#so yeah i made a saiyan oc finally

[sweetescapeartist]

So, you play Dragonball: Xenoverse 2? I remember how said the races are the difficulty of game, which is a little funny given how Xenoverse works. They are different gam mechanics depending on your character's gender, but I'll explain that after the question.

Saiyans have low health, but high attack power. Attack power rises when health is low, all stats rise after reviving. Saiyans obviously have the most transformations in game with different functions. (Different abilities depends on gender.)

Majins have high defense, but low stamina recovery. Defense bonus when stamina is maxed. Stats differ by gender. Purification is the only Majin transformation, which basically makes the OC a Kid Buu clone. (Different abilities depends on gender.)

Earthlings have balanced stats for both offense and defense. Ki refills automatically and attack rises when maxed. Earthlings ride on the flying Nimbus with the Power Pole as a weapon! It's honestly the worst transformation in the game, even with a specific Super Soul that gives it Super Armor. (Different abilities depends on gender.)

Namekians has low attack, but high health and stamina refills quickly. Items are more effective than other races and health is regenerated when low. Namekians has the ability to become a giant swating fighters and shooting diff ranged mouth beams. Duration time depends on how high your stamina stat is.

Finally, the Frieza Race can overpower with fast movement, but they have low health. Their stamina recovers while attacking and their movements speed increases as their health lowers. Frieza Race beings obviously turn Golden.

I honestly made a character of each race. 3 Earthlings, 2 Saiyans, 1 Frieza race, 1 Namekian and 1 female Majin!😶

Well I used to play. I haven't played in years. But I am familiar with the series pretty well still.

Yeah I thought about Xenoverse when I made that post (link here for those who may not know what post is being referenced).

It works a bit differently in the games than what it does in canon but thats for balance sake. But its pretty good for the most part. Especially with Earthlings being balanced. But yeah... The Earthling "transformation" is pretty wack. I'd like to see in a future update or in Xenoverse 3 that the Earthlings learn Non-Self State/ Selflessnes State from Krillin as a power up ability. But that's wishful thinking. I doubt they will do that. There isnt much effort focused on humans in DB content.

Nice! I used to have... 3 Earthlings, 1 Saiyan, 1 Freeza race, 1 Namekian, 1 Female Majin.

Now I'm gonna ask you a question. What would you like to see in Xenoverse 3 in regards to races you can play as, power ups/transformations, and story?

[hitaka5ever]

I fully reimagined my very first time writing fan fiction with my oldest OC Rocky to be as he is now (originally he was a special type of Saiyan, so he had the same powers as DBZ people; don't judge me!) so I'm going to post some of what I have

Anyway, this story is set in the Teen Titans (2003) universe set after Season 1's end and before Terra's arrival. I did get a small start on Rocky's time in the DBZ universe, but idk how far I'm going to go with it, so idk if I'll be sharing any of that

I'd love to know what y'all think ^^ Chapter is under the Read More

Dropping his head and closing his eyes, Rocky sighed. He didn’t want to end up in a city again, especially not in such a big one like this, but he guessed it couldn’t be helped. His body subconsciously walked him into a city in the state of California near a coast. Although he could use the elements, he wasn’t quite fond of large bodies of water, so he avoided them at all costs. Today just wasn’t his lucky day...

The sun was just now setting along the horizon. The alleyways between skyscrapers and brick buildings were hazed by a warm orange glow, but were getting dark fast the further along the sun set. Rocky’s stomach suddenly growled. Stopping, he sighed again, lighter this time.

“What I wouldn’t do for a cheeseburger…” Unfortunately, without any money, Rocky wouldn’t be able to get one. So, instead, he entered an alley and was prepared to search the dumpsters for wasted food that were still edible. He scrounged around a few for several minutes, finding some Chinese takeout that was covered in fuzzy, blue mold. Rocky made a “blech” noise with his tongue sticking out before tossing it back in and slamming the lid closed. “Ugh, nothing. Guess I’ll have to steal some bread or something. I knew I should’ve taken that odd job two weeks ago for some spare cash.”

Sighing, Rocky turned around and began to leave the alley. He barely heard a commotion coming to his right before he was suddenly sent flying off to the side with a large body on top of him. There was a loud grunt above him.

“Whoa, sorry dude!”

The body was suddenly off of Rocky and he was momentarily stunned before he pushed his body up with one hand. “Ugh, what hit me?”

“Well, I guess that’s one way of catching a criminal,” a monotone, female’s voice said.

Jerking his head around, Rocky said, “Huh?” before seeing an odd group of six teenagers and one adult; one of the teenagers was flying in the air. He blinked wide, curious eyes at all of them. “The hell-?”

Standing in a random formation, with a short green kid in front, there was a black-haired boy wearing traffic light colors, a black cape draped across his back, and wore a black and white mask, two girls, one being the hovering one who had orange-ish skin, bright green eyes, and had the most gorgeous red hair, and the other dressed in a dark blue cloak with her hands on her hips as she stared blankly ahead, only her purple eyes visible, and, finally, a large man with blue and gray armor pieces all over his body, had a bald head, a normal human eye and one red eye, and was holding back the arms of the adult that Rocky assumed was this criminal the monotone girl mentioned. He, of course, knew of strange humans and aliens that seemed human, but what really set them apart was how young they all were.

“You must have been hit harder than we thought,” the green teen said, holding his hand out to Rocky. His eyes narrowed slightly at it, but he reached for it anyway and allowed the kid to help him up. “You okay? No broken bones? No brain damage I hope.”

Rocky was silent for a moment longer, sensing something interesting about all of them, but then he stepped back, his eyes narrowing more. “I’m fine, but...who exactly are you guys? You’re just kids.”

Closing his green eyes and grinning, the green teen laughed. “Haha, yeah, we get that a lot.” Opening his eyes, he added, “Anyway, name’s Beast Boy, what’s yours?”

The black-haired teen stepped up beside Beast Boy, placing his hand on his shoulder. “Give him a minute, B. He’s never seen the likes of us before, he must be overwhelmed.”

“Not true,” the cloaked girl, who had the monotone voice, said under her breath, but Rocky heard her just fine.

“Um, right, sorry, my name is Rocky. And I’m not overwhelmed, I’m just surprised by your age is all.”

“Yeah, like Beast Boy said, we get that a lot,” the masked teen said with a smile. “Anyway, my name is Robin and I’m the leader of my group of friends here. We’re the Teen Titans.” Turning to face the rest of the group, Robin indicated each one with his hand as he explained, “That’s Starfire in the air, Raven, and Cyborg, and that’s a common criminal that Cyborg has restrained. The police force will be here soon.” Robin turned back around, holding his hand out, which had a green glove covering it and up to his elbow. “It’s nice to meet you, Rocky.”

Rocky hesitated a moment before gently grabbing the hand, feeling something rush up through his entire arm. “Nice to meet you, too.”

Ending the handshake, Robin eyed Rocky in curiosity. “You seem familiar. Are you famous for something?”

Rocky blinked at the surprising question. “No, not really. I mean, I know some famous people, but I’m just a visitor passing through. Why?”

There was a long pause before Robin looked back at his friends. Rocky blinked at them, curious to know what was on the teen’s mind. Robin soon looked back at him, looking serious.

“This is going to seem strange to you, but...will you come back to Titans Tower with us after the police take this criminal to prison? There’s...something important I wish to ask you about.”

Now Rocky really wished he hadn’t come here...

The police soon arrived as Rocky tried to decide what to do next. Should he go to this team’s tower or forget that he ever met these kids and leave? He definitely wanted to leave above all else, and yet something in the back of his mind told him to go with them, he had no idea why.

“So, would you like to come stay at the tower for the night?” Robin asked when the police began to drive away. “You don’t have to stay afterward, but I really need to talk to you about something.”

The urgency in Robin’s voice was all the convincing Rocky needed to say, “Yeah, okay, I’ll go with you guys.”

Nodding, Robin turned around and looked at Raven. “Okay, Rae, take us back to the tower. And Rocky is coming with us.”

“Alright.” The Titans and Rocky gathered around Raven, who looked at him. “Have you ever teleported before?”

Rocky shook his head. “No, but I’m used to insanely fast movements, so I should be fine.”

“Okay, just close your eyes if you get dizzy and disoriented.” Rocky nodded. Nodding, Raven stood at attention, closed her eyes, and then spoke very clearly, “Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos.”

Once the last word of magic had been spoken, Raven’s eyes shot open and were bright white. Beneath the group’s feet, a black circle appeared and then came up around them. When Rocky blinked, they were no longer on the street, but inside a large room with a half-circle, purple couch, a large television screen with a control panel underneath, and a kitchen to one side. As everyone moved away from Rocky to face him, Robin stepped forward with a smile.

“Welcome to our home, Rocky. This is Titans Tower.”

Rocky looked around the vast room briefly before looking back at the teens. “You’ve got a nice place here. Where is it located, exactly?”

“We’re on a small island on the bay,” Robin answered. “This used to be an alien spaceship before Cyborg made it a tower. Once I ask you my important question, we’ll gladly give you a tour.”

“Works for me.”

Nodding, Robin went to the giant television screen and began to work at the control panel, typing stuff with the keyboard. Rocky turned and moved closer to get a better view, glancing up at the black screen, which now had wording scrawling across it.

“First off, have you ever heard about Jump City before?” Robin asked, not looking away from the keyboard.

“Not until today, no,” Rocky answered after shaking his head.

“Alright, then that makes this more concerning.”

Rocky’s eyes narrowed after he blinked. “Concerning? What do you-?” Before Rocky could finish, Robin was done working away at the keyboard. The other Titans were standing behind them now. As soon as an information sheet with a photo attached to it appeared on screen, a strange feeling cut into the back of Rocky’s mind, instantly filling him with a sensation of knowing. His heart skipped a beat the longer he stared at the photo. ‘Do I...know you...?’

As far as Rocky knew, he had never once seen this half black-half orange masked man in black Kevlar and armor in his life, and yet that feeling of knowing was hitting him so very hard.

“Do you have any clue about who this man is?” Robin asked suddenly.

Suddenly jerking out of whatever trance he had fallen into, Rocky closed his eyes and shook his head hard to clear the feeling away. He imperceptibly gulped when he saw the masked man on screen again, recovered, and then looked back at Robin.

“No, I know nothing about him, but-” Behind him, Raven blinked at the hesitation in Rocky’s voice, picking up that he had felt something off within his own body once he saw the photo. Rocky then shook his head. “Never mind, it’s nothing. Anyway, why do you ask? Obviously you all know this Slade guy.”

Even as he said the name out loud, Rocky hated the bad taste it left on his tongue. He had met plenty of terrible and evil people, creatures, and aliens before, and yet this one felt way too familiar. But why? How come he felt something about a person he never even met? It almost made Rocky nauseous.

“Yeah, we know him,” Beast Boy said bitterly. “Total nutjob.”

“Anyway, last year, Slade started targeting Jump City for unknown reasons at the time, so we looked into his reasoning for it. After a while, I was so determined to find out what his deal was, that I created a thief known as Red X to catch Slade off guard. Unfortunately, he saw through everything. I became very distant with the others as my obsession grew. When Slade threatened the city with a machine called the chronoton detonator, we went after him. We found where he was hiding it and we were ambushed by his robots. Except, the detonator wasn’t there. It was a carefully laid out plan and we fell for it.

