#so that gets rid of half of all my screenshots

[skyburger]

do NOT go through old photos from 2020 when u are dumb as fuck like me and take anywhere from 6.5k to 30k photos a year. you WILL waste so much time. DONT FALL FOR THE TRAP!!!!

[snowthedemonfox]

So we got some screenshots for Ep 3, and I'm going to talk about some things I've noticed + some theories

I went off for over an hour in the bunnydoll burrow's VC talking about everything I noticed, but I'm realising writing it all down would be a smarter move, cause I know I'd forget it. If I've missed anything you think is important, let me know! I'll edit this post with new notes.

Let's start with the first screenshot, because that just makes the most sense:

The elephant in the room is the realistic human hand. I don't doubt this is the scene that has some level of blood and gore in it. We can't see what the hand is connected to, but whatever it is, it seems to be taller than Pomni and Kinger. They're both looking up, and the camera angle is facing down towards them both.

We can see 2 heads hanging from the wall behind Kinger, and what we can assume to be a 3rd behind the desk behind the hand.

One of these heads, as many have pointed out, seems to resemble Pomni. The face is entirely white, what I can assume is an eye seems to be the same size as Pomni's, and you can see that familiar looking hair on the side.

Even the other two things we see look like other members of the cast!

The head to the right of Kinger looks like Ragatha. It's got the hair, and even the face looks to be made of actual fabric, like a real doll. It seems whatever these things are, they're meant to look like more 'horror' versions of the characters.

(Side note, but if I had to guess, if Glitch releases a 3rd sticker sheet for episode 3, I wouldn't surprised if we got a new set of icon variations for the main cast. But instead of candy, we get these horror versions instead. I think that'd be cool, and I really hope that's what happens.)

You could even go as far to say the 'human' hand we're seeing is from the horror version of Kinger. Like I said before, the camera is looking down at them. Why would it be looking down? Because whatever's looking at them, is attached to the wall.

Moving onto other details in the room, we can see there's a chair behind Pomni with some kind of light on it. At first, I thought this might have been the tape recorder from the February trailer, but you can see the tape recorder is on a desk, not a chair.

And while there is a desk in the room, whatever is on there doesn't look like a tape recorder. It looks more like a photo, or some kind of radio.

The giant 'M' on the rug. We know the ghost lady's name is Martha Mildenhall, so this probably implies she owns the mansion the gang are exploring. Why would she need their help, though? Maybe whatever force is moving the hand in the screenshot, is some kind of 'evil' ghost, and that's why Pomni and the others are there to help. There's evil ghosts inhabitating the mansion, and Martha needs help to get rid of them. It's simple, it's your basic video game quest, it seems like a normal adventure plot that Caine would come up with.

There seems to be something behind the chair, but I can't make out if it's a door, some curtains, or some kind of closet. The lighting isn't doing me any favours. Either way, I doubt it's important to the episode, probably just background decoration.

As for my other thoughts that aren't as related to the screenshot itself, I do believe that everyone is going to be split up. Obviously Kinger and Pomni are working together, but I'm still not sure if Jax would be hanging with Ragatha & Gangle, or if he'd be off doing his own thing. As for Zooble, I'll get to them later.

And this might just be me looking into things too much, but it almost looks like one of Kinger's eyes is focused entirely on whatever is behind the camera, while the other isn't focused at all. Like he's half paying attention to the 'danger' he and Pomni are in.

But that's really all I have to say about the first screenshot. Let's move onto the main event:

Again, let's get the obvious out of the way: new Zooble design! They've got some new parts, like the arms, unicorn horn, and the blocky yellow and pink thing, but also some old parts, like the bluish-green ring, and their classic black and white antenna. So far, I like this design! I'm happy to see that they've decided to mix things up a bit. Not my favourite design, but still decent. They've got good taste.

Before I talk about Zooble and Caine, I first want to talk about the location they're in. At first, I thought this might've been Zooble's room, but looking closer, it's obviously not. Then I thought it was that little desk area at the end of the dorm hallway.

But nope, the hallway has different plants, picture frames, wallpaper, and no chairs to be seen. The plants we can see look similar to those seen in Caine's resturant realm from Ep 1, so I think I can safely guess that this is a new location, made specifically for him and Zooble to chat.

Speaking of that, I think that's going to be the driving point of Zooble's character development this episode. Something is going to convince them to join the future adventures, and it seems this will be that something. We know thanks to the AMA, that Zooble not going on adventures is important to their character, so having their episode focus on this topic makes sense.

What I can assume happened to lead up to this interaction is this:

Caine announced the adventure, and just like in both Ep 1&2, Zooble immediately expresses that they are not interested, and walks off. Caine can't really do anything about it yet, so he focuses on everyone else. Explains the rest of the adventure to them, and sends them on their way.

He then catches up to Zooble before they reach wherever they planned on going, and teleports them both to this new room. It looks almost like some kind of waiting room, or a room where they're both supposed to talk things out. It's got the comfy chairs, wall art, I wouldn't be surprised if there's a little table between them.

Zooble, obviously, is not impressed. They don't care about Caine's adventures, and want nothing to do with whatever he has planned for them in the meantime. Caine, on the other hand, just wants to figure out why Zooble doesn't want to go on his adventures. He spends so much time figuring them out! Just for the humans! Why won't Zooble participate!?

This very likely evolves into an argument between the two. I like how Caine is clearly angry in this screenshot. It's nice to see him show some more variety when it comes to emotion!! Zooble doesn't care for whatever Caine is saying, and Caine just wants to understand why they don't care.

Something happens, maybe they do talk it out, maybe something else, but by the end of the episode, Zooble decides that maybe going on a few adventures isn't that bad. I think it's way too early to guess what happens in that huge timeskip, but for now, this is the best I've got.

I feel Zooble's arc in this episode might touch on a few topics, like how while they might think staying by themselves all day and doing their own thing is better for them, isolating themselves isn't doing anyone any favours, and that, for lack of a better term, going 'outside' every once in a while can't hurt.

... and that's pretty much all I can think of to say regarding these two screenshots! I'm sure we'll get to learn more as the episode release gets closer, but I'm excited to see how things turn out!! :3

[bas-taard]

it appears that quite a big chunk of veilguard armours had to undergo some visual changes. in the pre-rendered icons a lot of the armours have high collars and hoods, whereas their in-game variants do not

the most jarring example:

my best guess is that the high collars were breaking the fancy new hair strands, so they had to scrap all of them.

moreover, the armour in the icons tends to be less colourful. whether it's just different lighting or more fundamental changes to the models, i don't know. just look at that colour difference!

so i got curious and decided to do a mock up of what the original would look like, and holy shit

colour balance to get rid of that stupid purple haze, darkened the shadows and brought the collar back, and that already looks soo much better

if the hair is the problem, i say fuck the hair, make it stick to rook's head like it's glued on there, but stay true to the original armour designs because, maybe, just maybe, the artists knew what the fuck they were doing. and the purple haze? no wonder half the mods up on nexus are reshades, it looks ridiculous

all of the screenshots are from this video, you can play a fun game of spot the difference yourself

[katoska]

Theory why Betelgeuse left Lydia's side to "go to the little boys' room" and took over for Richard at his booth for a bit:

Yes, he could have dealt with Jeremy without playing dress-up and taking over Richard's job, and didn't have to enable Richy to get a little more family time in the process. They could have saved Astrid just fine without that, so it seems unnecessary, for him to do that. OOC, even. Except

2) Richard wouldn't owe Betelgeuse a big favor for said taking over of his job and enabling the extra family time with Lydia and Astrid. Also, ofc, for saving his daughter from trading places with Jeremy. Betelgeuse did all that at great cost to himself: A Code 699 violation (see screenshot of transcript from reddit below) gets you extra time working as a civil servant, it gets your topside privileges revoked, and it voids any marriage you entered into, so his contract for payment from/marriage to Lydia was meaningless (well, if it had been a marriage certificate rather than just an agreement to get married in the future. and if he'd actually signed it. and then possibly only if he'd signed it before entering the Netherworld so there'd be a marriage TO void, rather than... not signing it at all... *sigh* he totally burned that half-signed and not-yet-binding contract himself bc he understood she wasn't ready to marry him yet, is what I'm saying, but I digress).

1) Lydia wouldn't have gotten closure for her ex's death without it. Closure which she sorely needed, because the fact that Richard's body was never found plus her seeming inability to see his ghost (Richard: "I know you two can't see me, but I check in on you all the time") add up to her having been in denial of his death. She couldn't see his ghost because she really really did not want to see proof that he was dead. So now she gets to move on from him. Which is very convenient for B. Especially as Richard is unlikely to be able to visit her anytime soon even now that Lydia has accepted his death and should be able to see him again, but I'm getting to that.

Still 2): Anyway, B doesn't do favors. He does business. If people are allowed to take over for others at their jobs in the afterlife, but those jobs are also a form of punishment where you have to "do time" at them for a specific duration, then those work hours are a currency that you can give away or trade. You can, if you find someone who is willing, get someone to do your time for you (hell, you can even get a naive Breather to trade their actual Life for your afterlife existence).

So yeah, I don't think Betelgeuse took over Richard's booth just out of the goodness of his heart. I think they made a deal, one that means that B will be topside again much sooner than the Deetz' will expect so he can get back to trying to seduce Richard's ex (hey, Richard always supported lost causes, so... 😆), while Richard will be stuck at work, unable to visit the Living for a long and unspecified amount of time. Not that his family's gonna notice, bc they never used to see him visit them, anyway.

And yeah, according to someone from reddit who decyphered that page in the Handbook, there's a bit about how the Deceased who violated Code 699 has to cease Trading, if applicable.

But I think that only goes for post-conviction of the crime, not as an automatic consequence of the crime, as B was also still able to visit the Living World to attempt the church wedding. Which, actually, is yet more evidence that this latest marriage attempt was more for the sake of declaring his feelings and testing the waters (and showing off, and getting rid at the competition) than him trying to actually get, and stay, married. Cause the church wedding would have been voided by a conviction, too.

Anyway, that's my theory on B's incredibly considerate, and therefore incredibly suspicious, detour to Richard's booth and letting Richard have his heroic moment.

And tbf, Lydia and Astrid are Richard's family. So it wouldn't even be unreasonable to expect Richard to pay for the legal trouble B got into from saving them. Like, I'm sure he'd have done it anyway, but if B can pass on that buck then ofc he's gonna.

