#so obviously i had to make redraws
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shepard-tone · 5 months ago
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oh yes oh yes they both reached for the gun!
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distant blue sky
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sirstraws · 2 years ago
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its pride month strade you know what that means
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astranauticus · 1 year ago
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(spoilers up to orv chapter 270) (sort of?)
you ever just kinda. suddenly realise what you're listening to
#omniscient reader's viewpoint#omniscent reader#orv spoilers#orv#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#art i made#the first hyperlink is to the song on youtube the second one is to my translation btw#that caption was not an exaggeration i was deadass like walking back from class with my spotify on shuffle and kinda like#tuned back in to what was playing in my ears and just had a kinda. HOLD UP WAIT A FUCKIN SECOND#honestly the whole song is kinda yjh if you squint and like for what its worth literally the only reason this is tied to like#that scene from 269 specifically is bc i literally just read that part today so it was really fresh in my brain#god the process of making this was so strange too bc i did it in almost one sitting except i had a fuckin SPORTS EVENT of all things#in the evening so it was like. 3 hours straight of doing this 2 hours of playing sportsball of all things then another 3 hours of this#so now i am physically mentally AND emotionally drained! genuinely couldntve had a more exhausting consecutive 8 hours if i tried#btw fun fact in the spirit of like. making life easier for myself all of yjh's flashback frames or whatever are webtoon panel redraws#except for that last one obviously cuz the webtoon isnt there yet (which. wow the processing of drawing that was. very painful)#but its like. I AM THE WAY THAT I AM if given the chance to draw to my knowledge one of the most tragic moments from the story I WILL DO IT#ok looking back theres a bunch of editing errors but also i just. really need to go do my ACTUAL FUCKIN WORK LMAO#god my arm hurts#hmmm i might clean up that 10 scenario sketch later on. i kinda like how the wings turned out#and also kdj's dipshit expression.
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northern-passage · 1 year ago
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Hi, I was wondering if you’ll ever make the old Patreon art/writing public since iirc you don’t intend to reactivate it for a long time? I was a member while it was active but I accidentally updated my app so I can’t view them anymore, I understand if you can’t/won’t though.
i can do that if people are interested! particularly thinking about those harvest festival snippets i wrote, those are well over a year (maybe even 2 years? time is fake) old and were on patreon the entire time & it's almost fall here... i say thru clenched teeth while it's still 100 degrees outside....
the majority of the snippets that were up were definitely like closing in on at least a year old so i do think it's been long enough and it would be fair to post them now... maybe i'll pick a random week and post them all one day at a time lmfao since iirc there's at least one for each companion (thinking specifically about the nsfw ones)
the art i don't plan to repost here though, mainly because i don't like it anymore 💀 but also because i dislike the way tumblr is handling their content moderation and i'm not interested in getting this blog flagged after 3 years because some human moderator decided my tasteful nude drawings of trans people (that 100% follow tumblr guidelines btw) are actually too offensive for their delicate constitution... but that's a whole other complaint for another post lmfao. i haven't had any issues at least with posting written nsfw so i'm less hesitant about posting that stuff instead.
