#so really i am thinking about them for free..... i miss them BAD
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bluewaterhigh2005 · 3 months ago
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boss makes a dollar i make a dime that's why i think about roselissa on company time
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ox1-lovesick · 10 months ago
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hi
#life update nobody asked for lol#I missed you guys my pookie wookie dookies#I deleted all my social media and life is so great wow#still a lot of mental health problems but I'm finally learning to deal with my emotions and not hate life (wow)#is it bad for me to say I'm so glad I left blr#I will probably never come back here lol but I think (?) today is txt's debut anniversary and since I am the self proclaimed empress of moa#downgrading to a flip phone actually#I unstanned txt and all the kpop peoples too (SHOCKER)#I do feel really nostalgic and sad when I think about them but I think it was the thing I needed most#delulu is infact not the solulu#daydreaming about beomgyu being the new student at my school and being soobin's bestie was never the greatest idea hey#it's so freeing to not care about them and focus on what's infront of me#if you need a sign to start growing out of kpop and start worrying about your own life here it is babe 😭 don't let anybody give you shit#Not to say kpop is bad or anything I just think for me it was getting a bit out of hand#As much as we all make fun of the delulus it's so easy to fall down that spiral when these idols constantly tell you they love you#The parasocial relationship was REAL istg these people felt like my friends#Hueningkai does not give a FUCK about me and he is so real for that#Thinking about deleting this blog but I'm logging off after this so I very well may forget it exists again#But I just wanted to share what's been going on#And I miss you guys a lot#I may have outgrown kpop and tumblr but you all still have a special place in my heart#I miss the good old days 😭 when discord let's me back in I might visit wme#Not much has changed with me but mentally I feel like a whole new person#But I hope you all are doing GREAT#Living your best lives and doing things that make you happy#You owe it to yourself more than you owe these celebrities anything#xoxo savie 😝🤟🤟🔥🔥🔥
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leftoversludge · 25 days ago
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DEVASTATING: teen discovers their problems are shared by millions, yet the horrors persist
#it's me#i'm the teen#i have to stop mentally diagnosing myself and everyone around me with ocd i wish i never even heard of it dude it's bad#but yk it's cool 🤪 it's whatever 😜 it's groovy 😋#but like do you ever have that moment where you're like everything sucks and it's all my fault and i've made everything so much worse throug#h my inaction?? bc apparently fixating on the death of myself and others isn't just a me thingggg and everybody worries the world is going#collapse in on itself at any moment#i recognize my issues are all mental and i know they're silly and stupid so like why is it still there??? why can't i stop dwelling????#i also feel like i'm making bigger issues for myself by faking thoughts and idk how to explain this bc i know it's sounds crazy but i keep#forcing thoughts and making myself think about it for a solid moment before letting myself replace it with literally anything else or#disctracting myself with television and writing and social media#and i keep over analyzing every thought i have and everything other people say to me and dissect through the lense of what ive read about#ocd on official looking cites and i feel rude and wrong and disrespectful because of it and i just want to be present but the whole time im#having to think about how i am being present#and i think this problem could be solved if i just made friends and hung out with them or whatever but i feel like ive either missed that#boat or that everybody's already busy and doesn't want to talk to me and all of my friends actually have other friends that they primarily#talk to like i'm on everyone's back burner which is fine they should worry about their own shit but it's like i want to be someone's primary#friend#and in actuality what i really need to do is to stop thinking and this can only be done if someone were to give me a horse tranquilizer but#everyone thinks i'm joking when i say i want to be sedated#they're just “haha yea anxiety sucks” and i'm quivering and shaking like a freshly born lamb bc i cannot stand the state of the kitchen#knock me over the head with a 2x4 please please omigod please#but it's fine it's actually so cool and as long as i keep saying it's groovy everything will keep turning up roses so it's fine#god i need to get over myself#someone please tell me exactly how like step by step and preferably a free option as having to spend my mothers money gives me a panic attac#k#thank you 😘
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emile-hides · 6 months ago
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Just learned Ash Hat Pikachu were redistributed in Pokemon Sword/Shield in 2020 and I completely missed it. I don't think I'll ever emotionally recover from this.
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prettycottagequeer · 10 months ago
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ok maybe I'm a little late to this BUT I'm gonna do a to-do list motivation thingy because I've had the worst two weeks since I started college :)
SO these I should start on asap:
50 I make the snack I really want but I haven't had the motivation to make
100 I clean my dorm. another thing I've been meaning to do for a week
150 I do the presentation about mid-victorian fashion I've been putting off (due Monday)
200 I start memorizing the monologue that was due a week ago (now due Tuesday)
these can wait longer:
300 I spend time outside. It's so nice but I'm getting stuck scrolling because I feel like shit. vicious cycle ect
500 I start setting a better weekend routine (aka getting up before noon)
1k I start working out again. I was doing a routine to get more masc and build muscle and I liked it but life hit me like Crowley driving the Bentley and I've missed like 3 weeks
2k I buy my first binder. I've been coping with sports bras for almost a year now and I haven't been able to justify spending $50+ on a binder even though I know I'd love it and use it everyday.
Do I tag people? I don't know but I'm going to. @the-globe-theatre-maggot @weirdly-specific-but-ok @howmanyholesinswisscheese
here's just some context if you want to read, feel free to skip. some of this I've talked about in the maggot server, some I haven't, but I really just need a place for this to go that's out of my head. tw homophobia, transphobia, car crash(??)
How I Have Been Run Over By The Bentley Going 90 In Central London What Feels Like 50 Times In The Last Two Weeks
I'm going to college about 4 hours away from my parents, and it's been really nice. They.. suck, to say the least. transphobic/homophobic ect, super traditional conservative catholic, racist, all of it. so i tried to move somewhere where I wouldn't have to think about them and I could be myself and do what I can to be happy. March 1st was the start of my spring break, which meant going home because the dorms close. I was already not excited, but I was prepared. the problem with being away from home is I forget just how bad they are. My optimism gets the better of me and I think maybe this time they'll be better. so I decided to not hide my septum piercing.
that was a mistake. it starts a whole fight where they say we know you're trans, you're actually a girl and you always will be, we have the bones argument, they think I'm being influenced by demons or something (if only they knew about crowley) because I want to change my name, and they tell me that going on t will completely ruin my body and give me cancer and other things. They're also mad about my dyed hair, septum, and general style, and say I'm setting a terrible example for my (5) younger siblings and make it a point to tell me just how much of a disappointment I am. I think I'm pretty cute and fun but y'know, whatever. very fun time. I lie so much, don't give them any more details about my identity, and say I'm not planning to go on t to save my ass. which is all on instinct which makes me feel worse because if I'm really trans I should be able to stand up for that, right? maybe I'm faking the dysphoria.
the next morning I wake up really sick, and spend the rest of the week sick and feeling like shit because I'm home and back in the same place and situation I was a year ago that I thought I escaped. at one point I pretty much lose my voice but also kind of get gender euphoria from it. it's weird.
On Friday it's time for me to drive back 4 hours to school, and I make it about 3/4 of the way when google maps takes me on a random gravel road and I crash my car, really crash my car, like sideways-in-a-ditch-windows-broken-crawling-up-out-the-door crash it in the middle of nowhere. (I was fully paying attention to the road, it was raining and super slick) I call my parents because I have no one else to call and I sit in a Subway for 3 hours while they drive to get my car. when they get there they're (understandably) really mad, and they tell me that I'm not mature enough to be going to school so far away and I need to get my shit together and stop depending on them. which. is probably true. but made me feel even more stupid about the fact that I crashed my car. I get back to school and I'm still Very Sick with no energy or motivation to do anything. So I've spent the last week trying to get better and honestly to do anything. it hasn't really worked. I'm a lot better health-wise (Not emotionally), still sick but I have a lot of work due, so I really need a push to get started
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astonmartinii · 1 year ago
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big reputation | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x fem reader
they may have a big reputation and they may be end game, but sometimes you need a push from your girlfriend to enter your reputation era
(also no hate to vasseur and sainz, it's just the way the fic had to go)
MASTERLIST | TIPS
f1newsandgossip
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liked by user1, user2 and 13,209 others
f1newsandgossip: after ferrari's continued chaos and inability to get anything right it seems, do you think charles leclerc will stick around and renew his contract?
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user3: i love him and i love ferrari but if he wants any shot of winning a championship he has to leave
user4: i would die to see him at red bull or even mercedes
user5: would he want to be a second driver though?
user4: babes they treat him like he's the second driver at ferrari at least there he'd have a competent car and team
user6: yes ! he has to leave, no one at that team respects him anymore
user7: he should've left a long time ago but this season has to be the final nail in the coffin
user8: all he does it protect ferrari and ferrari don't even give a shit about him it's actually sad
user9: they don't even protect him from his teammate and his teammate's parents being rude about him in the media
user10: for real the man needs to stop being a team player and tell him how it is
user11: i feel so so bad for him because his childhood dream is turning into a nightmare and through no fault of his own
user12: i know y/n is absolutely seething and the only reason she hasn't said anything yet is because charles is so in love with the team that he won't say anything bad about them
user13: i need her to give him a lil slap around to get his head in gear
yourusername
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liked by alexalbon, charles_leclerc and 1,309,556 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: you and me got a big reputation
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user14: me being delusional: OMG THIS MEANS CHARLES IS FINALLY ENTERING HIS REPUTATION ERA
user15: and then we remember rep is an album about love first and revenge second :(
charles_leclerc: is this a taylor swift reference?
yourusername: yes it is !! i knew you were actually listening when i gave you the full eras breakdown
charles_leclerc: i'd listen to you talk about anything
yourusername: even the things you don't want to hear?
charles_leclerc: i think it has gotten to that point, yes.
user16: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN ^^ ???
alexalbon: when will i be freed from the shackles of having to take cute photos of you two
yourusername: NEVER
charles_leclerc: is a seat on my jet not enough?
alexalbon: YOUR JET? i have clearly missed something here
maxverstappen1: alex is always free to fly air max (MY jet, factually)
yourusername: when did this become a dick measuring contest? (charles would win, you can all go home)
maxverstappen1: i don't want you to see my dick
charles_leclerc: i should think not verstappen
alexalbon: i don't know how i hang out with you morons
user17: gosh y/n is so sexy
user18: i am allowing myself to live in delusion and after the shitshow that was austin, y/n is initiating the reputation era and charles will either give ferrari hell or actually leave
user19: idk that man might be completely in love with y/n but he's even more in love with ferrari
charles_leclerc: nothing compares to her
user20: WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?
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charles_leclerc
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liked by georgerussell63, yourusername and 1,204,509 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: hola mexico! can't wait for the weekend to start
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user22: post your team or car? no. post a random picture of your girlfriend? yes.
user23: he should post an explanation as to why his gf was being wined and dined by christian horner
yourusername: ZOOWEE MAMA
charles_leclerc: excuse me?
yourusername: instagram would ban me if i really said what i think
charles_leclerc: oh i'm blushing
yourusername: but always above all you are a cutie patootie
user24: i see posts like this and i wonder why do they always have break up rumours if they are this in love?
user19: bestie we simply cannot be believing everything we read, especially when it comes from a certain spanish paper
liked by yourusername
user24: wait what is this supposed to mean?
user19: any "insider source" at ferrari that has anti-leclerc info is usually the sainz family lol that's why other than ferrari being clowns in general charles needs to get the fuck out
pierregasly: rivalling me with just how much you post y/n
charles_leclerc: ummmm you've met her, and you wouldn't?
charles_leclerc: WAIT don't answer that
user25: so are we just ignoring that y/n was at dinner with CHRISTIAN HORNER?
user26: the red bull!charles dream a bit more feasible now and i am appropriately feral
user27: obsessed with how he's just ignoring the horner thing
user28: i am similarly obsessed with how the media are spinning this to an affair between y/n and horner LMAO
yourusername: he made us split the bill after ordering a really spenny wine :/
user29: I'M CRYING
user30: horner's like if i don't get a driver out of this dinner i will be having a nice glass of wine he's so real for that
scuderiaferrari: let's get it 💪
user31: GET A JOB. LEAVE HER ALONE
liked by yourusername
user32: lol she's so tired of being subtle
user33: TELL THEM SIS
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f1
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liked by yourusername, redbullracing and 1,450,667 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
f1: BREAKING: charles leclerc signs for red bull racing for 2024 on a four year contract
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user36: they're MUGGY for the first picture omg
user37: SOMEONE CALL THE EMERGENCY SERVICES FOR ME I CAN'T BREATHE
user38: wait so like who do i have to thank for finally making this happen?
user39: this has y/n y/ln written all over it - the dinner with horner finally makes sense
pierregasly: WHAT ?????????
user40: HE'S FINDING OUT AT THE SAME TIME AS US? DID ANYONE KNOW?
user41: THERE WILL BE NO EXPLANATION JUST REPUTATION
liked by yourusername
user42: okay since y/n and charles have referenced the reputation album so much during this whole fiasco .... taylor swift x charles leclerc piano ballad collab when?
user43: so this is il predestinato who has betrayed his team and completely blindsided him? this is why carlos has always been the superior driver
liked by carlossainz55
user44: not carlos liking this comment
yourusername: i wish he would say something with his chest, always hiding behind his parents and the spanish media ... yeah we know about that and we're no longer under that stupid contract so i can and will say this all to your face
user45: HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTT
carlossainz55: you got the move and attention you wanted stop trying to drag me into it
yourusername: babe there's a difference between you and i, you create fake cheating rumours to try and shake your teammate while your PR team is fulltime constantly having to threaten legal action over you not being able to keep it in your pants
user46: ERM QUEEN THEY STILL HAVE RACES TOGETHER
redbullracing: anyways.... WELCOME TO THE TEAM CHARLES
user47: admin what is going on?
redbullracing: i have no clue but as soon as that man is in a navy race suit i will get the tea trust
user48: so real of you
maxverstappen1: ☕️
user49: LMAO KING
yourusername: i have a feeling we might get on (no more inchidents though)
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yourusername
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liked by danielricciardo, charles_leclerc and 1,344,099 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: they said i did something bad, why does it feel so good?
view all comments
user51: momma does not play oh my
taylorswift: proud 🖤 🐍
yourusername: approved by our lord and saviour, thanks mother
charles_leclerc: do you need a pianist?
taylorswift: i'm sure we can work something out
landonorris: ^^ this is so unfair i thought i was the swiftie on the grid :(
danielricciardo: my rendition of our song says otherwise
user52: she really said FUCK FERRARI AND FUCK YOU TOO
user53: as she should
charles_leclerc: i'm not a playboy but i do LOVE YOU
yourusername: i love you even more
charles_leclerc: NUH UH I LOVE YOU MORE
yourusername: i would literally fight every person on earth for your hand
charles_leclerc: oh wow ... mark me scared AND horny
alexalbon: okay that's ENOUGH
user54: i'm so glad she shook him out of the ferrari daze he. might finally have a chance at the championship now
user55: i'd be afraid that ferrari may build a good car next year but then i remember it's ferrari LOL
user56: so y/n mentioned under the f1 post about a contract? was she not able to say anything about ferrari while with charles?
yourusername: yes. i was not able to say anything they considered negative. many times when i expressed disappointment in how charlie has been treated i was reprimanded by ferrari and was banned from the paddock for weekends following any statements
user57: wtf that is crazy ??? makes sense as to why charles always blames himself when it was clearly a pit/strategy issue
yourusername: ferrari have attempted to keep charlie under wraps since his second season at the team. they were worried about him becoming outspoken like seb. this goes all the way down to his music which they tried to prevent him from releasing. i'm glad he'll be given the chance to show his talents next season
user58: thank the lord charles finally left. this is insane. the reputation era was well and truly needed.
maxverstappen1: kelly wants to know whether now you'll be wag teammates that you can raid each other's wardrobes?
yourusername: of course !!! i can't wait to see her more often coffee dates are a must ( + p of course)
charles_leclerc: i'm gonna beat your ass at padel i WILL be the padel king at red bull
maxverstappen1: i will show NO MERCY
yourusername: maybe this was a bad idea ...
