#so maybe it IS bad from a music critic standpoint

[jettreno]

I know that this damages my reputation as a certified mcu hater, but while most of the “the mcu has no iconic scores” is true, the avengers main theme IS really good imo. simple yet powerful with a true feeling of grandeur and very memorable. like all those videos of people being asked “can you hum any tune from the avengers movies?” or whatever, im like….yes? the avengers theme music is catchy, even

[phantomoftheorpheum]

The Umbrella Academy Season 4 Review/Critique

Fair warning- this is ridiculously long. If you expand this post and don't actually want to read it, it will be a pain in the ass to scroll through; I would advise against it.

Just to be 100% clear, these are my opinions and interpretations of the show. If you don't want to see criticism (and quite a lot of it) or read a pretty raw, unfiltered/unedited review of the season, this is not for you. This is a casual platform, so I tend to just let myself think out loud on these posts, meaning that I don't go back and heavily edit my thoughts. I may express ideas for the storylines that would need some refining, I'm generally just spitballing.

This is a very criticism heavy post, I have a lot of issues with this season, so if that will upset you, please just don't bother to read this. I will be tagging anti tags (due to the large amount of criticism I have for the show) for filtering purposes.

*** Spoilers for all 4 seasons of Umbrella Academy ***

Good Stuff First

I always like to start with my favorite stuff from the show, because usually if I am bothering to critique, it means I have a lot of criticisms, but I always want to acknowledge what the show does well before I start getting into what it does not do well.

Individual Characters & Dynamics - In particular, I thought Klaus's unique character voice was present and well written and the performance continued to be top notch (I have some criticisms about the actual storyline, but I think Robert nailed what he was given from an acting standpoint). Many of the specific dialogue and character dynamics felt consistent to earlier seasons, which can be difficult with such a wacky show. There are definitely some characters who were able to shine, regardless of what they were given.

Visuals/Sets - The show still looks as good as it ever has. It's never been groundbreaking cinematography, but you can feel the budget in the aesthetics of the show. It has been able to maintain this weird "almost our world, but not quite" reality in a visual manner since season 1. It has a distinct style and look. The sets largely feel big and textured and expansive, even when they're fairly simple. I like that we've at least glimpsed the house in every season.

Tone/Humor - The Umbrella Academy is weird. It has always been weird. It must be weird or else it would feel... bad weird? It does succeed in continuing to be weird AF. I like that the show isn't afraid to be incredibly strange. It is a show that swings big. The humor is still there. Humor is hard, and I think they hit more often than they miss.

Family Road Trip - The group dynamic, family bickering, montage effect of 4x02, etc. was one of the lighter and more enjoyable choices made in season 4. The bit of "annoying song stuck on a loop" that continued to crop up throughout the season worked for me.

Abigail Completely Failing at Being Gene - This is only a very small part of the season, but Nick Offerman playing an alien cloaked in a (very weird) human skin and very poorly pulling it off added some levity while it lasted.

Soundtrack - While I think there are fewer distinctly standout tracks for this season (but this is entirely a personal opinion, maybe others feel differently), the show's commitment to its distinctive sound and use of music is still solid. I particularly appreciated the callbacks to season 1, obviously I Think We're Alone Now, but also by selecting Dead To The World in 4x06 for Five (I prefer In The Heat Of The Moment as a song, personally, but the choice was very clever). This is a show that I genuinely like to go listen to the soundtrack of after the season, and I intend to do that with this season as well (except for the Christmas stuff, I am not a big Christmas songs person).

The Cast - This is related to point one, but I really think 99% of the cast did they best they could with the material they had to work with.

Despite all my criticisms, I still found myself sad to be at the end of the journey. And I think that says something about the strength of these characters. A perfect journey? No. But one I'm still glad that I took.

My Criticisms

I want to start by saying that if I bother to critique something, that means I believe it has enough potential to be worth discussing. If it didn't, I absolutely would not bother. So while I think this is going to come off quite harshly, it is coming from a place of "I love what this show can be when it's at its best, and here's how I personally think we could have been closer to its best."

A lot of times when I write up my thoughts about a show, I start with my most specific criticisms, and as I examine those, it points me to a bigger underlying issue. Sometimes I work the other way around, thinking about the larger elements I have criticisms of, then searching out examples. But in this case, either way, I find myself ending up at the same place with the same issue, and that issue (perhaps ironically for this particular show) is time.

I believe the largest issue with season 4 is time management, crafting storylines that are interconnected and therefore justify their screen time, and pacing. Yes, I have some criticisms that could not be fixed with better time management, but a lot of my issues lead back to this. Pacing is always a tricky element, is at the top of many criticism lists of many shows, and has been at the top of my list for several shows I reviewed this year. Pacing issues seem to be cropping up more and more with streaming service based shows on all platforms, and I don't think that's coincidental. But, imo, Netflix is our best example.

One of the greatest strengths of Netflix Originals, back when they first started, was the guarantee of a full season before a cancellation. Because they had no feedback on a show before producing and releasing an entire season, there were no early mid-season cancellations. This allowed writers a little more room to stretch out, knowing they wouldn't walk into work the next day and be told they have 2 or 3 episodes to wrap up a story, or worse, wake up to just no job at all. So while the seasons were shorter, the time was guaranteed. Many of Netflix's early properties, particularly if their first season was successful, were greenlit for multiple seasons at a time, a practice which has been all but abandoned (Bridgerton and Stranger Things have been afforded this luxury in recent years, but few other shows). But as Netflix (and other streaming services) got its legs under itself, it came to realize that there was more profit in producing the first season of many shows, then cancelling all but the most successful. This epidemic of unfinished stories has been spreading rapidly. Now, not only does Netflix have an extremely high cancellation rate and rarely renews a show for more than a season at a time, it has also been shortening seasons, bringing down production costs, and trying to minimize risk and maximize "safe" profits. Minimizing risk in favor of maximizing safe profits rarely results in good art. Which explains a lot.

And so, unfortunately, I think The Umbrella Academy is a casualty of this increasingly mercenary system. Not only was it forced to make creative decisions with the constant threat of "This could be the end, but you won't know it until after it airs, so it also has to work as not the end," during the first three seasons, but though it got warning of its final season, it received a limited run to complete the show. Now, I can't fault anyone for wanting to write each season as a possible ending, considering how often Netflix cancels shows. Is this smart? Yes. Is this also limiting? Yes. And shows like The Umbrella Academy, with universes that become increasingly complicated with increasingly detailed lore, suffer quite a lot when trying to contain a story to each individual season. And finale seasons are particularly difficult. Expectations are high. Netflix's production model gives audiences years to build up their anticipation for the finale. Too much time to think, to pick holes in what has already been created, to cool to something they were once passionate about. Delivering a genuinely satisfying finale under these circumstances would be a daunting task.

But with all that being said. Season 4 only has 6 episodes, and it somehow manages to waste so much time. I don't know what's in the water over at Netflix, because I don't know if anyone knows how to waste limited time like Netflix does. If it weren't so irritating, it would almost be impressive.

The truth is, very few of the main characters really matter to the overarching plot of the season, which is a very weird choice, particularly in a final season. It's basically Ben, Jennifer (who we barely know and just met), Hargreeves, Abigail, and tangentially Viktor. Five & Lila are basically completely taken out of play for an episode and a half, where their actions have practically no relevance to the main plot, and the critical information Five gets while using his "new" power could easily have happened without this storyline. Luther & Diego are similarly sidelined by the CIA storyline. And, again, Klaus & Allison are occupied with a side plot that removes them from the main conflict of the season and does not tie in to the finale.

I do not mind the centering of Ben & Jennifer for a season of the show in theory, but with only 6 episodes to tell this story, I think it was a stretch to believe they had the time to do this plotline justice and waste so much time elsewhere. I don't know if this was solely a me issue, but I just... didn't care about Jennifer. I mean, sure, I rooted for her in a passive "she seems nice" kind of way, but even by the end we barely know anything about her. I can live with a "cosmic connection" insta-love situation between Ben & Jennifer (not my favorite trope, but it can be okay), but just because Ben instantly connects with Jennifer, that doesn't mean the audience does. And, to make matters worse, this version of Ben is one that we don't know that well, anyway. Like... his defining character trait is that he's mean and angry. I didn't mind that in season 3, as he was new to us and at odds with our protagonists for most of the season, but we don't really learn much new about him in season 4, either. The bit of Ben's history that we get is from Umbrella Ben, not Sparrow Ben. And Sparrow Ben's personality and history isn't touched on. Why is he like this? It's never explored, not beyond the shallow "the Sparrow Academy wasn't raised as the family that the Umbrella Academy was" that was established in season 3. The fact that we know so little about this version of Ben makes it harder for me to connect with him, as well. So to center these two characters in the final season, and then not even give us scenes to flesh them out as individuals, it just feels like such a waste of time. It didn't need to be Ben and Jennifer. In fact, it very much felt like it was only Ben and Jennifer because everyone has always wanted them to tie "the Jennifer incident" into everything. Again, I think this plot could work fine if given the correct amount of screen time, but as it is, it feels rushed and shallow. We might care about Sparrow Ben (might), but we don't have much reason to care about Jennifer.

Lack of direction - There are only six episodes in this season! Every minute needs to be used wisely. This should be the most focused of all the seasons, every storyline streamlined to tie into the finale of the show. Which is the opposite of what we got. For the vast majority of the show, nothing Klaus or Allison does matters. Nothing Diego or Luther does matters. Nothing Five or Lila does matters. Sure, those storylines touch on individual character development, but when you're planning to kill everyone off in a couple hours anyway, why are we starting down unconnected character arcs that are destined to be left hanging? Every bit of interpersonal character development should be written in a way that ties into the finale plot of the show, so scenes can pull double duty and maximize the limited time available. What was the purpose of Lila and Diego fighting (other than to physically separate them)? What did they learn? How did they change or grow? They didn't. They are split apart, sent down different dead end roads, only to be gathered back up in time to die. They speak words of understanding, but we don't actually get to see them learn or put those changes into practice.

I think about it this way- if Lila and Five had gotten lost into the weird limbo subway system and we never saw what happened to them, and instead they just reappeared from that adventure for the finale, would that fundamentally change anything about how the show’s main plot plays out? No. It wouldn’t. If Klaus had stormed off in 4x03 and Allison had gone after him and we’d never seen either of them again until the finale, would that fundamentally change anything about how the show’s main plot plays out? No. It wouldn’t. If Diego and Luther had gotten their CIA passes and walked into that building and vanished from the story until the final episode of the show, would that fundamentally change anything about how the show’s main plot plays out? No. It wouldn’t. Even Viktor, who is directly addressing the main plot point of Ben & Jennifer’s connection becoming apocalyptic, has very little impact on that storyline leading up to the finale. He speaks to Ben once, he insists on trying to save Ben, and spends the rest of the time working through personal issues with his dad or being attacked in a sequence that has no consequences. The conflicts that these characters encounter have very little bearing on the physical events of the show (they get shot at, they escape. They fight, they escape. They are chased, they escape) and what are the specific consequences? There aren’t any. Viktor gets to use his powers to save Hargreeves and gets shot (I think??) doing it, but he’s fine, and it doesn’t change their approach or goals in any way. Five and Lila are trapped together for years and have a romantic relationship, but then they “go home” and it doesn’t lead to any of the characters deeply changing or acting notably differently in the following events (Five and Diego fight at a bad time, we get a funny reaction from the other siblings, etc. but it doesn't change anything) and then it is never truly resolved. Luther and Diego go to the CIA and this plot is used as a vehicle to reveal the villainy of Five’s boss (so??), but ultimately Luther and Diego get a big fight sequence, learn very little, and take up a lot of screen time for a reveal that could easily have happened in seconds. None of their actions in this storyline blatantly effects the outcome of the show. And Diego feels set up for some character work, but all it really leads to is him being like "I get it," and that change never getting a chance to be actionable. Allison and Klaus reconcile, but only after a lot of screen time is spent on another side quest. Do they really change as people from this story? We don't know because there's not enough time to see. This is clearly not a legit substitution for actually addressing the issues between them, but we don’t have time to do that, either. Not to mention, the conflict between Klaus and Allison isn’t some slow burn issue. It’s doesn’t exist before this season. What is the point of any of these plot lines? Why send Allison and Klaus off together to resolve issues that we only just found out exist, when Allison has canonically been estranged from all of her other siblings since the events of season 3? That is blatantly an unresolved issue, but instead of using her screen time to address her season 3 actions, they create a whole new issue for her and Klaus to fight and then reconcile about. Wouldn’t it be much more interesting to see Allison and Viktor work through their issues once and for all? Or to address all of the ways Allison betrayed Luther in season 3? What about Klaus reconnecting with this version of Ben? What about Luther working through being betrayed by his father? What about Diego and Lila actually being parents? What about really getting to see how this life that Allison sold them all out for isn't even the dream she thought it would be? What if, instead of getting a montage of Lila & Five’s romance, we got a montage of Jennifer and Ben finding and destroying each other in many different worlds? You want to sell me on this tragic, cosmic connection between them? Okay. Sell me on it. Make it hurt. 

