#so no keyboard we die like men

[heretolurkandnothingmore]

tag game time! 5 current favourite songs.

big thank you to 3 of my wonderful mutuals and treasured friends, (@cottonraincoat @willameena and @kingdomvel) for tagging me! you guys rock.

picking just five was a riddle and a half, so i elected to leave out the musicals and anything that's in russian. just let me know if you want the other (russian) list :D

i extend the invitation to @yourfavoritefridge, @piecesofeden11, @palfriendpatine66, @virahaus and @dreaminghour. have fun, dear ones)

now, in no particular order:

1. the oh hellos - soap. here representing the folk part of my playlist, filling in for the crane wives and of monsters and men. this song is a comfort. it's a midday drive on a long empty road with the windows open. it's dandelions breaking through the pavement in spring. basically, if you want a song telling you you're loved, look no further.

choice lyric: "all the things we've broken can be puzzled again and again."

2. mother mother - until it doesn't hurt. hello fellow shut-ins! did you just discover you haven't seen the light of day for three days? me too! and this song is just the thing to make us feel better about it. careful, side effects may include: feeling like you're in a kick-ass movie about revenge, getting goosebumps from the chorus, being inspired to write a new character. ok, that last one may just be me. but the song is still pretty good.

choice lyric: "i wanna fight, i wanna bite, i wanna swallow all the light"

3. the mountain goats - sax rohmer 1, here representing the lo-fi end of the spectrum. i have recommended tallahassee the album on this blog twice already, so today we're picking heretic pride. as a wise youtube comment once said, "the affection of no creature is left unrepresented in their songs" - this one is for those of us gritting their teeth through every day of all of this.

choice lyric: "all roads lead toward the same blocked intersection"

4. fall out boy - headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet. time for a little guilty pleasure! i was torn between this and the killers or panic at the disco. the battle has been won by this beautiful earworm. perfect fit for when you need the music to just wash over you and drown out the rest.

choice lyric: "i don't just want to be a footnote in someone else's happiness"

5. daughter - run. and the final one, here for all the other sad songs, having won over placebo, amigo the devil and florence of florence and the machine. i dare you to imagine your otp to this one - it's hard not to!)) good pick for those evenings when you need a singer to cry with you.

choice lyric: "i won't tell my mother, it's better she don't know. and he won't tell his folks, 'cause they're already ghosts"

[coff33andb00ks]

Until You - Part Four

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four charles leclerc x female pop singer!reader x oscar piastri x lando norris f1 smau with intermittent scenes Summary: they drive vroom vrooms, she sings soulful tunes. there's no way in hell this is gonna work, right? Warnings: language, author lied when she said lando was just there (i promise she's not getting anymore men omg), implied smut playlist a.n: the next part will have a q&a with y/n on insta/tiktok so if anyone has questions they'd like for her to answer please send them to my inbox (as basic or unhinged as you like)

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and others ynyln: SURPRISE!!! I present to you my new babies: Enchanted and Lover. Enjoy, my little lattes 💋❤️

↳user3: MY THOUGHTS WILL ECHO YOUR NAME            ↳ user4: omg these are what her and the driver guy were saying            ↳user5: DID SHE WRITE IT FOR OSCAR?!?!?! ↳oscarpiastri: Beautiful, love. 🧡            ↳ynyln: no you 🧡            ↳user4: omg ↳charles_leclerc: all's well that ends well to end up with you ❤️            ↳ynyln: I'll save you a seat, lover ❤️ ↳sabrinacarpenter: on repeat!!            ↳ynyln:❤️ ↳landonorris: love            ↳ynyln: thank you sweetie 🫶🏻 ↳user7: I'm here from f1, why does she call people little lattes?            ↳user8: welcome!! it's a term of endearment for her fans. y/n said in an interview that we give her comfort and a burst of energy, like a latte midafternoon, and it just stuck.

Lando nodded along with the beat. "It just needs a little something extra… You want to keep it acoustic?"

She nodded, sipping her tea. She looked astounded that he was there. He knew he was. When she'd texted him he hadn't expected he'd be on a flight to London within two hours. But here he was, sitting with her in her "little" basement studio, listening to her song for the fifth time, mouthing the lyrics she'd probably written with Charles or Oscar in mind. Charles and Oscar, who were upstairs sleeping soundly.

How I obsessively adore you That's what I do I believe, I believe, I could die in your kiss No, it doesn't get, doesn't get better than this

Oh to be obsessively adored by her.

"I'll do some piano, hang on." She leaned across him, invading his space with her gentle floral aroma and her soft hair and…

He sighed, staring at her in awe as she worked her magic at the keyboard. It was crazy that he was even here, in her private sanctum, witnessing what would undoubtedly be a hit as it was created.

"The piano's too prominent," he said, wanting to feel useful. "The guitar should be the main instrument."

Y/n nodded, and he reached to adjust levels, standing up and hitting play. She looked tense and tired and stressed and he instinctively moved to stand behind her, hesitating.

"Ok to touch you?" he asked.

She tilted her head to look at him. "Yeah of course."

He rested his hands on her shoulders, rubbing gently as the song played. "It's a good song, y/n."

"You think so?" she asked in a small voice.

"It's a love song. Hopeful and adoring. It's beautiful. Charles is a lucky guy."

She hummed, relaxing under his gentle touch. "What's he got to do with it?"

Oh. "I uh… Osc then."

She turned her head to look up at him. "It's not for him."

Oh. Oh. "Someone else?" Christ how many boyfriends did she have--

"You don't remember? You float across the room. It's what you said to me at the club after the race in--"

"Monaco," he whispered.

"It stuck with me. So did the kiss," she murmured.

He swallowed, continuing to rub her shoulders. "You didn't... When I sent you those videos I didn't know about Osc and Charles."

Y/n turned and his hands dropped. "What do they have to do with it?"

A nervous laugh rose in his throat. "You're dating them? Both of them, which is insane to me but like I get it. You're like a mouse on crack, you probably need two boyfriends to keep you from taking off—"

She laughed. "A mouse on crack? Really?"

Sighing as she stood up, he looked down at her. "I just… Don't want to mess up what the three of you have going on."

"They don't own me, Lando. I'm a grown woman, I can do what I want with my body whenever I want. With whoever I want."

Lando blinked, his mind short-circuiting over the mental image that put into his head. Swallowing hard, he drew in a breath as she stretched. And held it, staring at her while she fiddled with controls and restarted the song. Let it out slow when he saw the tension returning to her shoulders.

He was reaching for her before he even registered the movement.

"C'mere," he murmured, pulling her to him. Reaching behind her, he switched off the song. "You're gonna drive yourself crazy, love."

"It's right there, Lando, I just need to push a little harder," she groaned, holding her head in her hands and letting him draw her closer.

"Hey, hey, shh…" It felt natural to kiss the top of her head, to wrap his arms around her and try to calm her. "I'm not gonna let you go insane over a song. It's fine, I know you'll come up with something amazing. Just give it time."

"It's not just a song," she whined. "I'm absolutely shit at talking about my feelings for someone, you know? Especially when it…"

"Might go up in flames?" he whispered.

Her hands were on his chest, her head tilting up. "Did you have any idea what you were doing when you stole my number and texted me?"

"Honestly thought I was shooting my shot and hoping I'd get lucky," he muttered, grinning when she laughed.

"It worked."

"Huh?" Lando grunted in surprise.

"Got me thirsty. The past couple weeks have been crazy, trying to fight it, but god, Lando." She sighed as though to ease the tension but it was still there, her body still taut with stress and worry. "I honestly thought you came tonight to fuck me."

His mind bounced like a padel ball in an intense match. He wanted to comfort her, to get her to relax, to ease her worries about the song. But oh how he wanted to kiss her again. He could just remember their half-drunken kiss in Monaco, the electricity thrumming through him, his heartbeat matching the thumping bass of the music. Thought you came tonight to fuck me.

He blinked, his mind going back to a quiet moment before the race in Montreal, when Oscar had been telling him about the unconventional relationship he'd found himself in.

"We're just taking it day by day. But she has a lot of love to give, mate. Sounds crazy, but… I don't think one person could handle it all."

Was there even room for him? Was he honestly considering entangling himself in what would, probably, end up being a PR nightmare for the four of them?

Why was he even thinking of love when he'd originally just wanted to be able to say he'd fucked the richest woman in the world?

"I…"

He leaned down, one hand rising to cup the side of her head. It was supposed to be gentle, sweet, the type of kiss that deserved the song she was working on, but it was harsh, deep and demanding, and he was swallowing her moans. Her nails lightly scraped his neck then they were sliding over his scalp and he whimpered.

"I didn't," he gasped between kisses, growing needier with each taste of her, each moan that fell past her lips. She tasted of tea and chocolate. "I didn't come here to fuck you."

"I know," she moaned. She leaned into him and he felt the need, the flames licking at both of them.

"That's new," Oscar commented, chin resting on her shoulder while she poured herself a coffee. His fingers brushed the side of her neck.

Y/n felt her cheeks warm at the delicate touch, sparking the very recent memory of Lando's mouth on her. "Yeah…"

"Did you get any sleep?" he asked, kissing the mark, his arms snaking around her waist.

"Maybe an hour," she mumbled. After breaking the chair in her studio with Lando, she'd had a burst of inspiration, and the sun had been coming up when they'd listened to the finalized track.

"Love," he sighed, taking the coffee from her before she could take a sip.

"Babe," she whined, her mind snapping to the present, though part lingered on the memory of the twisted sheets of the guest room, of Lando's panting moans in her ear.

"I'll fix you something to eat, then you're going back to bed." He kissed the top of her head and moved away, drinking her coffee.

"I've got to—"

"You don't have anything scheduled for the day. Or tomorrow. So it's rest. No recording, no caffeine, rest." Oscar looked at her over his shoulder. "Stop pouting."

"I just wanted to spend the day with my boyfriends," she sighed, climbing onto the stool at the island counter. Wrinkling her nose when he poured a glass of orange juice and set it in front of her, she reluctantly took a sip.

"We can spend the day here. Peace and quiet, love."

She felt herself melt at his gentle words. Peace and quiet and them. For the whole day. She'd only had snatches of time with them since leaving Monaco. She'd had a concert the day of the Canadian grand prix, and now it felt like some sort of cosmic kismet that her mini break coincided with theirs. They couldn't be together for the whole time, but she would cherish the days she could have.

"Bonjour, mon couer, bonjour koala," Charles greeted as he entered the kitchen, rubbing his eyes.

Y/n saw Oscar's cheeks tinge pink at the affectionate nickname Charles had started using for him. She sipped her orange juice, looking on as Charles brushed by Oscar, his hand resting briefly on the small of his back, and heard the whispered word. Rousseur. Freckle.

God, she loved them. Oscar's freckles, Charles's nicknames, and them.

"Good morning," she murmured after he kissed her.

"You didn't tell me we would have a guest, mon couer," he murmured, moving to fix himself coffee.

Oscar turned from the cooktop. "Guest?"

"Oh. Yeah." Y/n rubbed her neck. "Lando flew in last night. Late."

"He's snoring in the guest room." Charles was chuckling. "Leo went to bother him."

"I texted him. About the song. I needed input, and you were both asleep and—"

"Lando came to help you?" Oscar's smile was soft.

"He did."

Oscar tipped his head, regarding her much like a cat watching a bird through the window. "Ah."

"Ah, what?" Charles asked, rubbing his eyes while he sipped his coffee. Lowering his hand, he looked at y/n, snorting into his cup. "Ah."

She groaned, slumping down onto the counter. "Is it that obvious?"

"Love, you're glowing." Oscar grinned and turned back to the eggs.

"I've been glowing since Monaco," she muttered against the countertop. Slowly, she lifted herself, eyes darting from Charles to Oscar and back again. "You're okay with it?"

"I already told you, mon couer. I don't mind sharing you." Charles's smile was affectionate. "As long as you're safe and he treats you well."

"He's one of my best mates, y/n. Not to mention he's been obsessed with you for ages," Oscar quipped, sliding a plate of eggs and toast in front of her.

"He's not obsessed," she snorted.

"Did he fly commercial or private?" Oscar asked, leaning against the counter.

Y/n sighed, taking a bite of the eggs. "Private," she mumbled.

"Day by day, love," Oscar said gently, leaning to kiss her forehead.

Liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, landonorris, and others ynyln: rough night in the studio until this one came to lend a hand. magic: made. forever grateful, sweet Lando. Let's just enjoy the view tagged: landonorris ↳landonorris: thank you for giving me a chance. soz about the chair            ↳ynyln: chairs can be replaced. and you'll always have a chance while I'm around            ↳user4: aww wait what did he do to the chair??? ↳user3: lando was streaming with quadrant until 1am monaco time            ↳ user4: god did he fly out to help her? my heart            ↳user5: wait that's really sweet 🥺 ↳oscarpiastri: will you rest now?            ↳ynyln: yes darling            ↳user6: aww ↳charles_leclerc: I adore the new song, mon couer            ↳ynyln: it sounds better when you sing it ↳user7: omg did she collect another one            ↳user8: omg stooopppp 😂😂😂

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[ghost-proofbaby]

fictional boyfriends (e.m.)

summary: eddie gets jealous of your newest fictional boyfriend from a game he got you into.

warnings: kinda sweet. kinda cringe. eddie is jealous of astarion. twilight reference jumpscare. not edited. biting and vague mentions of sex at the end.

wc: 2.5k+

a/n: this is the dumbest, cringiest thing i have ever written. but on this side of town, we embrace the cringe <3 happy valentine's day, enjoy me combining my current favorite fictional men (astarion and eddie) for my own personal delight. maybe one day i'll write a serious fic regarding the biting kink

It’s not that biting had ever been off the table with Eddie, per se.

Nips between kisses, using a little more teeth when he’d kiss across your neck, a joking sinking of your teeth into his shoulder when you were vying for his attention — they were all normal occurrences between the two of you. There was just never much discussion about it. No conversation explicitly had in which the two of you said, “Why, yes. This is something I’d like to bring into the bedroom.” 

Until that damn game.

When Eddie introduced you to Baldur’s Gate 3, the last thing he expected was to watch all your free time you used to spend pestering him suddenly handed over to some fictional vampire. He thought it’d be a game you tried, grew tired of, lost interest in, and that was that. Nothing more, nothing less. He didn’t expect a sudden competition for your goddamn affections. 

“Baby, please come to bed,” he all but whines as he drapes himself over your shoulders, trying to nudge off your headphones. He could feel just how warm your ears had grown beneath them. He swears he can feel your back crack from the slightest bit of his weight on your shoulders. And, sue him — he was tired and he wanted to cuddle. 

“One more minute,” you mumble the same phrase to him that he has used a million times on you; he instantly knows it’ll be far more than just sixty more seconds if he agrees, “Let me just finish this-“

“No,” he’s still whining, but it’s more stern now as he properly removes your headset, earning a glare from your bloodshot eyes, “You’ve been playing this game all afternoon, sweetheart. I think I might die if you don’t offer me some immediate attention. Truly.”

For emphasis, he lays more of his body weight on you, your chair creaking from holding up both of you now. 

“Eddie,” you moan out, wiggling beneath his dead-weight, “I swear to God, get off of me-“

“I’ll get off of you if you come to bed.”

You pause. Your hands hover near your keyboard and mouse, but you’re no longer walking your avatar across the world of Baldur’s Gate, and he knows he has you considering it.

More weight. More groans. At this rate, he’s questioning if your chair won’t break from his outrageous method to get your attention. 

“Fine.” 

The small yes he lets out only earns him a punch to the shoulder. But it gets you off the game, and that’s still a win for him.

He doesn’t even care about appearing over eager as you follow him back to the bedroom. He’s gone as far as preparing the bed, pillows fluffed and comforted pulled back while awaiting your arrival. He’s already washed his face and brushed his teeth (something he usually fights you on as you nag him before bed), and the moment he’s got you in the room with him, he’s dragging you right onto the mattress with him.

“You’re gonna hurt us!” you yelp as he wraps his arms around you and flops down, dragging you with him, but it’s through a laugh. He knows you really couldn’t care less — he’d never deliberately injure you, irritated about your newest fictional boyfriend or not. 

“Oh, no,” he mocks, rolling so you’re laying on top of him, “What ever will you do if I injure one of your precious wrists, and you can’t use it to flirt with your new boy toy tomorrow?” 

“Astarion would be devastated,” you giggle into his chest, not moving off of him despite all your protests. It’s nice — to feel the full weight of you, to just get to bury his nose in the crown of your head as he shamelessly inhales the sweet lingering scent of your coconut shampoo, “He’s even needier than you.” 

“Yeah, ‘cause you serve as his functional juice box.”

“I do not!” you wiggle against him, and it only makes him tighten his arms, “He’s needy because he loves me.”

“Well that makes one of us.” 

Your head lifts off his chest in an instant, faux offense shadowing your features, “You tryin’ to say you don’t love me, Munson?”

He smirks, pressing his lips together tightly, making you huff in frustration. 

Of course he loves you. There wouldn’t be a ring in his sock drawer that he’s terrified of you finding if he didn’t. 

You pout, subtly and adorably so, starting to lift off of him, “If you’re going to be mean, I’m just going to go back to someone who appreciates me-“

“Mean?” he scoffs, enjoying himself far too much. He’s missed your attention, your affection. The effect it has on him is similar to a high, making him dizzy on serotonin as he rolls over and pins you between him and the mattress, “Oh, baby, that’s not me being mean. I can show you mean, if you want.” 

He’s always thought you looked prettiest like this. Under him, eyes wide as you look up at him as if he’s the only thing in this room worth looking at. Worth more than your prized bookshelf, more interesting than all the various posters the two of you have hung on the walls. You look at him as though he’s the greatest thing to exist in these four walls, and he doesn’t take it lightly when your favorite albums and candles are right there.

“You don’t have a mean bone in your body, Munson,” you whisper softly, face going soft for him. The two of you are still surely joking around, the playfulness of it all thick in the air, but there’s something genuine in your words that makes him even more enamored with you. 

He should have predicted you’d fall for Astarion when he showed you the game. You had a thing for people who put up the tough front, but who really just needed a little extra softness and patience under the surface. He was living proof of it.

Unlike your fictional vampire boyfriend. 

“Yeah?” he taunts, leaning down until the tip of his nose brushes yours. His hair works like a curtain, messy as ever as he shields the two of you from the outside world. One of your hands have crept up so that you palm rests against his cheek, and he can hardly remember that flare of jealousy that had gnawed at him when you’d spent your entire afternoon absorbed in the game instead of him, “I bet I could be meaner than Astarion. Although, I’m not sure just how mean that man has ever been to you, given all the war crimes you commit for his approval-“

He’s cut off when the thumb of the hand cradling his face trails up, pressing on his bottom lip. It only makes him grow even closer to you, pressing in, drawn by your touch.

You squint your eyes at him jokingly before cooing, “Someone sounds jealous.”

“Damn right,” he doesn’t even try to deny it, caught in the web of your trap with ease, “Does your pixelated lover even know what a catch he’s got?” 

You snort adorably at that. He pulls away to see the full force of your laughter, lifting up into his elbows to admire how your face scrunches with your smile. He bets Astarion would make some sarcastic comment about it — about the crinkles by your eyes that he aches to pepper with kisses, about the indents in your cheeks when you smile this wide, about the sound of your genuine laughter when you unrestrained and entirely comfortable like this. But there’s not a single joke forming on Eddie’s tongue. He’s all but hypnotized. 

God, he fucking loves you. So much so he’s jealous of a video game character.

“I’m not sure I’d consider this,” you lift the hand not holding him carefully still to motion at your current state of being, “A catch, my love.” 

He has to disagree. Messy hair or not, wrinkled pajamas or not.  You’re the greatest catch of this entire existence; not just Eddie’s, but the Universe’s. Nothing you could say or point out would deter him from this belief. He loves you, mess and all.

“My love?” he chooses to tease instead, all the words of affection threatening to choke him if he so much as considers letting them pour out, “I like the sound of that. If that’s the Astarion effect, maybe he isn’t so bad after all.”  

His elbows are sinking deeper into the mattress. With every passing second, his face is dropping closer to yours, and he’s not sure if it’s by instinct or choice. But when his lips finally brush yours, he decides it’s all the same — it doesn’t really matter what sort of gravity is at work here, as long as it keeps bringing him down closer to you.

“Shut up about the game and kiss me, Eddie.” 

He doesn’t have to be told twice.

The kiss is as sweet as ever. A comfortable dance that still sends shivers down his spine. If either of you looked closer at his arms bracketing your shoulders, you’d see the goosebumps raising as you eagerly returned all his affection.

You taste like the chocolates you’d been snacking on during your gaming. You taste like the greatest gift ever given, and he doesn’t care if he’s exaggerating or not. You’re divine — his favorite good morning and his only goodnight. 

And he’d say all that, but you’d probably accuse him of trying too hard to be like Astarion. Probably bring up that ridiculous line the character once said about you being made by the Gods, just to ruin him.

You were, though. Made by the Gods, specifically to ruin Eddie. Fuck the game. 

“You know,” he whispers against your lips, breaking for air as he adjusts positions. Your thighs open up and welcome him home, letting him slot right between your legs comfortably. He’s not trying to seduce you, but he can’t even be mad about it. He feels like a starved man now that your attention has been divided as of late, “If you wanted a lover who bites, all you had to do was ask, darling.” 

If you weren’t so wrapped up in the kisses he was pressing down your jaw and along your neck, you would have ripped him to shreds for the awful impersonation. 

But you’re already far gone, lost in his touches and his adorations. You let the half-assed attempt at a British accent slide, and you even bare your neck to him at the minute threat. 

Biting had never been off the table, per se, and Eddie was really fucking glad for it.

When he presses one, two, three greedy kisses to that sweet spot just below your ear, he has one intention in mind. Not his usual sucking and nipping and soothing, not leaving behind one of his ordinary love bites. No, he lets himself get caught up in the moment, and when he catches that quiver of excitement the moment he drags his teeth over your neck carefully, he’s fully committed to his decision.

He bites.

