#so ye! tosses u a june
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Idk how long Inky even has to live so i am manifesting milf era June
#cant say that the dreadwolf 'announcement' had me overly excited#but also cant deny that its stirred some post-trespasser brainworms again xd#so ye! tosses u a june#my art#my ocs#oc: june trevelyan#i did start out with long hair but ngl i like short hair on her as well#so might as well give her some!#its probably dyed too lol so please imagine her rocking some fancy colour(s)
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Thought I'd post some more propaganda, since people are really getting mad at ONLY /u/Spez for this. For the people in the back that are still using Reddit- this is ultimately the reason why I left Reddit.
TL;DR: Yes, /u/spez is the CEO of Reddit, but now he's beholden to the true owners of Reddit- Literal white supremacists, Chinese businesses looking to subvert American democratic values, and businesses that are desperately looking for new ways to make money after a pandemic has gutted the people dry of all the money it could take.
Let's get a little Pepe Silvia in here, shall we? Setting mood music:
youtube
Reddit was originally founded by /u/Spez (real name Steve Huffman), Alexis O'Hanion, and Aaron Swartz (RIP). In 2006, Conde Nast bought Reddit. So, if you read Vogue, Pitchfork, Wired, Vanity Fair, & the New Yorker, you may have gotten some of the same content owned by the same company- just through a magazine rather than Reddit. Also, since June 2020, Conde Nast has claimed that their advertising revenue has gone down 45% have gone down dramatically since the pandemic, alongside the cancellation of major publications by Conde Nast. Buut in 2017, Reddit was made into an independent subsidiary by Advance Publications. Sounds like an innocent enough name, until you look at which companies these lovely people own:
That Charter Communication, is just a fancy name for the lovely ISP known as Spectrum- Better known to some of our older folks as Time Warner Cable. You know, one of the ISPs so hated in the United States that they actively changed their name so that people wouldn't recognize them doing their dirty work again?
Isn't it interesting that one of the main complaints by Huffman is that Reddit isn't getting it's due in advertising revenue? Huh. I wonder where he's getting that from. But that's only one section of the shit sandwich. Let's talk about some of the lovely* investors that Reddit's had on aboard since 2006. The list is.... interesting. 2014: A group of investors, including Marc Andressen (an investor in nearly all of the major social media networks that exist), Peter Thiel (a literal white supremacist), and for some reason, Snoop Dogg and fucking Jared Leto. 2017: Advance Publications buys Conde Nast and subsequently Reddit, raising its valuation to about $1.8 billion. 2019: Tencent (you know, the CHINESE VIDEO GAME COMPANY THAT HAS BANNED PLAYERS FROM THEIR GAMES FOR SUPPORTING HONG KONG DEMOCRACY DEMONSTRATIONS) buys a 5% stake in the company. Did I mention that Tencent is also the largest gaming company in the world? 2021: Fidelity Investments(??? an insurance firm and mutual fund????) decides to add another $700 million to the pot, giving them a whole stake as well too. So, let's tie this all together. Yes, /u/spez is the CEO of Reddit, but now he's beholden to the true owners of Reddit- Literal white supremacists, Chinese businesses looking to subvert American democratic values, and businesses that are desperately looking for new ways to make money after a pandemic has gutted them dry. Of course Huffman is going to stay the course on this one- his job literally depends on it in the first place. All of the people that make this site (what other social media network do you know that doesn't pay it's mods and is valued at $10 billion dollars) ? have been tossed to the side in favor of making money. Remember this:
Reddit and its investors do not give a fuck about their community.
They do not give a fuck about their moderators. They do not give a fuck about disability rights. Most of all? They don't give a fuck about you.
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(tumblr is well and truly broken, i had to type your ask url in manually. anyways.) you say you hate new music so here is a tradeoff - two bands, one old one new. iron maiden and zeal&ardor.
TTHANK YOU FINALLY SOMEONE ASKS..... I OWE U MY LIFE......
iron maiden:
Do I know them already?: yes | no
If I know them:
Favourite Song: run to the hills sorry for picking an obvious choice but its a CLASSIC
Least Favourite Song: 22 acacia avenue 😑
Favourite Album: its a real toss-up between number of the beast and brave new world.... they're both SO different but both so good, it really depends what mood im in. however maybe brave new world wins just by not having acacia avenue on it.
Least Favourite Album: im chewing my arms off rn. ok first off it is NOT the x factor the x factor is just underappreciated. augghhhh the thing is they have a couple of songs that are like, fine, good, not super stand-out... but EVERY album has at least two or three absolute legends on it 😭 i dont think i can do this ive changed my answer 4 times while typing this. fine. iron maiden. the self-titled one. whatever. it didnt have my boy brucie on it. nd sorry i don't think running free was their best work.
Song that got me into them: number of the beast? i guess? idk it's kind of an insane question i grew up on maiden. i know that was my first favourite album tho at least and i was really into the title track so its my best guess
Seen Live?: yes! 3 times so far & i have tickets for two different shows this june!! i cant WAIT its been YEARS i miss them so bad i miss them soooooo bad
Rate: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
zel & ardor:
Do I know them already?: yes | no
If I don’t know them:
First song youtube took me to: death to the holy
First Impression: it's interesting! they've got smthn goin here they've got a pretty unique sound.
Do I like it?: yeah!
Would I listen to more from them?: u know, i actually might! this is definitely enjoyable & i think after a few listens i'd rly get into an album. plus i'm feeling very open to ur suggestions after u had the kindness to ask abt maiden <3
Rate (from what I heard): 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
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me too ˎˊ˗
bi!peter parker x bi fem!reader
word count 1.5k
summary you and peter seemed to both have confessions to tell each other…at the same time.
warnings slight mentions of anxiety, one cuss word and just pure fluff !
authors note IM BACK !! i’m so so sorry i haven’t been active i’ve been super busy but i miss writing and posting on here sm ! alsooo happy pride month !! u all are so loved and valid and i hope u enjoy this fic to celebrate <33
you couldn’t sleep.
after what felt like hours of restless tossing and turning and even trying to calm your crowded mind with rain noises, you just couldn’t stop the thoughts in your head.
you quickly sat up from your bed and huffed in frustration.
you ran your hands through your hair and tried to slow down your breathing to hopefully slow down your thoughts.
i need to tell him. i need to tell him. you thought.
recently, you’ve been stressing about whether or not you should tell your boyfriend, peter, about…well…your feelings.
you’ve figured out your sexuality for quite awhile now but just haven’t told anyone. it was scary to come to terms with your sexuality so the thought of telling someone feels like a nightmare.
it’s literally been keeping you up at night.
since it’s the beginning of June, pride month, you’ve seen a lot of people come out to their loved ones or are just comfortable with who they are.
it made you so happy to see people love themselves and just love who they want.
and while there is no rush, you feel that it’s finally time to tell peter about your bisexuality.
although peter is supportive in everything you do and is quite literally your #1 fan, you were still scared.
will he think of me differently? will he still love me?
yes, some of the thoughts you were overthinking were stupid; peter is amazing.
yet, you couldn’t get these thoughts out of your mind.
you reached over to your nightstand and turned on the lamp while grabbing your phone as well.
when you unlocked your phone, you noticed a text from peter from a minute ago.
peter: just finished patrolling for the night! can i come over? i’ll pick us up some delmar’s :)
you sighed. it’s not like you didn’t want peter to come over, you loved being around him.
you were just scared because you knew you wanted to tell him and now’s the time.
you: that sounds perfect <3 cant wait x
after you sent your last text, you threw your phone to god knows where and squealed in your pillow.
how do i tell him? just straight up or have him guess?
least to say, you were frustrated.
while you waited for peter’s arrival, you scrolled through TikTok and saw some coming out videos pop out on your feed. there were cakes, sweater weather, bisexual audios, you name it.
but what stuck out to you the most was their reactions. they seemed so happy and proud for their loved one and they seemed so free.
you smiled at the videos. tapping from the window then interrupted you.
you turned around from where you were laying and saw peter in his spidey suit smiling at you while holding up some delmar’s.
he’s so precious.
you smiled back at him as you got up and walked towards your window. you opened it and peter crawled inside.
“hey baby.” peter sighed as he got in.
“hey.” you replied while leaning into him, giving him a hug.
“got your favorite!” peter said as he pulled away from the hug placing the delmar’s bag down on your desk.
you just smiled while nervously fiddling with your hands. peter took notice of this.
“how was patrolling?” you finally said.
“uh it was alright. i missed you though.” peter smiled nervously while scratching the back of his neck.
you looked down at your fiddling hands.
why was this so...awkward?
“well, how about you get comfy and then we can listen to Harry Styles’ new album while we eat?” you suggested trying to break the awkward silence.
“sounds great.” peter chuckled.
while he walked over to your closet where he left his clothes, you sat on your bed turning on the TV.
“y/n what’s your top three off Harry’s House?” peter asked while he was changing.
“hmm,” you thought. “that’s hard they’re all so good!”
“correct answer. i love late night talking though,” he replied.
you smiled, clicking on the album and having it play in the background.
peter then joined you on your bed with the delmar’s.
“here you go.” peter said as he passed you your sandwich.
i think i should tell him now. no wait, maybe later?
as your thoughts continued going back in forth, you fiddled with your hands more staring off into the distance.
peter took a deep sigh then noticed your nervous state.
“hey, you okay? you’ve been acting all nervous since i got here.” peter voiced.
“just got some stuff on my mind.” you mumbled, still looking down at your hands.
“hey,” he started, placing his hand on yours to stop the fiddling, “talk to me.”
you looked up at him, finally looking into his eyes.
i have to tell him now.
you got out of your bed and paced around your room, peter looking at you confused.
“y/n,” peter started, furrowing his eyebrows.
“i uh- i have to tell you something.” you interrupted, still pacing around your room.
“y/n you’re scaring me. what is it?” peter looked up at you both confusion and fear in his eyes.
he also overthought a lot.
you stopped and looked at him. you sighed and walked over to kneel in front of your bed.
“um- please peter before i tell you this,” you started, words starting to tremble. “please don’t think of me any differently.”
you looked up at him as he looked at you with the same confused look.
despite this confusion, he nodded.
you let out a breath.
“god, i don’t even know how to start,” you chuckled, nervously running your hands through your hair.
peter placed his hand on yours, a gesture to let you know he was there for you no matter what.
you squeezed his hand a bit.
“well, you know how i like boys? well obviously but- um- i also kind of like girls? well, not kind of i really like girls. but like i also really like you. i mean more then like but you know what i mean.” you rambled. you couldn’t even look at peter.
“ugh what i’m trying to say is, i’m bisexual.” you sighed. you then got the courage to look up at him.
you couldn’t point out his expression.
and that scared the shit out of you.
“fuck um- forget i said any of that.” you gulped while standing up, letting go of his hand and turning away from him.
“wait, y/n.” he called as he followed you and turned you around to look at him.
your head stayed down.
“look i’m sorry. it’s just been on my mind and i had to tell you or else i literally would have exploded. but now i regret saying anything. i just ruined everything.” you apologized, still looking down at your hands.
after what felt like years of silence, peter just chuckled.
you shot your eyes up at him, confused about why he was laughing?
“y/n, baby.” peter started, getting closer to you. “can i tell you something?”
you nodded slowly, still very confused.
“me too.”
“peter, what?” you huffed out in frustration.
“i uh,” he began, scratching the back of his neck. “i also like boys and girls.”
your eyes widened.
“wait, what? you’re bi?” you questioned in disbelief.
peter smiled softly and nodded.
you stood there for a few moments just looking at each other absorbing what had just happened.
until you pulled him into a tight hug.
he held you close to him and sighed in comfort.
you both smiled to yourselves. feeling so free.
“did we really just come out at the same time?” you chuckled softly, breaking the silence.
peter let out a small laugh.
“yeah, i guess we did.”
after a few moments of hugging, you two sat back on the bed.
“you don’t know how hard it was to tell you that,” you said after taking a bite out of your sandwich.
“how did you think i was going to react?” he questioned.
“i don’t know. i was just overthinking i guess.” you shrugged.
“well, i’m proud of you,” he said placing his hand on yours. you smiled softly at this gesture.
“and i already kind of had a feeling.” he snickered.
“wait what?” you questioned surprisingly.
“i mean yeah. the way you spoke about women, especially Doja Cat.” he laughed.
you gasped dramatically.
“well, i can say the same about you.”
“oh really?” he urged.
“mhm. your love for Harry Styles is way beyond his music,” you answered.
he paused.
“wait, is it that obvious?” he said, mouth agape.
you two then busted out laughing at how ridiculous and clueless you both were.
after the laughing died down, “Cinema” by Harry Styles started to play.
“he sounds really good in this song.” peter smirked, causing you to giggle and nod.
“well,” you started. “despite how dumb we both were to notice anything, i’m really proud of you and i’ll love you no matter what. i hope you know that.”
he grinned.
“same here, always.”
you smiled at him and leaned in closer, closing the gap between you two.
it was a short kiss. though, it expressed the love and support you had for each other.
you pulled away slowly.
“now i have someone to freak out over all my celebrity crushes with.”
#peter parker#peter parker x reader#peter parker fluff#peter parker smut#peter parker x y/n#tom holland#tom holland x reader#tom holland x y/n#tom holland fluff#marvel#Marvel MCU#spider man#harry’s house#bisexual#pride
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I find it very interesting that one of the medical education bigwigs I've been working with this year disappears once shit hits the fan and lets another more senior person be the bad guy to confront me. Especially since she was part of the reason why my entire schedule got messed up in the first place and why I had a small breakdown last June.
Granted, it doesn't help that the person being a bad guy is not super friendly to start with.
And yes a big part of why I'm dealing with some stuff right now is a result of my own actions and my own trust issues with authority fogures and my crippling anxiety with asking for help. and I fully take responsibility for what happened and work with my therapist to help sooth out the kinks.
But I do find the bigwigs politicking to be kind of underhanded and a dick move to use the more senior assistant dean as a metaphorical gun to get me to do stuff. She was supposed to work with me on this. Yet we had one meeting before I got tossed to the higher up. And she really didn't do all that much besides telling me I have a high chance of not matching and to do another specialty, and then tell me I'm at a slightly high chance of not matching again, a week before nrmp cert is due, despite me interviewing at multiple top programs in the country. This is the second time she almost uses a scare tactic on me because I may not match, sets my world on fire, and trigger a depressive episode.
I do believe that she and the rest of the deans want students to do well and to match, but my own eperi3nces and those I've heard about really makes it obvious that the schools priority is more so reputation than what is best foe the student, and so many of the "initiatives" are as much for the sake of doing something for the sake of looking good.
And the more senior dean that got used as a weapon of psychological intimidation? Ditto with the whole priority of protecting the schools reputation. But she's less sociable and less good at appearing empathetic. Less good at making people feel warm and fuzzy. Still kind of manipulative though. I'm glad I didn't go ask her for adhd accommodations. My wariness about her feels more justified.
