#so they go to earth and he watches Reynold about to pick the lock

[sqlmn]

So have a new OC! His name is Reynold and he works as like…. CIA or FBI I don’t know yet. His hobby is doting on his younger (by ten years) brother. His younger brother (and a friend) are recruited by a goddess from another world to be the hero (and aid) to saving her world from the demon king. Unfortunately, the hero is bad at saving the world if seems.

The goddess returns to earth and begs Reynold to join her and help the hero - his beloved younger brother. So he agrees under the condition that “I would do literally anything to help him. I only ask when you send me to your world, I want to be a woman.” And the goddess is just like “odd flex but ok” and does so.

Rey (it’s so much cuter than Reynold and still works) then does an excellent job at protecting the hero and solving problems for townspeople … to the point that the demon lord’s army kidnaps her and takes her to their castle as leverage to lure out the hero. The demon lord looks at her and just gets really confused because “your soul doesn’t match your appearance. If you aren’t the hero, were you cursed?” And Rey is not willing to admit to the big bad demon lord ‘well my brother called me creepy since we’re both guys and he wished he had an older sister instead’ so he just looks away and says nothing. Over a week, Rey keeps waiting for torture of some sort (heck, she’d be willing to torture someone for the hero and besides /what/ is otherworldly torture like?) but the demon lord keeps trying to talk and ask questions. Finally, he asks “do you want me to return your form?” And Rey agrees. He kinda misses being a guy.

Finally the hero gets to the castle and is ready to fight the demon lord and … doesn’t understand why there’s an illusion of his brother in the castle since he should be a she last he was aware. Reynold tells him “oh hey! I solved the whole world being doomed problem. I’m engaged to the demon lord. Don’t worry, I arranged for you and your friend to return home! And! I’ve secured visitation rights!”

The hero tries to suggest they team up and take the demon lord out buuuut the demon lord isn’t thrilled by the idea so he transforms into a huge dragon and gets between the brothers. Unfortunately, Reynold thinks that’s kinda hot. Crap. Oh well. He’s gonna be married to him so it’s fine probably. And so that’s how Reynold saves another world and gains a seven foot tall husband.

Also noteworthy: he’s basically a cryptid in two worlds. On earth he’s constantly going radio silent and then popping up at his parents house and picks the lock and stays for ten minutes before leaving. In the other world, rumors of a woman in love with the hero who fought anyone who got too close still linger in multiple towns.

[lexs-movie-review-and-views]

Movies I watched in January 2021.

(only includes movies I watched for the first time)

 A stranger outside (directed by Jake Helgren) – 2018 (12) 2½ stars.

This film is a who is it/who did it movie about a girl named Daphne (played by Brittney Underwood) who is babysitting a young boy called Toby (played by Jet Jurgensmeyer) whose parents are out of town.

I gave it a low rating since I found it very dumb and the acting is not good, a hard movie to take seriously, the characters are also very stupid, and it is an overall very predictable movie.

But saying that, I would still recommend if you want to watch a movie you can make fun of and like seeing family bonds being made (between the babysitter and the boy). It is also a good movie if you want to get into horrors/thrillers or get someone else into them.

*spoilers*

The main reasons I found this a dumb movie is how obvious it was that the maid was the killer, like, what maid only cleans the kitchen and does it in less than 5 minutes? She was also an overall bad killer and felt like a very lazy try.

Also, the girls reaction to everything, I don’t understand why they didn’t lock all the doors and how Daphne walked through the door that she put the windchime, a very dumb move. Also, Daphne’s friends when being killed, I could not wait for the scene to be over, she wasn’t doing a particularly good job at trying to escape.

*spoilers done*

Uncle frank (directed by Alan Ball)– 2020 (15) 5 stars.

This film is about an 18-year-old named Beth (played by Sofia Lillis) who travels back from Manhattan to her hometown Creek Ville, South Carolina, with her uncle Frank (played by Paul Bettany) for a funeral and end up being joined by his boyfriend (Played by Peter Macdissi).

I gave this film such a high rating because of how real this movie feels and how the acting feels so pure and you can tell that they put effort into this. I also just really love family connections in movies. It is just such a beautiful movie, made me cry so much. This film also really highlights how much Frank is terrified of his parents fining out he is gay.

I just highly recommend this movie. Anything I say will not do this film justice.

*spoilers*

The main scenes that really stuck out to me where: 1) The flash back scenes between young Frank and past lover Sam. Mainly the scene where his dad (played by Stephen Root) catches them together one night. And he didn’t the relationship his son had with the other boy, which sends Frank into a panic. This scene also shows the type of man his dad was and how that impacted Frank.

2) The will reading where Frank is outed. This scene really pinpoints how much hatred Franks dad had towards him. In this scene you can also see the sheer panic he has and doesn’t want to stick around and find out what is family will say.

*spoilers done*

Deadly detention (directed by Blair Hayes) – 2017 (15) 1 star.

This film is about 5 high school students; the ‘hot girl’ Lexi (played by Alex Frnka), ‘hot boy’ Barrett (played by Henry Zaga), the ‘sporty female jock’ Jessica (played by Sarah Davenport), ‘the skateboarder’ Taylor (played by Jenifer Robyn Jacobs) and the ‘presumed gay, Christian’ with his bejewelled bible named Kevin (played by Coy Stewart), who all have Saturday detention. Their detention takes place in a now closed prison with someone trying to kill them.

I gave the film such a low rating since its just bad. The script is awful, the characters are written so poorly, I can’t believe this movie was able to be realised, it is also very predictable, you are able to tell who the killer is within the first 10 minutes.

This movie gave me the vibe of a poorly rewrite of ‘the breakfast club’ if it was a horror in prison. But if you want something you can watch to laugh at and not take seriously then you could watch this.

*spoilers*

The main things that really annoyed me with this film are not that the killer was obviously the cop but that:

1)    Barrett never stops smiling! Someone is trying to kill him, and he doesn’t even care.

2)    Taylor and her skateboard, she can’t even ride properly, she should have left it, it’s not important.

3)    Keven and his light up shoes, and how he had to make sure they were on the same colour, he should leave them alone and hide.

4)    And just the fact that Barrett and Lexi care more about hooking up than trying to escape a killer, especially when Berrett is already dating Jessica.

*spoilers done*

Deadpool (directed by Tim Miller) – 2016 (15) 4 stars.

This film is about a man named Wade Wilson (played by Ryan Reynolds), who wants to get revenge on a man named ajax/Francis (played by Ed Skrein) for experimenting on him to cure Wades cancer and to give him healing abilities, but it ends up leaving him disfigured.

I gave this movie a high rating because of how it managed to include multiple genres at once; for example, this film included, action, a little gore, comedy, raunchy and romance. Also, the uses of breaking the fourth wall, I think was done particularly well.

Other things I like about this film is that he does not call himself a hero, because he does not want to be and at the end of the day, he isn’t one, but he’s also not a villain.

*spoilers*

An example of this is right near the end when Colossus is giving that classic ‘you can be a hero’ hero speech, Deadpool shoots Ajax. Because killing him was what the main plot of the film was.

*spoilers done*

Soul (directed by Pete Doctor) – 2020 (PG) 3½ stars.

This film is about the journey of jazz piano player/middle school teacher, Joe Gardner (voiced by Jamie Foxx), who experiences a near death experience that gets him trapped in the afterlife, trying to reunite his soul and body, who is landed the responsibility to be the mentor to the soul, 22 (voiced by Tina Fey), who needs to find her spark to be sent to earth.

I gave this movie a middle rating because I like what it portrays – where your dreams come from, where your interests come from, also that for some, it can take a lot longer than others to figure out what they are. However, I feel like this film feel flat the longer it went on, it also feels like the people working on this got bored at the end and did not care anymore. Could as well be due to do with the fact that there were a couple things I thought would happen and make more sense but did not happen.

But its still, at the end of the day a cute, funny, family movie and great for kids to learn that they should do what they love and its okay if they take longer than others to figure out what they love to do.

*spoilers*

Examples of what I thought would happen/hoped would happen that would have made sense to be in the film are:

1)    I was expecting that Joe was going to realise that he liked being a teacher. The flash backs really set up that was going to happen but then I just did not.

2)    I was hoping that we would get a time skip to a few years later and joe and the person that 22 went into would meet. I was expecting that the happen from the beginning.

*spoilers done*

Adventures in babysitting/A night in the town (directed by Chris Columbus) – 1987 (12 or pg. if you watch the Disney + cut) 4 stars.

This film is about 17-year-old Chris Parker (played by Elisabeth Shue) who is babysitting 8-year-old Sara Anderson (played by Maia Brewton) and her 15-year-old brother, Brad (Played by Keith Coogan), but ends up in a night full of adventures, along with Brad’s friend, Daryl (played by Anthony Rapp), due to Chris needing to pick up her friend, Brenda (played by Penelope Ann Miller).

I gave this movie a high rating because I think it’s a nice funny, sweet movie. I has great family like bonds between them all, which I love to see, and it makes you feel good watching it.

What I liked in this film was that it felt like it wasn’t trying to be realistic and because of that anything so unrealistic that happens feels normal.

I do highly recommend this movie to anyone who likes comedic adventurous films.

*spoilers*

One thing I liked that I found funny was how the gang was trying to capture the kids and Chris all because of the Playboy.

I also really love the scene when we find out Chris’s boyfriend, mike (played by Bradley Whitford), was cheating and after Brads speech about Chris then says he isn’t going to hurt mike because he is a bigger person, Daryl kicks mike. I think the main reason I loved this scene was because it really shows how different each character is from each other, but they still have a great friendship.

One thing that did annoy me about this film was Chris and Dan together at the end. It would have been okay for me, but she broke up with her boyfriend that night. Also, we don’t know how old Dan is, all we know is he is in collage and Chris is 17 in high school.

*spoilers done*

Z-O-M-B-I-E-S (directed by Paul Hoen) – 2018 (pg.) 4½ stars.

This film is about a zombie named Zed (played by Milo Manheim) and a human cheerleader named Addison (played by Meg Donnelly) who become close very quickly and need to hide that due to the fact that humans still believe that zombies are evil monsters.

I gave this film a high rating due to the how this movie made me feel, it quickly became a comfort movie for me, if you watch it you will understand where I’m coming from.

I also want to point out that yes, this is a very cheesy movie but its Disney channel, what else do you expect?

And despite it being the classic Disney channel cheese it is, I would like to pinpoint that it covers issues I think kids should learn about, for example; discrimination, not to pay attention to stereotypes and rumours also not to bully someone and just because they may be ‘different’

Highly recommend to all kids and anyone older if they love cheesy films.

*spoilers*

I have seen that some people don’t like the fact that Addison compared her hair would get her treated the same way Zed gets does, and I can see where they come from but to me, I interpret Addison’s hair and wig as real things people can hide about themselves, so they don’t get treated badly and zombies as something that people can’t hide about themselves.

*spoilers done*

Z-O-M-B-I-E-S 2 (directed by Paul Hoen) – 2020 (pg.) 2 ½ stars

This film is about werewolves coming to Seabrook/Zombietown due to their charms running out of their powers, needing to find the moon stone with help from a whitehaired teenager.

I gave this movie a low rating mainly due to how much it disappointed me. I expected much more, especially because of how the first one was amazing. This film felt very fast paced and felt like they didn’t put as much effort into it.

