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chloe-skywalker · 1 year ago

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What Does She Know? - Aegon II Targaryen

Aegon II x Fem!Reader

Warnings: G.O.T

Word count: 943

Summary: Alicent may love to put her children down, but Y/n won’t stand for it to affect her betrothed anymore.

Authors Note: I really do think if he had someone who really loved and cared about him he’d be SO different! Same for Aemond.

Masterlist

House Of The Dragon Masterlist

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“Why do you behave like this?” Alicent scoffed in disgust at her son. She was angered and annoyed at Aegon’s behaviors, no matter what it may be.

“Behave like what?” Aegon questioned with squinted eyes. He had completely closed in on himself, expecting the usual if not new degrading comments she always told him. Sure he was use to it, it's been happening all his life but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

“A monster. A little boy desperate for attention that believes since he’s a prince he can do whatever he wants without any consequences.” Alicent sneered at her son. She despised her and Viserys' children. They all seemed to have the confidence and arrogance of the Targaryens. Nothing in them reminded her of the Hightowers.

Aegon did not answer her after that. He just looked down trying not to let his emotions show in her presence. Aegon was done with showing weakness in front of her.

“Pathetic.” She spat before turning around and leaving Aegon’s chambers she had practically barged into.

A few moments later, after hearing the door slam Y/n peeked her head out of the hidden passageway she had rushed to when they heard Alicent outside his door. “Aegon?”

When she didn’t get a reply Y/n came out and walked towards where Aegon was seated on the end of his bed. She had heard everything the so called Queen had said to Aegon and Y/n was fuming on the inside. How dare she treat and say things like that to him. Her own son and a prince.

“She’s right, you know. I’m a monster.” Aegon mumbled looking down to his lap feeling immensely insecure since his mothers rant.

Y/n immediately shook her head, not agreeing with his statement at all. “No you are not. You are not a monster.”

“That's not what my mother says.” He spoke in a whisper.

“And what does she know? Rhaenyra was her best friend and look how she treats her? Look how she treats you and your siblings? She doesn’t know anything. Definitely nothing good or correct.” Y/n exclaimed lifting his chin to look at her as she talked, but Y/n knew it was because he was listening but the negative thoughts were still in his mind.

“I don’t understand why she take it out on us? On me?” He questioned out loud not to anyone in particular.

Since their betrothal Y/n had seen the toxic environment in King's Landing, in the castle. Between the Hightowers and the Targaryens. Including between Alicent and her own children.

“Because she’s upset that she had to marry your father. But you know what, she should grow up and act like a lady. Like a queen. That’s the way life is for a woman. Especially a woman born with any type of title. We don’t get to choose who we marry, or how many kids we have. Nothing. You just are forced to grin and bare it but the least she could do is protect and care for her children. Be supportive to her so-called friend that she had to marry the father of.” Y/n ranted but she had a point. To everything she said, it was all very true. Aegon listened intently to what Y/n had said and it pained him. In the short time they had known each other Aegon had really grown to love the woman in front of him. And to hear how she as a woman had no say in anything, that really hurt him to think that might be how she thinks their relationship is going to be once they marry. Aegon reached out to hold her hands.

“Is that how you feel with me? With our arranged marriage? That you have no choice and that all you’ll be good for is having my children?” Aegon asked question after question. He truly hoped he could make her feel like his equal. “Cause that's not how I want our relationship to be. I want to be good enough for you. That you want me even if we are already arranged and have no real say. I want us to fall in love with one another and not spite each other. I don’t want to force you to have a ton of heirs just so we can please the court and the people. I don’t want to please anyone other than you.”

Y/n was stunned by his words, not having thought he was worrying about such things.

Y/n squeezed his hands and then let one go and reached up to cup the nape of his neck, playing with his hair. Looking into his eyes when she spoke. “Aegon. You have been an exception to what I said. You have treated me very kindly since we’ve gotten to know one another and I greatly appreciate that you seek out my advice. That you care about my opinion on things, that you don’t want to force me into anything or let anyone hurt me. That you actually care about me and I’m not just some slave your meant to fake love and breed with. I want to please you as well Aegon. But the difference is for us it’s because we love each other, truly love each other. That we want to please each other. Not out of duty.”

Aegon shook his head, feeling a weight lifted off his chest. “It will never be out of duty.”

Aegon pulled Y/n onto his lap into a kiss he hoped betrayed the love he felt for her and appreciation for her believing in him.

Taglist: @gruffle1 @padawancat97 @misspendragonsworld

@starkleila

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autumn-foxfire · 1 month ago

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HAIBARA MOVIE!

Kir T-T She tried to save the woman but Gin is a bitch. It's good he didn't hear her though,

Not even minutes and he's already looking adorable!

And Ai is the sweetest girl in the world. She has seen so much cruelty and she still chooses to be nice T-T

I'm sure Agasa's inventions won't be anything important in the movie at all :p (He deserves so much more credit for his inventions).

Sonoko is also really nice and I adore her! She made sure Ai got her good karma in return for her own kindness towards the old woman.

Awww Akai is such a good dad, making sure that Shinichi and Ai stay safe. He's already an approvement on Shinichi's actually parents.

I was about to complain that Shinichi didn't mention the women of the BO but I didn't realise it was because he was revealing the info about their codenames. I didn't realise all the distilled liquor belong to the men of the org.

I feel so bad for Ran. She was shaking while she said this because her father couldn't even resist not drinking for a morning to join the trip.

Shinichi... You really just hitched a ride on the police boat because you can't leave anything alone T-T

Wow, he's actually acting the role of a child pretty well. Why can't he do this all the time?

He loves being complimented for his intelligence T-T

Shinichi should be sweating bullets right now with this technology.

Ever since how Shinichi counts has been relevent in a case, it's used all the time XD

And Amuro and Vermouth have shown up. This can't be good.

WHOOP! The secret it "out". And both Vermouth and Bourbon are scared for Shinichi (and Ai for Amuro, I guess).

Lmao yeah I guess the system would also be bad for the BO. Perhaps it's better it doesn't exist.

Camel magically grew back his hair (I know it's because this movie was in development way before that moment it's just funny).

Why are they playing this as a joke when it's devestating that they're made to deal with this.

I do appreciate Shinichi giving the kids hints instead of just telling the answer straight out and when he was struggling to give them a better one, Ai jumped in to help T-T

...Why aren't you telling Ai? I fucking HATE how the don't include her in the discussion when it's really imporant for her to be so.

THIS WAS SO CUTE. Okay they redeemed themselves slighty, but I would still love for her to included in discussions.

AI MADE SURE AYUMI WAS COVERED IN A BLANKET EVEN AS SHE'S FEARING FOR HER OWN LIFE AND TRYING TO RUN.

RAN!

OH MY GOD I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT AND I AM SO EXCITED.

Okay but now the org know Ran knows about them (she saw them kidnap a little girl) and she FUCKING FOUGHT THEM AGAIN. She. Should. Know. Because at this point they will kill her.

She is at her breaking point with him. I hope that broke a couple of ribs.

SHINICHI IS NOT GIVING UP ON AI T-T HE JUST DIVED OFF A CLIFF AND INTO THE OCEAN TO CHASE AFTER THEM.

Hearing Agasa cry is making me want to cry T-T SHE'S HIS FAMILY.

One very pissed off and very dangerous little boy.

HE'S SO ANGRY AND UPSET WITH HIMSELF AND WORRIED FOR AI OH MY GOD T-T

AI T-T

MY GOD THIS MOVIE HAS DONE MORE FOR AI IN THE PAST FEW MOMENTS THAN THE SERIES HAS DONE FOR HER IN A LONG TIME!

I love Kir noticing the bug and not doing anything about it T-T And I know that knot has been tied properly. The women are being treated well in this movie.

Awww, they're all protecting the children from the truth.

And Amuro has given Shinichi the info he needs to fuck shit up.

Kogoro is being treated like a nuisance this movie as well and I am all here for it even if the movies usually write him better.

Ai has always been so kind T-T

AI AND AKEMI T-T

But that explains why Ai was on her computer.

She has a dog? Can she get anymore perfect?

Can someone throw Kogoro out? Or bring back the Kogoro from the previous movie? Please?

You know what I also like? Vodka feels like an actual threat instead of the side goon.

My heart is breaking.

KIR! SHE'S DOING WHAT SHE CAN! I LOVE THE WOMEN IN THIS MOVIE!

And Gin has arrived.

Gin at this moment: My long hair and hat look awesome but damn they don't make a helicopter landing easy.

KIR IS THE MVP OF THIS MOVIE MY GOD I LOVE HER. She's hitting Gin where it hurts to give them more time. She has her mission, she said she'd never compromise it, but she won't let two innocents die in vain.

Shinichi internally: Get fucked Gin.

I FUCKING ADORE THEM.

I ADORE THEM AS WELL.

Vermouth saving Ai for a change. If only because she knows if they found the truth about her, they'd find the truth about Shinichi.

He adopted that expression from Kaito.

I don't know why I'm surprised to hear deep fake in Detective Conan.

Okay, Gosho, movie writers, women can have adam apples. Ran's bruise was enough to identify the man

SHE GETS TO BE AWESOME TWICE IN ONE MOVIE?! I LOVE THIS.

Lol but Shinichi, you wouldn't have been able to catch Ran in your normal body, you have not trained your arm muscles.

LOVE IT. BOTH OF THEM ARE IN DANGER.

AND HE IMMEDIATELY GOES TO MOCKING THE DUDE.

SHE CARES SO MUCH!

AND SHINICHI APOLOGISED TO HER! WHAT IS THIS MOVIE?! WHY IS IT WRITTEN SO WELL?! It's on par with the movie 23 because the writing is just incredible.

Amuro is worried about his son. Akai is also worried about his son.

SHINICHI HOLDING THE PHONES TOGETHER TO MAKE HIS DADS TALK IS HILARIOUS.

Awww, they put their differences aside to help their son.

Shinichi: I am down for doing something insane and dangerous.

I fucking love Vermouth fucking shit up while she's dressed in but a towel.

AND AI STILL HAS GREAT MOMENTS TO COME!

He lost everything to keep him alive and he still decided to fuck them up.

Akai earlier in the movie: A rifle won't work.

Akai's solution: I'll bring a rocket launcher.

R.I.P

And just like Shinichi wouldn't let Ai die, she won't let Shinichi die.

I ADORE THEM.

I love how Ran had a movie where she nearly drowned and Shinichi is like "hold my beer".

THIS IS SO GODDAMN ADORABLE. I see why this is the CoAi movie but I just appreciate their platonic bond with one another.

I don't appreciate the "kiss" comment, though. CPR isn't a kiss, it's to save a life.

Of course Shinichi has to show off one more time before the movie ends though.

RAN'S FIRST KISS WAS TO AI AND I LOVE IT.

Ai knows Ran is a lesbian and wanted to make sure she has her first kiss with a girl.

