#so often we get a transformation even if subtle to change how we view these characters

[mylastmoleculeofserotonin]

One of my favorite things about KATAOW is Wolf’s character development. It’s so subtle and gradual that on my first viewing of it, I didn’t really notice it until the end of each season.

I feel like Season 1 could be used as a masterclass for this kind of character development. Even though there are major changes in the way she lives, they don’t change her immediately. At the start of the show, Wolf’s life fundamentally changes by living with another person, but she is basically the same as how she was before for about the first 4 episodes. However, during this time, she disagrees with Kipo on just about everything, but the way they resolve conflict slowly gets better and better, going from physically fighting over eating/keeping Mandu in “Burrow Girl” to Wolf willingly going along with Kipo’s plans in “Cactus Town” and even risking her life to do so again in “The Astronomers in Turtlenecks.” But even after that, they don’t start working seamlessly together. Wolf still is the person who she was before she met Kipo, putting herself and her security above everything else. But in “Tad Mullholland,” we see that this now is beginning to encompass her long-neglected social needs, which then comes into conflict with her physical safety in “Mute-Eat-Mute World” where we see her instinctively prioritizing her physical safety above all else.

But by the end of Season 1 and the start of Season 2, we see that Wolf’s concerns over physical safety, have grown to encompass the safety of Kipo and the others as well. This is a very subtle and important change which turns her rugged survivalist mentality into a more fiercely protective one, as showcased in “The Goat Cheese Prophecy” and “To Catch a Deathstalker,” where Wolf is more than willing to charge headfirst into danger to protect Kipo. But then, in “Benson and the Beast,” when Kipo is able to transform whenever she needs to, Wolf suddenly is not in charge of protecting Kipo and the others, which takes that stress off of Wolf and makes room for her to trust Kipo and actively participate in her plans for redeeming Scarlemange in “Sympathy for the Mandrill” and “All That Glitters.” This building trust eventually culminates in “Heroes on Fire” where Wolf has no weapon to fight with and she actually asks Dave for help, which was a small thing but made me pause the episode to appreciate how far Wolf had come.

In Season 3, Wolf gets a new weapon to replace Stalky, which I choose to take as an indication of how Wolf changes in this season. Her new rope dart not only compensates for all the disadvantages she had when fighting Emelia (reach, contests of brute strength, etc.) but also has non combative uses as well (ie restraining people and climbing). However, one of the biggest differences is the fact that it is often out of sight and not always in her hand. This both symbolically and literally shows that Wolf drawing her weapon to fight is a choice now that Kipo can turn full Mega and all of these properties of her new weapon are shown in “A Wolf in Wolf’s Clothing” where she makes the conscious choice to stop fighting Margot and helping her instead. When she chooses to do this, she does it because of how being around Kipo has influenced her and made her more willing to make peace with people instead of fighting them. Unfortunately Wolf does not, in my opinion, get enough screen time in Season 3, but we do see little instances where she chooses to do things the Kipo way such as getting the other HMUFA members to set traps for the invading humans instead of waging an all out war in “It’s a Trap” and stopping Kipo from sinking Emelia’s ship in “Requiem for a Dave.” She even agrees to do Prahm Kipo’s way as a genuine party instead of using it to kill Emelia, which was particularly cool to see because it took her some time to overcome her desire to protect Kipo and actually let her take this risk, but not only because she knows that Kipo can defend herself if worse comes to worst, but because she understands that it’s the right thing to do. She not only comes around to supporting Kipo, but gets Scarlemange to do so too and even prevents him from mind controlling people again, not because Kipo said so, but because she understands that it’s morally wrong. Everything then culminates for Wolf’s development in the show when she takes off her wolf skin and symbolically letting go of her old worldview for good in the name of peace and cooperation and then stops fighting Greta in “Age of the Wonderbeasts” to convince her to break free from Emelia and her manipulation.

And I think that this is a beautiful ending for Wolf’s arc. Not everything was wrapped up neatly for her, but she’s gotten to a point now where she can heal and move forward from her past to find an identity for herself within a community, and while we don’t know who she will eventually become, I think it really works because it shows us that we don’t need to know where we want to end up as people, but that just being around the right people will, by it’s very nature, change us and that this type of growth is possible for anyone. And I think KATAOW nails this in the subtlety of Wolf’s growth and that it just emerges because she spent so much time with Kipo.

Anyways. This was a lot longer of a post than I intended to write, so if you’ve made it this far, thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

[tim-han-reviews]

Tim Han Success Insider: Maintaining a positive self-image can feel difficult, but it's the most important thing to building healthy self-esteem. Trust in yourself and soon it will become easy. ✨

Maintaining a positive self-image can feel like a monumental task. We often allow our societal perceptions, past failures, and harsh self-judgment to cloud our own view of ourselves. But here's the kicker - the way you perceive yourself is a significant key to unlocking your full potential. Believe me, I get it. It's easy to succumb to self-doubts. But trust in yourself, pay attention to your positive attributes, and soon, enhancing your self-image will become second nature.

I want you to think back to the time when you faced a hurdle, a challenge that seemed insurmountable. When thoughts of weaknesses engulfed you, how did you rise against the tide? It's these reflections that lay the bricks on the pathway to a robust self-image.

I've been there, entrenched in self-doubt, struggling with my perception of self. I'm Tim Han, just a regular guy who stumbled upon the infinite power of self-belief. I often look back to one of my early role models, a gentleman at the helm of a successful global company, a model of well-balanced self-esteem. How come? Because he believed he could. He weathered storms with self-belief intact and emerged victorious. He knew his worth, and that, for me, demonstrated the power of a positive self-image.

But how do we create this positive self-image? Let's dive right into it, my friend. We've all heard the old adage, 'fake it till you make it'. While it might sound like a cliche, there's much truth in that. Keep projecting a more positive image until it ingrains into your reality. An astonishing change begins to occur when our external image starts aligning with our internal beliefs about ourselves. And that's the moment when we begin to alter our reality positively. It's not always easy, but then again, nothing of value ever is.

Your journey to a positive self-image just took off. But we need travel companions, right? And in our scenario, these come in the form of positive affirmations. Try this. Stand in front of a mirror, gaze into your own eyes, and assertively say, "I trust myself." Repeat it. Feel every word sinking deep within, then watch your self-image start reflecting more confidence. With every repetition, you're conditioning your subconscious mind, strengthening your self-belief. The process might feel silly at first, but in doing so, you'll notice changes, some subtle, others profound. Trust me on this.

Embrace a habit of self-reflection. Start journaling your experiences, your moments of growth, your personal achievements, and trust me, there will be plenty. Creating this tangible record of progress will serve as your personal beacon in times of self-doubt or discouragement. You'll see how far you've come, and it will bolster your resolve to go even further.

Keep seeing yourself in a positive light regardless of the circumstances. Keep moving toward your goals, despite the challenges. Keep trusting in your abilities, despite the setbacks. Let failures not diminish your self-worth, but instead fuel your determination to succeed.

You see, every journey starts with a single step. Every transformation begins with a spark of belief. Spark that belief in yourself right now; ignite the journey towards a positive self-image. Because the minute you start seeing the worth in yourself; you'll cease to be affected by the opinions of others.

Creating and maintaining a positive self-image requires consistent effort. It's a continuous journey of self-discovery and self-love, but it's the most rewarding one you'll ever embark upon. There's a potent force waiting to be unlocked within you, an inner power that stems from a healthy self-image. It's about not just seeing your potential, but living it, embracing it, and unleashing it.

Imagine your life when you've built a robust self-esteem. Imagine the heights you can reach when self-doubt is replaced with self-belief. Imagine the freedom you will experience when you genuinely trust in yourself. It starts right here, right now, with you choosing to embrace a positive self-image.

Who are you not to be brilliant, talented, and fabulous?Have courage. Stand tall. Wear your self-image like an armour and shine. Trust yourself today, my friend, and watch your life transform in unimaginable ways - because at the end of the day, what you think about yourself is what truly matters.

[half-filled-inkpot]

Go Stream Your Name Engraved Herein NOW

I’m tired of people dismissing the depth and beauty of works because they don’t understand the cultural and historical context and are unwilling to delve deeper. I’ve heard the vocal confusion and dismissal of the short film Bao and the complaints that the Mahjong scene in Crazy Rich Asians was too long and too difficult to understand for people who’ve never played Mahjong. But I won’t let this mentality negatively frame the reception of Your Name Engraved Herein. I’ve read too many interpretations of the movie that will influence how many people will watch it and hinder appreciation for it and I cannot sit idly by. So here’s why I appreciated and loved Your Name Engraved Herein and think that what other people interpreted as shortcomings are actually in fact strengths. 

In 2019, Taiwan approved same-sex marriage, marking a step of progress in Asia. Reviews of the film Your Name Engraved Herein view that this forward direction should be celebrated more throughout the film, believing that the heavy mood and painful scenes of bigotry hindered the potential of the film. Many have thought that the toxic values of the past dominated the film’s atmosphere, casting a somber mood and making it difficult to stomach. But I think these elements were essential in reminding us that not everyone had the opportunity to love openly and celebrate, and although Taiwan has made progress, what about those that grew up under a time where such rights were denied? 

I think the film is an intimate and beautiful homage to the people who lived through such a difficult time and had to fight for such rights--the director’s own experiences, the reference to activist Chi Chia-wei. Despite the tough topics and the painful bullying that we see, I think the film ends with beautiful light and hope. 

Spoilers ahead

Where critically acclaimed and famous Taiwanese films like Us and Them and You Are the Apple of My Eye use flashbacks to create an air of nostalgia and to remind us that maybe all we have to share is our past, untouchable memories, Your Name Engraved Herein uses flashbacks and time leaps to instead paint a more hopeful future. Their first love was an epic story. It’s painful realizing that they never got the same privilege as so many of us to have a happy family or spend life together, growing old. But where the protagonists in Us and Them and You Are the Apple of My Eye only have the past, our Jia-Han and Birdy have the future for the taking. Jia-Han’s younger self once held reservation and denial but he has instead transformed into one willing to accept his love and act on it, searching for Birdy despite the years. Despite the time and distance, they still share the same lively and youthful banter. While one may interpret the ending scene of what could’ve been and what they were cheated of, I like to think of it as a reunion instead. They are finally able to return to maybe the most tumultuous but also happiest time of their life. Now, with the recent change in Taiwan, they finally have a chance to make more memories together. 

I loved the framing of the story and think it demanded audience engagement. The movie opens with Jia-Han meeting Birdy. We then see that Jia-Han is reminiscing about his story with Birdy to the priest from Montreal that works at the Catholic all-boy’s boarding school. Immediately, Jia-Han’s and Birdy’s connection is apparent. They have furtive glances, genuine concern, and intimate moments. Birdy at first seems free-spirited, without fear of the opinions of others and authority. He’s vocal, righteous, and a bit rebellious. Jia-Han, in contrast, is more timid, constantly aware of the opinions of others and the rules. While he knows what is wrong and feels bad about it, he often follows or acts as a complacent party. But as Birdy and Jia-Han witness the detaining of activist Chi Chia-wei, we see that Birdy is more introspective and serious, unable to turn a blind-eye of the issues still prevalent despite the recent end of martial law in Taiwan. And Jia-Han, in the presence of Birdy, is more carefree and happy. It’s as if they have switched and turned off their outside persona. Birdy’s impulsivity gives Jia-Han joy and only Jia-Han’s presence can qualm Birdy’s inner thoughts and worries. We get to see how these characters deeply value each other. As the evening sets and the world around falls to slumber, it feels as if they are the only ones in the world and we, as viewers, are fully immersed in their story. The cinematography is halting as we see them zoom around in the city alone, untouched and in their own worlds. 

Jia-Han feels as if the world revolved only around them. So when Ban-Ban walks into the picture, I was awed by Jia-Han’s portrayal of jealousy and felt his pain because he was unable to walk by the side of Birdy in the way that he wanted to. The actor’s body language sells a stellar performance, but it is the dialogue and outburst at the father who is attempting to tend to Jia-Han’s wounds that show Jia-Han’s raw and powerful emotions. Whether or not it was intentional by the director, I think at this moment we question the timeline and framing of the story. What events led up to this moment with Jia-Han’s major head wound? When the priest says “If he doesn’t love you, don’t force him to” and “care doesn’t necessarily mean love,” I was stunned by this exchange, thinking that it was quite evident that Birdy and Jia-Han had love for each other. But then it made me ponder if this narrative told only from Jia-Han’s point of view was a deliberate choice made for us to question perspective and reality, how our vision becomes tainted when our feelings are involved. The powerful performance and film raised such immediate questions, causing wonder as we viewed the film in real time instead of afterwards, which made for a delightful and thought-provoking experience. 

In a truly climatic point, we finally see how all of the events led to the current moment. We see how Jia-Han gets a head injury and how the priest becomes his confidant. This pivotal mark not only has an approximately two hour momentum, but it is also powerfully performed by our two leads who at this point are passionate, protective, and broken-hearted. We witness a full range of love. Initially, at the beginning, we saw subtle and restrained affection, fleeting touches, and silent companionship. But as the story progresses, we see that these feelings can no longer be bottled. There are moments of visible and passionate concern and instinctual attempts at protection. This development shows the complexity, beauty, and pain of love. It is truly a breath-taking thing to see come alive on screen. While Jia-Han at this point becomes ready to vocalize and admit his feelings, Birdy is unable to and their lives diverge. 

A time leap gives us privy to Jia-Han’s closure. After he visits the resting grounds of the priest from his high-school days, he is able to offer his support to who is hinted to be the priest’s lover, reassuring that he was a good man, that the love was true, and that he will go to heaven. The reveal that the priest is gay encourages viewers to rewatch the dialogue with this new information to help drive our new interpretations. 

Already, I have re-watched this tear-jerking film a number of times. The steady pacing makes each scene seem essential despite the long 1 hour and 54 minute run time. Yet it passes quickly and we are left yearning for more. Aesthetically pleasing, the beautiful shots underscored by the accompanying, swelling music provide stunning visuals. As the camera focuses on the two leads, their outbursts don’t appear as overly done or too dramatic. Rather, the performances feel heart-breakingly real. In part, I think this is built on the focus on the details. The camera seems to linger a little longer on the faces of the actors, making us fully digest what they are conveying to us. This attention to detail highlights everything spoken and unspoken. 

I highly recommend this film. It reminds us that not everyone is fortunate and we all still have room for progress. But simultaneously it is tender and heart-warming, moving and touching, poignant and thoughtful. The powerful dynamic between the leads, the artistic filming, and the strong performance elevate this film to a truly inspiring, epic love story. Everything about it feels deliberate, personal and handcrafted gift for us to truly treasure. So I will cherish it and share it and I hope you do too.

[scapegrace74-blog]

New Ways of Turning into Stone, Chapter 3

A/N As promised, Jamie returns in this chapter.  He has an appointment to keep, after all.   Because I can’t think of anything more creative, this chapter is entitled “Second Appointment”.  For previous chapters, your best bet is to check out the story on my AO3 page.

The week both crept and flew past, like one of those dreams in which she ran until her lungs burned, but never managed to get anywhere.  Kinetic motion trapped in amber.   Claire never did tell Geillis about her excursion to Corstorphine Hill over the weekend, embarrassed by how it had ended.  

And now it was Thursday.  She’d opted for a protein smoothie for lunch, a meal with no chance of leaving leafy residue between her teeth.  It was likely wasted vanity.  As two o’clock drew near, she bargained with herself to abandon any hope she may be harbouring.  Jamie Fraser had shown no interest in participating in the psychiatric process during his first appointment.  Fraternal obligation had brought him to her office once, but he didn’t strike her as a man who yielded the reins of his life easily.  It wasn’t likely he would return.

When it came his distinctive knock, crisp and insistent, caught her unawares, even though she’d just been staring at his name in her planner.  She hastily pushed the items on her desk to one side, patted uselessly at her curls, and called out for him to enter.

“Good afternoon, Doctor Beauchamp,” he greeted cautiously.  “Miss Duncan told me tae come straight in.”

There was something different about him today.  His clothing, certainly.  Instead of casual wear, he wore trousers and a button down, wet splotches over the shoulders attesting to the fact that it had begun raining again.  And while he still took up an inordinate amount of space in her small office, he seemed... diminished, somehow.  A paler echo of the fireworks display of his first visit.