Not hard enough to draw blood, or even be terribly painful. He knows it’s nothing like the game or any of your subsequent fantasies you might have had from it. His canines are fairly dull, even as they dig carefully into the skin of your neck, holding for a moment for effect. But your legs tighten around his hips, and he almost wishes he was a damn vampire, able to actually pierce your skin in the moment. Drink your blood. Whatever the allure was with the origin companion.

You let out a soft gasp which has him keeping your skin between his teeth a few extra seconds, and then he’s letting go. Lifting his head and looking into your eyes, a silent exchange of is this okay?

If the glazed over look is anything to go off of, it’s more than okay.

He returns with reckless abandon, switching between his usual desperate kisses and the newer, sharper ones. He has one goal in mind: to mark you up as his, to the point in which you’ll be scolding him in the morning. It’s like a drug, to feel you writhe beneath him as he paints the picture. 

Love notes of freshly born bruises, the imprints of his teeth – a letter across your delicate skin that reads, he was here, and he loved you, more than anyone else in this Universe may ever be capable of. 

“If I had known how much biting would rile you up, I would’ve started doing it ages ago,” he mumbles into the crook of your neck, finally pausing his assault. 

He settles for softer presses of his lip, peppering the affection where he had been a bit more violent. 

Your hands that had taken to tangling into the curls at the nape of his neck have gone more relaxed, no longer tugging but instead just lingering. Pulling him closer. Touching him with softer hands than he’s ever felt deserving of. 

“Guess you’ve got a certain vampire to thank for that,” you tease, but he can hear just how breathless he’s left you. He had sworn he could feel the pulse of your facing heart beneath his lips, even if just for a moment. Even if he just imagined it. 

“Please. Astarion is not getting the credit for that,” he scoffs, lifting up onto his elbows again to just look at you. His lover, his favorite person. It’s nice to see your face when it’s not washed over with the cast of a computer screen. “That was all me. And even if it wasn’t, I won’t forget that you had a Twilight phase.” 

Your hand quickly drops between the two of you, only to smack at his chest. The thump holds no weight as you whine, “I told you that in confidence.” 

He dips down, capturing one last kiss, “It’s okay, baby. It’s good to know that you have a type.”

“I do not-”

He cuts you off with a more playful bite to your neck. Less about marking you, and more just to make a point. 

“Just,” another nip, “admit,” another graze of his teeth, “it.” 

You’re fighting a smile when he looks down at you again, impossible to hide behind your mask of annoyance. “I am not admitting that I have a thing for broody, pathetic vampires.” 

“Well, I’ve got broody and pathetic down-”

“Eddie,” your thighs still bracket him, one hand still clinging to the back of his neck. When you say his name, the game is over. “We can spend all night bickering over the fictional men I love, or you can give me a reason to forget their names. It’s up to you.” 

His eyebrows jump up his forehead, and he’s just about to give up the bit, but not before one last snide remark.

“Kind of hard to do that when I share a name with one of them, but as you wish, sweetheart.” 

Another bout of beautiful laughter from him. Another smack on the chest from you. It’s good – it’s everything Eddie has ever wanted, and it is good.

He does, of course, make you forget their names. And if you find it difficult to get out of bed the next moment, dramatically unable to make the walk to your gaming computer, well – he won’t try to hide his smug smile in between the soft rays of morning light.

eddie's taglist: @capricornrisingsstuff @thisisktrying @hideoutside @vol2eddie @corrcdedcoffin @ches-86 @alovesongtheywrote @its-not-rain @feralchaospixie @cheesypuffkins87 @thebook-hobbit @babez-a-licious @eddies-acousticguitar @aysheashea @kellsck @cosmorant @billyhvrgrove-main @micheledawn1975 @eddiesxangel @siriuslysmoking @witchwolflea @tlclick73 @magicalchocolatecheesecake @mizzfizz @nanaminswhore @mikiepeach @ali-r3n @hawkebuckley @alwaysbeenfamous @darkyuffie-blog @vintagehellfire @lilmisssiren @elvendria @loveryanax @stylexrepp @princessstolas @fangirling-4-ever @eddiesguitarskills @babez-a-licious @josephquinnsfreckles

join my taglist!

[venomhoundfanworks]

Hazbin Hotel - Alastor Scenario Dump

One of my friends requested I make more of these, so I guess I'm doing a series. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Like before these are just a bunch of story ideas I've had pop into my head that I have no plans to use. Feel free to use them, just link back/credit me and slap me with a tag because I wanna see what you write!! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Contents/WARNINGS: ANGST; stalking; abuse of Alastor's shadows; heavily implied voyeurism and other creepy shit; (most of these warnings are for the last prompt so if your bothered by any of this, just skip that one) Actual brainrot below the cut; Not beta read we die like men -ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Ringing Hollow ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

Basic idea is that Alastor ends up caving to Charlie/the hotel and getting a cellphone. Everyone insists he needs it in case there is an "emergency", especially after the whole Exterminator attack on the hotel.

So he relents. As much as Alastor hates to admit it; they are right. But he isnt going to get any of that smartphone crap. Alastor opts to get himself an actual flipphone. (Angel Dust questions how Alastor even managed to find the piece of junk) Its only for emergencies. He should barely be using it, if at all.

But things change one day when Alastor gets several messages from an unknown number thinking he is their close friend. Alastor does end up telling them that they have the wrong number, but you know, being Alastor, he has to tease them relentlessly first.

They actually end up talking for a bit. Both of them find the situation incredibly entertaining and surprisingly like each other's sense of humor. The reader ends up asking who they actually texted. Alastor panics a bit. He doesn't want to just tell some stranger that they just messaged the radio demon of all people.

No matter the case, Alastor doesn't want to give his real name. So he wracks his brain for something that wont give him away. He cant just use Al, that's too obvious. Wait... Alastor-Al-A...A... A-nonymous? Anon? Yeah. Anon could work.

(This is Alastor's own line of thinking of how he 'came up' with the name. The boomer has no idea this is actually a common internet pseudonym because I doubt he has ever touched a computer)

Anyway, Alastor ends up telling the reader to call him Anon. The two of them end up talking alot. The rest of the hotel finds it rather comical to see the radio demon on his phone texting someone with a grin on his face.

Alastor actually gets pretty fast at texting with his stupid flipphone. Eventually, under Angel's suggestion, Alastor does end up "upgrading" to one of those phones with the slide out keyboard. He still draws the line at smartphone.

But everyone finds the whole thing rather adorable. Charlie always giggles to Vaggie about how soft his eyes get whenever he sees a new text from the reader. Rosie teases him nonstop about his 'paramour' and ends up suggesting that Alastor try to meet them in person.

At the first thought of it, Alastor's stomach drops. He still hasn't actually told them who he is. But the more he thinks about it, the more Alastor thinks a meeting between them is inevitable. He has never felt this way about anyone before; and he needs to deal with it one way or another.

So Alastor arranges an in person meetup. However, he STILL doesn't actually tell the reader who he is. He plans it as a surprise. The purpose of this is twofold; Alastor thinks this will be a wonderful surprise (he is the fantastic radio demon after all!), and it will serve as a test to see if the reader actually likes him.

The secret third reason is that Alastor is actually scared of what the reader's reaction will be and is avoiding it until the ninth hour when he literally cannot anymore. But he would rather die then admit that.

The reader asks Alastor what he looks like and other, you know, obvious things they should know for when they meet. But Al dodges the questions and tells them that they will know everything and learn who he truly is when they finally meet.

Well the time comes. The reader shows up to the designated meeting place, a semi public location. Then they see him. The Radio Demon.

The reader's eyes meet his and they freeze in terror as he approaches them with a knowing, determined stride. They are mortified when Alastor kisses them on the back of the hand; calling them darling and confessing that he was the one who they had been talking to all along. 

The reader backs off, stuttering an apology and a half hearted excuse to leave before quickly running off. Alastor’s smile never wavers. But it can be seen in his eyes and the way his ears have flattened against his head that he had hoped for a better reaction.

Alastor makes his leave before he can embarrass himself further. When he goes to text an apology, his number has already been blocked. He swears he feels a foreign pain in his chest in that moment.

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Mockingbird ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

Alastor begins fall in love with the reader. Driven by his strange feelings, he starts to compose little songs that he hums/sings to himself. The songs are inspired by the things he likes about them, things that make him think of the reader, and ways he sees their presence improving the hotel. 

There is even a special one dedicated specifically to their laughter. A tune that he made to resemble how melodic he finds it. 

Charlie and Vaggie start to notice Alastor singing to himself all the time. How his eyes soften and his smile turns wistful as he sings. Its how they realize that, holy shit, the guy has fallen in love.

They think that the songs are how Alastor is choosing to ‘deal’ with his feelings and that he is using them as an outlet. Not realizing he is composing them himself.

So other then like the weird love singing to himself there really aren't signs of Alastor having a crush, especially not one on you. So it kinda becomes like this big mystery that Charlie is determined to solve. Charlie holds a 'top secret meeting' and drags the rest of the hotel into it. Who has Alastor fallen for?? She will find out dangit.

I also have the image of at least one of the songs being composed entirely in French. So like Alastor finds the reader asleep at some point, maybe they fell asleep on him or they fell asleep somewhere out of exhaustion, but either way, Alastor ends up singing the song he composed for them while they sleep.

Alastor gently picks you up and cradles you to his chest. Singing all the while. He takes you to your room and tucks you in, singing the song as if it were a lullaby. The reader half wakes up at some point and hears him, but cant understand the words.

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Chasing Shadows ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

Basically a really sweet girl checks into the hotel. Maybe she just has that southern belle vibe or reminds Alastor of his mama or whatever; but the point is he has an immediate soft spot for her. 

Anyway Alastor quickly picks up how guarded and almost paranoid she is. Her eyes always seem to be darting around or looking into the distance for something. Although she is quick to help others, she dashes anyone elses attempts to help her. Alastor finds it very odd.

Then Alastor’s shadows start reporting of ‘incidents’ happening around the hotel, mostly around the new guest. Her things going missing, gifts and letters being left outside her door if not outright in her room, and the one that pissed Alastor off the most was one of the shadows saying they even found a small camera had been placed in her room.

Alastor isnt stupid; he knows someone is stalking the poor girl. And he is seething. Part of it is anger and outrage at someone daring and succeeding at breaching his territory of the hotel, and the other half of his anger is at such a disgusting creature thinking that they are entitled to treat a woman this way. 

Alastor quickly puts more shadows around the new guest's room, having every entrance and exit watched for the intruder. Yet the stalker manages to slip by him again, leaving a bouquet of flowers as well as stealing a pair of undergarments. 

Alastor nearly kills the poor shadow that informs him of this. How could they let someone slip past them again??

You got the gist of how this story goes. Ive had this sitting in my ideas folder forever cause I love it alot but, realistically speaking, Im not going to write it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ So either someone else can use it or you can just brainrot about it with me.

The big twist is the demon that is stalking the new guest has the power to turn into/manipulate cockroaches. That's how they are able to traverse the hotel so easily and undetected. 

Wasn't sure if I wanted to go all in on that and make him an actual roach boy or not. You could also make the demon a Jewel Wasp which is a bug known specifically for mind controlling cockroaches.

Since the stalker is cockroach themed, I also had the idea floating around that Niffty would be the one to finally catch them in the end.

I was picturing the relationship between the new guest and Alastor to be strictly platonic; with like big brother/dad protection vibes. Basically Alastor just wants to protect someone who he sees as a ‘lady’ from a disgusting man. Its his southern trauma kicking in hard

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LINKS AND FURTHER READING ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

My Masterlist for my Other Work: >>HERE<<

AO3 Archive Link: >>HERE<<

[lazycats-stuff]

Hii, can I request dc x teen male reader? They’re partly part of the batfam, he’s Batman’s second youngest son. And he tags along with Batman to a mission with Superman and Wonder Woman, and guess what, they brought their kids too? I mean not like the already existing kids of them, like they’re original characters? Imagine them just not liking eachother at first but they just become best friends during the mission when they almost die and just laugh it off. They are literally just like Batman and Superman and Wonder Woman trio.

Yup yup, you sure can. I feel like the OG trio would freak out at the similarity. I think I kind of strayed off, but I kind off got hit with inspiration, so I hope you don't mind.

Summary: Kids of Superman, Wonder Woman and Batman don't like each other. After a near death experience, they become friends.

Warnings: explosions, cursing, tension between teammates, they like each other after near death experience, injuries, OG trio is worried, OC kids, except for Batman.

(Y/N) knew that missions with kids his age was going to be a normal thing. He knew it and there wasn't anything he could have done. But to go with Althea Prince and James Kent? There was no such thing that would make Bruce drag him on a mission with them.

The trio hated each other. (Y/N) didn't like how Althea thought that men were beneath her and James is too soft for (Y/N)'s liking. That boy is a personification of a golden retriever and his father was no better too.

Althea and (Y/N) had way more problems than (Y/N) and James had. While James was somewhat okay with the no kill rule, Althea found the rule ridiculous and thought that the evil should be eradicated. No matter what.

That grinded (Y/N)'s gears and it made him want to bash her face against any type of hard surface, but he couldn't. He would be grounded and she wasn't worth it. At all.

But this mission was a test for them. This was going to be their first solo mission without the supervision of their parents. It was just a covert one and intel collecting. Get in and get out.

And that's why they were siting in Justice League HQ, in a dull meeting room. Batman was presenting something that (Y/N) already knew. He has heard it before they left.

" Now, (V/N) will take the lead on this, since it's covert and intel gathering. I don't want to hear any arguments about this. " Batman said, knowing that the trio was going to argue about it.

But lets be honest, if there was anybody who knew how to be stealthy and quiet, it was (Y/N). Well, (V/N) in this case. (Y/N) forced himself to suppress a smile from blooming on his face.

Take that you two. He glanced at the two of them and Althea frowned a bit and James just rolled his eyes. Oh you two sacks of shit.

" Now, (V/N), would you like to take over? " Batman asked, well, demanded. (V/N) nodded and stood up from his chair. Bruce moved over and (Y/N) stood in his place. It felt weird, but you know, it made him feel powerful.

" Right. Like my father said, this is a covert and intel gathering. Which means it's get in and get out quietly. This is a base on a remote island in the Pacific ocean. We have reasons to believe that that's where Vandal the Savage and Deathstroke may have stashed their weapons, however, that is not our primary cause. It's intel that it's kept there. We will probably encounter Deathstroke or Lady Shiva, since those two started working together. " (Y/N) said, pressing a few buttons on the screen keyboard.

" This is how it's supposed to look. It's a pretty classical look for a base, but the security system is very tight and nearly impossible to hack into. However, I saw a small portion of the system and I know that I can hack into it. Now, the problem would be Deathstroke. If you see him, call me through the comms. Don't try to fight him, because he will win. " (Y/N) said and he nearly wanted to smack Althea for rolling her eyes.

" And also, he has experience fighting meta humans, like Wonder Woman and Superman. " (Y/N) said, glancing at the said duo, who nodded in agreement.

" (V/N) is right, he is not to be underestimated. " Wonder Woman said.

Batman stayed quiet, watching as (Y/N) dealt with the two. (Y/N) was growing into a brave and a mature person. And his hero side was no different. He knew that the trio didn't like each other and that was just normal and in life you are going to work with shitheads, as Jason would so kindly put it. And you would have to know how to deal with them.

Again, it's just life.

And Bruce could tell that (Y/N) was dealing with them well. Sure, his way was sarcastic and sometimes it could get ugly, but it was funny and sometimes it was outright murder worthy.

But Bruce loved him none the less.

" We are going first thing tomorrow evening, believe it or not. And that would be it. " (V/N) said and the other two left the room with their parents. Bruce and (Y/N) stayed back and (Y/N) looked at his father.

" You did good. You stayed professional and I could tell you wanted to smack Althea, but you controlled yourself. "

(Y/N) smiled, happy to hear this from Bruce. It wasn't like he never praised his sons, quite the opposite, but when he did, you know that he meant it.

" Lets go back home. Your brothers would like to spend time with you before you go on the mission. " Bruce said and the father son duo left the room, moving to the Zeta tubes.

" I know, but I just want to sleep. I had a tiring day at school. " (Y/N) admitted as they started the teleporting. Once they got into the cave, they both took their cowls off.

(Y/N)'s hair was going in all of different directions and Bruce ruffled his hair even more with a quiet chuckle. (Y/N) whined, trying to push Bruce's hand away.

" You kids grow up so fast. " Bruce admitted to (Y/N) and gave him a quick hug.

" You say that every year. " (Y/N) retorted, chuckling. It was true though. He said it every year when they did good in something.

" Am I wrong though? I would suggest you go up now. Jason called me and told me that if you aren't up in about 20 minutes he will come to get you himself. And you have about 5 minutes to get up there or he will kidnap you. " Bruce warned and (Y/N) ran into the locker room.

Jason would absolutely make that threat a promise and (Y/N) didn't want to fight with any of them. Bruce shook his head fondly at his sons antics.

All of them are going to be with the death of him.

The young trio was in a plane, flying to their location. It was quiet and they had a few hours to kill before landing down at their designated location. (Y/N) put it on autopilot and leaned back. He adjusted his gauntlets on his hands.

It was slightly nerve wrecking for all of them. When on missions they had supervision, they had guidance and they could call the moment something went wrong.

This time is a bit different. Did they have guidance? Yes. Did they have supervision? No.

But the trio knew that their parents were watching. They weren't completely alone in the dark.

" And what do we do know? I'm bored. " James said, crossing his arms.

" And that doesn't sound like my problem. You know you don't have the stamina to fly so long and you can't be weak for this mission. " (Y/N) responded, rubbing his eyes. He heard a tsk and for a split second he thought that Damian was behind him. But no.

" You know Althea, I wouldn't tsk since you can't fly that long either. " (Y/N) snapped back.

" I thought you two are supposed to be strong. Men like to boast about their strength. " Althea said and (Y/N) turned his head to look at her.

" I still can't believe that you are Wonder Woman's daughter. She doesn't hate men and yet you are so far up your own ass that you can't see reality. Is that the result of Amazon upbringing? " (Y/N) asked, sarcasm slipping through into his voice.

There was silence before she huffed, turning her head away. James sighed, shaking his head. They are supposed to be a team and not sworn enemies.

" Well, this mission is going to go well. "James mumbled and (Y/N) closed his eyes, just ready to meditate and get himself mentally ready for the mission.

The landing was quiet and the trio embarked on the shore. They stopped in the bush and (Y/N) zoomed in the view he had. Thank God for built in binoculars within his cowl.

He saw 2 guarding the door.

" Give me a minute and I will disable the security system. I think we will have about 20 minutes to get in and get out. I will take out the 2 in the front and when we get in, we are separating. I know we don't like each other, but we put all of that aside. Now we are teammates. " (Y/N) said and the two nodded in agreement.

" Good. Comms are going to be on the entire time. And if you see Deathstroke, call me. " (Y/N) said, opening up the tiny computer on his gauntlet. He typed a few buttons and the system was officially down.

(Y/N) took a deep breath. It's time to go.

" Lets go. " (Y/N) said and ran towards the two, seemingly out of nowhere. They didn't have a chance with (Y/N). After taking their cards, he swiped it to open the door.

" Now we split. Wonder Girl, you are going left, there is an office there, see if you can find anything there. Superboy, you are going to the right. There are guard's room on the right so if you see some, knock 'em out. I will go straight for the hardware room. And if I find any weapons, I will destroy them. Comms ON. " (Y/N) said and the other two nodded.

And so they separated. Wonder Girl went left, (V/N) went straight ahead and Superboy went to the right. (Y/N) ran in the hall, passing by the grey walls.

There is a certain adrenaline rush you get on certain types of missions. If he is patrolling in the city, it's something normal and usual, almost like a routine. It was nice, but deep down he is an adrenaline addict and he is just looking for some extra adrenaline.

Missions alone with his dad or with others was a bit better in terms of adrenaline. The missions were always out of Gotham city and he was in place were he has never been before. And it always led to him doing some crazy shit that is guaranteed to give Bruce a lot of grey hairs.

But a mission alone, without the supervision of their parents? It brought out a new wave of adrenaline rush that he has never felt before. It made him feel free and way beyond light. When he started being a vigilante, there was this constant fear. But now, there was no fear.

It was just sheer bravery and intent to get his dad proud. Bruce was already proud, but it would mean everything to (Y/N) that he could prove himself. "

" Yes. I checked everything. And you said yes to my proposition. " Bruce said, looking at the two.

" Are you sure about this Batman? " Wonder Woman asked as they were sitting in the conference room, waiting for their children. None of them are able to sleep without their children in their own homes. Bruce more so then others.

" I know that he wouldn't send them straight into fire. Intel and covert, that much they can handle. " Superman said, clearly agreeing with Batman.

" I know and I know that they are more than capable of doing this mission, but I worry. She is my only daughter and I love her to death. (Y/N) and James are my nephews and I love those two death to. " She said, sighing quietly.

" But I worry about them working together. And also, weren't they supposed to report back? A few minutes ago? "

Everyone was silent before running to the second airplane they had. Yeah... Maybe it wasn't a good idea to let them go alone.

The mission kind of went south. Their cover was blown and now they had to fight their way through the guards. Thankfully, there was no Vandal Savage and his kids, but there was Deathstroke.

Turns out, there was no actual intel. This was meant to be a trap for Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman. Now that ticked (Y/N) off and he couldn't let it happen.

Absolutely not. Nobody threatens his family and just goes on with his business. And he had to settle a score after putting Nightwing out of action for months on end.

And even if he dies and this is the last thing he does, then so be it. Deathstroke didn't have any objections to (Y/N)'s plan. But the plan went tits up when (Y/N) got blown up to the next room. He hissed as he looked down to his stomach.

A shrapnel. A fucking shrapnel. He hissed as he took it out and took a syringe of something similar to the liquid from the Lazarus pit. He pressed the syringe into the wound, allowing the liquid to heal him.

It's a liquid only used in the emergency situations. (Y/N) lunged back at Deathstroke, taking advantage of the surprise. He managed to knock the bastard out. He was huffing at the dull pain, trying to block it out.

" Shit... " (Y/N) cursed, leaning down to rest his hands on his knees. It would all be fine if another bomb exploded, nearly knocking him out cold, but he was dancing on the edge.