This really wasn't needed, especially because Ai didn't kiss Shinichi. She just wanted Ran's lips before him.

And Shinichi wasn't even that upset about it. He just looked confused with her XD

So the disguises that Vermouth and Kaito can create would fool the AI. Interesting.

AND IT BROUGHT BACK AI'S ACTIONS FROM THE START OF THE FILM WITH IT BEING VERMOUTH!

This movie was great. It's tied with number 23.

#dcmk #foxy's dcmk commentary

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whisperingwisterias · 4 months ago

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Wolf Children and Struggling with Identity

Wolf Children is not only the story of a single mother trying to raise her kid as best as she can after the death of her lover, but also about two kids who struggle with trying to figure out their identity when society tells them that half of who they are is wrong. Although Yuki and Ame’s wolf heritage is not something they chose and certainly not something they should have to hide or be ashamed of, Wolf Children shows us how society’s discrimination against anything that is “different” make people like Yuki and Ame feel as though they have to change who they are to get accepted by society.

We first see this kind of discrimination with Hana’s lover, the Wolf Man. When he tells her the truth about who he is, it is clear that he has accepted that his wolf heritage will always make him inherently “lesser” than the people around him. In leading up to his reveal, he refers to himself as a “what” and not a “who,” dehumanizing himself right off the bat. He said that he had come to terms with the fact that his wolf side was likely something he would always have to hide, and that he had just accepted the fact that he would always be alone because no one would be able to accept him for who he was. After telling Hana who he was, he even expected her to break up with him, to be scared of him, to completely walk out of his life. However, Hana’s response to his confession highlights just how unfair and irrational such discrimination is: she’s not scared of him because he’s him, and she knows him. She does not see him as his differences, she just sees him as the person she loves.

However, as Yuki and Ame are born, it’s clear that the rest of the world does not share the same mindset. Much like their father, every wolfish part of them has to be hidden out of fear that people around them will react badly or take them away from Hana. When they were both born, Hana had to give birth without any help from a medical professional, in case they both came out looking like wolves. When they want to do something as simple as go on a walk or play around, Hana constantly has to be on guard and make sure they don’t transform and give themselves away. When they get sick, she can’t let them go to a doctor, and when they see other kids playing in the park, she can’t let them go play with them. Even in their own home just being themselves and indulging in their wolfish sides gets them dangerous scrutiny. It gets to the point where Hana even needs to uproot her family’s lives just to live somewhere where they don’t constantly have to hide.

As they get older, Yuki and Ame start to realize just what their heritage means for them and how society treats them because of it. In the books Ame reads he constantly finds wolves being villainized and cast as the bad characters, which upsets him and makes him feel ashamed of the wolfish part of him. And although he learns to embrace that side of him, society does not let him be both human and a wolf, and feels as though he does not belong or fit in with people. When society criticizes him for his differences, he gives up on finding a place in society. Conversely, when the girls at her school criticize Yuki for her differences, like the way she dresses and the things she finds interesting and all the wolfish habits she’s grown up with, she gives up on that part of herself so that she might fit in with society. They made her feel ashamed of that part of herself and like she was less of a person for being different: Yuki said that she didn’t know how little girls were supposed to act, but that what she did know is that she was doing it all wrong. She told herself that she was going to learn how to behave properly, even if it killed her—and in a way, it did. She did not want to identify with her wolf side anymore, and she rejected it as being part of her, just like Ame rejected his human side.

Although both Yuki and Ame found happiness in the identities they formed and the side of their heritage they chose; it’s sad that society’s inability to accept all parts of them made them have to choose. Wolf Children demonstrates how discrimination doesn’t just harm how others view us, but how we also view ourselves. People should be able to embrace all of who they are without having to worry about how it is perceived, but society’s tendency to discriminate needs to change before that can truly happen.

#wolf children #anime analysis

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tenderhungering · 6 months ago

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Have you noticed how women are used in the film? Their suffering, grief, ambitions and even deaths. It all benefits the men.

yes, i have! i think it was during the first time i watched with two of my friends that we mentioned how fucked up it seemed to bring in lilly. she was an abused child in circumstances that june describes as inhumane and now she's supposed to come on and chat about said abuse.

to better delve into this though, i'm going to do a little ramble on each female character (i've been meaning to this regardless so this question has me excited!)

Lilly

as i mentioned before, lilly, to the public, is an abused child who has been rescued from a cult and is now the subject of dr. june's book. i believe that june really did care for lilly but she in a way, was still benefiting from her by writing about her. something to study while parenting. reminds me a bit about parents who write about raising troubled children.

jack brings them onto the show almost because he knows how shocking this is to audiences, to have survived what lilly did. i think that fear and shame but also desire kiss on the mouth. the public both fears the occult but want to learn more, there is some sort of fascination with the idea of someone being in it and being able to get out of it (would people do the same?). lilly is a spectacle. she is to go from not knowing the outside world to standing in front of the camera and expecting to behave like a typical girl her age. it's almost like she has to prove herself well-adjusted after her trauma.

june explains to her that everyone having a demon inside of them, acknowledging that lilly's might be a little more literal but because the demon serves as a stark reminder of her time in the cult, it's similar to someone working around their triggers. everyone has hurt in them. like a therapist helping you work with carrying that hurt rather than just suppressing it. clearly the demon leaves lilly exhausted, upset and feel not like herself. she's crying after her scene and asking june as to why she's hurt her, and apologizing for whatever happened when Mr. Wriggles was there. she is not in control of her actions. but jack wants more. he's momentarily sympathetic but realizes that it's getting him higher ratings. the more hurt is displayed, the happier than the media is.

even in the final scene, when the demon possesses her, we can see it in her face that she's distraught. confused. but all the camera does is zoom in on her expression,

June

june is so intriguing to me as a character because it's almost as though her instinct toward things is a calm and collected behavior, one that thinks of the ethics of it, whether anyone will get hurt, but her decisions are so easily swayed by jack. and he knows exactly what to tell her too. Everyone finally take you seriously. It is the 70s so there's no surprise that misogyny is rampant (though the 70s did introduce the second wave of feminism, she may be a representation of challenging attitudes as well). june is a very passionate woman in her studies, she'd be considered an expert in the field but this is almost immediately dismissed as soon as she's introduced as a doctor. you call yourself that. is that what you believe you are? can you prove you are?

i think it makes june feel better if everyone has a distance from lilly - hence writing a book about her. you can know lilly through the pages. you don't need to make her suffer for views then, you can educate yourself on what was happened to her and understand she's hurt more than necessary. she might've felt the need to write the book for them both. lilly need to be understood and emphasized with as more than just a "child of d'abo". but jack invites her with the idea of simply talking about said book, one of her biggest accomplishments and instead wants to treat them like some sort of circus act. do a trick for me, june! you know how to! it's not enough that you tell me you know, you have to show me, you have to prove yourself to me, the camera makes it real.

it is that logic that sometimes makes her feel inclined to prove herself. and sometimes this is at the cost of her own morals.

Minnie

my beautiful wife,,,

i love minnie. so much. i've written a bit about how i think she was prior to her death in other asks but i never quite touch so much on how much she was exploited by both jack and the industry.

to be ill is a personal affair. and it was on all the tabloids whenever minnie was diagnosed with cancer (even if she did not smoke! i mention this because while smoking might contribute to lung cancer, it did feel like an odd mention that they'd pay so much attention to whether or not she did? it might've been to emphasize how sudden this all was but i'd also like to throw in that perhaps she was also just taking care of her voice! she was in theatre.) she has no privacy to mourn the gradual loss of her life. some people believe the cult was implied to be the one who had made this illness manifest for her which is awful in its own regard and more so when one considers the fact they did it to get to jack. almost as though minnie is an extension of himself and not his own person.

jack inviting her to the show could very well be done just because he wanted to invite his wife (though it does feel a bit odd he waited till she was sick to do this. maybe it was some sort of public gesture of affection, they both live to entertain, it's their job) but there's something saddening about the ordeal. it's almost as though knowing minnie was sick was not enough, the public had to see her in order to have some sort of confirmation. and the immediate comment about inviting her over being followed how even then, this wasn't enough to surpass johnny carson is morbid to say the least. almost as though minnie had just been used as a way to gain better ratings. sympathy ratings. i don't want to remove any agency of minnie, it might have been her decision to go on the show but the public's reaction to is that is what is more concerning.

even her death was simply a sacrifice. she was nothing more than a missing puzzle piece to have jack move forward (or downwards?). something that would benefit jack. as all the women in the film have been. each with such distinct personalties and motives to what keeps them going (or who are still amidst figuring out what they'd want out of life) being only part of a larger scheme where men are the benefactors. the grove only allowed men. the cult birthed sacrifices from their women. women are a stepping stone. a chess piece. something that needs to bleed for someone who demands it.

i love writing about how compelling these characters are! so sorry if sometimes my ramblings feel leaning more towards just dissection rather than downright analysis! i hope it gave some insight though!

#late night with the devil #lnwtd #june ross mitchell #lilly d’abo #minnie delroy #madeleine delroy #the women of lnwtd #jack delroy #laura gordon #ingrid torelli #georgina haig #david dastmalchian #character study

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mishkakagehishka · 2 years ago

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And here's from the thread i posted on twt but slightly reworked bc i think i wasted it on twt lol but

There's the idea that speaking a dialect makes someone less educated or dumb. And asides from the fact that i just think kansai sounds Good, Mika subverts this trope of characters in media who are given dialectal speech as a symbol of "this character is meant to be dumb" because he is actually GENUINELY intelligent. I can name examples for three days, but in the end I always return to HE READ. THE MABINOGION. IN MIDDLE ENGLISH. And got into Yumenosaki which is apparently known for having an awfully difficult entrance exam. What i'm saying is, i appreciate SO MUCH that happyele didn't give him a "country" accent because they wanted us to know he's dumb in the simplest way they could show it. They actually let him have a personality that doesn't revolve around stereotypes. His dialect is treated as nothing more than his manner of speaking, not something that is tied into his intelligence or something we are supposed to judge his character based on. In fact, he himself has talked about how people see him and how they expect him to act just because of his accent - and he has mentioned that it's upsetting to him!!! It's refreshing to see this sort of stuff acknowledged in media when for so long, non-standard accents and dialects were just used as another way to present a character's lack of intelligence and education through speech characterisation.

And you know what - I think that fits very well into the other thing I really love ab him - he's a character based entirely on contrast and paradoxes. Not just the contrast between him speaking a dialect associated with certain characteristics (extroversion, humour, openness, but also stupidity) and being. Well. Shy and introverted and not very quick with coming up with funny quips and INTELLIGENT (i have eternal beef with everyone who falls for Mika's "uhm sorry I musta dropped my brain somewhere" act). But also so many other contrasts like. I don't care, I choose to believe his mismatched eyes are supposed to represent that. Asymmetric on the outside AND inside. We all know he loves creepy/cute, he often calls creepy stuff cute and he loves horror movies and he collects scary images/posters but he also LOVES cute things, he rescues plushies from the trash!! And fixes them and names them and loves them!!!!

