#so shes more support than damage
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Once again mentally transporting the dnd party into a piece of media that I like (this time it is monster hunter)
#specifically imagining them as one of those npc groups you can meet sometimes in the villages#sir reginald would have very bulky armor of some kind and have a hammer#chag dag bragston would use either a bow or a bowgun and her armor would have to be easy to move in#also ideally would have a scarf#and extra ideally her weapon would be part of the food weapon set#auris my beloved auris. dual blades or bow. mostly for inflicting statuses. his armor should look flowy#narin would be dual blades or light bowgun. g rank pukei pukei armor but with a plague mask like the hr male pukei armor gets#reginald is a damage dealer 100% but sometimes he remembers life powder exists#chag does insane damage and is really good at well timed dodges. loves foraging#auris is something of a trap master#and narin is their information specialist. studies monsters. crafts a lot of their items. and in battle she runs max wide range#so shes more support than damage#yknow what yeah auris gets a bow he is not built for close range#chag has super high affinity. reginald has incredible defense and pretty solid attack. auris has good affinity#and good skills for inflicting ailmemts and draining monsters stamina and stuff. and narin is also good at ailments and has ok affinity#you meet them and reginald clearly thinks hes the main character/leader#but when you talk to them the others are like yeah actuall narin is the competent one.#they seem dysfunctional but then they're like yeah actually we just took down a gore magala the other day.
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Ty for answering my asks! Recently, I saw some fanart of the gender bendered crew and it got me curios, how much would the plot change if Jimmy was a woman. I mean, she would still be emotionally abusive (esp to Fem!Curly), but at lest, I guess, the crash would've never happened (?)
Also, her relationship w/ Anya: if she was assulted still, it prolly would've been dissmissed, since it's between 2 women. Or, if Anya is male in this scenario, he couldn't really be able to talk abt it, since society decided that "women can't r*pe men", so it's not serious and he should suck it up. Man, it's just sucks to be Anya in any scenario my poor girl 😭
What do you think? If you have an opinion on that at all, that is
-💀
I think the scenario's where the gender was flipped or any level of gender based intersectionality is expanded makes it so much more complex.
If this is the scenario with fem!Jimmy, it comes with the territory of questionable internalized homophobia. Does Jimmy brush it off in this scenario because she doesn't think lesbian encounters are real ones? Is she struggling with her identity and taking it out on Anya who may be openly queer compared a fem!Curly who is either straight or just not interested in Jimmy? Perhaps it's a sort of weird entitled that can occur in female dominated spaces "We're both girls, I know what you have, it won't matter." It's still is something I don't see Jimmy denying in this scenario, he never really denies it in canon just talks around it with Curly. Here I can see it's less about the pregnancy and more so about the internalized homophobia. Not seeing Anya as anything but an unwanted aspect of her femineity and the allure of it, there's a lot more objectification of both Curly and Anya in this alteration as I would believe feels better thinking of them in that light if they are just fodder in her mind. Guilty pleasures that no longer bring her such. It's a careful situation because I don't want this to fall into predatory lesbian stereotyping, Jimmy is just a person who does not respect other people or their choice, if it conflict with what he wants or perceived is owed.
The idea of Curly having to report it and outing her not only as a rapist but queer and the denial, especially in the case Anya and Curly are both out as she feels a sort of resentment she can't be secure with herself that way. If it is masc!Curly, there could be the jealousy of him being able to actively pursue relationships he wants while she feels she can't, Anya and Curly playfully flirt, its casual but it's something she longs for in the same way she doesn't. She obsesses over Curly because she wishes she could be Curly in a social sense in both aspect male or female Curly.
If it's fem!Jimmy and masc!Anya? It's a much more delicate situation. In this scenario Jimmy gets pregnant. Maybe Anya does a blood test after the incident and finds out Jimmy is pregnant. It's a very sensitive matter because if it's fem!Curly her first assumption is Anya may have done something. That is just the immediate assumptions in cases like this. I think the fact that Anya is telling her would make Curly think it's not that simple, especially since Jimmy isn't brining it up or really caring but everyone reacts differently. Jimmy is pregnant however, and that's a big deal, she'll figure that out eventually on her own but how will she react? Curly knows it won't be good, Anya knows too.
I think the crash is instigated in this scenerio by fem!Curly actually doing more, refusing to sweep it under the rug because she can conceptualize that fear, likely she and Jimmy are the only girls on board. She trusts everyone, well did trust everyone, but it's just something you live with. She can't just live with that double standard but I feel like she really doesn't know how to address it. How does she bring it up to superiors without implicating Anya? What does she do with Jimmy, it still feels like she's catering to Jimmy but now the concern is primarily focused on the life this baby will be born into. If it is born at all. I don't think Jimmy would try to kill Anya in this concept but try to spin the narrative it was mutual up until she got pregnant. Curly doesn't really buy it but it's a lot of processing, a lot more he said she said but what Jimmy is saying just doesn't make sense. It gives Jimmy too much time to really settle with the fact she's pregnant and likely can't support a kid nor wants to give birth out in space. Jimmy feeling like she's being othered from the only other woman could also be a factor, maybe even starting into her thinking Curly is behaving like a "pick-me" for siding with a guy over her. The crash is more spiteful in terms of having to protect herself alone, due to Curly not outright supporting her delusions.
