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joeshiestyslover · 7 months ago

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first sight- c. sturniolo

pairing: chris sturniolo x influencer!reader

summary: you are an influencer who first gained traction on youtube for your makeup videos and daily vlogs. you and tara have been best friends since you two collaborated over a year ago. she invites you to her 1 mil party where you meet a very special triplet.

warnings: language, mentions of alcohol, fluff

masterlist

lowercase intended

parties were never really your thing. sure, parties are apart of the influence lifestyle, but you never found yourself desiring to go to a party, get drunk, and stay out until three a.m. however your best friend, tara, is the complete opposite. she loves going to and throwing parties. every time, she tries to drag you with her, but most times, you just stay at home, either making content for your fans or simply lying in bed.

recently, she hit one million subscribes on her youtube channel and she immediately began planning a huge party that she wanted filled to the brim with friends and other influencers. the first person she invited was you. you were hesitant at first, but knowing how important this was to her, you agreed.

“come on, y/n, you have to go! it’s not like there’ll be random people there. larray’s gonna be there, jake and johnnie will be there. just please come, or at least consider it.” tara begs you. you sigh, knowing that she really wants you there. “okay i’ll go, but i may not stay for very long.” she immediately grins from ear to ear. “thank you!” she pulls you in for a hug, “you’ll have so much fun i promise.” you laugh at her excitement. “yeah, yeah, i’m sure.” you respond playfully.

a few weeks pass and it’s the night of the party. tara helped you pick out a sparkly minidress that shows off the tattoos littering your arms and some heels. you have to admit, you look good. the way your makeup accentuates your features and the way your outfit clings to your body makes you feel untouchable.

tara walks out of her bathroom after she finishes changing and looks you up and down, a huge smile on her face. “oh my god you look so good!” you return her smile, “you ready to go?” you ask her and she nods. “let’s go!” she interlocks her arm with yours and you two walk out of her apartment towards a limousine waiting outside. “there’s no fucking way you got a limo” you laugh, loving the effort your best friend put into the party. “of course i did! we need to arrive with some style.” she responds, leading you to the back of the large vehicle.

you both slide in and see champagne and some chocolates in front of you. tara grabs the bottle and opens it, pouring the drink into two glasses, holding one out to you. you accept it and tara holds out her flute, tapping it against yours before the both of you take a drink. music is softly playing in the limo as you two drink your champagne and laugh about random things.

you and tara arrive at the party where there are already a ton of people inside. the music is blasting through the speakers and the moment tara walks in, people begin to cheer after seeing the guest of honor. tara grabs your hand and begins leading you somewhere. “let’s get a drink!” she yells over the music. you two go over to the bar where you order a tequila shot to loosen you up and a modelo with lime. you throw the shot back and grab the modelo, squeezing the lime into it. you look around and see another one of your good friends, larray. you turn to tara, “i’m gonna go mingle. i’ll catch up with you in a bit.” she simply nods and you walk over to larray, tapping him on the shoulder. he turns around and his face lights up when he sees you. “hey y/n!” he brings you in for a hug, “i’m surprised you’re here!” he smiles at you. “me too, but it’s a tara yummy party, so i just had to go.” larray laughs at that, “well i’m so glad you came!” you both engage in conversation, talking about everything that’s going on in both your lives (and talking some shit about people you both hate).

tara’s talking with a few of her friends when she sees chris and nick sturniolo walking in. she excuses herself from the conversation and walks over to the two boys. “you made it!” she hugs them both. “of course we did! we wouldn’t miss this for the world!” nick replies and chris smiles, scanning the crowd, seeing a few familiar faces. “well, have fun and enjoy yourselves! there’s a lot of cool people here!” her face then lights up. “in fact, there’s someone i want you two to meet! she’s so fucking cool! come on i’ll find her!” she walks through the large crowd with chris and nick trailing behind her. tara spots you with your back turned to her, talking to larray. “oh there she is!” she points to you and chris immediately takes notice to your dress and your large back tattoo peeking out the top of the dress. “y/n!” she yells towards you.

you hear your name being called, so you turn around, being met with a smiling tara and two guys who look the same. you return her smile and walk over to her and she throws her arm around your shoulders. “what’s up?” you ask. “i want you to meet a couple of my friends! this is chris and nick sturniolo!” you look up at them and stick your hand out for them to shake. “hi i’m y/n.” nick is the first to shake your hand before moving your hand in front of chris. he takes your hand and shakes it gently, and you swear you can feel a sort of electricity run through your body at his touch.

chris on the other hand, is absolutely entranced by you. he swears he has never seen such a perfect human being in his life. the way your hair perfectly frames your facial features and the way your dress perfectly fits your body, you’re perfect in his eyes. he soon realizes he’s staring, and he snaps back to reality and the only thing he can get out of his mouth is: “nice to meet you.” you give him a smile in return. “i’ve seen some of your youtube videos,” nick speaks up, “you’re so funny.” you giggle at his compliment. “thank you. i try.”

while you’re talking to the two boys, you can’t seem to keep your eyes off chris. he’s one of the hottest men you’ve ever seen in your life. he’s exactly your type, brown shaggy hair, blue eyes, not too tall but definitely taller than you. he just looks so perfect.

as you’re all talking, tara notices that chris’ gaze never leaves you. she smirks and turns to nick, “hey, can you come with me to grab a drink?” he shrugs, “sure.” tara and nick walk away, leaving you and chris alone. both of you stay silent for a moment, unsure of what to say. you rock back and forth on your heels before chris finally says something, “i umm, i like your tattoos.” you lift your arms slightly, “thank you.” you blush a little, a small smile forming on your face. “i’m sorry i don’t usually talk this little. parties aren’t really my thing.” you say, but chris shakes his head. “no i get it. tara mentioned you’re not a party person.” you nod, “yeah i’m not. so you’re a youtuber as well right? with your brothers?” you try to make conversation. “yeah, it’s me, nick, and our other brother, matt” he replies. “and where is matt tonight?” “he’s back home. he’s not a party person either.” you nod in understanding. “i think i’ve seen some clips of your youtube on my for you page. nick was right, you are really funny.” chris smiles at you. “thank you, chris.” you can feel the heat rising up to your cheeks.

chris stays silent for a moment, contemplating what to say. “i’m sorry i just have to tell you, you’re really pretty. like really pretty.” your eyes widen a little at how forward he’s being, but you smile at him nevertheless. “you’re so sweet chris. you’re really cute too.” you can see a blush forming on his cheeks as he looks down at the floor for a moment. he looks back up at you to say something but he’s interrupted by sam and colby calling out both your names. you look over and see the two of them walking over to you, colby immediately bringing you in for a quick hug while same daps up chris, them engaging in their own conversation. “hey y/n! how are you?” “i’m great! how’s the ghost hunting going?” you ask, smiling up at him. colby chuckles, “oh, y’know, same old, same old. you should come explore a haunted place with us some day.” you wince. you don’t do ghosts. “i don’t know about that colbs.” “oh come on, it’s so fun. just give it a chance.” you sigh, “i’ll think about it.” he nods, “i’ll accept that answer. hey, i’m gonna go make some rounds, but i’ll see you later, yeah?” “yeah of course! see ya.” he smiles and walks away with sam into the crowd.

you turn back to chris. “sorry, what were you saying?” he looks back at you. “i wanted to know if i could maybe get your number? we could go out sometime?” he asks nervously, fiddling with his fingers a bit. you grin, “i would love that chris.” he smiles and takes out his phone to hand it to you. you quickly type your number into his phone, handing it back to him. you two talk for a bit before tara and nick make their way back over to the two of you. “how are you guys doing over here?” she asks with a knowing look on her face. “we’re doing great.” chris tells her, smiling over at you. “well, i’m glad. y/n we should go find jake and johnnie. they’ve been asking about you” you nod and motion for her to lead the way, but before you go, you turn over to chris and nick, “it was nice meeting you guys,” you look at the younger triplet, “and text me sometime.” tara then leads you away from the two guys, navigating your way through the large crowd.

nick looks at chris, “so i’m assuming you shot your shot with her? after talking about her for weeks?” nick smiles at his younger brother. “yeah i did.” he smiles proudly, thanking the universe for giving him the chance to talk to you.

you and tara are walking through the crowd when she asks you: “so it went well with chris?” you nod, “yeah it did.” you blush a little at the thought of him. “i’m glad.” you raise an eyebrow, “you planned that didn’t you?” “sure did.”

a/n: def gonna make a part 2 to this

tags: @sassysturniolo2008 @chrissypook

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inbabylontheywept · 1 year ago

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The Condom Bomber

The crux of the story is Brother Dean. Brother Dean was…is…a hate preacher. Red or blue, everyone agreed on that. His origins and his motivations, those were a little more mysterious. Different groups had their own legends. I had a class with a guy that was part of the campus pro-life movement, and the tale he gave me is the one that I give the most credence to. According to him, Brother Dean had started out as a “normal” pro-life preacher. He’d gone around campus, led parades, given speeches… And then he’d gotten punched in the face.

This led to a lawsuit against the school. Something about failing to provide adequate protection? The main result was that he got something like half a mil. Half a mil is an incredible amount if you’re still working, but he’d tried to use the money to fund a sort of pro-life career, and it had just… trickled down. Ten years later he was running dead low on funds, and had taken to the particularly dumb strategy of trying to get punched in the face again. You know. For economic reasons. It had become kind of a vicious cycle: He’d started off saying some objectionable shit to try and goad someone into taking the punch. The worse the shit he said was, the harder it became for him to find work doing anything else, and the harder it became for him to find work doing anything else, the less he had to lose by saying really objectionable shit. Throw in two years of living on ramen, and he was so desperate to get punched that he was quoting the Westboro Baptists. If you know, you know. The pro-life group, to their credit, hated him the most out of anyone. They viewed him as the ultimate sellout, someone who was actively making their positions and beliefs look worse by the day, solely for his own enrichment. The other conservative groups held him in the same regard. The rest of the campus hated him for simpler reasons. It would be difficult to find anyone more detested anywhere else on site. Brother Dean’s antithesis was the Trojan Warrior. TW was a normal student by day, but maybe once a month or so he’d don his hoplite armor and roam around, handing out free condoms. Trojan condoms. It was kind of his shtick. Between the costume, and the whole character that he had going on, most people didn’t really recognize his alter ego. I myself am pretty good with faces, so one day I noticed he was behind me in the foodcourt and decided to thank him by paying for his smoothie. Small tangent, but if you’re looking to get good stories, buying lunches for interesting people works like magic. TW decided that he was going to thank me for thanking him by giving me something like 10 feet of condom roll. I was mortified, aggressively single, and on SSRI’s. He was not sure how many of those were permanent. I wasn’t either. He wound up giving me just a handful, and said that if nothing else, they could probably be used as water balloons. I accepted. Who doesn’t like water balloons?

I finished my lunch with the warrior and left, considering targets for the "balloons". I passed by Brother Dean near the main commons and had my lightbulb moment. I spent a few minutes watching him from a distance, trying to find the optimal angle to get him without getting caught on camera (he always had someone filing in the background, it was a necessary thing for his hopeful future lawsuit). The time delay was useful for helping me realize that it really wasn't worth it. The sun had been bearing down so hard that the glue in my shoes had melted, and getting him wet would be a favor that day.

So, mildly disappointed, I shelved my dream and left.

A week later the monsoons hit. I left one class and ran to a campus computer commons to try and get some shelter and study between classes. Just before I got through the door, I saw Brother Dean, umbrella in hand, setting up his speaker and mic. He wasn't technically allowed this far into campus (the commons were owned by the city) but he'd gone to where his audience was and security was probably holed up somewhere cozy. I could hardly blame them.

I made it up to the second floor and started studying when the mic picked up. All glass buildings are not very soundproof. He was loud, and he was annoying, and he was outside a library, under a balcony, and-

And I had condoms. Water balloon condoms.

And he was under a balcony.

