#so now we can just make less of it

[an-asuryampasya]

energetically modified cement sounds so fake.

essentially, it boils down to: the solution to drastically reducing the carbon emissions of the construction industry? shake the cement really hard with some balls.

and it reportedly works??

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

He was just being a silly little guy!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[thebramblewood]

Virtuous Vampires: Demetrius Troyer, Brandy Wood, Samantha Gratz

The good kind of goths, not the rip out your jugular vein kind of goths! Not only is drinking blood messy and immoral — it's just so passe.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[olasketches]

so because we have only three chapters left, I’ve decided that I’m going to wait for the official release instead of going through the leaks as I’ve been doing for… almost the past 2 years. I don’t want the leaks and the fandom discourse to ruin my last experience with jjk as a still ongoing manga… plus I thought it would be more fun and enjoyable this way... more special ig (I’m being so sappy ik) wish me luck guys!!

[wish-i-were-heather]

i cant have an argument without crying wtf

[reinedeslys-central]

more!! again!! for the nico after blood of olympus fic!! actually I thought of this while writing the last one but I just finished it.

His elbows buckle and he lets himself fall into Will, snorting at his theatrical groan under the weight. They lay there for a second until Will shoves him gently, and Nico lets him manoeuvre them into a more comfortable position.

"Hi," he whispers, moving a curl away from his cheek. The greenish tint of the loft window casts a weird shadow over Will's face.

"Hey yourself," Will murmurs back, winking.

Nico rolls his eyes. "You look like Apollo when you do that. Please stop." Will squawks in protest.

"I do not! Also, since when do you remember what Apollo looks like? Actually, no, don't answer that, you can't bring up my dad while we're in bed, Nico, why would you do this to me?"

Now it's Nico's turn to sputter and whack Will in the chest - getting another dramatic oof and a laugh in return - before turning around to face Hazel's bed. He's not sure when he'll ever be able to sleep facing the wall. Will can't do it either.

As Will's arms curl around his waist and draw him back against him, just like they did back in the infirmary that one day, he thinks maybe he'd be okay trying that with him sometime. One day, in a house with gates, no longer wary of monsters.

Will noses the back of his neck, causing him to twitch. "What is it?"

Will's answering smile presses through the rough cotton of his t-shirt. "Nothing, sunshine."

Nico frowns under the covers. "Hey, what do you think of houses with gates?" He whispers.

"Gates? Well, it'd be safer, I guess, but we'd lose the neighbours coming over -"

"As if you want to see random people at the door anyway. What if they're monsters?"

"Oh, come on, darlin', I'm from Austin. Of course I gotta keep space for the neighbours to come knocking."

"…Fences? Actually, hey, why'd you assume I was talking about us? Obviously - Obviously I was talking about random. Random houses. For architecture reasons."

Will muffles his laugh into the back of his neck, again. "Oh, my bad. And I'm only here because you ripped a stitch on the lava wall yesterday."

Nico feels his ears warm.

"Shut up."

"I didn't say anything."

"..Still."

Will reels him in closer until his back hits his chest and he can press a soft peck to Nico's still-red ears. "I think a fence is a great idea, by the way. We could ask Hazel for help with some ward stones too, like you have in the cabin. Gotta make sure we've got at least one window and standing space in every direction, though, or at least in the east, because you know my dad would sulk if he didn't get to scream me awake in the morning."

Nico's blush gets worse.

"Now who's talking about your dad in bed?" He gives up on pretending. Will sees him through every time, anyway. "Also, shrines, obviously, and we need a spot to stargaze."

"Yeah, shrines, obviously. Maybe just yours, mine, and Lady Hestia's though, or else everyone else is gonna get pissy."

Nico barks out a laugh like it's shocked out of him. "Pissy? Don't let them hear you say that."

Will holds him tighter and settles against the pillows. "Sure thing, sunshine. Now can we sleep?"

"Yeah, yeah."

It's not long after that that Will's breath evens out behind him, his muscles untensing. Nico knows he's got a few minutes yet, so he thinks.

Today was…. good.

