#so my take on his character is purely external

[tubborucho]

Sometimes I think: isn’t it kind of weird how you can just leave out c!tubbo and c!ranboo out of each other’s stories (especially post New L’Manberg) and it will not change like anything in their characters?

Like, for example, you can’t explain c!Tubbo as a person without explaining his friendship with c!Tommy, the influence of c!Wilbur on him and how c!Schlatt has a hand in who he is today. It’s just impossible to not at least mention these people for understanding this character as a whole. Yet you can leave out c!Ranboo and still draw a perfect picture. And they were canonically married. The only things that come to my mind that should be left to explain c!Tubbo are Michael (though I think you can mention just Michael, and it still would work) and parallels c!Tubbo saw between him and c!Ranboo during the green festival.

The major reason for that all is most likely the break between cc!Tubbo and cc!Ranboo. I would imagine if they still were actively friends, we would see c!bee duo playing out quite differently. But ultimately it leads to this.

I would even say, that c!Ranboo is more easily separated from c!Tubbo’s story than the other way. Because their argument about selling the Cookie Outpost was at least planned to be a huge turning point for c!Ranboo, where it was just a pebble in c!Tubbo’s life.

This post has no purpose other than writing down thoughts that keep me awake rn (it’s 5AM), I originally started by thinking how impossibly interconnected c!clingy duo are in each other’s stories and who they are as we have them at the end. And came to this.

[dingodoodles]

Hiya dingo! I've been listening to sands for a while now. And it makes me wonder. What inspired Rooster's character?

So he was actually a random warm up doodle I did back in 2018, based off of a set of dice colors. But I loved the design so much I wanted to make a character out of him. His personality was mostly inspired by "What character type have I not played before?" Rooster is the most genuine and sweetest character I've played. Like not a malicious bone in him, kinda guy. He just wants to help people. Usually my characters have SOMETHING that makes them a "bad person" that they are conscious of in one shape or form. Which I enjoy, as it serves as a tool for growth. With Sips is was pretty obvious what his issues were along with Bree and Cooper. But with Rooster I've actually struggled with him being all sunshine and rainbows. I want him to mess up and make mistakes. He does, but not the same way my previous characters have. For Rooster, it feels a bit out my hands as he's being pulled along more than driving the story. His issue I think will be a lot of external factors and taking control of HIS life instead of purely severing others. Typical people pleaser stuff. A Genie just felt like that would be an issue lol I want to keep him happy go-lucky but I know he has some lessons to learn. I've taken some inspiration from Luffy/Goku and SpongeBob for his personality lol I also built his personality on frat boys in college (18-22yr olds) and people who are adrenaline junkies lol He's just always buzzing and has a hard time focusing. Definitely has ADHD. For his magic I've been taking inspiration from weird eldritch horror/ Tales from the crypt as well. I wanted there to be a bit of un-ease to him. Just slight >:3c (well that was a rant lol)

[wisteria-lodge]

What do you think about Molly Weasley?

I have a lot of thoughts about Molly Weasley. I think she’s a fantastic character,  just not in the way that JKR intended. 

I think the intention was to make Molly kind of a mama bear. Fiercely loving, fiercely protective, hot tempered… but you know. In a cute way. In a warm way. I do think that Movie!Molly threads this needle. (I also think that her bear-ears hairstyle is perhaps intentional.) 

Movie!Molly gets her big duel with Bellatrix, she gets (reasonably) annoyed at the boys for stealing the car. Her only spicy moment is the Howler… which is softened and made more comedic by 1) including a nice message for Ginny at the end 2) including a tongue-sticking-out moment, which turns the whole thing into more of a joke on Molly. Now it’s your mom being kind of weird and embarrassing… versus her public shaming you, toxic tik-tok mom style. The Howler is much worse in the book: “​​I THOUGHT YOUR FATHER WOULD DIE OF SHAME, WE DIDN’T BRING YOU UP TO BEHAVE LIKE THIS.”

So let’s talk Book!Molly, because there’s a lot there. She’s a Prewett, growing up in a more *typical* pure blood family as opposed to being a “blood traitor” Weasley. (Cedrella Black was disowned for marrying a Weasley, Lucretia Black married a Prewett no problem.)  Molly also married Arthur really young, and really quickly. It’s even lightly implied they married too quickly - 

“I just think [Bill and Fleur] have hurried into this engagement, that’s all!”  “They’ve known each other a year,” said Ron (...)   “Well, that’s not very long! I know why it’s happened, of course. It’s all this uncertainty with You-Know-Who coming back, people think they might be dead tomorrow, so they’re rushing all sorts of decisions they’d normally take time over. It was the same last time he was powerful, people eloping left, right, and center —”  “Including you and Dad,” said Ginny slyly.  “Yes, well, your father and I were made for each other, what was the point in waiting?” said Mrs. Weasley.

There’s some psychological truth to that. (Also, Molly and Arthur were 100% hooking up while at Hogwarts:)

“[The Fat Lady] was here in my time,” said Mrs. Weasley. “She gave me such a telling off one night when I got back to the dormitory at four in the morning —”  “What were you doing out of your dormitory at four in the morning?” said Bill, surveying his mother with amazement. Mrs. Weasley grinned, her eyes twinkling.  “Your father and I had been for a nighttime stroll,” she said.

And the timeline’s too fuzzy to know for sure…  but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Molly getting pregnant with Bill was one of the reasons she and Arthur got married so fast. 

It’s hard to say, because you never get a great sense of their relationship, but I’m actually not sure how compatible the two of them are, or if they would have gotten married at all if it hadn't been for the war and all these external factors. There is an ongoing conflict between them: Arthur is a political radical who seems to enjoy upsetting the Malfoys - he’s not playing nice, he doesn't have a prestigious job, he’s not getting a promotion anytime soon, and he’s fine with this. His interest in muggles is fringe counterculture stuff, and his hobby is illegal. And Molly… is pretty establishment. She wants her sons to be Head Boys and Prefects, and then she wants them to get jobs at the Ministry:

“Mum went mad at [Fred and George after finding their prank candy.] Told them they weren’t allowed to make any more of it, and burned all the order forms. . . . She’s furious at them anyway. They didn’t get as many O.W.L.s as she expected.” “And then there was this big row,” Ginny said, “because Mum wants them to go into the Ministry of Magic like Dad, and they told her all they want to do is open a joke shop.”

Like we hear about this interaction secondhand, which softens the emotion, but I’m sorry? Molly burned their order forms? She wants them to do jobs they very clearly have no aptitude for, instead of being entrepreneurs? Arthur sides with the twins, and of course he does. They’re anarchists just like he is. But it *really* bothers Molly, and this conflict just keeps coming up. 

[sidenote. You cannot tell that Arthur Weasley, once he was in his late 20s/early 30s, once he had grown into himself a bit. Tell me that this man didn’t once think “you know, I really should have married a Muggle. That would’ve been perfect.”’]

But back to Molly Weasley, nee Prewett. She wants a big family, and there is no way this doesn't have something to do with the fact that both her brothers were just brutally killed. She’s trying to distract herself, fill some void, find some meaning. The fact that it doesn’t work (because how could it, she’s got just buckets of unprocessed trauma) is maybe why she is so set on having a girl. Maybe a little baby girl is what she needs. 

In the main timeline of the book, Molly 100% needs enrichment. She needs to start breeding alpacas or join a book club or get a job. (Job could be cool, especially since she has no kids at home and money is an issue.) Like come on, Molly is intense, Type A, and powerful. Possibly one of the best duelists in the entire series. She takes out Voldemort’s number two, and Bellatrix has already defeated Sirius - incredibly talented and powerful in his own right. I do think that the reason JKR made this choice (instead of letting Neville have a confrontation with Bellatrix, which would have been more narratively straightforward) is because (whether consciously or unconsciously) she doesn’t like the idea of one of her good-guy GUY characters hurting a woman. So Molly defeats Bellatrix with magic mom powers, which is the same reason Narcissia can lie to Voldemort’s face I guess.

What Molly definitely does NOT need to be doing is obsessing about her kids' significant others. Like take Fleur. (Who I think we as readers were meant to dislike more than we actually did?)  Fleur is great. So when Molly has a problem with her… then starts trying to matchmake Bill with Tonks… until Tonks (another fan favorite) also starts annoying her… it makes Molly looks really unreasonable. Also, let Bill have his long hair and earring. 

She gets weird about Hermione in Book 4, after she believes Rita Skeeter’s write-up that she's some sort of temptress playing Harry and Krum off each other. Instead of, idk, asking Harry (who she thinks of as a surrogate son) she sends Hermione a passive-agressive comically undersized chocolate egg. Harry and Ron get huge ones. That’s not cute, or funny.

Also, Percy and Penelope Clearwater. I know the real-world reason Percy hides his relationship in Book 2 is so he can be a red herring acting all suspicious… but in universe, I guess Percy just wants to date someone without his mom being weird about it? Like Penelope Clearwater is nice and normal and fine. Why is he hiding this relationship?

Then there’s Molly the disciplinarian, which we mostly see in the context of Fred and George (although there is also Ron being public-shamed by the Howler.) She is constantly giving the twins a hard time about their life choices, their jokes. Ron says “I remember Mum walloping Fred with her broomstick." Then yeah, she burns their order forms. She does feel bad about this later, and after the whole thing at the Quidditch World Cup hugs them and says, “What if You-Know-Who had got you, and the last thing I ever said to you was that you didn’t get enough O.W.L.s?” It’s meant to be a sweet moment, but this would annoy me just a little. It’s a little like saying, “I’m glad I don’t have to think of myself as being a bad mother.” 

I also want to point out Molly's pretty clear favoritism. Fred and George are the problem children, Ginny is the baby (although we almost never see her and her mother interact, so it’s actually very hard to say what their relationship is like), and Percy is the golden child. We see how this sort of sets him apart from all his siblings, how he's described as pompous and full of himself, but also how he’s secretive and hides things from his family. It’s kind of precarious being the golden child, and when he finally does stop pleasing his mother he falls hard. (Although I will always be a big believer in Daddy Issues!Percy. That has to be why he commits that hard to Barty Crouch Sr that fast, and then ignores that many red flags.) 

And of course Ron is the invisible child. Almost the first thing we hear him say is, “She always forgets I don’t like corned beef.” That one can slide. Molly’s got five kids at home, she made corn beef sandwiches, not everyone is going to be equally happy. But Ron’s clothes.  Molly makes her own clothes, she's defined by her facility with household magic. She knits Ron sweaters... but at least two of them are maroon despite the fact that Ron hates maroon. His room is  plastered top to bottom in bright orange Chudley Cannons merch. She couldn’t make him an orange sweater? There’s also the issue with the dress robes. Ron clearly doesn’t like them (“Mum, you’ve given me Ginny’s new dress.”) But he is the one who cuts off the lace trim later, and he doesn’t do an amazing job. I know that it's a joke, but like. That sounds like a job for Molly.

We do get Horcrux!Hermione telling Ron that he is the “Least loved, always, by the mother who craved a daughter,” so this idea of Molly picking favorites is *kind of* in the text. But Horcrux!Hermione is wrong about Harry/Hermione being a thing, so maybe we’re meant to read this as Ron’s baseless anxiety? It doesn’t feel like that though. What it actually feels like is an unresolved plot thread. 

So here’s my take on Molly Weasley. This is someone who is pretty high-powered, who suffered a period of emotional upheaval, then got married and started having kids because she kind of thought that was what you do - and it wasn’t as fulfilling as she thought it would be. I think a lot of her comments come off as *meaner* than JKR intended, because let’s face it - JKR has a kind of mean sense of humor. And if I want to speculate further… I think there are quite a few parallels between Molly Weasley and JKR. I don't think she put them there consciously.