Out of all the admin people I've dealt with, u still think my mstp director as the most sincere in terms of helping students.
Also last rant. I didn't meet any of the deans in my entire 7 years at my program until now. I literally used to walk by the more senior dean multiple times a day omw to school and omw home. She never recognized me. I am a bottom quartile student, but I've never failed a single test in the entire time I was there. I'm a lowkey student and not very extroverted, but I do solid work. The number of publications i put out during graduate school is probably in top 1-2% across the entire school. I've gotten endowed fellowships and given talks at multiple world class conferences. I don't need recognition, and i fully realize that a part of why I had those accomplishments is related to social networking related to my former PI and my parents (Also the reason I never made formal complaints about ferpa violations and whatnot despite it being a direct trigger for php). But I find it funny that when everything is sunny, the dean doesn't even recognize me even when I walk past her a dozen times a week for 6 years. But when shit hits the fan it is all "look we don't know each other, but how did you get into this situation?" "Oh. You were in treatment? Maybe you should just go back to treatment. If you are this overwhelmed right now, I don't know if you can handle residency. This transition is rough!" (Becaise God forbid high functioning ND ppl with multiple psych dx go to medical school. Also you don't know me. You don't know why this happened. You don't known how I specifically will handle residency. My therapist and psych both think I'm fine so forgive me if I ignore you). "Look I know it can be embarrassing when something like [situation] happens" (actually no I'm not embarrassed. I straight up don't trust you to a) not judge me and b) have my best interests at heart. And I think I'm pretty justified). People have said similar things about our medical education office, but it definitely feels super legit in light of recent events
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ricky bowen x reader series! part five
— starstruck au!
series masterlist, part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, part nine, part ten
IN WHICH you and ricky spend nice time together, but the ‘nice’ time together is ended quickly as ricky frets about his image.
WARNINGS lots of swearing, angst
NOTES sorta a shorter chapter and i’m not ~in love~ with how i wrote it but whatever hope u enjoy (also a note that when there are cheesy moments, i’m basing it from the movie LMAO)
text dividers from @writeyourmindaway !!
lowercase intended.
“so... tell me your favorite place you’ve ever travelled to,” you said to ricky as you walked, hand in hand, in the direction (you hoped) the beach was in.
“gotta be italy. best fans, best food, best architecture. i’m excited to go back when i’m on tour in june.”
“oh, italy’s beautiful, i’ve always wanted to go there. have you ever been to greece?”
ricky shook his head. “no, have you?”
“yeah, when i was a baby. i really wanna go back soon, i just think it’s beautiful there.”
“maybe we could go together sometime,” he said without missing a beat. you blushed. he laughed and the two of you continued walking in comfortable silence. as you were walking in the heat, you noticed a shaded area by a pond.
“c’mon. let’s take a break,” you pulled ricky over to the clearing and sat on the ground. he sat across from you. you opened your bag and tossed him a waterbottle.
“thank you,” he said. you nodded and took a sip of your own waterbottle.
“want a granola bar or something?” you asked.
“have any fruit snacks?”
“of course,” you threw him a pack of fruit snacks and he watched you with an amused expression on his face.
“is there anything you don’t have in there?”
you thought for a second. “don’t think so.”
“well,” he said. “because of that, i guess there’s no one else i’d rather be stuck in the middle of nowhere with.”
“thank you. i think,” you laughed. “minus the sinking of my grandmas car, this has been pretty nice surprisingly.”
“i agree. don’t get many moments away from reality like this.”
“do you wish you had more time away from you career?” you asked. ricky sighed.
“yes and no. i mean, i have so little free time and even during my free time i have all eyes on me at all times. but... i don’t know what i’d do if i couldn’t perform. keeps me sane, i guess,” he explained. you nodded.
“i get it,” you shook you head. “i mean, i kinda get it. obviously i’ll never experience that and i’m grateful, but i understand how it’s a difficult situation.”
ricky smiled. “yeah. thanks,” he paused. “it... seems easier here. alone with you.”
“it’s simpler out here, isn’t it?” you said softly. “quiet.”
ricky nodded but didn’t respond. you sat together, listening to the sound of the water, when the silence was broken by you getting a text.
ashlyn; where ru?
ashlyn; (y/n) did u die orr
you; SORRY!! w ricky. long story. tell u at home
ashlyn; UM OKAY???
you looked up at ricky. “it’s been a while. we should probably get going.”
he nodded and stood up, offering a hand to help you up. he pulled you off the ground and you stood up, not letting go of his hand. he gave you a soft smile and the two of you walked off, back in the direction of the beach.
“we made it,” ricky commented as you stepped back onto the sand of the beach.
“oh, did we?” you asked sarcastically. he laughed and rolled his eyes, bumping into you. you laughed and grabbed his hand tighter.
“i had a good time today,” ricky said after a pause. the two of you stopped walking and he stood facing you. you looked up at him.
“me too. one of the best days i’ve had in a while.”
the two of you held eye contact for a moment. before you knew it, you were both leaning in, and the two of you pressed your lips together. he wrapped his arms around your waist and you wrapped yours around his neck as he held you closer. you kissed for a few moments and when you pulled back, he rested your foreheads together, a huge smile on his face. the moment was ended quickly though, as someone walked past you and ricky’s eyes followed them nervously. he pulled away from you and cleared his throat awkwardly.
“(y/n)...”
you looked at him, a small smile still on your face. “what is it?”
“we can’t do this,” ricky avoided your eye contact. “i... can’t do this.”
“what?”
“it’s just... we live such different lives. you’re so, normal. and i want you to stay that way so... this has to end here.”
you stared at him, shaking your head. “what the hell, ricky? you lead me on and kiss me just to say you can’t do this? who the hell do you think you are?”
“i didn’t mean to lead you on!” he said defensively, glancing down the beach. he rubbed his eyes. “it was just... heat of the moment. i... i have a girlfriend! i’m about to get a new role in a tv show! you live across the country! it’s just not worth it.”
you shook your head and rolled your eyes as you pushed past ricky. you walked a few steps before pausing and turning back around.
“no, you know what? fuck you ricky bowen,” you said harshly. ricky stared at you with wide eyes. “fuck you for making me feel special. fuck you for having this superiority complex that makes you think you’re better than me because i’m not famous. fuck you for cheating on your girlfriend just to tell me no. you’re an asshole and i wish i never met you.”
ricky stared at you with a hurt look on his face and you turned away so you didn’t have to see him. “(y/n).”
“what ricky?”
“i don’t want to leave things like this.”
you laughed bitterly. “you should have planned this out better then, huh. have fun with your girlfriend and your fans and your gigantic house and your perfect life.”
you turned and took a few steps before pausing and turning around again. you took a step towards him and he looked at you hopefully, but you stuck out your hand. “i need money for a cab.”
he sighed and reached into his pocket. he handed you a thick stack of bills. you didn’t look at him. “i’m going to glendale, not back to new york.”
“keep it. i owe you.”
you shoved the money into your pocket and turned around and walked away from him, not pausing or looking back once.
#ricky bowen starstruck au#high school musical the musical the series#hsmtmts#olivia rodrigo#ashlyn caswell#bowen#joshua bassett#ricky#ricky bowen x reader#drivers license#hsm the series#ricky bowen#ricky bowen headcanons#ricky bowen one shots
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Camren Timeline (Tittle edited)
Hello, dear Anon.
I’m gonna answer your questions in order.
1) 2012-2016. This is the timeline that I’m gonna explain just because so you can go check based on the concerts, interviews, etc. Compared to the first years, the timeline from 2017 to today is much simpler because they’ve broken up very few times. This one here that I’m gonna explain (2012-2016), is based on what I know and also my theories. You can, as usual, disagree with me.
In January 2017, Camila talked about the evolution of her music during Lena Dunham’s Women of the Hour podcast, by explaining how she created her life story through the songs she wrote. Starting precisely from the age of 15, when she had her first kiss. She practically and inadvertently exposed the lie she has always been forced to tell regarding the famous first kiss she had when she was ‘17’. [The entire podcast has been removed, unfortunately. But you can go listen to the audio posted by 5HxCC News on Youtube, called ‘CAMILA CABELLO TALK FIRST KISS ON PODCAST’.]
According to the calculations, the kiss must have occurred between December 20, 2012, that is when X-Factor ended, and January 17, 2013, that is when they signed the contract with Syco/Epic in Los Angeles. My guess? It happened that same New Year’s Eve when the Cabellos spent it over at the Jaureguis.
Throughout 2013 until the beginning of April 2014, L and C had a strange relationship. They were friends, but they behaved and did things you wouldn’t do with a friend. Doesn’t that ring a bell? Oh, hello ‘Like Friends Do’!
2014: Become official in early April and broke up in late November. Small parenthesis. They were both 17 years old in April 2014. Oh, hello to you too ‘Used to This’!
2015: From the end of December 2014/the very first days of January 2015, to the beginning of April. From mid-July to mid-October. From the beginning of November to almost mid-December, they did a continuous on-again, off-again that lasted throughout 2016.
2016: from almost mid-January to mid-February. From early March to early April. From mid-May to early June. This makes me laugh. Only the first few days of August, then from mid-August to the end of August, and again, in hops the first days of September, and from after those hops, until almost the end of September. From early October to almost mid-October (broke up only for a few days), and then until mid-November. And lastly, only a few days in mid-December.
2) Camila suffers from one of the variants of OCD since she was 8, and despite seeing a therapist since 2013, her OCD was diagnosed at the end of 2015. C also suffers from anxiety, panic attacks, mood disorders, and depression (all linked to her OCD). These are things that we’ve been able to witness with our own eyes on more than one occasion. She’s always tried to bottle everything up and not show herself ‘weak’ in front of people, in front of us fans. The last thing she wanted was to let people know how much she was really struggling, and therefore, she always tried to disguise it as best she could. Many times, even using her humor as a shield. Picture certain events like a time bomb. Picture her depression as a progression ready to explode:
March 2015, mild. October, November, December 2015, and January 2016, medium. From June to August 2016, high, + explosion in early September, which consequently led to the permanent presence of mama Sinu.
Everything has been derived and therefore worsened by: 1) The rhythms that have always been crazy. 2) Having to deal with many people every day. 3) Having grown up in the spotlight and being constantly observed. 4) Labels that told them what to do (through management) even when they just had to breathe. 5) The expectations and the pressure they’d put on her for being chosen as the chosen one. 6) Having her relationship secretly because they’d rather pass her off as a killer rather than queer/bisexual/gay or in any case associate her romantically with a girl. 7) All the hatred constantly received.
And the list goes on… Anxiety consumed her life for a long time. Now comes and goes.
3) Yes, of course Laurinah were there for her. As were Ashlee, Normani, Ally, Hoko, Michel'Le, Lauren (Fuller), Roger, and a few other crew members who were with them on the tour. As were her family, Jenny, Sandra, Marielle, Mariana, Brooke, Megan, Tica, Rebecca, Guido, Steven, Javi, and her other Miami friends.
Guys, Camila is a private person. The fact that she’s private, however, doesn’t mean that at the time or now, she doesn’t have other friends. It wasn’t just Lauren, Dinah, and Ashlee. And as for 5H, of course Mani and Ally were there for her too, contrary to what they want us to believe. Just think about it. And don’t think that only Dinah was their captain. Who was the one who went to Taylor’s ‘1989 Tour’ concert with Camila? Who was the one who went with them to the famous 1975 concert in Los Angeles on April 16, 2014? Who was the one who tried to protect them from the paparazzi in London in 2015? And instead, who was the one who always helped them lie during interviews? Who was the one who could never manage to control her expressions at first glance in questions that caught them off guard?
Ally and Mani were captains as much as Dinah. There are billions of interviews that prove it. In their own way, they always helped and teased them. Think of the video where Ally fakes a laugh as Lauren loudly slaps C’s ass, who screams “Lauren!” Think about the performances of specific songs. One, for example, is ‘They Don’t Know About Us’, and Norminah always teased them especially during that song. Think about when fans asked Ally if Camren was real and she ran away, laughing and not answering. Think of Mani during the ‘BOSS or TOSS’ game. There are millions of other examples.
4) 3 times. But, as we saw with Dinah in that 2017 video, they may have given her intravenous therapies when she needed it. It’s common, especially for overworked artists.
Oh and, guys. I saw that the audio of the uncut interview with Hitz FM station that the girls did in Malaysia on July 6, 2016, which was released on August 5, has returned to spread. I don’t know why it’s back to spreading now since I heard it already, if I’m not mistaken, in 2017, and saved it a couple of years ago. But anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, I saw that they wrote what Camila says, and it’s wrong. Listen to the audio even at full volume if you want, but C doesn’t say ‘False’. This is what happens:
I (Interviewer): “This one an interesting one. Are Camila and Lauren dating?”
L: “No”
C: “Ugh, Jesus Christ”
I: “Yeah, I know” at the same time as what he says, C laughs awkwardly as a result of her comment “It comes down on Google 'cause people are googling it!”
L: “No! It’s amazing how people continue to do that”
I don’t know if whoever wrote that heard wrong or what. If it’s one of those “which name do you hear, Yanny or Laurel?” cases, you know? But I just wanted to point this out to you. That’s all.
Okay. Love u, guys. Stay safe, please. With love, Faby.
___
I decided to post this twice because I want to add this to a masterpost (Once I figure out how to do that)
But for real, this timeline is insane. I knew about a lot of those stuff except the last one about that interview. insane.
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U N P L A N N E D, part six
When you came home late from work on Tuesday afternoon, the last thing you expected to find was Harry sitting on your front step. It seemed unsafe, really. Jeff and Dave would kill him if they found out that he was just waiting, in broad daylight, by the front door of the stranger he’d knocked up.
It was a quiet enough neighborhood. Young families and professionals lined the block and occasionally would get together for a barbeque or a summer celebration. But that didn’t mean they weren’t nosey.
“Hi, sorry to just show up,” he stood when you got to the end of the walkway, fishing for your keys in your bag when he shoved his hands in his pockets. “I uh--Dave called, the results are in.”
You froze at that, a wave of heat brought beads of sweat to your forehead. You tried to swallow the anxiety--why should you be nervous? There was no other option.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah--s’me, obviously. He said the test was conclusive and I am definitely the father.” He let out an awkward laugh, lifted his hand to scratch the back of his neck.
You sighed, nodding for a second. You wondered if he was mad--if his heart sank when he heard it or if he suddenly wanted to disappear, flee the country and write you a fat check to leave him be.
“I knew you were telling the truth, but--it’s good. Now we don’t have to worry about that anymore.”
Or maybe not.
“Yeah,” you plucked the house key from your ring, stepped around him to unlock the door. “That’s good. We can just move forward now.”