“Of course.  Please have a seat, Mister Fraser.”

“Jamie, if you will,” he corrected as he settled gingerly into the armchair.  “Mister Fraser was my Da.”

Something about his tone and the fact his laser blue eyes wouldn’t meet her own as he spoke the words caused her to lean into his statement.

“Did your father pass away recently, Jamie?”

A moment, an indrawn breath of panic, and then it was cleverly masked with a wry glance.

“Aye, last year.  An’ yer no’ very subtle, doctor.”

“I didn’t realize subtlety was called for,” she parried.  “You made another appointment, and I specialize in grief counselling.  Why else would you be here?”

Despite the fact that it wasn’t productive from a psychiatric point of view, she enjoyed his reluctance to hastily expose his inner demons.  Too often, her practice required her to work carefully in order to avoid shaping the pliable emotions of her patients.  While obviously hurting, Jamie had an unflinching, unalterable quality that she admired.  Not to mention that the intellectual game of cat and mouse they were playing was wildly stimulating.

“I suppose I enjoyed our conversation,” Jamie teased.  “An’ Miss Duncan’s shortbread.”

With an awkward squint that she imagined was meant to be a wink, her patient rose to investigate the current offerings on her tea table.

“Och, petit fours!” he exclaimed with childlike glee and perfect French pronunciation.  “There was a café none too far from my flat in Paris tha’ made these.  I’d often grab some on my way tae the office.”

He returned to the desk with a small plate of the pastries, pushing it towards her as he settled into his seat.

“No, thank you.  I’ve just eaten.”

Like a searchlight, his bright eyes didn’t miss much.  He glanced significantly at the half-empty plastic smoothie container to one side of her desk.  Rather than chide her for her austerity, as Geillis frequently did, he instead made a show of biting into each of the four little squares until there was nothing left but crumbs.  Her stomach muttered in complaint.

“What did you do in Paris?” she asked as he finished his snack with a contented sigh.

“Oh, a wee bit of this and that,” he demurred.  In response to her exasperated look, he continued, “I started out at the Bourse.  Futures, options, arbitrage, that sort of thing.  I have a good ear fer languages, sae from there I went into foreign exchange.  Import export, and the like.”

“You’re a financier?” she asked, somewhat more incredulous than she ought to be.  She wasn’t certain what she had pictured James Fraser doing for a living, but greasing the wheels of capitalism definitely wasn’t it.

“Was,” he corrected.  “I quit an’ came home tae Scotland last year.”

“When your father died,” she guessed.

“Aye.”

She once again had the sense of standing in front of a locked door that Jamie had no intention of opening.  Rather than hammer uselessly on its stubborn surface, she nimbly diverted the conversation sideways.

“What do you do for work now?”

A slow blink followed by a dawning smile indicated he was aware of her stratagem.

“I’m a carpenter.”

It was rare for Claire to be truly surprised by people.  She made a living reading their unspoken cues.  Twice in the same conversation was unheard of.

“A carpenter?” she repeated as though she hadn’t heard him perfectly well the first time.

“Aye.  Like Jesus, ye ken?”

With a quicksilver grin, Jamie launched into a description of his current occupation, which involved the making of reproduction antiques and custom pieces for clients around Scotland.  She realized with a start that she’d read an article about his business in a popular local magazine.  

International financier.  Self-made entrepreneur.  Tall drink of water.  James Fraser had a lot of things going for him.  And yet here he sat, paying her by the hour to listen to him avoid talking about whatever hardship had befallen him.

She mentally composed a list of the topics he was deftly avoiding with his charming anecdotes.  His father’s recent death.  The reason behind a radical change in career.  Living in the city on account of unspoken ‘family obligations’, even though his verbal reminiscence of the Highlands was so poetic it damn near made her cry.  There was something raw just below the surface of his nonchalance, and her innate curiosity cried out to find out what it was.

“You told me last week that your sister, Jenny, insisted you attend counselling.  But you said that you’re handling matters fine on your own.  Can you tell me why your sister believes otherwise?”

It might have been amusing to see such a large man squirm in different circumstances.  His left hand furrowed through his hair, setting the autumn waves on end.  His mouth, so recently relaxed and mobile as he eagerly shared the details of his craft, froze in a pained frown.  She considered whether she had pushed too hard too soon.

“I gave a lot of thought tae what ye said when we parted last week,” Jamie began at last.  “Tae be honest, it haunted me.  Jen kens me better than anyone, an’ while I like tae complain tha’ she meddles where she doesna belong, the truth is she’s truly scared fer me.  An’ even if I dinna agree tha’ my lifestyle is cause fer concern, I owe it tae her tae try tae sort myself out.  I owe her far more than that,” he finished with a rueful shake of his head.

“What kind of lifestyle has your sister so worried?” she probed.

“Whisky, women and song,” he quipped, before adding, “Weel, I canna carry a tune, but twa out of three isna half bad.”

He tried to smile away the awkward tension that descended on the office, the air ripe with unspoken words.  Claire felt disappointment whirlpool in her gut.  Just another charming rake, after all.  It really shouldn’t matter, and yet somehow it did.  More than she dared to admit.

“Yes, well, the road of excess leads to the palace of consequences, ” she sniffed at last, angry at herself for sounding like a schoolmarm.  What a bore she must seem to him, with her regimented behaviour and rigid morals.

Jamie rose abruptly, and for a half-second she imagined he might lunge at her, or storm from the room.   Instead, he spun around to face the door.  Without a word, he untucked his shirt and began to expose his lower back.

Claire was momentarily stunned silent.  Just as she managed to draw a deep enough breath to censure Jamie for his highly inappropriate strip tease, the golden velour of his lower back transformed without warning into a furrowed landscape of scar tissue, ripples and craters left by some massive trauma.  The air left her lungs on a questioning sigh.

“I ken all about consequences, Doctor Beauchamp,” he stated.  “I live with them every moment of my life.”

Her fingers found the knotted skin, surprisingly warm and mobile beneath her touch.  A shiver shimmered over the unmarred muscle of his flanks.

Before she could find any appropriate words of apology, the office door opened and Geillis stuck her head in.  She barked a cough upon seeing Jamie’s state of undress and Claire’s position, leaning across her desk.  Doctor and patient jumped apart like opposing magnets.

“Sae sorry for the interruption, but yer three o’clock is here.  Should I tell her ye’ve been... delayed?”

Jamie muttered an obscenity under his breath which Claire whole-heartedly seconded.  There was no way Geillis wasn’t going to be utterly insufferable about this.

“Mister Fraser was just leaving, Geillis.”

With a lewd wink and a nod, the door closed.

“Look, Jamie...” she began just as he apologized.  “I’m sae sorry, lass.”

They both laughed nervously.  Jamie finished tucking his shirt into his pants and turned to face the desk.

“I hope this willna cause ye any difficulties with Miss Duncan,” he began, eyes wide with concern.

“No more so than usual,” she sighed. “Geillis is a good friend.  She just... doesn’t know when to quit, sometimes,” she explained.

“Sounds jus’ like my sister.  Perhaps we should introduce them.”

She smiled, struggling to find something else to say to move past the moment.  She could hear Geillis and her next patient conversing just outside the door.  There was no time left for subtlety.

“Will I see you again next week, Jamie?” she asked, giving up on finding a more oblique way of phrasing the question that was reverberating through her mind.

Jamie’s bashful smile dipped towards the floor, causing his hair to fall in front of his eyes.

“Aye.  I’ll even keep my clothes on, if ye ask nicely.”

It was that smile, that hair, those eyes, that carried her through the rest of her week, aloft on the anticipation of something utterly forbidden.

[the-himawari]

A3! 4th Anniversary Book [AIR] Translation - Q&A

This is the familiar Q&A project from the Anniversary Book series!

We asked about interesting points from the main and backstage stories.

*Please read disclaimer on blog

---

Q: What kind of school is Fuyou University, which Masumi and Madoka attend?

A: It’s a famous, private university with a standard score of 70 or above. It has affiliated hospitals and schools, and it has a strong image of being attended by well-known and wealthy people. Incidentally, Tsumugi and Tasuku are uni alumni, and Kazunari attended the attached junior high.

Q: Please tell us about Tenma and Hiro’s recent entertainment activities.

A: Tenma entered the top ranks of the popularity ranking in the youth category and his number of commercial jobs increased. As for Hiro, his offers from overseas began to increase, and he is currently training hard in English. It seems there are many voices calling out for a Tenma & Hiro tag-team, taking advantage of the opportunity from the Act-off and special drama where they co-starred together.

Q: Please tell us about the Japanese culture that’s mainstream in Zafra.

A: In addition to classic games, anime, and sushi, character mascots are also a famous genre. Rumour has it that a certain prince is preparing for a competition to create a mascot character for the king…

Q: Please tell us about the interactions between the first generation leaders and the new members, and also what changes they brought about that the dorm. A: It’s not that frequent, but it seems the adult group sometimes meets up and drinks together at Guy’s bar. Also, when they found out Syu was paying the dorm’s utility bills, some people began saving more than before, while on the other hand, some people were less reserved…

Q: What kind of shows can you watch at Zen’s show restaurant?

A: They’re mainly dance performances by dancers, but there are also magic shows and musical performances by jazz bands. He often pulls in many unknown, but excellent performers, and quite a few people have spread their wings from there.

Q: Please let us know how Azami feels after using the cosmetics he brought from Zafra.

A: “The eyeshadow was by far the best. The fine texture was soft, and most importantly, the pigmentation was top tier. There were lots of flashy colours, but I think there were also a bunch of subtle glitter and sheer shades that are surprisingly easy to use. I also feel like the primers ain’t bad. They’re rich in beauty treatment ingredients so they don’t damage your skin much and—(rest is omitted)”, is what he said.

Q: What type of work was “Robot Ranger” that Tasuku liked when he was young?

A: It is a science fiction work where the main character, who aims to be the best engineer in the universe, uses the transformation device he developed to fight against evil, extra-terrestrial monsters with his friends. Although it received high ratings from adults since the contents were quite elaborate, the amount of toys sold was somewhat lacking since children couldn’t keep up. It has a rather peculiar position within the series.

Q: Please tell us what kind of plays Syu usually performs?

A: Basically, the first part is a play, and the second part is a dance show. Many of the plays are historical plays based off of Kabukis. A singing show is also incorporated sometimes, so if you’re lucky, you might be able to hear Syu’s singing voice…?

Q: Please tell us if there were any settings that weren’t revealed for A7!, which was held for April Fool’s.

A: Actually, there are 4 animals: The hamster Kasumi, the cheetah Hiro, the black panther Zen, and the wolf Syu. They’re retired nowadays, so they rarely appear.

Q: Please tell us about the bar that Guy is running.

A: It’s still a shop that’s only well-know to those in the know, but it’s gaining popularity from office workers (both men and women) on their way home, as they feel soothed by Guy’s composed aura and slightly air-headed personality. Of course, the alcohol and food also have a good reputation.

Q: If Yuki and Kazunari have come up with nicknames for the first gen. leaders, please secretly let us know.

A: Kasumi was given the nicknames, “fairy tale uncle” and “Kasuminu” that he asked for himself. Kazunari seems to be thinking of nicknames for the other three but he says, “I’m still shrinking the distance between our hearts right now~”. Please anticipate Kazunari’s communication power.

Q: Stew was a standard on the menu for the first generation MANKAI Company, but what kind of stew did they have? Just like the current Company’s standard of curry, did they have a menu of different arrangements?

A: There were all kinds of stew like pumpkin stew, soymilk stew, corn stew, etc. that were served by Zen, but Yukio’s favourite was the classic cream stew. By the way, Yukio’s reaction when he said “stew” and was served beef stew is still a topic of conversation at drinking parties to this day.

Q: The number of Theatre members who have a driver’s license has increased, but has there been a change in their driving or shopping situations?

A: There hasn’t been a drastic change, but Banri gets called out to pick up and send his older sister, and Taichi seems to be steadily improving his driving skills by travelling to the neighbouring city’s supermarket sales during the evening when there’s not much traffic.

Q: The members held a training camp in Zafra as a cultural exchange, but please tell us if afterwards, there is a popular cultural trend, or Zafran words that the members use between them?

A: Zafran board games are still as popular as ever, and whenever a new product is released, they’re imported regularly and are highly sought after by the members. Also, since the Zafra training camp, seasonings made from kneading various chili peppers and spices with oil are popular too, and they are also sent over regularly from Zafra.

Q: The impression of Isuke when he just came to the dorm was told from Zen’s point-of-view, but please tell us about the first impression of Isuke from the other 3 leaders’ perspectives.

A: All of them unanimously thought, “he looks clumsy.”

---

[cherry-valentine]

Spring 2021 Anime Season

Mars Red is one of two series this season set in one of my favorite periods, the Meiji era. It’s a vampire series that deals a lot with the politics of war as the Japanese military is attempting to establish a vampire unit, supposedly to compete with the British vampire unit (because of course that’s a thing). It focuses on a human military officer named Maeda who is charged with recruiting and managing vampires. Maeda is the type of character I really enjoy. Handsome, a little older than most anime protagonists, chain-smoking, overly serious, and voiced by Junichi Suwabe (who has to have the sexiest voice in all of anime). The series has a classic, romantic feel to it. Its take on vampires is somewhat traditional (they evaporate in the sun, drink blood, sleep in coffins, have super strength and speed, etc.). If it brings anything new to the table, it’s the concept of vampires having different ranks, from S-class down, and how lower ranks naturally fear higher ranks. Still yet, the classic vibe works in the show’s favor. Combined with the historical setting, it gives the show a certain charm. The art is lovely, from the backgrounds to the character designs, and the music is a high point. It easily has the best ending theme of the season.

Fumetsu no Anata e (To Your Eternity) is a unique series. I’ve seen a lot of people comparing it to Mushishi, but with an overarching plot, and that assessment is pretty accurate. The show follows an entity that comes to be known as Fushi. It begins as an orb, and as it makes contact with other objects and creatures, it learns from them and can possibly take their forms. Among the forms it most often takes are a white wolf and a young man. Originally, it’s a somewhat empty shell, incapable of communicating, but as it meets different creatures and learns, it develops a personality and begins to speak. The series is, overall, about Fushi’s journey through this world and all the experiences it gains, both wonderful and tragic. There’s a subtle beauty to the series, with an early focus on nature, but it also has scenes of trauma and violence. The animation is fluid and the facial expressions are amazing. There’s an overall natural feel to it that, like others have pointed out, reminds me of Mushishi (though it’s definitely faster paced than Mushishi). The show also likes to make you cry, so keep that in mind.

Joran: The Princess of Snow and Blood is the other series set in the Meiji era this season, albeit an alternate version of it that has a strange form of technology. To be honest, I’m a little fuzzy on some of the details, but it seems to be about a group called the Nue who work for the government to fight against a growing rebellion. The main character is Sawa, a member of Nue who has some sort of special powers involving her blood, which allow her to transform and battle monsters, or whatever else stands in her way. Her goal is to get revenge for the death of her entire clan (implied to be wiped out because of their power). Sawa is a decent heroine, a woman who craves vengeance and is determined to get it through any means, but is, at her core, a compassionate person who would rather live in peace. It’s this internal conflict that makes Sawa compelling (even if it’s not entirely original). The other characters are interesting, particularly Tsuki, whom I won’t talk much about because it would involve spoilers. The plot and details can get a little convoluted, but the action and animation are solid. When Sawa transforms, the art style changes, and it’s a really cool visual effect. The music is also nice.

Shaman King received a remake this season. I was a huge fan of the original, and so far I’m enjoying the remake, but to be honest, I’m having trouble seeing the point. The art is almost the same (just a lot shinier), the voice actors are the same, the plot is the same. Maybe it’s just that it’s been so long since I saw the original, I’m unable to remember the details and so I can’t tell what’s different. But to me it feels like I’m just rewatching the show. Which is fine, because I loved it to begin with. Maybe it gets different later on. Maybe it more closely follows the manga. I’ll keep watching to find out. For anyone new to the series, it looks like the remake is a solid place to start if you want to get into it. I won’t go into plot details for a story this old, so I’ll just say it’s a top tier shounen fighting series with a unique art style and some very memorable characters. If you like that sort of thing, and missed the original (or you just want a refresher), definitely check it out!