He could hear a female and a male voice above him. He was blinking, trying to regain focus. He laughed as he saw their worried faces. They froze, looking at him worried.

" Why are you laughing? " Althea asked, worried beyond belief.

" Because you think a bomb can take me out. " (Y/N) said, laughing even more. When he calmed down, he took a deep breath and looked at the two.

" You two can help me up now. This was a trap for our parents instead. " (Y/N) said and James nodded.

" We know. Comms are always on. " James tried to joke as Althea and him pulled (Y/N) up.

" Our parents are going to kill us. " (Y/N) announced and the other two nodded.

" I don't know about you two, but I'm going to the plane, with or without you. " (Y/N) said and they agreed. The trio ran, just ready to get the hell out of here.

It was nice to see their parents, ready to fight for them. All 3 fussed about them, Bruce more than others. (Y/N) knew that they are going fight about rest when they come home. At one point, the trio started laughing out of nowhere and the OG trio looked worried. Some inwardly, some outwardly.

" What is going on? " Superman asked, looking around for some answers.

Nobody answered him.

After 2 months, they worked together again, but with their parents with them. It was a one completely 180 from their previous communication. The OG trio noticed a lot of similarities.

They were turning into their parents.

" Should we be worried? " Wonder Woman asked once, watching the footage from their last mission. It was just like them.

" I mean... Are we bad role models? " Superman asked out loud and Batman stayed quiet.

" No. But... You know, lets see where this goes. " Superman suggested. Bruce just pinched the bridge of his nose. May God help them.

[whoops-im-obsessed]

Everything I remember from mischief movie night last night!!

Last night (13/8/24) was 'In-Tents Love' a rom-com set in a summer camp for troubled youths featuring a Parisian anime scene. Because.. of course.

Henry Lewis Oscar!! Bro was having so much fun with this, he was just grinning at his castmates the whole time

Cast was Shields, Josh, Niall, Bryony, Susan and Ellie!

Started with someone suggesting Hull as a location which got a round of applause and Henry Lewis to say 'we never should have written that fucking line'

Whole cast were very scared by the anime suggestion

The movie started with a song which started with Niall singing 'IM TROUBLED' and everyone sung about what they'd done to end up here and that there's gonna be troubleeee for me! And troubleeee for you!

Shout out to the late comers in the front row who got pointed at and told there would be trouble for them

Niall (Bobby) hugs things so hard they die

Bryony (Mary Sue) sets stuff on fire and lives alone in a tent

Josh (Tommy) I actually don't remember

Susan (Sue?? Was referred mostly to as mystery girl) seemed to be there for no reason

And Ellie (token Penelope) stole 1000 bees

Shields (Richard) was in charge of the camp

After the song Bobby and Tommy had a conversation and it was implied that they would be the love interests until it was revealed that Bobby killed Tommy's dog by hugging it too hard, still were potential love interests until Bobby said 'how's dad?' And Oscar had to call a pause and yell 'THEYRE BROTHERS'

The other characters are getting to know each other by the river, Mary Sue sets a fire and Mystery girl (who maybe had a name by now idk) doesn't know what it is and kept touching it (fire admirably played by Niall and the blue cloth)

Its revealed that Penelope has a crush on Tommy! The others tell her she needs to go for it. She decides she's gonna give him a dead bee.

It is revealed in this scene that mystery girl is here for a reason and its actually because she has loads of underage sex

Cue Josh joined quickly by Shields and Niall chanting 'sex~' while doing a camp little dance

Cut to a directors (Josh) interview where he was asked why he decided to have 3 grown men chanting sex in the back of this scene and he said he went to an all boys boarding school and that's just what they did there. He was promptly arrested.

The girls sing a song about the birds and the bees which turned into a sing along chorus where we all had to go 'what about beeees? What about beeees? What about bees? And Birds!'

Bobby and Tommy are about to have a breakthrough and say they love eachother when Penelope goes along and interrupts the brotherly bonding by giving Tommy a dead bee on a piece of string as a ring. He is disgusted and then into it and they go on a date.

Bobby is heartbroken bc he has a crush on Penelope and Richard gives him some advice - you miss all the shots you don't take. During this they were playing basketball and Richard was very good and didn't let anyone else have a turn. When Bobby did have a turn he missed.

It turns out Richard read Bobby's diary to learn about his crush and the Parisian anime scene is him trying to find it - cue Shields doing dramatic moves and a strong French accent trying to find 'La Diary!!!' When he found it, it granted him 'POWER'

The bee was apparently 'Einstein's bee' and when asked to explain, the director said he sneezed on the keyboard and kept it in, he was then asked where the bodies were.

The next scene started with Tommy doing an odd ballet dance which Oscar promptly paused

Tommy and Penelope were on their date on a boat, during the set up for this scene Bryony whacked Ellie in the head with a walking stick (oops)

Penelope only knows how to row in circles

The two talk and Penelope is too eager, telling Tommy she loves him, he doesn't like this and jumps off the boat and swims away. Penelope gets stuck going in circles.

Cut to Bobby and Mary Sue having a nice chat, they decide to be friends and sing a song about how amazing it is to be friends! This is interrupted by Tommy who asks Mary Sue on a date and Bobby is broken hearted a second time

Neither Josh nor Susan remembered Mary Sue's name and tried several ways to get around it, interrupted by Oscar, until they ended up saying she had 'Marie energy'

Mary Sue and Tommy go on a fishing date where Mary Sue throws rocks into the river to kill the fish. Tommy says how much he likes her and She doesn't like it and runs away.

Penelope is distraught and goes to Richard for advice, she's upset that everyone is pairing off and she doesn't have anyone. There's an interlude where Richard is met by Lord Gerald who runs all of the summer camps and wanted to check up on him. It seems there may be something there until the police arrive questioning Richard's intentions - Oscar interrupts this so it doesn't descend into madness and the scene continues with Gerald repeating Richard's name several times, as up until this point he didn't have one.

When Gerald leaves, Penelope is upset because Richard was supposed to be giving her advice! He gives her the same advice as he gave Bobby and its a sweet scene until she eats the bee and spits it back out. She takes a shot with the basketball and also misses.

The girls meet up by the river again and agree that boys are bad. The mystery girl introduces the concept of lesbianism and Mary Sue has a bit of a realisation - this looks like it might turn into another song until Bobby interrupts to say Tommy is hanging off the balcony

Tommy is upset and claims the balcony is his safe space - everyone agrees this is not a very safe space actually.

They try to calm him down and Bobby eventually tells Tommy he loves him, they get Tommy down and they have a hug, which doesn't kill anything this time.

Its revealed that Richard has actually been reading everyone's diaries and was trying to get them all to have sex the whole time. He learns about the concept of familial love and decides to turn himself in

The kids decide they aren't gonna go back to their horrible home lives and that they're just gonna stay at camp actually, they learn they can choose their own family and its very sweet

It ends with a song about the birds and the bees again, which goes 'the birds and the bees, the bees and the bees! What ever you please at summer camp!'

[nanomooselet]

Player

You know, it's odd...

We don't learn anything about these people. No names, nothing about their lives. They don't seem to exist as anything but environmental detail. Zazie, who only ever tells the truth, doesn't admit to having killed them when Vash asks directly.

Judging by the bullet wounds, it was Wolfwood who did it. Not the first he's killed, not the last, and certainly not the ones he'll lose sleep over. He's been doing this for a long time. It was just the latest job.

For the look of the thing, he'll give them a burial. Pay his respects.

Press F.

Killing his friends: a boy's favourite past-time.

Being pursued through an empty town by an unstoppable enemy that fixates only on a single target.

When Monev dies, in the score (Dud, 1:43) there's an oddly triumphant little fanfare.

"Why'd you shoot?"

"Mercy."

Speaking of fanfares... (Tell me this isn't a victory pose.)

"You only get one life." Unless you're Wolfwood. Because that's what these are. Extra lives. Take a mortal wound, then take one of these to continue.

Either he cheated, or he found a secret. Probably the latter.

These technicians are very conspicuous clones of the same model with very small alterations. Minor gradations in skin-tone, different hair styles... they're like dummies. They exist only to die messily for someone's satisfaction.

They're straw-men. They were set up to be knocked down.

Vash sneezes and alerts the guards in July. They have to wait for the timer to run out on the alert. Then they go through a sewer level.

Escort missions are always so frustrating. It's like the NPC is trying to die.

It's dangerous to go alone. Take this.

Dropping his inventory. Smokes. Extra ammo. Booze.

But someone pulled the nail. He knew what he was dealing with. Roberto's gone, but not forever. His spirit is free. He'll be around.

Knives spends all his time at a keyboard in the dark.

Isn't it time to face reality?

Vash had to position himself on the trapdoor to activate the cutscene. That does always look a bit stupid.

Meryl's the boss.

Protip: Even if they have godmode enabled, opponents can be stunlocked.

Like keep-away, Hot Potato is a fun game to play with family. The player holding the hot potato when time runs out is eliminated.

Destructible environments.

Stomp.

And appropriate theme music for a white-haired bishounen with a god complex.

Or a presence haunting the moon.

Or a false god of control.

All calamities from beyond, existing to recruit and assimilate. To colonise receptive environments. To spawn copies of themselves.

Fortunately things like this are beholden to extremely rigid sets of rules, and they're also very, very stupid. But you can't take them out with directionless violence. They're prepared for that. You've got to be tricky.

Better luck next time, Wolfwood. This time, he's only dressed up as the hero. In truth he's a moppet. An effigy to draw enemy attention and take the bullet while the real version gets ready to hit from an impossible direction.

This is a job for a trickster, not a punisher, or a sacrifice. He's been played for a fool.

[fervidgrey]

Heavy In Your Arms

Disclaimers

Notes: This fic is Togame Jo-centric, not a huge fan of Choji so fans beware- Choji stays crazy, there will be original characters sprinkled in as needed, MC is on the thicker side (i've left this open to interpretation) Jo is nearly 200lbs he can handle some thicc thighs.

Fic wide TW: Aged Up Characters, No Characters Below 18,  No Use of Y/N, Reader’s Body is MOSTLY Open to Interpretation- but leans thicc, Unhealthy Coping Skills, People Pleaser- Reader Has Some Spine, Established Family Dynamics, Unhealthy Relationship, Praise Kink, Light BDSM, Exhibition, Dead Dove: Read Warnings!, Graphic Depictions of Gang Violence,  Sexual Content, Sexual Assault, Drug Use, Threats of Vilolence, Graphic Depictions of Torture, Xenophobia, Mentions of Drugs, Graphic Depictions of Drug Use, AU- Cannon Divergence.

Please do not read if this would harm you in any way, your mental health comes first!

Book: Heavy in Your Arms

Chapter: 6, And he took me to the river

Chapter TW: There will be smut that includes: popping of the cherry(no blood), fingers, exhibitionism, genital snacking, major man handling, spanking, unprotected sex, creampies. I think that is it…anyways ye have been warned!

Word Count: 20,000~ (A really cute beta did some betaing but, we still die like men.)

It was 7AM which wasn’t particularly interesting but it was 2 hours before you needed to log on to your online class. That was just enough time to grab food, do a chore or two, and have Kaoru come over so you could call Kotoha. Your bottom lip sat between your teeth as you stared at the text messages from Kotoha. All of them tugging so hard on your heart, the guilt making it difficult to not cry. 

“Hey, did something happen? Hiragi is freaking out!”

“What is going on, Hiragi is talking about Shishitoren, are you okay?”

“Call me as soon as you can!”

“Just let me know you are safe!”

“Please tell me you are safe!”

“I am going to come over and check on you! Hiragi gave me your aunt's address.” 

“I am here, are you home?”

“Please call me.” 

“We are friends no matter what, ok?”

“I’m here for you if you need anything.” 

All her texts were left unanswered. You stare at your phone, your heart heavy as you reread through Kotoha's increasingly worried messages. The guilt gnaws at you, knowing how concerned she must have been- it was. Your fingers hover over the keyboard, desperate to reassure her that you're okay, but Togame's instructions echo in your mind.

With a frustrated sigh, you set your phone aside and get out of bed. It was too early to call Kaoru, so the best bet was to work on food and some chores. As you go through your morning routine, your thoughts keep drifting back to Kotoha and Toma. The memory of Toma's hurt expression in the tunnel keeps a dull throb in your chest, and a small headache in your temples. 

With a quick temple rub you walk toward the kitchen. Your aunt is already in the kitchen, but only the smell of fresh brewed tea. For a moment you think about making pancakes but the thought brings a new wave of sorrow. Coffee never let you down before, and today was no different. 

"Good morning," you say, forcing a dull smile to your face. Your aunt turns, eyeing you critically.

"You're up early. Couldn't sleep?" She replies. For a moment you want to yell, ask her to comfort you in this moment but like all the other times in life, you go silent, pushing your thoughts down.

You shrug, trying to keep your voice relaxed. "Just woke up early, I guess." You pull out the supplies needed to make yourself a cup of coffee, avoiding your aunt's searching gaze. With a small sigh you flip the kettle’s boil button then proceed to stare at nothing.

"Mm-hmm," she hums, clearly unconvinced but turns on her heels, trotting back to her favorite chair and TV. You watch as she flips through different channels, settling on the local news station rambling about the weather and uv index for the day. Your mind starts to disconnect from the body, sending you far from your aunt's little house- you’re staring at a meadow with a small cottage wanting to go in and not come out. A small beep brings you back to kitchen water fully boiled and ready for a pour over coffee.

Fresh coffee in hand you slowly walk back to your room. Mind still weighed down by everything. You take a moment to look over your room, it was a lot messier than you remembered. Small things like a book pulled out of place when you hadn’t recalled touching it in some time. You place your coffee on your desk before turning back to your room. No way you were going to have Kaoru over without picking up.

First you picked up your closet, shifting clothes around a bit, fitting the stuff from your shopping bags into the clothes. You quirk an eyebrow at the suitcases at the bottom of the closet, they looked shifted, like you had rolled them forward somehow. With an annoyed sigh you pushed them back further, letting your longer clothing fall forward. Clearly in your haze of boy, and family trouble to let your room fall apart. 

Turning back to your bed you fix it up, making sure to fluff your pillows. You frowned, your cat plushie Mimao was not in the corner of your bed near the wall- as he always was. Your head tilts in confusion, for a moment you pondered if your aunt was coming into your room while you were out. You shifted all the blankets, removed the pillows but didn’t see him. 

You shift to your knees to get a look under your bed. You frown, he was there which was a relief but how he got there made no sense. With a huff you got down on your belly and stretched to reach him. Upon standing back up you look over the plush wondering if you were dealing with an Arrietty situation. Since you didn’t have an explanation you chalk it up to throwing him off in your sleep and then kicking him under your bed in the morning without noticing- somehow. With a small smile you place Mimao in the middle of your freshly made bed before seeking out your coffee.

A chime from your phone catches your attention. You got a text from Kaoru: “Togame said you needed something?” A frown forms, while it was true, it was starting to worry you how often Togame was going to send Kauro over, would he visit less? You grumble unintelligible words while walking to the front door. Grabbing a pair of slip on outdoor shoes, you shimmy then on outside the entryway, readying your next text.

“Yeah you can come over now” you text back as your shoes click into place. The walk from the Orion was only a few minutes and you wanted to make sure Kauro took off his jacket before coming inside, your auntie figuring out you were dating a yakuza was the last thing you needed. 

While musing on that thought you heard a ping. Looking at your phone made you confused, there was no new message. Looking around you realized it had to come from somewhere else. Ever curious you open the gate to your courtyard entrance, peering out you see the familiar Kauro leaning against the courtyard wall.

“What are you doing here already?” you ask, Kaoru looked up from his phone, giving you a small smile.

"Good morning. I was already in the area, so I figured I'd wait nearby in case you needed anything." You blink, surprised by his presence- and slightly put off. "Oh. Um, thanks. I was actually just texting you to come over."

Kaoru nods, straightening up. "Togame-sama mentioned you might want to make a call this morning. I'm here to supervise, as requested." His tone didn’t sound sarcastic but it felt agitating regardless. 

You bite your lip, trying not to let your frustration show. The idea of needing supervision for a simple phone call still irks you, but you know arguing won't change anything at this point.

"Right," you say, forcing a smile. "Well, come in then. But, um, could you maybe take off your jacket first? I don't want my aunt asking questions."

Kaoru slows his movement, clearly not interested in removing his jacket. You frown for a moment, thinking it was going to become a fight. But he nods and slips the jersey from his shoulders then rolls it up and sets it gently on a bench in your courtyard.

You lead Kaoru inside, quietly closing the front door behind you. Your aunt calls out from the living room, "Who's here?" How was she even able to notice people from that far away?

"Just a new friend, Auntie!" you reply, hoping she won't press further. “He is going to help with my studies in my room for a bit." Your aunt hums in acknowledgment, and you breathe a small sigh of relief as you guide Kaoru to your bedroom. Once inside, you close the door and turn to face him.

"So, how does this work exactly?" you ask, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. "Do you need to listen in on the call or...?"

Kaoru shakes his head. "I just need to be present. I won't listen in unless necessary. But I will need to report the general content of the conversation to Togame-san."

You nod, trying to quell the raging urge to be sick in your stomach. You motion to your desk from him to sit down. Kaoru sits at your desk, his posture seemed relaxed but somehow stone-like. You settle onto your bed with a huff, phone in hand, your nerves making your fingers tremble slightly as you pull up Kotoha's contact information. This was what you wanted, to speak with Kotoha, but this felt awful. 

"Okay," you say softly, more to yourself than to Kaoru. "Here goes...everything" You hit the call button, your heart pounding as the phone rings. On the third ring, Kotoha picks up.

"Hello?" Her voice is cautious, uncertain.

"Kotoha," you breathe, relief washing over you at the sound of her voice. "It's me." you felt stupid saying that but struggled to find something normal to say. 

"Oh my god," Kotoha exclaims, her voice a mix of relief and concern. "Are you okay? What happened? We've all been so worried!" You swallow hard, very aware of Kaoru's presence in the room. "I'm fine, just a bit shaken up.” you admit. 

“Why what happened?! Did you get hurt!?” She nearly shouted into your ear. For a moment you wondered how much your cousin had told everyone. How much did any of them say? You didn’t think you could find the energy to talk about the moment in the tunnel, even to Kotoha. 

“No, I didn’t get hurt-” You pause, guilt filling you. “I just wasn’t ready for everyone to find out about Togame- like that anyways.” 

There's a pause on the other end of the line. When Kotoha speaks again, her voice is softer, filled with hesitation. "Toma told us what happened. About Togame being in Shishitoren. Is it true?"

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath. "Yes, it's true. I... I didn't know at first. By the time I found out, things were already..." you trail off, unsure how to explain.

"Okay." Kotoha says quietly. "And now? Are you okay? Are you safe?"

You glance at Kaoru, who is studiously looking away, giving you the illusion of privacy. "I'm safe," you assure her. "Togame, he... he's just worried about me.” it was a poor offering, but it was all you had to give her. 

Kotoha is quiet for another moment- rustling making it sound like she switched ears she was using. When she spoke again, her tone sounded vexed. "Worried about you? What do you mean?"

You chew on your upper lip, trying to figure out how to explain without saying too much. "It's complicated. With everything that happened, he's just being cautious. Making sure I'm protected."

"Protected from what?" Kotoha asks, her tone sharpening. "From us? Your friends and family?"

You wince at the hurt in her voice. "No, it's not like that. It's just... there are things I don't fully understand yet. About Shishitoren and Bofurin. Togame says-" You trail off completely as your eyes connect with Kauro who is gripping the side of your desk a bit tightly

"What does he say?" Kotoha echoes back, now with a touch of mockery in the undertone of her question. But you don’t get time to respond, she explodes- her words sounding choked. "This all sounds insane, you know that right? Hiragi said you have a guard now, like a prisoner!" a small sniff nearly sent you to tears. 

With a racing heart you formed your words carefully. You wanted to  defend Togame and acknowledge Kotoha's valid concerns. "It's not like that," you slowly insist, though your voice lacks conviction. "I promise." another weak offering to your rightfully upset friend. 

"Will you promise to tell me if you need help?" Kotoha presses. "Just say anything, say scarf, and I’ll make Bofurin storm their shitty hideout. Promise me, please!" She begged. 

You close your eyes, feeling overwhelmed. "Okay." You glance at Kaoru again, who is now texting on his phone, making goosebumps form along your spine. "You know, we need to go shopping again soon." You say randomly, trying to break the tension forming on both sides of your phone.

Kotoha is quiet for a moment. When she speaks again, her voice is soft, almost pleading. "We're worried about you. Hiragi is devastated. He thinks he's lost you.”

You feel tears pricking at your eyes at the mention of Toma. "I know," you say softly. "I never meant to hurt him. Or any of you. I just..." you trail off, unsure how to explain the complicated tangle of emotions you're feeling.

"You just what?" Kotoha prompts gently.

You take a shaky breath. "I care about Togame. I know it's complicated and messy, but I do. And I made a choice." Even as you say the words, you feel a twinge of doubt. Did you really choose, or did you just let yourself get swept away?

The silence makes you look at your phone to double check she didn’t hang up. When she does speak again, her voice is careful and measured- like her brother. "I understand that you care about him. But are you sure this is what you want? All of this... control and isolation?"

You bite your lip not able to speak right away, no it wasn’t, but being with him felt so good. Everything made sense when you were with him, nothing felt out of control when he held you.

"I don't know," you admit quietly. "It all happened so fast. But Togame, he makes me feel..." You trail off, struggling to find the right words.

"Feel what?" Kotoha asks clearly trying to understand you.

"Safe," you whisper. "Wanted. Like I matter." Even as you say the words, you feel a twinge of guilt. Didn't your friends and family make you feel that way too? 

Kotoha sighs softly. "You matter. To all of us. We want to make sure you're okay."

You nod, even though she can't see you. "I know. And I appreciate that. I really do. It's just different." You pause, glancing at Kaoru who is still texting. "Listen, I should probably go. But can we talk again soon?"

"Of course, please text me back, and just say scarf if something goes wrong, okay?”

