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thefriendlyfrog · 4 years ago

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Too many thoughts on SPN 15x17, “Unity”

Welp, I don’t usually do this, but this episode was so great and packed with so many good parallels and callbacks I couldn’t help it! Meredith Glynn is such a great writer. So, let’s begin. Lots of spoilers under the cut.

The first scene opens up to Amara living life to the fullest in an Icelandic hot spring (I’ve been to some in Iceland and would 10/10 recommend – don’t bother with the Blue Lagoon, though). My eyes were immediately drawn to the super recognizable cover of Murakami’s “Norwegian Wood”. Now, I haven’t read this book since, like, high school (now realizing that was a DECADE ago), but I do remember the general plot and themes of the story (I should really reread that again, it’s a good book). Basically, the story is recalled by our narrator and protagonist Watanabe at a later point in his life as he is reminded of a time of life when the Beatles’ song “Norwegian Wood” plays. I don’t want to spoil the whole book, but basically it is a coming of age story that is steeped in themes of regret, sex, love, and death (among others, it really is a literary treasure trove!). Skip the next paragraph if you don’t want “Norwegian Wood” spoilers.

In short: Watanabe’s best friend from high school commits suicide which haunts him and his friend’s girlfriend, Naoki, for the rest of their lives. Watanabe and Naoki become close and romantically involved, but she leaves for a sanitorium. Watanabe wants to be with Naoki despite her telling him that she doesn’t think she can love anymore (she described herself and her high school boyfriend as soulmates). Watanabe later meets Naoki’s opposite, Midori, a lively girl who Watanabe grows close to and is also interested in. Watanabe essentially doesn’t move forward as he is waiting on Naoki while having Midori waiting on him. At the end of the story, it is revealed that it has always been Midori and he realizes he wants to be with her.

I thought that this was an EXCELLENT pick for Amara to be reading. It really sums of a lot of surface and not-so-surface level themes in Supernatural. Wondering if there is a parallel between Dean and Watanabe about sort of idealizing a life (with someone) that isn’t meant to be while ignoring love in front of you? Would love to hear all of your thoughts.

Moving on (I’m skipping through parts of the episode to just focus on some key observations)! Amara tries to convince Chuck to fight on behalf of this world and wants to show him some of his creations. So, she brings him to Heaven to see his ‘first children’ (i.e., angels). She also refers to angels as having prefect angelic devotion which immediately made me laugh because our fave angel Cas is really devoted to Dean humanity and not Chuck. Ahh! This whole episode just kept pointing out how special Cas is.

And then, callback after callback began. Amara brings Chuck to the bunker so Chuck says, “Is this a trap?” which made me think of episode 9 (“The Trap” by Berens). This was almost immediately followed by another callback when Chuck says, “You can’t hold me here forever,” to which Amara replies, “I can hold you long enough.” Um, Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets (12x10, Yockey), anyone?

Ishim: “You can’t hold me here forever.” … Lily’s powers are wearing off as Ishim approaches her until Cas stabs Ishim in the back with his angel blade. Cas: “You held him for long enough.”

Like, COME ON! Almost verbatim.

Skipping forward to Dean and Jack’s adventure to visit my favorite hippies, Adam and Serafina (like seriously, they were fantastic characters!). Adam refers to himself as, “…first dude off of the assembly line,” which is similar language that has been used to referring to angels in the past (again, invoking Castiel?)

Then Dean assumes the woman is Eve but they both just shake their heads and chuckle, “I’m Serafina,” I’m definitely not the first one to point this out but… the First Man being in a near-lifelong romantic relationship with an angel named Seraph Serafina?! Uh, yeah, ‘nuff said.

Serafina also mentions that she saw Jack when she and Adam were, “…sipping mushroom tea on the Hanging Gardens of Babylon,” which made me wonder if there was some sort of connection with Glynn’s season 14 episode, “Byzantium” (14x08), which is the episode Cas makes his deal with the Empty. Babylon was a fortress of the Byzantine empire (not going to lie, my historical knowledge about the Byzantine empire is preeeeetty limited).

I also loved the whole speech by Serafina to Dean: “I mean, just think of everything that has had to happen to get Jack to this place, to this moment. Baby, it was meant to be,” Dean, of course, is upset by this because he is probably thinking that this was all basically predestined, and he has had no free will. However, he just needs to wait a little while longer until Chuck tells him to his face that he has never been able to control Cas since he laid his hand on Dean saving him from Hell.

Serafina also heals Adam’s wound and it is, of course, super reminiscent of Cas healing Dean (although, even Serafina doesn’t directly touch Adam when healing him – it’s, once again, unique to Castiel). Obligatory hand squeal: HANDS!!!! Wow, they are not even trying to be subtle about the whole hands thing. It is so IN YOUR FACE begging for the audience to notice it.

Adam then mentions how much power is in his rib: “But this puppy? Is packing enough punch to create LIFE. Or, in your case, destroy God.” Well, at this point I think we can all be pretty certain that in the end it will NOT be used to destroy God, so will it instead be used for creation? Excited to see how they defuse Jack’s supernova bomb next episode.

Rounding off Dean’s vignette is a heartbreaking scene with him and Jack in the Impala. Dean says, “I don’t know how to explain it. When I learned about Chuck, it was like – it’s like I wasn’t alive. Not really. You know, like, my whole life I’ve never been free. But like, really free. But now, me and Sam, we got a shot at living a life…But now we have a chance. And that’s because of you.” Again, this is before Dean learns that Cas’ actions were made of his own free will, and from the sounds of it, Dean’s connection to Amara as well. I also immediately wondered if Jack bringing Dean some sense of freedom was what Cas saw when Jack showed him “paradise”.

Moving on to Sam’s vignette: Sam remembers that Sergei mentioned the Key of Death was in the bunker (how did he remember this, wasn’t he unconscious at the time? A little disappointed Cas didn’t get to provide that little fact but I’m also glad that Sam actually served a purpose this episode and was a bit more front and center). They find the Key of Death and there is an inscription in Latin on the box:

Viator mortalis, cave, quoniam scias Clavem Mortis pensare graviter. Il tamen desideres ut introeas illum abyssum obscurissimum artis opus est tibi porta.

Okay, fair warning: I took Latin for 4 years but it has been awhile so my translation is super not perfect, but I figured I would take a stab at it because the subtitles were wrong at times and Google translate is not perfect. I translated it as something like this:

Mortal traveler, beware, because you know the Key of Death should be considered seriously. However, if you want to enter the darkest abyss, this work of art is the gate/door.

Honestly, there were a few words that I couldn’t find the right conjugations to and I know this isn’t 100% accurate, but it gives you the gist.

Sam then visits Death’s library and finds the Empty there, killing people (?) to get in touch with Death, whom they hasn’t been trusting as of late. We learn that Death’s plan is to assume the role of New God and restore the world back to order, bring back rules. The Empty is wary because they don’t know if they can trust the promise of being able to go back to sleep. Trust issues, the Empty says, because of “your busted-ass friend in the trench coat,” another subtle-not-so-subtle mention of Cas. But why, exactly, did Cas give the Empty ‘trust issues’? Was it because he woke up in the first place? Because he has ‘traipsed in and out’ of the Empty without dying?

We also learn that only Billie can read Chuck’s Death book, and, this may be a crack idea but… maybe Cas should be able to read the book because he was the one that killed Billie and made her Death in the first place? Seems like Cas might have a connection to Billie. It would be cool if Cas were the one to read Chuck’s book.

Finally, we learn a bit more about the Empty, and how they can’t go to Earth unless summoned. Hmm…

Flash forward to Amara and Chuck in the bunker. Amara tells Chuck, “It’s not too late, brother,” and, if you’re like me, you finished that sentence with “it’s never too late (to start all over again)”. So many great Destiel songs out there, but “Never Too Late” takes the cake for me.

Amara and Chuck decide to become one, become ultimate balance. Chuck extends his hand and Amara grasps it as she is absorbed into Chuck. I don’t even know if I really need to say this, but… HANDS! (Destiel is already canon to me but if the show is going to make it more explicitly canon for the audience, it’s going to be through hands as I know people have been shouting about for several seasons now).

To finish, let’s talk about that kick-ass scene with TFW 2.0 at the end of the episode. We find out that Chuck’s real ending is to have Dean regress and give in to rage and kill everything he loves, probably ultimately leading to his own death. Woof, what a tragic ending (tragedy ≠ good ending). So, we’ve got to subvert that which Dean does after a heartfelt plea from Sam (“You would trade me?”). I enjoyed how much Dean looked back at Cas during this exchange, especially after Sam tells Dean that Eileen will die again. The parallels, the connection.

Honestly, I’m not sure why Cas and Jack were in that scene other than to have some meaningful glances exchanged between Cas and Dean and because TFW2.0 is together in the next scene. But… whatever, more Cas so I liked it.

And finally, the scene that had me shaking with VINDICATION.

Cas to Chuck: “What, you consumed your sister?” Chuck: “We came to an understanding, so spare me your contempt Castiel, the self-hating angel of Thursday. You know what every other version of you did after ‘gripping him tight and raising him from perdition’? They did what they were told. But not you. Not the ‘one off the line with a crack in his chassis’” (Cas looks back at Dean after a moment)

Okay, so let’s break this exchange down. So much satisfaction with just a few sentences. Bravo, Ms. Glynn.

“We came to an understanding.” Didn’t Michael and Adam say the same thing after they decided to share equally in their bond and vessel? Callback #1.

“…self-hating angel of Thursday.” Ahh, it’s been so long since we got mention that Cas is the angel of Thursday. The last time was, what, when Crowley says it to Cas back in season 6? By the way, it was totally meant to be that Supernatural will finish off the series on a Thursday. Callback #2 (ish).

“You know what every other version of you did after ‘gripping him tight and raising him from perdition’?” This is the second time the show has repeated Cas’ first line to Dean near-verbatim in two seasons. You know, just in case the audience forgot Dean and Cas’ infamous first meeting (which I am like 99% sure we are going to get hella callbacks to next episode). Callback #3.

“They did what they were told. But not you. Not the ‘one off the line with a crack in his chassis.’” Again, Chuck is closely paraphrasing what Naomi said about Cas in season 8:

8x21 “The Great Escapist” – Naomi: “You're the famous spanner in the works. Honestly, I think you came off the line with a crack in your chassis. You have never done what you were told. Not completely. You don't even die right, do you?”

Callback #4. Seriously, Glynn packed four callbacks into such a short time period. Wizard.

My only *criticism* of this final scene is that Dean and Cas didn’t seem to react too much to Chuck’s news about Cas always having free will (although, I think Cas already knew this, but it is news and confirmation to Dean!). I highly suspect that will come next week, though. I’m SO excited (and also terrified) for next week. We are definitely going to be getting a lot of Cas next episode. Misha, in an interview, mentioned that we would get Cas’ ‘chapter’ in 18, and I’m wondering if this will be the true Cas-centric episode? I don’t know, maybe the Cas-centric episode was “Gimme Shelter” but I was expecting more of a “The Man Who Would Be King” kind of Cas-centric episode.

All in all, 10/10. I keep reading and seeing things that are galaxy braining me, so it has been super fun reading all the meta and reactions to this episode.

Three episodes left. Get your tissues ready for Cas’ death (oops, is this even a spoiler at this point?) next episode. And remember, “Nothing ever really ends,” and “The end has no end,”

#spn #spn 15 #spn spoilers #spn 15 spoilers #spn 15x17 #15x17 #Unity #Meredith Glynn #Destiel #Deancas #hands #meta #maybe?#spn meta #meta or just random thoughts and reactions #awesome episode #profound bond #castiel is key #supernatural

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bre95611 · 4 years ago

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HI! I’m finally rewatching 15x17 so I’m doing an in-depth(ish?) super stoned commentary! Hooray!

Before I get into it, I just really have to say, god I love this season so so so much. The writing has just been beautiful, and it has me EMOTIONAL af. Anyway. Here we go!

I always like looking at the Then/Now scenes. I feel they can ring some really important storywide context to the show. A great example of this is the Pizza Man montage. This episode it starts with the conversation from a few episodes back with Dean and Sam discussing Jack killing God.

I’ve found the Dean/Amara relationship very interesting. After how it was played up in the 15x15 Gimme Shelter, always from Dean’s perspective in a joking manner. I believe it was @verobatto-angelxhunter that discussed the Big Married Energy it gave off, Dean teasing Castiel about a woman from his past. Season 11, as the beginning of the Dabb era, has been calling my name for a rewatch lately, especially with Amara being brought back. Its always been established that the connection Dean and Amara have was not something Dean liked. It wasn’t actual attraction. I’ll talk more about this later.

I have made some random posts here and there talking about the symmetry in endings between Season 11 and Season 15, I will also dig into this more later.

Saw a post about the amount of times “world” is said, want to keep track of that. I know there is a heavy Destiel attachment, and the second time it is said is during the Then sequence, Chuck’s dialogue from the episode with the tvs, talking about how its time to clear the board. (Want to look into Chess mentions this season, maybe even Dabb era as a whole? Because obviously there’s been a game going on at the cosmic level for quite some time). It doesn’t show the scene where Dean and Cas in the kitchen comes up on the tv where Chuck calls them “the world”. but it does have that section of dialogue as t screens are being shown, bringing that to mind.

Then we have Meg 2.0 as The Shadow, Cas is confused why he is being harmed since they’re on the same side. The Shadow makes their loyalty known. Keep this in mind. Will touch on this later as well.

Shit this is a lot for the episode not even starting yet. Below the cut for more!

God Amara is a QUEEN and I love her SO MUCH.

