#so they both felt abandoned by them

[light-sabe-babe]

you know who this mf look like low-key?

LOOK

[thesummerstorms]

The other thing that I think I would want in an Annabeth Wayne AU that I don't think I've seen so far is Bruce being absolutely pissed at Athena.

It was bad enough with Talia and Damian, but Athena is a literal god of wisdom who should know better AND he doesn't even have the "culpability" of having slept with her.

She one hundred percent saw Batman, tactician of the Justice League, was drawn in by her aspect of the Goddess of Strategy, and proceeded to create a child without his consent, a daughter who she didn't even raise before the child became a weapon.

And like whatever else, however fucked up Damian was by his own training to become a child-weapon, at least Talia loved Damian.

Whereas Athena loves Annabeth in the way a Goddess loves, not the way a Person loves, and I don't think Bruce, whose entire identity is so fixated on his relationship with his own parents, would recognize that as love at all.

And, like, Talia put Damian through a lot of shit. I think Bruce would be angry there too. But when push came to shove, she at least at some point brought him to Bruce because she thought it was in her son's best interests.

Athena actively lead Annabeth away from Bruce and into the streets at the age of seven, which Bruce would never see as in her best interest, whatever Athena's godly perspective is, however badly he reacted after Jason's death, even though he couldn't see (and dismissed the idea of) the spiders and the monsters. She was seven. In the streets of Gotham.

Athena let Annabeth fight a major role in two wars back to back without being there to train her or protect her or love her or even advise her. Athena advocated for the cold blooded murder of the other children who had actually tried to keep his daughter safe. Athena sent Annabeth against Arachne when Athena's children have universally died on that quest for a thousand years.

Athena let Bruce think he had gotten Annabeth killed because of his own inability to handle his grief. Let him think his daughter was dead or worse for years. Would have let him keep thinking that if the Fates didn't have other plans.

And just, in true fashion for all of my ideas on a PJO x DC crossover, everyone really comes out more traumatized than before. This includes Bruce.

Because now he wasn't just used unknowingly for a child just once, but twice. And in both cases he's going to have to live forever with the guilt of not having been able to protect his kids from what their other parent wanted to make of them

(On top of all the ways he has directly failed them and made any complexes worse, of course )

[jlf23tumble]

It's rough out here right now, hope you're doing ok

Awwww, this is really sweet, and thank you, I'm doing okay, I hope you are as well!

[smeraldo-heart]

More Jedi Textposts

Except I go straight for angst this time and don’t even pretend to have some levity

Part two on its way….

[samdeancrimespree]

what gets me about the Going To Stanford Argument is like. i don’t think that either sam or dean wanted to be apart. but sam wanted to leave the family, and dean understood that to mean him too. sam wanted to get away from hunting, and dean was a hunter. dad said don’t come back and sam thought maybe that would be enough for dean to leave too. sam thought dean was choosing dad over him, and dean thought sam was leaving him. that if dean offered to come, sam would reject him, and he wouldn’t survive that. and he would lose both of them then. he’d never regain johns trust.

[symeraid-s]

Finally watched the final season of the Umbrella Academy. Gotta say, I don't think I have ever felt this betrayed by a series before.

[acourtofquestions]

Golden flame danced between her fingers.

Elide recoiled, and the fire vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

"My name is Essar," the female said softly. "I am a friend--of your friends, I believe."

Elide said nothing.

"Cairn is a monster," Essar said, taking a step closer. "Stay far from him."

"I need to find him."

"You played the part of his mistreated lover well enough. You have to know something about him. What he does."

"If you know where he is, please tell me." She wasn't above begging.

Essar ran an eye over Elide. Then she said, "He was in this city until yesterday. Then he went out to the eastern camp." She pointed with a thumb over a shoulder. "He's there now."

"How do you know?"

"Because he's not terrorizing the patrons of every fine establishment in this town, glutting himself on the coin Maeve gave him when he took the blood oath."

Elide blinked. She had hoped some of the Fae might be opposed to Maeve, especially after the battle in Eyllwe, but to find such outright distaste...

