#Woops this is a novel
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NEW FAVOURITE COVER?
NEW FAVOURITE COVER!
Chapitre 201 - The Truth from within the Ruins
Oh this is just beyond gorgeous. Who can stand against the pure concentrated adorable that is Tsubasa Babies Family Photo? Now with all four of them!
I’m in love with all the tiny details that they clearly spent so long on - all the lovely folds of Sakura’s dress, the intricate detailing on Fai’s robe and staff. Lava Lamp is in his ceremonial garb, and tiny Kurogane IN HIS FANCY LITTLE OUTFIT. (AND HIS POSTURE? GET OUT. Incredible)
Kurogane doesn’t have Ginryuu yet (since this is Happy Childhood AU, so his father will still have it. Still has the moon though!) but Lava Lamp has the Syaoran Family Sword all ready to go. His outfit would be incomplete without it - they’re all wearing clothing from their home worlds, or maybe their families? I’m technically not sure which world Lava Lamp comes from, but his outfit is Family Legacy all the way down. I’m dying to know if Fai’s outfit is in the style of Seresu or Valeria - I don’t think they’re all that different, but I think I would put my money on Valeria based on the position of the fur and the curl motif. In which case it’s fun for me that his Happy Family AU is in Valeria instead of with Ashura. (sorry not sorry Ashura get fucked)
I suppose in this version he never had reason to leave Valeria in the first place, so it’s a very nice touch that the outfit doesn’t immediately resemble the clothing he wore in his backstory, since that’s all so closely linked to the death of his twin, who would be alive here. Very nice visual choices all around, especially with each of them in their own unique colour pallette. Oh, and even with the colour differences they all have bits of yellow somewhere on them, showing their connection.
The left/right split between them is really fun too - sword wielders on one side, phenomenally powerful magic users on the other, cats vs dogs, unique child/parent pairings, etc. It’s very funny to me that they found a super fancy chair for Sakura and a cushion for Kurogane, but nothing for the other two. But Fai draping himself over the chair is such an incredible piece of character flair, which I am in love with, but also, the TOUCH? The little touch of tiny hands? Sakura reaching back to put her hand on the back of Fai’s? Tiny Lava Lamp’s little grip on Kurogane’s arm? OH it’s so touching.
And behind them all? THAT WINDOW. Such a clear symbol positioned directly in the centre frame. At first I thought it might be an eye, but this is Happy Family AU so there should be no Evil Wolverine to spy on them. What I’m voting on instead is CLAMP playing with Tarot symbols again and this being the Wheel of Fortune, or a similar idea of a wheel of destiny. They use the latter idea a lot in their earlier works (RG Veda and X/1999 say hi), but I think the tarot symbol in particular really shines through with the ideas they’re playing with in Tsubasa/xxxHolic, and has a very strong parallel to the idea of hitsuzen.
After some much safer googling it looks like the “Wheel of Fortune” in Tarot can mean change or cycles or inevitable fate, but on the flipside could also be lacking control. I think the reversed meaning of the card really speaks to me the most about their situation in general, as it describes bad luck and misfortunes thrust upon you from external forces, that you are fighting to take control back from an unwinnable situation. That fighting it is impossible, that continuing to fight it can only bring more suffering, and that the only option is to let it go. To stop blaming yourself for the thing you did wrong, or the thing that you think was your fault. To forgive yourself, to accept it all, to let yourself move on, to accept that change is inevitable, and to finally be able to move forward and just let everything happen.
Because if that’s not exactly the whole situation we are in I don’t know what is. It’s a mirror for the things that Fai and Kurogane have already been through, and for what Lava Lamp Guy is still currently fighting, and CLAMP love to do drop these symbols all the time.
And this is a bit of a tangent but who’s gonna stop me? Clamp LOVE their tragic destiny pairs, especially in their early works - the couples deeply love but also cursed by fate, like Kendappa and Souma, Ashura and Yasha (flavoured differently in RG Veda, but still fitting this cycle again in Tsubasa), Subaru and Seishirou, Sorata and Arashi (unfinished), Kamui and Fuuma, etc. The characters who are so different from each other, so diametrically opposed, but in love still, and it burns so strong that they either have to kill each other or let the world burn around them - or both! They’re always fighting destiny, just like the reversed wheel of fortune, and they fight it to the point of obliteration.
