#so while the eggs have never been the focus of this whole situation to me (the admins have)

[pommunist]

This is mostly gonna be just a rant but it just baffles me how everything Qstudios has done since the beginning of the admins situation is a terrible pr move. So yeah this is just gonna talk how, even if you forget the immoral and potential illegal stuff that went on, I don’t think their strategy is doing any good for the studio’s image.

-Going radio silent publicly and privately : Kinda the original sin of all this mess tbh. This obviously just leaves the space for the ex admins to share their stories, even more so since they have been ignored privately beforehand when they tried to handle things internally. This also allowed for the union to publicly intervene and more ccs talking about it, and actual news article being made on it.

-Leaving the server open : Tbh I get wanting to leave it open, maybe to allow minecraft centered ccs to still make content or maybe because it’d be weird to close it right after new people got in but also I think it would have be better to close it temporarily while they focus on the changes they promised rather than having it getting deserted little by little until it feels like a ghost town. This + also not a good look to have so many npcs online when Q said there would be none until things get better (The current npcs are likely non volunteers, once again not a bad or illegal thing per say but not a good look). Closing it would also have made it so that the reopening would have been a big and probably positive event.

-Welcoming new ccs/new languages : This might just be because of scheduling necessities or whatever and something they couldn’t do later but it still made the community go :/// to get new people while on the flip side you had parts of the fandom leaving because of what was happening. Also not great for the new arrivals to start in such a weird climate, without admins help and with few people online on the server.

-Releasing merch at the worst time possible : This might have been something they couldn’t change, just like the arrival of the Koreans/Hugo, but it still isn’t a good look for them to release egg merch after it came out that some of the egg admins were poorly treated, especially when they haven’t stated clearly that benefits from the merch would go towards paying staff. It’s also not a good look for them to release new discounts every day, barely ten days after release. (Also the Qstudios Twt account retweeting every egg figures announcement except for Pomme will never not make me laugh)

-Making the twitter updates accounts active again : Yes it may just be that they’re using a bot or that it’s the people who are in charge of the Qstudios twitter account posting on it, both of which are not wrong per say. But of course people are gonna wonder if it’s new people being hired, of course speculation will happen when there’s a lack of transparency, of course ex admins are gonna be upset when it seems like things are continuing as if nothing happened, when they were fired without a warning, a thanks or even a sorry.

And now we have the two points that are kinda in a « you fucked up so bad it’s almost funny and I almost feel bad for you guys » category

-« Hey guys out of all the people we exploited and treated poorly you know which ones we’re gonna make eat dirt the most ? Hell yeah the ones that are from a part of the world who literally have a whole cliche about them complaining and rioting for anything and everything. Also happen to be the same ones whose community we alienated for months by sidelining them. Also happen to be a community who, during this time, has grown quite close to our most active community (who are themselves quite mad at us by now) to the point that they are making memes about the two of them being in love with each other. Yeah surely this can only go well »

-« Oh no, people actually really care » : QSMP Fans in general just loved and appreciated all the work the admins did, whether they were twitter admins, builders, actors, writers… This is even more true since the situation also revealed that some admins things people have been most critical on (lore being weirdly interrupted, french being ignored…) were not these admins fault. And of course, you have the eggs admins case. How do you make viewers and ccs alike get SO attached to these kid characters, as if it was their children, while mistreating the people playing them and not expect this to blow up in your face at some point. It’s like you managed to catch lightning in a bottle and then left it to rot thinking this wouldn’t end up badly. Weirdly this one makes me kinda hopeful bc Qstudios kinda HAVE to fix it or else they lose on of their main selling points.

[tequila-solar-storm]

NS/FW

Cw: mpreg, eggpreg, somnophilia

I so hope hoyo won't just put ajaw lore under the rug or smth vxjxhx on a character design perspective I've been wondering why Ajaw's tiny form doesn't match his big form in Kinich burst why is he yellow??? Did Ajaw just felt silly and pick a random color?? Or maybe he's yellow and in the burst he appears black for.... Aesthetic purposes only..

EGGS WITH A 'S' INDEED!!!

If their kid happens to be kinich's printer copy ajaw will just have more excuse to pop more eggs into him, amirite? ;]

Yesss the hardest part about somno is keeping Kinich asleep, completely agree with that, him getting mora while resting is such a kinich move I love him, maybe he should really invest on those sleeping aids from time to time lol

"Crotch mutilation mode" had me choke on my launch first time I read it author, you're hilarious xD

Thank you for answering :)))

—🌻

Previous Post

Thank YOU for sending me these lovely asks!! I always have such a blast responding to them!!

Ajaw’s always been quite inconsistent in his appearance. Even his (Extremely cute) angry face looks pretty different from his usual chill face! So I thought Ajaw being black in his big form was to look like an imposing shadow. Considering how beautifully doofy his bright yellow and greens are, he needs to look cool and mysterious when serious!! Except he still ends up looking very cute because, well, it’s Ajaw!

Regarding Ajaw’s lore, we might get a Cyno Story Quest 2 situation where all of Ajaw’s lore will dumped on us via NPCs yapping over the course of two hours!! I’m just hoping for another Kinich quest in the future, since the Natlan Tribal Chronicles are, well, Tribal Chronicles and not Character Story Quests. Which means the focus is more on the tribe as a whole and not specifically the character…

That aside, EGGS!!! Ajaw’s going to love his children no matter what (They’re the spawn of his almighty visage after all!) but he WILL use the excuse of their child being a copy of Kinich to breed him again. A hilarious way this can turn out is their second kids turns out to be another copy of Kinich. And the third. And the fourth. Kinich pulls the brakes on their fifth because that’s way too many kids and he still needs to work! No matter, fifth times the charm, right? And Ajaw loses the genetic lottery. Again. Imagine losing the 50/50 but like 5 times. Unfortunately for Ajaw there’s no such thing as hard pity in life 😔

HAHA ANYWAYS In the more realistic scenario where his draconic genes are pretty strong, Ajaw’s still going to have more kids with Kinich. Not because he wants more mini hims, but because breeding Kinich became a full blown kink of his. You think Kinich’s the only one who got a breeding kink? Think again! Just watching him with their eggs!! Tending to their kids!! Turns Ajaw on so badly!! He’ll never admit it though, and once he runs out of creative excuses he’s just going to keep fucking Kinich with no explanation. That’s true love right there!

Everyone needs to get on Kinich’s level! Be productive even in your sleep! Hustle hustle hustle!! Remember to switch off your crotch multination mode before you work HAHAHAHA Jokes aside I’m glad you liked it!! Some people enjoy danger, so perhaps they’ll like trying to fuck Kinich’s pretty sleeping face with the looming threat?? 🤔

[youtubeyouniversitytherapy]

Therapy Exercise 1: Check In! || Ethan & Dean Tat

Ethan sat in the chair across from Dean Tat, very much used to the routine they went through by now.

He was used to this spot, used to this setting, used to this therapist.

Regardless, he still always felt on edge when having an appointment with any of the Deans. Truly he felt like he had nothing to hide with them, yet still they would pry. It was their job after all to do that.

So there he sat, listening to her type rapidly away on her computer. He wondered what she was writing on there, she hadn’t even started asking him anything yet! What was so important for her to be typing on there that came before the session first? Honestly, that was what had him mostly on edge above everything.

“… Sorry about that, we can get started on our session now.” The Dean smiled over her computer monitor at him. “How are you doing this week?”

He breathed out a sigh of relief he hadn’t realized he had been holding. Glad to finally get this ball rolling.

“Good actually! I think I’ve been adjusting well with all the new students that have come in lately. Lot of new personalities.” he smiled, thinking of all of them now.

“That’s good to hear, I was about to ask how you feel about the new students..”

He was a little unsettled about how she knew what he wanted to talk about, but again, she was a professional. And they were both very well acquainted with each other by now.

“They all have a lot of… energy. And honestly, it’s refreshing to see so many new faces here. Keeps this place alive. Tara seems really fun, and me and Zach’s fur babies seem to get along so I think that’s telling of his personality. Oh and Jaiden is really cool! …But uh, I kind of fumbled an interaction so hard with her…”

“What happened?” Dean Tat pressed, already beginning to type away at her computer again.

“Well… she showed me these frozen eggs she was keeping that came from her birds. Pretty sure they were long past being able to hatch anymore but.. She trusted me to hold one of them and it slipped right out of my buttery fingers..” Even now he was still embarrassed about what happened, cringing visibly through his body language. He knew he majorly fucked up doing that, and wouldn’t blame her for never trusting him with anything ever again. With some as delicate as an egg, what else could his being destroy?

He could hear her typing fast even as he spoke, trailing off in his words just listening to her go at the keyboard again. Oh my god, she was definitely analyzing the hell out of him now. Probably writing something like “Baby Bird Killer” in his file, he’ll never recover from this.

“…I’m sorry the egg cracking stressed you out.. How did she react when you did this?” she asked after finishing up a sentence on her computer probably.

“….. Well, funny enough. She seemed…. Neutral… unbothered by the whole thing.”

“… And did this stress you out?”

“… Well kinda? I don’t know, I wanted to be relieved that she wasn’t mad. But… I really expected more out of her, I guess. Her not reacting kind of has me in tangles more over it… like what if she secretly is more mad than she’s fronting?”

“I think it’s important to take this situation at face value then, it’s not your responsibility to manage other’s emotions in these scenarios, especially if you’ve already apologized. It sounds like you’re remorseful over it and have made it clear, so it’s best if you take a step back and let her feel how she does about it. Whether apathetic or upset.” When Dean Tat spoke this time, her full attention was on him, eyes on his with sincerity.

That was one thing Ethan appreciated with the Dean. When she was making an important point, she would make sure her focus was solely on you. Whether that meant to make you feel comfortable or under pressure.

“You’re probably right…”

‘Let’s move on to old faces now, how have things been with your peers?”

“Oh, well… Mark and Rosanna seem to be doing good! They’ve been more busy lately, but who isn’t? Especially while running a house, even me and Arin have been struggling trying to play catch up with the Gammas… and me and Rose have gotten.. Closer..” oh goodness, he was talking about Rose now. Instant blush rose over his cheeks just at the thought of her. 

Dean Tat resisted smiling.

Ethan looked away from her desk, down at his hands now that he was holding together. “And I’m thankful that we have but.. It has me worried. Like.. something awful is about to happen.

There it was, something he’d never be able to admit to anyone else. Really, no one else would really understand why either. Except… well, Rose maybe.

“Something awful?” she asked.

“Yeah… it feels like whenever I start to really hit it off with someone, or get really close to them, they just…. Leave me.”

It stung to say, his skin prickling up but the words sprawled across his mind for awhile now. 

“Is the problem just… me?”

Dean Tat deeply frowned now, scooting closer into her desk to look at him.

“No.. no you are not.”

It was concerning to hear from a medical standpoint, and Ethan realized that now, eyes widening a little bit and starting to chuckle rather nervously.

“No yeah, I mean, just… I mean it just feels related somehow and I know that’s crazy but… I’m scared that it’s going to happen again… and I don’t know if I’m prepared for the fallout this time..”

Dean Tat stared at him empathetically, but it almost felt like pity on his end. Regardless, he gave her the benefit of the doubt. “Relationships… your relationships are important to you, that’s abundantly clear to me and to even yourself. You shouldn’t close yourself off just because of the possibilities. No one can live without love in their life, platonic or romantic.”

Ethan slowly nodded, taking her words in and letting them soak in his mind. 

“I won’t… close myself off, I mean.”

Dean Tat gave a nod starting to scoot back over to her computer and typing away again. Of course she would jot that down in her notes. It was such a vulnerable thing to share and he outright said it to her!

“Alright, that ends our session for the day I think… I hope that the program has been helping you feel better about being here..” she offered a smile over to him.

Ethan nodded, a smile rising to his lips as well. 

“It has… thank you..”

Dean Tat nodded, looking at her computer and beginning to work on it once again. 

As he left, he couldn’t help but watch her type what he assumed were more notes on himself, getting more anxious by the minute.

“..Make sure you close the door on your way out.”

[adracat]

So I have a feeling I'm gonna ramble on here, so tl:dr is basically I love your writing, thanks for sharing. With that out of the way:

I started by reading your G Witch myth analyses here on Tumblr. TBQH a lot of it went over my head, but I enjoyed them all (went through a mythology phase in like elementary school, so it's been a minute, but I still casually enjoy learning about myths). Then I saw you have fics on AO3. And as a millennial on the interwebs I am aware of the site, but as someone generally in the ace sphere of things I haven't actually spent any time over there. Anyway, I found your Law of Causality series and because my Sulemio brainrot is boundless I read As Above So Below. And boy howdy did I enjoy that. Like, read it a few times. The story telling is really good, and I love the little notes you stick on at the ends of the chapters. Now I am not a Prospera fan, so I didn't read Chaos and Night for a while. But eventually I decided I liked your writing enoughto give it a try. What can I say, I truly enjoy the world you concocted and wanted more of it. I'm glad I did, because I think that may be my favorite of the three stories. Still don't like Prospera as a person in general, but you wrote her so well. Like, girl, don't go making those stupid-ass choices. But obviously I see why she did, because her characterization comes through so strong in your stories, so she really had no choice in her decisions (tragically, yes). But, not to state the obvious or anything, Notrette is the one who steals the show. My favorite of your characters. The times where she is so open and honest and vulnerable in sharing her feelings with Prospera kills me every single time. She gets the best lines due to those situations. Like there are at least three times where she bluntly asks Prospera to stay in the garden, and that's not even counting the handful of times she asks for them to be a family. Damn. We all know what's gonna happen, but it doesn't make that knife's edge any less sharp. I have many favorite lines of hers, but up there is when she come back from Delling and tells Prospera she was only able to do it by thinking of her. Man, that whole interaction gets me every time and I gotta take a moment to pause and reflect. Absolutely heart wrenching. Anywho. Their toxic, tragic relationship is just so dynamic. Plus, again, all your mythology easter eggs were delightful. I thoroughly enjoyed looking up the different names and stories as I came upon/recognized them. (I'm actually naming a new character of mine in an upcoming ttrpg I'm joining after one of the gods I learned about and then did a deeper dive into late one night.) I'm sure there was quite a bit that slipped past my notice, which is a testament to your vast knowledge of a wide variety of deities across different cultures. Theophany was like a sweet afterwards/gift when it came out. Loved how it ties in the two stories, and how the two relationships mirror each other. Devastatingly so, and also in a beautiful way. I will never get over Prospera always being so firmly rooted in the past that she kills off so many healing futures she might have had. And how Suletta refuses to do the same, even without knowing her mother's tragedies, and is able to focus more on her present with a certain amount of forethought as well. Ugg, cycles indeed. I have, of course, read your other G Witch fics (the finished ones anyway, will get to the last one when it's completed). Those are great as well, but I mostly wanted to gush about your Law of Causality. I have read each story multiple times now. Just last night I finished reading all of them, in order, in their entirety. I can't get them out of my head (kinda want to go and reread my favorite parts again already) which is what lead me to reaching out to you. I'm not sure if this is poor etiquette or whatever, and I'm not an elegant writer like you, and it's certainly obnoxiously long, but I figured I've gotten so much enjoyment from your writing I ought to let you know. So. Thanks.

This made my day! Thank you so much for the gushing praise. Law of Causality possessed my soul while writing it, and I honestly think it may be the best thing I've written purely on a cohesive and thematic level. I wanted people to dive deep into everything I was doing there and think about why certain references were chosen. I'm looking for a moment to actually do a lengthy write-up on the stuff that may have been too obfuscated lmao. The two pairings are complimentary and contrasting tellings that I loved bringing to life. Prospera I knew would be a hard sell for people, but I'm glad you gave it a chance! Notrette's lines were a treat. (Ngl I reread too for them) I'm glad I wrote her saying the wildest off-the-wall shit to contrast Prospera's self-inflicted misery brainhole. It's incredible to know my work is seen and appreciated <3

[sburbian-sage]

Ah shit man if you needed food all you had to do was say, kinda shit texture but i made a fuckton of freeze dried foods and vacuum sealed them and they should be heading your way and arriving around the same time you get this message

(one of my coplayers was a farmer and entered with a whole ass farm, livestock and all) so theres gonna be some powdered eggs, freeze-dried beef and chicken, powdered potatoes and i think i managed to get some freeze-dried tomato powder as well, as well as some powdered milk, and also some canned corn

Honestly there were very few actual aspect abilities used to send you the box of candy which was a kind of test

Sent em over with a jury rigged telepad thing that i rigged up with a lot of bullshit, a bit of denizen magic, and also the mini-paradox skaia off the kings staff that i stole, using your posts as a kind of beacon with my space aspect (witch of space baby)

Tried making a cool infini-tele-staff thing but my alchimeter exploded and killed me so thats probably not gonna work

Honestly ive been just dicking about since I'm pretty sure this is a doomed timeline cause all my coplayers true deathed a while back

As far as I'm aware my denizen says I'm supposed to use this thing to send back some stuff but never bothered to tell me what i was supposed to send and then went and died so who knows

... Man, I feel bad now.