I put my laptop away, pulled out my condom roll, and went to the bathroom. I wasn’t sure how big a condom could actually stretch, so I just kept filling it until it was about the size of basketball. Maybe a smaller watermelon? And thus armed, I waddled my way out into the halls. I cannot emphasize enough just how unsubtle this was. I was cradling this big, overfilled condom like some sort of phallic ghost baby, and it was so heavy that I sort of had to squat as I went. People saw me. Lots of people saw me. I passed by one room full of computer science students, all learning C++, and three of them waved at me. And I waved back in that my-arms-are-full-but-I’m-excited-to-see-you-too way, where you jut your wrist up a little bit and flap your hand around excitedly. I did, eventually, make it to the balcony. The building’s high ceilings made the second-floor thing kind of a misnomer: I was easily forty feet up. I scooched my way to the edge, and the view I had… it was perfect. Brother Dean was directly underneath, thank God. If he’d been even seven or eight feet out, I’m not sure if I could’ve shotput the condom-bomb far enough to hit him directly. Better yet his cameraman was only a few feet away from him, far too close to catch any action going up 40 feet above. I managed to wrestle the payload onto the balcony, and with a gentle push, I sent it and Dean to destiny. I realized that I’d made a mistake almost as soon as the condom began to fall. You know that sound that bombs make in cartoons, that long drawn out whistle? The condom made that sound. I had a second education in the seriousness of my mistake when the condom hit Dean’s umbrella. It did not pop. Of course it didn’t pop. I had no experience with condoms, I swear to you, I promise, I did not know how much they could stretch. You can fit your whole leg into them. You can fit them over whole park benches. A gallon and a half of water was nothing compared to that. It broke Dean’s umbrella. It hit the top, and it snapped the stem like a twig, and then-

Violence. Unspeakable violence. It clipped Dean’s shoulder and stretched down to his knees before recoiling back to its original shoulder height. It did not bounce. It floated in space, no wasted energy in the collision. One hundred percent of the kinetic energy, all 3300 Joules of it, were discharged into this sad wretch of a man. He did not collapse. There was no time for that. He rotated on his axis. It was as if the hand of God had reached down and grabbed him about his waist, only to twist. In a fraction of a second, his head filled the space where his ass had been and his ass filled the space where his head had been, and then his cheek, carried by the shuriken motion of his body, slammed into the pavement with a noise like Shaq slam dunking a porkchop. Maybe wetter.

He did not move.

I panicked.

I want to make it clear: I did not mean to assault this man. I meant to get him wet and embarrassed. But I also have to confess that this was a beating. Mike Tyson himself can only put about 1600 Joules into one of his punches, and if he hit me I would bounce off five walls before I fell. I would not wish 3300 Joules upon anyone.

I walked into the building and sat myself in the back of the C++ class. The people next to, to my immense and eternal gratitude, did not question why I was wet.

A minute later, Brother Dean stormed into the building with his microphone.

He yelled. He screamed. He hollered. He informed the entire world that he had been assaulted, with a condom, by someone on the second floor. I was ecstatic that he was alive.

Every person in that class knew who had brought this hell upon them. Every single one of them knew it was me. And if I’d done this to someone else, some Steven Crowder, some Ben Shapiro, someone would’ve thrown me to the wolves. It would have only taken one person in that room of sixty. But Brother Dean was hated by everyone, literally everyone, and so the entire class sat in silence.

Some of that silence was gleeful, and some of it was bored, and some of it, a very small amount, was directly disapproving, but even the disapproving silence carried an understanding. A note of, “Yes, yes, that was very irresponsible, and you should not do that again, but who could blame you? Something needed to happen. Not that something, but…something.”

Security could be given grace to ignore the man when it was raining, and he was just outside the building, but they were not given such grace when he was inside with a microphone. Just a few short minutes later, a golfcart pulled up, and he was summarily marched out. There was maybe a minute of silence after that before the professor announced that his class was not open to visitors.

I left. He’d made his point.

It was a few weeks before I saw Brother Dean again, and his black eye still hadn’t healed all the way when I did. He was, however, still preaching the same old things as always. Percussive maintenance works better on vacuum tubes than human brains. I will say that he definitely made a point to stay away from balconies after that. And the next time it rained, I actually went out to watch him put his speaker and his mic into the back of a wagon and wheel it off the campus.

It appeared that he’d developed some opinions about the kind of weather he was willing to preach hate in.

#writing #writblr #creative fiction #the last tag is for legal reasons #college stories #biography #memoir #hijinks #Babylon-Lore #Babylon-TopPick

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kenlvry · 2 years ago

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LISTEN TO ME RN HEAT ME TF OUT STANS GANG + CRAIG DOIGN THE LIPSTICK TREND FROM TICTOK WITH READER

the lipstick trend with stan and craigs team

an, I AM LISTENLING ANON DONT WORRY. no idea what you mean by heat out though 🤨 , 17-18 and gn reader but use of her in tolkiens

kenny

he was the one who suggested it, it came across his fyp one day and he sent it to you "lets do this come over rn." "you asked, why dont you come to my house? 🤨" "why don't i cum in your mom" "HUH 😧" "im here."

you both definitely argue on what lipstick you should wear "okay but i don't even use pink lipstick" "well you should" "its light colour its not gonna appear" "well fuck 😒"

the process of kissing his face is wild, he would suggest to do his lips as the first place "KENNY HOW ARE WE GONNA DO THIS TREND IF YOU KEEP TRYING TO MAKE OUT WITH ME" "ITS NOT MY FAULT"

after like2 hours you finally get the lipstick on his face. now the tiktok was even harder he wouldn't stop laughing. you'd give up and he apologises while laughing

thank god you guys were able to finish it under 1 hour it turned out really good, at the end of the video he kissed you and you wanted to cut that part but he said keep it for like and its true the comments were all about the kiss on the last clip

kyle

okay he too wanted to ask you first but he was kinda shy and waited for you to ask and you did!! woohoo for kyle

"kyle wanna do this" "OKAY" he insists on picking your lipstick and picks the ugliest colour like what 😐

to him there was no such thing as an ugly colour buy it didn't suit your face so no way.

the process of it was calm, he at first wanted to put on the lipstick for you but you looked like a clown has mans never put on lipstick??

he watches you as you kiss him and reapply lipstick and then kiss him again, he feels like a princess fr 🤭🤭

he hasn't seen his face yet so when you record and he saw his face he laughs out loud, "LMAO WHY DO I LIKE THAT??" "WDYM"

you would tell him to take off his hat which he refuses but you looked too cute, when it posted cartman was first to comment and you can already tell what he commented "ew gay" your followers defended you two though 🤭

stan

stan blushes internally when you ask him. "sure im down" DEEP DOWN HE WANTS KIDNAP YOY AND KEEP YOU TO HIMSELF

"what lipstick do you think matches me best, pink or red?" "id say my tip colour" "WHAT 😧"

he has to hold in the very urge to puke every time you kiss him because like you look so cute omg.

he looks in the mirror and is js like "damn, i did it". HE LOVES IT SOOOO MUCH YOU CAN TELL HE'S BLUSHING ONGG ‼️

he even directs you like "do here next, okay now here" its so cute 🤭🤭

when you record and the camera pans to him, he smiles and covers his face blushing bc he can't contain it. it was such a cute video and got iver 2 mil likes. cartman definitely commented "i bet you had to change your clothes 10 times"

cartman

"cartman lets do this" "what." "wdym? cmon its cute" "y/n no offense but that is the most gayest shit i've ever seen" " NO ITS NOT UTS CUTE" "my reputation is at stake if i do that be so for real" "okay I'm asking kyle then" "lets do it."

he actually been wanting to ask you for weeks now but doesn't know how so winwin. you take your absolute time picking your lipstick and he couldn't be more done with "hurry up this doesn't even effect anything" "shut up cartman if i use the right one people will ask what lipstick it is and i get views"

picking a lipstick was already a big deal just imagine the process "ew gay not on my lips" "cartman 😐" tbh he wish he could just make out with you rn but yk how mans is

now recording is even more a hassle "JUST SMILE IS IT SO HARD TO CRACK A SMILE" "NOT WHILE IM LOOKING LIKE THIS" the most he does is wipes your lipstick off and then he just gives a 🙄 look until the end of the video

the comments are just him getting teased at clydes commenting "NAHHH CAN'T BELIEVE HE AGREED TO THIS" kyles is "i can tell that this took a long time" and then wendys is "is that cartman or a clone of him". cartman is pissed af at the comment, he told you his reputation is at stake 😒.

he actually has it saved downloaded and also is his live wallpaper sooo.

butters

butters is the one who asked you this " um y/n can we do this? 😣" while twiddling his fingers, "OKAY"

he's all giddy and smily during the process, after every kiss his blushes intensifies and by the end of it he is just.. 🔴

even though it is the most simplest video ever he has to have a tutorial, he is asking questions for everything man, how do i wipe the lipstick, what do i do, do i smile when its on me , do i laugh??

you tell him what he thinks he should he and he starts kissing you bc rn the sexual tension between you two is intense (to him atleast, he thinks thinks hand holding is already intense)

everyone comments on how cute he is and yk how tiktok is so people comment "does he whimper" "submissive who?" and hes likw WHATTTTT 🧍

clyde

when you suggested this he nodded so hard his head probably was about to fall off. "clyde you wanna do this" "DO I???" ..... "well.. do you?" "i mean yeah it's like a way of- yes i wanna do it"

he loves any lipstick you wear so he lets you pick. after every kiss he looks in the mirror and kicks his feet giggling and you just stand there 🤨

he also tries to make it a makeout session like kenny, when you kissed on his lips he holds your neck and literally makes out with like cnon we have 9 more

when you first hit record and yk how the guy has to wipe your lipstick off, nah he grabbed you by the chin and slams his lips with yours "WHY DIS YOU DO THAT??" "its called content,you wouldn't know with your 9 likes and 70 views"

well you kept the clip and everyone in the comments were talking about it "need a boyfriend like you y/n" "why can't my boyfriend be like this" clyde is obviously gloating bc he had the idea.

tolkien

most romantic man you know, is the first to ask you. "y/n can we do this?" "OKAY BOO 😝"

"hmm which lipstick do you think babe?" "i think every lipstick makes you pretty, it doesn't matter if it doesn't suit you because in my eyes you look beautiful in anything ☺️" "what if i wore kim kardashians 2013 met gala dress" "might have to rethink what i said"

he smiles while you kiss him here and there, every once a while he kisses you back, it was such a cute moment for you two😝🤞🤞

when recording he looks at you while smiling during the whole video and it blew up fast because of that

"the way he looks at her" "wishing he was like this" "you got the bag that man is inlove", it blew in seconds fr

craig

"craig lets do-" "okay" "i didnt even ask you yet" "I'll do anything if its with you" "what if i asked you to have a threesome" ".....if its makes you happy idk.."

idk about you but i think he acts like he doesn't care but inside he is so happy you asked he's been wanting to ask you this but doesn't know how to start up the convo

he doesn't care what lipstick or where you kiss him, its just the way you press your lips on him and look at it then quickly reapply to do it again because it wasn't pigmented enough.

when recorded, he doesn't just wipe he makes you turn to face him by grabbing your chin, and he doesn't let go and just looks at you with those yk siren eyes.

people are simping over him ong "damn girlie share for us" "you mean OUR boyfriend" "tryna find someone as hot as him" and you are pissed fr he laughs at you cursing out the people, like bae dw my eyes only fo you 😝🤞

tweek

"tweek, wanna do this?" "but what if I can't remove the lipstick stain" "tweek what dw i have makeup remover" "WHAT IF THAT DOESN'T WORK 🤯🤯" "TWEEK"

okay so the lipstick may turn out ugly bc of how shaky he is but ITS OKAY BC ITS TWEEK DUH, "a-are you sure you dont want to redo this?" "tweek its fine"

he insists on redoing it the 2nd try turns our worse because he's even more twitchy because of how close you are☺️☺️☺️

his face is just red because he keeps wiping it off with his hands so you can redo it and its obvious too

recording it was so funny because you can't stop laughing at the smudge lipsticks

when posted the comments were so cute but... uh questionable some were "the way the smudges are so obvious 😭😭❤️" or "wishing my future relationship will be like this 🤭" and some were just "tip colour when?? 😜"

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kamiana-ruzha · 13 days ago

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so, because of what is happening on twitter with opbee currently, i think some things need to be said.

for context: there's a trend "we listen we don't judge" going around social media, which, well, most of the time you're not listened and judged and roasted instead. so someone posted an 'opbee edition', asking of people's opinions on the pairing. at first it's been...more or less okay. but i won't be wrong if i say shit hit the fan rather quickly.

there were words about how disgusting the ship is. how disgusting are the shippers. there were words that the shippers must be investigated. there was a death wish and i think kai agreed with it?

why there was so much hate?

because people see them as father and son. because Bumblebee is infantilised by the fandom. and that is the problem. not the shipping or shippers.

so... let's go over all the facts, okay? calmly. read all of this post please.

