#so one-off character designs forever it is
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highfantasy-soul · 3 days ago
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Wait wait wait - XD
Mismag episode 7 spoilers
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[Prefacing this with I'm not angry nor judging anyone at the table - having no idea what their true thoughts on these things are, just pointing out how silly and perhaps purposefully 'missing the point' some of the characters are being played as]
Please tell me the adventuring party was Brennan still doing a bit about not understanding that Tabby was 100% directly mimicking Evan (even though it started out Evan realizing he was looking in a mirror, then idk if everyone just got lost in the sauce and that realization just got buried in the improv yes-anding far away from the starting point)
Brennan just screamed that Evan's vibes are RANCID!
Evan who just gave a whole speech about how he was emotionally crushed (and low-key judgy) about how Jammer said 'family on 6' but his single mom of 3 didn't adopt a troubled 17 year old whom she'd never met. Then feeling icky that a rock they've been traveling with and using for info wants to be a part of the friendship.
How the whole point of him wanting to be a dog was that people didn't get rid of you - they kept you and you didn't need to be explicitly useful for them to still want you. Then Tabby literally said the exact same thing - being afraid they'd leave him behind when they found the wall he was supposed to go in despite how useful he'd been with as much energy as he had with the magic and Evan POINT BLANK REFUSED TO PROMISE IT!! Despite Evan asking the same of his group of friends.
Claiming that Tabby was 'love bombing' them to get them to do what Tabby wanted, but not recognizing Evan does the same - then blames people for abandoning him even though none of them have.
AND THE PARALLELS WITH HOW EVAN TAPES OUT A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING AND TABBY HAS A LITERAL OUTLINE IN A WALL HE'S SUPPOSED TO DIRECTLY FIT INTO AND YET EVAN CLAIMS TO WANT TO BE ABLE TO BREAK OUT OF THAT 'NECESSITY' TO HAVE A PLACE WHERE YOU FIT AND JUST BE ABLE TO EXIST WITHOUT NEEDING TO FIT A SPECIFIC SHAPE/PURPOSE IN THE WORLD
How Evan only sees one way his 'needs' can be met - and that's with the group all living together with their themed rooms and adventuring forever (exactly what Tabby said) and getting really disregulated when the group wants to be in each other's lives in a different way - leading Evan to almost fully cut everyone off because they didn't fit in the small box of 'this is the way they'll show they love me', completely missing all the ways that they, too, get to be their own person and just because Evan isn't stitched to them at the hip doesn't mean they aren't a family.
Tabby is pretty clearly just becoming 'sentient' and he's mimicking what he's seeing around him - namely, Evan's desperate need to belong and be a part of something permanently
I have no idea how much of all that was a bit meant to highlight how Evan just can't clock that comparison (even though at the beginning of Tabby waking up fully he seemed to - and then promptly decided that instead of facing that in himself and extending some compassion and empathy to Tabby, he veered to a hard 'we need to destroy this thing that reminds me of how I behave') or how much was Brennan and Lou just getting lost in the sauce of how to interpret Tabby's every move into something bad, but I'm glad the fems and thems of the table called it out and acknowledged that's what was happening.
I really hope the next episode circles back on Evan's initial realization that Tabby was like looking in the mirror and that's how Evan is to be around and there will be some growth there instead of Evan and Jammer just teaming up to destroy Tabby. K dropped the line about making love sustainable which earned a knowing look from Aabria, so I hope that, since Evan was allowed to have his tirade against K (for good reason) episode 3, K will get to call Evan on his shit too.
I think it was a really smart design to have the motives be so explicit this season and at this point I'm very very interested in seeing how the different characters realize their motive, but also reach the point of understanding what they thought they wanted wasn't actually exactly what they need - Jammer realizing that 'teamwork' might need to be achieved differently from how he's been going about it, he might need to pivot. Evan realizing that 'belonging' doesn't mean everyone is with you all the time and constantly reassuring you they don't hate you, they can live their own lives without that meaning they've ditched you.
Idk, very rambly, but the last episode sparked so many ideas in me about how the characters can face themselves and grow due to the wonderful world, mechanics, and plot Aabria has set up.