AND THEN we have Tsubasa, and I think it’s so endlessly interesting that they took the same pattern and turned it around. Syaoran and Sakura definitely fit the theme (and wild that they took the Cardcaptor Sakura happy couple deliberately to make the most universe shattering tragedy out of it, but I still haven’t seen how their story ends, whether one will have to tragically die to save everything or whether they’ll get out somehow). But what I mostly want to talk about (surprise surprise) Kurogane and Fai, who fit the pattern exactly. Complete opposites, diametrically opposed, set up as antagonists and destined to kill each other but fall in love instead. That they both fight against the tragic pasts that defined them and eventually change their mind. Eventually, slowly, they accept love again and realise that they can actually live with themselves and each other if they let it all go.
And I think what really gets me is that if this was an earlier Clamp work they absolutely would have tragically died - they would have killed each other in the climax of Seresu and it would have been beautiful and terrible and no-one ever would have ever emotionally recovered from the complete and utter devastation.
BUT THEY DIDN’T.
CLAMP spend all of Tsubasa revisiting all their old works, taking us through a parade of the various tragedies they’ve sung across the years, all leading up to them ultimately breaking their own pattern and letting Fai and Kurogane save each other from the same Clamp fate that claimed every tragic pair before them. They choose each other and get out alive. They stop blaming themselves for the unchangeable parts of destiny and finally forgive themselves. And it’s just very emotional to me that it’s these two that make it, these two that get to recover and choose each other and live their lives inseparable from this point on. The two that had arguably the most tragic backstories also get to face their trauma, survive, and live.
And it’s just so beautiful to see how the CLAMP storytelling method has changed over the years, and to find out that after all these years, the big destiny story they really wanted to tell in their longest and most detailed work was about the two men who fell in love, against all odds and saved each other. Despite absolutely everything saying that it should be impossible, it’s Kurogane and Fai that finally flip the tarot card back around and live.
And I’m extremely interested in what this means for Lava Lamp and Not!Sakura.
#Woops this is a novel#I saw a silly little wheel and had to talk for uh… like 1000 words#I blame clamp#Liveblogging the reservoir chronicle#Tsubasa#Vol 201#Fai#Kurogane#Lava lamp guy#Sakura#Which Sakura?#A sakura#Not Sakura#and the red string from lava lamp's sword#Being in the centre of it all#Since he IS the centre of it all#And its his past that was at ground zero for all these other things kicking off#Oh oh and the checkered pattern on the floor#Kind of revisiting all those group photos we had in Infinity#But giving them the Nice Version instead#To cap off all the suffering with an alternate destiny
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EPIC MICKEY REBRUSHED WOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT'S FINALLY HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!!!!! some epic mickey art to celebrate!!!
#yeesh has it really been 4 months since i last posted? I just haven't been drawing much guhhhh#also the first comic is adapting the novel! I just thought it'd be fun and I wanna continue!!#the thinner mickey comic was a friends idea oKAY I KNOW IT'S EDGY BUT I AM CRINGE AND I AM FREE OKAY?????#my art#epic mickey#epic mickey rebrushed#mickey mouse#oswald the lucky rabbit#i'm going to play rebrushed immediatley even though i've only got like 2 hours till class wooP
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Mariah is a treasure. I won't lie I worry when enigmatic characters appear on page that they'll be anticlimactic after the build-up but she's a delight and I love her
#dionysus in wisconsin#troth#I had to take a break from reading to make soup and paint part of a ghost for my office walls#but I am back to this#I'm dreading finishing this book bc I just realised that I won't have the next one to follow it up with#which is a tragedy#it's fine I have a friend's novel to finish reading and commenting on and I also have to make my floor at least passable tomorrow#like atm u can't cross it w/o leaping over a mountain of stuff#3 laundry baskets a box of thrifted clothes 2 saxophones a violin 2 flutes an oboe a trombone an old riding helmet my back brace a cat crate#I acquired some stuff to put things away in recently but I have to actually put them away. I haven't put away my laundry in uhhhh#I mean I know that it's been since like March. I also discovered I never washed my ren faire costume from last year so woops#anyway
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writing with a fountain pen with a notebook beats every other writing software I have ever tried.
there is nothing quite so visceral as my pen suddenly dripping ink everywhere as I’m panic-dabbing it off and trying to re-read my handwriting. it stokes the fires of creativity.
