#so this is just older-modern her aha

[nevalizona]

2). Fall Schedule.

Pardon any errors.

Erick sat at his desk thinking about the weekend. Gracie went to a nightclub, and of course, he had to go too. He, for once, isn't cursing her for spending the weekend doing something so energetic and worldly. He actually enjoyed watching her dance, even if it was with Darren. Her hips swaying, watching her bump and grind, was thrilling. Normally, he'd be pissy about it. He will never get to experience that with her. He's not the kind of guy to go out dancing and even if he was to go, he wouldn't dance with her, especially not like that. So often, when he would leave the nightclub after watching her, feeling so dejected and sometimes downright depressed because he knows he will never be the kind of guy she wants. He's not fun. He's never been fun. He tried to force those thoughts out of his head. He didn't want to think about all the ways that made him lesser as a man, instead he'd rather think about her sensual dancing and how he wished he could experience that, if even only for a moment.

"Hey, Erick." His co-worker, Genevieve Rivera, greeted him shyly as she stood at the entrance of his cubicle. She had a warm smile and rosy cheeks. Erick himself felt a little giddy when she was around. But Genevieve is just too shy for him. He has always liked a confident woman. Genevieve can go for long periods without leaving her house. That's something Erick cannot understand and really doesn't know how to combat.

"Gen! How was your weekend?" Erick asked, immediately being friendly and kind.

Genevieve's cheeks reddened a little as she looked down at her hands.

"Uh, well, this weekend one of the stations, can't remember which one, was playing this docu-series on the decades and this one was focusing on the 60s and there was an episode on Vietnam and everything that happened there. Made me think of you, though, because that's one of the wars you've told me about." She said sheepishly.

Erick smiled smally.

"Yeah! That was just awful, huh? I can't pretend to be an expert on it, but I have read a bit and watched even more. I think I know the series you're talking about! Is the 70s next?"

"Uh huh! I must admit, I got a little choked up near the end of the 60s. With all the bad that happened near the end, I couldn't help but just… almost long for the good the stuff the moon brought." Genevieve explained, barely looking at Erick as she talked.

"Yeah, what a hopeful end to such a shitty decade. I mean- there was a lot of good but… I'm going to start rambling, and I know I'll bore you."

"You won't bore me at all. I love listening to you talk. What did you do this weekend?"

Erick looked at her for a few moments, thinking about what he wanted to say. He obviously can't tell her he went to a nightclub. That just isn't in his character. What can he say? For some reason, he was blanking on anything he could say.

"Uh- just went to breakfast with my sister. Nothing special. Did you end up hanging out with your friend from the book club you go to?" Erick asked, glad that he could move the attention away from him.

Immediately, Genevieve's cheeks reddened, and she looked away from him and toyed with her necklace anxiously.

"Something came up. So I spent the weekend alone."

"Genevieve."

"I know. I know. I promise I'm going to get out of the house this week, really."

"It's autumn now. There's so much to do. How about you and I go to a bookstore and get some coffee." Erick couldn't believe he just asked that outright. Talking to women he was attracted to has always been difficult.

Her eyes widened for a moment before she nodded her head quickly.

"That sounds great, Erick!"

Erick smiled back at her, heart pounding in his chest. He kept wanting to pinch himself, calm down a little so he wouldn't make a fool out of himself.

"We'll solidify our plans when it's closer to the weekend."

"Great! I'll talk to you later!" She exclaimed, hurrying off in the direction of her cubicle. As soon as she was gone, Erick sat back in his chair and sighed, rubbing his face.

He likes Genevieve enough. She's attractive. He's always thought so. Pretty brown eyes that look soft and friendly. Her nose takes up too much of her face, but he always thought that was just the cutest thing. Her body was right down his alley. Fat but not afraid to still dress nice. She may not be as big as Gracie, but he has always enjoyed a full figured woman. That's something Claudia never had going for her. Always too thin, never much to grab onto. If only Genevieve was just a bit more confident. She'd be perfect for him. His dream woman, in fact. She has always appreciated everything he's ever said to her, and he does the same for her. But her inability to go out into the world, be dependent on herself, just bothers the hell out of him. He never wants to be responsible for his partner in the same way a parent is responsible for their children.

He doesn't want to ask her if she's got some fresh air recently. Make sure she's not holed up in her house for days at a time. He doesn't want to ask her if she's eating right or eating at all. Has she moved around, or has she just laid in bed all day? He cares an awful lot about Genevieve, but he gets why she's 42 and single. Erick immediately felt bad for the thought. No one deserves to be alone just because they're obviously mentally ill. She needs help. Agoraphobia and anxiety have taken over her life. His precious Gracie is bipolar with severe bouts of anxiousness. He should be more understanding than he has the tendency to be.

[come-away-with-me87]

Modern Hearts Chapter 11

Chapter 10 here

******

You don't know why you did it, but you quickly glanced over at Shouta, who was frowning down at his empty drink.  "I think I need another drink," he said grumpily before getting up and leaving the booth.  What was that all about?  He was having a seemingly good time, at least until these two showed up.  Maybe he wasn't a big fan of these guys?  Who knows?  Enji spoke up again, "we're out tonight 'cause this one here," motioning to Keigo, "wanted to take a break from patrolling and have some 'fun'."  You smiled up at Enji and replied, "sometimes it's nice to take a break and enjoy yourselves."  Enji just stood there with a stoic look on his face and said nothing in return.

"Aha!" said Keigo, "you see, Enji?  Not only is she beautiful, but she's smart, too."  Nemuri and Mic were just staring at the exchange between the three of you, not saying a word.  At that point, Shouta came back to the table with a fresh drink in his hand, saying, "so you're both still here, huh?"  Keigo looked over at Shouta briefly, replying, "we were actually on our way out, until I spotted this lovely lady here.  I couldn't just walk by and not say hi."  Shouta just frowned in response, absentmindedly stirring a straw in his drink. You looked over at Keigo and got a better look at him. He was cute, but upon closer inspection, he looked young.

You were a bit drunk at this point, so you came right out and asked Keigo how old he was.  "I'm a mature 22," he replied.  You couldn't help but burst out laughing when he said that. "You're just a baby!"  When you said that, Nemuri and Mic nearly spit out their drinks, and even Shouta had a small grin on his face.  You had no idea you were talking to the number two hero in that way.  Instead of getting offended, Keigo just smiled at you and winked, "I have a thing for older women.  Besides, you don't look a day over twenty yourself."  You couldn't help but blush again, and didn't know what to say.  Suddenly, Keigo handed you his cell phone, saying, "listen Y/N, this one here is eager to get going.  Would you be a peach and add your name and number to my contact list?"  Wow, he was bold.  Even though he was young, he really was cute.  You knew this wasn't going anywhere serious, but maybe you could have some fun?  At that point, you plugged your name and number into Keigo's phone, then handed it back to him.

"Thank ya, doll!  You'll be hearing from me soon, I promise," he said with another wink.  At that point, everyone said their goodbyes to each other, and you saw Enji and Keigo walk out of the bar, with a single red feather falling off of Keigo onto the floor of the bar.  You just sat there and stared at the feather for a moment, then looked back at everyone you were sitting with. Nemuri and Mic just gawked at you, and Shouta was still staring down at his drink.�� Nemuri was the first one to speak up, "you've been here ONE week, Y/N, and not only did you give your number to a guy, but not just any guy, to the number TWO hero!"  You looked at her inquisitively, when Mic spoke up. "Yeah Y/N, since All Might retired, that put Endeavor into the number one spot and Hawks into the number two spot."

Now it was your turn to gawk; you had no idea.  "That's....wild," you replied.  Nemuri and Mic just laughed, with Mic nudging Shouta in the shoulder, "how 'bout it, Eraser, eh?"  Shouta didn't say anything in response.  Instead, he downed the rest of his drink and announced that he was leaving.  He got a lot of grief for that from Nemuri and Mic, but he stood his ground.  He got up, said goodnight, barely even looking at you, and walked out of the bar.

"Well, I can't say I'm surprised he left, this isn't really his scene," Mic stated, motioning around the bar.  "Even then, it did seem kind of abrupt that he left.  To me, it looked like he was enjoying himself tonight.  At least until those two showed up."  Nemuri and Mic just shrugged their shoulders in a 'who knows?" sort of way.  The three of you had a good time for the remainder of the night leaving the bar around midnight.  All three of you were very drunk at that point, so you decided to stop at a fast food place that was still open as an attempt to sober up.  The three of you hailed a car, and you asked the driver to take you to the nearest fast food restaurant.

As the three of you got your food to-go, you went back out the car that was waiting for you and made your way back to Heights Alliance.  You paid the driver once you arrived in front of the campus, got out, and all three of you said your goodnights and made your way to your individual dorms.  Once you got inside, the first thing you did was eat your burger and fries, which did help with sobering you up...a little bit.  Your mind couldn't help but go to Shouta, wondering why he left so abruptly tonight.  You could understand what Mic said about that not being his scene, but his mood really changed after Endeavor and Hawks stopped by the table.  Normal Y/N would never do this, but drunk Y/N was feeling bold.  Still in the same clothes you were at the bar, you stumbled out of your dorm, went next door, and knocked on Shouta's door.

******

To be continued...

******

Tag list: @jaguarthecat ; @lili-pond ; @big-denki-energy

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas <3

cw/tws for medical stuff, complex family relationships, discussion of death

so, for context, im a regulus black kinnie (itll make sense, give me a sec aha). ive got a difficult relationship with most of my family, but most especially my mother and older sister. my sister is a lot like our family's sirius (except if he still had walburga's narcissism, cruelty and manipulation), and she really doesnt get along with either of our parents. my mother is... a difficult woman, in that she likes to victimise herself in every situation, shes homophobic/transphobic/all the phobics, shes also very narcissistic, and likes to make uncomfortable comments without bothering to be nice about it. all in all, i try not to be around her much. im also supposed to be moving out soon, and planned to minimise contact as much as possible once i do.

to the point: my mother was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. my father (hes kind of a neutral party in the family dynamics, btw) was the one talking to me about it, since she's in hospital at the moment. he said they caught it early enough where a bit of chemo over the next few months should get rid of it and she'll be okay, but 'cancer' is a scary as fuck word. he also then told me that this isnt her first time with it — she had a different type of cancer around 20 years ago.

honestly, i feel like my brain is battling itself about how i should feel. on the one hand, ive been looking forward to not having to be around her now for years, and i hold very little love for her at this point. why should i care? she'll be fine at the end of it anyway. but shes still my mum, yknow? and i feel awful having these thoughts about how badly ive always thought of her and how much ive wanted for so long to get away from her and how it almost feels like this is some sort of sick fucking joke from the universe about how i should be careful what i wish for or something.

this whole situation keeps making me think about regulus in best friends brother(? i think thats the right fic) or p much any modern au where walburga dies so tbh ill probably end up writing a fic about it to cope, but still i just... i guess i needed to tell someone? my father asked me to keep it to myself for now so that it wasnt spread around where we live (its a small area; everyone knows everyone).

and the bit with my sister - as i said, she doesnt get along with our parents. i dont talk to her much anymore either because she seemed to inherit a lot of our mothers worst traits, but im afraid that if we do talk about this then she'll have some awful thing to say about it. she makes some really dark 'jokes' sometimes about suicide and death and such, and im nervous that she'll say something about how she hopes it kills her (again, my sister fucking sick, and has zero empathy), because shes made similar jokes about other stuff in the past. i also dont think she'd understand that im still afraid for our mother even after everything shes done, and i hate the way my sister turns on me and rips the piss out of me when she doesnt like what i do.

it all kind of circles back to how im supposed to feel, i guess. part of me wants to not care and brush it off, whatever, but theres still part of me dying for my mothers love and approval and is terrified of losing her, even with the low possibility.

sorry this got so long, and for how heavy it is. i hope youre doing well cas, and thank you for all you do for us <3

Hi hon!

My god, you ARE a reg kinnie.

Here's the thing- there is not a RIGHT way to feel about those things. You have a complex relationship with your mom, so of course you'll have complex feelings about the situation. You don't need to feel guilty for feeling any certain way, because there's no right or wring way to process this. You're allowed to feel scared and neutral and confused and ambivalent. That's okay!

Your feelings aren't a betrayal to anyone, and you have a right to them. You also have a right to any action you choose to take. Remember to do what feels right for YOU, because YOU are important.

I'm here if you ever need to talk <3

Naming you reg kin anon.

[mecharose]

ur not escaping my asks tonight I just need to go digging on ur blog for more about the rando cinematic universe (u or i need to make a shorter way to type that cus my attention span was screaming by the end of rando) brb

im gonna use this ask as an excuse to finally explain the main characters :D

these two are basically the overall "main characters" and appear in all eras (not every story tho):

Gilly (fae): the faerie queen of the forest. she assigned herself to be the immortal protector of a noble family of monster hunters/scholars, the Hawthornes. to her, they're her beloved family... until she's brutally betrayed in the 1890s. usually a helpful/nice character, kinda feral and trickster-y

Eyeball Guy (fae): moon faerie, goes by cool names like The Eternal Night Incarnate and Cosmic Sky Eyeball. accidental creator of vampires, later a vampire hunter. usually appears as an antagonist/villain - he doesn't WANT to be though, and is slowly going insane from guilt and self hatred

most stories indirectly revolve around one of their plot lines - Gilly stories are like tee hee fuck capitalism! :3 and Eyeball Guy stories are TRAGEDY AND MADNESS

the rest are named in chronological order of appearance w a very quick description for each below the cut:

fantasy era (the dawn of time until like early 1900s):

The Vampire Hunter™ (vampire): a 300 year old vampire hunter-turned-vampire. kills or turns any vampire hunters who find her for advice.

Cyn (human): silly goofy vampire hunter sidekick! later, a magic-creature serial killer after finding out their beloved mysterious vampire hunting buddy was secretly a primordial cosmic horror (eyeball guy!)

Luisa (vampire): Cyn's lesbian older sister. became a vampire hunter to protect them from their fucked up tyrannical family, was later turned into one when seeking advice from the Vampire Hunter™.

