#so many writers know exactly what they created and I think we should appreciate it even if they weren’t allowed to write it more obviously

[sickseraph]

No because why am I scared of being made fun of for loving these men when Destiel is probably the most beautiful thing ever created.

An angel pulls a righteous man from hell and heals his wounds and is so overcome with this triumph that he screams DEAN WINCHESTER HAS BEEN SAVED so loud that he awakens fallen angels. He rebuilds this man from dust. The man is scared of Castiel, they don’t trust each other, but they need each other—the man begs the angel to see why Heaven, why God’s plan is corrupt and the angel should trust him. Against nature, breaking from the script, against God, his Father—the angel rebels. The angel rips out the part of him that serves Heaven all for this man and only because he asks. Only because now he’s starting to feel, and angels don’t feel.

What’s coming isn’t an easy task—the man considers giving himself up but the angel won’t let him, beating him unconscious while yelling I rebelled for this? And still, when the day comes, the angel dies for him. The angel attacks his own brothers for this man, is incinerated instantly, and never gave it a second thought.

After the angel is resurrected, they spend years trying to fix everything for each other and almost always do it wrong. They are eventually sent to purgatory together, and the man spends every waking moment praying to his angel. He could’ve escaped, he could’ve been angry at the angel for his misdoings, but he stayed, ripping flesh and killing anything in his way to get to the angel. But he doesn’t understand—the angel, upset, says they’re after me, Dean. I avoid you to protect you. The man won’t listen. He can’t. He pulls the angel to the exit but their hands slip right there, on the precipice. And the man is so distraught that he tells himself he’d let go by accident, but we know this isn’t true. The angel wanted to stay, wanted to feel punishment. The angel saved the righteous man and stayed behind.

But they can’t be kept apart can they?

The angel finds his way back, like always, and Dean is seeing his face everywhere. Dean blames himself. It’s easier than thinking his angel wanted to stay. It’s easier than being abandoned.

Heaven isn’t happy with this angel—this silly thing that gave up its innate purpose and programming all for a human—so they attempt to rewire him, resorting to lobotomy as a way to force him into conforming. They create infinite copies of his human and force him to kill each one, testing his loyalties. And after all this, after being turned into a mindless soldier through torture, it only takes one thing to break the connection. Dean, on his knees, saying I need you.

And this does not fix everything. Now the angel is desperate to undo his wrongs, searching for ways to repay him; so desperate that he misplaces his trust and is irreparably damaged, intimately violated by God’s Scribe. His grace, every part of his angelic traits, is stolen from him, literally ripped from his throat before the Scribe sends all angels plummeting to the Earth. And now the angel is an entirely new species—a human, soft and vulnerable, with nothing to his name—a prime target of angry, wingless angels.

There is only one thing he can do. He can call his human, beg for help, but it’s not going to come quickly. He has to decide between eating and warding himself from his murderous siblings. He virtuously refuses to steal or hurt anyone. He just wants to be safe. He trusts the wrong person and, seconds away from being saved by his human, is stabbed through the heart. Although his brother is injured, Dean caresses his angel’s face and sobs, insisting that the entity inside his brother’s body fix Cas despite how it will hurt the entity and likely put Dean’s brother at risk. It doesn’t matter. Then they go home, and the angel feels safe for the first time as a human.

But nothing lasts forever. The entity inside Sam is anxious, insecure around Cas, and so Dean asks the angel to leave. For probably the first time, Castiel feels intense sadness. Betrayal. Grief. Stress. And it’s because of his human, the one human he was attempting to make everything up to before. Well, apparently he hadn’t done well enough. The angel leaves, still desperate for cash and food, resorting to sleeping in the storeroom of a gas station to stay warm.

The angel has to protect himself from enemies, stealing angelic grace just to keep going. At the same time, Dean takes on the mark of Cain and slowly loses sanity. The angel earns a league of likeminded angels that believe in him, and it finally looks like maybe he can do things on his own again. Naturally, this can’t last for long��his allegiance to this dangerous, marked human is too risky for any angels to trust him.

And his allegiance is tested, but holds strong. Dean can tear the angel to pieces and he’ll still lay there on the floor, unwilling to harm him, and Dean will walk away knowing he could’ve killed Cas but didn’t. Couldn’t.

Over and over, they fight together or they fight each other and it never ends any different. They stick together. They get angry about how the other is acting. And they stay, because leaving just isn’t an option.

The next time the angel dies, the righteous man isn’t the same. He can’t accept it now, now that it seems real and now that the angel was so solidly good, so individualistic and pure. He burns his body and watches, red-eyed. This time it’s real. This time God isn’t on their side to bring him back. So he does what he knows—he drinks, he hides in comfort, he puts himself at risk. He starts thinking that maybe the solution to their problems is for him to die—really, hadn’t they destroyed the natural order enough?

And then the angel calls him from a payphone and all thoughts of ending his life are wiped from his mind. Dean didn’t care how he’d returned, just brought him home and indulged in a way they never did—they took a fun case, they dressed up like cowboys and caught a bad guy.

They’re not allowed fun, though. They’re doomed by the narrative—the God that is insistent upon failure. Over and over they’re tested, and no matter whose mother is killed and whose psyche is broken by being blamed for it, they stay together. Because you can hate and love at the same time. Because you don’t really hate them.

And at the end of it all, they’re still together. In the angel’s last moments, it’s still only about his human. What’s important is getting Dean safe, is coming up with a plan that saves Dean. Because even though Castiel had all his grace, Dean was the powerful one. Dean was the one who needed to kill God, who needed to stay alive, and who deserved a life.

And the angel did the only thing he knew how to do, the only thing that always worked—he sacrificed himself for his human. He told his human that he was in love with him, and told him the things he needed to hear, and let himself be swallowed up by eternity. All for Dean. For Dean, who was still beautiful.

And this did save the world, but Dean wasn’t the same, really. He vowed to give himself a good life, try to move forward, but it really wasn’t going to happen was it? It was always going to end in his brother’s arms after a hunt. And he was okay with it. And when he got to Heaven, sitting beside his true father with a beer in hand, he heard Cas’s name and smiled. It had been ages since he smiled.

[marvelouslizzie]

unconventional methods - chapter 1

Summary: Bucky Barnes has a big problem: he is too anxious to date and too old school to enjoy porn. But he needs some kind of relief, and he needs it right now.

After getting an accidental boner during a mission, Natasha suggests him an application that seems to be exactly what he needs.

Will your content solve the problem for him? Or will it create new problems?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader (SHIELD Agent Bucky Barnes x Adult Content Creator Reader)

Word Count: 5.7K

Warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, sex deprivation, adult content creation, sexy lingerie, sexy photos and videos, male masturbation, self-doubt, overthinking, flirting, sexting, sending explicit content to each other, pet names, mutual masturbation, jealousy, feeling possessive (nothing toxic), hiding the real identity, no mention of y/n.

A/N: This was such a random idea but as I started to think about it, more details came to me. After a point, it became impossible not to write.

In this story, Bunny is the reader but we view most of the story from Bucky’s side so there’s no use of you during the story. We don’t know what the reader is up to, how she feels about stuff. Only as much as Bucky knows or sees. That’s why the reader is mentioned as she mostly.

>> indicates incoming messages and << indicates outgoing messages in this story.

This story is not exactly how it seems but I don’t want to spoil it by revealing things too soon. Just stick around, if you wanna know how things will turn out to be.

Again, a big thank you to @notafunkiller for helping me every step of the way. She helped me the moment I felt stuck or something felt off, beta read the whole story and turned this into a readable piece. Thanking her won’t be enough. I would literally add her as a co-writer if that was possible on Tumblr.

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.

Every like, comment and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message me or send me a question regarding the stories I write. I would love to talk about it and no, it would never bother me as long as it’s not a hate comment. They are never welcome.

Read more tag starts after the first paragraph of the story.

Bucky wasn’t sure if he should do this. He looked at the paper Natasha handed him and then back at the screen again. The internet browser was open for a while, but he couldn’t decide what to do. It felt weird to be in this position. It didn’t feel right… but why was it wrong again? She was sharing her own content: whatever she was comfortable with. They were all there for people to see if they wanted to, right? He took a deep breath, started to type the link Natasha wrote down for him, and pushed enter quickly before he changed his mind.

The page loaded quickly, but all he could see was her profile picture and the header. There was a huge subscribe button and under it, he could see how many posts she had, different subscription options, etc. He scrolled back up to look at her photos. They were not clickable, but her profile picture was her in blue lingerie and cute bunny ears, which made him smile for a second. Then he looked at the header. She was on all fours, staring directly into the camera. It was a different look. Not that “I’m trying to look sexy” look that usually turned him off when it came to porn. It felt genuine somehow. How genuine it could be under these circumstances…

He looked at her profile picture for a while, thinking what could go wrong? A lot of people were doing this, weren't they? Some people were making money, some were paying for it. It wasn't that different from buying a dirty magazine. No, actually this was better because she had all the creative control over her own content. She was the one putting it out there. If that was not consent, then what was? He quickly created an account for himself, using a new email account like Natasha suggested. He didn’t need anyone to find out about this.

The next part felt like falling into a rabbit hole because dear god… She looked gorgeous! She had some free content that didn’t show much. Different poses in different lingerie. The photos were serving their purpose, making you want to subscribe and see more… of her. So he kept looking for a while.

There was something about her that made her so much more attractive, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He clicked next, looking at her pic in front of the mirror, with her legs wide open, but not actually showing anything. The slight smile on her face was warm and inviting. He knew he had no other option than to subscribe and see all of her content. He needed to see more.

The process didn't take long. After unlocking the special content, he just stared at the screen. How can she be real? He palmed his face, feeling nervous like he was on a first date with this attractive woman. He knew he wasn't. She was way out of his league, but he still felt nervous and intrigued while checking out all the content. There were so many different options and he didn’t know where to start.

At first, he decided to go slow and just check a couple of nude photos. The pics were in order, showing her getting rid of one piece of clothing with each new shot. It started with her fully dressed, looking super sexy: short skirt, modest cleavage, looking all cute. First, the skirt was gone, then her top, and she was left standing in her pastel pink lingerie that covered her chest completely, but it was lacy and see-through. It was fitting her like it was custom-made. He couldn’t stop himself and kept swiping, finding different concepts. His cock was pressed against his pants, aching for attention as he was unable to look away.

After spending god knows how long on her profile, Bucky finally couldn’t take it anymore. This was the point of all this, wasn’t it? Creating the need at the right time to please himself, so he wouldn’t get random erections during the missions… He unzipped himself and finally freed his cock. Still, his hands didn’t go there directly. He kept looking at her profile, discovering other features: like videos she uploaded while getting off!

“Dear god…” He gulped after seeing the thumbnail. She had a dildo in her hand. There was no way he was not going to click on this. No way!

He watched her taking her sweet time, teasing herself and, of course, the viewers, then getting really wet and adding lube on top of it before she pushed the dildo inside. The moan she let out sent a powerful jolt through his whole body. It was so beautiful and felt so fucking authentic, nothing like those fake, unrealistic porn moans. They were always a huge turn-off. This, on the other hand, was too much to handle. His cock was dripping so much precum, begging him for some attention. He couldn’t remember the last time he was this turned on. Either it never happened or it was so long ago, it doesn’t matter anymore.

He finally reached for the lube, poured a generous amount into his flesh hand, and quickly grabbed his cock. 

“Fuck.” It felt so sensitive. Like he had been edged for the last hour. Maybe he had been… after all the content he went through.

His fingers were loose, moving up and down slowly while the most beautiful girl he ever laid eyes on was pleasing herself on the screen. He didn’t want this to end too soon. He wanted to take his sweet time and maybe imagine she was the one doing this to him. That was a nice image: her between his legs, looking up at him with those big eyes while she moved her hand up and down slowly, torturing him, not letting him come until she said so.

His breath shuttered at the thought, his fingers moving faster than before, like they have their own mind. His cock was grateful, but no, he didn’t want to come before the video was done. Somehow it felt like disappointing your date during your first sex.

Luckily, she started to shatter, moaning as she came on the dildo she was riding. And the noises she made immediately sent him over the edge. 

“F-f-fuck,” he slurred as he started to come. It felt good, really good. He lost himself in pleasure and kept stroking until he emptied himself. Until he felt that overstimulation creeping in. That was when he noticed he closed his eyes. When he opened them back up, the video was done and the black screen with a play again button welcomed him. 

