#so yay :) be free my beautiful post

[fallenspirit]

my heart is so ridiculously happy right now, oh my god 🥰 this is too fucking adorable!! so happy for these two beautiful people 🖤

[afterglowsainz]

bye | charles leclerc, alexandra saint mleux

pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader x alexandra saint mleux, reader x ex!max verstappen

summary: when max breaks up with you, you find solace in his childhood rival and his stunning girlfriend

fc: taylor swift

request: here

a/n: guys i’m not even a charles girlie but he looked so happy in that podium i wanted to cry

—

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, francisca.cgomes and others

yourusername always the biggest pleasure, paris🤎

view all comments

username she’s unreal

username forever obsessed with this tour

username watching the video i record of vigilante shit over and over

username max verstappen can you fight??? 🤨

username the most magical night fr

alexandrasaintmleux 💗

charles_leclerc ☺️

username max not even liking this but charles and alex …

username they’re hilarious 😭

liked by redbullracing, charles_leclerc and others

maxverstappen1 free practice was okay, now we can focus on quali and the race

view all comments

username no but max being furious and still finding a way to post charles 😭

username no power on earth can separate those two

username can’t believe we’re watching the fall of red bull in real time

username FREE MY MAN FROM THAT TRACTOR

username time for me to suggest y/n going to the grand prix and bring max good luck 😁

username frfr she hasn’t been in forever

username lestappen is alive and breathing i see

liked by ynupdates, f1gossip and others

f1wags y/n y/l/n on saturday and sunday at the paddock for quali and the grand prix

view all comments

username glad to see she’s still alive 😭

username omg i thought she wasn’t gonna go with the tour and everything

username the best wag everrr

username so iconic

username OMG SHE SAW THE COMMENTS

username y/n in the paddock means a good race for max i know it 🧿

username the way i had completely forgot she was dating max 😭

username those two don’t interact with each other anymore i swear 😩

liked by f1wags, ynupdates and others

f1gossip max verstappen and girlfriend y/n y/l/n were seen fighting outside their hotel after the grand prix, y/n later walked away and left max alone

view all comments

username damn

username right after we thought everything was okay 😔

username no because the first gp my girl goes to after forever and they fight?

username idc what happened i’m blaming max

username lol agree

username guys be honest do you think they’re breaking up???

username my heart says no but my head says they haven’t been seen together for a while and when they do they always fight so…

username yes

liked by charles_leclerc, gracieabrams and others

yourusername fresh out the slammer … into the studio

view all comments

username HUH?

username miss girl ??? explain

username new music yay!

username is the caption a lyric or something ??? WDYM FRESH OUT THE SLAMMER

alexandrasaintmleux sooo excited! 💕

yourusername 💞💞💞

username alex what do you know

username is this like a happy song or is it going to make me hate men?

username no because i need to know too 😩

liked by yourusername, flavy.barla and others

alexandrasaintmleux with a full heart ❤️

view all comments

username i love their friendship

username guys charles made it to the feed!

yourusername pretty gorgeous beautiful everything

alexandrasaintmleux 🤭

username no but y/n in the last slide took me out 😭

username SAME i thought this was a charles post

charles_leclerc favorite girls❤️

alexandrasaintmleux 💘

username “girls” ????

username explain !!?

username is this a safe space to say what i’m thinking? …

alexandrasaintmleux’s instagram stories

[caption 1: 🍝] [caption 2: 💘]

liked by f1wags, pierregasly and others

ynupdates charles leclerc, alexandra saint mleux, kika gomes and pierre gasly at tonight’s show of y/n’s tour in milan

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username i love their friendship they’re so supportive of her🥰

username now THAT is an outfit

username alexandra the fashion icon that you are

username this is such a green flag for all of them

username friends who support y/n >>>>

username notice how max has been quiet since y/n won charles in the divorce

username i know that man is FUMING

username no but seriously i’m glad she still has supportive friends after the break up 😔

username was i the only one who noticed that she kept looking at the vip tent while singing the love/crushing songs? 🤭

username which could mean nothing!

username WHAT WERE THE SURPRISE SONGS

username invisible string and sweet nothing!

username :0

liked by ynupdates, f1gossip and others

f1wags alexandra saint mleux and y/n y/l/n today at the paddock, y/n used to date max verstappen but recently broke up and was seen today at the ferrari hospitality with alexandra and charles, with whom she stayed friends

view all comments

username 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️

username they both look so hot

username and if i say power couple then what 🤨

username i’d say alexandra has a boyfriend and you’re delusional 😭

username messyyyy

username the amount of money i would pay to know what’s going through max’s brain

username imagine losing THE y/n y/l/n and not only that but your rival since you’re four years old stayed friends with her

username he lost the break up

username we got y/n at the ferrari garage before gta 6

yourusername’s instagram stories

[caption 1: alexandrasaintmleux 🫶🏽🫶🏽] [caption 2: 🍸]

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55 and others

charles_leclerc mes trois coeurs❤️

tagged yourusername and alexandrasaintmleux

view all comments

username DAMN

username what do you mean your three hearts? wydm!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN

username honestly it makes so much more sense that they’re all dating 😭

username CONFIRMATION AT LAST

username the most drop dead gorgeous woman you’ll find and the cutest puppy on earth 🥰

username charles really won in life 😩

username and they called me crazy for even suggesting this 🙄

username POWER THROUPLE

scuderiaferrari the family as god intended🫶🏽

username ferrari 😭

yourusername gotta learn french asap!

alexandrasaintmleux we’ll teach you love💗

charles_leclerc de cette façon nous pouvons te dire que nous t'aimons dans toutes les langues chérie ❤️ (this way we can tell you we love you in every language dear)

yourusername ily both too much💘

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc and others

yourusername monaco! you are one of the best crowds ever ❤️ i had too much fun singing from the top of my lungs with all of you and performing for the first time ever my two new singles, “fresh out the slammer” and “bye” 😽 i have the feeling we’ll see each other wayyy more often

view all comments

username STOP she’s so cute 😭

username i’m afraid “bye” is one of the best songs ever made and “fresh out the slammer” changed the trajectory of my life

username “boy bye it’s over its over oh yeah” GIRL-

username she had too much fun writing that one

username “didn’t think you’d lose me now it’s just too late to choose me” UHM

username if that song is not for max-

username RED DRESS FOR FERRARI IKTS

username “now pretty baby i’m running back home to you” the fact that she calls them home i- 🥺

username “another summer taking cover, he don’t understand me” i gasped

username y/n calling her relationship with max literal prision was not in my bingo card

charles_leclerc you’re incredibly mesmerizing love 😍 best concert ever!

alexandrasaintmleux the prettiest and most talented there is! 💗

yourusername je vous aime tous les deux❤️ (i love you both)

[enteroctopusdarkysilis]

✨More Clones Brickheadz !✨

Since I acquired the Small Cody (40675), I found that there was an untapped mine. Why would they only make one ? Well. I don't have an answer to that, but I decided to take matters into my own one; so behold : 11 more. I went mostly for commanders here, but then I went a bit astray and so I added some captains to the mix.

In order, row by row :

Tukk (Not cannon but the colours are so beautiful)/Vaungh (died too soon-)/Rex (obviously)/Fordo (I did Rex, so I had to)

Gree/Doom/Thorn/Neyo

Bly/Cody/Fox/Wolffe

It was a really fun project, and I hope to do more of them in the future - maybe even phase 1s, some day~); supposedly not commanders because I did most of them (except Bacara, I know...The helmet was too tough).

And because I really like challenges, if you want to see another clone turned into one of these (Be it cannon or one of your ocs) feel free to send requests in my aksbox !)

Anyway this post is already far too long for anyone's dashboard, so closeups and details will be under the cut !

