#so much effort went into fully making it feel like the game was made as a pixel game

[goopyguy]

playin dark souls remastered for the first time and i accidentally kinda made joe biden

[sunflower-lilac42]

𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗱 ; 𝘭𝘩43 ୨୧

➪ summary: luke is all but tired when him and jack arrive home from a game, but luckily for him, y/n's there to help

➪ warnings: the one rags v. devils game where everyone decided to fight, tired luke. broken plate, luke thinking reader and jack is mad at him, hate comments, jack thinking he's a shitty big brother

➪ word count: 1.8k

➪ file type: fic - reupload

➪ sunny's notes: literally crying because i decided to edit this, negative feelings, and chicken noodle soup all in a row. i chose violence, be glad i'm not uploading them three days in a row. this was rough. but no i actually like how this fic turned out so yeah

© sunflower-lilac42 ; do not copy, repost, or translate my work and designs on any other website or here

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She had let herself into their apartment halfway through the second period. She had been watching from her dorm and when the first fight broke out, two seconds into the game, she knew the team was in for a wild night. As the game went on and they showed the bench and the players, she knew both her boyfriend and his brother were tired. 

That’s when she made the executive decision to “break in” to their apartment and make them dinner. She was grateful that their fridge was fully stocked and she didn’t have to run back out to the grocery store. She got to work quickly, making something easy but also filling for both of them. While spaghetti and meatballs weren’t any of their favorite meals, not that she was hungry anyway, she knew they would appreciate the effort nonetheless. 

When the game was over she sighed at the final score, after what they had been through tonight, they deserved the win. Worried about Luke and being one of only four defensemen on the ice, she looked to see how much time he was actually on the ice and was appalled when it read 32:49. She knew he had been tired these past few weeks, this team felt like it was on a never-ending cycle of bad luck. 

She was setting the plates down moments before they walked in the door, but when she was in the bathroom, that’s when she heard them. She heard the clatter of keys and shoes and walked out immediately. Luke was attempting to stand upright, slightly leaning on his older brother. Jack looked equally tired, attempting to support both him and Luke. 

She frowned as she made her way over to them, lightly grabbing onto Luke to lessen the weight on Jack’s body. He sighed in relief as he kicked his shoes off and made his way to sit down on the couch. Y/n stayed with Luke in the kitchen, walking him over to one of the chairs. With one hand she reached for his head and took the beanie he had been wearing off, using her other one to run her fingers through his damp curls. 

“Why don’t you go take a shower, both of you,” Jack whined from the couch while Luke just buried his head into her shoulder.

She felt like she could cry from the exhaustion they were displaying. She knew how they got, both of them. She had been dating Luke since their freshman year of high school. She knew the ins and outs of all three Hughes brothers if she was honest, never finding it weird or alarming. His family loved her, that she knew, but when Jack came home drunk one night and threw up on her shoes, she accepted her role in the family.

“Jack you first, come on.”

She continued running a hand through her boyfriend’s curls as she gazed at the older boy on the couch. He finally sat up, giving her an annoyed look, but she only rolled her eyes and pointed to the bathroom. She could keep Luke occupied for another 20 minutes, “Hi baby.”

Luke’s eyes were closed as his head laid on her shoulder, he mumbled something incoherently and he just sighed. She untangled her fingers from his hair and started to pull off his jacket, he whined at the loss of contact but allowed her to continue her actions. She took his jacket to his room and hung it up before walking back into the kitchen and checking on the pasta. 

Luke, despite being tired and his body being worn, he got up and made his way over to her in order to wrap his arms around her waist and dig his head into the crook of her neck, inhaling her fading scent. She smiled slightly, removing her one hand from the side of the pan to place on top of Luke’s, continuing to stir with the other. 

It was silent up until Jack came back, who plopped onto the chair his brother had previously sat in. She looked over at him and smiled, “Do you guys want to eat in the kitchen or in the living room? We could put a movie on?”

The two nodded and made their way over to the living room as she finished plating the food and bringing it over to them, placing the plates into their laps. They each let out simultaneous soft thank yous before eating. They chose a random movie and watched it as y/n cleaned the kitchen and finished doing some laundry that had been pushed to the side.  

She felt bad for both of them, both for different reasons but some the same. Mostly because of how the team was performing this year, the way that they couldn’t keep everyone off injured reserve. Yet, for Luke, it felt different. She felt more or less worried about him than bad for him. He had expectations to live up to, people to live up to, and she knew his mind all too well. She knew what he was thinking, that he wasn’t good enough.

And it wasn’t just him that thought that. They both knew about the tweets that were in response to people's comments under articles, the articles themselves about how Luke wasn’t as good as his brothers, wasn’t as good as he should be, wasn’t as good as people made him out to be. It was what Luke thought about the most.

There was clanging from the living room and then a crash. She immediately made her way out of the bedroom and looked in between Jack, who was still on the couch, the shattered plate on the floor, and Luke, who was standing in the hallway. His face looked conflicted but it morphed into one of fear and sadness. 

“Hey, hey, what happened?”

“I-” Luke couldn’t bring himself to talk, both terrified and still exhausted from the game. 

On the other hand, y/n’s face was calm and Jack’s face was sad with a hint of anger in his eyes. Anger towards John and Kevin for leaving the team with four defensemen, anger towards Travis for making Luke play that long, anger towards himself for not checking in on his brother enough, and anger towards the Rangers. 

“Luke, it’s okay. No one’s mad at you for dropping the plate.” Jack’s voice was soft as he stood up, slightly wobbling from his lack of balance. 

The younger boy only shook his head, reaching a hand out to lean against the wall. Y/n moved forward and wrapped her arms around Luke who then slowly sank to the ground. Her left hand was placed against his head, keeping it against her chest as her right arm wrapped around him. Luke started crying, soft sobs escaping his mouth.

She looked at Jack who took the hint to walk back into his bedroom. As soon as he left, Luke voiced his thoughts, “I’m tired. I’m so tired, y/n.”

The way his voice broke almost made her choke on a sob. She bit her lip to keep her tears at bay, refusing to let Luke know how she was feeling right now. She tangled her fingers in his hair, Luke allowing the movement to calm him down a little. His harsh sobs turned into soft sniffles in a matter of minutes. She was the only one who could soothe him like this besides his mom.

Lifting his head, he dug it back into the crook of her neck. She kissed his head and continued to run her fingers through his curls like she had done earlier, using her other hand to rub circles on his back. Ten minutes had passed and she looked over at the shattered glass a few feet away from her. Her legs had started to cramp from being in the position for so long and the added weight of Luke on them made it a little worse.

“How about you go take a shower while I clean the plate, okay?”

He pulled away from her and nodded his head slightly. She aided him in standing up and watched as he made his way to the bathroom to shower. Once the door closed, she made quick work of cleaning up the mess. After she was done, she went over and knocked on Jack’s bedroom door, “Hey.”

Jack snapped his head up in surprise, “Hi.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” 

“Jack, I’ve known you for 7 years. What’s wrong?” She sat on the edge of his bed, her hands underneath her. 

“I feel bad. I mean I was so excited for Luke to come to play with me but for some reason, I feel guilty. I don’t know. It just feels like I should do more for him. I didn’t want to bring up the comments, I see them too, you know.”

Her heart warmed at the words, at Jack being so worried about his little brother. She smiled a little before looking at him, “He loves you, Jack. More than you know. I cannot tell you the number of times he calls me and is like ‘Jack this’ and ‘Jack that’. You and Quinn are his idols, it’s hard to not notice that. He is so appreciative of you. And he knows there is nothing you can do about the comments that people make, it’s not your fault.”

Jack teared up a little but smiled at her, “Thank you.”

“Of course. Now come on, give me a hug.”

Jack leaned over from his spot on the bed and hugged her, “Can I say I love you or is that too weird?” 

“Considering, I am betting on you becoming my sister-in-law, it’s not weird. I love you too, y/n/n.”

She heard a door close from down the hall and she pulled away and waved goodbye to Jack, making her way to her boyfriend’s room. When she walked in, Luke was lying on his bed, cuddling a pillow on his phone. She smiled at him and walked over to sit down, “Hi baby.”

He looked up at her and for the first time that night, he smiled. He reached out for her and she made herself comfortable on the bed, Luke wrapping his arms around her. In that moment, Luke was so grateful for her and all that she had done for him not only tonight but in the past seven years. She had been there for him through everything and that meant the absolute world to him. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Luke. And I am so so so so proud of you for tonight.”

His smile was small but genuine, “Now go to bed.” 

She kissed his forehead and the two wasted no time in falling asleep.

𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗝𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗘𝗬 𝗗𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗟𝗦 𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧 ୨୧

@blakesbearsblog @toasttt11 @chiblackhawks @prettyjoseph @nicole01-23 @auriesphantom @pucks-goals-penalties @dancerbailey3 @quinnylouhughesx43 @petite-potato4 @thehuggybearslover @absolutelyhugh3s @kei943 @dyslecticdutchman

© sunflower-lilac42 ; do not copy, repost, or translate my work and designs on any other website or here

[radiance1]

Tucker finds a game installed on his pda one day.

He didn't know where it came from, nor what it was supposed to be and it looked more high quality than a few other games he's seen. So what did he do with it? Surely he should've not touched it and tried to delete it, right?

He wouldn't be apart of team phantom if he didn't also embody the "Fuck it we ball" energy.

So he plays it, finds it to be some dating sim based on the title screen and went through a good fair portion of it, it was fairly normal, if not really up his alleyway of games. But it had its moments though.

Then came Monika.

He didn't know what to do with her, in all honesty. She seemed to be a sapient Ai trapped in a dating sim, which was weird but not that weird compared to everything else in all honesty. She also killed off her friends, though her reasoning was because they weren't real and that it was the only way for her to have a romance route.

Kinda extra in his opinion, but he can see the reasoning.

So what does he do? Rummage around in the game's coding and makes a route for her.

(He swore he saw another pair of hands indirectly helping him when he did it, too.)

Monika was downright ecstatic when he was finished with it, he outlined a route for her but then she just took control of it, coding in events, mini-games, gifts and other sorts of things for her route. She thanked him immensely for outlining a route for her, since even with all of her control she couldn't directly go against core programming when it came to herself like that.

He was glad to help her out, really, she seemed like a pretty nice person, pushed outside of her core programming because of her sapience. He even coded Monika outside of the game and let her roam around in his pda, which accidentally added another layer of protection to his firewalls, but he isn't complaining.

Then she wondered how it would be like in the real world, with him and everyone else.

It really just went off from there.

Jack and Maddie are genius inventors, and now that they no longer have such a driving, blinding hatred towards ghost due to their son being revealed as a halfa, they no longer spend all of their time on ghost themed weapons and stuff.

So he went to them, showed them Monika (Which they were extremely impressed with) and decided to help him in building her a body! Probably also because they liked the challenge of building a body too, but meh.

Tucker drew up a design based on Monika's wishes, and tweaked it a bit here and there to ensure perfect human functionality.

Monika told Jack and Maddie that they didn't need to spend too much effort on it, since she would be fine with just a body, but Jack went no and they went all in. Did Tucker know what they were using to built her body? No, no he did not.

Apparently they made her body out of some rare metal they obtained from Vlad, who is trying very hard to redeem and put himself back in the Fenton's good graces after having some sense knocked into him, a rare metal called nth metal that Vlad apparently lost a lot trying to get, even had to use less then clean methods to get, but not anything he can't make back in a while.

Her blood was ectoplasm, with a fully functional heart made from the same metal and basically every other organs as well. Her brain was basically a supercomputer that'll let her connect to the internet whenever she wants, as well as allow her access to wifi from virtually wherever.

Her skin was made from another metal, one that imitated the feel and look of human skin, while also being more durable. They also added in features that'll simulate touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing as well!

Monika was honestly floored when she was downloaded into the body, it was much, much more than she had asked for and she didn't even know if she could repay them for it. To which Jack and Maddie just waved off because the chance to make a body from scratch out of a rare metal that was basically just gonna lie there for a sapient Ai wasn't one that would come often, so the experience was invaluable honestly!

Monika tried out everything she could after that, just happy to be among real people after becoming aware. She could finally be with her boyfriend, physically, no longer bound by a wall between them.

Then a while later, she may have accidentally hacked into what Tucker later told her was the Justice League Watchtower. It wasn't even her fault, she just wanted to hack into a nearby satellite, honest!

It's not like Tucker could talk, really. He's been hacking into the local government database for a while now, and why, it's not like he could do better, could he?

He saw a challenge when he saw one, and he should shy away from it because it was the Justice League.

But

So then the both of them competed to see who could hack into the Justice League database the fastest. A romance game Ai who grew sapience and got into the real world, versus a guy who's insanely smart and good at hacking who got her into the real world.

Of course it couldn't have been that easy, though, and really, it wouldn't have been a true challenge is they didn't engage in a cyber battle against the people they're hacking into, right?

Meanwhile, the Justice League is watching as Batman, Tim, and Oracle is fighting against two unknowns hacking into their database and having what is no doubt a cyber battle of such intensity they're wondering how the hell that keyboard is still standing against how fast their fingers are flying across it.

Some of them can swear they can see Batman release an aura of impressed, annoyed, and amused all at once.

[a-lexia11]

Closer to you

Ona Batlle x reader

Word count:3,7k

Warning:angst,jealousy

Summary: You and your childhood friend Ona had always been in love with each other, but the distance from playing for different clubs kept you apart. Now that you're both at Barcelona, can you finally be together?

Based on this request.

Note: Similar to my other Spanish footballer fics, the dialogue here is in Spanish (with translations) because I really enjoyed writing in Spanish!

When you first met Ona, you were both just kids joining a local youth football team in Spain.

The day was bright and sunny, with a gentle breeze carrying the fresh scent of cut grass and the palpable buzz of anticipation.

As newcomers to the team, you both felt a mix of nervousness and excitement. Ona’s boundless energy and infectious enthusiasm made her stand out immediately.

Her ability to turn even the toughest drills into something fun, with her laughter and encouragement, made the hard work feel effortless.

From the beginning, you were captivated by her passion and skill. Her determination to excel mirrored your own, but what you didn’t fully realize until later was how deeply you were drawn to her.

There was something about her that went beyond friendship, though you tried to ignore these feelings at first.

“¡Vamos, Y/N! ¡Muéstrales lo que puedes hacer!” Ona shouted, her voice brimming with excitement as you both raced across the field. (Come on, Y/N! Show them what you’ve got!)

Her enthusiasm was so compelling that you felt it propelling you forward, making every stride lighter and every sprint faster.

“¡Estoy en ello, Ona! ¡No me dejes atrás!” you called back with a grin, the wind whipping against your face. The rush of adrenaline made every effort worthwhile. (I’m on it, Ona! Don’t leave me behind!)

You realized that Ona’s encouragement gave you a sense of invincibility, and it was during these moments of shared excitement that you started to recognize your feelings for her.

The way her presence could turn a grueling practice into something enjoyable made you realize how much you wanted to be close to her, not just as a friend, but in a way that went beyond.

As you both progressed through the youth ranks, your friendship grew deeper. The shared experiences on the pitch and countless hours of training together strengthened your bond.

You celebrated each other's victories and supported each other through defeats, your connection deepening with every season that passed.

