#so you get both!

[cockroachesunite]

Go for broke AU part 4 1/2

Alternate version of this which I thought was equally funny (and probably just as likely)

☞(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) . (part 5)

[roguegrove]

disney prince(ss) astarion? idk where this came from but here it is if you would like to enjoy it. the sketch too cause it has a different vibe and i like it. which do you like better?

[befuddled-calico-whump]

Augusnippets Day 5: Drunk Caretaking

cw: alcohol, blood

for the @augusnippets challenge // word count: 632

=~=~=

“That all you got?” Joy slammed her empty shotglass onto the bartop, sliding it back and signalling to the bartender for another. The poor guy seemed more than a little concerned as he obliged, probably for the integrity of his establishment. Joy couldn't blame him. This was a tiny spot in a tiny town; more of a hipster bar than a roadhouse, unprepared for any shenanigans she and Finley may rain down.

“I can do this all night,” Finley said with a grin, leaning forward in her seat. She rapped on the bar with her knuckles. “Make it a double.”

The bartender let out a woeful sigh, but poured it anyway.

They'd run into each other by pure coincidence; both of them running a quick mission in the same small town. Finley'd looked a little beat up when they’d all-but crashed into each other, but she’d cracked the usual smile through the blood and invited her for drinks. Joy couldn't resist.

She raised her glass. “It's only a matter of time before you're on the ground. Might as well give up now.”

“Is that a promise, Cavan?”

Joy fought the urge to look away, gulping down her shot hastily as the blonde woman laughed.

“We both know you can't keep up.”

“Wanna bet?” Joy slid the glass back. “Another bubble— double.” Okay, so maybe it was going to her head a little bit, but Finley was looking a little dazed herself, eyelids drooping, smile turning loopy. Cute.

Nope. Not cute. An opponent Joy would definitely triumph over in this drinking contest.

Amd then they could go for drinks.

You're already going for drinks, dipshit.

Trying to breathe through her nose and not make it obvious she was blushing, Joy reached for her refilled glass. 

She froze when she heard something shatter.

It was Finley's glass, slipping from her hand as the woman suddenly slumped forward. Joy leapt up to catch her, nearly falling over with the sudden rush of dizziness that came with standing.

“Finley? Hey!” Unable to keep her balance, Joy dropped to a kneel, careful to keep her companion from hitting the ground too hard. Finley's eyelids fluttered.

“Hey hon,” she slurred. “Come here often?”

Shit, why had that hit her so suddenly? Why—? Her breath caught at the blooming red on Finley’s shirt.

What the fuck?

Joy swallowed down her panic, feeling more sober by the second. Had she been shot? How had neither of them noticed?

“What happened?” She tore open Finley's button down, revealing a thick layer of bandages wrapping around her waist.

“Shiiit, at least buy me dinner first.”

“Finley.” Blood was seeping through the white gauze on her torso. Joy pulled it away, revealing a hastily stapled gash across her stomach, oozing a steady stream of red.

“What the fuck? Did you seriously ask me out right after getting stabbed?”

“Sounded fun.”

“For drinks?”

“R’lax. Used a coagulant.”

The bartender was palefaced, leaning over the bartop with wide eyes. “Should I call an ambulance?”

“No,” they both snapped, and he retreated. Joy folded the gauze over, making a thicker pad and pressing it into the wound. Something in her heart twisted at Finley’s little cry of pain, but she pushed it back.

“Hold pressure on it,” she ordered, guiding her hands over the gauze.

“I know,” Finley muttered.

“Do you?” With a hand under her shoulders and another gripping the bar, Joy managed to get them both up. Her car was nearby. She had a med kit there, good enough to stabilize her until they made it back to the compound.

“Can't believe you’re dumb enough to go drinking after a stab wound,” she muttered.

“Can you blame me?” The dizzy grin was back. “How else would I get you to come home with me?”

[aftgphoenix]

Mers OR diary of a lonely traveler! Dealer’s choice!! (This is wandering_nushroom lmaoo)

How about some of both?

Here's the mers:

Kai's first goal was to get the gun. He threw his whole weight on the man's arm, aiming the gun away from himself as he did it. The man had been holding his finger against the trigger and the gun fired. The bullet shot off harmlessly into the forest. Not expecting the attack, the man let the gun slip out of his hand. Kai grabbed it and fell on the ground. He rolled out of the way and rose into a crouch, not sure what to expect next. He had the gun now but he wasn't entirely sure how to use it.

The man advanced towards him. Kai waited until the man lunged at him, rolling under the man's arm to dodge the attack. Kai realized his best chance would be to run. He took off while he had a chance.

The cliff was close. Kai pushed himself as hard as he could, trying to beat the man chasing him. It was possible the man would try to follow him off the cliff but Kai had the advantage once he hit water. He planned on swimming to the village beach and warning Mano and Keala. The three of them could take refuge in the caves by Tanau Island, maybe they could wait it out under the water for a few hours or days.

