#so what the fuck is everyone else's excuse?
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this may be a bit left field from what you were asking but i had this idea in my head for awhile of remus being told he couldn't have children because of the whole werewolf thing and reader gets pregnant and he instantly thinks he's been cheated on and it couldn't be his because of what he was told from a young age (his self esteem and insecurity that he isn't good enough etc. flaring up!! not that he truly believes she would but he's spiralling and it's the only explanation right????) and it takes lily and the marauders to knock some sense into him and realise he's been given a little miracle and a chance at having a family like he's always wanted!!! (i imagine being told he couldn't have children put the whole werewolf thing into perspective and meant he secretly yearned for it as it was another thing it had taken from him)
sorry this was long, if it's rubbish please ignore, it's why i've anonned!!!
poor angsty moony hahahaha. thanks for your request!
Remus Lupin x Black!reader who tells him she's pregnant, and he doesn't respond well [1.7k words]
CW: pregnancy, implied belief of cheating/adultery with a happy ending, background jilypad because I wanted to
“Wait, wait, wait.” James interrupted, holding his hands up from the table as Lily folded her lips over her teeth like she was working over time trying not to laugh. “Hang on. Are you telling me-”
“This is not funny, James.” Sirius hissed, glaring daggers at Remus though his hold on Harry in his arms was as soft as ever.
A giggle escaped Lily’s lips, though she was quick to slap a hand over her mouth when Sirius turned his burning gaze to her.
“You’re telling me” James continued “that your girlfriend-”
“My sister.” Sirius interrupted.
“- that you love-”
“More than life itself, right.” Remus continued.
“- told you she was pregnant, and you…” James trailed off, clearly waiting for someone else to jump in here.
“Came here?” Lily tried.
“Ran off like a sod?” Sirius muttered.
“Told her you…didn’t believe her?” James offered.
“It’s impossible!” Remus argued.
“Do you not fuck your girlfriend, Moons?” James drawled then, causing Sirius to moan very dramatically as he held his son against his face as if he couldn’t even look at Remus right now; Harry, for his part, found that hilarious and started pulling at his papa’s long hair.
“Sod off, James.” Remus groaned miserably as he ran his hands over his face. “It’s impossible, werewolves cannot procreate.”
It was Lily who asked “Says who?”
“Just… everyone.”
“Everyone?” James asked, his eyebrows rising over the frames of his glasses.
“Yes, James, everyone.” Remus hissed. “The…healers-”
“Would have told your parents they had ‘no idea what your future holds’.” Lily explained simply. “What lycanthrope have they studied to know if that’s true or not?”
“There has never been any cases of a werewolf successfully procreating, Lily.” Remus explained simply.
“So just because it’s never been bloody written down, you think it could never happen?” Sirius spat then, looking around Harry’s little body who still had a fistfull of his hair to level Remus with a look. “So, what? She’s lying? She’s making it up? She’s cheating on you?”
The room fell quiet as everyone, even Harry, turned to look at Remus as they waited for a response.
“Remus.” Lily breathed out in disbelief when he didn’t provide one.
“You didn’t…” James sighed.
“Remus fucking Lupin, I swear to Merlin if you-”
“What was I supposed to say!?” Remus exploded then. “I- it’s supposed to be impossible. Werewolves cannot or do not procreate, they cannot be parents, they-”
But his excuses sounded feeble, even to his own ears. Lily was right; no studies as such have ever been conducted on lycanthropes. Sirius was right; there was no evidence because it had just never been written down. James was right; Remus does fuck his girlfriend.
Remus had always assumed this was just one more thing that his lifelong curse had stolen from him; the ability to ever have a family of his own.
Although, there were a lot of things Remus’ lycanthropy was supposed to have taken from him, yet….
Yet, he had two parents who loved him unconditionally and did everything they could for him, even though there were no rule books or how-to guides on raising a werewolf child. Yet, he had been accepted to attend Hogwarts at age 11, even though he never expected to be able to attend school with his affliction. Yet, he met four boys on the train who turned out to be his roommates, who turned out to be his friends, who turned out to be his pack, even though they didn’t have to be. Yet, he found himself a precious love who loved him in return, even though you were raised to lift your nose at anyone who wasn’t a pureblood, even though you were raised to harbour disdain for creatures and beasts alike, even though you were a Black and he was a Lupin, even though you were a Slytherin and he was a Gryffindor, even though….even though.
Remus wasn’t supposed to have any of this, yet here he was. And he wasn’t supposed to ever have children of his own, yet…
“Oh Godric.” Remus breathed out as he sat back in his chair; both hands over his mouth in a silent gasp as he stared unseeingly past his three friends.
“You know Sunny loves you to the stars and back, Remus.” Sirius started earnestly. “And the fact that you think she could have ever betrayed you like that-”
“I didn’t.” Remus hissed. “I don’t.”
“I know, Rem.” Lily offered, even though Sirius didn’t seem all that convinced. “It’s just what you thought made the most sense at the time.”
But it really didn’t make sense at all. The thought would have absolutely never crossed his mind in a million years if he hadn’t been told his entire life that this was just impossible for him.
“Have you wanted kids, Rem?” James asked quietly then, and Remus’ eyes came back into focus as he looked at Harry.
Harry, who was the spitting image of James, who had Lily’s eyes, who had Sirius’ mischief. Who was loved beyond measure and loved his parents exactly as they were.
Did he want kids? He certainly liked kids. He loved Harry. He thinks he’d be a good dad… that is, if it weren’t for the lyca-
“I can see where your mind is going, Remus.” Lily interrupted his spiralling then. “We didn’t ask if you should be a dad - which is not even a question, by the way - we asked if you wanted to be.”
“Yes.” Remus whispered; the answer came so easily.
“Alright then.” Sirius declared, sitting Harry up as if they both meant business. “So let’s pretend - even for a sodding second - that Y/N did end up pregnant by some random imaginary bloke that doesn’t exist. This would mean that she apparently had many options, yet she came running to tell you. She’s pregnant, and she wants to do this with you.”
