#so they dont take it seriously. its their job they kill people every other week

[emmetofthestars]

i was thinking about how it would go if blu had to execute someone or something. achilles would always hope the targets pick sword over gun

[br1ghtestlight]

love how bob seems to be completely out of it for this entire episode. like gene and tina are barely following along with linda and louise's insane reverse psychology game but bob is GONE like he's not present at the dinner table he isnt even part of the family. he just grumbles when linda tells him to but he isn't saying shit 😭😭

TINA AND GENE ARE SO SILLY IN THIS EPISODE LMAOO head empty zero thoughts. they are nothing more than pawns in louise's game

bob is correct for wanting to bribe them with candy that would literally work. like they are simple people

WHAT IF THEY TURN INTO LITTLE DELINQUENTS WHO DONT LISTEN TO AUTHORITY??? linda do you know who your kids are they are already WELL past that point especially louise. kinda funny that linda in this episode has the exact opposite viewpoint to how she was w/ louise in amelia. not a criticism of the episode its just ironic

BLACKMAIL

ARE YOU GONNA KILL US LMFAO

gene is SO BABY in this scene im gonna need to take screenshots later bcuz he is the smallest boy. in the world or maybe ever

back when we were children?? says the nine year old child

love how this episode is told through a bedtime story its very creative formatting and kinda unique feeling compared to the three story type of episode :)

MR FISCHOEDER APPEARANCE thank god we always need more fischoeder in our lives. i was worried we would have to wait weeks or even months to see him again

love big g. is that perhaps Grandma or Gloria

ZEKE AND JIMMY JR this is the big win for people who like seeing secondary characters. this episode already has more of them than like the Entirety of season 13 zeke and gene are so cute. their friendship is everything

THEY SEEM NICE TO ME AND LOVING I WANNA SAY AND WISE LIKE THEYVE GOT ALL THIS WISDOM TO PASS ON ABOUT LIFE AND THE WORLD 😭😭😭 lmao zeke saying that bob and linda are loving and kind is kinda sweet even though i know its technically bob and linda saying that about themselves. i do think zeke has a positive view of bob and linda Tbh

YOU GUYS SEEM LIKE YOU WORK SO HARD ALL THE TIME AND YOURE DELIGHTFUL........

new jimmy jr lore: he has a small bladder?

BOB AND LINDA GIVING EACH OTHER PIGGYBACK RIDES <3 so cute

rudy AND jessica spotted

AAWWWW ITS OUR JOB TO PROTECT YOU they love their kids so much :(

MARSHMALLOW APPEARANCE WTF??? new voice actor too :D i thought if she was gonna be in any episode it would be the bachlorette episode but its kinda funny she's just randomly in a western. its where she belongs

wait did i die?? no you were just being dramatic :/

I DONT KNOW WHY I THOUGHY MR FISCHOEDER WAS GONNA SERIOUSLY SUGGEST TO USE REAL BULLETS mf just shoots a bunch of kids. i mean he would do that honestly

AWW BOB SPECIAL INTEREST MOMENT he likes cooking ^_^

everything i do i do it for you 😭😭💕

LINDA ACTUALLY CRYING THIS IS GONNA BREAK MY HEART wtf i wasn't expecting this episode to actually get sad. what the hell </3 louise making her mom cry.....

"even though its really cool for moms to get angry and frustrated and cry in front of their kids"

this is weirdly reminding me of mother daughter lazor razor?? linda saying that she wished louise liked her and then louise saying wait you think i dont like you. their relationship is so weird and complicated but louise DOES love and respect linda and thinks she's really cool and fun!!! i wont hear otherwise idc

ONE OF OUR CHORES WAS TO LIGHT GRANDPAS CIGARS LIKE IN OUR MOUTHS??? LMAO WHAT THE FUCK LINDA why is this getting like weirdly serious is every episode gonna be like this now. are they just a little bit traumatic to watch every single time (also john roberts did A GREAT job voicing in this episode especially this ending scene)

MOSTLY BECAUSE OF TINA RIGHT AND GENE why did i literally start laughing loudly when she said that. god i love louise so much

aww they're babies <3 their relationship is the sweetest. you'll the toughest little cutie in prison

LIKE I SAID CANDY WAS LITERALLY THE SOLUTION those kids will do anything for some candy we all know this. we've seen the show before

gene its not even a question you WILL play coachella someday baby boy. you could probably do anything you wanted

GLORIA APPEARANCE i mean i dont like her but its been a few seasons since she was around. hello gloria is al dead

wait why does gloria have big ass badonkadonks..what who said that

aww the babies all asleep <3 little sweethearts

THIS EPISODE WAS SO FUN AND CUTE??? like genuinely a great episode that was heartfelt AND funny and had a really interesting story element to it as well. louise and linda episodes are always great and i love linda talking about how hard it is to raise good people and how much pressure is on them (and it makes sense that she would be more stressed about making them do chores vs bob because it was her mom who was pressuring her. big bob doesnt give a FUCK) a very fun start to hopefully a great season!!!!

[cody-apexart]

Day 10

So i talked to my therapist and another Vietnamese person at the cultural meet up a couple days ago about the abortion horror movie-- they havn't seen it, but it sounds like its less about the topic of abortion and more about the Vietnamese culture and different religious view points around death, killing things, and karma. interesting ! anyway, I cried in therapy and then bought myself some yanyans and soju on the walk home. so fun to get a lil treat! like i felt good when i left, did some good thought exercises, or visualization therapy, whatever you wanna call it, but as i walked through the privately owned waterfront development that I had watched the sunset in the night before, back across the bridge to my side of the canal I was rly like 'holy shit fuck this world.' In NY i work in the building associated with Domino Park in Williamsburg, part of my salary is funded directly by the developers. This is a job I wouldn't be able to have in my own neighborhood, because if i was taking payment from the developers causing displacement in my own neighborhood, i think a lot of the people i advocate and organize with would stop fucking with me or taking me seriously. I feel pretty bad about it, like why is it okay I work a job in Williamsburg, where i dont live, that I would never work in my hometown of Flushing? That is to say that making me go to therapy in the private waterfront mega development is like a cruel joke. like, the first thing i clocked when I came here was these six huge towers on the other side of the canal, and now u send me to cry about my feelings there?? maybe i'm a little too sensitive to the impacts of luxury waterfront development, because as you may be able to tell, advocacy around displacement and waterfront development actually consumes all my free time. also btw, the therapist confirmed the waterfront access is privately owned, as I assumed. Every time i cross over the canal it takes all my energy to not climb down this ladder under the bridge. I need to keep reminding myself i am a stranger in a strange land and should probs not trespass. but if i were in my own neighborhood, i wouldn't think twice.

the motorbike food tour tonight was fun. in my art practice i give a lot of tours, but always forget i'm a tour guide, until i tell someone about what I do and they're like "so you're a tour guide?" Me and my student tour guide vibed about the pains of touring people around. it was a fun experience, and funny to see how him and his other tour guide co-workers kinda just circle around each other with diff tourists throughout the evening-- all the tours start at the same time and go to the same places. he said they go to the same places every night, he's been eating the same food with tourist 3-4 times a week every week for 3 months since hes had this job. if i were a local i would probably find this method of touring incredibly annoying. He took me to the Thích Quảng Đức statue commemorating the monk that burned alive in the street advocating for religious freedom. He noted that the photos of the event that were distributed globally in the 1960's edit out the gas canister because it makes it look more profound and like he acted alone. You can see the bad 1960's photoshop blur in the left side of the image under the car tier. super interesting note on propaganda. Im glad I didn't come here without a guide, i would not have known that. I asked if this act of protest was effective, and if it worked to get what the Buddhist community wanted-- he said it got global eyes on the issue due to the distribution of the images. I mentioned to him that an american guy burned himself alive on the supreme court steps because of climate change last year, he was very surprised that there was basically no media coverage of that and he had not heard about it.

The tour groups kept circling around one another when we arrived at a public housing complex. we were basically walking through the projects taking photos, like honestly not a nice thing to be making a spectacle out of the people living in public housing projects. all these tour groups climbed 2-3 flights of stairs and walk around these peoples front doors, it happens every night. super obnoxious tbh. perhaps regrettably, I couldn't help but snap some pics, the lanterns were still up from the tet holiday, and the lighting was just right. These types of developments are what the book im reading is about, titled "building socialism: the afterlife of east german architecture in urban vietnam". I shared a photo of the cover before, these buildings look almost identical.

He pointed out the water tower and then we left.

[neoraso]

royal guard!minho

requested | some gender neutral hc for how he starts to wish he was maybe more than just a guard to you 

to put things lightly, minho was the ace of your entire guard

like he was better than anyone …at everything

so originally he was on (your father) the king’s immediate guard

he was nothing but professional and saved the king too many times to count even from like stepping on rocks idk 

when you turned like 17 and had to do more public appearances obv u were in a lot more danger so ur father jumped at having minho reassigned to u as the head of your personal guard “nothing but the best for his child”

the first time you met him… he only nodded or said yes or no to everything u asked him n ur jus like ok not much of a talker that’s not so bad ig haha ʕʘ‿ʘʔ

he was so quiet and “polite” for months despite you constantly trying to get something out of him

ur other guards always tried not to laugh bc if only u knew he had like two friends and was generally a pretty serious guy

but one day there was a festival in your kingdom’s central city so obv you had to make an appearance which u were very excited abt bc you only get to go into town like twice a year and THIS was one of those times

being “of age” and that much closer to taking the throne you might as well have painted a big red target on your head to signal people against the throne

everything was going fine, everyone was having fun and you decided to visit some of the booths and musicians around the square

minho was already suspicious of the situation and tightens the rest of your guard without u evenn rlly noticing but like

just as you turned to show these cute little candies to minho to maybe get a reaction for once -

the second he looks at you, someone moves to grab you but the flash of a knife in his other hand causes minho to jump immediately into action

honestly who knows what rlly happened minho moved so damn fast but the next thing you know, ur in the middle of your whole guard squad

looking through the gaps of their shoulders you see minho pinning down your assailant with a blade against his neck waiting for someone to arrest him even though he rlly wanted to just execute the guy right there 

the festivities were kind of killed for u after that bc you and your family were rushed back home which u might’ve been more sad abt if u werent in so much shock :<

obv minho was the one to escort you back but like all he said was “you’re okay?” and after u dumbly nodded with wide eyes he walked with you but kept a hand around your shoulder

no one really talked after that which wasn’t unusual for him but in his mind he was rlly like 

“?? ok i know its literally my job to protect this family but?? hm whyyyy do i seem to care sm more rnnn??//?” help him sdhskjd

u just looked so shaken up and disappointed and suddenly he was like damn </3 they rlly have no fun in their life and this one time they could was ruined :///

u had to stay inside for weeks after that bc it turns out there was a whole conspiracy to “eliminate” your family line so you waited in safety until the criminals were “taken care of” 

minho had everything triple checked around the castle for your safety and secretly made sure you had extra treats and warm drinks sent to your room sometimes with little notes that he had the cook pretend to have sent because lately he’d heard you had trouble sleeping sometimes he’s shy boy aw

he started to realize how much he had gotten used to your smile and your little jokes and the way you sometimes tripped on the corners of rugs. and he thought maybe it was a good thing you guys didnt have many interactions lately because he was way too attached

you on the other hand, couldnt even rlly complain about having to stay inside so much bc you had everything you needed and- you knew it was for ur safety but- it wassss kind of suffocating at times

u tried sneaking out at first ((just to the garden!!)) which obviously was a bad idea bc it’s impossible to get past minhos fcking hawk eyes lmao

he STILL didnt say anything like he would just follow right behind you

n like u kinda huffed but whatever honestly at least it was just him and not 15 other guards like everyone acted like you needed

plus it was somewhat comforting to have someone so solid around even if he never talked smh

one night you sat near the little pond and tried to calm your mind by watching how the moonlight rippled in the water

you can feel him behind you so u just turn around and look at him ignoring how he was already looking at you

 “would you at least sit with me?”

he kind of hesitates bc …what if someone tried to come up behind you? but with the sad look on your face he cant help but give in and sits on the stone bench at the opposite end of you

it becomes actually somewhat peaceful until you just decide to ask everything you’ve been wondering n u just blurt out-

“would it kill you to talk with me once in a while? i mean, talk like a normal person and not a machine? i dont bite i promise..”

he furrows his brow bc he’s shocked you cared at all and also he doesnt rlly know how to respond without being like “its not really in my job description to make conversation” but he honestly just thought you were being talkative out of niceties.

 before he could even form a sentence you continued,

“i mean- i’m always trying to get your attention. i dont get to meet many people for obvious reasons but my guards are the closest people to me-literally, and i dont want there to be a big gap between us just because of my status..”

he cuts you off before you ramble yourself to death 

“i didn’t know you were this troubled by it… i just take my job very seriously and i dont want to risk anyone’s safety for the sake of conversation”

u almost roll ur eyes but not wanting to be rude ur just like “even at home? i know you’re serious about your duties, believe me, i just… i get lonely.”

smthing inside him literally breakkkssss when you say that like u are such a pure and sweet person that deserves to have all the love and friends and fun in the world so he just gets quiet for a second and looks down

“im sorry.” he said it so softly you almost didnt hear him “i’ll be there for you more- if thats what you need. im essentially in charge of your safety and care and i’ll do anything to fulfill that responsibility.”

ok.

well this was good right? so why did you still feel unsatisfied?

“i dont want to just be a responsibility, cant we just be like friends? or…”

you cut yourself off before talking too much again

you had to admit to yourself you had developed a bit of a liking for minho, not just because he was probably the most handsome person in your kingdom, not even just because he saved your life, but he had really been a pillar of security in your life and you respected his loyalty and ambition.

he was more than admirable and everything you wanted as a standard for your kingdom

sometimes you let your mind wander to him getting on one knee and leading alongside you..

no, now youre getting sidetracked and delusional and he can practically hear the gears turning in your head so he stands up and reaches his hand out for you to grab 

“of course you’re more than a responsibility to me, come on, lets go inside it’s getting cold.’

taking his hand and realizing the conversation was over, you moved to link arms instead  as he walked you all the way to your bedroom door 

u slept a lot better that night 

from that point on you could not get rid of minho 

like everyone was borderline uncomfortable with how jarring his change in attitude was 

like he was constantly behind you looking right over your shoulder or grabbing your arm to stop you from bumping into things

even when he wasnt technically on duty he had taken it upon himself to give you little lessons in archery and even some defensive moves to help you protect yourself in case someone wasnt fast enough to help you 

your tried not to get flustered every time he adjusted your form and the way you could feel his breath behind your ear

or the head pats when he walked you to your room at night

or his hand on your back when you guys would take walks in the garden

honestly it did not take long until one night you were sat next to your pond and after some comfortable small talk you noticed how close his face was to yours

but he noticed you didn’t pull away even as he leaned in closer and finally just kissed you

when he pulled away and saw your eyes still closed and how soft you looked his heart almost exploded

“i didnt mean to make things weird i just,, couldnt help myself, sorry”

his rushed confession pulls you out of your daze and you’re so happy (a little shocked) but you’re quick to reassure him

“it’s ok, i’ve been wanting you to do that for a while …”

he’s jus like “rlly?😳”

obviously this complicates things a lot and you aren’t really sure if you would even be allowed to have a relationship with minho bc of ur position

or if he would get in trouble for breaking the rules of attachment to u

all of this is kind of racing thru both of ur minds as you look at each other but you laugh after u both start talking at the same time

you prod him to go first so he grabs your hands and says like

“look i care about you a lot, and i know we’re not really supposed to be doing this but if i can be by your side … beyond my duties…i would really love to. but if we can’t, i can survive with just being here to protect and serve you in anyway i can”

he’s so honest and genuine and earnest it shocked u a little

even tho you were uncertain abt the situation as well you knew you had grown a little too fond and dependent on minho that you would do anything to make it work

luckily an arranged marriage was not required for you so that wasnt really the issue, but falling in love with someone not at all royal..? it was a daunting thought how the idea would be perceived 

you wouldnt have said anything if you both weren’t completely sure of your feelings;  but you really could not imagine being content or safe spending your life with anyone else so you mustered up the courage to ask the king and queen…

when you brought it up to your parents they looked pretty concerned

minho went on the whole “i’ll do anything to protect them and this kingdom” speech and your father just waved him off and was like

