#so the perfectionist in me is telling me not to do it haha | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sporesgalaxy · 10 months ago

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I know this is something u were probably asked before but as the guy that has a good relationship with art....how do you do that??? I mean I get that this question is vague but how do you not care if it looks bad? Do you just?? Keep on going till it looks like you want it to look? Despite the agonies? You seem like you enjoy talking abt this thats why im asking, dont feel the need to answer if u dont wanna

hmmmm. You know, I don't think about the agonies much these days. But it's not that I don't care. I guess I've become a freak who sees beauty in the agonies, sorta? It's kind of complicated! I will do my best to explain!

First of all, I know that I have the unfair advantage of having no ambition. I don't have a goal for my art besides making art when I feel like it. That makes it easy to be less judgemental-- I remember having a rockier relationship to my own art during the time when I thought I would make it my career.

This is why I like talking about my perspective, though!! I think it's important to try not to let yourself be consumed by self-criticism as an artist, even if self-criticism is necessary for you, and hopefully my carefree way of looking at things can help balance things out haha.

Anyways, ambition or not-- and I know how this sounds but bear with me-- art doesn't ever look bad.

(Barring ethically harmful art, ugh, I don't want to get into ethics so just-- surely you know what I mean!!!)

Art gets a lot less stressful if you can tell yourself that no art is bad, and remember the reasoning behind that until you really believe it. It isn't a fast process, but it's very worth the work.

The truth is that art either looks how you want it to look, or it looks different from the way you want it to look, but both are ultimately neutral. You CAN make art that looks different from what you wanted, that you still feel pleased with.

When art looks different from how you wanted, the gut reaction you have is often to call it bad or get frustrated. And of course it's frustrating! Maybe you feel it's not as effective at communicating something as you'd hoped, or you feel it's not as visually impactful as you imagined...but it's important to remember those things are only your perception. Not an objective fact. And art is a two-way street! A communication between creator and observer! And communication is really weird and complicated.

•••

Other people's perception of your work won't ever be exactly the same as yours. Sometimes this is desireable and sometimes it isn't! Maybe your art will communicate the thing better to someone than anything they've ever seen-- even if a more effective version could theoretically exist, the "imperfect" version that actually exists and communicates is all that matters to the observer. Or, maybe a feature that turned out exactly how you wanted it to will fly completely over an observer's head, and not have the effect you wanted at all. A lot of the time, you'll never even know.

An artist can NEVER fully control an observer's perspective, so at a certain point you have to live with what you have. You already do this, to some degree, if you have ever EVER decided to stop working on a piece of art and share it. You can always keep adding to something. You can always keep editing. But sometimes, you stop. And perfection doesn't exist, so when you stop it must be because the art is good enough for now. And nothing about "good enough" is objective!

And is that really so bad? Surely people who grow fruit understand that a fruit which is smaller than they imagined can still feed somebody-- that at the very least it will feed bugs and microorganisms and be useful as fertilizer to grow more apples. Your art still means something, still accomplishes something, is still worth making whether it turns out how you imagined or not.

A lot of art is learning when to quit and move on. As a habitual perfectionist, this was something I had to learn early, to stop myself from erasing holes into every piece of paper I drew on.

There's this rule I was taught in middle school drama class: if you fuck up, act like you didn't fuck up. The audience doesn't have your script memorized, so odds are they won't have any idea you fucked up unless you tell them. Other art works the same way. No one knows what you wanted to make but you. And more importantly, a "perfect" version of your art doesn't exist (no "perfect" version of anyone's art exists, or ever will).

The version you made exists, so you have to find what's worth loving about that version. You have found what's worth loving in the imperfect art of others many times. Many observers will treat your art the same way you treat others' art. Why not treat your own art that way, too?

It sounds really REALLY corny, but I try not to think of this as embracing "mistakes." I think of it as celebrating coincidences.

I really really like coincidences. I like that every circumstance wasn't guaranteed to happen, that everything comes down to chance. I think all the little random things are beautiful because they turned out however they did, and not any of the millions of other ways things might have turned out. It's a coincidence that my genes expressed the way they did. It's a coincidence that my parents met in college. It's a coincidence that my oldest friend and I both got to middle school early every day, and stayed close even when we didn't share any classes.

Art is full of coincidences! I try to draw a straight line. The line does not turn out straight, because of the way my hand is shaped and the way my muscles contracted, because my body is not exactly like anyone else's in the world. No one else would have drawn that slightly not-straight line just exactly how I did. It's mine, and it's crookedness is what makes my art mine. Okay, maybe it's a little too crooked for what I want this time-- I'll erase it and draw a new crooked line at a bit of a different angle. There we go, I like that! Now it's my beautiful, irreplaceable crooked line! And the ghost of its predecessor guides the eye just so, and no one else's two crooked lines would guide your eye the same way, only mine! Isn't that nice on its own? Just to have made something that can't ever be replicated? To have made something no one else has ever made before?

You can also apply this in a bit less dreamy and more practical ways, I promise haha.

For example...I've never been a canvas flipper, as a digital character artist. I don't mirror my canvases to see if they still look preportional to me from either direction. I also don't usually draw visual novel character sprites that need to look good mirrored in either direction to serve their function, so it's never been a practical concern of mine.

I consider many kinds of distortion on a character I've drawn to be a good part of the visual flow of the image. Like a smear frame in animation, distoriton in the right places can make character art look dynamic and energized because it can lead the eye through a certain visual flow over the form of the character. If I were to flip the canvas, that eye-leading effect might hit differently because my American eye is used to reading from left to right-- perhaps it doesn't feel as "smooth" going in the opposite direction. This doesn't mean I need to change the distortion necessarily, it just means I prefer not to flip the canvas.

Often, these distortions aren't intentional. They're a coincidence of how my muscles move as I draw, and the areas my left-to-right American eyeballs instinctively pay more attention to. But the effect is still desireable to me. So, happy coincidence!

I think...that's the best I've got for now? Feel free to ask for clarification. I hope it's not total nonsense!

#asks #art tips

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humanpurposes · 2 months ago

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Just wanted to pop in and tell you how much I’m loving August! Do you have any modern Aemond series’s you’d recommend I read while I (patiently) wait for the next chapter? ;)

Thank you so much! That really means a lot, I love to know people are liking this fic <3 And thanks for waiting patiently haha. I absolutely do have some reccomendations!

First and foremost, THEE summer Aemond fic, Our Last Summer by @sapphire-writes

Another summer romance with immaculate vibes, The Way I Feel Under Your Command by @adragonprinceswhore

More old money summer vibes, A Refined Taste by @theoneeyedprince

For complicated feelings, Time Can't Stop Me Quite Like You Did by @randomdragonfires this the Normal People of Aemond fics

Also A Perfect Score by @targaryenrealnessdarling for all the perfectionist, competitive, FigureSkater!Aemond needs

Would recommend anything these lovely people have written. Go through their masterlists and go crazy. I also have a #fic recs tag on my blog if you wanna go through that.