charles_leclerc
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,332,909 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: it saddens me to my core to be leaving the team i always dreamed of racing for and winning with, but there comes a point in your career when it's time to put your ambitions above tradition. ferrari has always been the dream for me, but the last couple of years have been a nightmare. i never thought i'd be put in a position where i'd have feelings like these about the team i love, but the constant disrespect, betrayal and the treatment of my loved ones leaves me no other choice. despite this sad ending, i am looking forward to new opportunities at red bull, racing alongside an old friend and under a competent leadership. finally, thank you to y/n and my family for being there for me during this time despite the way we were all treated. i know i will get questions, but there will be no explanation, just reputation.
view all comments
user59: he really left comments open so we could drag ferrari
user60: and drag i shall do... that man despite the absolute tomfoolery got that shitbox on the podium and NONE OF YOU SHOWED UP
user61: for real, they're out here trying to show charles as petty but then KEEP PROVING HIS POINT LOL
yourusername: i am so unbelievably proud of you. i know this was a hard choice but it's the one you had to make. today and every other day i will always be there to support you even if no one else is
user62: subtle DRAG
charles_leclerc: i love you to the moon and to saturn
yourusername: you're my invisible string
yourusername: also this is what i mean when i say reputation is a love story with a side of shade
user63: i know binotto let out a sigh of relief that he dodged this shit storm
yourusername: that fraud is SO lucky i was under contract while he was there otherwise i'd drag his ass so bad he'd be bald
charles_leclerc: i don't know how he made it out of silverstone alive after the whole finger wagging saga, i had to hold her back
sebastianvettel: i hate to say i told you so .....
charles_leclerc: SEB ????? BUT I'M DOING IT NOW, I'M NOT WASTING IT (tell christian to give me the better strategies i know you're still the o.g golden boy)
maxverstappen1: you know i can see this right?
christianhorner: and me?
charles_leclerc: @yourusername baby please take the fall for me
yourusername: I COMMENTED THAT
maxverstappen1: you guys really aren't slick... you're lucky i already love you two
christianhorner: i feel like i need to brief PR already
yourusername: if it makes it any better i'm a great baker and very generous
redbullracing: WE'LL TAKE IT
user64: @netflix make sure there's a camera in that garage at ALL TIMES
pierregasly: proud of you calmar, i hope this works out better for you than it did for me
yourusername: NO ROOM FOR PITY PARTY HERE SIR
yourusername: wait that was rude, we love you pierre
charles_leclerc: thank you pierre
pierregasly: ummmmmm tell y/n she can't say that ???
charles_leclerc: she made me see the light kinda owe her everything rn, so sorry?
christianhorner: definitely brief PR
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note: teehee here it is. MY GOD my writing block has been insane - i also went on a trip to london and got horrendously drunk and made AWFUL decisions. alas, i hope you guys enjoy this and the race later !!
EDIT: I AM SO FUCKING ANNOYED AT THIS RACE ONE DAY WHERE CHARLES IS NOT FUVKED OVER IS ALL I ASK WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THIS
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tinycoffeeroom · 8 months ago
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just friends | lando norris
face claim: none ♡
request: here !
part 2 !
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
📍 sass cafe, monaco
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👤 bffstagram, landonorris liked by bffstagram, landonorris and 59,203 others
y/nstagram dj lando came out of retirement for the night🤠
landonorris 😎 only for you xx ↳ y/nstagram i'm honoured mr norris 🫡 ↳ fan i love my besties who don't know they're my besties
bffstagram bro my tummy hurts ↳ y/nstagram i'm coming round with coffee and croissants you big baby ↳ bffstagram i love my gf ♥️ y/nstagram
fan i wanna party with y/nlando so BAD dude ↳ y/nstagram if you ever find yourself in monaco hmu xx
user ew flipping off the camera so ladylike ↳ y/nstagram idk your mum quite likes my fingers 🫶 ↳ fan ☠️☠️☠️ i love her
fan bffstagram is so hot, i need her ↳ bffstagram thank u babycakes 💗
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liked by bffstagram, lilymhe and 69,928 others
y/nstagram rainy days in monaco 🌧️
lilymhe i deserve financial compensation for the emotional turmoil tfios sent me through ↳ y/nstagram don't,,, sat and sobbed my eyes out at the last 100 pages
fan how to lose a guy in 10 days... tfios... who hurt you y/n? ↳ y/nstagram hahahah nothing like that! i promise i'm all good!
bffstagram i still have a headache from crying at that book, next time i choose what we're reading for book club ↳ y/nstagram BORINGGGGG who doesn't love doomed romance? ↳ fan you guys have a book club? thats so cute 😭 ↳ y/nstagram yep! it's me, bff, kika, lily and flavy!! ↳ alexandrasaintmleux and no one thought to invite me?? ↳ y/nstagram come join us babe!! ❤️
landonorris wow, didn't take you for a sappy romance reader ↳ y/nstagram there's a lot you don't know about me comment deleted ↳ y/nstagram tfios can make even the iciest bitch cry (it's me, i'm the icy bitch)
landonorris also answer ur damn texts ↳ y/nstagram sorry idk how to read suddenly ↳ fan The Lando Norris gets aired, there's hope for the rest of the bitchless community ↳ landonorris dude...
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liked by fan, fan and 103,028 others
f1gossip Eagle eyed Sass Cafe goers managed to capture Lando Norris getting cosy with an unknown blonde girl. Rumoured girlfriend Y/N L/N was nowhere to be seen. Trouble in paradise for the young duo?
fan delete this rn y'all are fucking up my y/nlando chances
fan rumoured girlfriend?? i thought they were just friends ↳ fan that's what they both say, but they're always very close whenever they've been seen out together ↳ fan i'm pretty sure there was like a super grainy photo of them kissing but you can't really tell if it's either of them ↳ fan hey how about we don't speculate on people's love lives???
fan y/n has been absent from social media for like a month too ... its so over for us y/nlando'ers
fan her instagram is girlstagram! from what i could see before she went private, she posted a selfie of her and lando and they looked very close ↳ fan damn the fbi needs to hire you or smth
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liked by bffstagram, estebanocon and 65,928 others
y/nstagram thuggin it out (i've listened to your best american girl 34 times today i think bffstagram is about to smother me with a pillow)
fan um who hurt my bestie ???
fan whoever hurt y/n must die at the hand of my sword
fan lando norris i am in your walls FIX THIS
bffstagram i would never smother you xx also come out of ur room it is boring as FUCK out here ↳ y/nstagram damn cant a girl go through it in peace? ↳ bffstagram absolutely not, i have wine and nibbles get out here NEOOWWW or i'm breaking into ur room ↳ y/nstagram the door is open babygirl
fan ik this is a parasocial friendship but are you ok y/n? ☹️ we love you ↳ y/nstagram oh sweetie ❤️ i'll be fine, sometimes you just gotta be a lil sad y'know? thank you for asking, ily ❤️ ↳ fan ily, take care of yourself 🥺 ♥️ y/nstagram
estebanocon chérie, i don't know what's wrong but i hope you're ok! lets grab coffee soon, flavy misses you! ☺️ ↳ y/nstagram thank u este 🫶🥺 text me when you're free! tell flavy i love her 💗 ↳ flavy.barla i love you too 💕 ♥️ y/nstagram
fan no lando like, i have one (1) fear ↳ fan do not even speak that into the universe
fan after f1gossips post, i have my speculations ↳ fan dude, if he fumbled y/n he really will be lando nowins
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liked by flavy.barla, francisca.c.gomes and 10 others
y/npriv absolutely not thuggin it out lads
flavy.barla chouchou (sweetheart) 💔 that's it, me and este are taking you out for lunch tomorrow ↳ y/nstagram nooo don't let me ruin your date time!! ↳ flavy.barla nope it's already done! este's booked that little restaurant you like on pl. du casino ↳ y/nstagram le salon rose?? oh i could do a little weep, i love you guys 😭 ↳ flavy.barla we love you so so much y/n 💕
lilymhe i will hit him with my golf clubs ↳ y/nstagram i haven't even mentioned anyone? ↳ lilymhe we all know their name rhymes with bando borris ↳ y/nstagram wdym we all know? who else knows? ↳ flavy.barla ... me ↳ alexandrasaintmleux ^ ↳ francisca.c.gomes ^ ↳ lilynzeimer ^ ↳ heidiberger_ ^ ↳ carmenmmundt ^ ↳ kellypiquet ^ ↳ iamrebeccad ^ ↳ y/nstagram ok ok i get it damn
kellypiquet want me to ask max to rear end him with his race car? ↳ y/nstagram as if max would ever be behind lando ↳ kellypiquet 😳😳😳 ↳ y/nstagram i may l*ve him but i am also a realist ↳ y/nstagram ok no i do feel bad
y/nstagram uploaded to their story
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[caption 1: love of my life, apple of my eye, the thelma to my louise 💖 @/flavy.barla] [caption 2: damn stole my girl from right in front of me 😔 @/estebanocon @/flavy.barla]
seen by landonorris, flavy.barla and 67,394 others
flavy.barla mon ange (my angel), you know you're the only one for me 💕 ↳ y/nstagram tell that to your giant of a boyfriend :(
estebanocon i'm not a giant 😠 ↳ y/nstagram stop reading flavy's messages weirdo ↳ y/nstagram but on a real note, thank you for dinner, i really needed it ↳ estebanocon of course, i'm not sure what lando's done but we hate seeing you so sad ↳ y/nstagram who said it had anything to do with lando? ↳ estebanocon whenever me and flavy have an argument she pulls out the mitski lyrics, i know the signs ↳ y/nstagram that's different, you and flavy are dating ↳ estebanocon and you and lando aren't???? ↳ y/nstagram what? no? we're just friends ↳ estebanocon oh mon amie naïve (my naive friend) friends don't look at each other the way the two of you do
landonorris can we talk? seen
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anyone interested in a part 2?
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redhead1180 · 9 months ago
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Bad Day
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Pairing - Dom!Rafe x reader x soft Dom!JJ
Summary - You are having a really bad day. Your boyfriends think that it will be an easy fix, come to find out you weren't in the mood for them.
Words - 3.4k
Warnings - some Noncon, spanking with belt, slapping, fingering, nipple play, cursing, DP, self doubt, name calling, degradation kink, praise kink, pain kink, choking, chokehold. I think that's it, please let me know if I missed anything.
A/N: I had insomnia last night and this idea came to mind. I have not wrote for Rafe before, so hoping I do him justice. I felt like the boys needed someone to come back at them, as see how they react. Hopefully this isn't shit, appreciate any and all constructive criticism.
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I walk into Tannyhill, slamming the door behind me, storming past JJ watching TV and Rafe in his office. I made a beeline for our bedroom, just wanting a bubble bath to forget this day. In my haste, I missed the look from each of them, wondering why I was in a mood. And I missed them coming to the foot of the stairs and watching me stomp up them, grumbling the whole time.
“I have to finish this call, so why don’t you go see what’s up her ass” Rafe told JJ. He nodded and headed up the stairs behind me.
I was taking off my jewelry at the dresser, lost in thought about my day at work. Rafe, JJ, and I had turned heads when it came out that we were a throuple 8 months ago. We knew there would be lots of gossip and assumptions, but we really were happy together. Yes, there were times the boys fought, mainly over that instilled Pogue vs Kook hatred, but it was just snide remarks most of the time. I had thought by now the gossip would be over. Boy was I wrong.
I was so deep in thought that I didn’t hear JJ come in. I felt him arms wrap around my waist from behind and instantly knew it was him. He pressed his body up against mine and placed his chin on my shoulder.
“What’s the matter, princess,” he asked into my ear.
“Nothing” I grumbled out, brushing his arms off me and walking to the closet. JJ furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes following me.
“Well something’s got your panties in a wad” JJ said a little impatiently. A little irked at your attitude, but trying to keep from losing his patience. That was normally Rafe.
“It’s nothing, J, just leave me alone,” I huff out grabbing clothes and going to walk past him to the bathroom. I try to brush past him, but he grabs my hips and pulls me up against him.
“C’mon tell Papa J what’s the matter” he cheekily says, rubbing his thumbs on my hips.
“It’s nothing, now stop it I’m not in the fucking mood” I scoff out pushing his arms off me and turning to walk to the bathroom. Before I could take two steps, JJ wrapped one arm around my waist and another around my neck, putting me in chokehold.
“Listen, princess, I am trying to be fucking patient here, but this attitude is going to have to stop. Remember who you’re fucking talking to here. Now. What. Is. The. Problem.” He punctuates those words.
“Nothing” I insist as I begin to struggle in his arms. “I just want to take a bubble bath and lay down. Now please just leave me THE FUCK ALONE!” I shouted as I pushed on JJ’s arms and wiggle in his hold trying to break free. Which was how Rafe found us a minute later.
“HEY!” He shouted at us, “What the fuck is going on?” His eyes wide and a scowl on his face. “What the fuck is wrong with you two?
“Go ahead, princess, tell him what you told me.” JJ demanded knowing, usually, I would not yell or act that way with Rafe. But today was different and I was seriously in a mood. He let me go so I could look at Rafe.
“I’ll tell you the same thing I told him, I just want a bath and to be left the fuck ALONE!” I shouted the last part. I turned around not waiting for an acknowledgement from Rafe and headed to the bathroom. I heard JJ chuckle a “Oh hell nah” and before I could get in the bathroom and close the door, Rafe had me by the back of my neck, pulling me back and pushing me to bed. He literally tossed me on it, without any gentleness.
I immediately tried to get back up and get off the bed, but Rafe tossed me back on there. Before I could react, Rafe had me on my stomach, his hands locked around my ankles. JJ grabbed my wrists and pulled them above my head and between his legs. I struggled against them both, bucking my hips and kicking as best I could. Rafe slapped my ass hard, making me growl in frustration. I kicked at Rafe and tried to jerk my arms from JJ, it was really no use but I was so frustrated I couldn’t help it. JJ grabbed my throat and jerked me up to look at him. His face was red from the struggle, but also cause he was pissed at the moment. Rafe slapped my other ass cheek to get me to stop, but I struggled harder.
“Y/N, STOP, or so help me I will take this belt off and use it on your ass” Rafe hisses at me from behind still holding my ankles.
“Princess, just tell us what’s wrong, stop this” JJ pleaded. He was pissed, just as much as Rafe, but he still was more gentle because he saw there was something genuinely wrong and he hated seeing me upset.
I thought about it, as tears formed on my lash line. But I didn’t know how to explain the way being called a slut, whore, trailer trash, money hungry, and bitch had built up this frustration and self-consciousness. I really did love my boys, and sure we enjoyed Rafe’s money to some extent, but JJ and I both had jobs. I didn’t sit up Tannyhill in fucking lingerie waiting like some kept woman for my sugar daddies. We had sex, obviously lots of sex, and explored each other together. I wasn’t just some fuck toy to them. I was more than that to our relationship, wasn’t I?
I pushed back the thoughts and the tears and struggled harder. Why in my head I felt the need to be a brat and not just communicate, well I’m a woman. We have bad days. What can I say. And I was having a very bad fucking day.
“Nothing is fucking wrong, now let me go” I said very low and cold to JJ, looking him straight in the eye. He looked at me, tongue in cheek, then looked up at Rafe and nodded.
“Fucking hell, Y/N.” Rafe huffed out as I heard his belt unbuckle and then a snap. Rafe reached up, grabbed my shorts and panties pulling them off me in one motion. JJ had wrapped his legs around my body to keep me down, since Rafe had to let go to undo his belt.
“Why can’t you just tell us and stop being a fucking brat.” Rafe scowled at me. “This gonna hurt you more than me.”
I heard a whoosh of air and then felt the belt against my bare ass. The sting and burn from the leather made me gasp out, but I continued to struggle. Rafe slapped me again, this time I let out a muffled scream, the stinging and burning sensation intensified. I felt myself start to get a little wet from the spanking. He hit me a third time and I just screamed this time and grabbed JJ’s shirt, pulling on it to help ground me. I was feeling the heat buildup in stomach and My ass already feeling raw.
