#but the truth is I want everyone to read wips all the time and I DO get why people don’t

[tennessoui]

girl your hanahaki au is absolutely wrecking my shit i--- I don't ever read ongoing fics and this is why. I just cannot wait?!? But the waiting somehow makes it better too?!? I'm literally dead bro I can't I love it so much

hahah omg thank you !! I’m really happy to hear you took a chance on this wip and that you like it so much!

not to get on my soapbox or anything but you have given me a great corner to shout from

as a disclaimer I totally understand why people will choose not to read wips and I truly think you know your mental health and what you can stand to wonder about/think about/obsess over/NEED to know a conclusion for better than anyone else

BUT as a writer who almost exclusively posts in wips, people reading them before they’re finished is my life blood and I am so grateful and it makes the writing process so much more fun for me because I know at least someone else is invested in my brainworm of a story?? someone else is enjoying it and thinking about it and I’m putting a small amount of good into the world??

the best analogy I’ve been able to come up with is like:

when you read a finished fic you’re eating a whole meal and that’s great that’s so amazing (especially if you tell the cook you liked it after you’re done). and you’re literally always welcome to eat that meal whenever you want. finished fics are like standing dinner invitations: I am always happy to have you and I mean that very genuinely

but if you read a wip, you’re keeping me company in the kitchen while I cook. and that’s sort of priceless. in some instances, you can even tell me the food needs more spice and I’ll think about it and listen!!! you’re sitting on my kitchen counter as I bustle around my space and we’re talking about what I’m doing and also how I’m feeling and maybe how you’re feeling and it just feels like community more than anything else I’ve experienced in any fandom. like you’re with me in my space as I’m creating food I hope you like. we’re both invested and it’s amazing

and I think in general that’s why wips are a lot of fun and also maybe why the waiting between chapters is fun for you - you’ve suggested that I add paprika to the pot and you’re waiting and wondering if I will, and I’m laughing and hoping you like the soup either way but also wondering if paprika will work with the recipe, and if I can add a bit to it just for you while staying true to the dish I envisioned at the get go.

[pariahinteractive]

Sins of the Crown Update (2/16/2024)

Sins of the Crown: A sisters descent (WIP)

First off, I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to read the story, and I especially want to thank those who commented – it really helped. I'll go into the updates as soon as the new story link is up.

I'm also still open to learning what you think of the story, so don't be shy.

And here is the cover I'm thinking of going with.

You've done everything to avoid this outcome, yet here you are, embarking on a bloody campaign of your own. This one promises to surpass all others in the history books though. But what else can you expect when you're unearthing secrets that laid the foundation of the very world?

Sins of the Crown: A sisters descent is a Fantasy/Sci-fi story by Pariah where your choices control the story.

Play as male, female non-binary; gay, straight, bisexual or asexual

Romance 4 distinct characters with their own ideals, morals and agendas

Discover the truth of your space faring ancestors or cover up what you find

Use your elemental powers and weapons to mow through your enemies or instead go with a more silent approach. If you don't like either you can try to talk your way out.

Customize your gear and appearance

And above all learn to doubt everything

Hope you enjoy

I will be updating the hosted games forum post with this information once I'm done with all the changes.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Grey Zone 1

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon, manipulation, age gap, bullying, toxic parental figures, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your relationship with your parents has never been good, and that with a family friend takes a strange turn(goth!reader)

Character: Lloyd Hansen

Note: This is what happens when I decide to say fuck it.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you like I love turning intended one shots into series. Take care. 💖

The scent of matcha dampens your corset. Lucky for you, it’s black and won’t stain. That’s the one worry you rarely face in your life; stains. Dark fabric does more favours than just slimming you.

Still, that sunny side isn’t enough to brighten your mood. Your day has been shrouded in dark clouds. Your wasted Starbucks matcha and spoiled study sessions weigh down your feet, the thick treads of your boots clomping down the pavement. And on the bus, you nearly fell right on your face with no seats free to sit.

You look up as you approach your father’s ranch house style home. He didn’t take much pride in you but the house was always a gem for him to show off. Almost all your life, it was under one renovation or another. He was always trying to fix things up, including you.

Your mother enabled his endless ‘improvements’ so long as he bribed her with something pretty. That was her thing. He builds, she decorates, and you are the one ornament that doesn’t fit. At least, that’s what it’s felt like since your turn towards black nail polish and fishnets at thirteen. Seven years later and there was still the same angst woven into your parental relationships.

You tramp up the steps of the porch, not noticing the figure sat on the handcrafted bench near the large squared paned windows. Mr. Hansen sits with a can of craft beer in hand, arching a brow at the can as he reads it skeptically. He glances over, not so surprised by your sudden appearance. 

You take your earbuds out as the racket scratches from the tiny speakers. You thin your lips, smiles not exactly your forte. He sits up and puts the can down on the bench.

“Tastes like fermented socks,” he says coolly, “your dad never has anything good.”

“Mm,” you grumble as you grip the leather strap of your studded knapsack. “Yeah…”

“You want it? Just don’t tattle on me,” he offers as he taps the aluminum brim.

You shake your head.

“I won’t tell,” he smirks.

“You’re right, it tastes like socks,” you say dully.

He chuckles and brings his hand up, smoothing his palm across the buzzed side of his head. He looks at you, a bit longer than usual. You have the urge to take out your phone and check your reflection. 

“I should–”

“That new?”

You speak at the same time. Awkward. Mr. Hansen isn’t usually that out of sync. He has a confidence that makes you feel even more clueless.

“What?” You blink and twist your toe into the wood.

“That shirt.”

You look down at the boned black corset with the violet trim, over a plain black turtleneck. You got it from a vintage store years ago. You’ve worn it so much, the boning holds the shape of your body. You shake your head and shrug.

“Hmm, looks nice.”

The compliment catches you further off guard than his solitary presence. He’s blunt and to the point. The only person you’ve ever heard tell your father the truth. And you know your style is not to everyone's taste.

Looking at him, it's definitely not his. Cream coloured pants, burgundy loafers with golden buckles, and polo striped in shades of goldenrod and garnet.

“Thanks,” you keep from sucking your lip in, not wanting to smear your lip stain. “I should… go.”

“Sure,” he sits back, leaning against the window frame, “if you see your dad, send him out. He ditched me like fifteen minutes ago to find some nonsense sports card.”

“Right,” you continue across the porch.

In your peripheral, his head turns but you don’t meet his gaze. You pull open the screen door, innately aware of him watching you. Why?

The interior door is ajar. You step inside and the spring of the screen snaps it shut behind you. You put your bag on the console table just inside, and lean on it as you unlace your boots. Your mother would subject you to her shrill disapproval if you leave dirt on the runner again.

As you stand, you check your reflection in the round mirror hung on the wall, a frame of golden oak leaves around it. You don’t look that bad. You fixed most of your smeared eyeliner before you left the mall and your lip stain has stuck pretty well. You might be a bit shiny from sweat but nothing egregious.

Before you can grab your bag, the screen door opens. You wince and look at Mr. Hansen as he enters. He is close as he lets the door shut softly and you quickly snatch your knapsack and move away from him. 

“Second thought, gotta hit the bathroom,” he explains but pauses and wiggles his nose, the gesture made more obvious by the trim of hair beneath, “smells like grass.”

“Uh, yeah,” you sling your bag from your elbow, “spilled my tea.”

“Probably a good thing if it smells like a lawn,” he scoffs and kicks off his velvet loafers.

“Probably,” you agree glumly and turn away.

“Too bad though. Hope you didn’t burn yourself.”

You stop again, at the bottom of the stairs. You glance back at him. He’s being strangely nice. This isn’t the same man who called you Wednesday Addams and teased you how he was certain that you must sleep in a coffin. Is something wrong? Is your dad okay?

“Hey,” your dad’s voice booms down the stairs above you. You spin and look up at his descent. He carries the old cigar box he keeps his collectibles in, “home early. Thought you were studying.”

“Yeah, uh, I’m just going to do it here–” you say.

“Your mother wants you to help with dinner tonight,” he doesn’t let you finish. As he nears he stops, looking you up and down like he always does. You have to know that he hates everything about you. “Colourful.”

“Dad,” you whisper a weak plea.

He doesn’t answer you as he shoulders past. You frown but don’t look back. You don’t want to show how much it hurts. Even if it happens every day, it still crushes you. It’s just clothes, why does he care so much? You remember the day he stopped taking you to car shows with him, the day you refused to take out your earrings. That was the switch.

“Studying, huh? Boring, but admirable,” Mr. Hansen comments, “think most dad’s would love to hear that from their daughters, huh, Ray?”

Your father just huffs, “depends what they’re studying.”

You keep on up the stairs. You won’t argue, not in front of company. Especially not in front of Mr. Hansen.

“Degree isn’t worth much when you dress like that,” you hear his remark before you get to the top. 

You peek back downstairs but can’t see the landing below. Funny, you got a job and they don’t care what you wear, they just want you to show up. If only you had the courage to say it out loud. If only it would make a difference.

You shuffle to your room, just down the hall from your father’s. He occupies the primary room and your mother sleeps in her studio, just the next doorway. They can be amiable, given they don’t spend too much time together. Their relationship is more transactional than affectionate.

You wouldn’t know much about that, though. You’re only guessing. The closest you got to a relationship was when Travis invited you under the bleaches… that’s a memory worth forgetting.

You close your door before you can get carried away. You stopped worrying about your parents’ marriage right before high school. You realised then, there wasn’t any use in fretting in it. In fact, you became almost hopeful that one day they would split.

You put your bag on your bed and look around. The vanity you painted black stands beside the dark curtains. Little bat stickers decorate the edges of the mirror, your collection of antique vials and painted bottles line one side, and your make up chest sits on the other. It’s your little cave, the one place no one can tell you who to be.

You turn on the lamp in the shape of a crystal ball. You undo your corset and peel off your turtleneck, leaving the damp clothing in the hamper. You pull on a black and white striped sweater instead. 

You unpack your laptop and climb up on your high queen. The frame has curling iron posts, a particularly gothic design with a peak at the center of the headboard. You love it even if it scratches the paint off the wall.

You pile your pillows up, building a cosy nest to catch up on your work. It’s maybe ten minutes before there’s pounding on your door. Your mother doesn’t wait for an answer. You’ve learned not to expect her to. You look over as she flips on the overhead lights, ruining the subtle ambience of your bedside lamp.

“Uh, hello,” she snips, “your dad said he told you about dinner.”

You frown, “it’s only four–”

“Yes, and? I’m making a bouillabaisse. It needs lots of time,” she retorts, “besides, the table will need to be set for our company.”

“Company? You mean Mr. Hansen–”

“Er yeah,” she sniffs, “don’t be so dumb and stop asking questions.”

“Just curious,” you close your laptop and push yourself across the bed, “coming…”

Your voice trails off as your mother’s already gone, your door left slightly ajar. You huff and follow her tracks, her steps on the stairs as you get to the hallway. You pull your door shut behind you, checking to make sure the fault mechanism catches.