#inbox #fic recs

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roxyzwritez · 4 months ago

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au writing shit idk

heres the Rough Plan for my first few eps:

ep1: the au branches off of canon in the final SU ep, Change Your Mind. renamed to Change Your World. when white yoinks the gem out of steven and pinksteven reforms and whiteasks W H E R E I S P I N K the response is something along the lines of "i am right here, but fuck you im not talking to you." (girlboss) and white gets the "im a child, what's your problem" and has the perfectionist meltdown, then steven's like "sorry but we gotta head out" and they're like "PINK WHAT THE FUCK?" steven goes "im not pink just leave earth alone" the gems agree and give steven The Legs™️.

pearl latches onto the idea that rose is still alive in there. (didn't write that tho just had it cut to this next bit oops) her and greg build a thing to connect to the gem that will essentially connect to pink/rose im just gonna call her rose damnit and allow her to communicate w everyone. shes like "...hey guys. uh. sorry for trying to kill myself i guess that didn't work but i have been minecraft spectating steven for the entirety of his existence with no ability to do anything but think and watch" pearl has a lesbian implosion, everyone's all happy n shit. steven eventually asks about the lying and she's like "yeag i done bad there. i just wanted to keep you guys together" (now that i think abt it there was no mention of bismuth here.. oops,) garnet gives her a Garnet Specil motivational speech and she's like "i missed you too garnet" (i forgot to mention, garnet violently explode-unfuses and ruby+sapphire are just bumbling with happy when rose spoke) amethyst has her own moment (she thought this was all bullshit and started playing fortnite upstairs but between games she heard rose and a p p e a r e d)

anyway rose then is thinking "oh man i gotta talk to so many ppl" and realizes eh guys nothing to worry abt just a HAPPY TO LISTEN, HAPPY TO STAY, HAPPILY WATCHING HER DR- but we should go there NOW" so they do, spinel is understandably distraught and breaks the gemspeaker in half but feels bad about it. she comes with the gang to earth, they show her around, a new gemspeaker is made and they reconcile. yippy! also spinel ate one of ALL. big donut flavors. sadie allowed this just for on e because steven is the LORD AND SAVIOR OF THE STEVEN UNIVERSE haha funny.

anyway she and bismuth talk. bis is kinda like "yeah i wasnt very gamer sorry about that herhee" again ignoring that SHE lied about the bubbling, conveniently forgot to explore that conversation for ease of writing and so i didn't need to go "how do i utilize my 2 iq points to channel these characters and get them to have a coherent, consistent to character conversation about this situation"

peri and lapis are called over by bismuth who doesn't say shit to them for the surprise. lapis is like "yeah ok hit me" peri is more curious. rose speaks, peridot fangirls and lapis is like "oh shit that's historically significant " peri is like "I NEED TO RESEARCH:)))" and runs off. spoiler: gem cloning

bis brings up the idea. rose is like "yeah that sounds legit" (the gem cloning conundrum took me way too long to understand. i drove my friend crazy. "hey can u explain every single quantum detail of this in the most verbose way i dont understand" but eventually i understood it JUUUUST enough to write it lmao i still don't get it)

rose n steven talk in roses room. all happy n shit. greg is told abt the plan and hes like oh shit i gotta clean up and steven is like "you know her standards. she don't give a shit" hes like "yeag"

peri makes progress! she made a little clump!! (explaining the gem cloning: theyre making essentially an empty gem with the powers but no consciousness inside. when its ready, white will take steven's gem out again, rose reforms, and the new gem gets ever so graciously stabbed into his belly where the old one was.)

peri tells steven its gonna take a year. he's like "well okay better than like hundreds of years" then he goes off to talk to the diamonds. he brings the speaker with. rose lets out the thousands of years of distrust and anger at the dismonds and they are humbled even more than when they got pinkd and rose is like "you WILL heal all the shattered ones i don't give a shit" and theyre like "whatever you say little one" (yes they do indeed heal the fallen. probably with regular shipments of steven fluid. that sounded wrong but im not a freak like that hes still 14)

also they go back home and steven talks to rose abt "you told the diamonds you literally wanted to die are you fr?" she explains and hes like YOU FATHERFUCKER, YOU ARE AMAZING AND YOU CAN'T DO THAT (crying)"

next episode is just year-long filler but i made it actually good by making it essentially a montage of lapis and peri in the barn becoming lesbian for eachother. finally, a controversial move on my part, they decide to overcome lapis's fear of fusion and fuse for stevens birthday. their fusion is turquoise (took way too long coming up with a fucking name) and can corrode (water + metal) and can morph/control metal (liquify n stuff. definitely not taken from a lapidot fusion concept i found on google images.) garnet is like "hey pearl look at these silly lesbians " pearls like "damn relatable" garnets like "yeag"

a week or a few after the bday, the gem is finally ready. everyone is excited until steven asks how this is gonna work. peri is like UHHHHH... 😊 and lapis is just "eh just take that one out, stick this one in!" peri goes NNNO- but after some damage control and telling everyone steven will be fine hes like "well i better get some good sleep then. big day!"

there's more but im done typing my fingers are about to go peridot and fuckin fly away let me know if you want the like 1other episode and the minisode after that

#too much WORSD

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ihopesocomic · 4 months ago

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Sorry for the mini-essay but I think people massively underestimate how much hard work and dedication goes into a Passion Project. People think that creators who make free content, who do their work as a hobby and not as a job, must only get enjoyment out of it.

That’s not how it works. Doing it purely because you want to doesn’t automatically make the more challenging, frustrating, or (gasps) TIME CONSUMING parts of the project any less burdensome. If anything, it makes it worse because you aren’t being paid for all of that labor. You’re just doing it for the sake of doing it, and as rewarding as it can be, it can also be demanding.

Im finally publishing a fanfic for the first time and don’t get me wrong, it’s been great to get feedback on my work and interact with a community. I love that there are usernames and profile pictures I can actually identify because they’re regulars on my work.

But does that mean I don’t have to constantly redo work because I don’t like how it turned out? No. Does that mean I always update on time? No. Never get burnout? No. I still very much go through all of the things paid writers do, because the Creative Process is difficult and demanding no matter what they paycheck is or isn’t.

And all of that is just if you guys WERE missing updates, which you’re NOT. So like… these complaints are not only very entitled and ignorant, but also just confusing. People really just be mad for the sake of being mad, I guess?

Anyways yeah, free content creators are still content creators, and passion-driven hard work is still hard work. You two are cranking out absolutely STUNNING visuals, compelling characters and engaging worldbuilding every single week and that’s amazing. Thank you for your hard work and I’m sorry about the twerps that don’t appreciate it enough!

Ah the price we pay for being human and having a brain, amirite haha

It's to be expected, to a certain point, that people simply don't understand that things like comics and cartoons take time. General impatience is something that can be ignored. If people asking for updates bothered us, we wouldn't post anywhere ever haha You gotta have at least SOME backbone if you want to do a comic. Or anything really.

Comics are a TON of work, and I knew this going in cuz I've done shorter comics before. It is not to be treated as if its easy. (Well, its easier than animating a whole series by yourself LOL) There's a lot of pre-comic planning that people don't tell you about. And that's just the stuff you have to do before you even start drawing. Of course this only applies to long-form storytelling, there's different rules for different kinds of comics.

And I won't even get into what it takes to making the comic itself, there's a lot of parts that need to be considered like formatting, time-management, what shortcuts you have to take to save on labor, and getting across as much information as you can in a short amount of time, while using mostly visuals. It's a skill, so it can be learned haha

A lot of doing comics is on-the-job training. Which I know can be frustrating for perfectionists, but from a reader's perspective, part of the joy of webcomics is seeing how far the art has come. And you can't exactly get out a webcomic if you keep redoing things over and over. You'll burn yourself out even faster. This is why it's important to have a plan lol it just makes it easier to adjust if you have to change things, than if you have no plan at all.

Even if RJ and I for whatever reason no longer felt passionate about this story, and wanted to move on to something else entirely, we wouldn't leave everyone hanging. We'd tell everyone what happens one way or another. Because too many people just abandon a story just to tell another one, and that's not fair to people who were here to read a story that appealed to them.

