#so we can see more of elle darcy and tara

[stopper-my-heart]

Nothing like Heartstopper S2E8 removing some of Taylor Swift's "seven" lyrics just so that the singing can specifically come back in at "Or hide in the closet" while Isaac is processing difficult emotions related to the book he's reading (i.e., Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen).

Did I mention "Or hide in the closet" hits just as the camera focus finishes shifting away from Isaac?

This is fine

[aliceoseman]

what were the messages on the card for charlie when he was in the clinic? i couldn’t work them all out. ps- as someone who had ocd and had a bad way of coping your writing really is so incredible, i count myself lucky everyday to have those stories and a friend group like i see on your show, seeing scars on screen healed the ashamed 16yr old in me 🌸

I'm so glad to hear that Heartstopper has helped you!! ❤️

So the situation with the card was that we realised very very shortly before we shot the scene that we didn't have any content for the card, so a crew member from the art department asked me on set if I could very quickly write the messages, which I did in my notes app, and then sent that as a screenshot to him where he (or someone on his team, I can't confirm) wrote them into the card itself. I didn't get a photo of the finished card because it all happened very fast and suddenly we were shooting the scene! I don't think I even saw the card interior until it was literally on set. But I do still have the note on my phone with all of the messages written out. It's a shame they didn't all appear on screen but hey, sometimes not every detail makes it into the final thing! Here they all are:

Nick

Hi Char,

You are so strong and you will get through this because you’re amazing.

I love you so so much and I’m always here for you. I miss you and I can’t wait for you to come home when you’re ready to. I love you.

Love Nick x

Tao

Charlie,

School is so weird without my bff. I miss you so much little guy. Please look after yourself or I will be very cross. Love you so much Charlie. And hope you like your present, I can’t wait to hear what you think!

Tao xxx

Elle

Dear Charlie,

We all love you so much and can’t wait to see you soon. I’m so sorry things have been so hard. Things will get better, I know it. I can’t wait for Christmas movie nights with you and the boys!

Elle 

Tara

Hi Charlie,

Sending you so much love and strength. You’re an incredible person and we all care about you so much. I really hope you feel better soon. Love you lots and lots.

Tara xx

Darcy

Hey Charlie,

Life can be so shit sometimes but we will always fight back!! You’re one of the coolest people I know and you’re gonna come back more powerful than ever.

Love you!!!

Darcy

Imogen

Dear Charlie,

Love you so much! You’re an incredible and inspiring person and what you’re going through now will only make you stronger.

#warrior

Lots of love,

Imogen xxxx

Sahar

Charlie!

I miss my music buddy! I miss our chats about good bands. I really hope you’re doing okay and starting to feel better. Love you loads pal!

Sahar x 

Isaac

Hey Charlie,

Miss you so so much. I’m so sorry I didn't try and help more, but the fact that you asked for help yourself just goes to show what a strong person you are. I love you. Get back here soon so we can watch Emma again.

Love Isaac x

[bairdthereader]

Nick gets a lot of (well-deserved) credit for being an amazing boyfriend to Charlie, and we know by now that he's a great friend, too. But what's almost more interesting to me is the underlying core personality trait that enables him to be both of those things--his emotional intuition and intelligence.

You see this in the comics mostly through Nick's facial expressions (no one can look worried like Nick Nelson can), but the show takes it a bit further. He's incredibly in tune with Charlie almost from the get-go. Nick watches him for small emotional cues and recognizes what they could mean, most notably before the confrontation with Ben after rugby practice. He reads between the lines of Charlie's deflections and falsely cheerful texts and pushes (with trademark Nick Nelson sensitivity) for the truth. He notices when Charlie is beset with intrusive thoughts, even if he doesn't know (at least early on) what they're about, and proceeds to interrupt those thoughts. He can read Charlie so well not only because he pays attention, real attention, but because he already has the emotional intuition required to interpret Charlie's inner complexities.

There are many moments throughout the show where we see Nick display this keen insight with everyone in his life, not just Charlie. When Elle, who he barely knows at this point, is upset about being set up with Tao, he immediately seeks to alleviate her distress by offering a true explanation of why she and Tao were invited in the first place--to be part of a triple date. He wants Elle to know that it was important to him (and Charlie, Tara, and Darcy) that she and Tao be there not just to try to set them up, but because they wanted to include them in an important step for both couples (Nick and Charlie just beginning to share their relationship, and Tara and Darcy trying to find acceptance after coming out as a couple). Nick knows that Elle values truth and honesty, and he gives her that so she can feel comfortable with her friends again.

Nick is also incredibly understanding of Tao, who, it has to be said, barely even understands himself for much of the show. There are a lot of scenes where Nick is trying to connect with Tao but maybe oversteps just a tad because he sees more of Tao than Tao is ready to have seen. The moment outside Charlie's house when Tao tells Nick about Elle's art college ambitions, Nick cuts through to the heart of the matter--Tao's concern about missing Elle if she's far away. Nick is the first person in the friend group to connect the dots about what Elle's college acceptance might mean for Tao, and immediately tries to help Tao process those feelings. He's met with anger, but only because he managed to hit a lightning bolt of a nerve in Tao's emotional storm.

And of course there's Imogen, who Nick has known for a long time but begins to understand and appreciate on a deeper level as their relationship moves from superficial connection to true friendship. He sees how sensitive she is, how lonely in some ways, and is always looking out for her, keeping a concerned eye on her. He gives her the space she requests, but also comfort when she lets her walls down enough to ask for it. His innate understanding of what people need--especially when what they need is just someone to be there--is impeccable.

It almost goes without saying, but Nick's emotional wavelength with his mom is similarly strong and nuanced. When Nick comes out to Sarah, he makes sure she understands how important it is to him that she knows--not only that she knows that he's bi, or that Charlie is his boyfriend, but that she knows him. That their relationship is so important to him that he can overcome his fears to share this most vital part of himself. Nick's value of Sarah extends to caring for her when she's dealing with the stress of having his dad and David around. Of course, Nick is still a teenager and there are a lot of scenes that show Sarah's deft handling of Nick's emotions, but it's a two-way street. Nick takes care of her in his own way too.

Nick starts his relationship with Tara and Darcy leaning on them for advice and guidance, but by the end of the show they're leaning on him. Nick sees their struggles, especially Tara's, possibly more clearly than anyone else does because he recognizes some similarities between their situation and his with Charlie. When they're in trouble, he knows Tara needs care and honest advice, even if it's not the most comforting advice. He knows that what they both need is strength and security and tries, in his careful way, to give them those things.

Nick Nelson, always looking out for everyone he loves, keeping them safe as much as he can, hugging them when he can't.

[afinestoutlove]

things i love about heartstopper 17/?

Oh my god the communication. These kids are doing better than most people my age and I love it. Yeah, I know it's idealistic but that's the point, that's why it's great. It shows us what's possible, without having all the characters be perfect.

Because the thing is, they don't always get it right. There wouldn't be much plot if they did (although I would literally watch a whole series of them just communicating effectively and having fun together). There are challenges, and some characters are better at it than others because even in this idealistic world, the characters are all so human. Charlie literally says he hates being honest about his feelings, and he consistently tries to hide things from people in a way that's hugely self-destructive. Darcy hides their abusive family until they reach a major crisis point. Elle doesn't tell Tao she got into Lambert. Nick doesn't tell Charlie he wants to go to Leeds. Tara doesn't really let people see how stressed she is until she has a literal panic attack. Tao lashes out at people in a way that, with other people, could end his friendships.

But, even when they fuck up, they (eventually) talk about it (well, we know Nick will in S4). They talk about things that are hard, even if they have to be forced to it by a crisis point. They do it kindly. They apologise when they get it wrong, or are unkind.

And it's also super important when they listen to each other. Talking is important, but it's only half of communication. Tao, Charlie, and Darcy are all prime examples of people who needed to learn to hear what people are telling them - that they're lovable and loved, deeply cared for. They each did self-destructive and potentially relationship-damaging things because they wouldn't hear that, and they all had to learn.

Another super important element, especially for a teen show (although plenty of adults I know could learn from it) is that they actively demonstrate healthy consent (and also what consent isn't - Ben and Charlie are the obvious examples of that). "How about while I walk you home we talk a bit more about what you're comfortable with?" This is so good. And it shows that consent can be complicated and also how to deal with those complications. Throughout, we see various characters checking in that things are okay. We see them listening, and noticing more than verbal communication. "That didn't sound very sure." This is the kind of ongoing, caring, attentive communication that is key to consent (and not just around sex either).

Where was this energy in the media that was around when I was a teenager?! Bad communication was so romanticised and it really screwed us up! Everyone my age needed to see this idealised approach to communication so badly, we're all scrambling around trying to figure out how to do it in our 30s and 40s.

I'm so damn glad my kids are seeing this and getting an idea of how they can talk about hard things too. Not just romance and sex but friendship and emotions and navigating this shitshow of a world.

[homosandhomies]

i think my two criticisms of season 3 are the pacing and focusing.

season 1 covers about 4 months, season 2 is 3 months, and season 3 is 9 months. that is a significantly longer timespan. because of this, the first half of the season is drawn about at a typical heartstopper pace so we can see the decline of charlie's mental health and stuff. then once he comes back from the clinic we basically speedrun the rest of the year. everyone's having sex! they're looking at uni options! tori's falling for michael! everything is happening all at once and the writers just had to get through all of it with such little time.

as for the focusing. one of my favorite changes to the tv show is that nick and charlie aren't the only main characters. i love them, don't get me wrong, but i love the rest of the characters just as much. making it an ensemble show worked so well because it highlighted different types of stories the audience could relate to.

but season 3 had to focus heavily on charlie because of his eating disorder. i completely understand this and thought the arc was handled nicely. however, the rest of the characters are pushed to the side and don't get their stories fleshed out in the same way. they keep showing hints of tara's anxiety and perfectionism but never totally focus on it. same thing with sahar and imogen's relationship, as well as darcy's move into their grandma's house (which i thought would have been explored more but it's barely talked about). elle and tao definitely got the spotlight they deserved, but the rest of them were hidden. it was all surface-level or skimmed over

anywho, still a really good season, but very disjointed which left a bad taste in my mouth. i would’ve loved to see it broken up into 2 seasons :/

bonus criticism: hayley atwell devoured but you can feel the lack of olivia colman and it made me sad

[leikeliscomet]

Heartstopper's Aspec Representation Isn't For Me - And That's Okay (Mini Essay)

Spoilers for Series 3!