It really adds a certain horror to Jimmy's pregnancy hallucinations because after the crash they are about her, her symptoms the sign of showing. She doesn't want the child either and considering what being pregnant can do to your mental/physical state, especially some of the more negative symptoms, I doubt she is handling it well. A lot of Anya's struggles are with the stigmas around male victims. His body reacted so did he want it? He's gonna be a father and courts likely will make him pay or care for the baby even if they take Anya's side, their world is just like that. Would the other's blame him for not doing more, he is a man after all? Should he be considered lucky a woman was that into him? It's eating away at him because not only does he not feel safe, he actively blames himself.
In the case Curly is still a cis guy, its that weird feeling guys often get when talking about male victims of assault. I don't think he'd victim blame but he likely asks or thinks about how it could've happened, why wouldn't Anya just overpower Jimmy? Maybe he couldn't? Maybe Anya didn't have it in him to strike a woman. He wouldn't. Now he thinks of what he would have done if Jimmy did something like that to him. SImilary to my trans!Curly post, he's wondering if it could've been him. It's likely one of the first times in his life he has to think of that type of vulnerability in terms of himself and other men and against likely his girl best friend. I think that arm pat right before Jimmy crashes the ship would really make him feel weird, not like he'd have the time to really dig into those feeling but y'know WERE GONNA CRASH!!!.
In terms of Jimmy and Curly's specific relationship, it just gets messier if they aren't both guys or girls. There's a lot of misogny on Jimmy's side with fem!Curly. He often points out she's a woman captain or makes a point of her being one of the few independent woman in her field and how certain men hate that. It's insidious but Curly doesn't think about or like to cause she likes to believe Jimmy isn't one of those guys. He can be a bit antiquated, maybe a bit of a pig but no ones perfect! Here a lot of his resentment is more gear toward a woman having that power over him as Captain/filling the typical male roles he fails at. He can't stand that she's above him in almost aspect and he likely takes it out on other women. Similarly, fem!Jimmy and cis Curly is just as bad. It's a fact of not knowing if she wants to be him, wants him or wants to destroy him. It's obsession without anything positive. She feels entitled to his space and life and time and he has a hard time setting up boundaries cause, well, Jimmy's a girl, his bestfriend and it comes with all the stigmas around boygirl best friends. To him it's a sort of oppressive doting, he feels wrong telling her not to pick and like he's being controlling. That's how she'd spin it whenever he'd try to make boundaries with her.
They are still just friends but most people can't tell even if they can tell it's not healthy, in both cases. Either way I feel like if they were opposite genders to each other there would a specific infatuation Jimmy would have with Curly that would be less hidden but sort of unaddressed because the idea of Curly rejecting them would make them lash out in a way Curly may just leave for their safety. It's also Jimmy wouldn't want to be with Curly specifically but just want what would consistently provide/available.
If they are both girls, its envy. It's that sort of hate that someone fits the standards you don't, wanting them to be picked second or crack. She likes to get into Curly's head, point out flaws and act like it's just her being helpful. She wants Curly to be a girls girl but only for her. There's a sort of possessiveness like purposely jeopardizing relationships because why would a man come first? That girl hates me and is a pick me, why are you friends with her still, Curly? Like this is silly but think about how Regina George treats Gretchen Wieners and that's effectively how fem!Curly and fem!Jimmy would work but technically Curly has the sway of Regina.
I believe the crash would always happen. Jimmy would try to escape responsibility or really thinking about what they did in any world, any gender. It's about facing the consequences, losing things he refuses to let go of or having to deal with responsibilities he's not ready for. The switching of sex or gender really doesn't change those core aspects.
#this is long cause theres so many ideas to play with here and how jimmy and Curly would work but the specifc things happening with Anya#like if she wasnt pregnant thats a relief but its the sort of situation where she has to think about her own sexuality in the scenerio shes#queer and how Jimmy affect her. Its addressing it with Curly who may get it but maybe she gets it too much maybe its hard to hear about Jim#cause for all she knew Jimmy was straight and now she has to think of all the odd conversations and nights they shared beds and maybe#feelings she had but she has to focus on putting Anya first but what does she do? Outing someone is bad but this can be dismmised?#Would the pony express just punish both anya and jimmy and curly what if theres a dont ask dont tell policy? what if they dont care cause#they are all women. its not an issue if its just girls not getting along after “experimenting”. Back to male Anya and female Jimmy they wil#assume it was consensual and anya just doesnt want the kid often that is pushed on male rape narratives. Jimmy is pregnant and on edge#does Curly also have to factor in the child? I feel like the feast scene would be Jimmy delusionally thinking Curly is helping support the#child i mean he is the most well off the bread winner he puts food on the table he is the food! Would polle being Anya talk about how Jimmy#doesnt have it in her to foster a child to support one emotionally without damage? Why so focused on making Curly the idealized male#or provider in her life when she went after him? For female Curly is it envy that she did this to herself and Curly has even more prospects#than her now? What if Anya was fawning because he didn't want the kid but hated the idea of Jimmy killing it to spite him? Or perhaps using#it as a means of control because even if he doesn't want it i doubt he wants it to be punished or abused. It is a burden something no one#wanted but it is being fostered five months in and Jimmys showing a bump and Anya cant ignore all the implications of it being born to her#maybe he kills himself to avoid living in a world its subjected to that pain to to save himself from it. GOD the pills with Curly are worse#for male Anya fem!Curly because its so much more direct he cant shove something down a womans throat who is clearly unwilling it makes#him feel like Jimmy to watch her struggle against him and he cant do it and with Jimmy it is so much more direct about a mother feeding#theri child and abusing it like the nuance if any gender flipping was canon would tear this fandom apart now imma thinking crazy about this#thanks skull anon like really ur asks get me thinking#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#💀 anon#ask#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing
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Just watched The Librarians S2E8 And the Point of Salvation and...