But like whatever whatever he's a little orphan who lied to us ab getting adopted, who almost buried his roommate alive bc he thought he killed him, who threatened to kill himself or Shu's future spouse if he gets married, who has been obsessed with Some Guy since he saw him once in, like, elementary(?) school, who decided to enter Yumenosaki (AND MANAGED) almost on impulse, who loves the trash-picking part-time jobs bc he doesn't have to interact with anyone, who collects and fixes thrown away plushies, who apparently makes eroguro art, who wants to be a beacon of hope for all the children who were abandoned and feel as alone as he did, who manages to overcome shyness when he has to talk for TV bc Shu is too shy etc etc i actually adore him.

He means everything to me.

#i'm like. feeling very normal ab him #i genuinely love him :( he's my little scrunkly #ensemble stars #mishka🍬

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oars · 11 months ago

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hiii I want to know more about appindex 👉👈

what is his relationship like with the other party members?

How easily does she trust other people?

If they are stressed or upset is there a thing/place/action that is comforting to him?

also anything else you want to share?

(I LOVE her design by the way, their appearance immediately caught my attention. Love your use of color too)

sorry this took me so long i swear when i saw this ask i started squealinf abd looking like this

gonna put it under a read more since um im gonna assume this will get really long lol

disclaimer im gonna straight spill my thoughts sorry if things stop making sense

i made a small comic just for the first question but tumblr doesnt like it for some reason and it prevents it from showing up unless you go directly to my blog :<

anyways i think overall appindex is like a mother of at least 6. companions come to them in the middle of the night like "i frew up :(" that typa thing

since family/clan n loyalty is very important to dragonborn and appindex just lost theirs before being abducted they are very quick to attach to these losers

i think while appin is not under the control of any god, lord, devil, etc they've created a personal hell of his own bc he tries to bear all responsibilities and burdens of those around him bc he's scared of failing and losing too much again. or all he has left really. that can make them kind of overbearing and it would be annoying if like the main companions didn't have issues and lowkey liked the attention.

what does get annoying is that it comes off as appindex not trusting their companions to do any heavy lifting but that improves in like act 2-3 especially since that's around the part the tav is expected to save baldurs gate. and the world like that's way too much weight for appin to carry on their own without breaking so atp they don't really have a choice but to let their companions share some of that albeit verrrry reluctantly

slightly more specific relations ---

shadowheart: shart is the first appin gets close to even if shes older i like to think she's like a little sister to appindex anyways <3 i should just show screenshots of the epilogue conversation bc it feels so fitting. probably one of the only companions to recognize appin's exhaustion and nag her

karlach: close in a years long tumblr mutual type intimacy way. "i'd let my mutuals come inside idc" type relationship. they occasionally sleep and cuddle naked. as good friends do. it's nice having someone they could rely on for literal heavy lifting and hitting bc in appin's eyes the rest of his companions are made of sticks and paper, save for lae'zel. girls who rip off heads with their bare hands and paint their nails in the blood :3

astarion: i do not know how to explain their relationship early on bc it fluctuates in my head. obviously irritated by how appin stops to help anyone and everyone especially since most of those people in act 1 are parents and children. appindex definitely laughs at his lame ass "seduction" bc it's pretty see through; it becomes less about seducing and just aiming making them laugh. appin probably said "im proud of you" at some point and it got to his head now he's vying for their attention and validation (get in line). my white hollow boned elf i'd probably give my organs to if he asked - appin

i think appindex is the more mature one, mentally and emotionally, especially since dragonborn develop and mature much earlier than elves do and i feel like dying young and being under cazador's control stunted astarions own maturity a bit. the result is appindex treating him like a child sometimes; not trusting him to do a number of things, scolding him,"dont treating me like a child" "dont act like one" etc etc. i think at some point he just does it and wears on appindex's extensive patience on purpose because he's a little freak like that :/. appin does not think its cute

ok no more of them next question

i think appindex is pretty trusting in a way. if they feel like they have no reason to feel threatened by someone they'll have their trust but that doesn't mean it can't be lost ofc. which is why they trust laezel and astarion so easily. why would they be scared of a tiny white elf who can't even get them to knife point (he failed that).

he does struggle to trust others to do things for them though, if he were ever to be out of commission or on the verge of it it would be like pulling teeth to try and get him to let someone else lead temporarily.

appin holds onto a piece of kednyr's old blanket bc it still smells like her :thumbs_up: karlach gives her a teddy bear with that piece attached to it as a gift. astarion may have helped but he will not confirm

extra notes ermm appin lived in the upper city, not a patriar or a servant, they just co-run an expensive smithy there.

as a passionate blacksmith (and someone who wants to become an artificer) appin is really intrigued by karlach's engine and wishes they could collaborate with dammon on how to fix it or make her a new one entirely

to add onto that he's extremely fascinated by the grymforge in the underdark its like a theme park to him. it is their nerdiest point in the storyline

they can stay underwater for a good period of time; an hour is their highest time

andd she has a prosthetic leg around age 40-45 sorry this got so long . this things in my head 24/7 rn i tried to omit some things to make it shorter but oh well

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dyns33 · 1 year ago

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Agon part 2

Second and last part of my Agon story

"You'll have to be patient with Agon. It's his first time."

Unsui wasn't stupid. Y/N repeated it to herself, as she had repeated it to herself when he told her that he knew that she and his brother had been in love for years. He had been right.

But this time his sentence was really stupid. She knew about all of Agon's previous conquests, and he wasn't just shaking hands with girls.

“His first time ?”

"Yes. For everything. You're his first girlfriend."

"Unsui, I've known you and your brother for years, I know I'm not the first girl he's been with."

"The others didn't mean anything. They weren't girlfriends. There were no feelings. He's not good at that. Please, be patient."

When it came to important things, especially feelings, Y/N knew she could listen to the older twin. Even though he was single, he was better at it than his little brother.

After resting his head on her shoulder, Agon drank his coffee and left without them really discussing their relationship. He returned several times afterward, following the same ritual, never broaching the question of love.

It's been almost a month.

Now that she thought about it, Y/N had to admit that it must have been complicated for Agon. The genie had no idea what to do with someone he truly loved.

Thanks to Unsui, they knew everything the other had thought, said or done since they were children. The bright looks, the shy smiles, the hidden attentions. But that didn't help him at all in knowing what to do now.

The other girls were easy to seduce. Agon didn't care if he hurt them. He just took, took everything, whenever he wanted, without ever giving anything in return. They never really knew him.

Y/N really knew him. She accepted him despite his faults, and she wasn't afraid to tell him when he was doing wrong, refusing to run away.

It was normal for Unsui to do this, they were brothers, but Y/N could change her mind one day.

“Did he ask you for advice ?”

"No. And I won't give him any. But I have one for you. Don't make it easy for him. Let him struggle. He knows you like him, so he might think he doesn't doesn't need to make much effort, prove him wrong and that you deserve to be courted properly. I told him you'd be upset if he didn't do that."

"Unsui, you can be terribly cruel sometimes."

“He asked for it.”

No one could deny that Agon had been harsh to his brother for years. Well, not at first.

At first, Agon was simply gifted, without wondering if it had an impact on others, on his brother. Then everyone had admired him, congratulated him, feared him, and Unsui too had treated him like a god, groveling at his feet and telling him that he could do anything without worrying about the consequences. So that's what he did. It was only Y/N who noticed that his behavior wasn't always for fun.

Sometimes he waited to be told to stop. He expected someone to treat him normally. Unsui only reprimanded him when his attitude threatened his performance, and never for real, never to the end. So until his first defeat, he had no reason to change.

It was the same with intimate relationships, he had always acted a certain way, and with Y/N it was going to be different, and therefore complicated.

"Here." Agon muttered, handing her a package when they were in a restaurant.

"What's that ?"

“You’ll know if you open it.”

They were sunglasses, from a luxury brand. Very expensive. Horribly gaudy. Not at all the kind of thing Y/N wore.

"… Thanks ?"

“You don’t like them.” he said slowly with a dangerous voice.

“Let’s say it’s practical when it’s sunny.”

“But you don’t like them.” This time he looked disappointed, although he tried to hide it.

Before he reacted stupidly, Y/N kissed him on the cheek. The disappointed look disappeared, replaced by an impassive face, the one he used to hide all his emotions.

“It makes me happy that you gave me a gift.”

No, she didn't like the glasses, but she wasn't going to be as mean as Unsui asked her to be. Throughout the rest of the evening, Agon was quite silent, probably too busy not to blush.

It was a bit amusing, she was willing to admit. Perhaps Unsui's words had had an impact, because apart from this kiss on the cheek, there was nothing else, not the slightest contact.

Too early, not yet deserved.

There were other gifts, not always very conventional, but always touching. The gesture in any case, the clumsy attempts. It was still a bit long.

Then he invited her to a training session for his university team. Y/N had never attended the brothers' games when they were in high school, she wasn't interested.

No doubt to tease his brother, Unsui had invited her to the university and not being able to stand that he had something he didn't have, Agon had therefore done the same thing, without worrying about what his team was going to say.

A man named Hiruma snickered a lot.

"Who is it ?" he asked with a broad smile that indicated he knew very well who she was.

“Shut up, trash. You don’t talk to her, you don’t look at her, you don’t breathe her air !”

“Girlfriend, huh ?”

“Get out there and get ready to get your ass kicked.”

It wasn't really a good idea to snap at an important member of your own team, but Agon wasn't good at socializing. Hiruma continued to smile.

On the bench, Y/N simply noted that he didn't deny that she was his girlfriend.

Since he had brought girls to practice before, no one was really surprised, but only the demonic quarterback seemed to understand that she was special because she was important.

The others thought she was special because she wasn't like the other girlfriends. Y/N clearly heard them talking about it, as she went to get some water.

"I mean, she's cute. But not as sexy as the last two. Remember ? A bit too much lipstick, not really smart, but great !"

“Maybe she has a lot of money ?”

"Guys, we should get back to training…"

"Ikkyu, go play somewhere else."

They should have listened to this Ikkyu, because Hiruma crushed them since they weren't focused enough. Agon crushed them because he felt something was wrong with Y/N and they were responsible.

In the evening, he stayed at her house longer than usual, sitting on the couch, staring at her silently as she changed the channel.

“Tell me what’s going on in your little head.”

“As if you’d tell me what’s going on in yours.” she retorted, avoiding looking at him.

"You would tell Unko-chan. Tell me."

"… I'm less pretty than the girls you used to date."

There must have been a lot of interesting shows or series, but Y/N was binging so fast that she didn't really have time to realize what was on the screen. It didn't matter in the slightest.

"So what ?" Agon finally asked.

“Then I’m not your type of girl.”

“It’s more fun if they’re hot.”

“I suspect so.”