So I just finished series 3 and I feel conflicted. I don't hate Heartstopper at all. I think it's a very cute show. I'm happy queer baby gen z and gen alpha have something to see themselves in, I love how Tara, a darkskin Black lesbian girl is happy in her relationship. I'm happy Isaac makes my fellow aspecs happy. I'm happy Charlie tore Ben's singlet in series 2 and for once the victim/survivor is allowed to not forgive their assaulter. I like Heartstopper's little moments but I've felt like something was missing overall and now we're on the third season, I think I know what it is now. There's comments on BL and yaoi by Alice Oseman I don't fully agree with, some of the acting in the show could be a bit better I guess, most of the characters are comfortably in the British middle class and I am a grown adult now so my interest in school/teen dramas has dipped a little bit (but not you Waterloo Road ily <3). So to an extent, there were always gonna be limits on how much I enjoy this show, but nevertheless, I still think they're worth pointing out, especially if we're claiming Heartstopper for the next gen of queer rep. Because honestly having watched shows like Heartbreak High and Koisenu Futari plus being a massive Selah and the Spades fan, I feel a bit robbed in terms of quality.

Isaac still feels underdeveloped and for a show that's been going on for 3 series now this feels disappointing. Like obviously Nick and Charlie get all the screentime as they're the main characters. Tao and Elle got a lot more juicer storylines from s2, Tara and Darcy got more to work with this series even if it was rushed (oh I miss you long series 2010s shows), but Isaac still feels leaps behind everyone else. He didn't really get anything in series 1. In series 2 we saw him coming to terms with his identity which felt like a good starting point but I was still waiting for the 'big asexual plans' Alice Oseman promised and... nothing. I liked his comment about googling aromanticism to Charlie because the representation by PowerPoint style of aspec writing can get tired. I also liked his moment of feeling left out by his friends plus still wanting to know Nick and Charlie's tea, giving him sexual agency whilst aroace instead of feeding into infantilisation. But apart from that... nothing. I wanted to feel more moved by the aquarium scene, but it felt tacked on because whilst Isaac's upset was justified, Imogen just wanted to chat about gay fish, so Isaac came across as a little passive-aggressive instead of what was supposed to be his moment. Plus it feels a little backhanded how much effort series 1 went to in how big coming to terms with your identity is, plus the gorgeous way Isaac's aroace revelation was filmed in series 2 was filmed just to have him blurt it out in an aquarium and have barely any of his friends actually support him like he supported them. But life imitates art I guess. This whole season we've seen characters talking about university plans, gap years and going through the post-16 struggle. But what about Isaac? We never find out what uni he wants to go to or even if he wants to go. What subjects does he like? What job does he want post-school? What's his relationship like with his family? The people need to know! I always found it weird how Isaac was left out to the point where straight characters, whilst still bearing in mind that Tao x Elle is an interracial pairing between two POC and one of which is a trans girl and this is very rare and deserved representation too, had gotten more screentime than him. Imogen, Sahar, Mr Ajayi and Mr Farouk had all been introduced for bigger storylines but Isaac, despite being in the main group, still had to wait for his share. This series was such a huge moment for everyone but Isaac... again. And whilst I'm happy if everyone else is, I genuinely feel like we all deserve better.

Tori was given bigger moments this series and that was great because I was waiting for my introverted slurping sister to come through. Her concern and care for Charlie and jealousy of Nick were great plus with the introduction of Michael, it was all leading to the big reveal of Tori being ace, right? Right? Wrong, because this scene was cut from the ferris wheel moment and I have no idea why. Oseman confirmed it was because Tori's storyline will continue in s4 and she didn't want to rush it but like, what? Series 3, at least in my eyes, did an alright job at building up her coming out. And again, if Nick could get his bi awakening in a one series arc, why can't this asexual character then too? They also covered Darcy's non-binary transition and coming out in this series too so I don't know why there wasn't room for Tori apparently. There was plenty of room for an 'I'm asexual' within those 5 minutes. Waiting to develop her in series 4, which is yet to be confirmed and likely to be the show's last series so it will already have a lot to do with wrapping up the Nick x Charlie saga seems like a poor decision. This is the second time we've had to wait till next season for the aspec character's arc by the way.

I'd like to see some aroallo POVs on this but this season put a lot of emphasis on linking love and sex together and it felt a bit strange icl. Yes, they're linked socially/societally and it's great to have sex with someone you love and love someone you have sex with etc etc etc but the first 2 series made a point of separating the two by showing love without sex and how it was just as meaningful. Almost every time a character was sexually attracted to another e.g. calling them hot or started making out because they wanted to have sex in that given moment there would be a dialogue from one of them going 'it's okay we're in love 'it's normal you're in love' 'well that's what people in love do!' and these are all correct statements but like... we get it! You don't have to be head over heels in love to find someone sexually attractive or just want to have sex with them. It's okay if you're not in love too y'know? I'm not sure what that constant reassurance was for because depicting sex without love isn't as pearl clutchy as it seems when all parties are safe, consenting and comfortable, or, if you've ever had any knowledge about aro(allo) spaces tbf. Nick and Charlie are not aspec and are very much sexually attracted to each other so the conclusion of them having sex isn't surprising at all, especially when I already knew from tweets back in series 1 that Heartstopper the comic already had a storyline later on of the two having sex for the first time. Plus the other characters aren't aspec either so their sexual debuts are also unsurprising and deserved. Plus, I'm actually glad they included Tara and Darcy having sex because many 'sex positive' shows seem to leave out the lesbians. But for a show with an aroace creator and aspec characters, the depictions of romance and sex don't feel like they were written from an aspec lense or for an aspec audience. It's normal for people to be romantically and sexually attracted to each other and then date and have sex. But if you're aspec, you know this. We all know this. This is the mainstream and default depiction of human (hetero)sexuality. We're watching the queer shows to see something different from that. When romance without sex can only hinge on the characters being below the age of consent plus a supposed 'innocence' due to their young age and sex without love is non existent, plus when you factor in how there are no aroallo or alloace characters in the show with 'groundbreaking' aspec representation, it makes for a bit of a headscratcher. Heartstopper may be made by an aspec, has aspec characters and aspec fans, I don't consider it an aspec show. Bit sad, but it is what it is.

It's honestly strange how despite this fact, asexuality and aromanticism is barely mentioned in the main discourse about this show. Antis claim Oseman is a cishet woman despite being non-binary and aroace. They blame the sexlessness of the show on puritanism despite Oseman being aroace. There's constant arguments about how 'unrealistic' it is for teenagers to not have sex despite Isaac being a whole teenage aroace and how some people just didn't have sex in their teens... like aspecs. People are annoyed the show keeps giving Isaac aromantic and asexual storylines because it's 'not as important' and they 'don't care' as if he's not a main cast member and again, the creator is aroace! If you look at the promo pictures of the show, it has the main three pairings, Nick and Charlie, Tao and Elle and Tara and Darcy and no Isaac. Despite the fact it's supposed to be 'for' us and made by one of us, it's not. And a lot of non aspec queer fans watching the show don't see it for us despite being made by one of us either. And that's a real shame.

I'm fully aware Oseman knows about writing aroace characters from the book Loveless, which has an aroace MC. But I think Netflix choosing to adapt Heartstopper over Loveless was intentional. I think Netflix creating Isaac instead of Aled, a demi gay non-binary character from the og comic, was intentional. I think all the decisions Netlix made with Isaac and Tori are intentional, the same way bringing Yasmin Benoit to the Sex Education writers room to cut half of O's storylines was intentional. Netflix has fumbled the bag with asexual and aromantic representation several times now (Cash Piggot and Todd notwithstanding) so at this point, I'm not surprised anymore. Again, I'm happy for anyone who really likes Heartstopper, but I've finally accepted that it's not for me. And that's okay. When someone makes the predominantly aspec, slightly more grown, queer show with fully fleshed out arcs for its's asexual and/or aromantic characters or hits up Lovie Simone for the scrapped Selah and the Spades TV show, I know where I'll be.

We deserved our moments too. We deserve our Heartstopper.

[kgravelle1033]

Okay I'm just gonna write one tiiiiiiny thing about this film and then I swear I'm done. (It's not tiny, that's why there's a cut.)

I'm going to start out by saying that obviously I do not blame anyone on production for settling on a film. I'm sure there was a push for season four and there just wasn't the funding or interest from netflix and so they had to compromise. The fact that Joe and Kit are Executive Producers tells me that this last push is a passion project more than a commissioned piece of media by the cuntarse corporate fuckheads at Netflix who profited from three seasons of this show.

So I'm not mad at any of the creators for doing the best they can to bring this to a close.

But I am disappointed. Because at the end of the day, I'm watching a show for the side characters and a Nick and Charlie film is gonna be about...Nick and Charlie. Looking back at all the side stories they started: Imogen and Sahar, Darcy and her mum, Tara and her dancing, Isaac and his identity, Tao and Elle, Tao and his dad issues, Elle and her art. And that's jus the main cast. We haven't even gotten to my main heartache here.

But yeah, there is no way they are wrapping all that up in two hours.

Because on top of just the Nick and Charlie romance storyline you've got: Charlie and his ED, nick and his identity crisis, Charlie campaigning for head boy, Nick trying to get into uni, Charlie getting a job, Nick working through his own dad issues. I'd be surprised if all of this is featured in the film.

