#so mom started making salmon

[gobstoppr]

more harm than good

alt ver. under the cut

[way2gosuperrstarr]

might be pulling an allnighter tonight . oh man

playing mediator/peacekeeper/babysitter for these animals,,

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

not to get too real but we're reaching that phase of the job hunt where i can feel myself becoming less human with every application

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ under your roof ]❜

ft. logan howlett x f! reader — xmen, marvel

╰₊✧ your baby daughter really likes uncle wade’s roommate, and logan would be lying if he said he didn’t form a quick attachment to the two of you as well┊2.9k words; prt one (here), prt two, prt three coming soon!!

setting: deadpool & wolverine (2024) worst! logan contains: probably occ logan, he’s on his best behavior, mostly fluff with a little side of angst, single mother reader with an unspecified age, this chapter is mainly between logan & your daughter, reader has a bad relationship with the father & he’s an asshole, one joking threat of stabbing

➤ author's note: this was so much fun to write! single mom reader and her daughter are so lovely and i have two more part featuring these two and logan coming up! i hope you guys enjoy

kids don’t like logan. it’s not a profound discovery nor is it a surprise to anyone who learns this fact. he’s intimidating enough to make some full-grown men piss themselves with so much as a glare, much less little babies who start sobbing uncontrollably when they see a giant scary man walking around believing that he would eat them or something even though he’s literally just standing there. whether the little ones have an instinct that signals him out as a mutant or he simply looks like a bad man from one of their fairy tales, he isn’t sure, but it’s not the best feeling either way when he’s trying to settle back into normal life with the constant weight of knowing that he’ll never fit in.

it doesn’t help that, in general, he isn’t good with kids either. he’s generally patient with their immaturity since they don’t know any better, but he finds the crying and whining extremely headache-inducing to his sensitive senses without a clue how to calm them down.

moving in with wade and acquainting himself with his friends was a start, but the missing part of his life to make him finally feel loved and at home was the family of two who lived downstairs. the first time he met you was also the first time he met your daughter when wade told him to dress a little nicer because the two of them were invited to your place for dinner. he explained that the two of you were practically siblings and that it would probably be something he should get used to, reminding him to “turn that frown upside down” because he was about to meet someone who “puts gordon ramsey to shame.”

the last bit sounded great to him, especially because no one in their household knew how to make anything more complicated than noodles without setting it on fire and the cost of outside food was really starting to tally up. still, he just wore some cargo pants and threw on a leather jacket, running his fingers through his hair once which was already a lot more effort than he’s ever put into meeting anyone else before.

wade didn’t even bother knocking, just being himself and picking the lock as he so typically does, kicking the door open and yelling a loud ass “daddy’s home!” which echoed throughout the apartment as well as the hallway they were standing in. the mouth-watering smell of grilled salmon filled the air, making wade hum in excitement, “do you need help with anything? taste testing, perhaps?”

“no, do me a favor and stay away from the kitchen!” your voice rang out loud and clear, sounding much like a mother scolding a teenager for the thousandth time. “i’ll stab you, do me a favor and just hang out in the living room.”

“okie-dokie!” he responded in an annoying sing-song voice, “come on, peanut, take off your shoes.” the said man could already tell how at home his roommate seemed in this place, just as comfortable as he was back home, walking with steps he’s taken many times before and prompting logan to do the same (except he was mainly keeping to himself and being much more mild-mannered in this unfamiliar area).

the place was as spacious as the small area could be and tastefully decorated, but all sharp corners of furniture were taped over to dull the edges and the carpet had multiple kinds of colorful toys littered about. in the center of it all, was a little toddler about two or three years old, playing with a kitchen set and trying to copy what her mom was doing by running back and forth between the living room and the kitchen. she didn’t even notice the two men at first, not until wade called out her name and she dropped the plastic utensils to clap her hands together before waddling over to him.

“hey, baby! how are you doing? did you miss me?” he cooed in the high-pitched voice reserved only for mary puppins, reaching down to pick up the girl by her underarms and kissing her cheek, spinning around with her in his arms as she giggled uncontrollably. “do you wanna meet the big scary wolverine while i go bother your mommy? who am i kidding, of course you do!” he then dropped her onto the couch, making sure that she didn’t bounce up too high on the cushion and hurt herself. “okay, you keep her company while i go see what’s for dessert— bye!”

before logan could say anything, he was already gone, disappearing around the corner into the sound of sizzling foods and the scent of herbs. pursing his lips together and shuffling his feet around for a second, he grunted and braced himself for the child to start sobbing uncontrollably because she was left alone with him. the first time he meets you, whom he’s heard so many good things about, is going to be when you have to kick him out with his tail in between his legs for disturbing the peace of your home.

but the cries never came, and his eyes met her big curious ones as she just stared up at him in silence. it was honestly a tad bit unnerving like she was sizing him up and carefully thinking about her next move. 

and then she started giggling like earlier, kind of a more gurgling noise of playfulness more than anything, standing at his feet and waving around her short outstretched arms to signal that she wanted uppies from him.

“oh no—“ he’s not sure why he even let out a word or protest to begin with when he knew she wouldn’t listen, but it was pure instinct since, once again, he had no idea how to handle children. although she would probably also start crying if he didn’t listen to her, so he reluctantly bent down to pick her up, holding her close to the side of his chest and nervously awaiting her next move.

she was motionless for a minute with a little hand on her chubby cheek and the other trying to clutch onto the thick leather of his jacket, eyes darting around like she was seeing the world from a new perspective for the first time even though he was a hundred percent certain wade held her like his when they are the same height.

“kitty!”

“what?”

she pointed at the top of his head, his hair tuffs specifically, and reached out to pull on one of them curiously.

“no— not a kitty!” he’s never going to escape that fucking nickname, he wouldn’t be surprised if his roommate taught her to say that before she met him in person, able to perfectly envision wade crouching in front of her with a stupid picture of him on his phone and training her to say “kitty” every time she saw his photo by rewarding her with candy or something since there is no way she associated someone who looks like him to a kitten so quickly unironically.

“no kitty?”

“no— logan, lo-gan.”

she tried to pronounce his name a few times before giving up after getting stuck in the second syllable, blowing a raspberry and going back to what she was doing earlier— finding the most fun in tugging on his cowlicks like she was trying to figure out if he naturally woke up like that with the inability to brush them down or styled them with gel every day.

he sat down on the couch, the cushion sinking under his heavyweight, and sat your daughter down on his lap instead, except she didn’t want to sit down. standing on his lap and pressing her little feet into his thighs, she began to climb onto his shoulder like he was a jungle gym, using his arms as stepping stones to reach her destination while he bent over at the waist to allow her to crawl onto his back without falling behind him.

“you’re like a little lemur,” he muttered, still in slight shock that this kid seemed to like him and wasn’t freaking out like he was the big bad wolf. he wouldn’t admit it, but it was a really nice feeling that gave him a sense of normalcy like he was just some guy rather than the killing machine mutant most knew him as. she wouldn’t stop giggling and holding onto him, which made him feel his ice-cold heart melting like snow by spring’s first touch. 

all the while, he could hear you and wade chatting away in the background: something about him needing to step away from the stove, how you needed to trust him because him starting “that fire” was a one-time thing, what was for dessert, and then taking a sharp turn when the conversation suddenly shifted to the topic of the father.

he felt somewhat guilty about listening in, but he knew that deadpool was going to tell him eventually, so there wasn’t really any harm in a bit of eavesdropping (besides, it would have been difficult to ignore considering that your baby was being very well-behaved and his hearing wouldn’t have been able to pick up on anything else.)

“so… any news about her dad?” the solemn tone of a man who was hardly ever serious a day of his life was more terrifying than anything he’d ever witnessed in his long life.

“... he suddenly wants to be a family man, i guess…”

“what the hell does that even mean?”

the sound of a knife chopping vegetables against a wooden surface slowly came to a stop followed by a sigh. “like he wants to have a family… just not with the one he already started… he’s busy planning his wedding with the girl he cheated on me with and told me not to contact him again for any reason.”

“oh my god, what an asshole! fuck that guy!”

“i can’t believe that was the guy i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with, could you imagine? i don’t even know what i could have done wrong for him to be like this— i asked him so many times and he just said that he’s ‘fallen out of love,’ has ‘moved on,’ and that i would ‘be cruel’ to ask him to stay even if it was for the sake of our child…”

“well if it’s any comfort, he would have been on the next episode of forensic files the second i got a moment alone with him— i mean, the last time we saw him, he literally pushed his own daughter away when she tried to hug him! what kind of sociopath wouldn’t adore such a cutie patootie, especially his own flesh and blood?! ”

“it’s fine,” you hissed, gritting your teeth at the memory. “it’s not like he’s done anything to deserve getting to be called a father to an angel anyway, i’ll take care of her myself— wait… didn’t i also invite your new roommate? did he not come?”

“no, he’s in the living room, he’s been here this entire time,” he informed, taking a bite out of an apple like an asshole from a film.

“and you didn’t tell me?!!!” you quickly ran into the said area, finding logan and your daughter together on the couch. “hi! oh, i’m so sorry i didn’t come to greet you properly— and left my daughter for you to look after too— god, i’m just a terrible host!” you tilted your head, “what’s your name?”

he then realized he was staring which was rather impolite, mouth slightly agape too like a fish out of water which left a few seconds of awkward silence in between. “i-i’m logan,” he managed to sputter, “nice to meet you..”

wade raised a nonexistent eyebrow at his strange mannerisms before a wide, shit-eating grin split his face. 

“aww, baby, why are you bothering this poor old man— come to mommy, it’s dinnertime,” you clapped your hands and held them out fully expecting her to reach out and grab onto you as she usually does, but instead she looked up at you with big pleading eyes and held onto him even more tightly like a koala clinging to a branch. “oh, did you get attached already? you really are my daughter… logan, could you do me a favor and put her in her high chair while i plate everything?”