[putschki1969]

A Fine Line: Truth vs. Speculation

Due to popular demand, I will be taking a closer look at the infamous “FictionJunction & Kalafina Behind the Scenes” essay which is posted in three separate parts on a Livedoor Blog

UPDATE 24/10/10: As of October 8, the blog seems to have been deleted. Further proof of the author's questionable intentions if you ask me. But hey, nothing is ever truly gone on the internet so I will be using internet archives for my analysis.

UPDATE 24/10/17: Yuki Kajiura has addressed the blog in her most recent FC radio broadcast. She has read through it and wants us to know that all the “facts” are pure fabrications, especially the conspiracy theories regarding Sony wanting to control her and trying to slowly get rid of her involvement in Kalafina.

A few days ago, I provided some context and background info on the author so be sure to check out THAT POST before you read this one. While working my way through the individual sections, I will try my best to highlight the speculative parts for you so you know what you are dealing with.

Disclaimer: I will do this to the best of my knowledge and ability but please remember to remain critical at all times. You should always take these things with a grain of salt. While I would usually not hesitate to call myself somewhat of an expert on all things Kalafina, the same is not true when it comes to Yuki Kajiura. So even if my opinions and thoughts are well-founded, this should definitely not serve as a be-all and end-all source for you.

Parameters: I will highlight anything as "speculation" that doesn't qualify as cold, hard fact. This will entail straight-up lies, half-truths, conclusions with no causal links and full-on delusions of course but also more subtle things like exaggerations, embellishments, headcanons or projections of personal feelings.

Use of Auto Translate: Since my main goal is to reveal the speculative parts of the essay for casual fans, I want to save some time by simply putting the website through the automatic Chrome translation tool. It's not ideal and won't always make perfect sense (especially regarding the use of pronouns) but for now, it's the most convenient option. If there are any outlandish translations, I'll try my best to clarify them. For the purpose of this analysis, the translation should be fine though. I also blurred out all the photo descriptions in the screenshots because they were distracting, I've not removed any of the relevant text parts. ╭────────────.★..─╮ LET'S GO〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→ ╰─..★.────────────╯

Intro & Addendum ① The truth behind Kajiura Yuki’s departure from the agency ② The truth behind Kalafina’s split and hiatus ③ The activities of the members and Kajiura after Kalafina’s hiatus ④ The circumstances that led to Kalafina’s reunion and the truth behind Kajiura’s anger ⑤ Rights related to Kalafina

~Intro~ & Addendum

For clarification, the phrase "former member of the group" is a clunky translation of the part where the author refers to themselves as an “industry insider”, someone who has “formerly been affiliated” with Yuki Kajiura and Kalafina. Obviously, I believe this to be a total fabrication of the author who is aiming for attention and clout. I've already discussed this quite thoroughly in MY POST HERE so I won't go into detail again. Suffice it to say, I believe this person is an imposter pretending to have exclusive insider knowledge. As for the claim that these blog posts are "only focusing on facts", well, I beg to differ. While facts surely make up the basic framework of the essay, it is also filled with lots of unsubstantiated statements. Additionally, I am not buying into the whole "no intention of criticising anyone" thing because quite frankly, there's a lot of criticising and accusing going on here regarding Space Craft and Sony. Plus, this entire essay reflects super badly on Wakana. It's nothing obvious of course but there are subtle patterns that run like a red thread through the whole text (I'll highlight them once we get to the sections in question).

The addendum is basically a reiteration of the intro, serving to protect the author against any possible accusations of deception/fraud. However, they are doing a very bad job at trying to convince us of their credibility. What do you mean by "merely facts that you have seen and heard and that don't necessarily align with the facts of someone else"???!! Maybe this person struggles with the definition of the word "fact" but what makes a fact is solid evidence and not some random hearsay. It's also in the nature of facts to be true for everyone and not just for individual people. Oh well, what can you expect?

① The truth behind Kajiura Yuki’s departure from the agency

I have no issue with the names mentioned here. Those people have all indeed been part of Space Craft at one point or are still associated with the agency. You can find their names in Kalafina's credit booklets so that's undisputed. However, I do take issue with the strong focus on interpersonal relationships and soap opera drama. None of this has ever been officially confirmed (it's only ever been reported in tabloid papers). It's true that management positions at Space Craft have changed very frequently. You can see in the credit booklets that positions were switched up on a regular basis (with special titles changing just as often) which indicates that Space Craft has undergone a lot of restructuring throughout the years. Changes on management level are of course a very common practice in many companies. It's natural that some people will benefit from this and others will feel slighted. Obviously, these changes are not always triggered by professional reasons, there's a high possibility of private reasons being involved as well. However, there is no way of knowing whether Onishi was "obsessed" with anyone or if certain people were "being favoured" while others were "abused" and "demoted", these are merely speculations. At any rate, the fact that Inokuma has left the agency as well would suggest that the supposed special treatment wasn't so special after all. Mori may or may not have had his personal sensibilities offended which prompted his departure from Space Craft but the exact reasons behind it all have not been disclosed. "Often had disagreements over the direction due to Inokuma not understanding the process": Creative differences have been cited a few times as one of the reasons for YK's departure but that's the extent of our knowledge. We are not aware of any details as to who she's had those differences with or what exactly they couldn't agree on. There's also no way for us to judge Inokuma's skills as director/manager (or really anyone's for that matter). Not sure if Yuki has ever "negotiated her rights with a lawyer", I've personally not heard/read about that. Then we have Yuki's current status. Her partnership/association with Highway Star would suggest that she is not actually a "freelancer" in the strict sense of the word. In credit booklets, the agency is always listed as "artist management" alongside Yuki's own company FictionJunctionMusic so her status is a bit ambivalent if you ask me. But to be fair, that's neither here nor there, not really relevant for this analysis anyway. Claiming that YK is now able to "pursue her musical career more freely" seems a bit weird to me since Yuki has gone on record several times saying that she's never had more creative freedom than when she was working on Kalafina's music. There's no doubt that she is now doing a lot more soundtracks and live shows again but that's obviously because she has more free time to focus on that instead of new releases for Kalafina. Also, the main difference between then and now is that the huge success of Demon Slayer has afforded her the financial means to considerably expand her live activities. She's clearly enjoying the emphasis on concerts and events but we've no idea how happy she is about providing all those songs/scores to different shows/artists compared to how she felt when she was working on music for Kalafina...I'd argue it's not as fulfilling or fun. After all, she has been writing songs for all sorts of stuff during the Kalafina days and long before that too so nothing has changed about that.

② The truth behind Kalafina’s split and hiatus

For some reason, the author seems to be convinced that the higher ups at Sony were on an evil mission to "gradually get rid of Yuki Kajiura's involvement" so according to this essay, every change that happened throughout the years was just one step further into that direction. This is completely baseless and honestly makes no sense. There's zero evidence that either Sony or Space Craft ever wanted to remove YK from the project "Kalafina" before that whole falling-out thing happened. Quite the contrary actually, Yuki was always in charge of the music production and the higher-ups would never have given her so much free rein if Yuki's unconditional involvement wasn't exactly what they wanted. Did they involve more staff members when Kalafina became more popular and mainstream? Of course. It takes a lot of people and talent to handle activities on a larger scale. And since Yuki was busy working on new music almost all the time, there was no way she could have possibly handled all those things by herself. Apart from that, it was clearly necessary to bring in people with new ideas who knew how to adjust Kalafina's activities and marketing to better match their growing popularity and entry into mainstream territory. Many fans have bemoaned the fact that Kalafina had become too mainstream and idol-like in their later years but the truth is, if it hadn't been for these changes, Kalafina might never have gotten this far in terms of reach and success. The rather lackluster reactions to Kalafina's 10th Anniversary Live production are proof enough that a majority of fans actually preferred the more elaborate stage productions with dramatic elements, choreography and fan-service from the previous years. This is where people like "Minami Sasuga" come in, she is the one responsible for many of Kalafina's more engaging and epic live performances. For Yuki, the focus was always on singing so she never thought much of elaborate live productions but she obviously knew it was the price to pay for success. To conclude, no one was brought in to replace or drive away YK, they were merely invited to fill gaps that were in dire need of filling. The suggestion that a few "TV appearances and a collaboration with Shinji Tanimura" were failed attempts by Sony/Space Craft to "distance Kalafina from Yuki Kajiura" is once again utterly baseless. We have no evidence of that. How do those things even correlate to each other? Doing one thing doesn't exclude the other. If anything, these were attempts to broaden Kalafina's reach among different audiences. That part about "Sony intervening with Yuki's work/activities" also seems quite fishy. I have no details on this but what reasons would Sony have for those sort of restrictions all of a sudden if they had been fine with the situation all those years before? Not to mention that Sony (SACRA MUSIC to be more specific) is currently collaborating with Yuki again and there seem to be no issues about her performing all the old Victor stuff. All the things about Kalafina's cancelled activities in 2018 ("world tour, singles, albums, etc") are pure speculations taken from tabloid articles. Nothing has ever been confirmed. Might be true, might be a fabrication, we'll probably never know for sure. While it's certainly true that Keiko had been suffering from a "chronic illness" at that time (that sometimes made it impossible for her to do her job), the phrasing here makes it seem as if she was purposefully denied breaks and forced to perform when she was physically incapable. The truth is more nuanced. We do know that she got to take breaks if she needed them and whenever we actually saw her performing, there was never a point where she wasn't able to deliver solid vocals. It's easy to demonise the agency by saying they had poor Keiko slave away while suffering but based on what we know of Keiko's character, it was always her decision to keep working, she's the type to push through because she's not willing to let anyone down.

