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stardustrebels · 3 days ago

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More of You- Chapter 9

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader WC: 6.6k Rating: E / 18+ MDNI Series Masterlist | Blog Masterlist Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tags: No outbreak!AU, fluff, romance, Joel-typical pet names (darlin’, sugar, sweetheart, baby), soft!Joel, fingering, protected PIV, no use of Y/N, minimal descriptions of reader. She has hair long enough to tie back, wears dresses and heels, blushes and wears makeup.

A/N: Who has two thumbs, was going to post this on Valentine’s day and then decided to re-write the entire thing at the last second? This guy! So apologies if you’ve been waiting for it, but it’s finally here and I so hope it was worth the wait! The slow part of the burn is officially over by the end of this chapter. Also, I’ll be honest with you, I’m a little blown away by the response to the Joel Miller one shot fics I posted pre- V day, and I’m so, so happy that people are enjoying them. It’s giving me the motivation to write more, challenge myself and take little steps outside my comfort zone. I’ve only been publishing my fanfic since December 2024, and I’m just so grateful to have been welcomed by such an amazing community of people who love these characters as much as I do. You’re all so wonderful and deserve all the love <3 Now, without further ado, I hope you enjoy!

The weather that morning earned an involuntary noise of disgust when you pulled back the curtains; big grey clouds and heavy rain. You dressed and shuffled through to the kitchen before the temptation to climb back in to bed won you over.

Your laptop was on the table, still open after a late night of playing catch-up on projects with deadlines looming, the backlog since your trip almost cleared. The only thing left in your diary for the week was a momentous client meeting scheduled for Friday morning. Seeing the calendar entry staring back at you from the screen made your stomach swoop.

It was the kind of opportunity you would have given your left arm for six months ago, when you had thrown all caution to the wind in a moment of madness and quit your job to become a freelancer, armed only with a handful of loyal clients and sheer, grief-ridden determination. The kind of opportunity that had stayed present in your mind’s eye when the late nights had started to become all too much but you still took on new work to add to your portfolio, desperate to scratch out a place for yourself amidst a horrendously competitive industry. If you were being honest, you knew that it was a better opportunity than you would have ever had with the firm you left in New York, and it felt like everything that you’d poured in to your career over the last ten or so years had led to this.

You exhaled, closing the laptop with a quiet click. No pressure.

The remaining few pieces of work could wait until the afternoon. Spending the last couple of mornings with Joel had thrown off your self-imposed work routine, forcing you to work later than you usually did, but you didn’t mind.

The buzz of your phone ringing knocked you out of any daydream you were about to have about Joel. Your stomach lurched at the thought of a call at such an unsocial hour, but you huffed a laugh when you checked the screen, panic dissipating as soon as you answered.

“Please tell me this is not you phoning before you go to bed,” you said, balancing the phone between your chin and shoulder while you reached up to pull a cereal box out of the cupboard.

Summer groaned down the phone at you. “I wish!”

Her usual bright voice was dulled with tiredness as she told you she was on her way to a job interview and had forgotten her coffee, and that it was now your job to keep her awake while she drove there. You couldn’t help but giggle at her uncharacteristic malaise as you pulled a bowl from the cabinet.

“You’re a different person this early in the morning, Summer,” you said, sniffing the milk before you poured it over your cereal. You switched your phone to speaker to save her the noise of up-close crunching.

“And you’re somehow happier this early in the morning than you are the rest of the time,” She retorted. You were glad she couldn’t see the burning blush on your face when you admitted that you were meeting Joel that morning, and that it might have been adding to your good mood. After she’d let out a squeal, Summer seemed a lot more awake, demanding all of the details. You told her between mouthfuls of cereal vague details about New York, about how you finally got his number, about your walk with him in the park, finding out about his kid, holding hands and then finally, that he’d kissed you.

“Oh, this is all so cute, I can’t handle it!” Summer squeaked.

“It is kinda cute,” you admitted, swiping through your phone to look at the picture of the invitation Joel had sent over the day before, accompanied by a message telling you he’d made a dinner reservation, signed off with a couple of x’s, which had made your stomach squiggly. “We’re going on a date tomorrow night. He’s taking me to dinner and then an art gallery opening.”

“Oh my god,” Summer said with a laugh, “And to think you needed a push to actually talk to this guy. You’re welcome, by the way.” “Yes, alright, thank you,” you said dryly, shaking your head as you scrolled back up through Joel’s messages, smiling fondly down at your screen. “He is pretty great, Summer. I’m just not-”

“You’re just not nothin’!” She said, cutting through a yawn, “You’re having a good time and that’s all that matters.”

“I think you just want to live vicariously through me,” you said with a grin.

“Obviously,” she said, “I need to know every detail about this date. I’m talking everything- what you wear, what he wears, what you order, how you stare at each other over a candlelit dinner, how he won’t be able to keep his hands off you, how you’re totally going to invite him back to your place afterwards and-”

“Jesus, Sum,” you muttered, pulling on your shoes, hoping she didn’t hear the excitement laced through your half-hearted rebuke.

“Oh come on,” she whined. “He’s taking you to see art. You can’t tell me that man doesn’t have you weak in the knees already.”

She wasn’t wrong.

As you’d fallen asleep last night it had struck you that no one had ever looked at you like Joel did- the deep admiration present in those beautiful brown eyes was so intense that it stole your breath and sent tingles down to your fingertips. Spending time with him filled you with a funny feeling- like someone had shaken a bee hive and shoved it right in your chest cavity- the relentless buzz only increased the closer you were to seeing him again. It wasn’t just your knees that were weak, but you weren’t going to admit that to anyone.

“You still there?”