“yes, of course.”

you turned back into the kitchen, leaving the two men to follow with one holding your baby in his arms. all it took was one look to understand what he was thinking, logan didn’t need to be a telepath to know. 

“if you don’t shut the fuck up—”

“i didn’t even say anything!”

“good, keep it that way.”

love at first sight, wade has seen it plenty of times and understands it well, something so unpredictable and powerful, that it could bring the wolverine down on his knees. it’s even more potent when he trips over himself seeing you in your natural environment instead of all dressed up for a first date, slightly sweaty from the heat radiating off the stove, unkempt hair sticking to the sides of your face, no makeup or defenses up— just you as yourself to the core.

“alright, bub, let's get you seated…” it took a few tries to get her in because she refused to align her little legs into the holes of the plastic piece, but she eventually got into it just fine and he pulled up his own chair to watch you place a one of the most decadent plates of pasta with chunks of salmon he’s ever seen in front of him with a word of gratitude. 

“sorry it isn’t anything special, i completely forgot that i arranged this in the first place….”

“oh, no, it’s perfect—”

“you’re damn right ‘it’s perfect!’” wade interjected, “lemme tell you, wolvie, this simple plate of pasta is better than sex, i know damn well you’ve never tasted anything like it in all your two-hundred years!”

“well, now that you say it like that, he’s going to have high expectations and it will taste like ass compared to the actual best pasta dish he’s ever had.”

“he likes ass, don’t worry—”

the said man cleared his throat to steer the conversation back around, feeling the foreign sensation of embarrassment burning his face hit him at full force. “it’s delicious, thank you, truly the best i’ve ever tasted.”

“aw, you don’t have to say that.”

“no, he’s right, i think you really outdid yourself this time!”

the dinner was carried by cheerful conversations and fun stories, and despite just meeting you today, logan almost felt like he knew you for years and this was something a commonplace tradition between loved ones which was something he’s been yearning for for as long as he can remember. as he watches you laugh and feed your adorable baby, he can’t help but wonder about the idiotic man who was willing to throw away something so wonderful— something which would complete his life and fill the void in his heart.

“well, you two can hang around while i clean her up and put her to bed. there’s some wine and beer in—” you watched as deadpool had already opened your fridge and was digging around like a raccoon in trash before fishing out two bottles of beers and closing the door with his hips. “alrighty then, i’ll join you two in a bit.”

he watched as you disappeared into the hallway before diving headfirst into the couch next to the wolverine and handing him his beer, kicking his feet and smiling as if he was a middle-schooler at an all girls’ sleepover. “okay, so she has a solid job as an accountant, has her own place and car, is funny and pretty, but most importantly for you, single. she doesn’t like flowers as gifts, but if you gift her groceries or cleaning supplies—”

“she wouldn’t want an asshole like me,” he grunted, taking a sip from the bottle. “not when she just got free from another one.”

“peanut, i met the other guy, you’re infinitely better than him! as much as i would like to keep you to myself, i have already planned out my speech at your wedding as your best man, so just keep in mind that i’m your wingman, okay? don’t lie to me either, i know you have a little crush, and i think she does too—”

“no, she doesn’t.”

“quit cutting me off, you motherfucker!”

it was easier to try and suppress the sprouting seed of infatuation before it bloomed out of control. he didn’t want to hurt you or himself by chasing something that shouldn’t be in the first place. you deserve better, you and your daughter. you both should have someone who was younger and had the energy to be a good father and husband, not some old mutant who was freeloading off of his roommate and terrified of losing more people he cared about. if you knew about the blood on his hands and the claws embedded in them, you would probably be worried that you allowed him to hold your baby and shun him permanently. 

and yet he was already attached, sitting here imagining domestic life where he could see her grow up through the phases of life and help her navigate its complexities while also waking up next to you in his arms and seeing your beautiful smile everyday. 

maybe he won’t let that glimmer of hope die out and just hold onto it for a little while longer, allowing it to leave a little lingering smile on his weary face.

[respectthepetty]

I am a MosBank Truther!

I do not hate all fan service. I think it's good to see men casually touch each other in public AND get paid to do it. My favorite pairs for fan service are MaxTul, who WILL return to me one day; YinWar, who understand the "Business Gay Performance" concept; JoongDunk, who are my GMMTV fighters; and MosBank. But unlike all of these other 200 branded pairs running around in BL Land, I actually think MosBank are a real couple, and I truly believe that they are already married. *looking you directly in your eyes* I'm serious. And I have thirty images from their recent appearance on the Har Tum Show to prove it.

But first, if you are not familiar with this show, Eclair is the host and she invites guests over to cook while she shit talks, and babygirl is quick. Jes and Bible from 4 Minutes were recently on, and while Jes matched Eclair's energy as this was his second appearance on the show, Bible was lost in the sauce, which only made their appearance even more delightful. And the reason is because homegirl casually drops sex jokes and snappy quips into the conversation, so guests must be on their toes to keep up.

AND MOSBANK CAME PREPARED!

Bank and Mos already know Eclair. Bank knows her from college, and Mos knows her from mutual friends *cough* Bank *cough* so they got down to business quick, and by business, I mean dick jokes. They are making deep-fried shrimp sushi, so Bank immediately holds the cucumber to size it up, and Eclair jumps into Bank's blowjob skills after briefly discussing how many shrimp are in the meal. +2 for talking about oral sex five minutes in.

This prompts Bank to sing "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid (in English) because it ties into the discussion of the ingredients needed for the meal (shrimp, seaweed, salmon) and blowjobs. No points given because even though Bank can sing, Ariel doesn't deserve to take strays about blowjobs.

Mos discloses that Bank's family owns a durian farm, so the queer movie of the moment The Paradise of Thorns gets mentioned, but Bank throws in his critique that they are more like The Paradise of Scorns. +2 for Bank's wittiness and Mos' sensible chuckle

Then Bank reveals that he is the one who scouted Mos for Star Hunter because he was thirsting over Mos' pictures on social media. +4 because Bank . . . same. I, too, would slide into Mos' DMs after perusing his socials.

As the conversation continues, both men confess that they hated school, but Bank is the smarter one on paper ONLY because he knew he wanted to be an actor and didn't want to appear dumb, so he got tutoring to get rid of his country accent and up his grades, while Mos only got his grades up because his mom sent him to an all-boys school in Bangkok 💀 Eclair is surprised because she thinks Bank plays up the "dumb-blonde" persona, and they joke that's a good thing because he can get away with it. +6 for Mos and his all-boy school

And then we get into the domesticity! Mos and Bank have randomly mentioned they live together throughout the years, so Eclair starts asking questions about their home life. Mos likes to do the chores. Bank likes to shop.

Eclair thinks Bank would feel guilty for not helping Mos with the chores, but both men correct her that Mos likes doing these things, and if Mos was her boyfriend, he'd gladly do it for her too. +10 because Bank does not cook nor does he clean, but he got that ring!

Because Mos seems too perfect to be true, Bank throws him under the bus and admits it bothers him that Mos doesn't say he loves people or misses them NOT EVEN HIS PARENTS OR FAMILY! -2 only because Bank brings this up every year in their Valentine's Day videos, and Mos still is tight-lipped.

But he quickly recovers because he says Mos isn't a man of too many words and actually shows his love through actions, like buying him a Celine bag and other stuff that he cannot mention even though Eclair pressures him to share. No points given

Eclair asks if either one of them gets upset easily, but specifically targets Bank since he is known for having an attitude in their travel videos when he is hungry or tired. +2 to Eclair for being shady

Once they sit down to enjoy the meal that Mos has basically single-handedly made for them, the conversation gets sad when Bank mentions he just wants a good life for his parents and how he misses his grandma, who was his biggest supporter but died during the pandemic so he didn't get to see her before she passed.

It's a heavy moment, but Eclair spins it and asks Mos if he has any sad tales to tell, to which Bank immediately answers that Mos' family is nothing but happy vibes and good times. +1 for the look exchanged between Bank and Eclair because people who have happy families make us all a little sick.

Eclair latches on to the fact that Bank answered the question about Mos' family, and Mos casually responds that Bank would know because he has met his family, several times, since he goes home with Mos, each time. +4 because this is the domesticity that has me convinced they are already married since they are holding hands under the table.

From the way Mos is talking, it's clear the boys stay AT his parents' house when they visit, so Eclair asks if Mos' mom ever hears them.

Mos, in a serious voice, instantly replies that they are quiet.

Bank bursts into laughter, but Eclair isn't done and wants to know what quiet things are done quietly, so Mos offers the only acceptable answer - "Whatever Bank wants" +100 points for Mos being perfect

The conversation gets back to the original point of Bank visiting Mos' family and the guys talk about the first time Bank went home with Mos. The aunties were aflutter when they saw Bank with Mos and because Mos comes from a small community, the entire village practically knew before they even got to the house.

They even recreate the aunties on the street breaking their necks to get a glimpse of Mos' rich boy. +3 for the way the boys deliver it

When they were walking the streets or at the market, they knew people were talking about them (out of curiosity), but whenever Mos or Bank would acknowledge them, the aunties would scatter. +1 for knowing that small town talk is not a negative thing but a way of sharing news

Everywhere they went, people would already know who Bank was because the chisme was running rampant! +2 because the boys are telling the hell out of this story and they are telling it TOGETHER, like both are telling it at the same time. It's glorious!

And since we understand that they were staying AT the parents' house, it seems as if they were also staying in the same room since Grandpa came to collect them once aunties started standing outside of the house wanting to take pictures with them. +2 since Mos is thrilled that Bank was so popular with his people

After the story, Eclair puts on her business cap and opens the door for the guys to talk about their various projects and socials, but the lady is a professional who can turn anything into a sex joke.

MosBank have a YouTube channel called Mong Biew which is a play on their names, but Eclair asks if it's a play on "Bong Biew" which apparently means tilted, and at first I thought she was making a straight/gay joke, but nope! It's a dick joke because Mos proudly declares that it's straight!

