#so when i finish the line up itll look weird

[pesticidepvnk]

burps

[xamaxenta]

So I was looking through your art tag just to vibe cuz your work is fab and I came across the awesome Sabo Cauterizing His Own Wounds piece post Reverie and ended up thinking about how it's a common theme in One Piece that scars will hurt when the one who caused them is fucking around or getting up to no good.

And now all I can see in my minds eye is Sabo clutching at the scar on his stomach and clinging to the wall or the back of a chair because he had to treat the injury himself so it probably healed weird first of all, and second the five elders and Im are definitely up to no good.

Sabo knowing that one of them is nearby because he can feel it in the scar tissue that tears through his insides.

Also cuz I'm soft, imagine Sabo clutching his stomach over the scar mid hanging out with Ace so Ace gets to comfort him and hold him and I get to roll around squealing cuz they are so tender.

Awowu thank you anon !!! The post reverie cauterisation piece is a sleeper piece that got way more attention than I thought it would get and im really grateful people are enjoying it as much as me

I wish i had the guts to finish it as a full coloured piece but idk sketch form feels very raw too and i think if i ever revisit the idea itll be another moment, like i love how you mentioned the scars hurting theme in OP thats 👌🏽

Im on the move and Sabo just fucking feels that in his insides, missteps for a moment goes all pale and sweaty thats soooooo good

Like… what if another Lulusia? Can you imagine the blinding white pain Sabo felt then as he watched an entire island get “vaporised”? I love that panel i want to explore that Sabo expression more irs delightful Oda pls i demand more !!

But you have me thinking about Sabo weak from bloodloss freshly weeping burns painted across his stomach, its distressing perhaps that he doesnt feel that sort of pain anymore, maybe its because hes been burned before, maybe its because he’s the one who did it this time— watching as lulusia is wiped off the face of the grand line and his gut that puncture wound he sealed is fucking burning, lightheaded he just manages to catch himself against the ledge of the small skiff boat theyre fleeing in and just vomits blood and bile and ghskfbrn

Man…

And you also mention Ace lives too and wwwww yeah Ace who also has a . Ahem puncture scar to flaunt get it, he understands and im always very excited to see them hurt comfort together as long as its happy ending bc ill cry if it isnt!!!

Thank you for the super sweet ask anon

[winderlylandchime]

I swear my brother is born under some weird lucky star because the neighbor who turned 50 this weekend has seen qaf! And he loved Brian. He even got something signed by the cast all those years ago and the second he revealed that, you could actually see my brother come to life. And when they got to talking about the show and my brother told (only) him in confidential whispers what he at the moment thinks the finale will be, all I heard from my neighbor was ‘oh you poor thing.’ And my dumb brother, with the biggest smile on his face went ‘i feel the same way, i cant believe im so close to the finish line.’ Dumb doesn’t even begin to cover how he can is at times. And his promise flew out the window because they ended up talking about qaf for at least an hour. OH! And i almost forgot, his version of a ‘totally different shirt than my own! I swear! Itll be special just for the birthday boy’ is that he wrote Team Brian inside a giant heart. That was it. The birthday guy did look at it and went ‘this is not something I expected to get at 50 but im okay with it’

Oh dear sweet anon I am laughing so hard right now. HE PUT TEAM BRIAN IN A HEART ON A T SHIRT AS A 50TH BIRTHDAY PRESENT. He misinterpreted the neighbor telling him “oh you poor thing” about his predictions for s5 as being sad he only has two seasons left. Oh… your brother is going to be devastated. I don’t know where you are but I think we’re at least 1000 miles apart and I’m worried I’m going to be able to hear his wails from here.

[ramonaofmanyfandoms]

vent incoming

just saw an artpiece on twitter with pretty much the exact same concept as something ive been meaning to make for more than half a year but couldnt because of executive dysfunction and the general stress drawing causes me and now i feel so empty cause the idea was a product of my mind running in weird directions and i thought it was so unique and cool now i just feel like a failure because my stupid brain wont let me work on things i like and itll probably take me months to ever even start on it and if i do ill feel the need to overexplain the origins and make sure its clear i didnt copy someone else's concept and panic over it and im just tired of constantly having to deal with so many mental obstacles just to make something when i know it takes other people a third of the effort... cause for valkyrie specifically i have so many ideas that i love coming up with that make me so happy and excited but im so scared someone else will make them first and then ill feel like i cant do it anymore and now it actually happened and im scared itll eventually happen with all my ideas cause looking at my current pace ill be done with all of them just about when i retire 😑

Only silver lining here is that at least the art i saw didnt make me feel bad about my own because of the wildly different tones so its just the concept thats the same but if i ever finish my own piece itll still feel so fucking uncomfortable and nervewracking to post even tho i really want to gather the courage to post more art in general

[anxiousnerdwritings]

3rd part lmao imma be writing this shit until I die damn bro. also tw drugging, doesnt come until the end tho

~~~~

running from 4 symbiotes (one of them being a god) wasnt too fun, especially considering the fact that your legs were starting to burn. but toxin never stopped for a second, he only kept on running from the fight behind the two of you.

when you tripped and fell, he picked you up and carried you, giving your legs a well deserved break.

the two of you continued on like that for a while when you were both met with the end of the large forest. it was absolute silence besides the breathe of you and toxin.

although it was faint, you both were able to see the city line, glowing like a light house in the middle of an ocean.

however, before the both of you were able to figure out what to do next, you heard a screech come from the forest. the large footsteps of someone running, their feet pounding into the ground.

"______, where the FUCK are you?!"

well, theres carnage.

toxin wasted no time, setting you down, leaning you onto a tree, and pretended to be inspecting your wounds. hes not gonna fall for that, toxin, you thought, hearing the stomping approach the two of you.

toxin wasted no time, and looked at you with a I'm sorry look before creating a sharp nail and making a small cut on the back of your lower leg. you hissed, and while it was unbearable, it wasnt a nice feeling.

carnage appeared right after, looming over the two of you, before looking at your leg and seeing that it was bleeding.

toxin was faster then carnage, however, and he quickly healed the wound faster then he made it.

carnage seemed to calm down a bit before he picked you up and motioned for toxin to follow him.

☆

carnage carried you all the way to a little run down apartment, not the same one you remember before the wars but an apartment all the same. he set you down in front of the door before dragging you inside.

toxin followed, and saw the shitty conditions of the apartment. the walls were cracked, the countertops and floor were covered in either dust or dirt, the paint inside and outside was peeling and to top it off, it was cramped. extremely cramped.

carnage let you go before heading to the kitchen area, and came back with some water.

"here." he said, handing the glass to you. you gave a nod before gulping it down, a new thirst coming from your absolute marathon in the woods.

toxin sat on a foldable chair next to the wall watching as you handed back the glass to kasady, who had changed back to himself

cletus looked at the glass for a moment, inspecting the bottom of the glass, before smiling and going back to the other room to put the glass away.

you turned to toxin, whispering, "what are we gonna do?"

toxin replied, "we stay here. dont you remember the rule of the adoption wars?"

you smiled and had to stifle a laugh.

"you know, when I made that nickname for it, I wasnt thinking they were gonna go this far for me."

toxin was about to reply but cletus came back in and looked at the both of you, before saying, "____, you must feel really tired right now, dont you?"

you looked at him, puzzled for a second, before the confusion turned to drowsiness. you went to stand up but instead you had to hold yourself up with a nearby table.

toxin quickly went over to you, and helped you back onto the chair. he looked at you, seeing your eyelids droop, before he turned back to cletus.

cletus gave an innocent smile before he said, "is she tired or...?"

toxin turned back to you, and seeing you almost fall over made him look for a comfortable place for you to sleep. he saw a room that probably led to a bedroom and putting one arm around his shoulder, he dragged you into the somewhat nicer looking room and plopped you down onto the bed.

when he was sure that you were asleep, he turned back to the doorway, seeing cletus leaning on it. he stood up straight, puffing his chest out.

"I dont think it's a good idea to try and drug her again, cletus. wont make her trust you."

cletus' smile vanished as he walked away.

"listen here, kid, I don't like doing it anymore then you do, but I need her to be calm so te others wont find her here. besides, this place is temporary I'm getting a new place. one where itll be much more harder for any of them to find her. so calm down, relax and make sure she doesnt try to leave, will ya? I'll be back in a bit."

as cletus was enveloped by carnage, and he opened a window to swing out of, toxin was starting to wonder why he even put up with anyone's bullshit

~~~~~

ack I finished it and my fingers are sore. I'm thinking of just submitting these stories but then I would have to reveal my identity which makes me uncomfortable for some weird ass reason. also is his name spelt with a c or a k I've been saying cletus for all my life I dont he has another way of spelling it but I could be wrong lmao. anyway thanks for reading this, I have no idea what to do with my life - knull anon

Wow! You’re really delivering with these, Knull anon!! I get excited whenever I see you send another one in😊. And yeah Cletus is spelt with a C but Kasady is with a K.

Also, I think you can submit anonymously but if you’d like you can send a test submission in and if you’re username pops up I can just delete it but if you’re still uncomfortable with that then it’s all good😊.

[caandlelit]

omg werewolf matsukawa elaborate i want dem hcs

ok so ive got this horrible word doc with my jambled mess of a concept for this witch makki werewolf matsun fic im writing its like 3% done expect it within 2 business years

(edit. this post is too long but i cant stop typing this is good)

werewolf matsun is the SEXIEST idea ever anyone thats done it is doing gods work because that shit is hot . its fucking sexy okay

in my barely formed au he becomes a werewolf in third year

he hears about weird sounds in the forest at night ok

and he convinces witch hanamaki that they shld camp out and see what it is 

because he’s been so interested in the witchy supernatural shit since even before he met him 

and hanamaki is like okay fine But im wearing my warding pendent and matsukawa is like WHEN WILL U ADMIT YOU’RE A WITCH and hanamaki, mid-putting on his witch hat, ruffles his hair and says idk what ur talking about

they camp out and they’re just bantering and its cute and fun for 2 hours then

matsun hears growling and snapping noises and he’s like hanamaki stay in the fuckin tent 

and obviously hanamaki is like on god that is the stupidest thing uve ever said issei no

 and matsukawa steps outside and he holds a hand back to stop makki and he steps out and looks around, eyes narrows 

and he’s like … straightening up and furrows his brows and ‘theres nothing here’ 

and he feels like everything is slow and odd and unreal and he turns and sees bright, yellow eyes and he hears the snarl and jerks back 

and he’s being attacked and leaped upon and he shouts curses and screams and theres sharp teeth at his side and the smell of matted fur 

and hanamaki sprints out and ?? magic spells it away (leave me alone) 

what is the spell? what kindof witch is hanamaki? what does he say?

(begone thot!) 

the wolf creature howls and thuds off, fast and loping and hanamaki turns and he’s panicked and is like ‘issei? oh FUCK’

matsukawa is like fuck fuck fuck 

leaning against a tree and lightheaded and he collapses, head back against the trunk and sweat pouring down his temples, iron in his mouth where hes biting his tongue to keep from scremaing at the sharp pain

touches his side and his fingers come away bloody 

his breath is heavy and hes like takahiro im dying 

and hanamaki’s dropping down beside him and lifts his arm and says shut the fuck up you’re not dying you asshole and hes sniffling 

and matsuns like im sorry i dragged u out here and hanamaki’s like shut up shut up. issei. shit . issei you were right 

and hes like wh what was i right about and hes like you were right. im a witch . and youre not fucking dying here, asshole

issei mumbles fuck yeah and does like a little fist pump

and he whispers a spell to carry him over back to his house 

and he bandages him up and matsun is tired and in pain and staring at him in the moonlight 

MONDAY

go to school and matsun has white bandages wrapped around his side hidden under his shirt and hes a little scraped up even though hanamaki healed and cleaned up as much as he could

someones like oooh matsukawa your arm is scraped up wtf 

and hes like yeah man i got in a fight to protect takahiros honor 

makki’s like yeah…. :/// he lost 

and matsuns like shut up asshole and theyre laughing and theyre good theyre okay 

half way through the school day, long and tired and the bell seems louder and harsher and shriller and everything is too bright and loud and making his eyes and ears hurt 

in the bathroom matsun takes off the tape bc hes feeling nauseous and everything feels a little too much for some reason hes assuming bc of the wound, maybe its infected

and he checks it while hes inside and the bandages come off and 

its clean no bite no blood no mark 

and he stares at it and says what the fuck and texts hanamaki 

and hanamaki sees the text and its just ‘SOS BATHROOM NOW PLELASE’ 

asks his teacher to let him go to the bathroom and he steps into the bathroom and matsun spins around and gestures at his side and chest wordlessly 

hanamaki like blinks at the sight of matsuns abs and then blinks again at the healed skin and hes like what the fuck  

so

he has sharper vision and sense of smell and hearing 

and hes like takahiro……..everything feels horrible and too much and hanamaki’s like ok so what do u want me to do knock u out so u don’t feel anything? and matsukawa’s like huh actually and hana’s like Shut up Dumbass

werewolf matsukawa suddenly stronger and hanamaki so so bitter about it ignoring his personal ‘im attracted to him’ feelings and pretending hes mad abt the super strength

matsukawa’s eyes glinting yellow on occasion and hanamaki trying not to scream bc god that’s sexy

the day they see the healed skin they like walk home silent and shell shocked 

matsukawa staring hollowly at the sidewalk his posture lost

hanamaki squinting off into the distance

makki opening his mouth angrily at one point

only to close it defeatedly bc he cant even……

a conversation in hanamaki’s bedroom along the lines of 

‘issei why is my life literally teen wolf why am I stiles from teen wolf’ 

matsun perks up ‘oh that’s dylan o briens character right? does that make me derek !!!’ 