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Not understanding your own characters is embarrassing and unprofessional
so if there’s one thing Vivzepop is horrible at doing besides designing her characters and humor is how the way she writes her own characters
all of them are questionable complex characters that never face the consequences of shitty actions or don’t get any development and stay in the same arc
Let’s start with our perfect example of never facing the consequences of their actions which is stolas
Basically this man has cheated on his wife with someone he only met once and embarrassed his daughter and instead of feeling shame and guilty about it he pretty much don’t care about Stella being mad and Octavia feeling miserable so instead the show having facing any punishment or someone calling him out nothing happens the only person who gets shit on and gets the blame is blitzo and yeah while asmodeus and frizz calls him out for the affair the show completely sweeps it under the rug and has those two just forget about it in season two
another good example is angel dust he sexually harassed husk constantly makes sexual comments and doesn’t treat Charlie with respect and yes you can say this is way of coping since he is a victim of sexual abuse but that doesn’t give him the pass to do the same thing to husk and instead of Charlie or vaggie telling him to stop they get mad at husk from pushing him away and suddenly he’s the jerk and he needs to apologize to angel
Then you have the characters who barely never gets any development and stays in the same arc and ooh boy we have many…
Let’s start off with moxxie
to sum up his arc moxxie wants to be strong and brave for Millie which wouldn’t be so bad if those two weren’t married and had a slow burn going on but they are already a married couple plus moxxie is literally the son of a mafia boss so why does he keeps having the same arc even though Millie told him he’s good enough for her
Then there’s loona the show has her being the edgy moody girl that secretly has a nervous shy side and wants some friends the beelzebub episode have you thinking she’s going to meet some other girls and become friends but nothing happens all the girls she’s talked to are mean bitchy girls and loona just ends up going home with no friends which leads to this question what was the whole point of her own episode where nothing happens except some stupid conflict and her babysitting blitzo
But hey that doesn’t matter because her true friend is the 17 year old who gets gaslit into thinking her father is trying his best sarcasm 😒/
and last we have Blitzo having his millionth character angst is not really helping his character development like frizz already except his apology after the fire accident verosiks has (sorta) moved on and enjoying her life and let’s not forget his creepy behavior towards moxxie and Millie (and yes I’m aware ghostfuckers bought that up but let’s be real by next episode he will go back to his creepy behavior) we have two episodes left in this season will Blitzo actually change his ways or will he still be the same person except for being stuck with stolas this time
There’s more I wanna say but this will take forever so have this
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tikitania · 18 hours ago
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Did anyone see the Paris Opera Ballet’s Swan Lake on IMAX this weekend?
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Nureyev’s libretto….lots to unpack. Rothbart is such a central character in this version pulling the narrative strings in overt and dark ways both inside the court and on the mystical lake. He’s not just evil wizard who has trapped Odette, he’s a dark force within the very halls of power who seems to have everyone hoodwinked — this fully registers with me after the recent US election.
It seems the capture of Odette and turning her into a swan was some sort of long game to destroy Siegfried, who stands in the way of power. But Rothbart also seems to have some masochistic, sexual feelings for the young prince, too. The homoeroticism was off the charts — I’ve never seen the crossbow gifted to the price so seductively! One interpretation could be that this version of Swan Lake is about doomed sexual longing because it’s Siegfried who dies in the end. Odette is forever trapped as a swan, and Rothbart’s dominance is complete.
In the sequel, Rothbart marries the Queen and rules with total power because she’s lost in grief after the death of her only son. Odile is his mistress. But the Prince’s Friends with the help of the swans come to the rescue and defeat Rothbart, returning the balance of power of good over evil. You’re welcome!
Park delightfully surprised me. I had never seen her dance before beyond short clips online. She exceeded my expectations, especially as Odile. Marque is really exquisite. He’s an expressive dancer with beautiful jumps and soft landings. But Pablo Lagasa, as Rothbart, stole the show with his technical prowess and smoldering deep-set eyes.
Seeing this in IMAX is incredible. Would love more of these, please! Love the bird’s eye views of the corps….I don’t care for a lot of Nureyev’s choreographic choices, but I did love seeing the corps formations, especially in Act 3. Normally, I like the set design and costumes at the POB, but the Easter egg hues for the court scenes didn’t work for me. The fuchsia gowns for the brides with those tiny fans were downright garish.