But the entitlement of people sucks, the constant heckling, the fact we can't moderate our own comment section, and more importantly Webtoons just sucks as a site anyway. - Cat

#ask #ask us stuff #cat answers #general comic stuff

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vintagelacerosette · 1 month ago

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Art Tag 🖼🎨💕

I was tagged by these talented magnificent artist thanksss 💕

Molly @deathclassic Julissa @heymrspatel Deanna @deedala Ice @spookygingerr Ling @lingy910y

Have you always been interested in creating art? Yes, I was that kid in high school doodling anime girls throughout class lol

What's your favourite medium to use? I really like digital for the infinite undo button with my perfectionist ass lmao & I'm using Clip Studio. Paper art has been quite therapeutic for me too

Do you create outside of fandom? Yes

Share something you haven't finished and/or never got around to posting

I made a tribute to our Gallacrafts zine, but at the time, the mods had changed, so I was gonna create a companion piece. I didn't get around to it & then the mods had changed again 😅

Some OG crafting overlords Rhys @smokey-mickey Leah @whatwouldmickeydo Donna @sleepyfacetoughguy

I also have gallacrafts I haven't completed for really old themes, but I do still wanna post lol

Favourite piece you've made? Toss up between my gallacrafts Pride 2 piece (see piece that has most notes question) or my 2024 gallavich valentines/my icon

Draw your icon in a minute or less

You get the gist lmao

An underrated piece you've made in your opinion

A little bit to thus This collection of missing posters with the mixed media.

Do you do art in a professional setting? No, but I wanted to. I studied Visual Arts with a major in screen arts in university tho. Uni wasn't what I wanted my plan was to do animation, but, plans fell through

A piece you don't like but did really well on social media

This. The portions are wack basic background, Ian's face feels off & I rushed this

Post an old piece and compare it to your most recent, what are the similarites?

Wow pretty good that I get to compare these two lol. Still got the star motif & the way I'm drawing bodies is has improved yay! Look at that looooong squiggly pointing arm

Have you ever collaborated with another artist/s? Yes, with the lovely & super talented Ling @lingy910y I couldn't have as for a better first time collab partner 🫶🏼 Would love to collab more 🥰

What piece has the most notes? Are you surprised?

This one has the most notes for hand drawn art & the other is my most notes for art/crafts in general. I'm pretty proud these are top dogs & pleasantly surprised with the Deleted scenes one 😄

Who/What is your favourite subject matter? Our boys but also when I'm acrylic painting I'm loving painting clouds & sunset/sunrise skies hues

Show us something not from fandom you've made

I've been experimenting with acrylic paints after getting inspired by a sparkling water painting I saw on tumblr & here are some cute cows I drew for Leah

Where do you like to create? There's a table in the lounge room that's very spacious, has good light & a cart with a stash of my art supplies. But I wanna migrate back to my room bc I got a new big desk there to keep my mess away lol

Do you have a tag that you use to group your creations? Tell us so people can follow it. It's under Myn's art

Give yourself a shoutout, where can we commission/buy/follow you for more pieces? I don't sell my art or do commissions, but I kinda have some drawings I do love & toy with the idea of making postcards or have it on a mug

I'll tag sensational & inspiring artist if they wanna play 💖

@suzy-queued @tsuga-of-mars @samantitheos @burninface @darthvaders-wife @psychicskulldamage @michellemisfit @sgtmickeyslaughter @mickittotheman @y0itsbri @friend-bear @matt404b @takeyourpillsbitchh @michellemisfit @mikhailoisbaby @mikcrymilkovich

#tag game #Art tag #Myn's art #gallavich fanart

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once-in-a-blood-moon · 8 months ago

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Obey Me Boys as Band Kids

Please note that these are personal things I've noticed in my time as a former band kid, and is not meant to be taken too seriously. I love all the sections equally and all the weirdos in them, haha. Anyways, go band kids! 💪

Inspired by the new event coming out! 🤗

Lucifer is a trumpet player. He’s got one of the biggest egos in the band and plays loud and proud even if he’s wrong (which is rare). Lucifer is that kid that takes his instrument home every single day to practice and shows off the next day. Takes band seriously, and is very popular among his peers. Mad that he didn’t get drum major position, but never shows it when asked.

Mammon plays snare drum. Literally could use what’s left of his brain cells rattling around in his head instead. A troublemaker, probably gets betted to do stupid things every other week, which just causes more stress for the drum major and the band director. Though it makes for good stories later. One of the weakest marchers, loses the beat halfway and is now marching right, left, right…

Leviathan is a sax player, do not tell me he’s not. Most of the sax players I knew were NERDS, so dorky, but some of the funniest people you will ever meet. They’re either really popular or terribly socially inept, Levi falls on the socially inept spectrum. He’s not too serious, but not a total blowoff in the band. He plays super quiet out of fear of playing wrong, but if there’s a song he likes, he gets really into it. Probably one of those guys that puts the whole reed in his mouth and swishes it around to wet it as everyone else is appalled by it.

Satan is the drum major (me too 😊). Responsible and stressed, cordial with all, friendly with some. He knows the ins and outs of everything going on within the band, whether it’s gossip, inside jokes, the literal music itself (that’s a given), etc. He probably has little pow-wows with the section leaders where he gets his information, specifically the colorguard captain. Has a solid connection with the drumline.

Asmo is captain of the colorguard! Gossip and drama, and part of the band's discount Keeping Up With the Kardashians show (I swear that’s what it’s like). He’s a perfectionist, probably stays late after school to practice his routines. Has a meltdown at the smallest mistake, yells at others when they mess up. He’s definitely hit someone with a flag because they were in his way or in the wrong spot, iykyk.

Beel is a tuba player. He probably keeps to himself, maybe befriending the trombone or trumpet players and opening up a little there. His mom brings the band snacks and food for games. New to band so he’s learning how to play and march properly. Still hasn’t learned to suck in his cheeks when he plays.

Belphie is a clarinet player (also me 💅). He’s probably a squeaker. Makes hard eye-contact with the drum major as he licks his reed wet with a sly grin just to mess with them. He’s a great player, he just needs to be louder, no one can hear him. Leans on his clarinet when his eyes get droopy when he’s sitting down.

Diavolo is in the drumline, probably a bass or quad player. If he’s a quad player, there will never be a time you won’t hear him playing. Every five seconds he’s playing some part of the cadence, and somehow the rest of the drumline joins in. If he’s a bass player, he’s just a derpy guy who’s just there for a good time. Joins the tromboners in their mischief and jokes.

Barbatos gives pit energy to me, think marimba and bells. He quietly practices in the back, waving his mallets over the notes so he doesn’t disturb anyone. Very attentive to the drum major and band director when they speak, never has an outburst of any kind. He’s responsible, and timely when preparing for a show. Probably keeps the drumline in check though. (Also plays cymbals during parades).

Simeon is a flute player, specifically piccolo. He’s a beast on that thing, and so loud (watch your ears). Gossips and chats with the clarinet section, is an honorary member of that section too. I bet he has that flute pinky thing, iykyk.

Solomon is… *sighs* a trombone player… He’s one of the guys in the back making “that’s what she said'' jokes when the director says something that can be twisted that way. Makes the whole band crack up at his funny quips. He’s a skilled marcher and is incredibly dedicated to the band. Sometimes empties his spit valve on other people’s shoes just to mess with them (think Lucifer specifically).