[fandomhopper-shit]

𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐏𝐞𝐭

Regina George x Female Reader

Summary : After the bus incident regina started to become more aware of everything around her one thing that stuck out to her was the cute girl that sat at the back of her algebra class, turns out she wasn't the only one to see that after all the girl seemed to be the Teacher's Pet

Warnings: Ooc Regina? Internal and External Homophobia, Forced Religion, Manipulation, Perverted old men,Terrible Parents, Swearing, Mentions of Forced Marriage, Protective Regina and Mild Scopophobia [Fear of Being looked at]

A/N: This is probably gonna be terrible like my other one so i will probably keep this in my drafts part 2 will come out just not eventually

Regina's Pov :

Walking back through the halls of North shore was a completely different experience for me since i wasn't the queen be anymore i started to see more of the 'background characters' as the old me would say, there were so many underrated cliques that honestly looked kinda cool and fun to hang out with for example ; The goths their make up looked so complicated but it fit them just as much as their clothes then there was the softball girls who looked like they could kick your ass but when you looked close enough they were just a bunch of goofy masc's but I would never tell any of them this to their faces I was reformed but I was still Regina George.

I walked into my Homeroom and saw a new teacher, I guess since it was a new year so there were bound to be some new people but what really caught my eye was the girl sat in the back of the classroom near the window, she was pretty. Really pretty. She wore a red oversized hoodie that was covered in white stars that were painted on there were other splatters of paint on it which just made it all the more unique then she had a plaid skirt that fell comfortably onto her thighs she wore thigh high socks with vans that once again had stars painted all over them but this time they re painted baby pink. It was adorable she looked too innocent to be going to a school like North shore.

I snapped out of my daze when the final bell rang I looked around for new seat and lit up when i saw one in front of the cutie, I quickly walked towards it before any other jock could take it. When i sat down she glanced away from the window towards me and a look of fear i think passed her face i couldn't tell because her face went blank as soon as she looked back at the window completely ignoring my presence I frowned and turned my head back around to see the new teacher looking at her with a weird glint in his eye it made me suspicious but i pushed it aside when he started speaking.

I think i could speak for everyone when I say we were surprised at the strong Southern accent the man had "Y'all bring to your books out we're gonna be looking' over some extra stuff y'all'd've see last year" He paused and let his eyes scan the entire classroom looking onto the girl behind me who refused to raise her head and meet his gaze and for some reason he smirked showing off his rancid brown smoker teeth then he went back to having a passive look, something about him made me and all the other girls and guys in class extremely uncomfortable he was watching us as if we were pieces of meat or worse Toys "Alright everyone My name is Mr Rockefeller, y'all will address me as such ye hear." He had a threatening undertone causing everyone even the football jocks to shrink into thir seats and nod.

The lesson went on and the uncomfortable energy increased especially when he was walking round the classroom 'helping' students with the work, by pure luck he didn't come over to me but he did spend half the lesson with the mystery girl behind me whispering things to her i could hear her swallowing and shuffling uncomfortably in her seat. I couldn't hear everything he was saying but i definitely caught bits and pieces that made me sick to my stomach, the bell rang and we all rushed towards the door I was about to make it out the door when I heard him call someone back "Ms (L/N) please stay behind I' do like to discuss some matters with you," He had the same weird glint in his eyes as he had at the start of the lesson it was unnerving and borderline predatory my posture stiffened i wanted to say something but my body didn't let me luckily Ms Norbury came in "Mr Rockefeller i'm sorry but Miss (L/N) must come with me to sort out the rest of classes as well as her clubs that her parents signed her up for her," She said not noticing the tense atmosphere in the room, i didn't even notice the breath that left my body.

Ms Norbury turned to me "Ah Regina just the girl i wanted to see, as a part of your new leaf you wouldn't mind if you could show miss (L/N) around the school and take her to her clubs you wouldn't mind that would you Great thank you," she rushed past me after a message popped up on her phone, leaving me stood in the entrance of the classroom while the new teacher and Student were stood in the classroom. The man looked like he was about to murder someone and the girl looked sort of relived but terrified, after a few seconds of awkward seconds she slowly walked towards me like a timid little deer avoiding my eyes and handed me a piece of paper i looked it over and realised it was practically a copy of mine, I smiled to myself "Well looks like we have very class together besides Pe but right now we have English so let's go," I gave the teacher an awkward wave as he glared at me as if i ruined his life, guiding her out the classroom we walked in silence she was constantly avoiding everyones eyes who turned to us so in response i glared at them and they turned away. Just cause i was turning a new leaf didn't mean couldn't install the fear of god into them.

We reached the classroom, walked in and i let her pick the seat she was most comfortable in which was closer to the back window I sat next to her and passed her back her schedule "After this we have History which is at top floor Then Art, Math and Lunch if you want you can sit with my friends?" I shifted in my seat nervously when she didn't reply for a good 30 seconds had i overstepped was she uncomfortable oh god shit shit shit i didn't mean to do that what do i do maybe i ca-

My spiralling was cut off when i heard a small southern voice quiet enough that i almost thought i imagined it "Your okay, don't wanna disturb y'all," She whispered letting her hair fall infant of her face to avoid my eyes as if she said something wrong, Her accent was similar to Mr Rockefeller's except more pleasant and it reminded me of a little mouse it was adorable. "We'd love to have you with us (Y/N) don't worry they'll love you," i gently let my hand hover over her arm not actually touching her but letting her know i was there, in homeroom she seemed to hate physical touch she flinched when someone brushed their hand on hers when she let them borrow a pen not to mention the way she was shaking like a leaf when Mr Rockefeller was practically pressing himself up behind her "I'll make sure they don't bombard you too much, if you get overwhelmed by them I'll take you out of there just tap my knee is that good? " the short time i've known her i guess you could say i'm protective of her.

She gave me a small smile so small in fact I almost missed it, the lesson carried on till the bell rang and everyone filed out chatting with their friends in the middle of the hall way it looked normal to me but she looked like she was overwhelmed her eyes were darting all over the place and she was shaking slightly without a single thought i hovered my hand over the small of her back and guided her to the top floor towards our history class, by the time we got there she had calmed down and was almost leaning in to my touch but i was probably imagining it we made it and the lesson went on as normal other than the teacher welcoming everyone.

@dandelions4us

[spricket-central]

when i first met Donut, i wasnt sure he'd survive the night.

i caught him while he was hiding in the folds of my bedsheets, with my cat Wembley still in pursuit. the poor thing had taken a beating: he was missing his right jumping leg, and his 2nd right walking leg appeared to be completely paralyzed, dragging behind him as he nervously skittered around in his temporary enclosure.

luckily, his injuries were purely external, and he pulled through brilliantly!

i moved him into a large enclosure with Baguette, a solitary adult female i had rescued only a week prior. she was a tad stand-offish with him at first, but the two quickly became friendly, spending most of their time hanging out together!

his paralyzed leg was eventually discarded, possibly by him gnawing it off himself. he moved about rather clumsily, only having one leg on his right side to work with his undamaged left limbs, but he seemed to have no problem getting around regardless. he loved to climb around the enclosure, and could still haul ass when he felt surprised or threatened, ahaha.

Donut was such a character. i have no idea how he managed to fit so much energy (or cucumber) into that funny little bean-shaped body. im so glad that i was able to give him a calm, easy life after his brush with death. i just wanted him to be comfortable, but he didnt just survive: he thrived.

Donut, i love you dearly, and I'll miss you and your antics so much. i promise I'll take good care of your girlfriend. im even thinking of incubating some of her eggs, so who knows, you may even end up a father!

I'll think of you tomorrow when im cutting up everybodys cucumber 💚

Donut

10/17/23 (caught) - 1/8/24

[runariya]

My Beloved Villain (JJK) • Chapter 2

pairing: hero!Jungkook x villain!female reader genre: dark romance, gore, villain!AU, hero!AU, slow burn fic rating: MDNI, 18+ warnings: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, detailed description of external autopsy and working with cadav€rs, mentions of underground fight club and mafia, mention of rap€, trauma, blood, detailed description of physical violence such as punch!ng, k!lling someone, mentions of wounds, detachment, a little bit of fluff, lies, please lmk if I forgot something word count: ~ 6.4K

a/n: This work is purely fictional. All characters and events are entirely imaginary and do not reflect reality. Content errors related to med school are not excluded. Please do not use this story as your own. No translations are allowed without permission. Thank you for understanding! 💕

prologue • 01 • masterlist • 03

The autopsy lab falls silent as everyone takes in the sight of the bodies, but your thoughts are circling around like a roundabout, gaining in speed with every turn while your gaze drifts back to Jungkook. His earlier joy has mellowed into a focused determination, the same look you’ve seen in him so many times before, but now, knowing you’ll be working side by side with him for the foreseeable future, it feels different—more intense, more charged, more dangerous.

You drag your eyes away, forcing yourself to focus, but even as Mr. Choi starts giving more detailed instructions about the cadavers, your mind keeps circling back to the same thought: how are you going to survive the next few months without losing your grip on the carefully maintained but broken facade you’ve still got somewhere in you?

The answer, as always, remains elusive, slipping through your fingers like water, leaving you with nothing but the cold certainty that this will be harder than any other project you’ve faced before. And yet, a small, treacherous part of you can’t help but look forward to it, to the chance to be near Jungkook, to see if whatever this is between you will grow or wither under the weight of the secret you carry. 

As Mr. Choi's instructions continue to wash over you, you can't help but steal another side-glance at Jungkook. He's focused, his eyes still warm but clearer as he listens intently. The sight sends a pang through you—admiration, yes, but also a deep, gnawing worry. He’s everything you used to be and somehow to the outside world still are: open, kind, brilliant in a way that shines like the sun after a long night. What would he think if he knew the truth? If he knew about the nights you spent in darkness, longing to be bathed in the blood of the guilty, driven by a vengeance that had long since consumed you, rushing like heroine through your veins?

You take a deep breath, trying again to steady yourself. There’s no room for weakness now, not when you’re about to step into a new role for him—partner, confidant, equal. You can’t let your feelings for him, whatever they might be, get in the way. You have to be stronger than that, for both your sakes.

Mr. Choi finishes his speech with a final, ominous reminder about the importance of accuracy and thoroughness in your reports, his gaze lingering on each of you as if to drive the point home. Then, with a curt nod, he gives a go for the class, leaving you all to your thoughts and the quiet hum of the cooling units.

As the group begins to disperse for the assignment, gathering their materials and exchanging murmurs about it, you find yourself rooted to the spot, your mind still whirling with everything that’s just transpired in less then thirty minutes. It’s only when Jungkook’s warm hand touches your back, giving you a gentle push, that you’re pulled back to the present.

“Come on,” he smiles, his voice light, though you can sense the excitement in his tone. “Let’s get it, yeah?”

You nod still a little absentmindedly, allowing him to lead you to your designated body. Lost in your thoughts, you barely registered that Yoongi and Hope have already begun their examination, their movements synchronised like the ticking of a clock. A few feet away, Jennie and Taehyung are absorbed in their own conversation, voices hushed but animated as they discuss the immaculate condition of their cadaver’s skin, debating whether it had once belonged to a model or beauty influencer. Ben and Juan however stand frozen before their own table right beside yours, staring at their lifeless cadaver with wide, frightened eyes, unsure where to begin.

Taking a deep breath, the sterile, cleansing scent filling your lungs as you take your designated place beside the cold, metal dissection table, your eyes trained on the white cloth draped over your cadaver, hiding it still from view. You can feel Jungkook’s gaze on you, a silent question hanging in the air between you as he now stands tall on the other side of the dissection table.

“Ready?” he asks, his voice soft, almost hesitant as he slips his hands into the sterile gloves, the latex snapping softly against his skin, while you follow suit, your fingers sliding into the cold material as well. 

You meet his eyes, offering a small, almost mechanical smile as you nod. “Ready.”

