#so technically I say a kiss attack still fits the theme

[starry-eyes-love]

Ch 8- A Christmas Story

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My Journey to You Series:  Ch. 8- A Christmas Story (can read as a stand alone or in order with the series).

Pairings | Joel Miller x F!Reader with a lot of Ellie interactions 

Summary | A Christmas Story in January, three wishes granted, and finally the concept of a family once again…and F!Reader and Joel’s teasing hit an all time high between them.

Warnings | 18+, Minors DNI.  Language, slight angst (Joel and reader overthinks stuff again), sexual tension/teasing to the max, panic attack (Joel has one), a ton of fluffy fluff fluff stuff (like a ton), a lot of funny/cute little moments, references to smut (without actual smut though), passionate kissing, terms of endearment (baby, honey, etc.), Ellie calls Joel dad (it needs its own warning), Joel hears Sarah’s voice, Christmas theme stuff, water and snowball fight, Ellie and Joel banter, implied age gap (without any reference to age), Christmas cookies, family and marriage dynamic references, and I don’t want to spoil too much more.  This one is a tear jerker (funny laughter and fluffy stuff wise) but in the best possible way for them. And a ring may be involved (shhh). Ok, not going to spoil it anymore…just read it…oh and an old guy in a fat Santa suit :)   

Word Count:  10.9 K (not sorry really)

Ellie immediately started laughing as Joel struggled with the Santa suit. “Joel, you look funny in a fat suit,” she said, laughing out loud at a pillow peeking through his Santa jacket.  “I haven't heard of no Joel before, I'm Santa.” He said, with a husky voice. “So what happened to Joel? Did ya kill him when you landed your fat ass on top of him with your sleigh…”

Joel had hunted for the perfect Christmas tree. He tried to find one that wasn’t too big or too small, something that would easily fit inside the cabin. After searching for the better part of a day, Joel finally found one that was perfect. You had been sitting by the fire, relaxing after making jerky for food, when you heard Joel through the door say “Hey, can ya help me with this?”

When you opened your eyes and peered through the window you gasped at seeing the tree. “Joel, are you serious? Did you actually get us a Christmas tree?” you said, eyes bright and a huge smile plastered on your face. It had been ages since you had a Christmas tree, let alone a proper Christmas. Christmas was always your favorite holiday and you were absolutely blown away that Joel was making the effort to give you something from your childhood, even though it was long past the holiday season.

After the tree was up, Ellie and you searched the storage totes again and found some old Christmas decorations with lights. There were only a few ornaments in the storage containers, so you improvised. You hung a few spoons, a hunting knife that was broken, a few old holey socks, and a few pieces of paper that had fallen out from old books; all of which were placed on the tree like ornaments. It wasn't the best looking tree, but it meant something to the three of you. It showed that even with survival, there was still a chance of having a family once again.

The following days after you put up the tree you kept to yourself more, getting lost in your own thoughts of the past again. You thought about what time of the year it was, and by your calculations and best estimate, you figured it was sometime in the middle of January. Technically Christmas was in the past, being a December holiday. When you brought this fact up to Joel, he told you to stop worrying. That the whole point of any of this was to give Ellie a taste of Christmas, no matter what time of year or suggested date it was on the calendar. No one kept a calendar anymore, all any of you could do was guess. 

You tried not to worry, but you started overthinking again. You didn't tell anyone, but you silently hoped that Christmas would bring you a family once again. You knew Joel hadn't said that he loved you yet, but you were hoping he'd say it now for Christmas. What you didn't know was that Joel had been saying that he loved you, but just in Spanish, and you didn’t speak Spanish. Joel said ‘te amo’ almost every day to you, which meant that he loved you. He said it in front of Ellie once, and you saw Ellie's eyes go wide. Joel shot her a quick glare to be quiet. When you had asked her why she reacted that way, and if she understood Spanish, she said no. You didn't voice it, but you knew that she was lying. You tried asking Joel again what ‘te amo meant’, but he never answered you. He just walked outside and pretended not to hear you. You were starting to think that maybe your idea of Joel telling you that he loved you was wrong, that actually he was being mean to you once again, but this time in Spanish. You were so lost and confused, overthinking things once again in your head.

In the following days when you heard that the traps needed to be checked and reset, you volunteered to do it. This allowed you to mull things over in your head, without interruption or having to explain why you were being more quiet and keeping to yourself. You were gone for the better part of a day, taking longer than normal to check and reset the traps. You were so lost in thought, bent over and working on the last trap that you never heard Joel approach.

“Ya know, I didn't think watchin’ you attempt to check and rest a trap for the last 20 minutes would be so sexy. But I guess I was wrong.” He said, leaning up against a tree with his arms crossed.

You slowly straightened up and glanced over your shoulder, raising an eyebrow up at him. You didn't want to argue or fight, so you were wary of saying anything. When you looked at Joel, frustration was not what you saw. You saw him look at you like he was a wolf, and that you were his prey. His eyes were dark and pupils blown wide with lust. When you trailed your eyes down his body, you saw a tight prominent bulge in the front. The longer you looked, the more you felt your own heat rise up in your spine, and a deep throb started someplace else inside of you. How can that man stand there and look that damn sexy, you thought to yourself.

Joel stared at you, wondering the same thing. Damn woman. You're making it so fucking hard f’me. I just wanna bend ya over right there and fuck that nice tight lil’ ass of yours. Joel's thoughts were running rampant in his head, he was fighting hard to keep his calm composure and not give in to his animal instincts. After a moment of eye fucking you he said in a husky voice, “Ya wanna bend over for me, nice and slow baby? Let me see that nice tight ass of yours?”

“Yeah, well Miller, you can't touch now can you?” You said, smiling at Joel, trying to push the beast in front of you to give in and devour you. You craved Joel in every possible way. And by the way he was glaring at you, you figured he was thinking the same thing that you were. You wanted him desperately to stop being so noble, to just give in to his animal urges and claim you completely as his. 

With a slight smirk and another slow palm to his crotch Joel said, “well baby, that's why I'm asking ya to bend back over f’me. I wanna see that nice, big-”

“You better not be referring to my ass as being big there old man, or so help me God, that'll be the last time you see it in this position.” You glared at Joel, silently challenging him to continue.

You saw Joel swallow hard, his Adam's Apple bobbing up and down at your statement. Apparently your mouth turned him on. God, why did your smartass attitude sound so incredibly sexy to him right now? You watched Joel place his hands on his hips, slowly taking a few steadying breaths. It was getting harder and harder for him to deny you. This little chase game between the two of you was heating up, and Joel was miserable. You've been teasing the fuck out of him for days, not kissing him or allowing him to touch you sexually. He was about two seconds away from saying screw it and give in to you. He wanted you, desperately. Evidence of this was inside his pants right now, straining hard against his zipper.  Throbbing and pulsing to every fast beat of his heart, reminding him that even in this unforgiving world, that he was still a man that had needs. And his needs were screaming at him to bend you over and claim that perfect little cunt of yours as his. God man, get a fucking grip on yourself.

Joel scolded himself internally, he remembered the discussion the two of you have had recently regarding the act of penetration.  “Joel, do I not turn you on, do you not want sex? Every time I try, you say no. I want to. Please.”  Your thoughts and mouth had overflowed with doubt and anxiety at his relationship with you recently. It wasn't like he didn't want to have sex, God he wanted nothing more than to give in and give you everything. But he was trying to do this right, or so he thought. “Just a little while longer,” he had said to you. But the more he watched you right now, the more he started to question his own logic. 

Joel, being so lost in thought, was surprised when you slowly bent over and ran your hand up the back of your ass. “Mr. Miller, I want you to fuck this so bad.” You had said, looking back at him, pleading with your eyes.

Joel was trying to be a good man for you, a true gentleman. But you almost made him cum right there on the spot with that move. Right now he wanted to throw all caution out of the way and just bury himself deep inside of you, claim you as truly his. With a low growl, and a firm palm to his crotch, Joel looked at you with warning eyes and said, “Darlin', ya can't say shit like that t’me and expect me not to-” Joel had to stop himself before he fully admitted to his weakness. He knew that if he told you that he wanted to fuck you, that you'd touch him. And the moment you'd touch him would be when his last resolve would snap, and he'd give in to you with no restraint.

When you looked back at Joel, he looked completely wrecked. That man is truly like iron steel with his resolve. Holding back and not giving in, you thought.  For a moment you truly were impressed with his ability to say no. But as the intense stare down continued, you knew he was on the verge of breaking and giving you what you wanted. But by how black his pupils looked, you knew he wouldn’t be able to be gentle, and that terrified and excited you all at the same time. You wanted him to give you everything that he had, to not hold back anymore, and to just let himself feel something. “Ya alright?” you said, while walking over to Joel. When he didn't respond, you were concerned. So with a long exhale you said, “Look Joel, I'm sorry, I-”

“No ya ain't. Ya ain't fucking sorry and you know it. Fuck woman, ya need to stop teasing me like this.” He said, pointing down at the front of him. You could see that he was uncomfortable, pants visibly tight around his big length. He was slightly throbbing through his denim jeans as his belt fit nice and snug on his waist. His lips were slightly parted as he slowly licked them, getting them nice and moist.  He ran a hand through his hair, breathing heavy, cock twitching at your staring eyes.  You heard a low growl emit from his chest as he said with a stern voice “quit fucking staring at me like that, and stop your god damn teasing, now.”

When you slowly raised your eyes up to Joel’s face, you saw the wild man, the wolf within him, stare back at you. Joel had that look in his eyes of pure dominance. He wanted you to challenge him, so he could claim you as truly his. Every warning bell was going off in your head from him, and you did the only thing that you knew you could do in this situation.  You pushed him a little more, wanting his resolve to snap hard. “Teasing you? I'm not teasing you Joel.” You said, allowing irritation to lace your voice. Here you were minding your own business, thinking about stuff when he told you that you looked sexy and to bend over, and now giving you fuck me eyes. What the fuck was his problem, he was teasing you, you thought.

Joel didn't say anything, but he continued to look at you breathing hard. He knew you were challenging him, hoping that he’d lash out and teach you a lesson. You two had a lot of sexual tension building up over the past few months. And honestly, you two needed to fuck it out, but here was not the proper time nor place to do it.  So he gently shook his head no, and took three steps back from you, dropping his hands to his sides while whispering “baby, we can’t.” 

You knew that Joel was backing down, retreating from his feelings once again. And this made you frustrated.  This was the whole reason why you were out here in the first place. You needed some time to be away from the tension inside the house, from the constant reminder that Joel didn’t want you sexually the way that you wanted him.  So when you turned back around to go back to the trap, you were surprised to feel Joel grab your arm.  Confusion laced your face when you looked down at his contact with you. His voice, almost in a pained whisper said, “baby please, just wait a sec. Maybe we could, I- uh want to, I want- shit.” He said, shaking his head.

“Joel, what is it?” You were hoping that if he couldn’t do the act that he obviously wanted to do, that maybe he could just at least talk about it with you.

Joel just stared at you, pleading with his eyes for you to understand him.  He wanted to say ‘Baby, I love you and wanna fuck you so bad,’ but he couldn't voice it to you. Joel was scared. He was scared of feeling the things he felt for you in a world that was truly unforgiving. He didn't want to feel the pain of losing you, like he had when he lost Sarah. He also didn't want to be alone anymore. So with a huff he said “looks like ya got it all figured out. Don't- don't take too much more time.” 

When he turned to leave, you reached out and grabbed him by the arm and said, “what, no kiss goodbye?”  You wanted something to hold on to, something that said that all this sexual tension was worth it, that he wanted you. That maybe he actually did love you.  But when you saw Joel looking at you with a stone cold look on his face, one that was also mixed with pain, you heard him whisper “no” as he pulled further away.

“Why? Did I do something wrong? Joel, what did I do so wrong, why don’t you want to-”

“No darlin' you didn't do anything wrong.” He said, stopping and smiling kindly at you. “I just- it ain't a good idea right now is all, ok. We can’t, not here. I need to get back.” And with that he yanked his arm out of your grasp and marched towards the cabin once again. 

You called back to him and said “why? Joel, I don't understand,” but he never stopped. You were left standing there, now more confused than ever, thinking to yourself, what in the hell was that?

Do you want me to fuck you? Is that what you want? Your words kept playing over and over again in Joel's head from the other night as he marched back to the cabin. Do you even want me Joel? He couldn't stop the racing thoughts as they entered his mind. 

When he got back to the cabin, he went inside. Once he was inside he slammed his fist onto the closed door, placing his head against it with his eyes closed. He was breathing hard and fast, heart pounding hard inside his chest. He tried to slow his breathing down when he felt the ache in his chest start again, like it has so many times before. But this time it was a little different, he felt a tightness take over too. His vision started to blur, and his ears began to ring. He was spiraling out of control into a god forsaken panic attack once again. 

Before he was sucked too far down into his fears, he felt someone put their hand on his back and softly whisper, “dad you're gonna be ok. Just breathe. Come on, slow breaths for me.”

“I can't, it's too much.” He said, eyes shut tight as he felt his heart pound hard into his chest.

“No, it's not too much. One long breath in, hold for two seconds, then exhale for three. Come on dad, with me.”

Joel heard the breaths going in and out, and the voice that attempted to calm him.  He thought he was hallucinating, hearing Sarah’s voice once again, but it sounded different from what he usually could hear in his mind.  As he tried to focus on breathing, he struggled. Then he heard the voice say in a soft and gentle manner again, “What scared you?” 

“I don't wanna be alone, but I don't want to feel the pain of losing you again” he said, feeling his heart pound faster in his chest at the admittance of what caused his panic attack to start. 

“You ain't gonna be alone dad, we love you. Now come on, breathe with me and repeat after me ‘I’m safe, I'm calm, I'm loved.’” 

Joel repeated it multiple times, for several minutes, listening to the voice calm him and slow his breathing down.  His heart had returned to normal in his chest, vision no longer cloudy and ears no longer ringing. Finally he took a big breath in and out, steadying himself once again. But before he opened his eyes he heard the voice say, “I love you dad, please never forget it.” And then the soft voice was gone. Joel opened his eyes and looked behind him as he slowly watched Ellie walk towards her bedroom. It was then that he realized the soft voice wasn't Sarah, it was Ellie. And his heart constricted once again, but this time out of love for the teenager he traveled with. “Thanks baby girl” he whispered as Ellie walked away. Ellie never acknowledged it, but she heard him loud and clear.

Once you got back, Joel was already in his room with the door shut. Ellie said that when he returned, he just walked in saying that he wasn't feeling well, and then went to lay down in his bedroom. She never told you that he had a panic attack, and that she helped him calm down. You sat talking with Ellie for a bit, she continued to ask you a million questions about what life was like before during Christmas. Eventually you felt your eyelids grow heavy, so with a smile you said “I'm gonna go and get some sleep Ellie. It’s been a long day.” You were still hurt and sensitive about your earlier discussion with Joel, second guessing his feelings for you once again.

Ellie just nodded at you, not saying anything in return. As you got to the hallway you heard her say “just so ya know, te amo means I love you or love you in Spanish. Joel, he's emotionally constipated and hurting right now. He doesn't want to lose you or I like he did Sarah. So, I don't know, just cut him some slack or something. I want a family for Christmas.”

You just looked at Ellie and nodded your head. When she went back to reading her book you went to your own room, letting Joel have the other room by himself.  You two needed a break, well mostly you did.  You were exhausted and needed to sleep, but didn’t want to lay next to the man who made you ache inside for him when he wouldn’t do anything to help relieve that discomfort. You and Joel used to play around with each other, where he’d use his fingers and mouth to help you get off.  But recently he wouldn’t even do that. Something was different with him, and you didn’t know what caused it or why.  

After you laid down you found that sleep quickly caught up to you. And for once it gave you pleasant dreams. Dreams of a family and a life that you wanted with a foul mouthed teenager named Ellie, and a wise old grump named Joel. Christmas was going to be great this year, or at least it was like that in your dreams.  Little did you know, your dreams would soon become reality.

3 Days Later

“Joel, you can't see for shit beyond ten yards away. You're old and blind” Ellie said, sitting by the fire and talking with Joel.

“What the hell does that even mean, ya little shit? I can see beyond 10 yards, ya smartass, right y/n?”

“Hey, don't bring me into this argument,” you said, laughing at the banter between Joel and Ellie.

“See y/n agrees, you're old as shit Joel.”

“What? How’d you come up with that logic?  She didn’t even say anythin,’” Joel huffed, going back and forth with Ellie.  The banter between these two for the last few days was getting more frequent, which made you laugh harder each time. It wasn’t that these two were fighting. They were just bickering with each other, playful banter really, and something that reminded you of a family.  You remember seeing your uncles do it with their teenage daughters, it reminded you of home. 

“Look here smartass, don't go and spread lies ‘bout me that ain't true. If ya can’t verify it or back it up, then you’re just making stuff up.” Joel was now standing tall and pointing a finger at Ellie. Ellie, relaxed on the floor, was questioning Joel in whether or not he could even see to shoot a bow, as he was struggling to read the book in his hands. He kept squinting, huffing to himself and saying that people needed to stop printing books in such small print.

“Joel, you can’t see the large print book in front of you, when it says ‘large print’ on it. You’re fucking blind ya old man, ain’t that right y/n?” Ellie said with a serious look on her face.

“Ellie, god damnit watch your mouth. Ya hear me? I said no swearin’. And you over there,” Joel said while pointing a finger at you, “stop your damn laughing.” You were rolling around on the floor laughing so hard that your stomach hurt at the calm bickering that Ellie and Joel were both doing. You could barely contain your laughter, trying not to hurt or bruise Joel’s ego at the situation that he swore just as bad (and if not worse) than Ellie did, yet he was yelling at her for swearing.

“Damn it, I can’t read this sentence.  Y/n what the hell does this even say here with this small print.  I tell ya, they don’t make books like they used to.” Joel mumbled to himself, while pointing out the sentence he couldn’t read.

Ellie immediately tried to grab the book, offering to help Joel read it. But Joel quickly batted her hand away, putting the book into your hands.  You glared at Ellie and Joel, trying to decide what you should do.  Ellie was pleading with her eyes for you to crack a joke so she could continue with the easy conversation of teasing Joel.  Joel was looking at you to solve the problem he was having.  After a moment you brought the book up so you could read it, deciding to help Ellie have some more fun, and for you to have a little fun with the old man that was in front of you. You needed to relax too, not every interaction with Joel needed to be so intense.

“Ok Joel, I’ll help you.  What do you want me to read?” you asked innocently, hiding the devilish smirk behind your calm exterior. When Joel pointed out the sentence, mumbling again how books aren’t created like they used to be, having the print too small, you couldn’t help yourself. You took a deep breath and said, “well first off Joel, this book was written back in 1945. But you’re right, they don’t make them like they used to. And you’d know that perfectly wouldn’t you, with your age.” You then went to start to read the sentence and you noticed that Joel froze as he sat down, looking over at Ellie who was sitting upright, not yet laughing or saying anything at the old reference.  You had to hand it to the kid, she patiently waited until your next sentence came out.

“Ok Joel it says, ‘once upon a time, an old man named Joel couldn’t see, so he decided to blame the world for being old. He asked a beautiful, young, and attractive woman to help his poor, old, feeble self by reading something that a blind man could honestly see. So she decided to help, because he was really cute, and in the end, she agreed with the teenager that he was old as fuck. The End.’”

“Gimme that wiseass” he said as you finished.  Ellie was now bent over laughing so hard that she was hyperventilating at how much you were in on teasing Joel too.  “No respect from the younger generation I tell ya, no respect.”  Joel then got up with a groan and sulked towards the bedroom with his book in his hands.  When he got to the hallway he turned around and said “if y'all are through laughin’ at me, I’m gonna go and read in the bedroom and get some sleep.”

“Cause you’re old as shit” Ellie said.

Joel, not realizing what Ellie had said out loud, commented “right, see you in the morning.”  

You and Ellie both roared with laughter at the fact that Joel didn’t realize what he agreed to.  After a moment, he stopped and then hit his head with the palm of his hand, saying, “I didn’t mean that. I’m not agreeing to that.” 

You replied, “see Ellie, apparently he’s old, blind and deaf too.”

“No respect I tell ya, none.” He said loudly upon hearing what you said. Huffing to himself, he marched into the bedroom yelling “and yet y’all need me to survive” as he slammed the door.  

Both Ellie and you continued to laugh in the living room.  After a moment you said “we probably shouldn’t make fun of him so much, he gets a little touchy ya know.”

“I know,” Ellie said, “but it’s so much fun teasing Papa Bear like this. Reminds me of what it’d be like if he was my dad.  Well, I’m gonna go to bed.”  She said, then getting up and leaving for her room.

“Night Ellie,” you said as Ellie walked towards her bedroom.  You sat there in the living room for a little while longer, rubbing your eyes and giggling to yourself at the funny banter that happened. Life was feeling pretty good for a bit. But now with the quiet, you felt your heart constrict and those empty thoughts of being alone came rushing back in. After sitting there in silence you decided to go to bed yourself. Forcing your thoughts to rest in your head at the fact that you were going to be sleeping alone once again.

When morning came, you had decided to bake Christmas cookies in secret. You recruited Ellie to help you keep Joel distracted for the afternoon. Ellie had apologized to Joel in the morning, he had called her a smartass again, but it seemed like he forgave her.  He wouldn’t talk to you really, telling you that you were mean to him and that he doesn’t talk to mean people.  You knew he was just joking as he gave you a wink and a light hip chuck at the statement when he stood next to you in the kitchen.  You’ve never seen this side of Joel, so carefree and fun that it shocked and surprised you, but also turned you on.  You loved carefree Joel, someone that you hoped you would be able to see more of.  Once Ellie was talking Joel's ear off outside, you started to bake your surprise Christmas cookies.

“Hey old man, why haven’t you told her what Te amo means yet?” Ellie asked, leaving out the part that she already told you what it meant. She wanted Joel to say it to you, knowing that you both loved each other very much and she wanted both of you to be happy. 

“Not the right time” was all he said, huffing as he swung the axe to chop firewood. “And stop calling me old” he said with another grunt and swing of the axe.  

“When’s the right time Joel?” She questioned, transfixed at what he was doing.

“Dunno” was his only reply as he swung the axe yet again.

“Joel I-”

“Ellie, this ain’t none of your business what her and I- what we- Look, her and I have-”

“God Joel, you’re forgetting that I’m practically an adult, I know you two have your little love sessions. That’s what I mean, if y’all can fuck, then why can’t you tell her that you love her?”

“Keep your voice down” Joel snapped, approaching Ellie for a moment to grab another piece of firewood. “And for the record, we ain’t fuckin’ yet, so-”

“Why not? Can’t get it up old man, is that the problem?” She joked, smiling at her sarcasm that she just gave him.

He just shook his head at her, not answering her.  Getting it up was not the problem, that part was evident last night when he went to bed. You had given him a lot of sass last night and Joel hated to admit that it was a huge turn on for him. You were strong, could keep up with him and you weren’t afraid to put him in his place. When he walked into his bedroom last night, he was hard as a rock at the fact that you had a sassy mouth.  It only took him a few minutes before he came hard around his fingers, wishing he was buried deep inside of you.  This no sex thing was getting to him, he needed you in more ways than one, and he didn’t think he’d be able to hold off for very much longer. 

“So what’s the reason Joel?” Ellie said, snapping Joel out of his train of thought.

“I just want to do this right” was all he said.

“How do you ‘do it right?’” Ellie asked genuinely, not understanding the complexity of relationships like this yet.

“What’s with all these questions, huh?  Look, her and I, what we- I know what I’m doing, ok? Don’t worry about this, it ain’t your concern.” he said, swinging the axe and chopping another piece of firewood.

Ellie loved teasing Joel, especially about you. You had asked her to go out and keep Joel occupied as you started baking something inside the house. You found an old recipe for Christmas cookies, specifically sugar cookies. You went through the pantry and saw the makings for the cookies and you wanted to do something nice for Joel, considering the tension between you two wasn’t the best at the moment. You didn't know what was the matter, you figured it had everything to do with him remembering his last Christmas with his daughter. That's why you wanted to make this Christmas perfect for him and Ellie too.

“So do you?” Ellie asked Joel as she continued to watch him. 

“What?” He said, breathing hard after he swung the axe yet again, chopping another piece of firewood.

“You heard me. Do. You. Love. Her?” she said, emphasizing each word so Joel could hear her. Ellie was genuinely interested in whether or not Joel actually did love you.

Joel, not wanting to talk about his feelings, started sifting through the log piles, pretending like he was trying to find something. Ellie could tell that he was nervous, not wanting to answer the question. She walked over to Joel and then said “Papa Bear, what's the matter?”

“I do. I do love her it's just that-”

“You're just scared to love that hard again, I get it.” Ellie said, smiling at him at his attempted admission. Every time she's ever tried to get Joel to talk about his feelings he's always blow up either at her or at you for asking. So this little attempted admission made Ellie feel good, knowing that he did in fact love you and that Joel felt comfortable enough to share.

“Yeah somethin’ like that. Now enough of making me talk, what are you gonna give y/n for Christmas?” Joel said, trying to change the subject.  

Ellie had talked Joel's ear off all afternoon. When he got tired she took a turn and chopped firewood for a little bit. You watched through the window at the two of them, seeing how he just fell into the typical dad role. At one moment you saw her jump on his back to try to get him on the ground. He was able to twist around and finally held her down, tickling her. You could see that he loved that sassy foul mouthed teenager as if it was his own Sarah.

You were finally finished baking the sugar cookies, as they were now cooling on the rack, when all of a sudden you heard Ellie yell “hey y/n, can you come out here for a second?”

When you didn't respond right away, as you were grabbing your boots and coat, you heard Joel yell with a booming voice “woman, get your ass out here now.”

You quickly ran outside saying “What? What's the matter?” When all of a sudden you were hit by a flying snowball. You looked around to see where it had come from when you got hit right in the face again with another one. When that happened, you yelled as it had stung and surprised you.

“Oh shit Joel, you hit her in the face” you heard Ellie say.

“Shh not so loud, you'll give away our position” he countered. 

When you looked around eventually you saw Joel and Ellie poke their head out of a little hiding spot. “You shits,” you had said, while forming a snowball yourself and then launching it at them. The next thing you knew, the three of you were having an honest to God snowball fight, like you were all 8 years old again. Quickly though it became girls against the boy, as Joel accidentally hit Ellie in the back of the head and she yelled “What the fuck Joel?”