But saying that I do recommend watching, it’s still a fun time watching.

*spoilers*

Examples of what annoyed me in this movie was;

1.     How the zombies as well as the humans automatically assumed the werewolves where evil. You would have thought that the zombies would be more understanding since humans thought that about them before and that humans wouldn’t have jumped to that conclusion as they were wrong about zombies.

2.     The ban on all monsters when the zombies didn’t do anything wrong.

3.     How bucky went back to hating zombies. I don’t understand why because at the end of the first movie he realised zombies aren’t bad.

4.     Eliza should have ran for school resident! Mainly due to her having such strong views I feel like she would have taken it very seriously.

*spoilers done*

Official secrets (directed by Gavin Hood) – 2019 (15) 3¾ stars

This film is about the true events of Katherine Gun (played by Kira Knightly), who is a British intelligence specialist and leaked secret information about an illegal NSA spy operation made to urge the UN security council to give approval for the 2003 invasion of Iraq, to the press hoping to avoid this from happening.

I gave this movie this rating due to how it keeps you engaged in what is happening, despite it being a sort of slow burn. Also, from what I heard it stayed true the real events (I’m 17 so I wasn’t old enough to remember it myself) and I like how it used the actual news footage.

This movie is also easy to follow and to know what’s happening.

I highly recommend this film if you love learning about true events/find them interesting.

The green mile (directed by Frank Darabont) – 1999 (18) 5 stars

This film is about Paul Edgecomb (played by Tom Hanks and Dabbs Greer), the commanding officer of the death row cellblock at Cold Mountain Penitentiary in Louisiana, who meets inmate, John Coffey (played by Michael Clarke Duncan), who has been accused of murdering two young girls. Paul’s life isn’t the same when he discovers John’s special gifts.

I gave this movie such a high rating because it’s just such a masterpiece of a movie. The actors did an amazing job at portraying their characters and made sure you like the characters your meant to like, despite what they did in the past and dislike the characters your meant to dislike.

This movie also gave me so many emotions, for example, one moment I’m really happy and the movie is making me feel good then the next I can’t stop crying.

Despite the rating being an 18+, I would recommend to anyone 15+.

*spoilers*

I would like to state that the mouse, Mr. Jingles is my favourite character so, if you have seen it, you can guess that when Percy (played by Doug Hutchinson) stepped on the poor thing busted into tears and then when John healed him, I started crying even more because I was so happy.

I also thought the ending to the film was very poetic in the way the Paul is still alive and that being his curse, and having to see everyone he cares about die, due to John being executed despite, in the end, being innocent.

*spoilers done*

 Those are all the movies I watched this month. Please know that these are my opinions, and its perfectly okay of you have different ones.

This is the first time I have ever done something like this so please let me know how I can improve. And let me know your thoughts. 

[saiilorstars]

Stars Dance

Ch. 15: The Legendary Box

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: 11th Doctor x Original Female Character

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

Chapter summary: One of the biggest fairy tales of the world comes to life for the Doctor and his companions. And since it also brings River Song back to his life, he puts all of his effort into keeping Avalon away from her just like he was warned to do.

(Previous chapters)

Fairy Tale Memoirs (Companion story)

"Vavoom!" the Doctor shouted right as Avalon entered the console room, the poor ginger letting her journal drop over her shoulder with the great jump she took.

"Doctor!" she yelled, frustrated.

The man was too excited and went under the console, clearly not having heard her yell.. Avalon rolled her eyes and picked up her journal again, sighing as she walked over to the chair of the console. She opened up her journal and took out a small paper she'd been working on lately.

The name 'Lena' was written all over the paper, in different types of writing.

She didn't understand what was the big deal over that name. And yet there she was, going nearly crazy over it ever since she heard the name from Sophie. She asked Amy, once they'd gotten over the ring discovery, what her thoughts were on the name and even Amy seemed a bit troubled by it. Avalon didn't understand what was going on but she knew something was going on...and she would figure it out.

"I can't believe I've never thought of this before, it's genius," the Doctor ran around the console flicking controls here and there as Amy emerged from underneath the console, "Right! Landed, come on."

"You didn't leave the breaks on," Avalon noted as she hopped of her seat, putting her journal in her bag and leaving it on the chair.

"Where are we?" Amy asked, discreetly putting away the engagement box in her jacket's pocket.

"Planet One, the oldest planet in the universe," the Doctor explained, "There's a cliff of pure diamond and, according to legend, on the cliff there's writing, letters 50 feet high, a message from the dawn of time, and no-one knows what it says, 'cos no-one's ever translated it. Till today."

"What happens today?"

"Us," the Doctor tapped Amy's nose, "The TARDIS can translate anything. All we have to do is open the doors and read the very first words in recorded history."

"I'm surprised you didn't think of that before," Avalon remarked as she passed them to the doors.

She opened them up and stepped out, leaving them open for the Doctor and Amy. They were in a forest area with a large cliff-face ahead of them. Avalon let out a small laughter when they read the words 'Hello Sweetie' on the cliff-face with other symbols underneath it.

Even Amy laughed as the Doctor looked less than pleased, "Vavoom!" she nudged and returned to the TARDIS.

"This oughta be good," Avalon smirked and hurried back into the TARDIS, leaving a frustrated Doctor to follow.

~ 0 ~

The TARDIS materialized on a small cliff after leaving the other planet. Avalon walked out first and looked around, not too excited of where they'd landed, "Right place? Are you sure?"

"Just followed the co-ordinates on the cliff-face. Earth," the Doctor walked out and checked his watch, "Britain. 1:02am. No, pm. No, AD."

"That's a Roman Legion," Amy grinned when she stepped out and saw the encampment below.

"Well, yeah," the Doctor shrugged, "The Romans invaded Britain several times during this period."

"Oh, I know. My favorite topic at school. Invasion of the hot Italians!"

The Doctor gave her a look while Avalon laughed, "I told her not make that the title!"

"Oh, you didn't even do it!" Amy turned to her.

"Well excuse me but I was in a place where I couldn't do much!"

"Yeah," Amy scoffed, "A Juvenal detention center," she crossed her arms.

The Doctor stepped between them and was about to intervene the bickering when a Roman soldier ran up to them, breathless as he knelt down.

"Hail, Caesar!" he pressed his fist to his chest.

"Hi," the Doctor slowly said, the gingers turning to the soldier with confusion.

"Welcome to Britain. We are honored by your presence."

"Well, you're only human. Arise... Roman person," the Doctor motioned.

"Why does he think you're Caesar?" Amy asked him quietly.

Avalon noticed the soldier's face had red smudges of lipstick and chuckled, "Have I mentioned I like River?"

"Cleopatra will see you now," the soldier said and started leading them away.

The Doctor remembered Octavian's warning to keep River away from Avalon. And since he lost one Reynolds twin already, he was certainly not gonna go for a second loss.

~ 0 ~

The group were led into a tent where River Song was dressed as Cleopatra and was being waited on as such by two servants. She smiled upon seeing them, "Hello, sweetie."

"Okay, this," Avalon gestured to the place, "...very nice," she praised and moved around.

"Thanks, sweetie," River beamed.

"River! Hi," Amy waved.

"You graffitied the oldest cliff-face in the universe," the Doctor began his scolding as he walked up to the woman.

"Nice work on that by the way," Avalon called as she picked up some sort of goblet. "Like, seriously, I commend you for your creativity." River laughed but the Doctor was nowhere near amused.

"No, it's not 'nice work'," the Doctor scolded her as well, "It's wrong! It's bad! It's-"

"-what happens when you don't answer the phone," River cut him off with a smirk.

"You have a phone?" asked both Avalon and Amy at the same time.

Amazing, it hadn't even been a minute and the Doctor already felt so frustrated. This is what made him so weary of River Song. The fact that she made anyone, especially Avalon, more careless and reckless. He was aware that he could also be those things but he would never, ever be as reckless as to put somebody in danger when he knew he had to be serious. River couldn't say the same.

River clapped her hands, making the servants leave, and then picked up a rolled up canvas which she held out to the Doctor.

"What's this?" the Doctor looked at the canvas.

"It's a painting. Your friend Vincent," River said and the Doctor snatched it from her, unrolling it, "One of his final works," River stood up, "He had visions, didn't he? I thought you ought to know about this one."

Avalon and Amy moved beside the Doctor to see the painting but we're confused of the contents.

"Doctor? Doctor, what is this?" Amy asked, frowning.

"I don't like it," Avalon mumbled as she gazed at the painting or the TARDIS exploding, "Why's the TARDIS exploding?"

"I assume it's some kind of warning," River shrugged as she took the painting from the Doctor, the man going over to a chair with some heavy thoughts going through his head.

"Something's going to happen to the TARDIS?" Amy guessed the logical thing.

"It might not be that literal. Anyway this is where he wanted you," River pointed the gingers to the TARDIS door sign, "The date and map reference on the door sign, see?"

"Does it have a title?" the Doctor called.

"The Pandorica Opens."

"The Pandorica?" Avalon raised an eyebrow, "What is it?"

"A box. A cage. A prison. It was built to contain the most feared thing in all the universe," River explained as she rolled up the painting again.

"And it's a fairy tale, a legend," the Doctor had stood up to pace, "It can't be real."

"Clearly it wasn't to Vincent," Avalon countered. "And, just saying, some fairy tales do turn out to be real."

"If it is real, it's here and it's opening,' River added, "And it's got something to do with your TARDIS exploding."

The Doctor stopped pacing and sighed. He went around the room grabbing different local maps and came to a table where he set all of them down.

"Hidden, obviously," River repeated as he scanned several of the maps, "Buried for centuries. You won't find it on a map."

"No. But if you buried the most dangerous thing in the universe, you'd want to remember where you put it," the Doctor countered.

~ 0 ~

The group acquired horses to ride all the way to Stonehenge where the Pandorica was supposedly hidden. Although upon getting there, it was a matter of pinpointing where the Pandorica was located. The Doctor used the screwdriver on each stone and found just the one where a secret passageway was hidden underneath. With the help of River, light stands were placed around the area, with a device courtesy of River, pressed onto the stone that would lead them down the passageway.

"Right then, ready," River declared and used her handheld device, a scanner/communicator, to activate the device on the stone and make it slide to the side, revealing a staircase leading underground.

"The underhenge," the Doctor took out his screwdriver as a torch and began leading the group down the stairs.

They entered a narrow passageway that would lead them up to a large door with a board across its handles as a lock. The Doctor went to pull it up while River grabbed a torch from a wall across them. They opened the door and entered a cavernous room with a cubed-shaped box in the center, bearing a circular intricate pattern on each of its sides.

"It's the Pandorica," the Doctor blinked.

"Definitely more than just a fairy tale," Avalon smiled brightly and headed for it, nearly tripping over an arm of a Cyberman.

"Avalon, don't get too close!" River warned.

"What's the story behind it?" Avalon ignored the warning as she went around the box. It seemed so serene and smooth for something meant to be a prison.

"Hm, figures she'd treat it like an actual fairy tale," Amy rolled her eyes.

The Doctor walked up to the Pandorica and put a palm on it, "There was a goblin, or a trickster, or a warrior. A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world."

"So how did it end up in there?" Avalon poked her head around the side, actually treating it like a fairy tale than the dangerous prison box it was meant to be.