and hanamaki turns from where hes muttering angrily and squints at him and says slowly

‘why the fu- dude? u r scott ??? because u are a FUCKING WEREWOLF ??????? why would u be derek ???? ur my best friend that turned into a GODDAMN WEREWOLF-‘ 

‘okok calm down hiro fine fine chill out‘ 

matsuns like slumping like ‘ugh, scott. i don’t wanna be scott hes painfully straight-‘ 

and hanamakis like throwing his hands up and shouting like ‘SO THEN !! why would u want to be derek!!!’ 

and issei’s like ‘…….nevermind we r not in the state to have a conversation about teen wolf, a show neither of us finished and obviously dont have any knowledge about’

im gonna have it properly set in 2013 itll be so cringey and fun

matsukawa also has insomnia and and gets migraines sometimes 

and hanamaki’s witchy incense smelling house and bedroom having him nodding off so easily and he sleeps over a lot 

especially after he gets bitten, because the migraines get worse

moreso near the full moon

and he comes in through the window and hanamaki is half asleep but always automatically pulls up his blanket and lets him in

big spoon matsun

he curls into his chest as best as he can, pressed tight between the wall and matsukawa

also i have this 

italics: makki

bold: mattsun

list of signs pointing towards issei probably being a werewolf: 

got bit by a giant dog-creature the bite mark disappeared next day (???? freaky shit)

sudden super healing and durability (useful for when oikawa serves the ball into your head – lmfao)

sudden heightened senses (my headaches r .. multiplying - :( )

sudden super strength (fuck u issei – i didn’t ask to be bitten takahiro – oh no u were bitten how sad for u and ur six pack – the werewolf actually decided i deserve super strength bc of how cool i am – and immeasurable pain every full moon too huh ???? – ...sacrifices were made)

90% sure he got stupider – sign of a dog brain ?? (FUCK OFF – do u want me to explain what a percentage is <3 – no </3)

hair growth (wtf does that mean ??? – it means i suddenly have more chest hair its very weird – ngl to u u were already pretty hairy -  fucker)

eyes turn yellow sometimes (wait, really????? – yes its so fucking weird – that sounds fucking epic actually – no comment)

big dick energy went up the ROOF (ok that’s enough asshole – tell me im lying hiro.)

edit: ok the full moon happened we’re all traumatized and hes definitely a FUCKING werewolf.

ill finish this as a fic one day ill post when i do

might also make a useless porno oneshot with just werewolf matsukawa and ? possibly dancer makki im very into dancer makki atm

long post im very sorry but !!!! thanks for the ask 

[shiro-0197]

aw shiro, my love, don't worry about it!! i only hope you're okay and safe :d please only reply when you're free, and don't feel bad about it!! >:(

my day yesterday was okay, i've just been relaxing, and studying occasionally. went out to explore a nearby town too, it's so pretty there. and much colder (since it's a highlands) of course!! Today was great too. I bought doughnuts (they're amazing?? I love doughnuts), and I had instant ramen, but it was SO spicy I nearly died. (Three bottles of water later, because someone finished all the milk in the household *cough* me *cough*) and I'm still just reeling. Sucks having such low spice tolerance HAHA. I'm listening to some old school hip-hop rn, while typing this out :D how were your two days?

here are some i'll be using to teach english :d and that would honestly be much appreciated, he's getting on my last nerve rn. (I included the first few, what do you think?)

thats such a priceless feeling i so totally agree. you're so precious 🥺🥺 i'm sure they're prouder thank you imagine. you're so dedicated!! i'm sure all that extra research you've done will definitely pay off. it's good that you know what the job is roughly like, so you'll be really prepared when you finally do start it. you know that one scene, in the 2nd season of the great pretender? when the chinese mafia boss emphasizes the importance of a translator in literally everything? (like that book award example) i may be getting the thing muddled up, but i found that so cool. like yeah, a book or speech could be absolutely beautiful, but if everyone can't enjoy it due to it being a different language, it would be such a shame. i just find translators really important. sorry, i'm really dorky haha 🥺🥺

awww but i think your personality type is wonderful. a lot of my favourite characters are intj (they're all so precious istg grrrr) yes!! i was in a tooru brainrot yesterday too 😭😭😭 (saw a bunch of couples on my walk, and I was like "if only Tooru was real grrrr") and yes?? there'd be so much to learn from each and every one of them. dedication from hinata, savage lines from tsukki, kindness from yams/yachi, how to be a dork 101 from atsumu. aaaah 😭😭i'm sorry they're all so wonderful.

No pftttt I totally feel you. I saw some people without masks today and I was like "bro wtf" and just really loudly said "I sure hope everyone starts following the rules so the cases don't increase" because I'm a lil bitch like that xD

awww okay!! I'll definitely keep that in mind. Mayo makes everything better, tbh >.< aww that's understandable! I don't have specific preferences but hearing the phrase "soggy cheese" makes me want to cry somewhere :( I don't like nuts in chocolate. I'm very passionate about that? XD ikr??

I'm surprised too, I usually never pass on murder, but I guess you're just special like that 👉👈 sir I'd get married to you as many times as you'd like 😼 oops sorry for being cheesy, but—you like cheese ;)

U

I won't ask why, don't worry. Since I kinda feel the same about Malaysia tbh. It's a love hate relationship, I think HAHA but yeah 😣😣 i don't look up to US at all, and it sucks because people generally do. And I'm just like ;-; why (no offense to Americans tho lol)

is that even legal omg they're so chaotic?? XD how cute tho. Angel does stuff like that all the time too, but I'd never know that when I first met her (she has the most perfect exterior, and then when you get to know her; she's the biggest dork) Schools opening on the 20th, I can't wait to see her then :] (I can, however, wait for the exams which are scheduled for the 25th ugh)

peanut butter is indeed yellow, not up for discussion hehe :) here's my favourite hues!! I love gentle, soft hues like these (pastels) , for yellow; I don't have a favourite. they're all wonderful

ahhh no that's so precious of you!! :)) I'm smiling rn.

yeah skdhskdjsk I'M JUST SO GRRR. Whenever someone goes "hey Ari can you ______" and we both respond?? The tension?? In the air?? Bro skdjskks. 😔🤚 You share a name with one of the most precious characters too tho!!;

This is Shiro from Voltron hehe. I love him so much, just like I love you (tho I'm sure we both know I love you more <3)

I share a name with a book character. His name is Aristotle Mendoza, but his crush-turned-boyfriend calls him "Ari" (which has been my nickname since I was 12). Reading it for the first time was the BEST feeling ever. It's also my favourite book, "Aristotle and Dante discover the secrets of the universe".

—Ari :D (no pfttt I love the tag so much. I have my own tag, that's like the best thing ever 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺)

Heyyy I'm so sorry for answering so late!! I know you said not to apologize but..... well hmm no excuse I just feel like apologizing, but either way thank you for your patience!!♡ This is the third time I'm rewriting this, and this time I'm doing this in my notes because fuck it😔

Im glad to hear that!! Highlands are always so pretty. Wish we had those here, but it's only steppe here:( Boring~ ooh, donuts!!! They're really good. I havent much, but I tried them like 3 times and they're so good. I really hope I will get to eat more<3 also WHAT'S THOSE NOODLES' NAME I WANNA KNOW- Are you feeling okay now, though? XD

My days were nice!!! Felt as if I had been hiding three bodies, but I've been feeling better lately. We had online school yesterday so I'm excused from the errands for the half of the day, thankfully. But your messages make me very happy. Though I dont always feel like writing a response (or I get stressed because it doenst save) so very sorry for that😔

Ohh those look so pretty!! I'd totally join to just look at them. The colors are so nice🥺 it looks like one of our olympiad prep slides, though better. I dont have the screenshots sadly😩 Either way I really love the little details like the squiggly thingies or the Ж .... they seem unnecessary but the energy changes a lot without them hehe

I really hope they will be🥺 that'd mean a lot to me. And I'm also really hopeful itll work out. I really don't wanna disappoint my family, which is literally just one person. The less people there are, the more it hurts, you know?

Yeah, that scene meant so much to me!! I dknt remember much, but I was very happy they said something like that, because I've been told being a translator wont work out for me. Now look at me, I'm about to tell them to fuck themselves<3 I was also so surprised to see Laurent know that many languages ..... I aspire to be like him😩 And honestly, I havent though so deep of that but you opened my eyes and now I'm about to float off into the next universe😭 dont apologize though, its very cute!!!♥︎♥︎

Heheh, I guess you're right.. every single anime INTJ is a silent sexy mastermind and I love them . ... YEAH every single time I see a passing couple i cry because I dont have anyone 😡💔 and sometimes when I see people doing something amusing (which includes people failing cuz I'm evil) I just imagine one of the characters doing that and I smile all the way xD Honestly, I'd sell my father on black market for a single day with one of them:( though that may sound like a really low price because his cigarette filled lungs wouldnt cost a lot... I sound like my 7th grade self again I'm so sorry

BAHQHHANEJWJD I HOPE THEY WERE EMBARRASED. I HOPE THEY FELT AWKWARD AND OTHER PEOPLE DID TOO, they deserve it. Like, learn your lesson bitch, it's been a year!

Yeah!!! I love mayo, not to the point where I would gulp it down from the package, but it does make dishes taste good. Same, soggy cheese on itself sounds like a dish served in the ninth circle of hell. You should try nuts in honey!! Like, just straight up dip them in honey. Sounds weird, and it doesnt always taste NEJFJKSKF (depends on the honey)but I think it's worth trying xD Walnuts are the best with honey I think

That was so funny ... TOO FUNNY, I LAUGHED FOR LIKE . 3MINUTES STRAIGHT and I do not laugh when I'm tired. You really are special 😭😭😭😭 cheesy ... HAHRNFJJSF

I'm so sorry for being a bully like that but it's so funny how you left a single U there . Its so mysterious, was it in purpose? Or were you lost in the excitement if messaging me?

I was one of those people, honestly 😭 but mostly because I wasnt aware of its political condition, I guess. Maybe theres more than just politics that's bad about US, but honestly, it has more opportunities than this hellfire. Though now I'm more into Norway and Japan. Really wanna travel there :(

Heheh, yeah, we never really show off to strangers at first. I dont know what exactly I mean by we, but you get my point ♡ Good luck though!! I hope it goes well for you<3

Oh they looks so pretty!! They're really wonderful. Like bubblegum and cotton candy and literally anything sweet... it's so cute !!! And I totally agree, there isnt a bad yellow.

HAHAH, honestly, that reminds me of how there were 4 people with the same name in my class, and whenever the teacher did the attendance thing, they would all stand up. Teachers usually dont say the last names, so we always gotta ask which person they mean if theres more than one person with that name, so yeah.. That happened on accident at first, but then they just did it for trolling xD

OH MY GOD HES SO PRETTY? HES SO PRECIOUS?? HUHHH??? I gotta thank Kuro for this wonderful opportunity of sharing a name with someone like .... him🥺

Oh that's so cool!! Also, he has a boyfriend ... I really need to start reading xD it's so cute though! It sounds like such a good book, I'm glad you share a name with him, hehe!!

I also share my real name with one of the characters in a kids' show, and its SO ugly, I'm in pain. Every time my friends see one of those on TV they go

Which is a pain in the ass, it's so embarrassing...........

Awh, okay!! I'm glad you love it, cuz I do too. Because it's your name.... cuz I love u. That was so lame PLEASEJWJDJSJF I HOPE YOUR DAY WAS GREAT !!! LOVE YOU

[pandawritespoorly]

With Time: Chapter 12 - Coolest Dad

Author’s Note: Double update, like I said! I'll be back Saturday as usual, though. Reference slide for akuma here! 

Chapter Summary: Ladybug deals with an akuma at Marinette's new school.

First | Previous | Saturday

Marinette woke up much later than normal. She could immediately tell that her fever had gone down some. Her memories of the day before were hazy at best, but she was pretty sure Allan, Claude, Allegra, Felix, and Adrien had come over. Maybe Chat Noir too? 

Her parents had clearly decided to allow her to stay home from school, which was probably for the best. She sat up, drawing the attention of her Kwami.

“Marinette! You’re awake! How are you feeling?” Tikki flitted up to her face.

“Uh, a little tired? But I think that’s just from the cold…”

Tikki handed her a thermometer so she could check her temperature. As they waited for the reading, Tikki crossed her arms and looked at her disapprovingly, “Marinette, you overworked yourself on Saturday. You probably gave yourself a fever. You have to take care of yourself more!”

The thermometer beeped and Marinette looked at it, 37.7 (100℉). Her fever wasn’t as serious now. That and the heaters that seemed to have been set up probably contributed to the fact that she is lucid now.

When did the heaters get set up?

