#so the practice was necessary.....
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a random cleo in armor
#wanted to draw here but didn't have any ideas. when in doubt draw armor☝️#cleo is fun to draw i like her color scheme. but i still need to get better at drawing different body types#this one isn't bad but i feel like i could've done better. need to practice more#hermitcraft#zombiecleo#my art#sketch#also im rushing to post all the backlogged hc art before season 10 starts so there will be 2(+) post per day until then#it's not necessary but i feel like otherwise it'll just drown in the new stuff
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Highever Has Fallen
#aka Duncan taking advantage of Aileana’s worst day ever#I have complex feelings about the Cousland Origin’s recruitment#Aileana had to be practically dragged away kicking and screaming#but I like to think that in the time it took to get to Ostagar Duncan was able to mend some of the feelings of betrayal she held against hi#It was a very cruel wake-up call for a noblewoman who held so much freedom from the darker parts of life#but necessary for her growth#dragon age#dragon age origins#Aileana Cousland#Cousland origin#Duncan dragon age#my art
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harrier du bois but not in daybreak palette because adhd told me to take my intentions and go fuck myself
#my art#disco elysium#harry du bois#this is where consistent practice is necessary: so you don't end up making art like this#i swear every time i have a personal art 'win' it's followed by a string of things just not going the way i want at all
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i'm sorry i put kaveh through the wringer again
open for better quality | no reposts
#kaveh#alhaitham#kavetham#genshin impact#fanart#myart#doodle#content aside. this was unintentionally really good value and perspective practice??#i abhor foreshortening so it's necessary to practice once in a while#this also felt like i was painting w/ ink which is smth i haven't done in quite a while#anyway i hope everyone's doing well!#it's getting colder so please be sure to take care ^^
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Decimation
Some members of one of the GIW’s top-secret research facilities have made an earth-shattering discovery.
They’ve found a way to make half-ghosts.
The failure rate is high. For every subject they successfully convert, many more are left burnt-out corpses—or worse, as rabid undead that must be put down with force.
It didn’t matter. The test subjects were cheap, worthless. Their countless deaths were an acceptable sacrifice in the name of progress.
Their operative’ deaths when they begin the full plan… those will matter more. Their warped agents may be more dangerous than normal humans in combat, but legions of foot soldiers still have their place. It would be foolish to leave themself solely in the hands of ectoplasmic entities, even if they’re allies and still partially human. Recruiting and training enough replacements to recover the losses would take time.
But it will all be worth it.
Finally, they will have control of a strong enough army to bring their goals to fruition. Those inhuman wraiths will be eradicated, ensuring the safety of the real, living humans and opening up a whole new dimension of untapped resources.
#danny phantom#dp#not specifically dp x dc but i feel like the “heroes vs GIW” plot type would fit really well#so i’m gonna include a few of those tags:#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#dc x dp#danny phantom au#dp au#danny phantom prompt#idk how to convey this but they still hate *all* ghosts#using half ghosts doesn’t change that#it’s seen as like. disgusting but necessary#i tried to use words with more negative connotations like “warped” or “more *dangerous*” to communicate that mood but idk if it comes across#dp prompt#guys in white#ghost investigation ward#giw (danny phantom)#i’m pretty proud of the title of this#like it’s not too deep but it feels sorta connected to two differen things through the two meanings of the word#romans had a practice called “decimation” which involved killing 1/10 the soldiers of a group as a punishment#and here the GIW are knowingly killing a portion of their own agents to strengthen their forces#(though it’s a larger fraction so if the “deci-” part were to be kept it’d be like “1 in 10 *survived*” instead of “1 in 10 died”)#and then they also intend to decimate the Ghost Zone (as in the modern meaning of “destroying much if not all of something”
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Favorite Stede Facial Expressions Part 3/?