And I'm giving Mos another +100 points because this kid gets it! I thought Bank was going to easily steal the show, while Mos was busy cooking, but Mos is just as quick and snappy with his comebacks. He isn't just a Instagram thirst trap! The boy's got moxie!

Because this is still business, the guys give their product placement spiel for an anti-bloat mix, Air-X, and Eclair quickly turns capitalism on its head when she gets Bank to admit he farted on set during one of his romantic scenes with Mos. +4 points to Eclair for making a product placement hilarious and getting the chisme!

And the show wraps up with Eclair giving Air-X another spotlight as she states it's the second item Bank would pack for a trip AFTER HE PACKS CONDOMS!

2000 POINTS TO MY FAVORITE MARRIED COUPLE because we all win when the aunties approve of the boyfriend and Eclair can get a good dick joke or ten out of it!

[idunnoficsorsumthing]

Dinner secrecy

Warnings: Smut therefore 18+ readers only. 

Summary: Harvey holds a dinner at his house.

You looked over to where Jessica, Louis and Harvey were talking in Jessica’s office. You mewled at the fact that they were in a meeting leaving out the younger associates out of their chit chat meetings. You were sitting in your cubicle that had the perfect view of  Jessica’s office. You quickly turn your gaze from the meeting to your computer when you see Harvey turn his chair to look back at you. You looked up again when you felt like his gaze was no longer on you. Harvey had been a little flirtatious with you from the start of your time at Pearson Hardman, it was only a matter of time before you fell for him. It didn’t take much, he was handsome, funny when he wanted to be and oh so good in bed. The two of you had been dating for a while now. It was strictly a secret, no one knew, no one was allowed to get suspicious. Something the both of you agreed on. You were Jessica’s associate, you were at her beck and call. No way she would take it well for you to be screwing one of the senior partners. You heard the voices of the partners talking as the glass door opened and the men walked out. You try to keep your eyes solely focused on your computer screen. You feel a man towering over your cubicle. “I am holding an unexpected dinner tonight for some people here at the firm.” Harvey said, you looked up. “Who?” you asked. He was leaning against the side of your cubicle. “Senior partners, their associates, and  very pretty paralegals.” he said, you would get angry at him for calling Rachel pretty if it wasn’t thar she and Mike were eye fucking each other every ten minutes. “I want you to be at my place by five” he said, you nod. “Early dinner". you huffed. “Dinner is at seven. I’m going to need an extra set of hands, sweetheart.” he said, walking off. 

You gave Jessica some weak excuse why you needed to leave earlier, and she told you to make sure you would be there at Harvey’s dinner, considering it was basically a late planned work function. You joked you would only show up if you could bill the hours and then you got a glare as you were walking out. You were unwrinkling your skirt as you made it up the last few steps till the elevator of Harvey’s building. His doorman is already familiar with you, letting you up. You contemplated bringing a bottle of wine. However, you know that whatever you would be able to afford wasn’t to Harvey’s liking anyway so you decided against that. You waited impatiently for the elevator to reach his floor. The ride up seems slower than normally. However, normally you were impatiently tapping your feet a little to get to him or you would be with Harvey himself as he had his lips against yours or peppering kisses along your neck. You finally reach his door and you open it with the spare key he gave you weeks ago. “Thank god, you are here.” He said he was wearing an apron and standing over a cutting board. You stood beside him looking over the recipe pages and seeing him cutting vegetables. “Why didn’t you hire a private chef?” you asked. He groaned. “Louis,” he huffed. You had only seen Harvey use his kitchen once when he was making soup for you after an especially wild night the two of you had and walking had seemed a bit of a struggle. “He bet me money that I could not do it without a private chef.” he said, you take the recipe cards he printed and look over the recipes. “ Smoked Salmon Crawfish and dill mousse? Pan fried duck breast with spiced orange and cranberry?” You asked, puzzling yourself over the instructions. “What? I thought you said you knew how to cook.” he said, putting down the kitchen knife, and focusing his body towards yours, he slithered his arm around your waist. “Yes, like some kind of mom, not fucking Gordon Ramsay.” You hissed. He chuckled. Pressing his lips to your jawline pecking soft kisses as to convince you why you should help him. “You’ll get extremely lucky tonight if you pull it off.” he said, you knew when it was time to push your luck when he wanted something from you, usually what he wanted from you was sex. You looked into his dark brown eyes, as he gave you the eyes he gave girls when he wanted to smooth talk them, his thumb rubbed circles over your skin as he was holding you, pressing his pelvis against your side. “I want a drawer.” You said, he raised his eyebrow. You had a spare toothbrush next to his already. But, he had yet to give you space in his big bachelor pad for you. “That’s it?” he asked. You nod. “Then we have an agreement.” he said, he sealed the deal with a kiss on your lips. “You are a terrible negotiator, sweetheart.” He said: “I would’ve given you half my closet.” he taps your ass as he walks over to the fridge. 

It was less than half an hour till everyone would show up for dinner. You were busy with the duck as you made Harvey focus on setting the table. In the fridge were enough starters that he just had to plate out, in the oven the vegetables and potatoes were baking, and the duck was almost cooked medium rare. Otherwise it would taste like shoe leather. You could feel Harvey’s big arms around your waist. “I can’t wait for dessert.” he said, you looked confused. You had made creme brulees that were now cooling on the counter, and only needed to be popped into the oven real quick right before dessert. “I didn’t know you liked creme brulee so much.” you said, as you moisten the duck with moisture from the pan. “I meant you.” he said, as he started to lightly suck on your neck. “Anybody can arrive any moment.” you mumbled. You didn’t stop his advances, instead you turned off the fire on the stove. He allowed you space to turn around. You wrap your arms around his neck. He had loosened his tie earlier, and rolled up his sleeves when he was helping you around in the kitchen. “You want to taste?” you asked, you leaned back and dipped your finger on the spoon that had been used to stir the duck. You held up the finger to his mouth as he lightly sucked off the sauce. “You’ve been holding out on me.” he teased. A smile appeared on your face. You could’ve stayed here for a while if you could but the doorbell rang, and Harvey signed before walking to the door as you switched your place to sitting at the bar, taking your wine glass in hand. 

You sat across from Harvey, you had been playing footsie with him for the past twenty minutes. Louis shoved the betting money across the table for Harvey, and now it was still sitting there in the middle. Everyone was chattering away, when Jessica sat down from going to the bathroom. “Do you have a new girlfriend, Specter?” She asked. You quickly take your foot away from his lap. You took your wine glass and took a gulp. “I don’t know what makes you think that.” He said, swirling his scotch. A lot of faces turned to Jessica and Harvey. A smile appeared on her face. “The pink bottles of shampoo and conditioner on the side of your shower.” She said: “The second toothbrush.” Harvey rolled his eyes. He usually never did. However, Jessica brought it out in him as he used to say. “They are Mike’s.” he said dead serious. “Sometimes I even let him sleep at my foot.” Mike was the only one that didn’t laugh when the laughter filled the room. “Fine. Don't tell me.” Jessica said, though she had the look on her face that said she’d figure it out. 

You left Harvey’s place around the time Rachel left together the two of you went with the subway home. You finally reach your place when you get a text. 

[Harvey] Come back

[Y/n] Are Louis and Mike still there?

[Harvey] I’ll get rid of them

[Y/n] I’ll think I will just go to sleep

[Harvey] No

[Y/n] i’m tired

[Harvey] I need to see you

[y/n] you saw me thirty minutes ago

[Harvey] Don’t make me come to Brooklyn Heights

[Y/n] I don’t live in Brooklyn Heights

[Y/n] Must’ve been your other girlfriend

[Harvey] ha ha just get your cute ass here

There was still hesitation to go back to Harvey’s considering you just spent almost half an hour getting home. It would be half an hour back as well. In downtown Brooklyn almost everything that had something to do with Pearson Hardman took a while. You pictured what would happen if you’d go to his right now. But, as you were considering the pros and cons you already started to pack a clean outfit for tomorrow morning to take with you. 

When you got back to Harvey’s apartment he was loading up his dishwasher.”Well look at you cleaning, and cooking.” you said, as you threw your weekend bag to the ground. “I knew you’d come back.” he said, you signed. You sit down at the barstool at his kitchen counter. “You look hot doing manual labor, you know.” you said, he chuckled. “This is hardly manual labor.” he said, you shrugged. “For you it seems it is.” you teased. He gave you the glare that said he was going to make you pay for that comment later. 

He had been making you pay for that comment earlier, with your hands tied up to the bedpost with one of his expensive ties. He had made you cum at least two times already ordering you to orgasm on his fingers. He was motioning his hips in and out of you as you pulled at the tie rope, wanting him to continue to fuck you even if everything felt overly sensitive and borderline painful as you kept moaning his name. “I told you that you’d get lucky tonight.” He said, slowing his pace a little to allow you to catch your breath. You were a mumbling mess just a string of incoherent words flowed from yours lips. Once Harvey mentioned he might love you most like this. He teased you by taking your breast into his hand, allowing his tongue to create circles over your nipple causing you to gasp. You couldn’t keep your eyes open as the pleasure kept building within. “Eyes on me, sweetheart” he said, taking your chin in one hand making you open your eyes, and look at him as he picked up a harder pace. All you wanted to do was touch his skin, and have something to hold on when it got too much. You pushed yourself to him, and kissed his lips, intensifying the experience. You begged him to make you cum, and the hand went from your chin to your clit as he motioned a pattern. You cried out his name as you felt pleasure come over you. He continued to chase his own high, as he hid his face in your neck, until he stiffened in his own pleasure. It took the two of you a moment to catch your breath, he got up and put on his underwear. He took his phone from his nightstand, you look at him wondering if he forgot. “Hey, can you untie me?” you asked him. He looked at you letting his eyes gaze top to bottom. “No, you look sexy like this.” he said, in return he got a glare coming from you. He decided to untie you, he looked you deep in the eye. “There is space in the closet for you.” He said: “next time, bargain your worth.” he pecked a kiss on your lips.