#fountain pen#writing#novel writing#fantasy writing#send help#i can't read the last two pages#woop woop
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Next up, Jake! Mr firedad himself, bisexual icon, dad of all cats
Info under the cut
Born to Crystal and Mocha alongside his stillborn littermate, Stripe, Jake is a playful, curious, and adventurous tom. He's the second litter of his parents, and the shortest man ever, absolute short king material.
The rough events of Tallstar's book still take place, and he stays in love with Tallstar for the rest of his life, even with both mates. He tells tales of the strong, brave wildcat he met to his kits, information that comes in handy for Rusty later on.
While he does love Nutmeg, and loved Quince, his first love was Tallstar, and he spent much of his time looking out towards the moors and wondering how he was doing.
His first official mate, Quince, was a product of young love, jumping in too fast. He was very close to her, but in attempting to get over Tallstar, he went for the first molly that said yes, which ended up being the molly every tom in the twolegplace adored. Eventually, they realised it wasn't love, but a strong bond, and Jake left, both unaware that Quince was expecting. He didn't find out until Tiny ran away, and Quince came to him for help finding him. He and his older brothers tried to find the small kit, but when they caught his scent going into the thunderclan border, and found blood at the end of the trail, they assumed he died. He blamed himself for this, thinking that had he been there for his kits, perhaps he could've saved them. This only worsened when Ruby and Socks were split into twoleg homes, as they refused to keep contact.
And so, carrying the weight of his son's death and parental failure on his shoulders, it took a long, long time for him to take another mate. Still thinking about Tallstar and if he had had kits by then, he fell for and became the mate to Nutmeg. This time, it was genuine.
They were mates for many, many moons before Nutmeg fell pregnant. They had tried before, but kit death ran on his side of the family, and hard labours ran in Nutmeg's, so they were overjoyed when the kits were born, healthy and crying.
Nutmeg's owners assisted with the birth, and Jake was kept in a seperate room by the twolegs, so he was nauseous with anxiety until the owners let him out and- he immediately fainted, as Nutmeg's first and only litter was a litter of 6. Once he recovered from the shock, the first thing Nutmeg told him was that this was all the kits he was getting. He was more than alright with that.
He let the twolegs name the kits for the most part, but considered calling one of the two smallest after his late son. Nutmeg gently told him not to, as it'd be pressure for the kit to live up to. He called him Rusty instead.
For the few moons the kits lived with Nutmeg, he visited every day, oftentimes staying overnight to do a head count of them every morning while they were still asleep. He would admit, now, that he was a bit overly attached to them, panicking badly every time he couldn't find one, only for them to be under a blanket or under Nutmeg's neverending fur. He would play with them constantly, and teach them hunting tricks that Talltail had taught him, including how to sneak around. It lead to a good amount of kitten surprise tail attacks, which he dramatically fell over from every time.
Eventually, though, the kits were seperated into different twolegs. They weren't far, all within the same twolegplace, but he knew he couldn't coddle them. So, he watched from afar until they made contact with him themselves. Princess, Harper, and Luna were the most frequent visitors. However, not long after the kits left, he heard neighbourhood rumor from Smudge's mother, that one of the new kittypets had disappeared in the night. Jake panicked. Hard. His brothers' twolegs had left long ago and taken them with them, so he had nobody to help track him. He checked on each of his remaining kits, and anxiously checked the Thunderclan border. He caught Rusty's scent heading into the forest, and feared the worst. This time, he didn't have his battle-experienced brothers with him, so he didn't go in, though he knew it was cowardly.
To his relief, Princess kept him in the loop, and told him when Firepaw showed up, safe and sound, if slightly underfed. He was also told when Tommy and Filou joined the clans as well. Though, when he asked if there were any cats in Thunderclan with black fur and one white paw, she told him they didn't have any.
He didn't trust Thunderclan necessarily, not after Tiny's presumed demise, but if his daughter said Firepaw was happy, then he'd have to believe them.
One leafbare, though, he got to meet his grandkits. He was told of the arrangement by Princess, and was waiting excitedly with Nutmeg at her nest, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Icefang. His son, who he thought had died so long ago, was not only alive, but a father. A warrior.
He isn't ashamed to admit he cried, and cried, and forced all of them into a cuddle pile for a while. He cried again when they had to leave the territories moons later, but he was never told of Filou's death. As far as he knew, Talltail-now Tallstar- had taken the tom under his wing, and was his right paw tom. This, of course, wasn't true, as Filou was dead, but the siblings decided their dad didn't need the actual death of a son to deal with.