#OFMD#Our Flag Means Death#Stede Bonnet#Rhys Darby#ofmdedit#ofmdaily#ofmdgifs#ofmdblog#Edit#Stede Faces#Lmao about TIME I revisited this series#...Only for episode five to nearly TAKE ME RIGHT ON OUT WITH ALL THE NECESSARY COLOR CORRECTIONSHDJKLSHK#Episode 5 really said: Let's use TONES#like girl i Get It but WHEW LMAO#Lovely practice at least!#like the moonlight scene made me Take Damage but it was WORTH IT HSLDKS#THE COLOR CORRECTIVENESS GROWS.....#ALSO another thing about episode 5 was sjdkshdlks THE TREASURE TROVE OF STEDE FACES#5 and 6 were making me giggle so much#And then 7 is just.....................#I really REALLY hope we get that confidence from him more often#Even though I'm 10000000% sure it'll make me Collapse <3
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wake up babe, it's lil guy o'clock.
#sometimes you just gotta doodle some of your fav lil guys#the manga is so full of incredible lil guys#also i am not great at drawing more simple styles so this was necessary practice for me#but also it was just fun lol#oh god now i gotta tag all the boys#uhh uhhhhhh#yamaguchi tadashi#haikyuu yamaguchi#hq yamaguchi#sugawara koushi#haikyuu sugawara#hq sugawara#sugawara kōshi#haikyuu miya atsumu#miya atsumu#hq miya atsumu#sakusa kiyoomi#hq sakusa#haikyuu sakusa#kozume kenma#haikyuu kenma#hq kenma#hq fukunaga#fukunaga shouhei#haikyuu fukunaga#daishou suguru#haikyuu daishou#hq daishou#hoshiumi kourai#haikyuu hoshiumi
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I don't remember if you answered this question, but did you go to art school or are you self-taught? Have you studied from YouTube videos?
nah, I never did art school. I learned a few things from books when I was a kid and got signed up for a short summer art class one time, since I was thinking about being a professional artist and my parents were trying to help me along. I learned how to use digital art programs from tutorials when I was a teenager, but I haven't used tutorials much besides that. pretty much everything I know has been from observing other artists online and experimenting. so yeah, I guess that means I'm self-taught, haha.
I went to school for music and vocal performance, but I could tell a long story about the university I went to, how they weren't really qualified to train musicians and how I dropped out. I've already been working professionally as a performer for 7 years, working with a private teacher and as a teacher myself, and I have tons of experience that I never would've gotten at school, so it's all working out really well.
#this is a tirade but I think that college singing programs are generally pretty flawed#there are educational elements to being a singer but experience is SUPER important and colleges give you next to no experience#and you're so freaking busy in college that you have zero time or energy to even practice your craft#like the reason young artist programs exist is because they don't do that stuff in college#people spend a load of money on a college education that will make them fill their degree with useless GEs and electives#and then they have to spend even more money getting actual necessary stage experience#uh oh. I'm having opinions again#barring that college kind of sucked for me specifically lol#school and I didn't get along#asks
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#dandys world#dandys world fanart#dandys world dandy#the burnout is coming i can feel it.#buttttt toon stylization practice!!!!!#felt like i struggle with him the most when doodling so i locked in/ this lowkey serves as my personal ref sheet#my take on dandy is not that hes the epitome of evil rather hes taking the necessary evils to get what he believes is the best solutiom…#for whatever that means jm too shy to elaborate
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22 more images below the cut (Warning: Less than moral discussion ahead):
Light leads L to a particular stretch of woods that he calls "neutral ground" and demands to hear L's conditions for him to work with Kira. L tries to explain in a way that will convince Light to accept his assistance. It appears to be successful...
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Big Disclaimer here: I, personally, don't condone the "Kira Plan" in any way, shape, or form. I don't even believe that there is a "correct" way to enact it. I am very firmly on the "Anti-Kira" and "Light is a Tragic Character with Bad Coping Mechanisms/Self Delusion" teams. I don't want to spoil too much of what's left of this story, but I do have a plan/explanation in the future~.
