#so often we get a transformation even if subtle to change how we view these characters

[puzzledemigod]

Ok so at the beginning of the movie Pinocchio is kinda scary right? His limbs are too long and he's not wearing clothes and he's half unfinished and the way he moves his face is unsettling (you're used to the mechanical movement of the other humans at that point so the use of replacement to show the emotions leaves a wooden, static effect on his features at all times). He keeps repeating phrases and speaks too loudly and doesn't read the room and doesn't feel pain. It would be threatening or mocking if it was on purpose, and even it not being was at least a bit cringy. It's very much Geppetto's point of view: you tried to bring your son back but he came back wrong and now he's destroying whatever life you had left

And then the movie goes on and Pinocchio doesn't really change; he understands better, he starts to listen to those around him and to see what people need, but he's still gangly and awkward and loud, he still breaks things and doesn't show emotion the way other people do, is still undeniably other.

But he shows he was absorbing everything Sebastian told him; he payed attention to others who were, like him, exploited for being weak. He comforted, protected, saved, risked himself for his father, who seemingly rejected him. For the kid who bullied him. For the monkey who was the reason he was enslaved. We don't know if he was empathetic to these people but he had such a strong concept of justice and of fairness, he was so pure of all the hate being spat in the society he was born in, that he stood against it without a second thought.

And at that point I realised, without him having anything physically changed about him to make him more relatable, that I stopped seeing him as other, as weird, as menacing. He had the same energy and emotions but by then he was just another kid, he was a cute and sweet boy who I'd do anything to protect, who was in danger

And he didn't have to change a thing about himself!! It's us and Geppetto and Cricket and Candlewick and Spazzatura and the world around him who have to come around and accept him. And we do, eventually, and I think that was so beautiful

[mylastmoleculeofserotonin]

One of my favorite things about KATAOW is Wolf’s character development. It’s so subtle and gradual that on my first viewing of it, I didn’t really notice it until the end of each season.

I feel like Season 1 could be used as a masterclass for this kind of character development. Even though there are major changes in the way she lives, they don’t change her immediately. At the start of the show, Wolf’s life fundamentally changes by living with another person, but she is basically the same as how she was before for about the first 4 episodes. However, during this time, she disagrees with Kipo on just about everything, but the way they resolve conflict slowly gets better and better, going from physically fighting over eating/keeping Mandu in “Burrow Girl” to Wolf willingly going along with Kipo’s plans in “Cactus Town” and even risking her life to do so again in “The Astronomers in Turtlenecks.” But even after that, they don’t start working seamlessly together. Wolf still is the person who she was before she met Kipo, putting herself and her security above everything else. But in “Tad Mullholland,” we see that this now is beginning to encompass her long-neglected social needs, which then comes into conflict with her physical safety in “Mute-Eat-Mute World” where we see her instinctively prioritizing her physical safety above all else.

But by the end of Season 1 and the start of Season 2, we see that Wolf’s concerns over physical safety, have grown to encompass the safety of Kipo and the others as well. This is a very subtle and important change which turns her rugged survivalist mentality into a more fiercely protective one, as showcased in “The Goat Cheese Prophecy” and “To Catch a Deathstalker,” where Wolf is more than willing to charge headfirst into danger to protect Kipo. But then, in “Benson and the Beast,” when Kipo is able to transform whenever she needs to, Wolf suddenly is not in charge of protecting Kipo and the others, which takes that stress off of Wolf and makes room for her to trust Kipo and actively participate in her plans for redeeming Scarlemange in “Sympathy for the Mandrill” and “All That Glitters.” This building trust eventually culminates in “Heroes on Fire” where Wolf has no weapon to fight with and she actually asks Dave for help, which was a small thing but made me pause the episode to appreciate how far Wolf had come.

In Season 3, Wolf gets a new weapon to replace Stalky, which I choose to take as an indication of how Wolf changes in this season. Her new rope dart not only compensates for all the disadvantages she had when fighting Emelia (reach, contests of brute strength, etc.) but also has non combative uses as well (ie restraining people and climbing). However, one of the biggest differences is the fact that it is often out of sight and not always in her hand. This both symbolically and literally shows that Wolf drawing her weapon to fight is a choice now that Kipo can turn full Mega and all of these properties of her new weapon are shown in “A Wolf in Wolf’s Clothing” where she makes the conscious choice to stop fighting Margot and helping her instead. When she chooses to do this, she does it because of how being around Kipo has influenced her and made her more willing to make peace with people instead of fighting them. Unfortunately Wolf does not, in my opinion, get enough screen time in Season 3, but we do see little instances where she chooses to do things the Kipo way such as getting the other HMUFA members to set traps for the invading humans instead of waging an all out war in “It’s a Trap” and stopping Kipo from sinking Emelia’s ship in “Requiem for a Dave.” She even agrees to do Prahm Kipo’s way as a genuine party instead of using it to kill Emelia, which was particularly cool to see because it took her some time to overcome her desire to protect Kipo and actually let her take this risk, but not only because she knows that Kipo can defend herself if worse comes to worst, but because she understands that it’s the right thing to do. She not only comes around to supporting Kipo, but gets Scarlemange to do so too and even prevents him from mind controlling people again, not because Kipo said so, but because she understands that it’s morally wrong. Everything then culminates for Wolf’s development in the show when she takes off her wolf skin and symbolically letting go of her old worldview for good in the name of peace and cooperation and then stops fighting Greta in “Age of the Wonderbeasts” to convince her to break free from Emelia and her manipulation.

And I think that this is a beautiful ending for Wolf’s arc. Not everything was wrapped up neatly for her, but she’s gotten to a point now where she can heal and move forward from her past to find an identity for herself within a community, and while we don’t know who she will eventually become, I think it really works because it shows us that we don’t need to know where we want to end up as people, but that just being around the right people will, by it’s very nature, change us and that this type of growth is possible for anyone. And I think KATAOW nails this in the subtlety of Wolf’s growth and that it just emerges because she spent so much time with Kipo.

Anyways. This was a lot longer of a post than I intended to write, so if you’ve made it this far, thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

[half-filled-inkpot]

Go Stream Your Name Engraved Herein NOW

I’m tired of people dismissing the depth and beauty of works because they don’t understand the cultural and historical context and are unwilling to delve deeper. I’ve heard the vocal confusion and dismissal of the short film Bao and the complaints that the Mahjong scene in Crazy Rich Asians was too long and too difficult to understand for people who’ve never played Mahjong. But I won’t let this mentality negatively frame the reception of Your Name Engraved Herein. I’ve read too many interpretations of the movie that will influence how many people will watch it and hinder appreciation for it and I cannot sit idly by. So here’s why I appreciated and loved Your Name Engraved Herein and think that what other people interpreted as shortcomings are actually in fact strengths. 

In 2019, Taiwan approved same-sex marriage, marking a step of progress in Asia. Reviews of the film Your Name Engraved Herein view that this forward direction should be celebrated more throughout the film, believing that the heavy mood and painful scenes of bigotry hindered the potential of the film. Many have thought that the toxic values of the past dominated the film’s atmosphere, casting a somber mood and making it difficult to stomach. But I think these elements were essential in reminding us that not everyone had the opportunity to love openly and celebrate, and although Taiwan has made progress, what about those that grew up under a time where such rights were denied? 

I think the film is an intimate and beautiful homage to the people who lived through such a difficult time and had to fight for such rights--the director’s own experiences, the reference to activist Chi Chia-wei. Despite the tough topics and the painful bullying that we see, I think the film ends with beautiful light and hope. 

Spoilers ahead

Where critically acclaimed and famous Taiwanese films like Us and Them and You Are the Apple of My Eye use flashbacks to create an air of nostalgia and to remind us that maybe all we have to share is our past, untouchable memories, Your Name Engraved Herein uses flashbacks and time leaps to instead paint a more hopeful future. Their first love was an epic story. It’s painful realizing that they never got the same privilege as so many of us to have a happy family or spend life together, growing old. But where the protagonists in Us and Them and You Are the Apple of My Eye only have the past, our Jia-Han and Birdy have the future for the taking. Jia-Han’s younger self once held reservation and denial but he has instead transformed into one willing to accept his love and act on it, searching for Birdy despite the years. Despite the time and distance, they still share the same lively and youthful banter. While one may interpret the ending scene of what could’ve been and what they were cheated of, I like to think of it as a reunion instead. They are finally able to return to maybe the most tumultuous but also happiest time of their life. Now, with the recent change in Taiwan, they finally have a chance to make more memories together. 

I loved the framing of the story and think it demanded audience engagement. The movie opens with Jia-Han meeting Birdy. We then see that Jia-Han is reminiscing about his story with Birdy to the priest from Montreal that works at the Catholic all-boy’s boarding school. Immediately, Jia-Han’s and Birdy’s connection is apparent. They have furtive glances, genuine concern, and intimate moments. Birdy at first seems free-spirited, without fear of the opinions of others and authority. He’s vocal, righteous, and a bit rebellious. Jia-Han, in contrast, is more timid, constantly aware of the opinions of others and the rules. While he knows what is wrong and feels bad about it, he often follows or acts as a complacent party. But as Birdy and Jia-Han witness the detaining of activist Chi Chia-wei, we see that Birdy is more introspective and serious, unable to turn a blind-eye of the issues still prevalent despite the recent end of martial law in Taiwan. And Jia-Han, in the presence of Birdy, is more carefree and happy. It’s as if they have switched and turned off their outside persona. Birdy’s impulsivity gives Jia-Han joy and only Jia-Han’s presence can qualm Birdy’s inner thoughts and worries. We get to see how these characters deeply value each other. As the evening sets and the world around falls to slumber, it feels as if they are the only ones in the world and we, as viewers, are fully immersed in their story. The cinematography is halting as we see them zoom around in the city alone, untouched and in their own worlds. 

Jia-Han feels as if the world revolved only around them. So when Ban-Ban walks into the picture, I was awed by Jia-Han’s portrayal of jealousy and felt his pain because he was unable to walk by the side of Birdy in the way that he wanted to. The actor’s body language sells a stellar performance, but it is the dialogue and outburst at the father who is attempting to tend to Jia-Han’s wounds that show Jia-Han’s raw and powerful emotions. Whether or not it was intentional by the director, I think at this moment we question the timeline and framing of the story. What events led up to this moment with Jia-Han’s major head wound? When the priest says “If he doesn’t love you, don’t force him to” and “care doesn’t necessarily mean love,” I was stunned by this exchange, thinking that it was quite evident that Birdy and Jia-Han had love for each other. But then it made me ponder if this narrative told only from Jia-Han’s point of view was a deliberate choice made for us to question perspective and reality, how our vision becomes tainted when our feelings are involved. The powerful performance and film raised such immediate questions, causing wonder as we viewed the film in real time instead of afterwards, which made for a delightful and thought-provoking experience. 

In a truly climatic point, we finally see how all of the events led to the current moment. We see how Jia-Han gets a head injury and how the priest becomes his confidant. This pivotal mark not only has an approximately two hour momentum, but it is also powerfully performed by our two leads who at this point are passionate, protective, and broken-hearted. We witness a full range of love. Initially, at the beginning, we saw subtle and restrained affection, fleeting touches, and silent companionship. But as the story progresses, we see that these feelings can no longer be bottled. There are moments of visible and passionate concern and instinctual attempts at protection. This development shows the complexity, beauty, and pain of love. It is truly a breath-taking thing to see come alive on screen. While Jia-Han at this point becomes ready to vocalize and admit his feelings, Birdy is unable to and their lives diverge. 

A time leap gives us privy to Jia-Han’s closure. After he visits the resting grounds of the priest from his high-school days, he is able to offer his support to who is hinted to be the priest’s lover, reassuring that he was a good man, that the love was true, and that he will go to heaven. The reveal that the priest is gay encourages viewers to rewatch the dialogue with this new information to help drive our new interpretations. 

Already, I have re-watched this tear-jerking film a number of times. The steady pacing makes each scene seem essential despite the long 1 hour and 54 minute run time. Yet it passes quickly and we are left yearning for more. Aesthetically pleasing, the beautiful shots underscored by the accompanying, swelling music provide stunning visuals. As the camera focuses on the two leads, their outbursts don’t appear as overly done or too dramatic. Rather, the performances feel heart-breakingly real. In part, I think this is built on the focus on the details. The camera seems to linger a little longer on the faces of the actors, making us fully digest what they are conveying to us. This attention to detail highlights everything spoken and unspoken. 

I highly recommend this film. It reminds us that not everyone is fortunate and we all still have room for progress. But simultaneously it is tender and heart-warming, moving and touching, poignant and thoughtful. The powerful dynamic between the leads, the artistic filming, and the strong performance elevate this film to a truly inspiring, epic love story. Everything about it feels deliberate, personal and handcrafted gift for us to truly treasure. So I will cherish it and share it and I hope you do too.

[scapegrace74-blog]

New Ways of Turning into Stone, Chapter 3

A/N As promised, Jamie returns in this chapter.  He has an appointment to keep, after all.   Because I can’t think of anything more creative, this chapter is entitled “Second Appointment”.  For previous chapters, your best bet is to check out the story on my AO3 page.

The week both crept and flew past, like one of those dreams in which she ran until her lungs burned, but never managed to get anywhere.  Kinetic motion trapped in amber.   Claire never did tell Geillis about her excursion to Corstorphine Hill over the weekend, embarrassed by how it had ended.  

And now it was Thursday.  She’d opted for a protein smoothie for lunch, a meal with no chance of leaving leafy residue between her teeth.  It was likely wasted vanity.  As two o’clock drew near, she bargained with herself to abandon any hope she may be harbouring.  Jamie Fraser had shown no interest in participating in the psychiatric process during his first appointment.  Fraternal obligation had brought him to her office once, but he didn’t strike her as a man who yielded the reins of his life easily.  It wasn’t likely he would return.

When it came his distinctive knock, crisp and insistent, caught her unawares, even though she’d just been staring at his name in her planner.  She hastily pushed the items on her desk to one side, patted uselessly at her curls, and called out for him to enter.

“Good afternoon, Doctor Beauchamp,” he greeted cautiously.  “Miss Duncan told me tae come straight in.”

There was something different about him today.  His clothing, certainly.  Instead of casual wear, he wore trousers and a button down, wet splotches over the shoulders attesting to the fact that it had begun raining again.  And while he still took up an inordinate amount of space in her small office, he seemed... diminished, somehow.  A paler echo of the fireworks display of his first visit.

“Of course.  Please have a seat, Mister Fraser.”

“Jamie, if you will,” he corrected as he settled gingerly into the armchair.  “Mister Fraser was my Da.”

Something about his tone and the fact his laser blue eyes wouldn’t meet her own as he spoke the words caused her to lean into his statement.

“Did your father pass away recently, Jamie?”

A moment, an indrawn breath of panic, and then it was cleverly masked with a wry glance.

“Aye, last year.  An’ yer no’ very subtle, doctor.”

“I didn’t realize subtlety was called for,” she parried.  “You made another appointment, and I specialize in grief counselling.  Why else would you be here?”

Despite the fact that it wasn’t productive from a psychiatric point of view, she enjoyed his reluctance to hastily expose his inner demons.  Too often, her practice required her to work carefully in order to avoid shaping the pliable emotions of her patients.  While obviously hurting, Jamie had an unflinching, unalterable quality that she admired.  Not to mention that the intellectual game of cat and mouse they were playing was wildly stimulating.