His response was “well when ya got a big head, and are in the way, what do ya think will happen?” That caused you and Ellie to form a temporary alliance to get even with Joel.

As the three of you were forming strategic positions and developing an art to this snowball fight, you had an idea to really get Joel back. You went into the kitchen and filled a large pot with ice cold water. This will get him good, you thought. Then Ellie got him cornered and you approached him with the water.

“Woman, now put that down now. No use you gettin’ yourself hurt.” He said, trying to get away from you, but Ellie had him backed into a corner. When Joel saw that you weren't backing down he said “so help me God y/n, if ya do that I'll throw your naked ass in the snow later.”

“Hear that Ellie? I believe Joel just gave me a challenge. What do you think, kid?” You said, while approaching Joel. He was quickly glancing around to try to find an exit, when he couldn’t find one he thought intimidation might stop you. 

“Look here, that’s not a challenge little girl. It's a fucking promise. Ya do that I will throw your ass naked in the snow.” When you didn’t back down he quickly shouted, “woman, put it down now or else-” and that's when you did it.  You tossed the water at Joel and drenched the entire front of him.  He immediately yelled saying, “Jesus Christ, that's cold. Ya tryin' to freeze my balls off here or somethin’? What's gotten into you?” He then got grumpy and started walking inside, not wanting to look at anyone anymore. He looked like a wet pup, and boy did it make you and Ellie laugh. 

When Joel entered the cabin he stopped as he smelled a familiar old scent in the air. When you walked in behind him you put your hand on his back and said, “Merry Christmas Joel.” He turned around, and said, “did ya bake Christmas cookies?”

“Of course I did, honey. Sugar cookies only though. It was the only thing I could find the ingredients for.” You said, biting your lip nervously. Ingredients were hard to come by but you managed to find enough for a batch of cookies, and then some left over for bread. Sugar cookies were cooling on the wrack and bread was still baking in the oven. You knew they wouldn't have that fresh taste as you had no idea how old the ingredients were. You couldn't use chicken eggs or butter, so you substituted it for some water and other ingredients like stored coconut oil you found that was still ok. 

Joel stood there sniffing the air, a wide grin plastered onto his face. He may be a man in his 50s, but right now in this moment he looked like a young boy, excited to have baked Christmas goods. “Um, do ya think that maybe I could-” Joel said, shuffling over to where the cookies were cooling, dropping large pools of water everywhere with how wet he was. 

When you looked down you giggled to yourself at how his threat of throwing you into the snow naked hadn’t happened yet, something that you weren’t going to remind him of. “Hey, how ‘bout you go and get outta those wet clothes, then come over and have the first official taste test. Let me know how I did.” You said, nudging him gently towards the bedroom where some warm and dry clothes were.

Joel nodded and quickly shuffled off to change his clothes, leaving large drops of water all the way down the hall. “Is he gone?” Ellie asked, peeking her head around the door while still standing outside, not wanting to get attacked herself with water from Joel. 

“Yeah, he went to go and change quick,” you said, bending over and checking the bread. Seeing that the bread was done, golden brown but flat, you took it out of the oven and shut the oven off. You stood there glancing at it and then pinched the bridge of your nose, muttering to yourself, “well, it didn't rise right. That yeast must be too old.”

“Still smells amazing darlin', I'm not picky” you heard Joel say, standing close behind you. When you turned around to look at him, you saw a flash of something different.  It almost looked like happiness, something you don’t think you’d ever see Joel have. “Well Ellie, ya want your first taste of a Christmas cookie?” Joel asked, then motioned for Ellie to take one and bite into it first. “Well how does it taste?” He said, smiling at the way her eyes lit up, savoring the bite like it was the best thing that she’d ever tasted. 

After a moment she said “um- wow. That's really fucking good.”

“Language Ellie, Jesus Christ” Joel mumbled. “Damn kid needs to watch her mouth.”

You silently laughed because it was like watching a father and daughter interact once again. Soon Joel bit into the cookie himself, and then he moaned at the taste. “For something so old it sure tastes damn good” he mouthed, cookie still half in his mouth. 

“Yeah, I know you taste good,” you said softly so Ellie couldn't hear.

Joel started sputtering and coughing at the statement of you referencing how he tasted and his age. He grumbled to himself saying, “Dammit woman, you're gonna kill me one of these days. Jesus.”

Ellie was still going on about the taste of the cookie and how it compared to other things she's tried, that she didn’t catch the slight sexual innuendo interaction that you and Joel just had. According to her, the stale taste of the cookie ranked high on her list of her favorites.  The three of you enjoyed a total of two cookies each, agreeing that you should keep the rest for later, just in case Santa would come. Ellie, even though being older, was still holding out hope that a big fat guy in a red Santa suit was actually real.  What she didn’t realize was that she was going to see Santa sometime soon. 

A Day Later

Joel decided to go out hunting, to see if he could bring back a true Christmas feast for you and Ellie. Ellie decided to go with him, saying that she wanted to prove that she would do a better job at shooting something, telling Joel that he couldn’t see.  The same argument that started a few days ago about a book continued as they walked off into the woods together. They were gone a long time and when they returned, it was almost dark out. When they returned Ellie came running inside saying that she shot a deer. You congratulated her, saying that you were proud of her for being an expert marksman. When you went out to help Joel dress the deer, you found him laughing silently to himself.

“What's so funny?” You asked as you slowly approached him.

“That kid over there.” He said, kneeling down and craving into the deer while motioning with his head in the direction that Ellie went. You looked down at him and gestured for him to continue with your hands. “She- uh, she never hit the deer. That one couldn't hit the broad side of a barn, so I had to kill it. But I-I made it look like she did it.” He said laughing and shaking his head.

Joel then told you that when Ellie pulled back the bow and shot at the deer, that she missed.  She had immediately shut her eyes, not seeing if she hit the deer but asked Joel if she did. Joel, having already had his bow drawn, saw that she hit a tree stump only 3 feet away. When he realized that she missed he released his arrow and killed the deer, you three did need to eat after all. However, after he killed the deer, he had decided to tell Ellie that she did it, knowing that it'd make her day. “So ya see, I couldn’t not help the little shit” Joel said laughing out loud. “She made this big fuss about it ahead of time, and I couldn't just break her heart in telling her that all she managed to truly kill was the tree.” 

“Aw you're so sweet, you know that” you said, smiling at Joel looking out for Ellie.

“Yeah, I've been told that a few times I reckon” he said while standing up and looking at you with dark hungry eyes. “I’ve been also called old and an asshole too many times too,” he stated with a smirk, then bending down again to continue to slice into the deer.

You didn't know how to respond to his teasing, so you just stood there silent. After a moment you turned to head back into the house when you heard Joel say, “Te amo, baby.” You still didn't know what he was saying in Spanish, if Ellie was true with her statement, it meant that he loved you. So before you entered the house you gently replied back, “Te amo Joel and Merry Christmas.”

When Joel was finished dressing the deer he cooked the venison. As soon as you bit into the cooked venison you let out a low moan in pleasure. The explosion of flavors with fresh meat felt amazing to your taste buds. Joel hummed in contentment and blushed a rosey red in his cheeks at your outward display of gratitude. You told him that it tasted amazing and that he was the best cook ever, even Ellie agreed with you. 

After the food was consumed, and the table was cleared, the three of you sat around the fire. You and Joel taught Ellie Christmas songs and you three all enjoyed feeling like a family for once. When time came to open up the presents, you could see that Ellie was just like a toddler. She was jumping for joy at seeing things under the tree for her that was wrapped up in old rags as wrapping paper with her name on them.  As she opened her presents, she was excited at what she saw.

Joel gave Ellie a warmer winter jacket, one that he found at the other abandoned cabin that was located about five miles West from where the three of you were.  He found the cabin about a month ago, abandoned just like this one was. He had been bringing over more supplies from there periodically. The jacket that he found was too small for you or him, but it fit Ellie perfectly. When she tried it on she was beaming at how comfortable it felt, and how warm it was. 

You had given Ellie a handmade necklace, made out of different rhinestones that you had found in a storage craft box in the cellar. Crafts were something that you always loved to do when you were younger, and something you’d do in the QZ if you could find them. Joel and you also gave Ellie three joke books that you both found. As soon as she saw them she started crying, saying that it was the most perfect Christmas she’s ever had, and yet the biggest surprise wasn't even there yet. 

Joel and Ellie both gave you a Wilderness Cookbook, something that he found in the other cabin also.  He explained to you that the cookbook had recipes of how to cook rabbit, venison, and other things in the wilderness. You were grateful and thanked them both. Joel then whispered quietly in your ear, “I got something private, just for the two of us to indulge in later.” He said, gently squeezing your knee when you looked up at him with hopeful eyes, questioning him silently for what he had planned.  You then saw Joel slowly open his mouth, sticking just the tip of his tongue out, as he moved the tip of his tongue back and forth fast.  Using the same motions that he did when he’d eat you out. You blushed a dark crimson shade of red and quickly adjusted in your seat. Your panties suddenly felt too tight on you as you pushed your thighs together for some relief at the throb you felt in your core. “Later” he whispered again to you, while giving you another gentle squeeze to your knee and a chaste kiss to your cheek. 

Joel then opened a few Western books from Ellie, ones that you had given her.  You had just finished reading them recently and you knew that Joel wanted to read the books.  So you gave them to Ellie and told her that you had found them at the other cabin and thought that maybe Joel would like to read them. Joel thanked Ellie and acted all surprised at seeing the books. Neither one of you told her that Joel had already asked to borrow them from you whenever you were finished reading them.

Joel then also opened a small homemade bracelet from you that you had made him.  The bracelet had a butterfly pendant attached to it. When he saw it, Joel froze and just looked up at you. “Tess told me that Sarah used to love butterfly’s.” You told him as he gently ran his finger over the pendant. “Joel, if I could give you Sarah I would but-”

“No, it's alright. It's beautiful.” he said, sniffling slightly at the sight. Sarah, his babygirl, God he missed her. After a moment he quickly shook his head and then stood up, remembering that he still had two other gifts to give.  Joel quickly said, “um, excuse me for a moment. I ah- I need to grab something” and then he disappeared by walking outside. Ellie was so focused on her joke books that she never saw Joel leave. All of a sudden you heard a knock at the door, followed by a “Ho, Ho, Ho” behind it. Ellie immediately tensed and you casually went over to the door, holding a gun for good measure, nevermind you knew who was behind the door.  When you opened the door you saw Joel dressed head to toe in a Santa suit. 

“Howdy there little lady- Jesus Christ woman, ya gonna shoot me or somethin’?” he said, shaking his head, looking at the gun you had pointed at him. “I heard y’all been having a hard time here so I thought I’d bring ya some Christmas cheer.”

Ellie immediately started laughing as Joel struggled with the Santa suit. “Joel, you look funny in a fat suit,” she said, laughing out loud at a pillow peeking through his Santa jacket. 

“I haven't heard of no Joel before, I'm Santa.” He said, with a husky voice.

“So what happened to Joel? Did ya kill him when you landed your fat ass on top of him with your sleigh? Crushed him didn't you? It's ok, he probably deserved it. Killed by an old worn out fat guy with no fashion sense. Better than a clicker really, ya know.” Ellie said, laughing.

“Ok, look here wiseass, I ain't no old fat guy.” Joel said, grumbling to himself in his regular voice.

“Well you look ridiculous dressed like that.” Ellie said, doubling over and laughing hard again. You were rolling on the floor with a pillow over your mouth laughing at Joel and Ellie bantering again. You didn't know why, but seeing these two go at each other warmed your heart in a way that you never knew.

When Joel looked over at you he said “You stop your laughin’ over there” as he pulled the pillow out from his stomach and sat down with a huff on the couch. “Got no respect from the younger generation anymore. Ya hear me, no respect. Here I am tryin’ to make your Christmas special and all ya do is laugh at me and-”

“Joel it's ok” Ellie said, interrupting Joel’s little rant.  “We love you anyways Joel, ain’t that right y/n?” Ellie continued, trying to look serious but failing miserably at it.

“Honey, you look amazing and-”

“Both of you just shut it, I know when I'm not loved.” He said, shaking his head and mumbling. “Shouldn't have to give ya both these now, but here ya go.” Joel handed you a small box. “Here ya go wiseass, so you don't feel left out either.” He said, shoving a box in Ellie's hands.

Ellie and you both quieted down and then looked at the little boxes in your hands with a piece of paper folded up over top of them. “Ellie why don't you go first,” you said, wanting her to enjoy the gift.

When Ellie opened the box she found a small seashell bracelet with black thick string with it and the piece of paper was a note that read the following:

My dearest Ellie,

I know I ain't your father, but over the past year you've grown so much on me kid. Ya got that sassy, smartass mouth on ya, and ya got a horrible attitude to boot. But you're strong kid, so strong. And you remind me of what my daughter Sarah was like, but so much more. I know your favorite thing is the Sea and one day I promise I’ll take ya there, and build those sandcastles with you, as tall as me. I love ya kid, like you were my own little baby girl. I wear a copy of your bracelet as a symbol of my love for ya honey. 

Forever, my love for you child, Joel (or Dad if ya want)

After Ellie was done reading the note out loud, you found that you both were crying. Ellie immediately ran over to Joel, hugged him tight, crying into his shoulder saying, “you better fucking mean it. Swear to God you mean this Joel, and don't lie to me.”

“Baby girl, I swear to God everything in that note is true. I love ya like you’re my own honey, like you’re my true daughter cause ya are.” Joel then held Ellie, kissing the top of her head as she cried into his shoulder, this time her tears were tears of joy.  Ellie got her Christmas wish after all, a family, something that she has never had ever in her life.  

After a moment of them holding each other, they pulled apart and both looked at you. It was now your turn to read the note and to open the gift from Joel. You hands were shaking and you were panicking. You wanted more than anything for someone to love you, a man, with no strings attached.  You were scared of what you were going to read in the note.  But with a shaky breath, you opened your note and read it out loud.

Y/n,

The first time I laid eyes on you it was in the QZ and I thought that I had finally died and had gone to Heaven. My heart stopped in my chest darlin’, and I became nervous, still am when I look at ya. I remember thinkin’ that you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, and baby, you still are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. 

The first time I kissed you, I was a goner. Forever to be the only woman that I’d ever want in life again. I used to be so angry, not because I didn’t want ya, but because I thought that I couldn't do any of this right. I couldn't date you properly, marry you, or even have babies with you the way that I’ve wanted to. And baby, I was so angry, I was angry because you deserve all of that from the world, and so much more. But then I realized somethin’, you and Ellie were sent from Heaven above, from my Sarah to help me now. For me to love and be loved once again.

I prayed honey, I prayed so hard for so many years, wanting to see my little girl again that was taken from me. And I don't know how or why, but somehow she sent me you two. And God, if I don't now have something worth fightin’ for. You and Ellie make this life bearable, make me want to live again. And truthfully, I'd be lost without ya both.

Now I know I ain't always good with my words, or tellin’ ya how I feel. But Angel, you mean everything t’me. Now open your gift honey, and let me tell you with the words myself.

You turned to Joel with tears in your eyes and trembling fingers while he gently coaxed you to open your gift.  “Go on darlin', open it.” he said, ever so gently. When you opened your gift you gasped out loud. Inside the box was a ring, a birthstone ring for June, your birth month. You looked shocked at Joel when you saw it. He motioned for you to give him the ring. 

With the ring in his hand he then reached out and held your hands, looking you in the eyes saying, “you mean everything t’me y/n and so much more. If you'll have me, I want you to wear this on a specific finger baby.”

Joel slowly took your left ring finger in his hand while holding the ring in his right hand. “I found this in a jewelry box in that other cabin and I thought Sarah must be telling me somethin’. I know it's not the proper one, but hell, nothin' is proper anymore. I promise if we ever get back to civilization again, I'll do this right. I swear it baby. Please be mine. Forever.”

You looked at the ring that Joel was holding, confusion washing over your face for a moment, not understanding what he was meaning. Joel looked over to Ellie and she smiled, understanding what was happening and gently said to Joel “dad, it’s time to tell mom what you told me in secret before.”

Joel nodded and took a breath to steady his nerves as he looked into your eyes.  When he stared into your eyes he saw your hesitation. Not because you didn't want what he felt, but because you did and you were so scared that he didn't feel the same way. So with renewed confidence he said “I promise I'll do this right later if we can. But y/n-” and then he felt it, the pain searing tight in his chest at the thought of losing this, of losing you. It gripped him so hard, and tried to swallow him whole at the thought that he couldn't keep you safe. He was scared, and frightened at the thought of losing you or Ellie like he did Sarah. But this time as the pain consumed him, his thoughts drifted to Sarah. Sarah knew that her father loved her with everything, even as he held her when she died. 

Joel remembered the night that Sarah was conceived. The way he and Sarah's mom desperately moved in unison together, trying to grab onto something for stability in a world that they felt was falling apart. He never connected with Sarah's mom again after that, it was only on that one night when she was created. It was like the world, the universe, told him that he needed to be a father at a younger age. He felt like that was the reason why his first marriage with Sarah’s mom failed. That they never were truly in love, except for where Sarah was concerned. But now things were different, especially with you. Joel was in love with you in a way that he's never been with a woman before. So with a smile and a chuckle he shook his head, finally finding the strength that he needed, to be able to say the next part out loud.

“Woman, you drive me nuts and make me feel things I, at my age, didn't think I deserved to feel anymore. I used to think you were sent here to torture me, make me pay for all of my sins. But then I saw what it was. That Sarah sent you to me because she had heard my darkest fears, my biggest dreams, and my silent pleas in the night. That I didn’t want to be lonely, that I wanted a family once again.  And that I wanted a woman to love me so bad that it hurt, and not because I forced her, but because she wanted to. And baby, I got you and now you got me. Sarah sent me you and Ellie so I could be happy and not be so lonely anymore.”

With a shaky breath Joel continued, opening his heart even wider for you to see. “I've made mistakes darlin’, said and done the wrong thing most of the time. Hell, I’ve yelled at you and sometimes have treated you horrible, for that I’m sorry. But I'm scared. I'm scared to lose both you and Ellie. I love that kid over there like I was the one who created her, like she was my own daughter. And I view you as if you were her mother and my-” Joel shook his head, feeling the burn in the back of his throat hit as he struggled to say that he viewed you as his wife. 

“Te Amo Joel. I love you” you said, softly towards Joel while holding his hand. Now that you said it, you hoped that he'd say it back. You just wanted him to say it to you in English, to tell you that he in fact did love you, and not just hint at it anymore. You wanted to hear those three words from him. But you never expected him to say what he was about to with you.

After a moment of looking at you he smiled, while looking down at your hands.  He gently squeezed them to remind himself that you were still here.  Then he looked up into your eyes and said, “Ah hell woman, marry me please? I know it's not conventional, but this ring I got you, it goes on your left ring finger baby and I-. Shit. I-I want you in this life and the next, ok. I promise I'll spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you. Te amo baby, it means I love you. I love ya woman, so damn much. And I know I don't deserve it but I'm askin’ anyways. Marry me honey, please, make me the happiest man and I promise I’ll-”

It was in that moment that you crashed your lips hard to Joel’s mouth. You wanted to shut up his rambling but also show him that you were so happy.  That was what the feeling was in your chest right now, happiness, something that you didn’t think you could ever feel or again. As you kissed Joel, a million thoughts were running through your head. You never thought he'd say any of this to you ever. But when you looked inside yourself you knew you loved this man more than anything. Yeah sure, he was cold, moody, and a complete ass sometimes. He hasn’t always done or said the right thing, but he has been there and protected you when other people should have but didn’t, or when others had walked away. To you, that meant more than anything, that he’d stay and was truly committed to you.

When you pulled away from the quick kiss you said out loud “yes. Yes Joel. Te amo baby, te amo. I'll marry you.” And with that admission Joel crashed his lips hard onto your mouth. There was nothing gentle about this kiss that he gave you, it was like the flood gates finally opened and Joel gave you his entire heart and soul right here and now. The kiss said everything that the two of you haven't been able to say to each other. That you both needed each other and that you both were there for each other. 

When you gently parted your mouth for a breath, Joel licked into it in a way that a husband claimed his wife. It was heady and needy. Both of you kissed each other fervently, finally allowing the dam to break between you two. You both were lost in the moment, feeling the passion rise up between you that you had forgotten that Ellie was still in the room.  All of a sudden you heard a heavy sigh followed by a smartass teenage girl. 

“Look here assholes, I ain't wantin’ to watch you two fuck, so can you both tone it down for the kid in the room, please. Joel, you promised me we could have more Christmas cookies and then tell more stories. Come on.” Ellie said, exhaling loudly.

Joel pulled away and snapped saying “Ellie, language.” He fully pulled apart from you, placing the ring on your left ring finger, then gave you a chaste kiss on the mouth while whispering, “we'll continue this discussion later baby.” You gently nodded in return.

The three of you then sat around the fire telling funny stories to Ellie about Christmas. Joel told the classic tale of ‘A Christmas Story’ for the first time to Ellie, something that he still remembered by heart as it was Sarah’s favorite Christmas story. Both Ellie and you eventually fell asleep on the floor, heads touching at the top and holding hands as a family as you both looked up at Joel, listening to him tell the story.

Even after knowing you two fell asleep, Joel continued reciting the story until it was done. When he was finished he grabbed blankets from the bedroom and tucked both you and Ellie in. Smiling to himself he laid down on the couch, content at having a family once again. Joel was relieved that his family, even though unconventional, loved him fully in return. As sleep slowly crept up, he found himself turning to one side and staring at the low light of the Christmas tree. This time, it was as if he could see her again yet again, his Sarah, just sitting down and smiling at him. His heart felt full today, something that hadn’t happened since the last Christmas he had with his daughter, about 20 years ago. As Joel slowly drifted off to sleep he swore he heard Sarah say to him ‘Merry Christmas Dad, here's my Christmas wish for you. For you to have a family once again. And always remember, that I love you.’

-End Chapter-

A/N: This one was a heck of a roller coaster to write on so many emotional levels. These three will be back in the future, got some fun things planned for them. Enjoy, and be sure to check out my other series and one shots in my Master list.

Taglist: @punkshort @shotgun-shelby @strawbunnyx @orcasoul @pedritoferg @chiogarza @jesfreedark @untamedheart81 @rainbow12346 @nandan11 @swiftpascal @eliza-8 @joeldjarin @vickie5446 @nastiasnow @staywildflowahchild @ratoonstown @l3laze @its-always-420-on-the-moon @kirsteng42

[carlottastudios]

OzGlyn Week Day 5: Fighting (with kisses)

[thatgirlwritingficsatnight]

Gift exchange

It’s Christmas Eve, and you’ve forgotten about your Christmas company party. Even worse you forgot to get a gift for the “not so secret Santa” - your company’s tradition. Wanna top it? Make it even worse? No problem. The person you were supposed to get a gift for? Your crush. Defsoul - the most talented, kindest and hottest person alive. What are you going to do now?

pairing: Lim Jaebeom (Defsoul) x reader

genre: smut, fluff, Jaebeom is a producer, Y/N is a manager

warnings: smut: daddy kink, light choking, ass play; foul language (please don’t read it if you’re not old enough)

words: 4989

A/N: TFW you try to write a GOT7 reaction, and you end up with one-shot. I know I’m kinda late with whole christmas theme but i wrote it last night and figured out I could post it anyway.

***

You barely got to shut your eyes before your alarm tore you up from your dreams. It was nine in the morning, and you went to sleep at six AM because of your work. You groaned as you shuffled in bed cursing your job, three hours of sleep was not enough for anyone. Being manager of K-pop girl group was hard enough but being the manager in December when there was award show after award show and festivals - that was a nightmare. To other people December was equal to Christmas, gifts, parties, New Year's Eve but to you, it was synonymous with constant state of tiredness, your biggest wish right now was to spent Christmas break alone, just you and your bed. You sighed as you dragged yourself to shower. Girls had only slept for 5 hours, and you felt bad for them — not only were they invited to each award show that existed they also just have had a comeback. You could see how exhausted they were and yet your superiors still pushed for them to go to some stupid TV show on Christmas Eve. You got yourself ready and went to pick them up and get them to set.

The recording went smoothly, and you were already daydreaming about coming home early and passing out on your bed. It was six PM already, but you still had to drive girls home and step into the office for a bit. You sighed you'd be home eight PM at best - well it was still better than coming home at two or three AM. You were about to go and thank everyone for their hard work when your phone vibrated. It was your best friend and coworker.

"Hey Inha. What's up?"

"I wanted to check if you remember about the company party tonight."

You hit your forehead and groaned.

"OMG! You forgot! Have you bought a gift at least?"

"No..." you whined. You wanted to die. You had so much work lately that you've absolutely forgotten about that party — it was for staff only and each year you'd drew lots to pick the person you were supposed to give a gift to. It wasn't even secret Santa your boss simply came to conclusion that gift exchange would help out with forming friendships...

"Girl... Do you at least remember who you drew?"

Of course you remembered. How could you not. This was your lucky year, you got Defsoul the hottest, kindest and most talented person working for your label. You had a small crush on him since that day he gave up his coffee for you. You were falling asleep standing while girls were recording their vocals, and he chuckled at you before telling you to sit by him and drink some coffee. It probably meant nothing to him but that was one of the most stressful weeks in your life, and you weren't sleeping at all during that time — ITZY were about to make a debut, and you couldn't stop worrying over it. You remember how touched you were by this simple gesture, after all no one ever gave you coffee, usually you were the one getting it for other people. His looks certainly didn't help with your hopeless crush. He was H O T and not even simply hot, more like "I-look-like-an-idol" hot. He had a black mullet, piercing under his eye, he also had his nose and ears pierced to make matters worse for you he also had most hypnotizing almost feline-like eyes. Honestly you wondered why didn't he become an idol with a face and talent like that. After that one time, he would buy you a coffee whenever he had seen you and you two became somewhat close - you'd swing over his studio when girls had to train and talk about everything and nothing. He told you about his cats, his favorite restaurants, his passion for taking pictures and well you mostly told him about your job since you basically didn't have any private life - it really felt pathetic. He even took your photo once - telling you that the picture would help him later when he would be looking for inspiration (it is a mystery till this day how you haven't fainted that evening). One day you were waiting for girls to finish up their dance practice and fell asleep on one of the benches — it was difficult day for you since you haven't slept for twenty hours already (you had to fight off some crazy sasaengs and didn’t sleep whole night keeping an eye on their dorm — some would say you were overdoing it, but to you members of ITZY were like your little sisters). You woke up in his studio on his couch. He carried you there while you were asleep and tucked you in, covering you with his jacket. You were extremely embarrassed, apologetic and thankful at the same time. He chuckled at you before saying that it was okay and forced you to promise that you'd oversleep to work the very next day. Inha claimed he had a crush on you since he never treated her with the same kindness or anyone really. But you knew better, he was a good colleague. A good, extraordinarily attractive colleague you wanted to kiss and lick and...