Five - I'm just going to be brutally honest here- I believe Five is the strongest driving force of the show and his sidelining in season 4 was a huge mistake. Five might not be the emotional core of The Umbrella Academy, but he is absolutely central and critical to what has worked well in previous seasons. And yet, in season 4, he's pushed to the side and basically written out of the main plot for half of 4x04 and all of 4x05. And then, even when he is around, he's lost a lot of the elements that make him a fan favorite. Let's talk about that- in season 1, Five's return and his mission is where it all kicks off. Yes, technically the inciting incident is Hargreeves' death, but gathering the family without Five's arrival would have been useless and led nowhere. Five drives the entire plot of season 1, while the rest of the siblings get character arcs around him. He makes things happen. He withholds information from his siblings and from the audience. Without him moving the plot forward and tying things together, season 1 would have been a disjointed mess. In season 2, we follow Five's attempts to reunite the family and fix yet another doomsday. Again, he is the one that pushes the plot forward, while the other siblings wander down various other storylines (which is not to say that they are not involved and don't contribute, just that they don't move the plot along to the same degree). In season 3, Five attempts to "retire," but pretty quickly he's back in the thick of things in search of answers and solutions. He is set against Hargreeves in an intellectual face off and is ultimately the one who pieces together the hotel's puzzle. He also discovers that he is, essentially, his own nemesis and behind a lot of what happened in previous seasons (a storyline that feels like it had a lot more to give, possibly, but is abandoned and explained away as "something a version of him did in some timelines,"). But in season 4, Five is... Well, he's suddenly not that relevant. He starts out fine, undercover and attempting to infiltrate The Keepers, and he does push the initial plot forward with his investigation, but then he just drops off the map (literally and figuratively). Five, who has always been the character to seek out answers and the character the audience trails through the bigger plot points of the story, is suddenly out of play. Now we're watching him wander around the multiverse (presumably for an attempt at character development, which ultimately falls flat) where he learns nothing important and falls unconvincingly in love with his brother's wife for an episode and half. Why? Because... they didn't know what to do with him? Honestly, I can't explain why. Five's acerbic wit, his tendency to be one step ahead of the audience, his cockiness, the uncanny personality that is a quirk of being an old man trapped in a young man's body, his absolutely brutal and ruthless methods to protect his family, and his cool fight scenes, it all just vanishes. Suddenly, for the first time, he feels the age of the actor. He feels erased long before he literally is. After 3 seasons of him having one of the coolest powers that leads to some of the coolest scenes, we're suddenly in a world where everyone else has some useful version of their power, while Five's kind of sucks. And like his teleporting power only reappearing at the very end (spurred on to save Lila specifically, rather than his family, because ???), Five's personality is frequently missing. Which leads me to-

Five and Lila - This may be a controversial opinion, but in concept this could have worked. Am I mad at the idea that two characters who are stuck together for years with no one else as company might fall in love, even if they're an odd pairing? No. Like I said, it's okay in concept. But only in concept. In reality, there was neither the time, nor the necessary casting to make this storyline hit properly. Regardless of Five's character's age, or the fact that his actor is (technically) an adult now, this felt flat out wrong to watch. Not only does Five still very much look like a teenager (inevitable, as while Aidan has aged over the course of filming the show, the age of young Five would now, still, vastly outstrip his real age of 20), but we also know that Lila was introduced to him as a child. Lila and Five meet in season 2, in which he is (physically) still a 13 year old boy, while Lila is an adult woman (considering she has the same birthday as the rest of the Umbrella Academy, this would put her at approximately 30 years old at this time). Yes, the exact ages of these characters is a bit messy to track, but no amount of text on the screen telling me so many years have passed is going to allow me to forget this detail, which makes this whole situation, at best, deeply uncomfortable. The fifteen year age gap between the actors is incredibly evident, and this romance is ultimately completely unnecessary for them to evolve in the (frankly minimal) ways that they do. They also pretty brutally sacrificed Diego's character for this. All of Diego's negative traits are cranked up to 100 this season, while Lila's are generally turned down to a low simmer (until she nearly dooms everyone to a meaningless death). While I don't think their relationship being on the rocks, or either of their character's struggle to fit into domestic life, is a bad idea, I again find myself questioning what the point of this storyline was for this particular season. We don't get much of a conclusion. Diego is basically a buffoon all season, Lila is less blatantly fucked up most of the time and also somehow less likable for it, and Five feels out of place in this storyline. Why did we do this? As far as I can tell, it's because they didn't have any other ideas to keep these characters busy while the actual plot happens around them. That's really not a good reason to blow up a dysfunctional but well liked dynamic (Diego and Lila) and never even bother to mop up the blood. And that leads me to-

Lila - Just, in general, I found myself asking "who in the writer's room is ridiculously obsessed with Lila, because that is the only explanation for any of this." For example, Klaus names everybody's problems and can't think of any real issues for Lila?? LILA? Her erratic, risk taking behavior and serious mommy/family issues are the most intensely Lila thing about her?? This is what her entire character is built upon? Why are we acting like she's not been a complete wildcard for the last two seasons?? Her new power doesn't make any kind of sense. Everyone else basically got some version of their old power back (and we eventually learn that Lila does have that power back as well, despite wildly underusing it), but now she has laser eyes.... Because? Her inability to properly control the laser eyes is funny, but also doesn't make any sense. In previous seasons we see Lila quickly adapt to using new powers only moments after acquiring them. If there is any one single person in this whole show who should have adapted to a new power immediately, it would be Lila. And somehow, for some reason, they center Lila during the finale conflict. Everything rests on her decision to stay or go. On her connection to her family (despite us barely seeing her in a room with them all season), instead of literally any of the main Umbrellas we've been following all along. And she gets the last line of dialogue from our main characters. We spend an extended sequence watching The Umbrella Academy slowly sacrifice themselves and Lila gets the last word?? And all of this is coming from someone who actually really loved Lila in seasons 2 and 3. She was one of my favorite characters coming into this season, but this... It just felt blatantly disrespectful to all the other main characters.

Everyone Dying is a Bummer - Okay, don't get me wrong, I'm not set against tragic endings in general, but... I don't think The Umbrella Academy earned this ending (at least not in this way). This idea of the world being better off without them, like they are a mistake that fundamentally ruins the world and must choose to sacrifice themselves in the name of saving humanity, that would (could) be fine. Except that it doesn't feel thematically well supported by the previous seasons, or even just season 4. At its heart, seasons 1-3 followed the ups and downs of Five's journey to save his siblings from the apocalypse, even though they are the ones to cause it. This is his entire goal. He wavers, he actively tries to walk away from this, but he cannot help himself, he always comes back around to this goal. This is what we buy into in season 1. So the idea that this is impossible and that they all must die anyway, feels antithetical to why we are asked to care in the first place. We haven't been asked to care about the world (not in any tangible sense). We watch random, innocent people, or vaguely antagonistic people, get killed in horrible ways left and right in the show and we are not asked to care. We're often asked to laugh. We care about them saving the world because we care about them saving the family, this dysfunctional group of oddballs. Sure, on a very basic and fundamental level we don't want humanity to be wiped out, but the humanity of the surrounding world is never deeply touched upon in the show. And their death wipes out infinite universes. We're told this is "right," but we don't tie any real emotional stakes to it.

Season 4, which centers around saving (or failing to save) Ben and Jennifer, around Viktor's desire to find another way because he loves his brother (even this version of him) and his siblings have always fought so hard to find another way because they love Viktor, asks us to care for these same reasons. Not for the world, but because we care about these particular characters. And the writers decide to sideline Five, whose centering I believe is absolutely essential to pulling off a "they must all die at the end" storyline to begin with. Why? Because he's the one who has fought so hard to save them. To have him not be at the center of the storyline where saving them is not possible makes absolutely no sense. Do I think that a final season where we follow Five coming to the conclusion that they are all doomed could possibly work? Yeah, if they had (and here it is again) the time to dig into that story and show us how he grapples with and fights that resolution tooth and nail until he cannot anymore (they point at it with the diner scene, but don't have the time to let us feel the weight of it). But they don't do that. We don't get to follow him throughout a season trying to cope with this impossible truth. Instead, he accepts that fate in a matter of onscreen minutes and with immediate resignation. (Yes, you could argue this is what he has been doing the last 3 seasons, but we're never truly given the impression that he is trying to prevent an absolute inevitability, only that he is trying to prevent a specific reality). It undermines the foundation of his character, and because Five is the driving force of the first three seasons, it undermines the foundation of those storylines as well. With the limited amount of time they were given to wrap up this show, instead of ending with a "everyone must sacrifice themselves" storyline, I would have, instead, centered Five's personal journey in season 4, which concludes with him realizing there can be one universe in which his family can all live, but only if he dies. They live, but he must sacrifice himself and be erased from existence so they will never mourn him, never know him, never know to be grateful. What could be more fitting for the show, more simultaneously sad and happy, than Five achieving what he set out to do in 1x01 and saving his family and that costing him everything?

Now... how to work that in and fill in some major plot holes at the same time? Well, I have some ideas, but I'm gonna save them for a different post, because while writing this review, I found myself re-outlining season 4 and trying to fix some of nonsensical elements of this season and if I get into that, it needs its own post. But I think it could be done. And speaking of nonsensical events.... Why do the Umbrellas have to die now? Like, logistically speaking, if The Cleanse is a necessary event and every single other world except the "perfect" timeline ends in apocalypse, then why can't they jump on that subway to a different universe where they have more time to be really, truly sure that's the only answer? At the very least they would have had a chance to really say goodbye to each other. We know there are plenty of universes where Ben & Jennifer both exist, there's no reason it has to be now. Since there are infinite "wrong" universes, they have all the time in the world. This is not a decision that has to be made exclusively in this moment, despite being portrayed that way. They don't die, The Cleanse doesn't work, they fact check their solution in a different universe, they get a chance to say their goodbyes, etc. etc. The urgency makes no sense. For that matter, why doesn't Five blip them all down to the subway where the show has already established in this season that time does not pass, so they can have a real conversation about this? There is literally no reason not to do this. They, quite literally, have a character who can take them to a timeless limbo where they can take as much time as they want/need to sort this out. They, quite literally, have that character take an entire family to this place, proving that he is capable of bringing a group of people there, and they don't use it.

It Doesn't Get Better - One of the major themes of Umbrella Academy is dysfunctional family and the way we cope (or don't) with childhood trauma. How burying that pain is destructive and hurts the people around us. And while I don't think the show's intent was to send the ultimate message of, "Actually, it doesn't get better, you'll never heal those wounds, and your existence is a destructive mistake," that's... kind of what it implies anyway. Throughout the whole show we explore the ways these characters are trying to work through the abusive household they grew up in, to move past the things that happened to them, and we watch them process and come together as a family and stand up against their abuser and grow into better versions of themselves and lose their way and pick each other back up. And then we're told that it doesn't matter because they all have to die. It sends a strange message. Personally, I think the show may not ever have intended to really send a message at all. It's absurd and irreverent and tragic and silly. It has never shied away from violence. It's always had a bit of a flippant nihilism hanging about it. And I think there is an argument for "People don't always get what they deserve. Sometimes they just get the short end of the stick and it sucks, but that's just how it is," being an underlying theme worth exploring. It's just... they don't really explore it, they just kind of dump it on us at the end. And because we don't have time to come to terms with this messaging (time, it's all about time), I think a lot of people feel like there's this bait & switch happening. For the last 3 seasons, we've been watching a show that is constantly addressing this childhood trauma and a toxic family dynamic, but then the end of that show is like "and all of these kids are a casualty of their abuser's arrogance and there was literally, not from the moment they were born, anything they ever could have done to grow away from that." It's pretty fucking bleak, to say the least.

Plot Holes For Days - There are more plot holes in this show than a block of Swiss Cheese. There are so many, that I'm still mentally trying to sort out an ending that feels... somewhat in the spirit of what season 4 was intending, and doesn't leave us up to our eyeballs in nonsensical plot points. For example- in The Umbrella's original universe, they already changed things so that they don't exist anymore long before the apocalypse. One of the major plot points of season 3 is that Harlan accidentally killed The Umbrellas' mothers before they were even born (obviously this is a paradox, as Harlan could never do that without meeting Viktor). But Hargreeves was still able to adopt Marigold enhanced children! Marigold kids were still born! We're told in 1x01 that 43 women spontaneously gave birth without having been pregnant, but we're supposed to believe that The Umbrellas, right here and now, have definitely got all of the Marigold in this universe? (And that doesn't even get into the questions surrounding the Marigold's presence in this world, since The Umbrellas did not bring it with them, we see no sign of other super powered versions of them existing in this universe, but if it didn't already exist here in some capacity and no children were born with these powers, then there's nothing inherently wrong with this universe, meaning the apocalypse wouldn't need to happen, and on and on and on. Like if all the Marigold was just in that jar and that counts as being in this world, then they could have just chucked that thing at Jennifer and bam, problem solved.) We know that in the original timeline Hargreeves didn't adopt all the Marigold children, because that's the entire point of Lila's backstory. And what about the other 35 women who spontaneously gave birth and those kids? So how could The Umbrellas possibly know if they are destroying all the Marigold by sacrificing themselves in this world? They can't know that. The existence of The Sparrows (and in another universe The Phoenix Academy) also implies that there could be many universes where The Umbrella kids don't all even exist, but other children were born with their powers, so specifically The Umbrella kids all dying isn't something that would need to be set in stone, since none of the other Marigold kids had to die for The Cleanse to work in this universe. Now, a lot of shows have plot holes or paradoxes or questions left at the end, and a lot of shows I would cut some slack. I'm even willing to ignore a lot of the smaller plot holes in this show, but this is the culmination of the entire series, the explanation for what must happen and why, and the justification for all our main characters being wiped out, and it just doesn't hold up under more than a moment's scrutiny. And that, imo, is a pretty big problem.