Luke is an aspiring trumpet player! He’s doing his best, so cheer him on when you can. One of those insecure, doesn’t want to be too loud trumpet players. But you can never be too loud…unless it says pianissimo…

#slightly rushed sorry if i missed anything #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me luke #jo's thoughts

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dialovers-translations · 2 years ago

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DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE CHARACTER SONG Vol.9 KISS♥MARK by Sakamaki Shuu Mini Drama “Mark of Ownership”

Original title: 所有の刻印

Source: Diabolik Lovers CHARACTER SONG Vol. 9 Mini Drama

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Toriumi Kousuke

Translator’s note: This has to be one of my favorite mini dramas from this series so far. It was a bit shorter than some of the other ones, but I thought the plot of having the MC cut Shuu’s hair was rather endearing. Especially since she got so into it near the end. Although I have to agree with Shuu that she took an awfully long time just to cut his bangs. The man even managed to squeeze a nap in there. :p When I go to the hairdresser just to have my bangs trimmed, I’m in an out of there in like five minutes.

“...Oiーー!”

...

“Hey, you over there!”

You look around.

“Over here, look...I’m loafing around on the couching.”

You walk towards the sofa.

“Ah, stop right there. There’s a pair of scissors inside that shelf. I want you to grab those and bring them here.”

*Clunk*

You grab the scissors and walk over to the couch.

“Cut my bangs with those. Reiji’s been giving me shit about how I’m ‘violating the rules of well-kept hair’ all day, I can’t even sleep in peace as a result. It’s too much of a bother though, so I want you to do it in my place. I don’t want to have to lift a single finger. ...If you don’t want to cut them, you go shut up Reiji instead.”

You frown.

“If you don’t want, then hurry up and cut my bangs.”

You seem hesitant and suggest he does it himself.

“Hah...? What makes you think I’d do it myself? Were you listening to me just now? I don’t want to have to do anything. I don’t care about the length. Just go with whatever seems fine to you.”

You shake your head.

“You can’t...? Haah...I’m asking you to do it, so get to it already.”

*Rustle*

“I’ll at least do you the favor of sitting up.”

You are clearly very nervous to cut his hair.

“What’s wrong? Your hands are quivering?”

You explain.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t care about the length? Just cut them to your liking since you’re the one who has to see my face every day. If you keep on stalling...I’m going to hurt you with those scissors.”

*Snip*

“...! Oi...! Don’t tug onto my hair that strongly, it hurts!”

You apologize.

*Snip snip snip*

*Rustle*

“...Haah? Turn my head to the side? Can’t you change positions instead?”

You walk to the side.

*Snip snip*

“Heeh...What’s this? Seems like you’re pretty into this.”

You tell him not to move.

“Haah? ‘Don’t move’, you say? Don’t order me around.”

*Snip snip*

“Haah...What a drag...”

*Snip snip*

“I’m going to take a nap real quick, so just take care of the reest, okay?”

*Rustle*

Shuu dozes off.

*Snip snip*

*TIMESKIP*

“Zzー ... Zzー ...”

*Snip snip*

“Nn...Nnh...”

*Rustle*

“What...? You’re done...? I don’t need to take a look in the mirror. No need to confirm how it looks.”

You show him either way.

“Haah...Are you trying to pester me by showing a mirror to a Vampire? I mean, not that it actually has any effect.”

You ask if he’s satisfied with the look.

“Mm...This’ll do. You’re done. Now qmove aside and go away already. ...Anyway, is this really all you managed to get done in that time? Did you cut it strand by strand or something?”

You explain.

“You lost track of time while trying to get it to look as even as possible on both sides? ...Heehー You’re surprisingly perfectionistic.”

You ask to keep going.

“Hah? You want to fix up a couple more things? ...Honestly, give you an inch and you take a yard.”

Shuu suddenly pins you down.

*Cling*

“Didn’t you hear me earlier when I said we’re done here...?”

*Rustle rustle*

“If you want to be of use to me that badly, let me tell you then. There is only one thing you could ever do for me. ...Right?”

*Rustle*

“Haha...Come on...Be quiet and give me your blood.”

Shuu bites you.

“Nn...Nnh...”

*Rustle rustle*

“...Hah. ...Haah. Look at you trying to seduce me with that face. Haha...”

*Rustle*

“Did you really think you could just leave without doing anything in return after you got to cut away at part of my body...?”

He leans in close.

“You got to have your fun with me, so now it’s your turn to entertain me...”

You wriggle around.

*Rustle*

“Oi...Don’t move. ...Hah. Just like you claim to have cut my hair in utmost detail I’ll make sure to suck your blood in the same way...Doesn’t that make you feel happy? ...Hahn...”

*Gulp*

“Nnh...The blood’s oozing out...Haha...”

You protest.

“Haah? ‘Stop’...? No way...I’m nowhere near done yet.”

You ask him when he’ll be done.

“Good question. I have no idea how long this’ll take. I’ll be taking my sweet time making little adjustments until there’s the bite marks on your neck are in perfect balance. ...Just like you got so nitpicky about my bangs...No, I think I might even take it a step further.”

*Rustle*

“Nn...”

*Gulp*

“Mmh...”

*Rustle rustle*

“Nn...Hah...I’ll make sure it ends up just to my liking. Hahaha...”

ーー THE END ーー

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #shuu sakamaki #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

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danieyells · 6 months ago

Note

Hello there! Not an anon that you know, but someone with something to share or ask.

After seeing some things about Yuri from Tokyo debunker, a part of me can’t stop but think about one quote from Princess Caroline:

“You just want a ‘Mommy’ you can slide your d*** in and out of!”

I don’t know why this keeps popping up in my head every time I see Yuri and the mama situation. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I am a bit concerned about the story in that dorm specifically. 😅

Hello new anon! o/

OH BOY I LOVE EXPLAINING THINS lmao /sincere) So to be extremely fair. The degree to which the mommy thing is gonna happen is entirely unknown lol SO FAR IT'S HAPPENED TWICE AND NEITHER WAS REALLY IN THE STORY ITSELF. We're just having fun goofing, Yuri's main notable trait is largely "haughty doctor performs questionable experiments on dubiously willing participants". We're just having a little fun with the mama thing. U: It's 98% fanon.

The canon bit we're playing off of is that he accidentally almost calls the player 'mama' once in a non-story line of dialogue at high enough affection, and says goodbye to 'mama'(the pc is the only one present but it isn't necessarily directed at them so much as his real mother) in a pre-prologue part of the game that's implied to be the end of the game, and you only get this line of dialogue if you choose him(which gives you his SR for you to start the game with.)" WE REALLY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY HE SAYS IT. HE'S BEEN IN THE MAIN STORY LIKE ONCE SO FAR AND IT DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING WE'VE EXPERIENCED OF HIM SO FAR.

As for a mommy he can put his dick in. . .well, we don't kinkshame here :3c and I mean if his actual mommy isn't available he can make find a new one! No problems with that!! But that is an accurate statement for the mama thing, anon lmaooooo

I think Mortkranken's chapter will probably be a bit more focused on the pc's curse and learning about curses and anomalous illnesses. Maybe some views into Jiro's history and whether or not Zenji turns out to be his brother, and maybe learning a little about The Clash. . .and obviously we might hear a little about Yuri's history at some point, since I imagine he's going to be unhappy about the progress that isn't being made on the PC's curse and he hates/is afraid to have his patients die I think. The 'mama' thing is definitely going to come up, I think. That or it's gonna be a long time before we learn what's going on there lmao.

However we haven't seen the story of Mortkranken's dorm at all yet, so we don't know the story there either haha. Assuming we don't get a break between Obscuary and Mortkranken, we'll see the Mortkranken chapter July 25th?

I can try and go over what little we do know about Mortkranken though!