Although you played for different clubs in Spain—yours frequently changing as you sought various opportunities—your friendship remained a constant.

Ona’s transfer to Manchester United was a major milestone for her, and while it created even more physical distance, you made every effort to stay in touch.

Late-night calls and messages became a routine, filled with encouragement and updates on each other's games.

But as time went on, it became harder for you to hide your feelings.

You missed Ona more than you cared to admit, and every conversation with her left you longing for more.

The separation was tough, especially when the excitement of her new chapter in Manchester contrasted with your own experiences back in Spain.

Despite the miles between you, the bond you shared never wavered, but the distance made it clear that your feelings for her were growing stronger.

You often found yourself daydreaming about what it would be like if she were closer, if you could finally act on the feelings you’d been harboring for so long.

When you signed with Arsenal, it was a dream come true. The dynamic football scene in London and the thrill of playing for such a prestigious club were exhilarating.

Yet, amid the success, the joy of your achievements was tinged with a profound sense of longing for Ona.

Her absence was deeply felt, and every goal scored and every match won was a bittersweet reminder of the friend you wished could have shared those moments with you.

Her move to Barcelona brought a whirlwind of emotions. You were excited for Ona, recognizing how significant this move was for her career and personal growth. However, the reality of the distance between you felt almost unbearable.

The thought of her being so far away, combined with the growing intensity of your feelings, made every international break both a relief and a torment.

Seeing Ona during these brief periods only made you realize how much you missed her and how strong your feelings had become.

The physical distance was difficult, and it only served to highlight how much you wanted to be more than just friends with her.

The separation cast a long shadow over your shared victories, making it harder to reconcile your emotions and the reality of your lives.

——

Finally, the opportunity to join FC Barcelona presented itself, and it felt as if fate had conspired to bring you back to Spain and place you on the same team as Ona.

Your first day at Barcelona was a whirlwind of new faces and impressive facilities. The excitement of seeing Ona again was mixed with a flutter of nerves.

The familiarity of her presence was a comforting anchor amidst the newness of the environment, but the unspoken feelings you held for her were intense and all-consuming.

As you walked into the bustling locker room, you caught sight of Ona. Her eyes sparkled with recognition, and her face broke into a wide, genuine smile. She hurried over, her excitement palpable.

“¡Y/N, qué alegría verte aquí!” Ona exclaimed, her voice filled with warmth and enthusiasm. (Y/N, it’s such a joy to see you here!)

She wrapped you in a warm, tight hug, her embrace a blend of familiarity and comfort. The quick kiss on your cheek was both a greeting and a gesture of affection.

“También me alegra verte, Ona. No puedo creer que finalmente estemos jugando en el mismo equipo” you responded, your voice carrying a mix of exhilaration and nervousness. (It’s great to see you too, Ona. I can’t believe we’re finally playing for the same team)

You smiled broadly, trying to mask the flutter of emotions you felt at being so close to her again.

Ona’s face lit up with a bright smile, and she leaned in slightly, her curiosity and affection evident in her gaze.

“Sí, es como un sueño. Pero cuéntame, ¿cómo has estado?” she asked, her voice softening with genuine interest. (Yes, it feels like a dream. But tell me, how have you been?)

“He estado bien, solo adaptándome al nuevo entorno. Es genial estar de vuelta en España” you admitted, your heart swelling with warmth at her concern and the familiarity of the conversation.(I’ve been good, just adjusting to the new environment. It’s great to be back in Spain)

The conversation continued as you both caught up on each other’s lives. The banter and shared memories flowed effortlessly, but beneath the surface, the depth of your feelings for Ona was undeniable.

Every laugh, every touch, and every glance seemed to carry a weight of unspoken emotions, making the reunion both thrilling and deeply emotional.

The day went on with a mix of training sessions and introductions to new teammates, but the moments spent with Ona remained the highlight.

Her presence was a constant reminder of the past, and every interaction was colored by the intensity of your feelings for her, which you were trying to navigate in this new chapter of your lives.

——

As the days turned into weeks, the dynamics between you and Ona became more intricate. The initial excitement of being teammates was overshadowed by the growing intensity of your feelings for her.

You both spent time together off the field, catching up and talking about old times, but there was an undercurrent of tension that neither of you could ignore.

One evening, you found yourselves at a cozy café in Barcelona, a favorite spot you both used to visit. The ambiance was warm, with soft lighting and the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filling the air. As you sipped your drinks, Ona’s gaze grew distant, lost in thought.

“Recuerdo aquellos partidos en los que jugábamos juntas en la selección juvenil,” Ona said, her voice filled with nostalgia. “Era un tiempo tan diferente. Todo parecía más simple entonces.” (I remember those matches we used to play together in the youth national team. It was such a different time. Everything seemed simpler back then.)

You nodded, your mind drifting back to those carefree days. “Sí, esos días eran tan simples. La presión era menor, y todo se trataba solo de disfrutar el juego,” you replied, a hint of wistfulness in your tone. “Me alegra que estemos aquí ahora. Aunque, la verdad, es un poco extraño volver a estar juntas en el campo después de todo este tiempo.” (Yes, those days were so simple. The pressure was lower, and it was all about enjoying the game. I’m glad we’re here now. Although, honestly, it’s a bit strange to be back together on the field after all this time.)

Ona looked at you, a faint smile playing on her lips. “Sí, lo es. Pero también es increíble. Ver cómo hemos llegado hasta aquí, cada una con sus propios caminos y ahora, de nuevo juntas.” (Yes, it is. But it’s also amazing. Seeing how we’ve both come so far, each on our own paths and now, back together.)

There was a brief pause as you both considered how much had changed since your youth days. The silence between you was comfortable yet charged, as if both of you were grappling with unspoken feelings.

——

Your growing friendship with Patri soon began to stir up emotions in Ona.

As you and Patri bonded over shared interests and spent more time together, the change in Ona’s behavior became increasingly noticeable.

One afternoon, while you were at the training ground, Ona approached you with a strained smile.

“¿Cómo va la amistad con Patri?” Ona asked abruptly, her eyes narrowing slightly. (How’s your friendship with Patri going?)

You looked up from your post-training stretches, sensing the edge in her voice. “Patri and I are just friends. We’ve been spending a lot of time together because we share similar interests,” you replied, trying to keep your tone casual. (Patri and I are just friends. We’ve been hanging out a lot because we have similar interests.)

Ona’s smile tightened, and she nodded, though her expression remained guarded. “Sí, claro. Me alegra que te lleves bien con ella,” she said, forcing a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. (Yes, of course. I’m glad you get along with her.)

Despite Ona’s attempt to sound supportive, her attitude toward Patri became increasingly frosty. During training sessions, the tension was palpable.

Ona would barely acknowledge Patri, offering only brief, clipped responses. For example, when Patri asked her about a drill, Ona’s response was a curt, “Solo sigue las instrucciones.”(Just follow the instructions)

One afternoon, as you and Patri chatted by the sideline, Ona approached with visible irritation.

Grabbing your hand, she pulled you away from Patri, and you glanced back at Patri with an apologetic smile. “¿De verdad tienes que pasar tanto tiempo con Patri?” Ona asked sharply, her voice tinged with frustration. (Do you really need to spend so much time with Patri?)

You looked up, surprised by the hostility in her tone. “Solo estamos poniéndonos al día y hablando de fútbol.” you replied, trying to remain calm. (We’re just catching up and talking about football)

Ona's expression remained guarded. “Bueno, me parece que están pasando demasiado tiempo juntos,” she said coldly, avoiding eye contact and walking away (Well, it seems like you’re spending too much time together.)

The coldness didn’t stop with just Patri. Ona began to distance herself from you as well.

During team meetings, she would sit as far away as possible, and when you tried to engage her in conversation, she would offer brief, uninterested responses.

One evening, as you tried to chat with her about an upcoming match, Ona’s response was dismissive. “Estoy ocupada” she said curtly, cutting the conversation short and walking away. (I’m busy)

The warmth and camaraderie that once defined your interactions with Ona faded.

Her behavior created an uncomfortable distance, leaving you feeling uncertain about where you stood with her and why the change had come about.

——

Feeling the weight of sadness and uncertainty, you knew it was time to address the growing distance between you and Ona.

Summoning your courage, you arrived at her apartment and rang the doorbell. When Ona opened it, you stepped inside and immediately said, “We need to talk.” (Necesitamos hablar)

You walked into her living room, and Ona followed you, her face a mix of irritation and confusion. You could sense the tension hanging heavily in the air.

“¿Por qué me has estado evitando y actuando de manera tan distante?” you asked, your voice tinged with frustration. (Why have you been avoiding me and acting so distant?)

“No te estoy evitando“ Ona replied, her gaze fixed on the floor, unable to meet your eyes. (I’m not avoiding you)

“No me mientas. Puedo ver que algo te preocupa. ¿Es por Patri?”you inquired, hoping to hit at the heart of the issue. (Don’t lie to me. I can tell something is bothering you. Is it about Patri?)

Ona took a deep breath, clearly struggling with her emotions. “No es solo por Patri. Es... es complicado. He estado sintiendo cosas que no sé cómo manejar” she confessed, her voice trembling slightly. (It’s not just about Patri. It’s… it’s complicated. I’ve been feeling things that I don’t know how to handle)

“¿Qué tipo de cosas?”you asked, your heart racing as you tried to understand what was going on. (What kinds of things?)

Ona hesitated, biting her lip nervously. You took a step closer, trying to offer her comfort.

“Por favor, solo háblame”you said softly, your tone gentle and encouraging. (Please, just talk to me)

With a heavy sigh, Ona finally opened up. “He estado enamorada de ti durante un tiempo. Me duele verte pasar tanto tiempo con Patri. No quiero perderte” (I’ve been in love with you for a while now. It’s painful for me to see you spending so much time with Patri. I don’t want to lose you.)

The confession left you speechless. After years of confusion and unspoken feelings, Ona’s words were both surprising and relieving.

“Lo siento muc-” Ona began to apologize, but you interrupted her. (I’m so sor-)

“También estoy enamorada de ti”you said, looking directly into her eyes. (I’m in love with you too)

Ona’s expression shifted to one of shock and disbelief. “Que?” (What?)

“He estado enamorada de ti durante años, pero tenía miedo de decírtelo”you explained, feeling a mix of relief and vulnerability. (I’ve been in love with you for years, but I was too afraid to tell you)

“También tengo sentimientos por ti, Ona, y no me di cuenta de lo profundos que eran hasta ahora” you added, your emotions pouring out. (I have feelings for you too, Ona, and I didn’t realize how deep they were until now)

Ona’s face lit up with a radiant smile. She reached out and pulled you into a warm embrace.

You buried your face in the crook of her neck, and she tenderly ran her fingers through your hair, providing a comforting presence.

“¿Qué quieres hacer ahora?”you murmured softly against her neck. (What do you want to do now?)

“¿Qué te parece si comenzamos con una cita?” Ona suggested, gently pulling away to look into your eyes. (How about we start with a date?)

You smiled back at her, your heart swelling with happiness. “Me encantaría”you replied, nodding with genuine affection. (I’d love that)

“Por cierto, le debes una disculpa a Patri. Está completamente desconcertada con tus cambios de humor” I said with a grin. Ona laughed and shook her head. (By the way, you owe Patri an apology. She’s totally baffled by your mood swings)

——

The first date was modest but profoundly meaningful. Ona picked a cozy, intimate restaurant nestled in a quiet corner of Barcelona.

The ambiance was warm, with flickering candlelight casting a gentle glow on the rustic wooden tables.

As you both settled in, the soft strains of Spanish guitar music played in the background, setting a serene mood.

Over a meal of delicious local cuisine, you shared stories and reminisced about old times. The conversation flowed effortlessly, and for the first time in a long while, you felt completely at ease.

“Te he extrañado mucho durante estos años” Ona said, her eyes meeting yours with a mixture of longing and relief. “Verte solo durante los parones internacionales no era suficiente. Siempre sentí que había mucho más que quería compartir contigo” (I've missed you so much over these years, seeing you only during international breaks just wasn’t enough. I always felt like there was so much more I wanted to share with you.)

You reached across the table, gently touching her hand. “Yo también te he extrañado, Ona. Se siente irreal estar finalmente aquí contigo, tener este momento que ambos hemos deseado” (I’ve missed you too, Ona. It feels surreal to finally be here with you, to have this moment we’ve both longed for.)

Ona smiled, a hint of sadness and joy mingling in her expression. “Nunca imaginé que llegaría este día, pero ahora que está aquí, siento que todo está encajando” (I never imagined this day would come, but now that it’s here, it feels like everything is falling into place.)

As the evening progressed, your conversation grew increasingly intimate. You talked about your aspirations, the obstacles you’ve faced, and the simple pleasures that bring joy to your daily lives.

Each topic deepened your connection, and the warmth of your shared laughter made the night feel truly special.

After finishing a delicious meal, you and Ona strolled hand in hand through the enchanting streets of Barcelona.

The city’s illuminated façades and the gentle hum of nightlife created a dreamy atmosphere around you.

The closeness you felt with Ona was palpable; every touch, every glance felt charged with emotion.

The gentle breeze and the soft glow of street lamps seemed to enhance the magic of the moment.

With a playful glint in her eyes, Ona stopped and wrapped her arms around your waist, pulling you close.

Her breath tickled your ear as she whispered, “Entonces, ¿qué te parece si planeamos una segunda cita?” (So, how about planning a second date?)

You leaned into her embrace, savoring the closeness, and replied with a smile, ““Me encantaría más que nada.” (I’d love that more than anything)

——

The following dates were rich with moments of deep connection and intimacy. You explored art galleries, enjoyed peaceful strolls through the city, and spent cozy nights watching movies together.

Each experience brought you closer and solidified the bond between you.

One evening, after a particularly wonderful day, you found yourselves at Ona’s apartment for a movie night.

The atmosphere was warm and inviting, with soft lighting casting a gentle glow and a selection of your favorite films ready to play. As you nestled together on the couch, the closeness between you was palpable.

“¿Qué tal si vemos primero esta película? Ona suggested, choosing one of the movie you both cherished from your teenage years. (How about we watch this movie first?)

“Eso suena perfecto. He estado esperando esto toda la semana.” you replied, excitement and anticipation bubbling up inside you. (That sounds perfect. I’ve been looking forward to this all week)

As the night wore on, the space between you grew smaller. Your shoulders brushed, and the warmth of Ona’s body felt comforting.

With each shared laugh and whispered comment, the tension between you intensified. At one point, Ona turned to you, her gaze brimming with emotion.

“Y/N, hay algo que necesito decirte.”Ona began, her voice quivering slightly. (Y/N, there’s something I need to tell you)

“¿Qué es?” you asked, your heart racing in your chest. (What is it?)

“No puedo esperar más. Quiero que seas mi novia. Quiero hacerlo oficial.”Ona confessed, her eyes shining with hope and vulnerability. (I can’t wait any longer. I want you to be my girlfriend. I want to make this official)

The air was charged with anticipation. You leaned in, closing the distance between you, and pressed your lips to hers in a tender, lingering kiss.

After all these years, you finally feel the softness of her lips pressing against yours. The kiss starts tenderly, with her lips moving slowly, exploring the sweetness of the moment.

