#so of COURSE it was never going to work

[lusilly]

i've been writing earth 28 for 11 years (i officially coined the universe # in april 2012) and i still cried like a baby while driving 7 hours yesterday because i listened to the mary lambert cover of teenage dirtbag and thought about 15yo lian

[the-barefoot-hatter]

pediatricians are hard to find.

you aren't broken and other important things a triangle needs to hear

[esmes]

that wouldn't be too painful, would it? 🎥 @theriddletrades

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:

the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)

it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.

"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)

as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.

that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.

[steddiealltheway]

(Part Two aka the final part to this)

As soon as Steve parks outside of Eddie's trailer, he races to Eddie's car door and opens it for him.

Eddie shoots him a bewildered look as he makes his way out of his car. "I can open my door, you know."

"But a proper date opens the door for you."

Eddie snorts. "So this is already starting?"

Steve shrugs as he follows Eddie to his front door. "I need all the time I can get to prove you wrong. Plus, I need to see this charm you insisted you have."

Eddie opens the door and dramatically guides Steve inside, quickly closing the door behind them. He stuffs his hands in his pants and avoids eye contact with Steve, staring off as if contemplating something. Eddie shakes his head and looks back at Steve. "Welcome to my home," he says holding his arms wide.

Steve glances around and nods. "It's cozy. I like it."

"No need to lie to me, Harrington."

"I'm not," Steve insists and laughs humorlessly. "I mean, you should see my house. It's huge but extremely uncomfortable. My parents hired a decorator and insisted that we couldn't make a single change. It's just so..."

"Nice to look at but not nice to live in?" Eddie asks, finishing his sentence again.

Steve nods quickly. "Exactly that."

Eddie gives him a small smile and leans back against his kitchen counter. That same distracted look crosses over his face.

Steve can't help but walk closer to him and say, "Eddie?"

Eddie snaps out of it and asks, "Why are you here, Harrington?"

"To prove you wrong and help Dustin," Steve answers easily, leaving out the part about how he needs to know where this will go.

Eddie hums in response and pauses before asking, "So, you're not going to use this against me."

Steve sighs. "Maybe I would've in high school, but no. I won't tell anyone how much I'm going to 'woo' you." Steve throws up air quotes around the word woo which makes Eddie smile a bit.

"Then can I tell you a secret?"

Steve nods.

Eddie pushes off the counter and steps toward him. "I've never been on a date before."

Steve stares at him for a second. "And Dustin still asked you for help?"

Eddie scoffs and walks past him. "No need to rub it in."

Steve runs a hand through his hair and follows after him. "Sorry, that was stupid to say." He grabs Eddie's hand gently and waits for him to turn to him. "I'm sorry," he says sincerely, "Not cool."

Eddie just gives him an unimpressed look.

"It's just hard to share Dustin. I'm used to him only going to me for help. I don't know. It probably sounds dumb."

"It doesn't," Eddie says, squeezing his hand.

Steve glances down at their hands, having forgotten that he had even grabbed Eddie's in the first place. He runs his thumb over the back of Eddie's and says, "Let's do this trial run."

Eddie pulls his hand away and runs it over his face. "Steve, I don't know how to go on a date."

"Which is exactly why we're doing this and whatever else you have planned for Dustin and Suzie after the movie date. Plus, I still have to prove you wrong." Eddie pulls his hair in front of his face nervously. Steve reasons, "Plus, this can be practice for any future dates."

"A date with Steve Harrington," Eddie says with a laugh.

Steve shrugs. "Why not?"

Eddie eyes him and breathes out, "Okay."

"Okay?"

"We can do this trial run, but just because I'm new to this doesn't mean you'll have an easier time winning me over."

Steve smiles and saunters up to him. "Are you sure about that?"

Eddie's eyes flicker down to his lips and back to his eyes, immediately making Steve's heartbeat stutter. He doesn't expect Eddie to card a hand through his hair smoothly, tilting his head back and making Steve's knees buckle a little. Eddie smirks. "Careful, you're not the only one who needs to prove themselves."

He backs away quickly and moves to his kitchen, rummaging around before coming up with a bag of popcorn which he pops in the microwave. Steve clears his throat, trying to gather himself before asking, "How have you never been on a date before?"

Eddie raises an eyebrow at him.

"I mean, you have all the... charm stuff down."

Eddie smiles. "So, you're already admitting to my charm."

Steve just puts his hands on his hips unimpressed.

Eddie's smile falters before he answers, "Okay, I mean I've hooked up with people at the Hideout, but no one's stuck around to actually go on a date with me."

Steve nods but replies, "That's hard to believe."

Eddie shakes his head. "Let's just say that it's easier for you than it is for me."

It feels like Steve's had this conversation before with... Robin? But why would it feel so familiar? He glances back at Eddie who has a bit of fear in his eyes.