“i know u would …. i’ll allow it because there’s really no one better to represent the kingdom and because i want only the best for my child ;)”

u and minho were literally in shock but just quietly said thank u and left the room

when you had privacy he immediately pulled you in for a kiss (maybe several all over ur face)

you had a lot to figure out and many responsibilities but now you had an amazing person by your side to help you through it :.) <3

[percyjacksonfan3]

The Last Olympian Thoughts

So because I have absolutely 0 self-control or restraint when it comes to this series and its characters, and for The Last Olympian in particular, I could not put TLO down. Because of this I figured I couldn’t do the usual photo reaction posts I have been so far, because the spam would just be ridiculous, so I am stealing the idea from @yourstrulytaaay​ to do a masterpost instead. (Adding a Read More cause this got ridiculously long)

Fun fact, TLO came out right after i finished reading the series for the first time so it's the first PJO book i bought  and my only hard cover one for the og series. I checked the year and turns out it was published 2009, which means i was actually 9 when i read the series for the first time. I realize this is not really a fun fact but i thought i was older when I first read the series so it's blowing my mind a little ‘cause now I’m 21 and everything hits different and i still have so much love for this series and the characters Okay onto book thoughts: - i was right that this book is gonna destroy me, the first line alone made me so excited and nostalgic it's ridiculous - I love Rachel and Percy sm tbh. Her being a bit of peace and normalcy in his life without always reminding Percy of who and what he is is so good for him. Just a little escape

- of course by the end of the book that's not the case any more but by the end he's lived his prophecy so he doesn't need it as badly, plus he and Annabeth are solid again - Percy saying Annabeth has been hard to be around lately... Ouch my heart. Luke really is the last thing that keeps them from being together and Percy is so jealous and Annabeth so torn and in pain, i feel so bad for them both

- Beckendorf 🥺🥺 - the telkhine with the Lil Demon lunchbox!! I forgot about him. Percy: 'i left him alive, partly because his lunchbox was cool' is one of my absolute favourite lines tbh - Paul taking Percy crabbing and being imperative in helping Percy kill the giant crab 💖 Paul Blofis is important and deserves the world, okay? - aw Percy, you can't save every demigod bb

- 'i had to fight him eventually. Why not now?... What difference would a week make?' Oh Percy you have no idea - real talk tho, the fact Kronos possessed Luke's body would also mess me tf up. Percy keeps forgetting it's not Luke anymore and yeah, that would be so so hard and confusing af, like what another smart little mind game for Kronos to pull on top of everything else - the fact Percy fights Kronos before getting the Achilles Curse and actually doesn't die within seconds is... Astounding. He kicks him in the chest! And yeah Kronos is weaker and still adjusting to Luke's body, but Percy is having trouble fighting Luke cause they used to be friends - Percy breaks Kronos' time magic!! Like?! Boy is POWERFUL.

- OUCH - honestly Luke, Thalia and Annabeth's family breaking the way it did... Don't talk to me. Poor Annabeth, Luke betrayed them, Thalia joined the Hunters because of Luke's betrayal so she's pretty much AWOL all the time and then Luke dies. Like Rick wtf, my heart can't take it? -Percy and Tyson having each others backs when talking to Poseidon in the underwater palace is the brother-brother relationship we love to see - Percy trying to stick a sand dollar in the vending machines at school 🤦🏻‍♀🤦🏻‍♀ - the whole underwater interaction at Poseidon's palace? Perfection. Awkward family drama and all - Connor falling out of the tree when he sees Percy because he's so excited 😂😂

- 😭💖

- k, ik Clarisse isn't perfect but tbh if i was a child of Ares whose father was disrespected and hated by my fellow campers (ares deserves it but still) and that disrespect trickled down to how the other campers treated ME (which if Percy is reliable here, it obviously does) then i would also be irritated at being used for muscle and nothing else? And just expected to fight with the people who act as if they'd rather not have Ares kids around the rest of the time. Like Clarisse isn't totally wrong - Percy reading the prophecy, seeing he's meant to die and just being like 'i do not see it' and refusing to outright think about it makes me so sad for him - (but it taints every action after and he's super reckless afterwards bc of it- including finally breaking and accepting the Achilles Curse) - (also him taking this as the last straw and finally beginning to show Annabeth how he really feels, cause fuck it, he's dying anyway) - Give me more info about Rachel's backstory and family Rick!! -  how did i forget Percy willingly eats chocolates that taste like cardboard because 'i didnt have anything against cardboard' like sir? Ik Silena didn't want them but still? - 'she'd always been cute, but she was starting to be seriously beautiful' STOP, MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT - Percy staring at Annabeth and forgetting what they're talking about cause hes so distracted 👌🏻

- hmm yeah... For some strange reason.... - i forgot how Percy totally bombs this convo bw them and now want to cry 😭 Annabeth is trying to talk about what's important and Percy, you sweet oblivious man, you're shooting her down without even realizing - love that they're both on the same wavelength tho. Percy two lines before, hmm it's cool to date ppl from other cabins, wonder why im thinking that around Annabeth, my best friend in the world, and then Annabeth a beat later, hmm, let me bring up Silena and Beckendorf and how it's important to be with the people you love when you have the chance, no way Percy will miss this huge hint right? - they're the best - k i honestly forgot Percy full on physically intimidates Leneus like that - luke telling his mom if he ran away the monsters wouldnt get her..i can just imagine luke crying when he says good bye before running away because he thinks it's his fault his mom is like that and he cant take care of and protect her anymore because it's too hard - uh oh now i have angsty pre-lightning thief luke fic inspo... Him, Thalia and Annabeth on the run... The ANGST -  Rick holds absolutely nothing back in this book and i am in pain - HESTIA!! 💖💖🥰 - actual loml - i love that Rick titled this book after her and that he wrote such a great series about the importance of family (biological, found or otherwise) and home, and that he said actually Hestia is the most important bc shes the most humble and keeps the peace and knows when to fight and when to yield and you protect what you love, which is your home - i just... Adore Hestia - Grover! Missed you babes - Hades is so so horrible to Nico, always comparing him to Bianca :/ - but i do love Hades, Persephone and Demeter together they make me laugh - oh god the River Styx - Achilles 🥺 - Annabeth being Percy's lifeline is, and continues to be, A Lot™ - 'my name was Percy Jackson. I reached up and took Annabeth's hand.' LOL Why am i crying? - Like the fact there is no Percy without Annabeth, and that remembering her literally reminded him of who he is in his very soul... It's fine im fine - i won't even get into the parallels of her being his lifeline now and then later when Hera takes his memories but leaves the memory of Annabeth for Percy to fight to get back to (anyone who wants to yell about it with me... Feel free to message) - badass Percy is my fav Percy tbh - him defeating Hades?? Like? Hades is arguably the most powerful god, okay - i feel bad for Nico but if i was Percy I'd do the exact same, Nico, sorry man but this is a high stakes time crunch deal and Nico is literally the only hope of persuading Hades and distracted by his own internal stuff - flashbacks to Luke, Thalia and Annabeth hurt, ow - George and Martha are the best - damn i forgot Hermes full on nearly kills Percy here, yikes - Luke stop cockblocking Percabeth challenge

- i love!! Percy's love for New York!! So much!! - Percy leaving to live in New Rome in HoO is a lie and this is all the proof i need for why - the fact the entire last half of the book is the battle and aftermath... Such great buildup and pacing. All the tricks and twists and battles in this War of Manhattan? I would not take out a thing, Rick, you legend - of course then the final battle in hoo with the gods is what? Two pages? Ugh, don’t talk to me about my hatred for BoO and HoO - 'no detours you two' is still the cutest thing!!! - THE HUNTERS!! Thalia i missed you - good job Percy, you finally spent your sand dollar - Minotaur!! - 'dont i get a kiss for luck? Its kind of a tradition right?' Percy finds out he's gonna die and is out of fucks to give and honestly I support him - also Michael just standing beside these two while they're flirting like umm 👀 👀 while a monster army marches towards them, nbd - Annabeth taking Ethan's knife meant for Percy!!! Cause she just knows his weak spot without him even telling her! They literally invented love - Feral Percy is so scary omg, i love how well Rick incorporates the Achilles Curse in this novel, with the whole heightened weaknesses and stuff ans the parallels to Achilles arrogance being what killed him and Percy's loyalty, fierceness and protective instinct being his own heightened weakness - the fact that Percy is the one who inadvertantly kills Michael Yew tho, I'll never recover from that - the fact Hades offers Maria di Angelo a golden palace by the Styx like how Poseidon offers Sally a palace under the sea tho. Let's talk about that parallel - the entire talk with Prometheus is so so good - not me picturing young Luke hiding in the closet to get away from his mom when she has an 'episode' -i love callbacks in stories and all of the callbacks to the rest of the series in this book make me very happy (medusa, minotaur, the underworld, Rainbow!! My baby!!, Daedalus and more) - Percy summoning a wholeass hurricane against Hyperion - the Party Ponies! They're so chaotic, i love it - Dionysus! 😁 I can't help it, i love him - Percy absolutely losing it when he sees Sally and Paul asleep in the car 🥺 - Rachel telling Percy he's not the hero screws with him so much :( poor bb - although i really really love how Rick wrote this, it's so refreshing to not have one chosen one save the world, but a combination of people - the drakon, Silena and Clarisse make me cry - the Patrochilles references, im not okay - Annabeth giving up on Luke after hearing what he did to Silena and Percy telling her that doesn't make him happy 😭 that whole interaction makes my heart ache - Percy giving Hestia Pandora's pithos 🥺 - and Hades, Nico and the others coming for a final attack is so badass, i love it - listen im glad the og trio were the ones to confront Luke on Olympus but the fact Thalia got so close and then pinned by a statue of HERA makes me so sad. Ik her and Luke were finished and she coped by cutting him off completely and giving up all hope but i would pay money to know what they would have said to each other to say goodbye - Ethan 🥺 - Poseidon joining the fight against Typhon is so cool, such a great scene - 'PEANUT BUTTER!' - Annabeth you brilliant badass you - RIP Luke, you werent great but you werent the worst either - the gods just rolling up seconds too late, wondering wtf happened in Olympus and who the dead body is - the chapter where the Olympians meet and give out rewards is one of my absolute favourites (again i am incensed we didn't get anything like this in HoO) - will Percy turning down immortality ever not make me scream in glee? No? Alright then - Annabeth being relieved like Percy was relieved at the end of Titan's Curse tho - oh Hermes :/ - its so hard reading all this and knowing what comes in HoO... Like it's such a cathartic, earned and mostly happy and peaceful ending and then HoO comes along and undermines it all - aww Rick let Paul see Olympus somehow pls, he deserves it, he killed a dracanae - (i would also love to see it) - Percy being more upset Rachel took his pegasus than her going to Camp and possibly dying, lol, priorities dude - i honestly think that Rick had other ideas for the second Great Prophecy and how things would go down in BoO, cause the prophecy like... Barely applies to BoO, Doors of Death are in book four, and explabations of it is all so unclear when Rick is usually pretty good with that stuff - PERCABETH - lol Percy complaining about privacy when he and Annabeth are caught kissing literally in the middle of the very open and public dining pavilion, okay - BEST UNDERWATER KISS OF ALL TIME - that's it and im a glass case of emotion - very happy to say that this series remains my favourite of all time 💖

 If anyone ever wants to come gush about anything Riordanverse related feel free, because as you can see I have a lot of thoughts about it all

[cattles-bians]

Damie Vibecca exes AU part 4

post directory

[em note: this one is LONG i had to split it!!!]

obsetress: deflecting to viola protecting becs

obsetress: once they are dating

obsetress: and thinkin thoughts

em: viola asks rebecca if she wants to put a hit out on peter and rebestiecca is like????

em: that’s hot but

em: u can do that? also maybe don’t. but mostly that’s hot

obsetress: i was literally gonna say peter is still her ex and he's a persistent fucker even though it's been a year at least and viola's response is... not far off from canon!

obsetress: becca just stares at her for a minute and then she's cupping viola's cheek and murmuring "come here" and pulling her down

obsetress: they're like kissing or whatever and rebecca's murmuring "that was hot, you know" between kisses and viola's like "oh?" and becca's like "don't be cheeky, you know it was" and vi just grins against her mouth

em: I’m Really Invested In This Crack Ship

obsetress: ok but rebecca tells jamie and dani about vi offering to put a hit on peter and they're both understandably and reasonably aghast and rebecca's just like (takes a sip of wine, ducks head, smiles to self) i think it's sweet

obsetress: dani and jamie look at each other out of the corners of their eyes

obsetress: (later, dani agrees how absolutely out of line it is but also admits that it sure does feel nice to be so taken care of sometimes)

obsetress: (jamie throws a pillow at her)

obsetress: also thinking about secret soft vibecca are sometimes and how horrified dani and jamie are the first time they see it with their own eyes

em: jamie and dani excessive PDA queens get a taste of their own medicine

em: it’s so funny that i’m like. always on the verge of viola horny posting but as soon as it’s vibecca i’m like look at these babies. these beautiful babies

obsetress: viola and rebecca kissing one (1) time at brunch and jamie, arm slung around dani’s shoulders, is like “oi, no one wants to see that” and dani, leaning into jamie, one hand in her lap, crinkles her nose and rebecca’s like “y— you’re kidding, right?”

obsetress: also like. we talk a lot about what vi does for rebecca but also like

obsetress: vi massive abandonment issues and rebecca just

obsetress: she just stays

em: ur gonna Kill me here lies em

obsetress: i know i didn’t mean to and then i just

obsetress: i can’t think too hard abt them or i will Melt Down but just like

em: look if rebecca can see the best in someone as awful as peter

em: viola isnt nearly as terrible

obsetress: esp vi post dani like

obsetress: she’s obnoxious and haughty and neoliberal but

obsetress: radical love goes a long way!

obsetress: rebecca grounding her thru touch and rebecca slipping her hands around vi’s and easing them loose when vi’s hands start to clench and rebecca just pressing a kiss to viola’s temple and murmuring “i’m here, yeah? with you. not going anywhere”

em: like i just think after eddie dani wouldnt like, just go w the flw any more. like i think abt her challenging viola occasionally

em: lovingly! gently

but like, holding her accountable

em: also violas absolutely little spoon

em: like i know blah blah viola top rebecca top leaning switch but viola little spoon

obsetress: “actually viola” (vi always knows she’s in trouble when dani calls her viola) “that was really hurtful” “i’m sorry you feel that way, dani, but—“ “i don’t need you to be sorry for how i feel. i need you to show me you’re sorry for what you did”

em: dani calls vi the Full Name and viola knows shes in trouble bc thats at least 4 extra vowels w danis midwest accent

em: it is always v surprising how much like, working w kids equips you to work w adults. b/c at least w kids you dont have layers and layers of social nuance to work through. u can just say 'hey. that was hurtful and your apology sucks'

obsetress: meanwhile dani’s over here trying to explain to vi intent vs impact and how no, it’s not semantics or nuance, it’s actually kind of a chasm

em: i kind of love like um. look viola is terrible but she wasnt born terrible

obsetress: she just has a lot to unlearn

em: and id belive that even if i wasnt a ghostfucker thats just rogers theory of self actualisation babyeee

obsetress: dani viola big fight n dani's like

obsetress: "i'm sorry and i love you but it's not my job to fix you, vi" and she just breaks down and she's like "it's not"

obsetress: jesus why did my brain take THAT turn

em: wrow

em: its ok i was gonna be like 'so they obvs break up at some point....'