I didn't actually receive any of the candy the other guy sent. In fact, I didn't actually know until just right now that there was an authentic attempt to send me anything. I read "*uses my space powers to teleport a box of candy onto your ship thing in front of you*" as being in the same genre of post as "sends u internet hugs", AKA a nice message that doesn't actually come with any real hugs. I pretended I received the candy so I could play along and make a joke about thinking it was a Saccharine Doppleganger scare. I briefly considered saying "you teleported it outside of the ship and it has tentacles now", but I thought 1) that was too cynical 2) I could segue the joke I did end up using into a fun Knowledge Tidbit. But the consequences of this joke is that two people just teleported two care packages into who-knows-where and I just made everyone in this situation look like an asshole, especially myself.

I'd also advise against any attempts to do this in the future. I'm in the Furthest Ring, which is essentially a non-Space (and I don't think Time works correctly either) the deepest reaches of which do not "exist" in any particular Session. Space abilities can't directly access it (the best they can do is fling stuff in there, as in you're literally throwing them), and technology like Sendificators and Appearifiers can't really have their coordinates set out here, partially because I think they're bound to the universe they exist in and partially because I don't think euclidean space is really "a thing" out here so the numbers wouldn't even work. The fact that the Ring Servers can exist out here and provide a pan-Session online network is nothing short of miraculous, and it's mostly because their existences have been bargained for with the Others (so it's actually demonic power if anything, heh). To put it another way, if you could teleport something from your Session to my position in the Furthest Ring, you could do the opposite, and if you could do the opposite, I would not be here.

Either way, I don't mind that the packages didn't arrive and you shouldn't either. I have a stockpile of "real food" that isn't just staple crops, the Cookalizer does a good job of making them taste like something, and I do have a Alimentator, but I try not to use it too much because that stuff isn't free-use and I can't exactly gather any Grist or resources out here, same reason why I've mostly been saving my Alchemiter for air filters and other low-cost "maintenance" needs. I will survive. You should focus more on your own survival, particularly the "I might be in a Doomed Timeline and if I'm not then I'm the last survivor" and "my Denizen empowered one of my items and asked me to do something important with it" parts.

Also, congrats on the farm. I'm pretty sure those farm animals are Doomed because they're homeworld-originated non-player entities, so enjoy them while you can (as in "they're probably going to get wiped out with a meteor or something dumb and contrived). If you really want to help people with your food, I'd get into Alimentator hacking. Basically you can upload the food you make as a digital .ali file that other people can download and use a jailbroken Alimentator to turn it into actual food. It's really sick, but I know how to do that about as well as I know how to actually cook (and I'm not really in a position to begin learning considering the scarcity of resources). Luckily the Alimentator/Sburban Cooking community might be as big if not bigger than the Gamebreaking community, so there's a lot of resources out there that will help you get started. If you do end up getting into it (and not dying because of your current predicament), once I land in an actual Session I'll be searching through your .ali file upload for my first meal.

[novantinuum]

Glow or dark for ask game? 👀 not usually an and/or situation here....

Ty friend!! :33

So, this one is (or was, I guess) a one-shot I started writing for a recent Connverse prompt week. “Glow or Dark” were the two choices for day one, so I decided I wanted to try and find a way to mash them up together into one. This is adult Connverse, they’re like… engaged by now.

Basically, the idea I had was “Connie is kinda Big Bummer Steven doesn’t use his powers much anymore” and like… they’re all huddled in bed together, having a sleepy convo about this. My thinking is like… for a while Steven over-compensates? And he’s like… putting all his eggs in the “being human” basket and now somewhat neglecting his Gem side, and that makes Connie sad, because she loves both sides of him, and wishes he felt more comfortable expressing himself in all ways with her.

Also her fiancé can glow like a goddamn glow stick and she thinks it’s pretty, so sue her— it’s pretty and she wishes she could see it more but under positive circumstances *wheeze*

Snippit:

_

“Y’know, it’s kinda a shame you only glow when you’re really, really stressed out,” Connie murmurs out of nowhere that night, nuzzling herself even further into his side. “I bet you’d make for a nice nightlight.”

“Wait, what?” Steven responds, his words punctuated by a sudden peel of bemused laughter. He props himself up in their bed, scooting apart from her wanting embrace (she gives a pitiful but very cute little whine at this, still half-asleep) so he can actually turn to meet her eyes. “Where’s this coming from?”

If he fully understands the underlying question in his fiancé’s drowsy doozy of a comment— a comment he doubts she’d ever make while awake and alert— then she’s probably inquiring about why he never consciously utilizes even half the full potential of his power, not even recreationally.

And if he’s honest, it’s a fair question. He’s been somewhat ignoring this part of himself ever since he moved in with her late last year.

After all, it’s not like there’s much practical use for many of his abilities anymore. There’s no battles left to fight. No empires left to dismantle. No need to host those monthly healing sessions he used to organize, ever since he and the Gems bottled a large stock of his saliva for long term use. It’s nice, in a way. It’s like an extended vacation from all the stressors of this facet of his existence. Instead, he’s been able to focus all his time and energy on other stuff— like finally pursuing his GED, and doing some experimentation with some new instruments he’s never played. 

Little things.

Human things.

That glowing she speaks of, though…

The remnants of laughter fade from his lips as he refocuses his mind on this topic.

He hasn’t gone pink in weeks. It’s the longest period that’s passed without a flare up since that month his gem fell into an energy conserving stasis immediately following his meltdown in his teen years. So why is she bringing this up now? 

What’s really on her mind?

He asks as such.

This appeal for emotional honesty seems to jostle Connie out of the brunt of her drowsiness. She rubs the sleep out of her eyes with the furthest edge of her knuckles and then parts her lips again.

“It’s just… you never use them anymore,” she says, her brow creasing inwards. “Any of them. And of course I understand why, but…”

“But—?”

“But sometimes… I wish things weren’t so muddled for you. That you felt free to express yourself as both a human and a Gem in this space.”

His brows thread together as he considers all this, his confusion-addled mind looping right back to the throwaway, sleepy statement that hurtled this whole conversation into being in the first place. “So, wait— you’re saying you want me… to glow for you—?”

[not-poignant]

would you be willing to share more constellations excerpts with us? eagerly awaiting more gwyn, ef, and arden 👀

I will anon!

But probably closer to when it's actually coming out, which isn't actually for a while unfortunately.

(Now for a longer response):

I do have two excerpts put aside, but given I have a few stories going at the moment:

Underline the Black Underline the Blue Underline the Gold Underline the Red A Stain that Won't Dissolve The Nascent Diplomat and Smoke in Autumn

I've realised that it would be kind of foolish to put out Constellations now since I already have four stories in that list that are rotating around and don't get regular updates.

I have come to a heavy decision that Constellations is going to have to wait (I cry). The good news is it means when it starts I'll have more to share and way more excerpts to share closer to the date! The bad news is it might be a few months out, since I want to at least finish one of these stories first, or know I'm close and er, er, we're not that close to finishing most of them. (Pooooossibly The Nascent Diplomat? But not...really.)

I might also crack like an egg and start putting it up in like 2-3 months! But I'm trying to be A Good Author (to myself) and actually focus on putting up excerpts for stuff that isn't backburnered out into possibly late 2023/early 2024. And honestly, I really really believe that running four stories at the same time with four other stories rotating in and out is actually just too much. Even seven stories is too much. It's not too much for me, thanks to ADHD meds, which made me realise I am now in the unique position I've never been in before, which is to...start saving up stories.

This is like a Christmas miracle for me because I honestly never thought it would happen! And that's also why I jumped the gun too early, because I am so used to urgent 'must post everything at once' dopamine brain that I didn't realise I could just...write a bomb story and know that I could have something saved for later, and actually like...take weekends off sometimes (which I currently do not do because I am a very sickly machine, you know, like those cars that are completely falling apart but will somehow still take you across the country and the mechanic's always like 'dunno how this beast is still running and when it dies you're gonna need to replace the whole car because fixing it isn't worth it' dslakjfsa).

Vexteria is also sadly in the same boat. But I've posted more chunky excerpts for Constellations than Vexteria already asdlfkjas

The smart thing to do would have been to sit on the excerpts for both of these stories until I knew when the release date was. Now I feel like I've done a YOI Ice Adolescence situation (IYKYK), but anyway! In answer to your question: The good news is 'yes!' The bad news is 'maybe not for a little while!'

[spinningbuster98]

17, 22, 23 (you can choose your fandom :P)

17) Rather than having the Four Guardians all die off screen (Omega's explosion? really?) I would have rather they'd die one by one in Zero 4 while working with Zero to stop Weil. Since that game's the big finale and Zero dies at the end I think that would have been pretty appropriate.

22) I don't hate him but I've never been too big on Knuckles. I SHOULD like him, as his whole shtick of being too kind hearted and socially awkward, leading to him being easily tricked, sounds pretty interesting....but in practice I find that all the times he was tricked he wound up looking like just an idiot. Oh sure do trust the Egg Shaped scientist who's stuffing your island's animals into robots, and then proceed to do so again another 2-3 times or so. He's certainly gotten better in recent years as he hasn't gotten tricked in over a decade, but then we move onto the other issue of the games often not bothering to show him guarding the ME just to shove him into a story, which inadvertently makes him look irresponsible (sometimes it may make sense, like in Heroes and Forces where the world was in danger and he had to act, but Advance 3? The Riders? Rush? Lost World too maybe depending on how you look at it?). Then there's his story in SA1 which genuinely angers me a bit, and not just due to the huge drop in IQ he receives when Eggman tricks him again, but because the game goes out of his way of giving him 3 whole Tikal flashbacks about his ancestors....and the story does nothing with it! I'm fine with him coming to the conclusion that he would rather not think too hard about his acestors and just focus on his job, as Knuckles is at his core a pretty simple and focused guy...but he never REACTS to anything! He sees for the first time other Echidnas after years of solitude and wondering why he's in this situation...and never even gives anything he sees a passing thought other than "Huh that was weird". As such the conclusion of his arc feels unearned to me. There's a setup, there's a conclusion...but no actual meat.

23) Well I don't "love" him, but Axl's not a horrible character. Yeah he was insufferable in X7 but so was anyone else, and he got way better in X8 (and Command Mission if we count that). Yeah he's pretty out of place when compared to X and Zero, who have much more chemistry together, especially due to their backstories, but I like his "Michelangelo" schtick of being the funny but still competent guy in a squad of serious business kind of characters.

[ahsoka-in-a-hood]

*pouring myself a glass of wine* so basically-

Just because star wars the franchise tends to focus on the jedi, because it started there, doesn't mean they are the be-and-end-all arbiters of everything force related, and they definitely are not in-universe. There are plenty of force traditions referenced here and there, such as the nightwitches, the Guardians of Whills, the Lasat, that one place Mace and Jar Jar went to, whatever Jynn and her mother had going on,..... just a few we know about

the only other force tradition the jedi have conflict with are the sith. the space nazis, those ones. the ones trying to kill them. Got no problem with any one else on that.

It's not the first time I've seen the idea that "the jedi should have been spreading their teachings across the galaxy" and honestly it weirds me out because sometimes it goes into 'but why aren't they proselytizing? they should proselytize?' territory, which is weird because I instinctively view that as a positive trait.

Yeah it's true, 'jedi-ism' is not a religion of the people. It's just some monks who made it their whole life. Luckily you don't need to do anything jedi for salvation and you don't need jedi-ism in your life to be good or go to heaven /okay that probably crosses a line into religion stuff but. it is interesting how the impetus to help people takes shape in accordance to what you are taught people need.

not that the jedi don't teach. teaching is foundational to them, it's how their society is structured. And while we mostly see them deal with bullshit like wars, we do get the occasional insight into what that's like, with for example Yoda and the clones in tcws1e1 where he teaches them Force Stuff or in one of The Mandalorian episodes where Ahsoka guest lectures on political theory at the academy or *insert any number of instances they are shown offering guidance to the hero of the week*. Most of that teaching is not about how to use the Force! It's usually more directly relevant to the situation tbh.

Ultimately, I do just see the jedi through the lens of a religious minority that was targeted for genocide. We were first introduced to the jedi as a few scattered genocide survivors and one guy connected to them by heritage who decided to keep that tradition alive. That's completely fundamental to how I perceive them and I'm just basically never going to see eye to eye with anyone who's starting point is that you have to break all the eggs to make the perfect omelette. I've been here for two years and my tolerance for any smug satisfaction at the bad murdered elders being erased to make way for the better models has reached the bottom of the barrel. I know they are fictional but also like, fuck that. You can't actually divorce your 'objective' assessment of the culture from their fate within the narrative, especially not it you're just trotting out in-universe imperial propaganda. If you want to play judge and jury of a fictional culture without the stench of fictional genocide, you'll have to find another show.

Somehow, this does not extend to any jedi survivors who are coping with the annihilation of their people, even though they are fictional, unlike the fans. If Ahsoka's got beef, that's fine. She got burned on every side. There's definitely nothing smug about her pov. She's entitled to her opinion. (and let's be honest, there's more than just philosophy at play here.) I say that even though I know Filoni. Mostly because cognitive dissonance has kicked in I guess. (i can watson a doylist line if I want to)

It's not so much that I think every single thing the prequel jedi did was objectively correct all the time at all times, rather that a) people are allowed to have traditions, including ones that don't make sense to you, and b) people don't actually have to be saints to earn the right to exist without genocide so anyway, c) are they objectively correct is not the lens through which I am interested in reading them and d) i forgot what d was but I'll come back to it

It's also not that I think they should never change or adapt. Their world has changed, adaptation is natural, and you can't stop the change anymore than you can stop the suns from burning out. I just get annoyed at how it gets framed sometimes.

but on the question of who and how they train as jedi specifically, that feels particularly cruel somehow, because we watched them change. we watched them adapt. And it was because Yoda and Obi Wan came home and found all their children cut to pieces. Of course they could not raise Luke and Leia as jedi in the traditional way immediately after that, while they were both hunted. They couldn't. That's not... something to be triumphant about, that's heartbreaking.

this latest show comes on the heels of the mandalorian, where we see a force sensitive child being hunted for years on end and used by his hunters for experiments, and on the heels of another show where there is an entire underground railroad for rescuing those children from an empire that means them harm. This danger to force sensitive people, particularly children, is most acute during the imperial era, but still exists before that- think, for example, of Hondo talking of selling Ahsoka because 'young jedi are valuable (particularly the females)', or that one place where they hunted captured young force sensitive children for sport-

the above point combined with: the actual depiction of 'jedi recruitment' actually being primarily parents contacting the temple about their visibly force sensitive children. Ahsoka's whole village saw her tame that tiger. Shmi started lobbying for Anakin's jedi education as soon as she realized who was at her table. Those babies in tcw who were floating their toys and their parents were making up their minds.

Just. All in all, making this about how wrong they were to dedicate 15 years to teach those kids instead of... any adult who showed up at their door? I guess? Just feels off. There's nothing wrong about an adult convert without the midicholorian count. Just the celebration of that concept as the jedi finally learning the error of their ways (through suitable application of genocide, i guess).

look i lost the plot multiple bullet points ago and this is all the result of me looking at blogs that I did not expect to annoy me.

Alright I was fully onboard with the universal force sensitivity discourse about half an hour ago but now it's officially taking a direction I do not entirely like

[ray-ray-writings]

A Hairy Situation-Technoblade

On that note, this is a Techno x GN! reader in the dreamsmp

#282, 291, 343 from this list. Check out my masterlist here

When Wilbur and Tommy leave on an adventure, Techno and Y/N are left alone together. Y/N “helps” Techno in his potato farm and offers to braid his hair. Tensions rise as more and more time passes. 