“I eventually found Slade’s hideout. He gave me a chance to take the remote that triggered the chronoton detonator, so I fought hard for it. I managed to get it away from him, and that’s when I found out the detonator and his plan were all a lie. Slade was looking for someone to follow him in whatever he wanted to do and he put my friends’ lives in danger to do it. He blackmailed me. To keep them alive, I had to become his apprentice. I put my hero side away for them and I did whatever Slade told me to do, even being forced to go as far as stealing from my father, all because Slade ordered me to. He turned me against everything I stood for and it put a mental toll on me. Eventually I ended up very ill and was out of commission for a whole week. And that’s when Slade told me something interesting.”

Robin paused for Rocky to understand all that he had said. Rocky had a good feeling he knew what it was. “I am considered the greatest young detective for my age, so when Slade asked me to help him find someone, all he told me this person’s name.”

Another harsh feeling filled the back of Rocky’s mind at hearing this.

“And he gave me yours.”

(dun dun DUN!)

[supa-z-squad-blog]

no touch

[duhragonball]

What are your favorite fights from each anime iteration of Dragon Ball? (DB/Z/GT/Super etc. Yknow lol) I’m curious!

This is a good ask, anon. Just wanted to point it out.

I'm not sure how long a list I want to make for this, because if I really go nuts with this I'll probably end up covering like 75% of the fights in the franchise. But I don't want to just pick one favorite fight from each series, because that feels too short. Tell you what, let's just play it by ear and see how this goes. I won't bother ranking these, because I'm not sure I can.

OG Dragon Ball

1) Goku vs. Jackie Chun, 21st World Tournament final

2) Goku vs. Tien Shinhan, 22nd World Tournament final

3) Goku vs. Piccolo Junior, 23rd World Tournament final.

We'll start with these, because they're tentpole moments for the series, and they define Goku's character arc so well. The Jackie Chun fight was pretty short, but it was really the first big fight in the franchise, and it set the tone for all the later battles to follow. What makes it work is how Chun is determined to keep Goku from winning, not for his own sake, but because he thinks Goku will lose interest in martial arts if he wins a big tournament on his first try. Chun entered as a ringer, but he finds Goku a lot harder to stop than he expected, and the match very nearly ends in a draw.

So you'd think Goku would be a shoo-in at the next tournament, but he has to get through Tien for that, and Tien turns out to be extremely tough and he wants to murder Goku to avenge his master's brother. It's an awesome fight, made more awesome by the way Tien's character arc begins to overtake the action itself. He starts out wanting Goku dead, then decides he'd rather fight fair because he enjoys the competition too much.

So by the time we get to the 23rd tournament, the contest itself feels like an afterthought. This is just the venue for the more important showdown between Goku and Piccolo. Except Goku still wants that World title. It means a lot to him, and no one else seems to get that. Through this whole arc, everyone is scared shitless of Piccolo, worrying that Goku might not be able to beat him. But Goku has a game plan, and he sticks to it and powers on through to victory. And yet it's still this insanely close match. I dare say this is the most even battle in the franchise, but Goku seems like an underdog to start out, and by the end of it, you see that he had things under control the whole time.

4) Goku vs. Red Ribbon Army HQ

5) Goku vs. King Piccolo

6) Goku vs. Grandpa Gohan

I guess you can call these #reference fights, because when I rewatched these episodes in 2019, I noticed how much they resembled battles I've written in to my big-ass OC fanfic. Goku just charging headlong into an army base is sort of the prototype for Saiyan mayhem, and when I started writing Luffa I quickly realized that this would have to be the sort of combat she'd be used to. There's no Vegeta or Perfect Cell to tackle a thousand years ago. She's got no rival, so her best bet is to fight large armies single-handedly, as Goku does here.

Likewise, I ended up inventing a lot of villains who think themselves invincible, only to get knocked on their ass when they find out how vincible they really are. King Piccolo's meltdown during this battle is a sight to behold, because once he starts losing, all he knows how to do is talk about his fearsome reputation, except it's completely hollow when the other guy is feeding you a can of whoop-ass. He just doesn't know how to process this beating, and that's always left an impression with me.

Let's just say, hypothetically speaking, that you had this character who has some relation to another character, and gosh, wouldn't it be nice if they could meet and fight each other, and one of them could leap forward beyond their natural lifespan to make that happen? I dunno, maybe it'd be kind of emotional? I haven't actually written anything like that so far, but if I ever do, it'll probably resemble Goku vs. Grandpa Gohan quite a bit.

Dragon Ball Z

1) Goku vs. Vegeta

I mean, what else can you say here? This one's a classic.

2) Anybody vs. Cell, pretty much.

Obviously, the Goku and Gohan fights from the Cell Games are the best of the best, but Cell's entire run in DBZ is awesome, including the fights he has with Vegeta, Trunks, Android 16, Piccolo... you just can't lose. I could go on, but I don't want to get too far down this one category.

3) Pikkon vs. Goku.

This one gets dunked on a lot because it's filler, but it's excellent. Just a friendly competition where everyone's dead and there's nothing at stake but bragging rights and fighting spirit. Pikkon's a brilliant opponent and Goku has to find a way to beat him, and that's really all the story you need, sometimes.

4) Goku-Vegeta II

This one's a bit wonky because there's no clear-cut winner and the Buu crisis overshadows it, and it doesn't quite hold up compared to the original Goku/Vegeta fight, but it's still awesome, because of the buildup and also a lot of the intensity. It kind of functions as a coda to the Androids/Cell Saga, where both guys were Super Saiyans but they never got a chance to duke it out. As it turns out, they're so evenly matched that it kind of works against the fight. One of them does a big move, and the other one just shrugs it off like nothing happened. In a way it's kind of the opposite of the Goku/Piccolo fight. When it's a couple of Super Saiyan 2's, there's just no way for anybody to pull ahead, and ultimately their battle takes on a very tragic tone, which is awesome.

5) Majin Buu vs. Everybody in Season 9.

Okay, apparently Tumblr won't let me post any more images, but that's cool, you all know what Buu looks like. I remember flipping through an issue of Beckett DBZ Collector at the grocery in 2003 or 2004, and it did this top ten fights article, with this as #1. I just liked the sheer gall of counting the entire Fusion and Kid Buu Sagas as one big fight. But let's face it, it works. From the moment Evil Buu shows up to the Spirit Bomb finale, it's basically nonstop action for Majin Buu, as he takes on one opponent after another in a zany gauntlet. And sure, I'd probably say Vegito and SSJ3 Goku were my favorite portions of that larger battle, but it's tough to isolate any one section.

Dragon Ball GT: There were no good fights in GT.

Dragon Ball Super

1) The Tournament of Power.

I suppose this also counts as one big battle, although my absolute favorite part is when Caulifla and Kale battle Goku and he ends up using Ultra Instinct to beat them.

There's also a lot to be said for Vegeta vs. God of Destruction Toppo, and the whole endgame with Jiren against Goku, 17, and Frieza. Oh, and the part where Universe 9 gets wiped out in one episode.

For my money, Dragon Ball Super doesn't really get off the blocks until the Tournament of Power begins, which has always frustrated me about DBS. It's basically one really good run of episodes at the tail end of an otherwise lackluster series. The U6 tournament was pretty weak and the Zamasu/Goku Black saga was downright pathetic.

Movie-wise... let me see here. Mystical Adventure had some good action, Dead Zone, Cooler 1, Super Android 13, Broly 1, Fusion Reborn and Wrath of the Dragon were classics, and Battle of Gods and Super Broly had some excellent fights too.

And yeah, I think that about covers it.

[pocminiseries]

Body Smile

pairing: Park Jimin x OC

genre: smut, romance, fanfiction, interracial

warnings: mature themes, explicit language, 18+ content, etc.

synopsis: He was no longer the boy she had grew up falling in love with.

____

CAM.

Prologue.

Six hours.

That's how long she had been studying for her final exams. She sighed loudly, closing her notes and allowed herself to have a mini break. A soft moan passed through her lips as she stretched in her desk chair and sunk back against the soft leather that has molded around her shapely frame.

Taking a swig of her now slightly warm sweet tea, she opened her MacBook Pro and decided to check her emails that her professors had sent of her current grades. 

The last thing Aliyah wanted to be in college was a bum. Unlike most of her peers, she actually wanted to make something for herself once she graduated.

Just as she was about to read an email, her imessage began to go with an incoming facetime call from her best friend. "Yessss." Aliyah answered in a singing manner once she hit accept.

"Aww, you didn't have to dress all sexy for me mami." Hazel smirked playfully, her wild mane of blonde curls framing her pretty face perfectly.

Aliyah looked down at her Super Saiyan Goku shirt and electric blue lace panties before shaking her head. "Shut up." Even with her rich russet skin tone, Hazel still managed to see a hint of red grace Aliyah's cheeks. Hazel always thought it was cute how shy she easily became when anyone flirted or even gave her a compliment.

"Let me guess, studying?" 

"Finals are in two days, Haze. You should be studying too." While Aliyah was well aware of how much of a nerd she can be, it has somewhat rubbed off on her friends. She just wanted to see the crew succeed.

Hazel made a "duh" face, rolling her eyes dramatically. "And I have, I promise. I'm as ready as I'll ever be thanks to you constantly reminding me every chance you got." Which she appreciated nonetheless because she knew to have real friends around her mattered.

"You'll thank me once we're walking across the stage to get our degrees." Aliyah reminded her. "And I'll be three hundred dollars richer too, don't forget that."

Aliyah's loud laugh filled her room from the way Hazel looked at her. Clearly, she must've thought that their bet that they made freshman year had been forgotten. Nah. "But I was just playing when I said that. We're in college bestie."

Aliayh looked away for a second then back at Hazel. "So?"

"Sooo, that means I'm broke bitch." 

Turning her head a little to the side, Aliayh crossed her arms and stared at Hazel accusingly. "Now why you gotta lie like that Haze? You come from money. Hell, your parents practically throw thousands at you weekly. All that expensive shit you got proves it. The clothes, the jewelry, shopping trips you take and don't get me started on your ca-"

"Alright damn, I get it," Hazel interjected, rolling onto her back on her bed, revealing a see-through bra. If there was one thing Aliayh has come to learn about Hazel was that the woman was never shy about her sexuality or being comfortable in her own skin.

"I'm just teasing. You can pay me by buying me food." 

"Basically what I've been doing forever," Hazel replied. "I might as well be your boyfriend."

"Please don't say it."

"Call me daddy."

Oh god. Aliyah rubbed her forehead, deciding to let what she heard slide. "Anyways, what's up? I know you didn't call me to talk about school work."

"True. Do you like Asian men?" Hazel asked casually, looking at Aliyah's now confused face.

"Umm, I guess," Aliyah answered, not expecting that to be what she wanted to talk about. "Why?"

The evil smile that graced Hazel's face made her nervous. "Well, I have something I wanted to share with you. Think of it as an early graduation gift."

"I don't want it." Aliyah quickly declined her "gift" because Hazel was always into some weird kinky shit.

"C'mon Liyah, you'll like it I promise. Besides, you should be thanking me since you refused every dick I've thrown your way." It has been two years since Aliyah has been with anyone on that level and ever since then Hazel, along with Tori and Aisha has made it their mission to get her laid. It wasn't as if sex was something that was hard to come by, especially on campus. But Aliyah had standards and she couldn't see herself just allowing anyone to slid up in her.