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angiestown · 8 months ago
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I'm always like "I don't really do OCs I'm jealous of people who have OCs that they get obsessed with" but I actually did have two (2) OCs in my early teens
one was a robot girl who used a hard light hologram to look human. she had no personality traits and I was never really sure on a name for her because that stuff is not fun to think about. the only anything I had about her was that it's a secret that she's a robot, and I'd imagine scenarios where she'd be damaged or run low on battery and have to get outta there before people found out. she had a megaman-style forearm gun of course
second was a boy who liked robot girl and he had a hat that was fun to draw and he thought robot girl was even cooler after he found out she was a robot. that's it
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phantomsf0rever · 2 months ago
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oh to be a journalist interviewing the most doomed woman in new jersey about her cute little outfits...
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i hope tumblr doesn't compress her... i usually use big canvases and it turns out fine but this file was particularly diabolical
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luck-of-the-drawings · 10 months ago
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(OLD OC SKETCHES) Meet Sunnabelle Von Sunnoviche, final daughter of the Sunnoviche family. Peeking from behind a window, she witnessed a wizards final spell, one that reduced the world to a wasteland. Her noble blood damned her to [HELL], but unwanting to suffer with her family, she made a deal with the devil. She now hunts in his name. The top of her head was taken by the blast on that day. The fires of her spirit have boiled her blood into a super-heated plasma.
#luckys original content#GRAAHH MY OCS OCS IM SORRY MY OCS I NEVER FUCKIN DRAWW YYAALLL#i was cleanin stuff on my pc again n found a buncha stray doodles of her that i made like. 1 or 2 yrs ago. so i cooked em into smth edible#shes a gunslinger rogue i think! mechanically aasimar bc plasma blood#played her once for a very teeny tiny improved oneshot me n some buddies did forever ago#would love to play as her again... someday a cowboy themed game will find me.. n she will live again...#SUNNABELLE VON SUNNOVICHE! the last name was sposed to sound like 'son of a bitch' ehehehe#bc she is ONE HELL ofa son ofa bitch. shes mean shes short tempered she takes NO SHIT#and she loses her mmIIIIND when she meets a delightfully stupid pretty person#i didnt play her for long so her personality hasnt evolved that far. thats the fun thing abt playing characters! u meet them when u play em#SUNNABELLE FUNFACTS: she is the 6th child of 11 siblings. middlest a middle child can be. bc o this she was often overlooked or ignored#she grew up in a family of obnoxiously rich nobles. all the other siblings were trained and focused on to be the best a sunnoviche can be#meanwhile. sunnabelle often stuck to herself. drawing and creating little fantasy worlds. was always a fan of wild wests n cowboys n guns#she was the only one that saw the WIZARD coming. she was peering over a window when the blast went off. taking the top of her head#GUHH IM ACTULY SO PROUDA HER DESIGN SHE LOOKS SO COOL.. LIKE WHATS WITH THE PLASMA HOW DID I DRAW THAT SO WELL. IM SO PROUD.#I lov all the sun symbolism.. its so fun.. what a fun character ive made.. hell yeah.... anyway hope u guys like her too.#if u got questions ive got ANSWERS!!! my askbox is always open. im pretty sure.