Gene & Jean/Villains - So, on a slightly lighter note, another thing that I don't have a problem with in concept is Gene & Jean. They're weird and quirky, as all Umbrella Academy villains seem to be, and I love both actors. It's just that season 4 has a serious problem with its villains in general. That is, there are too many of them and their plans are too convoluted. The ultimate villains being in some way connected back to Hargreeves (and specifically Abigail, who up until this point has had very little to justify her existence in the show) makes sense to me. But the absolutely convoluted mess that is The Keepers cult led by Gene & Jean being at odds with Hargreeves' men who are hiding Jennifer, being at odds with Abigail masquerading as Sy Grossman and then as Gene (I still don't understand why she needed to kill Gene or Jean, like Gene & Jean were already trying to bring about The Cleanse, why is she infiltrating them??), instead of using her resources/position as Hargreeves' wife, is ridiculously messy. The person I watched this season with actually asked me after 4x04 if I had any idea what was happening because they were completely lost. Generally, I am pretty patient about how a show shares information. I always assume that I am picking up what they're putting down, and if I don't understand something, I will when I'm supposed to. That... didn't always feel like the case to me this season. I don't think it was so much that it was hard to follow, but that it just didn't make a lot of sense. The "why" for so many character actions, but particularly the villains, just never fully materializes. Abigail and Hargreeves' sides are fighting in this season, with him attempting to prevent the apocalypse and her trying to bring it about... But what is the justification for the completely convoluted nonsensical path it takes to get there? She seems to have plenty of power over Hargreeves when the kids visit. Why does she need to infiltrate The Keepers? Why do The Keepers need to exist at all? It's just a coincidence that they have the same goals as Abigail? If she actually started them, then I assume she would have installed herself into the organization and not needed Gene to infiltrate it. I don't understand her choices. There were many, many simpler ways to get where they ended up.

So... it's not as if The Umbrella Academy is the first show to do this ending. In fact, one of my favorite shows of all time does this ending (not mentioning it by name because that would be a massive spoiler, obviously). I think this ending is completely possible to pull off. But I also am neither convinced from an in-universe logical point, nor from a storyteller's point, that it earned this ending. Did I want it to be a happily ever after? No. I don't think that would fit tonally with the show. But I wanted it to feel necessary, truly inevitable, and both physically and thematically, I don't buy that it was.

My advice to anyone who was starting this show for the first time would have to be, "don't think too hard about it," because ultimately, if you do it will crumble. Just enjoy the vibes and the bickering and the comedy and strangeness. There's no point in asking too many questions. And for some people, that's totally okay. That's enough. I'm just (shockingly) not one of those people.

So, if you're still with me, I'd love to hear what you guys think. Did you feel emotionally fulfilled? Were there particular plot points you loved or hated? What was your favorite musical choice of season 4? Should I release my redesigned season 4 outline? What ending would you have chosen? I'm open to all opinions! I don't agree with all opinions, but I will very much consider them.

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

I literally cannot handle someone English-degree-splaining how I’m not grasping her genius on this album bc NPR said its themes were engaging. Maybe, but the technique was horrid, sophomorish and embarrassing for a ~decedent of Emily Dickinson~. I have a lit degree and some actual music critics confirmed what I heard: lyrics badly in need of an editor layered over slogging, dirge-like production that had almost no delineation. Sorry im mad lol

see im glad someone with a lit/english degree is here and hating on her. the amount of english majors/grads/scholars who LOVE and i mean LOVE taylor swift really…stun me. and npr mustve been paid or blackmailed to say that shit because what themes 😭

swifties have to default into thinking we’re intellectually inferior and just not understanding her work because they cannot fathom we think her writing sucks. and not only that it sucks but its true that it sucks. and they have got to stop disrespecting these white female literary legends by calling taylor their descendants like please stop disrespecting dickinson and woolf as the sapphic queens they are. taylor is suffocatingly straight.

“lyrics badly in need of an editor layered over slogging, dirge-like production that had almost no delineation.” chefs kiss anon this is going in my quotes list its the perfect description of why it sucks so bad from an artist standpoint because it really, really does.

[pathetickuroo]

a ranking and analysis of “epic: the musical” songs so far, from someone who knows a lot about theater and not a lot about mythology

RANDOM DISCLAIMER: to reiterate from the title, i know a lot about music and theater, but NOT a lot about greek mythology. i'm trying to slowly read the odyssey as sagas release so that i'm never too far ahead but i can still have a sense of where things are going. aside from that, i have very basic foundational knowledge from vague exposure to pjo (but i never got into pjo myself LOL)

(also no one better spoil the odyssey for me in the tags or the comments i swear to god this is supposed to be about the SONGS)

putting it under the cut so people can scroll past if they want; this is long as fuck and i'm not gonna pretend it isn't.

9. the horse and the infant

i almost placed this one higher SOLELY BECAUSE OF "PENELOPE… PENELOPE, AND TELEMACHUS". (side note: low placement absolutely does not mean bad. i love every song in epic. like, excessively.) i'm probably going to talk about odysseus's voice A LOT. i love it. the reason i got into this in the first place is because back when early auditions were happening, one of the demos came up on my fyp and i was baffled by the vocals. from a plot standpoint i really like what this song does lyrically and what it shows of odysseus in particular but also how the gods interact with the mortals. zeus is immediately talking down/condescending to odysseus (which is fair because. it's fucking zeus, and also a detail that was pointed out to me by my friend), who reacts saying he "knows" he's ready for, essentially, whatever zeus throws at him… until he finds out zeus is making him kill a baby. the first two songs in the musical (this and "just a man") both reveal so much about odysseus, which is of course good because that's who we're supposed to sympathize with.

anyway. love this song. fuckin bangs.

8. just a man

normally with these early character-establishing solos i like them a little at first and then always skip them after that first listen. that's just a Thing for me. like, i know who you are now, i don't need to hear it again. but not this song. this was the first song that really told me i was gonna obsess over this musical for a long time and that it was going to ruin my life. my ONLY criticism, and it's not even a big one because it doesn't truly bother me/disrupt my listening experience at all, is that it's hard to hear any distinct emotion from odysseus for most of it. BUT I CAN'T EVEN BE MAD BECAUSE HIS VOICE IS SO STUPIDLY GORGEOUS. maybe that's hyperbole but i feel like you can't blame me for that. again as far as plot hearing odysseus's internal struggle about killing the baby is very foundational for our understanding of the character. also, the dual meaning of the lyric "when does a man become a monster" which as others have pointed out refers (most likely) both to odysseus wondering if fulfilling his end of the prophecy will make him a monster and also wondering when, if this baby grows up, it will cause whatever destruction zeus foretold… i have a lot of feelings. i like this song a lot. a LOT.

SECOND RANDOM DISCLAIMER: at some point, you will probably start to think i sound pretentious. i like my own funny words and think i am a magic man. you are allowed to not like my funny words.

7. open arms

i would like to briefly touch on how much i love steven dookie's voice before we proceed. ok thanks. ANYWAY, this to me is our first real shift away from the musical theater genre-sound, something that i love about modern theater and particularly composition. the vocal style is less theater-inspired to me, too--until the lotus eaters show up--which really speaks to the message of the song in my opinion. the laid back sound after the sort of chaos and pain of the past few songs is refreshing to me. as far as characterization it solidifies what i feel we already knew about polites just from that little bit of him we heard in full speed ahead, but shows the more caring side to his positivity (the "you can relax, my friend" refrain and variations). i also love what it shows about the dynamic between odysseus and polites, establishing further that polites isn't just a soldier but a friend. this is one of the songs that i don't have a lot to say about, truthfully, but mostly because every time i listen to it i'm just enjoying the sound LOL

6. full speed ahead

SIX HUNDRED MEN. SIX HUNDRED MEN UNDER MY COMMAND…. this is where we really meet some new characters, and their introductions--true to form for the show--show a lot about them, both right away when they show up and all the way through the end of the song too. eurylochus, the battle-minded second-in-command to odysseus, and polites, the kind-hearted best friend to odysseus, both make their positions very clear not only in their verses but i feel also in just the way that they greet odysseus/each say "captain" (but that could also just be the different qualities of their voices). re: vocals, more vocal excellence from odysseus (have i mentioned "and ithaca's waiting etc" yet?), and polites sounds so fucking good constantly, and eurylochus has such a consistent tone through his whole verse. re: polites, a lot of the other voices in this musical are kind of standard fare (respectfully! i love theater voices genuinely) for what you imagine theater actors to sound like, but polites (played by steven dookie) has such a unique tone for this medium and i love it so so much. the soldier ensemble is insane too. from a compositional standpoint i LOVE the call and response, particularly on "so, captain, what's the plan? (captain, what's the plan?)" + that section where the soldiers echo odysseus that comes right after that. i didn't think this would beat just a man when i started this, but i was very wrong. very very wrong.

5. polyphemus

i don't want to talk about plot OR musicality, first. i want to talk about sound design. the choice of the particular sound effects that were used with the reverb and the overlapping noises from the sheep paint a very clear picture indeed of polyphemus's cave. (something that definitely did not hurt to accomplish this end was the teaser video where odysseus, eurylochus, and polites were in the dark holding candles (? i think, some kind of small light sources at least).) audio panning was also present in the intro for this track, i would say up until polyphemus starts to sing it's pretty prevalent, and audio panning is my favorite thing you can do to establish spatial understanding in non-visual media. okay, moving on. in this song, odysseus directly parrots polyphemus's words and melody, and this is a theme that continues in the other songs the two are both in. this also, to me, shows that one of the layers of his plan is to make himself seem more agreeable to polyphemus (which in itself as a fact i think is rather clear in terms of plot, but i think the specific methodology from a compositional standpoint is fun). AND JUST TO SAY: the moment at the beginning where this suddenly becomes a horror musical made my heart drop through my ass in the best possible way. i had to stand up for the rest of the saga because sitting down limited my range of motion too much and i had to go insane. in terms of characterization, we know that odysseus is smart and resourceful mostly from what we hear about him from others, but i feel like this song is the first one where we see that firsthand. i love this song.

4. warrior of the mind

the first song i had to just sit with and loop for a while (i did the same with just a man, but several days later upon relisten). athena's vocals never fail to astound me, teagan earley's tone is so clear and strong, and this is kind of specific but i like the choices she made on vowel placement, particularly on that last "mind" in the first chorus. also, i'm not even going to beat around the bush: i'm a trumpet player, i've been playing trumpet for theater and in other contexts for almost a decade now, and when i heard that low trumpet line underscoring the first establishment of the melody in the chorus, i KNEW an octave kick was coming and i was THRILLED when it delivered so perfectly. i don't know if it's synth trumpet or a live musician, i assume synth just for ease of production, but either way, i'm obsessed with it. absolutely a fantastic composition choice when it comes to ramping up the energy of the second half of that chorus. again in regards to composition: obsessed with odysseus's harmonic line in the second chorus. it took me a while to pick the notes out because i go a little harmony-blind sometimes when i'm too busy ooh-ing and ahh-ing but once i got that line in my head i was all about it.

(did not think this section would be so wordy, but) what this song shows about athena in my eyes is her fondness for odysseus--which sounds obvious until you remember how zeus interacted with him vs how athena does. athena gets close to talking down to odysseus sometimes, yes, but in more of a human, sarcastic way ("you'll see where it ends"). one could argue that the entire intro is her condescending to him in some way, certainly, but when she almost immediately also establishes that she sees the merit in his skills and his mind and has for some time now, it takes away the sort of preachy sound that was there when zeus was doing it. again in the characterization vein it shows odysseus's spirit, the more childish side of him (of course, because he was younger for much of this song) that we don't get to see in the songs that are set in the "present" period. in warrior of the mind, we see odysseus, the boy. in all the other songs, we see odysseus, the king.

anyway. i adore this song. if that wasn't, like. clear.

3. survive

THE ECHO OF THE HORSE AND THE INFANT. MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR. people other than me have said that this could be a way of showing that the fight with polyphemus is the will of the gods and i can see the merit in that standpoint but i also think that this is, in this telling at least (which is a distinction i make because i started the odyssey literally today and read maybe 10 pages before i had to go to class so i don't concretely know the details), showing that this is the first real conflict odysseus and the soldiers have been in since the seige of troy. also interesting to note: this song, if i'm not mistaken, is actually in compound meter at least in certain parts (before u fight me on this take a second to count it both ways, i'm not even entirely sure because of how i've been feeling the pulse). also, this reestablishes what i said earlier about polyphemus and odysseus parroting each other, but in this case i think it's polyphemus trying to do as much damage to odysseus and the soldiers as possible, certainly more like mocking them than trying to communicate on their level. (but also, melodic repeats are kind of just how music works, lol. remember when i said u might start to think im pretentious?)

now, maybe this is my sympathetic lens for odysseus showing, i fully admit that bias and own up to any way it may skew my judgement, but in that first chorus, i feel like odysseus isn't just trying to rally his men but to find the will in himself to fight as well. after the long war in troy and being confronted with polites's ideology, i would certainly be weary and sick of fighting. something about "it's just one life to take / and when we kill him then our journey's over" sounds so self-consoling to me. idk! maybe just me!

i'm, uh. not gonna talk much about the plot at the end, there. for obvious reasons, as someone who foolishly got attached to polites. we're gonna gloss over that. (fellow polites likers, how we feelin, though? we all coping?)