“What do you mean you’re going on a multiple day journey into the nether?” I all but shouted at Tommy and Wilbur. The two brothers looked at each other before turning back to me with raised eyebrows. “We mean exactly what we said. We need blaze rods and we have to find a different nether fortress than the one everyone else uses, you know, because we were banished.” Wilbur explained as if it should be obvious. I let a pout take over my lips, “Well how come I can’t come with you?” The two brothers gave me a deadpan stare. “Because you’re terrified of hostile mobs,” Tommy deadpanned. “Well it’s not my fault they’re scary and always trying to kill me…” I trailed off. “Can you at least take Techno with you? I don’t want to be stuck here in the ravine with him for days on end.” “Believe me sweetheart, I’m not too stoked about it either.” 

The new voice that came from behind me caused me to jump in surprise, “But I’m needed here. My potatoes will be ready soon, I need some more materials, and someone has to watch over you and make sure you don’t die.” Techno listed. I let out an offended gasp and turned my complete attention to the pigman. “How dare you. I am a complete, functional, grown adult. I do not need a babysitter! I can take care of myself.” The three brothers all just stared at me, not amused. I let out a sigh, “You call for help because you get startled by a zombie one time and they never let you live it down.” I mumbled to myself. “Y/N it’s been more than one time. It’s once a day.” Wilbur stated carefully. 

I sighed in annoyance, but also knew he was right, “Okay fine. Whatever. When are you guys leaving?” I questioned, turning my attention back to Wilbur and Tommy. Wilbur checked his sundial before answering. “Now. It’s late evening now and I’d like to get out of here before nightfalls. You know, mobs and whatever.” I hummed and nodded at his response. “You have everything you need?” I asked, looking over the two. Wilbur gave me a soft smile before nodding. “We have everything. Food, armor, building blocks, compass. We’ve got it all mom” He teased. I playfully rolled my eyes at his words, “Okay son. Give me a hug and get going then.” I teased, holding my arms out to the tall man. 

Wilbur let out a laugh, but complied, wrapping his arms around me and squeezing me tight. He let go and moved to Techno and gave him a short hug. While he did that I turned my attention to Tommy, “You too boy,” I giggled, extending my arms and slowly walking toward him. Tommy scoffed and rolled his eyes but also complied. I squeezed the boy tightly to my chest before letting him go. He then also moved onto Techno, giving his other brother a small hug. After hugs, the four of us walked over to the nether portal and Wilbur and Tommy stepped into it. “Be careful” I called out. “We will!” Wilbur responded. And then they were gone. 

I sighed at the disappearance of the boys. “They’ll be okay,” Techno reassured me, reading my mind. I turned around and gave the pink haired man a tight lipped smile, “I know I just worry.” I admitted, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. Techno hummed in response. “Do you want to come help me in my potato farm to get your mind off of it for a little bit?” Techno being nice to me? More likely than you think. Nonetheless, I agreed, “Yeah. I’d like that. Thanks Techno.” 

*Time skip*

Me helping in Techno’s potato farm actually only boiled down to Techno doing all of the work, harvesting and planting, and me sitting on top of a chest just hanging out and chatting with him. I watched as the pink haired man’s face got more and more covered in not only sweat, but dirt. Every once in a while, Techno would blow out a breath of air, trying desperately to move his long pink hair out of his face and when that didn’t work, he would bring his dirty hand up to his face to move the hair manually. In doing so, he transferred that dirt from his hand onto his face. After watching him do this for a solid hour, I finally let the question slip off of my tongue. 

“Hey, do you want me to braid your hair.” Techno’s head snapped up from the ground and turned to me, “What?” He questioned. I cleared my throat as my cheeks flushed at the sudden attention, “Nevermind. It was stupid. You obviously-” “What did you say?” Techno questioned again, cutting off my self-deprecating rant. I cleared my throat once more, “I asked if I could braid your hair. Your hair seems to keep falling in your face and it would be easier to work if it was tied back. So I was wondering if you wanted me to braid it for you.” I stated shyly. 

Techno stared at me for a few moments, but then he let out a laugh and set his hoe down. “You know what. That’s not actually a bad idea. I would like that actually.” My eyes widened in shock as the man walked toward me. “Oh!” I squeeked, “Okay! Well here!” I said, standing up from the chest, patting the spot where I was sitting. “Sit here and I’ll get started!” I announced. 

Techno complied and followed my orders. I moved so that I was standing behind him. I hesitantly brought my hand up and rested it on Techno’s pink head. I slowly ran my fingers through his hair, detangling it from it’s knots. Techno let out a sigh in contentment as my fingers massaged his scalp. I carefully separated his hair into separate strains and began the braid. 

We sat in a comfortable silence as I worked. Techno was surprisingly complacent as I twisted his hair the way I wanted. I had decided to go with a french braid as it was simple, effective and would hold for a long time. “There,” I let out softly as I secured the end of the braid with an extra hair tie of mine, “all done.” I informed. Techno stood from the chest and turned around to face me. Techno brought a hand up to the back of his head and felt down the braid. A small smile appeared on the pink-haired man’s face. I was taken back. Techno looked good. Really good. I usually don’t get to see him without his hair covering his face. And I almost never get to see him smile, you know cause he hates me sometimes.But now, because of the braid. I could see him clearly and he was handsome. 

“Thank you for this.” Techno said sincerely, breaking me out of . I gave the man a shy smile, cheeks now flushing, “It’s no problem,” I told him with a half shrug. Techno turned back to his field and continued his work. I sat back down on the chest and allowed my eyes to focus on the pink haired man once more. Do I like Techno? My heart sure seems to think so. How could my brain not notice this before? As I thought it over, my heart pounded harder. I liked Technoblade. All the teasing and poking fun at the pink haired man was my sad attempt at hiding and burying those feelings deep down. 

“You okay over there?” Techno questioned, breaking me out of my trance. My eyes focused on his really handsome face, “Oh yeah. Just thinking,” I admitted. Techo hummed, leaning against his hoe. “Whatcha thinking about?” “You look really cute covered in dirt.” I blurted out. I slapped my hand over my mouth. “I cannot believe I just said that,” I mumbled into my hand. I looked up and met Techno’s wide eyes. He then proceeded to clear his throat and laugh, “The way you flirt is shameful. Telling someone they look good covered in dirt? Kind of cringe.” “I just rarely ever see your whole face because it’s usually your hair’s covering it. You’re just very handsome.” I admitted, cheeks now flushing a deep red. Techno’s cheeks were now also flushing a deep red. “Oh, well… Thank you.” “Anytime. I think you’re pretty cool and you deserve to be complimented.” 

Oh gosh. Why did I make that comment? We fell into a tense silence. After a few minutes, I let out a huge yawn. “I think I’m going to head to bed now… Don’t stay up too late, okay?” I told him, standing up from the chest. Techno didn’t look at me but hummed in acknowledgement. I turned and started out of the farm room, but then I paused at the door and turned back, “Goodnight Techno” I wished the man softly. Techno slowly looked up and over at me and gave me a soft smile making my heart flutter, “Goodnight Y/N. Sweet dreams.” He murmured. “Thanks.” I responded before turning and completely walking out of the room. 

I sighed and rubbed my face as I made my way to my makeshift room. I really hope that my words didn’t just mess everything up between us. I let out a yawn as I laid down on my bed. I’ll just deal with it in the morning. 

*Time skip. The next day*

I groaned as I rolled out of bed the next morning. I yawned as I made my way out of my room. I was greeted with the pink haired man sitting at the oak table that I had built for our little base reading a book. “Good morning” I greeted the man softly, turning toward our food chest and pulling out a little something for breakfast. “Morning” Techno greeted gruffly, glancing up at me. As I looked over at him, I realized the dirt from his face was gone, but the braid in his hair remained intact. For some reason, my heart fluttered. 

I quickly turned my attention back to what I was doing.“Do you want anything for breakfast?” I asked, looking over the things in our food chest. “Uh, I’ll have whatever you’re having. Thanks” He said, before turning his attention back to his book. I pulled out a few eggs and two steaks. I made quick work of making breakfast. 

“Here you go.” I set the plate of breakfast in front of the PVP God with a small smile. “Thank you,” Techno hummed, setting his book down and turning to his breakfast. I sat down across from him and began to enjoy my own breakfast. 

We sat in a comfortable silence as we ate. Towards the end of our meal, Techno cleared his throat, causing me to look up. “Hey, can I ask you a question?” Techno asked nervously. I quirked a brow at his words, “You just did. But if you want to ask another, go ahead” I teased. Techno’s face matched his hair as it turned a light shade of pink. Techno cleared his throat once more, “Okay. Well I was wondering…. Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?” Techno questioned. It was now my face’s turn to turn pink. “It’s okay if you didn’t. I know that sometimes we tease each other and if that was what that was it’s okay. I just wasn’t sure and-” 

“Techno” I called, interrupting the pig man’s words. “I meant them. Everything I said to you yesterday. I meant it. I think you’re really cool and funny and handsome and I really really like you.” I admitted, not looking at the man sitting across from me, “I didn’t mean to blurt them out like that yesterday though. I was just so caught up in looking at you that I realized everything all at once and I just blurted them out. If you don’t like me back, that’s okay. We can just pretend like-” “-Y/N-” “-nothing ever happened and we can go-” “Y/N!” “-back to normal and-” 

Something covered my lips, cutting off my words. I then realized it was Techno’s lips that covered my own. My eyes widened in surprise, but then immediately fluttered closed as I relaxed into the kiss. A hesitant hand reached up and cupped my cheek, pulling me even closer. All too soon, Techno pulled away from the kiss, but remained rather close, his hand still resting on my cheek. “I like you Y/N, I have for a while” Techno admitted softly. My lips curled up into a grin. “Well you’re in luck Mr. Blood God, because I like you too.” I told him with a proud grin. Techo rolled his eyes but let out a laugh, “I know you goof. You told me as you were rambling and then refused to let me get in a word.” Techno teased. I laughed at his words, “Well I’m sorry I don’t handle rejection well. And therefore didn’t let you get in a word so you couldn’t reject me.” I rambled out. Techno laughed, “That’s big brain,” “The biggest” 

The two of us stared at each other for a while, just smiling. Techno let his hand fall off my cheek and leaned back a little bit. “Y/N?” He asked. “Techno?” I responded. “Do you want to be my partner?” I grinned at his question, “That depends. Do you want to be my partner?” I questioned. Techno rolled his eyes but quickly leaned forward and pressed another kiss to my lips. “I think you know the answer to that” I grinned and pressed a quick kiss to his lips, “I think I do.” 

Our conversation was cut off by the sound of the nether portal activating. Techno and I exchanged confused looks. The two of us stood up and rushed toward the obsidian structure. Wilbur and Tommy stumbled out of the portal. “Hey guys!” Tommy greeted with a huge smile and wave. “Hey! Why are you guys back so soon?” I questioned, rushing forward and pulling the two boys into a tight hug. “Turns out,” Wilbur began after I let the two go, “There’s a nether fortress less than 1500 blocks away from our portal. And we made sure it is not the same one everyone else uses.” Wilbur explained. I nodded my head at his words. 

“That’s so lucky,” Techno said, drawing the attention to him. “What happened to your hair?” Tommy blurted out. Techno immediately brought a hand up to his head. “Oh, Y/N braided it.” Tommy’s head whipped to me, “You braided his hair?!” Tommy yelled. I furrowed my brow as his question, “Obviously. He just told you that” I stated. Wilbur and Tommy stared in disbelief. “What?” I asked, a little self-conscious. “Techno never lets anyone touch his hair.” Wilbur said softly. 

My head whipped to Techno whose face was now red. “What? Then why’d you let me braid your hair?” Techno gave me a half-shrug. “What can I say? I’m a simp” the pink haired man admitted. Laughter burst out of my mouth. I cannot believe he actually said that. My laughter must have been contagious because the three brothers also began to laugh. “Techno!” I whined, walking up to him. Techno, still laughing, wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to his chest, “It’s true!” He defended himself, laughter dying down.

 “Woah! Woah! Woah! When did this happen?” Tommy questioned. The two of us looked back at Wilbur and Tommy, “Ummm. Literally two seconds before you guys came home.” I told them, stepping back from my partner. “Well in that case. Tommy and I are going to go put away the blaze rods and then we’re probably going to nap.” Wilbur said, yawning at the end of the sentence. The two of us nodded in acknowledgement as the two of them walked further into the ravine. 

“Well… What do you want to do now?” I questioned my new boyfriend. Techno gave me a smile before wrapping me in another hug. “You wanna come help me in my potato farm again?” I giggled and nodded, “I would love nothing more”

There you go! I hope you enjoyed! If so, be sure to leave a like or a reblog or a reply!!

[plus-size-reader]

One Date

Tommy Milner x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2113 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Tommy asks that reader out but she refuses because she’s sure he’s pranking her

—————————————————————————————————

You knew he was lying.

He had to be lying.

In all your life, you never imagined Tommy Milner showing any interest in you at all, and you had known him almost that long. You went to school together, his older sister used to babysit you, and your dad even got all your eggs from his family's farm.

There was no way you couldn’t have known him.

You had lived in Mill Valley all your life, and that was just the sort of thing that came along with living in such a small town. Everyone knew everyone, and there was no getting away from that.

Knowing about Tommy though was hardly the problem.

Your current problem was that while you were minding your own business at your locker, Tommy approached you. It may not have seemed that strange at first but the context made it weird.

Tommy Milner never talked to you.

Aside from cruel jokes made at your expense by his friends on the football team or asking you to scoot over in the auditorium, you weren’t even sure that he knew your name.

...But here he was, all the same.

It didn’t make any sense to you, but you did your best to keep your uncertainty covered up with a slight nod in acknowledgment.

That was all you did, all you managed to do, before he blurted out what he’d been thinking about this whole time as if it was no big deal.

“Do you wanna go out with me?”

That was it.

Just like that, those words were hanging in the air all around you and frankly, you weren’t sure how to react. You considered pretending that you didn’t hear him, or moving to another city and changing your name.

Anything would be better than making a total fool out of yourself like you were bound to now.

You couldn’t win.

You wanted to assume that he wasn’t talking to you, because that would be easier but even that was complicated.

If you reacted like he didn’t say it and he meant it, he would feel bad but if you responded like he did say it and it wasn’t meant for you, that would be even more humiliating.

It had to be a joke.

So, the best thing you could do was try and play it cool.

In fact, it wasn’t until he repeated himself that you glanced away from the inside of your locker.

Part of you was sort of hoping he would just go away, and leave you be. However, it would seem that you wouldn’t be so lucky.

Clearly, he wasn’t going to go anywhere. You would have to do something, and the more you stood here, the more awkward it would be.

You immediately regretted looking at him, because it made it much too real.

He was serious about this whole thing.

“You’re talking to me?” you clarified, feeling sort of silly over it but you couldn’t help it. You had never really spoken to him in your life, and you weren’t sure where this was coming from.

You just couldn’t make this whole thing make any sense.

“Yeah, I am” Tommy allowed, acting like that would do anything to clear up the situation you were currently in. Those three words didn’t do anything to clear up this thing, or make you feel any better.

If anything, all it did was leave you that much more confused.

“You want to go out with me?” you repeated, still wishing that he wouldn’t have started this in the first place. This was exhausting, and you were sure that nothing good was going to come from this.

It just felt like a huge mistake, and you didn’t even understand what exactly was going on right now.

“Yeah, that’s kind of what that means” he sighed, really surprised you two were still talking about it. Usually when he asked out a girl, they didn’t waste any time in making sure to say yes.

This had never happened to him before.

Though, to be fair, this had never happened to you before either.

The guys in this town didn’t have any interest in you. You didn’t feel like you had anything to offer them, and honestly, even if they did want to go out with you, there was no chance you’d say yes.

You didn’t want a cheap fling with some high school boy that didn’t actually care about you. You knew what you deserved, and what you deserved was more than some cheap make out or even worse.

What if this really was nothing more than a joke to him?

What if everyone in school was in on this and if you agreed to the date, it would be a Carrie White situation? You couldn’t possibly handle the embarrassment that would cause.

You would never be able to set foot in this school again after something like that.

“I don’t think so” you decided, after far too many moments of silence between the two of you as Tommy waited desperately for you to say something.

This was all so foreign for him, a man who never heard the word no.

A man who couldn’t figure out what was going on right now. He’d had his eye on you for days now, trying to figure out what the best way would be to get you to go out with him.

...And now, you were just going to turn him down.

It was hardly where he saw this conversation going.