“I’m not with you to have fun.”

Y/N stopped pressing the pop for a second, time to process what he had just said. She could have been the smarter one, turned to him and kissed him, but she was tired tonight. She was tired of being the smart one. She wasn't really good at it either.

She continued to press.

“You might find a pretty girl for something serious.”

“It’s with you that I want something serious.”

“I don’t like it when you do that.”

"What ?"

"When you speak. And you ask me to speak."

Agon seemed to understand. He seemed to approve of what she had just said. He nodded, before taking off his sunglasses. Then he moved slightly, enough to rest his head against hers. Y/N did the same thing.

But it was still too early, and he didn't kiss her until he was leaving, after she had walked him to the door. An awkward, almost tender kiss. Like a real first kiss.

"I will call you tomorrow." he muttered, making a face.

"I'll tell your brother that you're doing well with the courting."

"… I'm going to kill him."

The next day, he hadn't killed his twin but he had finally become himself again, criticizing his brother, acting like an idiot, but above all putting an arm around Y/N to proudly show that they were together, that she was his, and that he had no explanation to give.

That didn't mean everything would be the same as before. Because it was special with her. His first time, ever. The one that meant something.

To congratulate him on his efforts, she gave him chocolates. His favorites, the ones she gave him when he sent a student to the hospital.

Agon looked at the package, his eyes shining with the same gleam as when he opened his cashier.

“I knew there was a reason I loved that shit.”

“Loved ?”

"No, nothing. It's like the glasses."

She saw what he meant. Y/N kissed him on the cheek, and he grimaced to not show that he was blushing.

When she told Unsui, he shook his head and sighed, even though he was happy for them.

#eyeshield 21 #agon kongo #agon kongo x reader #agon kongo fanfiction

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hurremsultanns · 6 months ago

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I always had issues with MC where they want us to be upset with a character and I just wasn’t.

Like the fire in season 1 where Hurrem gets in trouble for blaming Mahidevran for it. Obviously it doesn’t make sense for Mahidevran to have done it because it would’ve placed Mustafa in danger too. However, Hurrem isn’t thinking rationally. She’s thinking this is the woman who beat me nearly to death and tried to poison me while I was pregnant and taunted me while I was locked up in a dungeon. She’s literally had nightmares about Mahidevran smothering Mehmed so no duh her first suspect is going to be Mahidevran. But then instead of being able to explain her reasoning, Suleyman chastises her for not showing Mahi respect and then ignores her until he comes back from campaign

Another example was when Suleyman fell sick for the first time. The show was making Mahidevran out to be the villain for wanting her son to go to the thrown instead of being upset that the man who had rejected her several times over was on the brink of death. Mahi, as a mother and as someone who knew that she’d never be able to get back into Suleyman’s affections, had to prioritize herself and her son ahead of anyone else. Obviously her threats against Hurrem and her children were wrong but it was legally expected as we can see Hurrem doing to little Mehmed in season 4 and Nurbanu doing to Bayezid’s youngest son with Defne. She blames Hurrem for a lot of things in life so seeing her upset would feel triumphant for her but her children were also genuine threats to Mustafa. Then after Suleyman recovers she loses trust with her previously close allies, especially Hafsa. I wasn’t necessarily rooting for her but I didn’t think she was evil for what she did either

Everything you said exactly neither of those were their finest hours but they're both understandable.

Hürrem is a traumatised and understandably paranoid TEENAGER and Mahidevran literally tried to kill her twice. Once when she was pregnant. It was obviously a wrong thing to do, but it makes sense why she would act in that way.

And Mahidevran is understandable given how as you said Süleyman treated her and also given the context of the fratricide law. Much like with Hürrem, people seem to expect her to be OK with the possibility of her son's death and that is completely unreasonable.

Overall there is a reason why it's Hürrem and Mahidevran in particular who get framed like this in my opinion. And it's because they're women from a slave background. The show is far more forgiving of nobles and men. Especially military men. Look at how forgiving the narrative is of Ibrahim in spite of how much worse he is than either Hürrem or Mahidevran for example. And the fact that so many fans just accept the sexist narrative is deeply concerning.

#hürrem sultan #mahidevran sultan #answered #anon

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solitariusdeluna · 2 years ago

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it’s 2023 dear rpc

and accordingly, on this very first day of the new year. been here rping for a little over a decade now on tumblr and thought to share what i hope to see more of in the role-playing community.

more interactions with your mutuals. and less cliquey-ness. i mean it’s only natural and human nature to like certain people more than others. but that’s not what i’m talking about here. what i mean is actually trying to reach out and interact with the mutuals you followed and share a dash with. be it ooc or ic. you did follow them for a reason. and trust me they would love to hear your thoughts and views on their creations or even how you could write together. be that kind soul that showers others with good words. but also rping is a two-way street and you shouldn’t expect people to come to you if you can’t or don’t want to do the same. kick shyness to the curb and reach out to your mutuals more.��

it’s okay to soft block/hard block others, it’s not personal. alternatively, sometimes you will have fallouts with people for whatever reason. do what is best for you and learn to set your own boundaries for your own comfort. if that means soft-blocking or even hard blocking. so be it. at the end of the day, you have to look out for numero uno and that is you. maybe, somewhere down the line when the fates allow it things will change and you can talk again to those you can’t at the moment. but even if that never happens, that’s okay too. not everyone is meant to get along at the end of the day.

sending random praise or feedback. when you like someone’s portrayal of a certain character you adore. or if they make you see some character in a manner you never thought was possible and you ended up liking them. then let that person know! chances are you will end up making their day and isn’t that the best feeling ever? a little kindness goes a long way. paying it forward will make it come back to you eventually too.

could we stop with the vague blogging. seriously many of us have been here for ages and are now adults. there is no excuse for it. you’re no longer an ignorant child to do it. it’s just not cool. don’t vague people. if something upsets you, step away from the pc and go get some fresh air. you probably need it more than staring at the puter anyway. just don’t vague someone to make yourself feel better or gain pity points. if the thing still bugs you go be brave and talk to the person directly. keep it off the dash because honestly, vague blogging is small-minded and weak. it’s also indirect bullying since the people agreeing with you because they like you, are dissing on someone they know nothing about.

drama is best for ic threads not ooc. this also carries on from the previous point. call-out culture, vague blogging, creating ooc drama, virtue signalling, policing others all that needs to just be forgotten and left behind with the years that have passed as by. again, we are adults here. no excuses for acting like children and treating others like shit just so you can feel better. that goes for anon hate too. it’s cowardly. it’s sad. it sucks. and you can do so much better than that.

curb your rp partner expectations pls. rping might not be for you if you find it difficult to accept the fact that your rping partner writes and ships with someone other than you. unless you both agree to be in a single-ship situation which is different and not the current topic. rp partners will write with others and if that is not okay with you then maybe it’s time to go move on. it's just healthy for folks to have several rping partners since it’s more fun that way and that’s how your own character develops. but other times maybe you and them just don’t gel and that is no fault of anyone. just happens. and if it does also time to move on.

you are allowed to turn down rp requests. you are allowed to say no without explaining yourself. you are allowed to not get along with people. you are allowed to not write anything if you’re not feeling it. you are allowed not to feel guilty. you are allowed to delete asks or drafts if they make you feel guilty since you tried but just couldn’t get to them. you are allowed to just have fun. rping is a hobby. it’s fun. it’s not a job. do what makes you feel good and that is all.

stop comparing yourself to duplicates. everyone is good in their own way. and that is the beauty of different interpretations. just because someone you follow writes more with a version of your muse doesn’t make yours any less valid. your muse is just as valid as anyone else’s. comparing yourself with others only makes you miserable and is bad headspace you don’t want to get yourself into. try and avoid that and just have fun writing the character you chose because you love them!

make it a habit to praise others. writing it again because yes pls. here is a reminder to appreciate your fellow mutuals and other role players on things other than how well-liked they are. commend them on their writing. praise their artwork. appreciate their presence on your dash or anything else that highlights their talent rather than how "famous" they are. people love it when they are recognised and appreciated. they like it when their abilities are adored. not just that consideration of how many people adore them.

and lastly, can we just have fun. rping at the end of the day is about writing not just by yourself, that’s fanfiction. but it’s writing and weaving a story with another person. and making characters come alive and just shine in their own right. and that is the beauty of rping and why I’ve personally stuck to it for a good decade. it’s never boring. there’s always something new to learn or enjoy. and there are lots of friendships to be made during that process too. enjoy it and don’t stress it.

#happy new year #psa #role playing psa #just something i wanted to share #feel free to reblog

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yanderecrazysie · 1 year ago

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request:

yandere alphabet for shirabu

So many Shirabu requests! I think this is the last one, but I'm so glad I got to write for him!

Shirabu Kenjirou (Haikyuu) -The Yandere Alphabet

👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️

Warnings: yandere themes, murder, accidental injury

A is for Affection: How do they show their affection for their darling? How often do they show it?

💖Shirabu is not good at expressing his affection. He wants to be, but he’s just not.

💖He likes to play with your hair and stroke the top of your head a lot, but that’s pretty much the extent of it.

💖He’s inadvertently tsundere a lot of the time, so that probably adds to the issue of affection.

B is for Blood: How messy are they willing to get for their darling? Why?

🔪Shirabu prefers to use other methods, such as blackmail and threats. But he will stoop to murder if necessary.

🔪It would be a quick, efficient kill with very little mess and very well-covered tracks.

🔪He would get away with murder. He’s smart enough to and very careful at covering his tracks.

C is for Care or Cruelty: How would they treat their darling when they kidnap them? Would they mock them?

💔He’s mainly kind, in a way. Kind of tsundere about it somehow.

💔But a little mocking. More like teasing, but sometimes he goes too far. He’ll feel bad if you start to cry or something.

D is for Delusion: How delusional are they when it comes to their darling? Do they believe their darling loves them?

💭He’s not delusional at all. He’s extremely aware of everything and remains that way.

💭He’s often disgusted by his own actions, but he finds them necessary and worth it in the end.

E is for Expose: How much of their heart do they bear to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling? How much time will it take to trust them?

💧He builds up pretty tall walls for everyone, including you. It’ll be hard to break them down, but you’re the most capable of doing so.

💧He doesn’t want to share any of his heart with anyone, because it makes him feel weak and powerless.

💧He may never trust you, depending on how you behave, but there is a possibility. He’s still very careful, even when trusting you.

F is for Fight: How would they react if their darling fought back?

👊He would be surprised at first, because he expected tears, not punches.

👊I think he’d get super pissed after the shock wears off though and skip immediately to punishment time.

G is for Guilt: What would it take for them to feel guilty about their actions? Or do they feel guilty from the start?

😔Like I said, Shirabu sees all of his actions as worth it in the end, so he doesn’t really feel guilt.

😔The only time he feels guilt is when he acts impulsively and hurts you (emotionally or physically), because he knows he messed up and did something stupid for no reason.