Let's start with the easy ones : Cody, Doom, Fox, Thorn

Obviously, Cody was easy, I just rebuilt the original one virtually - Nothing too hard. The printed pieces here are not the right ones, because Cody's are not available on STUDio yet, but the storm trooper ones were relatively similar, so I used these for most of these models. Of course, it means I'm lacking the sun bands, and a few other distinctive elements, but it works well enough for now.

Now, Doom is essentially a colour variation (minus a few antennas). I also used an old space piece, which has this big yellow arrow printed on it. I's not exactly what Doom has, but I feel like it's close enough for a first attempt.

Then, Fox is relatively similar to Doom, but with two DC-17s. I also moved the printed torso brick up to get that red line he has.

Thorn works in a similar way to Cody too, except I removed both accessories on the side of the helmet. I also added this tile with diagonal lines to figure the wings he has. One day I'll slap some real wings on there, but I haven't found the right image yet. I also gave him a Z-6, obviously. I really like it, so I might actually make that one physically, because the way it's build (with old binocular pieces) is pretty nice; although I doubt the pieces are available in black.

Moving on to two captains : Vaughn and Tukk !

Admittedly, not really that different either, except for one thing : I learnt to do custom prints now ! Yay ! Well, these are really basic : the blue line for Vaughn, and some trapezoids for Tukk's helmet (which are, indeed, not visible here - shame, I spent so long making these fit). The Ahsoka pattern was already in STUDio (because Ahsoka already has her own brickheadz, which I'll get my hands on someday~)

I must also add that having some cyan in this whole thing added some much needed colours in here, I'm grateful some people give their clones amazing colours (If somehow someone doesn't know who Tukk is, well just check High Ground Animation. Right now. It's really cool, trust me). Anyway.

As for design changes, I modified the faces slightly by adding 1x1 tiles, to allow for different colours variations on the face. It makes them look slightly blockier, but given the overall size of the head, it doesn't do much.

I also gave Vaughn a DC-15A. It's a bit messy, but it works out well enough. Past me forgot to render it, so here is a raw, in-software picture of it (from Fordo(s hand, but it's the same design for both) :

BARC helmets ? Wolffe, Fordo, Neyo

As I've been told, these look a bit wonky, and I'll admit its wasn't exactly easy, but in my defence, it's relatively hard to get such round shapes with bricks (lego cheated by adding the visor). Anyway, given that doing that with a printed piece was out of the question, I tried to replicate the filter's shape with actual bricks, and I used a printed piece which, technically, is Lando's moustache, but downward. I'd say it does the job relatively well.

I also added a rangefinder to Wolffe, which is a little big compared to everyone else's antennas, but It's still relatively to scale with the head itself. No custom prints for him (not sure where I would find the correct pattern images ?), but I've done it for Fordo and Neyo. Fordo obviously has his well deserved Jaig eyes (and who knew it would be that difficult to find a picture of that on internet ?), and Neyo has his symbol on the helmet, chest plate, and the shoulder not shown here.

The really tinkered ones : Gree, Bly, Rex :

Here, it was a matter of trials and errors to figure out just how to get the shapes right.

I actually started with Bly, by removing the previous visor and adding the macrobinoculars first, then I tried to shape the helmet around. Truth is, it doesn't make sense technically : the two separated parts of the helmet do not connected at all, if you remove the equipment. Luckily, no one has to know that.

Next is Gree. It took me some time to figure out how to properly get a round feel, but I feel like it's as good as I can make it like this. Colour-wise, it was surprisingly difficult to find how to balance the different shades of green, and equally hard was to figure out which silvery colour would render well in STUDio. The answer lied, as it always does, in Bionicle. Of course, none of these pieces exist in this colour, but it's not really my main problem (because none of the coloured printed pieces exist either).

Finally, Rex...He gave me some trouble, I have to admit. Firstly, the part-designing software decided to have some trouble with custom prints, which was problematic, because I simply couldn't do Rex without jaig eyes (and Fordo already had his). Then, I started with Gree's base and tried to go from there to fit Rex's custom helmet. I ended up using Boba Fett's printed visor piece for Rex, because these were all triangles. I also got rid of the printed chest piece and used some black plates to simulate the pouch he has; while also adding a a few more custom printed pieces for the arms and pauldron (barely visible, but they're here. I'm not entirely happy with it, but I don't see much other solutions than more and more custom prints, which isn't my goal, so it'll stay like that for now.

Anyway, that's way too much rambling for one post, so I'll just end by saying that next week I'll post an alt version of this whole build [here !], with some 'slight' colour alterations. Definitely nothing big.

[reashot]

Red VS. Blue

Bleiss: Hello everyone let me introduce you all to my leader and Ruby's counterpart/"evil twin" Bluby.

Ruby: *gasp* (She looks exactly like me) 😮

Blake: How many more versions of us are there?

Yang: Yay! I got two little sisters for me to hang out with.

Weiss: Oh no, there's two of them now...

Jaune: (She's beautiful...)

Bluby: *hides behind Bleiss* 😶‍🌫️

Bleiss: C'mon Bluby just introduce yourself to everyone.

Bluby: hi... 😶

Bleiss: *sigh* Well as you can see my dear leader is quite shy compared to Ruby.

Ruby: Oh, she's so cute! I mean I'm so cute. C'mon I'm not going to bite you. 😘

Bluby: Uh... *Hides behind Jaune* 😨

Jaune:

Yang: Oops. He, he. Looks like you have a competition with your clone Ruby.

Weiss: Oh great, not another one.

Blake: A love triangle... (Scandalous! I'm so gonna post this online)

Ruby: Very funny everyone, but everybody knows that a copy can't beat the original. 😤

Bleiss: Well I wouldn't be so sure about that. Remember that Bluby is your opposite in every way.

That means unlike you she is very demure, very mindful.

Ruby: Hey! I can be both demoor and mine things too. 😡

Bluby: wait... 😔

Bleiss: And unlike you she's not obsessed with weapons and is not on the no fly list.

Ruby: You smuggled in one hand grenade and for some reason you ended up on the terror watch list. I thought Vale supposed to be a free country!

Bluby: stop... 😢

Bleiss: And also unlike you she's not a homophobe.

*record scratch*

Jaune: Wait?

Weiss: What?

Blake: Ruby you're...

Yang: Do you want to explain yourself, oh sister of mine?

Ruby: W-wait you-you do not actually believe in what she just said right? I'm your sister for goodness sake. *Sweats*🥵

Yang: I don't know Rubes you're sweating a lot for someone that said she's not homophobic.

Ruby: Grrr... Fine I admit okay I think realtionship should be like Adam & eve. Not madam & eve! 😖

Bluby: No...🥺

Blake: Ah ha! I knew it. You're the only one that's not happy that I finally dated your sister.

Jaune: Ruby is a homophobe... No... But I thought you liked my sister Saphron and her family?

Ruby: Th-that's different she's your sister and I liked everything about you... No matter how wrong I think same sex relationship is.

Weiss: Girl, I think you should shut up before you dig yourself any further.

Ruby: Oh, that's rich coming from a racist! 🤬

Weiss: Hey! Don't drag me into this.

*starts bickering & arguing*

Bleiss: Oh, ho, ho. This day couldn't be any better. *Opens bag of chip*

Bluby: *starts crying* 😭

And any suggestions for the name of JaunexBluby ship?

Or if you have any other questions just leave your message here.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt II our flag means death but I've never watched it

HELLO OFMD FANDOM! It's the Good Omens Mascot and Resident Dumbass, back again for part II. First, let's clear the air of all controversy!