③ The activities of the members and Kajiura after Kalafina's hiatus

Keiko

Not for one second do I doubt "Keiko's strong respect" for Yuki Kajiura but I don't like the way this is framed. Somehow the girls are implicitly judged based on their level of respect for YK. And while Keiko is put on a pedestal here with her hero worship and unconditional loyalty, Wakana is the clear loser of this evaluation according to the author (see the section below). Also, why feel the need to include Keiko's little anecdote about her "low-voice complex"? Does anyone really believe that all the love and respect between Yuki and Keiko is based on something trivial like this? Yes, Keiko likes to tell the story about her low voice and she was obviously happy to get some positive feedback but this is in no way, shape or form the foundation of their relationship. We actually don't know anything about Keiko's motivation for that "trademark registration". She's never talked about it. She may have had plans as described above but to state it as fact is quite bold. YK has mentioned in interviews that she felt a little sad about the girls not getting to explore their own interests for a whole decade but I don't recall her saying that she was ever trying to "actively distance herself from them". Any perceived distance was caused by the rift between Space Craft, Yuki and Mori. Keiko, just like the other two members, did not "focus on Kalafina songs in the beginning" because she had nothing else to sing, it was more of a matter of wanting to please the fans who were obviously coming in with certain expectations. All three of them realised very quickly though that it was best to mostly/completely stay away from Kalafina covers for a number of reasons. I'd argue though that people "harshly criticising their covers" is very low on their list of reasons to avoid them.

Hikaru

We don't know what exactly caused the changes in Hikaru's voice and whether or not she "wanted to take a break to recover". This theory is unlikely though since there haven't really been any real "improvements" to her condition. She simply adapted to the state of her voice and sometimes it works for songs, other times it doesn't. The author refers to stipulations in the Space Craft contract that keep clients "from signing with another agency for a year after departure". This theory has been floating around forever and I've always found it to be quite plausible but once again, the author is stating it as fact here which I find problematic.

Wakana

This entire section somehow seems to imply that Wakana never cared about Kalafina or Yuki Kajiura and if you know anything about me, then you will not be surprised that I'm taking full offense at such claims. Portraying Wakana as the only one "who wanted nothing to do with Kalafina in favour of pursuing a solo career" is just wild. As far as we know, Wakana never had such a strong desire to be a solo artist (she actually often voiced her insecurities about performing alone) but still, this author makes it sound as if she was more invested in that dream than even Hikaru and willing to just abandon the Kalafina project. Completely untrue. For a while back in the early days, Kalafina was in a very fragile state with no concrete plans for the future. Members were not intended to be regular and everything happened on a tentative basis so of course, this would make everyone involved feel a little uncertain. No promises had been made to them, they had nothing to rely on so they would naturally have needed to look at other work options but obviously, none of them committed to anything else since they ended up becoming regular members of Kalafina. Again with this idea of Wakana "pining for her long-held dream of a solo career and being forced to sing YK's music" . Where does this person get their info? Hikaru has always been the only one among the three of them with the confidence and desire to stand alone on stage. Wakana is a lot more similar to Keiko in that regard, meaning that she prefers the comfort of having someone else on stage with her. That's not to say that she didn't have dreams of exploring her own music one day (and she has obviously been having fun throughout her solo career) but she certainly never minded being guided by Yuki and her fellow group members. Just like the other girls, she holds YK in high regard and treasures the music she has written for them. Wakana "chose stability over performing with Keiko, Hikaru and YK". The way this is phrased irks me so much because it is so clearly making Wakana out to be the bad guy in the situation. The person just named all the reasons why it was beneficial for Wakana to stay and in contrast, they also described the fate that would have awaited her if she had left as well. So yeah, Wakana chose relative stability over certain instability (as seen with Hikaru's circumstances). Not being able to perform with Keiko, Hikaru and YK was unfortunately one of the prices that had to be paid due to strict rules but to suggest she pretty much dropped them all like a hot potato for the sake of a bit of comfort is simply slanderous. And now the author is trying to convince us that there has never actually been any ban for Wakana, that "it has always been largely at her own discretion", that she is simply choosing to not collaborate with anyone for shits and giggles. Why would you say that? Just because we've examples of other Space Craft clients being able to work together with YK? That's completely irrelevant and has zero significance for Wakana's situation. Do we know what's in her contract? No. Do we know if it's the same contract as Yuuka Nanri's or Kaori's or anyone else's for that matter? No. So why make those conclusions?! We don't know anything about that. I find it rude to even suggest that Wakana and YK would willingly avoid working with each other again because even if this author might not believe it, there's certainly a huge amount of mutual respect between them.

④ The circumstances that led to Kalafina's reunion and the truth behind Kajiura's anger

Hm, is it "Space Craft's pride" alone that's stopping a proper reconciliation? Or Yuki's pride? Or Mori's pride? Or everyone's pride? I always hesitate to point the finger at just one involved party with disputes like this. It usually takes more than one party for a falling-out on such a large scale. I think there is a lot of hurt pride involved in this debacle. Yuki's official statement on the reunion live is a prime example of hurt pride. Of course she has every right to feel slighted but this was not a professional reaction. Say what you will about Space Craft treating the girls horribly but they are not always the sole perpetrator. I mean, yeah, the agency was their usual petty self by purposefully excluding YK and making the girls sign confidentiality agreements which surely caused them to feel uncomfortable but who was it that lashed out irrationally in public, essentially threw the Kalafina members under the bus and stirred up hatred against them? All I'm saying is that it is not as black-and-white as this person would have you believe. Everything else in this section is just pure speculation about future Kalafina projects. It's too early for that and I really see no point in coming up with all these prophecies of doom. It's funny though that according to the author, "Sony would suddenly not be interested in Kalafina without Yuki's involvement when they previously were so adamant about getting rid of her..." There's really no proof that Sony had no faith in Yuki's work prior to her success with Aimer and LiSA.

⑤ Rights related to Kalafina

I have no real qualms with the following sections. This part seems pretty well-researched and checks-out. While I'm not 100% familiar with all the legal aspects, this is information that can be looked up online. What I've found during my own research on music rights in Japan more or less aligns with what is stated here. So feel free to go through this without worrying too much about speculations.

I'm very glad the author puts emphasis on the fact that the girls are not the kind of people to be disloyal. Kudos to them!

We actually don't know yet what the "front band members" will do. Maybe they'll refuse to appear at the live out of loyalty to Yuki? Or maybe they will decide to support this reunion because the girls also mean a lot to them? None of them are bound by any rules, confidentiality agreements or stipulations so they can basically do whatever they want.

Regarding "Space Craft treating Kalafina too roughly", other people might feel differently but I still have faith in the girls. As far as I am concerned, they knew what they were getting into when they signed a deal with Space Craft. I mean, surely no one was holding a weapon to their head when they decided to do this so they must have collectively agreed that it was a good idea (at least in the beginning phase). I am not denying that this is currently a shit-show and that things are being handled in a very poor manner. It's the typical M.O. for Space Craft and they do deserve some of the backlash for that but let's be real here, so far, the roughest treatment has definitely not come from the agency. It has come from the fans themselves who've been hurling insults and accusations at the girls almost non-stop so maybe the fandom should first and foremost look inward instead of blaming Space Craft for everything.

»»———-THE END———-««

All right, that's it. A cookie for everyone who managed to read through all of this. Sorry for all the typos. I wanted to get this out last night but I should have done a little proof-reading first. Will edit the post whenever I have a little free-time.

[smitten-miqitten]

The more I look at old screenshots of my WoL, the more I'm starting to wish we could choose legacy graphics.

I LIKED the FF12-esque matte painting textures. I liked the painting-like quality, it was a feature. It was an awesome bit of art direction.

I liked when my face 4 Keeper Miqo'te WoL's eyebrows had built in highlights and shadows so they'd be fucking visible instead of this grey-ish, monotone, flat mess that lives at the whims of the new shininess of her face.

I liked when her forehead had enough volume to where there wasn't a gap in the hairline, the hair now floating an inch in front of her new shrunken skull.

I liked when the highlights/catchlights in her eyes were in the same spot on each eye, instead of the unfocused gaze she has now with one eye always having the catchlight too far to the left or right of the placement on the other eye.

I don't understand why so many shape changes were made. My WoL didn't suffer as much as others in the lips department, but genuinely why did they yolo a lip redesign for SO many faces? Half aren’t even in the same ballpark of what they used to be shaped like.

I was expecting a texture upgrade, not plastic surgery I had no choice in >:(

Before Dawntrail

After Dawntrail

Eyebrows in detail >:(

Endwalker benchmark vs Dawntrail Character creation.

Why did they get rid of the highlights? Even in the funky lightings for the character creator you can tell that unlike in Endwalker, the Dawntrail ones have no depth or volume at all and they go invisible on the middle range of skin tones. What was the point of changing these?! Keeper of the Moon always had darker brows than Seeker, but they were also still frickin visible!

[glazedsnail]

Fanfic time fellas

Misery Loved Company

ShanexOCFarmer (♀️) 18+ / swear words/substance misuse/explicit/suicide ideation/mention of abuse.

Part 1 is there, part 2 here, and there is part 3

Alsoooo - Sorry 'bout the formatting, I know it's weird but I'm trying I swear!

I'd also like to share a screenshot of the Pelican Town fair of my husband and our son a while back when I was still playing the game and not writing about it like a weirdo.

How stinking cute are we. Imma frame that thing.

Could the rain cool me down? I’m surprised it doesn’t evaporate at the touch of my skin. What about Shane?

‘Your farm. Now.’

‘Yes, sir.’ I reply, half jokingly.

‘Good girl.’

Dear…Fuck. I feel the fire between my legs, the sticky lust ready for him to defile every inch of me.

He stands up, grabs his bag, my basket, and helps me back on my shaking legs. He then hauls the blanket over our head. The way from the beach to my farm seems uncharacteristically long. I just know we both glanced at Elliott’s cabin, the saloon, Harvey’s clinic. But why would anything be open and, moreover, free for us to fuck like animals? The light emanating from the farm, transformed into a halo by the heavy rain, feels like a beacon of salvation. Shane throws everything in the mud and swipes me up, carries me towards the door and pins me against the wall, legs wrapped around his body. I blindly reach for the doorknob.  His tongue plays with mine in a mix of groans and deep breathing, punctuated by some swear words and oh so delicious moans.

Once inside, he throws me on the couch like I’m nothing. I watch him undo his belt, biting my lip, thinking about all the bail of hay he must have hauled away on the ranch to be able to carry me like this. He’s now done to his tight underwear and I try to undress.

‘Don’t move.’ He commands, growling.

He joins me on the couch and pulls my trousers down. I let him do, I’d let him do everything and anything he wants to me. My dirty strawberry juice stained  t-shirt is falling on my panties I long to get rid of. His stubble grazes my stomach as he makes his way to my breasts. His warm lips play with my nipple and I’m about to explode. I couldn’t even feel his hand reaching my hip. I gasp as I feel his fingers on my thigh, the palm of his hand on my panties. I bite my lip as he presses his fingers in between my swollen lips, still prisoners of the now damp cotton.