“I suppose I enjoyed our conversation,” Jamie teased.  “An’ Miss Duncan’s shortbread.”

With an awkward squint that she imagined was meant to be a wink, her patient rose to investigate the current offerings on her tea table.

“Och, petit fours!” he exclaimed with childlike glee and perfect French pronunciation.  “There was a café none too far from my flat in Paris tha’ made these.  I’d often grab some on my way tae the office.”

He returned to the desk with a small plate of the pastries, pushing it towards her as he settled into his seat.

“No, thank you.  I’ve just eaten.”

Like a searchlight, his bright eyes didn’t miss much.  He glanced significantly at the half-empty plastic smoothie container to one side of her desk.  Rather than chide her for her austerity, as Geillis frequently did, he instead made a show of biting into each of the four little squares until there was nothing left but crumbs.  Her stomach muttered in complaint.

“What did you do in Paris?” she asked as he finished his snack with a contented sigh.

“Oh, a wee bit of this and that,” he demurred.  In response to her exasperated look, he continued, “I started out at the Bourse.  Futures, options, arbitrage, that sort of thing.  I have a good ear fer languages, sae from there I went into foreign exchange.  Import export, and the like.”

“You’re a financier?” she asked, somewhat more incredulous than she ought to be.  She wasn’t certain what she had pictured James Fraser doing for a living, but greasing the wheels of capitalism definitely wasn’t it.

“Was,” he corrected.  “I quit an’ came home tae Scotland last year.”

“When your father died,” she guessed.

“Aye.”

She once again had the sense of standing in front of a locked door that Jamie had no intention of opening.  Rather than hammer uselessly on its stubborn surface, she nimbly diverted the conversation sideways.

“What do you do for work now?”

A slow blink followed by a dawning smile indicated he was aware of her stratagem.

“I’m a carpenter.”

It was rare for Claire to be truly surprised by people.  She made a living reading their unspoken cues.  Twice in the same conversation was unheard of.

“A carpenter?” she repeated as though she hadn’t heard him perfectly well the first time.

“Aye.  Like Jesus, ye ken?”

With a quicksilver grin, Jamie launched into a description of his current occupation, which involved the making of reproduction antiques and custom pieces for clients around Scotland.  She realized with a start that she’d read an article about his business in a popular local magazine.  

International financier.  Self-made entrepreneur.  Tall drink of water.  James Fraser had a lot of things going for him.  And yet here he sat, paying her by the hour to listen to him avoid talking about whatever hardship had befallen him.

She mentally composed a list of the topics he was deftly avoiding with his charming anecdotes.  His father’s recent death.  The reason behind a radical change in career.  Living in the city on account of unspoken ‘family obligations’, even though his verbal reminiscence of the Highlands was so poetic it damn near made her cry.  There was something raw just below the surface of his nonchalance, and her innate curiosity cried out to find out what it was.

“You told me last week that your sister, Jenny, insisted you attend counselling.  But you said that you’re handling matters fine on your own.  Can you tell me why your sister believes otherwise?”

It might have been amusing to see such a large man squirm in different circumstances.  His left hand furrowed through his hair, setting the autumn waves on end.  His mouth, so recently relaxed and mobile as he eagerly shared the details of his craft, froze in a pained frown.  She considered whether she had pushed too hard too soon.

“I gave a lot of thought tae what ye said when we parted last week,” Jamie began at last.  “Tae be honest, it haunted me.  Jen kens me better than anyone, an’ while I like tae complain tha’ she meddles where she doesna belong, the truth is she’s truly scared fer me.  An’ even if I dinna agree tha’ my lifestyle is cause fer concern, I owe it tae her tae try tae sort myself out.  I owe her far more than that,” he finished with a rueful shake of his head.

“What kind of lifestyle has your sister so worried?” she probed.

“Whisky, women and song,” he quipped, before adding, “Weel, I canna carry a tune, but twa out of three isna half bad.”

He tried to smile away the awkward tension that descended on the office, the air ripe with unspoken words.  Claire felt disappointment whirlpool in her gut.  Just another charming rake, after all.  It really shouldn’t matter, and yet somehow it did.  More than she dared to admit.

“Yes, well, the road of excess leads to the palace of consequences, ” she sniffed at last, angry at herself for sounding like a schoolmarm.  What a bore she must seem to him, with her regimented behaviour and rigid morals.

Jamie rose abruptly, and for a half-second she imagined he might lunge at her, or storm from the room.   Instead, he spun around to face the door.  Without a word, he untucked his shirt and began to expose his lower back.

Claire was momentarily stunned silent.  Just as she managed to draw a deep enough breath to censure Jamie for his highly inappropriate strip tease, the golden velour of his lower back transformed without warning into a furrowed landscape of scar tissue, ripples and craters left by some massive trauma.  The air left her lungs on a questioning sigh.

“I ken all about consequences, Doctor Beauchamp,” he stated.  “I live with them every moment of my life.”

Her fingers found the knotted skin, surprisingly warm and mobile beneath her touch.  A shiver shimmered over the unmarred muscle of his flanks.

Before she could find any appropriate words of apology, the office door opened and Geillis stuck her head in.  She barked a cough upon seeing Jamie’s state of undress and Claire’s position, leaning across her desk.  Doctor and patient jumped apart like opposing magnets.

“Sae sorry for the interruption, but yer three o’clock is here.  Should I tell her ye’ve been... delayed?”

Jamie muttered an obscenity under his breath which Claire whole-heartedly seconded.  There was no way Geillis wasn’t going to be utterly insufferable about this.

“Mister Fraser was just leaving, Geillis.”

With a lewd wink and a nod, the door closed.

“Look, Jamie...” she began just as he apologized.  “I’m sae sorry, lass.”

They both laughed nervously.  Jamie finished tucking his shirt into his pants and turned to face the desk.

“I hope this willna cause ye any difficulties with Miss Duncan,” he began, eyes wide with concern.

“No more so than usual,” she sighed. “Geillis is a good friend.  She just... doesn’t know when to quit, sometimes,” she explained.

“Sounds jus’ like my sister.  Perhaps we should introduce them.”

She smiled, struggling to find something else to say to move past the moment.  She could hear Geillis and her next patient conversing just outside the door.  There was no time left for subtlety.

“Will I see you again next week, Jamie?” she asked, giving up on finding a more oblique way of phrasing the question that was reverberating through her mind.

Jamie’s bashful smile dipped towards the floor, causing his hair to fall in front of his eyes.

“Aye.  I’ll even keep my clothes on, if ye ask nicely.”

It was that smile, that hair, those eyes, that carried her through the rest of her week, aloft on the anticipation of something utterly forbidden.

[the-himawari]

A3! 4th Anniversary Book [AIR] Translation - Q&A

This is the familiar Q&A project from the Anniversary Book series!

We asked about interesting points from the main and backstage stories.

*Please read disclaimer on blog

---

Q: What kind of school is Fuyou University, which Masumi and Madoka attend?

A: It’s a famous, private university with a standard score of 70 or above. It has affiliated hospitals and schools, and it has a strong image of being attended by well-known and wealthy people. Incidentally, Tsumugi and Tasuku are uni alumni, and Kazunari attended the attached junior high.

Q: Please tell us about Tenma and Hiro’s recent entertainment activities.

A: Tenma entered the top ranks of the popularity ranking in the youth category and his number of commercial jobs increased. As for Hiro, his offers from overseas began to increase, and he is currently training hard in English. It seems there are many voices calling out for a Tenma & Hiro tag-team, taking advantage of the opportunity from the Act-off and special drama where they co-starred together.

Q: Please tell us about the Japanese culture that’s mainstream in Zafra.

A: In addition to classic games, anime, and sushi, character mascots are also a famous genre. Rumour has it that a certain prince is preparing for a competition to create a mascot character for the king…

Q: Please tell us about the interactions between the first generation leaders and the new members, and also what changes they brought about that the dorm. A: It’s not that frequent, but it seems the adult group sometimes meets up and drinks together at Guy’s bar. Also, when they found out Syu was paying the dorm’s utility bills, some people began saving more than before, while on the other hand, some people were less reserved…

Q: What kind of shows can you watch at Zen’s show restaurant?

A: They’re mainly dance performances by dancers, but there are also magic shows and musical performances by jazz bands. He often pulls in many unknown, but excellent performers, and quite a few people have spread their wings from there.

Q: Please let us know how Azami feels after using the cosmetics he brought from Zafra.

A: “The eyeshadow was by far the best. The fine texture was soft, and most importantly, the pigmentation was top tier. There were lots of flashy colours, but I think there were also a bunch of subtle glitter and sheer shades that are surprisingly easy to use. I also feel like the primers ain’t bad. They’re rich in beauty treatment ingredients so they don’t damage your skin much and—(rest is omitted)”, is what he said.

Q: What type of work was “Robot Ranger” that Tasuku liked when he was young?

A: It is a science fiction work where the main character, who aims to be the best engineer in the universe, uses the transformation device he developed to fight against evil, extra-terrestrial monsters with his friends. Although it received high ratings from adults since the contents were quite elaborate, the amount of toys sold was somewhat lacking since children couldn’t keep up. It has a rather peculiar position within the series.

Q: Please tell us what kind of plays Syu usually performs?

A: Basically, the first part is a play, and the second part is a dance show. Many of the plays are historical plays based off of Kabukis. A singing show is also incorporated sometimes, so if you’re lucky, you might be able to hear Syu’s singing voice…?

Q: Please tell us if there were any settings that weren’t revealed for A7!, which was held for April Fool’s.

A: Actually, there are 4 animals: The hamster Kasumi, the cheetah Hiro, the black panther Zen, and the wolf Syu. They’re retired nowadays, so they rarely appear.

Q: Please tell us about the bar that Guy is running.

A: It’s still a shop that’s only well-know to those in the know, but it’s gaining popularity from office workers (both men and women) on their way home, as they feel soothed by Guy’s composed aura and slightly air-headed personality. Of course, the alcohol and food also have a good reputation.

Q: If Yuki and Kazunari have come up with nicknames for the first gen. leaders, please secretly let us know.

A: Kasumi was given the nicknames, “fairy tale uncle” and “Kasuminu” that he asked for himself. Kazunari seems to be thinking of nicknames for the other three but he says, “I’m still shrinking the distance between our hearts right now~”. Please anticipate Kazunari’s communication power.

Q: Stew was a standard on the menu for the first generation MANKAI Company, but what kind of stew did they have? Just like the current Company’s standard of curry, did they have a menu of different arrangements?

A: There were all kinds of stew like pumpkin stew, soymilk stew, corn stew, etc. that were served by Zen, but Yukio’s favourite was the classic cream stew. By the way, Yukio’s reaction when he said “stew” and was served beef stew is still a topic of conversation at drinking parties to this day.

Q: The number of Theatre members who have a driver’s license has increased, but has there been a change in their driving or shopping situations?

A: There hasn’t been a drastic change, but Banri gets called out to pick up and send his older sister, and Taichi seems to be steadily improving his driving skills by travelling to the neighbouring city’s supermarket sales during the evening when there’s not much traffic.

Q: The members held a training camp in Zafra as a cultural exchange, but please tell us if afterwards, there is a popular cultural trend, or Zafran words that the members use between them?

A: Zafran board games are still as popular as ever, and whenever a new product is released, they’re imported regularly and are highly sought after by the members. Also, since the Zafra training camp, seasonings made from kneading various chili peppers and spices with oil are popular too, and they are also sent over regularly from Zafra.

Q: The impression of Isuke when he just came to the dorm was told from Zen’s point-of-view, but please tell us about the first impression of Isuke from the other 3 leaders’ perspectives.

A: All of them unanimously thought, “he looks clumsy.”

---

[cherry-valentine]

Spring 2021 Anime Season

Mars Red is one of two series this season set in one of my favorite periods, the Meiji era. It’s a vampire series that deals a lot with the politics of war as the Japanese military is attempting to establish a vampire unit, supposedly to compete with the British vampire unit (because of course that’s a thing). It focuses on a human military officer named Maeda who is charged with recruiting and managing vampires. Maeda is the type of character I really enjoy. Handsome, a little older than most anime protagonists, chain-smoking, overly serious, and voiced by Junichi Suwabe (who has to have the sexiest voice in all of anime). The series has a classic, romantic feel to it. Its take on vampires is somewhat traditional (they evaporate in the sun, drink blood, sleep in coffins, have super strength and speed, etc.). If it brings anything new to the table, it’s the concept of vampires having different ranks, from S-class down, and how lower ranks naturally fear higher ranks. Still yet, the classic vibe works in the show’s favor. Combined with the historical setting, it gives the show a certain charm. The art is lovely, from the backgrounds to the character designs, and the music is a high point. It easily has the best ending theme of the season.

Fumetsu no Anata e (To Your Eternity) is a unique series. I’ve seen a lot of people comparing it to Mushishi, but with an overarching plot, and that assessment is pretty accurate. The show follows an entity that comes to be known as Fushi. It begins as an orb, and as it makes contact with other objects and creatures, it learns from them and can possibly take their forms. Among the forms it most often takes are a white wolf and a young man. Originally, it’s a somewhat empty shell, incapable of communicating, but as it meets different creatures and learns, it develops a personality and begins to speak. The series is, overall, about Fushi’s journey through this world and all the experiences it gains, both wonderful and tragic. There’s a subtle beauty to the series, with an early focus on nature, but it also has scenes of trauma and violence. The animation is fluid and the facial expressions are amazing. There’s an overall natural feel to it that, like others have pointed out, reminds me of Mushishi (though it’s definitely faster paced than Mushishi). The show also likes to make you cry, so keep that in mind.

Joran: The Princess of Snow and Blood is the other series set in the Meiji era this season, albeit an alternate version of it that has a strange form of technology. To be honest, I’m a little fuzzy on some of the details, but it seems to be about a group called the Nue who work for the government to fight against a growing rebellion. The main character is Sawa, a member of Nue who has some sort of special powers involving her blood, which allow her to transform and battle monsters, or whatever else stands in her way. Her goal is to get revenge for the death of her entire clan (implied to be wiped out because of their power). Sawa is a decent heroine, a woman who craves vengeance and is determined to get it through any means, but is, at her core, a compassionate person who would rather live in peace. It’s this internal conflict that makes Sawa compelling (even if it’s not entirely original). The other characters are interesting, particularly Tsuki, whom I won’t talk much about because it would involve spoilers. The plot and details can get a little convoluted, but the action and animation are solid. When Sawa transforms, the art style changes, and it’s a really cool visual effect. The music is also nice.

Shaman King received a remake this season. I was a huge fan of the original, and so far I’m enjoying the remake, but to be honest, I’m having trouble seeing the point. The art is almost the same (just a lot shinier), the voice actors are the same, the plot is the same. Maybe it’s just that it’s been so long since I saw the original, I’m unable to remember the details and so I can’t tell what’s different. But to me it feels like I’m just rewatching the show. Which is fine, because I loved it to begin with. Maybe it gets different later on. Maybe it more closely follows the manga. I’ll keep watching to find out. For anyone new to the series, it looks like the remake is a solid place to start if you want to get into it. I won’t go into plot details for a story this old, so I’ll just say it’s a top tier shounen fighting series with a unique art style and some very memorable characters. If you like that sort of thing, and missed the original (or you just want a refresher), definitely check it out!