but yeah i think maybe next month i can do the harvest festival snippets for october? i'll probably edit them a little bit since they're so old but i think that could be fun :-)
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misiahasahardname · 9 months ago
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i found a photo of me in the hospital after my first seizure and i am wearing the most HORRENDOUS combination of clothing imaginable 😭😭
thinking of redrawing it with mikey because epileptic 2012 mikey is real
#either that or i'll just redraw it as myself#i'm not gonna share the photo rn but like. god girl what were you thinking#a blue shirt with pink and yellow cats that's obviously too small for me#light grey pajama bottoms with pink cuffs(?)#ugly ass red socks with a white pattern or smth that look a bit like the psych ward socks#the nerdiest pair of glasses i've ever owned#and leapard print trainers 😭😭 (velcro because i didn’t know how to tie my shoes)#please get a better taste in fashion omg#my first seizure story is pretty funny to me tbh#i was at my desk at like 10pm colouring a pair of sunglasses red in honour of red nose day#(it was supposed to be part of my outfit for the next day because red nose day and pudsey day tended to be non uniform days)#and all of a sudden i wake up on the floor with a mild stomach ache#now i had had a lot of those and my parents began to not trust me when i said i felt sick#but this one was a bit worse than usual#so i started making whimpering sounds to make it beleivable#and my parents (who were in a bit of a panic) misinterpreted this and thought i was in too much pain to talk 😭😭#and i was so confused because i was just. lying on my bedroom floor as my parents ran about stressed saying shit ljke#“should we call them” which confused me further because#why are you already calling the school to tell them i'm gonna be absent??????#and then someone FINALLY explains to me i had a seizure and i'm like. oh.#i have a few other odd seizure stories#like when i had a seizure while playing othello#or while playing crazy 8s on gamepigeon with my friends#or when i had sent a status “coming back from the hospital” which scared my grandma but we assured her i was fine and healthy#and that it was just a checkup and everything was good and i hadn’t had a seizure in ages#and then i proceeded to have a seizure that night.#the irony is amazing#epilepsy: making my life interesting since 2018(?)#tw seizure mention#mia has a stupid thought
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oceanicjessie · 9 months ago
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[ Stuilly as chain shipping ( Adam & Lawrence ) from Saw 1 ( Redraw ) ]
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AYEEE I have hit my one a few months, fully rendered piece quota. Im so thirsting for Billy here, Stu ehhhh, BILLY YEAAHHHHH! I blame myself for thinking about this, Sharpth1ings for giving me the hype and Remi for fueling this. Me and Remi MAY be co-writing a Saw 1 fic, with the concept of Billy and Stu being taken by Jigsaw and basically being Adam and Lawrence but with a few changes, obviously. I make no promises about it happening but IF IT DOES, you will 100% hear about it here on my blog. This drawing gave me so much trouble, for once I really enjoyed the rendering but I don't do face perspectives ever so I had to mess around with that for most of my time. But in the end, I'm glad I did it because I am beyond proud of this.
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heck-theo · 8 months ago
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Okokokokok- ignore how rough and messy some of these redraws/sketches are - but it's apparently also dinosaur month?? (WHY did no one ever tell me it's Jurassic June? I love dinosaurs) And like. What if Rise but dinosaurs?!
I don't often post such loose sketches but I wanted to show these off cause I really like some of this.
Design choices and dino species + the reasons I picked them bellow (looking for potential Donnie dino suggestions):
Clothes: Without the shell they really need clothes. They'd all have pretty much the same pants to keep some unity, except maybe Mikey (I decided they should all have the same pants after I finished the Mikey sketches, not sure if I'll keep the shorts or change to pants). Accessories are a mix of pre and post finale.
Raph - I think would keep it simple and practical but would also wear nice jackets and stuff when in casual situations. I need to work on giving him an alternative outfit and tweak his accessories a bit.
Donnie - An oversized pull-over hoodie cause we already know he loves that shit. We see him wearing it all the time. Easy enough. He wears a comfortable singlet underneath so the straps of his battle sail don't rub. Nice soft fabric, tight fit so it doesn't move around, tucks it into his pants, etc. When he wears the battle sail he won't overheat so he can wear hoodies basically all year round.
Leo - He's in one of those shirts with obnoxiously large arm holes and make it cropped cause 1. I think he would 2. I want it to be different from Raph and Donnie's singlets. He usually wears the shoulder strap off his shoulder but pulls it up when he needs to. He has some of the black bandages over his mid drift atm but I might just make his pants super high waisted in the final version. He'd probably wear a bomber jacket (also cropped?) over the top for cool weather, but doesn't like to hide his feathers.