‘Mmh.’ he whispers in my ear ‘You’re already so wet’. He looks at me, at his complete mercy. 

‘Good girl’ he groans, massaging my clit under the cloth, looking straight into my pleading eyes. A sleazy smile spreads on his face. He finally gets rid of his underwear, freeing his throbbing cock raised towards his belly button, pre-cum sticking to his messy happy trail.

Something takes over me. I. Need. It.

I push him to the armchair on the other side of the room. He knows. No surprises. He shuffles down and spreads his legs, inviting me.

‘I’ll be your good girl’ I say in one breath, falling on my knees, between his warm open thighs. I look straight at him, intently kissing his inner thighs, slowly making my way to the main meal. He's breathing heavily, and passes his hand softly through my hair. I slowly lick the shaft, stopping myself from reaching the top. He groans in frustration and his hand grabs my skull, shaking,almost begging for me to take him whole. I keep eye contact as I put the tip between my lips and swirl around with my tongue. Then I finally let it slide, guiding it all its way to my throat. 

‘Oh fuck!’ he exclaims, grabbing the back of the chair.

That's it, I think to myself, let yourself go. Let me take care of you, let me show you how much I want you, your everything. 

‘Good…Girl…’ He manages to utter in between groans, still playing with my hair.

I've never quite performed like that. All I want is to please him. All I am in this instant is a machine built simply to satisfy Shane.

‘F-Fuck, stop!’ He lifts my hair and grabs me by the chin. I let his slobbered up cock out of my mouth. He brings me up to his lips. 

I'm now sitting with my wetness against his tweaking rock hard dick, his face buried in my breasts, and let him gather his senses.

‘You're not allowed to make me cum’ he whispers in a raspy voice. ‘Not yet.’ I shiver at the sound of his command. ‘Not before I can feel your pussy.’

I gasp as he grabs my ass and slides my panties down. Before I can say a word he rams himself inside of me in a grunt and I simply cannot help but scream.

‘Fuck..’ I manage to articulate. ‘You feel so…Ha!’ 

He laughs, grabbing my waist to help me up and down his wet cock. I sink my nails in his shoulders, feel his warm wet breath on my chest. A shiver goes through my whole body as I cannot help but bring out primal pleasure sounds. He stands up, keeping himself inside of me, and lie me down on the rug, slowly restarting fucking me. I’m on another plane of existence. Each and everyone of his strokes deliciously hit my walls perfectly. He must feel how much my insides are slowly milking him, begging him. Slowly falling on me, he softly caresses my lips with his, and smiles, as if to prepare me for his next move.  Now planted on his knees, he lifts my hips and starts pounding into me. My squeaks are now proper screams. ‘Oh you like that don’t you?’ He asks between his teeth. I only manage to nod. I do, I fucking do. He pounds me like I’m nothing but a ragdoll. Sweat is dripping from his forehead and he clenches his jaw, concealing a growl. I almost choke once he accelerates, incapable of fathoming how good his cock feels inside me.

Now I can no longer feel my toes curling. The heat is reaching my legs, my core, my whole body. I let this fantastic small death take me entirely. My body shakes, I can’t control anything, every part of me belongs to him, I’m but a slave to his every movement.

I hear myself scream his name as I fall back on the rug. Through my blurred eyes I see Shane smiling triumphantly. He bends back down to kiss me. I try to find my breath again, and even remember where I am. ‘Shane…’ ‘I’m not done with you.’ He growls, flipping me over, on my knees towards the couch. He mutters under his breath, slowly caressing the shaking skin of my thighs, the wetness of my crotch and legs, admiring his work. I use the couch to turn to him. He looks back at me in amazement, softly caresses my arched back, touches me so delicately like I’m the most fragile artefact in his universe, quickly forgetting how hard he was penetrating me just a few seconds ago. He pulls his sweaty hair back in a stroke. It immediately falls back down on his adorable face. I’m smitten. Completely lost in the contemplation of this man who just gave me his everything and who I want to please and satisfy for the rest of my life. ‘I know a way you can make the view even better.’ I say, swaying my butt slowly, realising just now how much of a slut I actually am right now. ‘Fuck me’ I hear myself plead. ‘Use me.’ That’s new. ‘ Use me to make yourself cum, Shane.’ Never ever those words had left my mouth. Normal me would be so embarrassed right now. He gulps, gently placing his warm hands on my hips, and insert himself inside me once more, in a delightful groan. I grab the old couch cushion so hard that my nails tear into it. He slowly plays with my inside, heavily breathing, trying to make the game last, knowing he already won and brought me to my knees. I can’t help but move my hips towards his, picking up the pace. ‘Well, aren’t you a little slut.’ Fuck I am, and I’m his. ‘Shane’

He slaps my butt before I can continue.

‘Shh… Good girl. My own little slut.’ The sound of his cock slowly coming and going inside my wet pussy echoes with his words. I am his own little slut. He spanks me again. I never knew this could feel so good. Each time I try to take the initiative he punishes me. Commanding me to keep at his pace. But quickly the punishment feels like delicious treats. ‘I know how to treat disobedient little sluts like you.’ He says behind clenched teeth. He grabs my arms, letting me bite into the couch, pounding into me, riding me to his own salvation. It can’t be. I can’t come a second time.

And still I do. My legs shake with all their might, my screams muffled by the couch, tears running down my face. Shane removes himself in a grunt. A deep moan fills the room as I feel his warmth covering my skin. I can barely move. Out of breath. Shaking. My ass covered in Shane’s cum dripping down. ‘Oh wow’ I hear him say. ‘You weren’t wrong. This is so hot’ He adds between long breaths. I want to turn around and kiss him, but I’m too anxious about depriving him of the view. He groans, struggling to stand up.

‘Where are you going?’

‘I’ll be right back, don’t move.’ He says, planting a kiss on my sweaty forehead.

He comes back with a towel and slowly pat out the mess. Tenderly, thoroughly. Each stroke feels like a caress on my very soul. I think I love this man. Once cleaned up he pulls me towards him and we sit on the couch. Still out of breath, in a whole new state of mind. The sound of the rain is finally reaching our ears. I’m thankful I don’t have any close neighbours. I nestle into Shane’s extended arm. He grabs my chin and kisses me. The smile…His smile… I nuzzle, content, into his neck. I never felt so fulfilled in my entire life. His calm breathing and arm wrapped around me tell me he’s probably the same. I want to stay like this forever.

He starts shuffling in his place and groans. ‘Is everything ok?’ He chuckles

‘Yeah, it’s just…Y’know I’m probably too old to make love on the floor.’

I laugh.

‘My knees are killing me’ I say, nestling more into him. He squeezes me against him in a laugh. My heart skips a beat as I repeat in my head what he said. I can’t help but giggle. “Make love” he clearly said. “Make love” I repeat again and again in my poor tired brain. I let out a long satisfied sigh.

‘You ok…Huh’

I sit up, eyes wide open.

‘Fern, my name is Fern?’

He bursts out laughing, and blush, slightly embarrassed.

‘No. I mean, yes I know’ He scratches the back of his head, still laughing. ‘I was looking for, I dunno, a pet name? Since we’re, y’know.’

I gasp.

‘We ARE a couple, aren’t we?’ 

He chuckles.

‘I mean, it’s fucked up that you’d want that but.’

I slap his arm.

‘You stop that this instant!’ I sit back up and kiss his red cheek. ‘So, pet name, heh?’

‘Muffin?’

‘No.’

‘Boo?’

‘Yoba, no!’ ‘Honey butter?’

‘What the fuck?’

‘Sweet meat?’

‘Ok, now you’re just having fun.’

‘Biscuit? Jam?’

‘Are you hungry?’

‘Oregano? Thyme? Sage?’

‘Shane you’re just listing herbs.’

‘Safran!’

‘Shane! Stop!’

No please don’t, your smile, your laugh, being so silly, so comfortable with me. Yoba, fuck’s sake I love him.

‘Heh’ I start again once we stop laughing. ‘You can always call me what you called me earlier.’

His eyes widen as he remembers.

‘Oh damn Fern no, you’re not, you’re not a slut. It was, you know.’

I can’t hold my laugh. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so flustered.

‘Not so brazen now are we?’

‘I’ll show you brazen.’ He replies, pinning me down on the couch.

Sadly the phone starts ringing.

[invinciblerodent]

Baldur's Gate 3's Potato Chowder - RECIPE

So a few days ago, I found this recipe around the start of act 3, near the kitchen of the Temple of the Open Hand in Rivington:

[Screenshot of recipe as it appears in-game. Exact steps will be transcribed below, within the recipe.]

It looked... honestly very simple and not dissimilar from a Hungarian potato főzelék/stew (which is a very cheap and homely peasant dish I love), so I just made it for lunch today, and guys....

this soup is uh. really fucking good. I tried following it as close to the letter as possible, but since it's quite vague, I did have to improvise a fair bit- but it's very cheap and easy to make, it's warm and comforting while still quite light (there are like. NO spices in there, it's a very European-feeling dish), and I'd say it's surprisingly filling, but it's. It's potatoes, so there's nothing exactly surprising about that.

I tried to write out the recipe in a very beginner-friendly way, so even if you're not super confident in the kitchen, it should be easy to follow! ❤️

Make yourself some video game soup, it's awesome.

INGREDIENTS:

(For about 6 servings)

A roughly egg-sized lump of lard (This can be subtituted with a different cooking fat if you'd like, but I recommend sticking with lard, as it adds a nice flavor, and it's kind of the staple fat for these peasant stews.)

Potatoes (I used just under two pounds)

Half of a medium leek

Small yellow onion (or half of a larger one)

2 cloves garlic

Roughly 1/2 to 1 cup white cooking wine (optional, substitute given in recipe)

Vegetable stock (or chicken- or beef stock, or water)

2-3 tbsp all purpose flour

Salt to taste

1/2 cup of sour cream/créme fraiche (optional)

Shredded cheese and/or croutons to serve (optional)

(Recipe with transcriptions and exact steps under the cut!)

(This is basically all there is in this. Honestly.)

STEPS:

"1. Put your lard in a pot- a chunky one, mind. When it stops being lard and starts being hot lard, add any good-smelling veggies (leeks, garlics, onions) that you've chopped all thin. Please salt this so it doesn't taste of nothing."