Godzilla Singular Point is a true delight. I’m a huge Godzilla (and kaiju in general) fan. I’ve watched every single Godzilla movie, as well as all the related movies (the Mothra films, Rodan, etc.), but I never watched the previous Godzilla anime that was on Netflix a few years ago. It just didn’t sound like something I’d like. Singular Point, however, is right up my alley. Set mainly in a small seaside town that’s suddenly attacked by bird-like monsters known as Rodans, we have two geeky protagonists using their intelligence to figure out what’s going on while more and more monsters appear. Mei and Yun are excellent heroes. They rely on their wits rather than physical strength, which is a refreshing approach. It’s also interesting that they have little to no face-to-face interaction. Instead, they chat with each other via text as they work separately. They often challenge each other with science questions. It’s adorable. The show’s overall feel is fairly upbeat and energetic. The colorful art and peppy character designs by Kazue Kato (who did Blue Exorcist) help with this feel. It should be noted that Godzilla himself doesn’t fully appear until halfway through the series. It says a lot about the quality of the show that I don’t actually mind that at all. Some of the science stuff does go over my head, but the general plot is easy enough to follow and the action is very well done. It also has fantastic music, with my favorite opening theme of the season. Even if Godzilla isn’t your thing, consider giving this series a shot if you like nerdy science types as heroes.

Burning Kabaddi is a sports anime about an unsual sport. I’d never heard of it before now, and if people in the comments were not talking about the very real sport, I would have assumed it was made up for the anime. The show is aware that the sport is obscure, so it takes great pains to explain the rules and details so that we can all follow the action. The story centers on Yoigoshi, a soccer prodigy who decides to drop all sports once he gets to high school due to all the drama and angst that surrounded him (mostly due to his teammates being jealous of his talent), and pursue a career as a streamer. All the various sports clubs at the school want to recruit him (especially the soccer club, of course) because they’ve heard of his skill and he has an athletic build. He rejects them all, but the Kabaddi club is strangely relentless. He ends up being manipulated into joining (the vice captain of the team straight up blackmails him by threatening to show his online streaming account to the whole school). Despite this rocky beginning, Yoigoshi actually starts to enjoy playing Kabaddi, and more importantly, begins to bond with his new teammates. It’s pretty fun stuff that doesn’t take itself too seriously. The art is serviceable for a sports anime and the music is fine. The series isn’t going to blow your mind, but it’s a fun way to spend twenty minutes every week. Worth a watch if you have a weakness for hot blooded sports anime.

The World Ends With You finally got its anime adaptation and I was so excited. The game is one of my all-time favorites. So far the anime is pretty good. The art is a near perfect replication of the bold, thick-lined art of the game. The battles are exciting and cool. Best of all, the anime often uses music from the game. This is important because the game has one of the best soundtracks, ever. Every time I recognize a song from the game, I almost squeal. If I had a complaint, it’s that the pacing feels a little off at times. It feels like the anime is rushing through the story, but that’s understandable. In the game, it took longer for everything to happen because you were walking from place to place, fighting battles along the way, stopping to scan NPC’s, shopping at stores, spending time in menus, etc. The anime has to cut most of that out, so naturally things are going to move faster. The result is that you don’t get to spend as much time with these characters, and so you feel less attached to them. Anyone watching the anime who didn’t play the game might feel like the emotional beats are lacking. I feel like this anime is definitely meant to be enjoyed by fans of the game, rather than newcomers to the story. But if you are a fan of the game? You should be watching this every week. It’s an excellent refresher on the story, just in time for the second game to come out this summer. Super high on my watch list.

Boku no Hero Academia has a new season. To be honest I don’t remember what number we’re on. This season, so far, focuses on a tournament-style competition between the two main hero classes. I would much prefer the plot to move on to something more exciting involving the villains, but I suppose they have to throw arcs like this in every so often just to remind everyone of which characters have which quirks. The plus point is that instead of being an individual competition, it’s team-based. What this ultimately means is that characters that are viewed as weaker or having more obscure quirks actually get a chance to shine. These are characters who definitely aren’t going to win one-on-one battles. In an individual tournament, it’s pretty much a given that characters like Deku, Bakugou, and Todoroki are going to win most of the matches. But in a team, everyone has to work together. The end result is that the lady characters, all of whom have fairly weak or situational quirks, finally FINALLY get to actually do stuff! Even better, in several of the match-ups, the girls have taken the lead in planning and strategizing. It’s been pretty nice to watch. The girls from the other class have been very proactive as well. I really wish the girls could do more in “real” battles with villains, since it’s clear that they can step up when they need to. Who knows? Maybe this is a sign of good things to come.

86 is a new mecha/sci-fi anime based on a series of light novels. The setup is fairly cool: In a country where everyone has silver hair and eyes, the people live in what looks like a utopia. There is a war going on outside their protected land but all combat is performed by automated robots, so there are no human casualties... or so the government would have the people believe. In reality, there is a district that exists on the outskirts of the country called 86, where people who don’t have silver hair and eyes are sent to pilot the robots and fight to protect the country that shunned them. Most of the pilots are children or teenagers. The mortality rate is high. Only a few people in the government know of their existence, mostly military types that include “handlers”. These handlers each take on an 86 unit and communicate with them through a system called “para-raid”. Using this, they monitor the battlefield from their safe positions and issue commands. Naturally, most handlers view their units as nothing more than tools in the war, and most 86-ers view their handlers as privileged snobs who know nothing of actual battle. The real plot kicks in when Lena, a young Major, becomes the new handler for a particular 86 unit. Lena is sympathetic to the people of 86, but it’s going to be hard getting her notoriously rough unit to accept her. The plot is a bit complicated and the show deals with some weighty themes (racism, privilege, war, child soldiers, death). Lena is a likable enough heroine and the members of 86 are all interesting and fairly well written. The music is fine. The art... well, it’s pretty to look at, but it feels a bit generic to me. A bit too shiny. The mecha designs are great, but I’m not crazy about the character designs, which feel like they could be from any other modern anime. I also find it sad but hilarious at the same time that the women’s military uniforms are clearly designed for fanservice (they include mini skirts, thigh-highs with garters, and a short jacket that opens up just above the chest to show the tight shirt underneath) while the men’s uniforms are just totally normal military wear. To be honest it’s just too stupid to actually be offensive, so it comes across as comical. Thankfully, the interesting setup and plot carry the show, making it good enough to overlook the generic visuals.

Moriarty the Patriot has a new season... maybe? I think it’s technically still season one, but with a split cour. Regardless, it feels like a new season so I’m treating it as such. The series focuses on famous Sherlock antagonist Moriarty, here represented as a trio of handsome brothers (though one of them is clearly the protagonist and the leader of the group) who work as “crime consultants” and basically help the lower classes wage class warfare against the nobility. This season shifts the focus away from the individual crimes Moriarty concocts and instead focuses on larger-scale conflicts that involve government conspiracies, corrupt cops, etc. We’re also treated to a lady James Bond (finally!), fixing one of the very few complaints I had about the first cour (that it lacked strong lady characters). The show remains very compelling, with beautiful art and excellent new opening and ending themes.

Best of Season:

Best New Show: Godzilla Singular Point

Best Opening Theme: Godzilla Singular Point

Best Ending Theme: Mars Red

Best New Male Character: Maeda (Mars Red)

Best New Female Character: Sawa (Joran)

[albertasunrise]

No More - Chapter 4

Summary: Frankie has been your best friend since you were in the 2nd grade. You were each other’s first’s, he, your first love and as you’d both gotten older you always somehow fell into bed together after one too many drinks with the boys. You don’t know how much longer you can keep this up but fate has other plans for you both and events are set in motion to decide for you.

Warnings: Angst, Bitch Ex, Fluff

Pairings: Frankie/ Reader

~

Frankie’s recovery was slow. His physio was extensive after having to have his left leg reconstructed and it meant it took him some weeks to build up the muscle strength in it again. He was on a concoction of drugs, pain and antibiotics, after he’d had to have his kidney and his spleen removed. The Millers had temporarily moved in with Frankie to take care of him when he was let out of the hospital and you’d gone around almost every evening so that he could spend time with Emma. You’d been shocked how quickly he’d taken to becoming a father, desperate to do anything to help that was within his capabilities. As time went on and he was well on the way to recovery he started to take more and more on, relishing being able to feed her, bath her and sing her to sleep. Neither of you though discussed the situation between the two of you. He’d not pushed the subject again, despite how desperate he was to confess how he felt but he knew that he had to prove himself and so he started with Emma.

‘So... I wondered if you had any plans this weekend.’ He says suddenly, pulling you from your book.

‘What do you mean?’ You ask as you turn your head to look at him, smiling as he bounces his smiley daughter on his knee.

‘Well, the doc said it’s important for me to be moving around and walking about.’ He starts, pulling a face at Emma and making her giggle ‘The weather is supposed to be really good this weekend. Thought maybe we could take Emma to the zoo.’

It had been four months since the accident. Frankie was able to walk unaided now and had been taking regular walks, often to get Emma to sleep as she always dosed off in her pram after she ate. He had really thrown himself headfirst into fatherhood and you’d noticed. A few times you’d seen him crying as you left for the night, his shoulders shaking as he tried to fight back the tears as he watched you leave. He’d received a monumental payout from the accident. Turned out the guy who had hit him was a multimillionaire and had paid Frankie a massive fee not to take him to court. He’s sad down with you, asked you what you thought and you’d appreciated him doing that, ultimately telling him to take the deal.

‘Yeah, that sounds like a wonderful idea.’ You reply as you smile at your daughter, her arms waving in delight at the attention she's getting from her parents.

‘I wanted to show you something.’ He said as he pulled her against his chest and stood up, holding his hand out to help you to your feet.

‘What?’ You ask as he leads up up the stairs.

A sense of Deja Vu washes over you as you walk up the stairs of his childhood home, eyes scanning over the photos that hung on the wall and smiling at the ones of you and him as children, the ones of his parents and now taking pride of place, Emma. He stops beside the door that had once been your bedroom, pushing it open and motioning for you to look as he bounces the baby in his arms. You look at him suspiciously as you take ginger steps towards the doorway, eyes growing wide with what greets you. The room had been completely transformed. The walls had been painted a subtle pink and a whitewashed Crib sat proudly to the middle of the wall on your right with a changing table sat opposite that was painted in a similar finish. Piled neatly in the corner were several stuffed toys and sat underneath the window was a chest that you recognised. It had been yours when you were a kid and you’d moved it with you when Frankie’s parents had taken you in. It was unchanged, just lovingly restored and when you walked over to it and carefully lifted the lid you sobbed when you saw the toys you’d kept inside are still there.

‘Thought maybe you might want to give them to Emma.’ He states as he takes a step inside, smiling against Emma’s cheek as she rests her face against his lips.

You close the lid and continue to scan your surroundings, smiling at the artwork that hangs on the walls and the mobile above the cot.

‘Do you like it?’ He asks, a little nervous at your continued silence.

‘I love it.’ You reply as you finally look at him, your smile spreading from ear to ear ‘When did you do all this?’

‘Well, I had some time on my hands.’ He chuckles ‘The guys helped me with it but I wanted to get something together for her.’ You nod as you watch Emma look around ‘There’s one more thing.’

You give him a bemused look, following him out of the nursery and down the hall to what you knew to be the spare room. This room was also different although in more subtle ways. There was a desk set up in the corner that adorned a large monitor and other computing equipment and in the far corner stood a tall mirror with an elegant wardroom and dresser beside it.

‘What is this?’ You ask, turning your head to look at him.

‘It kills me every night when you take her.’ He starts, the pain evident in his expression ‘I thought maybe if you had somewhere you could sleep, that some nights she can stay here. I know that you’re not comfortable leaving her yet so this way you don’t have to. This way I can help with night feeds and breakfast time.’

‘Frankie-‘

‘Please. Before you say no. At least think about it.’ He begs ‘I’m not asking you to move in here or anything. I’m just asking you to give me a chance to help more. I’ve even set a desk up so that you can work here and I can take care of her during the day. I’m not going to be able to work for a while so why not be a stay at home dad. The payout means I’m financially sound for a while.’

‘Frankie. I wasn’t going to say no.’ You chuckle, taking a few ginger steps towards him ‘I think this is a great idea.’

‘You do?’

‘I do.’ You reply, smiling at the goofy grin that spreads across his face.

‘Great!.’

~

‘What do you think she’ll want to see first?’ Exclaims Frankie excitedly ‘I think the penguins!’

‘Frank she’s 4 months old.’ You giggle ‘She’ll probably poop and fall asleep.’

You can’t help but love how excited he is about this day trip. He was insistent on wearing the baby carrier so that he could show her call the animals. You’d been concerned that his leg might struggle but he said he was fine. So here you are, him with a giggly Emma strapped to his chest and you with the buggy, pushing around the armoury of items that babies apparently require.

‘Oh look the penguins are this way.’ He says, practically skipping and you can’t help but chuckle at his excitement.

Sure enough, Emma is mesmerised by them, watching them swim with comically wide eyes as her little hands wave around as if desperately trying to pet them. The two of you coo at her as she laughs and wiggles with glee as one penguin seems to take a particular interest in her, smiling when she squeals at him waving his wing at her.

‘I think you made a new friend baby girl.’ He says sweetly as he places a kiss on the top of her head.

‘You have got to be kidding me.’ Comes a voice, pulling you both out of your family moment.

You and Frankie turn to see Emily stood across from you, arms crossed and her face red with rage.

‘So her brat is yours then?’ She spits, venom dripping from every word.

‘Emily-‘

‘This is hilarious. You cheat on me with her and knock her up in the process.’ She scoffs, eyeing Emma angrily ‘Poor kid. Having a dad like you.’

‘Don’t you dare speak to him like that!’ You growl, taking a step forward ‘He’s an amazing father to Emma. He went through hell four months ago but despite that he has gone over and above to show her how loved she is.’

‘Hell huh?’ She tuts as she tilts her head to the side ‘Fall of the bandwagon again did you Fish?'

‘His car got t-boned and he almost died actually.’ You state, taking pleasure in the shock that spreads across her face. ‘Lost a kidney and his spleen. Had to have his leg reconstructed and went through months of painful physio so that he could walk again and yet he still bathed her, fed her. Despite the pain, he was in. So he’s an incredible father and I’m just glad I was able to give him the chance to prove that…’

'Unlike you’

The guilt that flooded her features only inflated the satisfaction you feel in taking her down a peg. You could see her brain working, trying to find a comeback but struggling.

‘Why she so small?’ She finally says ‘You get on it whilst knocked up?’

‘I was in the car with him.’ You growl ‘Accident brought on an early labour and she ended up being a month premature.’

Her face paled at your statement but you felt no satisfaction now. She’d brought your daughter into this feud. She’d made it personal. She stood there for a moment, mouth opening and closing as she thought of what to say but in the end, she turned around and practically sprinted out of view, leaving you seething in silence.

‘You okay?’ Frankie asks finally as he places a friendly hand on your arm.

‘Yeah.’ You reply as you turn and smile at him ‘Yeah I'm fine.’

‘Thank you.’ He says, and you give him a confused look ‘For sticking up for me. I really hope that I’ll be a good dad to Emma.’

‘Frankie I meant every word.’ You state, your expression serious ‘You are an amazing father to Emma. She’s so lucky to have you.’

You see his cheeks pink at that, giving you a little nod as he places another kiss on his daughters head in an attempt to hide his embarrassment.

‘Shall we go see the giraffes Bean?’ You ask as you stroke Emma’s cheek with your finger, giggling when she squeals in reply ‘Take that as a yes.’

‘Do you want to carry her for a bit?’ Asks Frankie as he watches you with her ‘I’ll push the pram.’

‘No, it's fine.’ You reply, smiling sweetly at him ‘I like watching you with her.’

