#so much emotion in just a few chapters
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I read a Vicious x Gren fanfiction a while ago, and im still devastated by it.
#cowboy bebop vicious#cowboy bebop#cowboy bebop gren#grencia mars elijah guo eckener#I AM BEING HAUNTED BY A FAN FIC#so much emotion in just a few chapters#still very very devastated
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girl your hanahaki au is absolutely wrecking my shit i--- I don't ever read ongoing fics and this is why. I just cannot wait?!? But the waiting somehow makes it better too?!? I'm literally dead bro I can't I love it so much
hahah omg thank you !! I’m really happy to hear you took a chance on this wip and that you like it so much!
not to get on my soapbox or anything but you have given me a great corner to shout from
as a disclaimer I totally understand why people will choose not to read wips and I truly think you know your mental health and what you can stand to wonder about/think about/obsess over/NEED to know a conclusion for better than anyone else
BUT as a writer who almost exclusively posts in wips, people reading them before they’re finished is my life blood and I am so grateful and it makes the writing process so much more fun for me because I know at least someone else is invested in my brainworm of a story?? someone else is enjoying it and thinking about it and I’m putting a small amount of good into the world??
the best analogy I’ve been able to come up with is like:
when you read a finished fic you’re eating a whole meal and that’s great that’s so amazing (especially if you tell the cook you liked it after you’re done). and you’re literally always welcome to eat that meal whenever you want. finished fics are like standing dinner invitations: I am always happy to have you and I mean that very genuinely
but if you read a wip, you’re keeping me company in the kitchen while I cook. and that’s sort of priceless. in some instances, you can even tell me the food needs more spice and I’ll think about it and listen!!! you’re sitting on my kitchen counter as I bustle around my space and we’re talking about what I’m doing and also how I’m feeling and maybe how you’re feeling and it just feels like community more than anything else I’ve experienced in any fandom. like you’re with me in my space as I’m creating food I hope you like. we’re both invested and it’s amazing
and I think in general that’s why wips are a lot of fun and also maybe why the waiting between chapters is fun for you - you’ve suggested that I add paprika to the pot and you’re waiting and wondering if I will, and I’m laughing and hoping you like the soup either way but also wondering if paprika will work with the recipe, and if I can add a bit to it just for you while staying true to the dish I envisioned at the get go.
#asks#(stepping off my soapbox) very sorry for that I didn’t know I cared so much#but the truth is I want everyone to read wips all the time and I DO get why people don’t#because a story that remains unfinished haunts you sometimes and people enjoy that on different scales#but wips are amazing#as an author with many#but also as an author with more completed stories than wips but who also is apparently#known for having wips which like make it make sense I guess whatever#wips are amazing because my#favorite part of stories is talking with you about them#I cut out answering ao3 comments a few years ago so I could focus on writing stories#but I always try to answer asks on tumblr#about a chapter before I post the next one#I love it it’s my conversation space where I feel most comfortable#comfortable *#and I’m so sorry#this ask answer has ballooned way past what your very kind ask warranted#I just have emotions about this lately#waiting can mAke it better I promise - you make a potato salad and you don’t immediately eat it. you put it in the fridge#so the flavors meld#sometimes fics are the same way tbh if you can experience them like#that.#sometimes you read a wip and you’re like wow that could be a motif and then you watch I#that motif develop over a year and you get this satisfaction of being right and also being proud of the writer??#idk I could be talknin#out of my ass but I just. love Wips. all the time and always
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Ngl im not really someone who cries much, like I can't, and there is this one song (the underworld, EPIC: the musical) that always makes me sad but I can't cry and it felt shity and then I explained to someone why it was so sad and saying it outloud made me cry and it felt good to finally be able to cry for that song
Umm
You should listen to epic the musical
It's like
25 songs
15 more are on the way
Most of them don't make me cry
The fact that this is the first piece of media too make me cry should tell you a lot about it's quality.
Oh man. I just gave it a listen and holy moly. You’re right, might have to listen to the whole thing! It HIT right in the gut.
