#so yeah Dark Cacao’s probably the one more in need of one

[quibbs126]

Dark Cacao is in desperate need of a buff; from what I understand he’s currently sitting at the worst of the Ancients meta wise and I want to use him in the game again and for him to be useful. They were able to give some to Hollyberry and Pure Vanilla back during City of Wizards, surely they can give him one too

Though also I do find it a bit ironic considering that when I started the game, Dark Cacao I think was considered the best of the Ancients to use, and now he sits as the worst

[yanderecookierunkingdom]

HIIIW HOW ARE YOU? i’ve got a another request for you (i did ask a question a few weeks ago but i’m not sure if you saw it, it’s fine though)

imagine the yan! beasts and the yan! ancients (separately) with a reader that’s very stoic and calm, that has a reputation as a warrior or chief or something like that (something that has to do with fighting or getting or hands dirty.. or numbs? idk cookies don’t necessarily have hands) to hold so they have no room to be soft for anyone, but if you get them a little tipsy, they become more open? y’know how people get cuteness aggression from pets, yeah that’s reader, they become a totally different person when in private.. or tipsy, of course they still have control over themselves but still have like.. major cuteness aggression, but once a day passes, they act like it didn’t even happen

I don't think I ever got that? If you want to resend it, you can!

Eternal Sugar Cookie would more than likely get you purposely tipsy more often to see this side of you, which she believes is reserved only for her. She'll always play it off the next day, acting like she doesn't know what you mean about her always carrying some alcohol.

Mystic Flour Cookie finds it endearing how you open up during events like this, but she never forces you to drink. No, she'll just.. gently persuade you. After all, it's only you two. There's no harm in it!

Burning Spice Cookie, surprisingly, wouldn't take advantage of it. While he'd love to see you more open and closer with him, despite his twisted obsession, he wants that to happen naturally. So getting drinks with him is far and few between, but whenever you two do, manipulation is often involved.

Silent Salt Cookie is similar to Burning Spice Cookie, but he won't hesitate to offer up to glass to you if he feels like you're hiding something from him. Getting you to be more open is a tough thing, so he'll savor the moments where you'll be too tipsy to remember what you tell him.

Shadow Milk Cookie can't help but be a little.. conflicted. While on one hand, you drinking and getting tipsy and being open is great for him, he can get to know more about you! But on the other hand, he wonders about if you'll find out. What will you do? He really doesn't want to have to control you with his strings, but if he has to..

Hollyberry Cookie is probably the reason why you were drinking in the first place. Maybe a game she challenged you to, or just a night out between you, too. Regardless, she's fully aware of what you're like during this, and she takes it to her advantage. She'll learn everything she can about you in that time frame. Say, how about another outing sometime soon?

Dark Cacao Cookie probably doesn't drink that often, meaning you don't either. But when you do, he insists to anyone else that he'll be the one to take care of you. Guiding you to a private room, he'll gently pry information from you. How you feel about him, about others.. all to help his plans of making you love him.

Golden Cheese Cookie probably encourages you to drink. Every time you've gotten tipsy or worse, she's always been there and always there to help you calm down.. while asking questions to you that seem obvious, but to her she needs answered. After all, she can't have you panicking if she keeps you in the kingdom indefinitely..

White Lily Cookie rarely, if ever, drinks, so to see you get tipsy around her is a surprise. And the thing is, she might have not even been around when you first started drinking. She merely stumbled upon you and, well, decided to take advantage of the situation at hand. Just asking some questions, that's all. She just needs to know how you feel about her..

Pure Vanilla Cookie would try his damn hardest not to ask you anything while tipsy, but his obsession would win out. He'd start with small questions before they slowly ramp up in intensity and desperation. Cookies always say that you speak your true thoughts when you're intoxicated, so surely you mean everything you're saying. (He's so delusional.)

[lavender-butterfly-cookie]

I meant the isekai x self-aware fic with the team that you would never fight. I love it and want to see a part 2 of it. (sorry if I worded my previous ask incorrectly and confused you into thinking I was talking about another fic!)

OH- Butterfly- be more specific next time. I got around 3 different self-aware crk au's going on and you ought to specify which one you're referring to. I'm gonna mix them up if you don't T T Anyways, part two coming right up

Previous part

The ball's in your court pt2

While the battle between the heroes and Shadow Milk cookie raged on, Y/N cookie was just chilling with the kids and watching from the side eating popcorn (From where? nobody knows). The fight was pretty much still a 50/50 battle since neither team was taking enough damage for defeat. When did Shadow Milk cookie become THIS resilient??? Oh well, provided you got the healers doing their job and everyone else is holding up it would be fine.

Gingerbrave: So...

Strawberry cookie: The baker, hm?...

Wizard cookie: I thought you'd be bigger...

Y/N cookie: the feeling is mutual. And take as much time as you need to come to terms with it.

Strawberry cookie: And those cookies- the ones you brought to fight. Are... they the really like the ones we know? As in- the white lily cookie and dark cacao cookie. I don't know who the other two are.

Y/N cookie: Yes and no. Unlike the cookies of this universe, these ones are solely brought in to fight the enemy on my command. And if they crumble it's not a permanent death. They'll always come back provided I choose to use them for battle again. And even if I don't, they're on standby. Though I don't exactly think I'll need to put any of them on the bench with how well the battle is going.

Y/N cookie looks back at the fight, which hasn't calmed down in the slightest. But at least they were slowly getting the upper hand. The three other cookies looked at each other before looking at the baker.

Wizard cookie: So you're saying that anyone you choose to fight for you can and will appear?

Y/N cookie: Yeah, but that'll probably only be possible once I beat this boss or they lose.

Gingerbrave: Wow! This is so cool! It's like some awesome video game in real life!

Y/N cookie:... riiiiiiiiiiiight......

Strawberry cookie: I have a question.

Y/N cookie: Ask away.

Strawberry cookie: Earlier you said something about... Elder Faerie crumbling?... I-is that really gonna happen?

Y/N cookie: Uhh

Wizard cookie: Oh so I wasn't the only one who heard that.

Y/N cookie: Well-

Gingerbrave: Wait- he's gonna crumble?! When?!

Y/N cookie: Ok just calm down so I can speak, geez!

All three cookies go silent, looking up at Y/N cookie with visible concern as they sigh.

Y/N cookie: So originally, he supposed to die. I'm not gonna go into too much detail cuz that's way too many spoilers but yeah, he dies. I was admittedly hoping it wouldn't come to that since a whole lot of dialogue was changed, but I guess there odds of the story changing were pretty low.

Gingerbrave: W-when does it happen?! Maybe we can stop it?!

Y/N cookie: Considering how long the fight's been going I'd say right about-

Just then there was a yell of pain from the battle grounds, causing all the cookies to look at the source. Surprise surprise, Elder faerie was dying.

Y/N cookie: Now...

The four went to the scene. (skipping the whole using the guardians strength part because it's gonna take forever for me to finish this story if I don't.)

Y/N cookie: Can't you heal him or something, Mystic flour cookie?

Mystic flour cookie: No.

Y/N cookie: Why not-

Mystic flour cookie: I'm not about to interfere with a canon event.

Y/N cookie: Ah- fair.

Burning Spice cookie: And so the old fool dies. And yet, I still feel nothing.