Sam tells Cas to “just get home” cause the Bunker is his FUCKING HOME

One thing I’ve seen brought up a lot is how Dean is always very action focused. Solve the problem at hand, “cross that bridge when we get to it” type of mentality. His plans always revolve around that. Cas and Sam are always very focused on there being another way, how there is always another way, especially when one oftheir lives are at stake. Sam calls him out. Sam wouldn’t care if Dean was saying that all the time if it were actually true, wouldn’t wonder if he ever got tired of saying it if they did only ever have one choice. TFW always subverts the problem at hand. Last season, their only shot of beating Michael was the Malak Box. Season 11 was soul bomb Dean, 13 was Dean saying yes to Michael. Ya’ll see a theme yet? Dean loves to sacrifice himself. Sam’s done the same exact thing, closing the Hell gates, letting out Lucifer. Cas’s whole thing in Season 6? They’ve all done the same things. over and over. Hamster wheel. Think of what made all those endings obsolete? What made them find another way, huh?

Fuck that paragraph went somewhere I wasn’t originally taking it, but still a good take IMHO.

I’m loving the SUITS!

I really hope that Amara is not gone. I know I’ve seen some stuff that talks about why that has to have been her last episode, but whatever. Imma still dream. And I really might have to just write a fix-it fic after the finale about Aunt Amara and Jack hanging out.

I just noticed world again (Dean to Amara: saving the whole world’s ass)

“You and I will always help each other.” That look on Dean’s face when she said that. Not the face of someone enjoying being flirted with by and “ex-flame” or whatever the hell

Saw a post about the generational family story that was being told (I believe it was @occamshipper) that basically has Sam is to Jack as Dean was to Sam growing up (Dean is John and Cas is Mary, super awesome read, will try to find and link in a bit). This whole family arc is about breaking the toxic circle, being a better parent than your parents, found family kinda things. So how has Dean reacted to Sam in these situations? Most recently, I think, is season 8, with the Trials. Sam was sacrificing himself, he knew that, he was okay with it. Sam was suicidal by the end of it, and Dean does what he normally does with Sam and keeps him from finishing the trials, and season 9 starts with Dean completely taking away his autonomy again, allowing Gadreel to possess him. Dean was angry, he was disappointed, he acted like Dean, and that is the kind of treatment he gets from his “big brother” father figure. But Sam breaks through his treatment, tells Jack he is brave and validates him, and doesn’t try and take away his FREE WILL.

Sam continues the path he started on when he told Dean to stop as he continuously made excuses/explained why he had kept things from Sam about Jack. He grows!! I love to see it!! He does NOT give up his FREE WILL. Guys I’m loving it. These boys are actively making HARD decisions and we are seeing growth in real time. TFW in every form has...not really lived up to its name? Sure, the world gets free will, but the boys never do. And not just in situations like they’re told they can’t do something. I’m talking constant violations of each other’s bodily autonomy. Dean all the time with Sam, Cas when he takes down the Hell wall from Sam’s mind, honestly....mostly its Sam having it violated. But the other guys have to stop fucking with it. They all need a variation. Dean needs the Free Will to stop being his father’s soldier, to live his true non performative life. Cas needs to be free of his self doubt. Permission to be happy, not happy in and of itself. Jack needs Free Will to be a fucking toddler.....

Sam SEES it dude, he knows something isn’t right, and he’s the one that figured it out like, every other time this season, too. Jesus. Dean is so desparately caught up in wanting to get the hell OUT of the hamster wheel, he’s too blind to see how deep into it he is. The first plan ANYONE gives him, he goes with it. He’s literally followed Billie’s plan because of one of her books before, and what happened? Cas and Sam brought him back from sacrificing himself.

I’ve really enjoyed how much Sam and Dean are fighting, honestly. Like, my spec for a while now has been that the brothers are going their seperate ways at the end of all this, the only way to satisfyingly bring an impactful end to their toxic codependency that they’ve been chipping away at for the last few seasons.

Guys I’m suuuuuuuper baked,

Dean says “Someone’s gotta be the grownup here” talking to Sam about taking Jack to do the final ritual. Dean is fully his father, talking to the “older brother” Sam protecting the “special child” Jack. Dean is not breaking the cycle established by his father, going mad with rage over his circumstances

Jesus Christ the LOOK ON SAM’S FACE when Dean says Jack’s not family. I’m dead. He looks so broken.

That line though is.....hm. All through season 14 and 15, its been established that Jack is family, their kid. When Lily Sunder comes back to help get his soul, Dean makes comments about not making them go through what she did with her daughter, and again to Belphegor in 15 when asked who he was (after a fight between Dean and Cas no less, calls him “our kid”). So this is how far Dean has spiralled? This is how he is choosing to try and deal with knowing Jack will die? Denial of his importance?

“He’s not like you. He’s not like Cas.” Dean feels he holds a different relationship with Cas than he does with Sam. Just...sayin....

Jared’s acting is......truly just phnomenal.

Man, i feel like the music is off? and it makes me think its intentional, cause Becky says something about how there’s no classic rock? So foreshadowing? nah.

This really does feel like....the last real Sam and Cas interaction. It is heart breaking really.

Alright, I’m posting this now......cause I literally just got to the first commercial break.... So

This is pt 1 I guess.

#spn 15x17 spoilers #spn 15 spoilers #spn spec #spn meta #my meta #my spec

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 5 years ago

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“So Happy Together” Analysis

i don’t sleep

tl;dr: tbh not much to go off on about. i think we see a new skin for Iron Bear, one with some stripes. amara smiles, i do talk a little bit about little sisters in bioshock but tbh i think this was all just a stylistic choice lol. oh and handsome jack’s masks- probably Mount Jackmore. i don’t want to get to freaked out over jack returning, but damn gearbox lol u had me there for a second. im pretty sure it’s just a reused cut quest from bl2 that they never got to implement.

EDIT: here’s all the cut content in bl2 (plus all the non-cut content as well for funsies). you can go to the cut quests and see the audio files for claptrap’s jackmore quest

holy shit can i just vomit all my emotions rn, they’re all good so imma do that so im rational when i start analyzing stuff okay? okay!

holy shit that was fucking great and im really glad i tempered my expectations to something smaller than i thought because i feel bad for people expecting something huge, i was under the assumption we’d be getting a new mechanic that was like ‘choose ur +1 and they’ll be able to play the game with you if you’re both online even if they don’t have the game’ which was what someone said on reddit. altho im sure the poor company is gonna get spammed now with hate like ‘WTF YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE BUILT THIS UP AAAA’. not to lie, i was slightly disappointed it wasn’t a longer stream, but i mean if they’ve got nothing to announce, they’ve got nothing to announce and HEY! new trailer!!! gonna be combing thru on the assumption this has some easter eggs like the MoM trailer did, just in case. i thought it was a cute trailer, gearbox never explicitly said what it was gonna be, a lot people all just assumed what was gonna happen was a demo/beta which sucks so i hope this doesn’t negatively impact people’s perspective of the game. im staying off reddit for now bc when i first checked it people were pretty pissed and i dun need that negativity lmao

okay! emotions are LOCKED behind closed doors. i am shifting into study mode. here we go boys/girls/those of us who know better. haven’t done one of these in a while, let’s see if im rusty at all.

claptrap! and the skull on the chair which reminds me of tyreen’s “favorite skull”.

tv says “we are under attack, please stand by”

and afaik claptrap is near the beginning of the game, you can see part of the recruitment center behind him when the camera pans.

im thinking there might be something in the roses, specifically the hand-drawn roses later on in the trailer. will be keeping an eye open for that.

this is specifically a jakobs brand chest. i really like the see-through aesthetic of it

intro area of the game again. possible hint to the opening cutscene? tbh i was worried that’s what we were about to get because i haven’t finished the roughs of my mock up lol

so what i didn’t notice my first time through is that you can then see claptrap, also being shown in the chest

waving up at the camera. that’s not trippy at all or anything lol

this car in the foreground (with no one driving it, mind you)

randomly combusts, looking quite like elpis in that one shot of the claptrap presents pandora trailer. wonder if that means it’s gonna ‘splode.

ohhh it spins. please no spin imma get motion sick blech

shot of some cultists. one appears to have a jetpack near the bottom right there

another explosion to the beat

the shock wave!!!! that’s awesome

shock nomads cultists are back. f in chat for our shields

another cultist seconds before he gets blown to bits

it cuts to black for a secco as it moves thru said explosion

another cultist, i assume a psycho

finally some good fucking angles

heh.

idk what i expected from someone who’s first action skill line i ever heard was them shouting MAGIC WALL!!! TAAAADAAAAAAAAH

as a side note

who is shooting those lasers

we see them coming from behind the VHs, but

there’s nothing there

SPOOKY~

they’re coming from... the wall???

tfw u shot urself in the foot on accident

amara is not amused

`is this some human custom i don’t understand yet`

also i hate that i’ve done this exact dance before when i took dance classes as a kid

with less style of course, i was like 7

moze is into it, hell yeah

this reminds me a lot of Kingsman. where all the blood is like fireworks and stuff. i wonder if that has anything to do with the psycho brainwashing. like little sisters in bioshock. they see roses instead of blood, right? maybe there’s something like that going on with the psychos

i’d certainly hope our vault hunters aren’t brainwashed, anyway.

this dude looking SHOCKED to see that tho, lmfao

i relate to this man on a spiritual level i stg

man he looks pissed

omfg lol

“um”

“i guess this is okay”

the body language in this is gold i am just having the time of my life

adsfdgfhgjhgfk

this is so cute

also in retrospect, i think this is one of the turrets we see on promethea. i wonder what it’s doing here!

moze u ok?

oh nvm she’s into it, look at her! she’s dancing! She’s Dancin’!

oooo one of the robots from the we are mayhem trailer! okay you can totally see why i think they’re jakobs, RIGHT???

iirc this is a maliwan soldier

man this is a crossover event, isn’t it?

i get it now. togetherness. i gotchu gearbox.

some maliwan ships in the sky. possibly sanc-iii on the right? or a ship of the same model as sanc-iii!

this is a magitek dropship, change my mind

eh, they both start with M, fuck it.

no idea what fl4k is doing here

mayyyybe shielding themselves from the ‘firework’/confetti shower

i like that the confetti explosions are backed up by purple, you know like eridium/slag/siren powers. seriously, maybe this is just how to cultists see us Vault Hunters and the mass murder.

at the very least, the psychos.

fl4k’s into it. i wish we knew the name of their skag, if it has one. i hope it does.

well now the lasers are coming from the other side! what the hell

moving on

i think this is the HBC from the speakers, plus im pretty sure that skull and the stained glass are the entrance to mouthpiece’s arena

we also get a different colored explosion. im paranoid jack is somehow making a return (please god no), so i’ll just note it’s the same color as his eyes.

AND the chests are vomiting out gold guns, which i think, gold-plated gear, is the cult’s way of signifying standing. which im sure is a tongue-in-cheek commentary as gearbox gives out a gold weapon pack as a pre-order bonus. no, like, it even shows up as an ad on the video

smh gearbox lmao

oh, also, the cultists are doing fuckin flying impressions

im not saying its a reference to the cultist with rakk wings on the cover, buuuut

bitch it might be lol

it’s an upside-down vault symbol! ive been trying to figure out what that is in those screens for the longest time!

back on promethea and we get to see fl4k’s spiderant in action

their skag, too, of course

the jabbermon in the back there, too! i wonder if they’re going to be shock or cryo. i would imagine shock given how they’re glowing

also i love the way the flowers look in contrast to the character models

moze is so happy aw

i love the way fl4k’s skag comes flying in and slides to a stop. such a good doggo ;-;

this is beautiful, i want it as a wallpaper

moze skipping? holy shit

100% verified the best thing i’ve ever seen

i lied. this is.

is this the fast travel station effect?

also! IB is looking a bit different

i wonder if this is a redesign or if IB is wearing a new skin moze picked out

pan over to zane who clearly doesn’t notice the being of darkness and horror in the doorway

oh also, we’re on eden-6 now. which would explain the fast travel effect

psychos dancing on the rooftops lol

oh god my eyes

nothing to really say here, i just like this screenshot

pink shields booyah

this is so fucking cute

we also get a better look at that one facility on eden-6

is that... red i see? >w> i won’t say it i won’t i won’t say it i swear i just- ATLAS

fuck

i like that zane’s clone spawns with his melee attachment

not AS excited as the real life version though

GB pls let this be a zane emote

is that a varkid? on eden-6?

wtf is a varkid doing on eden-6???

more shots of the facility btw. reminds me a lot of sanc-iii so maybe this actually is the supamax mfg construction facility like i originally thought. hmmmmmmm

ah yes, of course

holy shit what is this a reference to?

im told it’s the sex pistols

the back of the bullet turns into Athenas

pans in

amara!

enemy with a top hat on. some variation of/upgraded gravedigger? it’s like a psycho but recolored with blue pants and a top hat. you can see it fall off when amara shoots him

y’know, these guys

some rakk in the background

i am hoping bc this is a celebration of togetherness we’re seeing all enemies everywhere, not that the planets don’t have their own unique fauna.

she’s so happy omfg

oh, you want some?

Uhhh then there’s THIS sequence

they’re doing the flying thing again lmao

there’s also whatever that black blob is on the left. a spaceship maybe?

car wheel

all their eyes started glowing red. uh oh gamers

also another fast travel effect

hmmmm... zarpedon is that you??

back on pandora.

“super 87 racetrack”, maybe this is near that motorcade fast travel we saw?

huzzah! rainbows!

i do believe that’s sanctuary-iii

another ship. drop ship?

elpis is looking nice this time of year. definitely not explode-y. yet.

pret-ty sure that’s iron bear. moze is standing atop the tower lmao

also! back to it’s old paint scheme. looks like moze was using a skin or smth

we also have this. are my eyes failing me or is that a big cross on the left? could be where jack was buried.

also i know there was cut content in bl2 about Mount Jackmore! and this looks like a Mount Jackmore to me. it’s a cut quest where claptrap asks you to basically ruin the thing. but since the quest was cut, it’s still here in bl3. maybe they’ll reintegrate the quest lol

i can’t imagine it being roland’s gravesite. because it looks like the below.

i do know we’re going to roland’s grave in bl3, but the statues don’t really match up. maybe it is and the statues were broken, or ruined or something and replaced by a cross. could be then that the gravesite was defaced with, well, the guy that killed him.

im really hoping jack doesn’t make a return. im fine with dealing with what he set in motion, and his influence, and probably even some ECHO logs and movie trailers, but please, for the love of god, don’t actually bring him back, AI or otherwise. im really excited for the calypso twins, i’d really hate to see the focus shift back to that guy. he’s had his fingers in every borderlands game. it’s time to let him go.

idk what this is exactly. it looks like maybe that weird eye bot troy stands next to in the intro for the behind closed doors panel?

goodbye mr magical jakobs chest, it’s been real

the RC now has red drapes going down it. have those always been there? i don’t remember those

hmmmmmmmmm maybe we’re looking at it from the back 🤔

anyway, that’s all she wrote. i haven’t see any hidden morse code messages or anything yet, but if something surfaces, i’ll be sure to add it here.

#borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #so happy together trailer #oof #tumblr fought me on posting this like 7 times

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murasaki-murasame · 6 years ago

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Thoughts on Sarazanmai Episode 4: “I Want To Connect, But You’re So Far Away”

Or maybe I should say, ‘I Want To Connect, But You’re Soba Away”? :V

There’s a whole lot going on in this episode, but above all else I’m gonna have the scene with Mabu saying ‘that’s yesterday’s noodle’ stuck in my head for the next while.

tfw you’re yesterday’s noodle u_u

Anyway, thoughts under the cut.

In this episode of Sarazanmai, we learn that on being a teenage drug dealer, Toi has also literally murdered a dude before. Which actually isn’t all that surprising, considering that we’ve already seen him waterboarding a dude with his brother before.

It sure does say a lot about this show that you can say that the reveal of one of the main characters having shot someone when he was a child is almost underwhelming because you’ve already seen him torture a dude, lmao.

I did really like how all of the flashback sequences were handled in this episode, though, especially the secret leaking sequence. This episode in particular makes me feel like I’m missing out because I haven’t watched Penguindrum yet, since everyone says that Nobuyuki Takeuchi [the episode director for this episode and one of the head directors on this show as a whole] was responsible for the best episode of it. But I know him mostly for his work on the first season of Bakemonogatari, and at the very least I can say that you can REALLY tell he worked on that show as well. Especially with all the shots of urban environments and cityscapes and whatnot.

The only thing that really felt weird about the flashbacks was how it felt like Kouki Uchiyama barely tried to change his voice even when he was voicing Toi as a little kid, so that immediately sounded kinda weird and jarring. But other than that it was all great.

You could piece together the gist of Toi and Chikai’s relationship from what we’d already seen of them, but it was nice to get a deep dive into exactly what’s going on. So basically Chikai got involved in gang stuff, stole money from another gangster to pay off his family’s debts, which lead to Toi shooting that dude, and now Toi is trying to become part of the criminal underworld so that he can stay near his brother, even while Chikai is clearly trying to push him away so he can live a normal life.

We’ve technically already heard it from the first PVs ages ago, but Toi’s whole monologue about how anything and everything can disappear and be forgotten is even more interesting now with the whole context of how whenever each kappa zombie gets defeated, they very literally get erased from existence, and from the memories of people who knew them, and even from stuff like photos they were in.

And on the note of kappa zombies, this week’s one was another mostly unimportant background character who was a bit of a sexual deviant that got caught by Reo and Mabu and made into a kappa zombie. It at least continues the trend of the zombie of the week being some sort of a foil to the character being focused on, since this whole episode was about Toi’s history with his family’s soba shop, and the kappa zombie was someone who ran a different soba store, and who basically had a fetish for wanting to use his girlfriend’s bathwater to make a giant soba bowl for them to soak in. With how all of the zombies are silly and exaggerated versions of the sorts of desires that the main characters have, you can see how it relates to Toi wanting to protect his family’s soba shop and live with his brother.

Everyone keeps saying that episode six will be where things really get shaken up plot-wise, but I feel like the next episode might also be pretty interesting, going by what Reo and Mabu talked about with them wondering if they should change things up.

And on the topic of the next episode, I’m hoping that we actually get to see Kazuki’s whole ‘let’s literally kidnap Sara so I can take her place at the handshake meeting all so that I can keep up the weird ruse I have going on with Haruka’ mission play out. It sounds so incredibly bonkers that I just want to see how it goes.

It’s kinda funny that, considering what this episode was actually about for the most part, pretty much everything Kazuki does feels more strange and unsettling than anything Toi’s done. I think it’s mostly because Toi’s motives are spelled out very explicitly, and he doesn’t try and hide any of it, whereas Kazuki’s one big complicated mess of mysterious motivations and feelings. And even though Toi has fully committed to being a criminal, Kazuki is in this uncomfortably creepy grey area where he clearly doesn’t want to acknowledge that anything he’s doing is bad, but he’s also completely willing to happily tell Toi about how he wants him to help him kidnap Sara. He even had a whole map printed out to help illustrate the very specific plan he wants the two of them to go through with to make it happen, which includes Toi knocking Sara’s manager out and locking him somewhere where he won’t bother them. There’s just something distinctly creepy about the boundaries Kazuki crosses and the attitude he has about it, and I kinda love it.

While I’m thinking about it, I should also say that I’m starting to think that Kazuki is very intentionally using his Sara disguise to manipulate Toi. I think he’s already figured out that Toi has a bit of a crush on him, at least in his Sara outfit, and this episode really makes it seem like he’s exploiting that to his benefit. The part where he runs up and hugs Toi stands out in particular, since he didn’t really have any specific reason to be so pushy and suggestive about it. Before the episode came out and we just had the preview images, I thought it’d be the sort of scene where, for example, Kazuki is running from someone and ropes Toi into acting like his boyfriend or whatever, which would have explained the sudden hug and the hushed explanation of what he wants Toi to do, but nah. He just did that, entirely of his own volition, instead of just walking up to him and talking like a normal person. In general he seems to be having a lot of fun getting into the Sara persona when he’s alone with Toi, which I think is very telling in a lot of ways.

I really hope that some sort of a legit love triangle starts to develop here, if only because I think it’ll lead to a lot of juicy drama, and tbh it’d feel a bit weird if a lot of this stuff didn’t actually go anywhere.

And as yet another element of Kazuki being surprisingly hard to understand, we have the whole post-credits stinger scene of him giving his dish to Toi and finally revealing that he actually hates Haruka.

There’s a lot of ways this can go, so for the most part I’m just gonna wait and see, but I agree with basically everyone else that my initial guess is that it’s probably some sort of resentment toward Haruka because of the special attention and accommodations that have to be given to him because of his disability. Which would also make sense based on how apparently the light novel makes it a bit more clear that whatever happened to Haruka might have been a relatively recent accident, and so it might have been a much more disruptive and unexpected force in Kazuki’s life.

As a disabled person, this sort of topic always hits really close to home with me, in some really uncomfortable ways, so even though I’m excited to see where it goes, and I have faith that Ikuhara will handle it well, I’m still kinda apprehensive. It’s not like it’s an unrealistic or ‘bad’ topic to write about, but it just always makes me uncomfortable and self-conscious when stories have able-bodied characters that resent disabled people they know because of their special needs. The fact that Kazuki’s the cagey and neurotic one while Haruka is just a normal little kid who clearly wants to just have a normal relationship with his brother gives me hope that it hopefully shouldn’t at least devolve into straight-up ableism territory.

Either way, I’m excited to see where the next episode goes.

And on a side note, in a few weeks I’m probably going to be importing the ReoMabu prequel manga. I really want to get the light novel as well, but I think I’ll wait until I can at least order both volumes of it at the same time.

#murasaki rambles #sarazanmai #all of the main cast members are messy bastards and I LOVE them

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elizabethrobertajones · 7 years ago

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13x22 watching notes

I already miss Bobo

(sometimes I can still hear his voice)

It's 7:15 and I have yoga in a bit and the sun is shining directly on my screen where my cheap ass curtains don't meet but I am gonna start watching because what is flow and continuity in tone to these writers anyways. This is a "may as well rip the plaster off" sort of start.

Regular readers of my notes will know exactly how thrilled I was to have BL handling the big character driven everyone in the same room clusterfuck this episode promises to be and lil update: since then the promos have reassured me that nope they don't have tone or nuance and we're in for some quality characterisation.

This is a damage control set of notes, I assume.

Blah blah plot recap. They cut the conversation from 13x20 to just Sam n Dean talking about going into the apocalypse world, then "we'll die together" which I can't work out in this context (I'm hoping against hope the recap isn't dictated by BL and TJW is cobbling it together) is irony that Sam then went and died, alone, or a yet-to-come omen of the end of the season. At least BL are handing us over to Dabb for the end of season nonsense so I have to rely on him having a wacky emu war of 1932 hits the present day through Shenanigans sort of season 14 premise to build up and fling at us to make us forget all this.

I love Sam's "we're gonna drain you" speech layered over everyone dramatically walking into apocalypse world.

Christ for half a sec I thought they were gonna recap Gabriel in Cas's crotch

Did Lucifer only start calling Rowena "Red" when he was Vince or is that something I missed from season 11? Because hearing boring ass Lucifer say it just makes me miss when he was Vince.

this is such a full recap of 13x21 I'm basically just writing fresh episode notes for it

I don't think I saw anyone talk about how cool it was when Dean shot a vampire and exploded its head off. Like, understandably Sam was dead and it was a high-pressure situation but

ALSO Cas says "he's gone" and he sure as hell didn't mean "I can't find him" he meant "Sam's dead" but that euphemism landed Cas so much fandom flak for not looking for Sam I am starting to feel like he should have just said "I saw eight vampires chowing down on every part of him they could reach" and traded Dean's feelings for clarity.

...

I love that Cas has evolved as a character to the point he uses a gentle euphemism to spare Dean's feelings because there was once a harsher version of Cas that would have said that.

Are they going to recap the whole Lucifer conversation

I mean it means we can't judge Sam at all for what he did

HUGS

Mary's like holy shit he's really here, all shaky hands and scared to touch him. Good. She was criticised so much from the promo for not caring, I'm gonna gif that in extreme slow mo close up if I get even one (1) pissy anon about her

Dean hangs back, knowing that Sam walking in with Lucifer can NOT be good news, and asking "what happened" is basically already knowing what happened

Oh good we already have "I didn't watch the last episode despite the 40 minute recap" syndrome.

Just quickly to get us up to that point - Lucifer is playing all benevolent when Sam says "he brought me back" with the due horror of the situation. Cas, with Jack at his side, also glaring father-like-son, says "that's not what you do" in defiance of what Lucifer has done - good to call him out for his personality traits not matching his actions, e.g. there's always a catch and we know it, but to Jack if there is to be conflict, is in the face of Lucifer's actions and we're manufacturing that TFW judge Lucifer harsher than he deserves. Even when we know Lucifer said that he'd take Jack by force and Sam is pretty much protecting Jack to take this bargain.

Anyway. Cas asks "how did you get in here" perhaps in the assumption a: they're in a walled compound rather than open woodland with perimeter guards and b: that Gabriel didn't melt all the warding last episode meaning it's not even open woodland with perimeter guards and anti-angel warding, it's just a big ass open space that they strolled into. The implication in Cas's words is that it should have been much harder for Lucifer to show up, that this place is better defended, to the point of bafflement about that. It's a smaller thing, but it's irksome because I know BL don't read the other episodes because they've literally said it in interviews, which makes stray details stand out like a sore thumb, especially when characters sound stupider than they should - rephrasing this "why are you here" or "what's going on" would be a neutral way of asking without mis-characterising the situation or having it come across just... slightly odd. Just seems to be an implication that Lucifer didn't just stroll between the trees and through an open gate as his arrival and more specifically, that there were wards or barriers that could have done anything to stop him, and Cas is talking like it's inconcievable he got past them all - what all? :P

Lucifer says "VIP pass - I'm with the band!" which is extra hilarious that I was missing Vincifer a minute ago, because it's downgraded him from that rock god status he wanted, and now he's acting like the whiny groupie and Sam is the rockstar, TFW and family the band, and Lucifer is desperate to get in with them. Of course the Vincifer arc revealed that Lucifer never was a rock god, a year before he fails at actually being God for the exact same personality flaws, but at this point the acknowledgement is pretty much just for kicks and giggles because seeing him mocked amuses me. Seeing him have to admit there's a higher order he wants in with and TFW etc are more important than him and this is like, backhanded grovelling... yeah.

As soon as Lucifer redirects his attention to Jack, Dean comes storming in. Of course Sam is excluding himself from this conversation in raw shame and I can't even look at his face because it is the Worst(TM) but now we have Cas, Dean and Uncle Gabe defending Jack (BL politely not writing any Gabriel dialogue yet and every minute they don't is a minute I don't have a migraine so thanks guys, appreciate it.) and Dean sounds extremely protectively fatherly and Cas is also then weighing in with parental authority... Yeah, last episode Rowena said all 3 of them were Jack's fathers and it's a different dynamic from Claire but I like seeing Cas and Dean as a parent team and I won't apologise for that :P

But, again, Jack is only 7-8 months old with a still tuning moral compass, a teenager disposition, and Cas and Dean are making parental decrees about who he can talk to, and catching him in the middle of a fight over the right to have access to him without asking his opinion. It could possibly be more frustration over that than genuine desire to meet Lucifer that upsets Jack.

Because he's still like *SCOWL* at Lucifer, still being framed with Cas. Cas says he's "kelly kline's son" and I love that Cas continually reminds Lucifer that Jack had a mother too, and that for all her terrible writing in season 12 at the very least we established "human" and "generically nice and loving towards her baby" as traits to call on :P I like that Cas is determined to emphasise where Jack gets his personality from, and that Cas doesn't define Jack by his powers. But that is ignoring that Jack HAS powers and that does factor into his life in a... rather major way... especially as the way he's been flung around so far he's had so little time to develop a personality outside of having powers, except for Sam encouraging him to watch movies and TV to foster a shared taste before Dean could think to twist Jack to his cruel purpose and have another vote on movie night in his favour, so now it's Sam n Jack vs Dean n Cas and -

Anyway. I'm procrastinating.