And a snippet from Diary of a Lonely Traveler from the last part of Neil's second year on the run.

We stopped in a town in Austria called Zell am Ziller for food and Mom got some supplies from the market there. Then we found a hotel and Mom had me help her patch up her leg better. It wasn't as bad as it could have been except that the bullet went all the way through which means there are two places she was bleeding from. We got her bandaged and then she said she needed to sleep for a bit. It was probably a little after lunch time. She slept until it started getting dark, which is a really long time. Then we saw a bunch of cars pull into the parking lot and Mom thought she recognized some of the people. We jumped out of the window again, which was harder since we were on the second floor.

[courtofmuses]

@cheerbears sent: 🎉 for a new year's kiss!

               MOST   OF   THE   TIME   EDDIE   STILL   couldn't   believe   that   Chrissy   Cunningham   was   his   girlfriend.   One   day   he   assumed   she'd   wake   up   and   figure   out   what   a   loser   he   was   with   nothing   to   offer   her   and   she'd   leave   his   ass.   Eddie   wouldn't   even   blame   her   for   it   because   she   was   so   far   out   of   his   league   it   was   pathetic.   He   also   knew   it   was   his   own   insecurity   talking,   making   him   wonder   if   this   was   going   to   be   the   day   she   got   sick   of   him.   They'd   been   through   a   lot   of   shit   and   came   out   on   the   other   side   mostly   intact.   He'd   kept   her   close   ever   since   and   often   found   himself   just   looking   at   her   like   she   was   the   only   person   on   this   planet.   

So   when   midnight   came   around,   ringing   in   the   new   year,   Eddie   didn't   hesitate   to   look   down   at   the   girl   he'd   been   in   love   with   since   middle   school   and   cradle   her   face   in   his   hands.   ❝   Happy   New   Year,   Princess.   ❞   He   smiled   softly.   ❝   It's   gonna   be   way   fucking   better   than   last   year.   ❞   Then   he   captured   her   lips   with   his   and   kissed   her   deeply.

[lgbtlunaverse]

The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

[slyandthefamilybook]

why do you guys talk like you think not voting means no one gets elected

[cerisedemons]

bite

[hinamie]

post-graduation trip airport looks

[symphonyofsilence]

Let the poor man rest.

[canisalbus]

✦ Freshly ordained ✦

[me-beef]

@strangeravatar made a great point

i was gonna focus on the spike-hotboxing-celestia aspect but i got distracted somewhere along the way and i think i forgot what joke i was trying to make

but dont you think its interesting how many guards of the exact same color/body type she's managed to accrue?? i do

ooohh you want to go look at our stickers so bad

[chloesimaginationthings]

You think FNAF Pit Bonnie has William’s memories?..

[bioethicists]

it's very important to understand how a personality disorder diagnosis functions in the psychiatric system, even if you identify with the diagnosis or find it useful.

personality disorders on your medical record will be used to discredit anything you say or do. they indicate "don't bother listening to this person; apply treatment regardless of their wishes but also they're probably manipulating/attention-seeking so maybe don't bother treating them". needing support becomes attention-seeking. behaviors that would be treated + supported in someone without this diagnosis are ignored or treated as manipulative. providers are instructed to "withdraw warmth" (a real thing in the DBT provider's manual, btw) in response to self-injury or suicidal ideation.

if you have been dx'd with a personality disorder professionally, you likely understand this.

now, here's the important part: this is not an issue of 'stigma' against a politically neutral, pre-discursive True Disease which is being Unfairly Maligned. these diagnoses were formulated based on the idea that some patients cannot be trusted, that some patients seek care too much. they are applied to patient charts as a justification for withdrawing care or as a dismissal of someone "not getting better" fast enough. in the uk, they are often employed by the nhs to shame or problematize people who use large amounts of nhs resources, arguing that receiving a lot of care through the nhs is a negative behavior stemming from a disordered personality.

there are elements of personality disorders which resonate strongly with many people, including myself, but you need to be clear-eyed about the origins + functions of this diagnosis. as a whole, they were created + function as ways to discredit + mistreat noncompliant or "difficult" patients. 'reclaiming' them is not going to change how they function systematically- it is going to make it easier to engage in this systematic neglect by evoking 'ableism' or 'stigma!' when people question the utility or application of the diagnosis.

[egophiliac]

everyone out of the way, this is the only thing I'm going to be thinking about from now on.

(okay, there is one more thing)

[lastoneout]

the whole guilt-tripping language in posts about important topics paired with how I'm still getting bitches in my notes talking about why it's actually good to tell "bad" people to kill themselves continues to prove to me that a lot of people have absolutely no concept of social justice or activism outside of assuming the worst of and then viciously attacking strangers on the internet