Y/N cookie: Wait is that a ref-

White Lily cookie: WHY ARE YOU GUYS SO NOCHALANT ABOUT THIS?! I JUST BECAME A GUARDIAN FOR TREES SAKE!

Moonflower Faerie: You'll get over it.

White Lily cookie: Wait- really?

Moonflower faerie: No- that's gonna haunt you for weeks to come, trust me.

White Lily cookie: oh-

Dark Cacao cookie (Dragon lord): Now, let us make haste and seal that wretched beast once and for all.

Y/N cookie: He's gonna be back in- like, Beast yeast episode 7

Burning spice + Mystic flour: What?-

Y/N cookie: Nothing- let's just go!

[sugarcloudsky]

I have this habit where I NEED to sort gummy bears and skittles by colour before eating them. I JUST CANT EAT THEM WHEN THEYRE NOT SORTED.. and I wanna know how my favs would react.. So basically affogato, red velvet, licorice and dark cacao cookie with a s/o who needs to sort gummy bears/skittles by colours before eating them, preferably separated!!

sorry for taking a bit to get to this!! ^_^

—————

affogato cookie would watch with amusement. he would watch with a light smirk hidden by his sleeve as you carefully sort the gummy snacks by color into small bowls. he might occasionally ask to help, but he usually is just happy with sitting back and watching you sort the gummies (and maybe occasionally stealing one when you aren’t looking).

red velvet cookie would be confused. he would directly ask you why you’re doing something like this, what was the point? he wasn’t judging you, of course not, but he was just curious. he only hums when you tell him you can’t eat the snacks if they’re not sorted. afterwards, whenever he spots you sorting your snacks again, he’ll wordlessly sit down next to you and begin helping you, even if you try to tell him you can do it yourself (chiffon always wants to help too, you and red velvet always have to end up shooing the poor cake hound away).

honestly, i think licorice cookie would probably do the same or at least something similar. when he spotted you sorting your snacks by color for the first time, he was a bit surprised, but definitely amused. he would jokingly ask you if you needed any help, and if you agreed, he would sit besides you with a smirk on his face (and probably steal a good handful). if you denied, he would simply let out a lighthearted huff and walk away. so yeah, you better let him help you.

dark cacao cookie is another someone who is confused. he tries to ask you what the point of sorting them is, but you insist that you have to sort completely before you even think about eating them! after seeing how persistent you were, he decided to leave you be. as long as you’re happy with it, he doesn’t really mind. in fact, whenever he sees you pull out your bag of snacks, he tries to convince you that you don’t have to sort it yourself, he can have his servants do it for you! so just take a break, please?

———

just a quick announcement for everyone as well, i am absolutely open to everyone sending me short character thoughts for me to write short blurbs on! i will be writing many more blurbs now that i am receiving more and more asks daily, lol

thank you all for your support! <3

[everettswritings]

I'd like some regressor Dark Cacao stuffs, if possible!! Hcs pls!!

Sorry for making you wait so long, have a cookie 🍪! Anyways, I never even thought about Dark Cacao Cookie as a regressor, but now I kinda love it, so thank you. (NSFW/Kink accounts DNI!)

Definitely not the most open about being little, he would prefer not to allow his vulnerabilities to show. You’d have to pry this out of him(lord knows that Affogato Cookie tried… and failed)

However, even if you do know, he doesn’t like letting you take care of him. He’s still trying to adjust to it

Regresses somewhere in the 2-5 range, but he’s generally 4-5 so he’s a little more independent.

Whenever he feels himself starting to regress, he quickly finds a way to excuse himself from the room and doesn’t come back until much later. When asked about it, he shrugs it off.

He doesn’t like to admit it, whether it’s because of his pride as a battle-hardened king or because of his values, but he prefers being surrounded by softer things when he’s little. Mostly pillows and blankets.

He kinda goes nonverbal when regressed, only saying a few words or nothing at all. He often has to point at what he wants or grab it for himself.

Not very affectionate with any caregivers at first, but slowly he starts warming up and becomes a giant cuddly lump. Good luck prying him off!

Doesn’t really play much, but will occasionally fiddle with wooden swords and the likes. He mostly prefers to just lazy around and do nothing in this state.

When it comes to cookies who do know, a guaranteed one is Caramel Arrow Cookie. That’s canon. I can say that because I’m literally the entirety of DevSis

She’s definitely an awesome caregiver, too. Now excuse me while I write those headcanons

Anyways, yeah! This was super fun to write and our favorite old gruff probably does need some littlespace after that update(woof). Hope you enjoyed! That’s all! Have a good one 🫶

[makerofmadness]

Aight so. As promised (by that I mean: as the poll willed) here is: me rambling about design choices and stuff in my AU 'cus I dunno if people will ever ask me about any of this otherwise. (link to the post with all the AU designs)

Shadow Milk

His dress's diamond pattern was meant to kinda evoke stars in a dark night sky

His monocle is tinted yellow. Thought that would be a good sort-of parallel to PV's blue eye

Driftwood came up with the moon design on the bow

His hairstyle and other parts of his design were inspired by the silhouette of his pre-beast self

The bit of his hair that juts out is also somewhat of a moon

The choice for bows was kinda just because I thought it fit with his personality. Ostentatious.

Pure Vanilla

I already explained his flower after being asked

He's a pierrot <3

His face makeup is supposed to give him a subtle "crying" look. And yeah he's wearing face paint, you can still see his dough color on his hands.

Yeah his sleeves are huge. Driftwood was the real one who designed him just with my input on ideas just to be clear, but I do hope stuff like that makes him look "smaller" in more than one sense.

The black pupil shapes are meant to be like that one shape that's all over CRK you know the one it's like 'nilla's soul jam but with a fourth round part

His messy hair is a reference to his blueberry yogurt academy design

Mystic Flour

I was originally thinking her sword would just be generic because I imagine she doesn't really use it but driftwood gave it a cool design which is infinitely more based. Flour still does not really use it she's more a healer/commander than a fighter so it's more I guess symbolic is what I'd call it

The scar over her eye I imagine came from her first encounter with the dark cacao kingdom's wilderness

The dragons are actually in her necklace I imagine

Her design went through a long and arduous process because it turns out flour's sprite is just really hard to edit when you need to do anything with her arms lol

Her hair bun design was taken from another "redeemed flour" design driftwood made once. She said that the hair bun is meant to look like a dumpling bun

her and Cacao's soul jam shapes being mixed up was. Admittedly an error XD but hey it looks good-

Dark Cacao

The reason his eyes are all weird is because I thought the idea of him crying so much his eyecing ran permanently by the time the tears dried just felt like "video game lore" like it's something you'd read about in one of the split-second loading screens in the game or in his story bio. It just kinda came to me naturally, it felt right with the design- probably because it also resembles icicles.

His whole "bloom of apathy" thing is based on sugar blooming in chocolate. Have you ever eaten chocolate with sugar blooms before? The texture is all powdery and sad and it ends up tasting like disappointment (I am speaking from experience).

The clouds over his head are like the ones associated with Mystic Flour. Reference to the saying about having a dark/black cloud hanging over your head. (Expecting the worst to come/bad things to happen, having a pessimistic and/or negative mindset, etc.)

I call his sword the Ivory Blade. Idk if he'd call it anything in particular, to be honest. probably never cared to name it.

The white of his outfit isn't an even split as you can see with both sleeves; it tears up over his heart.