Lucifer emphasising that he has powers, even if he gets carried away describing how ruthlessly he uses them, is a way of connecting with Jack that no one else dared, when in 13x06 all of TFW are just like, shit, when I had magic powers I unleashed Lucifer/went on a megalomaniac God rampage/hooked up with Crowley, and immediately all get too ashamed of themselves to sit Jack down and have The Talk so he freaked out and left and tl;dr that's how we're here.

Just, like, shit, show him all 3 Spiderman films where Uncle Ben tells Peter "with great power comes great responsibility", and you're set, guys. Sheesh.

"No. Kill him."

*Gabriel side-eye reaction shot with no dialogue but a fascinated amusehorror about what's going on*

I'm starting to get the feeling BL just plain forgot Gabriel was in this episode, but the rest of the peeps involved were like, uh, he's in this episode because where else would he be, so Speight just came to set like he was supposed to, and hung out in all the scenes as appropriate.

I will now watch and interpret this episode based on that fact.

Sorry, Jack's going through a lot of conflict because Dean just point blank ordered him to melt his biological father on the spot, and I'm bitching about how someone forgot to add any pointers for Gabriel's existence into the script, not even in a character stan way, just in a sheer disbelief way, because of my horror of this being an episode with double digit named important characters in it and all in one location and being handled by the writers who can't even deal with Sam and Dean having distinct personalities in a scene with 3 characters half the time.

Okay, Gabriel ad libbed a "Dean" in there. I'm assuming after like 3 minutes of contact he's quite chuffed to have a nephew and knows Dean can be too harsh so he was being protective.

But yeah, of course it was Dean getting too angry about Lucifer (rightfully too angry, but still, emotionally mis-handling it) and making Jack disappear that sets this off, because Lucifer can just be a hub of chaos based on his reputation and act chill in the knowledge it will infuriate everyone around him into acting irrationally. Dean's been especially anxious and angry this recent year - and is building up to something awful perhaps if he is possessed by the end of the season - so it makes sense with his history of acting irrationally and being harsh on Jack from the start of the season that at the end he causes this.

Look, I'm complimenting character choices as much as being baffled by them, but what is clear is I need to be this in depth to have a chance in hell of grappling this episode >.>

Long shot where everyone just stands there in mute horror and Cas is the only one who looks around like he might see Jack hiding in a tree.

Remember back in 9x11 where I was like... did they just confirm he can see through walls... and literally no one ever replied to me about this hypothesis because it was too batshit? Well I am gonna have to assume that Cas looking around like that would only make sense if he can X-ray vision Jack hiding nearby >.>

Dean's like "He does that when he's scared. Way to go, dad!" despite the fact he was the one responsible for scaring Jack - I mean, Jack is probably FREAKED OUT about Lucifer showing up in general, but Dean's reaction is upsetting as well, especially when he's already emotionally in a bad place and now Dean is asking too much of him.

This episode is where all the stuff about fatherhood lands, and Jack is playing Dean and possibly Sam, while Sam, Dean, Cas and Lucifer are probably all playing shades of John Winchester.

It's a shame Lucifer changed his clothes because the Nick vessel was wearing up to a point always the same clothes that John had been wearing last time we saw JDM on screen, and that was a subtextual "brrr" about Lucifer in season 5 - that he was mirroring John in some ways.

We got enough parents here that they could literally all play, like, a seven deadly sin or something of John's.

Dean, of course, playing explosive anger. Sam seeming at the moment to play the part that shut down in horror and wasn't there for his boys and made all the bad choices for good reasons that exposed them to the bad stuff. Lucifer playing the abusive side that manipulates, uses as bait, and was in general dangerous - the John that Dean thinks of in 5x16 when not saying what he did when Sam ran away. Cas is playing the side that truly loved his boys, but saw their mother in them and there has been plenty of analysis of how this messed up the dynamic in any way from John withdrawing from Dean for reminding him too much to the parentification thing.

Gabriel is like, I'm not meant to be in this episode, so I'll just... go look for Jack... to explain why I was not in the following conversation.......

Lucifer drops the parent thing as soon as Jack is gone and switches to saying they "need" him to use against Michael, while bragging he "beat" him (good to know his ego and lying remains intact - the same boasting that got him in trouble with Heaven when he said he could make new angels and give them their wings back).

Cas immediately does the most #married thing I've ever seen him do to Dean - the "we're on a hike together and I want the trail mix in your bag honey so i'm just gonna open it up and get it out while we stand here" thing.

But with handcuffs.

Look, Dean n Cas are special and perfect in a way no one else can get on their level and sometimes it's because this is their dynamic.

Anyway Cas is being a BAMF to Lucifer and that is a good and important part of his characterisation this season.

Not Taking Shit!Castiel

as I call him

Party!Cas

I can literally see a manifestation of Jared that has left his body in distress, wrapped around Sam in a hug, as he's forced to casually ask Lucifer a question on screen that he didn't ask at any point on their hike down here but now the scene is about everyone else who was standing around watching (except Gabriel, who was never in this scene) so Sam gets to butt in with a question that literally anyone else would have been better suited to ask for both character and mechanical reasons.

Oh that "31 hours" thing was a total lie because of course Lucifer did no such thing. He knows the rift will probably close in either 24 from when it was opened or 24 from when he was punted through it, but that telling them a number that seems to add up that it's from then but plus an extra dose of grace, means they will let it close and they'll all be stuck here, and that's a tomorrow!Lucifer problem and in the mean time he can utterly fuck them over by thinking that they have a comfortable window to operate in. The countdown is meaningless, however. It all depends on if Rowena can strengthen and stabilise the portal on her end, and nothing else.

I love how the contracts are set up in such a way we got all the main stars, "And" Misha, and then we get all the guest stars, "And" Felicia Day. Also this episode is an over-stuffed mess.

RO RO

I didn't think she'd be in this episode, but we see her hard at work with... bagpipe music playing in her head/the Bunker's sound system? *shrugs, moves on* - anyway, either dramatic irony or Buckleming literally are working on the 31 hours thing depending on how much they read about other episodes. I hope dramatic irony. This is a dialogue-less insert so it's very possible TJW stuck it in to help.

"Are you good?" "I'm alive, yeah."

guys, you fuckers know "alive" ain't the same as "good" but in this case Sam's consequences for being alive are the chaos playing out with Lucifer and Jack so that's like... whatever, we can deal with it, so yeah he IS good, and no he doesn't have anything to apologise for, and in a way this is all fairly straightforward so yay!

Now hug

Oh shit, that never normally works

HUGS

\o/

"What are we gonna do about Lucifer?" "I'll handle it. I will, Dean. Let me handle it."

THE POWER OF HUGS. YOU RIDE THAT DOPAMINE RELEASE, YOU BRAVE BEAUTIFUL MOOSE

I feel like I spoke this episode into being by complaining "not enough hugs" as my tagline for last episode.

Anyway Sam is doing WELL because sure he is a guilt ridden bloodstained mess but he has inner strength and outer beauty so he can do this.

And Dean says "okay"

Which holy hell is a character growth of utter, sincere trust in Sam. Not that he wouldn't trust him because, you know, in some ways every moment of character growth is "we already covered this in the opening scene of 5x22 where we sat on the car and had a huge BM" because Kripke spitefully wrapped up the entire story pretty much to piss off every future showrunner when it came to deciding how to write Sam and Dean going forwards. But in the sense that Dean is trusting Sam not to turn this into a ridiculous tragedy again, perhaps. Since that BM was about Dean allowing Sam to die for the cause - as I've been following with Gabriel, I think there's a probable theme of learning to LIVE for the cause now, through a character whose main trait is to die to solve the cause and then run away and not deal with consequences, over and over. And Sam would embody it well to confront Lucifer with a desire to live and not to self-sacrifice, but to fix this so that their family can go home and have a belated pizza birthday party for Sam. FOR SAM.

You aspire to that pizza party, you magnificent moose. Get selfish. YOU DESERVE PIZZA. YOU'RE ALL INVITED

(Except Gabriel)

Nougat!

"Hi Jack, I'm your mom!" At the end of the season we're getting back to all the stuff that has been shoved down since the start. Jack has accumulated more parental figures than he knows what to do with and now he has to sort out how he feels about them, and how much each influences him.

Cas, his father who was supposed to be his guiding figure, the person he was searching for from the moment he stumbled naked and Bambi-like into our world (oh shit he's Bambi, shit. Stay away from Bobby!!) insists that he is most like Kelly, who only Cas can vouch for as a fellow person with a, like, personality, because hell knows if we or any of the other characters spent any time with her :P Cas is supposedly Jack's trustworthy rock, and his insistence that Jack is most influenced by Kelly rings true to the sympathetic audience who sees Jack as a nougat-centred boy. Named by his mother, of course.

"No one would blame you if one day you went looking for your dad" have they been holding this back since 13x23? I feel like this was all recorded then and they set up Jack's arc based around it. Because now he is flashing back to memories of Lucifer bound circa 12x13 or 12x15 when he was calling out to Jack in the womb (while dressed in those John Winchester duds). And in 13x09 they used this in a recap before the episode, and I was like this ain't the last we heard of it, and sure enough all the pressures that have been on Jack since before he was born are finally being addressed one way or another. Having held back the lines from Kelly - his Cas-approved moral beacon - telling him that there's nothing wrong with at least looking for your bio father no matter how much of a prick he may turn out to be - means that this is a pressure that's been on him since 13x03 and despite the fears in 13x09 that he was looking for Lucifer with this in the recap to remind us that Lucifer had been exerting his will on Jack since the womb... Now that Lucifer has found Jack, it's KELLY telling him that it's okay to at least be curious about him in a way that presumably resonates a lot with adopted kids who may have always known they had a terrible bio father but still felt curious/that pressure internally or externally to investigate their roots if only to find out who they themselves are...

I feel like this is an all the cards on the table moment, in any case - something Dabb set up about Jack which has been the secret behind the season, something only Jack knew up to this point, even from us the viewer, and we have been the most active participants in the story this season.

"Jack, don't let anyone tell you who you're supposed to be. You are who you choose to be."

Kelly has all the best words.

But yeah, this may not work well in the context that Lucifer has come seemingly in peace, Sam is hanging his head in shame, knowing the terms of Lucifer's non-violence are that Sam doesn't reveal that Lucifer was gonna storm in and steal Jack, and only making it easy for Lucifer to have access maintains his peace - that same peace in turn which sows the conflict simply by Lucifer existing there.

It plays into Lucifer's game that everyone who he has abused and or killed is there acting with justified rage at his presence, and telling Jack how to react to it based on their past experience. But Nougat is 7 months old and can not make these calls. Which means Kelly's words are now ones of conflict instead of the comfort that he's been choosing to be good and heroic like the real and fictional characters he wished to emulate.

Now we move on to Sam, the first living voice of comfort. "Maybe I'm not worth all this." "Your mom thought you were," Sam says, using her as a bridge from the parental authority (and he's also the one who brought her words to Jack). "So did Cas, so do I." It's building these steps of people Jack knows love him, the moral authorities he looks to, to Sam next. Sam's death worked so well last episode not just because of what it did to Dean, or even how the Lucifer thing was so wonderfully tuned both in Sam's personal arc to be in that room with him and the vampires, but also that Sam is the most hurt by and connected to Lucifer but he's the one walking him into the camp. But also that Sam was the one who reached out to Jack first of the living parents he encountered in life, and therefore caring for Sam and being upset by his death was such a horrible thing for Jack to experience, where we see his anger with Dean, Cas and Gabriel for not bringing Sam to him alive.

We get the montage where Jack's powers were in their early stage, harming people at random, and Sam empathised because of all he'd been through with his own powers. A connection that was so hugely imporant to both of them, that Sam could even start to guide Jack through who he was and how he was related to his powers, and feeling that he didn't belong.

Now we get Jack's mess up where they rushed in to Michael's place, and Kevin self-destructed everyone but him and Mary, and his connection to her - the grandmother sacred object to save and protect because she is Loved and Good and this is how all the men he knows relate to her. (I have talked about how Jack's represented accidentally ingrained toxic masculinity before >.>)

And the scene changes at this point, leaving us with Jack's reflection on not just his powers, but his own personality, and who he is supposed to be, whether it's his choice, his genetics, or just who he is in some intangible cursed way where he hurts people and all around him his choices lead to pain. And how much could Sam's guidance and trust help when even up to last week he was still getting people killed... Bleh.

Since it keeps on working... Someone hug that nougat child by the end of this ep?

Promo scene, now with context!

"Hey momma," Lucifer says, also defining Mary only by her relationship to her sons, and his own creepy interest in her.

She punches him because she is more than just momma

Cas continues to be a BAMF Party!Cas in the background but very in the background, hauling Lucifer away with a sharp word.

(Incidentally that means everyone from the opening was in this scene, except Gabriel, who they forgot to write into this episode.)

So this is post-shower Sam, and I'm gonna assume that he's either dressed in Bobby's clothes or dressed alike to Bobby, and either way it continues the Lazarus Rising parallels to Lucifer's creepy resurrection of Sam after he was dragged away underground after being torn apart in front of his brother - when Dean got back he wore Bobby's clothes for the first part of the episode. Finding Sam new clothes from AU!Bobby's wardrobe both puts him into this military camo jacket which almost certainly has some symbolic relevance at some point but at the very least is important for now that Sam's resolved to deal with Lucifer, and also just has the connection to Bobby.

Anyway now Mary has to break the news that she's planning to stay, after spending months defending and fighting for these people and very much getting embedded in the fight.

Dean looks on blankly, Sam shifts like he's realised what she's going to say as soon as she says "about that..."

And now we have that "need" thing again. Lucifer just said these people needed him to fight. Mary now says they need her too, for the same reason. One of them is probably a LIL MORE SINCERE than the other.

but Dean turns that into "we need you, mom. *WE* do." because she's the thing he needed the most, and this entire process is playing out now about how that even affects them.

