#so much nonsense

[crookshanks23]

Once again, Never Stop Blowing Up has left me cry-laughing at the utter ridiculousness of it all. I think Brennan has well and truly lost it. Careful, well-crafted stories? No no no no no. That's not what we're here for. We're here for 💥💥💥💥

When Ally's the sane one at the table... You know we're in for it.

[starswhogaze]

There are people dying, but yes, use all your energy to be angry about a boundary set by a part of the fandom. Couldn't just say "ok i just won't participate then." and move on? No? Had to throw tantrums and write essays about how it's unfair? No one is stopping you from making content. It just won't be shared on an event page.

Grow tf up.

[bearotonin-international]

the team, knowing full well that we will regret this late night bear posting tomorrow, and actively wanting to be done late night bear posting and instead sleeping:

[takeariskao3]

I did randomly sent a Hagrid ask once but I'm neither both nor the one anon who sent that. I was just adding to the chaos. But surely such a thing hasn't happened with dobnny. If it did it wasn't me. Who this is? You'll never know 👍

[amerasdreams]

so this is why my Ukraine posts don't get likes from a lot of you. Not just because you don't care about a war "a world away", but because you actually think we shouldn't support Ukraine and have swallowed SOME right wing narratives which, strangely, coincidentally align awfully close to the russian ones.

If you don’t support Ukraine and especially especially you're actively working against it I don't want to associate with you. You're probably too entrenched in your views anyway. (Russian propaganda seeps here, watch yourself. Learn history and world affairs and how the sorts of people who support evil are usually on the wrong side-- then come back. Bc you either support Ukraine or Russia. You can't be neutral in a war like this).

If you think only America matters, unfollow me.

If you're supposedly "Christian " but only care about people in America, we have nothing in common.

It's really too bad you don't see the truth; being extreme partisan blinds people. Their side can do no wrong lol.

And worse-- it numbs people to others' suffering.

Ukraine matters. It always will matter. They are fighting for their freedom from a brutal regime that's trying to expand. Which kills and tortures wantonly.

Educate yourself and look at what russia actually is now. Don't look at propaganda about biolabs or whatever or listen to blaring hateful programs that actually say nothing and do nothing but harm.

(And also the ignorant will yell, "you hate Russia and all Russians! You have no credibility! Um... such a sick country needs a serious revision. I don't hate russia as a general entity but I do hate the evil that is in it. And i want Russians to live in freedom unburdened by propaganda. It's actually in normal people's best interests not to go to war. I want them to live in a normal country but it will take some massive upheaval im afraid... this may be the beginning)

[thedeafprophet]

truly i bet the neath has a great department on 'adult toys', but i bet wines charges taxes on them

....'underground' sex toy trade.......

[local-hellhound-steals-spaghetti]

Jfc so many TikTok dog trainers push this idea that giving your dog attention when they ask for it, getting excited when you come home and letting your dog sleep in you bed causes separation anxiety.

It doesn’t. Research has shown that separation anxiety are caused by factors like genetics, trauma, sudden environmental changes, moving house and other usually completely out of control factors.

Your dog is a goddamn social animal. Social sleeping is natural behaviour, big excited greetings is natural behaviour and seeking social support and interaction is NATURAL BEHAVIOUR. Because you have brought a social living breathing animal into your house and you are their social group.

Withholding attention and being unpredictable or conditional about interacting with a social animal makes you kind of an asshole. Sure, you should set boundaries and your dog doesn’t have to live in your skin either, but don’t let unqualified so-called “professionals” shame you for loving your dog how you choose to love them.

Let them sleep in your bed if you want them to, revel in the joy of an excited dog greeting you when you come home, give your dog pats and cuddles when they seek you for them.

And don’t let anyone tell you that giving social support to a social animal is going to cause them anxiety. Because that is not how anxiety works at all.

(I have a Bachelor degree in Canine Science and am a Certified Professional Dog Trainer)

[morganbritton132]

Steve, in the middle of one of Eddie’s live-streams: Did you see that another billionaire went missing at sea? That’s hilarious.

Steve: You can make fun of billionaires going missing because they’re evil. It doesn’t make me a bad person.

Steve:

Steve: …You’re not a billionaire, are you?

Eddie, offended: No….Werent you though, King Steve?

Steve: Upper middle class, Eddie.