#blue babbles#I’ve been listening to hadestown nonstop so it’s funny to switch from one song of a guy trekking into the underworld to another#I get tears in my eyes pretty often but I don’t sob that much! maybe once a few months#my tear ducts are very reactive but the rest of me isn’t… I’ll have a few tears but I’ll be like ‘I’m fine idk why my eyes are still cryin’#sometimes I cry while writing but then I’ll look at it like ‘is this good?? am I just a baby?? will this make people emotional??’#I can force myself to cry pretty easy bc I’m very good at getting in the headspace of a character esp if it’s a sad one#like Lydia for the next CorpseJuice chapter… she cries quite a bit in the first scene and OOF#dehydrated myself trying to figure out what expressions people make while crying#thanks for the rec Raine!!! it looks super rad!! I LOVE Greek mythology#if not obvious by my overabundance of references to it in loopjuice
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Drew a thing on how it felt on chapter 4 (some pics are taken from the BDP site)
#i post too much oc things lol#gpizza au#sovenist#gpgp#got a few thoughts#sadly they are incoherent#ik this isn't how chapter 4 exactly went down#just thought of how Sovenist would react or at least do in that#while under the influence of my emotions throughout chapter 4#siiiigh#digital art#oc art#my hamd got numb at the end so i just typed it instead of writing it#me to myself rn: im having fun with it im having fUN WITH IT IM HAVING FUN#to trick my mimd ofc
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#every sasuke#everysasuke#sasuke uchiha#naruto#chapter 49#chunin exams#// this entire panel makes me so emotional#sasuke was genuinely willing to throw away his dream of killing itachi#he was ready to move on and instead protect his friends#and then orochimaru and itachi had to go ruin that#sasuke grew so much over the first few arcs#just to have that torn away from him via manipulation
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sometimes the post-game world map music in Age of Calamity is enough to make me tear up
#it's beautiful#and it says 'it's okay. everything is okay. they lived this time.'#'mipha is okay'#;w;#unpopular opinion but aoc is more canon to me than totk#yes it's about mipha. it's always about her for me.#i just. love her so much.#so so much#she's everything to me#i wrote the first few lines of soac's last chapter and then loaded up aoc and just got... overwhelmed with emotion#mipha my love nintendo did you so dirty and the fandom can be so cruel to you too#but i'll always adore you and do my best by you
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Ough
#vent post#why can i not. look tbe way i wwnt#starts violently biting adn tearing at the fabrics arounf me#what the.freak!!!#ehy does everything always hurtall the time#tweaking out#gang the demons are getting my ass again#if i suddenly dropped dead that would fix me i think#i feel like such a fucking bitch for being unhappy with my weight because like. idk. is it fatphobic?? ive heard it be called that before#and also other ppl who have similar weights to mine are happy so. why should i not be#i giggle and i laugh and i joke but why am i actuayly like this browgat the freak#alsow hy am i soo fucked in the head#im like “teehee i just got silly as i grew!” HELL NAH. i was a lil fucked in the head as a KID😭😭😭😭😭#i remember going to bed one night and my mom was gonna read a chapter of a book to me and i specifically chose the torture chapter and it#caused a huge argument in the family#and i also drew SO MUCH GORE in elementary school#like girl😭🙏you have never been exposed to this. what is up with u#there are also a bunch of other instances but my vent art back then was also wild. as in more gore#now its just weirdly abstract with bright colors and a lota eyes#lots. lots of eyes.#whwre was i going with this#idk i hate my head. my little fucked up little brain#the way i think is crazy because emotions are usually depicted as scenes or images or feelings(its different than emotion trust)#and theres still blood. theres so much gory shit in my head. like girl get out of there!!! thats not where u belong!!!!!!#and then also the daydreams#ougghh the daydreams....#i hate the daydreams i wabt them to stop so bad but i physically cannot and also they r one of my few sources of comfort ESPECIALLY in#situations i cant get out of or distract myself in any other way#and sometimes its fine but also sometimes they fucking suck and its scary because im not here im THERE and so much shit happens there#lore drop
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Unconditional trust for Armor RESCINDED ❌
BOOKWORM is my new most trustworthy friend 🤝
#Tyto plays PoE#we just finished chapter 3 and the sun is coming up and I am in emotional shambles rn#Armor didn't do anything PARTICULARLY sus for the record. he's just not as safe a bet as he used to be#especially since it has now become obvious that nearly the entire cast is going to fall into one of two distinct categories:#Victim or Killer#and every few minutes that realization hits us again and we agonize over the thought that this or that character is soon going to#end up either dead or a murderer#and for EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER that epiphany HURRTTSSSS#the one exception is Renegade of course because fuck that guy SO much#but also the narrative probability of him being anything other than the last innocent standing is slim to none as far as I can tell#anyway I'm glad Workaholic isn't dead (yet) but I'm still heartbroken. we got to see deeper into his layers BUT AT WHAT COST#(AND MYSTIC!!!! SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN THE MEANTIME BUT I'M STILL NOT OVER IT 🫠 I WASN'T READY)
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hello everyone! a quick break from your scheduled art posting to talk about this incredible fic i think ever bloodweave enjoyer should read.