Mikey - I think he'd mostly wear hand me downs when he's younger. He definitely goes through a stage of rebelling and wanting to pick his own and would find a middle ground of appreciating sharing some of his brother's clothes and modifying them, as long as he has the choice of his own available. Not sure if that would be before or after this design. At the moment he's got Raph's old shorts (from a loooong time ago), Leo's old shirt, and Donnie's old zip up hoodie. He does have his own accessories though, including pins instead of stickers.
Dinosaurs: I kept them all as non-avian dinosaurs, AKA not including animals that are colloquially considered dinos but aren't (like pterosaurs). I wanted to keep an even split of herbivore vs carnivore just so one wasn't the odd one out. I wanted to keep most of their body structure, colours and distinguishing features the same as canon. Obviously I added tails cause, yeah, of course haha. I did want them to be recognisable as different species of dino using distinct characteristics that their species is known for. I did ignore a lot of differences though, like size and bipedal vs quadruped (although the quadrupeds might be more likely to go to all fours, especially when fighting or afraid). Leo and Donnie are carnivores so have sharper teeth and claws.
Raph - Some kind of Ceratopsian (likely Triceratops or something very similar) and he was the first idea I had for this and I'm really happy with it. I think it just suits him. Trike Raph just came to me in an unprecedented moment of genius. His spikey frill replicates his spikey shell. His sturdiness, protectiveness and willingness to kick ass when needed, all scream trike to me.
Donnie - Spinosaurus but looking for other species recommendations. More details below: So I wanted to figure out a way for him to have tech with a similar function to his battle shell (in the sense that it's something that helped him in day to day life) and so I went with spino cause one possible theory about a function of spinosaurus' sail is temperature regulation. So his battle sail has heating/cooling systems as well as other tech. A spino's sail was probably not fragile but the battle sail would also help protect it from being targeted during fights or crushed during extreme impacts. It was also thought to be used for display, and what's more of a display than a battle sail? The only problem I have with this is that it's lacking part of what makes Donnie's battle shell so great, which is that it is essentially a prosthetic. Not quite the same as how prosthetics are used in people of course, just in the sense that it is replicating the functionality of a body part that he doesn't have (I can't think of a better word). Well he does have a shell but it doesn't function in the same way that his brothers shells do, which leaves him with less defense than they have, hence a big reason for the battle shell (I hope I explained this well, it was hard to try and word properly). I can't think of a good way to do this with dinos. I was thinking of a carno or something with tiny arms, then Donnie could have tech enhanced arms but I'm pretty much ignoring body structure in the others so it would be weird to have just Donnie be affected by a difference in limb structure/functionality. I was thinking prosthetic tail but every non avian dinosaur had a pretty substantial tail. Except therizinosaurus but even they hade pretty obvious tails. I'm open to suggestions for this one if anyone has ideas. It does have to be an extinct non-avian dinosaur (anything not in Avialae), preferably carnivore but if someone suggests a really good herbivore or omnivore then I can try and swap Mikey for a carnivore. I want there to be an even split. I also wanted to give him something different on his face, like his brothers, and that could only be a little spino crest and it crowds the top of his head but I can't put it anywhere else...
Leo - A type of Dromaeosaur. I was tossing up between this and a dilophosaur where his red stripes were part of the dilo's crest, cause I wasn't sure about giving him feathers. But dilo Leo was so plain compared to the rest and the crests were hard to get looking right so I went back to raptor Leo. I can definitely imagine him literally and metaphorically preening his feathers too. You can't really see it but he does also have that big raptor claw. Raptors were smart, tactical and worked in packs so I think that suits him. I wasn't specifically referencing how some artists draw Leo's stripes coming off his face (I was just trying to replicate his stripes somehow, even though it doesn't make a huge amount of sense) but I realised afterwards that it kinda looks like that and might have been subconsciously inspired by it.