2. remember them

if you'll recall from many many paragraphs ago, i mentioned that in "just a man", i felt like there wasn't much emotion in odysseus's voice. this? the intro of this? this, to me, kind of makes up for that. and i mean the VERY beginning, the anger/intensity in that first verse. something that i noticed, that the fellow polites likers will be upset with me for pointing out, is that starting on "mark my words now" and through eurylochus asking "but captain, what'll we do with our fallen friends?", the guitar in the back is playing the melody of "we're up, we're off, and away we go" from "full speed ahead", the first song we hear from polites in. (sorry guys, if i was burdened with this knowledge you will be, too.)

this song and "polyphemus" both do a really good job of establishing horror-style tension. eurylochus's "there are more of them?" and what i would call horror sirens on the strings in the beginning of polyphemus are what i mean, here. it gives that nice stomach-swoopy feeling that recreational horror is so fond of. the ramping tension when eurylochus is pleading with odysseus to order them to run is fantastic too.

re: odysseus vocals. "my friend is dead! our foe is blind! the blood we shed, it never dries! is this what it means to be a warrior of the mind?!" will never NOT make me insane. it makes me want to scream, genuinely. and via the lyrics and instrumental sound we understand the ruthlessness of odysseus's vengeful side as well. again, possibly my sympathetic lens, but "let's grab the sheep and away we go" and during the argument up to that aforementioned point, odysseus just sounds tired to me.

also, i'm sure we all collectively shat our pants when we heard athena. i don't have much to comment on the matter further than that, but know that i was losing my fucking mind as soon as i heard her voice.

last thing: odysseus's choice of words when revealing his name is interesting to me. the "infamous" odysseus? infamy has a very negative connotation and maybe that's just him acknowledging that to polyphemus he'll always be painted in a negative light due to his actions in the cave, but it's an interesting choice in verbiage to me.

1. my goodbye

you were a fool if you thought this was ever gonna get anything other than first place of all the songs that are out so far. hearing athena and odysseus tear each other to pieces was so satisfying on the second listen with the new understanding that the partnership was sort of exhausting on both ends. i confess that my first thought right after i finished this song the first time was "HOLY FUCKING SHIT" but my SECOND one was "bro really wrote a breakup song and thought we wouldn't notice (but said with a positive connotation)". as far as i understand it, and i've asked questions about this so i'm fairly certain, there was nothing romantic in nature about the relationship between athena and odysseus (which i see as a good thing), and the song sounding like a breakup song is more a fun creative choice. and i DO think it's fun, in that case! so with that interpretation in mind, when i go back to the lyrics now, i think about how odysseus's original idea that he and athena would be friends was shot down and in this song i start to feel that maybe despite athena's best efforts they DID consider each other as friends. and of course i think that's intentional--that's why "you're not looking for a mentor, i'm not looking for a friend" cuts so deep.

there's also something in the way the two characters argue with each other that i find so compelling. i feel like athena is really trying to be right, or maybe not that she's trying to be right per se but that she's trying to make odysseus understand why he's wrong. odysseus, on the other hand, seems to be trying to hurt athena as much as possible, in as few words as possible. athena's argument has one core idea, and it's that odysseus is reckless/unfit to be her disciple because he's too emotional. odysseus, on the other hand, brings up several points, like 5 or 6 different little gripes about athena that he's probably been holding onto for who-knows-how-long. it just shows how the focus is entirely different on both parts and i like it a lot LOL

vocals absolutely deliver of course, that goes without saying. and i made that point earlier about how i felt odysseus didn't show much emotion in voice, and maybe this is just me being the #1 jorge rivera-herrans defender or something but i feel like a sort of detached-ness was intentional this time. like odysseus saying, "you can't fire me, because i quit." that's not entirely me being biased, i think the language reflects it too: "this way, you'll close the door and have your damn goodbye." that sounds dismissive to me, and the way that he previously frames athena leaving as something that would be good for him ("this way, you won't plague my life").

anyway….. less of a ranking and more of a song analysis where the songs just so happen to also be ranked. this was originally gonna be on my priv twitter, but the character limit was driving me up the wall, so. here.

[charmcoin]

being an artist is like the ultimate exercise in self confidence i feel. listening to some songs off gnx again and thinking about the response that album got at least on socmed and it's really emphasizing for me the power of like. creating something for yourself and creating something that you personally can be proud of instead of worrying about what other people are going to think of it.

like i think as an artist especially as a musician (ESPECIALLY as a critically acclaimed musician) people are always going to have a certain expectation of you and what you make. and especially if you made an album they really liked people are just going to want you to release the same album over and over again instead of pushing the envelope and trying something new. i feel like the culture nowadays really emphasizes sameness and consistency over innovation and i'm not saying that like, you have to like everything someone puts out sometimes an album or song just isn't going to hit for you and that's fine. the thing that bothers me is when an artist puts out an album that's different from their previous works or when they try something new and people get mad because it's not xyz it's not like that album they really liked.

& like with music in particular a lot of people are just going to go i don't like how this sounds and move on but like an album is an artistic project you know. i think when you're listening to an album and trying to give your thoughts on it you have to approach it from the standpoint that it is an artistic project, that the artist had a vision and intent and a goal. and you don't have to LIKE that vision, but i feel like if they accomplish that vision it's difficult to say that the album is "bad" you know. of course all artistic review is subjective and the thing you connect with isn't going to be the thing that someone else connects with but i just get frustrated when people don't like something because it's not something else. Like maybe that's the point. you know. so sometimes you have to make something that people aren't going to like because you want to make it. and that's fine

[stgroversfire]

LOOOONG fnaf sb ruin post here. lots of criticism and thoughts no one cares about, and of course spoilers.

take it all with a grain of salt, because while i know a lot about the story, i'm a 23 year old that got into the franchise 8 years ago and i havent actively kept up with the lore since fnaf 6.

and because in researching more for this post i found out there's key lore points in the fucking books and i'm not reading a glorified manual to understand the story of a game i paid 40 bucks for.

i want to be kinder to fnaf sb ruin, but i still feel disappointed.

from a gameplay standpoint, it was, of course, a VASTLY improved game. this is a tumblr post not a review, so i'll keep it short, but by god did the dlc actually have intention and vision that the original lacked, with a lot less bugs (more than i find acceptable, but the bar was low here so i'm taking the W). the core gameplay mechanics actually felt like they belonged in the game and made the experience better, and this free dlc went a long way to making sb's $40 price tag closer to worth it.

the atmosphere was stunning to me- much creepier and like it actually belonged in a horror game. the free roam aspect being less painfully redundant and more linear was a great improvement for player experience. the AR mechanic was maybe a touch cluttered, but i still loved it and was glad to see creative ideas implemented without obvious scope creep.

story wise... well, i'm quite sure i must be missing something. after sb i had so many questions, and i think like one of them is answered. there's something to be said about fnaf sticking to its guns and keeping a lot of lore up to speculation, but i haven't fully grasped what the fuck is happening since pizzeria sim.

it's probably a bit soon after release to be shitting on the story but uh. i still don't know who tf gregory is or his relevancy to the plot. i don't know who cassie is or her relevancy to the plot. i liked her character but it felt like a skeleton of a story. every relationship felt too threadbare to justify character actions (although retrospectively there is something to be said about the actions of children being impulsive). and while it's not inherently bad, i personally don't love every piece of her backstory being some one off line that is never explored (i.e. paraphrasing "this faz wrench is like my dads!" and "maybe your friends will come next time").

i was fascinated by the mimic as an antagonist, and relieved to see anyone but springtrap, but having to google who he was and why he randomly changed forms in the scooper ending (??? did i miss something?) to understand the dlc kind of killed a lot of excitement for me. really great design though, and even if it was a bit obvious i enjoyed the whole mimicking gregory thing.

as for the endings: i'm a bit confused as to why gregory would frantically try to save cassie, only to attempt to kill her off. i'm also not sure why he knows about the mimic in the first place. i have my own theories, sure, but speculation doesn't mean much when the concrete scenes we got gave us nothing. i really wanted more information on gregory and frustratingly ended with more goddamned questions. the scooper ending was cool, even if it confused the shit outta me. fredbear ending was uh. actually very creepy to me and probably my favorite of the bunch. the dichotomy of the cheery music and graphics vs cassie's terrified breathing was creepy af and i wish that wasn't just the joke ending.

i'm losing steam here so i'll try to wrap up. all in all, i went into ruin mostly blind and was really hoping for any kind of wrap up on who gregory is (adding here that im now aware that's in the books, but i really really hate the idea of supplemental paid reading for a paid video game), and while i don't hate cassie, i was a little disappointed to see any expansion on the original story. the gameplay was such a different and improved experience i can't believe it came from the same studio.

and despite me absolutely ripping into this thing, i'm really excited to see more from steel wool and scott. help wanted 2 should be a much less disjointed experience, with some really cool tie ins to vanny (if i understand the lore at all)

EDIT: I FORGOT ABOUT THE VANNI SYSTEM. the bunny enemy was very fucking well designed, made complete sense with the story while also preventing the player from staying in AR too long, and fixed a lot of what made the original animatronic AIs feel extremely janky. that creepy bunny guy takes the game from like. a 5/10 to a 7/10.

if you made it this far i'm sorry you read all that and i hope your day is as wonderful as you are, much love.

[pynkhues]

I saw your recent post about Anna and I totally agree. Kinda different situation but I was watching the Grammys and I saw that Harry won which? ….. I just never got the hype.. like??? Anyways lol . This is messy But I was wondering if there are any other actors or any celeb that you feel is “over rated “and some stars that you feel are underrated?

Aha, I was actually a little surprised with how many people agreed with that post on Anya Taylor-Joy. She's so huge with critics and on film tumblr / twitter these days, and honestly, I've never gotten it – from The Witch to Split to The Miniaturist to New Mutants to Emma and now The Menu, I just think she's ?? Tall?? And has a unique look?? To be fair, I haven't seen The Queen's Gambit, which I think a lot of people think of as her best work so far, so maybe I'm missing out, but honestly I just don't get it. I find her passable at best, and actually pretty bad in certain roles (I think she is woefully miscast in The Menu in particular).

As for Harry - - yes. Agreed, haha. I actually talked a bit about him a while ago here, but to say that I was surprised by his Grammy win is an understatement. I'm so fascinated by his speech and the fallout of it though, particularly in the way it amplifies this degree of calculated ambiguity around his public persona. In a lot of ways, I think it's kind of genius, right? That by keeping it vague regarding his sexuality, his relationship status, his political views, and now his class status (the latter of which I'm particularly fascinated by and thinking about a lot), his team gets their pick right? He plays it coy, and they play the field - it's a win-win where no one's accountable because nobody actually says anything, and as a result, he sells a lot of albums and tour tickets, while having no actual impact culturally, because how can you when you have nothing to say?

But yes, that wasn't your question, mmm, overrated actors right now, can I give you a very controversial one? Because having watched Tar last week, I feel pretty comfortable right now saying Cate Blanchett.

Don't get me wrong, I do think she's talented, but especially as an Australian, I tend to think of her, Toni Collette and Nicole Kidman as the gold standard of internationally recognised Australian actresses right now, and I think Toni and Nicole leave her in the dust. In no small part, I think it because Toni and Nicole are really diverse actresses from a genre standpoint - they've both done horror, romantic comedies, chick flicks, prestige drama, action, sci-fi and fantasy - and yeah, okay, Cate's done some of that, but not all of it, and her characters are kinda always the same? I think she's a powerful actress, but I actually don't think she has range.

Favourite underrated? There's a lot, but I will say someone who immediately springs to mind is actually Kid Cudi. He was a real highlight in How to Make It in America, and I think he's insanely charismatic and elevated his roles in X and We Are Who We Are well beyond what was on the page. I really love his music too, and just think he's a really interesting artist overall. God, I think his music in particular has shaped trends in ways that rarely get acknowledged, and that he should be at a point in his career where he's much more of a household name than he is.