Disappointment washed over him. She wasn't there with him. Even if he came before the video was done, she wouldn’t know. There was no one to disappoint. He was alone in his bedroom, jerking off to a computer screen, but in his defense, the girl was hot. Really hot.

He took a deep breath, letting himself enjoy the afterglow. That was the point of all this: enjoying small stuff like satisfaction without going through the tedious process of meeting new people. He reached for the wet wipes and cleaned himself quickly. As he clicked the exit button on the video, he saw another one. It must be old because she looked a bit younger, and her hair was a little lighter. Also, it looked like a short one so he clicked on it.

“Hey. Thank you so much for subscribing.” This was the first time he heard her voice. It was soft and calm. “I know this isn’t conventional, but I enjoy sharing content like this. Don’t judge me if you don’t wanna be judged, okay?” She winked and god, it was adorable. “I'll try to share new content every Wednesday. I hope to see you here. Feel free to message me if you like. Take care.”

If he hadn’t come thirty seconds ago, he would have gotten hard again after hearing her voice. He was glad even the super soldier serum had some limits. Before his body could recover from his intense orgasm, he closed the window and decided to go take a shower.

-------

The next week passed in a blur. There were missions, briefings, and someone’s birthday… He didn’t care whose. It was not someone from the main team, that was all he knew. He was eating his cake in the corner, minding his own business when Natasha sat next to him.

“Hey.” She tried to sound as casual as possible.

“Hey.”

“You look better.”

Bucky looked at her confused.

“Does that supposed to be a compliment, Romanoff?”

“It’s a simple statement, Barnes. It looks like you took my advice and gave yourself a break.” Bucky averted his gaze from her. “No accidental erections during missions, congrats.”

“It was one time, Natasha. One time. When will you let it go?”

“Whenever you tell me about your… experience.”

“My experience?” He looked back at her, with the same confused expression all over again.

“I wanna know if you liked her or not. I don’t need details.”

“Why do you care so much about it? She’s just a random girl.” He lied to her. She wasn’t. At least not to him. He had been checking her account anytime he got a chance. This whole week, he had been masturbating more than he ever did before. Sometimes even the thought of her was turning him on so randomly, he was starting to get worried, but at the same time, he couldn’t stop himself from checking for updates.

She was sharing content very regularly. Sometimes they were new photoshoots, and sometimes just random cute photos in pajamas. He didn’t know which content he was looking forward to the most. All he knew was he loved how genuine it felt she was.

“I’m just noisy. So tell me…”

“Yes, Natasha, I like her. She’s cute and hot, exactly what I was looking for. What do you want, a thank you?”

Bucky really had no idea how Natasha managed to hit the bull's eye when she suggested this girl to him. She was absolutely his type, so he could say thank you for this, but nothing more.

“I wouldn’t mind.”

“Thank you.” It was Natasha’s turn to feel confused because in all the time they spent together with Barnes, he never once thanked her. This was a first.

“Wow. You really like her.” She sounded proud of herself.

“Hey, Buck!” The moment Bucky heard Sam’s voice, he jumped off the couch. He didn’t want to spend another minute talking about his irrational crush with Natasha. It was pointless.

-------

As the time passed, Bucky felt like he was addicted to her content. He was checking his phone much more often than before, just to see if she shared something. He didn’t notice it until Sam pointed it out and asked if he got a girlfriend or something. He quickly denied that possibility, finding a lame excuse. He wasn’t sure if Sam bought it or not, but he definitely needed to check his phone less often. 

When he came back home, he felt so tired. The whole day was full of meetings and he let himself be consumed by the details just not to think about her. It was Wednesday, which meant new content,  yet he still tried to stay away from his phone. 

He literally consumed every content she ever shared. There was no photo or video on her profile he didn't see. There were some he masturbated to more than once. He just wanted to take a step back and if he could manage this, he would feel less of a creep. The problem was he was home and he had nothing to do.

He tried to distract himself with food at first, and it only worked for 15 minutes. Then he took a shower, which took even less. Watching television didn’t even last more than 5 minutes, so he decided to go to sleep, but his mind kept wandering to her. He wanted to know what she shared and how she looked. Finally, he gave in and opened her profile… to see nothing. Since yesterday she shared literally nothing. That was so unlike her. She shared something every day and she never missed Wednesdays. He didn’t care about the lack of new content. It worried him that he doesn’t know if she was alright. Why wouldn’t she be? Maybe she was busy. He tried to calm himself down but falling asleep was impossible.

Then he made a promise to himself: if she won't share anything by noon the next day, he would message her. That thought calmed him down a little.

-------

The next day, Bucky forgot that he was trying to avoid checking his phone in public. His body was at work, but his mind was stuck on… her. He kept looking at her profile to see something, anything to assure himself you’re alright, but there was literally nothing. Complete silence. When it was finally noon, he had no patience left. Normally, he wouldn’t even consider sending a message, but he was just worried. And it didn’t occur to him that it was not his place to be concerned about this woman. 

He opened her profile and clicked on the direct messages feature. His mind was completely blank. He had no idea what to say, looking at the screen for a couple of seconds as he trying to collect his thoughts.

“Hey.” That’s all he could come up with. How to say you are worried about someone who has no idea you even exist? It was ridiculous, but there was no way he could just wait and do nothing. “I’m sorry for bothering you. I hope you are alright. You have been absent lately. It could be something totally personal, I know that, but you never miss Wednesdays. So I wanted to check in to see if you are fine. I really hope you are.”

He took a deep breath after he pressed send. It was a long shot for sure. He didn’t really expect an answer. Maybe a seen. And that would be more than enough.

-------

An unfamiliar chime got Bucky’s attention. It surely came from his phone, but he never heard that sound before. When he took his phone out and saw the notification, his heart skipped a beat, just for a second. It was a message from her. The nervous feeling spread through his body like poison, sweat pooling on his forehead before he even clicked on it.

>> Hey, handsome. Thank you for checking in. I have been a bit busy and sick at the same time. Not the best combo. Sorry for missing the content day. I will make it up next Wednesday.

Bucky looked at the message, a bit confused. He wasn’t interested when the new content was gonna drop. He just wanted to know if she was okay. Being busy and sick at the same time didn’t look so. Content should have been the last thing she should be worried about.

<< I’m not worried about the content, darling. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.

He definitely didn’t expect her to respond this quickly, it didn’t even take a minute.

>> Really? I thought you’d miss me.

She was talking like she knew him personally. Like they have chatted before. It was weird and comforting at the same time.

<< I did miss seeing your cute little face, I’m not gonna lie, but I didn’t message you for that. Content can wait until you feel better.

>> My cute little face is a little bit unpresentable and I appreciate your concern. It’s refreshing to see someone actually cares how I am feeling instead of why I did not share anything lately.

<< I’m sure your cute little face is still the cutest thing on the face of the earth. I wouldn’t worry about being presentable.

>> Get ready for a jumpscare. 

He had no idea what that meant, but the text was followed by a selfie: her, in bed, looking rather exhausted, with a messy bun, cute pajamas, and a cup of tea in her hand. Bucky quickly googled what jumpscare means and came back to the messaging screen.

<< You clearly don’t know what jumpscare means. It would be me, in a dark hallway or an alley. That’s real jumpscare. This is a cute lady who needs a bit of time to recover.

>> First darling, now cute lady. Are you sure you aren’t 60 years old?

<< Why, do you have an age limit?

>> For my content? No. << And for other stuff?

>> The answer is still no, but are you?

<< 60? No. I’m 107.

>> How do you know how to use the app at 107? 

That question made Bucky laugh a little, but he chose to be honest.

<< If I don’t know something I just google it.

>> Shouldn't you be semi-dead at 107?

<< I should be fully dead yet I’m still here.

>> Your profile says 33. Why are you lying handsome?

<< Believe me, my body and soul are older than 33.

>> I kinda believe that because you are talking differently.

<< Is it why you are answering my messages?

>> That and I feel a bit lonely. Your message sounded cute. I usually end the conversation before it gets too far.

<< What’s too far for you?

>> When they start demanding private pictures or try to sext.

Bucky had to google once again what sext means, just to be sure, and it was exactly what he thought it would be.

<< But you sent them to me.

>> Just one picture. A sick selfie and you didn’t ask for it. I thought it would turn you off really badly and you would say take care and end the convo.

<< I still think you look cute.

>> I am starting to believe you might be cute as well.

-------

Bucky had no idea how things got this far with her. After that message, they were literally sending texting each other daily. Just checking in, asking random stuff, or getting to know each other. It was not the same every day. Sometimes it was just a couple of messages and dead silence. Sometimes they communicated all day, non-stop, but Bucky didn’t mind. He didn’t mind not talking to her every day. Knowing that she was okay gave him a bit of peace. Just a good morning or a good night message was enough to ease his anxiety. 

>> Good morning, handsome.

That was the text he woke up to, that made him smile almost all day. Every time he remembered her calling him handsome or taking time to send a message to him, it made him happy. It made him feel different than others. He knew that was not the case. Maybe she kept talking to him because he didn’t make her uncomfortable. Maybe she talked to others too. He had no idea, but whenever he thought about her messaging someone else, he felt a faint pain in his stomach. He knew this feeling was irrational, so he avoidedto think about it as much as possible.

<< Good morning, bunny.

<< Is your favorite color pink? He randomly asked as he had been doing all week. The question came to him because he noticed she wore that color a lot.

>> No, it’s light blue. Why?

<< You wear pink a lot, that’s why I asked.

>> That’s what they like. Most men still think blue is a manly color.

<< You look divine in blue. It’s their loss really.

Her answer was a picture of her in blue lingerie. It surprised him because that photo was not on her profile. He remembered seeing this set, but not this exact photo. He kept looking at the pic for much longer than he should have. Another message woke him up from his trance.

<< I take that as you like it.

>> This photo is not on your profile.

<< No, it’s not.

>> But you feel fine sending it to me.

<< You said I look divine in blue. 

>> You do. I’m just surprised you sent me a photo you didn’t share before. I’m glad you feel comfortable.

<< I’m pretty comfortable talking to you. Otherwise, I wouldn’t talk to someone whose name I don’t know.

>> I don’t know your name either, bunny.

<< You are a smart man. Most assume this is my real name.

>> Using your real name would be an unnecessary risk.

<< Is that why you don’t call me Viv?

>> Maybe. I wasn’t doing it on purpose. Why are you calling me handsome?

<< I don’t know, I never really thought about it.

>> Yeah, exactly. You don’t know what I look like but you are calling me handsome.

<< I would love to see what you look like, but I don’t wanna make you feel uncomfortable.

>> I’m sure what you are imagining is much better than the reality, bunny.

<< Why do you call me bunny?

>> Because of your profile photo. The bunny ears. You look really cute.

-------

Bucky was in the middle of debriefing. After a really long mission, he was finally back in New York. He wondered if Bunny messaged him. That was what he’d been calling her in his mind for a while and suddenly, he realized it might be too weird. Was he getting too creepy? Too comfortable? They didn’t even know each other properly. The last time they talked, she asked him why he didn’t use Viv. Maybe that was a signal for him to go for the fake name instead of his nickname.

“Barnes.” Fury’s voice brought him back to reality.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“I asked if you want to add anything else.” His voice was firm.

“No, no. Romanoff covered it well.”

“Good. Rest for a couple of days. We will be going back to finish what we started.”

When Bucky finally reached out for his phone, Natasha was smiling in the corner.

“Does he have a secret girlfriend?” Sam asked.

“Maybe. I have no idea.” She lied.

-------

>> Good morning, old man.

>> Busy day?

>> I got a funny story to tell you, but you aren’t around.

>> Please tell me I didn’t offend you with the nickname.

>> I am messaging you a lot, aren’t I? I should leave you alone.

>> I’m sorry…

Bucky’s heart was racing as he read the messages. He should’ve warned her about not being online for a while. Instead, she thought she did something wrong. He looked at the message screen, trying tocome up with a good response to assure her that he wasn’t offended. He was an old man after all. What was there to get offended?

<< Hey. I’m sorry. I was away for work. There was no signal. I did not see your messages before. 

<< Just know that you never bother me. You can message me as much as you want. Whenever you want and I will answer when I can.

<< And you know I should be the one to worry if I’m bothering you or creeping you out. Not you.

<< If you still wanna tell me that funny story, I’m here to listen, Viv.

Bucky wasn’t sure if she would reply. After all, she didn’t get a message from him for a while. Maybe he’d already lost his chance… But then his phone chimed.

>> Viv? Where did Bunny go?

>> 🐰

<< You want me to call you Bunny?