And if Remus didn’t feel like an arse before, he certainly felt like one now. He knows you would never do that to him, of course he does. But even if you had the choice of 100 other men to father your child - all of whom would be able to provide for you better, who wouldn’t risk the safety of your child every month, who wouldn’t risk passing that curse down to your child, who wouldn’t make their life harder by simply being the offspring of a werewolf - you wanted it to be him. You wanted Remus.
The good, the bad, and The Wolf - you wanted him all.
“I think you need to go talk to your girlfriend, Moons.” James offered with a hopeful smile, and Remus couldn’t agree more.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
The flat was quiet when Remus stepped through the floo; the entire space seemed spotless, evidence of your anxious tidying taking over after Remus took off.
Remus tried to tamp down the guilt and shame working its way up his throat as he took off his shoes and jacket, placing them in their designated spots lest he disrupt the perfect kept house you’ve worked on all afternoon (and well into the evening, now that Remus could see that the sun was long gone from the sky).
He found you in the living room at the desk bent over a book and some papers, and Remus found himself smiling without his consent when he was brought back to late nights in the Hogwarts library; his grades profiting greatly simply because he wanted to find any excuse to be in your company. He’d find out later that you were doing the same.
You looked over at him expectantly, and Remus felt his heart splinter at the cautious, uncertain expression on your face. It was as though you were afraid of him, like you weren’t sure what he was about to do or say.
“Dove?” He ventured. “Can we talk?”
“That’s what I’d been trying to do, Remus.” You merely whispered, and Remus can’t remember the last time he’d ever heard you sound so small.
He made for you immediately, crouching down beside your chair so that he could look up at you. “I’m so sorry, baby, I-”
“And you accused me of whoring around and ran out on me.” You added, and the final fracture split Remus’ heart in two when he saw your eyes well with tears. “Remus, I would never-”
“I know dove, I know.” Remus insisted, reaching up to take your face in both of his, quickly wiping at the tears falling from your lower lashes. “I know you wouldn’t. I know that, I just- I didn’t think it was possible for me, I didn’t think I’d ever be able to have kids.”
You sucked in a shuddering breath and closed your eyes, clearly trying to will away the onslaught of emotions. Remus felt like scum of the earth.
“I never imagined I’d ever get a chance like this.” He whispered.
“Well,” you offered primly, and Remus could tell you were working hard to imbue a certain levity to your words, “I’m not sure that you should, now. Taking off on me like that.”
Remus knew you were joking, but he sighed at you as he pouted his lips. “M’so sorry, dove.”
“You should be.” You agreed, though you leaned forward to press your forehead against his.
The two of you sat in silence for some time; you evening out your breathing, and Remus drawing circles with his thumbs where they rested on your arms as his legs started to cramp.
“Are you really going to have my baby?” He whispered then; the weight of the words finally settling somewhere deep within his soul, though not unpleasantly.
“Well, yes, but I’m not going to do it on my own.” You responded, sitting up to look at Remus imploringly. “So what do you say, Lupin? Are you in or out?”
In, of course. All the way in; for as long as he lived, for as long as you wanted him, he was in. He was all in.
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#remus lupin#remus lupin fic#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin fanfiction#remus lupin blurb#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin imagine#marauders#the marauders#hp marauders#remus lupin fluff#fem!reader#marauders as dads#pregnant!reader#pregnancy trope#pregnancy fic#black!sister#ellecdc fics#background jilypad
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Apollo laughed, anger in his eyes
"Absolutely not. You haven't earned that"
"We haven't earned basic respect? "
"No. Normally I'd start out that way, but I spent all of yesterday afternoon and night trying to comfort my 4 year old when she cried over her favorite thing being destroyed. The fact that you can let your child behave that way and be fine with that has shown me you do not deserve my respect or civility"
"It's just a bag. How much did it cost? Here"
The boy's father pulled out his wallet and tried to hand him a bunch of money, much more than the bag was worth. Apollo just stared at it in disgust while Audrey bit back a smile and enjoyed the show
"Your child hurt my daughter. Delia has been nothing but kind to pretty much everyone, and you think this is okay? You think you can just pay me off and be done with it? "
"What more is there to do? Boys will be boys, he probably likes her"
"You teach him to learn where his presence isn't wanted and how to show affection outside of harassment and vandalism of her property. Because if he pulled this shit as an adult, he would either get beaten unconscious or arrested"
"Excuse me? "
"You're excused. I don't want your money, that's not why I'm here"
He turned to the teacher, who was cringing in he'd seat from his yelling. He didn't realize his mask had slipped and was scaring the shit out of her
"Are you going to handle this? Or am I going to teach my 4 year old how to throw a punch? "
"I... Um... No.... I'll handle it. It won't happen again, I'm so sorry"
He continued to glare around the room, making everyone cringe, until Audrey squeezed his hand and called him off. The boy's father looked shocked and extremely uncomfortable
The meeting concluded with everyone agreeing to either keep him away from Delia or to teach him that it wasn't okay. As they all walked out of the room, they saw the children in the classroom. They watched almost in slow motion as the boy pulled Delia's hair and she whipped around. They could almost hear her little fist connecting with his face. Blood squirted from his broken nose as he screamed, immediately beginning to cry as Delia's lower lip wobbled
Apollo ran into the room with everyone else right behind him as he kneeled in front of Delia, stroking her face and trying to stop her tears
"It's okay, my baby girl. Are you alright? Did he hurt you? "
"He... Pulled my hair.... "
"I know, love. I saw. You did the right thing? "
"Are you kidding?" Apollo snapped at him, holding Delia to his chest while she cried into his shoulder "That was instant karma. He fucked around and he found out"
"I could sue! "
"Do it! See how far that gets you in court"
Do you think covid existed in the Season? Do you think that for 2020-2021 Zeus couldn't host two Seasons. He had to wait until 2022 when restrictions finally lifted?
I'm gonna assume that covid didn't exist for my own sanity
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"Male loneliness epidemic" shut the fuck up.