Montague Hawthorne (human): aka "the gilded age capitalist witch." betrays Gilly, to free his family from being forced to face magical dangers. technically the "BIG BAD" of the fantasy era, bc he turns the Hawthornes into capitalists like the Rockefellers

Caelia Hawthorne (human): ^bros younger sister, victorian mad scientist experimenting on magic and magical creatures >:)

Moira (fae): giant sea serpent. hates humans bc she got captured and imprisoned in a tank. possessive sidekick of evil pirate jesus, unsuccessfully trying to use her to get revenge on humanity

Evil Pirate Jesus (aka Jamie!! she has a name now!!): unwanted child of Cyn and Eyeball Guy, also the first human/fae to exist. has powers to generate & control light, also heal herself. she doesn't care that she has powers or is magically significant and just wants some parental figure to adopt her (cough aka Montague Hawthorne)

modern era (1970s onward):

Nelly (mostly human): 2013-era descendant of jamie. she can see the giant sky eyeball bc she is distantly related to it -- she doesn't know this and thinks she's imagining it, and tries many psychiatric interventions to get rid of it with 0% success

Annie (human): time loop girl! trapped living through the year 2013, 37 times in a row.

The Moth King (fae): sometimes the RCU is so fairytale, bc the moon faerie has a little moth knight :3 controls shadows & exclusively lives in the Fae Realm. maya's monster husband

Maya (human): a renaissance faire blacksmith who gets kidnapped to the Fae Realm and survives off sheer caution and common sense

Irina: massive dumbass who gets kidnapped by the fae **on purpose** bc she wants a hot faerie wife. a very fatal plan indeed

i'm pretty sure that's literally any character i've talked about in any sort of detail. and so I bestow: context :P (thx for reading if u got this far aha)

[quibliography]

Anxious People by Fredrik Backman

Synopsis:  This novel is about the relationships that develop between a failed bank robber and an unlikely group of hostages from a nearby open house. Eight strangers didn't realize how attending an open house that day would change them. Although, really, who has an open house on New Year's Eve?? Zara, a wealthy bank director, is there just to secretly observe how ordinary people live. Roger and Anna-Lena, an older married couple, are there as house flippers, a hobby that sustains their fragile relationship. Julia and Ro, soon-to-be parents, are there to find their first family home if they could ever agree on something. They all think they're there for an apartment, but under the pressures of a hostage situation with such an impossible group of people, they realize something even greater.

My Quibs: I was not prepared for the style of a Fredrik Backman book. A thick helping of wacky characters that conceal a small but very serious acknowledgement about humanity. He has a frenetic style, going from one POV to another very quickly. With so many characters to juggle, my brain was racing to keep up with whose story I was reading. And not only does Backman keep a light-hearted and zippy tone, but his characters do too. You have the rambling real estate agent, the snippy bank director, the squabbling young couple. It comes off initially as a comedy. ...except then there's also suicide. One especially important one that connects a lot of the characters. And between these two levels, I got severe whiplash. That's not to say I don't love a dark comedy, but I dunno, the Swedish sense of humor (or is it just Backman?) is really steep. A high high and a really low low - I just don't have the emotional wingspan to stretch between both these points. In the end, I had to pick one over the other. And since it's also a locked door mystery, there was a lot more space to enjoy it as a comedy. A story about a bunch of bumbling misfit strangers who help each other out in the middle of a strange and unfortunate situation.

And just as a minor footnote comment. I need a glossary of interpreted Swedish terms. I had so many questions like "What and why is a cashless bank?" and "What does 'Hows tricks' mean and why is it funny?" and "What's with all the jokes about Stockholmers?". I think a decent chunk of the book was lost in translation.

Should you read it? If you've read other Backman novels and enjoyed them.

Similar reads? I'm not entirely sure I know any. If anything, this has made me think that I need to broaden my repertoire of modern European novels - besides British, I mean.

(Spoiler Alert!) There's really only one secret in the whole of the novel and that's the identity of the bank robber. And chasing that thread really diminishes the theme of Backman's story about humans and our connections to each other. This might be repetitive of what I said earlier but when part of my brain is trying to decipher who the bank robber is and how they managed to escape the apartment, I'm distracted from connecting to the cast of characters. Whom are *also* focused on the identity of the bank robber, both in obscuring it and revealing it. And when we finally do get the reveal that the robber is a her and not a him, I did a real double take and had to flip back in the book to check that I hadn't mistaken things earlier. But no, Backman does a full deceit, using all kinds of male terms and then just slaps us with a "AHA! But she's actually female!". Which is not subtle and not cool. I give a tiiiny benefit of the doubt that this could be a loss in translation. Maybe Swedish is more lose with their pronouns and there wasn't a better way to communicate genderlessness in English? Dunno...

I do give a little credit as to the reveal of her escape. Backman dropped really random and dismiss-able bread crumbs, like "Oh, you know those neighbors were always squabbling and just couldn't stand to live together anymore". Then no more mention of the neighbor. That Estelle once received a key from a man in the elevator, but nothing else really about this man. It was a bit rushed, but it wasn't faster than the pacing of the rest of the book.

What did you think of Anxious People?

[andrewkhurst]

THE BIG BAN THEORY. MARTHA MAKES HER MARK.

When Martha was a tiny newborn, and mum and I were actually still in control of the TV remote, she would stop whatever she was doing when she heard the theme tune of The Big Bang Theory on TV, and just stare at the screen for its duration. Now that she's five, our chances of choosing TV viewing are definitely remote, and Martha has definitely developed several Sheldon like personality traits, the most obvious being that she has a favourite spot on the sofa that nobody else is allowed to sit on. Like Sheldon's, Martha's spot to sit is on the left hand side of the sofa. She also has a cushion that she likes that nobody else is allowed to use. It’s a Habitat cushion in a classic mid century modern design, so I get why she loves it. I paid for it, so I don’t get how I’m not allowed to use it.

This morning, Martha sat on the right hand side of the sofa and began crafting a miniature top hat out of several Post-it notes and seven rolls of Sellotape. Standard Martha. I sat down next to her in an attempt to collaborate on the hat project, which meant I was sitting in the designated Martha spot.

She looked around at me said "dad are you in my seat?"

I replied with a very factual response. "Yes Martha, because you're sitting on the other side of the sofa, and I don't want to squash you".

"Are you touching my cushion?"

Focus on the facts dad. Stay strong. "Yes Martha, because it's behind me".

I got the dead eye stare. "Don't touch my cushion dad".

"You are not using it Martha, and it's comfy on my back".

"I KNOW that dad, but that's MY cushion".

"Do you want it Martha? I'll swap with the one behind you".

"No. I just don't want you to have it".

"OK" (time for a subject change) "Do you need any help with your hat?"

"Erm NO. Just move my cushion please".

I moved Martha's cushion. Hilariously, we have two of these cushions, identical in every way, one on each of our sofas, and mum had to move Martha's precious cushion last week after aunty had committed the heinous crime of cushion touching. Mum simply swapped Martha’s special cushion with its poor unloved twin. And hasn’t swapped it back since. Martha told mum that she knows which of the identical cushions is hers as she has written an M in pen on the inner cushion. She obviously didn’t know it had been swapped out, and has taken the placebo cushion as the real deal since then. I made a mental note to tell Martha the hilarious tale of the swapped cushion when she was older, making sure that I'd clearly point out that umm had done the swapping, not me. When Martha announced that she was going upstairs for her morning poo, I went over to the other sofa and unzipped the cover of her beloved cushion, the one that had been subject to a sneaky switcheroo. No letter ‘M’. Aha! She was bluffing.

Or was she?

I went back to Martha’s spot and unzipped the cushion on her sofa. Lo and behold, I discovered a large capital letter ‘M’ in the middle of the inner cushion in Berol black marker pen. She DID know, and she has already swapped them back. Schrödinger’s cushion was alive and well.

[astoryofsuchwoe]

DONE ! AOIGSDOGUHSDF HEAD IN MY HANDSSSSS trix recently has just been the number one "stop going back into ur trauma bro istg"/lh first vic now cindy.... and yayaya i can see it.. an would be happy that she gets interaction w her for sure tho! MATCHING FLOEWR CROWNS... OH I HAVE TO DRAW TAHT. AND YA vic would be SOOOOO wary of her bc hes like "bitch u made my sister cry for so long why should i like u????"

DUDE ANKOKU WOULD BE SUCH A SILLY BILLY ADDITION TO SETUP AND TAKEDOWN... as would an.... the besties would be besties.... modern au trix and ankoku dynamic is the same dynamic in this au i think except its more "umm thats my ex dont touch ehr?" "SORRY" "i am litearlly /j dude"

DOOMED FRMO THE START.... TOXIC YSOSU...... THRWOS UP........ when they cant understand each other yet try so hard to but it just leads to their downfall..... AND IT WOULD IT WOULD i can totally seenig them originally being like mizisua where they were learning a duet together yayay

vic showing affection as a kid will KILL ME. hes a lot more open with it as a kid. i think toxic ysosu contributes to him closing up when he gets older... bc the last people he shows affection to openly turn out like that... theo changing hiimself for vic EXPOKES. explodes? i cant type but YEAH. vic the kinda guy to be like "we hung otu once that doesnt make us friends?" and theo and pale JUMP HIM/j WHEN THEY BELIEVE THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO WELL BUT REALLY DONT KNOW SHIT 🔥🔥🔥 toxic ysosu would be happy in modern au only to me i Cannto see them getting along in canon. and AOGUSDOGUDSHF YEAH YEAH YEAH theo and trix interaction.... we should write a thing together aha smirsk

ME TOO ME TOO ITS SO FUNNNNNN get these guys in a room itll make tehm better (lying)

thinking.. thinknig. i posted it earlier btu im kinda making an au where trix ends up infiltrating alnst to save an.. do u think cindy would help? i know their friendship ended very abruptly so :3 and we have talked about toxic ysosu a lot but what exactly do u think theo fell for in vic? and how do u think they interacted?

OH NO I DIDNT SEE HELLO?????? i think cindy would definitely help! cindy definitely knows how important an is to trix, even if they stopped being friends after their breakup, so she'd def try to help :3 idk if shed be like there Actually helping the rescue or more bts and like being the getaway driver or something like that tho sldjfj and depending on when this happens this could also create some great cindy and brandon angst >:] so yes, shed definitely go to help. altho i dont think this would help mend their relationship, cindy was hurt about their abrupt end but i think she moved on from her and doesnt wanna be friends again, just acquaintances </3

follow up question!! in this au, do you think an would try to get ankoku? would she just abruptly leave him, or go to tell him?

toxic ysosu ... theyve plagued my mind so much ..... i think the biggest thing theo fell in love with was vics passion. they both care so much about opposite things (saving and hating humans) but their passion is both the same, and its something that amazes theo. theo has been surrounded by human haters his whole life, and then pale is kinda in the same territory as them (i dont think he Hates humans but he doesnt like them), so to meet someone who has a completely opposite perspective amazes him. i also think he loves his singing. iirc, vic has a deeper voice, and i imagine theo having a higher voice like this? or like this? havent really thought about it yet but just something higher so hes like "woah ... so deep ... woah ..." and hes also attracted to his looks so :3 yeah sjdlf and idk why but my gut is telling me that it was vic who made the first move maybe? like ik he has this "idrc" personality but i think he like invites them to practice or something and they all do and thats how they started. after that, i think it was theo who kept making sure they hung out, as he enjoyed their dynamic a lot. and i said this in the gc, but i think they have a bakugo and todoroki dynamic kinda, maybe not exactly like the clips in this vid but i just think the vibes. theo def is a cocky lil shit who doesnt really show that he cares that often but he does in like lil ways so vic def knows

throwing this question back at you, why does vic like theo? why does he stay being friends with him? after their first interaction post-escape, does what does vic think about him? does he tell setup and takedown about him?

[writing-in-a-chipotle]

Unbearably Mortal (Part 2)

(Alcina Dimitrescu x gender neutral reader)

Part 1

Words: ~2.5 K

Summary: In which a lot of things happen and none of them are good.

A/N: Hey, y’all! Back at it again with another chapter! Hope you enjoy!

“Nope nope nope nope… no way in hell…” You shook your head violently, unable to process what Mary had said. “This is… this is all some sort of elaborate prank, right? You’re messing with me. Yeah.” You swallowed. Your saliva felt like acid.

Mary grimaced. “I’m sorry, but this isn’t a game. This is very much reality.”

“So… what are they then?” You began pacing the floor, anxiety clinging to the pit of your stomach. “You expect me to believe that they’re some sort of weird, blood-sucking vampires?? You must be out of your mind… they don’t exist! They can’t be real!”

Mary stood up and walked over to you, gently placing her hands on your shoulders. With her blocking your path, you were forced to stop pacing and look at her.

“Listen,” She began, eyes gleaming with fear “I have no need to lie to you. Believe whatever you want to believe, for the only thing on the line right now is your head. Jane and I risked our lives to save you. If we were caught, all of us would have died. So, are you going to freak out and get yourself killed, or are you gonna listen to me?”

You were stunned into silence. Mary was being deathly serious. You nodded shakily.

“Good.” Mary breathed a sigh of relief. “If you had a mental breakdown and they heard…” She didn’t finish her sentence. She didn’t need to either; the implication was horrifying enough as it was.

“Thank you, by the way,” you sighed, sitting back down on the bed, “you really didn’t have to save me.”

“Honestly, I’m still scared out of my mind,” she admitted breathily, “but I’m glad you’re better now.”

“Thanks.”

She hummed, then pursed her lips. Her frown deepened even more. “Well… now what do we do? The Dimitrescu family is notorious for slaughtering any trespassers they find.”

Your eyes widened and your stomach dropped. “Oh no… oh no, no, no…”

You were stuck. You were stuck in a terrifying castle with horrifying, blood-sucking monsters who would gladly turn you into a mangled corpse on their living room floor. You had no way to call for help, and your parents probably didn’t even know what was happening…

Your phone.

You patted your pockets and fished through them. Let’s see: some dirt, a crumpled flight itinerary, your house keys… aha!

“...what’s in the box?” Mary asked, “I don't think I’ve seen anything like it before.”

You blinked. Box? “Oh, this? It’s my phone.” You rotated it slowly in your fingers so she could easily see all its sides. “It’s a bit larger and blockier than your average iPhone because it’s designed to connect directly to the satellite, making it easy to call anyone from anywhere in the world. It cost me a lot of money, but since I was planning on traveling the world after I graduated, I decided it wouldn’t hurt to have it a few years early.”

Mary gave you a completely confused stare. “What’s an… iPhone? Or a sad-del-light? Did you make those up?”

You frowned, your eyebrow twitching in confusion. “Uh… no? I wouldn’t make anything like this up. You… you truly don’t know what modern technology is like?”

She shook her head. “I’ve… never been outside the village. I have no idea what the rest of the world is like.”