“Okay, I will.” You promise, meaning it fully. 

You end the call with Kotoha, a mix of emotions swirling inside you. Relief at finally speaking to your friend, guilt over the worry you've caused, and a lingering unease about your entire situation.

Kaoru clears his throat softly, reminding you of his presence. "Everything okay?" he asks, his tone neutral.

You shake your head no, but force a smile. "Not really, but it was nice to talk to her." You wanted a hug from Kotoha, to feel like you didn’t just push a friend away.

Kaoru studies your face for a moment before speaking. "I need to report back to Togame-san about the call. Is there anything specific you want me to tell him?" The look on his face made you relax, it wasn’t a full offer to be on your side, but something told you he was.

You hesitate, unsure how much to ask. "Just... that we talked. That I reassured her I'm safe." You pause thinking over your options. "And maybe... that I'd like to see her in person soon. And my cousin, he wants to see me soon. "

Kaoru nods, his expression softening slightly. "I'll pass that along to Togame-san." He stands up, smoothing out his shirt. "Is there anything else you need before I go?"

You shake your head, feeling drained from the emotional phone call. "No, thank you Kaoru."

As he turns to leave, a thought occurs to you. "Actually, wait," you call out. Kaoru pauses, looking back at you expectantly.

"Could you... could you ask Togame when I'll see him next?" You hate how needy you sound, but you can't help the longing that is welling up inside you. 

Kaoru's expression is unreadable as he stares for several seconds. "You don’t need to ask, just call him, or go to Orion. If he is busy you’ll just be asked to wait." 

You stare at Kaoru, surprised by his response. "Wait, I can just... go to Orion? Whenever?" The idea seemed almost too simple. How could you just walk into a yakuza building? Weren’t there rules about visitors? What if you stumbled into something you weren’t supposed to see? Every American  mafia movie told you walking into a gang’s den was certain death. 

Kaoru nods, his expression starting to show confusion. "Of course. You're Togame-sama's..." he paused, seemingly searching for the right word. "Partner. You have access to the building." The word 'partner' makes your brain freeze. Is that what he called you around others? Partner? 

"Oh," you say softly. "I didn't realize." There was a lot you hadn’t realized, like people seeing you two as a couple, or if you were even a couple yet. The thought lingered in your mind, what were you supposed to say? So far you had told friends, and family you belonged to him but you didn’t even know what he thought outside that, no wonder they were concerned.

Kaoru's expression softens slightly. "Togame-san values you highly. He wouldn't restrict your access to him." He pauses, then adds, "Though it's best to let me know if you're planning to go, so I can escort you."

You nod, taking in everything he said. Part of you is relieved to know you can see Togame whenever you like. You glance at your clock for a moment noticing you had class in an hour. Your lips purse as you think about how to proceed. You wanted to see him today if he wasn’t busy.

“Well, I have class soon, then I would like to go to the Orion. Would you care to stay, or leave for an hour and a half?”

Kaoru considers your question for a moment before responding. "I can wait outside if you prefer. Or I can return in an hour and a half to escort you to Orion Stars. Which would you prefer?"

You falter, wondering if you was asking too much. Having Kaoru wait outside feels a bit callous, but you're also eager to see Togame as soon as possible after your class. You settle on asking him to stay, and seeing if he was okay waiting inside. 

"If it's not too much trouble, would you mind waiting?" you ask hesitantly. "That way we can leave right after my class ends."

Kaoru nods, his expression neutral. "Of course. I'll wait in the courtyard." He moves towards the door, then pauses.

You shake your head. "No, Kaoru, you can wait here if you like. It’s no trouble."

Kaoru hesitates for a moment, then nods. "If you're sure it won't be a disturbance."

You shake your head, forcing a small smile. "Not at all. Make yourself comfortable." You gesture to the desk chair. "I'll just be on my laptop with headphones, so you won't bother me." 

As Kaoru settles into the chair, you set up your laptop for class. An awkward silence falls over the room as you wait for your class to start. You can feel Kaoru's presence acutely, a constant reminder of how much your life has changed in such a short time.

As your professor's voice drones on through your headphones, you find it increasingly difficult to focus on the lecture. Your mind keeps drifting to Togame, to the conflicting emotions swirling inside you. Part of you aches to see him, to feel his strong arms around you, reassuring you that everything will be okay. But another part can't shake the doubt planted by Kotoha's concerned words.

You glance over at Kaoru, who sits quietly at your desk, absorbed in something on his phone. His presence is both comforting and unsettling - you take a moment to think about being his friend- would he ever defend you like Kotoha did? You wonder what he thinks of all this, if he sees you as just another obligation in his job or if he even understands the turmoil you're going through- or cares. 

You're jolted from your thoughts by a question from your professor posed about philosophy. Scrambling to focus, you realize you've missed a significant portion of the lecture. With a frustrated sigh, you try to tune back in, but your mind keeps drifting again. You were thankful in these moments it was all recorded so you could go back and rewatch while doing the assessments and readings.

After the class finally ends, you close your laptop with a deep sigh. The work assigned was small and you could get that done easily before Friday. As you close your laptop, Kaoru looks up from his phone. "All finished?" he asks politely.

You nod, stretching your arms above your head. "Yeah, finally. Thanks for waiting."

Kaoru stands, smoothing out his shirt. "Of course. Ready to head to Orion Stars now?"

Nervousness flutters in your stomach at the thought of seeing Togame. "Yes, I think so," you reply, grabbing your phone and a light jacket.

As you and Kaoru make your way out of the house, your aunt calls out from the living room. "Going out?"

You hesitate for a moment before replying. "Just going to meet up with Togame for a bit, Auntie." 

“Will you be out late?” Your aunt appears in the hallway, her eyes narrowed.

You hesitate, unsure how to answer. "I'm not sure, Auntie. I’ll keep you informed."

Your aunt's eyes flick to Kaoru, who stands quietly beside you. Her expression is firm as she says, "Alright." looking you both over. 

The unease builds in you over her sudden attention of Kaoru, maybe going to so often was making her feel nervous. "I will, Auntie. See you later."

As you and Kaoru step outside, you let out a long breath- already tired. He grabs his jacket, holding it under his arm until you are both out of sight from the house. The walk to Orion Stars is quiet, your mind racing with thoughts of seeing Togame again. 

When you arrive at the imposing building, Kaoru leads you inside with a nod to the security who simply stare at the both of you. Upon entering Orion Stars, the atmosphere shifts immediately. The bustling lobby falls silent as heads turn to watch you and Kaoru pass. You can feel the weight of their stares, a mix of curiosity and wariness. It's clear that word has spread about who you are and your connection to Togame. You shift closer to Kauro, bumping into him awkwardly.

"You okay?" Kaoru asks quietly, his tone neutral but not unkind.

"Yeah, just not used to all the attention." you struggle to say, still oddly pushing against his side. You felt so exposed without Togame near, suddenly the idea of Kaoru being around wasn’t so bad. Gently he takes your elbow from the bottom, pulling you along.

Kaoru guides you to the elevator, his hand still gently supporting your elbow. As the doors close, shutting out the curious stares, you let out a shaky breath. The elevator looks brand new, gilded in gold and decorative wood carvings.

"It'll get easier," Kaoru says softly. "They'll get used to seeing you around."

You nod, not entirely convinced. As the elevator ascends, your nervousness grows. What if Togame is too busy to see you? What if he's annoyed that you came unannounced? The elevator dings, and Kaoru leads you down a hallway you’ve never seen. This level looks completely different. Everything is brand new, shiny, and expensive looking.

“This level is for the higher ups, and their guests.” He offers upon your shocked expression. You follow Kaoru down the polished hallway, your eyes wide as you take in the luxurious surroundings. The walls are adorned with tasteful artwork, and intricate carpeting making you aware of your shoes still being on. It's a stark contrast to the more run down and utilitarian areas of the building you've seen before.

As you approach a massive set of ornate double doors, Kaoru pauses. "Togame-sama's lounge," he explains, knocking softly. Your heart races as you wait for a response. After a moment, Togame's voice calls out  "Enter."

Kaoru opens the doors, gesturing for you to go in first. You take a deep breath and step inside. The first thing that strikes you as you enter the room is how spacious it is. The lounge is elegantly furnished, with plush leather sofas, a sleek bar area, and floor-to-ceiling windows offering a breathtaking view of the city. Your eyes scan the room, finally landing on Togame.

He's seated in a wide chair, his posture relaxed but commanding. As he looks up from his phone and sees you, a smile spreads across his face. "Perfect timing." he says, his voice warm as his phone closes with a snap. You feel a rush of relief at his welcoming tone. "I hope I'm not interrupting." you say softly, suddenly feeling shy.

Togame stands, moving towards you in a few quick strides. "Not at all. Glad you're here." He turns to Kaoru, who still stands in the doorway. "You can go.” he motioned a hand to Kaoru before looking back at you.

Kaoru nods and quietly exits, closing the door behind him. You're left alone with Togame, your heart still beating wildly as he fully closes the gap. His green eyes roam over you, like he hadn’t fully memorized you yet. 

"I've missed you," Togame says softly, reaching out to cup your cheek. His touch sends a shiver through you, and you lean into his hand instinctively.

"I missed you too," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. "I hope it's okay that I came here."

Togame's thumb brushes over your bottom lip as he smiles down at you. "You're always welcome here." He gestures with one hand to the full room, washing some of your nervousness away. But there's still an undercurrent of tension, questions and concerns swirling in your mind. You lean into his touch, craving the comfort and security it provides. You take a deep breath, gathering your courage.

"Togame," you start hesitantly. "Can we talk? About... everything?" 

His expression shifts slightly, becoming more guarded. But he nods, leading you over to one of the plush sofas. As you sit down, he keeps hold of your hand, his thumb tracing small circles on your skin.

"Go ahead." he asks, his tone leveled with professionalism.

You take a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. There's so much you want to say, so many questions you need answered, but you're not sure where to start.

"I'm still confused." you finally admit, your voice soft. "Everything has happened so fast, and I feel like I'm caught in the middle of something I don't fully understand."

A look of understanding passes over his features, while his thumb continues its gentle path on your hand, a soothing gesture that both comforts and distracts you.

"What specifically are you confused about?" he asks, his tone patient.

You bite your lip, considering everything. "All of it, I guess. The situation with Bofurin, the restrictions, the guard... I know you say it's for my protection, but it feels.." you trail off, unsure how to express the conflicting emotions swirling inside you. Togame's jaw tightens slightly at the mention of Bofurin, but he remains silent, waiting for you to continue.

“It feels like I am a pawn.” you manage to say, not able to fully admit out-loud or even to yourself that you felt used, controlled, and lost. His shoulders square back at your words, his grip on your hand tightening almost imperceptibly. He's quiet for a long moment, seemingly considering his response- or pushing down emotions. In these moments it felt like he was unreadable making it clear that everything he displays emotion-wise is calculated with precision- good and bad. 

"You're not a pawn," he vehemently announces  "You're far more than that. To me, and to others." he finished speaking but you can tell there was more just by the look in his eyes. You frown, not entirely reassured by his words. 

"But that's just it. I feel like I'm being treated as something valuable, not someone. The restrictions, the guard... it feels like I'm being controlled."

Togame sighs, running his free hand through his hair. "I understand why it might feel that way," he says carefully. "But try to understand the position we're in. Your connection to both Shishitoren and Bofurin makes you a target."

“Why am I a target? I don’t have money. I’m no one.”

Togame's expression shifts, becoming more serious. "You're not 'no one'," he says firmly, pulling your chin to him. “You are mine.” He stares hard enough to make you squirm. Feeling your sudden discomfort he lets up, gently letting your chin go. "You're connected to both Shishitoren and Bofurin now, and everyone knows it. That makes you valuable to dangerous people. We both have enemies."

You frown, still not fully understanding. "But I don't know anything about either group's operations. I'm just... me."

Togame sighs, his thumb still tracing circles on your hand. "It's not about what you know. It's about what others think you might know, or what they could use you for." He pauses, his gaze intense as he looks at you. "You're my weakness now. And Bofurin's- because of Hiragi. That makes you a target for anyone who wants to get to either of us."

The idea sends a chill through you. "Is that... likely to happen?"

Togame shakes his head. "Not if we're careful. Which is why precautions are necessary." He states, leaning back. You nod slowly, processing this information correctly for the first time.

"I didn't realize," you say softly. "But still, it feels so... extreme. Not being able to see my friends or family without permission..."

Togame's jaw tightens slightly. "It's temporary." he corrected, though his tone lacked enough conviction to sooth you. "Until things settle down. Your interactions need to be limited with Bofurin members, just for now."

You frown, feeling a flare of frustration. "I can't just cut them out of my life like this, it hurts them."

"I'm not asking you to cut them out," Togame says, his voice full of impatience. "For now, Kaoru will be with you for visits, and I’ll need to know when you call them.”

You feel a wave of frustration rise up inside you at Togame's words. "But why?" you press, pulling your hand away from his. "I understand needing protection when I'm out, but monitoring my calls? Supervising visits with my own family? It feels excessive."

Togame becomes tense, his inexperience with insubordination now showing. "Because information is power in our world," he says laced with annoyance. "And right now, any information about you, about us, about Shishitoren, could be dangerous in the wrong hands."

You shake your head, feeling tears of frustration prick at your eyes. "But I wouldn't tell them anything sensitive! I don't even know anything sensitive!"

"It's not just about what you might tell them intentionally," Togame explains, his patience clearly wearing thin. "It's about what they might glean from casual conversation, from your behavior, from your proxy to other people.”

You stand up abruptly, unable to contain your frustration any longer. "So I'm just supposed to live in a bubble? Cut off from everyone I care about except you?"

Togame's eyes flash dangerously as he rises to his feet as well. "That's not what I'm saying," he says, his voice still controlled. "But you need to understand the gravity of the situation."

"I'm trying to!" you exclaim, your voice rising. "But I feel like I'm losing myself, like I'm just becoming an extension of you and Shishitoren."

Togame's jaw clenches tight, and his hands balling into fists at his sides. For a moment, you see a flicker of the dangerous man you know he can be, your body freezing in response, the air suddenly different in the room.

"You're not losing yourself." he says calmly though it's betrayed by his posture. "This is who you’ve always been. A princess surrounded by beasts." His words startled you. Your lips part, for a moment all you can think about is kissing him but push those feelings down- you needed to say everything on your mind. 

"But that's just it Togame," you say softly, "I don't know if this is who I want to be. Everything's happened so fast, and I feel like I'm drowning."

Togame's shifts slightly, he looks tired suddenly, but there's still an edge of frustration in his voice. "I understand this is a lot. But you made a choice when you came with me that day. You chose this life - chose me." You feel a wave of emotions wash over you at Togame's words. He's right - you did choose this, and him. But the reality of what that choice means is only now sinking in.

"I know," you say softly, your voice wavering. "And I don't regret that. But I didn't fully understand what I was choosing. All of this..." you gesture vaguely, "It's overwhelming."

Togame's face drops the frustrated edges, as he moves towards you pulling you against his body. "I know it is." he says, his voice and posture back to normal- drawing you closer.

You lean into Togame's embrace, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. His strong arms wrap around you, providing a sense of security that both comforts and confuses you. You're torn between the desire to lose yourself in his touch and the nagging doubts that won't leave your mind.

"I'm just so confused," you mumble against his chest. "Everything's changed so fast. I don't know who I am anymore."

Togame's hand comes up to stroke your hair gently. "You're still you." he says softly. "Just evolving, adapting to a new reality."

You pull back slightly to look up at him. "But what if I don't want this? What if it's too much?"

Togame's eyes search your face, his expression unreadable. "Is that how you feel? That this is too much?" His words make your body shake. This was the moment where he gave you a way out. Anything beyond this point had to be accepted for what it was. A choice. Your choice. 

Your lips parted as you stared up at him, your brain organizing thoughts, ideas, dreams, and fears faster than you could understand. His question hangs in the air between you, heavy with implications.

"I'm scared of losing myself in this world." you continue, your voice barely above a whisper. "Of becoming someone I don't recognize. But I'm also scared of losing you."

Togame's grip on your waist tightens slightly. "Won't lose me," he says calmly but his lips make a thin line. "Not unless you choose to walk away." This time your body stiffens. You know that was the inevitable truth but it stung like hell to hear. 

For a moment Togame disappears in front of you, it's you standing there coming to terms with what was about to come out of your mouth. The words sat on your tongue, you mind warning you this was it- there was no going back, no more whining, and no more crying. 

“Okay,” you start body struggling against the moment “I’m yours.”

Togame's eyes darken with intensity as he studies your face. "Say it again," he commands softly,his grip on your waist tightens further, almost to the point of discomfort.

You take a shaky breath, feeling the weight of your words. "I'm yours, Togame," you repeat, your voice stronger this time. "Completely."

A slow smile spreads across Togame's face, his eyes glittering with satisfaction. "There’s my girl." he murmurs, one hand coming up to cup your cheek. "That's what I wanted to hear."

His lips crash down on yours in a searing kiss, passionate and all consuming. You melt into him, all your doubts and fears fading away in the face of his overwhelming presence. His tongue demands entrance, which you eagerly grant, losing yourself in the taste and feel of him. His lips travel to your neck, teeth brushing against your skin. 

Togame's eyes are clouded with desire as he looks down at you, his thumb tracing your lower lip. "Say it again." he practically moans into your ear, making your knees weak. 

"Yours," you breathe, your body trembling with need. "I'm yours, Togame."

A low sound rumbles in his chest as he pulls you completely flush against him. You can feel the hard planes of his body, the evidence of his arousal pressing against you. His lips trail along your jaw to your ear, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine.

"Understand what that means?" he murmurs, his teeth grazing your earlobe. "Being mine?"

You swallow hard, your heart racing. "I hope so." you shiver against him, body aching to be touched more. It was all he needed to hear. His teeth find a tender spot, nearly healed before clamping down tight. A gasp leaves you as his teeth sink into your neck, sending jolts of pleasure through your body. Another sharp gasp escapes you, your fingers cling to his shoulders as his hands roughly roam over your curves.

"It means," he growls against your skin, "that you belong to me. Body and soul." His fingers tangle in your hair, tugging your head back to expose more of your throat. "It means you trust me to take care of you, to protect you." His lips trail down to your collarbone. "To give you what you need."

You tremble at his words, desire making every word seem like a love letter, the most devoted poetry. "Yes," you breathe. "I trust you, Togame.” you whimper out, overwhelmed by the intensity of his touch and the weight of your decision. There's no going back now - you've given yourself to him completely- and accepted it.

He pulls back slightly to look into your eyes, his gaze intense. "Good girl," he smiles. "Now, let me show you what it means to be mine."

Togame's hands slide down to grip your thighs, and in one fluid motion, he lifts you up. Instinctively, a yelp leaves your throat and you wrap your legs around his waist as he carries you across the room. Your back hits the wall, and Togame presses against you, pinning you in place around his hips.

His lips crash down on yours again in a consuming kiss that steals your breath away. You moan into his mouth, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pull him closer.

His hands press and squeeze all the flesh they can reach, leaving trails of heat in their wake. He breaks the kiss, his lips dragging along your jaw to your ear. "Tell me what you want." he demands, getting a soft moan in response- clearly enjoying how flustered you appeared. 

"You," you gasp out as his hips roll against you, your body pushing against the wall automatically, seeking him out. 

“Swear it.” He latches on your neck again, sucking your blood to the surface.

"I swear." you gasp again, overcome by the sensations flooding your body. "I want you, Togame. Only you." The words felt so easy now, so honest. For a split second you ponder the idea that lust might be clouding your judgement but it was pushed to a dark corner in your mind. 

A low growl rumbles in Togame's chest at your words. His teeth graze your neck as he speaks, his voice rough with desire. "Good girl. No more doubts, no more hesitation."

His hands slide under your shirt, calloused fingers tracing patterns on your bare skin. You shiver at his touch, arching into him. "Please." you whimper, not entirely sure what you're begging for.

Togame pulls back slightly, his eyes green drinking you in. In one swift motion, he pushes your shirt and bra up around your neck. You gasp at the sudden exposure, but any protest dies on your lips as Togame's mouth descends on your chest. You stare in awe as he pulls one of your nipples between his teeth, both hands holding your ass firm against the wall. He bites down hard, sending pain and pleasure through your body. You buck against him, struggling for agency. 

Togame groans against your skin, tightening his grip on your ass to hold you still. "Don't move unless I tell you to," he commands, squeezing your ass extra hard. You whimper but force yourself to stay still, even as his mouth and teeth continue their assault on your sensitive flesh. The mix of pleasure and pain is overwhelming, and you can feel yourself getting wetter by the second.

"Togame, please," you beg, no longer caring about pride or dignity. You just want him inside you, to claim every part of you as his own. Annoyingly his only response is a deep chuckle before he drops you to the ground. He extends to his full height for a moment, long enough to pull your top over your head and toss it to the floor. Wordless he kneels down on one leg, slowly sliding your skirt down your legs, panties going with it. For a brief moment you want to struggle, being completely naked while in your shoes was a very bizarre feeling. Togame's eyes rake over you hungrily, his gaze like a brand on your flushed skin.

"So beautiful," he whispers hoarsely “but I think it's time you learn a lesson. Learn to listen.” His other knee drops down leaving him in a full kneeling position right between your legs.

“Put your hands on the wall.” he breathes into your dripping pussy, not touching you. Your hands instantly find the wall, palms pressed flat against them. The warmth from his breathe alone makes you moan. 

“Don’t take them off.”

You nod, your breath catching in your throat as you watch Togame shift closer. His eyes are clouded with desire as he looks up at you, a wicked smile playing on his lips. "Remember," he says, his voice low and commanding, "Hands on the wall. No matter what."

You swallow hard and nod again, pressing your palms firmly against the cool surface behind you. Your entire body trembles with anticipation as Togame's hands slide up your thighs, spreading them wider.

Without warning, his tongue flicks out against your clit, sending a jolt of pleasure through your body. You gasp, your hips jerking involuntarily towards his mouth. Togame pulls back slightly, clicking his tongue in disapproval.