[fbfh]

HIHIHI I LOVE YOUR WORK AND ID LOVE TO DROP A REQUEST<33

HOW WOULD THE HOO BOYS ACT TO THE READER OWNING A CAT? DO YOU THINK THE CAT WOULD LIKE HIM? HATE HIM?<3

YOU'RE SO TALENTED, IT'S AWESOME

BAAAAABES YOU ARE SO SWEET!!!!! SUCH A CUTIE PATOOTIE!!!!!!

Percy is pleasantly surprised. he wonders how he didn't know you have a cat, and starts asking you everything he can think of. do you have any other pets? what's your favorite animal? how did you come up with your cat's name? how long have you had them? he wants to know everything about you that he didn't before. while you lay with your head on his stomach as he picks your brain, you find yourself pleasantly surprised too. your cat will not leave Percy alone. kitty purrs, rubbing against him, demanding cuddles and belly rubs. kitty tries to move you off Percy so they can lay on him instead. kitty licks him, and you watch, giggling.

"I probably just taste like fish." Percy jokes, cuddling kitty right back.

Jason is a little scared of your cat. not because he doesn't like cats, but because he feels like he needs to impress them, gain their approval. and we all know that the more you try to make a cat like you, the more they'll ignore you. you explain this to Jason, but it does little to soothe his inner turmoil over the thought of not being approved by your beloved pet. he starts rubbing cat nip on himself before he comes over, bringing bouncy fuzzy mice and lickable salmon fillet flavored treats. he's armed to the teeth, determined to make your kitty at neutral towards him. slightly favorable would be a huge win in his book. your cat can smell his fear, and thinks it's... kind of funny. after three treats and enough whiffs of catnip coming off him, kitty butts their head against Jason, tail curling in approval before trotting off to nap in the window. never in your life have you seen Jason look so triumphant.

"Good. Good. This is good." You cut him off with a kiss before he can show you his 16 step plan to win over your cat.

you swear your cat loves Leo more than you. you can't believe your eyes when your cat runs right over to him when you bring him home.

"hey gaitito," he chuckles, bending down to give your now purring cat a scratch behind the ears. "look at you."

I swear to god cats are drawn to Leo. in Houston they would gather around his apartment building when he was a kid. he would sneak the neighborhood strays snacks and leftovers, naming them after tv characters from his mom's favorite telanovelas. your kitty is no different. they follow you two around all day, purring and demanding attention. they lay on his chest, drooling when he scratches their chin. never in your life have you seen a cat drool. but you drool over Leo a lot too, so you guess you're in good company.

Frank first meets your cat when you call him, asking for advice. your cat has been weird lately, and seems to be avoiding your kitchen. they won't eat or drink in there, and you can't figure out why. Frank shows up at your place, greets you with a kiss, and you bring him over to couch your kitty is curled up on. in the blink of an eye, Frank transforms himself into a large, gray, maine coon tabby cat. he trots over to your kitty, who wakes up with a little chirp. they stare at each other for a moment, making an occasional noise, tails flicking. your cat gets up and trots to the kitchen door, and Frank follows, entering hesitantly. he leaves as a human a moment later, nodding his head.

"It's white noise from your new humidifier." he explains, your cat's eyes trained on him the whole time. you had no idea one of the perks of dating Frank was dating an animal whisperer, and he tells you and your cat he's happy to help translate any time.

[bigfootsmom]

Wip Wednesday

I have missed so many tag games but thank you to everyone who kept tagging me <3 <3 <3 thank you to the lovely @princessfbi, @bidisasterevankinard, and @tizniz for the wip Wednesday tags <3 <3 <3

So…. I started something new and finished nothing old. Sorry.

His parents last a week. Almost.

They make it six full days. Then, on the morning of the seventh day since Buck had been discharged from the hospital, they’re gone. Bags packed and tucked neatly into the back of an Uber on its way to the airport.

Buck wishes he had been surprised, wishes that his parents’ flimsy excuses and hollow apologies hadn’t all been echoes of what he’s heard before — “You know I don’t do well far from home, and your father has an important meeting. We would stay if we could, but you know how it is. We’ve already spent so much time here.”

Six days. Buck died and he still only manages to get his parents’ attention for six days.

When his parents had told him on the evening of the sixth day that their flight was booked — Buck was five years old with skinned knees, he was seven years old with a broken arm, he was ten with the flu and desperately wishing his mom would cross the safe distance she was always keeping and just hold him.

The bitter taste in his mouth as he had choked down his dinner had nothing to do with the pills he had swallowed, and the ache in his chest was something that ran far deeper than his broken ribs.

He fell for it again. He thought— he doesn’t know what he thought, but he had hoped it would be different. Buck had hoped their love wouldn’t have an expiration date this time around.

Tagging: @usersiren @holdmygum @swiftietartt @honestlydarkprincess @maygrantgf

@shyaudacity @eddiebabygirldiaz @roy-kents @buddie-buddie @homerforsure

@mellaithwen @bisexual-buck @underwaterninja13 @father-salmon @devirnis

@giddyupbuck @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @lonelychicago @loveyouanyway

@diazsdimples @topdiaz @shortsighted-owl @smallandalmosthonest, and YOU if you want to post something!!!

[mintymarabell]

you do amazing with the elder's son asks, could you write something with elder's daugther reaction to her old father having a human mate and how could they bond? ty!!

An elder yautjas daughter

At first she’ll be a little snobby about it, she’ll hold her nonexistent nose up in the air when she walks around you.

You’d most likely have to do something impressive or save her for her to actually start liking you.

Like if you genuinely save her life and nurse her back to health she will instantly become your baby.

As you nursed her back she ate all that babying stuff up so now she comes around quite often, she’ll tug at your shirt with that sweet little sparkle asking you to make her salmon rice bites.

And if you make her the food? She’ll be sitting at the table sweetly waiting, she’ll hunt and bring you back pretty trophies so you can make her some good comfort foods.

Unlike a son, a daughter is more likely to be up in your business.

She’ll wanna know everything, all the things going on all the whole she’s pressed against you resting her head on your shoulder. (Even if she’s badly hunched over)

She tries to compete for you attention with her father, she’ll make her skulls she brings pretty with flowers and leaves so you’ll make her something. Your mate just standing off to the side watching his grown eighty year old daughter be treated like she’s a pup.

Paint her nails. PLEASE PAINT HER NAILS.

She’ll want green or red. She’ll secretly ask if you can put poison into the polish so if she claws at something it’ll kill them. Though she quickly dropped that idea when her father told her she could accidentally scratch and kill you.

She’ll sheepishly tell you not to make the poisoned polish all the while she fiddled with your shirt as she if she a child.

She likes taking you out to places and people watch.

You both gossip like middle aged moms when you see someone y’all know.

She’s most likely bigger than your mate, in turn. She takes up the whole bed. Sometimes she just wants you to be near so she just shoves herself between you and your mate. Your poor mate now on the floor and grumbling about how he can’t even cuddle his own mate.

She braids your hair for you. She’s rough when she does it but she’ll do it for you. The first time you asked her she looked at you like you committed adultery, when you explained human hair can be touched with no meaning behind it she just shrugged and braided your hair.

She 100% has made you food that was WAY to spicy or undercooked. Her father lectured her for it because she could’ve killed you. she WILL get hurt by this, she didn’t wanna hurt you. She just wanted to feed you like you do her. :(

She’ll go above and beyond to make this dish perfect, she’ll even steal a human from earth to taste test it. When the human says it’s good shakily she’ll happily take the dish and run it to you. She’ll kneel down and present to you, holding her breath as you chew and hoping you like it.

She will SWELL with pride when you say you like it. Like she’d be grinning like a fool if she had lips to smile with.

This will spark something in your mate to make you something even better.

Now you have two yautja who are competing over whose food is better.

[thebeast-dennis-etcetera]

Gibbs Knows Best

Gibbs x Reader One Shot

Prompt: Gibbs is over for a dinner date when your daughter gets into a car accident.

Notes: Just Gibbs being his usual protective self. Mentions of a panic attack.

————

Running into the kitchen, you stopped the little cooking timer and put your oven mitts on to pull the delicious smelling salmon out of the oven. You threw a few spices on top and then got started on the mashed potatoes.

The dinner you were preparing was your idea since it was so hard to get Jethro available for longer than a day or so before he would get another case. It was only your 4th date but everything was going so well. Even your daughter was a fan and she hadn’t even met him yet.

You weren’t sure if he told his team about you but you had told your own coworkers plenty about him. The way he’s such a gentleman, always offering help or paying for everything every time you two went out as much as you would try to convince him otherwise.

You heard the front doorbell ring and went over to open it, seeing Jethro standing there in his work suit but holding a small bouquet of flowers.

“I picked these up on the way,” he offered with a small smile. You took them and let him in, letting him give you a small peck on the cheek.

“Smells great. Salmon?”

“Yeah. I was just about to make the mashed potatoes and the asparagus is keeping warm in the oven.”

He followed you into the kitchen and immediately took his jacket off and rolled up his sleeves to continue where you left off as you looked for a vase.

“How was work?” you asked for small talk. He never went deep into conversation about his work but you’d thought it’d still be nice to ask.

“Alright. Got the bad guy.”

You filled the vase halfway with water and trimmed the stems before putting them in and setting it on your kitchen counter.

“That’s always a win.”

Your phone started ringing and your daughter’s Face ID popped up on the screen. She was suppose to be spending the night at a friend’s and you hoped everything was ok as you answered.

“Hey sweetie, what’s up?”

The sound of your daughter’s scared voice shot a jolt of fear through you.

“Are you alright? Where are you?”

Your frantic questions caught Jethro’s attention who stopped cooking to listen.

“Ok. I’ll be right there, don’t go anywhere,” you advised, hanging up the phone and turning the oven off.

“Everything alright?” Jethro asked.