“And you don’t have a phone? Internet? Anything??”

“I’m afraid not,” She fidgeted with the hem of her skirt, “the Lords don’t allow anyone to leave the village or write letters to the outside world.”

A chill shot up your spine. “That’s… terrifying…”

Mary nodded, then tilted her head, thinking. She pursed her lips and motioned with her finger for you to come closer. You lean your ear to her.

“What is it?” You whisper.

“There are rumors of a girl who escaped the Lord’s wrath,” she began, “apparently, she managed to leave the village unharmed. There was an old hag who used to moan about how her daughter left her for a new life. She sounded half mad, so no one bothered listening to her.”

Your grandmother. She was talking about your grandmother.

And your mom.

This meant that… your mom knew about these crazy monsters? That she let you come here, to a place where you would most likely die? Alone??

Nothing made sense anymore.

You realized you had zoned out of Mary’s story. You shook your head, bringing your attention back to the present.

“Is that a good idea?”

“Uh, sorry, what?” You blinked. Mary was staring at you like you were an idiot. (Which you were, but that’s not the point.)

“I said,” she repeated, “you need to blend in until we can figure out how to escape.”

“That’s… that’s a pretty good idea. And wait….” you repeated her words in your mind. “We? You want to come too?”

“Goddess, it’s like you’re dense or something.” Mary muttered under her breath. “Of course I want to leave! Are you out of your mi-“

“I get it, I get it,” you huffed, interrupting her, “What do we do now?”

“Now,” she folded her arms, “we need to get you a disguise.” She walked over to a tiny dresser in the far corner and pulled out a neatly-folded maid’s uniform. “I hope you’re my size.”

————————

Turns out you weren’t Mary’s size.

You couldn’t help it; your new friend was practically a walking stick. Your shoulders were too broad, your legs too long; but with Mary’s excellent sewing skills, you were able to make it work… sort of.

“Damn, this uniform is itchy,” you complained, scratching at the neckline.

“You’ll grow used to it after a while,” Mary replied. “Now we need to get to work or-“

“We’ll be made into wine. Got it.” You straightened out your sleeves.

She nodded. “Just follow my lead.”

The two of you walked quickly and quietly out of the servant’s quarters. Your heart was racing. Every time you turned a corner, you half expected a bloodied monster to jump the both of you and tear out your arteries.

You rounded another bend and nearly walked into Mary. She had stopped suddenly and immediately fled to the side of the hallway, bowing deeply at the corridor. You quickly followed her lead.

The moment you bowed your head, a steady buzzing filled your ears.

Swarms of flies flitted through your vision as they flew down the hall, buzzing excitedly. Maliciously. You don’t know how they managed to convey such emotions, but they seemed…. off.

And then, they changed.

The insects spiraled and spun into a large, buzzing mass, sewing themselves into a completely different form; one with a deep black cloak, ghoulishly pale hands, wild blonde hair…

And blood-stained teeth.

Mary curtsied deeply and you were quick to follow suit. “Good evening, Lady Bela,” she said softly, refusing to look up, “how may we be of service?”

Bela gave a bored wave of her hand. “We’re a bit... short-staffed in the kitchens at the moment,” she drawled, “Mother doesn’t want dinner to be served a second too late. She-” Her eyes fell on you and she stopped dead in her tracks. “You smell familiar, human…” she growled.

Oh no, you were dead, you were dead, you were dead. Cold sweat fell from your neck, and your heart raced. Bela stepped closer to you, brows furrowed and hungry eyes glinting.

“They’re new, Lady Bela,” Maria said quickly.

She raised an immaculate brow. “New, you say?”

“Yes, Miss.”

“... I see.”

It was only a moment before she leaned away, but to you, it felt like hours. The Dimitrescu was a terrifyingly deadly whirlwind, one that seemed to stare directly into your soul… maybe even smell your fear. Bela’s lips twitched, giving you a glimpse of sharp fangs.

“Well then, newcomer,” she hissed, amusement dripping in her voice, “if you’re so eager to serve us, I want you to pour the wine.”

Your heart raced in panic, your hands shaking. Pouring the wine meant seeing these monsters at their most bloodthirsty. It meant you would get caught.

I won’t survive, you thought fearfully.

You quickly dropped into a clumsy curtsy before you forgot yourself. “A-as you wish, Lady Bela,” you choke out.

“Hm… we’ll see, won’t we.” She dissolved into a sea of flies and flew down the hallway and out of sight.

You breathed heavily. Your heart was still going a mile a minute. Before you could say anything, Mary grabbed your arm and tugged you along.

“Wha-“

“Shh,” she hissed. “Not yet.”

You followed her silently to the kitchen. This whole situation was too hard to process… you’d barely been in Romania for a day and you suddenly had to face the reality of your imminent death.

You felt lightheaded. Your vision swam.

“Where are you, draga mea?” A smooth, enchanting voice swirled in your mind. You felt your pulse hammering in your temples. The voice sounded so close, yet so far away. It was familiar and warm… but it was too hard to tell if it meant anything. You were too woozy, too lightheaded…

“It’s time to wake up, darling,” the voice continued dreamily, “Open your eyes for me?”

“...hey… hey!” A familiar voice hissed, “hello? Are you alright?”

Your eyes snapped open.

Mary stood in front of you, her hands on your shoulders. Once she saw you move, she breathed a sigh of relief. “Are you alright? You haven’t blinked for the past few minutes, nor have you responded to anything or anyone around you.”

“Yeah, I just…” you swallowed thickly. What was wrong with you? “... I just spaced out.” Mary frowned, giving you a suspicious glance, but didn’t push.

You were in the kitchen. Cooks and maids bustled around in an organized fashion, whispering instructions to each other while slicing, cooking, and plating bright red slabs of meat. You definitely didn’t want to know what kind the Dimitrescu’s were eating tonight.

Someone grabbed your arm and you flinched, turning around. It was one of the older cooks, a salt and pepper haired woman with soot-stained clothes and greasy calloused hands. She shoved a a bottle of wine into your hands so fast, you nearly dropped it. She glowered at you.

“As soon as the meal is served, you pop open the bottle and pour for everyone.” She hurriedly rattled off instructions. “When they finish their drink, pour them another. You do not look at them, you do not touch them or their glasses, you don’t even breathe around them. And for the love of the Goddess: Do. Not. Spill.”

You gulped and nodded. You just had to do your job, then leave. That’s all. You could do this.

Or so you told yourself.

The old woman gave you a quick look, and for a moment it seemed she gave you a twinge of a sympathetic smile. But just like that it was gone, replaced by her signature scowl.

“Alright, we go in three…” she held up three fingers covered in burn scars. One second passed. Then another.

The kitchen maids smoothly entered the dining room in one sweeping motion; a flurry of skirts and iron serving trays. You followed them close behind. The maids placed the trays in front of each Dimitrescu before fleeing to the kitchen single file.

And then it hit you.

You were the only maid who was supposed to stay throughout the entire meal.

Without you even knowing it, Bela had assigned you one of the most dangerous jobs at the castle; one where you had to stay, alone, in the same room as four hungry, bloodthirsty vampires.

You quickly began pouring the wine.

You walked around the massive mahogany table, trying your best not to spill the blood-red drink. You poured for Bela first, and you tried your absolute best not to look her in the eye. You didn’t know what you would do if you saw her grinning.

You moved on to the next Dimitrescu: a redhead with glistening fangs. As you poured, she suddenly hissed. In your surprise, you fumbled the bottle. But you didn’t spill.

The last sister (you assumed all three of them were sisters based on their similar appearances) was a brunette with mischievous eyes. You didn’t mean to look at her… you really didn’t…

Based on her low, rumbling cackle, you knew you were doomed.

The last Dimitrescu, the Lady Dimitrescu, was much different than the other three. She was incredibly tall, with a flowing white dress that fell to her ankles, a wide-brimmed hat…

And pearly-white satin gloves.

Why did that seem so familiar?

You shook your head. You had to stop thinking and just pour the wine! You only had one more glass to fill, after all.

The brunette stuck out her foot, and you went down.

You landed on top of the bottle, and it shattered under you. Glass and wine flew everywhere, piercing your clothes, slicing your skin, staining the rug…

And completely drenching the front of Lady Dimitrescu’s immaculate dress.

The air cracked with electricity. “You...” she hissed, in a stranglely familiar voice.

Before you could even beg for forgiveness, the towering terror of a woman stood from the table and grasped you by the collar before you could even blink.

She growled, breath smelling of blood. “You will pay for your insole-“ her breath hitched. Her death grip on you loosened and faded, till you dropped to the floor like a rag doll.

Fearfully, you looked up at her.

Her demeanor had completely changed. Where once stood a cold-hearted monster was a shocked, crying… woman. Tears streaked down her face, dripping from her chin as she sunk to the floor. She didn’t look like a monster, she looked… human.

The lady reached out a gloved hand, then flinched as if burned. She looked lost and confused and sad; unable to process what she was looking at… or rather, who she was looking at.

A chill ran up your spine, fearful tendrils snaking through your system as you both stared into each other’s eyes.

And then, Lady Dimitrescu uttered a single word, barely a whisper at all, and your stomach dropped. Your world spun.

“Y/N?”

You couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. Everything you had ever known was completely useless, and your life would end at any moment, you were sure. You felt like crying, you felt like throwing up.

She said your name.

Lady Dimitrescu, one of the most powerful supernatural beings in the world, who couldn’t possibly know who you were, had said your name.

It was too much. There were too many strong emotions, too many near-death experiences in one day. Your body was bloody and exhausted, your energy spent.

You collapsed on the dining room floor, and your vision faded to black.

[qqueenofhades]

Hi, I’ve been wanting to ask this for ages. Do you have any good book recs for queer history pre-20th century? I don’t have much of a preference on whether they’re popular or academic press, or if they focus on individuals or a larger scope. It’s just so easy (for obvious reasons) to find stuff about more recent history and I’d like some variety.

Also since you asked for prompts while you have the plague, I’d love anything that comes to mind with more Leia.

Do I have any recs for pre-20th century queer history? Ahaha. Ahahaahaha. Aha. Hah. I, uh, may have a few. The best place to start is in my queer history tag, which will contain the various books, topics, and questions that I have discussed over the years. There are many recs for all periods of premodern queer history, which is one of my chief academic specialties. If that is not sufficient for your purposes, DM me and I can email you my bespoke 10+ page bibliography on medieval and early modern queer history.

As for Leia, please enjoy this small snippet of feelings set after the end of Kenobi episode 4:

-------

If she's honest, Leia Organa still does not know for sure why any of this is happening.

It started so simply: running away from the palace on Alderaan, as she's done countless times and which she is usually indulged by doting nannies and droids, even though they have to give her a stern scolding for the sake of form. Her parents are also resignedly used to it, though Mother has started to make more noises about how this won't be tolerated as much when Leia is older and has real responsiblities. As for Senator Bail Organa -- well, he adores her, he always gives her a secret smile when he hears that she's shown up some interfering bureaucrat or officious minor relatives, and Leia would shrivel into dust if she ever really disappointed him. But still, that shouldn't have ended like this. She's been kidnapped, rescued, kidnapped again, fallen off a building, seized by strange people who really aren't polite, almost tortured, interrogated by the frightening Inquisitor Reva who told her that Ben was dead, and she almost believed it until he appeared and saved her again. Lifted her down from the rack, fought his way through endless hallways like a real Jedi with a real lightsaber, and has promised to take her home. Home.

They're sitting side by side on the transport, Lola safely tucked into her bag, the little droid's presence a familiar and comforting hum that Leia can feel at the edges of awareness, the way she can with everyone she knows well, or even those she's just met. She has never had a name for the strange things she can do, the way she can look into someone's eyes and know their entire history and their deepest fears, and Bail and Breha have warned her that it's not something to talk about with anyone outside the family. Leia isn't dumb, stupid -- she knows that the Empire hunts Jedi and anyone who might be attached to the Jedi in any way at all, and she's snuck away to the library at odd hours and called up all the holo-records she can get her hands on, either with her own clearance or by faking her father's. She isn't sure, not entirely. But she thinks it's called the Force.

Leia has never known how to feel about that, and even less so now. She's known from a young age that she is adopted; the Organas have always been honest about that. But they turn considerably more evasive when she asks who her birth parents are. One of them, she's deduced, must have been a Jedi somehow, or connected to the Force. That was why she thought Ben must be her real father, when she first met him. He was so concerned about her, but he's never met her, and he can do the things that the Jedi used to do. She saw him fight, the searing blue glow of his lightsaber, the way he kept battling off all those stormtroopers and tried to hold back an entire ocean for her sake. Who else could love her that way, but her father?

And yet, he's said he's not, and Leia can sense that that's the truth. It makes no sense, but maybe now is not the time for mysteries. He looks so tired and so sad, and he sits as if he's still in terrible pain. Inquisitor Reva told her that he burned to death, and maybe that part wasn't entirely a lie. Just then, Leia desperately wants to be a grownup, a full diplomat and not just a little girl playing at it, being trained for an important destiny that she doesn't fully understand. She can't think what else to do. So she reaches out and takes his hand.

Ben -- she's heard people, including Tala and Reva, call him Obi-Wan, but in her mind, that's who he is -- looks at her, startled. Leia's briefly afraid that she's done something wrong, since it's clear that he's been alone for so long and doesn't know how to accept the simplest of comforts, but then he takes hold of her small hand with his large, rough one and squeezes. They sit there like that for what feels like forever; it's hard to tell in hyperspace anyway, and it doesn't matter. Then he exhales raggedly and says, "Thank you, Leia."

She bobs her head awkwardly. She isn't sure what to say. He's the one who rescued her from an obviously terrible fate, and she still doesn't know why Reva and the rest of the Empire want her so badly. Yes, she's a princess of Alderaan, she's the daughter of an important Republic politician who the Emperor still doesn't trust -- but maybe there's something beyond that. She will understand that one day, Leia vows to herself fiercely. She will.

"Thank you, Ben," she says back, quietly. "For saving me."

"No." Obi-Wan Kenobi looks down at her, weary and gentle, an old broken-down man who loves her so much for reasons she can't fathom, and Leia doesn't care at all for why. "You saved me."