Godzilla Singular Point is a true delight. I’m a huge Godzilla (and kaiju in general) fan. I’ve watched every single Godzilla movie, as well as all the related movies (the Mothra films, Rodan, etc.), but I never watched the previous Godzilla anime that was on Netflix a few years ago. It just didn’t sound like something I’d like. Singular Point, however, is right up my alley. Set mainly in a small seaside town that’s suddenly attacked by bird-like monsters known as Rodans, we have two geeky protagonists using their intelligence to figure out what’s going on while more and more monsters appear. Mei and Yun are excellent heroes. They rely on their wits rather than physical strength, which is a refreshing approach. It’s also interesting that they have little to no face-to-face interaction. Instead, they chat with each other via text as they work separately. They often challenge each other with science questions. It’s adorable. The show’s overall feel is fairly upbeat and energetic. The colorful art and peppy character designs by Kazue Kato (who did Blue Exorcist) help with this feel. It should be noted that Godzilla himself doesn’t fully appear until halfway through the series. It says a lot about the quality of the show that I don’t actually mind that at all. Some of the science stuff does go over my head, but the general plot is easy enough to follow and the action is very well done. It also has fantastic music, with my favorite opening theme of the season. Even if Godzilla isn’t your thing, consider giving this series a shot if you like nerdy science types as heroes.

Burning Kabaddi is a sports anime about an unsual sport. I’d never heard of it before now, and if people in the comments were not talking about the very real sport, I would have assumed it was made up for the anime. The show is aware that the sport is obscure, so it takes great pains to explain the rules and details so that we can all follow the action. The story centers on Yoigoshi, a soccer prodigy who decides to drop all sports once he gets to high school due to all the drama and angst that surrounded him (mostly due to his teammates being jealous of his talent), and pursue a career as a streamer. All the various sports clubs at the school want to recruit him (especially the soccer club, of course) because they’ve heard of his skill and he has an athletic build. He rejects them all, but the Kabaddi club is strangely relentless. He ends up being manipulated into joining (the vice captain of the team straight up blackmails him by threatening to show his online streaming account to the whole school). Despite this rocky beginning, Yoigoshi actually starts to enjoy playing Kabaddi, and more importantly, begins to bond with his new teammates. It’s pretty fun stuff that doesn’t take itself too seriously. The art is serviceable for a sports anime and the music is fine. The series isn’t going to blow your mind, but it’s a fun way to spend twenty minutes every week. Worth a watch if you have a weakness for hot blooded sports anime.

The World Ends With You finally got its anime adaptation and I was so excited. The game is one of my all-time favorites. So far the anime is pretty good. The art is a near perfect replication of the bold, thick-lined art of the game. The battles are exciting and cool. Best of all, the anime often uses music from the game. This is important because the game has one of the best soundtracks, ever. Every time I recognize a song from the game, I almost squeal. If I had a complaint, it’s that the pacing feels a little off at times. It feels like the anime is rushing through the story, but that’s understandable. In the game, it took longer for everything to happen because you were walking from place to place, fighting battles along the way, stopping to scan NPC’s, shopping at stores, spending time in menus, etc. The anime has to cut most of that out, so naturally things are going to move faster. The result is that you don’t get to spend as much time with these characters, and so you feel less attached to them. Anyone watching the anime who didn’t play the game might feel like the emotional beats are lacking. I feel like this anime is definitely meant to be enjoyed by fans of the game, rather than newcomers to the story. But if you are a fan of the game? You should be watching this every week. It’s an excellent refresher on the story, just in time for the second game to come out this summer. Super high on my watch list.

Boku no Hero Academia has a new season. To be honest I don’t remember what number we’re on. This season, so far, focuses on a tournament-style competition between the two main hero classes. I would much prefer the plot to move on to something more exciting involving the villains, but I suppose they have to throw arcs like this in every so often just to remind everyone of which characters have which quirks. The plus point is that instead of being an individual competition, it’s team-based. What this ultimately means is that characters that are viewed as weaker or having more obscure quirks actually get a chance to shine. These are characters who definitely aren’t going to win one-on-one battles. In an individual tournament, it’s pretty much a given that characters like Deku, Bakugou, and Todoroki are going to win most of the matches. But in a team, everyone has to work together. The end result is that the lady characters, all of whom have fairly weak or situational quirks, finally FINALLY get to actually do stuff! Even better, in several of the match-ups, the girls have taken the lead in planning and strategizing. It’s been pretty nice to watch. The girls from the other class have been very proactive as well. I really wish the girls could do more in “real” battles with villains, since it’s clear that they can step up when they need to. Who knows? Maybe this is a sign of good things to come.

86 is a new mecha/sci-fi anime based on a series of light novels. The setup is fairly cool: In a country where everyone has silver hair and eyes, the people live in what looks like a utopia. There is a war going on outside their protected land but all combat is performed by automated robots, so there are no human casualties... or so the government would have the people believe. In reality, there is a district that exists on the outskirts of the country called 86, where people who don’t have silver hair and eyes are sent to pilot the robots and fight to protect the country that shunned them. Most of the pilots are children or teenagers. The mortality rate is high. Only a few people in the government know of their existence, mostly military types that include “handlers”. These handlers each take on an 86 unit and communicate with them through a system called “para-raid”. Using this, they monitor the battlefield from their safe positions and issue commands. Naturally, most handlers view their units as nothing more than tools in the war, and most 86-ers view their handlers as privileged snobs who know nothing of actual battle. The real plot kicks in when Lena, a young Major, becomes the new handler for a particular 86 unit. Lena is sympathetic to the people of 86, but it’s going to be hard getting her notoriously rough unit to accept her. The plot is a bit complicated and the show deals with some weighty themes (racism, privilege, war, child soldiers, death). Lena is a likable enough heroine and the members of 86 are all interesting and fairly well written. The music is fine. The art... well, it’s pretty to look at, but it feels a bit generic to me. A bit too shiny. The mecha designs are great, but I’m not crazy about the character designs, which feel like they could be from any other modern anime. I also find it sad but hilarious at the same time that the women’s military uniforms are clearly designed for fanservice (they include mini skirts, thigh-highs with garters, and a short jacket that opens up just above the chest to show the tight shirt underneath) while the men’s uniforms are just totally normal military wear. To be honest it’s just too stupid to actually be offensive, so it comes across as comical. Thankfully, the interesting setup and plot carry the show, making it good enough to overlook the generic visuals.

Moriarty the Patriot has a new season... maybe? I think it’s technically still season one, but with a split cour. Regardless, it feels like a new season so I’m treating it as such. The series focuses on famous Sherlock antagonist Moriarty, here represented as a trio of handsome brothers (though one of them is clearly the protagonist and the leader of the group) who work as “crime consultants” and basically help the lower classes wage class warfare against the nobility. This season shifts the focus away from the individual crimes Moriarty concocts and instead focuses on larger-scale conflicts that involve government conspiracies, corrupt cops, etc. We’re also treated to a lady James Bond (finally!), fixing one of the very few complaints I had about the first cour (that it lacked strong lady characters). The show remains very compelling, with beautiful art and excellent new opening and ending themes.

Best of Season:

Best New Show: Godzilla Singular Point

Best Opening Theme: Godzilla Singular Point

Best Ending Theme: Mars Red

Best New Male Character: Maeda (Mars Red)

Best New Female Character: Sawa (Joran)

[kinnoth]

Hey who's up for some headcanon that is straight up specimen me pulling shit from ass

The way I've defined it, there are multiple types of magic available to magicians in the mcu:

We have vanir magic which is witch magic which is learned -- this is Frigga's magic -- which is all the illusion stuff, conjuring stuff, doubling, transforming things, hiding things, scrying. It's not viewed as particularly sophisticated

Then we have proper seith which is what the jotnar have which is only available to those with jotnar heritage -- it's what odin stole from his mother's bloodline. There is no spellcasting in the traditional sense: seith is at the very bottom of it a test of the wielder's will against the tide of fate. This is the magic that can undermine aspects of time and reality. It's augury and divination, changing the nature of things and summoning things into existence through sheer will. It's being able to change certain small aspects of fate by predicting and exchanging good and bad fortunes. It's very powerful but really subtle magic that isnt often perfect and often unreliable. It's contrasted with vanir witch magic kind of in a "small changes and perception are easy to predict and control, big changes and reality are much more difficult to predict and control." Imagine one as tossing pebbles into a pond to make it ripple the way you want it to and the other as tossing pebbles down a mountainside and making just the right parts avalanche. Seith is what lets Odin keep his empire together by his constant meddling with every world's condition. He cannot give up his seith to his descendents bc he holds every world's wellbeing hostage. Jotunheim posed a problem for Odin bc, as the originators of seith, they had their own fate in their hands, or rather, in their casket of winters, which is why it was so vital for him to remove it from them.

Runic magic is Asgard's native form of magic. Asgard barely considers it magic, it is so normalized. It's words of power in it's most basic form; it's the bluntest instrument available. You get words like open and close and light and dark. They can be pieced together into more complex commands but each word does exactly what it says on the tin. They are also the reason Asgard is so much more technologically advanced than every other world -- this is absolutely the easiest "magic" to disseminate as it is basically just literacy. They were able to use runes more or less as a form of math and coding. It is easily the most "scientific" of the forms of magic.

Midgard's magic is that shit Steve strange and his cohort use. It's astral planes and astral projection and dimensional energy theft more or less. It's taking energy from one plane of reality and shifting it into another -- it is incapable of wholecloth creation. Midgard's magic is all clearly visible as it's being cast, which gives it the reputation for being unsubtle and pedestrian, kind of how one might view a child's obvious card trick. Energy manipulation is powerful combat magic though, and sometimes you just need to punch something really hard. Pocket dimensions are also a form of Midgard magic

We don't get to see much of Nidavellir, but I'm gonna say that their magic is the ability to speak power into being. They'll speak their commands which attach themselves to the objects they create as symbols and inscriptions, like prayers. I think we see it demonstrated by Odin in thor1 when he talks to mjolnir after exiling Thor.

I've tried to divine what sort of native magic lives on svartalfheim but I can't find any to even bullshit off of. I think it might be the invisibility stuff? So like light and shadows maybe?

Loki is a very young man still at the point I'm writing him, and based on what we've seen of his magic usage, I say he's most skilled in the easier sorts right now (vanir witch magic, aesir runic magic, midgardian dimensional magic) but he is not well versed in seith, likely lacking any proper teacher or training. likely also Odin did not want him to be skilled in seith as he would be in powerful direct competition with Odin's own stolen powers. He would not be aware that seith is even available to him as only the jotnar wield it in the first place. Odin does not advertise his practice of seith nor his Jotun mother. After he realizes his true heritage, he is able to gain a piecemeal knowledge of it, but, still lacking a proper teacher and proper training, he does not master it. He was only ever meant to pass it to his offspring with Thor anyway, Odin never really made it a priority to teach him anything about his own potential.

[astrovian]

the official ranking of Claude Becker outfits

the official ranking of Daniel Miller outfits here

the official ranking of Adam Price outfits here

all Claude Becker outfits & rankings under the cut

we all know RA looks good in a suit, blah, blah, blah

after two of these rankings, this outfit is the physical embodiment of a yawn

I do appreciate the patterned tie to change things up a tad even if I’m not into the pattern itself. the intent is there, just not the execution

I will give props to the team for giving Claude a patterned dress shirt here (you have to squint a bit on the second image - more on patterned dress shirts later), but they really should have upped the game a little - change the tie & be less subtle with the shirt pattern

and I ask you, does Claude Becker not strike you as a man who would insist on at least a pocket square with his suits?? dream bigger stylists

3/10

@whoever stores old movie props if these weren’t disposed of immediately after filming i will pay you for a copy of one of these

putting aside the hilarious social commentary and fucking literal writing on this magazine cover done by some poor prop designer at 2am (”How to starve artists and other capitalist things”, as well as ”Claude Becker rolls up his shirtsleeves and unties his tie and puts on a vest and casually hangs his hands from his pockets” etc.), this is a nice change-up that made me question why we don’t have RA in just a waistcoat and dress shirt more often

also that tie pattern? fab. I love it. that is how to do a patterned tie. I hope we all know RA looks good in a suit, blah, blah, blah is paying attention

that being said, minimal points because we don’t actually see Claude wearing it in real life

4/10

where, oh where is my polo shirt? oh look, it’s right there

is there any RA character who is not afflicted with a polo shirt? not recently, apparently

I genuinely thought that it was a dress shirt for a moment which had me disappointed at the banality but then that turned into utter devastation as I realised we actually are looking at a long sleeve zip up polo shirt

the draping of the coat? phenomenal and what really brings this entire thing together

the long/three-quarter sleeves? the zip-up rather than buttons? better than one can normally expect from a polo shirt... and then they went and added stripes to the collar and sleeves?? regret

could be a lot worse but could ultimately also not be a polo shirt as well 4.5/10

could have tried harder during lessons but was a pleasure to have in class

I’m sure you all know my long-sleeve shirt obsession with RA but I made a promise to be honest with myself on these lists. the only feeling this outfit evokes is a ‘eh’

the equivalent of a middle slider 5/10

the Claude you’d actually have a fun day with

there’s something about RA in a hoody that just bangs. good lord I also have a weakness for those forearms

I also thought for a good moment these were dark jeans, but they disappointingly turn out to be sweatpants? however, it has made me think that we need to see RA in some darker denim shades more often 

this Claude is could have tried harder during lessons but was a pleasure to have in class but with just a little more fun and class to boost it *just* outside of the ‘eh’ zone

5.2/10

now this is how we do a long-sleeved shirt

I think it’s been fairly well-established by now that loose, long-sleeved RA is my ultimate weakness, so it’s nice to see that Ocean’s 8 is also making a concerted effort to murder me

also Claude’s obsession with sweatpants is giving me life

this is the Claude you make pasta with. and that pasta would be damn tasty, too

5.9/10

come hither

just-woken-up Claude is made 100x better by the bed head hair and the sleepy gaze

this man needs to get back into bed for a snuggle (preferably with me)

I can’t decide if I’m into the loose boxers or missing the tighter Adam Price undies. either way, it’s definitely not a bad aesthetic. and it reminds me, like dad chic Adam Price, that we don’t get enough of RA in shorts

I feel bad assigning numbers to a a shirtless one BUT Claude does transform into being fully-clothed in this scene so I’m going with it 6.4/10

you can kiss my hand anytime

the blessing of this film is not only the visual assault of attractive actors from all sides and genders, but it also instigates in me the thought that RA is wearing printed dress shirts and I can’t remember the last time I saw this?? I never even realised how much I need to see a lot more of this kind of look on RA until we were blessed with this vision

look at those lil’ elephants!! adorable. I hope Claude has a closet full of these with different animals on them

this outfit was so good, RA even wore it in his behind-the-scenes interview

7/10 for a printed, suited dream

the Claude you take home to mom & dad

god, it’s even better without the suit jacket

this is my honest appeal to the powers that may or may not be to put RA in more printed dress shirts

7.6/10

sometimes I think I should be more ashamed of myself

I feel like I need to preface this one thusly: okay, but like hear me out for real this time

I know this is ultimate hipster white-dude look and RA plays into that character so fantastically with Claude here. I mean just look at his expression. something about this whole look makes me want to simultaneously punch this man in the face and also take him home with me

this is a man who you know is a mistake before you make it, but choose to follow through anyway. he’s that last shot of tequila or the 5th glass of wine. you know you would go for him too. don’t even try to deny it

is the high ranking because of the novelty factor? is it because I’ve never seen RA wear a beanie like that and honestly the infamous running Daniel Miller could take notes? is it because I can’t take anyone who wears a beanie like that seriously?