Today was nice. Normal, even. Just a day of camp schedules, working in the infirmary, an admittedly short campfire, and this. No monsters, and no mistakes. No deaths, but..

Unbidden, the moments in the infirmary come to mind. He thinks of helping Will scrub in for his one surgery of the day, a kid that had gotten parts of an arrow stuck in their leg a week ago and hadn't noticed til yesterday. He thinks of yesterday during capture-the-flag, stepping in and desperately trying to copy what he'd watched Will do, because Lydia was hanging crooked from a tree and there was no one else around but him-

He thinks of Patroclus tying the straps of Achilles' armour, watching his lover sleep peacefully. He thinks of what Connor had told him about at the campfire weeks ago, of Silena Beauregard taking on a drakon when Clarisse declared the Ares Cabin wouldn't be fighting.

He thinks he might understand.

Lydia wasn't the same (thank the gods), but if there was something to be done that only Will could do right, yet couldn't, and the only way Nico could take up his mantle would be to die trying - then, yeah. He'd do whatever it would take for these kids. To do what Will would do. He's gone to Tartarus already, hasn't he? At worst, he'd try his best and greet his father early if he failed to survive. Nico could even give Charon a tip on the way in for the hell of it, why not?

If there is a luxury that comes from being a child of Hades, after all, it is that dying is not the thing that scares him.

There's a brazier still lit outside the window. Its glow falls in slits across their bed.

Will grumbles, pushing his feet forward until their ankles are wound together. The sheets shift.

Nico smiles into the dark, into the chirping of crickets and the soft glow of the fireflies out the window, and falls asleep.

more for this fic:

scene 0 - prologue-ish scene 1 - the library of social awkwardness or here (or in my heart, 'kidney function is not a right, it's a privilege' lol)

general writing directory

also lmk if you want more lore. I am so down to talk about this fic + the worldbuilding ideas I have for it in the notes it is unreal

[13eyond13]

love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world

[forseties]

some soppy henjasps

[mokeonn]

Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.

[skitskatdacat63]

2009 Brazilian Grand Prix - Jenson Button

[jabeur]

i'm saying this completely unironically but not letting sports dictate your mood is the best thing you can do for yourself if you tend to be deeply affected by sports results. like genuinely not kidding best thing i ever learned to do

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[ganondoodle]

(this went on to be a longer ramble, talking about shrines and the abilities in totk i had more thoughts about the overworld repetition but im putting this into a separate post)

something i havent seen anyone mention before is also that it is a problem that you can skip nearly any puzzle in the totk "temples", some of which just by climbing walls ... and that wasnt possible in botw bc the titans were made of the same material as the shrines and prevented you from climbing on them, which feels like they knew making them climable would reduce the amount of puzzle you had to do and make it even less impactful, surely there are some glitches or movement tech that can make it easier, but at least you had to think about it a little?

but i guess that went against their newly adopted "more freedom equals better" way of thinking .. but then ..

the thing that i find confusing is that the shrines interior in totk are once again, NOT climable, but similar sonau buildings in the overworld ARE climable, they even restrict how you can use the tech in shrines, so ... they arent actually against restrictions? but then dont restrict anything else? not even in the main dungeons?? its kinda inconsistent and conflicting (like everything else lmao)

and that kinda extends to the abilities too, both the ceiling jump and ultrahand make alot of puzzles obsolete bc theres always a way easier way to skip everything; i know they kidna based it around people doing crazy thigns in botw, but there it felt like you were actually kinda missusing the mechanic of stasis for example in a smart way, YOU came up with that and it felt rewarding creating your own solution to shrine puzzles bc there were multiple ways to do it in this engine (like isntead of aligning blocks to lead electritiy to one end to the other you put out your weapons and place them there instead, and it WORKS) it felt more non intended, even if they had thoguht about it, it still FELT like you just came up with that, and sometimes it really was the only way your mind worked with and everyone had their own way of thinking