Emma loved the giraffes even more. She wriggled like crazy as her hands grabbed at the docile creatures. One of the keepers had noticed her reaction and invited you over for snack time. You filmed on your phone whilst Frankie held his hand flat so the giraffe can eat the snack the zookeeper has given him and you desperately try to stifle your laugh when the creature's large blue tongue sloppily licks it out of his hand. Emma squeals with excitement at how close it had gotten but she quietened down when it lowered its head to inspect her, the keeper telling Frankie that it is okay to pet him. You couldn’t believe your eyes as you watch Emma, very gently, pet the giraffe's snout and you found yourself tearing up as your eyes lock with Frankie’s, the two of you amazed at how in tune she is with the creature. The keeper organised for the three of you to stop in on feeding time for a load of other animals, Frankie being particularly excited about the lions. You both stood there in awe of their majesty whilst Emma squeaks and squeals as she watches the cat pace in his cage ready for his food but she stops dead when one lioness starts to roar. The sound is so powerful it vibrates through you and you both look down at Emma, concerned that the sound will scare her. Instead, she is dead still, her eyes open as wide as they can go as she stares and the cat, her mouth slowly opening wider and wider. You both can't help but chuckle at her amazement and you share a loving glance sith each other, both in awe at how innocent she is.

Emma is fast asleep by the time you get back to the car and the two of you envy her. The day had proved to be an eventful one but one that you’d never forget. You’d Whatsapped the giraffe video to the boys and Benny had replied with several laughing emojis at Frankie's reaction.

New girlfriend Fish? He asked, and Will replied to that with a GIF of R2D2 falling flat on his face captioned DEAD.

Frankie just sent a middle finger emoji which elicited another flurry of amused responses.

‘Today was wonderful.’ You say sweetly as you buckle yourself in ‘Thank’s for suggesting it.’

‘I’m just sorry we bumped into her.’ He replies, his expression guilty.

‘No need.’ You reply as you press the start button for the car ‘She’s a bitch.’ You shrug before giving him a smile.

‘I wondered if maybe you’d like to get a pizza and stay tonight?’ He asks, changing the subject completely.

‘Sounds like a plan.’ You reply ‘Could murder a stuffed crust pepperoni.’

‘God yes.’ He replies ‘That’s why I love you.,’

You freeze at his exclamation and so does he, the two of you looking away awkwardly. You focus on the road whilst he looks in the back to check on Emma, smiling at her little feet twitching as she sleeps. He inwardly scolds himself for his slip. That’s not how he wanted to tell you. He just hoped you hadn't taken it so literally. When you pull into his drive you turn your head to see Emma starting to stir, her face scrunching as she yawns and her mouth forms an adorable O.

‘I’m just going to dash to the house and get some fresh clothes for me and her.’ You say as you turn to look at Frankie.

‘I’ll get her fed and watered then.’ He jokes ‘I’ll order the pizza too. Pepperoni yeah?

‘And stuffed crust.’ You clarify ‘Forget the stuffed crust and I’ll never forgive you.’

‘You’ve got it!.’ He replies with a small salute.

Hopping out of the car he grabs the baby from her seat and carries her inside, bouncing her in his arms as he grabs a bottle from the fridge and places it in the bottle warmer. Emma is more awake now and tugging insistently at the collar of his shirt.

‘Did you have a good day baby girl?’ He asks sweetly as he looks down at his daughter, smiling when she squeals in reply ‘So how is daddy going to woo mummy hmm?’ He asks her ‘How am I going to prove to mummy how in love with her I am?’

She just stares up at him with her big brown eyes, her lips pursing as she starts to blow raspberries at him.

'Should have known I wouldn't get a serious answer out of you.' He chuckles as the timer on the warmer dings to let him know the bottles done 'Right you hungry Bebé niña?'

She suckles eagerly on her bottle, eyes comically wide as her hands grab at it. He watches lovingly as he feeds her, unable to contemplate how one can love someone as much as he loves her. He'd known the moment he looked at her that she was his and he'd never been happier in his life. He found he couldn't be angry at you for keeping it from him. He'd not exactly given you a reason to but he was glad that you had in the end. That he now had the chance to be a father to this angel in his arms.

~

‘This pizza is heaven!.’ You say, rubbing your belly as you sink back into the couch.

‘Good.’ He replies as he turns his head to look at you ‘Gino does make the best pizza in town.’

‘Well, I’d agree with that statement!.’ You say as you smile at him.

The two of you share a lingering look. You can feel your heart speeding up when his hand brushes yours. His eyes drop to your lips before returning your gaze again and you find yourself leaning in, his hand suddenly resting on your hip as your lips brush against his. Then... Screams.

‘I’ll get her.’ You say as you roll your eyes and smirk at him, sprinting up the stairs to tend to a wailing Emma.

‘Thanks a lot, baby girl.’ Frankie grumbles as he scrubs his hand over his face ‘So close.’ He finishes as his head falls back against the couch.

~

Chapter 5

[vajranam]

Dzogchen And Bodhicitta

THE UNION OF DZOGCHEN AND BODHICHITTA

The approach I take to Dharma practice is very simple, yet this approach should not be taken to undermine the profundity of the Buddhadharma. This approach is based on the instructions I received from my own root Lama, Khenchen Tsara Dharmakirti Rinpoche, the experiences I have had in my life, and many long years of study and solitary retreat.

It is my conclusion that the style of Dharma practice that the great yogis and practitioners of India and Tibet have relied upon up until now has been holistic in nature, and I believe that this approach is still the best one to take today.

Logically speaking, the Outer, Inner, and Secret Teachings are fundamentally interconnected and should be adopted and practiced as one path. In fact, they are so fundamentally interconnected that it is actually difficult to give Teachings on one without including the others. This interconnection - along with the "Union" which is the perfect, uncontrived view and the "Union" which is the nature of mind itself-is what I like to can the Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta.

Often, when people hear the words "Outer, Inner, and Secret Teachings," they want to associate them with one concept or another, such as the three vehicles of the Hinayana, the Mahayana, and the Vajrayana.

When translated from Sanskrit, the words Hinayana, Mahayana, and Vajrayana mean the "lesser, great, and indestructible vehicles," and "vehicle" refers to the method or the path used to cross the ocean of samsara.

But associating the Outer, Inner, and Secret Teachings with distinct concepts is not what I have in mind. In fact, associating the Teachings with concepts is precisely what can lead us away from putting them into practice properly. This is because as soon as we begin to talk about the Dharma in terms of duality, it becomes exclusive, such that one necessary component can easily be dismissed, ignored, or subordinated in terms of importance to practice.

This suggests that the Dharma is not holistic in nature, but instead that each practitioner may be selective about what they study and practice, thus putting some Teachings into practice while neglecting others, on the basis of assumptions made about the importance of different aspects of the Dharma.

The same thing has happened since the introduction of the Buddhist Teachings into Western pop culture. Many of the more subtle ideas of Buddhist thought, whose understanding requires deep explanations and years of contemplative experience, have been reduced to sound bites and images: simple ideas that are easy to digest and seem easy to realize if we could just remember them.

These packaged ideas appear to be spiritual in nature but have lost the essential meaning conveyed by the Teachings as a whole. One example of this is the commonly spoken idea that "I `.verything is One." '

This idea has its basis in the nature of "suchness," or reality "as it is," which is quite a profound state of realization.

However, it has been taken out of context and oversimplified. It is like a beautiful, empty shell that is not capable of pointing us in the right direction or providing us with the means for realization.

In order to truly understand the Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta, the Dharma as we have come to know it in the West has to be fundamentally reconsidered.

The Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta is the path in its totality, a synthesis of the Teachings without losing any of the meaning.

Although it is useful in other situations, for this particular discussion, associating the Teachings with dualistic concepts would only distract us from their essential meaning. We must take up the entire path as an interconnected entity of which every single part is given equal importance.

This is actually the true meaning of the word "Dzogchen," which can be translated literally as "the great perfection." Some people interpret this to mean that the nature of mind is perfect, or that the realization gained from the Teachings is perfect, and these things may also be true. But actually, Dzogchen is perfect because it is all-inclusive; it is the totality of the path that leads one to realization.

Rather than present the Dharma as a linear path as is often done in many foundational texts, I would instead like to present it here as three facets of an interrelated system whose parts must be practiced simultaneously if they are to lead to the perfect result.

These three facets are the Outer, Inner, and Secret Teachings, which are distinguished as separate elements only by the cognitive construct of words, and which completely encompass the wisdom of Tibetan Buddhism. But before I go any further, let me tell you about some of my own experiences with the Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta.

From the time I was born, my parents and I lived with a Dzogchen yogi called "Lama Chupur." He was the kind of yogi we call a drubtob in Tibetan, or in Sanskrit a siddha, or great adept-a yogi who has realized the view of Dzogchen and reached the stage of magical accomplishment.

In fact, Lama Chupur's name means "flying over water," and he was given that name after he was seen flying over a wide river near my village. He was the kind of yogi who had spent his whole life wandering around Tibet in search of the Teachings, and he had been the heart student (in other words, had received the entirety of his masters' knowledge and Teachings on realizing the nature of mind) of two of the greatest drubtob masters of his time. So maybe that can give you an idea of what kind of yogi Lama Chupur was.

Lama Chupur came to live in my village after the changes in Tibet. My parents were his students. He recognized me as a tulku (reincarnate Lama) from a young age, after which he raised me as both his child and his student.

I spent my childhood days in his constant presence, witnessing him and taking instruction from him. I remember that at first glance he did not seem to be meditating on anything special at all. When he gave Teachings, as he often did to the many pilgrims and village people who came to see him, he always gave Teachings on how to generate Bodhichitta and never even mentioned the Secret Teachings.

There was a kindness about him that is very difficult to convey with words. He had a marvelously good heart that marked you indelibly whenever you were with him.

Although his words and his ordinary appearance suggested that he was meditating solely on Bodhichitta, sometimes when I looked at him I felt something welling up inside of me.

I could tell instinctively by his gaze and the posture he assumed, as well as the clear quality of his mind, that his meditation was much deeper than that. It was not until I was older and had begun to study with my own root Lama, as well as other Lamas who were staying in retreat in Tibet, that I realized that Lama Chupur had been practicing the Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta.

Lama Chupur's story is not unique. My own root Lama, Khenchen Tsara Dharmakirti Rinpoche, was regarded by many Tibetans as the highest authority on the four sects of Tibetan Buddhism. He is the heart student of more than ten renowned Lamas and is the fourth in an unbroken lineage of heart students of Patrul Rinpoche.

Yet, many people did not realize the profundity of his meditation because of his humble appearance. Up until the time of his passing, he spent most of his time giving Teachings on Bodhichitta and always presented himself as an ordinary practitioner.

But as his heart student who spent more than twenty years under his guidance, I had the chance to experience his transformation. I can say with certainty that I witnessed my own teacher attain the fruit of the Teachings in this very life.

When Tsara Dharmakirti Rinpoche passed away at the age of ninety-two, he attained a sign called "Heart, Tongue, and Eyes," which is one of the signs of highest realization that comes as a result of the Dzogchen Teachings. In fact, it is the same sign that came when the omniscient Longchenpa passed away hundreds of years ago. Of course, I did not know the method my teacher used until he gave me the secret oral instructions of our lineage. It was then that I realized that he, too, relied on the Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta.

Finally, Tsara Dharmakirti Rinpoche once told me the story of an ordinary old man who lived in Kham, Tibet. He was a poor man with only the clothes on his back who lived in a stone house near a pilgrimage site that many people would circumambulate.

Nothing at all about this man seemed special. He was so ordinary, in fact, that until he died, no one even knew his name, much less thought of him as a great Dzogchen yogi. Each day this man would get up, beg for food, and then spend the day saying mantras and holding a Prayer Wheel that he slowly turned in circles.

I cannot tell you how shocked his countrymen were when this simple old man attained rainbow body, the sign of one of the highest accomplishments of a Dzogchen practitioner. When my teacher told me this story, I knew once again that the old man's realization had come from practicing the Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta.

In my studies, I have read scriptures about yogis who attained the result of the Teachings, but I have also occasionally come across stories of yogis who did not. I always wondered why these yogis did not attain the realization promised by the scriptures even though they spent their whole lives in solitary retreat as they had been instructed.

But as I examined further, I realized that they had neglected to practice the Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta and had fallen into the wrong view Thus, it was not their heroic effort that had failed them, but rather the view and style of practice they had undertaken from the outset.

Especially in this day and age, there are many kinds of meditation we can choose to practice. But meditation does not have some inherent quality that promises to rid us of self-attachment, which is the only way we can achieve liberation.

Rather, whether or not we achieve liberation depends solely on the type of meditation we choose to practice and the diligence with which we proceed. Thus, the yogis who did not attain liberation practiced a style of meditation that did not rid them of self-attachment, but rather led them to develop negative habitual tendencies and eventually take a lower rebirth.

Working with the mind is an extremely delicate art; we must be very careful not to make a mistake about what and how we practice.

This text presents my own holistic view of the Teachings, the Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta, as passed on to me by my Lamas, as well as developed through my own contemplative practice and study of the Buddhist canon.

In this unprecedented time where so many are able to benefit from practicing the Buddhist Teachings, I urge you to practice the Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta and attain the results promised by the Teachings. Pray this text bring benefit to beings everywhere.

-Anyen Rinpoche

The Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta

by Anyen Rinpoche

Translated by Allison Graboski

Snow Lion

[alivingstillness]

The heart intervention

A text about relationship, self-refinement and self-honesty, for the waking one.

You have come to the point of a story with another human being, where you feel tremendous urge for change. Unclear language and action between each other feels like it pushes you further towards the edge of a cliff that you no longer feel familiar with. 

To be infatuated with someone, ones actions and emotions often have the sense to be completely irrational. It is a forgetting of structure and behavioural patterns because for sometime, the feeling of union pushes mind to the backseat of our mechanism. It is not unusual that love-relationships are being built on this uniting desire to dissolve in one and another, but that the relationship takes new form when being tainted by life-experience outside of what is usually this first phase. 

“You need to love yourself, before you can love another.”

As long as union with another human being is the only experience one has had for complete absorption in love-bliss, the desire to experience union will be projected and wished for in the other person, - mistaking feeling and inner joy for the working of the other being. 

Since sex is such a potent way to for a moment shut the mind up and forget about the world, while one is in presence-absorption with flow of experience, it often becomes the gateway to project unity on a relationship that has gone sour or that is past the infatuation phase. It is a vicious habit because it is perpetuating ones own self-realisation and forcing the responsibility on your partner to fulfil yourself. Bodily urges can be satiated only for a short time, but recognising a deeper layer to our urges can make us go the root of them which makes us stop projecting our lack on other people. 

It is absolutely not about abstaining from sensory experience, or stopping the body or heart from attraction. But from self-realisation or awakening there is union beyond body, making the heart more infinite that one could ever dream of. 

To make love from the view of oneself already being in union, and being in the heart of awareness is like instead of acting as drops to become an ocean, you are the whole ocean in every drop, fully experiencing and never projecting. It gives you the opportunity to go into relation with another without tainting the relationship with your inner desire to feel whole. 

When realising divine union as yourself, there is tremendous energy, not only in your body but you become one with it. A journey with kundalini within your being, can work as layers upon layers of unfolding until focus becomes meditation and you surrender yourself to the Self, -rarely an instant transformation. On this journey, the human body and its energies change. 

There is frequent increase of experiencing on a more subtle level, which makes mystical experiences very common. Our whole vibration changes, making our vibratory field a natural director of things. When recognising awareness as yourself, the mind gets to be more of a witness of your path that has become pathless, watching new vibratory play take form, appearing as the path. 

Now, living as this bundle of vibratory potential, heart in Self-awareness and mind tagging along, can be sort of irruptive in the world of “I” the doer, for you are no longer that, and “I” is more like a divine act, a play of living form, no longer personal, yet very intimate. 

To act without acting or embodying the rays of uncaused and free will, one has to surrender the “I” completely. Even though some realisation of yourself might have taken place, it is hard to embody this divine surrender when living roles as mother, spouse, boyfriend, child or employee. One can understand the value of asceticism in this recognition. But it is also a bit of escapism of the play that is also the absolute, and if you have a structure that gives resistance to your truth, there is opportunity to surrender to that as well. But this is complex since some things are meant to stay and some to shatter. 

Embodying virtues of self-union and giving them form is alchemical, it lets awareness into maya and you get the opportunity - if you long for truth and purity enough, to play one last game in total freedom, which from a social perspective can be damn hard to let happen. 

If you have undergone some expansive self-understanding, your relationship with others will take new forms. Ones perspective about everything changes when there has been a new climax in self-exploration. A wise teacher once said: 

“A seed, having become a tree can never go back to being a seed, it is a tree!” - Rohan Ji. 