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oohbuggypie · 8 months ago
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i saw this pose by a well known pinup model (fun fact: shes the same one i used as reference for Tiger's pole pose!) and i thought it was soo pretty and also very Heike core so here's some practice 🩷 he's using Disco's mirror btw
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IGNORE HIS FEETSIES i wasnt gonna try doing all that srry ✝️
additional uncolored version under cut bcuz i like it plain as well (taken b4 his shorts were added but don't panic , no actual nudity !) 🩷
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doerot · 2 months ago
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I have such a mixed match hodge podge of aesthetics for the fashion in my book and I think I've finally gotten to a place where I'm pretty happy with the fits but like. Wtf am I supposed to do for color palettes hfjdmdk
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dawnleaf37 · 3 months ago
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in honor of the tpot short with the failed debuters (assumedly) being announced soon heres my tierlist of all the tpot debuters most favorite to least
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tags for longer opinions :3
#i dont really hate any of them and avocado is just down there because I kind of enjoy everyone else more . The only I feel like . Any kind+#+of Real negativity at all to are nonexisty and 9ball#nonexisty because fuck off and 9ball because that’s just 8ball but different gimmick . And 8ball is already not the best imo#tpot#happy taggy got in bc they n winner were my favorites . I have my reaction to taggy getting in recorded I love taggy a lot#what can I say im a :3 girl#i like leek because it’s a plant also they put a hatsune miku ref in the episode with the flip phone triple baka#pda is a device which is always awesome forever and it looks like theyr gonna have a role in the short which is :DDDDDD#onigiri is fun because it’s a fun romaji . it would also be funny if they called em jelly donut . but onigiri is cool they look like+#+a rocky clone Maybe or if they’re just mute hey I Really Like Mute Characters So Win. cause I Think they were the only one who didn’t+#+speak in the episode . Don’t take my word for it I haven’t watched tpot 1 in a while lol (I think boom mic didn’t speak either actually)#boom mic; clapboard; and camera I speak as 3 together . Theyre super awesome and it would be fun to see if they have a dynamic . Cuase+#+theyre like . All movie equipment . Idk I remember long back ago i roleplayed em they mean a lot to me#i like tha vhsy a little more because reminds me of that freak from TAOT who i just adore . Also novel rectangular thing also kind of prett#tape friend looks like a menace and I like characters that are menaces I think them and six could be friends#sink I just like the design of lol . also I like the song kitchen sink by tøp#salt lamp is cool because I like salt lamps and they’re pretty colors both on and off#shopping cart is silly . I like wheeled characters#blender is an appliance I like how they did the asset#discy’s prettyyyy colored#battery is small and cute they also might be the mute character idr I haven’t seen them talk personally . Feel free to correct me if any+#+info I say here is wrong btw#Snare drum is small and cool and I like how they look#Anchor is also I like how they look also listen to anchor by caize#shell is like emo and a good shape#rubber spatula; scissors; tax guy I forget their name; and shampoo I think have good designs#avocado im so sorry I just like everyone else more than u im not the biggest fan ever of things like donut mouth#and I already explained the last 2 awesome 👍
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camellcat · 1 year ago
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was rewatching some drawing a ____! by tennelleflowers to help myself get inspired, so here's some more kitty!companions doodles
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tbh idk if these two would get along but I like to think, once they had their sarah jane vs rose moment, they'd be just fine
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brbuttons · 5 months ago
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Fortuna's page is now up to date.
◇ huge update to 'about' section ◇ new 'luck's fortune' card design ◇ fixed 'lounge' outfit ref
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shoechoe · 1 year ago
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Not to gush too much about Pucci's appearance on here, but since I reblogged that poll, ngl a lot of the time when I was reading the manga I just stopped to stare at him in some panels because he was so pretty (even if his hair was weird). Like idk just look at him
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I really adore the way his eyes look in particular- especially the early panels where it looks like they have stars in them.