“Speaking of taking care of yourself…” Tikki draws the girls attention back to her, “Chat Noir told me what you said when you got hit.” Her voice is serious.

“W-what did I say…” How much of a disappointment did she end up being?

“A bunch of nonsense, that’s what! Marinette you are a wonderful and talented girl who deserves every opportunity you’ve gotten! How long have you felt like this?”

“L-like what?”

“Oh Marinette. You called yourself useless. You said all your old friends treated you the way you deserve and are right to hate you. That’s not okay Marinette.”

“O-oh.” Marinette had been dedicated the past few weeks to committing those things into her mind as fact. Tikki might as well have been trying to convince her that 2+2=5. Something just doesn’t add up. “But-”

“Marinette. None of that is true. None of it. I think you should talk to someone.”

“But they can’t know about Ladybug…”

“You still need help.”

“It feels wrong to keep something like that from a therapist. They’re supposed to know everything right? I don’t like the feeling of it…”

“Alright. If you don’t feel comfortable with therapy at least speak to your friends. They care about you.”

“I don’t know…”

Their conversation is interrupted when Sabine opens the trapdoor carrying a tray with a small lunch of soup and water - with some cookies because her parents have noticed her sudden hunger for the treat. Tikki hides behind a pillow.

“Hey sweetie, are you awake?”

“Yeah. Uh, what time is it?”

“Time for you to eat lunch. What’s your temperature? You were pretty out of it yesterday. Your friends were really worried about you.”

“37.7 (100℉).” Marinette accepts the tray, setting it safely on a flat surface. She hears a ‘ding’ from below. Her Maman looks over to her desk. 

“Oh, you’ve got messages from your friends! Here!” She handed the phone up as well, “It’s good that your temperature has gone down. Be sure to eat!”

When she’s exited the room, Tikki floats back into view, looking at the phone, she gives Marinette a meaningful look, “You should talk to your friends!”

She floats to sit beside the bowl of soup on the tray. She munches on a cookie and watches the girl.

“Okay…” She opens her phone. There hadn’t been much activity in their group chat because it was a school day. Beneath Claude’s good morning text was another message from the actor. Another appeared just as she opened the chat.

 Kid Mime: hey mari are you up yet

Kid Mime: its fine if ur not but we misssss uuuuuu

 Patisserie Princess: I’m up

 Kid Mime: yayyyyyy!!!!!!!!

Kid Mime: allan sayd to ask wat ur temp is

 Patisserie Princess: 37.7 (100℉)

 Kid Mime: thats better! 

Kid Mime: hey can we facetime? Itll be easier

Kid Mime: neither of us can eat if were typin

 That’s a good point. She’s got nothing against it, but maybe she should warn Tikki.

“Hey Tikki, I’m going to facetime them. Is that alright?” “It’s okay Marinette. I won’t show up on camera and they won’t be able to hear me either!”

Right. She’d forgotten about that. She nods, and starts a call. It doesn’t take long for Claude to pick up. She props her phone up so that she doesn’t have to hold it.

“Yay! Hi Mari! Alright I’m at the table now, so I’m going to prop- oh no you fell over - okay there you are!” 

The camera clears as Claude moves back. She can see Felix and Allan there too, Allegra is probably still in line.

“Hi guys!” She waves at them in view of the camera.

“Hi! How are you feeling?” Allan sounds concerned, which, given what had happened last he’d seen her, made sense.

“Uh, a little better. I’ve got food, and the fever isn’t as bad as yesterday. I’m a little tired but that’s normal.”

Allegra arrives at the table halfway through her talking and waves at her when she notices the girl.

“What do you mean by that? I recall Adrien mentioned something similar yesterday, but did not have a lot of information.” Felix looks up questioningly from his lunch.

“Oh yeah. I meant to tell you guys when it became more relevant, but uh, then I kind of overworked all my stamina away? Heh. Basically, last year I got diagnosed with a ‘yet-to-be-identified’ medical condition’” She scoffs at the air-quoted words, and the others get the distinct feeling that there’s an inside joke that they’re missing, “The general gist of it is that my body tries to go into hibernation? I get hungrier in the fall and once it gets around November I get really tired - the colder and later into winter the worse it is - and forget to eat and stuff.”

The others look a little alarmed at this and she quickly adds on,”I mean, it’s really not that dangerous for me. As long as I have food I uh, generally remember. And the tiredness isn’t really a problem as long as I stay warm. I probably won’t actually hibernate unless I fall into a snowdrift or something-”

Just as she finishes speaking a school bell rings. It’s from Françoise Dupont, and it’s a reminder of the consequences of staying home today. She tenses immediately, thinking of all of her old classmates who are right there. Right across the street and heading out for lunch. They’re probably with Lila and-

“What would happen then?” Allegra’s voice draws her back. She blinks as she jolts out of her thoughts.

“W-what?” Oh, right, the snowdrift thing…”I would uh, probably just fall asleep and stay there. My parents don’t really want me to go outside alone after there’s snow on the ground.”

“Can’t blame ‘em.” Allan jumps in. So far none of them have mentioned her little ‘moment’ after the school bell. “We can keep an eye on ya’. Don’t want you to freeze.” He sounds distressed, probably at the prospect of Marinette freezing to death.

“It’s really not that likely! I’ll just be really sleepy, so I’ll probably fall asleep on at least one of you by the time winter is over - whichever of you is the warmest in the room. Sorry in advance?” She says the last part sheepishly and shrugs apologetically. She hates to think that she’ll be such a bother to them, but there isn’t much she can do. She’ll try her best to avoid it.

“It’s all good! As long as you’re not in any danger, we don’t mind!” Allan speaks again and the rest nod in agreement.

“Mariiiiii! You haven’t been eating!” Claude calls her out as he swallows some of his own food.

She smiles in apology as she brings her tray into her lap. She can see that, as Tikki reminded her, the Kwami doesn’t show up on camera. Her phone dings as she sits back. Squinting at it as she reads, she flips it away. 

“Adrien says he can’t get away, so he won’t be joining us. Uh, do you guys still need his number?” She looks at them questioningly as she starts on her soup.

“Nope!” Claude chirps, “I got it yesterday!” The others give him some odd looks, but she brushes them off. It probably doesn’t matter.

“Yeah, sorry about yesterday. I don’t really remember much. I know you guys came over - I think?”

“Yeah, Adrien thought we should check on you because it was November, and when we got to your place you were pretty out-of-it.”

“You didn’t like we were interrupting your sleep, it took some convincing to get you to actually drink something.”

“Are the heaters set up now? I recall that we did not do so because Allan feared it may cause you to be too hot.”

She nods, though she isn’t entirely sure when that happened. Maybe her parents? Her fevered mind clearly didn’t think it was important enough information to remember.

Their conversation continues as they all eat theirs lunches together. After a little bit she starts to droop. It’s a clear reminder that she isn’t entirely recovered, and that winter is on it’s way.

She doesn’t plan on saying anything because it would be rude to cut off the conversation. Marinette tries her best to seem alert, but the others aren’t fooled.

“‘Nettie, you doin’ okay? You’re looking a little sleepy there.” Allan smiles at her, cocking his head.

She shrugs and any words she was going to say get cut off by a yawn. She blushes.

“We’re going to let you go now. You need some rest.” Allegra flutters her fingers at the camera.

“Rest well my priceless pigtailed pal!” The group waves as the call ends.

Tikki floats up to her,”Marinette, I know you’re tired but you can’t sleep with the tray on your lap.”

“...right” She moves it safely away before she lays down again. It doesn’t take long for her to doze off.

 ---

 Marinette manages to arrive at school the next day at a reasonable time. She gets to their regular spot in the library and lays her head on the table. The only problem with so many heaters in her room is that it makes the outside seem that much colder, especially when she’s still got a (very) slight fever. She isn’t in her heaviest winter gear because she doesn’t want to seem weird and it’s only November anyways, she’ll manage. Her mom gave her a doctor’s note to show all her teachers to remind them of her ‘condition’.

Honestly the most annoying part of it not being that cold is that she feels tired, but she isn’t sleepy to the point where she can actually sleep. She just feels like she didn’t get enough sleep, even though she spent plenty of yesterday resting.

“Oh my good golly gosh, did Marinette beat us to school?” She hears Claude as he approaches the table and forces herself up to look at him.

“Hi guys.” She can’t muster up the energy to add in the appropriate excitement. Maybe they won’t hate her if she’s still friendly. They put up with her through September…

“How are ya’? I wasn’t sure we’d see you today.” Allan sits at his usual spot and the rest follow suit.

“Yeah. I’m basically back to normal. Just tired.”

“It is good that your fever seems to have passed.” Felix says as he gets out his book as usual.

“It is good to have you back!” Claude gives her an excited hug. He glances at Allegra who is finishing her math homework, “Hey, why do you think math books are so sad?”

Marinette is too tired to try and stop him, but Allegra glances up. 

“Don’t you da-”

“Because they have so many problems!” He finishes excitedly, giving no heed to Allegra’s pleading.

Allegra drops her head onto the table and sighs heavily. Felix pats her on the back consolingly.

“Did you hear about that guy who got his left side cut off?”

Marinette sighs. At least when she was feverish she couldn’t remember the puns.

“He’s all right now!”

“Claude.” Allegra pleads, “I can’t do homework in the midst of this.”

“What gender pronouns do you use for chocolate bars? Her/she!”

“Marinette I’m sorry that you had to return to this. There’s no end to his madness.” Allegra has yet to remove her head from the table. Claude’s grin only continues to grow. Allan is smiling as he watches. Felix is focusing intensely on his book.

“Ah, ‘legra. Look on the bright side. At least your music class is your last hour.”

The braided blonde finally sits up and glares at him suspiciously.

“That way you can end your day on a high note!” Claude’s looks at her, the pinnacle of innocence.

“No. Nope. I’m done.” She pushes herself up and packs up quickly. Felix glances at his watch and follows suit, “It’s close enough to first hour. Come on Mari, let’s leave these crazies to their insanity.”

“Let’s.” Marinette pushes herself out of her seat, and waves as they leave the library.

 ---

 Allan and Marinette arrive at the lunch room together and claim the group’s usual table. Felix joins soon after.

“Greetings my great, glorious, and grand group!” Claude and Allegra arrive together, taking their seats.

“Please spare us the puns.”

“We’ll see…”

Marinette is about to say something when something catches her eye. There seems to be a girl in a heated argument with her father. She turns from him and returns to her seat, but that’s not what drew her eye initially. She could have sworn she saw…

There.

A purple butterfly floats near the man’s head. Before she can say anything, it makes contact with his glasses.

Marinette stands immediately, drawing the attention of her group.

“Is everything o-”

“Ineedtogonowbye!” With that rushed excuse she hurries off to be out of sight. As she transforms she hears the screams as people realize what has happened. She sends a text to her partner and heads to the roof to await his arrival. It would be strange for Ladybug to show up so soon, especially when there had never been an attack here before. 

It would also be for the best. Akumas in smaller spaces could be extra difficult, especially when the duo didn’t know anything about their powers. It may be for the best to just wait for Chat Noir.

“Hey Bug!” Speak of the devil, here’s her partner. He seems tenser than usual. Probably because the last time they’d spoke- no, that isn’t for Ladybug, that’s for Marinette. Ladybug doesn’t need to feel.

“Hey Chat, I haven’t seen much of the akuma yet. I figured it would be best to wait for you-”

An explosion shakes the building they’re standing on. They meet each other’s eyes and move to enter the building. When an akuma causes damage they prefer to finish it quickly to lessen any risk of injury.

They arrive in the mostly empty cafeteria to see a hole blown in the wall and a few… interestingly dressed stragglers wandering about. Some have leaked out into the street. The akuma is in another part of the school, they can hear his voice echoing down the halls and follow the sound. Soon enough, they find him.

The man Marinette saw earlier has doubled in height, and has had an extreme outfit change. He’s donned an oversized hoodie covered in various emoji prints. He’s wearing rainbow tie-dye converse shoes that double as pants and seem to be denim. There are rips in various places up the pants but the lace cross over them, tying near his hips. On top of the shoe-pants he’s wearing Shrek crocs, and is wandering around on a gold light-up hoverboard. Around his neck is a glowing set of headphones with lights and animal ears. He’s got airpods in and pizza hat on his head. He’s wearing oversized glowing neon shutter shades that shift between different colors - much like the other light-up pieces of his ensemble. The source of the explosion becomes clear when he makes finger guns at the wall and an emoji shoots out and explodes it easily.

They remain some distance away, and he hasn’t noticed them yet. Ladybug sighs tiredly, she almost wants to cry looking at this mess, “Sometimes I wish Hawkmoth was some sort of fashion designer because these designs are just…they’re honestly almost the worst part of this.”

“My eyes.” Chat stares, “As a teenager, I don’t know if I should appreciate the effort or feel insulted someone thinks that is an accurate summary of my age group.”

The emojis that are being used as projectiles don’t just get rid of walls though. Ladybug and Chat Noir watch as an unfortunate student get hit by a fire emoji and and gains the akuma’s ridiculous sunglasses. He announces he must go hunt for ‘pokey-mans’ and heads off, passing a group of bottle flippers.

