#so yeah that In Between. same as ''yes i practiced piano for several years no i can't accompany you or even easily learn a song''

[unproduciblesmackdown]

listened to the obcr Voices In My Head over confirming there's that like half step up of the "made" in "me and the voices in my head have made up our collective mind" that makes it a line that comes to mind & loops there & gets sung to myself often enough, but then was freshly appreciating what's going on instrumentally behind jeremy singing the "(then make up) my own mind" of the chorus which i'm not even sure what it is, but the effect is striking, initially i was like is there an eighth note in the vocals there vs all quarter notes? b/c like noting that jeremy's pitch/steps go up, Up, down vs the instrumentation going [same starting pitch] down, down, but that there's Something going on rhythmically so that the instruments kind of happen "behind" / not exactly On jeremy's, and then i was like is it also just that jeremy is also singing evenly in quarter notes but the notes being played instrumentally are like just slightly barely After his, though following the same rhythm, like, an eighth note behind, fuck it a demisemiquaver behind. anyways it pwns & the end of the song getting me all hype of course like argh The Energy fr

[katyspersonal]

6 for Micolash, Gehrman, or both (depending on your preference + if this got asked already lmaooooo)

(Ask from this ( x ) meme)

6) Psychological headcanons (tastes, fears, talents, regrets, how they deal with anger, just anything that comes to mind on the topic)

Oh all right... xD I did not expect to get to talk about these characters, but naturally I’ll choose both of them since there are only so many times I get concrete questions!

(For Micolash)

Whereas having plenty of charisma and sly, fascinating appear, he is not actually as ‘chill’ and composed as one could think! He is as much in struggle with anger issues as he is able to mesmerise with his lull-like tone. That is normally. Wearing his cage reduces it significantly, the effect of it on his behaviour is similar to sedating medicine or strong calming herbs.

So, normally, Micolash is quite splitting between roughly ‘a sentimental, sensitive, gentle, dignified intellectual willing to give and receive nurturing (especially in terms of education)’ and ‘a callous, vain, unceremonious, snappy, demanding crazy scientist that only wishes full devotion and worship’. It is however not as easy as to draw clear ‘two states’! His moods (and wishes) shift somewhat chaotically, sometimes hitting severe childlike neediness or complete apathy, too.

No, seriously, he can be hard to understand. Now he is almost yelling at the patient for being ‘pathetic’ and ‘useless’ and (righteously!) scared and tells them they should try to be like Adeline, next day he will hold this same patient’s hand and sob to them about how much he wishes to soothe their emotional suffering if they let him. Or he will mock and tease a close friend about something important for them, and later act bitter if they appear distrustful. Or he will cherish a tiny bug, and then switch heads of a dog and a crow between each other.

He is very good at playing piano. Yes, this one is simply inspired by a deranged piano in his theme, love it a lot. Naturally he is a huge bookworm. He ended up knowing a lot about everything as well - nature, history, literature, all that. Needless to say knowledge about ‘normal’ world soon turned to be useless in his eyes, however he sometimes still ruminates about it fondly.

He has permanent ‘lagging’ in terms of habitual skills - constantly forgets how to tie shoelaces, switches up between cursive and print font chaotically while writing, will not eat or drink until someone reminds him (or rather finds him passing out from starvation), sometimes will catch himself puzzled before staircase or a doorknob trying to remember how to use these... In fact, Nightmare of Mensis nature is a big relief for him, as ‘magic’ practically carries him everywhere (and even lets him run with untied shoelaces and not fall!). In the waking world? Yeah he is often helpless in tiniest things. However even in the Nightmare he’d need help in removing his Mensis Cage if he was to want to remove it because... yeah he forgets how to do it. :’)

Upon meeting new people, Micolash tends to close the distance very soon, sharing too much and developing strong attachment too soon. That lead him to making very intimate friendships fast, however not many are comfortable staying once he shows his “ugly” side too, so ironically he combines that with trust issues and clinginess. Over years in Byrgenwerth as he matured from young student guy into late adult and moreso man of medicine, this had progressed into becoming a huge control freak and manipulator - that was extremely useful when he started School of Mensis, however, so no pain without gain I guess?

He really loves it though when he finds someone who talks a lot; as much as he enjoys lecturing (and simply listening to his own voice xD), he likes to relax just once. He might not say much but he is actually paying attention to everything, even if person is ranting about some nonsense that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

Back in Choir he was almost never wearing Blindfold Cap. All in all presence in the Choir was not pleasant for him - starting from lacking direct eye contact that he needs, personally, ending with the very concept of entrusting one’s mind and will to the ‘stars’ instead of aspiring for becoming one able to find this way. That’s his philosophy. That is also what he believed he was guiding his followers to, failing to realise he ironically himself became a very oppressive leader.

He developed the habit of becoming very distraught and anxious if he is not seeing nightmares for a few nights, fearing it is a sign of something divine ‘abandoning’ him. He believes objective reality could never be peaceful and beautiful and it is always ‘sweet lie’ no matter if a human or a God gives it, finding comfort in horrors and uglyness as result.

For as long as he himself remembers, Micolash is woefully bad at appreciating what he is given until too late, as he overlooked Rom’s unconditional love and respect before she moved onto listening to others (mostly Great Ones), or Damian’s devotion and fatherly patience before Damian started to fear him, not just for him- Heck, he wonders if he disregarded potentially good friendship from Archibald and Izzy too, sometimes. Watch him nevermind Wet Nurse who is by his side and only have his eyes on Kos now, lol!

If he wishes for someone to get beaten, he usually always has someone he can command do that instead, as he watches and gloats, maybe giving ‘advices’ sometimes. However if he is to raise his own hand at someone - he believes they should consider it a very big honour.

As little opinion as he has on the Choir, or people who remained Byrgenwerth students after Healing Church broke away from Willem, sometimes Micolash is stuck feeling sad and cold and yearning that back then they’d been more accepting of him. Deep down he is very lonely and still wishes for genuine love even if he had cast away every chance in the name of knowledge and transcendence.

Speaking of love, he is very bookish and nerdy and it is nearly impossible to flirt with him as he redirects everything to the smart facts and ‘bigger’ things! One might think he doesn’t have an inch of sexuality in him! ...Except for the fullmoons. This is when he becomes extremely sensual.

He tends to feel move vulnerable with women specifically though. This stems from the fact that he doesn’t do mocking laugher before ‘Oh, majestic~’ if you play as female Hunter! In fact, being a woman and angrily yelling at him is the most guaranteed way to wipe the ever-present smug smile from his face, he will feel uneasiness and pit in his stomach that he can’t explain. He just really doesn’t want women to be mean with him, he is in fact desperate for a motherly or mom-girlfriend attitude (with Kos as a peak of this dreaming), though he will try to keep his Big Guy Who’s In Control facade at his best ability.

(For Gehrman)

Gehrman is a strange mix of callous and gentle as well, but unlike Micolash, Gehrman doesn’t suffer from his feelings shifting chaotically! Instead, his curse is that he cannot express his tender side (or even realise it before too late). In younger (?) years, if he was to like someone - he could outright cherish a napkin they dropped like a relic, write a diary page all over with their name, craft them the best gift ever (that he would never actually give) but once that person actually talks to him - the dumbest, the most insensitive shit would leave his mouth! You never know if he is a jerk or just an idiot! He is only in touch with his caring and loving side when he is all alone, which... defeats the purpose.

However, unlike with Micolash that cherishes every single living being (until he doesn’t), Gehrman is consistent in his attitudes. He cherishes only and only and ONLY human life, disregards any of whatever monster/beast/mutant/Kin/God/whatever. This is the dark side of him; though there is something respectable about how much he’s devoted to defending the humanity, but it was number one cause of conflicts between him and Old Hunters that regretted Fishing Hamlet massacre or started to doubt purpose of the hunt.

Nuff said, he is top notch craftsman, with weapons or inventions or clothes. And he is never tired of having to detalize everything - in fact, the more details the better, as he loves to get lost in physical work! In modern era he of course would disdain mass production of whatever... and have a right for it, because he hardworking enough to replace a wholeass assembly line! xD Screw sewing machines as well, he will sew everything with his own hands! Wonder how he is able to accept printed books instead of writing every single one with a pen? xD /j But yes he likes to create things. I like to think that ridiculously elaborate embroidery of Willem’s clothes is his work. And Willem tried to stop him to the more minimal design, but Gehrman was too absorbed to listen.

Although being stuck in the Hunter’s Dream had weakened him mentally, overall Gehrman is an extremely tough guy. To a fault, actually - he bottles up a lot, doesn’t admit his fears and and doesn’t let even close friends to see him cry. Something akin toxic masculinity. He just gotta be a killing machine and a reliable worker rather than a human being, he gotta, you don’t understand! The good part of it is that he is very composed and level-headed when he is angry, he could never snap.

He hasn’t really learned a thing from ‘How to pick up fair maidens’. Think of every possible gag along the lines of ‘person writes a reminder on their palm and reads it all wrong’ or ‘person memorizes a cheesy flirting line but when they say it - the mix up words making it sound like something dumb or awful instead’. Unreal contrast to Micolash’s charisma, huh? Gee I have a blast still comparing these two.

His biggest regret in life is that he failed to be a reliable emotional help for Maria when she needed it during her crisis. He could never forgive himself for it, however he represses these feelings deeply. His second biggest regret in life is eventually animating the Doll through a ritual in the Dream, because loneliness started to drive him insane and he needed an assistant! At first he was feeling very disgusted with himself, to the point of sickness, as if he tainted his most precious memory for a selfish reason. But well, it was for the sake of the hunt too - he was mentally falling apart and sooner or later would have allowed some hunter to kill him to be free! Someone to take turns so not every hunter is on him would be helpful. He still doesn’t know Maria’s soul was summoned within Doll since she remembers exactly nothing, however he feels a bit guilty he failed to explain her how to be more humanlike because... well, he himself doesn’t really know that! He is a little scared of her, too, to the point of not being able to fix the manufacturing errors he made with her face since his hands were shaking too much that time. It just feels too much like touching face of Maria herself, and that is NOT allowed in his eyes, and never will be.

As a jaded Old Man (TM), naturally he has many stories from his life to share! In fact, ones before the whole mess with the dungeons and the hunt and the ascensions are almost equally as interesting! He tends to focus on particularly morbid and violent ones though, lol he doesn’t go to many parties xd

He is in fact waaaaaaaaay more ‘educated’ than expected, and he used to be just as curious as an average high-ranking Byrgenwerth staff! He used to be a teacher there, in fact. After all he did have interest in ascension too when he went at Fishing Hamlet. He also did invent at least two kinds of meteorite-cut weapons with unique properties, he discovered how to use crystallised old blood to enhance weapons, heck, trick weapons themselves as concept are his! He always finds the coolest ways to utilise the most useless materials. Basically he has every kind of talent as a pay-off for little social skills ahaha.

He’s been quite reckless from childhood, and had great instincts. His first ever kill count happened when a rabid dog charged towards him and his first reaction was to grab a sharp metal road and ready to fight it, instead of running. Bullies trying to mess with him as a ‘quiet weird kid’ would end up leaving him alone and declaring he was “crazy” - he never showed signs of fear, as if he was actually ready to die any moment? But maybe he was! Secretly, Gehrman found some dark joy in it when the hunts became a regular thing; the side of him that had him question whether he’s been a ‘callous monster’ all his life finally was useful!

Speaking of which, despite tender feelings that Gehrman possesses, he has less than average morality and through his life only adopts bits and pieces of it based on reaction of others - if it is strong enough. Like how he never felt in the wrong about Fishing Hamlet until something ‘moved’ in him seeing how much Maria, whose opinion mattered for him, was horrified and broken about it. Lives of innocent fish people? pfffffft! Disappointing a person he was trying to impress, however? Oh god oh fuck. ‘Protecting humanity from inhuman things’ is the one consistent principle he can hold onto as it is simple and direct, but finding evil within humanity is... complicated.

[yourlocalfictionalenthusiast]

IN LIFE, IN DEATH..

Part Two

Part One

Warnings: swearing

‘Carefully, you reached towards the piano and tried to touch a vase of flowers but they passed right through your fingers. Your entire hand went numb then a tingly feeling spread throughout your body.

Well, two things were for sure.

You were definitely back, but you were definitely dead.’

-

“(Y/n)?”

Alex appeared by your side, pulling your hand away from the vase that you couldn’t seem to stop sticking your hand through.

You had been so distracted, you didn’t realize that the girl had come back until you heard her scream. Alex covered his ears and shouted over the noise.

“Please stop screaming!” He shouted.

She did, but she kept eyeing the four of you suspiciously. 

She was holding a cross out as she slowly stepped into the room. Her eyes were still wide with fear but she stood her ground. “Who are you and what are you doing in my mom’s studio?”

Luke gave her a look of confusion as he stepped forward. “Your mom’s studio? No, this is our studio.”

He yelped as she came at him with the cross. He jumped up on the piano and slid across the surface. “The grand piano is new, and-”

Luke cut himself off suddenly and in a fit of excited giggles, he ran towards the other side of the room. “My couch!”

You watched as he ran his hands over the worn leather, a dreamy look on his face. Despite the situation, you couldn’t help but laugh a little. After your time in the dark room, it was comforting to see some things never change.

Luke’s eyes flickered up to the ceiling, his eyebrows knitting together as he inspected the lights and chairs hanging down and you were reminded that more things had changed than stayed the same.

You decided you couldn’t take it anymore. You had to get to the bottom of this. And to do that, you needed the boys to focus for more than a few seconds.

“Boys, can I see you over here for a minute?” You said, gently leading Alex and Reggie away and gesturing for Luke to follow before turning back to the frightened girl.

“Excuse us for a second.”

You gave her an apologetic smile and shuffled over to the other side of the garage with the boys in tow. Once you got far enough away, Luke frantically whispered. “What is going on? How did she get her stuff in here so fast?”

“Maybe she’s a witch. I mean, chairs are floating on the ceiling.” Reggie exclaimed. You could feel Alex glaring at him as you placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“There’s no such thing as witches, Reg.” You said.

“You sure? Cause I used to think that there was no such thing as ghosts.”

Alex nodded reluctantly. “That’s fair.”

“Okay,” Luke butted in, “So, we’re going with witch?”

“No!” Alex scoffed. “We’re not going with witch. Look, she’s just scared. Let someone with a softer touch handle this.”

He turned towards the girl and approached her slowly before practically yelling in her face. “Why are you in our studio?!”

“Real soft, Al.” You whispered to him before extending your hand out to her, wincing at the awkwardness once you realized that like the vase, you probably couldn’t touch her either.

“I’m really sorry we scared you. I’m-”

Before you could finish, she jabbed her arms forward until the cross went clean through your chest. The tingling sensation came back in full force and you resisted the urge to shiver.

“Oh my gosh! How did you do that?” Her eyes were wide and unblinking as she stared at you.

“Clearly she doesn’t get it.” Alex said, turning back to the boys and then back to her, obviously exasperated. “We’re ghosts, okay? We’re just four ghosts who are really happy to be home.”

“We’re actually in a band called Sunset Curve.” Luke explained, his tone full of pride like it always was when he talked about the band.

“Tell your friends!” Reggie piped up with his signature line and you snorted. It was nice to know that even in death, Reggie was still the best hype-man.

“Last night was supposed to be a big night for us.” Luke said. “It was supposed to change our lives.”

“I’m pretty sure it did.” Alex interjected.

“This is freaking me out!” The girl shouted, keeping one hand held out towards you with the cross and the other pulling something out of her back pocket which she began frantically tapping on.

“What is that?” Luke asked, and the girl rolled her eyes.

“It’s my phone.” She cursed herself and shook her head. “No! Stop talking to them. They aren’t real. There is no such thing as cute ghosts.”

Reggie flashed her a dopey smile. “You think we’re cute?”

You rolled your eyes and Alex leaned forward. “Who are you calling?”

“I’m googling Sunset Swerve.”

You couldn’t help the surprised giggle that escaped your mouth as the boys groaned in unison. “Sunset Curve!”

Over Alex’s shoulder, you could see the bright screen of her phone as she pulled up an article. At the top was your professional band picture you had taken a year before the Orpheum. Luke was goofing around and playing Alex’s leg like a guitar while you stood by his side, sticking a finger in Bobby’s ear.

“Whoa.” She muttered. “There is a Sunset Curve and you did die. But not last night.”

You tried to keep your composure as she turned to look at the four of you, the fear in her eyes replaced with a small trace of sympathy. “25 years ago?”

“What? No, that’s impossible. After we floated out of the ambulance all we did was go to that dark room where these two cried.” Reggie gestured between you and Alex.

“Well, I think we were all pretty upset.” Alex said in his high pitched voice that usually made you laugh, but the mention of the dark room made you remember your moment with Luke. You turned around to look at him only to find him several feet behind you, eyes focused on a spot on the wall just past you. 

The fact that he was still avoiding you didn’t escape you, but you forced yourself to swallow the sad feeling and focus on the issue at hand.

“But that was just for like an hour.” Luke said. Despite the tension between you, the sound of his worried tone made your heart ache. “We just showed up here.”

The girl sighed. “I’m just telling you what my phone says. You died in 1995 when you were 17. It’s now 2020.”

“So, this is the future?” Reggie asked.

Your head was spinning. There was no way it had been that long, right?

“It’s really been 25 years? I’ve been crying for 25 years, how is that possible!?” Alex shouted. You rubbed his back softly.

“You’re an emotional person.” Reggie shrugged.

“I am not!” He said, his high-pitched voice coming back as he pouted.

Just then, an unfamiliar voice chimed in. “I thought you were too afraid to come out here.” 

You turned around to see a kid standing in the doorway, smiling as he came into the room. “You talking to your ghost friend? Is he hideous?”

“He can see you.” Alex snorted, bumping Reggie with his shoulder.

“No, he can’t.” The girl blurted, receiving a weird look from the younger kid.

She asked him what he wanted and he rolled his eyes. “A normal sister for starters, now stop being weird and come eat.”

The girl blinked at the garage doors her brother had just exited from before looking back at Alex. “He couldn’t see you.”

“Well, yeah. That’s kinda how ghosts work.” Alex said.

The girl huffed and marched towards the doors, spinning on her heels to face you again. “Look, I’m sorry for what happened to you guys, but this isn’t your studio anymore. You have to leave.”

“Wait.” Luke took a step towards her. “We didn’t get your name.”

“It’s Julie.”

“Cool.” Luke smiled. “I’m Luke, by the way, and this is…”

“Reggie! Hey.”

“I’m Alex, how’s it going?”

“I’m (Y/n).” You waved to her awkwardly as Luke stretched out his arms and made a little ‘tad-da’ sound.

“Okay...” Julie said before disappearing out the doors.

“Julie seems nice.” Reggie said brightly, making Alex sigh.

“Did you miss the part where she kicked us out?”

As you patted Reggie’s shoulder, your eyes drifted up to the loft where you could see the outline of more instruments. “Alex, aren’t those your drums?”

Alex followed your gaze and poofed up to the loft. “All of our instruments are up here!”

Luke immediately shot up from the couch where he had been sulking and faced you and Reggie with a mischievous grin on his face.

Half an hour later, you had your instruments set up in the middle of the room. Once it all came together, you could almost convince yourself you were back in the old studio having a normal band practice. The boys must have felt the same way because before you know it, you were singing as loud as you could as Luke played the opening of ‘Long Weekend’

You got lost in the music, smiling and dancing around. Even though it felt like it had only been a few hours since you sang at the soundcheck, it had been 25 years. It was as if everything you didn’t get to feel in all that time started pouring out.

You felt like you were floating - and not in the ghost kind of way. 

It wasn’t until you heard Julie’s annoyed rambles that you came back to reality. You stopped singing and the boys followed, though Luke couldn’t resist doing an extra few riffs on his guitar.

“The whole neighborhood can hear you!” Julie yelled. “I thought I told you to leave.”

“Wait, people can hear us play?” Luke asked. Your stomach fluttered with hope as Julie sighed.

“Yes! And so did my dad and my brother.”

Alex stood up from his drums. “So, only you can see us, but everyone can hear us? What kind of ghosts are we?”

Luke gave him a fistbump. “Who cares, man? People can hear us play!”

Suddenly, the door swung open and a man stepped in.

Julie smiled nervously. “Dad!”

“Hey, I was just making sure you’re okay.” He smiled.

“I’m fine. I just had to turn off the CD player.”

Julie’s dad nodded before turning around and looking at your instruments. “Is this the junk that was in the loft?”

“Junk?” You and Luke scoffed. His eyes flickered to yours but you looked away as the man started tapping on Alex’s drums with his fingers.

“Hey, man! Tell him to stop touching my drums!” Alex complained. Julie just shrugged as the man pointed to the CD player.

“I liked that song you had on.”

“Sweet! We’re Sunset Curve.” Luke cheered.

“Tell your friends!” Reggie said as if he could hear him.

“It’s just an old CD I found.” Julie explained.

Her dad smiled. “Well, it’s still nice to hear you listening to music again. Out here you can play whatever you want, whenever you want.”

Something in his voice was a little sad even with the smile on his face, and you noticed something seemed a little heavier about Julie too. You got the sense that the conversation wasn’t just about music.

He stretched his arms and they went straight through Reggie and Luke’s chests. They both shivered but smiled brightly.

“That’s nice.” Reggie said, which made Julie sigh in frustration.

“Stay out of this.” She snapped and her dad gave her a confused look and started to apologize. Julie shook her head frantically.

“No, no. Not you. You know what? Just give me a minute.” She grabbed her dad’s arm and started leading him out of the garage.

Before he stepped out, he gave her a squeeze on the shoulder. “We’ll figure out this music program thing.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

He gave her one more reassuring smile before he disappeared out the doors. 

Julie paused for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. You were just about to ask if she was okay when she whirled around and glared at all of you. If you weren’t already dead, you’re pretty sure that her stare would’ve killed you.

“He liked our song!” Luke yelled.

“He doesn’t count. He’s a dad.” Alex said.

Julie stomped her foot. “Why can’t you just be normal ghosts? Go haunt an old mansion or something! I heard Pasadena is nice!”

She stormed out and Alex whistled. “I think she’s warming up to us.”

“I’ve always wanted to go to Pasadena.” Reggie said.

“I feel bad.” You admitted. “I mean, if I was her, I’d probably be pissed too.”

“I don’t think-” Alex started, but before he could finish, Luke poofed out of the garage. 

“Rude.”

It was quiet for a few seconds before you heard Luke’s voice just outside the studio. You pointed towards the doors and Alex and Reggie nodded.

You closed your eyes and focused on where you wanted to go. Within seconds, you were standing on the pavement of the driveway, facing Julie as she and Luke talked.

“Look, I’m sorry we came into your life.” Luke said. “But what I just felt in there actually made me feel alive again.”

He looked back to the three of you and you nodded.

“We all felt alive again.” Luke sighed. “So, you can kick us out if you want. But we’re not going to stop playing music. I mean, we can play again! That’s a gift that no musician would give up. You gotta know that. I mean, clearly your mom is into music.”

Julie’s look shifted from understanding to sadness. She took a deep breath. “Was. She passed away.”

Luke exhaled. You could tell he was beating himself up a bit as he chewed on his lip. “I am so sorry.”

“Yeah, we didn’t know.” Alex said. Reggie nodded solemnly behind him.

“It’s okay.” Julie shoved her hands in her pockets and looked at Alex. “You haven’t seen her anywhere, have you? Like from wherever you’re from.”

“Uh, no. I mean you’re kinda the first person we’ve seen.” Alex said.

“Yeah, but she’s not dead so that doesn’t answer her question.” Reggie piped up, making Alex roll his eyes.

“I think she knows what we mean.” Alex turned to Julie. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

Julie’s gaze fixed on her shoes and she shrugged. “Thanks. Sorry I got mad. You guys are kinda good.”

“Kinda?” Luke scoffed. “That’s just 25 years of rust getting dusted off.”

“Yeah.” Reggie agreed. “Do you play piano too?”

Julie shook her head, a sad smile on her face as she stared through the studio’s window. “No, that’s just my mom’s stuff in there.”