Mortkranken is essentially the medical house in Darkwick. Everyone there studies and works in varying kinds of medical specialties, particularly anomalous medicine. (If you don't know at all, "anomalies" are anything considered outside the realm of common sense--so anything from ghosts to curses to demons to monsters and whatever else. Anomalous medicine focuses on the healing of illnesses caused by anomalies or using anomalous sources for medical purposes, as far as we can tell.)

Mortkranken's dorm advisor is professor Nicolas! He makes many of the medicines used on campus and available in the campus store himself. He makes all manner of remedies(including a dry skin remedy that Romeo uses.) According to Professor Hyde, he's great with a mortar and pestle, but terrible in a fight. Romeo(a greedy, perfectionist mafioso who's obsessed with his own apperance) calls him a "smiley old prude." He's been very nice so far!

The Dorm Captain of Mortkranken is Doctor Yuri Isami! Yes, the guy we gave a mommy kink.

So far what we know about Yuri for certain is that people find him pretty terrifying because he frequently experiments on anomalies and anyone he can get into his lab, especially other ghouls. He's excited by the ghouls being injured on missions. He loves classical music and constantly hums and sings loudly to whatever he's listening to. He's extremely self-assured and demands respect. He hates Frostheim(the dorm largely full of rich, powerful, influential people.) He attends all of his classes despite his self proclaimed genius. He claims he's the only legitimate doctor on campus, and thus that the health checks he and Jiro have to run on students are not worth his time when he should be doing more important things(but he does them anyway.) His sense of direction may be questionable? He frequently pulls all-nighters and sleeps on his operating table. He personally administers the treatments Jiro needs every day and stitches Jiro up himself. He's the only one who knows how to administer Jiro's treatments, so Jiro has to protect him on missions. He is terrible in a fight, so Jiro fights for him. His artifact appears to be a giant needle. His patients always keep their lives, although he can't promise nothing else about them won't be changed or lost.

Speculation: something happened to his mother, or she's in critical condition, and he somehow relates this to the player character, hence slipping up and calling her 'mama'.

Jiro Kirisaki is the Vice Captain of Mortkranken! If you follow me you may have seen the Jiro dub/noncon and force impregnation posts. . .not in character, just fun.

What we know for certain: was in an extended coma and thus no longer eats solids. His body is constantly in delicate condition and Yuri uses him as a test subject and bodyguard. He'll die without Yuri and needs four treatments from Yuri a day. He has wounds on his stomach that are stitched closed and occasionally bleed if a stitch breaks. He doesn't remember why he started studying anomalous medicine, just that he realized he had a knack for it and kept going one day. He likes reading medical journals. He makes confectionaries now and then because he finds the process of following exact measurements and recipes similar to making medicine. He didn't have attachment to food, clothing, or shelter as a child and he doesn't think much of them now either. Working with Yuri in Mortkranken is the only work environment he's ever been in so it hadn't occurred to him that staying up for multiple nights in a row for work was abnormal. He doesn't have the best understanding of normal social customs. He doesn't remember what having a family is like. He's extremely intelligent and humble. His artifact is a chainsaw, but it's shit at cutting stuff.

Speculation: Zenji Kotodama(a ghoul from the house of Hotarubi who died during The Clash but lingers as a ghost unaware to most) might be his brother.

All in all we don't know a ton about them at the moment besides what we've gleaned from the non-story things available to us atm. 99% of what you've seen has been fanon inspired by something unexpected lol sorry if it's been confusing for you!

#mortkranken #yuri isami #danie yells at tokyo debunker #danie yells with anons #danie yells answers

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clara-maybe-ontheroad · 5 months ago

Text

Growing up I was not good at anything manual. I was clumsy and messy (two left hands and ten thumbs as we would say), with poor hand eye coordination, was generally a bit brusque and impatient (got called an elephant in a porcelain shop pretty often), and because of that I was never good at drawing or painting. So I didn't like it, because I felt like I was so much worse at it than other kids.

I was good at drawing rainbows though, or to be more exact I liked it because it meant I would spend most of my time aligning the pencils or markers I had so they would form the perfect gradient of colour I wanted. I could only get started if I was sure I had the perfect colour plan ready.

Needless to say, I didn't do any painting or drawing once I became a teenager. And as I grew up and developed so much love for art, it became just another thing I could admire but knew I couldn't do myself. And let's be honest, I was a bit jealous of people who could.

When I met my girlfriend, I fell in love with how creative she is. First her music, then her writing, and then how all encompassing her creativity is. And I was inspired by her endeavours, while also still being a bit envious.

The most important thing she helped me realise though, is that I wasn't even trying. Any time I mentioned being inspired by something she was doing and wanting to do it myself, she would just reply that I could. Even as a perfectionist herself, she was encouraging me to just let go, say fuck it and try. And I admire that about her.

So recently, I impulsively suggested we do a paint date. And I had to go out and buy stuff to paint, but as I was setting out I already knew I wanted to try watercolour. It just felt right, like it was what I wanted to do, play with colours again, because that was always what I liked most.

And tonight I tried it, and guess what ? It was just fun. It was play. It was discovering how colours change when you mix them. It was looking at water move and gather on the paper, it was figuring out the power of the brush in my hand. It was very simple and unpretentious, with no expectation of results, and that was just fun !!

This post isn't to tell an incredible story of discovering my true passion or becoming a great artist. It's just about listening to yourself when you want to play, and giving yourself the space to just try things, even the ones you've thought you're bad at for your whole life.

Because who knows ? Maybe you're good, maybe you're bad, but if you do it because it's fun, who the fuck cares. It's worth it.

Anyway I know what I'm going to do when I'm bored in the train now ! YouTube tutorials here I come haha

#painting #watercolour art #just for funsies #beginner artist #though ... not an artist #just trying to play again

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psylunari · 9 months ago

Note

For the ship ask game: kunikidazai, suegiku, atsulucy

NOTE: the post will be long as heck. I'll keep reblogging for every ship addition till I finish.

I'll preface this by saying, yes! I do ship all of these!

Kunikidazai

(nervous chuckle) buckle up, buttercup.

1. What made you ship it?

TL;DR: ironically enough, writing it made them take over my brain.

Mid-tier answer: It wasn't one specific thing. I watched the show and had 1 (one) plot bunny one year later (my most-read BSD fic). I was writing a MHA OC/canon thing at the time. While passionate about that OC/canon, it was a difficult fic, and I put it on hold.

Writing that knkdz fic proved itself easier. It was flowing. It forced me into a deep dive in their dynamic. The result is what you see.

Long answer: it took me 10+ years in fandom (legit) to like m/m ships. So it's kinda hard?? To watch things with m/m tinted glasses. AKA deliberately looking for m/m chemistry, or interpreting it always that way, or making it up in my head if I can't find it. If I come across a ship, I came across a ship. And I'm the same for any ship.

During my first watch of bongo straycats, I didn't ship much of anything. I looked at those two and went, “yeah, they're haha funny, if I were to ship something it'd probably be this”. I was done with the three seasons out, then, I “forgot” BSD.

I mean. Not that I forgot. I was in-between fandom phases with other stuff. So I didn't pay “the popular ships” much mind. They were there. A thing that existed. I didn't care for them.

Then it went like:

“Hey, I could use some change in my life, lemme style my hair like this anime twink.” “Fic idea for haha funny ship. What if instead of disappearing to commit the die, the anime twink was sick and didn't tell anyone?” ?????? “It is a CRIME that THIS dynamic is on the unpopular side, I'm declaring myself in knkdz hell till further notice and will do something about it.”