Some of you lovely maggots were kind enough to warn me about certain discourse about a salad spoon and also about a certain gentleman named Izzy. I was warned not to make assumptions and not to take sides, and I hear some members had to leave the fandom for a while because it got toxic. Maggots. All the rest of you. Worry not about me. I'm here to unite the OFMD fandom! How, you ask? By being so undeniably stupid in my own opinions that you all will have to unite to disagree with me. You underestimate the power of my dumbassery. Well, let's not dilly dally and dawdle, here's the updated summary:

I have been informed there is cannibalism on this ship but it is not real. Someone pretends to eat someone and then their wife helps them fake their death while they run away from the ship though their lover wanted them to run to China.

There are BDSM lesbians, which is honestly such a slay, Pinterest has let me down by not informing me of that when I made Part I. I will no longer be using Pinterest a reliable source in future academic essays.

Mermaid Stede performs necromancy while a song called Kate Bush plays (I don't know who this is, a politician? Idk whether of US or UK).

Gravy Basket is a destination and Buttons is a sea witch and there is educational stabbing. Buttons is then a bird because of the BDSM lesbians.

There is a lady who is extremely beautiful and intimidating and powerful and she has twenty husbands and I assumed incorrectly that you were all talking about a Jack Russel terrier.

Let's start with the controversy! Izzy. Secondary protagonist or antagonist? Good or bad? Kindly father figure or homoerotically charged friend? Necessary death or not? No no no. Behold:

I present a new question, a hot take sizzling from the pan: Did Izzy really exist?

Personally, I firmly believe that no, he did not. I believe that the rum on the ship was spiked with hallucinogens.

Izzy was simply the manifestation of Ed's Freudian subconscious, taking the shape of a human being, vaguely resembling a humanoid potato Ed was forced to boil as a kid. I was a psychology student with a final grade of 99% and I accept only destructive criticism on my posts thank you. Feel free to discuss whether he boiled the potato in a fit of rage or whether he was forced to.

There are assorted Ned's, Mary's and an uncertain number of Jeff's on ship.

One of the Jeff's is an accountant, and there is a nonbinary talking sword named Jim. Actually I'm not sure if they talk.

Love you all, rooting for the show to be renewed.

REMINDERS. Be polite to each other in the reblogs, on tumblr reblogs spread posts and not likes (which don't do anything for visibility) unlike other social media sites, but MOST IMPORTANTLY.

I ACCEPT ONLY DESTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, THIS BLOG IS A GODLESS, LAWLESS LAND, AND ALL RAGE AT EACH OTHER MUST BE REDIRECTED AT ME. UNDERSTOOD? YAY.

[spirker]

Oooh look it’s time for another

Fanfic Friday!

As always please tag ‘OFMD fanfic friday’ if you’d like to join - I mostly read Ed/Stede so that’s the focus of my recs - if you think my recs suck please feel free to make your own post :)

Theme this week is ✨unusual meet-cutes✨

I want to start with - The Philadelphia Chicken Man by @lookinglass-fic (10k words, M rated)

This is a very special fic in my opinion. It’s funny and heartfelt and perfectly in character. It’s about self love and self acceptance and eating a lot of rotisserie chicken. I love it very much.

Next we have Proper Hydration by the amazing @knotwerk ! (24k words, E rated)

This fic asks ‘what if they kissed at the IV boutique’ and the answer is fast burn deliciousness with some musings on the absurdity of life. Just beautiful. And it’s a series! Yay!

Another classic now it’s Skinned Knees by @skrifores (33k words, E rated)

Meet-cute at a glory hole anyone? It’s cute, I promise, very hole-some (sorry I couldn’t resist) A light smattering of angst along the way but ultimately a very feel good fic.

Last but not least, I wanted to highlight the work of one of the best writers in our fandom, my lovely friend Ida @bizarrelittlemew

It was too difficult to pick just one of her gorgeous fast burn meet-cutes so have 3 instead.

Wanna Share? (12k words, E rated) - Our boys meet in line for free condoms at a music festival! Perfect summer vibes and delicious tent sex.

Keep your ‘lectric eye on me babe (15k words, E rated) - 70s Glam Rock scene AU, Ed is a rock star and Stede is a beautifully slutty groupie. Seriously I love groupie!Stede so much, I’m obsessed with him.

The next adventure (3k words, E rated) - Ed and Stede meet when Stede takes a job as a fluffer on a porn shoot. It’s adorable, I promise. (Also check out the sequel if you like the idea of Ed/Stede/Roach having a good time together)

Ok yay! Enjoy <3

[divinit3a]

For the ask game 💕

💕 Time for a shout-out! What are some of your fav AUs from other creators in the fandom? ⭑ dca au ask game

^-^ ....OK! I shall set down all the cakes on the table for a full buffet! Get your forks & knives out! 🍽️🍽️🍽️

please don't hesitate to let me know if you'd prefer not to be @'d in the future, or to be removed from this post u_u <3 I totally respect folk's preferences!

✨ lets go! ⭑⭑⭑ ⭑⭑⭑ ⭑⭑⭑

@muzzlemouths Dead Mall Dare / DfTR AU(s) Dead Mall Dare was one of the first AUs I read (like, literally. 1-2 months ago!) & I went woooaaah they are fun removed from original context. Isn't that so neat ?? This isn't a rabbithole to fall in, tho. u_u No wayyy guys c'mon ... /j Likewise, DfTR is a treat to watch unfold & see people squirm ^-^

@r0b0-wannabe Botanical Garden AU (or just any of your stories, but I'm.. sticking to the law...s... ) Hi, I stayed up to 2-3am drawing ur boys bc Im normal about this AU & how endearing it is... obviously... (💚) I love your writing style & characterizations. Maybe this is silly, but, I also enjoy learning about plantcare, too :3

@sinister-sincerely 2nd Choice AU Oh, you are so evil. The username matches. (A COMPLIMENT!! Hehe.) Oh, you write drama, angst/no comfort, hurting/damaged characters making awful choices so well. It was wild doing a double-take to realize YOU! are the WRITER for 2nd choice!! Some day, I will get u. For now, run 💜🔪

@wyervan Human!Slasher AU :D Yay! Both the OG/Main storyline are wonderful. I find the community version very endearing as an AU-within-an-AU. (love that!) As someone who used to run RP groups (on god!) it fills my heart with joy to see people filling out a world with so much life. Your art style is delightfully grungy ^-^/

@pluck-heartstrings - Pluck My Heartstrings AU Ohhh. I am weak to fairytale/renfaire vibes, as well as the more classic harlequin jester aesthetic u_u<3 Plus, the Vocalist/Princess is just so dang compelling, too. Your design sense is impeccable.

@moon-buggg Haunted House & Mad Scientist AUs They are both so neat & I can't wait to learn more!! The Haunted House AU designs live in my head rent free along with the comics :3

@zenkaiankoku Broken but Better AU Lovely, torn-up designs! Yay, mechanical horror! Yay, angst!! And a delightful remix of their personalities, too <3

@authormeat Alienware AU ^-^ I am instantly delighted by the weird guy freak energy & that the yn IS an alien/monster. Thats all I want & more. I also love ur designs for other AUs

...

...

...... 🧍 I Have More to Say

And...And... Not.. AU specific, but 🏏💥BAM , BAM 💥🏏 LOVELY FOLKS!!!!!!