You cleared your throat, “Yeah, I’m here. Listen, are you sure you should be focussing on my love life instead of your interview?”

“Rude,” Summer said, and you could practically feel the playful swat to the arm she’d have dished out had she been there in person. “But fine. I’ll have you know I’m here anyway, so you’re off the hook.”

“Good luck,” you said, glancing at the the clock on your stove. You needed to get moving if you wanted to get to Harrison’s on time. “Let me know how it goes.”

“Thanks, I will. And hey- have fun with your man today!”

“He’s not my man,” you said, knowing you’d lost that argument before you even spoke.

“Mhm. Keep telling yourself that.”

With a final knowing giggle, Summer hung up.

The lingering heat and morning rain had left everything damp and heavy, including you. By the time you made it to Harrison’s, Joel was already at your usual table, looking just as soaked- but unfairly good - his shirt clinging to his broad shoulders and damp curls sticking out at odd angles. He stood to greet you with a kiss to your cheek, murmuring his usual “hey, darlin’” before you settled across from him, still catching your breath.

You mentioned you wouldn’t be able to meet the next morning, and Joel’s concern sent a pang of guilt through you. You explained it was for an exciting work opportunity and his worry softened in to relief and then in to a proud grin as he listened, squeezing your hand in reassurance.

“Ain’t no way you won’t do great, sugar,” he said, thumb grazing over your knuckles. “Then we’ll have another reason to celebrate tomorrow night.”

You tried prying for details about your dinner plans, but he only smirked.“You’ve got enough goin’ on tomorrow. All you gotta do is give me your address and be ready for six, everythin’ else is taken care of.”

You woke up two hours before your alarm on Friday morning, powerless to do anything other than stare at the ceiling as you tried to breath through the churning in your stomach. By the time you could have easily drifted off again it was time to get up. Typical.

Joel had sent messages for you to wake up to, wishing you good luck and reiterating that he couldn’t wait to take you out that night. You glanced at them periodically as you got ready for your meeting, and each time you did a pleasant fuzziness washed over you, sending a warmth rolling through your limbs, a calming sensation that you wished you could bottle.

Before you parted ways the day before, it had seemed that Joel had been unable to take his hands off of you for more than a minute, like if he let you go you’d float off in to the ether and never be seen again. And you had welcomed it every time. Each touch from him left you needing more, like a craving you would never quite be able to satisfy. When he’d kissed you on that corner again he’d seemed more reluctant than ever to leave you behind, pressing gentle lingering kisses to your lips, one hand grasping your hip and the fingers of the other cupping the nape of your neck, his calloused fingertips bushing over your skin with a tenderness that sent a slow, searing heat pulsing through you- twisting at the base of your spine and down your legs. Every time you’d thought about it since, the memory of it morphed in to a sensation within you that was utterly sinful.

You wanted him to know the effect he had on you, what his touch and kisses did to you and what they made you want to do to him. Instead you settled for texting back ‘Thank you, handsome. Can’t wait to see you later xx’. You wondered if he could sense that it was the understatement of the century. You just had to make it through the next couple of hours, and then Joel would have your undivided attention for the rest of the day.

The client meeting turned out to be a different beast than you’d expected. Of course you had joined the call prepared to discuss your work, processes and newly developed ideas for their branding, but almost immediately after introductions had been made it started to feel much more like a job interview and less like the semi-informal chat that you had anticipated. Their questions were pointed and detailed and you scrambled internally for what felt like an age to meet the tone whilst trying to keep a light and friendly attitude. It took a hot minute, but you adjusted and adapted, slipping in to a corporate headspace easier than you thought you could, as if the ability had been lying dormant all these months.

As the meeting went on and you began to share your portfolio with them, explaining past briefs and projects, some of the tension in your shoulders dissipated and you realised that you were more than holding your own. By the time the call ended, the knot in your stomach had loosened and been replaced with something unfamiliar but not unpleasant. You would hear at some point that afternoon whether the client had chosen to work with you, and you closed your laptop with an air of finality, knowing that whatever the outcome, you had done your best.

You could finally let yourself get excited about your date with Joel.

You had picked out what to wear for that evening on the same day as he had asked you out, and it had hung on the back of your bedroom door ever since; a simple black dress with thin spaghetti straps and a tiny embroidered detail around the hem that came to sit mid-thigh. You’d had to fish a pair of heels out of one of the unpacked boxes in your closet, and it took you longer to find your jewellery than it did for you to do your hair and makeup. When you were finally ready and looked at yourself in the mirror, there was a curious difference to you that you couldn’t name.

Your phone pinged, pulling you from your thoughts and you checked it with hands that were only trembling a little. You had to read the email three or four times before the words sank in: you’d landed the client.

By the time your buzzer sounded that evening, you had practically paced a hole in the floor. Joel arrived just before six, and you threw open the door to him as soon as he knocked.

The sight in front of you made your brain short-circuit for a beat before you remembered to smile. Joel didn’t seem to notice because it looked like he was having the same experience. He’d traded his usual worn flannel and faded denim for a smart tailored jacket atop a button down, dark wash jeans and shiny leather boots. His curls were pushed back, tamed and slick. You knew he cleaned up well, but you hadn’t expected this. He was clutching a bouquet of white roses and you saw the way his fingers gripped them tighter as his eyes fell over you.

You broke the silence first. “Looking sharp, Miller!”

He found his composure just long enough to chuckle and hold out a hand to gesture toward you. “And you-” he struggled for a moment to complete the sentence, shaking his head with wide eyes. “You look so beautiful, sweetheart.”