And that "we" is sincere because the thing is, Dean might have learned a few times over that is sucks not to have Mary but as horrible as it is, he CAN cope without her but still hasn't been given a chance to fully actualise that in a healthy environment where Mary is not wildly endangered and dangled out of his reach for true character development (in much the same way his shit with Cas has been hovering on the edge since, like, season 8), but Sam - Sam needs her. Every time they lost a chance to find her, he slumped into utter despair. He only kept going as long as he did at the start of the season on the belief she could be retrieved and was alive, and his depression has been a strongly flagged thing since the midseason where he struggled with it bad enough he was having depression sleeps in 13x11, and 13x14 showed how bad it was, and his despair and desperation have been oozing off him.

Dean knows how much they need to bring Mary and Jack back, for SAM.

(Which is why I think there's something horribly disingenous about thinking Mary can just be written off to stay in the AU... Which is fine if you don't like Mary and don't think to look at it through the POV of how her being alive-ness has been wrecking Sam for TWO SEASONS now and taking her away again to teach Dean a lesson he's been through three times already (one of them being the entire run of the show 1-11) about how to lose his mother, just hurts Sam an incredible amount. He deserves that fucking pizza party, and he wants his mother to be more than a mirage that an alarm clock can shatter. And sure the story may not grant this wish instantly, but it's dreadful to want her gone for good because that will harm Sam on a MOLECULAR LEVEL to have an alive and well Mary teased in front of him but never to have her. We need to hold on to her returning in some solid way so that she can throw him a damn birthday party)

Ew, Lucifer calls Cas "old sport" fuck off with that, Gatsby.

"I am not your sport" he may misinterpret the reference (come the fuck on, Metatron must have read that book) but he does it in a way that at least gets in a sharp statement of party!Cas's new line of taking no shit.

But before he can decree for certain that he will not let Lucifer near Jack, refusing to accept Sam's deal without even really knowing that this WAS the deal, Jack shows up because he's at the very least taking some agency in all this.

And at this point, my nervous eyeballing of the clock suggests it is time I go to yoga. D:

I hope Gabriel shows up at some point again. The fact that he was gone looking for Jack but Jack has now been "found" by turning up voluntarily means that Gabriel vanished completely pointlessly unless they were just moving him out of the way because he's not in this episode :P

"Speak of the not-Devil" - in 13x09 they played on this with a "speak of the devil" preceding Jack's entrance. As usual, Buckleming taking a clever line someone else used, and turning it around in a way that's just a bit too silly and contrived >.>

"Son." "it's Jack."

Good. Please keep Lucifer at that arms' length. Regret will only come if you let him in >.>

"It's not a good idea to talk to him." "i'm not going to talk, I'm going to listen"

Sweetie, that's even worse. I know you're curious but oh boy Lucifer is evil, unredeemable and a master manipulator. I know what Jack means - he's not opening a dialogue, he just wants to hear what Lucifer would say to him, and not talking indicates hearing him out without weighing his words with any critical weight, but on the other hand, it can come across that he's going to sit and let Lucifer fill his head with whatever, without arguing or reasoning what he says, and it depends on how much you think Jack can resist being taken in by it

And in this scenario Lucifer's smugness and everyone else's horror of the situation already has a strong weight. We can HOPE that Jack prevails but I'm nervous that Lucifer might exert some magical influence over him as much as I feel like a season worth of Jack nearly is enough to make me feel like we are supposed to trust his instinct to be good, unaltered. If there is to be tension about it, that has to be affected.

Oh dear, now Dean's ranting to Mary about what he and Sam have been through, saying "we" about every statement, including "we've been possessed" but isn't it true that almost nothing has ever possessed Dean except a few small MotW moments of control? We statements possibly creating a dramatic irony gap to fill with Dean being possessed, if he is.

He says they never walk away ever, even when they should have, which is acknowledging at least that there were times when with hindsight they should have left each other well enough alone. Thing is he's talking about how he and Sam clung to each other when it was just them, but for Mary it's not about walking away from family here, it's about walking away from this war where people are being killed and she has been helping them to save people and to fight back against the angels. To her, leaving now just because there's a door back to her old universe - which she has felt adrift in ever since she was resurrected - is walking away. And this is a cause she can believe in far more than the bad cause she got in with the BMoL. There's a very very clear right and wrong here.

Dean is trying to argue that this isn't a fight that they can win, that Apocalypse World is doomed, and they're just going to have to leave it to its fate.

Sam is inclined to listen to Mary more often anyways, went with her on the BMoL thing, and this time reads it as her making up her mind, rather than her being right - he is telling Dean the argument is not worth it, rather than immediately that he understands where Mary is coming from. More than he has seen how Mary feels. I hope he says they should stay and help.

"Mom doesn't to leave these people."

...

"So let's take them with us."

I mean. I guess it works???

You just going to empty all the survivors of this war into another universe???

This feels... unsustainable.

Oh okay he wants to get them out the way long enough to work out how to fight Michael, then to come back and fight the fight. More like, the portal is the time pressure here, and on the other side of it is safety and resources and time to think.

Except for everyone who they can't take with them in the first place.

This episode is titled "Exodus" so I mean it COULD end up being about this exact thing, or that's referring to some other thing and this is just a concept they're floating but not what ends up happening. If they set off with the entire camp, they're going to be very vulnerable.

Anyway seems Mary likes the plan?

And she looks proud of Sam so that's something.

Dean says they've got 9 busting out. Uh, were they planning on taking AU Charlie and Bobby back with them? I am genuinely confused because the core team is 6, and they should PROBABLY not litter the AU and take Lucifer back with them so 7... Maybe Ketch if they take back everyone from their world who shouldn't be there? But who is 9??

Mary says 25 people which is not like... a whole army at least. I'm legit confused about the numbers, especially as it seems like more than 25 people at the camp, never mind that Mary was talking in 13x20 about how many people they had to look after now. I don't know, maybe it's just how many extras they could convince to come/plausibly film. But it's weird to me that this whole thing is... well, a thing.

Okay so Jack is all resolutely glaring at Lucifer, and Cas is allowed to hang out and stand there watching, so I guess this is ... something at least between them.

Mrghhh I hate Buckleming dialogue so much especially when Lucifer is saying it. Starting with "I don't know what to say" is admitting writing weakness, that they didn't have a hook or enough sense of the characters for them to come up with any declaration or question or comment that would have been more meaningful. Even just a sense of drama to have Lucifer introduce himself and Jack to immediately ask his first question.

"Why does everyone hate you?"

Because you SUCK

Also: apparently no one wants to tell Jack in graphic detail all the pain and suffering that Lucifer has inflicted to them personally >.>

And then, Lucifer said, yeah we've been waiting for this moment all season in a way, but not only is his blathering on but then when asked a hard question, it turns into an excuse to make him say "fake news" and sure the comparing him to Trump thing is funny a few times (I mean he was literally possessing a president when Jack was conceived) but it's taking tension out of this moment entirely. This should be for Jack, and he doesn't deserve this awful writing where nothing Lucifer says matters, because he's just rambling on in generalities and answers which sound like all the moaning he's ever moaned about.

Like, yeah, sorry kiddo, your bio dad is a whining whiner who has had the same line about how misunderstood he is as long as we've known him, which he usually says when standing on a literal pile of corpses he made while complaining no one gets him and everyone typecasts him as evil.

But yeah, Jack's question is just met with rubbish being spewed, instead of Lucifer even trying to explain the misunderstandings he's had personally with TFW

He's just talking about how humans suck and are easily led into temptation instead of focussing on why he feels the need to do that.

Oh him talking about Kelly to Jack is absolutely revolting. I'm confiscating the nougat child and BL can have him back when they earn him.

Thank goodness Cas is here to scowl at Lucifer for us.

"That's a vast over-simplification" thanks buddy.

But yeah he's right, the point is that Lucifer is talking in ways where he can rabbit on about ethics and shit without falling into real human pain. He doesn't talk about how his betrayed Kelly's trust, tried to kill her, or sent a minion to harass her while calling her the container. He talks about how awesome it was to kiss her. (And not even getting into him cheerfully talking about losing his virginity to Kelly like it was some sweet first love thing rather than rape by deception and some new gross evil he had discovered was a horrible thing to do to people.)

Also, fuck Buckleming for pretending they can stump Cas with "I was locked up for eternity so how did I do all this evil?" we literally have seen how. It's called the plot of the fucking show.

It's ethics as angels would learn it 101.

WE FUCKING MET GADREEL A FEW YEARS AGO, MAYBE ASK HIM

Cain who?

AZAZEL? You fuckers killed the last YED like 4 weeks ago

Fuck you entirely

That is in ratio of intelligence and easy answer on hand to presented moment, the biggest stupidity drop they've ever made. And that's saying something.

Somewhere Edlund is clutching his head and he doesn't know why but he doesn't feel so good.

ABBADON?

So, there's this place called "hell"...

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmrgghghhghghgfghfgghfhaskjfhaskjghfsjlasdjaghfs paskfh;asdgkflsdjg sgkjhlfk gha

Well, the zen from yoga lasted all of like 4 minutes of episode

Anyway now we have to deal with Lucifer's hurr blurr about waaah God locked me up because I stood up for myself and told the truth, which, again. One note character. He met Chuck and didn't even change. Rowena got more character development out of meeting Chuck than Lucifer did. Heck, I think even Cas got a little personal satisfaction just from ignoring him and finding a clearer sense that his path doesn't lie with God's validation.

And then he starts talking about how garbage humans are and we get Cas's reaction because Cas loves humanity, and Lucifer is like "he loved humans so much he couldn't see their flaws" and Cas is like excuse you I tell Dean to get his muddy boots off the chairs in the Bunker like six times a day but I still fucking married him."

But telling Jack how humans suck is not, like, the best path, because Jack has spent a lot of time bonding with humans.

"I had my reasons, I just want the opportunity to get better" dude, you are so the abusive fuckwad of a drunk father who comes stumbling in late to the kid's life, promising to do better while in no way capable of it because mean and selfish person...

Jack's micro nod to wanting to do better shows that despite every indication that this was one of the worst written conversations ever, Lucifer has somehow manipulated him with this nugget that Jack feels like he wants to be a good person and Lucifer's promise he wants to be a better person is affecting him, and A: Alex is a great actor to try and sell this and B: honestly Jack falling for that garbage rant is like... the second biggest stupidity drop ever >.>

Cas is like, fuck this entire concept you fucking fuckers, I'm out of here to go sit with Gabriel wherever he is. We're gonna... go skip rocks.

Nope, Cas went for emotional back up, seeing that Jack was starting to be suckered in by this and decided he needed Sam, Dean and Mary to come Winchester some sense into Jack

Uncle Gabriel is having a great side adventure

He is probably doing the equivalent of End!Cas in this camp.

Ew they're sitting together, just chilling ew ew ew ew ew

Lucifer going on about how Jack's grandfather is literally God, trying to stir a little egomania in Jack.

Remember in 13x07 when he was so excited to know if Jack killed anyone? If he had a killer instinct?

Yay Dean comes to shout at Jack and Lucifer, I have never been happier to tick the Everyone Is Irrationally Angry BL Bingo Square.

"Dean, he's in chains." "His mouth isn't."

That's the good side of Buckleming banter. Have we swapped writers?

"I need to know about my powers. My family." "Jack, we are your family."

Oh no, Cas is starting to sound a bit desperate. Pleading with Jack to remember he's their family. I don't wike it *hands Cas a blanket*

Sam showing up like, "You have no idea who Lucifer really is"

Like, I know it's horrible but could you go into graphic detail right about now?

Or... is he still bound by the promise to let Lucifer see Jack?

"Jack..." "Dean! He's my father!"

Aaaaack, so there's the slip from 13x01 where we thought he meant Lucifer but it was actually Cas, and 13x09 where he disowns Lucifer casually and talks about how they're his real family instead...

Oh ew I paused the screen on Lucifer looking all smug, hang on

Anyway, yeah. This is the first time Jack has proclaimed that, and I think this is revealing the greatest miscommunication this season - something we picked out a while back, in the first few episodes, about how everyone was so unwilling to tell Jack just how horrible Lucifer even was. I mean. I don't think he even knows for sure that he's the reason why Cas was dead? And does he know how Sam was destroyed by having powers BECAUSE he was raised to be Lucifer's vessel? And - even basic info like this, if not the murder and torture in his wake...

Without telling Jack the harsh truth, he's vulnerable to falling prey to Lucifer's manipulations, because for him, new to the world, it's just not a given that Lucifer is evil. Even "speak of the devil" is ironic, because they DON'T speak about him, and so that phrase is meaningless to Jack because it doesn't describe anything about evilness.

And I think this goes back in a way to the theme of confronting trauma, that TFW just do not talk about what has hurt them, aren't open when they ARE hurting, at least until it's too late, and so the damage that Lucifer has done to them, even when he can taunt he's in a room full of all his favourites to kill and torture, when he's killed Rowena twice, tried to kill Gabriel and Dean, and caused the worst suffering to Sam, they just aren't a Lucifer damage support group >.> And all season they never told Jack a full story about who they were, what they've done, and what has happened to them along the way...

Anyway I guess Edoras is moving to Helm's Deep now?

Ew Jack and Lucifer are walking together

I can't even see Cas in shot so I'm gonna assume he's bringing up the rear with Uncle Gabriel

I mean

I hope someone friggin told Gabriel they were leaving. He's gonna pop back to camp in half an hour like, so I looked everywhere and I could not find - waaait a minute. Where is everyone? Are we playing hide and seek? Sexy hide and seek? .... Nope, I've just been forgotten.

I'm not in this episode, am I?

Anyway Dean sends Sam back to lurk on the Jack and Lucifer conversation

Which leaves Mary and Dean free to chat!

Dean is like, I am listening but I am also sulking. About everything. Mary starts explaining that Nougat is getting hardened by war, having been fighting and losing people. Turning into one of them, a scarred, miserable Winchester.

I love that Mary is defending Jack, that she has spent so much time with him - more than anyone else - that she is the sympathetic character towards Jack. He's not an object to obtain to her, he's very much a kid who has landed in it and is doing his best.