He nodded, stepped in behind you. He let the door swing shut, a cool reprieve from the June heat.
“Was Dave mad?”
“No--he didn’t call you?”
“I haven’t checked,” you put your work bag down on the floor. Your phone was buried inside, you’d opted for the radio on the way home, a welcome distraction from an anxiety provoking email from Levi at the end of the day.
Let’s have lunch tomorrow. Want to catch you up on a few things and touch base!
“He just said we should think about some logistics.” He leaned on the counter, watched as you thumbed through some mail Lexi had left out. She often got home before you from work--the sound of the shower from behind the bathroom door was a give away.
“Logistics?”
“Yeah--some more custody stuff, more financial agreements. Living situation.”
No good mail. You tossed most of it in the garbage, let the electricity bill flutter back down to the counter. “Living situation? What about it?”
“I mean--if I’m on the road, would you come with me? How do we work out custody when I’m out of the States, that kind of thing.”
You were almost nine weeks pregnant. The conversation felt more like a topic for nine months. He could tell he’d ignited a nervousness in you, licked his lips awkwardly. You shook your head and tried to put together words. “I don’t know how we figure that out--I mean, that’s so far away and we might change our minds about how to do things once, you know, we’re actually parents.”
“Right, no, I know. Just some stuff to think about, but, it’s fine. I was just in the neighborhood and figured you’d be getting home soon. Do you want to get dinner or something?”
“It’s Tuesday.”
“It is.”
“I have take out with Glenne and Lexi every Tuesday. Unless one of us fucks something up and has to stay late at work. Which I did--but, Glenne will probably be here soon.”
He laughed at that, nodded before he shoved his hands in his pockets. “Got it. I should go, then.”
His words felt urgent--was Glenne not supposed to know he was here? Were you supposed to be keeping more things a secret than just the impending life changer growing inside of you?
For a second, you wanted him to stay. Sit on the couch and listen to you complain about Carson or Levi’s possible departure from Facebook. You’d kill to have a glass of wine and ask him all about the anxiety he felt. Ask him what it’s been like to deal with a team of professionals who devoted their entire lives to keeping your image clean, just to fuck it up after a few too many drinks.
The doorbell rang, though, only three seconds after the water shut off. You rounded the counter to open it, he raised his eyebrows and offered Glenne a toothy grin when she stepped inside, sunglasses nearly falling off her face as she balanced the two pizzas with a six pack of beer on top.
“Here,” you said, reaching to lighten her load. Harry stepped out of the way and she let the pizzas slide onto the counter.
“Jesus--traffic was fucking terrible and I’m pretty sure I found three gray hairs today.”
“Well, nice to see you too, Glenney,” Harry teased, heading for the door. “I”ll catch you all later.”
He disappeared out into the front yard but waved before the door shut behind him. Glenne let out a long breath, wiped her hands on her pants before she smiked. “How’s that going?”
You let your eyelids flutter in annoyance. “It’s not going--it’s just, I don’t know. Making the best of it.”
“I heard Dave called with the results, though,” she freed a can of beer from the plastic rings and popped it open, she was never one to hesitate. “That’s good, must be a load off to know they can’t fight anything now.”
“Yeah,” you said. You went to fetch a few plates above the sink. “That’s why he came over, I guess.”
“Jeff was relieved, to be honest. He texted me earlier about it. He meant it the other day when he said he believed you. But, it’s good, now we’re all on the same page and everyone can just kind of settle in.”
“What are we settling in for?” Lexi’s towel-wrapped head poked out from the bathroom, steam floated towards the ceiling.
Glenne smiled at the sight of her friend, an amused look on her face when Lexi tightened the towel around her chest. “Y/N having Harry’s baby.”
“It’s my baby, too,” you reminded them, opening the lid of one of the pizza boxes and looking inside. “You’re both assholes about that, honestly. Just because he’s famous we get to call it his all the time?”
“The results are in,” Glenne informed Lexi, breezing past your negative review of their language use. “Drumroll, please.”
Lexi tapped her hands on the door frame, letting out a snort of a laugh when her towel almost came loose.
“Harry’s the father,” Glenne shouted, gaining composure when she cleared her throat. “No surprise there, little miss dry spell over here.”
You gave her the finger when you pulled a piece of pizza onto your own plate.
“You really think they both believed me before the results?”
Glenne grabbed a plate and held it up for you to give her a slice. “Harry and Jeff?”
Lexi disappeared into her bedroom for a second, came back out with a t-shirt and shorts in hand as she tried to dress in the living room without giving any sort of a show.
“Jeff was nervous. He just wanted a definitive either way.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Harry never questioned it, from what I can tell.”
You weren’t sure why your stomach flipped at that. The veggie topped pizza was more appetizing now than it was when Lexi texted her order to Glenne earlier than afternoon. “Not at all?”
“You don’t really give off the pathological liar vibes,” she teased, heading for the couch. “You know, this might be hard for you to believe, but--I don’t actually think he’s as much of a sex god as you think.”
“I don’t think he’s a sex god,” you pulled a face. You didn’t dare tell either of them about how many times you thought about that night. And you definitely didn’t tell them that it was the best sex you ever had.
His lips pressed again the side of your shoulder, the duvet cool against the skin of your back. You turned your head to look at him.
“You’re quite beautiful,” he mumbled.
“Do you say that to every girl you bring up here?”
He laughed a little, eyelashes fluttered against his cheek. “Some of them.”
“You clearly think he’s had sex with everyone in Los Angeles.”
“Not everyone,” you defended. “Just most women.”
“Well he hasn’t. I think he’s only had sex with like, six or seven girls total.”
“Ever?” You asked.
“Yes!”
“How is that possible?” Lexi asked, her eyes narrowed.
“I don’t know--he’s always been pretty tame. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s dated casually and whatever, but, I don’t know. I don’t think he’s slept with anyone for a while either. At least not this year.”
Lexi pulled the shirt over her head and over the towel altogether. She shimmied the navy blue fabric off once she was covered. “Does Jeff know every detail of his life?”
“Probably more than he should.”
You settled onto the couch beside Glenne, picked all the olives off your pizza. “What has he said about me getting pregnant to you?”
“Harry? Or Jeff?”
“Both.”
“Harry,” Lexi corrected. “She means Harry.” You rolled your eyes.
Glenne took a bite, looked up towards the ceiling before she wiped her mouth. “He was freaked at first--I know that. After we had dinner that night he talked to Jeff like twice a day for a good week. I know he was worried about telling his family.”
“Right.”
“But he’s been okay, actually. Jeff was more freaked out, I think, especially at first. But--Harry’s…” she trailed off, she looked over at Lexi and then brought her eyes back to you.
“What?”
“I’m kind of surprised how much he’s made his peace with it.”
You sat with that for a second. You’d always sensed that from him, even in the beginning. A strange way of calmness about him when everything else seemed to be crashing down around you. That night on Glenne’s driveway, the stars overhead and the way he sat on the grass beside you. Still.
“Me too.” Quiet for a second. Lexi was now in the kitchen, surveying each pizza to choose the piece she wanted before she grabbed a beer and came to sit on the floor in front of you. “Am I not supposed to hang out with him?”
Glenne held her beer can in hand, she lifted her gaze to you. “Harry? No--not that I know of. Did they say something about that in the meeting or something?
You shook your head. “No--I don’t know--I just feel like Jeff doesn’t want Harry to be on my side.”
“Fuck Jeff,” Lexi laughed, biting into the slice on her plate.
Glenne ignored Lexi’s comment, took a sip and thought about it. “No. He just wants everything to work out. He doesn’t want anything to--” she trailed off again.
“What?”
She dropped your gaze for a second, as if she was contemplating saying something she knew she shouldn’t. “Look,” she sighed. “I think Jeff’s biggest worry is that it could get messy, you know?”
“How?”
“I don’t know, I guess if either one of you develops feelings, or something. I just think Jeff wants everything to be thought out and planned and executed accordingly,” she laughed at her own words.
“Bitch you sound just like him,” Lexi laughed.
“Bitch I don’t care,” Glenne made a face before she giggled.
Planned. Of course Jeff wanted it to be planned. You wanted everything to be planned too. You wanted everything to have a sequence, a logical order and a contingency plan, just in case.
“That’s not going to happen, though. The feelings shit.” You took another bite of pizza, as if chewing would hinder them from asking any more questions.
Glenne smiled knowingly. “I mean--yeah, it might not. But--he’s also--”
“Cute, talented, famous,” Lexi counted off, raising her eyebrows in a suggestive way.
“You guys--you’re acting as if I have no self control.”
“You’re pregnant with his child,” Lexi retorted. “How on earth do you get pregnant with someone’s baby and start hanging out and having dinner and not have any feelings for them--especially when it’s someone like him!”
“When you’re an independent adult who has her own life.”
She gave up. She rolled her eyes and opened her beer and let Glenne take over. “You wouldn’t be the first person, Y/N. It’s just not as simple with him, you know? A lot more at stake.”
“I get it!” You said, voice a bit more distressed now. “I know what you’re saying, you don’t have to worry.”
“How often are you seeing him, anyway? One of you said something last week at brunch about it--but, I wasn’t about to put you on trial in public.”
“How thoughtful,” Lexi ragged.
You waited. You looked around the room. The clock on the wall ticked, Glenne took a sip of beer. You looked down at Lexi, knowing that she’d never let you lie your way out of this one. “I don’t know. I’ve seen him a few times.”
Her ear met her shoulder, a hesitant smile. “Aside from the meetings and stuff?”
You nodded. Took another bite, buying yourself time.
“And the doctors appointments?”
“We had dinner that one time at his house--that’s what he was referring to the other day.”
Now it was her turn to nod. She wanted you to say more.
“But we had dinner two other times. Casual--literally In N’ Out. But--I don’t know. He keeps saying he wants to get to know me.”
Lexi’s eyes went wide. You hadn’t divulged that yet. The two of them exchanged a look, sent some sort of telepathic message.
“What?” You asked. “I think that’s fair--right? I’m literally having his baby.”
“I thought it was yours?” Lexi joked.
You shot her a look. “Oh for fuck’s sake, you know what I mean.”
“I think it’s totally normal that he wants to get to know you,” Glenne supported.
You sighed, took another bite and wished you could down the entire can of beer that Glenne left on the coffee table.
“He’s always been saying that about you.”
Lexi’s eyes got wide again.
“What? What do you mean?”
Glenne laughed. “I don’t know--I think he kind of had a crush on you before all this started.”
You pulled your head back in surprise, looked down to meet Lexi’s gaze. She was equally shocked. “What on earth makes you think that?”
“He’s always kind of asked about you. Back in the fall he asked, then he asked again after you two hooked up. He’s been intrigued.”
“I mean, clearly,” Lexi snickered. “He put a bun in her oven.”
“Whatever. Any type of intrigue or whatever is definitely different now,” you told them.
“I think you should go for it,” Lexi shrugged. “Worst case scenario you blame it on the hormones and he still has to deal with you for another eighteen years.”
You brushed her suggestion off. It was unrealistic. You changed the subject and successfully got them to forget about the impending chaos that would ensue if the butterflies in your stomach became uncaged or set free.
So you watched the two of them get drunk off of cheap beer--eventually option for celebratory shots in your honor, they said. You let Lexi eat all of your olives and you showed them the app you’d been using to track it. In only a few days, the baby had graduated from a pea to a cherry. They grow up so fast, you faked a few tears before bed.
Glenne slept on the couch and was gone when you woke up in the morning. She left a note on the counter. Love you and your little cherry!
**
At the end of the ninth week, you got the news that Levi was officially headed for Apple. Simone and Aarav insisted on a celebratory margarita even though you hadn’t been offered a promotion (yet), but you somehow managed to convince them you’d appreciate a celebratory milkshake instead. You threw it up entirely once you got home--the nausea was getting much worse.
But on the tenth week you rounded a corner. You woke up one morning excited for coffee. It was rare now, really, that you woke up hungry or even in the mood for a cup of coffee before you got to work.
And everything was fine. The smell of it was fine, the look of it was fine. You took a sip and swore that something was off. Then you took a bite of the buttered toast and that was off, too.
Another bite. Another sip. Something was definitely wrong.
You stared at yourself in the bathroom mirror, wondering if you’d truly gone crazy. You stuck your tongue out, moved it side to side to take a look. Nothing.
The phone rang twice before he answered. “Hi,” he said, voice groggy and low.
“Everything tastes like pennies.”
“What?” He cleared his throat, you could hear the sheets ruffling beneath him. “Why? What do you mean?”
“I mean everything tastes like pennies.”
“Everything?”
“Yes, everything,” you looked at your watch. 8:21am. He was definitely out cold, and now, instead, he was dealing with what may or may not be a pregnancy induced delusion. “Sorry--I know it’s early. I just don’t have anyone else to panic with.”
“Where’s Lexi? Are you home alone?”
“She’s on set already. She’s sick of hearing me complain about symptoms anyway. And I guess,” you let the real reason slip out, “I haven’t talked to you in a few days.”
He laughed a little. A quiet one, an early morning, half-asleep laugh. You wondered what he looked like when he first woke up. You shook your head--what a stupid thought.
“I know, love--you’re the one who’s been too busy to see me. What are you doing after work tonight?”
“I dunno, probably googling what the fuck is wrong with me.”
“Don’t think anything’s wrong with you. I can call Dr. Weston, though, if you want.”
“No,” you said. You refused to let him do anything boyfriendy, that felt too weird. “It’s fine. I’ll just google it.”
But you didn’t have the chance. By the time you hung up and got yourself put together enough to head for the office, a link came across your phone, a message from Harry.
Harry (8:31am): Link: Metallic Taste in Mouth during Pregnancy (Dysgeusia) - whattoexpect.com
You smiled at the text. A flush on your cheeks and a somersault in your belly. Not the kind reserved for a friendly interaction or a nice message from a coworker. No--this was the type of stupid cheesy grinning that you did at the computer screen when you were thirteen and instant messaging boys far past your bedtime.
You clicked your phone shut and got settled at work. But he was definitely hard to ignore.
Harry (9:04am): Just read more about it. They say it happens in the first trimester so that’s probably what it is, right?
Harry (9:05am): I mean, you didn’t bite your tongue, right? It’s not blood? Does it taste like blood at all? This other article is saying some people taste blood.
Y/N L/N (9:07am): Yeah it’s like metal. That’s probably it! If it doesn’t go away I’ll call Dr. Weston.
Harry (9:08am): Okay, let me know. Do you want to come to mine for dinner tonight?
You stared at the message. Glenne’s words echoed in your head. Maybe you shouldn’t have even called him this morning. Maybe you were overreacting about not hearing from him and maybe you were losing it altogether.