1) Father and son

the biggest argument why this is a 'trash ship' is because people *see* them as father and son. yes. *see them*. they're not father and son. there's no canon confirmation of Prime ever adopting Bumblebee, or Bee being blood-related to him. if you google it -- you'll get a wattpad AU! fanfic. they're not canonically related in any way.

why do people see them like that?

as far as i'm aware, it started in g1 and some tfone voice actors said that they see them like that too, but a) i don't have the interview, b) it all grew out of a meme.

and that argument crumbles after a couple questions. what a father would Prime be for sending his alleged son to war? even after his arch nemesis literally yanked his alleged son's throat out, taking his voice away (tfp)? yeah, that's a great father an son relationship, don't you think?

a less... scientific or journalistic or rational, call it what you want, answer, is...daddy issues.

people just see Prime as a father figure and because Bumblebee is infantilised he's seen as his child.

i have daddy issues too, i don't deny it. my father was emotionally unavailable until recently. but to people who say only fatherless ship opbee -- look into your own traumas. please. talk to a therapist and then think twice about telling others something like that.

2) Bumblebee is a child

no he is not. there's no canon info about how old he is. from what I was able to find - he's six millions old. SIX MILLIONS. Optimus is nine millions, and that COMBINING his existence as Orion Pax (4-4,5 mil) and as Optimus (the rest). so, do the math. Bumblebee might be just a little older than him, older than PRIME, but a bit younger than PAX.

the infantilisation of Bumblebee is a huge problem for transformers fandom and the canon itself. no-one takes him seriously. and yes, i agree, he might be in his very late teens or a young adult, but he's not a child, not a toddler, not a middleschooler, not a minor. look at Bayverse Bumblebee. look at War for Cybertron (especially Netflix) Bumblebee. look at Earthspark Bumblebee. even G1 is *not* a child.

think about it. would a child be able to kill Skyquake or any other Decepticon (tfp)? would a child be a mercenary, that avoided war up until it killed cybertron (netflix wfc)? wouldn't a child hesitate when sent through the city that is currently being destroyed and heavily bombarded to tell some guy named 'Optimus' that Zeta Prime is dead (wfc game)?

think about it twice. rewatch anything but animated while watching for "signs of adult personality".

think thrice before saying Bee is a child or child-coded. at most, he's neurodivergent-coded, or just someone who's not really in touch with his emotions (think the rage moments)

3) age gap

there's none. i said about it slightly higher. at most their age gap is three millions old. that is insignificant for beings that are essentially immortal, unless they get sick or killed.

now think of all the mech+human pairings. how come that kind of age gap is normalised?

i'm not saying that to shame the fans of Charlie/Bee or Mirage/Noah or Optimus/Michaela or any other, no. i like those ships. every ship is relevant.

the double standard and hypocrisy is not. it's not okay.

4) all, or anything of listed above makes people uncomfortable

it's okay. your feelings are relevant.

and i, a shoker, don't like opmeg too much. i didn't like that my whole twitter was only them after tfone. you know what i did? i added 'opmeg' and 'megop' into ignored words. and that's all. my soul is at peace.

is it so hard to do the same? let the shippers be. are they hurting you? no. are they hurting anyone else? no. so just use the feature twitter and tumblr have had for a long while and bluesky has too. use it. and ignore the ship if it makes your eyes hurt. spare yourself and spare the people that like the ship.

5) there's no dynamics

no there is. watch fall of cybertron trailer. rethink all "Optimus I'd die for you" and actual deaths.

6) the shippers are sick and other words people say

you know what i read? i read that someone thinks that blocking shippers isn't enough, they want them, they want me dead for shipping and creating content. that i'm weird for shipping opbee. that i'm sick. that i, and others, need to be investigated.

no, no we are not weird. i don't know about everyone, i only know about myself. i have issues. i have trauma, hell, who doesn't? i know it could have been worse, for example, if i stayed in Kyiv after the war began. opbee helps me cope. and it helps not only me.

have you.. actually mindfully, objectively read what is posted under opbee tag? yes there's a lot of valveplug, but have you seen the size difference? the kink is tickled.

but the content shippers make is wholesome, cute and comforting. hell, opbee helped me get over my self halm issues, slightly helped with my anger issues, that's what my first fics of them are about.

any ship might be someone's way to cope. respect it. respect people's feelings. it saddens me that empathy doesn't exist anymore. think what impact your words may have on someone before writing those words. think for a moment more. and think again, would it be worthy? would saying that someone's favourite ship is shit and they're sick for loving it be worthy of someone killing themselves? and i'm not exaggerating -- that happened many times.

if you think it's worth it...just block me, okay? like i blocked many people who asked to block them if you ship opbee.

respect other people. respect their feelings, their ships, their requests.

and don't be a dick.

#opbee #bumblebee #transformers #optimus prime #macaddam #transformers prime #war for cybertron

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months ago

Note

Would I be the asshole to have a luxurious celibacy party with my (ex) future in law's money instead of a wedding ? 👰👯

Sorry for any grammar mistake, English is not my first language.

My(29F) partner(29M) of 12 years cheated on me. I caught him a few months before the wedding and called everything off.

My ask is more about my in-laws and appearing like a gold digger so I will spend some time explaining my relationship with them. I don't care about what my ex thinks. He is dead to me.

My ex's family is old money, mine is blue collar. His family has always been really nice and welcoming.

Aside from a few family vacations paid for me here and there, I never benefited financially from their wealth. For gift-giving occasions they were tactfully giving me sentimental gifts, so I could return the favor and match with them in term of budget.

His parents wanted to teach their future heir the value of money, and he didn't have access to the family funds during his studies. They were even frugal in his allowance (he obv couldn't qualify for scholarship) and we both had to take jobs during our studies to support ourselves (my scholarships didn't cover for all expenses). I got my diploma before him (shorter studies) and supported him financially during the last three years of his studies. He has had a (very) high earning job and access to family funds for a year.

When he finished his studies, we started to plan for the wedding.

His family wanted an extravagant wedding, I would have preferred a smaller event, my fiance had no opinion. I finally accepted because it made his family so happy, and like I said they have always been very good to me. I even ended up having a lot of fun with my ex MIL and SIL planning for things. I mostly referred to them as what was a "must have" for a wedding even if most of this seemed like a rich people extravagance to me.

The plan was for us (me and cheater) to pay 50% of the wedding. My parents were paying for 5% (I wouldn't dare tell them how much the whole thing was worth but they insisted to contributing). My IL were paying for the other 45%. I wanted to pay more, but my FIL told me that I let them have their way with the guest list and as such more than half of the guests were strictly theirs so it made sense that they were paying for them.

Then I caught him…

Obviously, no wedding will be happening but it's too late to cancel most stuff : venue, food, guest accommodation, dress, musicians, horses (yes. Horses. Rich people I swear).

My in-laws told me they are taking full responsibility for their son's cheating and will pay the whole wedding themselves. My ex SIL, who is also my best friend told me in confidence that they plan to make my ex reimburse them every penny.

I asked my MIL if I could keep the venue and organize a smaller event with my closest friends. She agreed.

I am calling it a celibacy party but the truth is I am devastated by what's happening. Full blown panick attack and crying myself to sleep…

I want a nice day outside with my friends and their children having fun. My family was overjoyed to finally have a joyfull family reunion for once, and I wanted to keep that. My niece (SIL's daughter whose I am the godmother of) plans to color my glorious useless white wedding dress with finger paints.

I suggested to my IL to come during the day event as our family has been blended long before we decided to make it official. My IL politely refused which yeah I understand. I didn't expected them to come, it was more to suggest them subtlety that I still want they in my life and I don't consider them responsible for their son's cheating.

Maybe the night event will be less kid friendly and I do intend to party hard in case it could make me forget the last twelve years of my life with my ex. There will be single men (close friends and family), and a lot of alcohol obviously but I don't see myself hooking up with anyone I would have previously invited TO MY OWN WEDDING. There will also be my previous ex, that I dated when we were 12 and who while celibate, is fully homosexual.

My ex learned about the plan and called me furious. He called me names (I don't care about the names a cheater calls me), but he said that it was a slap in the face of his parents and it makes me look like a gold digger. He also said that people will talk and my in-laws would look like fools among their guests when they will learn what happened in place of a wedding.

It makes me second guess myself. I asked again my in-laws and they told me that the event was mine, I could marry someone else at this venue and they couldn't blame me. I pressed again my SIL for her parents' true opinion (After all this time I struggle to understand rich people speak) : she admitted that they do think it's a bit in poor taste (That's the worst insult in rich people language) but my SIL told me it's still in better taste than putting your dick in some luxury sex-worker without condom a few months before your wedding (ex might have a love child with Another woman. It's a full shitshow but it's not mine anymore)

I am certain most people will call me NTA, as my ex SIL did, but I wonder if older people from richer backgrounds (and who are not my best friend) would agree… I do love my ex IL and I don't know how I will manage it but I want to keep them in my life and would cancel this stupid breakup party in a blink if I have to. I am not sure if tumblr has a lot of people fluent in old-fashioned old-money tradition, but it's still worth a shot. I am at still undecided about the whole thing and might change my opinion 13 times till this ask is published…

#aita #am i the asshole

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enmstorytime · 7 days ago

Text

The Contract

I put it in the introduction of my book, a promise that was tongue in cheek, that was meant in good fun, that would never, never, never actually have to be upheld: If I make $50,000,000 on this book, that's the last day I wear clothing. And to prove it to my fans, anyone who sends me the receipt for their purchase of this book has the right to host one party that I will attend in my new clothing-free life. I'll serve the drinks for the whole night.

When my editor looked over my introduction, he cocked his eyebrow, and simply said, "Bold."

"It's not like it's going to happen," I said. "Besides, with fifty mil in the bank, I could buy a house far enough from the public eye that I'd live my life in privacy. It wouldn't be too bad. Groceries would be delivered, and I guess it would be a good reason for me to never talk to my parents again."

"What about the book signings?" My editor asked, like this was a real conversation. "What about the promised parties."

"I don't know," I said shrugging. "It sounds kind of fun to me."

"A naked book signing sounds fun to you?" My editor said, sounding surprised."

"Once i earn that kind of money, I think my fans deserve whatever they want from me," I said, laughing. "But you've seen the sales on my last book. I barely made $10,000."

"You're writing is good though," my editor said. "It's a problem of marketing. And a naked book signing might just get the marketing up."

"No naked book signing until the fifty million," I said, surprised that my editor was even considering this.

"Okay, okay, no naked book signing... yet," My editor said. "But I think this promise of living forever naked and of becoming a free, naked bartender might be what we need to help your writing career really take off."

"I'm not a free, naked bartender," I said. "To get my services they have to buy the book."

"Fine, fine, whatever you say," my editor said. "But really, I think this is a stroke of marketing genius. We could make a website where people can buy your book, which would automatically submit the receipt, and then they'd be taken to your calendar where they could schedule your bartending services."

"It's never going to happen," I said.

"We could also get you on talk shows," my editor said. "No one is that excited to hear from any old writer. But the old cliche, sex sells, is really true."

"It won't sell $50,000,000 worth of books," I said.

"Of course, no one will believe you'd really go through with it," my editor said. "Unless... Would you be willing to sign a notarized contract agreeing to this deal? You'd sign for yourself, obviously, and we, the publishing company, would sign on behalf of your readers."

"I don't think that will be necessary," I said, laughing, even though my editor still looked more serious than I expected him to. "It's fifty million dollars."

"If it's never going to happen," my editor said, steepling his fingers and looking me up and down, "then why not sign a contract."

So, I did.

I went on talk shows before my book's publication, where late-night hosts made jokes about shrinkage, and workouts, and courage. One host even promised to have my contractual naked bartending party on his show. I laughed, and grinned, and leaned into the humor, enjoying what I assumed was my fifteen minutes of fame.