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kellystar321 · 1 year ago
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#periodical life updates#lets hope this one goes better than the last one </3#anyway hi everyone. im in an entirely different timezone during this trip so its actually mid afternoon right now#thats not what this is about though this is about how im EXCITED FOR ARTFIGHT AS USUAL!!! lemmy posted his s/is and theyre so cute <3#also the theme reveal is coming on the 23! i hope its enough time for the theme templates? i love doing the theme templates with everyone :#this'll be my seventh year participating holy sht!! ive been doing this for seven (7) years!!!!!!!!#ive been feeling like ive been improving in art every artfight but idk how i'll fare this year. i feel like ive been a bit stagnant#and i did some PRETTY KILLER PIECES LAST YEAR;;; who knows if i'll top it; especially with summer college classes UGH#miserable about that btw. college my beloathed forever and ever amen. :/ ive been meaning to fix a few characters profiles and add some too#FINALLY going to separate kelly and jace! kelly is now the bureau of balance halfling only <3 ive been redrawing a new design of her :>#she has cute pointed ears now heho!! and actual more fantasy-esque clothes to fit her universe <3 jace is getting a separate profile!#jace is now solely my sona and i look SO much more gender now with the haircut and i can post my refs <33#i also want to post agent and icarus and all the javelins but that means i have to draw them actually hfjkh <33#i should also actually add something to shen's profile hfkjfh i care more about xer worldbuilding than xer character i feel </3#IVE BEEN MEANING TO GET QUEUE BACK UP but everytime i look at my drafts i feel so tired </3 theres ART i want to reblog!!!#ough. some other time. okay! im gonna get my artfight discord channel back up and running for the new artfight season! let's go let's go!#oh and i'll be sure to announce which team im joining obviously hdjfdh it'll probably be the lighthearted one <3#some of the themes this year are a little off? (stars vs nebula? heart vs soul? arent those the same thing?) but im hoping for the best <3#okay frfr going now! hope for queue soon maybe if i have time/energy! working on artfight! lets goooooo!! <3
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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STILL wide awake! i did not put down my phone! and now im hungry. so i will not be sleeping tonight ♥️
#purrs#also… im gonna admit it. ive been up for hours cleaning out… my toyhouse accounts. not cleaning them out but cleaning them up. and im so#FUCKING mad at my 18 year old self for giving away characters that meant so much to me to 12 year olds on warriors amino who never finished#their half of the art trade… and now so many of them are like. completely out of my reach and i can never get them back. im trying to ask#for the characters ive been able to find and track them down. which for ppl who actually love and care for them im sure is predatory and#annoying bc it’s like ok you made that choice so live with it. but im so fucking mad at myself and i wish i could undo it. i know it doesn’t#matter bc i don’t do that kind of deviantart stuff anymore but like.. i gave away characters who were so special to me growing up and now so#many of them are like.. on locked / unauthorized toyhouses or deleted or the person already owns them and is never trading them and#imjust so SAD!!!!!! over pixels i know. PULLING AN ALL NIGHTER over pixels. but im so saddddd aughhhhh#delete later#(i also did clean out photos and do practice drivers tests btw. but ive mostly been doing toyhouse stuff)#also im so sad and angry charahub went down and i didn’t even know it and i can’t access my data at allll like so much precious info#on there is gone forever. pain and suffering. also it’s worth naming im not in this to like have the best most expensive whatever designs im#doing this bc i desperately want to salvage every piece of my childhood / adolescence and never let go of anything in my life ever and when#i was 18 i thought i could run away from deeply permanently hurting and betraying a friend by selling all of my characters starting w the#ones they made me and then branching off into baiscally all of them to not make it look like it was just abt them bc i couldn’t bear to be#reminded of what i had done. and now i live with the consequences. in more ways than just the characters obviously. so there’s that#(i had my reasons for doing what i had to do btw. but i will never stop feeling guilty about it or regretting how it must have felt for them#bc we were like best friends and then i turned cold and awful because i didn’t know how to communicate my needs so instead i just shut them#out and didn’t even have the decency to explain why. and it fucking sucked that i did that. lol)#* ​and still sucks. and i think abt it all the time and try not to talk about it for a lot of reasons but here i am so. lol
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aurumalatus · 2 months ago
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𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞 [𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞]
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pairing. kinich x fem!reader
word count. 700
genre/warnings. childhood friends to lovers, slow burn, fluff and angst, drabble collection
summary.
in which kinich learns the value of all things: lives, friendship, and, of course, you. or, in which kinich realizes that you are the only priceless thing in this world.
author's note. this is just a short prologue to show how things end (yay happy endings!), but the two have a lot of trauma to go through before they reach endgame. i love kinich's character and design so i'm excited for this! interaction is highly appreciated :)
𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ↣
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Kinich thinks he’s loved you since forever.
He has no way of proving that, of course; those years are long gone, and even if he had the opportunity to ask, he’s not sure his younger self would have a comprehensible answer. He can only see now that he’s come so far, when the memories are too murky to make sense of but the warmth remains—when he thinks of your smile and feels something akin to the weightlessness of grappling and flying through the trees.
He says “forever” because he really has no idea when it started—the realization came far after the feeling. He’d been before school age when he met you for the first time, and it’s been over a decade since then.
“Kinich!”