"You tell me since you're the one who loves fairy tales," the Doctor looked at her, "A good wizard tricked it."

"I hate good wizards in fairy tales," River shook her head and handed Amy the torch so she could use her scanner.

"Why?" Avalon turned to her.

"They always turn out to be him," River frowned but Avalon laughed.

"My hero!"

"So it's kind of like Pandora's Box, then?" Amy concluded after staring at the box for a minute or two, "Almost the same name."

"Sorry, what?" the Doctor looked away from the box, going over to place the torch he had in a holder in order to use the screwdriver on the box.

"The story. Pandora's Box, with all the worst things in the world in it. That was my favorite book when I was a kid," Amy sheepishly admitted. The Doctor stopped what he was doing and looked at her with concern, "What's wrong?" she asked as he walked up to her.

"Your favorite school topic, your favorite story. Never ignore a coincidence, unless you're busy. In which case, always ignore a coincidence."

"What?" Amy laughed, "This is a giant fairy tale! You should be looking at Avalon, the Queen of fairy tales!"

"Don't bring me into your issues, Amy Pond," Avalon warned playfully. "But I accept the title."

"So, can you open it?" River walked up to the Doctor near the Pandorica.

"Easily," he shrugged, "Anyone can break into a prison, but I'd rather know what I'm going to find first."

River looked at her scanner and read off the screen, "It's already opening. There are layers and layers of security protocols in there, and they're being disabled, one by one. Like it's being unlocked from the inside."

"How long do we have?"

"Hours at the most."

"What kind of security?"

"Everything. Deadlocks, time-stops, matter-lines."

"What the hell could need all that?" Avalon looked back at them, recalling the cells she'd been placed in during her times in jail.

"What could get past all that?" River added with a sigh.

"Think of the fear that went into making this box," the Doctor started going around the Pandorica, "What could inspire that level of fear? Hello, you. Have we met?"

Amy thought she'd heard something behind and looked back to see nothing was there.

"So why would it start to open now?" Avalon wondered, never hearing anything. "What triggered it?"

"No idea," the Doctor stepped away.

"Hmm, and how could Vincent have known about it?" Amy reminded as she walked to the box, "He won't even be born for centuries."

"The stones," the Doctor realized as he went over to the pillars to use the screwdriver on them, "These stones are great big transmitters, broadcasting a warning to everyone, everywhere, to every time zone. 'The Pandorica is opening!'"

Both Avalon and River tensed at the realization, "Everyone everywhere?" they called.

"Freaky," Amy muttered at them.

"Even poor Vincent heard it in his dreams," the Doctor said without noticing the women behind, "What's in there, what could justify all this?"

"Oi, fairy tale man," Avalon called, "You said everyone!"

But...the Doctor still didn't get the idea, "Anything that powerful, I'd know about it. Why don't I know?"

Avalon sighed of frustration, "Is he serious?" she looked at River.

River rolled her eyes, agreeing with her, "Doctor, you said everyone could hear it. So who else is coming?" she called to him, finally getting through.

"Oh..."

"Oh? Oh, what?" Amy uncrossed her arms and looked at them all for an explanation.

River walked overt to a pillar and put her scanner on it, "OK, if it is basically a transmitter, we should be able to fold back the signal."

"Doing it," the Doctor quickly used the screwdriver on all the pillars.

"Doing what?" Amy insisted.

"Stonehenge is transmitting, it's been transmitting for a while...so who heard?" River explained and glanced back, now seeing the worried look on Amy as she understood.

"OK, should be feeding back to you now," the Doctor called, "River, what's out there? Getting anything?"

"Give me a moment," she used her scanner.

"River, quickly, anything?"

"Around this planet, there are at least 10,000 starships," River's eyes widened.

"At least?" Avalon blinked.

"10,000, 100,000, 1 million," River continued, "I don't know. There's too many readings."

"What kind of starships?" the Doctor turned as River began to type into the scanner.

"Maintaining orbit," a...Dalek was saying through a transmission.

"I obey. Shield cover compromised on ion sectors," went the second Dalek.

"Daleks," Avalon and Amy recalled.

"Yes, OK. OK, OK, OK. Dalek fleet," the Doctor took a breath and started pacing, "Minimum, 12,000 battleships, armed to the teeth. But we've got surprise on our side! They'll never expect three people to attack 12,000 Dalek battleships, 'cos we'd be killed instantly. So it would be a fairly short surprise. Forget surprise."

"Doctor, Cyber-ships," River swallowed.

"No, Dalek ships, listen to them, those are Dalek ships!"

"Yes. Dalek ships and Cyber-ships."

"Well, we need to start a fight, turn them on each other. It's the Daleks... they're so cross..."

But River found more results, "Sontaran. Four battle-fleets."

"Sontarans! Talk about cross, who stole all their handbags?"

River's eyes nearly popped out as she found even more results on the scanner, "Terileptil. Slitheen. Chelonian. Nestene. Drahvin. Sycorax. Haemo-goth. Zygon. Atraxi. Draconian. They're all here. For the Pandorica."

"What are you?" the Doctor stared at the Pandorica.

As if answering, the ground began shaking. The group quickly ran back up the stairs to see the dark night sky filled with flying ships, their lights like spotlights as it roamed the area.

"What do we do?" Avalon breathed at the sight.

"Doctor, listen to me!" River turned the man around, "Everything that ever hated you is coming here tonight. You can't win this. You can't even fight it. Doctor, this once, just this one time, please, you have to run."

"Run where?" he gestured to their surroundings.

"Fight how!?" she challenged, "Take Avalon and Amy and RUN!"

But the Doctor ignored the request and used binoculars from his pockets to look back the way they'd come from, "We have something," he announced, "The greatest military machine in the history of the universe."

"What is? The Daleks?" Amy looked up at the spaceships.

"No, no, no. The Romans!"

"You want Romans to come and fight Daleks?" Avalon raised an eyebrow.

"Right now, it's our only chance," the Doctor turned to her, "River, go back and gather as many as you can."

River nodded and took out a second device from her pocket, "Here, communicator," she handed it to the Doctor, "It'll be handy for us," and she headed for the horses they'd left by.

"I'll come with you," Avalon volunteered, making the Doctor give her a confused face, "We should make it fair," she explained, "Two and two."

"No, no, no," the Doctor shook his head. That was definitely not the way to keep her away from River.

"I'm alright with it," River smiled.

"Great," Avalon beamed.

Before she went off, the Doctor grabbed her arm, "I don't think it's safe," he tried.

Avalon pointed up to the sky, "I don't think it's safe here either," she smiled, "It's fine, honest. I'm more awake now see?" she pointed to her face, indeed looking much more healthy than she had in months, "I've been sleeping more and more. I won't fall asleep anymore, promise."

"Oh let her go," River called, wearing a smirk on her face, "I'll give her back to you before you miss her too much."

"No! It's not like that!" the Doctor quickly argued and let go of Avalon's arm.

"So you wouldn't ever mind if I left?" Avalon raised an eyebrow.

"Well not like that either!" he huffed.

Amy laughed from behind, "Aw, don't gang up on him!"

"I'm going to be going now," Avalon chuckled and hurried after River, much to the Doctor's dismay.

~ 0 ~

Avalon and River rode back to the Roman encampment where they saw more soldiers had arrived in the area. River helped Avalon down the horse and started towards the tent she'd been in earlier as Cleopatra. Avalon moved to follow when she thought she felt eyes on her. She looked around and saw plenty of soldiers around but none she saw were actually looking at her.

"Avalon!" River called and startled the ginger.

She quickly rushed off to find River standing in front of the tent and was actually being blocked the entrance by two soldiers, "What's going on?" she asked.

Their answers were given as the guards blocking the way restrained them and brought them into the tent where the commander of the legion was awaiting them.

"I'm guessing that's the boss," Avalon bit her lip and looked at River who nodded.

"So, I return to my command after one week and discover we've been playing host to Cleopatra," the commander glared at River, "Who's in Egypt. And dead!"

"Yes. Funny how things work out," River mumbled.

The ground shook again with the ships in the sky flying over the encampment.

"The sky is falling, and you make jokes," the commander spat, "Who are you?"

"When you fight Barbarians, what must they think of you?" River began, unperturbed by the glares.

"Oh, riddles now?"

"Where do they think you come from?"

Avalon flinched as the commander pulled out his sword and aimed it right at her, "Oi mate, I'm not saying anything," she frowned then quickly looked at River, "Sorry," she whispered as she realized that may have sounded bad.

"To answer your question," the commander looked at River, "A place more deadly and more powerful and more impatient than their tiny minds can imagine. Now you better answer my questions or the redhead gets it."

River raised an eyebrow, something about her smile promising dark things if he went through with his threat. Dead serious, she whipped out her disintegrator gun and shot at a cabinet, stunning everyone as the cabinet practically turned to dust, "Where I come from I make sure none of my friends are hurt," she snapped, "Lower the sword from her or next time I promise you that I will shoot you."

The commander visibly swallowed hard, especially more when he looked back at the pile of dust that used to be furniture. He had the good sense to lower the sword from Avalon, but even then River didn't look so appeased.

"You are all the Barbarians now that deal with visitors of the unknown."

"What is that? Tell me, what?" the commander demanded.

"A fool would say, the work of the gods. But you've been a soldier too long to believe there are gods watching over us. There is, however, a man. And tonight he's going to need your help."

"Sir?" a soldier pulled the curtain of the tent.

"One moment," the commander sighed and walked over to the soldier.

After a hushed conversation, the soldier and the commander turned to Avalon and River, "Well, it seems you have a volunteer," the commander announced.

"That's a first," Avalon remarked. Things would never go��that easily for them.

"Don't question it," River mumbled to her then spoke in a normal volume to the others, "Well then, we're done here," she pulled Avalon towards the entrance, "Can you gather more soldiers?" she asked the volunteer.

"I'll try," the soldier said and motioned for them to follow him, despite the looks of the commander.

"Why would you volunteer?" Avalon asked as they followed him out the tent, "I mean, thanks a lot, but...aren't you the least bit interested to know what you're getting into?"

"Don't question it," River muttered again. "I'm going to go get more soldiers," she turned to Avalon with a familiar look in her eyes. "Do not move out of this tent, got it?"

"But I can help-"

"Don't move from this spot!" River hissed, startling Avalon. "Not until I get back!"

Well, now Avalon knew why River's expression was so familiar. It was the same one that the Doctor gave her whenever he was going to go do something 'dangerous' and he tried to protect them. "I didn't come with you so that I could do nothing!"

"I'm handling it, baby face!"

Avalon rolled her eyes. "You called me that the last time we met on the Byzantium."

"Don't say more," River quickly said. "Spoilers dear! But if I said that then it means you'll be even younger than this you right now! You don't get it, do you?" she stopped just to chuckle with amusement. "You are so young right now, to me at least. You're brand new to this life-"

"Hey, I'm not a baby! I've been traveling with the Doctor almost a year now!"

River still snorted like it meant nothing. "Honey, you just proved my point. Stay here, alright? Roman soldiers all around, you know?"

"I'm not Amy."

River laughed. "Right. Just stay here."

"Yeah, yeah, Doctor!"

"Don't insult me!" River huffed before she finally went off.

