#so thanks for making me emotional and helping me clean out my tear ducts

[gentlebeard]

hi babes i’m back from my little break

[startseeingstars]

Delicate Destruction - Euronymous (Lords of Chaos)

CH09 🎶 Heart-Shaped Box - Nirvana 🎶

T/W - mentions of SH, Alcohol/Drug use, mature themes

The cold air was refreshing. I was tired, but I put that down to how much I'd smoked. And the emotional toll of watching someone I care about harm themselves so brutally for entertainment.

Krista was slurring her words a little, giggling and flirting with Emil as they walked ahead. Aksel walked beside me, close, with his arm around my shoulders. I didn't mind, because truthfully, it was cold and it didn't mean anything to me. We walked into the Kebab shop.

Krista had insisted we come here for a late night feed before we went home, and with everyone having a case of the munchies, who was I to write off such a genius idea?

The lights stung my eyes for a moment as they adjusted. The air was filled with laughter and shouting, but my ears were still ringing from the gig. It was noisy, but still quieter than earlier. We went to the counter to order and I scanned the room.

Øystein. His back was to me, but I knew it was him.

Pelle. He sat in the chair to Øysteins left. His expression was troubled, and I followed his gaze to his arms, both resting on the table, the self-inflicted gashes barely being held together with silver duct tape.

I gasped, moving toward him, startling Aksel whose arm fell away from me.

"Pelle." It came out barely a whisper. I knelt beside him. He slowly glanced at me - his usually kind eyes were hollow, eyebrows furrowed. He looked like he was in shock.

I jumped back onto my feet. Urgency had taken over my thoughts and I hurried to the back of the shop, pulling the first aid kit from behind the counter. I could feel eyes on me as they processed what I was doing, but I didn't care. I had to help him.

I carefully and gently took Pelle's hand in mine, and was thankful when he stood up to follow me.

"Else, let me help." Øystein followed as I lead both of them into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I felt my demeanour harden. I didn't want to be emotional in front of them.

Luckily the bathroom was spacious and accessible, just one toilet, so no cubicles. I sat Pelle on the toilet, seat down and inhaled a deep breath before looking down to examine how bad the wounds were. Dried blood covered most of his pale skin. The tape was stuck in careless strips along the gashes. What a fucking mess.

I got to work, biting the inside of my cheek. I felt my composure slip a couple times at the sight of the gory wounds. I didn't do well with blood, but I tried to focus on cleaning him up quickly. Pelle didn't even wince when I wiped the alcohol across his arms. My hands were shaky, and I kept dropping things. The buzz was wearing off, but I was clumsy from all the booze and slow from the grass.

Øystein had begun to help. I think it was after he noticed my discomfort the first time. He had taken one of Pelle's arms, tending to it as I did, copying whatever I did with the other arm.

We sat in silence - nothing to hear but our breathing. I realised mine had been quiet but staggered as I was holding back emotion and panic.

Done. His arms were bandaged, but truthfully, the gashes were so deep that I was almost certain he would need stitches.

I sat for a moment, before reaching out my hand squeezing Pelle's. I felt Øystein's gaze, but the tears welled up in my eyes. I quickly let go and grabbed the first aid kit, binning the rubbish before making my way to the door. I heard Øystein get up to follow and as I returned the first aid kit to behind the counter, I noticed Pelle sitting back down at the table.

Krista, Emil and Aksel were still there, sitting at another table - looking at me. Krista looked concerned for Pelle, and maybe me.

I just needed to leave. Without a word to anyone, I headed for the door. It closed behind me, but opened again shortly after. I was already down the street. "Elsie." Øystein called out. His voice sounded a little hoarse. I kept walking as the tears streamed. I didn't want an audience.

I hadn't gotten all that much further on the walk home, when a car pulled up beside me. The Volvo.

The tears had stopped, and I was going numb, not just from the cold. I didn't even think, just climbed in the passenger side. Øystein sat silently for a few minutes, the stereo on low. I just stared at the road ahead. We were alone in his car and he was taking me home.

"How are you doing?" He finally broke the silence. I couldn't seem to respond.

"It's just part of his act..." He tried to sound reassuring, dismissive even. Maybe he was trying to convince himself, too.

"He needs stitches." I said quietly. I saw him nod from the corner of my eye.

"Alright."

He pulled up at the front of my house and cut the engine, turning to me slowly. I could feel him examine me. I hesitated to move for some reason. My body felt heavy, and I craved to not be awake.

"Who's the guy?" His question caught me by surprise and I glanced at him, blankly.

"Aksel?" I blinked. "I barely know him." I muttered. He didn't say anything, nor did his body language reveal anything.

"Thanks for the ride." I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, climbing out the car. Without another word, he drove off.

[cryonme]

ɪɴ ʜɪꜱ ᴀʀᴍꜱ

PART ONE. aaron hotchner x reader

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

There’s a serial killer going after women that look just like you, and when you find yourself at the Unsub’s address long before the rest of the team, you go in alone. Despite Hotch’s orders.

word count- 1.9k

tw- implied sexual assault, violent themes, guns, blood, LOTS of tears

a/n- hi babies! this is my first criminal minds imagine ahh. I've been watching the show ever since I was like 14, but I’ve been really binging it lately and I got the push to write for it! I’m really excited about this and I hope you all love it! There is going to be a part two, which is gonna focus on (Y/N)’s recovery and her getting back into the field! I always appreciate reblogs and feedback xx

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

“(Y/L/N), the Unsub is going after women that look just like you, you are not to go in there alone, do I make myself clear?”

“Hotch-”

“DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?”

You flinched and pulled your phone away from your ear, pursing your lips in annoyance.

“Crystal.” You hung up the phone and threw into the passenger seat, your body raging with annoyance for your boss. Him and the team wouldn’t be there for another 20 minutes and you were running out of time. The latest victim went missing yesterday, and according to the pattern, her body would be found in just a couple of hours, at the crack of dawn.

You cracked your fingers and your neck, growing impatient. You knew Hotch trusted you, that wasn’t the problem. The problem was the two of you had gotten involved and now he’s holding you back. You tried to tell yourself he only cared, that he was only concerned, that he loved you, and on one hand, he did have a point. This man was going after women who have the exact same build and features as you, but you had a job to do. Both of you agreed to not let your feelings get in the way, and here he was, holding you back, and potentially putting an innocent woman in danger.

You sighed and rested your head on the steering wheel, when you heard a blood curdling scream. Your head shot up and you immediately adjusted your vest and pulled out your gun and flashlight, wasting no time storming into the house.

+

“We’re down the street, are you ready?” Hotch asked, not turning his head toward Emily in the passenger seat next to him. He was rushing, he told you not to go into the house but something in his gut is telling him that you did anyway. You had separated from Derek when there were two possible leads presented at the same time, both of you agreeing it would be faster to split up. You were alone when Garcia called with an address, and a lot closer than everyone else.

“Ready.”

The team pulled up to the house and Hotch felt every muscle in his body tense when he saw your car door open. You had gone into the house.

He wasted no time, not even bothering to turn off the car or close the door.

“(Y/N)’s in there with no back up.” He said frantically.

No one said a word, just all shared worried glances and immediately made their way to the front door, Hotch taking the lead and kicking the door down.

“FBI!” He yelled out, pointing his gun and flashlight in all directions.

“Morgan, Prentiss, take the upstairs. Reid, Rossi, and I will cover downstairs.

Everyone nodded before dispersing to their assigned areas of the house.

Hotch’s mind was wandering to places it shouldn’t be. What if you were dead? He couldn’t see it. He wasn’t ready-

“FBI, put the gun down!”

Morgan.

They were upstairs.

The three men downstairs rushed to the stairs, running up with guns drawn, coming up behind their teammates. The Unsub had his gun pointed to the head of a woman who looked just like you, but you weren’t in sight. Hotch let his eyes wander around the poorly lit, dirty room, until they stopped on you, and he had to hold back a sob.

He wasn’t listening as Reid talked down the Unsub, he wasn’t listening when Emily fired off a gunshot to his shoulder, letting the woman go. He wasn’t listening when Derek yanked him off the floor in handcuffs, handing him over to Rossi so he could escort him to the police. He wasn't listening when Reid and Emily ran toward the girl checking her over for injuries and handing her into the care of the paramedics. All he could hear was the ringing in his ears, and all he could see was you.

Once the Unsub waa gone, he fell to his knees in front of you.

You were tied to a pole, duct tape over your mouth and your hands and feet restrained, there was blood trickling down your face and you were beaten badly. The Unsub must have focused all of his attention on you when you entered the house.

His hands fumbled to untie your restraints, but he was shaking too much and couldn’t do it. Spencer kneeled down next to him and got to work on your restraints, letting his hands rest on your face. His eyes raked over your body, checking for any other serious injuries, when they froze on your torso, soaked in blood.

“Wake up, baby. Please. God, please wake up!”

As soon as you were untied your limp body slumped against him and he laid you down, your head resting on his lap, his shaking hands reaching for your neck, checking for a pulse.

“She- she’s alive!” He yelled, throwing off his jacket to press against your torso, not bothering to thank Emily when she rushed over to hold it for him. He stroked your hair and your face gently, trying his best to wake you up but not startle you.

Your eyes fluttered and you groaned, turning your head to the side, closer to him.

“Hey, baby. I need you to keep your eyes open for me, okay?”

Your eyes were still fluttering, and you tried your best to keep them open for more than a second.

“M’so tired.”

“I know, sweetheart. I know but you have to stay awake just a little bit longer for me, yeah? I can’t lose you, please.”

The team watched helplessly, Emily decided you needed more encouragement, and spoke up from her position next to you, still applying pressure to your abdomen, her tears falling freely from her eyes.

“Hey, girl. You gotta hold on for us, alright? We need you.”

Reid felt a tear fall down his cheek, and he turned his face to watch the window for the ambulance, not being able to watch any longer.

Derek couldn’t contain his anger with himself, he had let you go alone. Knowing that sick bastard was going after women just like you, and he let you go alone. He turned and slammed his fists into the wall, letting out a cry. You had to be okay.

Rossi was downstairs with the police, he had helped the first girl in the ambulance, but they had only been prepared for one person. His heart was aching as he could hear the cries of his team upstairs.

“(Y/N), can I carry you downstairs to get to the ambulance faster?” Derek asked as he calmed himself down, he didn’t think Hotch’s body would make it far without collapsing in worry and sadness.

Your eyes were wide and you grabbed Hotch’s arm, “Don’t” You sucked in a breath, “Don’t leave-”

“It’s okay, I’m not leaving you, okay? Morgan’s gonna take you downstairs, I’ll be right behind you.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your head.

“I love- I love you.”

Hotch continued to sob, “I love you, but you’re gonna be okay.”

Derek gently took you from his arms, hoisting you up and hurrying you down the stairs as he could begin to hear the distant sirens. “I’m so sorry, babygirl. I’m so sorry.”

+

If you’ve ever wondered how much a psychopathic killer can do to you in 20!minutes, the answer is a lot.

It’s been one week since you went into the house alone, and you were cleared to go home today. The team came to see you every day, and Hotch never left your side. He cried when you woke up, burying his face into your neck and leaving soft kisses. You didn’t want him to stop touching you, but you felt empty, you couldn’t reciprocate, you couldn’t speak, you just laid there as the love of your life cried tears of relief over you, holding you close to him.

You didn’t speak when Derek cried and apologized for leaving you alone, you couldn’t tell him it wasn’t his fault.

You didn’t speak when Dave kissed your head and told you he was happy you were still with them.

You didn’t speak when Reid smiled and grabbed your hand, stray tears falling down his face.

You didn’t speak when Garcia rushed into the room and held your face.

You didn’t speak when JJ threw her arms around you.

You didn’t speak when Emily held you, telling you she didn’t know what she’d do if you didn’t make it.

You didn’t speak on the ride home with Hotch, despite him telling you Jack couldn’t wait to see you.

When Aaron caught on that you weren’t going to show emotion for a long time, he called Jessica to tell her it was best that Jack stayed with her for a while, he didn’t want him seeing you that way.

Once you arrived home, you let him help you out of the car and inside. He led you up the stairs into your bedroom. He decided it was best for him to stay with you at your place, not wanting you to be alone, but also wanting you to be in your own home. Once you were showered and in a clean pair of pajamas, tucked away in bed, your cat jumped up on the bed rubbing her face against yours and purring, before flopping down and falling asleep at your side.

Hotch watched as you just laid there, propped up against your pillows, staring at the wall.

“(Y/N).”

“I can still feel his hands.” You whimpered and his heart squeezed in his chest.

“Everywhere.” You finally let out the sob you had been holding in since you first woke up and saw Hotch fast asleep in the uncomfortable hospital chair next to you.

He was by your side immediately, pulling you close to him, and you wrapped your arms around him, finally receiving the comfort you’ve been desperately craving.

“I’m sorry.” You cried, choking on your own breath and sobs. “I’m so sorry. It’s n-not Derek’s fault, it’s mine. It’s my fault.”

Hotch shut his eyes in pain, this was no one’s fault but the sick man who did this to you.

“It’s not your fault either, (Y/N).”

“I didn’t listen, I should’ve listened to you.” Your muffled voice cried against his chest.

“You did what any of us would’ve done. Yes, it ended badly, and I will tell you to never do that again, but we’re here now. Don’t dwell on it, sweetheart.”

You just continued to cry and inch impossibly closer to him.

“I’m not going to lie to you and say that you’re okay. You’re not, and you probably won’t be for a long time. But you’re safe, and I am here for you every step of the way. There won’t be one second that you’re alone. You’re gonna get through this baby, I promise.”

You continued to cry and hold onto him as you fell asleep, your breaths starting to even out until your body relaxed against his. He situated the both of you so you both were more comfortable, but still in each other’s embrace. Your cat purred and resituated herself in between your legs. The road to recovery was going to be long, but all he could think about right now was how relieved he was to have you home, in his arms.

[ceo-of-daichi]

Request ~ ‘Lydz! I need a Daichi fluff so bad. SO BAD. Could I request a long distance relationship with Daichi, and one day after s/o cries over the phone saying that she misses him, he decides to fly to her as a a surprise!! 😭💖 it can be a hc or drabble one-shot, whatever you’re comfortable with! Thank you bb ily ❤️’ ~ @mrs-kuroojinguji

Characters ~ Sawamura Daichi x Fem!Reader

Genre ~ Fluff

Warnings ~ Kinda a rollercoaster of emotions... a bit of the reader crying

Word Count ~ 1.8k+

A/N ~ Haven’t written a long fic in a while so i hope you guys enjoy this!!!💛 Thank you to @scorpiosanssexy for beta reading this☺️ Also i’m so sorry this took so long for me to write Ana😫

‘I love you baby…’ You hear as you hang up your phone, tossing it to the side. Another night where you slept in an empty bed. You had lost track of how many it's been without him by your side physically. A year? Maybe closer to two? The hope that one day soon you would wake up to his warm arms around you, his breath fanning on the back of your neck. Comfort, something he automatically provided. It was in his aura, whenever he was close and sadly you hadn’t felt it in a while.

As much as you loved the UK it was far away from home, not only your family but your friends and from Daichi. The one you wished you could spend every waking moment with, someone who you could see yourself with for the rest of your life. You felt so far away from him, 5,732 miles to be exact, a number you had spent so many sleepless nights thinking about. As your head hit the pillow you figured tonight was going to be another one of those nights. 

Your day seemed to drag as all you could think about was Daichi’s words to you last night. ‘I can’t come see you yet, I'm so sorry, work is piling up and with my family wanting me home I just can’t spare the time to fly over… I’m so sorry, I'm going to have to fly over in summer.�� Was what he had said, he was meant to come see you after Christmas, but as it was early into January now you had lost hope for seeing him. 

It wasn’t long before both of your universities started up again for the new term, you would have to pray he would be able to come visit in summer or you could get the funds to see him. It was getting hard to be away from him, everyday the ache seemed to worsen in your chest.

Even when you both first got together, he knew that all you needed to feel better was a hug or his arm comfortingly on your back. To be pulled onto his lap so he could hold you impossibly close, you were always someone who has loved his touch. You were addicted to it. Both of you knew that it would be harder long distance yet you couldn’t bear to break up. But it was starting to prove to be harder than you anticipated.

‘You know you don’t have to continuously stir the pasta right?’ Your roommate Beth said, you wondered how long she had been watching you. Glancing at the clock you realised you must have been there for at least 40 minutes. 

‘Hm? Yeah of course I know, I just like to make sure it's done… which it is.’ You replied, as you looked down at the pasta that was now basically mush in the pan. Letting out a deep sigh you drained it and put it in a bowl.

‘You’re seriously going to eat that? Oh god no [y/n]...’ She said as she took the bowl straight from your hands throwing the whole thing in the bin.

‘Hey! I like that bowl?!’ You protested as she led you to the couch.

‘Lets order takeout, I can tell you have been thinking about him again… Still no chance he can come?’ Beth asked as she scrolled through her phone for both your favourite takeout. You didn’t reply as you got lost in your thoughts once again. You didn’t realise how obvious it was that you weren’t doing well and even though Beth knows you better than anyone, she wouldn’t mention anything unless she thought it was serious. 

‘He just said he couldn’t come… It's been almost 2 years since I have seen him physically, not on the other side of a screen. I miss him so much and it's starting to get harder to talk to him over the phone because everything hurts Beth… I love him so much.’ You practically word vomit as your eyes start to prick with tears.

The hurt evident as she pulled you in for a hug, letting your tears free as if they had been trapped in your ducts for years. Quickly dampening her shirt as she tried to do as much as she could to calm you down, it was no use though. ‘Do you think he just doesn’t want to see me? Maybe he’s found someone else?’ You questioned out loud as loud sobs continued to wrack your body.

‘Hey… Hey! I don’t know much about this guy, but from what you have told me he seems like a really respectable guy who loves you. Plus he’s your boyfriend so he has to be amazing! Have you thought about telling him how you feel?’ Beth asked getting up quickly to grab you some tissue. 

‘No, I haven’t! I don’t want him to think I don’t trust him, because it's not that at all…’ Before you could finish sniffling out everything you had to say your phone lit up. A bright picture of Daichi from the last time you saw him covering the screen, arm around your waist and a goofy smile adorning his face. Daichi who you loved so much, who it hurt so bad to think about for no reason other than he wasn’t here. He wasn’t by your side, he was 5,732 miles away.

As you got up to go answer the phone in your room, Beth gave you a sympathetic smile and a quick mouthing of ‘tell him’. A deep sigh passed your lips as you closed the door separating you from the kitchen, you knew she was right but something was holding you back. 

Cleaning yourself up slightly you finally answered the facetime call. ‘Hey baby…’ You said greeting him with a small smile. You knew he could tell you had been crying the minute he answered when his face dropped. ‘Hey baby-girl, you okay?’ He asked and that was all it took. You couldn’t keep it from him anymore, tears spilled once again from your eyes as you told him everything. 