[lesbiancarat]

so i saw a tiktok where someone was talking about fandom colors and their video was mostly reflecting on 3rd gen, but they made a comment that they weren't sure if fandom colors were a thing for 4th gen anymore. and i was kind of like huh, now that i think about it, idk if i've heard of 4th gen groups having fandom colors either, so i went to kprofiles about it

and i just clicked on the profiles of a few bg's and gg's each so it's not like i can speak in absolutes here, but i did look at all of what i consider the top/most active groups bc i felt like they would be a good representation of the trends of 4th gen. and interestingly, none of the boygroups i looked at had fandom colors listed, while most of the girl groups i looked at did

and maybe i'm analyzing it too much, but i always felt like fandom colors played a big role in defining a group's brand and identity. because if you look at some of the most popular 3rd gen groups and their fandom colors we have (forgive me that i'm not going to get the exact color names right, i know they have specific names, but part of the point i'm trying to drive home is that these colors are recognizable even by non-fans):

nct with a neon green. gives of modern, experimental vibes, which also describes their music perfectly. just like their music, it's out there, it's loud, not everyone likes it, but for those that do, it's super fun. none of this is an insult, it's perfect marketing for them imo

twice with peach and pink. it's very girly and fun, again, like their music. it's not a hot pink that might be associated with more sexy concepts, it's softer, which fits the cutesy-ness of their music

seventeen with rose quartz & serenity. also pretty soft and cutesy, again, it fits their early concept of boyish and bright songs

blackpink with, well, black and pink (not sure if this is technically official, but like, c'mon). pink, again, very heavily associated with girliness/femininity, while the black brings some edginess to it, which also perfectly fits their brand

and like, i know some of the explanations i'm giving may sound stereotypical (pink is a girl color, etc.), but like it or not, as a society, we do associate certain things with certain colors, and that's the reason these color choices can work so well for branding. (and i'm not saying those expectations can't or shouldn't be subverted, just that, when it come to things like gg's and the color pink, we know it's not a coincidence)

but anyway, going back to my point of fandom colors helping to define a group's brand/identity. i wonder if the reason 4th gen boy groups don't seem to have fandom colors is because they don't have as set of a brand or concept as it were? and i want to disclaim that i don't say this to be like "4th gen bg's bad :(" bc personally i enjoy a good number of 4th gen bg songs, and i do think 4th gen bg's are worthy of having fans. anything that may sound like criticism is more directed at general trends and how companies are choosing to market their groups. but i'm also going to avoid listing specific groups so no one feels like they're being attacked lol

(also want to disclaim that i'm talking purely about title tracks here, i think in general bsides are inherently less important to overall branding and allow for more exploration so i'm not taking that into consideration)

honestly i can think of a few 4th gen bg's that have a very distinct and consistent sound, and those few also didn't have fandom colors listed, so maybe this argument doesn't hold water. but i feel like i've run into a lot of 4th gen bg's that completely change their sound every comeback. and i don't think this is inherently a bad thing, but i do think it is harder to, from a marketing standpoint, acquire a lot of casual listeners. you might get them interested in one song, but if they don't get that same sound they like for the next song, and they're not invested in the members, what's to keep them interested? but they can still keep afloat if they have enough dedicated stans that will listen to whatever the group puts out

so you end up with a bunch of groups that have no solid identity in terms of like, a distinct, recognizable sound or visual brand. and i think, ironically, this is why for the casual listener, a lot of 4th gen bg's can start to run together, which is why you get a lot of people complaining that "all 4th gen bg's sound the same". which is obviously subjective and not something everyone agrees with, but i think it does stem from more than just 2nd and 3rd gen stans not liking change. i genuinely think there's been a big marketing failure when it comes to 4th gen bg's

the reason i don't think this has been an issue for 4th gen gg's comes down to their audience compared to bg's. it's pretty much always been the case that gg's tend to be more popular with the general public and casual listeners, while bg's tend to have bigger and more dedicated fanbases than gg's (again, tendency, i'm not saying there aren't any dedicated gg stans or that bg's are never popular with the general public). because of this, bg's have always had more freedom to experiment with their music and their concepts, because they have dedicated fanbases that will support whatever they put out, even if they don't really like it. and, of course, because everything gg's do is seen under the lens of misogyny, and in general get harsher criticism than bg's do. so gg's on the whole kind of have to stick to a set brand and not experiment too much (or at all) in order to be successful

again, none of this is meant to criticize 4th gen bg's as a whole, and definitely not meant to criticize individual groups or their fans. ultimately there are a lot of people that stan these groups and enjoy their music, and as long as people are having fun, then it's fine. but i do think it's interesting to look at how the marketing trends have changed and how it might contribute to some of the criticisms we see of 4th gen bg's in particular. and obv i don't know everything that goes on in the kpop industry, so maybe i'm missing something obvious, but these are just some thoughts i had that i wanted to share :')

[jamdoughnutmagician]

10 characters, 10 fandoms, 10 tags

The lovely @bookshelfdreams tagged me (thanks for the tag!) to do this, and while I can't guarantee this will be a coherent list of characters (and reasons why I like them!) hopefully this will help at least make for interesting reading, if not some very un-hinged thoughts at the very least 🤷‍♀️

Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)

Rose was one of my earliest memories of being obsessed with a character. I started watching Doctor Who in about 2006/during season 2 (I would have been about 8/maybe 9 years old at the time) so I missed her initial introduction in season 1, but I went back and rewatched her stuff with the ninth doctor and I just absolutely loved how she was just an ordinary working class girl who wanted to go on adventures (of course I didn't understand that this was the reason why I loved her so much as a kid but yeah..)

Bucky Barnes (MCU)

Look, I know we all have our opinions/ and criticisms on the mcu (which I totally understand) but there was just something about Bucky that I gravitated towards (Probably because I found Sebastian Stan attractive, but I digress.) A young boy who was willingly wanting to go fight in the war to defend his country and then ending up going through arguably the worst kind of trauma that someone could go through. Then to see his journey and story progress through the years, for me, has been a real treat to watch.

Eddie Munson (Stranger Things)

Eddie became a very quick favourite of mine in such a short space of time (partly to Joseph Quinn playing him brilliantly) but I just loved how his character COULD have been this dark, brooding, misunderstood teen, but he was ACTUALLY a very sweet and warm character, despite what everyone else thought of him. He was just a funky little metal-head D&D nerd, and I loved him for that. I just really need him back for series 5 Please!!

Orla McCool (Derry Girls)

Again, Orla was just someone I gravitated towards, I can't quite put my finger on why, I just really liked her giddy optimism and strange but sweet outlook on things!

Harley Quinn (DCEU) is that what it's called sorry idk about these things! 🤦‍♀️

Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn is very special to me (Especially in her post Suicide Squad era) because she's outlandish and wacky, but also incredibly smart and quick. I'd read a handful of Harley comics and I just think she's really cool.

Elphaba Thropp (Wicked The Musical)

I can't really speak too much about her novel version because I haven't read enough of the book to form an opinion, but stage Elphaba has my entire heart. She's unapologetic in standing up for what she believes in and fighting what she believes is right, and I admire that about her.

Mabel Mora (Only Murders in the Building)

More so I love her relationship between Oliver and Charles, but Mabel's willingness to get stuck in and try to help to solve murders alongside her two slightly older friends was a very interesting dynamic to watch! Also I would kill to have her outfits because girls got style.

Gina Linetti (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

How could you not love the absolute self-confidence and bravado of Gina Linetti! She was as will forever be the most <3

Tecna (Winx Club)

Although I sat through both seasons of that bad neflix adaptation, nothing compares to the original cartoon in my eyes (at least the first 4 seasons anyway.) I think it has something to do with how it captured my attention as a kid because the idea of pretty fairies to me as a child was very appealing! I think (although the whole group had their own merits) Tecna was my favourite even just from a character design standpoint.

Becky Lynch (WWE)

I don't know if this technically counts since she's a real person, and considering I haven't watched WWE for a while but Becky's in-ring persona, was always a fascinating and exciting watch for me! Especially finding her feet as 'Becky-Two-Belts' and her being 'The Man', she was strong, powerful and for a long time under-rated as a performer, but I loved her so so much!

Tagging (sorry I'm not tagging 10 people, also don't feel like you have to do this at all!)

@the-odd-aardvadillo @unlimiteddream90 @lucyferchrist @ndj-blogs @smute @pherre @amidalasweets @theravensdreamer

[lovely-v]

LOTR (films) Review

So I finally watched the LOTR films (20 years later). I’m super excited to review these because I read the books very recently so I feel at least a little prepared to voice some opinions. Overall I loved the films, here’s a very long (but by no means exhaustive) compilation of my thoughts, which are of course, totally subjective:

(Warning: a lot of me saying “well, actually, in the book...”)

THINGS I LIKED

- Casting! not much to say here, I thought the casting was great. One of my favorite actors that I didn’t think i’d have a huge opinion on was David Wenham as Faramir. I was kinda ambivalent on him when I saw pictures but i thought he did a great job. he showed his quality.

- Music. so much has been said about the films on the music front. I can’t offer too much original insight but when a bit of the Shire theme started to play as Frodo tries to make his way up Mount Doom I cried a little.

- Boromir and Aragorn. I liked the scene where they interact a little in Rivendell. I also like how Aragorn saves Boromir in the Moria battle and gives him this little nod of friendship. I think the films did a great job portraying the dynamic they have where Aragorn is clearly suspicious of Boromir’s motivations but grows to respect him to the point where he doesn’t even blame Boromir for being corrupted by the ring because he understands that, at heart, Boromir is a good person. 

- Sam and Frodo in Osgiliath. I expected to be kind of annoyed with the way this plot point played out (I knew ahead of time that it strayed from the book), but I actually liked it a lot. As I’ll say later, there’s some gripes I have with the way the films extremely play up the disagreements between Frodo and Sam, but I loved the scene where Frodo pulls the sword on Sam and then seems so defeated when he realizes what he’s done. I was pleasantly surprised by how emotional this scene made me. It’s admittedly A Lot, but it was done nicely, especially in conjunction with Sam’s “there’s good in this world” speech.

- Treatment of the ending. I almost think I should dislike the ending as it is in the movies, but my heart is soft and I like that they sugarcoated it a bit. I know the whole point of the Scouring of the Shire and Frodo’s depression conveys a lot about war and trauma and I think that is important, but after watching these things for twelve hours I just wanted Frodo & co. to be happy and I was kinda relieved that they cut the Scouring. Does that make me weak and perhaps bad at film analysis? yes. do I care? no. I was also very glad that the movies didn’t portray how depressed Sam was about losing Frodo in the end. Yes, he cries, but when he walks home to his family he seems happy and in the books that scene came off so much bleaker. I definitely liked the lighter tone.

THINGS I WAS NEUTRAL ON/DIDN’T LIKE

- Arwen. (Neutral) I don’t hate her, I don’t love her. I think the story she and Aragorn have is compelling and I 100% get why the filmmakers decided to add it to give her character more depth, but it felt misplaced at times. maybe it’s just because it was the only storyline I didn’t know in depth, but the scenes with the Arwen/Aragorn flashbacks felt a bit confusing and disorienting. Don’t have anything against Arwen as a character though, I think she’s pretty alright.

- Gimli. (Complicated thoughts) I want to start off by saying I don’t dislike Gimli. I like him a lot! I just think the movies did him a bit dirty. He had some good movie-exclusive moments, but I think his character really fell into this place of being the butt of too many jokes. Would have liked to see some more serious Gimli development, especially with his relationship to Legolas. Their friendship felt too much like subtext here, whereas it’s explored far more in the books.

- Two Towers Pacing. (Didn’t really like). The pacing of TTT was...weird. maybe I’m going into this with a closed mind because of the books, but it was odd to have the movie begin with Frodo and Sam and then have them only appear for a few rapid scenes after that. I think the fact that a WHOLE LOT of what happens to Frodo and Sam in TTT is moved to RotK is what makes it feel that way? In the books, Two Towers ends with Sam discovering that Frodo isn’t dead from Shelob’s sting, and I was surprised by how long it took the movies to get to that part. However, I will give the films a little leeway because I think they needed Frodo & Sam content for RotK, since most of what happens in that book is them walking through Mordor basically starving and dying. Doesn’t make for great cinema I guess, so they had to put the whole Shelob/Cirith Ungol saga into the final film. Still, I think there’s a weird lack of Frodo and Sam’s presence in TTT.

- The go home/missing bread arc. (Full of rage abt this one) yeah. so. my criticism of this is gonna sound pretty tired because people complain and complain about this part of RotK. but I’m gonna complain some more!! I don’t think the split between Frodo and Sam does anything for the plot. I really don’t. I guess it emphasizes the fact that Sam doesn’t understand how much Frodo is projecting onto Gollum, but it’s just. unnecessary angst? They had enough angst in the Osgiliath scene! Which I actually liked! And it simply doesn’t make a lot of sense for Frodo to suspect Sam of eating the bread when Sam had already offered Frodo his own food and made it clear that he would very much starve if it meant making sure Frodo could eat. But what I hate most about this scene is not that Frodo gets mad and tells Sam to go home. No. It’s that Sam actually... thinks about doing that? he actually? goes down the staircase? emotionally this is bad because Sam clearly cared enough about Frodo to follow him this far, to nearly drown for him, so why would he leave now. Practically this is bad because 1. how would Sam get out of Mordor alone and 2. where would he go. He turns around almost immediately, yes, but what was his plan. where was he going. why.

THINGS I LOVED

- For Frodo! This line, and every other shoutout to Frodo. In the books, they didn’t really actively talk about/worry about Frodo (and Sam) as much as they do in the movies. I like that they talk about Frodo more in the movies! I like that they’re thinking about him! I know it was implied that they were in the books, but I really like how it’s shown here. I think it gave a more complete picture of how much they all care about him on a personal level in addition to just needing him to succeed from a pragmatic standpoint. 