H is for Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

🔥Making Shirabu angry is not pretty, to be honest. He rages pretty badly and loses his temper easily.

🔥He might accidentally grab you hard enough to leave bruises or say things that make you cry. He’ll apologize eventually, but only when he cools down.

I is for Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

👩‍❤️‍👨Shirabu doesn’t entirely care about things like getting married or having kids, his end goal is simply being with you.

👩‍❤️‍👨If he had to choose more than that, he’d at least get married. He doesn’t particularly love children, but if you wanted them, he’d be fine with one or two.

J is for Jealousy: How easily do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

💢He’s a “happy” medium. He doesn’t get jealous too easily but it does upset him.

💢He 100% lashes out, and he may say something he doesn’t mean.

K is for Kidnap: How would they go about kidnapping their darling? How much do they plan it out?

🔒He prefers to have a happy relationship simply because it’s simpler, but he will resort to kidnapping if he thinks it’s necessary.

🔒If he does, it’s planned to a T. Mistakes just simply won’t happen with how prepared he is. No chance of escape at all.

L is for Love Letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

💌He’s a tsundere and a bit shy when it comes to love, so he’d probably be very bad at it. That’s why he may resort to threats, blackmail, or kidnapping to force a relationship.

💌He finds most “romantic gestures” too sappy, so he’s probably not going to win your heart through traditional ways at all. Probably just a blunt “go out with me?”

M is for Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they acted before?

🎭He can get kind of blushy and shy/embarrassed around you, in a way he’s not with any other girl. His teammates would definitely notice this change if you come around, even if it’s not obvious to others.

🎭He also shows off more, especially in volleyball. He usually doesn’t care if he’s noticed while setting, but if you’re there? You sure as hell better notice him.

N is for Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

🚓Isolation is a go-to for sure, but so is screaming in your face about how stupid and ungrateful you are. You’ll probably be in tears by the time he’s done with you.

🚓If he’s especially pissed, he may physically lash out at the time, but he will seriously regret that later.

O is for Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling? What rights can be earned with time and trust?

📜Shirabu is somewhat controlling, but only to make sure you can’t run away from him. He’s a lot more lax with rules when he has a way to make sure you can’t escape.

📜He’s very strict with his existing rules, however, and can kind of flip out when some are broken.

P is for Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

🕊️Not very much at all. At first, while you’re settling in, he forces himself to be calm and gentle with you, but after a while he’ll lose that initial patience.

Q is for Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

🏃‍♀️Shirabu would be a shell of his former self, to be honest. He’d go on living, if you can call it that, but he’d miss you every day and never truly move on.

🏃‍♀️If you escape, he’ll be both terrified and furious. Terrified that you’ll turn him in and all his careful planning will go to waste, and furious that you dared to leave him.

R is for Rage: How do they act when angry? How do they calm down?

👿He yells. A lot. He can get pretty insulting with his words to the point of breaking you down to tears.

👿He isn’t usually physically violent, but he can lash out when extremely angry and can accidentally grip you too hard.

S is for Soulmate: What made them fall in love with their darling? How did they first meet? When did they realize they loved their darling?

💍Shirabu probably met you during either school or work. It’s during those settings, where he’s serious and concentrating, that he truly notices when something is distracting him.

💍He goes into denial for quite a while, not over how he feels but over how deeply he feels it. He tries to bury these feelings deep down but they keep resurfacing until he can’t ignore them any longer.

💍When he accepts those feelings, he immediately starts pursuing you, which might be confusing. He goes from “I don’t care about you” to “okay maybe I really, really like you” in a snap.

T is for Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

😭If he’s angry, he’ll feel like you deserve it. If he’s not, he’ll feel like garbage and apologize.

😭He does feel sympathy for you, but he’s more of a logical person instead of an emotional one. Tears won’t sway him.

U is for Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

👌Shirabu is both logical and hot-headed, which is kind of interesting. It’s easy for him to snap when it comes to anger, but otherwise he’s very stoic.

V is for Visit: Would they allow anyone else to visit their darling? Do they trust their darling to talk to their loved ones (in person, on the phone, etc.) or not at all?

🧳No. Shirabu is nothing if not careful, he’s secretly terrified someone will turn him in for kidnapping.

W is for Weakness: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

❌ Shirabu is pretty well-balanced and very intelligent, so it’ll be difficult to exploit a weakness.

❌ However, if you make him angry, it can sometimes put him off his game and make him careless. Unfortunately, you’ve got an angry Shirabu to deal with in that situation.

X is for Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

🛐 He’s not a worshiper. He loves you, yes, but he doesn’t worship you. He’s not that kind of guy.

🛐 He will do his best to win your heart, but he’s awkward and tsundere-y about it.

Y is for Yearning: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

😍 Quite a while! He tries to deny his feelings and how deep they go for a very long time.

😍 He also takes a very long time to plan everything he does out, so after he snaps, you’ll still have time.

Z is for Zero Tolerance: What is the thing that always makes them snap? What things will they not allow their darling to do under any circumstances?

0️⃣ Personally, I think out of all the many things that makes him snap, saying “I hate you” is the quickest way to both piss him off and break his heart.

0️⃣ He’s trying not to cry through his anger, reminding himself that you don’t mean it- you’re just scared!

#yandere #yandere haikyuu #haikyuu!!#yandere alphabet #yandere shirabu #shirabu kenjirou

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princessfbi · 9 months ago

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2, 15, 30, 32? 💌

2. Two characters you wish would interact more.

HMMMMM..... I think I'm in agreement with everyone that I wish we could see more Eddie and Maddie!

15. Worst take of the show/a character you have seen

Oh gosh........ Mhmmmm...... I guess any form of character bashing? I think people are quick to jump on a morality train when people are flawed and it's really cool that we have a show full of characters who are authentic and flawed and layered. It doesn't make them bad people (until they reach a line of no return obviously I'm looking at you Jonah). But it makes them really nicely developed characters. You don't have to like it but that doesn't mean you should play pretend and make them act in a way that isn't accurate. We can't expect anyone to get better if we're going to condemn them before they even try.

That and the moment we got to explore Eddie's vulnerable side he immediately needed to be the bottom to get any sort of sexual satisfaction to suddenly heal his own inner demons. Buck does not have a magic dick. I cannot.

30. What do you wish you saw more of in fics?

Goooddddddddddd I don't know! I sat on this question for really long time. I remember back when the pandemic first started and I first like got into 911 fanfic that there used to be more whump fics that were just like nice little nuggets of hurt/comfort without it having to be so canon connected? I miss those. Everything now feels very tied into the season and big and they're wonderful! But I miss my little serial stand alone hurt/comfort fics.

32. Persistent fandom complaint that needs to be retired

That Phillip was physically abusive. We've seen literally over and over and over again that he was very much the peacemaker between Margaret and Maddie and Buck. The problem was that he'd already picked a side (Margaret's). But like it does Buck and Maddie's issues and the entire Buckley family trauma such a disservice to just not give Margaret any agency in how badly she treated her children and how, in her own way, she's trying to make up for it. Like don't get me wrong: the Buckley parents can eat glass for all I care. But that doesn't change the fact that they are trying and in particular Margaret is trying. It's not enough! It'll never be enough until she takes accountability. But that's still there.

ALSO this habit as a whole of getting so upset before an episode even airs. Like be disappointed after an episode, sure. But before it even happens? My goodness it makes it so not fun to be around sometimes.

Send Me a 911 Ask

#evan buckley #maddie buckley #buckley siblings #eddie diaz #911 ask game #royal decree #anon

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gordonlore · 1 year ago

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Rebecca Victoria (Roberts) Gordon

November 29th, 1955, in Mobile, Alabama Rebecca, “Becky” Victoria Roberts was born to a Michael and Victoria Roberts. The second born, and the only daughter of the home. She was treated like a little princess and her brothers acted like her own personal knights. Her home life was extremely nuclear and sheltered as her father worked as a Pastor at one of the many Baptist churches in their area. She believed everything her father and mother said about the world. She never doubted their word, because why would she? They were her parents and an authority figure whose job was to look after her. She grew up to have an idealist view on the world around her. Getting amazing grades in school, which fueled her love for school and sparked her journey into becoming a schoolteacher. So, when she graduated high school June 6th, 1973, and decided to pursue her dreams of teaching with a cheering scholarship to the University of Alabama Birmingham to study education. Her parents helped move her out to Birmingham; her grandparents paying for her rent and her father being the one to help her with budgeting. Everything was going to plan, and Rebecca didn’t plan to meet her future husband in a local bar on September 1st, 1975, but she couldn’t say know to the blond hair blue eyed vet who offered to buy her a drink. He was just so charming. She also definitely didn’t expect to pregnant with twins at the start of her senior year of college. God had another plan and Rebecca and Bryan moved in together trying to keep her pregnancy a secret. Rebecca couldn’t afford to lose her grandparents and parents support—so when she started to show more then she could hide she offered to elope with Bryan. Knowing that Bryan didn’t trust marriage—she knew Bryan also didn’t believe in God like she and her family did, and she empathized with why and she couldn’t force that onto him. She however asked Bryan to have a reception for after they sign the papers. So that her family could still have that celebration, even if they were going to be upset with that fact, she was pregnant and wasn’t getting married under God.

Upset didn’t cover it, but not from her grandparents, her parents. Michael and Victoria made it very clear that Rebecca had made a horrible mistake and would have to repent before God before they’d even humor coming to the “so called reception”, they berated her made her feel so small and she was so scared to call her grandparents—her brothers—yet Bryan took it upon himself to call them when Rebecca decided that they would react the same way and maybe even worse. Bryan ended up giving a nervous Rebecca the phone every time he called, sitting there being next to her, supporting her. Her grandparents where extremely supportive after Bryan explained the situation and why they were eloping, and they just wanted their granddaughter to know that they had her back; and that her parents were being cruel and stupid. Her brothers echoed her grandparents’ statement and Rebecca was able to be at ease knowing at least part of her family was going to support her. She was able to relax and when her older brother and his wife came to visit, holding boxes of baby supplies . . . including a crib. The one thing Rebecca and Bryan had been saving up to get. Forest and Janice decided to bring all their baby supplies to Rebecca and Bryan because “it’s not in God’s plan for us to have children.” Rebecca couldn’t have been more thankful for her older brother as she watched him help Bryan set up the crib in their room. She felt weight being lifted from her shoulders and nearly cried. Yet she didn’t because Janice kept her busy showing her all the baby clothes Janice had collected. Going through baby books, the resources she collected in trying and trying to have a baby that wasn’t going to come. Rebecca was more than thankful, and she didn’t know how to thank Janice. Janice asked her to name the boys or one of the boys after her father and grandfather. Janice wanted her father and grandfather to be honored in some way—and she wasn’t going to be able to do so. Weeks later passed by and Rebecca and Bryan eloped, exchanged their rings in front of the Holms and Rebecca’s family at their reception. Rebecca’s parents even bothered to show. Not wasting any time to reiterate that Rebecca and Bryan acted out of the will of God. Yet luckily for Rebecca her grandmother shut them both up quick. Emmett who came with Michael and Wilma, used their grandparents getting onto their parents to let Rebecca know he doesn’t believe a word they said. Letting Rebecca know that he is and will always be in her corner. Rebecca hadn’t felt more loved in that moment by her brother and grandparents.