“What do you mean? You don’t want to go out with me?” he asked, not even bothering to pick his jaw up from the floor. Tommy was lost, another thing that didn’t seem to be new for him.

You didn’t know one another that well, and he’d just come out of nowhere with an offer you had no idea what to do with. This wasn’t someone you were comfortable with or had any sort of relationship with.

You and Tommy might as well have been strangers.

“It’s not very nice to play with people’s feelings as a joke” you grumbled, gathering everything you needed from your locker and slamming it aggressively as you tried to walk away.

This would just be better for you. Making a fool out of yourself because of blind optimism would surely blow up in your face and you weren’t looking to be humiliated today.

That could wait for another day.

Unfortunately though, once again, Tommy seemed to have another thing in mind.

When he asked you to go out with him, he did it because he wanted you to say yes. If he wanted anything other than that, he would have asked for that instead.

Obviously, you’d gotten the wrong idea.

“Wait, what do you mean?” he sputtered, doing his best to follow you down the hallway without looking like an absolute idiot. It was clear to you that he had no real clue what was going on, but you didn’t care.

You knew what kind of person he was.

A guy like Tommy Milner only went out with girls like Ruthy Steinberg, girls that were prim and perfect, and put together all the time. You weren’t like that, and frankly, you weren’t even sure that she was.

In any case, Tommy couldn’t handle the woman that you were.

You weren’t going to lie to him in order to make him feel better and you certainly weren’t going to let him string you along for some stupid joke so that his friends could get a good laugh.

You were better than that.

“I know what you’re doing, and it's cruel” you repeated, not bothering to stop as he followed you, keeping a pretty good time as quick as you were walking to get away from him.

You weren’t going to explain basic human decency to him, and you weren’t about to try and get him to see you as a real person, an equal to him. You knew that something like that would never work.

His world only went as far as him.

“All I did was ask you out” he sighed, not putting the pieces together as well as you wished he would.

Normally, you would have rolled your eyes and told him to go to hell but when you took a second to look at him again, you saw something else there on his face.

He really didn’t know.

Tommy didn’t see the clear issue something like this would cause in such a small, gossipy town.

In his mind, this really was just what it looked like.

He liked you and when he liked someone, the natural progression was to do something about it. It didn’t make sense to him that you were making such a big deal out of this because it wasn’t.

It was what people did.

“I know, but it's much more complicated than that and you know it” you countered, gesturing slightly with a nod of your head over to the end of the hallway where his friends were all gathered, gawking at the two of you.

You could only imagine what they would have to say once they found out about this.

Assuming that you’d been wrong about Tommy and he meant well, that didn’t mean that all those chuckleheads would. Some of those jerks had been tormenting you since middle school and this would be nothing more than fuel for them.

You would never hear the end of it, and neither would Tommy.

That was your point.

You could guarantee that he hadn’t thought about what kinds of consequences this would have in his very secluded social life. His people would never let you in like they had all of his other girls in the past.

Nothing was going to be the same if he actually did this.

Tommy followed your gaze to the football players, all hooting and hollering to themselves as they watched the two of you walk together.

“You’re worried about them?” he hummed, his focus once again falling on you and ignoring all of the other attention on you both. Unlike you, he was accustomed to their dumb shit and stupid antics.

Ignoring them was what he did best.

“Yeah, I am”

The words left your lips as little more than a whisper, something you were hoping he hadn’t heard at all, but you wouldn’t be so lucky.

Tommy had put too much into this to just let you go so easily.

“I think we could have fun, we could go to the drive-in or something?” he suggested, ignoring the obvious upset that you’d been in earlier. He was sure that if you gave him a shot, he could prove he wasn’t so bad.

He wasn’t giving up.

“I don’t get why this is so important to you” you groaned, finally halting your movements entirely so that he would stop following you.

He was going to make you explain this to him, no matter what you wanted.

“Because, I think you’re really cool and I figured we could get to know each other a little better” he explained, his answer much more mature and decent than what you’d been expecting.

There wasn’t anything blatantly sexual or degrading about his answer.

Maybe he was right.

The two of you didn’t run in the same social circles and you barely knew one another outside of basic school functions but perhaps there was something there that you just couldn’t see yet.

Tommy may actually surprise you.

All you had to do was let him try.

“One movie, if you hate it, I’ll leave you alone” he promised, changing his approach in hopes that would make you agree. A single night wouldn’t kill you and after that, if you really weren’t into it, he would give up.

All he wanted was a chance.

...and he had a point.

A single night at the drive in with Tommy Milner couldn’t possibly be the end of the world.

“One date, just one” you sighed, not missing the small sparkle in his eyes when he finally realized what you meant before you turned away completely. You may have regretted this at some point, but giving him a chance was the least you could do.

If you rejected him based on an idea, you were no better than all the guys around here that didn’t want anything to do with you because of who they thought you were.

It wasn’t going to kill you.

You just had to remember that, and if anything else came out of it, you would owe him an apology.

Until then, all you owed him was one date.

[heyhihellowhatsup0]

Hooked On Your Feelings - Chapter Two (FWB! Tom Holland x Reader)

SERIES MASTERLIST

Warnings: Some angst, language, eventual smut in future chapters, fluff

Word Count: 5255

Summary: After a bad breakup, making an agreement with your womanizing neighbor, Tom to be friends with added benefits and no strings attached seemed like the perfect idea. Until things become messy, emotions caused your agreement to crumble.

A/N:  I am HYPE to post this new chapter! Omg I just love writing this series so much its so fun writing Tom like this lol. Also low key...this chapter has an easter egg to a pervious series of mine and I’m v curious if anyone catches it but probably not because its superrr tiny but either way I hope you guys like this one! Obviously, smut is in this chapter! DM me to be tagged and I cannot wait to hear everyone’s thoughts! (Also .gif is not mine. DM me for credit please, I found on google!) Thank you xx -N

“What happened to that girl you took home the other night from The Lace Rabbit?” Harrison asked as he ordered his lunch before he took a seat at the table with Tom. It was typical for them to meet up during the week on their lunch breaks and catch up when they were not busy being wingmen for the other while bar hopping on the weekends. 

Tom shrugged off Harrison’s question as he took a bite of his sandwich, “She got a little clingy so I had Y/N help me get rid of her,” he smiled as he said your name out loud. His friends knew of you as the hot girl who lived next door who bailed him out of sticky situations. Always teasing Tom how he could never actually get you. The irony made it all too funny for him, “How’d it go with that blonde girl?” he asked to change the subject off of him.

He didn’t know if he should bring up the two of you sleeping together with Harrison. Harrison was his best friend and wouldn’t judge but he knew he’d give Tom shit for it. He’d want to know details of your arrangement or how it came about, if you were really that good and Tom didn’t feel comfortable answering that. Not if it was about you. He didn’t want his other friends knowing about you in the way he did. That was personal between you both and he wanted to show you he respected you.

“It didn’t,” Harrison admitted while taking a sip of his water. He let out a chuckle as he felt himself blushing, “Forgot her name and she spilt her drink on me. Can’t say I didn’t deserve that one,” he at least knew when he was in the wrong.

Tom cringed into his sandwich as he let out a cackle, “You definitely deserved it, mate,” he laughed with another bite. His phone vibrated in his pocket but he chose to ignore it, knowing like clock work what it probably was. It was going to ruin the rest of his day and he at least wanted to enjoy lunch with his friend before getting pissed off for the day.

“She’d probably love you,” Harrison teased. 

“Fuck off,” Tom rolled his eyes with a laugh. “I’m not taking your angry seconds.”

“Don’t knock angry sex til you try it,” Harrison smirked knowingly. 

Tom shook his head as he once again ignored the phone ringing, “I think I’m good, thanks,” he brushed it off with another eyeroll. 

He didn’t know why he suddenly felt weird talking about their last venture out at the club. Maybe it was because Tom knew where he ended up after that girl had left and he knew what that meant for the both of you. But Tom wasn’t done with his bachelor days, and even you knew that. Hell, you practically insisted since this was a no strings attached deal.

It just felt strange not telling Harrison about you. Like it was a weird secret. But at the same time, he felt oddly protective of you. Not wanting his friends to see you as some girl he was getting laid with. Or worse, a potential love interest. He knew it wasn’t going to happen. Hell would be freezing over before Tom decided on any sort of long term obligation. But he knew his friends and he knew they wouldn’t see this is a simple agreement between two friends. And he didn’t want to deal with that conversation.

Staying quiet was the better option. For his own sanity. And...well, would you care if he told anyone about this? Tom figured that was another rule he’d have to ask about. He didn’t want to overstep any boundaries and he knew you had a list of rules as well that he was happy to follow. As long as that meant one thing and one thing only: non-exclusive.

Harrison noticed Tom’s phone buzzing for the third time. And Tom ignored it for the third time. He checked the message with a huff of his breath before turning the screen face down on the table, going back to his lunch before he had to get back to work.

“Clingy girl?” Harrison nodded towards Tom’s phone. 

Tom shook his head, “My mother was supposed to visit this weekend but you know the routine,” he mumbled into his food, not even wanting to respond to her.

“Let me guess,” Harrison began, knowing exactly where this was going since he knew Tom’s whole story inside and out. Including the bits he hated to discuss which was mainly his family, “Going skiing with Clint in Veil instead?” he questioned knowingly.

Tom scoffed out a laugh at his guess, “Surfing with Clint in Malibu but same shit,” he corrected as he tried not to let it get to him. But even Harrison could tell he was getting bothered by it once again and who could honestly blame him.

 Always the same story every time no matter what and Tom grew tired of her antics. He couldn’t even blame Clint for it anymore considering she’d been this way since he was a kid before he was even in the picture. Only now she would just use him as the perfect excuse to get out of coming to visit.

He knew he shouldn’t care anymore but he couldn’t help it. It wasn’t something easy for him to simply let go of. It was his mother. And no matter how many times he’d try she would always give him back the bare minimum and it always made him upset. She was his one final connection to him and she could care less about any of it, so why did Tom? It always got under his skin and he loathed that it did.

But he would still invite her. No matter how miserable it made him.

“Well at least now you’re free this weekend,” Harrison broke his thought while he gathered their garbage before they headed back to work, “The usual at The Lace Rabbit this Saturday then?” he suggested with a knowing smile to try and get Tom out of his mood.

Grabbing his phone, Tom clutched it tightly as he inhaled sharply. Knowing his change of plans meant doing his normal routine even though he was looking forward to the slight change this weekend, which now just seemed bleak to him

.

“Yeah,” Tom agreed as he tapped your name on his phone but hesitated when he saw his mother trying to call for a fourth time, “The usual this weekend.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your chest tensed as you got into your car after your extremely long day in the office. Everything around you felt heavy and you couldn’t wait to get home as soon as you could but you found yourself still frozen in your car. Unable to move as the moments from earlier this afternoon invaded your thoughts once again while you tried your best to move in. Even though you knew you were completely grief stricken and didn’t know what the hell to do.

The promotion was yours, at least you had thought it was by the way your boss would constantly hint at it. You knew it was never a definite thing, but you were confident in the hard work you had put into your job and knew you were a top contender for the spot. You worked longer hours, took on extra tasks, you even worked on the occasional weekend to get your work done. Taking every precaution necessary to prove that you were the best fit for the role.

Everything felt like it was lining up for you. Co-workers were giving you a pat on the back for your work accomplishments, your boss was taking note of everything you were doing, and you overall felt really good about where you stood for the potential position. So imagine your surprise when you attended the big luncheon and your boss announced his undeserving son was getting the spot instead of you.

It was both nepotism and misogyny rolled into one and it made your stomach turn the longer you had thought about it. None of it made any sense and it was far from fair. You knew you were the one more deserving of the position, the whole office knew it. Even your damn boss knew but he chose his damn son over you and it felt like a stab right to your gut.

You felt so betrayed and beside yourself as you finally decided to head home. Tears streamed down your cheeks while you tried to focus on the road but you just couldn’t ignore the facts. How were you going to be able to show up and take orders now from your boss’ son? You knew the job more than he did and it felt like a huge screw you.

On your drive home, you tried to make yourself feel better by putting on some music to distract yourself but nothing helped. You felt beyond defeated and frustrated right now you didn’t know what was going to make you feel better at the moment. It felt like the world was against you. Between finding Justin with another woman and your job, you were really batting one thousand lately and you weren’t sure when you would catch a break.

Things were not going how you planned at all. The thought of just quitting your job and starting all over again crossed your mind but the fear of the unknown kept haunting you. You didn’t know which direction to go in or who to turn to for advice anymore. You were slowly drowning and you needed someone to throw you a goddamn life jacket already.

You were relieved to finally be home. Maybe some peace and quiet would make you feel a little better, you thought to yourself while you kicked your shoes off and turned some music on for yourself. Trying to put the day behind you and focus on the present moment while you got changed into more comfortable clothes to unwind.

You jumped out of your skin when you heard a knock at your door, not expecting anybody to come by right now. Pulling your hair up into a bun, you headed back towards the door and looked through the peephole. To your surprise, you weren’t really surprised at all. You were actually sort of relieved when you opened the door and saw Tom standing there holding a pizza box.

“That better have extra cheese,” you asked with a narrowed expression while you invited him inside with the pizza that he would always bring you even in normal times. 

Placing the box on the kitchen table, Tom opened it with a grin as he showed you the pizza pie with cheese practically oozing from the crusts, “Figured it was an extra toppings sort of day,” he admitted, knowing he really needed the escape from reality. Even if it was just a pizza.

“Tell me about it,” you sighed as you grabbed a piece closest to you as Tom handed you a paper plate. You headed over towards your refrigerator to grab you both a few beers while Tom leaned up against your kitchen counter as he devoured his slice, “I’m guessing you had a bad day judging by your pizza presentation?” knowing there wasn’t really any particular reason he’d be coming over with it today. Unless if he wanted something?

You slowed your pace back from the fridge wondering if he was going to pick up on how you were feeling. You weren’t entirely sure if you wanted him to notice. Whenever you and Tom had a pizza night it was merely to gossip about your lunatic neighbors or watch a game together. You talked about casual things but never really gone into depth or prying into each other’s lives. Why did it feel like suddenly you wanted something different? Would sex change that much in your friendship?

“We can just ignore that...we don’t have to talk about unimportant stuff,” you waved it off. Tom didn’t need to hear about your miserable day. And you didn’t want to pry into his. 

He swallowed the last bite of his slice, “If something makes you upset, it’s not unimportant,” he noted. But when he noticed you just looking at him, he raised his hands in surrender. “Ignore my philosophical ass. But I’d like to hear about your day, you know,” he laughed it off. 

What the hell was he doing? He thought to himself. Don’t let personal shit ruin this. Enjoy her company. That’s it. 

“I didn’t get the promotion,” you told him. You had mentioned to Tom a while ago that your boss was hinting at it but you never went into detail with him about it. You weren’t used to Tom actually wanting to be open or the other way around. And you’d be lying if you said you weren’t slightly surprised Tom even gave a crap about stuff like this. 

Tom frowned at your answer and he felt his heart sink a bit when you told him the truth about your bad day. He didn’t know much about your job but he was sure you were a hard worker. He saw how much you loved your job and how passionate you were about it when it would come up. You would share upcoming projects with him from time to time and he would see the look on your face whenever you explained them to him. So hearing that you were passed by for a promotion was upsetting to him.

“I...shit, Y/N,” he put his pizza down as he walked over towards to give you a hug. Sliding his hands around your waist he pulled you into him as he felt you relax against his chest, “You didn’t deserve that,” he added softly.

You allowed Tom to embrace you, his warmness comforting you a bit before you pulled away and started crying when telling him about your boss’ son getting the job instead of you. Making you laugh by calling him every name in the book, you and Tom finally found a common ground as you kept venting to him.

Tom pulled away slowly, his hand resting at your chin while he licked his lips, “You’re boss sounds like a fucking prick, I hope you know that,” he told you reassuringly. The small smile you formed when he spoke made him want to keep making you feel better, “I’m glad you’re smiling,” he blushed at his confession.

Stretching your mouth wider, you flashed Tom a playful yet overly wide grin to deflect the attention he gave to you. The two of you laughed as Tom pulled away with a loud chuckle, shaking his head at your sudden silliness, “That has to be the most hideous smile. But we’ll work on it,” he told you through his laughter.

You rolled your eyes before going back to your pizza, giving Tom a look as you nudged him, “Not gonna tell me about what happened to you?” you finally asked.