obsetress: anyway viola just stares at her for a second and then she's like "you put the 'i'm sorry' before the 'i love you'"

obsetress: and dani just stares at her for a long time and she's like "yeah. i guess i did"

em: HANNAH

em: BESTIE

obsetress: i KNOW what the FUCK

obsetress: anyway dani's like "i guess i did" and vi's like "is that it then?" and dani just looks at her with her puffy eyes and is like "i think so"

obsetress: dani clayton queen of saying "i love you" over and over in the midst of breaking up w someone

em: well! she has a lot of love to give but, she also has to love herself sometimes!

em: i was thinking abt scenarios n i just remembered that. whole video rental shop thing so i think that slots in nicely

[em edit: u can read here]

obsetress: god i love that lil scene

em: dani sends viola a tentative little meme peace offering and they get back to talking and its nice but maybe a bit awkward and viola mentions like, going to therapy and seeing someone for help n its

obsetress: vi's stewing on "i can't fix you" for weeks and then she's begrudgingly. BEGRUDGINGLY calling a therapist

em: like its still awkward and dani is still nursing some wounds but she can ALSO be happy for someone she used to care about

em: still cares about!

obsetress: she's always gonna love her in some way or another

obsetress: but yeah also like. smth to viola being too stubborn to do anything she doesn't wanna do except suddenly when dani clayton gets involved and that feels p canon in its own way too

em: 'i cant fix u' weird bc every time i see viola im like 'i can fix her'

obsetress: it's like ur in my head bestie

em: how do u think viola and rebestiecca met

em: not that u think abt it or anything

obsetress: MAN i was just thnking

obsetress: in this universe how did dani and jamie meet but i guess it can still just be bly tbh

obsetress: as for vi and bestiecca hmmm

em: am so caught up in the joy of fucked up interpersnal dynamics i forgot a meet cute

obsetress: honestly part of me wants to be like

obsetress: on some dating app but a dating app for posh people yk

obsetress: but then i'm like

obsetress: that takes all the meet cute fun out of it

obsetress: oh GOD

obsetress: i got it

obsetress: ready

obsetress: so like viola landlord we know this

obsetress: and then i was watching whatever ep three the other day and bex mentions wanting to do public law right

em: oooooh

obsetress: bex public housing attorney

em: OOH

obsetress: they meet at some conference

obsetress: hit it off prob fuck lbr

obsetress: and then

obsetress: comedy of errors

obsetress: whoever stays the night, they sleep together again in the morning, breakfast in bed, bex is like "so what do you do, anyway"

em: hjgbjshmdnfbmngbmhnbgs,hndg m,shndgds

em: YES

obsetress: and then they just

em: WHEEZES

obsetress: also i like to think rebecca invites vi back to her hotel room and vi is so charmed by her taking charge ("""taking charge""") that she lets her

obsetress: and then like

obsetress: god for a while what if they just like

obsetress: they're so mortified and morally and fundamentally at odds but like

obsetress: the sex is so good???????

obsetress: that they keep just meeting up and then

em: romeo and juliet situation

obsetress: yk how it goes

obsetress: the sex is good and they see each other as like

em: thats so fucking good thank u hannah

obsetress: super rare intellectual equals whatever

obsetress: thank u i am exceedingly proud rn

obsetress: honestly at this point i'm

obsetress: rebecca and vi uhaul change my mind

obsetress: like not too quick because isabel but, quick enough to be considered

em: so the joke is like. obviously 'extremely pda damie' but when rebecca and vi are alone they Also cannot get their hands off each other

obsetress: they both just. worry about appearances too much meanwhile

obsetress: tweedle dee and tweedle dum in the overalls and mom jeans dgaf

em: accidentally seeing ur friends compromised is just part of the package of being friends w damie. however jamie accidentally catches vibecca in the act and shes Horrified

em: hypocrits

em: danis like yeah what do u. think theyre doing

em: dani is nonchallant bc shes dated viola of all people

obsetress: i mean could you imagine

obsetress: between vi and dani's just

obsetress: insatiable libido

em: HADNT IMAGINED UNTIL NOW BUT YEAH

obsetress: dani, very seriously: jamie, when two women love each other––

em: dani likes dating jamie bc it means she can top occasionally :) maybe even more than occasionally

em: jamies like ooh my god i knw i know how are u so casual about... rebecca... and ... viola... (dani just pulls her in fr a smooch)

obsetress: they have each other's clothes half off and dani's like "i'm so casual because i dated her too, babe" and jamie's like "can we not have this conversation right n"

obsetress: also i still have this on my clipboard from earlier we bopped around so fast but

obsetress: vi and bex hooking up early on:

obsetress: rebecca knocks on vi's door at, like, 6:00 pm after work, vi opens it, rebecca just grabs her and kisses her, vi pulls her in, becca kicks it closed behind her, vi shoves her against the door and they're kissing against it, then vi's ducking her head to kiss along rebecca's neck and rebecca's like "how many people did you evict today" as she angles her head and then viola's finding her lips again and tugging at her lower lip with her teeth "probably not as many landlords as you shortchanged today" and rebecca's laughing and pushing her backwards down the hall as viola tugs at her blouse

em: GOD. viola is probably like

em: ok, disclaimer: fuck all landlords

em: but at least in this fantasy world perhaps viola is 'fairly' 'reasonable' n shes absolutely playing it up for the hate sex angle n rebecca Maybe Assumes shes lying but

em: stupid morons in love

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: i think i've mentioned this before but like

obsetress: now that it's more fleshed out

obsetress: then they're at drinks one night (and when did it go from just sex to drinks? neither of them could tell you) and viola's kinda quiet n moody (n rebecca already knows she Gets Like This sometimes and that she'll usually say whatever she's thinking eventually) and finally she's like

obsetress: "i have... a daughter" and rebecca's just like "tell me about her" like it's the easiest thing in the world

obsetress: and viola's head snaps over and she stares because she was.... not expecting that

obsetress: and so viola does

obsetress: and rebecca's just like "i'd love to meet her one day"

em: soft.....

obsetress: they always turn back to soft

obsetress: like they have a fuckin mind of their own

em: rapidly oscillate between horny and soft

obsetress: that's the mood

em: violas probably like. yknow, rebecca's young and up and cming n she probably assumes rebesticca isnt interested as something as full on as a kid but shes like 'do you have any photos'

obsetress: fuck!!!!!!!!!

em: rebeccas like do u think i didnt. see the photos at ur apartment lmao

em: theres a childs drawing on the fridge

obsetress: rebecca has known almost from the jump but was

obsetress: giving viola her time

obsetress: also smth smth giving her time instead of time wearing her away etc etc we're all in hell

em: cracks knuckles

em: bestie....

obsetress: pls

obsetress: it's what i deserve

obsetress: first tho

obsetress: consider

obsetress: the way viola's face lights up when she's talking about isabel and showing rebecca all the pictures

obsetress: hold pls

em: soft......

obsetress: this one chief

obsetress: right here

[the-z-list]

Thought i'd start off the blog with a strong first post, to do this im going to do this idea that ive had for a long time where I 'Tom King' other Z list rogues

Now if you havent read Tom King's Batman run then i'll give you a little explanation on what happened to Kite Man. Throughout the entire run Kite Man is used for comedic relief, however in 'The War Of Jokes And Riddles' it reveals Kite Mans tragic origin in which The Riddler kills his son with a poisoned kite string, this then inspires Charlie Brown to take up the mantle of Kite Man to fight back against Riddler.

Now you can see the appeal of what an origin like that could do, the rogue is still seen as fun and lighthearted as apposed to the grimdark in every day Gotham, but the backstory is still good and compelling enough to make them a mainstay in Batmans villains. This pretty much sums up what I plan to do with some of my favrioute underated rogues

Now lets start off the series with a bang -

THE CONDIMENT KING -

Mitchell Mayo worked at the local Bat-Burger, he was a cashier mostly but he savoured the chances when the manager would let him in the back to work on the food - thats what he wanted to do in life, work with food, be a chef. His plan in life was going well, he was a couple of shifts away from actually being able to afford culinary school in Central City, he might be able to actually achieve his dreams. That is until a certain purple suited clown happened to walk his way into the fast food joint. At first nobody realised it was him, they get a lot of cosplayers showing up, hell even some of the staff dress up to break the staleness that comes with the job. But people started to take this clown seriously when he grabbed Mitch by the throat and slammed his head against the condiment machine. The Joker had kept the fast food chain hostage for two whole weeks before one day he decided the joke wasnt funny anymore. Within those two weeks the clown had tortured Mitch to point of mental break and back again. It was here that Mitch had made himself a promise that if he ever got out of here he'd do everything in his power to stop this from happening to anybody ever again.

And thats what he did. Designing the gaudiest, most ridicolous costume he could with the purpose of NOT being taken seriously. Mitch's plan for helping people is this - Rob a place as The Condiment King, and when the word gets out that the place got robbed by THE GODAMN CONDIMENT KING of all people, then nobody else is going to want to rob that place afterwords, nobody wants to be second to the guy that shoots ketchup, and its intentional. If nobody robs or holds these places hostage, then nobody is going to go through what Mitch went through.

Batman knows this and because of that always lets him go with just enough cash for a stable income.

and thats it people, please tell me what you think. More is on the way, so stay tuned on the same bat time, the same bat channel.

please reblog if you enjoyed, likes are nice but they dont really do anything

[prose-for-hire]

Friends don’t let friends kill their hair

Pairing: Cordelia Chase x Spike (platonic)

Request: Hello lovely! I have a not reader related request, but if you dont want to write it, its fine! I thought that maybe one day spike screws up bleaching his hair and he goes to Cordy for help? And they bond and become reaaally good friends. I think they could gave a pretty neat friendship, if the writers would have let them,and they are my favourites and you write them so amazingly 🌈

Requested by: @therapieliteratur​ - hope this is okay babe !!

A/N: This is my first request with no reader! It was fun, I love both of the characters so I couldn’t say no to making them friends !!

When I was younger I had a bleaching disaster - I actually had a nightmare one night after writing this fic about bleaching my hair again and it all falling out lol

Spike had been bleaching his hair for a long time now. He could pretty much do it with his eyes closed at this point, and in some sense he did as he didn’t have a mirror to check if he had covered everything.

Now, Spike had let his roots grow out a little longer than he usually would, as he had a slight income problem. The problem being he couldn’t find enough people to intimidate into giving him the cash he needed for the essentials: Blood, smokes and most importantly, bleach. This wouldn’t usually stop him, he would use his five-finger discount but he had now got himself a reputation after being caught shoplifting too many times. So, when he did eventually drum up enough money for his box-bleach, his roots were ridiculously overgrown.

He wasn’t able to see himself in the mirror, so didn’t think anything of it until he came across a demon who was definitely not a fan of Spike’s.

“What, it’s not bad enough you’re helping the slayer, you went and gave yourself a golden halo too?” One had taunted, punching him in the face before walking of. Apparently, spike wasn’t even worth dusting. Spike was confused, but not for long. A kinder woman behind the bar who served him his shot of blood told him his bleaching hadn’t gone as well as he had expected.

That’s when Cordelia found him late at night, staring at the rows of bleach in the store. Cordelia had been in to buy tampons and had audibly gasped at the state of his hair. Almost having to shield her eyes from the horror of it.

“Yeah that’s right laugh it up, why don’t you take a bloody picture it’ll last longer” He muttered, instantly on the offensive. He recognised the girl, she knew the Slayer and Angel.

“Ugh, really? Draw more attention to it why don’t you” she rolled her eyes walking away to pay for her items. She didn’t need to be stuck in a conversation, she had things to do.

“Look, pet, just- which one would patch it?” Spike asked, eyes to the floor as he asked for help. Cordelia sighed over-exaggeratedly before stalking back over to the shelves, checking his hair again with a little squint before taking a few bottles and boxes and handing them to him. Spike nodded, a silent thanks and Cordelia went and paid, leaving Spike alone in the drug store.

Cordelia was walking to her car, it was dark and she had to park a few blocks away. She hurried through the streets, not knowing if the feeling of being followed was real or just because she knew what could be lurking there. She finally turned around, finding herself face-to-face with Spike who was holding a brown bag of shopping.

“What is wrong with you, anyone tell you that the annual stalk-a-thon is next week?”

“Really? I better make my way over for that one, any idea what time?” Spike continued, rolling his eyes as if he was already over the conversation, “Listen, love, I was thinkin’ you clearly have a free evening and-”

“I’m busy, actually”

“Yeah? Doin’ what exactly?” he asked, making Cordelia sigh and scowl a little. He was right, she hadn’t had any plans since high school. Half of her friends had died during graduation and her move to LA had to be put on hold as there was a slight cash-flow problem that even her father couldn’t help with. Cordelia huffed, but nodded after Spike gestured to his bag and asked her to tell him what to do to salvage his hair, “Oh come on, I’ll do it”

Back at the crypt, Spike was sat in front of the tv with a towel around his shoulders.

“Not that I don’t respect a man that maintains his own sense of style, but your hair is seriously dead. Like way dead”

“Like the rest of me then” He shrugged.

“No, like, dead dead. It’s like straw! And believe me, I know, I was the straw-princess for three years running”

Spike opened his mouth to ask what the hell a straw-princess was but decided against it. He was strangely enjoying the girl’s company and he didn’t want to insult her and have her leave him with only half of the hair righted.

“The bleach you buy is harsh and you bleach it what every few weeks? You should try a different brand, I know a few” She offered, continuing to correct his mistake.

She continues chattering away, over his tv programme. He starts to tell her to be quiet but she gets snippy, threatening to leave him with half a crown. He sighed, flipping the tv off. He sat there, trying not to itch his head as the bleach took effect. 

He found himself enjoying Cordelia’s company. She was talking, non-stop about the recent goings-on. The demons, how everyone else had started college and she was still just living at home. How she planned to leave to LA. Spike chipped in sometimes, and he was surprisingly supportive about her aspiration to become an actress.

When she was finally done, she announced it in characteristic fashion, “There! Don’t tell me that doesn’t look better?! She smiled brightly, checking out her work and nodding at herself in appreciation.

“I can’t see it, pet, but I believe you. Couldn’t bloody disagree or my head would be spinning with your shrill insistence” he muttered, getting up to stretch after being sat for a while. He slicked his hair back and shrugged choosing to trust the girl. He looked back at Cordelia, the look asking her what she was still doing here. Cordelia rolled her eyes, but smiled before she left.

It was next month so Spike had a good month and had the cash to buy bleach on time. But, this wasn’t needed as when he returned to his crypt in the early morning, just before the sun rose.

There was a little basket, filled with haircare products. Spike frowned, looking around as if it was a trap. As if the slayer was now targeting him where it would really hurt. Taking the last thing he had managed to maintain despite everything. His aesthetic.

He was suspicious, but he hauled the basket into the crypt. He double checked behind him at the entrance to make sure nobody was going to run in and make fun of him or stake him for taking the products inside.

There was better quality bleach, conditioners that might make the quality of his hair better and an old polaroid camera for him to check his hair through taking pictures.

There was a card that read, “Death isn’t an excuse for a bad dye job – C”

Spike smiled, valuing the thought the girl had for her before shaking himself out of it. He was lonely, so any hint of friendship he appeared to cling to at the moment. He had even considered asking if Giles would let him in to watch Passions again, just for company the other week.