“No way! She’s an amazing songwriter.” Luke said.

“She was.” Julie tore her eyes away from the garage. “Wait, how do you know that?”

Luke shrugged. “There’s a song on the piano, if that’s hers…Your mom was really talented.”

You nodded and Julie scanned all of you one last time. “I guess, if you need a place to stay…you can stay in there.”

You all cheered and Julie rubbed her temples. “This is just too weird.”

“Thanks, Julie.” You said. The other girl gave you a weak smile before she disappeared behind the gate leading back to the house.

-

An hour later, as you paced around the garage, you got an idea. Your hand flew to the front pocket of your jeans and you turned to Alex. “Hey, Al. I’ll be right back.”

Before he had a chance to ask why, you had poofed away.

It didn’t take long before your feet landed on the doorstep of the house. You wandered inside and it took a full minute of searching before you arrived at Julie’s bedroom door.

You tried to knock, but your hand went straight through the wood. You cleared your throat. “Hey, Julie?”

“Come in.” Julie said.

Carefully, you stepped through the door and into her bedroom. It was decorated a lot like the garage, with bright lights and pretty paintings. Julie sat in the middle of the room on her bed, and even though you probably couldn’t sleep anymore, you wanted nothing more than to lay down and take a nap.

“Hi. I’m sorry to bother you.” You fiddled with the zipper of your jacket. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry about your mom.”

The friendly smile she had wavered before she nodded sadly. “Thanks. I’m sorry again for freaking out back there. I guess I just still kinda think of it as her place.”

“Don’t be sorry!” You told her. “Believe me, I wouldn't have handled it as well as you did.

 I know we’re a lot to handle sometimes. And by ‘we’ I mean the boys.” 

You both laughed and Julie shrugged. “They’re not so bad. As far as ghosts go I would’ve expected them to be a lot scarier.”

“It’s really nice of you to let us stay. But I’m sure we can find somewhere else to go. I wouldn't want to intrude on your mom’s space.”

“No!” She said, sitting up slightly against her pillows, “I think it’s what she would’ve wanted.”

“She sounds like an incredible person.” You said. 

“She was.” She nodded. She took a deep breath in, “It’s just kind of hard to talk about her sometimes.” 

You nodded. “I understand. My dad died before I was born. All I really have of him are a few pieces of clothes and this picture.”

You reached into the pocket of your jeans, pulled out a polaroid picture and handed  it to Julie. It was of your mom and dad on the day they got engaged: your mom showing off her ring and your dad unable to stop smiling as he kissed the crown of her head.

It had been on you since the day your mom gave it to you with a box of his old things. The sight of your mom made your heart wince, but you weren’t ready to think about that yet.

Julie smiled as she stared at the picture then pointed to your jacket. “Is that his?”

It was a dark blue hoodie with sleeves that were a little too long for your arms so you had to bunch them up to fit your hands through.

“Oh, uh. No, this is Luke’s.” You explained, trying to fight the blush spreading across your cheeks. “Or at least it was before he waged a war on sleeves.”

Julie laughed again, and you couldn’t help but feel a little lighter.

“Anyway, I know it’s not the same,” You took the photo back and shoved it in your pocket. “But I do know what it’s like to miss someone, and if you ever want to talk about how much it sucks, I’ve been told I’m a pretty good listener.”

She nodded, a grateful smile on her face. “Thanks, (Y/n).”

You nodded and waved goodbye before poofing back into the garage. 

Between working at Cece’s, going to school, and making music, you never had much time to make friends when you were alive. Especially girl friends.

But you were starting to think that maybe you could have one now.

July 1994

“Slow down!”

You yelled over the noise of the crowds, your tone sounding a lot less intimidating than you wanted due to your laughter as Luke dragged you up the boardwalk.

He responded with a smirk over his shoulder while he waved through dozens of excited carnival-goers. The smell of fried food, funnel cake, and fresh ocean air flooded your senses as you tried to stay on your feet. The pace was almost dizzying, and your body was buzzing from the excitement.

You hadn’t realized where he was taking you until you saw an array of flashing neon lights spinning above you. The Ferris wheel.

“Seriously, Luke?”

“It’s tradition.” He beamed, fidgeting excitedly as he got in the line. It was not lost on you that he was still holding your wrist in his left hand. “I mean, can you even remember the last time we did this?”

You didn’t. But you weren’t going to prove Luke’s point for him.

“Next, please.” The ride operator gestured for the line to move up and before you knew it, Luke was shoving you into the cart. It was a faded red one with a ‘7’ painted on the side.

“You know, it’s okay to admit that you only dragged me over here to avoid everyone seeing me kick your ass at Skee ball.” You joked.

The ride started and your cart was lifted into the air while more people got on.

“Excuse you, I dragged you over here because I wanted to spend time with my best friend.” He said sincerely, but you could see the mischief behind his eyes. “Or maybe I wanted to do this!”

Luke suddenly jerked forward, then pulled himself back, making the cart wobble.

“Luke!” You gripped the support bar and glared at him. Once your heartbeat righted itself, you shoved him with your shoulder. “You’re hilarious.”

“About time you admitted it.”

The ride spun around a few times before slowing to a stop just as you reached the top. The sun was gone now, but there were still soft streaks of pink in the sky left behind. The noise of the carnival faded out beneath you and the playful mood shifted into something different as the sky began to darken.

“Are you cold?” He asked, looking back at you for the first time in a few moments. Something in his eyes seemed softer, but you tore your eyes away before you could figure out what it was.

You shook your head and tried to hide the fact that you had goosebumps from the cool night air. Despite Alex’s reminders, you had forgotten your jacket in the car. But you were too stubborn to admit that you needed it, especially knowing how much Luke would tease you for it.

“Dude, you’re shivering.” Luke laughed and rolled his eyes before shrugging his jacket off his shoulders and wrapping it around you.

The material was warm and soft against your skin. It smelled faintly like cinnamon and laundry detergent and suddenly your head felt dizzy all over again. "Thanks, Lu."

You weren't sure what gave you the confidence for your next move, but you ignored the screaming voice in your head as you slid over and tilted your head until it rested on his shoulder. It was something you’d done before out of comfort, but you felt out of your element in this moment.

Some hair on the top of your head ruffled as he took a deep breath and you could hear the soft smile in his voice when he spoke.

“Anytime.”

There was a moment of anticipation, like just before a big drop on a rollercoaster. Neither of you dared break the silence for fear of shattering the moment and the feeling that came with it. Just as it seemed like maybe it would last forever, the Ferris wheel suddenly moved forward and the moment evaporated.

"So." You said, trying to distract yourself from the fluttering in your stomach. "How much do you wanna bet that I actually can kick your ass at Skee Ball?"

-

Taglist:

@ifilwtmfc @instabull

Let me know if you want to be added!

[firstofficerwiggles]

Only for You

Pairing: Mandalorian x female reader

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Summary: You like to sing and it ends up bringing you closer to the Mandalorian. Events take place sometime between Seasons 1 and 2. It’s pretty much fluff with a teeny bit of story.

Word Count: ~4600

Author’s Note: Inspired by the Adele version of Make You Feel My Love, I use several of the lyrics in the story but I did make one small change to make it fit the SW universe. Also in my SW universe, all Earth music is readily available by some magical means, don’t overthink it.

P.S. To everyone I tagged, I did a presumptive tag here since you were on my list for Dress Code and I thought maybe you’d enjoy reading this too? I’m sorry if you aren’t interested and just let me know if you don’t want to be tagged for any future works.

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The soft sounds of you singing to the child drift through the Razor Crest up to the cockpit making Din smile under his helmet. Ever since you came aboard to be the caregiver for his little foundling, life has been filled with music and boisterous sounds. It’s a nice change from the lonely silences that previously filled his days. He never really listened to music when he was alone, it just wasn’t something he was used to, but now he knows he would miss it if you weren’t singing all the time.

“Heeey, hey baby, I wanna know-ow-ow, if you’ll be my guy.” You sing to the child causing him to giggle and coo at you. You swear he is even bopping his head along to the rhythm of the song. You’re preparing the evening meal, dancing around the Crest’s hull and singing to your little green charge as you do. Thank goodness Mando doesn’t mind how much you sing and generally create a ruckus in the ship. From outward appearances, your primary worry should have been Mando’s dangerous lifestyle and the bounty on the child, but honestly, when you first started this job, your primary concern was about being way too noisy for the taciturn bounty hunter. You feel like you can’t help it though because you were raised in a loud household with three brothers where everyone was always talking, laughing, shouting, and generally being rowdy. Later, you were away at school living with hundreds of other students constantly surrounded by racket, the perfect environment for your noisy nature. Not to mention, you’ve always loved to sing and were known for being that one (slightly annoying) friend that was always humming a tune or breaking out in song like you were in a musical.

You were fortunate to be sent to a school with a great arts program and you relished your music classes. You had dreamed of someday being able to have a career in music, but as the war grew closer to your corner of the galaxy, those aspirations quickly faded. By the time you left school, you were lucky to find the odd teaching job as a tutor and the closest you’d come to having any sort of musical profession was singing and playing the piano at the local cantina a few times a week for tips. It had been fun for a while, but it wasn’t how you had envisioned your life. Playing the same requested songs night after night while increasingly drunk men hit on you loses its charm real fast. When your older brother, another bounty hunter, had told you about Mando needing some help with childcare, you had jumped at the opportunity for something new. So far it was proving to be the most rewarding job you’d ever had. Not only was the child unbelievably adorable, you’d also had the opportunity to travel to many new places and gain experiences that would have been impossible back on your home world. And while caring for the special alien baby was your main task, you found yourself helping out his father as much as you could too whether it was simply cleaning up around the Crest or making sure that Mando ate something on a given day. You had seen that he frequently put everyone above himself, going for long stretches of time without seeing to his own personal needs. He seemed to appreciate everything that you did for him, always quick to thank you even for the smallest of tasks.

You checked the timer on the food and saw that there were just a few more minutes until it would be ready. To keep the baby from getting fussy, you pick him up and spin him around a bit singing to him again, “So won’t you, please, be my, be my, be my little baby, my one and only baby...” It’s silly but you love singing songs to him with the word “baby” in them even if they aren’t traditionally songs for children. You are mid twirl with the child when you realize the Mandalorian has come down from the cockpit and is watching your little performance. You feel your cheeks heat up, a bit embarrassed that he has caught you being such a dork, but then he puts you at ease when he chuckles, “You two look like you’re having fun.”

“Yes, time for dinner and a little dancing,” you reply with a smile, twirling the child one more time causing him to erupt in happy giggles.

“Good, I’m starved,” Mando wanders over to the food, “Smells delicious. You’re too good to us.”

You put the baby back down and turn back to the little stove to dish out the stew you’ve made. You try not to think about the fact that you made this particular dish because Mando seems to like it so much. You couldn’t be certain but it looked like he licked the bowl clean the last time you made it. Mando moves to take his bowl up to the cockpit so he can remove his helmet and eat in privacy, but then turns to you to say, “I’ll let you know when it’s ok to come up for lullaby time.”

Ah yes, lullaby time, as if you would ever forget. It is the highlight of your day, and you would love to imagine that the same is true for Mando even though he’s never given any indication of the kind. When you first started this job, you had tried to give the Mandalorian as much space as possible not wanting to pester him in any way. As much as you could, you had stayed out of the cockpit treating it as his own private domain. So the first few times you put the child to bed, you stayed down in the hull as you sang him a few songs to help ease the little womp rat into sleep. But, after a few evenings alone like that, Mando had managed to be downstairs, tinkering away at little odd jobs while you put the baby to bed. At first you didn’t really think he was paying much attention to your singing, but by about the fourth night you realized he had been cleaning the same blaster over and over, and you began to suspect that he was listening to you as intently as the child. A few days later, he suggested that you come up to the cockpit for the child’s nighttime routine, saying “Maybe looking out at the stars will help him feel sleepy.” You had agreed, but, you had to admit, that it was more because you were curious about spending more time with your employer than finding a way to help the little one fall asleep faster. Mando had been the one to coin the term “lullaby time” as a way to let you know that his helmet was back on and he was ready for company. Your heart almost melted the first time he said it, and now you lived to hear him call down to say “Ok, you two, it’s lullaby time.”

In the cockpit, Din is gulping down his dinner. He knows he should probably slow down, savor his food a bit more, but truthfully he’s eager to spend more time with you and the child. He’s thought about staying down below with you both when he eats, but tipping the helmet up each time he wants to take a bite of food or a sip of a drink is a pain and he can’t risk the chance that one of you will see too much of his face. Din would never admit it out loud, but lullaby time is his favorite part of the day. It’s the one time he gets to spend time with you and the child just relaxing and enjoying your presence. Plus the fact that he gets to listen to your beautiful voice is a special bonus. At first Din would just watch you hold the child and sing to him, but now he’s a more active participant, often taking the child into his arms, rocking him gently as you sing to the both of them. He’s even started to ask you more about the songs you sing and where you learned them. It’s been a nice way to start conversations with you, to know more about you, something else he is eager to do.

When Mando calls down to you, you beam down at the baby and tell him happily that it’s time to get ready for bed. Scooping him up, you climb the ladder to the cockpit and you can see Mando already holding out his arms for the little one. You adore how affection this hardened warrior can be with his adopted son. You settle in the co-pilot’s chair as you start to sing some of your favorite songs. They’re all love songs, not really lullabies, but they are soft and dreamy and create the right mood for the evening. You’ve sung about four songs when you notice the child’s eyes are closed and you can tell he’s almost asleep. You’re about ready to collect him from Mando so you can put him into his pram for the night, when Mando asks, “What’s that song you sing about feel my love?”

“Make You Feel My Love?” you ask, “Is that the one you mean?”

“Yeah,” he replies, “you didn’t sing it tonight.”

It’s not exactly a request, but you understand what he’s hinting at. He’s asked you the name before, so you suspect he remembers the song fairly well. Even though the child is practically asleep now, you sing it for Mando, feeling touched that he must enjoy this particular song to want to ask about it.

             When the rain is blowing in your face

             And the whole world is on your case

             I could offer you a warm embrace

             To make you feel my love

             When the evening shadows and the stars appear

             And there is no one there to dry your tears

             I could hold you for a million years

             To make you feel my love

Din listens to the beautiful words and the haunting melody as your voice sings to him about all the ways you would show him that you care. He watches your lovely face as you sing and he imagines that you really mean what you are singing, that you’re singing it just to him, that you really would do all of that for him. When you get to the line I could make you happy, make your dreams come true he feels his heart lurch at the truth in those words, knowing how much you already make him happy every day and acknowledging that if you were ever truly with him, it would be like a dream come true for him. As the song ends, he sighs, both contented at hearing it but also saddened to come back to reality. Din won’t let himself believe that a woman like you could ever really love him so unconditionally. His life is too turbulent, full of violence and hardship, and what woman would want to saddle herself with that?

Even though you’re not privy to Mando’s true feelings, you somehow feel that you could tell how much he enjoyed hearing that song and so after that evening, you are sure to sing it as the last song every night. Usually the child is already fast asleep when you sing it, so each time it becomes clearer to you that you really are singing it just for Mando. As the days and week progress, lullaby time has come to be followed by conversation time since you have taken to returning to the cockpit after putting the child to sleep in his pram. At first you mostly spoke about your own life, answering Mando’s questions about where you learned to sing, what else you learned at school, and what life was like with your three crazy brothers. Yet, little by little he has begun to tell you about his own past, sharing stories about his training in the Mandalorian fighting corps and his earlier years as a bounty hunter.

The more you find out about Mando, the more you’ve come to develop real feelings for him. So when you sing that there’s nothing that you wouldn’t do for him, that you want him to feel your love, you know you really mean it. If only you could bring yourself to tell him in your own words, and not only in the song. Nonetheless, if you’re honest with yourself, you have no indication that Mando shares your feelings even slightly. While he does seem to enjoy spending time with you, and clearly he likes Make You Feel My Love, truthfully he could be thinking about anyone when you sing it or it could be that he just likes the music and the company, it’s not like there’s someone else here. Sure he’s always polite and kind towards you, but he’s like that with lots of people, as long as they’re not a threat. You’ve seen how quickly he can make friends, despite being an intimidating wall of metal, his quiet charm and respectfulness draws people to him in an unassuming manner. Perhaps you’re simply another friendly admirer swept up by his intriguing aura. So you do your best to keep these feeling to yourself, maintaining as neutral an expression as you can when you sing to him and doing your utmost not to embarrass yourself by sharing too much and potentially ruining the friendly companionship you’ve managed to cultivate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I don’t think this will take too long, and you two can probably get something to eat while we’re here.” You and the child have accompanied Mando to a cantina on an icy planet where he has a meeting with a potential client. It was too cold to stay on the Razor Crest with its meager heating system, and thankfully this place is warm and doesn’t seem too seedy. The bar top looks well-polished and there’s even a piano in here, hinting at a nicer atmosphere than most of the hole-in-the wall joints you’ve been to with Mando. The only unsettling thing is how everyone in the cantina is staring at your odd little group, the silver warrior, the alien baby in his floating pram, and you, the woman looking about with curious eyes. You have never quite gotten used to the way that Mando can silence an entire room just by entering it, but he seems unperturbed by the stares. He spots his client, an older looking gentleman, and moves toward that direction, but a group of patrons have decided to intervene first.

“What’s your business here, Mandalorian?” A tall, florid-faced man demands. He seems to be the unofficial leader of the group, as the rest of them are looking to him as the voice of authority.

“It’s not with you.” Mando is never one to mince words.

“We don’t need you coming in here and causing trouble, I’ve seen how you Mandos get.” A much shorter man, with clearly a death wish, sticks his finger towards Mando’s chest plate almost poking him.

“Not here for trouble.” Mando’s voice sounds gruffer than usual and it sends a shiver down your spine.

“Well you Mandos never drink in public, so what are you doing in a cantina?” The short man sneers at him and ugh, the way he makes Mandos sound like a dirty word irritates you to no end.

Not one to be baited into confrontation, Mando says nothing in reply, but merely tilts his helmet at the man, and you can feel the annoyance in his gesture.

“This a decent place for decent people, so why don’t you just turn around and get out of here?” The tall man suggests with a malicious tone to his voice. This place might look at little nicer, but the patrons sure are nasty. You look around and see more men standing up, and the tension in the room is palpable. You know Mando could really use the work, but the last thing he needs is to get into a fight just trying to land the job.

You have no idea what possesses you, but before you know it you’re saying “But if we leave now, you won’t get to hear me sing!” And you stride confidently over to the piano, plop yourself down on the bench, and begin playing out a jaunty song, a popular tune from your cantina back home. Despite the fact that everyone is now staring at you like you have lost your mind, you press ahead and start singing as if this was always the point of being there.  You smile brightly at the room as if you are having the time of your life performing for them. Magically, your ridiculous ploy works and the men back off, a bit startled at first by the abrupt change in energy in the room, but as they beginning listening to you sing their animosity seems to drain away. Several other patrons are nodding their heads along with the music and light conversation picks up again. Mando gives you a small nod before finally making his way over to the client. You let the music flow and continue on to another song, keeping everyone’s attention on you. By the third song you feel more relaxed and grateful that you’re able to help Mando out in this way. A waiter comes over from the bar with a drink for you as you end a song, “That was smooth, what you did,” he gives you a little wink.

“Hope your boss doesn’t mind,” you say with a smile.

“The drink’s from him, he said he didn’t realize I hired a singer for tonight, but he’s real pleased with you.” He gestures to the man tending bar.

“That’s good,” is all you can think to say in response.

“Do you know She’s Always a Woman?” he asks. You nod smoothly and start the song and you glance over at the bartender again and see that he’s smiling widely, must be a favorite of his.

After that, a tip jar finds its way over to the piano and patrons come up to add to it and make their own requests, even the tall man comes over to give you a few credits and ask for a song. His cronies are now back to their drinks and none of them even seem to register that Mando is still here. The more you sing, the more you get into the fun of performing for a crowd again, making them forget their troubles and letting them take some time to enjoy themselves. When you glimpse towards Mando and his client, they also seem to appreciate the music. The client has a happy smile on his face and while you obviously can’t see Mando’s expression, his relaxed posture indicates an improvement from earlier. He doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave for once either.

Looking at the pleased faces and jovial manner about the cantina now, Din is impressed with how you managed to transform this place from hostile to welcoming in a matter of minutes. The client appreciated your help too as he was worried about hiring a bounty hunter in the first place, never having had a need for such services before. Fortunately, the client’s explanation of the job was fairly straightforward and it looks to be an easy bounty. Din is careful to repeat back all of the pertinent details to the client and the man seems satisfied in his abilities to find the quarry, which is good because his usual laser-like focus has abandoned him and he can’t stop himself from glancing repeatedly over to the piano and you. Normally, Din wouldn’t hang around and socialize with the client, but the opportunity to see you perform like this is too good to pass up. He knew you were talented after hearing you sing for him and the baby for so many evenings, but seeing you shine like this is a luxury. Din watches keenly as different emotions play across your gorgeous face as you shift from happy, upbeat songs to the more expressive and dramatic love songs. You are always beautiful to Din, but seeing you like this is special, like you’re glowing from within and it makes you all the more precious to him. He’s not crazy about the fact that you’ve clearly captivated at least half of the men in the room with your beauty and talent, but he knows you’re leaving here with him and it makes him feel rather smug. As Din listens to you sing a love song about how you think about the man you love night and day, he indulges in a fantasy where the song is about the two of you, especially when you sing about spending your life making love to him. It’s easy to imagine especially when you keep looking over at him with such an outright flirtatious expression during the song.  

Under the guise of performing, you let yourself look at Mando with all of the desire and love you’ve been keeping under wraps for so long now. You’re careful to let your eyes roam around the room, flirting with the other patrons too, but every time you turn back towards Mando you let your gaze soften a bit more. As the evening wears on, you let yourself sing all of your favorite love songs, telling Mando how you feel with each one, promising that you’ll love him forever, that you’ll never let him go, and how he’s the only one for you. You know you’re just pretending that he understands why you’re singing each one, that they’re all for him. The only song you can’t bring yourself to sing is Make You Feel My Love. It seems too personal, too private to perform in front of all these strangers.

The crowd at the cantina starts to thin out and you know you’ve been here much longer than Mando originally planned. You decide it’s time to bring this interlude to an end and thank your audience for their attention, playing one last song to say good night. When the music ends, you stand and take a small bow to the round of applause. You collect your tips and an additional unexpected payment from the bartender, along with several requests to come back again soon. Mando is back at your side and he places a hand at the small of your back guiding you out the door and into the snowy night. You expect him to pull away once you are out of the crowd, but he stays close to you.

“Thank you for that impromptu performance.” He deep voice rumbles in your ear as you head back to the Razor Crest, “It was a welcome distraction from those idiots and I appreciated not having to get into a bar brawl.”

“Anything to lend you a helping hand,” you reply warmly.

He nods, and then says, “You’re really very talented. You could do well for yourself, singing full time in a nice cantina or a casino somewhere.”

“Tonight was fun enough, but I’ve had my time singing in a cantina, it gets old faster than you think,” you tell him, “besides why would I give up the best job in the galaxy?”

“The best job in the galaxy?” Mando scoffs a little at that.

“Sure it is! I get to travel around all over seeing all kinds of planets and people, take care of the most adorable magic baby ever, and spend time with his amazing father.” Oops, did you just say that last part out loud?  

Mando is quiet for a beat, but then he says, “You’re the amazing one.”

You’re too shocked to say anything more than a mumbled, “Thanks” and hurry towards the Crest.

Once aboard you check on the baby, but he’s already asleep, so all you do is tuck his blanket around him a little more and then climb up to the cockpit where Mando is readying the controls for take-off. Even though you’re still a bit embarrassed by your unplanned compliment earlier, his response has made you curious. You sit quietly as you leave the planet’s atmosphere and the ship makes the jump to hyperspace, the whole time racking your brain for the right words so that maybe you can finally give Mando a clue about your feelings. You’re about to give up, when he says, “You didn’t sing Make You Feel My Love tonight.”