"Hello? Earth to Y/N??" your friend snapped you from your thoughts.

"I have to go Inha! Thank you for reminding me! Love you!" You checked the time, there was no way you'd manage to drive girls back, buy a gift, get ready for a party and do all that without being late. You sighed you will have to improvise. You drove off girls and came back rushing straight to your apartment. The party started at 10 PM and you had to shower, somehow fix your sleep-deprived face and figure out how you're going to apologize to Def... You were home a few minutes before 8 rushing into your bedroom - at least you knew what you were going to wear. That would be the most expensive, or more like the only expensive piece of clothing you had — a birthday gift from girls. It was an oversized tuxedo jacket from Alexander Wang and you haven't worn it yet. You tried it on, it had quite deep cleavage, and exposed a lot of your legs, but you figured it would be ok for tonight. You smoothed out black velvety material before stepping out of it. You still had to shower and do your makeup. An hour later you were looking at yourself in the mirror — the mask Inha got you really helped out with bags under your eyes. You did good with makeup as well: it was soft brownish smoky eye, orange toned lipstick and some shimmers here and there — you actually looked healthy and well rested (a true Christmas miracle really). You looked even better after getting in your outfit — Ryunjin was right, the tuxedo like dress fitted your vibe. You even wore some black heels which didn't often happen since you always chose comfort over looks when at work.  

Fortunately you got to the party on time even though you couldn't catch a taxi for twenty minutes or so. People inside were already mingling and drinking, and you decided to grab something to drink before looking for Def. You located a small table with champagne in the corner of the room. You downed two glasses as quick as you got there, and were already grabbing a third one when a voice spoke up startling you so much you jumped a little.

"Rough day?" Defsoul was standing next to you, whiskey in his hand, smirking at you. You immediately blushed and gawked at him. He was so handsome it was simply unfair. This man clearly woke up today and chose violence. He was wearing a silky black shirt — and it was quite unbuttoned, so you had a chance of seeing his broad chest (you were currently having a heart attack), and slacks he also styled his hair so that his forehead was exposed with one defiant streak of hair falling onto his brow bone. You wanted to groan. You fucked up — this could've been your chance to get him to like you more...

"Y/N? Are you alright?" he was genuinely concerned, and here you were, basically salivating and staring at him like a starved, nasty man. That was so embarrassing. You cleared your throat and looked away.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm just really tired today..." He smiled at you warmly, and you wanted to punch yourself for not getting him something, anything.

"That's great!" You gave him a confused look, and he bit his lip nervously while scratching the back of his head. He was so cute you could kiss him. Well to be fair you felt like you could kiss him any time. Why...why did you have to forget that bloody gift...

"I mean it's not great that you're tired... It's just… ah, shit I suck at this. Here." He handed you a plastic card, and you read it absolutely puzzled. Lifetime pass for coffee with Jaebeom — it also had a cute chibi character that looked just like Def, except it had some cat ears.

"Now you can get coffee whenever you want. I mean I know you can have it whenever you want anyway, I just thought that maybe you'd like someone to get it with... I mean get it for you… It's ok if you don't like it really, oh by the way I'm Jaebeom, I don't know if I already told you my real name or not…" he was rambling, and you were screaming inside your head. That was so cute. So kind. You wanted to hug him and kiss him so badly. "Ah, shit. I really do suck at this." he said more to himself than to you. You finally looked at him and grinned.

"I love it." you said and his eyes turned into big orbs before light pink colored his cheeks.

"You do?"

"I do. It's a perfect gift." you smiled, your heart swelled with happiness. You could technically go on a date with him whenever you felt like with this handy piece of plastic. That is if he wouldn't start to hate you in the next few minutes for forgetting his present.

"I'm glad." he grinned and it took your breath away. How come he was so perfect? You got even more nervous looking at the gift from him.

"Ah... I was your not so secret Santa as well…" you started.

"Really? So what did you get me?" he was genuinely interested, and you wanted to go back in time and kill yourself for forgetting about this party. You looked up. His eyes were gleaming with curiosity — you were fucked.

"It's me! I'm your gift!" you joked and looked down to cover your nervousness. You were about to say that it was just a stupid joke and apologize before he spoke up.

"I love it." his voice was deeper than normally, and you looked up shocked by it. He was checking you out, his hungry eyes traveling up and down. You've never seen him like that. You could feel warmth spreading on your cheeks under his intense stare, a tight knot forming somewhere near your core in excitement.

"Y-you do?" your voice faltered, and he chuckled while moving closer to you. He smelled musky with a hint of citrus. Your legs were about to collapse under you.

"I do." he hummed he was so close you could feel the warmth radiating from him. His hand brushed against yours as he bent down to reach your ear. You were sure your skin was burning where he touched you. "So, tell me Y/N, when can I unwrap you?" his tone was dark and dangerous and when he straightened up you've seen this gleam in his eyes as he smirked. Your legs felt like made from putty and you'd collapse if his hand weren't already wrapped around your waist. You couldn't believe it was happening. Your heart was beating so hard it was about to spring off your chest — you were wondering if he could hear it. You certainly could even though blood ringed in your ears. You felt your throat going dry and your panties getting moist.

"Def…" you started weakly. Shocked by your own voice — it sounded so needy.

"Call me Jaebeom.." he purred. "Would you like to go to my place? I don't think I can wait any longer to enjoy my gift…" You quavered from excitement, his voice was laced with a promise of sleepless night.

"Yes, let's go." you said and he smiled at you. You were sure you lost any oxygen you still had in your lungs at that moment. His hand left your waist, and you wanted to catch it and wrap yourself with it again. Instead, he grabbed your hand and interlocked your fingers with his, smiling at you sweetly before he led you outside. You couldn't focus on anything else, but his fingers wrapped around yours. His hand was warm, and he held you firmly, his skin soft and delicate. You managed to quickly catch a taxi and through whole drive Jaebeom's hand lazily travelled up and down your thigh. His gentle fingers sending sparks to your core every time he brushed the inside of your leg. You glanced at him, eyes filled with desire — he shivered, and it made you feel a different kind of excitement — you didn't know that you had this kind of effect on him. You got out of the taxi and his hand was instantly on yours, he was almost dragging you skipping every other step as he rushed upstairs to his apartment. He opened the door and let you in. Immediately three cats came in and brushed against your legs. You smiled softly.

"They like you.." Jaebeom murmured against your neck while taking off your coat for you, you gasped at the feeling, and he released low chuckle before he started planting soft kisses against your neck — each time his lips touched your skin your muscles clenched with anticipation. You couldn't wait any longer. You turned around and looked at him, his eyes were glued to your lips and excitement bubbled somewhere below your stomach.

"I waited so long for this..." he started but never got to finish as your lips were on his in a second. Even his lips felt like cotton, and you sighed against him when he kissed you back. He was clearly enjoying slow kisses. You grew impatient once again and licked his lower lip, he gave you access you asked for, and your tongue brushed against his hungrily. You could already feel how wet you were, arousal making your panties stick to you painfully. Jaebeom's hand travelled around your back dropping dangerously low now and then but never grabbing you — you really wanted him to hold you and take you roughly. Once again you grew impatient this night. You took his lower lip in between your teeth, you bit it hard and moaned. That seemed to make him lose his cool, he let out a growl that travelled straight to your core.

"Bad girl..." he said before he turned you around and pushed you against the wall so that your back was facing him. His tongue already on your earlobe, you sighed and shivered when he licked it and let out breaths against wet, sensitive skin. "I wanted to take it slowly, but you're so eager, so impatient…" he was purring into your ear, and you were aching down there more and more with each syllable.

"Jaebeom..." you moaned as you pressed your ass against him. He sucked some breath in when you pushed down against his hard length, his body working on its own accord, one hand already on your hips pressing you harder when the other one cupped your breast. This is not how he envisioned tonight, he thought that he'd at best confess his feelings not have you here crumbling in his hands while moaning his name. Your hips bucked against his by itself as soon as you felt how hard he was. His hand grabbed your clothed breast, and you regretted wearing anything. You wanted to feel him against you naked skin not through layers of clothing.

"Jaebeom-ah..." you moaned his name again, and he rewarded you with sucking on your neck — it was painful yet pleasant, and you almost forgot what you wanted to say before he licked the fresh mark and kissed it. "Didn't you say you wanted to unwrap me?" You said in weak voice still affected by his mouth on your neck. He laughed against your skin, and you thought that's how paradise would sound like.

"You really are impatient... do you want me to fuck you so bad?" he asked rubbing into you, his dick almost in pain from the friction.

"Yes...please..." you panted out, and he let out some animalistic sound upon hearing how needy you were. He made you face him and unbuttoned your tuxedo-like-dress before he tossed it somewhere behind him. You shivered under his stare. He pulled you into him and his hands immediately travelled to your ass, grabbing it and lifting you up without effort. He began kissing your jaw, neck, collarbones, and you tilted your head, so he could have better access. He carried you to his bedroom and laid you down carefully on the mattress before he took a step back. His sheets smelled just like him, and you sighed in pleasure, sinking deeply into his fragrance. He bit his lip seeing you in his bed, wearing nothing but lacy underwear. However, you didn't want just lay and wait, you got up and reached out to his own shirt undoing the buttons hastily, but he didn't let you, he was in control. He held your hands and pushed you back on bed. You bounced and your hair created a sort of crown, spreading around your face — it emphasized your features even more, and Jaebeom felt as if he was making love to some kind of goddess. Your lips, eyes, hair, body everything was perfect. He wanted to taste you already.

"You need to ask me nicely." He smirked at you and you pouted a bit before a mischievous gleam appeared in your eyes. You let one of the straps fall from your shoulder and gave him an innocent look before taking off the other one as well. Just one move and Jaebeom would see your torso naked. He bit his lip unintentionally, when you pushed your breast closer while also moaning.

"Pleeeaaase... undress already and fuck me... daddy." He groaned - you'd be the end of him. He quickly tore any clothes that were on him leaving only his boxers on, and you stared him down hungrily. Saying he was beautiful was and understatement. He was perfect. His skin was light and smooth, it gleamed in the moonlight that illuminated the room through a small window located right above the headboard. It was still dim, but you could clearly see the outline of muscles on his stomach, and a tempting v line, waiting for you to be licked on his abdomen.

"Take off your bra." he ordered and you obediently followed. His eyes devoured your glistening breasts, two darker beads already hard and inviting him in. He licked his thumb and brushed it against your nipple watching intently for your reaction. You didn't disappoint him as you arched your back hungry for his touch. He took another one into his mouth, his tongue making circles around it for what felt like forever. The sound of his wet licks and your quickened breath feeling the silence of the room. You squeezed your legs looking for any kind of release, it didn't help much. Your core was aching and since you could only wait for him to bring you pleasure you closed your eyes and focused only on the sole path of his tongue. It was almost like a torture and Jaebeom seemed to enjoy it greatly, lazy licks, circles around your nipples, blowing cold air on them to hear your whines. And so when he finally sucked on your swollen nipple you moaned his name so loudly his neighbors could hear you. His dick twitched in his boxers. He couldn't wait for much long either, you were the most beautiful person he ever saw, and you were squirming under him, waiting for him to fuck you. He was honestly shocked he didn't take you against that wall in his hall when you pushed your ass against him. He smirked at you, he haven’t even fucked you yet and you were already having this kind of expression. His lips travelled from your breast lower and lower before his face hovered above your panties, hot breath on your wet, clothed pussy sending you almost over the edge. You looked down at him, his eyes were full of lust. He was so beautiful you felt like it was just a dream, not reality. When he pressed his nose against your wet folds you moaned again. He inhaled it a few times as if it was the most ravishing smell in the world.

"You smell so good I might go crazy." He actually was going crazy as his cock let out a bit of pre-cum only upon him smelling your pussy.

"Daddy... please..." you pleaded looking him in the eyes, he couldn't take it any longer. In one swift move he tore the panties off you, they were soaked, and he sniffed them one last time before throwing them out.  He took off his own underwear, and knelt between your legs his cock in his hand already.

"You're so wet for me. Such a good girl, I'm going to fuck you so good." he purred out, and you could go off his words only. He put on condom quickly and teased your entrance before sliding into you slowly. He was watching your face intently as he didn't want to cause you pain.

"Just don't move for a second, you're so big I need to get used to the stretch." It was painful a and pleasant at the same time - the way he filled you up. He didn't buck his hips as you asked, instead he kissed your lips, your jaw, neck, and you kissed him back with passion. Soon he started rocking into you and you moaned into his mouth.

"Harder." you managed to say between the panting and kissing. He straightened up and increased the tempo, sweat building on his forehead.

"Harder..." you said and his hand went to your throat while he almost crushed into you. He choked you lightly, and you felt the orgasm building already.

"Daddy... harder..."

"You dirty girl. On all fours." You obediently followed his order and soon he was fucking you doggy style, his hand spanking you lightly. "You like that? You like when daddy takes you hard?" His voice was so low you shivered under him.

"Yes, daddy." you moaned out when his huge dick filled you with each thrust.

"You're so dirty and good to your daddy. I will reward you and play with your other hole." Before you could say anything he spat on your ass and his finger danced around the other entrance. Just that was enough for you to see white. Your toes curled and your head went back, you screamed his name like it was the only thing keeping you alive, and you could feel how he twitched inside you when you clenched around him in orgasm spasm.

"Y/N, ah... I'm cumming, I'm…" he said through gritted teeth while pounding into you. You both reached your highs and fell onto the bed. He discarded the condom and started kissing your back lazily.

"Do you want to shower together?" he asked.

"Yes, but I don't think I have enough energy to go for another round…" you said while turning his way. He was looking at you lovingly, his expression completely fucked out. He was beautiful, the most handsome you've ever seen him actually. You sighed when his fingers brushed off hair from your face in sweet gesture.

"That's ok, I'll just shower you and we can go to sleep." You nodded, and he took your hand and guided you to his bathroom. He switched on the shower and pulled you under the water when it was warm already. He was so delicate with you, soaping your body, shampooing your head. You smiled at him warmly, and he chuckled.

"You're really cute." he said with a smile after making and weird shapes out of your shampooed hair.

"Stop it, I'll blush." you said while getting under the water, he was quickly spooning you, kissing your back almost with devotion.

"Good, you're even cuter when you blush."

You both towelled yourself dry and Jaebeom even brushed your hair for you before pulling you back to bed. You cuddled your face into his chest and he closed his arms around you. You didn't know if it was one-night stand only, but you'd worry about your possibly broken heart in the morning since his scent was already inviting you to the dreamworld.

You woke up to some rumbling. You opened your eyes and shot up, fear washing over you — that wasn't your bedroom. Memories of last night came next, and you fell back to the sheets squealing quietly into his pillow. That's when the realization hit you. What if it was just one-night stand, and you were rolling around his bed happily in love like an idiot? You sighed but before you could do anything, the man in question came to the bedroom smiling at you warmly.

"You finally woke up sleepyhead." He sat next to you and bend down to kiss your cheek. You looked down. "What's wrong? Have I done something?" He looked concerned.

"I.. no." You said sitting up, and he raised his brow on you. Ugh, he was looking great wearing a plain gray hoodie. You sighed.

"Was that one just for one night? If it was a one-night stand tell me now before I do something stupid."

"One-night stand?" He looked at you offended. "One-night stand?! Do you even know for how long I've been crushing on you? It was few years of my desperate attempts to ask you out, buying you coffee, looking for you constantly. Hell, I even made Yugyeom exchange the stupid lottery draw with me, so that I could give you that card. I actually thought that would helped me out with asking you out. One-night stand?! Jesus, Y/N, he made me basically his slave for a day, and you're asking me if it's one-night stand?" He was angry, and you looked at him shocked, you have never seen him like that. "Do you want this to be one-night stand?!" he raised his voice again.

"No!" you answered him immediately.

"No?! Great, then you can... wait you said no?" He cleared his throat, and you could actually see him smiling like an idiot before he cleared it again. "Well… good because I made us lunch already, and it would go to waste otherwise." He tried to act cool. You giggled at him and pushed him down before sitting on top of him.

"You're cute." You said and he blushed looking away.

"I'm not."

"Yes you are. You are the cutest actually." He groaned in response getting even more red, and you giggled once again. It was the first time you got him to blush so much, usually it was just light pink appearing on the apples of his cheeks. You kissed his face leaving pecks all over it, he chuckled before speaking again.

"I don't want this to be one-night stand. I like you I was actually planning on asking you out yesterday."

"You were?"

"I was. So would like to go out with me?" he wiggled his brows at you and you grinned before nodding.

"Mmm. I'd love to." you answered and he pulled you for a lazy kiss.

"Come, I prepared some food for you. It's hardly festive, but it's something"

"I'm sure it's great. I just need to put something on myself first."

"You can have my hoodie and sweats." he said while looking through his cabinet. "Here." He handed you clothes and blushed once again mumbling that he will wait for you in the kitchen. He got embarrassed — that was just too cute.

You slipped in his clothes, his smell wrapping around you. You got out of the bedroom only to be greeted by three cats purring and brushing against your legs. You smiled and petted them, scratching them on their chins. Jaebeom was just standing and staring at you, still not believing his luck. You were wearing his blouse, it was hanging on you like a dress basically and his heart ached at this picture. You looked up and grinned.

"They like me!"

"I'm pretty sure they're going to like you more than they like me." He chuckled. "Now come, let's eat."

You nodded and entered his kitchen, there was kimchi jjigae and rice prepared for both of you. You smiled and sat down already salivating because of the delicious smell.

"Merry Christmas Y/N." He said looking up from his dish.

"Merry Christmas Jaebeom." You smiled at him lovingly. "So what did Yugyeom made you do?"

"Don't even ask." He said and you giggled. Let's just say you didn't get to spend the Christmas break alone in the bed like you wished.

[mc-lukanette]

- Luka sees the bees coming and warns Marinette. Marinette pushes him, demanding that he get on his bike and go. Luka hesitates because she's basically asking him to leave her, but Marinette asks, "Do you trust me?" which Luka does and bikes away while she runs in the opposite direction.

- Meanwhile, Adrien and Kagami's kiss goes through. They both see the bees and, similar to Luka and Marinette, head off in different directions.

- Both Aqua Ladybug and Aqua Chat Noir re-find Luka and Kagami, then bring them into the water/have them jump in and give them the breathing apparatuses.

- They go to the battle taking place with Miracle Queen. The only difference in the Miracle Queen scene is that Luka and Kagami aren't there and Nino also looked up at Master Fu when he was told to get his miraculous, making his identity as Carapace obvious (that was always weird to me in the episode how Nino didn’t really do that).

- Ladybug still feels like this is all her fault. Luka and Kagami can't offer verbal help, but Chat helps and Luka+Kagami place reassuring hands on each of her shoulders.

- Ladybug devises a strategy. She pulls out the dragon, asking Kagami to help one more time because she has an idea.

- Cut to Miracle Queen. Out of nowhere, they hear, "WIND DRAGON!" and the bees are thrown a massive distance away. Miracle Queen clutches the Miracle Box for protection and we see the snake disappear from its slot. When everyone starts looking around, Miracle Queen notices that Max isn't Pegase anymore.

- Hawk Moth is shocked, then hears a sound coming from inside Fu's Shell-ter. Aqua Horse-Chat pokes his head through with a Cheshire grin. "Don't mind me. I'm just here to pick up my grandfather." Fu grabs Chat's hand and Chat pulls him inside.

- With everyone still in the water (Fu holding his breath), Ladybug gives Fu a hug and explains that they'll need Shell-ter since Ryu Kenshi (the new Ryuko, decked out in a new outfit to protect her identity: "kenshi" is the word for a practicer of kendo but it can also mean "swordsman"/”swordswoman”) can't use Wind Dragon again. However, Fu slips off the turtle bracelet and hands it over to Ladybug, metaphorically symbolizing the future transfer of guardianship.

- Everyone leaps out of the water, Chat carrying Fu. The aqua transformations drop. Luka transforms into Viperion. Ladybug feeds Wayzz with a macaron and has him unify with Tikki.

- They land on the battlefield. The bees charge forward and the butterfly sentimonster gets into the fray (due to no longer having Fu's shield to break into). Turtle Bug (that's apparently the naming theme so why should I bother? :P) smirks at Hawk Moth, then uses a combination of Shell-ter and ladybug to make a large pink shield that seems to have the spinning effect that the yoyo shield does, making it hard to peer inside.

- Hawk Moth shouts to get the guardian, Miracle Queen chiming in with, "YEAH, WHAT HE SAID."

- Fight ensues. It's Rena Rouge, Roi Singe, and the butterfly sentimonster (technically Nino and Max too but--well--you can imagine how useful that is) against Turtle Bug, Chat Noir, Viperion, and Ryu Kenshi. Fu is a distraction of sorts since the mind-controlled heroes want to get the guardian.

- It’s also the most even team Chat Noir will ever be on since he knows both Kagami and Luka’s hero identities, which is a nice bonus for him.

- Similar scenario happens to before (the set-up using Roi Singe), but there's more tension because one single part of the shield can't be opened like in the original. The shield is dropped, the bees charge forward, but Chat gets Roi Singe to throw the power-disruptor at Miracle Queen (who's been comically circling the shield this whole time, trying to figure out what's going on). The bees explode into confetti, Turtle Bug pulls Miracle Queen in, and Chat Cataclysms her object.

- (note that Miracle Queen could also have been participating in the fight provided that she can't summon her bee minions)

- Since she's already used Shell-ter and doesn't need it anymore, Turtle Bug dismisses Wayzz. Same happens as in the episode where Ladybug tries to convince Queen Bee not to be on Hawk Moth's side and Queen Bee, in response, starts throwing on miraculouses. Fu shouts at her not to do that, but she's not listening. The butterfly sentimonster (worn down from the fight but still able to move) tries to attack again, but Ladybug ties it up with her yoyo.

- Hawk Moth is confident with Queen Bee throwing on the miraculouses, but same thing happens where the kwami won't transform Chloe since she doesn't know their names. Fu makes a speech about how you can't get a miraculous you feel entitled to. Hawk Moth comments on how he's still going to win and force Fu to tell him the heroes' identities.

- Ladybug smiles, pointing up at him. "Really? Because Ryu Kenshi looks ready to fight you up there."

- Hawk Moth and Mayura turn around to see Ryu Kenshi (yeah, really should’ve thought about the whole “being on an unprotected roof when the superheroes can jump” thing), who's grinning at them. They pale and Ryu Kenshi uses Lightning Dragon to zap them, knocking them off the rooftop. The butterfly sentimonster reacts and frees itself from Ladybug's yoyo, catching the two and immediately flying off. Ryu Kenshi, angered by the retreat, starts to shout for Wind Dragon before remembering that she's already used it. She and Chat go off to see if they can catch the villains.

- Queen Bee tries to escape with the Miracle Box. Ladybug gets her with her yoyo and Queen Bee falls over, dropping the box. Master Fu walks over and picks it up gently, giving Queen Bee a critical look as Queen Bee rants about how the miraculouses are rightfully hers.

- "I'M Queen Bee, I'M the rightful owner of that box, and I--" Suddenly, the de-transformation light washes over her. She turns around, seeing Viperion holding the bee miraculous with a Did you seriously forget I was here? expression.

- Chloe is enraged, flipping out as she removes all the miraculouses and tosses them to the ground since she's surrounded now. Viperion and Fu are in the process of picking them up (absolutely ignoring her like this is just a typical Monday) while Chloe rants to Ladybug about how she betrayed her.

- Chloe leaves in a huff. Ryu Kenshi and Chat Noir return, disappointed that they couldn't catch Hawk Moth or Mayura. Ladybug uses Lucky Charm to prepare to use Miraculous Ladybug, summoning the key ring that she does in the original. Fu recognizes it and admits that, even though she may have made a mistake, she couldn’t have predicted Hawk Moth following her and he would've seen her identity had she gone to de-transform. He adds that this is also partly on him as well; he took far too long to start training "his protege" (being vague about who that is because the other heroes are here) and he clung to the Miracle Box because of it. Though, he adds solemnly that Hawk Moth has the tablet with the translated grimoire. Ladybug gasps, but Fu assures her that he still has his phone (the thing he used to take pictures of the grimoire pages in "The Collector"), and he can easily translate the pages over again since he's already done it once.

- Ladybug uses Miraculous Ladybug and everyone parts after Viperion and Ryu Kenshi give back the miraculouses. Fu stops Ladybug from leaving and simply states that it's time he pass on the guardianship to her. He hesitantly goes to recite the phrase, but Ladybug stops him and reminds him that he already changed the "dumb guardian rules" in order to teach her, so why can't they do that here? They then smile at each other and Fu hands over the box, promising to send Ladybug the translated grimoire over text.

- Fu still goes off with Marianne, the two promising to go back into hiding together just in case Hawk Moth thinks to go after them. Marinette is a little sad to see them go, but Fu assures her that she can call him if she needs anything. He also gives her the non-Lucky Charm version of the key, assuring her that everything she needs (like the thing he used to hide the Miracle Box in, though Marinette would repurpose/repaint it to fit her room and look stylish) is in the locker that the key fits into.

- Same scene with the ice cream happens, but while Luka still plays his song, Marinette is considering the stuff Fu wrote in the letter in the locker (it's still all philosophical and stuff even though no memory wipe ended up being needed) and Fu had noted that the burden Marinette carries is heavier than ever now and she shouldn't be afraid to rely on others should she need it (you know, like he should’ve).

- Finally, Marinette looks over to Luka and says, "Luka, do you remember what you said to me when you were--" She blushes lightly at the memory of them hugging. "--you know?" He nods, and she pauses before adding, "I do actually have something to tell you."

- The next scene is Marinette taking Luka into her room and revealing the location of the new Miracle Box, signifying that Luka is essentially Marinette's confidant now.

- Cut to Gabriel with the fixed peacock miraculous for tension and the episode ends.