"Stay still," he warns, his breath hot against your sensitive flesh. "Or I'll stop."

You whimper but force yourself to remain motionless as Togame's mouth returns to your dripping heat. His tongue explores you slowly, teasingly, never quite giving you the pressure you crave. Your fingers flex against the wall, itching to tangle them in his hair and pull him closer. One of his hands roams up your legs side before grabbing a hand full of your ass, squeezing hard making you gasp, your hips jerking involuntarily.

"I said don't move," he scolds. His hand comes down hard on your inner thigh, the sharp sting making you yelp. Small tears form in your eyes, but the sudden sting from his slap was quickly overwhelmed by the desire to feel him dine on your body again. “I’m sorry” you rasp out, struggling to not move closer to his mouth. He hums back in response to your apology. 

“Let’s try this again.” Togame grins before diving back to his work. His mouth returns to your aching core, his tongue circling your clit with maddening slowness. You bite your lip hard, struggling to keep your hips from bucking against his face. The pleasure builds quickly inside you, a coiling tension that threatens to snap at any moment.

The room fills with your struggling pants, your chest falling up and down as the rest of your body begins to shake from the strain. His tongue continued to pull you along, daring you to move, promising a punishment for misbehavior. Your orgasm is hurling towards you, and judging by his smirk Togame was well aware of this fact- making it even harder to not move. 

“Togame, I can’t-” Your voice catches in your throat as he slides two fingers into your sensitive body. Your head hits the wall as a strangled moan erupts from your throat only to be cut off by his hand closing around your neck firmly. He quickly shifts to his full height before planting a firm kiss against your trembling lips, the taste of you still lingering on his mouth. 

“So bad at listening,” He teases then pulls you along by the throat, his fingers slipping out of your body. He backs up until his shoulders bump into the large glass windows. He stares at you for a long moment, thinking something over- smile growing wide as an idea sets in.

—POV Change - Togame’s POV—

What a fantastic fucking day so far. Togame stares down at his girl, she said so herself, drinking her in. Her proclamation has fueled a side of him that had been hidden deep. It is far beyond possessiveness - he’s enthralled with her.

He had offered her the opportunity to leave just to silence the crying, but it had been a dangerous gamble. The moment the words left his mouth he had already planned out how to dismantle Bofurin out of sheer spite. By the time she had reached the tunnel, he would have tore everything down, brick by brick. Not that he would ever voice such thoughts, but they were present all the same. It was his true self- the one that wouldn’t be denied, the one that kept Shishitoren functioning. It was the side of him that Hiragi likely was worried about, and Togame had to admit- with good reason. 

But she hadn’t left, no- she opened herself up to him completely, and he was happy to devour every inch. She was so radiant when bending for him, every inch of her preening in his hands. Her original tone had been one of resistance, which had worn his patience thin, but it was worth every second to see her like this- flushed, begging, willing, and devoted.

He is pleasantly surprised to see hair between her legs. In the past, some of his partners had been self-conscious and always shaved or waxed, which he found disappointing. Her natural state and inexperience added a delightful twist, making the pleasure of going down on her all the more enjoyable. The look on her face as she realizes what he’s doing, kneeling, is something that could fuel his cock for ages. Her skin is so pleasant under his fingers, as if every part of her was made just for him, perfect in every way.

“Put your hands against the window, and this time- behave.” He pulls her along, making them switch places on the glass of the large windows, but he has her facing the skyline, chest pressed tight against the glass. Her body shakes under his grip, clearly enjoying his fingers squeezing her lovely neck. He is surprised that she enjoys being handled so roughly but each time he has seen her arousal; her eyes dilating, lips parting, her thighs pressing together- she wasn’t subtle about her desire- and he fucking loves it.

She gasps when both of his hands shift, one now holding the back of her neck, and the other on the top of her ass, pressing her into the glass with more force. He gazes out the window, taking a moment to enjoy the scenery. He removes the hand from her neck and taps on the glass to the left of her head.

“You know, if you look that way- you can see Furin High.” It is a low blow, but she needs some reminders on who he is. She shutters against him, a whimper falling from her beautiful lips.

“Let’s show them you are mine.” His tongue runs along the back of her neck on the word mine, making her shake.

Her doll eyes widen as his meaning sinks in. "Togame, we can't-" she begs, but he cuts her off with a firm tug at the base of her skull. His lips hover just out of reach of her lips, denying an intimate connection- this is punishment after all.

"We can." he corrects. "I want everyone to know.” he finalizes before pressing his fully clothed body against her flushed skin. She lets a loud gasp upon making full body contact with the cold window and his body. He watches the goosebump travel along her skin, tracing them as they raise. He smiles while he plays with her skin, completely aware the window is tinted but what would be the fun in sharing. Her breath begins fogging the window as Togame presses her firmly against it. He thinks about drawing a heart in the fog but quickly forgets about the idea as she whines. 

"Please," she whimpers, for a moment he is unsure if she is begging him to stop or continue. He tests the entrance of her soft pussy, ghosting his fingers over her lips. He is pleased to find his fingers are immediately wet as her body trembles.

Togame's low chuckle sends vibrations through her body. "Shh," he soothes, his lips grazing her ear. "You're doing so well for me."

His hands continue to map her skin. He notes every blemish, scar, the dimples he wondered if she even knew about on her backside, every small detail memorized. She lets out a loud gasp as he cups her breasts, kneading them firmly before pinching each nipple.

"That's it," he moans out, grinding his hard cock against the bottom of her ass. "Show me how much you want this." he demands but she only responds with moans and an arched back. For a moment he thinks about slapping her ass, extra hard, he wants her to speak- but he holds off on hard punishments. While he was 99% certain her pussy would drip from that interaction, the 1% made him pause. He needs to know how much pain she enjoyed before taking it that far.

“A moan is not an answer.” He warns, plunging two fingers into her pussy without warning. Her head flies back, nearly smacking him in the face but her hands stay in place so he forgives the sudden headbutt attempt. Her mouth opens wide, struggling to speak without moaning. His fingers curl inside her, searching for her g-spot. When he finds the area textured differently he applies excessive pressure on the spot. He watches in delight as her body clamps around him, her mouth falling open again- struggling to take in air. 

"I want... I want you inside me." She finally spits out after another firm press against her g-spot. Togame's free hand slides up her body to grip her throat, applying just enough pressure to make her breath hitch.

“Is that so?” He inquires playfully. Her pussy clenches around his fingers in response, a moan escaping her lips. He desperately wanted to fuck her against the window, then watch come drip down her back and ass, but he didn’t have a condom on hand. He considered the risks, but in the end decided against fucking without protection. He was not ready to even have the conversation about using the word girlfriend much less her getting pregnant.

"Then beg for it," Togame demanded, his fingers still digging deep inside her. "Convince me you deserve my cock."

She whimpers, pressing her forehead against the cool glass. Her skin was flushed red everywhere his hands had touched, her desires on full display. But it wasn’t enough, he wanted to hear her speak. He wanted her to remind herself over and over again that she wanted this, wanted him. It was reasonable to be scared of his world, smart even, but he wouldn’t suffer the argument from before every time she got scared.

"Please," she whispered, ass pressing out against his hand. "I need you inside me, Togame-sama." The honorific made him pause for a second, his brain resetting at the sudden use. He liked the way it sounded on her lips, though he had never heard it used in this context before. His fingers curl up with a firm press against her g-spot, which got him a loud cry from her swollen lips. "Louder," he commands. "I want to hear how desperate you are for me."

"Please, fuck me!" tears build in her water line as she cries out, abandoning all pretense of dignity. "I'll do anything, just please, I need to feel you..."

Togame lets out a soft moan. "So beautiful," he says absentmindedly, placing a kiss on the back of her shoulder. His free hand adjusts his clothing, his cock straining against his boxers. He can tell by the way she stiffened she was completely ready for him to take her. But he inhales deeply, lungs fully expanding, pulling on his own reigns to avoid any bad choices. Instead of his cock, he pushed 3 of his fingers into her swollen pussy. She bucked against him, clearly overwhelmed with the feeling of being stretched that far.

“Not yet,” he pushes in hard, shifting her entire body against the glass with his hand alone. She gasps, stutters, her body struggling against the glass. It looked like her body was fighting to adjust and complain at the same time- it was a lovely sight. “Why?” was all she managed to choke out, moaning at the end of her question.

“No condom with me.” He offered before pulling nearly all the way out and thrusting back in, making sure to graze her sensitive nerves. Sweat began to form on the back of her neck which he gladly laps up. His fingers work her hard, thrusting against her soft insides without mercy. In this moment he struggled, he wanted her to feel only pleasure but the sight of her body struggling to accommodate him was intoxicating. Her fingers curled against the glass searching for some kind of grip which he couldn’t tolerate.

“Keep your hands flat.” He reminded her with an extra hard thrust. She let out a choked moan that nearly made him come in his pants. He would do anything to hear that sound again. With an experimental shift he moved a hand from her hip to the front of her body. He was a bit hunched over but it was worth the back ache. Once he found her clit he pushed his fingers in again, with the same force as before. Her scream was deliciously loud. Togame smiles at her head falling back against his shoulder, her arms stretching out to accommodate her back arching- she looked divine. Her palms stayed against the glass somehow, to his dismay, so he couldn’t punish her this time. Her moans were becoming closer together, chest bobbing up and down in a tantalizing way, he would give a lot to have two more sets of hands at this moment. 

“So close already?” He teases, continuing the ruthless pace. She struggled to respond, all that came out of her mouth was English and Japanese babbling. He honestly found it super cute, even if the English threw him off a beat.

“You sound amazing.” He praises before kissing the skin on her shoulders again. In between each thrust he bites down on her skin, leaving a trail of bright red teeth imprints on her back, neck, and shoulders. He wanted every part of her marked, drenched in reminders of him.

"It feels so good," she pants out. "Please don't stop." she begs pushing her hips down for more friction. His eyes snap shut for a minute soaking in the sound of her voice. How he wishes to bury his cock inside her, to hear these sounds while feeling her around him- he wouldn’t get caught without a condom ever again.

He slowed each stroke down slightly but made sure to press harder. He watches with great intrigue as her body presses down each time he thrusts up even though her heels lifted off the ground. He wasn’t entirely sure she was aware how much she liked pain. His thoughts get pushed away by a particularly hard clamp around his fingers, she was so close. His lips spread wide with a huge smirk. He wonders if she could keep her palms flat as she comes undone around his fingers. Devilishly, he rubs his thumb against her clit hard. "Come for me.” he groans into her ear.

That was all it took. Her body snaps against him, palms flying off the widow and she sought out something to grip. She finds the back of his head with one hand and the other squeezes his bicep as she screams out. Her pants were closer to coughs than moans as she struggled through his continued pumping. He bit his lip, the pressure of her full body weight on him was making him dizzy with pleasure. She had always worked so hard to not fully lean on him and now she was letting him take it all without protest. If he could keep her trapped in this position for hours he could finally die a happy man. 

However he couldn’t ignore his growing desire any longer. As her shaking slows down, he extracts his fingers from her pussy, grateful they were completely soaked with her juices. He licks all three fingers clean in front of her face which was still resting on his shoulder. He moans quietly as the last finger leaves his mouth with a pop. The look on her face was amazing. Her pupils were blown wide, lips parted with shallow breathing, throat bobbing from quick swallows.

"Can I suck on your cock?" She whispers out sounding shy, nearly breaking his brain. As if it was even possible for him to say no to such an offer. He nods, unable to speak for a moment. She adjusts her stance so she is no longer resting against him, much to his dismay.

“Do you want to sit on the couch?” She offers. It looked like she was blushing to him, but it was hard to tell, her skin was still flushed from her orgasm. He smiles then pulls her back into him. One hand cups the back of her neck while the other holds her waist so she couldn’t escape his kiss. He wanted to drink her in, savor the moment of her warm body against him- even if he was clothed and she wasn't. For a second he wonders about keeping her trapped in here, naked, waiting for him with a wet pussy. The mental image was incredible but he internally scowled at himself, she wasn’t an object or pet- he knew that. Right?

Slowly his feet carry them backwards toward the couch until his calves hit the plush fabric. He tips backwards so they both fall at the same time. A groan leaves his throat as she lands on top of him. She fumbles to hold her body off of him- which earns her a frown. How he hated that habit of hers. With a quick twist of her wrist directed by his hand, she topples onto him with a squeak.

“Lean on me.” he says, his voice is laced with playfulness but rings out a demand. She nods still unsure, but allows her body to sink down against him even if she was in an awkward position. “Good. Now, where were we?” he muses, tapping a finger to his chin.

She blushes deeply before bringing a hand to his clothed cock. “Here I think-” she trails off, her fingers tracing the bulge in his pants. His hands came up to grip the couch cushions behind them, her touch alone was nearly enough to make him explode. His jaw tightens as her fingers work the band of his jeans, seeking help. He grunts, popping open his button and zipper with practiced ease. With a quick hip-lift both his boxers, and pants were around his ankles. 

He pauses as she stares at his cock, looking shocked. She bites her lips as her brows furrow. It was a look he had seen before so it didn’t worry him as she remains still- working out if he would fit. His bottom lip achs as he clamps down on it, holding in a laugh as she slowly moves towards him- still looking shocked, even a bit worried. 

Togmae watches as she hesitantly lowers her head, her warm breath ghosting over his aching cock. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips, and he can't help the low groan escape at the sight. She glances up at him through her lashes, seeking reassurance.

"Go on," he encourages, voice rough with desire. "Show me what that pretty mouth can do."

She nods, determination flashing in her eyes as she wraps her fingers around the base of his throbbing length. Her touch is tentative at first, exploring, and he fights the urge to buck his hips into her face. He wants to savor this, to commit everything she does to memory. It was clear she didn’t have personal experience but understood enough to not ask him questions. 

When her lips finally close around the tip of his cock, his fingers fist into balls to avoid thrusting hard into her mouth. The wet heat enveloping him is exquisite, and he watches through hazy eyes as she slowly takes more of him in. He wonders if she would let him take a picture of the scene but didn’t want to spoil her first time with such a filthy request, next time though- he’d ask. 

"Perfect," he offers up knowing she loves praise, she preens against his hand that stretches out to touch her hair. Her pace shifts as she sucks harder, not that he minded but coming fast was not his plan.

"Take your time." he murmurs, fingers gently stroking her scalp. "I want to watch you explore."

She nods, mouth still around his cock, her eyes watching his movements. Her touch is light, almost reverent as she strokes him from the base of his cock to her lips. After a few strokes she comes up for air, wiping away drool from her chin. A bead of precum forms on the head and she leans in, licking it away with a tentative swipe of her tongue.

Togame hisses through his teeth, hips jerking involuntarily. "Fuck," he grunts, grip tightening in her hair causing her to whine.

Encouraged by his reaction, she grows bolder. Her lips part, taking just the head into her mouth. She sucks gently, tongue swirling around the sensitive tip. Togame's head falls back against the couch, and a low moan rolls around his chest.

"So good." he praises with another low moan. She hums in response, the vibrations sending sparks of pleasure through him. Slowly, she takes more of him in, hollowing her cheeks as she sucks. Her inexperience becomes more apparent as her teeth scrape against the sides of his cock, but couldn’t care less- she was amazing.

Togame forces his eyes to stay open, not wanting to miss a moment of her efforts. Her lips are stretched wide around his cock, cheeks flushed, eyes closed in concentration - the coil inside him nearly snaps as she moans around him. He grits his teeth, fighting for control.

"Look at me," he commands softly. When she meets his gaze, eyes hazy with lust, he nearly loses it. "Fuck, you're beautiful like this."

She moans around him again, pushing him closer to the edge. Her head bobs deeply, taking him deep inside her mouth, his tip hitting the back of her throat. He was genuinely impressed when she didn’t gag. Wanting to test her, his hips begin to move on their own accord, shallow thrusts meet her willing mouth.

"That's it, just like that." he moans, guiding her movements with the hand in her hair. "Such a good girl for me."

Her eyes flutter closed again as she focuses on pleasing him. One hand working what she can't fit in her mouth while the other grips his thigh for balance. Togame can feel the pressure hit its limit, his release imminent.

"I'm close." he warns, giving her a chance to pull away. But she only redoubles her efforts, sucking harder, and faster. With a strangled groan, Togame comes hard, spilling down her throat. She swallows as much as she can, though some escapes- dribbling down her chin. He watches through half-lidded eyes as she continues to work his length, swallowing from time to time. He was overcome with emotions, mainly lust, at the sight of her radiance. She was glowing with pride after achieving her first victory, though she would find out real soon- wars are more than one victory.

She pulls off him with a wet pop, stroking his slick cock with her hand while talking. "That was really hot." she says, sounding breathless.

Togame's chest heaves as he comes down from his high, gazing at her with unfocused eyes. A lazy smirk spreads across his face as he reaches out to wipe a stray drop of cum from her chin with his thumb.

"Mmmhmm” he starts “You're a natural," the praise is small but her pupils go wide regardless. He brings his thumb to her lips, watching intently as she takes it into her mouth, sucking it clean. A low groan escapes him at the sight. She would be his ruin, he was absolutely sure of it now. 

"Come here," he orders, pulling her up onto his lap. She straddles him, her bare breasts pressed against his clothed chest. His hands roam her body, because he would never get enough. He captures her lips in a searing kiss, tasting himself on her tongue. His cock twitches, bumping into the edge of her warm pussy. He groans into the kiss, his mind running circles on why fucking raw was good or bad.

When they break apart, both panting, he rests his forehead against hers. "You're mine now," he murmurs, his tone leaving no room for argument. "Do you understand?"

She nods, her chest rising and falling fast, her body clearly affected by his possessive words. "Yes." she whispers.

"Say it again," he demands, his own skin now flushed.

"I'm yours." she repeats, louder this time. Her eyes lock with his, filled with a mix of desire and yearning. A predatory grin spreads across his face. "Good girl," he praises, one hand sliding up her back. He grips the back of her neck, a gesture he was partially fond of using on her. 

"Never forget it." He pulls her in for another kiss, this one slower, deeper. His other hand plays with her lower back before pressing in, making her arch into him. She whimpers against his lips as his other fingers find her still-sensitive clit, still deliciously wet for him. A quiet moan barely reaches his ear as her eyes flutter closed for a moment. Maybe she would give him a recording of her moaning. The thought made his dick twitch. 

"On a side note," Togame murmurs against her skin as he begins to work her up again. "You took your hands off the glass- without permission." She pulls back, staring at him confused,he watches as she replays getting finger fucked in her mind, her mouth forming a small ‘o’ shape upon realizing he was right.

“But, since you did such a good job, I’ll make you an offer.” He pauses watching her tense up, her thighs squeezing together. “Either we stop for now and go get food, or you bend over on my lap, and we find out how much pain you like- then go get food.”

Her eyes widen at the proposition, a nervousness look flickering across her face. He is well aware she liked pain, but had a sinking suspicion she didn’t know the limits- which meant he didn't. His hunger grows in more ways than one as he slides his fingers along her pussy, waiting for a response. 

"I..." she starts, voice barely above a whisper. "I want to stay here with you." What a wonderful girl he had, always so eager to please- to learn. 

Togame's lips curl into a satisfied smirk. "Good choice," he hums, his free hand sliding up to cup her right cheek. "Now, over my lap."

She hesitates for just a moment before complying, positioning herself across his thighs. Her breath catches as his palm runs over the curve of her ass, alternating between gentle caresses and firm squeezes.

"Remember," he says, voice low and commanding, "Tell me to stop if something is too much. Also I expect you to count each one. Understood?"

She nods, then quickly adds, "Yes Togame, I understand." his hand pauses for a moment then pulls back fast. 

The first strike catches her off guard, a sharp crack echoing through the room. The look on her face shows she was more surprised than in pain. "O-one," she manages to stutter out, sounding embarrassed.

Togame hums approvingly, rubbing the reddening skin. "Good girl. Let's see how many you can take."

The next few come in quick succession, alternating cheeks. She counts obediently, her voice growing breathier with each impact. By the tenth strike, she's squirming in his lap, body torn between pressing into the pain and shying away from it.

"You're doing so well," Togame praises, pausing to admire his handiwork. Her ass is a beautiful shade of pink, and warm to the touch. He can feel her wetness against his thigh and hand, evidence of her arousal. "Do you want more?"

"Please." she whimpers, pushing her hips back in invitation.

Togame chuckles darkly. "So greedy." His hand comes down harder this time, pulling a cry from her lips. "Don't forget to count."

"Eleven!" she gasps out, fingers clawing into the couch cushions.

He continues, each strike carefully measured. He watches her reactions closely, noting how she tenses and relaxes, the pitch of her cries, the way her thighs tremble. By the time they reach twenty, she's a writhing mess in his lap, panting, drooling, and moaning with each impact.

"Last one," Togame announces, his own voice rough with desire. "Let’s make it count."

The final strike is the hardest yet, right at the curve where her ass meets her thighs. She cries out, back arching beautifully. "Twenty-one!" her voice wobbles, a sniff punctuating the end of her sentence. Togame immediately gathers her into his arms, peppering her face with gentle kisses as she comes undone with soft moaning sobs. 

"Shh, you did so well," Togame murmurs, stroking her hair as she trembles against him. Her skin is flushed and hot to the touch, a fine sheen of sweat glistening in the dim light. He can feel her heart racing, her breaths coming in short gasps.

"How do you feel?" he asks, voice low and soothing. His hands run gentle circles over her back, careful to avoid her tender backside.

She takes a shaky breath before responding. "I feel amazing," she admits, a hint of wonder in her voice. "I didn't know it could be like that."

Togame chuckles softly, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "There's so much to show you." he promises. His cock throbbing at the thought of all things she might like, still aching for her despite his earlier release. She shifts in his lap, gasping as the movement sends a jolt of pain through her sensitive flesh. 

"Togame," she whimpers, grinding against him instinctively. "Please, I need..."

"What do you need?" he questions, one hand sliding between her thighs to find her dripping wet pussy. "Tell me."

"You," she moans, rocking against his fingers. "I need you inside me. Please."