You continue downstairs and follow the impatient clanging of your mother. She’s never very subtle. She already has a glass of red on the counter. She’ll bark at you over it as she tells you exactly how to cook and refuse to do any of it herself.

“Oh, honey,” she says dramatically as she slams the soup pot on the burner, “you look so grim. What happened to that new gloss I bought you?”

“The pink stuff?” You utter as you pick at your sleeves.

“It went so nice with your complexion,” she preens, “it would look so nice with a new dress. I was online shopping today–”

“Mom,” you cross your arms.

“Don’t be a brat. You know, when I was your age, I would’ve loved if my mother still bought me clothes. She made me work for everything I had. She wouldn’t even buy me tampons.”

“I’m sorry,” you murmur.

“Don’t be sorry, get the fish out. Don’t forget the mussels…”

You do as she says. You take out the vast array of fish along with the vegetables she lists off. She empties her glass by the time you start adding ingredients to the blender for the base. You’ve never been a fan of the dish but the last time you tried to convince her on something similar, you went to bed with a stinging cheek. She pours a second glass as you run the motor, holding it extra long to override her nagging.

She leans on the counter, swirling her glass. You can smell her cabinet-laced breath. She’s tipsy already. You add oil to the pot and wait for it to heat up.

“You look so dreary in black,” she mopes, “what happened to my little girl?”

“I’m twenty,” you offer flatly.

“Oh, you started this long before that,” she snarls, “you never wanted to be pretty for your mama.”

“I…” you look down, “this is pretty. To me.”

“You look like one of those girls on the internet…” her head wobbles and she slurps from her glass, “I’ve seen the type. They wear tights like yours and nothing else. What are you always doing on your computer, anyway?”

The accusation scalds you. You shake your head and add the chopped onion, fennel, and leek to the hot oil. This isn’t the first time she’s made the insinuation. Like that time she found certain websites saved on your father’s iPad. It couldn’t have been him, he wouldn’t look at those things. And there was only one other person to blame.

“Schoolwork,” you sigh, “mom,” you look at her wine glass, almost empty again, “how about some water–”

“How about you don’t tell me what to do,” she points at you with a long red nail, “I am your mother, not the other way around.”

“I know,” you grab a rubber spatula and push around the veggies and oil. The fragrant aroma rises in the air. It stokes your appetite.

“Mmm, something smells delicious,” Mr. Hansen’s voice enters ahead of him as you glance over.

Your mother turns and leans her elbows back on the counter, pushing her chest out. You know this part too. Not just with him but the gardener and even the garbage man. Your eyes flick to Mr. Hansen’s before you quickly return your attention to the pot.

“Looks delicious too,” your mother slithers as she leers at him, “Lloyd, I didn’t even get a chance to thank you for the merlot!” She raises her glass sloppily, “there’s enough left for you.”

“Ah, Connie, that’s nice of you,” he replies as he nears, “but it’s cabernet, actually. And my stomach was turned by that craft bullshit.” 

He comes close to the stove, standing beside you as he peers down into the pot. The heat from the stove couples with that of his proximity. Your mother drains her glass and pulls away from the counter.

“More for me,” she chimes and grabs the bottle.

You feel a warmth on your lower back as Mr. Hansen’s cologne mingles with the scent of your cooking, “what’s for dinner, sweetheart?”

You realise he’s touching you. His hand slips under the wool of your sweater and his thumb rubs the skin along the top of your pants. You freeze and keep your hand steady as you simmer the veggies. You peek over at your mother, she’s too distracted with her glass.

“Bouillabaisse,” you answer in a brittle voice. You shift and his hand falls away, grazing the top of your pocket, a tickle on your ass. 

“Mmm, fish,” he purrs, “I’m starving.”

“Shoo, shoo,” your mother waves her hand at him, “won’t cook faster with you hovering around.”

“Fine, fine,” he raises his hands defensively, “don’t burn yourself, Connie. I see you doing all this hard work–”

“Oh, you,” she sneers and grabs the dish cloth from in front of you where it hangs from the oven handle. She whips the end in his direction, “no wonder you and my husband get along.” She snaps him with it again, “you’re a bunch of jackasses.”

He cackles, unbothered by her anger, but retreating nonetheless. You keep your head down and your mother takes another thick gulp. She scoffs.

“Men,” she slurs, “no good. If you won’t listen to me about anything, you take that in, hon. They’re all trash.”

You refuse to look after Mr. Hansen or think about the shadow of his touch on your skin. Men are confusing, that’s enough to keep you away.

[pablitogavii]

Best friends little sister Pt. 3

Pablo got the picture in his inbox the same morning. His heart jumped as he read Vinicius' instructions while I was peacefully sleeping on his arm. I told Pedri I will sleep over at Masa's and stayed with Pablo after the game to properly celebrate the win.

The picture

"Fuck!" he said and I slowly woken up brushing the sleep from my eyes smiling at Pablo's face above mine. I moved in starting to kiss his neck but when he pulled away I looked at him in confusion.

"You have to go! Um..I have a physical today" he says and I was completely lost since last night he promised me the whole day in bed? Did he really forget about the physical???

"But it's Sunday Pablito???" you remind him but he said they scheduled him earlier and he needs to be ready quickly. With barely a peck did he leave the bed as I got ready and left back home..not knowing that will be the last kiss in awhile I will share with Pablo.

Pablo knew that if he as far as looked at you, the picture will leak and ruin everything..any chance of being with me in peace...his friendship with Pedri..and my relationship with your brother. He needed to push me away no matter how badly he craved being by my side..it was for the better for all!

For the next five days I tried reaching out to Pablo without success. If I texted him, he didn't reply. If I called it went straight to voice mail. Today I decided to go to training and catch him before he left the dressing room..I was desperate and worried why he was suddenly so cold towards me???

"Um Gavi..can I ask you something???" I saw him leaving with Frankie in shock to see me standing by the dressing room in my school uniform. He followed after me looking back worried that Pedri might see something. We went into the conference room and he put down the blinds.

"What are you doing here!? And during school hours!? Are you crazy!?" he said but I didn't even listen to a single word rushing and kissing him feverishly..it's what I needed for all these days!

Although kissing me back, he was quick to pull away and walk backwards away from me..I needed to know what was going on with him???

"God you're so needy!!! Can't you understand I'm done with you!!!???" Pablo yelled but it didn't matter what he said, I refused to believe that is the truth..it couldn't be because it was so sudden and with no explanation!!!

"P..Pablo..what happened? what did I do??" you say tears filling into your eyes as you tried getting closer but he once again stepped back..like he was running away from you.

"You're a kid and I satisfied my craving, vale! Now just leave me alone" he said and your heart shattered..you left home in tears and haven't stopped crying for the next two weeks.

Meanwhile Pablo never played worse in his life..missing the passes..not scoring since the last El Classico and arguing with everyone all the time. He felt defeated and angry first at himself for not telling Pedri on time which would make it imposible for Vini to threaten him like this. He messed it all up!

"Y/n is really going through something..wanna throw her a beach party tonight??" Pedri said and at the mention of my name Pablo looked up suddenly being interested. It was his fault you were "going through something" so the lest he can do is help. They invited everyone.

At home, you were working on an english project.,

"And they wanted to run away together because of forbidden love.." Jacobo talked but I was somewhere else wondering how could I be so stupid to believe only my heart..my head always told me it was wrong and I should have listened!!!

"Please like they really love each other!" you snarl at the boy who held a book and looked at you with raised eyebrows. Great! Now he thinks I'm some anti love lunatic! Well done!!!

"Sorry..I just think they don't even know each other that well to be able to love each other" I tried to explain but Jacobo was already in my face with his lips on mine kissing me deeply. What the fuck!??? I pulled away wiping my lips.

"What are you doing???" I say and he apologized starting to pack his books. I then sighed telling him it was alright to talk about it like adults.

"I'm so sorry..I just like you and being so close lately.." he said but I never thought about it like that. Yeah, we spend time together at school and were partners for this English project but it was nowhere near kissing one another.

"I'm just.." I start but then didn't even know what to answer next..I'm nothing..Pablo used me..that was all!!!

"with someone else?" Jacob asked

"yes..NO!..um I'm just not up for it" I say mumbling and he smiled nodding his head and taking mine. He kissed it gently before getting up and ready to leave.

"I understand..but I'll fight for you..that you should know" he said and I blushed while walking him to the front door. Pedri watched me from the kitchen smiling excited to see your reaction tonight at the party.

It felt good knowing someone else wants to fight for me..so why the hell were tears spilling down my cheeks again!? Will I forever belong to Pablo Gavi!!!???

"Hermanita!!!" Pedri called a few hours later and I groaned walking down just to have him put a blindfold onto my eyes.

"You know if you weren't my brother, this would constitute as kidnapping, right Pepi???" I say giggling and he told me to stay quiet while driving me to the beach. Drive wasn't long but i was very impatient so I kept bothering him.

"Alright, alright we're here! Stop whining finally!" he said walking me and I could smell the ocean already and my feet felt the warm sand..I smiled.

"Are we at the beach???" I ask and he slowly took off the blindfold as everyone yelled "SURPRISE!" and I jumped holding my hands on my mouth. I couldn't believe he did all this for me..I really had a special brother!!!

Everyone was there around the large bonfire..Rapha brought smores and Balde played music on his speaker...Frankie turned on the grill..Ansu, Araujo and others played ball in the sand..and everyone was happy. Well, almost everyone was here..Pablo was nowhere to be found..I was happy about that but then light shined from the parking before he emerged from the shadow and my blood froze.

Our eyes met and I couldn't handle it..tears returned to my eyes and I just had to run away and get some air..it was a first ever panic attack I've experienced and the whole world felt like closing in on me.

I was sitting on the rock shaking until two arms held me and I looked into my brother's concerned eyes. He put his jacket over me holding me there in silence as I cried..why did he have to hurt me!? why me!? i never wanted anything but to love and be loved..and now i feel like a used up toy..

"Hey, whatever it is hermanita..you can tell your Pepi, bueno? I know it's kind of like I'm your parent here but I'm also just your brother..i never snitched on your to mom and dad, vale?" he spoke and I wanted to spill it all..the whole truth..and beg him to forgive me..to not hurt Pablo..but I didn't have the heart to hurt him..and even though I hate to admit, I didn't want to hurt Pablo either.

"I like someone..but I rejected him today" you lie feeling sick to your stomach that after everything he'd done, you were still lying to Pedri's face.

"You were scared?" he asked and I nodded..what else were I meant to do? one lie after another..it felt eternal at that point.

"Just call him..he's a fool if he doesn't want you" he said and I smile nodding and taking the phone he gave me..Pablo Gavi..you're one big fool!!!! I dialed Jacobo's number..

Pedri returned and Gavi after chugging onto another beer out of desperation asked about me..he wanted to follow after me..to hold me against himself and tell me he lied..that he loves me..so much it drives him crazy..but he knew he couldn't..not with Pedri already leaving.