The microwave beeps and suddenly it hits Steve.

He watches as Eddie grabs the bag, cursing slightly when the steam hits him. For some reason the revelation makes Steve feel a bit more nervous as the chance of something happening increases dramatically.

"Hey," Steve says, "It's okay if you're... you know."

Eddie's head snaps up.

Steve holds his hands up. "I promise I won't tell a soul."

Eddie relaxes a bit, but he stays behind the counter as he asks, "And you still want to do this trial run knowing that...?"

"Yeah," Steve says a little bit too enthusiastically, "Now I can be sure that your judgment of my skills is accurate."

This makes Eddie laugh loudly, and Steve immediately smiles. "You know, I think I'm finally starting to see why Dustin likes you so much."

"And why the ladies love me so much?"

"Don't push it, Harrington," Eddie says, pointing a finger at him before grabbing a bowl to put the popcorn in. He grabs the bowl and gestures for Steve to follow him to the couch. "So, you're the expert here, what do you recommend?"

"Like movie options?" Steve asks as he makes himself comfortable.

"Movie options, seating arrangements, where to put the popcorn..." Eddie trails off.

Steve tucks his feet under himself and shrugs. "Depends. If we were Dustin and Suzie I would say to watch something cheesy or something science fiction that they both enjoy. Dustin should definitely watch to see if her hand is free to hold at any point, but that's about it for them."

"And how would it change for us- or me?"

Steve smiles and scoots in closer, throwing an arm over the back of the couch. "If it's here then definitely get as comfortable and close as you want. As for a movie, it depends. Do you actually want to watch the movie or do you want background noise?"

Eddie rolls his eyes. "Classy."

Steve laughs. "No, no, I don't mean like hooking up. I mean if you just want to talk and get to know each other maybe make out a little, you want to pick a movie that you've both seen and won't be upset missing." He glances toward a stack of tapes near them and points at one. "Like Back to the Future, great movie to comment on and talk during, but I wouldn't be upset about missing parts. But I'm guessing you're like Dustin and Star Wars would be a no-go for missing scenes. At least, I was that way when watching."

"You've seen Star Wars? Which one?"

"The one with the little teddy bears."

Eddie hums in response.

"So, what are you thinking for a movie?" Steve asks.

"Back to the Future would be nice, but maybe we do like thirty minutes so we can get to my part of the date without you falling asleep on me," Eddie suggests.

"You already have an idea?"

Eddie shrugs and looks away. "It's kind of always been a date idea in the back of my mind."

"Secret romantic," Steve teases, hand dropping down from the couch to Eddie's shoulder, squeezing lightly.

Eddie tenses up a little, so Steve asks, "Is this okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just not used to it," Eddie answers honestly.

Steve nods and pulls away, moving to put the tape in the VHS player before coming back to the couch. He sits a little further away from Eddie and says, "We can keep our distance if that's more comfortable with you."

Eddie just nods and looks ahead at the screen, tilting the bowl of popcorn toward Steve who takes a handful. He tries to find something to say, but he's struck by sudden nervousness and wonders if Eddie's right about him cruising based on his looks because usually by this point whatever girl he's with is giggling and practically climbing into his lap to get closer to him.

But then Eddie relaxes a bit and throws his arm around the back of the couch which fills Steve with relief. "So, how did you get so close to Dustin? He goes on and on about you, but he never has told me that story."

Steve shrugs, trying not to give away how much the question freaks him out. He tries to keep the answer as close to the truth as he can. "He's friends with Nancy's younger brother so he's kind of always been around I guess. One day, I was bringing flowers to Nancy to apologize for doing something stupid, but Dustin found me instead. He told me that Nancy wasn't home and that he needed a ride and help with something, and the rest is history."

Eddie narrows his eyes at him. "I feel like there's more to the story."

Steve shrugs again and shoves a handful of popcorn in his mouth.

"Like the whole bat with nails that Dustin didn't even look twice at. The story between you two doesn't make sense."

Steve swallows his mouthful and moves closer to Eddie. "What if I told you that it's a story I'll have to come back to another time?"

Eddie twists toward him and tilts his head. "Do you really think that's going to make me less curious? And I see what you're doing trying to distract me with your charm."

Steve tucks a strand of hair behind Eddie's ear and asks, "Well, is it working?"

Eddie just shakes his head and says, "You wish, pretty boy." Nonetheless, he turns back to the movie leaving Steve to privately panic over the way the nickname makes him feel.

And maybe he wants to torture himself or something because next thing he knows, he's asking, "Well, how would you have distracted me?"

Eddie's head slowly turns to him, eyebrows raised. "Do you really want to know?"

Steve blames morbid curiosity as the reason he nods in response.