[noritoshiikamo]

Headcanons for the cursed womb siblings when they ship you and choso please 🌝 but choso is like a “job first, love later” kind of guy. He is responsible👏 He wants to support his siblings first👏 But they want nothing more than for their brother to have a lover.

modern au! office worker choso x reader no warning, just fluff. death painting brothers are normal humans, choso is just oblivious, reader is in love anywaysssss okay, i know it said headcanon but i went overboard and i cant help it anymore, choso brainrot tagging: @booksweet , @fushigurocockslut, @lazy10ieiri, @sassyeahhhh, @cotton-curse, @thevoidwriting, @dukinaxael

- job first, love later

you were the first girl choso ever brought home.

except it was by accident. your car had broken down in front of the office and you being typically you, had no idea what had happened to your shit car. “stupid, stupid!” you cursed, opening the front of your car, watching as puff of smoke escaped. you panicked, you never had anyone told you what to do with your car and such.

you were the only child in your family, your mother passed away when you were just a child and your father disappeared. you were sent away to a distance relative, the gojo where you grew up with satoru and his adoptive brother, megumi. but they are useless as a lump of coal. “y/n, are you okay?” you whipped up your head, wiping the dripping sweat off your worried head as you were greeting by a familiar face.

“oh, choso, thank god, do you know anything about car? i cant figure out why wont it start,” you cried clutching on his white sleeve before shrieking. you watched at your fingers left black smudges on his shirt, panicked overwhelmed you as you realised you just ruined the chance for help by ruining your savior’s shirt. but choso only laughed, brushing your panicked look aside and handed you his briefcase. “how long has it been like this?” he asked as he rolled his sleeves, you shrugged. “10 minutes? i think.”

“do you have any cloth i can use to check the coolant?” he asked. you nodded and headed to back, throwing the briefcase in the backseat. coming back with an old rag, you were surprise when choso grabbed your wrists. your face warmed up as he twisted and turned your hand, “did the steam hit your hand?” he asked, glancing up to your face. you shook your head and handed him the cloth. you watched as he did his thing, in 5 minutes he had the engine running and the temperature meter down.

“please, cho, let me sent you home. as a thank you!”

he smiled, “you don’t have too, i can take the subway.”

“i insisted!” you exclaimed, “plus i have your briefcase! aha, you need it so if you want it you have to let me drive you home. please?” you insisted, throwing a puppy face as you clutched both hands to your chest. he exhale heavily, before holding out his hand. your brow shot up in confusion, you placed your hand on his larger palm. you looked up to the older man, a small smile on his face. he was holding his laugh. “your car keys, y/n. lemme me drive you home at least,” he clarified, causing you to mentally slap yourself. the keys exchanged hands and you get in the passenger’s seat. he's a careful driver, he used the blinker and didn’t speed, you felt instantly safe under his care.

“do you live alone, choso?” you asked your coworker. he shook his head, “i live with my younger brothers, eso and chizu. our parents died a long time ago.”

“oh, same. my parents died a long time ago. i’m their only child. my uncle took me in, he’s like a brother to me,” you explained, reminded of your childhood growing up with satoru. he might not be an ideal father figure but he loves you like his own sister. the car slowed down in front of block A of some apartment. “you live here?” you asked glancing around. his apartment is definitely on the lower class scale, the building looks like it could be hundred years old with the chipped paint.

“yeah, i’ve been raising my brothers alone. money’s a bit tight, they are still studying,” he explained grabbing his case from the back. “thank you for helping me with my car,” you stopped him, placing your hand on his, “please let me replace your shirt. just tell me the brand and i’ll buy a new one, i’m so sorry.”

choso offered her a smile, waving his hand dismissively. “it’s okay, i can get the grease off easily. i should thank you for the ride instead. i owe you for that.”

“in that case, can i see your home?”

choso looked at you in amusement, his hand reached forward to ruffled your head, “you’re weird, y/n. but okay. a cup of tea won’t hurt.” he was sure that none of his siblings are home, parked the car and let you trailed him as you both entered the lift up to the 5th floor. you didn’t seemed to be bothered by the surrounding, the stray cats and the random pile of garbage, eyes only trained on his back as you trailed him. his house were around the corner of the stairs, further from the elevator with number 532 on the blue door. he pulled out his keys but the door was already opened.

“chizu won’t throw out the trash,” a shirtless guy with a mohawk greeted them, he was instead more surprised to see you hiding behind the man, “oh, who is this?”

“my coworker. she drove me home, i offered her some tea. i thought you two aren't home, clearly i was mistaken,” he mumbled, annoyed that his brothers were actually home. he turned to you who was looking away, he could see speckle of warmth on your face. "y/n, this is eso. eso, go be a decent human being and put on some shirt," choso ushered the man away before calling you in. you could see panic in his face when eso instead announced that choso was bring his girlfriend home to the other brother.

you couldn't help but to laugh.

-

you stood in front of door 532 ringing the door bell.

you could hear some yelling. someone was telling to get the door, someone yelled that they were busy in the bathroom and someone was angry in the kitchen. you felt conscious, maybe this was a bad time. you placed the paper bag on the floor and prayed you can make it to the stair but door opened. a voice greeted you.

"y/n?"

your steps halted. you turned around, flustered that you got caught. choso stood by the door, apron covering half of his bare body with a spatula in the other. "uh hi, i was just here to drop you something," you pointed to the bag on the floor, absolutely refusing to look up, why is he being so attractive in that stupid apron for, you cussed, "i'm sorry for disturbing your sunday, i'll go."

"is that y/n?" a voice in the background called.

choso looked back and nodding, "yup, it is her." you could see the desperate look on his face before another head popped out from the door. it was his younger brother chizu. he took a bite of the pancake, a wide smile on his face, "what's up, big sis?" the boy with the blue hair greeted her. you shrugged, pointing to the bag that's now in choso's hand. "i was just dropping something, i don't want to disturb your sunday," you shook your head but chizu insisted that you stay for breakfast.

"come on big sis, choso rarely bring any girl over, it actually is exciting to finally talk to someone who isn't as annoying as eso," chizu laced his arm around yours and dragged you through the door. you look at choso for help, the man could only shoot you a sympathetic smile before shutting the door. he followed you, leaning against the door frame of the kitchen as he watched you sat by the table. eso started filling your plate with fresh batch of pancakes while chizu started talking about this band he started to listen. you listened to it attentively, thanking eso for the syrup before he took a seat beside you.

choso took a peak of the paper bag, a small smile on his face when he realised there's a brand-new shirt in it with a sticky note on top of it. i'm sorry, hope this one fits you- the note said. he looked up to back to the table, you started to look like you belong there. the house has always been empty, it was just him and his brothers. you're just like a bouquet of fresh flowers sitting in a vase in the middle of the table; breath of fresh air to the kusozu family.

"pancakes, choso?"

your voice disturbed his thoughts. "tchh, choso, why you're looking at y/n-chan like that?" eso threw a spoon playfully at the older sibling as he walked to the table, "say, y/n, choso didn't do anything sexual to you or anything right? as your brother i'm worried," your eyes widened as you choked on your drink. chaos ensued in the house as choso threatened to murder the middle child, chizu could only sit back and enjoyed as you tried to calm him down while eso's obnoxious laugh echoed the small apartment.

"you better apologize, you broomhead or i'll murder you!"

eso stuck out his tongue, dodging the flying cup, "never!"

-

"i got something for chizu. would you mind giving it to him?"

you peaked your head in his office, waving another paperbag in hand. choso took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose, "you don't have to spoil my brothers, y/n. they are already a brat without you." you rolled your eyes and placed the bag on his pile of paperworks. "my younger brother, gumi- he knew the band's drummer, y'know the band he's been talking about and got a signed album for me. i'm not a fan so i figured chizu would've enjoyed it better than me." he peaked through the paper bag, a small smile on his face as he thanked you. you both sat in silence, you felt like you were disturbing the man so you excused yourself.

"y/n," your hand froze on the handle, "how can i pay up for everything nice you've done to us? i feel like it's unfair that you're doing all this nice things and i don't want to owe you anything." your turn and watched as the man walked close to you. choso looks handsome as usual, the blue tie matched his eyes while his slightly longer hair is slicked back. you recognized the shirt he's wearing, you bought it for him and it was nice of him to wear it to work.

"would like to go for a coffee with me?" you asked boldly.

"it's a date."

-

"it's not a date," choso sighed, combing his hair back.

"it is," eso crossed his arms on his chest, "she asked for a coffee and you said it's a date. bro, it is a date." the younger brother shook his head, motioned for him to part his hair. "slicked back make you look like you're going to office, yuck. if we wanna impressed big sis, you gotta look better than this."

"it's still not a date," choso protested, "it's just a coffee meet up."

the doorbell rang.

"yeah, it's not a date when you spend an hour worrying over your hair, cho," chizu ran to the front door, waiting at the door was you. you didn't have to go up and fetch him at the door, but you actually enjoyed meeting his brothers you didn't mind the hassle anymore. "damn, y/n, you dress better when you're not going to office," chizu complemented you. you could only shake your head, pocketing your hands in the plaid skirt that fell just at your knees, "i only dress up to important stuff, job sucks ass, i ain't spending my good outfits going to work," you kicked off your boots and walked in.

"you listen to that cho, at least she knew that this that is important!"

your eyes widened at his word and the younger brother dodged your fist easily. choso peaked through the door, a smile grew on his face when his eyes caught yours, "huh, i didn't realise we are going to colour coordinate," he said, stepping out. you realised that you both had accidentally matched each other's outfit, speckles of warmth spread all over your face when you noticed how it looks like. chizu, being the loose lip took the words right out of your head, "you both look like you're dating."

"we are not dating!" both of you exclaimed immediately only for eso and chizu to share a look.

"stop that," choso warned, disappearing into the kitchen, "tea, y/n?" you yelled a yes before following him. "don't mind them, they are being an idiot." you watched as he poured sugar in a cup with teabag, before putting the kettle on. "i don't mind," you shrugged it off, fidgeting nervously with the corner of your blouse. the comforting silence that engulfed both of you were short lived.

"oh, choso, i actually want to tell you that i like you!"

chizu's soft voice easily imitated your voice, something you took offended off. you turned around to see the two brothers perched on the kitchen hatch. "i do not sound like that!" you gasped. it was eso's turn, coming through with his rendition of choso.

"oh, y/n! i like you too, but i'm just dumbass and refuse to admit my feeling!"

"i will not hesitate to sent you back to mom and dad," choso warned.

"i also think that eso is way good looking that i am, but i'm scared that he will swoop you away from me," eso continued, at this point even you couldn't hold your laughter as you pressed your palm over your mouth. "what you laughing for, y/n?" choso's eyes narrowed as he glanced at you, huffing in annoyance. "hey! don't be mad at me for laughing, he did it well." you could see his own cheeks growing redder and redder with every mocking.

"go away, boys," you shushed them, walking to choso's side as he poured the hot water in the cup. resting against the counter, you thanked him when the cup exchanged hands, looking down on the swirling liquid that you didn't realise choso's fingers hooking under your chin, tilting your face up. all you realised was his soft lips against yours.

you are kissing your coworker in his kitchen.

"cho-" you whispered between the kiss but he hushed you, his hand now resting against your waist pulling your closer, deepening his kiss, "don't mind them." you tasted like your chapstick, his kiss was soft but it was enough to leave you breathless in his arms. you look in each other's eyes, a new realization to what had just happened had you both flustered.

"god, if our shit imitation would've finally made you both realise that you two dumbass like each other, we would've done this months ago," eso snickered. the two brothers had moved from the hatch to the table, heads resting on hands watching the new lovebird. "would you mind waiting for 5 minutes while i murder my brother? i promise it won't take long, then we'll continue with our date," choso asked quietly, brushing a stray hair off your cheek as you brought the mug to your lips, hiding the small smile behind the cup as you nodded. you watched amusingly, sipping on your tea as the two brothers ran around the small apartment, yelling profanities while chizu hugged you.

"welcome to the family, big sis."

you ruffled his blue hair, your cheeks hurt but you just couldn't stop smiling, "if it wasn't to you, i don't think i wouldn't even dare to speak my feelings. so, thank you. the voice acting was shit tho."

"you thank us, you hate us, geez, big sis, make up your mind," chizu teased you, winking as he brushed it off as a joke, "you help us a lot, i never seen choso so happy before. he worries a lot. about us, money. it was good sometimes to see him put himself first," chizu shrugged, cheek resting on your shoulder, "we survived before, we'll survive now. choso has nothing to worry about. you too, we are alright, okay?"

you nodded, resting your cheek on his head, heart overwhelmed with love for you newly found family, you felt belonged here.

[vibraniumwing]

wildest dreams.

a steve rogers x fem!reader wherein the reader falls in love with the super soldier who can’t seem to let go of the past. 

WARNING: angst, one-sided relationships, set four years after the snap. 

A/N: hello !!! this is the first marvel fic i’m posting and i am very nervous about it aha. i hope all of you would like it though !! i’m kind of back into the flow of things for writing (since im on a one week break from school) but im still trying to maneuver through it. this is inspired by wildest dreams; complementary tissues are here if needed.

word count: 3.7K.

---

Your attitude died the same day your little brother turned to dust in your arms four years ago. The fear and pain his face had was burned into the back of your mind, haunting you on a daily basis; his cries echoing in your head.

But things seemed to change when your aunt introduced you to the talks the remaining Avengers had weekly for the people who were still struggling with the sudden loss of their loved ones; seeing and meeting people who were going through the similar struggle as you helped a lot in coping with the eternal torture that you had. 

That’s when you met him; the man who held your heart in the palm of his hands. Steve Rogers. 

---

“How come you’ve only started going to these meetings after four years?” Kenzie, a girl who’s a few years younger than you asked, causing everyone in the meeting circle to look at you. Your eyes widened at the sudden question, feeling a slight tinge of pink creep up on your cheeks at the attention you’ve gained. 

You bit your lower lip as you contemplated whether or not to answer the question, “I- I had a hard time accepting my brother’s gone since he's my only family. I locked myself up for the last four years, rarely talking to anyone until my aunt forced me to get into these types of things and well now I go here whenever my days get really bad. I had to move on somehow.” You answered, tone laced with truthfulness, giving her a small smile. 

“Well we’re both glad and proud you’re here and that you’ve decided to move on from what happened.” Steve spoke up, making everyone look at him, including you. His blue eyes peering into yours, giving you a small nod which you reciprocated, the eye-contact causing the others words of agreement and encouragement to be drowned out. 

The rest of the meeting flew by as normal as the superhero continued to talk about how everyone should move on from what happened一  accompanied with the occasional stolen glances Steve gives you一 and soon enough, everyone was giving each other hugs and bidding their goodbyes until the next meeting.