#drawn by me#my fanart#my fancomic#Death Note#The Chain#Light Yagami#L#lawlight#morally dubious and pretty darn reprehensible discussion and negotiations#L trying to get into Light's good graces#trying to criticize Light's approach without immediately damning himself#good thing Light’s practically head over heels for him already~#forest and trees#I apologize for the disclaimer there but I find it necessary so people don't get the wrong idea about me#I may love Light to bits but I do think it's an immoral plan that's just plain garbage and an excuse to absolve himself of guilt#and I enjoy watching his and everyone's antics in a Ryuk-esque way because it's an entertaining fictional series/franchise~#this is part of the reason that I was a little nervous to post this entry: that people may try to equate my views with what is written her#henh sorry for the serious stuff in the tags but serious stuff is being discussed in the comic
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Some ABCs with Muppet Light and Muppet L
#though you may want to avoid practicing spelling your own name around Light lol#anyway i love sesame street/the muppets dearly and am death note brainrotted so muppet DN seemed necessary#death note#death note fanart#death note au#death note x sesame street#muppet death note#the muppets#light yagami#l lawliet#lawlight#fan art#my fan art
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Seeing how neat Ace's handwriting is as a child (especially compared to Luffy lol) just makes me imagine how patient Sabo must have been with teaching him
He probably had to correct him several times, and when Ace eventually got frustrated and lost his patience, he would encourage him and compliment his progress
They make so soft
#sad that he didn't get dnough time with Luffy to fo the same for him#not sure if it would have worked tho haha#I doubt he would stay put#it's hard for me to imagine Ace learned from anyone other yhan Sabo#I like to think after enough time had passed for Ace to have an easier time thinking about Sabo he got back to practicing sith his books#I doubt he would have been able to read marine documents properly with a 10 yo's reading knowledge#and Sabo was only with his family till 5 so he probably learned a lot of extra things later on his own as well#lulu rambles#one piece#sabo#sabo the revolutionary#revolutionary sabo#portgas d ace#portgas d. ace#asl brothers#alsoooo#I think Ace was actually a good learner#but he wouldn't see it that way sadly#I wonder if Sabo pushed him to start learning (I mean that in a good way ofc)#since he thought it would be necessary for them esp in the future#or Ace actually asked him to do wo#hmmm#ak many typos :b
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on dick grayson & roy harper & marriage
I mostly stand by what I said here on the dickroy marriage poll (in short: lmao, they’d barely even admit they’re in a relationship) BUT after more thought I believe there actually is a world where they’d get married ‘for love’?
now, imo roy would never be the one to propose. marriage just isn’t that meaningful to him; it’s not something he really cares about. (and even if it was, proposing would feel like an ultimatum he doesn’t want to set. when everyone always leaves you, you learn to be careful not to ask for too much.)
and while I DO believe marriage means something symbolically important to dick, it’s a pretty fraught topic for him, given past experiences! so I think dick would resist putting labels on his relationship with roy, because acknowledging that there’s a romantic element to the way they love each other opens their relationship up to failing the way dick's past romantic relationships have failed.
but if they’d been in a stable relationship for a while, and dick had worked through some of his issues? well. so much of their relationship has been defined by leaving and being left, by other things getting in the way. so if they finally worked it out, I could see dick proposing as a promise to roy that he’s committed to roy and the life they’re building together. that he’s sticking around. that their relationship (that roy) is worth prioritizing!
and marriage might not mean much to roy, but he knows that dick takes it seriously. he knows that if dick is offering ‘till death do us part’ now—after working through his shit enough to be honest with himself—then dick means it. and that would be VERY significant to roy. it wouldn’t change anything about their relationship on the surface! but it would soothe the part of him that’s always bracing for abandonment, and let him believe that this is something he might get to keep.
they still wouldn’t have a wedding tho. they’d get courthouse married on a random afternoon with just them and a witness, and then probably not actually bother to tell anyone* unless asked directly, besides casually referencing it when quipping at each other.
*except donna. she knows because dick talked it through with her before proposing.