Originally he was gonna have two scarves and thank God driftwood vetoed that and gave him a cape instead because the second scarf would have not translated well into the sprite (I was going for something that would have referenced the black and white dragons but it would have looked silly in practice). She said the cape was meant to give a "snuffed out by apathy" feeling and I think that it fit way better overall so this is a Thank You Driftwood moment XD

That being said: his wings do take their color direction from the dragons so they are still referenced in the end. (Fun fact; they're nonfunctional, he can't fly with those)

Burning Spice

He doesn't have much on in terms of golden accessories because I wanted to emphasize him being more "modest"/not caring as much about gold

His parashu color choice was inspired by this one image driftwood sent me. I don't know where this comes from in the game exactly but the colors just felt appropriate for this:

His crown is made of cheese btw. It's cut kinda hastily like it was a last-minute decision...

He's mostly just in fettuccine wraps 'cus he spends so much time fighting and doesn't really care as much as he should for his physical well-being.

Uh the rest of his "apparel" is actually also meant to be based on specific cheeses which... well I was the one who took over on this edit and I'm not as experienced with sprite editing as driftwood so it probably didn't come across so well but uh I can point to pepperjack and liptauer. I forget what I was inspired by for the crown though other than MAYBE reaper cheddar? It may just be a non-spicy cheese with bits of pepper added in, otherwise

His parashu being double-bladed was literally for no other reason than "I thought it would look cool" I can be silly sometimes too okay-

Golden Cheese

Yeah I think the demon resemblance with the wings and her crown's horns go without saying. Her wings are also supposed to have a look like torn cloth.

She wears even more gold jewelry than she used to. The idea is that she tries to cover herself in more gold to make up for her loss of radiance.

Yes, those are in fact ✨Cheese Tights✨ (I imagine they used to not be torn but probably got scuffed like that after enough rounds of destruction that it wasn't worth getting them fixed up)

You can still see where the Virtue of Change originally went on her body :3 She plans to use that spot for a certain other light once she gets it back...

Yeah there's a massive crack in her face (we're kinda inconsistent about the design of it but tbh the way it looks doesn't really matter so much as what it represents). And yeah her eye is all glitched-out. You know what they say about eyes being the window to the soul? The day she finally cracked, it showed through more ways than one.

Eternal Sugar

Yes, those are sugarberries. And yes sugarberries are real things Driftwood was the one who found that out and made the choice to include them in the design X3

They don't have the demon wings anymore, but the tail is still present.

That is in fact the Hollyberry Kingdom's crown that the Soul Jam is in.

Their lyre's design was inspired by that one guild relic violin

Hollyberry

I went with the "tiger" theme because tigers are associated with Dionysus (Greek God of wine-making, festivities and madness) while also being associated with things like strength and courage which are fitting attributes for Hollyberry Cookie as she is pre-fall from grace. Plus, they're big cats, and cats are perfect for Lazy creatures :3 /silly

Her hair is meant to be more like frosting than icing, hence the fluffier (or furrier) look.

The markings on her face are inspired by face stripe patterns on tiger's faces, as in I looked at actual pictures of tigers and saw that some had face stripes that looked vaguely like smiley faces and I wanted to take advantage of that.

I will fully admit that I traced the ears from chili pepper cookie's tiger-themed costume from ovenbreak :'3

Originally I was gonna give her a jacket but I'm not as good at sprite editing as driftwood so I had to cut it. I feel like her ending up with a simpler design is better overall in the end. (Driftwood ended up doing the shield patterns/details, the hair and the tail though so thank her for that I couldn't do those things X3)

She isn't wearing gloves. Her hands are just covered in white fur. I originally kinda wanted it to be a bit ambiguous but I've realized in terms of actually writing her I kinda have to lean into one or the other in terms of descriptions so I went with the borderline-paws option.

Her tail is just a bunch of upside-down hearts. I thought it would be neat to like very vaguely give her an angel-devil look like sugar had but in a way subtler way to make them parallel, so the upside down heart tail thing and giving her a halo was kinda a means to do that. (The halo's made of berry juice btw! No you cannot slurp it)

Her dress having the huge heart over it is does speak true to herself. She still has a big heart.

Removing a lot of the sharper-looking leaves was figuratively "declawing" her but the ones left and then added to her shield are for a reason. The ones on the bell on her dress make it look vaguely heart-shaped while on her shield they resemble upside-down hearts like the light of sloth. Wouldn't be Hollyberry Cookie without a bunch of hidden and not-so-hidden hearts on her design <3

[sadly-in-active]

Can you write some hcs of Affogato Cookie x Clotted Cream Cookie?

Ofc honey (I’m so tired and I need this boost of creativity and confidence)

AffoClotted hcs

Summary: After making a secret alliance with the Créme Republic’s very own Consul, he now stays within Clotted Cream Cookie’s mansion. The two get a bit closer then expected. Hell, Affogato Cookie thought that this would give him an advantage to have a personal relationship with the Consul…but then he got attached as well and shit took a turn.

TW: Why is all of this just bickering, these idiots need to get a room and make out, too much tension for their own good, swearing, failed manipulation because Affogato is actually pathetic now, Clotted Cream gets internalized homophobia and hates it, Dark Cacao tries to abuse both (and fails)

Also personal hc that Affogato is pansexual and transmasc, and Clotted Cream is bi but fails to hide it

Whores istg /j (This was the thing I use to start all my drafts)

—

So, after Clotted Cream finds a completely vulnerable and pathetic ex-royal advisor, he knew that one, Affogato could be using this little alliance as a way to regain power, or two, he was actually really interested in living with the Consul and actually having a house again. Yeah, Clotted Cream realized that it was both.

During the meeting when Clotted Cream was first introduced to the Ancients, Affogato was with him, yet…preferred to stay on the airship for a bit longer. He actually had to be pried off of it by Financier because he was still genuinely nervous about seeing Dark Cacao and getting even more of a punishment because he showed his face to the King.

Luckily, when Dark Cacao saw Affogato, the oh-so heroic Consul shielded Affogato (begrudgingly, but he couldn’t show that) from any threats that the King of the Black Citadel wanted to enact on the ex-advisor. And don’t worry, Clotted Cream also defended Affogato’s sorry ass! Y’know the drill, saying that he was “reformed” and trying to become better under the eyes of the Divines! (Yeah, like Affogato believed in that dumb light stuff. Clotted Cream was also kinda coming up with stuff on the spot, but he managed to maintain that cool and composed demeanor for most of the time.)

I kinda forgot what else happened in the Cookie Odyssey so let’s actually get onto the silly ship part of it!

—

Clotted Cream practically begged Affogato to sleep in the guest room, but our dear little ex-advisor merely shook his head and had that bastard grin of his. So yeah, they were sharing a bed the entire time. Totally normal, I know. They were roommates after all… 😘

They bicker…a lot. Usually, Clotted is tryna settle the situation down, but as soon as Affogato says some kind of petty insult and has that TOTALLY charming rolled eyes, expect the ex-advisor to be picked up by Clotted Cream’s coat belts and practically thrown onto the guest bed. Awh, so sad… 😞 But don’t worry, because Affo sneaks back into the Consul’s room anyways and snuggles up to him. After all, keep your friends close, but your enemies closer~ (they HAVE to make out)

Clotted Cream is probably good at flirting (probably.) but when he’s around Affogato and the teasing cocky bitch whispers some kind of flirty joke, he can’t help but feel REALLY flustered, even though he tries his best not to show it, he’s really a nervous wreck.