Mikey - Is an Ankylosaur. I'm pretty happy with the species but I need to work out the design of his armour plating so that it looks interesting, cool and protective but isn't too chunky, too pointy or super lumpy looking. I went with an anky cause Mikey is often hiding in his shell and he can't do the same here but he could curl up in a defensive ball. Plus I could imagine him using his tail club in his razzmatazz fighting style. A little like his kusari-fundo or nunchacku/nunchucks (not sure on proper wording).
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leconcombrerit · 3 months ago
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This thing had been rotting in my files for a year (minus three weeks but that's basically a year). It was a redraw of one of my first ever pieces for this fandom, and I still find it quite okay if a little stiff in places, so I thought I might as well share it since I don't draw that much anymore.
And then I had second thoughts, which obviously led to me posting it anyway, as you can see, but I realized I've almost made it a point not to draw anything related to Sasi anymore. As in at all. I can't, and I don't want to, and even sharing old art feels a bit 'meh'. It's too directly linked to my long going art block.
What I mean by that is that if I took all the followers I have out there and asked them what they know me or initially followed me for, you might have a fair amount of Lis 2 and the occasional Desert Bluffs afficionados, but you'd get an overwhelming majority of Sanders Sides. Sanders Sides fashion posts even. I was by no means famous for it or anything, but at my small artist scale, it was the biggest success I had.
And it makes it much harder to go back to it at all now. One, because I don't give a damn about the show anymore. Two, because I haven't been properly obsessing over anything in a while (there was a series early this year but given the actual emotional distress I get thinking about it I'm ruling it out). I haven't had real engagement from my own brain, nor real engagement from a broad audience -which makes sense, I'm not posting for anything that will reach a broad audience. But it takes its toll regardless.
Even when I finally finished writing a long fic, I couldn't help but feel 'all this for what ? Ten people or so and two hundreds have dropped it ?'. Which is a bad way to think about stuff you write for your own enjoyment but, you know, the brain gets happy with external validation even if you pretend really hard you don't care.
And so it feels tempting to go back to the golden goose just the time to get the creative juice pumping back, and I try, and I always end up frustrated and angry and feeling even less like making art that before. I'm not having fun with Sasi. Like an old friend you have nothing to say to and yet you have so much to say otherwise, so you get a bit frustrated, you know ? Not sure I'm making much sense, but that's how it feels. I want to have something like that again, but it won't be with Sanders Sides, and I somehow just want if off my radar.
It was left hanging, then lost its spark, and then I stopped caring altogether and I most likely won't even watch the finale when it does come out. I'm over it. I wish I wasn't though, because it does feel like the artistic spark won't come back all on its own this time, and the buzzing community made it so much easier to bounce back and do shit when your brain got wired all wrong.
It sounds like I'm just bawling after love and likes and stuff, and I guess that's part of it, in a way ? Like I'm in no place to do things for myself, and seeing the one thing I used to use to get back in the flow giving me a bored sense of dread doesn't feel too great.
Yet this drawing is still good ! I find it good ! I don't remember everything, but I can tell from the looks of it that I spent a while on it ! It's nice ! I should celebrate that. So I'm sharing it. I think it will be the last piece of Sasi I ever share, though. I'm not watching the finale when it comes out. I don't care about it. I'll just keep doodling my OCs and characters from cool books every once in a while. I'll write little things.
I just really, really need to stop trying to go back to it when it's clearly not working and not even for good reasons. It was a fun ride though ! So yeah. Basically. A whole ass rant for a one year old piece of art. I'm in my bi-annual depresso mood, nothing too surprising there.