"It's about the boy like always with girls.." he said and Pablo clenched his jaw..he was ready for his best friend to punch him into oblivion after I told him about everything but punch never came.

"She left with Jacobo, let's drink" when those words left Pedri's lips Gavi's whole body contracted and he watched you hop onto another boys motorcycle and drive off..he clenched his grip on the bottle and it broke leaving his hand bloody.

That night after Jacobo brought me home after nice dinner and kissed me tonight, I regretted it all..lying to Pedri again..getting into a relationship I don't want..and ever giving Pablo Gavi a chance. I fell asleep with tears once again.

A stumbling sound didn't wake me up but cold kisses on my shoulder and neck did and I really was about to scream but a hand was covering my mouth. I turned around and saw Pablo there clearly too wasted to know what he was doing.

"What are you doing here!!? Please leave!??" I tried getting up but he was too strong and had me pinned down on the bed with heavy breathing.

"Please..just one more time..we won't do anything..I just want to hold you one more time.." he was slurring his words and my heart was racing..he was clearly still feeling the same thing I did. But i had a boyfriend now..it was even more wrong then before!!

"i have.." but he didn't let me finish that sentence..he couldn't bare it in that moment and I knew it as his eyes were filling with tears.

"please cielo.." he whispered and I sighed feeling a lump in my throat from that nickname pulling his arm and making him cuddle me tightly as we both fell asleep..suddenly nothing else felt wrong.

Pablo woke up first..he had a horrendous headache but smiled looking down at me in his arms sleeping peacefully. I looked like an angel with my hair scattered down his arm holding onto him while his hand rested on my butt. It was perfect..and if he could hide from Pedri then he could hide from Vini as well!

Just as he was about to kiss me good morning did my phone ring and I jumped looking at my new boyfriend's name shining on the screen. I heard Pablo groaning and throwing his head back in annoyance.

"You should go and..Pablo don't ever do this again!"I said about to answer but he took my phone hanging up instead.

"You let me stay because you wanted it too! I know you're still mine pequeñita.." he said about to pull me close but I was done with his games. He hurt my feelings and made me feel like his toy only to act like it didn't happen..well that won't happen!!!

"I let you stay because you were wasted and wouldn't let go off my waist! I'm done crying over you so just get out!" I were as cold as he was seeing something in his eyes sparkle and it had a red ting..he was angry. The doorbell rang and we both went downstairs.

It couldn't be Pedri since he was at training that Pablo clearly decided to ditch..so it could only be Jacobo..shit!

"Hey beba I brought you coffee..oh hi Pablo, I'm a huge fan" he said and there went Pablo's confidence as he smirked looking at your annoyed face. Pablo took the coffee from the boys hands and you stood there in disbelief..what an asshole!

"She hates coffee in the morning cause it makes her stomach upset..see you around pequeñita" he smirks winking and you fought an urge to throw a rock at his big head right now! Although he was right..Pablo did know you so much better than Jacobo..

We went to school and there was Masa waiting for an explanation..Jacobo kissed me and left and I told her everything she missed since being away.

jacobo_bru

Beba @y.n.gonzalez

comentarios:

pedritoofan: he's her boyfriend!!?😨

gaviigirlss: she doesn't look happy like she did in pics with gavi :((

y.n.fangirlies: right!!? that's what I thought!!?

masa.babyy: my best girl❤️

pedri: ❤️

pedri.gavi.girl: nooo she's not happy with him pedriii!!

gonzalezfam: she didn't even comment!!?🤔

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Fic rec for my BFF, pt. 1

My best friend is currently watching 9-1-1. I've been trying to get her onboard the Buddie ship and she is graciously tolerating me. She's asked for some fic recs and so this is what I came up with! I did have to work with a few parameters to fit her taste, the most important one being nothing post season 3 cause that's where she's up to and she didn't want spoilers.

Hope you enjoy these bestie!

Canon to Canon Divergent

Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briar / @cal-daisies-and-briars 

Canon S1-S6, S7 Spec | 123/? | 379K | Mature

This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

THE canon fics to end all canon fics. I know it's still a WIP and it spans up to post-S6, but if you want a canon fic, that's the one to go for.

Leading with the Left by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels 

Canon Divergent, Different First Meeting, Stripper Buck | 84K | Explicit

When Buck said he was a "bartender" in "South America" what he actually meant was "stripper" in "Mexico." And when Eddie said, "What's your problem?" what he actually meant was, "Is this about the time you gave me a lap dance?" In other words, there's a few things the 118 doesn't know about Buck. Or Eddie. Or Buck and Eddie's relationship.

One of my most re-read fics. The smut is impeccable. The angst is so good. Absolutely love this fic!

Your Scars and Your Lonely Heart by Taste_is_Sweet

Sentinels AU, Canon Divergent - Tsunami | 82K | Teen

Clara Williams just wanted to visit Pacific Park during her layover in Los Angeles. She never expected to find a young, exceptional Sentinel dying for lack of a bond. Actually, what she really never expected was a tsunami, or the same Sentinel to save her life. But Clara's a Guide, so now she's on a mission to keep Evan "Buck" Buckley alive until she can get him to Eddie Diaz, the Guide who should have bonded with him, but didn't. Because Clara can't bond with Buck, no matter how much she wants to. There's just one problem: Buck's convinced Eddie doesn't want him, and he might not survive long enough to find out the truth.

Another one of my most re-read fics! I had never read a Sentinels AU before and I fell in love with the concept!

the distance to the stars by cloudydaisies 

Didn't Know They Were Dating, Post-S3 | 27K | General

“Didn’t know you were seeing someone.” Buck just laughs. Like, honest to god giggles. Eddie is stuck fighting off doubly massive waves of butterflies and confusion, all while Buck just gazes down at him. “That’s cute,” he hears Buck mumble, just before climbing into the truck, calling Eddie after him. - or, everyone knows eddie is dating buck except for eddie, literally.

Don't know if you knew this, Marie, but Buddie is the #1 most tagged ship in the "Didn't Know They Were Dating" tag cause they're such idiots <3 and this is one of my favorite ones!

the weekly bet (but the forever kind) by theleftboobgrabber/ @theleftboobgrabber 

Late S3, Getting Together | 49K | Explicit

“Thanks,” Eddie mumbles, hiding his face deep in his pillow, even if Buck can’t see him in the dark. “What for?” Leave it to Buck to be confused about something so obvious. “Being you, idiot.” “And again with the name calling,” he answers, content and sleepy. Nights like this, Eddie feels like asking for a miracle. But to the team, it wasn’t a matter of if Abby would take him back, but when. A matter of days. When the squad bets on how long it will take for Buck and Abby to get back together when she comes back to LA, Eddie is forced to reconsider keeping his feelings for Buck a secret.

Top tier pining + oblivious Eddie = 👌

Always, All Ways by ashavahishta/ @tevankinkley

A/B/O AU | 85K | Explicit

“Buck is very dear, Mr Diaz. Not only to me but to the pack. You’ll find that if you treat him with anything less than utmost respect you’ll have a lot of people to answer to.”   Eddie swallowed. It was clear that in the absence of a mate, this omega had found himself a very protective pack. “Understood, sir.” Or: Buck’s the only omega in the 118. He’s got secrets, and walls a mile high. Eddie’s the alpha determined to knock them down.

There's not a ton of A/B/O fics in this fandom, and I should really try to read more of them, but this is probably my favorite one so far!

I Hit the Accelerator (But the Car was in Reverse) by extasiswings/@extasiswings, letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/@letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

S3, Friends With Benefits, BDSM | 68K | Explicit

When Buck is forced to confront the truth about his breakup with Abby, having casual sex with his hot new coworker seems like the best rebound idea. Unfortunately, that hot new coworker turns into his best friend. But best friends can keep having sex with each other, right? There's no way this could possibly go wrong.

THE friends with benefits fic! (ok lbr there's a ton of great ones, but this one is S2 focused iirc)

AUs

My Blood on Your Skin (My Rose on Your Snow) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

Mythological AU, BDSM | 80K | Explicit

When Eddie needs cash and fast to take care of Christopher, his LAFD Academy buddy suggests a job as a bouncer at Elysium - an exclusive sex club in downtown Los Angeles. Eddie doesn't care what goes on there, so long as he's paid, but he finds he cares a lot bout the club's enigmatic owner, Evan Buckley, and it's not long before the two of them are violating every boss-employee rule in the book. But there's something different about Buck and the club, something not quite... human. If Eddie wants to keep Buck, he's going to have to delve into the world of immortals, and all the risks that implies.

You can expect amazing smut by this author as always, but also really interesting worldbuilding and characters!

All My Shattered Oaths by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

Vampires AU | 107K | Explicit

Eddie wants to stay away from his family’s legacy and give his son a normal life. Buck’s desperate to find a way to get over the love he lost. Fate has other plans for both of them.

SO GOOD. The canon divergent reincarnation vampire AU you didn't know you needed!!!

a bleeding sun on a silver screen by rarakiplin (gmontys)/ @hoediaz 

Actors AU, Friends With Benefits | 130K | Mature

One day, Buck will tell an interviewer that he would be happy to make movies with Eddie Diaz until the day he dies. But first, years before that, he sees Eddie for the first time on the set of Chimney’s fifth movie.

An epic tale of movie making and enemies to friends to FWB to strangers to lovers!

The Truth of Love (Amas Veritas) by allyasavedtheday/ @littlespoonevan

Practical Magic AU | 20K | Teen

Bobby opens his mouth like he wants to argue but decides against it. “Walk me through the logic here then. How will this make sure you never fall in love?” “Because I’m making someone who doesn’t exist,” Buck explains, glancing from the half-full bowl to Bobby. He can’t work out what the look on Bobby’s face means so he pointedly elects to ignore it. “They’ll have brown hair,” he starts, clipping another petal from the rose bush. “And brown eyes-“ “Lotta people out there with brown hair and brown eyes, kid,” Bobby says lightly and Buck rolls his eyes. “But not many that can ride a horse backwards,” Buck counters. “And whose favourite shape is a star and who’s got…two scars,” he decides, plucking a basil leaf and dropping it in the bowl. “One on each shoulder.”

Because Practical Magic AUs always make me think of you <3

I'll Scrawl it on Every Wall I See by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

Canon Divergent, You've Got Mail Fusion | 29K | Teen

When Eddie joins the 118, he and Buck don't exactly hit it off on the right foot. Or continue to walk on the right foot. In fact they kind of can't stand each other. Good thing they each have a beloved anonymous pen pal to share their daily woes with, someone completely unlike their insufferable coworker.

I do love some good romcom vibes!

[vivakitkt]

Genshin/HSR Characters as “until I found you” lyrics

Warnings: Bad grammar(?) not proof read, fluff(?)

A/n: I’m back after a few weeks and randomly came up with this idea at 1 AM in the morning :D my sleep schedule is nonexistent. ANYWAYS please enjoy this little wip :)

“I would never fall in love again until I found her”

Since the day you two got together, they vowed to always be faithful to you. Never would you see them with another. You are their everything. If you ever left them, they would stop at nothing until they found you again. You two were meant to be. The way their hand perfectly cupped your cheek, the way you would both try to surprise each other with your favorite dinner. God perfectly crafted you just for them. Not even the heavens could tear you apart.