And of course, we have Sprolden. I actually have a blog in my drafts talking about how I didn't think I was going to get what I needed from Tori's coming out story in season 4 because there just wasn't time. If you look at how much time was spent on Isaac over three seasons, it's like 11 minutes. Darcy? About four minutes. It's not enough time to create a strong foundation between Tori and Michael and then put that foundation to the test with a realisation and coming out scene.

I really wish they would've just fully thrown Solitaire canon in the bin and had Tori and Michael meet in season two. Give us Sprolden sprinkles for two seasons and do the Ferris wheel scene as originally written. THEN we could've gotten a deeper insight into their relationship in the film.

But alas, that isn't what happened, so I sort of hope they don't even bother. If she just randomly walks into a room wearing a fucking ace t-shirt or something I'm going to scream. If there's a five minute scene of Michael trying to have sex with her and she says "I love you but I'm asexual" I'm going to fucking scream.

Okay. Breathe. Moving on.

It is not anyone's (except probably netflix's) fault that we are getting this film. And the people who watch HS solely for Nick and Charlie will probably love it. But I really enjoyed how many storylines were presented and obviously I have been in love with Sprolden for ten years and thought I was going to see...something in season 4 that would at least be satisfying for my inner child, if not my fully formed adult.

But that isn't happening, so I will just keep cranking out fanfiction for 7 people and I'll watch this shit on someone else's netflix account once I'm done.

[rowanquinn19]

20 ships/relationships that heal my bisexual heart 🩷💜💙

Buddie (9-1-1)

there is literally no heterosexual explanation for this scene. manifesting buddie canon in season 8 🙏

Bathena (9-1-1)

LITERALLY. COUPLE. GOALS.

Madney (9-1-1)

i'm so glad they finally got married, after everything they've been through <3

Henren (9-1-1)

final 9-1-1 ship on the list... i love these two and this show is literally the best! but i am begging you tim minear give them a break!!!

Peraltiago (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

this is one of my favourite moments in the entire show. i love these two so much!

Holt and Kevin (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

i'm so glad they got back together also, i have to include a cheddar gif:

Villaneve (Killing Eve)

my friend got me into this show after season 2 aired and i'm so glad he did because i absolutely adore these two!

Miranda and Gary (Miranda)

this is weirdly my most conflicted ship on this list but that's only because i love miranda hart and can't stand tom ellis, but this is still a lovely relationship (despite the ups and downs)

Rose and the Tenth Doctor (Doctor Who)

idc their relationship was just so fun to watch. they have just a great dynamic, whether it's platonic or romantic, although i think we know which is the popular option as bad wolf is literally scattered across the entirety of time and space...

Rogue & the Fifteenth Doctor (Doctor Who)

FIFTEEN FIND HIM!!!!!

Captain Jack Harkness & Ianto Jones (Torchwood)

"love the coat"

Gwen Cooper & Rhys Williams (Torchwood)

i just had to include these two!

Toshiko Sato & Owen Harper (Torchwood)

bear with me while i cry over these two once again... 😭

i'd love to see torchwood come back with all the main characters (yes i know they're both dead but crazier things have happened in the doctor who universe, like surely some wibbly wobbly timely wimely stuff can bring them and ianto back lol)

Nick & Charlie (Heartstopper)

this list would be incomplete without nick and charlie... i love them

Elle & Tao (Heartstopper)

i can't lie... i think this is the relationship i'm most invested in when it comes to heartstopper, i love these two so much

Tara & Darcy (Heartstopper)

these two are soulmates... i'm praying they get a happy ending

Mr Farouk x Mr Ajayi (Heartstopper)

final heartstopper ship on the list... we need more of them in season 4 because they are literally so cute. again i think i'm more invested in these two atm than nick and charlie...

Wilmon (Young Royals)

I AM SO HAPPY FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!! wilmon endgame THANK GOD!

Darren & Ca$h (Heartbreak High)

generally one of the most authentic relationships i've seen in a tv show. i absolutely adore their dynamic and can't wait to see their love for each other continue to grow

Henry & Alex (Red, White & Royal Blue)

i'm just waiting patiently for the second film... please universe

[spring-siblings]

Better Than Okay - a Heartstopper fanfic

Summary: When Nick and Charlie bring their new baby home, Charlie struggles with intrusive thoughts under the stress of being a new parent. A continuation of my oneshot "I Get To Do It With You", but can be read as a standalone. Words: 6k Rating: G

Charlie’s phone had been vibrating nonstop the entire drive home, and it was really starting to irritate him.  He expected to get a lot of messages from friends and family today, but this was getting ridiculous.  He finally pulled into the driveway and picked up his phone to see what all the fuss was about.

He should have guessed that the Paris Squad group chat was blowing up.  And he should have guessed that the culprit behind the chaos was his husband, Nick.

Nick: Say hi to the newest member of the Paris Squad: Elizabeth Nelson-Spring!

Attached was a picture that Nick must have taken about twenty minutes ago, of their baby asleep in her car seat.  

Charlie looked in the rearview mirror.  Nick was in the backseat, still staring at her, completely oblivious to the notifications from his phone in his hand.  Charlie couldn’t help smiling.

His phone buzzed again, so Charlie decided to catch up on the barrage of replies.

Tara: Hi baby! ♥️

Darcy: HIIIIIIIIII!!!! SHE’S SO CUUUTE!!

Isaac: Aww! 🥰

Sahar: congrats you guys!

Elle: hi lizzie! can’t wait to meet her!

Tao: so happy for you!

Imogen: OMG NICHOLAS!! 😍😍😍💕💖🥰💗💞💓

Their fawning was rewarded with another picture from Nick, nearly identical to the first one, which was met with another round of fawning and keysmashes and heart emojis.  And then Charlie counted as he scrolled through not one, not two, but eight more baby pictures that Nick had sent.

Tara: Is anyone else getting ten of the same picture, or is my phone glitching?

Elle: they’re all different pics

Isaac: They’re literally identical

Darcy: corporate needs you to find the differences between this picture and this picture. and this picture. and this picture. and

Tao: nick cool it with the baby pics. when we said we wanted pictures we didn’t mean an entire stop motion film.

Imogen: c’mon guys he’s just excited!

Sahar: yeah he’s taking his duty as annoying new parent very seriously

Then Nick had sent another picture which was indistinguishable from the last ten.

The most recent message had come in a minute ago.

Tao: charlie take away his phone

Charlie: i’ve literally just pulled into the driveway, so the spam should stop for like 5 mins at least

Charlie looked back in the rearview mirror.  “Nick?”

“Eyes on the road, Charlie,” Nick said softly without looking up.

Charlie turned around in his seat and put a hand on Nick’s knee.  “We’re home.”

Nick finally looked up like he just remembered that the rest of the world existed.  “Oh.  I didn’t realize.”

“Did you look up once the whole way home?”

“...No.”

Charlie chuckled.  “I take it you also didn’t realize that you’re slightly annoying our friends with all the pictures?”

“What?”

Then both their phones buzzed.

“Is that Tao?” Charlie asked without looking at his.

Nick looked at the notification.  “He says, ‘thank you!’” he defended.

“Read the messages before that, babe.”

Nick did.  “Oh.”

Charlie squeezed Nick’s knee.  “Take as many pictures as you want.  But maybe be selective about which ones you send to the group chat.”

“I was!  I only sent the best ones.”

Charlie grinned affectionately.  “Oh my God.  This is gonna be even worse than when we first got Daisy, isn’t it?”

“Well, can you blame me?  I mean, look at her!”

Charlie leaned farther to see behind his seat.  Lizzie was still asleep, looking so tiny and perfect that Charlie’s heart swelled.  He didn’t think he’d ever get over this feeling.  He didn’t think he wanted to.  “No,” he answered Nick softly.  “I can’t blame you at all.”

For what must have been the dozenth time that day, Charlie was struck by the overwhelming feeling that this was real.  She was real, and she was here, and she was theirs.  He and Nick had a daughter!

After a moment, Charlie finally tore his eyes away from their baby and looked at Nick.  He was staring at her again with the most in-love look on his face that Charlie had ever seen, the same look that had been there since Nick first laid eyes on her.

Charlie smiled, soaking it in for a moment longer before asking, “Are you ready to bring her home?”

Nick looked up at Charlie with a besotted grin.  “Yeah.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first day home with their new baby went by so fast, as every experienced parent had told them it would.  

The introduction with their dog, Daisy, had gone well.  Daisy loved kids, and she reacted to the baby with equal measures of curiosity and gentleness that assured Nick and Charlie that the two would soon become best friends.

Shortly thereafter, Daisy had decided to celebrate by excitedly squeaking her loudest toy, which startled Lizzie awake, resulting in only moderate chaos and crying.  Charlie had quickly ushered Daisy outside with her toy, while Nick tried to get Lizzie to settle down before realizing that she would not be going back to sleep soon.

Since Lizzie had awoken, it was a constant blur of feeding and burping and changing and crying and wondering how such a small person could create so many messes, before she finally fell asleep again.  

That lasted approximately two minutes before the doorbell rang, Daisy barked, and Lizzie cried.  

Charlie thought it was some cruel irony that now he was facing the consequences of having the forethought to have dinner delivered.  One less thing to worry about, Charlie had naively thought.  

By the time he and Nick actually got around to eating their dinner, it had gone cold.  Thankfully, the inconvenience didn’t seem to bother Nick in the slightest; although, Charlie didn’t think that much could bother Nick today, seeing as he was on cloud nine.  Before they had even finished their meal, they were laughing about it.

Nick always had a calm, steady presence, and Charlie had never been more grateful for it.  Over the course of the day, whenever he started to feel overwhelmed, Charlie looked at Nick and saw him entirely in his element.  Charlie didn’t think it was possible for someone to look so enthusiastic while changing a diaper or with a baby screaming into their ear, but somehow Nick managed it.  Seeing Nick’s joy renewed Charlie’s confidence, and filled him with a love that didn’t have a limit, and reminded him that they would be okay.