Eddie sets the bowl of popcorn down - and the implications of that scare Steve shitless - and he moves until their knees are touching. He gets a thoughtful look on his face as he recalls their conversation. "So, I was saying something about how the story between you didn't make sense. And instead of agreeing with it, I would've said something like. You know what doesn't make sense? How someone so gorgeous ended up here with me."

Steve flushes red but simultaneously snorts in response, "That's a horrible line."

"Yet, you're the one who is blushing."

Steve raises his eyebrows and says, "Well, if I got a do-over and time to think like you, then maybe I would've done something like this." Steve leans in and puts a hand on his chest, slouching down so he has to look up through his lashes to say, "Maybe that's a story for another time because right now... I have other ideas about what we could be doing."

Eddie stares down at him, hand slipping off the couch to trail up his back and into his hair. "And here I thought that you had said more intimate didn't mean sex."

Steve smiles and hopes Eddie can't feel his heart pounding in his chest. "It's true, but I also told you that some movies are great background noise to make out during."

Eddie's eyes flicker down to his lips, and Steve can feel his eyes start to flutter shut.

But then, Eddie abruptly pulls back and says, "Okay, yeah, you got me. I understand the Harrington charm."

Steve only smiles slightly, feeling the disappointment settle in his chest at losing the chance to kiss the boy.

"So, I think date part one is covered. Onto my part?" Eddie asks, already standing up and rushing to stop the film.

"Yeah, sure," Steve says.

Eddie glances at him and pauses before beckoning him to follow him. Steve gets up immediately and follows Eddie to where he assumes his room is and suddenly gets a wave of panic.

Eddie glances back and must catch the look. "Relax, I'm just grabbing you some warmer clothes."

Steve nods but stays in the doorway, glancing around at Eddie's room. Something about it feels so Eddie that he can't help but smile at it.

"Here," Eddie says, thrusting a yellow sweater into his hands, "I haven't worn it in forever but it should keep you warm."

"Thanks," Steve says, stripping off his jacket to throw on the sweater before putting the jacket back on. "But why do I need more clothes?"

Eddie smiles. "You'll see." He grabs the blanket off his bed and walks past Steve to the front door. He opens it and says, "After you."

Steve gives him a look of confusion before heading out the front door. Eddie follows behind him and closes the door before grabbing Steve's hand and leading him around the trailer to a ladder which he immediately starts climbing.

Steve tries to advert his eyes from the view Eddie's giving him before he follows him up the ladder, grabbing Eddie's hand once he makes it to the top in an attempt to steady himself. He's never been the biggest fan of heights, but he doesn't want to admit that to Eddie who guides him to the middle of the roof. He lets go of his hand to lay out a blanket and immediately lays down on it, patting the empty spot next to him.

Steve lays down and lets out a deep breath as he sees their view of the night sky, glittering with stars.

"Pretty amazing, right?"

All Steve can do is nod. He doesn't know if he's ever really taken the time to stare at the sky and appreciate its beauty.

"I like to go up here to clear my mind sometimes. But I've always thought it would be nice to share with someone else. But maybe Dustin and Suzie can just lay out in his yard instead because I think it would be life or death before I let one of them up here. Dustin would break a leg or something."

Steve chuckles and glances at Eddie only to find him staring at him as if trying to gauge his reaction. "Thank you for taking me up here," he says sincerely, going as far as reaching into the space between them and intertwining their fingers.

Eddie's hand squeezes his as he turns to look up at the stars, looking so at peace with the world that Steve can't help but stare at him.

Eddie glances at him. "Look at the stars, Steve. You're wasting your time staring at me."

"The stars are here every night though, so maybe I want to spend all the time I can looking at you."

Eddie turns to him with a conflicted look on his face. "Is this your Harrington charm?"

Steve shakes his head. "It's just the truth." He sighs and looks up at the sky. "Do you ever wish you could start over knowing everything you know now?"

"Yes," Eddie answers immediately, thumb running over the back of Steve's hand. "What would you change?"

Steve considers the question for a moment before turning to Eddie and saying, "Everything."

Eddie looks back at him and asks, "Would you change this?"

Steve's eyes search Eddie's, wondering how he wants him to answer the question, but he answers honestly, "I wouldn't have been such a dick earlier, and I would've changed this from a trial date to a real date."

Eddie whispers, "There's nothing stopping it from changing now."

Steve shifts onto his side and looks down at him. "Are you sure you want a date with King Steve of all people?"

Eddie shakes his head. "I don't think that's you. So why don't you prove me wrong?" he asks, running a hand through Steve's hair before resting it on the back of his head.

Steve lets Eddie take the lead to slowly drag him in, pausing when they're close enough to be breathing each other's air. "Are you sure you want this?" Eddie asks.