You both lean into it, savoring the closeness and the warmth, feeling a sense of deep connection.

The kiss deepens as you both become more lost in the moment, with a gentle caress that speaks of unspoken words and long-held emotions.

Each touch and lingering moment feels like it’s bridging the gap of time, bringing a profound sense of fulfillment and joy.

“Me encantaría,” you whispered as you pulled back slightly. (I would love that)

“Entonces, ¿somos oficiales ahora?” Ona asked, her smile radiant and filled with joy. (So, are we official now?)

“Sí, lo somos. Estoy realmente feliz.”you replied, overwhelmed with a deep sense of fulfillment and joy, before leaning in to kiss her once more. (Yes, we are. I’m truly happy)

——

Word of your relationship spread quickly throughout the team. Your teammates were excited and supportive, often poking fun at both of you for not being as discreet as you thought, joking that they'd known about your feelings for each other all along.

The strong camaraderie within the team made it easier to navigate this new chapter in your relationship.

“¡Felicidades, Y/N y Ona!” Claudia cheered, her voice full of enthusiasm. “¡Finalmente han hecho oficial lo que todos veíamos venir!” (Congratulations, Y/N and Ona! You’ve finally made official what we all saw coming!)

“Gracias, Claudia. Es un gran alivio que ya esté todo al descubierto ahora.”you replied, a mix of joy and relief in your voice. (Thanks, Claudia. It’s such a relief to have it out in the open now)

“Sí, todos hemos estado esperando este momento. ¡Ahora tendrán que aguantarnos todos los días!” Ona chimed in with a grin, pulling you into a warm hug. (Yeah, we’ve all been waiting for this moment. Now you’ll have to deal with us every day!)

The journey of exploring your relationship was filled with both challenges and rewards.

The love you shared with Ona was profound, and the support of your teammates made it easier to embrace this new chapter of your lives.

As you continued to build your relationship, the experiences you shared together only deepened your bond.

The moments of intimacy, the shared laughter, and the unwavering support for each other made your love story truly special.

You and Ona embraced the future with open hearts, ready to face whatever challenges and joys came your way.

FIN

[hedghost]

alessia russo | white lies

five secrets alessia could keep (and one she just couldn’t)

first-time post from a long-time lurker. i absolutely did not intend it to be this long, so i apologise, but i wanted to do the idea justice! feel free to give me thoughts or requests :)

word count: 6.6k

one

famously, alessia could have her blonde moments. the occasional blank stare when she missed the tail end of a question, a furrowed brow as the punchline of a joke flew over her head.

honestly it didn’t bother her; so what if people thought she was slow? she knew her own intelligence. certainly, on the pitch, it was evident that she wasn’t stupid. she could be funny, she knew things, she spoke well, and she always made sure to think before she spoke. although that was less about seeming measured, and more because, if there was one thing alessia did know, it was the value of a secret.

after a few years in the spotlight, alessia had learned the hard way that there were certain things that were just better left under wraps. some things the media or the fans shouldn’t know, and some things best kept between friends. she kept a long mental list of secrets for different people, collecting them, and keeping them clutched to her chest. alessia took a small pride in knowing she was the one people went to, the one person they could trust with their darkest secrets.

alessia mused over her list as she drove to the stadium before the next match. mentally laying each secret out in front of her like a prized collection, dusting them off, and storing them back inside. the first she knew would be brought up again today, knew it would take her usual efforts to make sure it remained a secret.

walking into the changing room, alessia only narrowly dodged a flying shinpad that went clattering into the doorframe. alessia’s quick reactions only really served to cause her to lose her footing, just to be caught by your steady hands.

“oops, sorry less! i was aiming for tooney,” you smiled sheepishly, your hands still firm around her waist. alessia swallowed.

“idiots,” she laughed. you let go and stalked over to grab the wayward shinpad. this time, your throw found it’s mark, hitting ella squarely in the forehead and causing the changing room to erupt into laughter.

this was no real deviation from the team’s usual pregame ritual. typically, you and ella, ever the jokers, would engage in some play-fight of slapstick-esque proportions, entertaining the team while they all got ready. this of course meant you two then had to scramble to get changed as the rest of the girls walked out onto the pitch. alessia, who was never really found without at least one of her two best friends, would wait behind with you as you tied your boots.

you always had a lot of nervous energy before games, and ella’s constant faffing and time wasting as she collected her boots, tied her hair up for the billionth time, checked her mascara etc., would, without fail, mean you’d end up leaving the two of them behind, only for them to jog out and join you with seconds. this was the ritual, and alessia liked it.

“fucking hell, ella stop fannying about!” you whined.

ella, as always, was the last to put her boots on. she was combing back flyaways in the mirror, in just her socks. you and alessia watched on, fully kitted out by now. alessia leant back against the door and smiled as she watched you try to hurry ella on. she'd been through this many times before.

alessia knew the routine. she knew you would leave in a second, and she knew ella would stop dithering immediately after you did. and then, as always, she would tie ella’s bootlaces for her, and they would catch you up.

this was the big secret. alessia, to be honest, didn’t see the big deal, but ella was insistent that no one could ever find out, not even you. and as silly as alessia thought it was, and as much as she hated not telling you things, this was her duty as secret keeper and she did it diligently.

it had started years ago, long before you had arrived and turned the duo into a trio. ella had been in a state before an away match, refusing to tell anyone what had her fretting so much. alessia had taken her to the side, and it had slipped out; she didn’t know how to tie her own laces. her dad had always been at games, always tied them tight as a last good luck measure. in a flash, alessia had knelt at ella’s feet, tying the boots without saying a word. then she’d taken ella’s hand, and pretended not to see her swipe at tears as they walked onto the pitch together.

ella had found her before the next game, shyly asking her to repeat the action. alessia had done it without question, and just like that, it became their thing.

alessia had tried, of course, countless times to teach ella how to do it herself, but she suspected at some point it had become more superstition that anything. alessia had tied ella's boots once, and she’d played well, so now alessia would tie her boots forever. even now that many players preferred to play with laceless boots, ella never wavered. she said she just preferred the look, but alessia (and only alessia) knew the truth.

alessia watched on as you got increasingly impatient with ella. she smirked as you rolled your eyes once again.

"come on ella, if we leave now you might be in time for the second half,"

alessia had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. you were cute when you were frustrated. ella ignored you, still checking her reflection in the mirror, completely unfazed.

as annoying as ella was being, you felt bad that alessia was always the one to stay and deal with ella's antics. you were determined to remain, if only to give alessia moral support. little did you know that meant it was you who was holding up proceedings.

alessia, however, had been through this many times before and was practiced in the art of secret-keeping, and therefore distraction. she had a few tactics up her sleeve yet.

she looked over to where you leant against the doorframe, and flashed you her sweetest smile.

"y/n? i think i left my gatorade in the shower room, could you go grab it for me?"

as always, those eyes made you putty in her hands, and you pushed yourself off from the wall to go and look. as soon as you turned your back, alessia was knelt at ella's feet, her nimble fingers moving with practiced ease as they followed the path they'd traced countless times before. she was standing again by the time you returned.

"there's no gatorade in there less, are you sure its not in here?"

she flashed you a sheepish smile, putting on her best ditzy blonde impression, "oops, its right here! sorry y/n,"

you shrugged in response. before you could tell her not to worry, ella cut you off. she had moved to walk out the door, yelling over her shoulder as she did so,

"come on, what are you waiting for?"

you watched after her in exasperated incredulity as she exited the room. alessia laughed brightly at your expression, slinging her arm around your shoulder and dragging you out to the field with her. ella's secret was safe for another day.

two

you and alessia settled in next to each other as you took your seats on the plane for the lionesses' next away game. the two of you had been thick as thieves for years, and you couldn’t deny that the thought of having alessia nearby had been a deciding factor in your recent transfer move. still, you treasured each quiet moment you spent in each other's company, as you had for years.

you and alessia hadn’t always been close. you’d known each other through the youth age groups of course, but your relationship only really went from acquaintances to close friends around the age of sixteen. sure, you loved your teammates and got on well with all of them, but you were a fairly shy teenager, keeping them at all at arms length, and often finding yourself only hanging around the edge of conversations.

alessia was a nostalgic person, and liked to reminisce often about the circumstances that had led to your close relationship.

when you were younger, seeing as how you typically kept to yourself, it was usually easy for you to sink into the background. although sometimes this was a point of insecurity, you relished the chance for solitude whenever it came to flights. you’d always been a particularly anxious flyer, and you appreciated that you could usually nab a seat at the back to yourself, allowing you to hide your panic.

usually you got away with it. usually, you could find a pair of seats to yourself, deal with the panic quietly and alone, saving yourself from embarrassment.

of course, at some point, your luck ran out.

“hey! mind if i sit here?” came a familiar voice. you looked up in surprise, but you knew whose bright blue eyes would be looking down at you well before your gaze found them. alessia gave you little time to respond before settling herself into the seat next to you with a sweet smile. you had no time to concoct some lame excuse. you could only nod, and accept your fate.

of course it was her. of course, out of anyone, it was the person who would be the sweetest about it, the most understanding. how embarrassing.

alessia didn’t seem to notice your internal panic, instead sweeping you up immediately into conversation. and for a while, it worked to distract you. you barely noticed take off, didn’t even flinch as your stomach dropped and ears popped, too enraptured in alessia’s bright conversation.

that is, until the first bout of turbulence. the plane rocked, and you stopped mid-sentence. mentally gathering yourself, you tried to calm down, managing to carry on as though nothing had happened. alessia didn’t seem to notice your plight. you’d got away with it. then the plane dropped again.

this time, alessia was quick to notice the way your breath caught, the way your arms held tight to the arm rests, the white knuckle grip you had on them. you vaguely heard her say something, but you couldn’t focus on her voice enough to comprehend. all you could do was try to regulate your breathing, stave off the panic long enough to preserve your dignity.

a gentle touch on your arm brought you back to reality, “y/n? are you okay?”

you tried to speak, to respond, but you couldn’t muster the words. you shut your eyes tight, trying to turn away from alessia.

“hey, hey,” she soothed, her hand over yours, “it’s okay, we’re safe, everything’s okay,”

you wanted to pretend it was all fine, but you were too far gone. you buried your head in your hands, tried to focus on alessia whispering to you to ‘breathe, just breathe’.

you don’t know how long you sat like that, her guiding you through blind panic with soft touches and gentle words. at some point, your hand found hers, and you clutched it like a lifeline as the plane rode out its last bits of turbulence.

eventually, your breathing returned to relative normal. you hesitated to look up and meet alessia’s eyes, instead burning holes into your clasped hands. you noted her perfectly done manicure, how the light caught each painted nail, how the soft skin of her fingertips felt caressing your calloused palms.

“you okay y/n?”

finally you tore your gaze away from her hands, only to be met with her eyes. you’d never noticed how strikingly blue they were. you nodded, swallowing harshly. you were sure she’d be able to feel your pulse rising in your joined hands, praying she’d chalk it up to your panicked episode, not something completely different.

“not a big fan of flying then?” she prompted.

“no, not exactly,” you laughed, mouth dry. as much as you hated to admit it, alessia’s presence had definitely calmed you. you were barely conscious of the fact you were still thousands of feet in the air.

“that’s okay, i’ll distract you,” you hoped you weren’t blushing . if only she knew, you thought, but alessia had already plowed on, chatting about god knows what to distract you.

she kept it up until you landed. as she stood up to exit the plane, she squeezed your hand and offered a small smile. she went to pull away, but you pulled her hand back,

“could you please not tell anyone about this?”

“course not,” she smiled “our secret.”

then she’d strolled off the plane as though she hadn’t just changed the course of your life.

from then on, alessia always managed to slip away from her other friends and wind up in the seat next to you. it had become a steady constant in your routines. you'd never had a bad flight since, and true to her word, alessia had never told a soul.

three

the perks of england camps were numerous. from the training, to the facilities, the matches, even the food, alessia enjoyed it all. arguably the best thing of all though, was the ample opportunities for downtime with the team.

alessia was nestled in between you and maya on a sofa, only half listening to leah and keira regale some embarrassing tale about georgia, involving a bad date and what sounded like a lot of alcohol. georgia was burying her head in her hands as the rest of the team dissolved into fits of giggles at the story. alessia laughed along, dropping her head to your shoulder as the conversation moved onto other player's poor tastes in partners and shitty date experiences.

"okay wait! lets all go around the circle and say our most embarrassing crushes!" alessia felt your shoulder stiffen underneath her at beth's suggestion, and she knew exactly why.

alessia herself had only found out by accident, stumbling in on you crying out the aftermath in the bathroom. she'd held you as you calmed down, before you made her swear not tell anyone.

the night had started out well enough. you both were at an 18th birthday party for one of your england teammates. you'd joked around with all the other girls, dancing and singing, and drinking probably a little too much. the alcohol would end up being a bad idea, especially for you.

the girl who's birthday it was had an older sister in her early twenties. aged 17 and a bit, you were absolutely infatuated with her. you'd met her a few times before at games and training, she was cool and collected, and you were obsessed. the fact she would be in attendance at the party had definitely been a factor in your outfit choices, and probably in the amount of alcohol you had downed with alessia and ella at pres.

the whole night long, you were hyper aware of her presence in the room. too shy to ever make a move, you stuck to longing glances and daydreamed fantasies.

your downfall was soon to come though, when one of the older girls suggested an innocent game of spin the bottle. most of you were well past tipsy at this point, and so you all agreed readily. you laughed as your teammates kissed each other one by one; the messy, inexperienced kind of kisses only drunk teenagers could perfect. soon enough it was your friend's sister's turn, and you couldn't help the prayers you mentally uttered.

you would decide later that whoever answered those prayers had a sick sense of humour. the bottle landed on you. you leant forward, trying to contain your excitement. it was only a peck, but to you it was fate and poetry rolled into one. the game continued on, but all you could think about was the feel of her lips against yours. soon, the game faded into non-existence, as people began to get distracted and get up to refill drinks or amuse themselves elsewhere. you saw your crush slip out into the garden, and instilled with misplaced confidence from the peck, you saw your opening.

stepping into the cool air, you were relieved to see she was alone. you approached, placing a shaking hand onto her arm.

"oh hey-" you cut her off, pressing your lips against hers. it barely lasted a moment, before she pushed you off, nothing short of disgust on her face.

"woah there! i'm not a fucking lesbian!" she turned on her heel and stalked back inside, only stopping to utter one last crushing remark, "and i don't kiss kids!"

to your teenage self, it was an earth-shattering rejection. you managed to make it to an empty bathroom before you broke down. your ears rang with her comments as your cursed your own stupidity. in your rush to be alone, you'd forgotten to lock the door, and you jumped when gentle hands wrapped you up into a hug.

alessia had been watching you all night. she'd seen the glances you cast over at your friend's sister, before she lost sight of you after the ill-fated game. that was until she saw you duck into a bathroom, cheeks red and head bowed. she'd followed in a heartbeat.

alessia's heart ached for you as you sobbed into her shoulder. the sting of rejection had worn off, leaving space only for pure embarrassment.