>> I got used to it.

<< Okay, Bunny. If that’s what you want.

This made him feel better. Maybe he was just overthinking. She didn’t seem to mind half of the things he was thinking about.

<< Should I get used to being called old man?

>> Does it bother you?

<< It doesn’t. I am an old man.

>> You are 33 if you didn’t lie while creating your profile.

<< Biologically, yes.

>> But you feel older, so you don’t mind.

>> I’m glad you are back.

<< I’m sorry that I didn’t warn you about work.

>> It’s okay. You don’t owe me anything.

That last message broke his heart. He knew she was right. He didn’t owe her anything, but that wasn’t the reason why he was explaining himself. He was doing it because he wanted to, and a small part of him wanted to owe her an explanation. He also wanted her to owe him an explanation. Yet he knew that wasn’t the case.

<< Is that how you feel?

>> Isn’t that how I should feel? I don’t know who you are. I don’t even know what you look like. I just know I like talking to you. If that’s the only thing you are willing to do, then it’s fine by me. I mean you could be married or engaged and I wouldn’t know. So it’s fine, you don’t have to explain yourself.

Bucky looked at the message for a while, digesting what she was saying. She was right. She had no information about who he was while he had access to her all of her content and now private messages. She was completely exposed, and he didn’t even share his name with her. Why would she trust him? Why would she owe him any explanation at all?

<< It’s James.

>> Nice to meet you, James 🐰

>> You have such a beautiful name. 

-------

After he shared his name with her, something changed between them. Something subtle, but it meant a lot to Bucky. It felt like she was more open, and more curious now. 

>> What are you wearing?

Bunny’s question caught him off guard. He looked at himself in panic. He was sitting on the floor, only with his boxers on, so there was no way he could tell her the truth.

<< Pajamas, you?

>> What kind of pajamas? I’m guessing old man pajamas but…I never saw an old man in old-school pajamas. Maybe you can show me.

Shit, shit, shit.

Lying to her was a huge mistake. He had no pajamas to put on. He only had a couple of pants, and henleys, and maybe three jackets. Natasha always made fun of him for wearing the same stuff over and over again. She was trying to hit a nerve so he would go buy something new, but it didn’t work, of course. Now, he wished it did.

He started to panic a little, looking around to find a solution. I could cover my body, a voice in his head said. And that’s what he did. He laid down, covered himself with his blanket, and took the picture. His face wasn’t in the frame, just the tip of his chin. Since he shaved this morning, his dimple was showing. He used his vibranium hand to take the selfie, and in this way, it looked like a normal photo.

It was too late when he noticed the fact that he laying on the floor, not in bed was visible. He cursed to himself while waiting for her answer. There was no way she wasn’t going to comment about the absence of the bed. No way.

>>  I am not seeing any pajamas or your body, old man. It is that bad?

Bucky took a breath of relief. Maybe she did not even notice. After all, she wanted to see him. Maybe she didn’t even pay attention to his surroundings.

Or maybe she just didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. That thought changed his mind. He literally saw every part of her body. Sending a picture back in his boxers shouldn’t be a big deal, right? He stood up and extended his vibranium arm. The new selfie was quite similar except this time he was showing a lot of skin. Starting from the tip of his chin, he showed his upper body only. He looked at the photo before sending it: upper body and black boxers. No bare legs and no face.

>> I see no pajamas. And this body doesn't belong to an old man at all. Are you lying to me, James?🤨

He might have made a mistake by sending this picture. There was no way he could prove to her this is actually him. Especially after all that old man talk. While he was thinking about what he’s gonna do next, he got another message.

>> Cat got your tongue?

<< A bunny did actually.

>> You look good, James. Really good, but you don’t seem excited.

Her response confused him. 

<< Excited?

>> Maybe you need a photo to get excited.

Before he could ask what that means, she sent him a pic of her. Definitely not professionally taken. It’s her in front of the mirror, wearing only shorts and covering her naked breasts with one of her hands while taking the picture with the other. 

>> Hope this helps.

>> But if you wanna see more, you gotta share more.

<< You're very beautiful, bunny, but I hope you know this was not my intention. I was waiting for you to tell me that funny story.

Her response was another photo: a close up on her covered breasts. She looked like she was about to drop her hand and reveal it like he did not see them before.

>> I know.

>> So does this mean you're not excited? I was trying something here…

>> I can tell you the story if that’s what you’d rather do.

“Fuck…” Bucky cursed out loud. He was really good at this before. Flirting and finding the best possible response were easy back in the 40s, but it didn’t feel like that anymore. He was constantly worried about doing something wrong or creeping her out. He wanted to hear the story, but he really wanted to see her breasts too.

<< What do I have to do to see more?

>> I’ve just told you. Share more to get more.

Oh, so she wanted more photos of him, and he literally had no idea how to take flattering pictures.

>> Maybe start by showing me if the photos worked or not.

He looked down at himself and saw his rock-hard cock. How is he supposed to show her? Maybe I should mimic her photos. He touched the outline of his dick, making it a little more visible before taking a picture.

<< Is it clear enough?

>> Oh, you got really excited, didn’t you Jamie?

>> Not an old man after all.

He loudly groaned when he saw what she called him. Jamie. God! He felt a jolt of arousal the moment he read the nickname. He was sure he got even a little harder if that’s possible. 

Before he could find an answer, Bunny sent him another photo. This time her palm was stretched on her breasts, fingers not hiding much anymore, but still, her tits weren’t completely visible. Yet he could see how erect her nipple was. He already had a lot of dirty thoughts: like taking her nipple into his mouth and torturing her before giving in. He just didn’t know if he should voice them or not.

<< Oh, that nipple…

>> What about it?

<< You wanna hear what I am thinking about?

>> Well, since I’m trying to tempt you here… What do you think?

<< Fuck, Bunny. You have no idea what you are doing to me.

>> I am dying to hear it though.

Instead of telling her, Bucky decided to show her. He tried to position himself in front of the camera and take a good photo of his erection. He tried a couple of different angles, but it was a dick after all. Nothing he tried seemed to make it seem more appealing in his view. When he finally sent the picture, he added a small text.

<< How about I show you instead?

>> Oh my god!

>> You were hiding that from me all this time?

>> Damn, I feel robbed.

<< Does this mean you like it, doll?

>> Oh, that’s new.

>> And I like it.

>> Maybe even better than Bunny.

>> And yes, I am actually drooling right now even with that horrible angle. 

<< Horrible angle? How should I do this then? I never...

>> Do you want me to teach you, old man? Because I can.

<< I’m always open to learning new stuff. That’s the only thing you can always rely on.

>> Ohh, I love that. Open-minded, doesn’t mind taking criticism, no fragile masculinity. All very hot. 

>> Try taking a picture in front of the mirror maybe. Don’t take the picture from above or too down. Try to use eye level if you aren’t particularly doing something. That works better.

Using a mirror wasn’t a good idea for him. He could imagine the photos looking better like that, but there was no way he could hide his metal arm.

So instead of positionin his camera above, he tried to level it down, showing his full length and thickness. A photo didn’t seem to work so he decided to record a short video of him playing with himself: his flesh hand going up and down slowly on his full length. He couldn’t help but let a low moan when his hand brushed against the head. Fuck, imagining her seeing this… The idea turned him on even more. He got so excited that he forgot to check the video before sending it.

>> Fuck, James.

>> Fuck fuck fuck.

>> Your voice is so fucking hot.

>> And you are so aroused. Is it all for me?

<< It’s all for you, doll.

<< This is what you do to me. All the time. 

<< God, I wish you were here.

Bunny or Doll, he had no idea which one suits her better, sent a video as the response: her fingers, two of them, going in and out inside her. She was going pretty fast, indicating she had been doing this for a while, and there was a faint moaning in the background, which Bucky couldn’t get enough of. He watched the video twice before answering.

>> You are gonna be the death of me.

>> Are those fingers enough? Do you want a third one or maybe you would rather have a big dildo inside?

<< I would rather have you inside me.

After this point, everything felt like a blur. Things got out of hand, they kept exchanging photos and videos until they both got pretty powerful orgasms. Yet James found himself wanting more. So much more than she probably wanted to offer.

>>> Next Chapter

[comicaurora]

These have been pent up for a while, so there's a whole list lol. Some are Aurora, some are not.

1) Can lacrimas carry out multiple purposes at once? Or will they blend them? I'm assuming that this is possible, considering that the automaton in the ruins was using a lacrima as a brain

2) Has anyone tried to make tools or weapons out of lacrimas? I'm talking like chisel that needs no hammer. Or maybe a Fire lacrima on a bow that sets your arrows on fire

3) Can you engrave runes on lacrimas to make them affect themselves?

4) Where can I read more about the Twins? If I'm not wrong they're the creator gods, aided by the Light dragon and the Void dragon to create life, but I might be getting a wrong read on that

5) Since we see Erin successfully become the first Void mage, does that now mean there's potential for him to make a Void lacrima? The dragon probably won't allow it, but still

6) What exactly does elemental corruption of each element do? Fire literally burns you up, as we saw in Arc 1. I can infer that Life likely makes you a chimera. Void corruption makes you a cave crawler. But what do the other one do? Does Earth make you a statue? Does Wind disintegrate you, Thanos style?

7) Now onto the non-Aurora questions, is your art vector or raster? I believe it's vector, but it's always better to confirm

8) What are your opinions on reading into the environment and the character design to infer things about the character themselves? In any type of media

9) Have you played Baldur's Gate 3?

10) Do you have any music that you'd recommend? I've listened to every song I liked so many times that I hate them now.

11) I'm new to Tumblr, anything that I should know? You don't have to answer this one if you don't wanna. I think I know some of the basics already. Reblog what you like, and avoid the terfs, right?

You might be able to tell that I like the idea of the lacrimas a little bit. Just a teensy bit. The artificer in me definitely isn't obsessed. I appreciate any answers you can give :3

Cheers!

Ooh, lots of stuff!

Yes, it's possible. A lacrima can be engraved with multiple spells, set in a casing engraved with commands, or some combination of the two. Typically, all spells engraved directly on a lacrima will activate at once when the lacrima is "switched on", but a spell can be quite complex, and conditional activations are possible - "if-then-else" statements, basically.

Yes, magic items exist.

Generally no. If the lacrima is disrupted or broken, the spell generally stops functioning, so a self-affecting lacrima will run only as long as it takes for the lacrima to distort or break.

There's an extra lore page about them!

He probably could if he wanted to (and the Dragon allowed it) but Void energy is very dangerous, so he likely doesn't want to.

Each form of elemental corruption agitates the presence of the element in the mage's body. Earth corruption can damage or alter bones, encourage unhealthy petrification of soft tissues, etc. Wind corruption can have physical effects but it often most obviously produces breakdowns in the person's ability to speak or understand language. Lightning damages, numbs or intensifies a person's physical senses.

Raster, I draw with CSP's digital pens. I've only very briefly experimented with vector art - I don't like how it simplifies the lines.

I think it's a fun school of analysis but, like all literary analysis, it runs into trouble if it tries to lock down exactly what the writer was thinking or intending (which is an objective fact that one can be incorrect about) rather than trying to analyze the story on its own and what meaning might, intentionally or unintentionally, be factoring into it.

Nope

don't trust my taste in music it's 90% nu metal and sonic OSTs

Like what you like, reblog what you want, generally it's considered dubious form to add a comment to a reblog unless you have something profound to contribute (commenting in the tags is fine), steer clear of discourse and callout posts and generally the sectors of the site that are constantly on fire, blocking someone for any reason is 100% fine

[kneelbeforeyourdogbabylon]

New Good Omens fic: Shake Like Hell and Spell Success

Warning: contains extreme self-indulgence, proceed at your own risk!

Rating: Explicit

CW and tags: Lingerie, Crowley in lingerie, PWP, smut with feelings, many many more tags at AO3

Thanks so much to @on1occasionfork for beta work! And @kotias for the Writers Guild prompts, and @goodomensafterdark for being the best breeding ground for smutwork I've ever encountered. ❤️❤️❤️

Summary:

Set after S1/Armageddon. Newly smitten (I believe), Aziraphale tries to create the perfect first-time scenario but has difficulties. As usual, Crowley doesn’t know what’s going on until he does, and then he knocks it out of the park on his first swing, because, demon? There's lingerie involved.

Excerpt: 

Aziraphale blinked. He’d changed clothes. Though with Crowley, what did that mean? He often just miracled his attire on a whim, so this wasn’t out of character. Though Aziraphale couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Crowley in such sweeping… concealment?