“No. My daughter just got into a car accident. I have to go, I’m sorry.”

“Well let’s go,” he simply stated, turning the stove off and going over to put his jacket back on. You could’ve told him that you were fine and could go by yourself but decided to welcome his help as you both rushed out of the house, taking his car, red and blue lights flashing all the way there.

>>>>

As you rounded the corner, you could see half the street blocked off as fire engines and cop cars were parked in the middle. You saw two cars. One was smashed into a light pole and the other a few hundred feet away, visibly damaged.

Parking as close as you could, the both of you got out and made your way through the nosy crowd of onlookers, catching the attention of the officers.

“Please stay back with the rest of the crowd ma’am.”

Before you could protest, Jethro spoke for you.

“Special Agent Gibbs, let her through. Her daughter is one of the injured,” he ordered, flashing his badge. The officer nodded and stepped aside, allowing you to come through. You saw your daughter over on the sidewalk, talking with the EMT’s looking seemingly unharmed and called her name.

“Mom!” She ran over and you hugged her tight.

“Mom, I’m so sorry! I didn’t know he had been drinking so much! Sean..I don’t think he made it..”

She was crying hysterically and trying to catch her breath but failing. You knew a panic attack was coming on but there wasn’t much you could do. It was something she had struggled with ever since her father died 3 years ago.

“Honey, you gotta calm down.”

She shook her head, only crying harder. “It’s..my..fault..”

“No honey, it’s not. You can’t blame yourself for this.”

You were surprised when you saw Jethro walk over and take your place, putting his hands on her arms.

“Hey, I’m a friend of your moms. Let’s go over here,” he said, leading her a little further away from the crowd and accident. He then had her sit down on the grass, crouching down in front of her.

“Let’s get your breathing slowed down alright? I want you to take a big breath in for every 3 seconds ok? 1..2..3, big breath.”

He held onto her hands that were shaking and opened them up, keeping them from cramping while chanting his count.

“That’s it. 1..2..3..Now let’s take a big breath and hold it for a second before letting it out, alright?”

You watched the two of them counting and breathing together before eventually her breaths became slower as she calmed down. He continued massaging her hands, making her open and close them.

“Better? I know this was a lot to handle but your mom’s here and I’m here. You’re safe and that’s what matters.”

He gestured for you to come over and you sat down next to her, pulling her into your side, giving him a grateful look. He gave a small smile in return and stood up.

“I’m gonna go see what’s going on and see if we’re clear to take her home.”

You nodded and he left to speak with a few of the officers as your daughter stayed quiet, occasionally sniffling and taking in a deep breath.

>>>>

After a few questions answered, we were given the ok to leave. The drive home was silent except for the low music playing on the radio and Jethro’s hand never left yours.

Once home, you sent your daughter upstairs to take a shower and change as you and Jethro went into the kitchen. He pulled you in for a hug, allowing you to let out a shaky breath, while holding back tears.

“Thank you. For me and her. It usually takes forever for her to get out of an attack like that.”

“I’ve had a bit of experience with anxiety attacks in the past so I just did what usually helped me.”

You pulled back to look up at him and leaned in for a gentle kiss.

“This wasn’t how I wanted the two of you to meet.”

“Well we can try again tomorrow morning if you’d like,” he proposed.

“Are you suggesting you spend the night?”

Neither one of you had spend the night over at either one’s house yet but his question got your hopes up.

“Is that ok? I can sleep on the couch if you’d like-“

“No. I mean no I’m not gonna have you sleep on the couch. And of course you can spend the night.”

“Good. I’ll make the coffee, you make the eggs?”

“Deal.” You couldn’t hold back the grin and gave him another deep kiss.

[sunnyie-eve]

39 | Cutie

Series: Unexpected

Paring: (Matt Sturniolo x OFC Brock!) (Chris Sturniolo x OFC Brock!)

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: none

| MASTERLIST |

"Some cuties for the cutie." Matt holds a bag up smiling at Dani as she films him.

"Eww, Nick you film now." Dani passes the camera to him.

"Devastating news, they don't have my asparagus." Matt lets the viewers know, "But they do have Chris's zucchini. So even though I'm the head chef tonight. I will have a partner in crime."

"No, not Chris again..." Dani whines walking away.

"I want pineapple." Nick tells Chris, who was holding the camera now.

"Away from Dani." Matt quickly turns around to look at him.

"That's why I don't wanna get it at the same time."

"I really don't want to go to the hospital again so let's not please." Dani walks aways.

"Dani is fired." Matt tells the group as they keeping shopping.

"Excuse me?" She looks at him.

"You're fired." He repeats himself.

"From what exactly?" She asks lost.

"Fired from the kitchen!" He shouts at her.

"You didn't have to yell!" She shouts back at him making Nick tell them to hush. "You can't fire me because I'm the best cook."

"That's debatable."

Dani can't help but laugh, "Bullshit."

"It will be now. I'm gonna prove that I'm better than you at cooking."

"Okay." She keeps laughing at him.

Once they get home the guys set up, while Dani was in her room cleaning up. She comes across a lot of Matt's dirty clothes, "Matty! Get this out of my room!" Dani yells from her room so he could get his dirty clothes out her laundry basket.

"What? We can't we share?"

"I don't put my clothes in your basket." She laughs at him.

"No, you just help yourself to wearing all my clothes." He gives her a look.

"Okay, you win." She gives up so he leaves her room with a smile.

"Guys, I don't really know what I'm doing." Matt reads over his phone.

"And I'm not helping since you said you're gonna be better." Dani smiles, "Bye." She goes back to her room not wanting to watch them.

When they were done Dani goes back out learning that Matt did all that work for nothing, "I might not be the brightest bulb, in-in the ceiling. You know." Matt tells the viewers sitting at the table.

"Not the correct saying." Dani lets him know.

"But umm, Dani pointed out that the Salmon comes cooked in this." He waves the package around, "So it has just sat in the oven for 12 minutes and it was already ready to eat."

"This doesn't look good at all." Chris looks at it, "We need Dani to make a backup for dinner. Dani will you please?" He looks over at her.

"Hate to say it but Matt, you're fired from the kitchen." Dani laughs at him, "I'll order us more food." Dani leaves to go order food.

~

"You get away from me." Matt tells Dani as he brushes her teeth as she was filming him.

Dani laughs getting closer to him, "Because of last night?" She asks him and he nods his head, "Sorry you suck at Uno." She hears Chris coming and turns to him, "You do too."

"Shut up." He tells her as he passes her, "Matt good morning. I love to see Matt awake. It's so rare when I come up here and Matt's just fully ready to go." Chris says so Matt pulls out his phone to show the time.

"To be fair that's kinda true." Dani agrees, "So what time is it?" She asks and he shows the camera, "3 o'clock."

"Yeah. I just love seeing Matt awake and up and at em, right Matt?" Chris smacks his ass.

When everyone was ready to leave for Matt's doctor visit, they chat for a few seconds still not fully ready to leave yet. "Oh, my mom is coming to visit again by the way. But this time Gage is coming with her. Sorry for the late notice, guys. Let me go get my phone to see exactly when." Dani rushes down to her room.

Chris starts to smile seeing how Matt looked at Dani as she talked, "Dude, hurry up and ask her. The way you look at her is killing me." He whines wanting them to get together.

"Gage said Thursday they will get here." Dani joins them again.

"Don't worry about it." Nick lets her know.

"Y'all finally get to meet Gage!" She says as they decide to leave now.

"Oh Matt you look so good today. Doesn't he, Dani?" Chris asks as they head down the staris.

"He looks like he normally does. Nothing too big. I've seen him wear that exact outfit before." She laughs.

"Let's go." Matt motions for the three to follow him as he was the only one really going down the stairs.

"Are you limping more than usual?" She watches him.

"Heads up!" Chris throws his water bottle at Matt and he catches causing the three to freak out. "Oh my God! I meant to hit him in the head. He caught it."

After the visit they get some food before heading back home, "I can't believe you got two drinks." Dani tells Matt as he opens the door.

"Yes you can."

"Yeah, I can." She laughs with him.

"You know me well enough." He tells her as Nick and Chris pass them to head upstairs.

"What happened to ladies first?" Dani asks then looks back at Matt laughing.

Dani ends up going to her room to eat and watch TV because she was bingeing a show she just recently got into. At the same time Chris was bugging Matt so he was gonna go join Dani in her room.

"You are fucking stupid."

"Ooh, where you going?" Chris laughs watching Matt.

"You're literally not funny at all." Matt stops to look back at him before continuing.

"I think it's funny." Chris tells Nick, "I know my purpose with Dani is pushing Matt and her to get together. I'm for it."

"So you are completely over her?" Nick asks him.

"She doesn't feel the same and I'm okay with that. I missed my chance but I refuse for Matt to do the same. I need them to get together. Who better for the other?"

As Nick agrees to what Chris was saying, Matt was telling Dani that Chris was bugging him once again about getting with her.

"If he only knew we already went out on a date." She laughs then stops to get a little serious, "Are you wanting to tell them that yet?"

"No, do you?" He asks her.

"No, I want to enjoy this between just the two of us. You know?" She tells him.

"That why I don't want to tell either." He makes her smile.

"So we keep just saying we're close and nothing is going to happen until we're ready to tell them." She puts her hand out and they shake on it.

"Oh, when your mom and brother come to visit..." Matt stars.

"Don't worry, Gage is nothing like Colby when it comes to be overly protective. He's protective but not in that category with boys. He's the more relaxed brother unless it comes to when my feelings are hurt." She explains to him, "He's the only one in my family that care catch when I'm upset. That's why I love when he comes to visit because when he's gone, I feel invisible at times." She adds.

"He's the oldest out of you three and you're his baby sister. So he catches the things that he should fix. Dude, at least I'm not as nervous anymore to meet him."

[supernova41st]

Adam/Lucifer x dating headcanons 🦢(Separate!!)