Zhongli, Childe, Blade, Raiden, Wanderer, AlHaitham, Kamisato Ayato,

“I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her”

They were a sin to Earth, a being never meant to exist. But you showed them that they could be loved, that they didn’t need to hide or isolate themselves from others. They believed that they couldn’t be vulnerable, hold no emotions, after all they couldn’t let themselves be held back. When you two first met, you wouldn’t stop latching yourself onto them. Always following them around, treating them well, treating them normal. They told you multiple times to not get close to them. For they would only cause you pain. What a lie that became. When you joined, their world became much brighter.

Xiao, Wanderer, Diluc, Bennett, Shenhe, Blade

“Heaven when I held you again”

They love to embrace you and they love to be in your arms. Every second of the day, they’re in your arms. Or you’re in theirs. They don’t care whether their big spoon or little spoon. They just love to know that you’re close to them. When you’re not in their presence, all they do is think about when you will be. They especially love it when you give them extra attention by pampering them with kisses, even more so after a long day at work. They want to be with you forever and ever, even after death.

Gepard, Jing Yuan, Sampo, March 7th, Chongyun, Heizou, Ningguang, Hu Tao

“How could, we ever just be friends”

They loved you, you loved them. However both of your personalities made it difficult for you to confess, let alone notice the others feelings. Everyone around you two understand that you both like each other so they don’t understand why you both just won’t confess to each other. To tell the truth, they’re worried that if they do, they’ll lose you. And they wouldn’t be able to accept that. They want to be more than friends. They want to hold you in their arms, smother their kisses all over you, and spoil you even if you insist that they don’t have to. But the idea of lost will always be rooted in them.

Dan heng, Seele, Blade, Baizhu, Gorou, Kaveh, Keqing, Razor, Wanderer

[butcherlarry]

Weekly Fic Recs 24

So many good fics this week!!  There is also a link to some lovely art for one of them, so check that out too!!

Lousy Smarch Weather by Katflap (Batman_in_Lingerie)  (Superbat, complete.  Bruce is so, so smart, but also so, so dumb.  Clark explains this to Hal.)

A Peculiar Request by Katflap (Batman_in_Lingerie)  (Superbat, complete.  Bruce asks Clark to pretend to be his boyfriend to prove a point.  After a while, Clark wants to be real boyfriends.  Shenanigans ensue.)

School Gates by Sparkypants  (Batfam, wip.  An update to the Batdad fic.  School related chapters :D)

This Place Needs Me Here to Start by ManURonaldo  (Batfam, this fic complete, but part of a series.  An update to the Like Father Like Son series.  This fic is more Dick centric.  Mind the tags if you read any of the past fics in the series.)

The Downsides to a Secret Identity by liodain  (Superbat, complete.  The best kind of identity porn where everyone is thirsting after the other identity :) :) :) )

THE SKY IS EVERYWHERE by orpheusaki  (Clark Kent & Bruce Wayne (platonic?, complete.  PAIN, this one is PAIN, please READ the tags and summary.)

WHERE THE BLACKBIRD SIGHS I LOOK AT YOU by orpheusaki (Battinson, complete.  Battinson and Clark meet for the first time, painkillers are involved.  Very funny.)

Kind Truths by Mawiish  (Superbat, complete.  I had to reread this fic after seeing the art that battybat created for it!)

AT THE FIRST SIGN OF SPRING by orpheusaki  (Battinson, complete.  A Battinson adopts Dick Grayson fic.  Very sweet.)

I’M SO BLUE ALL THE TIME by orpheusaki  (Batfam, complete.  Bruce adopts cryptid Dick Grayson.)

Patchwork Pod by Ktkat9  (Superbat, wip.  More of the Merbruce fic!!!)

bloodletting by TheResurrectionist  (Superbat, wip.  An update to the Mandalorian/Star Wars fic!!  I might have screamed at the end of the latest chapter.)

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

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1. Hiii~ hope you all are well!! for ITMF, do you know of any fics where lwj or wwx is chubby/fat? and maybe some body worship of their fatness?

check out the chubby!Wei ying tag!

Do Not Eat More Than Three Bowls by GalliumYttriumArsenicFluorine (E, 6k, LWJ & WWX & OCs, Belly Kink, Weight Gain, Stuffing, belly stuffing, Feeding Kink, Feeder LWJ, Feeder WWX, Feedee LWJ, Feedee WWX, fat appreciation, pudge love, Body Worship, Body Image, Body Positivity, Consensual Kink, Verbal Humiliation, Humiliation kink, POV Alternating, Feedism, unintentional weight gain, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Chubby LWJ, Chubby WWX, Light Bondage, Dom/sub Undertones, Switch wangxian, WIP)

🔒 in your hands by everythingispoetry (T, 11k, wangxian, modern, Fluff, chubby LWJ, Weight Gain, Body Image, Body Positivity, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Secret Marriage)

Cessation by devinokaze (T, 6k, wangxian, canon divergence, YLLZ WWX, fluff, LXC pov) mentioned slightly in regards to LWJ

🔒 everything’s going to be discovered by everythingispoetry (M, 98k, wangxian, F/F, modern cultivation, reunions, soft wangxian, family feels, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, disability) this is a pretty heavy cisswap fic involving disabling injury, so be mindful of that but it does feature chubby lwj and a positive attitude toward that from the important people.

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2. Hello! ITMF mute!Wei Wuxian? Preferably canon era. Thank you!

you're the right time (at the right moment) by carmiemaybe (glazedlilies) (G, 1k, wangxian, Modern, Post-War, Soldier LWJ, mute WWX, Historical, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Feels, Crush at First Sight, Pining, Short & Sweet, Romance)

The Untamed Retelling by DCandMARVELnerd (T, 86K, WIP, WangXian, Chronic Pain, Chronic Illness, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Injury Recovery, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Dysfunctional Family, Abuse, Retelling, Canon Rewrite, Friends to Lovers, Romantic Friendship, Developing Friendships, Love, Fluff, Angst and Feels, Selectively Mute WWX)

Muted by Akabara_13 (T, 46k, WIP, WangXian, Muteness, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Angst, For Want of a Nail)

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3. Itmf fics where lxc (or another character, just not people who already knew about truth of bm etc) become aware of the dangerous lying politics that lead to wwx demise (untamed verse) as its happening. And it's like a political intrigue. Like I know there are some 'x-person goes to the burial mounds and sees the truth', but what about fics where people find out because of a dif reason?

ask until your heart gets it right by Stratisphyre (G, 6k, XuanLi, Implied XiYao, Background WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fluff and Humor, Unreliable Narrator JZX, Minor surprise pairing at the end, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies) not sure it quite fits, but here's a (great!) fic where JXZ wins JGY's loyalty and the latter kinda spills the beans on the Qiongqi Path stuff. It doesn't get into the politics that much though.

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4. I'm in a mood to know what you all are reading right now :D

backfire by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 53k, wangxian, LWJ/MXY, one-sided MXY/WWX, MXYY/NMJ, modern, BDSM AU, Biologically Determined Dom/sub Roles, BDSM, Bad BDSM etiquette, Sadism, Masochism, Past Sexual Abuse, Sexual Slavery, Self-Harm, BDSM as a Form of Self-Harm, Minor Character Death(s), Arson, Shades of Black Widow WWX, Extremely Dubious Consent, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Normalized Homosexuality and Bisexuality, Normalized Polyamory, Nonsexual BDSM, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Pining WWX, Jealous WWX, Touch-Starved WWX, Professional Dominant WWX, Sex Worker WWX, Gentle Dom LWJ, Mean Dom LWJ, Oblivious LWJ, Past WC/WWX, Minor JGY/WWX, Mentioned WWX/Others, Emotional Infidelity, Angst with a Happy Ending, Endgame Wangxian, MXY Also Gets a Happy Ending, the tags are scary but i promise there's some lightheartedness too, wangxian love one another so much, WWX is healed by the power of nonsexual bdsm and friendship, and then gets bdsm'd quite sexually and happily by the love of his life, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, WIP) currently reading backfire over one squidgeworld!

🔒🧡 Rule Number One: Never get attached. by KizuKatana (E, 130k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O, Criminal underworld AU, Fluff and angst, Crime boss LWJ, Rouge criminal genius WWX, Explicit Sex) Rereading this!

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5. Itmf what is ur fav unexpected combo yet coolest crossover or fusion fic that you've read? Bonus points if it's not crossed with another MXTX work. I once read a rise of the guardian fusion that was very neat. Esp the begining.

🔒 and having a marvelous time by varnes (E, 108k, WangXian, Yúnmèng Siblings, Sound of Music AU, (i know!!! i know. stay with me on this.), Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Family Feels, spies to lovers???, Protective Siblings, Sometimes You Just Want Your Dads To Admit They’re Your Dads, Angst with a Happy Ending)

🔒 some lovely, perilous thing by varnes (E, 24k, WangXian, Inception Fusion, Criminal Associates To Lovers, Heist Case Fic)

Wei Wuxian Makes a Wish series by natcat5 (M, 119k, wangxian, major character death, underage, madoka magica au, modern w/ magic, time travel, high school au, body horror, self-harm, angst w/ bittersweet ending, time loop, mental instability, suicidal thoughts) have not stopped thinking about this fic since I read it

If also love to see that rise of the guardians fic 👀👀👀

Castle in the Wastes by ailuridae (abigailnicole) (T, 41k, wangxian, Howl’s Moving Castle fusion, personified Chenqing, canon typical violence)

Diplomatic Incidents by Ariaste (M, 35k, WangXian, IB/DP, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Getting Together, Linguistics, Translation Spells, canon-typical borderline alcoholism, Fluff, a touch of angst for spice, being in love but not admitting you want to sleep together, Versus, sleeping together but not admitting you’re in love, Post-Canon, post-canon for MDZS anyway, during-canon for DAI)

Wei Wuxian is the Actual Bogeyman (no, really) by chatonnerie (T, 57k, WangXian, Rise of the Guardians AU, Crack, not gonna lie, i mean they literally call wwx the bogeyman my poor brain could not resist, TW:Death, I mean, Jack Frost cannonically dies)

🔒 Come by it Honestly by ladyshadowdrake (M, 25k, Geraskier, WangXian, The Witcher Crossover, Crossover, Adventure)

🔒Light Bearing Lord and The Patriarch by Anonymous (G, 3k, WangXian, Rise of the Guardians Crossover, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Relationship Reveal, Established Relationship, kind of crack, Crack Treated Seriously, WWX and LWJ are Guardians, but not just of Childhood, Implied Sexual Content, WWX and LWJ being Shameless)

🧡 Of Ghosts and Heroes by The Silverfish (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 51k, AS & WWX, AS/YH, WangXian, BNHA/MHA Crossover, Dimension Travel, POV Outsider, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Angst)

❤️ More Questions than Answers by tiniestawoo (T, 2k, Sterek, WangXian, Teen Wolf Crossover, Curses, Curse Breaking, Modern with Magic, (alternate for CQL I GUESS?), Full Shift Werewolves, Beta DH, Demonic Cultivation, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack Crossover)

The Return Of the (Yiling) Sith by Zephyr (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 23k, WangXian, SongXiao, Star Wars Setting, Hurt/Comfort, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Alternating, The Force, Kidnapping, Pining, IN SPACE!) (Link in #7)

mountains, we met by fruitys (E, 79k, WangXian, Historical, The Handmaiden (2016) Fusion, Enemies to Lovers, Misunderstandings, Secret Identity, Touch-Starved, Sharing a Bed, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Angst with a Happy Ending, falling for the person you’re supposed to be swindling: the love story, getting revenge on the people who manipulated you: the saga, and some cws……., Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Mental Health Issues, Emotional Manipulation, Blow Jobs, Rimming)

A Long Road by Vathara (T, 187k, WangXian, Fluff and Angst, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Scheming NHS, Necromancy, Fire, Ghosts, Accidental Child Acquisition, is it an accident if the ghosts keep bringing them?) a Heralds of Valdemar fusion! Caveat that it's necessarily butchered MDZS canon to fit into the Valdemar fantasy series, but it works.