Essar then added, "And because my sister--the soldier you spoke with--told me. She saw him in the camp this morning, smirking like a cat."

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because you are wearing Lorcan's shirt, and Rowan Whitethorn's cloak. If you do not believe me, inform them who told you and they will." Elide cocked her head to the side.

Essar said softly, "Lorcan and I were involved for a time."

They were in the midst of war, and had traveled for thousands of miles to find their queen, and yet the tightness that coiled in Elide's gut at those words somehow found space. Lorcan's lover. This delicate beauty with a bedroom voice had been Lorcan's lover.

"I'll be missed if I'm gone for too long, but tell them who I am. Tell them that I told you. If it's Cairn they seek, that is where he shall be. His precise location, I don't know." Essar backed away a step. "Don't go asking after Cairn at other taverns. He isn't well regarded, even amongst the soldiers. And those who do follow him... You do not wish to attract their interest."

Essar made to turn away, but Elide blurted,

"Where did Maeve go?"

Essar looked over her shoulder. Studied her.

The female's eyes widened. "She has Aelin of the Wildfire," Essar breathed.

Elide said nothing, but Essar murmured, "That was... that was the power we felt the other night." Essar swept back toward Elide. Gripped her hands. "Where Maeve went a few days ago, I don't know. She did not announce it, did not take anyone with her. I often serve her, am asked to... It doesn't matter. What matters is Maeve is not here. But I do not know when she will return."

Relief again threatened to send Elide crumpling to the ground. The gods, it seemed, had not abandoned them just yet.

But if Maeve had taken Aelin to the outpost where they'd lied that the Valg prince had been contained...

Elide gripped Essar's hands, finding them warm and dry. "Does your sister know where Cairn resides in the camp?"

For long minutes, then an hour, they had talked.

Essar left and returned with Dresenda, her sister. And in that alley, they had plotted.

Elide finished telling Rowan, Lorcan, and Gavriel what she'd learned. They sat in stunned silence for a long minute.

"Just before dawn," Elide repeated. "Dresenda said the watch on the eastern camp is weakest at dawn. That she'd find a way for the guards to be occupied. It's our only window."

Rowan was staring into the trees, as if he could see the layout of the camp, as if he were plotting his way in, way out.

"She didn't confirm if Aelin was in Cairn's tent, though," Gavriel cautioned. "Maeve is gone--Aelin might be with her, too."

"It's a risk we take," Rowan said. A risk, perhaps, they should have considered.

Elide glanced to Lorcan, who had been silent throughout. Even though it had been his lover who had helped them, perhaps guided by Anneith herself. Or at least had been tipped off by the scent on Elide's clothes.

"You think we can trust her?" Elide asked Lorcan, though she knew the answer.

Lorcan's dark eyes shifted to her. "Yes, though I don't see why she'd bother."

"She's a good female, that's why," Rowan said.

At Elide's lifted brow, he explained, "Essar visited Mistward this spring. She met Aelin." He cut a glare toward Lorcan. "And asked me to tell you that she sends her best."

Elide hadn't seen anything that came close to pining in Essar's face, but gods, she was beautiful. And smart. And kind. And Lorcan had let her go, somehow.

[bunnihearted]

🌌🗯️

[robinsnest2111]

thinking about the cute goth girl and the sweet metalhead from my dreams again. and how they're kinda like alternate universe versions of 2 of my oldest ocs actually. hmm 🤔

[vvh0adie]

i’m not gon lie watchin’ Gyeongseong Creature triggered me very badly. i literally had to take a nap after two episodes

i almost didn’t finish. but im glad i did cuz while some of it is fictitious, i still bared witness to just a SUBSET of what went down back then. and it’s honestly made me want to pick up an academic telling of what happened

i used to be able to watch stuff like this without flinching but the more you know your history the harder it is. it’s no longer fake blood and bodies on a screen. it feels too real

i was honestly tired after watchin’ it. it’s the same kind of mental exhaustion from watchin’ an american slave movie or reading something similar

it’s having to go through the motion of self talk and saying “you don’t need to stoop to their low. getting revenge is exhausting. spend your years being happy and not bogged by hate cuz that’s not what your ancestors fought for.”