"i'm such a fucking idiot," you mumbled into her shoulder when the tears had stopped.

alessia pressed her lips to your hair, "no you aren't, don't be silly," she knew the pain of unrequited crushes all too well. she knew the way they consumed you, blinded you to sense. "shh, it'll be okay," she murmured, "don't cry, its okay,"

"oh god, i bet she's already told everyone how weird and gross i am. i can never show my face again,"

alessia laughed at your dramatics, "shall we go home?" she said, and you nodded wearily, "let's go,"

as it turned out, the girl hadn't told anyone, and you'd been in the clear. the secret stayed between you and alessia, the single witness to your most embarrassing night.

alessia knew you didn't want anyone to know about that, even now, six years later. she also knew you well enough to know that instead of coming up with an alternate answer to beth's question, you were likely frozen, reliving your embarrassment. she had to think fast to preserve your secret. everyone laughed as rach shamelessly announced her childhood crush on some celebrity she'd never heard of, and then everyone turned to you expectantly. alessia cleared her throat.

"pretty sure y/n used to fancy that woman off countdown," she lied, and the room erupted into laughter once again. thankful for lessi's quick save, you groaned and buried your head in your hands, going along with her white lie. crisis averted. alessia carried on, giving her own fake answer about a boy from school. a practiced lie. once the group's attention had passed on from the two of you, she felt you grab her hand. you squeezed her fingers in thanks, and she squeezed back. she was getting good at this lying business. anything for you, and your secrets.

four

alessia was widely regarded as an excellent friend; someone who could be depended on, completely and utterly trusted without question. alessia knew this, and held such compliments with high regard. she had long ago cemented her place as someone to be trusted within her circle, and therefore concentrated her efforts in keeping that reputation. she knew her friends just thought she was a good secret keeper because it was in her nature, that she was just a good person through and through.

alessia herself knew however, that the reason she placed such strong value on other people’s secrets was because she had been keeping one of her own for far, far longer than she had kept any of theirs.

it had first become apparent as a teenager. as she listened to her friends fawn over their latest male obsession, or regale their recent kisses with boys at parties, or debate who the hottest boy in class was. she tried her best to engage, to get involved, but with every boy who came close to kissing her, she was finding it harder and harder to force interest. eventually, she came to realise the way she felt about certain teammates, the way she'd avert her eyes in the changing room, the way her gaze followed pretty girls in the hallway, wasn't the norm. the realisation had hit her like a truck. alessia russo was gay, and she had no clue what to do about it.

she kept the feelings buried for a while. she faked attachments to boys, tried kissing a few just to throw her friends off the scent, before eventually she stopped bothering. she said she was too busy with football to date, and that remained her excuse. that didn't stop her falling head over heels for multiple girls over the years, didn't stop her heart fluttering whenever certain people looked her way. a certain someone.

eventually, especially playing women's football, a lot of her friends started to come out. alessia knew she could've done the same, knew she'd be met with no judgement, but it was as though there was a mental block stopping her. as outgoing as she was, she didn't enjoy opening herself up. and so, never one to wear her heart on her sleeve, she guarded the secret closely. months turned into years, and it became just something she did. she was too far gone to announce it now.

she knew she'd tell people at some point in her life, but why bother when there was no girl on her arm to show off?

and it wasn't like she hadn't come close. especially to you, who had been open about your sexuality for years. alessia couldn't count how many times she'd opened her mouth to tell you, only for the words to catch in her throat. it was almost as though she'd left it too late now, built it up in her head, and the moment just never seemed right.

she'd been with girls before of course. in dark corners at clubs where no one would see, fumbled kisses with strangers in bathrooms. but never anything deep, never the connection she ached for.

alessia listened as you complained to her about your recent date with the latest girl. 'a complete dead end', you described it, 'like talking to a brick wall,' you laid your head across her lap and shut your eyes.

"god, i wish the girls i dated were more like you less. then i'd actually have something to talk about with them," alessia swallowed, her fingers working their way through your hair. god, if only you knew.

five

being gay wasn't the only secret alessia held close to her chest. there was another, far worse, far more guarded. the secret that kept her awake at night, that spiked guilt deep in her stomach whenever you smiled at her. painful memories of that fateful night, which she wished more than anything you would remember.

it happened at the celebration party last summer. the lionesses had been victorious at the euros, and euphoria was running rampant amongst the whole team. everywhere you looked, people were drunk off elation. the drinks had started flowing in the changing rooms, and they had kept coming ever since.

the constant flow of people meant you and alessia had only spent passing moments together. every time you seemed to find each other in the crowd, someone new would turn up and pull one of you away, with ecstatic congratulations, or the promise of a drink.

in a brief break from dancing, alessia found herself sat at the bar with ella and a few others. she sipped her drink as the others chatted excitedly. recently, she'd been finding that her eyes sought you out unconsciously. more and more, she'd been realising that wherever you were in a room, she'd notice. tonight was no different. her gaze finally landed on you, carefree and dancing amongst a crowd of people.

usually, she had the sense to not stare for too long, but with her inhibitions hindered by the drinks, and her mood high off the back of the win, she allowed herself a moment of grace. the soft smile that crept onto her face as she looked longingly after you was unbidden, but she didn't care to look away. alessia was sure that if anyone followed her eyeline she'd be found out, but everyone was too wrapped up in their own elation to bother.

across the crowd, your eyes met hers. you grinned widely, before freeing yourself from the crowd just long enough to grab her hand and pull her onto the dance floor. emboldened by the alcohol, she let herself dance a little closer than she usually would, let the touches linger a little longer.

neither of you knew how long you danced, just riding the wave of the win for as long you could. alessia could tell you were equally as drunk as she was, if not more. eventually, you leaned closer to be heard over the music,

"come with me to get some air?" alessia could only nod, hyper aware of your breath on her cheek. she let herself be led away by you, into the cool summer air.

you all but collapsed onto a bench, laughing as you clumsily pulled alessia down with you. you leant into alessia, her arm finding its familiar place around your shoulders as you let the comfortable silence descend. it was the early hours of the morning by now. alessia could hear the thump of music and shouts of people from inside, but out here, you were completely alone. despite her lack of sobriety, she was hyper aware of the way your body felt against hers.

"what a night hey," you laughed, and she nodded. "we fucking did it less!"

"champions of europe baby!" you yelled into the night, making alessia laugh and slap your arm.

you smiled, leaning back into alessia, "proud of you lessi" you whispered. when she didn't respond, you shifted to look at her.

"i'm serious less. i'm so proud of you. proud of us."

alessia couldn't find the words to respond. she could only think about how close your face was to hers. you smiled softly, and she smiled back. her eyes never left yours. you seemed to be breathing in sync. it was now or never. the alcohol spurring her on, alessia began to speak,

"y/n, i-"

she was cut off by you leaning in to close the gap. her eyes fluttered shut as your lips grazed hers, and she melted into the kiss. you pulled back to assess her reaction, but alessia barely gave you a second to breathe before she kissed you again. alessia poured all the years of pining, every pent up emotion into that kiss, and you gave her everything and more back. her brain short-circuited as your hand went to caress her cheek, her own hands fumbling clumsily to wrap around your waist.

at some point, one of you broke away. you pressed your forehead to hers, "we should probably get back to the party," alessia nodded. she was caught in a haze of euphoria. she would've done anything you asked in that moment; would've chased you to the moon and back. you smiled, before pressing your lips to her forehead and pulling her to her feet.

alessia would've liked to stay attached to your hip all night, but as soon as you re-entered the party you were both swept away by your respective friends, and she was left staring after you. the rest of the night was a blur, but alessia had truly never been happier.

alessia woke the next morning to the memory of your lips against hers. her head pounded with the hangover as she dragged herself out of bed and over to your room next door. it was customary for the two of you to end up in each others rooms after a heavy night to discuss the events and ride out the hangover together, but today, her heart pounded as she knocked on your door. she wasn't sure what the events of last night meant for your friendship, but she was running through various speeches and declarations as she waited.

eventually you cracked the door open, peering out at alessia with bleary eyes. "morning," you whispered with a smile, opening the door fully for alessia before collapsing back into your bed.

alessia followed you in, mouth dry and heart pounding as she perched next to you on the bed. she decided to let you take the lead with the conversation, though she ached to bring up the kiss.

"god, what even happened last night," you moaned from the covers, "i don't remember a thing,"

alessia's heart dropped to her stomach. "you don't remember anything?" she asked. you looked up at her curiously.

"i mean, i remember dancing, and then, literally nothing," your eyes widened, "oh god, did i do something embarrassing? lessi, please say i didn't."

alessia forced a smile onto her face, forced herself to push down the emotions coursing through her veins, "no, you didn't do anything," she forced herself to settle further into your bed.

"nothing at all,"

plus one she couldn't

after the euros, and the ensuing heartache, alessia had tried to distance herself from you. she'd lasted all of a week of subdued contact before you'd pulled her back in again. she couldn't resist you or your company, utterly powerless to do anything but come running back to your side like a lost puppy. you didn't even have time to notice something was up.

and so alessia settled back into your orbit, and tried unsuccessfully to get over you. despite how you'd acted that night, you once again gave her no indication of seeing her as anything more than a best friend, and so she tried her best to see you the same. she longed to bring up the kiss, to do anything to remind you, but your clear lack of memory told her that it hadn't meant anything to you.

playing together for club and country, you spent nearly all your days together. alessia spent each of those days in silent turmoil. her heart would pound with each innocent touch, her brain would malfunction every time you flashed her a smile. only at night, in the quiet of her room, would she allow herself to feel. she'd stare at the ceiling into the early hours of the morning, replaying each encounter, eyes glistening with unshed tears. she envied you for not remembering the kiss. god how she wished she could forget it. it replayed behind her eyelids every time she blinked: she felt the brush of your lips against hers every time she glanced down at your mouth as you spoke.

since it became apparent that it couldn't have meant anything to you, she'd done her best to get over you. but now that she'd experienced it, she could never go back. her love for you had swelled to the point of utter consumption, and she couldn't even begin to remember what it felt like to see you only as a friend.

being as experienced in the art of secret keeping as she was, she'd managed to keep you in the dark, but it was getting harder and harder to act like everything was okay. whilst you remained clueless to her plight, other people were starting to notice.

alessia was finally caught out after a particularly bad day. training had been rough, the weather was awful, and the stress and emotion of it all was starting to become too much for her. her heart ached for you every time you laughed. every time you called her name it was like a stab to the chest. she winced as she felt the beginnings of a headache, desperate to leave the training ground and crawl into bed as soon as she could.

noticing something was wrong, you'd rubbed her back and pulled her in for a hug.

"you okay less? headache?" you'd murmured, trying to meet her eyes. normally she revelled in how well you could read her, but right now, she hated it. she could only nod in response. you reached a gentle hand up to touch her forehead, "are you coming down with something?"

alessia wanted so badly to relax into your familiar embrace and sink into the comfort she craved, but she pulled away, ignoring your question and mumbling a lame excuse about getting home, before speeding to her car.

hearing someone chase after her, she steeled herself to face you again. instead, when she turned, she was met with ella.

"lessi, what's wrong?"

"nothing, ella, it's just been a long day," she sighed. she turned to get into her car, but ella blocked her path.

"don't bullshit me lessi, i know you. you think i haven't noticed how weird you've been acting lately?"

the confrontation was too much. alessia could feel tears begin to prick at the corner of her eyes, and she knew there was no escaping it.

"not here," she mumbled, opening the car door and motioning ella to get into the other side. she barely gave ella time to sit down before she drove off, only making it to the end of the road before the tears started flowing. she pulled over and buried her head in her hands.

ella didn't seem to know what to do, clearly she hadn't expected alessia to do this. her shock was only momentary though, and her hand reached out to stroke alessia's back.

"hey, hey, its okay, less, its okay. talk to me,"

alessia could only shake her head against her hands.

"i can't do this anymore ella, i just can't,"

ella just rubbed her arm, clueless to what she was talking about. in ella's presence, she let her facade fall apart a little.

"it's so stupid, i'm so stupid."

"is this about y/n?"

alessia whipped her head up to look at ella, who smiled wryly.

"you aren't very good at hiding it less,"

"fuck, i just-" she pressed her head into her hands again. "it's so embarrassing. i just don't know what to do. i can't keep doing this, it just- it hurts,"

"i think you need to tell her,"

"that's the worst possible solution to this ella,"

ella smiled again and raised an eyebrow, "i wouldn't be so sure,"

"you're an idiot, and your advice is awful," alessia muttered. she breathed deeply, collecting herself, before starting the car again, "i'm dropping you home, and we're forgetting this conversation ever happened,"

"whatever you say, less," said ella, smirking as she leant back in her seat, "whatever you say,"

despite her best efforts, the conversation with ella stuck in alessia's mind all week. even you were starting to notice how distracted she was being, and you brought it up one night, as you lay sprawled in your usual position on her sofa.

"have you been avoiding me lessi?" you joked, but alessia caught the flash of doubt in your eyes. she mentally cursed herself, once for not hiding it well enough, and then again for making you feel guilty about it. she decided she could only attempt to laugh it off.

"what are you talking about? we've literally been together all day."

"no, yeah i know, but you just seem, i don't know, distracted? closed off," alessia felt your head turn to look up at her, but she kept her own gaze firmly planted on the tv screen.

"i'm fine. just tired. its been a long week," she knew as soon as she said it that you'd see right through the flimsy excuses.

"well okay, but, you know you can always talk to me, yeah? if there was something bothering you?" your voice trailed off. alessia swallowed harshly. when she spoke, her voice was barely a whisper.

"i can't,"

at this, your full attention was on her, the tv long forgotten. alessia felt sick at her own barely there confession.

"lessi, come on. you can tell me anything. i'm your best friend,"

that was the last straw. best friend, she reminded herself. any hope alessia still had of preserving her dignity flew out the window, and she had to press her lips together to keep from crumbling. you saw her falter, and you sat up in a heartbeat, your hands taking hers. alessia tried to pull away, but the grip you had on her was magnetic.

"y/n, i-" she bit her lip, shaking her head and looking away. if she spoke she'd say something she'd regret. the confession was on the tip of her tongue, just begging to be let out. alessia resolved herself, mentally replaced the confession with another white lie. but then she looked up, and her eyes met yours. god, those eyes. alessia was taken back to the night of the kiss, when she'd been enraptured in those same eyes; when she'd looked into them to find the brazen reflection of her own adoration.

it was all she could do to look away. she felt her mouth move, heard her own voice as though from a distance, speaking completely unbidden.

"i'm in love with you,"

they were the truest words she'd ever uttered, but god how she wished she could take them back. her brain raced with excuses, but she could only whisper disconnected thoughts and jumbled apologies. she regained just enough control over her words, but the damage was done.

"i know you don't feel the same - i'm sorry - i didn't want to make it weird - i'm sorry - please don't let this ruin us - i'm sorry."

alessia didn't dare look at you; your silence was indication enough. however, as always, alessia could never stay away from you for too long. as she braved one glance up, her words fell away from her.

you stared back at her, looking at her as though she'd hung the moon and all the stars.

"alessia," you whispered her name like a prayer on your tongue, "you have no idea how long i've wanted to hear you say that,"

years of pining, of heartache, of sleepless nights and longing glances, had not prepared alessia for this outcome. she stared at you, frozen in shock. all the fight, all the panic, had abandoned her, and she could only stare.

you leaned in, and she let herself fall into the kiss. she'd thought nothing could've been better than the first, but my god was she wrong. with one touch, you silenced all her doubts. you poured out the answer to every question she had. the two of you curled impossibly closer into each other, until alessia wasn't sure how you could've ever been separate.

you smiled against her lips, eyes blissfully remaining shut.