With a careful, almost reverent motion, Jungkook reaches out and lifts the cloth, revealing the body beneath. His movements are gentle, as if the man lying there might still feel something, as if he might stir awake at the slightest disturbance. You watch him with a detached curiosity, wondering why he bothers with such care. The man on the table is dead, a lifeless shell. Whatever humanity he once had is long gone. Would you have handled death as gentle as Jungkook does if you weren’t who you’ve become? You don’t dwell much on it, seeing no point in feeding into an alternative reality long forgotten.

The face of the man is revealed, his features slack in death, and something unfeeling and calculating clicks into place within you. There’s something familiar about him, something that triggers a buried memory. You shut down, pushing away the remnants of the smile you’d forced moments ago, your expression hardening as you’re consumed by the darkness that lurks within you. 

It’s that darkness that seethes repeatedly in your mind that the man lying before you resembles the first man you ever killed. And it’s that same darkness that forces you with an iron grip around your throat to look back. You try to resist, suffocating the flicker, but it only burns brighter until you’re engulfed in the burning flames of your past. 

The room was barely lit with a single desk lamp, the air suffocating your young airways with the acrid scent of cigarette smoke, walls stained with dampness, dark streaks creeping down like veins in a dying leaf. The sound of muffled cheers and shouts echoed through the small, grimy office, a space tucked away in the bowels of Seokjin’s underground fighting club. 

Seokjin stood by the window, shoulders broad and imposing even if he wasn’t doing much but looking outside and smoking silently. His dress shirt rolled up to his elbows, revealing muscular forearms that hinted at his strength, occasionally flexing with every drag of his cigar. His black hair was sleeked back as usual, and his face—sharp, chiseled, almost inhumanly perfect—void of any emotions, trained to be a mask of cool animosity. He had a presence that commanded everyone's attention, fear, power, a dangerous allure that drew you in and held you captive years ago.

“He raped her,” Seokjin grumbled through the smoke slowly escaping his lips, his voice low, honeyed, yet laced with something so much more darker. His eyes, like shards of obsidian, glinted with malice as he glanced from the moonlight at you. 

You shifted uneasily in your seat, the worn leather creaking beneath you, you were acutely aware of the dampness in the air, of the smoke curling from the ashtray on the desk, of Seokjin’s piercing gaze that seemed to strip you bare like it always did. 

He continued then, his voice becoming more and more compelling, “So, for your plan to be fruitful, it’s time to learn how to capture a man much stronger and taller than you.”

“Right,” you responded, though your voice wavered with uncertainty. You knew he was right, but the prospect of what you have to do made your stomach churn and your heart scream. 

Seokjin’s lips curled into a menacing smile, one that you’d grown familiar with during the time spent together. It was the kind of smile that promised pain and pleasure in equal measure, a smile that told you he saw you as something to be moulded, shaped, and honed into a weapon of his design. A trophy to be displayed, a beautiful raw diamond ready to be cut and polished into something lethal.

“Don���t worry, angel,” he murmured, his tone deceptively gentle as he stepped behind you, massaging your tensed shoulders with his cigar resting between his full, rosy lips. “My men and I will be nearby. If something goes wrong, I’ll be right behind you.”

The words were meant to be comforting, but the smile he sent your way twisted them into something else entirely. You nodded, swallowing your doubts and fear as you steeled yourself for what has to be done. You had no choice; you were too deep in and too close in being ready for your revenge. 

Later that night, you found yourself standing in the shadows outside a small, nondescript grocery store while its neon sign flickered weakly in the foggy cool air. You watched your target—a middle-aged man with a weathered face and a gait that spoke of confidence, of someone who didn’t fear the dark nor what’s hiding in it. He paid for his groceries with a bored expression, and headed down a narrow, barely lit alley, all while oblivious of the predator lurking in the darkness, of the eyes that followed his every move.

You slipped into the shadows, your steps silent, your presence undetectable. You were like a wraith, moving fluidly through the night, your breath shallow, your heart racing, charged, pounding like a drum calling for war. Every muscle in your body was tense, ready to spring into action at the slightest provocation. 

The man turned down another alley, this one narrower, darker, foggier, the perfect place for an ambush. You quickened your pace, your fingers tightening around the rough rope coiled in your hand. 

When you were close enough, you struck. 

Without warning, you lunged forward, the rope slicing through the air as you aimed to wrap it around his neck in a swift, decisive swing. But he was quicker than you’d anticipated, his instincts catching you off guard. He spun around just in time, his hand shooting out like a snake, his fingers clamping around your wrist in a punishing grip that restricted your arm, the muscles pulsating, signalling pain where you didn’t feel any. The force of his grip made you stumble, your balance faltering as you struggled to regain control.

Your mind raced, calculating your next move even as your body fought to keep up. The rope slipped from your grasp, useless now as you twisted your body, your free hand striking out towards his throat. The hit connected, and he grunted, his grip loosening just enough for you to wrench your wrist free. Your joint locked from the point of contact, but you pushed it aside, focusing on the man before you.

You circled him like a cat to its mouse, your eyes narrowed, every muscle in your body coiled tight with anticipation. He was bigger, stronger, his broad frame still towering over you despite his slouched form. You knew you had to be smarter, faster—use his size against him. With a growl, he lunged at you, his massive arms swinging in a wide arc meant to take you down in one blow, but you were quicker this time, slipping under his arm without a second thought.

Turning, you landed a swift kick to the side of his knee, your foot connecting with a satisfying crunch. He staggered, his leg buckling slightly, but he didn’t go down, his resilience unnerving, his strength seemingly undiminished by the hit. He growled, a low, guttural sound, and you saw the flash of anger in his eyes. He was done playing games.

But so were you.

Before you could fully react, he charged, his body flashing before your eyes as he slammed into you with the force of a freight train. The impact knocked the breath from your lungs, sending you crashing into the brick wall behind, the rough surface scraping against the skin on your back, but you barely registered the blood seeping through your shirt. You ducked just in time to avoid his fist, which smashed into the wall where your head had been a split second earlier, leaving dust raining down the brick wall.

Blood roared in your ears as you ducked and weaved, dodging his powerful blows by inches. He was relentless, each punch fuelled by aggression, each missed hit only making him more furious and faster. His fist finally connected with your ribs, a sickening crunch echoing through the alley as air rushed again out of your lungs. You gasped, your vision blurring momentarily, but you couldn’t afford to stop, not when you had the advantage of not feeling the damage he has done to you. Another punch grazed your jaw, the force sending you spinning to the ground like a puppet.

Your lip split open then, the taste of copper pooling in your mouth as you hit the cold pavement. He hovered over you, his shadow silhouetting against the faint light. Desperation crashed through you, adrenaline drowning out any other thought as you rolled to the side just as his boot came down where your head had been. You scrambled to your feet, ignoring your locked muscles and the numb throbbing in your side, the blood dripping from your mouth.

You feigned a retreat, backing away to lure him in. He took the bait, rushing at you with all the ferocity of a wild animal, too dumb to think clearly but only on instincts. But you were ready. As he closed the distance, you sidestepped at the last moment, using his momentum against him. Grabbing the rope again, this time with both hands, you swung it over his head, catching him around the neck as he stumbled past you.

His hands flew to the rope, trying to pull it away, but you were already behind him, tightening the noose with every ounce of strength you had left. He thrashed, his body convulsing as he tried to shake you off, but you held on, your grip like an vice, your mind focused solely on bringing him down and capturing him.

He swung his arm back, his elbow connecting with your side, right where he’d punched you earlier, but it didn’t faze you the slightest. You twisted the rope tighter, using his own weight to pull him off balance. His breaths came in ragged, desperate gasps, the sound like a wild animal caught in a trap with nowhere to escape.

He managed to land another hit by pure luck, his fist slamming into your shoulder, but his movements were growing weaker, more desperate. You felt the rope digging into your palms, the coarse fibres cutting into your skin. Ignoring the blood tickling down from your hands to your elbows, you twisted only harder, faster. His struggles slowed, his movements becoming jerky, uncoordinated.

“KILL HIM!” Seokjin’s voice boomed from the shadows, echoing around you from wall to wall. 

“I CAN’T!” You screamed back, the severity of the situation and the order settling into every pore. 

“I said, KILL HIM! You won’t be able to kill anyone else if you haven’t done it before!” 

Sweat dripped down your face, mixing with the blood trickling from your lip. You knew Seokjin was right—he was always right—but the truth of it twisted something deep inside you, making you want to cry, to run, to abandon it all and disappear forever and never look back. But you couldn’t. And you wouldn’t. The muscles in your arms protested from the effort, your joints locking even further in protest, but you didn’t stop. The man’s resistance finally began to fade, his hands falling limp at his sides. With one last, desperate gasp, his body went slack, collapsing to the ground with a heavy thud.

You stood over him, panting, spent, your breath coming in ragged bursts mixing with the fog engulfing the whole scene. Bending down, you grabbed him by his head with both of your small bloodied hands, and with one forceful move, turned it sideways until his neck broke. Your vision swam as the adrenaline began to wear off, the numb pressure in your ribs and shoulder intensifying with a vengeance, making moving hard. You were battered, bruised, bloodied, but you’d done it. The man lay dead at your feet, the rope still wound tightly around his broken neck.

The night was silent once more, the sounds of your struggle already fading into the darkness. You swallowed hard, trying to steady your breathing and keep the tears at bay as you wiped the blood from your split lip. The victory felt hollow, the darkness that followed after a kill creeping into your mind, suffocating your weeping heart and soul.

Then, from the shadows, Seokjin finally emerged, his face lit by the pure joy he felt seeing you kill for him. He surveyed the scene with a sparkling gaze, as if he was gifted the most precious present in the world.

“Well done, angel,” he nearly cheered, his voice dripping with wicked pride.

You nodded, but there was no triumph in your heart, only the echo of violence and the chill of the night. The darkness within you had grown, fed by the blood spilled, the life taken. As you stood there, the rope and body to your feet, you couldn’t help but wonder how much more of your soul you’d have to sacrifice before it was all over.

The memory fades, leaving you indifferent and withdrawn as you stare down at the body on the autopsy table. The resemblance to the man you’d killed all those years ago is uncanny, but you push the thought aside, knowing better than to let it distract you. 

Jungkook, unaware of the dark thoughts swirling in your mind, begins reading the personal information from the file in his hand. “Beomseok is a forty-year-old male, found deceased in his apartment. No signs of forced entry, cause of death undetermined. He had three children, two daughters and a son. All go to college. His wife is thirty-seven years old, her name is…”

“Jungkook?” you interrupt, your voice cold, devoid of any warmth.

He looks up at you, his eyes wide with curiosity, maybe even a touch of concern. “Hm?”

“I don’t care,” you say flatly, cutting him off. The look on his face tells you that your tone has caught him off guard. He’s never seen you this detached before, this devoid of the kindness you usually radiate.

He hesitates, searching your face for an explanation, but finds none. “Okay, yeah, right,” he finally says, his voice tinged with confusion, not knowing what to do or say. He quickly sets aside the clipboard, his demeanour shifting as he realises you’re not in the mood for personal talk. 

You step closer to the body, your gaze clinical as you begin the external examination. “Let’s just begin.”

Jungkook nods, following your lead as you start with a careful inspection of the outer appearance. 

You begin with the hands, lifting them to examine the nails, the skin, the joints. “No signs of defensive wounds,” you note, your voice steady as you turn the hand over, checking the palms. “No calluses either. He didn’t do much manual labor.”

“Right,” Jungkook agrees, leaning in to inspect the hands himself. “His skin is smooth, well-maintained. Maybe he had an office job, something that didn’t require much physical work.”

You move on to the arms, examining the veins, the muscle tone. “The veins are collapsed, consistent with post-mortem changes. No track marks, no signs of intravenous drug use.”