Since you are now a tree, you see the potential and recognition of a tree in the whole spectrum of form. It will change the way you look at things and others as much as it changes the person looking. Even your eyes will transform. Interactions with others are therefore in for a change as well. 

When being in an intimate relationship with someone who has not yet sparked his or hers desire towards the path of self discovery while you have jumped on the express train of inner fire to complete oblivion, turbulence are bound to happen. 

When the resonance between two beings become disruptive and your wavelengths of expression and understanding have become very different, the relationship structure easily becomes a battle of separate forces. Unless your parter is is willing to jump on the same train or is someone who embody enormous acceptance and security, then resistance, confusion and sorrow are some feelings likely to emerge. It might also be intimidating when noticing new behaviours, and a state of contentment can receive the opposite reaction from a partner that does not understand what perspective you are coming from. 

There is no right or wrong or anyone who can tell you how to handle your relationships or life situations after having discovered a new truth as yourself. But what can be helpful is a reflective reminder, that even though you might not be able to agree with each other or understand the others perspective, you do have the power to fully accept and surrender to what is. To recognise your feelings and your new vibration that speaks for itself and wants to be given the opportunity to direct your being in its natural flow. 

If you have already gone to the depth of your being, then there is no protection from hurt that will align anyone of you with the truth that you are. I am not telling you to to give up on someone or something as soon as things get uncomfortable, for there is much learning and growth when we confront feelings of discomfort. But they have to be confronted within, so we can have a clear language toward ourselves before we express it outwardly. Remember the seed that you were and the view that was once yours. It is not your task to push someone else forward because guidance has to come from within. If one is ready for existential pointers or true spirituality, then that will come from the desire of ones own path. It is a matter of heart longing for freedom that is outside of your personal directing. 

Stay as awareness and notice where there is stagnation and where there is flow. Be attentive and get to know your radiance in the world. Always surrender to what is presented and don’t put your wise heart behind bars. 

Embody your truth and see where it leads you. Give space for seeds to germinate, but do not make your personal ego the one to water them. What comes will come and what goes will go. Do not cling and do not be afraid, for you are eternal love. You can not give conditioned love from the structures of a finite mind when you have recognised it for its permeating liquidity, sipping through where tension can relax or be recognised as source. You are not responsible for your past feelings but you are responsible to recognise what is appearing now and act accordingly. 

Do not judge bundles of vibrations, but notice them from your heart. Honour hurt and honour joy. Stay in the present and let form be form. Let life be a grand intervention, but don’t forget yourself while investing in its wondrous play. 

Be humble, Stay awake.

/Alexandra

Artwork by James R. Eads and Chris McDaniel 

[ducktracy]

183. porky’s double trouble (1937)

release date: november 13th, 1937

series: looney tunes

director: frank tashlin

starring: mel blanc (porky, killer), tedd pierce (narrator), sara berner (petunia)

the end of an era—this is the final cartoon to feature “fat porky”. though he’d been dieting since late 1936 and steadily throughout 1937 with the other directors, frank tashlin was the last one to skinny him up. ironic, since he was such a stickler for streamlined designs! nevertheless, this is an exciting change, as porky is finally completing his transformation into the pig we know and love today.

not only that, this is the final appearance of frank tashlin’s petunia as well. she’d go on a hiatus all throughout 1938, only to be revived by bob clampetts with a totally new design in 1939. unfortunately, she was only kept for two more shorts before being discarded again. parting is such sweet sorrow!

we deal with not one porky, but two: an escaped convict kidnaps porky and steals his identity in order to successfully rob a bank. it’s up to petunia to put a stop to this criminal’s crime spree... or is it?

a silhouette of a pig furtively creeps under a blanket of typography from the title card. the pig isn’t our favorite stuttering porcine, but rather a grisly, stubbly porky doppleganger attempting to escape from prison. he jumps and growls at the spotlight that shines on him, shooting at the offscreen subjects. not only does he whip out two pistols, he even flips them--such a small detail of flamboyant dramatics goes a long way.

prison guards shoot back at the convict, silhouetted against the night sky, illuminated only by the glow of the searchlight and the stylized white bullets raining down below. the composition is stellar, its flatness reminiscent of the backgrounds of the early ‘40s cartoons, primarily from the likes of frank tashlin, chuck jones, and even norm mccabe at times. a whistle screeches as the prisoners run along, rifles in hand. in all, the dramatic opening rampant with silhouettes feels quite reminiscent to the opening of little beau porky, another tashlin entry just a year prior.

callbacks are more blatant as we undergo the signature Frank Tashlin Expositional Montage, footage of cop cars racing out into the street reused from tex avery’s the blow out, while a close-up of a newspaper press is also reused from avery’s porky the wrestler. all the while, a shot of the convict, identified as “killer” by one of the newspapers in the montage, oversees the chaos, his eyes drifting along to survey the action, his lips parted in a sneer. the narration (tedd pierce?) is the cherry on top--often times, narration has a tendency to feel redundant, as if it’s a crutch to support the gags (i.e. some of tex avery’s earlier entries), but here it elevates the theatrics of the entire prison escape.

speaking of narrators, ours introduces us to a gangster hideout--an abandoned all girls school by the name of katz school for girls, a nod towards studio business manager ray katz--no doubt a place frequented by killer. tashlin’s cinematography is in full swing as we iris in on an exterior shot of the hideout before panning along the interior, an arsenal of weapons littering the schoolroom of years past. a smooth, clever transition of pans from the classroom to a grandiose hallway, focusing on a door.

killer’s lackeys crowd around a table littered with alcohol bottles and playing cards, but most importantly, newspapers highlighting killer’s escape. his cronies all mutter words of praise in thick brooklyn accents (”yeah, dis guy’s clever, jus’ like who-dun-y! he can get outta anyt’ing!”). the conversation between the gangsters is surprisingly natural and fun to listen to: one of the lackeys likens killer to “clark taylor”, a humorously false remembrance of actors clark gable and robert taylor combined.

 knocking outside the door prompts the cronies to whip around with their guns drawn, all crowing “who’s ‘dere!?” in unison. outside the door stands a rather spherical caricature of mae west--if there’s a mae west cameo, it must be a ‘30s cartoon! funnily enough, tashlin gets an animation credit on buddy’s beer garden, a cartoon whose mae west caricature is relatively integral to the plot as well.

mae informs the boys that she comes peddling a message from killer. furtively, they all crowd around the door, stacking on top of each other, each peering out of their own peephole door. the silent film inspiration is strong in this shot. not only that, its composition also reminds me of some of the shots in tashlin’s porky pig’s feat, a personal favorite of mine. 

all hesitation to let newcomers in is dropped once the cronies spot their curvaceous company. they’re instantly smitten, batting eyelashes and all, one of the cronies going so far as to stroke mae the messenger’s face. tashlin’s cartoons always had a promiscuous flair to them, especially in the ‘40s--here is no exception. perhaps it’s only natural, seeing as this entire cartoon is one large parody of all of the gangster pictures churning out from warner bros. at the time (marked woman, kid galahad, san quentin to name a few.)

“he said...” mae lunges a haymaker, causing all four cronies to domino together and knock into the door as mel blanc settles out of his falsetto, “NOT T’ FOOL AROUND WITH DAMES, YA LUGS!!!” killer strips out of his outfit (even removing an iron barbell from where his chest is), growling “let that loin ya a lesson!” as always, mel is fun to listen to--his falsetto voice sounds rather similar to the voice he’d use for his lou costello caricatures. 

killer eyes a stray newspaper, gloating “once i was only public enemy numba NINE!” at the sight of his new title as public enemy #1. (it should be noted that in tashlin’s first picture, porky’s poultry plant, another “public enemy” gag is used. gag continuity is always fun to see!) his eyes drift over to an article on the other side of the page (if you look closely, the date is “thoisdays octember 42nd”, the paper addressing the denizens of “porkysville”.):

“hey! what’s dis? da guy looks just like me! he could be me twin brudda!” frank tashlin’s disgruntlement with porky can be felt multiple ways here. not only did he hesitate until 2.5 minutes into the cartoon to introduce him, the underscore is “puddin’ head jones”, a frequent score associated with porky on numerous occasions offering not-so-subtle commentary about his intelligence (or lack thereof.) 

killer ushers his lackey to take a glimpse at his bank-teller doppelgänger, whispering a plan to them involving porky and the bank, the narrator clueing us in that “the evildoers carefully plan another hideous crime.”

it’s not a tashlin cartoon without his signature up-shot: we iris in on an impressive up-shot view of “worst national bank”, a score of “plenty of money and you” and even the extravagant car horn of a limo solidifying that yes indeed, this here’s a bank! inside, porky dutifully deposits the goods of his spherically designed patrons. even by 1937, these mathematically proportioned designs were out of style--i suppose tashlin got the memo, though, seeing as this is the final “fat porky” cartoon, indicating a transition into more modern, streamlined designs. 

bob bentley animates a close-up of porky depositing the cash of a scottie dog. cue the ever prevalent “cheap scotsman” gag, the scottie’s coin purse (a sock with a lock on it) revealing a swarm of moths upon its opening. he deposits a lone dime, porky happily obliging to sign the bank book. the scottie leaves, and it only takes a few bloated seconds for porky’s brain to catch up with him, realizing that he just signed a bank book to deposit a measly dime. he smacks himself in the face, a carl stalling favorite cue of “you’re a horses ass” providing musical commentary as porky glowers into the camera, hand sliding down his pudgy face. stereotypes aside, this is a fun little scene. it gives porky some personality, accentuating his gullibility (a persistent factor of his character, no matter who is directing him), and bob bentley’s animation is extremely appealing. no discretion to volney white, who animates the next scene, but there’s a noticeable difference in bentley’s and white’s styles, bentley’s animation much more dimensional. i absolutely love how he draws porky.

secretary petunia, once again voiced by sara berner, coos at porky to come over to her desk. she wastes little time flirting with him, asking that the two “step out” for the night. volney’s animation of porky is hysterical--his discomfort is exceedingly visible. porky gets cold feet, a stuttering mess (more than usual) as he sputters “geh-eh-g-eh-g-g-gee, miss petunia, i’m, uh, buh-beh-bashful... huh...heh, you’re so eh-peh-purrty, and eh-uh-i’m, uhh... yee-you’re, uh...” cue one of my favorite deliveries ever by mel blanc as the lunch bell rings. porky grins, realizing he’s saved by the bell. he doesn’t stutter once as he declares breathlessly “it’s time for lunch, g’bye!” and rushes off. the comedic timing, both from mel’s delivery and volney’s animation, couldn’t be better. 

porky strolls outside, where he stumbles across killer (disguised as mae west again) hammering away at a car. porky’s good nature prevails, which often leads to trouble: with a polite tip of the hat, he asks if the woman needs any assistance. “would you be so kind?” 

as porky works on the vehicle, killer prepares to strike, hammer in hand. his motives are thwarted as porky turns to offer assurances that the car will be fixed in a jiffy, killer impatiently hiding the bludgeoner behind his back. the charade continues, porky turning and talking, putting a stop to the nefarious deeds. as porky turns to say “eh-nuh-neh-nuh-now, it’s in the beh-beh-eh-beh-bag!”, killer grunts in his normal voice “SO ARE YOU!”, kicking porky under the hood (bumpy ride!) and peeling off in the car to certain doom.

the transition from killer kidnapping porky to killer putting on porky’s clothes (who’s bound and gagged in a chair) is surprisingly snappy, yet comprehensible and smooth. of course, the narration does contribute to the clarity, but regardless, such a quick transition can be difficult to convey smoothly and clearly. tashlin does it very well.

volney white animates killer’s taunts to porky: “and, wit’ your sissy clothes on, i can rob da bank! and YOU’LL take da rap, see!? AHAHAHA!” volney’s animation is fun to watch--before i saw this cartoon for the first time, i only ever saw google images of it, this scene being one of those images. volney’s eye takes amazed me at how anachronistic they seemed, and i remember likening him to joe murray if he made cartoons in 1937. very fun eye takes indeed!

speaking of fun, bob bentley does a neat little scene involving a brawl between killer and his reflection in the mirror. he goes to check out his new pilfered duds (”now i look like da squoit!”), admiring himself in the mirror. suddenly, his reflection grows a life of its own, sticking its tongue out. real killer gets pissed (if you notice, when he does a take of surprise, you can see where the cel of the reflection gets cut off) and punches the mirror, leaving the glass broken, his reflection now touting a blackened eye. while the “reflection becoming sentient” gag may seem tired, i enjoy how interactive killer’s reflection is, all without saying a word. the staging feels incredibly natural and nonchalant.

with that, killer makes his way to the bank, whistling along to the underscore of “with plenty of money and you” beneath the words of the narrator. you can spot a bit of camera trouble as the camera pans out from the sign at porky’s desk reading “PORKY PIG -- OUT TO LUNCH”: the pan janky, the picture briefly turning blurry before resuming to normalcy. it’s more interesting than detrimental, especially considering warner bros never did retakes.

cue a montage of “porky” stowing away the goods of the townspeople into his pocket, pretending to deposit them in the bank. the minor key rendition of “puddin’ head jones” is a nice reminder of killer’s similarities and differences. similar in appearance, maybe, but not much else. 

petunia engages in her routine from before, attempting to seduce “porky”. mel blanc’s genius shines as killer responds to petunia’s calls in a gruff, scratchy “YEAH, WHAT IS IT!?” he catches himself, and responds in an authentic porky voice “ye-ye-ye-yes, wuh-weh-wuh-weh-what is it?” the transition is seamless. whether it was on one take or two separate recordings, i don’t know, but it remains just as entertaining either way. i especially like how killer switches from “yeah” to “yes”--porky’s personality, while still relatively thin at this point, is certainly coming clearer. at the very least, frank tashlin knows that porky wouldn’t respond by saying “yeah”. it’s a little detail, but it says a lot.

and, just like myself, petunia also understands the distinctions between killer and porky--especially when killer plants a kiss on her as soon as she pulls the same “how ‘bout you and i stepping out tonight, big boy?” routine. killer grabs her in his arms, sneering “why wait until tonight, baby?” and gives her a kiss, prompting petunia to smack him and declare “why, you’re not porky pig!” killer’s response is full of careful wit and thoughtfulness as he so eloquently answers: “SO WHAT?”

ringing the burglar alarm, that’s what. petunia discreetly sets the alarms off, prompting a flurry of bullets to whiz at killer offscreen (they sure have good security!). killer retaliates with his own shotguns, but quickly speeds off to his hideout, goods still in his possession.

killer and his lackeys admire the treasures stacked on the table, eager to pounce. a clever pan to porky, still writhing around in his ropes as killer sneers “AND DEY ‘TINK YOU DID IT!” 

tashlin’s artistry strikes again as we peer at the hideout through the bars of iron gates outside. truck out to reveal police officers crowding around outside, crouching on the ground to remain discreet. the shot is composed rather nicely, with the ground level nearing the horizon line, elevating the subjects to the middle plane. even though the shot itself doesn’t linger very long, the clarity is easy to see. a tree placed off to the side cleverly frames the two officers who are on the screen--little things like that make a big difference.

one of the lackeys notices the cops are lurking by, alerts the others, and immediately shoots his machine gun out the window. watch all of the stuff flying out of his pocket as he shoots--playing cards, knives, guns, jewelry, even a wig! definitely a fun scene to freeze frame and pick apart all the details. 

the cops retaliate, and an all-out shootout occurs. a gag reused from i’m a big shot now (another gangster parody cartoon) and porky’s duck hunt ensues as a cop shoots up at the building, the impact from his rifle driving him into the ground as each shot digs the hole deeper and deeper. another rather fun gag includes a woodpecker drilling into a tree, causing the officer in the branch to clutch his heart and moan “they got me!”

in the process, stray bullets from down below shoot out of the floor, conveniently ripping the ropes bounding porky to the chair. a quick bird’s eye view of the hideout, and it’s onto porky to take action. because we all remember porky as a suave, charismatic crime fighter, it’s only natural for him to jump onto a chandelier hanging from the hallway and knock all of killer’s cronies into a door. (do cartoon characters have stunt doubles? surely they do! don’t they?) 