This first step is pretty self-explanatory. I sliced the white part of he leek thinly, cubed my onion, and minced my two large cloves of garlic. In the lard melted in as chunky a pot as I've got (make sure it's not non-stick!!!), I sauteed first the leek and the onion with a big pinch of salt, and once the onion was translucent, the leek soft, and they've released some liquid (around 3-5 minutes on medium-low heat), I added the garlic, and cooked it until fragrant.

"2. When it's soft and good-smelling, chuck in any flour you've got and stir the mixture so it don't burn (note for me - it's very important not to burn it, emphasize)"

"2.5. PLEASE DO NOT LET IT BURN THAT'D BE RUBBISH"

Now we make a roux by adding just enough flour to the mixture that it starts sticking together, and looks fairly dry, but no part of the flour remains powdery. (This was about 3 tbsp for me, but since this process goes quick, I did eyeball it).

It's important to keep stirring, as this can and does stick to the bottom of a pot, but it will determine the thickness of the final soup, deepen its flavor, and give it a nice, creamy consistency. I made mine fairly blonde (light tan in color, cooked just past long enough to dissipate any raw flour smell), but it can go to a fairly dark, caramel color before burning if you'd like the flavor to be a bit deeper. (This should only take a couple minutes.)

Please do be careful- it the roux burns, that flavor will be impossible to get rid of, so.... yeah, it would be rubbish.

"3. If you're fancy and have wine (or have a generously stocked temple wine cellar nearby) add a bit of it now and cook it off. When it's done, add some wedged potatoes and a lot more liquid (not wine this time or you'll have a headache in the morning)."

We now deglaze the bottom of the pot with the wine: after pouring it in, with the wooden spoon, we scrape up any stuck pieces of flour or aromatics that there might be on the bottom.

(Note: If you don't have wine, or would prefer not to use alcohol for any reason, a neat trick is to mix about 1 tbsp of white wine vinegar and 1 tsp of granulted sugar into a cup of water, and use this mixture as a substitute for 1 cup of white wine. In most recipes, the wine's main purpose is to add acidity as well as sweetness to the dish- this trick aims to replicate those qualities, and tastes very similar in the end result. I use it often in almost anything that calls for white wine if I happen to not have any at hand. But do make sure to taste beforehand, it's very easy to go too heavy on the vinegar! It should taste sour, but not so much that it's unpalatable.)

Then, I rinsed my cubed potatoes (though the text calls for wedges, those often don't cook quite evenly!) with water to get rid of the excess starch, added them to the pot, and then covered them in vegetable stock. You can use chicken- or beef stock (which would make the soup a bit richer, heavier) or water (if you want it lighter) as well- in this last case you might need to add more salt than you'd think. (Make sure to taste- it should be flavorful, but not salty! Bouillon cubes and premade stocks often have a very high salt content, so if using that, you might find you don't need to add any.)

(It sohuld look something like this.)

"4. Cook for half an hour or so til the potatoes are nice and tender, and mash some of 'em up in the liquid. If you've got any cow products - cheese, milk and the like - add them now for extra delicious results."

From when the mixture starts to boil, it should take about 25-35 minutes of simmering on low heat, covered, for the potatoes to soften- you can test doneness by sticking a fork in one of the pieces, or gently pushing one against the edge of the pot with your wooden spoon. It should give easily at light pressure with both methods.

I then put the sour cream/créme fraiche in a heat-safe container (a mug will do perfectly), and ladled a bit of the hot cooking liquid on top of it, mixing it thoroughly- both to thin it out, and bring the temperatures closer to each other, which should help avoid any curdling. Stirring constantly, I then add the cream mixture to the soup in a thin, slow stream. (Any mildly acidic, creamy dairy product should work here- though I do think yogurt might be a bit too sour, if using that I would probably omit the wine.)

Then, as everything is done cooking and the cream is distributed evenly with no curds, I turn the heat off for safety, and using a very traditional, very fantasy, not at all anachronistic immersion blender, I blitz the entire thing for roughly 30 seconds. You can of course blend it less for more chunks (or remove some cooked potato bits before blending to add them back later), or even longer for a smoother consistency, but I did like that about that much blending left only a few, small chunks of nicely cooked potato in the otherwise smooth and creamy result.

I served with shredded Port Salut cheese and croutons on top- but this is of course optional, and I think just some nice, crusty bread would also work wonderfully!

Go make yourself a video game soup!!!!!!! It's so easy and good!!!!!!!

[tnc-n3cl]

The Depths revision concept

So for quite some time I've been thinking bout making some not-so-slight changes to TotK's The Depths for my LoZ fanfic, The Realm Walker. I present to you here Phase 2 of a rough concept map of those changes. Now this is a rather large image and Tumblr's not the best place for such things, but oh well...

I will admit that I traced (multiple) screenshots of TotK's map for this. The orange lines are from the Surface Map and they're here as a guide for future thoughts, as The Depths will likely extend at least a little bit into the neighboring countries seen in my HUGE AF "Hyrule and Surrounding Lands" map. (Not necessarily the entire continent, but at least a little ways into Xilipi and Holoryna, cause Subrosia from the Oracle games is under Holoryna, which is Holodrum and Labrynna united.)

The purple and pink lines are outlines of the roads on the surface. I'll probably get rid of most of the stuff around where Castletown is on the surface. I did this cause quite frankly The Depths as seen in TotK are a little too empty for my liking and there should have been more signs of civilization down there IMO.

These may not all be roads, might through some waterways in Lanayru, maybe some mine cart tracks in Eldin... In fact, I'll probably be putting more buildings/ruins in Eldin, so there's actually (the ruins of) a city down there instead of just the Fire Temple...

Yellow dots are chasms, and yeah I left a few off of here, for reasons. Oh and you may notice a few things standing out in the Gerudo Depths, that needs to cook a little longer...

I messed up in Phase 1 by not marking down landmarks in the bottom half of the map... Given the fact that I'm marking the roads, I'll probably end up having to hunt down all the canyon mines as well (to link them to the road system). Phase 3 will be overlaying the Ancient Sheikah Shrines and Towers from BotW onto this map. Why you ask? Cause I feel like it! I'll be shuffling the Lightroots around to match with the BotW shrines, the Ancient Sheikah built their shrines on top of/around the Zonai shrines, powering them with the Lightroots.

Also I'm chopping the Depths into regions and I thought it would be fun if the names were the reverse of the Surface regions.

[1141520851813892291920]

ENT0008

Eugh. I just woke up. It's...more than half past three in the afternoon already.

I don't remember when I got home. Sometime early, really early, I think. I had gone to see the House again, I think...

It's hard to remember. My head is killing me right now. I was soaked through after being out in the rain for so long, maybe I gave myself a cold. Not that a migraine would be unusual, I am prone to them.

Jon was too, it seems, as I found a bottle of prescription medication in the medicine cabinet just now when I went scavenging. He has a lot of interesting medications, actually, it appears Jon had a weak constitution and based on the amount and regularity of his dosing, likely several chronic conditions as well.

I suppose I could remember what they are, if I had the mind to. Jon's memories are still there, I still have access to them. It's how I remembered all his passwords and how to drive on the right side of the road without panicking. I don't like doing it though, when it isn't necessary. When I accept one of his memories it...makes my real memories weaker. Makes them fade more, become more dreamlike. More like they're from Someone Else.

I don't want that. I can't lose who I am. I refuse to. I won't lose to. Lose to. Lose to whatever it is that does not want me to win. I don't know what shape that ill will takes, yet.

But I'm starting to think it might come from behind a door.

The twisting deceit always does make your brain hurt when you try to think in straight lines. I Looked right at it. No wonder I feel...off.

Did it find me? Did I find it? Is it meant to be there or was it...something else. Fractals within fractals. The stomach digesting the Hand.

I tried posting the pictures I took but they won't upload for whatever reason. Edit: Screenshots seem to work. I don't know how to get rid of the notifications, sorry, just ignore them (like I always do). The pictures of the House proper are entirely corrupted. Hardly a surprise but definitely another headache. Perhaps if I obtained a film camera that would work better than digital...

[jennilah]

so pins are the new about-me pages I guess

let's make one, shall we?

⬇ Click through to learn more about me than you want to! ⬇

Hi! My name is Jenna :)

For the most part I just like to talk about stuff that makes me happy. My favorite movies, shows, games. Some places I go and stuff I do. The usual personal blog stuff.

I am a 3D animator for film and tv. I genuinely adore my job and think I get to work on some pretty rad stuff! Once in a while you’ll see me sharing trailers and reels, or just talking about it in general.  You can check out my vfx work in my tag, or on my website.

I’ve been using tumblr since 2011, you are simply not getting rid of me that easily.

Fandoms

In that time, I have gone through several fandoms and have made so many memories in each one. People may remember when I was big into Supernatural, record-holder as my longest-lasting fandom, as many of us were. I may have since put that part of me in a nice little box with a nice little bow labeled “happy memories,” but I am still thankful to those who have stayed with me ever since. 

I typically get extremely deep into a new fandom every few years. I apologize to people who don’t care to see it, I try to tag it all for your blocking needs! You can see my up-to-date current obsessions labeled in my blog bio! ☝

I am also a shameless, unrelenting shipper so block any of those tags that might bother you too. (I love imagining characters in love, what can I say)

Art Stuff

My drawings tag (all polished art, original and fanart mashed together.)

My doodles tag (non polished sketches, junk drawer of doodles. Things I deem unworthy of my drawing tag.)

Redbubble

Other social media links

Big ole list of other tags to be found here

In addition to my current main fandom, I also have several other interests that I talk about less often but do still come up occasionally. For your reference, intrigue, or blocking needs, here are some of those things:

-Slashers -Godzilla -Undertale / Deltarune -Marvel -Half Life / Portal -Deux Ex -Action and Animated movies in general  -Pokemon -Zelda: Breath of the Wild -Splatoon -My twitch streamers like Jerma, Kitboga, Criken, Charborg, & Wayneradiotv 

Stuff I do

I also love playing games and going to the movies. And I also love convention-going and costume-making! I am not a serious cosplayer by any means, but I do enjoy trying to whip something up based on my current favorite characters.