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6. Are there fics where Madam Yu just really gets told off for how she treats people, though especially Wei Ying? I'd especially love to see Lan Zhan do it. Thanks!! @eebee

leading tone by silencemostofall (G, 32k, WangXian, Modern AU, Soulmates, with a lil twist, Eventual Happy Ending, lesbian wq rights, Music, Orchestra, platonic and romantic pining) it's pretty small part (but w big impact) near the end but it's there

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7. Hii ! For this time's itmf , I'm looking for a fic with a concept of there being a 'chosen one'

Kinda similar to this fic "So You Accidentally Kidnapped A Qilin by Mikkeneko" . It can be alternative universe or Canon , thank you♡ @karinasnowwwx

The Return Of the (Yiling) Sith by Zephyr (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 23k, WangXian, SongXiao, Star Wars Setting, Hurt/Comfort, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Alternating, The Force, Kidnapping, Pining, IN SPACE!)

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8. itmf a well-written role reversal fic where lan wangji dies instead of wei wuxian/ jiang yanli. Basically lan wangji dies, and the fallout

If I Could Go Back in Time by Runningbarefoot (M, 122k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Role Reversal, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, YLLZ WWX, Eventual Happy Ending, The Twin Jade Brotherhood, Hurt/Comfort, Character Study, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Slow Burn)

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9. Are there any fics in which wangxian fight/quarrel a lot?

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10. itmf lwj being roofied @jawla-mukhi

To keep you safe by Lookeri (T, 3k, wangxian, rape/non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Protective WWX, Drunk LWJ, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Sexual Assault, No War AU, Hurt LWJ, WIP) Only one chapter posted so far though

The Lines of your Soul by athena_crikey (M, 24k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, rape/non-con, Modern with Magic, photographic cultivation, sects as fucked up as ever, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, for blackmail purposes, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, stigma/judgement, Trauma, Emotional Whump, hurt/comfort, Yu-furen back on her bullshit, politics over people, WWX will always have a traumatic past, Panic Attacks, everyone! needs! THERAPY!)

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11. Hello! I was wondering if anybody knows a fic where LWJ and LXC have to switch places (the concept was mentioned in another fic I've read and I'd love to see what them attempting to act like the other could look like)

Two-Faced by nirejseki (Not Rated, 2k, LXC & NHS, LXC & JGY, Mistaken Identity, early reveal) probably not exactly what you're looking for but maybe worth a look. LXC pretends to be his brother as ?a prank? and it goes disastrously off the rails

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12. Hello! I'm in the mood for a wangxian fic that focuses on Lan Wangji's grief after Wei Wuxian's death and then his feelings throughout their reunion

hold me close by gentil-minou (Flyingsuits) (E, 13k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Porn with Feelings, Emotional Sex, Grief, Mental Health Issues, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, tender husbands being tender, 13 years of grieving followed by a life time of healing from it, Do you ever think about how lwj spent 13 years thinking he’d never get this, and then he gets it and how hard that must be to accept, because how could it be real how can he prove to himself, that it’s not all just another dream waiting to shatter is he being cruel to wy, for not believing it some days?, no? just me?, Character Study, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Working Through Grief With Sex, Grieving Your Husband While Fucking Him)

New Perspective Series by mrcformoso (T, 35k, WangXian, Angst, Hopeful Ending, Fatherhood, Regrets, Flashbacks, POV LWJ, LWJ-centric, Canonical Character Death - WWX, Pining LWJ, LWJ Has Feelings Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī Needs a Hug, Character Development, Dead WWX, Introspection, LWJ is Bad at Feelings, Character Study, Regretful, LWJ Breaking Toxic Cycles, Canon Compliant, LWJ in Seclusion, Post-LWJ in Seclusion, Child LSZ)

~*~

13. hii, thank u for doing imtfs, can I get some fics which deal w additcion?? thanks @mercurygirlwt28

Say More by lettered (E, 95k, wangxian, LWJ/MXY, modern, Pining, Slow Burn, non-graphic drug use, non-graphic withdrawal, Drug Addiction, one suicidal thought, negative thought, wwx struggles with Mandarin and feeling connected to Chinese culture, Compulsory Heterosexuality, wwx kisses a girl, Sexuality Crisis, Gay Panic, some gender confusion and questions without serious gender questioning, incorrect definition of omnisexuality, Open Relationships, Masochistic Fantasies, non-graphic sadomascochistic realities, humiliation fantasies, Submission Fantasies, some D/s realities, one condomless blowjob, suggestions of some unhealthy co-dependence, Possessive Behavior, Slight Consensual Non-Consent, Frottage, the open relationship is not wangxian)

something so flawed and free by verseau (E, 59k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Graduate School, Dom/sub, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Non-Sexual Submission, Kink Negotiation, Biting, Overstimulation, Cock Warming, Consensual Non-Consent, Spanking)

Lifelong Confidant by saved (E, 42k, wangxian, modern, Fluff and Angst, Past Character Death, Families of Choice, Explicit Sexual Content, Idiots in Love, Misunderstandings, Oblivious WWX, playing fast and loose with basic real life things, references to past alcoholism/substance abuse, Alcohol)

Cloud Nine Series by mssdare (E, 86k, WangXian, Modern AU, YouTube, Depression, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Substance Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Mental Breakdown, Suicidal Thoughts, ASMR, youtuber LWJ, youtuber WWX, Social Media, Getting Together, getting better, Happy Ending, Intercrural Sex, Shower Sex, Sleepy Cuddles, Videoblogging, Sexual Dysfunction, Erectile Dysfunction, Medication, Touching, Anal Sex, Domestic Bliss, Nightmares, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, side effects of medication, Slow Pace)

🔒 watching my heart go round by typefortydeductions (E, 77k, wangxian, modern, developing relationship, grief/mourning, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, implied/referenced suicide, mental health issues, past alcoholism, dom/sub, BDSM, impact play, consensual non-con, dirty talk, objectification kink, dom LWJ, sub WWX, building a family, the work of getting better, sex in SSRIs, happy ending, breathplay, rimming, orgasm denial, safe word use)

The Life and Times of a Rock Star in Crisis by Hammsters (M, 62k, wangxian, Celebrity au, Modern, Hurt/Comfort, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Rehabilitation, Dysfunctional Family, Memories, Fluff and Angst, Rock Star WWX, Librarian LWJ, Libraries, Social Media, Paparazzi, WWX has earned his highly publicized mental breakdown, he worked hard for it, Grief/Mourning, Mental Instability, JC being a good brother)

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14. heyyy thanks for all your hard work! itmf any fics that involve lwj being jealous. :) @aquiver-heart

The Epic Lie of the Yiling Laozu and His Wife by JaenysBloodcourt (T, 9k, WangXian, XianQing, NieYao, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fake Marriage, Misunderstandings, Lies, Jealousy, A really tiny bit of jealous LWJ and JC, Assisted reproduction (mentions of insemination with talismans and other things), Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied Mpreg, yiling wei, WWX Has a New Golden Core, More like a red core, BAMF WWX, Canon Divergence, dialogue heavy in some parts, A little angst, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian)

~*~

15. hello again! thank you for your most recent itmf post. i’ve been thoroughly spoiled with amazing fics.

i’ve been reading 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark for the first time and seeing nie huaisang and wei wuxian’s friendship has inspired me to return to ask for more. the nie clan’s secret cultivation techniques always make me think of how invaluable wei wuxian’s knowledge or help could be to them if only a certain order events happened during canon. so, i was wondering if there were any canon divergent wangxian fics out there that specifically touch on nie huaisang and wei wuxian’s mutually beneficial friendship? preferably pre-nightless city fall/burial mounds raid? anything will do but i really enjoy seeing nie huaisang’s genius completely f*** over jin guangyao specifically. (although jin guanshan, su she, jin zixun, or xue yang downfalls are also lovely to see as well.) thank you in advance ♥️

no one ever said the single-plank bridge had to be walked alone by rosemu (T, 124k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Yílíng Wèi Sect au, Fix-It, Not Everyone Dies, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, Fluff, Angst, Domestic Fluff, Canon-Typical Violence, Found Family, Slow Burn, LWJ and WWX get to be Dads together, the healing power of homoerotic flute/guqin duets, Happy Ending) NHS helps out the Burial Mounds settlement & absolutely destroys JGY

The Core Issue by Hauntcats (T, 21k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence) Has WWX dropping in on NHS & helping NMJ with the Nie Clan's cultivation issues

~*~

16. Hiiiiiii 👋, Firstly, I love this blog so much - it's really amazing. For the next itmf blog, i was wondering if there are any fics where:

A] Wwx is overprotective of lwj and possessive. It can be in a dark wwx vibe but more so like just normal wwx being so defensive and concerned about lwj in front of others.

B] Some royalty au where wx is in an arranged marriage and wwx is smitten

C] any fics where wwx did something wrong and has to work hard to get lwj back (they dont have to break up/ separate- maybe he just has to work to get back in lwj's good graces)

- please let all have happy endings with wx as the main couple

Thaaaank you💕

~*~

17. Hey, guys! For ITMF, are there fics where WWX has to rebuild his spice tolerance in MXY's body? I refuse to believe that they both have the same tolerance when WWX likes his food saturated to a point that other spice-enjoyers think is a bit much & MXY barely got food at all. (Bonus if he now finds Lan food tasty & is just So Offended about that. Extra bonus if his alcohol tolerance is gone too.) @thispatternismine

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[sunwarmed-ash]

WIP Thursday/[Sinful Sunday post??]

hey so im gonna be taking time off writing for another job all next week so I'm posting this so you have something to read. DONT WORRY Sinful Sunday will continue, I'll just be busy this sunday and next making that capitalist coin!