Daichi’s heart broke as he watched you cry on the other side of the screen, he wanted to gather you in his arms and tell you it was going to be okay. That you would both get through this together, however he was lost for words. He couldn’t hold you, he couldn’t even get you your favourite food to cheer you up. He wasn’t there. As you both talked it out, he couldn’t stop apologising, every ‘i’m sorry’ that fell from his lips felt so natural yet should it be? 

Once you had calmed down and the facetime ended, Daichi couldn’t get the image of you crying out of his head. How had he not seen the person he loved and cherished so much in almost 2 years? 

The night was long and tiring for both of you, neither could sleep, plagued by thoughts of what’s next? What can either of you do to better the situation? You couldn’t dream of leaving him but what if you had no choice. It was 3:27am and you decided it was probably better to try and take your mind off the situation, falling asleep in front of the TV was better than not falling asleep at all. 

A couple days passed, although you couldn't stop thinking about Daichi you had gone back to normal with him. You thought it was strange but since that night Daichi seemed a lot more upbeat, wanted to call you more and was texting you constantly. You weren’t complaining though, you loved how he seemed to be making more of an effort since you had confessed to him. 

‘Wow you actually managed to cook the pasta properly this time?!’ Beth said, an amused expression on her face as she sat at the table across from you. This caused a laugh to erupt from you, she was right once again. ‘Yeah I guess things are improving huh?’ You replied as she laughed along. You had made pasta properly, not as if it was anything special but it tasted good you thought. 

As you both chatted and giggled away you were interrupted by a knock at the door. ‘Did you order food?’ You question as you got up to answer, wondering who it could be at such a weird time as your eyes scanned the clock, 10:36pm. Swinging open the door your whole body froze. 

His brown hair was tousled and out of place, his grey sweatpants hanging off him perfectly and although he looked tired and rushed to anyone else. You had never seen someone so handsome before, not being able to stop yourself jumping on him. Despite being exhausted, Daichi still managed to catch you in his arms. ‘You came…’ You whispered into his shoulder, taking in his scent. How you had missed his slightly woody smell, it smelt like home.

‘I couldn’t not come… It broke my heart to see you cry because of me, I dropped everything to come’ He smiled, as he rubbed your back comfortingly placing a kiss to the side of your head. Suddenly 5,732 miles didn’t feel long at all when you were in his arms, realising the exact reason you didn’t break it off with him originally, he was worth the ups and downs. Worth the long nights of falling asleep on facetime because of the time difference, worth every ‘i love you’ text and every ‘i miss you’ whispered over the phone.

As he let you down and grabbed his stuff to bring in you couldn’t help but admire him. Has he got bigger? His arms looked so much more refined and muscular, the 2 years training to be in the emergency services sector clearly having an effect on his body. Before you knew what you were doing you gripped his bicep softly, he really was stronger than before you thought. 

‘You okay there baby? Something interesting?’ He chuckled as he watched your face heat up, scooping you into his arms again. Not wanting to admit you really liked the change in his body you buried your face into his neck. ‘I just missed you a lot…’ You confessed, not like you hadn’t told him this before but being held in his arms made it so much more real. ‘I missed you too princess…’ He whispered, lifting your chin to look at him before pressing his lips to yours.

It felt like a lifetime had passed since the last time your lips had met, but it was just as amazing as the first time. All fears and worries suddenly dissipated, the only thing that mattered right now was him and how much time you had to make up for. 

Gen Taglist ~ @honey-makki @novvabeam @scorpiosanssexy @sugawara-sweetheart @watermelonsugawara @taeya-san @mrs-kuroojinguji @arixtsukki @whootwhoot @cadenceh2o @minibobabottle @gemini-writes @lxvelylevi @kisskissfailmylife

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[aesthyuckic]

AVENOIR | l.dh - VIGINTI QUINQUE (FINALE)

(gif not mine - credit to rightful owner)

Genre: High School AU (at beginning) ; Tarot Reader!Witch!Hyuck

Word Count: 2.7K

Warnings: (bold if in use) slow but with a purpose, belief contradictions, mentions of r*pe, blood, swearing, violence, mentions of abuse

Pairings: Lee Donghyuck (Haechan) x Reader (F)

V OF PENTACLES IN REVERSE: recovery, isolation

It was late at night when Johnny had heard a pounding on his door that had woken him up. Rather pissed off, he got up to go answer it, ready to yell at whoever until he saw them. Cosimia and Donghyuck standing there, both of them covered in blood with looks on their faces like lost children that had done something wrong.

“What did you do?” The oldest asked the both of them with widen eyes

In a rush, they had brought him to their trailer where a dead body in a pool of blood still lied on their floor. Random spots of red stained their carpet as well. The man had stood in utter disbelief at the sight in front of him especially with the two kids who had been involved.

“How could you kill someone?” Johnny asked, annoyed rather than concerned.

“It was self dense…” The girl replied. “He literally tried to kill Haechan and kidnap me.”

“It’s her father,” The boy added in a rather hushed tone as he stared blankly elsewhere. “Was her father now I guess…”

“Your father? How did he find you two? I thought you faked your deaths.”

“We did. I guess I was dumb enough to think he’d believe it. You’re surprisingly calm about us having a dead man on our floor.”

“There’s no point in freaking out when it gets us no where.”

There was a pause for silence as they looked at the literally crime scene in front of them. Though, Donghyuck was somewhere else still processing and thinking about what had happened.

“What do we do, Johnny?” The young boy asked, finally looking away from where he was staring just to turn his attention to the other with a scared look of hopelessness. “Do we call the police?”

“No,” He said. “That’d be too much time on our hands and too much money I don’t want to spend on fixing it.”

“But…” The boy started. “Why can’t we?”

“Really, Haechan? Why can’t we? Would you like to go to jail? Because I don’t know what happened exactly if this doesn’t exactly look very good when it comes to a self dense claim. Oh, and especially since it’s obviously you bashed his head in multiple times and he’s been lying here for awhile since he’s cold!”

“Johnny!” Cosimia yelled.

It had become quiet enough that they could hear little sniffs and cries. The eldest looked over to where Donghyuck leaned against the chair to see the boy had tears coming down his cheeks as he bit his lip trying to hold back any noise.

“God, look at what you did.” The girl huffed. “Outside, now!”

The man seemed taken back by her words and tone, “Excuse me, I’m your boss and I’m seven years older than you.”

“I said outside now!” She repeated herself, just much louder this time as well as angry.

The room had gotten quiet once again as he rolled his eyes and just did what the girl said by going outside. She went over to her boyfriend just to whisper a few sweet things to calm him down before kissing his forehead, gently. She then followed behind the eldest shortly, leaving him inside. The screen slammed behind her, making the anger apparent at the other.

“If you’re not going to help us, you can leave. I’ll figure it out on my own.” She sighed. “I don’t get why you had to do that to him…”

“Do what?” He pondered. “I answered his question.”

“Yeah, in a mean and unnecessary way when he’s not in a good state of mind!” She retorted. “You really don’t know what he’s been going through in the last hour… and Hyuck wouldn’t kill anyone, he didn’t kill anyone.”

“So what? Your dad just slipped and hit his head on your counter multiple times?”

“You know how he’s been seeing ghosts since he woke up from his coma? The first one he saw was my mom. You want to know who killed my father? It was her, she just used Hyuck as a way to do it. That’s why he has no scratches or anything even though he got stabbed by him! He feels bad enough as is, it’s not his fault and it’s not mine either. So help us or leave so I can figure it out and take care of Hyuck properly. The reason we even went to you is because we thought you’d be helpful and not do something like this…”

“That wouldn’t sound very good either in the eyes of a court.”

“No shit.”

It got rather cold that evening, everything about the atmosphere was heavy and gloom. The tall man stared at the teenager in front of him. Clothes still covered in blood, with her arms crossed as she seemed to think about the situation. Johnny sighed as he’d just seen a kid taking on more than she should at her age at the attempt of keeping her and her boyfriend together.

“Come on.” He said before going back inside. “I’ll help you guys.”

“You will?” Donghyuck heard as he came in.

“Yes…” He nodded. “I’ll take care of the body. Just clean the floors and take a shower after. We’ll figure things out from there I guess.”

Johnny wrapped a plastic bag around the body’s head, duct taping it shut so the blood pooled into the bag rather on the floor anymore. He had Cosimia help him drag the body right outside the trailer before he took over and told her to go help Haechan clean the floors. She seemed oddly desensitized to it, though the man understood why she would after learning about the past she shared with the person that was now just a body. The boy was inside putting blood soaked sponges and white towels turned red into a bucket.

At first, he was cleaning up without a thought as it was just automatic but the more he stared at the blood the more he thought about. He still blamed himself for the predicament they were in, even if he hadn’t had control of his body he was the one that killed him. Seeing it again just made him feel utterly guilty. It haunted his mind as he now just sat on the floor, staring at the yellow gloves that were messy and stained red.

Cosimia walked in to see him in a trance. She sighed out of worry. She bent down, quietly next to him. She made eye contact with him before she took the gloves off his hands. To the boy, it was almost terrifying to see how emotionless she seemed about it all, not even phased by the blood even if the sight of it made her pale.

“Go shower.” She mumbled. “But your clothes in a bag though.”

“I should help you...” He said.

“I can do it on my own, Hyuck.” She assured him. “You need it so, go.”

The boy nodded and did as he was told, all in silence. She hurried to finish cleaning up the puddles left on the floor before she scrubbed the kitchen floor spotless to get the tint out of it. It sparkled and the yellow shade on the other side was suspicious in all honesty. She moved on to the carpet after that, her boyfriend still in the shower. She scrubbed deep into the carpet as much as hard as she could. Again, the color difference made things feel off.

She sighed, sweating from how much ‘elbow grease’ she had to put into both floors all on her own. She was already just mentally done with the night. Donghyuck had come from the bedroom, freshly showered and with new, clean clothes on. A wrinkled plastic bag all tied up in his hand with his previous outfit in it. He saw the girl bent over the floor just breathing heavy with her eyes closed.

“Uhh…” He hesitated. “I’m done…”

She looked up at him at the sound of his voice. “Okay, just put the bag outside.”

“It looks good…” He said, awkwardly as he walked through the kitchen, noticing she had finished already.

“Thank you.”

“Cosi, I don’t mean to sound rude or anything, but you missed a spot…”

“What?”

She walked over to see what spot he was talking about. She apparently had forgotten about the ledge of the counter. The metal strip was a golden color, now mixed with a wine color. The boy was taken back at the sight, his breath hitched in his throat as he remembered his vague vision from the night of summer solstice that all made sense to him now. He caught himself in a trance again.

“Are you okay?” The girl asked him.

“As good as I can be right now.” He shrugged before he went outside.

It felt cold, she knew he was still process and everything but he was being avoidant especially with her which hurt almost even if she got it. It was an awkward situation, how exactly are you suppose to act with someone after that? She didn’t blame him. She held back her own tears and emotions as she she dropped to the floor to scrub one more thing.

It seemed never ending, like it went on forever. Guilt was so overwhelming… If she hadn’t asked him to run away he wouldn’t have gotten hurt whatsoever or be here in this mess. She wanted to sob so badly, it was painful to hold back as she cleaned. She felt like he hated her even if that was far from the truth. And even though her father was the scum of the earth in her eyes, he was unfortunately still a human being, that happened to be related to her, who died in front of her. She wanted him dead for so long she didn’t know how to feel exactly. Maybe it was bad that she felt relief over it or that she didn’t really care about the fact he was dead and ‘murdered’ by what others would say. She felt as if he had it coming, that he deserved it after all he had put her through, put her boyfriend through. It would’ve been her’s and Donghyuck’s blood anyway if not his so was it that bad?

As much as she wanted to be about love and felt best when she was, it was hard to be when others filled you with so much rage and pain… She always had to be strong and especially so right now. She finished up the corner before she put the bucket outside and went back in to clean herself up. She wrapped her old clothes in a plastic bag, just like Donghyuck before she got into the shower. Her hair dripped with every step she took once she had gotten out.

Johnny had found them and told them to follow him with everything from the crime scene. The kids look at each other in confusion but did as they were told anyway. The place he had lead them to was far away from everyone and everything else. There, a bonfire resided that touch the dark night sky. Wood burned as they stopped in their tracks.

“Just throw it all in…” Their boss said as he stared at the fire that burned bright.

It was a sense of relief when they saw everything set ablaze and watched it turn into ash.

“Is that it?” Donghyuck asked.

“For you guys.” The other male shrugged. “I’m going to be out here for awhile. Go get some sleep and this night never happened.”

They nodded, both understanding and left with a small ‘thank you’ into the darkness. Nothing felt real at that point. It was eerie, even when they stepped back in the trailer they called home for the many months. It left a dreadful feeling, knowing and seeing what happen all over again. It’s like… a ghost of what happened lingered among them just to haunt them. It was just spooky in a way it never was.

To think the evening has started out so lovely… Who knew it could go to shit so fast and stay that way…

It was clear both of the teenagers were exhausted, though they couldn’t sleep no matter how much they tried.

“She’s gone, isn’t she?” The girl questioned.

“Huh?” He mumbled. “Who?”

“My mom.” She responded. “She’s gone, right?”

“Yeah… She thanked me before she disappeared.”

“I never got to say goodbye to her.”

“I’m sorry, Cosi.”

“She didn’t even say she loves me?”

“I think that goes without saying…”

“At least she’s in the summerlands now.”

Morning didn’t take long to arrive. The sunrise was a beautiful orange, yellow and pink ombré. They decided to go up on their roof to watch it since they were up and the inside was too suffocating for them. Donghyuck was once again the one to help Cosimia on the roof.

The sun started to peek more over the horizon more with every moment. The birds sang, cheerfully as everything around them glow a welcoming gold color. It seemed like the world really had no idea what had gone on or maybe it just proved life went on in many beautiful ways regardless of what horrible things took place in it.

Cosimia looked over to see her boyfriend looking off into the distance with no clue she was staring. He usually knew because he could feel it and he’d make some sly comment about it. She hurt because she had never seen him so quiet.

“Do you still love me?” She struggled to mutter out.

“What?” He was taken back by the question. “Of course I do! What would give you the idea I don’t?”

“Because,” She croaked. “It’s easy to say this is my fault… My father hurt you, my mother possessed you… If I didn’t ask you to come with me you would’ve never gotten hurt or gone through this. The question is how can you love me knowing that, really.”

“I don’t know how many times I have to say how glad I am that I came with you, honestly. I’ve learned many things because of you and I’ve become someone I’m happy to be because of you. I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for this adventure I’ve been able to share with you, Cosi. I know relationships and life in general have hard patches, but I do love you and I want to work through that and still be with you… I want to marry you one day.”

“You do…?”

She seemed shocked by the last part that had left his mouth. Truth be told, so was he. He should’ve learn to shut his mouth after he said ‘i love you’ the day when they started dating. Tears were streaming down the girl’s face which he reached over to wipe away.

“I do…” He smiled. “I hope that’s okay. I know we haven’t dated that long and we’re still very much kids and not ready for that yet… But I do hope to share the rest of my life with you.”

She started sobbing, “You really don’t hate or blame me for what happened?”

“You can’t control those things so of course not.” He reassured her. “I’m just happy to still be here with you right now and you especially, but we’re okay. Maybe not mentally, but physically. We can work on the mental part and get better.”

She laughed a bit through her tears. They boy pulled her over and kissed her forehead, gently this time, “I love you, okay? No matter what. We’ll get through this together even if it’s tough.”

She hugged him with a hum. It was nice to feel comfort for a moment after the stressful night they had been through.

“Should we leave?” She asked.

He breathed, “We’ve created our family here. Plus Johnny has done so much for us just in these last few hours… If you want to go, I’ll go. It’s up to you.”

“Maybe we should stay.” She hummed.

“We have all the time in the world to figure out what’s next for us.”

They intertwined their fingers, holding each other hands rather tightly. Cosimia leaned her head on the boy’s shoulder, feeling some tranquility now. The sun continued to rise in front of them…

T H E E N D.

[sourwolphs]

Like an Animal - Bucky x Reader (4/8)

Read on Ao3 (for better interface + formatting)

Summary: Reader is an enhanced Omega kidnapped by Hydra and trapped in a cell with Alpha Bucky Barnes. Tags: A/B/O, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending Warnings: Rated M 

Wanda used our winding trip from the medical bay all the way to the residential quarters to point out all the amenities in the massive Avenger compound. There was a gym packed with state-of-the-art equipment, a training room with a boxing ring and floor-to-ceiling padding, a lap pool, steel-and-glass conference rooms and office spaces, and even vibranium-reinforced practice rooms for enhanced members of the team. In the upper levels, we passed through the sprawling main kitchen, a lounge packed with plush red couches and a bar stocked with top-shelf alcohol, and a dark and cozy movie room with a massive projector screen.

I was still feeling weak and tired post-heat, and seeing the Avengers compound felt surreal, like I was walking through a dream. All those years I’d spent running… from what? From this? From resources? From a pack? From a chance to make a difference?

Maybe I was crazy to already feel like I belonged here, that I could use the abilities I never asked for to do good in the world, but walking through the compound with Wanda felt… right. I felt like I was coming home.

The only piece missing was him, and it was getting harder and harder to ignore the insistent tug in my chest seeking out Alpha.

Wanda showed me up to my floor, one level above the other residential floor with the common kitchen and lounge area. The pack’s living quarters were built like an apartment complex with hallways full of doors— some with name tags and goofy indicators of the inhabitants (like a cardboard cutout of Captain America with a Sharpie heart drawn on his face outside of a door marked “Wilson” and a fuzzy Halloween doormat covered in orange spiders outside of “Romanoff”).

“Well, here you are,” Wanda said. We stopped in front of a door at the end of the second hallway. Inside was a newly renovated one-bedroom apartment, complete with a kitchenette, living area, bathroom and closet. It was cozy and fully-stocked— sheets, towels, pillows, even pantry staples— and had clearly been decorated by someone with an eye for interior design. I wondered if Tony’s Omega had been in charge of it.

I surprised myself when I felt a tear slip down my cheek, emotions bubbling up inside my chest. I’d spent so many years living in dumps, sleeping on couches and in bathtubs, even on wooden pallets in the back of a restaurant where I had worked for six months, when I could have just listened to that agent and found my way here.

Wanda must have caught the sadness, anger, gratitude and guilt swirling in my scent because she wordlessly leaned in for a hug, her arms warm and firm around me. “You will always be welcome here,” she murmured. I took a deep, soothing inhale of her cinnamon sugar scent and immediately felt my heightened emotions calm— a courtesy of her comforting designation.

After Wanda left me to relax and settle in, I showered and changed into a plain set of loungewear I found in the dresser, climbing into the freshly made bed for a nap and some time to think.

I’d spent the bulk of my adult life running from difficult choices and responsibilities, preferring to scrape by under the radar, hiding both my abilities and my designation. Even just a few days ago, I probably would have given Wanda the slip and found my way to another state to start over. But something had changed in me. I wanted to try.