He died peacefully from old age, and reunited with his Tallstar. Once nutmeg, quince, and the rest of the family showed up, they decided that the collective 9 kits between the three kittypets now had two dads and two moms. Despite not believing in them, he was allowed to go in and out of Starclan to visit as much as he wished, and spent the rest of his afterlife entertaining the many kits of Starclan, and laying in family cuddle piles with his 9 kits, 3 mates, 9 siblings, and many, many descendants. Oh, and his in-laws, he got to meet those as well.
#warrior cats#wc#wc rewrite#warrior cats rewrite#warrior cat rewrite#warrior cats designs#kittypet#woops i wrote a novel#wc jake#jake
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this is so unhinged bros i’m so sorry
[stormbringer chapter one spoilers]
chuuya: “its byob dazai…. what could you not afford a couple beers.”
dazai *looking to catch some hands*: “could you not afford to save the flags?!?”
the ENTIRE port mafia *quaking in their boots and unsure what chaos bout to happen*
#my sincerest apologies#my sincerest apologies to the fandom#this spoiler is unhinged#bsd stormbringer#bsd light novel#bungou stray dogs chuuya#the flags#the port mafia do be wildin#dazai is about to catch these traumatized mafiosos hands and yokohama is not ready#woops#bungo stray dogs#bsd dazai#dazai osamu#i chose violence#i quoted this but idfk where the original is from#im a disappointment to the fandom#unhinged with no remorse#bsd skk#bungo stray dogs spoilers#yeah i’m reading stormbringer and yeah i’m not taking it well#yikes yikes yikes#this def is angst and i’m def not sorry
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Another doodle of them in this AU
#my art#original characters#original story#octp#see you in hell#karya gantari#hendrik muyskens#henrya#woop woop i finished the orific for this au#but idk if i should post it in ao3 hmm#the tone is rather fanfic-y since they have a 'canon' novel already and i dont want to waste time on introduction#but i think i did pretty well on their character dynamics??#hmm thoughts#ill think more abt it later#hendrik ramajaya muyskens
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i need to go to the library i think it would fix me
#30 minute walk. it could be worse#need to get a new library card though i havent had one since i was like 10. woops#trying to get back into reading but all the books i own are true crime novels i bought when i was 14. sorry.#soi've been prowling the internet archive for anything interesting. though i reallyprefer reading books physically so its a little agonizin#i do own house of leaves but i want to get a few shorter reads in before i continue with it#acidb4th#text
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THANK YOU for talking about pangzi in the tags of that post ur so right it makes me soooo happy to read fics where he's is fat and happy and hot and loved and it sucks when other people can't see that because of their bias
thanks again for bringing it up because i do think its something the fandom as a whole needs to look at more critically
<3
I'm glad it's not just me and a handful of people close to me seeing that it's an actual big issue in the fandom! ♥️
Especially because so many people will say they love him, he's their favourite but then never actually include him or just treat him awfully.
I get very fed up about it quite often because it's just so obvious to me. I see a lot of people asking "Why is this idea about Pangzi so common it makes no sense" or "Why is this Pangzi ship not as popular as this one while it makes way more sense" and then never actually thinking about it while the answer is so obvious... It's also extra frustrating because none of the actors playing Pangzi are actually fat. They're completely normal men who are just surrounded by extremely skinny boys. I don't even want to imagine how Pangzi would be treated if he were played by an actual fat man. (The closest we get is Liu Tianzuo in TLT1 and it's not surprising to me that he's fandom's least favourite and most criticized Pangzi)
Because this bias also becomes most obvious in headcanons like 'I can only imagine Pangzi as asexual/cishet/in a QPR' (because they're so so fucking common and casually thrown around) it's really hard to point it out to people without them getting really defensive about it.
I have three separate posts about it in my drafts/notes app that I wrote after spending weeks and weeks working on video lectures about diversity and inclusion, many focusing on bias but I couldn't get the tone right so I never posted them.
I just want people to understand that everyone is biased and it's not something that makes you a bad person. Nobody wants to be biased, you just are. You get taught things by the world around you and your brain learns it whether you want it or not. It's up to you to look at what you have learned and think about it at least twice and then unlearn the harmful untrue things like gender bias, fat bias, race bias. It's not easy to address your bias but it does get easier once you accept you are biased and (not to use the terms I learned in my diversity lectures) start overriding your fast brain and start listening to your slow brain. I was once told that your first thought is what you have been taught by the world around you (fast brain) and your second thought is what you, yourself, actually think (slow brain). It's hard and a bit exhausting, especially with something like fat bias that has been so deeply ingrained and normalised, but god when i tell you it makes your world so much more beautiful.