i know it'a already very popular, but imo it's a must-read. i could not praise this fic enough for what it is, the amazing ideas it brings to the table, the incredible execution of the timeloop trope. it's by far the fic i look forward to seeing in my inbox the most (not that other fics aren't absolutely gorgeous), because every chapter is just. a delight to read. it's got angst, fluff, and an amazing romance, but the plot is what really makes it stand out. it's tight, packed with great characterisation and has perfect pacing. please give it a shot if that sounds at all interesting to you. oh yeah, and did i mention that it's got art for every single chapter? yeah, read it. bask in its genius.
#pythoria.txt#turn on the laugh track#if anyone who follows me is already reading it don't hesitate to message me i'm in love with it and could sing its praises all day long#i also think it's a great experience to read it as it updates and the wait between each update is almost part of the experience#because you never know what will happen next and thinking about every chapter for a few days and letting it sit and marinate is the BEST#i'm ngl if this was pay-to-read i would not hesitate. every chapter could be behind a paywall and i almost wish they were just so i could#support the author and show them how much better they make my day with more than just positive comments#luckily for everyone it's free and an absolute joy to read#binge it or read one chapter at a time and let the story sit in your brain#to me this is a fantastic example of how you can sometimes tell a story better with fewer words#nothing about this fic is superfluous#a perfect example of efficiency in writing and how 2 sentences can sometimes wreck you harder than thousands of words#and the art follows the same pattern. it's simple; thematic; emotive#it's beautifully done without being perfect realistic renders. it's BETTER for it even.#it's got great composition and unbelievably touching facial expressions and poses#i just think. the person who created this fic is a bottomless well of talent and creativity. it is GENUINELY fantastic in every way
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daily writing update
ivory rain: 831
ivory rain total: 50,078
#back on the IR game back on the daily writing update game breaking 50k perhaps there is hope for me after all#i hope it's understood when the chapters come out but like...there are so many moving parts to IR it has my head spinning#i don't think it's too convuluted or anything i mean look who's writing it lmaoo#but like CE had 3 main characters and like one straightforward fantasy plot with a few strings here & there & some emotional arcs#IR has 4 (soon to be 5 plus others??) main characters plus more fantasy elements plus more relationships in every direction#not saying 'it's the best fic' i am quite literally just some guy being silly online but like.#from your local one shot + smut writer it's a lot to work with. but so worthwhile#my hope is in a few years i can look back & be like 'what that old fic? that's cool but look at how much better i got' yk#but that's what anyone would want ofc#apologies for the tag rant lol#valdangelo#pjo#daily writing update
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the new yotd chapter……..no coherent thoughts just
[ID: the first image is of a deflated emoji lying face-down on the ground, crying. the second image shows a sad-looking wet baby seal being held up in a person’s hands. the third image is of a mouse holding incense sticks, with text at the top and bottom of the image reading “求求老天爷别再搞我了” (translation: “please god, please stop messing with me”. end translation). end ID.]