Maybe it was the fact that the threats the red-haired agent had warned me of had finally become a reality in that Hydra cell.

Or maybe it had something to do with him.

The pack left me alone for a few hours, which I spent getting in a quick power nap before snooping through the apartment, finding good hiding spots and plotting emergency escape routes— because old habits die hard.

I had my head in the closet, groping at a panel in the wall that could either be an air duct or a hidden electrical control panel, when someone knocked softly. As I approached the door, I couldn’t help but take in a deep breath— hoping for that smoky cedar scent on the other side— only to be met with a smooth and neutral Beta blend that was surprisingly familiar.

On the other side of the door stood the red-haired agent.

Last time I’d seen her, there had still been hints of blonde growing out at the ends of her hair. Now, it was cut in a short bob at her jawline, the deep red at her roots running solid through the strands. She smelled like rosewater and ozone— a garden before the rain.

“It’s you,” I couldn’t stop myself from saying. She smirked at me, pouting her lips, and I couldn’t help but feel remorseful. I hadn’t been the nicest when she’d found me last. My escape had involved quite a lot of…. frozen body parts.

“Hi, Y/L/N,” she said. “You’re looking a little less frosty than the last time I saw you.”

I laughed nervously, hoping she wasn’t here to give me a dressing down. I’d only frozen her limbs a little bit back at Fifth Street. Besides, I wasn’t in any state for a brawl, especially with my connection to my abilities still weak post-heat— not to mention the lingering effects of the Terrigen Crystal restraints. “Do you want to… come in?” I asked, opening the door wider.

The Beta nodded and slipped through the door, gaze sweeping around the room before she plopped onto a sectional in the living room. She was graceful and lithe, clad in all-black athleisure, hair pulled back behind her head in a delicate french braid.

“I should probably introduce myse—“

“Did you braid my hair for me?” I interrupted.

She smiled and laughed a little, looking surprised. “You noticed?” She asked, patting the braid at the back of her own head. “I’m surprised you didn’t wake up when I did it, actually. Wanda and I didn’t want you to come to and think you were back in that cell. We figured cleaning you up a bit in the medbay would help.”

I swallowed down the unexpected lump forming in my throat. No one had cared for me like that since my Mom had passed. “Thank you,” I choked out— but it came out more like a whisper. I took a seat on the edge of the couch across from her.

“It was nothing,” she said with a smile. “Anyway— Let me re-introduce myself. I’m Agent Natasha Romanoff, but you can call me Nat. Everyone does. I think we got off on the wrong foot last time we met,” she said with a smirk.

“I’m sorry… I—“ I dropped my head into my hands in embarrassment, groaning.

“Don’t apologize! I cornered you. I shouldn’t have. Besides, I deserved it for underestimating your… tenacity,” she winked. “I’m here to see how you’re holding up. And to fill you in on what you missed while you were out, and what we know so far.”

I nodded, urging her to continue.

“We found you and Bucky at a defunct Hydra base in Paraguay,” she began. My breath hitched at the mention of his name. “We also found a bunch of illegal rut and heat-inducing drugs, and obstetrics equipment, all of which we confiscated for analysis. When we found you, you were deep into a sympathy heat and Bucky was barely hanging on through his rut, but we managed to get you both to safety without incident.”

I was speechless. I knew Hydra was evil. They were the bogeymen of children’s nightmares when I was growing up, the big bad evil lurking just beneath the surface. But what were they planning…. And why me?

“You’re probably wondering why it was you,” Nat said, reading my mind. “We don’t know either. But like I said the last time we met… There are a lot of evil people out there who would love to get their hands on your abilities.”

“When you first came to me, that warning didn’t seem real,” I admitted. “It does now.”

Nat nodded. “And the offer I made to you back then still stands. You’re a damn strong woman to have made it through what you did, and the world needs more people like you protecting it. Bucky told us how you stood up to that Hydra douchebag.”

“Aw, shucks,” I said, trying to play it cool through the heat rising in my cheeks and the swoop of excitement in my stomach. They really wanted me here. “I can’t imagine why you’d want to keep me around, but if I’m being honest, I don’t really feel particularly safe leaving. At least not now.”

“Understandable,” she added. “Take your time getting settled in. We don’t run on any formal schedule around here— most of the pack either lives here or spends weekdays here. You’re welcome to use any of the facilities— except I don’t recommend poking around in Stark’s lab.”

We both laughed, and Nat stood, making her way back out of my new living space. “Oh— One more thing before I leave you alone,” she said, spinning gracefully on her heels. “Wanda asked me to tell you that if you want someone to train with, she’s happy to help.”

——-

I’d never had a pack. Not since my parents, anyway— but the three of us could hardly be considered one, with how isolated we were. So it genuinely surprised me how quickly and effortlessly I fit in at the compound.

It took a few days to find my footing. I spent long hours mapping out the maze of buildings, hallways and facilities from one edge of the campus to the other. But slowly, I started to carve out a routine with the people who lived here.

It was Sam who became my friend first. We met one morning in the common area kitchen, as I awkwardly buttered a slice of toast, planning to take it back to my room to eat alone. He’d just gotten back from a run, sweat sticking his shirt to his chest, making his normally neutral Beta scent strong and tropical. It reminded me of the beach— salty ocean breezes, lemon and lime. He was leaning against the counter, swigging down orange juice straight from the carton, and giving me an amused look. Before I could retreat to my room, he coaxed me to the countertop to keep him company while he ate.

We hit it off almost immediately, discovering everything we had in common. We both loved 60s music, enjoyed running in the mornings, and considered breakfast our favorite meal of the day. From that morning on, we made it a routine to cook elaborate egg, bacon and pancake breakfasts, the scent of which reliably drew pack members out of their rooms with bleary eyes and morning breath.

Soon, our morning breakfasts turned into pre-breakfast runs. I quickly learned that my abilities increased my stamina more than I had previously known, as I outpaced Sam most days. After 10 miles left him sweat-soaked and gasping for breath, I felt like I had the energy for another 20.

A week after our heart-to-heart in my apartment, I stumbled upon Natasha’s secret training room, located a few doors down from the gym and boxing ring and devised to look like a storage closet from the outside. It was a small, low-lit room with mirrors on the walls and a ballet bar running down the width. She was practicing pointe, hair tied back in a severe bun. I’d never learned to dance, but I liked to share space with her while she trained, marveling at the power and grace in her form. I started bringing a yoga mat there in the early afternoon when I knew I could find her there. I’d always enjoyed yoga— needed it, even. The grounding and meditation aspects of the practice helped me locate the source of the strange energy within me and wrangle it under control. With my body distracted by challenging physical forms, my mind was free to connect with that icy burn in my chest, memorizing how it channeled its way through my body.

I was overjoyed at my blossoming friendships with the two Betas, but at the end of the day, I found myself craving time with another Omega. Luckily, I had Wanda in my corner right from the jump. It’s common for pack Omegas to stick together, serving as sources of comfort and support to one another without any strings attached, and Wanda was generous with both. We’d spend the early evenings in comfortable silence, reading or watching 80s sitcoms. Some days, we’d even venture into the the reinforced training rooms so I could test out the strength of my abilities under supervision. Wanda never parted ways with me without a soothing hug, and I began to wonder if she needed them just as much as I did. Natasha had told me she was bonded, but I could never smell her mate on her, nor had I met him yet.

I ran into Steve last, on a Saturday afternoon. According to Nat, he’d been out on missions for my first week, which is why I hadn’t met him yet. I was outside, wandering the paths of the Avengers campus and soaking up the early spring sunshine.

Feeling uncharacteristically safe, I turned my head up towards the blue sky as I walked— which meant that I literally ran straight into Captain America. He was still suited up in navy tactical gear, dirt smudged across his cheek and in his golden hair, vibranium shield strapped to his back.

“Woah there,” he said, reaching out to steady me with just the tips of his fingers as I ricocheted off his chest.

I was immediately hit with his warm and inviting scent, like hot summer sunshine and old books. It felt strangely familiar and… comforting. He was huge, as most Alphas are, but his kind, open face and gentle scent felt to me more like that of a Beta or an Omega.

“S-Sorry,” I sputtered, taking a step back. His hands dropped to his sides. “Wasn’t looking where I was going— clearly”

“Steve Rogers,” he said with a smile, holding out his hand to shake.

I laughed, despite my initial nervousness. “Yeah, I know. Nice to meet you Captain America, I’m Y/N.”

Was that a… blush? Steve looked bashful. “Actually, we’ve already met, but I don’t think you remember. Last week. I…carried you out of that Hydra base.”

My eyes widened. That must be why I’d unconsciously associated his scent with safety.

Now it was my turn to blush— he’d carried me out while I was in heat. Sobbing, begging for my Alpha, slick running down my legs…

“Nat didn’t tell me that part,” I said quickly. “But thank you. Really. I owe you.”

He shook his head with a smile. “Happy to help.”    

From that day on, Steve started accompanying Sam and I on our runs in the morning, much to Sam’s chagrin. Not even I could keep up with Steve’s superhuman stamina, but teaming up on Sam to outrace him made us laugh until our sides were in stitches.

After I’d accidentally let it slip that the only major movie franchises I’d watched were Star Wars and Toy Story, Sam took it upon himself to “educate” me on the best action movies of the 90s and 2000s every evening. In just a few weeks, we tore through Mortal Kombat, Point Break, Die Hard, the Matrix trilogy, and the Mission Impossible series. Steve would often join us, cramming his huge body onto the compact couches in the movie room. Even Natasha found time at the end of the day to curl up with us, critiquing the outlandish hand-to-hand combat moves on the projector screen and throwing popcorn every time the choreography offended her expert sensibilities.

Though I felt closest and most comfortable with Sam, Wanda, Nat and Steve, I slowly got to know the other pack members as well. Stark, who spent most of his time tinkering in his lab, sent updates to me through FRIDAY on any new information their analysis had uncovered from the confiscated Hydra equipment. Dr. Banner, a shy Omega who smelled peculiarly like sage and burnt caramel, was helping Stark analyze the equipment, and would often share updates as well. Pepper, Stark’s Omega, was a human ray of sunshine. She checked on me more than a few times, always asking how the facilities were treating me and urging me to ask for anything I needed.

Altogether, my first three weeks with the pack were a dream come true. But as much as I loved every minute of my new life here, there was something— rather, someone— missing.

My first day waking up at the compound, I’d half expected Bucky to come find me. After all, we’d been through something terrible together. Part of me stupidly believed he’d swoop in to comfort me, apologize for not being by my bedside when I woke up and reassure me that everything was going to be fine. But that was just a silly fantasy concocted by my Omega hindbrain. He never showed. And nobody seemed to be talking about him, either— at least not to me.

After Wanda had reacted so strangely to my questions about his whereabouts when I woke up, I held back from asking any follow-up questions of Sam, Nat or Steve. I’d never had an Alpha in my life. My parents had been Betas. I didn’t know if it was normal for an Omega to feel this connected, this obsessive. And frankly, I didn’t want to be weird.

After a few weeks, I started to grow used to my Omega brain thinking about him by default— his delicious scent, his icy blue eyes, the feel of his fingers gently carding through my hair, the pressure of his teeth on my neck. More often than not, I found myself unconsciously scenting different rooms in the compound, seeking out that cedar smell before I entered. But I never caught it.

I struggled to sleep at night. After feeling it once, unlike anything I’d experienced before, my body viscerally craved the comfort of his Alpha purr. The craving was so strong that sometimes I couldn’t rest for hours— tossing and turning, piling pillows and blankets on the bed to imitate the safety of a nest. Running with Sam and Steve in the morning helped tire me out. So did practicing yoga with Nat, and exhausting my abilities in the training room with Wanda. But there was always something missing. And try as I might, I couldn’t shake it.

If I didn’t know better, I’d think that I was experiencing bond withdrawal. But without a mating bite, that explanation was impossible.

————

If Bucky hadn’t been tortured by Hydra for 70 years, he would say that this was the worst pain he’d ever experienced. It didn’t compare to having his brain scrambled by electricity, but it was damn close.

After the quinjet had landed at base after the rescue, and Sam had scooped up Y/N to ferry her to the medbay, Bucky pulled Steve aside on the landing strip, tearing his eyes away from Sam’s back retreating into the compound.

“I think it would be best if I… went away for a while,” Bucky said, unable to make eye contact with his best friend. He studied Steve’s boots, dirt-smudged and scuffed from combat.

“Buck, I don’t like where your head’s at,” Steve said gently, placing a grounding hand on his shoulder. “You just got dosed up on synthetic rut and locked up with an Omega in heat for some messed up…forced breeding crap. It’s not like you did anything wrong. This isn’t on you.”

Bucky bit his tongue, hard. That’s where Steve was wrong. He had done something wrong— and even if he hadn’t succumbed to what Hydra wanted from him, he still needed to keep himself away from Y/N. This close, he could still smell traces of the Omega’s heat lingering on Steve. Even without rut, it was turning his inner Alpha feral with want.

“Just a few weeks, is all. Make sure she’s okay?” Bucky said, knowing he didn’t have to ask. The pack would take care of her. “She’s strong— she told those Hydra agents to fuck off— but she shouldn’t have to be. Not after this.”

Steve gave him his signature earnest look, chewing his lower lip with concern, before sighing out his agreement.

Bucky had spent the past few weeks in a cramped studio apartment the pack kept for emergencies in Brooklyn. He’d hardly left the space, sleeping fitful hours in the night, interrupted by nightmares. He’d paced the floor in front of the only window so many times in his agitation that he thought he was starting to see grooves in the wood.

At all hours of the day, he ached for her scent, still vivid in his Alpha hindbrain— sharp and crisp as snow but just as sugary sweet as peppermint. Embarrassingly, he’d taken to snacking on a crumbling jar of mints he’d found in the back of the pantry, letting the artificial scent soothe his racing thoughts as they melted on his tongue. It wasn’t as good as the real thing, but it helped— especially since his whole body felt like it was prickling with need nonstop, chest cracking open, aching for her touch. His Alpha wrestled with his conscious brain to remember every small detail of her, from the gentle curve of her waist to her soft lips, the feeling of her hair between his fingertips, her unbelievable scent.

If he didn’t know better, he’d think he was going through fucking bond withdrawal. With an Omega he’d spent maybe seven hours with.

If Bucky’d had it his way, he would have stayed holed up in the apartment until this… thing had run its course. But after three weeks, Steve had finally had enough of his self-isolating nonsense, and had showed up at the door of the apartment to drag Bucky back with his metaphorical tail between his legs.

Bucky could tell his best friend didn’t know exactly why he was so opposed to returning home, though he figured Steve had an inkling of what was going on just from the lingering scent of suffering and guilt that had soaked into the peeling wallpaper of the studio.

“Everything’s fine, Buck. She’s settling in great— you’ll see. Wanda, Sam and Nat love her,” he said reassuringly, the unspoken I do, too hung in the air between them. Even with three weeks of distance between them, Bucky still couldn’t forgive himself for not being the Alpha to rescue her from that cell, for being so caught up in his own urges that he couldn’t be the hero that Steve was.

Bucky spent the majority of the car ride back to the compound stewing in self-hatred and anxiety, wondering if his return would be what tipped Y/N over the edge, sending her back into hiding. Then it would be undeniably his fault that she left. His fault that she was taken from everyone in the pack. Mercifully, Steve said nothing about his inner turmoil stinking up the car, only rolling down the window a crack to let in the cool spring air.

Even after all that time spent stewing in his thoughts, Bucky still wasn’t prepared to see her the minute he got back to the compound.

When he stepped out of the elevator on his floor, duffel bag thrown over his shoulder, he was immediately hit with three scents at once— a hot spike of concern from Steve, a dose of Nat’s joyful rosewater smell, and her. Peppermint. This time sweet, happy and warm like a cup of mint tea.

The two women were laughing together, lounging on the plush red couches of the living space, but their laughter cut off sharply as the ding of the elevator sounded. Bucky froze like a deer in headlights as they both turned to look his way.

Time seemed to slow down as their eyes connected. His eyes frantically scanned her face and body for evidence of injury, documenting the healthy glow in her cheeks, the brightness of her eyes, her soft hair pulled back in one of Nat’s french braids. She looked… happy. Healthy. Beautiful.

Unconsciously, he felt his hackles raise when he noticed Nat’s hand circled around Y/N’s ankle where it was stretched out towards her lap.

“Hey Buck, long time no see,” Nat said with an uncharacteristic gentleness, shaking him out of his stupor. Both women were giving him a concerned look, now, the smiles drifting off of their faces.

Rather than say or do anything he regretted, Bucky elected not to say or do anything at all. Coward, his Alpha snarled at him as he strode down the hallway to his bedroom. Go back there and claim your Omega.

“Buck!” Steve called after him, concern coloring his tone. “Bucky!”

But Bucky ignored him, holding his breath to avoid her scent until his apartment door was shut tight behind his back.

[burnedbyshoto]

Hey, so I guess this is kinda an emergency request. You don't have to do this if you feel uncomfortable with it but, after a good 4 months clean a relapsed a few hours ago and now in just disappointed in myself and I was wondering if you could write a small fic of Aizawa helping his student (the reader) deal with relapse. Again I completely understand if this is not something you'll do but if you do thanks in advance.

tw: self harm relapse

I don’t know what exactly you relapsed in, but be it drugs, drinking, self harm, etc. but seeing that you seem sober i’m going to assume it’s self harm. but know that I love you and am hoping for the best. I was about to go back to sleep when I saw this so, I hope you enjoy. just because you relapsed doesn’t mean you’ve lost, I know you can win.

i’m on my phone so sorry for weird formatting. also if my math is wrong it’s because I did it in my head.

platonic!aizawa x reader

warnings: cursing, tw: self harm

Four months.

122 days.

2508 hours

You had been able to keep your mind free from the entangled thorns of your past free from you skin, your lungs, your mind. You had been healthy, happier if not even a little better.

Four months ago you put away your blade for what you believed would be the last time. The scratches on your arms faded from angry reds to pale white lines that gave you forgotten memories and the bitter taste of needing to feel real.

Three months and two weeks into your determination to finally be better you felt alive. Things were on top of the world again, things felt real, things were okay. Your smiles were true, and your happiness was warm and bright.

But then on that last week things seemingly fell apart. Things were falling apart and the next thing you knew your fingers shook as you grabbed the cold metal between your fingers. You blinked and the next thing you comprehended was your blood soaked arm, and the same cold metal that glinted in the light of the bathroom.

Familiar cutting pain tingled in your arms as you sobbed.

You messed up.

You fucked up.

You were better than this!

You watched as the ruby red liquid feel down your arms and disappointment flooded your body as you turned around. You needed air, you needed to be away from yourself.

You didn’t take a jacket and you wore the worst shoes for a January night, but the coldness of nature couldn’t seem to overcome the stinging chill that was your self-hatred and depreciation. You weren’t aware of anything as you walked.