A teacher gets hit and gets an even worse makeover. She gains ripped jeans and a black hoodie that says ‘I didn’t choose the dank meme life, the dank meme life chose me’ and has a dabbing hot dog on it. She has the same headphones as the main akuma but is actually wearing them on her ears. There’s a golden light-up fidget spinner in each of her hands, matching the gold light-up heelys on her feet. Some of the affected students notice her and begin following her around.

“We must stop this.” Ladybug nods at her partner’s statement, immediately moving to get the akuma’s attention.

“Ah! Ladybug and Chat Noir my broskis!!!! It’d be very dank of you to hand over those swag miraculouses you’ve got!!!1!”

“Sir-”

“Why so formal??? I’m the Coolest Dad - so lit!!! No need to call me anything but your bestest bro!!1!” he gestures around him, “Look at all these Cool Dudes!!! Aren’t they sooo hip with the kids now?? IKR!!! So great! Look at all these savage Broskis, so happy to have people who understand!!” 

“Oh dear Kwami what is this?”

“Anyways, if it’s all good with you fam, I’m just going to be on my way!!!” a purple butterfly mask appears over his face, “Nah, chill my mothy pal!! These hip teens will get with the program eventually! It’d be very uncool of me to take from them!!! I can get you your Gucci jewels in a moment!!!! For now I’m going to spread this fetch coolness around Paris!!!! #SquadGoals!!!1!!1”

As he rolls away they hear, “Paris will be the fleekest city around!!!”

“Uh, Is that it…?” Chat Noir turns to her.

“Yeah. I think so.” Ladybug hops down to the ground, looking around. There are several ‘Broski’s around, and some ‘Cool Dude’s. She sees a few dabbing and doing Fortnite dances and turns to see if there’s any civilians left in the area.

“Ladybug…?” She turns at the voice, beside her Chat seems to relax.

Allegra stands in the doorway of a classroom, she’s glancing around nervously, but when she can’t see the Coolest Dad she decides to take a few steps toward the heroes. Behind her are Allan, Felix, and Claude. Chat seems to look at the doorway as if waiting for another person. His worry returns.

“Yes? Is everything alright?”

Allegra nods, leading the duo back to the classroom. Inside are several students and staff, hiding from the akuma.

“We helped all of these people to hide, and we were wondering if it’s safe for them to come out now.”

“It is, though the akuma is still around the school, so it would be best to stay close to a hiding spot.” Ladybug assures her. Chat keeps glancing around at those in the room, seemingly checking for something.

“But, actually we had another question. Our friend disappeared just before the attack and we were wondering if you’d seen her.” The worry of the group is clear and Ladybug wonders who they’re talking about. Marinette didn’t see anyone else when she was sitting with them.

Claude speaks up, “Her name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I’ve only known her for a few months, but I’ve already fallen deep in platonic love for her!” His usual theatrics do nothing to hide his clear anxiety over- wait.

She’s their friend?!

They considered her their-

Focus.

Chat has stiffened beside her, and she jumps in before he promises to find the ‘damsel in distress’,”I’m sure she is fine. After the cure you can find her.”

“She’s hasn’t been answering her phone. We just don’t know if she’s ever been in an akuma attack before.”

“Oh, she has, though I typically don’t see her much.” She really doesn’t want them to be worried about her alter ego. How can she reassure them? “If I recall correctly, she went on a date with an akuma once so I’m sure she is perfectly capable-”

“She what?!” Allan speaks for the first time.

“Wait you know her?” Allegra sounds surprise. Ladybug doesn’t know how to explain, but Chat helps her out.

“Oh that class…” He has a point. Even if she hadn’t been a student in it, her old class has a concerningly high rate of akumatizitions. The school as a whole really, “My partner is correct. Ma- Ms. Dupain-Cheng is a perfectly capable individual, I’m sure she’s fine She took over City Hall one time, so I trust she’s safe.” He sounds as though he’s trying to convince himself along with the group.

Yelling is heard near the front of the school, “I’m sorry miss, but we have to go now.”

They nod uneasily, and the heroes jump away. At the front of the school the Coolest Dad is shooting emojis at several passer-bys. Alya has arrived, but remains out of sight.

When the akuma notices them, “Sup my dudes!! I have got to ask, have you seen my hip daughter??? I wanted to show her how swank I am!!!!”

“No, uh, we haven’t

“Well let me know if you do!!! I’m like high key worried, and that’s the tea!1!!!”

“Oh I forgot how bad it was…” Chat looks so done already, and this akuma hasn’t even been around an hour.

“I will just have to finesse my search!!!! I feel so uber-not-blessed with her missing!!! I wish she hadn’t yeeted away!!1!!”

As he rolls away, Ladybug is suddenly struck with an idea. She catches up to him, grabbing his attention.

“Uh, actually, TBH, my dude-” The akuma looks to her patiently.

“Oh Bugaboo not you too. Please.”

“-I was thinking that your glasses were just so lit. They’re, uh, so swag my guy, could I maybe get a lit-er look at those, um, dope shades? It’d be very chill of you...”

The man looks delighted, and takes them off and sets them near her. Chat lands nearby, not wanting to leave his partner alone so close to an akuma. 

Up close they’re nearly blinding, and Ladybug avoids looking at the Akuma’s face, fearing what his eyes may look like under the glasses. Turning slightly to her partner, she hisses, “Chat, now!”

He nods, and before the akuma can do anything, he rushes forward touching the shades, “Cataclysm!”

A butterfly is released, and Ladybug wastes no time in purifying it.

“Miraculous Ladybug!” 

As the Ladybugs wash over the city, Ladybug hears a call of “Ladybug! Care for an interview?” The voice says more, but Ladybug can’t hear.

Alya. No no no.

Not here. She’s not supposed to be here.

This is where Marinette came to get away from her.

No no no nononono…

Chat’s ring beeps, bringing her back to reality. The two fist bump quickly, and leave to detransform. Ladybug doesn’t see where Chat goes, solely focusing on getting back to her school. 

To her friends.

She lands in an alley, and after a minute of making sure there is no one around, she speaks, “Tikki, spots off!”

The Kwami groans, landing in her purse to eat a cookie. Marinette spots her group and is about to join them when she sees her. 

It’s not really a surprise, she knew Alya was here, but she didn't know that Alya isn’t alone. She brought her.

She brought Lila.

The pair are talking with her new friends and nonononono. Now they’ll like Lila too. They’ll turn on her too. She’ll be alone again, she’ll have to leave, just as she was adjusting. Oh they’ll hate her, they’ll hate her.

They hate her, they hate her, they hate her nonononononono.

 ---

 Adrien is standing in Chat Noir’s place. He knows he’s not allowed to miss school and should really be on his way back, but he needs to check on Marinette.

It was worrying enough to have Ladybug tell him that there was an akuma here, but then he saw Alya, and she brought Lila.

She probably thinks bringing the heroine’s ‘best friend’ will land her an interview.

If either of them see Marinette here- oh he hates to think what will happen.

Just when things were looking up for her too. If only her new friends knew what happened, this wouldn’t be so bad. He understands why she doesn’t want to tell them, but he wants her to realize that they care about her and won’t be upset at her for what happened.

“...but actually we’re looking for out friend-” He hears Allegra talking as he approaches the front of the school.

“Come on! Just a quick interview! A first-hand account of Ladybug’s first battle here!”

“No, we’d like to find our friend.” 

“What’s her name? I used to work with an international search and rescue group, I could help!” 

Before any of them can answer that question, he hops in, “Alya, Lila! I didn’t think you’d be out of school.”

He can see the confusion of Allegra, Allan, Claude, and Felix. They have no idea what he’s doing over here in the middle of the school day. Lila and Alya on the other hand look delighted. Lila latches onto his arm as usual, he stiffens slightly, but she only continues to hang off of him. Allegra’s eyes narrow.

“Adrien, what are you doing here? I thought you had a photoshoot?”

“It was in the area - got canceled ‘cause of the akuma attack.” He scratches the back of his neck. Lila rests her head on his shoulder.

Out of the corner of his eye he spots Marinette and oh she’s seen Alya and Lila. She looks like she’s having an attack. He can’t do anything without alerting the girls in question, but she is not okay.

“Well, if you’re out of school then you can hang out with us!” Alya seems delighted by this stroke of brilliance, “Nino can skip and we can all go on a double date!”

“Doesn’t that imply that I’m bringing a date?” Adrien knows where this is going.

“She means me, silly!” Lila giggles and runs her hand through his hair.

“Lila, for the last time, we’re not dating-” He tries to pull away, but she’s got an iron grip on his arm.

“Sureee, lover-boy~” Alya winks at him, dragging them away. 

He manages to extract himself and sends a couple texts to the OMMAM chat, before excusing himself and heading back to school. He hopes Marinette will be okay.

 ---

 Allegra is seething beside him, “Did you see how she was clinging to him?! Who does she think she is?! He was so clearly uncomfortable! Ugh that little-” Claude drowns out her angry muttering when his phone dings.

 Adrien: You guys need to check on Marinette.

Adrien: Now.

 He sees that the others have noticed the message. They’re looking at each other in confusion, worry clear. What’s happened?

“Oh dear, look.” Allan is the first to see the girl. Claude turns to where he points, his heart stops when he finally spots her.

The girl is crouched in an alley, her hands digging into her scalp, and breathing erratically. He could see her tears from here. The akuma attack hadn’t been that long, but in the time they’d been separated something had happened. 

They all rushed to her immediately, crouching by her side.

“Marinette, hey, can you hear me?” Allan speaks clearly, gently resting a hand on her shoulder.

To their surprise, she reacts immediately, looking at all of them panicked.

“I’m so sorry!” 

“What?”

“I don’t know what she said, I don’t know what she told you-”

“Marinette, hey-”

“Just- just- just- tell me and I’ll-I’ll-I’ll”

“Just breathe with me okay?”

“Marinette, we don’t know what you mean dear. Everything’s okay.”

“I’ll find sources, I’ll back it up this time, I’ll-I’ll I’ll call Jagged, please believe me-”

“Marinette-”

“Please, oh no no nononono.” She covers her eyes with her hands, finally breaking her frantic eye contact. Curling into herself tighter, “Oh please, not again, not again no no no-”

Her nails are digging into her skin, and Claude worries she’ll draw blood, but she doesn’t even seem to worry. She entirely distracted by whatever has consumed her.

“Marinette!” Allan stresses her name, gently trying to take her hands off her face before she hurts herself too bad. She doesn’t even notice what she’s doing, “Marinette, listen, it’s alright, just breathe okay? Do it with me…” 

Marinette doesn’t seem to notice initially, but eventually her breathing evens out. She looks around at them tearily, wiping at her face. She opens her mouth, but Claude beats her to it.

“Don’t apologize Mari. You were upset, nothing’s wrong with that.”

“But-”

Allegra hugs her gently, “No. No buts. It’s okay to be upset.”

But she’s a hero. A hero who fights akumas. Being upset means failing.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Talk about it? Then they’d know. She wants to trust that they’ll believe her, but that’s what she did last time. They don’t hate her currently, so she shouldn’t do anything to risk changing that. She shakes her head.

She feels her purse move strangely at her side. It’s subtle enough that she isn’t worried that they noticed, but when she hears a tiny cough she begins worrying for Tikki.

“Could I, uh, have a moment? I need to, um, call someone?” They nod at her and walk a little ways away. She ducks out of sight to check on her Kwami.

She opens her purse to see Tikki curled up in an uncomfortable ball.

“Tikki? Are you okay?”

She coughs, “Sorry, Marinette, I think I’m sick again. The Revealer…” she trails off into a coughing fit.

Right. If there are consequences to Marinette overworking herself for an all-day akuma, then the same can be expected of Tikki.

“I’ll go to Fu’s…”

Tikki nods at her, quieting herself as best she can. Marinette doesn’t want to delay helping the Goddess, so she prepares herself to lie to her friends again. She hates to think what they’d say if they found out just how much she lied to them.

Stepping out of the alley, she approaches them carefully and they turn to her patiently.

“Hey Marinette. How are you doing?” Claude speaks to her attentively.

She holds up her phone, pasting on a sheepish smile, “Uh, I have to go talk with my, um… mentor? If I come back late, can you let the teacher know?”

“There is no need to rush yourself. They have cancelled the remainder of the school day due to the akuma attack. Take your time.”

“O-oh. Okay.”

“We’re going to my place now, so you can come over when you’re done!” Claude holds up his own phone, “I can text you the address again if you need it.”

“No no. I’ve got it saved.”

They say goodbye, walking in their respective directions.

---

Author’s Note: Poor Mari. So, uh, that akuma... I, uh, it's... unique? Reference slides here? Suspension of disbelief means believing a school's wifi would allow for a glitch-free facetime call. It also allows me to tweak the climate of a major city somewhat. Thanks for reading, and constructive criticism is welcomed in the comments below! See you Saturday!