This may turn into a fic, it may not. I wrote it right after I finished QAF for the 36th time.

Tags: Angsty steddiegrove, sex work, HIV+ character, violence

"Where do you go at night?"

Steve and Eddie are lying on Steve’s bed smoking weed when Steve asks the question that will inevitably change the course of their relationship, their future, forever. 

"What," Eddie asks, trying and failing for aloof. He thought he had been so careful. 

“You sneak out, every night. Where do you go, when you leave?"

Lying is the only probable next course of action. If he wants to keep Steve in his life that is. The truth will sever everything they once had. 

“Dealing doesn’t exactly fit a normal 9-5," Eddie says. It’s a half-lie. 

"You were selling drugs in Lafayette at 3 in the morning? Do you think I’m stupid," Steve snaps.

Eddie’s entire body flashes hot with the amount of detail in that accusation.  

"What? No! Wait, how did you- hang on, have you been spying on me?"

"Answer the question Eddie!"

Eddie feels cornered, and that’s never a good place for him to be. Because when he feels trapped, he lies, and he can’t stop. He will say anything to cover his ass, even if its just to survive to see another minute. 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you..."

Steve scoffs at Eddie’s attempt at self ownership. 

"Why can’t you tell me, Eddie? I mean, after everything we’ve been through!”

Eddie bites into his tongue. He wishes it was that easy. God, does he wish it could be that simple...  

“i can't, not with everything baby. I'm sorry.” 

“Why not?” Steve demands and now he’s angry. His eyes are lined with tears and Eddie can feel the beginning of the end coming like an approaching storm. 

“Because you won't love me anymore.” 

It’s the truth. And Eddie hates to even hear the words out loud. Because its gonna hurt so bad to hear it twice. From Steve’s lips. The soundbite will live with him for eternity. 

“Isn't that for me to decide,” Steve objects. 

“You've already decided.” 

Eddie remembers the shit Harrington pulled on Wheeler when she hurt his frail male ego by just existing in the same space as another man. He remembers the hateful way Steve spits the word ‘whore’ because he associates it with his father and all of his sins. It’s how everyone says the word. Like its poison in their mouth. 

Slut. Hooker. Whore. But that's what Eddie is. Until he can find something that pays better. Because he has to eat. He and Wayne won’t survive an Indiana winter without heat. And after Eddie was banished and then half-heartedly rewelcome into a unstable healing community, no one in Hawkins treats him the same. Weed sales have dried up. No one wants to hire him for any job. Not even the mechanic shop down the street that is desperately understaffed and Eddie is overqualified for. So what the hell else is he supposed to do? Wayne just turned 68. He shouldn’t need to work 12 hour shifts just to barely support the kid he didn't ask for in the first place. Eddie never should have been his burden. So this is Eddie’s way of giving back. Pulling his own weight so he didn't feel so much like a goddamn freeloader all the time. But could Steve understand that? Steve wasn’t stupid, but he also wasn’t, lets say as morally flexible as some other people.

"I can't- do this Eddie... If you’re going to lie to me." Steve says and one look into his eyes and Eddie feels what's left of the tie between them sever. 

"I'm not lying," He insists but its a half truth at best. 

"You're not telling me everything, that counts," Steve all but shouts. 

"You don't tell me everything."

He referring to whatever the hell went on between Hargrove and him two years ago. Eddie and Steve arent the only people different after an apocalypse. Their previous heated rivalry has all but burned out. So has Hargroves own personal brand of anger. They move around each other like chess pieces, always conscious of the others movement to limit interactions at school. But after school? Eddie’s seen Billy’s camero parked at Harrington’s more than it's parked in the trailer park. 

"That's different Eddie,” Steve huffs, scoffs as he pushes his hair back. “and you know it."

"How, how is it different Steve?" Eddie’s never brought it up before tonight. Eddie’s never been one for exclusivity, why the hell should he expect Steve to be?

"It doesn't involve you, or us. This does."

"Right,” Eddie scoffs, “Well, for argument's sake, it is safer for you not to know. For both of us."

Steve is silent for three beats too long.

Here it comes. 

Eddie can’t look at him. His face goes numb before the words can hit his ears. 

"Then you have my answer Eddie.”

It still hits him like a slap in the face. Steve’s done with him. And it hurts so much more than he anticipated it would. 

Eddie knew it was only a matter of time. He knew what Steve wanted in the end, and it was still someone more like Wheeler. A sweetheart. A family. Nothing Eddie can guarantee. Eddie doesn’t have much to say in his defense. So he doesn’t. 

"I'm sorry Eddie,” Steve, obviously uncomfortable in the silence, speaks again. “This is just, too much for me right now.”

"Okay,” comes out of Eddie’s numb mouth, even if it's the complete opposite. 

Eddie knew a clean break now would eventually be better than enduring their relationship fizzling out slowly. But it doesn't mean the inevitable failure of one more relationship doesn't hurt.

-two months later-

“Munson?”

Eddie blinks, of all the people to find him, here, he didn't think it would be Californian transplant, and fellow trailer trash bad boy Billy Hargrove from Hawkins. He just wants to disappear into the pavement. 

Eddie’s feet move to sprint, but Billy’s lighting reflexes catch him before he can. 

“Where the hell are you going now, Eddie?”

Eddie rips away from him. He hates the way his name sounds out loud. He hadn’t felt like ‘Eddie’ in weeks. He’s barely felt like anything. More like Nothing and no one. A nameless face in a sea of sex workers, businessmen, and bar patrons that he cycled through every day. 

“It’s none of your damn business,” Eddie spits, though it doesn't have much venom. He doesn't have the energy. He's sick, he’s cold, and he’s so fucking tired. He still has two more clients he can’t blow off tonight if he wants to have a prayer at ever getting unburied under his last hospital bill. Billy Hargrove and Hawkins and all that past shit is his lowest priority.  

“People are worried man,” Billy says, stopping Eddie from taking more than a step away. “Wayne especially. Don't you give a shit about him?”

Now Eddie is pissed, because who the fuck did Billy Hargrove think he was, telling him about what he should do? Talking to him about Wayne. As if he understood a goddamn thing about their lives! His anger flairs up his cough that only aggravates the pneumonia-scarred tissue and then Eddie’s coughing so hard it nearly knocks him over. 

When Billy moves close to ‘help’ Eddie slaps him off. 

“Everything I’m doing is for him! You don’t fucking know shit, Billy! How could you, you're just a kid!”

And while Billy was 17 and Eddie was 6 months into his 23rd lap around the earth, he felt so much older. His tragic sequence of life events had aged him decades. He’d be lucky to make it to 24 at this rate. 

Billy watches him curiously, putting together pieces Eddie doesnt mean him to. 

“Why did you take off Eddie?” 

“Why do you care?” Eddie doesn’t really think it's concern he sees in Billy's features. 

“Wayne doesn't have anyone else. You scared the shit out of him when you left.”

“Oh and what, you two are bffs now,” Eddie asks bitterly. 

Billy shrugged. 

“We've been spending a lot of time together, yeah.”

Eddie scoffs wetly. Fantastic. Now even Wayne has his own Eddie replacement. A better, nicer son. If Wayne didn’t need him anymore, well, he didn’t have any more ties back to Hawkins. He should be relieved, but instead he just feels empty. Forgotten. Unwanted. Billy had said people missed him, but the only name he offered up was Wayne’s.  

Eddie sniffs up the tears threatening to spill and reaches into his jacket. He takes out the seven hundred dollars and change he’s managed to squirrel away after his last AZT prescription refill and holds it out to Billy. 

“What is this?” Billy looks at the wad like its poisoned, and well, he's not entirely wrong, it's certainly dirty money. But its still green. And that’s all the world runs on. And speaking of money, the man he was currently scheduled to suck off is honking at him from across the parking lot, eyeing Billy with violent intent. Eddie needed to move quick before this escalated. 

“I’m not coming back. T-To Hawkins, I mean. I can’t, so I need you to give this to Wayne for me. Can I trust you to get it to him?”

Billy finally takes the money, counts it, and then his jaw drops. 

“There’s over seven hundred dollars here Eddie.”

“I know,” Eddie sighs dejectedly. “It should have been more but,” but you got stupid and believed some pretty, coked-up twink instead of following your gut. And now you get to live with the weight of that decision, forever… “It doesn’t matter. Just, please make sure he gets it. It should cover the next few payments on the trailer.”

Billy looks at him for a long time. 

“What the hell have you been doing Munson?”

Eddie scoffs before the car horn across the street blares loud, startling him right out of his skin. 

“Nothing you want to know about. Just please make sure he gets it, and knows, I’m sorry. For all of it.”

Billy’s eyes lower suspiciously. 

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

Eddie shrugs.

“Because it has to be.” Eddie can’t feel anything below his neck anymore. The honk is starting up again. He’s really pushing his luck now. 

“Eddie, come on,” Hargrove begs and why does it sound like he’s actually pleading? Billy’s never had a nice word to say to him or Steve. And now he’s gone for what, a few weeks, and his enemy wants to become best friends? He doesn’t understand this plotline. He’s ready to get out of it. 

“I’m gotta go, Billy. Please, look out for Wayne.”

Eddie leaves the very next minute and sprints across the street, just narrowly avoiding being hit by the semi that blasts his horn.

[physalian]

What No One Tells You About Writing #7 —The Editing Edition

Today’s list is all about the post-draft process, as I slog through another round of it.

Part 6

Part 5

Part 4

1. No one cares about your book baby as much as you do

Trying to say this as objectively as possible, but it remains an ugly truth. Your WIP might very well be the most important project on your mind for months. Unless you have a significant other totally and completely invested in your writing journey, no one else will have the same priorities you do concerning your beta readers and editors. They all have their own lives and jobs to think about.

Whether it’s your editors not approaching your book with the same level of emotion as you do, or not working on your timetable as quickly as you’d want them to, your book’s biggest cheerleader will remain you, the author, and no one else. Doesn’t mean your book is bad, niche, or boring, it’s just not as special to anyone else as it is to you.

2. Your editors will have their arbitrary hills to die on

I have said this in other ways before, but editors aren’t robots (or at least they shouldn’t be), and we all have our own reasons for not liking books, and those reasons probably aren’t reflective of you as an author. You can have an editor with moral objections to some of your themes and characters, but who is still quite competent at critiquing pacing and flow.

Or one who just fundamentally dislikes a side character or a romantic subplot, while agreeing that it is well-written. Or one who does not agree with how a scene should be told, what elements it should include, what they deem offensive, etc. This is why it’s important to have as many eyes on it as you can for a full spectrum of opinions. One editor might hate a scene that five others love. You can’t please everyone.

3. This is where you will hate your own narrative the most

The amount of times you will read over the same lines of dialogue, the same jokes, the same introspective pining, the same gushy romantic scene, can be incredibly frustrating and demoralizing. You’ll second-guess yourself constantly. You’ll wonder if it really is that funny or that romantic or that compelling. You’ll convince yourself that it’s dumb or pedantic or pretentious and consider deleting entire scenes and characters.