Togame groans, torn between his burning desire and practicality. "We still don't have protection," he reminds her, though his resolve is weakening by the second. She looks up at him, eyes wide and pleading. "I'm on birth control," she confesses. "Please, Togame. I want to feel all of you."

That's all it takes for his control to snap. In one fluid motion, he lifts her body up with ease and positions her over his throbbing cock. "Are you sure?" he asks, giving her one last chance to back out.

"Yes," she breathes, sinking down onto him with a low moan. Togame's head falls back, overwhelmed by the sensation of her tight heat enveloping him. His mind goes  white, completely overrun by the feeling of her body on his, and her warm pussy taking him in so easily, so willingly. 

"Fuck," he grunts, hands gripping her hips hard enough to bruise. "You feel incredible." She moans wildly, but stills her body- adjusting to the stretch of him inside her. He didn’t move but his fingers wouldn’t stop flexing, digging into her flesh. It had felt like hours, but slowly, she began to move, rising up slowly before sinking back down. Togame didn’t want her to burn out so he moved his hands to the bottom of her tender ass, guiding her movements with slight pressure, helping to set a steady rhythm for the both of them. 

"That's it," he encourages, voice completely strained. "Take what you need."

Her pace quickens suddenly, driven by her own desperate need for release. Togame meets her thrust for thrust, the sound of skin on skin filling the room. He watches in awe as she loses herself in the sensation, head thrown back, lips shouting in ecstasy.

"You're so beautiful like this," he murmurs, one hand coming up to cup her breast. He rolls her nipple between his fingers, drawing a sharp gasp from her.

"Togame," she moans, her movements becoming more erratic as she chases her release. "I'm so close."

"Come for me," Togame demands, his hips snapping up to meet hers. "Let me feel you fall apart." Her body tenses, inner walls clenching around him as she cries out his name in a long repeating string. The sight of her coming undone pushes Togame over the edge as well, and he follows her with a deep groan, spilling inside her. There is a moment of panic about getting  her pregnant as he feels his come leaking out of her, and down his cock. But she breaks his thoughts apart as she moans again, still slowly thrusting down, riding her orgasm as long as possible. She was so much trouble for him. 

They stay interlocked for a moment, both panting heavily as they come down from their high. Togame's hands roam her body, soothing the tremors that still run through her. He couldn't help pressing soft kisses to her collarbone, her neck, her jaw.

"You're amazing," he murmurs against her skin. "Absolutely perfect." He laps up a patch of her skin, enjoying the taste of her exertion. 

She hums contentedly, nuzzling into his neck, completely spent. "That was...incredible" she breathes, still a bit dazed.

Togame chuckles, weaving his fingers into her hair. "Your skin is such a lovely color when you come," he comments, a wicked glint in his eye. "Wonder if I could keep you that shade for a full day."

She shivers at his words, displaying her nervousness but nevertheless red flashing across her cheeks giving him the impression she liked the idea. "I’d like you to try sometime." she admits shyly.

They stay tangled together for a while longer, exchanging lazy kisses and gentle caresses. Eventually, Togame shifts, carefully lifting her off his lap. She winces letting out a low moan as he pulls out of her body, his cock still fairly hard. 

“How are you still hard?” She balks, distress taking over her features. He pauses for a second, looking down at his cock. It was certainly still firm but not in the way she thought- his stamina kept him hard, but he wasn’t on the verge of exploding anymore. “We would be here all day if the goal was to make me soft when you're naked.” He laughs at the funny face she makes in return, clearly confused and slightly horrified. 

"Let's get you cleaned up," he offers, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Then we'll go get food. You must be starving by now."

She nods, allowing him to help her to her feet. As they make their way to the bathroom, Togame can't help but feel a surge of possessiveness. She's his now, completely and utterly. While he was not one to care about women being virgins this felt a bit different. He was ecstatic to know no one else had ever made her full body blush like that, her lips had never begged anyone else like that. He groans inwardly- becoming fully hard again. 

They step into the luxurious bathroom attached to the lounge, which she marvels at for a few moments. Togame guides her to the large glass shower. He turns on the water, adjusting the temperature to a soothing warmth. As steam begins to fill the room, he extends a hand to help her step into the spray, following close behind. She hisses softly as the warm spray hits her tender skin.

"Too hot?" he asks quickly, feeling the water again with his hands to check if he messed up the temperature.

She shakes her head. "No, it's perfect. Just...sensitive." Togame smirks, running his hands over her slick skin. "I bet." He reaches for a bottle of body wash, pouring some into his palm before beginning to lather her body. His touch is gentle yet thorough, paying special attention to her sore areas.

As he works, he can't help but admire the marks he's left on her - the light bruises forming on her hips, the redness of her ass, the love bites scattered across her neck and back. Each one is a reminder of their passion, of her submission to him.

"Turn around," he instructs gently. She complies without protest, allowing him access to her front. His fingers work out the tension in her muscles, drawing soft moans from her lips. His touch is reverent, almost worshipful as he tends to her.

"You're so responsive," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. "I love how your body reacts to my touch." Slowly, he continues his ministrations, cleaning away the evidence of their lovemaking. His fingers ghost over her still-sensitive folds, drawing a shaky moan from her lips. He fights the urge to take her again right there, reminding himself that she needs time to recover.

They finish washing up, Togame taking care to be gentle with her oversensitive body. He is first out, helping her step over the lip of the shower and into a fluffy towel, he can't help but marvel at how natural this feels - as if she's always belonged here with him. He quickly wraps a towel around himself before squeezing excess water from his hair.

"Let's get you dressed," he says, leading her back to the bedroom. "We need to get some food in you soon." He thought back the moment he fed her dessert, how cute she looked with lips parted, waiting for him to feed her. He thinks over when they will go back to that restaurant, knowing they had a new dessert for her to try. 

She nods, following him back to where her clothes had been discarded. “I’ll put my underwear in my purse,” He pauses, looking at her in confusion. “They are soaked…it will be cold to put them back on.” She offers up, he completely forgot about that, his own underwear filled with precum. He makes a mental note to start stashing a change of clothes in places they might have fun. The lounge was only meant for hanging out and lacked anything personal of his.

"Good thinking," Togame nods approvingly. He watches as she gathers her damp undergarments, admiring the way she moves with a slight wince. A possessive thrill runs through him, knowing he's the cause of her delicious discomfort.

As she bends to retrieve her clothes, Togame steps behind her, running a hand down her spine. "Are you sure you want to put them back on?" he asks, voice low and teasing. "I quite like you like this."

She shivers at his touch, turning to face him with a shy smile. "As tempting as that sounds, I don't think I'm ready to face the world naked just yet." Togame chuckles, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Fair enough."

Her cheeks flush at his words as she slips her clothes back on. Togame helps her smooth her shirt, his hands lingering on her hips. "Beautiful." he murmurs, eyes raking over her form. She lets out a low laugh while pushing him away. “You are too much.” she laughs out. He smiles wide, but doesn’t speak his thoughts. She had no fucking idea how much he really was, but she would learn.

After they both finish dressing, Togame watches how she winces slightly with each movement. A touch of guilt washed over him. It was becoming more clear that she did not know her limits, even if she liked it, he didn’t want her in constant pain. Not to mention if they ran into Hiragi, he would likely be forced into a deathmatch no matter how willing she was. 

"Are you alright?" he asks, concern evident in his voice. She quickly nods, offering him a reassuring smile. "I'm fine, just a little sore. It's a good kind of sore. I like it." she adds, blushing deeply.

Togame's lips curl into a satisfied smirk. "Glad to hear it." He pulls her close, nuzzling into her neck. "but let's slow down on the pain."

She melts into his embrace, inhaling his scent. "Only a little." she murmurs. He takes a moment to breathe her in, enjoying what a lovely- kinky creature she was. Even now her thighs were pressing together, knees tilted in like she was distracted- he badly wanted to get back on his knees and eat her out again. 

He reluctantly pulls away. "Come on," he says, tiling her chin up with one finger. "Let's get you fed. Can't have you fainting on me." as if on queue her stomach growls making him stifle a laugh as she rambles about only having coffee for breakfast and lunch. 

Togame chuckles at her rambling, finding her embarrassment endearing. "Well, we can't have that. Let's get you a proper meal." He takes her hand, leading her towards the door. As they exit the lounge, he notices her slightly unsteady gait, and slows his pace to match hers.

They make their way through the winding corridors of the Shishitoren complex, slowly reaching the exit. Togame nods curtly to the few higher ranked members as they pass, his arm wrapped loosely around her waist. He can feel the curious glances, the raised eyebrows, but he pays them no mind. Let them look, let them wonder. She's his now, and he wants everyone to know it. She shrinks under the attention, pressing closer to his side which he found himself enjoying immensely.

As they approach the entrance, Togame pauses. "Any preferences for food?" he asks, fishing his car keys from his pocket.

She bites her lip, considering. "Maybe something light? I'm not sure I could handle anything too heavy right now."

Togame nods, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. "I know just the place." Only a few paces outside the door is the same black car Kaoru tried to get her in before. He opens the passenger door for her, helping her inside slowly before rounding to the driver's side.

As they pull out onto the street, Togame rests his hand on her thigh, fingers tracing lazy patterns on her skin. He can feel the slight tremor in her muscles with each stroke, a cheeky reminder of how sensitive she was. His cock twitches at the memory, and he has to force himself to focus on the road.

"So," he begins, voice casual, "Tell me what type of birth control you are on." He glances at her, gauging her reaction. "Because I am not interested in having children right now."

She shifts in her seat, obviously surprised by the sudden question. "Oh, um, it's an IUD. It's supposed to be over 99% effective."

Togame hums approvingly. "Good to know." His hand squeezes her thigh gently. “Just needed to make sure.” he finishes.

"Yeah, I understand. I also don’t want children right now.” She mirrors back, but she pauses a sly smile spreading across her lips. “Although, I really like the feeling of you coming inside me." Her voice drops to a whisper, as if sharing a secret.

Togame's grip on the steering wheel tightens, his imagination running wild with the implications of her words. "Well," he says, voice cracking slightly “there is plenty more where that came from." He nearly pulled over to ask for a blow job but quickly pushed it down upon hearing her stomach growl again.

She presses buttons on the radio console until her phone connects to the car's bluetooth. While he normally drove it in silence he was intrigued by what kind of music she listened too. As she scrolled through her music library, Togame watched her from the corner of his eye, debating what genre she would pick. A soft melody filled the car as she selected a song, the gentle strumming of an acoustic guitar accompanied by a woman's soulful voice.

"I didn't peg you for the indie type," Togame comments, pleasantly surprised.

She smiles proudly. "There's a lot you don't know about me yet."

"I look forward to learning," he replies, his hand squeezing her thigh again.

The rolls on for approximately 15 minutes, the city slipping by as the music provides a soothing backdrop. Togame found himself tapping his fingers on the steering wheel in time with the rhythm. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so relaxed- it almost made him feel nervous. Things were never this easy, or relaxing.

The car rolls to a slow stop in front of an unassuming restaurant, Togame turns to her. "This place has the best udon in the city. Should be light but still filling." Her eyes lit up at the word udon. "That sounds perfect." He pulls into a spot on the side street kept empty for him. 

He helps her out of the car, noticing how she winces slightly as she stands. He chastised himself internally, perhaps she enjoyed everything, but he needed to set harder limits unless she was going to be resting in his bed all day.

She looked up at him with big eyes and a pouty lip. "I'm fine, really!”

Togame chuckles, wrapping an arm around her waist as they walk towards the restaurant’s plain white door. "Okay, just let me know if it gets to be too much." he says while pushing the door open then letting her in first. 

Togame's eyes landed on Naoki, the owner. The two of them had a good bond. Naoki had reached out to Togame about his son - who had been lost in the world of drugs, and KEEL. With some carefully placed punches, warnings, and some cash for rehab- Naoki had gotten his son back and Togame received a lifetime supply of udon. It had been too good an offer to let slip by.

"Togame-sama, welcome! Your usual table?" Naoki's voice boomed over the other patrons.

"Yes, thank you." Togame replied with a nod, a genuine smile on his face.

They were led to a secluded booth in the back, away from prying eyes. Togame helps her slide into the booth before taking the chair opposite her. He couldn't help but notice how she fidgeted, trying to find a comfortable position. She finally settles once his knees flush up against hers under the small table.

"So," he began, once she looked comfortable, "tell me more about yourself. What do you like to do when you're not getting into trouble?"

She laughs, the sound light and musical to his ears. "Well, I'm actually quite boring most of the time. I like to read, watch movies, and back home I would grow plants! I miss my plants."

As she spoke, Togame found himself captivated. He leans forward, drinking in every word, every gesture. He wanted to know everything about her, to unravel the mystery that she now presented. Their pace had been a bit off, full of passion before they knew  anything about each other, but he was happy to make up for it. 

Their conversation continued easily after they ordered their food. Togame was honestly surprised at how effortless it felt to listen to her talk for this long. Normally he got bored quickly when girls talked about their interests, especially about hair care but he found himself making note of the fact she couldn’t get her favorites in Japan. That was something he could easily help with, there wasn’t much money couldn’t find in Japan. 

When their steaming bowls of udon arrive, Togame watches with amusement as she inhales the aroma, her eyes closing in bliss.

"This smells amazing," she sighed.

"Wait until you taste it," Togame smirked, picking up his chopsticks.

Immediately upon taking her first bite her eyes go wide with delight. "Oh my god, this is incredible," she moans, the sound sending a jolt of heat through Togame's body. He watches, entranced, as she savors each mouthful.

"I told you," he says smugly, digging into his own bowl to avoid getting hard again. They eat in comfortable silence for a while, the only sounds are their appreciative hums and the soft clink of chopsticks against bowls.

Halfway through the meal, Togame notices her shifting uncomfortably again. Without a word, he stands and slides into the booth beside her, pulling her legs close to him, hand rubbing her lower thigh. He tracing x’s and o’s into her leg, trying to stimulate her leg skin to distract her from her sore bottom. 

"Better?" he asks softly. She nods, leaning into him more as she continues to eat. The closeness is intoxicating, how was he supposed to control himself all the time? A small part of him hopes the need to touch her constantly will slowly fade so he didn’t feel or act love drunk all the time. 

Once their meal is finished Togame leans back, relaxing into the moment- his hand still drawing on her skin. Was this domestic life? Just enjoying a meal with someone he cares about, no ulterior motives, no business to discuss. Something in his gut twists uncomfortably, a warning to not get complacent. Domestic life was not meant for the likes of him, no matter how much he wanted to give it to her. 

"Thank you for this," she says quietly, setting down her chopsticks. "Not just the food, but... everything."

Togame turns to her, cupping her cheek gently. "Don't need to thank me." he murmurs, leaning in to brush his lips against hers. It's a chaste kiss, soft and sweet, but it leaves him wanting more.

As he pulls away, he notices Naoki approaching their table. "Was everything to your liking, Togame-sama?" the owner asks, his eyes flickering curiously to the woman in Togame's arms. While he knew their position was far too intimate for the public he was positive Naoki of all people would not say anything.  

"As always, Naoki-san," Togame replies with a nod. "Your udon is unparalleled."

Naoki beams with pride before turning his attention to Togame's obsession. "And you, miss? Did you enjoy your meal?"

She smiles warmly. "It was absolutely delicious. I've never had udon this good before."

Naoki's smile widens. "Ah, music to an old man's ears! Please, you must come again. Any friend of Togame-sama is always welcome here."

Naoki bustles away leaving a new question in the air, Togame can't help but feel uneasy. Friend doesn't begin to cover what she is to him now, but they hadn’t fully discussed what to call each other. He takes a sip of his tea, giving himself a moment to think.

“Are we dating?” She asks before he could get the chance to swallow. His body stilled, muscles struggling to relax enough to set his tea down. 

“Yes.” Not his most graceful admission but it seems to make her smile regardless. “So, I am your girlfriend?” She asks with a huge smile, never letting him rest. His stomach coils tight with dread. It wasn’t like he didn’t want that, he just never had a girlfriend before. He had spent his early years being a loner, then quickly joined Shishitoren in adulthood- full relationships seemed too complicated for his life. 

His fingers flexed, easing up on the cup. “Yes. You are my girlfriend.” He says with no enthusiasm to be heard. 

“Are you okay with that?” She shifted a bit, mind and body pulling away from him. He stared at her for a moment, struggling to find the right words. Of course he was, it just scared him a bit. 

“Yes,” he pauses, setting the cup down with a sigh. “It's just new for me.” Her eyes go wide at his admission. "Oh, I didn't realize... Is this your first serious relationship?" Togame nods, feeling uncharacteristically vulnerable.

"My life hasn't exactly been conducive to long-term commitments," he says, a wry smile tugging at his lips. "But with you... I want to try."

She reaches out, intertwining her fingers with his. "I'm honored," she says softly. "And a little nervous, to be honest. I don't have much experience either."

Togame squeezes her hand back. "We'll figure it out." he assures her, bringing her hand to his lips for a soft kiss. The gesture feels both foreign and natural at the same time, his gut still twisting slightly. 

A comfortable silence falls between them as they process this new development in their relationship. Togame finds himself both thrilled and terrified by the prospect of being someone's boyfriend. It's a role he never imagined himself in, yet with her, it feels right.

"So," she says after a moment, a playful glint in her eye. "Does this mean I get to call you 'honey' or "‘babe’ in public?"

Togame chuckles, shaking his head. "Don't push your luck," he warns teasingly. "I still have a reputation to maintain."

She laughs, the sound warming him from the inside out. "Fair enough, Togame-sama," she says, emphasizing the honorific with a wink.

The table gets cleared by the helpful Naoki, while Togame helps her to her feet. He takes a moment to pull her close and place a small kiss on her lips. She pulls back, lashes fluttering in surprise at his public display. 

"Where to now?" she asks gently, the real question “Can we stay together a bit longer?” Clear as day for him.

Togame considers for a moment. Part of him wants to take her back to his place, to spend the rest of the night exploring every inch of her body. But he also knows she needs rest, time to recover from their earlier activities, and the mental jumps they took today. 

"How about a city drive?" he suggests. She enthusiastically nods back. "That sounds perfect." He leads her back to the car, holding her hand as she settles back into the passenger seat. He enters his side just as her fingers hover over the radio, waiting to snag the bluetooth again- which makes him chuckle.

He pulls out onto the street while taking her hand, intertwining their fingers. The gentle melody from her playlist fills the car once again, creating a soothing atmosphere. The city lights blur past them as they drive, neither feeling the need to break the comfortable silence.

Togame steals glances at her profile, admiring the way the passing streetlights illuminate her features. She looks relaxed, and content. A small smile playing at her lips as she hums along to the music. He feels a warmth spreading through his chest, a feeling he's not ready to name yet.

They drive for a while, winding through the city streets. Togame takes them past some of his favorite spots - a hidden park with a stunning view of the skyline, a small bridge over a canal that's particularly beautiful at night. He points out each location, sharing little snippets of how he found them.

A brightly lit amusement park pulls into view making her eyes light up. "Oh, I love ferris wheels!" she says wistfully.

"We'll have to go soon, before its cold." he says, squeezing her hand gently. "I bet the view from the top is amazing."

She turns to him, eyes sparkling with excitement. "Really? You'd go on a ferris wheel with me?"

He nods, surprised by how much he wants to make her happy. "Of course. Though I might need some convincing to try any of the other rides."

She laughs with her whole chest, making him smile as well. "Don't worry, I'll protect you from the scary roller coasters." she teases. He was absolutely in trouble. 

As they continue their drive, Togame finds himself opening up more, sharing stories from his past that he's never told anyone before. She listens intently, asking questions and offering her own experiences in return. It's a level of intimacy he's not used to, but he finds himself craving more.

"So, tell me more about your family," Togame asks, genuinely curious about her background.

She hesitates for a moment before responding. "Well, my parents are married. Mom is from Japan and Dad is from America. I’m closest with my dad but my mom always means well. We're not super close, and she worries a lot."

Togame nods, understanding the complexities of family dynamics all too well. "And what does she think about you being in Makochi?"

A nervous laugh escapes her lips. "It was sorta her idea. My aunt needed help due to her failing health, and I guess Toma is always busy. She made a joke about me staying in Japan since I didn’t want to take all 12 classes she wanted- like she would have." She sighed out, the pressure from her family showing upon her shoulders. “She has always been like that…family, duty, studies. It's a lot.”

Togame raises an eyebrow, a smirk playing at his lips. "Better to have a family that cares, than ones who never call."

“True, my dad texts me a lot! Auntie already told him I have a new friend.”

Togame raises an eyebrow, a smirk playing at his lips. "A friend, huh? Is that what I am?"

She blushes, playfully swatting his arm. "You know what I mean. I couldn't exactly tell her I was shacking up with a yakuza boss."

The word 'shacking up' sends a thrill through Togame. He likes the idea of her living with him, being there when he comes home, waking up to her every morning. He did have an apartment, but he never used it. At some point he was in his office so much it became annoying to walk all the way home just to get an emergency call to head back. Eventually he just caved and had a room furnished for him amongst everyone else.

"Fair enough," he concedes. "Though I hope you'll introduce me someday."

"You'd want to meet my parents?" The disbelief in her voice nearly insulted him. He was a yazuka leader, not some uncivil cunt that would fuck her and leave. 

Togame shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant even though her comment had irked him a touch. "Eventually, yes. If this is going to be serious, I want to do things right."

She's quiet for a moment, processing his words. When she speaks again, her voice is soft, almost reverent. "I'd like that." she looks back over at him with a nervous glance.

“About Toma…am I allowed to see him soon?” She asks softly, almost like she expected him to blow up on the matter. 

“I already told him he could visit you at your aunts house whenever he likes.” He offers up casually. Togame was under the impression that Hiragi would have already stopped by, or at least let her know when he would. It was silly, but he found it amusing they fought so hard to get her back but couldn’t be bothered to visit. 

“What do you mean?” she turns her body to fully look at him. 

“Just as I said. The agreement was set in place so he could visit whenever he likes. No one will bother him if he is visiting you.”

She stares at Togame, processing his words. "Wait, so... you're not keeping me from seeing Toma?" Her voice is a mixture of relief and something softer. He wonders if she realized it was Hiragi's choice not to visit. 