That wasn't the move.

"Fine, what is it?" Though Aliyah was hesitant, she was very curious.

Hazel smiled widely showing off those perfectly white teeth of hers. "You ever heard of cam boys?"

"Yeah, they do...shows," Aliyah stated, struggling a little to find the right word. "But you have to pay for it though. I'm not spending money just to watch a man jerk off Haze." There were literally thousands of free videos of men doing just that floating around the internet aka Pornhub.

"That may be true but this one is special," Hazel responded, putting emphasis on the word special.

Aliyah raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? How so?" There was only so much she figured a man could do as a cam boy that would be considered "special".

"For one they call him ChimChim an-...what's so funny?" Hazel asked with a pout.

"Of all the names he could've chosen, he picked ChimChim? That sounds random and corny as hell Haze." Aliyah laughed loudly, clapping her hands, reminding Hazel of a seal.

"Whatever. As I was saying LOVERBOY, is pretty popular. His shows always get thousands of views but he only streams once a week. Tori had suggested him to me a few days ago. Said he had her coming multiple times on one stream alone." Hazel gushed excitedly. 

"Ok, good for her I guess. I'm guessing you want me to experience what she had?" Aliyah assumed, surprised that she was actually considering what Hazel was offering her.

"Bingo. Just see for yourself, you might enjoy it." Hazel shrugged, propping herself up on her pillows. "And it's just your luck that he has a stream tonight, as a matter of fact, it should be starting...now." She said after checking the time on her phone.

"I c-"

"I already paid for it, so enjoy yourself. I sent you the link. Bye!" Hazel rushed out, ending the call without giving Aliyah a chance to respond.

Sighing to herself, she looked at the link in her messages and debated on opening it for a good five minutes. "What's the worst that could happen?" She whispered to herself, finally clicking the link to reveal a site that had his name plastered at the top of it.

Her mouse hovered over the 'enter video' clickable, not really believing that she was about to do this. Throwing all caution to the wind, she clicked the link, covering most of her eyes as the video popped up to reveal someone that made her body freeze.

With wide eyes, she took in the male seating back comfortably in his chair. His long-sleeved black shirt was pulled up a little, giving his 16,278 viewers a peek of his abs. He sported a pair of blue jeans that were ripped at the knees and hung low on his hips revealing his Calvin Klein boxer briefs. She blinked rapidly at the familiar face that stared into the camera biting his lip in a teasing manner.

Six years have passed since she has last seen him but she knew his face. He looked the same as back then but different all at once. Of course, they have grown over the years and features change but she knew without a doubt that it had to be him.

He was a bit taller now, his natural black hair color was now blonde and it suited him perfectly. Skin that was slightly tanned looked smooth to touch. Even his smile had gotten more beautiful. Those plump lips still looked inviting and dark piercing eyes that made her "peach" feel a certain type of way.

It had to be him.

"K-kadien?"

[fandom-trash-xl]

One-Shot: Light in a Wicked Heart (200 Followers Special)

I've decided to bring out another fanfiction, this time focusing on Frost. I made use of some Universe 6 Saga dialogue about Frost's past and decide to incorporate it into a larger story.

Time Placement: Age 777 (3 years prior to the Tournament of Destroyers)

OCs:

- Lord Shiver: Frost's father, 2nd form Icejin with blue-gray and light gray colorations

- Kossetsu: Young child of the Planet Mayonnai

- Kensa: Young adult of the Planet Mayonnai

- Bruselle: Young female Saiyan of the Sadalan Defense Force, a member of Cabba's squadron

- Carotine: Young male Saiyan of the Sadalan Defense Force, a member of Cabba's squadron

- Rhubar: Young male Saiyan of the Sadalan Defense Force, a member of Cabba's squadron

(AGE 777, GALACTIC DAY 295)

The small overseer ship floated gently in the thin stratosphere of the planet Mayonnai, a planet known for... well, no one was particularly sure. But, two space pirates knew that this planet was sure to bring results.

A young blue two-horned lizard, known by many as an Icejin, or Ice Demon, eagerly peered through the massive observation deck window at the dust-colored planet below. This was Frost, the single son of the once-famed crime lord Shiver. Obviously, Shiver's ways had rubbed off on him, as he spent his days travelling the galaxy with his father and pillaging planets.

"Quite the divine pearl, isn't it, boy?" Shiver spoke from behind him, casting a large shadow. "What did the reports say it was called again?"

"I believe it's called Mayonnai, father. Supposedly, asking prices are up to 40,000 Galactic Zen per acre." Frost replied.

"Rather large price for a planet that seems to have no culture to speak of."

"One shouldn't judge a book by its cover, or more precisely, a planet by its surface." The younger Icejin removed his glance from the window and turned to grab a solid black cape from a small metal rack. He pinned it to the shoulder plates of his dark blue armor. "I suppose you want me to go down there? Assess the situation from up close?"

Shiver laughed, teeth gritted in a smile. "Obviously, I can't. Too many people know my name. Go nuts, kid. Just don't do anything you might regret."

The surface of Mayonnai was as dust-colored as the view from space. It was littered with bustling marketplaces. It didn't seem like an ideal place to live, but the consumerism may have been the reason for high demand in land.

Frost had been indecisive on tactics on how to conquer such a busy place, so he had chosen to stay for awhile to plan his troops' approach. He had helped himself to some of the planet's local wares, particularly some baked confections.

And he could finally understand why people wanted to purchase stock in this planet. It was to die for!

Frost had found himself in the middle of the marketplace square and was preparing to report back to his father when he noticed... him.

He was a rather petite creature that seemed to be made entirely of shadows. He had teeny horns, a spiked tail, and torn-up wings. The only bright part of his body was a pair of glowing yellow eyes. He seemed rather malnourished, but was still at a small working post, shining a much larger gentlemen's boots. The creature seemed to have been keeled over for quite some time. He finished his polishing job with a heavy sigh, only for the man to leave ungrateful and flick him a small silver coin. He caught it eagerly as if his life depended on it.

"Another step forward," The creature looked at his reflection in the coin with the simultaneous feelings of worry and hope. "Soon, I'll have enough to be free of this place..." As he turned to add his silver coin to a bucket of change, a slim tall figure, who seemed to be of the same species as the young child, approached.

"Alright, Kossetsu. Let's see what you made this shift."

"I made enough." Kossetsu held his bucket of change close. "Now, go away,  Kensa!"

Kensa swiped the bucket from Kossetsu despite his refusal. "Don't be difficult!" He began to rifle through the coins. "Ah, you've made quite a lot for a polisher. Now, how shall we divide this up today? For your split, let's say..." He looked down at the young Mayonnai child. "What you've got in your claws should suffice. Rest goes to the boss." Kossetsu looked at the lone coin before he started to snarl and his beady eyes filled with tears.

"That's not fair! I worked my arse off for all that!" He jumped onto Kensa and tried to pull the bucket back. 

The latter struggled against him. "Listen, it's not my job to go against the boss's order-"

"Hey!"

Kensa and Kossetsu both turned to see Frost, who was none too pleased. "Let that kid alone, unless you intend to deal with me."

Kensa dropped the child and spread his wings. "Really? What could a common tourist do to one of the strongest of Planet Mayon-"

A red blast struck Kensa in the shoulder, causing him to tense up in major pain. "Sorry, I wasn't trying that time. Shall I try again, seriously this time?" Frost's tail swished, anticipating a challenge. The pained creature ran away in a panic, coins fluttering out of the bucket. 

Kossetsu stumbled to his feet and started to scrounge for the dropped money. "T-thank you, m-mister..."

"Frost. And it was no trouble." He helped him scrape the coins into a small pile.

"Oh. It's nice to meet you. My name's Kossetsu. That was just my caretaker, Kensa."

"Caretaker, hm? Then why does he try to hurt you?"

"The man in charge of us orphans is a heartless scumbag. Kensa doesn't want to hurt me, but the boss tells him the only important thing is money. If I could actually keep most of mine, I could probably buy my way out of here."

Frost frowned. He was a profit-seeking criminal as well, but... not to such a cruel extent. "Listen here a sec." He pulled a confection out of his back and handed it to Kossetsu. "I don't have much to offer on my person at the moment, but this should tide you over. At least until tomorrow." He muttered under his breath. "I can probably pull a few strings..."

"What?"

"Nothing. Just rest well this evening. Let's just say that your tomorrow looks prosperous."

(GALACTIC DAY 296) 

Frost stood in a shaded corner of the Mayonnai marketplace, trying to stay out of sight. His cape blew in the slow wind. His troops had been put into place and it was almost their cue to strike. Three things were on the Ice Demon's mind: combat, profit...

...and the young boy. 

Meanwhile, four Saiyan scouts of the Planet Sadala were scouring the marketplace. As a protectorate of the Saiyan homeworld, Mayonnai had small troops of watchful Saiyan eyes, scanning the perimeter, ready to defend.

The lone female Saiyan of the group, dressed in green, gold, and pink and wearing her spiked hair in a messy bun, sighed heavily. "Cabba, I don't see any threats in sight. Tell me again why we're still scouring?"

"I understand why you're getting antsy over this, Bruselle, but the Captain said there were reports of Lord Shiver's band of space pirates in the stratosphere." Cabba, a young Saiyan teen in blue, replied. He was somewhat anxious of the situation. If the villains were to strike, wouldn't they have done it already? 

As the elite continued along the line of vendors, a sudden and echoing blast came from a small section of houses. 

"They're here..." Cabba jolted at the sound, then turned to his two other teammates, one in orange and the other in burgundy. "Carotine, you take the east. Rhubar, you take west. Bruselle and I will take the square." The Saiyan pressed a button on his temple, activating a full blue visor. 

"Let's show these punks what for!"

The attack was right on schedule. Frost lept in from the shadows, appearing in front of the troops, right in sight of several Mayonnai children working, most likely the mistreated orphans of the plan. "Children! Inside! All of you!" He commanded. The beings did as told and herded into an empty building. "Don't worry, I'll protect you." He had to make sure they were all alright. He couldn't have his father's plan ruin his own plan to save Kossetsu. "Now, punks, prepare yourself to face the storm..."

Suddenly, a spiky-haired girl slipped into the group and knocked down some of the grunts with a savage low kick.

"Sh-t, no one told me the Sadalan Saiyan Squadrons would be here." The Ice Demon cursed under his breath. A second Saiyan leaped into battle, performing a barrage of ki blast spin kicks. 

"Tch, out of my way, Saiyans! I can handle this!" Frost tripped a soldier with his tail, then grabbed his neck with his legs, flipping him over in a somersault. He tumbled into a row of remaining troops, creating a domino effect. 

"He's good." Bruselle snarled. "But, we don't take orders from hopeless vigilantes. Right, Cabba?" Cabba was standing stunned in awe. "Cabba?!"

"I-I can't believe it- It's him!" Cabba's knees were shaking. "It's the planetary hero, Frost. From all the magazines!"

"I don't care who it is!" His partner barked. "We can't let this punk steal our thunder. Snap out of it, Cabba!"

Cabba nodded. "Yes. Of course." He rushed back into fight, swiftly bashing in a few villains' heads with a kick. He attempted to recreate Frost's grab, only to stumble and knock over only one. 