You don't want to be lonely? Stop being a right wing incel that repels people with your horrendous personality.
You want me to feel bad for something they do to themselves and then make all of us suffer the consequences for? Fuck off.
Queer people know what it is to be lonely and isolated, and we get from the entire society through systemic bullshit bigotry while you're just upset individual women find you to be a gross loser, and we don't make it everyone else's fucking problem when we do.
Fucking hell, if women not wanting to touch your flacid prick is your excuse to be a Nazi, then you were probably already going to be a fucking Nazi. Fuck off. I'm so tired of hearing about this.
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like a phoenix. (2.7k words)
what if phoenix- instead of being virtually indestructible, actually wasnt? what if he was actually incredibly prone to death, but he just… never stayed dead?
(trigger warning for a multitude of causes of deaths!! some in detail and some not. other tw’s include implied suicide attempts, implied child neglect, derealisation and thinking one is already dead. be warned! take care of yourself!)
at 9, he wakes in his bed after having a high fever and his mom ships him off to school hours after it began. he finds it odd, because last he’d checked his temperature (that morning, when he told his mom he felt like he was going to die and his mom had left to go run errands, barely sparing him a glance), his temperature had been at 107 degrees farenheit. that was definitely high, but after he slipped into unconsciousness, writhing and restless and in a lot of pain, he woke up to his mother checking his temperature and saying he was fine to head off to school. he didnt feel fine, but his temperature had gone down significantly enough that his mother felt like he had no excuse not to go. hes glad he went to school though, even as he shivered, sneezed and sniffled, because there he found a friend in a boy with a funny bowtie and a heart made of gold.
he crunches and chokes on glass shards and poison but doesnt die. the doctors dont find anything wrong with him, aside from feeling a bit ill, so he goes back into the courtroom and dollie is convicted of murder. hes happy his roommate is away for some theatre troupe thing, because the sickness eventually catches up to him and he throws up shards of glass, acid and blood. it cuts into his throat and burns his eyes and he swears, he swears he dies right then and there, freezing and shaking and everything hurts. but when he wakes up hours later, the sun having set and the only light source in his dingy dormroom the moon outside, hes amazed to not feel sick anymore. but the puddle of sludge is drying beside his face and he considers himself lucky, or maybe unlucky, because unlike dahlia’s other victims, he actually lives to tell the tale.
phoenix arrives early to the office, having been in the public library nearby reading a book on reincarnation. he enters the office and promptly has his skull caved into his brain. he does not see his assailant, but when he wakes, theres an oddly dressed girl crying, crouched over his boss’ cold body. he doesn’t think about the drying blood in the back of his head, or how cold mia’s body is (and why he can even tell, considering the fact he has not touched her corpse) or the chapter in the book he’d been reading that talked about quantum immortality— all he thinks of is proving maya fey’s innocence.
as it turns out, being constantly anxious and terrified of mortal peril actually has its perks. maybe the fact he’s a lawyer whose only ever dealt with homicide cases definitely wasn’t benefiting his mental wellbeing either. in any case, its that fear of literally everything and constant feeling of impending doom that makes his body react before his mind does. taser! danger! maya! so, he gets tasered. and it fucking HURTS, but he feels more relieved than frightened as the searing pain shoots through him, because he’d been able to push maya away before von karma got to them both. wasnt a symptom of death by electrocution an overwhelming feeling of helplessness and imminent death? maybe he was going crazy. when he comes back though, its to his head in the lap of a crying spirit medium, so maybe a psychotic break isnt too bad if it means everyone else gets to escape with no damage to their own psyche.
its only after she stops screaming in terror- oh my god, nicks a zombie!! kyahh!!!- and nearly beating him with her bulky magatama necklace, that she tells him what she saw. (“like, there was a sudden bright light and then i realised it was coming from you! but when i tried to touch your glowing skin,” she says it like its the most absurd thing she’d ever seen, which really said something considering the fact she was from a family of people who could channelthe dead “it was HOT! like, japanifornia summer hot! blazing! i was only able to check your pulse after you cooled down a bit…”). maybe its this that makes him less alarmed by the way his skin glowed in the dark of his trashed bedroom, after drinking himself to death following a certain phone call from a terribly sad, newly bossless detective. he doesnt think he can bear the taste alcohol ever again, after that.
maybe the number of times he’s died of blunt force trauma to the head should be a cause for concern, even more so when he wakes up without any of his memories. he’s terrified, and doesnt even knows who he is, until he does, and is able to prove maggey byrde innocent. fun times! he should probably watch out to make sure his next death wasn’t to the head, lest he be as mentally impaired as a number of people liked to say he was… (and he should probably also be concerned by the fact he was already thinking of the next time he’d die, but ah well, blame it on the concussion).
as it turns out, getting whipped to death was not on his list of ways he thought he’d die next, but life liked to mess with him like that, it seemed. still, dragging his delirious self to the bathroom of his office to try and save the infected wounds from killing him wasn’t all that fun, and he’s immediately reminded of his first death, slow and painful, alone and scared of what came next. he feels bad for feeling relieved when maya shows up and screams upon seeing the state he and the bathroom (that’d he’d accidentally trashed when his legs gave out after he opened the door, a number of bottles fallen to the floor beside him) were in. he stops her from calling the police- there was no point, he didn’t have much time left. but when she asks what she could do, he goes quiet. (…just… stay here? i dont- he coughs up a distinctly red shade of spit. maya makes a noise between a choked cry and a whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck. but phoenix was shivering worse now, and hugs himself tigher. i dont want to die alone.) so she stays with him, on the cold bathroom floor, as his labored breathing eventually slows. when he awakens, he finds maya asleep leaning against him, and promises to get her burgers as a thank you.
who knew death by a monkey throwing a giant bronze bust of max galactica at you could happen? at this point, he’s almost glad he was basically immortal, because there was no way in hell he’d allow his autopsy report to say ‘cause of death: monkey manslaughter’! edgeworth would laugh himself to tears if he saw! not that he could see. or cry, because he was dead. and not coming back. damn.