#this post isn't about bruce but he's certainly haunting it. like he haunts everything in dick grayson's life!!#and yeah i’ll admit the odds of dick actually working through his issues enough to get to this point is perhaps slim.#but I am choosing to believe its possible because I love roy harper and I want him to get a happy ending#he deserves the world!!!!!! unfortunately he doesn’t want the world he wants dick grayson to be happy and psychologically healthy#which is a much more difficult ask 😔#also after writing this I’m less inclined to think they’d get married for practical/utility reasons if it wasn’t strictly necessary#i think dick at least would be reluctant to make those vows if he didn’t know they both meant it#dc#mine: dc#dick grayson#roy harper#dickroy#roydick#i spent so fucking long editing this to try to cut it down and yet here we are. not every post is meant 2 be punchy and concise#it's much less rambly than it was originally tho!
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Commander Peepers was not the only male character in Wander Over Yonder to continue to treat Lord Dominator as exactly the same threat she was before after they found out she was a woman so that you could call him sexist.
#That’s like the one villainous tendency he DOESN’T have!!#His unethical but situationally-necessary hiring practices are nothing personal!#Wander Over Yonder#Commander Peepers#He’s xenophobic and oikophobic at the same time somehow I’m sure we could work on that but he is NOT sexist#If Lord Hater weren’t a factor#well I was gonna say the Skullship would look very different but they’re Watchdogs so it would probably look the same
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BBS is a tragedy in many ways, but one of the things that gets me is that the catalyst, the one big thing that caused this mess to begin with, is so avoidable.
Like, the story starts primarily because Terra starts to fear himself (because of the darkness he has unwittingly 'used') and this causes a spiral of doubt and obsession. A spiral which he could've escaped from or maybe not even started if he just 1) had been taught the balance between light and dark properly (that darkness is more than just unquestionable evil, that light is more than unquestionable good, that they can and should co-exist in balance), and 2) had consistent socialization from more than the same 3 people.
Like. BBS is a cautionary tale about what happens when people aren't exposed to a wide enough variety of people and, therefore, end up naive and overly trusting because they never learned that people have ulterior motives. Terra is consistently manipulated and used by people literally everywhere he goes, because he can't see that they might not have the best intentions! He can't see the red flags because he doesn't know there are red flags to look for!
Xehanort knows this. It's why he targeted Terra to begin with: because he would be susceptable to his words. The main reason he couldn't use Aqua is because she was too confident in her own values, she didn't have the seed of doubt that Terra had. It's the only thing that prevents her from being used the same way he is, even though she is just as naive and trusting as he is.
Ven probably has it the worst socialization wise. Unlike Terra and Aqua who, presumably, has/had a family and life outside of the Land of Departure prior to beginning training there, Ven doesn't remember anything before then (not that he had much he'd be happy to remember anyway). And since he's the youngest and most 'fragile' one (due to being in recovery for most of his time here), he gets somewhat coddled and shielded by everyone else. Not to mention the way Eraqus completely forbid him from leaving and never intented for him to ever see worlds outside the Land of Departure. Sure, Terra and Aqua aren't typically supposed to leave either, but at least they'd be allowed in certain situations. Ven wouldn't.
Ven isn't allowed to interact with anyone outside of home. He's not allowed anything that involves the outer worlds. (He and Naminé are a bit alike in that sense. Though at least the people he's stuck with are nice to Ven and do genuinely care for him, unlike Naminé...)
BBS happens largely because Eraqus failed as both a teacher and a parental figure to all of them, but Terra most of all.