"Nice attempt, but I'll show you how a real fighter handles this." Frost propelled himself off of one of the grunts' heads and hooked his feet to loose bricks on the corner of a nearby building. A barrage of red Death Beams came from his outstretched finger. He laughed maniacally as the foes were struck. A beam barely missed Bruselle.

"The hell?! It's like the bastard is trying to kill me!"

"Never mind that, Bruselle! We're all clear in this sector!"

"Yeah, thanks to Mister Showoff here." Bruselle grumbled.

Cabba turned to look over at Frost, who was brushing the dust off his armor and cape. He was much more impressive than the articles had described him as. He was stunning, eye-catching... and pretty darn attractive.

"Bruselle, if you don't mind, I-I think I'm going to talk to him." Cabba stuttered.

"Sure thing, give him a piece of my mind."

The young Saiyan approached the Icejin with hesitancy. "Um, sir, would you happen to be Frost? The famed planetary protector?"

"Ah, I see I'm well known even amongst the Saiyans." Frost laughed a little and extended his hand. "It's a pleasure meeting a fan!"

"Uh, y-yes, a pleasure to meet you too. I-I'm Cabba." Cabba grabbed Frost's hand and felt his face glowing with heat. "I must say, compared to in the magazines, you're a lot more handsome in real life-" He panicked. "I-I mean, more heroic- Just forget I said anything!"

"No problem, good sir." Frost let go. "I must being going anyways. It's been a pleasure, Cabba!" He turned to enter the building containing the young Mayonnai children.

All of the young creatures flocked around the heroic Ice Demon. One in particular with ripped wings came to the front. Kossetsu. 

"Mister Frost, I knew you'd come back!"

"Yes, and I've come for an important reason. I'm here to set you all free."

The children cheered in excitement over being freed from the tyranny. "Now, let's get-"

"Hey! Punk!" 

Frost turned to see another Mayonnai being. He was rather short, but seemed to an adult. He was standing on a chair to gain some height. "What do you think you're doing with my workers?"

"It's called liberation, wise guy. It is my duty to free these innocents from oppression."

"Not if I have anything to say about it. These little workers have made me a fortune, and you can't take them from me!" The older man pulled a taser from his desk. "Leave this planet now or I'll be forced to use this."

"I see you're well armed. But, I am too." A small needle extended from Frost's wrist.

"Heh, you intend to defeat me with a pin? Think again, bud."

"I could tell you the same thing."

The Ice Demon lunged at the boss, who promptly activated the electric taser. Before the sparks could reach him, Frost managed to shoot the thorn from his wrist. It implanted itself in the boss's neck. The weapon flickered off and the villain began to feel faint.

"W-what did you d-do to me? W-why are y-you s-sideways?" Shortly after, the boss fell to the ground. He could have been unconscious, he could have been dead. Frost didn't care which. 

"Now, where were we?" Frost turned to the children. "Oh, that's right. Freedom." All of them cheered. "Now before I depart, I'll give you the best advice I can offer. Whatever happens, never give up. Always get back on your feet. Farewell children of Mayonnai." 

"Thank you for all you help Mister Frost." Kossetsu spoke to the Ice Demon as he prepared to depart through the back door. "I'll never forget you."

Frost paused. Something inside him was telling him he couldn't leave Kossetsu here. "Oh, I just remembered." He turned back. "I have to make an adoption first." He lowered to face the torn-winged creature. "Kossetsu, how would you like to come with me?"

The creature eagerly spread out his wings, small tears forming in his neon yellow eyes. "Yes. Yes, I will."

"Frost, what did you bring back?" Shiver asked with confusion. "Some sort of animal?"

"No, father. It's a person."

"You took a hostage? Impressive, son!"

"No!" He set down Kossetsu. "He's not a hostage, and his name is Kossetsu."

"Oh Champa almighty, you gave it a name?!" Shiver held his head. "You're not supposed to get attached to these creatures. They don't live as long as us. It's going to die one day and you'll regret ever naming it in the first place."

"I don't care that I'll outlive him. I'm keeping him. Now, if you don't mind, Kossetsu needs some food. He's been starving for some time now."

"Son, we do not waste our food on the peasants."

"Well, maybe you don't, but I'm not as heartless as you, father." Frost led Kossetsu into another room. "Come on, kid. Let's go somewhere with less scumbags."

(GALACTIC DAY 303)

It had been a week since Frost had brought in Kossetsu. The Ice Demon had kept a watchful eye on the child and had him accompany him on various conquests.

Today was another one of those conquests and Frost was in search of his small companion. He was a bit panicked. He hoped that he wasn't in danger. He felt responsible for his well-being.

"Father, Kossetsu isn't anywhere in the ship."

"That is correct, son." Shiver replied.

"What do you mean by that?" Frost's eyes narrowed.

"I let that wretched thing free this morning."

"You WHAT?!"

"Set it free. It's gone. You have to let things go eventually. I sent it to the ice moon of Kadaver, into the wild where it belongs."

"He can't survive there!" Frost rushed to grab his cloak. "I'm going after him."

"You can't, Frost." Shiver turned to his son. "You'll freeze to death down there!"

"Better me than him." The younger Icejin put the hood up on his cloak and determinedly open the ship's exit hatch.

The ice moon of Kadaver was a barren wasteland of snow. Thankfully, Kossetsu's dark figure would easily stand out in the blizzard. 

On the down side, Frost realized his father was right. He'd have to find him quickly, or he'd probably be an ice block.

Out of the snow came a small shadowy figure, its wings spread. Kossetsu, no doubt.

"Kossetsu, I'm here! Don't panic!" Frost rushed to the child through the tundra. He was in high pursuit, until...

A much larger creature, almost wolf-like swooped in, grabbing the Mayonnai child in its maw. "No!" 

Kossetsu tried to wriggle out of the wolf being's jaws to no avail. "Help me!"

"Let him go, you beast!"

The creature started to form a more humanoid bipedal shape. "Hmph, this is my prey. What makes you think you can take it from me, tiny?"

Frost snarled. "Because no one hurts Kossetsu and gets away with it!"  He rushed into the wolf beast, feeling his entire body engulfed with an unusual energy. He seemed to change further the closer he got. When he finally made contact, he was entirely different. His armor had broken off, he was much slimmer, and he no longer had horns. It must have been a strong new form, as he had managed to send the creature flying and free Kossetsu from its jaws.

The wolf was crippled from the impact and was coughing blood. Despite its already major injuries, Frost still felt an instinct to continue fighting it. He kicked the beast skyward and swiftly punched it straight through the gut, impaling it. Blood was spread on his arm. So much damage through his fury  had been done, though he felt  as if he hadn't put much effort into his attacks. Was this the might of his new form? It was... 

...terrifying.

He removed his fist from the deceased beast and tried to clean the wolf blood from his body with his tattered cloak.

Kossetsu rushed up to the newly transformed Ice Demon. "M-Mister Frost, are you alright?" His voice was growing weak, probably from the cold. "I-I wanna go home. I'm c-cold..."

"Kossetsu, I was so worried!" He grabbed his tiny friend in a frenzied hug. "I thought I'd lose you! Please tell me you're okay, Kosse-" The creature was silent. He looked at the child. He was paralyzed, his breathing had stopped.

"Kossetsu..." 

His neck had been snapped. 

And it was because of Frost's own uncontrollable strength.

"No...

No...

No....!"

(GALACTIC DAY 304)

Frost woke up within his father's ship, facing the ceiling.  His breathing was being paced by a oxygen mask. Had he passed out?

"Sir, he's awake."

Shiver entered his sight. "Son, are you alright? You were out cold. Quite literally might I add."

Frost pulled the oxygen mask off of his face and began to position himself upright. "I... had the strangest dream..."

"Hm. In said dream, were you in a different form, perhaps?"

The younger Icejin paused. "How did you know the very specific part of my dream?"

"Because it wasn't a dream, son." Shiver passed him a hand mirror. Frost's eyes widened. It was the form... The form of uncontrollable strength. There were even still a few droplets of wolf blood on his face. The mirror snapped in his hand almost immediately. "You unlocked your final form, Frost. I'm proud of you."

However, instead of pride or joy, Frost felt two different emotions. Fury and pain. Tears came from his eyes as he sat in silence. 

"Why aren't you happy about this, kid? Reaching the final form is a pivotal point in every young Icejin's life."

"Because...." Frost snarled. "I don't want to be in this form anymore. Tell me how to transform back."

"Why would you want to go back, son? If it's the whole 'breaking things in your hands' thing, that'll stop soon once your power settles."

"It's not that! This uncontrollable might... it kills. This form is the reason why Kossetsu is dead! Tell me how to transform back, now!"

"Well, that's no big deal. The thing was going to die anyway-"

Shiver was interrupted by his son's hand around his throat.

"F-Frost! What the hell are you doing?!" He managed to croak.

"Now, do you see why I want to go back?! All this form does is hurt people!"

"Frost, you have to give your newfound power a chance!"

"Tell me how to transform back, now!" Frost turned to put his other hand around Shiver's neck until the older Icejin finally kneed him in the stomach, sending him backward. 

"Fine, kid. I'll tell you, once you calm down."

Frost simply stood up and walked off. "Tch." He scoffed, thinking back to the time when there was light in his wicked heart.

[tumblunni]

BECAUSE YOU SHOULD ALL LOVE CHUPPY TOO

Facts About Chuppy Who Is The Best And Made Of Fluff And Marshmallow In He Little Pika Soul

* He was my first lil bean in my first pokemon game ever. I didnt even know that Yellow was a special edition, i just knew it was the newest one so my parents assumed there was no point getting red and blue. I guess they were lucky that it actually did work that way for these games, but it led to some confusion when they assumed that every series worked like fifa. I'd been watching the anime for almost a year before then, so i was SO excited to finally play the game for myself!!

* i was suuuper young tho and made loads of dumbass moves. This is why i'm so super attatched to Chuppy, i literally did not catch a single other pokemon in that entire playthrough. I also missed out on most of Yellow's entire gimmick because i IMMEDIATELY traded with a friend to get past the restrictions and evolve my buddy bean into a raichu. It was my favourite and i still kinda like it better than pikachu, sorry. But i guess i dont have that option in the remake, alas! It was a real dumb move tho cos i had no idea evolved pokemon have different movesets, so Chuppy literally never learned a single electric type move and spent the whole game relying on the Mega Punch and Mega Kick TMs. So lol he's a big cuddly fat bunny bean but he's also Super Strong Martial Arts Pika! Well i mean rabbits do have powerful kicks and pikachu does look at least 50% bunny. Also oddly enough i kinda predicted Iron Tail? Pikachu doesnt really have the arm length to punch, lol. So i always pictured him using his tail like a fist and then that did end up becoming one of its signature moves in the anime later!

* Oh and another hilarious fail of baby me! I actually learned to read through playing this game, it was my first game ever and the text heavy nature with simple child friendly dialogue was a really great way to learn. I owe it all to this game that i was way ahead of the class in literature for basically my entire academic career for the rest of my life. My double award A Star in English Sixth Form is all owed to Chuppy! :3

* OH LOL WHERE WAS I! Yeah, his name! So yeah i didnt know how to read and I..uhh..attempted to write pikachu backwards. "Chupi" which is NOWHERE CLOSE, WTF KID ME. But i pronounced it more like Chuppy than "choo pi" so i changed the spelling later once i had more of a grasp on How Words Wordinate. Uhcakip would have been cool too, but it sounds more like some kind of evil wizard! ...okay that might be cool, i wanna see a gandalf costume if we ever see a cosplay pika return.