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ryanseslow · 9 months ago
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How to Create Paper Cut-Out Reliefs: Tips and Techniques for Beginners
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Back again with another lil' series of 2D wall relief paper cut-out forms. Both of the pieces below follow the same process and technique. Im really happy with the process and outcomes. Im working on animating them as we speak. I'll add them to this post later. My paintings inspire my drawings, and my drawings are inspired by those same forms found in my paintings. It makes sense that every so often I want to make those forms "pop out" and off the surface of a flat plane. Alas, it all starts with a quick sketch. See below, just a series of light loose free flowing lines take the lead, forward ->
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Here we have a dude posing for a profile style portrait. Most likely, this is inspired by the NYC B-Boys from the years 1983 - 87ish. Either way, it's nostalgia for me. Once the sketch feels good, I'll break out the paper and x-acto knife. I keep telling myself that one day Ill work with another material other than paper for these works, perhaps wood or metal.. It will happen, I can foresee it for sure, hang in there. Im using a white bristol paper for the cut outs, I believe it is the vellum type and not the glossy, but either or will work just fine. I love to cut paper and the whole medium of paper art in general.
Paper cut-outs, also known as paper cutting or Kirigami, is a traditional art form that involves cutting shapes and designs out of paper. The history of paper cutting can be traced back to ancient China and Japan, where it was practiced as a folk art. The Chinese and Japanese would create intricate designs, often featuring animals, plants, and mythical creatures, and use them as decorations for festivals and special occasions. I always loved it and have felt inspired by these pieces.
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Using the sketch above, I apply the "map" of the shapes and forms that I see. Sometimes I redraw those forms on the paper that I will cut out, and sometimes I just "draw" with the x-acto knife to recreate the forms. Sometimes, it's a combination of both of those techniques. There is also a series of "out-take / byproduct" cut outs that do not make the final piece, those can be saved and used for the next piece, obviously!
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I layer the forms on top of each other to compose the arrangement as a whole, its fun to watch it all come together, in the next phase, you will need some kind of durable tape or you can make little paper forms that can be pasted to both sides of the forms as they stack, this will create the gauge and depth of the piece once it is placed onto the wall.
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This is the final composition above, I love it! I used a roll of duct tape to make small cylinder forms that connect the pieces together, the piece as a whole comes "off of the surface of the wall" by about 1.5 - 2" inches - you can play with this a bit but keep in mind, the tape makes the piece heavier and it will want to comply with gravity :)
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I hung the piece (also temporarily adhered via the same duct tape) for the photoshoot and to also get a good look at how it will function on the wall. I have an old painted fire place in my studio that is a great surface for hanging things, I love the contrast of textures between the bricks and the paper, as you know, the shadows will be super cool to see too.
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Once I had the whole piece constructed I took a few pictures of it. I immediately wanted a clean vector line drawing of the whole character. I brought the photo into adobe Fresco and used a vector brush to draw this lovely variation. This is how my brain works, I switch paths because I know they are really pipelines to the "next thing" that I will push this to, so forward we go.
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Then, it was light source and photo shoot time. Im not really happy with these picture as traditional "photographs" as I know I can do a much better job, but, as a series of "sketches" for a planned photo shoot, these will really help to make those plans a reality. I love neon colored lights. I have a bunch of them from various places and spaces that I found on the internet. Amazon has a great selection of flashlights with various colored light options. Get a few and play around with how the light can effect your work and the shadows that it creates. This is where the depth and gauge of your pieces play a role. The photos below are also a part of the same session, which all took place over a few days.
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Here is another variation with a different character.. What do you think? Shall I make more?