As he tidied the kitchen after dinner, Charlie thought for about the millionth time that there was no one better to undergo the journey of parenthood with than Nick.

Then Charlie was jolted out of his thoughts by the sound of Nick’s voice coming from the living room.

“Char,” Nick stage-whispered from where he lay on the couch with Lizzie asleep on his chest.

Charlie turned around and made his way over to them.  “What?” he whispered back.

“I really need to pee!”

Charlie smiled.  “So get up.”

“Can’t.  I’m stuck.”  Nick glanced at the sleeping baby.  “I don’t want to wake her.”

Charlie stifled a laugh.  “All right, come on,” he said, extending his hands as he bent over them.

Together, they tried to shift Lizzie as carefully as possible without jostling her.  For a few seconds they seemed to be succeeding, but as soon as she was separated from the warmth of Nick’s chest, she started whimpering.

Nick and Charlie both froze and grimaced at the same time.  So much for trying not to wake her.  

Lizzie’s whimpering quickly escalated into a loud wail, so Nick decided he better make this quick and handed her off to Charlie.  As he stood up, Nick tried to slide his forefinger out of Lizzie’s tiny fist, but she would not budge.

“Oh, now I’m really stuck,” Nick said, trying to gently pry her fingers loose with his other hand, but she had him in a vice grip.

Charlie laughed.  “Come on, use those strong rugby arms.”

“I’m trying!” Nick half-laughed, half-whined.  “She’s really strong!”

Charlie shook his head in amusement.  Leave it to his big, golden retriever husband to be thwarted by a newborn.

After a couple more attempts, Nick freed himself.  “I’m sorry, sweetie!” he apologized to Lizzie, who was still screaming.  “I’ll be right back!”  He kissed the top of her head before jogging to the bathroom.

Lizzie didn’t stop crying as Charlie settled her into the crook of his elbow.

Charlie saw Daisy staring up at him from her bed with a pleading look, as if to say, Are you going to fix that?  I’m trying to sleep.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Charlie told her.  “You cried on your first night home, too.”

As Charlie recalled, Daisy’s whining had lasted no more than twenty minutes before Nick couldn’t take it anymore and slept on the floor with her.  Daisy had slept through the rest of the night without a peep.  Charlie had no hope that this time would be so easy.

Daisy let out a long sigh that Charlie felt in his soul.

“Shh, it’s okay, Lizzie,” Charlie cooed, trying to calm her down.  He instinctively started swaying side to side.  

Lizzie let out another wail, her tiny face all scrunched up and cartoonishly red, which in another context might have looked funny, but now it only made Charlie feel helpless and out of his depth.  He was suddenly very aware that this was the first time he was alone with her, and that her care rested entirely on him.

It was so much easier to be confident when Nick was doing this with him.  He knew that if he ever didn’t know what to do that Nick would have his back.  Lizzie already trusted him.  Of course she did—Nick was already so good at this.

Charlie knew there would be times when he would have to do this on his own, even if just for a few minutes.  That was when the self doubt crept in.  Could he do this on his own?  He could.  He knew he could.  But knowing what he was capable of and feeling confident about what he was capable of were two very different things.

Lizzie kept crying, and Charlie didn’t know what else to do besides murmur, “Shh,” and keep rocking her.  She had eaten recently, so she shouldn’t be hungry; she didn’t need a diaper change.  Maybe she was just tired.  Maybe she was overwhelmed by all this newness.  Maybe she was upset that some inept stranger was holding her.

As Charlie looked down at her tiny scrunched-up screaming red face, he was, for the infinite time, consumed by the feeling that he loved her with his entire being.  He would die for her.  But they were still just getting to know each other.  There was still so much he had to learn about her.  He didn’t know what she liked, what she disliked, what comforted her.  Well, Nick comforted her, clearly—something they had in common.

And then Charlie thought if someone had come and picked him up when he had been asleep on Nick, he’d be pretty upset, too.

“I know,” Charlie told her softly, “he’s so warm that you just want to cuddle with him forever, don’t you?”

Lizzie’s crying got quieter.

“Ah, so you agree?”  Charlie smiled.

Lizzie’s eyes grew wide as they slowly focused on Charlie’s face, like she was really concentrating on his words.

“You like it when I talk to you?” Charlie asked, pleased that he had apparently gotten something right. 

Lizzie was totally silent, like she was waiting for him to continue.

“Okay.  I can do that.”

So he just rambled off the first things to pop into his head while Lizzie stared at him.  “Hi.  I’m Charlie.  I’m your dad.  The warm, cuddly one is Nick.  He’s your dad, too.  Not like, Dad Number Two.  But, between you and me, if there is a ranking, he’s definitely Dad Number One.”

Lizzie blinked slowly.  

Charlie spoke even softer.  “You’re so lucky to have him as a dad.  You’re gonna love him.  I think maybe you already do.”

Charlie felt the familiar sensation of Nick’s arms wrapping around him from behind, and a second later he felt Nick’s chin rest on his shoulder.  Nick started swaying along with him, and Charlie touched his head to Nick’s.

“Hi,” Charlie greeted softly.

“Hi,” Nick returned, a smile in his voice.  “I thought we agreed we were both tied.”

“Hmm?”

“For who was gonna be the best dad.”

Charlie grinned, recalling the conversation he and Nick had had months ago.  Charlie had assured Nick that he would be the best dad, which Nick would only accept if they shared the accolade.  “You heard that?” Charlie asked.

“Mhm.”

They continued swaying together for a few more turns, staring at their baby as her eyes closed.

“I think she loves you,” Nick murmured.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”  Nick exhaled slightly as he smiled wider.  “My God, she is so cute.”  He leaned back, releasing Charlie.

Out of the corner of his eye, Charlie saw Nick angling his phone.

“I knew that was coming.”

“What?  I can’t witness you two being so adorable and not document it.”

Charlie rolled his eyes affectionately as Nick tapped away.  Charlie looked back to Lizzie, who appeared to be totally asleep.

A full photoshoot later, Nick finally tucked his phone away and said, “Let’s put her to bed.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite Charlie’s best efforts, Lizzie woke up again just as he lay her down in her crib.  She wasn’t wailing, but let out a sustained, unsettled whine.  Charlie considered rocking her again, but didn’t want to repeat the whole process if she was only going to cry again the second he set her down.  He looked to Nick.

Nick pursed his lips.  “Let me try something.”  He leaned over the crib and started humming to her.  After a few seconds Lizzie got quieter.  Nick smiled at her without interrupting his humming.

It took Charlie a minute to place the melody, but when he recognized a slowed version of Fleetwood Mac’s “Everywhere”, he smiled.  Not exactly a traditional lullaby, but it apparently worked; Lizzie’s eyes were drooping, so Charlie didn’t dare say a word.  

Nick quieted his humming as the song ended.  Lizzie had her eyes closed, and he waited for a few silent seconds to see if she would stir.  She didn’t, and Nick smiled triumphantly at Charlie.

Charlie smiled back, and silently clapped.

They watched their baby, their arms wrapped around each other, basking for a moment in all the love and gratitude and awe of the day.

After a few minutes, they tiptoed out of Lizzie’s room and quietly shut the door.

“You’re really good at this,” Charlie told Nick.  “I mean, I knew you would be.  But seeing you in action is like…wow.”

Nick smiled.  “You’re really good at this, too.  You were rocking her like a pro.”

“I think it was your lovely voice that finally did the trick.”

“My very boring voice, you mean.”

“Yes, I’m sure that’s what did it,” Charlie smirked.

Nick grinned and then furrowed his brows thoughtfully.  “She’s very in tune with sounds, isn’t she?  I wonder if she’ll be a musician like you.”

“With that strong grip she’s got, she might be a star rugby player like you.”

“Oh God, that’s a scary thought,” Nick shuttered.  “I don’t want to think about anyone trying to tackle her—she’s so little.  She’s, like, the size of a rugby ball.”

“She won’t be forever.”

“I know.”  Nick sunk his head into Charlie’s shoulder.

Charlie wrapped his arms around Nick, and Nick returned the embrace.  They held each other for a moment, grounding one another after the whirlwind of a day.

Charlie let out a long sigh.  “I love you,” he murmured into Nick’s neck.

“I love you,” Nick returned.

They both leaned back and then found each other’s lips, sharing a tender kiss.  They broke apart and gazed at each other.

“We haven’t kissed all day,” Nick realized, before leaning in for another.

Charlie kissed him back.  “What a day it’s been.”

“We waited so long for today, and now it’s nearly over.”

“With many more to come,” Charlie reminded him.

Nick beamed and pressed his forehead to Charlie’s.

After an immeasurable moment, Nick sighed.  “I need a shower,” he said, leaning back.  “I’m sure I look like an absolute mess.”

“You’ve never looked better,” Charlie told him earnestly.

“What, looking all tired and frazzled, with spit-up on my shoulder?”

Charlie smiled.  “Yes.  And also completely in love.”

Nick smiled back.  “Yeah.”

“Go shower,” Charlie said, nudging Nick toward the bathroom.  “I need to finish tidying the kitchen.  I’ll come to bed in a bit.”

“M’kay,” Nick murmured, staring at Charlie a second longer before walking off.

Charlie made his way to the kitchen, picking up the baby monitor from a side table in the living room.  He turned it on, and made sure the volume was up, before setting it on the kitchen counter next to the sink.  

Through the speaker came the faint sound of Lizzie’s breathing.  Charlie smiled.  God, even her snoring was cute.

He set to work on the dishes which were left from lunch.

When the dishes were finished, he went over the rest of the kitchen, wiping the counters and putting away all the miscellany that had been left over the course of the busy day. 

As he threw the last paper towel away, Charlie realized it was disconcertingly quiet.  He couldn’t hear Lizzie’s delicate breathing anymore.  He looked at the baby monitor, waiting to hear it again, but there was only several slow seconds of silence.  No need to panic.  She had probably just turned her head.

She was fine.  She was probably fine.