He looked regal and silver-screenish, posing up there on the iron spiral in a long dressing gown of blackest midnight. The high collar clasped at his neck, and a trailing asymmetry of obsidian buttons and gems swirled down the entire length to the floor. Long sleeves wafted to almost his fingertips, with only the suggestion of bare toe and foot at the hem. His hair was a wild blaze over it all. The candle flame on a Satanic taper, Aziraphale thought, a bit wildly. He looked like a cult leader. Dear god. Ridiculous. He had thought Crowley looked well today in his standard uniform of sleek contemporary black. But this…so buttoned up, so alluring, waiting for someone to discover the secret pattern that would undo those buttons, gape open that rippling cloth.

Aziraphale could feel the sweat starting under his own too-tight collar. His mouth dried up. His throat harsh with sudden desperation, he swallowed and forced himself to speak. “Oh! Um. Wonderful. Capital. An evening in? Dressing gowns, smoking pipes, reading books, lovely, lovely. Just a quiet night in. Just what I’d like.”

“Absolutely right on the night in part,” Crowley said. He stalked slowly down the stairs, to the faint strains of Dvořák. “But hard disagree on all the rest of that.”

Oh. Oh? “Oh. Really?”

“Really,” Crowley repeated. The robe had a decorative sash hanging careless and loose around Crowley’s hips, and he took one end of it, twirled it like a film star as he sauntered up to Aziraphale, who stood frozen under the golden afternoon light from the dome overhead. “Don’t think I don’t appreciate it, Aziraphale. All of this?” He waved at the plant, the books. “Very nice. But unnecessary.”

“Unnecessary?” But Aziraphale knew exactly what he meant. As he’d suspected — the whole affair had been a botch. But they were finally running at the same speed, finally standing still at the same moment. The niceties of courting were just that.

Crowley slid the sash through his fingers, and let it drop. “I think we should go upstairs, angel.”

[nitewrighter]

For ask game:

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

50. Open ended! If there’s something you’d like to discuss or gush about this is a free space

17. Honestly this is an AU because it's a Universe where Batman admits he needs help but after reading Failsafe I NEEEEED Bruce to talk to Harvey Dent about Zur-En-Arrh. I need a Harvey who has actually managed to work out a solid balance with his Big Bad Harv personality to chew the fuck out of Bruce for creating a psychotic alternate personality on purpose. I need Bruce in a sheen of cold sweat showing up at Harvey's door in the middle of the night saying, "I made a mistake. And I need help."

And this is going to be a Harvey that's actually taken the time to not just get on top of his own fucked up alternate personality, but also successfully carve out a niche for himself in the Gotham underworld as a sort of gray agent, utilizing his legal know-how to not just sidestep major conflicts between Gotham Rogues but also quietly create an exit network for henchmen that otherwise would have just been fall guys or cannon fodder for the Riddler or the Penguin or whoever. So he'd be kind of like the legal equivalent of the Underbroker, but his coin would also come into play in terms of who he helps and who he doesn't.

On a more *actual* AU note (but not really) I want to Isekai the MAWS trio to the world of Myrra so bad. I reference Nightmaster in that one "Forest Bathing" porn I wrote and it's lurked at the back of my mind, since.

There's also always that 1970's/1980's Sword and Sorcery Crossover Tavern. Samwise Gamgee and Moonglum of Elwher talk about their fucked up relationships with The Main Characters.

50. Oh gosh, I'm drawing a blank on what exactly to talk about. I feel like there should be more of a network of support especially for new fanfic writers. Like, I've been writing fic for more than 10 years but I see these younger, newer writers on AO3 be like "This is my first fic!! Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!" And then... they get almost zero hits and no comments and you can see they get discouraged and never post again. People see a typo or a clumsy characterization or bad formatting and they click right out, and I think this is part of the issue with fanfic culture is like... we're so used to seeking out fics that perfectly fit our perceptions of the characters that we kind of stonewall out a lot of newer voices that are still trying to find their own styles. And THEN we have the gall to turn around and complain about how fanon has distorted this or that character when it's like... we're creating that environment!! We're the ones raising up some voices and discouraging others! There are so many fan studies scholars talking about how 'collaborative' a community fanfic is--and I know because I talked about fanfic communities as part of my Info Communities class in library school! But I honestly feel like we could be doing more to support newer fanfic creators.

[choicesficwriterscreations]

September MC & OCs of the Month - Special Edition: Celia Moore

Help us in welcoming September's MCs and OCs of the month! That's right, plural! Most months, CFWC highlights one randomly selected MC or OC from our Meet My MC / OC List. (More info here.) But this month, we're doing something different.

In August, @lilyoffandoms hosted a Writers Appreciation Month, and we announced the September Writer of the Month would be selected from its participants. But all participants agreed - Lily deserved the honor! Still, we wanted to do something nice for the eleven writers who elected to participate to help uplift other writers in the fandom. So, this month, each of the eleven participants will have one of their MCs or OCs highlighted.

We will introduce each MC / OC individually, and once all eleven have been highlighted, a masterlist for the month will be created. We hope you enjoy getting to know all about them!

The ninth MC of the Month is @trappedinfanfiction 's Celia Moore!

Learn more about Celia below...

In your own words, tell us what you like most about your MC. 

It’s hard to say exactly what I like most about her, but probably her dedication. She doesn’t back down when things don’t go her way and will always do everything she can to do what she believes is right. She has worked hard to end up where she has, and she knows it; she won’t let the words of others destroy her own accomplishments. 

Do you feel your MC is like you at all? How are you alike or different?

I feel like I put some of myself in every MC/OC I have, and Celia is no different. She might be the one that I am the most alike, but at the same time, she’s a lot different from me. Maybe a bit more like how I want to be. She’s passionate and not afraid to speak up if something is wrong and is willing to take risks to turn things in a better direction, especially in the medical world. She’s also a lot more social than me. While she enjoys her alone time and keeps a smaller circle of very close friends, she doesn’t really have a problem talking and getting to know new people. 

What is most important to your MC? What is their motivation in life?

The most important thing for Celia is the people around her, her family, friends and patients. They are her motivation. She wants them to have a good life and wants to help where she can. She hates where the medical world is heading, where money is becoming more important than what the people needs. As her influence in the medical world grows, she uses her privilege to work for a world where people don’t have to go into a life-time of debt just to get the help they need, and that no one should be turned away just because of their looks and identity. 

What are their biggest pet peeves/dislikes? 

People who always think they know best because they googled something and generally rude/intolerant people. “Oh, you’re a woman? You have to be a nurse. Let me speak to a man.” is something she hears a lot, and it makes her blood boil.

If your MC could change one thing - anything - what would it be? 

If she could change the world, she would. She knows it’s impossible in reality, but through her work she knows she at least can help her patients. She will do her very best to give every single patient the help they need. Be it someone to talk to, or finding the right treatment.

What is your MC’s favorite quote or song? 

This one is so hard! I never have any idea when I am asked about music, because what I listen to isn’t necessarily what my MC/OCs would like and I honestly can’t even settle on my own favorites. However, I can see her liking Raleigh Carrera’s music.

Is there anything else you’d like to share about your MC?

I never believed that I would ever post any of my writing, but Celia has been my door into sharing it. She has developed into her own character outside the MC I played as in Open Heart and I have had so much fun writing her story. She was my escape during the pandemic and I have gotten so many friends in the fandom because of her. Some have left, and some are still here, and I am grateful for every single one. I never believed what was supposed to be a small drabble would lead to where things are now.

[euphor1a]

For those who missed it: introducing txt fic hub!

Hello moablr! Guess who? 🥸 I don’t know if anyone is here who does not know that I moved blogs, but, surprise! It’s aleyna from the now deleted blog, cupidchois xD

Anyway, let me get back on track.

Back on December 2021, I was sketching out a plan to start a discord server for all txt fic writers & readers!

Why was I working on something like that? Well, the writing community was declining rapidly. And sadly, it has only worsened since then. In case you’re still not aware, the interactions have been decreasing to the point it feels pointless sometimes, writers have got their works stolen and reposted, and, people still get hate over literally anything, for god knows what reason! So many writers have quit because of the above mentioned reasons and more, and there are many who are contemplating to do the same. Can you blame them, though?

If you are someone who has been here since 2020/21, you know exactly what I’m talking about. And what does this server has to do with what is going on? It’s an attempt to help with the current situation.

Now, why should you consider joining the txt fic hub? How will that benefit you?

If you are a writer, we strive to create a space where you can promote your works, seek help for anything writing related (beta readers, fic banners, tumblr advice) and connect with the fellow writers and obviously, the readers. We’ve added the sprinto bot for writers who are looking for sprints! We welcome mxr writers as well as mxm writers!

If you are a reader, you can easily find new fics to read by checking the fic promotion channels! If you have a favorite fic you want to share with others, there’s a fic rec channel for that too! You can help out the writer’s by providing feedback!

In general, you can make new connections, have fun chatting, and help strengthen the bond of the moablr writing community! You can select your unique roles from the customization channel! We have various bots for your entertainment (memes, music, etc.), and we take suggestions, so you can always tell us what you think would be nice addition to the server! We also have different spaces created for minors and adults <3

Additionally, you’ll only have to follow a few chat rules and promotion rules! This is not any type of network, so you can leave at any moment if you get overwhelmed (we will try our best to not let that happen) or simply lose interest; and there’s absolutely nothing you need to notify the admins about. This is your place, and you can share as little or as much information you feel comfortable with!

The server is up and currently consists of 91 active and inactive members! If you face any problems, you can always reach out to me (the admin) or the mods who are there to help out! 😊

Signal boosts appreciated! You can join txt fic hub here ↓↓

[gleefulpoppet]

fic writer 20 questions - ask game

I was tagged by @bitbybitwrites As for tagging more friends, I think everyone I know who writes has been tagged but if you haven't been tagged, then you should play, too!

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

32

2. what's your ao3 word count?

1,635,923

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Glee! Specifically Klaine.

4. top 5 fics by kudos

Pressed Against The Glass Better Knot Bow Tie Company: Act One Soulsongs and Seastars  Rock, Paper, Scissors Sonder

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

I try my hardest! I mostly write "live" these days, though, and I get behind because I'm hitting "post chapter" and then starting a new document to write the next. I read every single one and treasure them dearly. They keep me going, and I appreciate them so much. I plan on getting to the ones I've missed eventually!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

No can do. I promise Klainbows 100% of the time. I read and write fanfiction to escape the hell that is reality. If the boys haven't found a way to make life work together... the fic isn't over yet! ♥♥♥ I suppose that Magic Spoken at Midnight is a tiny bit angsty because we know they have a lot of work ahead of them to restore Pantasia (but it's not angst between Klaine).

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Okay, now this is a hard question! I think my favorite ending is tied with Rock, Paper, Scissors, and Never Crossed the Line.

8. do you get hate on fics?

Luckily, no!

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

I do! I didn't find fanfic (or Glee) until I was very much an adult. All my stories are almost exclusively Explicit! 😂 I started writing smut because I wanted to read stories that treated sex as something that could be both smoldering hot and sacredly beautiful at the same time. I've tried several times to sit down and write PWP, and it always turns into something more. And I've learned I just have to embrace that about myself!

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've ever written?

No, I never have. Maybe someday?

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

I sure hope not.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

I was part of the fandom project PROM-US and wrote two chapters of that. I've never co-written something with just two people where you would plot it out together and such.

14. fave all time ship?

Klaine forever!

15. wip you want to finish but doubt you will?

I have a few "brainstorming" documents where I write lists and quick paragraphs when they jump into my mind and research articles, and... you get the idea. I wouldn't call them WIP exactly. I know some of them I might never get to write. But as for WIP, where there is some sort of structure? I will get them done! My brain won't allow me to sleep at night if I don't convince it they'll all get done.

16. what are your writing strengths?

I hope it's writing conversations that are hard to have. Digging down into details and asking hard questions. Working through things with another human being without someone slamming a door and leaving. Writing about vulnerability in intimacy. (I think that conversations can be more intimate than sex, for sure!).

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

I can't stand missing a moment of their lives in some of these AUs I create. I want to know everything they're doing. The first few months of a relationship are so crucial, and I LOVE that part. I'm not sure it's a weakness so much as I wish I was comfortable skipping huge chunks of time and not needing to write 400 words about how they looked at each other the first time they made toast together in the morning.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I shall leave that to people who are much better at it than I am.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

Glee

20. fave fic you've written?