#it’s a much calmer chapter compared to the last….many. but OOOUGHHHHHH#she just kept switching between comfort and absolute emotional violence. i need to lie down fr#hakyona my beloveds :(((( they’re just so so so sweet and kind to each other……...#i’m steadfastly sticking to my theory btw <3#akayona#also hoping and praying that someone uploads a high res image of the new hhb art soon so that i can stare at my special lil guys#i should have it in my hands in a few days but i think it’s too big for me to scan
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Hi! I hope you’re doing good in life! So it’s spooky season so I have an ask related to that. I don’t know if you play horror video games, watch horror movies/shows, or read horror books, but if you do, I have to ask: What is the most disturbing book, or video game or show/movie that you’ve played/watched/read? In my opinion, there is two types of horror: the ones that scare you, and the ones that traumatize you. If you can think of any book, movie, or game that really kind of fucked you up, I’m curious to know if you feel like answering. I hope you have a good day and a good life.
Hey, I’m doing good and I hope you are too!
the answer ended up being really long lol
Woof, this is honestly a pretty hard question, since I can't really name any horror (or otherwise) media that actually left me kind of fucked up for a bit, at least not to the degree where it affected me for a while. I probably haven't been really fucked up by anything since I was a kid, so I'll try and recall what a few things fucked me up back then...
Off the top of my head I know that two different spongebob episodes got me bad, the first being one with that tunnel of love thing (tho tbh i havent seen it in a while so it might still spook me today) and the one where i'm pretty sure for whatever reason squidward gets locked in some small locker and has some kind of fucked up dream, whatever that was. I remember there was an eagle in that one. the eagle terrified me. (i looked them up, and the first episode is titled 'tunnel of glove' and the second is 'squidward in clarinetland'. with how badly that second one got to me, i'm surprised i ended up learning to play the clarinet at all)
other than that, i think the courage the cowardly dog episode 'the house of discontent' got me pretty bad, too, but i think everyone who saw any amount of that series as a kid has at least one episode that got them fucked up.
there's probably a handful of scooby-doo stuff that got to me when i was a kid, but i could not name any specifics (asides from charlie the robot's original episode, christ) because i think i managed to see just about every bit of available scooby media around that time.
nowadays stuff still does kinda fuck me up, but it's usually only for brief bits of time. the most recent example I can think of is cowboy bebop's 20's episode, pierrot le fou, which is honestly some great horror, especially how it uses the show's typical format and flips it on it's head, but i wouldn't necessarily say it got to me because of it being scary, more because of the way the ending disturbed me for a bit. it was the only episode that had me stop afterwards and really look into it for anything other than clarifying a character's gender, lol.
the endings of both neon genesis evangelion and end of evangelion had me shaken, the latter more so than the former, but not really due to horror aspects, though. i did have to take a walk after finishing end of evangelion. i don't really watch horror movies, i just... read the wikipedia plot descriptions of them.
honestly, i think some of the more popular youtube analogue horror series have gotten to me worse (likely due to the fact that they can get a bit more fucked up than, say, a tv show or movie), specifically the walten files (which i did watch) and the mandela catalogue (which i just watched wendigoon's vids on), and those two and mostly because facial distortion is generally just an incredibly effective form of horror imo. a lot of the time (esp with the childhood examples) the way i was 'fucked up' was that id be in be visualizing the stuff that scared me, and both the mandela catalogue and the walten files had me doing that for a bit.
now that i remember it, i was really scared of fnaf when it first came out. i first learned of it second-hand from seeing some other kids looking into it, and the bits and pieces i put together about it really scared me.
honestly, it's usually straight-up disturbing sequences or imagery that gets to me the most, and i know my limits well enough to generally identify and avoid that stuff, which is probably why i don't have too many recent examples. i've got one or two examples of non-horror movies that fucked me up as a kid, but that's mostly because they were wildly inappropriate for someone of my age (at the time) to be witnessing, so that's a different sort of topic.
i mean, i think i generally have a decent tolerance for fucked up stuff in media, anyways, i mean, i enjoy berserk and haven't really been too upset or disturbed by what happens in it (look theres some nasty shit in there im not saying its not that bad) so there's definitionally some kind of line that media needs to cross to really get to me nowadays, or it just needs to be a specific kind of fucked up. books generally don't do that for me so i don't have any book examples. no games, either, though shadow mario and the haunted house segments in super mario 3d world scared me so much that i had to make my mom do the levels for me, and i'm pretty sure scooby doo: first frights scared me a bit when i first played it on ds.
other than that, though, I just think that, in pokemon x, the story that an npc tells you during your first trip to route 14 and then the strange office building encounter with the animation-less hex maniac creeped me out pretty bad.
yeah, it's kind of hard for me to think of anything (recent) that actually really fucked me up or anything. most stuff just scared me, never really fucked me up or figuratively traumatized me in recent years.