* I used to draw him as red for some reason? i think i misinterpreted the raichu sprite that colour before i saw its official art and then i just thoughy it looked cooler that way so i made it his Interesting OC Trait. I dunno if i'd really keep that if i drew him again nowadays, but its why i really love Gorochu and wish it would become canon! I saw fanart of it being red and like a bigger chubbier raichu and im like Ayy It's My Boyyyy~!! Actually that'd be a cool oc premise, that he was actually this super rare primal reversion secret evolution but he was just found by a tiny innocent kiddo who didnt know he was anything out of the ordinary. "My pika is so big cos i love him bigly!"

* Oh and about my headcanons for him, yes!! He doesn't have as much of a deep inner life as my later ocs, when i was a teen i started to prefer reinterpreting it as a world where pokemon could all talk and were more like my friends, but for Chuppy i treated him like my pet bunny. So he was just a chumby innocent bean who loves neck scritches and naps in the sun and i cut him little fruit and vegetable slices and i brush the tangles out his fur and we are very happy together. The personality he had aside from just "the best possible pet" was also that he was very lazy but also very protective of his trainer and of anyone else who was weak and needed saving. He was like a goofy comic relief who could be a real badass when he got serious! And well yeah, he was my solo run for not only this game but also the entirety of gen 2. I didnt even use my starter there, i just transferred him over and continued literally bitchslapping everyone with this thunder mouse that cant thunder. The Strongest Chub.

* Oh yeah and thats also the most important fact about him, he is Big Orb. I thought pikachu was cute but i loved it even better in that one particular trading card where its Maximum Fat Pikachu. Like we all know that pikachu used to he more mouse shaped and then got redesigned around the johto anime and i Hated It Forever and will never stop mourning the chubbachu. But like even when it was already fat there was like GOD TIER even fatter chu on that one singular artwork and my little kid brain was sparked into a lifelong interest in character design because that was just SO MUCH A BETTER ONE and i could not wrap my head around the fact they didnt pick it! WHO COULD EVER NOT WANT ORBULAR CHU?? So Chuppy was just That One and then a hypothetical raichu redesign following the same lines. Oh and he was also mega fluffy and also like..big as in tall too. "Pikachu would be better if i struggled to carry it" thought young me. Like when he was a raichu he was doberman sized! Almost up to the kid protagonist's shoulder! And so round and so buried in long fur and just so...CHUPPY!! Seriously i didnt even learn the word chubby as a synonym for larj until years later, its such a good coincidence that i gave him the most perfect name. I propose that it should officially become the new slang for even more huggable large bunnies! Its like he's so chubby his bs fell upside down from the SHEER POWER xD I'm excited to play this remake cos now im a very chuppy-sized adult myself and i actually could pick him up now. And probably carry my child self in a piggyback ride, and man that poor kid needed something like that. Glad i had good nostalgic videogames even if i was lacking in good real life role models, alas

* ANYWAY

* in summary just imagine me holding the least pikachu shaped pikachu with the reverance of a man holding a small pope, glaring at you if you even dare insult my child. Also he's like the most powerful super saiyan. I say as he walks past in the background with his feet stuck in cups.

* plz love chuppy. chuppy love u <3

[duhragonball]

Yamcha if you're still doing the character meme?

I am still doing these, and I’m enjoying it, so keep ‘em coming.   Before I start, let me promote the original post, in case anyone else wants to start their own thing.  I’d link to the OP, but I guess they deleted this from their blog, probably because their notifications went nuts.

Give me a character and I will answer:

Why I like them: Let’s be honest, Yamcha doesn’t get a lot of big “hero moments” in Dragon Ball.   Or Dragon Ball Z, or Dragon Ball GT, or Dragon Ball Su-- Look, you get the idea.   In most arcs, he’s the first one to get benched.   In tournaments, he always loses in the first round.   He spent the King Piccolo Saga recovering from a broken leg.    Against the Saiyans, he was the first one to die.  Against the Androids, he was nearly killed and had to sit out the rest of that arc.   In the Buu Sagas he was retired.    In a number of major storylines, he just isn’t there, because no one called him.

But he remains a fixture in the franchise anyway, because he’s always showing up for more.  Let’s take the Buu Saga as an example.   It didn’t surprise me to find out he had retired, mainly from a dramatic standpoint.    There’s a lot of new characters in the Buu arc, and it made sense for some of the older characters to step aside and make room for them.   But he’s still there, because he wants to see Goku one last time, and he wants to hang out with his friends and watch some of them kick the crap out of each other.   It was kind of sad to see him stay behind while the others rushed off to follow the Supreme Kai, but he’s retired, after all.    Also, they didn’t stop to fill him in on what was happening.    I suspect he might have tagged along if they asked.  

As it was, he still ended up getting involved, and he was with the Dragon Team right up until Super Buu cornered them on the Lookout.     And the next time we see him, he’s on the Grand Kai Planet with Krillin, and King Kai seriously considers sending them in to take on Buu in case Goku and Vegeta can’t get the job done.   

And that’s a big deal, because it even comes up in the anime.   King Kai tells them that he arranged for them to keep their bodies as a precaution, but he’s totally in favor of letting them remain on the Grand Kai Planet with all of the other honored warriors, like Goku.  So you start with this desert bandit, a highwayman without a highway, probably because he’s afraid of all the women that use the interstate.   But he gradually overcomes his fears and insecurities, never completely, but just enough to put one foot in front of the other and become a better man.    And finally he ends up receiving a place among the great heroes of old.  

So why doesn’t that get more attention?   You could make a whole epic story out of that, except it’s not Yamcha’s story.  He’s a supporting character.   So the franchise itself tends to play it down.    Even Yamcha doesn’t really take it all that seriously.   I don’t know if that’s modesty or cluelessness or Big Himbo Energy or what, but that’s why it’s so easy for everyone to write him off as a loser or a failure.   They’re overlooking the bigger picture.

The best way to illustrate this is with this TFS short that serves as an epilogue to their DBZ Abridged series.   Yamcha goes back to playing baseball for the Taitans, only to get fired, because he’s so talented that he’s literally broken the game, and no one buys tickets anymore.    But he gets a gigantic severance package, and he still goes down in history as the greatest ballplayer in history.  What always gets to me is that they have to explain to him that this is actually a win.  As his coach puts it, “you do nothing but win.”   

Like Yamcha himself, we often see him from the lens of these insane Dragon Ball adventures, where you have to have glowy hair and a hot cyborg wife to be considered a success.   But to the rest of the world, he’s a jacked up millionaire with fantastic hair, and he’s a real sweetheart.   Who couldn’t like this dude?

Why I don’t: As you may have noticed, I tend to only use this section to talk about why I disliked the characters initially.   I have to think back to 1999 when I was still having trouble keeping track of who’s who.   In particular, I found Yamcha’s presence frustrating because he looked and dressed almost exactly like Goku, but not quite, which seemed bizarre.    Later, I picked up on the context, and it didn’t bother me as much.  

Yamcha does have a bit of an overconfident streak in some situations, which might look like unfounded arrogance, but I think it’s really just his carefree nature and enthusiastic can-do spirit.   He was confident about their chances against the Saiyans, but I don’t think that was him being cocky.   He just knew they had all trained hard and he was stronger than he’d ever been.    But that’s easy for people to jump on as a reason to hate the guy.  

Future Trunks claimed that he fooled around while he was involved with Bulma, but come on.    Does anyone really buy that?    Besides, at best, that would only apply to Future Yamcha, the one who died in the other timeline.   Once Trunks changed the past, all bets were off.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): I’m gonna get a little nuts here and go with TFS’s playthrough of Legacy of Goku I, where they decided to level up Yamcha and have him solo Broly.

Basically, in an RPG game like this, Wolf Fang Fist can do monster damage, so they maxed out Yamcha’s stats to wreck the game’s hidden superboss.  You have to skip to 1:40:00 or so to see the successful attempt, but I loved this video.   This is where I learned to respect the utterance of “Roga... fufuken!”  Broly probably would have respected it, too, except he died from all those hits he took.

Favorite season/movie: You know, that fight with Tien was a classic.   Not sure it’s in my top ten, but it’s on a lot of people’s lists, and I absolutely get that.

Dumb as it may sound, I enjoyed seeing Yamcha in the hospital, wrestling with his own despair as he recuperated from his broken leg.   And when he shows up at the end to congratulate Tien and accepts Tien’s apology, well, like I said, Yamcha has this great character arc, but it’s easy to overlook with everything else that goes on.

Favorite line: I forget which game it was in, maybe Budokai 3, but one of his pre-fight taunts is “Watch this, Puar!  I’m gonna win!”, which always makes me think of Puar sitting just off-camera, watching the action from a little lawn chair.  

Favorite outfit:

I may take some heat for this, but I like the Androids/Cell Saga version of Yamcha, with the short, spiky hair.  This dude’s long, luxurious rockstar ‘do is a national treasure, sure, but I dig this look more.  

Also, I consider Yamcha to be the only guy from the Turtle School who pulls off the slippers and no-blue-undershirt look.   It looks off when I see it on Krillin and Goku, but with Yamcha it just feels right. 

OTP: This guy gets shipped with a lot of people, probably because he’s one of the major characters without an established love interest.   Folks still carry a torch for Bulma, some people ship him with Tien, Frieza hit on him in FighterZ, and I’m still trying to make sense of that.   He flirts with your character in the Xenoverse games.    Years ago, I considered doing something with that, but I’ve fleshed out my OC enough to where I don’t think that fits. 

At the end of the day, I can only see Yamcha getting together with @cozymochi ‘s OC, Marzi.  

Brotp: Tien, Krillin, Goku.  Hell, I always figured Yamcha was one of the few people Vegeta could get along with to some extent.  

I mean, Tien couldn’t stand to be one the same planet as Vegeta, but Yamcha keeps coming over to have hot dogs at Bulma’s place, long after the Namekians have left.  

Head Canon: He’s Luffa’s type, don’t get me wrong.    I just don’t see any room in my fic for a whirlwind courtship.    The stars just don’t align.

Unpopular opinion: I’m not really behind this notion that they should give the humans more stuff to do in future series.   When it comes to supporting characters, sometimes they get phased out, and there’s no point in phasing them back in unless there’s a compelling story idea for them.   

I think it’s dumb how they teased Yamcha in the Tournament of Power prelude, only to leave him out of the tournament itself.    On the other hand, they put Tien on the team and barely used him, which tells me that even if they’d put Yamcha on the team, it wouldn’t have amounted to anything.   

I get it, people love these characters and want to see them used more, but I’d rather have one strong Yamcha story than a hundred non-starters.  And at this point, I think the only thing anyone can do is rely on fan-created content.    Be the change you want to see in the world.

A wish: Crap, it’s after ten pm.    I dunno, I wish Marzi was canon.  

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I feel like the character’s already been through worse than I could come up with for him.   

5 words to best describe them: Cat loves food, yeah yeah yeah.   That’s six, but who cares?

