#so thats why jinx is making fun of him

[starfruitsomething]

that one meme

[theghostofwilburtheworm]

mmmmmhhhh

[brucewaynehater101]

Ok so ive had this idea stuck in my head for WEEKS at this point and i need to tell someone about it so im invading your asks

(ages for this au, id imagine Damians around like- 12 or 13 and Tim/JJ's like- 17)

What if a version of Damian (like from ine of the good happy batfam universes) was sent to to a universe with Joker Junior where the rest of the bats were killed by the Joker and JJ was never reacued and brought back to being Tim?

And Damian is like- terrified because he doesnt know where he is or how to get back home and then hes found by JJ.

And like- at first JJ would probably try to leave Damian but once he gets a good look at this kid baby brother, thats his baby brother- he would realize that he recognizes this kid. So he keeps him!

The only problem with that is the Joker. Now the bats are all dead (or theres circumstances preventing them from doing anything) in this universe so theres nobody around to stop the Jokers shit. And we all know that the Joker isnt above murdering or tourturing kids. (Id imagine the JJ of this universe has done stuff like that once or twice, but he doesnt like to. He's a smaller equally manical yet WAY less bloodthirsty version of the joker)

So JJ keeps Damian hidden from his "Papa" until the bats of Damians universe are able to find a way to bring him back home. In the meantime tho, Damians under JJ's care, and its terrifying, but at least he tries!

Now in my mind Joker Jr. is kinda like Jinx from Arcane with mood swings, visual and audio halucinations, so so smart but so so crazy and confused and SCARED and oh so close to finally snapping until he actually does.

And this boy that he kiddnaped rescued confuses the fuck out of him. Because Junior recognizes him from somewhere and he doesnt know why.

(I hope this all makes sense its kinda just like a word vomit lmao my lizard brain just want crazy older brother Joker Jr. [Also there isnt enough JJ content out there and that is a crime])

(Older brother JJ content??? Fuck yeah)

TW: JJ, torture, child abuse

JJ... Recognizes those glaring emerald eyes and scowling face. He doesn't know why, but it causes reality around him to pulse with uncertainty as it teters between JJ's world and someone else's. Someone Papa doesn't like.

JJ won't talk to them. He knows he's not supposed to. Papa will become angry. So Junior tears his eyes from the bird kid baby bat and turns to leave. A tsk stops him.

Another wave of familiarity crashes over JJ, but he doesn't know that child. He doesn't. He really really doesn't know him.

So, Junior should move. Papa won't he happy if JJ can't move.

Well, unless Papa is teaching JJ a lesson.

His nerves light up at the memory of cold metal tables, electric probes, and buzzing.

JJ needs to go, but that kid. He can't leave him. He also can't take him with either. He knows what happens to the kids Joker meets.

Junior would never disobey his papa, but the ever-present buzzing noise isn't a deterrent for bad behavior. With how often he's punished, it hardly matters whether JJ is being a good child or not. He's always in trouble. Instead, that buzz is a reminder that he can't be caught.

JJ is smart. He's clever and sneaky. He's also great at lying, even to bats. While he may not know why lying to the nocturnal creatures is important, he knows it's an accomplishment he's proud of.

He can hide the child from Papa! It'll be a fun game! Junior's little surprise.

Junior isn't sure what he's winning, but he knows what will happen when he loses.

Death to the bird and punishment to JJ! A great joke!

Though Junior doesn't know why the kid is a bird.

Oh well! JJ will take great care of the little bird. All he has to do is feed him and keep him hidden! It will be like all the other things JJ hides from Papa. He'll never admit it, but Junior thinks Papa is a little dumb. As long as JJ plays pretend with the older man, he'll remain unsupervised.

Anyways, JJ has more of a demented, childish voice while Tim is more analytical and serious.

Damian, to start with, doesn't recognize Tim. JJ has green hair, bleached skin, cut cheeks, and way less muscle mass. The behavior is drastically different as well (also, we're not gonna speculate any specific mental disorders for these AUs. JJ and Tim are considered different due to their characterizstions, but I don't want to put harmful connotations out there [especially since I don't have any relevant conditions to insert accurate and mindful interpretations]).

In this AU, the Bats are all dead. JJ did kill some of them, which drastically reduced his ability to recover and remember that he's Tim.

He didn't kill Damian, though. Tim also feels extremely protective of his younger siblings (Duke included). Unfortunately, they're dead in this AU :/

JJ oscillates between being terrified, peppy, silent, crying, and content at rapid rates. It takes several days for Damian to feel out some of the triggers.

The Bats from Damian's universe are trying their damned best to get there as soon as possible. Sadly, Joker finds out about Damian before then.

JJ, by this point, has bonded with the kid. That kid is HIS. He may have some slightly fucked up notions on how to show care, but he will not let anyone harm the bird (not even Papa).

So, JJ does his best joke yet. He kills Joker.

Only after killing the Joker do the other Bats show up. They offer to take JJ with them (particularly because that's Tim!!!), but he refuses. He doesn't want to go with his family. He doesn't remember them and he killed some of them.

He can't stay with them.

[eternalera]

i love everyone saying how if ekko stayed everyone would understand his choice and not blame him for it but he left anyways and that makes him the best character. and while yes i kinda wanna dig deeper into this, the fact is that if ekko stayed i doubt that he ever wouldve been able to forgive himself, he never wouldve been truly happy, why? because he had everything that he wanted. he was flung into another dimension by chance and it just happened to be the best one where everything went right and he's dating his childhood crush (aka jinx/powder although im gonna use powder since its technically powder).

throughout ekko's character we've learned a few things and one of them being that he's not selfish by any means. he's built an entire commune for the greater good, he doesn't charge people anything and he lets them stay, he created a utopia in a dystopian world so that people can grow up normally and live a life that he and a lot of others never lived at his age. he doesnt force the people into labor he lets them have fun and i highly suspect that the people in the firelights are there because they went to support him and his endeavors and he doesn't want to let them down.

he has people relying on him because of this thing that he created so what does he do when there's a problem? he finds it and goes to fix it, and when he does that its then when he gets flung into this alternate reality and has to try and get back even though he has everything. why?

because his people need him. the tree is still dying, and if that tree dies everyone's lives who live there will be utterly destroyed. because he created that commune/utopia he is responsible for it's survival and while he has everything in this universe it's not his universe it's not his to have. what is his though is once again his society and he cant just throw that all away not with everyone counting on him. so he needs to go back.

not only that but in the end powder was right, he gave them the tip, he started off the chain of reactions he was the one who introduced everyone to hextech and while it's not his fault of how everything plays out he played his rule as much as the next person, as much as powder or vi. he started the chair reaction and while he can't control what happens after it what does matter is that he started it, he knocked over the domino's and for that he has to live with his decision and how it played out.

in this universe everything turned out fine, in his though is an entirely different story and he has to own up to that, while he didn't control it he still started all of this kinda like jayce with creating hextech, he didnt want everything to go out of hand or for viktor to basically become god and emotionless but regardless of the fact that's what happened and maybe in a different reality that doesnt happen but it still happened and because of that he has to own up to that mistake.

when vi slaps powder and runs off she couldn't have predicted that silco would take her in or that powder would become jinx but she still has to take some sort of responsibility for it.

ekko has to face what his decision caused in the end, maybe there it turned out for the better but in his universe it didnt and i think thats what makes his character truly mature in a sense. now am i saying that everything is ekko's fault? no, it's not but just like everyone else he had his part to play and even if it's not his fault arcane does make it clear that he's not entirely innocent just like powder says

"you gave us the tip"

you introduced us to this, you made us go on this mission. you're not innocent. and this fucking works it acknowledges the part that ekko had to play in everything which... lets be honest some people were NOT (and still arent) talking about. so that makes him going back and fixing everything so much better even if most of it wasnt his fault he still sees the harm that he caused and wants to fix it.

thats why he's the boy savior, and that's why he cant stay.

[animeshotsh]

Let me show you Crazy - Various x Jinx!Reader

Warnings: Jinx is a complex character herself. Im only using a small part of her personality to write this small piece. There is not connection to the events of arcane.

HH Violence - Cursing - Various!xReader - Platonic - Mentions of mental breakdown - Hallucinations - Past Abuse - Vaggie seems bad but she wishes the best -

The normal red sky of hell was tainted in blues and purples as laugh filled up the streeets.

Sinner who knew better took a step aside as bullet flew past them.

The target?

No one in particular.

You were just bored, and the voices kept whispering to you, if you closed your eyes silouhets of now nameless faces would appear.

Thats why you needed this.

Cherri will for sure be pissed at you for have not inviting her to your little outbrust, but hell was alywas up for another bombing so you were not so worried over it.

Just as the last bombs exploted and your gun was hot from shooting you decided to stop and find a place for the night, your hideout was too far away now to go back.

--------

You entered Angel Dust aparment without a problem, all his pink colors made you want to puke but you hold back, soon his little pet came to welcome you, seeing you as a parent figure of sorts.

Even if you have joked that you could made some good meat with it.

"Hey, who is the bitch that-" Angel stopped his cursing and lowered his guns seeing you.

"Oh, hey Spidy" You joked seeing his pet go back to him.