You stepped closer, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, but even the briefest touch caused the cascade of a molten desire from your chest to the pit of your stomach. His breath hitched-just barely- but you felt it. The scent of his cologne, sweet and woodsy, hit you and made it difficult not to linger against him even longer in the hope that it might transfer on to your skin so you could smell him even when he wasn’t near you. When you pulled back, his fingers brushed over yours as he handed you the bouquet. You thanked him, voice softer now, invited him in and turned toward the kitchen to find a vase, acutely aware of the weight of his gaze following you.

As you arranged the roses you were struck with the realisation that Joel was the only person who’d stepped foot in your apartment that wasn’t you. You bit your lip as you watched him look around from your spot in the kitchen, a lopsided grin on his face as he took in your space with quiet consideration. You’d cleaned before he’d arrived so that it looked its best, but having someone else there, examining the artwork on the walls and the trinkets on your shelves pried open a sliver of vulnerability you hadn’t expected.

“I like your place.” Joel said, stepping toward you again, having done a reasonably thorough tour of the living space in a couple of strides.

You grinned up at him, placing the filled vase in the center of your kitchen table. “Thanks. It’s cozy, but it’s home.”

He tapped his knuckle against a small photo booth strip pinned near the corner of your fridge. “That your friend from the coffee shop?”��

You glanced over at it- you and Summer from her birthday party- her grinning wide, you mid-laugh, heads tipped toward each other. “Yeah, that’s Summer.”

Joel hummed, mouth twitching in to a grin as he leaned against the counter. “You know the day she was there I’d finally worked up the nerve to talk to you,” he said, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Had it all planned out: was gonna come over and ask you somethin’ corny and lame. Right as I was about to…” he gestured toward the photo with a coy smile.

You laughed, shaking your head. “If it makes you feel any better, she spent the next ten minutes before you left that day trying to get me to go over and talk to you. She’s very invested in the development of the time we’ve been spending together.”

Joel’s eyebrows lifted at that. “Oh yeah?”

You caught yourself and a heat crept up the back of your neck. “Don’t we have a dinner reservation to make?” You said, plucking your bag from the back of a chair and heading for the door.

Joel stepped ahead of you to open the door to his truck for you to climb in. Being in a space that was so uniquely his felt more intimate than it should have. The truck suited him- an older model Chevy, immaculately kept. The interior was spotless save for a pack of gum and a couple of coins in the center console and it smelled like fresh linen. You absently wondered if he cleaned it especially for you or if it always looked like this.

When Joel climbed in a moment later and you asked him where you were headed to, he only winked at you. Laughter bubbled up in your chest before you could help it, and he set off looking rather pleased with himself.

The restaurant wasn’t far, and as soon as Joel pulled up outside, you realised you knew about it through a recommendation from Summer. It was nice. You grinned at him as he rounded the front of the truck to open the door for you again. His hand came to rest at the small of your back and the weight of it sent a lick of fire curling up your spine. You resisted the urge to fidget as you were shown to your table, loathe to lose the warmth seeping through the fabric of your dress from Joel’s palm.

As you waited for your food, you considered that you didn’t think you’d ever met someone as outwardly comforting as Joel- his presence was like a warm hug, even from across the table and he didn’t even seem aware of it. You were enjoying the opportunity to openly admire him. His resting facial expression leaned toward a frown, you’d learned. It accounted for the deep lines that appeared, etched in to his brow easily as he talked, an expression that was clearly familiar to his face. It was his eyes that really spoke to his true personality- warm and open when he looked at you, young and boyish when they glinted mischievously as they were now. You were drawn to it- the paradox of this man. You came to the conclusion that he’d probably spent years curating a stand-offish reputation, but had failed to realise that his aura couldn’t be altered.

The candlelight added hazy flickers of light across you both. It glimmered in Joel’s eyes as he listened to you tell him about the outcome of the client meeting that morning, your own joy reflected back at you by him- the beauty of it made the world slow and allowed you to really take in the sight of him, like a memory you were aware was being stored, a saved snippet of time that you already knew would be something fond to look back on. When he raised his glass to toast your success, it broke the magic of the moment, but you didn’t have a second to mourn it. The clink of the glasses was soft, but the look Joel gave you after, over his glass, held an intensity that made it hard to keep your eyes on his, the low light now accentuating a hunger within them that made your pulse spike.

For a second, you wondered if you could end the night right there, drag him back to your apartment and lose yourself in the heat curling against your insides when he looked at you like that. You pressed your thighs together and shifted in your seat, eyes unable to hold his gaze any longer. He cleared his throat and when you looked back at him, any hint of the hunger had been masked by sweetness again.

Dinner was over in the blink of an eye. The food was tasty, although you barely noticed what you were even eating- too focussed on Joel, searching his face for any sign of the hint of lust you’d seen from him before, but it didn’t show again. He insisted on settling the bill after a short not-quite-argument with you about splitting it. “My treat, sugar,” he’d said in a tone that made it obvious you were never going to change his mind.

The gallery wasn’t far, but Joel insisted on driving there to save you walking in your heels, and his consideration for you made the heat building inside you whip around like a wild thing, impossible to ignore.

The sun was beginning to set, and it bathed everything in a lovely orange glow that was doing nothing to dispel the dreamlike haze that had settled over your evening. You turned your face toward it and basked in its warmth while Joel drove the few blocks to the gallery.

The entrance was marked by red velvet ropes and a matching carpet that stretched up to tall glass doors, and Joel’s hand tensed in yours as you approached them.

“You alright?” You asked, stopping him with a gentle tug when he didn’t reply, eyes searching his for an answer.

His gaze flicked past you and over the well-dressed guests milling around the entrance. “I’m just- this ain’t exactly my scene.”

You squeezed his hand and offered him a lopsided grin. “Just look serious and nod, remember?”

He gave you a sidelong glance and a smirk. “That’s… what I usually do anyway.”