all we do know is that I also can’t believe this is so high on the list

7.8/10

the moment we all learned Claude is 100% a bottom

one of the most iconic Claude moments in the film. RA plays the ‘dumb horny idiot’ character so well in this scene

not so into the pinstriped suit jacket but the hoodie peeking out from underneath combined with the thin scarf makes it for me

8/10

question: how may teeny-weeny scarves does Claude own, exactly?

who could forget the iconic moment when Sandra Bullock nearly shivs RA?

we have another printed dress shirt and I am HERE for it. it even has birds this time!! nice to see that Claude is not just a land mammal sort of man

I will concede that this is the sort of pattern that few men can pull off but RA is making it work and I am living

8.7/10

I’m not sure I can make a comment on this one that is even remotely appropriate except for “I told you Claude is a bottom”

safety first, buy some proper restraints for the bedroom please Claude/10

 modern royalty au Thorin

this is the moment that every single Hobbit fan went “hell yeah, now I have the perfect new aesthetic for my modern royalty Hobbit AU” (as an avid lotr/hobbit fan, I am not joking here)

RA looks like royalty here because he should be. please sign my petition to have RA usurp the British Queen

for real though, that baby blue sash is the 1000% perfect added touch to this suit and we love RA in a baby blue. a decent (and clearly successful) effort to match the faux Met Gala theme: European royalty. however, it is also pretty accurate re: the imaginative effort that most men have with altering their Met Gala outfits to fit that year’s theme

we need more RA in ‘modern royal’ roles for the #aesthetic and also so that he can dress like this more often

9.3/10 for a princely (or dare I say kingly?) figure

James Corden looks so gleeful running after Claude that it makes me happy. I get it, James. I get it

there’s really nothing spectacular about the general outfit here - except for the swagger RA is giving this

pants? shirt? boring, meh

check scarf? a brilliant switch up from Claude’s normal thin scarves. 

the popped coat? now we’re cooking

the sunglasses and wind-ruffled hair that screams “I’m hungover but I still look effortlessly handsome”? delectable

the dogs?? the best set dressing one could ask for

the attitude and ‘I’m too cool for you’ swagger? priceless and what makes this the second-best outfit of the whole film

9.6/10 this man could punch me and I would be grateful

hot diggity dog, someone get me Claude’s handcuffs

from the front view, it could be argued that this outfit (well, technically it may not really be a separate outfit as it’s the undone version of modern royalty au Thorin), while fairly exceptional, does not first place make

however, someone had the idea to shoot RA from a side angle in this and for that I am eternally in their debt

it’s all about the tease with this one. the glimpse of the suspenders (and holy shit, RA in suspenders was not a look I had thought about before). the way the waist coat hangs off Claude’s chest like that, just enough to make its presence obvious. the cufflinks. the delicate pocket watch chain.

if previous outfits on this list have been all sex and swagger, this is the foreplay. the subtle strip tease.

10/10 

[albertasunrise]

No More - Chapter 4

Summary: Frankie has been your best friend since you were in the 2nd grade. You were each other’s first’s, he, your first love and as you’d both gotten older you always somehow fell into bed together after one too many drinks with the boys. You don’t know how much longer you can keep this up but fate has other plans for you both and events are set in motion to decide for you.

Warnings: Angst, Bitch Ex, Fluff

Pairings: Frankie/ Reader

~

Frankie’s recovery was slow. His physio was extensive after having to have his left leg reconstructed and it meant it took him some weeks to build up the muscle strength in it again. He was on a concoction of drugs, pain and antibiotics, after he’d had to have his kidney and his spleen removed. The Millers had temporarily moved in with Frankie to take care of him when he was let out of the hospital and you’d gone around almost every evening so that he could spend time with Emma. You’d been shocked how quickly he’d taken to becoming a father, desperate to do anything to help that was within his capabilities. As time went on and he was well on the way to recovery he started to take more and more on, relishing being able to feed her, bath her and sing her to sleep. Neither of you though discussed the situation between the two of you. He’d not pushed the subject again, despite how desperate he was to confess how he felt but he knew that he had to prove himself and so he started with Emma.

‘So... I wondered if you had any plans this weekend.’ He says suddenly, pulling you from your book.

‘What do you mean?’ You ask as you turn your head to look at him, smiling as he bounces his smiley daughter on his knee.

‘Well, the doc said it’s important for me to be moving around and walking about.’ He starts, pulling a face at Emma and making her giggle ‘The weather is supposed to be really good this weekend. Thought maybe we could take Emma to the zoo.’

It had been four months since the accident. Frankie was able to walk unaided now and had been taking regular walks, often to get Emma to sleep as she always dosed off in her pram after she ate. He had really thrown himself headfirst into fatherhood and you’d noticed. A few times you’d seen him crying as you left for the night, his shoulders shaking as he tried to fight back the tears as he watched you leave. He’d received a monumental payout from the accident. Turned out the guy who had hit him was a multimillionaire and had paid Frankie a massive fee not to take him to court. He’s sad down with you, asked you what you thought and you’d appreciated him doing that, ultimately telling him to take the deal.

‘Yeah, that sounds like a wonderful idea.’ You reply as you smile at your daughter, her arms waving in delight at the attention she's getting from her parents.

‘I wanted to show you something.’ He said as he pulled her against his chest and stood up, holding his hand out to help you to your feet.

‘What?’ You ask as he leads up up the stairs.

A sense of Deja Vu washes over you as you walk up the stairs of his childhood home, eyes scanning over the photos that hung on the wall and smiling at the ones of you and him as children, the ones of his parents and now taking pride of place, Emma. He stops beside the door that had once been your bedroom, pushing it open and motioning for you to look as he bounces the baby in his arms. You look at him suspiciously as you take ginger steps towards the doorway, eyes growing wide with what greets you. The room had been completely transformed. The walls had been painted a subtle pink and a whitewashed Crib sat proudly to the middle of the wall on your right with a changing table sat opposite that was painted in a similar finish. Piled neatly in the corner were several stuffed toys and sat underneath the window was a chest that you recognised. It had been yours when you were a kid and you’d moved it with you when Frankie’s parents had taken you in. It was unchanged, just lovingly restored and when you walked over to it and carefully lifted the lid you sobbed when you saw the toys you’d kept inside are still there.

‘Thought maybe you might want to give them to Emma.’ He states as he takes a step inside, smiling against Emma’s cheek as she rests her face against his lips.

You close the lid and continue to scan your surroundings, smiling at the artwork that hangs on the walls and the mobile above the cot.

‘Do you like it?’ He asks, a little nervous at your continued silence.

‘I love it.’ You reply as you finally look at him, your smile spreading from ear to ear ‘When did you do all this?’

‘Well, I had some time on my hands.’ He chuckles ‘The guys helped me with it but I wanted to get something together for her.’ You nod as you watch Emma look around ‘There’s one more thing.’

You give him a bemused look, following him out of the nursery and down the hall to what you knew to be the spare room. This room was also different although in more subtle ways. There was a desk set up in the corner that adorned a large monitor and other computing equipment and in the far corner stood a tall mirror with an elegant wardroom and dresser beside it.

‘What is this?’ You ask, turning your head to look at him.

‘It kills me every night when you take her.’ He starts, the pain evident in his expression ‘I thought maybe if you had somewhere you could sleep, that some nights she can stay here. I know that you’re not comfortable leaving her yet so this way you don’t have to. This way I can help with night feeds and breakfast time.’

‘Frankie-‘

‘Please. Before you say no. At least think about it.’ He begs ‘I’m not asking you to move in here or anything. I’m just asking you to give me a chance to help more. I’ve even set a desk up so that you can work here and I can take care of her during the day. I’m not going to be able to work for a while so why not be a stay at home dad. The payout means I’m financially sound for a while.’

‘Frankie. I wasn’t going to say no.’ You chuckle, taking a few ginger steps towards him ‘I think this is a great idea.’

‘You do?’

‘I do.’ You reply, smiling at the goofy grin that spreads across his face.

‘Great!.’

~

‘What do you think she’ll want to see first?’ Exclaims Frankie excitedly ‘I think the penguins!’

‘Frank she’s 4 months old.’ You giggle ‘She’ll probably poop and fall asleep.’

You can’t help but love how excited he is about this day trip. He was insistent on wearing the baby carrier so that he could show her call the animals. You’d been concerned that his leg might struggle but he said he was fine. So here you are, him with a giggly Emma strapped to his chest and you with the buggy, pushing around the armoury of items that babies apparently require.

‘Oh look the penguins are this way.’ He says, practically skipping and you can’t help but chuckle at his excitement.

Sure enough, Emma is mesmerised by them, watching them swim with comically wide eyes as her little hands wave around as if desperately trying to pet them. The two of you coo at her as she laughs and wiggles with glee as one penguin seems to take a particular interest in her, smiling when she squeals at him waving his wing at her.

‘I think you made a new friend baby girl.’ He says sweetly as he places a kiss on the top of her head.

‘You have got to be kidding me.’ Comes a voice, pulling you both out of your family moment.

You and Frankie turn to see Emily stood across from you, arms crossed and her face red with rage.

‘So her brat is yours then?’ She spits, venom dripping from every word.

‘Emily-‘

‘This is hilarious. You cheat on me with her and knock her up in the process.’ She scoffs, eyeing Emma angrily ‘Poor kid. Having a dad like you.’

‘Don’t you dare speak to him like that!’ You growl, taking a step forward ‘He’s an amazing father to Emma. He went through hell four months ago but despite that he has gone over and above to show her how loved she is.’

‘Hell huh?’ She tuts as she tilts her head to the side ‘Fall of the bandwagon again did you Fish?'

‘His car got t-boned and he almost died actually.’ You state, taking pleasure in the shock that spreads across her face. ‘Lost a kidney and his spleen. Had to have his leg reconstructed and went through months of painful physio so that he could walk again and yet he still bathed her, fed her. Despite the pain, he was in. So he’s an incredible father and I’m just glad I was able to give him the chance to prove that…’

'Unlike you’

The guilt that flooded her features only inflated the satisfaction you feel in taking her down a peg. You could see her brain working, trying to find a comeback but struggling.

‘Why she so small?’ She finally says ‘You get on it whilst knocked up?’

‘I was in the car with him.’ You growl ‘Accident brought on an early labour and she ended up being a month premature.’

Her face paled at your statement but you felt no satisfaction now. She’d brought your daughter into this feud. She’d made it personal. She stood there for a moment, mouth opening and closing as she thought of what to say but in the end, she turned around and practically sprinted out of view, leaving you seething in silence.

‘You okay?’ Frankie asks finally as he places a friendly hand on your arm.

‘Yeah.’ You reply as you turn and smile at him ‘Yeah I'm fine.’

‘Thank you.’ He says, and you give him a confused look ‘For sticking up for me. I really hope that I’ll be a good dad to Emma.’

‘Frankie I meant every word.’ You state, your expression serious ‘You are an amazing father to Emma. She’s so lucky to have you.’

You see his cheeks pink at that, giving you a little nod as he places another kiss on his daughters head in an attempt to hide his embarrassment.

‘Shall we go see the giraffes Bean?’ You ask as you stroke Emma’s cheek with your finger, giggling when she squeals in reply ‘Take that as a yes.’

‘Do you want to carry her for a bit?’ Asks Frankie as he watches you with her ‘I’ll push the pram.’

‘No, it's fine.’ You reply, smiling sweetly at him ‘I like watching you with her.’

Emma loved the giraffes even more. She wriggled like crazy as her hands grabbed at the docile creatures. One of the keepers had noticed her reaction and invited you over for snack time. You filmed on your phone whilst Frankie held his hand flat so the giraffe can eat the snack the zookeeper has given him and you desperately try to stifle your laugh when the creature's large blue tongue sloppily licks it out of his hand. Emma squeals with excitement at how close it had gotten but she quietened down when it lowered its head to inspect her, the keeper telling Frankie that it is okay to pet him. You couldn’t believe your eyes as you watch Emma, very gently, pet the giraffe's snout and you found yourself tearing up as your eyes lock with Frankie’s, the two of you amazed at how in tune she is with the creature. The keeper organised for the three of you to stop in on feeding time for a load of other animals, Frankie being particularly excited about the lions. You both stood there in awe of their majesty whilst Emma squeaks and squeals as she watches the cat pace in his cage ready for his food but she stops dead when one lioness starts to roar. The sound is so powerful it vibrates through you and you both look down at Emma, concerned that the sound will scare her. Instead, she is dead still, her eyes open as wide as they can go as she stares and the cat, her mouth slowly opening wider and wider. You both can't help but chuckle at her amazement and you share a loving glance sith each other, both in awe at how innocent she is.

Emma is fast asleep by the time you get back to the car and the two of you envy her. The day had proved to be an eventful one but one that you’d never forget. You’d Whatsapped the giraffe video to the boys and Benny had replied with several laughing emojis at Frankie's reaction.

New girlfriend Fish? He asked, and Will replied to that with a GIF of R2D2 falling flat on his face captioned DEAD.

Frankie just sent a middle finger emoji which elicited another flurry of amused responses.

‘Today was wonderful.’ You say sweetly as you buckle yourself in ‘Thank’s for suggesting it.’

‘I’m just sorry we bumped into her.’ He replies, his expression guilty.

‘No need.’ You reply as you press the start button for the car ‘She’s a bitch.’ You shrug before giving him a smile.

‘I wondered if maybe you’d like to get a pizza and stay tonight?’ He asks, changing the subject completely.

‘Sounds like a plan.’ You reply ‘Could murder a stuffed crust pepperoni.’

‘God yes.’ He replies ‘That’s why I love you.,’

You freeze at his exclamation and so does he, the two of you looking away awkwardly. You focus on the road whilst he looks in the back to check on Emma, smiling at her little feet twitching as she sleeps. He inwardly scolds himself for his slip. That’s not how he wanted to tell you. He just hoped you hadn't taken it so literally. When you pull into his drive you turn your head to see Emma starting to stir, her face scrunching as she yawns and her mouth forms an adorable O.

‘I’m just going to dash to the house and get some fresh clothes for me and her.’ You say as you turn to look at Frankie.

‘I’ll get her fed and watered then.’ He jokes ‘I’ll order the pizza too. Pepperoni yeah?

‘And stuffed crust.’ You clarify ‘Forget the stuffed crust and I’ll never forgive you.’

‘You’ve got it!.’ He replies with a small salute.

Hopping out of the car he grabs the baby from her seat and carries her inside, bouncing her in his arms as he grabs a bottle from the fridge and places it in the bottle warmer. Emma is more awake now and tugging insistently at the collar of his shirt.

‘Did you have a good day baby girl?’ He asks sweetly as he looks down at his daughter, smiling when she squeals in reply ‘So how is daddy going to woo mummy hmm?’ He asks her ‘How am I going to prove to mummy how in love with her I am?’

She just stares up at him with her big brown eyes, her lips pursing as she starts to blow raspberries at him.

'Should have known I wouldn't get a serious answer out of you.' He chuckles as the timer on the warmer dings to let him know the bottles done 'Right you hungry Bebé niña?'

She suckles eagerly on her bottle, eyes comically wide as her hands grab at it. He watches lovingly as he feeds her, unable to contemplate how one can love someone as much as he loves her. He'd known the moment he looked at her that she was his and he'd never been happier in his life. He found he couldn't be angry at you for keeping it from him. He'd not exactly given you a reason to but he was glad that you had in the end. That he now had the chance to be a father to this angel in his arms.