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

TL;DR: they are multifaceted, their relationship is a deep rabbit hole of symbolism, and a blast to write about.

Superficial answer: complementary personalities + look good together + attractive + hilarious banter + suspicious moments + annoyances to lovers.

Heartfelt answer: I look at them from a complete perspective. Never one without the other, never caricatures of themselves. There's the caring domestic side, the dumb disagreements, the synergy and mutual respect, the defiance of internal values, the angst past and present… They are complex. The more you dig, the more you find. It's entertaining. It made the brain go brrrrr.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

It isn't often I come across interpretations I disagree with. Dedicated knkdz shippers and I are mostly in the same wavelength. My unpopular opinion, however, boils down to “I interpret both as some flavor of bisexual, not gay” and “mischaracterization”.

Will elaborate on the latter.

On Kunikida: headcanon as the fandom might, IMO, this guy isn't confident about love and sex. Let alone super liberated.

Picture this. Inexperienced + perfectionist + “dear diary, today I dreamt of my perfect wife” + “do girls not like me because I'm a nerd?” = pretty romantic, huh? And out of touch with reality.

Don't get me wrong. He does have carnal desires or kinks, I feel. I see him as shy and easy to fluster in the beginning. He takes time to relax and do his thing, being his own biggest critic.

On Dazai: he isn't helpless and definitely has an edge. I have a catboy agenda to set. Think like a cat's claws. Can and will scratch if unhappy, they're part of him, do not declaw the catboy. The feetsies are soft and adorable. They're also a part of him.

In the love aspect: when he LIKES someone, Dazai goes “brain.exe has stopped working” and does/says the stupidest shit. I think he orbits them out of no idea how to deal with it. Staying in the same space, wanting closure, not asking for it. Literal cat behavior again.

Now, in sex matters, he's shameless for… the most part. Not vulnerable all the time. He can flirt when it's for meaningless flings. What IMO WOULD make him cry is emotional stuff. Which may be tied to a sexual moment. Just not necessarily.

#kunikidazai #kunidazai #kunizai #knkdz #kndz #kunikida x dazai #dazai x kunikida #国太 #太国 #bsd kunikida doppo #bsd dazai osamu #psyluna.ask

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a-soft-hornytiny · 2 years ago

Text

Competition of hearts.

Summary: Working together with a competitor in a competition sounded like nonsense to you. Why should you risk losing your perfect score? At least that's what you thought before a tall golden boy made his way into your heart.

Word count: 4.5k+

Genre: Not sure tbh slight hurt comfort, mostly fluff, a bit suggestive in the middle haha

Pairing: Yunho x neutral!reader

Warnings: y/n's actions can be a bit annoying, making out, light fighting, a lot of nonsense (let me know if i missed something) be careful while reading.

Notes: ok wow, this is the longest story ive written on here. Half of it has been chilling in my drafts for like a year xD this is the story i published a teaser for ages ago and i finally had the motivation to finish it! I hope yall like it. Im not sure with it because long fics are not my specialty haha

Taglist: after the cut (let me know if you wanna be added)

-----------------------------------------------------

Dance was your dream. There was nothing you loved more than giving in to the rhythm and letting your body move along the beat. And there has never been something you wanted to do more.

So when all of your school friends decided to go to university, you went your own way.

Yes sure, you could’ve studied dance. You could’ve gone to college. But you had enough of school and learning and exams and all of that stuff.

And after running around and auditioning for all kinds of dance academies and dance studios, you got street casted through one of your free shows. It was nothing big. You always wandered around, a speaker in your pocket, settled down in a random place and started to dance.

It was simple and you wanted nothing for it.

But it eventually got you a step closer to your dream.

Ever since you were small, you participated in competitions. You loved being seen. Loved being in the spotlight. The applause made your heart beat faster and completely filled you with euphoria.

And that was how you earned your first money. The first rewards and prices were small, fit for kids and teens, but the older you got, the bigger the prizes for winning were. And after leaving school, you did nothing but train, work part-time and fight for 1st place.

But at one point you slowly realised that you needed a sponsor to get into better competitions. They didn’t accept you anymore and you couldn’t even pay the entry fees. And that was hard because you had tried getting into academies and other dance focused companies. But you were rejected.

Until that one day this lady came up to you after you finished your street-performance, handing you her card and telling you that you should call her. Which you did.

“What do you mean “collaboration”? Where is the competition if you have to work together?” You croaked after hearing the alighting news.

About a week ago, you had entered a pretty anticipated competition which costed a lot of time and money to get into. Many famous dance academies and companies sent their best representatives to compete and you were one of them.

Your company was by no means big or famous but when you told them about the competition and especially about the winning prizes, they helped you to get into it. And you did really well.

You passed the first four rounds at ease and you had to acknowledge that you weren’t the only one there that would deserve to win but you were confident in your skill and completed every stage with perfection. Because you danced alone.

“It’s part of the competition! What do you wanna do? Leave?” Your manager and friend aka the lady that casted you on the street, bit back at you.

You had always danced alone. Even though you knew that collaborations were a thing and you would probably have to do one in the future you always avoided them and buried that thought deep inside.

Being the perfectionist you were, you couldn’t handle it when anything was out of your control. Especially when it came to dance. You had control over your body. That was why you could go up on stage so confidently. Because everything that happens there would be in your control, and if you made a mistake, which you hardly did, that would be your own fault.

“No of course not! But why are they doing this?! If they do it in pairs they would have two winners!” You knew that complaining wouldn’t change anything but you needed to let go of your anger while you were still coping with the idea of a collab inside of your head.

You would have at least appreciated some warning, some time to think about it. But instead they decided to inform you on the day you should be starting to work on your choreography.

“‘Your partner will be here soon’ my ass!” You mocked the way your manager came in earlier. “A little more time for mental preparation maybe?!” You threw your water bottle against the wall as you were still raging about the fact that you’d have to work with someone else.

It was not like you hated the idea. It was just too sudden. You loved to work with others, sharing your ideas and creating something beautiful but in a competition? And so suddenly? It was just a little overwhelming for you. To your demise, you heard a door open.

“Are you Y/n?” A soft voice appeared from above, making you look up from your feet. Your face was red and tears were burning in your eyes, not the nicest picture for the first meeting.

“I’m Yunho! I will be your partner for the collaboration round. Nice to meet you!”

You were a little perplexed when you looked at the tall man right in front of you. He had his arm stretched out to you and a big smile on his face.

“Yes I am.. Nice to meet you too.” You hesitated before straightening your body and shaking his hand.

After letting go of his hand, you tried to fix yourself by redoing your hair and wiping your face. At least you didn’t want to look like you just had an existential crisis.

“I saw your performances! They were amazing, you are so good! I’m glad I got you as my partner.” Yunho’s energetic voice made you cringe. You didn’t mean to be mean but you were really stressed and couldn’t really understand how someone could be so positive right now.

“Thank you..” You replied, looking at your manager for help. But Yunho seemed to notice that.

“So uhm.. I heard you’re not happy with the current situation.” He started, clearly hesitant and careful. “But if you don’t want to drop out, there is nothing we can do. So I hope that we can make the best out of it?” He vaguely smiled at you while tilting his head.

Oh wow. He heard your little rant. What a good start.

“See, Yunho..?” You asked, continuing after getting his nod. “I didn’t mean it that way. I am a little… sensitive when it comes to new things. It’s not like I am against working with you, especially not you personally, I was just surprised and overwhelmed..” You explained, scratching your head in the process.