"(Y/N), I thought these were your bombs"

"Hell yeah they were" you responded, passing by him and getting onto his bed. "Had a sweet time shooting these fuckers off"

"Yeah...thanks for the invitation" Angel joked back getting on the side of the bed. He knew how unestable you could be, but he could figure when you were out having fun and when you just needed to be out.

Maybe his way to cope with trauma was sex, yours was violence, this was hell, everyone did what they could.

"I thought you were being re made Spidy, the Princess got a nice place? I might just crash there next time"

Angel had to sight to himself imagining the chaos you would make, not only that, you would for sure make Alastor lose his cool the second you set foot into the hotel.

"Yeah well, you get a room, food, all free, i think you should try it" Angel said seeing you play with your hair. Now he did think you should try it, maybe it could help you, maybe you could get better.

"Uh, it seems too good to be true" You responded looking past Angel to nameless figures now behind him, one of them biting Angels neck and the other one just staring at the roof.

"N-no, i dont need help. Hey! shut up, who said that i was considering it? NO!! IM NOT WEAK" Angel stood aside as you passed by his aparment, your hands on your hair pulling pieces of it, talking to things that were not there. "SHUT UP, YOU KNOW NOTHING".

"(Y/N)...." Angel tried when he saw you fall to your knees, memories of a terrible past revealing itself to you.

"I SAID, SHUT UP" Angel found himself with a gun to his face. Your gun, with trembling hands, you were not looking at him but at someone else, someone who had hurt you at some point.

Angel had to thank whatever was above him by his agility, because not a second later you shoot to now an empy space. He quickly moved to take the gun from you and get you in a hold.

"Shh, its me, Angel Dust, remember? Its me, your friend, you little blue flare, you got nothing to be scared of" Angel told you half screaming, and having just enough emotion in his voice to break you from your episode.

"Angel?"

"Yes Y/N?"

"Are you real?" You asked not knowing what was going on anymore, Angel felt his eyes tear up as he let go of you to hug you properly.

"Of course Im you idiot, why do you want to be alone so much?"

You did not respond, these were the few times your mind was quiet. No voices, no images, just the present, you still did not know if he was real, if he was talking to you, or if he was other one of your friends.

"Hey, what are you thinking about?" Angel asked easily picking you up and taking you to his bed.

"I- I dont want to be alone" was all you said as he pulled the blankets up to you and took your hand in his.

"You wont"

-------------

"Do you know who that is?" Vaggie asked pointing at you and Angel. You were looking at everything in the loby of the hotel with Angel trying to keep you in check.

"Yes, they are a sinner who needs help" Charlie responded her girlfriend also looking at your somehow childish behaviour.

"Thats Jinx, is one of the most unestable and unpredictable sinners from the circle, and thats is something to say with how many we got"

"Vaggie, I offer salvation to anyone, I dont care who they are as long as they want to be saved"

"And you think they want to be saved?" Vaggie asked somehow exasperated by now.

Before Charlie could respond you appear besides her, giving her a crushing hug.

"I must say Princess, Spidy said this place was neat but he did not mention it was this good, where is my room? oh! can i decor it? I love blue you see, and I paint, you wanna see some of them? SHH, WHO SAID SHE WONT LIKE IT?"

"Jinx!!" Charlie said not noticing you almost having another episode but pulling you right back into the hug. "Yes! of course you can decorate, and i would love to see your art"

This made you smile, taking her hand and pulling her towards a near table where your stuff was.

"Can my room be besides Spidy?"

Charlie just nodded already exploring your odd draws.

-------

"I need to talk with you" Vaggie said, not happy to have come to this but seeing it as necesary.

"Oh? and what will you need from me?" Alstor asked smirking at her.

"Jinx, if she does something to hurt Charlie or the hotel purpose..."

"What?" Alastor knew what Vaggie wanted, and knew who you were. True to be told, he did not like you being in the hotel, you could ruin everything, but he also liked a good show, and that needed good characters, and you were for sure one hell of one. So he could let you stay and watch you and your actions.

"...Stop them, however you need to do it" Was all Vaggie said. Now wanting to listen to Alastor moral speech she went back to her and Charlies room.

Now, Alastor would not let himself be ordered like that ny anyone, but he knew Vaggie wishes and his own reasons did aline this time. He will let it pass, and maybe use it for the future.

If Charlie knew Vaggie was going behind her back, telling Alastor to dispose of troublemaker sinners....well she would be heartbroken.

[wortsandall]

EXACTLYY ABOUT THE SILCO AND JINX THING!!! like, im not saying he was the best person or father ever (he was a good father in that he knew what jinx needed, but raising her as his kind of lieutenant in the mafia was obviously not a good move lol) but saying he never loved her or cared for her???? like did we watch the same show????

i never doubted for a SECOND that he loved her, but i understand people probably weren't sure during act 2 and okay, that makes sense. but STILL claiming he doesn't love her after watching season 1? what the fuck.

if he dgaf about her, he shouldn't even be keeping her around. we are told repeatedly that jinx is messing up his business (failing to guard shimmer cargo, riling up the chembarons and even causing SEVIKA to doubt silco as a leader etc). pray tell, if he doesn't care about her why the fuck doesn't he just..kill her?

but thats not all, no. because its so fucking obvious silco loves jinx you have to watch the series with your eyes and ears closed to not get it. the bridge scene where he carries her? even tho he has his underlings with him?? going to singed?? that entire scene???

him literally giving up his dream of an independent zaun TO PROTECT HER???? COMFORTING HER AS SHE LITERALLY KILLS HIM????

genuinely, anyone who thinks silco doesn't genuinely love jinx by the end of season 1 is a fucking moron.

from a couple months ago but basically yes silco and jinx are so unspeakably important to me !!!! forever and ever will i stand on the fact that silco loved her. he loved her so much.

regardless of the mom linkage they tried to pull in season two-jinx was his girl. like its been said but jinx was a lot more trouble than itd be worth for him to keep her around and he did anyway. over and over again he picked her over anything else. and now im supposed to believe that its all manipulation? he never cared? to what end?

silco is not like that. empty manipulations for personal satisfaction. which is why he'd be doing it if these people are right. theres no political benefit or benefit for what he was doing for zaun. she was actively getting in the way. so that leaves just for kicks. lemme manipulate this lil girl for fun and maybe get back at vander in the process. that's not silco. there's no gain there.

people just don't want to believe that a man seen as evil can have soft spots or be a good dad. like you can argue that silco's a bad dad fine (i completely disagree but you can argue) but to say he doesn't love her is insane.

and for the bad dad-he's really not 😭 you can disagree with his methods but its not like he himself had therapy. for his own traumas there were things that worked for him, that kept him alive. and he imparted that to her because he loved her and wanted to keep her alive as well. i dont even think what he was saying was entirely wrong. flawed 100% yeah but its not the worst. he helps her to feel useful. to not look down on herself or her abilities. he encourages her need to create and build unlike before where they kept telling her to stop and leaving her behind. the wounds that she had, he tried to heal as best as he could.

because he understood her and he loved her. i go so insane about them. the best father daughter duo. i literally cry every time i think about them for too long, every time i talk about them. every time i see them on screen. she needed him and he was there for her in a way that vander wasn't. i mean the one scene of vander and jinx solo they don't even speak. vander was distracted with a clear favorite and silco made her his priority. i love him. i love them both so much.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

yippie!!

ok so one day i was hangin out and thinking about how jinx and murie are both my favourite little sad wet guys in my two fave medias of all ever *And* at the same time SO far apart on the spectrum personalitywise

and it took me listening to this to flip the switch on the Autism Blender and want to just fucking mash them together like a coked up toddler making Slime out of fish guts and hayao miyazakis mothers ashes because thats what i do thats my job💅👌so theeeen it comes out pretty reminiscent of my first muriel au that also sprung up from a song i like, just- a bit to the left? like, moving along on the scale from The OG not liking violence and being involved in it whatsoever, to AU 1 where i pictured him going "yeah ok fuck it this is what i do i guess" and revengy motives to his whole thing that i now connected with him more thru the song lmao it just made me realize the vision of like. jinxies "murderingmurderinmurdering 💕fun✨" aspect + his potential desire to still do good things despite being doomed to be a machine made for destruction (ignore the fact of that desire being nonexistent in his canon form because of how he perceives himself as a thing unable to achieve performing any good ever under any circumstance) (but still refusing to actively cause harm as he isolates himself to prevent any situations arising that would lead him to do so) (ignore all that) (were yassifying him a little were allowed its fine ive already lost the plot here anyway were wildin) so a vigilanty type beat and also ~my axe is my buddy🥰 we both cry with the trees😔✊ /me & my axe will bring the devil to his knees (✿◕‿◕ )~ goes hard as phUCK

so then all that led to This new V.3 mutation where hed be actually having fun with it........ so I kinda start turning him over in my brain some more, forgetting about jink by now and at first I go Huh this is kinda. him but lucioey a lil bit. and THEN i go hm. Well this ground is awful soft n ready to dig

so with all that out of the way i can now present!: Brand New Vague Shadow of a Concept of an Idea that ill Never Do Anything with

and I really don’t know how to verbalize this very well at all mmjfdh but like. Ok bulletpoints activate