I loved it, for the most part. Cleverly written and a fantastic Ezekiel-centric episode! He had beautiful moments with each of the others and learnt so much from them. He had substantial character growth and was given the space to bear the weight of serious circumstances and respond appropriately. This episode had the potential to be incredibly pivotal for Ezekiel's character!
And yet....
That ending. What the hell?? What do you mean his memory is lost and he forgets all of those poignant moments???? All those conversations, all that learning to rely on others - are freaking serious??
I'm never a fan of time loop episodes, but I thought they were handling this one pretty well. Right up until they erased all of Ezekiel's character growth at the drop of a hat. This was literally the equivalent of "and then she woke up" being used in a novel. It's weak and strips all purpose of what the characters have just been through.
Ugh! Tell me I'm not the only one. How dare they give me such a good episode of growth and discovering potential for Ezekiel Jones, then take it all back with a just kidding!
#the librarians#and the point of salvation#ezekiel jones#john harlan kim#im so mad about this#legit ruined the episode#so many moments that were more important for ezekiel to remember than for the others to remember about him#learning to listen to jake and cassandra and value their knowledge and experience and what they bring to the team#but most of all eve#the way she stops him every time just to ask “how many times”#the way she sees straight to the heart of the matter. to the effect no the DAMAGE this is having on him#and she offers compassion and care and support#she tells him how brave he is. she honours him like she would honour another soldier. and that MEANS SO MUCH to him!!#just. the tenderness between them on the stairs in that one scene#his honesty when he says he likes the way she looks at him when she tells it#because she's acknowledging his bravery and sacrifice#and ezekiel has never really felt like a hero before. but it's comforting to be recognised now. recognised and honoured#ugh just#this episode could have been so much better had they never stolen his memories
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I know how it sounds at first, but I really gotta feel bad for the boys that sacrificed edwin; I mean even the term “sacrificed edwin” paints them in a more sinister light than they really deserve– considering that wasn’t really, actually their intention.
they were bullies, they were homophobic (and/or were self loathing gay boys themselves taking it out on edwin, or were equally likely peer pressured into acting a certain way), they planned something stupid and mean to do to an innocent, anxious boy with the goal of scaring the shit out of him, all because he was effeminate and an easy target. but they didn’t know or expect any of the ritual stuff to be real. they were all laughing and joking during the ritual because it was just that to them– a joke. a cruel joke, but a joke.
teenagers can be mean and stupid and they usually regret it as adults and grow out of it / grow from it. they were stifled the chance to grow out of it, at least while alive. none of those boys deserved to be instakilled and sent to hell; they’re really not that much less deserving than edwin himself. they were all just kids, after all.
#random thought but. yeah……#I mean think about if crystal happened to be killed somehow pre-demonic intervention#she would’ve been deemed deserving of hell by the standards we’ve seen. no doubt about it. if the dragon guys were pulled to hell then yeah.#she would be as well. simply put- she was a bully#she was also a teenager. not a fully developed person. a very damaged and neglected teenager at that#it’s kinda like the criminal justice system right. it’s like. hey you really think sending them to be tormented is the most humane and#efficient way to heal these kids of what makes them act out and allow them to grow and improve?#Crystal’s such a good case to look at because she’s. well. to compare to The Good Place which you can probably already tell I’ve watched 800#times and adore with all my heart. she’s kinda the michael of the group#no one knows it at first but she’s actually kind of a terror to people most of the time. but she’s put in a situation where she#suddenly has a support system- people who care about her and want the best for her- she’s given a purpose and realizes how much better it is#to use her powers to help rather than hurt (well. sometimes helping can involve hurting but you get it)#and by the time she’s regained her memories and has a place in the agency it’s much easier to reflect on her life and be like huh!#this system kinda fucking sucks!#not that edwin wasn’t an example unto himself but he was a ‘clerical error’ not a ‘rightfully’ condemned person#with his situation someone could argue that the problem isn’t with the system being wack as a whole- it should just be maintained better so#these ‘errors’ don’t happen and all the good kids go to their afterlives and the Bad Evil Kids go to hell.#yes yes I know they’re not in hell forever (hopefully) but uhh Simon was still there for over a century and for fucking What?#gay self-loathing and catholic guilt? his intentions were clearly not Truly Evil and more than anything he seems to have been punished using#how much he hated himself for being gay and how guilty he felt for it all. like shit aren’t those feelings enough of a punishment? if he had#lived through that ritual and edwin hadn’t– do you think he would’ve been Okay? I think it would’ve crushed him. chronically#man. anyway#this was an especially long ramble huh#rambling#edwin#edwin payne#dead boy detectives
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yes im mentally ill yes i have an IS obsession. and what about it!!