Jungkook nods, jotting down notes as you speak. “Skin turgor is decreased, typical of someone who’s been dead for at least twenty-four hours. No petechiae on the conjunctiva, so it’s unlikely he was strangled.”

You shift your attention to the torso, running your fingers along the chest, feeling for any abnormalities beneath the surface. “No broken ribs, no bruising. The sternum is intact.”

Jungkook mirrors your actions, his touch gentle as he presses down on the abdomen. “No distension. Rigor mortis is fully locked in the limbs, but I think it’s starting to resolve soon. Livor mortis is fixed, so he’s been dead for several hours.”

“Skin shows no significant lesions,” you add, your voice detached as you lift the man’s head to check the scalp. “No signs of blunt force trauma to the head…nor neck.”

Jungkook watches you carefully, his brow furrowed. He can tell something is off, that you’re more distant than usual, but he doesn’t press the issue. Instead, he continues with the examination, his voice softer now. “The pupils are fixed and dilated, no signs of hemorrhage in the sclera.”

You nod, acknowledging his words as you move to the legs, checking for any signs of injury or abnormality. “No edema, no signs of deep vein thrombosis. He was healthy, at least externally.” 

“Initial external examination of the front shows no obvious signs of trauma,” Jungkook summarises for you to write down. “No petechial haemorrhages, no contusions, no lacerations… he looks peaceful, doesn’t he?”

You don’t answer, your attention focused on your notes, but still noticing Jungkook watching you closely, his gaze following the movement of your pen. 

“He does,” you finally reply. “But looks can be deceiving.”

Jungkook glances at you, a faint smile tugging at his lips as he tries to lighten the atmosphere. “Always the pragmatist, aren’t you?”

You give him a brief nod, not meeting his eyes. Instead, you focus on jotting down the notes and handing him the clipboard.

"Let's continue with its back."

"His," Jungkook interjects, his gaze surprised, stunned even, tinged with a light sheen of anger. You can see in his eyes that he doesn’t comprehend this detachment of yours, and perhaps he never will. So you pull back, meeting him not just halfway, but where he stands, knowing it’s a small concession you’re willing to make. And at the and of the day, it truly doesn’t matter to you. 

"His back," you correct, watching as his expression shifts again, returning to his default warmth and care.

Jungkook gently shifts the body on the table, his movements careful, almost reverent, as if not wanting to disturb whatever peace the dead might still hold. "Let’s see your back," he whispered softly, his voice low with a subtle mix of respect and anticipation. You look on, switching your eyes from Jungkook to the body. It’s remarkable how respectfully he handles the dead, his personality still deeply ingrained and showing despite this environment. 

It triggers something deep within you, your kind self clawing and pounding against the locked doors of your mind, desperate to break free, to surface and take control again. But you push it back with a force that betrays your fear, making certain the locks are secure, fastened tightly so that part of you never escapes when it’s not needed. 

The body rolls onto its front with a muted thud, and you both fall into a practiced rhythm, your mind secured into that distant space where emotions need to be  locked away. 

"The scapulae are intact, no signs of trauma," Jungkook murmurs, his fingers gently tracing the bony ridges beneath the skin. The taut flesh stretches over the spine, the vertebrae visible like a faint chain beneath the surface of dead skin. 

"Livor mortis is pronounced along the lower back," he continues, pointing out the purplish mottling that has settled, staining the skin in uneven patches. "Consistent with the body lying supine after death."

You nod, leaning in to inspect it more closely, your fingers gliding over the skin beside Jungkook’s, checking for anything out of place. "No signs of movement post-mortem," you add, your voice clinical. 

You pause, catching a slight tremor in Jungkook’s voice, the faintest hint of something personal creeping through his professional exterior, but the flash in his eyes disappears as fast as his tremor. "I don’t see any indications of a struggle, no bruising or abrasions."

He nods, his eyes scanning the back with a careful intensity. "No obvious signs of external trauma," he echoes, his brow furrowing in concentration. "Time of death estimate aligns with the rigidity and the lividity. Likely around eight to ten hours ago."

Your fingers continue their examination, pausing at a small blemish—a freckle, now just another detail in the report. "The muscles are indeed stiff, rigor mortis fully set in as you said,“ you observe, your tone matter-of-fact, as if discussing a routine case of a textbook, though your mind is miles away. "This aligns with your estimate. The body’s been undisturbed."

Jungkook glances at you, a hint of curiosity in his eyes as he asks, "Do you ever wonder about who they were? What their life was like?"

You meet his gaze, the question hanging in the air like an unwanted intruder. A part of you wants to answer, to slip into the role of the person he knows, but the darker side of you has already taken over and doesn’t back down. "No," you state, your voice cold, dismissive. "It doesn’t matter now. We’re here to determine how they died, not who they were."

He blinks, surprised by the sharpness in your tone, but nods, accepting your words. "Right," he agrees, though there’s a hesitation there, a moment where you see the empathy in him, something you can’t afford. 

Each question from Jungkook reverberates through the hollow chambers of your mind, calling again and again for the part of you that you’re trying so desperately to cage while handling death. His words are like keys, unlocking the doors you’ve bolted shut, making that lighter side of you stir and rise, stronger, louder, more insistent with every syllable he utters. 

It’s a delicate dance, this push and pull within yourself, a balance you have to master if you are to navigate the semester by his side. You realise with a growing sense of dread and exhaustion that you must learn quickly—how to respond to him without slipping too far into the gentle persona he knows, for your own sake and mind, and without letting the killer within emerge fully from the shadows. The lines are beginning to blur, the edges of your dual selves bleeding into each other, and you wonder if and how long you can keep them separate.

Without a warning, a deafening slap echos through the room, the unmistakable sound of flesh meeting tile. Instinctively, you turn to find Ben and Juan standing helpless beside their dislodged cadaver, its lifeless body sprawled across the floor. The clumsy attempt to turn it had clearly gone awry in all its glory. 

Jungkook, always quick to lend a hand, rounds your table, but you halt him with a firm, “Stop.” He freezes mid-way, eyes wide as he looks back to you, and the room stills. Everyone’s attention hovers on you, suspended in the silence as if waiting for some deeper explanation. 

You break the tension, your voice the coldest it’s every been. “It’s their body. They need to learn how to handle it properly themselves—and if not, they should learn how to correct their mistakes.” 

The words leave your mouth without hesitation, even though your lighter side inside you protests at the detachment. Jungkook, visibly taken aback, stares at you as though he’s seeing a stranger. Still, he returns to his place beside the table, not leaving his eyes stray from you as you  watch as Ben and Juan awkwardly manoeuvre their cadaver back onto the table.

Once everything resumes and you turn back, Jungkook leans in, his voice soft but filled with disbelief. “What was that? You always help. That wasn’t like you.”

You meet his gaze, your expression hard, impenetrable. “This isn’t a textbook, Jungkook. It’s a human body. If they can’t handle it, maybe they should reconsider their career.”

Jungkook stands there, visibly shaken by your words, mouth open, his brows furrowing as he wrestles with the dissonance between the person he thought he knew and the one now standing before him. Sensing the weight of his confusion, you steer him back to the project, eager to salvage him from the spiraling thoughts that threaten to cloud his mind and risk further questions.

"Let’s move on," you say, already stepping back from the body, the examination of the back complete anyway. "We’ve got a report to do as well."

Jungkook’s eyes linger on you for a moment, as if trying to read the thoughts behind your composed exterior. "Yeah," he says finally, his voice softening. "How about we grab some coffee? We can work on the report together."

You pause, the unexpected offer catching you off guard. But then you nod, forcing a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes. 

"Sure," you say, already pushing the darker thoughts to the back of your mind. "Coffee sounds good."

You strip off your gloves with a smooth flick of your wrists, the latex snapping as it peels soaked with sweat away from your skin, the cadaver’s earthly remains now tucked into the cooler's sterile abyss. The faint metallic hiss of the door sealing shut behind goes unnoticed by you as you gather your belongings. Jungkook is at your side, silent but watching, his eyes following your movements with prying concern that he doesn’t bother to hide. As you both step into the corridor and finally onto the park, the oppressive air of the lab seems to lift like a spell, and when the afternoon sun greets your frozen skin, it is as though in an instant a switch is flipped inside you. The darkness within you recoils with a hiss, retreating like a vampire scorched by daylight. And it’s when you inhale deeply, that the warmth of the sun floods your senses with clarity, like fresh air filling a long-forgotten room.

Jungkook falls into step beside you, slowing his pace, though you notice his mind is still wrapped around the events of the past class. The two of you head towards the coffee shop on campus, a quiet cozy stroll that allows the tension of the lab to dissipate off your muscles. You glance over at him, catching his profile, the way his dark hair shifts in the light breeze while his arms swing softly with every step he takes. You’re the first to break the silence, sensing the need to soften the edges of your awkward interaction.

"How was your weekend, by the way?" you ask, keeping your tone light, as if the lab and its strange, unsettling energy was years behind you both.

Jungkook blinks at the question, almost as though he hadn’t expected it. „Huh?“ 

"I noticed your absence in the group," you try softly, gentle, like the way he knows you. "Even though you're mostly quiet, you're always… there, you know? Present. But you weren’t this weekend.“ The words linger for a while, your honesty catching him obviously off guard.

„Oh, it was good," a small smile tugs at his lips. "Spent it with my family. My brother came home from overseas, so it was a bit of a reunion."

You nod, your eyes sweeping over the campus as you walk the short distance, enjoying the moment with Jungkook to its fullest. His cheeks flush a faint shade of pink, but he masks it by pushing open the door to the coffee shop, holding it for you with an air of politeness that feels almost bashful. Inside, you step up to the counter and place your orders, the familiarity of the ritual, despite your friend group not being complete, settling your nerves entirely. You slide into a worn booth, Jungkook across from you, his gaze soft but still attentive as it always is.

And for the first hour, the two of you dive into the report, dissecting the details of the external autopsy while joking occasionally. As the work dwindles down, you lean back in your seat, stretching slightly mirroring Jungkook. With the weight of the first part of the report lifted, the conversation between you begins to shift into something lighter, more personal. It’s a natural transition, easy in a way you hadn’t expected after the tension of the lab or rather being alone with him. Jungkook talks about his family again—about his brother’s plans job, about the little traditions they’ve maintained. You find yourself smiling at the warmth in his voice, enjoying him having a complete, healthy and happy family.

"You know," you tease, a small smirk on your lips, "this feels a bit like a date, doesn’t it?"

Jungkook’s eyes widen slightly, his cheeks once again dusted with that faint blush. He shifts in his seat, chuckling nervously. "It could be… if you wanted it to be," he replies softly, eyes locked steadily onto yours, though there’s an unmistakable shyness in the way he looks at you, as if he’s bracing for rejection but daring to still hope.

For a moment, you falter. The thought lingers, hangs in the space between you, tantalising in its simplicity, but the weight of your split reality crashes against it like a tidal wave. You can’t afford to entertain such possibilities—at least, not now, not when your plan isn’t executed and completed. Your mind whirls with the implications, the future, the darkness still lurking inside you, waiting for night to fall again.

Instead of answering, you look down at your coffee, watching the way the light reflects off its surface, wondering what drove you to even tease him in the first place. It’s easier to ignore the undercurrent of feeling, to push it aside. But Jungkook, undeterred by your silence or just hoping to save what’s left, continues the conversation, his voice mellow despite not receiving an answer. And tt’s easy, this back-and-forth of conversation, the small confessions of likes and dislikes of mundane things, the simple joys of everyday life. Without you noticing, he’s peeling back layers with each sentence, not realising himself how dangerous it could be if he got too close.

His next question catches you off guard. "I never asked," he begins, his tone curious, light. "How did you get into medicine?"