You were grabbing your jacket when someone tapped your shoulder, looking back you saw the super soldier look at you with a somewhat nervous glint in his eyes, “You’re Y/N, right?” He asked, showing you a small grin as he pushed his hands inside of his pocket. 

“You have the right person, Mr. Rogers.” You answered, unsure of why he would suddenly come up to you.  It didn’t even take you a second to register the rather homey smell of laundry detergent and a hint of a manly perfume you couldn’t put a name on that he sported. 

“I’ve been seeing you a lot in these sessions一 I, I was wondering if you would like to go grab some dinner sometime?” He asked awkwardly, unsure of how to sentence the thoughts that were inside his mind. 

Your eyebrow quirked at the male who was normally eloquent and sure of his words, is now fumbling over how to ask you out for dinner but who were you to say no to such a rare opportune to spend some time with the male, “I… I would love to.” 

And that was the start of it all. 

--- 

At first he was worried about the situation the both of you had, fearing that you might be hated for once the word goes out to the public that you were dating him so you compromised, telling him that no one has to know what the both of you do; that it was okay for him to keep you as his secret, admitting that all of this gave you a thrill.

Until eight months later, Steve had finally said he had enough of hiding and offered to take you to the Avengers compound where he introduced you to the rest of the heroes who were working hard to keep everything intact after the tragic event that happened a little well-over four一almost five一 years ago.

“Steve, do you think they liked me?” You had asked him, eyes trained to the ground as the both of you walked around the Facility, hands tucked behind your back as the cool air of the setting sun wafted around the both of you. There was silence on his end before he spoke up, “Nat wouldn’t have choked on her drink at that joke you made if she didn’t.” 

You looked up at him, a hopeful smile adorning your lips, “So does that mean I’m accepted here, then?” It was kind of ridiculous to ask that question after hearing him just say that Natasha laughed at your joke, but all he did was nod and wrap his arm around your shoulder, pulling you in. 

“Even if they didn’t, they have no choice. You’re stuck with me.”

The mere memory made you smile as you drove into the facility, having the intention of surprising him with a gift you had made him; a painting of the first photo you two took together, at Time Square.

You and Steve were on another spontaneous road trip; he was free for the day and had asked you to accompany him to drive around New York and before you could even decline, he was already knocking at your apartment door, ready to pick you up. 

The day was filled with quiet laughter as you introduced him to newer music and those timeless masterpieces that he missed out on during his 70 year freeze. “I can’t believe you don’t listen to Queen! That band is a whole icon!” You called him out as you started to play Bohemian Rhapsody in the background. “I’m introducing you to the basics.” 

“Hey I don’t have as much free time as you, you know.” Steve said, stepping on the gas as you two finally entered the rather empty streets of Times Square. 

Your day was filled with laughs and banter as you continued to introduce him to newer songs, occasionally playing some older tunes that he could enjoy himself and talked about how his life was before he was dunked into the ice. “Must’ve been a real hard time for you to grasp on to everything suddenly being so modern.” You commented, looking up from your phone to give him a small smile. 

“Oh trust me, it gave me quite the shock waking up to see everything so… new and foreign. But I had to learn一adapt even to what happened.” He started off, slowing down the car for him to look up at the large skyscrapers. “I had to move on or else I would still be miserable until now.” He said, tongue clicking at the top of his mouth. 

The car came into a full stop making you look at him in confusion. “Why’d you stop the car?” But he didn’t answer, instead he got out and jogged around the car to open the door for you. You stepped out, brows still furrowed. “We didn’t have the luxury to take that many photos back in the day and I would regret it if I didn’t have one with you.” He said, rubbing the nape of his neck. 

Breaking out into a smile, you agreed almost instantly and pulled your phone out, quickly opening the camera. “This is a selfie, alright?” You said, not forgetting to tease him, earning you an eye roll from the male. “I’m not that outdated!” he retorted, pulling you into him as he motioned you to take the photo. 

You were snug in his arms as you put the phone up, “To more memories with you, Captain.” 

You were all smiles the moment you parked your car and grabbed the canvas from the trunk, heading inside the compound where Nat instructed you to go around when you bumped into Rhodey who was quick to recognize you, “Hey you’re Cap’s girl, right?” which made you shake your head hesitantly, causing the other to look at you with a bamboozled expression. “What do you mean ‘no’?” 

“Well, Steve hasn’t asked me out officially but that’ll change soon enough. I made him this gift and will actually ask him. A bit odd I know, but if neither of us would make a move then this would probably drag on.” You confessed, grinning at the soldier excitedly who now had an amazed expression on his face. “Alright then. He’s in the office with Romanoff so knock yourself out.”

You were nearing the office when you overheard the conversation between assassin and Steve. 

“So when are you officially going to ask Y/N out?” The female asked, making your heart race in anticipation and hope that he might actually ask you to be his soon. However, the quietness that followed made your excitement go down and your heart to drop to your stomach; the giddiness you were feeling was replaced with worry as negative thoughts started to infiltrate your mind. 

A sigh was finally heard from the other end, “Nat, I haven’t been completely honest with you. I… I don’t think I ever will.” The latter started off, heaving another sigh as a shuffle of feet was resonating through the quiet room. “It’s just… Y/N’s a great girl you know? I thought I could love her but she’s一 she’s not like Peggy.”

You could hear Nat scoff lightly, probably in disapproval, “Then why’d you lead her on like this? That’s an asshole move from you, Steve.” and you couldn’t agree more. Your mouth was held over your mouth as you tried your best not to make any sound, wanting to hear more from his side before you make your presence known; in foolish hopes that he might be able to move on and be with you instead. 

“I… I honestly don’t know how to bring it up to her. She seems so happy with me and I don’t have the heart to tell her I don’t like her the same way she does with me.” He answered, voice laced with regret and guilt that he made you believe in something that wasn’t even possible in the first place.

That’s when your dreams of being with him was shattered; the visions you had of being in a family with him and living the rest of your days together were turned into dust. You were aware of the history Steve had with the woman; how he met her before subsequently falling into the ice that would freeze him. He made you feel so loved and convinced you that what you were feeling was reciprocal to his but you were wrong. 

So damn wrong. 

Suddenly, the promises he made of being with you until time permits became a blur to you, those late night talks of imagining what could happen if he and the others were to save the world and him bringing back your younger brother seemed like a far-fetched dream which shattered you even more. 

So with every strong fiber that you had left within you, you re-emerged from your hiding spot and looked at the two heroes, Steve being the first one to see you, the color from his face drained. “Y/N I could expl一” 

“Save it. Delete my name from your contacts, Rogers. I’m sorry I was foolish enough to think you would like me.” You told him, walking over to where he was to give the painting you worked so hard on, shoving it into his hands and mustering up the courage to look at him again. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry I couldn’t be your best girl.” 

And then you ran, pretending not to hear him calling out for you; you ran all the way to the parking lot and by the time you could lean onto the door of your car, you were breathless and choking on the tears you fought hard to not spill but it was all too much. 

As you drove away, a part of you hoped he ran after you but you were foolish enough to even hope so because he never did.

---

You sat by the window of your brother’s room, looking out into the empty streets of Manhattan. After the incident with Steve, you were left to fend for yourself again and it left you feeling lonelier than ever. He never contacted you, not even once after everything the two of you have been through. It seems like you were just a memory that was easy for him to forget. 

Tears threatened to fall from your eyes once again when you heard something swoosh from the other side of the room. Snapping your head to the side, you could see something or someone form from dust and that’s when you realized it was your younger brother. 

Rising to your feet, you sprinted over to where he was, “Xavier?” You whispered, choking up on tears as your little brother’s doe eyes looked up at you in disbelief and fear. He was only five years old when he disappeared into nothing and it looks like he hasn’t aged even a day. His arms immediately sprung up to ask for your embrace to which you complied with. 

You scooped the toddler up in your arms and hugged him tightly, fearing he might disappear again. Then you heard it, the streets outside were filled with screams of confusion and terror as people started forming again one by one, chaos ensuing outside of your quiet home; but you were tranquil, because you knew Steve had kept his promise of giving you your brother back, of making everyone else return. 

---

It's been a good week since everyone has gone back, people still trying to process everything that has happened. Families were and still are reconnecting, businesses and government officials are trying to get a hold of things together. 

Your life was slowly going back to normal. Your little brother was back meaning the small house you live in is starting to be filled with joyous laughter again as the little tyke's energy was bursting at the seams. 

You and your aunt watched as Xav played with the teddy bear she got for him upon her visit, "Everything seems so much lighter with the little troublemaker around, isn't it?" She asked, glancing at you as she continued to knead the dough of the cookies she's making for you and your brother. 

"It definitely is. Suddenly this place feels like home aga—" Your sentence was cut in the middle when a loud knock came from your door making your brows furrow. 

"Oh were you expecting anyone?" Your aunt asked, you shook your head in response but before you could answer her your brother's voice resonated through the house. "I'll get it!" but what you expected next was the last thing you could have ever expected. 

“Y/N! It’s- It’s Captain America!” Xavier’s voice was a pitch higher due to his excitement upon seeing the superhero then his laughter soon followed. Your aunt gave you a surprised yet knowing look, motioning you to go to the door. “You better go and ask the man what he wants from you. I’m not listening to your excuses, go.” 

You knew better than to argue with the woman so you slowly made your way to the front door where you saw Steve who sported a few wounds to his face carrying your little brother, his smile wide as he answered questions the child asked. “I think Cap has had enough questions to answer, Xav. Go back inside.” You told him, much to the five year old’s dismay. 

“But Y/N! I haven’t asked一” “I’ll be back later to answer those okay? Go listen to your sister.” Steve was the one to answer now, setting Xavier down and patted his head. He gave the super-soldier a thumbs up and ran inside, giddily telling your aunt that he got carried by the blonde. 

The two of you stared at each other quietly, before you decided to speak up. “How about we go to the backyard and speak there, yeah?” You offered, making some room for him to enter the house, to which he agreed with, entering your humble home. Upon closing the door, you whispered a quiet “let’s go” to him and led him to the back of your house. 

You sat down by the lone tree that stood in the middle of your garden, patting down the space next to you. “So what brings you here?” You asked once he sat down, turning to the male with a small yet hesitant smile. 

“I’m returning the infinity stones tomorrow but before that I want to apologize.” Steve started off, looking into the distance as he couldn’t bring himself to look into your E/C orbs that he once found comfort in, fearing that it might be filled with hatred for him. “I’m not sure how much you heard that night but I have… no excuse for what I did to you. I thought I could love you, that I could move on but I guess I’m still stuck in the past.” He admitted, tone quiet and soft like the rustles of the leaves that hovered above the both of you. 

“I came to you because you reminded me of Peggy. It was selfish of me to even approach you with that intention in the first place but I can assure you that every moment we shared together is something that I cherish deeply. Even一 even the first kiss we had right under this tree right here.” He finished, a sad sigh following his sentence. 

It was a cool night and you were drifting off to sleep when you heard something tap the windows of your room, causing you to sit up and walk towards the source of the noise to see Steve gathering more rocks. Opening the window, “Steve? What on earth are you doing here?” You asked, amused at his antics that seemed too out of character even for him. 

“I came to see you! You aren’t going to the session tomorrow, right?” Steve said, motioning you to come down. His smile was big as the moon shined over him, defining his facial structure even more despite the darkness of the night. 

You shook your head in disbelief, you had told him that you weren’t going to attend this week due to the fact that it was supposed to be your brother’s tenth birthday today and you had every intention to celebrate for him. “Go to the back! I’ll meet you there.” You told him, motioning to the garden at the back of your childhood home. 

You quickly threw on a pair of pajama pants and headed down, grabbing a few snacks from the kitchen pantry before heading out to the backyard where you saw him sitting down by the tree and waved for you to come on over to him. 

You plopped down next to him and his arms were instantly around you, “How old is your brother by tomorrow?” He asked, squeezing you to him gently as he placed a gentle kiss to the top of your head. His familiar scent greets your senses, causing you to completely ease up in his touch. 

“Xav’s supposed to be ten tomorrow. I promised him I would take him to the beach for this tenth birthday so I have every intention of doing so even without him here.” You answered, the familiar feeling of sadness forming in your chest at the idea of spending another birthday without him; it was too painful for you. 

Comfortable silence then wrapped the both of you before he spoke up again, “I promise I’m getting your brother back. I don’t know how we can do that, but I promise you I will.” Determination was dripping through every word, making you look up at him as hopefulness filled your eyes. Your gaze met before you leaned in to connect your lips with his for a quick kiss. 

Realizing your actions, you looked at him in shock as a hand hovered over your lips. “Steve I’m so sorry” but you were quickly silenced when his plush tiers met yours for another kiss, this time longer and filled with more emotions. The both of you kissed until you had to break away due to the lack of oxygen, resting your forehead against his. 

“Don’t be sorry, Y/N.” 

You chuckled softly at the memory, a sad smile on your lips as you decided to speak up, “Did you ever regret meeting me, Steve?” You questioned, staring off into the distance as the feeling of defeat consumed you. There was a shift in his position as his hand cupped your cheek, making you look at him. 

His brows were furrowed as he shook his head, “No, I could never regret meeting you. The only regret I have is with myself. For making you love me when I couldn’t even love you back.”

You leaned into his touch as tears flowed down from your eyes, your sobs following as your heart broke more. There was no denying you had fallen for him, that you had fallen quite hard for him but you couldn’t keep him to yourself; not when he’s still in love with the woman he met decades ago. “Thank you for giving me a chance to love you.” You whispered, thankful for the time he spent with you; for making you feel like he was yours for even just a fleeting moment. 

No words left his mouth as he leaned in to give you another kiss. Unlike the many you’ve shared, this one was chaste and had guilt written all over it. “I have to go.” He then said, hugging you for the last time as he stood up. 

Your hand stopped him from going any further, he looked back down at you with a curious gaze. With the last strong thread that you had, you mustered up a big smile at him. "I hope you still remember me; us. Even if it's just in your wildest dreams." before letting him go. 

“I’ll always remember you, Y/N.” 

---

TAGLIST: will be fixed soon!