[itsadamcole]

all i want (for christmas)

fem!reader x roderick strong

it’s been four months since reader and roderick strong broke up. It’s been four months since they last talked, until they’re both invited to the same Christmas Eve party ... “all i want for christmas is for you and me to fix this”

word count: 3k+

warnings: angst, a little fluff, sad!reader, cheating accusations, mentions of cheating

— this is kinda based on liam payne’s “all i want (for christmas”. i love this christmas song so much —

masterlist || part 2 || request an imagine here

***

"Yeah, of course," you say, forcing a smile as you talk to Adam Cole. "I'll be there. I'm not going to let what happened get in the way of holiday celebrations."

Adam smiles, happy. "Yay," he says. "I'm sure the guys wouldn't mind see you there. It's been a very long time. Britt's even been saying how she misses hanging out with you and seeing you."

You give a little laugh and say, "Maybe I'll just steal her away from you for the night."

His smile fades and he jokes, "Don't you dare. I'd like to see my girlfriend at some point during the party."

"I'll think about it," you say. "See you in a few hours then."

Adam nods and walks off. The smile you've been managing to force drops immediately after he turns his back to you.

You would rather do anything else then attend a Christmas party that you know your ex-boyfriend will be attending. It's the Undisputed Era's annual Christmas party. They wear their green Undisputed Era sweaters and rent out a rental hall for the night from about seven until midnight the day before Christmas.

It's about three in the afternoon and there are four hours until the Christmas Eve party. You leave the Performance Center gym at four after you're done working out your anxiety about the party.

You head back to the house that you bought with said ex-boyfriend. You never found a place to move to after the breakup so you've been living here for the last four months.

After showering and blowdrying your Y/H/C colored hair, you curl your long locks and do your makeup. You do a dark red eye shadow with matching lipstick.

Once your hair and makeup are done, you walk to your closet. You look for anything that you could wear to a Christmas party. You find a dark red sequin dress.

The dress is short. ending about halfway down your thighs, with three-quarter sleeves. The sleeves cut off about halfway down your forearm, not quite reaching your wrists. The neck cuts right across your collarbone area, not showing a hint of cleavage. Usually, you'd wear something that shows off your chest but you decide against it tonight.

To complete the look, you put on a pair of dangly red diamond earrings and a silver bracelet. You wear a pair of dark red heels to match the sparkly dress.

As you finish getting ready, your phone begins to ring. You walk over to see that Kyle O'Reilly is calling. You sigh and answer the phone, saying, "Yes, Kyle. Relax. I'm about to leave to go to the party."

"Adam made me call," he says. "I told him to relax and that if you said that you would be there then you would. You're not one to back out on promises."

You close your eyes and sigh. Adam didn't make him call. You one-hundred percent knew that it was Roderick who made him call. You also knew that it was Roddy who made Adam ask you if you would come to the party.

"Tell Roderick that I'll be there," you say. "And don't tell me that it was actually Adam that made you call. I know it was Roddy."

Kyle stammers, "It definitely wasn't, uh, Roddy. He's, um, busy?"

You roll your eyes and say, "Sure. See you in a few, Kyle."

You hang up the phone and make sure you have everything you'll need. You take your car keys and leave the house.

The drive to the rental hall isn't that long. Well, it's close to forty five minutes that's not long enough to calm the anxiety you're feeling and the butterflies in your stomach.

It's been four months since you and Roddy broke up. You see each other at work all the time but something about an unprofessional atmosphere that is sending you into an anxiety attack as you drive.

Your hands are sweaty and your breathing is a little labored as your mind races. You have no idea what could happen tonight. You're terrified.

After you pull into a parking spot, you sit in the car watching several other wrestlers walk into the large building. It's close to seven before you get it together.

You form an objective as you click into the building. Find Britt Baker and don't leave her side.

Britt is your friend outside of WWE. You met her through Adam. You have several other friends that wrestle in AEW because of Britt introducing you since she wrestles for the brand. You hope that they're here too.

Christmas music blares from almost every direction of the room. You spot several pieces of mistletoe hanging on the ceiling as you look around at the decorations.

The boys definitely go all out but it's mostly Britt that makes them go all out. If it were up to the boys then there's be one tree and a few lights. But the room is full of decorations. A few trees are stationed throughout the room with bright bright lights. Gold garland is draped throughout the ceiling, almost hiding the green mistletoe.

The tables have red and green covers on them and each table has a little winter or Christmas themed figure in the middle.

"Ahh, Y/N!" you hear someone shout. You look to the left and see Britt Baker walking toward you with her arms out. She hugs you. "It's been too long, Y/N."

You smile and hug her back before you say, "It definitely has."

Britt pulls back and asks, "You holding up okay? I know how hard it must be to be here."

You nod and say, "I'm okay, I think. I'm just going to hope that I get through the night with no tears."

She smiles and says, "Well, you can stay by me. I was just hanging out over there with Reba and Brandi until I saw your cute ass walk through the door. That dress looks fabulous on you."

"Thank you," you say. "That dress looks good on you too."

Britt's wearing a strapless form-fitting red dress with a black belt around her waist. The top of the dress and the hem of the skirt is trimmed with white fluff. She's definitely dress as a more modern version of Mrs. Claus.

Your best friend smiles and says, "Thank you. Okay, lets go back to Reba and Brandi. We'll make sure you have fun tonight. No tears shall be shed while you're with us."

You laugh and walk over with Britt to Reba and Brandi Rhodes. Both Reba and Brandi both compliment your outfit. "It was a very last minute decision," you'd say when they compliment you, making both of them laugh.

As you're drinking and laughing with the girls, Adam walks over. He hugs his girlfriend from behind and kisses her cheek. "I hope that Y/N will let you come see me eventually," Adam says. "I'd like to spend some time with you."

Britt laughs and says, "Now now, Adam. She's having fun and that's our goal for tonight."

Adam nods and says, "It is." He looks at you as you take a sip of your egg nog. "He wants to see you at some point tonight, Y/N. He's sulking and staying away from you though. Please just go say hi to him and say thank you to him for inviting you."

You give a shaky sigh and glance around the room for your ex-boyfriend. You find him in a corner of the room as he talks to Kyle, Bobby, and one of the new girls that have started training at the Performance Center.

He's laughing at something the girl said and your heart wretches in your chest. "I think he's fine," you state. "And I think I'm gonna call it a night."

All the fun you were having for the past hour or so has washed away and now all you want to do is curl up on the couch with hot chocolate and watch Christmas movies on Netflix until you fall asleep. You don't want to be here anymore. No, you can't be here anymore.

As you start to get up, Adam says, "Y/N, I didn't mean to upset you."

You look at the leader of the Undisputed Era and say, "No, it's okay. I just promised myself no crying and if I stay then that's what's going to happen if I stay so I have to go."

Britt looks at you and says, "I'll come outside with you. Maybe I can convince you to stay."

The walls begin to close in on you and you shake your head. "No, that's okay," you say. "Enjoy the party."

You take once last glance at Roddy to see that he's looking at you before you start to walk toward door.

Your throat has closed up on you as you hold back tears. You walk to your car as you remember the laughter coming from Roddy as the girl said something.

"Y/N!" someone calls behind you as you reach the door.

The voice makes you almost lose it right then and there. You turn to see Roderick Strong walking behind you with a concerned look on his face. You shake your head and walk out onto the balcony area. On either side of this area are stairs that lead to the parking lot so technically you're just outside. The cool breeze whips through your hair and hits your face as you walk outside.

Roddy follows you. "Y/N, wait," he says. You sigh and look at your ex-boyfriend.

"What?" you ask, voice cracking. "Are you here just to walk out of my life again?"

Things didn't end very nicely between you and Roddy.

***

"Baby?" Roderick asks behind you.

You stand in your shared bedroom, holding his phone in your hands. Tears falling down your face as you look at the text notifications from his ex-wife on the lit up screen.

Roderick says, "Y/N? What's wrong?"

You sigh softly and read, "Roddy, love, when are you coming over? We want to see you tonight. Please text me when you get these." When you're finished reading, you look at your boyfriend. "What the fuck, Roddy? You told me it was over with her."

Roddy says, "It has been, Y/N. For two years."

"'Love'?" you say. "It's over but she still calls you 'love'. Okay, Roderick."

He walks over to you and he says, "It's not what it looks like, Y/N."

You cry, "I don't believe you, Roddy. I don't. I've seen you around her. You're happier when you're around her then you are with me. You constantly flirt with her and you disappear for days on end right after you talk to her."

Roderick says, "That's to see my son. You know that, Y/N. Do you really think that I'd cheat on you?"

"I don't know," you say. "You never let your son come over here and you just go over to her house. I've never even met your son after close to two years of dating. What's your lie for that?"

He looks slightly hurt as he says, "Because he's only three-years-old and he doesn't understand that his parents aren't together anymore. Adding you in there will only confuse him more. I've been waiting for the right time to introduce you to him, Y/N."

Things start to come together in your mind. That's a perfectly valid excuse. Troy is only three. He would be confused if you suddenly appeared in his life. He wouldn't understand why his parents aren't together. Roddy and his wife split shortly after Troy's first birthday and they've been co-parenting for years.

"I can't believe that you'd actually think I'd cheat on you," Roddy scoffs. "After two years, I thought you knew me better than that."

You immediately jump into defense mode as you say, "I'm sorry. I just never thought about how me being in Troy's life would confuse him. You're just gone for days on end and I-"

"Apparently don't trust me," Roderick says. He walks to the closet and grabs a suitcase. He puts clothes in it. "You don't trust me when all I do is go see my son, who I rarely get to see in the first place."

You say, "Roddy, please, I'm sorry. Please stay, let's just talk it out." You walk up to him and wrap your arms around his waist, not wanting to let go.

Roderick looks at you and says, "You don't trust me so why would I stay?" You look up at him and stay quiet. "Exactly." He takes his phone from you and walks toward the door.

You stand in the middle of the room, tears falling down your face. He stops, with his back turned to you and for a moment, you think he'll stay.

Your hopes are diminished as he walks down the hallway and down the stairs. Once the front door opens and closes, you start to cry. He left. He's gone.

***

You and Roderick stand face-to-face, alone for the first time in months.

"I never left," Roderick says. "You didn't trust me when all I did was leave to see my son."

Guilt hits you instantly and you say, "You could have stayed and we could have talked. I could have explained why I thought that you were cheating."

Roddy crosses his arms and he says, "So explain."

You say, "It's been four months, Roddy. What's the point?"

"I want to know if there was a reason behind why you thought that I was cheating on you," he says. "So explain."

You lean against the railing and you sigh. "It's because it wouldn't be the first time," you say. "When I first started in NXT, I met this guy and he would leave for a few days every few weeks. He would tell me he was visiting family. I received a DM from a girl who told me that she just found out that he was dating me and told me that him and her were dating each other. She had no idea about me. That's why I freaked out like I did because all I could think about was that message. I'll admit, I freaked out more than I should have but I was scared that it was happening again."

Roderick's expression and posture has softened as you explain your reasoning behind your freak out a few months ago.

Your words hang in the air for a few moments and you avoid looking at Roderick as soon as you're done talking.

Roderick finally breaks the silence when he says, "Kyle told me that you knew it was me that put him up to calling you earlier and that it was me that sent Adam to ask you to come. I wanted you here tonight, Y/N."

You finally look over at Roddy and ask, "Why? I thought you wouldn't want me around anymore after what happened."

"Because all I want this Christmas is for you and me to fix this," he says, reaching out and taking your hand. You look up at him with tear filled eyes. "I've missed you, Y/N. These past four months have been hell for me. I haven't gone a day without thinking about you and what would happen if we fixed things."

The tears start to fall down your cheeks as you listen to Roddy talk. You wait until he's done talking before you ask, "Why did it take you so long to try and fix this? Why did it take you four months?"

A car door closes and Roderick looks at the car. I look to see Roddy's ex-wife holding her son's hand. Her and Roddy's son. Troy.

Roderick says, "I've spent the past four months talking to Troy with Marina. We've been trying to get him to understand that his parents aren't together but that we're still his parents. Marina was talking to him about you, Y/N. She's been trying to get him to understand that she's his mother but that I'm with someone else."

Marina and Troy walk up the stairs and you look at Roddy. He looks at you before walking over to Marina and Troy. You stand in the same spot as Troy is picked up by Roddy. You see Roderick say something to Marina as she hands him a bag that was on her shoulder. She walks away and Roddy walks over to you with Troy.

Troy is looking at you and Roderick says, "So, Y/N. This is Troy. My son. This is the reason I left for a few days every few weeks."

You look at Roddy and ask, "After everything, you still want me to meet your son?"

Roderick nods and says, "I'm hoping that we'll fix things and that the past four months wouldn't have been a huge waste."

Troy says, "Y/N."

You raise your eyebrows and look at Troy. He smiles and holds his arms out to you. Roderick hands the toddler to you and you look at Roddy as you hold Troy in your arms.

Roderick smiles at the sight in front of him. "So what do you say?" he asks. "Give me a chance to fix things with us?"

You glance at Troy before looking at Roderick, saying, "Yes."

[mamichigo]

Title: picture frame

Pairing: Dazai/Atsushi

Rating: G

Word count: 1,7k

Tags: Fluff, Domestic, Established Relationship, Writer Dazai, Photographer Atsushi

Summary: "Your tired smiles, your warm eyes. I collect all the important parts of you, protected by picture frames."

Notes: This is my gift for @katsuriya! (Katsu ily). Written for @dazatsu-exchange.

*

"Can't you guys just do whatever you want? It's not like I would know anything about organizing events like this. Yeah, I know I signed up for it but— Kunikida-kun, this is torture! You're bullying your author! I'm gonna die of a heart attack… Yes, yes, I'll do it, geez."

Dazai had been on the phone with his editor for the better part of the last two hours. Atsushi watched him pace around the low table of the living room. If it were possible, he would've digged holes with the force of his footsteps alone. After that last sentence, Dazai cycled through a series of empty "uh huh", "yes", "alright", until he finally put the phone down with a sigh.

"Atsushi-kun…" Dazai whined. He slumped, then crouched, then finally lied down with his face to the floor. "This is unbearable."

"Is Kunikida-san being strict as usual?"

"As usual? It's much worse than that!" Dazai slapped the floor weakly. "Just because it's almost New Year, it shouldn't affect my schedule. But I have the deal with the manga department now, and I'm technically the co-author, plus they can't get anything through without my approval. I've been pulled into their holiday season events, it's awful."

Atsushi, feeling sympathy for the clearly overworked author, padded his way and joined Dazai on the floor. He sat down on his knees and patted Dazai's head gently.

"Thank you for your hard work."

Dazai gurgled some sound that Atsushi couldn't decipher the meaning of, and made no further attempt to communicate. Atsushi continued to play with Dazai's hair until he had wallowed long enough to feel ready to roll over and look up at Atsushi. There were clear dark circles under his eyes.

"This is what happens when you actually do your work," Dazai whispered mutinously.

Atsushi laughed and threatened to let his editor know he said that. Dazai, betrayed, pinched Atsushi's thigh. Because Atsushi was a good person and he loved his partner very much, he ignored the sting and leaned down to kiss Dazai's cheek.

"Would you let me do a photoshoot with you?" Atsushi asked.

Dazai lolled his head to nuzzle against Atsushi's knee. He looked up at Atsushi questioningly. "Right now?"

"Only if you want to," Atsushi reassured. "Nothing fancy, you don't even need to change clothes. I think it'd be a nice distraction."

Dazai hummed; Atsushi felt the vibrations up his leg. He squirmed a little.

"If it is your desire, then it is also mine, there's no request I would refuse except for those that cause you harm," Dazai said in a low voice. It sounded like a quote, maybe from something he was working with. Though, it could just as easily be something he came up with on the spot. It was hard to tell, with Dazai.

"You're really too much," Atsushi admonished.

Dazai laughed, tired but carefree. "If you insist, then, in normal terms that's a yes."

"Let me get my camera."

Atsushi got up to do that and changed the lens to one of his best ones. Besides that, Atsushi didn't bother with any other equipment, though the lights and reflectors that seemed to be in Dazai's place more than his own were readily available. These pictures were just for himself, so he would work with whatever lighting there was.

(There was a special allure to Dazai that couldn't be captured quite right in artificial light.)

Dazai was still in the same spot when Atsushi came back, drawing invisible patterns with his index finger and whispering to himself.

Atsushi waited until he stopped to ask, "New idea?"

"A flash of inspiration that might save me from my writer's block in the future."

"That's some powerful inspiration."

Dazai raised his hand to Atsushi, who helped him up by the arm. Dazai rose in a smooth arc, directly into Atsushi's embrace. Atsushi poked him the ribs and pushed him away.

"I can't take your picture with you clinging to me like that."

"Ah, love is such a fickle and cruel thing," Dazai said. Despite his words, he stole a kiss as soon as Atsushi's attention flickered to his camera. "What do you have in mind this time?"

"Something for the New Years sounds fitting."

Atsushi explained what he had imagined, and Dazai, knowing the layout of his own house much better than Atsushi, suggested the locations that would be most fitting for the setting. It was a good thing that Dazai already wore a kimono as his default outfit, with the addition of his most comfortable haori and a fortune charm that he held in his calloused right hand, it made for enough of a nice image to go with the theme. Atsushi held back from saying anything when Dazai held the charm to his lips in an almost kiss, his eyelashes lowered delicately.

Not for the first time, Atsushi was impressed by the sheer size of Dazai's house. Every time they did one of these photoshoots, Atsushi felt the house became warmer; all the corners that were too empty, too sparse were filled with movement. The ghosts lingered less like this.

For the final picture, Atsushi directed Dazai back to the low table. Thankfully, the sliding door facing the garden let in enough light to capture Dazai in the gray hues of winter with his face half illuminated by it. It made for a pretty picture, even if Dazai ruined the atmosphere by biting into a mandarin like he would an apple. Atsushi's eyebrow twitched.

"Atsushi-kun, this isn't even an actual kotatsu," Dazai complained as he flopped down while Atsushi checked the last series of pictures. "This entire photoshoot is a sham."

Atsushi paused to raise his eyebrows at Dazai. He looked pointedly at the low table. "So now you admit it's not a kotatsu?"

"Well, it has the table and the warm blanket over it. It's close enough, right?" Dazai patted the tabletop. "This does the job nicely. Why would I buy a new one just for the heater?"

"You could just buy a heater by itself."

"Irrelevant."

"You're just a cheapskate."

Dazai snorted inelegantly. In this position, lying as he was, his hair fell over his eyes, half obscuring them. Both his arms were held above his head, and the sleeves of his kimono slid down to reveal rolls of bandages; the dip went low enough that Atsushi wondered if he would see a grimplss of naked skin, if he tilted his head just right. As if catching on to his thoughts, Dazai watched him like a hawk, his eyes half-lidded. There was a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Atsushi made a gesture for Dazai not to move, and raised his camera to capture that expression. As he stared at the resulting picture, Atsushi thought that, out of all the other pictures, this was the one he specially wouldn't show to anyone.

"Atsushi-kun, you're getting some sort of impure thought, aren't you?" Dazai teased.

Atsushi coughed lightly. "I'm not."

"You always get this guilty look when you do it, just so you know," he helpfully informed.

Atsushi quickly turned his head. "It's just your impression."

Dazai wormed his way to Atsushi, shuffling about on his elbows. Atsushi finally relaxed from the awkward pose he had forced his legs into to get the frame he'd wished for. As soon as Atsushi let go of the camera, Dazai reached for his hand.

"Hm." Dazai poked each of Atsushi's fingers with his own. "Did that make you feel better?"

Arsushi blinked in confusion. "I'm the one who should be asking you that."

"You really shouldn't!"

"I thought you were doing this to help you forget all the publishing stress?"

Dazai gave him an indulgent smile. He let go of Atsushi's hand to reach for his camera, hanging from Atsushi's neck. Atsushi, even though still confused, lowered his head so Dazai could remove the camera. He set it aside a safe distance away from them, and pulled Atsushi down so they were in pile on the floor. Dazai wrapped an arm around Atsushi's waist.

"You get so focused on others you don't even notice your own stress, do you? It's not the worst coping mechanism, but it does make you quite oblivious your own feelings." Dazai let his words sink in before adding, "It's okay if you're not doing your best."

Atsushi inhaled carefully. Dazai's orange-like scent clung to his lungs. He relaxed onto Dazai's body.

"I dislike winter," Atsushi confessed. "It makes me think of being cold and hungry. I… I feel a lot better when I don't have to think about it."

Dazai tightened his grip. "Alright. Then I'm glad to be a distraction." He paused. "Ohhh, maybe I should start writing poems. My specialty is prose first and foremost, but I'm sure I could pull it off. I'd give you a bunch of lovesick poems, and then you'd be too preoccupied being completely, utterly in love with me."

"I'm already completely, utterly in love with you, Dazai-san."

"Then completely, utterly, ultra in love with me."

"I'm pretty sure you just want an excuse to procrastinate your new manuscript."

Arsushi couldn't see it, but he just knew Dazai was grinning. "Just a little bit. Ah, but I'm serious. You always look at peace when you take pictures of me—does wonder for my ego, by the way—, so I'm glad to be your model when you need it."

"That's because…" Atsushi took a moment to compose his words in a way that would make sense. "Usually you take pictures to feel nostalgic about the past, knowing that moment will never come back. When I take your picture, it's more like proof."

"Proof of what?"

"That I still love you, just like I loved you then. Just like I'll love you tomorrow. I think the stability of it gives me comfort when everything else is hectic."

Silence.

"Dazai-san?"

Atsushi pushed himself to his elbows. Dazai was quietly glaring at him, his face pink. Atsushi was stunned. He tried to reach for his camera, but Dazai gripped both his wrists.

"I can't handle you sometimes," Dazai managed to croak out. "I'm going to make a character who is pretty much you, and pair him with a self-insert, then have a tragic, dramatic love story for them. Don't test me."

Atsushi giggled. "Don't threaten me just because you're shy!"

"Atsushi-kun, I don't have a single shy bone in my body, take that back!"

Atsushi just watched with fondness as Dazai went on a tirade on all the ridiculous antics he would put his characters through. Atsushi chose not to let him know his heartbeat was frantic in his chest.

I love you, it wanted to say. I love you and you're wonderful.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Nicole's Rambling: The Avengers Problem (for PS4)

Let's start with the usual chanting: ❗this is my opinion, it's biased as hell (since I grew up with Marvel comic books and movies) and you don't have to agree❗

I was wondering why Avengers game gets so hated... So I took a look and I played it myself. Let’s have a look.

SPOILERS AHEAD

First off: the game isn't in any way horribly bad. It's just a button smasher with a story that has its good and bad beats. It's not memorable at all, but it could've gone way more downhill in my opinion.

At the start of the game, you meet the mighty Avengers through child fan's eyes - it's pure fanservice and let's be honest, it's dope. It was sweet, but pretty dragged, to be honest. I really didn't need to play as all five Avengers (HAWKEYE IS MISSING, AGAIN) in the first hour of the game, but sure, why not?

For the most part, you see the squad through Kamala Khan's eyes. For those who might have not a clue who the hell Kamala is; I am not wondering about why you don't know who the hell she is. She's a Marvel heroine who outed in 2013 and who will have her own spinoff on Disney+.

And again, Ms Marvel is fine, but not memorable at all. I've never, until this day, met anyone who would say that 'Ms Marvel is my favourite superhero'. I was halfway through the game before I even realized it's Ms Marvel - AFTER SHE PULLED HER DAMN COSTUME OUT. That can be due to my utter ignorance or because I heard of her so little that I can count it on my fingers. In all honesty, I loved Kamala as the story progressed, the gal's not bad at all - but as the whole game, she had good and bad beats. There were times where I wished to play as Iron Man and the game forced me to play as her... Whatever.

Let's look at the three problems I have with this game and three positives I found in the game:

0. (Technically zero since it's a personal problem of mine) The soundtrack and the voice actors:

By any means, I am not trying to say they should hire RDJ for the role of Iron Man and Mark Ruffalo for the role of Banner... But it was so hard to distinguish the voice of Nolan North (For example: Nathan Drake x Iron Man) and Troy Baker (Samuel Drake x Bruce Banner). For me, as for a PS4 gamer, it's annoying to hear the same voices again and again in every game I am genuinely excited about (Idk how Xbox players are familiar with them). Of course, there's even Laura Bailey as the Black Widow; I feel like these are the three only people who do voice acting for games these days and sure, I should've seen that coming.

Side note: Nolan North is not a good fit for Iron Man in the slightest in my opinion, but if you like his Iron Man, that's cool as well!

The soundtrack... M A N, the soundtrack. When I heard Marvel gave a green light to the Avengers game, I expected to hear at least the iconic Alan Silvestri's 'The Avengers'. Problem with this is simple: Marvel had spoiled its consumers with good and memorable soundtracks (don't you tell me you don't remember as they all gathered for the first time). Since it was Marvel itself who gave the green light for this project, which was supposed to be based loosely on the movies' and comic book success, I hoped to get all of it.

It's not Iron Man when AC/DC song isn't playing in the background as he flies through a canyon for his life. I mean, Iron Maiden are fine; but come on. COME ON. It's not the same. It's not the Avengers (WITHOUT HAWKEYE) without their significant theme.

1. IT. BUGS. ALL. THE. TIME and the combat is incredibly repetitive:

When I was little, I was a rage gamer. I could barely play Crash Bandicoot or Rayman without losing my cool. Since then, I grew up, skilled and etc. I try not to rage when playing games since it's simply not worth it.

But when you're replaying a boring mission for the tenth part and you're almost over and SUDDENLY, the game bugs out and you lose control over the character (it starts running in circles, etc.) it sucks shit. And don't let me start on the minor bugs. Like when you don't cross the platform by one pixel and the game doesn't let you make combos when you're in the air and bug into a tree when you bug into a wall, a rock, fucking nothing... Bruh. It was released in August, shouldn't these bugs be fixed by now? The game is fucking broken, hoes. It barely feels like a game ready to launch at times.

When you're so lucky that you don't bug out in the middle of doing something, the combat... It isn't bad. It's not terrible, but the Avengers deserved something better. It didn't deserve mediocre combat that repeats itself in every level. Once you find yourself good combo, you're done for. You can use it to finish the game if you will.

2. There's too many missions, too much information and too much things player has to understand if he wants to play the game properly:

Okay, this might seem to be a little confusing; I didn't understand the game system at all when I first ran it on my PS4. There's story missions, HARM training sessions, daily missions for particular heroes, faction missions (SHIELD, Pym, Stark, etc.) and character-side-story missions, and a lot more.