You glance up, your heart stuttering in your chest. You should have seen this coming. Jungkook’s eyes are wide with expectation, with a yearning to know you, perhaps the you beneath the layers of control and masks. But you can’t give him that—not yet, not ever, if you can help it.

"Medicine?" You feign a thoughtful expression, playing dumb as if you hadn’t already anticipated where this conversation was headed.

"Yes… no, just generally. What brought you here?" His eyes are earnest, filled with the desire to understand. 

It hits you, he wants to hear your story, wants to hear which arrows have pierced you, which made you bleed, sometimes less, sometimes until no blood was left. For a fleeting moment, you want to, you want to tell him all, offering the the broken pieces of your heart and soul up with trembling hands for him to take. You imagine him standing before you, fixing them how you know he’d be able to, letting him be the one, who fights your battles where you’re too weak to even protect yourself from the blows. To stand tall before you, so you finally can heal. 

But it’s only a fleeting moment that passes like the seasons, and so you hide away and lie „I’ve always been fascinated by the human body. I guess it just seemed like a natural choice—to want to help people."

It’s the safest answer, the one that reveals nothing of the truth.

Jungkook looks at you for a long moment, as though he senses there’s more, but before he can press further, a sudden commotion draws your attention. A girl nearby stumbles, her books scattering across the floor in a chaotic mess and without hesitation, you rise from your seat, moving to help her gather them up. 

„Here let me help,“ it’s instinctive, the part of you that seeks to protect and aid still very much alive despite it all.

"Thank you," the girl breathes, her voice filled with relief as you hand her the last of her papers. She smiles up at you, eyes shining with gratitude.

"You're welcome," you reply warmly, returning to your seat right after. Jungkook watches you, his expression caught somewhere between admiration and the newfound confusion. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, his gaze lingering on you as though he’s trying to piece together the contradictions you continue to present for the first time to him.

You settle back into the booth, your thoughts swirling again, but you catch sight of the setting sun and the time on your phone, and pack your things, briefly looking him in his dark eyes. „I have to go.“

Jungkook’s brow furrows slightly. "I thought we could grab dinner, maybe…?" His voice is hopeful, laced with a quiet plea which makes your heart squeeze on itself.

„I really can’t,“ you reply, the smile on your lips wavering. "I’ve got something to take care of." Before he can protest, you add quickly, "But another time! I’d love to…if you would still like to…“

„Of course!“ He stands with you without much thought. His hesitation is clear in the way his hands fidget at his sides, but after a short moment he steps closer, and for the first time, he pulls you into a hug. It’s brief, tentative, but warm, his arms wrapping around you with a gentleness that nearly breaks you in half.

You stiffen slightly but manage to return the gesture, pulling away quickly before the contact lingers too long. "Goodnight, Jungkook," you say, not meeting his eyes but offering him one last smile before turning on your heel and heading out the door.

The campus is quiet as you make your way back to your dorm, the sun now beginning to dip behind the horizon. And as the darkness creeps over your path, so too does the other side of you—the side that laughs menacingly within the corners of your mind, knowing that tonight, blood will be spilled. The first name on your list awaits, and nothing will stop you from striking.

prologue • 01 • masterlist • 03

a/n 3: hope you've enjoyed it👀 lmk what you think in any way you like!

a/n 4: please send me a message, ask or comment if you would like to be tagged for upcoming chapters 💕 also - character asks and drabble requests are open

Like what you read? Check out my other work here!

All Rights Reserved © @/runariya 2024

taglist: @darkeneddiary, @dumbheadblog, @jksusawife, @jayhoneybeecomb, @kookienooki, @hagridshaircare 

[erisweekofficial]

Today we're highlighting @acourtofladydeath, creator and mastermind behind @polyacotarweek. She's written so many amazing pieces about Eris across multiple ships and genres. And if you find yourself wanting to explore other characters, she's got you covered with her masterlist of 30+ works on AO3.

🧡 Looking for something deeply emotional and poignant? Please start with LD's favorite fic, All Things End (Azris). 🎧 It even has a playlist. 🎧

🔥 If you're looking for a good horny time, try Welcome to the Family, which features Elain x Eris or Rules are Rules (Azris). You're in for a good time with those two. Especially if you like Beron.

Read on to learn more about LD's writing process + some advice for writing about Eris...

What themes do you like to explore in your work with Eris?

I really enjoy exploring the juxtaposition and depth of Eris. He needs to act a certain way to protect the people he loves and keep his place within the Autumn Court under his father. But does he want to act that way? How soft is he, or is he actually as mean as he seems? I like when he's a bit of both. I think he's a very protective person, and I enjoy exploring the different ways that manifests with different people. I also think he's experienced a lot of trauma in his life, and I'd be remiss if I didn't say I enjoy exploring that and how it influences both his external and internal persona.

What other characters do you enjoy writing about alongside Eris?

Three favorites, three different relationships: My favorite person to ship Eris with is Azriel, and I love writing different iterations of their relationship. Some are softer, others are spicier, and then there's the really sad takes. There's so much give and take with these two and it's so fascinating to play around with. I love writing Eris and Nesta as best friends. Their wit is so well matched, as is their lived experiences with their siblings and parents. They have so much overlap, and you can write them funny or feeling and any combination in betwell. Plus, who says friends can't fuck? Not me. The third person is Lucien. I really enjoy exploring their familial relationships. Were they close as kids? If they hate each other, have they always? How does this relate to their relationships with their parents and other brothers? There's so many different ways to skin this cat and I want to write them all.

What's your favorite piece you've created featuring Eris and why?

I hemmed and hawed over this question forever, but I think the fic that fits best is "All Things End." This fic is pure bittersweet angsty sadness. What if Beron's torture gave Eris incurable dementia? How would his mate, Azriel, their children, and Lucien handle the situation? CW for dementia, death, and grief. I created two playlists for this fic: one that's a direct accompaniment and another that's an extended cut. The direct playlist is timed to the reading length of the fic, and specific songs play during specific scenes to enhance the reader experience (AKA bring more tissues).

Do you have any advice for other creators wanting to make eris content?

Eris is a character that we don't know much about compared to others in the series. When I go to write him I start with what we do know: his father's abuse, he's a general, he protected Lucien, we don't have the whole story about the Mor situation. He's cunning, so you know that what you see isn't all there is. I like to build backward. What from canon do I want to focus on? How does canon tie into whatever type of fic I'm writing? Why does he act the way he acts, and how does that tie into his canon history and the plot/theme/characterization of my fic? This helps build up the layers that are so integral to who I think Eris is as a character. Complex, captivating, keeps you on your toes. And don't forget his gold jewelry.

[mostlyvoid-partiallyflowers]

The most recent episode of Interview with a Vampire let's us see Lestat's side of the story and see how it compares to Louis' accounting of their relationship. As a result, it reaffirms just how unreliable of a narrator Louis is, but it also further illuminates elements of his character that the director and writers have been playing with since the beginning of the show.

There's this part in the episode where Lestat turns to Louis and apologizes and it's framed with Lestat turned to Louis on one side and Claudia on his other side. They're the angel and devil on Louis' shoulders, but who is the angel and who is the devil? And as my friend said, Armand and Daniel are placed into that same dynamic with Louis later on. We are being asked to decide who to trust, who's telling the truth, who's the good guy, but the fact of unreliability robs us of that decision.

This whole story is about Louis, he's the protagonist, though not the narrator, and he is constantly being pulled in two directions, no matter when or where he is in his story. He's a mind split in two, divided by nature and circumstance. He's vampire and human, owner and owned, father and child, angel and devil. He's both telling the story and being told the story. His history is a story he tells himself, and as we've seen, sometimes that story is not whole.

Louis is the angel who saved Claudia from the fire but he's also the devil who sentenced her to an life of endless torment, the adult trapped in the body of a child. He's the angel who rescued Lestat from his grief and also the devil who abandoned him, who couldn't love him, could only kill and leave him.

He's pulled in two directions, internally and externally at all times and so it's no wonder that he feels the need to confess, first to the priest, then Daniel, and then Daniel again.

He's desperate to be heard, a Black man with power in Jim Crow America who's controlled by his position as someone with a seat at the table but one who will never be considered equal. He doesn't belong to the Black community or the white community, he can't. He acts as a go-between, a bridge, one who is pushed and pulled until he can't take it anymore. He's a fledgling child to an undead father, he's a young queer man discovering his sexual identity with an infinitely experienced partner. He's confessing because he wants to be absolved, that human part of him that was raised Catholic, that child who believed, he wants to be saved. He wants to be seen.

Louis wants to attain a forever life that is morally pure, but he can't. He's been soiled by sin, by "the devil," as he calls Lestat, and he can never be clean again. Deep down, I think he knows this, but he can't stop trying to repent. He tries to self-flagellate by staying with Lestat and then tries to repent by killing him, but can't actually follow through. He follows Claudia to Europe to try and assuage his guilt. He sets himself on fire, attempts to burn himself at the stake, to purify his body, rid himself of the dark gift.

Louis is a man endlessly trying to account for the pain he has caused and he ultimately fails, over and over again, because he can't get rid of what he is. A monster. He's an endlessly hungry monster. He's hungry for love, for respect, for power, for forgiveness, for death. He's a hole that can never be filled. He can never truly acquire any of those things because he will always be punishing himself for wanting and needing them in the first place. He will never truly believe he deserves them and as a result, can't accept them if they are ever offered. He can never be absolved for he has damned himself by accepting the dark gift and thus has tainted himself past the point of saving.

[vindicated-truth]

Whenever I do an analysis of any character, I try my best to analyze them from a writing standpoint: whether or not they're well-written characters, regardless of their morality.

And even with regards to their actual morality, I try my best to not be too black and white about it, precisely because even in real life, every action has nuances and context that have to be taken into account.

It's why I can still write something good about characters like Do Haewon and Lee Changjin, both in terms of how complex they are as characters, and how despite their undeniable immorality, they have aspects to their characters that makes them more well-rounded, and not the caricature and flatness of textbook "evil". This can be seen with Haewon's love for Jeongje and her overall agency and power in the story, and the innocence Changjin has for both his ambition and for Jihwa, and his somewhat pitiful loyalty to Han Kihwan.

It's also why it cannot even be said that the so-called protagonists of the show are completely moral or good; every single character, from the main leads Lee Dongsik and Han Joowon, to every single person surrounding them—Kwon Hyeok, Oh Jihwa, Oh Jihoon, Yoo Jaeyi, Nam Sangbae, Cho Gilgu, Hwang Gwangyoung, Kwak Ohsub, Kang Minjeong, Lee Sangyeob—have consciously made decisions that aren't completely moral, or even legal, and have in varying degrees hurt other people because of their own actions.

One of Beyond Evil's greatest strengths is the portrayal of this remarkable depth and complexity to their characters.

Which is why fascinatingly, I cannot write anything good about Han Kihwan at all.

He does not have any redeeming qualities to him both in terms of his morality or the depth and well-roundedness of his character. Unlike Do Haewon or Lee Changjin, Han Kihwan isn't motivated by anything external of himself.

Even Kang Jinmook is motivated by an external locus, however completely immoral and inexcusable: his perception of women "belittling" him as his guise for his outright misogyny and inhumane brutality.

The same can be said even for Jung Cheolmun, as shallow as his external motivations are: his greed and shamelessness in manipulating everyone around him to forward his own career and wealth, regardless of the consequences.

But Han Kihwan, remarkably, is the flattest character of all.

He has no external motivation, which means he's not driven by anything outside of himself. He has no external motivation for love or loyalty (like Do Haewon or Lee Changjin) or even pure unabashed and unchecked hatred for someone else (like Kang Jinmook). He didn't do anything worthwhile himself, didn't take risks or initiatives—however stupid or unplanned, like Jung Cheolmun—to further his own goals.

He just—didn't do much of anything. He let other people do the work for him. And he's not even motivated by anything—whether out of love or hatred—other than himself.