#started bbs again and had feelings. not sorry#so much of the story in general (but ESPECIALLY terras part) happens the way it does bc eraqus was a flawed man with flawed values#he taught his pupils a rigidly black and white worldview that doesnt work when put to practice#and he isolated them from the outside world meaning they lack so so much necessary knowledge and exposure#its why they were so much more susceptable to manipulation and misdirection than someone like sore#who is also largely trusting#but he has had proper socialization and exposure to different people as he grew up#that he can tell good and ill intent apart#but its also like.#at the point where the story starts its already too late#because the damage is done#they cant undo the flawed teachings and under-exposure in an instant#eraqus failed to see the consequences for his teachings- that by demonizing darkness he makes it a source of fear#and as he himself said: fear leads to obsession and obsession feeds the darkness#and obsession he unwittingly stoked by creating said fear#also just to be clear this is not meant as eraqus hate he is a complicated man who made mistakes#but nevertheless meant well and could never have forseen just how badly his teachings wouldve made things#OUGH its a complicated situation and none of them are really at fault!#(except xehanort)#(he is very much directly at fault)#terra#aqua#ventus#eraqus#kingdom hearts#kingdom hearts birth by sleep#kh#kh bbs#xander rambles
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ive dipped my toes into a little bit of unserious fic writing for rnm and i felt it was about time i dropped an autistic rick fic 🫡
ive had this idea circling around in my head for a while but i wasn't really sure what direction the fic would go in but ive decided to go for some good old internalised ableism (me writing angst? shocking /sarc) bcs rick never seems to see his autism as a disadvantage which is super slay BUT there is also a lot of difficult things to deal with being autistic and you know that old fucker hates admitting he needs help with anything so im gonna fucking force him to >:) this is set in like maybe season 2 or early season 3 btw just to make rick even less inclined to admit he needs any help !!
ok enough yapping, here we gooo
~~~
It was awfully quiet in the house for a Saturday afternoon. Usually by now Rick would've come barging into the living room, demanding Morty come with him and tugging him through a portal without waiting for an affirmative answer, always at least a little drunk on whatever he could get his hands on.
Today there was none of that, only fragrant smells of whatever dinner Jerry was cooking coming from the kitchen, juxtaposed with the harsh screaming match going on between him and Beth. Summer was scrolling on her phone absently next to Morty on the sofa as he pretended to watch some film that Jerry insisted was a masterpiece on non-interdimensional TV.
Overall, it was a normal night at the Smith's house from before Rick had come into their lives, but Morty wasn't relaxed like he would've been before, or even upset over having to listen to his parents' petty argument. No, he was ansty, fidgeting around enough to earn several annoyed glances from Summer.
He combed back through his memories, doubting whether he'd seen Rick today at all. He hadn't been at lunch or breakfast, in fact Morty hadn't seen him at all since their brief adventure yesterday, during which Rick had been in an increasingly foul mood. Had no one else even noticed his disappearance?
"I'm gonna check on Rick." He blurted out, stumbling off the sofa.
Summer didn't even spare him a glance.
He tried not to run down the hallway, nervous jitters going through his whole body. What if he had left again? No, probably not, Morty had seen his ship in the driveway. Shit– Rick had thousands of enemies, what if he was lying dead in his room right now?
Morty knocked on Rick's door so hard his knuckles stung a little, ignoring the small buzzing sound that accompanied the knocks. He heard a groan akin to one of a dying man and some shuffling from inside the room.
"Rick?" Morty called out to no answer, anxiety only rising.
He shifted nervously from foot to foot. If he just barged into Rick's room and he was fine Rick would be super pissed, but if he didn't and Rick was dying Morty would never forgive himself.
He shoved the door open. It didn't have a lock anymore. Morty held his breath as his eyes darted around the room, he feared it would look like a crime scene, but it looked... normal. He hadn't been in Rick's room that many times but, despite the darkness and slight mess, nothing seemed particularly out of place.
Well, that was, of course, apart from the translucent green force field type thing in front of the door.
He frowned, calling Rick's name again, but he was lying in his cot, facing the wall, unresponsive. Not even seeming like he'd heard Morty, the rise and fall of his tense shoulders the only thing showing he was still alive.
Morty chanced a careful touch to the force field, preparing for some kind of electric shock, but none came, only a quiet hum was emmited as Morty's fingers passed through. Rick moved again slightly, but other than that showed no visible reaction.
The field gave way easily and Morty passed though completely, standing meekly at the doorway of Rick's room. He was surprised to find that it was silent, like completely. No sound passed through the green barrier, not the sounds of sizzling pans, or the movie playing faintly in the background. Nothing.