I also have a passion for VR! I think it is an incredibly immersive and fun gaming & long-distance social experience. Sometimes I’ll post screenshots from my VRChat adventures

I also love birds. They’re so cute and I love trying to identify them. I like the idea of birdwatching but I am too casual to get up early and go to parks. I am an amateur birder if anything!

And I also love tattoos and dinosaurs and space idk.

I think thats it.

[lover-of-mine]

Okay I've gotten, like, 5 asks about my theories on how I think Buck and T will break up in the past few hours and I don't want to screenshot them all and put them in one and also because yall can get real intense and while I do support you, I need to pick my battles lol, so have this post instead. First of all, I think everyone needs to let go of the idea that it will be perfect and calm and just fizzle out just because it is Buck's first queer relationship. Queer people are allowed to be messy, like, come on guys. And this show likes to keep their queer people messy. The first scene with Michael has May and Athena snapping at him, then we find out he's been cheating on Athena. We meet Eva before we meet Karen, so we meet Hen messy as fuck love before we meet her wife. Josh can't catch a single break. The idea that there will be nothing wrong with the relationship just because it's queer is just not it because if there were nothing wrong with the relationship the relationship wouldn't end. I think everyone is taking Tim and the "Buck is in a romcom" too seriously, there are ways to be messy without being traumatic and I want some drama because if nothing happens it will be BORING. I am begging for some spice between those two. Second, I have about 100 theories of how it could go, we just don't have enough information on s8 for me to say anything. Yes, T parallels Ali, but he also parallels Taylor, and Abby, he is all of Buck's love interest smashed into one, so he can go anywhere at this point. He could get the Ali treatment and get broken up with off-screen because the relationship isn't serious enough and they didn't make a point of establishing his connection with anyone else in 7b so they could just get rid of him if they chose to, just say he moved or whatever. He could get the Ana treatment where during the opening event they throw doubt into the relationship until it cracks. But he could very much also get the Taylor treatment and stick around who knows how long even though he's not being written as endgame. We don't really know where they are taking the story yet. Do I think Eddie is gonna play a part? Not really, not fully. But it will depend on the time jump for the season, if there's a four-month time jump, they will have been together for what? Six months? At that point to make T insecure about Eddie all of a sudden wouldn't be that easy. Unless they lean into the emotional infidelity angle, but that would pull the trigger on buddie, because you can't have T call Buck out on this without forcing Buck to think about it and realize he's right and I am actually hoping Buck has a cool-off period before jumping into buddie because Mr moving in without noticing, Mr I got an apartment because my gf needs a better place to sleep, Mr wanna help me pick a couch even tho we only had 3 dates and you actually stormed out of one, Mr wanna go with me to my sister's wedding even tho we only had half a date because you ran away needs to learn how to take a breath and not jump into the deep end and hope he won't drown. So I hope Eddie isn't a deciding factor tbh. Gerrard could create problems tho. The jealousy line of thought, well, T says he's jealous of Buck's found family with the 118 on two different occasions, a situation where T is witnessing that firsthand could create tension if they want. You could even have that focus being on how well Buck and Eddie work together without framing the whole thing to be about Eddie. Especially if Buck somehow manages to get Gerrard's respect or Buck interferes when someone is getting the Gerrard treatment, and he suggests Buck's life could be easier if kept his head low. Do I think age will be a factor? It could be? But it would depend on the circumstances, T is supposed to be in his mid-40s, Buck's 32/3, there is tension to be put there. The idea of kids keeps coming to mind with Chris being a wildcard for the season, but again, it would depend on how serious they are during s8 and how long they plan on keeping T around. And if the show will decide to make them want different things.

Personally, I think the relationship wouldn't last a lot beyond Buck's helpless crush phase, but that's a me thing, there are ways to make it plausible for the relationship to last more than the infatuation stage. And I don't see him being that long-term because of the very deliberate choice of having the camera pan to Eddie during the ceremony and the way T wasn't at the hospital. Even more, considering the way they filmed a bt scene at the hospital they didn't use. The show has a very specific way of writing endgame relationships and none of those are being used. But at this point in time, we don't know anything about season 8, so it's hard to say anything clearly because T is in a very ambiguous position. They had a conversation about taking things slow and we were shown that they are, that could be turned around in s8 where they are fully committed or it could just spiral more and more into the idea it has no depth. Or he could fully just not come back. It could go anywhere and until we find out more about the season, it all feels like fanfic planning, it's speculation and wishful thinking.

[visionthefox]

Need to rant a bit more..

So.. Moon will "die", lost his memories, what ever.. Erm who gonna tell him? Lunar is the closer thing to a backup of all his past memories, since the idiot never did one

(I can't get screenshots now, I'm on my phone, but just see some early eps with Lunar, and the fight Lunar had with Sun, he said "I was in his head, I know he feels bad" or something, saying that he nor only know what's on Moon mind, but! but he did say "I have your memories" to Moon too)

I see most ppl feeling sad, but I'm here thinking ".. Motherffffff gets to run away!! He rather reboot his ass than admit he did wrong, stop the pity party, and actually do better!"

Cuz no, his half bake sorry doesn't take away the fact he avoided Sun for many hours, always sush him when Sun wants to talk, that God DAMN "You don't have a Kill Code in you! I have it worse!" comment!!

Also... Why is he letting the kill code the code he wanted to get rid off, the code that caused him trouble FOR YEARS , the code he fighter for all his life.. THE LINE OF Code he really hated.. To live???

Like... Why??? Again, KC only good thing was... Going shopping with Freddy and control himself.. That's it

He killed many ppl, planned to kill Lunar and Sun! Planned to drive Moon insane, break him! And trapped him!

He allowed the twins to murder, when they died he didn't care and use this to make Moon distrust Sun... And.. He gets to stay??

Sorry, did I miss something??

Also.. Why do I feel this is just Moon gets a "free of trouble", so he can have a reboot, or a cheap emotional damage moment, then bring him back..

Sorry if I sound rude, but for me Moon never really learned his lessons, ir else he would have tried harder, I get he's supposed to be "depresso" due to his life going bad to worse but.. He was never alone, ever, he always had support, I know sadness can make it hard to see, but this the dude that one day feels down, and the next bully Sun.. some of his behavior in this year was pretty toxic, but he clearly didn't mean to! He indeed change to be honest, calmer, nicer even! But still a biiit toxic

But again.. Why make him run away and not work on himself?? Why make him forget everything rather than, since he was in his mind, see his whole past, come to terms, he did wrong see why it's wrong, accept it, and then! He gets to change!!

He always tried to run away from his past, rather than accept it, and work with the past knowledge to be his best version!

Look, if the VA actually did this to leave, I don't blame him, bet the stress got to him, and some fans can be really really annoying..

But for the story.. It makes no sense to me, and doesn't look right.. People can be toxic without realizing it, ppl can change it given the chance.... moon had a great chance to be better, kill KC, who cleans to want to do good now, kill it, and come back as someone ready to heal..

[crunchchute]

HELP WANTED 2 SPOILERS

thinking about how small his hands are in these parts (sc from dawkos vid) its kinda. you know. being normal

also when his hand reached from the charging pod i first thought its just a human hand fhfhgh the lighting and everything made the stitching invisible and previously i just thought of him as huge with the biggest hands ever but seeing those dainty ones im like huhhhh no way thats him

shitty screenshot for comparison (too lazy to take more this one is old) you cant see much but if you know what blob youre looking at, your VR hands are like half the size of his

man and i still dont know how i feel about this. i wanted to see glitch again, but i was completely fine with not seeing him. like i fully believed that he Wont be in HW2, i even tweeted that before the game dropped. and IF he was to show up, then i expected a completely different form or just tiny hints (like the locked files for example, i liked that), but with what we got im just confused!! what is this lore here!! why is he back like this! what!! whos driving the plane!!

and people are already making more guesses about whos the player, cassie would mean this is post ruin and idk if that makes sense (was there ruined chica? i havent played thru everything yet and only know of SB chica) i dont know. thats a mystery. i also think its not quite it because of the ending and how we didnt see the pizzasim like this in ruin, did we? i gen dont remember and i watched ruin gameplays like 83 times atp

some saying its gregory, i dont think so. why wouldnt roxy remember him and such... at least its not just gregory

vanessa again? i dont know, that was my guess but honestly have no idea. perhaps its set during pre ruin and while she and gregory were setting up the mxes system? like that is my guess here, nothing else makes sense to me

cassies dad. i dont know. not enough proof for me? but the more i think about it the less im against it (with her speaking about him in past tense, if this was his demise, that would sort of make sense if he was the one giving the mask for her, but again need more proof. theres apparently some unused lines that could hint at it but i havent gone through unused stuff yet. i would still consider it as i did with ruinborn afton, if not for that creature i wouldnt even think of the entity being william but would have just stayed with the shadow bonnie theory pff) theres that one bonnie mask in PQ and perhaps the whole bonnie kid = cassies dad = hw2 player theory isnt all that bad

but i thought it might be vanessa and gregory? im thinking of PQ and getting rid of glitch and this 4th PQ is cool but confusing as hell but the thing candy cadet was saying about coming back and stuff idk its all a mess for me rn but yeah perhaps its not that deep and glitch is just that hard to kill off. he always comes back i mean uhh

OR wait wait. how i said mimic shed aftons remains and burntrap split back to glitchtrap and the mimic post SB? that makes sense no? instead of going buntrap -> mimic + entity, its mimic + glitchtrap Again and then vanessa wiped him for good and with gregorys help also locked up the mimic. thats it thats gotta be it right? shrimple as that

and vanessa and ggy while making the security nodes (im not 100% in it but im leaning towards it) something got in (the entity), because you cannot wipe him out, hes forever haunting this place. thats what you get for building this huge plex on top of his gotdamn house and farm and whatever. mansion. whatever he is in there. dear mr. fazbear entertainment, william afton is in your walls

anyway so that would beeee SB, PQ ending, they come back, get rid of any leftover traces of glitch and lock up the mimic, then cassie gets in in ruin. and hw2 would then take place sometime pre-ruin, we dont know how long it is so i would even say hw2 happened post-SB until ruin or it overlaps ruin (because were shown the ending scene with cassie but honestly i would rather see it happen pre-ruin and that just being a hint but i have no ideaaa)

people were also saying that cassies dad made the mxes system or vanessa but i think the system was like there originally for years if not thru the entirety of the pizzaplex' existence and vanessa and gregory only made the nodes to keep mimic inside and cassies dad was just a technician that has used the mask and stuff, i just dont know how it works with the og vanny mask which didnt yet have all the tech inside but perhaps that was just like an in-VR version of it in the first hw. man i dont know.