[xgryffinwhore]

mama i’m in love with a hitman

summary: two years with barry what could go wrong? oh yeah hes a murderer-

warnings: some angst, marriage proprosal oop-

you had originally begun acting because it was the only affordable option to get you some time away from your family. ya, you still lived with your family.

anyways, acting became kind of like a release for you. you had been going for about 4 months now, you loved everyone you worked with, they were such great people.

then one day, barry berkman showed up,

and basically changed your life.

the first day you saw him, your heart basically feel out of your ass. holy shit was this guy hot; tall, mysterious, and awkward as hell. perfect.

you took him under your wing, immediately engaging with him and bugging him about his person endeavors and whatnot. you two became inseparable, youre bascially the only reason he even uses his messaging app.

you showed him the ropes of LA, giving him tours of sketchy venues, shitty Chinese restaurants. you always felt so awful for him, dragging him around to every place.

"I'm sorry, barry, im just trying to give you the full LA experience"

"its ok, being seen with the prettiest girl in LA isnt so bad"

yeah, one thing led to another, and you had moved into barry's apartment a year after. your relationship was strong; you cuddle, argue, fuck, all of that modern day romance contraband.

everything was exceptional, other than the fact that he was dragging his feet on marrying you...

yeah, you had dropped some major hints. wedding magazines everywhere, leaving honeymoon deals up on the desktop, evening face timing your friend and talking obnoxiously loud about the idea of getting hitched.

tomorrow was your two year anniversary, and you two had been buzzing about it all week, all the lovey dovey language and such.

"babe, tomorrows the day" he squeezed your shoulders from behind you. you were sitting at the coffee table, and he had just served you toast. "i know old man, didnt think we'd last did ya?" "first of all, im only like four years older than you, second" he kissed you on your temple "i knew you were the one."

in the midst of sipping your coffee and passing back and forth news papers, barry’s phone begins to vibrate; the name “Fuches” catches your eye. who was fuches and why did barry have to step out of the room to answer it?

when he came back he looked ghostly, his complexion pale and his lips quivering slightly. “all ok?” you ask, trying to sound lowkey; “uh um- yep. just have to head out for a bit, they need me at work.”

he left abruptly after, grabbing a hat and his black coat. weird. it was the middle june.

you hadn’t heard from him all day, except for a text at lunch that said

barry: Won’t be home tonight, dont forget to lock up.

your heart sunk, the day before your two year. i mean really what was his damage? you didn’t realize how hard it was to fall asleep without him, you tossed and turned until you eventually caved in and called.

ring...... ring.....

ring..........ring......

‘hey! it’s barry berk-uh um block! leave a message if you want to i guess um ok bye howthefuck do i turnthisthing off-OHH!’

oh how you missed that dorky man, true, it had only been a few hours but his touch was your saving grace. the line beeped and you decided to leave him something

“aha hey bar, y/n here. beds cold without you. miss you. be safe.”

the night way cold and long, you were drifting to sleep. but you heard the front door jangle. you sleepily run down the hall way and run straight into barry. you hugged him, his bosy was stiff and he was trying to inch away from you. "bar!" you whined looking up at him, his nose was bloody and he had a black eye.

“bar?” you wiped his cupid’s bow, the sleepy haze quickly wearing off. he pushes past you “just fell, please just wait for me in bed.” by the time you caught up with him at the bathroom, the door was already shut.

you heard the shower turn on, and you could hear him faintly hiss in pain. he was in there for a while, by the time he got back you could hear the birds chirp, which means it must have been close to 5 am. the sun was still down, and you watch his dark figure slip into bed next you to.

“i love you.” he whispered

“i love you too.” you turned to face him, you knew something was up, you knew he had been hiding something.

“you always leave in the night, when i’m sleeping you always leave barry. is it another women?” barry’s face contorts into a confused scribble. “y/n what? you’re the only one.”

“then why don’t you tell me what you’re really up to. go’s we’ve been dating for two years and you can’t even tell me why you sneak away in the night?!”

barry grabs your hands and puts them close to his face “god y/n i’m sorry happy two years” he gushed and kisses your fingers. a tear trailed down his stubbly cheek. “there are just things i can’t tell you because i don’t want to lose you.”

this hurt you, barry knew all of your deepest secrets, the things you never told anyone other then him. all of this had you worked up, how could he speak to you this way the day of your two year mark? despite his protests, you packed a tooth brush and drove to your friends to stay the night. this was just too much for 3am, you needed space. to clear your head.

you didnt sleep at all that night, you nodded off from 8am to 10, your friend waking you up. "girl i know you dont want to hear this... but barry is outside, hes been parked here since 9" she threw your jeans at you "now go outside and work this shit out, im not prepared to deal with your heart boken ass."

so you put on jeans, and headed for disaster.

you came outside, 'sleepy always looks so good on her' barry thought to himself. you loved him so much, it was so hard to fight with him.

"listen bar, im sorry im just sensitive you know th-"

"y/n"

barry never interrupted you. for as long as you remember there has never once been a time where barry talked over you, or interrupted what you were saying. its something you loved about him, he always seemed so interested in what you had to say, he thought your words where so important.

"yes?"

he pulled a rolled up magazine out of his pack pocket, it was yours, it had faded circles on what cakes and dresses you wanted. he unrolled it and scurried to the 5th page. he pointed at the big raise ranch that you put exclamation points next to.

"this house, i want this house."

he went to the 8th page.

"and this car, we could have that if i stop going to wendys so much"

he giggled to himself and mumbled something about how he knows a guy that can re pair a cooling system.

'uh-um ok barry, what does this have to do with anything? house, car, is this what you drove over here to tell me? you want a better car? you need a bigger house."

he shook his head and trialed to the second page with that beautiful sheath wedding dress, you remembered that.

"youll wear this yeah? some time in the early fall. wouldnt that be nice, still warm, and the leaves-oh the leaves- orange and yellow bring out your eyes so i just figured."

he pulled out the rock, and shit, it didn’t disappoint. you’re not materialistic but what the FUCK?! how did he even afford that-

he slipped it on your finger and you both embraced. messy kisses all over whatever skin you two could find. it was bliss, it was happiness.

you hugged for a while. just sat there reflecting on how far you two had come, and how happy he was going to make you feel for the res rod your life. it’s crazy, you thought marriage wasn’t in the cards for you. but with barry, you can see 5 kids, a dog, and a stupid picket fence.

you were so captured in this moment, you didn’t notice barry’s demeanor change. you looked up and him, he was pale white, staring behind his shoulder at the street. you leaned over his forearm and saw a beat up mom car.

in it was a shaggy dude, didn’t look too much older then barry. he was plump in the face, and his face was aged.

“fuches!?” barry exclaimed.

“come on. we have a hit, i habe your sniper in the back. now.”

another WHAT?

[speechlessxx]

A Year (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Summary: Steve realizes he doesn’t belong in the past.

Warnings: I’m undoing Steve’s Endgame ending (I didn’t like it I’m sorry not sorry), hurt feelings, angst, also the Quantum Realm stuff is confusing so in this a week in the past is a year in present-day. Time travel is confusing.

Word Count: 3.3k 

Feedback is appreciated and I hope you enjoy!

“I think we need to quit while we’re ahead,” Steve told you. You were shocked. You opened your mouth to speak – to object – but you quickly shut it.

The team had just come back from the time heist. You stayed behind. Your older brother, Tony, told you it was a safety precaution. If anything looks out of the ordinary, you pull them all back. They were flashed away, and in a minute, they were back.

They all had grins on their faces, each team retrieved their designated stones. But Clint had a somber expression on his face as he fell to a knee. The thud had everyone’s head snapping to his direction as the cheery atmosphere quickly decimated. “Clint, where’s Nat?” Bruce asked his smile quickly fading. But Clint didn’t need to answer. Natasha’s absence made it clear. She was gone.

“Is this about Natasha?” You finally asked. Your head was spinning. He shook his head. You withdrew your hands from Steve’s and looked up at him with teary eyes. “Steve? Why?”

His jaw clenched as he looked away from you. He couldn’t look you in the eyes. “I… I think it’s better if we ended it, (Y/N).” His voice broke at the end as he choked back his own tears. He had a speech. He had it planned in his head. But it all went out the window when you stared up at him with those glossy eyes.

Steve thought you’d argue. You were good at arguing. You had a talent for it. He prepared himself for your outburst – in fact, he wanted you to yell at him. But you just nodded. “Goodbye, Steve,” you whispered before walking out the door and leaving the Avengers Compound – and Steve – for good. As soon as you were completely alone, your hand fell to your womb as you cried even harder.

Steve believed he was doing the right thing. In his and Tony’s separate mission to get the Tesseract and extra Pym Particles, he saw her. Peggy Carter, his first love, was mere feet away – a glass window stood between them. And Steve felt awful about the longing feeling that crept into his chest.

He had once imagined a future with Peggy. It was all ripped away from him when he nosedived into the ice.

He was thrust into a new, modern world. Boiled food items weren’t the only thing on the menu, the internet made everything accessible (not that he understood it all that much), gas prices were higher. He was displaced, but Steve adapted. He clung onto what he knew best – being a soldier.

He met you months after the first Avengers team up. Tony Stark’s little sister. You were all the Brainiac that your brother was but less arrogant (though you were just as snarky). Tony invited the team – though Thor was a bit preoccupied in the other worlds – back to New York for a charity gala. Steve saw you for the first time in a navy-blue gown with a sweetheart neckline. He eyed you for hours until Natasha accidentally (it was not) pushed him into you. His face had turned beet red as he profusely apologized. After that, you two spent the entire evening together and quickly became inseparable (much to Tony’s dismay, but he liked the idea of you with a good man… he’d never admit that though).

Everything he imagined he’d have with Peggy, he saw it with you. He had your future together so vividly outlined and painted in his mind. It was a true masterpiece.

But then he saw Peggy again. And it only felt right.

A year had passed since Tony’s death – a year since Natasha’s. A year since Steve took the stones and returned them. The plan was for him to return, too, but all that came back was a long letter attached to the shield. You were told that he returned to the past, but you knew what it meant. He returned to her. Bucky offered to give you the letter – “Steve’s farewell address” as Sam called it – but you refused. You didn’t need another goodbye. You told yourself if Steve was happy, then you’re happy.

-=+=-

But Steve wasn’t happy.

The first day he knocked on Peggy’s door and she opened it with a shocked expression. “Steve,” she gasped, wrapping her arms around him, “you came back.” They shared their long overdue dance, but something felt off. She didn’t fit in his arms the way you did. He felt as if he was jamming the wrong puzzle pieces together. But Steve told himself that he made his decision. He’d have to stick with it.

“I’m married, Steve,” Peggy admitted to him. “The dance is nice and all, but … you don’t belong here.” She shook his head at him. She looked deep into Steve’s eyes with a frown. “There’s someone else out there for you, but … it’s not me.” Peggy released herself from his arms and shut off the record player.

He spent a week in the past, keeping his head low. Peggy and her husband offered to let him stay with them for the time being. Steve didn’t know why he stayed in the past for as long as he did.

Perhaps he was looking for a reason to stay, but deep-down Steve knew. He didn’t want to return to the present knowing he had hurt you. He was wrong for doubting the love he had for you. When Peggy had told him there’s someone else out there for you, his mind instantly went to you and your teary eyes. The last time he saw you, you were crying because of him.

He just knew he had to right his wrongs.

-=+=-

“Nathaniel,” you said sternly as you tried to feed your baby his bottle. The pot on the stove started to release some smoke. “Bucky, little help?”

Bucky laughed as he took the infant from your arms, allowing you to refocus on cooking. “Okay, little man, you heard your mama… Say ahhh.” It took a few moments, but Nathaniel finally obliged and opened his mouth. Bucky fed him and then soon began to burp him.

“Oh, he’s so big!” A voice called out. “Look at you! (Y/N), he’s gonna be a future lady killer.” Sam emerged with gift bags in hand. Nathaniel grew excited upon seeing him. Sam cooed at the baby that rested in Bucky’s arms for a few moments before walking up to you. He gave you a friendly peck on the cheek and giving you a tight hug. “And Happy Birthday to you, (Y/N).”

Hours later, your guests started arriving at the Stark Tower. (Tony had left it to you as a parting gift after he and Pepper moved into their cabin. “It’s as much yours as it is mine,” Tony told you. “I mean we share the last name.”). The party was intimate. Your closest friends – the ones who’ve been with you every step of your pregnancy – were the only invitees.

You cooed at your baby in your arms. His eyelids grew heavy as he curled deeper into your arms. You smiled before putting him in his crib. You stared at him, admiring your creation, although your heart did ache. He looked so much like his father.

You grew teary eyed once again. You bit your lip to stop the sob. “C’mon, (Y/N), there are guests downstairs,” you told yourself. “Pull yourself together.”

“Hey, doll,” a soft voice whispered. You turned to meet Bucky’s soft eyes.

“Sorry,” you muttered, wiping away your tears. “Hormonal.”

“C’mere,” Bucky motioned for you and you walked over to him. He knew it was more than just hormones. He engulfed you in his arms, rocking you both side to side slightly.

After Steve’s departure, you and Bucky found solace in one another. Bucky thought it was an unlikely friendship – he did kill your parents after all. But you found comfort in the once super assassin despite his misdeeds to your family. (To you, it wasn’t Bucky who killed them). Although Bucky didn’t agree, you felt as if you were both tossed aside by the same man.

You didn’t even get the chance to tell Steve you were pregnant. You didn’t tell anyone. Bucky was the first person you told. You begged him to keep it to himself. You were hellbent on going through it alone, but Bucky was the one who rallied everyone behind you. Pepper, Sam, Clint, Bruce, Wanda – he made sure you weren’t alone.

After you gathered yourself, you returned to the small get together. You chatted amongst your guests for a while before Wanda excitedly clapped, “okay! Presents time!” Everyone took turns giving your gifts. You told them they didn’t need to, but everyone insisted.

“Best for last!” Bucky called out. He stood up from your side, sifting through the mess of wrapping paper to find his gift. “Aha!” He called out, triumphantly lifting a neatly wrapped box.

“Hello?” A voice called out from the elevator entrance. You felt the color drain from your face, instantly recognizing it. Everyone else frowned as they turned towards hallway and out emerged, Steven Grant Rogers.

“Steve?” Sam said in disbelief.

Bucky’s eyes glanced from you to his friend. You were shaken. It was as clear as day. You sat stiff and tense in middle of the couch, your wide eyes were trained to the floor and your jaw was so clenched he was afraid you’d break your teeth.

“What – it’s great to see you,” Pepper greeted, similarly shocked.