"Rick? A-are you okay?" It wasn't said particularly loudly, but it felt that way in the complete silence.
No answer. He took a step closer, repeating himself louder, in case Rick just hadn't heard. "Rick? W-what's– is everything good?"
He expected anything, from Rick yelling at him to the person in the bed just being an alien wearing Rick's face, not even Rick himself.
He didn't expect Rick to cover his ears and curl into himself further.
"Uh-" Morty hesitated. His head hurt? Was he, like, hungover? Dying?
He only paused for a second more before turning and running out of the room, if something really was greviously wrong with Rick he would much rather be safe than sorry.
"Mom!" He called, running into the kitchen, interrupting the argument going on abruptly.
Beth downed a large sip of her wine glass, emptying it and setting it down on the counter with a sharp clink.
"Morty, honey, the adults are talking right now." She said, rubbing her temples tiredly.
"Mom, something's w-w-wrong with Rick."
"What?" That got Beth's attention, straightening from where she was topping off her wine once more. "What's wrong with Rick?"
"I don't know." Morty replied, agitated. "He's in his room just– just lying there, he's not answering me."
Beth was already heading in the direction of his room—not without grabbing her wine. "Come on, sweetie." She said to Morty.
"Wha- Beth, come on! We were having a conversation here!" Jerry exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.
"I have more important things to deal with right now, Jerry." She said coldly.
Jerry's complaints were drowned out by Morty's rushing thoughts as he led Beth down the hall.
She peeked into the dark room without passing the noise-cancelling field, expression changing when she saw Rick curled into a ball, hands still clamped over his ears. While her frown stayed, a sort of realisation flashed in her eyes.
"Um, I think your grandpa just needs a little bit of alone time right now, okay? Let's give him some space." She said, taking a step back and closing the door gently.
"What? Why?"
"He just... Well, honestly, I don't know. I just vaguely remember he would get like this sometimes when I was a kid, when he was stressed. Mom always told me to just leave him alone for a while. I thought he'd probably grown out of it, like it was a midlife crisis thing or whatever. Guess not." She gave a small shrug.
That didn't really answer any of Morty's questions and raised several more, but Beth didn't seem to have the answers.
"Okay."
"Okay." Beth echoed, taking a swig of wine, her demeanour changing back to a bored one. "Well, I gotta go deal with Jerry now, go play video games, or something."
For the rest of that day, and then one more after that, Morty waited anxiously for Rick to emerge from his room. He felt like he was losing his mind, all while everyone else didn't even seem to care that Rick was gone at all.
He was picking at his pancakes uninterestedly when he finally caught a glimpse of blue hair in the hallway.
"Rick!" He exclaimed, making the old man nearly jump out of his skin.
"Jesus fucking christ, M-Morty." He muttered, grabbing some orange juice from the fridge and downing it straight from the carton.
"What happened?" Morty asked, getting up from the table and hovering by Rick. No one told him off for leaving the table. He could tell that they were all listening in on the conversation.
"What happened when?" Rick asked dismissively, playing dumb. He rummaged around in the overhead cupboard until he found an opened box of wafers. "What– who the fuck opened my wafers?"
Morty rolled his eyes. "You did, last week."
"Oh yeah." Rick shoved a wafer in his mouth.
"Rick, come on, seriously, I was worried."
"Well then maybe you should mind your own business, Morty."
Morty huffed. "What so you'd prefer I didn't care about you at all?"
"Yes. Obviously. Why does that surprise you? I've clearly stated it on multiple occasions."
"Well, I'm sorry, but I do care about you, Rick. I just want to make sure you're okay, because it seemed like you weren't" Morty said earnestly.
"Ugh, I'm fine, Morty." He scowled. "Don't be so– so weird about it."
"I'm weird?! Y-you're the weird one, Rick! Wh-what the hell is wrong with you? You just dissapear for– for two days and won't even tell me why? Can you give half a shit about anyone but yourself?"