"More than you could possibly know," Steve replies before closing the gap between them and gently brushing their lips together before breaking the kiss to look Eddie in the eyes and make sure he's okay.

Eddie just pulls him back in and kisses him as if he's pouring everything he's feeling into the kiss which Steve returns just as passionately, unable to deny the truth that no kiss has ever made him feel this way before.

He cradles Eddie's face as they deepen the kiss and Eddie tries to pull him in impossibly closer, both hands making a mess of his hair until Steve pulls away, breathing hard before moving in to kiss him again as sweetly as he can before he rests their foreheads together.

They both try to catch their breath, and neither dares break the silence between them.

Eventually, Steve gives Eddie a gentle kiss on the forehead and rolls away onto his back, finding Eddie's hand and intertwining their fingers again.

They both stare up at the stars, not looking at each other until Eddie finally breaks the silence to ask, "Steve, where do we go from here?"

Steve turns to him and squeezes his hand. "I don't know," he confesses. "But what if we didn't think about it now? What if we just see what happens?" Steve asks, not wanting to think of the reality of their situation.

Eddie nods. "I like that idea."

So, they both turn back to the stars, wishing that their paths will be able to cross again.

Little do they know that their wishes will be granted soon.

(Super quick happy ending in the tags)

Tag List <3 (Sorry this took longer than planned):

@estrellami-1 @resident-gay-bitch @7-starboi @steves-yellow-cardigin @anaibis @saramelaniemoon @big-ol-regret @piemaker-from-gallifrey @queerriotgrrrl @sharingisntkaren @zoeweee @goodolefashionedloverboi @l0st-strawberry @dragonmama76 @pluto-pepsi @its-a-me-a-morgan @tiny-enthusiast @aol19 @pansexualhousecat @paintsplatteredandimperfect @thesuninyaface @messrs-weasley @gemini-local @paperbackribs

[patrickztump]

these are the last blues we’re ever gonna have, let’s see how deep we get…

[xxplastic-cubexx]

it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent

[dukeofthomas]

why does every reconciliation fic go like this

[milkweedman]

It is interesting how much math comes into even the most basic of like. Making things. Making almost anything. And often not numbers necessarily but proportions and geometry. I think all the time about how castles were built with geometry at the heart of it. And I use the same kind of proportional math to make socks fit. And none of my pieces are ever knit with a prime number of stitches--because you use factors to make neat colorwork and ribbing and different stitches. Idk ! I remember constantly thinking 'how the hell is THIS gonna come in useful ?' But it always does. Math is at the heart of everything, and knowing how to apply it is a tool of critical importance to Thinking Up A Shape And Making It.

[mohntilyet]

let me be clear i like veilguard but it does suck that no one disapproves anymore outside of like. three choices. i want to be fighting for my life earning approval back again someone has GOT to hate my ass. i should be careful about party composition and companion reactions again. i miss tactically taking fenris out of the party before i'm nice to merrill like those were the days

[chill-vibes-but-rainbow-panic]

Finally back, with a lil more of Chill's Artist Admiration Sketchbook; making fanart for blogs I like :D

@kingspacebar

Accessoires and colours my beloved <3 <3 <3

[one-bunny-a-day]

30/11/2023

what're they dancing to?

[dragzo]

oh Red Son no-

[towerofluin]

C’mon Raph, don’t noogie the elderly

(Or: finally, communication)

[ohitslen]

College (uni??) AU catering to my own interests as it should always be hehe :)

[ratatatastic]

"other guys joke that theyre not allowed to bring you around their wives..." "you gotta have to ask ekky about that one thats on him"

WSFL Inside South Florida | 4.11.24 (x)

he was so serious and focused on answering questions and then immediately gets thrown a curveball at the end that is "hey so some are saying...im not saying who... but some not naming any names... HOWEVER that you are so hot possibly sans shirt... you are not allowed near the wags... how do you respond is this true..."

throwing his head back to laugh because he got his bonded dpair's quote thrown back in his face while trying to talk about contract extensions and fishing...

"thats on him" the way he cheekily shrugs a shoulder and flicks his head...man whos well aware who started that rumour and will not stand idly by while revisionists rewrite history NO ONE ELSE HAS SAID SUCH A THING. NO ONE ELSE HAS JOKED ABOUT SUCH A THING. AND IF THEY "HAVE" ITS ONLY BECAUSE OF ONE (1) MAN AND ONE MAN ALONE.

and it was in fact "on him" because that quote comes from a miami herald article about forsy FROM FEBRUARY. A 2 WHOLE MONTHS BEFORE THIS INTERVIEW.

Miami Herald | 2.10.24 (x)

and like all things it always leads back to ekky when it comes to anything forsy-related, the personal menace of the team. and also his bonded soulmate or whatever. may god bless this beautiful little freakish relationship.