“Ah, no, no I didn’t.” Maker, you want to tell him why, but the words are frozen in your throat.

“That’s my favorite song.” Mando finally admits to you.

“I thought it might be,” you say, “that’s why I sing it every night.”

“But not tonight?”

You take a deep breath. He’s giving you the perfect opportunity and you gather all your courage as you tell him, “It felt too personal to share such an intimate song with all of those people. When- when I sing that song, your song, it’s only for you.”

“My song?” You swear his voice gets deeper when he tries to clarify what you mean.

“Yes, that’s how I think of it now.” You look at his visor where you think his eyes must be, trying to silently confess to him what that song means to you.

“My song.” Mando repeats, before asking, “Do you know why it’s my favorite?”

“No, I- I really don’t. I just knew you liked it when you asked me about it a couple times.”

He’s quiet again for a moment and you wonder if he’s going to elaborate when he finally says, “It’s my favorite song because I imagine that you really mean what you’re singing, that you’re singing it to me for real.”

“I am singing it to you for real,” you finally confess, “I mean every word each time I sing it for you.”

“You are? And you do?” Mando seems genuinely surprised, “How- How is that possible?”

You smile at him and because you feel like you might as well go for it, you stand up coming closer to him and then you reach down and take his hands in yours, “It’s possible because you’re such a wonderful man, you treat me with respect, you’re kind, you let me be my annoying, loud self as much as I want--”

“I don’t think you’re annoying,” he interjects.

“And see, that, right there, you always make me feel good, you just make me glad to be around you, it’s one of the many reasons why I fell in love with you, why I am in love with you.” The words come tumbling out of your mouth and your chest feels tight, but then he squeezes your hands.

“I’m in love with you too, have been for a while,” he says softly. Then he tugs you closer to him until you’re sitting in his lap with his arms around you. He holds you close to his chest, and you can’t imagine how this could be any better, until you hear his rich baritone voice sing the last lines of the song to you,

             I could make you happy, make your dreams come true

             Nothing that I wouldn’t do

             Go to the ends of the universe for you

             To make you feel my love

             To make you feel my love

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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it.

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged for any future fics!

Tag list: @sleepwithacommunist @im-the-nerdiest-of-them-a11 @rueblogsthings @mackycat11 @tv-zepeda @remmyswritings @mudhornchronicles @boomtownboy @mandosboobiez @hoodjarin @haley7242

[thatblondeperson]

So I learnt from that Tim Drake Guy's tumblr that Steph is a bully and abusive with Tim is that true. I ask since I know you seem to agree with a lot of the thoughts expressed on that blog. Can you help me find some examples of Tim/Steph comics. I was going to get YJ but the same tumblr blog says it's bad

So I want to preface with some very solid advice I've learned from being in fandom. It's really hard to learn anything from any blog because so much of it is opinion based, that the line between headcanon and canon gets far too muddied too often, and there's also always going to be biases that come from very personal spaces. It's important to take everything that every blog says ESPECIALLY in the DC fandom, with a very large grain of salt because half the fandom really doesn't actually seem to source their information with anything other than out of context panels, shitposts, or their own perfect ideals of what they want to gleam from the pages of each comic. It's all interpretive, and I'm sure that sounds a little bit petty, but I'm adding myself in here too because I have my own opinions separate from others, despite my firm ideology in staying as close to canon as I possibly can.

As far as that blog, I actually strayed away from them because I no longer agreed with a lot of what was being said. It got to the point where it was getting very unnecessarily negative all the time, and I want no part in this ship war that drives practically every bit of drama in the Tim fandom. I think that there is a lot of merit to some of the opinions on that blog, and they're clearly an expert on Tim in many ways. I knew them personally, so I can attest to that. But I think they also read only what they WANT to read on every page, and I think that makes for a lot of gaps where misinformation can leak in. That got filled with a lot of straight up wrong assessments of Stephanie Brown, and unfortunately that blog was already prime traffic for antis to spew unnecessary hate, so once the blog itself got on board, I tapped out.

No, Stephanie is not an abuser or a bully. I think tumblr throws around the word abuse far too casually. At most, Steph teases Tim, but never to a malicious or purposefully hurtful extent. She pokes at him, just like you would with a best friend. He barely even protests. A simple "Steph..." every now and again, but he even teases her back often and jokes with her. She's not an abuser, in fact, she herself is a victim of severe abuse in her childhood. Her flirting at the beginning of her and Tim's relationship is a bit intense, but she's 15, and doesn't know how to catch his attention. Her boyfriend was clearly way older than her and did not treat her well, her father abused her mother, and she was sexually harassed by her father's friends. She's never seen a healthy relationship to know how to act. Once they get together, she mellows out and is actually very compassionate and kind with Tim, and especially supportive.

A lot of haters throw around all this terrible stuff she did.

They say she stole Robin from Tim. He stepped away from the mantle, and she thought she caught him cheating, and Bruce opened up the opportunity for her.

They highlight a time when she almost blew Tim up. Bruce told her to do something drastic to force Tim to be a better Robin. Should she have thought it through? Yes. But she was young, and still desperate to prove herself.

Steph is a loose canon throughout a lot of her appearances. She doesn't always think before she acts, and that is one of her major flaws. She gets into trouble often, and that causes a lot of tension between her and Tim, often from him becoming overprotective of her.

Steph starts out fairly cynical in the beginning and softens up over time. After the explosion stunt with Tim, she does get her act together and she goes through a fantastic character arc where she really improves upon herself. She becomes a beacon of hope, but she really already was one. She's always been a source of light for Tim. She's a constant tether for him throughout their relationship, and she constantly bringing him back to reality. I think their dynamic is really great, and it does hurt me a lot how often she gets dragged through the mud now. It's tumblr, what can you do?

It's also interesting to me how often Steph is called out for being the unhealthy one, and they never talk about how Tim was the shitty boyfriend way more often:

Kept his identity from her but didn't respect keeping hers private

Kissed her when he was dating someone else at the time (he's actually kinda known for subtle two-timing, but this is hardly brought up by fans)

Essentially stalked her for a while

Often told her she needed to stop being Spoiler (overprotective nature yes...but still)

Interesting how the relationship is only toxic because of Steph. Hell she even gets shit for getting upset that Greta straight up tried to kill her in Young Justice, because they think it was selfish of her that she was desperate to learn Robin's identity. Yeah sorry...murder vs wanting to know your crushes name? Which is worse?

I'm also not going to sit here and demand that everyone love Steph. It's ok that people don't like her, I could give 2 shits, but if they're gonna spew hate, I'd prefer it be rooted in truth. Some of what I see written about her is just so so wrong...there's a trend in anti culture to even write her as Tim's rapist which YIKES. That's so beyond a healthy amount of dislike for a character.

Anyway, comic recs!!!

Detective Comics 647-648. (First appearance of Steph/Spoiler with classic "love at first brick" moment.)

Robin 57-65 (First date issue which is the cutest thing ever. Robin does a little flip at the end because he's so happy. And the chronology of Steph being pregnant which Tim was supportive of the whole time. Super sweet)

Robin 100-104 (Steph gets sick and Tim brings her soup. Lots of cute domestic moments, and you get more into Steph's past)

Robin 111 (more about Steph's past with Tim being super supportive, also the infamous piano issue which is a personal favorite of mine)

Robin 116 (very cute moments after Tim forgets his bday and everyone, Steph included, surprises him)

Robin 119 (supportive bf Tim, strikes again)

Robin 120 (Steph being an amazing supportive gf)

Batgirl 8 (Steph's run, where she and Tim collide again for the first time in a long time. Awkwardness and tension ensues, Tim tries to make a move)

Red Robin 10 (more crossover, very fun. More awkwardness and tension)

Convergence Batgirl (Not the best run, but a nice bit of closure for the pre flashpoint universe. Very sweet and wholesome.)

There's way more that I could list but I'm awful with issue numbers tbh. I know the stories, but I don't have the catalogue memorized. Better people than me have probably made a masterlist of TimSteph comics lol

I don't think you should let any blog turn you away from any particular series. I think if you wanna try out the new YJ, go for it!! I'm very cynical to anything published post 2011, but YJ is the only thing I've consistently read that's NEW, in years. I find it fun. Is it the best? No, not by miles, and it gets stuck with a lot of nonsensical filler often. But it's still a very cute and fun run.

I hope this ask gave you a lot of good info! I also recommend the very long post that should be just below this that goes into a lot of fandom misconceptions about Stephanie brown with more picture examples to highlight everything. Thanks for the ask, anon! I hope you have a lovely time reading these comics and hopefully many more!!

🖤💜❤😊😊😊❤💜🖤

[some-dr-writings]

SHSL Barista Shuichi x Reader One-shot: A Very Mysterious Birthday

Shuichi rather groggily awoke up that morning. Though taking a glance at the standing desk calendar atop his bedside table perked him up faster than drinking a latte with several espresso shots in it, like the ones he’d often make for himself every morning. It was his birthday! You, his partner, the SHSL Detective said you’d spend the whole day with him. It was rarer for such a thing to happen. You were rather busy with most everyone constantly requesting your services.

You were so busy, you two even met when you were working. You were looking for an ex-friend of some person who had cut contact with them and wanted to reconnect. You met him at the Hope’s Peak cafeteria as he worked, requesting a drink since you had stayed up the night prior investigating, needing more energy to keep going just a little longer. Shuichi was immediately intrigued by you, he had heard of you and how you were often found collapsed and being sent to the nurse’s office, never resting when you had work to do. At first, he chatted with you to try to stall you, so you’d rest just a little longer but all too quickly the pair of you were deep in conversation of your pasts. Shuichi told you how he kind of worked as a detective, working with his uncle at his detective agency. Of how he’d often go on coffee runs for his uncle and other detectives. He quickly saw how expensive constantly going out for coffee became so he opted to get the proper equipment and started making coffee for everyone at the office. Some of the detectives started bragging about how great his drinks were and soon the office became a detective agency and coffee house hybrid with people dropping by solely to buy Shuichi’s coffee. Shuichi didn’t truly throw himself into being a barista till he solved a case he regretted solving… he didn’t go into detail about that, instead explaining how because of that incident he sort of escaped and gained the courage to look people in the eye again through serving them coffee and making light banter to lift their moods when cases got especially dark. From that day onward you’d go to the cafeteria for a coffee break to get a drink from your favorite barista and eventual boyfriend.

He so excitedly started texting you but got no reply. This was not too surprising. You often left your phone on silent or vibrate when working on a case, and he knew despite how true to your word you tried to be, you always got tangled up in cases, focusing solely on them. He wasn’t surprised if in the night you had gotten a text relating to a new case and started working on it. He was admittedly a little disappointed, but he couldn’t help but smile to himself imagining how you were likely so passionately dashing around or snooping through a book.

Much to his surprise though, when he opened the front door, he saw you there. You were sound asleep, sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall right beside his door. Your head drooped forward, a lollipop stick sticking out of your mouth. Your signature dark, forest green trench coat was draped over yourself like a blanket. “Y/N?” He raised a brow as a lopsided smile drew on his lips seeing you so peacefully there. He kneeled down beside you, gently shaking your shoulder. You slowly awoke, slightly raising your head and blinked a few times. “Hmm? Ah, morning gorgeous.” You chuckled seeing how his cheeks instantly flushed such a bright red. “… You need to wake up. Here-” Helping you to your feet, he led you inside. “Get inside and I’ll make you a drink.”

You sighed, smelling the delectable aroma of coffee brewing, though you were used to the smell since it always lingered in Shuichi’s clothes and on his hair, you never grew tired of or noseblind to the sent. You loved the light thud of the mug against the small wooden table as it was placed before you. The steam that raised up, clouded your vision and tickled your nose was delightful. As you brought the mug to your lips, you spotted the latte art was in the shape of a heart. You were going to say something but stopped, seeing Shuichi was taking a sip from his own drink, clearly trying to mask his blush being that of the heat, not the slight embarrassment and excitement from making that simple design for you. Deciding it was too soon to fluster the poor boy you decided to let it go, instead gently smiling, letting him know the gesture was appreciated.

Propping your elbows on the table, you leaned forward a little getting just a smallest bit closer to your boyfriend who sat across from you. “So, what does the birthday boy want to do today? I know it’s Monday so classes will be on, but we can just skip, it’s not like the school will care or it will effect our grades much.” “Hmm… I haven’t thought much on it actually. I’m just looking forward to being with you today.” “Aw. I’m glad you enjoy my company so much. But I believe we should do something special. Something you like but don’t get to do often, something like that. We could go find some unknown library and snoop through for some obscure novel, you only have so few unread novels left.” “Yeah, that would be nice.” Shuichi looked past you to the wall blocked by tower after tower or cardboard boxes that reached the ceiling, filled to bursting with books. “Honestly, I wouldn’t mind going for a walk in the park, or a lunch date.” “Ah, when I was helping Tanaka search for his lost dog the other day, I heard of this new sushi place that opened up. It’s a little on the expensive side, but from what I gathered it’s well worth the price! Though we’ll have to make sure Hanamura doesn’t find out, you know how he get’s when people go out to eat on school days when he’s in the kitchen.” “Ah, maybe we could ask him to make us something and we have a picnic at the park.” “Great thinking! We can eat after finding a new book!”

“Yeah, but I’d still like to go to class today.” You paused for a moment, taking a sip of your drink. “Really? I know you like studying, but… why not make an exception. We can just ask Kiibo or someone else for notes.” Shuichi glanced over to his bed before getting up and taking the notebooks off of it. “Well. You said you’d be with me all day. I know I take notes for you when your working, but I can’t even remember the last time you even showed up to class. Was it the first day?” Oh, damn it. This was not going as planned. And knowing how altruistic Shuichi was, he was not going to let this go till you went to class for at least half the school day to make sure you were not falling behind on your studies. Shuichi then passed the notebooks to you. “Uh, thanks. But today is your birthday. Let’s celebrate today and I’ll come to class tomorrow.” “… No, I… I’d like to spend my birthday like this. I care about you; I don’t want you to start falling behind. A great gift for me is to just see you’re still doing fine.” How… HOW WERE YOU SUPPOSED TO REFUTE SUCH A KIND SENTIMENT!? “Shuichi… You’re much too kind.” UGH, AND EVEN JUST SEEING HIM SMILING SO TENDERLY WAS MELTING YOUR HEART! HOW DID YOU END UP WITH SUCH AN AMAZING GUY!? But exactly because he was amazing, you had to make his birthday great! “Well, I’ll keep true to my word. If you go to class, I’ll follow you.” “Thank you.”

“After coffee, why don’t we get some breakfast? We have to eat something other than candy you know.” He lightly pointed the treats tucked away in one of the many hidden pockets of your trench coat. “Of course, I know! I only go for the sugar rush when I can’t get any good caffeine.” you said as you took out a box of pocky, munching away on the chocolate covered sticks. Shuichi simply stared at you. “… Sometimes!” “Let’s get an actual meal, Y/N.” “But! Before that… Wanna play a game?” For a moment Shuichi wondered what kind of game you had in mind before noticed how you simply held one end of a pocky stick between your teeth. “O-OH! Uh-umm…” You stood up, playfully ruffling Shuichi’s hair before making your way for the door. You stopped, seeing he wasn’t moving. “How come you’re still sitting there? I thought we were going to get breakfast.” Shuichi quickly followed after you, thinking about how to get you back for always making him blush so much from your light teasing and compliments.

Hand in hand you walked towards the school. The chilly wind picked up the red, orange, and yellow leaves tossing a splash of warm color into the cool, cloudy sky, a tinge of pink dusting both of your cheeks. Though you had been dating for a little over a year now, holding hands still sent your hearts a flutter. Both of you though it was a little silly, but you loved it all the same. As the pair of you were discussing about what to have for breakfast, Kaede came charging towards you two, calling out your name. “Akamatsu, is something wrong?” “Yeah! Someone stole the grand piano from my lab!” “… You… what? The grand piano, was stolen?” “Y/N, please, I need your help finding it.” You glanced to Shuichi sheepishly. “Y/N, it’s fine. Let’s go investigate.” “Really, you sure?” “Yes.”

Just as Akamatsu said, the piano was stolen. The small stage in the middle of the room looked rather empty without it. You kneeled down getting a closer look at the stage. “I don’t see any scuff marks, so it doesn’t appear it was forcefully pushed around at any point.” Shuichi ran a hand along the door frame. “I don’t see anything odd here. Akamatsu, when was the last time you saw your piano?” “Last night, right before the school was closed. I was practicing as usual, then the closing bell rang, and I left for my dorm to sleep for the night.” As Shuichi questioned Kaede you quickly fiddled with your phone, checking if any of your classmates had seen it. Shuichi paced over to your side. “The only time someone could have taken it was last night, after the school was closed.” “Hmm, some are still texting back but it seems no one’s seen it, at least as of yet.” “Hey, normally only staff is allowed after school, right?” “… Yeah, you think of something?” “Students can get into the school if they’re injured, to get to the nurse’s office, so it’s possible someone used that as an excuse to get into the school.” True, true.” “But… why would someone steal a grand piano in the first place?” “True. If we knew the motivation, it could be a clue as to where it could have gone.” “Akamatsu, was there anything special or different about the piano?” She crossed her arms and closed here eyes, thinking for a moment. “It’s not the piano itself but Oma threatened to place a prank in the piano for stopping one of his pranks the other day.” Taking a quick glance around the pair of you realized there were no clues to be found, the only lead you had was that statement.

Holding hands, fingers intertwined the pair of you went searching. Kokichi had yet to text back so you doubted he’d respond if you had asked where he currently was. At best he was only slightly cooperative, so you didn’t expect much. Since it was still the morning, the pair of you decided to see if you could catch him at the cafeteria. “Saihara, my favorite barista! Where have you been all morning?” The chef stopped waving from his open window before smirking, his eyes landing on you. “Oh- Y/N, I see. Don’t mind me, you two have fun now.” “Hanamura! Actually, we’d like to talk with you.” Shuichi eagerly dragged you over to Teruteru who looked a bit more smug than usual. You immediately grew worried he had something planned. “Have you seen Oma this morning?” “Why in fact, I have. He was with Gokuhara speaking about something. Going to a park I think?” That took you by surprise. “A park?” “What was it again?... Oh after breakfast they were planning to go to Showa Memorial Park.” “… You have got to be kidding me. The largest park in Tokyo, one-million six-hundred fifty-three thousand square meters.” Initially you were shocked but thinking on it… “That’s actually smart. Not only is the place massive there are also museums and sports facilities, there’s endless places to hide, likely taking us all day to find him, assuming he even bothers to stay in the park and not leave before we can find him.” “It’s also at the edge of Tokyo, it will take a while to even get there.” The pair of you looked to one another understanding the case would come to a standstill if you didn’t go there to search. “A date at the park sounds like a lovely idea! Wait right here a moment you two.” Before Shuichi would protest, Teruteru already ducked back into the kitchen. Quickly Teruteru was already back with a hand basket full of food in plastic containers. “Now off with you two. Make sure you have lots of fun now! Maybe Y/N will have a surprise for you tonight, Saihara.” You quickly dragged Shuichi away before Teruteru could make more obvious implications.

After a rather short train ride the pair of you were at the park. Even just standing at the entrance of the place one could see just how gorgeous it was. The ginkgo and maple trees were absolutely covered in those fiery leaves as well as the ground. The wind picked up, the sounds of chimes and rustling in the air rang out. The greenery was still lush, making the place look so lively. Shuichi could not believe you were looking at your phone instead of that view. Wait… “Y/N? Why are you on your phone? We’re investigating.” “Oh, I was seeing if I could contact Oma.” You quickly switched off your phone and slipped it into your pocket. “He still hasn’t responded since I asked about the piano. So, now we’ll just have to search this entire giant place.”

And so, the pair of you walked around, taking in the never-ending gorgeous sights. “… Maybe we should come here for a proper date some time. It’s gorgeous.” Shuichi glanced over to you, loving the aw in your eyes. “… It is… but not as gorgeous as you.” “Shuichi, that is the most clichéd line I have ever heard.” You gently shook your head while smiling. “It may be clichéd, but it’s true. To me, at least. I love you.” Your cheeks flushed hearing those worlds. “Sh-shush! We have an investigation to be working on.” “I love you.” He kept saying those words over and over, pulling himself closer to you. He himself was blushing, but seeing you so happily flustered from his tender words made it impossible for him to stop. “T-this is payback for earlier, isn’t it!” “… Maybe.” “Damn it, Shuichi!” “I love you.” You melted hearing how softly he said those words. “Lunch break!” “Huh?” “We need a lunch break!” You quickly dragged Shuichi off the path and onto the grassy area, making sure you were leading the way as to make some distance between the two of you, and to hide your blush. You needed a moment to cool off from Shuichi’s sweet antics. “Tch. It’s no wonder I have a sweet tooth, I have the sweetest boyfriend ever. How could I not develop a taste for the stuff.” Though you were mumbling to yourself Shuichi still caught your words, feeling his heart beat just a bit faster at the sentiment behind them.

The pair of you sat by a lake and a field of bright blue, purple, white, and pink flowers. Teruteru was Shuichi’s friend so he didn’t think the chef would lace the food with anything, but what Teru said lingered in the barista’s mind. He also found how quickly the food was prepared to be suspicious, there was even a small blanket and some utensils in the basket as if Teru had prepared this ahead of time. Perhaps his birthday gift to Shuichi was going to be setting him and you up on a picnic date? “Hey, Shuichi.” “Huh!?” He was suddenly snapped from his thoughts hearing your voice and feeling you lean your head on his shoulder. “Think it’s possible Gokuhara and Oma are out on the lake?” “Oh, there are rental boats over there… I think. It’s a bit hard to see.” “Let’s go check it out after this.” “Sure.” For a while after the pair of you simply lay atop the blanket, watching the clouds roll by occasionally snacking on one of your treats.

“It’s a bit wobbly, but you’ll be fine.” You stood on the boat, your arms outstretched for Shuichi, who nervously inched towards the boat, fearing toppling it over and sending you both into the giant lake. It wasn’t like either of you had a change of clothes. “Don’t worry, just hop on.” He held your hands with a viper like grip as you gently pulled him aboard. “See, we’re fine.” “… Yeah, we are. Sorry, for taking so long.” “It’s okay. Just enjoy yourself now that we’re here.” You both promptly sat down, you taking the oars. You rowed and rowed letting Shuichi take in the breath-taking sights. “Oh, actually I think now would be a good time to give you my gift.” “A birthday gift, for me?” “Don’t look so surprised.” You guiltily shrank in your seat a little, looking off to the side. “I knew it was likely I’d get caught up in some mess and not give you my original gift of staying with you all day, so I got you something to make up for that.” You searched through one of your inner coat pockets, taking out a rather large and thick book. There was no title on the front or back. Everything was blank except for the first few pages. The tops of these pages were labeled ‘Tokyo adventures’ Most of it was writings of others about adventures they had with Shuichi in Tokyo, there were even some pictures. “I know you have in interest in travel, so I thought I’d make you a travel journal. I know most others are probably going to get you something related to novels or coffee and I wanted to get you something more… personal? Something others don’t really know about you. I hope it’s okay.” Shuichi gently ran a hand over the cover before placing it in his lap. Then before you knew it, he was hugging you, burying his face into the crook of your neck. “Thank you, Y/N. I love it.” You leaned your head on his kind of hugging him back without actually doing so, fearing letting go of the oars and said oars sinking into the depths of the lake that lay below, leaving you two stranded out on the lake’s surface never to be found again.