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pidges-lost-robot · 9 months ago
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Redrawing of the characters with different outfit ideas
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Drawn on this scene:
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This is an au of if their outfits had not been so obviously the colour of their lions and if they’d eventually transitioning to something that fits more with their lions colour palette
I decided to have Keith be a lot more practical for living out in hot weather with a lot lighter clothing cause I don’t think he can be bothered with heatstroke (and yes Lance makes a wide variety of jokes from ‘glad we’ve got amelia earhart onside’ to ‘didn’t realise we needed help escaping from an Indiana Jones character’ or ‘hey what National Park were you a ranger at’ and finally ‘I think Laura Dern wants her outfit back’
Pidge I wanted to go for a more teal which is more in keeping with her brother’s palette but as @seypia pointed out her brother actually at some point wears in the flashback so that’s what I tried to go for
I’m having the og blue of Lance’s shirt be a more reddish purple, where its clearly pointing towards a more Keith colour like he’s trying to peacock as, rather than dressing more as himself
And Hunk covering up his more prominent yellow colour in his palette with a more violet colour, a much softer colour that would blend more into the background of the show as he’s unsure about this whole idea
I may do one of these in the shack with Shiro’s outfit change but this is what I have for now
(I did not redraw the bike I tried then lost the will with it xD)
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galoogamelady · 1 year ago
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Dunno if this is something you've been asked before but how does our favorite post apocalyptic beanboy and his most excellent gal celebrate Halloween in the Commonwealth?
It's been a long time since we talked about this in detail (probably in 2014-15?) but I think we established that many traditional American holidays were lost in the Great War (people were more concerned with surviving, obviously). A lot of these celebrations were kept alive by Vault residents however. Buttons does his best to inspire his fellow Arefu settlers to celebrate Halloween to some extent and Meg plays along, even if it makes no sense to her. The budget Brahmin has to be my favorite Halloween post so I did a quick redraw:
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Buttons had a couple other Halloween costumes since 2014:
Butt-O-Ween skeleton
Slutty Molerat
Hancock (aka raunchy mayor)
GTA Online Buttons is a sexy cat every year
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solarroseart · 4 months ago
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I HAVE HIT HIM WITH THE DE-ROBOTICIZER
So I never really thought I'd even attempt to "mobianize" Omega cause he is perfect the way he is but also, for a long time I struggled thinking of something that really fit his personality... and then this hit me. And I knew I had to be the person to bring it to life.
So here is Dragon!Omega! With a few of my notes! I tried to keep the spirit of his design intact but I couldn't include absolutely everything. I think if I were to redraw this I'd make his chest a bit broader to match his original shape.
Obviously he can breathe fire, But I'm thinking he could also shoot rapid blasts of flame similar to bullets from his jaws as well. He could also shoot a very large fireball if he tried hard enough, like a big fire-bomb.
He would lose some explosive power, but would make up for that with speed and the new ability to fly, so I'm not sure how much he'd mind. I think he'd be pissed at first but get hyped for it after not too long. Nothing can stop him-
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aether-friskarts · 4 months ago
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i wanted to practice perspective and make an actual background at the same time soo :P
(it was also technically a redraw of my first ever heather art, but more like very loosely inspired, ill put it under the cut)
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i tried to keep the pose somewhat similar, but there wasnt much to work with if i wanted to make my new version interesting. So i mostly went off the vibe of uncertainty that i was getting from the post + expression, and tried to amp that up in my new one. also still had to incorporate the halo of the sun somehow, obviously lol
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illym · 6 months ago
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Hi, hello, if you like reading about localization choices be sure to check below the cut because I Had Fun Here (not being sarcastic. It was enjoyable learning about vinegar in Japan).
Translation Assistance: @masked-and-doomed + @solradguy
ID in alt.
Cleaned and original comics below the cut.
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Specific Assistance:
@.masked-and-doomed: transcribed what I couldn't pick up.
@.solradguy: Verified the translation of what the npc was saying in panel 4, offered a line for it.
Fun fact: The Japanese department of a college all got together to work on this one.
I hated redrawing the back of Ky's head. I'm glad I was able to hide most of it behind the text (lol).
Anyway, let's get on with the localization (and process) discussion!
In the original text of this comic, Ky was drinking vinegar.
"But Illym," you ask, face twisted in confusion, "Huh? Who drinks vinegar as a drink for fun? Is the joke that being compared to Robo-Ky made him go mad and believe that vinegar is delicious? Did you change the joke? Why are you writing me to be so verbose?"
I'm a very verbose person. To answer the rest of your questions, here's what DeepL gave me when I put the transcript in.