But it had been four days. He’d texted you the day after you saw him, after Glenne and Lexi had lectured you about everything under the sun. He asked how work was and you filled him in over text about your coffee with Levi. You still had almost six weeks before Levi left Facebook altogether, still no mention of if you were going to get the promotion or not.
So maybe it was that. Maybe you were just stressed about work and the nausea was getting to your head. Maybe that was why you said yes.
And the fact that he was excited to see you only made it worse. He had music playing and dinner already cooking when you walked through the door that evening. He’d already texted you to tell you the code for the gate, just come on in, he said. I’ll be here.
He had a dish towel over his shoulder, a smile on his face as you sat and watched him cook. He promised this meal would be better, a new one he’d just seen online and wanted to give it a go.
Aren’t you too busy to learn new recipes? You teased. Musician, actor, and chef?
When it was almost ready, though, he paused. “Can I actually show you something?”
You sipped at the water he’d handed you, watched as he put the spatula down and headed for the living room. “I’m not a fan of surprises, to be honest.”
“Noted,” he said--but he didn’t really seem to be listening. Instead, he reached for something on the coffee table. Fabric, of some sort.
He brought it back over and put it down in front of you. It was white, tiny yellow ducks in a row. It was rolled up, but when you pulled the string and flattened it out, he spoke. “S’a onesie. I saw it out at some store--not a big deal. Just thought it was cute.”
There weren’t tears this time, which would have been almost expected. Instead, a warmth in your belly and a fire beneath your ribs. You smiled up at him. “It’s adorable.”
“Figured she’ll look good in it.”
“Or he--yellow,” you laughed. “Very gender neutral of you.”
One day there’d be a baby inside of it. Ten fingers, ten toes, eyes and a nose and a mouth that cried for both of you. He avoided your gaze for a second, you folded the onesie back up and let out a breath when he went back to the stove. “Are you scared at all?”
He laughed a little, bit on his lip and smiled as he stirred the contents of the dish. “Terrified.”
“Really? You’ve been so--calm, this whole time.”
He shrugged, turned the burner on low and rested his elbows on the counter. “I think I didn’t want to freak you out. I could tell from the start that you were losing it, really. Going quite mental,” he laughed. “I just wanted to be there for you.”
“Well...I appreciate it,” you said. “I’ve needed that.”
He nodded, the sun was setting behind you, casting a glow to the living room. He didn't say anything when he walked around the counter and let his arms drape over your shoulders, pulling your face into his chest. He didn’t say anything when he kissed the top of your head and then let go, an electric current coursing through your limbs.
“She’s a cherry now.”
He went back to the stove and nodded. “I know,” he said. “I got the same app.”
More butterflies at that. He was paying attention? He cared? He was also tracking the growth of your little fruit on an app with pictures and daily notifications?
You bit at your lip. “Soon she’ll be a pear.”
“One day she’ll be a cantaloupe.”
You faked a look of fear. “That’ll be tough.”
“I think you’ll be alright.” Quiet for a second, then he corrected himself. “We’ll be alright.”
**
Lexi begged you to come. She’d been telling you about it for a good two weeks leading up, but it didn’t make you want to go any more.
Glenne loved you, you knew that. It wasn’t a question of if she wanted you there or not, or if Lexi wanted you there. It was more a question of if Jeff wanted you around and if Harry wanted you around and you didn’t feel like finding out, especially not when the size of your belly had slowly increased, but not enough to make you look anything other than bloated.
So a bathing suit was a no go. There were too many people who didn’t even know about this. Jeff’s friend Zack and his girlfriend Mira. Glenne’s younger sister Heidi and her favorite coworker Nicki.
So you’d planned to spend the Fourth of July alone on your couch with some ice pops. You were more than happy to watch the fireworks on TV and get an early night of sleep, only interrupted by a drunk Lexi stumbling in at 2am.
But apparently, Harry wouldn’t have it that way.
“I’m freezing,” you said, reaching forward to push the vent away from you, he took a left turn into Jeff and Glenne’s neighborhood.
“You were hot three seconds ago,” he said with a smirk, turning the knob to lessen air in the car.
“I’m pregnant,” you said, turning to look at him quickly. “And it’s your fault,” you joked.
“You know, for someone who said she wouldn’t hold that against me, you’ve done a lot of holding that against me.”
You tried to fight the smile but couldn’t. He’d shown up unannounced. At first he said he just wanted ice cream. There’s nowhere good near my house. All the good places are near yours.
But when he told you to pack a bathing suit and a change of clothes, you figured a dingy Dairy Queen down the street wasn’t the actual destination. You already told him why you didn’t want to go when he invited you a week ago.
I won’t really know anyone there. I’ll have to pretend I don’t know you. Jeff seems annoyed by my existence and I don’t feel like pissing him off more than I already have.
He swore you were wrong. He promised that Jeff wasn’t mad and that you’d know plenty of people and he swore that no one there would even notice if you spent the entire night glued to his side. He made it sound like that was an option and you tried not to blush.
And that made you remember it again: his world was different than yours. Of course Glenne and Jeff were friends with people who weren’t star struck by celebrities. Glenne’s beautiful friends from work and her gorgeous younger sister were probably grabbing coffee with guys like Zac Efron on the reg.
But that didn’t stop the nerves from going haywire inside of you when Harry led you around the back. Lexi was already there, red solo cup tilted towards the sky when you both walked up behind her.
“Look who decided to come out,” she teased, letting an arm drape over your shoulders. “Love you, mean it!”
You laughed, thankful for the sunglasses that let you scan the crowd. Jeff’s brother, check. You met him last year. Another guy from Jeff’s office, check, he definitely looked familiar. Glenne’s sister, her coworker, another girl that Lexi had definitely introduced you to at some point. So far, so good.
Glenne appeared behind you, already tipsy and in a crop top. “Hi lovie,” she smiled, wrapping her arms around you. “How ya doin’?”
“Good,” you said, thankful for a second away from Harry. He was already distracted, he offered a handshake to a guy who you swore was at that dinner last fall. “Hoping he forgets all about the bet today, to be honest.”
“Oh shit,” Lexi said, nodding. “I totally fucking forgot. He’s gonna get wasted, no doubt.”
You laughed a little, ignoring the jealousy that washed through you. You weren’t a huge drinker, a rosé or bubbly type of girl, if anything. Tequila was nice and vodka had it’s moments. But at this point, you’d kill for a sip of a cold mixed drink. Hell, at this point, you might even take a tiny hit of Lexi’s miracle weed--her words, not yours.
With the stress of work and Harry and life in general, you felt desperate. So a Fourth of July party seemed like the perfect place to remember why people use protection.
Glenne lowered her voice, let her elbow knock into your side when she looked over at Harry. “Pretty scandalous to show up here together, no?”
“What? Why?” You tried to downplay it. “I didn’t even want to come, which I made very clear to all of you.”
“Hey, things are going well in paradise, okay? Leave the girl alone,” Lexi told her.
“No one is in Paradise. We’re in Laurel Canyon.”
“Sure,” Glenne smirked.
“Alright--not hanging out with you two,” you offered a sarcastic grin and walked away, sidling right up to Harry when he turned to see you.
“Matt, this is,” a pause, a look on his face like he didn’t know what to call you. “My friend--Y/N, this is Matt, he used to work with Jeff.”
“Nice to meet you,” you stuck a hand out, offered him a smile when he lifted his sunglasses to let you get a good look at his face.
“I don’t think we’ve met before,” he said, a hawaiian shirt was unbuttoned down the middle of his chest.
“No, probably not,” you said over the music. “I don’t come around here much.”
“Y/N--do you want to go get a drink inside?”
You looked over to Harry, a bit surprised by his sudden desire. He forced a smile down at you, his eyes hoping to communicate something--but you couldn’t tell what. You followed him inside after offering an apologetic smile and a see you later, to Matt.
He tugged you towards the kitchen once you stepped through the sliding doors to the interior of the house.
“Let’s not like--y’know--pick up guys here.”
“What?”
“S’just awkward, alright?”
“What are you talking about?”
“He was into you!”
“He was?” You looked over his shoulder, watched as Matt laughed at something Glenne said to Heidi. “How do you know?” You were flattered--after waking up and feeling like your stomach had puffed out a bit too far, it was nice to know that you still had some type of sex appeal.
Being pregnant didn’t feel sexy so far.
“How do I know? He was obvious!”
“Are you jealous?” The words fell out of your mouth innocently, curiously. A wave of embarrassment at first. Maybe you shouldn’t have asked.
His eyebrows furrowed together, he pulled his chin away from you, rolled his eyes. “No, I just--I don’t know. That’d be weird.”
“All of this is weird,” you reminded.
“Yeah, well, we don’t have to add to it.”
You ignored the way he turned around, looked at Matt again and then turned back to you. “I’m gonna get--nevermind.”
“Get what?”
“Nothing.”
You smirked. “A drink?”
“No.”
“Bullshit.”
“I was gonna say that but I forgot. It’s fine.” He walked over to the counter, ignored all of the bottles of liquor and reached for a solo cup.
“You don’t have to do this.”
He shoved it under the tap and turned on the faucet. “It’s like Sober September, but--for longer.”
“Is that a thing?”
He shrugged, took a sip. “I think so.” Quiet for a second, you scanned the room again for anyone you knew.
“Does weed count?”
“Yes it counts,” you looked at him like he was crazy. Anything I can’t you can’t do either. Drugs, drinks, that’s the same thing.”
He sighed, bit at his lower lip before his mouth curved into a smile. “You’re lucky I like you.”
You didn’t want to tell him, but you knew you were.
table of contents | talk to me + join the tag list
author’s note: you have no idea how hard it is to give you this chapter and NOT chapter seven yet. Big things are coming, folks. Come chat it up with me cause *disclaimer* i’m gonna have some wine tonight so it’ll be a good time.
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#harry styles story#harry styles fic#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fiction#harry styles fan fiction#harry styles fan fic#harry styles imagine#harry styles reader insert#fem!reader x harry styles#harry styles x fem reader#harry styles x female reader#one direction fanfic#1dff#harry styles blurbs#harry styles smut#harry styles one shot#dad!harry
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Hey, loved my last prompt, thank u <3 There’s a very popular headcanon on the hp fandom that says that Hermione told Ron about her fist pregnancy giving him a baby’s Chudley Cannons’s shirt. Can you write this please?
Hi! So I’ve already written Hermione and Ron finding out about both pregnancies (and then one), but since we’re getting in the Christmas spirit over here, I couldn’t resist!
Thanks for the ask!
*************************
#1 Cannons Fan
Hermione had just finished wrapping the small box, and placed it under the Christmas tree. She’d been holding onto a secret for just over six weeks now. She’d gone in for a visit with a healer when she’d been feeling under the weather and couldn’t concentrate on her work.
Turned out she was eight weeks pregnant. They weren’t sure it could even happen with the damage from her torture during the second wizarding war. She wanted to be sure, absolutely sure, that the baby would have a good chance at survival before getting Ron’s hopes up. Miraculously, the morning sickness only ever occurred at work, and her biweekly check ups were holding steady.
Hermione heard the door open, and Ron walked in. “Hey,” she said. “How was the mission?”
“Not terrible. Glad I’m home, though. Sorry I missed Christmas Eve,” he said as he kissed her on the forehead.
“It’s alright. I’m just happy you’re home for Christmas,” she smiled.
“What’s that?” Ron gestured at the gift under the tree.
“One of your Christmas gifts, what do you think?” she laughed.
“Well, I figured, but why isn’t it with the rest?”
Sometimes having an Auror for a husband was a right pain in the arse. Even if she was expecting the third degree. “I thought you might want to open one early,” she raised her eyebrows in question.
Ron thought about it. “Are you sure? I don’t have anything for you tonight. Unless, you want to…”
Hermione burst into laughter at his insinuation. “Well, you know I wouldn’t say no to that, but it’s really okay, Ron. I want you to have it now,” she said sincerely.
“Do I need it before tomorrow?” Ron asked again. Why was he being so hesitant? The anticipation was driving her mad.
“Maybe. I figured you’d want to show it off to your family,” Hermione said.
“If you say so,” Ron held out his hand for the package.
“Are you sure?” Hermione said as she picked it up.
Ron nodded so she handed it to him. She watched as he peeled off the wrapping paper carefully. He took the top of the box off, and unfolded the tissue paper around the gift. He reached in and picked up the small piece of clothing. Hermione turned her attention to his face as he read the words on the tiny onesie. ‘#1 Cannons Fan.”
She watched as understanding etched on his face. His brows went from a furrowed, confused look, to raising high on his forehead as his eyes went wide. “Hermione,” His voice was almost breathless as he looked at her in awe and surprise. It was clearly the last thing he was expecting. “Are you really…?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes!”
Ron all but tossed the box aside and dove across the couch, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her hard on the mouth. He was still clutching the onesie in one hand. “When?”
“Mid June,” Hermione said.
“So that means you’re…”
“Fourteen weeks.”
“How long have you known?” Ron asked. Thankfully, he didn’t seem mad, only intrigued at this point.
“About six. I was worried something would go wrong and I didn’t want to tell you until I cleared the first trimester. Plus, with Christmas being so close, I wanted to surprise you. It’s been awful trying to keep this to myself for so long,” she said. It was just as much an admission as it was an apology.
“It’s okay, it doesn’t matter. As long as you and the baby are healthy. Bloody hell, the baby. Our baby!” Ron looked down at her abdomen, his eyes shining as he grinned widely. There was no doubt that this was officially the best Christmas present Ronald Weasley had ever received.
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HAPPY PASSCHENDAELE BLURB ALERT: idk if u wrote about this before, but Daniel meeting lizzie for the first time and its just lowkey love/admiration at first sight
Daniel and Elizabeth’s relationship was summarized here but their meeting was never written!! So here you go! 🥰
June 9, 1914
It was a Tuesday. An every day Tuesday in the small town just outside London. It was sunny and warm and Daniel had been sent to the main street to deliver a package to the post office for his mother. He was in his own little world, walking quickly out of the post office with a soft tune on his lips as the sun reached his face again. He shielded his eyes with his hand from the glare, trying to squint through the sudden brightness that contrasted the dark interior of the post office he had just come from.
Next door was the general store, right on the corner of the main street and Daniel passed by the front windows and the alcove where the front door was. The bell rang and he glanced up to see a young woman struggling to open the door with two large paper bags set on her hips. Daniel jumped in right away to hold the door for her. She gasped as the heavy door was taken from her back and she looked up at him from under her sunhat with surprised eyes,
“Oh! You startled me!”
“Sorry,” Daniel flushed lightly under the wide eyed stare of the blonde girl in front of him, “It just appeared that you might need a hand.”
She shifted the filled bags on her hips with a small grunt, “Thank you.”
“May I help you bring your bags home?” he offered softly.