Fat people deserve to be fat and still be loved and happy and seen as sexy and a potential love interest. Pangzi is fat and hot and a wonderful lovely competent man who is strong and funny and kind. He is extremely loved by the people around him, especially Wu Xie and Xiaoge. He has so so so many good and wonderful traits but he also has his quirks and he says the wrong things sometimes and he's impulsive at moments but that's what makes him so interesting and beautiful and dynamic! He deserves to be portrayed like that more instead of just the mother hen who cooks and cleans while the rest has sex or as the wingman for his two besties or the annoying clumsy fat man who once again triggers a trap because of his greed or just the comic relief or the creepy straight man.
ANYWAY I'll shut up now! If you ever want to talk about how how beautiful Pangzi is and how beautiful other characters think he is and how sexy it is of him to be fat, my DMs are always open!
#i really didn't mean for this reply to be this long woops but#I couldn't shut up again about this#just people... look into your bias and ask yourself WHY you think these things about pangzi#ask#anonymous#also about liu tianzuo people tend to bring up things he says and make him into this super problematic gross man#but ikd man if it was liu sang or xiaoge saying those things they'd probably either get instantly excused for them or applauded#or the biphobia#and for the people who read all this and now are here in the tags hello#i just want to add that the QPR and ace thing is especially frustrating#because these things are so important to be portrayed more#but it's just... not ok when the only characters you see like this are fat characters or characters you are not attracted to or sth#and in dmbj it's especially frustrating#because in the novels especially xiaoge is described as especially asexual#but the fandom refuses to portray him often as anything but a sex machine#and then they add pangzi the man who flirts with anything with two legs#THE ONE CHARACTER WHO ACTUALLY IS IMPLIED TO HAVE HAD SEX IN THE SHOWS#as asexual???#that's bias babey#and before anyone whines yes i know ace people can have sex the portrayal of asexuals in fanfic is a whole other chat we can have
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TFW you fall in love with not just one but two charming strangers while you're supposed to be investigating a murder, and also you're a Selkie.
SKIN DEEP comes out March 18th! Pre-order now ;)
[Image ID: Book quote overlaid over a picture of water. It says: It was Gabrielle's turn to press her hand to her chest dramatically. The movement made her golden bracelet catch the light and brought it to Louison's attention. It was pretty, and a much safer thing to stare at than the woman's slender wrist and soft skin. Or her plunging neckline, the existence of which she had done a purposeful job of not noticing so far.]
#tfw you've now written enough books to realize that you have some very obvious tropes and sentence structure you keep using#woops#anyway#skin deep#writing is hard#self-promotion#selkie romance#selkie polyamorous romance novel with a murder mystery baked in let#s goooooo
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🌻 can i ask about mcr influence on ur work or
OOOOOOOOO of course! Idt I've ever talked about AWM on this blog but whatever I subject people here to just about anything
gosh....the first and most obvious influence is the fact that the bar fight i wrote marisol getting into was directly a result of listening to vampire money too many times when I was in an AWM mood. pick a fight at an airport bar! and i was like. I think marisol needs to pick a barfight RIGHT now. it fit well anyway and was something I needed to show off some aspects of her character and it just felt like it worked well with the themes and narrative so I slapped it in there. thank you vampire money <3
a lot of the influence comes from pure vibes and also part coincidence in that I can't tell if I was subconsciously soaking up some danger days vibes and bleeding them into the story or if i wrote up the story and then had a danger days revival and realized all the similarities. it was honestly probably a feedback loop - AWM already had danger days vibes about it, I added a bunch of danger days songs to the playlist and listened to them a lot, wrote a lot more and got influenced by it, cycle repeats. and I think it was really good for me creatively!
a lot of danger days influence is on marisol specifically since the album sort of has a...how would i word it. vehicle oriented lyric style in a lot of cases. and she's a podracer and has a motorbike so it just ends up fitting well LOL i cant slow down i wont be waiting for you! i feel like listening to the album helped me flesh out her character a lot....the songs just help me see visions for her that i might otherwise not have!
bulletproof heart especially to me is suuuuch an AWM song it fits so so so well. two girls on the run, one of them can fly and the other is a podracer who can fly in her own right, gravity dont mean too much to me! how can they say [eleleth] could you come back home? everybody knows you dont ever wanna come back let me be the one to save you. tears are streaming down my face
ooohhhh ive left this story alone for too long i need to go give her some attention RIGHT NOW!!!