The Consul gets a bunch of internalized homophobia, probably due to Elder Custard being a bitch and super toxic. Especially with the idea that an esteemed politician like him would be following all the rules and stuff about this kind of thing…

Affogato already saw the look on his face. Ah yes, that look of “Wait, is this right or am I just a fool?” kind of look. During one time when Clotted Cream had that look again while filling out paperwork on his desk, Affogato creeped up behind, took the Consul’s chin, and gently but teasingly pressed his lips against Clotted’s for a second, before smirking proudly.

“Well? Are you still getting those…frankly boring and negative thoughts, or are you too shocked by me?”

Clotted never said anything in that moment, his eyes wide and a deep blush appearing on his face. In that moment…well, I think he probably forgot, since it all happened so quick. But Affogato definitely remembered it. Of course he could recall the way the Consul pulled him closer, tugging on his hair and letting out a few breathy sighs as he did so.

…well, they certainly got a room, didn’t they?

[beepborpdoodledorp]

WOOOO I finally got around to making references for the Cookies I can never draw consistently!!

Yeah, unfortunately since some Cookies translate into human designs way better than others I tend to draw some of them really inconsistently, so I decided to finally pin down my own designs to use, first for these three specifically. Black Raisin and Strawberry Crepe were probably the two lesser offenders, and I made a reference just to add some touch-ups and, again, to ensure continuity between my fanart, but on the other hand my Wildberry was in desperate need of a redesign. Normally the more I draw characters the more refined they get as I become more comfortable with them, but I actually think the way I’ve drawn Wildberry has deteriorated over time. It doesn’t help that I literally come across absolutely beautiful Wildberry designs on a day-to-day basis meanwhile I’m drawing the most basic-ass ugly thing ever 😭 Armor is the bane of my existence and if I ever get to making more references the next ones are definitely going to be for characters who wear it (think Dark Choco, Dark Cacao and Kouign-Amann)

[thegreatcrowdragon]

Yapping about the various Shadow Milk ships I’ve seen because why not

Kinda long so I’m putting it under a read more

Eldershadow: ooooh my favorite. The way sm yelled “NO!!” when he assumed Elder faerie died of old age made me rise an eyebrow. Also I think he sometimes kisses the cutout he made of him

PureShadow: my second favorite, bit of a guilty pleasure. It all started when he called him “silly vanilly” tbh

Okay so I don’t know if some of these other ones have ship names sorry

Cacao x Shadow milk: I’m actually slightly into it, but it’s such a rarepair that I barely see any of it. Gets funnier if you consider the idea he already divorced Elder Faerie and that guys like that are just his type

Any of the other beasts x Shadow milk: I was never really into it. Yeah they’re supposedly friends I just never really cared about it. If other people like it that’s cool tho

Longan x Shadow milk: whoever came up with this I need to (platonically) kiss you thanks

Moonlight x Shadow milk: I hate to break it to ya but there’s nothing that could be considered chemistry between them other than the vague mentions of moonstone and the dark side of the moon. Also she’s lesbian

White lily x Shadow milk: I’ve seen a few people ship it. It ain’t my cup of tea but if that’s what you like then sure

Matcha x Shadow milk: please feed me I am starving

Sugar swan x Shadow milk: never understood this one, sorry.

Stardust x Shadow milk: it could be fun! I’d be interested to see how it plays out

White pearl x Shadow milk: I’ve only ever seen it with White pearl specifically so I’m curious on why that is. Wouldn’t he get along better with Black pearl? Also they can both turn big so that’s fun

This next one is just various ships I lumped together because I have the same thought about all of them

Kumiho, Clover, Eclair, and Frilled Jellyfish x Shadow milk: I’m very interested how you guys even came up with these.

Will (probably) update when I learn of more sm ships

[anonymoususeru]

2 am Rambles about the Beast Cookies So Far

Aka Pas thinks about the Beast Cookies and a small rant (under the cut)

Hmm yes yes the Beast lore nuke was a huge something alright. Despite my scepticism back then I actually enjoy the three we've seen so far.

Shadow Milk is a mixed bag for me. His fanbase, to put it lightly, fucking sucks. Because of how I didn't interact with the fans when he first came out, I'm okay with him. I'm starting to dislike him because of how his fans act. However, purely in game, he's a fun character. He's an unreliable narrator, a showman, and a SMART man plus an entitled child. Yes, smart. People forget that sometimes. I like the guy. He knows others' weaknesses and such. I wrote a whole paper on him but I fucking despise his insufferable fanbase. I'm sorry but a lot of them are insufferable as hell. I don't care that you think he's the best or that the others are boring. He's a Tumblr Sexyman.

Mystic Flour? My dearest and everything istg. I get that some think she's boring and how her entire character is boring. And yeah, fair enough. Her story has been done before and like she's the first Beast? She's probably the safest out of all of them (relative to the rest of the group, lol). I like her because she's an entitled child pretending to not care. I like her because even when she knows she's wrong after getting ripped to shreds, she won't change. She DOES care and remember the people in the past like yesterday (voice lines and such) but won't admit it because it'll make her ideology fall apart. She holds the light of Emptiness (Original Korean word, also used in Thai)/Apathy (Localised) and yet her attitude shows otherwise. She's based on a religious figure as well, GuanYin! And I'm born into a Buddhist family, so I'm more attached to her than others. Also, I do hope there's a theme of unreliable narrators/past for the Beasts in some way. Anyway, I want that Apathetic Goddess. She'll kill me on the spot, but whatever.

Burning Spice. I like the guy so far even when he wasn't present for most of the chapter. He enjoys toying with everyone and everything. He's BRUTAL and wants some fun before crushing someone entirely. And yet, from his Kingdom Interaction with Nutmeg Tiger, he remembers the first Kingdom. I'm not sure what, but it seems like his past could be in a similar route to Flour. Especially from his in game Description. Also, I want that Indian man as well /j.

I am enjoying how the Beasts act overall. Their personalities do shine when compared to their successors.

Mystic Flour didn't have the support she needed, was seen as an untouchable goddess, and was used until she snapped. She never made her own decisions and just granted everyone else's wishes, which made sense why the Light of Resolution is the vice. I do like to note that the untouchable Goddess is also nice in comparison to GuanYin, her main inspiration. Dark Cacao has genuinely loyal subjects he treated as equals. Their vices are genuine and clear, Mystic Flour does not discriminate in terms of destruction, but Dark Cacao is willing to listen to others. Dark Cacao is moving forwards and Mystic Flour is stuck in the past. They're in a stalemate in terms of influencing one another, and honestly, I like that. God Complex Woman and a King who truly earned the respect from his subjects.

Burning Spice is willing to destroy and discard his loyal generals and such all the way through, even laughing at Nutmeg Tiger, getting beaten up. His ideology was spread with how the Spice Swarm did not hesitate to use refugees as a way to block Golden Cheese. Meanwhile, Golden Cheese cares for her subjects individually and others as well, evident when she saved the young Kulfi that led to her defeat. With the leaked title of the next chapter, I can't help but think her acts would what eventually get the Spice cookies to go against Burning Spice, when they obeyed him out of fear for so long.