#everyone say good job beiguo 🔫#braving nature 10 baybee‼️‼️#arknights#bagel babble#long tips/opinions in the tags:#reed alter is my number one starter pick bc she heals and does good damage!! if u need a friend support for her feel free to dm#i bring the medic/sniper squad for her bc theres a chance she’ll b auto promoted altho this run i didnt get lucky w that#but also good heals are very important in is4#much more than in is3 i think#elemental not so important but just pure healing#i think at least one good fast redeploy is necessary esp for clearing tiles on the boss stage#texalter stun also saved my ass frequently in challenge stages#eyja is almost a must imo#aoe is superr important and it helps to have her early on but u can survive without her for a bit if u have reed e2#lava is a good budget pick for the early game#i have beaten the normal ending w caster/specialist squad but it was only braving nature 1 so idk if it holds up for higher difficulties#but im sure its viable#i did also beat braving nature 3 with no casters so#blockers r also important btw bc they have a few stages with a shit ton of civvies that need identification#also orchids slow saved my ass. ok thats all i got i think#good luck gamers hope this helps#i think getting here took me like 3-4 days. i really do have obsession
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decided to boot up Black Reliquary again bc we got tired of refusing to play it until the 1.0 update and just wanted to play it. we completely forgot that the difficulty spike from apprentice to veteran quests is a wall, and that we have... very poor opinions of how punishing the bosses are. don't get us wrong, we get it's supposed to be hard and it's probably just a skill issue, but we genuinely believe that specifically enemy damage needs to be toned the fuck down. we do not think regular enemies should be able to hit for 30+ if they get a good roll at a level where tanky characters have around 100 HP and squishy characters are lucky to break 60. we also call bullshit on the idea that "the third spot is typically safe in most fights except in the caverns", bc literally every area has SOME basic or specialist enemy in every fight that can nuke the third row, it's not just the caverns. third row will get hit by a 56 crit damage flying guillotine or a 30+ crit damage trained slash and there's nothing you can fucking do about it. we love Black Reliquary, but the second we decide to go above apprentice, or god forbid fight a boss, it stops being fun and starts being frustrating, because it feels like every enemy has enough damage to just kill you, and every boss is tuned to be completely unbeatable if you don't bring a perfect team to counter everything they do and still completely ruin you anyway even if you do bring a perfect team because fuck you. Darkest Dungeon, even at its worst, has never given us this feeling, not even on Stygian/Bloodmoon difficulty. it's always the early game that lulls us into a sense of security, bc the early game, once you get used to BR's flow, is WAY less punishing than DD's early game(you start with more money, the prep round gives you time to think, heroes have more health and damage overall, basically all items have larger stack sizes and you get more money overall and you start with everything unlocked, as opposed to DD's early game; where you start with basically no money, money is incredibly scarce for a while, you do not unlock everything until a few quests in, and every hero is generally useless until enough investment is made), but then the second you hit the mid game, or even the late early game, and try to start fighting bosses and doing harder quests, the game stops fucking around and you suddenly live in a constant state of everything being able to kill you in two turns, sometimes one turn if they focus you hard enough, with no warning and no way to really ever stop them, because no healing is going to outpace barbarians hitting your front AND backline for 14-36 multiple times a turn, especially if they roll high and god help you if they crit. we understand that we're probably just not good at the game, but unless you have actual advice to help us get better we don't wanna hear it.
#Faye Complains#not letting this breach containment bc lord knows we don't need to hear it. we just needed to complain.#black reliquary is good and if you like darkest dungeon you should try it; especially if you like playing on stygian/bloodmoon#but we have problems with it. we've only fought the janissary and the warhawk matron out of all the bosses so far and killed neither.#and we have major complaints about both of them. for the janissary; like...#we think the idea of a boss with insurmountable dodge that can only realistically be hit by someone he challenges to a duel is a cool idea#in practice; he has way too much health for someone who can only realistically be hit by one person at a time-#-does way too much fucking damage; and if he happens to mark your support/healer before you can kill him; that's it just close the game.#because that character is dead. because he's dead-accurate; will deal more than 20 minimum damage every attack and has permanent riposte.#oh and if the guy he's targeting dies before the duel wears off; he takes a free potshot at someone before turning his gimmick back on.#and the warhawk matron hides behind 3 invincible ammo crates; loading her cannon and moving closer every time she does; and has 3 actions#meaning that if you can't hit the back row you basically have ONE turn to do damage. to a 375 hp boss with 35 prot AND dodge.#because when she finally gets to front; she hits your entire party with a melee attack that flings her back to position four-#-AND *shuffles* your party. for *some* reason it also shuffles you. on top of hitting everyone and dealing a non-negligible amount of damag#we don't imagine the other bosses getting better. we're waiting for 1.0 and the easier difficulty. fuck this.#long post
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like. ok ik friends aren't gonna be perfect, we're gonna fight and disagree.
but im just so scared because i don't know if the one person i call my best friend rn is actually a good friend?
i've never had kind friends my entire life. they've always pushed my boundaries after i set them. it just wasn't until the last few years i made it a Point to cut them off when they do that.