~

‘This pizza is heaven!.’ You say, rubbing your belly as you sink back into the couch.

‘Good.’ He replies as he turns his head to look at you ‘Gino does make the best pizza in town.’

‘Well, I’d agree with that statement!.’ You say as you smile at him.

The two of you share a lingering look. You can feel your heart speeding up when his hand brushes yours. His eyes drop to your lips before returning your gaze again and you find yourself leaning in, his hand suddenly resting on your hip as your lips brush against his. Then... Screams.

‘I’ll get her.’ You say as you roll your eyes and smirk at him, sprinting up the stairs to tend to a wailing Emma.

‘Thanks a lot, baby girl.’ Frankie grumbles as he scrubs his hand over his face ‘So close.’ He finishes as his head falls back against the couch.

~

Chapter 5

[vajranam]

Dzogchen And Bodhicitta

THE UNION OF DZOGCHEN AND BODHICHITTA

The approach I take to Dharma practice is very simple, yet this approach should not be taken to undermine the profundity of the Buddhadharma. This approach is based on the instructions I received from my own root Lama, Khenchen Tsara Dharmakirti Rinpoche, the experiences I have had in my life, and many long years of study and solitary retreat.

It is my conclusion that the style of Dharma practice that the great yogis and practitioners of India and Tibet have relied upon up until now has been holistic in nature, and I believe that this approach is still the best one to take today.

Logically speaking, the Outer, Inner, and Secret Teachings are fundamentally interconnected and should be adopted and practiced as one path. In fact, they are so fundamentally interconnected that it is actually difficult to give Teachings on one without including the others. This interconnection - along with the "Union" which is the perfect, uncontrived view and the "Union" which is the nature of mind itself-is what I like to can the Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta.

Often, when people hear the words "Outer, Inner, and Secret Teachings," they want to associate them with one concept or another, such as the three vehicles of the Hinayana, the Mahayana, and the Vajrayana.

When translated from Sanskrit, the words Hinayana, Mahayana, and Vajrayana mean the "lesser, great, and indestructible vehicles," and "vehicle" refers to the method or the path used to cross the ocean of samsara.

But associating the Outer, Inner, and Secret Teachings with distinct concepts is not what I have in mind. In fact, associating the Teachings with concepts is precisely what can lead us away from putting them into practice properly. This is because as soon as we begin to talk about the Dharma in terms of duality, it becomes exclusive, such that one necessary component can easily be dismissed, ignored, or subordinated in terms of importance to practice.

This suggests that the Dharma is not holistic in nature, but instead that each practitioner may be selective about what they study and practice, thus putting some Teachings into practice while neglecting others, on the basis of assumptions made about the importance of different aspects of the Dharma.

The same thing has happened since the introduction of the Buddhist Teachings into Western pop culture. Many of the more subtle ideas of Buddhist thought, whose understanding requires deep explanations and years of contemplative experience, have been reduced to sound bites and images: simple ideas that are easy to digest and seem easy to realize if we could just remember them.

These packaged ideas appear to be spiritual in nature but have lost the essential meaning conveyed by the Teachings as a whole. One example of this is the commonly spoken idea that "I `.verything is One." '

This idea has its basis in the nature of "suchness," or reality "as it is," which is quite a profound state of realization.

However, it has been taken out of context and oversimplified. It is like a beautiful, empty shell that is not capable of pointing us in the right direction or providing us with the means for realization.

In order to truly understand the Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta, the Dharma as we have come to know it in the West has to be fundamentally reconsidered.

The Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta is the path in its totality, a synthesis of the Teachings without losing any of the meaning.

Although it is useful in other situations, for this particular discussion, associating the Teachings with dualistic concepts would only distract us from their essential meaning. We must take up the entire path as an interconnected entity of which every single part is given equal importance.

This is actually the true meaning of the word "Dzogchen," which can be translated literally as "the great perfection." Some people interpret this to mean that the nature of mind is perfect, or that the realization gained from the Teachings is perfect, and these things may also be true. But actually, Dzogchen is perfect because it is all-inclusive; it is the totality of the path that leads one to realization.

Rather than present the Dharma as a linear path as is often done in many foundational texts, I would instead like to present it here as three facets of an interrelated system whose parts must be practiced simultaneously if they are to lead to the perfect result.

These three facets are the Outer, Inner, and Secret Teachings, which are distinguished as separate elements only by the cognitive construct of words, and which completely encompass the wisdom of Tibetan Buddhism. But before I go any further, let me tell you about some of my own experiences with the Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta.

From the time I was born, my parents and I lived with a Dzogchen yogi called "Lama Chupur." He was the kind of yogi we call a drubtob in Tibetan, or in Sanskrit a siddha, or great adept-a yogi who has realized the view of Dzogchen and reached the stage of magical accomplishment.

In fact, Lama Chupur's name means "flying over water," and he was given that name after he was seen flying over a wide river near my village. He was the kind of yogi who had spent his whole life wandering around Tibet in search of the Teachings, and he had been the heart student (in other words, had received the entirety of his masters' knowledge and Teachings on realizing the nature of mind) of two of the greatest drubtob masters of his time. So maybe that can give you an idea of what kind of yogi Lama Chupur was.

Lama Chupur came to live in my village after the changes in Tibet. My parents were his students. He recognized me as a tulku (reincarnate Lama) from a young age, after which he raised me as both his child and his student.

I spent my childhood days in his constant presence, witnessing him and taking instruction from him. I remember that at first glance he did not seem to be meditating on anything special at all. When he gave Teachings, as he often did to the many pilgrims and village people who came to see him, he always gave Teachings on how to generate Bodhichitta and never even mentioned the Secret Teachings.

There was a kindness about him that is very difficult to convey with words. He had a marvelously good heart that marked you indelibly whenever you were with him.

Although his words and his ordinary appearance suggested that he was meditating solely on Bodhichitta, sometimes when I looked at him I felt something welling up inside of me.

I could tell instinctively by his gaze and the posture he assumed, as well as the clear quality of his mind, that his meditation was much deeper than that. It was not until I was older and had begun to study with my own root Lama, as well as other Lamas who were staying in retreat in Tibet, that I realized that Lama Chupur had been practicing the Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta.

Lama Chupur's story is not unique. My own root Lama, Khenchen Tsara Dharmakirti Rinpoche, was regarded by many Tibetans as the highest authority on the four sects of Tibetan Buddhism. He is the heart student of more than ten renowned Lamas and is the fourth in an unbroken lineage of heart students of Patrul Rinpoche.

Yet, many people did not realize the profundity of his meditation because of his humble appearance. Up until the time of his passing, he spent most of his time giving Teachings on Bodhichitta and always presented himself as an ordinary practitioner.

But as his heart student who spent more than twenty years under his guidance, I had the chance to experience his transformation. I can say with certainty that I witnessed my own teacher attain the fruit of the Teachings in this very life.

When Tsara Dharmakirti Rinpoche passed away at the age of ninety-two, he attained a sign called "Heart, Tongue, and Eyes," which is one of the signs of highest realization that comes as a result of the Dzogchen Teachings. In fact, it is the same sign that came when the omniscient Longchenpa passed away hundreds of years ago. Of course, I did not know the method my teacher used until he gave me the secret oral instructions of our lineage. It was then that I realized that he, too, relied on the Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta.

Finally, Tsara Dharmakirti Rinpoche once told me the story of an ordinary old man who lived in Kham, Tibet. He was a poor man with only the clothes on his back who lived in a stone house near a pilgrimage site that many people would circumambulate.

Nothing at all about this man seemed special. He was so ordinary, in fact, that until he died, no one even knew his name, much less thought of him as a great Dzogchen yogi. Each day this man would get up, beg for food, and then spend the day saying mantras and holding a Prayer Wheel that he slowly turned in circles.

I cannot tell you how shocked his countrymen were when this simple old man attained rainbow body, the sign of one of the highest accomplishments of a Dzogchen practitioner. When my teacher told me this story, I knew once again that the old man's realization had come from practicing the Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta.

In my studies, I have read scriptures about yogis who attained the result of the Teachings, but I have also occasionally come across stories of yogis who did not. I always wondered why these yogis did not attain the realization promised by the scriptures even though they spent their whole lives in solitary retreat as they had been instructed.

But as I examined further, I realized that they had neglected to practice the Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta and had fallen into the wrong view Thus, it was not their heroic effort that had failed them, but rather the view and style of practice they had undertaken from the outset.

Especially in this day and age, there are many kinds of meditation we can choose to practice. But meditation does not have some inherent quality that promises to rid us of self-attachment, which is the only way we can achieve liberation.

Rather, whether or not we achieve liberation depends solely on the type of meditation we choose to practice and the diligence with which we proceed. Thus, the yogis who did not attain liberation practiced a style of meditation that did not rid them of self-attachment, but rather led them to develop negative habitual tendencies and eventually take a lower rebirth.

Working with the mind is an extremely delicate art; we must be very careful not to make a mistake about what and how we practice.

This text presents my own holistic view of the Teachings, the Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta, as passed on to me by my Lamas, as well as developed through my own contemplative practice and study of the Buddhist canon.

In this unprecedented time where so many are able to benefit from practicing the Buddhist Teachings, I urge you to practice the Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta and attain the results promised by the Teachings. Pray this text bring benefit to beings everywhere.

-Anyen Rinpoche

The Union of Dzogchen and Bodhichitta

by Anyen Rinpoche

Translated by Allison Graboski

Snow Lion

[kitkatt0430]

the flash and the problem of the pointless sacrifice

It starts at the end of season one. Eddie Thawne picks up his gun and shoots himself, dying to protect Iris, Barry, and the rest from his dangerous descendent Eobard Thawne.

Season two ends with its reversal, Barry creating the Flashpoint Timeline that, though its eventually set back to 'normal-ish', leaves a time remnant of Eobard Thawne alive and well (if running scared from the Black Flash/Hunter Zolomon as a speed zombie) to wreak havoc once more.

And I get it. The Reverse Flash is one of the Flash's most iconic villains - killing him off in season one couldn't be permanent. But apparently Eddie's suicide could be and the message that sends is... unfortunate.

Eddie is an extremely kindhearted person and we see that about him again and again throughout season one. He always has a smile for the people he cares about and he's an absolutely terrible liar. But we also know that he was bullied as a child/teen and since he never brings up the subject of his own family, it's likely he doesn't have a support structure outside of Central City. And the support structure he does gain in Central City was Barry's support structure first. There's not a single person we see Eddie spend time with in season one that didn't know Barry first.

And that's a big part of what wears him down over the course of the season. When both Barry and Eddie need support, Barry gets it first. Barry's secrets are treated as something Eddie has to prioritize over his relationship with Iris. Barry's loved Iris longer than Eddie's known her and while Iris loves Eddie, she also loves Barry and she's infatuated with the Flash - not realizing he's Barry's alter ego. Over the course of the season, Eddie constantly tries to connect with Barry and Barry constantly holds back. Their relationship is never equal. And that's what leaves Eddie open to Eobard's manipulations with the future news article.

And Eddie tries to make his own future with Iris anyway. But even with Iris accepting his proposal, Joe makes it clear he'll never truly accept their relationship and Eddie's sense of self worth is at an all time low. And that's the state of mind he's in during the fight in the pipeline. When Barry chooses not to let Eobard go after all, it puts them all in a position of potentially having to deal with this fight between the two speedsters just... never ending. It puts Iris in danger because Barry cares about her and because while Eddie is Eobard's ancestor... Iris isn't. From Eobard's point of view, Eddie's the only one who isn't expendable and from Eddie's point of view... he's the only one who is expendable.

His answer is suicide. And his death immediately erases Eobard from the timeline, but its also implied to have contributed to the re-emergence of the singularity. But at least Eobard was dead.

At least, until Barry created Flashpoint at the end of season 2. Presumably Eddie was alive in Flashpoint, but we never see him. Maybe he stays in Keystone instead of transferring to Central City. Never meets Iris. Never gets worn down to feel like he's not good enough. Never kills himself.

When Flashpoint is reset, Eddie's dead again but now his sacrifice has been rendered moot because Eobard's still alive as a time remnant.

It sets a rather nasty precedent for the show.

Season two also ends with a suicide. This time it's Barry's.

Much like Eddie the year before, Barry's been worn down. He had his place in his family's come into question, with Henry leaving at the start of the season and Wally's arrival midway through the season. His back is literally broken by the stress of fighting Zoom and despite everything he's suffered for the city, his honor is called into question the instant a different speedster takes to thievery. He has to give up his speed to protect Wally only for that to immediately put Caitlin in danger. His colleagues are brutally murdered by Zoom to teach him a lesson. His father finally comes back for good, only to be murdered in the same place as Barry's mother.

Honestly, there is no question (to my mind anyway) that Barry's suicidal at the end of the season. And because Barry his time remnants are fundamentally the same person at the moment of their split, the time remnant Barry creates is suicidal as well.

That time remnant tears himself apart to stop Zoom's plan to destroy the multi-verse. His very existence also lures in the Time Wraiths that take Zoom away, transforming him into the mindless Black Flash. All at the cost of a version of Barry killing himself, going unlamented and forgotten. But at least the multi-verse was safe.

Until the Red Skies Crisis when the multi-verse is actually destroyed and rebooted.

Another sacrifice rendered pointless.

HR does not kill himself in season three. But he deliberately places himself in a position to be killed in Iris' place. He arrives on the heels of a scandal on his Earth where he's been revealed to have been taking credit for someone else's work - with that person's blessing, but its still ruined his reputation. He comes wanting to reinvent himself, but from the start he's not the person the team really wants. They want Harry. Cisco wants Harry. He gets it hammered in that his strengths aren't appreciated by the team because he's not a scientist. His efforts to help STAR Labs are dismissed entirely. The only reason any attempts to help his museum venture succeed are because changing the future might save Iris.

It's not that HR is disliked, but he's left acutely aware that he's considered 'a bit much' and that he's always going to come second to the people he puts first. In fact, Tracy's probably the only one who truly and completely appreciates HR as he is.

So HR swaps places with Iris, knowing that he's going to die when he does. And while HR doesn't kill himself, there's an argument to be made that what he did was still suicide by proxy.

And this is a sacrifice that sticks, because Iris West is the love interest. She's never going to be killed off for real.

Three seasons ending with a suicidal sacrifice. And only one of them doesn't have that sacrifice reversed or nullified. Unfortunately, that's not the end of it either.

Harry leaves his Earth at the start of season four. His relationship with his daughter, which was shown to still be strong in season three, has somehow deteriorated to the point where she's thrown him off her support team and he comes to Earth-1 to reconnect with the found family he forged during season two. He's in the midst of a crisis and his understanding of himself as a parent is unraveling. And then DeVoe calls the other pillar of Harry's self identity into question, because Harry's genius isn't enough on its own anymore. He's not smart enough to out think DeVoe and his Earth-1 family is suffering. So Harry creates his own downfall, burns out his own brain trying to be the smartest. And he sacrifices his last moments of lucidity to find the answer to stopping DeVoe. In doing so, Harry puts Barry in the position to save Ralph's life.

But DeVoe still gets the last laugh when he causes the STAR Labs satellite to come falling down, nearly destroying the city and creating Cicada in the process.

But unlike previous seasons, Harry doesn't die. He gets some of his intelligence back and immediately gets exiled by the writers back to Earth-2 due to the massive problems with ableism this show has. But that's a different conversation.