This question always fills me with panic. How can I pick? I am absolutely loving writing Sonder right now. It's a WIP that I update several times a week. It's captured my heart. As for one that is already finished, I think I'll pick Since Sense Sensory. Ask me tomorrow, and I'm sure I'll pick something different!

Thank you! This was fun!

[itsmelb]

The ultimate Only Friends The Series resumé

So we are here at the end of the series we all couldn't wait to see the whole year. And I just wanna say some things about the series, the actors, the circumstances, my emotions. U know me I have a lot to say in general but firstly I am just so grateful to have witnessed this kinda evolution of BL series and now let's get deeper into the mess 😆

The series

As I said it was so highly awaited that I was sure ppl would be delulu all the time. I knew that there would be beef because everyone wants mess and when they get it they can't handle it. I know ppl expect things from BLs (me too I don't exclude me) and when it isn't how it (apparently) should be (in their opinion) and it's exactly how life COULD be ppl hate, be shitty and say mean things in general.

I mean I was mad when the directors and writers cut out TopMew scenes just because "fans" hated on them (I still don't get it) but I never once hated on Ray, Boston or somebody else (like hating Khao or sb). I can say we'll that's shitty what he's done, I can say I am mad at Boston for this but as I said before life is not perfect. I also can forgive somebody when I see okay he changes for me, the other one I don't. I think ppl should not watch the series when they can't accept failure and not being perfect then. When you want a BL like in books go watch Lita or Hidden agenda or sth.

This sometimes killed my mood. But well I am obsessed with the actors of this series. And it's what kept me watching. The mess was real.

The actors

Book aka Mew: my beloved Bookie. I think he did so great. And I am not saying this just because I love him sm. He worked his ass off. He never did a role like this (playing so many emotions and naivness and all that we've seen). I am really excited to see what he is up to. I hope he gets to challenge himself again. I wish that ppl see how well he's doing. He deserves the praise for this role and all that are coming. 🍅💕

Force aka Top: I love bad boy Force. I love his smirk his laugh and him. I like how he acted the scenes from asshole to in love like a fool haha. I don't get why ppl hate on his acting. He improved sm I just want that he gets some respect. 🦊🫶🏻

-> Forcebooks chemistry was so good. All the stares and the cries and all the heavy emo stuff. I love them sm it hurts that ppl are so disgusting. They deserve the world and I am so proud to be their fan 🦊🍅💕

Khao as Ray and First as Sand: K is so naturally talented. I like his ways. I love his eyes and his smile. I like the way he and First act and be together. I like how they both cry so beautifully. I love how First can be fierce and soft. Also his expressions are so good. Their characters were a mess and they acted the part so good.

-> I realised that they don't belong on my top list of actors anymore. I mean, dont get me wrong. I appreciate and respect their acting, and their sexyness is beyond good, but I prefer others more. It's just a feeling I can't explain it further.

Neo as Boston, Mark as Nick: They did so good with their messy characters and all their deep shit. I like how it turned out at the end btw them. I like how Nick said, I can't be with u bc u are who u are but that's okay for u not for me though. I think that's so real. Also Boston is Boston, personally I couldn't be with sb like him but some will and it's okay. I can respect that.

-> Neo Mark did so good they grew on me. Especially Neo. He acted so good that we could hate Boston. U have to do that first. And Mark well the emotions were big!!!

Lookjun, Nonnie, Mond, Drake, Jennie as Cheum, April, Boeing, Gap and Yo: I love the mess around them, that Mond was Boeing was such a crazy thing. Also Drakes guest star was so sexy. The girls should have been there more. I don't know... they picked them well.

...and Mix as the first guest lol: holy shit I knew he would be there. I love him sm. And I am here for him to create chaos...and that's why..

My personal emotional ofts rambles

The emotions I had during this series were like a crazy ride. I am happy and sad and angry and a little disappointed and that's just the half of it haha. They did well. They could have done better though. Don't cut scenes just bc ppl want it, let stories tell and let them flow, be more accepting about different love lifes, different ppl different perspectives and last but not least accept failure from characters.

And at the end I would finally say my ranking of my fav characters I did a while ago and now I wanna do it again:

1. Mew (still on top sorry haha)

2. Top (yeah back on top really. All Mew said about forgiveness and that I agree)

3. Nick (just because I like that he looks after himself now!)

4. Sand (If he is there for u u won)

5. Cheum

6. Ray (how the tables have turned. I just don't like that he gets through with everything. Yah)

7. Boston (still last because I personally don't like his motives. And that is just my opinion)

And that's that. 💯 it was a ride. I am sad that this ended..

..but maybe we get Season 2 with Mix? I would watch it for sure 😆

[thefact0rygirl]

Hi Vee, the last few anons about engagement have really resonated with me and I want to add my own feelings. This is not directed at you, I just appreciate how you answered those anons and thought you would be the safest person to say this to.

Everyone is a lot busier now as we are forced back to the pre-pandemic 'normal'. Readers don't have the support system that writers do, so they're less likely to stay. And I think your point about fandoms growing and shrinking naturally is also true of this fandom. It is simply something that happens.

Writers responding to previous anons that they're not getting notifications of comments and posts not appearing in the search again is annoying. Readers have had these problems for months, but it is never considered in posts about engagement. They just do not have a platform to talk about these issues because readers follow writers, not vice versa.

I find other fandoms to be more welcoming where readers can discuss with writers in separate posts, but this does not seem to be the case here. Reaching out to writers through asks or DMs is almost never reciprocated, so advice for people to do so falls flat. Some writers are on discord where they have their own discussions, but readers are not included and there is nothing similar just for readers. While it's not the writer's fault, there is a perception of a hierarchy where readers are only that: readers. They're not people to include or interact with, they're just the people whose job it is to reblog and that is all they are good for. The writers who say 'cherish your writers otherwise they'll leave' could take a step back and ask themselves how they're treating everyone else. Do they cherish their readers? If so, do they communicate that? Do they engage with/reach out to readers, or do they stick with other writers? If readers feel like they're not actual members of the fandom, why would they stay?

A previous anon said that posts about low engagement are off putting and I agree. There are writers, who I have reblogged, posting about how current interaction is not enough which has made me feel incredibly unworthy. I might make a shorter comment than others do or add only tags, but that plus the time spent reading it in the first place is time and effort I could have given to someone else. It is this, and the difficulty in making connections, that make me seriously consider deactivating. After all, what is the point of me being here if all I am is an outsider? I'm here to talk about Star Wars and make friends with like minded people but I'm not good enough to create and it is very clear that is the only thing that matters here.

Sorry for the essay Vee

Hi babes 💜 There is no need to apologize! I’m honored that you felt safe enough to send this. The previous anons brought up what a lot of people have been feeling (myself included). 

Interaction is a sensitive topic - one without a clear and definitive answer - and that is frustrating. It’s not a comfortable conversation, but it's still worth having. Especially when so many people are feeling the same way.

You brought up so many important points, especially from a reader’s perspective! Thank you for sending this in. I’ve been thinking about this recently, and you articulated it so well!

We always say that fandom is a community, but there absolutely is an emphasis on writers. More often than not, we stress how readers should be interacting, but rarely is the opposite discussed. It's presented almost like a one-way street, and that doesn't exactly promote a community that is inclusive of both readers and writers. I can see how that might make a reader feel that they are only good for reblogging. That sounds really unfair, especially when many writers know what it feels like to be treated like writing machines.

And you're right. It's discouraging to feel like you're not good enough. If you always feel second best then why stay? No one wants to feel like that. I don’t blame readers for leaving or stop reblogging. 

Interactions are a complicated thing, and to truly understand it we need to look at it from everyone's perspective. It's not to assign blame to anyone (tbh I don't think that is helpful), but to understand what is happening and look at our own actions. Everyone's experience in fandom is valid. Thank you again for sharing this 🤍

[greg-montgomery]

I’m really sorry if I was the person that sent you and ssa-Morgan-hotchner the same asks. I wanna make excuses about it having been a long time or I forgot who I’d previously sent it to but truthfully I just didn’t think before asking, I should be more considerate of how writers feel receiving stuff like that especially anonymously :/. I’ll be more thoughtful in future of how I request these things. Sorry again if it made you feel used or unappreciated. I know you guys do all this out of the kindness of your hearts so I’ll keep that in mind and not treat bloggers like fic machines.

I do love both of your blogs and I will continue to be a fan but hopefully a more thoughtful one. (I sent a similar message to Greg-Montgomery just to make sure you both know it was not my goal to upset either of you. I love both of your work <3)

thank you!!

okay so - i don’t think it was about you? i didn’t notice getting the same ask as morgan. it’s not possible to keep track of everything that gets posted by other blogs. it was about a request mon received that was very similar to one i got and then another request i got for a reader who has adhd (which i was really excited to write bc i also have it but i saw today another blog got the same request and already wrote it - and i bet did it beautifully - so i obviously won’t).

it wasn’t targeted at certain people, just in general bc it happens a lot. sometimes i notice it sometimes i don’t.

it means the world to me that you sent this because you understood exactly what i mean! and of course your apology is accepted 💞💞

i know that when you guys do that you don’t mean any harm and that like you said you don’t think of it that way. that’s why i wanted to explain why it makes me uncomfortable.

imagine getting a request and getting excited about it and planning what you wanna write and suddenly seeing someone has already posted it. it’s very disappointing.

there are many blogs that post similar content so they might just blend all together in your minds but behind those blogs we are just some guys who love aaron as much as you do and are excited to talk about him or create stories about him with you.

i’m not attacking anyone and i’m not angry at anyone i’m just saying these things so you can all see our point of view.

anyway. thank you very much for sending this and i really appreciate it 🫶🏻 i hope you have a beautiful day!!

[ineffable-opinions]

VIP Only (2023) ep. 3, 4 & 5

Review: Soft to strong.    Rating: 7/10

Summary: Author struggling with a writer’s block and non-existent love-life, Lui Li, becomes a permanent fixture at Gu Jing’s restaurant. Will Gu Jing’s indulgence be a panacea for Lui Li’s troubles?

Pairing: weak gong X weak shou turning strong

What I liked:

# Aquarium date

I think that aquariums are one of the most visually pleasing places to have date at. It is a public enough place that is still in-doors/all-weather. It gives plenty of opportunity to chat and build a rapport.

Those visuals reminded me of in Color Rush (2020) and Kei×Yaku: Abunai Aibou (2022).

# cute prop

It is so cute. The You Are Mine (2023) CP had their acrylic stand super-randomly placed in the room and appearing centrally in cut-away shots and transition shots.

# Egg scene

It is common for a couple to feed other by hand, soup, chopstick, lips, etc. Due to trope reasons, I don’t appreciate people not part of pairing feeding those who are part of the paring, unless it is kids or parents or kin figures. So I would have been upset if Gu Jing’s employee was to feed Liu Li the egg he peeled.

# Gu Jing's drama

Gu Jing being filial-piety-trapped into the taking care of the restaurant rather than being able to freely pursue an ad industry career is a reflection of Taiwanese capitalism. This was also explored in the two BL series this production house did prior to this with increasing levels of familial obligations in each. SME longevity problems! Laissez-faire who?

While it is not shown who exactly is draining him financially and emotionally, it is probably his grandma or someone among his kin. Gu Jing having problems of his own not only adds to his arc but also complicates the pair dynamics as we see at the end of ep 5. Too drained to date is one of the more realistic tropes in BL.

The online smear-campagin he faced and the leech kin are probably connected too.

But then Liu Li’s absconding parents, who seems to want him to settle down, are no solace either.

# Liu Li’s third book

I love how his books so far have been commemoration of a love that didn’t happen and associated heart-break. I love the ease with which they strike their deal. Lui Li knows what he wants. So does Gu Jing. I mean, Liu Li was studiously taking notes of Gu Jing when the latter is working, cooking or simply existing. The CP has progressed to a point where Lui Li is not a passive part of Gu Jing’s still-life photography, now he is actively posing. Gu Jing proactively offered his romantic services for Liu Li’s novel factory, free-of-cost. They are folding origami bluebirds even when out on snack breaks discussing the novel.

# Super cool CP

As their first date/b'day hangout revealed, they have different visions of dating.

Gu Jing is pursuing by lecturing on pursuing. Lesson #1 was constantly creating physical contact during romantic pursuit. Delivered while maintaining physical contact. Hands-on approach to teaching. Simulated dating. Complete with blocking drinks and honeyed water hangover remedy. I didn’t even get too irritated by the turning face into kiss trope. But I continue in my conviction that the director did the series dirty by opting for different angle shots of that kiss. Holding that pose is awkward on so many levels.