"why didn't you tell me sooner?"

alessia shrugged shyly, "it was a secret," you pulled away fully, eyes searching deep into hers.

"not anymore," you said, and alessia flashed a bright smile. your heart flipped at the sight.

"no," she murmured, "never again."

thanks for reading! hope you enjoyed :)

[arkus-rhapsode]

So wasn't expecting to make this Gaming Hot Take of the day but after reading this from Sony CFO Hiroki Totoki I gotta be honest I had to write something

So look, I can kinda understand this stance in a very retrospective sense as he says "Fostered from the beginning." Playstation 1 in particular didn't really make a big distinction between its original IP and its Third Party IP. It's why you had Crash Bandicoot or Cloud Strife as basically the mascot of Playstation when both come from third parties. Compared to the likes of Mario and Sonic who were not only their console mascot, but company mascots respectively.

But by now, Playstation has an undeniable back catalogue of first and second IP that it can either revive or rerelease if need be. Like if we're looking at like multi entry series and not just one offs, by the PS2, Sony had:

Jak & Daxter

Twisted Metal

Ape Escape

Sly Cooper

MediEvil

Wild Arms

Dark Cloud

Everybody's Golf

God of War

Rachet and Clank

And by the PS3 we have

Infamous

Uncharted

Killzone

Resistance

Little Big Planet

Like Sony has their own catalogue that can stand on its own. Its not like they should be struggling now to play catch up.

Now if you read my recent Emio and Mages post, I am very well aware that in the age of modern gaming, a game doesn't get made without a team devoted to it. And with the rising production and time costs of making games, no company can release a hundred games and be profitable. So sadly some IP just do fall by the wayside in favor of others. Guerrilla Games isn't making Killzone anymore, because their efforts are spent on Horizon and Sucker Punch went from being the Sly Cooper guys to the Infamous guys, to now the Ghosts of Tsushima guys.

However, I feel like Sony has had some circumstances that compound this problem. Sony and Playstation are technically powerful machines-they want to fully utilize the hardware they're selling you for hundreds of dollars. It is their brand. However, the downside to this is because of this the rise in production costs, it's now taking much longer to make games that make use of the powerful hardware. We went from being able to release a full trilogy in a single generation to basically one. Its also made worse by the fact that Sony has been very active in shuttering studios and cutting costs. The biggest would be the loss of Sony Japan Studio, who were beloved for their more varied Japanese-y style games. It added flavor to the more Naughty Dog inspired games of the sixth and seventh generation. But now, Sony went all in on being that one big budget release that leaned more towards broader genres that could maximize the amount of sales like Uncharted, The Last of Us, Spider-Man, etc.

With this, a lot of mismanagement, its really made the PS5 era feel very sparse compared to the PS4. Now, I wanna stress this, I actually do not subscribe to the mentality "Playstation has no games." Playstation has tons of games beyond just their first party titles, some are exclusive like Final Fantasy 16, some are just way too powerful to be something that could be played on a switch like GTAV. Heck, I played Bomb Rush Cyberfunk on my PS5 and it's probably the game I've dumped the most time into this year. So yes, even if Playstation's first party offerings are few and far between, you're still capable of playing a lot of good games on this really expensive plastic box.

And maybe that's indicative of the fact that Playstation has always been about selling you the hardware on the basis of the hardware. Going back to the PS1, the main selling points was this was the haven for third parties after Nintendo really burned a lot of developers with the N64, and that this was a much more system than the N64. When you look at someone like Nintendo now, they're hardware is underpowered they live and die by the power of their software that only they can provide and no one else. But the playstation even if its not shooting out a new Jax & Daxter every year, they're still the place you can play something like Final Fantasy or Elden Ring at a really great clip. Perhaps Totoki was alluding to that reliance on hardware instead of software because in retrospect, they never really had that big homegrown system seller on playstation till the PS2 with things like God of War. And now fostering that, has made it hard to have that sort of Zelda or Halo that are so undeniably their companies IP and will move launch units.

But a reliance on just being the place where you can play games at a high fidelity, means that its still got competition from Xbox and PC. So Sony would have to offer a service the others don't and that can be software you find nowhere else. True story, I was genuinely conflicted about getting a PS5 or and Xbox X/S for my birthday because I knew I needed to at least have a strong machine to play with my switch. And ultimately I took PS5 because that was the console that would have God of War Ragnarok and Spider-Man 2. So yes, IP absolutely factors into purchases in my experience. And the fact that this generation Sony has really struggled to put out first party games, really makes that purchase factor feel so much thinner and thinner. When you know-you know Sony has loads of IP (Some that haven't left their respective console) that even a simple remaster on the PS5 could at least hold people over in-between their AAA releases. So to hear their CFO say that they don't have enough IP, gets very disingenuous.

To close this out, I wanna stress something. I don't think wanting to make new IP is a bad thing. Im glad Sony is willing to invest 8 years and millions of dollars into something new. But eventually, we reach a point where this has to be better managed. We have to have some smaller titles that can be released between the bigger ones. We gotta have some variation in the types of games we're getting from the platform holder. And sometimes leaning in on those fan faves for smaller titles would help. Are they gonna sell 10 million units? More than likely not. But if you balance the budget, having something move between 1-2 million units would be acceptable. Perhaps maybe allow more second party developers a crack at using that IP so your internal teams can work on the bigger blockbuster titles?

The PS5 generation has been a pretty all over the map one for Sony, and the more we learn about the thoughts and management behind the scenes, the more aggravating it can become when this platform does something really cool, but then seems to take two steps back. I genuinely can't tell you if I'll get a PS6. But if I do, it will probably not be out of optimism for classic Playstation franchises to return.

[brighter-by-the-daly]

Ruesha Littlejohn x Reader

You Ruined Love for Me

Part of the Beth McCarthy mini song series

If You Loved Me Right

If you didn't lie to me

Tell me you'd die for me

Break every promise

If you were honest

I wouldn't be crazy

If you didn't call me names

If you didn't try to change

Every part of me

Every part of me you hate, I

Know that if you loved me right

I wouldn't be crazy

On the plane to Australia you were catching up with the latest Ruetube, they always make you laugh and couldn’t wait to see if you had made this week’s cut. Midway through, you could tell your bestie wasn’t her usual happy and crazy self; she seemed distant and the sparkle in her eyes had faded. Always the light of the party and the clown of the locker room Ruesha had the power to make anyone belly laugh their way into next week. You could be having the worst day of your life but could guarantee Rue would change that with a single sentence. You never had to tell her you were having a bad day, she could always just sense it and would do everything she could to try and cheer you up. She was everyone’s pick-me-up and none of you had noticed how sad she truly was lately. She’d been painting on a brave face every day of training but the camera doesn’t lie - the despair in her eyes was undeniable. That’s why watching her online made you feel so guilty, you knew she was going through a tough time with the break up and being released from Villa but missed the sadness behind the mask she paints on every single day.

Looking behind to spot Rue a few rows back as she made her way through the aisle pretending to be an air hostess, singing Busted as she went, most would be fooled to think she was truly happy. You knew how much she had been worrying that she wouldn’t make the squad. You knew her break up with Katie was messy and that she didn’t get a choice about leaving Villa. Everything she’d known for years had gone. Disappeared. Her life had been turned upside down and you just hadn’t noticed how much it had taken a toll on her until you watched it back on the laptop. She may be laughing and joking behind you but it’s all pretend.

“Oh hello madam, may I offer you a refreshing beverage?” Rue tapped on your shoulder sounding exactly like Mrs Doubtfire. Entertaining her efforts as she served your drink but ignored Katie who was in the row opposite - you can hardly blame her! Everything had come at such a shit time for her and when she finally slumped back down in her seat, it didn’t take her long to put on her headphones and pull the hoodie over her eyes. Unable to watch her combust any longer you made yourself known by dropping hard into the empty seat next to her. She’d purposely stationed herself in the empty back row, moving from the seat in front of Katie before take off. Nudging her hood back to spy who had invaded her space to see it was you and immediately forced a smile back on to her face. “Wanna watch a movie?” your voice perky, “I’m not really in the mood (y/n/n)” your friend grumbled behind the jumper covering her mouth. “Okay..” thinking of another approach, “I have cards? Entertain an old lady would ya?” nudging her gently as she laughed a little at your statement. “I’m older than you ya cheeky hen, whats that make me?!” snatching the cards out of your hand to shuffle them.

A few games in, Rue finally took the bait and started talking. Just as you expected, life had just got a bit too much for her lately and putting on a front had become tiring. Determined to not let her be sad the entire tournament and knowing you were underdogs with this being Ireland’s first time at a World Cup, she should be enjoying it. So you decided to make it your mission to drag her through the shit and into the light so she could fully appreciate her first time in Australia and at a major tournament, knowing it would most likely be her last chance too. “I’m so glad you made it mate, I couldn’t imagine doing this without you” trying your best to make sure she knows how much the team love her. “Very nearly didn’t come, didn’t know if I could face that for weeks” gesturing towards Katie with her eyes. “But Shebhan convinced me, said I would never forgive myself if I stayed home” her eyes never faltered from the cards in her hand. “Well I’m glad I’ve got my best friend here” nudging her shoulder as you slapped down the winning card. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right? Sometimes the person who makes sure everyone’s okay needs someone to ensure she’s okay?” Rue nodded as she as shared out the cards again. Playing non stop for a few hours she shared her worries of not knowing how she’s going to cope being stuck with Katie for so long, at home she can escape but here she’s got to see her ex every single day. She was also hoping to be picked up before coming away but nobody had enquired about her and made the prospect of retiring suddenly more real. She didn’t know what she would do next but you told her you would pay a hell of a lot of money to hear her commentating and you’re sure others would too!

Once you’d arrived at the hotel you made sure Rue was your roommate so you could stabilise her mood and bring back a spark of joy we’re so used to seeing. You thought it was working but when the day of your first game came you could tell she was on the war path - snapping at everyone and losing it over the littlest things. You hadn’t put two and two together until you were in the tunnel stood across from Australia, noticing Caitlin Foord directly opposite Ruesha, suddenly everything made sense. As your eyes burned into the back of Rue’s head who was burning holes into her rival’s - on the pitch and off, you could tell by her stance she was angry. Echoes of Rue’s voice shouting for Ireland bounced around in the metal tunnel, bangs on the side rippling through the line up. By this point it was too late to address her as you walked out with your team, grabbing her after group photos to ask if she was okay. “Yeah why wouldn’t I be?” she replied in loud arrogance. You knew this was going to be a looong 90 minutes.

———-

Shoving Rue back into the locker room Katie was in her face and not letting up as she screamed at her that she was psycho. Laying into her ex for ignoring her new girlfriend in the line up and lashing out after the game. There’s a lot Rue did wrong but she played a superb game regardless, she hadn’t played 90 minutes in ages and it didn’t show for a second. Noticing Rue was about to blow you put yourself between the two exes just like you did on the pitch with Caitlin. You knew Rue was gonna boil over and being the nearest to her, you had to pull her away.. And here we are - a screaming match after our first ever World Cup game.. it certainly leaves a lot to be desired for the rest of the tournament! Being only one person in the middle of two very passionate people right now, it didn’t take them long to simply walk around you. Every time you moved between them they just swerved your body to face each other again. Two Irish women screaming at each other made your ears ring. “If you were a decent human being I wouldn’t be fucking crazy would I!” Rue shouted literally through you towards Katie. “You tried to change everything about me and that still wasn’t enough for you!” this time standing on the bench to shout over the top of you. “It’s always the same argument from you isn’t it! Can you blame me for not being honest if this is how you react? I don’t love you anymore Ruesha, I haven’t loved you for years!” That statement from Katie made your eyes bulge in shock, that was a spiteful thing to say. “You always liked to keep your options open didn’t you!” still standing on the bench and kicking Katie’s belongings onto the floor. “You’re so over emotional and unpredictable Rue, what the fuck even was that out there? Are you trying to embarrass all of us? You don’t deserve to be here!” Katie picked up a boot to throw at her. “WOAH, THAT IS ENOUGH!” you screamed to get their attention, grabbing the boot out of Katie’s hand and throwing it across the room. “RUE! OUT! NOW!” pointing at the door. Ruesha’s arms folded as she refused to move so you did the only thing you could. Grabbing her legs and throwing her over your shoulder you carried her out as the screaming continued behind, kicking the door to open it as you marched the midfielder out of the changing room. Placing her feet back on the ground, as soon as the door closed she burst into tears, lowering her down gently as she collapsed onto the floor. Cradling your best friend who wailed into your lap as the rest of the team walked past, you waved them on determined to not make it a big scene. Once they’d passed, you scooped her up to carry her into an empty room and attempted to her calm her uneven breathing, fetching cold towels for her forehead before she gave herself a migraine.

Exhausted from all the crying she soon fell asleep on the coach, your back was against the window with your legs draped over her - feeling like you were protecting her against the world and the childish snickers from the back of the bus. Arriving back at the hotel you carried her limp body into your room and tucked her into bed, holding her into the next day, ready to take on the world again - in more ways than one.

[anonzentimes]

You're one of my favorite people on here, I love komaeda so much, oh my god

infodump about whatever you want about komaeda NOW!! (if you want, you dont actually have to)

RAGGG!!!!! you're so so sweet oh my gosh ❤️❤️ Sure i'll talk about komaeda! I'll just say what I've been thinking about specifically today.

I was thinking about the fact that Nagito can suppress sides of him today, when he needs to he's able to suppress some of his personality for people. I think the reason Nagito is "normal," before his freakout is not only for the plot twist but because he's trying to make a good impression for Hajime. And once he's even more interested in Hajime he wants his attention, He's always by his side at any chance he gets. I think Hajime just generally stood out to him because he felt a connection with him on a spiritual level and acted upon his curiosity. Why would he be the only one to stay behind and wake up Hajime otherwise? I think he had the gut instinct I do when I feel as if I need to talk to somebody who interests me.

His "facade," is sort of like how when you meet new people and you're not entirely showing your true self fully yet, I think he does that. He's able to suppress parts of himself for other people.

Nagito is always wanting Hajime's attention, he respects his personal space and beliefs but mostly wants to be around him. He's also VERY observant, even when he doesn't understand social cues sometimes his ability to observe others is a big factor about him. He observes Hajime a lot.

Which is honestly weird, isn't he afraid of getting close to people? He usually avoids his classmates, he thinks he isn't deserving of reciprocation, and yet he stayed by Hajime's side. He made an effort to talk normally enough that Hajime would like him. He even went swimming without any complaints, probably because he still doesn't want to lose his attention.

He continues this behavior throughout the game, even in Chapter 4 he uses the fact he has information to get Hajime's attention.

He doesn't think he's worth the ultimates time, and yet, he's always drawn to Hajime. He's always after Hajime's approval, it's so oddly fascinating to me. It's not an obsession thing, but he just really loves him for some reason. It feels more like an irrational emotion, it's not warped love, it's not about status, and It proceeds on even when he knows he's a despair.