And, of course, a surrogate for the sons she never got to know growing up, when they were being fucked up in the exact same way Jack is currently being fucked up, which means, hopefully, she will learn to relate to them better through seeing what Jack goes through??

And cut to Jack telling Sam that he was telling his father that together they can take down Michael. Which... Isn't super reassuring tbh, if you flip it to season 5 where Lucifer getting a surefire powerful boost like a Nougat to help him take out Michael would have been dooooooom and that is why they sent Jesse on a surfing holiday in Australia.

This also means Sam has to walk alongside Lucifer and Jack all chill and like... we're on a walk together

Ooops and Sam is like, but that's not the plan, and Jack is like, hi, while you were gone I fixated on killing my AU!Uncle Mikey.

Again, Mary reasons that Jack's interest in Lucifer is not unexpected, based on curiosity, and Dean complains about the threat that Lucifer corrupts him. Mary sounds both confident in Jack not being evil that it seems a little laughable to her, and also that Jack will soon see Lucifer's true nature.

And honestly, this is the longest Lucifer has held it together possibly EVER without doing something petty. Maybe just because with the handcuffs on he can't get irritated and melt people who are annoying him. I'm not sure how much restraint he has left not to say something wildly wrong. Like a homophobic relative at a family dinner with all your nice gay family, and you know Some Shit will leave their mouth sooner or later, even though they're playing it nice and got a pride pin before they knocked on the door.

Mary is proud of her big gay family

sorry that metaphor wandered off

not sorry.

Hi Cas, love it when you *gestures him walking innocuously around a corner*

"Hey, did you find him?"

"No, Gabriel isn't in this episode for some reason. I think BL have a restraining order?"

LOL here he is! RUN LIL GUY RUN!

"ANGELS!"

Aw no, the handcuffs. They were Dean n Cas's personal ones.

blah blah joke about impotence, Lucifer got to melt some things so he might be able to stay chill for a while longer having scratched the itch to murder...

I just took a lil break to complain to Mittens about the geography, she assured me Singer Salvage Yard isn't in South Dakota in the AU, and I'm just like... debating whether I think this is better or worse. it's a headache, for sure

Hi AU!Bobby! They immediately discuss how Bobby decided not to put his salvage yard in Sioux Falls because the weather sucks, and I am sitting here wondering if TJW looked at the script and was like... there's no Gabriel... they WALKED from Ohio to Bobby's on the way to Kentucky... I -

Why do they always give me their scripts to un-fuck?

AU Bobby makes me miss Bobby while simultaneously filling the void not having Bobby puts in me and I feel weird

He's telling them their idea sucks in colourful language and it's like oh I am home, but at the same time... it's not in Sioux Falls

Dean automatically protective of Charlie when Ketch is around and again, the weirdest feeling that Ketch killed Charlie hits me, but he still didn't and it's still just because BL like him so much they've made him their new toy.

Bleh more Jack and Lucifer

He's now explaining the archangels to Jack. Mansplaining, in fact, since Jack already knows.

it seems this was just a way to say they were both tortured by Michael in order to bond some more

Lucifer forces Jack to do a high five and Jack is baffled

"That's your Uncle Gabe" *points at him throwing rocks at a car* Jesus christ he's literally... off throwing rocks... I was kidding when I said he was off doing it earlier... I was kidding... holy shit they literally forgot to write Gabriel into this episode.... in the script it was "then there's your uncle gabe" without pointing, just, in the abstract, like, yeah, he exists, and Jack is like yeah I sort of noticed him existing. And then they both pause. Funny, that. Gabriel existing. Anyway - and they move on?

Woah, no, they're actually going to talk to him.

Hey, Gabriel, did you know you're in this episode?

His expression says, wow, no I did not. But now I hear them coming over, I need to Deal With This Shit

Lucifer describes him as "class clown" which is automatically reducing him back down to the Trickster, and of course he's said tricks are for kids and is trying to be all mature and the new version of Gabriel.

I hope new and improved Uncle Gabriel tells Jack what's what, even if it's just with eyebrows and pointed looks

"And you're an ass clown"

That works.

Oh ew, Lucifer immediately pulls Gabriel's torture on him as a hey how are you lol that was funny when you were tortured and metaphorically raped for 7 years huh?

Jack, again, seems to lack the context of what happened to Gabriel, the state they found him in, all the stuff we've seen on screen, so the dramatic irony of what we know vs what Jack knows...

Also how does Lucifer even know?

Oh whatever.

Gabriel has no time for this, and turns to walk off, like, fine, I didn't even want to be in your stupid episode anyway. Lucifer follows, Jack walking along beside him, eyebrows furrowed.

Gabriel has a headache at Lucifer rambling on (and they've literally just forgotten about Raphael. Wonderful.) Anyway, super relatable.

Here he goes. "You think Dad was a bad guy and you were a victim?" Well Scout will be happy, Gabriel standing up for the ole God n Gabe relationship. I mean, much as it sucks, Gabriel still has a connection with Chuck that no one else does, just in personality.

"That was just your excuse." "For what?" "For it all, Lucifer! For it all!"

Thank fucking God for Gabriel. He wasn't even meant to be here so he's like the one person who can call Lucifer out, from outside the narrative, fed up of this whole stupid charade.

Gabriel is not a Buckleming character, he's here because he deigned to be, and he will leave on his terms too.

(I've legit been having issues that I keep thinking Speight-directed episodes are Gabriel episodes, and at this point he's such a meta character to me I literally think he's transcended the story)

Nice of him to walk off screen with both middle fingers raised.

Oh my GOD how stupid was that trap that Charlie just fell for?

My unspoken comment from earlier that the dumbest drop in intelligence Buckleming ever inflicted on a character was Charlie's death feels like I should have said it, because making her fall for that dumbass trap was just... wow.

Wow.

Blah blah manufactued drama, Ketch has stubble now, apparently a conscience about not letting Charlie get killed because Dean was once attached to his world's version of her

Goddd I am with Andy the sceptic about their fairytale world where everything is pretty. They don't want to abandon the fight, and like, there's a sizeable chance Dean and Sam just wanna shove Mary through a portal with them and call it a day.

Why are we getting this when we could be getting Sam and Dean learning from Mary how they need to fight for this cause against Michael? Whyyyyyyy. This whole plan is so stupid.

I mean, it wouldn't be wholly stupid for Sam to pop back through the rift, grab all the weapons he's promising, and come back to arm them, in their world, on their turf, somewhere defensible from angels.

Like, even the odds a bit so they can finish this fight so they can take Mary and Jack home and stop stressing about this

Now Sam's making his Inspiring Speech of the season, about how even if they aren't people from the AU and were never born there, all these masses of people fighting back are still like them and represent what they do. Like, how all the random hikers you might meet know vampire lore these days. Everyone's a hunter in these times.

Andy narrows his eyes

cut to: Ketch being tortured and using American monopoly references to fuck with the angels.

he is presumably secretly American, because there's no way he'd casually think of American locations on the board unless he coincidentally grew up with an American monopoly board for some reason

While complaining about this Mittens reminded me that Metatron made a reference to always winning by building hotels on the expensive square and that gives us an indirect connection between the two of them for some reason.

Ooooooooh the exterior reveals they're being tortured in the creepy Gas n Sip.

Well. I wonder who is about to show up

Twitchy!Castiel

Who inexplicably looks 10 years younger than our Cas.

Dean really did a fucking number on him.

Anyways of course Castiel is the expert... He's terrifying when he gets going, and this one hasn't been Dean'd.

Our Cas seems to be doing some scary manhandling on this guy

And some really scary looming

Uhoh

And that was with one lil look from Dean, like, go on, babe, read his mind and do what you do

No, apparently he wasn't even reading the guy's mind, he was just hurting him

Lucifer's whining, in the least breaking news to ever break.

Gabriel's like, Dean told us to stay behind, because I'm not in this episode, so I have to babysit your dumb ass before you say anything else stupid to my nephew.

"Do you see any version of this where he sticks by you?"

I mean that's probably what's stressing Lucifer out, knowing he has nothing to offer as a father. Gabriel is kind of enjoying it. And sitting watching Lucifer from a distance, where he can mock him. Again, he seems weirdly out of the story, the one person who isn't affected by all the bullshit and somehow has this glossy shine on him, un-Buckleming'd even as the empire crumbles around him.

It's like... he doesn't feel a part of all this because he's seeing clearly and calling out Lucifer in real time instead of standing dumbly while Lucifer poses questions to prove he's good that only a 7 month old babyman would fall for.

"He's a kid. He likes shiny objects and magic tricks."

:')

"But he's not like you. You can see it in his eyes." YUPPERS. He has Cas's eyes.

his father's eyes

(Thinking of which, I had to go back because my video went a bit wonky... am I right in thinking AU!Castiel has a bad eye? That's not meta interesting at aaall)

Gabriel mentions his mother's bloodline, the Winchesters' influence... is Cas included in that?

"He'll see who - what - you are."

"I've changed."

"Dude. It's me. I've known you since the stars were made. You can't change. You're incapable of empathy, love. You live to be worshipped! Or feared! Or both!"

And now Gabriel is calling out that Lucifer says that God made up all the lies about him, which has been his fallback for literally ever about how woe is me misunderstood God was so meeeean

It's like Gabriel and Lucifer were having that argument back in 5x19 and then Lucifer killed Gabriel and then 7 years passed and now they're alone together again and they just pick up where they left off.

Gabriel praising how humans are innocent and beautiful has weird overtones of how protective Dean was of the Scooby Gang and I think that is adorable.

Gabriel is officially tearing Lucifer a new one after dropping by to be in the episode and I am gonna stan this fucker forever.

LOL he made Lucifer cry

God, I mean I am never ever going to feel sympathetic to Lucifer, but if Gabriel helps him like, sacrifice himself for Jack later at some point, I'm cool with that.

AAAH AU CASTIEL IS THE WORST. I HATE IT. MISHA, NO

Nice coat though.

In a horrifying way.

They did, however, find a coat that actually makes Misha's shoulders look huge in a sexy way

you can hear the Cas voice in there, but it's so messed up.

This guy is BFFs with Bartholomew I bet.

okay I'm rewinding and actually trying to pay attention to wtf he's saying.

It's so messed up that he's in a Gas n Sip. It's like showing how broken his soul is. And the fact his soul is a Gas n Sip absolutely murders me

Also AU Castiel doesn't have a soul, probably, unlike our Cas

He's mirroring Dick Frigging Roman while eyeing up Charlie and telling her there aren't many like her.

Castiel mirroring Dick in a Gas n Sip is how to cram in the most awfulness you possibly could to show a ruined version of Cas.

He's parting his hair on the other side.

It seems Castiel pretty much has destroyed himself by psychically harming humans.

Can we rewind so our Cas stops torturing that other guy so that he doesn't remotely turn into this guy?

OH NO, I was gonna ask where Jack was back in the previous scene but it seems he's flapped off to deal with this before I could ask him where he was.

Now he's gonna meet Worst!Castiel

Meanwhile: stabby stabby, the rest of the Winchesters are here. Never mind, Cas got the intel from that other guy. Jack isn't going rogue :P

I hope party!Cas doesn't meet worst!Castiel

Party!Cas is beating up Worst!Castiel

"More than one of us. Fascinating." "I've gotten used to it."

Party!Cas is basically just a bundle of one-liners in a trenchcoat.

LOL Dean freeing Ketch but will we ever be free of Dean x Ketch nonsense?

Sam randomly hugs AU Charlie because he hasn't got over the guilt of getting our Charlie killed, and can't separate the two on instint of seeing her face again and this is awful.

When I said more hugs I meant more NICE hugs

"Sorry"

She punches him in a hey it's cool we all freak out sometimes

Oh jesus christ after the saving hanging Ketch by getting all up in his space, now I turn out to have had the screen paused on Ketch and Dean getting all cosy and looking at each other in alarming proximity

"oooh... hello. You saving me? It's about bloody time."

Dean looks furious

good.

"You aligned yourself to humans?" "I *vastly* prefer them to angels"

Love you too, babe

"Don't think you are better than me. We are the same." "Yes. We are." *STAB*

Bye bye worst!Castiel

Man, I never thought I'd be glad to see Cas die, but that was satisfying watching Cas kill this awful version of him who had been utterly destroyed by being an angel while affirming to himself that humans are the best. And being an angel sucks and is destructive to his very sense of self.

I like that a lot.

Long live Party!Cas

And we begin and end the season with a dead Cas

I mean we're not quite at the end but we're close enough that this counts as bookending symmetry.

"For whatever reason, I have a good feeling about you two"

it seems a little worrying that apparently the entire lot unanimously voted to go to the pretty AU. I think they're making a joke that Bobby feels some sort of cosmic fatherly vibe towards them but in truth Bobby complained they were idjits with terrible plans quite often, as he did earlier... I'm not sure it's going to be good that everyone Exoduses with them and I feel like them celebrating a win with 10 minutes to go before whatever leads into the finale is a terrible thing. All in all we've got a last 10 minutes of a Buckleming episode vibe going on and I do not like it.

Okay Lucifer helping Dean revive the bus is the weirdest cooperation I've ever seen on this show.

Making Lucifer drive so they can keep an eye on him is the worst idea ever and I don't care what Dean justifies it with, Gabriel came rushing in from left field to say hey hey hey this is a dumbass idea and Dean's like shut up you're not in this episode but Gabriel is the one voice of reason here because he's the guy who's not in the episode so can see it for what it is.

Dean's supposed to always want to drive.

Where is Nougat going?

Why are you even upset?

Oh, he's realised they're all fleeing to plan to kill Michael later and even though this plan was all worked out a while back he is reacting now - is it just that they didn't include him in the planning and he buckleminged between the cracks of an episode ABOUT HIM and only found out now...