🍲 <{ @soupdweller THERE IS NO ESCAPE ok but fr.. I appreciate ya, homie :3 you are a joy to chat with!! beautiful art!! evil mind!! delicious soups. i cant wait for whatever u cook up ^-^ 🐤 <{ @luckyyyduckyyy I WILL READ UR AU STORIES!! RUN & HIDE!!! you are the goofiest goober in the wild west, by goodness. i love ur energy and the gorgeous designs u create!! 🐛 <{ @chickenchirps27 ACK I COULD STARE AT UR ART FOREVER! I'll have to start volleying over illustrators I think ya might enjoy... u are so sweet & funny!! 🐐 <{ @lurking-loaf YOU ARE SO KIND! Seriously, I appreciate the fun craft projects you recommended -& your words of support :') 🔮 <{ @anis-sketches :D HI! Happy to throw recs your way. Also, your art is adorable!! 🌿 <{ @craykaycee HI TO U TOO!! the tags u leave always make me smile, and i appreciate u stopping by to say hi... :3 & MANYMANY MORE BUT I NEED TO CUT MYSELF OFF OR ELSE

Per usual, I lost sight of the original goal. But! Consider:

🏏💥WHAM , BAM 💥🏏 GOTCHU >:)

[a-d-nox]

my experience, given my 9h, one year post uni graduation

so as many people know who have been here for awhile my 9h... its a bit much...

for a long time, i have seen people say that pluto and/or chiron in the 9h would mean that you would drop out of college or what have you.

i am living proof that its not always the case.

my experience was the chiron placement giving me anxiety - i hated that i wasn't as great as i had expected i would be. i hated being a psych major (i feel like i have a decent ability to listen and advise others, but it just didn't feel right after 3 years in the major). my department then was shaky because the psychobio/pharm side was questionable at best; maybe one or two people would pass the tests the rest would fail and then it would be curved. the teaching style didn't work and their were no other professors or tutors available to help (WHICH IS INSANE). so i was feeling hopeless and anxious... and depressed... i couldn't see myself passing a test at the end of the term let alone going on to help others if i couldn't understand (which i connected with grades - it didn't matter how many mind maps i made on a topic) the material.

we can skip the dark crap that i went through during that time too because we have already talked about it-

so i healed myself (chiron can be wounded, but he was healer first foremost) by changing my major (pluto is the change).

yay english major - the venus there is really "a doing (learning) what i love" signifier in my opinion.

all this conjuncts my mc, so yes - i got my degree, awards, and lots of people knew what i went through by the end of it because i wrote about it in the school newspaper.

BUT ON TO THE REAL REASON I AM WRITING THIS.

what happened when i stopped being in a learning environment?

it's been a year. to be honest, the 9h chiron feeling is crawling back in. i am sure everyone notices that my posts are more sporadic and just less in general. i am mentally exhausted - i work an 8-5p corporate office job (not in my field). it's hard to not feel uninspired by the end of my day. i feel like i am becoming stunted.

my brain was a sword and without school and constant/consistent learning (especially in areas i am interested in), i feel my sword is without a whetstone.

not to be a complainer (but yes to complain) corporate america squeezes out your motivation, your creativity, and your drive if you are there long enough and if you are in the wrong spot long enough. in my situation, i feel like i try to ask questions and make change and i get rejected? so more stunting.

i feel like people would disagree, but with a 9h like i have (or if you have any of these objects singularly), you have to keep learning. you have to be in the right environment that allows you to continue to expand your being. you have to read outside of work, get certification, take classes, maybe even get more degrees.

personally, i feel like i am not as intelligent as i was a year ago - i'm tired and uninspired. i am tried of fighting for something different where closed mindedness exists. i never felt more free then i was when i was in a classroom.

to wrap this up, it doesn't matter how scary the house looks (chiron, pluto, etc). it needs your attention. if anything, you need to nurture it more. just because you didn't have the best experiences in the area doesn't mean you should ignore it - your "wounds", the "darkest" areas in your life still need your care. wounds heal and without the darkness we wouldn't know the beauty of the light.

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[fulloftheloveyouwant]

Ghoul's first pets headcanons

Summary: The ghouls and ghoulettes all get their first pets after Copia allows animals in the abbey.

Warning: None! It's just fluff!

Length: 1.9k words

Note: First post yay! You know those pictures of Phantom holding the puppy? Yeah.. I got inspired.

Special thanks to my beloved wife Salem who proofread and helped me post this. @thewisemasterotaku 🫶

Despite Phantom having experience with dogs due to a few encounters here and there, he immediately asked for a pet bat. The others attempted to dissuade Phantom but he remained determined on getting a pet bat.. At least until he learned he couldn't replicate their care habits.

He ended up bouncing back and forth between a pigeon or a puppy, a pigeon was just the next best thing to a bat. At least to him. But, he ended up adopting a puppy. A mixed breed dog with a medium length coat that's a broken pattern of brown and white. He named the pup "Mr. Wiggleton." Or.. Wiggles for short.

As you could assume, the puppy was very wiggly.

Phantom spent almost every waking moment with his new companion, he ignored everyone else for about two weeks straight and then once he was over it he started to show off Wiggles to anyone who'd even look his way.

While he's inexperienced as a owner, he does his best and the others are willing to help him whenever something does happen. Wiggles goes everywhere with him as long as it's mostly socially acceptable. Yeah.. Mostly.

Mountain who was already familiar with a variety of animals (namely the wild ones around the abbey,) was overjoyed to find out he could get a pet. He chose quickly, much quicker than anyone else. "A rabbit. A continental giant if I'm to pick." He asked rather politely.

So, about a week later and there's now a massive rabbit roaming the greenhouse with Mountain basically hovering over her 24/7. He named her Marigold after watching her demolish his months-long project in the greenhouse, multiple plants decimated in record time.

He was actually pretty amused by it, applauding his little eating machine and treating her to some dandelions after noticing she liked the common flower. Besides, he was able to recover his greenhouse garden back to its previous beauty and redirect Marigold to eating a private garden he made for her.

Overall, while he's very protective of Marigold and hovers over her a lot he's actually pretty good about caring for her and making sure she has all the hay or treats a rabbit could ever need. Plus she gets to free roam when Mountain is out.. Hard to miss the massive brown rabbit hopping about.

Dewdrop wasn't a fan of the idea at all. "No. I'm not taking care of something." He flat out denied and denied, eventually the other ghouls left him alone about it because he refused to get any animal or even entertain the idea of one.

That only changed after Mountain found an injured lizard outside. Its body temperature was low and Mountain couldn't raise that himself leading him to find Dewdrop to help the injured lizard. "Please?" "This.. This is ridiculous but- Fine."

He took the lizard and would slowly heat up his body, watching as the lizard regained energy. Periodically Mountain would visit with the lizard again and again, it would be fed and full each time and Dewdrop would proclaim that he was glad it was gone again each time but he started to miss the small lizard whenever he wasn't with it..

Mountain deemed the lizard unsuitable for the wild and only then did Dewdrop step up to take care of it full-time after their two weeks of rehabilitation together. Him and Mountain set up an entire enclosure that was only slightly too big for the small lizard.

While he never named the lizard, Mountain liked to call the lizard "Little Dew" because Dewdrop would take the lizard everywhere with him. Dewdrop would ignore anyone who said he didn't want a pet a few weeks back, he can't let the lizard know his previous feelings.

Swiss was next in line to receive a pet, originally he had been pretty confident on getting a dog. He'd assumed their personalities would match well and the thought of playing catch for hours with a companion seemed vastly amusing, however Aurora mentioned ferrets loosely in conversation once and it was love at first sight.

They're silly, they bite, they wiggle, they're playful! Swiss became enamoured with the animals immediately, he spent hours searching up on the web of how to take care of them, their care requirements, general diet, everything.

He only bought one once he was absolutely certain he could take care of it. Plus by then half of his room was now dedicated to the ferret alone, toys, tunnels, bowls, a massive cage- It was perfect. But it was even better watching his ferret enjoy all of his hard work.

The first ferret he named Lemon, his second ferret was unexpected but when he saw a rehoming ad he couldn't resist going to go swoop up that ferret too! A lot of careful introducing later and he had two ferrets. Lemon and Lime.