I wonder if maybe, just maybe, if Nagito saw his suicide plan as freeing Hajime from Despair. Maybe that's how he justifies it with his emotions. And in an odd sense a horrible proclamation of love.

Sorry this kind of turned into Komahina more than anything lmao, but mostly I'm just thinking about how weird it is that he likes him, like why? What is it about him that Nagito is so infatuated with him? It goes against what he usually does, was he just really that special that he becomes irrational to his typical behaviors?

And in the free time events he's even more infatuated because he believes Hajime is amazing for tolerating him. He pushes him away so he doesn't get harmed by his luck cycle, but also to hopefully to get Hajime kill him. He wants him to escape, he wants him to create hope. Because he believes someone as great as Hajime can create amazing hope. And then his love confession???? AUGH his love confession like, it's so complicated. Did he bail out because he didn't want him to get hurt by his luck cycle? Did he bail out because he doesn't think he's worthy? LIKE??? He's so crazy.

Nagito's so interesting, his irrational infatuation with Hajime next to his warped beliefs, luck cycle, warped love, and intense obsession with hope to the point that he becomes morally grey over it makes him such a wonderful and entertaining character.

[aqours]

ok i REAAAAAALLY need to make a dedicated sideblog for this shit now i realize bc this game is gonna fucking fully get me dragged into this discourse so i'm gonna make an active effort to stop putting these on main, but i can't see myself saying more beyond this in general but ANYWAAAAYS

so i recently made this post about the cognitive dissonance regarding this game and people using fucking CALL OF DUTY a game that is more or less a recruitment drive to make the US military look cool and try to get kids to join up and that GTA's wanted system is actually NOT rewarding you or something to try to play a dick measuring contest with coffin but this interaction really interested me and i wanna talk about it bc i just blocked them after they refused to answer the last question but this is a very specific kind of gaslighting tactic i'm very familiar with from my own days as an anti

i think p much all of us who are used to engaging with this discourse are used to like y'know, being called awful horrible disgusting things. this is not the first time some fucking weird random person came onto my content asking me if i was a kid didler or wanted to fuck my brother. ain't gonna be anywhere near the last time either folks, but i and Lord God knows that's not the case so i don't care what a rando on the internet says but here's the thing: you can't "win" this, but they want to win it. no matter what you say you are the absolute worst kind of dreg of society that should be shot behind a barn and no amount of anything would work. if i actually pulled a list of sourced all that would have happened was they would've doubled down on calling me an inc*s*ious p*d* that I would be willing to use articles probably written by "people like me." because YOU don't care about "winning" this argument, you just wanna get the facts out on your end. it's a catch-22 folks, nothing you say will get you out of it!

i started by calling them a karen, they immediately escalated the living FUCK out of it and tried to trap me in this catch-22 to keep feeling morally superior to me. me saying i don't have such desires and never will isn't enough because i like this game. nothing but me renouncing it will change it.

but here's the thing about antis- they fucking HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE it when you turn it on them. look at the difference. look at the difference between they were the one throwing the catch-22 at me vs. the other way around. what about you? you just came onto my post to harass me, so i'll say it back. how about you? are you just accusing me of these horrible things because you are projecting your thoughts on me? you told me to get a therapist: so maybe you're the one that needs help if so!

violent video games must encourage violence, riiiiight? and you support it because it's violent. Game of Thrones had in*e*t in it so everyone who likes it also is the same. and Demon Slayer, where the pfp is from is violent, so you support it. the main protag's little sister also gets a superpowered form where she gets physically older and a tits out kinda look. so clearly YOU want to see your sister in the same way, right?

and it went as expected. you can see the tone going from smug jerking off with a shit-eating grin to just annoyed while smelling their own farts like it's a rose. and the moment i started doing the same uh i got NO fucking answers and they stormed off. i waited half an hour for a response before blocking them

so why am i typing up this walltext? because i used to be an anti. i fucking guarantee you i would've called everyone who liked this game [insert horrible things] like 7-9 years ago. so let me tell you, you know what pisses off antis more than anything? more than ANYTHING? turning this catch-22 bullshit on them. this is the only way you can end this miserable conversation without blocking them.

it's all one-sided bullshit and the moment you turn it on an anti it IMMEDIATLY shuts it down. this fucker KNEW the answer and you know it. so i wanted to share that, if you ever struggle with this shit: well the best thing you can do is block them and to give a fuck about winning their imaginary argument, but this is the only way to make the headache end otherwise. just throw the catch-22 right back and that's the end. thanks for reading!

[sweetfire01]

Honora Patrem tum [pt.1]

[pt.2]

In the beginning, Simmy created a safe place for you to roll. And that place was obviously your playpen. The mat was soft and the blanket placed on top made the whole surface fluffy and cozy - you wanted to sleep on it! And the position in which the angel placed you, on your stomach, didn't make things easy. It seemed like ages since you last lay down in such a comfortable place; it was actually only a week after your surprise adoption, time to gradually decrease the dosage of the drug in your bottles.

And your Daddy noticed how your little eyes were brighter and some of your energy had returned. He was delighted that you became more energetic, he planned so many fun activities for his little lamb! And those two hours of play in the morning now weren't enough for you, right? So it was time for you to have some more fun. And no, that didn't mean sleep!

He encouraged you to crawl towards him, only less than two meters away from you, although without success. You were probably still too small and weak to do it. Oh well, there was no point in rushing things, was there? You both had all the time in the world and there were so many other games you could do.

For example, he started playing peek-a-boo, making silly funny faces for you to laugh every time he took his hand away. Then he actually rolled you onto your back, one hand under your head to avoid possible damage as he moved you. He cooed at you as you watched him curiously, whose could this sweet little lamb be? Oh, but of course Daddy's! Yes, you are his cute little one, you are!

Meanwhile, you just wanted to die, especially when he grabbed your feet and played "this little pig".

It took a couple more days for you to crawl, obviously in his absence. You almost regretted the first times you were here: now you went from sitting looking at the plushie around you, to lying down looking at Simmy. It was worse in a way, as he expected you to play and enjoy yourself. But you didn't find anything funny about peek-a-boo, the tickle monster or the exercise he made you do, bending your legs towards your torso. You knew this was to improve the bowel movement and, with messy diapers changed pretty much every day, you had no doubt in its effectiveness. It was just this morning that you rolled over on your own for the first time, when you felt like you had enough strength in your arms and legs to push yourself off the changing table. Luckily for Simmy, he stopped you before you could get hurt. Unfortunately for you, now during changes you are restrained by a strap, placed just below your lower ribs.

You couldn't wait to get out of here. From this playpen, from this house, from the Celestial Realm! You took advantage of a moment when the angel headed into the kitchen to actually test how much strength you had. And immediately noticed that you didn't have enough to stand. Fuck it. You managed to get to your knees but not fully stand up. You couldn't give yourself the necessary push with your limbs and the bars of the box were out of your reach to be used for support. So, feeling incredibly ridiculous, you decided to crawl to the far end of this fucking prison. You would have found a way to get up.

Simmy returned to the living room at that very moment, just long enough to see you crawl. Oh my, how adorable you were! He walked over to the playpen, opening it to allow you to move towards him. But even if you stopped almost immediately, he didn't care, the enormous effort had probably tired you out. "Oh little lamb, were you looking for Daddy?" He picked you up in his arms, planting kisses all over your face. "Scared you were alone huh? Poor little thing, Daddy's right here with you now." He couldn't wait to watch you as you walked towards him, his arms outstretched ready to welcome you into his lap. And when would you have taken your first steps? And your first word? Oh father, save him!

"Simmy was cooking a delicious num-num for this baby" He sit down with you on the mat, gently tickling your stomach "Oh yes, delicious num-num for this tummy" Hearing you laugh and babble behind your pacifier brought great joy to the angel. He would enjoy every single second of your growth.

You didn't know what kind of food he would give you, but the prospect of eating anything other than milk was enough to ignore your degrading condition.

[queensectonia]

last night i was reminded of one of my extremely few Hater Moments (lighthearted) about this series and i never got around to fully articulating my thoughts on it, so it is once again time for our regularly-scheduled kirby rant:

the spider sectonia reveal was poorly-executed on every level.

to start with, this plot element was introduced when the series was in its worst throes of Not Putting The Fucking Lore In The Fucking Games, but I will happily concede that this reveal was at least in a game; just not the game it should have been in.

I almost wonder if the Sectonia Clone as a whole was a leftover from the fact that Robobot started out development as Triple Deluxe 2, but considering that a) TD2 was dropped pretty early on and b) Robobot is just full to the brim with fanservice and callbacks anyway, I don't feel there's much evidence for such a theory.

at any rate, reducing the otherwise very intriguing reveal of Sectonia's prior form to a blink-and-you'll-miss-it easter egg in an entirely different game is pretty... underwhelming. we've had plenty of "reveals" or cool nods and expansions to other lorebits in similar easter eggs, but none of them were nearly as important as "oh, by the way, here's what the character whose whole arc revolves around personal and physical image used to look like! in a totally unrelated game!"

but that's the tamest complaint. that's just the accessibility of this information, which could have been better but certainly could have been worse.

the biggest problem is Sectonia's design. it's bad. it is just not good, fellas. she is literally just genderbent Taranza. it fails visually, it fails conceptually, and it fails really hard story-wise.

this design was so uninspired that when people in the EN sphere first saw it, tons of people thought it just was Taranza. then when we got screenshots, model rips, etc., it was still so painfully similar to Taranza that it made people assume HAL was saying Taranza and Sectonia were related - which turned into just as much of a shitfight as you might think.

even if this weren't attached to such a crucial character reveal, it's just downright a bad design! instead of taking even the slightest efforts to differentiate Sectonia from Taranza, they did the laziest, most barebones "uhhhhhh what if taranza But Girl" design shift possible. she's wearing the exact same outfit as Taranza, just palette-swapped. so little effort went into both the concepting stage and the modelling stage. she's just Taranza's model with the merest tweaks to make sure you know this is a Girl Spider.

genuinely, I would be a hundred times more amenable to this entire plot point if HAL had just bothered to give her an actual design.

but the problem is, making Sectonia a spider kind of just fucks everything about her story and contradicts itself at multiple points.

the aesthetic and theme language in TD is very clear. this is one of the biggest strengths that both it and Robobot share - the identity and literary through-lines of both games pervade every single visual element of them. Robobot tells its tale of capitalistic tech-fuelled colonialism through every part of the game from level backgrounds, to enemy designs, right down to surgical decisions like mechanising the pinwheel tree that was such a fond image from KRtD. every tiny thing bore the mark of the HWC, whether metaphorically or literally, such that you spent the entire game never forgetting that there was one unified force behind all of this, and Haltmann at the end of the game was the culmination of this aesthetic.

TD did the exact same. every part of TD sells that it's a fantastical fairytale romp through a series of themed locations with a connecting thread of the invading Antr* force.

*(this is a way better romanisation than "antler" this is my hill)

if anything, I'd argue that TD's design language in this respect is tighter than Robobot's, because Robobot had a fairly broad theme of "industrialisation and hi-tech space future sci-fi" to draw its foes from, whereas TD had to condense its antagonists under the stricter banner of "evil insect army".

and they did incredibly. every point of design about the Antrs points straight to Sectonia and draws from her in some way or another. it's absolutely seamless. she's the perfect logical endpoint of Antr design from every angle: she's the literal queen bee of this insect hive and the perfect expression of their anatomy. she's bigger than the biggest Antr. she's more developed. she's more powerful. they were so careful and thorough about this design conceit that Antrs have multiple stages that all march straight up to Sectonia. we go from the tiny bronto burt and waddle dee clones with their little wings and eyes that seem so familiar, to the Antr soldiers, all the way up to the Lord Antrs who are one step away from Sectonia. they have stripes and facial markings to echo hers. it's all wrapped up with the genius bow of combining ants, bees, and wasps: they're all hymenoptera! the metaphor goes even deeper than that because there's a species of wasp that parasitizes spiders! controls them, even!

... except no actually, we've decided she's a spider too and all of that buildup and artful design means nothing.

it's awful. it's taking what is far and away one of the best-executed designs in the series and saying that all of that buildup and blatant connection of ideas meant nothing.

but that's just the visual end of it. Sectonia actually being a spider makes no sense in the lore, either.

first of all, TD's incredible design sense and artistic direction applies to Taranza as well. while he's obviously derivative of Magolor, within the context of TD he's clearly meant to evoke the sky fairies. he's designed to look much more like them than any of the insect characters. he's got the same body type, he moves the same way as them, he's a sky fairy with a spider theme. the game draws visual parallels between him and the sky fairies more than once; this is not unintentional.

this is part of what makes Taranza's role as Sectonia's right hand more impactful: he's only insect adjacent, and the design language would have you believe he's more closely related to the fairies than the insects, so him being with the bad guys is notable and interesting.

so why would a spider character be the ruling monarch of the insect hive? why would the line go ant, bigger ant, fancy ant, armoured ant, spider, wasp?

I mean, shit dude, the miiverse posts directly tell us that Sectonia used to "look like her insect underlings". it really feels like the decision to make her be a spider was a total spur-of-the-moment one, between how badly it interacts with the rest of the story and how lazy the design was. Sectonia's backstory had a couple of holes in it regarding the actual timeline of things, but those were just mysteries regarding what order everything happened in. she was both a bodyjacker and a good queen at one point, which don't exactly jive, so it becomes interesting to think about how those two facts coexist. on the other hand, her being a spider just gets shoehorned in there for no apparent reason other than to... heighten her connection to Taranza?

and that just dovetails into the complete mockery HAL made of Taranza's character development after TD, and THAT is a rant for another time.

there was just no point to it all. Sectonia being a spider adds nothing, removes a bunch of nuance and intrigue, and muddies both her story and the background world of TD.

[crguang]

also the overalls on Kafka, her in a suit is always so nice, like I need to put on her tie for her and adjust her collar and kiss her goodbye before she goes to kill a ton of people. When she comes home yank her by the tie and kiss her dumb, and the overalls are coming off. Also she’s drinking again, she went to the bar immediately. I rewatched her trailer, like ik she killed all the guards but I need to be one of them, especially the one at the end, idc if I’m gonna get shot, like her pose, the legs? if Kafka did that to me…I would not survive. And I saw a screenshot of her from like an early game trailer like an anime opening type thing with her name in the background …her legs, omg I need her so bad.

I checked her other replies and it was biographical films and she said “I also enjoy the feeling of reading about and watching others' lives” which makes sense, she def likes analyzing people’s lives and stuff smth smth I don’t like the idea of a movie being made abt me w the director’s interpretation of me, which I thought was interesting, bc obv she’s an “actor” if Elio is the director. And the other one is sci-fi and she says smth like they’re set in the future but the past is repeated in the future. Which is silly bc sci-fi still existing in hsr like what are sci-fi movies abt there? I got gifted lavender oil, to help relax my brain or smth, and makes it easier to sleep, so hopefully that helps too.