And when you think about it—isn't that the point of Beyond Evil? That when you unmask the true monster behind the scenes, they're the most disappointing of all?

Because that's what our society is like. That's what the true monsters in our lives are like.

The truest evil can be found in people who are weak and cowardly, because a true monster is someone who cares for nothing and no one else other than their own self.

[the-s1lly-corner]

TADC characters x reader crying and the characters are trying to calm the reader down

TADC cast finding the reader crying!

WOOOOOO so sorry for not getting to requests sooner, i was busy today and caught up in doing a bunch of baking orders! yahoo! i made a buncha scones today and churros :)! i might make pretzels tomorrow for myself also ive never watched one piece but im absolutely obsessed with chopper VV

CAINE:

"now now my dear, what's wrong?" immediately takes you off to a private area away from prying eyes and ears. surprisingly a good listener, i mean he cares about you so so much, youre like. his number one, so of course hes going to be looking out for you. tries his best to cheer you up, regardless of whats making you so upset; another circus member, being overwhelmed, or your brain just being mean... this man would literally carry the world for you.. well a digital world, but the sentiment still stands i think..! just say the word and hes going to do whatever it takes to cheer you up!

POMNI:

very awkward comforter, i think i might have said this somewhere; in fact i may have had a similar request to this a while ago but i truly do not remember and i cant be bothered to look through the sea of TADC stuff ive written... but she would be SO bad at comforting people; like she just stands there before awkwardly patting your back. and thats assuming she goes through with the action, theres a solid chance she just. asks outright if youre okay in this nervous voice trying to be gentle. its not her fault i prommy, shes just bad at comforting people. offers to take you to her room so you have some privacy, kind of just lets you let it all out

RAGATHA:

again i might be biased for ragatha because ive really fallen in love with her since i opened up requests but she would be the absolute queen of comfort. speaks in a really soft voice as she takes you off to yours or her room, sets you down on the bed and lets you lean on her for support (metaphorically and literally!). gives you the softest blankets and pillows, and simply lets you pour your heart out. asks if you want comfort or solutions; because both have their time and place i think. sometimes you want solutions, and sometimes you just want pure comfort. ragatha gets it. and whichever one you want, shes going to deliver on it! will likely take it upon herself to try to solve the issue if its an external thing that made you upset. 10/10 love her

JAX:

believe or not i think he would be the type to try to confront the thing upsetting you yourself, especially if it was someone who had upset you. best way i can explain it is like. you know that one pizza episode of spongebob where squidward stands up for spongebob to that rude customer who made him cry? it would have the same energy, i think. asshole who actually has a heart stepping in to defend someone when there needs to be justice type deal. now if he was the one who made you upset, say by one of his pranks, then it might take him a minute for the guilt to kick in but it would be there... eventually. does feel bad, tries to cheer you up and does try to apologize, i think

KINGER:

oddly enough i think he would be up there in terms of how good he is with comforting people! i say odd because he seems so out of it a lot of the time. but i think the second he sees your tears hes just laser focused. very similar to ragatha in terms that he takes you away and lets you speak. to the pillow fort! lets you cry into the fur of his robe, too... rubs circles into your back. this man carries the same level of comfort that sweet old people carry, if that makes sense. the type of person so say "ive got you" when comforting someone, i think

ZOOBLE:

has to do a double take when they see you crying. like pomni i think theyre bad at comforting... but not as much, if that makes sense. if it was someone who had made you upset, they probably try to tell you that they arent worth the time of day and that youre better than them. strikes them with the curse of them also giving you awkward back and shoulder pats, but its even more awkward and uncomfortable because they have weird hard plastic hands. look, ok. theyre trying, theyre likely trying their best too- honestly i think their main form of comfort is talking shit about the person or thing that made you feel bad

GANGLE:

honestly she might cry with you. admittedly i dont see gangle herself being the best comforter when someone is crying; especially if its someone she cares so deeply about. i think like everyone else, she would gently take her hands in yours and guide you off to the side so you can have some privacy and decency. she does try her best to try to cheer you up; and i think that she would have better luck with it if her comedy mask isnt broken! but if it is, its likely that shes going to cry with you. probably leads to vent sesh between the two of you where you vent to one another and cry. hey, that works too, i think! not to say that she is trying to purposefully trying to make it about herself too, but like. her way of empathizing with you. "oh hey we're both having a bad day, let me show how i can relate to you so you feel less alone" type deal

[arcane-ish]

Arcane Act 1 - Everybody ends up where they don't want to be and why that is a problem

In my first reaction I talked a bit about structural weaknesses and after a bit of sleep one thing popped into my head. I tried to get not spoiled too much but one of the few things I read that there was an interview and somebody from the writing team said that in a way everybody ends up where they don't want to be or something a long those lines.

I think this theme is heavily present in Act 1 already and I think this is kind of a structural writing problem. Because it is usually fundamentally more interesting to see characters have a goal and try to achieve it and either get it or fail than for characters to be pushed into something by higher powers.

The additional problem is that so far in Act 1 we haven't always seen enough of what the characters want instead. So character A wants X, but is forced into Y.

Let's go into detail:

Back when I read the spoiler I assumed it would be something like that:

Jinx ends up as a revolutionary

Vander who wanted to curb his violence ends up as a violent beast

Vi ends up as a cop

Caitlyn ends up in a position of power and influence

Ekko ends up working with Piltover even though he wants to protect his people

Now that Act 1 has rolled around we concrete have:

Vi taking the badge

Caitlyn being thrust into leading Piltover (maybe being thrust into her mother's spot)

Viktor becoming an object of worship without wanting that

We see the first traces of Jinx becoming a freedom fighter and Ekko being pulled into working for Piltover.

Ironically, I think I've been enjoying the story of Mel and Ambessa (I know I'm probably in the minority) because that theme feels least present with them so far or at least they seem to be acting more along the lines of their genuine interest still.

Mel

Mel wants to protect Piltover in her way and doesn't trust her mother. She is also forced by circumstances to do stuff she doesn't like (like agreeing to the invasion) but she's still overall pursuing her interests (trying to figure out what Ambessa's plan is, trying to soften the murderous interests of the rest of the council). Maybe in the future her "ends up where she doesn't want to be" will be her working with her mother or becoming like her.

Ambessa

Ambessa of cource we find out is being hunted by the Black Rose, so I presume her "I don't want to be here" is being in Piltover. But she still feels like she's expressing her personality and making moves and being proactive within the situation she finds herself in. Maybe her ending up doing the opposite of what she wants will be either protecting Piltover or having to fight her own daughter (maybe a Black Rose possesed Mel).

Their stories are more fun to me because they are still in the "want" phase and not in the "forced" phase.

Caitlyn

Next we have Caitlyn. I think she's actually one of the better ones (again I presume many people will disagree with me on that). For one she actually gets some room to express what she wants. She wants peace (scene where sits at her mother's pond). She wants like Mel to soften the blow of Piltover against Zaun to some extent. We can infer that she wants a happy life with Vi (though I think that could have been really driven home if we had gotten a dream sequence which makes it clear: yes what she really wants is sit in a flower field and hold hand and play footsie with Vi, thus making it more tragic when her actions end up driving them apart).

It also benefits from her conflict not being purely external "Ambessa pushed her into taking power", but being actually an internal conflict. She wants to be a good person, but she also wants revenge and struggles with those feelings and her growing prejudice.

Viktor

With Viktor the whole "forced" is most present. He probably wasn't planning to be a prophet, it just sort of happens to him. I think his story is still weak because we have seen very little of what he actually wants. We can infer if we remember season 1 that he wants peace and hextech not being used for war. But in the show it feels very "oh, yeah, gotta go."

Vi

Vi of course ends up taking the badge. I think her story suffers because to me it feels very muddled what she wants at the moment. She wants to help apprehend Jinx. We presume she wants to be with Caitlyn.

Also her "forced" push is pretty unimpressive (like really? being flattered that Caitlyn praised her to other people plays a role?). She protects people almost out of instinct (ie the chemtech attack on the council).

In season 1 Vi's wants were a huge driver of the whole story. Vi wants to prove herself that's why she organizes the heist, Vi wants to make up for the mess she made with the botched heist, Vi wants to protect her family and save Vander, Vi wants to find her sister, Vi wants to rescue Jinx from Silco's influence.

Every single one of her wants ended up blowing up in her face and that made up the deep tragedy of season 1. We like Vi, we care about Vi's wants and hurts us to see her fail. She wants to prove herself but brings tragedy on the Lanes, she wants to turn herself in but gets foiled, she wants to save Vander, but he dies, she wants to find her sister and when she does it turns out that her sister is a different person, she wants to pry Jinx from Silco's influence but it turns out Jinx really enjoys it and there is no way bring Powder back.

In season 2 her wants feel pretty muddled and much weaker. She wants to apprehend Jinx with the task force. She feels bad and guilty over Caitlyn's mom. She presumably wants to be with Caitlyn.

I think it worth noting that there is IMO no strong drive to protect Zaun. I think a lot of fans probably perceived her as this is something she should feel, but IMO I genuinely don't see it.

Vi is somebody who suffers from being perceived as a Zaunite, she has some loyalty in the sense that she doesn't take the badge, but I genuinely don't get a deep connection between her and Zaun. Vi I think is more universal in that if she sees anybody getting attacked she wants to step in and help, there is no special loyalty to her people. She defends the Pilties when the Chembarons attack, she stands up to Caitlyn when Isha is in the line of fire. There are hints of Vi having a codex but I feel unclear on what exactly that codex is (no killing kids? no kiling at all? no killing except proven guilty people?).

Please note how at no point when the subject was on attacking Zaun she brought up Ekko (ie come on Caitlyn, you know there are good people down there, such as Ekko, or no attempts are made to warn Ekko that an attack is coming). [it's a pity I think if this connection had been made it would have ramped up the tragedy and emotional punch a lot, would have portrayed Vi more as somebody who is torn between Zaun and Piltover]

(my personal read is that Vi feels no connection to Zaun because she was in jail for so long and when she came back she no longer recognized it as "her" Zaun and maybe she associates Zaun with having poisoned her sister)

Anyway, Vi's clearest moment of tragedy coincides with her moment of stating an actual believable want and it says a lot about her as a character in Season 2 so far. It's the scene where she tells Caitlyn that everything around her changed and she wants Caitlyn to stay the same.

And of course she states it exactly 5 minutes before Caitlyn changes on her (becoming like Jinx as Vi puts it).

Still, what Vi expresses in that conversation is very telling of her character. That she feels like she has lost her connection to everything and she was clinging to Caityn as her one thing and that that one thing changes and rejects her.

I think Vi's story suffers from her stated want coming to late in the act and her morals being inclear (ie she against killing? can't be since she asks Caitlyn to take the shot on Jinx? so just kiling children? innocents? what violates her moral code and what doesn't?).

Jinx and Ekko

I think Jinx and Ekko are not completely deep in the "forced" phase, but I think they are sort of muted" in the "want" as well. Jinx has expressed that she wants to die but imo it feels sort of half hearted. Jinx says she wants to blow it all up, but imo it feels sort of half hearted. Jinx expresses anger over what Caitlyn using the grey but we don't really see the process of what she does about it.

Her forced aspect comes in the sense of the girl latching on to her (and there's potential there in her repeating what happened between her and Silco) but I think all of the new characters fall pretty flat so far. NuGirl really would have benefitted from getting a flashback to explain her backstory. (yes even if she ends up getting killed)

Ekko just wants to protect his people but the illness of the tree forces him to go to Piltover with Heimer. At this point both his wants and his forced are pretty muted.

Jayce

I think Jayce's story suffers from him being actually the character who is in multiple stories. He's a little bit with Caitlyn and Vi (he wanted to honor Viktor's wishes not to build hextech weapons but he makes them for Cait after all), he's a little bit Mel, he's a little bit in Viktor's story, and a little bit in the Heimer/Ekko story.