Tom tensed as he tried to brush it off with a simple shrug into his pizza. The thought of his mother’s texts and ridiculous apologies and excuses continued to drive him crazy as he mumbled into his bite, “It’s stupid shit,” he told you as he swallowed the crust he was chewing, “Mom stuff, not important,” he added bluntly.

You could see the look on his face and could tell it was important to him but you didn’t want to force him to talk about it. Tom was never one to bring up his family ever to you and that was the first time you had ever heard him even mention his mother. He never spoke of his father, at least to you, so you just assumed both were out of his life for whatever reason and it was none of your business to ask.

 And Tom refused to admit it but he wanted you to ask about him. Spending hours upon hours at bars, turning his focus always onto the girl; because he knew no girl would ever want to go home with a self righteous, egotistical guy. It was never something Tom minded to do, especially with complete strangers who he would never open up to in a million years. It might have been the recent development he had with you but there was something refreshing he felt around you and as much as it freaked him out, he didn’t seem to mind.

But diving into his mommy issues with you now seemed too much to deal with right now. You were dealing with more than enough problems with your job and your miserable ex-boyfriend, he figured you didn’t need to hear his bitching right now anyway. He came here to get away from those shitty thoughts, not open those wounds further. 

Tom came here for a distraction.

Licking his lips, Tom perked up as he looked at you fervidly, “Wanna have sex?” he asked matter of factly. He figured he didn’t need to beat around the bush since you had your arrangement but maybe he was a bit too direct with his request. Tom cleared his throat as he tried to save the night, “I-I mean, I just figured since we both had shitty days that maybe we could uhm-”

“Thought you’d never ask,” you cut him off with a smirk and you perked up as well, nodding as you smoothed out your hair. Standing back up as you turned your back towards him, removing your shirt in the process, “Let’s go,” you called over your shoulder as you headed towards your room.

“Oh, we’re jumping right in,” Tom mumbled to himself as he practically fell off his chair to follow you into your room, tossing his shirt beside yours as he practically froze already seeing you completely undressed, “Christ…” he breathed out while taking you in. 

You rolled your eyes as you walked over to him, bringing your lips to his now bare shoulder, “You’re really acting like you haven’t seen me like this the other day?” You laughed against his skin while you began to suck a bruise against him, hearing him let out a gasp while your hand snaked into his pants sneakily, “Beginning to really like this whole friends with benefits thing we have,” you laughed as you found Tom’s lips.

Practically growling into your kiss, Tom lifted you up and lowered you onto your back on your bed. His lips traveled from yours, to your stomach, dipping his tongue into your belly button as you moaned quietly before he brought himself down between your thighs. His lips peppering your inner thigh before he got straight to the point because this whole arrangement meant no foreplay. Another plus for Tom.

“Darling, I think you may be the best friend I’ve ever had,” Tom breathed out a laugh as he pressed his tongue flatly against your clit. Sliding two of his fingers into your core while he slowly pumped in and out of you, “This is what got me through my day today,” he told you before he brought his mouth back to your core.

You arched your back while your fingers went towards Tom’s curls. His name began to fall from your lips while he lapped his tongue carefully, letting it slip inside of you as he continued to tease you with his mouth. His fingers sliding into you again, adding a third as he moaned against your center; allowing the vibrations to roll throughout your entire body.

“Mmm, oh, fuck...!” you cried out, yanking gently against Tom’s hair as you felt the coil beginning to burn from inside of you. Biting your lip to stifle another moan, “Fuck...yo-you’re really good at that,” you breathed out with a small laugh which turned into a whimper.

With his head peering up at you, Tom flashed you a cocky smile with a playful wink as he licked your folds teasingly, “Did you seriously doubt my abilities to make you cum with my mouth, Y/N?” he raised his eyebrow while pumping his fingers now tantalizingly slow, “You’re gonna pay for that comment,” he said to you.

“Just...shut up and make me cum, Tom,” you told him through another gasp as you felt his teeth drag teasingly against your already throbbing bud. His lips wrapped around it as he sucked more harshly, doing exactly as you had asked him to do, “Ungh...oh god, okay. Yeah, keep doing that,” you instructed as you began to grind your hips against his mouth.

Tom took it as a challenge and picked up his pace, beginning to flick your clit faster while he continuously sucked on it. His three fingers now entirely coated in your warmth as he felt you clenching around them. His pants feeling tighter from his hard on while he knelt at the end of your bed trying to bring you to where he wanted.

His free hand splayed against your stomach, holding you in place while he felt you trying to squirm around from the way he was making you feel. Rubbing your clit in between his breaths, Tom looked up at you as he licked a solid stripe down your center, “Let out how you’re feeling from today and cum for me, Y/N,” Tom commanded. 

Your eyes shut as you did exactly what Tom had suggested. Completely coming undone from beneath him while you released as much of the tension from earlier as you possibly could but in the most amazing way. Your eyes rolled back into your head while your back arched as Tom’s tongue continued to work you up while you were at your highest point.

Letting out a breathy laugh as you started to come down from it, feeling Tom begin to kiss his way back up your stomach with a smug look, “Don’t give me that look,” you rolled your eyes at his cockiness as his tongue traced along your neck, “I could do what you just did to myself, you know,” you tried to knock him off his high horse a bit while he pretended to be wounded from your words.

“Ah, but you didn’t. Did you?” Tom reminded you as his lips found yours. His hands still in between your thighs as he brought them between you both, showing you his coated fingers while he tasted you off of them, “Tastes like I made you cum because you wanted me to,” his smugness only elevated as he pushed himself off of you as he laid on his back on your bed.

“Need I remind you that you came to my place like a porno with a pizza looking to get laid,” you retaliated as you shifted so you were now hovering over him. Your hands guiding towards his belt buckle to get him out of his restraintive pants. The pleading look on his face made you just as smug, “Sounds like you want me to do just about the same thing, am I right or am I right?” you sang in his ear.

Tom helped you get the rest of his pants and boxers off, feeling himself spring out as he stared back at you with uncertainty, “Did you...just call me a porn star?” he questioned as the two of you let out a laugh.

“You wish, Tommy,” you teased as you ran your tongue down his abs, placing small and open kisses against his stomach as you made your way down to his legs while your hand carefully gripped his hardened length, your thumb running the pre-cum around his tip while you already heard him gasping for you.

Gripping your bedsheets with one hand, Tom reached around to create a makeshift ponytail to hold your hair. Cussing under his breath as he watched your mouth wrap around his tip, swirling your tongue around it while your eyes searched for his. He was really trying to hold it together but you were already driving him crazy.

“Let’s see what you got, Y/N,” Tom challenged you with a heavy breath as he tightened his grip around your hair, “Sometimes, girls think they know exactly what to do but-OH FUCK!” 

His words were lost as soon as your mouth went straight down to his base. Suctioning as hard as you could before coming back up his cock painfully slow. Moaning your name as his chest began to heave, Tom felt his thighs start to quiver from under you. Even just watching the way you were working on him was enough to make him whimper right now.

“Fuck...okay, yeah I take that back,” Tom gasped as his nose crinkled up while his other hand white knuckled the sheets, “God, your mouth is fucking perfect. Why haven’t we done any of this shit before?” he was in such a fucked out haze, he wasn’t even sure if anything he was saying made any sense at all. But he felt his stress from earlier going away finally. Even if this was just a short state of bliss, he was grateful for it anyway.

“You really want me to answer that or would you just prefer me to keep sucking your dick?” you sassed while you kitten licked his tip. You watched from the end of the bed as Tom bucked his hips into your mouth to try and get more contact from your lips but you pulled away from him and just kept licking his tip.

God, you were good, Tom thought to himself.

‘K-keep going,” Tom finally breathed out, flinging his head against the pillow to brace for the impact.

Hollowing your cheeks, you pushed yourself all the way down his cock. Your tongue flicking the base in between as you began to feel him throb inside of your mouth. You could tell he was close so you moaned softly into his cock, watching as Tom shuddered from the sensation you just sent through him.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Tom cried out, moaning your name as he rutted his hips into your mouth. His pupils blacked as he felt the heat rising in his body, “Shit...I’m gonna cum, Y/N,” he warned as you pulled away, running your hand down his shaft as he began to come undone for you.

His warmth spilled out into your hand and down his cock while he let go finally. The stress somewhat leaving his body as it did yours while the euphoric high peaked for him. Your lips crashed against his while his tongue parted your lips to find yours, tangling them together as he moaned against your mouth while riding out his high finally.

You waited for Tom to catch his breath before you smiled against his lips, placing a small peck against them as you pulled away with an even bigger grin, “Yeah, you’re welcome,” you gave him the same arrogant tone he gave to you moments earlier before you pecked his lips again.

After taking some time to get yourselves together mixed with the continuous fooling around underneath the sheets, you and Tom finally decided to get up and end the night. Even though he didn’t want to leave, he knew he probably shouldn’t overstay. Primarily, Tom was adamant about never spending the night at a girl’s place that he slept with. That made things complicated and he didn’t want complicated. But since you and him had rules to not make things messy, he wasn’t sure if that applied to you. For now, he wanted to play it safe so he got himself dressed again.

You pulled on an oversized t-shirt, realizing both of your hair looked a mess. Luckily you were already home and Tom was down the hall so it didn’t really matter. You wanted to say something to Tom, that you were thankful he came by tonight. You were thankful even before sex was on the table. It felt nice to have him as an ally to swing by with a pizza when he didn’t even know you needed that.

“...is it weird to say I’m glad you came by?” you gestured towards your bedroom while you walked with him out into the kitchen where the half eaten pizza was left, “I know we haven’t really made too many rules about it but…” you trailed off with a nervous laugh as you smiled at him awkwardly.

“Like we said, zero weirdness,” Tom reminded you as he padded his way over to you. He grabbed a leftover crust from the box and shoved it in his mouth, clearly starving already from the workout you had just given him. He smiled while he chewed lazily, his mouth still filled with pizza crumbs, “But I’m happy to come by when we have shit days...and make you cum as well,” he smirked deviously. 

The door opened as you smiled back, “Doesn’t have to be just bad days, you know. We could...screw whenever we feel like it,” you told him, hoping that it wasn’t too much.

“Did you just say screw?” he whipped his head towards you with a loud laugh.

“Alright then, I guess I’ll just leave you to the girls who leave you unsatisfied then,” you fought back.

Tom leaned against the door with his mouth gaped open, “They do not...leave me...unsatisfied?” he questioned himself, knowing that that was true, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

“Then why are you here?” you placed a hand on your hip, feeling the smile pulling at your lips while you messed around with him. You certainly weren’t in this mood earlier before Tom came around.

Pressing his lips together, Tom rolled his eye at you, “Fine...we can screw...whenever,” he leaned in closer to you with his eyes big as he mimicked your voice when you said it, “As long as we keep this thing strictly what we intended, you can use me whenever you need, Y/N,” and he meant it.

You didn’t back away when he sealed his words with a soft kiss, paired with his trademark grin. Tom pulled away slowly, taking in the moment as he wished you a goodnight quietly before kissing you against the cheek, “Like I said, best friend I ever had,” he said softly once again.

“Am I interrupting something?” A voice broke from behind the two of you. Both of your eyes widened towards each other as you both simultaneously pivoted your heads towards the staircase where the voice was coming from.

Tom closed his eyes with a groan, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to ignore Harrison staring at the two of you with a crooked grin. Making it known to Tom that explaining this was going to be a lot tougher than he had imagined.

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[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Hi! What is your very specific Twilight AU?

okay, so. New Moon.

party disaster, dumping her and dipping, all happens normally.

but THEN. Bella finds out she’s pregnant.

(and I know you’re thinking- pre-marital sex?!?! Edward would NEVER! but listen. I am the author now. I’ve been around Christians my whole life. shut up!)

so anyway after a million pregnancy tests and a lot of googling about vampire baby legends, Bella’s like...well this is probably gonna be a situation,

Nessie doesn’t have an insane growth rate here because I hate that, so she has a normal amount of time to prepare, and she’s very...aware that the birth is gonna be Rough at best. So she goes to Jacob

who is NOT a wolf yet but Is aware of the pack and the treaty, and they are closer friends already, and she’s like ‘hey. paranormal emergency. you’re the only person in this town who enables me. help.’

 and Jacob’s like I’m Fucking Fifteen and goes and gets Leah, since she’s technically an adult and a girl

(ms. meyer How did you make one of leah’s only 3 character traits ‘upset she’s infertile’ and then not have her support bella’s choices in breaking dawn please make it make sense)

 so they start brainstorming solutions and the best they can work with is. Bella’s gotta ride out the pregnancy in hiding. they have no way of knowing whether she can survive the pregnancy and the only clue they have about whether the baby will be a monster or not is from google searches, but they also can’t exactly take her to an obgyn when her uterus feels like it’s calcified and her ribs are getting broken and she seems to be craving blood

So, Leah’s got her own little place. Bella moves in there, telling Charlie she wants to move back in with Renee (she knows her parents would never willingly call each other so as long as she keeps up communicating with both of them they should be none the wiser of her growing a little dracula in Leah Clearwater’s basement).

Leah has already defected from the wolf pack at this point (because...the Cullen’s left and she didn’t really like any of the guys anyway lmao) so they don’t run the risk of them hearing her thoughts while she’s in wolf form. She goes out and hunts animals, brings them back and her and Jake drain the blood from them so Bella can drink it. All three of them find this extremely disgusting obviously but Jake’s loyal and a little bit lovestruck, Leah’s a supportive friend and queen, and Bella’s just trying to keep her and her baby alive, and none of them feel like trying to rob a blood bank

Bella is 100% certain the baby will just be a baby who happens to like blood, like she was in bd, but the tentative plan is that if a crazy soulless monster comes out of her Leah will...handle that...

Which neither are thrilled about, so Bella’s just trying to focus on staying positive. And between that, trying to survive and stay hidden, Bella doesn’t really have time to...Check Out the way she did in new moon. Like, she’s absolutely still depressed, and she’s still getting an occasional Edward hallucination because carrying a vampire baby counts as reckless in many books, but she’s just more...resigned and pissed than anything. She’ll have days like the ‘possibilities’ scene, but more often than not she’s just telling the Edward hallucination to go fuck himself when he’s begging her to find the real him so they can have Carlisle deal with the pregnancy 

at some point, Seth gets roped into the whole mess (he’s prone to just breaking into his sister’s house) but since he’s like, 13 and The Best Baby Boy he’s immediately supportive. He didn’t even fucking know about the wolves and the vampires until he walked in on a six months pregnant Bella drinking blood while his sister and Jacob are hacking away at a dead deer, but he’s like...you know when you were 13 and sneaking around about Anything made you feel like the coolest person alive? point is he’s helpful

AND he can get away with spending a lot of time at Leah’s house without anyone finding it weird, unlike Jacob, so he starts spending most of his free time there keeping Bella company and brightening her day up

HE is the one who enables her when she comes up with the name Renesmee lmao

(just because she hates Edward doesn’t mean Esme ever did anything wrong!)

“bella I’ll throw you out of this house if you don’t come up with a real name” “leah she’s white you can’t just disrespect her culture like this omg”

anyway these four become the DORKIEST and WEIRDEST little family it’s cute

so then. labor.

it’s less...graphic than in bd because Bella hasn’t been actively dying the whole pregnancy and she doesn’t snap her spine in half, but it’s still. bad.

she essentially delivers a rock that Nessie then begins chewing her way out of. she’s actively bleeding out. Jacob’s having a panic attack. Leah made Seth watch so he would never have unprotected sex and the scare tactic is working. Leah’s covered in Bella’s blood which is not great considering she’s Holding A Rock That A Vampire Is Emerging From

Leah’s been taking classes and researching deliveries so she needs to stitch Bella up and see what else is wrong but Seth is rocking back and forth on the floor crying and Jacob’s screaming and pacing too fast to grab so she’s like. Bella babe I know you’re dying but you need to hold this thing for me ksjdfllksf

so while she’s handling That, Bella’s got this weird little rock in her arms and is watching the baby slowly fight it’s way out like this is a very fucked up egg or something and she’s just. overwhelmed. maybe it’s the blood loss but she’s looking at the messy, scrunchy little face and she’s already in love and envisioning their lives together.

and then, you know, the baby bites her,

she has just enough time to think ‘how did we not think to prepare for that’ before she can feel the venom coursing through her. it’s just as bad as she remembers from James’ bite but somehow...easier to tolerate. she blacks out pretty quickly

the other 3 notice and are like : 👁👄👁

Jacob...literally explodes into a wolf On Spot

Seth darts out the fucking door he’s seen enough for one day

Leah, sole holder of the braincell, realizes Nessie just bit and isn’t drinking from Bella, and deduces this is like...a survival instinct or something. the baby instinctively changes it’s mother first thing. weirdly...touching? 