“Likewise,” Steve nodded. You felt your heart thudding against your sternum as your ears grew hot. “Everyone… It’s great to see you all.” He licked his lips nervously as he walked into the heart of the party, the living room. “Happy Birthday, (Y/N)…”

Attention quickly shifted to you. Your hands had clenched into fists and were shaking. Everyone knew what was coming. You had kept it all in for a year… It was bound to come out.

They were expecting rage, but all you said was a quiet, “get out.”

“(Y/N) – “ Steve began.

“GET THE FUCK OUT.” You finally snapped. Everyone winced. There was the rage they were waiting for. A year of bottling it all up had you finally exploding. You quickly stood up and stomped over to Steve. You grabbed his arms and began to pull him towards the elevators, but the super soldier didn’t budge. “Get the fuck out of my home, Steven.”

“(Y/N), please – “

“No! You don’t get to come back, Steve!” You screamed, your tears running down your face. “You left. Remember? You broke up with me and then you left. You went back to Margaret freaking Carter. My brother died saving the universe and you left!” You pointed at Bucky. “Remember him? Your pal, your buddy, your Bucky,” Steve winced at your harshness. “You fought so hard to get him back. You fought against my brother to save him. And you ditched him like you ditched me. I don’t want to know why you’re back. I don’t care. Get the fuck out of my home, Steve. You son of a – “Your anger quickly diminished as soon as you heard it. It was faint. The thick walls of the tower muffled it, but you heard it. “Oh, god, Nathaniel.” You rushed back up the stairs.

It was as if he had sensed your anger because he surely couldn’t have heard your yells through the walls. You took him in your arms as you began to coddle him, shushing and cooing at him to ease him. “I’m sorry, baby,” you whispered, tears still falling. “Mama’s sorry.”

Steve wanted to follow you. He was confused. Nathaniel? He took two steps before both Sam and Bucky stopped him. They shook their heads, silently telling him it wasn’t the best idea. “I – I …” Steve stuttered but nothing came out. “I’m sorry, Buck. Sam.” He finally said. “I’m sorry to all of you. I shouldn’t have left the way I did especially after Tony… I’m sorry Pepper.”

“I’ve made my peace with it,” Pepper smiled sadly.

“We all got over you leaving, eventually,” Sam said.

Bucky pointed up the stairs. “But she hasn’t…”

“Everything happened so fast, Steve… One minute you loved her, the next you told her you wanted to end things. Then, her brother dies. On top of everything, she was pregnant… She put on a brave face for us,” Bucky sighed. “She told herself she’d survive for her baby and that’s what she did… But man, she struggles daily…”

“She was pregnant?” Steve asked. Why didn’t you tell him?

“And you come back on her birthday of all days?” Sam scoffed.

“I have a kid?”

“No,” Bucky shook his head. “She has a son. You can’t waltz back in here after a year and have your old life back, Steve. It may have been – what a week? – for you, it’s been a year for us.”

“But I’m back… for good. I swear,” Steve said. “I… I don’t belong in the past. I never did. I belong here. I just want to talk to her.”

Sam and Bucky shared a look. Sam nodded but Bucky stayed still. He looked back at his oldest friend with a glum expression. “If she wants you out, you leave. Got it?”

“Buck – “

“I mean it. You weren’t here for a year, but I was. I was the one who held her when she broke down. I was the one who force fed her when she refused to eat. I was the one who got her out of bed. I was the one who was there when they delivered her baby. You weren’t there for her for a year.” Bucky snapped. “So, if she wants you out, you leave. No ifs, ands or buts. Got it?”

“I do,” Steve nodded. “I do.”

-=+=-

Steve wasn’t sure which room it was, but then he heard, “it’s okay, baby… Mama’s here.” He followed your voice to a dimly lit room – the only light was a crescent moon lamp that was hung on the wall. He leaned against the doorframe of the room, admiring the nursery.

The walls were painted a light, sky blue. There was a white wooden crib and a matching wooden shelf. (They were housewarming presents from Clint’s family). The room was very neat for a nursery. The toys were tucked away in crates and everything was organized.

He watched you as you bounced your baby. You softly whispered sweet nothings to his ear, lulling him to sleep. Steve felt a pang in his chest. It dawned on him that he missed a year of this. Soon, the baby was fast asleep, and you placed him back in the crib.

You stared at him again. You always did. An 18-hour labor brought you this miracle, so, of course, you would admire him. He was never fussy, never too difficult. (You liked to think karma gifted Nathaniel’s calm temperament to you because of all the shit you had to go through). He looked so much like Steve. Except your eyes. He got your eyes.

“Come look,” you whispered. You knew he was in the room. You could always feel when Steve was nearby. Steve detached himself from his position, eager to get a glimpse of your child.

“He’s beautiful,” Steve muttered in absolute awe.

“Nathaniel Anthony Stark,” you said, softly. “He was 8.6 pounds. 18-hour labor. Healthy pregnancy.”

“I’m glad.”

You sniffled but quickly wiped away your tears. “The pushing part, though… God, I hated you.” Steve frowned and glanced at you. You looked back at him. The same teary look you had given him when he broke up with you. “I never talked about you after you left, but when the labor pains kicked in, god,” you chuckled, “I cursed you out so much. I wish Bucky recorded it.”

Steve smiled a bit. “I’m glad he was there for you.”

“I think he felt responsible,” you shrugged. “His best friend knocked up his girlfriend, broke up with her, then chased an old flame.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve sighed. “Can we talk somewhere else?” You nodded and led him into the hallway.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” you said as soon as the door was shut. “I… I just saw you and the rage – I should’ve controlled myself.”

“I deserved it,” Steve assured you. “You deserved a decent explanation and I couldn’t give you that.”

“I didn’t give you much of a choice… I just left,” you shrugged. “But I know how you get. If you made up your mind, it’s a done deal. No use in arguing.”

“I was conflicted,” Steve admitted. “When Tony and I went back, I saw her, and I reminisced. I remembered everything I wanted with her…” Your face fell. “I went back with the intention of staying there.”

“I think I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want an explanation.”

“No, please,” Steve begged. “Please, (Y/N).” You bit your lip and sighed before nodding. “I made a mistake. I knew it when Peggy and I were dancing.”

You smiled at that. “You finally got your dance with her.” You remembered the story. You remembered how your heart broke for Steve when he first told you.

“I did,” Steve nodded. “But it didn’t feel right.” You frowned at that. “Peggy and I aren’t meant to be. I know that now. We don’t… we don’t fit. Her life went on without me. Time moved on. And I moved on, too… with you. I remembered a time when I wanted a future with Peggy, but I can’t envision it. Not anymore.

“But when I think of the future with you… I see a wraparound porch and a sweet home by the lake. I see Christmas trees decorated every year and Thanksgiving dinners. I see a ring around your finger – a simple diamond. You weren’t like Tony… you were never really into flashy things. I see a family,” he gestured towards the nursery. “I want all of that with you.”

“My life has been on a standstill ever since you left,” you confessed. “I can’t bring myself to move on. I couldn’t. I saw a future with you and only you. And then you were gone, I didn’t want a future anymore. But I had Nathaniel. I had to keep going if not for me, then for him.” You looked at Steve with those same teary eyes.

“You broke me, Steve. I can’t even explain how it felt. I woke up every day and I felt like I was in hell. I can’t… I can’t go through that again. I won’t.”

“Then, don’t…” Steve said. He reached for you and you let him hold you in his arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so incredibly sorry. Words can’t describe my regret. I swear to you, on my life, I will never abandon you again. I’m here for good. And I’ll never leave.”

“You shouldn’t promise that,” you shook your head. “Something will always – “

“You’re my present and you’re my future.” Steve promised. “You don’t have to forgive me yet, but I want to make it up to you and Nathaniel if you’ll let me?”

You looked at Steve before sighing. “Okay,” you nodded. “Okay, Steve.”

“I love you.” He blurted out. His eyes widened in realization. “You don’t have to say it back… Not yet. But, it’s the truth… I love you and I’ll love you until I die and even after then.” You smiled at him softly before nodding.

“Okay, Steve.”

You wanted to say it back. It only felt natural to do so. But you restrained yourself. You wanted to heal the relationship with Steve first.

(But soon enough, after several long months, and many of Steve’s I love you’s only to be met with an “Okay Steve”… You were able to return those three words).

[tortilla-of-courage]

Yeah, kind of insane that the Adoption AU started with a 3am Taco Bell run.

I do actually have a few one shots already written for this AU! There's the Taco Bell story, the time Sky got arrested, the time Twilight got shot, a funny story I wrote based on real events with Twi, Wars and Wind trying to cook, and something based on that one picture of the boys playing the floor is lava by cherypaii(? I think that's the url?). And I have a half finished fic about Lullaby reacting to Time's increase in kids I call "Lullaby reacts to Time's Batman-Level Adoption Bullshit", and a half finished fic introducing Wild's twin. So if anyone is interested in reading some of the fun bits for the AU, since I'm still writing for the plot part (although this conversation has given me inspiration and motivation to write the bit where they find Twi after he was kidnapped, so,) then I'd be happy to post them.

And since you mentioned hoping more info would magically appear, consider this magic.

Midna is a mafia princess, and her family immigrated to get away from it. Zant is her cousin, and his parents followed to make sure Midna's parents didn't embarrass the family. She briefly had to move away after the incident where Twi got shot, but she's back before the plot happens.

Twi and Time both have their face markings in this AU. Time had his tattooed on after the FD incident as a reminder of what he's capable of and what he's lost (considering this plot beat's connection to his family and the Order), for better or worse. Twilight was gifted his by Midna after he fought Zant to try and protect her and Dusk from Zant. The markings are traditional Twili tattoos, painted on with some kind of something that acts as a mix of tattoing and henna, and have to be earned. Twilight's represent courage, boldness and sacrifice.

Warriors has a whole plot I've done nothing with involving Cia being, well, creepy as all get out. Basically I read somewhere that a victim of abuse is more likely to end up in other abusive relationships when looking at how Warriors' bio parents being abusive would effect him and then I remembered Cia and decided to be mean to him.

The underground hospital that took care of Wild after the wreck is called the Shrine of Resurrection because I thought that was a cool way to connect that.

I had this stupid idea once that Midna writes purposefully terrible fanfic and a few people suspected she wrote 'My Immortal' for a while, and when she comes back everyone is like "The Chaos Corner guy's brother is dating the lady who wrote My Immortal???" and Midna decides to set the record straight by doing a small livestream on like, Instagram or something where she explains she's actually dating Dusk. She's reapplying Twi's markings as she says this, and is basically in his lap. Twilight spends the whole thing looking like he wants the floor to swallow him.

Rottla is informed by a therapist that she should try and do something since her kids don't feel safe (which, considering Time got stabbed in their living room, not feeling safe is understandable), and decides the best way to fix this is to teach them how to fight. Time and Lullaby are both black belts in several martial arts and can use most weapons well as a result. To Rottla's credit, this does actually work.

The sorority Warriors befriends is made up of the fairies I saved in his game. Because I love those fairies. They're my favorite part of his game. Also, Proxi is here.

Navi lives! She's rescued by the Order, like how the rest of Deku's kids were. She plays the role of a Great Fairy for the order. Her fairies are actually Warriors' sorority. And Tatl, actually.

Saria is a strong contender to become leader of the Order eventually.

Majora is here and I can't tell based on my outline if I have Time kill Majora or not. So, Time potentially kills a man.

Wind has a boat with an old radio connected to a lighthouse where an old man lives. This old man is Daphnese Nohanssen, but Wind always calls him Red. They talk a lot, and Daphnese is glad he has someone who will talk to him because he is very lonely.

Wild has a motorbike (Master Cycle) that it is honestly a miracle he hasn't wrecked yet. He breaks himself but never the bike. Wars has an older car that he's put some elbow grease in and you'd never know it wasn't new. Twilight has a beat up old pickup truck everyone is just waiting to die, but it hasn't yet. This is impressive, considering Twi does drag racing.

Also, Warriors has a tendency to get in fist fights, and between them and Legend (who is never arrested for the same thing twice), Time happens to be on a first name basis with most of the police in the city. The chief has his number on speed dial for when he needs to go pick up a kid.

Wild's friends are all alive and they love him. Flora is laser focused on helping him with his memory issues. And feeding him weird things. For science.

Wild's twin, Knight, is mute. He speaks in sign. He's also a bit blindsided by how chaotic the house is, but he fits in very well. They buy a roomba that Knight tapes a knife to and blames Wild.

At some point I'll write the fic where someone modifies a nerf gun and things escalate until Time shows up with one of those machine gun nerf guns hooked up to a car battery (a modification he did with help from Sheik and Ruto). Who needs depth perception who you can shoot 60 darts per second? It's chaos and when Malon gets back from a trip she takes this week she finds the house in disarray and a hockey puck in the wall. Clean up takes three days, and they are still finding nerf darts in weird places.

This is off the top of my head. I am certain I am missing something.

Forgive the weird formatting, I don't know what happened there.

-Attllhak

honestly i’d love if you ever posted any of the one shots you have already - and i think i saw one or two other people say they wanted to read the story too in the post where you explained most of the plot, so i’m not alone on this aha

Can i say i love how you somehow connected a lot of their games’ original details and made them make sense in a modern setting???? like it can be a hard thing to accomplish but with wat you just told us here it sounds like you did it amazingly and it makes me all the more excited to see what other connections there are!!! 

[lambden]

Here’s some belated Geraskier fic that I finally get to post, as last week’s flash fic challenge has wrapped up! This was originally published anonymously; kudos to those of you who guessed that I was the author. Head to the collection to see the picture prompt that inspired this, as well as view the other works. I've been having a great time participating in fandom events like this; I promise there's more on the way!!! (Read on AO3)

Up To Date

prompt: "You were so hot that when you asked if I was the blind date you were looking for, I lied and said yes. But then your actual date comes up to introduce themselves and I'm so embarrassed."

G, 2.3K words, modern AU, Geralt/Jaskier

It shouldn’t be this difficult to find inspiration. He never used to struggle like this in high school, finding his muse in everyone and everything. Even his mundane trip on the city bus to and from school would give Jaskier hundreds of ideas, for poems too personal to publish or lyrics too deep for his band to use. Back then he had thought he lacked discipline and experience, so the clear choice had been to take his interest in poetry one step further and go to university.

The problem, as he’s now discovering halfway through his second year, is that he maybe hates university. He loves it, of course; he loves the praise from his professors and peers, he loves learning about the history of literature and art. He even loves the academic rivalries that wax and wane every term, and the competitions that ignite a mean streak in him he didn’t know he had.