“Hey, what’s new in the land of damp and spooky?” Cordelia asked she had decided to drop in finding herself enjoying talking to the vampire. She had been dropping by every so often since she had helped him. She was looking around his home with a disdain she couldn’t quite hide well enough. Her next idea was to convince Spike to let her at least make it a little more homely. Spike didn’t reply, only rolled his eyes almost fondly at the girl who had started to drop in and bring light coloured throws for his sofa and thinking he wouldn’t notice.

“You’re using the products!” Cordelia stated, smiling slightly with satisfaction as she saw some half-used bottles. She had hoped he would.

“To coin a popular Sunnydale phrase, duh” He swatted her away as if she was being moronic for thinking he wouldn’t. He had hoped his gesture had confirmed it to her but she hadn’t understood that this was Spike’s way of saying thank you.

“Well, you don’t have to be rude – you just have to say thank you” Cordelia offered, a small smile on her lips at hearing the vampire say ‘duh’. It felt alien coming from his mouth. Maybe there was hope for him to adapt – finding him some lighter colours and perhaps an aesthetic that wasn’t so black and scary. She had detailed fantasies of convincing him to let her style him a few outfits. Spike just stared at her demand, figuring he must like the brashness of this girl. She was blunt and bossy, and a bit shallow by all accounts. But he couldn’t help become fond of her, especially when she continued when she didn’t say anything, “Fine, if you want say it, you can show it” Cordelia brandished a makeup bag filled with little bottles of nail varnish.

“What the bloody hell-”

“Nails!” She rolled her eyes and grinned as if it was obvious, sitting down and waiting for him to start painting them.

The pair had a good friendship-of-sorts after this, meeting up every so often to gossip about recent goings on. Spike found himself missing her friendship after she was finally able to move to LA, but he kept in contact with her, making trips to see her (and avoiding Angel) to catch up with each other.

[autisticangus]

anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys

i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life

if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit

as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!

Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!

These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.

Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt. 

He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.

he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on

/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him. 

i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.

things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident. 

so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.

one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.

i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.

i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.

its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.

and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them

and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.

when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.

and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.

i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.

[jimlingss]

Thank you, everyone, for your words of encouragement. In this short amount of time, I’ve been absolutely overwhelmed with messages of support. I want to reassure you all that I’m by no means as hurt as some of you think, or at least not after so much kindness. I’ve always encouraged all kinds of feedback!! From compliments to constructive criticism. And I’m (supposedly) an Adult™, so I can definitely take someone’s opinion.

Regardless, thank you to everyone who reached out to me. I want to respond to each and everyone of you under this post so I don’t flood other people’s dashes.

Anonymous said: about the anon who said your fics lack emotion, hmm i wouldn't quite agree tbh, i remember reading tears of a villian and deadass crying, it hurt me so much!! also, in "fall in hatred" their feeling are so well portrayed and i could understand why they acted a certain way! to conlclude, there is always some space for constructive criticism but your stories, are to me, something very attentively built and created, it's apparent that you completely enjoy writing, I can feel your enthusiasm!!

--to that anon; pls don't get this wrong way but it's just the way I see it and I've read quite a lot till now

nah deadass crying isn’t good enough anymore, anon. You have to be keening and violently sobbing until you’re brought into the ER for my fics to be considered to have emotion. lol I’m only kidding, thank you for the message.

peachiest-hun said: To that anon who said your work lacked emotions, I beg to differ! I have read Jungle Park so many times I know at exactly which chapter when the heavy angst starts happening and I read those parts when I just want to have a good cry (I still cry every. single. time)! Also Head Over Heels to Hell, The Colour of Our Voices, Love So Shallow (because I so relate with OC), and many more have given me the FEELS (happy and sad ones). 1/2

So what I'm trying to say is that Jimlingss is doing a great job in her craft. She does deliver emotions in her work and the reason I love it so much is that it's SUBTLE and not completely in your face. Sometimes emotions that are subtle and they hit you slowly, but powerfully it hurts even more for me. On another note, I'm loving Sugar and Coffee. In times of darkness which are often these days, I have something to look forward to every week to keep me motivated. So thank you Jimlinggs! 2./2

Istg Jungle Park is one of the most unexpectedly beloved fics on my blog but I love it hahaha I can’t believe you’ve read it to the point of knowing what chapter is what though. that’s an honour. There’s definitely stories of mine that are less subtle than others, but I’m glad that you enjoy the latter of them too :’) Thank you.

Anonymous said: This is my first time ever leaving a message on someone’s tumblr, but I just felt that I HAD to after reading that anon’s comment about your stories lacking emotion. I wholly disagree (in the nicest way possible, not throwing any shade at anyone). I’ve read all of your fics (for the past two years) and I look forward to when you release new material (the highlight of my Mondays right now after I come home from working at a clinic). Your stories have really lifted my mood during this pandemics an

Anonymous said: Sorry for that long tangent. Don’t even know if I made sense. You don’t have to respond to any of this, but you deserve to hear some positive words as well.

Oh my god. Did I just take your tumblr-message virginity? asdfghjkl I’m kidding. but thank you for reaching out to me. I can’t believe you’ve been around for such a long time and that I’m a part of your Monday routine :’) 

Anonymous said: OK that ask about "constructive criticism" was def imo RUDE. You don't just anonymously go into someone's asks and bluntly tell an author that their fics "lack emotion". That is not the way to encourage someone to improve and continue to work hard. That's just flat out mean. That person clearly doesn't care about your feelings or the fact that you write and share your stories for FREE for us to enjoy. I love your stories and appreciate what you've shared with us. Thank you for your hard work ❤️

I like to give the benefit of the doubt to anons and anyone sending me a message online in general. God knows there were times I meant well but it was received wrongly. But anyway, my mind was more boggled than I was hurt, that’s one thing for sure.

joonie-mono said: + it was called love so shallow which genuinely made me see myself in a character, but my point was that your writing has a specific feel to it, it's made me laugh and cry (His Name personally killed me :] ) and that's my opinion. You and your writing are amazing and I'm sorry but that anon was just so wrong.

oof bringing out the evidence. be my attorney please.

Anonymous said: As someone who has read your entire masterlist (and going through it again) i will have to wholeheartedly disagree with that anon. The way you portray SO many emotions in your fics is *chefs kiss* and I honestly thought that the ones that “lack emotion” were meant to be that way, with an open ending, the idea that their love just started, soo.... yeah, I’ll have to disagree.

There are definitely stories of mine that are a bit looser on romance. Such as Kitchen Romance, The President’s Son, The Heiress’ Son, Arcadia, etc. But I have a loooot of fics that are quite emphasized in either despair/sadness or cute fluff.

ladyartemesia said: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I am here to disrespectfully disagree with anon who probably doesn’t write effing ANYTHING and has no idea what it takes to produce the content you do. I have followed for months and I’m still not through your masterlist BECAUSE reading your stories is a bloomin EMOTIONAL EVENT. When I read Brass and Strings, I LOST A WHOLE DAY. Like I was so into it, my DAY was gone. Anon is prolly salty there isn’t more smut I guess. That’s whatever for them. (Part 1)

It’s subtle, deep, meaningful, and incredible and you’re one of my favorite authors. I can’t FOR A SECOND let that comment go cause it’s RIDICULOUS. You’re literally so gifted. You don’t need to change a thing. Every artist, no matter their medium, should continue to improve. So in that sense I wish you all the growth in the world as you work towards the perfection of your craft. BUT SERIOUSLY you’re an incredible writer. That anon is loony. I’m so sorry you had to even read those crazy words.

As I answer these messages, it’s starting to feel like I’m the third party mediator of a dispute and all y’all are just HAMMERING it to this anon, LOL. I’m not sure if the anon is necessarily requesting for more smut but if they are, they might be happy this Friday (*COUGH spoiler for those actually reading my responses)

Anyway, you’re too kind. thank you. I am definitely not as hurt as I was earlier.

((and tbh you’re hilarious, you’re actually making me laugh irl))

krystle1990 said: Woah!! Ok first that Anon is absolutely crazy. I literally stalk your page for new work being put out! I probably blow up your notifications daily. I've never been disappointed in any of your work. You always give a heads up if it will take time for the characters to realize their feelings which I absolutely love. It always leaves me ready for the next part and I am glued to my phone with every update. You're amazing and I can't wait to see how you grow with your work. 💜😘

ASDFGHJKL PLEASEEE if it’s someone who’s worried about blowing up notifications, it’s me. To those who have notifications on I sincerely can’t fathom how often I blow up people’s phones. I digress, I always give out warnings to keep people patient since I know slow burn can be excruciating haha thank you for the message.

kigurumu said: Also just want to add that saying you have good intentions or "don't mean to be mean" does not cancel out whatever offensive thing you just said. IT WILL STILL RUDE. Not saying all negative feedback is bad. Criticism can be hard to take no matter how it's phrased, but telling a writer to be more like another writer is like telling them their style isn't good enough which is NOT helpful. Your writing is your own. If the anon wants to read fics that are like gukyi's, they can read gukyi's fics 🙄

Also I've been waiting until Sugar and Coffee is done so I can binge it all at once but avoiding spoilers from all the asks is so hard haha! I keep seeing all these good things about it and I'm SO tempted to just read it now but I've already waited this long so I don't wanna give up kfnrjrofvjskdh guess I'll reread your other fics in the meantime

The message was fine on its own but I think dragging in another writer at the end was definitely not ok. When will comparing writers end. But regardless, gukyi and I are cool with one another - i mean we wrote 100k together so it’s gonna have to take a reverse Zuko arc for us to be on bad terms lol

Anyway, oooh you’re one of those bingers. Can’t say I blame you cause I love binging myself, so it’s understandable for readers to wait till the series is over. and since you were so kind in following up your original message with two more and expressing so much appreciation for me :’), I’ll let you know that the finale of Sugar and Coffee will be posted by July 20th! by then, the entire series will be completed. 

Anonymous said: Tbh i think that neither you nor that anon is wrong. Some people like it more romanticised and cheesy, some people dont. I believe that your stories are more on the realistic side of life. People (whom your characters represent) cant always be cheesy and passionate for love, there are other things in life! Maybe you're just the type who's too realistic for any hopeless romantic things like i am and it's fine. Not all writers can write dramatic romance

Tbh, I agree. It’s a matter of opinion and there’s no one wrong in the fight of opinions. As I’ve said many times on my blog, the cringe factor varies between person to person. What someone might think is fluffy is absolutely cringey to another. What someone might think is a good amount of fluff is not enough for someone else. I’ve written a lot. And I’ve made sure to add lots of variations between the amount of romance in my stories. Indeed, some are definitely more subtle and “realistic” while others are completely cheesy and makes me gag from the amount of sugar in it lol I just think the anon should take a look at more of my stories before coming up with such a conclusive opinion.

Anonymous said: I’ve been reading your fics for over a year now and religiously follow updates every week. Why? Because they make me feel something whether it be joy from fluff or grief from angst. I’ll remember a story of yours months after I first read it and return to it just to feel those emotions again. I understand that emotional responses are usually subjective but I think that anon needs to read your works again, because they sure are missing out.

I replied to that anon that they should check out more of my fics and then come back to tell me if they haven’t changed their minds, so I don’t know if they’re missing out or not lol

I don’t expect my stories to elicit emotional responses or fanatic feedback for everyone. God knows there’s been other people’s writing styles that just didn’t resonate with me no matter how hard I tried to read their stories. But all I ask is that people try. It’s fine if you give up halfway but at least try reading. That’s fair to ask, right?

[tsukidotcom]

Haikyuu HC to COVID-19 (Karasuno edition)

This is horrible 💀 im just so bored so I made whatever this mess is KFJSJDMSK enjoy

Hinata Shouyou

huh? isn’t it just the flu?

“No, hinata. People have died from it-“

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH-

goes bananas

whenever someone sneezes or coughs, his soul leaves his body as he runs away to sanitize/wash his hands for a miserably long time.

eats an expired can of peaches thinking it’s his last resort

lowkey happy school is closed because homework sucks

but also highkey hates it because now all volleyball tournaments are closed

then gets all angry when he realizes he’d have to do online school???!!?? like wtf he got jipped.

thinks they could still do volleyball if they did online calls cus if the school can do it,, then vOLLEYBALL CAN

will probably miss half of the class calls from oversleeping/forgetting anyway.

sheepishly ask yamaguchi, yachi or tsukishima for help on assignments/notes. (he will NEVA ask kageyama. he’s always in competition with him here!)

still practices volleyball 24/7 in his backyard or room (maybe even with his baby sister??)

He’s really good at practicing all by himself from practicing all alone in middle school—

but will probably go crazy being alone all the time with his family. he just wants to play volleyball with the team again.

looks up “what to do when you’re bored” or “what to do at home while in quarantine” on youtube

Kageyama Tobio

probably says he’s immune to the corona because he’s just better than everyone else

doesn’t really think it’s real until school shut down because of it

When he sees that corona is airborne he wont know what that means so he’d probably think it’s produced by air itself?? which makes him think air is trying to kill the human race?? and will be so confused as to why it decided to pop up now???

DESPISES online school. He had enough trouble understanding it from the gecko, so now he has to learn it basically all by hiMSELF?!?

And no way is he just gona email the teacher for help. If he does it’s gonna be only once in his lifetime. Anymore than that he thinks he’s doin too much. He doesn’t want his teachers thinking he’s dumb 😭

he says literally nothing during the calls he just tries to pay attention? and fails because he’s on a computer. in his room. alone. he’s bound to daze off or stare at a pen for 5 minutes.

Obvi still practices volleyball. Very much misses it. At least Hinata had his sibling to practice with him. tobio is a lone wolf in his household.

When his mom goes out to get groceries he gives her one of those doctor masks so she doesn’t catch corona.

Few moments later through the internet he realizes that corona is smaller than air molecules so if you can breathe through something you could still get it so he struggles for an hour thinking he just killed his mother

When his mom is back he keeps his distance in case she’s carrying the plague

omg did she just cough or am i imagining things no she definitely coughed she has corona oh oh god

In reality she was just clearing her throat.

is lowkey worrying about everyone and how they are 🥺 (yes, maybe even hinata).

thinks he’s science smart by calling it covid-19 than corona.

Asahi Azumane

He just worries about everyones health

like he just imagines the worst case scenario’s and starts to get really worried if people got it. Always checks on everyone and asks if they’re feeling any symptoms of corona ❤️

He’s either not gonna get it or he gets it and dies there’s no inbetween

but he’s jesus himself so theres no way he nor anyone in his bloodline can get it

is very happy to know that dogs can’t get it.

Takes online school seriously and tries his best

And is honestly so sad school just ended??? even if it’s temporary, he could be learning, playing volleyball, and going about his day instead of staying in a cage. he’s a third year so—how would graduation even go..?

always is up to date on the news !! and notifies everyone if anything important is added/changed.

Always tells everyone to stay safe! Whether through text or before ending a call.

only buys a lot of toilet paper from the fear of there being no toilet paper in stock since evERYONE IS BUYING IT-

Starts to try new hobbies that he put off for the longest time cus quarentine is rlly getting to him.

Is all out a family guy so he doesn’t mind the extra time with his family.

Nishinoya Yu

OAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOA

420 blazin’

thinks going outside means you’re instantly gonna die from corona attacking your white blood cells (????)

but also probably doesnt care as he goes outside like everyday to run around and get rid of energy (and to practice volleyball, of course).

also why is it called white blood cells when blood is red ☠️ smh

Buys 101611018320129 bags of chips because that’s his comfort food

yay more gaming time!!!

Noya🐒: Tanaka do u wana play minecraft 2getr latr?

Tanaka🍌: HELL YEAH!!

doesn’t shower for three days straight because screw personal hygiene!! No more school!!! Can do whatever he wanted!! It’s basically summer!!!

until he’s forced to do online school.

Is def the class clown. Probably somehow kicks the teacher out of the call through a little bit of hacking.