The rest of the day was spent, continuing the search for Oma. You ran through trees, surveyed the lake, searched the museum, watched the flower beds, strolled through the bird sanctuary. The whole time Shuichi clutched that book in his arms, not letting it go for anything. It seemed so sudden when the sun set. You and Shuichi were walking under the cover of trees. “You’re awfully smiley Shuichi.” “Ah, w-well… I did enjoy myself today. I just wish we could have found Akamatsu’s piano.” “It’s entirely possibly she found it while we were out here. I’ll check with her.” You whipped out your phone, quickly blipping about on it. It was then a rather lovely tune began to play. It was one Shuichi recognized. It was a piano piece Kaede had showed him once. A very upbeat and happy song. Though it was an older song, and the names of songs like that tended to be very… “Piano! Y/N, the piano!” “Hmm?” Absorbed by hearing the instrument, Shuichi missed the small smirk that tugged on your lips. “I hear it over there!” Shuichi dragged you along as he raced towards it. Not far in the distance he could see lights flickering on, and a small crowd of people forming near a fountain. As he drew closer and closer, he saw the grand piano and- “Kaede!? Wait- everyone!?” All his friends and classmates were there, Kaede happily tapping away on the keys of the piano. They all screamed variations of ‘happy birthday’ as you and he burst from the wooded path. “I knew something was suspicious! It was clear the piano was not forced from the room so only someone who had knowledge of pianos could dismantle it and take it from the room. And Hanamura having a meal prepared for us! And how you were so relaxed all day despite investigating! You had this all planned!” You looked to the group. “Almost. I had the idea of throwing you a party, but Kaede was supposed to text me when the preparations in the classroom were ready. And I didn’t know Oma was going to lead us here.” As she spoke, Kaede kept playing. “Well, you two so rarely go out on proper dates we thought we’d alter Y/N’s plan a little so you could have just that! A present from all of us, aside from the other presents we got you.”

The evening was spent opening gifts, then sharing food and laughs. Though the party was celebrating him, Shuichi wound up brewing and serving coffee, he found making conversation was much easier when doing so. Unfortunately, there was a mistake and Gonta got decaffeinated beans, so no one was able to stay up all night. Not that it mattered since the park was closing soon.

You ended up falling asleep on the train ride back to Hope’s Peak. Shuichi pulled you close, nervously planting a kiss atop your head before taking out a pencil and writing about his day in his adventure journal. He also wrote of a dream of future adventures, a hope of traveling around the world, helping you solve cases with his detective skills and brewing coffee to keep you going… as your husband.

[thoughtsfromthevoid]

Things my parents have said and done that terrify me (I have anxiety and depression, ADHD and currently have tics ((Or a Tourettes diagnosis they don't believe in)) from being so anxious all the time)-

-That if I keep coming home late (normally like 5-10ish minutes because traffic) I won't be allowed to go out at all. (I'm not even the one driving, and my friend(s) aren't doing anything to keep me out past that time.)

-"You're only the 357 thousandth teenager to pull the 'I'm down' all the time, its not going to change anything. Drama is drama." (Said because I've been severely depressed lately and not reacting to things like normal.)

-"There was a miscommunication between us (mom and dad) on what you're allowed to do at night." (Had to have me stop for a bit until I got on tic meds, it was very bad. Doctor told us to. I had been doing after school things and been on the meds for 2 weeks at that point)

- "Don't manipulate me into saying yes to things." (Accidentally said friends and I were going through the drive through at wrong restaurant which they wouldn't have said yes to)

-"Don't wake me up if the house is on fire." (Said not to me, but to other parent, out of frustration of being startled awake because they don't sleep well)

-Some more things I won't say on the internet

-Disagreed with my tourettes diagnosis so strongly because they didn't see the tics I referred to happening in the past and since they notice everything, it makes this invalid.

-Also said I don't have tics like others with tourettes and that they don't say random things and is more repeated and that I don't do that when I definitely do, said a wrong definition as well, even after research

-This morning I wasn't apparently allowed to talk when coming into the living room bc it didn't need to be said to them while cooking, not allowed to go in the kitchen at ALL during this time either

-Said every child who doesn't have to do the same amount of chores as me was a spoiled brat or had a ton of siblings when I was struggling with chores and schoolwork for a bit

-Constantly talks negatively about me behind my back to other parent thinking I can't hear when 90% of the time, I can, instead of having a conversation with me about it, its always me being in trouble. Also never sees my improvements and only the failures, it doesn't matter if im working to fix something until it's fixed

-Their autism being used as an excuse constantly as 'it just is this way' and whatever they saying always having to be the truth, even when it isn't. Its not the autism thats the problem, its the constant excuses because of it and toxic mindset and unwillingness to listen. They aren't the only neurodivergant one, I have ADHD. I struggle too. This doesn't seem to matter

-Getting upset when I talk too much and wanting me to be quiet, not wanting to know any of the details when im excited, even when its harmless, the overall frustration of it and wanting me to stop talking so often

-This is normally in effect especially when they are watching stupid (and passable) mindless tv, that I'm constantly triggered by. I constantly have to close my room door to not hear it while doing things like homework, is still always too loud, this is every day after school in the living room, or every weekend. I cant be in that room anymore basically because of it. They get frustrated when asked to pause it quite often, or when I ask for space when doing chores out there, because I hate them looming over me all the time, the TV also makes an unbearable noise for me recently as it is going to die soon of overuse, every time it is on, which stops me from watching basically anything out there or being in the room too long

-Not feeling comfortable enough to practice when parents are home because of looming, coming in while practicing when its not necessary, getting mad when i play things wrong and yelling across the house about it

-my room is my only space, one parent claims entire basement and sometimes I'm not allowed down there at all, even sometimes when I had to sleep down there to feel safe (unrelated issue but still) other parent has living room

-"I dont understand the want/need to go over there." Me asking to go to a friends house after school, everything needed to be done was done, after a really hard day and me feeling trapped in the house. Apparently I need a reason to go and hang out with friends. I do not feel safe going for walks or anything for other known reasons.

-Getting frustrated with my chair placement every concert in orchestra, never proud of me for anything like that either. (Or at least expressed to me) Makes me feel worse and worthless, to the point where I am considering quitting even though I love the instrument, the anxiety and depression now caused by these issues and pressures being put on me over the years is becoming unbearable. Pressure and anxiety lead to me quitting and hating piano after 8 years as well.

I'm really sick of being in trouble for things I can't control, or something I didn't do intentionally. If it was on purpose? Yeah, I get it. If it was something bad? Sure. I never do anything I think is bad, or know I'll get in trouble for. I don't want to be in trouble. I hate it. It makes me feel very afraid. I wish they would trust me more. I know my mental health is bad, but I'm not actively trying to do things wrong, and I do actively try to fix my mistakes. I wish they would really listen when I tell them these things, even be a little more lenient. I wish I was good enough, I really do try. I love my parents so much, they can be so very much amazing, but they can be toxic to me too. Even if the intent isn't there, it still is harmful. It makes me feel mentally unsafe in this household. I don't know whats going to be taken away at any moment. At least I feel that way. I want to move out. I really do.

[overthinkingkdrama]

What's your top 10 all-time favourite korean dramas? :)

I don’t know what it is about “top 10″ that makes it so difficult. Top 20 would be easier. Top 5 would also be easier. Trying to figure out the order that these went in caused me more anxiety than I feel they should have, lol. My top 10 shuffles about 3 times a year, but usually consists of the same basic titles. Please keep in mind, that my “favorite” dramas of all time and the dramas I think are objectively the “best” I’ve seen have some overlap but are not necessarily the same thing.

As of September the 5th 2019 at...*looks at watch* 5:21pm in ascending order my top 10 dramas are:

10. Queen In Hyun’s Man

This is probably the single drama I’ve rewatched the most. It’s also a killer gateway drug if you’re looking to start a friend on dramas. The 45 minute episodes make it extra binge-able. There a few plot missteps and the historical plot isn’t always the most engaging aspect of the drama. However, this time-travel romance hinges a very cute central couple and a hyper-competent male lead who is very easy to root for. It also has, IMO, one of the all time great finales in Kdramas. A rare commodity.

9. Go Back Couple

I have a certain weakness for stories about estranged couples falling back in love, and this drama (which is a fairly recent entrant into the top 10) does it better than most. I think it’s the way it takes two mature characters with a lot of--often painful--history together and puts them back in a time when a few choices could have made them into very different people. I think more than anything the themes of forgiveness, self-acceptance and maturity are what made this drama truly exceptional. Also, if a drama manages to make me both ugly cry on more than one occasion as well as burst into fits of hysterical laughter I feel like it’s bested me and my stony heart and that should be acknowledged. Well played, show.

8. Coffee Prince

There’s a reason that virtually all cross-dressing romances get compared (usually unfavorably) to Coffee Prince. This drama does practically everything right from giving us a female lead who could be plausibly taken for a male to addressing questions sexuality in a (for that time and even now) daring and revolutionary manner, it’s just an exceptional show and incredibly well and thoughtfully written. The only reason that it isn’t higher on the list is because I personally don’t really care for much of the secondary couple’s arc.

7. Secret Love Affair

This drama may be divisive largely because of the themes of adultery and, for certain folks, the age gap between the leads. I don’t blame anyone for not enjoying those themes, or if they felt the drama was somewhat slow or austere. For me this is nearly a pitch perfect handling of the subject matter with a cinematic quality and intensity that is hard to find in any television, nonetheless Kdramas. The last 3-4 slots on this list tend to rotate quite a bit. For the time being piano-sex-drama wins it’s place.

6. School 2013

The fact that this drama has remained one of my uncontested favorites through the years, despite my growing aversion to high school dramas says something. It goes beyond Lee Jong Suk and Kim Woo Bin’s thugs-in-love. I cared about virtually every member of this cast, the adults and the kids. The drama just has a lot of heart, and doesn’t shy away from difficult subject matter. And yes, it’s very very gay.

5. Scarlet Heart Ryeo

There was a time when I was too self-conscious to put this drama in my top 10, and I’ve realized since then that that’s silly. Yeah, it’s super tragic. Yes, it’s even problematic is some regards. But no drama that has occupied so many of my thoughts, so many words of fan fiction, so many tears, so many meta posts and girlish meltdowns when the leads so much as talk to each other even 3 years on should rank any lower than my top five. I am and probably always will be emotionally compromised SHR trash.

4. The Master's Sun

Of my flawed favorites, this one might be one of the cheesiest and most flawed. But I just love ghosts and love stories with ghosts in them. I love silly cheesy Kdrama romcoms that turn into angsty melos half way through. Gong Hyo Jin and So Ji Sub could have sold this show to me on comedy and chemistry alone. They are OTP goals. Even if the drama is about one episode too long and there’s a bunch of stuff about the fantasy that doesn’t make any sense, I’m not even sorry. I love this damn show.

3. Reply 1988

This drama basically singlehandedly set off all my love for Korean 80′s nostalgia, slice-of-life dramas, and a whole slew of actors I will follow until I die. I’ve recently rewatched this, and even though I loved it when I first watched it I love, and furthermore respect the writing in this drama even more now. It’s just so exceptional in so many aspects. I think the biggest part being the character development and the subtlety and care that went into every single one of the character relationships that grew throughout the show. More than being romantic, it’s just such a good show about family.

2. Hello Monster

Pretty much from the first time I watched it, which was as it was airing, until this last year Hello Monster aka I Remember You was my undisputed favorite drama. It includes so many of my favorite elements. It’s a really compelling murder mystery, it boasts a whole bunch of my favorite actors giving incredible performances, it executed admirably on themes of abuse and trauma and psychopathy. The only thing that has ever really come close to pushing the same types of buttons is The Smile Has Left Your Eyes also starring Seo In Guk. But...Idk, I’m much more aware of it’s flaws now that I’ve watched thousands more episodes of dramas and seen it like 3+ times, but I still love it to death. Hehe

1. My Mister

I’ve written a review and several pieces of meta about My Mister already. So I’d direct you to check out those reviews if you’re interested in why exactly this drama is so good. I don’t want to belabor the point I’ve already made better elsewhere. But I will say, I had no expectations for this drama going in and I was surprised as hell that it grabbed me the way it did. Surprised and grateful. This drama is about as close to perfect as you’re likely to find. It delivers on every element of story, and I cannot recommend it highly enough. The biggest tragedy right now is that DramaFever no longer exists, because thinking about this list I want to watch it again right this moment. [UPDATE from 2020: it’s on Viki and Netflix now! Happy watching!]

What are your top 10 favorite dramas? I’d love to hear them. Plus always looking for good recs. I hope you enjoyed my list.

Jona

[tsuki-chibi]

Passionfruit (Novembr) Day 11: Headphone

Read the whole story on AO3: Passionfruit

————

“I still can’t believe I thought Chloé was Ladybug,” Alya said glumly.

Adrien tried not to visibly wince as he turned around just in time to see the look on Marinette’s face. She didn’t say anything, but her face - and her thoughts - spoke volumes. Alya being akumatized had been interesting, to say the least. In her determination to prove that Chloé was Ladybug, Hawkmoth had reached out to Alya to give her the power to try and figure Ladybug’s identity out. Lady WiFi had come too close for comfort.

“Someone like Chloé could never be Ladybug,” Adrien said, trying to send calming waves towards Marinette.

“Yeah, Ladybug is way too sweet and kind for that,” Nino said.

Marinette flushed, but some of her ire drained away to the point where she playfully nudged Alya in the ribs. “Besides, I think if Chloé were Ladybug, that’s a secret you’re best left keeping quiet about.”

“Right? Especially after that stunt she pulled with Juleka,” Alya huffed.

Adrien frowned at that. Yeah, that hadn’t been Chloé’s best moment. She’d gotten completely caught up in herself and what she wanted... which was pretty par for the course for Chloé, but Adrien was still disappointed in her because she’d been doing pretty good for the past couple of weeks. He hadn’t spoken to her since Juleka had been akumatized; Chloé knew damn well he was waiting for her to apologize to Juleka.

“We have more important things to talk about than Chloé,” Nino declared.

“Like what?” Marinette asked.

“Like my man’s birthday!” Nino said excitedly, hugging Adrien around the shoulders. “And the raging party we’re gonna have!”

“Nino, don’t get carried away. My dad didn’t say yes, and it’s unlikely that he will,” Adrien said. The bell rang and he got up, already thinking about his busy afternoon: he had fencing practice, then piano practice, dinner, and a late photo shoot. He said his good-byes and headed for the door.

“Make sure you ask!” Nino called after him as Adrien left the classroom.

‘Do you think there’s any chance your dad will say yes?’ Marinette thought as Adrien walked to the locker room to change.

‘Nope,’ Adrien thought with a quiet, bitter laugh. ‘I’ve never had a birthday party before. I wish I could’ve seen what Nino had planned... but I know my dad. He’s fundamentally incapable of doing anything fun.’

‘Your father sucks so hard,’ Marinette thought.

‘Tell me about,’ Adrien thought, sighing.

His prediction turned out to be accurate. Adrien was completely exhausted by the time he made it home to the mansion that night. The only bright, shining spot in the whole afternoon had been Marinette’s comforting presence. Tedious photo shoots were always made better when her soothing voice was in his head. Sometimes she’d read to him, or share funny things she found online, or they’d hash out the night’s homework together. She was always a welcome distraction.

He collapsed into bed and fell asleep pretty much immediately. Morning came far too early, and Adrien groaned as his alarm went off and he rolled over to half-heartedly swat at it. He stared at the ceiling for a moment. He could tell that Marinette was still sleeping; her presence was a low hum in the back of his mind, heavy with the kind of contentment that comes from an exhausted teenager finally getting to rest.

“Happy birthday, Adrien!” Plagg exclaimed, suddenly appearing over Adrien’s face.

“Thanks, Plagg,” Adrien said with a tired smile. “I wish I could say it was going to be a good one.”

“I have something that will make it better,” Plagg said.

Adrien eyed him warily. “It’s not cheese, is it?”

“Well, of course cheese makes everything better, but I’ve come to realize you humans don’t appreciate such delicacies the way you should,” Plagg said. “So no. It’s something else!”

He rose up in the air and started waving his paws around. Adrien sat up and watched him in puzzlement, eyebrows furrowed. He was completely unprepared for Plagg to suddenly rear back and hawk something right into Adrien’s lap. The whatever it was landed in a soggy green pool of spit. Adrien stared at it in dumbstruck horror.

“Miraculous birthday,” Plagg declared, looking at Adrien expectantly.

“Uhhhhh....” Adrien said. Years of decorum training prevented him from reacting the way he wanted to, which was a horrified shriek and a vault into the bathroom to shower. He sat there in silence, mouth open uselessly.

Plagg sighed explosively. “It’s a kwagatama,” he said, like Adrien was the one who was being weird. “It’s a symbol of friendship between kwami and their holders.”

“Friendship?” Adrien repeated, softening. The green saliva was magically vanishing, revealing what looked like the black half of a yin and yang symbol. When he gingerly touched it, he realized that it was soft and smooth to the touch. Like a polished stone.

“Making one is a lot of work. You should give me cheese as a thank you,” Plagg said.

“I will. Lots of cheese.” Adrien clasped the kwagatama in his hands and smiled. “Thank you, Plagg. I love it.”

“Whatever,” Plagg muttered, but it didn’t escape Adrien’s notice that Plagg looked incredibly pleased.

He didn’t have any cord, so he sent a text to Marinette and then got up to get dressed while Plagg devoured half a wheel of Camembert. He put the kwagatama in his pocket for now as he left his room, backpack slung over his shoulder. He headed down to an empty dining room to eat breakfast alone, as per usual. Of course, it was too much to ask that his father join him for his birthday breakfast.

Nathalie entered just as he was beginning and said, “Your schedule today.”

“Thanks. Say, did my father get back to you about my party?” Adrien asked, taking the tablet. He read the answer in Nathalie’s face before she even opened her mouth.

“He doesn’t think it would be a good idea,” Nathalie said. “Happy Birthday, Adrien.” She nodded at him and left.

Adrien sighed, hanging his head, and pushed his plate away. Suddenly, he lacked an appetite. He stood and wandered out to the car, where his bodyguard drove him to school. His stomach twisted when he saw that Nino was standing right there at the front gates, waiting for him. The thought of disappointing his friend hurt.

‘Happy birthday, Chaton!’ Marinette thought suddenly.

‘Thanks, My Lady. Just woke up, huh?’ Adrien thought, a small smile coming to his face.

‘Yup. Saw your text. What’s a kwagatama?’ she thought.

Rather than answer, Adrien pushed the memory of what had happened that morning towards her as he got out of the car. Nino rushed over to him, eyes lit up - only for his face to fall when Adrien glumly shook his head.

“Dude, seriously? Your dad sucks,” Nino said, disappointed.

“Tell me about it,” Adrien said, slamming the car door. They walked through the gates together.

“Can’t you like... insist?” Nino suggested. “Tell him he needs to be fair?”

Adrien scoffed. “Honestly, I’m not sure my dad even knows what fair means,” he replied.

‘Oh my god,’ Marinette thought at the same time. She was laughing. ‘Oh, Adrien. That’s disgusting.’

‘It was so gross,’ Adrien thought back.

“At least you can smile, I guess,” Nino said, looking at Adrien.

“Uh, sure,” Adrien said. He was smiling because of Marinette, but of course Nino didn’t know that.

Nino sighed and took a bottle of bubble solution out of his back. Adrien watched curiously as he twisted off the top and started blowing bubbles. He’d seen people blow bubbles before, of course, but it was never something he’d had the chance to do himself. Nino was so good at it, creating a perfect bubble with every try.

“What?” Nino asked, eventually noticing the attention.

“Could I try?” Adrien asked.

“Sure,” Nino said, surrendering the wand.

“Like this?” Adrien pursed his lips and blew, splattering the bubble solution all over the place. Nino laughed.

“Gently, Dude. Not so hard,” he said.

Adrien obeyed and beamed as a bubble formed on the end of the wand, slowly breaking off. He watched it float through the air until it finally landed on the ground and burst. But that was okay, because he could just blow another one. He did so, dipping the wand back in the solution and then carefully blowing several more.

“So what’s up with you and Alya?” he asked finally.

Nino reddened. “No clue what you mean.”

“Well, you’re soulmates,” Adrien said. “So...” He already knew from Marinette that Nino and Alya were keeping their bond firmly closed for the time being. He couldn’t imagine what that would be like. Having Marinette as a part of him was the best thing thing that had ever happened to Adrien.

‘You sweetheart,’ Marinette thought fondly.

“I dunno. It’s... weird,” Nino said, not quite looking at Adrien. “I don’t even know her.”

“Maybe you should try spending time with her. Alya’s pretty cool,” Adrien said.

Nino frowned. “Since when do you know Alya?”

“Just what Marinette’s told me,” Adrien said quickly. He knew Alya because Marinette knew Alya, and Adrien knew what Marinette did - but of course, he couldn’t tell Nino that.

“Maybe,” Nino muttered, shrugging and toying with his headphones. “She hasn’t exactly acted like she wants to spend time with me, so...”

‘Alya says the same thing about Nino,’ Marinette thought.

“I bet Alya feels the same way,” Adrien said.

Nino just shrugged again, and Adrien took the hint. Luckily, he had the perfect distraction. Marinette ran through the gates at that moment. He handed the bubble solution and wand back to Nino and hurried over to meet her. She threw her arms around him in an exuberant hug.

“Happy birthday, Adrien!” she cried.

“Thanks,” Adrien said.

“Here.” Marinette untangled herself and reached into her bag, producing a box. “This is for you.”

Adrien’s eyes widened. “You got me a present?!”

She grinned. “Of course!”

‘I’ve been working on it at night while you were asleep,’ she added mentally, her eyes twinkling. ‘And it’s been taking sooooo much effort not to think about it when you were awake.’

“Marinette...” Adrien was so touched he could barely speak.

“Open it,” she said, laying a hand on his arm.

He obeyed, pulling the wrapping off and opening the box. His eyes widened when he saw the handmade, knitted blue scarf carefully arranged inside. It was made of a material so soft that Adrien immediately wanted to buy several bolts of it just so that he could curl up and sleep on it. Marinette giggled at that and picked the scarf up, gently draping it around his neck.

‘Happy birthday, mon minou,’ she thought, and kissed his cheek.

So overwhelmed that he couldn’t speak, much less form thoughts, all Adrien could do was pull her into another hug. He gathered all of his feelings and pushed them at her, gratitude, affection, shock and bittersweet pain all wrapped into one. Marinette instantly wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him as tightly as she could.

[fromcrossroadstoking]

Winters and the Problem of Quiet Days

Part 5 of Welcome to the 5061st. Part 5! That means we`re halfway through guys!

Tags: @gottapenny @itisjustmethistime @indigosandviolets @scarecrowmax 

-----------------------------

July 22nd, 1400

If there`s one truth that every head of a MASH unit knows it`s this; a bored MASH unit is a dangerous MASH unit.

MASH units are like powder kegs. Steeped in trauma, disease, and death day in and day out. Surrounded by war. An ocean away from home. Under constant pressure to save the lives of begging, pleading, scared soldiers. The tension was bound to boil over. Especially when almost everyone was a draftee.

It had been a lesson that Colonel Dick Winters had learned the hard way. 

Tension, fear, loneliness - it could be pushed to the side when there was work to be done. But on those quiet days? The days when the wounded weren't flooding in? All those terrible thoughts and emotions were front and center.

When Winters had first taken over the 5061st, he hadn't given the quiet days any thought. But it soon became obvious that quiet days meant drinking. And fighting. Fooling around. Excessive gambling. Rioting. 

Oh yes, and he would never forget when they started a bonfire. Using all the furniture that wasn't nailed down.

Or when Sisk tried to jump from the roof using sheets as a parachute, nearly breaking his leg in the process.

Or when Liebgott and Grant took an ambulance for a joy ride and drove it straight in to a ditch.

Then there was the time someone (or several someones) dyed everyone`s clothes pink.

Of course, there was also the incident where everyone`s shoes were mysteriously filled with applesauce.

And then there were the boxing matches which resulted in far more injuries than he cared for.

There were a couple hundred other examples of what happens when the 5061st gets bored and Winters had made ti his mission to keep that number from getting much larger. He entertained them the best he could.

First it was the Officer`s Club he had built on base, which ended up being less of an Officer`s Club and more of an Everyone`s Club. And then there the movie nights. Unfortunately, it tended to be the same movie over and over and over again. Organized baseball games and races were popular for awhile. Picnics and homemade carnival games provided a nice distraction for a bit. Calisthenics were deeply unpopular (again, they were mostly draftees). He had even let them adopt a mascot - a goat named Radar, so named because he seemed to know before everyone else that choppers were coming and would start bleating frantically. And while Radar was universally adored by everyone, it appeared it was time for something new again. 