- Merry and Pippin! I feel like Merry and Pippin were so well rounded in the films. I’ve heard criticism about them being turned into comic relief characters (which they always were a little bit) but it honestly didn’t feel that way to me. They had a bit of a rough start because the films didn’t make their motives for going with Frodo as deep as the books did, but I think that by TTT they were absolutely amazing characters in every scene. In RotK their respective arcs hit really well and the scene where Pippin is singing to Denethor? *chef’s kiss* poetic. beautiful. sad. idk man I just feel like I have such a newfound appreciation for Merry and Pippin.

- Parallels! people have pointed out the parallel of Frodo and Sam’s hands before (drowning scene/mount doom scene) and I love how the movie did that. Just stunning. Also! The moving of the Smeagol & Deagol scene to RotK surprised me because in the books it was like,,,at the beginning of Fellowship, but I think the placement of it in the movies really helped emphasize the similarities between Smeagol & Deagol and Frodo & Sam (and how much Frodo fears this similarity.) There were a lot of other well done parallels between storylines and a few bits of dialogue that were repeated with great timing, but I can’t remember all of them at the moment.  

Edit: here’s one I remembered! when Frodo wakes up after being rescued and sees Gandalf, he says Gandalf’s name in a very similar tone to the one he used at the very beginning of Fellowship. It was a nice little subtle connection.

- I can’t carry it for you...alright this is self-indulgent. everyone knows I love this line. I’m just so glad it made it into the movie intact. Sean Astin’s delivery was amazing. I cheered. My mom cheered. It’s a raw line and it makes me feel secret emotions...like if shrimp colors were feelings. that line makes me feel shrimp feelings. idk i’m so tired i just watched twelve hours of movies this review is decreasing in quality by the minute but i’m about done for now anyway

Various silly afterthoughts

- I would have liked to see Sam kiss Frodo’s hands at least once. This happens 50 thousand times in the books, they could have given me one scene. one little extended edition scene. Please Peter Jackson I’m dyin’ out here

- They literally made Gollum so hateable. kinda the point yes, but I was so on board with Sam’s murderous rage. I know why Gollum’s a profoundly complex character, I know why Frodo pities him, I know why murder is bad, but I too would throw hands with that creature. also he literally body shamed Sam so much what was that skdjksdjksd. Sam is lovely. let him commit a small homicide. 

- the scene where merry and pippin drink the tall boy juice (as someone once referred to it in the tags of one of my posts)... not accurate to the books (since they don’t ever drink it with the end goal of getting tall) but so accurate to life. if I found some water that made me taller than my friends? let me at it

- Frodo panicking when he falls into the spider webs. so real bestie. i felt just as panicked watching that. i am terrified of spiders and Elijah Wood did an amazing job doing exactly what i’d do in the situation. yelping a lot and falling down.

- I feel like it’s never stated that Sam’s a gardener (or at least that he’s specifically Frodo’s gardener) until he tells Faramir he is. Did I miss this. Or do they really never say.  are you just meant to know. are you just meant to pick up gardener vibes from him.

*

This has been a very chaotic lotr movie review. Thanks for reading.

[rethesun]

When 1D deny bad management and more such as closeting

I did some critical thinking for myself and realized a few things. What I wrote here is likely not groundbreaking at all. I'm just probably someone far behind catching up and hopefully, this makes sense. It’s a trust the process post because I have a feeling it may ruffle the feathers of larries and antis until you get to the end. Please note that it is not my intention to disrespect anyone at all but I can’t please everyone. I learned the hard way that I am allowed to share an opinion too. 

When Niall or another 1d member denies such an issue and so causally, or Zayn in this 2015 fader interview. it confirms a fear that by speculating and I sometimes buy into conspiratorial thinking I’m in the wrong and I’m rude and I need a reality check. It also makes me feel like I need to apologize take a huge step back, and, from now on, respect what they say. Fyi, I’ve never been okay with invasiveness and I morally feel many people take it way too far. Regardless of larry, all types of fans can be invasive/disrespectful. 

Now that those disclaimers are out of the way I’ll get into it.

For argument's sake, lets say,

It isn't true that 1d management or anyone else's management mistreat, e.g., threaten, harass, lie about/abuse/take advantage of young minds/closet/pr stunt people in the industry. Meaning, the norm is that artists are treated well and with respect. Then that means Rebecca Ferguson's story is just a one-time thing or a blip in the system that happens now and then; all in all, rarely ever. Seeing as that is true in this scenario, people would rush to her defense and be outraged. They would make it known it should not happen again or fight for/encourage better laws, so in the future it's less likely to happen. They would say ‘I would never work in/promote/support such a company if I knew.’ Would they not? 

Note: Of course, people stay closeted all of the time so it’s entirely plausible people are advised to not be open about it or choose not to be open, and unfortunate mistreatment stories like the boy band Why Don’t We, Britney Spears', Rebecca Ferguson's, Amanda Bynes' Zayn Malik’s, Liam payne’s, Miley Cyrus' (when she was working for disney) Princess Diana (even though her circumstances were a bit different) and more exist. Sometimes these stories and issues are brought up, although it's usually mentioned for a moment, and it's easily forgotten or they blame the victim or it’s brushed off with an excuse or something to soften the harshness of it’s reality. One example of many here, here, & here.

Now let's try a different pov:

For argument’s sake, lets say,

It is true that: a) 1d was overworked and very much dehumanized. Their mental and physical health was not the priority when it should always have been, and/or b) one or more people chose/were advised/pushed (Idk which since Idk them personally) to stay in the closet because xyz.

In this circumstance, such a thing as a an industry that does the above^ is common knowledge because it’s the norm. A recent example & Adding this here again because yep. 

It makes me think of when people see mistreatment in let’s say a workplace, and instead of people coming together at the person's defense, they turn a blind eye. Now why would anyone turn a blind eye to abuse? Unless you are somehow affected by it? Either that or you straight up don’t care. The former is a broad red flag and the latter is an individual red flag. Keep that in mind, I’ll come back to it.

People don't tend to overly worry about an average job loss over defending someone who is mistreated unless it's the only thing keeping them afloat/they are providing for others. In this scenario, people would go work somewhere else and/or go to someone's defense if they knew they were protected or weren't in harm's way by doing so. 

This makes me think public figure people stay silent or stay in the closet for an unfortunate reason.  A repetitive note: Sometimes people choose to stay in the closet and want… obviously it’s due to heteronormativity so it’s not that they want to want to but in a small way due to the circumstances they may have reasons too. They may not be ready or don’t trust everyone with that information so they only tell certain people which is 100% valid. People have every right to not share with those they don’t want to share with; that can be due to ‘perhaps privacy or perhaps conditioning or shame.’ (I am living proof) Other times people don’t want to but it’s heavily advised onto them. (as a non-public figure ordinary person most queer people can relate including me) E.g., heteronormativity, they want to keep their position as an artist. Regardless whether choosing not to be open or being heavily advised not to: People probably don't talk about it because maybe they don't want to revisit/publicly share yet/ever. Or the management they had was stressful and they don’t want to revisit that publicly. People in general may adjust to it and choose to ignore that just because something is normalized doesn't make it fair or always right. 

I am fully empathetic and understanding to why people choose not to speak out about themselves or for those privacy they are respecting. It’s no ones business except theirs and the people they share it with. Whether it be about gender identity, sexuality, or abuse.

Those who don't have personal reasons not to call attention to these messed up norms are standing idle, and that speaks volumes.

What's also sad is when media and artists stay silent, people like Rebecca Ferguson go under the radar. Even though she's currently speaking out, people haven't given her the coverage that they would give to some rubbish gossip piece on the front of a trashy magazine or some fluff gossip site. If the main media do give attention (and they do sometimes) to these serious issues, it's again, for a moment, and then things are back to business as usual. That's just the media. We still don't see tons of public figures banning together outraged calling for more respect and change. 

That said, I hope Why Don’t We and Rebecca Ferguson, and all others, eventually get the justice needed. Luckily Rebecca recently mentioned she is no longer in that situation and now is just working on proving her case to help others from going through the same. Significantly for younger, plausibly more vulnerable artists just starting their careers. 

An afterthought: Many well-known celebrities didn't speak a word about Britney Spears' situation, if I am not misinformed, until it became headline news everywhere. (Mind everyone, her situation was considered a conspiracy for a long time) Until it became seen as a movement of the moment. That makes me wonder whether it's sometimes performative (plausible) or people are uncomfortable or worse: afraid to speak out until everyone is. 

In conclusion, speculating that one or more people may be lying about management, are choosing to stay in the closet, or are being closeted are not bad/unreasonable standpoints. (If you hadn’t noticed you don’t need to be a larrie to have this point of view seeing as I’m not considered a larrie but I manage to respect larries and antis) Not everyone reading this will agree with me, but that's okay. After all, most people see/think differently in the outside world, so it is what it is.

Follow Rebecca on twitter here. She updates it regularly with information on mistreatment in the music industry.

[365days365movies]

January 17, 2021: Atomic Blonde (Epilogue)

I genuinely really enjoyed this film! And then...about 2 minutes after it ended...I started to think. And I continued to think. I wrote those two posts, and then took a little bit more time to think.

And then...I came to my final realization.

John Wick REALLY screwed this movie. Because the perception of this movie for most, myself included, was that of a new John Wick, with a female protagonist. A lot of people referred to it as “Jane Wick.” But it’s definitely not John Wick. It’s trying to be a spy movie, especially like James Bond films.

But the problem is...it isn’t either. To be a spy movie, it tries a little too hard with a pretty standard plot. And then, it intercuts that with John Wick-caliber fight sequences, detracting from the spy movie aesthetic. And then, because you do have those fight scenes, but still need to fit in the spy stuff, it creates a distinct disparity in tone and pace throughout the movie.

In other words...let’s get to the Recap. I have some more thoughts. And don’t worry! Many of them are positive. Just...not all of them.

Recap

Cast and Acting

Let’s start, of course, with Charlize Theron. Outside of the action sequences, Theron goes well as Broughton, portraying the tough character traits we see in spy characters like her and James Bond. And with the character she’s given, Theron does wonderfully. James McAvoy, on the other hand, seems like he’s having a HELL of a lot of fun with his role. He’s an underrated actor, honestly, and it’s very cool to see him play this sort-of anarchist punk spy. Sofia Boutella also deserves a shout-out for Delphine, playing her character’s naivete well, as well as remaining likeable. Also, Bill Skarsgård deserves a shout-out! I liked Merkel a lot, even despite his shorter screentime. Goodman, Jones, Marsan all do fine in their roles. The USSR characters...eh. They aren’t really given much spotlight...which is weird, given the fact that this is a Cold War drama, but OK. Basically, we’re going with an 9/10. Great; not the best I’ve ever seen all around, but still great!

Plot and Writing

Yeah...here’s the thing. I might like this movie, but the plot’s kind of a massive mess. Writing’s fine, but the plot is both extremely cliche spy movie, while also being extremely muddled in terms of story. Remember what I said up there about this film trying to be both a spy movie and John Wick, and that not working really well? Yeah, basically that. It attempts to balance the two concepts, but also corrupts what makes those concepts work in the first place. The Bourne Identity is arguably a better version of that combination. It’s too bad, because elements of the plot really take away from the rest of the movie. 

And then...there’s the tacked on ending. Because, yeah, the whole American spy thing? Wasn’t in the original graphic novel. What I genuinely think they should’ve done was end it RIGHT at the interview’s terminus. Or, at least, right as she greets Bremovych as Satchel, as is done in the original novel. And, just to be clear, I thought this BEFORE reading the book. That ending feels...pander-y, for lack of a better term. I realize that we always want our protagonists to be heroic, but how great would it have been if Lorraine actually was kind of a villain? I dunno, I think not adding that extra twist at the end makes the movie stronger and more provocative, in a good way. Sorry, Kurt Johnstad, I know you did a good job on a technical standpoint, but...5/10 here.

Directing and Action

David Leitch, Jonathan Sela, and Sam Hargrave, the director, cinematographer, and stunt coordinator/fight choreographer, respectively. Full points for the action sequences, because MAN, those were some good action sequences! Rough and gritty, but extremely well-choreographed and shot at the same time, the action deserves the praise that it’s gotten. How about the cinematography? Stylistic, and very bold colors make this film very memorable. But...they don’t have much clear tie-in to the theming, and I think there’s some missed opportunity there. And the direction overall is great, even if I don’t think it’s perfect. It is Leitch’s first film as solo director, after all. 8/10!

Production and Art Design

Changed the title of this section! Turns out that I’ve been conflating the two concepts, so let’s include them both from now on, shall we? But OK, what did I think of it? Costume design was iconic...in the case for Charlize Theron, at least. James McAvoy a little bit, too, but it’s clear that Cindy Evans focused more upon Charlize than anyone else in the film, really. Which, for a spy, isn’t the best of ideas. Still, that combined with Zsuzsa Kismarty-Lechner’s art direction for the sets and set pieces (almost all of which are splashed with graffiti, in a very 1980′s flair) do bring you back to the time period in which the film is set. This, of course, is also due to the work of David Scheunmann, the production designer who’s actually from Berlin, and whose experiences were vital into making this film look as good as it does. If you’re not sold on the set design, check out the differences, obvious and subtle, between West and East Germany in the film. While some of it is clear, some of it carries some surprisingly subtle messaging (Stalker and Tetris, for example). So, even if Charlize got most of the costume attention, a lot of credit should be given to this movie. 8/10 for this one!