"Jesus, I was overstimulated! O-okay? I'm autistic! Is that what you want to hear? You– you fucking dick."
Morty shook his head lightly, processing the stream of information "...What?"
"What? You can't be autistic." Jerry chimed in from the dining room.
"Okay, Jerry, and you won't be alive when I stuff your tiny dick in your mouth and freeze you, so we can put you on the mantle like some kind of fucked up decoration with your balls hanging out. Wait, actually, you will be alive. You'll feel the whole thing. Suuuper painful."
Rick snatched up Morty's virtually untouched stack of pancakes and sauntered out.
A quiet washed over the table, Morty looking over at Beth and seeing that she seemed just as surprised as him.
"What, you guys seriously didn't know?" Summer's bored voice broke through the silence.
"Y- you did?" Morty asked incredulously.
"Uh, duhh, Morty. It's like super obvious?" Summer drawled, not even looking up from whoever she was texting on her phone.
"How is it obvious?!"
"Becuase, Morty, I'm not uneducated like all of you guys."
"What? Wh-whatever, I'm just– I'm gonna go talk to him."
Summer didn't grace him with a response.
Morty peered into Rick's room but he wasn't there, so he wandered towards the garage. As he approached, he could already hear the sounds of Rick tinkering with something or other.
"H-hey, Rick." He said carefully, but Rick didn't seem particularly upset, offering Morty a small grunt in greeting.
"S-sorry I said there was something wrong with you." Morty added.
Rick looked up this time, quirking an eyebrow at him. "Okay?"
He went back to his project for a bit, but when Morty still didn't leave after several minutes he sighed, setting his wrench down harshly next to Morty's now half-eaten pancakes. "Yes, Morty?" He asked, irritated.
"I-I just... You could've told me, you know? That you're autistic. I'm not– you don't have to be, like... ashamed."
"Screw you, I'm not ashamed." Rick snapped. "L-look at me Morty, do you know how smart I am? You think any fucking neurotypical could ever reach my level of genius? Fuck no!"
He crossed his arms like a petulant child, pouting at the floor.
"Oh– Sorry." Morty stuttered. "I just thought..."
"What? That just because I'm autistic I have to be ashamed? Pretty ableist stuff there, Morty." Rick said sharply.
"No! Jeez, That's not– not what I meant, Rick. Jeez... I was gonna ask why you never t-talk about it, then?"
"Becuase it's none of y-your damn business, that's why."
"But– I mean, sure, but not even my mom knew. Did... did your wife? Did she know?"
Rick's shoulders tensed and he looked away, his loose grip on the table becoming harsher.
"R-rick?"
"She... knew." He said tightly.
"Did anyone else?" Morty made his tone a little gentler, seeing Rick wasn't exactly thrilled to talk about it.
"...Birdperson. And Squanchy."
"That's– no one else?"
Rick frowned. "My parents knew. But they didn't like it... Diane– my wife she was the first person I chose to tell myself."
"I'm sorry." Morty said quietly. "About your parents and... Diane."
Rick sat silently, staring at the work bench in front of him without saying a word.
"Is that... why you guys divorced, or?"
"No, Morty, jesus." Rick huffed. "She was actually the only one that didn't treat me like less than because of it. I mean, until BP and Squanch."
"So why–?"
"I don't want to talk about my failed marriage, M-morty." Rick sighed.
"...Sorry."
Rick shrugged.
Silence stretched on as Rick went back to his project again, it wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but it wasn't exactly comfortable either.
"It's embarrasing. Sometimes." Rick said haltingly. "When I get overstimulated. Becuase I know that doesn't happen to normal people and I don't like admitting I need help with things that other people don't. It's a sign of weakness."
"That's not–!"
"Shut the fuck up, Morty. This isn't a discussion, you got what you wanted out of me, so now you can fuck off."
"But, Rick you–"
"Morty, just fuck the fuck off."
Morty hesitated for a second, before lunging towards Rick and trapping him in a tight hug. Rick tensed up.
"Morty, you little shit, get off me!" Rick wriggled, trying to get out of Morty's embrace.