#i dont think this even answered your question im sorry. ilu tho <3#anyone wondering what the fuck im talking about here: my novel wip abide with me i post abt it on a diff blog#i need a new pinned on that blog. woops
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@ghostlypath continued from x
This "re-education" as the Wens had put it hadn't sat well with anyone in Unclean Real. Even aside from the incident during the Gusu lectures with Wen Chao, there was also the fact that it was Wen Ruohan that had set up their previous Sect Leader's death. So they already had no reason to trust them. And "re-education" had a far more sinister ring to it than lectures or conference. But just like the other sects, they hadn't had a choice. There was obviously no way that Kexin was going to let Huaisang step into the lion's den alone despite those misgivings. And lo and behold, they were right to be leery of it. The moment they arrived those Wen dogs had taken their swords, successfully leaving them rather defenseless in comparison to them. On top of that, they weren't able to write home to their families and they made sure to only give them the bare minimum of food. So as to keep them even more powerless to protect themselves. It was truly a nightmare scenario and Kexin had never felt more like a prey animal in her life.
As if these underhanded tactics and Wen Chao's creepy leering wasn't bad enough, that psychopath really had it out for Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, and Jin Zixuan. No doubt it was due to them actually speaking out against him. Those that were consumed by power truly hated and wanted to crush anyone that dared such a thing. She had expected physical violence, but perhaps she should have expected more underhanded tactics like his father. To go so far as to purposely give them bad food rather than just not at all was maybe even worse! They needed to pay! Even without her saber at her side, she felt the burning rage in her meridians by the fourth evening.
Though the spoiled food had been the breaking point, her venom-laced words were targeted at everything they had done up to that point. Normally a quip like Wei Wuxian's reply would have relieved some of the tension and likely would have made her smile. But not this time. Instead, her eyes moved to the fan at her belt. She had been learning more offensive techniques with it.....no. The impulsive thought is forcefully pushed from her mind. They wouldn't stand a chance. She wasn't so arrogant to entertain the idea for more than a moment.
"I certainly would if I could," she murmured. "If only I could manage to get a message to Dà-gē then-" her statement dropped off. Then what? He would break in and save them all like the heroes in the stories that she read? No, the more likely scenario would be that a slew of people would die and a war would break out. Kexin prided herself for being rather mature and well put together for her age, but at the moment all she wanted was to go home. To feel safe. She dug her nails into her palm, hoping it would help her to keep her composure, rather than to show that weakness. "Wouldn't do much good without the help of others, I suppose. Here," she said, pushing her own bowl towards him. "You can have mine. That way you'll have some food that's not basically poisoned. I've lost my appetite anyways,"
#ghostlypath#v: wen indoctrination#//wow that one kinda got away from me apparently#//really long woops#//and yes she does in fact often see da ge as being like one of the invincible heroes in the novels she reads at this age#//it's fine T-T
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@r-edfield || continuation of x
There are some things even she is not used to. She can put up a steely face and accept that it is a thing that happens, a thing that she cannot stop. But that is not the same as being used to it.
Death is a thing she is intimately familiar with, given her history with it and of witnessing it in various ways, some more gruesome than others. And although she can warn against it, she cannot control it, and most certainly cannot contain its inky anchors when someone tempts it and it answers.
To say she is used to Disassembly is a lie.
She can tell someone to push forward until she is blue in the face and still, they can turn and they can run. The Threshold is a vicious thing and it does not act well with intrusion, especially in so short a time. A catch-all, like antibodies attacking a foreign invader in a body, and what is a Zone but a body so vast it is hard to comprehend the monstrosity of it.
So when the other in their small group turns tail and runs with such speed as a though caught on fire, she reaches a hand out to try and catch them ... and fails. There is a flutter of panic in her when she realizes her reach is still too short, and it is hardly more than morbid reflex to turn and try to stop them with words to no avail.
The way time stills when they hit the ripples against reality, the way their body branches out fast enough the shriek of surprise and agony is stilted into the tiniest squeak, the spray of what's left into the ring of the Boneyard, across rocks and passes and the skeletal remains of scrubby trees...