And Liu Li is fully leaning into the wakashu/apprentice trope.

But in many ways, they are like an old married couple. They seem to sync like they have known each other for ages. Especially, the way they tease each other. Not to forget their body language when returning from the horror movie.

Misattribution of arousal, suspension bridge effect, Lima syndrome, Stockholm syndrome etc. None of them got anything to do with this CP.

Body as pillow scene looked so comfortable.

Playing with origami bluebirds should have looked way more childish but with how short that scene was I think the director managed to nail the scene without making it awkward or uneventful. This BL has unleashed so many silly things to do when drunk that are totally sane.

Even outside drunken shenanigans, this couple spends a lot of time in-doors in harmony, folding paper and making dumplings.

“You are more well-behaved after drinking.” Gu Jing is an inspiration for BL characters around the world.

Also, Liu Li probably thinks of himself as the gong. Overall, I get the vibe that even if he gets to be gong for their first time, it wouldn’t last. A’Li, better luck in next life. For now, please enjoy Gu Jing’s services and bite what you can actually chew.

# Gu Jing & A’Ren

I like the tacit-understanding and the overall dynamic between Gu Jing and A’Ren. I particularly like the taste-testing scene where the employee gets to try the new thing. What made that scene even better was how Gu Jing endorsed Liu Li’s picky eating habit in the very next scene.

What I didn’t like:

# Underutilized beauty

Danmei is called so for a reason. Gu Jing’s 一姐* goodness has been wasted so far, imo. We got to see him in sleeveless just once but even then, it wasn’t the most flattering look. He also got an unflattering POV shot for no reason at all. Why? I am disappointed at the DOP.

# What’s with the tiny pottery-making scene? I hope there is an extended version somewhere.

# Song lyrics at the bottom corners of the screen gives me the impression that end credits are rolling. Each time it takes me aback. They should have placed the lyrics, in motion, vertically on either of the sides.  

-----

一姐: first sister; apex of gay hierarchy in their culture

[alaffy]

Gossip Girl, Ep2x07 – Dress me Up! Dress me down! (Spoilers)

Before I go into the episode, I would like to discuss one relationship that I haven’t really discussed; Max and Luna.  I want to say how much I appreciate their friendship; that they really have this best friend vibe going on.  They get each other in ways that I don’t think anyone else gets them (at least, not yet).  It’s just a very loving and supportive friendship.  As for the episode itself….

Seriously writers, you have got to stop having all the story arcs climax at the same time and in the same location.  This is getting stupid.  Yes, plots continue from episode to episode, but…how do I put this?  So many thing that are introduced in an episode are dealt with in that episode.  Or, on the rare occasions that they last more than one episode, they don’t last two.  Sure there may be fallout from those events, but it also feels like so many events don’t matter.  Like Julien’s story with Graham.  Or storylines could be made stronger by letting them play out longer. Like with Zoya’s and Monet’s story in this episode.  

This episode’s big event is a luncheon where people are getting awards and Kiki is showing off her new fashion collection (look, the more they talked about this luncheon, the less it made sense).  Of course Kiki is excited as this is a big step forward after, well, everything that’s happened.  Of course, we find out that Audrey hasn’t told her mother that Audrey’s father and Kiki’s ex-assistant are back in town and that Audrey is going to see them.  

I’ll be perfectly honest, this post is going to be less of a recap (although there will be some) and more my thoughts on the outcome of said events.  I should note that Shan is not in this episode.  Nick is in this episode, although briefly.  Aki is here, but there isn’t a story that focuses on him. Max does have a bit of a plot as he’s trying to impress Audrey’s dad.  But that ends when he realizes how much of an asshole the dad is (although I really did like how Max was able to call out exactly what was wrong with the dad).

There seems to be a possible romance in Luna’s future.  Also, I want to say how much Luna has grown on me over the two seasons.  At first, she was just a minion who’s name I couldn’t remember.  But now…honestly, things would be a lot less messy if they would just listen to Luna’s advice.  It’s kind of funny, but honestly I think Luna has the most power on the show as she can easily make or break a person.

With Obie, we have him trying to figure out a way to tell the world that his mother was the one who paid the expert to lie.  This time, he goes to his sister.  Obie points out to her that this isn’t like the other times that he’s gone against his mother; as, well, the mother always crosses the line but this time she did a long jump over it. At first, it doesn’t seem like the sister will help.  However, she lets Obie know how the mother was able to pay the expert and gives him the documents to prove it.  Obie sends this to GG and tells her to post it during the event, as his mother is getting an award.  And it has to be before the mother leaves for the airport, otherwise the mother will never come back to the US and Germany won’t extradite her. Sure.  Of course, GG is dealing with her own stuff (get to that in a minute) and it isn’t posted.  Obie sister tells him he can never do anything right and threatens that he’d better not tell anyone that she helped him.    

Meanwhile, Georgina now has access to GG and, if Kate doesn’t show she has what it takes to create chaos, Georgina will lock Kate out of the account and run GG herself.  Look this whole part of this episode is stupid (well, not Georgina, I really do like her).  But they basically get Georgina to go away by making GG boring for her by posting a picture of Kate and Jordan kissing and saying they’re having an affair. A kiss that makes Kate realize that she has feeling for Jordan.  Which Kate ends up not telling him because she finds out that Georgina pretended to be someone else and slept with Jordan.  And I guess that, in the world of teen drama, this is a big thing. However, Kate has come to the realization that Georgina has awoken something in her; that she doesn’t want to focus on the small stuff anymore.  Which almost makes it sound like she’s going after the parents (well, the last couple of episodes have given us enough shitty parents to work with, soo…).

Zoya, once again, is used as a pawn.  In this case, Camille invites Zoya to this event under the guise of wanting to get to know Zoya better and possible helping Zoya make connections that will help her further in life.  Zoya agrees to go, but it’s made very clear that Zoya doesn’t completely believe Camille. She does understand that there is quite possibly an ulterior motive under all of this.  Still, she also knows that she’s basing her thoughts about Camille based on what she’s heard from other sources, not by her own experiences.  So, Zoya goes into this with the belief that she should give Camille a chance, but also very aware this is probably not what it seems.

And, of course, it isn’t what it seems.  It turns out that Camille is using Zoya to punish Monet.  See, the ticket Zoya has was originally Monet’s until she turned it down.  And, instead of being an adult and talking to her daughter, Camille takes Zoya in Monet’s place; knowing full well this would cause Monet to sneak into the event. Camille tells Zoya exactly what she is doing and, as soon as she sees Monet, gives Zoya a big hug; treating Zoya like a daughter in front of her actual daughter.  And I have so many thoughts about this scene and what happens next.

First off, let’s be clear that Camille is mentally and emotionally abusive toward her daughter. We’ve seen more then enough evidence before this episode, but this....No kind of stable parent would create this as a punishment for their child, especially over turning down a ticket.  At least, my mother wouldn’t have.  Of course, my mother respected me enough as a human being at that age that she would have asked me if I wanted to go.  But it’s very clear that Camille wants to browbeat her daughter into whatever she wants Monet to be, then gets pissed off at Monet when it doesn’t go to plan (as if Monet didn’t learn a lot of her shitty behavior from her mother).

I will also say that this part of the plot should have gone on for more then one episode, especially considering Monet’s response.  Monet knows why her mother is doing this, she even tells Zoya beforehand.  What would have been a surprise to Monet is if Camille kept using Zoya as this “surrogate daughter” even after the event.  Like, instead of even inviting Monet to things, she’d invite Zoya. Maybe even does a few “mother/daughter” activities with Zoya.  If that had happened then maybe, maybe I could see Monet being desperate enough to get rid of Zoya by any means necessary that she sends that post into Gossip Girl.

And let’s talk about that post.  To be clear, it doesn’t matter if it happened like it did in the show or the way I suggested; Monet would always be in the wrong.  Not only is she slut shaming Zoya; she is one of the few people that knows the tape was not consensual.  So, I don’t have a problem with GG calling her out for this behavior.  That being said, I do feel slightly for Monet that the whole story isn’t out there.  That it seems like she randomly shamed Zoya out of the blue.  Again, not saying she shouldn’t have been called out but….

Well, it’s kind of been the message of this season starting with Mike.  There’s no point in going after the little stuff, if the big stuff that’s causing this is being ignored.  In the case of Monet, we’ve seen her called out several times in this season for her behavior; which she should be.  However, what we have not seen is anyone calling out Camille De Haan’s treatment of her daughter.  If Camille was removed from her daughter’s life, or if someone where able to show Monet how much she has been abused by her mother, I wonder how much of Monet would change.  And maybe if GG would out Camille’s behavior….

But I am also wondering where this will go between Zoya and Monet.   Zoya’s face, when she saw the GG message, was a mix of feelings.  There was anger, sure, but I feel like there was almost a sense of pity.  Like, if I were Zoya I would probably be angry that Monet put that out there; but I would probably be more angry at Camille as it was clear this was an act of desperation on Monet’s part to get her mother’s approval.

As for Julien and Audrey, I’m going to skip the recap and deal with their behaviors.  So, there are several things that caused Audrey to tell Julien to stay away from her.  And let’s be clear, this isn’t an issue where one person is right and one is wrong. Also, there are outside factors that have to be taken into account.

Audrey is right that Julien puts herself in places that she shouldn’t.  Now I disagree that she does it because she wants attention.  Or rather, I think Julien does it because she wants to help; but she doesn’t know how to help without getting personally involved, which ends up putting her at the center of attention.  Julien also doesn’t seem to understand is that, sometimes, the best way to help is not to do anything at all.  For instance, when Audrey became angry with Julien over the fake emails (and the lies Julien did tell to GG), Luna advised Julien to just give Audrey space and that Audrey would come around.  Instead, Julien tried to be proactive and agreed to put Jessica on “Stop the Story” (not sure why she thought that would work, but still).  And, in the end, it did make everything worse as Jessica was able to create a fake video making it look like Julien was covering for Kiki.  If Julien would have listened to Luna’s advice, that video wouldn’t have been made. 

Also, Julien was so worried about what Audrey felt about Julien in that moment, she didn’t consider what Audrey was going through.  Audrey was dealing with her father’s sudden engagement and afraid that everything going on, especially if it didn’t go well, would be a setback to her mother’s health.  Now, did Audrey unfairly accuse Julien of some things during this episode?  Yes, which we will get to in a moment.  But it wouldn’t have hurt Julien to, again, take a step back; let Audrey deal with her mother and her father; and then, in a quieter moment, discuss with Audrey about how Julien felt that Audrey just believed that GG was telling the truth.  

As for Audrey, yes it should be taken into account everything that she was going through in that moment.  That is a lot for a teenager to deal with.  Still, that doesn’t mean that, at some point, someone shouldn’t point out to her that her behavior wasn’t exactly acceptable either.  First off, Audrey talks about how Julien only considers herself, but the same can be said about Audrey. Let’s go to the breakfast with her dad and the way Audrey spoke to Julien.  Yes, maybe Julien should have toned it down a bit, but she didn’t really start saying anything until Audrey’s dad kept bringing up Julien’s personal life; something Julien was clearly uncomfortable about.  Julien may have been there for Audrey; but that doesn’t mean that Julien should have been subject to this and Audrey really should have tried to shut that line of conversation down.    

Second, Audrey was totally out of line about the emails (just the emails, not about what Julien sent to GG).  Julien is right that they have been friends long enough for Audrey to know that Julien wouldn’t have done such a thing.  Also, common sense should have told  Audrey that it was weird GG just so happened to get that email just when her father and Jessica showed up.  Again, some allowance for what Audrey was going through, but she does need to own the fact that she was out of line in this moment.

Third, the dress reveal was not Julien’s fault.  And I’m not talking about how the dress was revealed (that’s on both girls), I’m talking about the fact that Jessica straight up told Kiki that she was able to steal her dress ideas because she was able to get into Kiki’s accounts.  In other words, even if Julien hadn’t done the video with Jessica; Jessica still could of shown up in a dress that Kiki was going to show and accuse Kiki of stealing her ideas (although the video makes her case stronger).  The fact is, Jessica and Audrey’s father were there to harm Kiki and Audrey needed to address them and their behavior; not pin it on Julien.  

Anyway, at the end of the episode, Julien and Obie leave the event together.  They go back to his apartment (which is his again) and reconnect. They both acknowledge that they did things that helped to end their relationship and, sure enough, they get back together.  Later, while Julien is asleep, Obie gets a text from GG.  GG says that she’s ready to work with Obie.  Obie agrees but only on the condition that it stays between them.