My friends all winked at me when they promised to buy my book, or they made me promise to not forget the little guys when I made my millions.

My parents were less understanding. My dad told me I was a shame to the family. Everyone at church kept telling he and my mom how they'd seen me on the TV, and how sorry they were that my parents had raised such a desperate, sinful, greedy child. My mom told me she'd never look at me again if I actually went through with becoming a nudist.

When the original sales numbers came in after my publication, I started to sweat. I made ten million. Every copy that had sold within a week, and my publishing company was preparing for a reprint.

"You better start looking at private jet," my editor said over the phone as he was sharing the numbers with me.

"You don't really think it'll happen do you?" I asked, my stomach performing somersaults. "It's just a temporary media hype, right?"

But it wasn't. As the initial reviews came in, my book was receiving praise, and there was buzz that I would be nominated for a few awards ("No matter what happens with this next print, you're contractually obligated to attend those award dinners, if you're nominated," my editor reminded me again over the phone).

The publishing company put me back on the media tour to talk about the writing. At each stop I was given time to plug what inspired the book, to talk about the process, and then the teasing started. Hosts asked if I was nervous. Hosts called me brave. The host who had promised to have me bartend on the air rolled out a drink cart that could be wheeled through his live studio audience.

My friends started asking for previews. "I'll see it all soon enough anyway," was said to me almost daily.

My dad called to tell me he'd written me out of the will, since I was already rich enough anyway. My mom stopped speaking to me.

At the second printing, my book sales landed at a crisp $42,000,000 in my bank account. Every copy sold. I had assumed that this printing would give me the answer on whether or not my life was going to change more drastically than it already had. I don't know if you've ever realized that everyone who meets you is actively picturing you naked, but I was now very aware that that was what was happening to me. All anyone wanted to talk to me about was my body. And my company was almost literally edging me, printing just enough books that I'd have to wait one more round before finding out whether I'd be allowed clothing again.

"You've got your private jet, right?" My editor asked. "If not, check your email, I've sent you a few listings for some small, cheaper jets. But you'll definitely need one."

Out of caution I bought myself a secluded cabin in the woods, far enough from civilization that I could still go outside and enjoy the sun, even if I had to go out sans all my clothing. I told no one where my cabin was.

I was back on the talk show circuit. This time we weren't talking about the writing, we talked about the printing details, we talked about the number of books that would need to sell before I had to honor my contract. My publishing company sent copies of the contract to each host, and I heard the stipulations read over and over again while audiences wolf-whistled and jeered. The website to buy my book and schedule my bartending services was posted at the bottom of the screen. Each talk show ended with the host promising that I would be back once my next printing had sold out.

Some fans started a website that had one of those thermometer charts that people often use for fundraising events. The visual of 42/50 hit home harder than anything else had. Under the chart were pages and pages of AI renditions of what I looked like under my clothes.

"Listen, it's over," my editor said over the phone one night. "The pre-sale numbers for your next printing put you at $75,000,000."

My heart plummeted.

"I gotta say, I don't envy you," my editor continued. "The publishing company wants to have a recorded event where we break the news to you, and where you turn your clothing over to us."

"It's not in my contract that that would be recorded," I said. "I'd prefer to just ship everything, and then probably never come back into your office, thanks."

"Believe me, I get it," my editor said, and I could hear the grin on his face. "And you're right, it's not in your contract. But I think you should do it. We're drafting a new contract that I think you'll like."

"Will I get my clothes back if I do the recording?" I asked, allowing myself a second of hope that he immediately squashed.

"God no," he said, chuckling. "You're our gold mine, and we aren't just going to give that up. But, we'll censor you on the recording. The minute there's full frontal, blurring effects will go on. You'll also be given a guaranteed five more printings of this book, and a contract for five books of your choice, plus a memoir deal that you'll write after five years all about your first five years as the world's most public nudist."

"I don't think so," I said.

"I would reconsider," my editor said. "This allows you to ease into your exposure. Sure, the live studio audience won't have the blur, but the world at large will. Eventually, you'll end up somewhere online, and everyone will see everything, but this buys you a little more time. Plus, the company is throwing in a private jet, since I know you haven't bought one yet."

I hadn't bought the jet. But now, I knew I needed one, otherwise I'd be pushing my way through busy terminals, the only naked person getting pressed up on by the hundreds of people hauling their luggage.

"It's tempting," I said.

"You're alternative is that we will send our enforcement team to collect what is ours," my editor said. "And you know how hard it is to schedule things as a company of this size. It's likely we'd forget to send you warning, so you could be out in the street, and our big, burly enforcers could show up and tear the clothes right off your body, in front of everyone, and those beautiful camera phones won't give you the same guarantee of a modesty blur."

"Fine," I said, understanding that my publishing company would be getting what they wanted.

The printing came and sold. My editor was right, my bank account now had over $75,000,000, and that was with the cost of my small, private cabin in the woods taken out. I signed the new contract the day of the recording in my editor's office before I was escorted to a filming studio. I had packed up every piece of clothing I owned, and had given the publishing company's enforcers keys to my home and my cabin so they could ensure that I was living up to my end of the contract. I hadn't withheld any clothing.

In the filming studio, my editor called me up on stage. Surrounding me on stage were at least fifteen mannequins, each dressed in something that had been mine. One was dressed in my talk-show suit. One was dressed in my favorite jockstrap that I used to wear on dates when I hoped to get lucky.

I wore my normal clothes: t-shirt, jeans, tennis shoes, baseball cap. I wanted today to feel as normal as possible, even though I had barely slept the night before, even though I knew today would not be a normal day.

The program wasn't long. I sat across from my editor, both of surrounded by mannequins, the jock-strap clad one framed by the two of us. He asked me about each outfit that was displayed. I told him the stories of where I got them, why I picked them, what I would miss about them.

"And which outfit will you miss the most?" my editor asked.

"The only answer to that question is the one that I have on right now," I said, and the audience chuckled appreciatively. Hungrily.

"I'd miss that one too, if I were you," he said to more laughs. "But the time has come to say goodbye."

The blood rushed to my face and to my crotch.

"I've been instructed to give you one last choice," my editor said. "Would you like to hand over your clothes or have them taken from you?"

Without giving me time to respond, two burly men appeared out of nowhere. Their hands groped and grabbed at my clothing, and my arms and legs moved at their command as I was shucked of everything.

In seconds, almost as quickly as they had appeared, they were gone, and with them every stitch of clothing I had worn today. There was no ceremony, no gentleness, no gradual removal to acclimate to new levels of nudity. I was fully clothed one moment. Completely naked the next.

And I stood there, hands at my sides, processing that I didn't even say goodbye to my clothing, that I would never again feel denim on my legs, or cotton sleeves against my arms. It took me nearly a full minute standing in front of my editor and my live audience to realize that I hadn't reached down to cover my cock.

#enm #gay #12 days of enm-mas

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brf-rumortrackinganon · 4 months ago

Note

About Harry's comment that he was "literally" cut off financially -

This is just my speculation, but like you, I also assume that Harry still gets some sort of annual allowance from Charles and that he absolutely lied in the Oprah interview.

What I think he meant is that-

1. Part of their salary, their allowance from the Duchy of Lancaster (at the time, under the Queen) was stopped. Obviously, because they stopped working for The Crown.

2. Their salary from the Duchy of Cornwall (at the under Charles) stopped. Read somewhere that this was in the range of 3 to 4 mil.

3. Their official expenses for their staff, likely being covered separately by the Duchy/BP stopped.

4. Their upkeep expenses like travel, housing etc, being covered by the Duchy/BP stopped.

5. Their official security, being covered by the govt, stopped.

6. Whatever perks their diplomatic status afforded them, stopped. I'm assuming this is what Canada/Trudeau said he won't be covering post March 2020. And so they fled to USA.

7. Private expenses - household, lifestyle etc, being covered privately by Charles via the Duchy stopped. I'm assuming this included clothing allowances, holidays that weren't comped by friends, rentals or lease for homes anywhere other than crown property, like their Cotswold home.

Like you said, I do think Charles privately funds Harry. Either via a trustfund that may have been set up ages ago, and so Harry takes that for granted and it doesn't count in Harry's mind. Or, Charles gives them an annual lump sum.

Of course, he may very well be spending his inheritance from Diana or the Queen mother as well. But both harry and meghan live their life like they don't much care about where their money comes from. They also doy seem to much effort into their Netflix, Spotify deals. We know they don't have any brand deals. So the money must come from somewhere.

And Harry keeps going over the UK every year around the same time each year. It can't be as simple as just a layover enroute to Invictus. My personal conspiracy theory (I have no rational explanation for it) is that he goes to UK, and stays at Windsor, to sign whatever documentation in person, so he can recieve this money from Charles.

Maybe part of the deal is that he comes and sign for it in person. And staying at Windsor makes it easier to meet with the lawyers or staff that handles this for him. He usually comes around April or May. His megxit trial separation review was March 2021. In my mind atleast, his annual trips in April or May along with that review date.

Another thing is that it was around this same time last year, in 2023, that negotiations for Harry's coronation appearance were happening. The result of which was that Meghan was absent (disinvited?) and Harry, quietly, weekly, came and went and did not create much of fuss for the way he was completely excluded from the coronation pomp. I think he may have got some money back then as well, and likely, got a bonus due his dad's promotion.

Old ask from June 2nd

I suspect Harry was given some money around the coronation too, and I feel like there might’ve been a condition that required Meghan to be radio silent for the whole weekend.

We talked about it at the time, but it was *very* strange, and very noticeable, that she completely disappeared for Coronation Weekend, considering that her usual MO is to smother us in PR any time the BRF steps out as a family - like trooping, Remembrance Day, post-summer holidays, the Platinum Jubilee, The Queen’s funeral. (Yes, she papwalked the first second she could, during the coronation concert, but by then most of the official festivities were over and no one really cared.)

I suspect maybe Meghan had gotten some kind of money for the coronation too. Probably a “half now, half after if you cooperate” kind of deal as I think that’s the only way Meghan would agree to anything. Or maybe Charles’s letters she leaked about just before the coronation (the ones where she claimed Charles names the racist royals) actually worked and they paid her for her silence. 🤷‍♀️

But anon picked up something I hadn’t — Harry really does have a pattern of going to the UK in the spring and what if it actually is tied to him getting the allowance from Charles?

Let’s review:

March 2020 - Sussex “farewell” tour

April 2021 - Philip’s funeral

April 2022 - secret Windsor visit on the way to The Hague Invictus Games that Meghan leaked because no one actually saw them. They reportedly wanted a meeting with The Queen, but she required them to meet with Charles and Camilla first. Supposedly they were late and never got to meet The Queen. I think this is the visit where Harry claimed he was making sure The Queen was protected and had good people around her.

June 2022 - Platinum Jubilee visit

September 2022 - Sussex “revenge” tour, overshadowed by The Queen’s illness and passing, royal mourning, and the funeral.

May 2023 - Harry returns for the coronation

June 2023 - Harry returns for lawsuit hearing/trial. Conveniently he’s in the country the same time that Charles is traveling and named Harry as a Counsellor of State.

February 2024 - Harry returns to see Charles after cancer diagnosis. He tries to see Kate but William blocks him.

May 2024 - Harry returns for 10th anniversary Invictus Games service. He doesn’t see Charles because Charles didn’t read Harry’s mind that he wanted to be personally invited by him despite an offer being made through staff. He tries to see Kate again but William blocks him.

I’m going to have to remember this theory next spring to check if the pattern continues.

#brf #Sussexes #coronation #theories #allowance theory

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bobosbillionsknives · 9 months ago

Note

i agree with a lot of your points about knives, i do also think he is aroace of some kind (demi imo), but the way he ignores bodily autonomy wasn't a theme that was new to stampede. the way he consumes other plants and forced vash to use his angel arm are examples of it, though less explicitly 'sexual'. either way, his actions weren't born out of sexual attraction, he simply thinks that all plants are an extension of himself and he can use their bodies as he pleases since its for a 'greater purpose'. he is not a predator but he isn't innocent either

Oh no no no no no no no I do NOT wanna give the impression that I am genuinely defending knives is ANY way. 😭

I completely agree with everything you're saying. He is inarguably abusive. Saying he's not would be a wild ass claim to make. 🙏 My only argument here is that it isn't specifically sexual, but I'll get more into that in a bit. 😝 I have SO MUCH to say abt this...so I'm gunna use this as an excuse to word vomit on y'all. Thank you for bringing this to me I am itching.CRAVING to talk about my favorite girls always. 🤗💖

INSANE ESSAY POSTING LETS GOO !!!