-🌠

kafka in a suit always does things to me i love her stupid suspenders so much she looks so edible i need to chew her like bubblegum. and yeah i joke abt her always having a drink in hand but it’s kinda true like maybe it’s time for an intervention…..

we dont talk about kafka doing the world a favor by shooting ipc goons in the head often enough. if i was that dude she was leaning over with her boobs in his face and shot me in the face i’d die happy. like what a way to go. need to sit on her lapppp i need it i need it

learning stuff about her makes me smile so big like of course she enjoys getting in people’s heads it’s her whole thing… did she actually say that she wouldn’t want a movie made about her… it makes sense, since she keeps everyone at a distance and keeps her cards close to her chest no one could know her well enough to understand her fully, so their interpretation of her would never be true to the source material. i really love how mysterious she is and how much effort that goes into staying that way like shes so silly😭 i would argue that elio is also an actor though, he doesn’t control her and hes also just “destiny’s slave”. the scripts/possibilites are already written, he just relays them and twists them to his advantage.

the line about the past repeating itself in the future also makes sense considering that she follows the path of finality, in a “we come from the earth we’ll go back to the earth” kind of way… she also says something similar in a voice line (the past and the future are so similar to each other. i’m indifferent towards them) and im starting to understand what she means by that, even tho im still a little confused about what future she’s talking about. cause she clearly cares about hers lol

[sapphire-weapon]

So, I reached the very endgame of FFXVI and looked at the shitton of sidequests that popped up before heading off to the final confrontation and went “fuck it.” I had done every single sidequest in the game leading up to this point, but I was reaching the end of the final night of the days I had taken off of work to play this game and I just needed to beat it and be done with it. I made a manual save at that point and just went into the final boss, intending to go back to the sidequests later.

After I beat the game, I didn’t honestly think I’d actually go back to those sidequests. What was the point, knowing how the game ended and what it meant?

ENDING SPOILERS BENEATH THIS CUT

And then I poked my head into the fandom and kept seeing people insist that Clive lived in the end (and also probably so did Joshua). And, at first, I was like “how much fucking copium are you guys huffing over here?? We literally physically see Joshua die, and he even says that the power of the Phoenix can mend flesh, but it can’t bring the dead back to life. So, all that happened was that Clive healed his corpse to make him look more dignified, but that is it. And we literally see Clive fucking turn into stone and Jill feels his aether disappear. They fucking died, we saw them die, you are so high on copium it’s making you look stupid.”

But then I kept digging into it.

And digging into it.

For Joshua -

Ultima says that Clive’s will is so strong that it actually harbors the power of creation, especially considering the way that Joshua is etched onto his heart. And, during the ending, Clive has Ultima’s power, which also literally is creation. We might not see Joshua get up and move around again, but his survival is hinted at/confirmed during the post-credits scene when he’s listed as the author of the book.

Okay, I can buy that. I guess. It still sounds copium as fuck to me, but I can see how people got there.

Clive’s was a little bit more abstract, and I kept seeing people refer to a conversation he had with Jill that I swear to god I never saw, because apparently Jill is the confirmation that he lived. So, in an effort to understand what the fuck people were talking about, I booted the game back up and went back and did the sidequests that I’d ignored last night.

And I saw the conversation.

And fandom is right. 

This motherfucker goddamn lived ARE YOU KIDDING ME

THIS SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN IN MISSABLE OPTIONAL CONTENT HOLY FUCK

It’s subtle, and it’s spelled out purely in symbolism, but it is there.

Jill says: “I realized that, no matter how terrible the night, dawn will always come. You [will] always come for me. And you have. Again and again.”

A few lines later, Clive says: “I’ll stop at nothing to see that you [get the life you want].”

In the ending, Jill watches Metia go out -- Metia, which she prayed on to bring Clive back to her -- and she takes that to mean that Clive is dead. But when she runs out of the infirmary and drops to her knees, the sun rises. Immediately. And Torgal howls -- and howling is how wolves try to signal their location to lost members of the pack to guide them home. And then Jill smiles at the sight of the sun.

Metia goes out because Jill doesn’t have to wish on it anymore -- not because Clive is dead, but because they’ll never have to be separated again. It also probably goes out because there’s no more magic left in the world. And, in fact, that’s probably why he doesn’t die -- the ability to channel aether in the form of magic disappears from the world before the curse can actually fully take him.

Because I rewatched the ending, and --

We don’t actually see him turn to stone. We see his hand turn to stone, but it doesn’t appear to be creeping up the rest of his arm or anything. And then he just... closes his eyes and drops his head against the sand.

That motherfucker is alive.

And because he’s alive, it ties back to Joshua because of the sidequest with the fuckin heartstones binding them together through the will of their father. If one endures, so too must the other. They both have to carry out Elwin’s legacy; it can’t just be Clive (or, it can’t just be Joshua, if you’re of the opinion that Clive resurrected him with Ultima’s power but then died himself).

Because it wasn’t just Cid’s dream and Cid’s legacy -- it was Elwin’s, too. The game makes it a point to repeat that over and over again, and it also keeps hammering home the idea that Clive and Joshua need to continue on living in order to see Elwin’s dream realized.

And Elwin’s dream is shown to have been realized in the post-credits scene. For that to have happened, both Clive and Joshua had to have lived.

Does this absolve XVI of all of its other writing problems? Absolutely not.

Is it complete and utter bullshit that this is so obtuse and missable and a vast majority of people are never going to find it? Yes.

Does it make things marginally better, though.......? Yeah, it actually does.

This is the payoff for Clive allowing himself to be loved. Jill’s love for him literally saved his life. Cid gave him something to die for, but Jill gave him something to live for. He made it a point to hold on long enough to look at the moon, because he promised her he would -- and doing that is what kept him going long enough that the magic disappeared before his body could fully turn to stone. And that whole idea of death and rebirth is thematically tied into the whole Phoenix thing and all that other bullshit.

I’m going to need to take some time to process all of this, but.

It does make me feel at least a little better.

[cutegirlmayra]

Prompt Amy is thinking about her friend Gamma. She really misses him and wishes he was around. All her friends try to make her feel better and their antics are enough to cheer her up.

(This is a preview image, it does not belong to me! Support the official artist! (x))

Preview Video for prompt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbtulMhVdq8 and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEOn7Y6wE5c for reference of English lines, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFjgepflorc for reference of Japanese lines combined with English dub. It was wonderful to go back, I had no idea how much depth was within Gamma’s story, and I’m so glad I got to go back to my roots of character research and discover so much of a profound ‘secret’ almost about him! <3 I combined both the game, animes, and their separate translations to try and piece together a complete story for him. Enjoy~ As I did while writing his beautiful ‘hero’s sacrifice’ story out! What a happy ending he truly had! Though, bittersweet still :)b

Prompts are Shut Down, I don’t know when I’ll ever open them again, it was just way too much. Sorry, Fam :(

Prompt:

‘Excavation duty, again?’

‘Not only was Knuckles all about saving the relics of his people, which, I totally understand that! It’s just…’

Amy cautiously picked up what looked like a disgustingly soggy robotic eye-socket that was in the depths of the jungle, and sticking her tongue out while shaking her head, also shook her hand to dispose of its remnants into a black garbage bag. ‘Why did I have to be assigned garbage duty..? What am I? The cleaning lady?’

She sighed and continued in her labors, growing weary as the sun beat down with no gentle cloud to shelter her at all.

She continued to use her hammer to jab through the debris of vines and mossy flora, hitting and moving it away without trying to cause too much of a disturbance. She had one foot through the figurative ‘wall’ of entangling vines that made her swing her Piko Piko Hammer around aimlessly, letting out small disgruntled sounds of effort and discomfort before falling chin-fist to the fertile green ground.

She looked so annoyed, gruffing out a puff of frustrated air in a growl as she looked up and saw a choir of frogs croaking in amusement at her fumble.

Grumbling with a look of exasperation on her face, she slowly got one gloved hand under her vibrant red and white-striped hula-hooped dress and continued onward.

Stumbling once more over something, this time metallic in nature, and ringing out a painfully high-pitched tone–She caught herself from falling and stared into the void of vast, endless jungle.

A typical girlie-girl may be done by now… but Amy Rose wasn’t one to easily give up.

‘After all our many adventures… I’m not gonna let this slow me down.’ She kicked whatever was behind her, hearing the tone again, as the frogs on the swerving tree branches above hunched down in precaution at its strange ‘cry’.

Their big ol’ eyes blinked in intervals, and one dared to croak his nerves.

She got up, dusting herself off again, then gave up on tidying herself up when she knew she’d be stumbling about–picking up Eggman scraps from his abandoned robots anyway along the way–and turned to gasp at what she discovered.

It… looked like the haul of a large ship! Just one section of it, torn so fully it appeared to be peeled like a banana!

“What on..? Oh!” She put a hand up by her mouth as she looked to see Eggman’s insignia… “The Eggcarrier!? Is this where it’s been rotting the whole time!?” She took trepid steps around the flattened metal she had tripped over, before seeing the large gaping ‘cave-mouth’ of its haul… darkened but covered with vines to shield the light.

Squinting, she moved the vines out of the way and cried out in alarm as she stepped back while many monkeys and other Flickys of differing species all hopped, leaped, or flew out of the space. “Ahhh!!!” Her eyes went small as she covered her head and ducked.

After the chaotic common finally quieted down, she peeked up and looked around. “Phew…” She put her hands to her chest, smiling somewhat. ‘Looks like it’s been deserted for ages… I don’t think any robots are still actively patrolling it.’ She concluded, and headed on into its hollow basin…

She called it that, because she could hear running water, and stepping further within, she looked down to see splashing water from her footfalls. “... Did it crash to create an unnatural waterfall?” She looked to the side, remembering seeing a large water pocket traveling down in a couple of diverging streams from the cliffs and mountains up ahead…

‘When it crashed here, it must have disrupted the local ecosystem… then seemingly became apart of the landscape over time.’ She concluded, seeing how there were birds nests and grass sprouting through the crevices below her… maybe even natural ways to clean the water by the looks of how clear and reflective the water appeared to be.

‘The cycle of life… Eggman’s destruction… to nature’s remedies…’ She looked in awe, seeing how the whole of the ship was transformed by nature taking over, ruling in its rightful place among the gorgeous jungle peaks and flat lands.

‘Swampy… muddy… but at least it’s my home.’ She gave a small smile to the side of her, ‘I’m proud of you… Mother Nature.’

She continued to compliment its small takeover of Eggman’s ugly mug with vines hanging like tapestry before her foot naturally hit something on the ground below her.

“Hmm?” A black rock?

She narrowed her eyes… “Hmmmmmmmm….” She flexed out her black garbage bag’s opening. “Em-hmm..!” She figured she knew what this was. Scrap to heap away and clear from the area. Tails was looking for any information he could gather for his research into how Dr. Eggman’s scientific genius has evolved over the years, plus with the restoration aspects, it was also Tails’s humble way of contributing to predicting Eggman’s next technological threats.

‘Smart, but can anyone really study Eggman’s erratic behavior and perceive into the mind of the insane?’ She casually quipped, smirking at her own insult humor towards him, but as she brushed the dirt and grim away…

She gasped again,... She had seen this robot before.

‘What was he called..? Beta..?’ Her eyes flashed with recognition.

She dropped the garbage bag and hurried to the other ‘large boulder rock’ beside it.

Tearing through the rubble of pebble, the drapes of leafs, and ripping off and through the strangling roots of nearby shrubbery… she found him.

“Oh, Gamma…” Her eyes welled up, she was so new to learning robots could feel back then… or at least, understand and compute emotions… Their AI beginning to advance beyond Metal Sonic or even Orbot and Cubot… predating those two, of course, but still…

She had her hands drop the thriving green vines from her hands, falling to her knees.

In the roar of the waterfall, the chaotic cries of the living jungle life, and that shallow wind that moved through the hollow mouth of this wrecked, mobile spaceship…

She grieved once again.

Her nose sniffled, and she used her hand and arm to try and clear it from the swelling of emotions…

She reached down and began to try and drag the empty vessel that once held a truly noble, brave, and heroic heart… but it got snagged on something.

‘Hmm? What could that be?’ She thought it another vine, gently lowering the fallen soldier and moving away further obstruction of leaves and dirt to see… his hand was still holding his brother’s.

“Ohhh…” She covered her mouth, “I can’t leave you all… can I?” She looked to Gamma, “They’re as much a part of you as Lily Bird’s family was apart of each other…” She gently looked at the rusted metal… seeing absolutely no life.

Puffing up her cheeks, looking in her defiant and signature look, she mimed rolling up her nonexistent sleeves and heaved and ho’d!

She found all four of them, as well as some other useful bits she put in the garbage bag, and made her way back to Tails’s workshop.

Understandably, she was exhausted, and Tails was equally shocked.

She explained herself, huffing and puffing in her efforts to preserve their legacy, she asked if Tails could look at a memory chip she had found in Gamma.

“It’s pretty badly burned… do you think it’s… melted all his memories away?” She put her hands together, as though to pray there was still something remaining of him… a memento even, of his brave deeds.

“Hmm…” Tails didn’t have a connection to Gamma like she did, but one couldn’t possibly fathom her dismay when he put his thumbs against the opening of the gaps, and cracked it open like a disc.

“AHHH!!” She shrieked, “Tails, why!?!?!”

“Calm down, calm down..! Look! Hehe~” He leaned back, worried she would retaliate, but sweatdropped sweetly at her care for the old robot. He smiled sheepishly, hoping she would let him explain.

Inside, he turned the opened case to reveal a circuit board, shining and golden… it had remained untouched… unsoiled by the long years of wasting away in the jungle… perfectly preserved within it’s metallic, rusted case.

“No damage. I can boot this right up to my computer and you can access the memory files!” He cheerfully comforted her, as her eyes shook with twinkling delight at the prospect of seeing his story through his own eyes.

“Oh, Tails… Don’t scare me like that.” She smiled warmly, walking into his garage with her hand over her heart, trying to slow it from its panic, and sat in the swivel chair.

“I’ve got all your useful pieces to look through from your excavation site. So you can sit back and relax for now. I promise, I won’t scrap Gamma’s brothers.”

She nodded, “Thank you, Tails… I know this sounds kinda selfish…” She worriedly raised her shoulders, a bit bashful.

“Not at all!” Tails readily replied to comfort any of her fears. “He must have meant something to you. I vaguely remember you stopping Sonic from destroying him… So… Yeah! He’ll be all yours, okay?” Tails held up a finger to his mouth, then waved her off after traveling briefly down memory lane.

Now it was her turn… to take a longer, scenic route through it…

She clicked to open the file through the mouse, and selected the first folder.

From what she had gathered, Gamma saw how hard his teammates had tried complete their tasks, only proving that every effort was ‘useless’ if it wasn’t done ‘correctly’.

Having no concept of fear, he continued on, before seeing what became of those who were considered ‘useless’ to Dr. Eggman…

Why did he have to go through that wrong door? And why was it so hard to hear this Pink Hedgehog’s words?

Once he took what Eggman wanted of the Flicky, her and the Bird would be… disposed of.

Was there truly programming outside of direct orders from ‘Master’?

Amy watched as he continued to question his existence, on if things really needed to be done for ‘survival’ or simply because ‘useless things’ had a right to exist too?

Upon deleting his programming, and rounding up his tossed friends, he never had any concept of what fueled him onwards other than the right to live… freely.

All things as they should be… all those Frogs were beautiful and cool, like his friends had mentioned… Friends… Sonic stopped his programming, which was to destroy robots, and listened to the pleading of the Pink Hedgehog… his friend.