#asks#zeldanamikaze#salty talks#i think for media to really fuck me up there has to be some kind of intense emotional aspect to it or have some specific visual stuff#my enjoying of berserk is proof that it takes specific stuff to really get to me. the way i tested if id be fine reading berserk is so#fucked in hindsight. i straight up looked up the two most infamous eclipse chapters online and read them to make sure id be fine#what the fuck. i just dove in head first fucking god#anyways yeah. like berserk is generally fine for me but cowboy bebop episode 20 did have me a lil fucked up. its so good#ive been looking more into horror stuff recently and i have a lot of respect for (well-executed) horror games like damn. i wanna play#silent hill 2 so bad. it's a really interesting genre when pulled off effectively on a level deeper than just 'oh look at this scary thing'#anyways. i recently watched mononoke and its not really horror just kinda unsettling. its so fucking good#tbh tho there are some fanfics ive read that did actually fuck me up (which is why i kinda have an aversion to angst)#but i didnt want to talk abt those bc i dont want to name names or anything. theyre good fics they just affected me pretty negatively#generally its more like. freaky irl things that fuck me up but thats not fun to talk about its just like. depressing#sorry it took so long to reply to this i hadnt really sat down to write it or anything an just. couldnt think of much lol#anyways ig bottom line is that its more likely for non-horror stuff to fuck me up? or its gotta be specific stuff idk#i played a few hours of portal 1 at a friends house years ago and for some reason it creeped me out a whole lot#strangely enough i dont think scooby doo mystery incorporated fucked me up when i first watched it#i think there was like 1 episode that scared me more than the rest but it was never too bad#and that show is regarded as likely the most actually scary scooby thing. its rlly good#im pretty sure scooby doo was my first (or one of my first) special interest#also (similarly) i dont really get nightmares too often my dreams are just kinda really weird most of the time#i did actually have like. a scary dream recently but i dont know if id fully call it a nightmare
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"his lips tasted like ice and sin"
#so ive been reading this mega popular super long fic for a fandom i dont care about for a ship i dont care about (a procrastination method)#anyway ive read too much of it and felt obligated to keep going but i disliked it more with each chapter#coming at it from an emotional distance helped make it something of a mental writing exercise: pull it apart see why and how it works#my envious little writer heart just wants to know (i mean the stats on this bitch were rising in real time)#but i come upon the above sentence and i let out the ugliest laugh#i stop reading the fic just to process the silliness of what i just read#cue later i reopen the tab and my eyes instantly land on that sentence#suffice to say today i am free of that fic#its on me i shouldve stopped reading when the love interest was described as a 'fallen angel of death'#and its like the writer instantly realized what she's done so the next paragraph immediately starts with 'it was a cliche'#yeah girl it is#(love it when an author leaves their mental self-negotiations over a writing choice right there in the published text)#my decision to stop reading even tho im past the halfway point means i no longer have to read about eyebrows 'quirking inquisitively'#altho sometimes the eyebrow quirks questioningly; often curiously; one time it quirked disapprovingly; but its always quirking & so are lip#and people 'roll their jaws' (no i dont know what that means)#its a fanfic so im fine if the love interest smells like 'oakmoss and papyrus' (sillier scents have been sniffed on love interests)#but if you tell me he smells that way more than 7 times in the span of a few chapters i start having objections#given how many times it was mentioned i started wondering if its plot relevant (its not)#i have so many more thoughts but i like writing in the tags because its the tumblr equivalent of muttering out loud to myself#you might ask 'jyu why are you shredding someone else's work' the answer can be found in the words of contemporary philosopher lil nas x:#'i wanna fuck the ones i envy'
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the renchin kind-of wedding ending is the best shojo wedding ending i've read in years, i love everything in the world.