Togame's brow furrows slightly. "Of course not. I may be possessive, but I won't be cruel to you. He's your family." He glances at her, noting the surprise on her face. "Did you think I would forbid him from seeing you?"

She shifts in her seat, looking crestfallen. " I wasn't sure. Given everything that's happened, I thought maybe..."

Togame sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I’m sure he just needs time. He and I have history, I am sure he is just shocked." he pauses, realizing Hiragi’s distance isn't really about him. It was likely about her, walking away without a word. “If Hiragi is half the man I think he is, he’ll visit soon.” Togame was positive Hiragi would come around, whether it was to fight him or reconnect with her- it would happen one way or another. 

She's quiet for a moment, processing this information. When she speaks again, her voice is filled with emotion. "Yeah, I am sure you’re right."

He nods, reaching over to take her hand again. "Usually am." he says with a cheeky grin. She levels him with a look only a woman can give before letting out a small laugh and shaking her head. 

As they continue driving, the city lights blurring past them, she leans her head against the window, lost in thought. Togame can almost see the gears turning in her mind as she processes everything. 

"Can I ask you something?" she says suddenly, turning to face him.

"Of course," Togame replies, curious about what's on her mind now.

She takes a deep breath before continuing. "What exactly does being your girlfriend mean? In terms of...well, everything. Your work, your life, us?" Togame is quiet for a moment, considering her questions slowly. It's something he's been thinking about too- but hasn't fully worked.

"It means you're mine," he says matter of factly. "But it also means I'm yours. I'll protect you, provide for you, be there for you. But I also expect loyalty and discretion." He pauses, choosing his next words carefully. "My work is dangerous, and there will be things I can't tell you. Can you accept that?"

She nods slowly. "Yes. As long as you're honest with me about what you can be." He nods, not having much more to offer in the conversation. 

“One more question.” She says after a long pause. “What do you do? How do you make money?” The question didn’t really bother him, but he is curious as to why she wants to know.

“First, tell me why you want to know? You won't be involved.” He watches closely, waiting for her answer. “Well, it was explained to me that Bofurin are just unofficial law enforcement- not yakuza…” she pauses as Togame’s chest tightens with a sly smile, a laugh threatening to burst from his face. 

“Is that so?” He barks out a laugh, unable to hold it in any longer. Of course they would tell her they were rent-a-cops. That was so far from the truth it bordered on fantasy rather than a lie. He desperately wanted to ask who told her something that ridiculous, but he already had a hunch. 

“Yes, and I might have to defend myself- defend you since they aren’t yakuza I guess.” She offers her explanation which only led to him frowning. He didn’t need someone to defend his actions- he made them with intention. 

“Bullshit. They are the same, that I promise you. Bofurin may keep themselves free of nasty labels but I assure you- there is nothing different about them.” He laughs again, unable to keep it down. How much he loathed Bofurin talking shit on his organization when they were in the mud with him. While he didn’t wish to be defended, he was more than happy to set some records straight. 

“Not to mention the generous amounts of money they accept from me to move products through their territory.” He took a long breath, settling down from his laughter. “And to answer your question, Shishitoren makes most of its money selling drugs, and other contraband.” He was focused on the road but saw her shoulders stiffen nonetheless. 

“Oh. Drugs.” she looks down at her lap. “That is kind of awful.” she finally admits, and he is in full agreement. 

“It is. No need to defend it.” He casually states, unbothered by something so obvious to him. 

“Wait, what?” The look on her face was priceless but he didn’t laugh this time. She needed to understand something very simple about him. He was good at his job, but that didn’t mean he thought his job was good. 

“Don’t defend me, or what I do. It's not necessary. You need only accept it.” She stares at him, clearly taken aback by his blunt admission. "I don't know what to say," she finally manages.

Togame keeps his eyes on the road, his expression neutral. "You don't need to say anything. I'm not asking for your approval."

A heavy silence falls between them. Togame can feel the tension radiating from her, but he found it kind of cute the way she tried to work through everything. He waits patiently, giving her the space to fully come to terms with his words. 

"I certainly don’t like it, but I accept it." she says with confidence, and he fully believes her. 

Togame nods, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "That's all I ask."

She takes a deep breath, her fingers fidgeting in her lap. "Can I ask, do you ever wish things were different? That you could do something else?"

Togame considers her question with a slight frown. It's not something he often allows himself to think about. "Sometimes," he admits after a long pause. "But this is the life I've chosen, for better or worse. I'm good at what I do, and I take care of my people. That has to be enough."

She nods slowly, absorbing his words. "I understand, but it's certainly more complicated than I thought. "

"Life often is." Togame agrees, reaching over to take her hand. He's relieved when she doesn't pull away. Togame feels a weight lift from his shoulders. He's never been this open with anyone before, never allowed someone to see the complexities of his world. It felt nice to have her know and choose to embrace him still. 

"Thank you," she says softly, squeezing his hand. "For trusting me enough to share."

Togame brings her hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. "Thanks for not running away."

She laughs softly, some of the tension dissipating. "Well, I am in a moving car. Running isn't really an option right now."

Togame chuckles, grateful for her attempt at humor. "Fair point. I'll have to remember that strategy for future difficult conversations."

As they approach her aunt's neighborhood, Togame feels a pang of reluctance. He's not ready for this night to end, not ready to let her go just yet. But he knows she needs time to process everything, to come to terms with the reality of his world.

"We're almost back to your home." he says softly, giving her hand another squeeze. The atmosphere in the car shifts. It's not tense, exactly, but there's a new heaviness to the air. Togame knows they've crossed a threshold in their relationship, one that can't be undone.

There's a moment of hesitation before she responds. "Actually, could I stay with you tonight? I don't want this to end yet." 

Togame's heart skips a beat at her request. He hadn't expected her to want to stay, but the idea of having her in his bed all night is incredibly appealing. Togame can't help the smile that spreads across his face at her request. 

"Of course, I’d like that." he says, trying to keep his voice neutral despite the surge of excitement he feels. “Do you need to inform your aunt?” He asks quickly after confirming he’d like her to stay, recalling she was always running errands for her aunt. 

"Oh, right," she says, fumbling for her phone. "I should let her know I won't be home tonight."

As she types out a quick message to her aunt, Togame changes course, heading towards his private apartment instead of Orion Stars. He rarely uses it, preferring to stay at the Shishitoren complex most nights, but tonight he wants privacy. Just the two of them, away from prying eyes and the pressures of his world.

"All set," she says, putting her phone away. "I told her I was staying with a friend." Togame nods, a smirk playing on his lips. "Another friend huh?"

She blushes, playfully swatting his arm. "Well, I couldn't exactly tell her I was spending the night with my yakuza boyfriend, now could I?" The word 'boyfriend' sends a charge through his entire spine- goosebumps forming on his arm. It's still new, still strange to hear, but he finds he likes it more than he expected. 

His apartment building comes into view, and a gasp makes him look over at her for a second- her face bright red. He looks back at the apartment a bit confused. It's a modern high-rise but nothing special. He parks in his private spot and leads her to the elevator, his hand resting on the small of her back.

"This is where you live?" she asks, awe evident in her voice as they step into the elevator.

Togame shrugs, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious. "I don't spend much time here, to be honest." The elevator opens directly into his penthouse apartment. Floor-to-ceiling windows offer a decent view of the Makochi skyline. The space is minimally furnished, all clean lines and muted colors. If he were completely honest it was now embarrassing to realize there is nothing personal in his apartment either. 

"Make yourself at home," Togame says, shrugging off his jacket. "Would you like something to drink?" She nods, still taking in the surroundings. "Water would be great, thanks." she responds while touching a statue in the living room- he had no idea where it came from. 

As Togame moves to the kitchen, he watches her out of the corner of his eye. She's exploring the space, running her fingers over the unused furniture, peering out at the city lights below. He's struck by how right she looks here, in his private space- maybe he could move her in. It would be safer than her room being in a one story house, her room facing the street. 

He returns with two glasses of water, handing one to her. "So," he says, taking a sip from his own glass. "What shall we do with the rest of our evening?"

She takes a long drink, her eyes never leaving his. When she sets down the glass, there's a glint in her eye that sends heat coursing through his body.

"I have a few ideas," she says, stepping closer to him. Her hands come to rest on his chest, and Togame feels his breath catch in his throat.

"Is that so?" he mumbles, setting his own glass aside to wrap his arms around her waist. "Care to share?"

Instead of answering, she rises up on her tiptoes, pressing her lips to his. Togame responds immediately, deepening the kiss as he pulls her flush against him. His hands roam her body, reacquainting themselves after a long day. She moans softly into his mouth, her fingers tangling in his hair.

He breaks the kiss, trailing his lips along her jaw to her ear. "Are you sure?" he murmurs, nipping gently at her earlobe. "You're still sore from earlier."he reminds her, no way he was letting pretend otherwise. 

She nods, her breath coming in short gasps. "I'm sure. I want you, Togame." That's all the encouragement he needs. In one swift motion, he lifts her up, her legs wrapping around his waist as he carries her to the bedroom. He lays her gently on the bed, taking a moment to drink in the sight of her sprawled across his sheets.

"You're beautiful." he says, his voice low and reverent. He begins to undress her slowly, savoring each inch of skin as it's revealed. She watches him with glassy eyes, her chest rising and falling rapidly with anticipation.

Once all her skin was laying bare before him, Togame strips off his own clothes, never taking his eyes off her. He joins her on the bed, hovering over her, his lips just inches from hers.

"Tell me what you want." he requests, his hand trailing down her side.

She arches into his touch, her eyes fluttering closed. "I want you to fuck me." she demands-which he fucking loves. Togame groans, capturing her lips in a tongue filled kiss. His hand continues its path along her skin, finding her already wet and ready for him. He works her slowly, building her pleasure with practiced strokes. Her moans were something akin to music, affecting him so strongly he almost didn’t want to stop fingering her. 

When she's writhing beneath him, begging for more, Togame finally removes his fingers from her dripping pussy. He grabs a pillow then gingerly lifts her still pink ass off the bed, shoving the pillow below her for a better angle. She moans wantonly as he rubs his cock against her clit. Her hips buck up, urging him on and that is all he needs. Togame guides himself into her body, nice and slow. They both gasp at the sensation, the feeling of her consuming his thoughts. He sets a steady rhythm, each thrust deep and purposeful. 

As they move together, Togame is struck by the intensity of his feelings for her. It's more than just physical attraction or his possessiveness. There's a warmth in his chest, a tenderness he's never experienced during sex- it was too much to handle while he was inside her. 

He pushes the thoughts aside, focusing instead on bringing her pleasure. His fingers find her clit, circling it in time with his thrusts. She cries out, her nails digging into his back as she approaches her peak quickly.

"Come for me," Togame growls, feeling his own release building just as rapidly. "Let go. I've got you." With a final and incredibly loud cry, she shatters around him, her body clenching and trembling. The sight and feel of her orgasm push Togame over the edge, and he follows her with a deep groan. For the second time today, his come spills inside her body, making them both moan. He takes a few more lazy pumps while she whines about loving his come inside her. He blinks hard trying to block out her rambling so he didn’t get hard again, which was very difficult due to her pussy clenching around his cock, milking him for everything he had.  She whines as he pulls out, opening her arms to him. 

Togame collapses into her embrace, also pulling her close as they both catch their breath. He presses soft kisses to her forehead, her cheeks, her lips, unable to get enough of her. They lie tangled together, skin slick with sweat and come, hearts beating in tandem.

She nuzzles into his chest, her breathing starting to even out. "I could get used to this," she murmurs sleepily.

Togame tightens his arms around her, suddenly overwhelmed by the intensity of his feelings. "Me too," he admits softly, the words barely audible. He takes a moment to shift her body, enough to grab the pillow and toss it to the floor. 

Her breathing deepens after a few minutes, signaling she drifted off to sleep. He pulls the covers over them both, tucking her securely against his side. For a while Togame finds himself wide awake staring at her peaceful face. It takes him about an hour to settle but eventually, exhaustion begins to set in. As sleep starts to claim him, he's struck by a sudden realization. For the first time in his life, he's not alone in his bed and he never wants to be again.

"Stay with me." he murmurs, his voice thick with sleep even though he knew she couldn’t hear him. With one last look at her face he falls into a dreamless sleep- eager to see her in the morning. 

Kotoha POV - Earlier that Day

Kotoha stares blankly at her phone, tears slowly welling up in her eyes. She can’t understand how this happened. Just yesterday she was shopping and having crepes with her friend, and now she is wondering if her friend is even safe enough to talk.

Kotoha's fingers hover over the phone, desperately wanting to call or text back despite her saying she was completely fine. How could she be fine? Togame Jo is controlling her every move. There was no way she could be fine, right? 

“Is she alright?” Sakura says slowly, noting Kotoha’s tears. She bites her lip, shaking her head in defeat.

“I don’t know, she said there was no reason to worry. But why does it not feel like that?” She asks no one in particular. Several of the Bofurin men move to the counter to offer support. 

“Hajime said Hiragi could visit anytime, and that she can come here as well- even if there were some conditions.” Suo offers, she could tell it was a weak attempt but it still helped.

Kotoha sighs, wiping away her tears. "I know, but it still feels wrong. She should be able to see her friends whenever she wants, not have to get permission."

Suo nods sympathetically. "I understand. It's a difficult situation."

“I think you did a good job with the scarf code word!” Nirei offers up making Kotoha smile. It was silly, and felt sorta weird in the moment but she was glad her friend at least had some way to ask for help. 

"Maybe we could invite her over for tea soon?" Suo suggests gently. "That way we can see for ourselves how she's doing."

Kotoha nods slowly. "That's a good idea. I'll text her and see if she's free sometime this week."

As she types out the message, Kotoha couldn't shake the uneasy feeling in her gut. She wants to believe her friend was truly okay, but something felt off. The call had seemed forced, like she was trying too hard to convince everyone that everything was fine.

"Do you think..." Kotoha hesitates, not wanting to voice her darkest fears. "Do you think Togame could be forcing her to say these things?" The room fell silent at her words. It was the question they'd all been afraid to ask.

"I don't know," Sakura says finally. "But if he is, we'll figure it out. We won't abandon her."

Kotoha nods back in response, feeling a small spark of determination. Whatever was really going on, they would get to the bottom of it. Her friend wasn't alone, Kotoha would make sure of it. 

"Maybe we should talk to Hiragi," Nirei suggests. "He might want to visit her soon."

"Good idea," Kotoha agrees. "I'll give him a call later today." Slowly the others drifted back to their own conversations, while Kotoha stared down at her phone again. 

"We'll figure this out," she whispers to herself. "Just hang in there. We're here for you, whether you know it or not." it was a promise, and everyone knew Kotoha Tachibana kept her promises. 

With a deep breath, Kotoha pockets her phone and turns her attention back to work. But her mind keeps drifting to her friend, hoping desperately that she truly was safe and happy in her new situation. Only time would tell if her fears were justified or not.

[noxemma]

Suptober 2023 - Day 7: Black Cat

Black Cats and Broken Angels

Word Count: 8,079

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Dean Winchester Dies Temporarily, I promise it's only for like a second okay, Cat Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Has a Cat Allergy, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Idiots in Love, Fluff and Smut, THE SMUT IS AFTER DEAN IS HUMAN AGAIN, Blow Jobs, Sam Winchester Needs Brain Bleach, Mutliple POVs, Castiel Has Self-Worth Issues (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, an orgasm so good it heals you, okay someone take the keyboard away, no beta we die like men, Suptober 2023 (Supernatural)

Summary: A hunt goes wrong and Dean gets hit with a spell that has some interesting consequences.

[wheelin-after-midnight]

49.

1. Are you a woman? 

Yeah.

2. Do you have an overall positive or negative view of the word "sensitive"? Why? 

Negative, these days. Many around me chastize me for being "too sensitive" and are pretty dismissive of me having any emotion they don't like/understand agree with in general. I don't have the energy to see it as a strength right now. I'm just defeated and sad. 3. Would you say you are sensitive, and if so, in what ways? 

Deeply. I feel too much. I care too much. Things people say and do that hurt and bother me stay with me too long. I pick up on others' suffering and I wish I could help everyone.

4. What are three of your favorite things about being a woman? 

The female orgasm, cute underwear, the fact that we bring life into the world, even though my body isn't one of the ones that can.

5. What are three of your least favorite things about being a woman? 

Menstrual cycles, having to wear bras in public settings, and when others blame every and any emotion or upset on whether or not we're on our periods.

6. How do you feel about the color pink? 🩷🌸 

I like it. I just got a baby pink Bluetooth keyboard and mouse for my devices as a Christmas present to myself. It's so cute. :)

7. What is your favorite shade of pink? 

Baby or neon.

8. What are three ways in which you'd say you fit the female stereotype? 

I'm often very feminine presenting in many ways. I'm very emotional, soft, sensitive, nurturing.

9.....and what are three ways in which you don't? 

I'm not always the biggest fan of feminine scents. I prefer a lot of men's soaps, deodorants, things like that. I don't think anyone has to conform to outdated gender roles and norms, I'm not always "ladylike" and swear like a sailor.

10. What are three words you would use to describe your menstrual cycle? 

Heavy, crampy, bedbound.

11. When was the last time you wore a dress? 👗 

In the summer, probably.

12. Do you like wearing dresses? 👗 

When I feel like it, sure.

13. Do you prefer cooking or baking? 

Cooking, but I'm not passionate about either anymore.

14. What is one issue that affects women that you think needs more awareness? Why? 

Pregnancy and child loss. It's such a horrible thing to go through and people shouldn't feel more isolated than they already often do after something like that. I just wish a lot of people had more understanding and support. I wish they felt okay to talk about it and I wish there was more sensitivity training and classes on what is and is not helpful and what's really insensitive when it comes to all types of grief.

15. Did you do anything special to celebrate Women's Day this year, and if so, what? 

I acknowledged my ride or die girls privately, which I do on random days too, but I didn't really celebrate.

16. How often do you wear makeup? 

Basically never.

17. Do you enjoy wearing makeup? 

It's way too much effort for something that doesn't even matter. 18. Do you think you need makeup to look pretty? 

Absolutely not. If women want to wear makeup, it should always be for themselves. No one needs superficial enhancements to be worthy.

19. How often do you cry? 😢

Every fucking day these last several month. Life has been really unkind.  20. Do you prefer knitting or crocheting? 🧶 

I don't have the patience or dexterity for either.

21. What colors do you think look best on you? 

Black, white, grey, purple, blue, sometimes reds.

22....and what colors do you think look the worst on you? 

Orange, green, yellow.

23. What is your favorite lipstick shade? 💄 

I don't have one.

24. If you could change one thing about your body, what would it be? 

I would have been born fully able bodied and healthy.

25. Are you happy with your weight right now? 

I've been maintaining for years mostly, so I'm not unhappy with it, but I wouldn't be dangerously unhealthy if I lost a bit more or anything.

26. Who are some women you admire, and why? 

Brittany! The kind of parent she is, how she's made a point to break cycles of trauma for her child. It's such an awesome thing to see as a proud friend. There are also several public figures whose work I admire for different reasons, but I've discussed some of those before several times.

27. Do you prefer male or female doctors? Why?

I really prefer neither. I've a lot of medical trauma. Depending on the reason for seeing them, though, I'm often more comfortable with a female doctor.

  28. What are a few of your favorite girl's names, and what are a few of your favorite boy's names? 

I have one of each, which I've discussed before. Abrielle and Mateo.

29. Who was the last friend of yours to have a baby? 

Sarina, but we've not been in touch often since she moved out of the building a few years ago.

30. What are some names your friends used for their kids which you like? 

My friend's sister named her son Asher, and I loved that name.

31. Do you want to have kids? Why or why not? 

With every cell in my body. I can't have children, though.

32. Would you say you are more feminine or masculine? 

I'm feminine presenting more often and I'd say I have feminine traits and mannerisms.

33. Do you think your hair looks best long or short? 

Long.

34. How often do you wear heels? 👠 

I can't. The condition secondary to my disability that causes my feet to swell make this impossible and it makes me so sad. I have such a shoe obsession and I love heels.

35. Do you enjoy shopping? 🛍️ 

Not something I have the luxury of choosing to do out in person often. But sure. If I'm with Brittany. I enjoy everything when we get to be together.

36. What are a few stores in your city (or in a nearby city) that you used to loving shopping at that closed down? 

Zeller's.

37. Which one of these words would you say describes you best: sensitive, intuitive, emotional, creative, or passionate? 

I feel like all of these together are a very good summation of who I am in general, to be honest.

38. What personality trait do you admire the most in other people? 

People who are naturally very outgoing and don't have a hard time trusting/opening up to others. Very extroverted folks are great and I love when they help make me feel better in any given setting. Also people who look me in the eyes when I speak and don't talk to me like I'm dumb all the time because a lot of people do. The ones who can pick up on things I don't say without having to have everything explained to them. Those kinds of people are special. The ones who can tell when you're hurting because they stopped and actually saw the pain in your eyes and they're like, "I got you."

39. Which one of these do you struggle with the most: trusting others, body positivity, kindness, patience, or self-love? 

Trusting others and self love are very much tied for first.

40. Do you have neat handwriting? ✍️ 

Oh god, no.

41. Would you rather go shopping for new clothes, bake a cake, or knit a scarf? 

Bake a cake.

42. Which one of these words would you say describes you best: fashionable, graceful, polite, honest, or trustworthy? 

Honest and trustworthy.

43. What does your favorite dress look like? 

It's short, black, red and white pin stripes.

44. When was the last time you wore a skirt? 

I honestly couldn't tell you. I don't even own a skirt anymore. 45. What does your favorite skirt look like? 

^^^ 46. Would you rather go antique shopping, shoe shopping, or bra shopping? 

Bra shopping. I'm always in need of something more supportive for the girls. They're a blessing and a curse.

47. Have you ever had surgery to check for endometriosis, and if so, what did they find? 

No.

48. Have you ever been told you might need a hysterectomy? 

No.

49. Have you ever considered getting a hysterectomy? 

Yes.