I don't have a comparison for Shadow Milk rn and probably won't because he annoys me.

Anyway, thanks for reading if you did read this.

[stargazeraldroth]

Choco Cone Cookie AU

So I came up with a Cookie Run AU a few days ago, and... I’m gonna talk about it here, but the idea is- it’s not stupid, I think it’s very interesting (because I’m an AU nerd), but it might come across as dumb to others. I call it the Choco Cone AU.

So basically, the premise of this AU was a part of my “Dark Chocoverse” brainrot where I imagined Dark Choco Cookie in different roles for characters. One of these roles was him being in Strawberry Crepe Cookie’s place, where he’s associated with Wafflebots and is the initially unnamed Cookie the crew meets in the Vanilla Kingdom. And then I started building more onto this idea because I was hyperfixating on the theme of Strawberry Crepe Cookie’s character, which a cyborg-like character who does all these analysis things and techy stuff and yeah.

For the most part, the AU’s been kinda comical. I’ve been talking about it with friend, who I share just about all of my brainrot with, and there’s been more comical scenes than angsty ones, which is a new record for me I think. Like, the scene we just talked about today was a Licorice Oozling getting loose in the Black Citadel thanks to Dark Choco Cookie, and how he’s trying to track it down and catch it before the others find out.

I’m also trying to figure out the backstory/lore for this AU. Like how Dark Choco Cookie ended up in the Vanilla Kingdom and how he ended up fused with these Wafflebot parts, becoming a cyborg and all. The current thing I’m going with is that he suffered some kind of tragic accident and needed life-saving surgery, as he lost limbs. And, at least in this AU, not even Pure Vanilla Cookie’s miracle magic can reattach lost limbs. Maybe the accident in question, if I keep this plotline, could be related to the Dark Flour War with everything going on.

As a result of the accident in question and the spell that sealed away the Vanilla Kingdom, Dark Choco Cookie suffered total amnesia. He remembered basic knowledge and stuff, but he forgot everything about who he was, including his name and where he comes from. But he did still remember that he was a Cookie. There are moments where he can experience deja vu related to his past, such as the licorice smell coming from Licorice Cookie (and probably his name alone tbh) and Dark Enchantress Cookie. He doesn’t know WHY he gets this sense of deja vu and longing, but he does, and it can be pretty distracting at times.

Now, this AU doesn’t get rid of Strawberry Crepe Cookie entirely. The skrunkly still exists in this AU. I don’t really know how I’m going to implement them into the story/setting, but the idea I got not too long ago was that Strawberry Crepe Cookie found Dark Choco Cookie and they’re kinda like a little found family. Obviously this leads to some conflict come Cookie Odyssey and Dark Cacao Cookie finds out that his son is, in fact, still alive. Pretty much hasn’t aged a day and didn’t even know Dark Cacao Cookie or the Dark Cacao Kingdom existed prior to the Council of Heroes, but that’s a topic for another day!

Like, Dark Choco Cookie’s character here isn’t a carbon copy of Strawberry Crepe Cookie. That’s not what I want. Unlike Strawberry Crepe Cookie, who seems to have known how to navigate Wafflebots and data from the moment they gained awareness, Dark Choco Cookie has no idea what is going on. The kid even designed a similar headset for him, one based on the Choco Cone Lancers, and he’s just looking at the data stream like (:D)

At the same time, Dark Choco Cookie’s cluelessness when it comes to technology isn’t solely played for laughs and he’s not just additional comic relief in the AU. Here, he’d be a much stronger opponent than Strawberry Crepe Cookie, especially in terms of the lore and what the boss battle was like from a lore perspective. Because although his brain memory is gone, his muscle (dough?) memory is still there, and he’s an experienced fighter. In this AU’s storyline, Strawberry Crepe Cookie would run to Dark Choco Cookie and be a little tattletale on GingerBrave and friends, and then they’d fight for that reason. Like, what I’m picturing is Dark Choco Cookie holding like a laser cannon and aiming it at the main crew, despite 4/5 (4/6 if you count Healer Cookie) being literal children.

Btw, the name of the AU comes from Dark Choco Cookie’s amnesiac alias, which is literally “Choco Cone Cookie”. He and Strawberry Crepe Cookie could tell that he has a high chocolate count in his dough, and since Strawberry Crepe gave him the similar headset, he took the name “Choco Cone Cookie” after the Wafflebots.

I might write more about this AU and elaborate on it some, maybe even actually write something or draw something (I’d say you can count more on the writing part), and yeah. That’s about it for now.

[quibbs126]

…Okay, you may end up seeing these drawings yet again on a later date

I finished the page, which was small at 500x500 px, but I wanted to make the page bigger. I did that, and I drew one new thing, but now I don’t know what else to draw on there. So for now, I figured I might as well post the original full page right now

Yeah, sorry for the laziness

This is the other sketch I finished on there, for those curious

Anyways, so yeah, this new style practice I’m trying

The original page I tried these out on is this, which also isn’t full, but I thought trying it out with actual characters instead of just random poses and shapes would be better, so I switched over to Cookie Run characters

The method is still a work in progress when it comes to all the shapes and the red sketch layer

I suppose what I should do now is try drawing a bunch of different Cookies that have different body shapes, so that I have practice with that. As well as maybe attempt some full body ones

I suppose you can suggest some if you want, considering I don’t know who to draw other than like, Hollyberry or Avocado, since I should try drawing large but not buff characters here. But I should also probably draw more skinny, and also chubby

But on to what I actually drew

So I already talked about Peach Blossom and the top Dark Choco drawing prior, so no real need to elaborate

The Dark Choco and Dark Cacao one was me drawing them in their younger forms to see how they compare. Not for any sort of study thing, but just in a symbolic sort of way. Since they’re so similar looking

I think I had a lot more fun with Choco, especially his hair. I remember Cacao being mostly annoying for his weird cloak thing that I don’t understand

The hand pose was ass though. I knew the general idea of what I wanted, that being them with their hands over their swords, but I was struggling to figure out how to draw the hands. Not to mention I had to change the pose from the red sketch because the swords were further down than I put them. I still don’t think I did the pose exactly correct, but screw it, it’s good enough

I’m also noticing that Choco looks way lighter in skin tone compared to Cacao. Like yeah, I know he’s normally slightly lighter, but it’s far more noticeable here. I’m pretty sure it’s because I used Dark Choco’s ToA colors here (bc they work better with my black lineart), which are slightly lighter, as well as just that Dark Choco is wearing much lighter colors while Dark Cacao’s are relatively darker. So maybe it just makes them contrast more

I liked drawing them, but I also did basically do the same body type 3 in a row, so I should probably draw different characters

Anyways, let’s talk about that extra sketch

So for those who likely don’t remember, that there is an OC of mine called Prickly Pear Cookie

I made her entirely on a whim one day, and she doesn’t really have any character or story, just vibes, but I really like her design and wanted to draw it again

I probably should give her some sort of bra though. The shirtless chest looks cool but in my opinion sounds really uncomfortable without at least that

I did originally draw her with the green skin, but it looked weird so I shifted it to more of a yellow so it looks more human

Honestly I really like how she turned out

But yeah, I think that’s about it for now. Just wanted to show this

[randomspagetti]

Buddy. Love you/p. You’re great. Affogato cookie was not being genuine when he said that he agrees with Dark Cacao on the wall and keeping the citadel locked. (His words of wisdom) Affogato is very against the wall because his relationship with Dark Cacao is supposed to parallel Choco’s.