They are his pride and joy, he plays with them for hours daily and lets them occasionally roam in the greenhouse whenever Mountain is out with Marigold. They climb on Mountain every time like he's a massive scratching post which Swiss laughs at repeatedly before retrieving them. Then they'll climb on him instead, perfect!

Aether was somewhat hesitant on getting a pet, not because he didn't like animals but rather he was worried that his love for the other ghouls would be affected if he had to share it with an animal. But.. The others managed to sweet-talk him into it, saying it wouldn't be a big deal.

So, Aether got exactly what he wanted. A bonded pair of guinea pigs. He'd liked guinea pigs ever since being summoned and enjoyed their cute little noises. He was the most meticulous about caring for his animals, being so detailed that the others had a hard time understanding what he was even doing sometimes.

He spent a lot of time with them and learned to balance it with his daily activities. The other ghouls were correct that it didn't change anything, but Aether was definitely much happier hearing them wheek every time he approached their enclosure to play and feed them.

They'd climb all over him and groom his hands or arms, plus whenever he wasn't in his room they'd be looking around just waiting for him to return. He always gave them treats whenever he returned, unable to resist their cute noises and squishy little faces.

He named the long furred pig Jekyll while he named the short furred one Hyde. He had read the book a few months back and enjoyed it heavily hence their names.

Rain wanted a pet but didn't know what. He'd befriended the schools of fish in their lake, he'd even helped Aether befriend a flock of ravens close to the abbey. But having an actual pet himself..? It seemed strange.

He could get fish! But then he'd feel bad for containing them in a tank and not letting them be free (even if they were domesticated) so he decided against fish. What about a turtle? While not a terrible idea, he wouldn't have the space to set up an enclosure for it. Snails, crabs, axolotls? No.. None felt right.

He spent a while moping about this actually, it frustrated him that nothing seemed like the perfect pet. He sat outside one of those nights while moping and heard the familiar croak of a frog.. Now, a frog? Maybe that was the perfect pet.

He did his research, he selected an Australian green tree frog because it's apparently fairly social and also more beginner friendly (he was terrified about accidentally killing his first pet.) Mountain and Aether both helped him set up the proper perimeters and adjust a tank weeks before he even got his first frog.

Once the frog arrived, he was scared to even interact with it besides feeding times. He didn't want to somehow kill it and this fear set a lot of barriers between the two. He at least named it- Ivy. It seemed fitting with his green colours and relatively calm demeanour.

Overtime, Rain warmed up more to handling Ivy and Ivy got used to Rain being a more constant presence. A few months down the line and the two were about as inseparable as they come. Rain was actually a perfectly okay pet owner but he still gets random pangs of anxiety when others try to handle Ivy.

He eventually ended up getting more frogs for Ivy to interact with, the other two being named Juniper and Sage respectively.

The idea of a pet came to Cumulus and Cirrus instantly. "Rats!" They both excitedly shouted once Copia finished his announcement, everyone else turned to stare at them. Truth is, they'd both discussed this beforehand and both of them wanted dumbo rats. Copia allowed it and the duo were setting up the night after.

They received their dumbo rats only a day after finishing their cage. They were both collectively excited about the rats, they were also the only two to name them after songs they've played. Cirrus named her male Miasma while Cumulus named her female Elizabeth.

They were easily the most in love with their pets, both of them constantly took them around everywhere and exposed them to everything. It wasn't an uncommon sight for them to scare someone by revealing their rats that were hiding in their sleeves..

Cirrus liked singing to Miasma and frequently dancing with him while in the comfort of her room while Cumulus took Elizabeth to practice frequently, practicing on keyboard with her little companion cheering her on.

Cirrus and Cumulus both immediately wanted mice afterwards but Copia decided that the rats were enough for them both currently.. They didn't need more animals being dragged to practice or being serenaded to.

The last one to get a pet was Aurora, she waited for a long time contemplating her many options. There were so many animals that could suit her personality! However the one she ended up falling for was cats. Pigeons were a very close second after her and Phantom had spent time months ago talking about them back when he was undecided on getting a pet.

She really liked the idea of having birds, but she ended up taking in the stray cat that lurked around the abbey. A pitch black cat that stalked them like a shadow, she adored the grumpy feline.

The cat had got injured one day for reasons unknown which is what made her take them in fully, the cat had already been nicknamed by others usually being "Misfortune" but she changed their name to "Lucky" instead to counteract the previous name.

The two were already bonded for the most part and after helping fix their leg up she finally was able to see he was a neutered male. He clung to her like she was his only heat source frequently and he was still allowed to roam the abbey but only inside of it now.

Aurora would take Lucky on walks frequently and even sunbathe with him outside or just carry him around. Lucky went from being a really grumpy stray to Aurora's most beloved possession, plus he was much nicer now! He'd still bite Swiss whenever he approached though..

Note: I own a rabbit myself so it only felt natural to give Mountain one too! :D although his is a giant and mine is a dwarf lol. But the whole tall ghoul big bunny vibes were immaculate to me. Plus he'd be so gentle with a rabbit! Ahh.. I could go on and on.

[thrashkink-coven]

*TW: Sexual content, Minors DNI*

A recording of an intimate experience I had with Lord Lucifer.

I’m just vibing by Lucifer and Aphrodite’s altar. My old deity candle for Lucifer was close to being burnt out so I did a little ritual to bless a new candle in front of my Aphrodite sculpture (yay!!! I’m still very excited about that)

And Lucifer was extremely active, which was really nice. I ended up writing a few grimoire pages with his help and it was a cool vibe. Then Lucifer’s presence absolutely overwhelms me and the entire space. He comes in a very breathy whisper and his energy is hot and smouldering rather than smooth and warm like usual. It’s intimidating. I almost wonder if I’ve done something wrong

Lucifer: I want to have you

Me: I’m here, my lord! ❤️ whatever you want!

Lucifer: no, I want to have you, all of you, it’s been too long since we last had each other. I want to remind you how dear you are to me

Me: 😳 (aaaa!!!!) what can I do for you?

Lucifer: There’s a pink toy you got recently that I haven’t blessed yet. Let me put my hands upon it so I may put my hands on you. Make the room completely dark except for the light of my candle. Abandon your dress. Pray for Aphrodite’s comfort while I dominate you. Say my enn and give yourself to me completely.

me, trying not to explode from excitement: Yes, my lord, of course

Lucifer: you are too good to me, sweet creature of mine. (!!!) Please relax and clear your mind, let all troubles escape you. You don’t need to think, I’ll take care of everything. If you must have a thought let it be of how wonderful you are.

He makes me look in the mirror as I honour him, bowing before my altar as an act of self worship. I look up and see his blazing eyes looking down on me, terrifyingly gorgeous. My body becomes a temple of flesh, a chalice to be filled with bliss. I can’t help but think of my partner, and he applauds me for this, reminding me of how sweetly Venus has blessed me.

*Deep into trance the vivid feeling of snakes slithering up my thighs and gentle light enveloping me is almost too much to take. Never have I been embraced so tenderly by him before. And the deep whispers of his breathless voice twinkle in my ears, soothing and encouraging me towards climax. “You are my dear devotee, I am forever close to you” Through every step he directs me and praises me, telling me how good I’m doing, how impressed he is and how much he appreciates me. “Look at how amazing you are. How have I been blessed with a devotee so wonderful?” I feel as if I am floating and falling at the same time, all the singing voices of the wind harmonize as his candle burns tall. He celebrates every curve of my body, and we both call out to Aphrodite.*

I sleep soundly for hours, feeling as though I am laying in a field of flowers, blanketed by his warmth and love. He caresses my hair softly, thanking me, until I awake just in time to watch the evening star rise into the sky. When my lover arrives home from work he seems even more beautiful than when he left this morning. Oh gods. I’m overwhelmed by how much I love him. And suddenly I feel beautiful too, and we cook dinner and relax on the balcony together as Hesperus rises. Later in the evening I show him everything Lucifer taught me and hopefully bestow him even a tenth of my bliss. I thank Venus for blessing me with such beautiful, marvellous things, and know that I am well deserving of them. I remember why I am his, and I revel in the fact.