Music and Editing

Maybe the most well-known aspect of this movie, outside of the dramatic lighting, is the ‘80s soundtrack. Some love it, some criticize it quite a bit for overwhelming the film. And honestly...I think they’re both right? Here’s the thing, the music is great, and some of it is used in unexpectedly creative ways that critics didn’t seem to pick up on. Biggest and best example of this is Nena’s 99 Luftballons. That song if you didn’t know, is inspired by the separation between East and West Berlin. It’s literally a song about the cost of political strife, leading to war between countries over something as trivial as a red balloon. And when do they play it during the movie? When Bremovych is waging interrogating young East Berliners celebrating the culture of the west. It’s surprisingly profound! However...using Flock of Seagulls’ I Ran during a chase scene is...less so. That’s one’s a little on the nose, let’s be honest here. And that basically sums up the music for the movie. It’s all good music, but it’s either used well, or it just isn’t. Also, there actually is music composed for this movie, by Tyler Bates, and it is good...but I had to listen to the soundtrack to remember that it was even in the movie. So, yeah, not fantastic.

OK, how about the editing? The flashback sequence intercuts as part of the movie have been criticized by some for interfering with the pace and tone. And...eh. Wasn’t too much of a problem for me, to be honest. And other than that, it didn’t stand out too much to me. I’m finding that editing is the hardest thing to judge in these movies, but who knows? I think this little project might improve my film judgment skills. Also, those long shots? Not true long shots, as they were edited in post. So, good job to Elísabet Ronaldsdóttir! Overall, though, this category’s getting a 7/10 from me.

That’d be a...68% Really?

I’m legitimately surprised, because I do like this movie! Really, I do! But breaking it up piece by piece...it’s only really OK. My personal preference doesn’t necessarily dictate my score, and vice verse. So, I like this movie...even if it’s not as good as it can be. It’s a distinctive and stylish film with great action, and if you wanna see Charlize Theron be cool and kick ass, then WATCH THIS MOVIE! 

And by the way, I didn’t touch too much upon the fact that this is the rare bisexual protagonist, and this is Tumblr, so I know that that’s something you guys know. And honestly...eh. Fact of the matter is that it’s a part of her character, but...we don’t really get to know the real her throughout the entire movie, so...is it? I’m honestly not sure. But, representation is representation, I get it. Also, fun fact, Delphine actually is in the graphic novel, but as a guy. So, interesting change, that!

OK, I think we’re done with the spy movies for a bit, now. Let’s switch subgenres a day. Let’s inject a little more adventure into this month, and let’s trade fists...with swords. It’s swashbuckler time.

January 18, 2021: The Mask of Zorro

[sassyshoulderangel319]

I have some ideas for the Little Mermaid remake (and if I get any of them right I am going to shout “I CALLED IT!” in the theater. Not really but I’ll be thinking it):

Uhm... Samuel L. Jackson as King Triton please?

And Queen Latifah was an inspired cast for Ursula for that ABC version of Little Mermaid and I want her back too. Yes please.

Anyway moving on from casting ‘cuz that’s all I got

Ariel doesn’t even meet Eric before getting legs

Or maybe she does, but, like, she’s only interested in his humaness rather than his attractiveness

Idk i like the idea of Ariel wanting to walk among the humans from more of an anthropologist standpoint lol

Part of Your World isn’t even sung to or about Eric in the original movie, y’all. She just wants to see humanity up close.

Disney’s thrown a little more girl power into their remakes (not always necessarily well but they’re trying ? to address some of the criticisms people endlessly throw) by at least pointing out stronger the female protagonists’ motives. For example Cinderella in the cartoon and remake never went to the ball to have a man save her. She wanted a night off and to go to a party. In the cartoon she didn’t even realize till later the dude she was dancing with was the prince. In the remake she wanted to simply visit a friend. Because the remake did let them establish a bit of an acquaintanceship first which was kinda nice.

So I think for the Little Mermaid remake they should still have Ariel save Eric as an important establishment of his character, but have her be more fascinated than infatuated.

Like, when she gets to land she pokes and prods at his and her legs a lot and discovers that feet can be ticklish and it’s a bonding moment as he laughs but she just... can’t

How this factors into the “you’ve got three days for him to kiss you or you belong to me” thing with Ursula I haven’t quite figured out but I like the idea that their love was a side quest along the way to her getting her dream

She still has the fight with Triton and he busts her grotto but she goes to Ursula more in the state of mind of “he doesn’t understand why I think they’re interesting so I’m going to prove to him they’re not bad” rather than “Dad won’t let me even dream about being with this guy I’m crushing on”

As such, Ursula’s deal is different. More of a “You’ve got three days to find proof humans aren’t barbarians or I’ll take your soul and make you a weed in my garden but I’m still taking your voice so you can’t actually ask anyone anything or interview them like you’re obviously so desperate to” and then when she gets to land Ariel just happens to run into Eric again and be like, “Oh wait hey you! I know you! I dragged your soaked butt out of the storm!” Without actually saying anything of course

And I think maybe on her first day on land, when she’s still getting used to her legs, she’s walking the town of Eric’s kingdom in her hand-me-down sail dress and a little girl runs up to her and gives her a flower or a pretty shell or something. Just because she saw Ariel wandering alone. And maybe the girl’s parents take pity on Ariel, because she can’t speak and looks sad that she can’t thank their daughter, and also because she’s wearing a sail, and let her change into something more suitable

That might be when Eric runs into her and she just lights up and he has no idea why but he humors her because he’s kind and she’s excited

(psst: the shell/flower comes back around at the end of the movie as Ariel’s proof that humans aren’t bad because there’s a flashback somewhere in Triton’s side scenes that show Ariel giving him something similar when she was a wee child and when he understands, he realizes she’s right)

Bring back the thing that was cut from the movie but left in the Broadway musical about Ursula being Triton’s sister and therefore Ariel’s aunt please and thank you. Maybe she’s adopted though IDK. I like it because it brings a little more of a personal grudge between Ursula and Triton rather than just a power-hungry sea witch. The cartoon mentions she lived in the palace but never says in what capacity. In the Broadway musical I really liked that she was his sister

Also don’t write any new songs for the movie, just use the Broadway ones. They’re great. I’ve been wondering why they’re making new songs when the Broadway ones are already there since the Beauty and the Beast remake (though I ain’t complaining about Evermore, I loved Home and If I Can’t Love Her). I loved Speechless in Aladdin but if Beyonce had sung Shadowland from the Broadway Lion King instead of Spirit, I would have actually given that bland excuse of a remake a single kudo. Anyway that’s not the point here. Moving on.

A lot people in the world are professional mermaids/men/folk. Use them as background mers. They’re better at it than rando extras. Also they come equipped with their own tails. Many different options, in some people’s cases

Please use silicone tails for the main merfolk and even convincing fabric tails for background merfolk. Please. CGI is fine but audiences are sophisticated enough to tell when it’s CGI. Particularly when it’s bad (looking at you mermaid tails from Once Upon a Time) because it breaks the immersion of the movie. And silicone specifically will have scale definition and will look much more realistic and fanciful than the mermaids in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (love the movie and the mermaids in it but the tails and their designs could have looked better. Those ultra long caudal fins/flukes probably wouldn’t do as much for proper underwater propulsion as shorter, broader fins would)

kinda all i got for now... if i think of anything else i’ll add it in

[oneweekoneband]

a hugely inexpert, absolutely correct examination of The Planets and their role in taylor swift turning out to be such a freak

Astrology is real. Astrology is made-up nonsense. Made-up nonsense is real. One person’s chosen organizing principle for living is no more or less stupid than anyone elses. All of this is true or maybe it isn’t. Don’t roll your eyes too hard, but Joan Didion wasn’t lying—we do tell ourselves stories in order to live. It’s about all we do. I don’t understand the stars and planets because I don’t believe it’s my business what happens up there, plus I’m a little dumb, but I, like any blubbering narcissist, enjoy being told something about myself, and what is a horoscope but an opaque little love note designed to be interpreted by the reader in whatever way suits them best. There are astrologers who write beautiful, empathetic horoscopes that are a balm whether you believe them or not, and in this way astrology has a cultural value which makes any dubious scientific purity irrelevant. I don’t understand the stars and planets, but I have friends that do, and I like hearing whatever they sort out. Certainly, I’m not immune to believing in spurious little rituals; I was raised Catholic. Thinking that your star sign is responsible for certain aspects of your personality is no more impractical than keeping a Saint Christopher medal in your car to protect you from danger while traveling. These days I do both. Astrology is possibly real or possibly is not and maybe it matters what “real” means or else it might not, yeah, but the philosophical questions recede in the face of one fact upon which we can all agree: Taylor Swift has a profoundly upsetting birth chart.

Right off the bat, just from an aesthetic standpoint, this image (above) is not inviting. I don’t like to see it. When I wrote about Taylor Swift on this site in 2013 I didn’t know my moon or rising signs. This knowledge was not yet mandatory for trying to date girls and/or understanding jokes online. I was, at that time, far from even the semi-astrologically-literate state I am in now, yet even then if you’d have shown me this image, I know I’d shudder. It doesn’t take a scholar of any kind to see this and feel a chill down your spine, the itch of cold, spectral fingers closing around your wrist. Look at it again. The painful bisection by those angry blue lines. If you found this painted on a cave wall you’d turn and run back towards the fresh air of the opening, blinking back tears, certain some undead beast was following in your wake. This is a birth chart that says I am capable of writing songs like “All Too Well” but sometimes what I like better is to name a cat after the worst David Fincher movie and do a anti-homophobia music video that actually is so bad it felt somehow like it itself was homophobia. This is a birth chart that says I am going to release my new album, Red (2012), with a promo wherein Papa John’s will bring you a copy of it along with your pizza. This is a birth chart that says yeah, I used to do a fake twang as a teenager, and then I dropped the fake twang, but I can bring it back with no notice sometimes so all the girls (mentally ill adult women who have a Pavlovian response to anything that kinda sounds like “Hey Stephen”) go wild.

Taylor Swift is a Sagittarius. That’s the one with the arrow. It’s one of the good signs, theoretically, because it’s one that I have a lot of in my own chart, and because it’s in November and December, which are months where you can wear all your coats. Some other Sagittarians include Brad Pitt, Britney Spears, Janelle Monae, 8th US President Martin Van Buren, Jane Fonda, my friend C., who, in fact, happens to share all three major placements, sun, moon, and rising, with Ms. Swift, but I still don’t think she’s murdered anyone, and, of course, Jake “Twin fire signs / Four Blue Eyes” Gyllenhaal. So we have basically a lot of hot people and one guy who died of asthma, but who did manage to get the highest ranking job in the country first, though the country was a lot smaller then, and didn’t even have McDonalds yet to serve to teams that win college football tournaments. All in all, seems okay. Her moon is in Cancer. I think this connotes something about the watery depths of her emotional self, and it’s the only astrological placement which gets a shout out in the Joni Mitchell song “Little Green”. Her rising sign is Scorpio which is, like... Well, Scorpio to me is Halloween and Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl. Medically speaking, I think that influence is how the stylings for the reputation era turned out so very Hot Topic. My moon is in Scorpio so this is a self-own as much as anything else.

Now look at this. What does it mean? Impossible to say, but that will not stop me from concluding that whatever it does mean is definitely bad. It will not stop me from extrapolating that probably a “multiple planet opposition” is the kind of thing that makes a person go to Stonewall during Pride for a surprise appearance but perform “Shake It Off” instead of any of the actual really good and sexy songs. But then, I bet it probably also factored into her developing into the kind of creative mind who would write something as weird and funny and vital as “And I’ve been meaning to tell you / I think your house is haunted / your dad is always mad and that must be why,” so possibly bad is good and good is bad and the various astrological signs just signify the different ways we relate to death. I don’t know. I’m scared.

In the documentary Folkore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions, released on Disney+ last month to accompany the record, because this daughter of three generations of bank presidents is nothing if not a money-maker, Taylor wears a terrifying outfit that I started to like rather than recoil from by about halfway through, and while wearing it espouses a belief that we are all monsters, which I happen to figure is correct. In Madame Clairevoyant’s Guide to the Stars, essential book on astrology and, importantly, the vagaries of the human heart, the incomparable Claire Comstock-Gay writes, “For Sagittarius, the desire is shifting and undefined. This is a drive, above all else, to see, to learn, to experience, to continually seek knowledge. It’s a drive to live a life that never asks or requires that you cede your freedom and never requires you to stop searching.” Certainly, this is the kind of internal compass which would lead to making the unusual, dramatic, and frankly very cool decision to entirely re-record your first six albums when ownership of the original masters has fallen into the hands of a little creep named “””Scooter””” who refuses to relinquish this morally, if not actually legally, false claim. For years I have speculated that actual murder of a human would not be outside of Taylor Swift’s capabilities. This is a statement made with neither praise or criticism attached. It’s a clinical observation from a sterling mind. What I feel with equal conviction, but admit more grudgingly, is that, if it happened, she’d have a perfectly logical reason. (Note: Taylor, if you’re reading this, I am not the type who’d rat anyway. It’s fine. Please don’t sue me.) I’m positive the astrological facts support my findings on this, and if I’m wrong, fortunately I will never find out. Anyway, the next full moon is in 22 days. I always want to look at it and then I forget. There’s a lot going on in space, and while I do feel that any cosmic forces which would put me and Taylor Swift on Earth at the same time are sort of inherently malevolent, I guess it’s been pretty fun, too.