so edgeworth isnt dead! yippee? he thought it was his thing to get reanimated after death, not edgeworths. when he saw him, standing in the middle of the police department, alive and breathing and very much not dead, he nearly started laughing. he must’ve finally gone insane! curse the amount of times he’d died of brain related injuries, not that he knew how many of them there were at this point. he might actually have laughed a bit, because pearls was looking at him like he was losing it (he was) but he couldnt really bring himself to care as he had more pressing issues at hand, like saving his best friend from a crazy serial killer holding her hostage, and punching his other best friend in the face for faking his own death (because really, dying was his thing! not edgeworths!). and if he pulls edgeworth into a hug immediately after, throwing caution in the wind (you only live once, right?), the warmth- a normal, human temperature, unlike his burning hot when he came back from death- is enough to stabilise his harried mind for just a moment, before he has to return to his guilty client and his hopeless situation.
by some crazy turn of events, he actually doesnt die from having boiling hot coffee thrown at his face. it burns, and maya screams when she sees the boils on his face after that first trial with godot, but after throwing a wet towel over his face and putting him in timeout on the sofa for 12-hours, the burns go away as if they were never there. he fell asleep at some point, and after alot of back and forth debate, they eventually came to the conclusion that 1. his body heat rising to burning levels when he dies must have caused his body has to grow immune to heat and 2. since sleep was like a ‘temporary death’, a ‘temporary wound’ would just heal like it did when he died of normal wounds, right? he didn’t want to dwell on it too much, because maya was looking at him like she wanted to test that theory for real, so he quickly changes topics before things got out of hand.
so their theory on the immunity to heat thing was correct! …almost. larry had tried to stop him, but it was fire and he was basically immune to heat, right? nope! his skin burned and boiled but he didn’t die as he tried to run across the burning bridge. even so, nothing hurt more than falling through one of the burnt planks and slamming onto the surface of the freezing cold rushing stream below. luckily the death was near immediate, but unfortunately he came to while in the water still, so he swallowed a sizeable amount of water before paramedics arrived. he hears the doctors find his survival miraculous, despite the scorching hot fever he was now under. he blacks out again, and comes to in the hospital, feeling absolutely terrible.
the horribleness feels familiar though, and when edgeworth walks in, he realises what it must be, when the man presses the back of his hand to his temple and quickly pulls his hand away as if burned. (oh. he thinks, tearing up despite himself. it must be the fever. i’m going to die like this again.) his internal monologue must’ve been external though, because edgeworth balks (‘again?!’). but phoenix was crying in hiccups and sobs, feeling terrible and like he was nine years old again, wishing his mother were there to nurse him back to health like she’d never done before. he faintly hears edgeworth sitting down on his bed and reaches out, gripping the mans waist like it was a lifeline. in a sense, it was. “don’t go.” he whispers, gripping the man tighter like he’d disappear into thin air (again). “please, please don’t go.” in his delirium, he nearly wails in despair when he feels edgeworth move, but he was only moving to readjust himself so he’s lying next to him, their bodies so close that it must burn, but the only sign edgeworth shows that he’s in pain is a wince and the crease of his brow. he allows himself to be cried on, curling a protective arm over phoenix’s burning body. “i- i dont know what’s going on, wright, but i’m not, i’m not going anywhere, okay?” he seems to be attempting exasperation, but it comes out terrified and concerned, but phoenix is fading quickly, so it might just be his waning mind making up things that don’t exist. “i am terrified. your body is life threateningly hot and— wright? wright!”
he comes to with nurses surrounding him, and a distressed edgeworth swearing on his life that that man was dead, his body was seizing and on fire and- and his heart stopped beating! but phoenix couldn’t dwell on it, because the mention of fire immediately brought him back to why he was in the hospital at all. and plus, it gave him the chance to use his best friends sensitive treatment of him afterwards to convince him to play defense attorney, so that was nice. still, he feels like he dies when he finds out dahlia had actually been iris and that godot was actually his dead mentors apparently not dead boyfriend. oh, and he was also a murderer. he also feels like he dies when dahlia- actual, serial killer and dead by execution dahlia, was exorcised from maya’s body. but that had more to do with his soul leaving his body in terror rather than actually dying, so that was a nice change of pace… probably.
later, he’d had to have a conversation with edgeworth to give him an explanation on just what the hell he’d witnessed in that hospital room. although, apparently his re-aliving symptoms must’ve started becoming more dramatic, because miles describes it as his whole body glowing as bright as the sun, and then his eyes opening for a moment to reveal nothing but white, glowing eyeballs with no irises. phoenix has to convince him to still board his flight the day after, that he was okay… probably. maybe not safe, but definitely okay. (still, edgeworth stays the night at his, and they hold eachother close, basking in the shared warmth of two alive bodies in heat equilibrium, listening to eachothers breathing and rhythmic heartbeats, no signs of impending mortality in sight, save for, what did the french call it? la petite morte? most of all, phoenix basks in the promise miles makes to him. “i’m not going anywhere,” he repeats, over and over like he was trying to convince himself as much as he was phoenix. “i’m not going anywhere, i promise.”)
and when he loses his badge, he thinks he really does die, permanent and definitively. he feels far away from his body when the forger is called to the witness stand. feels like a ghost when the council walks out the room and past him, making no eye contact and answering the unanswered question on the tip of his tongue. feels his life crumble to pieces when a blonde man with a pleasent, almost saintly smile gives him the most maddeningly sympathetic look and tells him he is sorry for his loss, as if there really was someone dead. only, the only one dead must’ve been him, because there was no one else there who had just lost their life. he couldn’t even hear himself as he laughed, which turned into sobs, as he excused himself and fleed to his bicycle. not one pedestrian bats an eye at the state he is in, so he must really be a ghost, cycling past speeding cars and large trucks and buses as if it couldn’t kill him, because he wasn’t there, he was already dead. when he reaches his office, freezing and quiet and dreadfully void of any human life, he passes by the window his boss had died at and sees his reflection, unkempt and red faced and badgeless. he wants to scream, but he couldn’t because no one would hear a ghost scream, so instead he just sits down in the spot his mentor had lost her life in, and mourns.