i don’t want to surrender my humanity for petty murder. i only hope i have that dog in me when im threatened and even then i hope that day never comes

it just seems like human experimentation and dehumanization is a colonial byproduct

spoilers under

i didn’t watch the scalpel scene because i just kept thinking about the pregnant enslaved black women who went thru C-sections while conscious

i couldn’t do the babies in the jars because i just kept thinking about the doctors who would remove the brains of black newborns while still alive

the head in the jars and all the anatomy pictures up in Lt. Kato’s office didn’t feel like marvels of science but trophies and honestly pornography. it’s something to jack the mind off to in that they get to revel in the horror they inflicted on people

and even then all that was spurred by competition and revenge to see who could advance further. they literally wanted a comprehensive anatomy book that rivaled germany’s and wanted a monster that was better than the us’s atomic bomb

like when you look at it that way. they’re really playing games with each other to a lethal end and everyone else are just pawns

<><><>

i cried when the lil’ girl asked if they won hide and seek because while she’s probably gonna grow up and realize how fucked up of a situation she was in, IN THE NOW, she is still innocent and doesn’t understand the gravity of what being quiet actually meant

i cried real hard when chaeok’s father thanked those koreans who escaped the cells for being alive. for not laying down and accepting their deaths. they didn’t accept the extermination of koreans. the love for your people is a different kind of love and it just resonated with me. like i didn’t even know i felt that strongly about something like that until he said that

<><><>

also its the throwing of slurs when in the same breath the colonizers couldn’t even separate their own from the korean men they forced to join their army

it just goes to show how stupid all that was

it’s very petty and i know it’s driven by pride because the japanese gov’t doesn’t even want to apologize to the women they dehumanized. if they can’t apologize to this specific group of people, then we may never see that for all koreans

and that truly means i have no hope for america, israel, the uk, belgium, france, or any other country to condemn themselves for the sick shit they did/do

and if there is a god, i hope and pray we never see something biologically as monstrous as the creature cuz we all know it would be horrific

i hope this shit never comes thru my screen. and everything that i saw that truly DID happen, i want it to stop repeating itself

[reserwrekt]

But what if I've felt like I'm too traumatized to have friends, practically since I was born?

[girlthativealwaysbeen]

real

[ruvviks]

also interesting to think about what would've happened if vitali and mikhail hadn't lost contact with each other for six years. they would've hated each other by now i know that much

[malkaviian]

random oc facts, of the "they have problems" flavor

[cheridraws]

hello i would like to know more about Patrick his story sounds interesting!

AHHHHH hello yes!!! I would love to talk about Patrick more!!!!!

So Patrick is an oc in this little story i've been developing over the last couple of years!! He's my main character (one of four) and is the most Fucked in my opinion, haha, so you know he's my favorite guy to talk about

Patrick is a character that has deeply fucked up in the past and spends sooooo much of his present trying to atone for those mistakes

So, beginning info:

broke as hell

was kicked out of his house at 18. this was mostly due to said family's struggle with poverty. this is important

has a twin bro (that i will get into later)

He spent some time in debt trouble with no help and was living on the run for a couple of years before he met this entity called Lasair (aka, a Spirit, which are basically the gods of this world). They bond, and it extends an olive branch to Patrick. Aka the guy basically desperate for connection and love. Lasair is an asshole who uses this to its advantage. I'm summing up a lot here, but in short, Patrick winds up helping Lasair with its plan to burn the world to the ground bc humanity sucks ass and we’re all terrible and deserve to be destroyed (but not actually!!!! The whole story is abt fighting this worldview). Eventually, after a lot of thinking and some convincing from some of their victims, he starts to have doubts,,, and oh well shit he’s got a brother doesn’t he. There might be a few ppl worth saving,,, oh no…. So he realizes that he needs to stop this right now actually (again, this is summed up, but that whole process takes a good few years of doubt in order to kick in. bestie's been thoroughly indoctrinated into lasair's thing for a while)

Patrick runs away, and vows to destroy Lasair's whole operation. Unfortunately, he's back on the run and is being chased down by some of Lasair's assets. Back to square one, basically.

