#so take it or leave it

[wikitpowers]

If you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog!

oh i will give u five bc when i started writing, i was convinced that’s how many u asked for lolsies :’)

- i used to be hardcore into kpop and saw bts live twice (yes, being in the same room as jeon jungkook was fucking ✨glorious✨)

- i have a twin sister which i love dearly (i’m making it my mission this summer to make her finish cog after 7 years of me reading tsc *cries* wish me luck)

- before reading tda, jem was my ultimate fav and i still love him so so much but as soon as i found kit my heart got stolen (i love u lots, jem🫶🏻)

- i am polish but have lived in scotland for most of my life + i can speak both polish and english B-)

- one of my fav actors is nicola coughlan bc i swear everything this woman touches is G O L D and don’t even get me started on how hyped i am to see her in bridgerton in a few days ahhhh!!! (also she’s so fucking gorgeous ugh help me)

[stalkerofstuff]

What’s your favorite song?

Oh there’s far to many for me to pick a favorite,

Though I do like # or perhaps rule? 34, by Fish in a bird cage? I do believe

[snail-eggs]

this is as close as I'm gonna get to the image of Frank that I have in my head but I'm not mad at it

[getoswhore]

whoopsie... im actually gonna post the santa toji fic on thur cause for some reason i only like posting on thur, fri and the weekend.🫦

[dono-harm-totonystark]

Medical (veterinary a.k.a. we dose everything by weight) person here:

This is a problem with any and all human medications because they are calculated for people who weight 70kg, or around 150 lbs. If you weigh less than that, you're more at risk of adverse effects, if you weigh more than that, you're less likely to get the desired effects. Something something the difference between medicine and poison is the dose etc.

That being said, testosterone and other lipophillic (drawn to fat tissue) medication--hormones, psychotropes, and cardiac meds are the largest most common groups of those--are particularly tricky because some of them get stored away in fat tissue in larger people and slowly released from it over time. If your own body is storing and releasing the medication and then you throw some extra on board, you are then running the risk of overdosing yourself. Basically, the pharmacokinetics (a.k.a. how your body utilises a substance) tend to go out of whack.

For example, in veterinary practice, this translates to having to start some medications at the doses appropriate for the weight an obese dog *should* be and then slowly increasing over time once we've actually confirmed it's not working. Or, for testosterone in particular, this means that after we've castrated a male dog or cat, we don't expect to see the behavioural / health effects of that for about 2-4 weeks in lean animals but for up to 6 months in obese ones.

However, the goal of testosterone HRT is to maintain blood testosterone levels at the range for male hormonal profiles (300-1000 ng/dl) and so the monitoring of it *should* include bloods to check your levels every month at the beginning of the therapy and then every 3 to 12 months depending on how stable your levels are. If your levels are below 300 ng/dl then the doctor should increase your testosterone dosage because you won't see *any* effects until you hit that threshold. Similarly, if you're within the lower norm (say, up to 500 ng/dl) and you still see no physical changes, there's still scope to increase your dosage without putting you at risk of adverse effects. For those doctors who are worried about cardiovascular effects, there is research that testosterone HRT had no significant influence on it (but had some other scary risks) while actually some of it suggests lower levels carry more cardiovascular risks than higher ones.

[Image ID: Table from one of the linked studies showing incidence of various adverse effects with nonfatal arrhythmias, atrial fibrillation, acute kidney injury, respiratory failure, and urinary retention being statistically significantly more prevalent in the testosterone group as compared to placebo. The incident rates of these effects differ by 0.5-2%]

TL;DR at all the fat trans guys:

Testosterone is lipophillic and levels *are* harder to reach and maintain in overweight folks.

Make your doctor prove to you that they cannot increase your testosterone dosage by checking your testosterone blood levels, and unless they are close to or higher than the top range threshold (1000 ng/dl), your dosage can be increased.

There's no evidence to link testosterone therapy to cardiovascular disease but it does carry an increased risk of some other things you should be aware of.

Good luck and Godspeed!