Charlie had gotten pretty good at managing his intrusive thoughts, and in recent years they had become less frequent and less intense than ever.  But stress tended to trigger them.  Like, say, a major permanent life change that was sure to alter every aspect of his life.  

He knew that being stressed about being a new parent was normal.  And it was a good kind of stress, and one that he had asked for.  He also knew that it might negatively affect his mental health.  Becoming a parent necessarily entailed giving up a lot of control in his life, and his OCD didn’t like that.  He had been prepared for that.  But knowing why his brain did something didn’t stop his brain from doing that thing.  

Lizzie had still not resumed her snoring and the little voice in Charlie’s mind saying, What if she stopped breathing? was getting louder.

What if she stopped breathing?  What if she’s turning blue?  What if she’s suffocating in her crib right now while I’m just standing here?  What if she’s—

He had to check on her.  He would be a bad parent if he didn’t.

He sprinted to the hallway outside her room.  He opened the door as quietly as possible and tiptoed across the room to the crib.

She was fine.  She was breathing evenly, sound asleep.

Charlie let out a long breath, then sank to the floor so he was sitting in front of the crib.  He leaned forward until his forehead was touching the bars.  He watched her breathing, her chest rising and falling, her tiny nostrils flaring just slightly.  He breathed along with her to slow his down.

Inhale.  Exhale.  Inhale.  Exhale.

It wasn’t working.  His brain would not shut up.  He instantly recalled countless articles and blog posts and forums he had read in the past several months relaying all kinds of horror stories.  Children afflicted by illnesses, accidents, injuries, their poor parents trying everything, and ultimately being powerless to stop it.  This wasn’t just his brain inventing catastrophes, these were things that actually happened.  Things that could happen to her.

He took another deep breath, trying to force a connection between what his eyes were seeing and what his brain was telling him.  Lizzie was fine.  She was here, alive and breathing, right in front of him.  She was fine.

Charlie flinched when he heard the door creak open.  

“Charlie?”

He didn’t look away from her.

He heard Nick tread across the floor, then pause for a moment before whispering, “What are you doing?”

Charlie let out another breath.  “Watching her breathing.”

“Why?”

“I couldn’t hear her on the baby monitor, so I had to check that she was okay.”

Nick took a step forward.  “She is.”

Charlie still had not looked away from her, so Nick sat on the floor facing him.  “Charlie, if you can’t hear her, that just means she’s asleep.”

“I know.  Had to check anyway.”

Nick took Charlie’s hand and squeezed it.  “What are you thinking about?”

Charlie took a breath before turning his head toward Nick.  “I love her so much.  And I don’t want anything bad to ever happen to her.  But I know I can’t totally control that.  And that’s scary.  And I keep having intrusive thoughts about all the horrible things that could happen to her.  And I’m scared that if something bad does happen that I won’t be able to do anything about it, or I won’t know what to do, or I won’t be able to do enough.”

Nick nodded.  “Okay.  What’s the worst that can happen?”

It was a strategy that Charlie sometimes used for putting his intrusive thoughts into perspective.  Imagine the worst case scenario (which he was usually already doing when he started the exercise), then the best case scenario, then the most likely scenario.  It helped to contextualize his catastrophizing, and ground him into reality, which usually fell between either extreme.

“The worst thing that can happen,” Charlie began, “is that Lizzie gets some horrible disease that has no cure.  And she gradually gets sicker and weaker and there’s nothing anyone can do to help her, so I just have to sit there and watch her die a slow and painful death.  And I spiral into profound grief that I never recover from.  And we grow to resent each other over it, and we fight all the time until we finally get divorced.  And I stay miserable my whole life until I die sad and alone.”

There was a second of heavy silence before Nick exhaled.  “Oof.  Okay.  Now the best thing.”

“Nothing really bad ever happens to her.  Lizzie has a full, happy life, where she gets everything she wants.  And we never understand what other parents are going on about, because raising her never seems that hard.  And we all live happily ever after.  And Daisy breaks the world record for longest living dog ever.” 

Nick smiled.  “And the most likely thing.”

Charlie took a deep breath as he gathered his thoughts.  “Sometimes she gets sick.  Sometimes she gets hurt.  Sometimes bad things happen and it’s hard, but we help each other through them and they don’t last forever.  And good things happen, too.  We try to savor the good things.  And we end up okay.”

“Okay,” Nick said softly.  “I like okay.”

Charlie exhaled.  “Me, too.”

Nick reached out and wrapped his arms around Charlie, holding him tight.  Charlie returned the hug, burying his face in Nick’s shoulder, breathing him in.

“We’re gonna be okay, Char,” Nick assured, and he felt Charlie nod.

After a moment, Nick said, “We should try to get some sleep while we can.”

“Mhm,” Charlie said, but stayed put.

Nick pulled back.  “Are you gonna come to bed?”

“I’d…rather stay here.”

“Okay.”  Nick squeezed Charlie’s hand before letting go.  He stood up and quietly left the room.

Charlie continued to watch Lizzie breathing.

A couple minutes later, he heard the door creak.  Daisy came up to him, tail wagging, and licked his face.  Then he saw Nick carrying the pillows and duvet from their bed along with another thick blanket.  He dropped everything to the floor before he began spreading the blanket out in front of the crib.  He put the duvet on top of it and then arranged the pillows where the head of their bed would be, near where Charlie was sitting.

Nick folded over the duvet and slid underneath, laying on his usual side, closest to the crib.  He looked up at Charlie and patted the spot next to him.  “Come on.”

Daisy went to lay down near Nick’s feet.  

Charlie smiled fondly.  “You’re really gonna sleep on the floor.”  It wasn’t a question—he knew the answer.

“I’m gonna sleep wherever you are.”

Charlie crawled under the duvet beside Nick, settling into his side.  Nick wrapped his arms around him as Charlie nestled his head into Nick’s shoulder.

“Do try to get some sleep, okay?” Nick murmured.  

“I’ll try.”

Then Nick suddenly smiled at Charlie with that adoring look of his.

“What?” Charlie whispered.

“You’re a dad,” Nick whispered back, beaming.  

Charlie grinned.  “You’re a dad.”

“We’re dads.”

Then they had to stifle their elated giggles so they wouldn’t wake their daughter.

For a moment, Charlie felt simultaneously like a real full-blown adult who was responsible and capable, and also like that giddy fourteen-year-old laughing with the boy who felt like everything to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nick groaned as he rolled over, his back aching.  Sleeping on the floor had been a mistake.  He conceded that he was officially too old for this.  

The sunlight shining brightly on his eyelids indicated that it was already well into the morning.  Then he remembered that he wasn’t meant to sleep on the floor all night.  Someone was supposed to have woken him up.  

His eyes shot open and he saw that the spot next to him was Charlie-less.  He groaned again as he sat up, stretched his stiff muscles, and looked around the room bleary-eyed.  “Charlie?”

Then Nick found him, and the sight brought tears to his eyes and took his breath away.

Charlie was asleep in the recliner next to the crib, with Lizzie asleep on his chest.  They both had the exact same open-mouthed expression on their faces.

Nick recalled all the countless times he had looked over at Charlie sleeping and thought that that would be the last thing he’d want to see before he died.

He felt something similar now, only so intense that it swelled in his chest and got caught in his throat.  He blinked, and tears spilled over, blurring his vision.  He wiped his eyes so he could see clearly.  

This was the most adorable sight in the history of the universe.  More adorable than Charlie sleeping on his own, more adorable than Daisy as a puppy—which was really saying something.  Nick sat and stared for a moment before scrambling for his phone.  This had to be preserved for posterity.

Nick checked his pockets and then the blankets around him before remembering that he had left his phone to charge on his nightstand.  He clumsily got to his feet and then tiptoed out of the room, mentally chanting, please don’t move, please don’t move, please don’t move, before he could get his camera ready.  

He retrieved his phone and returned to Lizzie’s room in seconds.  Both Charlie and Lizzie remained exactly as they were, and Nick began taking dozens of photos.  

To his dismay, no matter the angle or the lighting, none of the photos seemed to do justice to the real thing.  Nick resigned himself to the fact that the technology simply didn’t exist that could capture such potent adorableness in its full glory.  

He selected the best photos and attached them to a text.  

Nick: THIS IS LITERALLY THE CUTEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!  I HAVE LITERAL TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE RIGHT NOW!  I CANNOT COPE!  I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH!!!!

Sarah replied within minutes.

Mum: Aww, that’s wonderful, darling!  I’m so excited to meet her later.  All my love and hugs 💗💗💗

Nick smiled at his phone before he resumed staring at them, his heart full.  

He heard the door open, and then felt Daisy nudge his hand with her nose.  He patted her on the head.  Apparently, she was the only one sensible enough to return to her bed over the course of the night.  

“I know,” he whispered to her.  “I haven’t forgotten about you.  Let’s go.”

Nick ushered Daisy out of Lizzie’s room and Daisy ran for the back door.  Nick took one final look at Charlie and Lizzie cuddled up together before he closed the bedroom door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Charlie awoke suddenly to the sensation of something moving against him.  His brain worked slower than usual as he got his bearings.  Lizzie was still asleep, which seemed odd.  It took him a second to realize that it was his phone vibrating persistently which had woken him up this time.  He carefully fished it out of his pocket before it could wake Lizzie.

The Paris Squad group chat was back at it, and once again, Nick was the instigator.  This time, he had sent one single photo of Charlie and Lizzie asleep.

Imogen: 🥺🥺🥺

Tao: !!!!

Darcy: AJSXJSBDKDNSJDN

Elle: the unholy shriek that came out of my mouth

Sahar: omg they’re both drooling

Tara: Please tell me you have more 😍

Nick: Oh so now you want more baby pictures?

Darcy: we want more charlie-drooling pictures

Isaac: Seconded. If you have more Drooly Charlie pics please send them our way

Tao: thirded

Charlie: pls dont

Darcy: look who woke up from his nap!