“alright guys so i’ll be you’re substitute teacher for the day-“

tbh acts the same as he would in school. maybe a little more rebellious because, i mean, what is the teacher gonna do? send him to DETENTION? call his mOMMY?

Calls/spams literally everyone in his contacts because he’s so bored and lonely. Answer him!! Y’all will be on facetime for hours!!

He’s fun to facetime.

Will call you a loser if you don’t have an apple iPhone because then he can’t facetime you and facetiming is one of his favorite things to do to pass time (besides gaming)

HE A TRUE GAMER

Okay but he lowkey still tries at school for the sake of his grades and his future ;-; maybe calls asahi or sugawara for help??

always looks up his homework on the internet to see if he can get an answer key or something (he did that anyway even before corona but)

will do one subject for 3 hours thinking he’s finally done with everythinf till he realizes he has like 4 other subjects and needs to do those too.

Sending memes all the time

Tsukishima Kei

oh, what about corona again?

honestly could give NO fucks??. like ABSOLUTELY ZERO. nonxistent.

doesn’t even remember it’s still happening half the time.

is surprisingly very knowledgeable about corona.

he’s just smart and sciency¿ so he understands the ins and outs of corona like how it works and how its spread.

so if you tRULY want any update or background info on the corona virius, ask Tsukishima.

bitch don’t touch me you have rabies.

doesn’t care that he’s obligated to stay at home because he would have stayed either way. he very much likes being alone.

might go a little crazy cooped up in his room so he’ll hang with his brother/family or go outside before he says ‘okay that’s enough’ and goes back to his room.

isolation? oh okay *puts on headphones*

he rlly gonna be rocking it out in his room cus he can listen to music all day any day

developes a really bad sleep schedule since he had no way to get rid of the energy he got rid of at school.

still a huge tease so he says everyone has the corona virius.

is never online on social media which means he’s never up to date with his frIENDS. Doesn’t have a clue what those dipshits are doing and could care less (besides yamaguchi,, they probably facetime or call thru skype or something).

I bet the whole volleyball squad has a groupchat and honestly he puts all notifs on mute cus his phone keep goin DING DING DING DI DING ID DID IDKNG DING DIG

Brother: Omg why are you getting so many text messages?

Tsukki: Shut up

if he is online on the gc and he texts it would be simple replies like “Hi” “Okay.” “No.” “Goodbye.” and then he’s gone for another week

every first year is begging on their knees for tsukishima to give the answers or help them out and he obviously says: go do the hw yourselves idiots

besides yamaguchi!!!! again!! cus theyre gay for each other

maybe practices once in awhile with his brother or alone in his backyard but he doesn’t care

Tanaka Ryuunosuke

buys 101817 pounds of toilet paper because everyone else is? but not because of the same reason as asahi. he thinks toilet paper is the cure to corona.

GO STUPID AAAAAAAAA GO CRAZY AAAAAAAAAAA-

probably has a part time job at a grocery store so he still has to go to work 😭 i dont even know how he could have a job in the first place he’s probably always late-

still gamin with noya of course

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM IM PLAYING MINECRAFTT

also buys like all the junk food thats in stock. and since he works at the grocery store he gets a ton of coupons and deals.

texts Kiyoko everyday goodmorning ❤️❤️❤️ and goodnight 😘😘 texts just to be left on read.

“i love it when she ignores me !!!”

scrolls through tiktoks for 1000 hours to pass time

School Is For Losers!!

similar to noya, he thought it was basicaly summer until he realized they were gonna be doing online school. literally had a fit and said he didnt wanna do jack squAt

Laughs so hard when nishinoya somehow kicks the teacher out of the call he’s like laughing so loud and hard he starts crying

all of the sudden has a better view on school

gets excited when he sees nishinoya on the call

makes funny and ugly ass faces when the teacher isn’t looking. everyone laughs and the teacher’s like 🤨

probably uses the green screen effect so he can change hus background (somehow) and accidentally misclicks a file so a girl wit a bikini becomes his background for .5 seconds before changing it to a cursed meme:

doesn’t get half the shit the teacher is talking about

but it’s okay because the half he doesn’t get is the other half noya gets

and the half noya doesnt get is the orher half tanaka gets

they’re two peas in a pod 🥰

until they try explaining it to each other and suddenly get confused?? mental malfunction ¿?

yeah im SMART!!!

s -

m -

a -

r - penis

t -

Daichi Sawamura

quite calm about the whole coronavirus

like he knows it is serious and understands how it is spread but he’s still calm about it??

tells everyone to sanitize and wash hands on a regular. and social distancing!!

honestly still wakes up like he does on normal school days and does all his academics just fine.

he even does gym activities (besides volleyball) for 30 minutes to an hour!!!! he be running on that treadmil! getting stronk!

does each subject on his own for 20-40 min each day. he’s really good at self discipline

makes sure sugawara and asahi are up to date on school work and will gladly help.

sadly can’t help the first years (and probably second years) because that info is deep in his brain and basically forgot how to do it after a year or two of not using it.

VERY VERY VERY sad that volleyball nationals are cut off. this is his last year and for it to be??? gone??? just because of some flu?!?! hates it.

he wishes school to go back and still has hope that school will go back to normal in a couple of weeks (even though it’s a slim chance).

asks the teacher questions whenever he has questions. He’s also vv considerate so he’ll ask questions he knows the answer to but asks them for anyone who’s confused ab it/wants to ask but is too shy. (literally i lov daichi sm)

Eats a healthy amount of everything

asks asahi for any updates on corona even though he’s quite up to date himself. he just wanna make sure he didn’t miss anything.

also doesn’t mind being around his family. he’ll do more chores around the house to help his parents out :> he’s literally perfect wtf

def does worry about everyone in the volleyball gc and anyone else he has contact with. Will also email classmates and ask if they’re doing all right. Even away from volleyball he’s a team player ☺️✌️

Is happy for the rest of the day when asahi tells him dogs can’t get corona.

Yamaguchi Tadashi

oaoaiquqhdkoaiaagadjsiwi?

doesn’t know what to believe anymore

keeps in touch with everyone!! always online 24/7 on social media, vball gc, you name it.

Literally everyone is acting so normal why are people so calm am i the only one worrying about this and the worlds future like this year has been really bad so far for not just me but the whole nation actually the entire world honestly like war almost broke out in january and now this corona stuff is really buttering my crissont the wrong way-

Even though tsukishima literally gives No Fucks, yamaguchi is the complete opposite.

like tsukki and yamaguchi call on skype and eVERY TIME yamaguchi starts with ‘how have you been? do you feel sick at all? have you drank enough water today?’ and so on

“What are you even worrying about?”

“Well...what if you get the corona virius?... it can be deadly, you know!! Thousands of people have died from it!!! The fact school is shutting down and people are panicking is making me feel like i should be panicking-“

Tsukki will then snarkily reassure him it’s fine and people their age are the least likely to get it bad.

Yamaguchi will feel a little better afterwords

“Thank you, Tsukki!”

Tsukki will ‘tch’ it off

Even though he gets really good grades he has triuble finding motivation to do any school work?? doing school work in his own home? 😐

His home was kinda a place he can chill whereas school is a place he can be fully focused

but now his home is ALSO school??!!?

Luckily he understands the work, at least.

When he sees tsukishima on the call, too, he instantly says hello.

“Tsukki!! Hey!! 😁”

“Shut up.”

“Gomen, Tsukki.”

Yeah. Even when they aren’t at school, he’s still the same as always.

He takes extra care of his family and always stays in touch with other relatives. Especially grandpa and grandma. THE SECOND he learned elderly people are at more risk you bet your ass he’s calling them making sure they’re okay. He checks up on them everyday now.

He peobably practices volleyball a little, too. He’s more focused on schoolwork though.

Sugawara Koushi

Have you guys ate dinner yet? 🥺

obviously checking up on everyone

he would fail as a mother if he didn’t.

Actually reads in his free time?? He finally has time on his hands to read these books so.... here we are!

Wakes up at a scheduled time everyday (minus weekends. Maybe sleeps for an extra hour or so).

He dresses in pjs rather than actual clothes because he’s not going anywhere with this social distancing thing.

Always tries to lighten the mood when all the students are on the online call. Maybe crack some joke or innocently play around with the effects.

He still pays close attention in class and does quite well on his own. No help from his parents! He can do everything on his own! He a big boi!

Does homework really well, too. Probably does extra work or more work than needed just because it makes him feel good afterwords.

Honestly i can see him cooking in his free time. If he doesnt feel like reading or scrolling mindlessly through his phone, he gonna cook.

Will make the best cookies in the universe.

HAS A HECK OF A SWEET TOOTH. NOT A DAY GOES BY WITHOUT HIM GETTING HIS PRETTY HANDS ON SUM TREAT

Honestly isn’t too good with exercise so he might gain a few pounds or grow the smallest chub 🥺🥺🥺 he would be so cute omfg.

is realy involved with his family!! they play a board/card game every friday night and have the best time.

if he has a dog, cat, or literally any animal you know he’s gona be hanging with them since he has more time.

Still! Playing! Volleyball! I mean by now every boy is practicing at least a little bit. He would probably be in his backyard playing volleyball with his family. Theyy’d set up a net and everythin! They’re all rookies at it but he still cherishes the moments with them.

It’s honestly still practice. Better than nothing

He talks about how his family plays volleyball and everyone is so jealous like 😭😭 makes him more grateful hearing half the volleyball team saying they have to practice alone.

Watching youtube videos of random videos/vines making him giggling.

“Hey, Dachi, look at this video.”

IS A SWEETHEART STFU !!!

[mattygraygubler]

our campus: chapter 4 (tom holland fanfic)

summary: frat!tom and reader go to the same college and y/n is tasked with being his tutor, they don’t really get along at first (because i love reader and tom hating each other trope)

warnings: none ?????

word count: 2.1k

a/n: so many texts and so much dialogue fuckin kill me also texts are bold

for a list of characters click here

to be added to the tag list send me an ask !

masterlist

✰✰✰✰✰

“I don’t know what you did to get her to give you a second chance, but I need to warn you.” Ally said. Tom turned to look at her, they had only ever spoken when necessary for theater stuff. 

“Warn me?” He asked. 

“Y/N can make your life either very, very good or very, very bad. She has most of the professors in this school wrapped around her pinky. And she doesn’t make it obvious, but she’s the smartest person I’ve ever met. She can really help you if you let her.”

“Well, thanks.” He said awkwardly and turned back to his stuff. 

“One more thing.” Ally said. Tom turned again and raised his eyebrows. “Don’t you dare catch feelings.” “Seriously? No need to worry about that.” Ally scoffed. 

“I’m serious, Tom. Don’t. She doesn’t need that right now.” 

“Yeah, fine, I get it.” He said. 

“Alright guys let’s get started.” Gigi said, signaling rehearsal was about to start. 

* * * 

It was finally Friday, and your phone was blowing up as you walked to the library. Class had gotten out late, so you were walking as fast as possible so you wouldn’t be late to your meeting with Tom. 

Al

if Y/N is ok with it its fine with me

Iz

i still dont know how i feel about this

Em 

pretty pretty please guys i really like this guy and he really wants me to go

You

what are we talking about i was in class

Al

harrison invited em and all of us to the delt party tonight

Iz

and i said we shouldnt go bc of what happened

plus isnt tom a delt? wouldnt that be a bit awk?

You

honestly i couldnt care less. after the week ive had im gonna too blacked to even realize where we are

Em

lets take it to a vote

aye

Al

aye 

Iz

nay

You

im abstaining

Em

the ayes have it! delt BABEEEYYYY

ill have harrison put us all on the list

You 

glad we got that sorted ill see u guys at mine at 8

You walked into the library, checking your watch and seeing it was 4:02. You bit your lip. Hopefully he didn’t give you any crap for being late. 

You walked quickly into hlab, and you knew you looked like a crazy person. Your bag was falling off your shoulder, you had a coffee in your hand and your water bottle tucked under your arm, and your phone in your other hand. 

You scanned the room and saw Tom sitting across from Max, both of them had books out. 

“Hi,” you said breathlessly. Max slid over a seat so you could sit across from Tom. “So sorry I’m late, crazy day.” 

“No worries dar-” You heard him start to say darling, but stopped himself. “No worries. It’s only 2 minutes after.” 

“How long have you been waiting?” You asked.

“Max and I have been hanging out for a while, not a big deal.” 

“Speaking of, I’m on alc duty for tonight so I better go.” Max said, did his stupid handshake with Tom, and walked out. 

Hlab was almost empty except for some freshman. Most people don’t like studying on a Friday, who could blame them?

“So I got a copy of your lectures from this week. What do you want to start with?”

“I don’t care.” 

“Ok, what is currently confusing you the most?” He thought for a second before saying “Astronomy.” You nodded. 

“Great, grab your notes and your textbook.” He pulled out a notebook and his laptop, opening the online textbook. You pulled out your laptop and a pen and highlighter. 

“May I?” You asked and pulled his notebook to your side. You went through his notes, circling certain things with the pen and highlighting others. 

“These are really good, Tom. I like how you put question marks next to things that confused you.” He laughed. 

“Do I get a gold star?” He joked. You rolled your eyes. 

“So phases of the moon.” You started. 

“Wait a second,” he said after you had been talking for a while. “You’re telling me that the moon doesn’t actually, like, change?” 

“It’s all shadows.” You replied. He nodded and seemed to finally be getting it. 

“The phases will most definitely be on your next lab, which isn’t open note, so make sure you memorize them.” You said. “Let’s move onto stats.” He groaned. “What?” You asked. 

“Statistics is so stupid. Letters and numbers shouldn’t go together.” You rolled your eyes. 

“Stats is easy, I promise you. This is the first unit, all we’re doing is descriptive statistics and graphing. Let’s start with some vocab.” You said, highlighting certain words in his notes. 

Once you could see his brain was about to explode, you moved onto writing. 

“There’s not much to talk about, just email me your most recent paper so I can go through it and look for themes we need to discuss.” 

‘“Themes?” He asked. 

“You know, on going issues that need to be addressed.” He nodded and emailed you his paper, which you would read tomorrow. You heard your phone buzz and took a quick glance. 

Em

al dont be upset

Al

then dont give me a reason to get upset

what is it

Em

……….. It’s themed

Al

are you kidding? were not freshmen, i dont wanna go to a stupid themed frat party

Em

its blackout !!!! itll be fun i promise

You turned your phone back down and didn’t realize you had an upset look on your face. 

“Everything ok?” He asked. 

“Just arguing in the group chat.” 

“Do you need to go?” He asked. 

“No, no, just arguing about tonight.” 

“What’s tonight?” 

“Tonight is not related to political conflict, which is what we should be talking about.” He laughed. 

“Do you ever have fun?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“I’m serious, do you ever have fun, or do you just go to sleep surrounded by planners and textbooks.” 

“That’s not funny. There’s a lot more about me that you don’t know.” 

“Clearly.” 

“So we’re starting off with socioeconomic issues over time and the class strugle. Did you read the Marx chapters?” 

“Yup. Didn’t understand a word of it.” 

“Ok, let’s get into it.” You said and began rambling about the bourgeoisie and the communist manifesto. Politics was your favorite subject, you could talk about it for hours. 

You were having a really good discussion with Tom. It was global political conflict, and he was able to connect the themes to both America and England, which made you really pleased. 

You were pulled out of your discussion when your phone vibrated. 

Iz

pickin up panera anyone want anything 

“Jeez it’s already past 6:30, I gotta go.” You said. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He said. 

“No it’s not your fault, I get so into politics I lose track of time.” “I can tell.” He said as you both packed up your stuff. 

“Wanna grab some food?” He asked. 

“Sorry, can’t,” you said. 

“Why, got a hot date?” He joked. 

“Maybe,” you said. 

“At least let me walk you to wherever you’re going.” 

“You don’t have to do that.” 

“Well where are you going?” 