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[oswednesday]

could we possibly get an update on your tmasona :3c i feel like maybe some things have changed, or i'm just getting confused...

omg yeah i need to update their art ref! ill get to it, i have to finish up some other stuff first! omg yeah ive been adjusting things as i go, making themes clearer i guess! or w/e fits the setting better a i listen again, omggg thank you for asking, also im so rendered playdough soft that youre keeping track enough to feel confused like,o mg ;x ;, okay so updates!:

-theyre born in america to a beholding cultist group, their parents are like Teachers With Doctorates, they have six other siblings (who also all go different ways) the upbringing is like zero privacy 100% authoritative, they live on the compound which doubles as like a high end Alternative Schooling, i imagine they would have called their parents ma'am and sir more than mom and dad, its competitive family dynamic and theyre being Trained to take the archivist position on the off chance that gertrude dies of old age (i think given that a branch in china had a guy lined up thats a reasonable thing to assume the cult does as a whole?), they attend like a compound boarding school with other cultist children (like, america has A LOT of cult compounds,, so i think it would be def a thing for dread god followers, and since tmi has like Some kind of academic standing, with american culture there’d be some kind of accredited legitimacy to the school)

-they go to whatever fancy university for a weighted accelerated library sciences program that their family has a connection to, with like the smallest bit of experienced freedom they also take art classes at a Less Nice For Profit liberal school thats just a block or so away from the other as it tends to be in small american cities that are designated college towns, theyre like so paranoid about being caught and watched and judged that they go through the whole trouble of fabricating a whole entire different person to be for the other school which does not check anything ‘cause theyre getting paid, which like the money dries up a bit enough for them to start up some Fraud, i think the very start of like the identity theft is the End, but before that they would keep track of everything like taking notes about different places different selves needed to be, keeping track of lies the best they could, theyre the only one of the siblings left who havnt made it Super clear theyre with a different patron, so they feel the obligation to keep it up, i also think there’d be a lot of, wow no one can ever know anything about my terrible fucked up monster life so no one can get close, i cant even get close to me, vibe going on with all that

-this is the lead up to the psychotic break they have, and it Looses them up enough to experience the spiral, during the break down they find a book that Feels Familiar and its like, transcribed recordings of children in therapy conversations accompanied with art from the patient , it probs has a Misleading title like “my wonderful changing body and me!” like one of those youre going through puberty and instead of helping you emotionally im going to toss a book at you and leave the room kind of thing

-so they get lost a while, read a book in peace, break a mirror in a way thats v symbolic, like a representation of their sense of self becoming fractured, they use their blood to mark where theyve been, its all very trans formative and dramatic, (like they def arnt using they/them before this, they embrace the multiplicity of it all)

-their Purpose is to lead victims through, they create and maintain narrative mazes for people to get lost in and lead them to madness (so, like the metanarrative function of pyramid head, or like the bartender+delbert grady in the shining, or like the night clerk in the first downfall game? i guess the second one too but the first one has that vibe im going for and is less symbolic over all), this also means they like vacuum up after a messy meal

-the title that old fashioned people use is the minotaur, but stuff about their role within the cult as a concept is like jaws of madness, the teeth, the porter, doorman, caretaker, maid, whatever nondescript jobs victims see them having

-happening simultaneously to that metaphysical stuff, their physical self drops out of everything and a distant aunt offers to take them in which their family is Fine with cause their a disappointment and all, but it turns out their aunt is a house that like uk buzzfeed and travel blogs calls the mouth of madness, its like a winchester house, m takes it over and converts it to a bed and breakfast tourist spot for the income and it just, becomes a legit hotel business (but i think thats after the great twisting fell through)

-so timeline wise its, breakdown, impulsively marrying the physical embodiment of the lonely,the great twisting, hotel

-like cause they had no place of their own there was no place for them to go after the twisting fell through so they went no where, it was real upsetting tho

-things that not every minotaur had but some could do so this is like personal quirks! is they can move the understanding of physical things to create obstructions as long as its repetitive,so making mazes and labyrinths! and sometimes their fabricated spaces are like noticeably fake, they also cant balance a lot of victim plots and make new space like the first purpose comes first even when the second function would benefit

- they look however you expect them to look whatever that means for you but they also have a static like base self that they can like, replace with other selves

-like seeing the pure concept like how the distortion is that weird long fuckhands thing, their True shape is like a vitruvian man in constant motion like a photographic blur, you could probs see how a leg could be a tail and how shifting heads and shoulders could be horns and how weapons held by many hands are hooves of a beast

-there’s not always time for any of that so sometimes they have to just lock someone up, let their mind fill in the blanks and do them an insanity, box cutters have a nice sound but power drills are more appropriate for quick jobs

-they can fully Check Out of their physical body and just leave it there, they eventually have to go back and get it tho, it can do its own thing but its primarily customer service auto pilot

-their dreams are like realistically mundane, with the occasional interruption of something that catches up with them (like if they cut their hand off irl itll be fine but theyll eventually have a normal dream where their hand gets severed) (they also do a lot of work in dreams but they like differentiate between like im consciously doing stuff in the dreamscape and im a victim here dreams but theres no real, difference, thats not really their thing to be in control of)

-i think the sum of their personality would be like someone who exclusively talks in customer service voice and when theyre not working theyre a nervous wreck, they hide behind stuff when ever they can and feel more comfortable with something between them and other person like a wall or a magazine or a counter desk, that sort of thing

[cerebralthundering]

Bounce

Oof, I know it’s been forever since I wrote something. This one has been in my head for a while though & just haven’t been exactly sure how to go about it. I hope you like it though. And send me requests! I may start doing Brendon stuff too. Who knows.

Josh x fem reader: smut

Warnings: sex, duh. Bruising/scratching. Cursing.

——

It was just a chill Saturday afternoon at home where you were watching tv as your boyfriend, Josh, was in the basement practicing his drums. His band was off tour for a couple weeks between dates so you enjoyed having him a home. You were getting kinda bored watching tv after a while though & decided to go check on Josh.

You open the door to the sound-proof room to see him going hard at the drums. He was going so hard & was so focused he hadn’t yet noticed you walk in the room. You stood in the doorway just watching him intently. God, it always turned you on so much watching him play the drums - the way he put his all into it, watching his toned sweaty body, & imagining making that stool bounce in a different way. You bit down on your lip & tightened your legs.

“Hey babe!” he suddenly greets you as he finally noticed you in the doorway, knocking you out of that daydream. He put his drumsticks down beside him on the ground & took a swig of water. Shit, had he noticed the way you had been watching him? “What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing. I just wanted to come see how you were doing. I was getting kinda bored up there,” you tell him.

“Are you sure that’s the only reason?” he asks. You swallow hard.

“Uhh...w-what do you mean?”

“Well, you were standing there biting your lip & looking at me like you wanted to jump my bones,” he bluntly states. Shit, he did notice. You bit your lip & blushed while staring down at your feet. You had never told him how watching him play turned you on so much. You were worried he’d think it was weird or silly. You stumble over your thoughts before answering, trying to think of a good excuse, but nothing was coming to mind.

“Oh...umm...it’s nothing...” Your answer clearly didn’t satisfy him as he raised an eyebrow at you.

“Tell me,” he demands.

“Well...uhh...you gotta promise you won’t think it’s stupid, okay?” you plead.

“Babe, of course not. I promise.”

“Okay, well...err...watching you play the drums kinda...um...turns me on,” you mumble out while still looking down at the ground. You hear him take a heavy breath.

“Go on...” he requests while biting down on his own lip now. Damn, him biting his lip always drives you wild.

“The way you so passionately play them...& watching you get so hot & sweaty...& imaging, uh...”

“Say it, baby.”

You take a deep breath before quickly spewing out, “Imaging fucking you on that drum stool & bouncing up & down.” His eyes widened while inhaling sharply. Suddenly he stands up & starts walking towards you. You bite down harder on your lip while watching him intently. His eyes scan your body with lust & then his hands grab your hips & start pulling you back towards the stool. He sits back down on the stool as you’re still standing & he pulls your shirt off over your head. Once it’s on the floor he pulls you down onto his lap & grabs your face to kiss you. You place your hands on his chest while reciprocating his kiss & beginning to slowly grind down on his lap. The kiss quickly heats up & becomes more passionate, feeling him slide his tongue into your mouth. Your hands move up into his hair to gently grab the tufts of his short, dark hair.

After a moment he starts moving his hands to your back to unclasp your bra & then toss it to the floor. You gently inhale as you feel his hands moving back to the front to grab your breasts while still not breaking from the kiss. His thumbs start teasing your nipples as you gently moan into his mouth. You bite down on his bottom lip before you break the kiss to move your lips to his neck to begin to suck & nibble on it, making him softly moan as you continue grinding on him. You can feel his hard-on through his shorts as you press down harder. You feel one of his hands snake down your stomach between your bodies to make its way underneath the waistband of your pants as well as your panties.

“Mmm, you’re so wet, baby,” he breathily speaks out.

“All for you,” you reply as you feel him start to move his fingers between your folds, making you even more wet while moaning into his ear. Your hips still grinding down with his hand now between the two of you is making his fingers feel even better until he suddenly slips his hand back out.

“Stand up,” he insists. You do as you’re told & stand up in front of him. He grabs the waistband of both your pants & panties at the same down & quickly pulls them down before you step out of them. You immediately bend down to do the same to him, helping him wriggle out of his shorts & boxer briefs, causing his erection to spring out. You start licking your lips in excitement, knowing this fantasy of yours that you’ve had for a while is finally about to come true.

“Listen. I want you to get on my lap like you’re gonna ride me but wait a second so I can hold onto your waist when we bounce,” he explains. You nod in agreement & line up his hard cock with your entrance & slowly sit back down, causing both of you to gently moan out.

You wrap your arms around his back tightly, grabbing onto his shoulders as his hands grip tightly on your hips. “Ready?” he asks. You nod again.

He suddenly bounces once to test things out & you feel yourself slide up his cock & then back down while bouncing up & then again as you come down. This quick action makes you scream out from both pleasure & surprise.

“Holy shit!” he exclaims while staring at you to gauge your reaction.

“Fuck! Keep going!” you proclaim.

He starts bouncing again, speeding up slowly, causing you to feel like he’s fucking you at double the speed as normal, causing hard moans, screams, & expletives to fly from both of your mouths.

After he gets a rhythm going with the bouncing you start grinding your hips again, causing an even more explosion of pleasure. You can feel his fingers gripping so tight on your hips that it’ll probably leave bruises. Your fingers & nails are doing the same down his back.

You start to feel the warmth brewing in your abdomen warning you that you’re close. “J-Josh, I -“ your statement interrupted by another scream as you bounce, “I-I’m close!”

“Fuck, me too, baby.” After another breathy moan he growls out, “Make a mess on this stool.”

“Shit!” You continue yelping out as your movements get sloppy as your legs begin to tremble & weaken. Your nails dig into his back as the pleasure begins to erupt. “Fuck, Josh!” you scream out. You bury your screams into his shoulder, savoring this moment. Your walls tightening around his cock pushes him over the edge as well. “Oh god!”

You continue sloppily grinding your hips at a slower pace now as you both ride out your orgasms. He bounces one last time causing one last yelp out of you as you both finally come to a pause & losening your grips. Neither of you said anything for a minute as you both took the time to finally catch your breath, your forehead resting on his shoulder. The sweat is glistening on both bodies under the basement lights.

“Holy...shit...” he sighs. You look up at with a smirk on your face which makes him grin.

“Holy shit, indeed!” you laugh.

“Kinda sad though...” he confesses.

“Why?” you ask, puzzled, furrowing your brows.

“Sad that you didn’t tell me about this little fantasy of yours sooner,” he jokes. You roll your eyes & laugh. “That was the hottest fucking thing ever.”

“Yeah, damn, now I do wish I had told you sooner,” you blush.

“Well we’ll just have to make up to lost time then I guess...” he trails off, slyly smirking.

“Hell yeah, baby.”

You both stay in that position for a couple minutes longer until he breaks the silence. “So, are we gonna stay like this forever? Not that I would mind...”

You laugh before responding, “I, uh, don’t think I can move.” Your legs literally felt like Jello.

“Wrap your legs around me,” he requests. You did as told & wrap your legs as tightly as you could around his waist. He then stands up, his hands holding onto tight under your ass, & walking to the nearby couch before plopping you down. You shift a bit until you’re comfortable on the couch. He grabs the blanket hanging over the back & drapes it over you. He then walks back to grab his shorts & puts them back on.

“I still need to finish practicing this song,” he explains. “You can lay there as long as you need.”

“Okay, but you know what watching you before lead to,” you coyly state.

“Well shit, I’m never gonna finish then, am I?” he jokes.

“Nope!” you wink.

[dykecassidy]

1 9 10 12 17 18 19 20 27 30 for the writing ask meme! pick and choose tho if u dont wanna do all/any of em!

writer asks

1.  Do you listen to music when you write?

yes! it cant be new stuff, though. it has to be well listened to, familiar, bc otherwise i start paying attention to the lyrics and thinking of stuff other than what im writing.

9.    Current WIP

like as in open right now, is chapter 17 of wyw. i got like 5 paragraphs.

10. Do you set yourself deadlines?

i try to? i dont have much success with that. i need to have the outside expectation, like i told someone i would write it for them and i said i could do it in a certain time frame. i do pretty good with the twbb and twrpzine deadlines, tho i am still usually crunched at the end.

12 answered!!

17.  What writing habits or rituals do you have?

i outline so so so much. i love it. i do it when i dont want to commit to starting an idea, when i feel i cant write it fully, when i just want it down and out as quick as possible. its just bullet points and��“so like”. its just spitballing with myself. i can [whatever] the perfect word until later, i can “so he was like ‘lmao’” bc i know what that dialogue feels like, i can commentate about how wild it is, and note about how i need to fix it.