volney white’s animation prevails for the remainder of the cartoon. porky hops down from the upstairs landing, plopping down right on top of killer himself. both come to fisticuffs, volney’s hilarious facial expressions and treg brown’s masterful sound effects combining to make quite the amusing amalgamation. certainly a scene worthy of freeze-framing for all of the funny faces!

perhaps even more amusing, however, is the drastic tone shift as soon as the cops arrive: no time is wasted during the transition between the fight and an armed cop probing “alright, who’s the killer!?” the fight breaks up in an instant off screen, and porky (his voice un-sped) pleading “i’m uh-puh-peh-puh-peh-porky!” the transition is almost too swift, but is comical over everything else, so i’m not too slighted by it. killer insists in his own gruff voice “I’M porky!”

the cop isn’t convinced, and tries again. both insist that they’re porky. that’s when it’s petunia to the rescue, who assures the cop that she knows how to find out. she cozies up to the real porky, once more enacting their “big boy” charade from earlier. as porky flops over his words in all of his collar-tugging glory, petunia gloats “that’s porky.” porky nodding along to her affirmation is a nice, subtle touch.

as we’ve repeatedly discovered, frank tashlin was no fan of porky. even though he outwardly admits that he didn’t like to work with him, there are multiple clues throughout his pictures solidifying his disdain. here is no exception, as petunia outright screws porky over. 

her sultry demeanor changes from reassuring to duplicitous as she heaves a sigh and coos “how that killer can kiss!” porky rightfully grows angry, and, in a pattern we’ll observe in many a cartoon, allows his jealousy to triumph his bashful, reserved nature as he grabs petunia’s arms and pulls her in for a kiss. killer’s eye-boggling, affronted expression and porky’s triumphant, chest-puffing stance after the fact are both hilarious. volney white does a wonderful job of conveying personality through his animation.

here’s the kicker. despite getting her kiss from porky, she still isn’t satisfied. she coldly remarks “i STILL take the killer!” with that, porky can only gawk in awe as petunia and killer march arm-in-arm out the door, petunia cooing that she’ll wait until killer gets out of prison. iris out.

the voice acting steals the show in this cartoon. mel KILLS it (no pun intended) as killer, from the falsetto to the porky impersonation--which is just mel doing his regular porky voice--to killer’s evil belly laughs. sara berner does a fine job as petunia, and tedd pierce’s narration is always a joy to hear. i’m unsure of who voices the lackeys, as they don’t quite sound like mel, but nevertheless, they too are fun to listen to, especially their introductory dialogue. if anything, you should check out this short for the voice work alone.

frank tashlin’s eye for cinematography sparkles as it always does. the opening montage is particularly impressive, especially the use of silhouettes. very bold and striking. his layouts are very well structured, and the cartoon flows very nicely. it’s a snappy one, but it hardly feels like it drags. there’s a lot packed into these 7 minutes! 

though i do pity porky, especially at the end, i will concede that the end IS a good shocker, even if petunia is straight up cruel. porky’s personality is slowly weeding its way out of the woods, with some traits (good natured, gullible) sticking to his character all throughout his career. progress is being made! and, as i said before, as much as i enjoy the fat porky design, i won’t shed too many tears over this being its final appearance, because it marks a new step forward for warner bros. cartoons are becoming funnier, snappier, wittier, the disney influence continually waning. good things await.

i definitely recommend you check this one out. while it’s not my all time favorite tashlin cartoon, there’s a lot to admire, from voice direction to animation to even the layouts. 

link!

[turningvioletviolet]

This post is going to be more about me organizing my own thoughts rather than me writing anything useful, so please accept my apologies lol.

The thing about activism that I think is difficult to swallow for a lot of folks (and that took me a loooooong time to learn) is that dialogue in enclosed spaces really don’t achieve much and if anything can detract from true progress.

Like, let’s say that a progressively minded young individual is moved to righteous anger after seeing the injustices in the world.

Great, excellent, we can use that anger.

Except oftentimes this leads to folks posting angry rants on the internet. Hell, I’m prone to doing the same thing, although that’s something I’m working on.

Let me back up a bit to add some context before I explain why I think this is a problem.

One of the most valuable facts I’ve learned about anger is that it’s generally a coping mechanism for painful emotions like fear or deep sadness. It’s a strange way of thinking about anger, but that’s how it’s often use—our brains have the neural pathways already built in for aggression, so it’s not a coping mechanism we need to learn or think about, and it is able to transform these painful feelings by blending them in with other emotions like pride or ego. Does it leave you feeling good? Probably not, but in many cases it might make you feel a bit more powerful, or at the very least it preserves your pride and ego.

So let’s say that someone, angry about the state of the world, becomes really active on the internet platform of their choice, writing and sharing about all the things that have caused this anger. What this does is reinforce the emotional benefits of anger (pride and ego—i.e., it reinforces a person’s feelings that they’re a good person with the right opinions on the correct side of history), while effecting very very little change.

It’s kind of a more subtle version of the whole #blackouttuesday thing on Instagram I remember seeing not too long ago. Sure, much of it was performative, but the majority of the people posting were people who genuinely believed that black lives matter but didn’t know how (or weren’t willing) to put in the actual work to creating change.

So what this does is it gives people a nonproductive outlet for their anger that’s able to satisfy their personal need to view themselves as a good person. Which sounds selfish when written like that, but to be fair it does come from the best possible intentions. The selfish aspects pretty much always happen on an unconscious level.

Now, don’t get me wrong—certainly interacting online can have some impact—just not in these big powerful ways. You might change a mind here and there, but unless they go out and start building change, even that kind of influence means very little.

Of course, there’s an argument to be made that any change is better than no change, but my concern is that the more that people learn to turn to internet rants and posts as the default outlet for their anger, the less that this anger gets diverted into better forms of activism: strategic protests (violent or non-violent), lobbying, phone banking, well-publicized boycotts (man I could talk about this one all day), etc. etc.

We have this big cultural concept that people must “break the silence” and “speak up” or else you’re being a bad ally/activist/citizen/whatever but I worry that maybe posting to social media platforms (especially ones where your audience likely has the same ideology as you already) is just convenient to those in power because it keeps would-be activists off the streets and off their lawns.

I don’t know. It just seems to me that the people I know who are most involved in activist work are also those who rarely if ever post about it.

[mfkinanaa]

SUN IN SCORPIO.

Scorpio: Fixed Water     

Ruler: Mars

Keywords: Transformation, Intensity, Purification, Power

Positive Expression: Creativity, healing, transformation, regeneration, loyal, focussed, pure, intimate, erotic

Negative Expression: Destructive, annihilation, cruel, seductive, manipulative, controlling, betrayal, possessiveness.

A Deeper View.

When the Sun is found in the mysterious sign of Scorpio, the emphasis is on the subtle and profound. Motivated by a need for emotional closeness, Scorpios seek connection and truth. Those born with the Sun in Scorpio often have much to learn about the nature of intimacy and power.

Scorpio is a complex sign with many dimensions of expression. This complexity is traditionally described by the three symbols which are associated with the sign – The Scorpion, The Eagle and The Phoenix. Each symbol reveals something about what motivates the Scorpio individual, and so what their purpose in life might be. With the Sun in Scorpio, strong intuitive abilities help them penetrate to the essence of reality, to see things and others as they truly are.

Ruled by the Water element, Scorpios are sensitive individuals. They have an almost compulsive need to face the truth about themselves and the people in their lives.

Scorpio is associated with desire, sexuality and release. It also relates to the psychological motivations which underpin human behaviour. Through confrontation with their own and other people’s true nature, those with the Sun in Scorpio tend to experience life lessons that acquaint them with the depth of what it means to be human. This insight gives them the opportunity to offer a truly compassionate understanding of human nature to those who can benefit from it most.

Scorpio also governs matters to do with life, death, transformation, intimacy, relationships, destruction, renewal and regeneration. This sign rules crisis situations, life and death decisions and emergency services.

Scorpio also has a financial emphasis, meaning that there can be a talent for managing other people’s resources. Accordingly, Scorpio is connected with stocks, bonds, investments and strategic decision-making.

This sign is also associated with hidden matters such as magic and the occult, as well as depth psychology, forensics, criminology, mafia and any study of unconscious forces. Those born with the Sun in Scorpio often have an uncanny knack for sensing the subtle or hidden undercurrents in a situations. They respond in ways that bring hidden dimensions to light.

Scorpios can excel in any circumstance that calls for reconstruction, renewal and reform. Usually those born wth the Sun in Scorpio will be drawn to at least one of these areas of experience. They have a flair for confronting issues head-on.

Finding the Truth.

This capacity to perceive the core of what drives other people means that Scorpios are unlikely to mince words. In negotiations and discussions, they have the ability to put their finger on exactly what is happening, or needs to be said in a given moment, in order to bring about change.

This ability to “call a spade a spade” means they can be very effective in all forms of analysis, strategic planning or conflict resolution. They can also be especially useful in any activity that requires the removal of obstacles from a given path.

They can make excellent healers, counsellors and psychotherapists because of this capacity to uncover the truth. By sensing their way down to the foundations of psyche, they gain the perspective to look at things realistically and assess what is truly going on.

This need to get to the essence of things comes from a powerful urge to face truth. Scorpio is a sensitive and subtle sign. Whilst the may appear calm and controlled, they are easily hurt and need time to learn to trust. Once their trust is given, it is unflinching and loyal.

Because they are so sensitive, they know when something untoward is afoot. They quickly sense when others are keeping the truth from them, and this feeling will make them hold themselves back.

They often prefer to sit back to assess others first, watching what they are doing, how and with whom before deciding who it is they can trust. Scorpios tend to be very private people, and even the most extroverted Scorpio will keep certain things strictly to themselves.

It takes time for them to open up and share. They tend to value privacy and personal space. When feelings of trust and intimacy do develop, then they can be the most caring and generous of lovers or friends. For Scorpio, intimacy is a precious thing that cannot be given and must be earned.

Their sensitivity however makes them vulnerable, and they seek to protect this vulnerability by confronting the source of whatever is challenging them or causing them concern. By facing problems at their source, they hope to disarm an enemy or a situation before it has the opportunity to overpower them.

Their best offense is defense, and they do this with lethal precision. They will confront the truth about themselves, as well as other people, if it will bring them closer to their goal. This need to face what is going on can come across as provocative or confrontational. Scorpios can appear controversial – even threatening – simply because they are seeking to expose the truth.

With the Sun in Scorpio, the ability to uncover hidden matters means they can see through any facade, and pick up on any attempt at deception. It is very difficult for anyone to pull the wool over Scorpio eyes. They use this uncanny sensitivity to protect their vulnerable feelings, and seek out those they can fully trust.

Finding The Light Within The Dark.

As much as Scorpios are famed for their intensity, they are also famed for their sting.

Learning to recognize and deal with the negative or toxic parts of their own nature is an essential part of the journey toward truth. There is an “all-or-nothing” quality about this sign that must be handled with care.

When they love someone, they do so completely. They can be especially devoted, caring and committed. But when they feel threatened or uncomfortable, they may show a more destructive side which can be the source of much heartache and regret.

Because Scorpios deal in power and truth, they know the impact their words can have. They also know that words and truthfulness can be used to harm others as much as they can be used to heal.

Those Scorpios who have not learnt to refine their personalities can use a well-aimed remark to destroy another, attacking them at their weakest and most vulnerable point. A certain amount of power is gained from this ability to find another’s weakness, but this power is something they must wield with care.

The toxic, unconscious and non-regenerative aspects of their own nature will make them strike out defensively, preemptively wounding others to keep them at bay. This then poisons potential relationships, and destroys what might otherwise be healed.

It is very human to blame others for the faults we also carry ourselves. Scorpios need to recognize when this shadow is operating so that it can be redeemed and brought into the light.

This requires absolutely honesty, firstly with themselves. Once they see themselves more clearly, they are in a much better position to recognize when they need to keep clear of someone, and who it is they can really trust.

Consequently, it is important for Scorpio’s to become aware of their own faults before they can comfortably deal with others. This sign requires that they examine their own emotional natures, in order to grow and evolve.

It is important that they learn to spend time alone, and get to the bottom of what they are feeling and why. As a Water sign, they may experience intense emotional needs and desires. These desires demand satisfaction, and can lead to obsessive states of mind.

Becoming obsessed about an outcome or a person is a strong signal that something else is going on. Often, Scorpios carry deep desires to posses or control another person as a way to conquer some undisclosed aspect of themselves. The other person represents a part of themselves they are unconsciously trying to bring into the light.

Finding and refining these undercurrents will lead to a purification of their sense of self and their relationships.

Once Scorpio has embraced transformation they can operate as a powerful force for change. Not only does their own life improve , but they become adept at helping others to improve themselves.

Scorpios are often privy to the secrets of others. Because they value privacy they recognize the value of what others share with them. Scorpios can act like vaults, holding the difficult truths people need to share about themselves when they have nowhere else to turn.

Scorpios know the power of secrecy, and will keep a confidence with great loyalty. This sign is also connected with catharsis, and by letting others confide in them, those with the Sun in Scorpio have a way of helping them let go of whatever is holding them back. By facing emotional truths honestly, they help themselves and others change.

Resource Management.

A further aspect of the Scorpio nature involves the management of other people’s resources.

This is a very financial sign, and Scorpios often have special talents in dealing with finance and resource management. They excel at strategic planning and having an intuitive awareness around when to go forward and when to pull back.

Their sense of timing is often excellent, as they can read the subtle energies pooling in the moment. Scorpio can patiently wait for exactly the right moment to act. Their success comes from having the tenacity to hold onto momentum when other, less resolute individuals have lost focus or let opportunities dissipate.

Scorpios have an intimate understanding of power and its potential. So they know how to use it to maximum efficiency. Thus, they can be naturally attuned to work in government, financial and property markets, where the ability to see the true value of something or wield power from behind the scenes is a real asset.

Sun in Scorpio: Your Solar Journey.

Born with the Sun in Scorpio, your journey is likely to involve learning through transformation and change. You are here to experience power and see how power operates through life. You may see this process in yourself or other people, and can develop great strength through constant cycles of crisis and regeneration. Over time, you gain inner wisdom through confronting your own inner demons and desires.

In essence, your journey is one toward greater levels of intimacy both with yourself and other people. You are likely to seek deep, one-on-one encounters with others where you can explore the depths of your emotional nature. From intimacy comes real growth, as well as a unique perspective on the mysteries of human life. To attain this level of illumination, you must always be truthful with yourself.

[filmhistorymptv1145]

In your first blog post of the semester, explore the tug of war in cinema between the “classical” in cinematic storytelling and those who try to subvert it. Drawing upon examples from the films we have studied thus far, define what “classical” cinematic storytelling is and demonstrate how it functioned in an earlier period of film history, as well as its continuing legacy. Where do you see evidence of the “classical” today? Then, consider how filmmakers working in subversive modes challenge the dominance of classicism, either through subtle, indirect means or by full-on assaults. What kinds of classical storytelling approaches do they reject? How do they do that? What changes in form and content defy the classical? The films we’ve seen will help, as will the various sources you’ve been given for study. Use examples from the films we have studied, and draw upon others that you think are relevant.

Cinema is often thought to be the highest form of art, since it combines storytelling, acting, and music all in one glorious attempt to do something that feels simple, but as we find in exploring the history of film, not so much: the art of telling a story. There are many different ways to approach conveying information in a visual manner, and although the direct method might seem to be the easiest, we find that directors can get away with telling their story in the most imaginative ways possible. From the use of flashbacks, forwards and sometimes even sideways, the viewer is taken on a journey through which they are given the clues needed to piece the entire story together on their own. Directors use these various methods of storytelling often to drive home a point, possibly about how the main protagonist sees the world, or how memories are often skewed through the lenses of either emotion or possible mental illness. Telling a story on screen involves a lot of elements that were cemented as ‘classical’ during the early days of Hollywood, and many directors still utilize these storytelling techniques to this day. Others have forged their own path in defying the classical model of film, whether by altering how the progression of the story is conveyed to the viewers, or simply casting away the norms all together.