“Then you’re already a natural,” you teased, brushing your thumb over his knuckles and leading him toward the door.

The hum of conversation inside overlapped and bounced off the modern concrete interior in a way that was mildly overwhelming. You were greeted by a well-dressed man at a makeshift reception desk, who exchanged Joel’s invitation for a gallery guide, which was immediately passed over to you. You let go of his hand to flick through it, happily soaking up the atmosphere as you suggested what to look at first.

You led Joel through the crowd at the entrance to find a quieter spot. The art you passed to get there was stunning, and you made a note to come back and look at those later. You ambled around a smaller gallery and Joel’s eyes flicked over each piece as you read mumbled excerpts from the guide aloud and added your own thoughts. You weren’t quite sure if the furrow of his brow was deliberate or not.

“You okay if I get us a drink?” He murmured, resting a hand against your back as he leaned in.

You gave him a reassuring smile and a nod, “Yeah, go ahead. I’ll be here.”

You watched as he disappeared toward the bar, briefly admiring the fit of his jeans before you turned back to the artwork, allowing yourself the opportunity now to fully take it in. The contemporary pieces that lined the walls were bold and chaotic, all by the same artist. One particular piece caught your attention: a canvas streaked with jagged lines of charcoal against an expanse of pale grey. In the corner there was one tiny circle of orange, painted to look as if it was burning white hot, its rings of light radiating and mixing with the drab background. You took a step closer and tilted your head to examine it. The sensation that it pulled from you was not unlike a sense of hope.

You startled, breath catching when a hand clutching a champagne flute appeared in front of you and let out a breathy laugh when you realised it was Joel standing behind you. You took the glass from him and he leaned in close over your shoulder.

“Fascinating use of negative space.” He said, agonisingly close to your ear. You exhaled loudly what you hoped sounded like a laugh and not a barely contained moan.

Your eyelids fluttered shut briefly as you leaned in to him. His hand gripped your waist in response and held you steady, body pressing against yours in a way that stole the air from your lungs. Certain that he was about to pepper experimentally bold kisses against your neck, you shifted under his touch in a silent invitation.

The titter of polite laughter echoing from across the gallery interrupted the moment and brought you both back to your senses. Joel moved to stand by your side, but his hand stayed firmly on your waist as you continued your tour of the artwork. You glanced up at him and caught the tick of his jaw before he managed to hide it with a smile.

You made it to the third room before Joel was intercepted by someone he knew. You were introduced to the project management team that oversaw the work undertaken by Joel’s firm, and didn’t miss the way his fingers flexed by his side when one of the team paid you a compliment and leaned in to peck a kiss against your cheek, totally ignoring the hand you’d offered him to shake and leaving you with nothing left to do but meet him in an awkward half-hug. As soon as he’d stepped away, you inched closer to Joel as the conversation moved on, leaning against him gratefully when his hand found the small of your back again.

The team introduced you both to some of the artists and soon enough you were separated, pulled in to different conversations until you were at opposite ends of the room, sparing glances through the crowd until you lost sight of each other completely.

Taking advantage of a lull in conversation with a very enthusiastic art collector, you managed to pull away and head back to the first gallery you’d entered. You’d long-since lost your guidebook and your glass of wine, placed down on a cocktail table and left behind at some point over the course of your conversations, but you knew you wanted to look at one piece again before you started your search for Joel.

You crossed your arms this time as you viewed it, standing closer and then further away, eyes fixed on the tiny orange glow in the bottom corner. It’d be easy to miss if you weren’t examining the piece, lost in the void of grey and black jagged lines. You only realised when you changed your viewing angle, that they were formed with paint into raised craggy bumps. You bent down to inspect the glowing orange dot and realised that the burning white centre of it was actually a hole in the canvas, made deliberately and then worked around. You stood and walked back to the middle to view it in its entirety one last time before you moved on, but you were interrupted by the sound of soft footsteps walking toward you. You glanced round to see Joel, watching you with a tilt to his head and a grin on his face.

“Hey, darlin’. You alright?”

You nodded and reached for his hand when he was close enough.

“I think this one is my favourite,” you murmured. You leaned your head against his shoulder as you both viewed it. Joel stood quietly beside you, frowning at the painting as if he was really looking this time. He let out a low hum as he traced circles against the back of your hand.

“I think it suits you,” he said, voice rumbling through the top of your head.

You turned to glance up at him. “Oh yeah? How come?”

Joel fixed you with a look that was so warm you almost melted. “‘Cause you’re a little ray of sunshine, darlin’. You’re as bright as that dot there, and you don’t even seem to realise it.”

There wasn’t even time to take a breath before your lips were on his. He froze for a second before he exhaled sharply through his nose and kissed you back, smiling against your mouth. It drove you wild. You had never wanted anyone as much as you wanted him right now.

Cradling his face with both hands, you pulled back just enough to mumble, “You wanna get out of here, handsome?”

You don’t remember if Joel even said anything before you were walking out the door and back toward his truck.

By the time you made it back to your apartment, nothing could have stopped what was in motion. Joel had hardly taken his hands off of you since you left the gallery, apparently intent on driving you absolutely feral. He was starting to learn what types of touches affected you the most and was using his newfound knowledge to be an absolute menace. You’d barely made it in the door before his mouth was on yours again. His hands were everywhere, pressing you against him like he was starved and you were the only thing that would sate him. You pushed his jacket from his shoulders and started to fumble with the buttons on his shirt as his fingers mapped out your curves, like he was hell-bent on memorising every inch of you.

You pushed against him, gently guiding him backwards to your bedroom door and he let you take the lead. You kicked off your shoes, discarding them as your fingers twisted in the fabric of his shirt, unwilling to let go of him for even a second. Your breathing quickened as the heat between you grew unbearable.