I think your point on Knives seeing the plants as an extension of himself is SPOT ON!!! He does the same thing with Vash too. He's doing it because hes so stuck up his own ass he seriously thinks there is no possible way he could ever be wrong, everyone else is just too blind or stupid to see it his way. That's why he does the whole "eternal suffering for Vash the Stampede" bit. He genuinely cannot comprehend that Vash just fundamentally disagrees with him. He thinks if Vash goes out and sees every horrible thing a human can be he'll finally give up the hippy dippy act and face this false reality Knives made up as a coping mechanism so he never has to actually face any of his problems. Cause stabbing all your problems away is waaaaay easier than actual growth or change. Top ten girls who are trapped by the horrors of their past 😂!

Knives has a blatant misunderstanding of people's worth outside of himself. He disregards the lives of others constantly, he literally murdered 20 mil+ and was genuinely confused when Vash was mad at him for it. He doesn't take anything seriously. He especially doesn’t take physical pain seriously, unless it’s happening to himself. [DID YOU ACTUALLY SHOOT ME!!?] He's said that he knows none of the crazies he sends after Vash can ever kill him. He thinks if they can't kill him, then none of the hurt Vash experiences during these fights really count. Its always a game to him. He knows Vash will be fine because he has faith in his ability to fight. (He's complimented his fighting skills several times lol.) Yet he’s consistently shocked and disgusted when he sees Vashes scars, like he didn’t play a role in that ??? He just never thought of it until it was literally staring him in the face.

HE THINKS EVERYTHINGS A DAMN GAME !!!!!

Knives never really wants to force Vash to agree with him either, he's literally waited decades for him to come around to his point. He's definitely lashed out violently before, and has disregarded his safety. But I don't think he actually even likes seeing Vash in pain 😭 (maybe a little in a Itoldyouso brother kinda way lol.) He's completely horrified when he sees his scars. This panel speaks absolute VOLUMES to me. He is angry that Vash would allow people to hurt him this much. (Bro is for sure a victim blamer 🥱 Vash OBVIOUSLY should've known humans are evil and would do this to him. 🙄 HIS FAULT !) Those scars solidify in his mind that his brother is reckless, and clearly doesn't know what's best for himself. That's why he feels the right to "save" him from humans. Knives out of anyone in the world knows how much Vash disregards his own life. He's angry that his own brother would choose the perceived violence of humanity instead of the safety he has worked SO hard to cultivate for over a hundred years. After everything they learned from their childhoods, Vash would have to be deaf and dumb to keep crawling back to them. (From his perspective anyway.)

Everything Knives does he thinks is to better Vashes life. That's what makes him such a tragic character to me. He genuinely believes he's in the right and doing everything he has to so him and his brother can feel that safety that was never guaranteed to them in childhood. He loves Vash, (PLATONICALLY !!!! 😰) He wants Vash to be happy. He just doesn't understand why, that despite everything, living alongside the humans is what makes him happy. Something he only accepts at the end of trimax when he literally trees himself to assumed death so Vash could have that. Knives is unambiguously in the wrong, but I do think his thought processes are sympathetic. WRONG. But like .I get it girl. Besides, he acts more like a toxic mother than anything. How DARE you be so ungrateful after everything I've ever done for you that you've never even asked for. ✋😒 and EXPLICITLY told me not to do. Ugh. 🙄 you don't even love me…guess im just a terrible brother than huh…🥀 BITCH SHUT UP !!!!

Now about the asexuality, not only...do I think Knives is aroace. I think he's completely sex REPULSED!!!!! Sex is a mark of human degeneracy, animals clinging for power over each other. Hed think hes above it !! It would disgust him, I don't think he's ever had a sexual thought in his life. He’s also a Jesus freak he'd think procreation in general is a sin 🙄‼️ik his interpretation of the bibles gotta be INSANE. Exploring sensuality is like a normal and healthy thing to do no fucking WAY Knives is self aware enough to do all that. If he could experience any kind of libido, his hatred of humans would never allow him to explore it anyway. Since sex is such a huge part of human culture. He probably thinks consensual sex is a myth humans made up to assault each other easier…😭

this is literally him bro I can't see him any other way...🚬 He's literally a pearl clutching mom who refuses to understand anyone else's experiences because he doesn't understand them.

I can't imagine him being able to feel romantic love either...I actually think it would be pretty out of character ngl. Plus I think it could be an interesting element of why he feels so disconnected from humanity in general. It would be part of why he feels the need to define himself as alien. Knives would rather die than admit this, (and he did) but all he's ever wanted was understanding. The same way Vash does. Knives doesn't understand sexuality/romance, or deep empathy, or most social confinements at all. That's clear by his inappropriate emotional reactions and lack of a filter. He can't feel emotions the same way Vash or Rem can. It makes it very difficult for him to relate to and connect with others. Especially Rem. He feels too wrong, too broken, too alien. But he's convinced himself that this is actually a superiority. So he can sleep at night. But he's far more human than he'll ever be willing to accept. The familial love he feels for Vash is the only thing that makes him feel normal. And it's why he clings to it so desperately. I think that feeling being explicitly familial makes the most sense for the story.

(cut for explicit talk of SA/CSA)

Im never one to dismiss bad actions from a fictional character. If I thought Knives was a sexual abuser, id say it. I even considered it before I watched/read Trigun and kept it in mind the whole time because of how prevalent of a take it is. If anything, I feel like theres more evidence for metaphorical depictions of Knives BEING sexually abused than being the sexual abuser. I mean his literal whole thing is how plants bodies are used and abused against their will. Solely for the humans gain. While it's slowly and painfully killing them. And how afraid he is that they'll do it to him too....😭 He would be absolutely HORRIFIED by SA. I just don't think it's an abuse he'd perpetuate. It goes against literally everything he stands for. I get he’s a hypocrite and all but I could just never see Knives of all people doing anything sexually ever. ESPECIALLY for his own pleasure.

Both Vash and Knives read to me as CSA victims. This would need to be a separate post all together because there is entirely just too much to say. But I feel very strongly about this interpretation and it's why I'm so firm on this. Sexual abuse is a huge theme in trigun OBVIOUSLY!! And Vash and Knives can easily represent different ways people cope with trauma like that. Knives gets angry, and bitter, and lashes out. While Vash shuts himself off, and tries to run away from it all. Two extremes from two brothers. Two sides of the same coin and all that. They've been victimized, I think it's the main reason why Knives would be so angry and distrustful of humans. Now I know Steve was kind of a throw away character from the anime- but I believe long term interpersonal abuse from a human early in life would explain a lot of the deep rooted hatred Knives has for humanity. Along with his hatred for Rem if she failed to protect them, and his deep sense of entitlement to protect Vash if Vash couldn't protect himself. (Tesla was the last straw for Knives bc at least for a while he thought he could trust Conrad till all that happened and he realized the only person he could ever trust was Vash, and that fear never really left him even 100+ years after.) (My interpretation of Conrads role is also a different post gerrrrr TOO MUCH TO SAY.)

Knives' ideology has always been inconsistent, I can easily see him disregarding autonomy in some ways but refusing to in others and never making a mental connection between the two. Plus Knives would think Vashes scars are shameful and disgusting. He probably cant even make himself look at him let alone touch him be so fr. Knives' definitely has an unhealthily attachment to Vash but not in a sexy sex or ROMANCE way 🤦‍♂️ ITS JUST HIS BPD YA’LL 😝‼️#favoriteperson #extremefearofabandonment #vashkeepsleavinghim (also another separate insane essay post) there is no argument here that Knives isn’t extremely bad at emotional regulation. Familial/platonic dynamics like that happen literally all the time it’s just not evidence of anything to me. I can't even see Knives directly punching someone let alone be capable of sexual violence against his own BROTHER ? I'd argue he's far more verbally/emotionally abusive than he ever is physically anyway. He doesn't even kill directly, it's always either done without a second thought by his powers, indirectly by starving the population out, or by making other people do it for him. He doesn't seem to actually enjoy seeing people in pain, more the satisfaction of a job well done. I don't see why this wouldn't apply to Vash too? He doesn't even usually initiate their physical fights. Vash does. (He has every right to, for the record. Knives just doesn't comprehend why Vash would be mad so he always tries to talk like everything is normal. Lol.) And when they are fighting he always puts his hand on his face ?? More annoying than a direct indication of violence. He could just punch him or something but he doesn't? Like violence in Trigun isn't a thing known to happen. Idk I think that's interesting and worth exploring a bit yk ???

Obviously he chopped his arm off I'm not saying he's innocent there either, just that he's more likely to be emotionally manipulative than explicitly interpersonally violent LOOLL. He didn't chop off his brothers arm because he enjoyed it, to him that pain is neutral. It was just a super casual reminder. But SEXUAL violence is completely different, sure it'll leave scars but you can heal from physical pain all day and night I mean commooon it barely even COUNTS as real pain. (Because he rarely has to experience it.) (A certain someone's got a major empathy problem.) And if it kills you it doesn't matter cuz you're already dead 😝!! But SA is different. It's his worst fear and greatest agony. It's something he knows sticks with you your whole life, he doesn't think that's a wound capable of being healed. (So he never tries and chooses to live in constant fear and anger instead.) That's how I see it anyway...🤕 Again it's not like he's a reasonable guy he is known to be a bit unstable idk if u knew...

Actually if anything, I think Vash would be the more interpersonally violent of the two. (Vashes abuse is always reactionary tho he would never act like that if Knives would just be normal lol he is not the aggressor here.) I can't see Knives punching Vash but I could VERY easily see Vash punching Knives ykwim ??? (For trimax anyway, ik kid Knives beats the shit out of him in 98 which I DO think is funny. But I don't accept into my personal canon okay LISTEN we are talking about a lot of conflicting characterizations here. JUST HEAR ME OUT. ✋) Knives never even really blames Vash for BLOWING HIS LEGS OFF in July too, which I always thought was so interesting. It makes me think this is actually a common thing for them to the point that they don't even argue about it outside of "are you actually aiming at me again 🙄?" Which is more bitchy than angry. Like ugh I can't believe you. Typical, typical Vash. 🥱 He'd probably use it as a way of proving to him that they are the same. And despite denying it, Vash would actually agree and feel a deep sense of shame abt it. He's had 150 years of pent up anger after all. He almost killed him with a rock once lol. I'm tired of everyone woobifying Vash as some kind of perpetual uwu victim. Vash is fucking mean sometimes. He is just as capable of violence as Knives is. The same way Knives is just as capable of great kindness. It is known that Vash is in fact physically STRONGER than Knives. (With his plant powers and id assume in general because Vash actually goes outside while Knives reads in his garden all day.) I truly believe that the only reason Knives ever wins the sibling fights is because of Vashes constant hesitance. He's not a battered wife stereotype. All Vash wants is control over his own life, the last thing he'd want to see himself as is a helpless victim. It's why he always pretends nothing is ever wrong with him. It's why he doesn't accept help, and values other people's problems far above his own. His kindness was always an active choice and that's why he's such a powerful character. And Knives would bring out the absolute worst in him LOOL all that work he's done to better himself is instantly thrown out the window the second Knives' very punchable face walks in the room.