Then Nick sent another picture, a close up of their faces, which highlighted the stream of drool down Charlie’s chin glistening in the light.

Elle: that’s it I’m gonna paint this

Charlie: elle no

Nick: Elle yes

Tao: ELLE YES

Charlie heard a faint chuckle coming from somewhere in the house.  A moment later, the door opened and Nick stepped into the room, carrying a mug in one hand and a bottle in the other.

“Hi,” Nick greeted softly.

“Hi,” Charlie returned.  His voice was still thick with sleep.

Nick set the mug and bottle on a side table next to the chair.  “I made you tea.”

“Mm,” Charlie sighed groggily.  “Thank you.”

Nick knelt down in front of the recliner, just beaming for a moment before he looked at Charlie seriously.  “Did you really get up with her all night?” he chided.

“...Yeah.”

“Charlie—”

“Have you been crying?” Charlie asked when he noticed that Nick’s eyes looked red and puffy.

“A bit.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Absolutely nothing.”

“Then why were you crying?”  

A big, dopey grin spread across Nick’s face.  “I just love you both so much.”

Charlie grinned back, but couldn’t help teasing him.  “I’m the one who should be delirious; I hardly slept last night.”

Nick sighed.  “I may have slept longer, but I reckon you were a bit more comfortable than I was.”

“Sorry, I should have woken you.”

“Yes, you should have.  We were supposed to take turns getting up with her.”

“I know, but…I couldn’t really sleep anyway.”

Nick furrowed his brow.  “How are you feeling?”

Charlie exhaled.  “Tired, obviously.  But better.  It helped to do something.”  

Charlie looked down at Lizzie sleeping.  “I think a part of me is always gonna worry about her.  And I think I just need to learn how to cope with worrying without letting it spiral.”

Charlie felt Nick squeeze his arm and looked at him.  “I sense a Nick Pep Talk coming.”

Nick smiled.  “I mean…you are amazing and capable and a wonderful dad.  Obviously.”  Nick’s expression turned serious.  “I don’t really have any words of wisdom that will fix anything, though.  I think all you can do is take it moment by moment and do what you think is right.”

Charlie remembered telling Nick the exact same thing when he had been doubting himself.  “Are you giving my own advice back to me?”

“It’s good advice.”  Nick grinned.  “You really know what you’re talking about about.”

Charlie rolled his eyes, endeared.  “It’s not that I feel incompetent.  Like, I know I can do this, I know I’m capable.  But it doesn’t help my confidence when I anticipate everything that could go wrong.”

Nick sighed.  “Yeah.  I know what you mean.”

“Do you feel that way, too?”

“Part of me still can’t believe that people trust me to keep a tiny human alive.  Who allowed that?”

“Literally an entire team of professionals whose job it is to ensure children’s welfare.”

“Right.”

Charlie grinned.  “People trust you with a classroom of Year Twos.  Surely that’s more difficult.”

“That is completely different.”

“Of course,” Charlie nodded, sarcastic.  “Being a teacher has no real consequences.  If you’re bad at your job, then worst case scenario, a bunch of seven-year-olds don’t learn subtraction, but then that’s someone else’s problem, isn’t it?”

“Charlie.”

“Do I have to tell you again that you’ll be a great dad?” Charlie asked, returning to seriousness and looking squarely at Nick.  “Because I will.  You are a great dad, Nick.  You got Lizzie to sleep last night without a fuss.”

“So did you.”

“Yeah, and then I woke her up.”

“She’s asleep now, isn’t sh—?”  Nick hadn’t even finished his sentence when he saw Lizzie’s eyelids fluttering.  “Hiiiii!” he said, drawing out the syllable in a high voice.

“Is she waking up?”

“She is.  Good morning, sweetheart!”  Nick reached forward and gently patted her back.

Lizzie blinked slowly and nuzzled into Charlie’s chest.

“I know, he’s really cuddly isn’t he?” Nick said softly.  “That’s my favorite spot to sleep, too.”  He exchanged a glance with Charlie before looking back at Lizzie, beaming.  “Oh my God, Charlie, did you see that?”

“What?” 

“She just smiled!”

“No, I can’t see from this angle.”

Without looking away from her, Nick took out his phone and started recording.  

“Can you do that again, darling?” Nick cooed, smiling widely at her.  “Oh…”  He raised his eyebrows.  “Aww!  That’s it!”

“She did it again?” Charlie asked.

“She did it!”  Nick started welling up and wiped under his eyes.  “Here I go again.”

“You’re gonna make me cry!  Let me see.”

Nick turned his phone toward Charlie so he could see the video.

Charlie watched for a moment, and then pursed his lips, looking to Nick hesitantly.  “I’m…not sure that counts.”

Nick flipped his phone back around to look at the video.  “What do you mean?”

“I think her mouth just twitched.”

“You just don’t want it to count because you didn’t see it firsthand.”

“No, I think you’re seeing what you want to see.”

Nick looked at Charlie with the closest expression to heart eyes that a human could physically make.  “Maybe so.”  Then he raised his phone, focused the lens, and took a picture.

“More pictures?” Charlie said.

“You two look so cozy together.”

“Don’t you have enough?”

“Never.  And I hardly have any with her eyes open.”

“Are there about a million identical pictures of us on your phone right now?”

“Maybe only like…half a million.”

“Gathering future blackmail material I see.”

“It is my duty as a parent to take as many adorable and embarrassing baby pictures as possible.”

“Well, you are definitely succeeding at that.”

Nick and Charlie quit their banter when Lizzie started whining.  

Nick patted her back again.  “Are we being too loud?”

“She’s probably hungry,” Charlie suggested.  He repositioned Lizzie on her back, and Nick handed him the bottle.  Charlie offered it to Lizzie and she began eagerly guzzling the formula.

Nick smiled at Charlie.  “You know what you’re doing.”

Charlie smiled back and then went back to looking at Lizzie.

“Do you think we’ll ever get tired of staring at her?” Nick asked after a moment. 

“No,” Charlie replied without breaking his gaze.

“Me, neither,” Nick agreed.  “You know,” he murmured, “I think we’re gonna do a bit better than okay.”

“You do?”

“I really do.  It won’t always be easy.  Sometimes it’ll be really hard.  But,” Nick looked back to Charlie, “anything I get to do with you is better than okay.”

Charlie looked up at Nick and nodded.  “Yeah.  I think so, too.”  He leaned in and kissed Nick.  

Nick returned the kiss for a moment, before pulling back and smiling at Charlie.  “I should start on our breakfast,” Nick said, rising to his feet with a groan.

“Making dad noises already?” Charlie teased.  “I thought those weren’t supposed to start until you were at least forty.”

“Oi!  I slept on the floor all night!  I have good reason to be a bit creaky.”

“That was your choice.  Deal with the consequences,” Charlie said cheekily.

“No, those are the consequences of you not waking me up.  So tonight,” Nick raised his eyebrows, “I’m getting up with her, and you are sleeping.”

“No, we can take turns.”

“You need to sleep, Charlie.”

“I will.  I’ll take a nap this afternoon so we can take turns getting up tonight.”

Nick pursed his lips.  “Oh, all right,” he relented.  Then he leaned down, gave Charlie a peck on the lips and Lizzie a kiss in the head before heading for the kitchen.

Charlie turned back to Lizzie.  “I think you’ll learn very quickly that he’s a bit of a pushover,” he whispered to her.  “Which I’m sure you’ll use to your full advantage, won’t you?  And if it’s up to me to be the strict parent, well then, I think you’ll end up getting your way all the time.  You’re gonna be so spoiled.”

Lizzie’s eyes started drooping.  Charlie brushed his finger over her tiny fist and she grabbed hold of him.  

He beamed down at her.  “I love you, too.”

Soon Lizzie finished her bottle.  As Charlie was burping her, he felt his phone buzz.  

He presumed Nick had sent another picture to the group chat, so he took out his phone to mute the notifications in anticipation of the onslaught of replies.  Instead, it was a text from Tori.

Tori: i’m doing the shopping today, so let me know if you want me to bring anything else for dinner tomorrow

Charlie: will do

Tori: how was the first night? you doing okay?

Charlie took a picture of himself and Lizzie and attached it to his message.

Charlie: yeah, we’re doing okay

[trumpkinhotboy]

Never alone

Pairing: big sister!darcy olsson x little sister!reader

Type: requested

Warnings: none really? mentions of having a strick and unsupportive parent

Word count: approx 700

Requests: open! for heartstopper, twilight wolfpack and narnia

A/n: loved writing this, thank you again for the request xx

"I knew there was a chance I'd find you here." You let out a relieved breath at the sight of your older sister sitting on a rusted swing in the old park near your home.

Darcy jolted upward at the sound of your voice. "Y/n, what are you doing here?" she asked with a fake smile plastered on her face. You could be a little oblivious sometimes, but you could not miss the trail of wet tears staining her cheeks.

It hurt your heart beyond measure to see her, even after everything that just happened, trying to put on a happy face for you. Life at home was far from easy. Your mother was incredibly strict and severe. You often thought she must be in a terrible amount of pain to be so cold and distant with her children. Your sister and you learned not to expect any favor from your mother. Even if you were only a year younger than Darcy, she always took her big sister role very seriously. She constantly tried to protect you from the bitterness of your mother. Even when she had been kicked out of her home, she was still trying to protect you.

You stared at her in silence for a second, your gaze filled with concern. "Darcy, stop."

"What?" she tried subtly wiping away the tears. "Did you want to hang out? We can go and get ice cream."

She took a step, but you grabbed her wrist firmly. "Drop the bullshit. I heard everything."

A crack in her mask. A second to falter.

"Are you okay?" you asked while softening your hold on her wrist.

The three little words had the power to destroy the front she kept putting up. Her face scrunched in a pained expression, silver tears lining her eyes.

You sighed once more before pulling her in a hug. She melted in your arms, big sobs crawling their way out of her hurt body. You allowed her to rest in your arms, to let everything go.