“Congression Hall?” You replied. 

“Wait, you live there?” 

“Uhm, yes? Me along with practically every other junior.” 

“What floor?” 

“8.” You said. 

“Should’ve guessed.” He replied as you started walking across the quad. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Honors 8. I forgot you were in hc.” He was referring to the eighth and top floor of Congression Hall, which was reserved for the honors college juniors. 

“Yeah.” You said simply. 

“I’m on six, by the way.” He said. “That’s why I was curious. I’ve never seen you around there.” 

“I’m not usually, I only really use it for sleep.” 

“Of course,” he replied. 

“I assumed you lived in a frat house.” You commented. 

“Nah, next year.” He said with a wink. “Speaking of frat houses, there’s kind of this party going on at Delt tonight-” 

“I’m aware.” You said, cutting him off. 

“Ah, well, if you want I can get you on the list.” You smiled to yourself. 

“No need, I’m already on the list.” You said. 

“Oh?” He said, clearly embarrassed. “Because of delta nu?” 

“Nope.” You said, not offering any other information. 

“Well maybe I’ll see you there then.” 

“Even if you do see me there, I will be pretending I don’t know you.” 

“Why?” He asked, clearly offended. “I run that house.” He joked, trying to play off the embarrassment. 

“No offense, but your reputation would not be good for mine.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Well I have a certain reputation in the greek community, and if people see me with you they’ll get the wrong idea.” 

“The wrong idea?” He asked as you walked in the lobby of your building. 

“Well, see, the thing is,” you said, stepping into the elevator. He pressed the button for six and eight. “I have certain standards. If people see me with you, they’ll think I’ve…” 

“Wow, you are really uptight, aren’t you?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Certain standards? Jesus christ, you’re not the queen, Y/N. And I don’t have a bad reputation. But god forbid I don’t live up to your ‘standards.’” He said, storming off the elevator without another word, clearly upset. You sighed. Good job, Y/N. 

Tom got to his room and threw his stuff on the floor, collapsing on his bed. His head hurt from all the tutoring, and trying to focus on not staring at your lips. 

delt juniors

Tom

aight important question guys

Cal

whats up tommy

Tom

do you guys know a girl called Y/N Y/L/N? shes a delta nu

Joey

dan knows her ;)

Cal

fuck, Y/N? what are you doing with her? 

Tom

shes tutoring me stop buggin 

Max

i know her which u know shes in hc with me 

Liam

oh danny DEFINITLY knows her 

Will

who doesnt know Y/N? shes a hot commodity

Tom

what do you mean? 

Cal

shes like the perfect girl next door, totally hot and so smart which just makes her hotter

Will

doesnt help that shes a huge fuckin flirt AND can hold her alc

Joey

dan is being suspiciously quiet……..

Dan

shut up joe

Liam

care to share with tommy your story with Y/N, daniel? 

Dan

i hate u all 

fine

i was like in love with her freshman year

and i thought she was into me too

and we made out a couple of times but nothing else

the second she found out i was in delt she stopped talking to me

like complete radio silence 

Tom

wtf? Why? 

Cal

she doesnt fuck with delts

thats like common greek knowledge

Will

maybe its because shes gonna be dchi sweetheart? 

Joey

nah theres gotta be something else

Harrison

well i just put her on the list for tonite

Tom

wait YOU put her on the list?! 

Harrison

yeah i invited her friend Emily Gold and she doesnt go anywhere without Y/N and these two other girls

Cal

Ally Park and Isabelle Miller

Harrison

yeah howd u know? 

Cal

theyre like those cool girls from high school everyones obsessed with that are just out of everyones league

Tom

wow american high schools are so weird

Dan

tom if u wanna get with her i wont be pissed

Tom

nah like you said she hates delts, and after three tutoring sessions with me i guarentee i am her least favorite delt ever

Liam

theres no fuckin way she shows up tonight

she wouldnt be caught dead at a delt party

Noah

wait you said Y/N Y/L/N may come tonight????

DIBS

DIBS DIBS DIBS

I CALL DIBS

Cal

noah u seriously show up just to call dibs?

Noah

yeah bro have u seen her? if she comes tonight and any of you try to cockblock me i stg ill deck you

Dan

pretty sure tommy has rightful dibs to this one

Tom

nah fam she hates me so fuckin much

let noah try his luck

i doubt she’ll even show

Max

she’ll show. 

Tom

what makes u say that? 

Liam

max does know her best

Max

she and ally and emily and isabelle are ride or die. they circulate who picks what party they go to and if its emilys turn and harrison somehow conviced her to go, Y/N wont miss it

Dan

she hasnt set foot in a delt house since freshman year, you seriously think she’ll show? 

Max

five bucks says she does

Dan

youre on 

Noah

i just wanna make it clear

that if she does show

D I B S

[mistymark]

the one with the annotations.

dong sicheng x reader // 3.7k words // masterlist // send requests here

summary; in which sicheng keeps writing in the books at the library and it should be obvious but that’s,,, not,,, allowed???

warnings: none its just fluff, theres some humour if u like,, squint

requested; yes :D - “Enemies to lovers 👀 with sicheng? Love your writing btw 💕” from anon

notes; based on this prompt: ”You’ve got to stop returning books full of corrections and spiteful comments in red pen bc I can’t stop reading them and my boss gives me disapproving glares when I laugh at the funny ones

ohhhhh boi

so while you were at uni you had a part time job at the library

because surprise surprise as a lit major you like books

shocker there

you always tried to work the late shifts, closing up and doing the returns

just because it was easy and relaxing organising and restacking the books

but soon you wished you took the earlier shifts

because of dong sicheng

not to be dramatic but

your long rival

he started coming to the library to borrow books

because that’s kind of the point of a library

but he ended up liking the environment for studying

and would stay there for hours just to study

and you’d admire his hardworking nature

if he left on time, that is

you would do the rounds ten minutes before closing

just to tell everyone like

‘hey, we’ll be closing in around ten minutes if you want to begin packing up’

but this bitch

would nEVER PACK UP ON TIME

you’d end up standing at his table with your bag and the keys in your hand

tapping on the wood to try and get his attention

and him slowly packing up afterwards

even tho he kNOWS you want to go home

‘you’re just as slow as you were in kindergarten hey?’

and he’d be so furious

‘you know you cheated’

‘I don’t remember any such thing’

and maybe you did maybe you didn’t

you were like four years old

as if you’d remember a race you won when you were that age

he just rolls his eyes and leaves as you lock the doors

you leave in the other direction

happily leaving him behind

but he stops by every Monday Tuesday and Thursday night to study

which are the days you work as well

he acts like it’s just part of his schedule 

but he worked out if he came in on Wednesday’s he didn’t have the opportunity to annoy you

and honestly?

annoying you at the end of your shift and after a long session of studying was the highlight of his night

but he keeps borrowing books

and you’re like

whatever

until he borrows this new book you’ve been wanting to read for ages

and you were low-key so bitter

this lil bitch has no way of knowing you wanted that book but somehow he does and that’s the only reason he’s borrowed it

even though,, he literally had no idea lmao

tbh u probably would have wanted to talk to him about the books he reads bc u have very similar taste

okay the same taste

but he’s such an asshole ur like nah fam

anyways he returns it after a week

boy reads fast ok

and when he goes to drop it in the returns box

you just take it from his hand and scan it under your name straight away

and put it under the desk so no one else can borrow it

and when there’s a lull in the work at the library

you reach under the table for the book and rifle through it

and you notice a few pencil marks

and upon further inspection you realise they’re comments referencing certain parts of the book

and you do nOT stand for vandalism

but some of them are fuckin hilarious not gonna lie

on the page you just happened to open

you can see there’s a comment beside a passage of text depicting a fight scene

‘this would kill someone wtf’

and u laugh and wonder who had done this

like the book had only been out for a little while

and u finish it in just less than a week

bc u read a lot during your shifts

probably a lot more than you should tbh

and seriously the comments made the book better

you hadn’t laughed so hard at random commentary so much

like the words were exactly what you were thinking

you couldnt help it

while ur putting some of the books back in the middle of your shift

!!!! you see another book that u might like !!! 

not to judge a book by its cover butttttttt

it looks like ur type oop-

and after flipping through it

to get an idea of font size and chapter length cause ur a whole nerd like that

u see it ALSO has pencil markings

in the borders and underlining sentences

and without even thinking u borrow it

just to read the funny comments again

and ur boss comes up to you during your shift and is like

‘have you seen someone’s been writing in the books? look at this’

and thrusts a book in ur face

and ur like ??????? okay chill I’ll look

and u read the writing she’s pointing at

the familiar loopy handwriting adorning the page

and it says ‘I hope she throws her drink in his face’

when u read the paragraph for context

u realise it’s a confession scene

a few lines down the mystery person has written ‘called it.’

and u can’t help but laugh

like come on that was funny

but ur boss doesn’t agree

she just asks you to find out who’s doing it so they can be suspended from the library

or charged with vandalism

or something

she wants vengeance

u roll ur eyes and go to one of the staff computers

scrolling through the lists of borrowers for that specific book

and it’s a fuckin library that book has been borrowed a loT

2031 times ???????????????

you almost fall of your chair tbh

then someone clears their throat in front of u

and u immediately apologise as u try and get the right tab up to process the borrower’s book

but once u look at the person in front of u

you wish you hadn’t been so nice

sicheng stands in front of you

a grin on his face as he hands you another book

smug bitch is so happy he startled u

‘looking at porn on the library computer, yn?’

u laugh

‘I’m not u in 8th grade’

he glares at you as he takes his book and goes back to his desk to continue studying

u were soooo hoping he’d leave

even tho u kinda enjoyed looking at him

like dude was hot okay

what were u supposed to do????

ur actual job????

please.

so he stays

and when it’s ten minutes til closing

u go and let everyone know

and u stop at sichengs table

and he’s writing out notes or something

idk it’s not like u care anyway lol

but he’s lowkey frustrated bc he keeps messing up this one goddamn formula

so he erases it

and that’s when u catch a glimpse of his handwriting

and bruh am I high or is that the exact same handwriting as in the books

I mean he has borrowed a few of the books

and he’s into that genre

not that you've checked out his borrowed list or anything

basically ur having this whole conversation with yourself in your head

bc ur cool like that

and he’s like ????? why this bitch standing over my shoulder and watching me write out this equation

until he’s like ‘what are u doing’

and ur like !!!!! oh hi !!! sorry I was busy listening to the voices in my head lmao xD

jk jk

‘have u been writing in the books’

and suddenly he’s super shy

and he has this massive grin

and he’s like ‘no’

bitch we know it was u stfu

u roll ur eyes and ur like ‘its not funny my boss wants you to be suspended’

he squints at you

‘how do you even know it was me’

and then:

‘DO YOU HAVE E V I D E N C E’

and u cross your arms

like a badass bitch

and ur like ‘I have plenty of evidence actually’

‘for one, youve borrowed all the books that have been found with writing’

‘and your handwriting matches’

subconsciously he covers his notebook with his arm to hide his handwriting

and he's like ‘why are u telling me this’

you're taken aback by the question tbh

like ?????? to be a good person ??????

idk u fuckwit just wanted to warn you

‘thought you'd want to know’

and he just turns back to his book

and you shrug and walk away like ok get suspended then see if I care

but u do :((

but as you walk away hes like

‘wait’

‘Im gonna be suspended??’

and u nod like ye that's what I just said but ok

‘like I cant borrow or I cant come in at all?’

u don't know tbh

‘both I think?’

and suddenly there's panic in his eyes

another person walks past u and thanks u

and u mindlessly tell them to have a good night as they leave

everyone has left

except sicheng of course

that beautiful son of a-

wait why did u say beautiful

‘what can I do to nOT get suspended??’

and u shrug bc idk dude not my problem

but then u think about it

‘I mean if u get rid of the evidence theres no way u can be suspended, right?’

and he seems so happy at the thought

‘would you help me? please?’

and ur sooooooo skeptical

‘depends. what do u want to me to do?’

‘I mean I need access to the books so’

‘yeah ill let u in and out’

‘I can't exactly just erase the markings when people could be watching’

and that's exactly how you end up sitting in the library with dong sicheng at 11pm at night rifling through books to find odd pencil markings to erase

it wasnt that hard

u just got his record up

*snorts* ‘you borrowed ‘how to talk to girls’ when we were thirteen’

and he just rolled his eyes and marched to the computer like ‘you can see my record I deserve to see yours’

and ur like NOOOOOO nononononono

but later

‘you've read all the light-fighter novels??’

he looks at you from where hes searching for one of the books on the list, an eyebrow raised

‘yeah why’

‘dude,, I loved those books’

and he smiles a little

‘thats where I started marking the books tbh, every time I read it id add a little cross in the corner of the cover bc I read it so often’

part of u is a little impressed

the other is annoyed at how similar your taste in books is

but the first part keeps asking why u hate him so much

other than the staying late and the snarky comments

which you actually find kinda funny-

anyways

once you've gathered up a few of the books

like at least ten each

you sit on the floor of the childrens section

beanbags sprawled out beneath you as u read through some of the books

most of them you've read before

and every time you giggle at something hes written his smile gets a little bigger

but of course youre looking at the book so you dont notice

and he keeps his head down

‘is it bad that im hungry’

you lift your head from the book to look at sicheng

hes not even reading anymore hes just lounging back on the beanbags

and maybe he'd been watching u read

watching as the smile on your face grew wider at his commentary

‘I didnt see you leave tonight. have u eaten?’

you furrow your brows in thought, trying to recall having seen him leave

‘you been watching me, y/n?’

‘have you been eating, sicheng?’

and there's something about the way you say his name that makes his heart jump

his voice is soft as he looks at you in the dark

‘no’

you focus back on the book in front of you

‘finish whatever book youre on and we’ll call it a night’

‘what, you wanna go eat?’ 

you cant tell if hes just surprised or if hes hopeful

or something else

‘no but I do want to sleep’

you laugh and he forces a laugh too

you dont notice the difference

when you've returned all the books

he meets you at the front door as you grab the book you'd been reading that shift

hes just standing by the door on his phone

and maybe its bc ur tired or maybe its just him

but u cant help thinking

Jesus Christ this boy is attractive

and okay maybe u had a crush on him a few years ago

but hey! you were eleven what could u do

the crush still lasted like two years tho lmao

but u shoulder your bag and open the door for him

making sure to lock it carefully

and he walks with you in the direction of your apartment

and ur like oh u live this way too?

and hes like nah

but what kind of boy would he be if he didnt accompany home

like christ y/n u could be h u r t out here at this time of night

but you just smile at him bc wow thats ??? actually ??? kinda sweet

‘who are u and what have u done with dong sicheng’

and there goes his heart again

he just nudges u with his elbow 

and u laugh at him and continue on ur way

when u get to ur building he thanks u for ur help in the most polite way possible

and u can kind of see that hes actually rlly nice ??? how ???

but hes back at the library the next day

and of course he comes up to the counter as soon as he spots you

sneaking around a few desks so u dont hear him come up behind you to whisper ‘BOO!’ in your ear

you jump like three feet in the air and spin around to tell him to get out from behind the desk

‘I dont see a nametag on u that means u have to be on THAT side of the desk thank u very much’

‘didnt realise your name tag said bitch on it geeeez y/n ://’

and u just fix him with a glare once hes finally on the right side

‘are u borrowing a book or not’

‘nuP’

he leans on the desk

his eyes staring straight into yours

‘just wanted to ask if u were able to stay back tonight’

you roll ur eyes

you'd barely gotten any sleep last night

but the look of concern on his face when he realises youre hesitating makes you nod

‘of course,, wouldnt want my least favourite person to get kicked out’

‘I always knew you had a soft spot for me’

you roll ur eyes aGAiN

‘go bother someone else’

‘oh is the hot librarian in?’

you push him away from the desk

but he doesnt miss the faint smile on ur lips

‘sicheng dont make me give you $100 in overdue book fees’

he sticks his hands up at the threat, his eyes wide

‘no. please. ill do anything’

when u raise an eyebrow at him, he just grabs the book you'd been reading (and not yet borrowed) and walks away

and he winks too

u have to stop your heart from beating out of its chest

and later

its 8pm and the library is officially closing

and for the past three hours you'd been walking to sicheng’s desk and subtly been trying to steal your book back

but every single time hes seen you coming

and pulled the book under the desk or into his lap

away from your grabbing hands

every. single. time.

you tap your foot impatiently at him when its time to continue ur undercover project

and he smiles down at his notebook when he hears u huff in annoyance at him

he dramatically looks up at you

‘do you need something?!’