Muriel:

From a badass warrior tribe

Didn’t get booted out cuz theyre fine this time oopsie no genocide

Hes in there way chillin way awesome way good at fighting everybody loves him

Hes like. Way himboey in this one. SO jock. Smiles a lot <3 <3 <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Like okay if i was actually serious about writing this I think id need a fucking lucio consultant because I really know zilch about that bitch but like okay you know how lucios kinda all scary n cunty and cunning and fancy and seems like hes got shit figured out. Until he *starts talking*? Muriel here is like that but hes just really fucking scary until he starts talking BUT not like normally where hes adorable just has resting bitch face, its just like. that part of him that came thru in the reversed ending at the very end, yknow. but make it less depressing ihjhsrfbjs hes like full letterman jacket highschool bully core total kurt & ram vibe, like ok youd see him on a battlefield ABsolutely WRECKIng some fools into a pulp with his bare bear hands and immediately after that he turns around like WOOOOOOO THAT’S what im TALKIN ABOUT LETS GO GUYS WHO WANTS A BEER *cut to him chugging an entire keg over his head with da boys around losing their minds* like think college frat but they raid villages for fun and profit. Pretty orc coded. Kinda thor coded. Actually exactly thorcoded wow that really is what I was going for. I was wondering why I couldn’t help imagining him with a australian accent, I guess that’s a mystery solved. anyway

Maybe his parents got killed in some other battle im not sure how to weave around that in detail yet BUT- ok so check this I thought ill have to give him some motive to wanna reach the devil somehow for,,.,,… something right. to make him fill an antagonist role So this might be stupid a lil I just thought of this and it needs to cook for sure but what if he just rolled up into vesuvia as the magic capital or something whtver, to figure out how to get to talk to the devil, cuz he just like, really wants his parents back cuz they got valhallad in some glorious combat, and they were cool and he misses them and they could fight some more cool fights together and pillage n chill jhbsfvjgzdc beCAUsE hear me out im rolling with the swap inversions opposites motive here right, so the thing that popped up in my head was- Lucio had the “I wanna kill my parents bcause I hate them and so I can rule and get what I want” thing goin at the start right, like that is basically what started it off he got his dad he didnt get morgha SO what IF I gave murie a “i wanna conquer this place and use it to get my parents back. cuz I missem :(” like fully turned it around idk IDK IT SEEMS MESSY IDK IS IT CUTE IS IT DUMB IT MAKES ME FEEL DUMB BUT IN THAT WAY THAT MIGHT MEAN THAT ITS ACTUALLY WORKING BUT I DONT KNOW *screaming with no air*

But overall yeah hes khal drogo but more noticeably himboey but not in a likeable way cuz were switching them so I cant make him likeable for myself hnjdgfgb leaning into popular dumb jock trope

UnLESSSS i DID combo it with murdermuriel au 1.0 some more and made their tribe like. Not murdery somehow like what would be the opposite of the og scourge roaming around ruining shit. well that was the og kokhuri but now I gotta do some fucking triple axels here to make it make sense so how the fuck do I make this version of kokhuri more warriory in culture than the original but still nice like robinhoody style jhbfsvhjbs this is falling tf apart might need to scrap it bc on lucios end itd be even harder wouldn’t it. Spartan cunts but they don’t kill people that’s a nono lmao

now im thinking some more about the aspect of lucio being, you know. a pretty shitty leader right, and how to incorporate that here, because i have no idea if im following an actual set rule here regarding whats swapped and how even, theres barely a theme im straight up just

but yeah so now i figure it could be murie tryna get his folks back because they were the actual defacto leaders of their tribe, he was just kinda still following along and doin his chores in being the uhh the face, the charisma, the one to kinda like. get the people on board easier with whatever decision they made for them and hyping it up as the best possible choice anyone could ever make and maybe even actually believing it too cuz theyre actually that tightknit and he trusts them with anything aw. is this too onedimensional or can i give my boy some good nice facking family relations at least in an alternate life ghhkjkfdh hes their pride n joy and can do no wrong but yeah the point is he himself hasnt actually made any decisions without them before, isnt very good at actually leading and strategizing and planning and knowing how everything complicated works and he knows it, so he sees his only solution in bringing them back to not let everything fall apart

SEE I BROUGHT IT AROUND I CLEANED UP NICE WITH OG LUCIO SETTING OFF FROM THE POINT OF FEELING LIKE HES THE BEST AT EVERYTHING AND SHOULD B RECOGNIZED AS SUCH AND TRYING TO GET RID OF HIS PARENTS TO GET IT AND MY BOY HERE ENDING UP EXACTLY OPPOSITE. GO SHAWTY GO SHAWTY IM SO SMART am i fucking up lulus backstory i feel like i am cuz im like wait what the fuck did he kill his dad for again. demonheart. deal. thing. whatd he wish. like he wasnt already running for count n shit yet he did want to climb up the ladder in his own tribe right i have no idea yell at me in comments thank you

I also don’t know if the first (last) scourge battle wouldve happened or nah

Lucio/Montag

Oh my fucking god what if I figured out an alternative L moniker for murie so theyd get to switch letters in their namesssssssss like lucio is a made up name he made it up so like UAGHASHG L.,,,...,, Lion ofthe,... south NO he HAS to be bEAR CODED AAFYFFHG BUT LUCIO HAD LEOPARD IMAGERY N SHIT RAAHAHHGH IM FITIN FOR MY LIFE HERE

Anyway he lives in a forest somewhere cuz his tribe threw him out fully voluntarily bc he sucks ass (or at least for their standards cuz I guess he would be way younger than 18 here for this) (Like a spartan type deal ur too weak we don’t want you *drops you off a cliff*  *but theres 4 feet of snow under it so he survives*  *that’s so fucking goofy hjbsfbj kinda suits him*) so uhhhhhh i don’t know where hed be currently chilling for an mc to meet him ever but yeah hes kinda Floki Vikings™ type of vibe at least visually that’s what came to mind first to picture him lol

look at this little blond rat bastard. adorable. becoming increasingly obsessed. picturing lucio with this exact hairline. moving on

and his thing is hes still insecure as fuck but worse at ignoring it and hiding it and hes a lil nervous bundle of sticks and always talking bc of it, kinda Bruno Madrigalesque type vibe julian but a pitch more pathetic who knew it could be done yknow? opposite of The OG The Mountain The Stone Cold Silent The Muriel The Scourge The Kokhuri The Third and also me when writing and not stopped in time

oh oh what if he was totes in denial that his tribe kicked him out and in his view hes on some super intense convoluted secret mission (lasting from. age 7 to now apparently) and as soon as hes done they’ll totally come back for him kdfsgjffd I thought it could either be his own copium or he took it from some last interaction with someone who took pity on him as a kid and wanted to give him some comfort, or something he misunderstood entirely

hm. They both have canid familiars idk what to do with that. muriel with two wolves tho. thats hot shit righ there if i do say so myself

oh now im toying with the idea of taking away muriels SUPPOSED YET UNCONFIRMED AS MY VERY CONTROLLED ACADEMIC STUDY HAS SHOWN COUGHCOUGHJHBSRGJBHF talking to animals buff, i dont wanna just take it and give it to lucio tho, but like. what the fuck else do i give him. astral projecting to tie into his ghost era? sounds dope actually alright lets do that lmao

ok its 1 30 am i hope this is comprehensible to anybody anywhere im zonking out now khbsfhbfk love u

@tetsuooooooooooo I've missed your essays, this was such a treat to log in to!!!

And WOW, thorcoded Muriel is not something I ever would have thought of on my own but oddly enough I feel like the AU you're coming up with could really work, goodness me. And the way you've inverted Lucio's character too!! I'd love to see how their interaction dynamics invert as well!

Always good to hear from you friend, hope you're doing well!

[pitbullwithaship]

DOCTOR WHO LIVEBLOG S2 EP12

Okeydoke, I feel like we're getting incredibly close to heartbreak at this point, I am definitely prepared yep. I'll definitely be okay and will not cry at all, cool. Okay. Prepared.

Great opening there

Yep life can be boring

I love him and her and both of them

Dorever does not exist!! Don't jinx it!!

THIS IS THE STORY OF HOW I DIED AAAHH IM PREPARED IM OKAY TO NOT SEE HER FOR AGES AND AGES ACK

Ooh playground

Ahh Jackie kissed him aaahhh lol

Okay so. Return of dead people never good

Okey. Ghost. Kinda creepy ghost too.

Levers. Torchwood. I know enough to know that that's a bad omen

That's about what I'd expect if benevolent ghosts came around, yep

Poor Jackie

The Sphere tm

Tres odd

Aww we get peoples

Cute

Gareth? Heyo?

Okay scary creepy

Oh dear oh dear oh dearie me

Ghostbusters aaahhh I love him so much

Oof oh dear sorry they're late indeed oh dearie me the beep beeps

Now is not the time for guilt tripping Jackie save it for after

I love him so much he's adorable

3D glasses I love him

TARDIS!!!

ALLONS-Y!!!