“Baby, please just stop struggling and tell us so he will quit.” JJ whispered to me. I let out a choked “No” and I saw his jaw tick from frustration. Rafe hit me two more times and stopped. I was silently crying, my face pushed into the mattress. My ass was raw and stinging, but my pussy was throbbing and I could feel dribbles of my arousal run down my thighs.
Rafe ran his hands gently over my red, burning, and stinging ass soothingly. Pulling my hips up to push my butt more in the air.
“If she won’t tell us after a punishment, maybe she’ll tell us for an orgasm” Rafe taunted. “We just want to know why your so upset, but you can’t act this way baby. That’s not how this works.” He began to run his fingers through my folds. “Fuck JJ she is soaked” Rafe teases. “JJ we are going to come up with another punishment, she enjoys these spankings too much.”
Rafe’s fingers explore through my folds, making me moan into the bed. JJ lets go with his legs and I feel him reach for the hem of my shirt pulling it slowly and over my head. He gently rubs his hands down my back, before unhooking my bra and removing it. He places his hands under my arms and pulls me up to him. Rafe is still just exploring with his fingers and gently rubbing my cheeks with his other hand. My mind was turning hazy and my pussy was throbbing, from the mixture of pain and gentleness the boys were giving.
I was waiting for them to ask again what was wrong, but they didn’t. JJ cupped my face and kisses me. Rafe at the same time slid in one finger, I gasped and JJ slid his tongue in, exploring my mouth with it. JJ slid his fingers in my hair and pulled me closer to deepen the kiss and I moaned into his mouth, melting completely. Rafe slid in another finger and began peppering my red striped ass with open mouth kisses. I whimpered from the sting and grabbed JJ’s shirt, pulling him closer. I couldn’t stop myself, I began rolling my hips and meeting Rafe’s fingers as he pumped them inside me at a slow and steady pace. JJ let his other hand ghost down my neck to my breast and began to pinch and rub my nipple. My insides were on fire, I was a moaning mess, I needed them to do more so I could reach my peak.
“More” I rasped out in JJ’s mouth.
“Not till you tell us what’s wrong” JJ muttered in that low husky voice that made me swoon.
Rafe was beginning a trail of kisses up my back, his pace with his fingers slowing just a bit.
“We just want to fix what’s wrong, baby” Rafe murmured against my skin.
“You can’t fix it” I said sullenly.
They both stopped and looked at me.
“I mean not unless you can get the whole damn county to stop talking about us and calling me names and slurs” I sniffled hiding my face in JJ’s neck.
“I’ll fucking kill all of them” Rafe growled behind me. He jerked his fingers out of me, causing me to yelp, as he got up and started pacing. “I’m going to kill them all, and throw their fucking dead carcasses in the ocean, then I will buy this whole goddamn fucking island, where it’s just us and no one will hurt you again baby.” He ranted.
JJ and I shared a look like WTF.
“Yeah, ok, not helping, yo limp dick, you mind coming back down to reality here?” JJ hollered to Rafe as he threw my bra at his head, causing me to giggle. Rafe snapped his head around with a murderous look, that he immediately dropped when he saw us there.
“You got any better ideas, simpleton” Rafe sneered at JJ.
“Yeah as I matter of fact I do. I say for tonight we make our girl feel like the princess she is, cause she deserves it. Then you and I, starting tomorrow, are going to have a talk with some of the asshole patrons of this godforsaken place, to see if we can ‘encourage’ them to shut the hell up.” JJ said.
They continued to stare at each other, as if having a secret conversation, you were not to be a part of. Rafe finally gave a quick nod and simply said “Ok” and moved back to the bed.
“Now where we” JJ muttered into my lips.
“Wait” I leaned back, JJ huffs, “How are you going to encourage them” I ask.
“Don’t worry about it baby” Rafe hummed from behind me as fingers slid back in my still soaked pussy. “Not any of your concern” he murmured against my back.
“Now shut up and relax, princess” JJ instructs as he claims my mouth.
I moan into the kiss and say fuck it in my mind. JJ cups my breast kneading, squeezing, pinching and rubbing it. Rafe pushes my thighs under me, leaving my pussy and puckered hole bare. He continues to pump his fingers in and out as he gently kitten licks my tight ringed hole. I gasp into JJ’s mouth from surprise, my body immediately feeling the fire from moments ago. I tug on JJ’s shirt wanting to feel his skin on mine. He breaks the kiss long enough to tug his shirt off and goes back to what he was doing. Rafe speeds up his fingers and begins working his tongue through my tight muscles. Jolts of electricity pulse through my body as sensations hit me from every direction. I can feel the heat in my core begin to rage as my orgasm begin to build. I whine and whimper into JJ’s mouth, unable to form words.
“That feel good baby girl?” JJ coos before slamming his mouth back down on mine.
I let out a muffled “Mhmm”. My brain unable to do anything else.
Rafe is now completely fucking my ass with his tongue while his fingers have curled to hit that sweet spot inside me. I wrap my arms around JJ, clinging to him, while rolling my hips to meet Rafe’s fingers and tongue. I whine and moan as I feel my core tingle, signaling my release is close.
“M’close” I whimper out into JJ’s mouth. He reaches down with his other hand and begins to rub my clit as fast as Rafe’s fingers fuck me. Within seconds I feel myself tumble over the edge, and I scream out. My vision turning white and I see stars, my juices spilling all over Rafe and JJ’s hands. When they feel me relax and still in a haze, they both completely strip. Rafe lays down on the bed and pulls me on him, while JJ gets behind me. For once not arguing who got to fuck which hole.
“You did so good baby, you got one more for daddy and Papa J?” Rafe praised as he positions me on top of him, so that both boys have access.
“Yeah” I gasp, feeling myself preen from the praise and wanting to be their good girl. “I am your good girl” I mumble into his chest. I hear his chest rumble from laughing.
“Yes, you are baby, you’re our sweet baby girl” JJ whispers in my ear. “You ready, princess?”
“Mhmm”
I feel JJ raise me up by hips and see Rafe line himself up and slide himself into my swollen, sensitive cunt. He let out a moan as he felt my walls squeeze around him. I moaned out loud as I felt him stretching my walls, thankful I was so wet so he slid in easy. From behind I heard JJ open and close a tube, and then felt the cool lube hit my hole. He gave me a minute to adjust to Rafe. I let out a gaspy “Ok” signaling to JJ I was ready. I felt his tip at my ringed muscles and closed my eyes to relax, he begins to push in and I sucked in air and dug my fingers into Rafe’s chest.
“Oh God” I moaned out as JJ slowly pushed himself inside me. “Fuckkk” I pushed my forehead onto Rafe’s chest, as he slid his hand down to rub my clit, easing the pain of JJ sliding in. Rafe holding still, gritting his teeth occasionally by me involuntarily clenching around him from JJ’s movements.
“Will you hurry up, dude, she is clenching so damn much, I’mma blow my load” Rafe fussed at JJ.
“Dude I’m not gonna fucking hurt her just cause you can’t handle your dick” JJ hisses back. Rafe throws his head back in the pillow with a huff. I whined and whimpered until JJ was completely sheathed inside me.
“Breath baby” JJ almost moaned as he and Rafe waited for me to give them the okay to move.
“Ok” I said breathlessly, signaling they could move.
Rafe begins to thrust up in me as JJ thrust from the back. I gasped and threw my head back, still sensitive from my previous orgasm. Eventually settling on a rhythm, my moans became louder as I began to get lost in the pleasure engulfing my body. Rafe ran his hand up my stomach and over my breast, before squeezing around my neck. JJ slid both hands down my arms, reaching my wrists and pulling my arms behind my back, both speeding up their thrusts.
“Look at you being such a greedy slut,” Rafe grunted. “It takes two dicks to satisfy you, huh?”
I couldn’t answer, my brain was mush, but Rafe wanted an answer. He slapped my check “Answer me.” He demanded causing me to clench around them both, making them groan out.
“Ye- Yes, daddy. I’m just a gree- greedy slut for my – my daddies,” I stammer out breathlessly.
“Yeah, princess, you are, but you’re taking us so well. You’re our good girl,” JJ praises in my ear, causing a rush of arousal to leak out my pussy.
They were both slamming into me, I was being pushed back and forth like a rag doll from the force of their thrusts. I felt the band in stomach stretch to its limit as the sides of my vision began to turn black. Rafe had a hold of both hips, while JJ still has my hands behind my back and his hand around my neck, making my head lean back to touch his chest. My back was arched, pushing my breasts out.
“I’m gonna cu- cum,” I mumble out. Rafe slaps my thigh.
“You don’t cum till we tell you to, babygirl,” he grunts out. I whimper out, knowing I wasn’t going to last much longer, no matter what he demanded. He began to run circles on my clit, causing me to cry out. I couldn’t hold his wrist to try and slow him down, JJ having my arms locked behind me, causing me to squirm. I felt my walls flutter around Rafe, and he slaps my thigh again, making me shudder.
“Daddy didn’t say you could cum yet, princess” JJ pants in my ear as he speeds up again, tears running down my cheeks as I tried to keep my release at bay. JJ licks the tears off my cheeks. “Mmmm she’s crying, Rafe, think we should finish her off,” JJ rasps out.
Rafe pushes his hand against my stomach, pressing against himself inside me. I let out a choked gasp, squeezing my eyes, more tears falling.
“C’mon baby cum for us,” before he can finish the sentence, I feel the band break and I scream out as waves of pleasure rip through me. My vision goes black, I see stars, my ears are ringing, whole body convulsing, as I squirt all over the boys. I barely register multiple “fuck” being said around me as I was lost in my own euphoria. I felt Rafe squeeze my hips as he shoots his seed into my walls, a few seconds later, JJ slams into me holding it while he groans in my ear. They continue to slowly pump in and out of me, helping me ride out my high.
JJ gently pulls out first, causing me to whine, as he lays down beside us. Rafe holds and kisses my face, for a minute. “You did so good baby” he whispers, continuing to kiss my face. He pulls me off him, like I am a rag doll, and places me between him and JJ. I lay there limply as both boys whisper praises and leave kisses on me.
“I think princess has earned a bubble bath as she originally wanted” JJ says, smiling down at me. I grin into his shoulder, making him chuckle.
“Mmmm, ok” Rafe sighs as he kisses my neck, “JJ why don’t you get out girl in the bath, while I change the sheets.” He commands, “Oh and JJ?”
“Hmmm” JJ says as he looks up at Rafe.
“You ever throw a bra at my head again, I will punch you.” Rafe threatens.
“Yes, sir” JJ salute to Rafe.
I burst out laughing.
Tagging a few moots
@princessmaybank @echo-at-the-pond @drudyslut @drewstarkeyslut @rubiehart @rafescokewhore @rafesc0kewh0re @haven247 @kraekat29 @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @blueicequeen19 @rafescurtainbangz @lovesickbrat @babygorewhore @moremaybank
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ennabear · 3 months ago
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SACRIFICIAL ANGEL
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ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ good evening sevika nation, continuation of this because y’all are enablers who are bad for my screen time… just kidding aaaah i love you horny freaks and i don’t know what i’d do without you <33
cw: bottom dom!sevika x pervert!loser!reader, a tiny bit of voyeurism (if it even counts as that), reader bartends at the brothel, sevika is suchhhhh a flirt, found family trope????, strap usage, bondage, tribbing, etc etc etc. i really am all over the place with this one 🤦 hope u enjoy anyways
word count: 6.8k
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you’d been bartending at babette’s for about 3 months when you first saw her. cracking her knuckles as she sauntered in with a wolfish grin, her long torso and even longer legs making her easily tower over the girls she came to see. never once had you felt jealousy toward them. in fact, you thought they had a harder job than you did— dealing with drunk old men who practically abused them and then left without sparing a tip wasn’t a job for just anyone. but now? you’ve never wanted to be one of them more.
it’s not that you’re not pretty, but you’re just so different from babette’s girls. you’re bigger and taller than them, trading in the slim curves of their bodies for thick muscle that coats your thighs and biceps. and you act differently, too. you’re not as sweet as them, and it honestly baffles you that they can always manage to treat their rudest customers with the utmost respect.
sevika comes in a few times a week, such an admirable woman to be in a place like this. she’s always sporting a scowl or a smirk, depending on her attitude for the day, and a fresh new scar or coating of blood on her knuckles. but there’s something you know about her that hardly anyone else does.
sevika doesn’t come to the brothel to fuck, she comes to get fucked. it’s almost impossible to miss, but nearly every night you watch her stroll in with her perfect posture, and then watch her stumble out of the doorway, practically tripping over her feet as she tries to zip up her pants and button up her shirt before anyone can see her half-naked body. hickies and bright red lipstick smudges paint her neck, and she’s still panting as her unsteady legs wobble themselves out of the door and down the street.
the first time you saw her this way, you had to take a breather behind the bar before you got so dizzy you returned home, faking an illness. she turns you on so much it’s hard to believe. and oh, how you’d kill to see what happens behind those closed doors.
to see sevika, all six feet of her warm brown skin and tight muscles on display, legs spread as wide as they can as her sopping cunt sucks in one girls strap, while another shoves a gag in her mouth, taking her hands and tying them together with a scrap of rope. how she’d completely submit to these angels, letting them use her however they please until her vocal cords give out and she’s laying in a pool of her own cum. and how she’d cover herself in that “scary lady” facade again as she leaves, thinking that what happens in that room stays in the room, although you know her secret. and you see it every night, whether it’s real or just another one of your perverted daydreams.
and so she walks in tonight like clockwork. the building is practically empty considering the time, one of the only benefits of working this late is to see her. she never looks your way, though, and why should she? she practically gets fed free drinks from her friends at the last drop, and it’s borderline disgraceful for her to have eyes for a woman like you when she has these gorgeous dolls promising to take good care of her.
they whisk her away in an instant. you’ve gotten to know these girls pretty well, they’re all sweethearts who crowd around your bar at the end of their shift. crystal, the shortest one, is so good with her words it’s baffling. she can smooth talk anyone into anything, and her friendly flirting never fails to make you giggle. monica, the oldest one, is so witty it almost makes you jealous. your jokes are nothing compared to her quick remarks, and she could easily take you in a fight if you didn’t have a few extra inches on her. ivy, the fairy, as you all call her, is the sweetest little nymph you’ve ever met. she often shares her extra tips with you when times get tough, and she’s always quick to offer you a helping hand behind the bar when you get swarmed.
it’s not a real family, but it’s the closest you’ve ever had. they look out for you and you do the same for them, quick to drag away any of the old men who harass them and scare them away with the sharp edges of your knuckles.
you watch as monica tugs at sevika’s choker like it’s a collar, dragging her away as the other two girls practically dangle off of her muscular arms. it must be a form of torture, watching them disappear behind those doors again. but you sigh and flip over the record that’s slowed to a stop on the turntable, hoping the sweet, melodic jazz will numb your brain long enough to survive the final hours of your shift. you sweep the floors, rinse out the glasses, and wipe down the bar.
without anything else to do, you sit and stare at the big stained glass window in front of you. your mind easily wanders, imagining your warm bed at home, the leftovers you’re gonna devour later, and sevika, as always. if only all of your money could purchase her attention, but even then attention doesn’t always equate to fondness.
your boredom gets to the best of you, and you wander out from behind the bar, peering down the long hallway. in hopes of what? nobody else is in here besides you, sevika, and the girls— not even babette. there’s really no point, but you carry on walking nevertheless. the empty rooms are somewhat eerie, they’re usually so full of love and lust, but now restored to their pristine condition.
you pause in front of the only occupied room of the night, standing just a few yards away from the door. it’s almost silent, but a light giggle breaks the silence, and you almost keel over and sob right there. red-hot jealousy floods your veins, and your whole body trembles as you try your hardest not to let a peep sneak past your lips.
the girls don’t hear you, to your luck, too busy smooshing their brightly colored lips over sevika’s to see which color suits her the most, while she trembles and blushes with a vibrator between her legs. you practically run to the end of the hall to escape the noise, sitting against the wall and twiddling your thumbs in an attempt not to cry.
so that’s why you wanted to take a stroll down the hall so badly. you fucking perv, you think to yourself. lucky you didn’t get your ass caught, get a damn grip!
bolting upright, you decide to return to the bar. babette want’s a new recipe anyways, might as well do it right now, and if you mess up a few times it’ll be an excuse to get plastered on the clock. with your head in your hands, you begin your trek back to the lobby. what an evil, evil curse comparison is.
then the curtains fly open a few feet in front of you, and you almost audibly gasp at the distraction before you stifle it with the back of your hand. sevika gets playfully pushed out of the room, her tits on full display as she fumbles with the buttons on her shirt. you swear you black out for a second, or maybe even a full few minutes, who’s counting?
she giggles to herself and sighs as she gets a few buttons closed, her weakened legs wobbling under her weight as she carries herself down the rest of the long hallway and out of the door. you follow behind her slowly and silently, careful not to go to fast or make even the slightest noise.
she doesn’t see you as she slips out of the door, mind too hazy to think about anything other than the pure pleasure pumping through her veins. as soon as the coast is clear, you dash back behind the jar, pouring a few mixers in a glass and swirling them around in an attempt to make it seem like you were doing anything.
monica, ivy, and crystal trail out of the room after a few minutes of catching their breath. the fairy takes a seat in front of you, smiling and giggling as monica wipes some dark brown lipstick off of crystal’s neck.