Winters had already broken up three fights, had MPs escort four drunken individuals back to base from the local bar, mediated six arguments, and treated two medics who were injured when their homemade still exploded.

The 5061st was getting bored.

July 22nd, 1405

Trying to find something new to entertain the 5061st was not an easy task. After all, they were in the middle of Korea and there was a war going on.

Winters sat at his desk, leaning his head in one hand, while rhythmically tapping the pile of papers in front of him with his pencil.

He had nothing.

"Luz!"

The clerk appeared immediately from the front room, "Yes, sir?"

"Get me Nixon on the line."

"You got it sir!"

July 22nd, 1408

"I could let them get another pet."

"Dick, they've already got a goat. Plus you've let Luz keep how many animals now?"

"Just a bunny. And a turtle. And a hamster."

"You're going to be running a petting zoo, not a hospital, soon."

Winters sighed, "Yeah, well, I don`t know what else to do. They're starting to get nuts again. Heffron got his hand stuck in a jar trying to see how small of a jar he could fit it in to. People were placing bets."

"You're shitting me!" Nixon`s sudden bark of laughter filled the line, "Who won the bet?"

"Nix... "

"Alright, alright. You need something new, huh? Hmmm... "

There was silence for a moment as the two men tried to come up with something.

"Dick! I've got it! Have a variety show!"

"A variety show?"

"Yeah, you know, let everyone sign up and show off a talent of theirs. They'll be too busy practicing for the big night to go around getting their hands stuck in jars."

And that was how the first ever 5061st variety show came to be.

July 29th, 1200

Winters had to give it to Nixon, the variety show was a fantastic idea. The entire MASH was abuzz with excitement for it and many of them had signed up for the show right away. Even Father Powers signed up - apparently he was quite talented with the harmonica.

The show was only a few days away now and Winters could only silently pray that it would be a success.

August 1st, 1900

A small stage had been constructed out of scrap wood and crates. A banner reading "1st Annual 5061st Variety Show" had been hung. Chairs were arranged, snacks laid out, and people were taking their seats. Winters cleared his throat and made a quick welcome before handing over the show`s reigns to the emcee for the night, Babe Heffron.

Babe made a surprisingly good emcee. He kept everything moving, told a few jokes of his own, and kept the energy high between acts. The acts themselves were... interesting. Some were very good and some, well, not so much.

Spina could not sing for the life of him but, oh, did he try.

Father Powers' harmonica skills were actually quite impressive.

Luz`s impersonations were, as usual, spot on. Although some of his jokes might have crossed a line or two (thankfully no higher ups were in attendance).

Talbert played a few songs on his guitar while everyone sang along.

Speirs performed a few magic tricks (Winters would have never in a million years guessed Speirs was an amateur magician).

Grant played the piano beautifully (another surprise).

Christenson made up some hilarious, yet very dirty, poetry.

All in all, there were about thirty acts and the night went even better than Winters could have ever hoped for. The entire 5061st seemed energized by the bit of fun and the mood of the whole camp felt lifted. Of course, Winters knew it wouldn't last. Walking back to his tent that night, the wheels in his head were already turning, trying to think of what to do next.

Maybe a basketball tournament.Or maybe I could find a way to get a pool. Or an obstacle course.

Letting out a yawn, he laid down on his bed and figured it was a problem he could solve in the morning. After all, they couldn't get bored that quickly.

Could they?

[angrylizardjacket]

take me to your heart

Summary: Lola's never had a proper Christmas, and after this one, she still hasn't, but Tommy's a surprisingly good gift giver. Set during the tour with Roxie, but well after she's departed.

A/N: Written on my phone, v Christmas. Warning: Lola n Nikki give each other dirty gifts but the fic is sfw. Tommy-centric. Also idk if he's genuinely greek orthodox, he might not be idk

[run to paradise]

----

"Sharise wants to do something for Christmas," Vince sighs, his heels resting on the table of the tour bus. Lola, at least, looks up from her magazine with a frown, though she seems to be the only one paying attention.

"She's in LA."

"We'll be in Phoenix by then, its not that long of a flight," Vince answers quickly, and Lola goes back to her magazine. "I don't know what to get her."

"A six-pack and edible panties," comes Nikki's answer, half distracted where he was trying to write lyrics. Vince's expression, however, wrinkles.

"Have you ever bought a present for a lady who wasn't Lola?" He snaps, crossing his arms, and though he can't see Lola's amused expression, he hears her snort of laughter.

"Yes," Nikki responds flatly, finally looking up, "but incase you haven't noticed," he gestured around to the bus, which was filled only with the band, as well as Doc and Lola, "none of them are still here."

"That's correlation, man, not causation -"

"You know what? Fuck your five dollar words, man, I was trying to help." Nikki snapped, picking up his notebook in a huff and heading to the back of the bus. Silence fills the air, Vince sulking a little, Tommy just looking between Lola and Vince. Mick, who was trying to nap, sighs deeply and shifts in his uncomfortable seat.

"Is that all you've ever gotten for Christmas?" Tommy asks and Lola's response is surprisingly honest.

"Zero expectationsl, zero disappointments; drink, eat, fuck, like any other day." She does give pause there, the magazine rustling as her grip tightens just a little, and when she lowers it, there's amusement in her eyes. "Also, grape is the best flavour."

"What?"

"For edible panties."

"You guys are absolutely no help." Vince declares. Mick just laughs at that.

Lola's never been too bothered by not having a proper Christmas, she and Nikki live a pretty secular life when they weren't dabbling in Satanism, and the others were usually too busy doing their own things around the holidays to notice the pair's lack of any sort of traditions. Usually they'll buy each other booze, or some sort of joke present, but its never been a particularly sentimental time for Lola, not that anyone had really noticed her apathy enough to care.

Until now.

The holidays have always been a sentimental time for Tommy, and though he'd strayed from his Greek Orthodox roots, he still took it as a chance to show his family how much they meant to him, and now he was feeling like a fool for leaving his band-family out for so long.

What the hell could he get them that they didn't already have?

Nikki was easy, as it turned out. One quick phonecall home, his father spends about twenty minutes rifling through the junk Tommy had left from hia teenage years, and a poster, heavily creased and golden with age, is waiting at their next hotel, express shipped. Nikki didn't want or need any fancy packaging, so Tommy bought a big, yellow envelope and put the poster inside, along with a lighter he'd bought at a gas station. It looked cheap, a bit rough around the edges, but he was pretty sure Nikki would appreciate it all the same.

Mick was a little more difficult, seeing as he was almost guaranteed to throw out any joke gifts, or amything he didn't want. It feels like a cop-out, to just give him booze - expensive booze, mind you - instead of something sentimental. As luck would have it, Tommy finds himself scoring blow in an alley beside a pawn shop, and once the deal's done, he spots an iridescent alien-head keychain. He tapes the charm to the bottle of booze, amd slaps a bow on it, and is satisfied.

He and Vince have been exchanging Christmas presents since high school, as long as they were in the same town. Mostly they're joke presents. Tommy's had this year's picked out for months; a Malibu Barbie he'd repainted himself with Vince's stage make-up. Vince he didn't need to worry about.

Lola was a different story. She lived her life in the shadow of the band's, her existence, her belongings, were a patchwork of their leftovers; her creature comforts were consumables, and while she always took whatever she could wherever she was, it was because she could, not because she wanted things. What can you get for the girl who seems to want nothing, and still gets everything?

"Lola doesn't want things, she wants experiences, opportunities," Vince is the one who Tommy finally goes to for advice, and was the only one who Tommy knew would be actually helpful. They're in Vince's dressing room now, Tommy polishing off a bottle of Jack while Vince touches up his own eyeliner. Tommy's frowning, still at a loss, and he lowers the bottle. Their eyes meet in the reflection of the mirror, and Vince visibly hesitates before speaking again.

"Have you ever heard her play piano?"

Christmas rolls around and they're stuck in a hotel in Arizona. They're finishing the tour in LA just days before New Years Eve; the end is so close they can all almost taste it.

Sharise invites them all to dinner, well, she invites Lola when she learns that Lola's never had a proper Christmas dinner and 'the rest of them can come too if they want'. Tommy feels like Santa, laden with gifts, as he gets to the private room they had booked at the nicest resturant in town that was still open. He'd spent the morning organising Lola's gift, and was glad to have a break to eat before he gave it to her, or more accurately, took her to it.

"We were meant to bring presents?" Lola looks immediately panicked when he steps inside with a rather full backpack. She starts patting down her pockets as if hoping to magically find a pile of gifts there. "I didn't- I mean like I didn't bring them- its just drinks- nice drinks -" she clarified, but Tommy grins brightly.

"It's chill, Lols, I just saw this stuff around and thought it would be nice, its not a big deal," with that he laughed a little self consciously, "and dude, I'm sorry but I don't even have a thing to give you."

Lola can't help but be a little put out by that, still strangely childish in ways that continue to baffle Tommy, but he hopes she'll appreciate his gift, even if he can't give it to her with the others.

They do exhange gifts; Tommy gives Sharise champagne, and she seems more amused by his gift to Vince than Vince is. Vince, for his part, gives Tommy an ornate fountain pen, which has Tommy confused at first, while Nikki roars with laughter, pulling out an incredibly cheap ballpoint with a bow on it.

"You guys are fucking assholes," Tommy scowls once he realises, though by now even Lola's snickering. The scar from where Roxie had stabbed him several months ago begins to ache, just a little.

Mick, like Lola, doesn't have any gifts either, but he passes her a lighter and gruffly tells her he found it on the bus, that it was her's and that this isn't a gift. He does, however, smile at the keychain Tommy gives him, and in a few days, Tommy will see it looped around the handle of one of his guitar cases.

To no ones surprise, Nikki puts a six-pack and a pair of cheap, grape flavoured, edible panties on the table, and slides it gracelessly across the table to Lola wearing a shiteating grin. Mirroring his smile, Lola reaches into the inner pocket of her jacket, and flicks him a little cardboard package. Its unmarked, nondescript, and absolutely no-one at that table trusted Lola to have put something appropriate in that box. Everyone waits with a sort of morbid curiosity as Nikki shakes the box, giving pause before opening it.

"It vibrates." Is all Lola says as he holds up the bright purple cockring, smile on his face giving away how genuinely amused he was with it.

"Presents are cancelled," Sharise declared with faux exasperation, but Tommy's already protesting, holding out his own gift to Nikki.

Sharise hands Lola a small present as Nikki unwraps his. For Lola, its new black lipstick and eyeliner, and for Nikki, its an old poster of his band, London, and a cheap lighter. Nikki's expression is unreadable, blinking slowly at the poster, the room's gone quiet enough that everyone can hear it crinkle in his hands as he looks up at Tommy's smile.

"It's the one I used to have on my wall, man; my folks kept all my old posters, I thought you might wanna burn the shit out of this one." He gestures to the lighter, nervousness bubbling in his stomach, unsure of how Nikki feels about it, his face still a little shocked.

Little by little, Nikki's lips turn to a smile, a bright, beaming, genuine grin. He practically launches himself across Mick to wrap Tommy in a hug, fierce and bright. Mick grumbles, but Nikki just crows about how weirdly cool it was.

"Yeah, i figured arson and petty revenge are like, two of your favourite things," Tommy babbles, hugging Nikki back, quietly pleased with himself. Its a strangely endearing moment, and when Tommy looks over at her, he catches Lola's adoring smile as she watches them, but its gone quickly.

Dinner is fun, between the bottles of rum they finish off between them and the lines of coke they have for dessert, which Sharise mostly abstains from, they don't really get out of line. Except for when Nikki sets the poster on fire with the candle in the middle of the table, and he ends up getting kicked out.

Whatever, he was mostly done anyways.

After dinner they all go their separate ways, but Tommy catches Lola before she gets too far. She's tipsy, grinning in the cold night air, happy to let Tommy lead her where he may. Lacing her finger with his, her free hand swings the six-pack Nikki had gotten her, while she hums a tune Tommy recognises but can't place.

They come to a stop outside of the Hall where the band were due to perform the following night, their equipment bus parked and quiet beside the building.

"Nothing's in there yet; we're bumping in tomorrow morning," Lola says, her hamd still in his. Tommy just grins, pulling a set of keys from his pocket, jangling them enticingly.

"So we've got the whole night."

Inside, in the middle of the stage, lit by a single warm, golden spotlight, sits a grand piano. The whole building is empty, save for the two of them, and Lola's grip on his hand tightens. All words leave her, eyes going wide and surprised.

Walking forward, she heads towards the piano, but she doesn't let go of his hand, gently tugging him along with her. His name leaves her lips, a disbelieving, reverential utterance. The lid is already lifted and she carresses the keys with her free hand.

"You didn't have to-" she turns to him, expression awed, but he gives her hand a squeeze.

"Merry Christmas, Lols."

Stepping up to him, her hand is gentle on his cheek, far more gentle, more tender than he was used to her being. Leaning in, they kiss softly, in sync, fitting together as they always had, as they were always meant to. Pulling away, Tommy's grin is fond as he kisses the tip of her nose. Untangling their fingers, he gestures wordlessly to the piano.

Lola sits, hesitates, listening to Tommy's retreating footsteps.

"Where are you going?" She asks quietly, fingers dancing across the keys as she plays a quick scale.

"Vince told me-"

"That snitch." Lola laughs softly, before adding, "'told you I don't like an audience, didn't he?" Tommy agrees, still paused halfway to the door. Lola is quiet for a moment, and she stops in her movements, but then she starts up again, and Tommy's heart is in his throat as he hears thw opwning bars of the song he'd been working on for almost a month amd a half now. The song's not yet finished, but he'd know the opening to Home Sweet Home anywhere.

"Can you stay?" Lola's voice is barely audible above the music. "If you want to, I'd like you to stay." And she doesn't know the lyrics, so she keeps playing what she's heard him play a hundred times over.

"I didn't know you knew this that well," Tommy finds himself smiling, walking back to the piano, to sit down beside Lola where she's shifted over to make room for him. She's smiling too, genuine, actually a little bashful, and she's still playing when she admits her thoughts.

"It's shaping up to be one of my favourites."

[bae-leth]

AU of The Other Dimitri AU Part 1 of 2

Me again! It’s funny, I know what I wanna do with the Ivan oneshot but planning it and then getting to writing it is being far more difficult than expected. Maybe because I’m dealing with a character who is an OC but also somewhat canon in the sense of taking canon Dimitri’s role? Anyways, I’ll get that fic out eventually, I’m actually having fun with the challenge of getting it to work. So I decided, in the meanwhile, to make some notes about the previous post I submitted regarding Ivan (the unit overview) and doing something fun as a bonus. Writing down Ivan as a unit if he existed in the canon game! An AU of an AU. Ah well, it’s fun and it helps me figure out his character. *NOTE*: As I was writing this thing, I realized this was getting ridiculously long for a submission, even from me. So this is gonna be part 1 of 2. I’ll get part 2 to you in a few days with the rest of the info, mostly related to timeskip stuff, battle quotes, paralogues, and RECRUITMENT (*gasp*). Part 2 is gonna have PLENTY of delicious angst! And I hope this part has gotten you interested in what happened to Ivan during the timeskip, especially with the few little hints I’ve dropped here and there. **WARNING**: There will be slight spoilers about the Blue Lions route. I will avoid as many major spoilers as possible or otherwise be vague where I can, but there is some stuff. Just wanted to give a head up! Anyways, I hope you too enjoy this! And, once again, sorry for submitting these absurdly long posts to your inbox.

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Notes

*The following notes are some fun facts regarding stuff I put down in the Unit Overview post*

Childhood Picture: It’s a portrait of Ivan, Dimitri, Felix, Ingrid, Sylvain, and Glenn. It shows them as they were about five years before the Tragedy of Duscur. In the first few months of the charade, when Ivan saw this picture he freaked out and tore the part that had him in it off, burning it in the fireplace. He carries the picture with him constantly. By the point in the timeskip where he starts to go as “Ivan” again, he regrets tearing the picture, especially since it’s the only picture he had that had all of them together. But perhaps the other members of their friendship group have other pictures?

Collection of Fairytales: Ivan loves fiction books, and fairytales are no exception. When the charade begins, Ivan is so focused on training his body and mind to become more and more like Dimitri that he doesn’t check out his books anymore. It isn’t until a couple years later that he sees this book. He smiles and starts to open it, only to see his real name on the inside cover. Ivan has a habit of writing his name on the inside cover of all his books. What followed was Ivan grabbing a quill and large bottle of ink and proceeding to furiously cross out his name from every single one of his books.

Jeweled Dagger: Considering it has the letter D on the hilt, you would think it was Dimitri’s dagger. And…technically you’re right. But Dimitri never got to see the dagger. Ivan wanted to give Dimitri a surprise present for their 14th birthday. So he secretly commissioned the dagger from a blacksmith, asking that it be delivered on Dimitri and Ivan’s birthday. The Tragedy of Duscur happened a short time later and Ivan forgot all about the dagger, between his trauma and having to train for the charade. That is, until a package arrived on his 14th birthday, addressed to “him”.

I actually forgot to put down Ivan’s favorite type of tea but then I remembered Dimitri’s favorite tea is chamomile. So I looked it up and chamomile tea is known to help with stress and anxiety, as well as act as a decent sleep aid. Perfectly fitting for Dimitri and just as fitting for Ivan. So yeah, Ivan’s favorite type of tea is chamomile!

Ivan very much did learn the edible weeds thing from Dimitri! The story is that when they were around eight and hanging out outside, Dimitri chomped on a dandelion with zero warning. When Ivan stared at him in horror, Dimitri proceeded to happily explain all about edible weeds. Ivan decided to just accept it and move on (screaming internally the whole time) …Though he did keep it in mind and has always been kind of curious…

Why is Ivan terrified of horses? When he was four, a particularly bad-tempered horse bit Ivan’s cloak and wouldn’t let go, tugging it and tossing poor tiny Ivan with every shake. Ivan may no longer remember the incident, but he’s been terrified of horses and Pegasi ever since.

Ivan’s Music: He has a habit of humming, especially when doing monotonous tasks or when he’s in an especially good mood. He practiced hard to stop doing it once he had to become Dimitri, but once he goes by Ivan again, he’s slowly bringing the habit back. He has a lovely singing voice, though he’s very out of practice since he hasn’t sung since he was 13. But it’s a strong voice and he has impressive range. A little practice and he’ll probably be as good as he was when he was younger. His instruments of choice are the piano and violin, once again having not touched either since he was 13. After he officially becomes king (particularly after the ceremony that names him king which was held three years after the war) he starts taking lessons again, though doesn’t have much time for it since he’s busy with so many other things. He only started composing his own music when he was 11. He starts making little compositions again during rare free time in the war. He still makes compositions after he becomes king but, once again, he’s so busy he really doesn’t have time to nurture his talent.

Sometimes he’s bitter towards Dimitri for how disinterested the guy was in music, which made Ivan give up so much to perfect the act. But Ivan also remembers Dimitri patiently and happily listening to him play and sing, always saying Ivan was a “god of music”. A silly exaggeration as far as Ivan was concerned, but he doesn’t think he would’ve kept up with music if it wasn’t for Dimitri’s wholehearted encouragement.

Ivan and Ingrid share so many favorite foods. This is largely because when Ingrid was the one who comforted Ivan, she would often share some food with him when she did so. So Ivan associates those foods with happy memories. Ivan’s interest in food with interesting textures is a thing that started a little before arriving at the academy. The reason of which I won’t say (is it a spoiler? I don’t know, better safe than sorry. It has to do with something mentioned at some point in Dimitri and Flayn’s supports if you’re curious, I don’t remember if it’s said elsewhere).

Ivan and Felix were the baby brothers of the friendship group. Even Ingrid treated him as a baby brother like she did with Felix, even though Ivan was older than her. Ivan and Felix had a strong bond due to being meek crybabies. Ivan also had a habit of often hiding behind Sylvain when something spooked him. Of course, Felix often had the same idea, leading to the pair sometimes competing to cower behind Sylvain, while Sylvain laughed at them the whole time, while also doting on them.

So yeah, Ivan did forget his real name over the five-year timeskip. Between all the trauma he faced and the visions of the dead, he could only recognize himself as “Dimitri”, even though he saw hallucinations of the real Dimitri often. He doesn’t remember his own name until Byleth says it to him after Byleth learns that “Dimitri” was really Ivan this whole time.

I saw an anon noticed my stat joke about Ivan’s high Luck compared to Dimitri. One of my favorite things is when Fire Emblem games do something with a character’s stats or classing options (something other than personal skills) that reflect on some story element. Like having a character who is stated in story to be super lucky have naturally high Luck. Or that thing in Awakening with Kellam’s whole shtick of being practically invisible, so he can be reclassed into the Thief class. So yeah I purposefully lowered several of his stats and growths and just cranked up that Luck to match his backstory. Also, I’m pleasantly surprised an anon noticed that Ivan having higher Mag and E+ in Faith implies he was meant to be a healer. Because yes, that’s true! The idea is that if Dimitri hadn’t died, Ivan was gonna be on the path to be a healer/mage character. But because he had to become Dimitri, that greatly stunted his growth and shifted the rest of it to match more with Dimitri’s stats and growth.

Those are the big notes I thought of. Now, let’s get into the AU of this AU, involving what if Ivan was a character alongside Dimitri! Just a thing I made for fun, and like I said before it helps get those creative juices flowing!