Suspicious beep beeps

IF WE END UP ON MARS IM GONNA KILL YOU FUN FACT I LOVE JACKIE AND THE DOCTOR

I too love having the moral high ground

Those people are a bit weird why must they clap so much

WELL

Okey Rose time for investigation

Okay so they are not nice at all knew I never liked them

Fixated on Alonso

THATS A SUPER SPECIAL TOOL TO BE USED LATER

Hoarders of knowledge, tsk tsk

Oh dear creepy beeps beeps are doing creepy things

THE SPHERE tm

I love him

Void Ship *creepy angelic choir*

Goes the wrong way, immediently walks back I love him

Ah yes time for more mind control

In Disguise

Sleuthing time

LETS MAKE IT BIGGAH!! I love him

Bam

Scarily sterile there

Bad beep beeps

Kisses the psychic paper I love Rose so much

MICKEY!!!

Ooh bad things

I'm sorry

I LOVE MICKEY SO MUCH

Oh dear oh dear oh dearie me

Oh dear ghosts

The sounds of aggressive marching!!!!

Oh dear that's a lot of cybermen

ITS TOO LATE FOR THAT THIS IS A VICTORY

DALEKS AAAAAAHHHHH AAAHHHH

Sorry emotions omg

Omg okay

[goddessofroyalty]

Do you think that Vander sometimes slips into his overprotective Dad vibe with his omega children? If so, what’s that like? Obviously he loves and protects them all, but for the Omega ones he feels extra protective. I imagine Silco would probably call him on it and say it was sexist as fuck. But he Silco also understands (a bit) because of how be feels about the power imbalance in Jayce and Viktor’s relationship.

Any of the kids try to date, and everyone is like “no way, your parents are the Hound and Silco, we’re too scared to date you” So thats why they sneak into piltover where they can be a bit more anonymous

I think it's less about Vander going into a protective mode and more how he comes off with social/cultural biases. Because Vadner is generally quite protective of his children from Outside The Family Threats (Inside The Family Threats are a bit more fine 'just don't kill each other and older ones don't use the fact you're bigger to bully the younger ones'). But when he's being protective of his omega children people see it as Protective Alpha Over His Omega Pups while when he's protective of his alpha children they more see it as being protective of all his kids.

Also doesn't help that Claggor at least finds the least threatening possible person to date. And Vi is a serial dater before she meets Cait (and even that starts as a 'oh it's just a bit of fun' until they both catch feelings) so Vander's a little bit more worried about her hurting the other peron's feelings. I will say because I tend to go with Powder/Jinx ending up with Ekko he's pretty chill generally there too because he knows Ekko, Ekko's a good kid (and before that she's a bit similar to her sister but doesn't so much date the people as... tease them to get them to do what she wants/get them into trouble). So it's very much Mylo (and Viktor if included) who probably gets Scary Dad around his dates because he's dating people Vander feels might need to be reminded of the whole situation they're fucking with if they do fuck with his boy.

It does help that Vander is kind of an intimidating presence generally. So he doesn't really have to put on a Scary Alpha Dad act for people to get the message that they whould not fuck with his kids.

Of course that feeds into the fact that it is really hard for their kids to try and date. Because there is absolutely a percentage of the Zaun population that dont' want to date them because they're terrified of their parents. And there's also the part of the Zaun population who only want to date them because of who their parents are (trying to get in to the wealth and power of the family). And those remaining isn't a huge pool. Meanwhile in Piltover it's only very few who actually recognise and care about the family they come from so they feel like their parents shadow less looms over their dating life (and of course Vi (and Viktor) manage to date one of the people from that small pool oops).

I will say the closest Vander probably gets the most often is with alphas around the bar who hit on his kids before realising they're... his kids. Mostly because they're like 25+ year olds hitting on a teenager. So it's less about the designation and more about the age (just he sees it more with with alphas hitting on his omega kids than the other way around). The kids all hate it because they can look after themselves. But honestly it's more to do with the 25+ year old hitting on a teenager generally than them hitting on his kids (just the fact that it its his kids invovled makes it piss him off that bit more).

[blxetsi]

Hey u! If you write for Erwin could I maybe request like some fluffy headcanons where they just take care of each other after an expedition? Thank you so much <3

hey you ! ty for requesting this was fun to make 🤩🤚

caring for erwin smith after an expedition headcanons (canonverse)

lowercase intended !

warnings: mentions of death, titans, gore maybe idk ???, female reader kinda ??? idk i didnt use gendered pronouns u decide

enjoy friends 😎🙏,

the ride back was hard.

- everyone always says "it was supposed to be an easy mission !" but this time it really was. which makes it so hard to understand why just so many of your comrades had to die

- you rode back near a wagon filled with bodies, the most abled bodied people were going to be tasked with getting their bodies identified and sorted, then ready to be buried.

- after that, whichever squad leader had those soldiers would have to write to the families, to send a formal apology as well as details of the situation.

- you knew that no matter what, even if there was just one death or a thousand, erwin would have a hefty stack of paperwork to go through

- from writing his own report to looking over others, going through soldier files to order out the deceased ones, and signing any letters that come his way from squad leaders.

- you had your own job to do. although it wasn't identifying bodies, you had to go back to the infirmary with the injured, and work with the doctors and nurses there to try and save the injured.

- your head was filled with names and tallies, who got hit where, how long has this person been passed out, when did we set their dislocated shoulder, they suffered a nasty head laceration, did i ever check their pupils ?

- you and erwin both had a lot on your plates, and you knew you wouldn't be able to see him until hours later, maybe not even until the next day

- and as much as you wanted to go see your fiance, who would be silently beating himself up over this, you couldn't, your responsabilities always came first, just as his did

- so after hours upon hours in the medical hallway, with nurses and doctors flowing from one room from the next, soldiers coming in with gurneys to transport soldiers that had passed, their names already being added to a list of fallen soldiers.

- it was about one in the morning when things finally started to die down. nurses that were tasked with the night shift had been helping greatly, as others were ready to pass out. you'd been employed by the scouts for years, first as a medic, then after almost dying from an abnormal on a mission, retired from the field to become one of the on call doctors at the base, before coming out of your haitus to rejoin your squad. since you had so much experience on and off the field, you could keep going. you were tired, but your body just couldn't stop moving.

- you decides itd be good for a shower, and saw lots of soldiers there with you.

- it was quiet, which wasnt normal but not surprising considering the circumstances. most times in the showers girls would be helping each other braid their hair, or sharing soaps and lotions, chatting about whatever happened that day on base. the boys' showers were usually even more rowdy, youd almost be able to hear them next door.

- you were surprised by just how much blood and dirt came off of you. you didnt feel like you treated or assisted a lot of people today, but maybe thats just because this whole days been a blur. because the showers had been used so frequently you had ice cold water streaming down your body, after soaping down your body, getting into every nook and cranny and line you could, you shut off the water, before wrappy your body in a towel and going to one of the sinks there

- you brushed your hair (which took some time) and brushed your teeth before making your way back to the dorms, where you found some pajamas to change into.

- your roommates were all asleep, two snoring, one not. you knew they were absolutely exhausted, and silently hoped that theyd get to sleep in the next day

- you made your way to the lounge room, finding some stragglers stationed around. two sitting on a couch, one sitting on the ground in front of them, someone at a near by table with a chess board in front of them, and another had come out of the kitchen with some tea.

- you knew walking around was useless, youd just disturb others and could possibly get yourself in trouble. but you couldnt help it. it was just past two in the morning now, and you knew even if you only got an hour of sleep, you were sure to wake up in a cold sweat from a nightmare.

- so where do you go ? erwins.

- getting there was easy, you knew this route like the back of your hand. from coming in tk hand him reports from the medical hallway, to sneaking in after curfew for goodnight kisses, making your way to his office was like second nature to you.

- you didnt bother knocking, and he didnt bother looking up at you. he knew only you would dare to interrupt the commander after curfew without identifying yourself, and although he had asked you to knock you absolutely could not.

- you slowly stepped in, your bare feet padding against the squeaking floorboards. you sat in a chair in front of his desk, and simply watched him while he wrote.

- he wasnt in his uniform now, but in pajamas like yourself, you were glad he found the time to shower and change, his hair drying and frizzing up the tiniest bit.

- it was quiet, the only noises you could hear were the scribbling of his pen against paper, and the soft whistling of his nose as he breathed, time blended together until finally he stopped, and simply looked at you.

"my dear, why don't you sleep ?" he asked.

you gave him a soft smile, not noticing until now just how droopy your eyes had become. "because then i wouldn't be able to stare at you, my love." your voice was nothing but a whisper, and with the way the wind howled erratically outside, like it was mourning the fallen with you and everyone else, erwin wouldve missed it.

"you flatter me too much." he replied, his deep voice breaking off at the end.

you two stared like that for a while, just remembering every detail of the other person. the candle light was getting dimmer as the wax kept melting, but the soft glow it gave made all your beauty stand out to erwin. although it was a depressing moment, he still found time to admire just how perfect you looked. he could've lost you today, and he knows that. he stopped vocalizing things like that long ago, as your answer would always be "well you didnt, and you never will !" he didn't need you jinxing yourself like that.

you observed the bags under his eyes while he observed your own. erwin felt worried that youd be all sore and achy, from running around performing medical miracles on his soldiers from afternoon into night. you however, were worried if his shoulders and back were sore, from sitting in the same position, hunched over for hours on end. you knew how easily his muscles tightened, you didn't want him to be in any discomfort, especially after today.

you were the first to look away, staring at one of the candles on his table, watching a race between two wax droplets, trying to see which one would hit the metal candle holder first.