“I know it’s nothing personal against me, don’t worry. I just want to get the best out of this opportunity.” Yunho’s assuring smile was somehow comforting. He looked so innocent, kind and calm. And that helped you calm down before your Managers, Yunho had brought his with him, called you over.

“Have you done a collaboration before?” Your Manager asked Yunho as you sat down together to plan. Yunho nodded. “Good because our Y/n is new to it.” The way your manager talked, showed you that there was no harm intended in that statement. It was just the truth. And suddenly you felt a little childish.

You made such a big deal out of something so usual.

Being the inexperienced one was weird to you. You had always been good at what you were doing when you worked with others. Of course you were teached as well and you learned a lot but it had been a while since you were the student.

“You’ll have one week to prepare for the stage. No crazy props. They want a performance focused on teamwork.” Yunho’s manager explained while giving you a list of things you could use. “We already talked Yunho through all the details on our way here so he will explain it to you further. We don’t want to steal more of your precious working time.”

And with that it took five minutes until the studio was empty, except for you and your dance partner.

“Well.. I guess we should stretch?” You awkwardly smiled at him, causing him to laugh.

Hours passed without you noticing. The studio had no windows so there was no daylight to show you how late it was. The bright lamps kept you from getting tired and the constant movement you were in made you forget about time.

As the time passed you got to know another side of Yunho. At first you thought he was really playful and lightheaded but you figured out quite quickly that he could also be incredibly serious.

His passion caught you off guard at first but soon enough you got into working space as well and to your surprise you worked really efficiently.

“So that would be about it for the first minute of the song. I think we should work on the rest tomorrow when we are a bit… fresher.” A smile broke through his seriousness as he wiped sweat off his forehead. You nodded, taking a big sip of water before packing your things.

But the pace in which he changed from serious and hard working to goofy was just as scary as the other way around. As soon as you had finished packing and tidying up, he was already talking like there was no tomorrow. His voice went through ten different stages as he told you about that one time his friend from his company tried to stir egg whites with chopsticks for three hours, obviously with horrible results.

And if you were honest? It was relaxing. It was not like you were usually quiet. You could be really loud and talkative around the right people but you felt like listening to his stories made it a lot easier to break the ice. Even though it was thin already.

You were glad that he was your partner because you didn’t know if you could have worked so well with someone else.

“And well. He even tried to get his friend to eat it but he politely declined the offer.” Yunho finished his story of the egg whites just as you left the building.

“That sounds.. interesting.” You let out a small chuckle. “I bet he was not allowed into the kitchen any longer?” You guessed, making Yunho laugh out loud. “His best friend chased him out with a pan.” He confirmed your guess.

His friends sounded amazing.

You had friends at the company and some at your part time job but you weren’t really close with anyone particularly.

“Okay then. I’ll see you tomorrow!” Yunho said while getting in a car. And it took you a minute to realise that he was the one driving.

You nodded at him before walking off in the other direction. He can drive? You wondered as you walked past the company building. It wasn’t unusual but you didn’t have a license so you were a tiny bit jealous. And maybe impressed.

The following day was pretty uneventful. You met up at around 10am and started to work on your choreography.

You suddenly had a very good feeling about this collaboration. The day went by incredibly fast and after a shared lunch you even managed to finish the complete outline of the choreography. And you were proud because you genuinely liked what you had created together.

Even though you were extremely tired, looking at the short clips you recorded made your face lit up.

The choreography was hard but matched the energy of the song perfectly.

“We should stop for today and work on the details starting from tomorrow. Then we’ll have five days to make it perfect.” You suggested, knowing that the hard work will start from tomorrow on.

You both knew that the hardest part about this collaboration was yet to come so you agreed on having one last relaxing evening before hell would break out.

“I could drive you home.” Yunho suggested as you walked out of the building. But you politely declined. “I like the walk back home.” You said, waving as you turned around.

Well technically your way home was really long and quite exhausting, maybe even a bit scary this late, but you wanted to keep a little distance. You had already caught yourself staring at him for a bit too long sometimes and definitely didn’t want that feeling to get bigger. It was just so fascinating when he was dancing. You hadn’t felt this way in a while as you watched someone dance, so you figured that was why you got a little excited.

But you liked how it was right now. And you really wanted to keep this professionalism. How hard could that be?

“What’s wrong with us today?” You nervously laughed as you stood up to get into a normal position. It was the third time in a row that both of you couldn’t stay serious, immediately breaking into shy laughter as soon as you looked each other in the eyes.

Oh you had been so wrong. How hard could that be? You were internally laughing at yourself. Incredibly hard.

You thought the chances were low because you could stay in character. Just as good as Yunho. But you both seemed a little off.

“I have no idea.” Yunho laughed, taking a sip from his water bottle.

Giving up on that one particular scene, you continued with the rest of the choreography. And you got through that pretty well.

But you knew that something was off. You weren’t as concentrated as always. You caught yourself staring off into nothing and randomly losing focus way too many times in one day. And that was really scratching your productivity.

“Maybe we should take a break.” Yunho suggested, making your cheeks heat up. But you just nodded in embarrassment. You were the main problem, and that was a problem for you.

“Come on! Why isn’t this working?!” You groaned, repeating one of the moves for the 100th time. But it was still not giving you the effect you wanted.

After finishing practice with an unsatisfied feeling yesterday, you wanted to make extra effort today. But that resulted in you getting upset over that one specific move you just couldn’t get right.

“No no Y/n, a little more like this-“ Yunho demonstrated your already most hated movement of the month. But you couldn’t get it again. It was already late and you didn’t want to make him stay. It wasn’t his fault that you were failing. You were upset with yourself, not with him, so why make him stay?

“Yunho I think you should go home. It has no use. I don’t think that I will get it right any time soon..” You forced up a smile while lifting your head. But Yunho only tilted his head.

“But I have this bad feeling that you won’t sleep if I go now.”

Bullseye. You were frustrated. You knew you shouldn’t let it out on him but..

“And what if I don’t? What are you? My mom?” You asked, surprising yourself at how annoyed that came off. You threw your towel against the bench, already feeling your anger rise. He needed to leave, or else this wouldn’t end very nice.

“Sorry that wasn’t.. please just go home.” You were suppressing the tension in your voice, avoiding eye contact on purpose.

“But you should-“ “I should what?! God Yunho. Just. Leave me. Alone.”

You had turned around faster and abrupter than you actually wanted, making him flinch. He didn’t want to do any harm. And seeing his hurt expression made you want to apologise right away. But something inside of you couldn’t.

Instead you just quietly watched him pack his back and walk out of the room with a “I’ll see you tomorrow…”

You had fucked up. And you knew that. But that didn’t stop you from doing exactly what he thought you would.

You stood up all night, repeating the choreography again and again. Sure, it was harder alone but you felt freed because you didn’t have to worry about burdening someone.

But that also made you forget to sleep.. or to drink.

When Yunho showed up the next morning, finding you in the same clothes as yesterday, he sighed. He knew it.

You on the other hand were not really tired. Once you had survived that tiredness at about 4am, staying awake was quite easy. And it’s not like it would be the first time you worked through a whole night.

And Yunho let it slip. Because it actually helped. You had overcome your problem and now 98% of the choreography was set perfectly. Just without Yunho. The missing variable.

This day was rather productive. You went out to eat, meeting one of your co-workers from your part time job which caused a pretty embarrassing “who is that cutie” situation and got pretty far in your progress. And you promised Yunho to sleep when he left.

But you kinda lied. Because you stayed up all night. Again.

“Oh! Good Morning y/n! Why are you here so early? I’m usually fir-“ Yunho stopped talking as soon as you turned around. You looked beyond tired.