Avalon shook her head at the woman. She would only give River a point because it had to be both amusing and frustrating to keep meeting them out of order. Although, that made Avalon wonder if River had met a really older version of herself. Avalon shuddered. She didn't like to think about that. Old.

"Ava?" the first Roman soldier to volunteer had rejoined her.

"What did you just call me?" Avalon frowned at him. "You can't call me that. Only one person calls me that."

"Yeah, me," the soldier pulled off his helmet to reveal Rory Williams underneath, "Hi, Ava," he smiled brightly.

But Avalon raised her eyebrows, confused as hell as she studied the Roman soldier, "No...only the Doctor calls me 'Ava'. I don't even know you..."

"Don't play jokes, Ava. It's really not funny this time," Rory shook his head, "I can't believe you're actually here!" he took the startled ginger for a hug, "I really thought you were all dreams now!"

"Why do you keep calling me Ava? How do you even know that?" Avalon pulled away and stared at Rory's face, swallowing hard as she felt something odd in her stomach.

Rory frowned as he studied Avalon, realizing through her eyes she really didn't know who he was, "A-Ava..." he stepped towards her, Avalon immediately stepping away, "...Ava, it's me, why don't you know me? I'm Rory! Your best friend!"

Avalon found her eyes growing teary and that feeling in her stomach growing the more she looked at the man, "What's going on?" she asked, her voice becoming soft, "I don't know, I promise, I don't..."

"I'm your best friend, Ava. I came up with the name Ava, not the Doctor!" Rory exclaimed, "I can prove it," he pointed.

"How?"

"You hate when people mention your middle name, you've wanted to be a writer ever since you were little, you absolutely adore fairy tales and have a complete stack of them on bookshelves in your room."

Avalon's eyes widened as she knew those things were all true, the very core of her personality actually, "How do you know that?" she whispered, "And why don't I know you?"

"I'm your best friend, Ava. I...I don't know what happened, but I'm here," he gestured to the encampment, "I'm here and now you are too."

Avalon streamed tears down her cheeks, angry with herself because she could not remember for the life of her, but the words were just at the tip of her tongue, "I can't...I don't...I'm crying and I don't cry in front of people," she sniffled and quickly wiped her face, "Especially strangers."

"The Doctor has some real explaining to do," Rory grumbled.

"You know him too?" Avalon asked.

"Of course I do, because I'm me!" Rory pointed to himself, "I'm Rory!"

"Ro..." Avalon whispered, her mind suddenly transporting her back to the day she met Zelda Fitzgerald. The memory with the man who was angry with her on the streets for drinking. ""Always looking after me Ro.."

It was then that Avalon was able to see the memory again, only this time the man was in it.

"Look at you, Avalon, you can barely walk," the same Roman man scolded as they walked down a dark street, only he wasn't dressed as a Roman. He was dressed normally and he looked fairly upset.

The younger version of Avalon chuckled, but didn't seem to be paying too much attention to him. "Thank you for coming to get me...like always…" she sniffed and looked to the side, spotting a garden. "Oh, look at the roses…"

"Oh no you don't," the man grabbed her arm. "You need to get home now before you get yourself into more trouble with your Dad."

Avalon giggled as she was pulled away. "Always looking after me Rory."

"It's sort of my job," he sighed as he looped his arm with hers. "Now c'mon, you need to go home and sleep."

"Okay!" Avalon went along with him without the slightest of protests. She leaned her head on his arm and hummed to herself.

Avalon's eyes filled to the brim with tears as each of her memories suddenly started filling in those holes. The man appeared in each and every one of her memories that'd felt strange. He was completing them. Each time somebody was trying to pull her out of some bar, it was him. Other times he was playing cards with her or doing sports. She tackled him at one point in football...

"Rory?" Avalon's voice cracked. She looked him over in a whole new light. He was her best friend! This is what her mind was trying to tell her; he was that thing she'd forgotten. "Rory Williams?"

"Yes!" Rory exclaimed, another smile coming to his face. "It's me, Ava!"

"Oh my God!" Avalon threw her arms around him for a tight, a very tight hug.

"You remember me now?" Rory hugged her tight as well, so relieved that at least somebody was remembering him. He was scared out of his mind to see Amy again.

"Mhm, bits - it's coming back to me! You taught me how to play football! You bailed me out of jail every time. I made you do karate with me! And I tackled you in football!"

"Figures you'd remember that one," Rory muttered, almost feeling the echoes of the pain on his back from one of those tackles.

Avalon pulled away and laughed through her tears, "Shut up," she playfully pushed him.

"Avalon!" River called, making them both turn around, "We've gotta go."

"You recruited more of them?" Avalon asked.

"Yes, well..." River looked at Rory, "Wouldn't help if you went and talked to more of them."

Rory nodded and looked back to Avalon, "I don't know what happened but I'm really glad to see you back," he kissed her hair and walked off to the soldiers.

Avalon stared after Rory, frustrated that she'd actually forgotten him. How could that happen!? What on Earth had happened that made her forget her best friend!?

~ 0 ~

Amy went around the Pandorica room lighting up the torches meanwhile the Doctor continued studying the box itself, "So what's this got to do with the TARDIS?"

"Nothing, as far as I know," he shrugged.

"But Vincent's painting... the TARDIS was exploding," Amy rejoined him by the Pandorica, "Is that going to happen?"

"One problem at a time. There's forcefield technology inside this box. If I can enhance the signal, I could extend it all over Stonehenge. Could buy us half an hour."

"What good is half an hour?"

"There are fruit flies live on Hoppledom 6 that live for 20 minutes and they don't even mate for life. There was going to be a point to that. I'll get back to you."

Amy pulled out the engagement box from her pocket and cleared her throat, "So...are you proposing to someone?"

"I'm sorry?"

"I found this in your pocket."

The Doctor looked up to see the engagement box in her hands, "No. No, no, that's, uh...a memory. A friend of mine, someone I lost," he tried taking it but Amy jerked her hand away, "Do you mind?"

"It's weird, I feel... I don't know. Something," Amy stared at the ring, "I showed it to Avalon, and she feels the same way."

"People fall out of the world sometimes, but they always leave traces," the Doctor sighed and gave up on taking it from her, "Little things we can't quite account for. Faces in photographs, luggage, half eaten meals... rings... Nothing is ever forgotten, not completely. And if something can be remembered, it can come back." And he believed Avalon was far closer to that than Amy, for a reason he still couldn't understand.

Amy heard his words as she stared at the ring but snapped it shut once she felt even more weird with the ring, "So, was she nice, your friend?" she held back the box to the Doctor.

Sadly, he took the box back and put it in his pocket. He returned to his work on the Pandorica for a moment but stopped to look at Amy, "Remember that night you flew away with me?" he wasn't mentioning the fact that there had been another Reynolds with him at the moment.

"Of course I do," she nodded.

"And you asked me why I was taking you and I told you there wasn't a reason. I was lying."

"What, so you did have a reason?"

"Your house."

Amy laughed lightly, "My house," she shook her head.

"It was too big, too many empty rooms. Does it ever bother you, Amy, that your life doesn't make any sense?"

Amy frowned at the question but didn't have time to think about it when a laser fired beside them. They turned to see a Cyberman arm firing at them. They quickly hid on opposite sides of the Pandorica while the arm continued to fire.

"OK, What was that?" Amy exclaimed.

"Need a proper look. Got to draw its fire, give it a target," the Doctor said.

"How?"

"You know how sometimes I have really brilliant ideas?"

Amy hesitated to answer that, "...yes."

"Sorry!" he said right before running out of his hiding spot to be out in the open, a plain target, "Look at me, I'm a target!" as the arm fired at him he quickly ducked and hid again.

"What is that?" Amy asked again.

"Cyber-arm. Arm of a Cyberman."

"And what's a Cyberman?"

"Oh, sort of part man, part robot. The organic part must have died off years ago, now the robot part is looking for fresh meat."

"What...us?" Amy blinked.

"It's just like being an organ donor, except you're alive and sort of screaming-"

"That's not like being an organ donor is like!" Amy cut in.

"I need to get round behind it, could you draw its fire?" the Doctor ignored her remark.

"Like you did?" she crossed her arms.

"You'll be fine if you're quick, it's only got one arm. Literally," he gave a bright smile and two thumbs up.

Amy repeated the gesture and went for it, screaming as she ran across the open space with the cyberarm shooting at her. The Doctor was able to snatch the arm from behind and used the sonic to disactivate it.

"Doctor?" Amy called, afraid to do much more.

"Scrambled its circuits, but stay where you are," the Doctor held onto the Cyberarm tight, "It could be bluffing."

"Bluffing?" Amy raised an eyebrow, "It's an arm!"

"I said stay where you are!" the Doctor shouted as he stood up.

With a huff, Amy stepped back and crossed her arms. Not too much later, she felt something wrap around her legs, "Doctor!" she cried as she yanked down to the ground.

"Amy!" he moved to help her when he was shocked by the cyberarm and collapsed on the ground, unconscious.

"Doctor!" Amy called as she saw a Cyberman head binding her wrists with its wires, using it to pull itself closer to her. With struggle, she managed to stand and be nearly face to face with it. The seam of the Cyberhead opened down the center and released a skull it held inside, making Amy scream. With no occupant in its head, the Cyberhead started snapping open and close to try and capture Amy's head. Amy banged the head against a pillar and chucked it at the ground, relieved to see it scuttling away from her.

"Doctor!" she called again and turned to find the man, only to feel something prick her neck. She removed a small dart from her neck and frowned.

"You will be assimilated," the Cyberhead said.

"Yeah?" she raised an eyebrow, "You and whose body?" then she heard the stomping sounds of footsteps growing closer. It was the body of the Cyberman without the head and an arm coming towards her. It picked up its head and put it back on then continued its way to Amy. She grabbed a torch and tried fighting with it but felt her body slowly getting weaker with the drug from the dart. She fell back through a double set of doors which thankfully shut behind her, "Doctor!" she shouted. The Cyberman pounded on the door for a minute or so before it went dead silent. Amy moved up to the door and put an ear to it, "Doctor?" she hoped. A sword was thrust into the door and opened up to show Amy the Cyberman pinned to it with sparks coming out of it. She saw a Roman soldier standing in front of her, Rory, "Who...? Who are you...?" Amy felt her breath begin to leave her as she felt sleepy.

"Hello, Amy," Rory smiled. Amy merely blinked and fainted, thankfully caught by Rory, "Whoa, whoa!" he carried her over to a stone table nearby and set her down. He smiled and caressed her hair, happy to see her once more, and hoping to dear God she didn't have amnesia like Avalon had.

"Sir, the man's coming round," another soldier walked into the room.

"Amy!" they heard Rory calling, "Where's Amy!?" he ran into the room, sighing when he saw her on the table.

"She's fine, Doctor, just unconscious," Rory said as the Doctor checked Amy with the screwdriver.

"Okay," the Doctor nodded, "Yes, she's sedated, that's all. Half an hour, she'll be fine. OK, Romans, good, I was just wishing for Romans, good old River. How many?"

"50 men up top, volunteers. What about that thing?" Rory pointed back to the Cyberman on the door.

"50?" the Doctor made a face, "Not exactly a legion, you know."

Rory nodded for the other soldier to leave, "Your friend River was persuasive, but it's a tough sell."