‘do you want to get suspended?!’

he narrows his eyes at you but stands up anyway

he carefully puts his things in his bag and takes the list of books from your hands

a few of them are already crossed out as having been checked and erased

but theres still a lot to go

it takes you almost three weeks to finally get to the last day

and it had been the same thing every time;

sicheng took forever to pack up

you'd eventually find about ten books each

sit in the children’s section

laugh and chat about your lives while you went through the books

tease each other

and when you'd finished,

he'd walk you home

every single time

without fail

it became a habit that on the Tuesdays he'd stop by on his way to his morning class to drop coffee off for you

because he'd kept you up the night before

and it became easy to lose track of time with sicheng

he was just so engaging

there was no part of you that felt bored or uncomfortable with him

yeah he was annoying and infuriating

but his good book taste made up for it

and his annotations in the margins of the books too

‘is this the last of them?’

he squints down at the page again, counting the books on the table again

its the third time hes counted

‘surely ive read more than this’

‘not from this library ://’

you blow your hair out from your face and look down at the pile

‘you know, I think my manager is starting to get really suspicious of me’

‘why’ he looks up briefly from his book to read your face

but you try and remain calm

‘well she only told me about the markings right. and now theyre disappearing’

he looks at you like ?????

‘well she knows ive been closing up late... I think she thinks I did it’

he laughs ‘you? has she met you?’

you pout and throw a pillow at him

‘HEY! what's that supposed to mean :((’

‘it means ive never met someone who's so protective over books as you’

you think about it, chewing ur bottom lip

‘lets just finish this’

‘do u want to get food after’

he surprises you with the sudden question

and the slight nervousness thats evident on his face really makes you want to say yes

but you have a class tomorrow

and you always try and finish up here earlier on a Thursday night

‘cant :((’

he nods and goes back to readng

theres silence for a while

but you find it comfortable

sicheng on the other hand, feels as though hes just been shot down

like

you just turned down his date

you've kinda noticed hes more reserved now

quiet

but rlly hes just kind of embarrassed

until u say something that gives him hope

‘I,, uh, I dont have plans tomorrow night’

and ngl boy is stunned

‘just if u wanted to go see a movie or something idk’

now its ur turn to be embarrassed

u hope ur hair is hiding ur face as u look back down at the book in ur lap bc no doubt ur blushing

but sicheng is just staring at you

and

before even saying anything

he leans over the gap between you

with all the books

and hovers in front of your face

ur so shocked and ur heart is beating way too hard and fast and ur breathing is too quick to be normal are you having an attack I dont know-

and then he leans forward a little bit more

and his lips meet yours

and suddenly its like a fireworks display went off inside you

and then its almost midnight on a Thursday night and ur sitting in the children's section of your workplace in the beanbags with sicheng cupping ur face and kissing you

he just really needed to kiss you

like more than he needed air

and when u finally pull back

he loves how breathless you are

how you have to fight to keep the smile off your face

how you stare at him with wide eyes

‘so its a date then?’

you blush even redder

and nod

‘ye its a date :))’

but for the next fifteen minutes you sit in stunned silence together

small smiles playing on your faces

until u look at your watch and ur like

‘shit sicheng I have to go’

and his eyes widen bc holy crap u were supposed to leave like half an hour ago

so u both sprint around the library trying to put all the books back

and he meets you at the door again after you've grabbed the keys and made sure everything that needed to be locked was,,, u know,, locked

and when ur walkign to the door again

hes on his phone

u cant see but hes texting his friends about what happened lmao what a softie

and when u walk out together

without thinking he grabs your hand

and u walk home

hand in hand

after midnight

he clears his throat

‘so uh,, when actually is our date’

‘my last class ends at 5-’

‘so 5 it is’

‘are u sure??’

he nods happily

and he presses a gentle kiss to ur forehead when u get to ur doorstep

‘ill see u tomorrow’

but the next day

when u come out of your last class

a little giddy

a little too excited

and see him leaning against one of the stone pillars

effortlessly handsome

you feel your heart flip

and maybe ur just tired or maybe its him

but hes really attractive

like really really attractive

its actually just that youre in love with him

he doesnt see you coming

too focused on something on his phone

but he definitely sees you when you push his hand out to the side and step onto ur toes to kiss him

and u can feel him smile a little as he kisses you back

‘ready for that date?’

‘yeah, where are we going’

‘so I was thinking we could go to the libra- HEY! dont hit me I was j o k i n g y/n jesus christ’

[trekkiehood]

Do you really think the lockdown and concern around the coronavirus is a scam? What about the serious risk it poses to the very young or old, people who are immunocompromised, and people who already have serious health conditions?

Ok, so here's the thing. We KNOW that many outlets are reporting wrong numbers. Every projection has ben seriously wrong. People say its because of the lockdown, but I know for a fact that many big gatherings have had little no break outs. I had a friend get it. He almost died. He was also in a van full of people a couple days before he was in the hospital. None of them got it.

Also, news outlets are reporting that there are Corona Virus spikes DAYS after beaches open and people protest. But... the incubation period is 2 weeks, so how could that be in effect only 2 days later?

As for the immune compromised, I'm immune compromised. I have several health problems that could cause me to die if I get Corona. Therefore, it would be wise for me to take the necessary percautions, which I have.

Any doctor who has said anything against what is popular has been shut down. Their videos are being deleted, they are being fired, if it's just a bunch of idiots saying wrong things, why is it being taken down? They arent saying anything bad. They are just speaking their oppinion and in many cases reading facts and numbers. Why are the videos being deleted? What happened to freedom of speech?

And while I understand the point of the initial lockdown, we are past that. Governors are taking it to ridiculous levels. Things dont add up.

Why cant I independently move between my homes but I can go buy alcohol? Why cant I garden at my home? Why is walmart essential and farmers markets are dangerous?

Things don't add up.

My biggest thing is, while some people are vulnerable, many arent. Many can go back to their jobs but the governemt says no.

If you are immune compromised or even just scared for no reason other than you don't want to get it, please stay home. Take care of yourself. Do everything you possibly can.

If you are well and are not concerned about the virus, you should be able to go out.

If I go out and you stay in, I wont hurt you. If I get it, I'm the idiot and your still safe in your home.

Then comes the economy. I can hear it now "all you care about is the economy! You want people to die!"

No.

I want to save people.

Did you know that between January and the lockdown, more people had died of starvation then of Covid? Now, people who were struggling are nearly destitute.

They've lost everything.

Even if they work at an essential business their hours are being cut back. People are suffering.

I don't care all that much about the economy. I care about the people and children who are starving.

And people dying?

You mean the increased suicide rates?

Or maybe the increase in domestic violence?

Or the fact that children's in abusive homes are trapped their and legally not allowed to leave?

People are hurting.

People will continue to hurt.

I don't want people to die.

But if you stay in your home and I go out to feed my family I'm the one at risk.

This is going to hurt so many people. This is going to leave so many people destitute and struggling. This is going to cause people depression to spike.

You can blame the system or capitalism or whatever you want, but that's not helping people right now.

It's a no win situation really.

But the goal of lockdown was to keep the hospitals from being overwhelmed.

The hospitals are nearly empty.

When will it be good enough?

The virus will never be irradicated.

We have to restart life at some point.

Plus, the only way to gain an immunity to viruses is exposure. Its science. That's why the Native Americans died when Europeans came over. They weren't previously exposed to the sicknesses. They hadn't built up an immunity. (I know this is not the only thing that killed them, but it was one of them.)

I harbour no hard feelings towards those who want to stay inside. I think you should. I think the government should continue to assist.

I also think people are hurting and not going out will cause a whole lot of problems now and later.

I hope this explains my position and I didnt come across to harsh. It is simply an opinion!

God bless!

[th3okamid3mon]

The Lighthouse,  somehow charming to disturbing [SPOILERS]

What happens when you have 2 man inside an isolated house? NOTHING GOOD! NOTHING. GOOD. AT ALL! 

Sinopsis: 

2 lighthouse keepers are doing 4 weeks shift at an isolated and mysterious island in New England while fighting the desires to succumb into insanity. The tension between them grows as time passes, even though they can no longer decipher the time of day. 

Photography, sound and edition: 

BOI, WHERE DO I BEGIN!? OH I KNOW! THE CAMERA. The first thing that intrigue me about this movie is the black and white and that it´s shot in 1. 19:1 (For those who don´t know what that means, its the dimensions you see the movie, for example: a widescreen television in full hd would be 16:9). Seriously, this could possibly fool someone into thinking it´s an old movie, a literal movie from the 1930´s or 40´s. But NOPE! ITS FROM THIS CENTURY! BUT WAIT! THERE´S MORE! 

SO! It was shot using a Panavision Millenium XL2, which it still uses film. Some people think movies are shot with digital cameras now days and that film is completely obsolete. Well, a couple movies have been shot with film and in color. Film can and does have a really good quality, a lot of directors still like to use film to shoot the movies and then transfer the movie to digital. Some directors digitalize the movie, edits it and then imprints it in film! A mexican cinematographer called Gerardo Barroso explain in a conference in 2012 at the FIC UABC (International Film Festival UABC) how he does that because he liked the film more than the digital due to certain details it gives, specially to the colors and general shots, one of the movies shoot completely in film was 2011 Los Ultimos Cristeros. 2011. Let that sink in.  Back to The Lighthouse, this movie was film with Eastman Double X film, this type of film is only in black and white and they also used a custom filter to give the stylization you see here:

They also used a vintage , 1930´s Baltar Lens to give it more the old fashion movies style. This people went full on for the ¨super¨ old aesthetic. 

It looks completely like a 40´s or 50´s movie, but the sound gives it away as a modern film. The shots used were also kind of vintage or old; lots of use of closeups, really open general shots of the lighthouse and the sea, several shots to fill in the spots. Those filler shots are actually used for a very bad trip Robert Pattinson´s character has, imagining having sex with a mermaid and being tangled into octopus and then coming out of conscious not realizing whether he is in the past or in the present. 

The photography works really well in representation the absurdly, horrifying isolation the characters feel and the imagery becomes grotesque with the characters as they become even more aggressive and insane. 

One thing that isn´t as appreciated or doesn´t seem as appreciated is the sound design. Not only the music, all the sounds. The deafening sound of the alarm, the motor that powers the light, the sound of the waves as they turn from calm and relaxing to roaring with fury as if god himself was punishing this men for existing. Every single sound is done with care, nothing was out of place nor excessive. You could say certain sounds become annoying like the seagulls or the alarm but that´s the point. You are experiencing the same annoyances as the characters, you have to know what (at least one of them) they are going through in that isolated place. There´s nothing! Nothing. No other people. Only this old farty man and the seagulls and the sea. And when you are trapped for 4 weeks only listening to that, it can drive anyone insane. 

The editing is energetic, taking care of how every shot works for every moment. At the beginning there´s this unknowing feeling because we dont know the place, the character we follow (Robert Pattinson´s) is walking around, getting to know the place. We see it being a slow edit, it has slow moments, just getting used to the place. As time pass, we can see quicker shots, they dont stay in screen for a long time. There´s more cuts, quicker cuts. When you want a succumbing to insanity sensation of course you need the actors to act and the art design to be showing part of the story and the sound, but timing is important. if you leave a shot too long, it will mean something completely different. It was careful with each and every shot, and the timing was spot on, leaving just the appropriate amount of time to see what was going on and confuse the living shit out of everyone when the characters were tripping horribly. 

Art design:

Every department in a movie is highly important, in this case it was crucial. A lot of investigation must have been done to get the proper clothes, specially if it was gonna be filmed in black and white. You CANNOT use whatever clothes in whatever color, you have to make sure those colors aren´t too dark or too bright, if they are too dark there will be sub-exposure, if they are too bright there will be over exposure. It had to be in a specific palette to make sure the film doesnt fuck up. Not only did they had to search what kind of clothes were used in 1890, but also what the building was made of, the boats, the materials, the food, what did they eat? what did they drink? in what did they drink? HOW DID THEY GO TO THE BATHROOM? Everything was thought out. 

There were certain things like the make up or special effects that kind of confused me, it wasn´t until there was blood involve that caught my attention. In certain scenes the blood is in gray tones, but then when more blood is involve it turns into black, not dark gray, completely black. It strike me a lot. 

SPOILERY, IT INVOLVES PART OF THE END, SKIP IT IF YOU WANT: there´s a part where William Dafoe´s characters turns or is viewed as a octopus and starts spewing ink. Robert Pattinson´s Character is covered in blood as he hits this character and it looked grayish, but when he goes into the lighthouse his face is completely black. I don´t know if it was on purpose, i think it was part of his delusion and hallucination. It popped too much and it was almost out of nowhere. 

All and all, it was done amazingly, they did amazingly with the design of the house and the lighthouse. They dodge a bullet with the boat, i bet that would´ve been a lot more work to design or try to get. I mean, they still got a boat but they only did closeups and really limited view shots, there was no way you could see the boat completely and say if it was a modern model or an old model. The dirt and filthiness gross me out, i left the movie theater feeling filthy and gross, not only for how it looked but also for what I saw. 

Writing and Characters:

As I said before, the film has the vintage, oldy but goody look and aesthetic. That´s really clear, but you have no idea what I meant. They really went full on the look and the writing. Hearing this two actors talk reminds me so much of an old movie. They talk too much! They spew a lot of sentences that sometimes don´t mean much? I mean, William Dafoe´s character talks like a sailor, because he is one and talks with riddles or just rhymes sometimes. At first glance they dont mean much, but if you paid attention to all he says it´s all foreshadowing for the cruel and awful finale. 

The way they speak gets you back, it´s nothing you´ve heard before, by that I mean you would never hear anyone talk somehow like this. I dont think sailors talk like this anymore unless its for a gag. ¨Ya´hear?¨ ¨Ay, sir!¨ ¨YER A FILTHY BASTERD¨ ¨YER NOTHING BUT A DAWG¨. The accents gives a bit more of what era they are in, the writing itself does it though. 

Man, oh man! My filthy pair of sexually charged man. This two are GONE. Or at least William Dafoe´s is. You have an old, obsess man who loves the light and refers to it as his wife; he spews about his life in the sea and eventually you start to think whether that man is just bark and no bite or bite with no bark. Did I mention this man is hella superstitious? Thing he tells the other guy? ¨You better not mess with the ´gulls. They are the spirits of sailors died at sea¨.  He´s been alone for a while and his last second in command was described as dead and mad. HMMM.... Weird! And then you have the new second in command, new, responsible, hard working and has this mysterious vibe, something he is keeping to himself which is eating him from the inside out (if you get it, you get it). 

There´s not much you can decipher from this two. They start as just two man in a lighthouse, one is the boss the other a subordinate, nothing more nothing less. Then they become a bit more friendly to each other, but its more of a job friendly type of thing since it is a job they have to do. Tension begins to boil up when they discover they are alone and isolate for who knows how long due to the boat of provisions not coming after the 4 weeks. This characters dont develop much in the story and that´s fine. Both are not exactly thrilling, it´s what they do that becomes interesting. William Dafoe´s character is shown as gross, apathetic, strict and superstitious as well as stubborn but becomes a little more sympathetic. Why? Because we then know Robert Pattinson´s character a not more. He is (probably) a murderer, he took the lighthouse job with other name because he was a wanted man? and he was escaping his old life. He was already deranged when he got there, he had more probabilities of killing anyone. And then we discovered, the old man had killed before! So non of them are likeable, can be charismatic but not good at all. 