when two weeks later a warm, incredible alive life falls into his hands in the shape of a little girl with a too big tophat and a joy for being alive that he’d lost years ago, well, maybe he is glad that he couldn’t die for real, if only to be able to wake up to that beaming grin as his little girl tries to pull her daddy out of bed because she’d made breakfast, and it only smells burnt because of the magic something she’d added as a special ingredient. he eats it, char and all, because he can’t taste the burnt-ness of it anyway, but he could taste the love and care put into it, and that was more than enough to take his mind away readying himself for his next death. instead, he thinks of his daughter’s next performance at the wonder bar, and their next trip to kurain, and miles’ next visit. for once, he thinks of living.
#this was supposed to be an idea in bullet point form but it morphed into a fic#maybe i’ll repost this on ao3 with more detail#i dunno how i didnt realise how quickly this’d become angsty. tbh i thought itd be really funny if maya was like ‘NICK dont die on the SOFA#THE NEXT EPISODE OF NICKEL SAMURAI IS ABOUT TO COME ON AND YOUR BODY IS TOO WARM FOR ME TO ENJOY IT’#narumitsu#ace attorney#aa#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#maya fey#mia fey#godot#dahlia hawthorne#diego armando#angst#fanfiction#fanfic prompt#actual phoenix phoenix wright#wrightworth#mitsunaru#headcanon#naruhodo ryuichi#mitsurugi reiji#ayasato mayoi#gyakuten saiban#ace attorney trials and tribulations#ace attorney justice for all#trucy wright#pearl fey#my post
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incredible rare opinion but I think Heimerdinger is the most complex character in all of Arcane and the biggest reason for that alone is that he isn't human and is 300+ years old.
other characters such as Jinx, Silco, Caitlyn, etc. really are complex don't get me wrong, but its mainly grief or psychotic behaviour and thinking due to quick horrible events that they haven't had the time or resources to heal from. Products of their environment and time.
Hiemerdinger however is such an interesting character to write and react about simply because of his life span and race. he has fucked up, he has had time to see things, meet people, etc. but those hundreds of years can really drain a person. Not to mention there aren't any yordles around him (which is what race he is in LOL and Arcane) from what we can see, or anyone close to that race. I mean look at the wiki on yordles!
he is simply a product of his environment like everyone else! He is probably so incredibly lonely. having to see people he's gotten close to die from age, see the counsel change and adapt, its why he wasn't as comforting to Victor as he could be. he's older and for that he knows how to distance himself like Vi. The only difference between him and the other humans characters is he's had far more years of that environment. I honestly find it unfair how you guys see him, because you guys can excuse or justify all the "bad" behaviour seen in other humans characters but not him.
#not to mention the way you guys treat him over his height is very weird#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane league of legends#league of legends#lol#heimerdinger#silco arcane#jinx arcane#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#heimerdinger arcane#I just love his character so much and cant stand all the hate for him :(#not babying him btw I just wish more people would focus on his complexity#possible arcane spoilers#arcane spoiler#I hope this makes sense#please join the discussion btw I would love to hear peoples thoughts on this
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"Wei Ying would have never been able to escape being a scapegoat"
YES. FUCKING YES. SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME SAID IT!
It never mattered what Wei Ying did. He was always going to be a scapegoat purely because of the cultivation he used and his status as a servant.
Wei ying isn't flawless. He makes many mistakes but none of them had anything to do with how he was treated towards the end. Mxtx actually tests you for this too. If you actually think Wei Ying caused his own ostracization then you've fallen into the same propaganda as everyone else in the story. If you agree with madame yu or even Jiang Cheng that he had a part to play in the near genocide of the Jiangs then you have also fallen for the same propaganda.
The number of people who genuinely agree with Madame Yu and JC on that last point is astounding. Imagine thinking a teenager being insolent is a fair reason to fault them for the death of an entire clan and not instead blame the people using it as an excuse to kill that very same clan. It's like mxtx tests her readers over and over. Just to see if her readers can zoom out to see the bigger picture.
The clans were never going to accept the wens. The fact that Wei ying-a servant- owned something that made him so powerful was also another reason why they were never going to leave him alone. People keep talking about culture and using it to justify the actions of their favs and completely ignoring the one that's staring them in the face and repeatedly and directly brought up in the story
None of our hands are clean
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Roy and Jason being the disgruntled couple/friends (they are friends though)
Roy walked over to the Wayne sons and their father, bringing his daughter Lian along. He plopped down next to Jason, who immediately patted him on the back.
Jason Todd: I missed you.
Roy Harper (hesitantly): ...Okay.
Jason (feigning anger): You never say it back!
Roy: I just saw you yesterday.
Jason: Why are you so bad with emotions? I’m all like, “I missed you,” and you’re just sitting there, looking all, “Cool blah.” You’ll never be like, “Yo, I fucking missed you too!” Lian, don’t say fuck.
Lian (pulling out her art supplies): Got it.
Roy (annoyed): I didn’t miss you, though.
Jason (pretending to be sad): But I’m not with you all the time.
Roy (raising an eyebrow): So, the second you leave, I should miss you already?
Jason: Yes.
Roy (confused): What the hell?!
Jason: When I leave Dick or Damian, sometimes Tim... sometimes Bruce, I miss them. You should feel the same about me.
Roy: Your brothers and your dad? That doesn’t count!
Jason: Yes, they’re my family and you’re—
Dick (cheerful): You miss us? You miss me! Cool!
Tim (confused): I got “sometimes?”
Bruce (happy): You miss me sometimes? Aww, thanks, kid.
Jason: See, even Bruce gets it.
Roy: What am I, then?
Jason: Hmm... How do I word this correctly?
Damian (coloring a picture): You’re his work husband.