Today I found out because of another fat trans guy who has been through the same thing that being fat means you need to be on a higher dose of HRT for it to work.

I've been on testosterone for three months now and I've had no effects. I was wondering why because in transition timelines I've seen, their voices started to get deeper after three months.

I knew I was on a low dose, but I didn't consider it wasn't working in particular because of my weight. Nobody ever taught me this INCLUDING other trans people. Probably because most of the other trans people I've encountered were skinny.

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

[mishaesque]

my issue is that just rewatching Supernatural isn’t enough. It takes too long. I want it all at once. I need a room covered in 327 monitors that feed me every single episode at the same time. I need the DVDs melted down and put into an IV drip. I want every single minute of the show tattooed on the inside of my eyelids. I need to live inside its flesh.

[bathroom-sand]

paramount and spyglass are trying so hard right now to save face because jenna ortega rightfully left the scream franchise after they fired melissa for supprting palestine. nobody is dumb enough to believe the excuse that it’s a scheduling conflict hours after rumors she was trying to get out of her contract cause she was pissed. i’m very thankful that jenna is risking her career and using her position to do the right thing. she’s been outspoken about palestine for years now. i hope this begins a trend of zionist losing money for their support and complacency with an active genocide

[chechula]

Another random comic diary. I have a really tiresome job I should be doing(commission comic about washing machines. really. x_x) so I am drawing a lot of other things to avoid working on it :3

[carebeardean]

Charles whose dad smashed his cassette tape with a hammer learns to navigate the backpack cause, like, he needs to be useful, yeah?

and this way Charles has everything Edwin needs, and if Edwin gets sick of him he’ll just.. he doesn’t know what he’ll do.

but then Edwin gets the record player.

he suggests, tentatively, that Charles might play some of his “queen” if he liked. after all, if they are to haunt potential realtors away from their new office, they may as well entertain themselves.

so they take turns, switching out; edwin likes opera. he shows Charles how to waltz, chiding Charles to stop looking at his feet til they’re gliding, whirling around like they’re in the movies. Edwin’s smile is small and pleased and lovely. (Charles attempt to get Edwin to headbang along to queen results in a sort of awkward rhythmic nodding. Charles loves him so much he could die again.)

And, like. Edwin doesn’t like clutter. he doesn’t bother with the random tidbits ghosts give them for solving cases.

until now, apparently.

now he comes back from trading at the goblin market with little useless things—a cursed rubix cube, records from bands Charles mentioned years ago.

Charles is so busy trying to subtly read his book on Edwardian courting rituals (disguised by Nikos discreet manga covers) that he doesn’t realize what Edwin’s set down in front of him. he stares at Edwin’s spiky handwriting, the tidy numbered list.

“I thought, perhaps, that we might—start a new tradition.”

Charles blinks, eyes stinging. “Mate, did you.. make me a mixtape?”

“Crystal assisted me, and while she was absolutely insuffer—“ Edwin staggers, catching him with a surprised little noise.

“I love you so much,” Charles says, muffled into his throat. “You’re my favorite person. I love you so much it hurts, sometimes.”

“Yes,” Edwin says softly, hands curling around his waist. He takes Charles weight like it’s nothing. “I believe I know the feeling.”

this is a longer fic on ao3 now!

[hinamie]

thank u canon plant nerd megumi for my life

bonus:

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

[abstractfrog]

Happy 1 year anniversary to Mr Sherlock Holmes! Here's a litttleee celebratory comic from me

[vitality-falls]

He’s done with the teasing~

(I mixed about 3 of your requests for this one lmao)

[angry-kid-with-no-money]

"Nora doesn't know anything about the things she writes about" "aftg is terrible queer rep" "the queer characters in aftg are so problematic"

Idk guys maybe the book series abt problematic ppl set in 2006 and written in the mid 2010s shouldn't be expected to hold up against scrutiny of what we consider to be moral and correct now, in 2024

Idk tho, idk

[potassiumprincess]

i think marinette is worse at resting when she's sick but adrien is worse at sitting things out if he's injured. i have no explanation, these are just the vibes