The blood trailing down your arms to drip from your fingertips were ignored. The animals that watched you from the distance were ignored. Your homeroom teacher that walked pass you in silence, ignored.

“Where’s your jacket, Y/l/n?” Aizawa’s voice called, it sounded like he was speaking through a glass door as you turned around to face him. Instinctively, you shifted your abused arm away from him, your body flinching at the feeling of the fresh wounds re-opening.

“Good evening, Aizawa-sensei,” you bowed as a smile overcame your features. He’d leave you alone soon, just had to power through this short conversation.

“What’s wrong with your arm,” he asks immediately, his eyes focused on your arm.

“Ah, see I was using my duct tape, and I accidentally scratched myself with the razor edge,” you smoothly lied despite it all. You didn’t want to tell Aizawa that you weren’t strong enough, you couldn’t handle more people being disappointed with you.

He grunted under his breathe as your eyes finally took in the trail of blood that had followed you, fuck.

“Let me see it, you’re bleeding profusely.”

double fuck.

“It’s okay, I was messing around with the cut and made it way worse on acci— HEY!”

aizawa easily pulled you in by your clean arm with his capturing device. his hands heavy, assertive, and still careful as he looked at your bloodied arm. you looked away as hot tears brimmed your eyes, he knew you gave in! you couldn’t even remember why you gave in! was he going to expel you for lack of potential and dedication as a hero?! you didn’t think you couldn’t handle that.

“was tonight your first relapse?” he asks, his tone is hard and thick with worry as a disinfecting wipe is pressed to your arm. you don’t even whimper as it stings your arm.

“...how do you know it’s a relapse?”

“im your sensei, it’s part of my job,” aizawa says but you’re unsure if he’s joking or not. “I had my assumptions when you didn’t want to partake in the pool training during the summer and chose to sat there with a hoodie on.”

your head remained low as embarrassment burned away at your skin, you really were an idiot sometimes.

“I won’t tell anyone that you relapsed,” aizawa murmured as he wrapped medical bandages around your arm. you flinched as he tugged a bit too tightly at it, and he made a sympathetic noise as he set it correctly. “depression is a hard thing, diagnosed or not it’s not something to be taken lightly. I’m sure you’re beating yourself up about this as much as I want to scold you for it. but it happened, you relapsed, you lost. it’s in the past now and old habits and comforts are hard to break. yes you gave in, but now you can start again. baby steps are okay and relapsing isn’t the end of the world. calm down, let’s figure out what caused you to break and see what we can do to find a... healthier way at expressing your negative emotions. you’ll win this war, y/l/n, I promise you that.”

tears silently dropped down your face as you stared at your teacher, and you didn’t think as you hugged him bawling. awkwardly, he embraced you too, as if he didn’t know how to comfort humans but it was more than enough for you.

“come, I’ll make you tea and you can pet my cat.”

“o-okay!”

[utterlyinevitable]

Do We Have A Future?: August

Part 1 | Part 2: November | Part 3: January | Part 4: April

Paring: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Rebecca Lao) Word Count: 2.3k Warning: Adult themes, mental health triggers, themes of depression, pregnancy complications and termination Summary: Rebecca told Ethan and now they have to live with the aftermath of their decision.

Author’s Note: Sensitive subject matter means I really suggest only reading if you are 18+ years old... I can’t believe it’s over. This story is deeply personal and I never imagined it to be this long - I wrote the first part on a whim. Thank you for reading and encouraging and inspiring me to get my feelings out under the cloak of Becca and Ethan’s love. This has been so cathartic. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you 💗

Taglist: @ohchoices​​ @dulceghernandez​​ @aylamwrites​​ @binny1985​​ @ramseysno1rookie​​ @interobanginyourmom​​ @queencarb​​ @imactuallytheceoofthecompany @rookiefromedenbrook​ @eramsey28​ @choicesficwriterscreations​ @heauxplesslydevoted​ @schnitzelbutterfingers​ @purpledragonturtles​ @ramseyandrys​​ @ermidc​ @mrsdrakewalkerblog​

________________________________________

She finally stopped crying at the memory of the incident and at any infants she’d come in contact with throughout her daily life. It had taken nearly a year for Rebecca Lao to get to this point. 

But how long are you really meant to grieve for the child you never had? 

As her boyfriend Ethan was wary of her every single day, just waiting for the moment that her hard coated exterior crumbled right down in front of him. Some days he noticed how her tear ducts began to swell and her back stiffened whenever they were faced with an unhappy diagnosis. 

As her boss, Ethan eventually let her work on a preeclampsia case with baited breath, watching her like a hawk every step of the way. Every time she’d visit the patient’s room he wouldn’t be more than five steps behind. Whenever she’d assess the lab results, he’d be right there with her ready to break her fall. And when she left the mother’s side Ethan kept in time with Becca, his hand caressing the small of her back as they moved through the motions and onto another case. 

She handed the whole thing better than he could have ever anticipated. Becca didn’t need him at all, not anymore - but she’s damn thankful for the support, however overbearing. In the end, the mother and premature daughter lived happily ever after. Even with all of her self-mending practices, the sight of the infant still stung deep down in Becca’s core. Ethan didn’t notice as he held her hand outside the NICU, her curated mask keeping her emotions at bay. Although she fortified the walls around her heart strong enough to carry out her daily life, still not a day goes by that Becca doesn’t think about what could have been. 

It’d be different if we weren’t together and planning a future. If we broke up maybe it’d hurt less? 

Planning a forever seemed futile when they’d thrown a family away not so long ago. Coming from a broken home, the little doe eyed and innocent girl in the back of Becca’s mind desperately wanted a functional, loving family. A family that put their collective happiness first and nobody ran away. The silver lining to the termination meant they had the option to try again. Properly, when time aligned. When would that be? Would it ever happen? We haven’t had sex since...

Months ago, Ethan finally stopped asking her if she was okay and if she wanted to speak to someone about the experience. As always Becca dutifully declined - the fantasy world she built in her head was all the solace and consoling she needed. 

When the two of them are cuddled on the couch watching a film the phantom daughter of her mind’s eye would emerge. Becca would welcome her beloved mirage by nestling it right across her unchanged chest, coddled safely between her arms and protected from the world around them. 

In the silent and lazy Sunday mornings her phantom would be cuddled close to her heart as Ethan sleepily spooned the love of his life, blissfully unaware of the dream playing out before him on her side of the bed. Happily, Becca would be caressing the thick and curly hair that mirrored her own off of her daughter’s rounded face and giving soothing rubs along her back. Letting herself trail little bits of love over the soft and unweathered skin of her child. A hollow smile forms as the illusion plays out in front of her under the blanket of dusk. But once the strong daylight of reality peered in through their large windows, the tableau vanished. These little moments kept Becca grounded in the present. She needed a happily ever ending. 

As the weeks passed by and the delusion began to solidify into a distant memory, Becca finally had some gusto in her. She didn’t need to hide anymore. Ethan and her were able to joke and chide and taunt each other in the best of ways - just like old times. They were finally opening back up to one another. They let themselves be unashamedly intimate once again. 

The hurricane between them had seemingly passed, the damage was done and swept away at a political pace. There were still some cracks in the roads, but they’d weather them together. 

Becca was making blueberry pancakes one Sunday morning. Ethan sat at the kitchen island with his expert cup of coffee, struggling to breath through his laughter. Becca had just told him the worst joke - so bad that not even the corners of his lips perked up in pity. When she tried to explain why it was funny and Ethan still wasn’t understanding, her face scrunched up with a loud Humph and a stamp of her foot. Her little outburst caused her to slip on a few now-crushed blueberries, tossing what was left of the batter into the air. 

Ethan couldn’t contain himself. The cracks and wrinkles from years worth of living came alight with his bellowing laughter. His ocean eyes shut tightly as he gripped at the center of his bare chest. Once his diaphragm settled he rose to find his girlfriend now laying spread out on the wooden floor in defeat; Becca’s hair spewn over her grumpy face, her hands still holding onto the bowl and spatula but the contents were artistically gracing the lower cabinets and surrounding area.   

He grabbed a kitchen towel from the front of the oven and began to clean up the rogue splatters of batter, utterly bemused. 

The situation caught up with her and Becca chuckled as she discarded the equipment and made a faux snow angel on the floor, letting the lighthearted breath of fresh air take control - it was a stark contrast from the uncertainty and hopelessness that surrounded their every waking moment the last few months. 

“I hope our kids have my sense of humor,” she lamented during her motions.  

Ethan gasped loudly feigning hurt, “What’s wrong with mine?” 

Becca lifted her head slightly to observe him. His blue eyes shining bright with amusement meeting her matching light brown. 

“It’s terrible! You’re such a grump!” she exclaimed, mentally noting all the times she told him a pop culture reference he didn’t understand just like moments ago. Becca placed her head back on the cool wood and said, “Your dad jokes have improved though.” 

Ethan playfully rolled his eyes. I missed this.

He stood and bounded over to her with that silly smirk still plastered on his face. “I hope they have my good looks and intelligence,” He told her, offering his hands to help her to her feet. “They can have your…” he paused for dramatic effect, looking her over - taking in the way she still looked so unbelievably stunning even with batter smeared all over her face and hair wildly pointing every which way. 

“Chromosome.”  

Becca’s jaw dropped at the insult. 

Squeezing his hands hard she sassed him right back, “Ethan Jonah, are you saying I have no qualities you’d like reflected in our children?” 

His eyes softened as he assessed the magnificent woman before him. He had a lopsided grin as he spoke;

“I’d like them to have your curly hair,” he pushed a few strands behind her ear. Her completely enamored brown eyes fluttered closed as she melted into his touch. “Your little button nose,” he booped her nose. “Definitely your spunk and heart,” he gave a nod in certainty as his finger lingered. “And attitude;” her eyebrow rose encouraging him to continue that thought. In complete honesty he told her, “You are a better person than I.” 

It was something he showed her again and again. 

He regretted how self serving he used to be at the start of their partnership and felt entirely undeserving of how she continuously was there for him during his darkest of times - with Naveen’s diagnosis, with his mother and father, the near decimation of his life’s work. She never left his side. He was in awe of how, on the job, she did all she could for those around her, every stranger mattered in her eyes. She found the loopholes for their patients he was too stubborn to see - to make a difference, an imprint on all lives she comes in contact with, for the better. 

Becca’s heart was always in the right place. She had a courage and impulsive intuition he fiercely admired. In these last months she made the decision to save her own life, and she seemingly held her head high. Ethan knew he could never be that strong - if they had swapped places he couldn’t even fathom what sort of mess would have become of him. Ethan remembered how he wasn’t able to be there for her in the ways she needed during the Mrs. Martinez debacle because of his pride and personal ethics. He never forgave himself for letting all those months of what could have been slip through his fingertips and spent every moment of every day of every week in these last few months making sure she knew how important and special and loved she is. Dr. Ethan Ramsey is hopelessly devoted to Dr. Rebecca Lao. Whatever incidents befall them in the future they will tackle together. They’d be strong together. 

They’ve been strong together all this time. 

“I am,” she agreed, her eyes darting open to accompany her sly smirk. 

The two held one another’s gaze, their shoulders relaxing in unison and letting the bright and carefree morning swaddle them. Their worries all seemingly distant. All that mattered was them, their love and the abandoned pancakes. 

The last few months have aged them more than they have realized. The dark circles under Becca’s eyes held a weight she will never be rid of, a lasting reminder of what she’s been through and all she has overcome. She held herself a little higher now - she was done hiding and feeling ashamed. Ethan had a few more worry lines etched into his chiseled features, and next to default indifference of his natural gaze his eyes held clarity at the forefront - as if he had finally solved the mystery of his existence - his morals and personal ethics were damned.

 Becca playfully wrinkled her nose as she said, “They’re definitely not having your big head.” She wasn’t sure if it was the idea of giving birth to a large headed baby that sent a chill up her spine or Ethan’s calloused fingertips gingerly tracing its curvature; up and down, up and down. 

They both knew they had no control over genetics but he smirked anyway as he cradled his arms tightly around her back, “I’ll do my best to keep that from happening.”  

Becca softly touched his cheek, “That’s all I ask. I like my vagina too much as it is.” 

He laughed. A genuine, wrinkle-glowing laugh that rivaled the earlier comedic-induced laughter. She moved closer to hold him in a tight hug, listening to the comforting palpitations of Ethan Ramsey’s heart and feeling of the subtle rise and fall of his chest. There was a certain kind of euphoria in feeling the warmth of his back under her manicured palms.  

I missed this, she thought, tightening her grip.  

The laughter settled and she whispered ever so softly, he wouldn’t have noticed if he wasn’t so entranced by her, “I think... I think I’d want a c-section.” A small part of Becca found solace over the last few months in knowing she made the right decision - childbirth is terrifying and she definitely was not ready for a baby if she can’t even wrap her head around getting it out.   

He pulled away just enough to raise an eyebrow at her.  

“I don’t think I’d be strong enough,” it came out with a breath of air she was holding in, quiet and earnest. Just as easily she joked, “And not being able to control my bladder for the rest of my life is not appealing in the slightest.” 

They laughed it off. It was a jovial statement they knew as truth. 

But it didn’t matter anymore. They could speak about these things - they could speak about the future and pregnancy and babies and cravings, genetics, birthing plans and even last rights. They didn’t need to hide anymore. No secret wishes or manifestations suffering in silence, and not wanting to disturb the grieving process of the other. Everything now out in the open to share together. Revel in together. Carry together.  

The last year was absolute hell and Becca chastised herself for letting all that time slip past. She could never get that time back. She still was not fully at peace with her lost child but accepting it for what it is - it will always be a part of her. 

Through the internal turmoil Ethan and Rebecca grew as a couple and as individuals - they became stronger. They can talk about it and dream their new nuclear dream together. A dream that could quite possibly include a picket fence and a few certificates. 

Becca will never forget her phantom child, but hopefully she can lay her to rest. It had taken months of grieving in the dark depths of her mind and now was the time to face the sunshine. It was time to look forward to her career and enjoy having Ethan to herself, the serenity uninterrupted. The ability to continue making impulsive decisions, whims without any regard, and pulling unapologetic all nighters at the hospital whenever they pleased. There’s many things Becca would like to do before they have a family. 

Me and you. Just us two… For another two years at least. 

They have their entire future ahead of them.

_____________________

A/N: although my story’s a bit different from becca’s, it’s taken almost two years for me to finally be at peace with the fact and mentally move on. no matter your demons, please seek help. whether it be a friend, family or trained professional talking it out helps as i’ve just learned - even if it makes you feel small and stupid. if you need anything please drop me a line - i’m here and will support you, unconditionally. 

[vegetacide]

TaG: Bloodlines (Part 5)

Veg • notables: Any errors in this are strictly my own

Ty to @gumnut-logic and @scribbles97 for the brainstorming help and the encouragement.

Previous: Part 1 | Part 2 Bit 1 & Bit 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Rating and General warning: Mature content head. If you are not a fan of medical issues of a female nature in relation to pregnancy please proceed with caution.

Characters: Virgil, Kayo, (V/K)…

Location: TaG-verse AU | Auckland Gen.

E N J O Y

8-8-8

Part 5 - Kesan

The room grew incredibly and uncomfortable quiet as soon as the Doctor left and Kayo idly fingered the gold band that encircled her ring finger.

Of all the things she could have done and had done; keeping things from Virgil was one that she hadn’t actively participated in since becoming a couple. Total transparency had been one of the fundamental elements of their relationship.

Sure they sometimes kept things to themselves for a bit until they could process but they always went to each other to discuss whatever was bothering them. And here she was going against one of the main tenants they’d built their whole life together on. All due to fear of worrying him unnecessarily.

She’d fallen back on old habits that she’d sworn she wouldn’t ever resort to again. Holding stuff back from her family had only resulted in unnecessary pain and mistrust. Though none of the brothers would admit that trust had been lost, she knew there had been some that had slipped out of her reach.

Looking at the heavy boots of her lover and confidant Kayo couldn’t figure out where to start to repair the damage she had done. Probably leading with an apology would be the best bet but she wasn’t sure if Virgil was ready to hear her.

She forced her mouth to move and head to rise. She was a Kyrano, damn it and she would face this mess head on just like she’d be taught all those years ago.

“Virgil…”

He held a hand up and stepped up to her side, taking her elbow to help her to her feet. “I don’t want to discuss it right now. We need to get you home and in bed before our security detail has kittens. We’ve been here long enough.”

God, that hurt.

Getting her feet under her, she leaned into her husband and pushed to her feet. Wobbling a bit as the room fogged out a bit around the edges.

Virgil sighed, steadied her and in an easy movement of one used to carting people’s broken bodies around he scooped her up into his arms as if she weighed no more than a feather.

Kayo, thanked him and he shrugged it off as he stepped through the door to the ensuite bathroom and set her down on the toilet.

“Do you want me to stay or…?” He asked, looking around the small space and poking at the shower controls.

Kayo contemplated her options but she really didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts right now. As much as it pained her to have to see the hurt shadowing her husband’s eyes she didn’t trust herself to be able to keep her feet firmly under her.

“Stay...please.”

Virgil gave a curt nod and rolled up his sleeves, the corded muscles of his forearms flexing as he folded the fabric out of the way. “Shower?” He questioned, bobbing his head in the direction of the open faced enclosure.

“Please.”

He turned his broad back and started to fiddle with the controls. Adjusting the temperature and pressure settings until he was satisfied.

Kayo took a moment to look around the tiled space. It was tastefully decorated but completely functional. A full length mirror took up one wall to help dispel any claustrophobia. The colours were all warm toned and pleasing patterns. The lines; all clean and easy to maintain but with an air of elegance.

There was a charming framed print just inside the door out of the way of any of the mandatory grab bars and emergency assistance buttons. Though as she inspected it she wasn’t so sure it was a print…

Basically the place was designed to comfort those that could afford it with no expense spared. The tile flooring beneath her bare feet was even heated and it spoke to how adequately financed the hospital was.

Probably helped that Tracy Industries had made various large donations over the years… not that the general public knew that.

Wishing to break the uncomfortable silence, she pointed to the painting. “Is that real?”

Virgil stole a quick look at it before pursing his lips and nonchalantly shrugging. “Yes, though not one of that artist’s better known work or best for that matter.”

Reaching over her head, he plucked a towel off a wooden linen shelf and set it on the counter before taking her arm and guiding her back to her feet.

“All set. You read to go?”

She indicated that she was and Virgil pulled the ties of her johnny loose and slipped it from her arms.

“Do you need the …?”He indicated the toilet and she shook her head.

“I’m fine, I just want to clean up and get out of here.”

Kneeling down he made quick work of her undergarments, throwing away anything that needed disposing off quickly and efficiently. His own medical training and detachment to what he saw taking firm hold over his emotions.