[randomvarious]

Moby - “Bodyrock” Crossing All Over! Volume 10 1999 Big Beat

You all know who Moby is. He’s one of the most successful, talented, and eclectic electronic music producers of his generation. He’s the American who made big beat and sample-laden dance tracks achieve popularity in the US at the turn of the century. He’s an electronic music chameleon; he’s techno, he’s downtempo, he’s big beat, he’s ambient, and he’s even punk and alternative rock. He’s had a long, storied career, with plenty of hits and questionable decisions that have resulted in some really high highs and equally really low lows. 

By the time Moby released his fifth album, Play, which ended up becoming considered by many critics to be one of the greatest albums ever recorded in the history of music, he thought it was his final album. Just four years prior, he had released the critically acclaimed Everything Is Wrong, which Spin named its album of the year. He ended up selling a respectable 250,000 copies of the record worldwide, but for the amount of praise it received, and for being on a major label (Elektra), it was a mediocre showing. From jump, that appeared to be Moby’s curse, as it was for most electronic talents: good music, but bad sales; a niche market conquered, but little else beyond that.

Whatever likability Moby had accrued since the UK success of his 1991 techno track, “Go,” which sampled music from Twin Peaks, nearly disintegrated into thin air with the release of his fourth album, 1996′s Animal Rights, which saw him ditching dance music for a blend of alternative rock, hardcore punk, and ambient music. Fans and critics both hated this turn and washed their hands of him almost entirely. It appeared that everyone was just about done with Moby, and that Moby was just about done with himself. Animal Rights turned out to be an album that brought him within an inch of career suicide.

But by 1999, he had decided to go back to dance and electronic music and the result was Play. However, no one seemed to want to give Play any play at all. Moby shopped it to a number of big record labels, but at that point he was regarded as a has-been; a guy who’d run out of good fortune because of his uncompromising strong will and his insufferable need to be an artist. But Richard Branson’s V2 label, which was only three years old at the time, decided to take a chance on it.

From a quote in Rolling Stone:

First show that I did on the tour for Play was in the basement of the Virgin Megastore in Union Square. Literally playing music while people were waiting in line buying CDs. Maybe forty people came.

Most of the critics adored Play and saw it as a work of contemporary creative genius; a real mover-of-the-sticks kind of album. No one, at least no American, had ever made an album quite like it before. It was uptempo, it was downtempo, it had blues samples, it had breakbeats, it was more than danceable, and it was also quite emotional and vulnerable. It was an amalgamation of a lot of different things, and it was a beautiful representative mess of the post-modern, recently-formed digital age, which, at the time, appeared to be bringing the world closer together than it had ever been before, at least from a cultural standpoint. It was music that had a little something for just about everyone. But that was what initially appeared to have ben its fatal flaw, too. See, Play didn’t fit into any pre-defined, carefully crafted, easily marketable categories; It wasn’t rock, it wasn’t pop, it wasn’t hip hop, and it wasn’t R&B. So radio and MTV passed on every song. The album certainly had no home in America, and it didn’t sell all that well in the UK either. 

So Moby decided to sell the album out, literally. He licensed every single song off of Play for commercials, TV, movies, and video games, which were all industries that were more receptive to the varied sounds of the album. People would be exposed to Play through other indirect and less conventional means. And with every track licensed and songs appearing in nearly every medium that had audio, except for radio and MTV, Play, almost a year after its release, started to finally gain some commercial traction.

Here’s an illuminating Moby quote from that same Rolling Stone article:

Almost a year after it came out in 2000 I was opening up for Bush on an MTV Campus Invasion Tour. It was degrading for the most part. Their audience had less than no interest in me. February in 2000, I was in Minnesota, I was depressed and my manager called me to tell me that Play was number one in the UK, and had beat out Santana's Supernatural. I was like, :But the record came out 10 months ago.” That's when I knew, all of a sudden, that things were different. Then it was number one in France, in Australia, in Germany—it just kept piling on. [...] The week Play was released, it sold, worldwide around 6,000 copies. Eleven months after Play was released, it was selling 150,000 copies a week. I was on tour constantly, drunk pretty much the entire time and it was just a blur. And then all of a sudden movie stars started coming to my concerts and I started getting invited to fancy parties and suddenly the journalists who wouldn't return my publicist's calls were talking about doing cover stories. It was a really odd phenomenon.

Play only peaked at #38 on the Billboard 200, but it sold two million copies in the States alone. It was on charts across the world for several fucking years. And it finally brought dance music to the American mainstream.

There were two songs that almost didn’t make it onto Play though: “Porcelain,” which Moby hated, and “Bodyrock,” which Moby’s two managers hated. His managers complained that “Bodyrock” was a total ripoff of Fatboy Slim, which...fair..., and that it was tacky. But Moby wanted to keep it on there. He had sampled a classic hip hop song by Spoonie Gee and the Treacherous Three for it called “Love Rap,” which held sentimental value for him, and is the only vocal sample on the song (”Non-stop y’all, to the beat y’all, the body rock y’all...”). 

At the top of this post, I called Moby an electronic music chameleon, and “Bodyrock” is the song that saw him almost seamlessly morphing into a god of the big beat sound, somehow briefly placing himself among the ranks of The Prodigy, The Chemical Brothers, and of course, the aforementioned Fatboy Slim. And he managed to do it with just one fucking song. For “Bodyrock,” Moby basically took all the things that got those three big beat acts constantly lumped into the same category, as well as all the things that made them stand apart from each other, and then he mortared-and-pestled it all to death, reducing it all into a fine powder that he could re-arrange and re-apply into his own stunning creation.

“Bodyrock” is a song that’s layered wonderfully and fuses sounds from many different instruments and genres to make something that’s intense as hell, especially for a mainstream audience, but still highly enjoyable. It’s a perfect fusion of rock, hip hop, and dance music, all packaged together into one, solidly cranking song. 

Moby starts with the drum-and-vocal sample from Spoonie Gee and The Treacherous Three and then adds two layers of guitars, one with an acidified, throttling, crunchy funkiness, a la Fatboy Slim, that’s inspired by Gang of Four’s 1981 track, “What We All Want,” and one with a thin and whining kind of wah that’s also a bit funky, and which later on becomes an integral part of the chorus. Then Moby infuses the track with some hardness, with heavy drums and bass, as well as hand-claps. Rapper Nikki D, who released an album on Def Jam in 1991, then proceeds to appear out of nowhere for the chorus, pretty clearly trying to sound like MC Lyte’s nearly-forgotten 1996 jam, “Cold Rock a Party”. And along with Ms. D comes the most important piece of the recipe, the bow and ribbon that ties the whole song together, the streaming and high-pitched cinematic strings, which replace the Gang of Four-styled guitar, and are underlaid with a rumbling, motoring, thick bassline that also plays along to the string melody itself. 

Two unique and brief pieces then come later on, one that sounds like a combination of clean and dirty aquatics, with a brief, pleasant keyboard melody that sounds submerged in water, but still near the surface, and a swampy and swishy, mud-in-your-galoshes type of rhythm beneath it. Then, before the song’s final push, the other brief piece appears, which sounds like those frequencies you might hear from a hearing test machine, laced with Nikki D’s vocals, the drum break from Spoonie Gee and The Treacherous Three, and some bounding bass.

To close out the masterpiece, Moby lets the chorus ride, and then adds the “Love Rap” vocal back in. You’d think playing two vocals concurrently would clash and make the song unlistenable at that point, but somehow, they don’t. They happen to work really well, and when played together along with everything else, they yield the most intense and enjoyable part of the song.  

Play ended up having a total of twelve music videos and a quarter of them were for “Bodyrock”. The first two have a similar theme of British guys, all of whom except for one are white, dancing terribly, but also passionately:

The second one features a car explosion at the end!:

And the third one, which has a Run-D.M.C. cameo (!), shows Moby donning special sunglasses that allow him to see talented dancers everywhere:

Even almost a year after Play was released, it appeared that it was going to be Moby’s swan song and the death of his career. But the decision to license changed all of that, and if ever there was some kind of universal music award for “comeback artist of the year,” Moby would have absolutely won that thing. But in the immortal words of LL Cool J, “don’t call it a comeback,” because while the original best hope for Play was to return to the similar sales and critical appeal of Everything Is Wrong, it managed to far exceed that wishful and shortsighted forecast. Moby was comeback artist of the year and damn near MVP also. It was a wild, totally unexpected, and fantastic turn of events for his career and wellbeing. He almost stopped making music, but now he can’t stop making music. He released an album just this year.

I wholeheartedly agree with the critics who list Play as one of the greatest albums ever made. Not only is it fucking tremendous on its own, but It marked a much-needed turning point for Moby’s career, which undoubtedly kept him going, and still keeps him going today. And one of the many amazing songs on that album that makes Play what it is, is that consummate, brief bit of big beat greatness, that banger of a cut that almost didn’t make it onto the album, the one and only “Bodyrock”; a song that still manages to bop as hard as it did when it originally came out 20-plus years ago.

[radioromantic-moved]

i lied i’ve got thoughts again. these are always long but this one’s Long long since i infodumped for a couple of paragraphs in the middle because i deal with emotions through lengthy rants.

-LOVED fern creature. easily one of my favorite parts of the ep. i especially love that we launched into that right off the bat with no preamble.

-hartro’s good with disguises huh? good with costumes? good with...acting?

-s3 ending leaked. the main cast forms their own traveling theater production. i am speaking that into reality the way i did with enola’s return and hartro’s redemption. merediths if you can give me one thing let it be this

-i badly want to make a joke about helen’s “it’s very tasteful. there’s ferns.”

-me when someone asks me if stellar firma season 3 is any good. is that anything

-something something trexel spiral avatar something something they like ferns

-HARTRO’S RED LINE CONSPIRACY BOARD...you iconic little fucking gayperson i adore you. mwah. 

-okay i am thinking so much about trexel’s protagonist complex both on a meta level and a canon level. i mean on the canon level it’s just kinda sad the way most trexel stuff is. feels very emblematic of how he genuinely really needs people to pay attention to him whether it’s good or bad and it’s just now sinking in that part of that might be because of the parental neglect shit shit shit

-but on a meta level it’s even better. i was actually thinking about this in regards to tma the other day when i was reading the summary of it on the rq website. and so as not to spoil anything it obv just talks about jon trying to get the archives in order and having paranormal experiences, which is so much funnier in context when you know that. from the standpoint we’re at now it feels like that was an entirely different show. which is where we’re going with sf too i think, but the craziest part of that is that going in most people (me included) didn’t even expect david to be the main character. in the summary you’ve got “trexel geistman and his assistant.” if you count the teaser as canon content, he’s technically the first character we hear speak. not even touching on the aerith and bob situation (sidenote he’s definitely trans because only trexel would name himself trexel). then there’s the plot itself, which david and hartro lampshade point blank, and even call it “the plot.” this started as goofy planet-designing adventures and now it’s a socialist clone uprising, with briefs and submissions as the comic relief. and trexel’s not good at consultancy, and i’m pretty sure he knows that at some level, but he knows where he stands with it, and as long as he keeps doing what he’s doing at least he’s not gonna be the one getting hurt. but he’s terrible with change, and would rather stick where he is even if it’s worse for him (david’s place...f). he doesn’t have ideas for this, people keep leaving him out, and he’s becoming -gasp- a deuteragonist. maybe it’s giving him too much credit to say he knows that something big’s going on and he’s not at the center of it, but i just know that learning to be sidelined (or even, wonder of wonders, finding a way to Help?) could be good for him if he wasn’t such a FUCKING ASSHOLE.

-honestly though i really love the trope of “person who’s tried their entire life to be special is wholly unremarkable” paired with “chosen one who would do anything to not be the chosen one.” wait a second that’s oren and dario in scream all night huh.

-TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE.

-they/he david rights!!! but also :( because david is having to put himself down again. fuck you trexel!! be nicer to your only friend!!

-imogen snark is music to my ears. i love her i love her i love her

-wait we get a SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION for SWOLE CLONES??? THAT’S what we’re choosing to delve into? this sounds like i’m criticizing it which i’m not, i actually think that’s hilarious and i LOVE ridiculous scientific explanations of things so actually this might be my favorite part of the episode.

-no this episode’s genuinely given me a lot to think about but i think i’m gonna relisten to it in a little while when my emotions aren’t all fucked up. everyone is such DORKS and i love them (i love david and hartro and imogen. trexel’s on thin ice. i still haven’t forgiven him for threatening to leak everyone’s secrets because of his existential crisis.)