I think better writing could have really made use of the fact that Jayce is the character who is in multiple storylines but imo it didn't happen.

At the moment (maybe just because of how Act 1 ended) Hextech feels like his big tragedy. (Mel's line about wanting to protect his dream) Season 1 Jayce was cocky and wanted to make the world better with Hextech (+ be a magician), in season 2 he finds out that hextech is actually completely fucking over the The Arcane.

Again this is something that could really have benefitted to a flashbacks for Jayce's highs when everything was still golden and glorious for him rather than just pans onto his old mug.

Conclusion

Structurally the tragedy is there for everybody, but I don't really *feel* the tragedy of it yet because the show isn't making heavy enough use of contrast (ie investing more time of emotionally showing us what the character actually wants so we can feel the weight of when they end getting the actual opposite, I think flashbacks could have accomplished that).

[darlixg]

what is this type of character called?

As a start, these are some of my favorite characters that i think are similar in some way:

-Toph Beifong (Avatar)

-Lance (Voltron)

-Stuart Pot, 2D (Gorillaz)

-Mammon (Obey Me!)

-Damian Wayne (DC)

-Lee Ping (Detentionaire)

-Geto Suguru (JJK)

-Herrscher of Sentience (hi3rd)

-Testament (Guilty Gear)

-Ivan (Alien Stage)

-Suletta Mercury (The witch from mercury)

-Sunday (Star rail)

-Tweek Tweak (South park)

-Hong Lu (Limbus company)

-Go Bok-Su (married in red)

-Alucard (Hellsing)

-Allen Walker (D. Gray-man)

basically this^

I'm aware that some are more on the darker or religious way, but most of them seem to me like the sunshine character with deep depth hidden in them, acting tough but with a soft side to them, multifaceted and resilient taking on whether they are internal or external challenges, some being groomed and suffering because of other peoples choices.

I love when a charcter holds great complexity to them, have a strong sense of identity or they struggle with that identity and accepting it and having a meaningful build up growth and development.

-For example, one of my favorite character developments these characters go through, is Testaments from Guilty gear.

How Testament begins to reclaim their autonomy and struggles with the guilt and trauma of their past actions, trying to reconcile their existence as a Gear with the remnants of their humanity. They go through a journey of redemption and self-discovery, as they shift from a being of pure destruction to someone seeking to protect others and find a sense of peace.

-Or Damian Wayne's development. How he goes from a brash, arrogant child warrior to a more mature, responsible, and empathetic hero. His growth is marked by his struggle with his violent upbringing, his desire to prove himself, and his gradual acceptance of the values his father embodies. Despite his tough exterior, Damian’s evolution reveals a deeply complex character who cares deeply for those close to him and strives to atone for his past, making him one of the more dynamic and compelling members of the Bat-family.

Tbh, i could go on forever for each of these characters, some that have affected me deeply are Geto Suguru's crisis, Sunday's grooming and fighting with his beliefs, Ivan's character alone is the most fascinating thing for me, as well as Toph's strong independet personality that i just love so much!

I want to find more complex, sunshine, strong or weak but manipulative characters that strugle with life or however these kind of characters are described as. Smart and going after their beliefs without changing for the greater good but for themselfs.

[atomoxxetine]

"Pernicious Present" Pt.2

Feyd Rautha x Suk Doctor! Reader

Summary: The greatest gift from Emperor Shaddam to House Harkonnen is a ticking time bomb wrapped neatly in a ribbon.

part 1 Warning: Death, Blood, Torture

(I've never read Dune. This is written based purely on the movie and a quick search. + I'm no medical expert, so any fancy doctor talk is just for character portrayal. Enjoy!)

"Out." Feyd barked, bringing you back to the present. You grin as you bow, ready to leave the room. A hand flashes out to grab the back of your collar. "Not so fast," Feyd snarls. "You haven't done your part yet, doctor." You turn back, a wry smile playing on your lips. "I almost have one less shift," you quip. The room is now empty except for the two of you. His eyes fixate on you as you lay out your medical supplies. "I understand that you want to test the blade on real flesh," you break the silence. "But don't you think that's a bit excessive?" you inquire. Just before you can blink, a dagger appears by your nape. "If you feel so sorry for them," he whispers, "why don't you just offer your neck for me to slice? So that I can spare those lives instead?"

You stifle your laugh. "Oh, I didn't mean to act virtuous," you try to back away from the dagger, but a firm hand keeps you in place. "I was simply questioning your lack of concern for resource limitations," you respond. The muscle of his brow quirks to a questioning look. He looks so cute, like a lost puppy. A ridiculous thought pops up, ignoring the fact that he's millimeters away from cutting your tissue. "Elaborate," Feyd orders. "The amount of resources needed to feed these servants till they reach the working age is staggering," you explain. He lowers his hands, bringing his dagger back into the shadow of his pocket. And… a war is likely brewing soon," you continue. A glint of metal flashed past your peripheral vision. "How did you-" Feyd retorts. "Oh, I see," he comes to terms. "Uncle sure is fond of his pet, huh?" Feyd smirks. "I wonder what is so special about you," he says as he brings up a scalpel to his lips, taking a quick lap to clear the bloodstain off. The scalpel, far sharper than anything he has used before, snicks with a horrifying ease as it slices through the soft flesh of his tongue. Your blood, a bright crimson, mixes with the welling burgundy from his wound, painting a grotesque picture on the polished metal. A flicker of surprise crosses his features for a split second, but it's quickly replaced by a twisted smile. Instead of recoiling in pain, Feyd leans into the sensation. A low guttural sound escapes his throat, a sound that could be interpreted as a growl of pleasure or perhaps a dark chuckle, sends a jolt through you. Your eyes widen at the sight. A surge of heat floods your core, a traitorous response. When did he take my scalpel?! He snickers at your expression. Blood trickles out of your neck. You assess your situation. It hasn't reached the External jugular vein yet. Platysma muscle? Maybe…The injury was superficial, a brush against something worse. You regain composure as your hand quickly finds a gauze to stop your blood, his dark eyes never leaving your neck. "Give me back my tool," you snide. "Make me," he breathes out, his voice raspy.

(to my understanding, if you get External jugular vein cut then it's serious medical emergency. But if you get the Platysma muscle cut it's not life-threatening) @beebeechaos @mamawiggers1980 @avidreader73

[starbylers]

Mike’s lack of personal journey in a Mlvn reading of the show: why so many people complain about Mike’s character

Something just occurred to me…I actually would challenge any Mlvn to tell me about a character motivation/internal conflict of Mike’s that does not revolve around El. What struggles does Mike as a person deal with throughout the series? When trying to build an effective, realistic, well-rounded character you can’t have their biggest fear be ‘loosing this particular person’ as Mlvns love to claim is Mike’s. As a writer you have to understand your character’s deepest desires and what drives them at their core, they cannot be purely motivated by an external force. A character such as that will feel hollow, boring and difficult to connect with. This is basic character development stuff.

Examples (simplified to get the point across):

For the whole show, El struggles with finding her place in a world where she feels fundamentally different

For most of the show, Will struggles with his sexuality and feeling like a ‘mistake’

Dustin in s2 deals with his self-esteem and understanding that he is good enough even if he doesn’t have a girl’s approval

Lucas in s4 wrestles with a desire to be popular and to ‘fit in’ which we see him overcome

Max in s4 deals with depression and the process of wishing to no longer be here to realising she actually wants to live

But…what about Mike? A brief Mlvn interpretation of everything he does through the show and why he does it:

S1: he saves and looks after El because he fell in love with her. He also looks for his friend Will.

S2: he is heartbroken because El is not with him anymore, and then madly in love again once she’s back.

S3: he has ups and downs with El because teen relationships are just like that, and then they get back together because they’re truly in love. He’s also too in love with his girlfriend to care about his old interests.

S4: he fights with El because all couples fight, and then rescues her from Nina while taking friendly advice from Will. Finally he confesses his love, which he didn’t do before because he’s terrified to lose her oh and he’s not good at feelings (but they won’t digger any deeper into that last one 🤐).

Like…yeah they acknowledge Mike also helps with the supernatural stuff, he’s smart and observant. He generally takes charge of the group and looks out for his friends, and (at least in earlier seasons) he’s the leader. But those are character traits. Everyone has them. (Max is sarcastic and kinda scary when she needs to be, Dustin can be cocky but is highly intelligent, Lucas is very headstrong and follows his own judgement, Will is sensitive and empathetic). I’m talking about character conflicts/journeys. Can they tell us what journey Mike has gone on as his own person???

And this, this is why lots and lots of people complain that Mike’s character revolves around El (especially since they started dating). This is why people say Mike is the Duffer’s self-insert and is just meant to be a blank slate relatable character. This is why Mlvns characterise him as El’s obsessed loser boyfriend. Because if you view the show through a Mlvn lens then yeah, Mike looks utterly two-dimensional with no drive other than screeching El El El when she’s in danger (sorry it had to be said).

The problem is when you try to dig into what Mike’s deeper motivations could possibly be, it gets very bad for Mlvn very fast:

‘Mike is scared to lose El because he’s worried she won’t need him’

Let’s detach El from that and figure out the root of this problem, what is really going on with Mike here (we already know but just for the sake of my point), because he is a character in his own right and this was a large focus of his story last season.

What do we know? Mike expressed feelings of worthlessness (‘I’m just some random nerd...’) and feelings of inferiority (…‘who got lucky superman landed on his doorstep’) in his relationship. He acknowledges that his and El’s relationship was fundamentally built on her just needing someone. Also, throughout the series we see Mike has a strong desire to help and serve and save those close to him, it’s who he is.

Mike is so clearly driven by a need to feel needed and fears being an unimportant nobody. He doesn’t think he’s special or useful next to El and it hurts him, his self-esteem is very, very low. But Mlvns never acknowledge that, because that would require admitting that a) Will’s words in the van showed he recognises & loves the Mike as the brave and inspiring leader he wants to be, and in doing so soothed Mike’s personal insecurities (because those do exist, and the talk wasn’t just ‘relationship advice’) and b) Mlvn’s relationship makes Mike feel shitty.

Another example:

Common Mlvn interpretation: ‘Mike was spending all his time with El in s3 because he’s in love with her and he is growing out of childish games’

What do we know? (1) Mike didn��t truly loose interest in DnD, he just neglected his interests when he got into a relationship, super healthy (2) He tries to act cool around El (‘Sorry that made me sound like a 7 year old’ / feigning disinterest in Dustin’s inventions) (3) When arguing with Will, Mike frames him getting a girlfriend as being the inevitable progression of life, the opposing choice from ‘sitting in his basement playing games’…but then he joins Hellfire in s4…as soon as El leaves. He didn’t truly believe anything he was saying to Will, he just can’t juggle being himself and having a gf simultaneously 😬.

Mike’s internal conflict here is clearly feeling like he has to grow up, and has to suppress his true identity in the name of achieving that. (And this continues somewhat into s4 with the fake, not-at-all-his-style Cali outfit in El’s fav colours). But again, understanding that requires understanding that Mlvn as a couple is not a safe space for Mike to be himself, and what Mlvns characterise as a normal teenage ups and downs is actually indicative of an unhealthy relationship.

Basically what I’m saying is it makes so, so much sense why Mike is one of the most disliked characters among the GA (aside from like the actual villains) and why he always ends up on those stupid lists. People are sick of him existing just to be El’s love interest. And that is not true in the slightest, but when you aren’t looking deeper than Mlvn…yeah it does look pretty bad, and I understand where they’re coming from. And as much as we say El is the one who Mlvns are obsessed with making everything about her boyfriend, the real victim of this treatment from them is Mike. Even his heart-to-hearts with Will are actually Mike thinking about El, apparently.