“that woman is crazy,” she laughs. “what’re you making?”
“i dunno, just something new.”
“good! we need something sweeter on the menu.”
“you’re only saying that because you’re sweet and you like other sweet things.” you tease.
“of course, that’s why i like you so much. and besides, all of the drinks here are catered toward old, cranky men.”
“yeah, because that’s who all of your customers are.” you say, rolling your eyes.
“not all of them,” crystal cuts in. “and certainly not her.”
“did she tip you well?” you wonder.
“oh, fuck yeah, she always does.”
“i think she’s the richest woman in the whole city.”
“damn,” you smirk, not wanting your jealousy to peek out through your face.
“it’s okay, we’ll buy you something special.” monica winks. you roll your eyes, although completely embracing the way they spoil you.
as soon as the girls are out of the door, you finish locking up before heading out too. you’re so full of emotions, you have no idea which one to prioritize. should you cry into your pillow as soon as you fall asleep, jealous and angry that you’ll never get to have sevika in the way you want? or should you celebrate the fact that you almost saw her completely shirtless, and replay that image in your mind until sleep takes you?
you settle for both. crying into your pillow as you shove one of your hands down your pants. the release is satisfying, but only for a quick second before you’re wishing it were her, or anyone really. the water temperature in your apartment building is awfully cold, and you shiver as you scrub yourself down. your nipples pucker and harden as you run your hands over your body, imagining sevika touching you instead.
any attempt at sleeping is useless, your mind races with different possible scenarios. you might be upset that she’s not in love with you now, but what if she caught you staring at her while she was still dressing herself, or even worse, lingering outside of that room and listening to them get her off? at least she doesn’t hate you, right?
to your luck, the phone rings, a free excuse to be awake at this time of night. you rise and walk to the other side of the room, yanking the phone off of the wall as the cord curls and hangs down.
you yawn. “hello?”
“i can’t come in today,” ivy’s voice crackles through the speaker. “i’m coming down with something, and i think monica is too. maybe i got it from her or, or gave it to—?”
“it’s okay, sweetheart.” you assure her. “get some rest, do you need me to come over?”
“no, crystal said she’d come take care of me. but thank you.”
“okay, call me if you need anything. i love you.”
“i love you too,” she yawns, her voice sounds thick and congested. “and tell my regulars i love them, you could always cover for me if you want.”
“oh, fuck off.” you laugh. “i’m not gonna cover your shift as a prostitute, but get well soon.”
“okay, thank you, sorry if i woke you up.”
“it’s okay, i wasn’t sleeping anyways. i’ll check in soon, okay?”
“okay, bye, goodnight.” she sighs, and you slot the phone back against the wall.
and so the day passes agonizingly slow without any support. it’s a friday, so as soon as it hits 3pm, people flood in to get a good start to their weekend. there are a few girls who you’re friendly with, but you don’t get to know them very well since they’re always leaving at the beginning of your shift. babette comes in, though, and she sits and chats with you to keep you company.
she’s such a sweet soul, and she’s so wise it makes you want to take notes on everything she says. she tells you crazy stories, laughs, cries, and gives you advice before returning to her office for the night. so you’re left alone, eyeballing various flavors and liquors into you glass in attempt to make a cocktail that’s sweet enough for your little fairy.
after about an hour of this, you give up and rinse your glass out with water. none of their regular customers come in tonight, which is strange because usually fridays are their busiest nights. sevika comes in though, she must not have gotten the memo, but you’re not about to complain.
“your favorites aren’t in tonight,” you warn her just as she steps in. “one of ‘em caught the flu and spread it to the rest.”
“shit,” she huffs, “d’you think i could have a shot with the hot bartender?”
you scoff at this, cheeks heating up involuntarily. “i’m not a hot bartender, just a regular bartender. and i don’t offer any… services, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“agree to disagree.” she winks, planting herself at the stool right in front of you. “and no worries, i’ll take a whiskey.”
an eerie silence fills the room, the same one that always lingers in the brothel. you’re practically dying to say something, but you don’t know what to say other than something stupid and embarrassing.
sevika breaks the silence, though, saying “they talk about you a lot, you know.”
“do they?” you pretend to be shocked, but they’re your family, your sisters. of course you talk about each other, who else do you have to be proud of in a world like this?
“yeah. apparently you’re scary as hell but you can crack some mean jokes.”
“sometimes,” you admit with a shy smile. “although it’s mostly just when i’m half asleep at the very end of my shift that i let that side of me come out.”
“will i be lucky enough to see it?”
“maybe if you hang around long enough.”
“you could keep me waiting ‘til the end of time and i’d still be here.” she says, almost too nonchalantly.
you roll your eyes and slide her her whiskey, propping yourself up on your elbows as you study her up close for the first time ever. her mechanical arm is extremely detailed, each nut and bolt have a different important job that can’t function without the others. like you and your sisters.
“although, i have to admit,” she finally says. “i don’t see how you can be scary.”
“you haven’t seen me dragging old perverts out of here by the hem of their t-shirts, that’s why.”
“does it happen a lot?” she asks.
“hell no, you think i let those fuckers live to see another day? to come back in here?” you laugh. “absolutely not.”
“so there’s the humor.” she notices.
“yeah,” you smile. “except i wasn’t joking. and i bet you’d do the same if you’ve ever encountered them.”
“oh, trust me, i have.” she recalls with a grunt. “dumbfucks littering the streets yet topside is concerned about us.”
you hum in response. “it’s really not fair… can i ask you a question?”
“fire away.”
“why do you come in here?” you start. “i mean— no shame, i work here, but you couldn’t have found a better brothel?”
“i dunno, i don’t really care for the better ones. plus, i’ve known babette forever, literally. she’s been around for so long, i enjoy supporting her and her workers.”
“yeah, that checks out.” you sigh, babette really is a sweetheart, she might be the only good thing left about the undercity. “but isn’t it hard not to fall in love with them? how do you do it?”
she pauses for a moment, calculating her answer in her mind first. “i love them and everything they do for me, but i’m not really, into them like that.”
“oh, i’m sorry for assumi—”
“no, i do like girls,” she assures you. “just not them. i like my ladies with a little bit more meat on their bones.” she says with a wolfish grin, eyeing your body up and down.
“oh, you stop it!!” you grin back at her, a warm, tingly feeling flushing over your body.
“i didn’t call you a hot bartender for nothing, but i don’t date for looks, anyways. actually, i don’t really date in general, but maybe i just haven’t found the one.” she says, putting a suggestive emphasis on the one. she slides her empty glass toward you and rises from her stool. you’re sad to see her go so early, especially when she just started flirting with you, but oh well. you can’t force her to stay.
“i better head out, silco’s got me going up to topside tomorrow morning for god knows what. thanks for the chat.” she announces, sliding a few coins your way.
“good luck with that.” you smile. “and if you ever need a drink, you know where to find me.”
she chuckles at you as she shoves the door open, and you see something in her smile that you’ve never seen before. a small gap in between her two front teeth, the cutest little addition to her scary, stoical face. as soon as she’s out of the door, you sit on the ground behind the bar and hold your head in your hands again. jesus christ, was that the love of your life flirting with you? if only she knew how much you liked her.
the idea of calling the girls and telling them what just happened tempts you, but they don’t know that you’re head over heels for her. and what if they are? what if one, or even all three of them see her as more than a customer? you don’t wanna make things weird, so you stand up and head to babette’s office to bid her farewell for the night.
her office is small and dimly lit, but cozy. she smiles at you warmly as you step inside, quickly thanking you for your time earlier, and wishing you a good night. all of your dread seems to float away from your body as you walk home, the bitter frost of the night doesn’t sting your fingertips, but instead the butterflies in your stomach warm them.
if you thought your sleep last night wasn’t restful, tonight is so much worse. not that you mind, though, because the thing keeping you up is sevika’s deep voice repeating things like i didn’t call you a hot bartender for nothing. and you could keep me waiting til the end of time. you can’t help but giggle into your pillow like a lovesick fool, and when the time rolls around again, you can’t wait to go to work. which is something you never thought you’d feel.
you spend your trek to work enjoying the afternoon sun and the birds that chirp into the atmosphere. the girls are all feeling better today— which is a little strange considering it’s only been 24 hours of them being sick— but you don’t question the kinds of drugs they take. they love their job and you love them, so why complain?
a few stragglers hang around your bar as the afternoon turns to evening, and you get a few extra coins from a couple who tips very generously. but your eyes are fixated on the clock, counting down the hours until evening turns to late night, when you get to see sevika. you wish you could ask about her, get to know her more, but who would you ask? you don’t know if she has friends, although she works for silco and practically babysits jinx, but there’s no way in hell you’d ask them, in the rare case you ever come across them.
so you have to settle for her seeking you out behind the bar, which you pray time and time again will happen again. and it does, somewhat, because when she walks in the door tonight, she nods at you with a flick of her head and winks.
sevika winks at you.
the marble countertop of the bar catches you as you almost fall forward. god, i want her to do that again, you think. you sit up on your stool, squeezing your thighs together and widening your eyes in an attempt to be able to see straight. your sisters snatch her away again, but fuck, she looked at you.
for the first time since she started coming in, you don’t feel jealous. you feel hopeful. sevika knows you now, and she likes you, even if she’s not obsessed with you in the same way you are with her. the back of your hand muffles your smile, you can’t wait until her 60 minutes are up and you get to see her again, and you really hope she winks at you again. or does something even better, like blows you a kiss, or gets down on one knee with a ring, or recites you a personal love poem.
but the gods are on your side tonight, because the four of them saunter out of their suite about half an hour early and come to surround your bar. they all have this awkward expression on their faces, one that says they’re guilty and they need your help keeping a secret. you push it aside though, because they probably just think it’s weird that you’re seeing them in such a vulnerable state. you don’t think it’s weird though. you work at a brothel, for fucks sake, and you’ve seen some pretty crazy things, and it’s not like you’re a virgin, although you admittedly don’t have much experience.
“glad to see you all are feeling better,” you greet. “and sevika, welcome back.”
she smiles, her mech arm rattling slightly. the girls all exchange a look at each other, “yeah, thanks.” crystal says, reaching up on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around your neck in a hug. monica nudges ivy as she giggles, and sevika grins into her lap, human fingers fiddling with her metal fingers.
“oh fuck, don’t tell me you guys are in trouble again.”
“no, nothing like that.” crystal assures you.
“then what’s with the looks? you guys all look guilty as hell.”
“we’re just glad to see you again, that’s all.” monica smiles, one of her perfect, dark curls falling into her face gracefully.
you cringe, painfully aware that none of their stories are adding up. “so… can i get you anything?” you ask.
“well, uh—”
“not for us—”
“maybe lat—” they all say simultaneously. sevika is silent, giggling as quietly as she can into her lap, and completely avoiding eye contact with you. she looks up and raises her eyebrows at them, a silent signal for them to… do something.
“i think we’re gonna go now, but you two have fun!” crystal says, and they all run back down the hallway, giggling and tripping over one another in their heels as they do.
“what on earth is up with them?” you ask sevika.
“it’s nothing,” she says with a laugh. “or… maybe it’s something? i’m not too sure either.”
you slide her a glass of whiskey, just like you had last night. “this one’s on the house.”
“will you at least let me tip you?”
“well, i’m not saying no.” you grin, and she smiles at you again, and you hope that image of her is burned into your memory forever. she’s beautiful, it’s not hard to recognize that, but it’s a different feeling when you get to admire her up close. like a painting, you see images and replicas of them everywhere, but seeing them with your own eyes is always breathtaking. you can see every brushstroke, every small detail you hadn’t before, and it really comes to life.
“how long have you worked here?” she asks, derailing your train of thought.
“only a few months, but i’ve been bartending for longer.”
“you do an amazing job.” she compliments, flashing one of those grins at you again.
“oh please, you practically live at the last drop, and i poured that whiskey straight out of the bottle.”
she shrugs and rolls her eyes, “shut up and take the compliment.”
you have no choice but to giggle, and if sevika wants you to shut up, you shut up.
“i meant what i said last night— about you being a hot bartender, even though you didn’t seem to believe me.”
“why should i believe you? i wasn’t aware that you knew i existed until last night.” you retort.
“wish it were the same way for me, all i’ve been hearing about is you for months.”
“not my fault you like them so much.”
“i do, but i like you too.”
“i still don’t offer any services, if that’s what you’re getting at.” you say, letting her down easy, although you’d gladly offer her your services, you just wanna play with her for a while.
“of course not.” she smiles. “not unless you change your mind.”
you almost choke on your own spit. your heart pounds in your chest, and you’re 100% sure she can hear it right now. you giggle and hide your face in your hands, trying to keep your mouth shut for a few seconds before you leap over the bar and jump her bones.
“is that what they put you up to? to come sit here and flirt with me?”
“well, i’m not saying no, either. but i’m being genuine.”
you giggle again and punch her flesh shoulder over the counter, praying it’s not painfully aware how strongly you’re blushing right now. “no way you’re sitting here telling me about how badly you wanna get in my pants, when you just kicked out your own prostitutes.”
she shrugs, the scars on the side of her face slightly scrunching up as she smiles. “i can’t help it,” she laughs. “you charm me too much.”
“sevika!” you almost shout, completely baffled and astounded at her flirting. your mouth hangs open as you think of what else you can say, but nothing comes to mind.
“it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, but i think you should at least know the effect you have on other people.”
you lean forward on the counter, holding your warm cheeks in your hands. “you should know the effect that you have on people.”
“i do, i’m very aware of it. especially from you.” she taunts leaning forward until your eyes are only inches away from hers. you peek up at her and almost faint, again, because her eyes are such a pretty, soft silver. and her lips are so pretty too, angular and smothered in a rich, deep brown lipstick. she notices you staring at her lips and smirks down at you. “can i kiss you?” she asks.
“i— wha—? yes. please.” you say, desperation and lust lingering in your voice. and her lips are on yours before you can even register it. suddenly all of the thoughts running through your mind, and there are a lot of them, cease to exist. because her lips are on yours, finally, and they’re so soft. she tastes spicy, almost, like tobacco and whiskey, but there’s a hint of something sweet, like honey or cinnamon.
she pulls away first, although you wish the two of you could be conjoined at the lips for the rest of time. “i wanna do that again.” you manage to choke out.
sevika chuckles at you, “not right now. not when you look like you’re about to faint, or die, even.”
“i’m sorry.” you whisper, holding your head in your hands.
“for what?” she asks, a twinge of concern in her voice.
“for making a fool of myself.” you laugh, hands covering your eyes as you refuse to look at her again, because maybe you will die.