French vocab: Mon cœr-My heart

Mon chère-my dear

A/n: Idk if I’ll do husk or Alastor anytime soon but comment if you want it ig, this song is so gorg pls listen

creds for dividers: kyejiz

Adam:

He is so petty about your relationship. Everything becomes a competition to him when he’s around other people in relationships

“Yeah so me and ___ went on a date to the park the other da-“ “OH REALLY??WELL ME AND Y/N WENT ON A DATE TO THE MOVIES. WE WATCHED GODZILLA THEN FUCKED IN THE BATHROOM, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.”

He loves embarrassing you (you think??)

He also loves pda, he doesn’t care who’s watching, he’ll stick his tongue down your throat while Sera watches.

You guys are one of those lazy date couples, walks and theme park dates aren’t for you. So you normally have dates at home, watching movies, binging tv shows etc.

But in all seriousness, he does love you. He loves how you take care of him when he can’t, especially when he finishes another extermination.

He’ll come home drenched in sinners blood, while you grab a washcloth and wipe most of it from his face.

As said before, you guys are lazy date couples, so he loves when you help him wash blood off of him in the bath

It’s no secret that he has had his fair share of women, but ever since Lillith and Eve, most of them have been one nighters.

So when he started his relationship with you, he became kinda protective of you. You always have to reassure you that whatever male friends you have don’t wanna boombayah with you but nothing will convince him 💔

Lucifer:

He’s so unserious lmao, he’ll say random one liners whenever you two are making out.

“You’re so beautiful.. your mouth taste like a watermelon jolly rancher..”

“…a what?”

He REALLY enjoys giving you gifts, but sometimes it’s so random, like whenever he’s out with you he’ll just

“Wait a minute..”

“..?”

“What’s this spicy chicken sandwich deluxe doing in my pocket?”

“:0”

It was unexpected because Charlie clearly LOVES her mom, but she’s loves you too.

At first, you thought that she wouldn’t be the happiest person in the world since you’re dating her dad, but she actually really likes you.

At one point, she accidentally called you ‘mom’, you guys stopped talking ever since.

He loves taking you on romantic dates, dinner nights with petals all over the floor while you two eat gourmet meals are his favorites

He’s always the waiter too, he doesn’t want some rando getting in the way of you two!! He just wants it to be you and him ♡

omg and sometimes Alastor will just come in as the waiter to fuck with him, like

“How’s the salmon, mon cœr?”

“It’s really nice! Thanks fo-“

“more champagne?”

And it’s just Alastor and his yellow ass teeth

He gets so pissed 😭

His fav part about you is prob your hair, so he loves brushing it in the morning or night.

Brushing your hair soothes him so much, watching your strands of hair go between the bristles.

If French gets you going, then this guys your treat.

He’ll speak French during romantic moments, wether it’s dates while you guys are kissing, he’ll slip out a “Mon chère” and you’d get so flustered

[wolfiesmoon]

Chip bag

Itadori x fem!reader

So today on the train ride home me and my classmates were talking about boys...

(This is inspired by real life events in case u couldnt tell lmaooo)

"How did you guys meet?" Your friend asked your classmate sat across from you. You reached into your bag of chips absentmindedly, also curious to hear her story.

"Me and my boyfriend met for the first time at the park. Sometimes I go biking there, you see. He saw me one day and really wanted to ask for my number." She started, your friend and another classmate nodding along. "He ended up getting scared and not doing it, but he waited in the park every day, hoping I would show up again until I did!" your classmates made an "awww" noise at her little story.

"How about yours?" She passed on the question to her friend. "Ohhh, you guys know that summer camp that everyone here goes to?" everyone nodded along again, your chip bag making a crumpling noise as you pulled out another chip.

"I met him there, basically. What about you?" She asked your friend, sat next to you. "Oh, we started talking over social media because we had mutual friends and it kind of evolved from there."

You couldn't really add much to the conversation, considering you have no boyfriend, but if there's one thing you can say...

"Hey, why don't you guys set me up with someone?" You said jokingly, nudging your friend's shoulder. "Hahah, I can do that easily." Your friend smiled back at you.

"But, then again..." you took out another chip, "I kind of want to just, meet someone on my own, I guess. Like you know how in those romantic comedies, they bump into eachother and then it all escalates from there? Like that."

"How often does that actually happen to people, though?" The girl sat across you questioned. You shrugged, smiling to yourself.

The conversation continued, with you listening in, when suddenly-

"Hey, can I have one, please?" You were surprised to hear a guy's voice by your side, looking up from your seat to get a better look at him.

He had salmon colored hair and two strange creases under his wide brown eyes. You immediately got the vibe of "cheerful, approachable guy" from him.

"Ah, oh, sure." You realise you were probably staring at him for a little too long, raising your bag higher so he can take out a few chips. He did so, thanking you and going back to his seat, where two people wearing the same uniform were waiting for him.

Huh, must be his classmates.

Wait, why are you even still looking at him? You quickly look away to find your classmates trying to supress their giggles. "What...?" You ask, slightly confused.

"Hahaha, speaking of romantic comedy encounters..." one of them half-whispered. Oh. Oh.

"Imagine your kids ask you "Hey mom, how did you meet dad?" And then you just say "He asked me for chips one time", hahahah..." another added.

"Hey, we're basically strangers, don't marry us and give us kids in your head." You scolded, crossing your arms. But you couldn't lie, even though you barely exchanged any words, he did have a charm about him. You glanced at him again, thinking about what just happened.

"So, the math professor freaking LOST it." You snapped out of it, putting your focus back on your classmates. Your classmates have already stopped giggling by now, moving on to the next daily topic.

You tried not to keep looking to him, secretly hoping that this might not be your first and final interaction.

.

"You couldn't ask her for her number, could you?" Nobara crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow at Yuuji's defeated expression.

He simply shook his head no. "This is exactly why you can't get a girlfriend." Nobara huffed, looking out the window.

"Listen, you'll get another chance, you'll meet her again soon enough. I'm only saying this so you won't be all sad and heartbroken on our mission, by the way." Megumi leaned on his palm, sighing.

"Just say you care, you idiot." Nobara also sighed.

"I hope I do meet her again." He said after a bit of silence, glancing back at you as you stood at the train doors, about to exit on your stop.

Hopefully you go on this train every day.

[kcalsforhim]

˖⋆࿐໋ friday 27th of december

⋆˙⟡

TW FOR THE END OF MY ENTRY !!!!! for pic of sfx blood makeup… T_T

friday hmmmm.. well that was yesterday… i woke up and weighed myself ! i was half a kg less then the day before that… so that was very relieving T_T do you guys like a picture of a guy in a bra ? it was the smallest size they have at the local store… i tried to make it look flattering… but i feel like im too fat too pull this whole… feminine man in a bra look off…

i got up and did god knows what and then ate breakfast !

breakfast :

1 slice of home made bread cut into 2 pieces, the smallest bit of zuivel spread on both, with some smoked salmon, and a bit of crushed salt and pepper (gamechanger)

half a small bowl of vanilla pudding that was left over… and what looks like a big blob of cinnamon

a cup of some kind of herbal tea with some lemon in it

the sandwich was GOOD ! the salt and pepper ontop and just the whole combo was very rich and flavourful,

(can i interrupt this by saying im writing this at work at 8 am and some fuckass came in and said so much with such little actual words and completely fried my brain COMPLETELY like omg ? ok back to what i was saying……)

the salt and the pepper ontop changed it from being a good breakfast to being a really enjoyable breakfast ! the bread is i think the best my moms ever made… i can’t exactly describe it… it was dense and maybe a bit… im not sure, not too dry… which i really like… its closer to one of those bread buns rather than a regular old slice of bread… and so thin too !

the tea was gross…. my mom put a bit too toooo much lemon… so much so it stopped being enjoyable and sour, and went straight to being bitter….

after eating, i felt replenished but also somewhat moody. i started on my treadmill having already collected 2k steps from just doing god knows what, and i was determined to get to 10 k… i kind of zoned out the 75 mins i was walking tbh… but the last 5 minutes were stressful cause my step counter absolutely REFUUUUSED to update and this kind of ticked me off… sighs… i needed 200 steps left so i manually counted them at a certain point and got off even if my step counter didn’t update… waah

then i layed in bed… probably fell half asleep at some point, then got up to eat AGAIN… fatty… you see yesterday i wanted to overeat a lot.. on… a lot… a lot… of food… everything you could think of… not only that but i didn’t smoke at all and had had 0 energy drinks (helps reduce appetite and also boosts energy obviously)

dinner :

1/4 of my bowl was filled with some goulash and maybe 10 pieces of that pasta ?

in a small bowl i had some more pasta, maybe another 10 pieces or so… and some vanilla sugar on it…

a small bowl with some salad

a banana mashed up and microwaved

the goulash is basically just meat left to simmer alllll day long on low in a special pot, making the meat very tender and soft and quite flavourful… but im not a fan of this dish when eating it with pasta… only with mashed potato… so i wasn’t feeling it, that’s why half my bowl is fucking empty lol

the sweet pasta thing, usually you’d also put sunflower oil on it, my mom always made it when i was a child, but ill rather swallow a gun whole than directly consume sunflower oil

the salad was leftovers, and the banana was me wanting something sweet idk. surprisingly good tasting to warm up a banana, i ate it with the sweet pasta and the warm banana made it more good… idk… maybe struggle meal ?