"-my dear ?"

you turned your head back towards your man, giving him a hum of acknowledgment.

"i asked if you were ready to go to sleep, y/n." he repeated. his thick brows furrowed a bit, showcasing some wrinkles he had on his forehead. his eyes showed visible worry in them for you, and you couldn't help but return them.

"will you sleep with me please ?" you whispered. the day had caught up with you, and now the only thing you wanted was for erwin to be safe in your arms as he finally let go of this awful day.

erwin looked down at his work, weighing the actions of his possible decision. you were so sure he would decline, while sending you off back to your dorm to ensure you didn't bother him. you could feel your eyes fill with tears, erwins being becoming blurry. you couldnt conceal the whimper that left your mouth, clamping your hand against it to muffle anything else. your head turned down into your lap, while you felt hot tears hit your pajama bottoms.

erwin wordlessy got up, before moving to your side. you tried to protest but you couldn't take your hand away from your lips, afraid youd let out a sob.

the blond put one arm under your knees, while the other took your right hand and slung it around his shoulders. he let out a quiet grunt as he picked you up, before nuzzling your head into his neck as he made his way into his bedroom, which was connected to his office.

it was a small room, but there was a big bed that could probably fit quite a few people. he slowly sat you down on the edge, which was his side of the bed. pulling away he got on his knees in front of you, rubbing up and down your arms.

you gripped his shoulders as you gasped for breath. "you- you can't leave me. please erwin i- you have to stay." you sobbed, trying to pull him closer by his shirt.

he shushed you quietly, urging you to lay back as he pulled the covers away, he tucked you in silently, wiping your cheeks and forehead before joining you on the other side.

his pillow smelled like him, and you turned your head to breathe it in better, needing erwin and his comfort.

pulling the covers up around his waist, he leaned into your touch, your arms coming out to wrap around his shoulders. you pulled him into your chest, and you rubbed his back with one hand while the other cradled his head to your beating heart.

he didn't offer you any words of comfort, erwin knew that it wasnt what you needed right now. you didn't need reassurance, or promises that could be broken, you just needed him. and he would fully give himself over to you if he could.

your cries had died down until all you did was sniffle and let out the occasional shaky breath, and erwin found it a bit odd that instead of needing to be nurtured, youd need to nuture to feel better. instead of feeling protected, you needed to feel like you could protect to calm yourself.

slowly but surely you recovered, until all that was left were puffy eyes and soft sighs.

erwin tried to push himself up, to face you, but you pushed him back into your chest, making him chuckle slightly. you continued to rub his back, feeling his shoulder blades and muscle, and around his neck too. you kept your nose in his hair, no doubt getting snot in it but you knew right now erwin didnt care. you breathed in his shampoo while carding your hand through the short strands.

the commander would be lying if he said this didn't help him too. just a bit of alone time with the one he loved, being held the way a parent would cradle their child. he truly felt at peace in these moments with you, he felt warm and safe in your embrace. he wasn't a leader anymore, he wasn't a soldier. right now he was just a man, being held in the arms of the person he absolutely adored. and that was enough for him. because you would always be enough for him.

he whispered out your name, only hearing a soft hum in reply. he glanced up at you to see your head against the pillow, your eyes closed. he smiled before kissing your collarbone.

"i love you, my dear."

thats it !!! i hope you enjoyed !! love u all, requests r open ❤️❤️❤️

[biohazard2017]

arcane for the ask game?

favourite character: yes its vi yes im a lesbian

least favourite character: like.. silco.. yes nothing more undoing than a daughter but idk out of everyone in the main cast hes the one who i was more meh on

brotp: vi and jinx and ekko ;_; they used to be best friends ;_; also id like if the show went more into jayce and caitlyn they ARE childhood friends am i remembering this wrong

otp: oil and water shutupppppp jayvik too but to a lesser degree honestly

notp: umm i never really enjoyed those ekko/jinx hcs but thats really just personal

favourite storyline: fine yes oil and water their dynamic is sooo good and the fact that theyre both willing to give up so much for the other in what just days of meeting like theyre in love babey. one day i will find the words to explain why vi and caitlyn parallel viktor and jayce. one day

least favourite storyline: honestly some little pieces of jayces story. like just little things here and there like firing heimerdinger etc he was just a little guy...

what i wish had happened but didn’t: i wanted to see viktor a little more ambitious. like realistically i know someone of viktors disposition would take a while for him to get from his arcane to his league days but idk i just wish there was More? yk. maybe something between viktor and jinx that kinda stuff is really good. also ALSO more parallels b/w jayce and jinx too that one scene of jayce going ham with the gun being almost an exact replica of jinxs act 2 intro was fun and all but more please

what happened that i wish hadn’t: ok i am of complete belief that if vi HADNT said caitlyns name on the bridge none of act 3 would have happened. idk it just feels sooff to me. like if only vi had said ekkos name instead.. idk it justfeels weird and i KNOW it isnt the narratives fault bc it makes sense for jinx to misinterpret it like that after like a decade but UGHH idk maybe i just hate homophobia

[jostens-pitch]

headcanon that simon has a chronic stutter:

since he grew up being moved from foster home to foster home, simon never properly learned how to speak or articulate his thoughts

this results in him developing a stutter

he cant say any words that start with “s”, which is painfully ironic given his name is simon snow. he draws out the “s” sound and ends up sounding like a snake. he also has trouble with words like “charlotte” and the letters “b” “p” “m” “n” and “c”. practically the whole alphabet is his enemy

because of his stutter the kids in the foster homes all mock him and laugh at him, making the stutter worse for simon

he becomes a quiet kid who refuses to use his words in fear of embarrassing himself

he sees some speech therapists, but because theyre appointed by the government, simon never sees the same therapist twice

this causes his stutter to get worse. he tries to fix it himself and developes a nasty habit of using fillers in sentences like “um” “uh” and “like” repeatedly

by the time hes 11 hes given up any hope of becoming normal and being able to speak without fear

when he gets to watford and realizes how important it is to say phrases just right to make spells work, it feels like hes in his own kind of personal hell

the professors at watford do their best to help simon, but in the magik world a stutter is something that is a tragedy to mages as it hinders their speaking capabilities

because of his stutter, simons magic is even more pathetic and chaotic than it should be and his classmates all whisper about it

during simons first year, the mage is constantly trying to find a “cure” for simons stutter and is always quickly frustrated by how long it takes simon to say something

this causes him to retreat further into himself and only speak when absolutely needed (it takes penny a year to get simon to start speaking again)

for a while, penny is the only person who understands that simons stutter isnt something of a tragedy: its just who he is

shes also very protective of simon and his speech impediment. anyone who even glances at simon oddly while hes speaking to them is sure to be jinxed by miss penelope bunce herself

and as for simons relationship with baz throughout their watford years:

simon notices pretty quickly that baz’s taunts never revolve around his speech impediment. baz is many things, mostly a dick, but at least he isnt someone who mocks speech impediments. its something that is oddly comforting to simon. baz may make his life miserable, but at least he knows not to make fun of something simon cant fix

as simon gets older his stutter becomes something he can kinda control (which hes quite proud of) but like every person with a chronic stutter: it gets bad when hes anxious or stressed

baz makes simon anxious and stressed

they share a room

as established above: baz is a dick

you can see simons problem

now baz ? he finds simons stutter endearing and maybe intentionally irritates simon just to hear him say, “p-p-p...phhh..piss o-off !!!”

baz isnt proud of it and knows that its probably something very offensive to stutterers, but to him its what makes simon so human. the chosen one, the heros of all heros, can barely say his own name without jumbling over his words

simon comes to learn that the only time he doesnt stutter is when hes defending others

baz notices this too and is disgusted by how in love that makes him feel

overtime simon slowly begins to accept his stutter and that it will probably always be a part of him, though he still prefers to use actions rather than words

when simon and baz get together, they develope a system that allows them to communicate without words. simon cherishes it dearly

baz also encourages simon to talk about his stutter. simon knows its baz’s way of getting simon to open up more to speaking, but he loves that baz tries to help

they have long conversations every night about how simons stutter feels (painful and like hes choking)

how baz can help simon during a bad stutter fit (dont try and guess what simon is trying to say. dont say the word for simon. just sit there patiently and wait)

if simon should give speech therapy another try (maybe, but for now simon is content with where he is)

what methods simon uses to speak smoothly (visualizing the words helps simon. and repeating what he wants to say numerous times inside his head)

in the end, baz’s dedication to helping and understanding simon’s stutter, along with penny’s fierce protectiveness over him, are what really help simon accept himself

simon’s stutter will never be cured, but for once the thought doesnt make him anxious or ashamed. he has two awesome people who love him as he is. thats what matters to simon. they keep him going

might add more but i was researching my stuttering condition late at night and needed something comforting. so why not project my insecurities onto my comfort characters ? we need more stutter representation (done correctly) anyways x

*please note that i myself have a chronic stutter. all experiences listed here are my own. if anyone tries to tell me im wrong i will cry

[beelspillowpet]

Oh I burned things as a kid. I never set anything important on fire and never caused massive damage thankfully. But I’d burn paper, string, tissues, and basically anything that wasn’t really important.