AU of The Other Dimitri AU – Ivan Alexis Blaiddyd Unit Overview

Backstory

An overview of the backstory, at least where it differs from how Ivan is in the main AU. Ivan is still Dimitri’s younger identical twin brother, still has the minor Crest of Blaiddyd too. One difference is that while in the main AU Ivan is the one who interacted with the girl with the dagger, in this AU it’s Dimitri who did so, just like canon. The idea being that both of them met her and Ivan tried his best, but she and Dimitri hit it off while Ivan couldn’t get far, so he stopped coming along to visit her. He’s bitter about the idea of once again being passed up for his brother but he’s also jealous of having his brother stolen away from him for that time Dimitri and the girl knew each other. The other big difference is that Ivan didn’t go with his family on the day of the Tragedy of Duscur. Ivan was a sickly child growing up, and he hadn’t been feeling well during the week of the trip. Therefore, Lambert had him stay behind out of concern his condition would get worse during the long trip. Ivan was heartbroken at being left behind (and while he understood why, there was still a twinge of terror deep in his heart over not being good enough, being a burden). The Tragedy of Duscur goes down, Dimitri comes back as the only survivor. Things on Dimitri’s end go down basically the same as canon: meeting with Dedue, his trauma, the falling out with Felix, etc. On Ivan’s end, things end up changing quite a bit. Since Dimitri’s alive, there’s no act, so Ivan’s skills grow as they were intended, being more magic and healing based. Although he ends up picking up the lance too, because sparring was sometimes the only way to get his brother out of his room during those first few months following the tragedy. Ivan finds himself puzzled by his own emotions, particularly how he isn’t devastated to the same extent Dimitri is. Of course he’s in pain and mourning the loss of his father, stepmother, and Glenn. And he’s horrified by the deaths of all the knights, by the deaths of the people of Duscur (he remembers the furious tears streaming down Dimitri’s face as he told him the people of Duscur were innocent). But unlike Dimitri, who’s half dead and only making it to the next day thanks to Ivan, Dedue, and Rodrigue, Ivan still moves about. Eats just fine (Dimitri acts weird towards food now), doesn’t cry the night away (Dimitri sometimes slips into his room or Dedue’s and just sobs as he clings on desperately). Probably the one thing Ivan has in common with Dimitri in grief is the onslaught of nightmares (Dimitri never says what his are about, but Ivan’s are visions of his loved ones and so many faceless others covered in blood and gore, cursing him for his dumb luck that kept him away from the horrors of that day). And maybe that is what’s wrong, that he wasn’t there and didn’t see any of it. But…he doesn’t know. He’s so confused. And he hears the whispers from nosy nobles who know nothing, thinking he doesn’t care about the deaths. Ah well, he supposes he’s used to being the subject of mockery and rumors, as the worthless second-born, never as good as his brother. Never good enough for anyone…His relationship with Sylvain and Ingrid remains close over the years. However, he too ends up coming into conflict with Felix, although nowhere near what happened between Felix and Dimitri. Felix’s issue with Ivan, much like with Dimitri, stems from the rebellion when they’re 15. Except Ivan wasn’t part of the assault against the rebels (“Let me go too, Brother!” he had yelled while Dimitri refused and even ordered guards to make sure he didn’t come. As if years separated the pair instead of mere minutes). When Felix had told him what Dimitri had done, yes, Ivan had been thrown off by it, even horrified of the image of the warm and loving brother he knew being such a beast (“But the rebels were a threat to innocent people. Dimitri did what he had to, in order to protect others.” “You wouldn’t say that if you saw him, Ivan!”) Naïve and black and white in his view of “right”, almost disturbingly so, that’s what Felix had spat at him before storming off. But perhaps because Ivan wasn’t part of the battle, perhaps because Ivan’s fear of fighting and the way he shakes at the idea of it is so genuine, Felix doesn’t sever their friendship like he does with Dimitri. But Ivan can see they’re no longer “two peas in a pod”, that with Felix’s changing feelings towards the concept of “chivalry”, things can’t be as they once were. And maybe Dimitri is somewhat bitter about Ivan being able to maintain those bonds that he himself can’t find a way to. Another big shift shows up that adds more fuel to the fire of Ivan’s jealousy and bitterness towards Dimitri. The way his uncle, the court advisors, and noble after noble feel the need to tell him to help his brother, to look out for him and support him. The comments alone aren’t an issue, it’s what Ivan was doing anyways, because his brother is his idol and best friend. He loves him, truly. But the way they keep talking gives off warning signs. Before the tragedy he was shoved to the side and considered an afterthought, not worth a second glance and having nothing of value compared to the golden heir and crown prince. But now, with the way they’re telling him to support his brother and stay with him, it becomes more and more clear that they’re telling him to live only for his brother. Live for him, die for him. Ivan’s life is no longer his own, his dreams and wishes are no longer his own. He exists only for Dimitri now. He’s not good enough to actually help or provide any meaningful assistance, such as in battles or in politics, he’s only the spare after all, a weak and timid crybaby. But he still must do everything and anything for Dimitri (“You’re brothers, of course you would do anything for him, right? Anything at all?” “…Yes…” As if he can say no to them. As if he can convince himself he’d ever say no). Because it would be a tragedy to lose the crown prince, but not nearly as much if it was the second son. It’s suffocating. This varies from the main AU, where Ivan is still very jealous and bitter, but Dimitri’s death makes Ivan glorify him. His love towards his brother is very real there, but he goes overboard, which is a major factor behind his issues figuring out who he really is and how he truly feels once he goes by Ivan again in the main AU.

Character Description

The second prince of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus, and Dimitri’s twin. He is a timid and gentle young man who claims he’s not made for battle. And yet there may be something far more complicated to his nature, especially his feelings towards his brother.

Preferences

Likes: Writing and performing music, live musical performances, fiction books, board games, sparring, well-deserved appreciation, spending time with Dimitri

Dislikes: Himself, battles, darkness, horses and Pegasi, scorching heat, people who talk behind others’ backs

Stats and Growths

Base Stats - HP: 24 Strength: 7 Magic: 10 Dexterity: 6 Speed: 7 Luck: 8 Defense: 5 Resistance: 5 Charm: 8

Max Stats - HP: 65 Strength: 56 Magic: 71 Dexterity: 65 Speed: 69 Luck: 67 Defense: 42 Resistance: 44 Charm: 73

Stat Growths - HP: 35% Strength: 40% Magic: 50% Dexterity: 45% Speed: 45% Luck: 50% Defense: 30% Resistance: 30% Charm: 45%

Skills and Proficiencies

Skill Levels – Sword: E Lance: E+ Axe: E Bow: E Brawl: E Reason: D Faith: D Authority: E Heavy Armor: E Riding: E Flying: E

Strengths: Reason, Faith

Weaknesses: Axe, Brawl, Heavy Armor, Riding

Budding Talent: Lance

Faith Magic Learned: Heal, Recover, Physic, Nosferatu, Aura

Reason Magic Learned: Blizzard, Thoron, Sagittae, Meteor

Starting Skills/Inventory

Starting Class: Noble

Personal Skill – Second-born’s Struggle: If unit’s HP drops below 50%, grants unit +20 to Hit Rate, +10 to Critical Rate, and +5 to Damage dealt.

Crest – Minor Crest of Blaiddyd: The Faerghus royal family’s Crest, inherited from Blaiddyd of the 10 Elites. Occasionally doubles Attack and weapon uses for combat arts.

Other Skills: Lance Prowess Level 1, Reason Prowess Level 1, Faith Prowess Level 1

Magic: Blizzard, Heal

Combat Arts: None

Starting Equipment: Training Lance, Vulnerary

Academy Appearance

Ivan and Dimitri are identical twins, so physically there’s not much difference between him and Dimitri. The only real difference would be that Ivan’s hair is subtly softer looking and messier, a few more bangs, a couple strands out of place, that sort of thing. Their differences come more from non-physical things, like how Ivan’s voice is softer, or how he holds himself differently, always fiddling with his clothes or having a hard time keeping eye contact, shy and introverted. As far as clothes go, Ivan wears the standard male Academy uniform, the only personal touches he wears being white gloves and a blue cape that wraps across the front of the shoulders and clasps on his left shoulder with a golden fastener that looks like the lion representing the Blue Lions (and Faerghus as a whole).

Relationship with Blue Lions at Academy

Dimitri: Dimitri is rather doting and protective of his brother, which Ivan is sometimes annoyed by since he’s only a few minutes younger than Dimitri. They have a close relationship, although there are several obvious signs that they are at odds with each other, especially considering Ivan’s darker feelings of jealousy and bitterness competing with his genuine love for his brother.

Dedue: While Dedue’s devotion is for Dimitri, he and Ivan have a comfortable relationship. Ivan sometimes sits in the garden with him, Dedue taking care of the plants while Ivan reads or composes.

Felix: Felix finds Ivan’s rather cold, black and white view towards justice aggravating but doesn’t always push him away like he does with Dimitri. Ivan is the one who puts more effort into trying to spend time with him though.

Sylvain: Sylvain enjoys teasing Ivan considering how timid he is and how he still has a habit of hiding behind Sylvain when spooked. But they have a fun and easygoing relationship. And they like talking about music.

Ingrid: They have many favorite foods in common thanks to how Ingrid comforted him all the time when they were young. Ivan gets frustrated with how Ingrid sometimes still treats him like a child who needs to be protected.

Mercedes: Ivan has a friendly rivalry with her, since she’s a fellow healer and mage. He often goes to her for advice and lessons to improve his own techniques. He closest to her after his brother and friends. Dimitri likes to joke that Mercedes is trying to steal his brother for herself. Ivan sometimes notices a brief odd look on Mercedes’ face when Dimitri says that though.

Annette: Since they both love music and have skills with magic, they get along well. But Annette is often embarrassed singing or writing songs in front of Ivan since she finds him far more skilled, while Ivan enjoys her work and wants to work with her if she’d let him.

Ashe: Bookworm babies! They have a little book club (made of the two of them) where they love exchanging notes on books they read. Ashe also enjoys getting to know Ivan since he’s been curious about Ivan ever since hearing all the rumors and jokes about “the pathetic second prince” growing up.

First Meeting with Ivan

“A-are you the one who helped Dimitri? I can’t thank you enough! O-oh, is my appearance throwing you off? I’m Dimitri’s twin, Ivan Alexis Blaiddyd. Although, other than my face, I’m not much like him…”

First Kill

“Stop shaking! I had to do it! …Yes, I had to. It’s what they deserve for all they’ve done.”

Cooking (Pre-Timeskip)

“I apologize in advance, Professor. Cooking was never my strong suit.”

“This isn’t going as badly as I’d feared…Wait, did I just curse us? Oh no.”

Cooking (Post-Timeskip)

“I’m still terrible at cooking, Professor. I’m sorry about that…”

“Okay, this isn’t too bad. Oh, I better stop speaking before I curse us.”

Choir Practice

(Pre-Timeskip) “I’ve loved music since I was a child. But I…I still don’t have the courage to perform in front of a lot of people…This should be good practice for that, right?”

(Post-Timeskip) “No matter how harsh this war gets, no matter how much it tries to break me, I won’t abandon my music. It’s something that’s mine. No one will steal it from me.”

Counselor Note

“I’ve been hearing people say some cruel things about me when they think I’m not around. I’m used to such comments, but it still affects me. And I don’t have the courage to say anything. What should I do?”

(Bad Answer): You should grow a spine and confront them!

(Bad Answer): If you point them out, I can say something to them on your behalf.

(Good Answer): Talk to someone you trust. They can give you the support you need to make a decision.

Lost Item

Items

Collection of Fairytales (A thick book of many tales of fantasy and adventure. Something is written on the inside of the front cover, but the writing is smudged. Probably belongs to someone who loves stories.)

Book of Scores (A book filled with pages upon pages of musical compositions. Each sheet is covered in detailed notes. Probably belongs to someone who loves music.)

Childhood Picture (A portrait, worn with age, of a group of smiling children. Some of the children look familiar. Probably belongs to someone with several friends.)

(If item belongs to him): “Thank you! I…I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d lost this.”

(If item doesn’t belong to him): “I’m sorry, Professor, you have the wrong person…”

Gift

Liked Gifts: Forget-me-nots, Book of Sheet Music, Board Game, Ceremonial Sword, Legends of Chivalry

Disliked Gifts: Training Weight, Riding Boots, Hunting Dagger

(Received gift he likes): “For me? Truly? I don’t know what to say…”

(Received gift that’s neutral): “I’m glad that you’re thinking of me.”

(Received gift he dislikes): “Umm…Thank you…? Please don’t give me that look, Professor.”

Tea Party (Pre-Timeskip)

Greeting: “Thank you for the invitation.”

Liked Topics: Tell me about yourself, You seem well, Evaluating allies, The ideal Professor, Working together, Thanks for everything…, Favorite sweets, Shareable snacks, The library’s collection, Our first meeting…, Children at the market, Fodlan’s future, Books you’ve read recently, A word of advice, Someone you look up to…, A place you’d like to visit…, Overcoming weaknesses, The view from the bridge, Cats…, I’m counting on you, Past laughs, The Opera…

Disliked Topics: Reliable allies, Being the perfect knight, You seem different…, Dining partners…, Hopes for your future, Things you find romantic, Food for life, Capable comrades, The existence of Crests, Classes you might enjoy, School uniforms, You’re doing great work, Close calls, Mighty weapons, Sturdy weapons, School days, Cooking mishaps, Equipment upkeep, Monastery rules, The last battle…, A new Gambit…, Working hours for guards

Comments

“Umm, I’m sorry if I’m a boring conversationalist. I was never a social person growing up.”  

“I thought you accidentally invited me instead of my brother. It wouldn’t be the first time-Oh! I-I shouldn’t have said that.”        

“Thank you for all the support you’ve given me. It means more to me than you realize.”         

“I…I’ve been composing some songs recently. But no matter how hard I try, I’m not satisfied with them. But I suppose if it was easy then everyone would become musicians.”

“I’ve always hated battles, but I knew I would have to face them eventually. So I chose to study healing. I wanted, at the very least, to make sure I could keep the people I hold dear safe.”

Extended Time Comments

“This is for me? You’re too kind.”

“Umm, are you trying to spot differences between my face and Dimitri’s? There really isn’t much. Trust me, I’ve looked.”

“My hands shake after battles. I don’t know if they’ll ever stop…”

“Sorry, if I’m being too quiet for you, Professor. I’m not really used to all this.”

End of Tea Party: “Thank you, I had a great time! …Could we do this again?”

Tea Party (Post-Timeskip)

Greeting: “I’m sorry for the wait.”

Comments

“I think I’ve gotten a little better at conversation over the past five years. At least, I hope I have…”           

“I appreciate you, Professor. I apologize if that sounds too blunt, but I wanted you to know how grateful I am for all you’ve done.”

“I still compose sometimes, during the few lulls between battles. Some soldiers once asked me to compose some songs for battles, but I refused. I can never do that…”        

“People call me childish for still cherishing my books of adventures and wonder. But why is it wrong to hold them dear? Is it really a sin to want to escape from all of this, for just a moment?”

“I often dream of when I was younger. Before this war, before the Tragedy of Duscur. I…I wish life could be so simple again. I’m sorry, please ignore me…”

Extended Time Comments

“A gift? You’re truly a kind one, aren’t you?”

“My hands still shake after all these years. Is that a sign of weakness? Or a blessing that I’m not desensitized to killing…”

“My scar? Please, don’t worry. It aches when it’s particularly cold, but otherwise it doesn’t hurt me anymore.”

“Thank you, Professor, for all the faith you’ve shown in me. I’ll work hard so that I won’t let you down.”

End of Tea Party: “Thank you for inviting me. Peaceful moments like this are a blessing amidst all this chaos.”

Dining Hall (Pre-Timeskip)

Favorite Food: Shares many favorites with Ingrid, so if a food is her favorite it will most likely be his as well. Also loves sweets.

“This smells delicious! I can’t wait!”

“Oh, m-my favorite. Professor, thank you so much!”

With Dimitri (Before the fight in their support)

Ivan: “What do you think, Dimitri? This dish makes you feel good, doesn’t it?”

Dimitri: “Yes, I agree. It feels comforting, odd as that may sound.”

Ivan: “You better have seconds, then!”

With Dimitri (After the fight in their support)

Dimitri: “What do you think of the food, Ivan?”

Ivan: “It’s good.”

Dimitri: “Oh, that’s good…I’m glad…”

With Felix

Felix: “Why do I have to eat with you?”

Ivan: “Felix, don’t act like such a stranger! We always did so much together as children. Eating, playing, crying-”

Felix: “You better stop while you’re ahead.”

With Ingrid

Ivan: “Look, Ingrid, it’s another one of our favorites!”

Ingrid: “I know! I don’t think I ever realized how many favorite dishes we shared.”

Ivan: “And whose fault is that?”

With Sylvain

Sylvain: “Good food, good atmosphere. Now if only it was a lovely lady by my side.”

Ivan: “Am…Am I bad company, Sylvain?”

Sylvain: “What? Oh, no, no! I was just kidding, Ivan, I swear!”

With Mercedes

Mercedes: “Oh, Ivan, did the advice I give you before work out?”

Ivan: “Yes, thank you, Mercedes! I hope my healing will be more effective now. And I apologize for the trouble.”

Mercedes: “No trouble at all! I’m happy to see you grow! We’ll be quite the healing duo, won’t we?”

Dining Hall (Post-Timeskip)

“It smells so good. I’m more than ready for this.”

“…Did you pick my favorite on purpose, Professor? If so, thank you.”

With Dimitri

Ivan: “…I…I’ve missed eating with you, Brother.”

Dimitri: “…I’ve missed it too. Let’s try to eat together more, alright?”

Ivan: “Yes! We have several years to make up for, after all!”

With Felix

Felix: “Do you really have to sit with me so much during meals?”

Ivan: “If you hate it so much, why don’t you find another spot?”

Felix: “Hmph. Cheeky fool…”

With Ingrid

Ingrid: “I’m glad we can share meals together again, Ivan. I’ve missed it more than you realize!”

Ivan: “I’ve missed it too. Who else is going to be meal buddies with me?”

Ingrid: “Umm, please tell that’s not what you’re going to call us…”

With Sylvain

Ivan: “Sylvain? You’ve been staring for a while. You’re going to make me blush if you keep this up.”

Sylvain: “Will I? Ooh, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you go red! …Seriously though, don’t mind me. It’s just…been a while, Ivan.”

Ivan: “…I’ve missed eating with you too, Sylvain.”

With Mercedes

Mercedes: “It’s so lively eating with everyone else again, isn’t it, Ivan?”

Ivan: “I agree. Lots of noise and laughing. And I’ve missed discussing healing techniques with you, Mercedes.”

Mercedes: “Oh, I’ve missed that too! Let’s exchange notes after this, alright?”

Instruction (Pre-Timeskip)

Bad: “Ahh, I…I’m sorry…”

Good: “That wasn’t so bad.”

Great: “I understand…Let me review it once more.”

Perfect: “It’s all coming to me!”

(Praise): “Y-You’re too kind to me.”

(Console): “Th-thank you for your concern.”

(Scold): “…I’m sorry…”

Instruction (Post-Timeskip)

Bad: “I’m sorry about that…”

Good: “Alright, I’m doing better.”

Great: “I starting to understand. Let me review it.”

Perfect: “I get it now!”

(Praise): “Oh, umm, th-thank you.”

(Console): “Heh, come now, I’m no longer a child.”

(Scold): “…Sorry.”

Certification Exam

Pass: “Will I be of more use to everyone now?”

Fail (Pre-Timeskip): “Even after all that studying? I, ah…I’m sorry…”

Fail (Post-Timeskip): “Some things never change, I suppose…”

Class Mastery

“I’ll put this strength to good use. I promise.”

Group Tasks (Pre-Timeskip)

“I-I’ll do my best!”

(Perfect) “We did great, Professor! Ah, I mean, I didn’t mean to sound so shocked about that!”

(Good) “We finished the task. Though I fear I may have dragged us down…”

Weeding

With Dimitri (Before the fight in their support)

Ivan: “Umm, Brother? You…You were joking when you once told me about those edible weeds, right?”

Dimitri: “What? No, of course not! Here, come with me, I’ll point them out to you!

Ivan: “Dimitri…”

With Dimitri (After the fight in their support)

Dimitri: “There sure are a lot of weeds, aren’t there?”

Ivan: “Uh-huh.”

Dimitri: “…Ivan…”

With Felix

Ivan: “Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm~”

Felix: “How are you enjoying this?”

Ivan: “I’m not. I’m distracting myself.”

With Ingrid

Ingrid: “Ivan, I don’t mean to push, but could you hum for us? This task is dreadfully boring.”

Ivan: “You read my mind, Ingrid! One song, coming up.”

Ingrid: “Thank you!”

With Sylvain

Sylvain: “Ugh, weeding. I can think of at least a dozen things I’d rather do than weeding.”

Ivan: “Keep at it, Sylvain. So long as you concentrate, we’ll be done soon enough.”

Sylvain: “I know, I know…”

With Mercedes

Ivan: “Say, Mercedes. I have a question about the weeds around here.”

Mercedes: “Do you? Well, I’ll do my best to answer, if I can! What is it?”

Ivan: “Are they…? Actually, never mind. I think I would prefer to live in blissful ignorance.”

Stable Duty

With Dimitri (Before the fight in their support)

Dimitri: “Are you okay, Ivan? You can stay over there if you want, I can take care of this.”

Ivan: “No, I appreciate the thought. But…I must be brave. I must!”

Dimitri: “So long as you don’t push yourself.”

With Dimitri (After the fight in their support)

Dimitri: “Ivan. Are you-?”

Ivan: “I’m fine, Dimitri.”

Dimitri: “The way you’re shaking says otherwise.”

With Felix

Felix: “You’re still afraid of horses? After all this time?”

Ivan: “I-I’m working on getting over it, I swear!”

Felix: “You’ve been saying that for years…”

With Ingrid

Ingrid: “When we were younger, whenever I asked if you wanted to help me take care of my horse, you’d freeze in place. What made you so scared of them in the first place?”

Ivan: “Honestly, it’s been so long, I can’t remember anymore.”

Ingrid: “Hmm, how sad…Horses aren’t as bad as you think, you know.”

With Sylvain

Sylvain: “Alright, Ivan, my back is ready and here for you to hide behind!”

Ivan: “Sylvain…”

Sylvain: “Haha, sorry! But seriously, if you need a break, I’m right here, okay?”

With Mercedes

Mercedes: “Are you alright? You’ve been trembling for a while now.”

Ivan: “It’s pathetic…No matter how hard I try, I can never feel at ease around horses.”

Mercedes: “Oh my, I see. But please, don’t call yourself pathetic! We all have our fears.”

Sky Watch

With Dimitri (Before the fight in their support)

Ivan: “Brother…”

Dimitri: “Deep breaths, Ivan. The Pegasi at the monastery are tame and gentle, they won’t hurt you.”

Ivan: “My head knows that, but my heart doesn’t agree.”

With Dimitri (After the fight in their support)

Dimitri: “Ivan?”

Ivan: “I don’t want to talk right now.”

Dimitri: “I-I see.”

With Felix

Felix: “How long do you plan on staring at the ground? You have to keep your eyes ahead if you want to keep watch.”

Ivan: “Please don’t take this the wrong way, Felix, but can we not speak right now?”

Felix: “You’re ridiculous…”

With Ingrid

Ingrid: “You’ve been looking pale since we set off. Are you really that bad with Pegasi too?”

Ivan: “I know it’s pathetic, you don’t have to say anything.”

Ingrid: “Oh, I didn’t mean to imply that.”

With Sylvain

Sylvain: “Hmm, I guess I can see why Pegasi freak you out as much as horses do. I mean, Pegasi are basically horses with wings.”

Ivan: “Sylvain, please…”

Sylvain: “Hey, no need to glare like that! I’m shutting up now.”

With Mercedes

Ivan: “Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm~”

Mercedes: “Ivan, are you okay? Your humming sounds rather distressed.”

Ivan: “I’m okay! I swear, I’m okay!”

Perfect Result

With Dimitri (Before the fight in their support)

Dimitri: “We did well! Great work today, Ivan.”

Ivan: “Please, the credit should be all yours.”

With Dimitri (After the fight in their support)

Dimitri: “We did a great job together, didn’t we?”

Ivan: “…We did well, I suppose.”

With Felix

Felix: “Well, I guess that wasn’t so bad.”

Ivan: “You worked especially hard, Felix!”

With Ingrid

Ingrid: “The job’s done, Professor! You did a good job, Ivan.”

Ivan: “Not as good a job as you did, Ingrid.”

With Sylvain

Sylvain: “A perfect job! C’mon, Ivan, where’s my praise?

Ivan: “Yes, yes, you did a good job, my friend.”

With Mercedes

Mercedes: “It was a lot of hard work, but we’re done now!”

Ivan: “Thanks for all your help, Mercedes!”

Good Result

With Dimitri (Before the fight in their support)

Dimitri: “My, that was hard work. Are you alright, Ivan?”

Ivan: “I’m fine. Sorry if I was going too slow.”

With Dimitri (After the fight in their support)

Ivan: “The job’s done, Professor.”

Dimitri: “Yes, we…we worked hard.”

With Felix

Ivan: “That was a lot of work. I’m sorry if I dragged us down, Felix.”

Felix: “Always looking to blame yourself for something, aren’t you?”

With Ingrid

Ivan: “Thank you for all your help, Ingrid.”

Ingrid: “My thanks to you as well, Ivan!”

With Sylvain

Sylvain: “Finally! I thought we’d never be done!”

Ivan: “I hope it wasn’t my fault we took so long…”

With Mercedes

Mercedes: “I’m exhausted, but we did well, didn’t we, Ivan?”

Ivan: “I agree. Thank you, Mercedes.”

Group Tasks (Post-Timeskip)

“My, this brings back memories, doesn’t it?”

(Perfect) “I hope we met your expectations, Professor!”

(Good) “I hope we didn’t cause extra work for someone else.”

Clearing Rubble

With Dimitri

Dimitri: “There’s so much rubble around here. Forgive me for letting all of you deal with it by yourselves for so long.”

Ivan: “It’s alright, Brother…Just make sure to pull your weight from now on, alright?”

Dimitri: “I promise, I will.”

With Felix

Ivan: “Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm~”

Felix: “…Never thought I’d actually miss that.”

Ivan: “Huh? What did you say, Felix?”