January 8th, 1977, at 11:38 pm, came along and Rebecca and Bryan needed to name their twin boys, they named them, Jeremy David and Markus Ryan Gordon. Jeremy and Ryan for Jeremiah Ryan Holms and Markus and David for Janice’s grandfather and father. Rebecca ended up needing to have an emergency c-section as things quickly started to complicate with the birthing process. Rebecca was in recovery for two months. During those two months Rebecca’s self-worth plummeted as her mother came to help her and Bryan with the twins as Bryan picked up extra shifts and hours at his place of work to compensate for the time off that Rebecca had to take to recover. She wasn’t producing enough breast milk for both her sons and her mother was clear to point out how she was failing every time she had to use formula to feed her grandchildren. Rebecca started to feel like a failure as a mother and a wife the more her mother nagged in her ears. Bryan was never aware of how badly Rebecca’s mother was getting to her. He always got home late at night, but on one of his days off when Rebecca was no longer on bed rest and she was fixing up two bottles for Jeremy and Markus, he watched how Rebecca’s lips pierced together and her hands shook. Rebecca flinched as her mother said her usual tripe of how much of a failure she was. Bryan kicked Wilma out of his house that day. He took his son from Wilma’s arms and told her to leave. He quickly made Rebecca look at him. Hand to her cheek, speaking to her softly saying she wasn’t a failure and doing everything to keep her children fed. Bryan was so gentle towards her that she was able to calm down and slowly build up her confidence. Mrs. Holms only further built it up as Bryan called her to replace Wilma in their home. Mrs. Holms was quick to tell Rebecca how well she was doing, and Rebecca held onto Bryan’s praises like they were a life force for her. She built back her confidence and Bryan wasn’t slow in showing her how proud of her he was. Mrs. Holms was more than willing to watch the boys as Bryan took Rebecca out to have a night away from work and watch their boys.

March 2nd, 1980, Rebecca and Bryan’s family grow from four to five and Jeremy and Markus become big brothers. Robert Michael Gordon was brought into the world with zero complications, and named for Rebecca’s father and grandfather with hopes that her father and mother would talk with her again. She missed her parents and brother. She wanted nothing but to have her family in her life. Her parents did very little to keep communication between Rebecca and them. Rebecca pulled all the wait. That year was also the same year that Bryan was accepted into Rebecca’s high school’s Exy coach, until another more qualified individual would take over—Rebecca was excited that her husband would be working with her, and all her colleagues raved about how cute they were when they came in with their boys. The twin toddlers being the rave of the child development classes and Markus being a quiet hit with the pre-school attendant. Yet that didn’t stop Rebecca growing concerned and worried as she noticed that Bryan pulled back and was starting to become rather harsh towards her. Snapping at her more often. Giving her the cold shoulder. Nothing seemed to change that. Yet their new routine did help create a steady and safe feeling environment. Nothing would go wrong as long as they stayed like this, and Bryan started to look into quitting his second job at the hardware store. That was until Rebecca informed him that they would be expecting a sixth mouth to feed.

April 21st, 1982, Bryan Seth Gordon jr. is born. Named for Bryan as they both shared a birthday and there was no denying that Seth was Bryan’s son. All of their kids shared a resemblance with Bryan, but Seth was almost an exact copy of Bryan and that made Bryan soften a hard shell he had started to develop as troubles with money started to become an issue once more. Both Rebecca and Bryan having to work second jobs and rely on the Holms often. Rebecca and Bryan both ran the candle stick at both ends and they didn’t talk to each other more than in passing. Rebecca rarely even got to tuck Jeremy, Markus, Robert, and Seth into bed as she arrived home by the time, they were all sleeping. Bryan arrived even later but was always up before Rebecca’s alarm went off to get the boys ready and dressed before they all headed to the high school. Their routine was chaos and Rebecca and Bryan’s relationship started to wear thin. Rebecca couldn’t get Bryan to talk with her if they had days off together without it ending in Bryan frustratingly telling Rebecca that he needs some time to herself. She couldn’t talk to her husband and the father of her kids without him getting frustrated and annoyed. The only time Rebecca found Bryan happy was when he was alone with Seth. Just holding him. Talking to him about his day or some new rule changes at either of his jobs. Rebecca wanted Bryan to talk to her about those things. She wanted to have the man who she had fallen for back in her life. She felt lost, so when Bryan expressed wanting some time alone together, she was more than thankful. Worried, he’d started to regret ever being with her. She relished every moment alone that Bryan gave her.

August 8th, 1984 comes around and Rebecca, seven months pregnant, gets a call from her brother Forest letting her know that their mother, father, and little brother died in a plane crash on their way to a college visit for Emmett. Rebecca fell into a deep despair. The last conversation she had with her father was her calling a phone telling her mother and father that Seth had been born and her father just expressed disappointment that he was named after Bryan. Rebecca lost herself as she delt with the news. While every communication fell off between her and her family, she still desperately wanted her parents to love her like they had in the past. She wanted her momma to tell her how she was always going to be her baby and for her daddy to tell her how much he loved her. All of that was gone for good. Rebecca went on survival mode. She went to work, cleaned the house, went to her doctors’ appointments, and took care of the other boys all while giving minimal attention to Bryan. Rebecca’s grief ate at her for so long that when October 23rd of that year came around and Rebecca and Bryan welcomed their fifth son, Emmett Tyler, into the world she couldn’t connect with Emmett at all. Rebecca experienced “baby blues” to an extreme degree. She again went into survival mode. Bryan ended up being the one who took care of Emmett for the most part. Rebecca’s change in attitude and work ethic has caused her to be under scrutiny by her boss. Rebecca just isn’t bringing her all and it’s causing her work to suffer. One morning as she was getting ready for work, she caught a glimpse of herself in a mirror. She broke down crying. She looked like her momma. She looked so much like her momma, and she couldn’t handle it. She sat down on the bed crying, trying to calm down as she knew Bryan was waking up and taking care of all the boys. Yet as she was struggling to calm down, she was met with an angry and vindictive Bryan. Sat at the edge of her bed, getting close to hyper ventilating, she was struck across the face by her husband. She blinked, looked up at him and saw the anger and resentment plastered on his face as he went in on her and criticized her for how she’d been acting over the last months. When Bryan left the room Rebecca sat with a hand to where Bryan had hit her. She took a deep breath in and buried down the wave of emotions that threatened to come to the surface. She fixed herself up once more and put on a mask to appease her boss and Bryan. Rebecca and Bryan’s relationship became extremely strained after this point. They fought often and when they were not fighting the two were drunk, which led them to make decisions that neither of them would make sober.

December 20th 1986, the day Forest Victor Gordon was born and the Gordons went from seven to eight and marked the last happy birth and holiday within the Gordon household. It was quiet before the storm. Rebecca dropped her guard as she watched Bryan on again play with Jeremy(8), Markus(8), Robert(6), and trying his hardest to keep Seth(4) included. She was watching the man she fell for once again. Not the man who hit her and berated her. Yet it wasn’t all happy and nice. Janice and Forest were visiting. Janice had every problem with everything that Rebecca and Bryan were doing to run their household. Criticizing how Rebecca and Bryan let their young boys to be rambunctious and active and run around their small home. Rebecca could tell that Bryan’s patience was running thin. She could see the anger building in his eyes, and it caused her to have a growing fear. And to have a growing stress. Bryan finally snapped at Janice. His anger bubbling up over. Rebecca felt an intense fear as she slipped away into the kitchen. She tried to stay calm as she listened to her husband just yell at the top of his lungs at her sister in-law, and as soon as she got the courage to go out and try to deescalate the situation her water broke. Which worked well to deescalate the situation at hand as Bryan was snapped out of his tirade to get his wife to the hospital. Forest Victor Gordon wasn’t an abnormal birth. No, he was completely healthy, and he took after her more so than any of her other sons. Rebecca and Bryan took Forest home from the hospital just five days later and the only thing that could have made it better was for it to snow.

That Christmas was the last happy Christmas and the last time Rebecca saw her brother and sister in-law outside of letters and a phone call here and there. Rebecca was completely secluded from her family. Bryan was growing more and more miserable. Going out at night and not coming back till the next morning. Snapping at their sons when they asked the smallest questions. Rebecca was powerless as she watched Bryan shoot down Jeremy, David, Robert, or even Bryan Jr. tries to get his attention for anything. She was powerless as she watched Bryan completely ignore Emmett and Forest. His breath constantly smelled of stale beer and Rebecca felt guilty for enjoying spending most nights alone in their bed. Rebecca felt guilty for resenting the nights Bryan didn’t go out. Yet she still ended up being convinced to get drunk with Bryan and to spend a long night together with him. Rebecca didn’t think anything would come up from that night. It was only one. Nothing could come up from it. She saw how angry Bryan got at each bill that came through their door. Nothing could come up from that night. It would just make Bryan angry. And yet, something did come from that night. Just two months after that night Rebecca got clued in that something might have happened. Rebecca went to the doctors under the guise of running errands. She had to take her younger boys with her as they couldn’t be relied on to stay quiet. That appointment confirmed her suspicion, and it was a good thing that neither Emmett nor Forest could really understand nor care what was being discussed. Rebecca went on a quick grocery run knowing where everything was and coming up with a story that she just wanted to keep the house quiet for Bryan if he asked why it took so long. It took almost a month for Rebecca to come up with courage to tell Bryan there was going to be a seventh child in their family. It didn’t go well. Rebecca was talking to him in the kitchen, one of the rare, pleasant conversations that reminded her on why she fell for him. It made her feel safe and like he’d react well to the news. He didn’t. Bryan’s reaction was to take a plate and to throw it near Rebecca yelling at her. To protect her boys, she locked the back door to keep them outside till Bryan locked himself in their room or left to go drink. He left to go drink.

The situation didn’t get better. It got worse. Jeremy and Markus becoming the target of Bryan’s anger. Rebecca couldn’t stand that. She wasn’t going to allow Bryan to needlessly be cruel to her sons. Not when they did nothing wrong. Not when Bryan was angry with her. Rebecca enrolled Jeremy, Markus, Robert, and Seth into a small league Exy extracurricular so that they were out of the house. Rebecca made sure that Emmett and Forest were in her sight 24/7 and never alone with Bryan. She didn’t want his anger to be taken out on them. July 21st, 1988, Jackson Cole Gordon was born. It was early in the morning or late into the night, depending on how you looked at it. Rebecca gave birth to Jackson alone, immediately seeing that he took after Bryan almost as much as Bryan jr. did. Rebecca held off from naming him till Bryan came with the rest of the boys. Bryan barely looked at the baby in Rebecca’s arms before he told her he didn’t care and walked out to go smoke. Rebecca wanted to cry but held off as Jeremy and David, just 10 years old, walked over to look at the baby. Rebecca turned her attention to them and watched as the other boys, besides Forest who had been placed on the bed with her, crowded around her to see their brother. Rebecca named him Jackson Cole for no other reason than she liked how it sounded.