Trust me, it doesn't sound that hard, but once you open the map menu for yourself... Oh boy, that's a different story. And if it only was the map menu. The inventory and such aren't too collected all together either. Before you can safely tell what is what, it will take you at least a whole afternoon. Also, the fact that game just spills it on you just like that, one thing after another, it doesn't help the overall feel.

On top of that, there are MULTIPLE currencies in the game; some even involve microtransaction. It mostly is involving the customization of the Avengers, so it's not THAT big of a deal; you can get one currency by collecting boxes and stuff, but it takes ages before you can buy one single thingy.

Also, if you would like to get stuff (very useful stuff) from factions (SHIELD and Pym mainly), you have to do in-factions daily quests, which usually require to do a certain amount of things as a particular hero (you can do some quests with Ms Marvel only, some with Black Widow, it usually involves the damage dealt while playing as a character etc.). And if you forget to fetch these minies? Well, no faction points for you, bucko.

The system feels overall too complicated in the begging and even after finishing the game, I am not certain by some.

3. The gameplay of the one and only... Natasha Romanov, and the entirety of Steve Rogers:

Right off the bat: IT. SUCKS. SHIT.

This was your shot in opening our mouths and showing why Black Widow BELONGS to the Avengers in the first place. Like, sure, storywise you proved the point, but gameplaywise... That's a different story.

Out of the bunch, Natasha feels the slowest, most clumsy and overall not too pleasant to play as. Mainly is because her attacks do... Nothing. The gun reloading is basically constant when I have to put it simply and it takes about 3-5 seconds for her to even reload; which can be a matter of life and death inside the game. Sure, she can make herself invisible; but that's like... It. It's not that it would be suffering when you are forced to play as Nat... But not a pleasant experience either.

On the other hand, maybe it's just me. I have friends who told me the same about her gameplay, but maybe there's someone who enjoys the Black Widow. It's my personal with the entirety of the gameplay.

Steve, on the other hand, isn't hard to play as. It's just fucking boring. At the start of the game, I couldn't wait to play as Steve's character. He seemed to be awesome - Jesus fuck, how could I be so wrong? As I said, he's incredibly boring and dry, his skills would do the same amount of work if they even weren't there. I think that Rogers is there just for the shock value (as a value that doesn't even work in the slightest) and nothing more.

As you learn to do the tricks and combos with them, it gets slightly better and skill tree and equipment upgrades can help almost unnoticeable... But really, Steve and Natasha are the absolute worst.

Now the reasons why the game convinced me it isn't a hot mess as I initially thought:

1. The characters, dynamics, chemistry and the overall story:

Sure, it is mainly a basic plotline, a cookie-cutter one, full of cliché - Avengers have to regroup after a traumatic event and you're the one who has to find them and bring them together.

Yet it is quite interesting; the game leads you to believe that Steve Rogers is dead after an event called the 'A-Day' (which you won't believe even if the game does the hardest to make you to, constantly remaining you that 'Oh boy, Cap died, did you know that?') and the Avengers had left to exile because they were considered as big bad for the people and the country. They have their emotional baggage and the banter between Banner and Stark (though it ends too soon), is just the thing that makes them human and relatable.

Even the villains are quite compelling; not like ultra super convincing, but the game can turn around when you least expect it to; which is definitely a huge plus.

The characters were done GOOD. The dialogues are full of personality and jokes you'd expect from each one of them; Banner is a wallflower cutie, Tony fishes for compliments all the time, Natasha is the big independent woman she always was and Thor? CHEF'S KISS, I swear. It hits the Shakespearean vibe perfectly and at the same time, he still is charming and quite funny to hang around.

Every time you can listen to a chit-chat between two characters, it is a great pleasure for you as a Marvel fan. Also, I need to say that regardless of my personal issue with the dub (regarding Tony and Bruce; since they're the people you spend most of your time with), the dialogues for these two characters are on point without a doubt. And I kinda grew fond of the in-game Bruce Banner throughout the course of the game, to be honest.

There are references, jokes, inside jokes, one-liners... The dialogue was done amazingly and that's a huge   T H A N K   Y O U  to the developers.

2. The mind-blowing gameplay of... Tony Stark and Thor and AI, while not being too bright, getting stronger as you do:

In what the Natasha gameplay lacks, these two give you exactly what would you expect and way, way more than you'd ask for. Again, it mainly reflects the personal gameplay preferences of the player; let me tell you why I think these gameplays are, in my opinion, the best.

a) Tony's gadgets and weaponry: The suit itself is bloody brilliant. Once you master the ability to attack and fly at the same time, you have the moments when you can not only feel like Iron Man - but really be Iron Man. It's not even that your gameplay would suddenly become 10x easier; it significantly becomes funnier.

b) Thor's heavy fist-to-fist and Mjolnir preferences: the Mjolnir is bloody brilliant as well. Thor's combat is mainly physically based, but when you want to throw the hammer around like the madman you are, you can suit yourself. You can use the lightning if you please and you can fly if this style of combat suits you. It's all in your hands. Thor can take quite a bit of damage, which is significantly supporting you in this style. If you accidentally drop Mjolnir? Well, call it back and smash them!

Also, regarding the AI... As I said, they're certainly not the brightest sparks in the flame; yet thanks to the power getting bigger as you level up and continue with your story and a huge variety of enemies - from turrets to flying men with flamethrowers. It is just button smasher, but a pleasing one in this regard, I must say.

3. The fanservice to comic book fans, movie fans and loyalty to the property:

As one IGN review once said... "This game makes you feel like Batman." And this game more or less accomplished it as well, but diluted and stripped down. Of course, in no way I can compare this to the masterpiece to the Arkham saga; these games are brilliant.

But there are moments when the game can just drag you inside the story and tell you: "You're Iron Man now, boss. It's in your hands." And it's there. I think the only issue was that the team of devs just took too big of a bite. I wouldn't mind stand-alone titles emerging into one and big Avengers game. That would be fun as well and I would spend my time with it gladly.

To end it: it's a mess, but a good mess you might like. If I was to rate it, would be 5.1/10 Wait until it is on sale, don't rush it. I'm overall disappointed and I most likely will forget I have ever played it.

[tracingavantgardeinfluences]

This is the sound of dancing architecture “I get to corner Ralf Hütter in a cluttered backwater of EMI house, for a conversational nexus in which we poke theories at each other through the language barrier… Frank Zappa said “writing about music is like dancing about architecture.” This is the sound of dancing architecture…“ An interview with Ralf Hütter by Andrew Darlington, 1981 (the taped conversation is written up later). Red man. Stop. Eins, Zwei, Drei, Vier. Green man. Go. People respond, regulated by the mechanical switch of coloured lights. Crossing the Pelican towards EMI House it’s easy to submerge in a long droning procession of Kraftwerkian images, pavement thick with lumbering showroom dummies reacting to Pavlovian stimuli, parallel lines of thruways, multi-legged ferroconcrete skyways, gloss-front office-blocks waterfalling from heaven, individuality drowned, starved to extinction, etc, etc. This could get boring. This could be cliché. Ideas prompt unbidden, strategies of sending my cassette recorder on alone to talk to the Kraftwerk answering machine. That’s Kraftwerk, isn’t it? I got news for you. It ain’t. Ralf Hütter (electronics and voice) is neat, polite, talks quietly with Teutonic inflection, and totally lacks visible cybernetic attachments. He’s dressed in regulation black — as per stereotype — slightly shorter than me which makes him five-foot-eight-inches, or perhaps nine, hair razored sharp over temples not to allow traces of decadent side-burns. Shoes are black, but sufficiently scuffed to betray endearingly human imperfections. He walks up and down reading review stats thoughtfully provided by EMI’s press division. Seems it’s a good review in The Times? Strong on technical details… yes? "No. The writer says we play exactly as on the records, which is not so.” He is evidently chagrined by this particular line of criticism, which is an interesting reaction. I file it for reference. But then again he’s just got up and come direct from his hotel. He wants breakfast. Coffee and cakes. An hour or so to talk to me, then down to Oxford for the dauntingly exacting Kraftwerk sound check rituals. The other Kraftwerkers — Florian Schneider (voice and electronics), Karl Bartos and Wolfgang Flür (both electronic percussion) are otherwise occupied. So every vowel must count. I extend a tentative theory. The image Kraftwerk project of modernity, it seems to me, is largely derived from twenties and thirties originals: the Futurist dedication to movement and kinetic energy; the Bauhaus emphasis on clean, strictly functional lines; the Fritz Lang humans-as-social-ciphers thing. Even an album ‘inspired’ by Soviet Constructivist El Lissitzky with all the machine-art connotations that implies. Doesn’t Hütter find this contradictory? “No. In the twenties there was Futurism in Italy, Germany, France. Then in the thirties it stopped, retrograded into Fascism, bourgeois reactionary tendencies, in Germany especially…” And time froze for forty years. Until the Kraftwerk generation merely picked up the discarded threads, carried on where they’d left off. After the war “Germany went through a period with our parents who were so obsessed with getting a little house, a little car, the Volkswagen or Mercedes in front, or both All these very materialistic orientations turning Germany into an American colony, no new idea were really happening. We were like the first generation born after the war, so when we grew up we saw that all around us, and we turned to other things.” Kissing to life a dormant culture asleep four decades? But computers only print out data they’re programmed with, so working on this already grossly over-extended mechanistic principle I aim to penetrate Kraftwerk motivations. The dominant influences on them then were — what? American Rock? “No.” In that case, do Kraftwerk fit into the Rock spectrum? “No. Anti - Rock'n'Roll.” So their music is a separate discipline? “Yes, in a way, even though we play in places like Hammersmith. We are more into environmental music.” So if not Rock, then what? — Berio? Stockhausen? “Yes and no. We listened to that on the radio, it was all around. Especially the older generation of electronic people, the more academic composers — although we are not like that. They seem to be in a category within themselves, and only circulating within their own musical family. They did institutional things — while we are out in the streets. But I think from the sound, yes. From the experimenting with electronics, definitely. The first thing for us was to find a sound of Germany that was of our generation, that was the first records we do. First going into sound, then voices. Then we went further into voices and words, being more and more precise. And for this we were heartily attacked.” He mimics the outrage of his contemporaries — “You can’t do that… Electronics? What are you doing? Kraftwerk? German group — German name? It’s stupid. Music is Anglo-American — it has to be, even when it is in Germany.” The incredulity remains: “Still today, you know. Can you imagine? — German books with English titles, German bands singing English songs. It’s ridiculous!” Of course it is. But didn’t the Beatles do some German-language records at one time? “Sure” shrugs Hütter, friendly beyond all reasonable expectations. “They were even more open than most of the Germans…” I’d anticipated some mutual incomprehensibility interface with his broken English and my David Hockney Yorkshire. You find the phrasing strange? I’ll tell you… when the possibility of doing this interview first cropped up I ransacked my archives and dug out everything on Kraftwerk I could find. Now it occurs to me that each previous press chat-piece, from Creem to Melody Maker, have transposed Herr Hütter’s every utterance into perfect English. Which is not the case. His eloquence is daunting, but it inevitably has very pronounced Germanic cadences. Sometimes he skates around searching for the correct word, other times he uses the right word in the wrong context. When he says “we worked on the next album and the next album, and just so on”, it really emerges as “ve vork on ze next album und ze next, und just zo on”. It might be interesting to write up the whole interview tape with that phonetic accuracy, but it would be difficult to compose and impossible to read. Nevertheless, I’m not going to bland out his individuality by disinfecting his speech peculiarities, or ethnically cleansing his phrases entirely… But now he’s in flight and I’m chasing, trying to nail down details. In my head it’s now turn of the decade — sixties bleeding into the seventies, and this thing is called Krautrock. Oh, wow! Hard metallic grating noises, harder, more metallic, more grating and noisier than Velvet Underground, nihilistic Germanic flirtations with the existential void. Amon Düül II laying down blueprints to be electro-galvanised into a second coming by PiL, Siouxsie & The Banshees and other noise terrorists. Cluster. Faust. Then there is the gratuitous language violence of Can, sound that spreads like virus infection from Floh de Cologne and Neu, and Ash Ra Temple who record an album with acid prophet and genetic outlaw Timothy Leary. Was there a feeling of movement among these bands? A kinship? “No.” One note on the threshold of audibility, shooting down fantasies. “In Germany we have no capital. After the war we don’t have a centre or capital anymore. So instead we have a selection of different regional cultures. We — Kraftwerk — come from industrial Düsseldorf. But Amon Düül II came from Munich, which has a different feeling. Munich is quite relaxed. There’s a lot of landscape around.” Now for me it’s not just some off-the-top-of-the-head peripheral observation, but the corner-stone of my entire musical philosophy that this affable German is effortlessly swotting, and I’m not letting him off lightly. I restate histories carefully. American Rock'n'Roll happened in 1954 — Memphis, Sun Studios. From there it spread in a series of shock waves, reaching and taking on the regional characteristics of each location it hit. By the mid-sixties a distinctive UK variant had come into being, identifiably evolving out of exposure to US vinyl artefacts, but incontrovertibly also home-grown. Surely Krautrock was evidence that Germany had also acquired its own highly individual Rock voice? It seems to me there is a common feeling, a shared voice among these diverse groups. But he’s not buying. You don’t think so? “No. At least not as far as we were concerned.” When they started out they recorded in German-language. „We always record in German” he corrects emphatically. „Then we do — like in films, synchronised versions for English. The original records are all German, but we also do French, and now Japanese versions. We are very into the internationalist part.” Continuing this trans-Europe theme he suddenly suggests „Britain is a very historical society. The Establishment. The hierarchy. We come here and we feel that immediately. On the one hand you have this very modern…” he tails off. Starts again, „it’s a schizophrenic country, a modern people, new music and everything, but on the other hand the… how can I say it, a theatrical establishment.” I retaliate, yes — but surely it could equally be argued that all Europe forms a common cultural unit attempting to survive between the historic power-block forces of the USA and the old Soviet Union? Indeed, to journalist Andy Gill, Kraftwerk’s music is „promoting the virtues of cybernetic cleanliness and European culture against the more sensual, body-orientated nature of most Afro-American derived music” (‘Mojo’s August 1987). Europe shares a common heritage uniting Britain, Germany and France, which are all being subtly subverted by a friendly invasion of American Economic and McCultural influences, movies, records, clothes? Witter himself once said „in Germany, Pop music is a cultural import”. „Yes, I know. Certainly when we came to Birmingham (England) we thought it was similar to Düsseldorf. There’s no question. But in Germany it happens even more though, because here in England at least you notice, you know the language and everything. In Germany they don’t notice, it was just taken over.” I’d always considered the German language to be a defence against foreign influence. It was far easier for mainstream British culture to be accessed, and infiltrated because of a common American-English language. In France, for example, the Government is actively resisting the 'Anglicisation’ of their language through 'Franglaise’, because they rightly see its corruption as the thin end of the wedge. “Maybe. That should be checked. But you, together with the Americans had another situation to start with. After the war, Germany was finished. I’m not saying why or whatever, that’s OK. But when I grew up we used to play around the bomb-fields and the destroyed houses. This was just part of our heritage, part of our software. It was our education and cultural background…” The spectre of Basil Fawlty springs unbidden. Earlier an entirely innocent question about Kraftwerk’s origins had dislodged similar sentiments. He’d spoken of Germany’s Fascist years — “in Germany especially, that’s what I mostly knew about, then all the (artistic / creative) people emigrated, Einstein had to leave, and everybody knows the reasons. And then only after the war — he came back. But I think Germany went through a period, with our parents, who had never had anything. They went through two wars…” Breakfast becomes manifest. Mushroom quiche — no meat — followed by a choice of apricot or apple flan, plus two coffees. I sit opposite him, tape machine on the floor between us picking up air, the windows of EMI House blanding out over the trees of Manchester Square. I’m marshalling scores. So for, not content with winning each verbal exchange hands down, Ralf Hütter has also squashed each of my most cherished illusions about Krautrock. But on the plus side, massive giga-jolts of respect are due here. Long before the world had heard of Bill Gates or William Gibson, when Silicon Valley was still just a valley and mail had yet to acquire its 'e’ pre-fix, Kraftwerk were literally inventing and assembling their own instruments, expanding the technosphere by rewiring the sonic neural net, and defining the luminous futures of what we now know as global electronica. So perhaps it’s time to probe more orthodox histories? It seems to me there are two distinct phases to Kraftwerk’s career. Or perhaps even three. The first five years devoted purely to experimental forays into synchromeshed avant-electronics, producing the batch of albums issued in Britain through Vertigo — Kraftwerk in 1972, Ralf Und Florian the following year, the seminal Autobahn in 1974, and the compilation Exceller 8 in 1975. Then they switch to EMI, settle on a more durable line-up and the subsequent move into more image-conscious material, a zone between song and tactile atmospherics. The third, and current phase, involves a long and lengthening silence.   "No, it wasn’t like that” says Hütter. “It was…” his hand indicates a level plane. 'There was never a break. It was a continual evolution. We had our studios since 1970, so we always worked on the next album, and the next album, and so on. I think Düsseldorf therefore was very good because we brought in other people, painters, poets, so that we associated ourselves with…“ his sometimes faulty English — interfacing with my even more faulty German — breaks down. The words don’t come. So he switches direction. “Also we had some classical training before that [Ralf and Florian met at the Düsseldorf Conservatory], so we were very disciplined.” Others in this original extended family of neo-Expressionist electro-subversives included Conny Plank (who was later to produce stuff for Annie Lennox’ The Tourists, and Ultravox), Thomas Homann and Klaus Dinger (later of Neu), artist Karl Klefisch (responsible for the highly effective Man Machine sleeve), and Emil Schult (who co-composed Trans-Europe Express). In the subsequent personnel file, as well as Hütter, there is Florian Schneider who also operates electronics and sometimes robotic vocals. While across the years of their classic recordings they are set against Karl Bortos and Wolfgang Flür who both manipulate electronic percussion. I ask if they always operate as equal partners. “Everybody has their special function within the group, one which he is good at and likes to do the most.” It was never just Ralf und Florian plus a beatbox rhythm section? “No. It’s just that we started historically all that time ago and worked for four years with about twenty percussionists, and they would never go into electronics, so we had to step over, banging away and things like that. And then Wolfgang came in.” With that sorted out I ask if he enjoyed touring. „Yes, basically, because we don’t do it so often. But we also enjoy working in our studios in Düsseldorf, we shouldn’t tour too much otherwise… we get lost somewhere, maybe! We get too immunised. When you have too much you must shut down because you get too many sounds and visions from that tour. For the first five years we toured always in Germany on the Autobahns — that’s where that album came from. Since 1975 we do other countries as well.” They first toured the USA in March 1975, topping the bill over British Prog-Rockers Greenslade, then — leaving an American Top Thirty hit, they went on to play eight British dates in June set up for them by manager Ira Blacker. How much of that early music was improvised? Was the earlier material 'freer’? Kraftwerk numbered Karl Klaus Roeder on violin and guitar back then, so are the newer compositions more structured? „No. We are going more… now that we play longer, work longer than ten years, we know more and every afternoon when we are in the Concert Hall or somewhere in the studio we just start the machines playing and listen to this and that. Just yesterday we composed new things. Once in Edinburgh we composed a new piece which we even included in that evening’s show. New versions on old ideas. So we are always working because otherwise we should get bored just repeating. And it’s not correct what he (the hostile gig reviewer) was saying — that we play on stage exactly like we sound on the record. That’s complete rubbish. It means people don’t even notice and they don’t listen. They go instead over to the Bar for a drink! We, our music is very basic, the compositions are never complex or never complicated. More sounds — KLINK! KLUNK!! Metallic sound. We go for this sound composition more than music composition. Only now they are thematically more precise than they were before.” After so long within the genre don’t they find electronics restricting? „No, just the opposite.” Words precise with the sharp edge of Teutonic resonance. „We can play anything. The only restrictions we do find are, like in writing, as soon as you have a paper and pen — or a computer or a cassette recorder and a microphone, and you bring ideas, you find the limitation is in what you program rather than what is in the microphone or the cassette. You — as a writer, writing this interview, can’t say that the piece you are writing is not good because the word processor did not pick out the right words for you. It’s the same with us. If we make a bad record it’s because we are not in a good state of mind.” Change of tack. There’s a lot of Kraftwerkian influence around. Much of current electro-Dance seems to be plugged directly into the vaguely 'industrial’ neuro-system that Hütter initially delineated, while dedicated eighties survivalist cults Depeche Mode and Human League also have Kraftwerk DNA in their gene-code. He nods sagely. “There’s a very good feeling in England now. It was all getting so… historical.” Is the same thing happening in Germany now? Is there a good Rock scene there? “No. But New Music (Neu Musik).” Hütter’s opinions on machine technology have been known to inspire hacks of lesser literary integrity to sprees of wild Thesaurus-ransacking adjectival overkill, their vocabularies straining for greater bleakness, more clone-content, 'Bladerunner’ imagery grown bloated and boring through inept repetition. And sure, Kr-art-werk is all geometrical composition, diagonal emphasis, precision honed etc, but their imagery is not entirely without precedent. Deliberately so. Their 'Man-Machine’ album track “Metropolis” obviously references German Fritz Lang’s 1926 proto-SF Expressionist movie. The sleeve also acknowledges the 'inspiration’ of Bauhaus constructivist El Lissitzky. I went on to hazard the connections with German modern classical music bizorro Karlheinz Stockhausen — particularly on Kraftwerk’s Radio-Activity album, where they use the 'musique concrete’ technique of surgical-splicing different sounds together from random areas. Radioland uses drop-in short-wave blips, bursts and static twitterings, Transistor has sharp pre-sample edits, alongside the pure found-sound audio-collage The News. A technique that resurfaces as late as Electric Cafe, where The Telephone Song is made up of 'phone bleeps and telecommunication bloopery. He’s familiar with the input. Immediately snaps back the exact location of the ideas — Kurzwellen, from Stockhausen’s back-catalogue. And what about the aural applications of Brion Gysin/William Burroughs’ literary cut-up experiments? Is there any interaction there? “Maybe” he concedes. “'Soft Machine’, contact with machines. But we are more Germanic.” He pauses, then suggests “we take from everywhere. That’s how we find most of our music. Out of what we find in the street. The Pocket Calculator in the Department Stores.” The music is the message — 'the perfect Pop song for the tribes of the global village’ as Hütter once described it. The medium and the form? “If the music can’t speak for itself then why make music? Then we can be writers directly. If I could speak really everything I want with words then I should be working in literature, in words. But I can’t, I never can say anything really, I can’t even hardly talk to the audience. I don’t know what to say. But when we make music, everything keeps going, it’s just the field we are working in, or if we make videos we are more productive there.” I quote back from an interview he did with Q magazine in July 1991 where he suggests that traditional musical skills are becoming increasingly redundant. “With our computers, this is already taken care of,” he explains. “So we can now spend more time structuring the music. I can play faster than Rubenstein with the computer, so it [instrumental virtuosity] is no longer relevant. It’s getting closer to what music is all about: thinking and hearing.” So technology should be interpreted as a potentially liberating force? “Not necessarily. I don’t always find that. Dehumanising things have to be acknowledged. Maybe if you want to become human, first you have to be a showroom dummy, then a robot, and maybe one day…” An expressive wave. “People tend to overestimate themselves. I would never say I am very human. I still have doubts. I can project myself as a semi-god. I can do that. The tools exist for me to achieve that. But I’d rather be more modest about this, about our real function in this society, in these blocks here,” indicating out through the plate glass, across the square, to the city towers of finance and global commerce beyond. “People overestimate themselves. They think they are important. They think they are human.” I’m out of synchronisation again. Surely, if people have to extricate themselves from the machinery they have created, to become human, then it’s due to the imperfections of the technology — not the people. Machines are intended to serve, if they do otherwise, they malfunction. “Not so. They should not be the new slaves. We are going more for friendship and co-operation with machines. Because then, if we treat them nice, then they treat us nice. You know, there are so many people who go in for machines, who when you come to their homes their telephones are falling to pieces, their music centres don’t function, the television set is ruined. But if you take care of your machines then they will live longer. They have a life of their own. They have their own life-span. They have a certain hour of duration. There are certain micro-electronics which work a thousand hours. Then there is a cassette recorder battery which operates ten or twelve hours.” The mentality you oppose, then, is that of conspicuous consumption, planned obsolescence, the psychology of 'a spoilt child’? “The energy crisis, the whole thing is a result of thinking that everything is there, we just have to use it, take this, and — PTOOOOFFF! — throw it away. But make sure that the neighbours see! This whole attitude of disassociating oneself from machines — humans here and machines over there. When you work so much with machines — as we do — then you know that has to change.” Earlier he’d spoken of growing up 'playing around the bomb-fields and destroyed houses’ in the wake of WWII, so this respect for material possessions is perhaps understandable. But he sees beyond this. He sees machines having the potential to free people physically from unnecessary labour, and culturally to create whole new thinking. “I mean — where is my music without the synthesiser? Where is it?” The music, the intelligence, is in your head. Without that the synth is just….“ "Yes, bringing it about! The catalyst. We are partners. We two can together make good music, if we are attuned to each other.” But you could operate another instrument. The vehicle you use is incidental. You could walk out this building, buy a new synth here in London, and play it just as well as your own equipment in Düsseldorf. “Yes. That is because I have this relationship with this type of thing.” I’m reproducing this exactly as it happens, and still I’m not exactly sure what he’s getting at. Perhaps something is lost in the language gap. Like earlier, he’d said “I would never say I am very human” and I’d accepted it first as role playing — until he’d made it obvious that he equates 'becoming human’ with 'achieving freedom’. Humanity is something that has to be earned. You can’t be robot and human. But this is not a natural conversation. This is on interview. A marketing exercise designed to sell Kraftwerk records by projecting certain consumer-friendly imagery. He is playing games, and this cyber-spiel is what journalists expect from Kraftwerk? But to Ralf Hütter there seems to be more to it than that. He believes what he is saying. At least on one level. Some impenetrable levels of ambiguity are at work concerning this alleged relationship to technology. Baffled, I skate around it. What crafty work is afoot for the future? “For me? For Kraftwerk? Well, certain things that I had to remember and memorise and think about are now programmed and stored. So there’s no restriction that we have to rehearse manually. There’s no physical restriction. I can liberate myself and go into other areas. I function more now as software. I’m not so much into hardware. I’m being much more soft now since I have transferred certain thoughts into hardware. That is why we put those two words together Software/Hardware on the album. Because it is like a combination of the two — Man/ Machine — otherwise it would not be happening. We can play anything. Our type of set-up — and group, the studio, the computers and everything. Anything.” So what’s new in electronics, Ralf? “What we find now is like, a revolution in machines. They are bringing back all the garbage now that has been put into them for the last hundred years and we are facing a second, third and fourth Industrial Revolution. Computers. Nano-electronics. Maybe then we come back into Science Fiction? I don’t know.” Then, on inspiration, “there’s another thing coming out. 'Wet-Ware’, and we function also — in a way, as Wet-Ware.” I’m hit by a sudden techno-blur of off-the-wall ideas, imperfectly understood concepts of some electro-erotic wet ’T’-shirt ritual in the pale blue wash of sterile monitors. What is 'Wet-Ware’, Ralf? Spoken with bated breath. And he explains. Like hardware is machines. Software is the data that is fed into them. “Wet-Ware is anything biochemical. The biological element in the machine!” The programmer? I see. Fade into intimations of cybernetic übermensch conspiracies. So with these limitless vistas of techno-tomorrows, Kraftwerk will continue for some time yet? "Yoh. Yes.” Pause, then the laugh opens up, “… until we fall off the stage!” Auf Wiedersehen, Ralf… Eins, Zwei, Drei, Vier…

[protectwoc]

The Problem with Mal (part 1/3)

Or, Framing and Why It’s Important

Let me get this out of the way right away: I love Descendants. I love DCOMs, I always have, and I love musical DCOMs even more. High School Musical and its sequels were my whole life growing up, and I can sing every word of every Camp Rock 2 song right now from memory (even though I didn’t like Camp Rock 1; don’t hate me.) But what I love even more than musical DCOMs is Disney Movies. Aladdin, Mulan, Hercules, these are some of my favorite movies from growing up, so combining Disney Movies with Disney Channel Original Movie/Musical? The most galaxy-brained idea imaginable from my point of view.