Joel backed up step by step until the back of his knees hit the edge of your bed. He paused, your face between his hands, his breathing matching pace with yours. When he spoke his voice was low, thick with restraint.

“You sure, darlin’?”

“Fuck yeah,” you breathed. “I’m sure.”

He lowered himself back on to the mattress with a grunt and his palms slid up your thighs instinctively as you climbed on to his lap. He began to press his kisses along the curve of your collarbone and up the column of your neck, dragging breathy gasps from you with each one.

His breath was hot, ghosting your neck as he murmured against your skin. “Wanted to do this all goddamn night.”

You barely managed to whine in response before his mouth was back on you, kissing over your jaw toward your lips. A shudder rolled through you and you rocked your hips, desperate for friction. He groaned against you and the sound poured gasoline on the fire that he had stoked since you left the gallery.

You wanted more. You needed more.

Your fingers rose to the zipper at the side of your dress and tugged it down. Joel’s hands stilled and his chest rose and fell with measured breaths, jaw tensing as you lifted the dress off over your head and unclasped your bra before throwing both pieces of clothing haphazardly across the room.

“Jesus,” he muttered, fingers twitching against your thighs as he drank you in.

You smiled, emboldened by his reaction and shifted your hips just enough to pull a groan from him when he didn’t move.

“You gonna just stare, Miller?”

Joel blinked twice before his lips parted with a groan. Your goading snapped him in to action and he flipped your positions in a blur of limbs, pressing you down in to the mattress with a kiss.

He stood and pulled his wallet from the pocket of his jeans, throwing it on to the edge of the bed. You watched him, biting your lip as he shrugged off his shirt, unbuckled his belt and pulled off his jeans and boxers, his hard length springing back up to hit the skin of his stomach. He knelt at the edge of the bed and traced his hands up your legs, ghosted past your thighs and curled his fingers round the waistband of your underwear, sliding them down with a reverence that made you whine.

He positioned himself back on top of you, retracing the movement with his fingers, inching toward your centre with maddening, teasing touches.

Your hands flailed around you for purchase in the sheets and your hips bucked up toward his hand. You whimpered- a plea for him to move his fingers where you wanted them most.

“It’s alright, darlin’,” he drawled, “You’ll get what you need.”

A moan broke from your throat with a jolt when he finally brushed his fingers gently through your folds.

He caught your lips in a kiss as he stroked up again and again, pressing featherlight touches to your clit with every one. A familiar tightness began to coil within you and your breaths quickened. Joel hummed in approval and brushed against your clit one last time before his fingers parted your folds and slid in to you. He curled them experimentally, pulling back to watch your face as he did.

“So fuckin’ beautiful,” he murmured, his eyes blown with lust as he took in your changing expressions at the pleasure building inside you. You clenched down and he pressed steadily against the same point with his fingers curled inside you. You were so close, and Joel knew it.

“Come on, baby,” he said, voice absolutely wrecked, “I’ve got you, come f’me.”

It was all it took to push you over the edge. Your release surged through you so fiercely that your entire body tensed before the flame curling against your spine sparked and sent molten hot tingles through your core and in to your limbs. A sharp gasp tore from your lips, followed by loud, unrestrained moans as you came undone for him. Your back arched as Joel continued, his fingers unrelenting as he guided you through every pulsing aftershock. You realised that he was speaking as your breaths returned to normal, murmuring praise against your temple, the sound his voice mingling with the thrum of your heartbeat.

You let out a soft groan as he traced slow circles over your clit with his thumb, stretching out the rolling pleasure of your orgasm until every last shuddering, breathless moan had been drawn from you. He finally slipped his fingers from you with one last pulse from your oversensitive nerves, and you whined in protest at the loss.

“You alright, darlin’?,” he asked, brushing his fingertips along your thigh. You offered him a hum in response, too dazed to string words together.

He smiled down at you, fingers tracing up your arm and along your collarbone before dancing light touches toward your nipple and you arched up in to his strokes with a breathy moan.

He shifted to kiss you, pressing his body against yours. His cock sat hard and heavy against your thigh and when you shifted against him he let out a sound so raw it made your stomach flip. You reached down, wrapping your fingers gently around his length.

“Fuck,” he gritted out, hips bucking in to your hand.

You stroked him slowly, and he tensed under your touch, flexing his hands against your hips with trembling fingers.

Joel reached for your wrist with a breathy chuckle, stilling your movements. “You keep that up, darlin’, and this’ll be over before we even get started.”

He pulled back to reach for his wallet and slid a condom from it. Mirroring your knowing smile with one of his own, he rolled it on with ease, and positioned himself at your entrance, waiting for a signal from you before going any further. You arched your body toward his in anticipation and after letting out a long, shaky breath. he slid in to you. Your moans mingled together as he filled you completely. Your nails dug in to his shoulders as the overwhelming fulness sparked a fresh flicker of heat low in your stomach.

“Christ, baby,” he murmured, shuddering above you. “You feel so fuckin’ good.”

You couldn’t muster the breath to respond, lost in the way he fit against you. Instead, you rolled your hips, coaxing a strangled moan from him.

That was all it took.

With a deep, throaty sound, Joel pulled back and thrust in to you again, dragging gasped moans from you with every grind of his hips. Slow and deep, he managed to hit a point within you with every thrust that sent white hot sparks flying through you. His breath came in uneven pants against your skin as he pressed closer, forearms braced on either side of your head.

“God, you’re so perfect. So fuckin’ perfect,” he growled, sliding a hand to the back of your head, threading his fingers through your hair and pressing his forehead to yours with care that would have made you sob had you been able to focus on anything. Each slow roll of his hips made you quiver, nudging you to the edge with every measured stroke. Joel hissed through gritted teeth at the sensation, his fingers tightening their grip in your hair.