Affogato is seeming to agree with Dark Cacao in the prologue of world 13 because he’s trying to remain in his good graces before he stages his coup. Because Affogato was planning to get rid of Dark Cacao before the COD arrived.

Dark Cacao isn’t a bad person and you were still making tons of points in your post but?? Dark Cacao is still a morally gray character and he makes bad decisions based on his traumas and the way he’s acting in 13-14 is at the pinnacle of a major spiral?? He chose to lock out the world and focus on the wall and that was a bad thing to do but he’s not a bad person.

Sorry if that doesn’t make sense but I like 87% agree with you but like. That one thing. Common misconception.

Yeah that's literally what I said 😭 Cacao isn't a *bad person* he's just a person who made horrible decisions for what he assumed was the greater good but actually just more trauma produced idiocy.

I genuinely think if Cacao actually knew the harm that was happening outside of the wall he'd make better decisions. But he didn't. The point of that post wasn't to say Cacao is a saint or just a character who "🥺 didn't mean to neglect his son and forgot about the people outside" because I could bet he'd know to some degree they'd face hardships without the watchers. I'm saying he didn't know how bad it genuinely was, and gravely miscalculated.

Someone also brought up that DCK needs a better system of affo is the ONLY person talking to these people and I agree.

Also I know Affogato didn't actually agree with Cacao about the wall, I also had a convo with someone against this. My best guess that since this was before he met COD his original plan was to stage a coup by making his citizens hate/distrust them. That's also why he said he agreed on the wall and lied about how bad it was. He obviously didn't believe it, he just needed for it to continue so the people would get angry enough to be fine with him getting yotted to the sidelines.

I'm sorry I love talking about lore this probably comes off like a ramble, also it's okay if you disagree with me. If everyone thought the same thing crk lore would be boring ��

[o-wyrmlight]

when i read your post about how pure vanilla would go about the soul jam request my kind immediately went to the “get the fuck out” drawing from a few months ago. an iconic one might i add

Oh yeah that would legit be his initial reaction, I believe. It's understandable for him to be suspicious about the idea of someone claiming to be from the same place that your people fled to. Of course someone might try to lie about it to exploit that lingering sense of responsibility to get your tool of great power and immortality! He isn't an idiot. And while it's certainly a possibility, it's important to be doubtful until it's actually proven.

So that's a fantastic foot for Clotted Cream to start on /j.

But in terms of the actual arrangement, it'd go something like this:

Clotted Cream continues requesting all three of the Soul Jam. Pure Vanilla very adamantly doesn't see the need for all three Soul Jams to be sent to the Creme Republic. If what they're going to do is research them, then wouldn't they truly only need one?

He understands the need for the Creme Republic to have the power if they truly are facing off against Dark Enchantress Cookie. He understands the need to share the power to give them all a fighting chance, but he feels very strongly that it's important to remember that--at least--Dark Cacao and Hollyberry have their own kingdoms that they need their Soul Jam for. Dark Cacao still contends against the Licorice Sea, and Hollyberry's allows her to face against Pitaya Dragon easier.

Pure Vanilla, though, is a king (if we're going with a more canon timeline) no longer, so he has little need of his Soul Jam for now. The kingdom is less of a kingdom and more of a budding village for the cookies that he's helped protect and take care of--or, if we're going by my Vanilla Extract AU, cookies that lived beneath him in suffering without his knowledge. So he has little need of the Soul Jam for the time being--if Clotted Cream is taking any, he'll be taking his, and his alone.

Because it also seems incredibly stupid of them to send all three of their powerful Soul Jam to the Creme Republic when a) they don't know if they can fully trust the Creme Republic, b) there's no telling if the Creme Republic will end up misusing the Soul Jam or is secretly teamed up with Dark Enchantress, c) it'd leave all three of them open to an attack by Dark Enchantress Cookie, and d) even if they can trust the Creme Republic, surely if word gets out about the Soul Jam, there will be attempts to steal them.

Besides, Espresso and Madeleine came to the Kingdoms to find 'a' Soul Jam, so surely only one would be enough?

So Clotted Cream can either bring only one Soul Jam--Pure Vanilla's--to the Creme Republic, or he can go home empty-handed. But he is not going to let Clotted Cream simply demand all three of them and let him get away with it.

And on top of that, he will also have Black Raisin go along with them to ensure the safety of the Soul Jam, just to be safe. And on that note, Hollyberry and Dark Cacao will still send Wildberry and Crunchy Choco Chip to come along, too. Pure Vanilla will not send Gingerbrave, because Gingerbrave is a fucking child. But that's not to say that Gingerbrave wouldn't probably try to sneak on board or something and be there anyway.

This is called 'bargaining'. This is called 'You want something that we have, and so we have every right to dictate the terms in which you get it. Either you take it, leave it, or make a counteroffer and continue bargaining.'

Pure Vanilla is considered to be the 'head' of the kingdoms' kings and queens for a reason. And it isn't just because he's nice and pleasant to be around. I feel like he deserves to be smart and he deserves to set and enforce his boundaries and limits. He doesn't want his friends to suffer because of him, especially when there's no logical need for them to do so. Especially when Pure Vanilla is logically the cookie with the least to risk in giving what he has compared to everybody else. Especially when Pure Vanilla knows nothing of the cookie making demands and claims that may not actually be true.

He's better than that.

I'm sorry, but canon Pure Vanilla is half-dead to me now because he's such a goddamn pushover. Petition to make my Pure Vanilla canon.

[chromes-corner]

New Story Update: Some Predictive and Assorted Thoughts

hi ive had so many big thinks about the update coming on thursday so heres whats been going through my head regarding some predictions and hopes (mostly about choco and cacao so if thats your cup of tea come drink this up)

this is a super long post and there are some very minor spoilers (just stuff on affogato) under the cut so fair warning

design and aesthetic

ok im just gonna say it the art/design team put their whole cookussy into the direction and style of the environment/aesthetic. like maybe its just because im a slut for lonely castles (which is why i loved the vanilla kingdom location so much) but holy fuck dude the design of the cacao castle really scratches an itch in my brain. i just fucking. adore everything about the art from what we seen and im fully expecting to be blown away by the final product upon release. i am screaming. i am crying. dont even get me started on what i assume to be the title screen thats been floating around the internet because holy fuck. the composition. THE COMPOSITION. i am such a WHORE for composition theory and it gives me so many vibes i cant even explain. oh the themes of life and death and how they intertwine and compliment each other and how you cant have one without the other and i am. a nerd for this shit. okay so basically in conclusion i will kiss everyone in the devsis art department.

affogato cookie

YESSS BITCH BE EVIL!!!!! IM SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR HIM TO FUCK SHIT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need him to interact with the other CoD. please god please please please. i want him to be so evil and fucked up he gives pom a run for her money. oh manipulative advisor of the king my beloved. i want him to do some evil shit and be completely unapologetic about it. i want to hate him so bad. i want him to be totally aware that hes a hottest guy in this bitch and to flaunt it. god. please.

caramel arrow cookie

ok so there hasnt been a ton of leaks or info surrounding caramel arrow, and im assuming theyll actually be released later into the season (maybe with an episode 14? who knows) but tbh im kinda looking forward to see what part they play, ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY WERE THE MYSTERY COOKIE IN CHOCOS FLASHBACK???? like holy fuck im so interested in that and who they are in relation to the royal family. from what im seeing it looks like theyd have a captain of the royal guard type of deal?? like a sworn protector thatll probably be the antithesis of affogato?? idk whatever the deal i hope they dont get sidelined because i really want to know whats up with them.

the licorice sea

for those who dont know, according to the artbook, the “licorice sea” is apparently a big threat to the kingdom, but the choco wall kinda keeps it at bay. recently the crk twitter posted this

which is more than likely the aforementioned licorice sea. so my thoughts on this is that. it goes hard. like what the actual hell is going on here i want to know so bad. will licorice have anything to do with this. i think thatd be cool as fuck. like he rolls into the kingdom and hes like “yeah i choose fucked up necromancy today.” idk not a lot of thoughts on this but im very curious indeed yes.