Gamma then realized, during the last fight with his ‘brother’ in arms, that even he couldn’t survive… if what he now believed was true, then all creatures needed a ‘guardian’, like Chaos, to protect their existence no matter how ‘useless’ they appeared to be.

Because all things had a purpose, simply to live without ‘Master’s.

Beta had been transformed into what Eggman saw as ‘more likely to be useful’, which Gamma found disturbing. It was equally as brutal as fashioning him into another ‘being’, and he was uncertain if he could save his ‘friend’ any longer.

When he beheld that tiny Bird pleading with its eyes, something fluttered within him… he figured an awakening to humanity, but it was so much more than that.

He could feel that same fluttering within his metallic core for Beta, which wasn’t fully felt with the other E-Series… He had… some connection to this machine. To this… friend.

He had to fight him, but he didn’t want to destroy him.

All his attempts for Beta to change his programming, like he had, were in vain.

When Amy stepped in, during when he felt this first direct connection with the Birdie she titled: “Lily”, she had stated that the creature wanted the best for him.

‘Best’..?

Was this that feeling? He wanted the ‘best’ for Beta? What would that be?

If he destroyed Beta, would that be the ‘Best’ he was looking for?

If he kept Beta operational, but still defeated him, Eggman would likely tear him apart again, or discard him like the others…

That, he knew, was not the ‘Best’ he wanted for him.

When he battled other Eggman robots, he noticed that Flickies would emerge and pop or fly out of them… He had computed that the Flicky inside him, must have some connection to both “Lily” and Beta.

He computed, during that awful fight, that he–as well–must be destroyed.

Thus, can all their ‘Friend’s truly survive.

Amy watched as his resolve was absolute, and he was prepared to sacrifice his own robotic existence to save the “Lily Friends”.

Amy began to have tears well-up, seeing how hard he fought Beta, and how determined he was to protect and save his friends…

A true heroic act of bravery, a ‘friend’ indeed…

She wiped her eyes, believing she would have done the same if the truth had been presented to her in that fashion.

She had no idea… how much she had influenced him, to rebel against his programming like that… to see and reflect on the true meaning of ‘life’.

His experience with the spirit of Tikal led him to wanting to free the defenseless animals, and fight for those weaker than he.

Amy had called him a ‘Bully’, and he designated that title to Eggman, which she again cried over and had to collect herself to watch more files.

The memories of the Flicky within him stirred… Things his supercomputer couldn’t compute.

He had tried to survive… to work towards a good goal… But he found something greater in sacrifice, allowing another imprisoned life to continue on.

She only looked up when she heard the scratchy vocal recording of her voice,... she was so young back then.

“Stop it!” the tape played with greyish, frizzing lines upon the computer, showing the memories were somewhat decaying from time… “You both are..!”

‘I KNOW, PINK HEDGEHOG.’ Gamma had said in his mind, ‘WE ARE… FRIENDS.’

“You’ve done so much for Lily and me… You were able to save them, thank you!” 

He willingly held his ‘brother’s hand… as the world came down, and their bodies exploded to open up a way for the Flickies to return to their ‘Family’, a concept he knew nothing of.

Except… by the memories… of his now freed Bird.

Amy shook to her core, realizing that after the explosion, even after the Flickies had left, he still was functioning enough to hear her last remarks…

She covered her mouth.

“We’ll be friends from now on! Oh, Mr. Robot… I’ll never forget you.”

How long..? How long had he been ‘functioning’ to hear her..?

Waiting in that jungle of rubbish… just… waiting for someone to find him? His friends?

“Now you and your brother can live together again!” Her voice on the machine recording was too much… She got up, putting her hands on the console of the computer’s keys, and realizing she had accidentally ‘abandoned’ the robot, not realizing he was still desperately hanging on to what little power he had left… what little ‘life’ he still retained…

The sad but poetic tale sent her into a spiral, before a chirp came at the top of the garage.

She looked up, her eyes widening.

A single pink bird..?

It seemed to almost smile in empathy towards her… how long had it been perched there..?

Later, Tails had tried to comfort her, but she begged and pleaded for him to try and give the robots a second chance. “Maybe… they could be assistants?”

“Robots? Working for me?” Tails kinda chuckled at that thought, “What am I? The ‘Good’ Doctor?”

As Amy leaves for her own home, Tails sees the same Pink Bird fly over to land on Gamma’s remains, smiling to him as well, flapping his wings as though showing some familiarity to it.

Tails’s eyes squint, but he puts a hand up to his chin and smiles, deciding on something…

Later, Sonic surprised Amy by saying they were going somewhere. Thinking it a date, she got dressed up only to be rushed to Tails’s place, which made her a bit disappointed before seeing him open the garage, going–”Ta-dah!!!”

Overjoyed, Amy scrambled out of Sonic’s arms, and raced up to the E-Series Robots.

Flickies were gathered all around them, as though they were their new guardians, as Gamma held his gun to in his arm, pointed to the side and away from her, and looked down.

“GREETINGS, TINY PINK HEDGEHOG… AMY ROSE.” He… He knew her name, now…

The Pink Flicky chirped in a beautiful cascade of notes, flying up in a spiral with fluttering wings as though to say, ‘Surprise!’ as well.

Amy leaped up to Gamma, as Sonic rubbed under his nose…

Thanks to Amy, he knew not all robots were meant to be seen just by their surface levels… Though, it didn’t mean he’d stop smashing them to get to their ‘Flicky Hearts’ inside..!

But… Seeing how she embraced Gamma’s resurrection, and how she shook each of his friends hands… He smiled.

He put his hands on his hips, as a Lily Bird landed on his shoulder, chirping and fluttering her wings before nudging his face with her beak, as though nuzzling him.

He winked towards her, “It’s nice… to not have to say goodbye, isn’t it?”

He looked out at the happy picture again, seeing Lily Bird fly back to the Pink bird and their friend to make a trio of Flickies, flying to cover Amy with greetings as well.

“... A hero deserves… a just dues ending.” He relaxed on one leg, letting his other arm dangle down… Giving Gamma his happy ‘hero’s ending…

[weirdkpopgirl]

Unstoppable Feelings | Jeno Imagine #5

Title: Unstoppable Feelings

Genre: A little angst, slight fluff

Warnings: mentions of reader being insecure

Word Count: 1301

Author's Note: I am so bad at coming up with titles for these things, so I apologize. This was another request from an anon, so I hope it's not too bad. Merry Christmas everyone ^ - ^

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ

Being the girlfriend of Lee Jeno made you feel like you were in a dream. Three years ago, you met through Jaemin. Due to your similar tastes, the two of you immediately hit it off. Then one year later, Jeno worked up the courage to confess his feelings and you guys became official.

Despite not having much experience, you could confidently say that Jeno was the perfect boyfriend. He treated you like a queen. He was affectionate, and he always had that adorable eye smile for you. Your relationship was full of cuddles, shy smiles, and frequent text messages when you weren’t together.

But lately, things haven’t been so nice.

From the beginning, you knew dating an idol wasn’t going to be easy. You were supportive of his career and tried your best to be understanding. Even if it meant canceled dates, and not seeing each other for weeks.

It’s been one of those months where your boyfriend has been busy preparing for his group’s upcoming album. When he did have free time, you guys couldn’t go out like normal couples. So Jeno would often invite you to his dorm, which you were fine with.

By the time you came over, however, you’d find him engrossed in some video game on his computer. All he mumbled was “hey,” when you entered his room. Other than that, he barely acknowledged your presence.

This has been happening a lot lately. You’d be sitting on his bed, pretending to be occupied with your phone. Every so often you glanced over to watch his hands dart from the mouse to the keyboard as the colorful screen shined through.

“Jeno-ssi,” You called his name softly. “Do you think we could—”

“Hold on, Jagi. Let me just beat this level,” He replied, without even looking at you.

These instances bothered you more than you liked to admit. You weren’t someone who called for a lot of attention from others, and it wasn’t like you were one of those clingy girlfriends. Was just a few minutes away from his gaming asking too much of him?

It wasn’t like you could do much at his dorms. But he could still make some effort to talk to you, right? Especially not seeing each other for days.

Nonetheless, you told yourself that you were just being oversensitive. You didn’t have the right to be upset. He was probably so tired from work, and he was relieving some stress through gaming. Who were you to criticize him?

You’ve always been the insecure type, nothing new. You’d get over this feeling soon, you told yourself.

A few days ago, you went to lunch with some of your university friends. Aside from the classes you shared, they often talked about their boyfriends. Oddly, you could never fully join the conversation because you hadn’t told them about Jeno. With him being an idol, it was safer to date quietly with very few people knowing.

“How are you and Dongmin doing?” One of your friends asked Misoo who was sitting across from you.

Misoo groaned, seeming annoyed by just the mention of her partner. “He’s been so frustrating lately. He always out with his friends and doesn’t answer my texts. He acts like I’m not even there.”

You sat up in your seat when hearing your friend was going through a similar situation. 

“Seriously? That’s awful,” Your other friend, Seona commented.

“Yeah, I’m probably going to break up with him,” Misoo sighed.

“But…haven’t you guys been together for almost a year now?” You asked, unsteadied by your friend’s words.

She nodded sadly, “We have. But when guys focus too much on their own thing and stop putting effort into the relationship, that means he isn’t interested in you anymore.”

“Really?”

Seona placed a hand on Misoo’s shoulder. “I agree. It’s better to break up now before you guys fight more and start to resent one another.”

That night, you lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. Sleep was out of the question when your friends’ words kept replaying in your head. Did Jeno not want to be with you anymore? 

He had become such a crucial part of your life. Jeno was always there during your hard times—even when you tried to push him away. The thought of separating from the one person that brought you so much happiness terrified you. You didn’t know if you could handle it.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.

“Is everything okay?” Jaemin sat down beside him after dance practice one day. He noticed the boy wearing a troubled expression.

Jeno sighed, “(Y/n) has been acting weird lately.”

“Why?”

“I asked her if she wanted to come over the other day. But she said she had a lot of homework to do, so she couldn’t.” 

He pulled out his phone to show Jaemin their past texts. All of your responses were short and turning down his invites. He also brought up how you haven’t been sending him the random cat videos you usually did.

“Maybe she’s mad at you,” Jaemin suggested.

Jeno leaned back against the couch, trying to think if he did anything to upset you lately. He then remembered the last few times you came over, and that’s when he realized. He’s barely paid any attention to you because he was so preoccupied with his game.

“Ugh, I messed up,” He groaned.

The latter gave his friend a quizzical look when he stood up. “Where are you going?”

“To see (Y/n),” Jeno answered quickly, grabbing his jacket. “I need to talk to her.”

You had been at home all day, doing homework, and studying for other classes. Trying not to think about Jeno was hard. Filling your time with university work was the only distraction you could come up with.

Late in the evening, your doorbell buzzed. Of course, the last person you expected to see was there when you answered the door.

“Jeno-ssi?” 

His ears were flushed red from the cold, as he stood with flowers in his hand and a box of chocolates. Not knowing what to think of this, you ushered him into your apartment. 

“What is all this?” You asked as he gave you the bouquet. Giving gifts was a rare thing between the two of you. 

Jeno scratched his head, “Jaemin said that blue hyacinths are the best apology flowers.”

“You didn’t need to do that,” You frowned, even though you were touched by this romantic gesture.

“No, I think I did. I’m sorry for taking our time together for granted.” He took your hand. “You’re always so understanding and patient. I shouldn’t have been so careless.”

The relief that washed over you was so heavy. Jeno’s eyes widened when he saw you begin to tear up. He quickly wrapped his arms around you. You closed your eyes, letting yourself sink into his embrace. It felt like it’s been so long since you guys hugged like this.

“I thought maybe you lost feelings for me,” You confessed quietly.

His arms squeezed tighter around your waist, and you felt his lips brush against your hair.

“Pabo, my love for you will never leave,” He spoke softly. “I’ll do a better job of showing you that, from now on.”

Looking back, this was just a minor bump in the road that the two of you were able to drive over. Jeno made sure to treasure you more so that you’d never feel insecure about your relationship again.

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ

[maliciousalice]

👕 & 🍽️? For the trek ask game

Heheh thanks for Asking Meg!!! All aboard another long winded ramble about my wife ST: Voyager!!!!!

👕 Character whose fashion you like.

While I answered in the last one, I think I'll add to it by saying I love the Ds9/Voyager Uniforms--Infact I'm a HUGE sucker for them--At least to me, they feel like THE signature trek costume rather than TNG or TOS ones. Plus, they are fun to draw! I love how they look on the actors with the structured upper half, and loose, high-waisted pants that give everyone the illusion of height.

Those that are dressed in the uniform are portrayed with a respectable heft and a pleasant, overall shape. I know it's not the case, but they look like they are really practical. This is fully intentional as the lead costume designer said they wanted the suits to appear modular and have advantages in different environments. That's why sometimes they are unzipped or twisted around, depending on the narrative.

I could go on and on about them. I act feral over how they look when when all the actors stand together, turned in various ways, posing so that that folds pucker on their joints, or when subtle differences in their body sizes take up screen. It just looks so cool! I'm a big fan of squad-based, colour-coded uniforms and clean silhouettes.

Most importantly though, it gives them all BODY-ODY-ODY!!!

AYO WHICH LOCATION THEY AT??? CW: GORILLA DUMPIES!!! 👀👀👀 😳😳😳😳

🍽️What alien food/drink would you want to try?

I wish I could find the video but I've seen bits and pieces about how they designed the food on the sets and I think it's super charming!

Lots of effort went into considering the cuisine. It just about decorates every set and It was important to the show. Voyager engaged in a lot visual gags, or dialog discussing food. It was in a comforting way that would present the characters with their personal ideals of home.I find that subtext of world-building really endearing.

Many scenes involved characters bonding in the mess hall, socializing around food, or isolating with it to gain a sense of self. In contrast, it's used as a device for diplomacy, or to make settings seem more alien, unnavigated and removed from regular comforts. It's even incorporated into main plot points, such as with Tuvok in ''Riddles'', when he gains a newfound skill around cooking after a serious accident, and he solves the plot by decorating a code on a cake. Through food, we saw a lot of what it could be like to be a crew member on the ship, and live inside their Universe. It wasn't always pretty but they made it work.

We have a really rich food bowl and diverse food-culture In Australia, I love noticing exotic food that are used as set decoration of as props--I am used to seeing tropical fruit or Asian ingredients around my community, so it's fun to see it transformed. And much like the characters in Voyager, I relate to the comfort and the charting of new territories when it comes to seeing/ eating food.

I suspect being a chef / working in hospitality would be an interesting occupation in Trek. Everyone complains about the lack of authenticity from replicated food, so I'm sure being a good Chef would be worth your while.

I genuinely want to try Old-mate Neelix's cooking. He seems so creative and passionate about what he plates up, and he CLEARLY (they all put on weight haha) kept the crew well-fed. ''Bitches make do'', but you can tell he cares by the questions he askes everyone, or the detail he places into his recipes. I'd like to see what all the fuss is about with Leeola Root Stew. I bet it's not that bad! (I like bitter food) Or better, serve me up a Jimbalian Fudge cake! It's so quaint how there is an evolution to his work as he gets more integrated with everyone.

(crying over this ^) Neelix Nation Rise Up!!!!