Season five is probably the only season not to include a suicidal character who's kills themselves. Nora dies when she erases herself from the timeline by accident, but we know now she'll be back in the back half of season seven, along with her new brother. But one out five seasons not taking a suicide (or similar action in Harry's case) and painting it as a noble - but ultimately useless - gesture is rather... bad as far as track records go.

Season six has the alternate Barry Allen - implied to be the Barry from the 90s show - who dies in place of this show's Barry. To save the multi-verse and let this other Barry go home to his wife, something he'll never have with Tina again. And the multi-verse is destroyed anyway.

Season seven opened with Nash Wells, whose usual method of investigating mysteries and hoaxes led to the Anti Monitor's freedom and the multi-verse's destruction. His home Earth destroyed so he can never go home. He's confronted with an alternate version of his dead daughter, who can barely stand his presence. He begins to hallucinate alternate versions of himself and is possessed by the Reverse Flash and all his research on how to create a new Speed Force - to try to make up for some of the damage he's caused - points to a single conclusion. The only way to make things better is for him to die.

Instead, Nash's death immediately makes things worse. The artificial speed force is flawed and Barry destroys it in the very next episode. And while one could argue that Nash's death allowed Barry to save Iris and ultimately restored the original Speed Force, it doesn't negate the fact that Nash's suicidal state of mind wasn't addressed by the people who called him friend. And his legacy was immediately deemed a failure and destroyed.

While I wouldn't say the show is glorifying suicide, there's a subtle and incredibly troubling repetition in the story telling on the show that frames suicide as the right decision in certain circumstances. Even though what's being sacrificed for often comes to naught. And it's incredibly uncomfortable, seeing it all laid out like this.

I'm still really not sure what to make of it all, but I've got no doubt it ties into the show's ableism with regards to mental health issues. Because every time its someone whose mental health has been brought down to a low point who commits these acts of 'sacrifice' and while the team grieves these losses... they don't seem to learn from them either. Because it just keeps happening.

(Think I missed something? Please, by all means, add on.)

[knifewieldingenby]

feels so good being bad

summary: Inspired by the chains he uses for Lambert on the full moon, Aiden decides that he, too, would like to be chained up. warnings: Explicit 18+, BDSM, gentle face slapping, consent discussions/enthusiastic consent

Read on AO3

---

It started innocently enough. Well, maybe innocent was the wrong word. Could one really call chaining up their werewolf boyfriend innocent? But that’s how it started, Aiden pulling the chains taut and bringing them to Lambert, who was stripping out of his clothes. It shouldn’t have been so errotic, the sight of those firm muscles bare and glow in the moon’s ever-changing light, but Aiden was a simple man with simple needs: mainly, to get his boyfriend naked and touch every inch of his body.

Tonight, apparently, he had a different need. He’d fiddled with the chains a hundred times it seemed; they were heavy in his hands, the thick cuffs starting to rust (he’d try talking lambert into getting new ones, again, but he doubted it’d do much good). They had a little more time today so he went slower. He ran his fingers over the chains, pushed them together to listen to the loud clink. It was strangely arousing. A thought he had never considered started to blossom, but he shoved it down for the moment. They were getting Lambert through the full moon. That was the goal. Though Aiden doubted, after his many years of practice and control, that Lambert even needed this, the man insisted when he had been in a bad mood leading up to it. Otherwise Aiden simply brought him to their little cellar and locked him in, and Lambert howled at mice, until the morning. 

Aiden snapped the chains around Lambert’s wrists, pressed a firm kiss to his lips, and locked the cellar door behind him as he left. He never liked sleeping alone on full moons but there was nothing to be done about it. Tonight, however, he lay in bed listening to the faint howl of his boyfriend and imagined something that set his skin ablaze and made him wish so badly that Lambert was with him at that moment, transformation be damned. 

-

“Are you absolutely sure about this?” Lambert asked for at least the tenth time, and Aiden rolled his eyes. 

“Yes, pup,” he drawled. Lambert growled at him and he smirked. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I really, truly want this.”

“But...what if it’s too close?” Lambert kept his eyes on the equipment laid out in front of him: two pairs of heavy duty handcuffs, ropes, a ball gag. Perfectly normal things.

“Lamb,” Aiden moved forward and cupped Lambert’s cheek. “You’ve never lost control the day before a full moon, you know this.”

“But what if I do? I’ve never...we’ve never had sex this close. And certainly not like this!” He waved at Aiden’s toys with exasperation. 

“Hey.” Aiden pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “I trust you. We’ll be okay so long as we stick to the plan.”

“What will you do if you want to stop and you’re gagged?”

“I’ll grab the bars on the bed frame.” 

Lambert nodded. “Okay. Okay. We can do this. Are you sure?”

“Sure as I ever am,” Aiden smiled softly. “Are you sure? Do you want to do this?”

Lambert growled again, but this time it was lower, gruff and almost animalistic. Aiden felt his skin break out in goosebumps. “I want you.”

“Then take me.” Aiden held his wrists out, a pout on his lips that was far too seductive for his own good. Lambert pushed him down gently to the bed and brought his wrists above his head. Slowly, carefully, he secured the handcuffs around his wrists and then the bedpost.

“Okay?”

“Okay,” Aiden said softly. His voice sounded far away, eyelids already drooping though they’d barely started. 

“Okay, I’m gonna do the rope now. Tell me if it’s uncomfortable, okay?”

“Of course, pup.”

If Lambert wanted to snarl he was doing a good job holding it in. “You have far too much fun toying with me, kitten. Now it’s my turn.”

Aiden preened at the nickname as Lambert went to work. He tied an intricate but loose knot with the pink rope around both of Aiden’s ankles and then lifted his legs close to his chest so that he could tie them to the bedpost. Having had the good sense to disrobe before they began, Aiden was now spread wide, everything in full view. He shivered as Lambert’s eyes roamed up and down his body, focusing primarily between his lips.

“Don’t you look pretty, little one? Can’t wait to see how well other parts of you open up for me.”

“Fuck, Lamb-”

“No,” Lambert growled, pressing a finger to Aiden’s lips. “You don’t get to talk, kitten. You haven’t earned that right have you? This outta shut you up.” He reached behind him and brought back the pretty pink ball gag. He pushed it gently into Aiden’s mouth, snapped it around the back, and grinned when Aiden’s eyes fluttered.

“Good boy. Now…” Lambert placed his hands on Aiden’s chest and spread his fingers, pinkies brushing against Aiden’s nipples. He arched into the touch. Lambert skimmed his hands downward, fingers running through soft tufts of public hair, until he settled just above Aiden’s cock. “You want me to touch you, Kitten?” Aiden nodded. “But do you deserve to be touched?”

Aiden whimpered and arched again, trying to move his body into Lambert’s hands, but it only made him pull his hands away entirely. 

“Is this okay?” Lambert asked softly, his facade slipping. Aiden nodded enthusiastically and Lambert’s mask shifted back into place. “Good. You’ll take whatever touch I give you, and you’ll enjoy every bit of it. Lean your head back and close your eyes.”

Aiden did as told. A minute later he felt one of Lambert’s hands drag up his body again, up, up, until he reached Aiden’s throat. Fingers wrapped around his throat, thumb and index finger pressing into the sides, and Aiden’s eyes rolled back as his breathing stuttered just a bit. Not enough to block his breathing, but enough to get the blood flowing downward. Aiden felt his cock twitch, could feel the faint traces of precum dripping from him. 

“Look at you,” Lambert said in awe. Aiden blushed and gasped as Lambert squeezed again, slightly harder this time, and his hips rose up again to seek out any kind of friction. Lambert released and smoothed his fingers soothingly down his throat before he pulled away. “You’re such a brat, you know that? Always talking back, trying to get a rise out of me. But not now. You’re my little play thing now.”

Aiden’s breath sped up as he felt nails drag down his spread thighs. He looked down to see Lambert’s eyes trained on his hole, and reflexively he clenched around nothing. Lambert’s eyes snapped up to his and he glared.

“Did I tell you that you could look down?” Aiden just looked at him, eyes wide. “Answer me!” 

A second later a slap landed on his cheek. Lambert, bless his soul, honestly barely tapped him. It was the slightest tap in the world, much gentler than the ones he so often landed on Aiden’s backside. It made his heart swell to know that even now Lambert was so careful not to hurt him, and even that gentle pressure made his cock fill. 

“I’m going to ask again: did I tell you to look down?” Aiden shook his head. “You’re being a bad boy, I don’t think you deserve to have your cock touched anymore.”

Aiden whimpered and pulled on the cuffs but he did as he was told, eyes landing on the ugly ceiling pattern. He felt so open, so vulnerable, his hips splayed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath; he trusted Lambert more than anyone, and already this was proving to be a big success. He’d never been more turned on in his life. A moment later his eyes shot open and he keened as he felt something wet and soft press against his asshole. He didn’t look down, determined to be good for his lover, but the way it moved made it clear that Lambert was using his tongue. He felt like he’d been punched in the gut with lust; his fists clenched as Lambert pushed, ever so slightly stretching his hole. 

“Oh my god,” was what he meant to say. What actually came out was a gargled noise that barely sounded like him. He felt Lambert grin against his skin as he pushed his hips back, desperate to get that skilled tongue deeper inside him. Lambert pushed in deeper, wet and perfect, before pulling out, dragging his perfect tongue along Aiden’s walls. He slipped out and licked a strip from his ass to his balls, nipping gently at the skin there before pulling away. 

“Good boy, taking my tongue so well.”

Lambert’s voice sounded...different. Thicker, rougher, not entirely human. His nails dug into Aiden’s thighs harder and Aiden could swear they felt sharper somehow. He wanted to look down so bad, to see the subtle changes that were clearly taking place in his lover, but he didn’t. He heard a zipper and his thighs tensed with anticipation. 

“Fuck, you look so hot like this. My perfect little slut, desperate for every touch. Bet you want my thick cock, don’t you? Bet you’d make such pretty noises taking every inch of me...Let’s kind out.”

Thankfully Lambert remembered the lube, the wet liquid slicking over his hole and two fingers pushing into him immediately. He groaned against the gag, his eyes rolling up, as he was filled. His wrists were starting to hurt but he could ignore it for the most part, too consumed by the feeling of Lambert’s fingers spreading him open. 

“You don’t even need this, do you, slut? I think you can take my cock all on your own…” He pulled his fingers out, leaving Aiden painfully empty, before he felt the smooth tip of Lambert’s cock against his hole. 

“Mmfhh,” Aiden moaned as Lambert pushed in just an inch, just enough to make his thighs twitch. 

“Look at me,” Lambert commanded. Aiden jerked his head and locked eyes with Lambert, and he couldn’t help but groan. Lambert looked...fuck, he looked gone, eyes wild with lust and something that Aiden had only seen a few times right before the full moon. He looked like he wanted to devour Aiden. Aiden looked at his big hands wrapped around his thighs and noted that his nails were indeed sharper. 

“Ready for me?” Aiden nodded frantically as he angled his hips down and Lambert cackled. “Not that it matters. You’re mine, aren’t you? And you’re going to take me so well.”

Without warning he snapped his hips forward, pushing his cock a few inches deeper. Aiden gasped and yanked against his chains without realizing it. He hissed at the sting in his wrists, but before he could pay it much mind Lambert was pulling out and pushing back in, sinking a few more inches. He was already big, but his cock felt bigger than normal, longer and thicker. Aiden panted as Lambert set a rhythm, pushing his hips firmly back and forth, his cock grazing Aiden’s prostate. He tried to meet his thrusts but the ropes around his ankles halted his movements. 

“Fuck, you’re so fucking tight kitten. As if you don’t take it several times a week already. Maybe I need to, ugh,” Lambert pushed in deeper and groaned. “Maybe I need to feed you my cock more often.” He started to speed up, his cock pistoning in and out, so thick that it was pressing against Aiden’s sweet spot. The pleasure was blinding; he couldn’t decide if he wanted to push against him or pull away from the strong sensations. His wrists seemed to decide for him. Without overthinking he reached up and grasped the bars of the headboard, making a sharp noise in his throat to alert Lambert. The man looked up at him with wild eyes and for a moment Aiden wasn’t sure he was going to stop, but his eyes shifted, softed, and he pulled out slowly before he reached up and popped the ball gag off.

“Are you okay, kitten?” His voice was soft, all hints of the Dom gone, and Aiden smiled. 

“Everything is amazing, love. I just- I think the handcuffs are a little too tight.”

“Do you want me to take them off?”

“No,” Aiden shook his head. “Maybe just put it on a looser notch?” 

Lambert made quick work of them, releasing and then re-securing the handcuffs to be a little more loose. He stroked Aiden’s cheek, gently dragging his sharp nails over tanned skin.

“Okay to keep going?” 

“Please.”

Lambert leaned forward and grazed his lips along Aiden’s ear. “Good boy.”

Lambert trailed his teeth down Aiden’s throat. They were sharper now, and Aiden wondered what it would be like to have those beautiful canines skin into his flesh, to bleed only to have Lambert lick him clean. He panted as those teeth rubbed over his nipple before Lambert pulled away.

“Watch me, darling.”

Their eyes locked as Lambert sunk his cock back into Aiden’s hole, fully bottoming out in just a few seconds. Aiden keened as his cock rubbed against his sweet spot. Lambert started moving, setting a quick pass. His breathing was fast and ragged, and he grasped Aiden’s by the ankles right where the ropes were as he fucked him harder. 

“Fuck, Lambert!”

“Hmm,” Lambert grunted on a particularly hard thrust, earning a sharp gasp from his boyfriend. “Appears I forgot to shut you up again. Pity. I suppose I just have to shut you up another way.” He reached up and shoved three fingers in Aiden’s mouth, pushing his fingers down on Aiden’s tongue. He obediently sucked the digits as his eyes rolled back, body pushing up the bed with each hard thrust.

His cock jerked hard as Lambert growled, picking up the pace. Aiden started to feel weird, a lightness to his head that hadn’t been there a minute ago. The world seemed to shrink to just him and Lambert, and then to just the intense feeling pulsing in his ass and spreading through his cock, to the fingers heavy on his tongue. Everything sounded quiet sans the sound of Lambert’s hips slapping against him, the slick sound of lube smearing on skin. He felt like he was on another plane of existence altogether.

And then he was coming sharp and sudden. He arched his back, pulling on his restraints, letting out a stuttered moan as he came over his stomach. His head felt fuzzy and floating, and a few seconds later he felt Lambert seize up and come inside him, body shaking. 

Nothing really felt real, not until he felt Lambert’s fingers work over his ankles. His legs settled slowly to the bed and then those fingers were on the cuffs, freeing his wrists. Aiden still couldn’t bring himself to move, nor could he voice the weird sensations sparking through his body.

“Kitten?”

No response. Lambert pulled a soft blanket from the end of the bed and wrapped it around Aiden. He sat next to him and pulled their bodies together, a hand going up to cup Aiden’s cheek. Aiden let out of deep breath; the light feeling was fading, followed by a heaviness that settled into his limbs. 

“Wha…” His voice shook as he could barely get the word out. 

“Subspace. It’s okay love, I’ve got you.” He stroked a thumb across Aiden’s cheek and pressed kissed along his hairline. Aiden sighed and melted into his touch.

“Th-that was...fuck...”

“Good?” Lambert ghosted against his hair.

“So, so good. Can I have water?”