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

funnily enough i was searching my blog for archie and i found a post i tagged them in about a kind of challenge where you alternate chapters and try to write completely different genres, wrestling the story from one another.

i also constantly want to collab with all my friends that write; me, foleh, and lula are almost kind of constantly working collaboratively and very rarely “formally writing”. i wanna do comedy action with emma, where sung shrieks and everyone stares. i wanna do Weird fuckshit with cleo where havve is.... havve and phobos is phogoin’.

19. How do you keep yourself motivated?

i get excited about what im making! i get excited about making a story and seeing the end, and sharing that snippet of a world with other people.

20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

ddont do this to me

in terms of like, pure outlines? things i have plotted out? like. im gonna low ball and say at least a dozen. even things i have no intentions of actually finishing, things that are like parts of a larger series (wyw and next big au). 

i have many many story ideas; i have a folder of notes on my phone thats just ‘fic’ and its inspiration, seeds, drawings for things. a lot of them are vague ideas, dialogue snippets, even just lyrics. idk what ill do with them, but theyre there.

27. Favourite line/scene

ohh.

okay i scrolled down gdocs and picked something at random. i picked a fic from the v creatively named ‘angel au’. 

A mop of golden brown hair, curls sticking up, bedhead. Big dark eyes looking at Rob, on a face covered with freckles, almost glowing, almost glittery. Rob’s hand on their face, his skin looking light and rosy next to theirs. Their mouth moved, the same shapes over and over, head shaking. 

“It’s okay,” [Josh] could hear Rob say, “just go slow. I’m here.”

30. Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

my next human au!!! im keeping to kind of the same theme, where only one (1) member of tarp is actually a human, and this time around itll be phobos. Sung is his dog, who is still perfectly named doctor sung bc cmon thats a rly good dog name and hes like a corgie/retriever/mutt mix. i have 3 chapters outline at least partially, the first one half started, and im deliberately being tight lipped on it.

[scaryscarecrows]

Roots and Leaves, Pt. 6

DC did it first. Take your grievances to them.

Jason and Sheila e-mail back and forth for about a week before she says that she has Thursday off so if he has Thursday off does he want to meet for lunch again?

Last time wasn’t bad. Not a lot of staring or people or anything. He can…he can probably do it again. And it’s a few days away still, so he has time to psyche himself up or, worst case scenario, fake his death and move to Canada.

And it’s been a week and she hasn’t pulled out the Pity Card on him yet and maybe…maybe this’ll all work out okay. She might never be Mom, because Catherine’s always gonna be Mom, but…but she could be Mother, maybe. He can see that in the distant (or not-so-distant?) future.

But he’s not going to rush into things, that’s what got him here in the first place. Patience, grasshopper.

Thursday rolls around and he hasn’t faked his death and moved to Canada, so he has no choice but to put on jeans and a hoodie and resign himself to a couple of hours, easy, of no sunglasses and no e-book shield.

Sorry, any small children who might come out of this traumatized.

Okay. He brings his Kindle anyway, and his sunglasses for the journey, and sticks to his normal Civilian Weaponry-couple’a knives, one pair of brass knuckles tucked into a hidden pocket in his hoodie. Last thing he needs is for someone to pick up a bullet, match it to the Red Hood’s, and come knocking on his door. His luck is bad enough that’s exactly what would happen.

Besides, it’s noon on a Thursday, and even in Gotham that’s a slow hour. Bank robbers gotta eat, too.

The monorail ride there is literal Hell (three fighting couples, two crying kids and old man with no personal spaaaaace!) and he’s literally gasping for air when he stumbles out of the car. He likes people. Honest. If he legitimately hated them all, he wouldn’t risk his life to help them. But interacting with them…he could do without that, mostly.

Whatever. Whatever. It’s over, he lived, he’s had worse.

(And no, he doesn’t hear faint cackling in his head, and that’s final.)

It’s windy today, the type of wind that buffets people every which way and is determined to keep his hood off his head. He fidgets with the drawstrings until it’ll stay and buries his hands in his pockets. Wind sucks. He can feel pollen and dust and Gotham Grime being blown onto his skin.

“Jason!”

Is he there already?

Sheila…looks a lot more haggard than she did before. He tries to remember if she’d mentioned being horribly busy, doesn’t think she did, and figures that to be fair, he hasn’t mentioned the bruise that goes halfway up his back.

She smiles, her awkward driver’s license smile, and waves. Yeah, she doesn’t…it must’ve been a long week, or maybe a rough drive or something. She looks tired.

“Hi.” He’s not sure what to call her, still. Miss Haywood is too disconnected, Sheila’s too personal, and it’s way, way too soon for Mother. Names are a pain. “I’m not late, am I?” He knows he’s not. “Monorail was packed.”

“So was the subway. Can I…?”

Her arms are half-out and he figures she’s asking for a hug. He can do a hug, as long as it’s a short hug.

“Yeah. Thanks for the warning.”

Holy crap, she feels frail. But to be fair, barring Dick’s tackle-hug, everyone’s felt frail since…since. So it could just be him. Hugs are weird now.

(“HUG YOUR DADDY!”)

No. Not today. Everything’s fine.

It’s a sort-of short hug, short enough, anyway, and he wonders, abstractedly, if a day will ever come that he’s used to that sort of thing again. If it even matters whether he does or doesn’t.

It does. Of course it does. And the day will come, in time, and he’ll be better, be normal, be what people want him to be.

Little steps.

* * *

They’ve fallen into a companionable silence and for once Jason’s not jumping whenever someone walks by in a purple sweater or anything when Sheila forces her lips out from between her teeth and says, “I know you were Robin.”

Well. That’s, uh, there’s that out of the way.

“Yeah.” There’s clearly no point in denying it. She probably put it together when Batman came knocking. “For a little while, yeah. I was.” He tastes blood, wonders how long he’s been doing that, and wishes he had gum. Or a mint. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right off, I just…old habits die hard, I guess.”

“Oh God, no, no, I didn’t mean-” She takes a drink. Her hands are shaking, she’s shaking and he doesn’t know what’s wrong. “I just. I thought I should probably make it clear that I did know, so you wouldn’t…I know I was absent, but I don’t want…you shouldn’t feel like you have to hide things from me.”

Oh. That’s. He doesn’t know what to say. Bruce, God knows, has the emotional capabilities of a Himalayan Salt Lamp. Thankfully Jason hadn’t been the type to go through crushes every two weeks, or he probably would have been in Hell. He certainly wouldn’t have…it’s not like he would have shut down the conversation, but sharing and caring? That would have been awkward and best not repeated. Alfred was the go-to for that sorta thing.

All right, then. Since they’re dropping sudden bombshells ‘n all…he has to know.

“You worked for Joker.” There. It’s out. He said it.

And now he kinda regrets it-the self-loathing on her face is a pretty good match for his own, and he can’t tell himself it’s anything less than deep, deep wishing to have made better choices.

“I did.” She straightens up, begins tearing apart a piece of bread on her plate. “Briefly. I’m not proud, but he had a line to my mother, knew where she lived, knew her schedule…knew.” She swallows hard. “Knew she had to rubber-band her jam jars because she couldn’t open them otherwise. I panicked. But it was only for a couple of months-pills, he wanted pills, as much as I could get him. And then he just…went away. I don’t know what he did with them.”

Honestly, after everything, he can’t…he doesn’t have the right to say much. And honestly? There was that one guy, who accidentally cut the fucker off in traffic and couldn’t get away from him.

And look at him. The first man he killed, that wasn’t…oh, sure, he probably had it coming, at least a little, but Jason wasn’t thinking about that or considering it like he does now, he just…he wanted to kill Bruce. Because that was right and reason at the time even though he knows it’s insanity now.

No, he can’t say much.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly, and it’s suddenly easier to look at his hands. “I didn’t…that sounds awful.”

“No.” She tips his chin up and it’s an effort not to pull away and to remember that it’s fingers, warm human fingers, and not the pointy end of a crowbar against his skin. “You deserved to know. It’s only fair.”

Truth be told, it’s a relief to know that she hadn’t…yeah, technically she could’ve…maybe done something different, but she hadn’t wanted to work for him. She wasn’t like the ones he’d christened Dumb and Dumber that…they enjoyed that kinda work.

Lunch is finished in relative silence after that, though, and he’s wondering what’s going to happen now when she rifles through her purse and swears.

“Damn…I meant to grab an old photo album I wanted to show you, with some old family pictures and things.”

Pictures of Willis? Yeah, he’s good. Pictures of other people might be interesting, though.

“Next time?”

“My apartment’s a few blocks over.”

Something feels off. He’s paranoid, he knows he’s paranoid, but something…she’s been shaky and weird all afternoon and he doesn’t…

Calm the fuck down, you freak out when someone window-shops for too long!

“Is everything…is everything okay?”

Or maybe something is wrong-she pulls a napkin over and there’s suddenly a pen in her hand.

“I really do want you to see these pictures, Jason,” she says, but her hand is moving and there’s the ever-so-faint skrit-skrit of pen on paper. “I swear you got my mother’s eyes.”

The napkin slides over to him and he glances down. Her handwriting’s spikey and awful-doctor writing to the bone-but his is no better and he can read it well enough.

An old colleague has been hanging around the hospital lately.

Oh.

That explains a bit.

“Sure.”

Her shoulders drop and she crumples the napkin, nails picking it into shreds.

“I’m sorry to do this to you,” she says softly, nearly too soft for him to hear, and he’s quick to shake his head.

“No, no, I don’t mind, I’m glad you…if there’s anything I can do to…”

Shit, she looks like she’s going to start crying and that is indeed PANIC in his throat. Tears are not good.

“You’re a good boy.” Her voice is watery but there are no tears to be seen. Thank Jesus. “I promise next time we have lunch it’ll be normal.”

Oh, good, things haven’t plummeted down to fiery Hell because of all the revelations flying around.

“Everything’s gonna be fine,” he says, and whoops that’s his ‘all will be well, citizen, never fear!’ voice. But it must work, because the about-to-cry look disappears. “Um. Do you wanna…it looks like it’s gonna rain, should we get going?”

And so they do.

* * *

The wind has picked up and it smells like rain. He’s not looking forward to patrol later.

The wind’s not so bad, though, to stop Sheila from lighting up with a self-depreciating, “I know I’m a doctor and should know better, but I honestly don’t care.”

“I can’t really say anything.” He holds up his own pack and rattles it before pulling one out. It’s not as calming as it usually is and he doesn’t know why.

Eh. It’s been a long day, that’s all. He’s not used to interacting with people on a personal level anymore, which is his own fault and probably not necessarily a good thing.

The first few drops have started to fall when they arrive at her building-big, square, and simplistic. She fishes out her keys while they’re in the elevator (which smells like new car, for some reason).

The hallway is deserted. It’s a little creepy, to be honest-his own building might be crap, but there’s always activity. And then, of course, there was Arkham’s hallways, or what he could hear of them. Noisy. Always noisy. But this? Wayne Manor was silent like this. It unsettled him then and it unsettles him now. Call him a city boy, whatever, but he needs noise.

The brass knuckles and knives in his jacket are warm and comforting and he knows he’s not gonna need ‘em, but they make up for this creepy-ass silence.

Sheila opens the door and motions him inside. It’s dark inside-blackout curtains, probably-but he can hear the rain. It smells like new car in here, too, and he wonders, off-handedly, why-

-it’s not empty. He’s walked into one too many ‘empty’ buildings to be very, very attuned to the sound of somebody breathing. Okay. Be calm, back out and shut the door.

He’s about to do exactly that when the light switch clicks and bathes the whole place in stark white. White walls, white floors, white furniture.

Which only makes Harley Quinn stick out like a sore thumb in all that red and black.

“BAY-BEE!” She could never hope to match Joker’s grin, but she gives it a good go, stretching her makeup. Okay. Change of plans. Get Sheila out of here (and preferably out of the building), deal with Quinn. “It’s been a whiiiiile!”

He takes in the mallet leaning against the couch and the shotgun (are those fuzzy dice? Really?) in her hands and comes to the conclusion that great, she’s riding the crazy train.

But maybe she hasn’t seen Sheila yet. Where’s that goddamn light switch?

He moves, only a little, only to feel the unmistakable press of a gun against his lower back.

“Don’t. Move.”

And the world drops out from under him.

No. No, no, no, she said she quit, it was over, she said they’d let her go, she said-

The door shuts. He twists so he can still see Quinn in his peripheral. Sheila’s face is a blank mask-no tears, no joy, no nothing. Just quiet determination and he doesn’t understand, she said…

“Mom?” The word feels thick and wrong in his mouth, but maybe…maybe she’s brainwashed or hypnotized or something, maybe she doesn’t…isn’t…

“Sorry, kid.” The words are harsh but her tone isn’t. Quinn giggles in the background but she sounds so far away and Sheila’s still pressing a gun against him. “It was you or me, and, well…it had to be you.”

What?

“Aww, come to mama, baby!” Quinn giggles again before straightening up and scowling. “Now.”