He was fighting absolute demons not to run over and beat tf out of Knives in this panel

This is why I feel so disgusted by stampede and the way they handled their relationship. They've dumbed down these characters to the point that they are unrecognizable. Literally every aspect of stampedes portrayal of them feels like a first conclusion based on a synopsis of their goals and personalities. I get there's only one season but that's a LOT to fuck up in one season bro. 😭. There is absolutely no salvaging Nai as a character for me. I'd cover my drink around that guy I find him genuinely repulsive. At least with trimax, you can read around an initial sussy reading if you wanted. How anyone defends Nai, I don't even know. That whole plant insemination thing is pretty on the nose y'all. Literally doesn't even make sense for him to do that like? Why would he want more independent plants??? It's like they tried to make Knives' motivations make sense when the whole point should be that they don't. He's fighting ghosts out of fear. Stampede wasn't even good enough to justify its own existence by how it looks. Adding peculiar plant pregnancy preggo fetish incest bait is just the turd on the turd cake. They ruined the most compelling part of the story for me. Pfft.... But whatever...🚬 not like I care ....🚬

Not to mention Legato y'all don't even get me started. The guy that HATES humans more than anything in the world taking in a HUMAN -SEX TRAFFICKING VICTIM. The one time he's ever taken pity on a human being and it was someone who was the victim of a violent sex crime. Yeah guys that dude. Total raper. Defo a brother diddler. What the fuck are we talking about right now y'all. I genuinely feel like sexual violence would be the last thing knives would ever do ever. I understand that there are sus scenes in the manga that could be interpreted this way, but considering the many themes in Trigun and his place in the story as a whole, I think it is such a misrepresentation. And it frustrates me to see it as one of the only things talked about in regards of his character. If I could, I'd rewrite every scene in the world so people could understand what I see, but I can't. And I know I can't control how other people see the media I like. Trigun is extremely interpretive, and I understand why this is a common conclusion. But I guess I just can't shake the feeling that it's more complicated than that. I have criticisms with trimax and ESPECIALLY 98. And there's obvi a lot id change to fit what I'd find most interesting. (Also why every headcanon revolves around Knives somehow teehee) BUUUUUT I do think all of my analysis is pretty based in canon. I can't stress how insane I am about this and how much I've thought about it 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕. Believe me, I've considered every obstacle. And I've stayed consistent.

Knives is a raper feels like the easy answer to me. To be completely blunt, it's just not as compelling. Vash and Knives would both have very complicated relationships with their bodies and sensualities and gender and their relation to their plantself and their humanself and blah blah blah whatever. I'd much rather explore that as a separate result of the same abuse than default to supercestsimulator69. Knives is already an abuser. Making him a sexual aggressor too doesn't really add anything to the story besides diminish and dumb down his very complex motivations. Vash and Knives should be very good friends who know each other better than anyone. (They are trauma bonded like CRAAAZZY, very codependent like y'all get it.) I think that would make their conflict SO much more interesting. While providing some great context to why Vash is so willing to give every horrible person he meets a second chance at life. If I saw my brother, who I love, and is my best friend in the whole wide world, slowly deteriorate under the pressure of the abuse we we're BOTH experiencing; go fucking crazy and kill everyone. And I KNEWW. He genuinely believed he was doing what he had to do to protect the both of us...I'd probably also give everyone the benefit of the doubt idk. Vash understanding Knives' motivations but still holding on to that (justified) resentment and anger is ESSENTIAAAL to their dynamic and also literally all of Trigun. Sexual abuse throws a rock in all of this. If anything I think Knives would tell Vash "I'm the only one who WOULDN'T assault you. They're human, they'll only see you for how useful you are. It's what they do. It's what you know they do. You're choosing them over me the same way Rem chose Steve over us." Knives' abuse is complicated and multifaceted, not just some gross display of power. He's not even the most power hungry character in the world. He's got a whole cult dedicated to him that he canonically IGNORES.

And he sure as shit doesn't respect people who are desperate for power over others!! He'd think he's above that too. Just more evidence of human deviance. (Like the scene in 98 where kid Vash and Knives are watching the humans fight over water. Animals who think one is more deserving of resources than the other.) He's narcissistic in the literal diagnosable sense but definitely not some kinda megalomaniac. I think that's a huge mischaracterization. He doesn't want to rule the world, he wants to destroy it. And he wants Vash to be his equal in this, he respects Vash. (as far as someone like Knives can respect anybody at all) He doesn't understand why Vash would choose to be so "dumb" because he's never allowed himself to feel the vulnerability of potential harm that Vash wants him to understand is worth it. It's why he locks himself away from the world, he's afraid of being victimized again. Knives' morals are all over the place, he genuinely doesn't think murder is bad but would consider sexual violence to be the worst thing anyone could ever do EVER. It's not like we're talking about the beacon of reason and consistency here y'all, Knives is cray cray sauce.

Anyway that's my thoughts, sorry this took forever to answer. 😿 And ended up being SOOO long.. I've on and off mauled over this writing and rewriting again trying to make any of my garbled thoughts make any sense. Hope it resonates with anybody at least bc I genuinely feel like I've been taking crazy pills lately LOOL. Take care of yourselves everyone. 💖 Never an easy subject to talk about.

#tw sa mention #theres more to say with knives and the plants too but thats an entirely different essay post LOLL #thank you again for the ask I was itching for some kind of excuse to get my thoughts together like this ��🙏#my based takes #asks #vash the stampede #millions knives #trigun #ive been putting off posting anything else to force myself to finish this...sorray yaaalll.....hope it was werth it thoo....#do NOT let him talk about trigun yall. 😂 !! you'll never hear the end !!!!#trigun maximum

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mirrored-movements · 2 years ago

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Spider-Sitters

(Miguel O'hara x reader)

Synopsis: Peter needs a babysitter for the evening and who better to ask than you and Miguel?

Warnings: Idk baby fever maybe, this is kinda cute, got my heart melt a little

Sitting on one of the brightly illuminated chairs you spun in place absentmindedly, nothing particular in mind as you'd only really been there to keep Miguel company. The man having been working all day without taking any sort of break- despite you bothering him about taking at least one.

‘This can't wait it has to be done as soon as possible’ was always the answer- something you and Lyla both agreed was a bit much but what could you do besides just sit there and hope your presence someone eased the man’s nerves.

“Incoming Spider-Personel.” Lyla’s voice came and went quickly as the platform began it’s slow dramatic descent, the platform barely nearing the floor when a small figure had fallen from the ceiling- your spider sense quickly kicking in as you’d shot a web catching the small redhead; your lips curling into a smile right away.

“May May! Hi sweetie! How are you?” Cooing your words at the small child she giggled in response, her small hands making grabby hands towards where Miguel stood, drawing out a laugh from you. “No no honey Miguel’s a little busy.”

Another person had joined the platform soon after Mayday had, Peter's apologetic face coming quickly into view as he began talking to you as opposed to your clearly annoyed partner. “Sorry for dropping by so unexpectedly but I have a favour to ask.”

Propping Mayday onto your hip you motioned for the man to continue, his next set of words enticing a huff in annoyance from Miguel.

“Well, I was wondering if you could watch Mayday for the evening, wife and I wanted to have a sort of date night and you know finding a babysitter for a baby that can crawl on walls- uh that might but be easy.”

Right away understanding what he was asking your lips curled into a warm smile, “Oh yeah that’s not a problem, Miguel and I have no problem taking care of this little spiderling.” Cooing a little once again towards the girl you pinched her nose softly, a quick side eye following suit as you’d taken note of how Miguel had turned to stare.

The man surely wanting to object, but choosing to bite his tongue instead.

You were a stubborn one.

“Really? Aw thanks a mil, I’ll be sure to repay you guys when we get back.” Moving to squish his daughter's face into his hands and press a quick kiss to her forehead Peter gave you a look of gratitude, his fatherlike stare coming down to rest back onto his daughter. “Uh ok her bedtime is six o’clock, she doesn’t like broccoli and her favorite show is the bouncing fruits on youtube. If there are any issues don’t hesitate to text me.”

“Yes yes of course, now go enjoy your time with your wife.” Using your free hand you shooed the man away, shaking your head with a soft smile only to roll your eyes at the sound of a huff beside you. Your attention now fully on Miguel waiting to hear what he had to say.

“Miguel and I have no problem? I didn’t agree to babysit.” Repeating what you’d said to Peter he let out a breath, hand raising to run through his hair while his gaze pulled away from the computer screens to focus on where you stood.

The sharpness of them softening a little at the sight of Mayday's bright smile as well as the way you held the girl.

“Come on Miguel, it’ll just be this once.” Shifting Mayday into your hands you held her out towards the man bringing her back so that her face was right beside your own. “And how can you say no to these faces?”

Taking in a breath he observed the way you puffed out your cheeks, lips pursing out a bit all the while Mayday outstretched her arms- trying to grab at him.

“Fine. Lyla, save the progress and close up the computers.”

“Roger that boss.”

Waiting for the screens to close down Miguel let out yet another sigh, hand motioning towards you and Mayday. “Come on.”

Following right away a victorious smile couldn’t help but cross your lips, something the small girl right away took note of by patting your cheek with her little palm.

She was so cute.

---

Having brought Mayday back to yours and Miguel's shared apartment you right away brought out some drawing supplies- or well more like a few highlighters and pens that the small girl seemed entertained enough with.

Standing over the kitchen sink to wash a few of the dishes you’d used to give Mayday a snack, your gaze moved toward Miguel. The man having been leaning against the counter on the opposite side of where you were, head tilted to the side and attention focused on the small redhead.

“Go and sit down with her.”

At the soft call of your voice, his head turned in order to face you, the hardened expression he typically wore cracking the slightest bit. “What?”

“Go sit down with her and draw or play a game, something like that.”

Wanting to object right away at what you were implying the look you’d given him merely drew out a defeated sigh, his arms falling from the counter and with heavy steps, he neared the table planting himself into the seat across from hers.

After a minute or two of sitting with her, you noticed how he spoke to the child; soft and almost playful, a pencil had been clasped between his fingers as the redhead had convinced him to draw her a cat.

It warmed your heart to see Miguel like this, you two had been together for quite some time now but you knew how much he hesitated about being around Peter's daughter- that much was clear from day one. Although despite that hesitance he never seemed to let her fall, let her hurt herself, etcetera.

It was most certainly the paternal instinct he had tried to suppress.

You found it endearing.

Getting pulled out of your thoughts by a gentle tug at your pant leg you turned off the sink, eyes trailing down towards the little girl who called for your attention.

Smiling gently down at her you noted how her hands were smudged with pencil lead, a soft laugh leaving you as you leaned down to pick her up. “Your hands are all dirty.” Musing that out you turned the water back of softly pulling her hands into the stream where you then gently washed her hands.

Coming back from the table himself Miguel watched what you were doing, a soft smile gracing his lips as he held his own hands up. “My hands are dirty, can you wash them too?” He laughed at the comment, some more following as you’d taken Mayday's hand using it to splash some water at him.

Mayday giggled at this, the little girl practically bouncing in place within your hold.

So cute.

---

“You suck at braiding hair.”

An offended gasp left your lips at Miguel's comment, hear tilting over the couch to face where he leaned over the back of it, hand under his chin and a slight quirk to his lips.

“You’re so mean, why don’t you do her hair then? Huh?” Having Mayday currently sitting in front of you, you gestured with the hairbrush toward the girl's unruly red locks. Her childish giggles filled the room quickly upon being raised into the air being handed towards your partner as he rounded the couch.

“Fine, I will,” Taking her from your hands he sat down much like you had, lips still curled into a small smile as he spoke confidently. “Watch and learn Hermosa.”

Rolling your eyes at the comment you took his previous place leaning over the couch, eyes watching the way he occasionally brushed Mayday's hair back parting it into two sections. It seemed almost routinely how he worked so effortlessly with her hair, making sure he kept her small hands busy with a scrunchie.

Two neat French braids curled down the girl's head, some small hair clips you’d found around the apartment dotting her hair as well.

“See? What did I tell you.” Leaning back against the couch Miguel stared up at you, his gaze was warm, lips still curled into a gentle smile upon seeing how you reflected the look.

“Fine fine. You did a good job, Miguel,” Leaning forward a little you have the tip of his nose a quick peck seeing as that was all you could reach. “Maybe I should get you to do my hair one of these days.”

He smiled triumphantly at that, head returning down to the girl sitting before him, hands coming to lift her off the ground and into the air almost playfully.

Watching from your spot between the kitchen and living room you laughed softly, eyes shining with pure adoration as this was a side of Miguel many- even yourself sometimes- didn’t get the opportunity to see.

A tingle in the back of your mind had you gradually moving towards the front door, hand reaching for the handle to swing it open just enough to stop Peter’s hand from knocking.

Holding up a finger for him to remain quiet you brought him into the apartment, the two left in the living room still goofing off until Mayday’s gaze fell upon her dad. The girl squawking out in excitement as Miguel set her down onto the floor.