"Yes, I know that, Rory, I'm not exactly one to miss the obvious. But we need everything we can get," the Doctor walked over to a chest, taking out two large guns from it, "OK, Cyber-weapons. This is basically a sentry box. So, headless wonder here was a sentry. Probably got himself duffed up by the locals. Never underestimate a Celt."

"Doctor..." Rory frowned, seriously was no one going to mention that he was indeed alive!?

"Hush, Rory. Why leave a Cyberman on guard? Unless it's a Cyberthing in the box. But why would they lock up one of their own? OK, no, not a Cyberthing, but what, what? No, I'm missing something obvious, Rory!" the Doctor nearly shouted as he stood face to face with Rory, "Something big, something right slap in front of me, I can feel it!"

"Yeah, I think you probably are," Rory nodded.

"I'll get it in a minute," the Doctor promised and headed out of the room.

Rory waited for a couple seconds until he heard the clattering of guns falling. The Doctor re-entered the room and walked straight to Rory. As if to test he wasn't fake, the Doctor poked Rory's chest, watching the man sway back and forth.

"Hello again..." the Doctor blinked rapidly.

"Hello," Rory quietly waved.

"How've you been?"

"Good, yeah...good. I mean, Roman," Rory gestured to his armor he wore.

"Rory, I'm not trying to be rude...but you died," the Doctor spun around the room hoping he'd see a sweet little brunette coming into the room, possibly a Roman as well. But there was no Lena Reynolds. She was still gone.

Rory watched in confusion as the man finally stopped and sighed, "What are you doing?" he had to ask.

"You died and then you were erased from time," the Doctor recalled, "You didn't just die, you were never born at all, you never existed."

"Erased?" Rory remembered the confusion of Avalon when she'd first seen him, "What does that mean exactly? Like...no one knows me?"

"How can you be here?" the Doctor ignored him as he thought of every possible reason why Rory was standing there alive...and hoping to come up with an answer so he could use it to perhaps find an alive Lena Reynolds as well.

"I don't know. It's kind of fuzzy," Rory admitted as he thought of the day he'd 'died'.

"Fuzzy?"

"Well, I died and turned into a Roman. It's very distracting," Rory reminded and looked at Amy again, "Please tell me she knows who I am," he pleaded, "I met Avalon earlier..."

The Doctor tensed, "And...how'd that go?"

"She knew nothing of me," Rory looked at him, crossed, "Did you do something to her head?"

"No, I haven't," the Doctor quickly shook his head.

"Cos she had no idea who I was. Thankfully, she remembered me in the end. Is that what's going to happen to Amy when she wakes up?" Rory swallowed, and then he blinked when he realized something. He started looking around the room, the Doctor watching him cautiously as Rory rushed out the room back to the Pandorica, scanning the area, not even realizing the Pandorica was glowing green in its patterns, no he was focusing on something else. The Doctor had a pretty good idea of what Rory was looking for and sighed. Instead, he used his screwdriver on the Pandorica and realized it was opening up now.

"Doctor," Rory turned to him, serious, "Where's Lena?" he hadn't even realized the twin wasn't with Avalon and River and in saving Amy he hadn't checked where the Doctor was nor Lena. He knew Avalon wouldn't be with the Doctor if Lena was back home. Where Lena was, Avalon was, period. So...where was she?

"Rory...um...you probably don't remember," the Doctor began, "You'd been shot first..."

"First?" Rory blinked, "What do you mean 'first'?"

"Avalon doesn't remember," the Doctor found it complicated to speak the simple words.

"What doesn't she remember?" Rory stepped, "What happened?" he demanded.

"Lena died, Rory," the Doctor took breath, "After you were shot, Restac tried firing on Avalon and...Lena took the shot."

Rory stumbled back, "Wh-what? She...she what!?" he couldn't believe what he heard, and yet...it made sense. Avalon would never be traveling in the TARDIS while Lena remained at home. The only reason why Avalon would be here...was because she didn't even remember she had a twin, a twin who had died.

Before the Doctor could say more, he heard the communicator River had left him with from his pocket and took it out, "What is it?"

~ 0 ~

Avalon and River were watching the sight of the Stonehenge surrounded by flying spaceships from a distance, both on their horses.

"You're surrounded," River spoke into her communicator, "Have you got a plan?"

"Yes! Now hurry up and get the TARDIS here," the Doctor ordered, "I need equipment!"

"And tell him he has some explaining to do about my best friend dying and coming back," Avalon made sure to speak loud enough for her voice be heard through the communicator.

River winced at the tone Avalon used and whistled, "She's got the temper again, Doctor. Better whip out those strategies of yours soon," she turned off the communicator and put it away.

"Why do you do that?" Avalon asked her, not angry about her little innuendos just...curious. She actually wondered if she should be worried about that. Anyone back home who tried those little remarks ended up being punched in the face for them.

River smirked and turned her horse back around, "We should go," she said and rode off. Avalon rolled her eyes and obeyed, riding off behind her.

~ 0 ~

At Stonehenge, the Roman soldiers scattered the area as if to keep 'guard' even though the enemies were flying up above them in their ships. Suddenly, they heard the Doctor's voice as an echo, "Sorry, sorry, dropped it. Hello, Stonehenge! Who takes the Pandorica, takes the universe. But bad news, everyone..." he hopped onto a stone and looked up at the ships, speaking through his communicator as a speaker, "'Cos guess who?! Ha! Listen, you lot, you're all whizzing about, it's really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute? Because I am talking!" the ships actually stopped to listen, "The question of the hour is, who's got the Pandorica? Answer... I do. Next question, who's coming to take it from me? Come on! Look at me, no plan, no back-up, no weapons worth a damn. Oh, and something else, I don't have, anything... to... lose! So if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceship, with all your silly little guns, and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who's standing in your way. Remember every black day I ever stopped you. And then, do the smart thing. Let somebody else try first," he held his arms out to wait out the first try...but nothing happened. The ships took off instead, leaving the Doctor cheerfully hop off the stone and join Rory, "That'll keep 'em squabbling for half an hour! Romans!"

They could only hope.

~ 0 ~

Avalon and River entered the TARDIS in haste and went towards the console.

"Okay," River was about to place the coordinates to rejoin the Doctor when the TARDIS jolted as it dematerialized, "What's the matter? Did you do anything?" she looked at Avalon.

"No! I don't even know how to drive it!" Avalon raised both her hands.

"What?" she frowned, hanging onto the console as the box kept shaking, even Avalon having to hang on.

"The Doctor said he would teach me when pigs flew!"

River blinked then shook her head and muttered, "I'm gonna kill him."

~ 0 ~

"They're still out there," Rory came down the stairs to where the Doctor was still with the Pandorica, "What do we do now?"

"If I can stop whatever's in this box getting out, then they'll go home," the Doctor stepped away from the box as he noticed Amy coming out of the room, "Rory, I'm sorry, you're going to have to be very brave now."

Rory turned and saw Amy, more or less expecting the same reactions from her as Avalon did.

"Oh, my head," Amy walked around him up to the Doctor.

"Aaaahhh," the Doctor opened his mouth and set his hands on her shoulders.

"Aaaahhh," Amy followed his gesture.

"Just your basic knock-out drops. Get some fresh air, you'll be fine," the Doctor let her go and looked at Rory, apologetically.

"Is it safe up there?" Amy raised an eyebrow.

"Not remotely, but it's fresh."

"Fine," she huffed and turned, bumping into Rory, "Oh, you're the guy, yeah," she pointed, "The one who did the...swordy thing."

"Yeah," Rory sighed.

"Well, thanks for the swording. Nice swording," she smiled and tapped him on the shoulder then walked towards the stairs.

"No problem," Rory said, trying not to sound like his heart was breaking, "My men are up there. They'll look after you."

"Good, love a Roman!"

"And she dosn't remember neither," Rory turned to the Doctor, "I don't understand! How can no one remember me!?"

"Well, just pointing out, Avalon and I remember you now," the Doctor tried to brighten up the room.

"I love my best friend, but...I'd really like for my fiancee to remember me too! How can I not be remembered? How can Avalon not remember her own twin? Lena was her life and she just forgot about her. They forgot about us."

"It wasn't their fault," the Doctor shook his head, "You and Lena never existed. Avalon thinks she's got only one sibling and a father, Amy thinks she's single and her parents are just...gone."

Rory didn't even question the fact that Amy's parents apparently had also been erased from time. All he thought about were the gingers he loved most in the world, and a brunette that had died along with him...only he was here, a chance given to reclaim his identity...and Lena was still gone.

~ 0 ~

"River!" Avalon exclaimed as the TARDIS shook violently.

"What are you doing, what's wrong?" River helplessly went around the console, trying to calm down the box.

~ 0 ~

"There are cracks. Cracks in time. There's going to be a huge explosion in the future, on one particular day. And every other moment in history is cracking around it," the Doctor explained to Rory in an effort to make him understand what happened to him and Lena after 'dying'.

"So how does that work? What kind of explosion? What exploded?"

"Doesn't matter, the cracks are everywhere. Get too close and you can fall right out of the universe."

Rory nodded and reviewed what he'd heard so far, "So...Lena and I died and we fell through a crack and now we were never born?"

"Basically," the Doctor nodded.

"So how did I end up here?" Rory raised an eyebrow, "And could it mean that Lena might be alive somewhere?"

"I don't know, you shouldn't have been here," the Doctor sighed, "Lena...I don't even know anymore. Could be, could not be..." he shook his head, "Tell me what happened. From your point of view, what physically happened?"

"I was in the cave, with you, the twins and Amy. I was dying and then I was just here, a Roman soldier. A proper Roman. Head full of Roman... stuff, a whole other life. Just here like I'd woken up from a dream. Started to think it was a dream. You, the twins, Amy and Leadworth. Then today, in the camp, the men were talking about the visitors, the girls with the red hair. I thought you'd come back for me. But she can't even remember me."

"Oh, shut up," the Doctor rolled his eyes, "You got Avalon to remember you, what's stopping you from getting Amy to do it?" he reached inside his pocket and pulled out the engagement box, tossing it over, "Go get her."

"But I don't understand. Why am I here?" Rory sighed, so full of questions and yet no answers that were clear were given to him.

"Because you are. The universe is big. It's vast and complicated and ridiculous, and sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles, and that's the theory. 900 years, never seen one yet. But this would do me. Now

get upstairs, she's Amy and she's surrounded by Romans. I'm not sure history can take it."

Rory nodded and hurried towards the steps, though stopped at one point and looked back, "Doctor...if Avalon remembered me, then...won't she start remembering Lena too?"

The Doctor honestly didn't know what would happen the more Avalon started remembering for real. "I'm not sure, Rory," he looked at Rory, "There were times where Avalon came close. It was like, she remembered more than Amy. I don't know what it was, what it is, but her subconscious is highly more alert."

Rory nodded, unsure if he wanted Avalon to remember she'd lost Lena. He knew that it would potentially destroy his best friend because she'd already lost a mother, and now she'd lost a sister.

~ 0 ~

The TARDIS had finally come to a halt, Avalon and River slowly standing straight and cautiously looking around for anything.

"Is it okay now?" Avalon asked quietly, "You okay?" she looked at the rotor.

River moved over to the monitor and whacked it a couple times to get it working but never received anything from it, "I'll go look out."

"I'm coming with," Avalon headed for the doors.