#like...... like this post is mostly abt that one friend#and i think she gets upset with me when im able to get way more high than her off of very little because of my brain damage?????#ok ma'am if you wanna trade your fully functioning brain for mine then go for it? 😭#the thing that pisses me off abt her so much too is that she acts like she's fully in support of disabled ppl#but she treats me soooo bad since my concussions and illness. there's no compassion for my limits.#i used to be limitless so i can understand. i used to be able to push myself So Hard.#but my friends treat it like it's more of a hindrance for themselves rather than it is for me#GOD MY FRIENDS SUCK LMAOOOO#if you gyns have read this far into the scripture that is the tags thank you#i go on this tangent pretty frequently don't i 😭 i just need better friends
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cooooolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool. i went to my friend to ask why she didnt invite me and she said multiple things that just. made it worse :)
#to start off: '[x person] just ironed my hair! :D' this person 'entered' the friend group like 2 months ago MAX and they already treat her#like shes been in the group forever. writing all this out im starting to think this is completely a me problem. for like. speaking my mind#to the ppl i trust (this girl and another guy) abt certain ppl in the group that. well. that i dont like very much.#BUT theyve supported my (and my other friend's) opinion. so they cant be far off. bc theyve also complained abt others#anyways she also said that i 'wouldnt have felt comfortable w the ppl there' (i am on speaking terms w everyone there. some i speak to more#than others). she also said that the supper theyre doing today is 'for the ppl i actually care about' ?????????#obviously she realized what she said and like tried to correct herself but. anyways the damage is done idek why i tried talking to her#as much as shes my friend shes a child stuck in the body of a 20 yr old and shes so immature and doesnt know how to handle situations#like this (and other more 'grownup' situations) at all. idk why i even thought talking to her would make it better#bc now im feeling even more alone in the dorms. bc shes leaving on friday and the other guy in the group that i talk(ed) to is like.#discovering love again or whatever. hes completely left everyone to the side when the new girl (mentioned above) entered the friend group#z xarre
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listen I just can't with how she was like 'omg you killed that guy' and bane was like 'i didn't do shit he ran away from me' and she was like 'why did he run from you' and bane was like 'because he knew about the blood test' and it's just this like 5'6" old woman arguing with this 6'8" 30-something Famously Ruthless Man and she's just like
'are u okay'
and he Stops being defensive Immediately because no one NO ONE has ever asked if he's okay before and he's just learned that he truly is alone in this world and he tells her he doesn't know how to feel about it and she just sits with him and talks to him and puts a hand on his shoulder like WHO DOES THAT?? TO BANE??? I love her your honor I would take a bullet for her your majesty
#she's the hero of dc idc#yet another reason why I will always say fuck t1m k0ng for thinking Bane would do anything to hurt her -- like Kill Alfred??#Alfred wasn't even on Bane's original 'hurt batman' hit list (in Secret Six) that man's always been safe with Bane#Well...safe is a strong word -- Bane knocks him out but no more damage than that#ooc#i am so emotional about this every day of my life#the way bane -- at the first opportunity to act right -- does his best to learn how and be supported and be a functional person in society#the first moment someone offers him gentle kindness and safety he says 'okay i'll do my best' and then he DOES HIS BEST#fUCK DC writers who bad-faith Bane he worked SO hard to grow
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fuck
#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all#bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever#but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then#but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou#s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck#i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked#i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself#fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her#and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it#but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all#im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet#I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands#'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring#you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act#like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even#fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me#i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned
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#tag talk#starting to believe I might actually have a long term bf. it's still way too early to really plan long term but like.. things are working#he's way more emotionally mature and less damaged than anyone else I've been with and I think he'll support in the way I need#and I'm relatively emotionally intelligent so I know how to not trauma dump on him and just unload and vent#and I'm also just. yaknow. largely processed my trauma already so I'm fairly emotionally healthy excepting a few things.#he's kinda. normal? I think normal but in a good way. I'm the weird in this relationship and he's grounding.#I love him I think. like. not just the word but the feeling. I'm trying to attach slowly but I think I am.#I'm not sure I'm loving my therapist but she's not bad#we'll see how that plays out#she's trying to push for step five in my parent woes and I'm only on step three#not ready to accept the mom I have I'm busy mourning the mom I never had.#I don't think I'll stay no-contact forever. she's a lovely person but I need space I need space I need so much space from her right now.