“There’s my girl! Did you have fun! Looks like you did, looks like you did! Aw look at your hair too.” Right away beginning to coo at her Peter swiped her off the ground, kissing were peppered across her face in an instant before his attention returned towards the two of you. “Thank you guys so much for watching her, I really owe you one.”

Having moved to stand beside Miguel you smiled happily at Peter, “It was no problem, she was such a delight and if you ever need someone to watch her again I’m sure we have no problem.” Your hand moved to take Miguels, the man responding with a gentle hum and nod.

Sparing Mayday a final wave you watched the pair leave, your hand faintly tugging away from Miguels before he’d just come to wrap you in a hug; arms bunding around your waist while his chin came to rest on your shoulder.

“Gonna miss the little spider-girl?” Questioning him softly you tilted your head to rest it light on his, hand coming up to comb your fingers through his hair.

With a low hum he seemed to nuzzle into you a little, eyes glancing to the side at your expression. “Maybe,” He began swaying a little, fingers rubbing circles into the shirt you wore, “But this got me thinking.”

“Ok, thinking about what?”

“Well,” Pulling away a little to properly look down at you he seemed to think over what he was going to say, mind going a mile a minute. “What if, we maybe…” His eyes moved towards the door where Peter and Mayday had left through, the rest of his question being implied.

Staring up at him your lips curved into a smile once again, hopping up onto your tiptoes to peck him on the lips quickly.

“We can try.”

-------

Miguels a DILF- you can't change my mind.

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sea-salted-wolverine · 5 months ago

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No one should ever go to Kasilof. It is a terrible place with terrible weather and overflowing porta potties and overstuffed dumpsters with child snatching and dogfighting and some crazy guy swinging a sword that got shot by the cops. Awful stuff really. Best avoided. Just not worth the bother.

That was the gist of the news stories leading up to the kasilof sockeye runs this year it was no issue at all to find a camping spot and it wasn't nearly as crowded so I totally agree with the mainstream media on this one. It's a den of vice and iniquity. Stay away. The rent lowering gunshots clipped a reporter.

So this year we went down with a largish caravan of 4 family's worth of people and junk and a limit of 170 fish to catch. We're soo good at planning and logistics that this went off with no hitch and no arguments (lying). Since we also had a very pregnant lady and excited 2 year old who would not be fishing but were still counted towards the limit we planned on being there for a while, at least 3 days if not more. We also had the damn dog.

So at least I was planning on a few days of chill fishing and a long slog. My brother in law left an hour or so early with his girlfriend and had one job, to find us a good spot to descend upon and set up our camp. They did not do this. One job. The fishing was hot so they didn't even really bother to park, we pulled up on his truck kinda packed off to the side of the road and he was down in the water with a pile of fish on the beach because he didn't even have a cooler ready.

So by the time we bitched him out, found a campsite, set up camp and squared everything away, it was approaching midnight. This is normal, you fish the tides as they come and its not like it gets dark so wandering the beach all night long is expected so long as you're considerate of those trying to sleep.

But then.

My Sunshineman brought his boat. I knew he brought his boat, I was in fact the one arguing that he needed to do things like park and set up camp rather than do exactly what his brother did and throw himself into the river as soon as he saw fish coming in, while neglecting those little things like, food and sleep. But since we were done setting up, he wanted to go fishing from his boat. At midnight.

I had been up early that morning to do terrible things in the bilge of a different, much larger boat that resulted in fun colored bruises on my ribs and sore shoulders, so I wasn't particularly feeling the vibe on this one. I helped launch the boat and then bowed out to go pass out in a pile of blankies in the sand.

In the time it took two set up camp and launch the boat Adak, the dog, managed to get into a fight and have his face ripped up. He is huge and he is stupid but he doesn't take shit but he was on leash while the other dog was running loose, so the impulse was to pull him back, if he had been left to his own we probably would have gotten away with out anyone getting bit.

He's fine and chicks dig scars but its indicative that I had no idea this happened 25 yards away from me until adak came up to me and smeared his face all over my pants. My pants already had engine grease, bilge slime, grass stains, fish guts, coffee, mud, sand and a few baby boogers on them so what's a little dog blood too?

So yea, not my circus, not my monkeys, in tent, pants off, pjs on, cozy bitch in the blankies, out like a light, nothing better than sleeping on the beach.

Except for the fact that your husband wakes you up at 2 AM asking for help.

I'm convinced he kept it vague on purpose.

I'm up. I'm out of the tent. I'm still in my pj's. I have my drysuit on over top. My waders have a hole in them. It is, I cannot stress this enough, 2 AM.

The boat is a 16 foot mil surplus zodiac with a 40 horse Johnson, if you care about that sort of thing. It gets nice comments from people who do care. We usually run one person to drive, 2 to work the nets, and one optional person to handle fish as they come in. Sunshine went out with our 2 friends who AFAIK crawled off the boat and directly into bed after 2 solid hours of midnight deathmatch fishing, because I watched them stumble out of the boat and didn't see them again until breakfast. The boat was entirely full of fish. THEY CAUGHT 49 FISH IN LESS THAN 2 HOURS. Kasilof reds are usually smaller than Kenai reds but there must have been a secondary run because half were the average 6 or 7 pound fish and the rest were something like 10 lbs each.

At some point sunshine must have woken up his brother because he materialized from somewhere and we got the fish out of the boat into a cooler so we could drag them up to clean them. Then came the thing that we're all still more than a smidge irritated about. Sunshine went back out in the boat, by himself, to go get more fish while BIL and I cleaned the ones he had just brought back. We couldn't even yell at him because a good chunk of the beach was asleep.

So at about 4 am the sky has decided to shift from twilight to morning and I am sitting on a cooler of gutted fish in a superbly uncomfortable drysuit having a moment of perfect communication with the bald eagle sitting on the light pole at the end of the dock. We would both enjoy breakfast, preferably of fish. But it is four fucking am in the morning. And we should both be alseep. Breakfast is not a meal best enjoyed at 4 am. A nap sounds best.

Sunshine comes back with 3 more fish. I honestly do not remember what happened to those fish. Either I gutted them or he gutted them or maybe they got raptured into fishy heaven, (which looks suspiciously like the inside of a cooler) I legitimately do not know, because I think my REM cycle was starting up again.

I get a hand to haul the cooler back to camp. I peel out of the dry suit and was asleep back in my cozy sleeping bag blanket pile before Sunshine even made it to the tent.

At something like, idk, 6am, someone started splitting wood. loudly. I was awake enough to identify that it was near, and probably not a problem and I distinctly remember making the semi conscious decision to sleep through it. At about this point my phone died and for the rest of this trip I had no idea what time it was. I intended to take pictures and document things and whatnot and that just did not happen. The phone stayed dead and my hands stayed busy.

I woke up last, presumably because the demon that compels my mother-in-law to get up at 5 AM every morning had already woken everyone up with the wood splitting. She was toasting breakfast burritos, and it wasn't as if I had slept through the whole morning because I wasn't even the last to get a burrito.

My FIL made a joke that at least one of us got a full 8 hours and BIL earned back all his brownie points by jumping in to defend me unprompted. She was indeed up at ungodly hours playing with knives and dead fish. How dare you impune her honor simply because she looks so dewy fresh after sleeping in the dirt?

I did at least get the chance to put a net in the water from the beach but we were limited out by 1pm. That's enough fish fast enough that we were dumping out food and drinks coolers because we planned on freeing up space as we went. So I had our camp that we had intended to stay in for as long as a week broken down and hundreds of pounds of fish gutted and iced in a few hours. While drinking, because we had several days worth of food and drinks and beers that had been displaced by fish. The solstice vodka lemonade from matanuska brewing is great btw.

We had planned to overlap the end of our trip with the beginning of my mom and sister coming down so we could fish together, so I called mom as were were leaving the beach. From Sunshineman's phone of course, mine being dead at the bottom of a bag somewhere. As the current time was something like 16 hours from when we arrived, she assumed I forgot something or was just calling to tell her about the nice weather, or terrible weather, or confirming the news report's porta potty horror story. She didn't expect us to pull in a years worth of food in a single tide cycle.

So we get home without incident, and get to cleaning and fileting and packing and labeling at, some, late, evening time, maybe? I'm time blind on a good day and if I had a watch it would be covered in fish slime.

So yeah, this year's fish camp was condensed into a single solid slug of dense firey whatthefuckFISHfishFISHcleanpackgutgohome. Niece creature didn't want to change our of pj's so she wore the same outfit for her entire trip which is spectacular from a laundry standpoint because a toddler given free reign to a muddy fishy beach goes about as well as expected. She had a ball and then napped through almost the entire cleaning and packing process when we got home, which is what I wanted to do but instead I fileted triple digits worth of fish.

Mom went down later for the weekend and she got rained on for 3 days and caught 7 fish and a flounder. We caught the hot run and came home with fish but at what cost?

#wolverine warbles #from the far north #Fish camp #Salmon #Fishing #Dipnetting #2024 #Sockeye #Alaska

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xanadontit · 6 months ago

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Dear Care and Feeding.

My husband and I have a delightful, inquisitive 4-year-old daughter, “Bree,” who has a nut allergy. We have been able to manage this fairly well, but the problem is my in-laws. They were careless about nuts to the point that we had to stop coming over to their place. My father-in-law keeps a bowl of peanuts or trail mix on the end table next to the couch, and never remembered to remove them before we arrived for a visit. Even worse, my mother-in-law believes Bree’s allergy is something she will outgrow over time and even thinks she can be “cured” if she is exposed to nuts in small doses, because she read about people overcoming allergies through exposure therapy on the internet. After Bree nearly ate some peanut butter M&M’s my FIL forgot to put away on our last visit to my in-laws’ place I put my foot down. I said until they were willing to take my daughter’s safety more seriously, we would not be coming over to their house. My husband grumbled that he thought I was overreacting, but went along with it. My in-laws were very chilly for a couple of weeks, but eventually agreed to the new arrangement.

I thought we had resolved the problem, but I was wrong. When my in-laws visited our home last month, I left Bree watching TV with her grandmother while I went to check the mail. I came back to find my MIL in a panic, my FIL on the phone with 911, and Bree on the floor nearly purple and gasping …

I realized she was having an allergic reaction and immediately gave her a shot with the EpiPen I carry with me at all times. Within several heart-stopping minutes Bree was breathing better. The EMTs came and took her to the hospital in an ambulance while we followed behind.

While we were waiting for the doctors to update us at the hospital, my MIL told me she had given Bree a small piece of a Snickers bar. She said she thought Bree could overcome her nut allergy if she ate a little each day. My husband had to practically hold me back. I shouted at her that she had nearly killed my daughter and as far as I was concerned, we were done with both her and my FIL. My MIL huffed that she was only trying to make it so Bree could have a normal life and stalked out of the hospital with her husband on her heels.

It’s been over a month now, and my husband has been trying to facilitate a reconciliation between us. He acknowledges that what his mother did was wrong and dangerous, but still tries to defend her by saying “that’s how she is,” and pointing out that she never intended to harm Bree. I have told him that I will never be able to trust his parents around our daughter again. His mother hasn’t even so much as apologized. He thinks I am being too harsh and am taking this too far. Please tell me I’m not.

—Am I Nuts?

Dear Nuts,

No, you are neither being too harsh nor taking this too far. You made it abundantly clear to your in-laws what the rules were regarding your daughter and her allergies. Because they read too much online baloney and like to imagine they know better than anyone else, they broke them on purpose, put her life at risk, and don’t even seem to feel that bad about it. They suck! You are right and he is wrong. I hope this makes you feel better.

But it does you no good to feel better now and still have your husband claiming you’re overreacting, even in the aftermath of your child nearly dropping dead. It does you no good to be the lone voice in the wilderness. You need him on your side.

It’s possible that he finds your daughter’s nut allergy so frightening—and it is frightening!—that he’s desperate to grasp at any straw that suggests she might “get over it.” Combine that with an unwillingness to confront his parents, and you might have a dad who’s feeling just torn enough not to know how to handle this mess. Sit down with your husband and explain exactly how you feel about what his parents did, and how you feel about how he is not supporting you—or, honestly, even protecting his own daughter. Feel free to wave a printout of this advice column to help make your case.