BUT.

I have a problem with the writing in Descendants. More specifically, I have a problem with Mal.

Quite frankly, I just don’t like Mal. I think she’s mean, and I think the movies would be better off if she wasn’t in them. If I completely turn my brain off and absorb the story the way I’m sure the writers want me to I could be fine with her, but the second I begin to think about any of her actions beyond the surface or the implications of those actions I remember why I don’t like her. I didn’t like her in the first movie, and that feeling has only grown exponentially with the release of every moment. All of that culminated in D3, where my Mal-hate has reached its peak. It has bubbled over, and I must release it somehow.

So what am I going to do with that? I’m going to write about it. Why? Mostly because my brother wouldn’t listen to me complain/rant about it and I had to put these emotions somewhere. Let’s do this.

DISCLAIMER(S)

1. This is literally a giant anti-Mal hate post. I’m going to try to keep this as even and fair as I can, but I’m not going to pretend like this is an unbiased assessment. If you are a Mal stan, this is the part when you click away.

2. I am by no means a literary or film analyst. I am technically a “writer”, but that’s about all the credentials I can provide. If you’re looking for actual academic discussion, you are going to be sorely disappointed.

3. This has nothing to do with Dove Cameron. I actually like Dove, I think she’s a talented actress and singer (rapping and dancing notwithstanding). I mean, I watched every single episode of Liv and Maddie when I was way past too old for that to be acceptable. Dove Cameron is probably a fine human being, I really appreciated what she said about the addition of politics into the Descendants universe, and I actually like her in the role, I just wish I liked the role itself. But I don’t want anyone to take this as an attack on her as a person or anything.

4. I read the Isle of the Lost when it first came out like a thousand years ago, and the Wikipedia synopsis for Rise of the Isle of the Lost. I also watched the first three or four episodes of Wicked World and I can’t remember a single thing that happened in them. With that said, this essay is ONLY about the movies. The movies should be (and are, I believe) able to stand on their own, and at this point, I’m not even sure if the tie-ins are considered canon anymore. With that said, there are some things from the tie-ins that are pretty much common knowledge among fandoms (Uma and Mal didn’t get along on the Isle because Mal was kind of a bully, the VKs’ parents were abusive, etc) that probably bled into this essay. If there’s something I wrote about that has been rendered noncanon by the movies please let me know. On the same track, please don’t comment saying that something from Wicked World explained/justified/whatever else a point that I make, because it’s not going to change my argument.

5. This is not, like, me passing judgment on Mal stans. I’m not saying that Mal stans are bad or dumb or whatever for liking her character. I don’t really expect this to change anyone’s mind about stanning Mal either. This is purely a cathartic exercise for myself that I decided to inflict on the world for some reason.

Okay, I think that’s about it. If you have any thoughts at all on this, please come talk to me about it! Agree, disagree, love it, hate it, I literally just want to talk to other descendants fans. Y’all ready to do this? I give you…

Part 1: Mal Alone

Let’s look at the series of actions and the motivations behind them for Mal’s character.

Descendants 1

Mal is chosen to go to Auradon; she is very reluctant.

Her mother demands that she steal the fairy godmother’s wand, Mal agrees.

Mal convinces the others to help her steal the wand; they break into the museum but fail to retrieve it.

Mal learns that positioning herself as Ben’s girlfriend will give her the best shot at retrieving the wand, she spells Ben into falling in love with her.

As all this is happening, Mal is gaining popularity at school for her ability to provide magically beautiful hairstyles.

On their first date, Mal begins to have actual feelings for Ben, she considers releasing him from the spell.

Audrey, her grandmother, and the other AKs bully Mal and the rest of the VKs, and Mal regains her faith in the plan. She also takes away Jane’s magical hair.

Mal concedes from the plan enough to decide to release Ben from the spell, but only after the coronation.

Mal considers stealing the wand; before she gets the chance, Jane does so and accidentally opens the barrier.

Mal takes the wand back from Jane to give to her mother, Ben convinces her not to.

Mal defeats her mother and remains by Ben’s side in Auradon.

Notice a theme here? Mal is characterized by two things, and essentially two things only: her ambition and her survivalist spirit. I should clarify that when I say ambition, I don’t necessarily mean in the traditional, politically power-hungry sense. Mal is an opportunist. Every decision she makes is done with the intention of securing a position for herself, and usually a high-ranking position.

She rules the island before coming to Auradon and is reluctant to leave that position of power when given the opportunity. When she arrives at Auradon, she becomes the school’s magically appointed hairstylist, first to seduce information out of Jane, and then because it gains her popularity within the school. Notice how as soon as this popularity is taken out of the equation, Mal disappears all of the beautiful hairstyles? Mal wasn’t sharing her magic for any kind, selfless reason, but because it could get her something, and as soon as she stopped being able to get something, she took them away.

Mal also finesses her way into the already-occupied spot of the second most powerful person in the kingdom. From there every decision she makes is an attempt to keep that spot. It could be argued that Mal displayed some selfless impulse when she decided to free Ben from her love spell, but even this comes second to herself. She tells him explicitly that the cupcake is for “later”, as in, after the coronation and after she and her mother have already taken over, and when he eats a bit anyway, she yells “No!” at him. Maybe she does feel something for Ben, but he still clearly comes second to herself.

Then in the finale, she chooses good, not because it’s the right thing to do, but because it “makes her happy”. Although this movie was marketed as “villain kids learning to be good,” among other things, Mal never actually learned this lesson. She is okay playing second fiddle to her mother for a little bit, but her pivotal moment of growth is ultimately her deciding that she’d rather be Ben’s number two, and there she remains.

Don’t believe me? Let’s look at the second movie.

Mal opens the movie trying to fit herself into the perfect princess/girlfriend role, which makes her unhappy.

On a date with Ben, she gets caught using magic and attempts to spell him into forgetting their argument.

Mal runs off from her date and away to the Isle. Once there, she immediately reverts to her villain self, even going so far as to dye her hair in a stunning bit of Disney subtlety.

While there, Uma, her old rival, kidnaps her boyfriend. She works to get him back but maintains that she will be staying on the Isle after he is safe.

Mal and Evie sing a beautiful song about how much they mean to each other, but it does not change her mind.

During the battle, Mal (apparently) changes her mind. She returns to the Isle with Ben and her friends but seems unhappy about it.

At the coronation, Mal again slips into her “perfect” persona, shown by her wearing Auradon’s colors.

Uma arrives at the coronation, having spelled Ben into falling in love with her. Mal is heartbroken and tries to leave.

She is stopped by Jane revealing Ben’s coronation gift to her, a stained-glass picture of her in her Isle colors.

Mal true-love’s-kisses Ben awake. She turns into a dragon and fights Uma. When she turns back, she is dressed in the gown depicted in the picture.

In this movie, too, Mal makes every decision with the intention of securing her personal standing. She dislikes being forced to play a part at the beginning of the movie, but she is willing to put up with it if it means getting to stay Ben’s girlfriend, even to the point of spelling her boyfriend who she claims to love. When she believes for a second that that option could be lost to her, she immediately retreats to the Isle, where she is guaranteed some measure of power.

When she arrives, however, she finds that someone has usurped her position on the Isle, and it is Uma, her old rival. When she discovers that Uma has kidnapped Ben, she tries everything to get him back. This, it could be said is an altruistic act, done out of love for another person, but even this is tarnished because she clearly does not love Ben enough to be with him. She makes that very clear over and over again. She even sings a whole song about how much she loves Evie but again, not enough to leave her position of power.

So if it’s not love, why else would she go through so much trouble to rescue Ben? Simple: she cannot allow her rival to get a leg up on her. Mal spends the rest of the movie after she discovers Uma is involved working to publicly undermine her. Why else would she agree to an arm-wrestling match of all things in front of Uma’s entire crew? When they leave the isle after rescuing Ben, Mal doesn’t end up with them because she changes her mind about Ben or Evie, but to prevent Uma from escaping after her. For two straight movies now, Mal has refused to make even a single unselfish decision.

Let’s move on to Descendants 3, arguably the worst offender.

Mal opens the movie helping the other four VKs announce the new arrivals into Auradon.

She is next shown keeping an eye out for Uma, the only other person who poses a threat to her.

Ben proposes to her, securing her position as Queen of Auradon.

Mal, Ben, and the other VKs return to the Isle to pick up the chosen children, but as they are leaving, Hades almost escapes.

When Hades, her estranged father, and Uma, her bitter rival, both appear to pose a threat, Mal suggests that they close the barrier permanently and prevent any other VKs from crossing over.

She lies to Evie about her role in the closing of the barrier to preserve their friendship.

When Mal discovers that Audrey, her original bully, poses a danger to Auradon, and herself specifically, she returns to the Isle to beg her father for help in the form of a magical ember.

On the way back, they are stopped by the Sea Three, who steal the ember from her. In exchange for the ember and their help with Audrey, Mal agrees to release all the children from the Isle, a promise she does not intend to keep.

Back in Auradon, Mal and Uma butt heads over leadership of their uneasy alliance. When Uma suggests they split up and go check Audrey’s cottage, Mal scoffs at this idea.

When they ultimately end up going with Uma’s plan and finding Audrey’s diary as a result, Mal thanks her for her contribution.

Evie is anxious about whether true love’s kiss will work on Doug. She sings a song about it, and Mal and Uma are seen behind her, encouraging her and providing backup vocals.

Audrey attempts to trap them inside the cottage, and Mal and Uma are forced to work together to free themselves.

At the Fairy Cottage, Mal admits that it was her idea to close the barrier permanently and that she still intends to go along with this plan.

Mal’s group implodes, and she sings a song about how she intends to get her happy ending.

Mal finds Audrey and attempts to battle her as a dragon. Uma, on the ground, forgives her for some reason. They combine magic and defeat Audrey, who goes into a coma.

Mal has her father temporarily escorted from the Isle so that he can wake Audrey. They reconcile.

Mal’s friends forgive her for the closing of the barrier, even the Sea Three, who apparently have no problem with returning to the Isle.

Before an audience of Auradon citizens, Mal announces her plan to close the barrier permanently. She finishes by saying that she cannot be the Queen of Auradon, she has to be Queen of both (the Isle and Auradon).

They take down the barrier and Mal is reunited with her father. At the end of the movie, the four original VKs return to the Isle to visit their parents.

Descendants 3 is interesting because it combines some of Mal’s most self-serving actions with her only three altruistic ones. Halfway through the movie, Uma makes a suggestion about how to find Audrey. Although Mal initially ignores her, the idea proves to be a good one, and Mal thanks her for her idea. This was Mal’s first entirely selfless action in three movies, which I underlined above because it is so significant.

A short while later, Evie is shown angsting about whether she and Doug are really True Love through song. In the background, Mal and Uma support her, both emotionally and through backup vocal “do-waps.” This is notable because it is the first time Mal is ever seen supporting one of her so-called friends, but we’ll get to that later.

The third and final act, also underlined above, is even more significant. Mal calls her estranged and neglectful father from the Isle to wake Audrey from her coma. This is where I must truly give Mal credit. Coming face to face with her abusive (yes, neglect is a form of abuse) father in order to help a person who bullied her and became a villain to hurt her specifically is a truly selfless action. It must have been hard for her to face him again so soon after he told her “You’re stronger with those daddy issues” (yuck). Furthermore, it would have been easy for her to leave Audrey in her coma, as Audrey had never been kind to her. This action required actual sacrifice and was done for no personal gain on Mal’s part, which makes it basically the best thing she’s ever done. Unfortunately, this scene arrives on the tail of a movie dedicated to showcasing Mal’s worst impulses at increasingly higher levels.

For the rest of the movie, Mal’s modus operandi of doing everything possible to secure her own position is in full effect. It is no coincidence that the moment she has the most to lose (Her position as Queen of Auradon at the hands of her father and her biggest rival) is the moment she makes her most callous and self-serving decision yet: to close the barrier permanently, essentially dooming all of the children still on the Island to a lifetime of poverty and oppression. Even within a small, unstable group of the original VKs + the Sea Three (and Celia I guess), Mal cannot bear not being the one in charge, arguing with Uma at every turn. And when her supposed best friends and her fiance are turned to stone, does she show any sadness for them at all? Of course not. She sings a Broadway song about how determined she is to find her own happy ending.

This, of course, culminates at the end of the movie, when Mal decides they should bring down the barrier. As an aside, bringing down the barrier is a terrible idea, because releasing all of the actual villains on the families of the heroes whose lives they attempted to ruin is… unwise, but I digress. On paper, this should also be considered a selfless act, but of course, Mal undermines it by claiming that she cannot be Queen of Auradon, she “must be the queen of the Isle too.” Her final act is synonymous with her biggest bid for power yet, and unbelievably, it works. Thus, Mal ends the third movie the same way she started the first, vying for power at the expense of Auradon (and basically everyone else.)

Mal is an incredibly selfish character. She makes three total noble decisions over three movies, and they all happen in the final installment. Amazingly, I don’t think this makes her a bad character, nor do I think this is bad writing on the part of the screenwriters. What makes this bad is the way her actions and “arc” are framed.

Self-serving protagonists can work. Look at Kuzco from The Emperor’s New Groove, or Rebecca in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, or even Bojack of Bojack Horseman (disclaimer, I have not seen CxGF or Bojack Horseman, these comparisons are based on my surface-level understanding of these shows and a cursory skim of Tvtropes. Y’all are welcome to tell me why I’m wrong about this.) The difference is, if you want your audience to root for these self-serving main characters, you have to show them going through some sort of growth or arc to become more selfless, particularly if you are writing a DCOM about the merits of being good. But unfortunately, this is only the beginning of the problems with Mal’s character.

[cheemerthelizard]

Crusader of Life (Kakyoin x Reader) Chapter 8

Ah, finally a break! Varanasi is a beautiful city, and the day is all yours! No Stand user would possibly decide to ruin you and Kakyoin’s first date... right?

You and the others had finally arrived at Varanasi, and it looked even better than what Avdol described. Beautiful designs, bright colors, and sparkling jewels, it was all so amazing! The best part: no Stand user in sight.

“Say, Mr. Joestar, your arm looks a little weird,” you commented, pointing at it. “Looks like a huge pimple or something. Maybe you should see a doctor.”

“Hm,” Joseph stared at it. “Maybe you’re right.”

“I can go with you, if you’d like,” Polnareff offered.

“No, no, I’ll be fine. You four go enjoy the city.”

And that you certainly would. After all, there was no way you’d miss an opportunity like this to get some sweet, sweet time off from a Stand attack. Granted, you probably shouldn’t jinx it.

“Oh, (Y/N), I need to ask you something,” Kakyoin said, interrupting your thoughts. “I’ve been thinking, we haven’t really had a proper date. The most we’ve had together is walking around looking for Polnareff. Would you mind if-“

“No, I wouldn’t mind,” you answered, smiling. “I would love to go on a date.”

“Oh, good,” Kakyoin sighed. “Well, I don’t really know this place very well, so perhaps we could explore a bit?”

“That sounds nice,” you replied. “In fact, I haven’t really gone on a date with someone until now, so I don’t know what to do.”

“Nor have I. We’ll wing it. Avdol! Jotaro!” Kakyoin tossed a walkie talkie to both of them. “We’ll be exploring the city a bit. Call us on there if there’s danger.”

“Understood,” Avdol nodded.

“Alright,” Jotaro agreed.

“Good. Well, we’re off!” Kakyoin waved to the two.

“Have fun! Tell me how it goes!”

“Don’t get caught by an enemy Stand.”

If you thought the city was beautiful from a distance, you hadn’t seen anything yet. The view from the streets was a whole new version of eye candy. Everywhere you turned, there were vendors selling something appealing. Trinkets, exotic foods, colorful clothing, and just about anything you could think of. Oh, you just wanted one of those things, just one. Taking your own piece of India home would be wonderful. Alas, you had no money with you.

“I can buy something, if you really want it.”

“Hm?”

Kakyoin laughed. “You’re not good at hiding your expressions. Even Ace is looking at everything in awe. I can buy something small, if you really want it.”

“No, I can’t do that,” you protested. “You’re my boyfriend, not my sugar daddy.”

“If it makes you feel better, you can pay me back.”

“But I won’t remember, I won’t.”

“I’ll help you remember, if it means that much to you.”

You stared at the ground and muttered, “Fine.” You knew, somehow, Kakyoin wasn’t really going to remind you. He just said that so you wouldn’t feel guilty about taking money out of his pocket. Still, you picked out a cute little elephant necklace, but checked the price without Kakyoin knowing. Good. It’s fairly cheap.

As you continued down the streets, Kakyoin whispered something to you. “I didn’t bring any money, either. Mr. Joestar was kind enough to lend me some. He said to ‘use it as I deemed fit,’ then winked.”

“So it won’t affect you if I get something expensive?”

“He didn’t give me that much, come on.” Kakyoin chuckled. “But he did give me enough for lunch, dinner, and two small souvenirs.”

“How convenient,” you laughed. “It’s almost as if it was planned for something.”

Kakyoin laughed, too. “I didn’t tell you at first because I didn’t know how you’d react to me leaving all my money at home.”

“Hey, like I said, you’re my boyfriend, not my sugar daddy.”

Those words seemed to lift a weight off of Kakyoin’s shoulders. “Well speaking of lunch, I’m starving. Let’s find somewhere to eat.”

“Yeah...” your mind had drifted elsewhere. You had just seen someone in a cloak, you were sure of it. But, suddenly, he was gone. It couldn’t be an enemy Stand, could it? You prayed that it wasn’t.

“You okay?”

You snapped back to reality. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I just felt like someone was watching us. I’m probably just paranoid from the past few days, with all of the Stand users attacking us.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s what it was.”

The two of you searched for a while for a good place to eat, until you stumbled upon a little cafe that had a wonderful smell to it. You both eagerly went inside to check out the menu, since both of your stomachs were growling. Each of you chose what you wanted, and sat down to wait for it to be ready.

“Actually, your Stand was the first one I’ve seen besides mine,” you laughed. “I thought I was the only one to have an ability like that.”

“Well, yours was technically the second for me,” Kakyoin said, “since I had to see Jotaro’s first, but it was special, since I hadn’t seen Star Platinum in action yet.”

“Do you believe in fate?” you asked. “Like how the Joestars have fought to keep away Dio. Do you believe that us meeting there was fate?”

Kakyoin looked, and thought about it. “Maybe,” he finally said. “I don’t really think about fate all that much. However, I don’t think someone’s life is completely controlled by fate, only certain bits. Us meeting? I think it was, but we chose to make something out of it.”

However, you weren’t listening to him. That same cloaked guy from before was back, and definitely looking right at you two.

“Kakyoin,” you nudged him. “I think I’ve seen that guy before.”

Unfortunately, as soon as Kakyoin turned, the man caught drift of what was happening, and quickly dashed back into the crowd of people.

“Darn. He’s gone again.”

“No, no, I saw him, even if it was for a split second,” Kakyoin reassured you.

“You did?”

“I did. And he did look suspicious.”

You grumbled. “I hoped nothing would ruin this day. It was supposed to be special.”

Kakyoin got up from his chair. “I think it was special, even if it was interrupted by an enemy. But for now, we need to go after that cloaked man. He could be dangerous.”

“Yeah,” you sighed. You took Kakyoin’s hand as he lifted you up from your chair, and you both ran after the supposed enemy Stand user. It wasn’t long before you found him, though, running through the crowd. The two of you dashed through the streets, bumping into lots of people on the way, but determined to not lose sight of that man.  Eventually, he had made his way out of the dense crowd, and catching his breath. He thought he had lost you! Before you ran to take the opportunity, Kakyoin stopped you. He looked right at you, summoned Hierophant, let his Stand slither its way right towards the cloaked man, and grabbed onto his shoulder. The man let out a confused yelp, and you and Kakyoin emerged from the crowd. Now that you had actually seen the man, he looked very different than you expected, with a long, black beard, thick eyebrows, and bushy hair.

“Alright, bud, start talking!” You tried sounding as tough as possible. “Name, Stand’s name, and Stand’s ability.”

“Alright, fine!” The man was still trying to grab on to Hierophant, who had a firm grip on his shoulder. “My name is Fredrick Jones, but that’s all the information I can give!”

Kakyoin tightened the grip on his shoulder, earning another loud yelp from Fredrick.

“Hierophant’s grip will only get tighter, so you better start talking, Fredrick.” Yes! Nailed it!

“The reason I can’t tell you the other information is because I don’t know what they are!” He cried, and Hierophant tightened his grip again.

“Don’t play dumb with us! If you don’t have a Stand, why were you following us?”

“Y-you got me,” Fredrick’s voice strained. “I was following you to take pictures.”

“Pictures, huh?” you asked him. “What does Dio need with pictures?”

“Who’s Dio?” Another cry of pain as Hierophant squeezed harder.

“Let me ask again. What does Dio need the pictures for?”

“Look, I was taking the pictures for myself, I promise!” Fredrick was practically crying at this point. “You see, I’m an artist, and I’ve recently entered a big art contest, and the theme was love. I’ve been uninspired for weeks, but seeing you and him together... an artist can’t help but feel inspired!”

Frantically, Fredrick got out the pictures he had taken, and showed you. You nodded. “Yup, these are all of us just being together. Nothing that would be useful to the enemies.” You turned to Kakyoin. “I think he’s telling the truth.”

“Do you want me to release Hierophant’s grip?”

“I think it’s safe.”

Hesitantly, Kakyoin called back Hierophant, and Fredrick fell to the floor, massaging his hurt shoulder. “Thank you, oh thank you!” he cried with relief. “I don’t know what was going on, but I’m sure it’s what you were talking about with ‘Stands’ and ‘Dio’.”

“Oh, sir, I’m so sorry,” you put your hands up to your mouth. “What was happening did have to do with Stands. We’re on this journey to stop an evil man named Dio, and he’s been sending out his minions to do the work for him. We had mistaken you for one of his followers. How can we make it up to you?”

Fredrick scratched his beard. “Well, there is one thing. Make romantic poses for me to use for my art piece. Artist’s block is the hardest thing to overcome.”

“Romantic poses?” Kakyoin asked. “Like this?”

Without warning, Kakyoin had grabbed your head and pulled you close, so that you had to kiss him. The kiss lasted for a while, about ten seconds this time, until you heard Fredrick say, “Okay, that’s the perfect picture!”

Kakyoin lifted his lips from yours, and you noticed your face heating up.

“Is that all you’ll be needing?” Kakyoin asked your new friend.

“Yes, thank you very much!” Fredrick answered happily. “In fact, this is going to be the winner, for sure!”

“Glad to help!” you called. “See you around!”

You and Kakyoin left Fredrick, and returned to the group.

“You wouldn’t believe what happened with us!” you called. “We got almost attacked by an almost enemy almost Stand!”

“Kakyoin, translate,” Jotaro said.

“We met someone who was stalking us, but not for Dio. He was an artist who wanted pictures of us to paint later.”

“Well, I had an actual Stand attack me,” Joseph muttered. “And it forced us to not stay at any hotels tonight.”

“Yikes,” you said. “What happened?”

“I’ll tell you when we’re in the car. For now, let’s get a move on. I’m wanted here.”

Once everyone was in the car, Joseph started the engine, and you were off.

“Hey, Kakyoin, did you use all of the money I lent you?”

“No, I don’t believe I have. Here’s the money back.”

Joseph chuckled. “You didn’t have dinner, did you?”

“Didn’t have time.”

“It’s okay, I have snacks.”

Joseph tossed some cookies and crackers to the back, and you ate them quickly. “Wow,” you said with food still in your mouth. “I’m hungrier than I thought.” Just then, you yawned. “And sleepier, too.” It wasn’t a surprise when you felt Kakyoin pull your head to his shoulder.

“Goodnight,” you said sleepily, before letting yourself drift off to sleep.

“Goodnight, (Y/N).”

[kdtheghostwriter]

SNK 122 - Avalanche

Who would have thought when it happened that Eren kissing Historia’s hand would be THE moment of Shingeki no Kyojin. Imagine you’re picking up this lovely series for the first time. You see a fresh take on the survival-horror genre and think, “I could get into this.” A couple volumes in, you discover the zombie horde tale was a clever cover for a fleshy mecha gimmick. “Weird,” you think, “but ok.” Now it’s ten years and 130+ chapters later. We’re all reading a retelling of the Norse Myth of Creation wrapped in a cozy WWII disguise.

What do any of these words mean? Join me under the cut. It’s time for lore.

Thoughts on the chapter first. We finally get to see the life and times of Founder Ymir. Not surprisingly, she appears to be of vague Northern European origin in what appears to be the Middle Ages. The ancient Eldians were Vikings basically, but back then they weren’t even Eldian. They were human just like everyone else…until they weren’t.