50. What are your views on birth control pills? 

I personally refuse to take any form of hormonal birth control, but I can't have children and I'm a lesbian anyway, so there's no need for it to prevent unplanned pregnancies. I have no opinion one way or the other on what other women choose to do for themselves and their own bodies. It's not my job to comment on what works for someone else.

51. Have you ever taken birth control pills? 

Briefly.

52. List a few of your favorite female singers.

Whitney Houston, Patsy Cline, Tina Turner, Selena, Jennifer Nettles.

53. Which one of these do you struggle with the most: shame, fear, thinking positive, self-doubt, or loneliness and neglect? 

Fear, thinking positive, loneliness and neglect equally for sure.

54. What are the worst symptoms you experience when on your period? 

Mirgaines, nausea, vomiting, cramps, lethargy.

55. When was the last time you wrote someone a letter? 📝 

I don't remember.

56. Does the idea of being a mother sound appealing to you at all? Why or why not? 

Yeah, it's all I've ever wanted to do with my life, but I can't be.

57. How old was your mom when she had you? 

Just shy of 25.

58. What are three things you have in common with your mom? 

I look a lot like her. That's as far as it goes. I actively strive to be pretty dissimilar to her.

59. Do you prefer male dogs or female dogs as pets? 

I don't have a preference.

60. What are three random things that make you happy?

My cat x3. Not much is keeping me sane through all of what I'm having to go through right now besides her. My girlfriend too. That's literally it, though.

[keikakudom]

Agsudisg I'm so glad you liked it, Kazi, I literally sat down the moment I finished reading and started drawing cuz you freaking killed me, I MEAN, vox being stubborn and denying help, and Alastor stubbornly giving him the aid he needs, but crouched in their respective toxic egos and self-image? So delicious. Alastor, who needs to know why he was left behind, and vox who's desperately pouring himself into the new thing... Ahhhh...

The part where he implies he really was running off to die...and Alastor goes all soft...the shared frequency, the antenna petting... I reread that multiple times bc it's so good...and the claws, the claws, vox denies wanting help from alastor to the last, but the claws!

(also we tots need full seasons and reruns of 'Let's Shit on Vox', I bet Alastor even encourages to call in with more info, not that anyone would bc they're too scared. Hey, does carmilla have to listen his obsession LOL)

Btw for the artist questions, if you want, 9, 14, 30?

YOU NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME GUSH, ES AAAA...oh lemme tell you when I lock-in, i do NOT fuck around with toxic old men yaoi. When I get better at writing, I hope to capture all their glory✨

I have never really written in this particular weird genre, I don't even know what to call it? Disgustingly intimate love/hate? At least, that's what I aspire for it to be XD

Heheh the part where "Alastor goes all soft" is also a little on the part of RR!AU characterization, so it's a bit exaggerated. He's trying to ween his way in appealing to Vox again, but RR!AU Vox is just so tired. Alastor keeps bringing up the past....This was kind of a wacky scenario to write because it does skip/make you infer a lot of stages of development, but the AU is close enough to canon that I think it's not far to imagine filling in the gaps hhh....

LMFAO yes, Alastor def encourages call-ins, "The 'Let's Shit on Vox' show, your one-stop opportunity to diss Hell's most saturated overlord!" -- on the rare occasion someone actually called in, Alastor killed whoever said something off about Vox that wasn't to his "flavor" of hate.

Carmilla has already read through these two idiots and just rolls her eyes at their immaturity. If she's there for Alastor's radio show, she's just in the background, utterly done and convinced they're playing everything up for entertainment at this point. Now that has me thinking, if Alastor ever started feeling something unfamiliar and god-forbid genuinely *good*(????), he would probably consult Rosie or Carmilla for it first........and Vox would ask Charlie.....oh..........

Aaaand Artist Questions under the cut, TYSM for the ask <33

9. What are your file name conventions?

I have terrible file organization. Many of them are named "a", "aa3", "asgv", "fhgh", or other random keyboard smashes. Recently, I have a bad habit of naming files "sketch1", "sk1", "skht1", or some misspelled way-- it's gotten so bad I'm up to "sketch22".... I find things by icon only.

14. Any favorite motifs?

Straight edges and shapes, maybe? I started drawing with an anime style though I'm mostly into western media-- I think it's very satisfying to have nice shape design/silhouettes though, but I don't draw in a super cartoony or exaggerated style so it's kind of hard to tell that I like and have fun doing it. I'm kind of scattered and like to dip my foot into everything unfortunately.

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated?

None really, but if I had to pick one for HH, maybe this one.

For my older art, definitely this one. I mean, I don't love it anymore, but I really thought I ATE with the concept at the time.

[seth-burroughs]

yakou for the ask meme? (i also hate what the fandom has done to him so i trust your rc opinions. keep up the good work)

Thank you anon I'll do my best🙏

Yakou:

favorite thing about them

How he's a fucking loser but pulled off the most elaborate murder plan just to get revenge for his Dead Wife and stabbed Dr. Huesca not once but like three times and was fine with dying afterwards if it meant that bitch is gonna die too. And now he's stuck with him in the restricted area for an indefinite period. Oh well

Not my actual favourite thing about him (because I cannot choose man) but I really wanted to point it out because I don't see enough people talk about the sheer BLOODLUST that guy had in chapter 4 like holy shit good for him I think he should be allowed to kill murder & destroy whoever he wants

least favorite thing about them

Nothing comes to mind, I'd say he got underutilized but that's the case with most of the characters here tbh (mdarc feels kinda rushed 😔😔) and Yakou is not THAT bad compared to the peacekeepers it's like. It's fine!

favorite line

Can't really pick, probably the chat Yuma had with him in the prologue, but there are a lot

brOTP

Him and the NDA, but especially Yuma his best pal buddy bro ziomek morda mordeczka Yuma who never remembers to get the fucking groceries.

OTP

none tbh

nOTP

Uhhhhhhhh yakou/seth, yakou/yomi. honestly i'm not big on any Yakou ships can't imagine him in a healthy romantic relationship (viviakou toxic sludge is fine though)

random headcanon

Makes the best fucking spaghetti sauce you ever ate in your entire life. But he puts like an entire garlic in it and you can choke to death on the smell. Also he's a trans man. Usually I don't really hc male characters as trans men etc (rather I go the other way, like a canonically female character being a trans man, non-binary et cetera) but both he and Vivia fit the vibes so! Let's goooooo.

unpopular opinion

I HATE HATE HATE the common fandom hc of Yakou being a father figure to Yuma or the whole NDA or to any character. The vibes aren't aligning on that one, he's their extremely tired boss/acquaintance/pal/best pal that lets them do terrible things to his budget if they torment him hard enough. And also because I constantly see Yuma getting treated like a 12 year old, no guys he doesn't need an adult male role model and father figure, he needs his 6ft tall 1000+ years old death god gf back from the book and to explore his much more attractive rich and successfull perfect homunculus clone's body that'll fix him I believe.

Also: I'm all for NDA found family (even if we didn't get much of them from the actual game...) but please stop making them like. a nuclear mom dad and their beautiful two children family it doesn't have to conform to any rigid roles pleaseee sometimes you're found family and fuck each other it's FINE jeuss. I was about to say something but I'm having a real one right now qhat what I forgot what I typed I suggest you forget too.

Anyway him and Yuma play minecraft together they pull of the most complicated redstone mechanisms and once every few days his house gets burned down by Desuhiko who logs into Yuma's computer while he isn't looking. He always leaves behind a very visible trail of cheeto dust on the keyboard however Yuma would never snitch on the boy that makes him warrior cats pride pfps free of charge so he just tells Yakou it's a hacker

song i associate with them

Generic old songs on the radio. I don't have any

favorite picture of them

h-HELLO???

[gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot]

Chapter 1: Moveo Et Profitior (By my actions I am known) Part 1

 Disclaimer: Innacuracies everywhere. English is not my main language

Part of the first chapter of my fic Fortis Soli, Fortiores Una (Strong Alone, Stronger Together)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47442772

Previous / Masterlist / Next

‘‘Alright, next in the list is… Sergeant… wait a minute’’ Captain John Price fumbled with the folders, discarding the one the team had been discussing until that moment, and grabbed the correct one, handing out photocopies of the basic details to the men around him in his office. Then he clicked on his laptop to show the next photo on the screen. ‘‘Sergeant Christine Vega, callsign…’’

‘‘Riot!’’ Sergeant Johnny ‘Soap’ MacTavish bellowed and threw his hands in the air, overjoyed. ‘‘Oh, Cap, you for sure want this one’’

‘‘I take it you know her, Soap’’ Price looked at the file in his hands, considerably thicker than the photocopy he had handed out. ‘‘Ah, yeah. She was with you in boot camp, right?’’

‘‘Affirmative. We were together in boot camp, then in a few assignments together… She is like my sister, I trust her with my life’’

‘‘Is that a good or a bad sign?’’ Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick smiled, studying the photocopy in his hands. Soap shrugged.

‘‘I swear, she is good, fucking good. Good head on her shoulders, cold in battle, a fucking beast, but charismatic. We used to say she was too fucking stubborn to just lie down and die. Relentless.’’

Lieutenant Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley said nothing as usual, the photocopy dangling from his hand over his crossed arms, just listening. The group had been stuck in Price’s office for almost two hours now, since the Captain had got into his head that they needed more team members. They had been going over the files of he had lost count how many, because he wasn’t interested.

He appreciated that Price wanted them in the process although it would be his the final call. What surprised him was how many people Kate Laswell had in her sights, having sent the files not even twenty minutes after Price had commented his idea in the daily meeting with the Station Chief.

So, there they were. Wasting their morning looking at faces and listening to personal data he cared very little about. But the fact Soap knew one of them, and seemed excited to vouch for them, was enough to pick his interest and raise his masked face and stare at the screen.

Light blue eyes with a touch of grey stared back at him from a serious, inexpressive face. Light blonde hair loosely braided and kept in what it seemed a half undone ponytail. The photo wasn’t the official one on file, the one he was seeing in the photocopy and Price’s folder, but a more casual one that Laswell had chosen for some reason. It showed a woman in her late twenties but young looking, wearing civvies and holding a half empty glass of beer.

The photo was clearly cropped from a larger one, as parts of bodies could be seen, and an arm thrown around the sergeant’s chair. She didn’t look happy, either at the company or at the photo being taken.

‘‘Who’s that?’’ He asked, and Price looked at the screen, and frowned. The arm over the sergeant’s chair had a tattoo of a skull pierced by a short sword, with a snake around it. Price grunted, and the three other men in the room perked up. If their Captain disapproved, they disapproved too.

‘‘A fucking bastard. I know that tattoo’’ Slowly, the Captain left the folder on the desk and grabbed his third cigar that morning. ‘‘That’s Captain William Rico, he commanded the HeadHunters’’

‘‘Isn’t that the company that was disbanded three months ago?’’ Gaz looked up from the photocopy, raising both his eyebrows. Price nodded, and grabbed the folder again, and started to read again.

‘‘Good at recon, licensed drone pilot, decent sniper, good with knives, fluent in five languages’’

‘‘You want her, Captain’’ Soap threw his photocopy, dutifully folded into a paper plane, and giggled when it landed right on the laptop’s keyboard.

‘‘I have the final say but I want your opinion. We have discarded four and accepted two, and she’s the last folder for today. Votes?’’

‘‘You know my vote!’’ Soap smiled widely. ‘‘I trust Christine, she’s solid, we go way back. I would put my arse in her hands without doubt… ehm… not in that way!’’

‘‘If Soap says so, that’s good enough for me’’ Gaz shrugged, placing the photocopy back on Price’s desk. The Captain nodded and looked at Ghost. He trusted the Lieutenant’s intuition more than he trusted Soap’s memories.

Ghost was still looking at the photo on the screen, and then turned his hard gaze to look at Price.

‘‘Yeah, why not’’

[ryderdire]

so I promised my friends I posts these back in softmore year

This quote book features @orinmothwings @the-critic-god-of-books @unknown-box-boi @jasontheweirdsibling and @rats-in-a-trenchcoatt well as as alot of my irls Doc is in this book a lot because of circumstances of us having to spend a lot of time together and I assure you they say some wild shit

I present to you my quote book.

Are you okay?-irl 🌟

I’m gay - me

MURDER SHOES - Irl 📡

What if it was a child

I DONT CARE THROW THE CHILD OUT THE WINDOW - irl 🐸

I just don’t want to violence - Jason

I will hospitalize you SHIT WAIT MEAN

HOSPTAITLY U - me

This women looks could kill god but she is god -Box

Dem Chips - Jason

I’m not currently fit for human consumption-me again

doc:I need to tell you something

Ren: Oh gods what did you do

Doc: I DIDNT KILL ANY politicians

Ren :THAT SOUNDs incrediblely suspicious

KILL ALL LEAVES -doc

THEY STOLE IT FROM GOD”

“OH YOUR DRINKING POMEGRANATE JUICE you know what THAT MEANS YOUR GOING TO DIE”- Doc

ACat girls either have fur or hair they can’t have both-Doc

You know what I’m thinking about women <3 ren

I was thinking thinking about rats

-doc

Fuck later look first-doc

Doc: We always throw people out windows why don’t we throw people into windows

Ren:That’s how we break into places

Doc:YES THROWS REN INTO A WINDOW

Doc: BACK IN MY DAY MEN WHERE MEN AND WOMEN WHERE CARS

Ren: your gay

Box: no I’m hungry

I gotta call the murder lady - unkown person I forgot to label this

ME: WHERE ARE LESBAINS

DOC:I ate them

ME: NOOOOO

-He doesn’t have skin All hes got is nails and luck BOX about mr bones (I’m sorry box)

Your missing pretty women-irl 🌟

Who wants to help me kill god?

Entire table raises their hand

(This interaction is a running joke at this point I can’t in good conscious asgin it to one person)

How do you spell whore?????-doc

Box: I’m going to steal your heart in the least romantic way possible

I’m so jealous I wanna be a cryptid- ren

Are people who are attrated to cat boys furries-doc

HOW MUCH CAT IS This BOY— doc

Bitch why do you have this keyboard? - Jason when he stole your phone

Why the fuck is Ren so weird sometimes?- Jason also

If you drink enough, you’re gonna get drunk-

I’m dying, I’m dead, I’m in hell, Satan has given me an award forr the gayest person ever! I couldn’t do this without women- I hate you- Ren (printmaking)

Jason keeps stealing my phone and adding notes lol

Who would say that one ?

A bird -Jason

These rocks are either too pretty or too big. This rock is ugly enough

Ren:because I need to keep my gay best friend

Doc: 0;

Ren: me im the gay best friend

Doc: I’m my own gay best friend

Stop thirsting over god- doc

You don’t canoddle ren your the opposite of a canoddle I like you -the librarian on the loud speaker

WHAT

If they know theve Sinned -ren

Parental pegger -Ren

Jason :Special

Ren: COWARD L

Jason:SPEICAL

JASON: bad word English aSpecial

Jason : you don’t need to understand to see the cringe

I can lengthen my bones -irl 🐸

I don’t get bitches I make them- irl ☁️

My hair is very leggy -irl 🐸

My hair is feet - me making a typo

I’m tired of emotionally draining drama i just want to fight people

Box: bite?

Irl 🐸 and ren at the same Time: FIGHT

Me:omg gay people real

Box: of course their real have you seen yourself in the mirror

Doc: a Victorian women could pull a full ass chicken from their pocket

Doc: I’m not pregent

Irl 🙃: your pregent

Doc:IM NOT

Irl 🙃: what’s it gender what are going to name it???

BONK - headbutt from box

THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP HOE-ren

Box slaps hand on Rens shoulders:FRIENSHIP

Ren screems

Offendedly: Whore - box to dogs with their balls

“Gay” - box

Irl 🌳:he looks Gay

Orin:HIS DAD JUST DIED

Orin: I like men who I could kill and women who could kill me im a switch

Ren: Doc. Tell my story

Doc:I’ll tell it in extradited voiceeeeee

Doc: I’m going to pick you and (no memory of what the rest of this was my bad)

Irl 🎃:NO DONT TOUCH THE LORD (referring to a rubber duck)

Pigs sure as hell can fly it’s called cops in a helicopter-me

Don’t foldle the lord in such a manner - irl 🎃 (still about that rubber duck)

you look like a gnome- doc about my mental breakdown haircut

Me: I was making fun of myself making fun of my self ):<

Rat:

Me: ):<

Rat: your mentally ill.

Doc: I wonder how someone discovered milk

Me:someone was probably horny

Me: congrats you where the last people to find out you where dating.

Orin: you know what I hate?

Ren: women

Orin:tonsil stones what the fuck

Be nice to yourself bitch (finger guns pointed at me) - Rat

Me: (in my villan ) sex….. kinda…mid ngl.

Orin:

Irl 🌕: NO don’t crusfiy the snail. ):<

Me: I don’t sleep I’m built differnt

Doc: Ren you are made of flesh bones and sadness that is 80% of the human population your not different.

Ren: that’s what a bumper sticker is

Doc:but you don’t have a girlfriend or a car

Ren: well actually

Doc: *gasp* you have a car??????

I turn down the temputre of every room I’m in

cuz ur not hot

Because I’m a ghost????? - I don’t remember who said this I promise I’m good at my job.

Orin: Is this a beautiful women or a very gay man?

answer: it’s a bit in between!

Doc:A large truck

Me:Correction two trucks fucking.

[girl-epitome]

strangers kissing

hello my sugars,

i began this summer in Rome. my goodness what a beautiful city. Italy itself was entirely romantic. subtract men from the equation and still my surroundings invoked an urge inside of me i never felt before.

what is it about location that changes the way you think so much?

i'm from a small town in the dessert, such a banal and exhausting destination for a woman whos heart contains puissance for vivacious activities, being surrounded by the grand ancient architecture, the walkable neighborhoods, and the lively streets were all someone like me could have ever dreamed of.

one night we stumbled into a private hookah bar, we had a few very strong drinks, i ordered a manhattan, something i've dreamed of doing since i was a little girl watching SATC, i did not enjoy it but it was pretty to look at.

we smoked from the hookah on a couch by the door, my goodness did we laugh in childlike wonder. who would've thought we could experience something like this? three best friends, listening to various languages, intoxicated by alcohol and joy at 3 a.m. in a foreign country.

soon some men (visually boyish) came and introduced themselves. I guess anyone in europe can seem boyish with the spectacular diet they have.

the boys were a year or two younger than us, strong Albanian accents, my friends were chatting with the tall one, and i caught the attention of the boy with glasses. my type.

we held hands as he sat in front of me, telling me about life in europe. the keyboard on his phone was so hard for me to understand while i punched in my instagram user.

we left the closing bar and he offered me his cigarette. the italian breeze blew in my hair and the cobblestone sang to my heels. i never had one before. he took a puff and passed it to me. we shared two cigarettes that night, foreshadowing the kiss we allotted just minutes after.

my time in Rome was quixotic. stunning outfits, tasteful cocktails, and the blissfulness of living like you'll die tomorrow. my heart is destined to leave the place i reside. i will experience the world, i have to.

[whitehotharlots]

I fear we're all already dead

Just a few years ago, human decency--a concept that was admittedly always nebulous and contextual--became radically redefined. Whatever it used to be was inadequate. Now, decency is defined by one's willingness to perform obedience rituals regarding interpersonal comportment. You don't add the letter X to random words because you like it or because it changes anything; you do it because you just do it, because that's what it takes to be a decent fucking person.

Like most other social malignancies, this one started in academe and slowly slithered its way into white collar spaces before becoming mandated elsewhere. As recently as a decade ago, the more pointless and onerous of precepts such as this would either eventually die out or take a very long time before reaching the mainstream in some tempered form. The internet has hastened to speed of the spread. Today's bit of niche retardation is tomorrow's unbreakable mandate, and you will be punished if you refuse to obey. And why shouldn't you be? Are we as a society supposed to just sit there and tolerate behaviors that are as indecent as using naughty words or not posting a Black square on your instagram feed?

The left either celebrates developments such as this or, in their edgier and more honest moments, attempt to downplay them. Yes, a large majority of Hispanic people refuse the term Latinx and many of them find it actively offensive. But so what. It ain't hurting anybody. J-just go through the motions, keep your head down, obey in public and snicker about it when no one's watching.

But I fear we've lost something. Something essential. At heart, this is a social project meant to inculcate all Decent people into a form of didactic manicheanism. As nearly everyone acknowledges, none of this really changes anything. It's a social sorting mechanism, something that gives us all an excuse to automatically hate those who fall into the wrong side of performance.

The need to judge everyone, at all times and as harshly as possible, has stripped the concept of morality of all human traits. Assessments become more superficial at scale. Tasked with sorting every person, every thought, every action and utterance into Good and Bad piles means we don't really have the time or capacity to dig deep, no room to consider whether our judgments are reflective of anything more meaningful than our desire to judge.

The news was rough last week. It started with two separate incidents in which left-wing activists were murdered by strangers: one in his home, another on the street. Each did exactly what they were instructed to do in the wake of the Daniel Penny incident. They had been trained to ignore their basic survival instincts, that both flight and fight are problematic responses to encountering deranged and visibly angry men. What does it say about your privilege, if you confront or distance yourself from a man simply because he's verbally threatening to kill you? Are you some sort of Republican? Or are one of the Good ones, willing to reach out and attempt to provide deranged vagrants with the validation society has so cruelly denied them?

The right responded to these murders with unbridled glee. Everyone is sharing the same screen, after all... just looking it from one of two opposed angles. The men had supported what they thought were more humane policies in regards to crime and housing, and so that means their deaths were cause for celebration. Everyone is still either Good or Bad. They are labels, not humans.

And then, over the weekend, Hamas launched the largest offensive against Israel that's happened in my lifetime. Here we were treated to the ripest fruits of intersectionality: unironic racists allying with leftie keyboard revolutionaries to celebrate the victory of based hyper-religious trads over the heathen children of an EMD festival, august professors of Decolonization Studies attempting to reconcile their nagging support of violent revolution with videos of young women being raped and murdered. Context was secondary. The need to sort prevailed above all else. We need to determine who is Good here, and who is Bad, so that we can either cheer or cry. There is no human reality beyond my screen. There is no human reality beyond my judgment.