"Avalon..." River sighed when the ginger opened the doors. She never listened! She hurried and followed Avalon, bumping into her back as she came out, "What is it?" she rubbed her head and stepped around Avalon.

"This is Amy's house," Avalon looked at the back yard of Amy.

"Why would the TARDIS bring us here?" River held up her scanner and headed for the backdoor of the house. However, they made only a couple steps when the scanner beeped. River noticed symbols on the grass, not human of course.

'Someone's been here," Avalon frowned at the backdoor looking as if it was knocked down.

"We better be careful," River warned and walked cautiously into the house.

They went up the stairs where chaos seemed to follow. It looked like the house had been ransacked! They entered Amy's room where River saw all of Amy's childhood dolls, most of them of the Doctor in the raggedy clothes of his last incarnation.

"Oh, I remember these," Avalon picked up one of the dolls of the Doctor, "I felt so bad for Amy at times cos as much as we loved her...we couldn't back up her story when she told everyone else."

"'We'?" River asked, "Who else was with you that night?"

Avalon blinked as she realized she had used the 'we' when it had only been herself and Amy when they met the Doctor 14 years ago. "Um...I guess I meant my family, you know," River nodded and moved away to look at more things, "But I remember her being constantly scolded because she was being ridiculous over an imaginary friend."

"Oh no..." River mumbled, making Avalon look over.

"What?" she set down the doll and moved beside River.

River held a children's book on Roman Britain, a familiar figure on the cover. She opened the book up and started looking at some of the pages. Avalon then saw a book on Pandora's Box nearby and picked up, River noticing it as well and remembering Amy's mention of it being one of her favorite topics as a child.

"This isn't good...is it?" Avalon looked at River with a frown, waving the book she held.

River took the book from her and looked around, swallowing hard, "We need to go..."

~ 0 ~

The Doctor was getting rather impatient waiting for his TARDIS to be delivered. He took out the communicator he'd been given and spoke into it, "Where's the TARDIS? Hurry up!"

"Don't raise your voice, don't look alarmed, just listen," River spoke quietly and slowly, the Doctor listening and obeying without a protest.

~ 0 ~

"It's the Romans," River began, "They're not real, they can't be. They're all right here in the story book," she looked at Avalon who was flipping through the pages of the Roman book they'd taken from Amy's house, "Those actual Romans, the ones I sent you, the ones you're with right now. They're all in a book in Amy's house, a children's picture book."

"Don't forget to mention the fact that Amy's house was also broken into," Avalon added, the Doctor able to hear her as well, "There were alien symbols on the grass, Doctor. Why would aliens go into Amy's house?"

"What are you even doing there?" he countered instead.

"It doesn't matter. The TARDIS went wrong," River cut in, "Doctor, how is this possible?"

"Something's using her memories, Amy's memories," the Doctor said.

"But how?" Avalon asked.

"You said something had been there."

"Yes, there's burn marks on the grass outside, landing patterns," River explained.

"If they've been to her house, they could have used her psychic residue.

"Structures can hold memories, that's why houses have ghosts. They could've taken a snapshot of Amy's memories. But why?"

"So who are those Romans?" Avalon had to ask, "And why is Rory with them?"

"Projections. Or duplicates," the Doctor was thinking.

"But they were helping us. My lipstick even worked," River shook her head.

"They might think they're real. The perfect disguise. They actually believe their own cover story, right until they're activated."

Avalon gasped as she picked up a a picture of Amy and Rory, Rory dressed as a Roman soldier, "It's Rory..."

River took the picture from her and looked at it, "Doctor, that Centurion..."

"He's not part of it," Avalon immediately said, declared, "He can't be!"

"It's a trap, it has to be," River concluded, "They used Amy to construct a scenario you'd believe, to get close to you," she said to the Doctor.

"Why? Who'd do that? What for?" the Doctor sighed, "It doesn't make sense."

"But Rory can't be," Avalon insisted, "He's not-"

The console sparked violently and the TARDIS shook once more, making both women shriek.

"Avalon!? River!?" they could hear the Doctor calling for them, "What's happening?!"

"I don't know, it's the engines!" River managed to respond, "Doctor, there's something wrong with the TARDIS, like something else is controlling it."

"You're flying it wrong!"

"I'm flying it perfectly! Avalon taught me! And you taught her!"

"You said that before," Avalon pointed.

"Not the time!" River snapped at her too.

"Where are you?" the Doctor asked, "What's the date reading?"

Avalon moved over to the monitor and checked the date, "It's the 26th June, 2010," she called.

"You need to get out of there now!" the Doctor frantically ordered, not understanding what was happening to the TARDIS but he knew that it was that date that started it all. "Any other time zone, just go."

"We can't break free!" River exclaimed as she tried working the controls.

"Well, then, shut down the TARDIS. Shut down everything!"

"I can't!"

"Silence will fall," a new voice emerged in the room, freezing River in her place, "Silence will fall."

"What is that?" Avalon fearfully looked around, actually getting chills from it. The voice was really creepy.

River pulled her away from the monitor, angrily looking around as if something would snatch her up. "Ignore it! Just...stay close," she slowly moving up to the controls again, making sure Avalon was right beside her.

"Ava? River?" the Doctor called again, growing worried at the silence he'd heard, "What's happening?"

"Someone else is flying the TARDIS," River explained, "An external force. I've lost control."

~ 0 ~

"But how? Why!?" the Doctor grew frustrated as he came up with so many questions and yet nothing helpful for them. A blinding light cut the conversation short along with a high-pitched noise. The Doctor covered his other ear while behind him the Romans dropped into a bent forwards position.

~ 0 ~

"Listen to me, just land her anywhere. Emergency landing, now," the Doctor ordered once more, "There are cracks in time, I've seen them everywhere, and they're getting wider. The TARDIS exploding is what causes them, but we can stop the cracks ever happening if you just land her!"

"But it's not safe!" River shouted, still working the controls or at least trying to.

~ 0 ~

The Doctor watched as the Pandorica slowly opened up. The Romans turned on him in unison while lifting their right hands in front of them.

"Well, now. Ready to come out, are we?" the Doctor stepped forwards, wondering just what was laying inside the box.

"Doctor, we're down. We've landed," he heard River from the communicator.

"Okay, just walk out of the doors, please," he insisted, "If there's no-one inside, the TARDIS engines shut down. Just get out of there."

"We're going, sheesh," Avalon said and the Doctor just knew she was rolling her eyes at him.

"Run!" he ordered and headed for the Pandorica.

He didn't even realize the Romans had started marching towards him with their fingers hanging down, revealing guns. He started using the screwdriver on the Pandorica.

~ 0 ~

Avalon and River went towards the doors and tried opening them up. When the doors refused to do so, River groaned and ran back to the console for the communicator. Avalon remained at the doors, continuing to to struggle with the doors.

"Doctor! Doctor! We can't open the doors!" River called frantically.

~ 0 ~

The Doctor bent down to pick the communicator and finally saw the nearing soldiers, "Amy!" he recalled the ginger was with Rory...one of the Roman soldiers.

Little did he know how much Rory struggled to fight against the programming he had inside of him. He didn't want to go and fight and be the 'plastic Roman Centurion'.

~ 0 ~

River remained by the console trying to figure another way out, "Doctor, we can't open the doors!" she watched Avalon helplessly pull at the doors and get nothing from them, "Doctor, please, We've got seconds!"

~ 0 ~

But the Doctor was being held by two Roman soldiers who were leading him away from the Pandorica, "Plastic Romans. Duplicates, driven by the Nestene Consciousness, eh? Deep cover, but what for?" the Doctor looked at the entire legion, "What are you doing? What's in there, eh? What's coming out?"

~ 0 ~

River ran jumper cables from the console and hurried up to the doors, Avalon helping her to attach them to the doors.

"Are you sure this will do anything?" the ginger looked at her.

"Hopefully," was all River had to say.

~ 0 ~

"The Pandorica is ready," one of the soldiers said, confusing the Doctor.

"What, you mean it's open?" the Doctor guessed as he looked at them. He had his back facing the Pandorica, something he assumed was intentional as everyone else got to see the box.

"You have been scanned. Assessed. Understood. Doctor," went a Dalek voice behind him.

The Doctor stiffened and slowly looked over his shoulder to see a white Dalek coming towards them, two more Daleks appearing behind it. The soldiers turned him around to face the Daleks and Pandorica that was in the process of opening.

"Scanned?" the Doctor raised an eyebrow, "Scanned? Scanned by what, a box?"

His answer came from a cyberman now, "Your limits and capacities have been extrapolated."

The Doctor hesitated to look but finally looked over to see a Cyberman...and Judoon...and Sontarans.

"The Pandorica is ready," one of the Sontarans told him.

"Ready for what?" the Doctor dreadfully asked.

"Ready for you," the Dalek answered.

The Doctor was finally able to get a look into the Pandorica and saw a high-tech chair with restraints set in the middle. Once he realized just who was going to be placed in that box he started to struggle against the soldiers who were now attempting to pull him towards the box.

~ 0 ~

River and Avalon connected the wires while the TARDIS sparked and exploded violently behind them.

~ 0 ~

More species started to come into the room while the Doctor was being placed into the chair including Silurians, Hoix and Roboforms.

~ 0 ~

With the attempt on the door, the console reacted even worse with severe sparks that were increasing as the seconds ticked by.

~ 0 ~

The Doctor was forced into the chair and held back with all its restraints . He looked out to all of his enemies watching him and was genuinely shocked, "You lot, working together, an alliance...how is that possible?" he just had to ask.

"The cracks in the skin of the universe," the white Dalek answered.

"All reality is threatened," a Sontaran informed.

"All universes will be deleted," the Cyberman added.

"What?" the Doctor frowned, "And you've come to me for help?" that...did not make much sense, actually.

"No," the Sontaran snapped, ""We will save the universe from you!"

"From me?"

"All projections correlate. All evidence concurs. The Doctor will destroy the universe," the Cyberman explained.

"No, no, no. You've got it wrong," the Doctor tried to say.

"The Pandorica was constructed to ensure the safety of the alliance," the Cyberman went on to explain.

"A scenario was devised from the memories of your companion," the Dalek said.

"A trap the Doctor could not resist," the Sontaran added.

"The cracks in time are the work of the Doctor. It is confirmed."

"No. no, no. Not me, the TARDIS," the Doctor shook his head, "And I'm not in the TARDIS, am I?" he actually wondered what was happening to Avalon and River now that they were practically on their own.

"Only the Doctor can pilot the TARDIS," the Dalek informed.

"Please, listen to me!"

"You will be prevented."

"Total event collapse!" the Doctor shouted, "Every sun will supernova at every moment in history. The whole universe will never have existed! Please, listen to me!"

"Seal the Pandorica," the Cyberman instructed.

"No! Please, listen to me! The TARDIS is exploding right now and I'm the only one who can stop it! Listen to me!" the Doctor cried and helplessly watched the doors of the Pandorica shut before him, leaving him trapped inside.

~ 0 ~

"Try it, Avalon!" River called from the console.

Avalon pulled on the doors and finally got them open...only for there to be a stone wall in front of her.

"Fairy tale man, where are you?" Avalon stepped back and turned around in time to see River attempting one more try on the console before it exploded with a bright light. Avalon screamed from its might.