But his assignments are of worse quality than anything he’s ever written before, and try as he might, they aren’t getting any better. Putting words on the page just to meet a count is impossible for a poet, not when the space and thoughts and images are all supposed to be cohesive. Poems used to flow from him so freely he hadn’t been able to keep track and now his well of motivation has just about run dry.

That’s what led him here, for the third time this week. His creative dysfunction has forced him into the day-to-day habits of an elderly man who spends his days reading in public gardens. It hasn’t helped so far, but maybe this third time will be the charm. Jaskier finds his favorite place: right by the koi pond, next to a strange art installation with ivy crawling along it. He sits at the base of the giant question mark, dropping his backpack onto the bench beside him.

“This better fucking work,” mutters Jaskier to himself and the koi, opening today’s book to a random poem. He refuses to let his mind wander at first, gluing his eyes to the page and reading with intense intent. The first poem he sees is about love.

Groaning, Jaskier flips the page. The next poem is also about love.

The third poem is about war, and Jaskier thinks that might be alright, until he realizes what this long-dead poet is trying to tell him, which is that war is also about love. Because it is, of course, but also of course it is. Jaskier scowls deeply and flips through the book to a random page, hoping to find something to spark inspiration that won’t just make him feel hopeless and single and hopelessly single.

Before Jaskier can get through the title, someone speaks to him, startling him so badly he jumps. “Are you Yennefer’s friend?”

Jaskier scrambles to catch the book by its cover and nearly drops it. He hadn’t even heard anyone approach. “Sorry?”

The stranger audibly sighs, as if Jaskier has inconvenienced him terribly. With all the force of someone announcing their presence at their own death row, he grits out, “I’m here for a blind date she set up. With you.” Jaskier looks up at the man and sees him wearing a blank expression, pointing at the question mark in front of the bench. “By the thing.”

“Oh,” Jaskier says, still looking at the man. It takes a second for the words to sink in because the stranger is perhaps the most handsome person Jaskier has ever seen. He could write a thousand poems and still fail to capture his beauty. He has golden eyes, for one, and a sharply chiseled face. Even grimacing like this, his jaw is set in the loveliest way, and his stern brow is framed by platinum white hair, half-tied up. He’s wearing a fairly gloomy outfit for a blind date, but maybe he told whoever Yennefer is that he would be dressed in black. Regardless, he’s making it work.

The gorgeous stranger is still waiting for an answer, scowl worsening as Jaskier tries to make his decision about how the fuck to handle this. Really, there’s no decision at all— he just impulsively takes the leap. All his best ideas come when he’s stumbling forward blind anyway. “Yes,” he finally says, jumping to his feet. “Yes, um, I’m sorry, you caught me off-guard. I’m Jaskier.”

“Geralt.” They’re of a similar height, but Geralt is so much wider. Jaskier wants to climb him like ivy on a question mark. “I’m sorry I interrupted.”

“It’s fine! I got here a while ago. You know, can’t be too early!” Jaskier has never been early for anything in his life. He sits down again and shoves his books into his bag as quickly as he can. Geralt shifts his weight back and forth between his feet before awkwardly sitting on the bench next to Jaskier, looking out at the garden. “I’ve never done this kind of thing before,” he admits, which is true. His usual lies and schemes are much less chaotic.

Geralt doesn’t reply to that, leaving Jaskier to privately wonder about his dating life. He stares at the plants, giving the impression that he might be hideously nervous. Jaskier has no idea why someone like Geralt would be nervous about anything but it’s an awkward situation, to say the least. Right as Jaskier’s about to suggest they get out of here before Geralt’s real date shows up, the man asks, “What were you reading?”

“I was studying, sort of,” Jaskier says. “I’m a student.” Then abruptly he wonders how much Geralt knows about who he’s supposed to be, and he swallows, pulse racing.

Glancing over, Geralt’s yellow eyes meet his. There’s no obvious doubt there, just a curiosity. “What’s your major?”

“Poetry,” Jaskier grins as their conversation starts to pick up something resembling a rhythm. “What about you, are you in school?”

“No,” says Geralt, cutting his dreams of a normal date conversation short. “Are you any good? At writing poetry?”

What a weirdo. Jaskier’s heart thrums. “I’d like to think so!” This, at least, is something he knows how to talk about. Except, of course, it isn’t really the truth. “Well… recently, I’ve been in a bit of a creative rut. Just waiting for the right burst of inspiration to come along.” Perhaps this blind date that he’s stolen will suffice, but he doesn’t say that. “This place is great for that, actually. I mean, it hasn’t worked yet, but I’m sure any day those fish will sing for me.”

Geralt blinks. Jaskier feels a bead of sweat run down the back of his neck. He tries a different tactic, crossing his ankles and asking politely, “Are you a reader? What kind of things do you enjoy?”

“Nonfiction,” Geralt answers, slightly stilted. His gaze drifts over to the plants once more. “Not biographies, more like… encyclopedias and field journals. I like field journals.”

“Alright,” Jaskier says, shrinking into himself. This is going terribly. “I’ll have to go bribe some scientists for their field journals, then.” The corner of Geralt’s lip twitches, and Jaskier’s stomach flips. Gorgeous and weird and maybe, although he’s trying his best to hide it behind seven layers of nerves, maybe a little amused by Jaskier. Jaskier is going to fuck him right here in the garden. “Do you take journals of your own for work?”

A rather roundabout way of asking ‘what the fuck is it that you do’ but somehow, it lands. “I’m a… researcher,” Geralt mumbles. How very vague. “But I don’t publish my findings very often.”

Jaskier raises an eyebrow. “Do you work… for a company?”

“No.”

“Right. So you’re just keeping all your findings to yourself for no good reason at all.”

“No.”

“Then it sounds like you’re a pretty terrible researcher, actually.”

Geralt’s eyes flash as he turns to glare at Jaskier. “What?”

“Well, if you don’t share what you’ve found with anyone—”

“My… colleagues—”

“Aha! So you have colleagues!” Jaskier pokes Geralt’s side. “You aren’t just holed up in some depressing storage unit with months and months of research just for you.”

Once more, Geralt half-smirks. Not even half— more like a one-fifth smirk. “Years,” he admits.

“Years…” Jaskier tilts his head to the side thoughtfully. “Why do I have the feeling that you’re perhaps a significant number of years older than me?”

“I had the same thought when I saw you sitting here,” Geralt mumbles.

Jaskier snorts. “Seems like something Yennefer should have warned us about, perhaps. I would ask you directly how old you are, but I’m fairly certain that the only response I will get is a very gruff no.”

“No,” says Geralt, nearly smiling.

Making a show of pouting, Jaskier folds his arms over his chest. “Is that your favorite word?”

“No.” Geralt breaks into laughter as he repeats himself, and his whole face lights up with it. Jaskier laughs too, delighted by how joyous Geralt looks. He’s even more beautiful when he’s happy like this, and Jaskier wants very badly for this not to be their last date. “If I tell you my favorite word, you’re bound to judge me for it, as a poet.”

“As a poet, I swear not to mock you,” Jaskier raises his hand to cover his heart, barely restraining himself from grinning.

But before Geralt can share whatever it is, someone else approaches their bench. A second stranger— a woman about his height with short brown hair, wearing a pretty blouse. Jaskier notices her much more quickly than he’d noticed Geralt, and he makes the connection instantly. This can’t possibly end well.

“Oh, Yen wasn’t kidding,” says the stranger, eyeing Geralt. “You are very distinctive!”

Geralt stares back at her, slack-jawed for a moment. “What?”

“I’m Renfri,” Geralt’s date introduces herself. Jaskier wishes the earth would open up and swallow him whole, especially when she glances over at him. Her gaze slides back to Geralt, as does Jaskier’s, and yeah, he is very fucking distinctive with that white hair and those yellow eyes. Damn. “My friend Yennefer set us up for a blind date…?”

As Jaskier contemplates throwing himself into the koi pond, Geralt twists to stare at him. Jaskier can only imagine how mortified he must look right now; his face burns as both Renfri and Geralt look his way. Perhaps Renfri will figure it out before Geralt says anything; she looks like a smart woman.

But Geralt just gets up, dusting himself off and shaking his head. “No,” he tells Renfri, which would almost be funny if it weren’t the weirdest thing Jaskier has ever seen anyone do. Then Geralt leaves, turning to walk away from both of them, leaving Jaskier and Renfri alone together in the garden. Renfri frowns, watching him go with obvious increasing confusion. Jaskier also jumps to his feet, equally confused but determined not to lose sight of Geralt.

He chases the man— and it does feel like a chase, Geralt must be fucking speed-walking away— and finally tracks him down well outside the garden. Geralt is thundering down a set of stairs leading to a parking lot and he doesn’t stop at the sound of Jaskier careening towards him. Only when Jaskier desperately calls his name does he finally stop, slowing until he reaches the bottom landing and then standing there, still.

“I’m sorry,” Jaskier calls down the stairs, breathless. He begins to descend them but Geralt doesn’t turn around. “Fuck, you’re fast! Shit. I’m sorry, Geralt.”

Without looking his way, Geralt complains, so quietly that Jaskier nearly misses it, “Yennefer is going to kill me.”

“I would have fucked off,” Jaskier says quickly, hurrying down the rest of the steps until he gets to the bottom. Geralt still doesn’t look at him so Jaskier slides none-too-gracefully into his space, demanding his attention. He’s hardly red in the face or anything, but he looks embarrassed. Jaskier crumbles. “I’m sorry. I— seriously, I don’t care, I would have fucked off. I should’ve left, I should’ve— You should go back there, she’s beautiful!”

Geralt’s nostrils flare but he doesn’t look away. “Why did you lie,” he demands, flat.

“Well,” Jaskier deflates. “Um. You’re beautiful.”

“Hmm.”

“I really am sorry,” he offers.

Geralt, still watching him closely, says, “You don’t sound sorry.”

“What do you want me to do?” Jaskier throws his hands in the air, breaking away from Geralt’s stare— in the greenhouse, surrounded by bright lights and open, manmade nature, it had been easy to sit under the weight of Geralt’s eyes on him. Down here, at the end of a staircase and the entrance to a dark garage, chest still heaving, it feels too intimate. He puts some distance between them, sighing. “You want me to go back there and explain the whole situation to poor Renfri?”

When Jaskier finally turns around again, Geralt’s gaze hasn’t left him. “I want you to come have dinner with me instead,” he says, slowly but purposefully.

“Oh,” breathes Jaskier. “That’s— well, if you want that.”

“I already made a reservation for two. My name’s on the list.” Geralt is fidgeting with the end of his sleeve at first but when he approaches Jaskier he drops it, striding forward without hesitating. “Table for Geralt and one young brunet friend of Yennefer’s.”

Jaskier chokes on his own surprised laugh. “I don’t actually know Yennefer,” he needlessly explains.

“She’s going to hate you,” says Geralt, half-smirking, and then he adds, “Well, she’ll hate both of us now.”

They get to the restaurant twenty minutes late, Geralt’s hair mussed up and lips a bitten red and Jaskier wearing his backpack and a shit-eating grin. The host sees them and immediately tells them their table has been cancelled, and they end up getting terrible two-dollar slices from a hole-in-the-wall pizza place. They eat on the way back to Geralt’s car and then he drives Jaskier back to campus, kissing him soundly in the door to his apartment until Priscilla comes home and yells at Jaskier to get a room. As they squabble Geralt apologizes, polite and nervous, and kisses Jaskier’s cheek and tells him it was nice to meet him.

Jaskier goes inside and spends the next thirteen hours writing the best poetry he will ever write.

[dourpeep]

Oh no,,, you made me relate to a character that doesn’t even exist. Especially the people pleasing aspect,,, I get that on a personal level. Baby Ruby I want to give him a hug and ruffle his hair and tell him he’s appreciated and loved no matter what, he definitely needs to hear it. With how bitter he is, he probably didn’t have that good of an upbringing. Maybe he was just put with someone who did the bare minimum, like fed him and clothed him and gave him a home but never bonded with him? Maybe that’s why he’s so clingy because not many people show him affection? I get stray cat vibes, grumbly and mean when you first meet them but will soften up over time and will not leave you alone. Good thing I like cats ehe. And taking things at face value,,, aha, me too buddy, me too. It’s pain.

Oh my GOD I love that idea of Albedo getting confused when he sees a pic of the two of them he doesn’t remember taking. Family reunion!! Hm, maybe they were twins separated at birth? Would explain why they look extremely similar but not exactly the same. Ahhhhhh I need more Rubedo, he sounds like someone I would definitely get along with in person. We seem to be very similar yesyes. Ruby Rube hehe I love him -bunbun🐰

I won't lie, I feel the same. I see similarities in Rubedo and myself but it's more coincidence if anything!

I'll be leaving who raised him and stuff as a mystery since I have no idea--or perhaps Rhinedottir had Miss Alice take in Albedo so he could have more opportunity but kept Rubedo with her. Knowing that she's not a very warm, motherly person from Albedo's in game voicelines, it would work.

And yes! Definitely stray cat vibes. Very Scaramouche-esque in the sense that they both didn't really have the best circumstances and that is what shaped them to be like how they are now.

With the face value thing, he's learned that you shouldn't take advantage of what you have been given but also that you need to make your choices quickly. You never know what others will plan--so he takes what people say to heart. In a way, it's actually more naïve, but I think it's pretty fitting considering the in game lore.

But yes--the twins separated at birth thing with Rubedo being only a bit older.

It makes his whole situation hurt more, if you think of it. The fact that he and his brother started out the same--both only just children, both wanting to learn more about the world, both looking so alike. Neither had or have a true advantage.

But...things aren't always fair, nor are people, and with Rhinedottir, if she is more the type of person to be practical, to 'waste not, want not', then it'd sound about right for her to only allow one of the children to pursue more. OTL

Ahh man this is making me sad thinking about it.

But!! With the modern au, I do what I can to focus more on the present and future rather than linger on the past. We cannot do much to change what has already occurred, but we can do what we can to make the present and future just a little brighter.

Continuing on--

Albedo finding out, he won't say anything. Unless it's to you--but he doesn't want to cause alarm because if anyone was to understand Rubedo, it'd be him. Definitely would also try to find him and talk to him too because that's his brother the one he hasn't seen or had an opportunity to really know and he gets the feeling of loneliness. He sees Miss Alice and Klee as his family, but, it's not quite the same--if that makes sense?

I sense a heartfelt reunion nodnod