He's like but I wanna kill Michael NOW

Okay, no, he's got a cool heroic mindset

but you know what, after hanging with Lucifer, there is something about how they've put Jack in a position where he is driven to Kill Michael just like Lucifer was originally driven to Kill Michael. Of course everything around them and the utter horror of worst!Cas proves that killing Michael is necessary for this world to even have a sliver of a chance of survival, but at the same time, Jack is now irrationally stuck on a mission purpose identical to the one that once powered Lucifer to start the entire apocalypse. And having Jack mirroring that need, to the point of irrationally leaving the party bus when the plan IS to regroup, arm up and return to kill Michael, shows that he has -

At least this one brewed up fast, because the longer you leave the apocalypse to stew, the more complicated it is to start a fight with Michael??

Sam goes after Jack because he cares and then Lucifer saunters over because he wants to latch onto Jack, and once again we get Jack caught between two parent figures - in his flashes of choosing who he wants to be after thinking about Kelly's message he had flashes of both Lucifer and Sam - not Cas and Dean.

Look

I'm just sayin' as a random aside

which I should not be saying but I mean I hope I earned some sam!girl cred earlier so let me ruin this

because they're framing it as Lucifer vs Sam

it sets aside Cas n Dean

and they're like

A different set of parents on like, a different level. If Jack has 4 dads, Cas and Dean are one pair and Sam and Lucifer are the other... Thematically... but like... also Cas and Dean are weirdly in a different sort of world when it comes to relating to Jack apparently.

Sam is all concern about Jack, Lucifer tries to talk Jack out of it with seeming concern which is really just about how he isn't very good at fighting Michael. Lol.

UUUGHHHH Sam having to hear Jack say "my father makes a valid point" and then Lucifer claps Jack on the shoulder and walks off with him in front of Sam and it feels like Lucifer somehow retroactively has kicked off this whole nonsense JUST to spite Sam.

Oh my GOD Dean isn't even ON the party Bus with Lucifer what the heck who PLANNED this plan

I like Gabriel just chilling with like, an RPG launcher or something.

nice callback to last episode re: lol penis

Also Jack is sitting with Uncle Gabriel in the jeep! Good! I hope he is saying lots of good sensible Nice Uncle Who Gives You Candy things to Jack, and then makes a coin appear out of his ear.

Portal's closing

Run run run

Amazingly, Lucifer's maths about the portal were not wrong?

I mean... do we just assume that that was a lucky guess?

Rowena has been reading the entire time, and I can tell why we haven't seen her since the start of the episode but it's still a total waste of her.

Maybe Gabriel was slipping off and hooking up with her whenever he wasn't in the episode.

You know I am not 100% Rowena was in this episode either. I do appreciate her and Ketch making eye contact like, oh, you.

With 6 minutes to go you know some serious shit is about to go down

JACK IS BACK

Lol Sam is like no you stay here, Lucifer. Fuck you being in the same universe as Jack for any length of time.

Okay we got a Mary and an AU Bobby here, good, good. And a Charlie! Wonderful!

The last 6 minutes of the episode might be all like, 30 people coming through the rift one by one to dramatic music.

If the Winchesters don't make it back then there's going to be one hell of a kegger thrown here by all the gnarly post-apocalypse peeps suddenly filling the Bunker unsupervised.

CAS!

He does not count as a responsible adult. Party!Cas is in the Bunker, currently unsupervised, with Rowena.

That is going to be a fucking wild kegger.

Oh good they sped up the dramatic entering the portal bit when it was randos we've never met who are now all filling the Bunker

Guys, you do realise if you leave BOTH archangels on the other side of the rift... you don't have any grace on YOUR side of the rift?

I mean

that... did occur to you?

Oh great the angels just crashed down on top of them and of all the people on screen, we get a close up of Andy the doubter dead. Nice going, BL

Michael! Badass wings in the dust!

Oh that's why Asmodeus did the ridiculous grace hurling. They wanted Lucifer to do it to Michael.

Now Michael is doing it to Lucifer

Just... like... kill him for us... put us out of our misery...

Gabriel, no, don't do this... D: If I have to watch you die again I'm suing.

Like, worst time to suddenly show up in the episode.

Dude you can not die, you have to come back and run Heaven and bang Rowena on the weekends.

Sam and Dean are like... just not running away.

I'm suing.

Gabriel better be behind Michael and stab him now

I mean I'm just assuming he's standing behind a tree like, wow, it's amazing how often people fall for that

"How did you think this was gonna end?"

I love you Sammy

You get the no.1 dad mug

Oh good, Michael is alone with a weakened miserable Lucifer. Can you just stomp him out of rage now?

Cut to: Bunker kegger.

I immediately spot Cas and Dean standing together not in the main party, with AU Charlie. AU Bobby and Mary together, Rowena sitting down needing a rest, and Sam wearing just a t-shirt and chilling with her. Ketch and the girl from the vampire mine sitting either side of the stairs, probably both like ???? about events, from completely opposite directions.

AU Charlie and Ketch are weirdly friends. I am so conflicted.

FINALLY FOUND JACK

he doesn't look very happy. He's a corner child. Sitting in the corner. With a beer he is like 20 and a bit years too young to drink.

Anyway guess Samwitch is still on the cards even if we can be really miserable about Gabwena or whatever you call it ending too soon.

Cas and Dean are talking about I guess a toast to Gabriel, presumably prompted by Cas being really sad about Gabriel, probably because now there's no one to teach him magic tricks to amuse Jack.

Cas really isn't much fun at parties, now I think about it

I'm not backing down from my stance. He just needs to get BETTER at parties.

"Been here 5 minutes and he's taken over the joint"

I've wanted to see Bobby in the Bunker a million years and while I am miserable it's not the real thing, it does still feel at least kinda right.

*sighs forever*

What is Jack going to do

Why are people toasting Sam and Dean but not Cas

Cas isn't toasting them either, he's standing there with his hands in his pockets like yeah I always knew these two idiots were the best, thanks for catching up.

Jack continues staring into the void

Cas continues standing there

Awww no why did you give us a closeup of Gabriel lying there? Also his eyes were wide open. What does that mean? I mean is it because no one's bothered to close them, or is it a symbolic thing?

anyway Michael you are not stabbing Lucifer fast enough. Don't bargain with him. He just wants to go be a pest in the main world.

What the hell was that last look about? UGH. Do not want.

tl;dr Gabriel is probably fine. He sneaked through the portal when no one was looking and flapped off.

Rowena will probably get a series of bizarre sexy presents delivered to whatever hotel room she's in

Cas needs to work at parties

Jack is contemplating what the hell fathers' day even is.

#13x22 #season 13 spoilers #hmm #buckleming appropriate wank for ts #my stuff

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dreamwritesimagines · 7 years ago

Text

Bad Habit 8 - Riverside [Billy Russo x Reader]

A.N.: Your feedback means so much to me, my lovelies! <3 Thank you, and merry Christmas! <3

Characters: Billy Russo x Reader, Karen Page, Frank Castle, Matt Murdock, Foggy Nelson

Summary: Pinky promises are meant to be kept.

Click here for: Bad Habit 1, Bad Habit 2, Bad Habit 3 Bad Habit 4 Bad Habit 5 Bad Habit 6 Bad Habit 7

Click here to see the playlist for the first 4 parts!

Warning: Explicit language, cussing, mentions of sex, kissing.

Word Count: 4286

Please tell me what you think

Gif’s not mine!

You’d had your fair share of tense moments in your life. Incidents involving your brother, incidents involving confrontation, and everything between them, they all had made you feel like you were about to pass out from nervousness, but waiting for Matt in a questioning room took the cake.

And when he actually walked in, your head spun from the sudden relief.

“Matt!”

Matt shot the police a curt smile, “May I have a word with my client, officer?”

The police eyed you up and down and pushed his chair back, then left the room while you ran your fingers through your hair, bouncing your leg. Matt heaved a sigh as he heard the door close.

“Please tell me you didn’t say anything.”

You shook your head, then scowled at yourself in your head.

“No.”

“Did you sign anything?”

“I know what not to do.” You muttered, “No. I just waited for you.”

“Thank God…” Matt muttered and crossed his arms, “Karen and Foggy are outside by the way. He’s speaking to the cops and she says she will kill you with your own gun as soon as you walk outside.”

“Because I haven’t suffered enough today?”

“Well, it is still afternoon,” he stated and ran a hand over his face, “We leave you alone for like 5 minutes and you start shooting guns? Seriously?”

“I didn’t shoot anything!” You lowered your voice, “Besides, what the fuck happened to lawyer-client professionalism?”

“You don’t pay me.”

“I got you a round of shots last night, you ungrateful asshole.”

“Also, your fleeing the scene doesn’t exactly help.”

“I didn’t flee!”

“Usually, after an accident you wait for the police.”

“Oh really, Matty? You wait for the police?” You mimicked his deep voice, “It’s Hell’s Kitchen, who the fuck cares about that shit anymore?! New York has been invaded by the fucking aliens twice by now, Devil of Hell’s Kitchen runs around and saves people at night, there is a superhero in every corner and people flip over a gun shot? Jesus, priorities!” You leaned back, sulking, “Wasn’t even my gun.”

Matt closed his eyes, “I know you think it makes it better, but it actually makes it worse,” he said “Are you telling me you fired a gun you weren’t even allowed to have with you in the first place?”

“I didn’t fire shit!” You lowered your voice and Matt frowned,

“I don’t get it.”

“I-“ You cleared your throat, “I-um… someone was trying to hurt me last night.”

“Who?”

You bit inside your cheek, scratching at the table and Matt made a face as if he could hear it.

“Y/N,” he insisted, “Who?”

“My brother.”

Matt paused “I didn’t know you had a brother.”

“That would be because I wish I didn’t have a brother.” You mumbled and he drummed his fingertips on the table,

“Care to elaborate?”

You covered your face with your hands, then rubbed at your eyes, “Well …” You looked at him, “Okay, so, long story short. I have a brother, who’s a very, very dangerous psycho. He set up this mechanism in my apartment which looked like a booby trap and it’d basically… It’d shoot me as soon as I opened my door. But um… thankfully Billy was there, so the bullet didn’t hit me.” You pulled at your sleeves, “I can’t go to prison, Matt, I haven’t even watched Orange Is The New Black yet!”

That seemed to make him smile but only for a moment, “So no one was hurt?”

“No, it hit the wall.” You flinched in your chair as the door opened but Foggy walked inside.

“Any problems?”

Matt shook his head, “What are they saying?”

“I have some good news and some bad news.” Foggy said, “Good news is that, they’re gonna let you go. You’re welcome.”

You let out a breath and leaned your head to the table, “Can anyone else hear the Hallelujah Chorus, or is it just me?”

“Bad news…” Foggy trailed off, making you raise your head, “Now you’re also in debt to the police department.”

“Oh Jesus…”

“And um… You might want to pick up some extra shift at the café.” He put the document in front of you and you skimmed the lines, your eyes widening as you saw the number.

“Oh fuck!”

“That’s what irresponsibility gets you.”

Matt shook his head again, “Wasn’t her fault.” He muttered as you picked up the pen and signed the paper.

“Now, can we leave?”

After leaving the police station you decided you at least owed your friends a cup of coffee, so you, Foggy, Matt and Karen -who was still stubbornly glaring at you- made your way into the café. Vicky ran to you and hugged you tight.

“Vicky- Vicky my stitches-“ You coughed and she pulled back, her eyes filled with tears.

“I thought you’d get a life sentence!”

Foggy turned to stare at her, then elbowed Matt who looked like he was ready to burst into a laughter. Karen crossed her arms, biting inside her cheek.

“Vicky, you do know I didn’t kill anyone?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell her.” Liz said after squeezing your arm in an assuring manner, “You okay?”

You nodded, “Is the boss here?”

“Nope. Sit down, I’ll bring you all coffee.”

Matt smiled at her politely and he and Foggy sat down, while Karen looked at you silently, her brows raised.

“Okay, let’s just get coffee and then you can fuck me up.” You said as you both sat down. Karen clicked her tongue.

“So let me get this straight.” She started, “You got attacked, -again, if I may add-, and after you got attacked, you decided your house wasn’t safe anymore-“

“It’ll be safe once I get the door fixed,” You said and Foggy got his phone out of his pocket and started typing something.

“On it. I know a guy who owes me a favor.”

“And then,” Karen continued as if no one had cut her off, “Then instead of calling me- your best friend- you decided to go and crash at a guy’s place whom you’ve known for a little over a week?”

“Um…” You swallowed and turned to Matt, “A little help here?”

“You’re on your own.”

“Shit- Okay, Karen-“ You took a deep breath, “I know how that sounds like and in my defense...” You cleared your throat, “He seduced me with his hair and his facial hair.”

Karen rolled her eyes, “You know what, I’m gonna shoot you and this time you could just crawl your way to Billy’s apartment, since he’s the guy-“

“Oh my God, I was almost shot, okay, show some compassion woman!”

“And I had to learn about you getting arrested from your friend, not from you-“

“What the fuck was I supposed to do, Karen? Was I supposed to text “Tfw police comes to pick you up, hashtag yolo?”

Karen raised her brows, “Yeah? What did you text Billy when we left the police station?”

You sulked, “Straight outta prison, hashtag badass.” You muttered and Matt snorted,

“One would think you weren’t shaking in fear when I walked inside.”

“Do you have any idea about how I felt?!” Karen snapped as Foggy slid down in his chair, his shoulders silently shaking with laughter. “You don’t go to a stranger’s house after you almost get shot, you come to your best friend-“

“My best friend would drag me to a hospital-“

“Fuck yeah I would drag you to a hospital, because that’s where people go when they get hurt!” She lowered her voice, “They don’t go to a guy’s house to play doctor.”

“She has a point.”

“Whose side are you on?!”

“Hers.” Both Matt and Foggy pointed at Karen, who looked smug and leaned back, you on the other hand crossed your arms.

“Fine, Karen, I’ll crawl and bleed on your couch the next time I get shot, I promise.” You muttered and turned to Matt and Foggy, “Thanks for saving my ass today, traitors.”

Matt waved a hand dismissively “I’m pretty sure you can pay us with shots.”

You snorted, “I’ll be lucky to have money to get food.” You grumbled and Karen’s frown deepened.