The Wolf can only lower her eyes in some sort of reverence to the reminder that although she can try, she is still only human. Barely big enough to change the minds of men, and never enough to change the courses of instinct in others. It also helps keep the acidic taste of bile of seeing a human body like it should never be seen from rising and burning the back of her throat.
The remaining gore of such a display misses her almost entirely. Maybe splashes the toes of her boots. She likes to think this is the memo from the Zone to her now, of how weak she is against its influence. Of her place in its unspoken hierarchy. She is twined with it in ways most humans are not, understands it on some other level others can barely understand. She is not better than they are, though. She is still just human, and this can also happen to her if she's not careful.
Her personal monologues and humilities are broken by the sound of the landscape near her stirring in panic and she is suddenly brought back with the memory she is still not alone. There is one more, and she is quick to whip her head around to see him shrink and retreat from the Threshold. While she is relieved to see him backing away from it, she knows by the splatter pattern across his body and face that he was staring directly at it, if the vacant glazed eyes and erratic breathing didn't alert her first.
He has seen the fury of God, and it has reminded him of the same thing. That he is human. That he is powerless here. It's in the way he slides down when his back hits a broken retaining wall and he simply crumples at its base with a clatter of equipment.
"Red...?"
His call-sign, his name, is barely above a whisper. When it doesn't get a response, she is careful to turn and move toward him, steps slow and deliberate so they make noise when they shift the terrain or shuffle against the ground. Being silent and sneaky would do no one any favors while he is panicking. He might lash out if she's not careful and while she knows she can take it, it might hurt him more. This is not the first time she has seen or handled traumatic distress, and while this is the first time she's seen it in him, it is best to be prepared.
It doesn't take her long to bend next to him, slowly lowering the Ruger to one side and searching his face for some sort of reaction. "Red? Can you hear me?"
No response, she focuses on the way his chest heaves. He's beginning to hyperventilate, the breaths coming quicker and more erratic. Drawing her lips thin, she makes a decision. One hand reaches forward cautiously, her fingertips against his chest and her entire palm is soon to follow, covering where his heart thuds in his chest, and she whispers into the small space between them, quiet and almost intimate. Something just for him to hear.
"Alright, Red. We are going to count it together. Count your breaths with me, alright?"
There's something there now, a small response, a tick of his head in her direction. It's a motion most would take for granted, but for her, it's a sign he's there again.
"Ready? Eins ... zwo ... drei ..."
Little pauses between the numbers. Spoken in German so he can focus on the difference, and it seems to be working much to her relief. The tension has left him and the uneven breaths have slowed, he's fallen into tempo with it now, and she reaches forward with her free hand to carefully wipe the gore from his face. At least, what she can reach.
She's relieved when halfway through 'eight', he opens his eyes again and finds hers. She sees a little of the conflict he's feeling and can only guess at what it is, but has a small inkling to it. He's not used to losing himself in front of people. It's something he'll have to get used to if he plans on coming back, and something he will realize all good stalkers who can call themselves 'veteran' truthfully are intimately familiar with such events.
She won't force him to talk about things just yet, since the Boneyard is no place for a genuine heart-to-heart, but her free hand leaves his face to rest on the hand he's placed on her, a small show that she hears him and his gratitude well and clear. If you want to talk, I'm here, it says. Stability in a place where nothing can be considered such, where one questions the fabric of existence around them. She is still Wulf, and her ears are open.
"...Feeling a little better?"
It's a tentative question, but she wants to make sure he won't relapse on their way to find shelter. Which requires them to move fast; staying in Boneyards for too long isn't pleasant, and not just because of the memories of what makes them.
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9 Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better:
Tagged by @goth-automaton yo! thanks for the tag :)
3 Ships I like: mannn jus' three? okay my favored children are Nemestine, Creva, and Weskertine
First Ship Ever: Freddy Kruger/Nancy Thompson. I am nothing if not consistant in my villian/final girl (heroine) pair supremacy
Last Song You Heard: "Renegade (We Never Run)" off the Arcane Season 2 soundtrack
Favorite Child Lichhood Book: "Where the Wild Things Are" by Maurice Sendak
Currently Reading: Still reading those Resi Novels by S.D. Perry whenever I get a chance to
Currently Watching: Arcane, Season 2
Currently Consuming: nothing, I ate [sou- redacted] before doing this, woops
Currently Craving: a good strong drink but that requires me to get up and pour a glass and I don't feel like pushing through the multiple layers of reality to grab a [redacted] to swig down my [also redacted]
Tags for 9 people pffh I tag whoever I want:
@naerwenia
@coiled-dragon
@s-dei
@lmshady
@depraveddove
@the-bar-sinister
@unchartedperils
@sweet7simple
@meltic-daze
@meiguiuk
and whoever else wants to I'm not your parental aid
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woops im running a liiiittle bit late with OC-tober. Anyways, we got some furries this round--
Firefly: the protag of a prose novel I've been picking at for a while.