then theres the mxes entity player theory which is... eh, how would they function in reality? and why would they give cassie the mask if were hinting at some possession of mapbot? i dont like that idea past the entity being you know who and also getting rid of a past version of himself (glitch) man i need like a discussion circle

ooftroop and friends please make another video about this please (please)

one last thought, glitchs color seems to be magenta (or purple if you wanna say that) and the mxes system is that color, but the entity is more blue and idk what to do with that information. mr entity why arent you purple WHY ARE YOU BLUE literally my only missing puzzle piece if that mf was purple i would be 100% confident thats him (but im only 99% because he is more bluish but he is the same color as ruinborn who is afton to me and people saying its not, i dont understand you. what do you mean. what do you mean thats not frights corpse afton with his messed up face and bunny ears springing up out of nowhere. he is literally him)

when ppl say that the only people that disagree with everything being just the mimic and that dont get the current lore are just gacha kids, i WISH i was just a gacha kid making up random stories because this is HELL

also that hand puppet glitch is uglyyyy i want 10 (to put in a blender)

[leafsbabe]

the lake - Brock Boeser x fem!reader insta AU

nucksgossip

Liked by vancitybabes, h0e_for_hockey and 109 others

nucksgossip Brock spend the day partying at the lake with a group of people including several girls, went through the stories of people that were tagged to see if anybody posted something interesting but nothing so far

ALL SCREENSHOTS ARE FROM PUBLIC PROFILES !!!

view all 12 comments

h0ckeyh0ckeyh0ckey this just seems like a normal party i don’t think a bunch of normal people deserve to have their privacy invaded just because they’re at the same place as a player

nucksgossip i only post pics from public profiles!

bunnibabi do you have any gossip on petey???

yourusername

Liked by bboeser, yourbestfriend and 126 others

yourusername 🔥

view all 7 comments

yourbestfriend i told you the beach party was going to be awesome

yourusername thank you for forcing me to go 

yourusername

Liked by bboeser, _eliaspettersson and 237 others

yourusername happy anniversary bby 

we each planned half a date, guess who planned what

view all 26 comments

bboeser where everything started

_quinnhughes Brock planned the picnic

_eliaspettersson we went pillow shopping with him

bboeser

Liked by yourusername, _eliaspettersson and 27.946 others

bboeser my girl

view all 122 comments

_eliaspettersson happy anniversary you two

canucksswagss gotta admit I didn’t see that coming

wags_of_the_nhl how the hell did he manage to keep her a secret for a year ?!

yourusername

Liked by bboeser, _eliaspettersson and 285 others

yourusername good luck trying to get rid of me now 💍

view all 31 comments

yourbestfriend DIBS ON MAID OF HONOR

yourusername nobody I’d rather have by my side

yourbestfriend I’ll take full credit for your relationship in my speech

bboeser

Liked by yourusername, _quinnhughes and 46.219 others

bboeser 2 years down, forever left to go

view all 374 comments

vancouvercafucks wait.. FOREVER forever?

canucks Congratulations Brock !

bboeser thanks!

peteyyyyplease it’s so cute that the try to keep her out of the public, I’m a sucker for private not secret relationships

quinnyyyyplease right? I’m still hoping for some wedding pictures in the future

quinnyyyyplease apparently they met at the lake they always post at just imagine how romantic would it be if they got married there as well

peteyyyyplease omg

[digital-corruption]

Unrecognisable Part 54

A familiar, but incredibly annoying musical tone cut through the peaceful silence of my sleep. It was jarring and maddening, but it wouldn’t go away. No, it kept repeating, piercing my head like daggers to my brain. I had to get rid of it, but my entire body felt like a dead weight. I tried to move, but my body would not respond. The sound continued. It took me several moments to realise it was my ringtone. It took all of my strength to lift my hand and grab my phone. Squinting at the screen I saw Lilly’s profile picture on my lock screen and adrenaline took over. In my rush to answer the phone, I nearly dropped it to the floor, but I managed to catch it at the last second and answered the call.

“Hi Lilly,” I said rubbing my forehead. “What’s up?”

“I know you said to avoid making contact with you, but this… this is kind of an emergency. Or at least I think so, even if the others don’t necessarily agree with me,” Lilly rambled.

“Hang on, when did I ever say don’t contact us? I never said that,” I frowned. “You’re always free to contact us.”

“You said so last week? Or was it the week before?” Lilly thought out loud. “Oh I know, it was when I sent you the message about Richy’s parole approval!”

“Wait, what? I know I am still half asleep, but did you say Richy received parole?” I sat up as I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You said his parole was denied!”

“Uh, no, it was most definitely approved,” Lilly insisted. “I know we all wish it wasn’t, but no amount of denying that is going to change it.”

“No, but you sent me a message saying it was denied! I know you did!” I exclaimed.

I lowered my phone and put Lilly on speakerphone so I could go check the message history, but anything prior to my new phone was gone.

“Shit, new phone. I can’t even double check!” I rolled my eyes.

“Really? Weird, when I got a new phone my old chat history was still there,” Lilly commented. “Let me take a screenshot of my history and send it to you.”

After a minute or so of waiting, I received an image file from Lilly. I opened it and my blood ran cold.

Lilly: MC… they approved his parole! 😞

Lilly: How could they do that?

MC: What?

Lilly: I know! Dan’s here losing his mind! 😩

Lilly: Why Richy and not Hannah!?

MC: The system has failed us. The truly guilty never receive adequate punishment.

Lilly: Will you let Jake know? I don’t think I can bring myself to tell him.

MC: I will handle it.

MC: Lilly, I have to ask that you limit contact with us for a while. It is currently too dangerous.

Lilly: No contact at all?

MC: Only in case of an emergency.

Lilly: Got it 👍

Lilly: Well, give my big brother a hug for me will you? And stay safe!

MC: You too, Lilly.

“Lilly…” my voice trembled. “That wasn’t me.”

“What do you mean it wasn’t you? Oh God, was it one of your pursuers?” Lilly gasped. “Shit, I’m sorry!”

“No, Lilly, it’s worse than that,” my breathing became erratic. “That was Jake.”

“Huh? Why didn’t he tell me he was using your phone?” Lilly pondered.

“Because he wasn’t,” I bit my lip. “I had my phone the entire time. He hacked my phone to filter my messages and respond to you.”

“Why would he do that? It doesn’t make sense!” Lilly pondered.

“The bigger question is why did he impersonate you and tell me the parole was denied? Why didn’t he want me to know Richy was getting out?” I tried to search my mind for an explanation.

“Oh, um, that brings me to reason for my call,” Lilly said nervously. “The thing is, Richy got out three days ago. He chose to stay with his cousin in Colville rather than return to Duskwood. I couldn’t blame him really. Anyway, his cousin says Richy went out to buy some drinks two nights ago and he didn’t return.”

“He’s missing?” I stood up as the pieces started to come together.

“He is. Alan called me. He called everyone. He wanted to make sure we hadn’t seen or heard of him. The cops think he might have… ended things somewhere. They said he had taken the parole hearing very poorly and his cousin was meant to be watching him to make sure he didn’t do anything destructive… Oh, MC, the others don’t think he’s worth worrying about, but I don’t know. Something about it feels very wrong to me,” Lilly explained.

“Lilly,” I paused as I almost mentioned we were still in Colville. “This is worth worrying about. But I’ll need to get back to you, ok? There’s some things I need to check into.”

“You don’t think…” Lilly began.

“Let’s not jump to conclusions,” I said rather hypocritically. Jumping to conclusions was exactly what I was doing. “I’ll call you back later when I have more information.”

“Ok,” she said hesitantly. “Please stay safe, MC.”

“You too, Lilly,” I nodded, then ended the call.

I suddenly started to feel woozy so I sat back down on the couch. I know I was woken up abruptly, but I shouldn’t be feeling so lightheaded. While I waited for the feeling of vertigo to pass, I checked my other notifications on my phone. There were two emails from Dr. Cumming.

<<I am sorry to hear you are not well and couldn’t make it tonight, but please call me. I have the name and address of a clinic where you can receive treatment anonymously. It is dangerous to be on the street this time of year without proper treatment.>>

<<Even if you’re unwell, please come to tonight’s session. I will arrange for some general antibiotics that you can pick up from my office. If there is anything else I can help you with, please let me know.>>

What was the doctor talking about? We had seen him just last night! I marked the emails unread to respond to later, then went back to the home screen to swap to the browser to check the local news. That’s when I saw it…

<<Saturday>>

Saturday!? What the fuck happened to Friday!? Nausea quickly built up in my stomach and I fought the urge to hurl. Not that it mattered. There was nothing to vomit up. I hadn’t eaten in over 24 hours.

I glanced over and noticed a bottle of water sitting on the desk. I picked it up and left the office. Of course Jake wasn’t anywhere to be seen, but that didn’t even surprise me anymore. I went straight for the kitchenette downstairs and dumped the “water” into the sink. After rinsing the bottle out several times, I then refilled it with fresh, untainted water from the tap. As I started to drink it, I suddenly became aware of just how dehydrated I was and ended up gulping the entire bottle in one go. I refilled it again and drank some more. Slowly I could feel the fog in my head lifting.

I grabbed the box of muesli and ate it straight out of the box while I wracked my brain on what to do next. Some voices in my head tried to reason a plausible explanation for all of this, while others could only see one possibility. Jake enacted revenge on Richy. Killed him even. No, I was jumping to conclusions again. One wasn’t necessarily connected to the other. It could all just be a coincidence. A weird, crazy coincidence.

Fuck, who was I kidding?

There was only one way to find out for sure. Where was Jake now? I checked my phone and sure enough he hadn’t renabled the tracking on his phone. That would have been too simple, right? Let’s not forget I didn’t have access to the CCTV anymore. I literally had no idea where he was now or where he had been for these past few days. I was at a complete loss. I needed answers and I couldn’t trust anyone, not even Jake, to give me them. If only I could somehow follow Jake and see what he was up to.