My nickname for them: Yeah, I don’t have one.

[duhragonball]

Cult Classic

I had a really exhausting week, so I’m going to try to chill out by writing this thing about cults that’s been bouncing around in my head since... oh, like January 6th?   For some reason?     But it’s also about my insanely long OC fanfic slash vanity project slash concept album.  Join me, won’t you?

Okay, so back in... geez 2018?   Has it been that long?   Around October 2018 I started working out the details for the big climax of the “1000 years ago” section of my fanfic.  From the start I had this idea that the Legendary Super Saiyan would be locked into a death struggle with pretty much the entire Saiyan population, led by a Saiyan King who just can’t handle being upstaged.   But I had to figure out a lot of details to make that actually work.   What I finally ended up with was the Jindan Cult. 

Why a cult?  Because I wanted my King character to be the main villain, but also be physically weaker, but also he needed to be powerful enough to challenge the heroine. I came up with all these different ways to beef up his power level without making him a Super Saiyan himself, but ultimately I wanted him to have an army of Siayans at his back.   That led me to consider some sort of magic elixir that would make them all stronger, but especially the king, since he’s ultimately in this for himself.  At first, I considered having him mind-control all of his goons, but I spent the mind control nickel in earlier arcs, and I’ll have to use it again later, because Towa and Demigra use it.   Then I thought of drug addiction, which is sort of like mind control but not literal brainwashing or anything like that.  And that led me to the cult concept.  

One major inspiration for me was the real-life cult called “NXIVM”, which made the news back in 2018 when their leaders started getting arrested, including “Smallville” star Allison Mack.   Every time I read about it, it felt like something from a movie, but it was real.   I guess the celebrity angle made it more bizarre to me, because it’s sort of like “Hey, this isn’t just some group of randos; someone you’ve heard of is in this thing.”   Not that I ever paid much attention to “Smallville”, but you get the idea.  She didn’t just join NXIVM, she eventually became one of the top recruiters.   Some of the character arcs in my fic were my own attempt to understand how a person goes from Point A to Point B. 

The big plot hole, though, in my mind, was that I came up with this whole master plan for the bad guys, but it involved sending wave after wave of Saiyan cultists to die in pointless, unwinnable battles against Luffa.    I couldn’t have them win much, because if they beat her, they’d just kill her, and the story would be over.    It struck me as fishy that these Saiyans would sign up for a war where the casualty rate is 100%, but I tried to lampshade it as best I could.   “Yeah, all those other chumps couldn’t beat Luffa, but I’ll pull it off because I’m special!”   It still seemed a bit unlikely.  

But then 2020 happened, and I guess the main thing I learned from that year was that people will accept almost anything in order to believe a comfortable lie.  The joke I’ve seen on the internet is that we need to retire the expression “avoid it like the plague”, because it turns out a lot of people don’t actually avoid plagues very well at all.   The horrifying thing about COVID-19 is how easily people will accept the climbing death tolls.   “Oh, well this person was already in bad health, so they would have died eventually anyway.”   I don’t want to get too political here, but I’m pretty sure a lot of the anti-mask, coronavirus-is-a-hoax crowd are the same people who made up tall tales about “death panels” in Obamacare.    “They’re gonna euthanize your grandma!” they would say, but now they say your grandma is acceptable losses if it means reopening bars and restaurants.

Actually, I do mean to get political, because holy fuck, Qanon stormed the Capitol Building.    Look, if you don’t believe Joe Biden won the election, I don’t know what to tell you, except please get far away from me, right now.  If you’re not familiar with Qanon, a few years ago some guy on an image board posted a bunch of cryptic messages and claimed to be an important government figure who would know about important things.    People started “deciphering” his “clues” and when he stopped posting new ones they started inventing their own “clues” and interpreting them any way that suited them.    This led to an overarching narrative that Donald Trump was actually part of this massive sting operation to arrest hundreds, maybe thousands of left-wing politicians, celebrities, and whoever else.    Any day now, he was supposed to have Hilary Clinton arrested, and also JFK Junior would somehow show up and help him, even though he’s been dead for 22 years.  Every day, these Qanon guys would add on more bizarre lore to their “theories”, and every day none of their predictions would come true.  Then Trump lost the election, which put them in a bind, because their whole mythology is based on the idea of him saving the world as POTUS, and now he wasn’t even going to be POTUS for much longer.  

I’m pretty sure this had a lot to do with the lies about election fraud.    Trump himself refused to accept defeat, and his supporters didn’t want to accept it either, so they all told each other that it wasn’t real, and they believed each other so much that they dug in their heels.   But then they’d take this stuff to court and the judge would be like “Uh, what evidence do you have of mass voter fraud?” and they would just be like “lol nvm!”  I mean, if there was proof for any of this, why would they not want a judge to see it?   But for Qanon, it was more than just being sore losers.    They needed all their whackamaroo predictions to come true, and Trump losing re-election would upset the applecart.  

So then they started telling themselves that they could win this thing through the boring certification process.   I think it was like, December 14 when all the states had to certify their results.   So they held out hope that nothing was over until then.    Then they pinned their hopes on the Electoral College, and that there would be enough faithless electors to hand Trump the victory, in spite of the voters.   I found this one amusing, since I used to see tumblr suggesting the same thing back in 2016, when they were still trying to come up with ways for Bernie Sanders to win.  

Then they decided Mike Pence could fix everything, because on Jan 6, Congress would officially count the Electoral Votes and formally declare the winner, and Mike Pence would step in and overrule the whole thing, because the Vice-President oversees that process.    Except he just oversees it, he can’t legally change the outcome, especially on a whim.    And then the riot at the Capitol happened, and I’m pretty sure all these Qanon types thought it would mark the beginning of a nationwide uprising, with all seventy-odd million Trump voters going apeshit, but it... didn’t work out that way.  

Then they convinced themselves that everything was building to January 20, because the innauguration was actually a clever trap, and once Joe Biden took the oath of office, he could then be arrested for treason, so you see, they had to make it look like Trump lost the election, because it was the only way to fool Joe Biden into incriminating himself... or... something.   But Jan 20 came and went, so the latest fallback position I heard was that there’s a double-secret REAL inauguration day, and it’s in March, and the January 20 one isn’t legitimate, even though Trump was inaugurated on January 20, 2016, but whatever.    That, or the guy we see in the White House now is actually Trump disguised as Joe Biden, or a Joe Biden android or something.   

I think I sort of understood that Qanon is a cult, but I didn’t really put the pieces together until the events of January unfolded.    Pre-November, it just seemed like a conspiracy theory, without any real timetables or prophecies, like Flat Earth.    But once the end of the Trump Administration was in sight, it really started to look like all the doomsday cults I’ve heard about over the years.  The predicted events wind up failing to come true, and they invent new predictions to explain away the old ones.   It’s not about the veracity of the claims as much as the claims themselves.    People want to believe there’s this whole elaborate explanation for everything.    They wanted to believe that Trump was this hypercompetent superheroic messiah, because the alternative is to face the uncertain reality: that he had no idea what he was doing, and real people were going to suffer for it.  

I think I sort of worked that idea into my fictional cult, but I backed into it.   NXIVM was a sex cult, not a doomsday cult, or an elaborate conspiracy theory, so I was mostly fixated on all the depraved things the cult could do to its members.   But they all share the same lure: a belief system that promises to make everything fit. I’m not sure what the hook was for NXIVM, but Allison Mack didn’t go in thinking about how much fun sex trafficking would be.   That came later, after she was convinced that NXIVM had all the answers, and one of those answers involved sex crimes, apparently.   In the same vein, Qanon attempted to explain mass arrests and executions by claiming that Hilary Clinton eats babies or something.   “Well, I don’t want babies to get eaten, so I guess breaking into the Capitol building seems like a reasonable course of action.”  

Weighed against real life, a bunch of Saiyans accepting a 100% casualty rate doesn’t seem so outrageous.   It also helps that sometimes the leaders of these groups can buy into their own hype, and think they’re infallible when they’re really not.    This week, I started reading the Darth Plagueis novel again, and I’ve seen the Sith from Star Wars referred to as a cult, but I never gave it a lot of thought until I noticed that Plagueis buys into the whole Dark Side of the Force thing a little too hard.   At times, he’ll wax philosophical about how the Jedi are the real bad guys when you think about it, and he’s not just saying that to be manipulative.   He honestly believes that the Sith can save the galaxy from decline, which is stupid and hypocritical, because they’re the ones causing all the decline.    I always got the impression that Darth Sidious understood that it was all about accumulating power as an end unto itself, and any high-minded talk of necessary evil was just to keep the rubes in line.    Rise of Skywalker plays into that idea nicely.   He somehow survived Episode VI, but he let the Empire collapse, because if he can’t rule it, he doesn’t want it to exist at all.   But he’s still playing himself, because he thinks he can win by following the same failed ideology that got all the previous Sith Lords killed.   

That’s pretty much all I have to say about it right now.    I need to move on to other topics, because Towa’s not doing a cult thing, so my fic is moving in a different direction.   But I feel better for getting this out of my head.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 209

This is the “Fuck All Cameras” Episode, which is kind of awesome, but also a little outdated in this age of smartphones.    If Piccolo blew up my phone just to keep me from taking pictures of his friends, that’d be really inconvenient.    My boarding pass for the flight home would be on there, for example.   

We open on this dude, who’s just doing martial arts stunts for a crowd of bystanders.   Who is he?   We never find out, but he does look pretty cool.  

This somewhat less cool-looking dude shoves him out of the way before we can learn anything about him, and this reporter lady starts interviewing him instead.   

So it’s the 25th Tenkaichi Budokai and Videl’s here to enter, but she also specifically wants to fight Gohan, so she’s trying to find him.     Instead she runs into Sharpner, who for some reason is now madly in love with Videl.    I mean, I don’t blame him, Videl’s awesome and all, but we saw none of this in Sharpner’s previous appearances.   He sat next to her in school, so I guess he was trying to get close to her until he was ready to shoot his shot.    But now he’s wearing a suit and offering her a bouquet of roses, so this seems awfully sudden.

Basically, Sharpner’s throwing out everything he knows to try, and he can’t even get Videl to turn around.    This is downright painful to watch.    Some dork probably told Sharpner to “just tell her how you feel” and here he is doing it and he’s going down in flames.   You can make the argument that his approach here is kind of crappy, but it doesn’t matter, because he doesn’t have a chance here and he never did.   Videl didn’t cut her hair for Sharpner, she did it for the boy who taught her how to fly.    There’s no topping that, and he doesn’t even know that’s what he’s up against.   

I don’t know, I feel for Sharpner here.   That feels weird to say, because he’s presented as kind of a dick, but he’s not that bad.    Yeah, he tried to pick on Gohan a little, but by the end of the day he respected him for being tougher than he looks.   Vegeta beat the shit out of Gohan multiple times, and everyone loves that guy.   I’m not saying Sharpner “deserves” Videl or anything, but it sucks that he clearly worked up a lot of courage to make this big play for her affections, only to find out that he’s a bit player in someone else’s story.   

Likewise, this little girl overheard Sharpner’s invitation to go to some stand that sells fruit juice, and she’s smitten.    Sharpner’s the handsomest guy she’s ever seen, he’s really old, like maybe ten.   He’s offering to buy her juice and she’s taking him up on it.    Apple, please!     But alas, he wasn’t talking to her, and she’s just a bit player in his story, just as he is for Videl’s.   