“i can’t disagree with that,” she teases, and you can hear the smile in her voice. “but it’s no big deal.”
“sevika. get the fuck out of my bar before you kill me.” you threaten.
“alright.” she obliges, “but i’ll be seeing you tomorrow, whether you like it or not.”
“get! out!” you whisper shout, lifting your head up to meet her gaze for the last time tonight.
“leaving right now.” she laughs, turning on her heel to exit the building before you faint in her arms.
it takes you a few minutes to reorient yourself, but you take a few deep breaths and small sips of water before the girls come clambering out of their room again. you’re dreading the conversation that’s about to come, especially because you’re not sure if they’re up to something or not.
“sooooo…” ivy prompts. “how’d it go?”
“nothing happened. nothing important, at least.” you answer with a groan, starting to tidy up the lobby before you leave for the night.
“really?” monica frowns. “is that why you’re wearing some new lipstick?”
you sigh and roll your eyes, there’s no getting out of this tonight. “just tell us, please! we wanna know!” ivy begs.
“yeah, we won’t make fun of you too much.” crystal adds.
“okay, yeah, she flirted with me until i got dizzy, and then she kissed me to make it even worse.” you admit. “but i know you fuckers had something to do with it.”
“well, yeah. we had to give her the confidence to do so. she’s had a crush on your for like… forever.” monica grins.
“you guys are liars!” you laugh, exasperated. “stop fucking around with me, please.”
“we’re not fucking around with you, we’re being honest. and you should go home before you start freaking out.”
“i can’t go home yet, i need to finish closing.”
“we’ll do it, get the hell out of here!”
and how could you say no to that? so you leave, and you smile the whole way home as you replay that moment in your head. it was just like you imagined, minus all the parts where you embarrassed yourself. but it doesn’t even matter, the love of your life kissed you. on the lips. even better than her winking at you. better than you could’ve foreseen.
for once, you sleep soundly, your mind is at a perfect balance to do so. giddy enough to not be overcome with anxiety, but embarrassed enough to have some sort of weight in your gut, not letting the butterflies carry you away. you’re in such a deep sleep, that you’re not amused when the phone rings again. peeling the comforter off of you, you rise and yank the phone off of the wall, getting deja vu from only a few nights ago.
“hello?” you ask with a little bit of sass in your voice.
“we can’t come in again, we’re sick… again.” crystal says.
“all of you? but you were fine yesterday.”
“well, it got worse or something, i dunno, but you’re on your own today.”
you sigh, already dreading the fact that your shift is gonna drag on without them. oh well, at least sevika promised she’d be there. “okay…” you bark. “get well soon, call me if you need anything.”
“yeah, bye, good luck!” she almost squeals.
you trudge back to bed, willing yourself to get a few more hours of sleep, although it’s nearly noon and you should get up soon. you ignore the clock, shoving your face in your pillow in an attempt to block the sunlight out from your eyes. but now you can’t sleep, you’re thinking about how you and sevika are gonna be alone together again, but this time you’ll have to face yesterdays events.
when your alarm rings, you groan, and then take a second to scream into your pillow, praying your apartment neighbors don’t worry too much. you dress in your usual work uniform, black shirt, cargos, non-slip shoes. sevika must see something really special in me, you think, because there’s no way she’s choosing me over everyone else in this town.
for breakfast, you guzzle down half of a protein shake followed by two anxiety pills, and then you brush your teeth for an extra few minutes today, just in case. and maybe you accidentally sprayed more perfume than you usually do, but nobody needs to know that. you shove your shoes on, mentally preparing yourself for what could be one of the worst days of your life.
strangely, suspiciously, yet to your luck, none of ivy, crystal, or monica’s regulars come in to visit them. you start to suspect they did it on purpose, although it seems impossible. but if they did, those girls are crazy and you don’t deserve them. in fact, the brothel is empty nearly the whole day. as soon as the other girls clock out, nobody comes in at all. not until sevika shows up when she usually does, and she’s the first drink you pour all day.
“i missed you,” she sighs, heading straight for her usual barstool.
“i… missed you too. did they tell you they weren’t gonna be here tonight?” you ask.
“uhh— yeah, they did. but i wanted to spend my evening with you, anyways.”
“oh, well i’m flattered. but i didn’t know you kept in touch with them like that.”
“well…” she starts, looking to the side in an attempt to conjure up something to say. “never mind.”
you slide her a usual glass of whiskey, and she thanks you. “i never got to tip you last night.” she frowns.
“yeah, sorry, i kinda freaked out on you.”
“it’s okay, i’m sorry if i’m weirding you out or if we’re moving too fast or anything, but i did mean it. i meant what i said and i meant to kiss you, i wasn’t drunk or anything.”
“i meant it too, although i wouldn’t have overreacted if i could’ve helped it.” you giggle, suddenly completely aware of the fact that you’re flirting with her again. right now. and she kissed you. and now you have something together.
“i was thinking i could tip you tonight.” she smirks, eyeing you up and down again.
“oh, please. you know you get free drinks from now on.” you say, rolling your eyes at her kindness.
“i’m honored, although i was thinking about a different way to repay you.” she says, licking her lips as she slowly starts to walk toward you.
you’re frozen in place, your knees tremble as you realize what she means. her nose brushes yours as she finishes approaching you, and you can’t help but lurch forward to connect your lips to hers. she kisses you back with all of her might, and you almost slip and fall as she slides her tongue into your mouth. she tastes even better now. stronger and deeper and sweeter, and you start to crave it as soon as you taste it.
it isn’t long before you have her pinned against the countertop, shoving your tongue down her throat as she whimpers into your mouth. a loud crash echoes through the room, and you shiver as soon as you feel the whiskey splattering against your pants. “fuck,” you grunt. she whines when you pull away to assess the damage, but the glass isn’t shattered too much, and there’s only a small puddle under your feet.
“mmmh…” she whines when your mouths meet again. “let’s take this somewhere— mph!! somewhere else.”
and that’s how you find yourself stripping her naked with your teeth, the two of you sprawled out on a heart shaped bed. her shirts are always short and extremely revealing, but you still gasp and twitch when her abs are finally revealed to you. her v-line is thick and deep and it leads a perfect trail to her dripping hole, as if her thick, dark happy trail wasn’t enough.
“the rope.” she chokes out, and you don’t waste a single second, tying her hands together and then above her.
with her arms bound, you have more freedom to undress her without her squirming and getting in your way. as soon as her pants are off, you notice a dark, wet patch in the center of her boxers. “like what you see?” she teases. you gulp and nod, suddenly unable to form any words. “get the strap.” she demands. and who are you to say no to her?
you manage to buckle it up before everything really catches up to you. she’s smirking below you, watching as you pathetically ogle her thick shoulders, puffy, brown nipples, taut abs, and quivering, wet hole. “so? are you ready?” she prompts. as soon as she says the word, you can’t control yourself. you slide into her incredibly easily, slick dripping down her ass and making a puddle underneath her already.
your hips snap into hers, it’s messy and uncoordinated and you don’t really know what you’re doing, but sevika loves it. she’s on cloud nine, writhing and whimpering and squeezing her eyes shut as you pound into her. “mmm, sevika, is it good? am i doing good?” you ask.
“so good.” she assures you, panting. “so fucking good, gonna make me cum and we’ve just started.”
“fuck!” you gasp, and you’re squirming on top of her as your own orgasm hits you like a train. it came out of nowhere, but it’s the most intense one you’ve probably ever had. as if all of those times you’ve desperately rubbed your aching clit to the thought of her were for nothing.
“keep going.” she whines. “please, you’re doing s-so good for me, i’m so fucking close.”
something comes over you. something rough and dirty and animalistic. you yank the strap off, hardly bothering to unbuckle it beforehand. she whines again, wishing she still had your cock plugging her up, but she can’t complain when you sit your cunt on top of hers, your shared mixture of slick making an unholy wet smacking sound. never in a million years did you expect sevika’d be such a sacrificial angel, a dirty slut with needs.
her hard clit twitches when it meets yours, and she moans so loud you’re sure it can be heard outside of the building. at least nobody else is here, inside, or you two would get busted. “how long have you wanted to do this?” she asks.
“f-for such a long time.” you admit. “i’ve been needing it so badly, sevika.”
“how… how badly? hmm?”
“you don’t even know.” you whimper. “i would listen to you in here whenever i needed it the most. and sometimes i’d watch you leave half undressed and wish it was me who did that to you.” you slide herself against her as deeply as you can, and you’re practically humping her like a dog at this point. the pair of you only get more soaked until sevika’s clenching her legs around yours, locking you in place as she cums so hard she can’t see straight.
as soon as she comes down from her orgasm, she says something quick and muffled like “ididitonpurpose” but you don’t quite hear it.
“i did it on purpose to fuck with you.” she sighs, repeating herself more clearly now. “i’ve had my eye on you for such a long time, i thought you’d eventually pick up on it and make a move, but you never did. so i started fucking with you instead.”
“what?” you ask, completely appalled. “are you kidding?”
“no, most of the nights i’ve spent here has been me and the girls plotting on how to fuck with you the hardest. notice how none of their other customers are here? and how they mysteriously recovered from their illness for a day until catching it again?”
“wait, so is this a prank?” you ask, brain fuzzy from having sex with sevika but also from finally piecing things together.
“well, not this.” she says, gesturing with her head to your mutually nude bodies tangled together. “but they helped me plan the evening, yes.”
“you… fucker!” you shout, a light giggle following after. “am i really that blind?”
“i guess so.” she shrugs. “now, are you gonna untie me so i can show you what my arm can do, or are you gonna sit there with your jaw open like that.”
you smack her shoulder playfully, ducking down and settling yourself on her lap for a final makeout session before you have to give up your top duties for the night. not like you care, though, because her arm can do some pretty cool tricks, and she tips you well nearly every night from now on.
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author’s note: tehe haiii i didn’t wanna add this at the beginning cause i always yap too much, so if you made it all this way THANK YOU FOR READING 🤭 i luv you guys so much and i love our little sevibear… apologies for teasing the hell out of this and taking forever to finish LMAOOO oops. anyways special shoutout to my 3 favorite mutuals (you know who you are) for giving me motivation to finish this, i love you guys the mostest mwah mwah mwah y’all are wayyyyy too nice to me and i appreciate you more than you know <333 comments and reblogs are very appreciated!!!! lmk what you thought!!!!!! thanksssss 🫶
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653 notes · View notes
starlightervarda · 1 year ago
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I can't sleep so Star Trek TOS/SNW dashboard simulator
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🪆 chekovsgunman Follow
to this day I can't understand why they're called the Three Musketeers if there's FOUR of them? Did Dumas just forget his own main character???
🪴 plantdad Follow
You've got to be kidding me
🪆 chekovsgunman Follow
I know right? A mistake like this would never happen in Russian literature!
5,324 notes
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🩺 therealmccoy Follow
After months of taking care of everyone else on this giant tin can I really earned this shore leave. Now I get to drink, relax, flirt with some lovely ladies and sleep until noon 😎 Just what the the doctor ordered!
🩺 therealmccoy Follow
Update: A fucking purple tree ate five crewmen. Again.
955 notes
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🖖 iamspock Follow
Despite being among humans for close to a decade, I still find their tendency to overcomplicate and avoid aspects of social situations to be confusing at best and infuriating at worst. So much time is wasted on tedious matters such as who gets to 'make the first move' or 'not come off too strong'.
For example, everyone aboard my vessel is keenly aware of Lt. Uhura and Engineer Scott's 'budding romance'. But their need to extend their oddly avoidant courtship ritual, rather than outright state their interest in one another, is pointless, as well as frustrating to witness.
Why do they do this? Why not 'get it over with', as they say?
I encourage answers from all cultures, human or otherwise.
💅 janicethemenace Follow
I'm sorry Scotty and Nyota are WHAT
💉 xtinechapel Follow
DELETE THIS
💖 ofmanytongues Follow
SPOCK NOOO HE DOESN'T THINK OF ME LIKE THAT 😭
🔧 scott-free Follow
But I do! I thought you knew and were just being nice about it!
💖 ofmanytongues Follow
DMing you rn 😳
🖖 iamspock Follow
You're welcome.
24,103 notes
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🌟 j_tiberius_k Follow
PSA: If you visit Antares VII, stay clear of any yellow plants, their pollen can have some...inconvenient effects on the biology of humanoid peoples.
My XO and I suffered through troubling symptoms until it was almost too late. Thankfully, we figured out a cure in time.
🪴 plantdad Follow
I can only find info on the symptoms. What was the cure? 👀
🌟 j_tiberius_k Follow
Do I really have to say it?
6,322 notes
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💊 mmmbenga Follow
The galaxy if Klingons didn't exist
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⚔️ glorytotheempire Follow
Wow. Humans are openly advocating for our disappearance yet Klingons are the bad guys? I thought your federation stood for peace.
💊 mmmbenga Follow
Cry harder you genocidal wrinkly-faced bitch I hope your planet gets sucked into a black hole
#If you think a joke is on par with what they do then book an MRI because you might have brain damage #fuck Klingons and anyone that sympathizes with them
35,007 notes
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😎 ortegaaaas Follow
So I can either skim through this asteroid belt on Warp 2 for 3 hrs or on Warp 5 for 15 mins
🚀 mitchiemitch Follow
Erica no! That's not how navigation works!
😎 ortegaaaas Follow
FLOOR IT???
🚀 mitchiemitch Follow
ERICA NO
😎 ortegaaaas Follow
HOW ABOUT WARP 7 FOR 15 SECONDS?
💖 ofmanytongues Follow
ERICA YOU'RE GOING TO CRASH THE SHIP
😎 ortegaaaas Follow
I AM GOING TO HARNESS LIGHT-SPEED TO ZIGZAG THROUGH THE VOID
🚀 mitchiemitch
ERICA P L E A S E
112,517 notes
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🐴 sirsilverfox Follow
I know some species are very private, but you'd think they'd share the important stuff, esp when we should trust each other by now.
How are we supposed to enjoy my weekly dinners if you all don't tell me what to watch out for :/ This is the third time this happens to the same person and I had to get the answer why from our CMO
💫 numerouna Follow
Wait what did I miss while I was gone
🐴 sirsilverfox Follow
Spock got wasted on my chocolate fudge cake and hit his head on the counter ://///
2,904 notes
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intotheelliwoods · 6 months ago
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Alright gang, heres Avocado Toast! :) The Steven Universe style fusion between Sprout and Poptart!
All assorted art and asks and posts related to them will be under the tag #freshavocado <- <-
Here is a bunch of notes, some have links to related art:
-First and foremost, the fusion is the literal embodiment of self love. It is going to be super hard to catch them without a smile!
-The initial fusion happened by complete accident! Poptart joined Sprout for the night for insomnia mixed with feeling cuddly reasons. In the morning they woke up fused haha!
-Sprout didnt tell anything to poptart about his fusion with Big Leo and that it was possible for them to do the same, it was after their initial first accidental fusion that he opened up more about the concept and his experience
-You can often find Toast hugging themselves and fidgeting with their hands! A related thing to note is that it takes the fusion a while to learn how to use two arms on the same side without bonking them into eachother, and also takes a while to learn how to not fall off balance with so much arm weight on one side without being on the other!
-Clothes are not part of the fusion, when they unfuse the result is either Poptart or Sprout in some VERY oversized clothes haha
-The fusion between Big Leo and Sprout is the same fusion! Same personality! But minus the 'Toast' part of the name, back then the fusion was just named Avocado!