This is another reason why I’m so sure about Byler because Mike is essentially the original main character (aside from El I guess). I’m sorry but there’s no way he is the only one the writers managed to mess up this badly when they are capable of adding deeper personal development to characters who are much less central to the story. Even Finn himself said we’ve not been as personal with Mike recently but s5 will remedy that and people will be happy with his journey. The day Mlvns and GA are forced to look deeper at Mike’s personal internal conflict outside of how it relates to El is the day I will know peace 🙏🏽

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

My memory is terrible so I wanted to do a breakdown of my stuff every once in a while. Might be monthly, might be whenever I feel like it.

QL - Currently Watching

🇹🇭23.5 [11/12] - This show is not working for me anymore. Of course I'll finish because there's only one more episode but honestly I don't really care if any of them are together and that's a problem.

🇯🇵25 Ji, Akasaka de [5/10] - I'm so normal about this show. The way this show is using the show within the show is really smart and the editing is very good. I'm actually looking forward to see how the 'rival' will shake things up, which is odd for me.

🇰🇷Boys Be Brave [2/8] - So far so good. Gi Seop is obvisouly not the best boy but there's something about his energy on screen that is compelling to me. I really liked that Jin Woo was honest about his feelings and I like the 'I love you but I don't like you' dynamic a lot. The second couple gave me some ODS vibes so I'm bracing for some angst. [Finished will write it up at the next round up]

🇯🇵Living with him [6/8] - Filler episode with not a lot of new information, but I did enjoy the supermarket scene. I continue to delight in Kasuhito's expressions.

🇰🇷Love Is Like a Cat [2/12] - I'm waiting to binge this one. Didn't like how this started and the rhythm just isn't working for me. [Finished]

🇹🇭My Stand-In [1/12] - Pretty is pretty. But I don't trust Thailand with high concept so I have reservations. I hope I'm wrong. I liked the first episode so we'll see.

🇹🇭Only Boo! [7/12] - Well the Shone thing was what I feared and I don't think it really fit with this show at all but now it's over and I'm ready to forget it ever happened. Moo continues to be an absolute delight to watch and I'm looking forward to seeing a more relaxed Kang. The sides are pure torture. Payos sweetie, you need to confess or let it go cause I can't take it anymore.

🇹🇭We Are [8/16] - I'm enjoying the friendships in this a lot, it all feels very natural when they are together. I'm not super invested in any of the couples, although they're all doing a good job. I'm having a good time with Tan/Fang (Aou is so fun to watch) and hopefully I will have a good time whenever the show decides to give me Chain/Pun. I also think some of the actors have really improved, I was really impressed with Satang specially.

QL - Finished

🇹🇭1000 Years Old - I wrote before that this one wasn't really my thing and obviously the finale didn't really change that. The different lifetimes I think could've been explored earlier and would probably make this a bit more interesting to me. It's not like there was too much going on to use the time for that but it is what it is. Also the whole thing with the vampire girl/wife, it was so unexplored that I didn't really get why all of a sudden I should care about her at all. All in all, it started fun but halfway through it lost me a bit and now it's over. Bring on the next vamps.

🇹🇭Deep Night - This one surprised me a bit. There was a refreshing amount of good communication and they gave the people what they wanted, poly and older lesbians. I wish there were more acrobatics and the editing was weird in places but overall it's an entertaining show.

🇰🇷Gray Shelter - This is weird one. Because I feel like I have to fill in the gaps myself and that just shouldn't be the case. I enjoyed the actors a lot, and Lee Jae Bin presence on screen kept me engaged for most of it. There is definitely potential here if they had the time to explore all the different elements. But this runtime it's just not enough to fully flesh out these characters and the complex issues it wants to tackle.

🇯🇵Love is Better The Second Time Around - Started great but lost itself by the end. I don't think it needed that external conflict by the end with the brother and the mother because they weren't on firm ground to begin with. If I were to make a list like this one by @lurkingshan I don't think Myiata and Iwanaga would make it there. Iwanaga was amazing to watch though. He pretty.

🇯🇵My Strawberry Film - One pining gay boy does not a bl make. With that said, even as a drama there's nothing interesting here.

🇹🇭To Be Continued - Meh. It was fine. I wish I had more of the side couple because Gumbie is adorable. Midway this was getting into The Promise territory, and while it's not that bad, and I guess the reason for the separation is a valid one, I don't think Achi being the 'bad guy' for most of the show actually makes sense.

🇹🇼Unknown - The last two episodes were a bit of a letdown if I'm honest. I have nothing to say about the first 10 episodes. Incredible. The character growth is so well done, and the family scenes feel very grounded. Just all around outstanding work from the whole cast, but specially Kurt and Chris. I think Kurt showed Yuan growth so well and I'm in awe of Chris' acting all the way through. Even with the little stumble at the end this show and these characters will stay with me for a while.

Rose Watches OJBL

Junjou (2010) - Second chance romance. I liked it. It's a nice watch, nothing particularly outstanding or new about this one, although that's not really fair considering it's more than a decade old, but alas I've seen other versions of this particular type of bl. Nevertheless I liked the characters, specially Tozaki,

Athlete (2019) - The visuals were the best part for me. There are several things I like in this, the main actor does a really good job imo and I truly enjoyed the bar scenes. But it doesn't all come together for me. I don't have a problem with the ending as much as how we got there.

Other - Watched

This was a slow month for me. I started a new job and some other stuff happened so I haven't really been in the mood to watch new stuff. Mostly comfort watches and rewatches. Oh I did watch Heartbreak High S2. It was good.

That's it for right now. My ask box is always open. Wishing you all a wonderful holiday tomorrow💜

[completeoveranalysis]

[2]

NEW FAVOURITE COVER?

NEW FAVOURITE COVER!

Chapitre 201 - The Truth from within the Ruins

Oh this is just beyond gorgeous. Who can stand against the pure concentrated adorable that is Tsubasa Babies Family Photo? Now with all four of them!

I’m in love with all the tiny details that they clearly spent so long on - all the lovely folds of Sakura’s dress, the intricate detailing on Fai’s robe and staff. Lava Lamp is in his ceremonial garb, and tiny Kurogane IN HIS FANCY LITTLE OUTFIT. (AND HIS POSTURE? GET OUT. Incredible)

 Kurogane doesn’t have Ginryuu yet (since this is Happy Childhood AU, so his father will still have it. Still has the moon though!) but Lava Lamp has the Syaoran Family Sword all ready to go. His outfit would be incomplete without it - they’re all wearing clothing from their home worlds, or maybe their families? I’m technically not sure which world Lava Lamp comes from, but his outfit is Family Legacy all the way down. I’m dying to know if Fai’s outfit is in the style of Seresu or Valeria - I don’t think they’re all that different, but I think I would put my money on Valeria based on the position of the fur and the curl motif. In which case it’s fun for me that his Happy Family AU is in Valeria instead of with Ashura. (sorry not sorry Ashura get fucked)

I suppose in this version he never had reason to leave Valeria in the first place, so it’s a very nice touch that the outfit doesn’t immediately resemble the clothing he wore in his backstory, since that’s all so closely linked to the death of his twin, who would be alive here. Very nice visual choices all around, especially with each of them in their own unique colour pallette. Oh, and even with the colour differences they all have bits of yellow somewhere on them, showing their connection.

The left/right split between them is really fun too - sword wielders on one side, phenomenally powerful magic users on the other, cats vs dogs, unique child/parent pairings, etc. It’s very funny to me that they found a super fancy chair for Sakura and a cushion for Kurogane, but nothing for the other two. But Fai draping himself over the chair is such an incredible piece of character flair, which I am in love with, but also, the TOUCH? The little touch of tiny hands? Sakura reaching back to put her hand on the back of Fai’s? Tiny Lava Lamp’s little grip on Kurogane’s arm? OH it’s so touching. 

And behind them all? THAT WINDOW. Such a clear symbol positioned directly in the centre frame. At first I thought it might be an eye, but this is Happy Family AU so there should be no Evil Wolverine to spy on them. What I’m voting on instead is CLAMP playing with Tarot symbols again and this being the Wheel of Fortune, or a similar idea of a wheel of destiny. They use the latter idea a lot in their earlier works (RG Veda and X/1999 say hi), but I think the tarot symbol in particular really shines through with the ideas they’re playing with in Tsubasa/xxxHolic, and has a very strong parallel to the idea of hitsuzen. 

After some much safer googling it looks like the “Wheel of Fortune” in Tarot can mean change or cycles or inevitable fate, but on the flipside could also be lacking control. I think the reversed meaning of the card really speaks to me the most about their situation in general, as it describes bad luck and misfortunes thrust upon you from external forces, that you are fighting to take control back from an unwinnable situation. That fighting it is impossible, that continuing to fight it can only bring more suffering, and that the only option is to let it go. To stop blaming yourself for the thing you did wrong, or the thing that you think was your fault. To forgive yourself, to accept it all, to let yourself move on, to accept that change is inevitable, and to finally be able to move forward and just let everything happen. 

Because if that’s not exactly the whole situation we are in I don’t know what is. It’s a mirror for the things that Fai and Kurogane have already been through, and for what Lava Lamp Guy is still currently fighting, and CLAMP love to do drop these symbols all the time. 

And this is a bit of a tangent but who’s gonna stop me? Clamp LOVE their tragic destiny pairs, especially in their early works - the couples deeply love but also cursed by fate, like Kendappa and Souma, Ashura and Yasha (flavoured differently in RG Veda, but still fitting this cycle again in Tsubasa), Subaru and Seishirou, Sorata and Arashi (unfinished), Kamui and Fuuma, etc. The characters who are so different from each other, so diametrically opposed, but in love still, and it burns so strong that they either have to kill each other or let the world burn around them - or both! They’re always fighting destiny, just like the reversed wheel of fortune, and they fight it to the point of obliteration. 

AND THEN we have Tsubasa, and I think it’s so endlessly interesting that they took the same pattern and turned it around. Syaoran and Sakura definitely fit the theme (and wild that they took the Cardcaptor Sakura happy couple deliberately to make the most universe shattering tragedy out of it, but I still haven’t seen how their story ends, whether one will have to tragically die to save everything or whether they’ll get out somehow). But what I mostly want to talk about (surprise surprise) Kurogane and Fai, who fit the pattern exactly. Complete opposites, diametrically opposed, set up as antagonists and destined to kill each other but fall in love instead. That they both fight against the tragic pasts that defined them and eventually change their mind. Eventually, slowly, they accept love again and realise that they can actually live with themselves and each other if they let it all go. 

And I think what really gets me is that if this was an earlier Clamp work they absolutely would have tragically died - they would have killed each other in the climax of Seresu and it would have been beautiful and terrible and no-one ever would have ever emotionally recovered from the complete and utter devastation. 

BUT THEY DIDN’T. 

CLAMP spend all of Tsubasa revisiting all their old works, taking us through a parade of the various tragedies they’ve sung across the years, all leading up to them ultimately breaking their own pattern and letting Fai and Kurogane save each other from the same Clamp fate that claimed every tragic pair before them. They choose each other and get out alive. They stop blaming themselves for the unchangeable parts of destiny and finally forgive themselves. And it’s just very emotional to me that it’s these two that make it, these two that get to recover and choose each other and live their lives inseparable from this point on. The two that had arguably the most tragic backstories also get to face their trauma, survive, and live. 

And it’s just so beautiful to see how the CLAMP storytelling method has changed over the years, and to find out that after all these years, the big destiny story they really wanted to tell in their longest and most detailed work was about the two men who fell in love, against all odds and saved each other. Despite absolutely everything saying that it should be impossible, it’s Kurogane and Fai that finally flip the tarot card back around and live. 

And I’m extremely interested in what this means for Lava Lamp and Not!Sakura.