while in totk, they kinda tried to encourage that way of thinking, but it doesnt feel like your own idea anymore really, and, while its not every single one, in alot of totk shrines .. or even overworld puzzles you were just .. literally given the puzzle pieces for you to put together, but the pieces were like .. in parts of 6 at most so putting together the picture was both obvious and also kinda boring, like you were treated like you are a 4 year old and they were giving you 4 piece puzzles over and over- and fine you CAN just glue the two fans together and stand on them to fly high enough to just glide over to the end instead of building the flying thing they gave you the pieces for BUT its still .. expected, like you dont feel like you are working on it your way but seeing what the devs obviously planned for and then knowingly circumventing it i dont think its good either that in combination with the ceiling jump you really can just skip almost anything, take out a fly thing and fly near the end to spam the jump until it works, instead of using the building blocks they gave you for the obvious solution you build some platform and just ceiling jump to it, theres a rocket here? fuse it to your shield and fly high enough to glide to the end, its both too easy and obvious for the intented way and then you can even entirely skip that too, and you dont even feel smart about it bc it doesnt feel like you came up with it on your own and instead feel like a child that is way too old for the toys its given and the adults giving them to you stare at you while they wait for you to solve the puzzle- and alot of the solutions were either build something with these three pieces or fight something with these pieces-

i still remember that one (or more?) botw shrines were it lead you to a button to press and once you stand on it the wall slides open and reveals some fun and unexpected challenge, over and over- there was a hallway you had to glide through but there were big moving spiky metal balls hanging from the ceiling, maybe one has a normal rope on it and you can shoot it down if you notice it but the others dont so what do you do, stasis them so you can avoid it in time, grab it with magnesis to make it swing harder and then hope for the best as you fly there or dont do anything of that and just jump in- the one were a spiked wall was chasing you and as you run more obstables are put in your way right before you get to it, you stand on a button and the wall opens greeting you with an immediate guardian laser to the face? it felt more creative and fun to me, tho granted i havent done all shrines in totk bc i grew too tired of the everything to play more

(at least thats how i felt like, like i was treated like i was stupid for alot of totk, not just in the shrines sometimes .. which were one of the more enjoyable things in it, but also in the story .. like you dont have to think at all to get everything before its said to your face over and over)

and that thing with the abilities and the tech also makes the world less like a world and more like a playground bc you can just skip to every point of interest, you dont have to walk or climb or fight your way anywhere really bc you can just go up and fly to whereever you want, the new weird ass towers only make it worse bc .. of course youd make use of them to get everywhere even quicker, its also kinda in the combat, they might give you the tools to be creative (with arguably very simple things .. like a wheel, a rocket a fan and flamethrower arent realyl that interesting to begin with) why would you build a laser firing tank maschine to fight some bokblins you can just .. clobber like you usually do way quicker and easier

i do like the abilities in botw more than in totk too, but its got multiple reasons, like the world felt built around it without putting it into your face all the time, and the shrines were more built around giving you fun challenges, or just .. a fun experience, with often more subtle puzzles and not always forcing you to make use of the shiekah stone runes, plus the totk abilities feel more like the same thing .. or less interesting? fuse and ultrahand really are one and the same thing but separated into two for .. some reason, the time reversal is like stasis but with less ways to apply and use it (and kinda clunky how everything freezes in place when you prime it), and both it and the ceiling jump are a skip button from one location to the next (even tho we already have the fast travel) so you dont even need to climb, like those weird towers in the underground i thoguht looked cool and interesting when i first saw them only to realize its just a way to get to the surface via ceiling jump and nothing more .. you could fast travel up with the same amount of loading time, and more often than not it wasnt even in an interesting spot or somewhere you couldnt get to otherwise; the autobuild too even lets you skip building!! the thing thats the supposedly focus! i know its annoying to build something for a long time with its clunky function but isnt it yet another skip button

... another random ramble, much more incoherent too, again i want to mention im not trying to hate on everything, jsut kinda communicate or ... spill out my thoughts and feelings; i do absolutely agree that ultrahand is a very impressive mechanic and i did have fun with all the abilities for a while ..... i still like botws more bc its more diverse and is more restricted (which i LIKE) while also having more ways to use them

[outlying-hyppocrate]

well. did you fucking miss me.