BUT, he does have one hope!!! His twin, Philemon (Phil, who I often misspell as Phile, lol), who he has been estranged from for about a decade now, is still kicking, so Patrick runs over to him for help because who else is he supposed to ask. From here, the two of them begin to travel together (Phil, unwillingly at first) and try to find a way to defeat Lasair, later recruiting two more friends!! (who i'm still developing jskfjlj)

His character is sooo fun for me to talk about, mostly because he kinda fits most archetypes of characters i adore haha. Deeply fucked little guy who's learning how to love again <3 and is having to unlearn a loooooooot of stuff, holy shit

Speaking of which: he's got some real bad martyr issues, and believes that his actions during that decade he spent with Lasair define him; he thinks he is irredeemable. In life, anyways. His whole plan is to kill off or seal away Lasair in some big, grand, self-sacrificing act so he can a, destroy the monster he feels he created and b, somewhat redeem himself in death. Like,, he believes that this is the only thing that can redeem him to both his loved ones and family, so he's dead set on this ending despite his loved one's objections. Of course, over the course of traveling with Phil and the later members of their group, he sort-of begins to see the beauty in living, which becomes a nice contrast to Lasair's view of the world!! His whole character arc ends with him realizing that he wants to live and it makes me sob

anyways here's a few things I don't know how to work into this coherently but want to mention anyways:

he literally befriends the spirit of death. they're besties bc he nearly dies a lot. also death might kinda be into him,, bc apparently he’s a magnet for weird godlike creature’s attraction

is my ace icon <3

fucked a literal fire. like it was lasair but,, that spirit's made of fire my guy…. how are you doing….

O yeah,,,, him and Las were kind of in a relationship. I say kind of bc it didn’t have a label but like. Yeah. And it wasn’t good

actually yeah ask me abt lasair its design makes me unwell /posi so do all the other spirits

he decided the best course of action into getting phil to help him was a, break into his apartment, b, accidentally terrorize him with the people trying to hunt him down, and c, kidnap?? him??? (but only for like a minute)

those assets are called the Illusionist and the Mirror btw and i like them too

Actually Pls somebody help Phil all he wanted was to escape his hometown and become a big shot engineer he did not want to be roped into whatever the hell this is

anyways. I am completely unwell for him and think about him way too much,,, i really need to work on developing it more than i have,,, especially since i've got a whooollee lot of worldbuilding to do hehe. Thanks for asking about him though!!!! I hope this was coherent, haha, i've been dying to talk abt this fella for ages

(and feel free to ask me more i could write essays abt him)

[bushido-jack]

//Something I relate to with Samurai Jack, is that feeling of life finding every opportunity to push you back down, to kick your legs out from under you, bring you to your knees, leave you screaming, in pain, desperate, on fire. And yet to persevere, not just for your sake, but because you don’t see any other way. And somehow, even limping, you’ll find a way to wring out peace, happiness, contentment, love, and passion from this never ending path of pain. If you are to suffer, but there is no other way, there must be joy to be gripped with white knuckles and hungry claws, to fight for peace and to strive for hope even in the midst of all your anger and confusion and despair.

I may feel like there’s no way out, but I’ve got to keep moving. There are people out there depending on me to not give up. I can’t let these forces trying to cut my journey to an abrupt end win— even if I’m tired, even if I feel like it’s too much. When I feel alone, I let my mind picture what they’d want, I let myself mourn and wonder and wish, but I don’t let it give up. I can’t go see you yet. I have more to do. Watch me and I will see you when my work is done. But I will hold onto you for all of my life. I will make my life a service to you, my actions a memorial that can be trailed to you. In every move I make I will tell the ones I love, gone and with me, “this is for you, this is for you,” and when I live, even with tears and anger and joy, “this is for you.”