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Me when they are the sisters ever: 😭😭😭 They came out soooo freaking well. I won’t lie, they took me a thousand years to finish but through the constant support from all of my buds (and my latent bisexuality), we made it 😤
Hopefully you guys know the deal by now: design choices, easter eggs, and (NEW!) closeup shots below the read more. ⬇️
I wanted Ace to have a very down-to-earth vibe and looked at Aussie beach-girls, coastal cowgirls, and vaqueras for reference. (IDK, I’ve just always envisioned Ace as part-Australian🌺 and Mexican 🏴☠️) Her clothing choices are mostly natural or utilitarian materials like the painted wooden beads on her top, her woven fabric and leather belts, and her denim jumpsuit. I gave her bikini top a zen-garden kind of feel because I read the first Ace’s Story Novel and I loved how idyllic and peaceful they made Sixis Island sound so I wanted to invoke that in some way.
Speaking of her painted wooden beads, they hang off the back of her top and represent her connection to Sabo and Luffy. They watch her back once she sets sail. She only wears one red glass bead earring because the other one got ripped out of her ear when a child, leaving her earlobe torn (don’t think about it too much 😢). Also, YES! she does wear a hibiscus flower just like Rouge (because I hate you and I want to make you cry, muhwahahahaha).
Also, I really wanted her to have super textured curly hair that licks behind her like flames. I am always considering whether or not a character should have long hair or not because I don’t want it to be a hindrance if they’re in a fight (or if they ARE a fighter with long hair, how to they avoid an enemy making use of that?). Ace is, of course, a Logia-type Devil Fruit User so I think she wouldn’t have trouble with people grabbing it LOL I get the feeling that she doesn’t take very good care of it even though it looks amazing. Like you’d think it would be soft and bouncy just by looking at it but if you ever get the chance to run your fingers through it, it’s a total rat’s nest and there’s sand and food all up in it. She still falls asleep while eating 😂 but she tries her best to only do it around people she can trust (woman moment 😔).
Honestly, her design is not that different from Ace’s canon look. It feels really vital to Ace’s character to have a lot of skin showing. And he’s always hanging all over himself with his hips all cocked like the weight of the world is too much to stand up straight. It is certainly not my OWN preference to make her an absolute smoke show. That’s just the character, okay? (I’m partially lying and the proof is that I turned the emblem on Ace’s hat strap into a sternum tattoo for no other reason than that it is sexy af.)
Here are some closeups of Ace:
Now for Sabo, I’ve made her very girly. I tried putting her in pants or something more militant but she told me that she’d wear the big poofy sleeves and hiked-up ruffled skirt. I think Sabo has always had a strong grasp on his fashion sense and individual flair and I truly believe that his personal style is one of the major influences for the rest of the Revolutionary Army resulting in the very flashy, queer, steampunk aesthetic (aside from Dragon’s plain-ass cloak). So of course I had to implement her nonconformist look when reimagining her as a woman and dress her up to the nines.
I’ve given her very ornate jewelry that is there to tell a story, even if she herself doesn’t know it. I like to think she picks up stuff from her travels that resonate with her, such as a damaged set of earrings with one stone missing or red cup-shaped shells featuring three nestled pearls. Another accessory that cannot go unmentioned is her dragon claw hat pin that keeps her top hat resting on top of her hair (and is definitely used as a weapon when the situation simply doesn’t call for trusty metal pipe). She also has a veil that obscures her prominent facial scar. I imagine she’s not very keen on the reminder of the incident from her childhood that took away her memories. I also kept her chipped toothed because 1) it’s fucking adorable and 2) is a visual reminder that she no longer aligns herself with the nobility who would have gotten such a thing fixed. She is so poised in almost every outward facet of her life from her dignified role as the Chief of Staff to the elegant materials in her clothing that it can be easy to forget she was also a rough and tumble forest dweller. Every time Koala remembers this, he lets out the biggest sigh.
Her hair is inspired by Gibson Girls and Elizabeth Swann from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I wanted it to be fussy and tidy but fall apart when she’s in moments of distress. For example, when she remembers her sisters, her hair starts to look like Ace’s flaming mane. I’m so in love with her, I think she looks like an adorable little porcelain doll that would fuck you up. I made an effort to keep her eyes a little bit manic. I get lost in her steely black orbs (and also Ace’s warm brown ones, but we’re talking about Sabo rn).
Here are her close-ups:
Plot notes for this AU:
For this series of character designs, I wanted the expressions and outfits to be aligned with the canon plot but I don’t know if I have the heart to kill fem!Ace in my AU. I’m too attached and ASL has suffered enough!!!!! But Ace’s death is also a major defining moment for Luffy so it feels disingenuous to completely avoid it. Also a huge aspect of Sabo’s character is carrying on Ace’s will and I have so many thoughts about how the Dressrosa Colosseum scene would play out if they were all women. Oh well, I’ll cross that tragic bridge when I get to it. I’m definitely going to draw some Modern AU Girl Piece ASL though. They deserve to hang out with no stakes 😭 They are sisters!!!
Check out the tag “girl piece” on my blog for my other One Piece genderbends! 🥰
#girl piece#one piece#one piece fanart#genderbend#portgas d ace#revolutionary sabo#ace#sabo#fem ace#fem sabo#fire fist ace#flame emperor sabo#asl brothers#asl sisters#op fanart#character design#cowgirl#steampunk#marineford spoilers#dressrosa spoilers#girl piece original design
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Despite Danny's best efforts, no matter how much time past, Amity Park refused to see Phantom as a hero.