“Of course, kitten. I’m going to get you something sugary, too.” As Lambert moved to get up Aiden wrapped his hands around him and pulled him back. He kissed Lambert slow and soft, his heart full. Lambert smiled and stroked a hand down Aiden’s back. As they pulled away he kissed Aiden’s nose.

“I love you, Aiden. Now, let me take care of you.”

“Thought you already did,” Aiden smirked.

[alivingstillness]

The heart intervention

A text about relationship, self-refinement and self-honesty, for the waking one.

You have come to the point of a story with another human being, where you feel tremendous urge for change. Unclear language and action between each other feels like it pushes you further towards the edge of a cliff that you no longer feel familiar with. 

To be infatuated with someone, ones actions and emotions often have the sense to be completely irrational. It is a forgetting of structure and behavioural patterns because for sometime, the feeling of union pushes mind to the backseat of our mechanism. It is not unusual that love-relationships are being built on this uniting desire to dissolve in one and another, but that the relationship takes new form when being tainted by life-experience outside of what is usually this first phase. 

“You need to love yourself, before you can love another.”

As long as union with another human being is the only experience one has had for complete absorption in love-bliss, the desire to experience union will be projected and wished for in the other person, - mistaking feeling and inner joy for the working of the other being. 

Since sex is such a potent way to for a moment shut the mind up and forget about the world, while one is in presence-absorption with flow of experience, it often becomes the gateway to project unity on a relationship that has gone sour or that is past the infatuation phase. It is a vicious habit because it is perpetuating ones own self-realisation and forcing the responsibility on your partner to fulfil yourself. Bodily urges can be satiated only for a short time, but recognising a deeper layer to our urges can make us go the root of them which makes us stop projecting our lack on other people. 

It is absolutely not about abstaining from sensory experience, or stopping the body or heart from attraction. But from self-realisation or awakening there is union beyond body, making the heart more infinite that one could ever dream of. 

To make love from the view of oneself already being in union, and being in the heart of awareness is like instead of acting as drops to become an ocean, you are the whole ocean in every drop, fully experiencing and never projecting. It gives you the opportunity to go into relation with another without tainting the relationship with your inner desire to feel whole. 

When realising divine union as yourself, there is tremendous energy, not only in your body but you become one with it. A journey with kundalini within your being, can work as layers upon layers of unfolding until focus becomes meditation and you surrender yourself to the Self, -rarely an instant transformation. On this journey, the human body and its energies change. 

There is frequent increase of experiencing on a more subtle level, which makes mystical experiences very common. Our whole vibration changes, making our vibratory field a natural director of things. When recognising awareness as yourself, the mind gets to be more of a witness of your path that has become pathless, watching new vibratory play take form, appearing as the path. 

Now, living as this bundle of vibratory potential, heart in Self-awareness and mind tagging along, can be sort of irruptive in the world of “I” the doer, for you are no longer that, and “I” is more like a divine act, a play of living form, no longer personal, yet very intimate. 

To act without acting or embodying the rays of uncaused and free will, one has to surrender the “I” completely. Even though some realisation of yourself might have taken place, it is hard to embody this divine surrender when living roles as mother, spouse, boyfriend, child or employee. One can understand the value of asceticism in this recognition. But it is also a bit of escapism of the play that is also the absolute, and if you have a structure that gives resistance to your truth, there is opportunity to surrender to that as well. But this is complex since some things are meant to stay and some to shatter. 

Embodying virtues of self-union and giving them form is alchemical, it lets awareness into maya and you get the opportunity - if you long for truth and purity enough, to play one last game in total freedom, which from a social perspective can be damn hard to let happen. 

If you have undergone some expansive self-understanding, your relationship with others will take new forms. Ones perspective about everything changes when there has been a new climax in self-exploration. A wise teacher once said: 

“A seed, having become a tree can never go back to being a seed, it is a tree!” - Rohan Ji. 

Since you are now a tree, you see the potential and recognition of a tree in the whole spectrum of form. It will change the way you look at things and others as much as it changes the person looking. Even your eyes will transform. Interactions with others are therefore in for a change as well. 

When being in an intimate relationship with someone who has not yet sparked his or hers desire towards the path of self discovery while you have jumped on the express train of inner fire to complete oblivion, turbulence are bound to happen. 

When the resonance between two beings become disruptive and your wavelengths of expression and understanding have become very different, the relationship structure easily becomes a battle of separate forces. Unless your parter is is willing to jump on the same train or is someone who embody enormous acceptance and security, then resistance, confusion and sorrow are some feelings likely to emerge. It might also be intimidating when noticing new behaviours, and a state of contentment can receive the opposite reaction from a partner that does not understand what perspective you are coming from. 

There is no right or wrong or anyone who can tell you how to handle your relationships or life situations after having discovered a new truth as yourself. But what can be helpful is a reflective reminder, that even though you might not be able to agree with each other or understand the others perspective, you do have the power to fully accept and surrender to what is. To recognise your feelings and your new vibration that speaks for itself and wants to be given the opportunity to direct your being in its natural flow. 

If you have already gone to the depth of your being, then there is no protection from hurt that will align anyone of you with the truth that you are. I am not telling you to to give up on someone or something as soon as things get uncomfortable, for there is much learning and growth when we confront feelings of discomfort. But they have to be confronted within, so we can have a clear language toward ourselves before we express it outwardly. Remember the seed that you were and the view that was once yours. It is not your task to push someone else forward because guidance has to come from within. If one is ready for existential pointers or true spirituality, then that will come from the desire of ones own path. It is a matter of heart longing for freedom that is outside of your personal directing. 

Stay as awareness and notice where there is stagnation and where there is flow. Be attentive and get to know your radiance in the world. Always surrender to what is presented and don’t put your wise heart behind bars. 

Embody your truth and see where it leads you. Give space for seeds to germinate, but do not make your personal ego the one to water them. What comes will come and what goes will go. Do not cling and do not be afraid, for you are eternal love. You can not give conditioned love from the structures of a finite mind when you have recognised it for its permeating liquidity, sipping through where tension can relax or be recognised as source. You are not responsible for your past feelings but you are responsible to recognise what is appearing now and act accordingly. 

Do not judge bundles of vibrations, but notice them from your heart. Honour hurt and honour joy. Stay in the present and let form be form. Let life be a grand intervention, but don’t forget yourself while investing in its wondrous play. 

Be humble, Stay awake.

/Alexandra

Artwork by James R. Eads and Chris McDaniel 

[ducktracy]

183. porky’s double trouble (1937)

release date: november 13th, 1937

series: looney tunes

director: frank tashlin

starring: mel blanc (porky, killer), tedd pierce (narrator), sara berner (petunia)

the end of an era—this is the final cartoon to feature “fat porky”. though he’d been dieting since late 1936 and steadily throughout 1937 with the other directors, frank tashlin was the last one to skinny him up. ironic, since he was such a stickler for streamlined designs! nevertheless, this is an exciting change, as porky is finally completing his transformation into the pig we know and love today.

not only that, this is the final appearance of frank tashlin’s petunia as well. she’d go on a hiatus all throughout 1938, only to be revived by bob clampetts with a totally new design in 1939. unfortunately, she was only kept for two more shorts before being discarded again. parting is such sweet sorrow!

we deal with not one porky, but two: an escaped convict kidnaps porky and steals his identity in order to successfully rob a bank. it’s up to petunia to put a stop to this criminal’s crime spree... or is it?

a silhouette of a pig furtively creeps under a blanket of typography from the title card. the pig isn’t our favorite stuttering porcine, but rather a grisly, stubbly porky doppleganger attempting to escape from prison. he jumps and growls at the spotlight that shines on him, shooting at the offscreen subjects. not only does he whip out two pistols, he even flips them--such a small detail of flamboyant dramatics goes a long way.

prison guards shoot back at the convict, silhouetted against the night sky, illuminated only by the glow of the searchlight and the stylized white bullets raining down below. the composition is stellar, its flatness reminiscent of the backgrounds of the early ‘40s cartoons, primarily from the likes of frank tashlin, chuck jones, and even norm mccabe at times. a whistle screeches as the prisoners run along, rifles in hand. in all, the dramatic opening rampant with silhouettes feels quite reminiscent to the opening of little beau porky, another tashlin entry just a year prior.

callbacks are more blatant as we undergo the signature Frank Tashlin Expositional Montage, footage of cop cars racing out into the street reused from tex avery’s the blow out, while a close-up of a newspaper press is also reused from avery’s porky the wrestler. all the while, a shot of the convict, identified as “killer” by one of the newspapers in the montage, oversees the chaos, his eyes drifting along to survey the action, his lips parted in a sneer. the narration (tedd pierce?) is the cherry on top--often times, narration has a tendency to feel redundant, as if it’s a crutch to support the gags (i.e. some of tex avery’s earlier entries), but here it elevates the theatrics of the entire prison escape.

speaking of narrators, ours introduces us to a gangster hideout--an abandoned all girls school by the name of katz school for girls, a nod towards studio business manager ray katz--no doubt a place frequented by killer. tashlin’s cinematography is in full swing as we iris in on an exterior shot of the hideout before panning along the interior, an arsenal of weapons littering the schoolroom of years past. a smooth, clever transition of pans from the classroom to a grandiose hallway, focusing on a door.

killer’s lackeys crowd around a table littered with alcohol bottles and playing cards, but most importantly, newspapers highlighting killer’s escape. his cronies all mutter words of praise in thick brooklyn accents (”yeah, dis guy’s clever, jus’ like who-dun-y! he can get outta anyt’ing!”). the conversation between the gangsters is surprisingly natural and fun to listen to: one of the lackeys likens killer to “clark taylor”, a humorously false remembrance of actors clark gable and robert taylor combined.

 knocking outside the door prompts the cronies to whip around with their guns drawn, all crowing “who’s ‘dere!?” in unison. outside the door stands a rather spherical caricature of mae west--if there’s a mae west cameo, it must be a ‘30s cartoon! funnily enough, tashlin gets an animation credit on buddy’s beer garden, a cartoon whose mae west caricature is relatively integral to the plot as well.

mae informs the boys that she comes peddling a message from killer. furtively, they all crowd around the door, stacking on top of each other, each peering out of their own peephole door. the silent film inspiration is strong in this shot. not only that, its composition also reminds me of some of the shots in tashlin’s porky pig’s feat, a personal favorite of mine. 

all hesitation to let newcomers in is dropped once the cronies spot their curvaceous company. they’re instantly smitten, batting eyelashes and all, one of the cronies going so far as to stroke mae the messenger’s face. tashlin’s cartoons always had a promiscuous flair to them, especially in the ‘40s--here is no exception. perhaps it’s only natural, seeing as this entire cartoon is one large parody of all of the gangster pictures churning out from warner bros. at the time (marked woman, kid galahad, san quentin to name a few.)

“he said...” mae lunges a haymaker, causing all four cronies to domino together and knock into the door as mel blanc settles out of his falsetto, “NOT T’ FOOL AROUND WITH DAMES, YA LUGS!!!” killer strips out of his outfit (even removing an iron barbell from where his chest is), growling “let that loin ya a lesson!” as always, mel is fun to listen to--his falsetto voice sounds rather similar to the voice he’d use for his lou costello caricatures. 

killer eyes a stray newspaper, gloating “once i was only public enemy numba NINE!” at the sight of his new title as public enemy #1. (it should be noted that in tashlin’s first picture, porky’s poultry plant, another “public enemy” gag is used. gag continuity is always fun to see!) his eyes drift over to an article on the other side of the page (if you look closely, the date is “thoisdays octember 42nd”, the paper addressing the denizens of “porkysville”.):

“hey! what’s dis? da guy looks just like me! he could be me twin brudda!” frank tashlin’s disgruntlement with porky can be felt multiple ways here. not only did he hesitate until 2.5 minutes into the cartoon to introduce him, the underscore is “puddin’ head jones”, a frequent score associated with porky on numerous occasions offering not-so-subtle commentary about his intelligence (or lack thereof.) 

killer ushers his lackey to take a glimpse at his bank-teller doppelgänger, whispering a plan to them involving porky and the bank, the narrator clueing us in that “the evildoers carefully plan another hideous crime.”

it’s not a tashlin cartoon without his signature up-shot: we iris in on an impressive up-shot view of “worst national bank”, a score of “plenty of money and you” and even the extravagant car horn of a limo solidifying that yes indeed, this here’s a bank! inside, porky dutifully deposits the goods of his spherically designed patrons. even by 1937, these mathematically proportioned designs were out of style--i suppose tashlin got the memo, though, seeing as this is the final “fat porky” cartoon, indicating a transition into more modern, streamlined designs. 

bob bentley animates a close-up of porky depositing the cash of a scottie dog. cue the ever prevalent “cheap scotsman” gag, the scottie’s coin purse (a sock with a lock on it) revealing a swarm of moths upon its opening. he deposits a lone dime, porky happily obliging to sign the bank book. the scottie leaves, and it only takes a few bloated seconds for porky’s brain to catch up with him, realizing that he just signed a bank book to deposit a measly dime. he smacks himself in the face, a carl stalling favorite cue of “you’re a horses ass” providing musical commentary as porky glowers into the camera, hand sliding down his pudgy face. stereotypes aside, this is a fun little scene. it gives porky some personality, accentuating his gullibility (a persistent factor of his character, no matter who is directing him), and bob bentley’s animation is extremely appealing. no discretion to volney white, who animates the next scene, but there’s a noticeable difference in bentley’s and white’s styles, bentley’s animation much more dimensional. i absolutely love how he draws porky.

secretary petunia, once again voiced by sara berner, coos at porky to come over to her desk. she wastes little time flirting with him, asking that the two “step out” for the night. volney’s animation of porky is hysterical--his discomfort is exceedingly visible. porky gets cold feet, a stuttering mess (more than usual) as he sputters “geh-eh-g-eh-g-g-gee, miss petunia, i’m, uh, buh-beh-bashful... huh...heh, you’re so eh-peh-purrty, and eh-uh-i’m, uhh... yee-you’re, uh...” cue one of my favorite deliveries ever by mel blanc as the lunch bell rings. porky grins, realizing he’s saved by the bell. he doesn’t stutter once as he declares breathlessly “it’s time for lunch, g’bye!” and rushes off. the comedic timing, both from mel’s delivery and volney’s animation, couldn’t be better. 

porky strolls outside, where he stumbles across killer (disguised as mae west again) hammering away at a car. porky’s good nature prevails, which often leads to trouble: with a polite tip of the hat, he asks if the woman needs any assistance. “would you be so kind?” 

as porky works on the vehicle, killer prepares to strike, hammer in hand. his motives are thwarted as porky turns to offer assurances that the car will be fixed in a jiffy, killer impatiently hiding the bludgeoner behind his back. the charade continues, porky turning and talking, putting a stop to the nefarious deeds. as porky turns to say “eh-nuh-neh-nuh-now, it’s in the beh-beh-eh-beh-bag!”, killer grunts in his normal voice “SO ARE YOU!”, kicking porky under the hood (bumpy ride!) and peeling off in the car to certain doom.

the transition from killer kidnapping porky to killer putting on porky’s clothes (who’s bound and gagged in a chair) is surprisingly snappy, yet comprehensible and smooth. of course, the narration does contribute to the clarity, but regardless, such a quick transition can be difficult to convey smoothly and clearly. tashlin does it very well.

volney white animates killer’s taunts to porky: “and, wit’ your sissy clothes on, i can rob da bank! and YOU’LL take da rap, see!? AHAHAHA!” volney’s animation is fun to watch--before i saw this cartoon for the first time, i only ever saw google images of it, this scene being one of those images. volney’s eye takes amazed me at how anachronistic they seemed, and i remember likening him to joe murray if he made cartoons in 1937. very fun eye takes indeed!