Also, I have no clue what you look like, but you sound cute. You have a cute personality.

Now, I wanna talk about Melody’s relationship with Beel.

So Melody was honestly really drawn to him at the beginning, she doesn’t really fear him that much. He’s just so nice! Then Beel finds out about her love of baking when he finds her up and making cookies at like 2 am cause she couldn’t sleep and wanted cookies. They bake together sometimes, some failures some successes, but she has fun so it doesn’t really matter.

Then, at some point Beel invites her out to workout with him, and she decides why not. So they pretty regularly workout together, and at the beginning she literally has no idea what she’s doing. They grow pretty close cause of that time spent together, and she starts being more active instead of just sitting at her desk all day lol.

So switching gears, when she finds out about Lilith. She may not understand what it’s like to go through a war, but she understands what it’s like to lose someone important.

When Melody was in school she had a few friends, but not too many. Her closest friend was Sky. He was like a brother to her.

He knew about what her mother was like and he encouraged her to prepare to be able to leave as soon as she could. He was the main reason she was able to move out at all. But when they were about 15, he died in a car accident. The scarf she’s wearing in her picture was his, and his parents gave it to her to remember him by. It’s her most important possession, and she’d never forgive herself if she lost it.

She shut out everyone after she found out he died, isolating herself as much as she could. She hit an all time low, and it took years for her to completely recover. She ran away at 16. Her loss, the abuse, it was too much so she packed her things and ran. (I’m still trying to completely figure out how things went after, but I’ll let you know when I do)

She didn’t immediately tell Beel about Sky, a lot of trust has to be built before she tells people about him. But she understood how difficult it was to lose someone that important, and she made it known that she was there for him, whatever he needed she’d try her best.

Also I swear she doesn’t get close with all the bros over something depressing. It’s just with Beel, Belphie, & Mammon. (Belphie for similar reasons as Beel)

One day I may face reveal... One day. But don’t worry, I’m super duper cute. Like unrealistically beautiful. My cuteness almost rivals Asmo’s <3

Oh dear... Well I hope someday Sky and Melody meet again? Do dead humans even become angels or demons in this universe...? (Well they can now, I guess. MAKE IT HAPPEN!!! REUNION!!!??)

For my twins, they have some traumatic events too. Jin’s got a personal score to settle with demons as a whole, so when he’s dragged down to the Devildom with Jinx, that’s his opportunity to settle it. He doesn’t exactly hate the brothers are first because his “parent” (their guardian who brought them there) gets along with them. He takes his frustrations out in jokes and pranks, sometimes violent stuff, with other demons though. Thankfully he’s smart now. Some interesting stuff happened to him after a head injury~

As for Jinx.... Yikes. No one is allowed to know what happened. It’s implied a lot through her erratic behavior, but never outright spoken of. Beel and Lucifer try, but she’s not talking about it. She’s over it. Her therapist knows for sure, and so does Jin, but thats through very heavy implications. Jin knew what she was like before it happened, and he knows what she’s like after.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever outright say what’s happened to Jinx specifically, but Jin parade’s his incident around like it’s a prize. “I was shot in the head and survived. AND I’m a super genius!”

“Yet you choose to fight demons and steal from the rich.” Lucifer chides.

“Yes.”

[slamsams-blog]

Die Another Day - #24WeeksofBond

24 Weeks of Bond hits the low point this week with Pierce Brosnan’s swan song as 007 in “Die Another Day”.  Oh man, there is just so much to say and unpack about this movie, it’s hard to put into summary every which way this film fails to deliver.  This film came at a cross-roads for film goers who still loved Bond, but were starting to grow a little tired of the hokey-ness and sleaze of James Bond and were wanting something a little rougher.  “The Bourne Identity” had come out just a few months prior to high praise for it’s hard hitting, intense, stripped-down style...it was fresh.  A few months later “Die Another Day” comes out with an older Pierce Brosnan, some god awful writing and cartoonish cinematography.  Change needed to happen, and this movie would mark the end of the sex puns, over the top gadgets, and far fetched scenarios.

Listen, I LOVE Bond.  I really have a hard time saying a Bond movie is bad...but this movie. is. bad.  This is a tale of two films. The first half is an action packed drama that is gritty, and dark and the second half is like watching a Joel Schumacher Batman film (the one where Batman has nipples).  The plot is also a rip off of “Diamonds Are Forever” and constantly goes for the cheap pop - bringing out all the old gadgets and familiar looking scenes for the 40th anniversary of Bond.  There is just so much trash talk to shell out here, but let’s start with the good stuff.

Die Another Day actually starts out quite promising and delivers a thrilling pre-title sequence with Bond infiltrating a North Korean Army base where he has stolen the clothing of a man trading African Conflict Diamonds for some weapons with a Colonel of the North Korean military and his stooge Zao.  Bond is eventually found out but manages to escape the firing squad to chase down Colonel Moon on a HOVERCRAFT!  Pretty neat.  Colonel Moon eventually runs out of road and takes a fall appearing to be slain, but Bond is caught again by Moon’s dad and for the next 14 months, Bond will be held prisoner and tortured.

I always liked how they utilized the title sequence to take us through Bond’s captivity (even though we are forced to listen to Madonna’s over produced and just flat out weird song...what’s the deal with the random “Sigmund Freud” lyric?).  Though the song is hard on the ear drums, it does a great job in providing an aura of despair and pain in the torture aspect of the title sequence...maybe because the song is torture?

We come back from Madonna, and Jesus Bond is now being traded for Zao who has diamonds permanently implanted in his face from Bond’s intrusion.  This makes Bond angry and makes him question why MI6 would give Zao up.  M is also pissed about it, it appears that there is someone who is playing MI6 for fools.  M is so mad that she essentially burns Bond and relieves him of his 00 status, but this doesn’t stop Bond from forcing himself into cardiac arrest to escape and find out who is behind all of this.

See?  Starts out great!  If only they can keep this momentum going...(spoiler alert: they can’t)

Another positive about this movie is a great fencing scene with Bond and Gustav Graves (Toby Stephans).  I've just always been tickled by how much this scene escalates from a little game of fencing to an all out sword fight.  It is one of the few highlights of the film, complete with a cameo made by Madonna...something I’m sure she negotiated to sign on for the Bond theme.  Get that payday, Madonna!

Well thats about all the positive I can muster for this film.  It’s time to take the gloves off.  Die Another Day’s wheels start to come loose when Bond is in Cuba looking for Zao...during this time, he meets Jinx (Halle Berry), and the dialogue that will unfold, sounds like the writer brought in his perverted nephew, who is just out of high school, looking to write a scene to get his friends to laugh when they watch it in his parents basement.  Halle Berry is the victim of poor writing, and possibly poor directing, yes, but she also tries WAY too hard to be a cool, witty, and deadly agent.  I’ll give Berry the benefit of the doubt to an extent, but I really think she just over acted here.

On top of that - Brosnan and Berry have absolutely ZERO chemistry.  Brosnan is no spring chicken anymore, so we are supposed to believe a woman like Halle Berry would welcome the advances from a bird watcher in his mid-50′s who says Mojito really weird?  Come on.  And the obvious dick jokes and creepiness from Bond who is foaming at the mouth, desperate for sex after being tortured for over a year makes this scene so uncomfortable to watch.

But we later come to find out that Jinx is more than just a reincarnation of Honey Ryder from Dr. No...she is also a secret agent that seems to never take anything seriously and in the face of death by laser, still has time for jokes.  We find out Zao is trying to do gene-therapy treatment to change his identity to someone else.  Much like Colonel Moon had done, turning himself into the man we will come to know as Gustav Graves.  The adrenaline filled, publicity junky, billionaire with an eye for diamonds.

Speaking of over acting, Toby Stephans puts out a good effort with the Gustav Graves character but he is just so over the top with his “evil” looks that there is no denying that he is indeed the villain.  Some of the best villains in cinema and television are villains that get you to like them.  They play to your emotions, let you in on their dark secrets, give you a smile and a laugh, maybe even make you connect with them in a twisted way...but Graves lets you know by his nostril flares and angry glares, that you couldn’t possibly like him if you tried.

Graves invites Bond to his party in Iceland, (isn’t Greenland the icy one?). This is when the movie goes off the rails completely, the second half of the film that looks like the props, sets, and lighting design were borrowed from the Power Rangers.  This ridiculous ice palace accompanied by the super ridiculous revelation of the “Icarus” - a satellite made out of diamonds (exactly like Diamonds are Forever) is just so off-putting. The Icarus shoots a beam as powerful as the sun and can also be used as a freakin sun beam death laser from the sky.  Yes, you heard that right.  At one point Bond is involved in a chase where he is being tailed by a sun beam death laser from the sky.  This leads to the most cringe worthy scene in all of Bond...Bond escapes by CGI surfing.