Sure, there were pockets of support, particularly among teens, but most of the town blames Phantom for the property damage, saying if he didn't fight the ghosts then it wouldn't be so bad, to that time he got mind controlled by Freakshow and "attacked" the mayor. It wears him down. It wears Tucker and Sam down. Jazz can only try to support them all.
Then one day, a member of the Justice League visits. Someone minor, and kinda a jerk... maybe a Wonder Twin? Zan? Whatever. They don't investigate; they don't look deeper. They listen to the town folks and declare the ghost hunters, Red Huntress and the Fentons, to be the official heroes of the town.
Worse? Danny Phantom is officially considered a villain to the Justice League. Tuck hacks into the Watchtower and confirms that they have a file (a heavily inaccurate file) about how to defeat Phantom.
Danny doesn't think he can do this anymore.
A few weeks later, a young villain escapes into Amity and demands (begs) that Danny help them escape from the hero after them. No idea who, I can't find a lot of info on teen villains in DC, so let's fudge some ages and make it Kyd Wyckyd from the Teen Titans cartoon. Danny agrees, because to hell with the Justice Losers, and they defeat the hero, becoming friends in the process. Kyd confesses that they became a villain after being ostracized bc of how they look, and they've been trying to avoid villain organizations because HIVE was abusive, but it's really hard to be a villain alone bc of all the heroes.
Sam gets an idea. Tucker agrees with the idea. Jazz is just happy they'll end up making friends.
The next day, the Teen Villain Alliance is formed, ready to assist with any teenage illegal shenanigans their allies might get into.
Some notes:
It's created to be a healthier option for teen "villains" to connect with others and support each other.
It's more important that this is for Teens rather than Villains. They're tired of adult villains taking advantage of them. The TVA would rather ally with a teen vigilante than with an adult villain.
Again, no idea who the teen villains are, but Klarion is definitely here. He leaves the Light for the chaos of the TVA. Maybe Ember is there too?
Timeline wise, this is around when Tim is still Robin, but Damien has arrived at Wayne Manor.
This is because, when it comes time to try to infiltrate the TVA, they'll have a convenient child-assassin who has none of the monitors of a teen hero that Phantom immediately picks up on.
Damien, who at this point has been abandoned by his mother, dismissed and scolded by his father, and has had no success at carving his own place in the family, jumps at the chance. He is then surrounded by peers who don't insult him or try to change his behavior (too much; jazz is trying to help him find healthier methods of expressing himself). He... might not want to continue being a spy.
Danny, Sam, Tuck, and Jazz are the founding members.
Danny reinvents himself as the High Prince of the Infinite, Prince Phantom Dark. He got kingship from fighting Pariah Dark, but since he's still alive, he's only a prince. He steals the last name Dark as an intimidation tatic against those in the know; only Danny would have the balls to claim family with Pariah.
Sam works as a powerless villain, but she might no be powerless? Either way, Danny gives her a bunch of repurposed Fenton tech, and she buys the rest with her parents credit card. She does NOT care if that's traced back to the Mansons. She would choose something goth, maybe something spider related or even bat?
I love Pharaoh Tucker, so I think he should get magic powers? Since pharaohs of old were considered the balance between the real and the divine. He's still a tech guy, now he's a tech and magic guy.
Jazz isn't really a villain, more of a team mom who's planning on using everyone's psyche's as her thesis paper. You know what, that's her callsign, she's Psyche. Sometimes she flirts with Nightwing.
#dc x dp#villain!everlasting trio#dcxdp#villain danny phantom#teen villain alliance#c: danny fenton#c: sam manson#c: tucker foley#c: jazz fenton#c: kyd wyckyd#c: klarion the witch boy#c: batfamily#c: damien wayne#they don't have an agenda like most villain team ups#they're there to support each other commit crimes and play pranks on the justice losers#dp x dc#dp crossover#dc crossover
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Okay real talk, I do love how they handled enforcer Vi.
Vi, who became an enforcer as a way to avoid an invasion of Zaun. She put on the very badge that killed her parents in a riot in order to protect others from suffering the same fate. She's trying to protect them from Piltover, trying to root out its issues while causing the least damage possible.
It's so obvious how she isn't turning her back on her home, at least in her mind. She's doing her best to try and help while also sticking close to Caitlyn, because she's grieving the loss of her mother and she needs support.
But, like Jinx points out, Caitlyn's methods are far more ruthless than she was expecting. She tries so hard to justify them, because it's Caitlyn, and Cait is a good person who just wants to help. She's doing this because she agrees with Vi, because she doesn't want innocent people to die because of Jinx's actions. She would never let it get out of control.
Would she?
#arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane season 2#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#vi arcane#caitvi#violyn#vicait#piltover's finest#piltover's gayest
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Hi, guys. I try to keep my personal life off of here for the most part, but my partner and I have experienced a pretty bad blow, and I don't know what else to do. On Friday a private yacht backed into our sailboat, the Nautilus, with enough force to move the concrete dock we were tied to. The main mast was snapped in half, and we're still waiting to learn how bad the damage to the hull is.