"I love you, grandpa. Thank you for opening up to me, I know it's hard for you." Morty whispered, which only made Rick thrash around harder. "I don't think you're weak, by the way. Or that there's anything wrong with you."
Morty finally pulled away from the hug and Rick crossed his arms again, his face now a little flushed in embarrasment.
"Don't do that again, you asshole." He grumbled. "I don't like it when you hug me."
"Sorry." Morty said, mostly meaning it. "Hugs always make me feel a lot better."
"Well I'm not you, Morty, and they m-m-make me uncomfortable."
"Sorry." He repeated. "But I-I still mean everything I said."
Rick pouted, turning away. Morty knew Rick was stubborn, and that he wasn't going to erase years of self-hatred and internalised ableism in a few minutes, but he hoped that one day Rick let him in enough to at least try.
"Okay, bye grandpa. Love you."
"Bye, asshole." Rick muttered back.
Love you too he thought, but didn't say.
+ extra
Rick had been in a shitty mood all day, and Morty could tell something was brewing under the surface, but he couldn't tell what until they were already on their way back home from grabbing some crystals from some drug planet Rick stole from all the time.
Usually Rick would be in high spirits after another succesful crystal-stealing mission, but today he just glared through the windshield, gripping the steering wheel tightly. Morty could tell that, despite his intense stare, he wasn't really paying too much attention, so it wasn't a huge shock when an large asteroid chunk flew into their field of vision and Rick didn't even try to swerve.
They crashed into the asteroid hard and an alarm started blaring, red rays flashing in the interior of the spaceship. Rick's hands flew over his ears, squeezing his eyes shut tightly.
Morty had seen this alarm go off several times, due to Rick's often reckless driving, and it usually didn't bother Rick very much at all, not warranting more than a curse and flipping the alarm off annoyedly.
Rick bit down on his knee hard as Morty hurried to shut down the alarm, Rick's hands moving into his hair and tugging when it was finally switched off.
Rick had a tendancy to hurt himself when he was overstimulated and it made Morty endlessly anxious. He searched desperately in the backseat for the noise cancelling headphones he'd given Rick and "forced him to wear" as Rick would say, but Morty could tell he appreciated it. Especially when he snatched them out of Morty's hands before he'd barely even handed them to him, shoving them onto his head agressively and clicking the button he'd added himself for improved noise cancellation, claiming the headphones were trash and that he'd had to modify them to make them at all a useful tool.
He slumped back in his chair with a sigh, his eyes were still shut but Morty could see the tears that had collected on his eyelashes.
"Do you want me to drive us back?" Morty asked, barely finishing the sentance before Rick was hitting the button that switched their chairs around so Morty would be in front of the wheel. Morty let out a small exclamation of surprise, but quickly took the wheel, putting the ship back on track.
Rick didn't say anything else for the short journey home, jumping out of the ship before it was even parked properly. Morty hurried to keep up with him as he unlocked the door. He stopped abruptly in the middle of the entryway and Morty almost crashed into him, managing to stop himself just in time.
"Thank you." Rick said gruffly, not giving Morty time to respond and just rushing off to his room.
Morty still smiled, though. He knew that was about as close as it got to his grandpa expressing affection.
"Love you too, Rick."
---
THE END IM CHEESEY OK I KNOW SORRY BYE
#idk how to write beth but i felt she was necessary to be included#beth my girlll#also i just hc that while morty is like always trying to be politically correct and all ethical hes sorta clueless abt things in practice#while summer is like Woke 😭 and she knows like a bunch of shit abt like queer topics and autism for whatever reason#so thats why shes the only family member that noticed that rick is autistic#i just feel like thats the vibe idk#finally got to employ that hc somewhere outside of my random daydreaming#sorry for the overuse of ellipses at the end btw 😭#alex says shit#rick and morty#rick sanchez#morty smith#autistic rick sanchez#beth smith#jerry smith#summer smith#rick and morty fanfiction#rnm fic#rick sanchez fanfic
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