[
npc:
Captain… it's only the body that gets soft from drinking vinegar.
ky:
I… This is for your health!
npc:
If you drink it without diluting it, you'll get a stomach ache.
]
At first, I assumed that DeepL has misinterpreted some other drink as vinegar, such as cider, sake, or general alcohol. In this example, even, it translated Ky as saying "For your health" when within context he should obviously be saying "For my health".
I went to [ https://jpdb.io/ ] to check the line. Lo and behold, it still translated as vinegar. Hm. By this point, I'm fairly sure it's a cultural thing that I'll have to localize, but I try to be thorough in these things as, again, I don't understand the language and rely on machine translation. I search up vinegar in English in jpdb and find the Japanese character there immediately. So it's obviously the same word, not a messy translation.
My next course of action is to look up "drinking vinegar japan".
To summarize, according to the articles/blog posts I read, the process of making vinegar is just adding an extra step to the process of making sake. After that, if it's to be drinking vinegar, it's blended with sweeteners such as honey or fruit.
It's an extremely old drink in Japan, and it's seen as a health drink there (along with, I assume, being pretty tasty). You should go read up on it yourself.
But in the western world, drinking vinegar is... Not a big thing. While I could leave it as is and just write a translators note explaining the drink, I decided that given that Ky is French and Japan has been exploded for ~100 years, it would be more lore accurate to have him drink something else. If it was Anji or Baiken, I would have left it.
Also, it's more enjoyable and easier to understand to make it ambiguously alcohol instead of requiring a 4 paragraph explanation.
So to localize, I removed mention of vinegar and made the joke into Ky drinking too much alcohol. The NPC's worries apply to alcohol as well as drinking vinegar (drinking it makes you soft, it affects your body poorly, drinking too much is Seen as bad for your health) so it made for the smoothest change.
As I write this, I'm debating whether to add a translators note between panels saying that the bottle reads 'vinegar'... It'll get people curious, at least!
Original translation of the comic below.
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askthefamous8 · 2 months ago
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Even if I haven't been very active lately, 9 years is still pretty significant- happy birthday to the blog!
So like Percy up there I'm gonna do so dome reflecting. This blog's where I've often done that for some reason, but here's the tl'dr for blog related stuff.
• I would like to keep drawing stuff but feeling generally unsure in myself, and I'm wondering if all the years of fandom harrassment have caught up with me • I have one big project in mind, I've been dipping my toe into what I'd need to do it. No spoilers but it was one of the first things I played around with this series, so do with that what you will • If I can keep myself drawing, I want to use more of the original source material since I'm struggling with original ideas. So stuff like redraws, hOpEfULlY even animatics, just like what originally got me so into trains yknow? Because that's fun and sparks joy. And that always goes down a treat with you guys so bonus • As always I appreciate you guys not coming after me for being so inconsistent
The rest of this is me doing what Percy's doing in the drawing and reflecting, as there is indeed much 2 think about. It's also a little sad and venty so, there's your warning there.
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Ok so obviously a busy year, we moved into our new house that we actually own, I spent most of the year planning our wedding, and then got married. Big stuff. Also! I came off antidepressants in the summer. I've been on them for...basically as long as this blog, 6 months after I started it I think. Which also means I'd been on antidepressants my entire adult life. Feels like a big deal and I guess I'm still adjusting.