For that first year it was hell for Rebecca. She was struggling to keep up with watching all the young boys, take care of Jackson’s needs, make sure the younger two were being taken care of, etc. And then it got worse when on November 9th, 1989, Bryan gave Rebecca divorce papers. He gave her an ultimatum that she would sign the papers now or Bryan would just disappear and leave. Rebecca knew she couldn’t do this without anything from Bryan, so she signed the papers. Her parents’ voices ringing in her head calling her a failure for not making her marriage work. Going against God. She felt like a failure, and it only increased when she and Bryan finalized the divorce on April 30th, 1990, and the only form of communication Rebecca had with Bryan was the child support check that was sent every month. Rebecca went from having two jobs to three. Dipping into the attempt of a college fund for her sons to make ends meet with the jobs. Rebecca ended up having to give Jeremy and Markus more responsibility than they should have had once their dad had left them. Only seeing them for minutes at a time as she dropped them off at the house telling her to pretend no one was home if anyone knocked, telling them how to use a stove top to feed everyone. Given them instructions on how to care for Forest and Jackson. Jackson more so because he was still just two years old. Rebecca for the first time in her life completely resented her life choices and the choices that got here. She ended up getting angry and she hated being angry. She started to smoke and drink more often. As the boys all were in the school age (1993) Rebecca paid for all of them to be in the Exy little league. Until she found out that Markus, Robert, Emmett, and Forest skipped the practices and stayed at home. She wasn’t angry for long. In fact, finding out she didn’t need to pay for all her sons made her relieved. And she was more the grateful that the two carbon copies of the man who left her were out of the house during the time she had off if she had time off.

As Bryan Jr. and Jackson grew up looking more and more like their father the more Rebecca started to resent them for it. Rebecca was colder with them, confusing them both, Jackson especially. Bryan started to go by Seth by the time he turned 14 (1996) and Rebecca was more than happy to no longer have to say the name of her ex-husband. That was the year that Jeremy got a full ride scholarship to the University of Alabama for his academics and Markus was offered a scholarship for his aesthetic skills in football for the University of Georgia. Rebecca watched as Jeremy was able to coordinate his living situation to stay at home and to help her with all the kids and for him to get a job to help around. And then in the same breath for her other eldest son to pack up his things and ship of to Georgia and never come back home. She felt betrayed as much as she felt proud. She didn’t end up stopping what she was doing as she ended up needing the extra money for personal effects. She rarely held a conversation with any of her sons. Less so Seth and Jackson. She didn’t see the need to when she saw Jeremy taking care of them. And she needed to sleep. She ended up changing her kids’ emergency contact to Jeremy and she wasn’t the first one told when Robert was caught smoking marijuana at school (1998). Instead, she was confronted by Jeremy who had to pick up Robert who was suspended. Rebecca stared at them both and looked at Robert telling him to get a job so he could stay out of trouble. That caused Robert to snap at her and he yelled at her. Telling her how all he wanted was for his mom to act like a mom and how he was glad that as soon as the year was over Markus was coming to get him. Rebecca snapped. All the resentment and anger she had been feeling for years straight coming up in one fell swoop. She couldn’t believe how much like his father Robert was. And she made sure she let Robert know. She relished it as she saw the look on Robert’s face twist from anger to a deep hurt. She didn’t care that she hurt him. He deserved it for planning on leaving them all. Jeremy tried to call her out on it but she closed her bedroom door before he could even get a word out.

Rebecca after that point didn’t have any idea what her sons were into until it was too late. It was a 1999 October evening; Rebecca was working the night shift at a local restaurant when she found Jeremy blowing up her phone. She grits her teeth as she explained to her boss, she needed to call her son back. When she calls Jeremy back, he immediately answers frantically explaining how Seth was found unconscious in an alleyway blocked from their house. How he had overdosed on something. Jeremy was talking to frantically and it sounded like he was crying but all she got out of the call was that she needed to come down to the hospital and loose hours of pay. She was not happy. As she listened to the doctors, she found out her son had overdosed on Heroin and was “thankfully doing well”. Rebecca wanted nothing to do with Seth at this point. Yet she couldn’t say that to the doctors. So, she just looked over at Jeremy who looked ashamed but not for Seth but for himself. She told the doctors to differ to Jeremy. She had to go back to work to keep the lights, water, and just everything running at home. Jeremey tried to protest her leaving but she told him she trusted him and left. She wouldn’t find out what had happened till she walked in on Jeremy and Seth talking with each other at the kitchen table. Seth looked like he had been crying, and Jeremy had a prescription in his hand. Jeremy took Seth to a shrink. One of her sons was seeing a shrink. She could hardly believe it and walked out and moved onto leaving for work.

Everything was uneventful from that point. All her sons at one point left for college except her youngest who looked like his father and was in his last years of high school. At this point Jeremy had left this house behind and moved into the more high-class part of Birmingham as he got a job promotion. Rebecca was left with the son that was the last straw for her son to leave. And she made that known for Jackson. When She found Jackson hanging out with his friend “Matthew” and catching them as they kissed, she completely lost it on him. But not before telling Matthew to leave and that he wasn’t welcome in her house. She went on a completely homophobic rant at Jackson telling him he wasn’t to bring Matthew to her house or to speak with Matthew at all. She would have gotten away with it too if Jackson hadn’t told Seth what had happened when he was away. Seth picked his first fight with his mother. He completely lost it on her yelling at her that she must be so deranged to think she had any say over his life when she made it clear that she didn’t want anything to do with any of them. They looked too much like dad. He told her if he found out that she continued to speak to Jackson like that he’d make her life a living hell. Then the summer of 2006 started. Rebecca came from work, and she immediately went to go lie down in her bedroom. Take in the quiet that was soon to end knowing that Seth would be coming to interrupt her life. She hadn’t thought anything was a miss and fell asleep.

Then she was woken by sirens outside and as she annoyingly came out of her bedroom and walked past the only other occupied room in the house Rebecca froze as she saw Seth holding onto Jackson. Her heart stopped for a moment and before she could fully understand what was going on a pounding came against her door and Rebecca went to answer it. She felt numb as she pointed the EMS to where her sons were. She watched as they took Jackson away and Rebecca just motioned for them to let Seth take Jackson away. She couldn’t go with them. Not when she resented them both from the moment Bryan was truly gone forever. She didn’t go to see Jackson in the hospital after the fact either. When Seth came with Dr. Nattalee Monroe-Wilson to collect Jackson’s things Rebecca didn’t argue. She knew that met she wouldn’t be seeing Jackson and Seth around anymore. Rebecca was alone. Completely alone.

This would have marked the end of Rebecca’s story line if suddenly she hadn’t seen her ex-husband’s name plastered on the TV at the sport bar she worked at and saw her sons face staring at her. Seth Gordon, Palmetto Starting Striker, dead at 25, overdose. If Rebecca could have felt anything she would have stormed out of there. But she had drinks to sell, and it wasn’t like he was going to amount to anything anyways. He was just like his father. She was called in to collect his ashes. She wasn’t driving all the way to South Carolina to pick up the ashes of the embarrassment they called her son. She stopped answering calls from that number. She stopped being her son’s mother.

Bryan Seth Gordon Senior Jeremy David Gordon Markus Ryan Gordon Robert Michael Gordon Bryan Seth Gordon Jr. Emmett Tyler Gordon Forest Victor Gordon Jackson Cole Gordon Matthew Brice Wilson Ophellia Eurydice Wilson-Gordon Dion Lysander Wilson-Gordon Orion Othello Wilson-Gordon

#all for the game #aftg #the foxhole court #tfc #rebecca victoria gordon #bryan seth gordon #seth gordon #the six brothers of seth gordon #the gordon family history #all for the game fanfic #all for the game headcannons #mostly cannon compliant #cross posted on ao3

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stories-by-starlight · 7 months ago

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We another (Black + Hispanic, visible POC) autistic of color! Agree with Zeb, Zeb make a lot of good points. Don’t think anything about being POC makes actual autism condition change, but does change experiences and expectations and things so might present different, like Zeb said.

We (“We” as in our system, not speak for all autistics of color here) experience a lot of racism, especially in early childhood and it really did change lot about how viewed/view self and world and how supposed to be.

We could never mask much, so can’t say how it affect masking specific. Our autism traits were dismiss as us be “defiant/uncooperative/aggressive”, so we just tried stay out of everyone’s way as much as could, make selves disappear as much as possible. When people hurt us, we didn’t tell anyone or even recognize it as bad thing at times, become so used to it that felt normal and expected. We had no boundaries, as trying defend or protect ourselves always led our punishment, or worse, was seen as fault of our whole family.

Think that really big thing that not seen too much in conversations about this type of thing. The feeling that you AND your family’s wellbeing is constant at risk. Caused us lot of guilt and stress, for even very little things all children do.

Children of color often treated like they not actual children, that choose to act out or be upset or be scared on purpose to cause problems or hurt people. Autism make this problem much bigger, since will usual have more big emotions with less control over them. It’s really scary.

Sorry, that maybe bit ramble. Hope all made sense.

does being POC actually affect how you present autism or is it just because of societal expectations?

Hi! So please take what I’m saying with a grain of salt and talk to other POC autistics! I am a white presenting autistic person. I do not experience the same as them and am just saying what I have heard from POC autistics and ND people.

Overall, it’s both? Black autistics and POC autistics are notorious for masking more due to the danger of them not masking. It is DANGEROUS for them not to mask. This is the same with a lot of POC autistics. Race is a complicated topic, and I recommend talking to POC autistics because they are MUCH well versed in this.

The societal expectations for POC is drastically different from white people. This needs to be talked about. Low masking POC autistics are 100% more prone to violence, violence against the police, etc etc. POC are automatically seen as “dangerous” so if a POC were to have a meltdown in public, or even stim, or even just get slightly distressed, then the chances of the police being called on them is drastically more likely then if a white person was doing the same.

POC autistics, especially black autistics, are held up so high on how they should act in public. From being told they shouldn’t dress a certain way, to they shouldn’t talk or act a certain way. I run into this all the time with my little sister who is black. Her experiences as a ADHD and learning disabled (dyslexia, dysgraphia, etc), is drastically different then mine.

POC autistics and ND, should be talked about more, and their experiences should be talked about more. Please, if you’re a POC autistic or ND in general, then I encourage to reblog this post with your experiences.

I hope you have a lovely day anon and this answers your question!