The glare he got in response took him by surprise and the young woman scoffed dramatically, “Just because I’m a woman it is presumed that I cannot carry my own groceries?”
Daniel only bit back a small grin, trying not to look too amused by her obvious wit and he shrugged as she stared strongly back at him. They stayed in place a moment, right in the doorway of the general store until an elderly woman yelled at them to get out of the way. The two eighteen-year-olds quickly apologized to the woman and moved farther onto the walkway, Daniel making sure he held the door for the woman as well before returning to the young lady’s side. They still stared silently at each other, as if waiting for the other to say something first.
Daniel dropped his gaze to his shoes, his hands held together behind his back as he smiled to the road, shy under the strong stare of the pretty blonde girl he found himself in front of. A loud clank had him looking back up at her as a can had fallen from her bag and was rolling down the street.
“Oh shoot.” she muttered, struggling to keep the bag on her hips as she rushed after the runaway can.
“I got it.” Daniel said quickly and ran down the street to grab the dented can and returned it to her grocery bag.
“Thank you.” she sighed. “I might suppose I should take you up on that offer to carry a bag for me. Otherwise I might make myself look a fool.”
Daniel smiled calmly at her and nodded, carefully scooping up one of her paper bags. It certainly was heavy and he got it secure in his arms before following after her around the corner and down the side streets of the small town.
“Mother’s grocery list is always extensive.” she said with a strained sigh, both arms now holding up the one bag.
“My mother is the same.” Daniel admitted lightly, making sure to walk closest to the road so she wouldn’t get splashed by anything if a motorcar drove past.
“I’m Elizabeth, by the way.” the young woman said.
“Daniel.”
They stopped for a moment and both struggled to share a handshake under the grocery bags, making themselves laugh lightly before continuing to walk on.
“Your mother must be proud of you; such a gentleman.” Elizabeth said coolly.
“I suppose.” Daniel chuckled, kicking a stray stone on the side of the road as they walked.
“You suppose?” Elizabeth questioned.
“Well you didn’t seem very impressed by it so I must not be that gentlemanly yet.” Daniel shrugged, squinting over at her through the bright sun that beat down on them. Her blonde curls seemed to sparkle in the springtime sun under her brimmed hat.
“No, no. You were terribly well-mannered.” Elizabeth assured him. “My mother has simply raised me to not be dependant on a man.”
“I see.” Daniel answered plainly.
“No hard feelings, of course.” she added quickly. “My mother and I just believe strongly in women’s rights. That does not frighten you, does it?”
“Why should it?” Daniel asked.
Elizabeth smiled to herself as she continued to explain, “It frightens most men – the cowardly men mostly, I find. They are intimidated by the idea that women want to vote and have our voices be heard…worried that the ones who brought them into this world might end up being the ones who end the world, God forbid.”
Daniel chuckled softly and they fell into momentary silence.
“Do you think women should have the vote?”
It was a blunt and heavy question and Daniel cleared his throat for a moment to think about a solid response.
“Honest answer.” Elizabeth reassured him. “I will not kick you between the legs if you say ‘no’; you may just get a lecture at worst.”
“Well,” Daniel laughed lightly, “I do think everyone should be able to vote, women too of course. It’s just…who would you vote for?”
“We would hopefully have women running for office soon too.”
“Oh.”
“Does that scare you?”
“No. It just seems a little…”
“Odd?”
“For lack of a better word, I suppose.”
“I think so too.” Elizabeth agreed. “But one step at a time. Mother and I attend every women’s rights parade in London whenever we can. We are so lucky for Father who supports us and all of our crazy endeavours.”
“My father certainly doesn’t.” Daniel scoffed.
“Does he not?” Elizabeth frowned as they turned down another small street.
“No.” Daniel laughed humourlessly. “Certainly not. He is your traditional type of man, I suppose. Claims women belong in the kitchen.”
“Ugh.” Elizabeth groaned, shaking her head.
“So what do you do at marches?” Daniel asked.
“Lots of things. My favourite is making the posters with my sister the night before and we just protest on the streets of London and outside parliament and Buckingham Palace. It’s incredible.”
They came to a stop in front of a large house with sprawling gardens and Elizabeth set her hand on the front gate.
“Some of the women take it incredibly seriously but Mother and I just think that if we show up enough and have enough names down that someone would have to listen eventually. This is supposed to be a democracy after all.”
“Can I…Can I come to a march with you?” Daniel asked softly.
Elizabeth’s calm smile turned into a huge grin, “Yes! I would love that a lot. The more men we can get on our side, the better; as much as I hate to say it.”
“Okay.” Daniel nodded once. He carefully passed over her second grocery bag and she thanked him genuinely, and again when he opened the gate for her to walk through.
“Come past here on Friday around noon!” Elizabeth called over her shoulder.
“I will!” Daniel agreed.
“Votes for Women!” Elizabeth shouted, her excitement making a few cans fall out of her paper bags and she dropped them onto her front step. “Oh Christ.”
Daniel bit back his grin as he watched her shuffle to gather the cans from the walkway and stuff them back in the bags. Her hat fell off in the process and she tossed it on top of the bags with a huff, turning back to Daniel and waving him off.
“See you, Daniel!”
“See you Friday, Elizabeth.” Daniel replied sweetly before heading back off towards home. He glanced over his shoulder again to catch the last glimpse of her before turning the corner, biting back his smitten grin.
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Pulled To You
↳ CHAPTER TWO
PAIRING: Randall Carpio x June Sutton (OC) SUMMARY: In her first year at Belgrave University, June somehow goes from having a little crush on her RA to hiding in supply closets and sneaking around with him. And later finds herself a little in over her head, once a mysterious book leads her down a path she can't un-walk. CHAPTER THEMES: N/A CHAPTER WORD COUNT: 1.2k
⇢ MASTERLIST
Sifting through random notes and notebooks, flicking through the endless pages of her heavy textbooks, June was sat on the small carpet of the small floor space in their room. Luckily June had the room to herself for a little, seeing as Georgie was flying home for the weekend. June wondered who had that kind of money for such a spur of the moment trip home, but then remembered which university she was attending. So with her roommate gone, June could make as much mess with her miles of notes and piles of books as she pleased, with papers organised in an odd system only she knew how to navigate. And also play her music louder than she usually could. Distracted by all the things around her and fixated on organising her notes, June had kind of lost track of time and before she knew it, it was dark outside. And before she had a moment to think about her grumbling stomach, there was a loud knock on the door. June jumped to her feet and rushed to open the door. When she opened her door to see him there was a wide smile on her face, one he usually returned. But with her pissed off next door neighbours arms-crossed and angry behind him, Randall had expression on his face she could only describe as unimpressed. June’s smile turned into a confused flat line. “Hey, what’s up?” She asked cautiously. Randall sighed and stepped past her and into the room, careful to not step on the mess on the floor, and closed her laptop, shutting off the music. “Noise complaint.” He said coldly. June looked at the smug faces on the girls outside the door. “It’s Friday.” June said, becoming growingly irritated. “Yes, that’s also what I said, but they’re within their rights to complain.” He explained. “So, what? Is this just a warning?” “No.” One of the girls from outside chimed. Randall shook his head. “It’s just a warning. Make a habit of it and I’ll have to write you up.” He said while making his way back to the door. “Just keep it down.” June nodded. “Okay.” She said, and once he was out the door she pushed it shut before he could say anything else. He turned to the two girls and they thanked him, June still being able to hear them now her room was silent. She rolled her eyes and pulled out headphones, instead playing her music through those. Something irritated her about the exchange, especially since her music wasn’t even that loud. Especially not for six o’clock at night on a Friday. June wasn’t unreasonable and had sat through plenty of their noise, which made her all the more annoyed. Suddenly feeling grumpy and agitated, June flopped onto her bed, interrupted by a hardcover book digging into her back. She sat up and pulled the book out from underneath her, ready to drop it on the stack of books on the floor, but feeling the patterned leather cover of the book as opposed to the glossy covers of her textbooks, her stomach dropped. “What the fuck?” she asked to no one in particular. This was that book, the one she’d found outside before. How was it here? Who did it belong to? All questions with no one to ask them to. But it was still oddly entrancing, still pulling her to flip the pages, to hold it. And unconsciously, she did. One page after another, all contents unintelligible and foreign. If she looked hard enough it felt like what seemed to be words, would continuously shift. Like the book didn’t want to be read. Before she could totally freak herself out with the weird teleporting book, her phone buzzed on her bedside table.
Randall: Hey
June: hi
Randall: Sorry about that, just being an RA Randall: One that isn’t sleeping with a resident… You’re not pissed right?
June: i’m not pissed, just being a resident... that isn’t sleeping with her RA June: tell me honestly, was my music THAT loud?
Randall: Could have been quieter…
June: damn, okay
Randall: I’d like to see them live next to my neighbors tho Randall: Super loud and always yelling at kids in COD
June: oof, not ideal at all June: hey btw did u leave this weird book in my room?
Randall: Sorry, wasn’t me Randall: Hey can you open your door n maybe not slam it in my face this time??
June: depends on who’s there? you or the RA who isn’t sleeping with his resident?
Before he could type out a response she opened the door and pulled him inside. She closed the door behind her and pulled him close to her. She gave him a short kiss before pulling back and ducking away to tidy some of the papers and books scattered everywhere. “So, what’s this visit for?” she asked, speedily clearing the floor and having everything in a neat pile to toss on her desk. The heavy books thumped on the desk beside her laptop. “Wanted to know if you were hungry.” He said, lifting the bag of takeaway she didn’t notice he’d been holding. She smiled. “Wow. Kind of inappropriate though, considering you're my RA.” June joked.
June and Randall sat on her floor, eating takeaway nachos from the Blade & Chalice, chatting in low voices, making sure not to cause another ‘disturbance’. He would say something amusing and she would laugh softly, and he would smile watching her. She had caught it a few times, feeling a little shy when she'd catch his eye. Although their relationship with largely physical and they didn't get many chances to be intimate in other ways, this felt really comfortable and pleasant. She really enjoyed his company, sitting together and talking and Randall loved all forms of intimacy, the physical kind especially, but there was something he loved about getting to know someone, finding the little quirks that make them all the more interesting. “Do you like studying medicine?” June asked, genuinely curious. Randall took a second to think about it. “Yeah. It’s interesting, kind of fun in a way.” He said, “Learning how the body works together and in sync, it’s fascinating.” June nodded her head. “That does sound interesting. My mom’s a nurse, she wanted me to also study nursing but…” “You’d be good at it.” He said quietly. “Hmm?” She noticed his own words had caught him off guard, but had a gut feeling about it. Randall hadn’t been looking at her but did once silence fell. “I don’t know. I just get this feeling that you’d be good at it.” His phone rings his mildly obnoxious ringtone, and he picks it up. Muffled voices she can’t make out and his short replies. She assumed it was something private, and chose not to pry. He hung up and looked to June. “Sorry to leave like this, but I gotta go.” He stood and she followed, to politely walk him the very short distance to the door. “Don’t sweat it, I.. I’ll see you soon?” She asked, regretting it a little, afraid she had sounded… clingy? But that fear subsided when he gave her a smile, one in which she returned. “I hope so.”
PROLOGUE ⇢ CHAPTER 1 ⇢ CHAPTER 2 ⇢ CHAPTER 3
A/N: Hi! I finally got around to posting this on Tumblr while it was already on my AO3! I’m currently writing the fourth chap but it’s kinda meh so far...
#the order#randall carpio#the order fanfiction#the order imagine#randall carpio imagine#randall carpio fanfiction#the knights of saint christopher#the order netflix#tv show fanfiction
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Have you considered a Zukka soulmate AU where you feel the same pain as your soulmate does... I'm both very in love with and absolutely terrified of the concept [thinking emoji]
YES ok so there’s a post about it actually (i couldn't find it so its prob in my queue) that I’ve seen which was very funny (it involved katara going “sorry sokka we have to beat you up to slow down zuko” and advancing on him with a bat) + I think there’s actually a fic in the Zukka ao3 tag (that I haven’t actually read, I was just browsing it yesterday)
I have some THOUGHTS that ended up being long bc im incapable of being succinct so here they are:
I’m a little picky on soulmate aus bc so many of them just don’t follow common sense + take away the concept of free will (I like the idea of this person being your perfect match, but what you do about it is up to you, rather than the ones that are like “you’ll meet this person at this exact time which means that you WILL be in a place that you can meet them” which kinda takes away the concept of free will, you know??)
+ soulmate aus are notoriously difficult to make long because the idea is that you’ll get along with them because they are meant to compliment you, so fics that have them argue for NO REASON don’t work bc... why??? if you want the soulmates to not get along at first, or NOT want to be soulmates, they have to have a pre-existing relationship that would make them not want to be soulmates..... like your soulmate being your ENEMY and the ENEMY OF YOUR PEOPLE and the PRINCE OF THE FIRE NATION or like...... u know, a water tribe peasant whos harboring the 112 year old avatar
ANYWAY-- I think this soulmate au concept has the potential to be a long fic IF you’re willing to do a show rewrite bc this is one of those ideas that would be difficult to figure out at first and also difficult to accept!!
ok so, I'm thinking this would be from Sokka’s POV, bc we see him and Katara first and a majority of the show is centered on him and the Gaang. (alternatively, you could do switching POVs to also show Zuko)
you’d have to catalog every time Sokka gets hurt (+ severity) and also Zuko’s injuries (arguably more important from Sokka’s POV bc he feels them), but when Sokka gets hurt you have to throw in Zuko wincing from the injuries and subtly showing him reacting to the injuries in a way the reader notices but not Sokka (irony, anyone??)