idk what i did, but i ate AGAIN cause i was going crazy i can’t recall what happened inbetween i think this was veeery shortly after dinner

snack :

one piece of dark chocolate, and 2 lotus cookies (came in a pack)

it was good, i felt guilty but it’s like i couldn’t be helped lol… atleast it was just a controlled portion and not just… like eating handfuls of everything in sight kind of deal… i’ve done that before soooo hey ! progress.. i would NOT consider this a binge or overeating

after this my mom asked if i wanted to go on a walk with me, and i thought YESSSS I SCORED !!!! i already had 10 k so it’ll only add onto my successes !!!! so we went on this huuuuuge walk… huge ! it was soooo cold like 2 degrees out… brrr

we went to the store and i got some stuff ! taco shells… and beans… i wanted tacos… ofc i will make them myself, you will see it in my blogpost tonight or tommorow… it depends… and it will be a struggle meal bcs im rlly autistic and specific about my food T_T i asked my friend if he can spare me the cost and he couldn’t… so im not chatting with him till later… he said by next week he’ll have 500 euro so he can talk to me then…

anyways when i got back i had something like 17-18 k ! i was so happy with myself even if i felt guilty… i went into bed and i started drawing again… while chewing on vitamin pills ? see i don’t know what happens when i really want to eat BAD why the fuck would you chew on that ??????

i completed the lineart completely by this point and sighed in relief… then i started colouring my characters first… first my favourite… hehe.. i coloured him in completely and then my second favourite, i half completed him… cause then i remembered i had work

i put my ipad away and i layed in bed and forced myself to go to bed… i went to sleep so early my parents weren’t even sleeping yet, so i could sleep with no headphones, no earbuds, just pure silence… infact it was so quiet i didn’t even put on a video… it was such a weird sleep

i remember having a nightmare but i can’t remember exactly what, most likely something with food or something like that you know ? T_T

that was my day !!! weirdly extensive… but im in one of those moooooods you know ?

ignore monday ew… this is what we call beaaaaaauifull consistency ~ i love it !! you see those beautiful numbers ????? i feel so good about it i kind of never want to be under 10 k again TwT

cals : 3 days binge free !!!! today was hard, but i only had controlled portions of everything, so i see it as a win… feel free to disagree tho… i do understand today was a BAD food day… i ate so much !!!!

steps : 18.6 k !!!

my obsession with this soundtrack needs to be studied LMFAO. this track makes me laugh bcs she’s always playing her stupid rpg when it plays going online with her teacher ??? that’s crazy ToT

TW scaaaaaaaaaaaaaars

bonus !!! TwT i thought these turned out sooo cute… the night before i wasn’t feeling so well, so i got some courage and cvt the inside of my arm… i had been wanting to for a long long time… it wasn’t so bad !!!! i started it off really carefully, but slowly did it more and more… by the end i had one last one at the top that showed a little bit of bubbles, just barely :3 those kinds are my favourite ever ~ they hurt soooooo good …

⋆˙⟡

[somanyratsinthewalls]

Burning Hearts Chapter 13

“I 

Pairing: Law x Straw Hat Zoan Type (named) OC 

Summary: You were teleported across the globe in an instant, away from your crew. Your body was badly broken and beaten, thrust into the harsh landscape of a Northern island. You are discovered by the Heart Pirates and brought back to health. Startled upon waking up in a foreign place with an unfamiliar crew, you are shocked with the news that you’ll be spending two years there. Trafalgar Law, the captain of the Heart Pirates has made a promise to train you, but will it become something more than a mentor relationship?

**MINORS DNI** ADULT CONTENT

TW: Kissing, dry humping, clothed sex, smokable plant usage.

WC: 3100 LOL

Taglist: @zoros-fourth-sword @cottoncandyloverrrr @nothing-but-brass

Burning Hearts Chapter 13: Accidental Dosage

— — 

“You keep dropping your shoulder, leaving yourself open for attack.”

“I’m not dropping shit, you’re nit-picking- UGH!” You were knocked backwards into a tree trunk. 

“You were saying?” Law cheekily grins from across the clearing. 

You roll your eyes while you catch your breath from the impact. 

“One of these days, Law, your mouth is going to write a check your ass can’t cash.” You sputter as you lunge towards your opponent, blade in each hand. 

Your attack is predictably blocked by Law’s giant katana and he forces you back again. 

“I have no problem putting my money where my mouth is.” 

*GRWWOOAAAR*

Both of your heads snap in the direction of the sound emanating from the dark woods. 

“The fuck was that?” You turn to Law and ask. 

“Probably some sort of-“

*RRRRAAA* 

A giant brown bear no less than 800 pounds bursts through a gap in the tree line and lumbers into the clearing, teeth bared. 

“Bear.” Law finished with an unamused expression. 

“What do we do?” You asked, heartbeat in your throat. 

“It’s fine.” Law states casually. “Room. Shambles.” 

At once, in a flash of blue, Law is right in front of the bear and rapping it harshly on the nose with his blade. The bear yelps. Before you could even comment, Law was back at your side at the edge of the clearing. 

“No need to show off.” You huff. 

Suddenly, the bear does something you don’t expect. It brings its front paws up to its nose in pain. The bear flops backwards holding its muzzle and starts to wail and cry like a toddler. 

“What’s it doing…” You cock your head, confused. 

“It’s… throwing a tantrum?” Law speculates. 

*GRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAA* 

A much louder, deep sound resonates through the forest around you. 

*crash* *snap* *thump*

*ROOOAARR*

You notice the tops of trees being felled in the distance, but not comfortably far away. You realize what it was. 

“You fucking moron… that was the baby bear… and we just pissed off mom…” You look to your right and make eye contact with Law. 

“Oops…” Law’s eyes widen. 

With a thunderous growl, an unimaginable beast emerges into the clearing. This brown bear was no less the size of a two story building and looked ready to swallow the both of you whole. 

With shocked expressions the both of you take several steps backwards. 

“Well? Any brilliant plan here, Mr Warlord?” You snap without taking your eyes off the face of the snarling creature. 

“Unless you have any bowls of porridge on you… I think we have to fight this thing.” Law draws his blade. 

“Great.” You sigh and unsheathe your swords as well. 

“You’ll take it from the top?” Law asks. 

“Got it.” 

*Grrrrrr*

The massive bear growls lowly and stalks towards the two of you, readying itself to attack. 

“On my word…” Law was waiting for the perfect moment to strike, and you held yourself to his go. 

*sniff sniff* 

The bear was so close you could smell the salmon on its breath. You shuddered. 

“Now!”

You spring up into the air and unfurl your wings and launch an attack on the beast from above the nape of its neck. Law was working at disabling the creature from its legs and arms. The two of you fought for what seemed like ages against the hulking monster. 

During your assault on the back of the animal you hear Law groan from somewhere underneath you. You land back on the ground and see Law pinned to the dirt by one large paw, fighting off the bear’s jaws from piercing his neck. 

“Law!” You see red and your vision blurs. You find yourself no longer in control of your body and are hurtling towards the beast at an alarming rate, driving your head straight into the side of the animal. 

The giant beast groans as your slam it off of Law, leaving two gored holes in its side where you had made contact. 

“Hhaaaa!” You scream as you turn to slam your black spiked tail into the creature’s head. You don’t remember changing forms, all you knew is you had to make sure Law was safe. You sigh as you realize the mother bear was now finally unconscious. You notice the smaller one out of the corner of you eye and you let our a bellow that was far more beast than human… 

Upon hearing your cry, the baby bear retreated back into the woods. 

Your chest heaves and you finally come to your senses, looking around to find Law. He was already up on his feet and making his way towards you. He looked… shorter?

“Holy shit… look at you…” Law looks up at you. 

You look down at your feet. They weren’t yours anymore. Huge black, scaled and clawed haunches were where your normally slender tanned legs would have been. This must have been how you launched yourself at the bear so forcefully…

Your head was swimming… what ugly features… 

“Daisy? You okay?” Law’s voice sounded like he was underwater to you. 

You look over at the giant bear’s body and notice the two puncture wounds you had made in its side. You gingerly pat at the top of your head. You feel something that isn’t just your hair… two curved horns protruded from your skull.

“No…” You gasp. 

Everything goes black. 

— — 

You wake up alone in your own bed at the base. You try to process what had happened in the clearing but you felt sick thinking about it. You couldn’t help but think that this training was more than you could take. Maybe you were just naturally weak, unable to handle this powerful of a Devil Fruit ability… maybe you should renounce the pirate life and tell your crew to go on without you after the 2 years is up… 

*knock knock knock knock*

“Hiiiii bitch good morning! Just kidding good afternoon. Heard you kicked a bear’s ass into next week?” Ikkaku comes into your room without waiting for a response. She carried a pile of clothing in her arms. 

“It was way bigger than just a bear…” You sigh as you sit up in bed. 

“Well either way, the weather’s going to change soon so we need to get our tan on before we’re stuck offensively pale for the rest of the season.” 

“You want to go tanning? In the yard? I don’t have a bathing suit. I don’t exactly go swimming often…” 

“You don’t think I thought of that? That’s why I brought you some of mine to choose from. Hurry up, we’re burning daylight!” 

— — 

What incredible power she held. If only she wasn’t so afraid of it. She saved his life today. 

Law sits at his desk pouring over more books about ancient devil fruits. She could take on the world with this ability if only she would push herself to harness it. Law felt partially responsible for her stubbornness to use her abilities, he had become softer on her since… acknowledging the feelings he held for her. He battled with the idea of pushing her to harness her full strength and the thought of cultivating a romantic relationship with her. 

Law pushes back in his chair and rubs his eyes. The smell of warm baked goods hits his nose. Law sits up straighter. Man… that smelled nice…

“Captain! Daisy made brownies, come have some!” Penguin calls from outside his office door. 

Brownies. 

How could anyone resist that luxurious aroma?

Law is brought out of his office by the smell of sweet treats like a cartoon character being drawn by a pie cooling on a windowsill. He makes his way to the main living area and finds his whole crew minus Daisy and Ikkaku shoveling chocolate brownies into their mouths. 

“Here cap, have one! I’ve already had 3! They’re so good!” Penguin hands him one as he enters the room. Law inspects the confection before taking a bite. The flavors were immaculate, even he couldn’t deny that. Daisy truly had a knack for baking. They tasted a little different from the brownies he had eaten before in his life, but they were beyond delicious. Law quickly gobbles up the rest of the square. 