Eddie:

Steve:

Eddie: You make fun of Will going missing all the time.

Steve: Yeah, because we found him!

[ecoevoexo]

someone's been putting bad take juice in the internet's water supply again

[inbabylontheywept]

Soviet Birds.

The secret facility that I work in has holes in the ceiling. We don't know how to get them fixed.

We tried asking the government to fix it, once. We told them that the holes in the older parts of the facility had gotten large enough to fit birds through, and that birds were getting through, and that, perhaps, a Soviet Spy could fit through as well.

After all, it is well known that Soviet Spies and pigeons are approximately the same diameter.

Our hope was that that this vague and nonsensical threat would put a little fire under Uncle Sam's feet. If the fed couldn't be bothered to give a shit about the giant gaping holes in the roof of our facility, perhaps they could be persuaded to give a shit about... Soviet Spies.

This attempt at manipulation 100% blew up in our faces.

See, the government does not need to be persuaded to give a shit about Soviet Spies. It still wakes up most nights, drenched in cold sweat, terrified and confident that a Soviet Spy is hiding in their nightstand. If it sees a rock on the ground, it flips it over, pistol drawn, ready to shoot the Soviet Spy it fully expects to slither out from underneath. Which is to say: The government is crazy. So when we dropped those two words - inflitration risk - in the repair request, they came in guns-a-blazin'.

Does that mean that they fixed the roof? Of course not. Don't be stupid. No, instead of performing basic maintenance, they installed a state of the art alarm system throughout the facility - lasers, sonar, the works - and told us to always be on the guard. Because of the roof holes.

Then they left.

So now we had an extremely good alarm system... and birds. Which have combined in incredibly obvious and predictable ways to produce an unending fountain of problems.

For Example: About once a month, someone gets called in by the local airforce dispatch because AAAAAAAAAAA a Spy is in the Rad Lab! We're all gonna die! Except every time, it's a bird. And I get why we have to check, but every time, the dispatcher is panicked and the person going out has to be like listen, listen: It's a bird. It's always a bird. It's been a bird every month for the last fifteen years. It will be a bird next month. All this stress? Bad for your heart.

Second Example: Sometimes, birds get in while we're actually working. And when it's in the morning, you know, it's a nuisance, and it stops testing (we are not going to risk irradiating a bird) but it's not an all-hands-on-deck situation because it doesn't take ten hours to get a bird out. But surprisingly often, the bird gets in riiiiight at closing time, and in that situation, everyone goes feral because nobody can leave until the alarm is set, and we cannot set the alarm while the bird is there, because the bird would immediately trigger it and then we'd have to stay another 4 hours to confirm that it was not a Soviet Bird.

So in order to go home, everyone's top priority is Get That Bird. And we have a system for it.

Step 1: The test stands tend to be located in rooms with 30+ foot ceilings. We can't catch birds in places like that - so we have to lure the bird into the relatively low ceilinged (8 feet only) upper offices.

We do this by turning all the lights off in the test rooms, then putting floodlights by the exits. I don't know why this works - some kind of evolutionary brain fragment shared by both Bugs and Birds - but work it does. The birds almost always follow after the lights. From there, it’s just two guys moving the floodlight and a third guy to turn off the lights.

Step 2: Everyone else has been waiting for this step. There is this long stairway up from the basement level into the offices, and in the final stage, the floodlights are brought to the base of the stairwell to bring the bird up. At the top of the steps there will be a group of tennish people, waiting for the signal. The light guys will set up the final transfer, everyone will tense, and then, swish...a bird will flit up the stairs and into the offices.

It's like watching werewolves on a full moon. Before the bird cometh, we are engineers. Nerds. Pale and skinny things, trembling under the fluorescent lights. After the bird, we are beasts. Feral, gnawing things, glowing under the orange sunrise of the 70's halogen floodlights.

And like all beasts, we cannot help but give chase.

Step 3: The were-engineers begin the hunt. The goal at the start is not really to catch the bird - just exhaust it. So the pack simply does not relent. Because the stakes are going home on time, the group is basically given free reign to go anywhere in the building. If someone's door is open, and the bird goes inside, they're going to have to deal with ten sweaty panting maniacs leaping around their office. They don't get to say that they're busy, or remark on how all this movement is a terrible distraction. They are allowed to sit in silence during the chaos, and perhaps thank the war party for chasing the bird while they sat comfortably on their ass. This has been explained several times, and it will continue to be explained until cooperation is achieved.