Lian (coloring with Damian): Yeah, work husband.
Everyone else nodded in agreement.
Jason: There you go! Thank you.
Roy: I— fuc— frick it, fine. I missed you... a bunch.
Jason: Awww, I missed you too, hubby!
Roy covered his face and sighed, wondering how he had ended up in this situation.
Roy: How am I the normal one in our friendship?
Lian (excusing her father's reaction): He’s just not used to this type of love.
Roy: Sweetie, don’t play along.
#roy harper and jason todd#roy harper#they're the less toxic version of these characters#roy is the work husband#batfamily#batman#jason todd#this is the only man for Jason#jason loves pushing his buttons#batman fanfiction#batfamily fanfiction#batfamily chronicles#batfamily shenanigans#batfamily headcanons#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#batfamily funny#batfamily comedy#damian wayne#microfiction#flash fiction#headcanon batfamily#batfamily microseries#script fic#i don't ship them but they do have a great friendship#part of my batfamily flash fiction#batfamily fic#batfamily fluff#dc fanfiction
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The amount of people willingly forgetting that cuts are common in promotional footage/teasers is... worrying.
#'lol why is the camera work so bad; why does it jump to her being on the stairs?'#because it's OBVIOUSLY not the full song you dipshit!#like even as someone whose Audio/Visual editing skills are intermediate#that was pretty obvious to me#so what the fuck is everyone else's excuse?
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if he says he’s into you but still interacts with other girls he’s not interested don’t fall for the lie
#AHHHHHH why are men so scuzzy#like fuck the dating aspect#common fucking courtesy when you’re even talking to someone#your attention shouldn’t be directed towards anywayone else#because why the fuck are you even in a relationship or talking to someone if you’re just gonna fuck around anyway#like homeboy#it’s so fucking slimey#all while shit talking people who do this sort of thing#and i hate the fucking ‘I’m lonely’ excuse#like holy fucking shit cry about yourself a little more#what i get to sit twirling my thumbs waiting and you can do whatever the fuck you want#because you’re LONELY#and then to be like ‘i felt like a creep if i was spamming your photos part gets me the most#CUZ HOMEBOY WAS DOIN IT TO EVERYONE ELSE#no I know why people mistook him for being interested#homeboy simply cant stop thinking with his dick#sucks2suck#good luck finding someone better that’ll put up with your bullshit
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Bernie Sanders finally made a statement, on Nov. 4, calling for a "pause" in the bombing. People in the replies are saying "better late than never!" and I don't even know where to start.
The genocide has been going on for almost a month. Over 9,000 men, women, and children have been murdered. Thousands more have been wounded. Members of press and healthcare and their families have been deliberately targeted and assassinated. Israel has been murdering civilians en masse with impunity for weeks, both lying about it and blatantly admitting to it. 100+ Palestinians have been murdered in the West Bank due to settler terrorism backed by the Israeli army.
In an interview, Dr. Ofer Cassif, the Knesset member who was suspended for calling for an end to Israeli violence against Palestinians, revealed that he'd reached out to Bernie months prior to Oct. 7th because of the pogroms being carried out by Israelis against Palestinians which he said would result with an "explosion [of violence]", but received no response.
what the fuck do you mean "better late than never". what the fuck do you mean? the genocide is still ongoing, and, just like Blinken, Biden, and every complicit ghoul, he's calling for a pause. not a ceasefire. a ceasefire is just the start of what needs to happen. but he hasn't even called for that.
"better late than never" what gives you the fucking right to say that? tell that to the 10,000 people who the U.S. and its allies allowed Israel to murder. tell that to the thousands of wounded. tell that to the thousands who have been displaced. tell that to the people of Gaza who have been without food, water, and fuel for WEEKS. tell that to the Palestinians in the West Bank who are being murdered at the hands of settler terrorists. tell that to the Palestinians who were abducted and tortured and released with blue bands around their ankles. tell that to the Palestinians in occupied Palestine who can't reach their families and friends. tell that to Palestinians in diaspora who have seen their families, their friends, their people slaughtered with the full backing and support of the vast majority of western governments and media.
"better late than never" no, it's not good enough. IT'S NOT. there are SO many people around the world - both citizens and members of government - who recognized the injustice for what it was the DAY the bombing started. we owe the Palestinian people so much more than that. "better late than never" the ONLY thing that could POSSIBLY begin to even "make up" for the horrors and injustices inflicted upon the Palestinian people for almost a century is to end the genocide, end the occupation, end the apartheid, end settler colonialism, and dismantle the colonial state. Palestinians deserve NO LESS than total emancipation. Complete liberation. until then, it is not and will never be enough.
#sorry for spiel i just. got so mad. 'better late than never' DO YOU SEE ANY PALESTINIANS SAYING THAT? I WONDER WHY!#also the idea that we can just 'forgive and forget' if a ceasefire is called is insane and out of the question.#there is NO going back to 'business as usual'. we CANNOT and should not expect things to 'how they were before'.#god. i just. USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also this is not like a total endorsement of cassif idk much about him im adding him in as a means to point to bernie's complicity#as far as im concerned bernie is just as complicit as everyone else.#if you are a bernie fan do NOT @ me i am NOT going to debate on this.#im sure hes not all evil nto all bad but it doesnt MATTER. he is COMPLICIT and that will not change. not for the rest of his LIFE.#people like tlaib and c. bush knew what was what within the first days of the bombing. theres no fucking excuse for his inaction!#AND I SAY ALL OF THIS AS SOMEONE WHO LIKED BERNIE.#📁.zip
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Sometimes I try to write down thoughts about this campaign but I admittedly have not been paying enough attention to feel confident in my character analysis so I write an incoherent text post and then delete it because I don't know if I'm actually making the correct judgments.