“I second that notion..” He mumbled leading her over to shower. He eyed the stall a moment, seemed to decide something and shucked his own clothing to step in behind her.

“One can never be too clean.” He commented off handedly, bracing her with his strong hands on her slender hips.

The water was just the right temperature and she couldn’t resist moaning as it hit her skin. Warm water cascaded down and washed away the evidence of the day, circled around her feet and down the drain and she tried to watch it in a detached way.

Feeling her resolve to keep it together starting to shatter she reached for the soap but Virgil beat her too it. Taking the bar between his hands he lathered it up and started the process of cleaning her. He was meticulous, soaping up every inch of her from her toes to her thighs and back down again.

There was nothing sexual to it, just caring determination that she had a hard time processing considering the wound she had inflicted.

Looking anywhere but at her husband and she tried to contain herself but it was a losing battle and she didn’t think she had the energy reserves to keep up the front.

Virgil pressing up against her back and kissing the crown of her head was her undoing. It was as if he had sensed her teetering and he knew exactly what she needed.

The unwanted tears she’d been holding back finally escaped down her cheeks and she sagged against him, his arms encircling her waist and pulling her close.

“I’m so sorry.” She whimpered and he held on tight while she cried into the shower.

An incoming message pinged as a chipped cup was raised to thin lips.

Eyes of an unnatural chartreuse, flashed a malcontent yellow. Bionics rings that lined one iris glowing dangerously bright as a flare of anger sparked to life.

Narrow lips pulled back in a snarl of disgust and his cup was sent sailing. Blistering tea splashing in a blood like spray across a stained wall and dripping on to the floor to mix with putrid waste that littered the illegal café.

The burned out grunt manning the counter bulked in retaliation at the adverse display of destruction. Stepping around the counter with the intent of confronting the offender.

Malice filled eyes turned to him and all thoughts of bravery fled. The narcotics devotee just barely this side of sober latching onto his instinctual response of self preservation that the evil before him threatened.

Like the cockroach he was, scabby skinned and oily he scampered away, hands up in a weak display of surrender. Slinking back behind his offensive counter; a feeble block of dry rot and duct tape placed between him and the cloud of disrepute that encompassed the back corner of the store.

Snarling teeth ground and gnashed in hatred and the long, clean agile fingers that protruded from tatted fingerless gloves threw up a dark web portal beside the offending information.

Orders sent were blunt; concise and decidedly wicked. A plan was forming and the evil snarl turned up into an unholy grin. More information would be needed. It was always needed but the source this time could be one of his own making and his pawns would fall into place.

After many years of trying, a solution and an end appeared to finally be within sight.

The light of the console before him flickered and changed as coded responses started to scroll by. Looking up across the so-called establishment to the waste of skin and bone shivering behind the counter, he pushed from his station and stood...

8-8-8

TBC

NEXT

[gingerwritess]

Hey-o! I don't know if you'd take a request like this (and you probably have so many piled up already since you're so amazing) but I'm in a mood and I'm craving some Loki & reader pregnancy + body positivity with like major fluff. Basically I've just been watching a lot of Colleen Ballinger's pregnancy videos and that inspired this odd request.

took forever but here’s that pregnancy fluff you wanted! 

turns out i wanted it too…hope more of you do too ksjdkaldkf how does anyone n o t this is so fluffy gosh

also this could be when you’re preggo with either kid, elliot or lil frigga !!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Look, if you’re not going to stay in bed, then you at least owe it to your husband to keep your shirt off.”

Loki’s pouting.

Like a child. Bottom lip out and trembling, eyes narrowed, arms crossed. You’re still deciding if it’s endearing or just annoying, but the scales might be tipping a little more towards endearing when he grabs your pillow and hugs it to his chest.

“Come back or keep your shirt off,” he warns, voice muffled when he buries his face in the pillow. “Both would be ideal, of course, but I won’t force you.”

“Oh, thanks, you’re a saint.” You pull your arms back out of the t-shirt with a tiny smile.

He flings an arm across your empty side of the bed, still hugging your pillow to his chest—a quiet plea for your warmth again.

“I didn’t realise you stopped loving me.” A tiny sniff—oh come on, Loki—comes from behind the pillow. “I thought it’d be a gradual process, but no, I suppose I must’ve done something unforgivable to constitute you leaving me after such an enjoyable night…”

“I’m just getting some water, Loki.”

“You’ve done this before,” he whines, peeking just his eyes out from behind the pillow. “A few nights ago, remember? And I ended up falling asleep before you were back and I was alone and cold and—”

“Loki.” You’re back, wrapping your re-discarded shirt behind his neck and cupping his cheek in your palm. “You’re an idiot.”

“How sweet.”

You laugh and lean down to kiss him, pulling the pillow out of his arms as you melt into his chest. “There. I kept my shirt off and came back to bed. Happy?”

He lifts you slightly, pushing you to the side and curling his arms around you to hold you to his chest without hurting your swollen baby bump.

“Very.” A finger under the chin tips your head up and your mouths meet, slow and lazy. “Is this alright?”

“Perfect,” you mumble, searching for his lips again.

“You’re comfortable? I don’t want to hurt the—”

“I’m fine, Loki, don’t worry.” Chuckling at the genuine concern in his voice, you kiss him a couple more times…y’know, just to be sure.

He hums, low in his throat, practically a purr and you know he’s in heaven. His hand inches towards you as you watch, waiting to see if he’ll just do it or keep pretending like you’re not noticing—

“You’re not being very subtle, honey.”

You grab his hand and plant it firmly on your belly.

Loki grins.

“Mine.”

“Yes, dipshit, yours.” You heave a sigh and roll onto your back, tugging Loki onto his side as you do.

He gazes down at you with that stupidly adorable little grin, thumb stroking slowly over your stomach, and he leans down to brush his lips over yours. “You…you are beyond beautiful.”

“Mmhm. Okay, sure.”

Loki blinks. “What is that tone for?”

“What tone?” You grab the blankets and tug them up and over your bare torso, trying to roll onto your side—Loki’s hand on your stomach won’t let you.

“That sarcastic, disbelieving tone.” He frowns and sits up, pointing a finger in your face. “I don’t like that, not one bit.”

“Well, whoop-dee-doo for you.” One good yank and you’ve pulled the covers over your head. “I should’a put my shirt on, thanks a lot.”

“Why, are you cold?” His hand sneaks under the covers to grip onto your breast, squeezing gently. “I can always…warm you up, if you’ll let me.”

You smack his hand away with a groan. “No, sheesh. Maybe in a couple months.”

“Where did this come from?”

The poor guy sounds flabbergasted, honestly, staring down at you as you hide under the covers. Just minutes ago, you were cheerful and playing with him, kissing him and calling his name sweet as honey from your lips, but within seconds dove under the covers and—this is the really surprising part—won’t even let him touch you.

“Was it something I said?” He tries to lift the sheet away from your face, but you hold it tight and nod.

“Ah. Would you be willing to tell me what it was?”

You shake your head at him from under the sheet and he frowns.

“How am I supposed to know—”

The sheet flips down to reveal you scowling up at him, abruptly shutting him up as he raises his hands in defense.

That is the face of a woman you don’t want to upset.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs when you pull the sheet back up, hiding from his adoring gaze. “I’m sorry, my love, for whatever it was I said that upset you.”

“Hmph.” Your middle finger pokes out from the top of the sheets.

Loki resists the urge to roll his eyes. It’s been a while since you had a complete hormonal meltdown, he should’ve known this was bound to happen.

There’s a few things he’s learned not to bring up, like, at all with your pregnant self, unless he wants to be faced with a sobbing wreck or raging half-devil of a wife.

Your appearance is number two on the list, as difficult as that is for Loki to accept.

In his mind, he’s never seen you looking more ethereal or alive and beautiful as you are while pregnant with his child. Your belly round, your breasts full, face filled with light and eyes positively sparkling with excitement, you’re a dream in and of yourself in this state.

You, on the other hand, seem to believe you’ve taken on the appearance of a whale and elephant hybrid. There’s no convincing you otherwise, and Loki has to accept that, though he always tries to tell you differently (only making matters worse).

But Loki just called you beautiful—he couldn’t help it.

Tears gather in your eyes as you hide under the sheet, wishing Loki would go away and let you be disgusting in peace.

It’s bad enough he’s been through all your sicknesses with you, rubbing your back with a cool hand whenever you vomit into the toilet, cleaning up your snot-filled tissues, letting you drool all over his leather shirts whenever you fall asleep on him.

Just thinking about it makes you start sniffling, tears welling in your eyes and you hold the sheet tighter over your head, dreading the moment Loki hears you crying.

The crying is gross, too. You hate how easily you cry these days—the other night Loki offered you a foot rub and you burst into tears, unable to believe that he, Loki, a god, a prince, a king, would ever actually stoop low enough to touch your feet.

The tears were also partially because you really, really wanted a foot rub—those swollen ankles hurt like a bitch.

You can feel a tear sliding down your cheek, which only brings a new wave of them to your eyes as you see Loki’s silhouette just sitting there next to you, waiting for you to come out.

He’s picking at the comforter of the bed, humming quietly to himself and leaning back on his hands.

That little shit. Why does he always look so good??

You sniff loudly, just to see what he does.

“Come out from there,” he sighs, rubbing a hand up and down your thigh. “Come out here and talk to me, I want to listen to you.”

Another shake of your head and this time you don’t even know why you’re being so stubborn.

Loki sighs again, his head dropping back before he rolls over to hold himself over you. He places his hands on either side of your face, smoothing the sheet you’re hiding under tight over your face, and then he kisses you.

His lips are perfectly warm right now, even with a layer of fabric keeping your skin from touching, and you can’t help but not fight when he starts carefully pulling the sheet away from your face.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs again once he sees your tearstained face. “Is this��because I called you beautiful?”

The tears well up again and you nod, afraid to open your mouth and start sobbing.

“I can’t apologise for that,” he gently explains, stroking his thumb over your cheek. “I truly believe that you are beautiful, simply…indescribable.”

“Oh, shut up,” you whisper hoarsely, pulling the sheet up to your teary eyes.

“No.” He smiles and tugs the sheet away again. “I love you, my wife, my beautiful, pregnant wife, with all your drool and vomit and swollen ankles. I wouldn’t trade any of that for anything else in this universe.”

“Fuckin’ sweet talker,” you mutter, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. “Damn silvertongue, always making me an emotional mess.”

He smiles at you with a little shrug, brushing away one last tear with the pad of his thumb. “Tell me what you need from me. I want to help you, my love.”

You let out a long breath through pursed lips, staring up at your husband as you regain control of your tear ducts—nearly impossible, but hey, you try.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he smiles, long eyelashes blinking beautifully as his eyes crinkle at the edges. “Do you want to, um…”

Leaning back against the headboard, he holds his arms out with a sheepish little grin.

“Of course, idiot.”

“There you go calling me an idiot again,” he sighs, immediately wrapping his arms around your chest when you clamber over to settle yourself between his legs. “You should be kinder to your poor husband, don’t you think? I did massage your feet, after all.”

Your elbow lands under his ribs and all the breath in his lungs leaves him in one big oof.

“You offered, dipshit.”

“…true.”

“You’re the worst.” Your head lolls back against his shoulder and you close your eyes, Loki’s scent making your head spin.

Peppermint, rainy forests, leather…

“I want mint chocolate chip ice cream,” you announce, head shooting off his shoulder just as he was starting to plant soft kisses along your jaw. “You smell like peppermint, I need peppermint, Loki, quick.”

“But we just got comfortable—”

“Magic it.” You snap your fingers a couple times, waving your hands around in front of you. “Poof. Ice cream. Or a candy cane. Or just a damn mint, c’mon, I just want peppermint!”

Loki sighs again and drops his head back against the headboard. “Do you have any idea how draining it is to pull food from thin air, my love?”

You twist around to gawk at him. “Uh…no, no, I don’t.”

“Right. Human.”

Your loving husband is too good to you, really; he waves his hands around, snaps his fingers in your face a few times just to make you giggle, putting on a show just to appease your demands.

“Peppermint ice cream.” The bowl materialises in his hand in a literal poof of green smoke, most likely unnecessary, and he brings it in front of you with a dramatic swipe of his arm. “For the pregnant woman with an idiot husband.”

“Who, me?” You smile and reach up to grab his jaw, tugging him down and pressing a sweet kiss to his chin. “Uh, my husband’s incredible, I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

Heat rushes to Loki’s face and he ducks his head, blushing harder when you poke a finger into his cheek with a laugh.

“You’re an idiot, my love.”

“Hey.” The spoonful of ice cream leaves your lips with a pout. “Be kinder to your poor wife, I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, are you?” He squeezes your waist, bringing a shout of laughter from you. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“Shut up before I make you give me a foot rub again.

Stealing your spoon and taking a big heap of ice cream, he hums around the bite, raising his eyebrows at you. “I’ll be more than happy to rub any part of you, darling, you know this.”

“I hate you, dipshit.”

“Dipshit. I think I preferred idiot.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

hope you enjoyed, feel free to send me ideas!

loki tags: @bluediamond007 @himitoshi @drakesfiance @destiel1597 @dangertoozmanykids101 @archy3001 @jcalpha1 @yzssie @skullvieplu @forthesnakeofdragons @skulliebythesea @wegingerangelica @storiesfrommirkwood @agarwaeneth @adaliamalfoy @laurfangirl424 @paradisaicsam @fitzsimmons-is-forever @ladylokimischief @katelinwrites @tarynkauai @polaristrange @loavesofmeat @canadian-ravenpuff-multishipper @lou-makes-me-strong @holyn0vak @chocolatealmondmillk @swtnrholland @kenzieam @jessiejunebug  @catticas @the-republic-and-face-of-texas @doralupin01 @whitewitchdown @atomiccharmer @falconfeather23435 @babygirlicecream @avengrcs @vethrvolnir2 @bookgirlunicorn @wabisabigrl @myhealingstar @khaleesi-marvel @ei77777 @spacecrumbs @scarlettghost13 @rocks-are-pretty-odd @confessionsofastrugglingteen @easilydistractedwriter @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @fluffyllamaswearinghats @milktearose @lcyouinhell @h0tshotholland @dontmesswithmemundane @southsidesarcasticwriter @helnik-s @lilith-akemi @fire-in-her-veinz @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt @mischievousbellerina @kcd15 @mellowgirl01 @lokislilcaribbeanprincess @allthingzhiddleston @scorpionchild81 @lokixme @vast-ish @blue-automne @galaxycharmed @devilbat @kangaroobunny @end-up-well @planetariumx @sarcsep @mrfandomtastic @amaru163 @im-way-too-many-fandoms @caswinchester2000 @kybaeza @wester-than-west @vintagesunshinebitch @adefectivedetective @poetic-nikolai @moonduhsted

[torivmod]

Aquarius New Moon ♒️

-January 24th 2020-

If you were looking for a better time to let any baggage go, it’s today. This month, the New Moon in Aquarius is urging us to ask “What am I working towards” “Am I making myself proud?” “What/who can I give thanks to that has made the climb so easy for me.” This first step is the key to reaching a state of understanding to the current world around you. These are gifts handed down from your ancestors to help achieve something better in your own personal timeline. And this is the time our Skills really shine because we are put in an environment of change. Aquarius is a sign of the future, all types of physical ways of seeing energies and technology, so this New Moon gives us a whole makeover on our relationship with the collective consciousness.

More specifically this Aquarius New Moon is asking us to look at our relationship with the past in order to reconcile the future. Whatever we’ve been holding on to our Ancestors are looking at us like “But you have so much to be complaining about how hard your life is” They never imagined you’d turn out so advanced and futuristic with opportunities they never got to experience. They are proud. These gifts from our ancestors set the stage for what we are meant to continue in this lifetime. These gifts that they have laid out are significant to getting past this New Moon with Flying colors.

Your Moon sign and Maybe even Rising Sign can give a better clue as to what to look for:

Aries Moon/Rising: This new Moon might be showing you that you might not be addressing the right gifts for yourself something is making it hard to reach your own uniqueness due to, knowing Aries, probably fighting for the wrong thing. Remember that sometimes we fight for things that are just hard to let go of. Often due to some hurt coming back and or fear of losing something in the process, whatever it is this new Moon is here to tell you to put your focus back on yourself, and give yourself and your issues some space to work out anything you’ve been putting off, close those mental tabs and take yourself a little more serious. this way you come back to the realization that you are original no matter what you do you fiery demons...

Taurus Moon/Rising: With the square to Uranus this new Moon is urging you to really assess your Mental well being. Right now the Taurus energy is going through major uprooting and in order to compensate with it, we gotta work with the erratic energy we’re given even if it’s scary for us. We’re used to a certain kind of pleasure and stability and this month the Moon is throwing us into our own past and testing us to see if we really learned anything. The way to get out of it is by using the skills we’ve learned so far to help ourselves. We’re on our own so this means we must basically drop some stuff and cut out things that are not good for our future. You can be very self sufficient in the most dire of times, nows the time to use that sense...

Gemini Moon/Rising: Your ancestors have been watching you basically ignore them and this month they are putting people in your life to try to get you back to yourself. Not because you have been bad but because you have strayed a bit off the path that’s yours. As a Gemini you’re used to straying off but this month the Moon is urging you to return to your personal path, return to your center. “What was I doing before that whole mess?” You may ask yourself suddenly realizing you went on over a dozen tangents. To really find your originality just remember your personal code...

Cancer Moon/Rising: Poor cancer Moon this is not the best time for you, this is the time when you feel the least yourself but it’s good because this is the time you use to evaluate your emotional well being and consider whether it’s time to let go of certain energies or keep them (at your own risk). But this month you have been turning a blind eye to some fact in order to continue feeing like you’re in control. The Moon is asking you to accept it. Accept whatever’s been burdening you and realize that your originality comes from this acceptance, no one else can take facts and implement them in their life like you do, it’s time to accept and change this is your gift...

Leo Moon/Rising: drop the sword honey, it’s not your season. This month the Moon is asking for you total surrender, this is a time to listen and ask yourself some questions. Evaluate yourself, what are you doing? and what are you gonna do about it? Where do I need work? And How can I change for the sake of my goals? As a Leo Moon, much like the Taurus Moon you must evaluate for the sake of, “Is this really what’s gonna make me happy?” The world is changing and so does the idea that we need to have the attention of everyone, just remember that your originality stems from the pursuit of creativity, so how do you use this power for the benefit of Other’s?

Virgo Moon/Rising: it’s a learning period for you Virgo Moon, with the Moon in the 6th house’s 6th House, this period is a whole new period of cleanliness. There’s like so much to clean, “why is this world such a mess right now?” Because everyone else fucked it up, sorry Virgo... this month the Moon is asking you to really buckle down on your stances. There may be consequences where your beliefs or sanity are tested but you got it, this month is just a refresher on the idea that you have the ability to make it through the storm. (The trine with Uranus might help), maybe because it’ll be something that at this point you’re kinda used to. Good job Virgo

Libra Moon/Rising: Libra you always got a lot of vague answers, but this month the Moon is urging you to make the decisions, deal with your karma and make sure you deal with it right. This New Moon is pushing us out of our comfort zone, not because we want to but because we need to. If you have been the type of Libra to be complacent and just play devils advocate while you let others figure it out, this is not a good time for you. The stars are putting you in situations where you have the answers but the question is will you be spontaneous enough to pick a choice. You’d be more aesthetically pleasing if you just choose a god damn option.