Founder Ymir’s story eerily mirrors that of 104th Ymir. As a small child, she was nothing more than a scapegoat. Born a servant girl, she empathized with the group of pigs that had been captured. She released them, no doubt ruining someone’s feast in the process. A soldier asks who the offending party is and we see a great panel of Ymir surrounded by pointing fingers John Wick style.

Much like Mr. Wick, Ymir goes on the run only in a much different context. John Wick, in his universe, is the most prolific assassin alive. He’s on the run, but he’s not defenseless. Ymir is a child and is defenseless. The men (and I do emphasize the grown men) that chase after her never perceive her as a threat. They’re having a sporting time terrifying and slowly killing this innocent child. Running out of energy and time, Ymir happens across a humongous tree and decides an odd hiding spot is better than none at all. Entering the base of the tree, she falls down into an unseen hole – like Alice into the looking glass – and just as she’s about to lose consciousness, she comes in contact with what can only be described as…this.

A parasite? An alien lifeform? An ancient Eldridge manifestation? Maybe. Just like another old Myth there isn’t really a clear answer nor will there be. ‘Tis the Source of all Organic Matter and it was always there it was, lad.

We get several lessons here about how history can warp our perceptions of the individual players in both a positive and negative sense. Ymir never made a deal with the Devil to get her overwhelming power. She literally fell backwards into a divot and came out big as a mountain. On the other hand, the Founding Titan was not this ethereal being of divine beauty. The First Titan was grotesque to look at. It had no true face and its ribs were exposed, which I guess makes sense for a creature that large. Founder Ymir was a victim of circumstance and oppression. She has the power of nature and God at her fingertips but has only known servitude. That’s why there is no objection when she hears the following.

Not only is there CLEARLY no consent here, but I’m fairly sure Ymir is barely a teenager here so – Double Dose of Yikes!

Fittingly (or tragically, who can tell at this point), Ymir has three daughters: Maria, Rose and Sina. She raises her children while helping her nation conquer the lands around them with her unmatched power. However, thirteen years after her eldest child is born, a rogue soldier makes an attempt on the king’s life and Ymir leaps in front of the spear; one final act of indentured service.

Sort of. She is told correctly that she isn’t in danger. No doubt she has come back from far worse injuries than a spear to the collar. King Fritz tells her to get up and continue being a slave and Ymir says fuck you with her whole chest and gives up the ghost right there.

This shocking development leads to two things. First, we see the most graphic panel in a series full of gore and body horror as the children of Ymir are forced by Dear Old Dad to cannibalize their mother’s still-cooling corpse in order to obtain her power. Then, we see Ymir wake up in what we now know as the Paths dimension. Here she shall stay until a certain someone is able to receive and respond to her call for help.

That’s all for the backstory, now what about the source? It’s been documented well that Isayama loves myth and folklore especially of the Norse variety. Near the beginning of #122 we see Ymir fall into a tree that Momtaku and her co-host Luna succinctly describe as “both phallic and vulvic at the same time.” This seems like a clear reference to Yggdrasil, The World Tree. Yggdrasil is an interdimensional bridge with each branch connecting to a different realm, not unlike the branches we see in the PATHS dimension. Then we have the spine-like creature that latches on to Ymir like Symbiote under the tree. See if this looks familiar.

Nidhogg is a serpent that is known for eating away at the roots of the World Tree. It also has a famous rivalry with an unnamed eagle that sits atop Yggdrasil. A constant struggle between freedom and entrapment which is of course a central theme to this story. I’ve seen meta theorize that if the briny parasite represents the serpent of the Tree, that Eren Jaeger would represent the eagle the overlooks it and seeing how he’s spent most of this tale with wings on his back, that makes about as much sense as anything else.

It’s all a lead-up to Ragnarok: the End of the World.

Yup, that looks like the end to me.

When the First King lined up those Titans to form those walls, he couldn’t have known someone would find the one loophole to circumvent his failsafe. The reason the Coordinate Powers only fully activate for those of Royal Blood. It isn’t because of their genes alone. Ymir is a slave to the Royal Family, even centuries after her physical death. It isn’t until someone gives her a choice that she even thinks to take a different course of action.

What a charmer. This panel and the one that follows are both very important to me. Zeke, in his frenzy is a spitting image of King Fritz. Yes, the are directly related but also, I think there is something to be said of him taking on the form of Ymir’s greatest oppressor. After she hears Eren’s pitch to lend him her world-shattering power we see her eyes, full of tears, for the first time. Not an accident. It’s the first time in 2,000 years anyone has treated her like a person.

This is not an official theory or anything but it’s how I interpret this. The title of this chapter ‘From You, 2,000 Years Ago’ is of great significance outside of how it mirrors the title of the very first chapter. Ymir was sending a message and when we remember the Attack Titan’s special trait of moving (and looking) forward it’s clear who the messenger was. The question then becomes, was Eren the only one who was able to answer the call? Yes, just not for the reasons you would think.

 Technically, any of the Attack Titans (or any of them, I guess) could have unlocked the PATHS with enough work. The problem is, the only knowledge of Ymir’s story and the history of the Eldian people was with the Coordinate which, historically, was possessed by the Royal Line. It wasn’t until that fateful night when Grisha stole the Coordinate away that a very specific set of conditions could be met.

Once a single person of their own free will got even a glimpse of the tortured history and fate of Founder Ymir it was enough to set an incredibly complex series of events into motion. This is why the Attack Titan, even during the Great Titan War, can never listen to reason. They know what the end game is, thanks to Eren sending them snaps of that scenery.

Eren was special after all. Just not in the way we first thought. Funny that.

  Stray Thoughts

- Keep in mind that the final panel of Eren’s new Titan exploding out of his severed head happens the instant it lands in Zeke’s hand. How must Gabi be feeling right now? You think you’ve slain the Devil of the Earth and all you’ve done instead is give him immense power and an army of unstoppable giants. Someone get the Bart cake gif in the replys.

- The most impressive part of seeing Ymir’s backstory is that it was largely done with no dialogue. Almost felt like we were reading a scroll or ancient tome. Credit to the author for crafting such a deep, rich world to explore. Somehow, Shingeki no Kyojin isn’t the story he’s always wanted to tell but it will rightfully be the one he is best known for.

- Once again Zeke blows a 3-1 lead by being an entitled shithead. He and the rest of his family knew the story of Ymir and the fate she suffered and still saw fit to not only keep her imprisoned but to use her as a tool to subjugate their own people. No tears from me, muchacho.

[mixedracefairy]

A Reylocentric review of Episode IX

*HELLA SPOILERS*

DON'T READ IF YOU'VE NOT SEEN STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER!

(I'm from London get used to the slang)

I liked:

• I just liked how one of many Snokes was in like a Matrix incubator, lit and mysterious idea - that Palpatine was behind the creation of Ben. Did he bun not being able to find Rey and then switch to Vader's line as I assume Ben wasn't hard to find? Had to use Snoke otherwise Final Order and resurgence would be revealed. Cool.

• Opening with Ren POV establishes him as a big man and dark don and Palpatine is butters like whatever you think of Ben/Ren all man can get behind hating on Palpy.

• The whole 'lads we best sort this out or we're totally fucked' plot - Palpatine is back with a surrender or be destroyed motive

• The promise of destiny to Ren if man ends Rey cos it makes them mortal enemies. However you sense he won't cos she's wifey but the dichotomy is bare hypey. (That sounds silly. It does however, best express my feelings to the situ.)

• Him chasing her all 'I am gonna turn you to the dark' - it's exciting that he has a desire for her, it's also exciting that she's like aight calm and carries on with her ting with the boiz

• Rey's vision - the potential in the force for her to rule with Kylo Ren and be dark side. Wild.

• Rey's heritage revealed - that she comes from a lineage of great power and great darkness. At first it was cool that she was a nobody and Ren like a prince because of the class contrast and their bond, but this reveal makes her almost greater than Ren, eligible to be empress. Literally the bottom to top. Lit.

• Moments of proximity, there's a momentum building, the bond between them and it's exciting to anticipate their presence together and what might come if it

• The duel of wills over the transporter, demonstrating equal power. (Luke saber 2.0)

• Her shock at her power, losing control/unawareness of might - Rey fearing her power and destiny. Rey also being how the Skywalker twins learn from their mistakes of not fearing (Ben's) power

• Their force bonds - moments where she outsmart him, him with the position in power searching for her on the ground but she's in his quarters. There's always been something hypey about the FO/Empire with their might vs RA/Resistance underdogs and our boiz winning, but never in a situation where they're bonded and he's literally searching for her to wifey.

• Lowkey role reversal cos he's tryna tell her who she is, albeit for his own purposes, and she's in denial and responds by attacking him. The 'I'm angry so I'm gonna hack at things with my lightsaber' is usually a Ren move.

• You can't tell if they want to kill each other, (cos you can tell they wanna fuuuh). Ren races at her with his speeder, she cuts off his wing; in their heated duel they let each other recover yet she seizes the opportunity to kill him. She then heals him as the occasion is a mutual mourning. Confessing wanting to take his hand, Ben's hand.

• The way Rey and Ren dance around each other, Rey flying off his star base. Man all like rah, bae swerved again.

• They did 3PO dirty! It's gucci tho for the Groot-esque bant.

• Ren's abandoning of the dark side moment was feeling keenly the loss of his mother, indicating he had a love for her and somewhere a desire to return to the light or a safety/relaxedness that his opposition was headed by her. Almost like he was protecting as much as seeming to destroy her cause. 

• It reminded him of how he lost his father by his hand, their love haunts him as somewhere he felt he belonged but was ashamed to return to because of Snoke (Palpatine's) corruption. Her death is a loss of hope for his sometime redemption or organising of the galaxy between those who backed the Resistance and First Order. 

• The memory of Han convinces Ben Leia's cause still lives if he decides to take it up, showing he did care for her and what she stood for. He just felt lost to it, hurt, unbelonging, bitter and abandoned by it. Yet he believed in himself and his destiny for greatness, (which you have to rate), so man was like dark side it is. (Wow, what a gangster.) 

• It's a bit like Leia's death freed him of the shame of wanting to be light because he needn't face their judgement, or more, the pain of their undeserved love and forgiveness.

• Lowkey Harry Potter vibes like when Harry's nemesis kills him but doesn't die but the horcrux part did. Han says "Kylo Ren is dead" after he is stabbed by his own saber - the pursuit of darkness that was destroying him has been killed (with compassion for Leia?)

• Leia's arc from episide IV has been lit. After her death, Poe feeling unqualified and Lando saying they all of them weren't ready, you deep how young, (what literally 17?), Leia since day has been taking initiative, being a leader. What a champion and woman all the galaxy has looked up to. And telling silly flyboys to put their cocks away, yet still she believed in and elevated Poe (who has learnt and developed).

• Force heal 1 was a nice indicator of her capability and just a nice touch of her approach of kindness to problem solving, like Leia to her flyboys - put your cocks away. Also dope how Finn prees it and backs her.

• What the hell was Finn going to tell Rey before they sank?

• Yo the way man ended Hux was lit! Pusssyyyy

• Ben's redemption, how he went after Rey to rescue/fight with her as Han's son.

Fresh 👏 garms

• The parallels of Ben and Rey both ditching their saber was cool. Not sure why, like they're both on the wavelength of 'fuck this shit' haha. Except Ben ditches his to step into his true self, what he was trying to do since day, and Rey ditches hers to deny herself. Good thing Luke was about to say who you are is what you make of yourself. A bit like the answerless mirror cave from VIII.

• I like old Luke. I like what a cynical c*nt he is hahaha

• Ben abandoned his saber as it represented Kylo Ren and darkness. Was it foolish to take just a blaster? Tbf he is the don with the force so maybe he thought he was gucci. Force swap was sick tho.

• Pretty cool that their force bond is so powerful it could renew Palpatine's power as it shows how precious it is. Also mad tragic that that is their downfall, they stood no chance against him. But surely if it could renew him it could end him? Two yung padawans couldn't really take on big man like Palpy so fair.

• There were some excellently convincing moments all round of loss of hope - 'they're done fuuucked' moments. Poe in his X wing, Rey staring into force lightning etc.

• Was it stupid that Ben went to Rey? It's obviously instinctive he ain't gonna snake bae now they're not opps. Without him there Palpatine never would have been renewed tho. Rey however remains pure and not a Sith, so did he come to protect her innocence? Fits in with the literary themes and tropes of fairytales that the whole idea of them comes from. 

• I mean if he hadn't come Rey would be Sith empress and really how bad would that be? She'd probably have Ben beside her thus fulfilling the vision she had. What Sith vows must she have taken in order to become empress, (to save the mandem obvs), because she could technically marry Ben who would rule in light and she in darkness. That would be badass af, an unwilling Sith empress.

• Rey's fulfilling of destiny, saving the galaxy etc. I mean obviously it's dope when a hero steps into her role. She chose, like Ren, to ignore her past but in this case for good (because she had the bravery to believe she was not isolated, she was loved, unlike Ben). 

• Her battle has been one of self worth and belonging and she believed she belonged to a Jedi family, worthy to have all Jedi behind her, despite her searching for a family to give her life meaning and finding the truth is literally the opposite of what might help her in this battle. She gave all her power/life for the galaxy.

• Ben gave his life for her, completing his redemption in a Christ-like ultimate love sacrifice. We also catch a first smile and oh me lawd it is my favourite thing in the whole three trilogies. That transfer of life, joy, love, kiss, death was just perfection. Po👏et👏ry. 

• Fuck man. She was his only joy. Raaah

• Also because she died for the galaxy, he died to give her life, it's like he took the L for the galaxy instead, but also allowing our young female protagonist from ends the glory and not the star prince with a bad white male privilege temper and climb to power.

• Leia didn't become one with the force til Ben was redeemed. That's deep. Was that why Ben turned? His scar is now healed, suggesting the betrayal of patricide and how that weakened him instead of making him Kylo Ren is mended by Rey. He's no longer split in two?

• What's the symbolism of giving her life by putting your hand there Ben? I see you Disney, you gotta keep it PG but I see you

• At the end, when she's asked what her name is, it would have been cool if she was like Rey Palpatine and I overcame the meaning of the name, I know who I am. But it was fitting, you could sense it - and the force ghosts what a touch - she was a Skywalker. Her fam have been Leia, Luke and Han, and her soulmate should they have been married would make her Skywalker too. Technically Rey Solo which also fits because it's the same reason Han chose the name cos man didn't know who they belonged to, except she's not alone, she belongs as a Skywalker.

• Obviously Rey and Ben raising little babies as heirs to the empire would have been dope but Ben's death atones for his atrocities as well as makes for poetic writing. 

• Rey returns to nothing, which is cool cos her parents obviously must have been eligible to be heirs to the empire and also chose to be nothing. So it's significant, not anticlimactic. It's humbling, which in the trope of heroes is radical.

• This is a statement that autocracies like the Final Order don't belong in the galaxy, but people power can take down star destroying fleets. (Shame about UK politics not being people power taking down hope destroying elites but ok.)

• Oi what does that gold lightsaber mean? It's cool still.

• Leia and Luke, like Rey, show a natural instinct for the light, as if to say humans are naturally loving without influence of darkness. (Ffs Darth Sidious)

• Both Rey and Ben have the same dark then light genealogy. Rey actively seeks out the light (VIII) and is denied it and genuinely fears her potential for darkness eventually. Ben is moulded to darkness despite his natural light. When they face big man Darth Sidious they're both at a point of comfort in their identities, they both believe they have a right to the light side because of who they are and the choice they are making.

• What's the new mask phase all about?

• Ben's arc is dope - you meet Kylo Ren and he's scary and powerful, then lol at mask off moment, you're a likkle yout! Then find he desperately wants to prove himself and becomes a vulnerable manchild, his act of patricide fostering a softer side which we connect to through Rey, taking leadership and then throwing that in the trash to be, like Rey, a nobody. It's like reverse Vader, also because instead of unwittingly killing his missus he wittingly gives his life for her.

• Lit trilogy 👏 bun the haters. Them man don't understand 😙👌

[epic-summaries]

British LegendsXPokemon

Robin Hood 

Robyn was a prude outlaw,

Whyles he walked on grounde:

So curteyse an outlawe as he was one

Was nevere non founde.

A Gest of Robyn Hode

Theme: Thievery and archery. (I’m using a mix of modern and medieval Robin Hood as influences but honestly Disney’s version probably influenced me the most, unknowingly (or the fact that suspect it did it might not be unknowingly))

Oh wow, this is too obvious. Yeah. It’s the obvious choice for a reason. THEY EVEN HAVE THE LINCOLN GREEN HOOD! This Pokemon was made for Robin Hood. We would be upset if Robin Hood didn’t have a Decidueye.

As a young son of a yeoman, Robin was raised near the upperclassmen. He was taught that he must protect them. He must work for them. But at the same time he saw their greed and cruelty. He saw the priest who would use the poor to get themselves rich. They were not real follows of the faith of Arceus and his creation Mew (being the first Pokémon and ancestors of all life, somehow I’m making Mew is like the Jesus in this AU). He saw how the men of the manor would take more than their share from their serfs. Or how those lazy professors were making children do their work. The local professor, is the person his father works for.

The one good thing about his father working for the local professor was that Robin could spend time with the Pokémon (and his daughter might be cute). One day, the professor traded for a special Pokemon from Alola and from the moment Robin saw him, he knew this was meant to be his companion for life. It was a Rowlet. Rowlet even seemed to have chosen him. But the professor wouldn’t dare give the son of a yeoman such a special Pokémon.

So, Robin becomes the caretaker for the Pokémon alongside the professor’s daughter, Marion. Soon enough ten year old Robin starts crushing hard and Rowlet knows. Rowlet purposely spends extra time with Marion’s Bulbasaur so the two of them could met up with each other. It’s all blushes and stammering from the both of them. But soon they are able to talk to each. Marion tells Robin about how she wants to travel and be a Pokémon professor herself.

Rowlet becomes a Harry Potter esque owl and Robin uses him to send stuff to Marion, like flowers, she really likes flowers. Also he gave her an Oddish. Robin also used Rowlet to help train the other Pokémon in the lab. When Rowlet evolves into Dartrix, it was proof that in all but name Robin owned him.

With Dartrix and his dad, Robin practices with weapons, and of course mainly with a bow.

One day, Robin has the courage to give Marion a kiss. But sadly after that, Marion says that she is going to Alola to become a professor herself (they are 16 here). After she leaves the lab becomes worse and worse (or at least Robin sees it getting worse). Enough is enough, Robin couldn’t work for corrupted people and his Klefki (story is next) to steal a key and he steal Dartrix from the professor. He also made sure to grab that weird stone that came with Rowlet. (Very Silver of him.)

The three of them leave and and they start fighting THE MAN (minus the King of course, Robin still thinks of the King knew about all this he would do something about it).

Dartrix becomes a Decidueye during a Pokéfight with the Sheriff of Nottingham after the Sheriff almost caught them trying to rob from a corrupt priest (Arceus has priests in this AU). It was epic because he evolved and then used his Z move. Surprised everyone.

The moves Decidueye knows are of course his z move Spirit Shackle, Leaf Blade (also represents the fact that Robin used a sword in the early geste plus I love Leaf Blade), Brave Bird, Shadow Ball and Energy Ball (for special attack?).

They are a key thief, that’s their deal. They are very useful Pokémon for a thief.

Pokédex entry for sun: This even-tempered Pokémon has a habit of collecting keys. It will sneak into people's homes to steal their keys.

Technically speaking, this is Robin’s first Pokémon. He was out with his father practicing with his weaponry. When his father noticed he had a missing key. Which oh no, it was an important key in the lab. Robin and his father searched only to find a Klefki. Klefki didn’t want to give the keys back, so Robin caught him. Later, whenever Robin wanted to sneak out, he uses Klefki. Later on, on heist, Klefki helps get them into locked places.

Also based on the alpha sapphire Pokédex entry (It never lets go of a key that it likes, so people give it the keys to vaults and safes as a way to prevent crime.) I want to imagine that Robin’s Klefki gains the trust of the elite and then Robin uses this Klefki stereotype to his advantage and now has tons of keys for noblemen safes and manors.

The moves Klefki has is thief, play rough, flash cannon and thunder wave (I feel like that would be a useful in real life. Need to stop someone, paralyze them).

Hear me out guys. This is the giving Pokémon. What is the modern interpretation of Robin Hood? Steals from the to give to the poor! He’s a giver.

One Christmas, Robin and his two Pokémon are cold after a day of training with Little John and his Pancham. Here they go to a church being run by an actually good clergyman (Friar Tuck). While helping the friar, with his holiday charity, a Delibird walks up senses the good in them and let’s Robin catch him. Now she helps with their charity. She’s very cheerful and loves healing others and giving Robin’s loot away to the ones in need. She is always always feeding everyone.

Her moves are present, drill peck, ice beam and thief (why can the giving Pokémon learn thief? Screw it it fits the theme.)

It’s a little bandit. Of course, I gave it to the thief. Plus look at the adorableness!

Years pass, Robin is starting the make a name for himself. He’s starting the merry men (I like to think of them as a good team rocket). He even has an archenemy! Life is good, until the love of his life comes back from Alola. They met up together and she gives him this cutie pie. She said Salandit reminder her if the time he snuck into her father’s lab and “borrowed” her father’s books for her. This Salandit did something similar to her.

Robin uses Salandit and his small size to get in places where Klefki’s won’t let them.

His moves are Acid Downpour (because Marion brought the z crystal), Flamethrower, Venoshock, Leech Life (it steals HP) and Dragon Pulse.

It’s a sneaky fox. Masters of disguises. Robin Hood is a fox in Disney. Foxes are cunning thieves. And like to turn into humans. According to Black’s dex entry for Zorua: It changes into the forms of others to surprise them. Apparently, it often transforms into a silent child. Confirmed Zorua are changelings.

Anyway, back to the story.

One night after a mission Little John is very silent, too silent. After some investigations, and Little John’s Pokémon trying to attack him, they find out it’s a Zoroark! Oh no! The guy they just robbed has kidnapped Little John! So, pokéfights and archery and sword fights, they save Little John, and betrayal! Zoroark betrayed his old master and joined Robin Hood! He helped save Little John!

Robin likes to use Zoroark to screw with the Sheriff’s head.

The moves Zoroark knows are Night Slash, Taunt (because he taunts the Sheriff), Nasty Plot and Hyper Beam (He has too many dark type moves).

He represents Sherwood Forest. No more explanation then that.

Finally, the merry men make their home in Sherwood Forest. But, there are plenty of dangerous things in the forest. Some nights the they hear the eerie cries. After, months of this, they finally do something and they hunt for the sound. Decidueye, Salandit and Robin were ready for a big battle against an Ursaring or something similar… no. It was just a Phantump. She was looking for friends and has been looking for friends since she got lost in the forest a hundred years before. She finally found the friend she wanted with Salandit (her new bff) and the merry men. She later evolves protected there home in the forest. Some people were poaching Pokemon and that is not okay.

(Honestly, I could have gone way darker with this one. Way darker.)

She has Phantom Force, Will-O-Wisp, Forest's Curse and Shadow Claw.

Previous: Bedwyr

Next: Uthyr 

[pennyapound]

Here’s the thing, Hot Fuzz is an action/comedy/thriller spoof that also happens to have a love story between two men. As in actual romantic love.

How do I know? Because of Victoria.

Most people who are fans of Hot Fuzz know that Nicolas was supposed to have a female love interest named Victoria. However, when Wright started working on how to film the script he realised the movie would be way too long, so he and Pegg decided to cut out Victoria. She took up way too much time despite not being important to the main mystery plot, but the romantic subplot of Nicolas having to learn to truly love another human being had become too integral to his character development. They fixed this problem by giving the majority of Victoria’s scenes and dialogue to Danny.

In other words, they made Danny the love interest.

All those scenes with Nicolas and Danny that seem romantic ARE romantic. They were written to be explicitly romantic, but because the words are coming out of Danny, a man, instead of Victoria people think it’s supposed to be a joke. Try imagining Danny being played by a woman in those scenes. Are they still funny or just straight up romantic scenes? (Well, except for the obvious jokey jokes)

Wright and Pegg weren’t messing around with this. They spend a fortune on Nicolas and Danny’s romantic theme music because they hired an actual orchestra to give it the right weight and feel (all other music in the movie was made much cheaper on computers). It plays in the background during the scene where they talk about why they became cops, when they sit on the couch and Nicolas talk about his past failings as a boyfriend, and when they make up after fighting.

The whole peace lily plot was lifted directly from Victoria. Nicolas buys her the flower, but doesn’t realise that it’s a romantic gesture until the owner of the shop asks him if it’s “for someone special”. He thinks for a moment before saying “Yes it is”. That was the moment Nicolas realised he was in love. Nothing was changed in the final film except he’s talking about Danny. When Nicolas tells the other police officers that he bought flowers for Danny, the room goes silent for half a second. Doris is seen with a knowing smile.

Nicolas and Danny’s relationships is framed as romantic before they even meet. When Nicolas’ ex girlfriend, Janine, tells him to find someone he can “care more about than work” she clearly means a romantic partner. They are talking about their own failed relationship and she encourages him to find someone he can love more than he loved her. Nicolas later confess to Danny that he kept forgetting Janine’s birthday, and is deeply upset when he finds out he almost missed Danny’s birthday later. A clear connection is made between Nicolas’ past romantic relationships and Danny.

The monkey plushy plot was added to make the romance more true to Danny. Not only is it in line with Danny’s character that he would love a gift that Nicolas won for him by using his superior shooting skills, it’s also a classic romantic gesture. The focus is so heavily on Nicolas picking up a weapon for the first time in years we don’t realise it’s a classic case of “guy winning a plushy for his crush” until later when Danny gives the monkey back and Nicolas gets sad, saying he won it for Danny.

It can feel like they are just spoofing the bromances of past action movies, and no doubt it was part of the motivation for giving the romantic subplot to Danny. But they’re not just going “Look, we can do that too!” They took these odd homoerotic “no homo” relationships and mocked them by making it an actually deep felt, important and serious love between two men. They don’t accidentally touch and have homophobic panic attacks. They snuggle up on the sofa.

Interestingly the big reference to Point Break in Hot Fuzz doesn’t compare Johnny and Bodhi’s infamous platonic love to Nicolas and Danny’s relationship. Instead it compares them to Danny and his dad, keeping it intense but platonic.