His feet drag him forward, sneakers scuffing against the white carpet an’ Heaven’s s’posed ta be white, innit, so why does this feel like Hell and what’s going on she said she said-

For once horrible, desperate second, he wants Bruce. Bruce wouldn’t…yeah, he’d thought, at first, that he’d left him but he knows that he didn’t, he really didn’t, he just…

Bruce wouldn’t have pulled a gun on him, he wouldn’t and God, if he’d just fucking talked to him-

“I did what you wanted, Quinn.” Sheila’s voice is so, so flat and is this all she wanted from the beginning? Is it? “Now call your man.”

Quinn doesn’t even look at her. She’s looking at Jason like she always did-like she’s torn between wanting to rip his head off and wanting to wrap him in a blanket and keep him.

This is his own goddamn fault, he just thought…just once, just once-

“Quinn!” Desperation now, and the gun wobbles against his hoodie as she steps out from behind him. “I did what you said! Call your man!”

Okay. Okay.

He forces himself to take a few deep breaths that taste like that last cigarette outside and says, voice as steady as he can make it, “Let her go, Harley. Leave her alone, I’ll. I’ll do what you want, just. Just let her go.”

“Aww, look at you!” Her pigtails sway and he finds himself oddly hypnotized by the movement. “I knew ya had to be Robin for a reason.”

Yeah. Yeah, he was Robin and that’s all he’ll ever be, the one that fucked up.

“Please, Harley.”

“Nyeh…” She adjusts her grip on the gun, finger dancing near the trigger, and looks down at her knuckles. “Eeny, meanie, miny, moe, catch a Batman by the toe. If he hollers, let ‘im go, eeny…meanie…miny…moe!”

He sees it before she does it, but there’s no time-he’s moved maybe half a centimeter before the gun goes off-

-and Sheila.

Falls.

His ears are ringing. They’re ringing and everything’s so white except her, all blonde and blue and so fucking red because Harley didn’t miss and if he’d been quicker, he should have been-

“Aww, don’t be sad!” Harley’s not alone, of course she’s not. He should have known from the start stupidstupidstupid. “Doncha know what happens to people who know too much?”

Her eyes are open. They’re open and they’re looking at him like this is his fault and it is if he hadn’t…

S’like Joker said, once.

“Good boys know how to lay down and DIE.”

“Mistah J had a spot for ya, baby.” Huh? “But you up an’ left us before it was time! So since it’s his birthday-” The fucker has no birthday he just appeared one day too evil for Hell. “-I thought I’d get my puddin’ somethin’-” She winks. “Real nice.”

And they’re on him.

Harley’s goons are dumb, but they’re also big and they manage to drag him down for a minute before he gets a knife out of his sleeve and drives it into the nearest jaw.

“Andre!” Yeah, Andre ain’t comin’ back from that any time soon. “I thought we taught you manners!”

He reclaims his knife and scrambles back up and okay okay maybe he can get outta this-

WHAM!

Lights out.

[flippinoptimist]

> Vel : Meet a nerdlord

Today at 2:45 AM

deputyheadmistress Alright, someone talking to you on my behalf about a lack of privacy got to me a bit. But I'm not upset with you for how the internet behaves.

flippinoptimist thats lurky, theyre a little closer to omniscient than is average for most beings, and like kind of giving advice, and they mean well i think they meant it mostly to make me stop chargin around in like, manic mode, though, even if stuff relatin to you was the causal start of the chain sorry you got dragged into it miss granger, and that i wasn't doin the tact thing

deputyheadmistress I didn't mean them, I meant the thread about different faux book titles. But a close to omniscient being is, I suppose, something I'll also have to get used to. I'm at least a bit used to manic teens, though it's not the best way to get shocking information.

flippinoptimist i think my earth age would technically start with a two, but thats sorta recent after you spend enough time around here you get used to the like, multiverse

deputyheadmistress Can we, perhaps, stop talking about the multiverse for a few moments? And talk about something a bit more grounding, like your particular brand of magic. I'm very curious.

flippinoptimist sure its sorta a fusion of everything ive run across, since the inherent stuff that my ~destiny~ tried to put on me isnt the same kind of stuff as the place where im learnin the inherent is more of a "woo, heres a big abstract concept, you are an incarnation / channeler of a shard of it, neato"

deputyheadmistress That sounds like a lot to dig into, but alright.

flippinoptimist the school part is about how you can structure thought and energy flow into symbols and runes and things i'm focusin on artificing ..and the inherent part has given me a knack for illusions i cant figure out how to actually cast spells but im good at making things!

deputyheadmistress Oh! I was very good at ancient runes during my time at Hogwarts, and while I haven't managed to do much with it since graduation, other than an enchanted bag, I'd be really curious to see what similarities there might be. I wonder if you can cast spells. Logic seems like it'd point to yes, but if you're from somewhere else...

flippinoptimist id be curious about them!  i know the words to a few spells but ive never seen  them and do naut have a wand of the kind you are thinking of the wands i know about / make each have a specific spell in them, and are locked to create a specific effect that triggers when a gesture or word or w/e happens

deputyheadmistress That's terribly inefficient.

flippinoptimist sure, its Terrible

deputyheadmistress ... Is that referencing those historical people of note who end up being so infamous people associate them with the word 'Terrible' as well?

flippinoptimist naut much different than having a necklace that makes you invisible though yes! it also enables a billion terrible puns

deputyheadmistress I was curious. It's a bit strange to add it yourself, don't you think?

flippinoptimist (ba dum tsh)

deputyheadmistress Oh.

flippinoptimist it is

deputyheadmistress Well, that explains that, doesn't it?

flippinoptimist but my species has this thing, where on adulthood we each replace our kid name with an adult Title

deputyheadmistress Oh, it's a cultural thing.

flippinoptimist yeah, and i chose a human one

deputyheadmistress Alright. I read a little bit on that.

flippinoptimist because humans are neat and i like them

deputyheadmistress Oh! Well, I'm glad you like humans, then.

flippinoptimist and i respect a lot of the cultural things i see in most of the human places i have found

deputyheadmistress Good, I was about to ask that.

flippinoptimist also everything that comes out of japan is amazing

deputyheadmistress I don't know how I could let you use a wand from here, but I want to try.

flippinoptimist id love to try if you can think of a way! i am pretty good at establishing first contact with new universes, and i could get you alien tech and magic to check out if you wanted for various definitions of alien

deputyheadmistress ... Alien tech won't work so well on Hogwart's grounds. I had to heavily modify this computer so it'd function here.

flippinoptimist i am curious about how

flippinoptimist alllsooo....  ill have to find a copy of the magic version of getting around from place to place

deputyheadmistress Oh! I wrote a whole thesis on how to make magic more compatable with muggle text over the summer, let me...

flippinoptimist but i know where to find it!  couple of steps and itll work out okay

deputyheadmistress I'll send it to you later. It's a bit lengthy, and I have to type it up here. Alright, I'll hold.

flippinoptimist okay i hate to say this because i am definitely interested in exchangin data and showin things, but it feels rude not to remind you before we get much further that a step of getting this to work is probably going to involve me (random internet stranger) havin to figure out what your coordinates are, so i can write them in the format needed for the circley part i can get you the circle rune pattern either way, but if you want a way to actually use it, id need to basically track your IP but, like, fancy and involving you running a thing on a computer let me know if you want to do that part, but heres the circle diagram

flippinoptimist -- flippinoptimist began sending file : transportationcircle.pdf --

deputyheadmistress I have been warned about random internet strangers.... I may have to work on protection wards for a moment, for the sake of safety.

flippinoptimist sure thing i highly advise not using that w/o fillin in coordinates the way it says, and also not without knowin your home coordinates if you step through that thing, the only way back is to know how to write your home address, you know?

deputyheadmistress Alright

flippinoptimist to find home coordinates, install one a these chat programs, and send me a private message, i can use a couple a tools to trace the connection from there and get your code

deputyheadmistress This is certainly the sort of decision I want to be making at five in the morning. Alright, I've got everything set up. What is life without adventure, and the chance to make the headmistress mad at me.

flippinoptimist lol the decision will still be here at not five in the morning, but you wont be able to blame it on the time then shit i should give you the programs shouldnt i -- Discord, Trollian! --

deputyheadmistress Thank you.

flippinoptimist i have a set of coords i can give you that are explicitely for being a neutral place to meet people, but the sky isnt done yet so its janky lookin but!  the building is finished

deputyheadmistress I've chosen a fairly neutral place for the moment, don't worry.

flippinoptimist ok!

deputyheadmistress > Message him on Discord. This will be absolutely fine. Totally.

flippinoptimist > He messages her back!  About two minutes later, he gives her the number version of her coordinates, which she can use to get back home from anywhere.  He also gives her the coordinates to the convenience store, which he mentions is "a pocket dimension under construction"

deputyheadmistress > She'll... Write that down and probably not do anything with it for a while. > If he tries to look at her coordinates directly, it will really really not work, as if his machine were glitching, but he can probably go a few miles out for a nice view of a scottish country side.

flippinoptimist > Neat!  He ..does poke that far, but then sets his machine to go back to looking somewhere else.  The coordinates are saved, but he promises to himself to not use them. if somebody gives you coordinates, you can go places, or people w/ yours can send you stuff or come visit

deputyheadmistress Alright. This is going to take a bit of getting used to, but if you want to come over you can.

flippinoptimist > ..man, he was supposed to be in time out, but lately he'd been doing so well ..until today.. and he'd been leaning into choosing the Chaotic choices more and more often... > What good was putting yourself in time out if you didn't stick to it?

flippinoptimist crazy o clock in the mornin probably aint the best time for first impressions, though its temptin as hell.  i could send across some small magic gunk and weird alien snacks as a proof of concept, and meet you like, tomorrow or another day soon?

deputyheadmistress That sounds good! I'll send you some magic things too, then.

flippinoptimist sweet!  we can compare notes

deputyheadmistress > Time to gather some of George's jokes and some magical candy.

flippinoptimist > He would send an invisibility ring, a few novelty disguises, a small opal that made anyone within line of sight experience a slightly sweet taste (in a well-shielded bag), and a variety of alternian mass-produced snackfoods labled in a clearly alien language.  Ones he thought might not creep out humans too bad.

deputyheadmistress > Bertie botts every flavor beans are a necessity, though she does make sure to include a carefully penned note about what flavors he may come across that are less pleasant. Chocolate frogs are included as well, of course. Things that turn skin different interesting colors, fireworks that make flame animals bound through the air.

flippinoptimist > He is going to admire the hell out of and carefully store these for later perusal.

deputyheadmistress > He also gets a somewhat large coinpurse that he can shove his whole arm in and still seem to not run out of room.

flippinoptimist okay this is a pretty neat bag stupid question and no i am not going ot try, what happens when you turn it inside out

deputyheadmistress You could turn it out for a really long time. I think it'd be annoying to stuff it back in though

flippinoptimist okay, what if i went for a swim in the ocean with it is there a limit?

deputyheadmistress Of course there's a limit. But it can hold a tent or two, several thin blankets, changes of clothing, general everyday use things, and of course money. Thin things work better, obviously. You could probably fit thick blankets, but it'd be way more annoying both to put them in and pull them out.

flippinoptimist that makes a lotta sense and is pretty interestin i have a tech way of carrying lots of stuff, but you mentioned tech was sad

deputyheadmistress Oh! I have a print version of the paper I was going to type up.

flippinoptimist ive got an amulet thats basically like a mr potato head that disguises you all the runework lines up so you can unclip parts and clip in different parts

deputyheadmistress > Send that along, also. There's moving pictures involved, with her pictured. Oh wow.

flippinoptimist modular!

deputyheadmistress I don't think describing it as 'Mr Potato Head' is reassuring, for a disguise, but a modular disguise is interesting.

flippinoptimist it only works when everything is seated in firmly and shut, but its also sort of like legos > He .. sends a modular disguise amulet over too, with a couple of bits and pieces it only does disguises for my species, but hey, maybe thatll be handy

deputyheadmistress Maybe.

flippinoptimist pro tip if you are ever going to go to a place with my species, ask them which color of person is best for you to be can of worms subject really

deputyheadmistress That sounds racist as hell.

flippinoptimist oh yeah

deputyheadmistress Joy.

flippinoptimist p much sometides people call the usual empress "fish hitler" most of the dudes i know are huge rebels

deputyheadmistress The magical world just recently got done with a war similar to Hitler's.

flippinoptimist but!  there are placeswhere things are fine its just good to check if a place is one of them first

deputyheadmistress So I'm a little sick of that.

flippinoptimist i hang out in like three different places where she got deposed differentamounts of time ago yeah thats aight

deputyheadmistress At least there's that.

flippinoptimist speaking of humans, its great how often its naut like that like, sometimes, but anyway people can be pretty cool when teyre given teh chance

deputyheadmistress I do like to believe in the inherent goodness of people, despite how much bad has happened.

flippinoptimist i think people can choose how theyre gonna be theresa lotta nice reasons to choose not to be a dick

deputyheadmistress I should hope you wouldn't need reasons, but yes there are reasons to be nice.

flippinoptimist sometimes bein mean is tempting, otherwise people wouldnt do it you get all wrapped up in somethin, dont see all of it, then suddenly you get a reality check an gotta go "hey is this where i wanna be" and then people ignore the question because they dont wanna think about it and then its sealed, theyre dicks and theyll stay that way

flippinoptimist till they look around again

deputyheadmistress I suppose.

flippinoptimist i spend a lotta time thinkin about it i was a jerk when i was younger, and i decided to be nice instead so i spend a lot of time talkin to dudes who are or were also jerks and we all get better! cause i can help them find the reasons they need to start

flippinoptimist also jerks are sometimes kinda hilarious, and theyre often pretty good at shit.  otherwise theyd have learned better when they ran into a problem they couldnt solve w/o help.

deputyheadmistress It's getting a bit late. I think I should probably turn in for the night, before all of the teenagers wake up and need scowling at.

flippinoptimist that is probably a thing i hope you have a good night miss granger it was nice meetin you

deputyheadmistress It was really interesting talking to you, Vel.

flippinoptimist i try for interestin

deputyheadmistress Do you really need to try?

flippinoptimist not really

deputyheadmistress Have a good night. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

flippinoptimist bye!