Zipper (and Zapbot): more dinos?! This guy's a Starfinder PC, a hanakan mechanic!
Lyonne: leopard seal hitman, hangs out mostly on my furry accounts
Em: the boss who hires Lyonne to do all her dirty work
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Riot was thankful that his perimeter checks were uneventful that day. Normally a slow day would drive him insane, the lack of action making him irritable and antsy. But today, he kept thinking about the human staying in his apartment. He was stuck in such a whirlwind of different questions and self reflections, that it kept his processor occupied enough to hardly notice the hours passing by during his shift.
Was it stupid to let Rachael into his home in the first place? He knew nothing about her; where she came from, who she really was, what she was in Able City for? For all Riot knew, she could be trashing his place and robbing him blind--like she'd get much with his sparse belongings anyway, but that wasn't the point. She could be lying about a number of things right to his face, and he played right into it. She didn't seem like the type to do that from the outside, but he knew better than to put his full trust in somebody he just met; reploid, human or otherwise.
Criticizing his own judgement or lack thereof aside, Riot was mostly just worried about her. She played it cool, sure, and she was comfortable enough to hit on him (which he was still in shock over)--but he had clocked all her weird looks in the time between literally catching her out of nowhere, and bringing her back to his place. Rachael acted as paranoid as he was. Granted, this could be because she was worried about being caught taking advantage of his duty to help a civilian. But again, Riot had met a lot of criminals and delinquents in his time as a hunter, and Rachael didn't give off that feeling like they would. If she was really just as lost as she had said she was, that only posed more concerns to him. Would it even be safe to let her find work out here? Was it safe to let her stay with him, a notoriously aggressive Maverick Hunter? Just being in contact with him could be putting a target on her back.
All these thoughts and more microanalysies had made Riot's typically slow day pass by in a blur. Before he knew it, he was turning in his report to Orchid and tapping out for the day. Even on the shuttle home, he was distracted. Making his way up to his apartment, he was mentally preparing himself for whatever havoc this human might have wrecked on his home. But what he found instead when the door slid open, made him feel like he'd been worried all day for nothing--and, honestly, a bit like a jerk.
Rachael was curled up into a little ball on the end of the sofa, fast asleep, with her jacket draped over her for warmth. There was some takeout trash on the coffee table, but otherwise, everything looked untouched. Riot sighed through his nose, tension leaving his synthetic muscles in relief; both for his apartment still in one piece, and that Rachael was alright. He should have thought to tell her where the extra blankets and pillows were before he left, though.
Riot quietly moved through the apartment, cleaning up the takeout and putting any leftovers in the fridge. He grabbed a blanket and a pillow, and set everything up on the other end of the sofa. Gently, so as not to wake her, Riot took her jacket and folded it up on the sofa chair adjacent to the couch. Just as gently, he moved to slide his arms under her legs and her head, in the hopes of letting her sleep on the other end with the proper comforts he'd prepared.
"Peace, my man." She says as her Bye. With the door closed, she sits back up and immediately starts to look around. There's so little in there in the way of decorations. There has to be something interesting here! After looking through every drawer and cabinet, she comes up empty and loses interest fast. His home felt more like a hotel than a house. And he said he would be gone till 10 or later. Time to burn some time!
In the span of him leaving till it became dark outside, she had snooped everywhere but his room. She did find where his room was and knew it by how much more stuff was in there. The urge to poke around was strong, but it was a bad idea. So his space was left untouched, all but the doorknob. Everything else, however, was a different story. She moved furniture around and put it back into place, went on the balcony for a good while as the sun set, ordered something small to eat and then went through her phone. By the time Riots bus reached his stop back home, she was curled up into the corner of the couch, using her jacket as a blanket. She was in a nice little disk wedge into the cushions with her cheek on the arm rest, sleeping.
#(( woops it ended up being a novel// sorry )#thread#little spitfire (rachael)#start a RIOT!!! (blast riot)
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