Another big thing, but sad, is that my dog died about two weeks ago. If you follow me on twitter you'll have seen her but she did make an appearance here a few Halloweens ago
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I got her when she was 13 and had her 8 years after that. So that's been difficult. Unrelated to that (probably), but I just feel...really mediocre. And before you point out the obvious, this has been present even before I came off antidepressants. But yeah just... mediocrity. In myself as a person, how I look, what I draw, my whole life really (barring my marriage thankfully). What have I achieved? I'm 26, I'm not working, I don't feel well, my art isn't good (I don't think so anyway- like yeah it's technically fine I guess but it's not, and has never been, very stand-out or impressive). And lately art doesn't bring me the same joy it once did, and I'm wondering if all the years of harrassment from this fandom (mostly the twitter side, tumblr's been pretty good to me) has finally caught up with me and put me off the whole thing. Or worse, that I just don't have as much of an interest in it anymore. I don't think I'll ever be like "ok yep I'm officially done with this blog" because I'm so stubborn but idk. I want to make things and be creative, I want to make more train art, but it doesn't feel the same. I don't know what's wrong. What do you listen to? What you want vs what you feel? I still enjoy train stuff, I love going to Awdry Ex every year. It's been like this for awhile. It's not even like I have a strong feeling of what I'd rather be doing as far as careers go. And even if I did, oh yeah I'm sure my two degrees in animation will be very relevant in another field (sarcasm). I feel adrift. My sails are open but there is just no wind. Planning my wedding gave me something to do and work on and just, feel useful but now that that's over I feel lost again. Losing my dog, who had become the center of my life because of how vulnerable she had become, hasn't helped.
On the more creative side of things, I also don't really know what to do with this blog's story either. The show's ended as far as most people are concerned, and I kiiinda wrote myself into a corner because once Thomas turns 18 he's going to leave for university, and that sets off this whole arc with James but basically the problem is it involves characters leaving and for some reason that feels like a no-no here. Don't get me started on the timeline lol. But Thomas works on a railway on Sodor, that's how it has to be...right? I guess I'm sort of at a crossroads of, ok do I want this to be close to the source material, and thus easily digestible to newcombers? Or do I want to make it more and more my thing and distanced from the source material? I doubt there's many new people coming since the series ended. And even then, there's a lot more humanization artists around now than when I started, so it's not like I'm filling a niche anymore. Just to be clear it's fine and also good that there's more humanization artists, variety is good, I just don't feel as "needed" anymore (which is 100% in my head and not an actual role that belongs to me or something). I started this blog when I was 17, so my interests and what I relate to have changed obviously. The character designs certainly have. It's never followed a super rigid story plan, but the core of it has always been the central cast doing things on Sodor. I however have always had a scene/project/animatic/whatEver in mind for when this 'series' would '''officially''' ''''end''''. But then what comes after that? I've always tried to run this blog like they are Real People that You interact with. But in real life there is no ending to the story, there's always more stuff to come. You get married, and it's wonderful, and then life goes on. The credits never roll. So maybe that's what I'm having trouble coping with...the progression of time. Ah, my old nemesis. I've always had trouble with letting go of things. There's nothing to say that I couldn't still draw stuff after the series "ends". I guess any story after Thomas leaves could be like... a sequel series or a spin off or something. Spin-off of a spin-off. Famous 8 All Grown Up. Famous 8 Qurter Life Crisis. Who knows. I certainly don't.
I've also been really into an original project unrelated to this but those don't get as much attention and while I'd like to do something with it one day, I don't feel very confident in being able to make that happen right now. But you know... as far my as art not being super spectacular goes... I think my individual talent has always been is my ideas, like the writing side of things. And then brought to life with my art, which normally isn't anything to write home about but is good enough to convey the idea and be not-awful to look at, lifts both of them beyond what they were individually. Maybe that's what I should focus on. Maybe that's wishful thinking.
So....idk. Idk what I'm doing but I'm trying to be gentle on myself and just let myself continue to drift, to heal from this heavy loss, and then in the New Year I'll try and pick myself up. Then there will be no more big once-in-a-lifetime events coming up, no more just-moved-into-a-house-and-oh-no-there's-a-bunch-of-things-that-need-attention-NOW scenarios, and no more big holidays for awhile. I guess we'll see.
If you read all of this I am so sorry but also thank you for reading my ramblings. And thank you for being around, whether that's been for a few months or for several years, but especially if it's been several years
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