speaking of fun, bob bentley does a neat little scene involving a brawl between killer and his reflection in the mirror. he goes to check out his new pilfered duds (”now i look like da squoit!”), admiring himself in the mirror. suddenly, his reflection grows a life of its own, sticking its tongue out. real killer gets pissed (if you notice, when he does a take of surprise, you can see where the cel of the reflection gets cut off) and punches the mirror, leaving the glass broken, his reflection now touting a blackened eye. while the “reflection becoming sentient” gag may seem tired, i enjoy how interactive killer’s reflection is, all without saying a word. the staging feels incredibly natural and nonchalant.

with that, killer makes his way to the bank, whistling along to the underscore of “with plenty of money and you” beneath the words of the narrator. you can spot a bit of camera trouble as the camera pans out from the sign at porky’s desk reading “PORKY PIG -- OUT TO LUNCH”: the pan janky, the picture briefly turning blurry before resuming to normalcy. it’s more interesting than detrimental, especially considering warner bros never did retakes.

cue a montage of “porky” stowing away the goods of the townspeople into his pocket, pretending to deposit them in the bank. the minor key rendition of “puddin’ head jones” is a nice reminder of killer’s similarities and differences. similar in appearance, maybe, but not much else. 

petunia engages in her routine from before, attempting to seduce “porky”. mel blanc’s genius shines as killer responds to petunia’s calls in a gruff, scratchy “YEAH, WHAT IS IT!?” he catches himself, and responds in an authentic porky voice “ye-ye-ye-yes, wuh-weh-wuh-weh-what is it?” the transition is seamless. whether it was on one take or two separate recordings, i don’t know, but it remains just as entertaining either way. i especially like how killer switches from “yeah” to “yes”--porky’s personality, while still relatively thin at this point, is certainly coming clearer. at the very least, frank tashlin knows that porky wouldn’t respond by saying “yeah”. it’s a little detail, but it says a lot.

and, just like myself, petunia also understands the distinctions between killer and porky--especially when killer plants a kiss on her as soon as she pulls the same “how ‘bout you and i stepping out tonight, big boy?” routine. killer grabs her in his arms, sneering “why wait until tonight, baby?” and gives her a kiss, prompting petunia to smack him and declare “why, you’re not porky pig!” killer’s response is full of careful wit and thoughtfulness as he so eloquently answers: “SO WHAT?”

ringing the burglar alarm, that’s what. petunia discreetly sets the alarms off, prompting a flurry of bullets to whiz at killer offscreen (they sure have good security!). killer retaliates with his own shotguns, but quickly speeds off to his hideout, goods still in his possession.

killer and his lackeys admire the treasures stacked on the table, eager to pounce. a clever pan to porky, still writhing around in his ropes as killer sneers “AND DEY ‘TINK YOU DID IT!” 

tashlin’s artistry strikes again as we peer at the hideout through the bars of iron gates outside. truck out to reveal police officers crowding around outside, crouching on the ground to remain discreet. the shot is composed rather nicely, with the ground level nearing the horizon line, elevating the subjects to the middle plane. even though the shot itself doesn’t linger very long, the clarity is easy to see. a tree placed off to the side cleverly frames the two officers who are on the screen--little things like that make a big difference.

one of the lackeys notices the cops are lurking by, alerts the others, and immediately shoots his machine gun out the window. watch all of the stuff flying out of his pocket as he shoots--playing cards, knives, guns, jewelry, even a wig! definitely a fun scene to freeze frame and pick apart all the details. 

the cops retaliate, and an all-out shootout occurs. a gag reused from i’m a big shot now (another gangster parody cartoon) and porky’s duck hunt ensues as a cop shoots up at the building, the impact from his rifle driving him into the ground as each shot digs the hole deeper and deeper. another rather fun gag includes a woodpecker drilling into a tree, causing the officer in the branch to clutch his heart and moan “they got me!”

in the process, stray bullets from down below shoot out of the floor, conveniently ripping the ropes bounding porky to the chair. a quick bird’s eye view of the hideout, and it’s onto porky to take action. because we all remember porky as a suave, charismatic crime fighter, it’s only natural for him to jump onto a chandelier hanging from the hallway and knock all of killer’s cronies into a door. (do cartoon characters have stunt doubles? surely they do! don’t they?) 

volney white’s animation prevails for the remainder of the cartoon. porky hops down from the upstairs landing, plopping down right on top of killer himself. both come to fisticuffs, volney’s hilarious facial expressions and treg brown’s masterful sound effects combining to make quite the amusing amalgamation. certainly a scene worthy of freeze-framing for all of the funny faces!

perhaps even more amusing, however, is the drastic tone shift as soon as the cops arrive: no time is wasted during the transition between the fight and an armed cop probing “alright, who’s the killer!?” the fight breaks up in an instant off screen, and porky (his voice un-sped) pleading “i’m uh-puh-peh-puh-peh-porky!” the transition is almost too swift, but is comical over everything else, so i’m not too slighted by it. killer insists in his own gruff voice “I’M porky!”

the cop isn’t convinced, and tries again. both insist that they’re porky. that’s when it’s petunia to the rescue, who assures the cop that she knows how to find out. she cozies up to the real porky, once more enacting their “big boy” charade from earlier. as porky flops over his words in all of his collar-tugging glory, petunia gloats “that’s porky.” porky nodding along to her affirmation is a nice, subtle touch.

as we’ve repeatedly discovered, frank tashlin was no fan of porky. even though he outwardly admits that he didn’t like to work with him, there are multiple clues throughout his pictures solidifying his disdain. here is no exception, as petunia outright screws porky over. 

her sultry demeanor changes from reassuring to duplicitous as she heaves a sigh and coos “how that killer can kiss!” porky rightfully grows angry, and, in a pattern we’ll observe in many a cartoon, allows his jealousy to triumph his bashful, reserved nature as he grabs petunia’s arms and pulls her in for a kiss. killer’s eye-boggling, affronted expression and porky’s triumphant, chest-puffing stance after the fact are both hilarious. volney white does a wonderful job of conveying personality through his animation.

here’s the kicker. despite getting her kiss from porky, she still isn’t satisfied. she coldly remarks “i STILL take the killer!” with that, porky can only gawk in awe as petunia and killer march arm-in-arm out the door, petunia cooing that she’ll wait until killer gets out of prison. iris out.

the voice acting steals the show in this cartoon. mel KILLS it (no pun intended) as killer, from the falsetto to the porky impersonation--which is just mel doing his regular porky voice--to killer’s evil belly laughs. sara berner does a fine job as petunia, and tedd pierce’s narration is always a joy to hear. i’m unsure of who voices the lackeys, as they don’t quite sound like mel, but nevertheless, they too are fun to listen to, especially their introductory dialogue. if anything, you should check out this short for the voice work alone.

frank tashlin’s eye for cinematography sparkles as it always does. the opening montage is particularly impressive, especially the use of silhouettes. very bold and striking. his layouts are very well structured, and the cartoon flows very nicely. it’s a snappy one, but it hardly feels like it drags. there’s a lot packed into these 7 minutes! 

though i do pity porky, especially at the end, i will concede that the end IS a good shocker, even if petunia is straight up cruel. porky’s personality is slowly weeding its way out of the woods, with some traits (good natured, gullible) sticking to his character all throughout his career. progress is being made! and, as i said before, as much as i enjoy the fat porky design, i won’t shed too many tears over this being its final appearance, because it marks a new step forward for warner bros. cartoons are becoming funnier, snappier, wittier, the disney influence continually waning. good things await.

i definitely recommend you check this one out. while it’s not my all time favorite tashlin cartoon, there’s a lot to admire, from voice direction to animation to even the layouts. 

link!

[turningvioletviolet]

This post is going to be more about me organizing my own thoughts rather than me writing anything useful, so please accept my apologies lol.

The thing about activism that I think is difficult to swallow for a lot of folks (and that took me a loooooong time to learn) is that dialogue in enclosed spaces really don’t achieve much and if anything can detract from true progress.

Like, let’s say that a progressively minded young individual is moved to righteous anger after seeing the injustices in the world.

Great, excellent, we can use that anger.

Except oftentimes this leads to folks posting angry rants on the internet. Hell, I’m prone to doing the same thing, although that’s something I’m working on.

Let me back up a bit to add some context before I explain why I think this is a problem.

One of the most valuable facts I’ve learned about anger is that it’s generally a coping mechanism for painful emotions like fear or deep sadness. It’s a strange way of thinking about anger, but that’s how it’s often use—our brains have the neural pathways already built in for aggression, so it’s not a coping mechanism we need to learn or think about, and it is able to transform these painful feelings by blending them in with other emotions like pride or ego. Does it leave you feeling good? Probably not, but in many cases it might make you feel a bit more powerful, or at the very least it preserves your pride and ego.

So let’s say that someone, angry about the state of the world, becomes really active on the internet platform of their choice, writing and sharing about all the things that have caused this anger. What this does is reinforce the emotional benefits of anger (pride and ego—i.e., it reinforces a person’s feelings that they’re a good person with the right opinions on the correct side of history), while effecting very very little change.

It’s kind of a more subtle version of the whole #blackouttuesday thing on Instagram I remember seeing not too long ago. Sure, much of it was performative, but the majority of the people posting were people who genuinely believed that black lives matter but didn’t know how (or weren’t willing) to put in the actual work to creating change.

So what this does is it gives people a nonproductive outlet for their anger that’s able to satisfy their personal need to view themselves as a good person. Which sounds selfish when written like that, but to be fair it does come from the best possible intentions. The selfish aspects pretty much always happen on an unconscious level.

Now, don’t get me wrong—certainly interacting online can have some impact—just not in these big powerful ways. You might change a mind here and there, but unless they go out and start building change, even that kind of influence means very little.

Of course, there’s an argument to be made that any change is better than no change, but my concern is that the more that people learn to turn to internet rants and posts as the default outlet for their anger, the less that this anger gets diverted into better forms of activism: strategic protests (violent or non-violent), lobbying, phone banking, well-publicized boycotts (man I could talk about this one all day), etc. etc.

We have this big cultural concept that people must “break the silence” and “speak up” or else you’re being a bad ally/activist/citizen/whatever but I worry that maybe posting to social media platforms (especially ones where your audience likely has the same ideology as you already) is just convenient to those in power because it keeps would-be activists off the streets and off their lawns.

I don’t know. It just seems to me that the people I know who are most involved in activist work are also those who rarely if ever post about it.

[lavendermilkandhoney]

15/22 Death – Embers

In Game

Death is the card of becoming. It signifies an imminent and difficult transition – the conclusion of one phase of life and the beginning of another. Inevitably, something gets lost during the transformation, but something else will rise and take its place.

Location

This mural is found on the side of the tall Embers building in The Glen, where you meet Hanako Arasaka. Do not make the mistake of going inside (when you get the chance later in the story, of course), as it will be your point of no return. The card is not on top of the building but just outside on the side of it.

Zodiac Sign : Scorpio

The Death card is tarot is considered a wonderful card to find in a reading, it represents the concepts of death, birth, and rebirth. Scorpio for the zodiac is the mirror of these symbolic qualities for human experience.

In Tarot

UPRIGHT: Endings, change, transformation, transition

REVERSED: Resistance to change, personal transformation, inner purging

The Death card shows the Messenger of Death – a skeleton dressed in black armour, riding a white horse. The skeleton represents the part of the body which survives long after life has left it; the armour symbolises invincibility and that death will come no matter what. Its dark colour is that of mourning and the mysterious, while the horse is the colour of purity and acts as a symbol of strength and power. Death carries a black flag decorated with a white, five-petal rose, reflecting beauty, purification and immortality and the number five representing change. Together, these symbols reveal that death isn’t just about life ending. Death is about endings and beginnings, birth and rebirth, change and transformation. There is beauty in death, and it is an inherent part of being alive.

A royal figure appears to be dead on the ground, while a young woman, child and bishop plead with the skeletal figure to spare them. But, as we all know, death spares no one.

In the background, a boat floats down the river, akin to the mythological boats escorting the dead to the afterlife. On the horizon, the sun sets between two towers (which also appear in the Moon Tarot card), in a sense dying each night and being reborn every morning.

Upright

The Death card is probably the most feared and misunderstood of all the cards in the Tarot deck. Just mention the card’s name and most people freak out, worried they will suddenly keel over and die as soon as this card appears. Relax! The Death card can be one of the most positive cards in the deck.

After a period of pause and reflection with the Hanged Man, the Death card symbolises the end of a major phase or aspect of your life that you realise is no longer serving you, opening up the possibility of something far more valuable and essential. You must close one door to open another. You need to put the past behind you and part ways, ready to embrace new opportunities and possibilities. It may be difficult to let go of the past, but you will soon see its importance and the promise of renewal and transformation. If you resist these necessary endings, you may experience pain, both emotionally and physically, but if you exercise your imagination and visualise a new possibility, you allow more constructive patterns to emerge.

Similarly, Death shows a time of significant transformation, change and transition. You need to transform yourself and clear away the old to bring in the new. Any change should be welcomed as a positive, cleansing, transformational force in your life. The death and clearing away of limiting factors can open the door to a broader, more satisfying experience of life.

The Death card has elements of a sudden and unexpected change. Death happens to everyone, no matter who you are, how much money you have, where you live, or what colour your skin is; it is the same with a significant change. So, the Death card can be a sign you may feel as though you are caught in the path of sweeping change and cannot escape its effects (especially if accompanied by the Tower or the Hanged Man). Although the upheaval may seem unwanted and painful, this massive change could bring with it a series of unexpected surprises that create new opportunities and advantages for you.

Finally, Death is a sign that you need to learn to let go of unhealthy attachments in your life to pave the way to a fuller, more fulfilled life of deeper meaning and significance. Death teaches you to let go of outworn and outgrown ways of life and to move forward from them. This is a perfect card to break a bad habit or pattern of behaviour. See this as a time to cut out excess and let go of what is unnecessary for your life. Purge the old belongings, memories and baggage that are getting in your way.

Reversed

Upright, Death is a card of transformation and typically refers to needing to start over by letting go of the past. In the reversed position, Death can mean that you are on the verge of meaningful change but are resisting it. You may be reluctant to let go, or you may not know how to make the change you need. You still carry harmful viewpoints from the past that may interfere with a new opportunity. Because of your refusal, life has stagnated, and you feel stuck in limbo.

Death reversed offers you the opportunity to embrace change rather than resist it. See what wonderful possibilities become available to you as you say ‘yes’ to change. As you learn to release the past and surrender to the present, the future becomes even brighter. To support the process, repeat this affirmation: “I embrace change in all forms.” You’ll be surprised at how this subtle shift in energy allows new doors to open in ways you may never have expected.

On a deeper level, the reversed Death card can show that you are going through a massive personal transformation, often in private and out of view from others. You are releasing what no longer serves you so that you can make space for the new to emerge. Draw a follow-up card to understand better what you need to release and purge, or examine the other cards in the reading. You may be removing fear and limiting beliefs; you may be changing your habits; or, you may undergo a physical purging and transformation with plant medicine or other spiritual healing. You may not want to share this with others just yet – wait until your personal transformation has occurred, then share your story as a source of inspiration.

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Thank you so much @cybervesna​ for the polish traduction from the official guide book and its associations with the characters!