-Related to what is above, there is a thought in the back of the fusions mind thinking that they would never get to exist again, up until Poptart showed up that is allowing them to exist once more, and they cannot thank Poptart enough for that
-The first time Big Leo and Sprout fused (Avocado) was different than Sprout and Poptarts (Toast) first time fused. With Avocado, they fused the same way Poptart and Sprout did (cuddles) but this never happened before, the fusion panicked instead. However the fusion was too strong and stable to unfuse. Big Leo and Sprout didnt know how to even unfuse after all! Anyways they spend the whole day fused and trying to hide themselves from the family while also figuring out how to move with the new body haha
-Toast is, hilariously enough obsessed with Sprout and Poptart and loves to see pictures and hear stories of them, some part of the fusion wishes it was possible for them to meet the Leos they are composed of
-Sometimes when Sprout is having a really bad chronic pain day, Poptart offers to fuse with him as a way to 'share the pain' since Toast has twice the amount of pain tolerance, and can handle the pain way better than Sprout can
-Similar to whats above, at some point both Sprout and Poptart become reliant on Toast to fight for them in physical battles. Sprout doesnt want to fight, it hurts, and he hurts even after the fight, but Toast can fight for him pain free. Poptart is tired of trying to learn a new fighting technique and is often upset he is not as strong as he used to be, but Toast is strong and knows how to fight.
-lmao they also become reliant on Toast to do chores
-What Sprout and Poptart remember doing fused depends on how emotional and stable the fusion was
-An amazing idea thanks to @dianagj-art that I am in love with is that Poptart/Sprout and Toast often pre record videos and write notes to eachother to say hello in the only way they really can. Toast loves to see and understand who they are composed of and whos love they represent. While Sprout and Poptart love to see who they can become
Crossover notes with @dianagj-art:
-The initial time they fuse and form Toast, Sprout is so happy he gets to feel what it is like again. He missed the feeling. The fusion is super fun and cheerful at first, but with time Poptart gets tired and wants to stop. While Sprout insists they keep staying together because he doesnt want to lose the feeling again. Due to this the fusion slowly becomes more and more loopy and unresponsive throughout the day and zones out frequently. Eventually Oneion asks whats wrong before realizing what is going on inside their head, and is the outside trigger to get Sprout to finally let go.
-Out of everyone else, Toast has the best chance of getting on One-Ones good side out of the excitement of another Leo fusion like them. Unfortunately in Toasts attempts to befriend One-One through some sparring, it does not go well....
-Toast is a perch for One and Oneion... do you understand.....
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mischievousmoony · 6 months ago
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hi i saw your request were open, and i really love you’re work and i was wondering if you could do something with james where the reader talks very quickly and quietly and often is told that she needs to speak up. and james always knows what she says and its kinda just fluffy? no worries if you don’t want to write!! have an amazing night/day
- 🪷
is this my first emoji anon? 🤭 thank u love, i had a lot of fun with this request
𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚞𝚙
⟢ james potter x reader ⊹ 1.9k ⟢ warnings/tags: not bully per say but other students are rude, fluff
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
"Miss. Y/L/N, have you found a group to work with?" Professor McGonagall asks as students around you huddle in groups of four whilst you stand alone at your desk, packing your things.
You mumble a response as you stuff your books into your bag, attempting to flee the scene as fast as possible. It wasn't anything to do with Professor McGonagall, but rather the fact that you always felt a little scrutinized when talking to anyone in a position of authority.
McGonagall squints as she tries to decipher your words. She finds herself having to make a guess.
"If not, I am more than happy to assist in finding–"
"She's with us, Professor!" James jogs over, returning from enlisting members for your group. As you straighten out your leafs of parchment, James starts packing away your ink and quill for you.
"And 'us' entails?" Professor McGonagall questions.
With a casual flick of his thumb over his shoulder, James gestures to a pair of Ravenclaws standing by the door.
"Very well," McGonagall hums in approval before walking off to ensure any other stragglers have found a group before they depart.
James would prefer to have Sirius and Remus as the other half of your group, but McGonagall has permanently banned James and Sirius from working together ever since they turned a simple demonstration into their own personal stand up comedy gig, resulting in some arguably intentional mishaps in their spellwork.
You've just latched your bag closed when James takes it from you and slings it over his shoulder without giving it much thought. He’s always absentmindedly doing you little favors, like it's his second nature.
"So, Cody has nothing better to do on a Friday night, why am I not surprised?" James says teasingly. "He’s insisting we hit the library and get a head start on the project. You free right now?"
"I'm free," you confirm, looking over James' shoulder at your group mates.
You hate group projects for a multitude of reasons. At least with most Ravenclaws— especially the two you're partnered with, Cody and Isla— you don't have to worry about them not carrying their weight.
This makes your main concern having to work with people you don't know that well. All you did know about them is that they're the kind of Ravenclaws that other Ravenclaws say give them a bad rap. They have a raging superiority complex, and you’d be surprised that James is okay to work with them if you didn't know him. That boy thinks he can make a friend out of anyone, save for some rivals he has in Slytherin.
So, you’re mostly surprised that they want to work with the two of you, but that probably has something to do with James being at the top of the class. Otherwise, they wouldn't normally branch out to students outside of their house.
You suddenly feel uneasy, realizing that for this project, you’ll be the student that the others are weary of not pulling their weight. You feel your hands get clammy over the potential judgement running through Cody and Isla's heads as James leads you over to them.
"Are we going or what?" Cody asks rather unmannerly.
James opens the door for everyone, "Lead the way."
You filter out into the hallway. Soon, the four of you fall in step with each other as James throws an arm around your shoulders.
"How long are we planning to spend on this today?" Isla asks.
"Well, if we dedicate the afternoon to it, we could get all of the research out of the way in one go." Cody responds.
James meets your eye with a sideways glance, and an entire conversation is shared through a couple facial expressions.
His lips curl into a knowing half-smile, See? No plans.
Your eyes twitch with amusement before they shift toward the pair. A microscopic scrunch of your nose conveys, I don't want to spend the whole day with these people.
His face contorts, Me neither, and he shakes his head, we can't anyway.
Your head tilts curiously.
"We have plans later," James verbalizes.
"We do?"
“Sirius got his record player repaired.” James smirks, “And I may have some butterbeer and a certain record waiting for us back at my dorm.”
Your eyes widen with excitement, “James, you didn’t!”
“Oh, but I did.” James says proudly.
“Sorry,” Cody interrupts, “you can’t work on the project tonight because you have to go listen to music?” Cody asks, and the rhetoric nature and judgmental tone are lost on you.
You dive into an explanation on how it’s not just any music, but your favorite band’s brand album. And not just that, but the limited edition record complete with bonus tracks not available anywhere else.
The record was wildly out of your budget and although record stores far and wide all received copies, they didn’t receive very many. You had accepted that you would likely never get your hands on a copy, but you hadn’t accounted for James’ readiness to move mountains at your whim.
You excitedly speak about your favorite band and everything you know about the new record, and it’s like you can’t get the words out fast enough. James listens intently, grinning widely and nodding along with your every word, interjecting occasionally with commentary of his own. You're too busy raving to notice the shared look between Cody and Isla.
"Is this supposed to be a private conversation or are we expected to understand you?" Isla sneers as the four of you reach the library doors.
James' grin falters as watches your excitement fade. You mumble out an apology, which James found completely unnecessary.
His tone flattens out from amused to deadpanned as he addresses Cody's earlier question, both to alleviate some attention from you and to deliberately ignore Isla, "We'll stay for an hour, maybe two. But after that, yeah, we're going to go listen to music with our friends."
Ever the gentleman, even when annoyed, he holds the library's door open for everyone. He eyes the back of Isla's head with offense as she passes, but his eyes soften when you walk through next.
The four of you quickly find a table, as not many are occupied to begin with.
James musters up a semblance of professionalism as he forces himself to stop glaring at Isla as she and Cody begin to discuss a plan for the project. Cody takes it upon himself to divide up areas of research without consulting the rest of the table.
"Hold on," James' brows furrow at his audacity, "What if I don't want to be in charge of researching the wand mechanics? And Y/N has an exceptional understanding of magical theory, she should be in charge of the magical formulas."
Cody and Isla's eyes fall on you and this time you don't miss their criticism.
"You have an exceptional understanding of magical theory?" Isla's face contorts into that familiar sneer.
James doesn't try to hide the way he rolls his eyes. He nudges you, "What was it you were saying earlier? The idea you had for the project?"
You gulp before you dive into an explanation. It feels like Cody and Isla were burning holes through you with their stares, so you try to distract yourself by gazing down at your hands as you them wring together.
In the middle of your explanation—
"Couldn't you at least look up so that I might have a chance at reading your lips?" Cody grumbles.
If looks could kill, James Potter would be a wanted man.
"S- sorry," you practically squeak. You do look up, but the glare on Cody's face intimidates you into mumbling even more. Even the most skilled lip reader wouldn't have a clue as to what you are saying.
"Merlin, could you just speak up?" Cody snaps his fingers in your face and your words die in your throat.
James suddenly wishes he had a beater's bat handy.
"Oi! Get your hand outta her face!" He raises his voice to levels that would surely attract Madam Pince's shushing any minute.
Cody retracts his hand but stands by his actions, "We'll hardly get anything done today if she can't even speak clearly. How do you expect me to deal with this?"
"Alright then, new plan," James says through gritted teeth. He stands abruptly, and his chair scrapes loudly across the floor as it shoved back by his sudden ascent. "The two of us will research the wand mechanics and magical formulas on our own, you two can have the rest. I'll let you know where we'll go from there next class."
James' hand finds yours in a grip that is surprisingly gentle considering the way he is currently conducting himself. He tugs on your hand, prompting you to rise from your own seat.
"You're just going to leave?" Isla asks.
At the same time, Cody protests the plan, "There's no way that I'm accepting that."
"Well, Cody, if you wanted to be in charge, then I guess you shouldn't have been such a cun–"
"James!" This time you're loud enough to speak over James' biting words.
"See you in class" are James' parting words to the very stunned Cody as he pulls you away from the scene.
Once in the hall, James can't help himself from raging over Cody's behavior.
"What a slimy git! Who does he think he is?"
You squeeze the hand that James still has wrapped around yours as he tugs you through the halls.
"James," you call gently.
"Don't know why I said yes to working with them. They basically cornered me, I'll have you know! I should've ran the other way when I saw them–"
"James," you try again, more firmly.
"Maybe if we talk to Minnie on Monday we can get our group switched. You don't suppose we can work with Sirius and Remus considering these extenuating circumstances?"
You dig your feet into the floor, "James!" you call out one last time, finally earning his attention.
James spins to face you, his hold on your hand not letting up.
"Yeah?"
"Calm down, would you?" You're voice comes out tinged with laughter.
James' troubles melt away at the sound of your laughter. His eyes search your face for any sign that it's false.
"You're not upset?" he asks, knowing you've been sensitive in the past to people's commentary on the way you talk.
"No, the look on Cody's face when we stormed away was healing enough."
This earned a laugh from James, "It was pretty satisfying."
James gives your hand another tug so that you fall into step with each other again. He only drops his hold on you to sling his arm over your shoulders.
"Dunno why people become such dunces around you." A playful smirk dances on James' lips, "Distracted by that pretty face, maybe, whereas I know how to multitask."
You shake your head at his antics, but your lips can't be stopped from curling into a grin.
"I can't deny the fact that you're the only one who seems to always hear me."
In the past, you've considered the possibility that James can always tell what you're saying because you feel more comfortable around him than anyone else, prompting you to speak more clearly. In actuality, James doesn't even need your words to know what you're thinking. He's known you for a long time, and he's spent every minute of it learning everything there is to know about you. By now, he might know you better than he knows himself.
"I guess I just might be the luckiest guy around, then, that I don't have to miss a second of your charm."
You sigh at his teasing and knock your shoulder into his, completely missing the genuine adoration in his eyes as he studies the way you smile at his words.
He can't wait to see how your smile looks when you find out that record he got you is signed.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
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vetitiscripta · 1 year ago
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some sfw and nsfw headcanons for tpof ren please🦊🙏🏻 instantly fell in love with your writing and craving the foxy dilf
oh anon you’re so sweet, i’m glad you like my writing! AND YOU MAY ABSOLUTELY HAVE DILF REN HEADCANONS I AM ON MY HANDS AND KNEES FOR THAT MAN I AM BARKING LIKE A DOG
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sfw
he lets you run your fingers over his scars, tracing them. if he’s feeling up to it, he’ll even tell you the story behind them
still a big anime fan so on his days off he likes to just relax with you and do anime marathons
since ren lives in different apartments, of course you go with him when he moves locations. he found an apartment by the bunker to stay in while you were recovering. traveling while you have multiple open wounds seems like a hassle so he figured it would just be easier to get a place nearby
YOU ARE SO SPOILED!! anything you want, its yours. you once mentioned how you miss all the games you had and you woke up the next morning to just about every new gaming console under the tv, already plugged in and games loaded on them. sometimes you have to be careful with what you offhandedly mention wanting because he will get it for you (he just likes seeing you happy, he lives for your smile)
once you are trusted with being outside (something that took quite a while for you to earn), he will absolutely take you out and about in town just to A) show you off and B) take you on shopping trips. he 100% has a black card. ANYTHING YOU WANT, YOU GET! that sweater is $1500? sure, get one in every color. you like the glass elephant that is made purely of crystal? it can be a decorative piece on the dining table
despite how spoiled you are, you are not free from being punished. you don’t get punished as much anymore, but at the beginning of your relationship, you defied him, hoping that you could get away (either running away or by death, you didn’t care at that point). ren has been through his fair share of punishments, he’s told you such; he knows how to leave a memorable punishment to help you understand. he’s also not above bringing out the shock collar in case the punishments aren’t enough
but after every punishment, he always cleans you up and cuddles with you, stroking your hair as you cry into his chest. depending on how far in the relationship it is, he can feel bad for punishing you but he knows that it’s to help you behave and understand
before you’re trusted to be left alone in the apartments, he’ll bring you with him to the bunker when he’s streaming. the first time you realized where you were, you almost threw up from the pure panic that spread through you. ren cupped your face and kissed you to help calm you down, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t find how absolutely terrified you were adorable. while he’s streaming you are left in the hands of rhino and kangaroo, who you have come to enjoy and consider friends (or at least as close to friends as you can get in your now abnormal life)
ren once considered getting you a pet to keep you company when you’re alone but he quickly discarded the idea due to how jealous he would be. you are his and your full attention should be on him. he might consider something super low maintenance like a goldfish (you would have to beg him for it though because he would still be jealous what a loser)
i personally think that ren would want a family. its not an intense urge he has, not something he thinks about 24/7, but he thinks about it every so often and how nice it would be (he’s also not getting any younger). ren is very fucked up (from both trauma and who he is as a person now) and it might not happen, but he still thinks about it, especially with you. its very cheesy of him to say, but he knows you’re the one. when he’s really going through it and feeling down, he wonders if what you have is real, if you truly love him or if it’s all for show to just survive (you always tell him that if it was just for show you wouldn’t be so willing to be around him and probably would have killed yourself early on babe your stockholm syndrome is showing)
nsfw (under the cut)
cliché but ren likes to bite during sex. he gets rather caught up in the moment and tasting you really gets him going
his heats can be pretty intense. his more clingy side comes out when he’s in heat and he will not leave you alone. from the moment you wake up until you fall asleep for the night (if you sleep during his heat), he has you in different positions and his dick is always inside you. even if you have to get up for something, he is following you, basically piggybacking you with how close he is
while you probably don’t appear in streams anymore, ren will occasionally film you two fucking. he teases you by telling you that you’re live and everyone is watching or that he’ll upload it for his fans later (a lie, you’re for his eyes only now but he does love how flush you get and how you beg him to turn the camera off)
this is already canon but ren loves seeing you in cute, frilly lingerie. there is nothing he loves more than to buy you an expensive lingerie set and have you show it off to him, only for him to rip it off of you within seconds. if he really likes the piece he’ll fuck you in the lingerie and will have you wear it again
phone sex while he’s away. every night he’ll call you just to listen to you get yourself off while he talks you through it. he’s fisting his cock during it as well, but he loves guiding you through it more. he has to make sure you don’t miss him too much. sometimes he’ll cut the call short and will wait for the spam of calls and texts from you as you beg him to call you again so you can cum. if you don’t get to call, he’ll demand you send pictures/videos. anything will do: shirtless pics, videos of you fingering yourself. he keeps everything you send him in a special folder on his phone that he turns to when he needs a quick dose of you
loves teasing you in public. fancy restaurant on the nice end of town? ren has his hand in your pants while the two of you talk over a split dessert (well, he’s talking. you’re trying to not moan out loud in the middle of the restaurant). is not afraid to drag you into an alley and push you to your knees, cock springing out as he tells you to open your mouth. he’s not worried about anyone seeing but if they do he’ll either throw a smirk their way if you’re hidden from their sight or, if you’re not hidden, he’ll remember what they look like and will seek them out later for a ‘friendly chat’ (you are for his eyes only)
BREEDING KINK!!! following my whole ‘ren wants a family’ thing, he def has a breeding kink. even if his intention isn’t to knock you up, he talks like it is. talks about cumming inside you and how good you would look all round and full of his pups. you moan at his words, too drunk on his cock to reply or think about what he’s saying. you’d ask him to cum inside you, begging him to fill you with his cum. he’s also definitely the type to push his cum back into you as it leaks out. (for my ladies: he’ll definitely put a pillow beneath your hips to help the chances if he’s feeling spicy)
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finelinevogue · 1 year ago
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lost n found
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summary - you are lost in italy the night before your wedding
pairing: fiancé!harry x reader
word count: ~2k
You were definitely lost.