With Ingrid

Ingrid: “So much rubble! It truly is a disaster.”

Ivan: “Hmm, hmm, hmm~”

Ingrid: “…Heh, well, at least one of us seems to be having fun.”

With Sylvain

Sylvain: “Good grief, every time we clear this area it’s like someone dumps another load of rubble just to spite us!”

Ivan: “The monastery did take a lot of damage over these past five years. Let’s work hard, okay?”

Sylvain: “I know…”

With Mercedes

Ivan: “Are you doing alright, Mercedes? If you need to take a break, feel free.”

Mercedes: “No, don’t mind me! It’s hard work but I’ve been training a lot these past five years!”

Ivan: “Haha, I see!”

Stable Duty

With Dimitri

Ivan: “…It’s not by much, but I think I’ve gotten a little more used to horses.”

Dimitri: “That’s wonderful, Ivan! You’ve grown so much while I wasn’t around. I’m proud of you.”

Ivan: “Th-that’s a little too much, don’t you think?”

With Felix

Felix: “Well, looks who’s not shaking like a newborn fawn.”

Ivan: “I’ve grown since you last saw me, Felix! I-Ah! S-stay away!”

Felix: “Hah…Well, at least he isn’t running away.”

With Ingrid

Ingrid: “I’m glad to see you’re a little calmer around horses now.”

Ivan: “Well, I can’t be a cowardly child forever, can I?”

Ingrid: “…You’ve worked hard, haven’t you?”

With Sylvain

Ivan: “I must tell you, Sylvain, you won’t see me cowering behind you anymore! I’ve gotten a little more used to horses now, so I-Ahh!”

Sylvain: “You sure you don’t wanna cower behind me?”

Ivan: “…P-please don’t tell anyone.”

With Mercedes

Mercedes: “Aww, these horses are rather sweet, aren’t they, Ivan?”

Ivan: “…Yes, I-I suppose they’re not so bad.”

Mercedes: “So long as you’re patient and gentle, I’m sure the day will come when they won’t scare you anymore.”

Sky Watch

With Dimitri

Ivan: “Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm~ Dimitri, you’ve been quiet for a while. Are you surprised to hear me humming?”

Dimitri: “I admit, seeing you at ease enough to hum atop a Pegasus is surprising. But…I was just focused on your voice. I’ve missed your music…”

Ivan: “…Then, what’s your request? I’ll perform for you later, like when we were children.”

With Felix

Felix: “You’ve finally calmed down around Pegasi, have you?”

Ivan: “Well, yes and no. I still feel terrible around them, but I’ve gotten better at pushing through regardless of my fear.”

Felix: “Hmm…Not bad, I guess.”

With Ingrid

Ivan: “Ingrid, what is it about Pegasi that make you like them so much?”

Ingrid: “Well, I’ve always adored horses, so I suppose loving Pegasi was just natural. I adore the feeling of flying beneath the blue skies, the wind whipping past. It’s exhilarating!”

Ivan: “I see…I guess that does sound interesting.”

With Sylvain

Sylvain: “Hey, Ivan, how’re you doing over there? Don’t panic now.”

Ivan: “Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm~”

Sylvain: “Heh, he’s in his own little world.”

With Mercedes

Mercedes: “Hmm, hmm, hmm~”

Ivan: “Your humming sounds nice, Mercedes.”

Mercedes: “Why, thank you! I can see why you enjoy humming so much. It’s so relaxing!”

Perfect Result

With Dimitri

Ivan: “Well done, Dimitri! We never would’ve finished as fast as we did without you.”

Dimitri: “You’re the one who deserves most of the credit, Ivan.”

With Felix

Felix: “I suppose there are worse partner to work beside.”

Ivan: “Why, that just may be the nicest thing you’ve said to me since we reunited.”

With Ingrid

Ingrid: “We managed to take care of everything. Thank you for all the help, Ivan!”

Ivan: “I’m glad to have been of service. Thank you as well, Ingrid!”

With Sylvain

Sylvain: “Whew! All in a day’s work, huh, Ivan?”

Ivan: “You worked hard, Sylvain. Good job.”

With Mercedes

Mercedes: “We did well today! It’s all thanks to you, Ivan!”

Ivan: “Oh please, you’re the one who deserves the praise, Mercedes.”

Good Result

With Dimitri

Ivan: “Alright, the job’s done. I didn’t hold you back, did I?”

Dimitri: “You could never hold me back.”

With Felix

Ivan: “Good work today, Felix! We had fun, didn’t we?”

Felix: “Are you honestly saying that with a straight face?”

With Ingrid

Ingrid: “That was exhausting, but we finished up, Professor.”

Ivan: “Thanks for all the help, Ingrid!”

With Sylvain

Sylvain: “We’re done! Man, that was such a pain!”

Ivan: “Was it really that bad? I thought we were doing well.”

With Mercedes

Ivan: “We’ve finished the job, Professor. I’m sorry it took so long.”

Mercedes: “My, I’m exhausted! I’m glad you were there to help out, Ivan.”

[moonstruck-ffxiv-blog]

(That pic has nothing to do with anything, it’s me that tried to make my irl cat as a miqo’te)

Moonstruck: I Like RP Partners to Know

I like to be called: Mael

My favorite colors are: I’m very fond of pastels, especially pink.

Gender: I’m confused about that.

One thing you should know about me (or several): I started RPing at 12-13 years old on those BBC-type of forums. At first, I was on other’s people, then I created my own. My high school friends, to this day, still remember my primary character I had for years: Chaos, a chthonic devil-god with two dicks and two vaginas, that fucked himself, to create the demonic race. In those years, I was OBSESSED with the idea of evil and was trying to find a solution or explanation to it. It was through my writing I considered what it was - mostly with that OC, which was the most repulsive character I could ever create. A funloving, whimsy, joker-type outside, but a beast of every sin inside. There was no filter when I was RPing him. He was cartoonishly evil, which was the point. I think.

Thank Sobek King of the Nile I outgrew my edgelord teenage years lmao.

I work a lot of myself, ameliorate skills, learning,... I don’t have much time for hobbies anymore. Because of that RP, as much as I like it, is taking a backseat and I have to pick my partners pretty carefully.

I don’t like public RP events, they are all organized the same way, I find lazy and boring. If I had to choose between a public event or the Quicksand, I will pick the latter. In both cases I will stand around touching my dick for 3 hours but at least at the Titsand can hook up with someone and write ERP. That alone makes it not a complete waste of my time.

I play piano and try to get back into dawing. I practice every day and I’m starting to see the result which makes me pretty happy.

My favorite food is Frank’s Red Hot Chicken Wings Sauce.

I’m currently working on a book and trying to be a professional writer. Wish me luck!

PS: If you make me tea I will be your friend forever.

One thing you should know about my muse(s)(Or several): I do have 15 OCs on FFXIV and I don’t feel going through the whole list. I’m lazy, please forgiving me. I’ll probably go through my “Big Fives” as I call them in my inner monologue.

Louis: Louis is an extension of my alienation and loneliness. How he feels about being different and not belonging to anywhere is how I feel myself lot of the time. I have troubling connecting and understand people and so does he.

He’s a Nightkin and even if I initially present him as being “awkward and cute” don’t be mistaken. He is a killer and he is dangerous. He will exploit a weakness when he sees one. Yes, he will feel remorse about it but that won’t stop him for doing it.

Celestin: Hey do you know what happens when you shove one of those rockets you buy from the convenient store and you shove it into my ass? That character happens. His my own pride, exaggerated to the 9th degree;  he’s my salt and my anger. He’s the asshole I become when I get hurt.

Celestin is a very proud man (one could say he has some kind of god complex - which is not completely false) willing to go to unimaginable heights for his goals. He’s Machiavellian: the ends justify the means. It’s all a matter if the sacrifices he does is worth it…

Ezrien: He started as a joke character which I assume. He still got a LOT to do but bit by bit, I’m building him. I would really want to explore more his drug and alcohol addiction, to get GRITTY instead of always be joking with him. Still waiting for the good person to unpack this box of worms.

I really enjoy Ez, and I enjoy him more since I made him and Rochel cousin. They are excellent foils to each other and bring me a lot of joy.

Narcisse: My sad elf prince (tm) and my attempt to try to make a “Lawful Good” type of character. He’s a knight, living to serve other people and get rid of evil on this world. He has a very black/white worldview (which is his weakness) and he’s… well, he’s kinda of intolerant sometimes.

I still have to figure him a lot but I really love his aesthetic. I feel he’s missing, I don’t know what, and that spark of oompf is what holding me back to really enjoy him.

Ephraim: My baby. Oh, do I love Eph hahahaha. When I created him I was “okay dude, stop doing fucking egdelords all the time. No dark, break the mold.” And I succeeded! He’s the softest, gentlest necromancer I ever made -and at the same time, breaking the trope of the ever-so-dark necromancer.- I really like how I can switch my gear with him, he’s an extremely versatile character. Yeah, his backstory is sad and I can still make dark stuff with him but I can do comedy and absurd plots. Which I absolutely adore. When I RP with Cecilia and Ruruka, things get so dumb so fast. I love it.

First language: French. I’m foreign and I tend to use sentences that work in French but doesn’t in English. I do think the way I structure my writing work in my main language but sometimes is lost in translation. When I’m tired I tend to revert back more often to French which can be hilarious… or horrible.

RP blogs/Main Blog I only have this blog so uh that’s it folk

Age range:  under 13  |  14–17 | 18–22 | 23–25 | 26–29 | 30+ |  70+

Am I okay with NSFW?: yes | no | some nsfw  

I’m not particularly “shopping” for porn; I do have more sexually inclined characters than others (Ezrien, Narcisse.) I don’t mind ERP neither I mind people that do it (either regularly or casually). However, I do find it pretty pointless most of the time. What I mean by that is, the consequences of characters having sex will be the same whether you describe or not every moan and cum shot. IN ANY CASE, I’ll be honest, I did write a loooooot of smut in the past. While I don’t really do it anymore (I barely RP at all lmao), I’m not 100% closed to the idea to dip my toes back into it. It’s all a matter of what’s my mood today, what kind of char you got and who you are.

My favorite/most common thing to rp is: angst | fluff (maybe)| smut (a very soft maybe)  | crack (I don’t understand what this means in that context sorry) | action | plots | AUs (maybe, depends) | Violence | Darker themes | Yandere (yes, baby, please) | Comedy | Weird | Horror | Enigmas/Mystery

Yeah dude I added some of my own because I find there wasn’t enough

OC friendly?: yes | no | depends

RP blog: does contain ooc posts | doesn’t contain ooc posts | occasionally contains ooc | Aesthetic

tagged by @ssytxiv

tagging @corbelleterrechant @nerd-ology @lovelyflyingfiend @lichface @avwalya @lulu-ffxiv @housefortempsknight @garlean-nonsense @vashzeibel

[alittletournesol]

Sing Your Soul {JongKey} part 3/?

(Happy birthday Laura ♡)

Part 3

Minho was a difficult guy when it came to allow new artists in his bar, however he also was the demanding kind regarding his selection criterions. If one received a proposal for a performance at the Blue Night, for sure it meant talent was there ; for a long time, people who were aware of his relationship with Jinki had thought the bartender was blindly favouring the singer. Since the latter could easily have his show once every two weeks, it wasn’t wrong of them to think that way, but the thing was…

“It’s not my fault if he can sing so well.” The tall man grumbled, changing gear with one hand holding the wheel. “The audience likes him anyway.”

“I’m not saying you’re doing him too many favours.” Kibum retorted on the passenger seat, lowering the sound of the radio to be heard. “I just think that dude from the States should have more performances at the bar. He’s quite good, I like his voice.”

“You mean Eric ? He’s having a few auditions lately, he wants to try getting accepted in an agency. I guess if he succeeds, he won’t have time anymore for the Blue Night.”

“That means you’ll have plenty of evenings for my target !”

“Come on, you shouldn’t wish for one’s dismissal. The station is near, let’s see if we can park somewhere…”

As the events planner had expected it, his best friend had had to admit the few videos of the subway singer were showing a talented guy. However, he had decided he needed to see a performance with his own eyes to really make his own opinion ; no sooner said than done, Kibum had quite forced him to pick him up at his place so they could go together to the station where the stranger sang. It took them a few minutes to find a spot to park the bartender’s car, everything being almost taken on a Sunday.

In the end, they would have to walk a bit to reach their destination but they didn’t mind considering what kind of prize was waiting for them at the end of the path. The oldest of the two was heading to the station hastily, his heartbeat growing faster as he approached the subway’s outdoors staircase. He completely ignored Minho calling to tell him to go slower, that they weren’t in a rush and he would eventually hurt himself by falling in the stairs or something like that.

“Are you even sure he will welcome us warmly ?” The tallest of them asked as he bought a quite useless ticket, which would only serve to allow him on the platform. “From what you said, he rejected you last time.”

“Just because he didn’t believe me.” Kibum replied, his voice tinted with hope. “But if you, the bar’s owner, is here with me, he won’t be able to accuse me of being a liar again.”

“Aren’t we a bit rude here ? I mean, the guy had enough of scammers and told you off because you were too straightforward, and now we’re literally hunting him.”

“You’re so making a fuss over nothing… we’re going to politely meet him, not assault and kidnap him or whatever.”

“Still, I think we could have done it differently. Anyway, I guess you’re the boss so just don’t whine at me if he punches you.”

Rolling his eyes, the event planner pressed his friend to buy his ticket faster, the other one retorting he couldn’t wait faster for it to be printed. Once the machine finally gave him his due, Minho had just the time to catch it before he was grabbed by his arm and pulled towards the gates. He refrained himself from snapping at Kibum, knowing that as soon as the latter had something in mind, it was better for him to not put a spoke in his wheel. And after all, this situation could also be beneficial for him…

When they eventually made it to the platform, it was obviously almost empty : not a lot of persons had to take the subway on a Sunday, even the trains themselves didn’t come and go as frequently as on a weekday. The display was announcing the next one in a bit less than ten minutes instead of the usual two to three minutes of spare time. But what was more surprising for both men was the fact that they could have thought about it earlier : why would an artist sing in an empty subway ?

The singer wasn’t there. 

Kibum frowned and approached the corner where the guy habitually took his place, with his guitar’s case and his foldable stool. But the floor was clean as a whistle, nothing to hint that there might have been someone standing here in the past few hours. Had they come too early ? Or too late ?

“Well, I guess you scared him away.” Minho laughed. “Looks like he found another station.”

“That’s not possible…” The event planner muttered to himself before he took his phone, trying to look for a potential video that could have been posted earlier that day. “There is no trace of him.”

“Let’s just go home and come back on another day. The bar is closed on Tuesday, what do you think ?”

“No, I’m working until too late. Excuse me ?”

The bartender cocked an eyebrow as he watched his best friend being so desperate that he was asking random people about the subway singer. He somehow felt bad for him, it wasn’t in his habits to care so much about someone, to the point he looked really affected by the aforesaid person’s absence. He didn’t even know that guy, he might be a crush on him but was all of this truly necessary ?

“Kibum, you’re making a spectacle of yourself.” He stepped in when the other man asked a fourth person. “Just forget it.”

“Why does it have to be me every single time ?” The brown haired man sighed. “Can’t I have an ounce of luck in my life ?”

“You’re overdoing. Let’s just come back on another day and you’ll see your singer.”

“Are you looking for Jonghyun ?”

Both men turned towards the voice that had just spoken and were surprised to see a little girl holding her mother’s hand, the adult frowning at her child’s sudden behaviour. She was barely six years old, yet she seemed to know exactly what she was talking about. Before Kibum’s lack of tact could scare her, Minho smiled and crouched to be at her level.

“Hello, sweetie.” He softly said, kindly dismissing her mother’s apologies. “It’s fine. You said something about us looking for someone ?”

“Yes, Jonghyun.” The girl nodded. “The man with white hair who sings here sometimes, his name is Jonghyun. You’re looking for him, right ?”

“I think you’re right, do you know why he’s not here today ?”

“No, but I think he sings really well ! He sang the song of Queen Elsa for me once.”

The events planner couldn’t help but sigh with disappointment, earning a glare from his friend who thanked the little girl anyway and stood up.

“He sings here on weekdays only.” The mother suddenly said, stroking her daughter’s hair. “He still needs an audience so he opts for main lines stations on Sundays.”

“Oh, really ?” The bartender smiled. “Thank you, madam, I think you just made my friend’s day.”

“It’s nothing, I can see he’s a bit disappointed. Try going to Yongsan, last time I returned from a business trip on a Sunday, he was singing there.”

“Thank you a lot, have a good day. You too, princess.”

The little girl giggled at the nickname and both men watched her leave with her mom to wait for the subway. Minho waved at her before he turned towards his friend, crossing his arms on his chest and shaking his head.

“You really need to take lessons to improve your communicating skills.” He commented. “You’re an events planner and that’s how you accost people ?”

“It’s easier on the phone, I don’t see their faces.” Kibum shrugged. “I guess we’re off to Yongsan then !”

“You are. I can drop you off there but it takes half an hour and I have an appointment.”

“You’re abandoning me ? An appointment, my ass. Just say you got a date with your boyfriend in some cheesy cafe where you’ll eat a same ice cream sundae together.”

“You know, you won’t be able to find yourself a boyfriend if you keep acting like that. Who do you share your sundaes with ?”

“I don’t share my food. Don’t avoid the topic.”

“You’re the one avoiding it but well. Yeah, I have a date with Jinki, happy ? I’m proposing to drop you off but you can also take the subway.”

“Come on, you can’t do that to me… Ming…”

“Practice your puppy eyes, it still doesn’t work on me. Just come, stupid, I’ll give you the bar’s business card so he will believe you. Bring him there one night and he’ll see.”

With these words, the bartender didn’t hide a smile as he turned around and walked away, immediately followed by his friend who curiously stopped whining.

Yongsan station was more crowded than Kibum would have expected, he who always tried to plan his travels on rather quiet days like Tuesdays or Thursdays. The young man was playing with the business card he had in his hands, as he made his way between people and their luggages. It might sound stupid but now that he hadn’t Minho to have his back, he felt a bit less confident to do the talking with the singer — Jonghyun, if he remembered the name correctly.

He had been so tactless on the last time, and he really didn’t know how to make up for it. Was handing the card like this actually a good idea ? Or was it just as straightforward as his first attempt… His best friend’s words resounded in his mind, about the he hunt and his communicating skills. The bastard was right. He could become rude in his way to talk and to just approach people, even if he didn’t mean it. 

He was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t realize the constant hubbub in the place was now far away, replaced by the sound of fingers running on a piano’s keys and a voice accompanying the melody. This hit him right away, the timbre being so unique it couldn’t go unnoticed. Raising his head, he saw a bunch of people standing around one of the public pianos that had been placed in several main lines stations.

Sitting at it, Jonghyun was there with his perpetual dark outfit, his white hair free this time. He wasn’t focusing on the keys he was grazing, but his eyes were closed as he let his song and the music engulfing him. It was like he was alone, in his own home, without all those persons staring at him ; he was in his space, the space he created with the single sound of his beautiful voice.

Once again, Kibum found himself mesmerized by what was happening in front of him. He stopped walking and only looked at the silhouette he was seeing from the side, listened to the song. It seemed so easy, so natural, the way Jonghyun’s voice escaped his throat and caressed his fleshy lips when going out. As if the young man coud effortlessly sing every single note that existed, his vocal cords able either to alternate a low and a high-pitched tune, or to balance them to propose such a unique, incredible sound.

This guy had a real power, a gem in his throat that made so many people just stop by and listen, as if staring at a work of art in a museum. He was hearing art.

Suddenly, the station’s speakers loudly informed the travellers that the next train was standing at its platform and waited for them to board. As if the magic had been brutally interrupted, bringing everyone back to reality, the singer stopped as well and opened his eyes. Offering a smile at his audience, he bowed his head and his torso, muttering his thanks when someone was putting some money in the little bucket he had put next to the piano.

Kibum looked at everyone leaving the space to go to their train, remaining the only one to still stand here. He only woke up from his strange trance when he saw the singer stand up to pick his bucket up, checking it and smiling. There certainly wasn’t a lot, but the simple fact that there was something was enough for him to feel pleased. He seems in a good mood, the events planner thought, just go to him.

Swallowing with difficulty and with his hands sweaty, he slowly stepped forwards until he reached the piano. He didn’t have to talk because the other man looked up, their gazes meeting and making both of them freeze. And Jonghyun sighed, turning away and grabbing his bag, ready to leave.

“Wait !” Kibum heard himself say loudly, making the singer look at him. “Please, don’t go away.”

“Why ? Are you here to propose me something again ?” The blonde retorted, even though he remained gentle in his way of talking. “I told you I wasn’t interested.”

“Listen, I’ve been so rude yesterday, your reaction was quite understandable. I… I’m sorry ?”

“Are you ? You seem so.”

“Yes, I am. I’m told a lot about how tactless I am and well, you witnessed it. Can we… start again on a sound basis ? Maybe I can offer you some coffee ? Do you like coffee ?”

The singer cocked an eyebrow and remained quiet for a few seconds, pondering the proposal and observing the other man’s face. Eventually, the corners of his lips raised to draw a soft smile, and it radically changed his features ; the brunette’s heart missed a beat.

“I won’t mind a coffee.” He said before offering him his hand. “Kim Jonghyun. That’s me.”

“Yes I know.” Kibum bluntly said and blushed when he realized, shaking the hand in front of him. “S-Sorry, I was looking for you earlier and a little girl told me your name and… nevermind, I’m Kimbum—I mean Kibum. Kim Kibum.”

To his surprise, the blonde slightly laughed and seemed to forget everything that had happened between them the day before. With a hand, he gestured him to lead the way and the taller man just shyly smiled, complying as he headed towards the station’s way out.

A few minutes later, they were both sitting opposite each other in a coffee shop Kibum particularly appreciated. The latter was sipping his Americano and discreetly — he thought so — looking at the singer who was stirring his green tea latte. It had been a surprising choice for a drink, however the more he was observing him, the more the brown haired man thought it somehow suited him. They were silent, none of them knowing if they should talk first or let the other one broach a subject, and they definitely didn’t want to speak in at the same time like some romantic move cliché.

“So…” The events planner eventually said, immediately catching the other’s attention. “Do we talk business or…?”

“Why don’t you talk me about you first ?” Jonghyun asked, his soft voice added to his gentle tone sending shivers down Kibum’s spine. “This way, I will know the person I will perhaps deal with later.”

“M-Me…? I’m just the one planning all of this, not really the guy you could deal with.”

“I see no one else sitting in front of me right now. So, who are you, Kim Kibum ?”

The brunette cleared his throat, losing his usual splendor now that he was asked about himself, moreover by a man he found extremely charming. He took a mouthful of his coffee to earn some time, but the other one was so patient it was just making him more interesting.

“I’m a quite common man, actually.” Kibum ended up saying. “Planning events is my job, I got my own company so… I know how to recognize good opportunities when I meet them.”

“Am I a good opportunity, then ?” The blonde asked, a smile on his lips before he hid them with his cup.

“Can I say a very good one ? I hope it didn’t sound like I wanted to use you just for my business… It wasn’t my intention but you know, tact, all that stuff. I’m rather blunt.”

“Yes, I noticed that. Why me, though ? There are countless singers in this town’s subways, I’m not unique.”

“I think you are, because the way you sing sounds unique. I like music, but I’m complicated when it comes to my musical tastes and… well, it’s not easy to move me, yet you succeeded on your first try.”

“Did I move you ?”

“Listen, you moved me so much I looked for some videos of you on social medias and got drunk in a bar after you rejected me.”

“That’s… blunt.”

Jonghyun laughed and rested his chin on his palm, looking at Kibum with something new in his eyes. There wasn’t any suspicion anymore, but his pupils were sparkling, amused. The events planner smiled in return and felt his cheeks grow hot and pink as he realized he might have said too much in one go.

“You don’t seem as dangerous as I thought, in the end.” The singer commented. “I suppose I should apologize too, you must have thought I was the aggressive paranoid kind.”