“You didn’t sleep, did you?” His face immediately got serious, slowly getting closer to you.

You looked at the ground. You somehow couldn’t look him in the eyes. It felt like you were a little kid and he caught you stealing candy.

“Listen Y/n.” Yunho’s voice was loud and steady as he grabbed you by your shoulders. You instantly looked up, finding his face right in front of yours.

“This is a collaboration. It has no use when you can do the choreo on your own. We have to do it together.” He said, looking into your eyes way too intense. You felt ashamed but at the same time didn’t want to acknowledge that what you did was wrong.

“But it obviously didn’t help when you tried to show me! And now I have the moves down so what’s your problem?” You responded, looking at him with the same intensity.

You shouldn't be fighting. You should just go back to to practice and let it slide. But you couldn’t help but stare at each other. You couldn’t see what he was thinking. His expression was unreadable and the silence between you two started to get more tense with every second.

It was the moment you felt your eyes wander from his eyes to his lips and back that made you realise that you should definitely stop. You just didn’t notice him doing the same.

“I- we should just continue.” You said, your voice shaking as you broke the eye contact and turned around. But Yunho was definitely not letting you get away with that. You felt him grab your arm, turning you around. But before you could protest, you felt his lips pressed against yours.

Your eyes widened when you realised what he was doing. Why? How? Right now? Suddenly? Yes you had thought about this. Yes you had stared at his lips way too often but what? You didn’t-

You tried to push away as you felt those little annoying butterflies in your stomach but he didn’t let you. You couldn’t like him.. that would only end in problems. But his lips felt so good..

“Was it so bad?” Yunho chuckled as he gently pulled away from you. But you were way too overwhelmed to say anything. Instead you just managed to shake your head.

Did that really happen? You looked up into his eyes, only to see a soft smile on his lips.

“I guess we should start practicing now huh?” He laughed gently as he straightened his posture. And you didn’t know what drove you but now you weren’t gonna let him get away with it. He wanted to kiss you? Well then he should at least do it properly.

“Bad.” You just whispered before grabbing him by his collar and pulling him close. “Come on. You can do better than that.” You smirked before pressing your lips against his again.

And he did better. It didn’t take long until you were pressed against the mirror, hands in his hair, legs around his waist. His lips tasted better than anything you ever had and his big hands that were holding you up were giving you an incredibly safe feeling.

“Fuck..” Yunho mumbled when you pressed your body against his. Your hips slipped a little further down, suddenly hitting something.. hard.

“Are you..?” You asked, looking down his body and up to his red face again.

He just nodded, instantly letting go of you and turning around. “Sorry.. I didn’t mean to ehm get too invested haha..” He laughed nervously as he took a step back. “Let me go.. to the toilet real quick?” He took big steps to the door when he suddenly heard a thud behind him.

You had wanted to stop him and tell him that it’s alright but when you took a step forward, your vision suddenly got blurry. And then black. A thought shot through your head as your legs gave in. When was the last time I drank something?

You woke up to Yunho shaking your shoulder and as soon as you opened your eyes, he threw a water bottle at you.

“I told you.” He just said while helping you get up. Looking at the clock showed you that you were only “gone” for about 10 seconds or so but your head was screaming at you as if you drank 6 bottles of soju. Alone.

You swore under your breath while shoving the water down your throat, feeling the headache getting worse already.

“Ok. You sit down on the bench now and monitor me. Get rest.” Yunho said in a stern voice while he began to stretch.

As soon as he started stretching, your mind went on a journey. Did that really happen? Or was it a dream? You still had the picture in front of your eyes, how he was holding you up against the glass, how he was pressing his lips on yours. But there were no signs of it happening.

“Earth to Y/n, I’ll start now so watch.” Yunho interrupted your thoughts, making you watch him. You sat there for a while, head in the clouds, before you shook your head and interrupted him. He stopped mid movement and tilted his head.

“You’re right Yunho.” You murmured, eyes on the ground. “We only have tomorrow left since the competition is the day after. I shouldn’t have been so stubborn. Now I’m all exhausted and we don’t have enough time to make it perfect.” You felt horrible. Maybe it was the fact that you were heavily dehydrated but you were miserable. You would both fail and it was your fault.

Yunho had kneeled down in front of you and put one hand on your shoulder. “We can win this.” He said with a certainty you couldn’t explain. “I want you to go home now and rest. And I will drive you. No discussion." And you didn’t complain. You were tired. He had helped you pack your things before you went down, got in his car and left.

You don’t remember what happened after but you somehow ended up in your warm and comfortable bed.

The next day went by quickly. You met up. You practiced. You ate. You practiced. All the tension from before seemed to have disappeared in thin air, making you question if his lips on yours had really been a dream. But that was good. Because by sunset you both laid on the floor in your own sweat. Done. You couldn’t believe you had finished your choreography, nor could you believe that the stage was tomorrow. You looked over to your right where Yunho was laying. It was all thanks to him.

Without him and his flowery personality you probably would’ve gotten more and more frustrated to the point of giving up. But now you were finished. It was complete. You felt complete. And as Yunho turned his head to smile at you, you felt thousands of butterflies in your stomach.

“The next team is Yunho and Y/n.” You heard the announcer through one of the speakers. It was time. You had decided to wear something simple. White shirt on white slacks. As you made your way up to the stage, your hands began to shake. Fuck you were rarely nervous, why now?

However, all your nervousness disappeared as Yunho took your hand. Yes you weren’t alone, but somehow it felt good to have someone by your side.

“Let’s win this together!” He said in a calm but reassuring tone before you got into position to start. You nodded firmly. And then the music started. Electricity ran through your veins as you danced by his side. Everything around you was floating, you saw everything in slow motion. Every touch felt light and every move was effortless. Your breath was calm. And suddenly it was over.

If someone asked you about your performance afterwards you wouldn’t be able to say a thing. You remembered nothing except for the first beat of the song hitting your body.

You were breathing heavily as your surroundings cleared up. Everything got louder, brighter, faster. You looked over to your partner. His eyes were sparkling as he scanned the crowd. You couldn’t help but smile. Oh how you loved this man.

Oh how I- you realised your own thoughts when the first jury started to speak.

Your final score was 98.7. The best so far but there was one more team coming up after you. While you were sitting in the waiting room, watching the last team’s performance you remembered the thought you had on stage.

Love. Such a strong word. Then you looked over to Yunho who was getting water for the both of you. You hadn’t talked to him after you got off stage. When he asked if you wanted water you simply nodded before sitting down. Your competitors were strong. But not as good as you and Yunho were.

He sat down next to you, giving you a cup, while the score of the last team was announced. Your heart was racing. You gulped down the whole cup.

97.4.

You won.

In the one second it took you to realise what happened, Yunho had already picked you up and swirled you around. And right when he stopped, it settled. You had won.

Without a single thought in your head you pressed your lips onto his. You had won and it was all thanks to him. He was perplexed at first but kissed you back quickly. A rush of happiness struck your body as you buried your hands in his hair. Even as you separated, your eyes were locked with his. You needed to tell him.

“I love you Yunho.” You whispered, not sure if you said it loud enough. His eyes widened. “I-“ he stuttered. You could see the realization on his face as it lit up.

“I love you too!” You were blinded by the brightness of his smile as he spun you around again. But then you were interrupted by a sudden announcement.

“Congratulations Yunho and Y/n. You successfully made it into the last round of our competition!”

Last round? This should have been the last round! You opened your mouth in shock. Yunho was still holding you tight as you looked at him in horror, hearing the next sentence.

“Prepare to fight. Your next and last challenge is to compete with each other.”

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