So she gets the baby and checks that everything is physically okay with Bella (apart from you know. changing species) and is like...guess this is an issue for 3 days from now Leah

more immediate pressing issues: screaming new born baby and oh, yeah, the giant red wolf in the basement,

“Jacob I know this is disorienting but if you break anything in my house I’ll fucking kill you”

she really just leaves the poor boy to go get the baby cleaned up and warm up some of the frozen blood they’ve got in her fridge (RUINING HER TUPPERWARE, BELLA)

she’s not worried about the wolf pack mind meld yet because she knows Sam took the guys on a mission way farther up the coast for a few days and they’ll be too far away to hear Jake. hopefully, by the time they get back, Bella will be awake and they’ll have made an escape plan by then

and as she’s bottle feeding blood to the baby she’s thrilled that it seems to be like...relatively normal and not s horrific monster or anything. mission: unwillingly murder my best friend’s baby has been successfully canceled 

“Oh Goddamn it....Renesmee DOES fit you...”

Seth, from where he’s cowering behind the couch: “told you”

so, Jake eventually calms down, they spend the next few days cooing over Nessie and brainstorming how to handle Bella when she wakes up a vampire, and also nicknaming Nessie ‘Nessie’ because they know Bella will find that intolerable and they feel she deserves karmic punishment for stressing them out so much lmao

so, three days are up. Seth’s upstairs putting on a way-too-elaborate puppet show for the baby with not a care in the world. Leah and Jake are in the basement because they know Bella probably won’t want their wolf blood and their ready to phase in case she gets a little aggressive

but she just wakes up and is like. hey! how’s it going? where’s my baby?

sjdhfksdj they were expecting feral but Bella still has her super self-control. she didn’t even realize she’d changed into a vampire until they told her lmao

Bella’s a little too freaked out to try hunting yet so they give her some of the stored blood they’ve been feeding Ness and she’s like. good to go. Leah’s about to scream like have the elders been exaggerating this whole time or is Bella truly a freak??? lol

So, they spend a couple days just...relaxing, Bella and Renesmee bonding, they’re trying to come up with fun places Bella can move to with the baby so no one she knows finds out, and every now and then Leah and Jake go out and she tries to help him get the wolf thing under control

and then,,,,the pack get back from their mission early

and immediately are able to read Jacob’s mind

so they head over to Start Shit because there’s two bloodsuckers on their land but,

the pack not attacking because Jake imprinted on Renesmee? tired. the pack not attacking because Jake’s Alpha Genes have taken over and declared Nessie and Bella as part of his Pack and attacking would literally start a war? inspired

so they hash the whole thing out....ultimately Sam decides Bella is more of a victim than a threat, and since neither her or Nessie seem to be going on a bloodlust rampage any time soon...he decides to grant them immunity from the whole ‘kill the vampires’ rule. He’ll let her and her daughter stay in La Push as long as they agree to stick to animals and only hunt out of town. PLUS from what little Bella knows about the Volturi, she’s worried about them finding out about Nessie, so they’ll offer protection if that does happen, in exchange for her being able to help them with intel on any other vampire threats in the area (you know like. if a nomad is fucking stuff up in a nearby city, they’ll send her to talk to them first before deciding if they need to intervene. Sam has become acutely aware he has a lot of teens and kids in his pack, so he’s trying to keep them out of fights as much as possible)  

anyway that’s the story of Nessie gaining like 17 chaotic as hell ride or die uncles,

let’s fast forward a bit

it’s like 15 years later. Bella’s not living with Leah anymore, but she’s got a cute apartment in a nearby town, and owns and runs a bookstore on the first floor of it. she got her ged and did college online and teaches night classes at a community college. She’s still in contact with her parents, who Adore the life out of Nessie. She still helps the pack out and they’re all close. Nessie is a handful but in a fun and lovable way. They go on little weekend trips whenever they have time. Bella’s happy.

but then a. Situation. arises.

basically, the Volturi have been made aware of some unknown vampire chasing others out of the pacific northwest and conspiring with shapeshifters. and you know when Aro gets curious he tends to spin things dramatically. who’s to say this vampire isn’t conspiring against all vampires? against them? why has no one’s special talents worked on her? he simply must find out.

Bella and the Pack get word and decide their best course of action for now is to go on the run. they’re not gonna be able to take on a whole army but if they can bide some time and lay low they might be able to figure something out

except Bella is like....I have a teenage hybrid that the Volturi don’t know about yet...it would be EXTREMELY irresponsible to take her with me

but she can’t send Nessie to Charlie or Renee because they don’t know about her...dietary restrictions. She can’t stay with Billy or anyone else in La Push because the Volturi might trace the pack’s scent there and discover her. She’s panicking, they have to leave in a few days max and she can’t find a safe place for her daughter

and then she’s like.....fuck.

she had run into Jasper a couple of years ago- they have the same forgery guy and were heading to his building around the same time as a coincidence. She promised to forgive him for the party incident if he promised not to tell Edward he saw her and that she’s a vampire now. He agreed, but then told her Edward’s been living on his own for a while now and insisted on giving her his number...she never could bring herself to call it or delete it...but now...if she wants to be 100% Nessie is safe and protected...

fuck

So, the past 15 years have been fairly rough for Edward

he’s still convinced leaving in order to save Bella was the best course of action, but like...the vampires canonically mate for life. that’s his soulmate. he’s absolutely miserable without her. he’s thought about cracking and going to find her again but he always talks himself out of it, convinced she’d just tell him she hates him or something

so as stated in his patented Edward Cullen Self Loathing Guide, first thing to do is isolate yourself from all the lovebirds you usually live with. Sure, he keeps in contact, but...not well. he’s currently living alone and posing as a university student. He’s not even really sure what he’s supposed to be majoring in. He’s mostly been in a haze since he left Forks.

and one day....he gets a call from an unknown number. he ignores it, thinking it’s a spam call. but then it calls like 8 more times in a row and he figures answering might be a bit smarter than simply throwing it at the wall

And Edward...swears he came back to life and immediately had a heart attack the second he hears Bella’s voice

He feels breathless and disoriented the whole conversation, trying to figure out if his memory did her voice any justice, trying to rush out 15 years worth of apologies, trying to comprehend she’s actually speaking to him.

But Bella’s very blunt on the phone. She doesn’t want to let herself get emotional. She’s on a time limit, and she has to focus on getting her daughter to safety

And Edward swears he somehow misheard her the first ten or so times she told him. He had a daughter? that wasn’t possible

“she has the audacity to be your Evil Twin so I’m pretty sure it’s possible”

so she gives him a rundown. she needs to go into hiding, no I don’t need your help with that, gives him details about Nessie, what she’s like, what she likes to do, her diet, her favorite color, how annoyed she is by this whole situation, “Edward I know you don’t love me anymore, but I remember how protective you were, and that’s what I need Nessie to have right now. She needs you right now” and Edward wants so badly to refute Bella’s claim of lost love, to tell her he has absolutely no idea how to be a parent, but...her tone is aching so much he can barely speak. He can’t let Bella down again, and he can’t let this little girl he foolishly created and left down anymore than he already has, either.

So he agrees, she tells him to be at the airport in a few days, and hangs up. 

Edward loses about half a day staring at a wall in shock, before he jumps into preparations.

Bella told him while their daughter possessed some speed and strength, hunting was fairly dangerous for her. She was more delicate than his kind, and had a heartbeat. Reheated blood bags had been their best option, and she also needed human food as well. He also had to get a room ready for her- he wandered around stores for hours, reading young girls minds to see if there was any furniture or decorations that were universally liked- which was of course, fruitless, but he did manage to find a handful of things he was sure Bella would have liked at that age, and prayed for the best. He somehow got himself covered in purple paint that was a nightmare to get off. Bella had sent him some forged documents claiming Nessie was his younger sister he’d won custody of, and he got her enrolled in a nearby school. He lived every day leading up to her arrival staving off a panic attack.

it wasn’t until he was on the way to the airport that he realized he forgot to inform his family about this life update. they must’ve been on a hunting trip, because he got nothing but voicemails 

imagine being Carlisle and you come home to a voicemail from your son who’s banished himself from the family that’s just like ‘hi. you’re a grandfather now. I’m having a nervous breakdown and might crash my car. call me back at your earliest convenience I suppose” like what would you DO

 after he gets to the airport he starts panicking again, realizing Bella had never actually sent him a picture, worrying about how he’d find her, but then- he sees a tiny girl with untamed, dark red curls, features strikingly similar to his own that are pulled into the expression Bella always made when she was reading, absently chewing on her lip, and before she looks at him with her mother’s big brown eyes, he already knows who he’s looking at, and he’s certain if he was human his tear ducts would be having a fit right now

Renesmee, however, seems less willing to have an emotional meeting. She mumbles out a simple greeting before gathering up her bags and heading for the door, Edward rushing behind her to try and help

listen. the awkwardness of Charlie trying to connect with Bella. but 10000x worse because of Edward’s overthinking, self-deprecating ass and Nessie being like ‘ah yes the guy who broke my pregnant teenage mothers heart, fantastic’ lmao

the car ride is p a i n f u l. Edward’s trying so hard for light conversation and Nessie’s barely giving one word answers. Bella had warned her about the mind reading so she was carefully keeping her mind blocked, which Edward is trying very hard to be understanding about instead of annoyed, but By God does he want to know everything about her

when they get back to his place, she quietly thanks him for the room and then promptly locks him out of it lol. He spends the rest of the day just pacing back and forth until he realizes he should eventually feed her lmao

and that’s...kinda how the first couple weeks go. she only emerges from her room if he bribes her with food, she awkwardly tries to dodge his questions, he drives her to school and then begs her to tell him how it went when he picks her up, he spends his college classes distracted because he’s freaking out constantly about how to successfully bond with her. His favorite time of day now is night, because she can’t block her mind while she’s asleep, and even if her dreams are all nonsense they’re still...part of her that he gets to know.

His family keeps begging him to let them meet her, but he’s pushing back because if she’s this bad at adjusting to one new family member, how is she going to handle six more?

(meanwhile Alice and Rose started a group chat with her and are having a ball clowning Edward lmao)

wait ksjflksd I think this vine perfectly sums up the dynamic im envisioning  https://youtu.be/wQZIUHNORHg

anyway they....very slowly make some progress. much too slowly for Edward’s taste, but hey.

Like he finds out snacks she likes. or jewelry she likes. stuff like that and just...wordlessly leaves it around for her lmao. he thinks it’s like trying not to startle a deer, Nessie thinks it’s more like a cat trying to gift you a dead mouse, but either way it’s weirdly endearing.

He notices she always has a huffy little frown when he picks her up on Wednesdays. So instead of begging her for an ounce of information of her school life, he asks her one Wednesday morning if she’s excited for the day and she admits she has an elective class every Wednesday with a girl she doesn’t get along with.

He gets her school photos (and Weeps) and realizes apart from her room the home is fairly barren of decorations, so he buys a bunch of picture frames and hangs up the school shots, and some pictures of the Cullen’s over the years, and the few he has of Bella that he could never bear to part with. Other than catching her smiling at the prom picture of her parents, Nessie doesn’t say anything- but the next time he comes home from hunting, there’s a pile of pictures of her growing up on the table, and he starts weeping all over again as he hangs them up

(there’s one of her and Bella hugging and looking at the camera with identical grins and joy in their eyes, he can’t help but put that in his room. He hopes one day he’ll get to see a scene like that in person)

He starts trying to get her out of her room a little more- he still hasn’t managed to a get a ‘favorites’ list out of her, so he starts playing movies Bella loved, to see if any of them lure her out. some do, some don’t- he got halfway through a Lord of the Rings marathon, which was Torture in his opinion, but then Ness came out and quietly asked if he could restart it and suddenly they became his favorite movies ever.

Bella’s not able to contact her on a set schedule or anything because of her situation (and you can bet your ass Edward’s contacted every vampire he knows and ordered them to help her out if they come across her or the Volturi), and Edward realizes that’s probably taking a toll on the girl, so he starts telling her stories of her mother when he knew her in Forks. She’s particularly amused by the blood typing incident- the first time Edward hears Nessie properly laugh, he literally starts crying on the spot

could you imagine the sheer panic if she ever gets so much as a cold

And yes, she’s still pissed on Bella’s behalf, and yes, she specifically blasts 70s music because Bella told her he hates it one time, and yes, if he looks at her like he’s a kicked puppy one more time she might claw his eyes out, and yes, she refuses to introduce him to her friends from school because she Knows everyone will then start asking her about her ‘hot brother’ and she can’t live with that and also can’t live with him knowing that so she told him if he ever introduces himself to any of her friends she’ll set him on fire, and yes, she’s homesick 95% of the time but...he’s growing on her. like a mold, or something.

(okay, maybe when Seth tried to analyze why Mamma Mia is her favorite musical, he might have had a point. half a point. quarter of a point. shut up.)

And Edward’s still trying to not have a panic attack every time she’s out of his sight- he’s got Carlisle keeping tabs on the Volturi for him, and it’s not exactly hard for him to keep track of her through other people’s minds- but she’s so tiny and her heartbeat is Too Fast and what if she inherited her mother’s unlucky streak??

but they’re toeing the line of co-existing peacefully and Edward’s scared to push it past that

then he has to, because it turns out he sent her to one of Those Schools where the parents have to be involved in the school in some way or another and Nessie’s Annoyed

sdkjfsdkjf she keeps trying to get him to just sign up for like pta meetings or something and he’s like ‘I need you to understand you are the only person in this town I actually know or like I Cannot survive around fundraiser moms I can’t’ 

so she’s like ugh fine I’m in the drama club

listen.....Stage Parent Edward Cullen.......the power this holds...

that’s right this whole post was an elaborate ruse for me to make a musical theater headcanon again lmao

no okay but seriously he starts off just helping build sets and stuff like that but then midway through the year their music teacher gets fired and the schools like begging him to take over because they can’t find someone in enough time that’ll know the music for the show they’re doing and he’s like “I need you to understand Nessie will never talk to me again if I start actually working at her school” and they’re like “She also will never talk to you again if we have to cancel the big musical, though” and he’s like. fuck.

silent treatment for a week and a half

lmao so now he’s trying to juggle being an overly-enthusiastic stage parent who’s making costumes and sets and kinda crying backstage when he sees his daughter in her costume with also being the music director for the damn show and trying to teach a bunch of kids how to read sheet music 

one day he ended up in a coffee shop with the hair and makeup moms, gossiping about the cast’s love lives, and he literally doesn’t know how he got there

is it wrong to pass Nessie in class even though she’s putting all the wrong answers on the test but he Knows she knows the right answers and is only answering wrong to try and get a rise out of him

Bella sneaks into town to see the show- they thought it would push their luck if the pack came, but they sent an ungodly amount of flowers and candy. When she snuck into the house while Ness was sleeping she Was Not expecting to find Edward up to his elbows in sequins, trying to fix a bedazzler he accidentally broke in frustration, muttering under his breath about how if Nessie’s romantic opposite in the show doesn’t keep his thoughts clean he’s gonna kill him- and it just cracks her up. She WAS nervous about seeing Edward again but now she’s assured he’s still a dork lol

So Edward freaks when he sees her but they don’t wanna wake Ness up so they’re trying to be quiet but like. they’re going through it 

Like Bella Wants to be pissed at him but she can’t, she still loves him- and while she can’t just get over what he did to her, it’s also not lost on her that ‘leaving to protect someone I love’ is literally what she had to do to her daughter

And Edward....Edward, who only left to give Bella a chance at a safe, human life, seeing Bella in front of him as a vampire, knowing it’s his fault she ended up that way and she had to go through it alone, had to raise a baby herself because he’d made it so hard to find him...knowing if he’d just pulled his head out of his ass he would have been able to be there for her...would be able to form a coherent sentence around his love right now, would have long and fond memories of Nessie’s childhood, likely wouldn’t have to watch Bella hide from the Volturi...he’s back in a self-loathing spiral already

But they haven’t seen each other in so long and they just don’t want to...deal with the unpleasantness right now, so they just push it aside. Bella helps Edward with the costumes. Edward fills her in on what she’s been missing with Nessie. Bella tells him some stuff about when Ness was younger. They just spend the night talking, and it feels like no time has past between them at all- which just makes the heartaches a little stronger

When Nessie wakes up to her mother there she’s ecstatic- bubbly and loud and glued to Bella’s hip all day, giving her in depth play-by-plays of her school and rehearsals and friends she’s made, bouncing on her toes all morning, hyper, giggly, and- it kind of breaks Edward’s heart a little, even though he knows he hasn’t really...earned this side of his daughter, yet. 