~ 0 ~

Disaster had also stricken Amy and Rory above the Pandorica. Rory had managed to stay with Amy...but hadn't been able to stop himself from shooting Amy with the gun hidden behind his fingers. He held Amy while he wept for his dying fiancee.

All around the planet, however, every star had supernova and left the place in total darkness...

[sfdfmoviereviews]

Upcoming Flicks February 2018

Films coming out in Australia in February 2018.

February 1

·         Den of Thieves

Den of Thieves follows a group of bank robbers who have their eyes set on the Federal Bank, while the elite unit of cops with unconventional police morals chase them around every turn. Genre: Action Director: Christian Gudegast Stars: Gerard Butler, 50 Cent, Pablo Schreiber, O'Shea Jackson Jr., Recommendation: Skip it. There is nothing new here.

 ·         Molly’s Game

Molly’s Game based on the true story of Molly Bloom who started a high stakes poker tournament for celebrities and the super-rich, but it didn’t take long for her to be noticed by the FBI. Genre: Drama Director: Aaron Sorkin Stars: Jessica Chastain, Idris Elba, Kevin Costner, Michael Cera, Rachel Skarsten, Joe Keery, Chris O'Dowd Recommendation: See it. Aaron Sorkin is a brilliant writer and it’ll be interesting how he handles his first directing gig. Also, Jessica Chastain is always a pleasure to watch on screen.

 ·         Phantom Thread

A well-known dressmaker, Reynolds Woodcock, has his life turned upside down by a young and beautiful woman who becomes his muse and his lover. Genre: Drama Director: Paul Thomas Anderson Stars: Daniel Day-Lewis, Lesley Manville, Vicky Krieps Recommendation: If you are a PTA fan than go and see it. The few things I have watched of his I haven’t been interested in and based on the trailer this could have the same affect on me. It is up for 6 Academy Awards, all the big ones included, i.e. Best Picture, Director, Actor so I am sure it is nothing to sneeze at.

 February 8

·         Fifty Shades Freed

The third and final instalment of the Fifty Shades’ franchise, we finally see the how Christian and Anastasia’s relationship ends up. Genre: Drama/Romance Director: James Foley Stars: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Kim Basinger, Eric Johnson, Recommendation: The only good thing I can say about Fifty Shades Freed is that it’s the last one. Skip it.

 ·         Insidious: The Last Key

In her own home this time, Dr Elise Rainier must face her most fearsome haunting yet. Genre: Horror Director: Adam Robitel Stars: Lin Shaye, Javier Botet, Caitlin Gerard, Spencer Locke Recommendation: I’m mixed on this. Some of my horror friends in the US have said it isn’t that great but the trailer seems to have creeped me out, just out of pure curiosity I’m going to see it.

 ·         Stronger

Jeff Bauman is a man who lost both his legs in the Boston Marathon bombing of 2013. This is his fight for survival. Genre: Biography/Drama Director: David Gordon Green Stars: Jake Gyllenhaal, Tatiana Maslany Recommendation: It looks like a movie about the perseverance of humanity and the strength to overcome the extreme odds to survive. Those movies are always good.

 ·         Tad the Lost Explorer and the Secret of King Midas

Tad Jones, who is a better explorer and adventurer in his mind than in reality, must rescue his love from a millionaire who is seeking King Midas’ treasure. Genre: Animation Director: Enrique Gato, Javier López Barreira, David Alonso Stars: Óscar Barberán, Michelle Jenner, Adriana Ugarte Recommendation: Skip it. It may please the youngsters, but it doesn’t seem like it will be one that the parents can sit though willingly and enjoy the movie.

 ·         The 15:17 to Paris

Three American soldiers discover and thwart a terrorist attack on a train to Paris. Genre: Historical Drama Director: Clint Eastwood Stars: Spencer Stone, Anthony Sadler, Alek Skarlatos, Judy Greer, Jenna Fischer Recommendation: I like Clint Eastwood’s style and choice of films to direct generally. This looks like a great story of heroism. See it.

  February 15

·         Black Panther

Marvel furthers than universe with the popular character who made his debut in Captain America: Civil War, Black Panther takes his place as King of Wakanda after his father died whilst two of his foes join forces to destroy him and his Kingdom. Genre: Action/Drama Director: Ryan Coogler Stars: Chadwick Boseman, Andy Serkis, Michael B. Jordan, Lupita Nyong'o, Danai Gurira, Angela Bassett, Forest Whitaker, Sterling K. Brown, Martin Freeman, Daniel Kaluuya Recommendation: It’s Marvel. Of course, you should see it!

 ·         Lady Bird

An angsty seventeen-year-old girl and her mother struggle with their relationship through her final year of high school, Genre: Drama/Comedy Director: Greta Gerwig Stars: Saoirse Ronan, Laurie Metcalf Recommendation: I love a good coming of age film. This particular one is nominated for several Academy Awards. The trailer is engaging and relatable and Laurie Metcalf is a fantastic actress, so I think it will be worth the price of admission.

  February 22

 ·         2:22

Synopsis from IMBD: A man's life is derailed when an ominous pattern of events repeats itself in exactly the same manner every day, ending at precisely 2:22 p.m. Genre: Thriller Director: Paul Currie Stars: Teresa Palmer, Michiel Huisman Recommendation: I’ve read the synopsis, watched the trailer and I still don’t know what it is about. And it isn’t something that has me wanting to solve the mystery of what’s meant to be happening. Skip it.

 ·         Game Night

When a group of friends meet for a regular game night, they find themselves entangled in a kidnapping that they need to solve, while still thinking it is all a game. Genre: Comedy Director: John Francis Daley, Jonathan Goldstein Stars: Rachel McAdams, Jason Bateman, Michael Cyril Creighton, Jesse Plemons, Kylie Bunbury, Lamorne Morris Recommendation: I’m not keen on a lot of Bateman films, but this one seems pretty decent. It doesn’t seem to be an over the top comedy that we have been exposed to lately but more of a subtle humour that appeals to me. See it.

 ·         Finding Your Feet

A woman’s proper life is upheaved when she discovers her husband is having an affair. Genre: Romance/Comedy Director: Richard Loncraine Stars: Imelda Staunton, Timothy Spall Recommendation: Brit comedies are the best. They have such heart mix with their humour that is much more real and relatable than the SNL style American comedies. This trailer was very fun. I want to see it.

 ·         The BBQ

Dazza gives his neighbours food poisoning from his barbequing and seeks to learn from the best, a tyrannic Scottish chef. Genre: Comedy Director: Stephen Amis Stars: Shane Jacobson, Magda Szubanski, Julia Zemiro, Manu Feildel Recommendation: I don’t think this is one that is going to win any awards but if you want a down to earth Aussie comedy I think it’ll serve you well.

 ·         Winchester

The Winchester house is famed for being haunted, or believed to be haunted by Sarah Winchester, the heiress to the firearm fortune. So, to confuse the spirits she had rooms added on, and on, and on to the mansion. Genre: Horror Director: Michael Spierig, Peter Spierig Stars: Helen Mirren, Jason Clarke, Sarah Snook, Angus Sampson Recommendation: Helen Mirren in a horror film about the Winchester house!!! Hell yes!

 My picks for the month are Black Panther, Lady Bird and Winchester.

  -Terry

[pargeneticae]

reposted + revised drabble. childhood.

featuring: ambrosia, lucija, meredith, & matthew reynolds, 

By the time I was four I realized they handed her that same piece of paper every day. 

Sometimes they go through the task of laminating it, or color coding it in highlighters with tips that have been blended with other pens and for a moment it looks like the sky bleeds through the ink. But the paper reads like this: on a scale of one to ten, what is your level of pain? One is a smiling face. Ten is a bawling cartoon. There isn’t any explanation, or a category of pain. If there are as many minds as there are heads, there must be as many pains as there are injuries, but I don’t question it. 

Meredith picks seven, always seven. She exists in a constant state of seven. I can almost answer for her. You look at me, push your red hair behind your ear, and nod. Mascara clings to your bottom lash-line, a residue of lipstick to your upper-lip. All at once, I am convinced that I’m doing god’s work. When they hand me the paper, I push it away. None. Zero. I smile for good measure. I catch a glimpse of your nod out of the corner of my eye, and hum to myself. Your rumpled collar. Your knees propped against your chest, sandals hanging from your fingertips. There isn’t enough pain in this family to go around. 

I’m in second grade when when my teacher reads me a book. Fannie in the Kitchen – I think it was – but I can’t always remember.  In the story, the main character is listless. Her hair is red like mine and she’s ambitious like me. And her mother is a great baker, who guides her through the kitchen like a dancer on wheels. I was struck by it. My mother never baked, never pried open the oven, never taught me that knives were dangerous and a flame can burn. I learn this on my own. You weren’t a mother who baked. I complain, of course, and I’m pulled by the collar into the kitchen –– Meredith is watching television on full blast, a soap she watches again and again –– and I’m reprimanded for being selfish. You know how hard I’ve been working. How busy I’ve been with Meredith. I’m busy! When I started to cry, a torrent of apologies surging through my tears, you wrap me up in your arms and kiss my head. Be a good girl. I know you are. And I am. I can’t do anything but appease you.

I suppose I am accustomed to being treated with kid gloves. Delicate hands, sallow hearts. The teachers at school know my sister is sick. They forgive my absences. They know that my father is busy. My fatigue is permissible. They know that my mother, whose English steadily improves over the years, doesn’t know any one of them by name but picks me up at the same time every afternoon, and writes me notes in my lunchbox that I tuck into my pocket. I’m treated like a doll by nurses and doctors –– they know me to be charming, enthused, an eager pupil. I answer all their questions, I follow them as they present patients. I know Meredith’s medical history by heart. Eight year old presenting with Wilms’ and acute myeloid leukemia, undergoing blood transfusion –– it takes me a while to pronounce everything right, and when I do I am rewarded with a room full of smiles. Except you. 

How could they smile at that? My child is sick. And then I present myself. Because I’m a patient, too, and I’m reminded day in and day out that I’m a blessing. Not one of those ‘accidental babies’ that are born by virtue of whiskey or a quick fuck (you tell me not to say this). Ambrosia Reynolds. Donor. Blood type AB. So when I come home and you are fuming, and you yell at me, and I’m in tears, and you promise me that it isn’t your fault and mommy is just stressed, I react. I don’t know what it is to be treated like something disposable. But you make sure I learn. In the next breath, you tell me I’m blessed. That I’m saving Meredith.

For a few years, you stop picking me up regularly. I count the minutes. Four-thirty. Four thirty-five. The principal asks me where you are. I don’t know. Dad sweeps into the guidance counselor’s office at half past seven. Meredith was sick and had to be taken to the hospital and for a brief, brief moment, you forgot you had to pick me up. But daddy is charming, and he promises it will never happen again. But it does. He shelters my hand in his and braces me to his chest. I am only happy to be found. And then my birthday comes ‘round and we’re in the hospital. Easter follows. Christmas comes and goes. A new year is among us and we’re still in the hospital. Every holiday, the same story. Mereidth is always sick. I study at home now. I’m not allowed to have sleepovers at the house, because what if Meredith gets sick? Girls in my grade don’t want friends that have to leave suddenly at two a.m. to go to the hospital. I’m not allowed to play soccer. I play chess and cards, because those activities won’t mess with the kidney that’s going to Mer when she feels better. But she never feels better.