“What?”

“I’m supposed to pay this huge amount of money, because of the whole getting arrested thing also, I should just find a dead animal and leave it at my neighbor’s doorstep for intimidation like we do in Chicago, snitches get stitches-“

“I don’t really think that’s a thing, what part of Chicago did you use to live in?”

“Dangerous part of Chicago.” You answered Foggy and he shrugged,

“Why don’t you ask fancy boy?”

You snorted, “I’d rather shoot myself. Do you guys know any loan sharks?”

“Not funny.” Karen said as Vicky walked to your table with coffee cups.

“There you go.”

“Thank you.” Matt said politely and you took your cup, then took a sip.

“You’re feeling alright?”

“Prison changes a person, Vicky.”

“You stayed in custody for two hours.” Foggy commented and as if on cue, your phone started ringing. You lowered your glances to see Billy’s name flashing across your screen and you took a deep breath, then took the phone to your ear.

“You’re speaking to Al Capone?”

Karen rolled her eyes, shaking her head slightly and Billy heaved a sigh.

“I can’t tell if you’re serious or not on the phone, what’s going on?”

“Got arrested.” You sipped your coffee and Billy paused,

“I’m sorry?”

“Do you want me to make you an offer you can’t refuse?”

“I’m gonna be so pissed if I find a horse head in my apartment.” He said, “Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“I left you alone for about an hour,” Billy stated incredulously. “How did you get arrested in an hour? For what?!”

“Discharge of arms last night.”

He groaned, “Fuck…”

You bit on your lip, trying to keep your mind off the gutter “Yeah so, I’m like extra dangerous now.”

“You’re extra ridiculous, that’s what you are.”

“Boy you’re really pushing your luck with the horse head-“

“Where are you? I’m sending a lawyer-“

“No need, we handled it.”

“We handled it?”

“Yeah, Matt and Foggy saved my ass.”

There was a pause and he clicked his tongue, “Did they?”

You nodded, “Anyway, I was gonna ask you out tonight. My treat, even if I can’t actually afford it. Consider it my thanks for last night.”

Foggy’s head shot up and he made a face, “Oh wow.”

You flipped him, “So?”

“Sure,” Billy’s voice was distant for some reason, “I could be a bit late though, is that okay?”

“Oh yeah, no problem, I can start before you.”

“Great. Will Matt be accompanying you until I get there?”

You pulled your brows together, “Huh?”

“Never mind.” He said, “Listen, gotta catch a meeting, send me the address.” With that, he hung up and you stared at the phone, frowning.

“The hell just happened?”

You drummed your fingernails on the counter of the bar, playing with your phone. You were already on your third drink and somehow, it didn’t help the way you felt. You had no idea why Billy had reacted that way, but you could already tell that you didn’t like it.

As soon as you finished your drink and put the glass on table, somebody took the seat beside you.

“Hi.”

Great. Now you had another problem.

“Hello.” You smiled politely before turning back to your phone but the guy didn’t seem to take the hint.

“What’re you drinking?”

“Nothing special.” You said curtly and he smiled slightly.

“I’m Lucas, and you are?”

“Not interested.”

“You’re this rude to everyone who’s nice to you? Wouldn’t kill you to smile.”

That got you to raise your head from the phone and you glared at him, “Buddy, I don’t know you, okay? I’m waiting for someone, so please…” You waved a hand dismissively and he shrugged.

“Just trying to make conversation.”

“I’d try my luck somewhere else.”

“Maybe I’m nice once you get to know me.”

“Jesus Christ-“ You started but before you could say anything else, your phone started ringing. It was a number you didn’t know so you frowned slightly, automatically distracted from the guy, and you held the phone in your hand for a couple of seconds before answering.

“Hello?”

“Hi sis.”

And just like that, all the buzz in your head was gone. Your breathing got way faster as you felt the familiar panic filling your system and you stood up from the seat, suddenly it had become way too hard to breathe in the bar. You pushed open the door and walked outside, holding the phone tightly in your hand.

“You still there?” The familiar drawl made you grit your teeth and you kept walking without knowing where you’d end up, in hopes to find somewhere calmer and more silent.

“Yeah. I’m here, asshole.”

“Good. Missed me?”

You stayed silent and leaned your head back to the brick wall of the alley, taking a deep breath.

He wasn’t here. And you were completely safe.

“The fuck you want?”

“That’s no way to talk to your brother.”

“You know what, I’m getting really tired of this shit where everyone tells me how to talk to someone. The fuck do you want?”

“I waited for you.” His voice was enough to send a chill down your spine, “In the hospital. You didn’t show up.”

“Yeah, sorry your plan for shooting me didn’t work exactly the way you thought it would.”

“Courtesy of your boyfriend I’m sure.”

Your grip around the phone tightened and he chuckled.

“What? Didn’t think I’d find out? I’m offended, my baby sis not telling me shit about her man. I should get to know him to see if he’s a good fit-“

“You don’t get close to him, dickhead,” You tried to keep your voice stable even if your eyes were already filled with tears, “You hear? If you do, I swear to God-“

“What?” his voice was taunting, “You’ll do what, lil sis?”

You only paused for a second,

“I will end you.”

“See, that might not work the way you want.”

You gulped and tried to see through the haze of anger and panic, and bit inside your cheek, ignoring the burning in your eyes.

“Why are you doing this?” Your voice came out as a whisper and you heard his chuckle before he took a deep breath.

“Told you,” he said, “Family over everything, sis.”

With that, he hung up and you looked at the screen, trying to pull yourself together and dug your fingernails into your palms, closing your eyes for a second.

No. It wasn’t the time for this.

You were gonna go inside, and have some fun with Billy and everything would be fine-

“Hey.”

Or not.

You threw your head back, adrenaline still pulsing through your veins and turned around to look at Lucas, who had his hands in his pockets, watching you.

“You seem stressed.”

“Jesus, what is this, a joke?” You snapped, “Dude, get the fucking clue, not interested.” You took a step to walk past him but before you could, he grabbed your arm, smiling at you.

You should’ve been scared. You knew you were supposed to be scared, but somehow, as the anger filled your veins, you were way too furious to feel any fear.

“Let go of my arm before you lose that hand.”

“Or what?”

Before you could open your mouth, your fist had already flown forward and as soon as he stumbled back, someone yanked him from behind and turned him around before punching him hard.

“Can’t say she didn’t warn you.” He said calmly as Lucas tried to find his balance, and lunged himself at Billy, but even you could tell it was a lost fight even before it began. Billy grabbed his wrist and twisted his hand before the sickening crack reached your ears and Lucas let out a scream of pain, which made you smile only for a second before you snapped out of it, shocked at yourself.

You couldn’t. You weren’t supposed to find this satisfactory in any way.

“Billy- stop, okay, enough-”

He didn’t seem to hear you, instead he threw another punch at Lucas and you heard another crack, then saw the blood coming out of Lucas’s nose before he gripped it tight.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry-“

“Doesn’t work like that, asshole.” He threw him towards the brick wall and Lucas hit the wall like a rag doll before he stumbled on his steps, still trying to find his balance before you got between him and Billy and Lucas used that opportunity to run away from him, getting out of the alley as fast as he could.

“Get out of the way.”

“No!” You snapped at him, “You need to stop- that’s- that’s enough.”

He turned to look at you, and you could see the wild fire burning in his dark eyes as he panted.

“That’s enough?” He repeated, his voice barely holding back his anger, “Do you have any idea what that fucker-“

“I know, okay? It’s not the first time, won’t be the last, but listen to me- Billy!” You raised your voice as he took a step and you pressed your hand to his chest, feeling his fast heart beat against your palm, “I’m fine.”

“Y/N-“

“Just some creepy guy, being creepy. Okay? I’m fine. Nothing happened.”

“Like fuck nothing happened, I’m gonna-“

“You’re gonna do nothing.”

“I’m gonna kill him-” he tried to walk past you but you pushed him back.

“I don’t have any idea about how conjugal visits work in New York, so you’re gonna chill the fuck down!”

But your snapping at him seemed to have no power on him, because he turned his back to pace in the alley, running a hand through his slicked back hair, breathing hard as if he didn’t know how to come back down from the high the anger gave him. It was as if it was all out of his control and you were witnessing a side of him neither you, nor he had any idea about how to keep in check.

And it was all too much. It was as if your brain had suddenly gone numb, all the panic, all the fear, everything was swallowed by this strange feeling that you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“I-I don’t want you to leave, okay?” Your voice dropped a bit “Screw the guy, and stay, for me.”

Billy turned to look at you as you walked to him, and cupped his cheek.

“Please?” Your hand balled up into a fist as you held his shirt and stood on your tiptoes, planting a soft kiss to his lips, then wrapped your arms around his neck, scratching the back of his neck slowly. You let out a soft whine when he pressed you against the wall and pulled you into a deep kiss, your hands slipping to his chest.

“Y/N-“ He let out a breath when he pulled back, sounding physically hurt from being unable to decide what to do, and when you looked up at him, you were sure that your pupils were as wide as his, as if you both were high on something.

He held you tight on the back of your neck, the darkness in his eyes focused on you.

“You want me to stay?” he asked hoarsely, and you gulped, then nodded fervently as soon as it dawned on you.

Desire.

That was what you felt. That was what suffocated every other feeling in your mind. You couldn’t even think about anything else anymore, not the threats coming closer, not the asshole from the bar, nothing. All you could feel was that you needed him, with you. In any way possible.

In a very specific way if possible, thank you very much.

“And then what?”

Your eyes snapped up to his, to see the gleam in them “W-What?”

“I can stay here…” He taunted, “But what do you want me to do?”

You were at lost for words, especially when he planted a kiss to your neck, holding you still. You arched your back, pressing your body against his without knowing what the hell you were doing.

“Billy-“

“What do you want us to do, Y/N?” Billy insisted and you tried to speak through the haze in your brain.

“An-anything?” You offered shakily, making him chuckle.

“Anything?” he repeated and you nodded, trying to silence the voice in your mind saying; Not anything, I don’t want to do ‘anything’ in a dark alley. Your hormones turned out to be stronger than your ration so you just waited until Billy spoke again

“So if I told you…” he dragged his fingertips on your arm “That I want to have you right here, right now…?”

“Billy-“ That didn’t come out as a sob, nope, not at all. His hands went under your shirt to feel your skin against his fingertips, but as soon as his grip tightened around your waist, pain shot through your wound and you held your breath, a yelp of pain escaping from your lips. That seemed to have the same effect on him as fire, because he pulled back as if you burned him.

“You okay? Did I hurt you?”

You tried to catch your breath and shook your head,

“No, not you- the stitches hurt.”

He nodded curtly and licked his lips, as if trying to control himself.

“I-um…” For the first time since you’ve met him, he stammered, “Do you want to go inside?”

That made you snap out of the bliss and you thought for a second, remembering why you were outside. Your hand involuntarily went to your pocket to check your phone as the panic dawned on you once again, out of nowhere and you shook your head.

“I need some fresh air.” You said, “Walk with me?”

Your walk to riverside was silent. Billy seemed to understand when you wanted to talk and when you didn’t, because he didn’t even open his mouth to attempt to start a conversation. When you reached the bench by the riverside, you uncapped your beer that you both had got on the way, and took a sip as you sat down. Billy sat down next to you and you inhaled the cold breeze, leaning forward, resting your elbows on your knees.

“I need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay.”

You took another sip from your beer, and gulped, biting inside your cheek. You could feel the burning behind your eyes but you blinked fast, desperate to keep the tears at bay, at least until you were done saying what you needed to say.

“I haven’t been completely honest with you,” You started, “I told you I left Chicago because me and my brother had a fight. It’s actually… It’s a lot complicated than that.”

He nodded silently, waiting for you to keep going.

“My brother, he’s-“ You cleared your throat, “I don’t need to tell you he’s dangerous. I think you’ve seen that. What you haven’t seen is…that little booby trap? That’s just the beginning of what he could do.”

“To you?”

“To anyone.” You stated and licked your lips, “But yeah. Especially to me.”

“Why?”

A bitter chuckle escaped from your lips as the cold breeze whipped your hair, and you swirled the liquid in the bottle, deep in thought.

“I’ve done something bad,” You said slowly, “At least… at least he thinks it’s bad. And then all hell broke loose.” You kept your eyes on the calm, still water. “The reason why I left Chicago wasn’t our argument. It was because of his revenge. I had this… I had this boyfriend.” You tried to swallow the lump in your throat, “Around the time I did what I did. My brother hurt him, very badly. In front of me.”

Billy frowned, “What did you do?”

You bit on your lip hard, ignoring his question,

“So um… I wanted to say-“ You tried to keep your voice from cracking, “This is, uh- This is my heads up. I’m in some really fucked up shit, so if you wanted-“ You forced yourself to shrug, “If it’s too much for you, you could leave. No hard feelings, I promise.”

He stared at you for a couple of seconds, and shook his head,

“I’m not leaving.”

“Are you listening to me? I’m dangerous-“

“No, I am listening to you. I just find it ironic that you beat me to it.”

You blinked dumbly “What?”

“This whole speech.” He waved a hand, “Never occurred to you, not even once, did it? That I might be bad for you?”

“I’m not talking about heartbreak.”

“Neither am I,” his voice was way too calm and you turned to look at him, “You really think you’re the only one with enemies here?”

That caused you to fall silent, and you licked your lips, looking him deep in the eye.

“You have enemies?”

He nodded and sipped his own beer,

“Yeah. I’ve got quite a lot, to be honest. And I’m planning to make more.”

“You’re planning to make more enemies.” You repeated, confused, “Why?”

He shrugged, keeping his eyes on the river,

“So, the same thing goes for you,” he stated, “You could leave. No hard feelings.”

For some reason, you could feel the goose bumps rising on your arm and a cold feeling running down your spine, but you ignored it and held out your pinky.

“I won’t if you won’t.”

That seemed to make him smile slightly and he eyed you up and down before entwining his finger with yours.

“Deal.”

Part 9 is up!

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