Thank you Lord Lucifer, my love. I am beyond blessed to be with you.

These experiences don’t always come often but I am always fascinated by them whenever I’m lucky enough for them to occur.

aaaa ❤️💕♥️💗💖💞💓💜♥️💕💘

Hail Venus!!!! 💖 :))

update, (i haven’t even finished writing this post yet omg) I ordered a new collar for Lucifer on Aphrodisia after he requested one and I swear to gods I just got a cheque in the mail for the exact amount I paid for it. So I basically just got it for free! AND my bf got me chocolate chip cookies for dessert 😭 I am definitely being baby girled)

[rhombicubobjectblog]

some assorted angels i thought were very beautiful.

the program is poly 1.12! i highly recomend for polyhedra viewing. its super cool and has so many!!! you can choose the color of the faces as well. you can get it for free at peda.com (pedagoguery software).

incase the text is too small the shapes in order are:

6-frequency icosahedral geodesic hemishere

6-frequency octahedral geodesic sphere

6-frequency icosahedral geodesic sphere

also yay my first post on this blog!!! :]

[ugh-yoongi]

HOBI REQUESTS YAY! okay so at first i was thinking it might be hobi's birthday and he stays late at the studio regardless of the day and comes home to reader all tired and drained, but then reader has such a sweet surprise for him when he gets there (whether it be a cake, flowers, balloons, etc.) and it just seems like he can breathe again without the weight of his work on his chest, even if it's just for that night, he can fall asleep with no problem.

OR, considering it's in the name of jess' birthday, it could be reversed? reader's birthday and hobi has the sweet surprise instead? i don't have an idea of what specifically would be demanding so much of reader's attention, but coming home to hobi with his pretty smile on such a day seems like something so beautiful.

that's all i could muster up as of now, 🙃 if you chose to, feel free to play around with it until it's something you are comfortable with! <3

thank you so much for the request! i went with the first one and i hope you enjoy it! <3

(side note: i banged this out in one sitting so i'm tentatively optimistic that my writer's block is cured. we'll see. thank you all for your patience and not showing up in my ask box with pitchforks.)

ataraxia

pairing: hoseok x reader genre: est. relationship au; fluff, a tiny bit of angst warnings: hobi's kind of going through it so there are allusions to poor mental health, otherwise this is mostly fluff. just being there for your person when they're having a tough time. no gendered pronouns used. unedited. rating: e for everyone wordcount: 1k listen to: novo amor - anchor

Hoseok had heard once that babies born in the winter are stronger.

Something about mothers being able to absorb more vitamin D during the summer months.

As he collapses onto the floor of his studio, sweat and exhaustion blurring his vision, he thinks those people are full of shit. What has being born in winter gotten him besides muscle cramps and seasonal depression? Because he’s also at a higher risk for that, which those people lauding his athleticism tend to leave off of the discussion.

He sighs. He’s twenty-nine now, and there’s something truly haunting about the inevitability of time. Can’t slow it down, can’t make it go faster; he just has to sit here and take it. Next year he’ll be thirty, thirty-one the year after that, and on and on it’ll go for the rest of his life.

All he has are these little joys: the squeak of his new sneakers on the studio floor, the kids in his class finally nailing their routine, those peach iced teas he likes being buy one get one free this week at the convenience store next door. He has you, too, but you were smart and traded in your two-cent dreams for the corporate world and now you’re spending his birthday on a business trip to Singapore.

Yoongi would call him an asshole for that, probably. He has friends. Friends who want to see him, buy him a drink and give him gifts, and he appreciates the effort, he does, he’s just… tired. Fatigue has seeped into all of his bones and left him nothing more than a husk of a person. It’s been months of this same unending grind, and he’s running out of self to give.

At least Singapore is warm this time of year. In Seoul, beyond the frosted windows of his studio, there’s nothing but gray-brown slush and a patch of black ice he can’t melt no matter how much he salts it.

“Fuck this,” he mutters.

It’s nearing nine o’clock. He needs to get home; needs to eat something and drag himself into a hot shower before he crawls into bed and spends the entire weekend there. Needs to reply to all the texts on his phone wishing him a happy birthday. Needs to tactfully and politely turn down all the invitations. Needs to post some bubbly, colorful message on social media thanking everyone for the well-wishes and attach a photo from a few weeks ago because he hasn’t been smiling much lately.

First, though, he needs to get off the floor.

He usually likes his walk home. Likes pressing his face to the glass to look at all the window displays when he’s not in the mood to shop. Likes seeing other people go about their days, live their lives. Likes looking at all the ways the city reflects sunlight and fades to husky gold. Likes walking under the cherry blossoms in the spring; likes it even more when a few petals stick to his shoulders and you laugh and brush them off as soon as he comes through the door.

It’s hard to get off the floor when none of that is out there.

But he does it anyway, because maybe he has a bit of that winter strength. He packs up his stuff and sits at the bus stop, counts his exhales as they materialize in front of him, thankful for the heavy coat you’d bought for him a few years ago, now well-worn and no longer itchy. He sits at the back by himself and sends half-assed replies to all of those texts. Scrolls back to stare at the photo you’d sent him this morning—fresh from sleep and barefaced, lips pursed together in a kiss, thumb and pointer fingers together in a heart.

Slush sticks to his shoes as he ducks inside the building. Nearly trips climbing up the stairs, because the two of you live on the fourth floor and it feels too lazy to take the elevator, even when his muscles are screaming from a long day at the dance studio. But it keeps him moving. Keeps him upright and functional when all he wants to do is rot away.

His shoes are dry by the time he reaches the door, soaked into the carpet lining the hallway. His hands still bear the cold—red and unsteady, it takes him a few tries to punch in the code. Gets it wrong twice, and he takes a second to just… stand there, head resting against the door, feeling the weight of the world come down on him.

He’s not sure what he thought twenty-nine would be like, but surely it wasn’t this.

And maybe if he wasn’t feeling so low, he would’ve noticed. Your keys in the bowl by the door, your shoes in the rack. The light on in the kitchen. The smell of the miyeokguk simmering on the stove. The sound of your footsteps as you meet him where he stands, shoulders slumped, eyes brimming with tears and exhaustion.

“Hob-ah?”

There are hands on his face. Soft, he thinks. They’re touching him so softly, treating him just as delicately as he feels. He leans into it; recognizes the perfume stuck to the wrist. Knows it smells like home and an aching he can never seem to put a name to, and you don’t hesitate to wrap him tightly in your arms.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” he says, words waterlogged and hesitant as he speaks them into the crook of your neck. Nothing feels real, and he doesn’t trust himself to open his eyes.

You tangle your hands in his hair. Scratch lightly against his scalp. “I got an early flight home. Got back this afternoon.” This is where someone else would ask if he’s okay, try to pry apart his ribcage and look at all the ugly parts, but you don’t. There’s just a small intake of breath and the reluctance to let him go. “The miyeokguk is almost ready,” you say instead. “Do you want to take a shower while I get everything ready?”

Hoseok is reluctant to let go, too, but he’s at his best when he has a task. Needs something to accomplish, something to check off on his imaginary to-do list, so he nods. Pulls away and immediately misses your warmth. Takes your face in his hands and presses a kiss to your forehead. Thank you, it says. I needed you here.

You already know, though. You always do.