Your call interrupts his thoughts, and his gaze is drawn skyward—you’re standing somewhere far above him, on one of the walkways lining the cliffs of the Scions of the Canopy. You’re waving so wildly and ridiculously that it almost makes him smile.
“Are you coming down?” he calls through cupped hands, well-acquainted with this kind of long-distance communication. Sound tends to echo well between the cliffs here, and he’s sure you heard him when you offer an enthusiastic thumbs-up in return. 
“Yup! I bought a few things, so I was hoping you could help me carry them home!”
Kinich rolls his eyes teasingly. “Somehow I doubt that you have enough Mora left to afford my services.”
You pout in reply. Ajaw decides to appear then, a malicious puff of smoke over Kinich’s shoulder. “Of course not! You better not be making fun of me, letting some mortal treat you like a servant! The Almighty Dragonlord, K’uhul Ajaw, won’t take this kind of disrespect—”
Ignoring his wordy introduction, you call down to Kinich again. “I’m coming down! Think fast!”
“—Don’t make me lau—wait, what?!”
Even Ajaw yelps in surprise as you take a running leap off the walkway, freefalling fast down the plane of the cliff. If he were any younger, Kinich might’ve had a heart attack. But you’ve been pushing your luck with him for years, and it comes as instinct when Kinich grapples up, deftly catching you in his arms with a light ‘oof’.
You’re holding a few boxes in your arms, he notices, and you smile. 
“I bought some Puff Pops for us to share later. I was thinking we can do some climbing, or there’s this cave I’ve been meaning to explore.”
His heart does a sort of flip that cannot be attributed to the way you fly through the sky. It’s all so much: the sensation of your warmth pressed against him, the scent of the wind rushing past, and the laughter of his tribe members below. Their eyes shine as they watch the two of you pass above them, chuckling at the familiar sight. 
And really, he can’t remember ever being this happy. When he thinks of how much it took to reach this point, the heartbreak and trauma aren’t the first things to come to mind. Instead, it’s you. The way you held him, the way you cried for him, the way you chased him. Always laughing, always in love.
Too lost in his thoughts, he doesn’t notice your curious stare for a moment. You poke at his cheek, and he startles, nearly dropping you both.
“Is something wrong?” you ask shyly, suddenly self-conscious of the box in your hands. “We don’t have to do any of that. Really, if you have a high-value job or something, I understand.”
Ajaw decides to butt-in again, reddened with rage. “Yes, all of that sucks! I mean, seriously, don’t you have anything better to do—”
“No, it’s great,” Kinich murmurs in reply, flicking Ajaw away with a strong hand—the Saurian’s roar dissipates with the wind. He holds you tighter against his chest. There’s nothing worth more to him than you. “That all sounds really, really amazing.”
As the two of you burst through the trees, laughing the whole way, he thinks that it doesn’t really matter when he started to love you. All that matters is that he doesn’t stop.
Kinich thinks he’ll love you forever.
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ozzgin · 5 months ago
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Omg i love your Yandere serial killer with a split persona so much 😭😭, can you do more headcanon about him?? Like does he aware of his other persona seeing reader kinda scared to talk to him normally thank u
Yandere! Serial Killer Scenarios
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Featuring the kind, quiet man who has no idea why you look at him with terror in your eyes. This time with an official character design!
Content: female reader, mentions of murder, obsessive behavior, horror, dubious/non-consent
[Main Story] | [More original works]
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You only attempted to escape once.
His frequent warnings had begun to wear off, and your mind dared to wander towards hope. One day, during his evening walk, you ran to your bedroom and pulled out a train ticket you'd hidden earlier inside a drawer. The small piece of paper weighed heavy in your hand. Come, now, you scolded yourself. It was weeks of careful planning: anticipating his schedule, erasing your tracks, preparing the essentials. You could already smell the worn leather seats, and hear the jarring whistle of departure. Then you'd be far away from this maniac, all but a terrible memory to be locked away.
There was no time for hesitation. You grabbed a small bag and sped towards the station, frequently looking over your shoulder, muttering silent prayers. Once you made it to your compartment, you exhaled in relief. A relief you hadn't felt in months, washing over your body and relaxing your tense muscles. You climbed the stairs, and searched for your seat. Has someone misread their ticket? You found your spot occupied by a stranger.