Scorpio Moon/Rising: I know the Uranus opposition might make you feel like reality is going crazy but that’s no reason to become complacent with life. Sometimes we gotta get out there and get organized. Even if our own sense of stability seems like it’s wiggling a bit. This month the New Moon is asking us to take things one at a time, while the world is going from one thing to another (and we are bad at going from one thing to another without letting go) The universe will put situations forth where it would be best to slow our world down so we can analyze our “mess” and we can understand better our issues.

Sagittarius Moon/Rising: Get ready for a huge change of pace, with Mars sextiling in Sagittarius we have a lot of fire on your side ready to change whatever direction you were going. This New Moon the universe will place situations that test out your sense of adventure, is what you’re hoping for still on your mind. Sometimes things in our lives change and we have no say and no power to change it back, and we are put on a standstill asking ourselves, “Welp, that road’s fucked up, gotta turn back and regroup” and if you feel like the work you put in now makes you feel like it was a waste, remember that every change we are met with is a door to an even better reward if we trust in the ever changing world. Just know something good always comes after any personal shake up.

Capricorn Moon/Rising: It’s time to let it go! (Thanks Elsa) if the recent Capricorn conjunction wasn’t clear enough, your way of living is kinda outdated (not in an insult kind of way, many talk about the resurrection of the Devine Feminine, so it felt fitting) this New Moon is asking you specifically to step outside of your box for a second and really feel the energy that comes from allowing new energy to flow in. Whatever box you came out of is too cramped for you. The very least you can do is find another box. Your originality has always come from the idea that no one can take control of this place except for you, but what happens when you let others take the lead? or watch yourself step out of the common instructions and experiment? Nows the time to get that new box to play Commander in.

Aquarius Moon/Rising: Happy Lunar Return! Being your season, it’s fitting that the New Moon would ask you to really feel out your emotions, it’s not always easy to feel those tears aching as only one drop comes out and your tear ducts are stinging from lack of use. Really take this time and understand that you feel the energies around you the most from an analytical perspective. You may feel like it’s a silly thing to cry things out or get angry at things but the point is to accept that you have these feelings, no one understands these emotions at a high analytical rate than you do. The universe will place situations where you are being asked to love respect and accept your feelings and emotional world.

Pisces Moon/Rising: this month the Moon is asking you to remember yourself, you may have been escaping your problems as usual but that has happened and gone and in order to take in this energy we are being asked to come back, I’m sure the Capricorn energy has Neptune in Pisces feeling rather serious, and in doing so has made Pisces energy sorta Jello like, and Fish can’t really swim in Jello as far as I know, so this month, thaw (i think) yourself out and come back to new waters, the old waters were tainted with bone meal... maybe you strayed too far from familiar waters? Maybe you got trapped in someone’s fish bowl? Maybe someone has you hostage in a plastic bag and it feels like they keep shaking you, whatever the cause of unhappiness, remember you have the power to walk away and find something that is more filling for you, your originality comes from this idea that the world and its emotions are a mess but you don’t have to be stuck with them.

Remember to look at your past to give you hints about your future. Aquarius is supposed to be the garden at the end of the path, and whatever you find here has been built from your own understanding of the world, and it can change at any moment.

[iwoulddieforkeanureeves]

Fortune Favors the Kind (John Wick x Reader)

This is like a Mentor!John x Young!Reader, requested by @depressed-comics

You never thought you'd be stuck under the thumb of the Russian Mafia, but your father made some pretty bad decisions, and had used you as collateral to try to spare his own life. So they took you when you were young, and had been training you ever since, trying to make you an assassin that could rival that of the Baba Yaga. They took everything from you, you had no semblance of a normal life, you were stripped of your empathy and emotions for others. The only things you could ever think about were death and destruction.

Those who had trained you in combat, weapons, and espionage had deemed you fit to start. It was only fitting that your first mission began on your eighteenth birthday. Most eighteen year olds would be hanging out with their friends, maybe getting a tattoo, not using the guise of an escort to assassinate a high profile drug lord with debts to the Mafia. Once you had gotten him alone in his room and put a bullet in his head, something clicked as you watched the life drain from his eyes. Your training failed you as you lingered rather than flee the scene. You had never killed anyone before. All of those years of being told to not feel anything, you couldn't help but let emotion wash over you as his blood began to seep into the bedsheets. Shock gripped you as a tear rolled down your check and you gasped as you heard the door crash behind you, before you could react two burly guards grabbed you roughly. You were still in a haze as you began to struggle meekly against the guards, with one swift motion one of them hit you in the temple with his pistol and your consciousness faded.

~

You awoke hours later, your head was pounding and you could feel that you were tied down to a chair. There was duct tape covering your mouth. You slowly opened your eyes, blinking to adjust them to the light. There was a single bulb above you, illuminating your figure. You could see the rough outlines of men that loomed just out of the light. Your training kicked in as you began counting silhouettes and formulating a plan to get out. One of the men stepped forward, you were confused as you realized he was one of the higher-ups in the Mafia's chain. Viggo's eldest son.

He shook his head softly as he approached you, "Oh little белладонна, you had so much promise..." He ran his hand down your face, before gripping your jaw hard, "But you showed weakness, you know my father will not be happy." He said, his tone still soft. "You will be punished."

You cursed inwardly, this must have been some test, and you had failed. Your mind was racing, you meant nothing to these people, so your punishment would most likely be torture or death. Or both. You inhaled sharply as another figure came out of the shadows and slapped you harshly across the face, and another came with a knife to slash you across your collarbone. You dug your nails into the wood of the chair as you saw the brother pull out a revolver, you were sure this was the end. But before he could raise the gun to you, you saw the door to the room fly open as a tall looming man came in, using the body of a guard as a human shield as he began mowing down the men in the room. Within an instant you recognized him, the Baba Yaga himself. Your heart was beating a mile a minute as you heard the sounds of bullets flying above you. You began trying to free yourself from your bonds as you prayed he wouldn't kill you too.

~

When John was infiltrating the safe house Iosef was being kept in, he did not expect to find a young girl strapped down to a chair being interrogated by one of the Tarasov children. He began taking down the men in the room, he didn't have time to reload as he was being approached by more guards, so he threw his weapon, smacking a man right between his eyes and sending him to the ground. He began fighting hand to hand. He observed his opponents and his surroundings. He was slightly outnumbered, there were still four men and the brother, and he had already been worn out. He was reminded by the dull pain in his lower abdomen as he began deflecting punches and flipping men on their backs.

He kept this on for a while, but he felt he was getting into a nasty situation, as he was being pinned to the ground with a knife dangerously close to him. Before he even realized what was happening, the scared little girl from before came back into action. You let out a yell as you jumped up, flipping both you and the chair back onto one of the guards, shattering the wood and freeing your limbs. Lightning fast after you had pulled that maneuver, you had grabbed a gun from the ground. The man who had John pinned looked behind him could only see the barrel of your pistol before you shot him. You slowly stood up and kicked the man's body off of John's.

John sat up and looked at you, then back to the corpse that had been a threat to his life just moments earlier. He looked back up at you, and just stared for a moment. You were so young, he definitely pegged you as a hostage of some sort, let alone someone with training. The thought of it made him angry, you were just a kid. No child should have to live the life of an assassin. John wordlessly stood up and brushed the dirt off of himself. "We should get out of here." He stated simply, and began walking towards the door. "I'm John, by the way." He grunted.

You followed. "(Y/N)." You said softly, still a bit in awe that you were spared by the greatest assassin you'd ever heard of. You knew you should fear him, but you trusted him. After all, without him you'd probably be dead in a ditch. You took the lead in guiding you and John out of the safehouse after he had killed Iosef. You knew the layout of the building incredibly well, as this was where most of your training took place.

~

You were sitting in the passenger seat of John's car now, you started silently ahead as he put the car into gear and began driving. Before long, he was the first to break the silence. "Why were you down there?" He asked, his voice gravely and rough but his tone was soft and inquisitive.

You looked at him before looking back down at your feet. "They were training me to be the perfect assassin, but when they sent me out on a mission I showed emotion and didn't live up to their expectations." You explained, your voice barely above a whisper as you stared out of the window.

John gripped the steering wheel, "You're just a child." He said, his voice becoming more strained, "Why were you down there, before that mission?" He looked at you, besides the large gash on your chest, you looked like an average teenage girl. He couldn't imagine how you had gotten ties to one of the deepest rings of the Mafia. The same one he was in before he had went into retirement.

You began to shake as you thought of your despicable excuse for a father, tears clouding up your vision. "My father, he..." you paused, taking a deep breath to steady yourself, "He has his debts, and instead of fixing them himself he decided to pawn my life to save his own. But they just killed him anyways." You let out a dry laugh, running your fingers through your hair.

John felt even more angry than before, how could anyone give away their own flesh and blood? Let alone give them right into the hands of a ruthless crime organization. "It sounds like he deserved it." John mumbled, looking out at the road ahead of him. His mind began to wander as you didn't speak up again. He thought of Helen, his heart sank as he imagined her smiling face. They had always talked about having children together, and she had always wanted a little girl. He couldn't imagine just throwing away something like that. John pulled up to his home, and put the car into park.

He got out and opened your door for you, "Let's get you cleaned up."

~

You winced as John gingerly dabbed antiseptic onto the large gash across your chest. It was strange seeing this man who had a reputation for being incredibly deadly and focused be so gentle and kind. "I'm sorry, I know it hurts." He said, continuing to clean the wound.

You looked around, seeing the empty dog crate and all of the photos of John and Helen together, but yet the house was eerily quiet. You had heard of John leaving the business, and about his wife. You looked back down at him as his eyes were focused on your wounds, you felt so bad that everything had been taken from him. His voice broke your train of thought, "(Y/N), do you have any other family?" He asked as he stood up, finished with your first aid.

He knew the answer before you even said it, no. He knew looking at you that you were like him, no more family, everyone who loved you was long gone by now. He knew what he had to do, what Helen would've wanted him to do. "You can stay with me, if you'd like." He offered.

You were stunned, you had never been treated with as much kindness as John was giving you right now. "Seriously?" You asked meekly, and he nodded. You couldn't help but smile, "That'd be really kind, thank you John." You said.

John smiled and nodded. He never thought he'd be anyone's mentor, or father, or anything of the sort. But he knew he had to help you, he didn't want to world to keep screwing innocent people over. He was going to help you, and take you under his wing, whether it be trying his best to give you a normal life, or teaching you everything he knows about life as an underground assassin. He would do it, he finally had a chance to create something positive out of all the shitty things fate had thrown at him. To do something that would make Helen proud.

Fortune may favor the bold, fortune may favor the brave, but it also occasionally favors the kind.

Part 2: https://iwoulddieforkeanureeves.tumblr.com/post/185667051574/after-john-finished-up-his-business-with-the

[myheroaizawashota]

Me again!! Can't help it. Your writing's too damn good. Could you please do Beautiful by Bazzi ft Camila Cabello with Toshinori Yagi. Like maybe him and reader seeing each other after not seeing each other for years and he just has that internal moment of 'Shit! I'm still in love with her' I think this would also be cute

[First of all, thank you so much! I’m glad you like the writing so much! Second of all Y-E- GOD DAMN FUCKING - S. I love me a good Yagi moment and this is so freaking cute! Sorry if this a bit anticlimactic! I’m in the midst of being sick so my brain is a little clouded...I kinda slept through yesterday that’s why this bad boy is a day late....whoops!! I hope you still like it!]

Smoke and debris began to rise through the streets of the city as Toshinoris body bounced across the pavement below. Being weaker these days made maintaining his title as the symbol of peace a struggle. With a tremble he managed to push his way back to his feet, spitting the swell of blood that pooled in his mouth at the ground. His never wavering smile beginning to crack as the villain chipped away at what little strength he had left, “I haven’t had to put up a fight this good in a long time!” He bellowed trying to play down the severity of the situation at hand. With a bit of a sway from his bodys strain, he struggled to maintain the image he was sworn to uphold as he pulled his fist back in preparation to brawl. His legs bent at the knees as he readied himself to lung once more into the action of battle. “Enough games you newbie! Let’s finish this!”

Running low on power, the once great pro new this punch would be the last he had...it was a fifty-fifty shot. Throwing this one punch could entirely use the remainder of his energy, forcing him to drop the facade that was All Might these days. Knowing that out come would have a stronger effect on the world, the tiring pro found himself at a cross road. If he continued to fight this world would possibly loose the security it needed. Though if he stood by and watched, innocent lives could be at risk and he couldn’t let that happen. One smash was all it would take. Both to end his career and drop the villain. Prepared to fight, Toshinori channeled the remaining energy he had into his fist, the ever present smile on his lips fading as he threw himself full force towards the villain. His body tensed when his fist connected with empty air, the villains body falling to the ground without even tasting the hero’s fist. Did the villain drop of exhaustion? No...someone else stopped him. “Reckless as ever I see Toshinori...”

His heart stopped in his chest, the sound of that voice lulling his mind into a state of nostalgia. It’d been years since he heard that tone, but he new it anywhere. Lovestruck, his eyes took in your shape as you stood over the newly defeated thug. You were just as beautiful as he remembered. “I could say the same to you. That was a pretty bold stunt you just pulled. You could have very easily been caught in the cross fire of that punch you know.”

You gave a soft scoff, eyes soft as they fell on the man you once knew. “I think I can handle myself when it comes to you...”

His expression laid neutral as the smile on his mouth began to vanish and flatten out, his body moving closer to yours. He could tell your tone was still unhappy with him. He hoped three years time would be enough for you to mellow and forgive him....but he was seemingly wrong. As he watched you clean up the remainder of his sloppy battle he couldn’t help the twinge of heartache that rippled through his chest. You were still the most beautiful thing his eyes he’d ever laid on. It killed him to see you look so distanced. If he was being one hundred percent truthful, the look you gave him hurt more than any physical pain his body was in right now. He needed a moment with you alone, he needed to talk to you even if just for a minute. Moving just a bit more sluggish now, he reached one of those big palms of his out, laying it casually against your shoulder. “Mind if i steal you away for a moment?”

Sensibly making sure the cops could handle the remainder of the defused situation, you agreed and followed toshinori away from the battle field. It was an awkward walk out of sight of public eye. You were both uncharacteristically silent as you walked along, you giving a sigh when you were far enough away from all others. “What the hell are you doing fighting like that?...how are you even holding that form right now Yagi?! You could have been seriously hurt, or worse. You’re lucky I stepped in when i did!”

Cringing at the harshness in your voice, the sturdy hero let his eyes cast down to the ground. It wasn’t long after your mention that the others body fell from his muscled appearance, his body shaking as he frantically coughed, blood pouring down the sides of his mouth as he struggled to hold himself up. “I don’t see you for three years and that’s how you say hi?”

Before you’re mind had time to react, you’re body was along side his trying to hold him up. How could he be making jokes at a time like this. “Well maybe if i would have seen you under different circumstances Yagi i wouldn’t be so upset! I know what you were planning on doing out there...”

Those thin bony lips of his tugged down into a frown as those hallowed out blue eyes held yours. He forgot just how well you used to know him. Fighting to push himself on to his own two feet, Toshinori let a grunt fall out of his mouth “well then I’m glad you saved my rear out there....I owe you..”

Your eyes melted under those piercing blue eyes of his. It was cruel and unusual punishment for the other to make eye contact with you the way he did. You missed being under his gaze like this, but seeing him in this weakened form angered you. Remembering the way he lied to you for so long made it hard to look at him this way. Clearing your throat your hands nervously moved to tuck your hair behind your ear “You owe me for a multitude of things Yagi...don’t think just because it’s been three years that I’m not still mad at you...”

“Well don’t think just because you’re still mad at me that i don’t still love you!” He all but snapped back, immediately regretting the words as soon as they passed through his lips. The look on your face disintegrated the remainder his heart. Giving a conquered sigh, the skeleton of a man let his wavering gaze hold you once more. “I still love you....that hasn’t changed. You’re still the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever seen and there’s not a day that goes by that I’m not sorry for what I did Y/N...”

His words ripped right through you like a freight train leaving you to breathless as you stood. God damnit why did he have to be so good with words! Turning your head away from his, your teeth grit together as you tried to hold in the tears that furiously fought to break past your tear ducts. “It’s ridiculous...you can say something incredibly sweet...” you paused, your breathing struggling to maintain an even pace as you violently rubbed at your eyes “and my heart still races because as much as I’m furious at you i still love you too!....why did you have to lie to me.”

He could see the tears pricking at the edges of your eyes, immediately he moving to wrap his arms tightly around your body. While you had every right to cry in this moment, it still hurt him to know he caused you all this pain. Why did he lie? He let you believe for an entire year that he and all might were two different people....though in his defense sometimes it felt that way. Holding your head close to his chest, he let your warm tears soak through the fabric of his loosely hanging white t shirt “i don’t know...i could give you a million reasons why I did the things I did, but it wouldn’t justify my actions in the end...I know what I did was wrong Y/N...but I wanna fix it. Please. Let me take you home and make this up to you.”

His words were the just the tipping point your emotions needed, they forcing the tears to rush down your face as you sobbed into his chest. You wanted to forgive him and you wanted to wake up in the mornings surrounded by his love again. You wanted to fall asleep knowing you were safe in his arms....but you were still so hurt how could you trust him after that? Shoving him away gently you rubbed at your eyes, attempting to hold yourself strong. “I need time to think this all over Yagi...I love you so much....I never stopped loving you, but i need to do some searching before i can decide if i can trust you again...”

Unwillingly you wriggled from his arms and began walking away from the other. It left him empty to watch you walking away for a second time. He couldn’t do it. Not again. He couldn’t watch you walk out of his life for a second time. He made his mistakes by not following you the first time, he wasn’t about to make the same mistake again. His fingers reached out and wrapped around you wrist, he gently tugging you back against his chest, tears bubbling in his own eyes “walking away isn’t going to fix this...please don’t take you’re beautiful face from me again. You want to decide if you can trust me that’s fine, but decide with me. Give me the chance to prove to you I won’t pull the same dumb stunt i did three years ago...”

The tears now shaking your body, you collapsed yourself into his chest. He held you tightly as you cried for a moment, he eventually angling your chin up his lips moving to press softly against yours. You missed his lips, you missed his face you missed his everything. Maybe giving him one last chance wouldn’t be the worst idea you’ve had. Leaning back into the kiss you sighed when the other broke it, a thin index finger tracing along the side of his face “one chance toshinori. Don’t make me regret this.”