"I'm so sorry Dar," you whispered, squeezing her as tight as you could, hoping it would somehow put back the pieces of her heart your mom had shattered times and times again.

You guided her to sit on a bench as she calmed down. Delicately, you wiped the tears away from her cheeks.

"I'm sorry for doing this to you. I'm sorry you had to hear that."

You let out an exasperated breath. "You don't ever have to apologize about what happened back there. You don't have to protect me all the time. At least, you have to let me protect you in return. We are a team. We are the only thing we can always, always count on. I know how hard you try to be happy all the time, but I promise, no one would love you less because you showed the hard moments. I surely won't. I know Tara won't, and anyone else in the gang won't, for that matter."

Kicking pebbles with the tip of her weathered Converse she seemed so vulnerable. Darcy felt like a mistake, a burden, most of the time. Probably because of everything your mother kept telling her, and you hated her for it.

"I'm not so sure about that… Nobody likes a burden," she mumbled.

"You are not a burden. Do you find me annoying or burdensome when I have hardships?"

"Of course not!" she exclaimed with a surprised expression.

You lifted your brows with a knowing smile as realization dawned on her. "And I can confirm it's the same for you."

You nodded at the entrance of the park where Tara, Elle, Tao, Joe, Nick, and Isaac appeared, worried looks on their faces. Your sister's girlfriend let out a strangled noise when she noticed Darcy sitting on the bench with you.

"Please don't be mad, but they were very worried about you, and I think you need them."

She looked back at you with tears in her eyes and relief sketched on her face. She grabbed your hand and held tight as she waved to her friends.

"If only you could see yourself through my eyes. You would understand how fricking amazing you are. You are not and will never be alone." You finally added before you were wrapped into a big group hug.

[gigigazelleloves]

Warning: Heartstopper Rant

As much as I love Heartstopper I will say that it is hard for me to get into the fandom. I love the concept of the heartstopper but I feel afraid to comment on the execution because I know fans here can be brutal but you know what? Here is my FAIR criticism of heartstopper (the show, not so much the webtoon).

I HATE how Tara's character is written. She seems like the woman of color side kick who is just there to validate white characters (Nick and Darcy specifically). It's like she's only there to push the plot forward and I was hoping she'd become more of her own character like Isaac in season 3 but I was wrong. You know what, I wasn't the biggest fan of the panic attack/perfectionist plot (I would've personally preferred if it had taken different route) but I was happy she was getting a storyline. Turns out the storyline was just supposed to be a yes-man to the fact that Charlie (a white character) was doing better in his mental health struggle. I also feel like Alice also doesn't understand Black British culture because what black immigrant mother is letting her daughter's girlfriend stay in her bedroom for more than a month? I'll tell you, no one from that culture is doing that, and if they are, you must be a fuckin unicorn. And again that storyline was just to push Darcy's story forward plot wise.

I feel the same way about Sahar, like she's just there to push Imogen or even sometimes Nick's story forward. Like yeah, the girl of middle eastern ethnicity just found out she likes women, why are we throwing a good story to the side? I get Imogen was in season 1, but Sahar was an original character from the comic and I personally think she deserves a better story because she in general is a better character than Imogen (no offense Imogen).

Now I know people will bring up Elle and say that she gets a lot of screen time but I would like to remind everyone that Elle has a white mother and is stated to have her father not interact with his side of the family due to their transphobia. She has a completely different experience also because she is with another person of colour (who also is mixed). But that's a whole different rant.

Bottom line I feel like Sahar and Tara are there to check off boxes, not to be full fledged characters which is disappointing as they have so much potential that gets thrown out the window . I would also like to state that I can see Alice and whatever fellow writers are trying. I will also say entertainment media has gotten better for minorities. However, Heartstopper still does have room for improvement when it comes to characters of colour. I would just like to finish this rant by stating that this situation proves how much white privilege still exists in the LGBTQ community and how that just because your queer doesn't mean you are exempt from being privileged.

Edit: I was not aware that Alice went by she/they pronouns so my grammer that needs to be fixed it will be done. Just let me know down in the comment area of this post.

[confessionsofareindeer]

Not to like totally rant but like let's get this out of the way, Season 3 Heartstopper Spoilers:

They kind of ruined the show a little for me with this sad ace rep., the carnival scene takes out the depth of Tori and Micheal's relationship, it makes it look like they're just dating, it cuts out their queerness and just makes them look like a messy straight couple. They barely had any screen time, which is fair, they're just Charlie's sister and the guy that's always around her, (no one even seems to know Micheal despite them having had class with him in the comics, but whatever, Solitaire erasure it is) I wasn't expecting to see all of Solitaire played out on my laptop for me, but I wanted some sort of complexity around aceness and maybe a reference to its existence. But instead, you're telling me a group of queer teenagers needed a fish analogy to understand aromanticsm? Really? In school I only had to tell the cis boys and the girls who stared at me funny what it meant, not my friend group that is majority LGBTQ. I thought this was supposed to be a dreamscape to actually show me and my friends, not-a-water-everything-down-for-the-straights-and-alloscape, that comes with every other story, this was made by a queer person who is aro/ace so why did we end up like this, why did I bother having hope?

I really respect how the storyline made room for Darcy and Elle had trans and non binary identities and that they were expanded upon in the show, I love it really and I think that it felt like things my friends would actually talk about. We have a slight reference to Darcy having an unlabeled gender but even this feels wrapped up as they come out as non binary, I wish it was just all less clean cut, less perfectly fit so that everything works out, do their's and Tara's sexualities shift to reflect changing Lesbian identity in a more inclusive world? Do they decide to be unlabled or does the idiotic queer discourse not exist for them? Can we have people who don't particularly lean one way or the other, or who reject this modern idea that we should fit into the straight designed trap of conformity for the heads to comprehend something outside their simple world of the nuclear family? I want sexualities nuances to be explained like gender's was. Micheal talks about it, so why is there not a large discussion or plot around it? WHy does it end up a somewhat hollow scene?

Maybe my friends and I are weird and philosophical, but we'd spend lunch arguing about this sort of stuff, so I really wish they'd show it, I have the backing of the kids who loved Perks of Being a Wallflower and Catcher and the Rye (don't ask me about that one I haven't actually read it, on principle) that found Solitaire, and all the depressed outsider protaganists a little too relatable for our own good, that maybe Tori and Micheal shouldn't have even kissed in the book because people are only ever going to misinterpret it. So now looking at the show, I guess of course this happened. Tori and Micheals story meant something to me and so yeah, I'm going to be a melodramatic whiner on Tumblr about it.

(1/2)

[myheartstopperblog]

Things we have yet to see (or we might not)

VOLUME 4 (5.Love)

Charlie wants to tell Nick he loves him, especially before he goes to Menorca

Paris squad beach day

More cute Tara/Darcy and Elle/Tao moments

Sahar tells Nick she's going to Truham for sixth form

They eat and Charlie struggles, Nick is there for him

Elle talks about how she can't go to Egypt cause it's dangerous for her as a trans girl

Nick tells Charlie he might have an eating disorder

Charlie says I love you while Nick is in the shower

Nick runs after him and says it back

Tori gets a haircut

Nick goes to Menorca with his family

Jane gets angry at Charlie

David is a Dick, Charlie struggles and Julio's parents visit

Nick tells his mum about Charlie and his ED

School starts again

More Youssef and Nathan

Sahar starts school with Nick

Charlie and Nick kiss for the first time since he got back from Menorca

September 4th, Nicks birthday (Charlie gives Nick all his hoodies back and a photo album)

Nick talks to Charlie about his ED

They both go to Charlie's house and talk to his parents, he needs help

VOLUME 4 (6.Journey)

Four months later, New Years Eve (Nick POV)

Nick has another dog (a pug) called Henry

Flashback to September

Charlie goes to the doctor and gets an appointment for January

Charlie starts self harming again

Charlie goes to A&E one day because it got so bad

Charlie is an inpatient, so Nick goes to school without him

Nick starts hanging out with Christian, Otis and Sai more (and the Paris squad too, he keeps them updated about Charlie)

Nick visits Charlie sometimes at the hospital with his family, and finds Tori a bit intense

Early December, Charlie goes back home

Christmas day Charlie goes to Nicks home (This Winter) and meets the new puppy Henry

Flashback over

Nick and Charlie go to a New Years Eve party and hang out with the Paris squad (and other teens from their school are there)

The main three couples share a New Years kiss

Two months later, early March (Charlie POV)

Charlie is going to therapy and his name is Geoff

Flashback to when he went to the hospital as an inpatient for a few weeks

He has a therapist and a nutritionist there, and made a couple of friends

He has anorexia and OCD

He goes back to school after the Christmas holidays

We see Michael, Toris friend

In mid-January he has a self-harm relapse (him and Nick argued when having dinner and Nick left, but he came back and they made up, Nick stayed the night with Charlie)

*Higgs burns down (Solitaire)

Flashback over

Spring-Nelson dinner that we see in season 3

Nick can drive, and him and Charlie go out for a bit

"Mini-Comic: The Ethics of Infatuation Dynamics" will be included

VOLUME 5 (7.Together)

April 27th, Charlies birthday, he's playing drums in the schools music room and Nick surprises him and they make out

Later Tao and Aled are in Charlie's room and tell him that Nick might want to have sex

Charlie struggles with his body image

The Paris Squad go to Charlie's house to celebrate his birthday, so does Michael

They talk about what they want to study and what university they want to go to

Charlie gets a bit drunk and they all have a sleepover

May, Charlie, Tao and Aled have a Sex ED class while Nick, Sahar, Otis, Christian and Sai have to write about their future, they also talk about the concept of virginity

Tao tries to comfort Charlie and talks about him and Elle trying stuff

After rugby practice, Charlie struggles with his body image in the changing room

Nick and Charlie sneak into Charlies bedroom

They make out on his bed and when Nick asks if he can take his jumper off he struggles again