[torchwood-99]

Definitely agree on the differences with movie!Theoden and book!Theoden. Movie!Theoden leaves no doubt, he was top tier dad.

Book!Theoden is so tricky because on the one hand the narrative treats him like a superb father, but then there are these moments where it's like "is he though?". His lack of (verbalised) response to Theodred's death, his infamous "last of that house comment".

The first perhaps can be explained as Theodred's death being too painful for him to even dwell on, but if that was so, Tolkien should have eluded to that. Just a line to hint at Theoden's pain. So it's either a weakness in Tolkien as a writer, or Theoden as a father.

Eowyn's relationship with Theoden I have dwelled on so many times, because so many differing versions can be equally credible. Eowyn adored Theoden, but I can't help but think of another royal lady who adored her dad, despite him not being all that great.

Elizabeth the First idolised Henry VIII, but he wasn't exactly dad of the year. But he was charismatic, her father, and her king. Not only did those traits alone inspire devotion, she used her connection to him as a way to inspire loyalty and admiration for herself. For Eowyn, orphaned, in a dangerous world, but very proud and very bold, she could easily have formed an attachment for Theoden on the same grounds.

This would have explained why his dotage was so detrimental to her and gave Grima means to create a sense of loathing for herself and her house, because she wasn't prepared for a Theoden who was anything but a glorious, mighty king.

For these reasons, Eowyn's attachment to Theoden, and his reputation as a great father, could easily have been formed not because of what Theoden did, but simple because of who he was.

There are a few of moments where I do see hints of Theoden being the father to Eowyn he is credited as. When he greets her at Dunharrow, when he tries to comfort her about Aragorn, their parting before riding for Pelennor, and when he speaks about her on his death. These moments show there isn't a complete.

Two Tower Theoden is a write off as far as being a dad is concerned, but he improves in Return of the King. Perhaps that's him coming out of his dotage and regaining his pride, perhaps that's Merry's influence, who looked on Theoden as a father and would have seen his fatherly traits, perhaps it's Tolkien growing into the character, or perhaps it Theoden becoming more sentimental before his death.

I do appreciate that on seeing Eowyn at Dunharrow, one of the first things he does is inquire after her. And later, when he says she seems to need comfort and tries to give it to her. Now Merry, a total stranger to Eowyn, can see she's miserable, so you'd hope Theoden would at least notice it as well. But for all the books are long, Tolkien's got a lot of characters and a lot of plot to get through, so the fact he gave any page time at all to Theoden trying to comfort Eowyn hopefully can be interpreted as being a signifier of their relationship.

Then there's the painful parting between them (even if it wasn't really a parting). It's barely focussed on, just a single line, but the fact that line's included, when Tolkien didn't intend to give it much focus, suggests he felt it important for us to know that they suffered being parted from each other.

Probably the one line where I really, truly felt a great deal of love from Theoden is when he wants to bid her farewell, and he talks about how she didn't want him to leave her, and how he will never see her again. That longing, combined with the fact we hear Theoden actually acknowledge Eowyn's own wishes, wishes opposed to his own, does suggest at a genuine love, and some genuine awareness of Eowyn as a person, not just his adjunct.

The most sympathetic interpretation I have of Theoden's "last of that house" comment is that Theoden sees "House" as being the "Royal House", the one that has responsibilities to the country, the public, royal part of the family. What the British royals today call "The Firm". Because ruling is so tied to military might, he doesn't immediately consider Eowyn as part of "the House".

However, the domestic side of their family, the intimate, familial side, Eowyn is very much a part of, and perhaps an integral part, even the heart of it. That Theoden has to live so much of his life in public service, Eowyn's role in the domestic sphere might have been something he held very dear, and took great solace in.

This is problematic in itself, because it sticks Eowyn in a domestic role we know she really chafes at, denies her full use of her potential, and puts her in a vulnerable spot for Grima to prey on, but it allows for Eowyn to have some real importance and value to Theoden, which doesn't contradict the "last of that house line".

While this is harmful for Eowyn as a young woman, who wants to venture out and take her place in the world, but it does hopefully mean as a child she was a part of a family unit, and received a fair bit of care and affection.

Going through Theoden's scenes, the scenes where we see him interact with Eowyn, or the one scene he's in a "domestic" setting, that dinner at Dunharrow, he does seem gentle and concerned, and aware of Eowyn's pain. He's also a bit paternalistic.

'Hail, Lord of the Mark!' she cried. 'My heart is glad at your returning.' 'And you, Eowyn,' said Theoden, 'is all well with you?' 'All is well,' she answered; yet it seemed to Merry that her voice belied her, and he would have thought that she had been weeping..... 'So Aragorn has come then,' said Eomer. 'Is he still here?' 'No, he is gone,' said Eowyn turning away and looking at the mountains dark against the East and South. 'Whither did he go?' asked Eomer. 'I do not know,' she answered. 'He came at night, and rode away yestermorn, ere the Sun had climbed over the mountain-tops. He is gone.' 'You are grieved, daughter,' said Theoden. 'What has happened? Tell me, did he speak of that road?' He pointed away along the darkening lines of stones towards the Dwimorberg. 'Of the Paths of the Dead?' 'Yes, lord,' said Eowyn. 'And he has passed into the shadows from which none have returned. I could not dissuade him. He is gone.'

The way he points, and says "that road", it almost feels like when one is questioning a child, and they need to make it clear for the child what's being asked of them. Now this could also be a sign of Theoden needing absolute confirmation, but it also perhaps indicates Theoden seeing Eowyn in a somewhat juvenile light, a lens that women were often looked through in patriarchal society's.

However, at the same time, from the first he is asking after hers on personal terms, and seems concerned about her state of mind and wellbeing. Later on, during the dinner scene, we see him trying to offer Eowyn comfort.

'Maybe he was called,' said Theoden, 'and my heart tells me that I shall not see him again. Yet he is a kingly man of high destiny. And take comfort in this, daughter, since comfort you seem to need in your grief for this guest.

So throughout this chapter, Theoden is repeatedly showing concern and affection for Eowyn.

As a result, I'm leaning towards the "Theoden drew a distinction between being of "his house" and being of "his family" interpretation. Eowyn is very much part of his family, perhaps even the heart of it, being the one most involved in the domestic setting, but he needs reminding that she is also a part of his house, that she is skilled and brave and respected, and even after she is put into a position of authority in Dunharrow, he still sees her in a paternalistic light.

Bringing this back around to his role in their childhoods, this does suggest he was an affectionate and caring presence in her life. Perhaps that fact she belonged (in his view) in the domestic sphere would have even allowed him to be more "fatherly", or more indulgent in the time they spent together.

In the inner part of the pavilion was a small space, curtained off with broidered hangings, and strewn with skins: and there at a small table sat Theoden with Eomer and Eowyn, and Dunhere, lord of Harrowdale. Merry stood beside the king's stool and waited on him till presently the old man, coming out of deep thought, turned to him and smiled.

This scene is very domestic, and feels quite intimate. Curtained off, hangings and skin, a small table, just the family and their host, it feels warm and homely. That he stops Merry from serving him and invites him to sit, thus making the scene all the more informal. As a result, while Theoden's duties probably filled a lot of his time, I think he valued his family time, and his time in the domestic sphere. As a result, this hopefully translated to Eowyn having regular time with Theoden in her childhood.

If Eowyn, Theoden placed firmly in the domestic sphere, and saw her first and foremost as a child, his child, and therefore was on hand to offer her affection and comfort, perhaps it was the opposite with Theodred. Theodred was his son and his heir, Theoden had a duty to see him raised to become king. As a result, before he saw Theodred as his child, he saw him primarily as the future king. He couldn't be lax with him or indulgent with him as he might have been with his other children, he was raising the future Lord of the Mark.

Conceivably, this could have driven a wedge between them. Also, there is a large age gap between Theodred and his cousins, and during Theodred's childhood, Theoden would have been dealing with the loss of his wife. As a result, the father Theoden was to Theodred, wasn't necessarily the father he was to Eomer and Eowyn.

If Theoden placed too much emphasis on Theodred being a future ruler and not a child, and too much emphasis on Eowyn being his child and not a potential future leader, then perhaps between the three of them, Eomer lucked out and got the best of both worlds. Throughout the book we see Theoden address Eomer with respect as a Marshall, and affection as a son.

We know Tolkien used the tradition of "sister-sons" being a particularly important familial bond, and as Eomer is neither the future heir (nor Theoden's supplanter) nor a girl, he is raised with a view towards his future role, reared to fulfil his potential, with Theoden as an active example of what he should strive for, therefore involved in Eomer's life as a mentor and family member, unlike Eowyn, whose mentorship Theoden would largely leave to others, but also with a greater degree of affection of intimacy than was allowed to Theodred.

So yeah, to conclude, I think Theoden actively taught and mentored Theodred as a future ruler, but didn't give him much time just as a father he could be on easy terms with, was affectionate to Eowyn as a father, but neglected her training and mentorship to others, but struck a pretty decent middle ground with Eomer, so much as his duties as king allowed him.

How hands on a parent do you think Theoden was with the kids? I know Eomer and Eowyn talked of how he was a father to them, but how much "fathering" was a kingly father meant to do, especially for a girl? Probably he was more hands on with Theodred and Eomer, preparing them for their future roles, but was he closely involved in Eowyn's life, overseeing her education and care, or was he someone who came in and made a fuss of her now and then? How much did being King overrule being Dad?

I should probably take a beat and think on this one a bit more before I shoot my mouth off and say something that I will want to change later, but I’ve got a house full of chaotic houseguests and I’m hiding from them in my closet for a moment’s peace so let’s just throw caution to the wind and go for it!

My answer here depends strongly on whether we’re talking Movie Théoden or Book Théoden. I think Movie Théoden was an incredibly soft, squishy father who was active and involved in parenthood despite being king. He clearly realllly loved his kids, and they adored him back. That goes without saying for Théodred, as Movie Théoden’s heartbreaking depiction of a father’s grief (in firm contradiction to Book Théoden) says plenty about how close they were, but it’s true for Éomer and especially Éowyn as well. The movie made some very affecting choices in showing little interactions between Éowyn and Théoden that make it clear that there is a deep, substantial bond there. The whole “I know your face” recurring theme between them is so obviously weighted with adoration, affection, and loyalty (thank you, Bernard Hill and Miranda Otto!) that I can only see it as coming from years of intense emotional connection between them. 

Book Théoden, on the other hand, feels much less cut and dry to me. Setting aside my well documented beef with how Tolkien showed Théoden handling Théodred’s death, we don’t get a lot of information about what kind of parent he was. All three of his kids clearly loved him and had strong loyalty to him, but how much of that was from true emotional bonding and how much of that was because, for each of them, Théoden was both their only parental option (you love what you’re given, and all that) and a monarch to whom loyalty would be felt just by virtue of his position? Can I believe that Book Théoden was an active, involved parent to all his kids when he once needed Hama to remind him that Éowyn even existed (“I said not Éomer, and he is not the last [of the House of Eorl]”)? I struggle with that and think the answer is probably no.

Ultimately, in my own mind and for my own purposes, I like to think of him somewhere down the middle between those two extremes. He was king, and kings are both very busy and supposed to project an air of power and authority that doesn’t always mesh well with being a soft, squishy dad. I think he didn’t see a ton of any of the kids when they were small because he was so often dealing with his duties. He left decisions about their day-to-day care, upbringing, education, etc. to trusted staff/advisors or other family members (Théodwyn for Théodred before she married, or Théodred himself for Éomer and Éowyn once they came to Edoras). As Théodred and Éomer aged, he’d have spent more time with each of them because they’d have been stepping into their roles as important commanders and advisors, but that wouldn’t have necessarily been affectionate, bonding time. It was work. And Éowyn clearly didn’t get that time, since she didn’t have a similar role that would have her working alongside him (at least, not until she became his effective full-time nurse, but that wasn’t the REAL Théoden anyway). 

That being said, Théoden did like to spend his rare and limited downtime with his kids and didn’t favor the boys over Éowyn in his affection and interest even though he favored them in the bestowing of duties and titles. He was as supportive and loving to all of them as you’d expect for someone who engendered the deep devotion and respect that is evident in their feelings for him. He was as interested and engaged as he could be, given the demands on his time and the perhaps antiquated ideas he’d inherited from Thengel about how a father/king was supposed to act. (Thengel himself had a very shitty example of a father in Fengel, so it took a few generations for this family to get itself back on a more emotionally healthy track!) He was imperfect, but his kids adored him as though he was because they could see that he was trying and a kid wants to love their parent!