(at least he got his wish of seeing their twin smiles in person)

(he wishes he could see them every second of every day)

so the girls spend the day catching up while Edward mostly feels like a thirdwheel, and then they have to get Ness over to the school so she can get ready

Bella decides to hang out around the school theater before the show actually starts- she leans against the wall next to the piano, the two talking in hushed tones while Edward runs through songs. Bella really missed watching him play- the only thing that managed to drag her away from it was when Nessie called her to the dressing room to help with a hair emergency 

she didn’t talk to him much at intermission, her attention being stolen by the rest of the Cullen family (who had been Very Loudly supporting the show so far, she knew Ness was probably dying of embarrassment backstage)

after the show, the three went back to Edward’s and just...talked. Nessie was gushing about the show and eating while her parents assured her she was the greatest actress ever born, simple stuff like that. she fell asleep sandwiched in between them on the couch 

Bella realizes she’s never going to be able to bring herself to leave again if Nessie wakes up, and tells Edward as much. He clearly doesn’t want her to go just yet either, but...she’s on the run, it’s not like she has much choice 

He has so much he wants to say to her but he just- can’t. it’s not the right time. but he’s hoping she can see that in his eyes

Bella shifts Nessie off her shoulder so Edward can hold her, and she gives him a light kiss and says ‘thank you, Edward’ before disappearing in a flash. she needed to go before she lost her nerve.

Edward can’t bring himself to let Nessie out of his arms, so instead of carrying her to bed he just stays there, holding her, trying his best not to think that that could be the last time for a long time he’d ever see his Bella again, trying not to let thoughts of a life he gave up unwittingly consume him

okay I didn’t mean for this to be So Long so I’m cutting it here uhh...let me know if anyone wants a part 2? sorry lmao

[ponds-of-ink]

Investigating Patient 46 (Part 2 - Figuring Out the Specifics)

For anyone confused about why I’m going on a investigative tangent about Patient 46, here’s Part 1. Same disclaimer as last time: As much as I’d love to die on this hill, I have to got remain realistic and say that there’s a huge chance that I’m going to be wrong when Ruin comes out. Or when Tales from the Pizzaplex finally covers Vanny/Vanessa, if we get that far.

In case you don’t want/have time to read Part 1 (or the link isn’t working for some reason), however, here’s a recap. In Part 1, I used process of elimination to rule out some of Patient 46’s most popular suspects. I’m going to try to do the same here with “diagnosing” 46 and her circumstances/situation, but I bet this’ll lean more towards speculative stuff this time.

All right, so I’ve narrowed the patient down to Vanny/Vanessa’s “darker Hyde”. While this does free up some concerns about Gregory or Elizabeth, now we have new questions.

*Is Vanessa an Afton we missed somehow?

*Was the custody case even real in the first place or was it made up?

*If it is real, then who is the one with the dad named Bill? Is the dad even named Bill, or is that a red herring?

Let’s start off with the one that can actually get a more clear answer: Is Vanessa just some forgotten Afton kid who got the short end of the backstory stick, since we’ve already eliminated Elizabeth in Part 1?

Well, in one of the Scrapped AR Emails, Vanessa is listed as 23 years old with her birthday being in September. The emails would’ve probably also come out in late 2020 - early 2021, which means her birth year in the AR game would’ve been 1997. The William we know, as far as the FNAF general timeline is concerned, should’ve already had his death by springlocks several years prior.

Also, as Fuhnaff pointed out in his own huge theory about Luis and such, Steel Wool might’ve pushed the date that Security Breach and AR take place a bit more into the future. If this masquerade Easter egg is any indication, then Vanessa should still be 23 but with a birth year of 2012 this time. Which definitely rules out William being “Bill” entirely, since we’ve crossed off Elizabeth being involved in Part 1… Which also means Vanessa’s last name initial is a red herring and she’s something like “Vanessa Adams” or “Vanessa Atkinson”.

This leads to the inevitable question of “So, was the custody case even real in the first place?”

What I’m about to say is more of a story-writing nitpick, but here goes.

If it was completely made up, then why even have the characters bring it up in the first place?? It’d be kinda pointless to leave that detail in for people to find out, only to go “oh it was only a ploy lol”. I understand and even like the whole idea of Vanessa’s using it as a way to say that Glitchtrap’s mind controlling her. But there’s one gaping issue with that.

Both Patient 46 and Vanessa are rolling with the whole tragic backstory thing. The last therapist even points that out when confronting Patient 46 in the last tape.

“…it won't change the fact that none of what you said in your file about your parents was true. The truth is, you had great parents, a great childhood. Why did you lie?…”

Patient 46 had it on the therapists’ record that she had a tragic past, but that was a load of malarkey. And how would the last therapist know this?

…Why don't we talk about the research I did in your past, shall we? Some therapists think they should only focus on information they get from their clients but, some therapists, like me, think it's helpful to find out about clients from other sources…”

Which most likely means that this woman dug through court case records to verify 46/Vanny’s claims. Maybe even talking to family members close to Vanny/Vanessa to really double-check, if patient confidentiality’s not a thing for Fazbear Entertainment.

So, with this information, we can deduce that Vanessa never had that backstory in the first place but someone must’ve. If this court case is real, then who does this story belong to? And who exactly is “Bill”, anyway?

Well… We haven’t really touched on Glitchtrap/William himself yet. Let’s build up some proof that he can even hijack or communicate with Vanessa at all— Vanny aside.

We already know that Vanessa can talk to Glitchtrap through her introduction in Help Wanted’s Curse of Dreadbear DLC, that one early Security Breach trailer with Glitchtrap’s “when I first found you”, that “stay the course” convo hidden in a line of code (can’t remember where it’s from off the top of my head sorry), and some deleted Vanessa dialogue from Security Breach itself. We also know that Vanessa is dealing with this struggle of following Glitchtrap‘s orders in FNAF AR’s December 2nd email, forcing Glitchtrap to look up “how to induce self-compliance” while in her body. In that same email, it’s reported by Luis that Vanessa looked up “help”.

The other emails— both scrapped and released— assist in confirming that Vanessa is starting to gain a second “personality” of sorts. Though, to be clear, it’s most likely Glitchtrap finishing the job he set out to do in Help Wanted: Escape through someone and wreck havoc on Fazbear’s yet again.

Going back to the CDs themselves, pay attention next time to how Vanessa talks in her CDs. A few times, she sounds very… off. Dazed and cold, almost as if she were mind-controlled. The FNAF wiki transcripts of these CDs even marks most of times as her talking “faintly”. So one could infer that she’s even being prompted (or even getting hijacked for a sec) to answer some questions ‘properly’.

Now that we’ve established Glitchtrap/William as a suspect, let’s get to the main topic: If he’s the one with the backstory, then who’s “Bill”? Isn’t “Bill” short for William? How could “Bill” be William’s Dad if they share the same name?

There’s two loopholes to that idea:

(1) The William we’ve been following is actually Bill Afton Jr., but he changed his name later in life. It’d be a weird twist, sure, but at least it’d clarify why we’ve never heard William being called “Bill” beforehand. Not even in the original book trilogy or Fazbear Frights, iirc.

(2) Considering that Vanessa mutters something after “Your dad’s name was Bill?” in CD 3, it could be that William/Glitchtrap was trying to argue that this dad’s name wasn’t actually Bill. Why didn’t he repeat himself or let Vanessa correct the mistake/red herring she made on her (and/or 46’s) file? No idea.

All of this speculative evidence points to this: William “Purple Guy” Afton/Glitchtrap, after so many years of dodging his childhood past, finally has to confront it thanks to Vanessa’s search history literally crying out for help. It’s a struggle involving many missing therapists, but at least William— or at least an AI variant of him?— admits to something the Silver Eyes’ own Calton presumed:

“…Before him stood someone who had spent much of his life fighting like a cornered rat that he had taken on the mantle of bitter sadism as an integral part of himself. He would strike out against others and revel in their pain, feeling righteously that the world owed him his cruel pleasures.”

Maybe not an exact one-to-one, given how much the trilogy and game Aftons differ, but one thing remains true: William had a rough childhood. Or at least a rough enough life to make the man snap as soon as tragedy struck again.

By the way, I’m not the first to come up with this conclusion. @partnersatfazbear and @hunting-at-least-69-witches brought this side of the story to my attention a while ago. All I’m doing is trying my best “Who Shot Mr. Burns?”/Clue-level deductive reasoning to see how to come to that idea with context clues and such.

Oh and uh… Sorry if I didn’t really answer the “Bill” question. I don’t think I can definitively answer that until something gets confirmed, which is a pain.

[jortsaaaaaaart]

To be Forgotten Amongst Friends Chp 2

Omega!Reader x Avengers (i’m calling this the happily ever after AU or somethin, everyone is still alive after Endgame)

As always- the story will be updated first on Archive of our own, I hate the upload system on tumblr. Check it out- here

Chp1 (another Bucky heavy one sorryyyy, Tony will get a lot of time in the next one ;) whether that’s good or bad)

I had an Omega.

Those words caused all movement in the room to cease. The ex Hydra assassin was staring down at a plate of eggs with a furrowed brow. None of the team knew what to say as Bucky set his fork down and held his head in his hands.

"You had an omega. . . You? When?" Tony asked incredulously, breaking the silence. "Did you have time to seduce an omega between shooting JFK and going on the run?" His words, while crude, were what everyone was thinking. 

Bucky had been back for little over a month and his memories were still coming back. Most were from before Hydra but occasionally flashes of moments between cryo freezes would come back to him. These were usually things Hydra had attempted to erase. The location of bunkers and safe houses, sensitive information, and you. Remembering you was like a punch to the gut and kiss on the cheek. The feeling of missing you almost overwhelmed his sudden realization that he had no idea where you were.

"Buck, what did you remember?" Questioned Steve. All the avengers in the room had stopped eating at this point, opting to watch the brunette closely. It was rare to have an omega, even for them. They couldn't fathom the Winter Soldier having one.

"I was tasked to guard a Hydra facility where they were performing human experiments. There was one experiment who kept getting out of their cage, it became my job to keep her in there." Bucky squinted and ran his fingers through his hair. Why was it so hard to remember you? What did Hydra want to cover up?

“. . . They made me keep her prisoner and hunt her down if she ever got out. And she did. She’s a lot like you were when we were kids, she’s got no sense but a whole lotta heart. After escape number three I was stationed outside of her cell full-time.” He took a deep breath, hands running over his face. “The walls were plastic to keep her powers contained but they weren’t sound proof. I spent three months being her soundboard. I was the only person she interacted with most days. The only person who didn’t hurt her, unless she ran. . . . The doctors noticed and they ordered me to-” A shuddering breath left him. 

"I think they made me hurt her? God it's so fucking hard to remember." He growled, bringing his fist down on the table.

“I'm not seeing how that makes her your omega." Natasha prompted.

"I marked her. I know I did."

Natasha, Bruce, and Wanda- the betas in the room- shared a worried glance. Marking a captive omega was a mixed bag. Sometimes it turned out fine, other times the trauma of it would change the omega's entire demeanor. Not that an alpha in rut would care either way. To an alpha, once an omega was theirs it was their right to mark it. To make it their property.

"Did she have a name? Or any identifying features?" Asked Bruce. "If you've marked her, and she's still alive, she's been living without her alpha for who knows how many years. Her hormonal balance must be completely off." He was more than a little angry at the situation. As a doctor he'd seen omegas tossed aside by their alphas one too many times. Once marked omegas could never be un-marked and they would almost always die of shock at being abandoned or, if they could make it long enough, of the stress of a heat without their alpha.

"(Y/N). . . That's what it said on her cell. 214, (Y/N) (L/N). She'll have a claiming mark on the left side of her neck." Bucky continued to describe her to Bruce, the memories slowly coming back. It was easier to focus on the smaller details. Your eyes, the color of your hair, how you smelt in heat. He was no stranger to this deep feeling of loss, but the love bubbling up in his chest, consuming him, was new. Bucky knew you had to be okay, if you weren’t. . . He didn’t know if he could go on. There were too few good things left at this point.

"When you find her. . . Are you going to bring her into the pack?"

Bucky blinked up at Natasha. He hadn't even considered the pack. It was a charged question that made his body stiffen. There were four alphas in the pack, six betas, and no omegas. If Bucky brought her into the pack he'd be expected to share her. If he didn't, he might have to leave the pack entirely. Steve wouldn't force him out, Tony might not either, but having a separate faction in the pack would cause chaos and jealousy. It was already starting now as the alphas exchanged calculating stares. They stood there in silence, backs ramrod straight, until Natasha spoke up again.

"Maybe we should wait until we find her. That way you guys will have time to decide without ripping each other to pieces." She paused, wording her next sentence carefully. "You should also think about what you're going to do if she doesn't want an alpha, or a pack. We don't know how long she's been on her own."

"I'm her alpha." He growled back. “She’ll want to be with me, wherever that is."

+++

Months later, you laid motionless in the den.

It was a cruel twist of fate, Bucky thought, that he could remember and you couldn't. He'd spent so long being the one who couldn't remember his loved ones that this devastating sensation was wholly new to him. Bucky had looked for you. God, he had searched tirelessly for you. There was a point where he didn't want to find you. He didn't think he could handle it if you were dead and he knew he couldn't handle you being alive and purposefully avoiding him.

The final battle against Thanos and the return of the missing almost broke him. Bruce had told him of the great dying, a horrible term for the slow, pining, deaths of thousands of omegas left without their alphas. If you hadn't died before then it was almost assured you were gone now. He stopped looking and focused on his visits with doctor Raynor and keeping his composure up for Steve.

 Slowly, the world kept turning around him.

He tried his best to forget you but it was impossible. Every moment spent without you carved a piece of him away. Just when he thought the pain couldn't get worse, he received a message from a long forgotten ally. 

It was a viral video Fury had stumbled upon. A group of children creating a mural on weathered brownstone. It was bright and colorful, but it was nothing compared to your smile. Bucky's breath caught in his chest when he saw your face. You were smiling and laughing in the background. It was just for a second, but he knew it was you. 

You were beautiful.

It was bittersweet seeing you alive and well. He wanted to run to you. Hold you in his arms and ask you why, why hadn't you found him? Had you even looked? 

Natasha had been the one to suggest him staying back, letting Steve and her go look for you. It took a couple hours of shouting and arguing for him to agree. It would be easier to find her without making a scene, she said. They were supposed to find you and take you into custody if you resisted. It wasn't ideal, but Fury was adamant you were a criminal. The one who'd been behind the hacking of multiple companies Bucky really couldn't give two shits about. He just wanted you back in his arms. 

So he waited.

The anger he felt when they brought you in on a stretcher was rivaled only in his sheer terror. There was a bruise forming on your temple and your left arm was bent at an odd angle, the skin already starting to redden and swell. Steve put up with every expletive his friend could think of, and more than a bit of pushing, but you were okay, and that's what mattered. You opened those (e/c) eyes and he felt like melting into a happy little puddle at the foot of your bed.

Until it (and you) hit him. 

You had no idea who he was.

It shouldn't have relieved him. He was pissed, anguished, for sure. . . But he was relieved as well. You didn't look for him because you didn't remember him. He wasn't disgusting or irredeemable, you just didn't remember how much you loved him. 

You had to remember him. No matter the cost.

"She's been dropped for over five hours now."

Bucky held you in his lap as red energy swirled around your head. He wasn't sure what to think of the witch after Tony's brief description of how she "fucked all our minds up and then fell in love with my AI". But, Tony had also promised she could help see why you were afraid and he didn't have any other options.

"Drops can last a long time. You have a while yet before you need to worry." Wanda assured him. The warm words fell on deaf ears. There was very little that could keep Bucky calm right now.

"Can't you wake her up?"

"I can try to calm her but I can't pull an omega out of a drop. That's usually the alpha's job. But, I'll see what I can find out."