CACAO AND CHOCO: TWO HALVES OF ONE JAM SWORD

alright, heres the big part of my thoughts and hopes, so buckle in if youre willing to give this a read.

obviously, a big part of this update (or, what im hoping, anyway) is an exploration of choco and cacaos relationship both in the past and as it stands now. i know theres a chance for the narrative to completely disregard this in favor of focusing more on a “present problem” narrative, that being whatever the hell is going on with the licorice sea and the problem of affogato cookie, but i digress. i think i speak for the whole of the fanbase when i say that we desperately want a closer inspection on the royal family and how it plays into the story and the characters.

SOME CONTEXT FIRST

so, in the art book, the dark cacao denizens are described as follows:

"Harsh climate doesn’t make for a developed sense of humor. What the Dark Cacao Cookies genuinely excel at is combat. From a young age they learn weapons or martial arts. When the time comes, an apprentice finally receives a sword to defeat a wolf on their own and complete the coming of age ritual. and although the Cookie was allowed sweet cocoa or delicate milk chocolate, it is only bitter food from this point on. The Dark Cacao consider bitter food a constant reminder of perils and death. As a result the Cookies are not afraid of crumbling, but rather despise dishonorable living."

"Having to cope with dangerous beasts and a harsh climate that makes farming extremely hard, all Cookies of the Dark Cacao Kingdom undergo rigorous combat training from a young age. With peril always lurking nearby, the locals tend to cultivate asceticism and abstain from pleasures."

keep this in mind as you read, as my thoughts stem from these cultural lore tidbits.

RANDOM THOUGHT

i just want to point out that the art book directly mentions “asceticism,” which, for those who dont know, is a form of not partaking in pleasures. the thing that really makes me curious, however, is that the word is specifically about sexual/sensual pleasures. i have exactly two thoughts on this:

1. are you telling me the cookies have sex

2. so like is it a shunned thing to have children?? assuming the cookies do, in fact, reproduce sexually??????????????????

(OKAY I KNOW IT PROBABLY MEANS SOMETHING MORE ALONG THE LINES OF “THE COOKIES DO NOT HAVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS WITH ONE ANOTHER” BUT MAN!!!! WORD CHOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

(also i highly doubt there is sexual reproduction in this universe but that is a topic for a whole other post that i will one day write. mark my words.)

anyways

THEIR RELATIONSHIP IN THE PAST

so theres been an image from the art book floating around for quite some time:

and many are hoping to finally receive some context for it. here are my thoughts on it: dark cacao was not a traditionally “loving” father. thats not to say that he was ab//sive, just that he was more than likely emotionally absent, if we are to believe he upheld the commonplace behavior of a dc citizen as described in the art book. 

so honor is a big thing in this society, and, according to the art book, death is literally preferable to living in dishonor. so, some thoughts (take a shot every time i say thoughts) and headcanons that will probably be obliterated once this update rolls out:

dark choco did not excel as a child. he wasnt a “failure” by any means, though. he was perfectly average in his studies and activities, but average doesnt cut it for the kings son. while already dismissive of the prince with his kingly duties, cacao only grew colder towards his son when he couldnt live up to his wild standards. young dark choco, seeking out the love and nuturing from his father, only received a cold, emotional barricade.

so he trained. and he trained. and he trained. dark choco was never seen without a sword or bow in his hand. he won tournaments. rescued villages. vanquished threats. the citizens loved him; saw him as a great hero. cacao did not see that. his son had yet to prove himself worthy of his title. no matter what choco did, nothing pleased his father. he eventually rebelled against his father, so set in his ways, claiming change was what they needed. cacao dismissed him as immature and not knowing what he was talking about. so one day he set out on a self-imposed journey to finally prove that he was a hero. a sword of great power lay somewhere. a sword that would give choco the edge he needed. i think you can figure out what happens from here.

THATS MY STORY PREDICTION!! IT WILL PROBABLY BE COMPLETELY WRONG BUT DAM I THINK ITD BE A GOOD ASS ARC!!!!!!!

THE PRESENT

choco and cacao: the line in the sand

as pessimistic as i can be (see my prediction bingo) i do believe the royal family will come to a clash in this story. and boy. they can either make this amazing or completely fuck this up. there is no in between. heres what i think both outcomes would be:

THE FUCKENING

a lukewarm reconciliation is exactly how you fuck this up. i will be real here:

dark choco should not be redeemed here.

yeah, i said it. but, do take note about how i said he shouldnt be redeemed here. i wouldnt mind seeing a redemption for him. eventually. just not quite in this arc. you see, this is a great place to begin the redemption. to sow those seeds of doubt into chocos head that maybe, just maybe, his path is not a linear one. a rushed redemption is poor writing and not satisfying at all, especially for a character like choco. he seems the type to strictly convince himself that the world is black and white and that you are either one or the other. he needs to start seeing those shades that fall in between, but slowly through his arc. all it would take is a bit of apologetic dialogue, a hesitation, or even a sabotage to his own team to save the heroes. something that gives him that fork in the road, but not something that shoves him down a different path. as the chapters continue, he should eventually find the freedom to throw away his map and to wander to where he desires. meeting his father again should just be a catalyst for this pivotal change to begin to grow.

CONCLUSION

familial trauma is a touchy subject. it is one to be handled maturely and with care, not something to throw under the table and heal through a couple half-hearted apologies. i hope the narrative team can deliver something reflective of the delicacy of this subject, and not just throw it all away because they said sorry and hugged and made up. i also hope they dont just... not give us anything on the matter. its an integral part of these characters, so to see it go to waste would be heartbreaking. i believe they are competent enough to at least give us something worthy of our time, something developmental to these characters who really honestly need the arc. im putting my trust in that.

so, with that being said, i suppose ill see you all on the 24th.

[miss-choco-chips]

F’coffee

-.-.-.-.-.-

Honestly. What did Bruce even think would happen? He should have known better.

Tim wasn’t Dick, indoctrinated from a young age to be a good, somewhat (when convenient) obedient son. Tim only went along with Bruce’s shit because, more often than not, it aligned with what he himself wanted. He also wasn’t Damian, so easily manipulable when one knew which buttons to push. And he certainly wasn’t Jason, who would sink his own ship to kill the captain.