As Hollywood began to come into its own in the early 1900′s, many of the silent films that were made followed a recipe for getting its message across to the audience watching the screen. It all started off with Alice Ida Antoinette Guy-Blaché, credited with creating the first directed narrative. Up until that point, most movies that were being made were what we would call by today’s standards ‘b-roll footage’. Images of trains coming into a station, workers leaving factories for the day, and horses running were what was most often seen in early day Nickelodeon’s. Alice was the first to use a three stage story arc when she directed her first short film Suspense. Illustrating the rising action with the mother seeing the robber in the alley below her bedroom window, the climax of the husband bringing the police home with him in time to save his wife and child, and the resolution when the family is safely reunited, and the would-be robber is taken away by the policeman. Using film to not only illustrate a story but take the audience on a journey that tugs at their emotions and leaves them sitting on the edge of their seat was not something that had been done before.

Alice paved the foundation for classical storytelling in early cinema, which was firmly linear for several decades once the Motion Picture Production Code began being firmly enforced by the Catholic Church. Since villainy was to be punished and goodness was to be rewarded in the rules, many of the films that came out between 1934 and 1965 followed the same formula. The man ended up with the woman he was in love with, and they were able to get through whatever troubles sprung up in their way throughout the movie.

We see this in Ninotchka, where a Soviet agent is tempted by the love of a Frenchman named Leon and driven to betray the Communist regime of her country in order to pursue it. Nothing can come between them, not even when she returns to Russia and Leon is barred from visiting her. Even when his romantic letters to her are censored by the Communists, the hope in the story is not completely lost. 

Through all obstacles, Ninotchka and Leon are happily in each other’s arms by the end of the movie. You would think that the Communist regime of 1930’s Russia would easily get in the way of two lovers, but in the glittering bauble of Hollywood, there was seemingly nothing that could prevent the linear storytelling model from rewarding the deeds of the good-doers. Not even a strong-willed, stony Communist woman can ignore the temptation of the love of a man, or the freedom that would come with fleeing her home land. Betraying their home country in the name of love isn’t something many people have to struggle with. Yet we see Ninotchka’s transformation unfold on screen in an almost eerie fashion, under Leon’s influence. At the same time, she doesn’t lose the core of who she is even after falling in love. We see this when she gets quite drunk while out with Leon, and she’s caught promoting Marxist ideals inside the women’s bathroom. At the end of the day, Leon still loves Ninotchka for who she is, Communist and all. 

However, some modern films still manage to follow a linear manner of storytelling, even if they are groundbreaking via other means. Take Donnie Darko for instance. Filled with strange imagery that represents Donnie’s visions of how to save the tangent universe from certain destruction, it can feel like a film that displaces the viewer. However, if you have watched it a few times, you can see that the strange, obscure events in the story are still told in the order as they happen. From the night that Frank appears to Donnie and warns him of the world’s impending doom that is to come in twenty-eight days, a countdown begins from that point onward. Even when Donnie is experiencing visions of his school flooded with water, or being egged on by Frank to burn down the house of a local celebrity, we see each day pass by in order until the film’s ending. Images of water and fire are placed against Donnie’s relatively normal, everyday life as a high school boy in a stark, brilliantly vivid contrast. 

While Richard Kelly could have chosen to present the film’s events out of order or utilize flash backs and forwards to communicate his vision, his unique and bizarre story was easier to understand since it was told linearly. Kelly still manages to subvert the norm by creating his own science behind what was happening to Donnie, between the tangent universe, living receiver and the manipulated dead and living. Kelly also did not feel the need to show the audience every last little detail of Donnie’s abilities and experiences, feeling that ‘less was more’ in his interview in The Donnie Darko Book. Rather than showing Donnie levitating off of the ground and swinging the axe into the bronze statue of the school’s mascot, Kelly instead cuts to the scene where the disfigured piece of art is discovered by both the police and the principal. 

Choosing to let the audience use their own imaginations to fill in the blanks allows the viewer to come up with their own creative ideas as to how events unfold, instead of being spoon fed them shot by shot. A cult classic, Donnie Darko still comes to mind all these years later whenever the topic of films that challenge the classical model through indirect and still wildly creative means.

Then there are directors which completely subvert the linear story model, turning it on its head and taking the audience through an unexpected, wild ride where they are never quite sure if they can trust what they are seeing on screen. Robert Eggers’ newest film The Lighthouse is a story that is difficult to grasp on the first viewing. Even in just aesthetic terms, Eggers goes against the norm in choosing the 4x3 aspect ratio for his movie, instead of the traditional widescreen. It brings us closer to the actors and their rapid descent into madness, giving off a sense of claustrophobia as the dread slowly builds on screen. The movie is shot in black and white instead of contemporary color film, which leads to our eyes having fewer things to be distracted by as we watch. It also adds to the otherworldly, nightmarish atmosphere of the movie, and gives the director more opportunities to use the lighting on set to convey the deeper messages that are found in The Lighthouse.

Eggers has a way of giving the viewer a creeping sense of foreboding without showing anything scary at all. The opening shot of The Lighthouse begins with a large ship cutting through dark and stormy waters, and then we see our two main characters shot from behind with the lighthouse towering above their heads, accompanied by tense music. There’s something to be feared in these beginning moments, even if the viewer can’t quite put their finger on just what it is yet.

The audience is not sure if the main protagonist, Winslow, is a reliable character or not. There comes a point in the movie where everything we are led to believe up to that point is turned onto its head, and from that moment forward the viewer can not tell if Winslow is of sound mind or not.

The night before their shift is supposed to end and the ferry will come to take them away from the lighthouse and the island, Winslow finally breaks his sobriety and he gets quite drunk with Wake. During what we think is the next day (any attention paid to how much time has passed feeling scrambled by this point), Wake informs Winslow that the rot has gotten to their salted fish. Winslow replies that they had only missed the ferry by a day, and there is no need to ration their food. Wake replies that it had been weeks since they had missed the ferry that was supposed to take them home, not a single day. Wake also says that he had been telling Winslow to ration their food for the past few weeks, to which Winslow does not believe him. Wake comments that he does not want to be stuck at his post with a lunatic, and bids Winslow to go with him to dig up their extra rations, which turn out to be comprised of nothing but more alcohol. Wake makes a few slip-ups of his own in recounting his sailor days with Winslow, having two different versions of how he lost his leg, or whether or not he had been married and had a family. Between Wake’s lying and Winslow’s seemingly unstable mental state, there is no reliable narrator to trust throughout the film.

From then onward, the film spirals into such madness that the viewer can only hope to retain their wits enough to follow what is unfolding on the screen and attempt to piece together what is real and what is not in their own mind. We no longer have any baseline for reality to cling to at this point, between the excessive drinking on screen, and the characters’ untrustworthy narrations. Eggers gives us only the briefest, pin-prick sized moments of normalcy, such as Wake and Winslow catching lobsters for their dinner, or Winslow attending to his various duties on the small outcrop of land that the lighthouse sits on. Even then it is difficult to pay close attention to these tiny seconds of peace after having been put through a dizzying whirlwind of stimulus only seconds prior, with visions of sirens washed up on the beach, or tentacles belonging to some great, terrible beast sliding across the top floor of the lighthouse.

The linear model of storytelling that was cemented in early Hollywood is classical for good reason. The early directors and screenwriters of that era paved the foundation that modern day films still utilize nearly a hundred years later, setting a standard that directors can either utilize, or subvert entirely. It is safe to say that there is no limit on creativity and ingenuity, no matter how the director may choose to tell their story on screen. Whether they follow the classical model, subvert it entirely or land in some sort of middle ground, we as the audience are given plenty of artistic content to work with and ponder about regardless of what they choose.

[jademight]

What does it *feel* like for Bruce, sharing space with another consciousness? Does he feel like the Hulk is a part of him that has been separated/exacerbated, or does he feel like an entirely separate entity within Bruce?

Character development time! Give me some interesting questions about my character and I will answer.

This is a great question and I’m going to split it into three chunks. One, what Bruce thinks about the Hulk, and two, what Hulk is in relation to Bruce and three, how it Feels on a given day.

Massive wall of text below lmfao.

So Bruce’s views on the Hulk and their relationship changes and varies extremely over the years, so I’m going to break this into yearly chunks.

PART ONE: BANNER V HULK.

The First Two Years- Early Days and On The Run

So, in the early days, Bruce’s views on the Hulk are....really not kind. For the first two years, really up until the end of The Incredible Hulk movie, Bruce considers Hulk a foreign entity. A monster that was unleashed in the wake of the Gamma Bomb, a genie that Bruce had to actively work on keeping in the bottle. Bruce was genuinely afraid of the Hulk and did all he could to not cause a trigger. Only after being told of Hulk’s interactions with Betty and his discovery that he can ‘aim’ the Hulk, he started to somewhat see It in a different light.

Yes, It, because for a while Bruce didn’t consider the Hulk an individual.

Year Three - Avengers Days

So this is the period of time when Bruce really starts to make a concentrated effort at trying to understand the Hulk and what it-- he is. He starts to key into the fact that Hulk isn’t an entirely foreign entity, and that there is a deeper connection between the two of them. There is a part of him that suspects the DID diagnosis deep down, but he absolutely denies it and goes to the conclusion of ‘Hm, maybe it was a buried part of my subconsciousness, the Freudian ID to my Ego.’ 

So while Bruce no longer sees the Hulk as an altogether foreign entity, he still feels like he is merely a fragment, base thoughts and desires given green form. Something that can be kept at an arm’s length but still something he’d rather avoid. ( Hence, his aversion to Code Green.)

Year Four. - Planet Hulk

This is when shit gets complicated. 

So Hulk gets sucked up through the portal and ends up in Sakaar. Initially he is still operating on survival instincts, fronting for days on end so Bruce doesn’t get hurt. But then days become weeks, weeks become months. And Hulk starts...having a kind of a life there. A life where he is not seen as The Green Monster but rather someone people cheer on, and he really likes that. So he shuts Bruce out, on purpose. Bruce, in the aftermath of AoU and being forced to go on a rampage, is emotionally shut down, so he doesn’t put up much of a ‘fight’, as it were. And as a result Hulk remains Hulked out for a whole year until Thor comes and manages to switch him back to Banner. (In my canon it’s not a recording of Nat but probably a recording or a picture of Betty or something along those lines.)

However, once Bruce comes to and realizes what has happened, he can no longer deny that Hulk is a person wholly his own and not merely a fragment. After Sakaar, Bruce has to admit to himself that he has some form of an identity disorder.

Year Five - Just A Man and his Green Friend

They get back on Earth, and at this point Hulk is no longer operating on childlike survival instincts, he is fully cognizant and has a full vocabulary. Both of them have a somewhat contentious relationship because Bruce is back to being afraid and apprehensive of the Hulk, so he’d rather avoid a full transformation. But he now recognizes Hulk is not a Thing he can ignore now, so they are attempting to communicate and reach some form of common ground. 

PART TWO: WHAT IS A HULK ANYWAY?

Though Bruce tried his best to deny it, Hulk is absolutely a separate individual within Bruce’s mind. He was ‘created’, as you will, during Bruce’s childhood, when his young brain couldn’t handle the verbal and physical abuse at the hands of Brian and function as a normal kid so his brain created a separate individual who could endure the blows, someone who could take in all of Bruce’s rage and anger and fear and hold onto it for him. Once Brian was institutionalized and was no longer a factor in Bruce’s mind, this personality went dormant.

Until the Gamma Bomb.

So up until the Avengers, a.k.a. when Bruce made the conscious effort to ‘reach out’ to the Hulk, every time he surfaced, he existed within the moment of trauma, of being caught up in all the anger and fear and thus living in a state of perpetual Fight or Flight. This is why the Hulk we see in the early days have the vocabulary of a child and exists purely on instinctual reactions. Once he gets to Sakaar and he has the opportunity to calm down and exist outside the moment of trauma, the actual personality buried underneath all the emotions start to come out, and he becomes more verbal and has a more extensive vocabulary. (It’s not babyfied like Ragnarok, but he nevertheless likes to stick to short and to the point sentences). He is still a being of emotion and will revert back to that anger and rage when sufficiently distressed, but he is more cognizant overall.

I do want to make a point to say that even though Hulk can be really annoyed by Bruce and his attitude towards him, he is ultimately there to protect Bruce from harm and be the Caring Grown Up figure he never had. But there is also that push and pull of wanting to have his own life but also being part of Bruce and sharing the body. So it’s a complicated issue they have to get through. (Is integration into one cohesive mind possible? Sure, but they have a LOT of work to do before they can get anywhere near it. And whether or not they want to integrate into one mind is a different question entirely. The fact that Endagme did all this off-screen pisses me off to no end.)

Another point I want to make is comics delve into Bruce’s DID way more than I am. There is a massive sprawling system of alters within comic Bruce’s system (Joe Fixit Hulk is the Teenager Bruce never got to be, Savage / Childish Hulk is the repressed rage, Devil Hulk is the Protective Father etc. There are literally hundreds of Hulk alters.)  I am very much compositing Savage Hulk and Devil Hulk into one figure and making him the only alter in the system for convenience’s sake and to make Hulk a more defined character rather than the mess of trauma and psychological issues that he is in the comics.  (Of all the alters Joe has the most probability of making it to the blog eventually but not anytime soon.)

PART THREE - WHAT IT FEELS LIKE 

The analogy I’ve grown attached to is the imagery of a door. All the abuse Bruce endured and the memories and the pain got put inside The Room Behind That Door, and Hulk was inside keeping it all locked in. The door was always there, but beyond Bruce’s ‘gaze’. When the Gamma Bomb went off, the door became ajar and Hulk was out. In the first two years, when Bruce has not much of an understanding of the Hulk, he feels like a ticking time bomb, like a dynamite with its fuse lit that’s going to go off at any moment. In year three, once he has more of an understanding, he starts becoming more cognizant of the proverbial door and starts getting more of a ‘feel’ of it, like a subtle pressure at the base of his skull.  Year Four, the roles are reversed and Bruce is the one locked behind the door, but Hulk is fully cognizant of the fact and is actively keeping it locked until he Can’t. Year Five, aka the Current Status Quo, Bruce feels the Hulk as that pressure at the back of his skull that intensifies if he is feeling some kind of way. Sometimes, more often than not really, he will see the Hulk as his reflection instead of his ‘own’ face. They are also becoming more prone to ‘talking’ in the Inner World should they need to communicate, but Hulk usually prefers to give Bruce a ‘sense’ rather than a full blown conversation. 

God this has been a wall of text I hope this makes sense and answers the question lmao.

[neworoldnews]

If your attention was ever caught by a fascinating theme, you know the feeling of being sucked into a mental dialogue.

Your inner voice, usually wandering on its aimless distractions, suddenly clicks! Dropping through a vortex of questions that curiosity begs to scratch.

This synchronised state of mind is rarely triggered during our daily tasks. So when it kicks, you are pumped with a focus strong enough to keep you wondering for hours. The Perception-high.

You mostly navigate in a pre-digested world, seeing what you would expect to see. Conditioned by predispositions, past experiences or hurried backup-conclusions.

Imagine perception as a color. The full rainbow representing the Object and each color a possible Perspective:

This is the perfect metaphor. Just like color is a brain’s hack to help you navigate, and not a property of the object itself, so your conditionings keep you moving in an otherwise overwhelming environment.

This eases decision making and enables action in an otherwise infinity of ponderation.

The mind reinforces the lessons you’ve gathered and the natural tendencies you have. It then paints the world according to your position at the rainbow.

When you look at something, you are actually throwing your colours at it and gazing back at the reflection. Imprisoned by a bubble of your own echo, moulded by imperfect barriers that guide your way into practicality.

Often, not aware of this colourful spectrum, we keep confusing our simplistic representations with the things in itself. The world stretches through our eyes so widely that is hard to notice our frontiers within it.

Just like someone before Newton wouldn’t see gravity in a fallen apple, who has never fallen in love will be blind to the colours of Romeo & Juliet:

The book is open, the apple cracks against the ground. Yet the observer will place the respective color in front of the object, collecting no more than a monochromatic representation. “God wanted the apple to fall”, colorises the priest; “what a teenage angst thing to do, Romeo”, scribbles the unlovable.

Think about the most practical and material-oriented person you know. Now picture her/him starting to drive. Imagine them becoming aware of the noises in the engine. Is it possible that this thought crossed their mind?

“The little noises it makes, it’s telling me what to do. For my whole life those were just random noises, but turned out to be instructions all along!”

Observation highs vary hugely in degree. They can be subtle, adding a little nuance to an existing colour. Or drastic, adding a whole new pigment to the palette.