Maybe, down the line, you’ll decide together to reintroduce his parents into their granddaughter’s life. (I know it feels like you never will want to, but there are such wonderful rewards for a child in having a relationship with even totally objectionable grandparents.) If so, there will be conditions, and whatever those conditions are, he’d better be on board for conveying them, in no uncertain terms, to his amateur-immunologist parents—and making clear to them that there will be no divergence from those rules.

******************

I'm sorry but what the FUCK is Dan Kois' problem? The dad/husband fucking sucks which tracks because he comes from fucking sucky stock and I'm failing to understand what "wonderful rewards" await this poor child from "having a relationship with even totally objectionable grandparents" unless he means "heavenly rewards" because they seem intent on killing their granddaughter.

Can you imagine being this kid?

"Hey, Mom, why did you let Grandma and Grandpa around me? They were constantly feeding me peanuts and I ended up in the hospital every Christmas."

"Oh, a complete moron advice columnist said it would be good for you. Somehow. Hey, you were great at calling 911 and not all kids can say that!"

ETA: And what's with all the sympathizing with the dad because he's just so sad his kid has an allergy and doesn't know what to do?! You don't let the kid eat peanuts/peanut products and you keep the kid away from people who purposely do that. He doesn't need to get an MD and cure food allergies for all of mankind. Christ.

Would love to hear @sequinedably's thoughts on this one.

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effervescentbee · 1 year ago

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I have the useless talent of being able to listen to any song and immediately make a story out of it for whatever my current interest is. This means I'm constantly overflowing with ideas and almost all of them make no sense and aren't even good but I can't get them out of my head, so i recently (like 2 minutes ago) decided it would be a good idea to share my ideas

This one is based on 18 by anarbor

Basically they're regular people and miles, who turned 18 like 2-3 months ago, got into a huge fight with his parents that ended in him storming out and taking his dad's police car because he can. He goes to Hobie, who is 19 and has his own place, and he starts telling him about everything that happened with him and his parents.

Hobie might make a joke saying miles should move in with him and this whole bit happens about them jokingly making plans to move in together. Halfway through it miles will say something along the line of "my parents would be pissed if I did move in with you specifically, I think the only thing they would hate more is if we were dating"

Miles then takes a second to think and actually asks Hobie to be his boyfriend, he's 100% genuine and hes liked Hobie pretty much since they met. Hobie, who hasn't fallen for miles yet, agrees to date miles but doesn't take it seriously. He thinks of it as being miles rebellious phase and doesn't think miles actually likes him, the only reason he agrees is because he thinks if he doesn't say yes miles will go find some other person his parents would disapprove of to date, that and he doesn't mind 'dating' miles for a bit just to see him rebel against his parents.

Now miles is over the moon thinking Hobie likes him back and acts like a boyfriend does, taking him on dates, buying him gifts, being more affectionate and so on. Hobie enjoys it, he doesn't quite get why miles would go out of his way to act like a couple all the time but he plays along because he likes spending time with miles and getting free food and gifts.

Soon Hobie finds himself looking forward to their dates, of course he was always happy to spend time with miles, but now it's become the only thing he can think about once they decide on having the date. He finds himself treasuring every gift he receives from miles and feels all giddy when he sees one of the gifts laying around his home. He finds himself loving that he gets more attention and affection from miles than anyone else in their friend group does. Hobie finds he is falling in love with miles.

Hobie let's himself fall, coincidentally forgetting he thinks their whole relationship is miles rebelling from his parents. Until he remembers when they're on a date and some random person asks how they got together.

Hobie obviously is really sad about it. Here he is thinking of miles like his real boyfriend but miles doesn't think of him that way (that he knows of anyways)

Hobie chooses not to do anything about it though. He chooses to pretend what they have is real and it's just making him more miserable as they go on dates and miles is so sweet to him but doesn't like Hobie back.

Eventually Hobie had to break up with miles for his own mental health, also the fact that miles had noticed he had been upset and Hobie felt bad about making him worry.

It could end like that, they break up for good and both are miserable. Hobie thinking miles could never like him back and being sad about every single moment with miles that meant so much to him but nothing to miles. Miles thinking Hobie didn't like him anymore and maybe never liked him that much to begin with since Miles had been the only one to initiate anything romantic for so long and just as Hobie began to initiate romantic things he began being more distant until they broke up.

They wouldn't talk anymore after the breakup up and one day Hobie is on a walk and as he's thinking about miles he ends up walking by Miles parents home. He sees Miles moving boxes to a car and quickly realizes miles is moving out. Miles notices him and they hold about 3 seconds of eye contact before Hobie looks away and begins to speed walk home. It leaves a bitter taste in their mouths as they both remember how they had planned moving in together the day they started dating.

Orr Pav, Gwen, Margo, noir, peter and everyone else whos there to see the mess that they both are after the breakup convince them to talk it out (convince doesn't necessarily mean getting them to willingly talk to each other, it could also mean they split into groups of two and each group tells one of them they're gonna hang out amd then they go to the same place to hang out by 'accident' and then they leave the two of them together to talk it out)

They start dating again, miles makes sure Hobie knows he actually likes him and Hobie makes sure to initiate romantic stuff so both of them can be sure the relationship isn't one sided

They also move in together at some point and they're so smiley and happy and it's great. They smile the whole day while they talk fondly about how they had jokingly said they would move in together and now it was really happening :))

I feel the need to add that the reason the part of miles recently turning 18 is relevant is because I imagine a part where Hobie says "barely turned 18 and you're already trying to be an adult and move out" maybe not that exactly but something along those lines when they're joking about miles moving in with them

As I was writing the end I did come up with two ideas that are basically the same thing and make the fact miles had just turned 18 relevant

They broke up a month or so before miles birthday, so for miles birthday they aren't together anymore. When they get back together miles is 19 and they have a fluffy moment of talking and saying they left 18 behind as in they've moved on and healed their relationship.

Other idea is the exact same thing except they broke up like 4-5 months before miles birthday and then got together again before miles birthday and they have a party and this time it's them and their friend group talking about leaving 18 behind

I like the 1st one cause it means they were in a relationship for a while before the angst and it leaves a lot more room for Hobie to fall in love

But at the same time I like the second one cause it includes everyone else and not just Hobie and miles

#miles molares #punkflower #hobie brown #hobie x miles

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cato616 · 2 years ago

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NEGOTIATING OVER US (part two)

roman roy x fem reader

• note! : so i know it isn't A LOT of people who has seen this but, i actually thought no one would've come across of my blog soooo i made a part two!

• also: don't forget english isn't my first language lol

summary: roman roy has now taken you to his office, of course it's still about buying your shop, but why all of the sudden decided to take you there?

warnings: nothing,, just roman being roman :) and maybe some heat ;)

You finally arrived at the grand building. If the Range Rover wasn't fancy enough for only a 10 minutes ride (actually even less), you could imagine how uneasy you felt while entering such a place like Waystar Royco; you felt pretty unfitting right there, and you think, thank god i remembered to take the fucking apron off.

You entered the big doors slowly, like if it was a new world for you, having your arms crossed against your chest, basically thinking, i know im unwelcomed here and im practically super uncomfortable with all this so im gonna make myself look intimidating. well you think that but your face is having a panic attack. You stopped moving to look around the place, so many people, i mean, you were an insecure introverted gal surrounded by so many people above your level, and that got over your head, shit... i showered today, right? without anyone notice you sniffled your hair to see if you were correct. "great! so let's keep moving" said roman from behind making you jump a bit. shit. you were hoping he didn't see you sniffing your hair like that. "yup, coming- going i- sorry... im following you" you make yourself cringe, felt caught in the moment and got tongue tied.

You step in the elevators with roman and some really jacked security guy, now that guy seems intimidating. Roman couldn't hold it and started laughing at the awkwardness of it all. You can't help but making a weird uncomfortable smirk at the situation. "you realize we don't bite here right?" said roman. im pretty sure you do, you think for yourself. "a lot of... floors" you said quietly, really impatient to get to his office. "now, we're here" roman said a few seconds later being a little cocky about it.

So you enter the floor and roman suddenly put himself in front of you stopping you from moving forward. "first I'd like for you to meet someone" and then you start moving to his direction; he opens a big glass door and let you come in. You first took a glance over the office turning to the right; then you hear a voice from the back that makes you jump again. "that's some first level jeans you got there" you turned and it was fucking logan roy sitting at his desk, that made you jump a little bit as well. "yeah well im not usually dressed for this kind of occasions, see, i only ran a café" you awkwardly laugh at yourself feeling pretty threatened by his presence. "let's talk about that" he seemed serious the whole time so your smile disappeared trying to be more in the moment, you sit down, you frown and tense your lips, and try to make eye contact, but it feels like he's looking at your soul. "your dear lovely, um... coffee shop, it's uuh cute" he smiles at you, you don't say anything because you know he's going to keep talking. "it is also a nice location you got yourself"... he pauses, damn he likes suspense you think. "right next to fucking corporate buildings... that must get a bit annoying doesn't it? so big... over your little humble shop" you silently nod agreeing, you can't fight that logic. And then he tries to get to the crucial part of the conversation. "You could get any part of the city, nice view, where a building doesn't cover all of the sunshine, you can make it bigger even..." You don't say anything, you just keep staring at him, maybe even considering what he's saying, but you don't want to. "how about... 40 mil..." he said. You have your eyes wide open, stayed completely silent. "dad, come on" roman said to logan. "fine, fine, 45 mil then".

You now have roman roy and the emperor of his father staring at you waiting for you answer, at the same time you're feeling like you're sweating under your blouse; The only thing you can think of is not only the fact that the café means a lot to you, but also, why your coffee shop? why do they want that spot or is there something else i don't know about? You haven't said anything yet, you're terrified of making a sound. "you know what? how about you get yourself a nice cup of coffee while you think about it huh?" Logan said trying to be nice?. "roman go with her somewhere around here, in the building" Logan asked roman. "great, im now the service dog of the fucking definition of anxiety here" while he points at you with the palm of his hand. I'll try not to get offended... but maybe you're not that wrong.

Roman decides to take you to his private office and have one of his assistants to bring you two some coffee. He offers you to take a seat in front of him at his desk, where he then sits. The assistant comes back with two coffees on each hand and leaves them on the desk. You rapidly take a sip and of course you drip a bit of coffee, somehow that usually happens to you; you usually get to be a bit awkward around people and somewhat clumsy, nothing wrong with it obviously but, roman can seem to take advantage of that. "fuck, don't you know how to drink coffee? you're dripping like a fucking baby" you ignore his teasing while trying to wipe the coffee out of your blouse but there's no fucking napkins around you. "here... i- i can help" roman said very decently; he stood up, and obviously takes out one of those napkins stored inside of those fancy suits; he took it out, and while you were still sitting on the chair, he stood in front of you, slowly lowering his torso, then gently starts to clean your blouse, very focused on his duty.

You realize how close your faces where to each other; you could feel his warm breath hitting your chest. He still didn't take his eyes off his mission, taking those stains off your shirt; he was frowning the whole time. You didn't want to move, it was taking a bit long, but there was something inside of you that wanted this to last forever; you start staring at him, analysing his whole face, and you could feel your breathing getting stronger. There was a moment where your heart stopped, when suddenly his eyes meets yours and for a moment there's nothing but silence between you two. You felt so much tension that made you intensly grip onto your chair. He suddenly breaks the tension and warmly says, "well, it's off" while he goes back to his chair. Before sitting down he says "well not that much actually, but it looks fine".

After that situation you can feel yourself relaxing and your heart pounding no more. So that's when you start going on about it, thinking, roman roy had let down his guard and had a little moment with each other, but none of you said anything about it, like it was nothing; however, you thought it was, fun. You liked the adrenaline of it, with him.

"so i think we can ta-" you interrupted him when you realize it was getting late, knowing you were supposed to close your café because you promised your co-worker Liza she could leave early today. "oh- shit shit sorry" he looked stunned by your sudden cut off as you look over your watch while quickly getting up from your seat. "actually i think I should come over another time, i ought to go back to my shop- tomorrow! I'll come back tomorrow, Sunday" you tell him.

You rapidly leave the room and not looking back since you were in a hurry. You find yourself unconsciously smiling while you walk to the elevator; you're looking forward for this kind of moment to happen again... and so does roman probably.

continue ✧⁠*⁠。

#roman roy #roman roy x reader #roman roy x you #roman roy fic #succession #succession fic #part two #kieran culkin

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