So, when Tim and Bruce fought, and his adopted father decided to pull the ‘you live under my roof and work in my company, so I’m the boss all the way through’ card, well…

Yeah. Tim wasn’t going to take that lying down. He had a childhood of zero authority figures to obey and an overabundance of sass, plus a complete lack of fucks to give.

It was bound to go down like this.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

And, well. Tim had money. Like, an absurd amount of money. Even before being adopted by playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne, Tim had his own no small fortune stashed away, a couple of properties gathering dust, two trust funds and more antique cars that he knew what to do with. So he could just… burn through that money, or sell the cars, or make a living of renting the buildings he owned, and he would barely even scratch the surface of his deep wealth.

But it wasn’t about being able to live comfortably with minimum effort. Tim was trying to prove a point here. What point, fuck if he knew. But a point.

So here he was, on the other end of the wooden counter, a cute red cap falling over his eye as he looked dead into his friend’s eyes.

“Tim. Tim, you’re rich. Why are you working in a coffee shop?”

Seeing as Kon and Cassie were currently too busy being shocked, Tim shrugged and went back to cleaning the cup in his hands.

It was a plastic cup. It didn’t need cleaning, he could just toss it away. But it was his favorite plastic cup, and he was gonna save it as a family heirloom forever.

(The fact that the pretty customer from the morning shift had drawn cute little doodles all over it had nothing to do with it’s worth.)

“Teenage rebellion”, he finally said, carefully putting his treasure away.

“You are twenty.”

“Time is a social construct and I’m but a slinky falling down an endless flight of stairs.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Your face doesn’t make any sense. How is it so symmetrical? It defies nature.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

“What can I get for you?”

“I'll have a mocha caramel latte-chino, made with skim milk, no whipped cream.”

“Bart, no.”

“Please put that in a grande cup”

“I’m begging you, don’t do it.”

“But use the same amount of coffee that you'd put into a tall.”

“I’m warning you, you don’t want to do this.”

“That way there's about an inch of extra room on top.”

“I wish you had an extra inch so I could look straight into your eyes when I murder you.”

“To stir in my own nutmeg without spilling any coffee at all.”

“You’re dead to me. Also, I AM going to make you that drink and you WILL finish it or so help me God.”

“What do you want, Kon?”

“To not be here when Tim’s looking like he’s planning both our unsolved murders.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

When Kon entered the shop, the messenger bag slung over his shoulder bumping against his hip as he rushed in to get his caffeine intake before his evening classes, he wasn’t surprised at the scene.

Cassie being there was a given, since there was always at least one of them there at all times, supporting Tim in this ‘independence’ thing he was dead set on trying. Kon himself had his Tim Shift later that day, after his creative writing course. Bart had probably just left, considering the amount of empty cake platters littering the counter.

Tim being face down in said counter, uncaring about the mess, was also old news. The dude barely ever seemed to leave (Kon was almost completely sure he actually owned the place, since he’d never seen any sort of manager and Tim’s hours seemed to work around his weird sleep patterns all too perfectly), and distraught was his general state of being, so. Normal day as far as he could see.

Still, he had to ask. “What is it today?”

Cassie, eyes never leaving her magazine, chin resting in one hand as the other one scratched at Tim’s scalp, snorted.

“A cute boy started working in the tattoo place next door. He came in for a morning fix, when Tim was barely awake, and he said something stupid, so he’s been having an existencial crisis ever since.”

“I said ‘you too’, Kon. He said ‘thanks for the coffee, I’ll enjoy it!’ and I said ‘you too’. What is wrong with me?”

Kon snorts a little. Tim doesn’t seem to be very interested in doing his actual work, so he just jumps over the counter and starts working the machines himself.

“You know that’s a question you can only ask your therapist, Tim, but if you need to know, I’d say you’re highly sleep deprived and a dysfunctional bi?”

At that, Tim does turn to look at him. There’s some cake frosting clinging to his eyelashes, and his hair is a mess. It looks cute, to be completely honest, and Kon has to leave his unfinished latte on the side so he can hug the little shit.

“Aw, don’t pout, Timbo. I’m sure he thought you were cute. Just try to sleep a bit more tonight, so when he comes back tomorrow you’ll be a little more alert and won’t embarrass yourself.”

“What do you mean, when he comes back?”

“I mean, if he works next door, he’ll probably get his morning coffees here all the time, right?”

That seemed to drive Tim back into the distraught spiral. He smashed his head back into the counter, making dying whale noises until Cassie’s hand returned to his scalp.

Kon privately thinks Tim’s life is starting to sound like fanfiction. He wonders which type of background character he would be, in it.

-.-.-.-.-.-

The shop is called F’coffee. That’s why Cassie is convinced Tim is the actual owner; no one else would really think that’s a proper name for a serious establishment. Kon isn’t convinced all the way yet, but with Bart on her side and Tim staying silent on the subject, it is just a matter of time until she convinces him it’s totally okay for him to do his gym routine there. She thinks, with Tim being his own boss, no one would tell him to stop it, and it would help his friend’s business to bloom with new customers.

The place's general aesthetic is exactly what you would expect, with old wooden tables, comfy chairs, potted plants hanging from the walls and tall windows just a little bit stained. The smell is constantly of the strongest brew Tim has, Death Coffee (which he’s actually not legally allowed to sell, so he keeps it for himself), and just setting a foot in makes her feel instantly awake. It's also always warm, and the sweets on display look mouth watering no matter your personal preferences.

In short, it looks like something out of a movie. It’s a tad too perfect for her friend, but she thinks it also fits his obsessive need for perfection.

Except for the board. Oh, the board. Cassie loves it more than life itself.

Tim has divided the drinks in categories. And made up names for all of them.

“Yes, hello! I’d like to order a grande, iced, sugar-free vanilla Latte, with soy milk, but I can’t seem to find it in your menu…”

Tim’s dead eyes turn to Cassie for a second, before facing his customer again.

“You’re probably looking into the Normal People section”, he points out, before raising his hand to signal a bit to the left. “There you have the Pain In The Ass selection. There’s nothing just like you asked, but you have the It’s Britney Bitch beverage, which is almost exactly the same except I’ll add a middle finger drawing in the cup and charge you extra for emotional damages. Also, we’re out of soy milk.”

Or…

“Hey, good morning! I’d like to order…”

Tim raised a hand, stopping the chirpy, good looking young man dead in his tracks.

“Don’t tell me, I know what you need. I’ll just go ahead and prepare it.”

“But you don’t even know what I/”

“You’ll have a Cougar Bait. It has cacao cream, a strawberry pucker and some grenadine seeds. I think it's fitting, for you.”

And also…

“Hey, hum… Sorry, I just have to ask… what’s on the ‘Barista’s heart’ drink?”

“Cacao powder, almond milk and espresso. Also some organic coconut ash, that gives it the blacker-than-night color, that’s just a shade lighter than my soul.”

“...noted.”

Cassie snorts into her cup of Jack it up (coffee that tastes just like a Jack Daniel’s; having Tim working here has opened up her eyes to the possibilities), watching as Tim makes his own usual.

“What’s in that one?” She asks, out of curiosity, when she’s sure there’s no other customer close by.

“Six espresso shots.”

She waits for a second. Tim finishes the drink, carefully handling the dark liquid inside his favorite plastic cup.

“...okay, and?”

“And that 's it.”

“Tim, that-- that would kill you?”

“Duh. Why did you think it was called The Last Sip?”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-