“Let’s say you had a good reason.” The other man replied. “Though I didn’t know I looked like a scammer.”

“To be really honest, with your beautiful and professional outfit and your proposal right away… yeah, you really looked like one.”

“You found my outfit beautiful ?”

“I never got to wear something like that so I tend to appreciate these clothes on other people. You wear them well. But I think what you’re wearing right now suits you more.”

“That’s my Sunday clothes though…”

“They’re always the comfiest, that’s why I wear Sunday clothes everyday.”

Kibum’s smile grew brighter by minutes passing, his talk with Jonghyun taking turns he wouldn’t have expected. He learned some things related to the blonde’s passion for music : he had wanted to study it at university but unfortunately failed the entrance exam. He wasn’t someone stupid and had promised himself he would do better the year after, thus he had found a part-time job and had started practicing his singing in the subway.

At first, it had been for his own pleasure and a way for him to never lose his abilities. He even improved his guitar skills thanks to this, although he preferred when a piano accompanied his voice. Everything should have gone well for this young, naive man, but he had fallen in the trap of a few scammers, who promised to fulfill his dream. One after another, they deceived him and let him with a hole on his bank account, without any way to sue them because they knew how to avoid juridic reprisals. As a result of a few swizzles, Jonghyun had almost lost all his money and some his own mother had spent years to save for him.

He never forgave himself for this, and since he couldn’t live in his apartment anymore, he had promised his mom he would make up for his stupidity. All the money he had been earning thanks to his singing for some months, he had gave it back to her. Once his debt would be repaid, he would start thinking of a way to enter that university again.

“Why don’t you find a job that pays more ?” The events planner asked. “I mean… it can take quite a long time to gather enough money with only tips here and there.”

“I want to play music, and to sing.” Jonghyun honestly replied. “I wouldn’t be a good employee, being locked up somewhere would make me sad and I wouldn’t work well. I prefer to take as much time as it needs, and earning money this way. It goes slowly, that’s right, but since I have a roof above my head… I can tolerate it.”

“Is your mom angry with you about all of this…?”

“She was before. But she know how naive I am, so she eventually forgave me. She doesn’t really likes the way I try to repay her, she says there is no need, but I convinced her to let me do so.”

“I see… You know, if I wanted to propose you something yesterday, it’s because I’ve rarely heard someone like you. And… your style kinda matches my friend’s business so if you’re interested in a tactless guy providing some ideas… you don’t have to trust me, though, I would understand.”

“I think I can listen. And you seem more trustable than all these other cunts.”

“What about I show you instead of just talking ?”

With a smile, Kibum took the Blue Night’s business card out of his pocket. It was just like the bar : simple but giving this impression of intimacy, with shades of dark blue and purple as the background of silver letters. The blonde man took it, reading the few informations and pondering the proposal ; it still seemed truer than all the business cards he had been given before. Strangely, he felt attracted by the colors, the atmosphere that was promised by a simple piece of cardboard.

As he looked up, he found the brunette smiling at him.

“Just take the time you need to think about it.” He said while standing up, his cup empty and his hand rummaging in his wallet to put a bill on the table to pay for both drinks. “If you’re interested, come to this address next Wednesday at seven. I’ll book a table for two so it would be nice if you show up.”

“Is it a business proposal or a date ?” Jonghyun smiled. “I’ll see.”

The events planner’s face turned red and he stuttered some incomprehensible words before literally running away, hiding himself in his scarf. Sitting still, the singer quietly laughed and watched the other man leave hastily, bringing his cup to his lips. This business looked interesting.

next

[sailor-cresselia]

Zi-O 19 and 20: lol whoops waited a long time, might as well do them at once!

~We now bring you our Quiz Saga Liveblog.~

WhiteWoz’s Storytime Void is infuriating. Both because it’s so visually cluttered with all of the times displayed, and because the MULTITUDE of ticking sounds.

I love that the boys don’t have to stay still to transform. Seeing their transformation backdrops follow them like this, as their running, it’s great!

(I’m still pretty sure that Oma Zi-O’s bizarre chair is his transformation backdrop, by the way. At least, assuming that he’s not Another Zi-O.)

Is that a GOOGLY EYE on Another Quiz’s forehead?!

Sougo’s using the gun mode an awful lot lately.

“That monster is mine.” Yeah, it sure is, buddy. It SURE IS.

Hm, don’t think I noticed last time, but “The lessons of the past can’t be clouded by lies” is what’s playing over the shot of Rider Woz in the OP. Does that apply to the lessons of the future, as well?

Hey, Kamen Rider Quiz. You’re a little overpowered, there. We’ve already got ONE reality warper affecting our actions. We don’t need two, thank you very much.

I can FEEL the ‘We are not okay with this fight’ just RADIATING off of both Sougo and Geiz as this guy’s attacking them.

Geiz is still immediately here for the Woz’s nicknames, and Sougo’s getting a kick out of ticking off ‘his’ Woz. I love it.

The Another Rider and the Original Rider both existing at the same time… I haven’t seen the rest of the episode, of course, but I’d guess it’s a combination of “someone brought Actual Quiz back in time”, “Sequence Breaking”, and “The rules of time travel aren’t nearly as set in stone as they have been led to believe.”

(Yes, I’m sticking to that particular gun, come Helheim or high water.)

Sougo has a point – BlackWoz doesn’t come along for the fights, like, ever. He didn’t last time against Another Shinobi, not really. Not on his own; he was following Sougo to try and keep him away. So YES, Sougo’s calling you out on being out of character.

HI YES have I mentioned I really like when this season does ‘parallel version splitscreen’ shots? Like, during the Gaim arc with the two Sougos, and during “Fourze and Faiz” with Sougo and Geiz in the two respective time planes. It’s GREAT.

It’s a thing that the past few seasons have done, actually – these sort of split-views of characters. Ex-Aid used it a number of times for Emu and Parad’s conversations when they were fighting each other, particularly as Mighty Brothers XX L and R, where they went back and forth showing the suits in the ‘real world’ and the civilians in a mirrory, shadowy mindscape. Then, in Another Ending, there were several times during Genm vs Lazer that Kiriya and Kuroto were juxtaposed with their Rider forms. THAT was played a lot in the second half of Build – scenes alternating between having the armor and the civilian talking in the middle of a fight. To say nothing of the Takumi/Sento swaps, where they would sometimes change which actor was present when Takumi was talking. Sometimes. I really like that ‘form meets function’ aspect – remind the viewer who is under the mask, or who’s in the pilots seat, and it’s just really cool. The synchronized alt-selves talking is just another extension of that, be it a time-displaced Sougo or a Woz from a different timeline altogether.

… um.

Actually, whatever happened to “3 days from now” Sougo?

Suuuure, these are the only two options. Riiiight. “Take Quiz’s power (and totally kill your friend)” or “No More Mutants Riders.” Yeaaaah, we’ll get RIGHT on that, thanks Woz’s.

AHAHAHA NO. Uncle Tokiwa… ‘given how long it’s been stopped’ that watch is a Tragic Keepsake for Quiz, isn’t it? I mean, he’s from the future and all, so.

“Oh! Sougo, you have a lot of friends who like clocks! This one can stay for lunch too!”

“Um, uncle, no, this one has directly tried to kill me, actually, so maybe not-”

Ohhh. Right… Assuming the ‘riders lose their memories without their powers’ is true, which the characters all still believe is, even though i’m not so sure…

Taking Quiz’s powers while he’s… um, 2040 minus 2019 is…

Taking Quiz’s powers while he’s 21 years in the past is NOT a good thing.

“You will soon be forced to make some rather merciless decisions. Consider this practice.”

HEY WHITE WOZ. I’m not liking your expressions here. That’s waay more sketchy than someone who ‘supports’ their ‘savior’ has any business looking. Like, not even a creepy adoration sketchy, just. Plain creepy.

Oh no, that’s right, Another Quiz is Actual Quiz’s father. And now Mondo says that ‘he was talented, according to [his] mother.” Which means that in the proper timeline that he’s from… he never knew his father.

(Re-Ray plays quietly in the background)

Sougo has ZERO points. Poor Tsukuyomi only has three. Mondo quit it, you’re the GUEST here. Show some mercy on your poor, moronic host.

Geiz, what’re ya doing sneaking downstairs? (It could only be Geiz, because he’s wearing pants that fit.)

(gasp) GEIZ! You’re not wearing your harness! I was starting to think it was part of you!

(Congratulations! You didn’t do a violence!)

~skipping to the fight~

INSERT SONG: GEIZ TIME!

Okay, but really, when are they releasing these? And how many more are we going to get? Because so far I’m liking what I’m hearing, from this one and from Sougo’s in ep 16.

Not really sure what those sound effects are with your Ex-Aid armor today, though, Geiz.

Decade!OOO is Tajador. We want our bird.

BUT. Sougo’s movements are… eerily Eiji-like right now.

Hey, didn’t I say something about ‘when he stops being a knock-off, that’s when we need to worry?’ That would have been… right, last time was when I was watching the raw of episode 15. When Sougo was pulling off a pretty decent version of the Rabbit Tank Sparkling finisher. And then in 16, he was using Mighty Brothers XX pretty accurately, as well.

HM.

They go for the finisher, and the music stops dead when Hora freezes time. It’s disconcerting enough when that they do that with the background music. When it’s VOCALS that cut out, it’s terrifying.

Neither Geiz or Sougo are meant to take attacks from other Kamen Riders. It’s why Geiz was so poorly off after that curb-stomp Sougo gave him in the first part of “OOO and Genm.” It’s why Decade dealt so much more damage to both of them. And they just got hit with each other’s finishers.

WhiteWoz cares not for your puny ‘morals’ or ‘sense of right and wrong’ or ‘geiz’s growing realization that he’s not going to be able to go through with killing zi-o’.

WhiteWoz cares not for anyone.

Hey, Showy McSynth Pop? I don’t think it counts as winning if you hack the timeline to let yourself win.

So, Quiz’s backstory is breaking my heart. He just wants to see if his father actually loved his mother. That’s tragic. “Until she knows the truth, I don’t think my mother will be able to move on.”

About as equally tragic? Sougo’s line. “I think I understand.” said hesitantly, as he sits down, with restrained movements. Usually, when he’s Sougo (as opposed to Zi-O), the kids arms are almost constantly in some sort of motion. But he folded them and sat quietly down.

Sougo… what happened to your parents?

Geiz, baby, please tell me that the attack is at least partly a stunt? That you talked to Mondo before you guys came here?

Geiz??

(enter episode 20!)

We’re back to BlackWoz’s Storytime Vault! Hooray!

So: Sougo gets BlackWoz to help him and Mondo get out, via nifty Magic Scarf powers. Hora brings Another Quiz with her. And WhiteWoz is a total creeper calling them cowards.

The sunlight light overtaking Geiz and going into the 20 Rider Kicks logo is GREAT. Not only is it a great method for a transition, but it keeps us from seeing what Geiz is feeling – which it needs to, right now.

I’m pretty sure that was a sigh of relief from Geiz when Sougo and company left, after all.

The sequence breaking Another Riders seem to be a lot MORE painful to become than the Regular Another Riders… and those were already painful to watch. (Another Quiz’s eyes flashed red and blue briefly when he transformed, that’s nifty!)

Yup, I was right. The watch is a Tragic Keepsake. It was Mondo’s dads, and I think it broke today.

Sougo shows off his ‘Low INT, High WIS’ stats again. Did terribly at the quiz last episode, but can tell that Mondo’s not just here for his mothers sake. (Sougo, what happened to your parents?)

Geiz asks Tsukuyomi what Sougo would do. Well, he asks what “Zi-O” would do, and I eagerly await the day we get to see “Zi-O” become “Sougo” for him. Please let it happen. I’m still upset that nobody expect for Kasumi and Kazumin ever called Ryuuga by his name, this is almost as bad.

When she says that he’d try and prioritize Mondo’s feelings, he replies that “I guess we’ll have to fight. Make sure you tell him that.”

I don’t think that’s what you actually mean, Geiz. I think you’ve got a plan.

I hope you’ve got a plan. … one that you’ll be able to follow through on, because we know full well how that original plan is going.

And through these last two scenes – inside and outside of 9-to-5, the piano version of Over Quartzer is playing. It’s a thing of beauty.

Hm. “I guess we’ll have to fight”… Geiz, you were talking about you and Sougo, as opposed to you and Mondo, weren’t you? Because you went straight for Zi-O, not for Quiz. Clever boy.

Wait, when did you get Build?! I get that the watches are interchangeable, but you’ve been running Ex-Aid a lot lately, too.

(Now I kind of want to know if the Cross-Z and Genm watches are compatible with the Decade adapter…)

Sougo took a BEATING with that Build finisher, didn’t he…?

Nah, not as much as he could have… it looks like Geiz was pulling his punches, so to speak.

Sougo pulls the ‘which Woz are you?’ gag, and actually gets BlackWoz to refer to himself as such. Sougo gets a kick out of that, Tsukuyomi is dully surprised, and Woz is disgusted with himself.

Heehee… neither of them are telling their respective Woz’s what their own plans are. And neither of them are actually agreeing with their respective Woz’s goals.

Pity the respective Woz’s don’t acknowledge that last fact.

Sougo asks what Geiz would do… and when Tsukuyomi tells him that Geiz asked her the same respective question about him… that seems to tell Sougo everything he needs to know.

Low INT, High WIS. Sougo, you’re a deceptively devious little twig, aren’t you?

(WhiteWoz, knocking Hora down wasn’t necessary. Because I don’t believe for a SECOND that Geiz did THAT.)

Sougo, you deceptively observant little twig.

“So… Tsukuyomi said that Geiz asked her what I would do. I know I would let them interact. So, if he’s doing what I would do, then that’d be why he attacked me up there. So now I have to hold up his end of what he would do, and go straight to getting rid of the obstacle. So, I’ll take on RiderWoz, and let Geiz lead the father-son chat.”

So… The HeiGen Forever movie IS, in fact, canon, then? Because that’s the Double Ridewatch right there. And- pft – the Gaia Memory shoulder pads are temporarily little stick figures – pftHAHAHA! And they do the pre-transformation pose before attaching – this is absurd oh my god!

Of COURSE beating Another Quiz could work with Kamen Rider Quiz!

If a Riders power can only exist at one point in time; which still sounds fake, but I’ll allow it for now; the one that comes later seems to take priority. All the previous Another Riders were made after the Proper Rider already existed. That’s why the watches that our riders use had to be picked up in the present day – that way, they came into existence after the Another Rider did.

The exception to that is Shinobi, who didn’t exist at all yet, and was rendered impossible by being his own Another Rider.

In this case, Kamen Rider Quiz technically is the later iteration. He became a Rider in the future, and he’s here via time travel. So, chronologically speaking, Another Quiz came into existence in 2019, but Kamen Rider Quiz does not exist yet. So he can be considered the ‘replacement’.

SOUGO NO DO THE FINISHER IN THE LIGHT I WANT TO SEE IT PROPE-

wait it’s a Double finisher with CYCLONE JOKER? Maybe I don’t want to see it properly, Joker’s finishers are usually borderline body-horror…

Okay no, we’re good, it’s still iffy but it’s not nearly Joker Extreme levels of iffy, so we’re fine. I am A-OK with this finisher being a bootleg.

RiderWoz is OP. Sougo’s REALLY hurting after that.

Sougo and Geiz are. Not. Meant. To. Fight. Riders.

This scene with Mondo questioning his father is absolutely heartwrenching you guys. Made even more so by the piano version of Over Quartzer picking up where it left off earlier.

And then RiderWoz just has to come in and ruin everything. And use some TOTAL overkill on those attacks – oh GOD with actual lightning bolts and everything, and I had thought Quiz’s attacks were brutal when HE was doing them?

WhiteWoz cares not for your puny human morals or ethics.

Hey. HEY. What did those two watches just DO to Geiz? The bizarre vision thing is one problem as is, the electric shock is another, but something ELSE about that just effected him. Poorly.

WhiteWoz is in some serious trouble.

Hey. HEY. ProperWoz. What is that watch you just handed to Uncle Tokiwa? Why do you have Sougo’s upgrade?

I am glaring in the directions of BOTH Woz iterations. You’re BOTH super sketchy. But at least the first Woz is a more tolerable type of sketchy. At least he doesn’t seem to delight in other peoples pain.

SO I’m having fun with this again! Just have to hold out hope that they know what they’re doing with the previous riders, and keep going!

After all...

Mondo doesn’t seem to have lost his memories, now does he?

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Twelve: Heartstrings ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Uchiha Itachi ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

Blowing warm air into his hands, Sasuke stands in a long line outside the recital hall. There’s a lot more people than he expected. Which on one hand, he’s glad for. He might only really be here for his brother’s performance, but it’s still nice to see people coming to support the performers. He knows well enough from all his brother’s hard work how much time and dedication led to getting here.

On the other...that means more time waiting in the cold.

Sticking his hands into the armpits of his coat, the younger brother peeks out of the line to see the door still closed. He tried to be early to hopefully grab a good seat...but he wasn’t the only one who thought as much. And now they get to wait outside. Great.

He could have been working on homework instead...but, a promise is a promise.

This is Itachi’s last year of graduate school, in which he’s pursuing music. Specifically piano. As such, he’s one of the main performances tonight as part of a final grade, among a few top-scored undergraduates looking to enter the program, or who have simply earned the privilege to perform with the upperclassmen. Sasuke doesn't know any of them beyond Itachi. His own degree in law means being a far cry from anyone in the arts. But he’s nothing if not the biggest supporter of his brother’s aspirations for music, so he’s never missed a concert.

Finally, the line begins to move. Muttering an, “It’s about time…” under his breath, he shuffles forward with everyone else and presents his ticket. From there, it’s a free for all to get seats, a few people beelining for the bathroom first. Sasuke shamelessly jogs down the hallway, ignoring a few dirty looks and entering the concert hall.

He’ll admit, it’s pretty damn fancy. Sasuke doesn’t know the first thing about acoustics or anything, but at least it’s pretty to look at. Snagging a middle seat about a third of the way from the stage, he settles in and prepares to wait more.

Atop the cushion is a program, and he leafs through it idly as the place fills up. It’s made of fancy slick paper. Nice. There’s a total of ten performances, amounting to about two hours of show. No intermission, apparently. Hopefully he doesn’t need to pee… And Itachi is the last. Of course he is.

Sighing a bit curtly, Sasuke shimmies down in his seat to get comfortable. Somehow he ends up relatively uncrowded as the lights go down, and a student announces the beginning of the program.

They explain that it covers all avenues of the music program, both vocal and instrumental, ranging from a freshman to an upcoming Masters graduate, and several in between. Sasuke can’t help a perk of his brow. Freshman, huh? Someone from his year? Interesting. They must be pretty damn good to warrant a place with someone like Itachi.

And with that, the performances begin.

First is a woman playing a flute, fingers flying impressively across the keys. Then a man with a percussion set, varying from drums to marimbas. A few more acts pass, Sasuke almost dozing, before they announce the freshman.

That wakes him up. Glancing around, he straightens in his seat a bit, unable to help being curious.

A large harp is brought out on stage, shining in the bright lights of the hall. And out from behind the curtain comes a short woman with dark hair up in an elaborate style, fringe cut like a blade over her brow. She wears a simple gown of dark lavender that flows as she walks to the seat beside her instrument. There’s several moments of adjusting both herself and the harp before fingers lift to hover over the strings.

Silence.

And then fingertips begin to gently thrum, flowing over the notes and creating a weaving melody. Between the grace of the sounds and her very movements, Sasuke can’t help but find himself rather entranced. Chords and progressions fill the hall to the brim as her playing intensifies and lulls, builds and falls. And all the while she keeps up the same calm, focused expression, movements without flaw and flowing like water.

When the music fades to silence, it seems to take Sasuke a moment to notice. He blinks a few times as though rising from a stupor, eventually managing to clap with the rest of the audience.

Blushing and clearly letting her nerves out now that she’s done, the young woman bows with a giddy smile before preparations begin for the next act.

That was...beautiful.

A few people murmur around him, musing the same thing, especially given her age. Many insist she must have been practicing since she was quite young...just like Itachi. He’d started piano lessons before Sasuke was even born. And he has to admit...he’s a little intrigued. Itachi told him the musicians would all be in the hall afterward to receive praise. He just might have to say something.

The rest of the acts up until his brother’s don’t catch his interest in nearly the same way, and Sasuke almost finds himself bored. But then a piano is finally rolled out on stage, and...a microphone? Itachi doesn’t sing...and it’s not anywhere near the bench…

Opening the leaflet, he looks back over and realizes he didn’t really...read his brother’s entry, assuming he knew what it would say. Apparently another Masters student is dueting with a vocal piece while his brother plays the piano. Interesting.

The pair walk onto the stage, adjusting their respective assets before beginning. Without even realizing it, Sasuke smiles to himself as he watches Itachi play. Pale fingers fly across the keys, harmonizing with his partner’s voice as she croons a somber tune. Scrutinizing Itachi carefully, he sees his brother smiling rather serenely. A brow perks, looking between the two. Are they…?

The duet carries on for nearly ten minutes, earning thunderous applause once it ends. Standing and taking the singer’s hand, Itachi leads them in a bow before the curtain closes, and the announcer returns. Itachi was right: they’re to line up in the hall outside and greet the audience as they leave. Deciding to wait, Sasuke lingers until the hall is nearly empty. The performers stand in order of appearance, with his brother near the door. Hands in his pockets, Sasuke gives the first few simple nods before reaching the harpist. She’s currently being enthused over by an elderly couple. Apparently the wife used to play harp before her arthritis took hold. The musician doesn’t rush them along, listening and giving true sympathy. Watching them go, she then turns to Sasuke.

“So, freshman at the big recital, huh?”

She flushes pink, head ducking. “Ah, y-yeah. I’m not sure how I got picked…”

“Seems pretty obvious to me. You play like an angel.”

Another, darker blush. “...t-thank you.”

Heh, she’s kinda cute. “I think you were plucking everyone’s heartstrings with that one.”

That earns a giggle. “You’re actually the f-first person to make that joke.”

“Really?”

“Really! I’ll have to remember that one.”

...cue an awkward silence.

“My, uh...my brother’s the graduate pianist.”

“Oh! He’s amazing! He helped organize this whole thing, and he was super helpful.” She give a bashful smile. “He...might have helped me overcome a few spikes of anxiety.”

“Yeah, he’s a good guy. Though he didn’t tell me he was doing a duet…”

“Oh? Well...maybe he wanted to surprise you.”

“...maybe.”

Seeing Sasuke’s pout, she giggles again at the insinuation. “Well, I guess you know now, ne?” A hand extends. “I’m Hinata, by the way.”

“Sasuke.” He shakes.

“Maybe I’ll...see you at the next one?”

“You probably will.”

The pair linger for a moment before Sasuke clears his throat. “...anyway, I better get going or I’ll miss him.”

“I’m sure he’ll wait for you. It was n-nice meeting you, Sasuke!”

He responds with a nod, progressing down the hallway. It’s nearly empty now, and a few performers have actually left...including the vocalist. Either way, he gives Itachi a suspicious look.

“Sasuke. Did you enjoy the evening?”

“Yeah, it was good. I liked the harp.”

“Yes, Hinata is quite skilled for someone her age. I have high hopes for her as she progresses through the program.”

Arms then cross. “So, who was your partner?”

“Oh, just someone from class. We thought it would make a good combination.”

“...uh huh.”

Itachi just smiles slyly. “...now, I believe it’s getting late. You probably have assignments to tend to…?”

“Maybe.”

Two fingers give Sasuke’s head a teasing prod. “...thanks for coming. I appreciate it.”

“Of course. You know I wouldn’t miss it.”

And either way, he’s glad to have met that harpist, too...maybe he’ll keep up the tradition even after his brother graduates.

     Another late night...whoops! Had some writer's block with this prompt, though I really like how it turned out in the end. Maybe a little cliche, but...c'mon, who doesn't like cliches, right?      Anywho, I'd say more but honestly I'm rather tired, so that's all from me tonight. I hope y'all enjoyed, and thanks so much for reading!