When you’re neck-deep in cleaning up crutch words and fixing syntax and arguing with yourself over the placement of a period or a comma or whether or not to use “said” or a different verb, there’s not much fun to be had. Go slow, step away from the project when it gets too much, and come back with fresh eyes later. You do your book baby no favors editing with an attitude.

4. Your favorite elements will end up on the cutting room floor

This is why I think it's important to archive your deleted scenes. Some characters, important lines of dialogue, or themes and motifs get axed as a byproduct of deleting the scenes that contain them. You can either shuffle those beats around to other areas of your book, or save them for a later WIP, or a sequel.

Sometimes your book isn't what you thought it would be, and that doesn't make it any lesser for what it is.

5. However long you think it’s going to take, guess again

As mentioned above, no one works on your time table. Beta readers can be very hard to find as the definition of what beta reading looks like isn’t very set in stone. How I beta read is very different from the work delivered by some that I hire as we all have different elements that we focus on.

Some try to edit your book into a story they want to read, overriding your voice as an author. Some only give line-edit feedback where you’re looking for more big picture notes, or vice versa. Some give less feedback than you think the narrative warrants.

Some skip entire scenes and leave you unknowing if there was just nothing special to say about them. Some will miss important edits that later editors slap with valid criticisms. Some just quit, and you have to start over. Some will give you vague feedback, or contradictory feedback, or feedback that just isn’t helpful and you have to do your best with what’s been given to you.

Editing is a very long and tedious process and vetting editors can get mighty difficult when we all have our own stipulations for what we think a quality edit means. It costs a pretty penny, too, if you’re like me with WIPs that consistently top 100k words.

—

In the end, editing remains vital to any story, original or fanfic or otherwise, if you want it to be as successful as it can be. I don’t think there is a perfect, flawless narrative out there, even by the greats. You’ve already dedicated so much of your time and effort into your work, do it justice by giving it the TLC it deserves.

[skyfallscotland]

20 Questions for the Writers Tag Game!

I was tagged by @caeli0306

1. Total number of AO3 works

Nine!

2. Total AO3 word count 985,672! We're about to crack the mil, baby! And in just over a year, too 🥺💗

3. Fandoms I've written for

So many! But if we keep it to works currently posted: ACOTAR & The Empyrean series.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

Truth & TalonFear & FlameMacchiatoFurykeep quiet (nothing comes as easy as you)

5. Do I respond to comments?

Yes, always! I love receiving them, so replying is the least I can do 💗

6. What has the angstiest ending?

...Truth & Talon, actually...

No, I'm just kidding....mostly... 👁👄👁 I'm saying Dangerous Devotion. 7. What has the happiest ending?

Fury, I think.

8. Have I received hate?

Not recently/in the Empyrean fandom (unless you count people telling me they're disappointed with my choices, lol, shoutout to that one girl who was sad Remi wasn't a virgin!) but I have before for sure.

9. Do I write smut? And what kind?

Sure. What kind like...kinks? Praise kink? Cockwarming? What do you mean what kind? 😭 The hot kind 💗

10. Do I write crossovers?

I have before, but I don't have any currently published.

11. Have I ever had a fic stolen?

Multiple times, lol. she's an icon, she's a legend, and she is the moment.

Honestly though, please don't do this. It's not a nice feeling. It doesn't help you, either, or anyone else. Wouldn't you rather contribute something new to the fandom you're in? 12. Have I ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Some of my older Tolkien works were translated into Russian and I've had offers for Remi's Version, but I prefer that translations stay on AO3 (with very limited exceptions) which I suppose limits some people.

13. Have I ever co-written a fic?

I mean, most of my ideas are bounced off @justallihere and we throw dialogue/ideas back and forth so we'll give her... 12% of the credit for my next work. But no, I've never properly co-written anything. I feel like it would be weird, right? Unless you're writing a POV each?

14. What is my all time favorite ship?

Xaden Riorson/Remi Sorrengail 😌

15. A WIP I'll never finish?

I really hope to finish the things I've started so far. I have a few on the go, but the brain does what it wants. Tattoo-artist Xaden is sitting right on the edge there. I have 10k words of a scribe Violet AU that I might never pick up again, so let's say that.

16. Writing strengths?

Feelings, apparently. Lots of people tell me I make them cry, lmao.

17. Writing weaknesses?

Battles, action, fight scenes. I hate them. I hate them so much I'll write in storylines that change the canon universe so I can skip them completely. Ick.

18. Do I like foreign language dialogue?

I just write, for example, 'he said in Tyrrish' after the dialogue, I like that sort of thing, I think it's indicative enough without doing all italics and strange indicators like people used to back in the day, lol.

19. First fandom I wrote for?

Lord of the Rings. Very short lived. Was told it was "the worst fic I've ever read in my life" and that was that. I was maybe thirteen at the time 😌

20. Favorite fic I've written?

I cannot and will not pick a favourite child, but I will say Fury is very close to me. It got me back into writing and it came at a time in my life where I was really struggling and finding who I wanted to be and really changing my life. Without Tessa, there wouldn't be Remi 💗

I feel like everyone I know has already been tagged by someone, so I'll just open it to the floor for anyone who wants to participate 🤷‍♀️

[carawenfiction]

Will we have an update soon?

Tumblr won't let me make normal posts for some reason, so the update will have to be in form of an answer to this ask smh. Anyway:

Hey everyone!

This post is long overdue, I know. I’m really sorry to those who have been worried about my wellbeing, as well as those who have been waiting around for an update for so long.

I’ve put off writing here because this “update” is something I’ve been wrestling with for a long time. But I can’t keep going back and forth on it forever, which is why I’m now letting you all know that the Shadow Society is officially discontinued.

I know that this might not come as much of a surprise to anyone at this point. I’ve tried to salvage the story by remaking it into something I’m happy with through a rewrite. But I’ve rewritten the rewrite itself more than once, and no matter what I do, I’m just not happy with the result. Rewriting something that’s already published with all the coding it involves is a lot more tricky than I initially thought it would be.

This is not a case of me being needlessly harsh on myself, however; it’s simply a truth I’ve come to realize after struggling to find a way to keep going with the story. I’ll never be fully content with it, or even content enough, unless I’d be able to completely remake and rewrite everything from scratch – and consequentially, I will never find enough motivation to continue because of how unhappy I am with it.

I’ve seen some speculation about my reason for rewriting the story and my long absence, and that they’ve had to do with comparisons to other IFs (well, you know which one). This isn’t entirely the case. While the comparisons did happen and probably still do, and while they were discouraging in the beginning, I can definitely understand where people have been coming from when making them. I talked about this more in-depth in the forums right after the release of TSS.

The main reason for why I can’t continue is that it’s not a series I feel passionate enough about to work on. My tastes have changed, and so has my writing to some degree. I’ve tried to convince myself that I am passionate about it. It’s hard to admit that you’re not when it’s been in your head for so long, when you’ve tried for so long to make this work and when you know that one part is published and that some people are anticipating a continuation. But it had to be done sooner or later.

Other reasons:

-While I don’t think that my writing style has changed drastically, I feel like it is somewhat different from how I wrote back in 2018 (which is a GOOD thing). Whenever I tried working on the rewrite or second book and attempted to emulate the writing of TSS, it just didn’t sound right anymore, and that took a lot of fun out of it.

-With everything that has happened with CoG over the past few years, they are no longer a company I want to write for.

Please know that none of this has discouraged me from writing in general. I still love doing it. If anything, this has taught me a lot about what I actually want to write and the writing process in general. Whether I end up publishing anything else in the future or will simply do so for my own enjoyment we’ll just have to see, though.

I still have the idea of a shadow-like world in my head, and maybe it’s one I will revisit at some point. Maybe there will be another version of TSS someday, albeit very different from the original one.

But for now, I can only thank you all for the overwhelming love and support over the years, and apologize for any disappointment this has caused. If people are interested, I’d be happy to share parts of the rewrite and unused ideas. The Tumblr page will still stay up at least for some time, but I will probably not be answering any asks from here on out.

EDIT: Forgot to add, but if anyone wants a genuinely amazing IF read you should check out my friend's wip here: https://uroboros-if.tumblr.com/ ❤️ Play the demo here: https://mistyriousness.itch.io/uroboros

[averseunhinged]

it's wip wednesday again and i've been working on slogging my way through finishing things, one agonizing paragraph at a time. however! i think i finally unpacked the last of my notebooks and found this. idk when i'll get back to it. i have a pretty solid amount of it written, know where it's going and how it ends, but there's a middle bit i'm still not sure how to do.

it's canon divergence from the prom episode on, with klaus and caroline and silas's twisty machinations.

“How are you putting Shane in my head? It's, like, an illusion, right? And I'm the only one who can see it. So, you must be getting it from somewhere, but is that really him, or are you what my brain thinks an evil college professor would look like?” Caroline frowned as she thought back over the past months. “I don't think I met him.”

“No,” Silas said. “You do tend to have your own separate storyline, for better or worse.”

She blinked and reared her head back. “Excuse me?”

“Never mind. The hybrid is very fond of you. You weren't a player in my game until now, but your mind has a fascinating complexity.”

Caroline bared her teeth in a cruel parody of her pageant smile. “Please tell me you're not flirting with me by reading my mind. There is so much wrong with that, I can’t even begin to get into it, and I already have one morally bankrupt megalomaniac to manage. I do not need a second constant disappointment.”

“You're mean,” Silas said pleasantly with a quiet laugh. “In all those legends, they only ever spoke of my love’s sweetness and beauty, but a handmaiden wasn’t a servant. They were friends, companions–close as sisters. Qetsiyah had loved me from childhood, but my darling girl didn't care. She was greedy and wanted me for herself. She wanted me, eternity, and the world as well. I only want her. Stop worrying I'm going to be like Damon.”

“Not super-thrilled about you hanging out in my head.” She crosed her arms over her bodice, the beading digging into her skin and the corset constricting her ribcage.

“Are you super-thrilled about anything to do with me?” he asked with a surprising dry humor. “You don't give a damn about the cure. You never did. Don't deny it.” He held up one hand to quiet her when she tried to protest. “I'm in your head. I know your little, secret shames. The only thing that matters to you about any of this is the number of unnecessary deaths. No, I don't mean your witches.”

Silas moved to her, step by slow, even step. She would not move back, wouldn't show that much weakness, even if he could pluck the fear of the closeness of his body right out of her mind.

“I said secret shames. You wear the witches where everyone can see, because you think you’re supposed to. It's the others you hide. You're glad the hybrids are dead. They hurt you, stole away the boy you thought you loved. Plotted without your knowledge, because they didn’t trust you to agree to your hybrid's permanent incapacitation, and made you confront the envious, jealous, hateful beast he can be long before you were ready. And the council of fanatical imbeciles? You may have known them all your life, but it didn't stop them from hurting you. Do you have any idea what they planned for you? Experiments, Caroline. Supposedly to advance modern medicine, but in truth, humans love having an excuse to hurt something.