[minor interruption: what are the rules for this universe? is it just pain you feel? is it as sharp as your soulmate’s real pain, or is it more of a phantom pain from the blow? does it fade, or does it linger? how severe does the pain have to be to feel it? feeling all their minor feelings would be incapacitating difficult, so im thinking it would have to just be actual pain, like if you were hit on the head and it throbs or if you get a paper cut, not just like minor friendly punch from a friend *cough* toph *cough*. also-- is it just pain or injuries too? if your soulmate is stabbed, do you bleed too?-- I’m thinking more the phantom pain bit. you feel the sharp sting of a paper cut, but when you look, nothing is there. did you imagine it? you suddenly feel a blow to your stomach and double over, but nothing touched you. your friends look at you weird, and you know your soulmate must be an asshole bc people punch them all the gd time!!]
ok so: sokka doesn't notice at first. the first fight he gets into with his soulmate is in the south pole, and he’s fighting a guy. he gets tossed into the snow, he can’t land a blow (and if the guy he's fighting feels anything he doesn’t show it, he’s a better soldier than that). but when he does!! the boomerang comes back and hits the guy on the back of the head, and he winces involuntarily. He thinks its a sympathy wince/pain bc he’s been hit by his own boomerang before.
when zuko is covered in a shock of ice, sokka shivers. [ngl i don't remember all their injuries, its been like a month since my last rewatch]
(aang figures out real quick katara is his soulmate. he takes one look at this BEAUTIFUL OLDER WOMAN and has to pinch himself. she yelps and socks sokka, telling him to cut out pinching her. he does it three more times for posterity.)
it takes a couple of meetings of repeated exposure that Sokka finally gets it. he’s not stupid, he just never would have ever considered that his soulmate might be fire nation. he only realizes it after being paralyzed by june’s shirshu and seeing zuko wince in the same spot. he’s too paralyzed to react properly, but Zuko isn’t paralyzed, and he doesn’t seem to realize it (it takes him ages to figure it out, actually, bc he doesn’t pay any attention to Sokka at all, actually.)
he tells katara and aang, who laugh themselves silly. that is actually the funniest joke you have ever made, sokka, katara laughs. yeah, good one, sokka! aang says. sokka gets mad and asks if katara remembers when he was 12 and dad had just left and he stumbled into the snow screaming one day like he’d been burned, clutching his left eye, but there wasn’t a mark on him? how the phantom pain had faded quickly, but unlike all the other minor cuts and bruises he had felt his whole life, he remembered this viscerally. it hurts sometimes, for weeks after that. this sobers her up quickly. it had been hard to understand for her, because she had never felt a thing in her life from her soulmate before meeting aang.
katara asks him to prove it, and sokka throws up his hands, because zuko isn't here, katara, can’t punch myself in the face to see if he reacts!!
but before he has a chance, zuko has an assassination attempt on his life. sokka wakes up screaming in the north pole, like the time when he was twelve, and the pain quickly fades, but like the burn on Zuko’s eye, this pain ebbs and flows and comes back. the healers can’t heal a phantom pain, and tell him that his soulmate has gotten into some serious trouble. (sokka tells them he wants to absolutely murder zuko which is difficult because someone else is trying to do it first!!!)
he doesn’t even have to punch zuko to show katara and aang that zuko’s his soulmate, the injuries that sokka had felt show that off pretty well, when he shows up at the pond with the moon and ocean spirits. but none of that even matters, because he kidnapped aang’s body, the moon is gone, and Sokka can’t even leave his stupid soulmate in the snow to die like he would very much like to!! after yue’s gone he doesn’t even want to think about zuko
ok im too lazy to go through the eps looking for a good place that zuko might realize sokka’s his soulmate, bc tbh he doesn’t pay too much attention to sokka (meanwhile, as their main enemy, zuko gets a lot of attention from sokka)
its possible!! he doesn’t even notice until they’re at the western air temple. sokka gets a vote because zuko’s his soulmate. zuko’s just like. what. what? WHAT??????? and sokka’s like, oh good, he didn’t even notice!!! i’m taking back my vote!! I think we should throw him off the side of the temple!!!!!!
there's a lot of teasing from everyone. toph punches him a lot and says “its for zuko”. and then keeps doing it, loudly, when zuko’s at the air temple, embarrassed. (when toph is mad at sokka she punches zuko even when sokka’s right there. she wants them both to suffer.)
katara struggles a lot during this whole thing with how often Aang gets into fights, but she grins and bears it because she’s strong!! she can handle it!! and she knows that aang likes her and would try to protect himself more (and therefore protect others less) if he knew how much it was hurting her.
forgive me for this small essay i just have a lot of Thoughts all the time and not a lot of motivation to write real things
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{21:46}
Tagging: @agust-june @pamebear @seunieshine @atinybang @aeoygi @jamiesenshi @griff-jin-dor004
Song: Me Necesita- CNCO & PRETTYMUCH
A/N: despite the gif and getting a lil handsy, nothing else happens so don't get ur hopes up😂 but I hope u guys enjoy☺ I had fun writing this
You quickly shot his best friend a text, letting him know that: yes, you got your boyfriend’s favorite food and yes, you guys were gonna hang out with him tomorrow. He had sent you a text earlier that your dedicated boyfriend hadn’t left the studio after group practice. You both contemplated on going together to drag his ass home but decided it was best for you to do it yourself.
So it wasn’t too surprising when you looked through the glass door, finding him swaying his hips into a quick-slow grind move before stopping, pausing the music to crouch down and hold his head in his hands. Your brows furrowed as you checked the time once more, he worked way too hard and you had a feeling that he hasn’t eaten anything since he’s been here.
“Aish!” You snapped your eyes back to see him kicking the air in frustration, staring at himself in the mirror wall for a second before resuming the song again and redoing the routine. You loved how determined he was but you really just wished the idiot would take a second to actually rest. With that thought, you opened the door, causing him to spin around in shock.
“Let me guess: you’ve been here since four, haven’t you?” He goes to stop the music, picking up his phone and throwing you a nervous smile when he sees the time.
“No-no…” Shaking your head, you strut over to where he is and place everything down, ignoring how he watches you in anticipation. You toss him a pointed look as you lean on the mirror wall, crossing your arms while he takes slow steps towards you.
“And have you eaten anything since then?” Again, he smiles shyly as he looks down, your feet facing each other with just a few inches apart. When he finally looks up, he’s grinning, probably to charm you out of being annoyed with him. But, yea, that’s not gonna work.
“Does a bag of chips count?” You sigh, hanging your head because, your boyfriend is such a dummy and you sometimes wonder how he functioned before you came along.
“Haaaa...... alright well, I brought food for us and we’re gonna eat now before it gets cold.” He sticks his lip out in a pout, his hands reaching out to rest of your forearms while he slouches a bit.
“No, but babeeee,” he whines, “let me work on my dance for a bit more? I almost have it!” He pulls back and claps his hands together, shooting you the sad puppy look. He knew it was your weakness and you could feel yourself rethink your decision. You mean, it would only be a few minutes, right? Wait, no, he needs to eat! You shake your head, turning around to avoid looking at his face anymore before you could change your mind.
“No, you haven’t eaten anything since you practiced with the others. That was five hours ago!” He groans, suddenly feeling his hands on your waist as he pulls you into him. He rests his head on your shoulder while you quickly glance at the mirror, seeing him pout at you.
“Fineeee, but I still wanna practice for a bit. Please?” Leaning into his body more while thinking... oo this stupid man. Suddenly, you think of an idea and grin, turning around to face him.
“Okay, I guess you don’t mind me going ahead to eat then? Practice as much as you want.” He doesn’t even try to hide his joy, picking you up and twirling you both around, giving you a quick peck on the lips when he lets go.
“You’re the best!” Rolling your eyes, you walk over to the food so you can open the containers. You can see his mouth hang open when you lift the flap to reveal the food. “Is that bulgogi?! And HUHHHH YOU DIDN’T!” You laugh at his excitement, showing him the other container. Oh he’s gonna love you, you just know it. “KIMBAP!” You just shake your head, the smile never leaving your face while he does a lil dance for the food. Quickly getting out the chopsticks, you hit his hand when he reaches for the food. He looks at you in mild hurt and confusion as you continue to smile at him.
“Ah ah ahhh, Yugi, you wanted to practice a bit more.” Glaring at you, he puffs up his face and you try not to laugh so you shove a piece of bulgogi in your mouth, not noticing how he watches with laser- eye focus. You moan at the taste of the meat, enjoying the flavors as he begins to cross his arms. Nothing is said for a few seconds as both of you to stare at each other: you with your mouth full and him with a glare that could prove that looks could kill. But unsurprisingly, he broke first.
“Babeeee,” he drops to the floor and crawls over to you, “come onnn.” You casually look over at him, making sure not to break your poker face but with him up close, you find yourself gonna break soon.
“Are you gonna eat now?” He nods, staring at the food hopefully. “Does that mean you’re not gonna practice and we can go home after this?” He scrunches up his face before sighing, hanging his head.
“You don’t play fair.” You hum, taking a piece of kimbap and showing him your chubby cheeks. Groaning, he lays down on the floor and sulks. Swallowing your food, you chuckle.
“So? What’s it gonna be? Better hurry, this food is banging.” With a huff, he sits up and snatches the kimbap you begone to pick up, shoving it in his mouth. He’s such a child sometimes but you love him anyways.
“Let’s just eat so we can go home...” You grin, handing him some chopsticks and moving the food closer between you and him. He shakes his head, confusing you on what he was gonna say. “But after you dance with me? Please?” You eye him up and down, judging to see how serious he was. He knew you didn’t like dancing, at least, not in public. But if he would go home after this, then what’s the harm, right?
“That’s it? Just one dance and you’ll come eat and go home?” He nods, placing both of your chopsticks down before getting up and sticking his hand out for you. You hated dancing in public but Yugyeom would always tell you how good you were at it, the others agreeing at the one time they all caught you vibing with a song. No one would see, right? You toss a glance at the door to make sure no one was there. Everybody would be too focused in their own dance rooms to come in and see you both dancing. Plus, you knew he wasn’t gonna budge from this. Might as well agree to this..
“I promise we’ll leave after we eat! I’ll even- hey- I'll even do the dishes for a week.” Ooo that did sound tempting. You absolutely HATED doing the dishes. Cooking? No problem. But dishes? Blech, disgusting. Placing your hand in his, he helps you up.
“Make it a week and a half and you got a deal.” You could see the spark in his eyes when as he nodded excitedly, turning over to the speakers and scrolling through his phone. Quickly looking down at your outfit, you were glad you choose some yoga pants and a crop top hoodie with a sports bra underneath. You almost feel like you planned this outfit on purpose for this but really, you just grabbed whatever clothes was near you at the time.
“Deal. I have the prefect song! And you can’t ask what it is!” You tilt your head to the side, resting a hand on your hip as you watch him still looking for the song. You couldn’t stop the smile from your lips when you saw the goofy grin on his face through the mirror.
“Can I at least know the artist?” He sighs exaggeratedly, glancing over to you and leaning back a lil to show how bothered he was from the question.
“Fine, if you must know: its from that band CNCO and PRETTYMUCH.” You raise an eyebrow.
“I know at least one of those artists.” He shushes you with one hand, looking back at his phone before letting out a yelp.
“Awesome, hear it is.” He tsks, glancing back between the spot next to you and the phone. “Ahh, I can probably make it, right? Wait- you know what?- whatever, let’s do this.” Fiddling with the phone a bit longer, he quickly puts it down and races over to you, almost tripping in the process.
“Jesus, Gyeomie, you’re gonna-“ He grabs your waist, standing behind you and shaking his head to silence you. You really wonder what song is gonna play at this point.
“It’s gonna start soon. Follow my lead.” Before you can question him, the music starts: a small voice saying something in the distance before the singers start:
PRETTYMUCH {4 beats}
Yugyeom starts to sway and you follow suit, his hands never leaving your waist as you both go along with the beat.
CNCO {2 beats}
You both sway for a second longer before he reaches for your hand and spins you around, making you face him and pulling you even closer to him. Your breathes mingle together while both of you look down, following the move of your legs.
Tu juego me sube y me baja como te conviene {8 beats}
You let your body slowly roll on his while letting him hold you up, his eyes never leaving your face as he stares in pure fascination. You step away from him, letting your fingers run along the skin of his arm as you clasped into his hand, posing before spinning back into him.
A mí se me nota que quiero lo mismo que quieres {7 beats}
When you spin back into him, he dips you low to the floor then snaps back up. Having your back facing him, you drag yourself down his body, your hands feeling the fabric slide while you finally reach to his stomach.
Yeah, you're looking so rude, looking at me (Yeah) {4 beats}
You continue to sway as you slowly get up, letting your ass grind up his leg and rest on his crotch. You hear him gasp as your movements and you can’t help but grin, the satisfaction of beating him at his own game. It’s short lived, however, when he suddenly puts his hands on top of your thighs, pushing you more into him and guiding your hips into his.
Baby, that rude girl thang, work, work it on me {5 beats}
His lips ghost over your neck while your hand lifts to run through his slightly sweaty hair. You could care less about the sweat at the moment. Right now, you just wanted to dance, to tease him with your moves. You kinda hated how much you were starting to get into it.
Cerquita en donde pueda oírte y hacer que te quedes (Yeah) {8 beats}
His hands swept up your torso, your skin on fire while he helped you slip out your hoodie, revealing your sports bra. Quickly facing him, you notice the passion in his eyes with the hint of something dangerous, making you to shiver in excitement. Okay, fuck wanting to mess with him, you just want him.
Oh me, oh my God {4 beats}
Placing your hand on his cheek, you hook your legs around his hips and swing your upper body around as he holds the small of your back, his fingers slightly digging into your skin.
I give my best, you deserve it {4 beats}
He shimmeys as you come back up, still holding you up and twirling you around before putting you down. He looks to you for permission, for what, you don’t know but nod anyways.
Oh me, oh my God {4 beats}
Walking away from you, he struts a few steps ahead and you watch as he goes off in his own lil world: his limbs moving to each beat with such fluidity that you stare in awe.
'Cause you got me countin' the ways {4 beats}
You’re so glad that he’s found his passion before meeting you because he really knows how to work his body and you honestly couldn’t imagine him doing anything else.
(Uno) She want that {2 beats}
He spins around to you, smirking as he takes a step towards you to the beat of the bass and reaching his hand out for you. But he suddenly drops to the ground.
(Dos) I give that {2 beats}
He pulls his iconic grind-on-me move and you laugh, him tearing it up with his hip grinding to the floor, his body moving around while continuing. God, the things he could do to you.
(Tres) She come back, me necesita {4 beats}
You were so tempted to stop and kiss him right now but you held back, not wanting to stop him as he’s really feeling the music. But as he hip thrusts up in the air, eyes beckoning to you, you quickly join him on the floor. Climbing over him, he grinds against you before you shake your head, giving him a quick peak on the lips and pulling both of you up. He laughs and yanks you into his arms.
No longer paying attention to the words of the song, you both just dance: making up moves that happen to fit the mood and beat of the bass. Your bodies intertwine and twist, hands roaming freely and hips swinging around. The thought of anyone seeing you guys wasn’t anywhere in your mind as you just focused on him: how his fingers ran across your skin, his breathe on your neck, the smile that never left his lips. He had to be thinking of the same thing as his moves would switch between gentle and rough but his eyes were the same: crinkled in mischievous joy, but joy nonetheless.
At some point though, he misjudged his step and tripped, bringing you down with him. Groaning once you landed on the floor, you tossed him a lazy glare as he grinned. You really couldn’t be too mad at him, he was just a dork so as you stared at each other, you guys couldn’t resist laughing.
“Gyeomie, you’re such a klutz.” He raises his eyebrow at you, still laughing.
“Says the one who spazzes out when they’re startled.” You roll your eyes, giggling while he rests his hand on your hip.
“Yea yea yea...” Sighing, you suddenly realize something. Lifting your head, you look at the speakers, Yugyeom following you with his eyes in confusion.