This is why I don’t respect people who just blow this story off as being nothing but guys screaming at each other for ten episodes.   Yes, it has that.    It makes time for that.  But there’s also a lot of exploration of the human condition in this thing.  You just have to be willing to root around for it.   

Now, let’s hurry up so we can talk about the Punching Machine.

This shot of Goku strolling through the tournament grounds is awesome.   He’s got his best friend and his grown-up son with him, it’s just really great to see.    The funny thing is, Goku’s only been absent from the show for a handful of episodes, but it still feels like it’s been seven whole years.    It’s just awesome to have him back, and in his old stomping grounds, ready to kick some ass and hug some children.

Trunks isn’t sure what to make of Goku, but he thinks his own dad is stronger.  Goten replies that Gohan always said Goku was the “strongest in the universe”, which is weird because Gohan was demonstrably stronger than Goku before he died.    Modesty’s one thing, but it’s strange that Gohan would just flat-out say something like that.    I mean, Gohan honestly had no idea that he had surpassed Goku until Goku asked him to fight Cell.  Could it be that he still can’t accept his superiority on that day, even after all this time?

Goku can’t get used to seeing Krillin with hair.    He asks why he stopped shaving it, and 18 walks by.   Well, it’s not because 18 likes the hair better.   She shaved his head in Res F and seemed to like him better that way, or at least that was my take.  

Then Goku finally notices 18 and he’s all “What’s she doing here?”  

And Krillin’s like “Me, Goku.   She’s doing me here.   That’s your answer.”

Goku’s all “How’d you have a baby with a robot?” and Krillin has to explain that 18 was never a robot, just a human with cybernetic enhancements.    This is a polite way of saying 18 has reproductive organs.    This feels like a bit of a retcon to me.   19 and 20 had entire chunks of their bodies chopped off, and they appeared to be wholly metallic, except for some fluid that might have been blood, and Dr. Gero’s human brain.    17 and 18 claimed to be modified humans, like Gero/#20, but we never saw either of them take any heavy damage, so it was never clear how much of them was still human.    At the time, it didn’t especially matter, but once 18 settled down with Krillin and had a baby, it was worth clarifying that this was possible for her.   But if she had been in some epic battle and half of her face got ripped off, she’d probably turn out to be metal underneath, and the implication would be that she was just a brain in a robot body like Gero.  It just depends on what direction the character went in.  Schrödinger’s uteurs.

Later, Gohan runs into Videl, but he explains to her that he’s entered as the Great Saiyaman, so she has to call him that for the whole day.   Then she shows off her flying ability to him, but she gets kind of frustrated that she can’t keep up with him.

Then Sharpner runs into them, and he quickly gets the impression that Videl is sweet on this Great Saiyaman person, if that is his real name, which it isn’t.

Gohan tries to leave, probably because he’s afraid Sharpner might recognize him from school, but Videl decides to play along.  She doesn’t actually tell Sharpner that she’s dating Great Saiyaman, but she doesn’t deny it either.    You can tell from the way she smiles that she enjoys watching him think about it.   

Also, when the tournament contestants are summoned to the preliminaries, she takes Gohan’s arm in hers, just to twist the knife.   Gohan’s even more unnerved by this, because, as Uncle Raditz once told him, he’s one of the mighty Saiyans too.

Speaking of Raditz, is that him posing in his underwear for a bunch of fans?    Is that Luffa on the far left?     Computer, zoom in sector 4 and enhance!

I mean, it’s not the standard color, and I’m not even 100% sure that’s supposed to be a woman, but the skin tone and the swagger are there.    This isn’t a fan, either.   You can tell by the gym bag she’s carrying....... which must contain her usual fighting clothes.    It’s perfect.    Anyway, she’s here to scold Raditz for skipping Tail Day.  

So this reporter and camera crew are trying to get interviews with the contestants, but Vegeta and Piccolo blow them off.

Goku’s more accomodating, but they don’t understand what he means when he says he’s dead and he’s only visiting for the day. 

And that’s when Piccolo gets fed up and starts blowing up cameras.    Maybe he just doesn’t want Goku explaining the afterlife to the media?   

Then we see this dude signing autographs... Is this Jonathan Joestar?    

I mean, am I on drugs today?   This episode is full of cameos.    I came for the exploding cameras, but I stayed for the JoJo references and OC photobombs.

Meanwhile, Sharpner has made it his business to unmask Great Saiyaman and expose his identity to the world.  Not sure how or why that would improve his standing with Videl, but I think at this point he’s just upset and this is the only outlet he has for his anger.    I would give him credit for not stalking Videl or anything weird like that, but that may be more self-preservation than discretion.    Videl would kick his ass in two seconds and he knows it.  

The Z-Fighters all assemble in the area for the preliminaries, where all the other competitors are.   A bunch of them are working out with weights to pass the time.    I really don’t get that.    This just seems like a bad time to lift, you know?    Also, why bring dumbbells with you.   You have to lug them around the whole time, check them on the flight, etc.  

On the other hand, I totally get that guy on the left who’s stone cold taking a nap.   I guess this is why I never had any talent for combat sports.

Hey, guess who it is?   It’s the World Tournament Announcer!    He’s still hosting this thing, and he’s delighted to see Goku, Krillin, and Piccolo return.   As far as he’s concerned, these events are downright dull without awesome guys like these to make them cool.   WTA’s gotten spoiled on gonzo super brawls, and now regular fighting just doesn’t do it for him anymore.  

So the funny thing about all of this is that WTA is one of the few people who know that Goku and his friends beat Cell, and not Mr. Satan.   King Furry figured it out, based on his recollection of Goku fighting King Piccolo, and he announcer knows it because he witnessed Goku’s battle with Piccolo Junior.   That, and WTA watched Mr. Satan win the 24th Budokai, which must not have been nearly as impressive as the Goku/Piccolo battle from the 23rd.  

Also, WTA is thrilled to see Goku’s brought even more cool dudes to join the action.  He doesn’t understand Goku’s halo, but he still hasn’t made sense of Krillin’s resurrection from back in the day, so by now he’s just given up on trying to figure it out.   He only asks that Piccolo doesn’t blow up the ring again, and Piccolo’s all “We’ll see,” which is probably exactly what WTA wanted to hear.    Yeah, he doesn’t want the ring destroyed, but he likes the idea that it could happen at any time with this crew.    Piccolo’s a master showman.  

Does WTA remember that Piccolo’s the same guy who tried to conquer the world?   He revealed himself at the 23rd Budokai, but the announcer doesn’t seem to remember, or maybe he figured out that Piccolo turned face by the Cell Games.   

In any event, Gohan is pleased to see that there’s at least one person who knows and respects his father’s greatness.   

Meanwhile, Sharpner tries to jump on Gohan from one of the rooftops, hoping to pull off his sunglasses, but Gohan bends down to pick up something at the last second, so it goes pear-shaped in a hurry.

Holy fuck he was picking up Captain Ginyu!   This episode is truly a cavalcade of stars!    

Also, Sharpner hit the pavement so hard he cracked it, and yet he’s still alive and unhurt, which lends to my theory that even ordinary people in Dragon Ball are much, much stronger than real-world people.   Bulma could kick Brock Lesnar’s ass, is what I’m saying.  He’d F5 her and she’d just jump back up and bitchslap him so hard that it’d break his neck.   The cops couldn’t arrest her for murder because she’d be too strong for their feeble handcuffs.  

Later, Sharpner gets a kid to pull off Gohan’s sunglasses while he lurks nearby with the camera.   It’s too fast for him to recognize him on sight, but he knows the camera got a good shot, but then Piccolo destroys it, along with every other camera in the vicinity.    So that takes care of Sharpner.   

Okay, just to explain for younger readers, back in the day cameras relied on film, which had to be chemically developed before you could see the picture you took.   So that’s why Sharpner didn’t just look at the photos he’d taken before it was too late.   I think camera film is still common knowledge, but I’m trying to make sure this blog post will make sense in case someone finds it on archive.org in 2030.  

Anyway, Piccolo just flat out explains that he destroyed every camera in the area.  There’s a real Ron Swanson energy to Piccolo.    “I don’t like flash photography so I murdered all of the cameras.   You’re welcome.”   Seriously, though, he did it just so Gohan can fight without fear of his disguise falling off.   He’s a good friend. 

So, in past tournaments, the preliminaries were this single-elimination tournament to choose eight fighters for the quarterfinals.    This time around, they have a much faster system: The Punch Machine.     Basically, everyone has to punch a device that measures how hard you hit, and the top 15 scorers get to participate in the tournament.    The 16th slot automatically goes to Mr. Satan, since he’s the defending champion. 

While the Z-Fighters are amused and/or disgusted by Satan’s antics, I think it’s pretty awesome how he comes out, holds up his title belt, and greets the other fighters by asking “Who among you will surpass me?!”     I think in the dub he shouts “Who wants this?!” referring to his title belt.    He knows one of these guys might beat him.   If not today, then some day, and for all his glory-seeking, he accepts that.    Plus, he gets the crowd all fired up.    Goku just isn’t built that way. 

So Mr. Satan does the first punch, which I guess is meant to establish a frame of reference for the machine.   It scores him at 137, and I assume everyone thinks no one else can top that, since he’s thought to be the strongest man in the world.   

While the gang lines up for their turn, Goku asks if Tien and “them” are coming.    He really doesn’t know Chiaotzu’s name, does he?    Is he using “them” to refer to Launch too?    Or is he just not sure of Chiaotzu’s gender?    Maybe he thinks Tien married a robot too.    He has no idea.

Anyway, Krillin explains that Tien probably won’t be here.   “No, dude, he just looked at us and said ‘I’m leaving now.   Goodbye forever.’  And then we never saw him again.   Pretty sure he’s not coming.”

All ofthese girls are here to cheer on Videl for when she takes her turn on the Punch Machine.   Are they friends from school?  Where’s Erasa, then?   It seems a bit odd that they’re allowed back here, unless they’re entered in the tournament too, and they don’t appear to be dressed for it. 

Anyway, this Punch Machine business really annoys Vegeta.   Is that Nappa behind him?   Wow.

18 takes her turn, and she tries to hold back, but she ends up getting a score of 774.    Whoops. 

Krillin scolds her for this, because now the officials think the machine is broken.    She tries again and gets like a 206, which is still suspicious, but at least they can sort of buy that. 

So the others just sort of barely tap it to get believable scores, but even so, they’re still higher than what the officials would have expected.

This is especially shocking to Videl, who hasn’t met the Z-Fighters yet.

So then it’s finally time for Vegeta’s turn.    As it turns out, this marks the start of an epic battle, one of my all-time favorites.    You don’t see a lot of talk about this one, but Vegeta vs. Punch Machine is a real classic.   Over the course of the next six episodes we’ll--

Uh...

...

PUNCH MACHINE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Videl is stunned.    Punch Machine was her godfather, but now it’s just a bunch of scrap metal.    And that red cushiony part on the front.   

Look at this heartless bastard.   He killed Punch Machine and he doesn’t even care.  It had one more day till retirement.    I... I can’t go on anymore.   

