#so so so stupid

[lavender-tinted-glasses]

my friend proposed a theory: if its a certain color in a certain setting then it can be perceived as a fnaf animatronic. as in if you put the right colors next to each other it's freebby fazbear

example:

[earlyspringtranscendence]

btw if jericho wins i might genuinely kill myself i so don’t need to be alive in a world which is so boring and dull and stupid

[bottom-lexa]

People complaining about Lego not being environmentally friendly coz it’s plastic makes me want to scream. And since Lego is trying to switch to all paper bags instead of plastic (yay) people are making fun of it saying oh look they’re being environmentally friendly by putting their plastic in paper.

Like mate. What do you want them to do? Make the bricks out of wood? Make the bricks out of paper??? It’s a toy. It’s plastic. It’s not meant to be thrown out you donut. It’s not plastic ending up in landfills because it’s not meant to be thrown out it’s a fucking toy.

[atompalace-official]

….well, she’s got the spirit!

[mispelled]

Has anyone done this yet

[sillyguy-supreme]

white americans when you tell them that the idea of climate change as an impending disaster is a reductive first world perspective because it’s a tangible reality for many in the global south already:

[intercrusher]

this is their foreplay

[ratsonfire]

I never thought a Honda Odyssey could be so homoerotic

[everwalldigan]

Bruce: who are you? A new crime lord?

Jason: *takes off his helmet*

Bruce: *squints suspiciously* a new crime lord who looks like a grown up version of my dead son?

Jason: *sighs in annoyance and forces a bright smile*

Bruce: JASON THE NEW CRIME LORD???

[doggirlhen]

guyliner for women

[fuhosh-i]

“Where’s the pathetic element?” Exactly Tom Hardy. Exactly.

(x)

[the-nefarious-vampire]

as an aroace, im particularly dangerous, because i wont fuck or marry. i only know how to kill.

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[virtualplushy]

being traumatized is so embarrassing sometimes like oooogh my mom was mean to me when i was little so now i want to eviscerate myself anytime i think i’ve done something wrong. fuck you

[katelynduval]

Wanted: Your face in my 😻

would u lick me...?🥺

[slyandthefamilybook]

why do you guys talk like you think not voting means no one gets elected