“What?” You point a finger up, tilting your head. The music playing was different, now it was some Chris Brown song.
“The song’s done.” He listens for a second and smiles.
“Yea, I guess you’re right. Wanna go for another round?” You tsk at him, getting up and picking up your hoodie he tossed aside.
“No, a deal’s a deal. Go eat now.” He sighs, pouting while rolling over to his stomach and crossing his arms.
“Hmph, fine. But can you feed me?” Dragging the food over, you laugh.
“Sure, but that just means I’m eating most of this and giving you bits.” Staring each other down, you refuse to be the one to lose the contest. Luckily for you, he breaks and sits up, sticking his hand out. Ah-ha, You: 2 Him: 0.
“Hand me the chopsticks.” Grinning, you give him the utensils and open up the food again. You sigh happily as you notice the bulgogi isn't cold.
“Yes, it’s still warm. Ugh, I'm so glad or else we would’ve had problems. I remember the last time I got this from that same restaurant, it was cold and boy, did I raise hell. Anyways, dig in Gyeomie. ” You pick up the kimpap and put it in your mouth. Looking up, you finally notice him just watching, the biggest smile on his dopey face. You smile in confusion as you try to swallow the food down. “What?” He grins, shaking his head.
“Nothing, I just love you” he says before mumbling to himself, “this would've been the best time to propose if only the jewelry shop didn’t mess up the ring size.” You choke at that last part, startling him as you start to cough. Panicking, he grabs a water bottle and hands it to you. “Here, drink!”
Grabbing the bottle, you rush to open it and down some water, hoping it would help wash down the food but your mind was somewhere else. You could feel your cheeks burning as you began to calm down, his hands rubbing your back. You give him a thumbs up to let him know you’re okay as you grab his arm.
“What did you say? Ring size?” His eyes widen before laughing nervously, looking away quickly and scratching at the back of his head.
“What? I didn’t say that!” You shake your head, squeezing his arm to make him look at you.
“Yugyeom, are you planning to propose to me?” His opens his mouth then closes it, gaping like a fish for a bit. Just as you were gonna ask again, he bolts up, grabbing his stuff and picks up the other food container. He doesn’t make eye contact the whole time.
“Ha-what?! N-no. Hey, you know what?! I think we should eat this at home. Come on!” Walking out the door, you’re stunned as you stare after him. He was gonna propose to you? He wants to marry you? You feel your heart swell at the thought of marrying him before suddenly realizing he dodged the question. Gathering the rest of the food and your belongings, you rush out the door. He’s not getting away that easy!
“YAH! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!”
#ahhh my boyyy#my other mans#god i love this dork#i aint gonna lie#this idea came to me bc well yugyeom loves dancing but also bc I just wanna dance sexy with this man#WE'VE ALL SEEN WHAT THIS MAN CAN DO WITH HIS HIPS#MAKE A GIRL WANNA SINNNNN#like damn i'm ready#take me#so as you can see#he makes me a lil thirsty#JUST A LIL BIT#i wonder if yall read my tags#got7#got7 kim yugyeom#kim yugyeom#kim yugyeom rude#if someone ever tells me that this man is innocent is in denial and a liar
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How about „my hands are always cold ( that means u should hold them )“ but with newmanns :^)
YES...... also option to insert a horizontal line seems to have vanished from the ask box tools? ok. anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY HERMANN...have some more vaguely post-movie stuff
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“It’s, like, eighty degrees out,” Newt says. “How are you cold?”
Hermann grumbles something out that sounds like a cross between chiding Newt for daring to use Fahrenheit (America really rotted his brain) and explaining that his body runs cold, thank you, he’s not a damned furnace like Newt, and besides, they’re sitting in the shade, not in direct sunlight, which means it’s not really eighty degrees out, and then he tucks his hands under the armpits of his unstylish baggy t-shirt (stolen from Newt’s dresser and tucked into equally unstylish knee-length shorts) and pouts a bit before saying, perfectly audible, “I just am.”
“I did tell you to bring a sweater,” Newt says, because he saw this coming from a mile away. It happens any time they go out: Hermann refuses to bring an extra sweater, Hermann gets cold, Hermann complains for half the time that he’s cold. Newt shakes his head with a little tsk. Usually, Hermann’s the one who tsks at Newt, so Newt really appreciates the change in pace.
“A sweater wouldn’t have helped,” Hermann says. “’S not my arms that are cold.”
“Mittens, then,” Newt says, though he thinks, privately, the sight of someone wearing fucking mittens in June would set off mental alarm bells. Newt’s in short-shorts and a crop top and sweating enough as it is. “You should’ve brought mittens. Or gloves. What kind of ice cream did you want?”
“Vanilla,” Hermann says automatically. Newt stares long and hard at him; he fidgets, a moment, and then says (with a little upwards curl of his mouth) “Oh, go on, get me the sherbet.”
It’s rainbow-colored and a dollar more than the regular soft serve they sell here, but Newt knows how much Hermann likes it, and, as of late, he’s taken it upon himself to treat Hermann to things Hermann refuses to treat himself to. Extra-large packs of chalk with pinks and blues and greens. Two sushi rolls when they go out instead of just one. Slacks that aren’t straight from the clearance rack. Eventually Newt will be able to work him up to memory foam mattresses and massage parlors and week-long vacations, but, you know, no harm in starting small with sherbet. Besides. It’s Hermann’s birthday. He’s worth the extra dollar every day, but especially today.
“Attaboy,” Newt says, and--after wiggling out of the picnic bench--pecks a kiss to the top of Hermann’s oversized sunhat. Hermann blushes, even though there’s no way he could’ve possibly felt it.
Hermann is pleased to get his sherbet, and even more pleased to discover that Newt’s ordered him rainbow sprinkles on top too--for a guy who wears entirely shades of navy blue and grey, Hermann sure does like dumb brightly-colored things like sprinkles. He’s so pleased that he forgets to complain about his cold hands until he’s finished.
When he does finish, he does a lot of throat-clearing and tapping his plastic spoon conspicuously on the tabletop before Newt finally swallows down his last mouthful of his own chocolate soft serve and gives him his full attention again. “Yes?” Newt says.
Hermann glances down at his hands. He’s pressed his palms flat on the wooden tabletop.
Newt feigns innocence. “Something wrong?” he says.
“They’re still a bit cold, is all,” Hermann says. He clears his throat again. He taps both index fingers the same way he’d tapped his spoon. “Newton,” he says, only it’s almost a whine this time.
"You big baby,” Newt laughs, but he tosses the end of his ice cream cone to the grass and reaches across the table to lace his fingers together with Hermann’s. “Happy?” Hermann gives him a broad smile.
“Thank you,” he says.
“Dude,” Newt says, returning the smile, “you can just say when you want me to hold your hand.” Because this happens every time, too: Hermann gets cold, Hermann complains, Newt ends up giving him his leather jacket or slinging an arm around his waist or shoulder, or (if he really wants to make Hermann squirm) bringing his fingertips to his mouth and kissing them, one by one.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Hermann says.
#newmann#maria's fanfiction tag#been a while since i filled one of these prompts....we out here#Anonymous
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Deception Unraveling | Ch. 3: The Din’anshiral
From my Crestwood Solas POV fic. It’s short, but it’s finished, and writing it broke my heart. Apparently it’s Solavellan sobbing week according to @pikapeppa and @faerieavalon, so I thought I’d toss this nonsense out into the fold as well (grumble grumble).
Read here or on AO3.
The wind was enough to make even his heavy cloak billow. Summer was in full force and he found himself quickly sweating. He was ill-dressed for the weather and he quickly removed as much clothing as was prudent, leaving on only a thin vest. He was still warm, but the breeze was able to cool his skin without the extra barriers of his clothing. He smiled. He had not felt so free in a long time.
He walked along a great river, water rushing past the direction he found himself traveling. He paused by its bank, cupping his hands and reaching down to drink from the flowing stream. The water was cool against his parched lips. He repeated the movement, splashing more water against his face.
The reflection stared back at him, disheveled and distorted through the passing waters. His hair was a mess, hopelessly tangled and limp. He pulled it out of his braid, letting the long brown locks trail down his back. He removed what little clothing remained and submerged himself in the water, gasping at the chill. The stream clearly emerged from a nearby mountain, the temperature of its waters unaffected by the summer heat.
Weeks of sweat and grime came off in layers, darkening the water. He had hardly registered the sorry state of his skin until he was clean again, but now he was not sure how he had stood it for that long. He pulled his hair back again, fastening it into a tight braid to keep it from his eyes.
He was no longer sure where he was headed, letting his feet continue to carry the rest of him towards some unknown destination. The place did not seem to matter terribly. Only that he kept moving, inexorably, towards something. It felt right, walking the world on foot.
A deep feeling of contentment washed over him.
This is where I am meant to be.
He was not sure where precisely the thought came from; it came unbidden from a secret part of his spirit, showing him the way when he had thought he had lost it. And perhaps he had found something special here, at the edge of the world. The hills crested into gentle slopes, the grass beneath his feet was soft, and there was no lack of game.
One foot in front of the next, he passed, miles rolling by with the setting sun. He had not seen a soul until the sun was nearly peaking upwards past the horizon, a new morning beginning.
There she was. She stood atop a hill and he found himself being pulled towards her.
A long braid cascaded behind the woman’s back, her traveling dress blowing softly in the wind. Her hands clasped the reins of a gelding and a stallion, the former as pale as starlight and the latter its opposite. As he approached, he began to see single tendrils of hair had become loosened from her braid. Her back was towards him, looking out into the stretch of land before her. She held herself as though the entire world was hers to breathe in, not from arrogance, but from a proud sense of belonging. She was so distinctly of the world, but her beauty and sense of bearing kept her almost apart from it. It was simultaneously challenging and simple to believe that she had been created from this world—the place that was filled with both sorrow and overwhelming joy. He felt that she had carried both in her palm, but had decided she would embody something quite different from either.
“Vhenan”, he breathed.
As though she sensed his presence, she turned slowly to face him.
He gasped when he saw her face.
It was indeed his lover, in so many ways. The woman had her hair, her bearing, her nose, her slight figure. It was not unusual that he would have mistaken her for the woman he loved.
Her eyes though, were distinct. They were silver clouds, crisp and brilliant, encircling dark pupils. He had seen them so many times before, in his own reflection. She wore a thin circlet in her hair, held in place by silver pins. He knew this stranger, even if they had never met.
“Father, I have been searching for you for days. Why you choose to make the journey on foot as opposed to using our eluvian will never make sense to me.”
He remembered to close his mouth. He must have looked quite a fool before her.
This woman… It cannot be.
“Is everything quite alright, Father? I brought your stallion. We can finish the rest of the trip together, if you do not mind the company. Mother has already arrived, days ago, with her entourage.”
He was stunned, shaking his head.
“Father?”
He cleared his throat. “Um… Yes. I will go with you. Though I am not sure where we are going, if truth be told.”
She laughed. “Have you hit your head? I knew that I should have insisted you travel with a company. I know that you like the time to yourself, but…” She looked at him curiously. “You really have forgotten, haven’t you?”
He nodded. “Humor me. I haven’t been feeling myself lately.”
She took his hand, handing the reins to the midnight black stallion. “Here you go.” When he mounted, she continued. “We’re going into the city, of course. There’s to be a party… Something about you naming me as your heir in front of all of Elvhenan...” She laughed, freely, as though she had never known hurt.
He looked around, past the rolling hills, past the woman who looked like her and called him ‘father’. “The city… You don’t mean…?”
She laughed. “Mother is going to hear of this, you can mark my words. She’ll never let you out of her sight again. I had not thought you had grown senile in the few months we have been apart. We travel to Arlathan, of course. The entire household is already there. You’ll be the last to arrive, as usual.”
Arlathan… That means… It worked? But… if it worked, she could never be…
His vision blurred and suddenly he was standing on the floor of a great stone tower. He could see an eerie green glow off in the distance, blue lightning crackling across the sky. The woman was gone, as were the hills, the horses, and the sky.
The Fade. Of course it is. I could never have a life with her and my People restored both. One dream will always be the death of the other. And… we had a child in this make-believe world? I had not even known that a family was something I wanted. A legacy, one who would remember me for who I am as opposed to who I was made to be. It is too much to believe. But now that I know…
A woman stood before him, wearing his daughter’s face, but precious little else.
“Did I do well?” It cooed, voice as silky as warm chocolate.
“I do not need your interference, demon.”
The woman, the demon of desire, pouted. “Do you not? You’re absolutely brimming with want. Passion that only I have the power to fulfill. Did I pick the right one?”
He tutted. “Too unrealistic. You gave it away.”
She laughed. “Our desires do not need to be realistic. That is precisely why they are desires in the first place.” She looked him over. “Oh, perhaps I shouldn’t be wearing her face. Must look a bit strange to you.” The desire demon shimmered and she changed slightly to replace his daughter’s face with the Inquisitor’s.
“Is that better, love?”
He shook his head. “You know that I do not yearn for her any longer. It is done.”
The demon laughed. “You are an absolutely terrible liar, my sweet. You want her as you always have. You just tell yourself that you can’t have her. And what a sad little thing that longing has made you. I would help you. You could stay here with me. I can give you everything. I can give you her and your world both. You can have everything if you remain. The waking world will only hold ashes. Ashes, blood, and pain. You seek to walk the din’anshiral alone, my pet. You need not.”
He leaned on his staff, tired from this encounter already. “You would leave me with nothing when you were done.”
She chuckled, the laughter ringing softly against the masonry. “Perhaps that’s true, but you would keep me busy for quite some time before that.” She stood straighter, eyes meeting his. “But enough chatter. I will find what you desire, whether you approve or not.”
His vision began to swim again.
This time he was in a crystal palace, mirrors suspended in the air, chandeliers swaying gently in the wind. The air was pleasantly warm and the construction of the tower was such that natural light and air filtered through the rooms, giving its denizens access to the outside world while sheltering them from it.
Before him stood a great silver tree, branches extending so high he could barely make out their leaves. It seemed to reach the very clouds themselves. The trunk of the tree had been shaped in a throne, as imposing as the woman who sat among its branches, a living throne.
Lady Mythal sat resplendent in full armor, her long blonde hair cascading down her back in gentle curls. She was dressed for battle—indeed, she had anticipated it.
He did not need to see his reflection to know what it would hold. He was younger, but his vallaslin had been removed already. This was to be a coronation of sorts. His reward, or his curse.
The other seven evanuris stood behind the imposing figure of his former mistress. Elgar’nan, with his flaming sword and fiery eyes stood beside his wife, directly to her right. At the goddess’s left stood her favored daughter, Andruil. He was surprised to see the goddess of the hunt looking uncharacteristically pale and gaunt, her hand lay gently on her mother’s shoulder, as though to steady herself. Branching out from them were Mythal’s other daughter Sylaise, fair and gentle, and Sylaise’s husband June, built like a ram. On the other side of Elgar’nan stood Ghilan’nain, in riding leathers. The twins, Dirthamen and Falon’Din, stood behind their father, apart from the others and cloaked in darkness.