Drunk and lost.
To: harry - im so sor:(y
From: harry - Baby, you’re fine❤️ Drop me your location and I’ll come find you. Please don’t move xx
To: harry - okaY.i love you xox
So currently you were sat on a stone wall, somewhere on a random side street in a small Italian village, waiting for your boyfriend to come and pick you up.
Harry had gone out with a few of his closest guy friends for drinks, for one last night as an unmarried man.
You and your girls had gone out for drinks too and you had mentioned to the boys that you would catch them up later.
At some point during the evening, though, you and the girls had all gone to the beach and you had gone to the toilet. It had been a trek to find one, only when you tried to find your way back you took so many drunken wrong turns that you couldn’t tell your legs from rights now.
Reading a map was useless, but sending Harry messages wasn’t.
You originally hadn’t wanted to send him any messages, not wanting to ruin his last night a “free” man but at some point you had become a little too lost to care.
Swinging your legs as you sat on the wall, you watched the birds fly overhead amongst the clear blue sky. You detailed all the cracks in the old buildings and counted twelve windows on one wall alone.
Your brain was fuzzy and your eyes kept on wanting to close from tiredness. You would be blaming a lot of your girl friends tomorrow for the continuous passing of shots your way.
Your phone rang in your hand.
“Yeah?” You answered, not even checking the caller ID.
“Baby? Love? Can y’hear me?” Harry asked.
“Yeah.”
“You’re not where y’said you’d be.” Harry sounded stressed.
“N-no I am. I sent you my location a-and I haven’t moved.”
You stood up and could feel yourself starting to panic. If Harry didn’t know where you were then there was no way of you knowing. Harry wasn’t ever a big enough drinker to get really drunk, unlike you.
You only ever got drunk when you felt you were in a safe environment, like tonight had been surrounded by all your closest girl friends. Or always with Harry.
Now that you didn’t have anyone and you were still drunk, you were getting anxiety of being alone and intoxicated.
Cue to shaky hands and tears.
“Are y’sure baby?”
“Y-yes. Fuck me. You’re not going to find me. Fuck. I don’t – shit – I.. I’m…”
“Hey, hey. Y/N, baby. Woah, slow down for me, okay? I am coming for you, okay? I just.. It was my mistake and I just need to relocate myself. You’re okay.”
Your phone was shaky in your hands and you started twisting your body around, as if expecting some random creepy guy to come around the corner and take advantage of you.
The twisting didn’t help your head, though, and was making you feel increasingly dizzy and sick.
“Y/N?” Harry asked urgently and you wondered whether you’d missed something he said.
“I-I’m scared.” You honestly said, backing yourself against a wall and trying to let the cool stone calm you down.
Your tears will no doubt have ruined your minimal makeup by now, not that that was a main priority of yours right now.
“Honey, you’re okay. I’ll be there soon, I promise.”
Harry sounded like he was running.
His voice sounded a little breathy and you could hear the fast movement of wind through the speakerphone.
“Y/N, love, turn on your data.” Harry said.
“I ran out.” You banged your head back against the wall, not even thinking about the pain that just caused.
You whimpered as you sank down onto the floor, knees tucked close to your chest and arm wrapped around your legs. Your phone was still to your ear, with Harry’s voice being the only sane thing in this moment.
“Okay, okay.” Harry muttered to himself rather than you. More running sounded from Harry’s end of the phone. “Baby, y’still there?”
“Mm.”
Your mind travelled to many worst case scenarios and due to how bad they were your panic only increased.
This was supposed to be your last nights as an unmarried couple and you couldn’t help but feel like you’d ruined that. He must’ve been having such a good night.
You’d seen a couple of photos on his private Instagram story and other people’s Instagram stories. Your fiancé looked divine. He just looked so perfect that it was difficult to believe that he had chosen you and you got to call him yours.
It did make you nearly cry that he was thinking of you, via Instagram, though.
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“You feeling okay, baby?” Harry asked.
“Don’t know. I’m so sorry, Harry.”
“It’s okay. I’m not angry or upset. Just want to make sure you’re okay, my love.”
“Okay.”
“So you have to be brave for me, okay?”
“Yes, okay.”
You got stuck for a moment, trying to think of possible ways you could calm yourself down and distract yourself. Luckily, Harry was already one step ahead.
“Hey, baby?” He grabbed your attention.
“Yeah.”
“We’re getting married tomorrow.”
You couldn’t help but let the smile take over your face. You weren’t scared at all for tomorrow. You had no nervous jitters. All you felt was love in your heart for your husband to be.
“We are.”
“And you’re going to look so beautiful.”
“So are you.”
“I can’t wait to see you in your wedding dress. I bet it looks so pretty.”
You sniffled, building back your strength and overcoming your anxiety. A lot of your strength came from the love you hold for Harry.
You heard a noise from your left and looked to see a cat rustling through some litter.
Your heart deflated when you realised it wasn’t Harry. You knew he was coming though. He was on his way and he would not stop running until he found you.
It was almost like a bad scene out of a romance movie.
The night before your wedding and something terrible goes wrong. It’s a sign!
“I think it’s just perfectly me.” You said, talking about your wedding dress.
“Sounds perfect to me then.” Harry paused for a moment. “Baby, did you walk under an archway, like, uh, a stone archway covered in pink flowers?”
“I-I don’t know. I don’t remember.” You ran a stressed hand over your forehead.
“Okay. That’s okay.”
“Everyone’s going to be so mad at me.” You began getting frustrated with yourself. “Fuck.” You breathed in a sob and exhaled with a bigger breath.
“Promise you no one’s mad, baby. Gem has messaged me a thousand times asking if you’re okay. I can’t even answer ‘cause this bloody maps apps is a fucking nuisance. I swear to–”
“Harry?” You furrowed your eyebrows, looking up from your knees to check your phone. He was still on the line. “Hello?”
“Y/N!” Harry shouted your name, but not from down the phone.
You could see Harry walking over to you very quickly, clearly panting from having run street after street.
“H.” You dropped your phone and cried as you saw him faster approach you.
Definitely a moment worthy of a romcom.
Harry was probably living his Ryan Gosling dreams.
“Baby, hey. I’m here. You’re okay.” Harry sank down to the floor and scooped his arms around you, pulling you close and squeezing oh so tight.
He sank down to his bum and leaned against the wall, pulling your entirely onto his lap. Too close wasn’t an option right now.
Your arms wrapped around his neck as you sat sideways on his lap. Your face was tucked under his chin and his head rested on top of yours. You cried as Harry held you tight.
You couldn’t see Harry’s facial expressions but he was breathing out sighs of relief, some tears in his own eyes from the adrenaline of trying to find you. He had been just as scared as you, but had to remain strong for you. Now he had you he could let it all out.
“You’re never going to the toilet alone again.” Harry laughed. You laughed back.
“Deal.”
“That was scary.” Harry kind of mumbled, but you heard him anyways. He kissed your head a few times and you melted at the feel.
“Harry.”
“Yeah, love?”
“My head is so dizzy.”
Harry used a hand to tilt your head up so he could see your face. He noticed your mascara ridden face first of all, but beneath that you were all beauty.
“Tequila is only our friend for two rounds, remember?” He laughed at you. He was able to tell from your eyes that you weren’t exceedingly drunk, but definitely tipsy.
“I did not remember.”
He nuzzled his nose against yours as he shook his head with a grin. “You’re such a handful, you.”
“M’sorry.” You pouted.
“Never said I didn’t love you as a handful.”
“Do you? Love me a handful?” You used a hand to stroke over his cheek that had gotten so scruffy with the stubble he was trying to grow.
“‘Course. Love you every way and anyway. Love you so much. Love you until my body literally decomposes my wedding ring off my finger, and then some more.”
“That was dark, even for a 2AM drunk thought.”
“It was, wasn’t it?” Harry chuckled, noticing that smile on your face becoming more and more permanent.
“But I’ll love you for the same.” You promised.
Harry kissed you then, not wasting another moment of this evening away from you. Well, morning now. His lips were soft against yours and you smiled into the kiss, happy that he was here with you even if it was under really weird circumstances.
“Let’s go, trouble. We’ll go back to the hotel and I’ll kiss you all night.”
“Don’t you want to spend the rest of your night with the boys? You know, last night as a free man?” Even though you were suggesting this, all you actually wanted to do was kiss, kiss and kiss him.
“Free man?” Harry furrowed his eyebrows with disgust, “What are you talking about?”
“You know? People say the last night before they get married is their last chance to be free?”
“Why would I need to be free when I’ve got you? I’m choosing you, like I always have. Never needed to be free.”
You smiled warmly at him. “I’m shackling you to me for life.”
“Too right you are, baby. Wouldn’t want it any other way.”
“Now, take me home, trouble.” You giggled.
“Oh. So I’m the trouble now?”
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liked by gemmastyles and 682,928 others
yourinstagram tomorrow i get your last name forever <3 p.s. i would like to state that harry bought himself that tshirt :)
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harryfan1 oh to be y/n l/n
jeffezoff Where did you two go?
harryfan2 moustacherry fans rrIISEEEEE
harryfan3 wish my bf supported me with tshirts like that
jamescorden Tequila anyone?
harrystyles I am planning on wearing that tshirt tomorrow.
yourinstagram @/harrystyles the tshirt but nothing else please
gemmastyles @/jamescorden They aren’t coming back for tequila….
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k0k0-library · 11 days ago
Text
MDNI: Your love? Our love, comrade!
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Pairing: Il Capitano x F!reader Fandom: Genshin Impact Rating: 18+ Warnings: mature, smut, death, death mentions, corruption kink? or just corruption, power abuse, mentioned necrophilia if you squint your eyes real tight and tilt your head, free use, somnophilia
You are the traveller by the way. And I don't know how to write
Snezhnaya is a frigid and unwelcoming region. Snowstorm after snowstorm, frozen rain after frozen rain... and the enemies you encounter... are far more powerful than anything you faught before. The iced mitachurls from Dragon Spine seem like children or babies in comparison. You missed them, they were easy to overcome. Even the infuriating Capybara Boss from Natlan that could one-shot you was better than Il Capitano. The first of the Fatui Harbingers, the strongest man in the whole of Teyvat, him who destroyed his vision and faught the god of skill for days until he achieved victory was nothing weak. Not in the slightest.
"You were supposed to be so much more powerful, traveller. Such a pitty, really. I was looking forward to fight with you after that stunt you pulled with Mavuika..." The taller man's voice echoed in the icy abis of the forest clearing. The frozen, forest clearing mind you. The ground was slippery and it made you loose balance, whereas he was in his natural habitat. He was used to fighting in the snow. Your trusty companion rushed to your aid.
"But I am no brute, my dear. You are terribly hurt already, rest. If you do not have a place to shelter from the snow, you and Paimon are welcomed to join me at my platoon's main courts."
Was he genuinely being nice, or was this a Fatui Trap-
"We have food there" You weren't even hungry before he mentioned food, but your stomach slightly grumbled. You heard an even louder sound of need. "We are in!" You heard Paimon say rapidly, as she flew closer to the Captain. Sometimes, it was a wonder how she survived until now, so trusting of anyone who offered good food and shelter, a story and companionship... but again, she stuck with you longer than with anyone else. She even gave up food for you, but I digress.
"It seems your friend has made the decision for you. Come, my horse is tied not far from here." Capitano started to walk down a snowy path, his previous footprints still slightly visible. You walked behind him, with Paimon. You slightly nudged the small fairy and whispered in her ear.
"Do you really think we can trust him?" "Stop worrying! Paimon remembers he was very caring with us when we were in Natlan!"
Well she wasn't wrong per se. The first Fatui Harbinger was a cold and calculated man that most time let his blade do the talking; but he was a gentle soul, a true knight that held respect and care for even the tiniest beings in Teyvat. He had honour, that is why he did not let you continue fighting him when he realised you challanged him while still being injured from a snowed-korvin... one of the most brutal enemies in Snezhnaya.
"Paimon, I have a bad feeling about this..." "Paimon will watch him very closely and protect you from the big bad harbinger!"
She emphasised this by flexing her arms through her coat. The captain let out a huff of a chuckle, knowing full well about Paimon's pride without even glancing at her. "Ah, it is most admirable of you, tiny one. But I promise I will behave around your friend." Capitano said as the image of a huge Lavian Horse came in closer.
The Lavian was a horse type specially bread to withstand cold. They were big, emanating heat through their stone-like skin. They had little fur, mostly around their glossy black hoves. Theis blood was like lava, the veins visible from the cracks in the skin. Their manes often composed of fine and long hairs.
Capitano's horse was a particularly warm one, very warm. And its maine and tail were braided short to be easier to move in the snow. "My Kan is very skiddish, try not to move too quickly around him." A scardy horse belonging to such a mean, big-bad Fatui? This was not something you see everyday. But, nevertheless you listened to him and waited patienlty for him to untie Kan, as he called the horse. Capitano got on, helped you up in front of him and Paimon rested in one of the bags wrapped to the saddle, falling asleep almost instantly.
"Your companion seems very tired" You said nothing as he urged the mount to start its slow walk to the camp. "Not much of a talker with me? You can trust me, I do not bite pretty women such as yourself" You cringed a little at his statement. If it weren't for your leg injury, you would've faught and maybe won. Hopefully won... ok no, you would've lost like a child when fighting a tiger.
Your toughts were cut short as one of his arms wrapped around you, pulling you in closer to not fall. "Steady, traveler. The last thing you need is to faceplant in the snow. I don't want you sick on top of being injured. A korvin slashed your leg, as I can tell."
You wanted to pull away from his grasp and take Paimon and leave, but you couldn't. You couldn't fight him off, even when he had an arm lightly wrapped around you. You just realised how strong this man really was. "Yes. I hate them, the korvins"
"Hm... likewise. I once encountered a wild korvin in my youth. I still have the scar, I believe." "Can I see it?"
What were you thinking, asking him to see his scar like that? It was very unusual, he was your enemy. More than a rival, more than a bad guy, more than someone standing in your way to finding your brother. You felt a weird warmth in your stomach as his hand traveled lower and lifted your short coat slightly. "You are going to he ok, I don't sense any poisoning. Meaning it was a raised korvin, not a wild one." Fuck, those big, rough, warm hands of his. They made you think things that you never thought about. Not even with Childe in his Foul Legacy form.
---------------
You woke up as he nudged you. You had arrived at the camp, but it was very quiet. Too quiet. Where were the others- wait... When did you even fall asleep in his arms? It must've been somewhere around the middle of the journey. You were tired and cold, and in need of so much sleep and rest. "Easy, traveller. You had a bad dream..." He got off Kan and tied him by the stable, then gently scooped you up and held you in his arms close to him for a moment. Like a child.
"Stay close, and do not wonder off in the camp too much. My men must be in a miscellenious arrand for the Tssaritsa at the moment."