“That’s my girl. That’s it, c’mon- let me feel it.”

His girl.

The words caused aching pleasure to crest over you like a tide, warm and all-consuming. You clung to him as it crashed against your core, almost taking everything inside you with it. The cry that broke from your throat was muffled by a high pitched ringing in your ears and for a second all you could see were bright white flashes, strobing over your vision so intensely you had to close your eyes against them.

You heard Joel’s groan, giving way to a string of hissed curses as he felt you tighten around him, his movements stuttering. He let out a choked cry as he dropped his head to your shoulder, the last of his control unravelling. His thrusts grew erratic and with a final shuddering breath, he followed you over the edge, his grip on you tightening as he let himself fall.

For a moment, neither of you moved. You didn’t know which way was up- you might as well have been catapulted off in to the stratosphere with how weightless your limbs felt. Joel’s lips brushed against your temple as he moved his hand to touch your cheek with slow, lazy movements. You opened your eyes to find his staring back at you and you let out a huff of disbelief before your face broke in to a wide smile.

“Holy shit,” you said as Joel let out a soft chuckle of his own in agreement.

You only moved when your limbs started to tingle with the threat of pins and needles. Joel disappeared momentarily to the bathroom before padding through and sliding back in to bed beside you. You curled in to him, peppering kisses over the freckles on his shoulder as he brushed lazy strokes up and down the curve of your waist.

“Will you stay the night?” You half-whispered against his skin. The words came out before you could really think about them, needier than you intended.

“‘Course I will, darlin’,” he breathed back. Even as he fought off sleep, his tone made you realise he hadn’t even considered the alternative.

The residual desire pulsing through you parted to make way for a curious sensation that swirled its way in to your chest. It dripped through the edge of your consciousness, building to a trickle, settling like a balm over the lingering pain there. Pain caused by the shards of your broken heart left to scrape away at your insides for months.

Joel pressed the gentlest of kisses to the top of your head and pulled you in to his chest. You sank in to him, listening as his breaths turned to tiny snores, and wondered as you drifted off alongside him whether he would ever know that he was the one who put the first tiny piece of your heart back together.

Next Chapter

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treasureyourfire · 3 days ago

Text

~ Get a little rest ~

Dear Souls! A little later compared to my plans, but I brought you my New Year's Pick a Pile readings. The readings are timeless, find the post in the beginning months of any year (*or even in any month of a year), believe that you need it right then, of course only if it resonates with you. (*If you read it in June, for example, look at the past year going back to June of the previous year. ^^) I've noticed that the piles carry similar messages from certain areas of life, so you may be drawn to more than one image, and that's perfectly fine. Read them all, so if there is a message for you in more than one reading. Wish you the best, and take care! ^^ Arisa

Reminder:

* These are not gender-specific readings, they are about energies. * These are collective, timeless readings for entertaintment. * I am not a professional reader and readings that I do are a part of my learning process. * The tarot can provide guidance, but you manage your own life according to your free will. Feel free to keep what resonates, and let go of what doesn’t.~ * (English is not my mother language, sorry for the mistakes.)

Illustrations belongs to Kristin Askland

~ 1 ~

You can take a breath: What burden have you left behind in the past year: Five of Swords, Reversed Death, Reversed Ten of Wands, Temperance, Six of Wands, Magician, Page of Cups

Just thinking about the image I felt an unusual, intense resistance. At first I didn't know if the feeling was my own - because I was in a bad mood - or not, but then, when I started the reading, I understood that I felt your energy, dear Soul. You suffered such a loss, defeat or betrayal that you hid from the world with deep wounds. Maybe even from yourself. You wrapped yourself up like the kitty in your chosen picture. You were afraid to let change into your life, you closed yourself off, whether it was a change in external circumstances or your own internal transformation and development. Whether you wanted to survive or forget, I feel that you tried to remedy it by taking on more and more burdens the weight of which brought you to the brink of burnout, or maybe this collapse actually occurred. Maybe you buried yourself in work or a personal project, but it could also be that you didn't take on such a many burden of your own free will, but that your circumstances turned out that way. You couldn't grow under those so many burdens. Maybe you have been subconsciously or even intentionally hindering and sabotaging your own growth. A deep, personal transformation awaited you, which of course is often difficult, uncomfortable, and can be very much outside of our comfort zone, when we have to reshape our belief systems, our way of seeing things, and our attitude towards our situation and ourselves. Maybe this was meant to happen for you to some extent, a victory over the ego/subconscious. After many tense internal struggles, the time of ascension has finally arrived, the time to create a healthy balance in your life again. You've got room to develop again, and you've stepped onto the path that you can use to create harmony and peace. It's like you got your Mojo back. The fighting spirit has awakened in you. You embraced yourself, broadened your horizons, and now with more self-esteem, zest for life, more vitality, you switched to creation mode. Now you value yourself more, you have seen the treasures within you, and you are actively working on realizing your dreams to create the life around you that you really want. You have everything for it. The meeting your deeper self opened the door to self-love and new, happier beginnings.