[stars-of-kyber]

To Free Me From This Torment - Chapter 1

"Dear Edwina, There is so much I must beg your forgiveness for, I scarcely know where to begin." ______________________________________________________________

When Edwina finds a letter from her sister after the Sheffield's dinner, apologising and saying goodbye, she is forced to face her true feelings about her engagement to Lord Bridgeton and the possibility of a life without the one person who had always been there her. Afraid of the possibility of never seeing Kate again, she turns for help to the one person who she knows can get her sister back. But she will need to be fast, for time is running out.

Hello my lovely people!

It's @mimix007 bday YAY (It was yesterday but Tuesday are my most packed days so I don't really have time to do this yesterday so let us all pretend!) Happy birthday darling, I hope you like your two-part present. Also thank you so much for the moodboard, it's beautiful!

I wanted to explore this scenario where Kate runs away and leaves a letter to Edwina admitting to her falling for Anthony and Edwina is forced to face the reality of Kate's feelings and the reality of maybe never seeing her sister again at the same time. This is the result.

I'm already halfway through the second part so I hope to post that soon. Also, there might be a lil epilogue, I only haven't decided if I'll add it to the second part of it will have a chapter of its own, so if the chapter count goes up, it's because of that.

Let me know what you think!

Lots of love,

Cee

[doverstar]

Hello hello I was told by your lovely sister, one of my favorite people on the planet, to send you the same question I asked her to see what else you could say about it, since you write a lot of fanfiction and are more familiar with it than she said she was, so here I am!

I wanted to ask about fanfiction. I've really been thinking about that post Artist made about how a lot of fanfiction can be just used as a form of escapism, and not in a good way like Tolkien described it, but as a 'I hate life so I'm gonna read and write extensively about fictional characters rather than working hard/trying to improve my own life' Which I really want to avoid and not do. In the past I've certainly fallen into that trap- I would get so caught up in writing Marvel or Percy Jackson or Harry Potter fanfiction (not to toot my own horn, but was objectively good and I do think grew my skills a lot as a writer and character analyzer) that I would spend every free moment and many of ones when I really should've been working on school or chores or spending time with my actual family reading and writing it. I was probably doing that 5-8 hours a day when I was 11/12. (Yikes) Thankfully, my parents smacked some sense into me lol. It really just goes to show you how, for lack of a better term, soul-consuming, that these kind of fantasy pursuits can really be. Thankfully, I don't do that any more. I actively limit myself to a max of 3 hours of reading and writing fanfiction over the course of a week, which is a big improvement.

So yay! Now I have a definte separation from writing fanfiction to improve my writing and writing it to waste time because all of my energy is focused on it to the point where it is in my every thought. Good! Growth!

But now my new thing is this- I want to make sure that any and all fanfiction I write has a definite point. I want it to point to good things and have clear messages and blue flowers and point to Jesus, even if it isn't specifically a 'Christian' fanfiction.

But how do I go about this trying to intentionally bring in blue flowers and good messages and beautiful themes, and not just only write it for my entertainment because its a piece of media I love? How to I make sure to firstly know what themes I can bring in, and then do it in such a way that's well-written, while also being able to have those fun moments and situations that are both in the piece of media and I've thought up?

And finally, last thing, is I'm wrestling through if I should continue writing fanfiction to 'fix' a story (which is why I started a Percy Jackson and Marvel fanfictions, I wanted to take the parts of each story I didn't like and were poorly done and make them better) rather than make my own point with it. For most of the fanfiction writing I've ever done, my goal was to improve it, to act like a ghostwriting editor the author hired to fix their fundamentally flawed story. But now I'm realizing that I was spending so much time and effort (which don't get me wrong, I do not fully regret, I really do think that I've gotten far better at fiction writing through this) and I didn't even add any more goodness or morals to the story in a way that made it more soul-sustaining and truly good. I wanted to add a lot of bits that made be as a reader squeal and get happy over which... I don't think is bad per say, but its not what I want my fanfiction to be like any more. With my writing, I absolutely do want to improve on the source material, yes, but I also want to figure out what sort of themes and goodness I'm going for with it. So should I continue writing these large projects (cause each piece covers several books/movies) for improvement and also try to expand on the good ideas and themes the authors had, even bringing in my own, or should I just set it aside as that was great, but now I need to focus on making writing morally good and not just for entertainment?

I know a big part of this is wisdom and descretion- things that God has blessed me with but I know I always can pursue more of. So I know a absolute perfect answer to this question will require time and experience. But after sorting through my word-vomiting (sorry lol), what would you say to all of this? Thank you!! <3 I love you and your blog so much btw!

Golly, what a question! I haven't seen what Arti answered yet - I've been at work - but I'm on break now, so I can give it a try! I bet I'll end up saying a lot of what she said, making this an unnecessary and VERY LONG read, but here goes-

I do write a lot of fanfiction, and I have been since I was 8 (aka for a long, long time, gosh I'm old-). I wrestle with a lot of what you've described! I've been on the brink of quitting fanfiction altogether lately; there will come a time when I need to "grow up" in that area and commit to only writing what's just mine. I do have original stories, original worlds, original characters, but like you, when I want to practice and learn, I turn to fanfiction. It's a wonderful platform in that sense!

I would say you're right on the money when it comes to what the Lord has gifted you with. You should use wisdom, and you should use discretion. Your writing should be used to point to what's true, and there should be intention in no matter what you're creating. We're not only called to glorify God, we're called to excellence. Everything we do should be done to the best of our ability!

And what you believe, if you really believe it - about what's true, about how we ought to live and what's important - is definitely going to bleed through into whatever you write. It's the truth, and you've found it, and it can't help coming out. Making something (writing in particular) requires pieces of us, and if that's the case, then our Christianity (for lack of a better phrase) is going to show up in our stories. Even if the characters belong to someone else.

If you find yourself writing a story just to squeal over a ship, just to get secondhand butterflies when the male lead's being dreamy, just to vent some sort of difficult emotion you're dealing with or live vicariously through a character, you should close the laptop. I've written plenty of things that make me feel happy or excited (like you said, that's not bad!) but if that's the only reason you're writing it, it's a waste. And on another, semi-related note, a lot of people only write fanfiction to indulge in emotional pornography. It's not as steep a slope as you might think. When my father-in-law gets just a little drunk every night before bed, it's still sin. It doesn't matter how much or how long it lasts. He's still drunk, and he shouldn't be. So be careful! (she said, to herself, often-)

As for writing just to fix a story - if it's bothering you, and you see what they ought to have done, I say go for it, and here's why: it's teaching you something. It's you figuring out why what the source material did was dissatisfying, and it's you figuring out how your alternative is better. You're essentially teaching yourself what not to do. Now, if you want to write it and fix it and you want to keep the focus on good things, true things, there's still a way to do that. Work out what was good and true already about the source material and draw from that when it comes to theme.

I use a Notes document. I'm not talking about the Notes app on smartphones, I'm saying I open a Word document (or whatever your equivalent is!) for every single thing I write (fanfiction, original, etc.) and I entitle it "[Insert Story Title Here] - Notes.doc" and then I word-vomit at myself. I write at the top what the theme of my writing is going to be this time, and why, and underneath that I explain to myself where I see those good and true themes in the source material and how I'm going to magnify them and use them to point to the truth (specifically some Christian truths) in my story now. I figure out how it will all work and feel canon and then I move on to the pre-write for each chapter. It's good practice, it's great fun, and it keeps me on course when I start to drift into self-indulgence during the writing process. It's fun to visit Atlantica and Stars Hollow and get inside Caitlin Snow's head and show the world why I think Rose Tyler is the best thing to ever happen to Doctor Who - but all of those things can pull me away from the messages I'm trying to communicate.