The plot is simple, the characters show emotions and certain 3Dimensionality but since they become even more of an asshole we kind of top caring about what happen to them. I guess the ending is more of delight to audience since we see them both get punish. Then again, I feel more bad about the old man than the new guy. He was an asshole in secret and ended up being an outed asshole. 

Conclusion: 

All and all, this movie is not for everyone. It has a nice pace and it´s interesting. The plot is simple, almost non-existent, what intrigues is the whole eeriness of the place and the situation that becomes super explosive really quick, it´s not a bad thing it´s more of a wake up alarm that hits you with a bat. It has quite the graphic imagery (sex, nudity, masturbation, animal killing in a VERY GRAPHIC AND HORRIFYING WAY, I HOPE IT WASN´T A REALLY ANIMAL MY GOD) that I dont think its for shock value, i think each have a reason to be and I understand it, it doesn´t mean it was shocking and disturbing though. Something I also didn´t expect was the chemistry between William Dafoe and Robert Pattinson, they work really well. Their acting was spot on and well done. Robert Pattinson has done other acting jobs, unfortunately some of those are from really bad movies which is a shame cause his acting is phenomenal. Thank god for this movie,  not to discredit Dafoe but the one shining is Pattinson. 

It is like a love letter to the film making from back in the old days, it could become a good stylization. A lot of movies with this old backgrounds are emerging and I dont see it as a bad thing though I can see it a bit of a problem. I feel it´s saying ¨The old days were better¨ but then again, what era hasn´t done that? Oh wait, the ones where vaccines didnt exist... In all seriousness, this could potentially inspire people to use the old gears or at least achieve this type of aesthetic to tell a story, it´s saying ¨IM NOT OBSOLETE YET, AND I WILL MAKE SURE OF IT¨ Film is an old material to use but it obviously shows it´s still kicking... for now. 

I do recommend it if you like thrillers, it is really eery, it is full of tension and gives you a weird claustrophobic and isolated sensation. 

NOTE: I´d say no minor should watch this, but I feel they would only want to watch it more, here i go though:  If you are a minor, SERIOUSLY, DONT. it depicts graphic deaths, graphic explicit sex scenes and general grossness, they were from the 1890, don´t expect them to be or act clean. I walk out of the movie theater feeling gross and dirty, never felt that way before after watching a movie like this one. 

Sincerely not delusional, TOD.

P.S: Watch kitten or dog videos to ease the utter disgust and disturb sensation of watching a man grab a bird from the throat and stomping it into a rock for at least 2 minutes straight. 

[otherthingsinhead]

My Girl

Pairing: Reader x Javier Peña

Warnings: language / smut

Request: @technicallykawaiisoul 

Can I request a Javier Peña x reader fanfic, maybe she's a famous detective from another country and she starts to work with Javi & Steve, and maybe Steve teases Javi about her and maybe a lit fluff & smut😉

“What was that?”

“What?”

“You’ve just volunteered your weekend for shopping. You really wanna pick and choose curtains and pillows with Y/N?”

“Yeah, she just came to the city and needs to make her apartment more like home. And I need some sheets and stuff in my place too.” Javier said under his mustache causing Steve to chuckle so hard he nearly spat his coffee across the table.

“Your sheets are changed often, huh?” He laughed but Javi just shook his head, grinning.

“You won’t rest until you get into her panties, will you?”

“It might surprise you but I don’t get laid with every woman I find attractive.”

“Attractive? You find Y/N attractive?! I think there's a better way of putting it.” Steve said teasingly. Javier’ eyes widened and the first time since you left the office, his heart began to race.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked trying not to sound desperate.

“You can’t deny it forever you have a crush on her.”

“Fuck off, Murphy!” Javier scoffed putting a cigarette into his mouth. He didn’t realize his feelings for the beautiful, new member of their team were so obvious.

“Oh, c’mon Javi, you look like a little boy seeing a puppy every time she enters the room.” Steve continued as Javier took his jacket and showed him a middle finger as a response.

“Where are you going?”

“Out.”

“I hope you don’t have much plans for tonight!”

“Why?”

“Connie wants you to come over for dinner.”

“That’s kind but...”

“It’s ok, no pressure. Then we’ll be just the three of us.”

“Three?”

“Connie, I and Y/N.”

“She invited Y/N too?”

“And she said happily yes.”

“Maybe I can... cancel the... thing.” Javi mumbled but his words died in Steve’s giggling.

Javier denied his feelings for you. He convinced himself it was only physical attraction even after he found himself thinking about you day and night and started to find excuses to see you. Living in the apartment next to yours made it easy to knock on your door any time of the day and ask for some milk or a little help in the kitchen.

He never got enough of you. How could he? You were beautiful, sharp-witted, funny and wise. He loved your enthusiasm for your work and adored how much you cared for the people of this country. But his favorite thing about you was your laughter because it sent the most warming feelings through his chest melting his heart utterly.

The need of finding Escobar has never been so urgent since he started killing people. You couldn’t bear the weight of responsibility and the only thing always helped was Javi. His embracing arms brought comfort to your distressed soul after a shocking news of someone’s death. Your partnership quickly grew into a friendship what you needed so much in that foreign, chaotic country.

Friendship. You were friends and it was something you had to remind yourself from time to time. Since the first time you met Javier, you had an amiable feeling towards him. His smile was unbearably adorable and whenever he gave you a tiny bit of smile your stomach fluttered uncontrollably. The combination of his charismatic charm and desirable features was dangerous enough in itself but the small compliments and light physical contacts he gave you made your heart want to jump out of your chest. It took all your strength to keep your calmness around him. You’ve heard the rumors about his sexual life and albeit you’ve never seen his so-called girlfriends you could imagine him as a womanizer.

Connie wasn’t a notable cook but she did a great job with the dinner. And honestly, that macaroni was the best thing had happened with you on that week. It was so relaxing to sit around with friends and talk about everything but narcos.

After the third drink, you felt your head dizzy a little bit and sitting next to Javier just made it worse. He was in a flirty mood too and you couldn’t deny how much you enjoyed his attention.

“Ok guys, I have to ask.” Connie stated after drinking up her glass of red. “Is there something between the two of you? Are you guys dating or something?” She asked causing Steve to chuckle into his drink.

“What?” She blinked between her husband and the gaping guests. “Aren’t they look cute together?!”

“No, Connie, there’s nothing between Y/N and I. Nothing more than friendship, right?” Javier said looking down at you. He seemed so calm and it made your uneasiness to grow.

“Yes! Exactly. I mean... Javi and I?! Seriously?” You giggled.

“Uh... Am I not good enough for you?” Javier smiled, his voice almost scolding.

“No, I... Sorry, I-I just can’t imagine having a date with you, like... you know.... I mean... Can you imagine?” The words came stuttering out of your mouth, hands trembling and wine swirling nervously in your glass. For a moment it seemed like the air was soo thick with silence you could barely breathe.

“Uh... I think she means you’re partners and dating with each other would be unprofessional.” Steve's voice came as a joyful surprise. “Ok, sweetheart can we get to the dessert instead of making our guests uncomfortable?”

“Actually, I’m full and I still have some work to do so...” Javier said exchanging a look of understanding with Steve. “Thanks for the lovely dinner but if you don’t mind I would just take my leave.”

It wasn’t until Javier left the room that you realized how much you hurt him. And it felt horrible. After the dessert, you went downstairs to your apartment and walking by Javier’s door you felt a strong urge to knock on it. But you didn’t.

Sleep didn’t come. You turned and curled in your bed thinking about the events of the night. The pleasant feelings of Javier’s arm around your shoulder, his voice in your ears, his smile! And then the look on his face when you said you wouldn’t date with him. Even if it was only theoretical. But was it though?

Since you couldn’t bring yourself to sleep you decided to go to the kitchen for some water but soon you found yourself on the cold corridor of the building with a solid decision in your mind to knock on Javier’s door.

A huge wave of embarrassment swept through your body as you were standing in front of his door, waiting for him to open it. You wished he didn’t hear your knocking. He did.

“Y/N?” A frightened look on Javier’s face as he opened the door and find you standing there barefoot, in a nightgown. “What happened? Are you ok?”

“Yes, Yes, I... I... I’m sorry, I shouldn’t wake you up, I just... I couldn’t sleep, because... well, you know I... I know I hurt you with my words and, and, and I just wanted to tell you, I don’t think you’re not worthy of dating, actually... I-I-I think you’re a really kind guy and have a lovely personality and I’m sure you’d be an amazing boyfriend and, and, and... And I am sorry and... and that’s all.” You swallowed.

“Y/N, you came back in the middle of the night to tell me you would date me?”

“Yes... No! I just, just wanted to apologize.” You said but felt your cheeks burn like hell because you both know it wasn’t the truth.

Javier’s frown faded giving way to his eyes to shine. The last thing you saw was an adorable half-smile plastering on his mouth, then you closed your eyes and clung to his neck, pressing your lips onto the smirk. The strong arms instinctively found their ways around the small of your back, keeping you close to his unclothed upper body.

His kiss was sweet and soft and you fully lost yourself in it missing the moment when he pulled you into his apartment and closed the door behind you. His hands still lingered upon your hips, holding you steady against the door as he deepened the kiss causing your body to override with the pleasure his tongue was giving you. Oh, what a wonderful kisser he was! A small whimper of disappointment left your throat when he pulled away.

“I wanna take you to my bedroom.” He confessed. Dark lust shone through his eyes.

“Ok.” You panted simply.

“Are you sure, Y/N?”

“Yes, Yes, I am. I want this, I... I want this with you.” You said but you didn’t sound convincing so you continued. “It’s just sex, right?” You chuckled. “It’s not a big deal, we can... we-we’re grown people, we can have sex with each other if we...” Your breath hitched in your throat at the look on his face.

“No, I can’t do this.”

“What?”

“I can’t have sex with you Y/N. I can’t if it means nothing to you.”

You couldn’t say a word just stood there panting, trying to control yourself as you stared into his eyes.

“I like you.” He continued. “I do. And I want to make this work. I want us to work.”

“Javi, I...”

“Tell me you want the same. So I can make love to you.” A sudden rush of flutter you felt in your stomach mixed with a bitter feeling.

“Javi, you know I’m here for work. As soon as we catch Escobar I’ll leave the country.” You whispered and watched him shaking his head with disappointment. You took his face in your hands, making him look up at you.

“But I like you too. And I want you to make love to me.” You smiled and he kissed you. And his kiss felt sweeter than before. 

He knew you won’t stay forever and this both released him and terrified him. He didn’t want to fall in love with you. He didn’t want to fall in love at all that’s why he chose his lovers from hookers. And yet the intoxicant feelings that overwhelmed him at your presence was racing through his veins like wildfire.

Taking your hands in his he led you to the bedroom where he gently pushed you down onto the bed. His eyes were full of lust and your body was full of anticipation. He pushed you back into the bed crawling over you and his lips captured yours in a deep, passionate kiss. Your arms naturally wrapping around his neck and your fingers tangling in his hair. Dark and soft just like his gaze upon you as he pulled away from the kiss only to see the delicious expression of need on your face.

“I’ve been waiting for this so long.” He smiled tucking a hand under the hem of your nightgown and raising goosebumps on your skin.

Before you could say anything he bent down to claim your lips again. His hand glided along your thigh and your ribs until it reached a breast with inviting, stiffened nipple. You tried to bite back the soft moan that escaped as he rolled the ball of his thumb over the sensitive area, but it escaped with a shudder. You could tell from his growing smirk that it drove him crazy and the rising bulge palpable against your thigh could confirm that too.

As he moved to trail wet kisses along your jawline and neck you tried to catch your breath. His mouth moved perfectly against the sensitive spots sending waves of heavenly vibrations through your nerves and made your body unintentionally wiggle beneath his.

It took a few moments until you realized he had been getting rid of his pants. Your panties and nightgown quickly followed as he pulled off and threw them carelessly to the floor. Then he laid on his back, pulled you on top of him and paused, giving an admiring stare to your naked body. You’ve never felt so confident before. Locking your gaze with his you reached for him, carefully wrapping your fingers around his fully hardened erection. A sharp inhale escaped him.

Having him panting between your thighs made you want him inside you more than ever and he looked like he desperately wanted it too. He sat up and your body lighted up with pleasure as he latched his mouth on your nipple sucking and nipping it heatedly while rubbing an expert thumb gently against your clit. The soft massage he gave to your throbbing core turned you into a moaning mess.

“Fuck, Y/N!” Javier breathed. “I have to finish you up way too quickly if you keep making these sweet noises.”

Your mouth moved to reply but couldn’t form a single word as he captured your lips with his, kissing you with growing hunger.

When he broke the kiss again, you seized the opportunity to bury your head into the crook of his neck and press him back to the pillows only to taste every inch of soft skin you found the way down to his belly. Your hands still working on his length. Judging by the shaky breaths and loud moans he enjoyed your caresses.

“It seems like I’m not the only one here making sweet noises.” You teased him peering up through your lashes and gently bit into his belly. He was already so close, his erection felt painfully full and throbbing with every motion of your hand.

“I wouldn’t think you can be such a tease.” He said sitting up and tossing you onto your back again. “I like it.”

He reached under a pillow and pulled out a shiny package. The bare thought of having him inside you, made you shiver. After he put on the condom he leaned over you again and lined up his length with your soaking entrance. His eyes scouting your expression as he entered you slowly, deliciously slowly, allowing your walls to adjust his size. You quivered a silent moan and tightened your grips on his shoulders at the feeling of him filling you all the way up and sending tiny explodes of pleasure to your nerves all over your body.

You bucked your hips up and whimpered at the feeling of the sharp difference between constant alternation of fullness and emptiness. The room was loud with the sound of heavy breathing, moaning and screams. You started to feel a coil in your tummy tighten with every thrust he made and hearing him growling with pleasure pushed you closer and closer to the edge of your climax.

You couldn’t help but cried out his name when your walls convulsed around him in a divine manner you’ve never experienced before. It was his undoing and with a deep, rusty moan he pumped his cum inside you.

His eyes were closed and he felt his body weighted down, crushing yours into the bedding. He raised his head and smiled shyly at you. He looked exhausted but his beaming face made him irresistibly kissable. You couldn’t stop smiling as he snogged you amorously.

He rolled beside you and rested his head on your chest nestling between your arms. Taking a deep breath you inhaled his scent trying to savor the moment of the complete happiness and satisfaction. You spent a few minutes just laying in each other's arms in silence. He listened to your beating heart as you twirled your fingers through his hair.

“So... Are we still on for shopping tomorrow?” You asked lacing your fingers with his soft locks and pulling his head so you could look into his eyes.

“Of course.” He answered and placed his palm on your breast with tender care, gently rubbing the skin on it. “I wouldn’t mind spending more time with my girl.”

His last two words echoed in your mind and you couldn’t hide the gloominess that possessed your face. He frowned.

“I don’t wanna give up on us.” He said with a serious expression on his cute face then kissed your pursing lips with such need you wondered if he was ready to make you his again. He couldn’t help but moan as his hips bucked into your touch.

“Is this what I think this is?”

“Uh-hm.” He hummed against your lips. “We don’t know... how much longer... can we be together so... we have to use our time wisely.” He rustled between kisses he planted on the way from your neck to your breasts and you knew you were ready to give yourself to him fully. Not only your body but also your heart.

MASTERLIST

Tag list: @purplewings12