You can rest: What helps you relax/gain strength the most? Page of Wands, Sun, Nine of Swords, Eight of Swords, Knight of Swords

Inspiration (making a mood board at the beginning of the year for example), creativity, dreaming, forms of self-expression. Art can be the best way to relax you right now, which can ease your anxiety. Returning to an old hobby, passion, any activity that filled you with joy when you were younger, or maybe starting something new that helps express yourself and self-realization. For some of you, a trip might mean relaxation, recharging in a sunny, warm place. There may still be holding back beliefs in your head, but don't let these ups and downs discourage you, you have time to heal. Fears, doubts, self-doubt cloud our vision, we get confused. Maybe you need to clear up these confusing thoughts and feelings. If you put them into form, it can be easier to examine and arrange them in yourself. In addition to art, because of the sword cards, I think communication can also help, either verbally or in writing, or if you examine yourself and your thoughts more consciously from a scientific perspective. Whether it's a person close to you, a support community, or a professional, it can help to share with someone what's weigh down your heart. It is difficult for me to interpret the Knight of Swords in this context. This card usually encourages action and change, not rest. In this situation, it can mean that it is necessary to take the lead, break out of a situation, overcome ourselves, shake ourselves out of the waves of negative thoughts, face our fears and examine their origin. Behind these fears, our true self is waiting to break out. We often think things about ourselves that are not true at all, we don't see the reality, the truth, among the false assumptions. It is difficult to abstract and look at ourselves and our situation with external eyes.

*Note: There is a Youtuber named Thomas Sanders whose videos I have seen in the past and some of those at the time helped me see some things in a slightly different light. Through himself, in an entertaining guise, he reveals to us (I could say that he explains with logic as the Knight of Swords) the workings of a person's personality and mind. Maybe someone else who chose this picture needs this information so I wanted to mention it.

Plan your path: What will you need to the start? / What should you take with you on your path? Hermit Item in your bag: - The Hermit's Lantern

Introspection, stillness. Maybe you need to withdraw from the eyes of the world for a while in order to find your own inner light, the wisdom, the knowledge with which you can go towards a truer, more authentic life. The Hermit searches for answers in himself, he is developing and growing quietly, he only needs himself, he does not let the outside world influence him. The meditative retreat, the practice of your spirituality can become an important tool for you in the period ahead of you, you can find the path that leads to the fulfillment of your wish(es). Let your own inner star, which you keep in your lantern be your compass.

Encouraging/Inspiring message from your spirit guides: Queen of Cups, Reversed Queen of Pentacles

You've reached shore, you're over it. You may have been attracted to the second picture as well, and that reading may partly resonate with you, because it may convey a similar message about your emotional world and the need to take care of the health of your body and soul. It is important to ground yourself, to research grounding techniques and activities, to connect with nature, and to balance your elements, equalizing the proportions against the energies of many previous sword cards with air (mental) element. Observing walks in nature, yoga, craft hobbies, claying, making ceramics, gardening, spending time with animals, practicing living in the present, connecting with Mother Earth. Manage and care your emotions and feelings consciously and don't forget to nourish and care for your body. Pay attention to your health. Nutritious meals, quality rests. A lot of anxiety also weakens the physical body, listen to its signals about what it needs. Take care of your heart, water your garden to gain strength and have the energy to create, to shape your life around you as an artist.

~ 2 ~

You can take a breath: What burden have you left behind in the past year: Queen of Cups

The inner turbulent sea has calmed down, your emotions have become clear, uncertainty has been replaced by stability, clear vision, awareness, and understanding. You already look at your own emotional world with different eyes, you have better understanding about how it works. You have studied yourself, the triple relationship of your thoughts-feelings-actions, as a result of which you have gained a deeper understanding and self-knowledge of yourself, and in the future you will try to handle different life situations and challenges more efficiently and consciously. You take care of yourself and your needs, you have become more understanding and compassionate to yourself and you are already showing more love to yourself. By the time you reached shore, you realized your own values, you found your inner voice, now you can finally breathe again.

You can rest: What helps you relax/gain strength the most? Queen of Pentacles

Treat yourself like a queen/king. It's time to relax and enjoy earthly pleasures. Taking care of yourself, giving attention to yourself can help you now the most to rest after the toils of the past year. In moderation, but get your favorite comfort foods or pay attention to your health and eat foods that nourish your body, if that resonates with you more. Any form of grounding and connection with nature can also embalm your soul. It can be any activity that relax you, in which you find joy, e.g.; creative projects, baking and cooking, claying, making ceramics, gardening, yoga. Maybe pamper yourself for a few days with a wellness or spa program, beautification, if you prefer this type of relaxation. Have a pampering intimate time with your partner or with yourself if you are single. Quality rest is important, enjoy, don't rush it. In all of its being (regardless of gender) I feel feminine (including possibly parental) energies from this pile, during this period it may be important for someone to connect to this gentle, caring quality, whether they practice it only towards themselves or by spending time with their partner, children, family.

Plan your path: What will you need to the start? / What should you take with you on your path? Reversed Empress Item in your bag: - Selflove potion

As soon as the Queen of Pentacles appeared, it was as if I felt the presence and essence of the Empress together with her. Strongly feminine, caring energies surround this pile. However, when this card arrived in reverse, I was a bit confused. Even with the Queen of Pentacles, I felt that self-care was emphasized, the Empress has similar energies in a basic situation, I don't think you should take that away from yourself after you managed to recharge. Indeed. Perhaps this is exactly the point, that you continue to pay attention to yourself and take care of yourself first before you do it with others, maintain your inner balance. (Of course, if you are a parent, priorities and balance are usually are rearranged, but don't forget about yourself, your own well-being, and ask for help if you need it and have the opportunity.) Perhaps it also refers to your relationship with others, to pay attention to how much of yourself you give to others and not to shred yourself to please everyone at all costs. It is a wonderful quality of you to care about others and be always there when they need you, but unfortunately this can have the shadowside of giving too much of yourself, consuming all your energy until you have no more to yourself. You love being a mother hen. ^^ Maybe you have taken on tasks for which others should have taken responsibility and solved them. This burnt-out or possibly frustrated state also hinders the development of your creative energies. It may be necessary to set those certain boundaries and not allow others to cross them, taking advantage of you, your altruism and generosity. I feel the main message is to love yourself enough to take care of your own needs first and not get stuck in harmful, destructive emotional addictions.