I’ve said before, one of the aspects of the Bond films that makes the series so successful is the heavy emphasis on real stunts.  REAL STUNTS.  Director Lee Tamahori thought it would be fun to amp up the CGI because he thought that CGI was the future of the Bond franchise, oh was he sorely mistaken. He also thought it would be a good idea to insert a bunch of slow motion shots throughout the movie, they were going for the ‘Matrix effect’ but it did not play well.  It’s choppy and pixilated and just ruins any momentum they managed to build up - it just ends up being annoying. 

If that wasn’t bad enough, Q Branch comes out to “Jump the Shark” by delivering an invisible car.  Really?  This is just another example of the theme of this film taking everything one step too far.  But maybe you could argue that that is what we needed in order to know what our threshold as a Bond audience is.  You could say that maybe Die Another Day was the most important film in the canon for that reason.  Maybe Die Another Day was the sacrificial lamb to fall on it’s own sword to prevent us from going in that direction again, maybe...this movie SAVED THE BOND FRANCHISE??

Eh, Now I’m just devil’s advocating myself.  This is thee worst Bond movie of all time and anyone who says differently has no idea what they are talking about, or are just trying to be ‘Ironic’, or whatever.  This film ends with Gustav Graves becoming an electrifying super-shredder villain whose design was probably stolen from the Mega-Man video games.  The final battle taking place on a plane that is crashing due to a window being knocked out and is also being destroyed by the Sun Beam death laser from the sky.  In other words...more CGI.

And to top it all off, we end on another uncomfortable scene with Bond and Jinx again, spitting out blatant toilet humor dialogue making us think that they are getting busy, but it turns out Bond is just putting diamonds in her belly button (which she really wants to leave in for some reason).  Traditionally, a Bond movie would end with some witty pun being the last bit of dialogue you would hear before credits, but this...I still can’t figure out how this left the writer’s table. 

Bond: “I'm still not quite sure how good you are.”

Jinx: “I’m sooo good...”

Bond: “Especially when you’re bad.”

huh??  It’s not even a pun, it just doesn’t make sense.

Honestly, you can tell Brosnan is thinking “who the hell wrote this shit?” while he is delivering that final line.  sigh.  The good news is that we can only go up from here!  This would be Brosnan’s final performance as James Bond, even though he publicly announced he was going to do another one.  Didn’t quite work out that way, the film studio eventually phased him out, leaving Brosnan at curbside.  Probably for the best, Brosnan was great for that time, but the pressure was on for change.  And change we would get - with Daniel Craig.

That’s all for me tonight, let me know why you hated this movie!

Reviews from Friends:

Tyler Dahlgren

See I like Toby’s Graves. That guy plays despicable well (Black Sails anyone?). It’s the redeeming part of the movie for me. That and the car. I love the Aston Martins, let’s stick to those.

Andrew Albertsen

I think the whole movie should’ve just been about Bond’s incarceration and torture and eventual escape.

My Mom

Sam you don’t mention Rosemund Pike in your review. I thought she made an outstanding ice queen. This had its moments and I do love Pierce Brosnan as Bond but this film was way too long and too much continuous action. A person tunes out.

Jake Benrud

The end of an era. All the gadgets and the over the top villains complete with "diamond face" and a genetically modified psychopath with daddy issues. I don't understand why he needed to drive his car in the ice palace in the first place. Also, that was an epic dive by Halle Berry.

24 Weeks of Bond will return next Monday with - 

Quantum of Solace

[my-makeshift-masquerade]

A Strange One

(Based on my Pokémon Let’s Go save file before I decided to restart in order to play through the game without being so worried about completing the story. I genuinely did not know where Mewtwo was until one of the NPCs told me, and I was originally going there to catch other pokémon. I ran into the legendary on accident, and sort of hesitated before deciding to... turn around and leave him alone? Anyway, this is a quick story based off of that.)

Becca could never forget the lab she found on Cinnabar Island. The records. The glass container broken from the inside. That place haunted her. What must have happened there made her shudder.

Since that day, she had tracked down professor Oak, and admitted that she never wanted to be a champion at all.

He and his grandson were surprisingly understanding, and she finally felt a little less afraid of being something other than a trainer...Her pokémon were all very accepting, too. They would still do battles sometimes for fun, but a lot of her team members acted like a sort of pressure was lifted off of them.

Then, word got to her about Mewtwo. She didn’t know if anyone else knew what she did, or ever entered that lab. All anyone ever talked about was how powerful this being was. Perhaps her lack of ignorance on his origins made her find these remarks more than a tad disturbing. Her partner Eevee, affectionately named Eva, seemed to feel the same way as her. After all, they both saw the horrors dormant in that place.

It was quickly settled between them. They would go searching for Mewtwo, but not for the reasons that everyone else had. Above all, as odd as it sounded, she wanted to make sure this pokémon was alright. A legendary as strong and elusive as he would not sit in waiting to be found by humans, not after what humans had done to him.

The deep chill of Cerulean Cave made her shiver, even with the warm furry Eva huddled in her arms. She couldn’t imagine what the water must feel like down here... Eventually, she realized she had to be close, and stopped walking.

“H-hello?” Becca called out, feeling insanely stupid all of the sudden, “M-my name is Rebecca, and this is my partner, Eva. We-“

“I know why you’ve come.” A voice echoed in her mind, “You and all the other humans come for the same selfish reason. Come closer...if you dare.”

“W-would you feel comfortable if we d-did?” She nervously spoke into the darkness of the cave again, as she slowly put down her bag, “H-here, I can leave my supplies behind i-if that would be-“

“...Why do you act like you care?” Mewtwo’s voice sounded skeptical, “What does this matter to you?”

Becca paused, “I-I care because...I...I know where you came from. I-I ran into it on accident, b-but I know...”

“...” It was quiet for a moment, and the young trainer suddenly felt like her mind was being sifted through, sorted and organized.

“Come...closer.”

She took a hesitant step forward, then another. Eventually she was face to face with the legendary Mewtwo. Eva reached her paw out as if to wave hello, and Becca nervously followed suit.

“You do not lie.” The clone said, “I saw your memories... I saw your thoughts. You... are genuine.”

“Eee-vee!” Eva nodded confidently at the other pokémon, as if to say “I told you so!”.

“Your partner agrees...” He commented with a distant tone, before returning his focus on her, “So... you wish to warn me of the other trainers...”

Becca nodded, “Yes, I know of many who want to capture you, but they never saw the things I did. They don’t know what they’re doing...”

“Thats how most humans are.” Mewtwo replied bluntly, “Yet you are not like most humans...”

“Well...” She shrugged, “Pokémon make more sense to me than people.”

“It is because you feel deeply, like a pokémon does.” The clone clarified, “You are a human, but a very strange one.”

The pokémon spoke from its mouth for the first time in the whole conversation, “You do not have to challenge me to battle if you do not wish to capture me. You are allowed to leave in peace.”

“W-Will you be okay?” Becca frowned with slight concern, “The trainers that want to catch you are very strong-“

“I will be the judge of that.” The clone replied solemnly, “Though, you have already proven your worth to me in what you chose not to do.” He bowed his head to her, “If you wish to visit me again, I shall allow it, but bring only your pokémon.”

“Of course...” She nodded, “Well, I am gonna go...catch a Jinx... because I need to do that to-“

“Complete some kind of data catalog.” His voice entered her mind again, “I can read your thoughts, remember?”

“Oh right! Well, uh, bye...”

[gionamim]

BRIANNE TJU,  CISFEMALE, SHE/HER.  —  looks  like GIONA MIM is  attending   AURORIA UNIVERSITY  in  auradon.  they’re  the  NINETEEN  year  old  child  of MADAM MIM,  which  means  they’re  from  THE ISLE OF THE LOST.  heard  they’re  SOCIABLE  &  LOYAL,  but  can  also  be  RECKLESS  &  FORLORN  ;  we all have our bad days.  people  normally  associate  them  with  LETTING MUSIC LEAD YOUR BODY , MUSHING A PIE ONTO SOMEONE’S FACE , STOMPING AROUND IN BOOTS TOO BIG TO FEEL POWERFUL ,  CLOSING THE DOOR SO NO ONE SEES YOU WISHING ON A STAR —  

hello hello !!! it took me way too long to plan this child but now that she’s here im so excited for her !! pls if u like cabaret, magic, baking, and bitching, then step right up !!!