Mythal beckoned for him to approach her dais and he followed her command. There was no other option.
He stood upon a mosaic at her feet, depicting the creation of the world.
The evanuris may not have been the ones to make the world, but they would certainly take all the credit given to them.
His face was a mask as he approached his supposed gods.
It is for Mythal and her alone that I am here. The others… They cannot be trusted, even those who appear to be pleased by this situation.
“Kneel, Wolf,” the silver lady commanded.
He dropped into a deep bow before them, his head lowered and arm resting upon his knee.
“You have performed a great service for the People—descending into the realm of the Children of Stone and ripping their power straight from its roots. We owe you a great debt, each of us. Our cities would crumble at their insistence, and you alone stood to bring them to heel.”
He said nothing, and did not meet their eyes. It was not his place to speak at a gathering of his gods.
Elgar’nan spoke next, his voice like rolling thunder. “It is at my wife’s insistence that you be exalted into our ranks. Though I have my own suspicions, it is not the place to voice them here.”
Sylaise approached him, a golden circlet in her palms. She would have designed it herself, her husband smelting the ore to make the crown. Howling wolves would sit on either side of his forehead, reminding all of who he was. The evanuris placed the crown upon his head, kissing him gently right below where the circlet sat. The slender woman stepped back into her place between her sister and husband, gown swishing gently against the floor.
“Arise, Fen’Harel, and leave your old self behind. What you were no longer exists, replaced by what it is you will become.” Mythal’s words were like the ocean, battering against the coast. He found himself suppressing a shiver as he stood before them.
“May you find peace along the path, Wolf.”
She had not dismissed the other gods before Falon’Din and Dirthamen had already turned to leave. Their action would be seen as an affront and he was sure Mythal would have noted it. Her sons had come, but they did not agree with her decision. He had known that his ascension would have detractors. The evanuris did not like to share power.
He turned to see another figure had taken their place towards the back of the room.
It was a smiling woman, one he could hardly place.
Then he remembered, suddenly.
Vhenan… I do not belong here. Not any longer.
The image shimmered and he was back in the tower again.
“That was not so much a desire, as it was a memory. An interesting choice for you to recreate.”
The woman nodded, smiling. “You wished that it had turned out a different way—that you had walked away from that meeting. That you had left whole, as opposed to leaving as a pawn for those who were supposed to be your equals.”
He sighed. “I carry a great many regrets, but I could not have saved my People had I not stood among the evanuris.”
The woman who held his lover’s face smirked. “Oh, and you still believe you saved the People? I still think that has yet to be seen. You wish to save them. You wish a great many things. That does not make it so in your world that is so resistant to change. Stay here with me and you can be anything you wish. I will show you.”
He saw himself in front of a great mirror on an island floating in the sky. Before him stood the Inquisitor among a sea of unmoving Qunari. She moved towards him quickly and he turned away from her as she approached.
“Solas!”
He turned back towards her, his breath catching in his throat. “So, you’ve found me at last, vhenan. I suspect you have questions.”
She was furious, looking about her with her sword brandished towards him. “Speak, and perhaps I will listen.”
He nodded. “As you wish. What would you wish to know?”
She grimaced. “Do not toy with me. I would have the truth from you. Tell me of how you betrayed me, betrayed the People. I know who you are, Fen’Harel.” She spat the last word towards him and he found himself involuntarily stepping backwards.
“You already have the truth then, do you not?” He found himself saying. He wanted to run to her, to hold her, to prostrate himself before her. Instead he did none of those things.
“Did you ever truly love me, or was that just another of your lies? God of betrayal, deception. I should have known.”
He balked. “Vhenan…”
She shuddered, tears beginning to slide down her cheeks. She was mourning, even through her anger. “Do not presume to call me that, Solas. Not when you have given me nothing but falsehoods. I am dying. Speak quickly so that I may leave this world in peace.”
“I did not lie to you when I confessed my affections. That was no act, even if you do not care to believe it. And now you must understand why it could not continue. Not if this were to be the outcome.”
She laughed. “Did you not think I would understand? Am I not enough of a person to even be given that choice?”
He shook his head. “No, that is not why I could not tell you. And you are a person to me. You have been for a very long time. That was why…”
She frowned. “Then why would you still destroy it all?”
“This world was a mistake that I need to undo.”
“You cannot always keep running from your problems, Solas. We will find you, eventually.”
“I know. But I must try even so.”
“I loved you too. I love you still. That is why I cannot let you do this. I came to stop you.”
He shook his head, smiling. “You know that there is only one thing that will stop me, vhenan. And you do not have the strength to do it. Your emotions will get in the way.”
She laughed, drawing her blade. “That is precisely the reason why I am the only person who can finish this, Solas.” At that moment, the anchor in her hand flared, turning the sky a bright green. In a moment of distraction, she had crossed the short distance between them. She was a hair’s breadth away from him before she grabbed his arm, pulling him into a kiss.
He felt her blade slide through his stomach, the steel passing through him like he was made of silk. He did not stop it—had no more desire to. Blood rose up through his throat like bile, dripping from his mouth. He made a sign with his hand and her anchor flared again.
“You knew that coming here was suicide, did you not, vhenan? I can kill you just as easily as you can kill me. Easier, even.”
“I should hope so. I came to die here with you. You’re a damned fool. I love you, but you have no idea what you would do.”
“It is foolish to think this could end any other way, vhenan. That we could avoid killing each other like this. A kind fantasy to indulge in, but not one that meets with reality.” He kissed her, leaving a trail of his blood against her lips. “For what little it is worth, I am glad it was you.”
He felt himself slumping in her arms. Her anchor was dissolving her slowly—she would not have more than a few minutes left in this world. And neither would he, if he judged his own situation correctly. He had failed her, failed the People, and lost them both.
Fitting.
He could barely keep his eyes open. She was stroking his head with her one remaining hand, the right half of her body nearly gone.
“You are a rare and marvelous spirit. In another world…”
She smiled at him, despite everything, kissing his forehead. “Why not this one?”
“I can’t.”
Her voice grew faint as she continued to fade away. “Remember, you had a choice. You chose incorrectly.”
“I am sorry, vhenan. For everything.”
Her last words were a whisper in the breeze, so soft that he was not sure if they were real or not. “I know.”
The last of her body disintegrated and he was left there, in his island hovering amongst the clouds, utterly alone, blood slowly pooling from his weak body.
The vision shimmered again, and Solas found himself facing the demon of desire. His body was whole, not bleeding out on the ground. He brushed himself off, looking at her.
“Oooooh, you do love your little pains, my sweet. That was absolutely delicious.” The demon was licking her lips, staring at him.
He frowned. “Are you going to permit me to leave?”
She laughed. “And why would I do that?”
“We’ll just spend all of eternity here reliving the same scenarios if you never allow me to leave from this place. If I can go back into the world, then I can return here with new material. And you can help me, again. You know my true desire. To see this through to the end. And once I am done, I will return to you. Be so kind as to grant me what I wish.”
Her lips pursed, considering. “Hmm… That’s an interesting proposition. Usually people just threaten to kill me and then I have to end them. Very sad. I like you more than most.”
He laughed. “You may be the first to say that.”
She nodded. “You’ve intrigued me. I have decided, against my better judgement, to permit you to leave for now. I would like to see how the story ends.”
He sighed. “As would I.”
The demon extended her hand. “Once you find out, you’ll need to return to let me know. Do you promise?”
He nodded. “Yes. I will return. Though not forever.”
The demon frowned. “Damn. Well, it was worth trying. Even so. Goodbye, little mageling. I hope you find what you are looking for. Or maybe not! Then perhaps you’ll come back to me willingly.”
Solas opened his eyes. His head had been resting against his desk in the rotunda. He heard footsteps behind him and he stood quickly.
It was her.
“Solas…”
Vhenan, he wanted to call. He wanted to run to her, to pull her into his arms and apologize for everything. To stop the lie and to give himself fully to her. He wanted their future, their child, their life together. He wanted her more than he had wanted anything else in his life.
But that way brings only pain. For her and I both. And that I cannot abide.
He pushed aside his emotions, sliding back into the mask, pretending like she was not the one his soul called out for.
“Inquisitor. How may I be of service?”
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for the f anon. do you have a time line when camren broke up and then made up again? have you got any information on what really happened to camila in 2015/16? did she have a mental brake down? did her anxiety ocd take over? like we know it was bad because her mom was with her everywhere. and she had to be separated from ot4. but privately surely the girls especially lauren and dinah was there for her? how many times was she in hospital. because after every visit the side effects are visible.
I know I took ages to answer this, anon but here’s F answer: (Long ass post coming)
Hello, dear Anon.
I’m gonna answer your questions in order.
1) 2012-2016. This is the timeline that I’m gonna explain just because so you can go check based on the concerts, interviews, etc. Compared to the first years, the timeline from 2017 to today is much simpler because they’ve broken up very few times. This one here that I’m gonna explain (2012-2016), is based on what I know and also my theories. You can, as usual, disagree with me.
In January 2017, Camila talked about the evolution of her music during Lena Dunham’s Women of the Hour podcast, by explaining how she created her life story through the songs she wrote. Starting precisely from the age of 15, when she had her first kiss. She practically and inadvertently exposed the lie she has always been forced to tell regarding the famous first kiss she had when she was ‘17’. [The entire podcast has been removed, unfortunately. But you can go listen to the audio posted by 5HxCC News on Youtube, called ‘CAMILA CABELLO TALK FIRST KISS ON PODCAST’.]
According to the calculations, the kiss must have occurred between December 20, 2012, that is when X-Factor ended, and January 17, 2013, that is when they signed the contract with Syco/Epic in Los Angeles. My guess? It happened that same New Year’s Eve when the Cabellos spent it over at the Jaureguis.
Throughout 2013 until the beginning of April 2014, L and C had a strange relationship. They were friends, but they behaved and did things you wouldn’t do with a friend. Doesn’t that ring a bell? Oh, hello ‘Like Friends Do’!
2014: Become official in early April and broke up in late November. Small parenthesis. They were both 17 years old in April 2014. Oh, hello to you too ‘Used to This’!
2015: From the end of December 2014/the very first days of January 2015, to the beginning of April. From mid-July to mid-October. From the beginning of November to almost mid-December, they did a continuous on-again, off-again that lasted throughout 2016.
2016: from almost mid-January to mid-February. From early March to early April. From mid-May to early June. This makes me laugh. Only the first few days of August, then from mid-August to the end of August, and again, in hops the first days of September, and from after those hops, until almost the end of September. From early October to almost mid-October (broke up only for a few days), and then until mid-November. And lastly, only a few days in mid-December.
2) Camila suffers from one of the variants of OCD since she was 8, and despite seeing a therapist since 2013, her OCD was diagnosed at the end of 2015. C also suffers from anxiety, panic attacks, mood disorders, and depression (all linked to her OCD). These are things that we’ve been able to witness with our own eyes on more than one occasion. She’s always tried to bottle everything up and not show herself 'weak’ in front of people, in front of us fans. The last thing she wanted was to let people know how much she was really struggling, and therefore, she always tried to disguise it as best she could. Many times, even using her humor as a shield. Picture certain events like a time bomb. Picture her depression as a progression ready to explode:
March 2015, mild. October, November, December 2015, and January 2016, medium. From June to August 2016, high, + explosion in early September, which consequently led to the permanent presence of mama Sinu.
Everything has been derived and therefore worsened by: 1) The rhythms that have always been crazy. 2) Having to deal with many people every day. 3) Having grown up in the spotlight and being constantly observed. 4) Labels that told them what to do (through management) even when they just had to breathe. 5) The expectations and the pressure they’d put on her for being chosen as the chosen one. 6) Having her relationship secretly because they’d rather pass her off as a killer rather than queer/bisexual/gay or in any case associate her romantically with a girl. 7) All the hatred constantly received.
And the list goes on… Anxiety consumed her life for a long time. Now comes and goes.
3) Yes, of course Laurinah were there for her. As were Ashlee, Normani, Ally, Hoko, Michel'Le, Lauren (Fuller), Roger, and a few other crew members who were with them on the tour. As were her family, Jenny, Sandra, Marielle, Mariana, Brooke, Megan, Tica, Rebecca, Guido, Steven, Javi, and her other Miami friends.
Guys, Camila is a private person. The fact that she’s private, however, doesn’t mean that at the time or now, she doesn’t have other friends. It wasn’t just Lauren, Dinah, and Ashlee. And as for 5H, of course Mani and Ally were there for her too, contrary to what they want us to believe. Just think about it. And don’t think that only Dinah was their captain. Who was the one who went to Taylor’s ‘1989 Tour’ concert with Camila? Who was the one who went with them to the famous 1975 concert in Los Angeles on April 16, 2014? Who was the one who tried to protect them from the paparazzi in London in 2015? And instead, who was the one who always helped them lie during interviews? Who was the one who could never manage to control her expressions at first glance in questions that caught them off guard?
Ally and Mani were captains as much as Dinah. There are billions of interviews that prove it. In their own way, they always helped and teased them. Think of the video where Ally fakes a laugh as Lauren loudly slaps C’s ass, who screams “Lauren!” Think about the performances of specific songs. One, for example, is ‘They Don’t Know About Us’, and Norminah always teased them especially during that song. Think about when fans asked Ally if Camren was real and she ran away, laughing and not answering. Think of Mani during the ‘BOSS or TOSS’ game. There are millions of other examples.
4) 3 times. But, as we saw with Dinah in that 2017 video, they may have given her intravenous therapies when she needed it. It’s common, especially for overworked artists.
Oh and, guys. I saw that the audio of the uncut interview with Hitz FM station that the girls did in Malaysia on July 6, 2016, which was released on August 5, has returned to spread. I don’t know why it’s back to spreading now since I heard it already, if I’m not mistaken, in 2017, and saved it a couple of years ago. But anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, I saw that they wrote what Camila says, and it’s wrong. Listen to the audio even at full volume if you want, but C doesn’t say ‘False’. This is what happens:
I (Interviewer): “This one an interesting one. Are Camila and Lauren dating?”
L: “No”
C: “Ugh, Jesus Christ”
I: “Yeah, I know” at the same time as what he says, C laughs awkwardly as a result of her comment “It comes down on Google 'cause people are googling it!”
L: “No! It’s amazing how people continue to do that”
I don’t know if whoever wrote that heard wrong or what. If it’s one of those “which name do you hear, Yanny or Laurel?” cases, you know? But I just wanted to point this out to you. That’s all.
Okay. Love u, guys. Stay safe, please. With love, Faby.
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