Encouraging/Inspiring message from your spirit guides: Star, Reversed Three of Cups

For me, the message got around with this advice. Dreams, healing, wishes, goals. Your spirit guides ask you to move forward towards your dream goals. You have heard a higher calling, you have taken the first steps, and your life is slowly starting to take the shape of your desires. Healing, growth, following our life path sometimes go hand in hand with loneliness, but don't let that discourage you. You should let go of fake/superficial friends/relationships, who don't treat you well and don't support you on your way, let them go. "It's better to be alone than in bad company." If they don't represent your ideas of what kind of relationships you need in your life, they hold you back in your development and they are toxic or disrespectful, breaking these relationships can be the beginning of healing and can give you space to later find true partners who really deserve and reciprocate your care and sincere love.

~ 3 ~

You can take a breath: What burden have you left behind in the past year: Reversed Ten of Cups

Relationship problems, toxic relationships/environment, people with low emotional intelligence, hopelessness, lack of love and happiness. Although you were physically surrounded by others, you felt lonely among them. You have been searching your place, where you belong. One-sidedness, overgiving may have characterized your relationships, which did not make you happy or nourish you, but now you have managed to break the chains. Maybe you have been wandering alone for a while looking for your soul tribe, where you will be supported and finally feel loved.

You can rest: What helps you relax/gain strength the most? Reversed Three of Pentacles, Eight of Wands, Magician

Sometimes it's good to withdraw from social life for a longer or shorter period of time (perhaps we pause our studies or don't immediately go back to school after finishing our courrently last course) to be alone, to clear our minds and figure out who we are and what we really long for without competing with others. For this, there are people who travel far away, or even move to a new place, where they can heal, and later, when they feel ready, in the new community there they can start with a clean sheet. Of course, this does not mean that traveling is the solution for everyone who chose this picture, but it is certain that moving forward is necessary, keeping your future in front of your eyes. Let your plans to spear, focus on your own individual goals for faster development and progress. All tools are at your disposal to bring your plans to life. Perhaps you received a message or an offer in the recent past period or you will receive it recently, which may hold out a new opportunity to you or inspire you, reminding you that it is time to get moving and put your ideas into shape. If you need it, unleash your creativity, live your passions and hobbies that you have suppressed or put aside for a while. The period of creation may begin.

Plan your path: What will you need to the start? / What should you take with you on your path? Wheel of Fortune, King of Cups, Three of Cups, Two of Cups, Knight of Cups, Sun, Seven of Cups, Eight of Swords Items in your bag: - A feather of a cedar waxwing - A seashell with the sound of your deep inner sea

Let the feather of this pretty bird reminds you on your journey that you were and are able to rise above difficulties and to keep your good heart. Your karma turns for the better. Your empathetic, giving nature is treasure. You are a good friend who enjoys spending time with others and sharing your emotional and earthly abundance with them, but it is important to maintain a balance. Reciprocity. Make sure that in your relationships you get back as much as you give. Stay aware, see who is worth letting close to you, who can become a true friend/ally, and who is only beautified by filters. Don't let others dim your light, don't give in to deceptions and manipulations. From now on, be the protagonist in your life, shine at its center, like the Sun in our solar system. Maybe the Knight of Cups can also points to make room for romance in your life, let these feelings in if that's what you want. If there is no one who would arouse your interest, be your own suitor, romanticize yourself, your life. Be open to opportunities for more emotional growth and development. Trust your emotional maturity. If a situation still confuses you and shakes your self-confidence, think about what is just a mind game or a delusion, either on your part or on the part of others. Examine your options, which one is the rational decision/available choice for you. Of course, it is often difficult for us to rise above our traumas and fears. Check how real your barriers are. If you don't see the truth at first, you are unsure of what is good for you, which is your path, try to calm down, raise the seashell to your ear and listen to what your inner voice wispering to you.

Encouraging/Inspiring message from your spirit guides: Reversed Ten of Swords, Reversed Hanged Man, Reversed Four of Cups, Reversed Six of Wands, Reversed Ace of Swords, High Priestess, Devil

You are over the biggest challenge, a difficult period has come to an end for you. You have awakened to awareness, and this enlightenment brought a healthier view of yourself and your situation, and initiated you on a more energetically balanced path. Your spirit guides say those who hurt you were not worthy of being part of your life anymore, their betrayal brought you a blessing in the long run, even if you don't feel that way at this moment. Your spirit guides want to help you, but for that you have to do your side too, take action and look for opportunities where you can develop and grow. Clear your thoughts. They ask you to learn from the challenges of the past and turn your experiences to your advantage, rebuilding your self-confidence and regaining your fighting spirit, and think things extensively before making important decisions. Maybe you practiced communicating with them in the past, but you've been holding back for a while? (Re)open the channel between you and them and ask for their help or advice for clarity, if you have doubts, if something is blocking your intuition. The Devil card can reveal addictions that chain you down, hinder your development (even spiritually), prevent you from fulfilling yourself and truly live your life. It may be important to question your beliefs and gain a deeper understanding of your spiritual path. This requires introspection and questioning of existing beliefs. It encourages you to dig deeper into your spiritual questions to seek a deeper and more nuanced understanding of your spiritual journey. Start trusting your inner wisdom and intuition. Stay aware of your negative thoughts, temptations, and fears that can derail you. In terms of your relationships, it can be important too to examine your attachments. What pattern do you cling to, what is toxic, what wasn't healthy in your previous relationships, be it in family, friendship, or romantic relationship.

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