We've worked on the Nautilus for years now as her crew, and this spring we put every cent we've been able to save over the last decade into buying her. All of our time has gone into sailing and maintaining her, and running our charter business - and now she's out of commission for the foreseeable future. Insurance will hopefully help, but we don't know anything concrete yet. The best case scenario is that with 8-9 months of work, we can have Nautilus sailing again by next summer - but in the meantime we still have the vessel's loan payments, and our own living expenses, and no source of income, let alone the repairs we'll need to begin sooner rather than later if we can hope to get her seaworthy by next summer.
I know things are hard for everyone right now, and I know we are incredibly lucky no one was hurt. One way or another Crow and I will get through this, and be okay, so please don't feel guilty for passing this by. But if you are inclined to help us get through the next few months, by donating or by sharing our fundraiser, I would be more grateful than I can express. I will be posting updates, photos, etc. on our Instagram page at nautilusmaine as we learn more, if anyone would like to follow along with what is hopefully the journey to rebuild her.
#nautilus#nautilus fundraiser#thank you for taking the time to read this.#nautilus gofundme#op#schooner bum life#although she's a ketch#and new enough (1978) that she has winches instead of belaying pins#it's hard to say how much she means to us and how devastating this is.
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Everyone in the Bat Clan has been noticing something over the years, specially about Tim.
Every so often he will go to do something with his hands or even his entire body, such as swaying or shaking his hands, but always stops himself.
There’s almost this look of annoyance on his face that just barely hides discomfort, but he brushes it off quickly.
Bruce noticed and, thinking about Robin more than anything, offered some kind of fidgeting device to help him stay on task, only for Tim to snap at him for the first time. It was his usual snark or commenting on Bruce’s well being, but a real moment of lashing out.
He decided then not to bother Tim about his clear want to move around it play with something even if it’s just his hands, mainly because he was doing his job well.
Yet, as he starts to really try and be a good parent to his kids and realises that Tim is one of the places he messed up most by basically using him to cope with grief, he decides to ask the rest of the family what they think.
Dick says it could be ADHD and he needs movements, with Barbara backing it up with a few websites in agreement.
Damian says he should mediate and Cass so what agrees but says it probably won’t help someone like Tim that much.
Duke and Steph make up a somewhat chaotic plan of coercing him into telling them what he needs, out of love and somewhat aggressive care.
It’s Jason who just scoffs and says, “It’s stimming, you idiots. He has like, super messed up standards cause of his parents, right? They probably didn’t allow it but he’s got that like, autastic thing.”
Only Jason Todd could say something so smart followed by completely idiocy.
But he is right, very much so. It might also explain why sometimes he seemingly couldn’t handle touch but when he panicked he need to be squeezed as tightly as possible.
Naturally, with a family of emotionally repressed vigilantes, they decide to subtly let him know it’s okay.
Dick is the worst with it, speaking far too loudly about how Autism is okay and how he wants to learn to support autistic kids, while Bruce thinks nodding along to this helps.
Damian just stares at Tim for five minutes before bailing and running away.
When a month passes and Tim seem more like he’s even more ashamed than anything my, Cass smashes her hand on the table at dinner and drags him out of the room to talk to him.
Tim is forced to sit and listen to his sister, who may or may not be his favourite sibling, talk about how he’s not damaged or wrong for needing to stim and move his body. She calls him out on how he is being a hypocrite, for accepting people like Bart and Barbara and and her for their disabilities whether ADHD or something physical but not himself.
Tim wouldn’t have been moved by this if it was anyone else, but never in all the time he’s known her has he heard Cass say so many words in one go nor can see her cry so much. She’s loud when she cries, making up for her silence, but it’s only something any of them have seen twice and that was Bruce and Steph.
He doesn’t just magically accept that he’s neurodivergent, nor does he ever want a title as to what is different about him, but the difference is still noticeable.
A week later him and Dick are watching an episode of their show and something Tim adores, a comic series, is referenced. Instead of what he usually does, that being sitting there as still as he can, he bats his hands around a for a few seconds before pausing and waiting for Dicks reaction.
When Dick beams at him brighter than a sun he continues, smacking the couch and even Dicks arm in his excitement.
A few days later he makes a high pitched noice just to get to an itch in his throat and doesn’t realise that Jason is there, yet when the other responds with the same noice, given a bit deeper, Tim smile. Bruce walks in on them making strange noises at each other in a sort of echo.
It’s months later when it’s his birthday and his family has come together to buy him a new, stupidly expensive camera only to reveal they also added a red light room in the manner for him to print them that they really see how much safer he feels.
He flaps his hands aggressively and jumps in place, rumbling out words that don’t all much and thanking them over and over.
He squeals happily but only has a moment where he looks shamed before Bruce holds out a flat palm for him to smack excitedly.
Later, when he gets overwhelmed and crashes a little, Duke lies on top of him to give him pressure only for Steph to sit on him.
#batfam#tim drake#bat family#dc comics#batfamily#dc universe#dc#tim drake is red robin#tim drake is a menace#damian wayne#Bruce Wayne#Jason Todd#dick grayson#Stephanie brown#cassandra cain#duke Thomas#barbara gordon#autistic tim drake#Tim Drake centric#Tim Drake angst#implied bad parents Jack and Janet Drake#jack and janet drake
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