#autism #racism #cw racism #finally!! finally finish this #took so long but yay finished #was little extra hard because we also visible autistic so sometimes hard to separate what caused what #we also spent parts of childhood in very racist areas #so some parts might not be too relatable to those who grew up in less racist places we don’t know #hope all made sense anyway and that we not make anyone feel bad either

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j0kers-light · 1 year ago

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How do you think Joker would deal with menstruation? Or if reader had a long delay and they both thought she was pregnant 😂 (but then it turned out to be a false alarm)

Hey hi anon!! 🖤✨

I couldn't help myself and jumped out of line of ask requests! I woke up from a nap with the perfect idea for this so here we go! I hope you enjoy anon!

It is common knowledge that Joker does not use condoms. The tried and true saying, 'wrap it before you tap is' does not apply to him, mkay?

This man does not care. Its risky, its dangerous, and its incredibly hot to slide into you with nothing in the way.

That friction of skin between skin just scratches an itch of intimacy that Joker never knew he needed. Now he knows why condoms are so expensive. Its a clear indicator not to use them!

Joker knows you secretly enjoy it too or you would have put an end to raw sex from the beginning.

Joker does not take into consideration if you're taking any birth contraceptive measures [thats your choice as the reader] he's got bigger things to worry about, but there was always a twinge of hesitation in his mind.

What if you get pregnant?

Joker is NOT father material despite the countless nannies and other random people from your apartment building that compliment his DILF status and skills every time you babysit your neighbor's kid.

Joker is not one for children, but he sorta kinda likes Gio. The little tyke's got spunk and he's so well mannered and you look ethereal whenever you hold Gio and the sunlight hits you a certain—

Okay. Fine! So Joker has toyed with the idea!

He let his mind wander once or twice but it doesn't mean he's actively tryna knock you up! He is not about that life. Gotham City has to burn first and there's too much fun to cause to be weighted down with a child.

Nothing is for certain but Joker knows. He knows you can and will be a great mother just... not with his kid.

Joker is fully aware of your 'time of the month.' You're more moodier than usual and you always desert him in the guest bedroom for the comfort of your private room.

You don't come out except to eat and you take said meals in your sanctuary. He hates the one week of the month where his Light is not around.

He does not like when you shut him out and hide in your shell but you grumble 'hormones' or 'leave me lone, J' and waddle back to safety.

Joker wants nothing more to cuddle up with you and rub your cramps away or hand feed you all the weird snacks you crave while your buried under the blankets, but you won't let him near you!

Why won't you let him spoil you?

Contrary to popular belief, Joker is smart and very detail driven. He keeps up with your mensural cycle because he needs to know when his Light will be out of commission.

He needs to know when to stay out of your way and when to keep your favorite snacks stocked in the penthouse. Since you won't let him near you, he'll keep you satisfied with acts of service.

A happy Bunny, is a happy Joker.

So..... he's a lit-tle confused when your expected start date rolls around and you're still well, normal.

You haven't snapped at him once or asked for some ridiculous food pairing that should not go together.

You're still the bunny that he fell ten times over for. And when nothing happens for three days in a row.. Joker silently panics.

Its day five without any bleeding and Joker is a nervous wreck. You noticed a slight change in his behavior recently but with your upset stomach, you haven't given him any more attention.

You've been nauseous since the beginning of the week and no ginger ale, saltine crackers, or other home remedies that Sarai texted you to try have worked. If you don't feel any better in the morning, you're going to the ER and she better be on-call.

You were at your wits end trying to treat this weird stomach bug when she sends another message that makes your heart drop to the floor.

When's ur last period ever think bout that?

You drop your phone and spiral down a rabbit hole. When was your last period? Shouldn’t you be due for one soon? You snap out of your thoughts and open your period tracker and groan aloud when you notice you're five days late.

"Oh no. Oh nope nope nopeity nope." You look around the room like it miraculously held the answers to your dilemna. You've never been late a day in your life and right on time, your imaginary angel appeared on your shoulder.

"You and J do go at like rabbits..." She grimaced.

On your other shoulder your brash devil appeared. She was in rare form with a wide grin, stretching from ear to ear.

"And we be taking them loads straight to the womb! I bet you’re regretting not wrapping that sausage every time huh you cum whore? Haha! Pregnant with a psychopath's baby! That's wild! Couldn’t be me tho!”

She doubled over laughing and your angel shot her a glare. "It isn’t funny. This affects you too! Y/n, ignore her. CVS is on the corner babe. Aisle nine, lets go."

You nodded to yourself and grabbed your phone and keys, headed to the door but Joker came out of nowhere and blocked your way.

He took in your frazzled appearance. Your hands were shaking and you failed to care that you were only wearing yoga pants and one of his hoodies.

"Where ya going, pretty girl?"

His hands touched yours and discreetly took your keys from you. And you're so out of it, you hardly noticed.

"I uh, there's um.."

"Use your words, Y/n." Joker urged you.

You breathed in and out before meeting his curious eyes.

He's ever your rock; calm and ready to tackle any situation you throw at him. Would he handle this one if you told him the truth?

This would ruin all of his plans. You were supposed to be a temporary stop in his jorney called life. You would be a liability if you came out and said, 'oh hey Joker! I'm late!'

"LaTe for what?"

You blinked rapidly. Did you say that aloud?!! Joker arched an eyebrow and waited for you to answer him. Your mouth flopped like a fish.

Thank the heavens that Joker is so patient with you. He rolled his eyes and guided you into the powder room off of the foyer.

From there, he picked you up and sat you down on the counter. He stood between your legs, gently rubbing your legs.

"Talk to me, bunny. What's stuck in that uhh.. pretty lit-tle head of yours, hmm? You can tell meeeeeee."

You burst into tears and Joker froze like a statue. Those tears of yours were his kryptonite.

"I'm late! I haven't had my period yet!"

Joker clicked his tongue and set to work wiping your tears away. He was a little rough while doing it but the motion helped calm you down. Joker was still rusty with being affectionate and you smiled at his sweet gesture.

"I know."

You glanced up at him, "Whah?"

Joker repeated himself and leaned forward on his palms near your hips. "You're uhh, five, days late, doll. I need ya to do me a favor. Can ya do that?" He waited until you stopped sniffing.

Your nod was his clue to continue.

He pushed three bottles of water next to you. You stared down at them and the ominous brown paper bag on the counter. You just now noticed it.

"I need you to drink these and then... take these."

Joker knew you would freak out when he dumped the bag over to reveal the pregnancy tests he made Mac buy this morning. Joker was tired of waiting. If this was happening, he'd be the first to know before getting Sarai involved with a final medical confirmation.

You started hyperventailing until Joker grabbed your face with his hands. "Bunny... bunny... hey. Look at me. There she is. Breathe. Drink n' we'll take them to-get-ther."

"Y-You promise?" You hiccuped.

He hated seeing the fear clouding your coloured eyes. You clung to his wrist, looking up at him as if he had all the answers.

It was obvious that your were overwhelmed and scared. Joker would have to push aside his own jitters and be the stronger person here. He exhaled with a marred smile.

"I prooomise Sweetheart. Now! Drink up for me."

Joker offered you the first water bottle and you took it with the hopes this would all be false alarm.

You were pacing in the foyer with Joker seated nearby. Even with every sharp turn you made, his eyes never strayed from you.

You were a ball of nerves and he hated that you were biting your poor nails to the quick.

He was about to tell you to stop when the timer in the bathroom went off. You stared at the doorway as if it were radioactive. One of your favorite songs continued to play as the timer yet you resumed your pacing.

Joker called out your name to no reply. You were looping back around to past by him and he grabbed your arm. "Light, its time to check."

You shook your head. "I-I-I can't... you're gonna hate me and... and leave.. I just!" You yelped when Joker jerked you into his arms. He sighed into your untamed curls and squeezed you close.

He was too calm during all of this. How was he so calm?!

It was really bothering you until your head rested on his chest and you got to feel his heart beating erratically. Joker was nervous too but he didn't show it and that made you tear up even more.

He was bottling his emotions to be a shoulder for you to lean on.

It made no sense just how caring Joker was to you. He was a changed man indeed.

Joker tipped your head up with his finger. "You want me to check for ya?" He chuckled at your furious nod. Of course you did, why did he even ask? "M'aright, lemme go, doll. Them nails are killin' me."

You mumbled out an apology and let J go. He walked into the bathroom and closed the door. He sighed and glanced at the four pregnancy test lined up on the counter. Leave it to his doll to be neat even while under duress.

He didn't want to do this but you didn't have the courage to. So Joker was left to face one of his worst fears all alone.

There wasn't a proper procedure to these things so he just snagged the first one he could get ahold of and eyed the screen.

A bucket of ice was dumped over his head.

Positive.

Two blue lines held so much power. His ears were ringing and he barely heard your frantic knocking on the door.

"Um Joker? Y-You're too quiet. I-I’m coming in." You opened the door and took one look at a frozen Joker holding a pregnancy test and feared the worst.

Judging by his schooled features, you already knew the results but you had to see for yourself. You picked up the other three tests on the counter but did a double take.

"What? They’re negative. Oh my God. They’re negative! J, I'm not--" You turned to show Joker but he had already shook himself out of his daze and snatched the tests from your hands.

Joker's warped mind was playing tricks on him. It had to be. Because these tests were negative. He conferred with the one in his hand but it remained that life altering, positive.

Joker was conflicted and his green eyes darted up at you. Your smile faded seeing his intense emeralds, "J, what's wrong?"

"Thisssss one is positive. I'm calling the doc." He threw them all into the wastebin and was about to leave when you stepped in his path.

"Joker, wait! Three out of four, I think its safe to agree with the majority here." You were feeling back to normal now your pregnacy scare was past you but Joker was still fighting his delusions.

"I wanna be sure, Light. I'm not trusting a uhh drugstore test with somethin' like this." He rested his forehead against yours and you could feel his hands shaking as they cupped your face.

This was really getting to him. You peered through your lashes at J. He wouldn't let this go until he knew for sure from a professional. You covered his hands with your own. It was your turn to be strong and be there for Joker.

You kissed him softy and he chased after you when you broke away. "Okay, J, you can call Sarai."

He sighed and tugged you closer for the time being. You didn't know who needed this hug the most; you or Joker.

Your eyes naturally fell to the wastebin where the tests lay, mocking you and J.

There was a palpable change in the air. This interaction changed the future for you and J. In the heat of the moment, neither of you considered protection. It was scary to think this could have ended very differently. You were sighing in relief but Joker was at odds with the outcome. Even with his fears put to rest, a small part of him wanted all four tests to be positive.

Simply because it would be a journey to experience with you.

#pregnancy scare #what if #chaos is stirring up chaos #thanks anon!#thanks for the ask!#ledger joker x reader #joker x reader #ledger joker #joker #heath joker #reader insert #joker x y/n #swf headcanon #joker x you #joker x black!reader #heath ledger joker x reader #heath ledger!joker #ledger!joker #false alarm

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