#cr spoilers#in the tags#so i'm going to rant in here instead if you keep reading past this you can't get mad at me#anyway i want to talk about ashton#and how they would have been absolutely intolerable in c1 or c2#where every character was invested in saving the world#for one reason or another#and c3 is just like#orym is the only one talking sense and everyone else is just like 'well maybe?'#but matt also said something about being ready for exandria to shift drastically based on their chocie#and if matt weren't ready for exandria to change ashton would be harder to watch than they are now#idk taliesin does quite often play around with hypocrisy with his characters so i'm not really surprised#by ashton claiming to stand up for the little person and then going and being willing to blow up their entire world#like they're not actually thinking about the 'little person'#they're thinking about themselves and that's really it#but yeah i do keep waiting for someone to say something that gives ashton that realization#that they can't use their trauma as an excuse to blow up everyone else's lives#idk i'm running out of steam#it's interesting to watch taliesin play around with this#but i've got to say that if they don't make a fucking choice about what they're actually going to do#idk i'm just ready for them ALL to stop waffling#okay now i'm done#i still have a lot of thoughts but i'd have to rewatch the whole campaign to feel confident in my talking points#and that's not going to happen lol
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Reminder that hypermobility is not just being a bit more flexible than normal and that if you use someone "just" being hypermobile as a reason to claim they don't count as chronically ill/physically disabled you're an uneducated ableist POS! :)
Did you know that if someone is hypermobile, it actually LIMITS their mobility in some ways? Did you know it frequently causes chronic pain? Did you know that hypermobile people are both more likely to dislocate joints than non-hypermobile people AND are less likely to seek professional medical care when it happens? Did you know that some hypermobile people have to use mobility aids because of their hypermobility? Actually, did you even know that hypermobile people can also be extremely inflexible? Turns out that when your muscles are having to constantly over-compensate to prevent your joints from popping out, they tend to get a bit tense and uncooperative!
Hypermobility is a physical disability and can be a severely limiting one, and it is SHITTY to imply that people with it are just using it as an easy way to claim a "physical disability card". If I catch you saying this shit IRL, I'm gonna hit you with my forearm crutches that I use so my hips don't dislocate in public.
#disability#cripplepunk#hypermobility is already extremely misunderstood so I'm not gonna stand for the cpunk community using it as a gotcha like that#there was so much else shitty about that post and yeah i do have an opinion on the whole NDs in crippunk spaces thing#but 1. i don't wanna clutter this post up and make it super obvious if it's not already what post prompted this#and 2. this issue is NOT an acceptable excuse to play fucking Oppression Olympics like everyone has turned it into#you know who FOR SURE doesn't belong in cpunk spaces? ableists#don't care if you're physically disabled yourself you do NOT get to use a punk-community movement to further ableist rhetoric against ANYON#not on my watch
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fascinating (in a bad way!)
#so like what went wrong???#jessie and dj were for sure talented and disciplined#but did them leaving take ALL of that out of the room for everyone else??#maybe defensive coaching has gone down hill?#i'd still say i'm for keeping lou because he DOES come up with effective schemes#we still held mahomes to the fewest yards this year#and until that very last run yesterday we were doing a good job stopping derrick henry#lou knows HOW to do it#he just doesn't seem to have the guys who can execute anymore for whatever reason#maybe the key is hiring new position coaches on defense?#and certainly bringing in new talent via FA and the draft#and again all these defensive guys we have HAVE flashed and shown really good stuff#it's just consistency!#i have no idea exactly what sans is describing here#but logan and germaine have no excuse to fuck up like that#crazy! crazy!!! what a waste!!!
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i fear that i don’t acknowledge enough the fact that i KNOW rhinedottir's evil !!! and she's horrible !!! and that she's wholly ireedamable !!! i know and love and respect that fact !!! i'd shoot myself in the frontal lobe if hoyo made her out to NOT be wholly evil !!!! but the reason i always go on and on and on about her humanity and complexity is because. SHE IS ALWAYS DUMBED DOWN !!!! TO JUST THAT !!!! it's literally the greatest and most moving theme (IN MY OPINION!!!) in genshin, that human beings are COMPLEX !!!! and they're MORE than just evil or bad or wtv. we see this through every character to almost ever be introduced to us -> literally just take arlecchino as an example. if anyone was at all paying attention to the discourse around her when the fontaine teaser dropped (and. 4.0 in general) it was the BIGGEST thing to watch people argue between "she's a harbinger, so she's clearly the most evil and the big antagonist of fontaine because of these accounts we have right now !!" versus the argument of "we've only seen ONE perspective of her so far, and it's no duh that all this stuff sucks -- but there's no way she's JUST gonna be all these horrible things,, because literally nobody to exist is just horrible and cruel with zero to no good in them. and also that'd make a shit narrative by hoyo in a story driven game" AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED !!!! we saw !!! in REAL time !!! that while arlecchino was rightfully cruel and horrible and, yes the things she did were fucked up beyond belief and she should absolutely not be excused for any of it - she is NOT just evil ! she's shown to care, albeit in a fucked up way that only shows she's even more deranged ; but what's so incredibly important about her is the way that her being "evil" doesn't mean she's incapable of anything else. She is evil, yes— but so many of those evil actions have *motives* and *reasons* that explain them (but not excuse or condone!) and, although they don’t save her grace or anything of the sort, they DO show her true character. AND YHATS SO IMPORTANT!!!! She’s capable of being an antagonist while still being justified in some form, and given nuance and backstory and redeemable traits
I am !!! NEVER !!! going to say rhinedottir is a good person. she isn't! no shit sherlock ! how the fuck do you think im gonna go on and ignore the fact she sent both her kids to their deaths, and also fed one to another. dare i say, that is NOT anything good !!! suprise of the century !! woah !!! -- but what i AM gonna say is that she's much beyond that? hello !! not only has the point of her having not a zero good trait or will in her body been. proven false over and over and over again. but it's such ! Sad and not compelling is character choice for her *not* to be nuanced and complex and justified in a fucked up !! — like do you REALLY think hoyoverse (who is clearly capable of, and likes to make) complex characters, who are horrible, while not being *only* those horrible things, would pass up a golden (haha) opportunity to make a characters whose entire existence is JUST that??!,!2????
believe what you want! Do what you want! This is a silly video game that will be eroded along with time in a hundred in so years ! But god so help me, please don’t be willfully ignorant to the complexity and nuance of characters, just because you want a villain. No villain , real or not, is entirely evil. People are complex and multi faceted and people really, really need to hop off this cart of going “okay but stop saying she’s multifaceted because it takes away from her being evil” because it DOESNT! If anything, it makes her so much more compelling . Which is something some people can apparently. Not handle.