After all this you might be thinking “If their relationship is supposed to be romantic, why don’t they kiss?” People don’t kiss in the Cornetto Trilogy. Don’t ask me why, but romantic relationships aren’t sealed with onscreen kisses in this series. Not even Shaun and Liz kissed in Shaun of The Dead despite having dated for three years.

“Both Nicolas and Danny are shown to be straight. Nicolas was about to marry Janine and Danny says he had a crush on a woman in town” All I can say is that if you think this, you don’t know Simon Pegg’s movies. You could say bisexual/biromantic men are a very common occurrence in his works, but in reality his views on sex and romance seem more muddled than that. If you sit down and watch all the movies and shows he had a hand in writing it becomes clear that he considers those things very fluid and blurry. Mike from Spaced slept with Marsha and would have ended up with Dexter if the series had gotten another season. He’s also clearly in love with Tim who doesn’t feel any sexual attraction to Mike, but he loves Mike and they’re seen holding hands (Tim is an insecure fuckboy though. Despite his relationship with Mike he reacts with low-key homophobia to other men having similar relationships, and despite Tim liking to wear women’s clothes when he’s alone he dismissively calls Vulva a tranny). Like I said, sexuality and romance are blurred in Simon Pegg’s works and can either be interconnected or separate and people don’t always fit neatly into straight, gay or even bisexual boxes.

So what I’m saying is that Nicolas and Danny are without a doubt romantically in love, but I won’t make any judgement on wether they’re sexually attracted to each other. The movie doesn’t suggest anything either way, but then again neither did Shaun of The Dead. For all we know Shaun and Liz were asexual.

Wright and Pegg were asked what they thought of all the Hot Fuzz slash fiction and responded that technically they had written their own Hot Fuzz slash fiction: the manuscript for the movie. I’ll leave it at that.

[bangchanshehe]

Andromeda (Final)

You were no one, a goody-two-shoes who always played by the rules. When you decided to change yourself and live a little more dangerously you got caught up in Taemin’s trap. He had no use for you and no desire to have you. You were a toy and a time killer. But, he just so happened to have a lot of time and you happened to be his new favorite play thing.

word count: 4.18 k

It had been a whole year since you had finally let Taemin claim you and your life had been turned upside down ever since. Only a few months after, you had let Taemin change you and so far it was the best decision you had ever made. You started to understand and realize exactly how Taemin always said he viewed you and now with the perfect vision and additional senses you were able to enjoy everything with him to the fullest. It was like experiencing everything through another life. Except it was yours and it was completely perfect.

You had found yourself a job at Andromeda and worked with the boys at night and loved every second of your new life. And while you were busier than ever you were also the happiest you had ever been in your life. During the day you still worked your job at EXO trying to pick up any little savings that you could so that soon you and Taemin could move into your own home not too far away from the other boys. No matter how many times taemin told you that he would take care of things you refused. There were just some things that you wanted to do on your own- and making your own money was still one of them. In between jobs you went to the site of your home and worked on the construction and decorating. You couldn’t wait to have your own home designed completely with your and Taemin’s dreams in mind and jumped at any chance to make it happen faster than it already was. And by night you were helping manage the business at the club.

At least… you try to. Try being the key word.

Ever since Taemin claimed you he couldn’t keep his hands off of you. And more times than not you two would skip work to spend the evening locked up in the confines of your own private room.

But for now your main concern was planning your upcoming wedding. You and taemin had decided that you wanted to be bound together in any way possible and you loved the idea of having a traditional wedding, even if it wasn’t necessary.

You sat in your bedroom with your laptop in your lap as you scrolled through images of venues, themes, colors and dresses. Taemin was no help making decisions with you, always giving you his staple answer-“whatever you want babe”, so every last detail was up for you to decide. And you went with a simple white wedding but decided to add small elements of yellow and blue, Taemin’s favorite colors.

“What are you working on?” Taemin asked coming in the room and lying next to you in bed

You bounced as the bed shifted under taemin’s weight and you sighed to yourself. You saved your tab where you were knowing that since Taemin was home you weren’t going to be doing much work anymore. He always had some stupid way of talking you into having sex when it was least appropriate.

“Looking at wedding stuff. Do you work tonight?” you asked him wondering if he was going to be at the club making his usual rounds or just working at home

Taemin smirked and pulled the laptop out of your lap and placed it on his night stand before leaning back into you and pulling your face into his for a slow kiss.

“I was hoping that you and I could work from home tonight” he whispered by your ear while also rubbing your palm over his prominent erection.

You scoffed at his obvious lack of work determination and pulled him back in for another kiss. You pulled the waistband of his boxers, just to let them go and hear the snap of the elastic against his skin. And Taemin’s chuckle made you grow wet with the amount of awful intentions it had behind it.

After your transition, sex with taemin became no small feat. You found out that the mind blowing sex that you had with him as a human was nothing compared to how rough or aggressive he was after you were changed. Goodbye was the sweet and gentle man. Now you had the man who would fuck you fifty shades red and throw you around like a rag doll. And it’s not like you had any complaints or issues with it, but you knew the other boys had to be miserable with how active the two of you were.

Taemin loved the feeling of your hands all over him and touching him lovingly but he couldn’t tolerate the painfully hard erection anymore. He ripped your hand away from his bulge and he as fast as you could even possibly imagine flipped your body over on top of his so you were straddling his hips. You chuckled at is enthusiasm and Taemin laughed with you. he loved showing off just how strong he was in comparison to you still. And even as a new vampire with outstanding skills Taemin was still significantly stronger than you would be any time soon.

“Let’s try to have a baby” Taemin said with a smile on his face and laughter laced in his voice

You smacked his chest and laughed at his joke “Tae you have got to come up with a better excuse than having a child, you know that it’s impossible!”

“But what I’m trying to say is we should have sex all the time… all day. Plain and simple. Don’t go to work. Don’t worry about the wedding. In fact don’t ever get dressed again in your lifetime. Just lounge around with me.” He tried desperately to convince you “Sounds good huh?!”

You were about to answer his question when a sudden intruder had gotten the both of your attention. You whipped your head around to see who would be brave enough to intrude at this time and sighed when you saw the face that never left you alone.

“No, actually please keep your clothes on. It’s already bad enough for anyone with supernatural hearing within a hundred mile radius” Minho pleaded.

Taemin groaned and threw a book at Minho in attempt to kick him out of the room without actually having to get up and move.

“If you don’t get out now, I swear I’m gonna have sex with her regardless of if you’re watching or not!” Taemin threatened.

Minho let out a huff and rolled his eyes “like I haven’t already seen it all” he bit back.

Taemin stared him in the eyes for a solid second before he pushed you off and bolted after him. You laughed to yourself but sighed with worry. Things were definitely more normal than they had ever been but things were still very awkward between you and Minho after you were officially claimed.

The morning that you came home with Taemin you had witnessed the aftermath of taemin and his scuffle in the hallway. There was broken glass and holes in the wall from the two punching and attacking one another. in fact the entire entry way had looked like it had been demolished for a diy project, but you strongly knew that It wasn’t as simple.

Minho had come face to face with you in the hallway as you stood distraught by what you saw and he let a single tear stream from his eyes to his cheek. He wept at your feet for a few minutes and you pat his head in comfort. You could still hear the weak way that he said “im sorry” to you a thousand times over and you hated the vision of how small he made himself in that moment. You would never know just how he felt after he realized that it was only a part of a daze. But you knew that your previous relationship would only blossom from something of disaster to the most beautiful friendship.

And sometimes you could still feel just how awkward things were between the two of you, having gone too far to turn back time or what you had experienced. But you knew that Minho only loved you now as a close one instead of as a lover.

But it still hurt you to think that taemin was still jealous or insecure about it still. So instead of chasing the two boys out in the hallway you decided to hang back and relax with the little time you had until one of them returned to your side.

You leaned over and opened up your laptop to find the screen that you had saved with the image of a beautiful mermaid white silk dress. You smiled to yourself as you imagined yourself in the dress and Taemin in a tuxedo staring at each other at the end of the isle. Your eyes began to water and you knew that it was the dress. No other dresses had made you as emotional or made you imagine yourself in it. You scrolled down the page to order the dress and have it shipped to your local bridal shop for a fitting and let out a sigh.

You didn’t even hear or see taemin come into the room but you felt his arm wrap around your waist as he rested his chin on your shoulder. You turned your head to meet him eye-to-eye and smiled.

“is that the one?” he asked you and you nodded your head

“do you like it?” you asked him

“I think technically I’m not supposed to see the dress or whatever, but since we both know that I won’t be leaving your side any century soon I’ll have to say that I think it’s absolutely amazing.” He kissed your forehead “I’ve got a hot wife so of course she’s gonna look like a killer in whatever she wears.” He smiled at you and In return you smiled back

“your so charming” you said sarcastically and taemin chuckled

“Minho hyung told me that they need all hands on deck tonight because of the event we have going on at the club” he sighed

You had almost totally forgot about the big company event EXO was having at Andromeda and you nodded your head. “Are you jealous that I get to have fun tonight as a guest instead of as a employee?” you asked with a smile in your voice

“I’m jealous that there are going to be men and women dressed up and shitfaced trying to dance with my girl” he stated

“oh boohoo. No one liked me at the company like that before and they still don’t. nothing like what you imagine happening is going to actually happen.” You clarified “come on I’ve got to get ready” you said wiggling your shoulder to que him to raise up

Taemin obliged and you walked into the bathroom so you could do your makeup and hair. You decided that you were going to take advantage of the situation and your supernatural endurance to dance the night away with your best friend. You curled your hair in loose curls and smoked your eyes out and wore ruby red lipstick- knowing full well that taemin loved your red lipstick and smiled at your finished result.

Taemin watched you from the bed as you got ready in front of the mirror and pouted as he watched you get ready for something that he couldn’t participate in. he sighed and huffed hoping to earn some of your attention but when you refused to look at him or talk to him he stood up and watched you closely from the bathroom doorway.

You smiled at his jealous fit and continued to mindlessly nitpick at your hair and makeup until you stripped out of your clothes to put on shimmer lotion and slide on your favorite little black dress. Taemin watched every article of clothing fall off of your body with great detail and had to adjust himself as he watched you slather on generous amounts of lotion. But when you left the bathroom, purposefully shaking your ass as you walked taemin followed behind you and pulled you in for a strong back hug as he pressed his bulge into you from behind and kissed your shoulders and neck.

You allowed yourself to enjoy it for a few moments, and press back into his erection before you pulled away from him. “nuh uh, I just finished and you aren’t going to mess up my hair or my lipstick”

Taemin groaned and allowed for his hands to drop from your waist. You used the moment to your advantage and quickly jumped into your closet to put on your dress and heels. As soon as you had them on you snickered to yourself knowing that taemin was going to love… or rather hate your choice and stepped out to show him the finished look.

Taemin looked at you for a few moments and gave a frustrated grunt before he fell back on the bed to look up at the ceiling. “you do this shit on purpose” he complained. He peeped down at you and growled when he saw you smiling down at him with a shit eating grin.

“im not gonna even try to dispute that” you laughed  “I’ve got to get going- I’m going to go pick up y/f/n and then we’ll go to the club”

You grabbed your bag and ran out the door. On your way out you ran into minho and Key watching tv in the living room and the both of them turned their heads to watch you leave. You were barely out the door when you heard them sigh and mutter “well...Taemin will be totally fucking useless tonight”

You laughed to yourself and smiled as you slid into Taemin’s audi and sped off to pick up your best friend. You missed her smile and her smell. You knew that it was totally creepy to say that your best friend’s blood smelled absolutely delicious, but there was no one else who had that smell. You had asked taemin about similar experiences and he told you that people who you have a deep connection too usually have a different scent compared to other people and ever since then you loved her smell.

When you pulled up to her house you called her from the car and a few moments later she was in your car and buzzing with excitement.

“oh my god you look so good” she gushed as she looked you over

“thanks you look really good too. Who would have known that you had that hot body hidden to yourself” you smiled

She giggled to herself and looked down at her clothes “thanks! I’ve decided that tonight I’m going to finally go home with someone” she claimed proudly “It’s been too long and I’m tired of going home lonely”

You looked over to her completely surprised and laughed loudly “you’re crazy! But tonight I think you can totally make that happen”

You focused back on the road and sped off towards the club and only a few minutes later you found the familiar building and parked in your reserved spot in the back. You silently thanked whoever’s idea it was to make reserved employee parking and walked in through the back entrance.

It was only 9:30 but the club was already packed with hot bodies pressed up against each other and the familiar smell of liquor took over your senses. Your eyes cut through the crowd and you could see the booth on the top floor with an EXO VIP sign and made your way straight too it. Your best friend followed you and clung to you for dear life and you smiled thinking that you were in a similar situation as she is when your life took a new turn in this exact building.

You both slid into the private booth to find at least 40 people sitting, dancing, and standing around talking with each other already half drunk and vibing to the music. You found an empty lounger and the both of you sat down as you grabbed an ipad and placed a drink order for your friend.

“Here I ordered you a drink and I’m going to go get my drink at the bar. You said you wanted to meet someone tonight so go chat someone up!” you said with an eye wiggle and made your way out of the booth.

You walked out and bobbed your head to the beat of the music playing and smiled and waved at familiar co-workers and by passers. You spotted the bar and walked casually up to it and made eye contact with Sehun working to let him know you wanted a drink. He winked back at you and you shook your head.

“Is taemin here yet?” you hear Onew behind you, over the music

“I don’t know, I came as a guest today for work” you explained

“ah I forgot! Well – have fun and if you need anything help yourself, you know where everything is!” he said with a smile and gave you a hug before disappearing again.

Sehun slid your drink up to you at the bar and you gladly took a hefty sip of the bloody concoction made especially for you. you wandered over to the edge of the top floor wall and gazed down over the haze and watched the crowds bodies sway and move to the music. A familiar pair of eyes stared at you and you caught them at the corner of your eyes and smiled. Taemin could look all he wanted tonight but he wasn’t going to be able to do anything sneaky tonight as long as you could help it.

You sped off to your booth again ready to play hide and seek with him, knowing all too well that he would corner you if given the chance and decided to dodge it ahead of time.

You immediately looked to the lounge seat and found y/f/n cuddling up close with a familiar looking man from EXO’s HR department and laughed at how quickly she found someone. You didn’t want to be a cock-blocker and decided to wander around and talk to some familiar faces while she did her thing.

“Hey y/n!” you heard someone yell out to you from across the booth and you turned and greeted them with a smile

“how are you?” you asked immediately recognizing one of your cubicle mates and crossed the room to talk to them

“is it true that you have a fiancé and he is one of the owners of this club?” he asked and you nodded your head

“Yeah, I am engaged and he is a co-owner here” you confirmed

“no way! I had no clue that you were in a serious relationship with someone!”

“she sure is!” you could hear taemin’s fake voice surface as well as a possessive arm around your waist

Your co-worked looked stunned as he sized up and stared at taemin and he looked back and forth between the two of you “woah, he’s totally a catch! How did you two meet?” he continued to pry

“here” the two of you answered, overlapping each other.

You both turned your heads to look at each other and taemin seized the moment to kiss you softly. You giggled at his playfulness and turned your attention back to your co-worker

“do you mind if I steal her from you?” taemin asked and you silently cursed him

“yeah no problem man” he responded

And with a stiff arm guiding you back out of the booth taemin led you out onto the dance floor and stopped you in the middle of the sweaty grimy bodies. He wrapped your arms around his neck and he held you around your waist as impossibly close to him as he could get and he swayed the two of you to the beat.

“you know you really shouldn’t have worn something so short tonight. It would be so easy for me to slip my hand into your panties and no one would even know” he whispered in your ear seductively

You rolled your eyes and turned around giving him your back as you swayed your hips into his prominent erection and laughed to yourself.

“and you really shouldn’t have done that” he growled even harsher

“shut up and dance with me” you yelled back playfully

Taemin grunted and put his hands on your hips guiding you to move exactly how he wanted you to. The entire song you pried his hands off of you when they got too close to dangerous territory and by the end of the song taemin pulled you off of the dancefloor ready for a drink to control his thirst. Both mentally and physically.

“you’re such a tease” he said to you at the bar as he hugged you from behind.

You giggled and rested your head against his chest  “but you love it” you replied

Taemin smiled and looked down at your smiling face. He seemed like he was having a fun time until his expression fell and became serious. You turned around to face him and cocked your head as you tried to read his expression.

“whats wrong?” you asked

“nothing.” He answered but it seemed untruthful.

You gave him a pointed look and he rolled his eyes at you

“really nothing is wrong… actually everything is perfect.” He looked down at you and gave you an apathetic smile “I was just thinking that this was where it all started. Right by this bar and then you saw me in the booth.” His gaze wondered over to the booths where you two formally met “I just imagine how things would have been if I hadn’t been such an ass at first and spared all of us the drama that happened.”

“taemin… I wouldn’t trade any of those experiences for the world” you confessed

He looked back at you with a forlorn look “yeah but if things could have been different then maybe we would have already had the house finished and been married. Or who knows maybe we could be going down an entirely different path right now”

“did you—do you want things to be different?” you asked him slightly nervous, still unable to kick your humanly self-esteem issues and nervousness about your relationship with one another.

“ no. not at all…. I just hope that I live up to all of your expectations” he explained

You sighed and hit his chest in a fit “you scared me!” you yelled

Taemin clutched his chest pretending to be hurt and looked at you with a confused expression

“taemin.” You said sternly and grabbed his face to force him to look you in the eyes “you are everything that ive dreamed of and more. I couldn’t think of a single person who id rather be with or a different circumstance that I’d want to have. What we have and where we are at is perfect. And I wouldn’t change a single detail about anything to save the world”

Taemin relaxed in your grip and smiled softly at you “okay, but if you are unhappy you’ll tell me right?” he asked quietly

“always” you replied

Taemins charming smile graced his face and he leaned into your grin “always and forever?” he asked

You smiled back at him lovingly and nodded your head “yes baby. Always and forever.”

Taemin leaned into you and placed a delicate kiss on your lips. You pulled away from it and taemin was reluctant to let you pull away from him.

“so can we go try to have a baby now?” he asked cheekily

You laughed in his face and shook your head. There really was no other person who could make you laugh, smile or cry like this man could and it was all thanks to this club and fate. You kissed him one more time before you let him pull you away to a private corner of the club.

And holy shit was it worth it.

[aj-draws]

Future Sanders Sides Teacher AU Fic Ideas (Pt 1)

Just a little something I’ve been thinking about writing for a long time now??

 These are just ideas!! I might make oneshots here and there, but I want to try and make this into an actual story on Wattpad or something during summer vacation.

[[Thank you so very much for getting me to post this @royallyanxious you’re amazing :) Oh and btw I was that anon that said they liked your Logicality FBI agent AU fanfic. I’m super anxious but I hope you like this anyway!]]

[[Tag list: @izzynuggets, @diadrip]] 

Summary: The sides are teachers in a highschool that Thomas and his friends go to. 

-It’s also sort of a human AU as well. The sides will naturally have different last names, which I have not entirely decided yet. (+Afterschool they all have part time jobs across the street from each other but there’ll be more about that in a part two or three I’ll try getting to in the future)

[[Characters]]

Logan:

-Science teacher (Living Environment honors and/or Chemistry)  

-Part time job as a librarian

-Wants to keep being a teacher

-Speaks fluently in salty

-His choice of wear is a mix between casual and formal. Slicked back hair (with hair gel), tightly fitted polo shirts, leather belts, jeans and his signature blue and black tie 

-Definitely wears different ties with a theme fitted for each and every holiday 

-Can accurately quote books off the top of his head

-When he's too tired to do anything, he just binges Doctor Who and Sherlock with his classes

-(Based on this one Logan skit on Thomas’ insta I think y’all know what I’m talking about) He brought an entire toaster that he keeps in his classroom just so he could eat toast with Crofter’s 24/7.

-He eats Crofter’s with everything he eats and it scares everyone sometimes. Like he’ll just be casually teaching as he spreads the jam onto a slice of pizza and everyone’s a little concerned 

-Once during a test he sees one of his students struggling and suddenly their stomach rumbles loudly and as everyone laughs he just makes them a sandwich and tells them that they could take the test tomorrow

-Whenever a student doodles on one of their assignments, he finishes the picture with a crayon and he loves it when they see it and smile it makes his day

-He’s that teacher that you’re terrified of at first but then you realize they’re awesome (He has a resting bitchface that scares the heck out of everyone on the first day of school)

-Him being a sort of psychologist toward his students and they come to him (and Patton) with problems and mental breakdowns. He’s terrible at the comforting part of what to do when a person’s crying, but he’s excellent at figuring out the students’ problem or problems at helping them change their schedule/bad habits to fix it

-Him reassuring his students that-no matter what society says-just because they aren't good at math or science doesn't mean that they're useless and stupid+grades are not everything

-His students adoring him for being so realistic and understanding that school can be stressful sometimes

-His students calling him mom

-Him being so sleep deprived one day that as he was writing something on the board, he used incorrect grammar and once he got corrected, he just slowly walks over to his desk and sits under it for a solid minute 

-He hardly ever loses his cool. Ever. He handles those few immature kids in his class with ease, threatening them firmly or just completely roasting them so that they’re too busy laughing/being stunned to disrupt class. 

-But once he just gave up. He silently turns around and s n a p s. 

-He lets out this unholy screech that echoes throughout the school and shakes the nearby classrooms and scares away the birds perched on a tree outside and the chalk in his hand breaks in half the students are terrified they’ve never heard a sound of that volume from Logan’s mouth and they’re wondering if this is is what they’ll hear when the pits of hell breaks open at their feet-

-And then Logan just pauses. He takes a long drink from the water bottle on his desk, sets it down, adjusts his tie, clears his throat, then continues on with the lesson like nothing happened. Everyone agrees that that’s the scariest thing they’ve ever seen and heard in their lives. 

Patton:

-Art and home economics teacher (He has one homeroom art class in the morning, then a home ec class after lunch where he teaches stuff like cooking/baking, time management, money management, food, etc...)

-Part time job as a barista

-Wants to own his own bakery (or just be a stay at home dad)

-Speaks fluently in puns

-Whenever he has a student that he thinks is in a bad mood, he personally tapes some sort of dessert he baked to their locker on a plate with a nice post-it note taped to it

-His students call him dad

-During a rainy day, he sees some kid waiting for their late parent to pick them up outside at dismissal and he walks up to them and covers their head with his cardigan and invites them inside his classroom instead of waiting in the rain

-He frequently gets into pun/prank wars with his students

-Depending on how he’s feeling, when he sees a student sleeping in class, he’ll either blast an airhorn into their ear or lay a blanket on their back there’s no in between

-Once his class was so loud and rambunctious and he got so stressed out because he didn’t know how to deal with it that he just started crying and his students had to comfort him and no one dared to make him cry ever again

-He once forgot where he lost his glasses while he was cooking something and he asked his students to help him find them and they looked for them the entire period and no one could find it

-No one told him his glasses were right atop his head.

Roman:

-Drama teacher (Sometimes subs for the Chorus teacher, who is always absent because she's very sickly)  

-Part time job as a florist/works at a flower shop

-Wants to be a future actor on broadway

-Speaks fluently in Disney songs/musical references

-The most fashionable out of the four. He has a bunch of different outfits depending on the season. For winter and fall, he wears lots of sweaters, leather jackets, dress pants, scarves and sometimes flannel around the waist. For summer and spring, he’ll be wearing button downs, sunglasses, loose t-shirts, and jeans/shorts. 

-During play rehearsal, he puts on a red sash (and his Princey clothing basically) because he claims he needs to get ‘in the play spirit’ (when in reality he just likes wearing his old prince costume from a play he was in in the past)

-Not all of his students like him (he can be vv loud and extravagant), but his theater kids honestly adore him. They love his passion for singing, acting and musicals.

-They cheer Roman on and completely support his dream of performing on broadway one day. They secretly (and shamelessly) support him every chance they can get on social media.

-That teacher that, when he sees an artsy student, will catch them drawing during class and instead of telling them to pay attention will fanboy over their art and tell them how amazing it looks so usually art students also love him

-Knows the latest gossip about a lot of the students in the school

-Purposely casts the two students he knows has a crush on each other as the two main characters that have to stage kiss 

-One of his students gave him a Burger King crown and he cried and wore it for the rest of the week and attacked any other teacher that tried to take it off his head (*cough cough* Virgil *cough*)

Virgil:

-English teacher

-Part time job as a tattoo artist/works at a tattoo shop

-Wants to be a YouTuber/blogger (and write stories online)

-Speaks fluently in sarcasm/memes

-On the first day of school he wears normal teacher like clothing, but then the rest of the year he wears hoodies and casual t-shirts and sweatpants that he hides under a long jacket (he’s technically supposed to be all formal and whatever, but he ain’t got time for that)

-He dreams to get this original story he's been working on for years published one day. This story is basically a fantasy AU involving characters based off him, Logan, Patton and Roman.

-When he reads excerpts from books, his kids go wild because he can do Thomas' narrator/storyteller voice (the one where his voice drops a million octaves) 

-Whenever a woman/girl speaks, his voice jumps up a million octaves and he purposely squeaks/sounds like someone on helium and it gets his classes cracking up

-The kind of guy that uses the dankest of memes on worksheets/in presentations

-A lot of students really love him. The ones who like ELA are in love with his writing and storytelling. The one who don't even like ELA still like his class because he's good at keeping them engaged.

-Just like Logan, he has a natural talent for mercilessly roasting those immature kids that fool around in his class

-He'll randomly ramble away and sink into a hole of existential crisis but his students still like that side of him because it's just relatable.

-He's incredibly flexible and he can be found sitting/lying on places that probably shouldn't be sat/laid on. Once he was just casually reading a book sitting in one of those pretzels on his desk and a student screeched.

-He constantly gets compared to a cat. He hisses at Roman when he's frustrated with him, the students find him on top of furniture that isn't meant to be sat on, he says perfect as 'purrfect' and his noise twitches a lot. He used to be like nahh whatcha talking about until Roman gifted him with a cat plushie one day and he finally admitted that cats were his favorite animal (Bonus-His students joke about him being a furry a lot)

-His artsy students draw him fanart all the time and he loves it sooo much. (Bonus-Someone drew him, Pat, Roman and Lo as cats and he almost cried)

((There’s part one! Part two will either be about their part time jobs, or their interactions with each other as teachers. Feedback is greatly appreciated, thank you!!))