We’re not allowed to lock doors. In every room there is a sanitation station. You quit your job and Meredith becomes a full time workload and the ladies in the grocery store and daddy’s business associates and their wives snub you. They laugh at your pronunciation, your quick wit but dull grasp of English. Your own mother tells you to give it a rest. Meredith’s vocal chords are laden with the blood she spews out, and she’s pale and deathly, and her lips are slick and cherry-red. And maybe if it weren’t for you she’d be gone–– we’re not allowed to say dead. But you’re doing it all alone. And I’m lonely, too. For years. My pain doesn’t manifest, so when I cry your palm hits my cheek. My skin is imprinted with your ring. Shame is five-fingered. 

We have to be stronger than this, Ambrosia. 

Pain management is the first thing a patient is taught. When I cry, you close the door to my room, turn out the lights in the hallway knowing I’d be too afraid to walk out. I hate the dark. I am accustomed to light, static and white noise. I sit on the floor, my knees pulled up to my chest, and I learn to manage my pain. It works. I can never tell when you cry. Your nose is never red, your skin never blotchy. But sometimes you lock the door to your room, run a bath, and I can hear you heaving. And you walk out like nothing ever happened, grinning down at me and running your hands through my hair and God, I love you so, so much. Please don’t ever go. And sometimes, just sometimes, when you let me slip between the sheets and cuddle up to you, you wake up in a cold sweat, gripping the rails of the bed like a gun. You never told me. You never told me what you had run from. Why you scream and lash out when I come behind you and hug you and yell boo! You wouldn’t tell me why I couldn’t play with GI-Jane. Why your voice sounds like a war-cry and a howl.

When you call me sweetheart and strap me in a car seat and tell me we’re going to get ice-cream I’m surprised. I am delighted that you love me. I am filled with an otherworldly joy. But when our destination is another operating table, I wonder if I’m only useful to you as a spare. I wonder how easy it is for you to trick me.

About as easy as it is for me to love you.

I do everything I can to please you. I paste my own certificates to the fridge, askew and ripped up at the edge where the heat of my own fingers tore at them. I ask daddy to hang up my medals and awards in my bedroom but all you do is purse your lips and nod, arms crossed over your chest. I can see your ribs through your camisole as you take in breath. You tell me to keep going, not to get lazy just because I’ve won. This is the soundest piece of advice you’ve ever given to me. And I carry it with me forever.

I’m a little bit older, stand a little bit firmer, and the trees are shedding and the wind is cold again when I wonder if I love you. I do. I need you. I don’t think I could survive without you. But when I wake up,  you’re always at Meredith’s bedside. Daddy sits next to me. He’s on the phone. I turn, groan, and place a hand over the incision site. Five-thirty. Six-thirty. You breeze into my room, lock yourself in the bathroom, turn on the water and I can hear you heave. Did I do something wrong?

I imagine your youth–– lately and intermittently. I like to kid myself and think you were happier then, that your emotions were never void, that you did not lock me out when you cried. You had not buried your first born in the cold September earth, you had not lost your husband and daughter in one fell-swoop. Armies had not bordered your town. Serbian infantry had not wrecked bombs on parishes and schoolyards and your father has not left your mother to do the same thing in Herzegovina. I imagine you sitting on the top of a hill. The swells of Marjan swallow you whole and the clouds tug at your red hair flowing like charred debris. You are unscathed, and you look up, and the sky is painted in your eyes as your mother cries out your name; Lucija, Lucija, in a language you know well, and never struggle with. You can no longer fathom agony, and your thoughts float in clean, cool air. Your arms, which are steeped in lavender fabric, are, after so many conflagrations, fireproof.

That’s good to think of.

It’s so good.

[athenawroughtarchive]

         A LETTER TO AMBROSIA’S MOTHER.          THAT SHE WILL NEVER READ.          inspired loosely. 

By the time I was four I realized they handed her that same piece of paper every day. Sometimes they go through the task of laminating it, or color coding it in highlighters with tips that have been blended with other pens and for a moment it looks like the sky bleeds through the ink. But the paper is this: on a scale of one to ten, what is your level of pain? One is a smiling face. Ten is a crying cartoon. There isn’t any explanation, or a category of pain. If there are as many minds as there are heads, there must be as many pains as there are injuries, but I don’t question it. Natasha picks seven, always seven. She exists in a constant state of seven. I can almost answer for her. You look at me, push your red hair behind your ear, and nod. Mascara clings to your bottom lash-line, a residue lipstick to your upper-lip. All at once, I am convinced that I’m doing god’s work. When they hand me the paper, I push it away. None. Zero. I smile for good measure. I catch a glimpse of your nod out of the corner of my eye, and hum to myself. Your rumpled collar. Your knees propped against your chest, sandals hanging from your fingertips. There isn’t enough pain in this family for me to share in it.

I’m in second grade when when my teacher, Ms Brandon, reads me a book. Fannie in the Kitchen – I think it was – but I can’t remember and it haunts me. In the story, the main character is listless. Her hair is red like mine and she’s ambitious like me. And her mother is a great baker, who guides her through the kitchen like a dancer on wheels. I was struck by it. My mother never baked, never pried open the oven, never taught me that knives were dangerous and a flame can burn. I learn this on my own. You weren’t a mother who baked. I complain, of course, and I’m pulled by the collar into the kitchen – Natasha is watching television on full blast – and I’m reprimanded for being selfish. You know how hard I’ve been working. How busy I’ve been with Natasha. I’m busy! When I started to cry, a torrent of apologies surging through my tears, you wrap me up in your arms and kiss my head. Be a good girl. I know you are. And I am. I can’t do anything but appease you.

I suppose I am accustomed to being treated with kid gloves. Delicate hands, sallow hearts. The teachers at school know my sister is sick. They forgive my absences. They know that my father is busy. My fatigue is permissible. They know that my mother, whose English steadily improves over the years, doesn’t know any one of them by name but picks me up at the same time every afternoon, and writes me notes in my lunchbox that I tuck into my pocket. I’m treated like a doll by nurses and doctors – they know me to be charming, enthused, an eager pupil. I answer all their questions, I follow them as they present patients. I know Natasha’s medical history by heart. Eight year old presenting with Wilms’ and acute myeloid leukemia, undergoing blood transfusion – it takes me a while to pronounce everything right, and when I do I am rewarded with a room full of smiles. Except you. How could they smile at that? And then I present myself. Because I’m a patient, too, and I’m reminded day in and day out that I’m a blessing. Not one of those ‘accidental babies’ that are born by virtue of whiskey or a quick fuck (you tell me not to say this). Ambrosia Reynolds. Donor. Blood type AB. So when I come home and you are fuming, and you yell at me, and I’m in tears, and you promise me that it isn’t your fault and mommy is just stressed, I react. I don’t know what it is to be treated like something disposable. But you make sure I learn. In the next breath, you tell me I’m blessed. That I’m saving Natasha.

For a few years, you stop picking me up regularly. I count the minutes. Four-thirty. Four thirty-five. The principal asks me where you are. I don’t know. Dad sweeps into the guidance counselor’s office at half past seven. Natasha was sick and had to be taken to the hospital and for a brief, brief moment, you forgot you had to pick me up. But daddy is charming, and he promises it will never happen again. But it does. He shelters my hand in his and braces me to his chest. I am only happy to be found. And then my birthday comes round and we’re in the hospital. Easter follows. Christmas comes and goes. A new year is among us and we’re still in the hospital. Every holiday, the same story. Natasha is always sick. I study at home now. I’m not allowed to have sleepovers at the house, because what if Natasha gets sick? I’m not allowed to play soccer. I play chess and cards, because those won’t mess with the kidney that’s going to Nat when she feels better. But she never feels better.

We’re not allowed to lock doors. In every room there is a sanitation station. You quit your job and Natasha becomes a full time workload and the ladies in the grocery store and daddy’s business associates and their wives snub you. They laugh at your pronunciation, your quick wit but dull grasp of English. Your own mother tells you to give it a rest. Natasha’s vocal chords are laden with the blood she spews out, and she’s pale and deathly. And maybe if it weren’t for you she’d be gone–– we’re not allowed to say dead. But you’re doing it all alone. And I’m lonely, too. For years. My pain doesn’t manifest, so when I cry your palm hits my cheek. My skin is imprinted with your ring.

We have to be stronger than this, Ambrosia. We have to work twice as hard to get what they have. 

Pain management is the first thing a patient is taught. When I cry, you close the door to my room, turn out the lights in the hallway knowing I’d be too afraid to walk out. I hate the dark. I am accustomed to light, static and white noise. I sit on the floor, my knees pulled up to my chest, and I learn to manage my pain. It works. I can never tell when you cry. Your nose is never red, your skin never blotchy. But sometimes you lock the door to your room, run a bath, and I can hear you heaving. And you walk out like nothing ever happened, grinning down at me and running your hands through my hair and God, I love you so, so much mommy. Please don’t ever go. And sometimes, just sometimes, when you let me slip between the sheets and cuddle up to you, you wake up in a cold sweat, gripping the rails of the bed like a gun. You never told me. You never told me what you had run from. Why you scream and lash out when I come behind you and hug you and yell boo! You wouldn’t tell me why I couldn’t play with GI-Jane. Why your voice sounds like a war-cry.

When you call me sweetheart and strap me in a car seat and tell me we’re going to get ice-cream I’m surprised. I am delighted that you love me. I am filled with an otherworldly joy. But when our destination is another operating table, I wonder if I’m only useful to you as a spare. I wonder how easy it is for you to trick me. 

About as easy as it is for me to love you.

 I do everything I can to please you. I paste my own certificates to the fridge, askew and ripped up at the edge where the heat of my own fingers tore at them. I ask daddy to hang up my medals and awards in my bedroom but all you do is purse your lips and nod, arms crossed over your chest. I can see your ribs through your camisole as you take in breath. You tell me to keep going, not to get lazy just because I’ve won. This is the soundest piece of advice you’ve ever given to me. And I carry it with me forever.

I’m a little bit older, stand a little bit firmer, and the trees are shedding and the wind is cold again when I wonder if I love you. I do. I need you. I don’t think I could survive without you. But when I wake up from anesthesia, you’re always at Natasha’s bedside. Daddy sits next to me. He’s on the phone. I turn, groan, and place a hand over the incision site. Five-thirty. Six-thirty. You breeze into my room, lock yourself in the bathroom, turn on the water and I can hear you heave. Did I do something wrong? 

I imagine your youth – lately and intermittently. I like to kid myself and think you were happier then, that your emotions were never void, that you did not lock me out when you cried. You had not buried your first born in the cold September earth, you had not lost your husband and daughter in one fell-swoop.Armies had not bordered your town. Serbian infantry had not wrecked bombs on parishes and schoolyards and your father has not left your mother to do the same in Herzegovina. I imagine you sitting on the top of a hill. The swells of Marjan swallow you whole and the clouds tug at your red hair flowing like charred debris. You are unscathed, and you look up, and the sky is painted in your eyes as your mother cries out your name; Lucija, Lucija, in a language you know well. You can no longer fathom agony, and your thoughts float in clean, cool air. Your arms, which are steeped in lavender fabric, are, after so many conflagrations, fireproof.

That’s good to think of.

It’s so good.