“It's certainly not the hunter boy I ate, because deep down inside, you know he got what was coming to him. Face it: it's your hybrid's brother and every last one of his line you mourn, because you might not be sweet, and you might not be kind, but you have a just heart. You know it was wrong. An entire line. Do you want a number? Do you want to know how many that boy and his sister murdered? No?”

Caroline tried to back away from him, his rapid-fire recitation chipping away at her bravery. He cupped his hands around her bare shoulders and held her in place in a gentle, but unyielding grip.

“Over seventeen thousand. That is the sort of atrocity a doppelganger is capable of, addled by a sire bond or not. Kol was prolific and his children followed suit. You wouldn't know the sort of vampires he created, but I have to admit, I think they were my favorites. He turned libertines. Actors and singers. Cyprians and courtesans. The makers of his favorite spirits. Particularly creative chefs. Like calls to like, of course, and when the time came, they sired more of their own. A line of hedonists who lived for a good time. For joy. For fun. All dead in the search for my prison. No wonder you contain so little sympathy for the Gilberts. You should have killed the girl when you had the chance."

She struggled against his hold in earnest. He gave her shoulders a fatherly pat and let her go, but her dress was heavy and awkward, and her heels weren't made for the uneven terrain of the woods.

"Whoops!" He steadied her when she tripped and nearly fell backwards, one hand around her upper arm, the other on her shoulder. "Sorry about the inappropriate apparel, but there's a time and place for everything."

"You couldn't have kidnapped me earlier, when I was wearing flats?" she complained.

"Afraid not. Like I said, it’s all about timing. I’ve had eons to plan. Don’t worry so much. Your disappearance has already been noticed.”

She didn’t want to admit how much of a relief it was to know she hadn’t been forgotten. Fury rising at her own pathetic, needy anxiety, she demanded, "Why are you being so nice to me? You've been terrorizing everyone for weeks! You made Klaus maul himself. I had to dig around in his back with pliers! And I know you were torturing him while you looked like me."

"Do you think you'd be happier if you were uglier, Caroline?" Silas asked conversationally, ignoring her question. "I know you wonder why people always want you, but they never, ever love you. You're clever, though. You've turned being underestimated into an art form."

Her mouth fell open in shock. "I have not! I'm not--it's not--"

"Manipulative? On purpose? I'm in your head," he reminded her. "You can be honest with me. It was so easy to get to him while I looked like you. Of course, that's not entirely your doing. The curse, killing his father, his mother pretending to love him, family no longer willing to endure his abuse. He's been turned around and tied in knots until he'd do nearly anything for a kind word from you. I cupped his face in your hands, and he nearly broke apart into pieces. So desperate for your gentle touch. Asleep and awake, he dreams of you. The fantasies that torment him the most aren't the ones of your body that make him take himself in hand." Silas leaned closer to her, nearly nose to nose. His borrowed brown eyes were dark and terrifying in their gentle, knowing sincerity. "He doesn't want to long for a life with you, of travel and family, home and love, but he does, Caroline. You can't fathom the atrocities he would commit in your name. The degradation he'd endure for your approval, for the blessing of the only god he knows."

"Let me go," she insisted, panicked and shrill. "Let me go!"

When he did, she pushed him back and bent over to unbuckle her shoes. It was a relief to drop them carelessly, even though her stockings would be ruined. She hadn't had any illusions about this being the perfect night she'd constructed for years, but it was destroyed beyond anything she could have planned for.

"I could help you with your hair," Silas offered. "You've barely noticed, but the pins are digging into your scalp."

She dropped her second shoe and stood up, clenching her hands into fists to stop their trembling. "Does that mean I'm not going to prom at all?"

"I can't be sure." He shrugged and admitted, "I don't think so, but I've been wrong before."

[ghostoffuturespast]

WIP Whenever

*takes a deep breath* Tagged by @streetkid-named-desire @wanderingaldecaldo (you two I think at least twice lol) @seeker-of-truth

@baublekute @scarlettspectra @aggravateddurian. Thank you all very much for thinking of me! 🧡

Tag backs for everyone above 😘 and @luvwich @merge-conflict @shimmer-like-agirl @mynonsenseistingling

@fly-amanitaa @dani-the-goblin @tarmac-rat @lavnderkiwi @morganlefaye79

Cash your tag in now or later and feel free to do whatever creative projects you're working on! Doesn't even have to be fandom related.

It's been a minute. This one got long.

I largely haven't been doing any fandom stuff other than VP because my work schedule has been insane the past two months. And the only reason I have VP to post is because I'm generous about snapping pics and the vast majority of photos y'all are seeing are ones I took back in March/April/May.

Things at work are starting to be slightly less hectic though, so hopefully I can get back into the swing of things. I'm trying to be gentle with myself about the time and energy I do have but it's been frustrating wanting to do things and not having the beans to do them. Spending most of my workdays outside for extended periods of time means I'm bone tired when I get home. And then I have more work to do outside...

Gardening

My garden is gonna be very scraggly looking for the rest of the year, but if I can keep it alive, in theory, the plants should come back bigger and bolder next year. Shortgrass prairie plants spend the bulk of their first few growing seasons establishing their root systems since water is often in short supply, so the tops of the plants are very unimpressive rn. Most of them probably won't get much bigger than this or even flower this year.

I've gotten a good chunk of the plants in the ground, have irrigation lines going to all of them, and did the lil concrete paver patio. I still need to finish planting the plants that have been languishing in their pots for over a month, bury the irrigation lines, and do a bunch of other random things, but we're getting there. Not planning on covering the bare dirt with mulch because I'm doing fall and spring seeding and I want the plants to self-sow. Going for wild pocket prairie and I'm gonna let it go absolutely feral. I'd eventually like to get rid of the river rocks too but baby steps.

What's really funny is all my native plants seem to be doing reasonable well. My vegetable garden on the other hand... It's sad. I know where I fucked up though (I should not have done that soil experiment lol and attack of the cutworm catepillars), so I'll just have to cut my loses this year and reevaluate for next. The worm composter is doing good though 🪱

Drawing

Attempting to get back into drawing. Again, it's been slow. Have been doodling some mutual's CP2077 OCs when I have the time and still have a ways to get through my list. I'm surprised by how much fan art of Grandpa I've received so I figured I'd return the favor for some folks. It's always a pleasant surprise getting some lovely art in your inbox. Probably won't be coloring most of these from here on out. I have a love hate relationship with coloring. Sorry, I just find lines more interesting. All of these were done with dip pen, ink, and watercolor.

I've got another more formal piece I need to work on as well and get done by the end of the month. Keep forgetting to do the layout sketches...

Writing

The slowest of them all. Been working on the same damn short fic (No. 1 of Les Preludes) and then brainstorming for about fifty other projects that are waiting their turn in line. Plus, I'm still trying to read too. But when I can only manage a chapter of a fic about every two weeks...

Most of my writing efforts have been bopping into my drafts now and then and pecking out a sentence or two. However, I did manage to spend 45 minutes detangling a section of about 200 words 🐢:

Have you or a loved one been in an accident or injured on the job?  Are you missing your former quality of life?  Holed up in the bathroom, Robert winced at his reflection in the mirror and at the crusted blood he picked at underneath his nostrils.  Then consider Arasaka Cybernetic Implants!  Fully functional prostheses are capable of replicating the full range of human motion and more!  Available in a range of sizes and styles to suit all your lifestyle needs.  The body of the future is NOW. The corners of his mouth tugged on a bruised eye and what former experience had taught him was a broken nose. Call 1-800-IMPLANT today for a free consultation! Low-interest financing and payment plans available. A rapid fire of unintelligible fine print was drowned out by the sputter of the faucet. Robert cupped his hands and scrubbed at his face, the pain disappearing for the briefest moments with the black of shut eyes and splashes of cold water.      Arasaka Corporation.  What can we do for you? Dry flecks of red decorated the sides of the sink before rehydrating into inky swirls of blood that slipped down the sides of imitation porcelain. Yellowed, cracked, and starting to chip. The plastic hadn’t aged well.

This snippet gives me the hardest war flashbacks to those late 90s/early 00s TV phone ads. Anyone else old enough to remember these things?

[littleladymab]

Out of Context Wip Poll

Thank you to @galauvant for tagging me! You can find hers over here, if you want to vote ;)

Rules: Pick a bunch of your WIPs and summarize them as badly as possible, then ask your followers to vote on which one they'd be most likely to read. Multiple/all/none options are completely optional.

i have more but honestly i can't figure out how to summarize them LMAO also there is ONE fic in here but i'm debating if i want to scrub off the serials and make it an original project

feel free to ask me about any of them ;)

Also i get to use my writing tag list for the first time so y'all can vote 🤗 please feel free to do this if you would like to!! @bottlingsound, @krisseycrystal, @rkmoon, @jadeoxfordrose, @sentfromwolves, @ybotter, @luukeskywalker, @scribble-dee-vee, @mysticstarlightduck (and a general open tag, since this works for OCs or fic!) (if you would like to be tagged on future writing memes, please feel free to comment here or send an ask!)

[affectionatelyrs]

WIP Wednesday

Hi friends! :) I haven't been very active recently, I know, but what's new? I would say that I've had a Day... but it's been more like a Week if we're going to be so honest. ANYWAY. The truth or dare love confession fic is coming along very nicely - I just have to do the... you know... *waves hands* writing thing

Thank you to everyone who tagged me today - @firenati0n @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @itsmaybitheway @wordsofhoneydew @ships-to-sail @getmehighonmagic @nocoastposts @magicandarchery @littlemisskittentoes and @kiwiana-writes

And extra tags for others who tagged me on Sunday since I missed it - @happiness-of-the-pursuit @anincompletelist @welcometololaland and @adreamareads

“You don’t…” Alex trails off, breaking eye contact, twisting the hem of his shirt instead of biting at his cuticles, June’s admonishing gaze whenever he does so a pestering presence in his mind’s eye. “You don’t actually have to keep it up. If you don’t want to.” Henry rolls his eyes, the action lacking any real malice. “It’s fine Alex, truly,” he says, reaching out to take his phone back. His hand lingers atop Alex’s for…a long time. So long, that Alex isn’t sure if he hallucinated the whole thing by the time Henry pulls away. If the fleeting brush of Henry’s thumb against his own was real or imagined. The phantom touch lingers on his skin all the same. “It’s…funny. I don’t mind.” Funny. Right. Because the post was just a dumb joke between friends, and there wasn’t actually any candor behind it. Why would Henry have thought otherwise?

Open tag because I want to see what all of y'all are working on, but I'm tagging a few people below the cut too

@anchoredarchangel @sherryvalli @dumbpeachjuice @daisymae-12 @gayrootvegetable @leojfitz @leaves-of-laurelin @lizzie-bennetdarcy @whimsymanaged @everwitch-magiks @read-and-write- @rmd-writes @tintagel-or-cockleshells @inexplicablymine @orchidscript @cultofsappho @cha-melodius @cricketnationrise @bigassbowlingballhead @myheartalivewrites and @matherines