He was so gentle while setting you down. His gestures and care made you blush in ways you never thought a man can make you feel. Capitano thengently took Paimon out of the bag. "You too, tiny one. Wake up" He nudged her cheek with his finger but she was snoring deeply. You took her in your arms. "Paimon sleeps like a log, I'll take her"
The First Fatui Harbinger nodded slightly before taking you to his den. It was big enough to fit a makeshift bedding made of an ample collection of soft, feathery pillow and heavy, warm blankets; a chest that kept archon knows what and a small table. "You will be bedded here, both you and Paimon, as you call the little fae. Now as for your wound..." His voice trailed as he moved to the chest and pulled out an oinment and some bandages.
Was he... offering to patch you up for real? No ill intention, no nothing- "Do put Paimon down and lay too. It will be easier for me to tend to your leg. And please... never challange korvins again. They are horrible."
Carring, considerate, concerned. He was actually a nice person. Capitano moved with care in lifting your leg warmer further up ypur thigh, his gloved hands so big and rough in contrast with the way he trailed them. You were staring at this man's hands, like the weirdo you were. He took the gloves off for only a moment to put the oinment on your wound and you saw something peculliar. His skin was darck and ashy, almost black with sploches of fair tones to it and his veins glowing blue.
You saw this before... On Deinslief. His skin was decaying just the same. No... even more. He seemed to be in a more advanced state than Dein, but he did not complain of tiredness or pain like the blone did sometimes. "You need not concern yourself. The rotting of my flesh ceased at some point and it is not contagious, like many believed."
"It's not that-" "Then?" "Why are you helping me...?
Capitano dagged the soothing cream on your wound as he sighed. "You entered battle already wounded and I fear that I cannot fight you wounded. It would be shameful and ungracious of a knight to fight a wounded lady" He tightlighy wrapped your leg with bandages before putting your leg warmer back in place. So he really was just that obsessed aver rightfulness that he would help his adversary? Why was it kinda hot-
"Thank you..." "No need, cara mia"
Paimon finally woke up as Capitano put his gloves back on, grogily and hungry. Your companion noticed you were taken care of and relluctantly thanked the harbinger as well. The two of you were left alone in the den as he went to patrol around the are and see if his men were near. After all, he needed to tell them about your presence beforehand. This way, he will avoid future conflicts, whishfully.
---------------
Late at night, around a huge bonefire, everyone stood in a circle. Capitano and his small platoon, you Paimon. The fire warmed your heart and danced high in the nightsky. Your eyes were hurting each time you bore into the heat for too long, making you blink long and slow. Capitano noticed and one of his hands gently tipped your head to lean on his side, thinking you were just too tired to wait for the stew to be ready.
In the short distance you heard Paimon talking to the on-duty cook, telling him about the different foods she tried until now, drawing more attention to herself from the gourmands in the team. "You can rest, cara mia. I will wake you when they are finished." You wanted to protest and tell him you were not tired. What the hell, you were no child! You were a very big and independed woman, thank you very much.
Yet you couldn't deny that the fur of his coat was extremely cozy and warm... Or was it his body that was so warm? Maybe not. After all a decaying body should be cold and frigid like the Abyss Monsters and not warm and inviting. Maybe the pile of blankets was not only to keep warm at night, but to keep warm to his heart because he was slowly dying... The thought made you shudder. Seeing you, Capitano's hand moved to caress the small of your back.
"Cold, traveller?" "A little bit... But when I think how cold you must feel, it makes me feel better"
Ah, that didn't sound quite right. That sounded rude. Did he think you're rude? Did you- Your thoughts ware interrupted by a deep, rumbling chuckle of his " You are hillarious, little girl. I don't know what world you come from, but you and your friend do know how to lighten the mood. And for your concern," He leaned closer to your ear "I am not so dead as people might think I am"
You blushed, you didn't know why. Certainly what the first harbinger said was not blush worthy, yet you still did it. Of course, you blamed it on the heat of the fire as soon as he inquier you about it. You were an odd pair, but you did look cute together in situations like this.
The food was finally ready and everyone got a healthy portion of stew with sweet buns on the side, "How can such a tiny fary eat so much?!" You heard some of the poeple say and mutter as they watch Paimon eat her second helping. The cook was just happy to see someone so eager to eat his food and like it so much. And it was Paimon, a very well known picky eater. If his food were to her standards, then he could die happy right now.
After dinner everyone was retrieting to their dens. "Aren't you going to sleep?" You asked Capitano, confused to why he was not coming to the den.
"You go before me. I want to make sure the fire did not attract any wolven giants or other mutts. The Snezhnayan frozen forests are not for the weak, cara mia."
You had to admire his dedication to keeping everyone safe. He was a good captain- no... he was a wonderful man. you slowly went to the den, looking back at him every now as then, your heart skipping abeat whenever you saw his dark silouhette in the glow of the moon. He was beautiful, he was kind to you and Paimon. Deep down, you wanted to hurt yoursself again only to prelong this period of peace and care in your life and postpone your battle with him.
As the night got darker and darker, a snow storm started. You were growing anxious as he did not come back yet. You glanced around the den just to make sure: only Paimon fast asleep and wrapped in a fuzzy blanket like a burrito. You helped her with her 'anti snezhnaya cocoon'. You wanted to laugh really, she was such a pure and fun person... but you were too concerned. What if he's cold, what if something got to him. Just when you made up your mind to leave, he entered the den, snow falling from his coat, helmet and boots.
"I saw the light from outside" he wispered "you did not had to wait for me, you need rest" "I cannot sleep if you are not here, Capitano"
You could swear he was smiling under his helmet. He took off his coat and boots sitting next to you. Almost imediately, you wanted to jump in his arms and feel him closer, cuddle with him. But you didn't want to yet. "Just go to sleep, Y/N. I am not tired yet-" You cut him off, tilting your head enough to allow you to kiss him with his helmet still on. Capitano held your waist tightly with his big hands, holding you closer to him.
"What a good little girl I have...." He muttered as he pulled away. "But I am serious. Go to sleep..."
His voice was always so deep and calm, like a distant rumble in his chest. He was just so- "If you listen to me, I will give you what you want"
---------------
The morning was a particularly cold one. Paimon woke up first and womdered around the cook to pester him some more, as Capitano waited in the den for you to wake up. Thankfully, he did not had any missions or tasks today, so he could lose it with you. But was it really considered lost time if he loved it? If he loved you? But his patience was not endless, you know? And you looked so beautiful while sleeping, your skin soft and warm under his touch - he needed you. now, right now.
Capitano moved to the enterance of the den, secuting it closed so no one from the outside could open it, say Paimon. Lat thing he needed was that bubbly fae seeing what he will do to you. He gently took off the covers from you, seeing you shivver in your sleep. The den was warm enough, but the overheat that you created by hiding under all those blankets made you accustomed to heat.
"Cara mia... my little treasure you have no idea what you do to me... You make me feral!" He growled lowly, his gloved hand moving to the hem of your pants and slowly pulling them off, making sure you didn't woke up just yet. "So precious, so clueless. You fell in my hands like a little bunny."
He massaged your thighs for a bit, just taking in your body, like he was savouring a rare wine rather than touching the person he loved. He wanted to take his time and make sure he got your body memorised. He wanted to know what made you click, what made you, you. "I will take care of you, I will protect you and I will breed you, my little bunny" He hungrily ripped your panties off you, noticing that even in your sleep you were wet.
Were you such a slut that you had wet dreams about him just as he was touching you? Tsk, tsk, we can't have that. We can't leave out sweet girl alone and frustrated in her sleep now, can we? The harbinger leaned closer to you and looked at the nape of your neck. He didn't dare to mark you just yet, he can't ruin that perfectly soft skin of yours, not without permission from you. One of his gloved hands moved between your legs and settled right on your heated core.
What a hypocrite he was... But he already knew you wanted him, so his sins were going to be forgiven. His thumb roughly pressed against your clit, rubbing slow circles around it. Capitano made you gasp and wake up this way, your spidered view taking in the image before you in haze. "Hush, my love. You just close your eyes and let me take care of you"
He continued to work his way around your clit for a while before prodding your vagina with the pad of his finger. You couldn't, or better said, didn't want to do more than lay there and moan softly as he finally pushed a finger in. Capitano started to finger you softly at first, like it was your first time being touched like this by a man. And even if it wasn't he wanted to make you remember him as being better than anyone else, more caring, more loving of you.
"P-Please, I need you~" "Patience, my little one. I still need to stretch you out-" "Don't care! Need you...." You muttered as you cut him off. So rude, but he couldn't really blame you. He did have an efect on people.
He finally listened to your requests and you saw the harbinger shift his weight off you for a little bit. You were still so tired, your eyelids felt so heavy as you fluttered your eyelashed a bit. You closed your eyes for only a second, you swore! But you quickly opened them and claws at his back as he pushed in you.
He wasn't lying, he was big. Capitano's patience was already thin from waitin gfor you to wake up but he knew better than to start now. His dick touched you in all the right places. You whimpered and moaned for him to move. "Anything my little girl wants~" He growled in your ear and began to slowly pull his hips back and press them against your roughly again.
A hand was on your hip, sqeezing it tightly to emphasize his power over you, as his other arm lightly caressed your hceeck. His eyes bored into your soul, staring down into your core as he continued to make love to you. He felt so warm aginst you, he way right. 'not that dead yet'. His pace quickened, earning more whiny moans from you.
"Capitano, please! Please! I-i need to-" "Shh~ just let me take you"
And take you he did. As you tightened around him and came with a loud moan, he planted himself deep in you and spill his warmth in, painting the walls of your vagina white. Even if he was a fucking decaying corpse, you'd still want him... 'not that dead yet' you kept repeating yourself in your head.
"You are devine, my sweet~" He placed a gentle kiss on your lips, lazily pulling the covers over the both of you. "How about we sleep some more....?"
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hotvintagepoll · 2 months ago
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Trying to get more into old movies because of this blog (I only know about half of these people and feel like a poser) do you have good recommendations on where to start or is it just a situation where you watch stuff and find what you like as you go?
you are not a poser <3 i myself am just here for the hotties.
here is my quick and dirty list of fun films to start with if you're new to old movies. and of course if you like one of these, do try to find more stuff as you go! there's no bad way to try out old movies.
(this list is not official and is SUPER quick. i'm tagging for content warnings where I can, but if I forgot something let me know.)
"I want to watch something SILLY!"
The Court Jester (Danny Kaye, Angela Lansbury, Glynis Johns, Basil Rathbone)—everyone in this movie is hot. everyone is in fancy medieval dress, which makes them hotter. everyone here is very silly. You can stream this on Hoopla, last time i checked, so you might be able to stream it through your library!
Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang (Dick Van Dyke, Sally Ann Howes, Lionel Jeffries, Gert Frobe)—some people hate this movie and to them I say What Is Wrong With You. dick van dyke is a hot absent minded inventor who lives in a windmill with his two adorable children, his gorgeous sheepdog, and a grandfather who is categorically useless. it feels like the two films mary poppins (1964) and willy wonka (1971) had a baby and that baby was born on roller skates singing an old broadway showtune. this one has been showing up in some odd places lately—I think you can catch it on Tubi or Hoopla? It's definitely around.
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (Jane Powell, Julie Newmar, Howard Keel, Russ Tamblyn)—my problematic fave. everytime i watch this i change my mind whether it's a sexist pile of garbage or a feminist paean, and fellas, today we're on the feminist paean bandwagon!! jane powell's millie is truly the star of the movie, she is the hero she drives the plot the narrative is on her side, and besides all that there are seven very hot men dancing next to her and six beautiful ladies making me bisexual. (on Tubi last I checked.)
The Duke Is Tops (Lena Horne, Laurence Criner)—I get a huge kick out of watching Laurence Criner and Ralph Cooper swindle everybody while also trying to put on a show; there's just something silly and sincere here, plus you get a ~musical extravaganza~ at the end when all is right as rain again. Free on YouTube I think?
"I want to watch something DRAMATIC that may make me FEEL SOMETHING."
Witness for the Prosecution (Marlene Dietrich, Tyrone Power, Elsa Lanchester)—I love a campy twisty turny mystery, don't you? :) I'm not going to talk about this one much because it's better to go in blind, but if you like Agatha Christie stories you'll probably like this.
To Be Or Not To Be (Carole Lombard, Jack Benny)—always relevant, always makes me laugh, also makes me cry. this takes place in poland during wwii so big tw for nazi imagery and mentions. (don't worry. this movie fucking hates nazis.)
Seven Samurai (Toshiro Mifune)—this one is Great Cinema™™™™™™™™™™™ for a goddamned reason
"I want to watch some stuff with the scrungles in it!"
Mr. Washington Goes to Town (Mantan Moreland)—I've been checking out more of Mantan Moreland's stuff because every time I see him in something I think he's delightful, and I really enjoyed this silly-spooky comedy. Does this story have a brain cell? No. Are the special effects and goofy slapstick fun? Yes. This is a fun example of an all-Black cast in a film that was made for Black audiences, and is a striking counterpoint to the stereotypical representation Black actors were given in white-targeted films, showing the enormous amount of talent and artistry the racist studios missed out on by excluding these actors. This is not A Great Film™ but it's still A Fun Time,™ with a goofy Laurel and Hardy type vibe. (It's free on Youtube.)
The Red Shoes (Robert Helpmann, Leonide Massine, Marius Goring)—hey kid, you wanna watch something fucked up? This movie is so fucked up. It's about ballet, it's about art, it's about technicolor, it's about dance and toxic relationships and making theatre and nightmares and ambition and death. A lot of these recs tend on the silly side (because I tend on the silly side) but this one is actually Serious Film and will definitely help you chat up Martin Scorsese should you ever meet him. Big content warning if you can't handle dark themes right now—this movie's pretty dark, not in the gore way but in the Haunting Creepy Image way. (it's also free on Tubi and Kanopy most of the time.)
The Invisible Man (Claude Rains)—my favorite of the vintage horror flicks and a great introduction to Most Dunked On Hot Vintage Man of All Time, Claude Rains. (it helps that you barely ever see him!) Very very silly but the special effects are just plain fun. (I think this is on Internet Archive in full?)
"Can I just get more hot people please?"
Flower Drum Song (James Shigeta, Nancy Kwan, Miyoshi Umeki, Jack Soo)—there are so many unbelievably hot people in this movie which is somehow very good (thanks to its cast) and also incredibly, horrifically bad (thanks to its white team of writers, directors, and producers). on the one hand, it's a mostly Asian cast in a big budget, beautifully designed MGM style musical! there's dream sequences, lots of fun dancing, crooning Rogers & Hammerstein cabaret moments, and just charm galore. it is also freighted with so. many orientalist assumptions and stereotypes, absolutely ridiculous shit that the writers ABSOLUTELY should have known better about in the 60s and nonetheless carried into this. this is a hard one to recommend because I loved this cast, and I loved seeing them in a context beyond the usual stereotypical bit parts so many of them frequently were limited to—yet the movie itself perpetuates so many stereotypes on its own it can be a hard one to watch, and I totally understand if it does not work for most people. tl;dr watch for Shigeta, Kwan, Umeki, and the others, but content warnings galore for one (really bad) case of yellowface casting, orientalist tropes, extremely stereotypical character types, etc. (On Tubi/Kanopy last I checked.)
Charade (Cary Grant, Audrey Hepburn, James Coburn)—this movie feels like a Hitchcock movie except I had a ton of fun watching it, which I can't always say for a Hitch film. (I told you my taste was bad.) This one is free on YouTube and thank god because Audrey wears a lot of Givenchy, Cary Grant wears spectacles and keeps almost dying, it's very exciting and thrilling and funny and sexy. I don't think there are any content warnings but it's been a minute since I watched it. (I should go watch it right now.)
The Big Sleep (Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall)—they're so hot askjdljhjghladkghjksahkhgslkahgshskjhgsalhgsahgjh. i like this one a lot :)
[this is NOT A FULL LIST of all the hot vintage movies to start with but it might give you some starting places! i banged this out as quick as I could at 2 am, so apologies that it's sloppy and not perfect.]
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