The entire pack, save Thor and Rhodey, had gathered in the den. Wanda had been dragged from her evening tea with Vision and was as irritated as she looked. She and Natasha were the two most. . . Uneasy about this. They had been held captive and used by men before, even as betas. They weren't keen on making anyone share that experience.

But this is what the majority of the pack wanted, so they waited and watched.

Wanda delved into your mind. It was shockingly small compared to other's, only a few years of memories mulled about in your head. She tried to latch onto your fear but only saw mundane things. Spiders, loneliness, the ocean, all things most people feared but not what she was looking for. Wanda poked and prodded until, eventually, she found what was wrong.

"There's. . . A wall? Her memories are completely blocked off. . ." She muttered, half to herself, half to the crowd of alpha's. "I've never seen anything like this."

"Well, tear it down." Bucky commanded.

Wanda pushed harder against the barrier. There was a little bit of give, a crack of sorts, and a flood of sorrow. She pulled away from you with a gasp.

"No. That's there for a reason."

"What?" Your alpha snarled. "You said you could help." 

Wanda didn't flinch as the alpha bared his teeth. She knew it was just a front for his anxiety, she could feel it.

"I am helping." Wanda bit back. "That wall is there for a reason. Removing it could leave her shell shocked, catatonic. Whoever put it there did it for a reason." She paused before continuing slowly, giving the alpha time to absorb what she was saying.

"They're not like your memories were. Hers are locked away. To protect her, I think. Whatever's behind that wall hurt her severely. So much so that it had to be contained."

"Her time at the hydra facility." Bucky's arms squeezed you tighter. ". . . Me. Remembering me hurt her?"

"Bucky, from what you've told us about the hydra compound it's not very shocking." Bruce weighed in. "Do you want to remember the torture they put you through?"

"It's not the same! Someone did this to her against her will, I know it. She would've never forgotten me on purpose!" Bucky was adamant. His voice rose, chest heaved, and tears began to well up in his eyes. He was trying to convince himself of your love and it was gruelling. Steve placed a hand on his shoulder but he shrugged it off. You were laid gently down, a moment of softness before the alpha stormed out of the room.

Steve called out and ran after him. Their booming voices carrying down the halls. The rest of the pack was left in silence. It hurt them to see their friend in so much pain, but they didn't have a solution. 

"I'll stay with her, Sabrina." Said Tony. Wanda's lips pressed into a line at the nickname, but she backed away from you regardless. The billionaire sank down next to you with a sigh. "We should keep Bucky away from her for now. At least until she wakes up."

"Easier said than done." Natasha muttered. The redhead gave you a sad glance before following after the super soldiers. 

How to keep an unhinged, enhanced, man with a metal arm out of the den was not something she wanted to figure out today.

+++

You hadn’t dropped before, at least as far as you could remember. It took a great toll on an omega to drop, you were basically putting yourself in a coma to avoid predators or anything that would do you harm. This drop felt strange, not that you had any first hand experience but by the way other omegas had described it was a deep sleep. It was supposed to be peaceful with no dreams or interruptions until it ended or your alpha brought you out of it. 

So why were you dreaming?

Images were being pulled from your mind without your control. Some came easily, some felt like they had dug their claws deep into your brain before being ripped from you. The easier they came the more you recognized them. Faces and places from your time in New York, short snippets of voices or feelings. The taste of a meal. The painful ones left you confused. There were people you thought you ought to know. A sprawling campus with people like you. A birthday cake with sparklers. Your feet dragging against the forest floor as you were pulled backwards. You looked up and saw-

Nothing. Brown hair fell over stormy eyes. A cold hand held your wrist. He was there, but he was nothing. It was like a deep trench in the ocean or a burn in a photo. You knew there had been something there once, but you couldn't reach it.

Just like that it was gone, replaced by blurry faces and voices you knew you had loved once.

"Are you sure you want to forget?"

"I can't live like this, professor. I can't keep- I- I keep seeing him, seeing them, everywhere. I can't look at my body without thinking of what he did to me."

". . . I can put up a wall and seal the memories away, but I won't purge them, (y/n). There are consequences to wiping away your memory. Something you've seen firsthand." The professor warned.

"I don't care. I need to forget him. No matter what happens."

"Why are you blaming yourself?" Your friend whispered. "You know you're not at fault. Yet you're trying to 'fix' yourself."

"Because I stopped trying to run. I gave up. He broke me. He broke both of us."

"I don't deserve to remember. I don't deserve to be me."

You sat up, a silent sob wracking your body. 

A myriad of different scents hit you immediately. It was overwhelming and made your head spin but there was one scent close by that seemed tolerable. It was spicy and clean, a bit like spiced rum, and when you nuzzled closer to it all the other scents were drowned out. It gave you a blissful moment of peace and some relief from your growing headache. However, you didn't expect it to start moving.

"You're awake."

Fingers threaded through your hair, keeping you pressed close. You shifted and stared up at the man holding you. He was easily recognizable, the stupid facial hair, brown eyes, and glowing ark reactor. Many omegas, or betas, would love to be laying on Tony Stark but you couldn't feel anything other than the pounding of your head.

"That drop did a number on you, huh? All these smells aren't helping either, are they? Poor thing." The billionaire cooed softly. You knew you'd usually be furious at the way he was coddling you but today had been a complete shit show. God, was it even still today? How many hours had passed between your Burrough and waking up in his arms?

Slowly, you raised yourself up into a sitting position. Tony propped himself up on his elbows and watched as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes. He knew he should tell Friday to call Bucky and Steve but having you all to himself was immensely tempting. 

Tony loved omegas, their big, wide-eyed gaze, their small stature, it made him want to show off even more than usual. When he'd learned of Bucky's omega he felt a spark of excitement, of hope. Tony had had many chances to court different omegas thanks to his status, but he didn't want anything permanent for the longest time. He didn't think he deserved it. Didn't think he could handle it. 

All that changed after Thanos and the five year gap. The majority of omegas left behind after the snap had died slowly of pining. The omegas that returned five years later were taken better care of, but even with the best medical care thousands of omegas were still lost. He'd almost given up on the idea of an omega mate when Bucky had finally remembered you.

"Where am I?" You asked him, trying to keep the fear and panic out of your voice. You rubbed at your cast absentmindedly as the previous events replayed in your head. The chase, waking up, seeing that man, dropping, and waking up again.

"The den. Steve put you in here to get you used to the scents. He's not really a big thinker." He sighed dramatically.

You wrinkled your nose, both at the smells and fake familiarity.

"So what happens now?"

The man raised an eyebrow, gazing up at you with a sense of lazy contentment. "What do you mean?"

". . . Am I being held here?" You inquired. Tony sat up straight, brows knit. 

"You're not our prisoner," He assured you. "But," There was always a but. "You're Bucky's omega, he has the last word."

Bucky that word ripped through you like a cold gust of wind.

"He's not my alpha! I-" You caught yourself and willed your voice to lower. You needed to be calm for the sake of your throbbing headache and to have any chance of the Avenger listening to you. "I don't remember him and it feels wrong. I don't know how to explain it but I know he did something to me." You were dangerously close to crying. The panic had set in and it was all you could do to keep your breathing steady.

"The mark doesn't lie, sweetheart." He sighed, ghosting over your scar with calloused fingertips. "The teeth match up, I had Bruce check."

You twitched away from him, making the man frown. Escape didn't seem to be an option right now. You were injured, possibly drugged, and weren't a match for more than one of the Avengers. Honestly, Iron Man alone might be a problem. You weren't sure how your powers would affect him or his suit. For now it was best to wait, watch, and pretend. Pretend to be harmless until you found the right moment to run.

Tony watched you for a minute. You were still lost in your thoughts, anxiously picking at your cast, eyes dangerously wet. Even though you weren't his omega, yet, it still pained him to see you so distraught. He wasn't as delusional as Bucky or Steve, he knew there was a transitional period for omegas to get used to their new surroundings. They wanted you to be Bucky’s perfect little wife and fix all his emotional issues immediately. It just wasn’t possible. The true way to an omega’s heart was persistence and spoiling. So much spoiling. They wanted to be with their alphas, really, they did. 

Omegas just needed to be shown how good behaving could feel.

People who somehow enjoy my writing-

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[wickwrites]

Wonder Egg Priority Episode 4: Boys’ and Girls’ Suicides Do Mean Different Things (But Not in the Way the Mannequins Want You to Think!)

So, let’s talk about this for a second. After I got over my initial knee-jerk reaction, I realized I wasn’t sure how to make sense of exactly what the mannequins were arguing for here. So let me rephrase their statements to make the argumentative structure more explicit: Because men are goal-oriented and women are not, because women are emotion-oriented and men are not, and because women are impulsive and easily influenced by others’ voices and men are not, boys’ and girls’ suicides mean different things – girls are more easily “tempted” by death, and therefore, more likely to require saving when they inevitably regret their suicide. While Wonder Egg Priority, so far, seems to agree with the vague version of the mannequins’ conclusion, namely that boys’ and girl’s suicides mean different things, it refutes the gender-essentialist logic through which that conclusion was derived.

The mannequins choose a decidedly gender essentialist approach in explaining the difference between girls’ and boy’s suicides; they argue that the suicides are different because of some immutable characteristic of their mental hard wiring (in this case, impulsivity, emotionality, and influenceability). Obviously, this is a load of bull, and Wonder Egg Priority knows it. The mannequins are not exactly characters we’re supposed to trust, seeing that they’re running a business that is literally based on letting these kids put themselves in mortal danger. As faceless adult men, they parrot and possibly represent the systems that force these girls to continue to be subjected to physical and emotional trauma (it’s probably more complicated than this, but four episodes in, it’s hard to say more). So, we’re probably supposed to take what they say with great skepticism. Also, the director, Shin Wakabayashi, has recently said that in response to these lines, Neiru was originally going to object, “When it comes to their brains, boys and girls are also the same,” (which unfortunately is not exactly true and is somewhat of an oversimplification, but the sentiment is there). While that line ultimately did not make it in, Neiru does reply with a confused and somewhat indignant, “What?!”, a reaction that gets the message across.  Neiru is not a fan of gender essentialism, and as a (more) sympathetic character, we’re supposed to agree with her.

That is, the differences between boys and girls is not something inherent to their biology or character, but something constructed by culture and experience. This rejection of gender-essentialism is apparent in Wonder Egg Priority’s narrative, which takes a more sociocultural perspective on the difference between boys’ and girls’ suicides. It says, well of course boys’ and and girl’s suicides don’t mean the same thing, that’s the whole reason why we’re delving into the experiences specific to being a girl (cis or trans) or AFAB in this world – to show you how girls’ suicides are influenced by systems of oppression perpetuated by those in power (ie. the adult, in this specific anime).

And all the suicides we’ve seen up until now tie into that somehow. For instance, Koito is bullied by her female classmates who think that Sawaki is giving her special treatment. This is a narrative that comes up over and over again, in real life as well: that if a young girl is being given attention from an older man, then it’s her fault – that she must want it, or at least enjoy it somehow, and that it signifies a virtue (eg. maturity or beauty) on her part. And if Koito is actually being given such treatment by Sawaki, an adult man in a position of power over her, that is incredibly predatory. 

And we all know that child sexual abuse is something that overwhelmingly affects girls, with one out of nine experiencing it before the age of 18, as opposed to one out of 53 boys (Finkelhor et al., 2014). Regardless of whether Sawaki was actually abusing Koito or if the students only thought that he was, Koito’s trauma is ultimately the result of this romanticized “love between a young girl and adult man, but not because the man is predatory, but because the girl has some enviable virtue that makes her desirable” narrative. Similarly, in episode 2, Minami’s suicide is driven by ideas related to discipline and body image in sports, which while not necessarily specific to female and AFAB athletes, is framed in an AFAB-specific way. For instance, take the pressure on Minami to “maintain her figure”. Certainly, male athletes also face a similar pressure, but we know that AFAB and (cis and trans) female bodies are subject to closer scrutiny and criticism. We know that young girls are more likely to suffer from eating disorders. And Wonder Egg Priority situates Minami’s experience as decidedly “about” AFAB experience when her coach accuses her change of figure due to her period as a character failing on her part.

 Likewise, episode 3 delves into suicides related to “stan” culture, this fervent dedication to celebrities that is overwhelmingly associated to teenage girls. And Miwa’s story, in episode 4, explicitly shows how society responds to sexual assault. When Miwa does have the courage to speak up about her assault, she’s instantly reprimanded by basically everyone around her. Her father is fired because her abuser was an executive of his company. Her mother asks her why she couldn’t just bear with it, telling her that her abuser chose her because she was cute, as if that’s supposed to make her feel better about it. Wonder Egg Priority shows that this sort of abuse is a systemic problem, a set of rules and norms deeply engrained in a society and upheld by all adults, regardless of gender, social status, or closeness (to the victim). Wonder Egg Priority says that, yes, girls’ and boys’ suicides have different meanings, but it’s not due to some inherent difference between the two, but the hostile environment in which these girls grow up. Girls are not more easily “tempted” by death, they just have more societal bullshit to deal with.

But Wonder Egg Priority goes further than just showcasing how girls’ (and AFAB) experiences are shaped by sociocultural factors. The story also disproves the supposedly dichotomous characteristics that the mannequins use to differentiate girls and boys (i.e. influenceability/independence, impulsivity/deliberation, emotion-orientation/goal-orientation). If the mannequins are indeed correct, and that girls are just influenceable, impulsive, and emotional, you’d expect the girls in the story to be to be like such too. Except, they aren’t. Rather, they’re a mix of both/all characteristics. This show says that, certainly, girls can be suggestible, but they’re also capable of thinking for themselves. For instance, when Momoe asserts her own identity as a girl at the end of episode four, she rejects the words of those around her who insisted that she isn’t a girl. If she were as suggestible as the mannequins believe her to be, that would never have happened – she would have just continued believing that she wasn’t girl “enough”. But, she doesn’t because she is equally capable of making her own judgements. Likewise, Wonder Egg Priority shows that girls can be impulsive, but they can also be deliberate and pre-mediating. When Miwa tricks her Wonder Killer into groping her to create an opening for Momoe to defeat it, she’s not doing it out of impulse – it’s a pre-mediated and deliberate choice unto a goal. And Wonder Egg Priority continues, girls can be equally emotion oriented and goal oriented. Sure, the main girls are fighting because they have the goal of bringing their loved ones back to life, but those goals are motivated by a large range of emotions, from guilt to anger, grief, compassion, and love. 

Being emotion-driven doesn’t mean you’re not goal-driven, and vice versa. In fact, in this case, being emotional drives these girls toward their goals. In other words, none of these traits that the mannequins listed are either “girl traits” or “boy traits”. Being one does not mean you can’t be the other, even if they seem dichotomous at first. Wonder Egg Priority’s diverse cast of multi-dimensional female characters allows it to undermine the mannequins’ conceptualization of gendered roles, refuting the idea that these (or any) character traits should be consider gendered at all.

As an underdeveloped side thought, I think Wonder Egg Priority’s blurring of gendered roles is also well-reflected in its style. There’s been a lot of talk about whether Wonder Egg Priority constitutes a magical girl series, and I think that’s an interesting question deserving of its own essay. Certainly, it does follow the basic formula of the magical girl story: a teenage heroine ensemble wielding magical weapons saves the day. But it also throws out a lot of the conventions you’d expect of a magical girl story – both aesthetically and narratively. Aesthetically, it’s probably missing the component that most would consider the thing that makes an anime a magical girl anime: the full body transformation sequence, complete with the sparkles and the costume and all that. Narratively, the girls are also not really magical girl protagonist material – they’ve got a fair share of flaws, have done some pretty awful things (looking at Kawai in particular; I still love you though), and aren’t exactly the endlessly self-sacrificing heroines you’d expect from a typical magical girl story. On the other hand, the anime also borrows a lot from shonen battle anime. We get these dynamic, well choreographed action sequences full of horror and gore, the focus on the importance of camaraderie between allies (or “nakama”, as shonen anime would call it) exemplified through all the bonding between the main girls during their downtime, and in the necessary co-operation to bring down the Wonder Killers. That said, this anime is not a shonen; the characters, types of conflicts, and themes are quite different from those that you’d find in a typical shonen. The bleeding together of the shonen genre and the magical girl genre, at the very least (and I say this because I think it does way more than just that), reflects Wonder Egg Priority’s interest in rebelling against conventional narratives about girlhood and gender.