"What did I tell you about running away?" his deep voice echoed across the empty hall.
The walk back home was silent. You were convinced this was your end. You'd arrive at the house, and he'd cut you into pieces. Your lips curled in a horrified grimace, mind flooded with foreign feelings: your nails plucked apart with pliers, a burning sting after each detachment. The roots of your teeth grinding and screeching within the bone of your jaw, until all that's left is a fleshy, gaping wound. Plop, plop, as each little souvenir falls into the jar.
He slammed the door shut and stared you down. You looked at the floor, but all you could see were the grimy ID cards of all the women who never made it out of this damned house. You were next.
His large hand ruffled your hair, and you glanced up in disbelief.
"This stays between us. Mother better not hear that her soon-to-be daughter in law tried to run away. Especially now that she's warmed up to you. Are we clear?"
You nodded desperately. God, how pathetic of you. But being trapped was better than rotting underground like the rest of them. You just wanted to live.
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You can always tell whether it's him, or him. It's the silence. Or lack of, for that matter. He likes the quietness, the muffled ticking of the clock, the busy rattling in the kitchen, your laughs, your chatter. You'll sit together and listen to the rain, or read your books across from each other. There's no need for words, you know you can be at peace.
He likes music. When you hear the record player, you know it's your cue to perform. You exit your room - it's better if he doesn't call you down himself - and descend to the main area. The stairs creak louder, the wallpaper begins to yellow. It's almost as if the house ages with the music, and you tumble back in time.
He's been waiting for you, naturally. How's a man meant to spend his evenings, if not with his adored wife? He'll reach out for your hand, and invite you to a slow dance. Those are the worst moments. The tight, suffocating hold, his deranged stare drilling into your very soul, the whispered promises: that you're forever his, and you'll never find happiness anywhere else. He knows it. It's the same for him, really. Everything he's ever needed lies within your embrace.
Some days, the charade doesn't last long. You simply won't be in the mood to be kissed, to be stripped naked and fondled by his murderous hands. So you'll just pout and gaze ahead. It angers him terribly.
"Wretched whore. Do I look like a beggar?"
He'll shove you aside and make his way out, taking his tools with him. He hates asking for your affection and would rather take his anger out somewhere else. You know he won't hurt you, or force himself on you, which means someone else will have to pay for your disrespect. And yet, it's the only freedom you have around him - the privilege of refusing him and living to see the next day. The rest aren't as lucky. You'd rather not think too deeply about it.
My honey, I know With the dawn that you will be gone But tonight, you belong to me Just to little old me.
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What a bizarre thing, to harbor such hatred towards the one you love. You've never met anyone kinder. He's thoughtful, patient, caring. He knows everything about you and lives to serve you. He's your best friend and your lover. He's the one you want to marry one day. But he's also...well...him. And you can't have one without the other.
"No, Mother, it isn't tacky," he barks at the shattered mirror, adjusting your necklace. "And you know what? It's up to (Y/N) to decide if she wants to wear your wedding jewelry."
"It's nice", you respond curtly. You look into the empty reflection and nod. He likes it when you take his side in front of Mother.
"I knew you'd agree. We're a match made in Heaven, aren't we?" he smiles and zips up the old dress. You shiver: wearing a dead woman's gown was not part of your wedding plans. The corset is tightened, and you gasp. His hands are tense.
"I know he proposed to you. And what a stupid grin you had on your face when it happened! You never act like that around me."
He doesn't call me a bitch, for starters, you think to yourself. You shuffle on the bed, trying to loosen up the garment, but he swiftly pins you down onto the mattress.
"Not that it matters. Would you like to know why?" he inquires with a familiar glimmer of jealousy in his dilated pupils. "Because I'll always be your first. You know it, I know it. He never will.
At the end of the day, you belong to me."
To compete with oneself. Nonsense. Utter madness, all of it. The house; the drawer filled with gory trophies; the nightly talks with Mother dearest, whose bones have most likely turned to dust by now; the bloodied scalpels; the embrace of a man who fills you with warmth and terror.
You're part of it now.
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