Jane interrupts them and Charlie tells Nick his worry about taking his shirt off

Sahar asks Charlie about the Summer Fete in July and if he could play the drums in her band

Charlie talks to Geoff about his worries

Mr. Farouk asks Charlie if he wants to be "Head Boy" next year for Sixth Form and he says he'll think about it

Nick asks his mum if Charlie can sleepover and she gives him "the talk"

We see that Nick doesn't really have "close" friends who he can talk to

Charlie and Jane argue and Charlie leaves to go to Nicks house, we also see a flashback of Janes mum being abusive towards her

Charlie tells Nick what happened and Nick opens up to Charlie about his worries as well (about university, friends and figuring himself out)

They have sex

Charlie goes home and Jane and him talk

Three weeks later Nick, Tara and Elle go visit universities for a few days

They first visit Kent University, which is 15 minutes from where they live, and the next day they go to Oxford

Nick tells them about his first time and they bond

They then go visit Loughborough University, and the next day Leeds University (which Nick loves)

They talk more about the future on their drive back home, to the Summer Fete where Charlie will play in the band

Charlie goes and meets up with Tao, Darcy and Aled

Michael appears and talks to Charlie about Tori, so Charlie goes to find her

Tori comes out to Charlie as asexual and talks about her relationship with Michel

Nick, Tara and Elle make it just in time to see the band

Charlie stays the night at Nicks and they have sex

Charlie talks to Nick about him nominated for "Head Boy" and Nick tells him that Leeds is his top university choice

[bairdthereader]

Darcy's argument with her mom is one of the most painful scenes to watch. In the comics, we never really see this conflict firsthand, only bits of it, in retrospect through spoken dialog. On screen, it's visceral and intense and all too relatable for many of us. The animated purple smoke overlay, the muffled voices, the melancholy music, Darcy's clear anticipatory dread of this confrontation . . . all combine to show us just how toxic and horribly constant these interactions are for her.

But there's this glimmer of hope buried in all of that harsh brokenness. When Darcy fights back against her mom's abuse, the weapon she chooses is an incredibly powerful one: her friendships. "They will not laugh. My friends are supportive; my friends like me."

It's easy to miss the fact that Nick isn't the only one being welcomed into Charlie's expanding friend group, and Elle isn't the only one finding her place with new people--Darcy is, too. Of course she has Tara to lean on, but as Alice and the Heartstopper story so brilliantly and tenderly show, sometimes people need more help and support than one person can give, no matter how much that person loves them.

Darcy is developing bonds with people who accept her as she is, maybe for the first time, after years of repression and rejection at home. These new friends effortlessly welcome the self-proclaimed "disaster," the girl who makes everything into a joke, the girl who hides half her life, the girl who loves so deeply but finds it impossible to believe that anyone would love her in return.

Those friendships, the support Darcy knows she can count on from them, give her both the courage to fight and the truth to speak to the battle. She can say--and truly believe--that even if her parents refuse to see her beauty and uniqueness and unabashed, stunning exuberance, her friends do. They see her, and know her, and she can protect herself with that knowledge. They give her the strength she needs to rescue herself.

Yet another diamond-brilliant facet of this show, this story, repeatedly demonstrating that true friendship is vital and lifesaving.

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

I finished the second episode of Heartstopper last night (wanted to post about it yesterday, but I was too tired from work), so here are some of my thoughts in no particular order for you now.

Good on Nick for checking up on Charlie after what happened. I found it odd, though, that he seemed more emotional about it than Charlie, but I guess they're in two very different places, mentally. One being 'why do I seem to like this guy way more than my other friends?' & the other being 'omg stop being so nice to me, your straight!' lol. Plus, I get that everyone deals with stuff in their own way & poor Charlie is probably so used to being mistreated that he might just be repressing the full weight of how his feeling as a copeing mechanism. It was also probably very cathartic to finally tell someone everything that happened between him & Ben (as I'm guessing he kept most if not all of it a secret from his friends & sister).

WE FINALLY MEET NELLIE!!!! And she is as cute as I'd hoped (though for some reason I expected her to be a different colour).

Sorry, Charlie, but Tori's right. Your hair looks exactly the same. Also, love that they kept the gag from the novel about her scaring him with her, always showing up suddenly without warning.

Nice to see that the outfits are on point for our boys so far with the plaid/black jeans (trying to impress someone, I see Charlie) & T-shirt/joggers (also what product is Miss Nelson using coz Nick's tops look soft as hell).

Wait, what season is it supposed to be because it looked really sunny when Charlie was walking to Nick's house (I know he was wearing a coat & hat but Charlie is always cold) but then suddenly it's snowing? Idk when Alice first came up with this story, but as a Brit, I haven't seen proper full on Snow since I was probably around eight years old. But hey, maybe in the Heartstopper universe, global warming doesn't exist.

I don’t care what anyone says, I will never get the fun of a snowball fight. If I go somewhere with a friend & they start throwing stuff at me, I'm leaving! Also, picking it up with your bare hands? One, it's been on the ground 🤢, and two, where are your gloves? Do you not feel the cold? Snow angles do look fun until I think about how my entire behind would be frozen/damp. Sorry if that makes me a "stick in the mud", I don't care 😝.

Damn, that is one photogenic dog & and aww, they already look like a couple. Also, give it up for Nick's freckles, the real star of the show 👏.

Omg, being in the same group as someone you hate must be so hard, but I get why Nick can't really say anything about what Ben did, at least not right now. Also, what is up with that Imogen girl? Mind your damn business.

I think it's good we get to see Elle longing for a bond with other girls that she just can't get from her male friend group. Makes her transition feel more fleshed out (for lack of a better word), you know?

Yay, we finally meet Tara & Darcy & they're exactly how I thought they'd be (except I imagined Darcy with brown hair for some reason). Ooh I didn't know Elle was artistic. I wanna decorate pencil cases now. Tara's pink puffa coat is so cute. What is up with adults dictating how long kids' hair can be? Like who gives a fuck! Also "gal pals" had me 😆.

Oh, thank god, it's just misinformation. For a second, I thought Tao was making shit up just to make Charlie get over his crush. Are kids really like that, though? I can't imagine kissing someone once & having people insist, I'm madly in love with them to this day, like move on already.

Ok, I officially really like the gay teacher, lol.

Love Charlie's sweater & Nick's coats are also very nice. Where are these kids getting their clothes? Coz I'm embarrassed by most of the stuff I wore as a teenager.

The big hoodie moment should be cute, but I just can't help thinking about how skinny Charlie is, which makes me ☹️.

Ok, so I didn't care much for the leaf animation in the first episode, but omg, the little fire crackles when Nick was trying to hold Charlie's hand? Screaming, crying, throwing up!!!!!!! & the hug before he left? Fucking crops watered for life, bitch!

Was digging Elle's outfit, very 70's vibes.

Ah, so their "secret" is out. Also obligatory: 🗣 LET'S GO LESBIANS LET'S GO 🗣

Can't wait for the next episode, but I practically passed out after watching episode 2 (manual labour is hard, kids 😭), so maybe I hallucinated, but did that Imogen girl ask Nick out? I thought she was daiting Ben? Or is that a different girl?

PS. I found out Aled won't be in the show, which I accept & the only reason I haven't talked about Isaac is because he hasn't really done much yet

[supernaturallyliterate]

Thoughts on Heartstopper Season 2!

🛑🛑 SPOILERS AHEAD 🛑🛑

I really liked the way they switched events around but still incorporated all the main events / convos / quotes!! Like Ben asking for an apology, but instead of doing it at Tara's Bday party, they had Harry try to come in & get rejected & gave Ben's moment more depth and gave Charlie a more specific speech to be like "no, I don't forgive you, and I don't want you in my life. GTFO"

I absolutely loved every single one of Elle's outfits. And the dynamic between Elle & Tao developing their relationship! And I really really liked that we got more Tao backstory. His interactions with his mom, his heart to hearts with Nick (esp about his dad & relationship insecurities; we love a self aware king), his awkward first date with Elle at the theater

I liked Elle having more trans and non-binary friends!! And her art school journey!! Yes, give me more insight into each character's world

Naomi & Felix were iconic and I hope to see more of them! I liked that their presence also drew out Tao's insecurities and forced him to confront them. Like at the art show!!

I of course loved more focus on Tara & Darcy! I'm glad it wasn't just "Darcy is afraid to say I love you :/" and more was revealed about her homophobic parents and toxic home life! And oh my god the moment of Tara walking up to Darcy's house to check on her and meeting her mom for the first time had me SCARED. I was literally hiding behind my partner’s shoulder

I think the pacing still felt really good. And even though I knew what path the story was headed, it still felt natural when they switched things up. They maintained faithful to the original narrative while effectively adapting it to a TV show format, which is honestly SUPER impressive

And I am glad they kept in Charlie's mental health!! I think all the small switches they made really draw attention to how difficult it can be to notice an ED, anxiety, OCD, etc in someone else, even a partner. And they found good ways to express that anxiety with different conflicts and situations

IMOGEN. That girl is so bisexual. I called it last season. The vibes. The hair dye. The insistence on being "an ally." And she's totally falling for Sahar and I am HERE FOR IT.

ISSAC. I really really liked his whole arc with James. Asking Charlie how he knew he had a crush on Nick, relating to most of it, testing the waters with a kiss, and then being confused. Taking to the aroace artist at Elle's exhibition. Going back to that oh so centrally placed Ace book from earlier in the season & happily skipping off with it. I am so happy for him

TORI. Iconic, truly. Love all of her appearance and threats to people who could hurt Charlie. THE PHONE KICK SCENE, AHH. I really hope season 3 gets some sprinkles from Solitaire. They kinda hinted at some stuff to come by calling attention to Ben switching to Highs instead of staying at Truham. But I cannot wait for Michael to be introduced and the chaos to ensue.

The casting: 10000000/10

The acting: infinity / 10

The script: PERFECTION / 10

Please please please go watch or read Heartstopper. Better yet, do both.