[minthalo]

All of the fanfiction asks!

oh boy okay here we go

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

my first fic was “Do you want to build a Sand Castle With Me?” and I can reread it only because i rewrote it a few months ago and posted over the original 

2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?

my most recent fic is “Cobrababy Nate” and I think i’ve improved a lot since the first fics i’ve written... at least i hope i have

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

my favorite fic has to be “Meet me by the lake”

4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?

Probably my first fic “Do you want to build a sand castle with me?”

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

Yes!!! my favorite one is “You have a nice voice”

6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

Y e s and it’s “Ooh Santa Travie”

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

I have this one Joncer au that i’ve never posted and I’m in Love With but i can’t find the motivation to write anything lately so it’s just sitting in my google drive unfinished staring at me until i complete it

8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

hmmm I have this one Brencer au that i never posted that i haven’t touched in Forever so probably that one, i really want to finish it

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

no but i’ve thought about it

10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?

no i usually read a bunch of fics before writing my own

11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?

Yeah, i used to take prompts off those big posts full of them, and I know there are a million more popular fics with the same idea. I usually try to let it not bother me too much

12. Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why?

Yes, i wasn’t comfortable with people reading that side of my writing. Maybe one day it’ll change

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

I use proper grammar

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

I look for more short and sweet fics rather than long ones like i used to

15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?

Yup, i would write frerard fics because i knew it would get a lot of attention even though i wasnt really into that ship

16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention?

yup. I love rywalk but no one reads it so i stopped writing for that pairing

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

“Hot Shirtless Plant Guy” its like the second fic i ever wrote and its not very good. I went back and rewrote it because it was so bad

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

literally any of my rywalk fics. they deserve better

19. If you had to pick one fic/scene/chapter of your work to describe your entire portfolio to a stranger, which would you pick?

Shit i dont know, maybe the scene in “Do you want to build a sand castle with me” where Pete wakes Mikey up and they walk around their neighborhood in the middle of the night. I like that scene

20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?

Yes i have. I posted over most of my old fics with revised versions of them because the originals were so bad. I didn’t change much, just fixed the Many spelling and grammar errors 

21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?

Yes!! if they have an account i always go on it to see their fics and if it is in a fandom i like i’ll try to read them

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

Y E S theres this one fic “Fragile Capricorn” and the author left kudos on my santa travie fic and i freaked out but also cried because thats the worst fic i’ve ever written but thats the one fic they read

23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?

literally all my reviews are nice it makes me cry but my favorite was one on “Phone Call” and it was “ THIS. this is the fic that got me into joetrick a while ago. thank u for showing me the light.” it makes me so happy i can convert people to ships i like

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

I’ve never gotten a mean review on my fics but i have gotten people sending me anon hate here for them, and yeah i do think that person meant for it to be insulting.

25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?

“Please update faster!!” I know they mean well but writing is hard

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

that I write well at all because I have a million doubts in my head that my fics are shit

27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?

single fandom fics

28. if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick?

probably bandom

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

I like to think so but alot of these fics are amazing and Im just like,, basic

30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?

I jump between fandoms for a while before stopping and moving on, its usually a slow change

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?

Mikey way tbh

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

literally none of them theyre all so hard to write

33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

not really

34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?

Yes my first Joetrick fic is one of my most popular fics and I didn’t expect that at all, I never realized how popular that ship is

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

surprisingly no, all my ships are planned out

36. Have you ever sincerely written a ship you do not support into a fic?

Yes. I hate ryden and i put it in my first fic for the sole purpose to break them up in a horrible way

37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?

Yes. I hate ryden and i put them in “Do you want to build a sand castle with me?” only to break them up

38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?

yes. I write in sad things because i know itll make readers sad

39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?

My ao3 stats say I have 16 people subscribed to my account but i have a hard time believing that many people like my fics that much

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

No. I have major writers block (and also depression) so i never have motivation to write fics even though i really want to, i never feel like i put out enough fics

41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?

I dont cross post but my favorite site is ao3

42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?

most popular fic is “Do you want to build a sand castle with me?” and it has 1,922 hits on ao3 

43. Your least popular?

Least popular fic is “What could have been” and it has 56 hits on ao3

44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?

I think so. I kudos every fic i read

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

romance definitely  

46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?

Not really i write pretty basic stuff

47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

depends who they are but mostly yes, I would probably give them either “meet me by the lake” or “Do you want to build a sand castle with me?”

48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?

Yes all my friends know I write fanfiction. It’s not really something I’m ashamed of, and they usually think its less weird after I tell them I dont write porn

49. Has anyone in your life ever read your fanfic just because you wrote it?

Yes!! My friend Veronica reads all my fics because I wrote them!! she barley even know the fandoms I write for

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

Yes it has had a big impact on my life, and I say its mostly positive. I’ve met some of my best friends because of writing fanfiction and that means the world to me

You can find all of my fics on ao3 Here!!

[pbandjesse]

I've been writing my posts on my phone a lot lately. And so I haven’t been backing up any of those posts and now with Tumblr getting sold I'm nervous about that. So I've been trying to find a website or something to back the whole thing up but I could only find wordpress and it only had enough space to back up a 1/3 of it so if anyone knows a good one could you let me know?

Today has really been nice but it didn’t start the way. I didn’t sleep well. My back ached all night and nothing I did helped. I tend to sleep sort of bent but I cant seem to lay on my back flat and feel tired and its just a circle of unhappiness.

So when my alarm went off at 7 I was like I am just going to sleep for another half hour. I took a shower last night so no rush. But then like 2 minutes later sweetP knocked over my apple tree. Which was in a coffee can of dirt. And it went everywhere. I was furious. I yelled at him and smacked him on the butt and nose and cleaned it up and just was so mad. I chased him around the apartment and he was so scared. He hid under the tub while I cleaned. It took me almost that whole half hour I had wanted to sleep. I calmed down though and felt terrible for scaring sweetP so bad. I tried to get him out with treats but he was keeping his tail under him and he was upset and I was upset. I sat on the floor and cuddled him and told him he messed up but so did I. We had breakfast and then played fetch for a little and he seemed less freaked out. I still felt like the worst mom though.

Work was good. I got there and found some good stuff on the free shelf. Got the room set up. Kathrine and me and mixed up some paints and got ready for the day. We had most of our kids today. And we really are having a lucky week. They are the most respectful and sweet group of kids. We got to learn how to use a new type of epipen! Its like a flat rectangle. Which was really cool. And it had a voice to walk you through it. Very neat. If I get a new epipen I hope I get that kind.

We did a whole lot of painting. I washed a whole lot of brushes. Anne thought I was doing it begrudgingly but I actually really like doing it. I think its soothing. But we needed a better way to dry the brushes. And I found these weird metal combs in the trash. Me and Kathrine looked at them and figured out if you sort of V shaped them together they could kind of stand up into a drying rack. So I glued that together and it actually worked really well. Go team!

I stayed in during break to help Anne and told her some crazy stories about when I worked at PCAT. What I want to improve as a teacher, my goals for the future. She's really great so I really love working during her weeks. I wish she had more of them.

I helped kids paint and ran around cleaning up and making sure we were on task. But really this group was great and I'm not worried about them finishing their projects at all. Because out group is a little older this year they are much more on task and get done much faster. So we can do more fun things. I'm having a great time.

I found a whole lot of paper on the free shelf we could use in the class. And I got a box of glass slides that I am just so excited about. Lots of pictures from the 1930s. I also got a cute little blue bomber jacket. I had some eye ball patches comes in the mail and I think I will put a few of them on that. Be super on trend.

I headed home after that. Forgot to go to the bank but that’s okay. I got a card from Jess with 2 old post cards in it. I love them so much. She knows me well. I changed and had lunch. Chilled. Worked on adding the ribbons to my new pointe shoes. I think I'm going to pick up some elastic though because the ribbon doesn’t feel super secure. Still excited. Still feel like a weirdo for having red but its okay.

I chilled and laid down for a bit. Started uploading my thesis photos to my website because I'm the worst and hadn’t done that. I just finished that actually right now which is why my post has been taking me forever tonight.

I slept for a little while. Woke up at 5 and got dressed and packed my bag the go to ballet. I biked downtown and went to chipotle.

But they were a bit of a mess. I don’t know what the hell was going on but there was no line, just one guy in front of me. But we were still standing there for over 5 minutes with no one helping us. We talked for a minute. Then the girl who made his burrito screwed it up so bad he just left. I felt bad. She screwed mine up a little too, forgot stuff. But I caught it and had the cashier fix it for me. Then when I went to find a seat every table and the food was filthy. I cleared a table myself. Then this worker came in and started sweeping but also just smashing the broom on the pan every time he pulled it back and honestly just doing a terrible job. I don’t want to make a complaint but I just might, it was that bad.

I had some time to waste so I walked around marshells. Then wet to stretch at the studio. I showed the other girl who does pointe my shoes and she gave me some tips. I also showed them to Marsha, our teacher, and she gave me some good feedback and said they are funny cause theyre red but totally acceptable.

Class was great. I felt strong. I stayed up on one foot for 15 full seconds, which would be about 5 turns. And I was so so proud. Marsha made a big deal about it. So my practice at home is really helping a lot.

I was a bit distracted after class and forgot my ballet bag on the bench but then the door was locked. And then when I did get inside the elevator was locked. But then Marsha and a few of my classmates came down and let me up and came with me to let me in the studio itself. But we got my bag and it was all good.

I got home and cuddled with sweetP. I think there is a mosiquto in here because I now have a bite. But its okay. Tomorrow I have work and then I'm going to attempt to bleach my hair to dye it. Havent done that for a while. Hopefully it wont take multible bleaches to get it really light but I have no other plans besides laundry tomorrow so you know! itll be fun.

I hope you all sleep well tonight. Be safe.

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June 29, 2020

Decided to treat this kinda like a regular blog. I wanna recount my day and just kinda. Yeet it out there. My lil space on the web. Not here to please anyone just myself.

Plus I think the act of like,,, sitting here typing about my day will add something to my life. It gives me an opportunity to reflect on my day. Consider the goods, the bads, and generally brings mindfulness into my life a lil more. 

Today was the first day I started to do my deliberate morning routine. I woke up, made my bed (I never do that askdjfla), did yoga, and made breakfast while listening to my podcast. I was really focusing on only doing one thing at a time. And I can’t tell you how many times I almost instinctively reached to scroll through the internet. I didn’t realize I was doing that until I was partway through completing the action. It was weird. I think I’m so use to reaching for things to distract me that its become instinct. Like,,, waking up is really stressful at times, for reasons I don’t feel liek explaining, so turning on the tv or scrolling through the internet as a distraction was seond nature, just to soothe myself. 

Not going to be hard on myself for that though. It served a purpose when life was at a certain point, but now it doesn't serve me, so I’m letting go of it and breaking the habit.

I had planned to then wash my face and brush my teeth, but I knew I wanted to dye my hair today so I had to change that part a little bit. Kinda did the hair dye and the face wash all in one step. 

Drew a tarot card for the day too! Got the chariot! For me that was like. I’m taking control of my life with these routines and itll be effective today. And that it’ll have positive outcomes. 

Finished up my commission and then I went out for a walk, cuz I was a little worked up from doing the commission (needed to take a break from that sort of thing but I already had that one lined up so)

That’s! when I found a moth!! Mentioned it in a post before so I wont get too into it, but I did look up what it meant after the fact. Most places said it was a sign of ancestors or someone I knew that passed? Which is such a strange thing to have cross my path the day after I decide to get back in touch with my spirituality. My ancestors would be mostly Scandinavian so were some of them pagan? They pumped im getting into it?? I’m curious.

Got my coffee and then walked back home, paying attention to the leaves like I like to do. It turns out that’s exactly what I needed. Like it shifted me into relaxing mode again. Cuz my brain loves to anticipatory panic so I had to reset it so it gets that there’s nothing wrong at all haha. Since id gotten all my obligations done with with that commission sent off, I was able to do what I want to focus on for a while: art therapy and exploration. It was so so calm painting a cat today. I really missed that about art. You don’t really get to sit down and appreciate your craft when you’re doing commissions. Decided I don’t really want to do commissions. It’s not really healthy for me at this time. So I’ll focus more on just exploring mediums and expression and turn those into prints I can sell!