I paced around the room, trying to figure out how to follow someone who not only didn’t want to be followed, but he drugged me to make sure I couldn’t get involved. Did I really sleep through an entire day? Surely the drug had its limits. It couldn’t have kept me asleep all that time. I closed my eyes and tried to recall my last memory. I remember him pouring the glass of wine and talking with him in this very room, but then everything became cloudy. Why couldn’t I remember anything after that? Suddenly, I recalled his voice speaking calmly to me.

“Did I wake you?” he said gently.

“Mmh,” I tried to open my eyes, but the light was too bright.

“Drink, angel,” he cooed. “It’s full of vitamins to keep you going.”

A warm, somewhat sweet but also bitter liquid entered my mouth. Swallowing was challenging at first, but became easier slowly. My eyelids fluttered open and saw Jake holding my head up lovingly.

“I just need a bit more time,” he assured me.

I finished the drink, but I was confused as to what was happening. “Jake, I’m still so tired.”

“I know, angel. Let the sleep take you softly again,” he leant down and kissed my lips softly. “You’re safe here.”

My skin crawled and my stomach churned again, but that memory did reveal one truth. He had returned to make sure I stayed asleep. He probably thought he knew exactly when the drug would wear out and I would wake again, but he made a miscalculation. My ringtone acted as an alarm and woke me up prematurely.

I had one of two options. Either I could pretend I was I still asleep, but then I would somehow have to feign drinking the next dose under his watchful eye. Or somehow get my hands on some sort of anti-sleep drug to counteract the one I was being given. No, that was far too risky. It was better to stick with the truth. I had woken up early. He didn’t need to know how or why. He also didn’t need to know that I was aware of what was happening. It would be easier to pretend to consume a contaminated drink and feign sleep from there. Once he was confident I was asleep, he would leave again, none the wiser. Then I could follow him and find out what he was up to. To pull it off though, I had to convince him my wake up was genuine and natural.

MC: Hey, where are you? I only just woke up and it’s already 4. 😱

Jake: Sorry, I had a few things that I needed to look after. It’s taken longer than I had expected. You were so beautifully sound asleep that I didn’t want to wake you.

MC: Thank you, I guess I needed it!

Jake: I would say you did. I hope you are feeling better.

MC: I am definitely well rested now 😊

MC: Will you be back soon or should I call Dr. Cumming to say we won’t be visiting tonight?

Jake: No, I will be back soon.

Jake: I promise, it won’t be much longer.

MC: You’re going to have to make it up to me!

Jake: Will I?

MC: Yes! 😤

Jake: And how do you propose I make it up to you?

MC: Well you could start with dinner! 😏

Jake: Got it. ;)

It was nearly dark when Jake finally returned with Chinese food and a bottle of Baijiu, Chinese liquor.

“So sorry I am late,” he gave me his best puppy-eyed expression.

“Wow, that smells delicious!” I faked my best smile.

“And I’m told this liquor goes great with it,” he beamed.

“Jake, not before the appointment,” I frowned.

“One drink won’t hurt,” he pressured.

It was apparent that he had no intention of making that session tonight. He would feed me and put me back to sleep. And who knew what happened after that.

“Ugh, you’re so bad,” I rolled my eyes. “Fine! You’ve convinced me!”

Jake smirked and placed the bottle on the table, then went over to grab glasses from the drying rack. He filled one glass with water from the tap, then returned to the table. Meanwhile after I spread the takeout containers out on the table, I went to the drying rack to grab cutlery and plates, watching Jake from the corner of my eye. He opened the bottle and poured the liquor into the second glass, but he had conveniently turned his back to me, hiding the glass from my view. There was no doubt in my mind that he laced it. Now the moment of truth was approaching, would I be able to convince him that I drank it?

Returning to the table with the clean plates and cutlery, I set the table in front of Jake then proceeded to serve out the food from the trays. Jake waited for me to finish before sitting down at the table with me.

“So, what were you doing today?” I asked as I started to pick at my dinner.

“I was meeting an old friend,” he answered vaguely.

“We could’ve gone together,” I said innocently.

“It wasn’t a social call,” he glanced up at me.

“Oh, that kind of a visit, huh? Did, uh, anyone get hurt?” I asked sincerely.

“No one that didn’t deserve it,” his face twitched ever so slightly. “How do you like it?”

“Hmm?” I looked at him confused, then he gestured to my plate of food. “Oh, it’s really good! You made an excellent choice tonight.”

Jake smiled, “I thought you would like it.”

We ate our dinners in silence, exchanging brief looks at each other. I don’t know if Jake was starting to pick up on my discomfort. The glass of liquor on the table was like an awkward elephant in the room. I was still unsure if I could successfully fool him, but time was running out. I had to at least made it look like I drank it before he got too suspicious of me. About three-quarters into the food on my plate I decided it was time if I was going to make this at least look convincing.

Putting my fork down for a second, I picked up my glass trying my best to feign interest. I gave the liquor a quick swirl and sniffed it.

“Oh, that’s strong,” I commented honestly.

Jake put down his fork and picked up his glass as well, “It had a lot of positive reviews online so I hope it is good.”

“Well, there’s only one way to find out,” I raised my glass in a small toast. Jake met mine with a small clink. “To us.”

“To us,” Jake smiled.

I lifted my glass to my lips mirroring with Jake. I could taste the liquor on my lips, but I didn’t dare let it into my mouth. Instead, I swallowed my saliva slowly in small, calculated gulps, then dramatically lowered the glass back down on the table, imitating my best whiskey face.

“Wow, that’s real good,” I laughed and returned to my dinner.

“I’m glad you like it,” Jake smirked.

“Oh, before I forget, my computer has been acting a bit weird today,” I lied.

“Weird how?” Jake narrowed his eyes, concerned.

“I don’t know. Sluggish? Glitchy? Like I swear it opened up some applications on its own,” I shrugged.

Jake paused for a moment, then his expression went sour, “You didn’t leave it running, did you?”

“Um, I might’ve?” I tilted my head innocently. “I honestly can’t remember.”

Jake abruptly got up from the table, “We should leave it disconnected from the internet for now.”

In a haste Jake left the cafeteria and went upstairs. As soon as I heard his first footstep on the stairs, I quickly got up and ran over to the sink with my glass, dumping its contents down the sink. I shifted an unwashed plate to cover the drain to hide the faint smell. Jake never washed up anyway so I didn’t need to worry about it. Then just as quickly, I ran back to the table and continued eating. My heart raced so I closed my eyes and took a couple of deep breaths until I heard the heavy footsteps of Jake descending the stairs.

“No, you had it closed, but I removed the battery just to be safe. I’ll have a look at later after the appointment,” he assured me as he sat back down at the table. “Oh, that was fast.”

“You know how it is with me and alcohol,” I joked.

“I would offer you more, but we need to leave soon,” Jake casually moved the bottle closer to his end of the table. He didn’t want me drinking too much with the sleeping drug. How considerate of him.

“Nah, I’m fine,” I yawned. “I think it’s making me a bit sleepy actually. Though I have no idea how I could possibly sleep more.”

“You shouldn’t have drunk it so fast,” Jake commented with a slight undertone. I glanced up and saw a darkness wash over him.

“Maybe I should go upstairs,” I tried my hardest to sound groggy.

“Let me help you. I don’t want you to slip on the stairs,” Jake stood up and walked around to my side of the table. Like a gentleman, he pulled back my chair and helped me to my feet.

I faked a stumble into him and giggled, “My hero! Catching me so I won’t fall!”

“Always,” he stroked my cheek gently with his fingers, then leant down and kissed my lips softly.

“Mmmh,” I broke the kiss before he would notice the lack of alcohol on my breath. “I had the strangest dream last night.”

“Did you?” he smiled.

“What was it again?” I pretended to be trying to recall a dream. “Oh yes! I was travelling through the forest trying to find you. I swear I could hear your voice, but no matter where I looked, I couldn’t find you.”

“You’re scared of losing me again?” he questioned. I nodded and leant my head against his chest. “You shouldn’t worry about that. I will always find my way back to you.”

Jake wrapped one arm around my waist, keeping me against him, while his other hand rubbed circles on my temple. I couldn’t help but inhale his scent. Normally I would find it reassuring, but there was a faint chemical smell on him, which was disconcerting.

“Let’s get you upstairs before you get too sleepy,” Jake whispered.

Jake lifted my arm and wrapped it around his shoulders so he could support my weight as he led me towards the stairs. It was as if he anticipated me to lose my balance.

“But your appointment,” I mumbled.

“You needn’t worry about that,” he insisted firmly.

I let my eyelids get heavy and lowered my head as we went up the stairs. I made sure to drag my feet lazily to try to make it look convincing. I wasn’t looking to win an Academy Award or anything, but I figured every detail counted. My toes got caught on the last step, which was actually real because I was trying so hard to fake it.

“Careful,” Jake reached out and caught me. “I don’t want you to get hurt, angel.”

“Stop calling me that, I’m no angel,” I shook my head with a chuckle.

He smiled, “It’s what you are to me. My beautiful, perfect angel from up high.”

“I don’t think angels trip on stairs,” I mused.

“Ok, my clumsy, little angel,” he laughed as he opened the door to the manager’s office. “Still every bit beautiful though.”

I blushed at Jake’s sudden behaviour while he helped me over to the couch. I nearly forgot what I was doing, but managed to fake slumping down on the couch just in time. Jake knelt down in front of me while I pretended to start nodding off. He took my hand and held my palm to his cheek. I had to resist the urge to ‘wake up’.

“Sleep well, angel. It won’t be much longer,” he spoke so quietly I barely heard him.

Jake stood up again and helped me to lie down on the couch, then took one his spare hoodies and draped it over me. Softly he kissed my forehead. Quietly I hoped he wouldn’t notice the goosebumps on my skin from the chills he gave me while he gently caressed my cheek. He was still waiting for me to fall asleep. With all of my energy, I slowed my breathing right down to a soft, gentle pace, trying my hardest not to lose my cool while I felt his eyes on me. I nearly lost it when I felt his thumb run over my lips. I started to panic internally that he might try to kiss me again. I wouldn’t be able to react or prevent him from finding out I didn’t actually drink any of the alcohol. I felt his fingers trail down my neck, over my shoulder, down my arm and then pull up the hoodie to better cover me.

Why did he still have to be so sweet on me? Why couldn’t he make it easier for me to hate him? Just what the hell were you up to, Jake? What didn’t you want me to know?

At last, the light turned off and the door quietly closed behind him. Still, I didn’t dare move and lied in wait.