[ PROFILE ]

NAME: giona giulietta mim

NICKNAMES: gg

AGE: 19 

HEIGHT: 5′1″ (smol)

BDAY: november 2 ( scorpio! )

BIRTHPLACE: camelot

DEATHPLACE: .....camelot

FEATURES TO NOTE:

vk colours: pink and green and black

tattoos of constellations dotted and lined on her left calf: the lyra, and scorpio

dotted by herself

she has no pulse, no heartbeat

she doesn’t bleed

body temperature is cold

her skin heals quicker than average, if damaged

DOESN’T LOOK ‘DEAD’ (no dead skin, no disconnecting limbs)

she actually looks pretty perfect lol thats the star in her heart ayyy

when she’s truly happy*, she glows (like a halo around her head)

*truly happy = well ..... it’s a case-by-case basis

ON THE ISLE: it wouldn’t have been a full halo ... just more like a sparkle in her eye 

[ BACKGROUND/ SUMMARY AT THE END OF THIS SECTION  ]

madam mim has always been an average witch, but the way she gains excessive power momentarily is by eating the hearts of other witches, wizards, and magical creatures. this was how she fought merlin, way back when. and when she was defeated, she was furious, distraught, ashamed, embarrassed, but mainly furious

she spent years trying to find the perfect heart to consume, the one that would give her the ultimate power to defeat merlin once and for all (petty bitch)

she REALLLYYYY just hated losing and its SO PETTY BUT SHE LETS IT DRIVE THE REST OF HER DAMN LIFE

and it took her years and years. TOO LONG, in fact. because by the time she found one, the creation of the isle of the lost had been found, and she was running out of time.

she figured out that the way to beat merlin was to use his own tools against him: LOVE, BELIEF, GOODNESS. and she was losing power, so there were no pure hearts to be found easily (though snow white had plenty of children, they were too heavily guarded), so she sought other means. 

she studied the lore of stars. she charted, planned, and waited for the next fallen star. it is said that if you were to consume the essence of a star, you would be filled with the purest magic of all, an everlasting, and sustaining magic. 

a week before she’s meant to be thrown into the isle, she finds a star. 

but it’s not all she thought it would be. the essence of the star was so pure, it was fading in her evil hands. in its raw form, it refused to be consumed, let alone touched, by her. so she wrapped it up in a cloth (its light already fading slowly), and scurried away, seeking another way to keep the star and ultimately eat it. 

bear in mind this is all just to defeat merlin 

she experiments quickly, using millifractions of the star and testing it on different creatures: she finds out that if she chooses the little woodland creatures and let them eat the heart -- and she eats their hearts...she’s awashed with the intense magic. 

but how to find a large enough heart that will stay alive all these years in the isle? she decides to find her child. the child she abandoned decades ago, the one where she can’t even remember where she left it. 1 year old, wandering the woods, died in the cold of winter. but she knows where it would have gone -- to the land of the dead.

and there, she finds a wizened old skeleton (elder gutknecht) telling her that she simply cannot take the dead out as she pleases -- but madam mim uses the last of her magic to find a way and now she finally has a capsule in which to keep the essence of the star

she keeps it in her daughter’s heart. and as soon as it is in there, the girl comes back to life -- well, an almost-life. she has no blood rushing through her veins, no heartbeat. she doesn’t feel pain or exhaustion as a living girl does. 

on the isle, mim begins a MIM’S MUSICALE -- a cabaret show and dinner theatre. giona is the cleaner and the waitress, as soon as she was old enough to carry a tray of food and a mop&bucket. it helps when your child’s half-dead and somehow seems more energetic at night. 

this is where mim’s ego truly thrives bc even tho she’s lost her shapeshifting powers, its still like 7 nights a week, ppl going to HER place to watch HER perform (like they have a choice lmao)

probably gives herself awards

fast forward to 12 yrs old: mim is settling into isle life but still impatient for when she and the other villains can break out. she hears giona singing while washing the dishes from the night before. the girl can sing. and, yes she was losing patrons bc mim’s performances are just too abstract for ppl to like (clearly). so she forces giona to become the new act. makes her perform, sing, dance, every night. 

mim almost forgets that there’s a star in this girl’s heart. she almost forgets, until she sees those small moments when giona’s in the kitchen, when she thinks mim can’t see her; baking a small cupcake from whatever ingredients she could find, and though there’s no magic allowed on the isle ... there is still something unnaturally bright about that girl. and she hates her for it. 

this ‘goodness’ and ‘purity’ thing is very merlin-y and she HAAAAATES THAT

HATES SUNLIGHT, HATES BRIGHTNESS, HATE, HATE, HATE!!!

BLACK SORCERY IS IN !!! MERLIN IS OUT !!!!!

so she works giona to death (sort of). and tells her she’s ugly. and bullies her into low self-esteem. 

16 years old: mim is getting more restless about being trapped in the isle. she decides to take action again. she begins to teach giona the mim magic, which is hexes and jinxes and shapeshifting, and ofc, a hatred for merlin. 

but by this time, giona’s made up her own mind about her life. and she won’t let her mother live it. 

SUMMARY: giona was dead and brought back to life with star-essence that mim put inside her heart, so she will eat the heart when giona breaks her out of the isle and then she’ll use that star magic to destroy merlin and be considered the greatest sorceror once and for all mwahahahaha. also the star thing is a complete secret, mim hasn’t told ANYONE and giona has no clue about the glowy thing.

WHAT CLOSE FRIENDS OF GIONA WOULD KNOW:

she has no heartbeat, her body is sort of cold, doesn’t bleed, doesn’t need as much sleep

probably if they’re the kind of friends that like ... are genuinely good for each other lmao, they probably saw a bit of giona’s ‘glow’ when she’s truly happy

[ PERSONALITY ]

100 bad bitches can’t tell me nothin’

still a sort of mini-mim because giona also has a very short temper and is prone to just .... never letting things go lmao 

hates her mother: found out at a young age that actually, she’s not ugly, and she’s not stupid and she starts to drown out mim’s nagging and bullying

but still, in the middle of the night (bc for some reason she feels more active at night and cant sleep), she hears her mother’s voice in her head and cries herself to sleep

loves music & shows & plays & acting & performing:  but hates being forced by her mother to do everything. she hates being forced to sing by someone, she hates being told what to do

hate hate hate !!!!

loves to bake: little cupcakes and muffins and baked goods, and cookies ofc, and bread, she loves to make all kinds of bread and pastries. at least, that’s the dream. on the isle, she’d be lucky if she could find clean flour. so far, she’s only made cookies and tiny cupcakes.

these foods are only reserved for her friends, and they are all SWORN to secrecy that they will never tell her mother

loyal to a fault: once she feels she can trust you, she will never let u go. it’s ride or die. growing up with a mother hell-bent on hating her, she began to appreciate the few friends she made on the isle, and will do absolutely anything for them

still tho she’s like ..... she’s a bitch first and a friend later 

loud as hell and speaks her mind and would probably get a tattoo that says NO RAGRETS.

loves magic: CAN’T WAIT TO USE HER POWERS AND TURN INTO ??? A BIRD ???

doesn’t know anything about her heart: all she knows is that her mother tells her to keep herself safe, otherwise all that “business of trying to bring you back to life will be for nothing”. 

so yeah, she knows she was dead. but she just believes her mother used necromancy to bring her back, and it clearly didn’t work the whole way because she’s not fully alive

but you wouldn’t even know it unless you tried to find a heartbeat

[ how they feel about heroes/villains ]

giona only hates one thing for sure that is her mother lmao

merlin ???? will be fun to see but like otherwise doesnt give two shits, will probably praise him and send him a cupcake to thank him for defeating her mum

operates on a “if you mess with me, i will mess with you back” basis

doesn’t want to join any squads that plan to ‘ruin auradon’ because to her its just hakuna matata bro let it go why can’t you just be happy we’re actually here ?? lets fuckin run away !!!

[ CONNECTYONS ]

from the isle:

VKs who regularly came to MIM’S MUSICALE and saw her perform! she will hate the reminder ty 

MIM probably also hired a few weekly performers, ppl who performed once a night so if ur muse was a performer on the isle pls hmu !!!! 

VK friends that giona met and has them try her tiny baked goods 

they must love the cupcakes and cookies OR ELSE >:(

now in auradon:

those who know magic, who would investigate/recognise why she glows when she’s ‘truly happy’ and tell her that she’s a STAR and that her mother is probably planning to EAT HER

DEAD PEOPLE TO BOND WITH OVER BEING DEAD 

women/nb to squad up with and go shopping with and basically pls give her a girl squad she will fight anyone for you and you can do each other’s nails and just MAKE HER TRULY HAPPY W REAL FRIENDS AAHHH

someone to show her the kitchens :0 and take her grocery shopping :0

MAGIC PPL TO TEST-DRIVE MAGIC WITH. i’m talking fun duels, and pranking people pls.

musicals ?? to join ??? where she can finally play the roles she wants to play, and sing the songs she wants to sing ??? amazin

[ MAD MIM MAGIC ]

shapeshifts into any animal !

shapeshifts their size ! can be teeny-tiny or gigantic

shapeshifts their features to look a little different ??? like can look hideous, or more beautiful, or taller, or with bigger ears -- but can’t change into a whole other person

potions and hexes and jinxes take more concentration, but she can do it

[ NOTES / STAR THINGS ]

oKAY SO !!!!

the star part is greatly inspired by Stardust, the movie, especially the part about her glowing when she’s truly happy

mim is essentially growing her child to one day be able to eat her heart, gain the infinite powers, and defeat merlin

but since giona is the star (over the years, the star became a part of her heart), rather than someone who consumed it, the magic works differently for her. so she glows, and she heals easily, and she is awake more at night. with giona, the star ecomes a way of being rather than a power-source.

if her heart were to be taken out, she would go back to being dead, with no hope of a second life as an undead or zombie, because the star is the only life giona actually has. once it is gone, she is nothing.

giona can still do all of madam mim’s typical magic ! shapeshifting is the big one, and her thing is pink-green coloured animals.