[slutfordeacy-mazello]

Word Count: 3,466 Note: An anon wanted anything deacy and I was already writing this,,,about to scrap it, but i was like nah i can just fix it up uwu ((literally every anon wants joe or deacy things tho lmao it’s cool I love them)) anyways i hope u enjoy owo

“You’re joking, aren’t you?” Freddie laughed.

“What? Why would I be joking?” You frowned.

“John. John Deacon. Deacy?”

“Yes? What of it?” You furrowed your brows.

“He just doesn’t seem like your type, darling. You’ve only ever dated bad boys and well…you’ve met John. He’s the complete opposite.” Freddie explained.

“That’s a good thing! Name one guy I’ve dated that wasn’t abusive in one way or another.” You huffed. “And besides, I think he would be really good for me. I need to get myself back on track.”

“Well…you two would be a good couple. Alright. I’ll help you out. Not like I wouldn’t have anyway.” He agreed.

“Oh my God, thank you, Fred. I love you!”

“I know, I know. I’m the greatest.”

You got up and hugged him tightly, when suddenly he gasped and pushed you away, wide-eyed.

“Darling, I have the perfect idea! Last minute party!” He exclaimed. “This is going to be so perfect, and who else to be your matchmaker none other than your nearest and dearest friend.”

“Oh, Fred, you are such a drama queen.” You smiled. “And how exactly are you going to plan this in such a short notice?”

“Leave it to me, love, I’ll have you and John hooked up in no time.”

Later that afternoon, after Freddie had Paul (blegh) invite a few people, Roger had gathered a few more, mainly groupies, from bars and a few little venues he hit, which weren’t very full midday. The band was staying in a large hotel suite, it was basically two different mini apartments conjoined by a little closet. It was very odd to have in a suite, especially considering how elegant it all was and then…there’s a little, musty crawl space that conjoins to huge foyers. You, Freddie, and Brian were staying in one side, whereas John and Roger were staying in the other. You were hoping that after tonight, Brian or Fred would trade with Deacy. He’s actually told you that he doesn’t like sharing a hotel with Roger because “they just don’t make the walls thick enough”. A new girl every night gets quite annoying. While Roger, Brian, and Deacy were out getting party refreshments, you and Freddie were cleaning the conjoined rooms even more so than room service did. You stumbled into John’s room to “clean”, but you were really just snooping. You crept in and turned on the light, just to reveal the neatest room out of the 5 of you. His bed was made like no ones ever slept in it and the only clutter was the scattered pieces of loose-leaf paper and notebooks, which were also neatly stacked and set aside to the corner of the nightstand. You spun around and peered out of the doorway to check the area and see if the coast is clear. You crept back over towards his bed There was scribbled over drawing of a person, it wasn’t very good, but at the very least you could tell it was a silhouette of a female.

‘I didn’t know John liked drawing.’ You thought.

Next to it, you saw a little note in the corner of the tattered piece of paper that said “for my love” but there was a jagged line drawn through it. Your eyes practically bulged out of your head in shock as you quickly and hectically put everything back the way you found it. Speeding out of the room, you found Freddie in the kitchen wiping down the table, and slapped the rag out of his hand.

“What the hell—“

“Freddie! Has John told you about a song he’s been working on recently?” You sputtered.

“Um, not that I can recall, why?”

“Because I just went to clean his room and I saw something—possibly a song—that he had been writing!” You frantically screamed. “It said something like…’for my love’ but it was all scratched out!”

Freddie pressed his fingers to his lips and began to think.

“Fred—“

He shushed you and sank back into deep thought.

“Okay, okay, well…if it’s about you then that’s a very good sign, don’t you think?”

“Freddie!”

“Look, you can’t control this type of thing! I may be the best you can get but I’m not Jesus. You just have to try hard and hope for the best.”

You sighed and groaned, throwing your face in your hands. “You are NO help.”

“Oh, don’t act like that. Deacy tells you everything. If he hasn’t told you about him liking someone then it’s most likely you, dear.” He persuaded. You looked up and nodded your head.

“Okay…yeah. Yeah, you’re right, Fred. We tell each other everything.”

“I know, darling.” He agreed. “Now, do you think this place is clean enough?”

“Yeah, we did a pretty good job.” You sniffled and laughed. Freddie clapped his hands and rose from the dining room chair.

“Then, (Y/N), if you’ll come with me.” He smirked. “We have a makeover to do.”

Freddie pulled you by your hand, leading you into his room. He swung his door open and pushed your shoulders down, making you plop into a suede armchair with accessories and articles of clothing draping off of it. You looked and sighed,

“Fred, you didn’t even clean your room, what the hell?”

“Well it’s not like the whole party is going to take place in here.” He sassily

“You made me clean every other room!”

“Irrelevant. Close your eyes I’m doing your makeup.” He snapped.

You scoffed. “Freddie, I can do it myself.”

“Not like I can, darling. Now hush, I’m trying to make sense of your emotional aura.”

“What?”

“I’m feeling like you’re a brights type.”

Freddie roughly powdered on the pastel blue colored shadow, and glided a thin brush along your upper lash line and mid eyelid. During the seventies the twiggy look was very pronounced in makeup trends. The vivid color eyeshadow, usually a primary, the outrageous lash length, and not to forget the eyeliner. The sharp cat eye connected to the slick black line across your lid reaching your tear duct. Freddie patted your cheeks and chuckled.

“Beautiful, love!” He exclaimed, pinching his fingers together and outwardly throwing them along with his whole arm after giving them a loud exaggerated kiss.

“You are outrageous, Freddie.”

He rolled his eyes and started playing with your hair.

“(Y/N), do you have a curler with you?”

“Yeah, do you want me to grab it?”

“No, no, I can go get it. You just sit tight I’ll be right back.”

Freddie wandered off into your bedroom. He eyed the curling wand sitting on your dresser next to the clutter of makeup and perfumes. Aside from all the irrelevant things, he was looking to see if you had something of much more personal value. A diary perhaps. Freddie had his plan all worked out in his head, and this was the perfect time to get any dirt he could before he carried on.

“Freddie? What are you doing?” You shouted from the other room.

He was on his hands and knees with his head under your bed. When you startled him, he jolted up and knocked his head on the mattress frame.

“Bitch.” He hissed under his breath at the pain.  “J-just looking for your thingy, (Y/N)!”

“Okay, well while you’re in there open up my suitcase and find something for me!”

He popped up and unzipped your bags, shuffling through your neatly organized clothing stash. Rifling through bell bottoms, fringe tops, bandeaus, and just about every other trend that’s been set, broken, or reincarnated. Freddie was getting irritated that he wasn’t the one to pack your suitcase with clothes he thought were suitable until he pulled out the perfect little one-piece. It held a faded, sparkly light rose hue. It was a sleeveless high neck, with a key hole right above where your cleavage would be. The pant legs were clingy until the top of the knee, then they flared out to cover the wearers feet. Freddie rushed back in with a huge grin on his face.

“What took you so long?” You asked.

“Well, darling, if you told me you had this thing lying around I wouldn’t have had to dig for so long. Now go change.” He threw the jumpsuit on your lap and shooed you out, plugging in the wand.

You crept into the bathroom and stripped down. You slid the outfit over your thighs and sighed to yourself. The sequined, velvety, spandex jumper really clung to your skin. You were worried it was going to be a little too much for this type of party.

“You can do this, (Y/N).” You whispered. “It’s just John. Same ol’ John you’ve been friends with this past year. Same ol’ John you sing with on stage. Same ol’ John.” You inhaled deeply and walked out.

“Okay, how does it look?” You asked worriedly as you slowly pushed the bedroom door open.

“Give me a spin, darling.” Freddie smiled with a twirl of his finger. You awkwardly rotated with a little smile on your face, trying to choke back the laughter. He walked over to you and peered around you.

“Yeah. This will work.”

“What?”

“Darling, your ass is huge in this thing.” He chuckled. You double-took in the mirror and saw that your hips looked much wider than usual. You quickly turned to the side to see that your ass was really popping out of that suede elastic.

“Wow, it never looks like that. I am flat as a board this thing is amazing!”