#the wedding speech scene being a replacement to a wedding vow scene. the first bite of the cake 😭😭😭😭#i will say the first volume is much stronger#the first few chapters of the second volume before ukie and kami had that cooking comp were middling for me#the cooking comp nd ending was phenomenal though just amazing#kakine#renchin#i love ukie so much. i love that the author didn't go overboard with pushing her emotions to the surface#there's a lot that's left unsaid. like she loves waki. she's trying her best and she's just as oblivious as her son.#shojo
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is there any worse feeling than when you feel like someone is mad at you bc they literally are mad at you
#i came into the living room and my dad was yelling abt how he basically hates everyone in the whole family#bc nobody got around to reqding the latest chapter of his book yet#but he was really upset and mad#i get being hurt by that but it literally is not a personal rejection people are just busy idk#he didn't let on he was upset at all until he completely flipped out#now he doesn't want anyone to read it anymore#he's really hurt tho bc we all always read my mom's stuff#and my brother and i talk abt what we're writing together all the time#and i get there's a special kind of hoy sharing your writing with someone but only when they're really interested and engaged#unfortunately the two people most likely to care abt hia book are my two oldest brothers and they dont live w us#so they cant really give him that feedback#he did send hia chapters to them but they arent around to talk abt it and havent responded yet#basically nobody actually cares abt his book#he's been talking abt writing one for like ten years or more and only started in the past few months#its a zombie book and full of his really weird and controversial political and religious takes tho sp its a stressful read#i dont really agree w him on certain issues and we're ok abt it usually but it makes reading it more stressful#anyway#he's really upset tho#and he can only express unpleasant emotions through anger so i shut down and cant interact#and he specifically said he doesnt want people do do the thing he's so hurt that we didnt do#so there's no real way to set things right to alleviate my anxiety#he's a very difficult person to love with sometimes but he's really generous and has done a lot to help me#so i can live my dream and start a business and he's not really pressuring me abt my job seaech and rent and stuff#so it does make me feel guilty that i basically didn't care abt his book#it wouldnt be as bad if literally everyone in the family hadn't also done that#when he does to much for everyone#he's mad at everyone but im the only one having a panic attack and im the only one he didn't yell at#he's not handling his emotions well but neither do i so we usually just dont acknowledge things like this until everyone is over it#but i hate that i literally need conflict to be resolved immediately or i go insane
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spring day never latches on to a permanent face. it takes the form of the people i miss whom i have no way of reconnecting with. ever since i read that message in my inbox, it has taken the form of you, kesya.
#i read that the night before a big midterm examination and tbh i haven't had the headspace to deal with the weight of the emotions until now#tumblr deactivations always bore more weight bc it's permanent and ig thats why it hurt a lot more i'm heartbroken#i didn't realize until now how much your deactivation has wiped—every ask sent; every reblogged interacted with; your tags; your writing#i've looked up to you for a while haha long before i've bombarded your inbox with lengthy asks abt bsd; i loved your writing first#then your thoughts second and how well articulated you were and eventually your whole being; how you consumed content as a whole#whenever you loved something you loved it in full; every piece of media you enjoyed was passed on with such appreciation#it showed in the way you passionately talked abt things; bsd-86-eren-aot to name a few. i always loved talking to you.#you always reciprocated my energy#i'm sorry for never getting around to answering your last ask i've been so busy with life. and i'm also sorry for finding out too late.#i can't quite sum up all my feelings into these tags. i just miss you a lot and i don't know where these emotions should go#but i hope they find you somehow. i'm not really going anywhere so i hope you'll find me here when the time comes.#who am i going to talk to when bsd s6 (whenever that may be) comes out? 🙁🙁#your presence is dearly missed kesya#i've received asks on your deactivation and have seen posts from your mutuals#for the past year since i've stopped writing here you've been the only thing i came for#i was always so curious to hear what you thought of the recent episodes or chapters. rest assured i'll love media the way you did.#just to carry on the bits and pieces i've absorbed from you somehow haha#i hope this finds you someday and you don't owe us an explanation or anything. pop into my asks if you do or just pm me directly.#i miss you. i'm sorry. i hope you're doing well wherever you are.#lots of love from a tumblr penpal-ish ahaha#love you!!#by-moonflower#kesya#kesya please find this T_T
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