Fanfiction should not be escapism. I cannot write when I am freaking out. I cannot write when I'm miserable, or angry, or fighting with someone. When I'm low emotionally and my spirit is scratched, I can't complete a single sentence. I can't. I think the Lord did that in me for a reason. I don't use fanfiction to escape reality or to deal with reality. When I was younger, I considered a day when I wasn't writing to be a wasted day. I needed to write. I needed to make something. But I prioritized that over reality, and yes, that is sin. I wasn't escaping, but I was idolizing, and that's wrong. I'm impressed by your self-inflicted limits! I could've done with that at 12 myself.

Fanfiction shouldn't be all self-indulgence, either. Yes, you ought to have some fun when you're making things. But have self-control! I love writing fanfiction and drawing and editing videos. I love it. It's so much fun to me. I get genuine joy out of it. And when I look at something I'm making, I say to myself, "Self, is this a waste of time? Does that part need to be in there or are you just playing?" And then I examine my motives and I examine the thing I'm worried about and I determine whether or not it takes you out of the story or draws you away from the themes (in writing specifically) or if it's okay to add because it's pleasant and matches one of the good, lovely, honorable, etc. things that are true in life that God allows us to have and enjoy, because He's just that good. And then I have to either say to myself, "Self, this is fattening," and delete it, or I say to myself "Hey, dolphins twirl," and leave it in, making sure I'm still on course.

Dolphins twirl! Why? We don't know why they twirl! God does. God made them twirl. God made them animals that play. He didn't have to do that! He didn't have to make the leaves change color. He looked at His creation and called it good when He was finished (you know, before we ruined it). He took pleasure in creating. We can too - as long as it's not pulling us or our readers off course. My husband doesn't have to be a good dancer to fit the biblical picture of a man I ought to marry - but he is a good dancer, on top of fitting what I should have been looking for biblically, and God knew that, and God did that, and I get to enjoy it and enjoying it is not wrong. Dolphins twirl!

Like I said, I'm close myself to putting fanfiction aside on the whole, because I can tell, probably because of the Lord, that it's nearly time for that. It's time to look up and make something more real, for more real reasons. If you're thinking it's about time for that for you, too, pray about it. Writing fanfiction is like anything else fun the Lord has blessed us with (everything good comes from God) - it's fun and good as long as you aren't misusing it. Everything in moderation. People take stories they love and characters they connect to and go and interact with them through fanfiction in a bad way, for bad reasons (or just reasons that are useless to man and beast), and I've done that before myself. I've been one of them. But it's not wrong to expand on the good and true things in stories we love, the things that are in line with what we know God invented, and it's not wrong to hone your craft and learn how to use what you've been given with excellence, so that when the time comes for you to write your own story that points to God, you're ready!

You don't want to be wasting your time or the talents you've been given. I say keep thinking about it, and remember why you do what you do. Stay on course! That's my advice.

Thanks for asking me!

[prettyandthinandcrushin]

I Graduated!!

So i officially graduated on Saturday, we had our ceremony and cap and gown (which i am NOT showing pics of that, those gowns are just so bad fashion smh) but that means officially he is not my teacher anymore.

Sorry i haven't posted lately, been so busy and I'll explain (leaving some of the more personal details out of course, this is a sfw blog after all haha)

C and I have have been together many times, and you could truly say we are dating at this point. We really have been enjoying each other's company and despite the age difference, we have many interests and passions in common. We've talked about becoming more serious now that i am really no longer a student and he is not my teacher (along with his divorce is about final yay!!) What will happen in the future?? i don't know and really don't care. I'm happy at the moment, learning more about myself and i think that's all you can ask out of life.

And for any of those people who criticize him or me, that they say I'm too young for him, he's too older for me, that he's taking advantage of me, that he's grooming me or just using me....I say, how can he be taking advantage of me when this is something I wanted? He didn't hypnotize me, drug me, or coerce me into anything. I'm not dumb (ok contrary to what my final grades say!) Free will and following my heart is something i truly believe and will the rest of my life. Maybe the age gap is big between us and maybe that causes an issue in the future, but how many relationships have broken up because of other issues? There are so many reasons to try to be in a loving, caring relationship. There's so much ugly in the world, I'm happy to be apart of something beautiful.

So all of my tc friends out there, to all of my besties, I say, follow your heart. You might get heartbroken, but you also might find amazing happiness and either way you learn more about yourself, which is what life is anyways right?

For my tc friends, i've posted on my pic blog my graduation dress. Family threw a huge party saturday after the ceremony. C couldn't be there, that was the only bad thing but I saw him at the ceremony (he winked at me haha)

[weirdkpopgirl]

Dark Hours | Mark Imagine #3

Title: Dark Hours

Genre: Angst

Warnings: mentions of past self-harm, reader has a breakdown (yay)

Word Count: 594

Author's Note: Am I crazy for writing this at midnight and posting it an hour and a half later? Yeah, especially when I have a million other things to do. This was an idea that I just really wanted to get out, and I thought it was also a good opportunity to post something for Mark. I truly hope this story comforts anyone who is going through a hard time ^ ^

P.S. I am currently working on a few fics for different 7Dream members. In the meantime, I will try my best to post small things like this when I can!

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Mark quietly entered the mostly dark bedroom, where the only light came from the distant city lights filtering through the window shades. As he switched on his lamp, he was surprised to discover that you were still awake at this hour. You lay on your side of the bed, just as you always did. But your gaze seemed distant as it fixated on the ceiling above. In Mark's eyes, you looked so beautiful, yet so burdened by the invisible chains of your mind. He longed to free you from their grasp. But he knew it wasn’t that easy. 

Without a word, he slipped beneath the deep blue covers and gently tugged you closer into his embrace. The warmth emanating from his body provided a stark contrast to the chill of your skin. Mark hoped to share his warmth physically. But he also wanted to share it emotionally.

Neither of you said anything and lay beside each other in silence. Then you felt the touch of Mark’s fingers tenderly tracing the faded pink and white scars on your thigh. Despite your legs being concealed beneath the comforter, he managed to find the textured lines etched across your bare skin. 

Another two minutes of silence passed before Mark sensed your body beginning to tremble. It was then that he locked eyes with you, and they were brimming with tears.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, worried he had done something wrong.

You cringed internally as your voice quivered when you whispered, “I’m sorry for hiding this from you for so long.”

“(Y/n)...” His lips parted, but for once he was at a loss for words.

The fact that he had only learned about this secret of yours earlier this week—after being together almost a year, weighed heavily in his thoughts. To only imagine that you had been suffering for so long, without anyone to guide you was deeply troubling to him. He wished so badly that he could’ve been with you during those dark hours.

Attempting to blink away the tears, you paused before confessing, “I just... I was afraid you'd look at me differently if you knew.”

Mark’s heart broke when he heard you say this. He moved his hand to gently cup the side of your face, guiding your eyes to meet his. 

“Hey, those scars don't change how I feel about you, okay?” he reassured, his words resonating with sincerity. “I love you, (Y/n), every part of you.”

Unable to suppress your emotions any longer, you sobbed into his shoulder, your tears likely staining his shirt. Mark didn't hesitate to draw you closer and gently stroke your hair as you wept.

“You’re not alone anymore, (Y/n),” he whispered, “I’ll help you heal, and we’ll get through your darkest hours together.”

Eventually, your tears slowed and your body gradually stopped shaking. Mark used his thumb to gently wipe your cheek. You’ve never felt more grateful to have someone by your side.

With his thumb, he wiped away any lingering tears, and in response, you released a heavy sigh. “I love you so much,” you whispered. You could say those words over and over again.

Mark smiled a little before leaning in for a deep, slow kiss. “I love you more than words can express.”

The two of you instinctively snuggled closer, closing any remaining distance between the two of you. In the warmth of that moment, you both found solace in each other's arms, knowing that your love would conquer any darkness that life might throw your way.

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