“And it would be even better on Deacy’s bedroom floor.” Freddie smirked, plopping you back into the chair.

~~~~

After a while, you and Freddie were sitting in his room waiting for the party to start. Brian and John had already gotten back from the stores and bars to set up for the party. From the other room, you heard the door slam shut and a loud greeting escape Roger’s mouth through the thin walls. An array of scattered female chatter could be heard in response and you sighed.

“Ten pounds says Roger’s gonna get laid by midnight?” You smiled.

“20 says 10:30.” Freddie gambled.

“You’re on, Mercury.” You shook hands and turned your heads to a knock on the bedroom door.

“It’s Bri, are you decent?”

“Yes, Brian.” You laughed. He opened the door and saw that you were all done-up.

“Wow, you look different. I’ve never seen you with that much on—“

“—And she looks hot as hell!” Freddie interrupted, snapping at Brian.

You held your hand out to Freddie.

“It’s fine, Bri. I knew what you meant.” You nodded. “Has that party started yet?”

“Yeah, there’s like 20 people here. I was actually coming in here to get you two.”

Just from the other room, you heard a bottle shatter. Brian poked his head out from the open door frame.

“And there’s Roger, already making a mess, I assume.” Freddie raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah…well, you two need to come out soon, you’re missing the whole thing.” He insisted as he shut the door.

“Well, that’s our cue, c’mon, (Y/N).” Freddie sighed as he stood up and brushed himself off. He grabbed a mystery bottle that he kept in his suitcase and shook it up.

“What? What is— anyways…” You sighed and looked down. “I don’t think I can do it, Fred, I’m gonna put normal clothes on and woo John another time.” You cowered.

“Hell no! We did so much, darling, you can’t puss out now! Plus Brian already saw you dressed up it would be weird if you suddenly weren’t wearing it!”

The silence grew a bit. You had slunk into your guilt of wanting to wuss out. Freddie had gone through all this trouble to set you two up. He planned a last minute party, he helped you clean the entire hotel room, and he even got you all dressed up so you can be happy.

“Fred, punch me in the face I feel light headed.”

“I’m about too! Put your big boy pants on, man up, and get your shit together!” He shouted as he twisted you around and slapped your ass as hard as he could.

“Ow!”

“Now let’s go out there and get you some Deacy.” He tightly gripped your shoulders.

You let out a loud exhale as you turned the doorknob, with Fred kicking it open as dramatically as possible from behind you. You started down the long corridor, at the end you could see the shadows of people dancing and standing around. Once you turned a corner your eyes went straight to John. He, of course was talking to a few other women, who were showing a bit more skin than you, and he was laughing along to whatever they were saying and looked genuinely happy. You felt your stomach rise and sink, like you were on a boat,  and went to back up when Freddie bumped square into you and grabbed your arm. You were already embarrassed enough, but Freddie had to draw as much attention to himself as possible, and what a better way to do that than scream,

“Don’t worry, darlings! The party has just arrived!” As he popped open the cork to the unlabeled, shaken up mystery bottle, which sprayed all over the hotels living room onto you and quite a few other party patrons. Everyone cheered as he forced you to come with him to socialize. As he pulled you through the crowd, you locked eyes with John to which you immediately awkwardly smiled at him and waved. You jokingly mouthed ‘help me’. He winked in response and held up his index finger.

“I’m sorry, ladies, but could you excuse me for a second? My friends have finally decided to join the party.” He laughed as he separated himself from the few groupies who were crowding him.

“Hello, (Y/N), Freddie, haven’t seen you two all day.”

“That’s because we were cleaning up after you grubby boys and getting ready, right, (Y/N)?” You turned your head towards Fred and glared at him. That’s a terrible way to help someone seduce another person, calling the flirtee grubby and throwing the flirter under the bus like that? Very very uncool, Fred. You turned your head back around and lightly smiled.

“Yeah, we spent a long time getting ready, Freddie couldn’t find anything to wear and it became this big ordeal. You know how Freddie can be.”

John laughed. Good sign.

“Yeah, well at least you’re—er— you two are out here now.” He stuttered. Another good sign.

The awkward silence grew as fast as the light pink hue across your cheeks from a spontaneous embarrassment eruption.

“Sit tight, you two, I’m getting booze.” Freddie sighed as he walked away, immediately screaming someone’s name and rushing towards them.

“Well, we won’t get those drinks for a while.” John chuckled. You couldn’t help yourself but to burst out into a light laughter. John looked pretty satisfied with himself too.

“So, have you been working on any songs?” You pondered. It was rhetorical, being the cheeky little thing you were, knowing that John rather enjoyed writing songs. You also knew of the scattered papers resting on his nightstand. A possible song to a woman, perhaps.

“Um, no actually. Just messing around with the bass, you know?” He chatted. This small talk was getting you nowhere. Freddie was a little bitch for leaving you in the dust like that to hang out with some groupie he probably doesn’t even know. You nodded your head and directed your pupils downward while John put his hands in his pockets. Just then, think of the devil, Freddie marched back with three glasses, one being a wine glass filled to the brim with red wine. Very sophisticated of you, Fred. Another being a scotch glass filled with something clear that could only be straight vodka or gin, and the last one was another wine glass, sensibly poured, but also wasn’t wine…no telling what could be in there though. He squeezed through a long line of people before he reached you two. John scooted a little closer to you, watching the absolute horror show of Freddie basically juggling three full glasses of alcohol as you two were snickering. Making eye contact with you as he neared, he proffered

“Here you go, darlings.”

He handed John the scotch glass, and you the full glass of wine. He smiled at you and turned to John.

“She likes to keep things classy.”

“Thank you Freddie, for this full glass of…”

“It’s port!” He chimed in. “Rich, dark, and very stain-ful.” He smiled cheekily. He started to walk away as you leaned in to take a sip, being careful not to spill any. Freddie took in a deep sigh and slammed his hip into your ass, sending the contents of the full wine glass onto Johns shirt. You held your hand to your mouth and tried to speak but nothing could come out.

“Oh, (Y/N)! You clumsy bitch! Haha!” Freddie chuckled.

“Coming through, darlings! Two hot, drunk bitches!” He started pushing you two through the crowded hotel room until you reached the coat closet in the front of the conjoined rooms, where he pushed you two into.

“I’ll be out here if you need me!” Freddie shouted. You heard a clatter and something bang against the door. As John extended his arm upward to turn on the little light, you sighed and palmed your face.

“John, I am so sorry about your shirt, I—“

“Oh, no no no. It wasn’t your fault, I know, it’s really quite alright.” He affirmed. “I dont even like this shirt that much anyways, now I have a reason to throw it out.”

“John, you don’t have to lie to me to make me feel better about it.” You reached around him and snatched something off a hanger, with no mind to what it was, and began dabbing his shirt with the mystery article. To no avail of removing or at the very least lightening the stain, you stopped.

“Really! It’s okay, (Y/N).”

You stopped for a second. It got quiet.

“John, we’re still really great friends, right?”

“Of course.”

“And I can tell you anything?”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

“Maybe…I don’t know I’m scared?” You shrugged and turned around. “It’s honestly stupid and embarrassing when I say it out loud, but I’m just kind of…scared.”

“What’s so scary about it?” He inquired.

“I don’t know, the outcome? Maybe? If I was a fortune teller this would all just be so much easier!” You chuckled. “Well, there’s no point in not telling you now so I’m just gonna say it.” You huffed. You twisted back around and rolled your eyes. “John, I like you. I like you a lot.”

“Well—“

“And I know that’s a lot to take in, especially under these circumstances…”

“I—“

“And I feel like you’ll think this whole thing is just a big set up and I mean technically—“

“(Y/N). You worry too much.” He consoled. “I like you a lot too, I’ve had this huge crush on you since Freddie introduced you to us. Since the first time we sang together in that empty studio. Since the first night we stayed up outside and got absolutely shit faced and talked for hours. And besides, I knew. Freddie helped me set this thing up actually. I knew it was a long shot, but it worked and I didn’t even have to—“

“Wait what? Freddie was helping me out. He has been since this morning.”

“Really? Darling this has been a two-day operation for me. Freddie even saw this sitting out and made me it in my pocket.” John informed, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper. “Uh, I was actually planning on telling you earlier, but I was nervous and then Freddie brought this up.”

You took the paper out of his hand and studied it intently. You felt an involuntary smile creeping up on you while reading it, knowing it was about you from someone you love so much.

You two stood in that dingy little closet, that possibly hasn’t been used in months, that was musty and cramped, and stared at each other. You were at a loss for words with a shit eating grin plastered across your face.

“What’s that face for?” John smiled.

“You are too adorable.” You blushed. You grabbed his hand and intertwined your fingers.  From outside of the closet, you heard shuffling and a loud bang. The door swung open and Freddie was outside. He shouted and expressed just how excited he was to have played Cupid by forcing himself into the little mini-room and hugging you two tightly.

“I just knew I could get you two together! I’m so happy for us!”

[wilhelmjfink]

The Great Divide - Chapter 7

@crossbowking @jodiereedus22 @apossiblegentleman@mtngirlforever@sourwolf-sterek32 @winchester-angel @qrangr@cole-winchester @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @twdeadfanfic@crazyaboutnorman@deliciousassafrasssandwich @bunnymother93@96ssi @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @ima-mther-fckn-starboy@thatsoragan @lonewolf471

A/N: new cover photo hehe :-)

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

It was a painfully long night for Riley as she watched the single ray of faded sunlight rise into her cell from the open doors down the hall. It was hardly enough to light up a room, but her eyes had already adjusted to the darkness she’d been trapped in, so it made no difference to her anyway.

‘The Divide’ she’d heard it referred to as. 

The night was full of crying from cells adjacent to hers and screaming from somewhere outside of the concrete walls. At one point, she’d given up trying to block out the noise by clutching her hands over her ears to no prevail and resorted to humming loudly to herself in hopes to block out the sounds. It hardly worked and left her throat more raw than it had already been from the agonized screams from being branded like cattle.

She couldn’t see the scar, but she could reach her left arm around to feel it, level with her ribs on the flesh of her mid back. It felt like an ‘X’ and though she wasn’t sure what that indicated, she knew it couldn’t be anything good. It hurt and the mere thought of it churned her guts and she was sure it could’ve easily made her sick if she had anything in her stomach to throw up.

Sleep came to her in minuscule amounts, riddled with nightmares of course, and she’d given up on getting any rest long ago which left her tired and achy and the stale pieces of bread they’d finally given her did little to satiate her hunger.

She had a lot of time to think — a dangerous thing for her.

A lot of time to wonder what she’d done to deserve this treatment. She’d only been trying to help.

A lot of time to sit quietly and fight back tears when she thought about her friends and family back home and especially Daryl, her hopes dwindling from thoughts of being rescued and brought home to just simply wishing they were all safe and sound, with or without her.

Her eyes had dried out and couldn’t produce any more tears; not so long as she was dehydrated, at least. The skin around them was red and chapped from her constant rubbing, trying to stifle them as they’d never seemed to want to stop. She’d cried herself out.

And after she’d done that, she’d begun to get angry.

The morning brought one of the Slavemasters — she’d overheard one of them referring to their position as such, and she acknowledged that would leave her a slave — stomping into the small building and opening cells, tearing each individual out one by one and dragging them outside. It was a new day, and Riley had no idea what it held for her. And she was terrified.

But she refused to show it. She refused to let them break her. She would try as hard as she could, for as long as she fucking could, until she simply could take no more.

So when she was dragged from her cell she bit down on her lip to stop the cries of pain she’d felt every time she moved any part of her body, the fresh burn on her back seeming to tear further along her skin and searing every nerve in her body along with it.

The early dawn brought an eerie scarlet glow to the area, the constant dirty cloud of red that always lingered around the town. The man that had her, she assumed, was the same that she’d seen yesterday on account of the mask he’d dawned. She wondered what he’d planned to do with her for the day.

The city was an enormous maze of building remains and rigged up structures like boarded walls and small camps under makeshift canopies, burn barrels everywhere contributing to the smog and next to them usually some sort of forge or sawmill or furnace. It was always loud. But she could usually catch some chatter if she listened hard enough to those as she was pulled by them. 

They brought her to a big enclosed courtyard with the only exit being the alley they came through. However, it was closed in by rooms that she figured used to be some sort of motel — some old rusted numbers still hung up on the metal doors, big windows to their sides boarded up or shattered. And she watched as the doors would open and workers would step in and out and she breathed a sigh of relief because maybe they wouldn’t make her live in a cage like an animal. That night had been one of the longest in her entire life and more of them were sure to drive her insane very quickly.

Room thirteen had the three missing but the shadow of where it hung still remained on the door that was pushed open, startling all of the workers in that room as Riley was thrown in carelessly and the door slammed behind her. She stumbled forward onto her hands and knees and automatically retracted away when hands reached out to her, away from those monsters that lurked everywhere she looked, but they weren’t the same gloved hands. In fact, they were much smaller, much softer hands, and she looked up at who they belong to and was shocked to see an older woman staring back at her.

“Oh, honey,” the woman said, shaking her head in pity, “you must be new here, huh?”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Riley sat topless on the stiff cot, wincing as Lidia used a small packet of burn cream and duct taped pieces of paper towels as bandages to cover the fresh wound on her back.

“Almost done.” The older lady said from over her shoulder.

Turns out the community of workers were tight-knit — at least those who had been here for some time. The Slavemasters seemed to have a tiny bit of compassion as it had turned out, giving the older of the workers the easier jobs that weren’t as strenuous as others. Like Lidia, who was in charge of food, for both masters and workers. The job itself, of course, was much rougher than a chef’s job would be anywhere else in the world before it turned — they had a reputation to keep up, naturally — but Lidia had somehow managed to remain a shining light in the darkness throughout her time here.

It baffled Riley, how some people could still find a reason to be genuinely happy even after the shit hand the world had dealt them.

“Did they take you, too?”

Riley sat up straighter, having forgotten Lidia was even there. “Huh?”

“I know you didn’t come here on your own,” she said matter-of-factly and Riley sighed, slouching back over so she could just remain small and unnoticeable. “So they took you away from somewhere, no?”

Riley thought hard about a response before she could find an answer she was comfortable with. As warm and gentle as Lidia seemed, Riley had a lot of time to contemplate her decisions to trust people so quickly as she sat curled up in the dark cell.

“Yeah,” she finally rasped, her shoulders slouching with a defeated sigh. “Yeah, they did.”

“Mm,” Lidia replied with a small nod as if she knew that was the answer regardless of how Riley responded. “Family? Friends?”

The conversation was so bitter, but yet, so natural — and Riley despised that.

No more small talk about the weather or your favorite sports teams latest game  your favorite musician releasing a new album. None of that even remotely mattered anymore.

So she snorted in disgust, racking her brain for an appropriate answer that actually conveyed how she was feeling. She was so mad. She was mad and scared and sad and she didn’t want to think about Daryl again. She didn’t want that infamous pang of metaphysical pain that hurt her heart every time she thought of his voice or his eyes or the feeling of being wrapped up in his arms, safe and sound...

“I had a husband before this. His name was Martin — well, we called him Marty.” Lidia must’ve gotten impatient waiting for Riley to respond as she tripped the end of the duct tape and fastened it to her back securely. “He made it through this whole mess with me, kept us both safe and alive. We’d been married for 47 years, and that was — oh, jeez, how long has it been now?”

“What happened to him?”

Lidia shook out an old tank top, whipping some dust off to clean it the best she could, doing the same with a pair of matching black shorts that hung off of her hips just slightly too big for her small frame that only seemed to be shrinking by the minute.

“I’m not sure. I was waiting for him to return from hunting one morning when those... monsters took me.” Her voice didn’t fluctuate, she hardly seemed emotional at all. Maybe it had been a long time and she’d learned to deal with it by then. Or maybe they really can break you here and Lidia was on the verge of snapping. Riley admired her inability to let rage take over her like she’d done many times just that day. “You have to earn your shoes,” Lidia added bluntly.

“How can you still be so happy?” Riley didn’t mean for the words to come out as sharp and venomous as they did, but she couldn’t help it. Here she was, listening to this poor old woman reminisce about her husband who she hadn’t seen in ages after she was ripped away from him and forced into a life of slavery, and she still found time to help others and to extend her kindness and warmth to them. It didn’t make sense.

“Honey, Marty loved me for a reason.” She explained. “And if I change my ways, then I would be letting him down... and the last thing that man would ever want me to do is give up. Do you understand?”

Her words felt like a punch in the stomach, like she was directing them toward Riley and her spiteful attitude toward life, even though she knew she wasn’t. How was it possible to go through all of those hardships and not feel as though the world owed you something?

“Thank you,” Riley stood up from the cot she’d been sitting on and gestured behind her, “for... all this.”

“Tell me about him.”

She watched as Lidia turned away to tidy up the rotted desk behind her, collecting the new medical supplies she had and shuffling them away into a box far in the corner. Daryl. Could she even manage to say his name? Again, the conversation was so sourly casual to Riley, but there was something strong about this woman that Riley was drawn to; something that made her extremely wary, unable to forget the events that led her here in the first place.

But ultimately, she decided there was no harm in Lidia’s request, and maybe taking about him would help her feel a little bit better.

She sighed and slumped back down onto the mattress, trying to bury the sadness that overcame her. Lidia sat in a rickety wooden chair across from her. “His name’s Daryl.”

“Tell me about this Daryl.”

Where do I even start? “Daryl is the most...” her heart was swelling with admiration already and butterflies fluttered in her stomach like she was swooning to a friend about a crush after a first date. It was bittersweet — that even after all this time, he could still make her heart race and hands clam up. But yet, she found it hard to describe him accurately with just words. “He is the most selfless, misunderstood, and... broken human being that I’ve ever met.”

Lidia rested her head in her hand thoughtfully, become increasingly enthralled with Riley’s story word by word. “That is quite the combination.”

“Yeah,” the corner of her mouth absentmindedly quirked up into a small smile, just longingly daydreaming about him now; maybe if she described him with enough detail, enough to make him so vivid and tangible, he would just appear in front of her and take her back home. “He’s quite the anomaly.”

“Why do you say that?”

Why did she say that? That word seemed appropriate and rolled right off of her tongue. “He spends so much time being angry and pretending like he doesn’t care about anybody or anything... but I’ve never met somebody like him before — someone so selfless who would do anything for anybody just because he wants nothing more than to... just belong.”

Lidia was listening intently.

“Well, it sounds like you’re very special to Daryl.”

Riley’s cheeks flushed and she couldn’t help but smile.

“He’s very special to me.” The giddiness was short lived, though, and she blinked away the familiar pain of tears building up in her eyes. Everything she’d been trying to avoid showed itself in the form of watery eyes and a breaking voice. “I miss him so much.”

“I think you’re special, too, Riley.” Lidia leaned forward and used a tattered rag to comfortingly wipe away her tears. “And I don’t think that this is the end of your story. You just need to have hope. You can’t give up on Daryl.”

what a sweet old lady......

i will update the master list & the ‘previous’ ‘next’ chapter things tomorrow cuz i’m exhausted goodnight enjoy~~~

@crossbowking @jodiereedus22 @apossiblegentleman@mtngirlforever @sourwolf-sterek32 @winchester-angel @qrangr@cole-winchester @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @twdeadfanfic @crazyaboutnorman @deliciousassafrasssandwich @bunnymother93 @96ssi @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @ima-mther-fckn-starboy @thatsoragan @lonewolf471

title pic: background daryl i am the girl on the right lmao  

[edengate5]

She Wolf 4

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

There is no way, no how I am doing this! We really don't need the radio waves, do we? Ugh! Fuck, we do. I need to do this. It is just a few ladders up, to get the switch on. This would help Dutch out, get him in touch with people who would eventually help me out.

"You sure I can't persuade you to go up instead, Jim bo," I ask, looking at the high reaching radio tower. After our lunch, we take a small hike down to the radio tower, destroying another shrine on our way here. I thought the switch would be in the office, but nope. Dutch informs me, its on the tower. High above. At the tippy top. Fuck me.

"You got money to pay me, Deputy? I know you save me and all, but there are somethings that aren't free," Jim said, refusing to help little old me. I scoff in annoyance. I hate heights. I really hate heights. I hate flying too. Shayna was surprise to hear that I drove for hours on end just to get here. There is no force on this earth that's going to make me get on an airplane. Well maybe my job, but nothing else.

I sigh, knowing I am losing time here. I salute Jim.

"It's been nice knowing you, Jim. I know you need to get back to your family," I inform him, since he is not going up this thing. He nods and says his goodbyes. I thank him for helping me with the station and another shrine we just hit.

"You got this. One step at a time," I mumble to myself as I go up the ladder. Once I hit a platform, I crawl to the ladder and slowly get up. The first platform is okay for me, but once I hit the second platform, fear made me its prey. I didn't want to do this. My fingers grab onto the grate of the platform, trembling at how high I am. This is too far high. I might fall and break my neck, or worse. DEATH!

I let a whimpering, closing my eyes. Creaking trees and the breeze, my nerves are on high alert. This is completely bull shit. Come on, Rhea. Get angry! You need to hurry up, but this pep talk is not helping.

"Hey, Rook. I know what you're thinking and no I ain't gonna have you climbing towers all over the county for me, so don't worry…..also try not to fall from up there."

I choke on a sob, not wanting to be there at all.I wipe my tears away and look up. I have one more platform to go. I can do this. I let go of the grate of my death grip and pull myself up with the ladder. One step at a time.

Four.

  Oh Shit! It's moving. ITS MOVING!

    Three.

  Two…...One. Finally, I reach the lever, my body shaking as if I'm walking on a wobbly bridge. I hear it turn on, hopefully Dutch has -

"Hey Deputy. I'm getting a stronger signal now. Head back to the bunker. The fog should be clearing soon by tomorrow, which means we can get you off this island and start helping people in Hope County," Dutch radios in. Clutching to the wires and not caring how dangerous it is, I un-clip my radio and respond to him. It would be dark soon, so it is better to head back and start early tomorrow.

"Deputy here. Coming back asap," I said, getting down from there. I take my time getting down, before jumping the last two steps. Never again! I really don't like heights. I look around the tower, hoping to loot somethings. I find nothing and make my way towards the bunker.

"Oh shit...Deputy, get here fast. I'm pickin' up something new outta Holland Valley. It's a broadcast from John...You need to see this." Dutch said, worrying me. This can't be good. It's probably some sick thing of getting the sinner and protecting Eden's gate thing.

Walking down the path, I don't rush to the bunk. I have little food in my stomach to go wasting one end of the island. I past the station, seeing the civilians, cleaning up the place. I wave at them, going on my merry way. They wave back before going out of sight.

I hope everything would fall into place. Wishful thinking, I know it's going to be nothing but hell for me. When I get my hands on Joseph, I'm going to tear him apart. He should know his place.

Nearing the bunker, I smell around, seeing if someone is following me. Just in case, they knew about the cameras around here. I try to open the door, seeing it is open. I bet Dutch knew I was close by. I close and lock it behind me, before descending down. I already know Dutch would be in his red room, gathering information. I enter it, setting my bag on the table. Dutch is writing down something before putting it on the board. He looks at me with pity?

"Take a seat, Deputy," Dutch said, showing me the way. My eyebrows furrow. What's going on? I take a seat and he raise the volume up to this broadcast.

At first, it was static coming through before it starts. It is a very close up of someone wearing a blue pattern shirt. They turn around and its John 's picture of him did not do him justice. What strikes me the most are his baby blue eyes, reminding me of blue jays flying around winter. What a handsome guy he is. For a moment, I thought he and I could talk this out.

"We are all sinners. Every one of us."

Welp. There goes that plan. He fuck it up by opening his mouth. I mean he is a good looking guy, but horrible personality I can tell. I mean what is with his broadcast. It's like a late night infomercial during Toonami. Not important and lame. Oh god it even has background music.

"You. Me. Even the Father knows deeply of sin. It's a poison that clouds the mind,"

…...Fuck he is good.I need to be careful with this one. Unlike his brother Joseph, John hasn't lost his sanity just yet. His morals maybe. He is a bitch. A smart bitch, who uses the system to hijack that child's support money from the baby daddy.

"What if I told you, you can be free of sin? What if I told you that everything you ever dreamed could come true? What if I told you that everything could be overcome if you embrace an idea,"

John is selling everything and giving me used car salesman tactics realness up in here. I mean this is pretty good for being amateur productions. Hell even the homeless looking Peggies are selling it. The camera gives me another angle and I get a glimpse of my partner. Joey Hudson. Tied up and duct taped.

I grip onto the arms of the chair, and really study this broadcast, learning who is there, hopefully where it is, how does John acts and anything Joey might give me.

"Come on partner. Give me some Morse code. Anything," I whisper out loud.

"That freedom from sin can come from the power of just one word…" John raises his hands, the camera panning out to the word YES. People were clapping and cheering or is it a recording? My gasp as not only Hudson was brought out, but my sister. My poor, out of it sister.

Both of them look like they were drag through the mud, and the fear etching itself onto their face. Hudson looks like she put up some fight until she couldn't fight anymore. Her mascara running as if she was crying for hours on end. Sigh…..I told her to buy the waterproof one, but noooooo she had to go cheap.

My sister seams out of it. Like a twink of the deep end. Her head has bandages around it, blood staining it. Black hair sticking out like a madwoman, and her hazel eyes out of focus. Her skin looks like an ashy brown color. She can barely walk let alone stand by herself. A head injury, which explains the cut off connections. I let out a sigh of relief though. They look like their injuries are being taken care of. For now.

"Yes, I am a sinner. Yes I wish to be unburdened. Yes...I must be redeemed. If you are watching this, know that you have been selected. You will be cleansed. You will confess your sins, and you will be offered atonement."

"Sick fuck," Dutch harshly whispers, stepping away. He starts to pace around the room while I watch the rest.

"Don't worry you don't have to do anything. We'll come for you...Welcome to Eden's Gate."

I have a death grip on the chair, watching my helpless sister like that. John Seed. You really fuck with the wrong family. I decided to go after him as I see him close his hands around my sister's neck.

"Sorry, Dep. It seems that John has your partner and your little sister," he said. I let out a small laugh. A lot of people confuse me as the big sister because of our size.

"John Seed has my big sister, Dutch. Tomorrow, I will give him my answer. I'm going to burn his whole operation to the ground, then I'm going to kill him like the animal he is," I snarl at the end. Dutch doesn't say anything, doesn't show any emotion at all.

I take a few breaths in and out. My whole body just wants to run out there and save my Beta. My sister, but I know better. I need to plan it out. The T.V goes back to the commercial again. This is the only thing I have into getting information on him. Slowly, I start to grin, a smile covering half of my face.

"This is perfect!" I exclaim, holding the T.V for a bit. I look at Dutch and he is confused like a teen girl with her period for the first time.

"I need paper and something to write," I ask of him. He goes over to a drawer and gives me the stuff I need. I go back on the chair, sitting Indian style and watching the broadcast over and over again.

"You aren't going to watch this over and-"

"Yes. Don't you see!. With this, I can see how he acts, what he wants everyone to believe in, his mannerism. This broadcast will ruin him. With my B.A in Criminology and Masters in Psychology, I am going to analyze this to the minuscule of details," I said, not letting my eyes leave the screen. Dutch mutters something and leaves me here.

With every rerun, I write something done, writing everything that comes to mind. Ignoring Dutch, I continue to watch this over and over again.

Dutch left for a while, probably to relax and away from hearing John's voice over and over again. He comes in with some type of soup and crackers at first. I devour it, not tasting how bland it is.

I quickly write down more as I look around the background of the video. The Peggies seem new, not used to carrying a gun. Some of them even have their fingers on the trigger, which means they don't have training in gun's safety. Hell their stance are shit too. Now, I'm only focusing on him and him alone.

Dutch sets another meal in front of me. This time fish with some canned peas and corn.

"I think that's enough, Deputy. It's already ten p.m. Take a rest and start fresh tomorrow," Dutch kindly said to me. I go over and lower the volume to silence the broadcast and deeply sigh. He is right. I need a long deep sleep to get my body it's time to fully rest.

"Yea. I'll head to one of the spare cots you have and thank you for the meal. Is it okay to bounce off ideas, Dutch? I have some theories," I mumble the last part. I brush my hair back behind my ear to see his surprises.

"Sure. Lay it on me," he said, taking a crate to sit on. I stretch my legs, getting the flow of blood in them before taking my list from the desk.

"So I notice some things: One: His Peggies do not have any gun training. Two: He was an abused victim or has a kink with self mutilation. I see that he had a scar on his chest with blood still visibly there. Which leads me to believe to Three:" I rant, stopping to put some food in my mouth. I wipe my mouth to continue.

"Three: He gets off with hurting people, playing with people's lives and being the one to save them like his brother save him," I ended with that. I look up to see that Dutch is impress with my find.

"And ya find that all with just his broadcast. While I be damn, we might have hope to take back the whole county," Dutch compliments me. I flip my hair back and relish in the praise.

"Aww thanks. I'm still paying those student loans though," I said, reminding myself about how much in debt I'm already in. Dutch lets out a chuckle.

"Well, when this is over, I will personally help you out-"

"It's about 98,600 dollars loan, Dutch" I cut him off. His jaw drops and curses.

"Yep, but look at the uses of those degrees. Taking out a cult in Montana,saving people lives and shit," I said, finishing my meal.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Dutch," I said, picking up my plate. He says his goodnight and I place the dirty plate in the sink. I'll clean up tomorrow. I head to the room with the bunk beds in them. I take off my shoes and just lay on it. I finally know where my sister is. Soon, Shayna. I'm coming for you. Soon, I'll change and rip his throat out and paint the walls red with his blood. He will see the monster we truly are and we shall devour him.