#this isn’t even MENTIONING that she survived the cataclysm and#the implications that you guys are going to immediately villainize the one that got their nation destroyed. rather than the ones#that destroyed and cursed the people of it#HELLO.#-> I don’t see asmoday fans! or phanes fans!#because people are SO ignorant to things when it isn’t shoved in your face#you guys care about Rhinedottir this much because she’s so publicized. but celestia is JUST as bad and I have yet to see more than like#three fans of them. the group/faction who fit people’s perception of Rhinedottir even more than#Rhine herself#(not including the istaroth fans. you are all lovely. I love you guys.)#(thank you for being insane over her.)#-> like yesss guys! let’s demonize and antagonize the war survivor who went through just as much trauma as everyone else#who was just human (a point which was just established in the Fontaine quest to be HUGE when it comes to such extensive trauma like that)#and is clearly fucked up in the head. a tad against her decison#IM NOT SAYING THAT EXCUSES HER??? NO SHIT IT DOESNT???#but GOD so help me. THATS HER REASON!#HER OERSONAL JUSTIFICATION! MOTIVE!#why do people have to be so obsessed with making her an unjustified and evil entity when she’s. not that#she’s justified! even if it isn’t by a practical standard!#but I need YOU to put yourself into her shoes for a second#how the fuck would YOU react to your people being murdered and cursed#being wholly antagonized by everyone to live#experiencing isolation from society#and then going through the whole ‘like teo thirds of my magnum opuses just died’ thing#this isn’t even! to MENTION! the fact she holds a fucked up sense of affection for them?#do you truly think she felt NOTHING#I don’t care if you wanna talk about her sending them out to be killed. that doesn’t meant she can’t feel grief#they’re DRAGONSdeidgned for destruction what the fucj did you expect#-> hate her all you want! that’s okay! but don’t villainize her for no reason other that uoucamt think beyond surface level#crepe rambles
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How on earth is harris v trump a tight race??? How do ppl look at donald trump having SEEN the way he acted in his presidential term, seen his LENGTHY criminal record, seen the fact that NOBODY else in his party aside from some loose hanging cultists wants to associate with him, seen the way he literally incited riots after losing an election which resulted in at least seven deaths, seen his total lack of coherent policy plan, and think yeah well but Kamala is a cop. Which isn’t even fucking true
#she keeps painting herself as a cop which is bad for leftist audiences but so good for attracting literally everyone else#and its funny bc she’s not a cop. she’s a middle of the road average prosecutor. there is one thing on her record where im like ok that’s#indefensible and its her defense of prison labor in like 2011. everything else that ive heard of sounds par for the course for her roles at#the time she held them or it sounds like a campaign promise meant to draw the widest net of voters. she ran on progressive policy in 2019#and nobody fucking voted for her! im sorry but ‘’im going to get people killed again if i lose’’ vs ‘’[typical politician speech]’’ is just#such a clear choice to me.#the thing too is democrats let things get shitty so when they run they can be like ‘’i will fix this thing that i totally neglected on#purpose when i couldve fixed it years ago’’. but what is the solution here? how do we get them to stop? elect a republican cult leader? yeah#that’ll show em. that won’t give them more fucking excuses for when they can’t do literally anything#elect a third party candidate? who? where? you think jill stein is going to win her 40th presidential race with the same plan of minimal#campaigning and vapid promises??#anyways. this post isn’t meant as a ‘’vote blue no matter who’’ ‘’get out and vote’’ it’s meant to be like. no fucking way we’re acting like#these candidates are equal.
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if ppl telling you "jewish ppl in israel were already kicked out of other countries and have no where else to go" makes you feel compelled to call whoever said that a "zionist", I really just dont think you give af about jewish ppl's lives quite frankly.
if your "free palestine" means "getting rid" of all jewish civilians in israel I think you're probably just a heartless asshole.
#two state solution ftw#or at least something along those lines#yelling at average jewish ppl who ARENT in israel is antisemitic#anti semitism- no matter how 'big of a deal' you think it is naturally makes jewish ppl feel unsafe by default#where do they go when theres nowhere else thats safe? you guessed it- probably to israel.#which is WHAT netanyahu wants. he wants scared controllable civilians to think hes the only one who can protect them#so you being anti semitic and not checking yourself on it or being 'whatever its nbd' about it is making everything so much worse#STOP BEING SO FUCKING APATHETIC FUCK ILL BEAT YOU UP TO MAKE YOU FEEL SOMETHING IF I HAVE TO#i dont feel like i can in good conscious reblog your 'free palestine' posts bc idk wtf the op thinks about jewish ppl being in#israel. and at this point i dont have faith in leftists to not notice the antisemitism in some of these ppl and call it out#its not something we can 'push aside and deal with and apologize for later' its ACTIVELY MAKING THE SITUATION WORSE AND NEEDS#TO BE ADDRESSED RIGHT THE FUCK NOW#maybe jewish ppl wouldnt be calling it 'self defense' if yall didnt keep being antisemitic and making them feel like they have to cling#to israel to stay tf alive. fuck.#OBVIOUSLY the response to what hamas did is disproportionate and affecting more people than israel says it intends to target#but thats the govt. and actual regular people are worried about their families. its disproportionate and probably being used as an excuse#to genocide palestinians but this wouldnt be happening if hamas didnt basically GIVE the israeli govt the excuse to do it.#free palestine. from hamas and from the israeli govt. and dont have genocidal intent toward jewish ppl.#thats all i want.#hamas' escalation did nothing but hurt everyone and make things worse especially for palestinians.
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