Yeah, that’s the Great Saiyaman Saga.    Not so great, actually.   They should call him Stand-Around-And-Let-Punch-Machine-Get-Murdered Saiyaman, because that’s what actually happened.    I guess “justice” is only for humans and cat people now.    Way to drop the ball, Saiyaman. 

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 167

There’s about nine or ten days left before the Cell Games.   Dr. Brief is busy working on fixing Android 16.    He has specs from Dr. Gero’s lab, but they’re for android 17, and 16 has a completely different design, because 16 is truly an android, and not a cyborg like 17.    Meanwhile, 16 plays with Dr. Brief’s cat.    I’m not sure if it’s safe for the kitty to lick so close to 16′s open wound, but I’m not a robot or a robot doctor or a cat, so what do I know?

Bulma’s mom serves up cake.    Eat, drink, and be merry, I guess.  

Oolong and Roshi start stuffing their gross fingers into the cakes to claim them, and it’s pretty friggin’ gross.   Seriously, I’ve seen Frieza cut in half, but this scene is what really bothers me.    Those two can’t even eat that much cake anyway, so it’s just disgusting.   Chi-Chi is right to want to keep Gohan away from them.

The others all chill out and watch TV.   This looks like a pretty cozy scene.   

I really want to know what the deal is with this show.   

Vegeta can’t sit on the floor like everyone else because he’s the PRINSUVOLLSAYINS or whatever. 

Yamcha gets restless and decides to go outside to train for Cell.    Krillin offers to join him, and then Vegeta gives them shit for being no match for Cell.    Yamcha reminds Vegeta that he’s no match for Cell either, so maybe he ought to keep his mouth shut.   Yamcha’s like “Yeah, welcome to our world.”   And Krillin starts chanting “One of us, one of us.”

Then Bulma arrives, having returned from Kami’s Lookout, and she’s all anxious to see how Future Trunks is doing, to the point where she crashes into these guys. 

This whole part right here just bugs me.    I don’t like how Vegeta gets lumped into a comedy gag like this.    Why wouldn’t he just move out of the way?   Or simply murder Bulma before she could get near?    That’s kind of his bit, isn’t it?  Also, I don’t really see Bulma being this kind of character.    Chi-Chi, sure, but not Bulma.   It just feels off.  

She calms down once she knows Future Trunks is okay, and then Baby Trunks grabs onto his hair.    Everyone laughts.    Well, not Vegeta.   

Never mind that shit!   Here comes Cell!

This whole scene fucking rules.    Cell just smashes his way into a city, makes a giant hole in a TV studio, and when he puts his hand on the reception desk, it deforms as his hand moves towards it.     I’d call this Big General Zod Energy, except General Zod wasn’t anywhere near this cool in Superman II.   

He asks where they film the TV that gets broadcast all over the world, and the frightened receptionist tells him that he needs Studio B on the top floor.   Cell just floats straight up and the floors rip open as he moves towards them.    None of that elevator nonsense like in Movie 7.    Cell just goes where he wants, how he wants.   

Back at Capsule Corp, Yamcha slips on Krilin’s bald head.    Vegeta’s probably watching them from the window.     “They’re right,” he thinks to himself as he watches Yamcha plant his bare feet into Krillin’s face.   “I’m one of them now.”

Meanwhile, Roshi watches aerobics girls on TV, and I guess in Dragon World they film that shit live, because Cell floats up into the studio and ruins the shot.  

They change it to a cooking show, and he’s there too.    

Then they switch it to... I guesss this is some sort of stage musical?   I don’t understand how TV works in this world.    They filmed all of these shows in the same building, live, and aired them on three separate channels?   

I don’t know what this was supposed to be, but it’s not shown from Bulma’s TV, so maybe this one was being taped.   

Finally, he ends up at Studio B, and smashes through the anchorman’s desk.   

Hyperbolic Time Chamber Update: Gohan has a nightmare about Cell killing Chi-Chi and Piccolo right in front of him.    Holy shit!    How does he know what Cell looks like?    How did Goku know what the androids and Vegeta were doing while he was laid up with the heart virus?    

I was telling a friend of mine how this liveblog is helping me recalibrate for the fanfic I’m writing.   I didn’t think I needed it, but this helps me remember what it is I’m trying to work from.    I gave my Super Saiyan OC a lot of reasons to have trouble sleeping, and at times, I felt like that was kind of dumb and cliche.    But now I realize why I did that in the first place.    Nightmares and sleepless nights are par for the course for Super Saiyans.   The only reason we don’t see Trunks having bizarre prophetic nightmares is because he grew up in one.    Showing him sleeping poorly seems kind of redundant, you know? 

Turns out, Gohan had a fever, which isn’t too surprising, considering the extreme conditions of this place.    Once again, Gohan apologizes for not being good enough or strong enough to live up to the expectations he has for himself, but Goku’s totally cool about this.    Goku’s been there, after all.    More importantly, Gohan is far, far stronger than Goku ever was at his age.    To put this into perspective, Gohan probably just now turned 11.    Goku was 12 when Bulma first met him.    As much as Gohan looks up to his dad, I think the reverse applies too.   

Goku tries to tuck him in, and  Gohan murmurs something about his desire to protect the others.    Gohan’s laser focused on this.    He may not enjoy fighting, but he’s completely devoted to the mission.  

Back to business, Cell is here on TV to announce his new tournament, the Cell Games.   First he introduces himself as the monster who killed all those people in Gingertown, Nickytown, and elsewhere.   He says he no longer needs to feed on people, but he will be kicking the ass of everyone who shows up at his tournament in nine days.  

Is that Piccolo’s TV, or Tien’s?    Either way, I find it hilarious. 

Basically, the Cell Game only resembles the Tenkaichi Budokai in the sense that you can lose by giving up, or by falling out of the ring.   Otherwise, it’s a very different format.    Instead of an elimination bracket, it’s a gauntlet match.    Cell stands in the ring, and fights each competitor.    If he wins, the next guy steps up and he fights that guy, and so on.    The idea is to see how many of these fights Cell can win in a row with no time to rest.    In theory, the more fighters who show up, the better chance of them wearing Cell down.   

Perhaps most critically, lethal force is not illegal, as Chi-Chi speculated.  If Cell kills you, you lose, not him.   Frankly, that just makes sense.    In the Tenkaichi Budokai, the idea was to defeat your opponent, not murder him, so lethal force would get you disqualified.    

But the Cell Games are for the fate of the Earth.    If Cell wins, he plans to kill everyone on the planet.   So why should he spare his opponents?  Why should he disqualify himself if he accidentally kills an opponent?  

On the flip side, why should his opponents worry about killing him?    If there was a no-kill rule, and Goku managed to kill Cell, that would technically make Cell the winner, but who would care?   Also, what would happen if Goku managed to beat Cell by ringout?  Would Cell abide by the rules?   He never really explained what would happen if he lost.   I assume he just didn’t see that as a possibility, or maybe he expected his opponents to try to kill him no matter what, so it wasn’t important.  

I’m not the kind of Cell fan who spends a lot of time looking for ways he could reform, although I do feel like it’s a shame that he couldn’t see the value of sparing the Earth and making the Cell Games a regular thing.   Like, let’s say he held this competition, and he survives to the end, win or lose.    Wouldn’t it make sense to stage a followup tournament for next year?     If the Saiyans could give him good sport twice, why not a third time?   And then the Cell Games just becomes this annual event where everyone gets together to see how many fights this bug man can win.   

But the reality is that Cell’s too big a dick for that.    His perfect form was built on thousands of innocent victims, and his tournament ring is sitting on top of farmland owned by a guy her murdered.   He killed that news anchor right before he announced this game, and he closes his announcement by blowing up part of the city he’s in.    Yeah, Cell loves fighting, and you might talk him into doing Cell Games II next year, but he also loves terrorizing helpless people, and he’d be doing that for the entire year until the next event.   I suppose this is what sets him apart from Vegeta and Piccolo.

Anyway, everyone is suitably terrified by Cell’s announcement.    Cell is the first villain to announce his presence to the world since King Piccolo conquered it over a decade ago.   The Saiyan invasion was known to the world, but there was very little understanding of what was going on.   Goku’s role in that battle never made it to the news media, and the other Z-Fghters who did get televised all died in battle.    To the world at large, they just knew that East City got destroyed by aliens, then there was a battle in some remote location, a bunch of martial artists and camera crews died, and then the aliens were gone.   

This is something that’s always interested me about Dragon Ball, because I’m used to comic book universes where the main heroes and their adventures are well known to the public.  I guess Superman was sort of the origin of that whole idea, since he worked for a newspaper, and he was such a powerful character that it was big news whenever he did anything, even in secret.     In some of Superman’s earliest outings, he seemed very interested in keeping a low profile, like he didn’t even want people to know he existed, but the costume sort of undermined that idea.    Eventually, he settled into the formula of being a public figure, and then writing about his own adventures as Clark Kent. 

Other superhero franchises have followed that premise, although it gets kind of strained in places.  If Mr. Fantastic invented a flying car years ago, why does everyone in Marvel still use real world technology?   A lot of fantasy worlds try to sidestep that problem by having the super-powered characters exist in secret.    Harry Potter’s whole deal is that wizards are real, and they have a whole secret society going on under the nose of the rest of the world, although it’s not very clear why they felt it so important to do this in the first place.   The real reason is that J.K. Rowling wanted Harry to grow up in a normal household, instead of some parallel world where everyone knows magic is real.  

Dragon Ball sort of tries to have it both ways.     It’s mostly like the real world, but it can have advanced technology like the Hoi-Poi capsules and hovercars, and then there’s remote parts of the world where they don’t have those things.   Trucks with wheels are still a thing, probably because Toriyama likes to draw real cars and made-up cars and he saw no reason to have to choose.   As for Goku, he just goes in, whips ass, and leaves.    If there’s media attention for his actions, so be it, but he’s not interested in it, so he doesn’t pursue it.    One day the Red Ribbon Army got wiped out, and the world has no idea how or why.    One day, King Piccolo got taken down, and the world found out about it, but they knew almost nothing about the boy who did the job.   One day, Vegeta got sent packing, but he eventually came back, and no one knows who he is, or what happened in between.  

And Goku’s fine with that.    He sees no point in giving press conferences, or explaining What Just Happened to the rest of the people.    He’s a very minor celebrity for participating in the Tenkaichi Budokai competitions, but only hardcore martial arts fans would have heard of him.    I’m a pro wrestling fan, but I’d have to look up the last three winners of the G1.  

And maybe this is one reason I dig this show so much.    Over the years, western comic books have gotten increasingly mired in pointless details.    You look at the new Spider-Man movie that’s coming up, and the general idea seems to be that Spider-Man needs Nick Fury to tell him what to do.    That’s how the comics have been for decades now.    These days you can’t be a superhero without some government agent telling you which way to pull up your tights.    It’s bullshit, but the writers think it’s more “realistic” that way.    Come to think of it, pro wrestling fell into the same trap a while back.    It used to be that you’d turn on wrestling and they’d just show a bunch of matches, and it was taken for granted that some unseen authority booked the card.    Now every American wrestling promotion has to waste time on all these in-story CEO’s, general managers, commissioners, and assistant general managers, and they all argue over which of them outranks the other.   It’s dumb.   Just let them fight.    Dragon Ball’s gonna let them fight.