“Hey you two.” Shachi approaches Law and Penguin. “Seen the garden recently?” He says with a smirk on his face, pointy teeth poking through. 

“Why?” Penguin asks. 

“I dunno. I think you should check it out, though. Sooner rather than later.” Shachi’s grin grows and he heads back to sit on the couch. 

Law’s curiosity is piqued. He turns tail quietly and heads to the back door of the base that headed straight out to the yard. 

“Wait I’m coming too!” Penguin hollers and picks up his pace to follow his captain at his heels. 

The two men exit the base through the back door and round the corner towards the garden. 

Law gasps and throws his arm out to the side to block Penguin from proceeding any further. 

“Holy shit…” Penguin breathes out heavily. 

Several yards away, seated on lounge chairs were Ikkaku and Daisy taking in the sun. 

They both held magazines and beers in their hands as they laughed about something they were reading in their gossip rags. Ikkaku wore a low cut pink one piece swimsuit while Daisy wore a black string bikini. 

This was clearly Ikkaku’s bikini, seeing as how Daisy’s breasts struggled to maintain their position in the tiny top. Law couldn’t help but notice the way they jiggled when she laughed. The small triangles holding in her supple flesh strained against her ample chest. 

Law felt the crotch of his pants tighten. He remembered he wasn’t alone. 

“we… we should go back inside.” Law mutters.

Penguin said nothing. Mouth still wide open. Law grabbed the sleeve of his jumpsuit and dragged him back inside the base. 

“pervert…” 

— — 

“The sun’s almost down. We should head back in.” You said to your friend. 

“Ugh, back to that sausage fest? I could stay out here all day.” Ikkaku lays back in her chair. 

“I almost got eaten by a bear this morning. I’m ready to eat and go to bed early. What’s with you and Peng anyway?”

“Nothing really. We hook up sometimes but it’s not serious.” Ikkaku says casually. 

“you’re hooking up???” You sit up on your elbows.

“I mean sort of! He goes down on me, that’s it.” 

“THAT’S IT? You’re getting licked and I’m just hearing about it now?” You gasp. 

“When was I supposed to tell you! You’re always playing nurse ratchet to the captain.” 

You roll your eyes. 

“Well is it good at least?” You lift your sunglasses and ask. 

“Not really… but he’s learning.” Ikkaku chuckles. 

“Men are very trainable.”

“That they are.” 

As the two of you clink your beers in agreement, Bepo stumbles out into the garden. He looked disoriented.

“Woah, what’s wrong big guy?” You rise to your feet. 

“Miss Daisy! We need your help! Quick!”

— — 

“YOU FUCKING ATE ALL OF THE BROWNIES?” You scream at the crew of white jumpsuit clad pirates in front of you. “I put a god damn note on these saying these were MY brownies and for NO ONE ELSE to eat them!”

“Yes but we just thought since you make us other stuff to eat we could have these too!” Bepo was panting and looked very nervous. 

“No way…” Ikkaku holds in a laugh.

“Are you guys that fucking stupid?! Do you have ANY idea how much herb you’ve all just ingested?!?” You continue ranting at the men. 

“I don’t really think they need yelling right now, D…” Ikkau puts her hand on your shoulder. 

You look around the room. Jean Bart was asleep in the middle of the floor, Uni and Shachi were huddled together on the couch looking terrified, other crew members were pacing the floor, Penguin was rambling to himself in the doorway. Even Bepo was having a hard time holding it together… he must have eaten a lot…

Your eyes were drawn to Law, who was seated on a singular cushion in the corner of the room with his knees pulled up to his chest and eyes bugged wide. 

“Fucking idiots…” 

“Miss Daisy what do we do… please help…” Bepo digs his claws into your shoulders. 

You rub your eyes and sigh. You clear your throat.

“EVERYBODY! Go to bed! Lay down! Turn on the TV or some music and just sit the fuck down! The sooner you go to sleep the sooner this will be over! And once this is over I can beat the shit out of you all for eating all my weed!” 

The room is silent for a moment before the group of terrified men heed your orders and head to the door. 

“Can you make sure everyone makes it to their rooms okay? I’m gonna check on your greened-out captain.” You ask Ikkaku as you nod towards Law huddled in the corner. 

“Got it.”

“I’ll come check on everyone in a bit.”

Ikkaku nods and follows everyone out of the living room. 

You approach Law and kneel down next to him slowly. 

“Hey… how’s it going?” You speak in a soft, gentle voice. You get no response. 

“Whatchya doing, pal?” You ask. 

“Breathing.” Law states, not making eye contact, still staring wide eyed at some unknown point across the room. 

“Right, right okay good! Breathing is good!” You were trying so hard to hold in your laughter. “Can you maybe come with me and we can get you into bed?” Law nods and you help him rise to his feet. He follows you wordlessly to his room and you get him seated on his bed. 

“I’m going to check on everyone else, how about you change and get into bed, okay?” You ask carefully. 

Law nods. You leave him to go do rounds in the rest of the state rooms. Most of the rooms were full of very happy or very sleepy men, but you found quite the interesting situation upon reaching Penguin and Shachi’s room. 

You open the door and find Penguin curled up like a toy poodle in Ikkaku’s lap as she strokes his hair. Shachi was peering out the windows and breathing heavily. 

“This one’s fine…” Ikkaku nods down at the man in her lap. “But the other one thinks the government is here to murder us.” She rolls her eyes at you. 

“Shachi if you don’t get your ass in bed right now I’m going to beat your ass worse than a Marine Admiral would and I MEAN that.” You growl at him. 

“They’re watching us right now! You don’t hear that?” Shachi exclaims. 

You huff and grab the mans face in your hands. 

“You’re fucking high, you idiot. If you don’t chill out I’ll make sure you’ve got bigger issues.”

Shachi, terrified, tucks himself into bed. 

You give Ikkaku a thumbs up and return to check on Law. 

After making your way back to the captain’s quarters, you find Law laying on his back in bed, shirt unbuttoned but not off, pants off, briefs on, socks and hat still on, staring at the ceiling. 

“Feeling any better?” You chirp as you quietly enter the captain’s bedroom. 

“Daisy!” Law sits up and pulls the comforter over his exposed legs and thighs. 

“It’s fine, Law, just relax. You okay?” You move to sit on the side of the bed at his hip. You look down and look into his eyes. 

To your shock, he bursts out laughing. 

“Yeah? What’s funny, huh?” You smile, seeing the normally stoic, anti-drug pirate captain high out of his fucking mind. 

“Remember when I almost got eaten by a fucking bear this morning?” Law chokes out between fits of laughter. 

“You’ve got a sick sense of humor, man, because I did NOT think that was very chill.” You couldn’t help but giggle along with him. Instinctively, you place a comforting hand on his chest. 

Law grasps at your wrist with his right hand. He strokes it gently up towards your shoulder. 

“You kicked its ass, though. Saved me.” 

“You would have been fine.” You blushed. 

Law’s hand makes its way up to your neck, pulling you closer. 

“Your skin is so soft…” Law says lazily through hooded eyes. 

You laugh. 

“You’re high.” You smile down at him. 

“And you’re hot.” Law smirks up at you. 

“Oh stop it.” You try to brush him off. 

“No seriously…” Law runs his fingers through your hair and you couldn’t help but lean into his touch. “When you grew those horns and those claws, you were like some sort of angel…” 

You scoff. 

“Not sure what kind of angels you read about… but I’m certainly not one of them.” You sigh and avert your gaze. 

“Let me kiss you for a little, please?” Law, while still dazed, pleads with you. 

“Ask me again after you’ve come down, you aren’t thinking right.” You move to stand up. 

“Need you now, though. Don’t wanna be alone. Please?” Law grabs your wrist as you try to stand. 

Holy shit he was hot when he begged. Every logical thought in your brain told you to leave but he was pleading for you so sweetly… you had to give in against your better judgment. 

“Fine. A few kisses and then you’re off to bed.” You hop up onto the bed and straddle his underwear clad waist. Law smirks and grips your waist with both hands. You lean down and capture his lips in a soft kiss. You feel Law groan into your lips and it sends shivers straight down your spine. 

As the kiss became more heated, you feel Law push your hips down onto his. Wait… was all of that him? Gods there was no way… 

You were just in a tank dress over your swim suit so you could feel the hardened length against your core so distinctly. You were so shocked at his sheer size that you yelp in surprise as Law pushes his tongue into your mouth. You couldn’t help but notice his kissing skill was improving.  Law grabs the back of your nape with one hand and pulls your backwards so he could plant wet, open mouthed kisses on your neck.

“Oh!” You gasp in pleasure, feeling his lips on your skin and his throbbing cock underneath your wet, bikini-clad sex. Law used his other hand to guide your hips back and forth across his clothed manhood. 

Law digs his teeth into your neck and purses his lips to suck on it. 

“Gods, Law!” You cry out. 

“Nggghh!” Law groans loudly and grips your hip impossibly tight and presses your core into his pelvis. 

Suddenly his hand on your waist loosens and he releases your flesh from his mouth. His head flops back onto the bed, hat askew. He was panting heavily. 

“Wait.. did you?” You cock your head from your position above him. 

Law covers his eyes with his arm that was just around your body. 

“Shit.. yeah… I’m sorry…” He whispers out softly. 

“Hey…” You move his arm and kiss his lips, his face stained beet red. “It’s okay. You’ll sleep better now right?” You chuckle. 

“Ugh…” 

You pull his hat off his head and set it on his bedside table. You cup his face for a moment before you rise from the bed. 

“Get some shut eye. I’ve gotta check on the rest of your crew. I’ll be back to-“ You move to the archway and look back. 

Law was already snoring. 

You smile and head out. 

— — 

*Author’s Note* SORRY THIS WAS A BILLION YEARS LONG. I HAD A VISION. Omg he’s gonna be so embarrassed I can’t wait. At least he’s finally getting some sleep? Idk y’all give me some feedback here because we’re getting to the MEAT!