You’ve been excited about becoming aware of something you were previously blind to before. Now compare that feeling with a man getting his mind blown by seeing colors for the first time [here’s a video].

Now compare that with the moment Einstein saw Time as another dimension, changing the colour spectrum for humanity.

Sure, most of us will never dream of such an intense revelation. But no matter the gradient of these perceptions, pleasure and admiration will always be aroused.

It’s about freedom. Novelty! To escape the circle of seeing what you would expect to see is to stand above a new landscape. To contemplate old sights with a renewed eye. It’s being a tourists to everything.

If you want to better master observation, and fix a dose of that sweet Perception High, you must realize how much your conditionings affect the impressions you gather.

Understand your mind-mold

The framework in which your mind operates is a complex interplay of psychological representations and social conditionings. These are the things that compose your colour.

To become aware of your mindset its helpful to play with some questions first. Let’s start small, with an experiment:

Think about riding a bicycle to work tomorrow. Allow yourself to reflect on the way you reason while answering these questions:

Check my emotional pulse. Have I intuitively made up my mind before pondering?

How did I tackled it, “why not” or “why would I”? How can that be a byproduct of my education?

Can I attach a fear to my decision-making? What fear would that be?

Is my analysis based on hopes or dislikes? Can those hopes be achieved or those dislikes avoided by my present self?

Is there any stereotype or belief on my thought process? What is it?

This is important because it put you in a original position. Like stretching for your eyes, preparing you to see.

Henrique Pousão was a naturalistic painter who deeply understood the power of learning how to see. To patiently allow the eye to catch up with every side, to delay judgment and isolate the different impulses that suggest a conclusion.

For him observation was in itself an act of Creation.

TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT HIS PAINTING:

This young boy, joyfully staring at us with mellow eyes, resting from the stillness of posing, may be one of the most iconic, yet ignored, symbols regarding Observation-Creation.

It’s amazing how natural the pictured moment is.

The scene couldn’t be less pretentious, the studio is perfectly ordinary, the kid sits in a relaxed and childish way, even the working environment is somewhat mild.

It looks like you just walked in the middle of the action. Your presence caused an Interruption, so you are caught by a delightful smile and two proud eyes staring for approval.

In fact, this painting is all about Interruptions.

The boy stops posing to show you his own version of himself, drawn on a little piece of paper. Behind him, on the canvas, is the painter’s sketch for the child’s picture.

So, how many painting are here, and what can they teach us about Observation?

1 — The Child’s Sketch

The boy shows no respect for the ritual of painting.

Turning his back on the canvas while breaking his pose, the child interrupts the painter to show a rippled piece of paper. He doesn’t do it out of malice nor ignorance, but out of a light-hearted disregard for convention.

Why show reverence to something just because it’s drawn in a proper canvas? Why not be proud of a piece of paper if it’s saturated with the same matter as the masterpieces: Pure Creativity.

The Child doesn’t aspire to rebel against anything, there is no duty in his creation. But the force he is driven by shows no mercy to authority, it is empowered by the value of curiosity and excitement in itself.

All principles are new and noble, all approaches worth considering. “Truth” is but a toy to be played with, open to amusing construction, while ideas are molded, tossed, mixed and joint like pieces of LEGO.

Nothing is too absurd, nothing is too serious, nothing is too evident!

It there was not a child in our way to Perception High, then Galileo Galilei would never have dropped balls from the Leaning Tower of Pisa, disclaming the solemn Aristotelian theory of gravity.

Never would Hennig Brand boild his own piss to discover phosphorus, or would anyone conceive the idea of a cat being both alive and dead at the same time.

It’s all about the freedom, the innocence, to level all that was thought and seen to a common ground where new values and concepts can flourish.

Interrupting authority, fuelled by Pure Creativity.

2 — The Canvas Draft

The draft presents a perfected version of the boy, nobler and more beautiful.

His wide potato nose is portrayed as small and delicate. The hat on top of his ragged clothes even seem aristocratic. His meditative head rests upon a steady hand. There is an overall feeling of idealisation

Somewhere, right now, there’s some small group of people working in a garage, dreaming about, if every single thing goes smoothly, changing the world.

Some eventually will. If Apple, Google or Microsoft had never dreamed of the most positive possible scenario, then how could they have aspired to be what they’ve become?

While playing with an idea, feel free to extend it into it’s most extreme scenario. Elaborate a whole mental experiment, or invent completely new laws and models.

The painter interrupts the boundaries of reality to go beyond the limits of his physical theme.

This is when you don’t think about how things are, but question about how things could be.

That thought functions as an arrow, pointing to a distant bright destiny that you ought to follow. At the dawn of agriculture, a man envisioning a golden field of wheat. A revolting slave dreaming of equality. A deaf scientist wishing to hear…

Though the complete opposite is also relevant.To warning us about just how bad something can become.

These are the so-called Utopias and Dystopias, and they are both a great compass and magnifying glass, when operated by Idealization.

3 — Henrique Pousão’s Painting

There was a moment when Pousão understood he would not be satisfied with what he was portraying.

That he would be missing something if he kept on painting the initial, sketched, version of the child’s portrait. So he Interrupted it.

Seeking the noble beauty he had first envisioned would cost him authenticity. By pursuing the classic canon, the stylised portrait that is set to elevate Art from the mundane (with its picturesque backgrounds and romanticised beauty) Pousão would then be blind to the real boy.

Blind to a shy smile concealed by proud eyes. He would never notice the elegance with which the child’s ragged, old, shoes touch the ground like a ballerina. And the chance to capture a manner so subtle, so enriched with truth, would be lost.

Roar back at the loud command of expectations. Both your own and all others. Understand that you also take part in shaping the concepts that are so often taken as truth.

Doing so widens possibility. Look beyond present conventions and morals. Shape this structure, because it will eventually also change your own views in a loop. Society is an ever mutable cycle of transformation. Check any history book.

The ability to sacrifice one’s present vision and opinion is the great virtue of adaptability. To be always permeable, taking pride in once being wrong and honouring not being sure of anything.

Embracing reality in its full scope, even when contradictory or hurtful, is to be synchronised with its complexity.

Facing ugliness with a wholesome disposition is what got us using Viruses, infectious agents responsible for taking countless lives, to Cure such diseases as cancer.

4 — Your Observation as a Painter

Though the paint didn’t move, the painting has changed. It’s no longer the one you’ve first seen. It has been painted over.

For every new observation a pigment has been added. colours been deepened and shapes widen.

In any sport, game or activity, enjoyment consists in taking part, is being committed to imprint your individuality, feeling and being engaged.

You stood, facing the canvas, in the position of a Painter. Ready to pick up the brush Pousão so thoughtfully left within your reach at the left of the canvas. Reminding that it up to you to give colour to any observation.

Facing the fact that we are painters of our impressions is as empowering as liberating. It offers the world as a palette to explore, strengthening our ties with everything and setting observation as an act of creation.

In a strange way the freedom granted for painters, to enthusiastically and with imagination depict their views, don’t set them apart from reality.

Quite the contrary, it allows them a stronger connection and sensibility with it, as it promotes inquiry and critical sense. The absolute contrary of Apathy, the great responsible for neglecting one’s relation to knowledge.

If you weren’t a painter, then Pousão’s masterpiece would have a painting less: Yours, an ever-changing piece.

There is no such thing as empty things or people. Just elements filled with something you haven’t yet learned to see.

By keeping in check Pousão’s lessons things appear less solid and more like an interplay of invisible fabrics. A tissue of colours filled with nuance, waiting to be experienced from every angle.

If everyone is looked at as a painter, then discussions are more fluid, people more tolerant, observation more engaging, and things just a lot more interesting to look at.

Do you remember becoming aware of something you were blind to? What?

[suitov]

Komaegi Week: Garden

“I’m sorry it’s not a normal kind of date.  I just remembered I’d agreed to help Shikiba and I didn’t want to cancel on you outright...”

“For all the experience I have, this could be a completely normal date!” said Nagito cheerfully.

“But do you know what Celeste said when I told her?  She said ‘Well, I wouldn’t trust you pair of submissive lambikins around any kind of tools’...”  Makoto unlocked the garden shed.  “But then I asked if she meant she wanted to come help, and she said ‘That’s what I have men for, dear’.  Like, make up your mind!”

“It’s not as though we’re doing anything dangerous,” said Nagito, picking up a trowel and giving it an uncertain heft.

“He even labelled them for us, he said.”  Sure enough, Makoto found the small sack marked Early Onions without difficulty.

Nagito had found some gardening gloves; he handed Makoto a second pair.  See, they were off to a great start!

“All right.  He said it’s this bed over here, the one under the cherry tree…”

Nagito followed him with the rest of the gear, sparing the tree a wry look.  It was bare, of course, being February.  No blossoms for Makoto’s birthday.  But maybe there would be for Nagito’s!  He could take Nagito to look at them.  Yes, they’d go together and they’d hold hands—Nagito would finally agree to let people see they were dating, he’d realise he was worthy of Makoto—better yet, he’d realise there was no such thing as worthy, and then maybe… maybe they’d kiss!  In front of the trees and everyone!  Now there was a hopeful thought.

Makoto tripped over his feet in excitement and planted his face in the bare earth.

“Are you inspecting the beds personally?” asked Nagito with all that subtle irony he displayed sometimes.

“Yeah, something like that.”  Makoto picked himself off, brushed off his nose and the knees of his uniform pants—on reflection, he should’ve done like Nagito had and changed into something more casual before heading off to grub around in the dirt.  He’d been too excited to think about details.  Cute guy and all that.

Nagito smoothly folded his long legs into a kneel.  “Ah… Shikiba really didn’t leave much to chance.”  He held up a hand-drawn diagram of a bulb, tiny feathery roots and all, firmly labelled PLANT THIS END DOWN.

They set to work.

“I guess everyone thinks we’re that hopeless,” said Makoto with a rueful grin.

Nagito’s laugh was gentle, as if apologising for its audibility.  Makoto wanted to hear it more often.  “Then they’re wrong.  It’s never hopeless with Makoto around.  By definition.”

“Are you talking about—ah, Nagito, you know Ultimate Hope is just a nickname my classmates came up with!  Now I think about it, it must have been after I tried cheering Toko up one too many times…”

“That many Ultimates can’t be wrong, that’s what I always say,” said Nagito, who was capable of digging in his heels on certain topics every bit as effectively as he was currently digging in the onion bulbs.

Makoto stuck out his tongue, but he continued in Nagito’s wake, patting down the soil and giving the bulbs their first watering-can baths.

It looked as though, in spite of certain people’s expectations, their task would soon be finished without any disasters at all.

“I wonder how long until we see them growing,” said Makoto.  Dim recollections arose of the time he’d planted an acorn and checked back hourly on its progress, before running to his mother at dinner time in tears because it hadn’t become a tree.  Hey, he’d been five, all right?!

“Assuming my accursed presence hasn’t poisoned them somehow,” Nagito offered cheerfully.  “Knowing my luck, they’ll all wither and the soil will go completely barren, or they’ll grow into homicidal monsters, or…”

“Or,” said Makoto, before the ball of hypothetical horrors could really get rolling, “what if it’s good luck instead, and they all grow big and beautiful and tasty in stir fries?”

“Oh, no, I think I’ve already identified the good luck in this situation,” said Nagito with hooded eyes.

“Really?  What’s th— Nagito, why’s your bag glowing?”

Nagito followed his eyes.  He took off his gloves and opened his book bag.  “Ah...” he said.

Makoto realised what it was just before Nagito produced his wand.  The weird, dark metal wand, one of the pair they’d found by accident while out walking together.  Glowing, which was why they’d originally seen them, but hadn’t happened since then.

“Do you think it senses danger?”

Makoto picked up his own backpack.

“Ha!  So you don’t want to be far from yours either?”

“I feel all uneasy and lonely if I get too far away from it, a little like when I’m away from… um, from home,” Makoto quick-thinkingly unadmitted. Ha, and to think Kyoko had called him an open book!  “But mine isn’t glowing, look, so either it doesn’t mean that or… heehee… I’m the threat.”

Nagito gasped dutifully at Makoto’s fierce face and intimidating flex.  But he did grin a little.  “If I ever find the Ultimate Hope is my adversary, I’m switching sides.”

Makoto zipped his backpack up again.  “So maybe yours wants you to transform.  You could try it.”

“I don’t even know how it happened the first time.  Do you?”

“Um, no.” Makoto frowned and touched his chin with a knuckle, a gesture he’d unconsciously picked up from Nagito.  “Maybe wave it around?  Twirl with it?  Is there a magic word written on it…?”

“No, no and no,” said Nagito dizzily.  “I don’t even think I was thinking anything special that first time.  All I remember was—um, well, that surely wasn’t it.”

Makoto leaned forward like a puppy seeing a ball.  “What?  What?”

“Oh, nothing… um.”  Nagito squirmed.  “I was just feeling very… extremely ga—”

It happened immediately.  Nagito’s formerly quivering fingers clamped firmly around the wand and he struck an unlikely pose, spine bent such that somehow his chest and his rear were in view at once.  Blood-red ribbons of light spilled out and cocooned him.  Makoto even thought he heard a faint theme song.

Nagito’s high heels touched the ground again.  He looked down and smoothed his slinky red cocktail dress.

Makoto choked on a giggle.  At the questioning look, he said, “They’re back…”

“What are—oh no.”  Nagito reached up and tugged at one fuzzy cat ear. “Magical girl and catboy now?  How is this reasonable?”

“I don’t know about reasonable, but it’s cute.”

“Yes, but we didn’t even turn into cats… dog… animal people on the same day—they were completely separate incidents!”

“Maybe your magic wand found it cute too.”

Nagito’s fluffy white tail lashed.  He started to lick a hand, then thrust it embarrassedly behind his back.  “And what was even the point of this?” he demanded of the magic wand.

“Ooh…” said Makoto.

“…just trying to have a normal date with a very adorable boy and you go around glowing and, and giving people hairy ears willy-nilly…”

“Um…” said Makoto, who was all squeaky inside after being described as very adorable.

“…appreciate some idea of what you want me to do here.  I mean, magical girl powers aren’t exactly something the guidance counsellor can help with, and I’ve asked her…”

“Nagito, look!”

“…said it wasn’t even the weirdest thing she’s been asked by a student at this school, which is saying somethi—yes, Makoto?”

Makoto mutely pointed.

“…oh,” said Nagito, accurately.

The onions were growing.

The onions were growing big…

“Nyaow!” Nagito hissed and swiped his wand at a waist-high bundle of leaves.  The leaves took no notice, neither to attack him nor to quail away from his indignant hiss.  The bulb at the base of those leaves, half submerged in soil, was massive, more like the size of a pumpkin.

The onions stopped growing with a self-satisfied chlorophyllic creak.

“Uh,” said Makoto.

“…Yeah,” said Nagito, slinking farther away from the garden bed before anything else could happen.

“So that was…”

“It sure was…”

“Do you think that’s your magic power?  Nagito, that’s such a cool power! They’re blooming like crazy!”

“I don’t think onions bloom, do they?”

“I have no idea, but I’m pretty sure they don’t normally do that, either.”

They stared at the vegetable garden a little more.  Then, both at once, they started laughing.

“Onions, right? Pungent and making people cry.  Perfect imagery for me!”

“Nooooo, onions are good!  They’re good in cooking, they give things flavour, and… they have like, circles.  What’s the word?  Like layers!  They’re complicated, just like you!”

“You think I’m good?”  Makoto realised Nagito had stopped laughing.

“Yes, silly catboy, I think you’re very good.”  He stuck out his tongue, just to be extra convincing.

Nagito wordlessly reached out and brushed a petal out of his hair.

“And I’m not sorry we’re dating, even if weird stuff like this happens every time.”  A falling petal tickled his nose.  He rubbed it with the back of his gardening glove.  “At least I get to experience the weird stuff with you.”

Nagito shuffled his feet.  Or maybe he was just trying to keep the heels from sinking into the grass.  He rubbed the back of his neck, trailing the red veils that formed part of his distractingly alluring outfit.  They looked kind of nice, spangled with pink petals.

“Wait a minute,” said Makoto, looking up.

At the riotously blossoming cherry tree.

They gawped at each other, framed in falling flowers.  Then one of them reached for the other’s hand, and later on neither remembered who it had been.

They did remember the kisses, though.  So it was a pretty good date after all.