Anyway.

The chase can go on for quite some time. Sometimes, the bird will get tired and find a crevice to hide in, where it can then be reached through standard cornered-bird catching techniques.

Other times, it will slow down enough that someone can actually yoink it out of the air. But this will go on until someone catches the bird and triggers Step 4.

Step 4: The Finale. This is the get-the-bird-out-of-the-building stage, and it requires someone to adopt a specific role: To Become the Sacrificial Vessel of Bird Removal.

This job is both coveted and feared. It's coveted, because holding a wild bird in one's hands is a precious thing. To feel how small, and fragile, and scared it is, only to free it from the building? That is what it's like to be a benevolent God. But the cost! Oh, the cost. The entire time the Vessel is in motion, the bird will be biting the hell out of their fingers. And I cannot emphasize enough just how painful bird bites are. Their entire face is a set of needle posed pliers, and they know tricks the even the cartels haven't figured out yet. So there's always a little hubbub about who shall be The Vessel while onlookers, stranded outside The Office of Bird Capture, can only look on. Quiet arguments and pleas are heard, little fragments of fear and pride and glory trickling out of room like the silver dust left behind in a bag of well shook quarters. The sound of concensus is silence, and the argument will go on until that's all that's left. And then, from the darkness of the final office, the chosen sacrifice will step forward: Hands gently cupped, tears streaming down their face, fingers trembling from the pain of the ongoing bird chomps.

And this scene is what organizes people. Not leadership, not truly. No one can think and coordinate a crowd while their fingers are being attacked with a combination nutcracker/ear piercer. But the crowd sees the suffering of their annointed, and it is driven to do everything poossible to make the process flow. People instinctively flair out, finding the fastest path outside. Doors are held open. Paths are cleared. Someone, somehow, always knows the way forward and can describe it to the sufferer. Left, left, forward. Corner closet. Yep, there's a hall in there. Forward. Two-hundred more feet man, you're doing great. Just hold it together a little longer. You're killing it.

Then the final door swings open, and the bird flees out into what remains of daylight. And yet, even here, the deed is not yet done. I cannot explain it in words, but the crowd that helped is never content until they can see and speak on the Bird Vessel's wounds. They all have to pull the fingers back and see what was given. Estimate the price: One day to get better - No, three - No, a week! Are you blind? Do you see that blood blister? -Yeah, that's not going away anytime soon - Damn, can you believe how feisty those things are? Like wolves without teeth.

(They cannot help but touch as they go. It has always been this way. Even Thomas was not content until he felt the wounds in Christ's hands.)

Only when the last of the helpers has seen, and commented, and commended, will the engineers scatter. It is their return from the underworld that announces to the sun living surface dwellers that they too can go home. (@somerunner tolja it needed to be a post.)

[xxplastic-cubexx]

[right to left]

finally finished This Wip from Ever ago and so now i ask you ever look into another dudes eyes and suddenly want to do whatever he wants

[shameikaa]

Does anybody else's hunger activate the moment you eat something? Like I swear I could be starving all day no problem then my mom gives me a piece of cheese and now suddenly I want to devour the whole pantry

[hellenhighwater]

my wine night group--which is, barring myself, 100% mothers of small children in the detroit metro area; I am not sure how I landed in this social circle but they are fun--is doing a holiday gift exchange where you bring an item under $40 that was your "favorite thing" this year.

Friends I am struggling to come up with anything at all that fits into this category that other people in this group would like. My favorite purchases of the last year (which aren't secondhand and could therefore be replicated) are 1. my track saw and 2. my jigsaw. Which are both well outsidethe $40 range. Help.

[deecotan]

anyway here's wavewave

[florenceafternoon]

My favourite fic to read when I just want fun comforting romance. James and Lily having the time of their lives in their love bubble and trolling married wolfstar!! What more could I possibly want.

The text messages in chapter two never fail to get me giggling!!

This being said, a TW for stalking and discussions of SA (nothing graphic but I think you can put two and two together)

First Jily Fic posted to my AO3 account (we're not counting my unveiled fic for Valentine's Challenge @jilymicrofics).

Come have a read and let me know what you think. Feedback is super welcome!

Also, I LOVE prompts, so drop me one if you'd like Xx

[deimosatellite]