(Have I perhaps transferred some feelings about my own dad onto this situation? Maybe! He worked a LOT, so I can’t truthfully say that he was always deeply engaged in my daily upbringing. And he’s very reserved, so he’s not inclined to speak directly about his feelings. But when he was home, he was very intentional about spending time with me, showing an interest in what I was doing and thinking about, and trying to let his actions communicate his feelings. I consider us to have a very good relationship, I love him to bits and I would fight the Witch King for him. And all of that works for my idea of Théoden!)

Very curious to hear your take as well! No one else I know has thought as deeply about Éowyn as you have, so I have to imagine you’ve got really interesting opinions here! ❤️

[sugareey-makes-stuff]

I had already planned to give @crazybutgood a shout-out this month because she’s an amazing person, but it also happens to be her birthday today! CBG is way better at origami than I’ll ever be, but I thought I’d give it a shot in folding some things I still know and enjoy making. Stars bring hope, and (baby) turtles link back to the nature of creation and good luck. Fortune cookies are full of fun and surprises, and a paper crane is as the “bird of happiness” that symbolises good fortune and longevity (and it’s a nod to a certain blond ;D). These are all of the qualities I see in CBG, which has made her a key person within fandom who has brought so many others together. She’s a shining star because she knows exactly how to support creators and cheer them on. Her warmth and enthusiasm make things so much brighter, and I’m sure fandom folks can agree with me that because of CBG’s support, that’s why so many awesome works exist today. She’s that fandom enthusiast and reader who makes creators go, “OMG, okay! Maybe I should be doing more of what I’m doing?!” I first saw CBG’s origami from mutuals’ reblogs, and I was blown away. How cool is it that such a beautiful craft has been integrated within fandom? Her work is unique and thoughtful. And she’s obviously damn good at folding, and that’s what makes CBG stand out. She creates origami recs, gifts and shout-outs for people because she wants to not because she has to. Seriously, her origami advent from the hols was so cool, and her author appreciation project is just as awesome and heartfelt (and there’s more to come soon for that!). I have no idea how she does all of this, since these projects are labour intensive to set up. Nevertheless, all of her origami and recs always make me smile whenever they pop up on my feed. And, this is 1000000% why CBG is truly one of a kind. As an origami artist, she has collabed with so many creators to bring some stellar works to life. Make sure to check out more of her creations and recs! She’s also an alpha AND a beta, which is not an easy job. For those who have written fics, it’s easy to let imposter syndrome take over and for the writing plan to fall to pieces. But CBG is there offering her help, cheerleading and kindness so authors can produce the best fics they can be proud of. And the fact that she’s worked with many creators in that sense and has lifted each one up says everything you need to know. She’s obviously someone who is a dream to work with. Did I mention how nice CBG is? I got to co-mod @microficmay with her, and her energy is such a breath of fresh air. She truly wants to help in any way she can and she delivers. She was a godsend during a busy May, and she deserves 8324324324 kudos for keeping things going (thank you so much for being a gem for dealing with all the reblogs at weird hours). I don’t think we expected so many microfics to come in, but hey, that’s never a bad thing. More microfics to enjoy and read! If CBG wasn’t talented enough, she makes podfics AND she writes! I’m so glad she dipped her toes in writing! We both had no idea we would be paired up for the @gameofdrarry Owlery Exchange, but here we are! XD When reveals came out right after Microfic May ended, we laughed when we found out we had been writing to each other for two months without even knowing it. I haven’t written anything for Drarry in many years, so receiving letters from CBG’s Draco and responding back as Harry was really fun. She has been a great person to collab with, and I’m so glad we hit things off (as Harry and Draco and as co-writers)! Our fic, I Just Want You to Know is currently posting up letters from now until the end of the month. Feel free to check it out and follow along for the latest updates! Here are my fav CBG fics too: 🌟 >>> Language of Love (Drarry, T, 864) Summary: “Sometimes, I wish you could understand the things I want to say to you, about you, in Hindi or Urdu.” AHHH! My heart ! <333 This is so tender and gorgeous, and I totally get this. Native languages in fics are something I absolutely adore because the words are personal. And I love how Harry is willing to teach Draco some words he knows to show that he cares. This fic shows so much in so few words! 🌟 >>> Heart on Your Sleeve (Drarry, T, 5.1k + origami) Summary: Draco’s finally returned to England after fleeing to France when he was turned into a vampire. Pansy and Blaise try to drag Draco's moping ass out of Malfoy Manor, but he’s still reluctant while doing so. Until he stumbles upon Potter’s cafe. This is soooo cute! Coffee shop AU + Vampire!Draco was something I didn’t know I needed until I read this fic. The coffee puns, the flirting, the meddling friends and the origami that goes with each part makes this fluffy fic worth the read! If you’re also looking for classic dramatic!Draco, and general banter, give this a shot! 🌟 >>> Green Heart (Drarry, G, 899 + origami) Summary: Seeing Draco’s dexterity with his hands, Draco’s father lets him pursue various Arts for him to develop his skills, including origami. Ensuring Draco strives to practice and excel, his father provides him with an endless supply of ordinary and magical papers. One special type changes colour depending on one’s mood when touched, making for an interesting folding process. A curious Draco tries it out. OKAY, this fic is precious AND clever, because Draco making origami and using it as his outlet for his worries is pretty amazing here. There’s such a beautiful narration of his years at Hogwarts, how they tie back to canon events and how he’s feeling about everything. I don’t even know what else to say, other than the execution of this was so well thought out and how cool it is that we can actually see “his” creations. Find more of CBG’s work on AO3, and give her some love for her fandom contributions! CBG, thank you so much for what you do for fandom creators. You have such a way of making each day so much better for all of us. We love you, and keeping being awesome!

[a-lil-perspective]

70 Encouragements/Tips For The Writer:

A/N: Rules don’t exist. These are real and personal and stem from a deteriorating, exhausted Writer who is here to tell you (and herself) that you are amazing and keep going. I hope you find some encouragement within.

Your mental health comes first and foremost.

Indulge and embrace your creative writing pieces when they come (and when they don’t). Especially when they don’t.

Suffering from Writer’s Block or fluctuating hyperfixation? Me too. So is your favorite author. Welcome to the Writer’s Block Party (all my uwus if you see the pun).

Did you spend five hours on this one segment, forget the last time you ate, develop chapped lips, dry eyes, and a stiff back (time to get up and move), bang your head on the wall, laugh, cry, fidget, take your ADHD meds, deviate to watch YouTube, have an epiphany, curse in frustration and wonder why the hell you do this to yourself? Congratulations, you’re a Writer.

Embrace all the not-so-glamorous sides of writing, and accept the fact they’re going to happen time over again.

When you say “just one more line” and it’s 2:00 AM, I’ll be here to remind you to “go to sleep” (because I’m also depriving myself lol).

Actually, sleeping helps your mind feel refreshed, and it’s good for your health. If you’re struggling with a particular segment, one of the best things you can do is just put a cap on it for the time being, put in a placeholder, and get some shut eye. I know you don’t want to. But you will feel so much better and have more clarity and energy to continue when you wake. Trust me.

More often than not, those words you “just didn’t write down fast enough and now forgot” end up revealing themselves to you later in a much more profound way. Give the words time to get ready. They’re just spiffing up before coming to visit. :)

Be proud of yourself and your prose. Writing is an amazing part of who you are.

That trope has been written 1000 times before? Make it 1001.

You’ve already written this scenario? Write it again.

You’ve just written a single sentence. Now sit back for moment and think: you just wrote something brand new, never before seen. Nobody out there will ever write that sentence or formulate those thoughts the exact same way. You are a unique, mind-blowing, awe-inspiring human being.

Bask in the excitement that comes with a completed piece. Reflect on what you learned throughout and celebrate the little victories.

Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback, but also understand that you might not always get it, and that is OK.

Please re-read your work. Be gentle with yourself. You had to write that very first piece to get to where you are now. Love the process.

Your personal writing success is not based off of kudos or likes or reblogs.

There is no right or wrong way to write.

There is no such thing as “good” writing.

Improvement is becoming of everyone so get comfy, strap in. The journey of a Writer is a lifelong one. Here’s to many more works ahead.

Don’t mourn the words you did or didn’t write. Celebrate the ones you will.

One day, you’ll read a piece that will blow you away—and it will be yours.

There is nothing “shameful” about reblogging your own writing works.

I promise you’ll find your “wow” piece—either in something you’ve already written, or something yet to come.

Baby. Please don’t write out of spite. You’re better than that.

You are just as valid/deserving as the next Writer. And you do belong.

If you feel sad/unworthy when sharing your works or interacting with others’, get to the root of why. Writing should be fun, rewarding, and relaxing. Not shameful, embarrassing, or a chore.

Writing (fanfiction, specifically) is labeled as “transformative works”. Self-explanatory, right? However, if you notice the transformative part begin to have a personal effect on you—a negative one—it’s time to take a step back.

Right now, I can name a single quality you possess: diligence. How do I know? Because you’re a Writer, and the two go hand-in-hand.

Got that single scene in your head but you haven’t completed or even began all the chapters preceding? Bruh. Jot that down right now. You don’t need 20k words beforehand.

Embrace your writing mood swings. The stray, sweet and condensed blurbie. The ideal, bridging drabble. The solid, substantial oneshot. The hefty, elaborate 10k word chapter. Appreciate everything in-between, and that you are capable of all of it.

Nobody remembers that extra word or typo or stray speech mark back all the way back in chapter 3. Tell the little monster in your head to go to hell.

You’re not a weirdo for making facial expressions and mulling through your dialogue aloud. You. Are. A. Writer.

It’s OK if the Readers can’t always see exactly what you envisioned in your head, or the full extent of the picture you painted. We all see colors differently.

Don’t be afraid to experiment with your writing.

In fact, challenge yourself to dabble into a new plot/trope/concept every day, even if only for a few minutes. You may discover you love writing it.

There’s no rush to finish/begin any written work. If you take your time, you will make your mark. You’re not falling behind or running late. Slow down and wait for it. :)

Three cheers for hiatus.

Listen to your body and mind, know your limits and when it’s time to take a break.

Actually take a break. :)

If you feel like you’re falling stagnant in creativity, looking to/revisiting other forms of creative media can help encourage the flow.

Ask for encouragement, and be at peace with asking.

Take shelter in fellow writers. Uplift each other always.

You are/will be someone’s favorite author. :)

You don’t have anything to prove. You have something to share.

Someone is thinking about your work right now.

Someone started a series because they drew inspiration from you.

Personal writing style can reflect a lot on the state of one’s mental health. Try to always be attentive to that of your own.

Self-validation must be cultivated early on or nothing will ever work.

Freestyle every once in a while. Write a snippet, timed, and go—without editing. Write the first thing that comes to mind and go from there. Do it all the way through the set time. When it stops, you’ll find yourself unable to. 3,800 words here we come. :)

Not everything needs an outline. :)

It is completely normal to write your story out of order.

Create guidelines for yourself. If they aren’t working, toss ‘em.

Word vomiting can help you feel better (it’s just how it sounds). By clearing all those jumbled thoughts and scattered concepts, you achieve a clearer objective. Try it sometime.

A rough draft is supposed to be rough.

Sometimes the words come to you quicker than others. Be patient. That is merely the construct of a Writer’s mind. You’re a beautiful enigma.

A sentence written is a story progressing.

Writing is an endurance sport. You must pace yourself and exercise it daily.

You are still a Writer even when the words aren’t on the actual page.

You’re not obligated to a writing/posting schedule.

As you progress in your journey and gain more awareness, don’t sacrifice your style. Those beginning works are what define you. Hold onto them and don’t ever let them go.

You’re the only one cringing—

Remember that sometimes words are elusive and you don’t always have control over them, and that is OK. Sometimes they write themselves. Sometimes your characters come to life and break out into dance across your page. Dance with them. You can wrangle them back when the music stops. :)

There is nothing condemning or embarrassing about asking for a beta. Allow someone to help carry the load.

Allow people to cheer you on—even if they don’t read your work.

It’s OK if your writing style isn’t someone else’s preference.

Be your biggest cheerleader. Sometimes you are all you have.

You don’t need anyone’s approval except your own.

You love that trope/concept/story you just wrote? That’s all that matters. The end.

You will never write good. You will write you. And that is good.

Above all else: remember to write for you.🤍