#so many people have written me to ask me if my family was safe and that they were thinking of my country

[wadesprincessboy]

Again with the "hi im also a Jew in Aotearoa" reblog, ive also noticed a huge rise in antisemitism. Since oct 7 i have felt increasingly unsafe existing as a Jewish person. I also happen to live in an area that is very largely leftist (or at least my circles in the area are) and i honestly feel most unsafe because of the leftists. Ive seen posters that are very clearly antisemitic everywhere, and the ones i saw calling for the freeing of hostages were crossed out and torn down. Ive shared this before but a pride event put in their kaupapa that theyre anti-zionist and my mum wore a hebrew shirt to the event (she went despite the anti-zionist stuff because its pride and she wanted to go) that said pride in rainbow letters. She was going to wear it regardless of the events kaupapa, and it was clearly a pride shirt, but she got disgusted looks from a lot of people.

Ive been using my dads last name out of concern for my safety due to having a very Jewish last name from my mum. I hate my dads name and it makes me feel sick to use it, but its for my safety. I always use my chosen name because its English, and when people ask about my birth name, which is Hebrew, and I tell them its Hebrew they again give disgusted looks. Prior to Oct 7 people would be interested in the story of my mum growing up in Jerusalem and how important being Jewish is to us, but now I just say the name was chosen because of the singer. I dont want to say the truth because im scared ill get hurt.

My mother overshares a lot and cant resist telling people about how she grew up in Israel and how important to her it is to go back some day, and every time she says it I prepare for the worst. The worst that's happened is again, the look, but im always scared.

All the leftists i know love hamas, some are celebrating the Amsterdam pogrom, they all dropped me for saying Jewish people have a right to exist in Israel. Not even saying Im a zionist, just saying Jews are indigenous and have rights. They dropped me. They put out "bewares" on socials.

I go to a yearly drama camp and so many people from there that i considered friends did things like that and i almost didnt apply to go back next year despite how much i love it. When i go back i will be shutting my mouth and keeping my head down because i do not want to ruin the experience.

It is unsafe to be Jewish here. Good friends have been cruel. Strangers are terrifying. I wont ever tell people Im Jewish if they dont already know because im so worried they will hate me.

I wanted to go to university, but the university i want to go to doesnt seem all that safe for me as a Jew anymore.

Ive lost countless friends since Oct 7.

To answer the askers question of "is anyone standing up for your community", no. Theyre doing the opposite. Heck even our own community turns on us (see: the book jewish not zionist, written by a member of my local Jewish community, who says Jews arent oppressed in Aotearoa). I think I know one or two people who arent Jewish who are standing up for us and standing with us at this time.

Also, in my town theres a big event in the city for Hannukah each year. I dont know if it happened last year, because i wasnt in town, but im worried about it this year. Its an event that i love so much. One of the few chances to meet other Jewish people in the area that dont go to the same synagogue. There is always a large police presence around, and i fear this year it will be worse. Hell im willing to bet there will be protests about it! Im worried it wont even happen. I hope it does and i pray we will all be safe, because its such a great event that i look forward to all year.

I would invite my best friend to come along as its a tradition for my family that we bring friends to share our culture with them, but my best friend is so loudly anti-zionist that if she agreed to come (i doubt she would) she would definitely cause issues. I imagine if theres protests shell be on that side.

It fucking sucks to be Jewish right now. Honestly it always has, ive never felt safe as a Jewish person in Aotearoa, but its so much worse now. We are lucky compared to other places, but its still not good.

Sorry for the long rant of a reblog btw, OP. Kinda just wanted to vent my experience since I dont think theres many other Jewish people from Aotearoa on this hellsite.

how bad is it to be jewish in NZ right now? is anyone standing up for your community? where i am antisemitism has gotten pretty bad and it feels like almost no one other than jews or ppl who are part jewish or married to jews is calling it out.

Per data from the community security group, post oct 7th to March, antisemitism increased 600%.

And this is only reported incidents.

There are not really anyone besides jews standing up for us.

The holocaust centre is getting involved with antisemitism at a university just for the sheer fucking amount of it. Leftist circles are practically rife with it.

I'd consider my ex friends to be your average leftist, like not far left but almost there. And they're super antisemitic. Celebrating the Amsterdam pogrom, calling hamas a resistance group, supporting the houthi etc.

The only support I've seen outside of jewish circles is a coworker tearing down antisemitic pro Palestine posters near our office. Like these weren't regular posters, they were antisemitic instead of being just pro Palestine

[rapha-reads]

I finished my thesis and submitted it.

My country has lived a catastrophic event and the tragedies are piling up.

I still haven't found a flat and staying up in a hostel.

Some countries are burning, others are flooding, others are shaking.

I haven't had a real meal in two weeks, living off sandwiches and take out because I don't have access to a kitchen.

The inequalities between rich and poor, well-off and miserable are getting bigger and bigger.

I've had little sleep and little stability in weeks or even months.

Solidarity and kindness must prevail. It must.

[roosterforme]

The Younger Kind Part 53 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley is surprised by what Maverick has to tell him, and he's not sure how to convey his mixed feelings to you. The urge to keep everything inside is strong, but you catch on right away and shut it down. In the end, he's not sure he has made the right decision.

Warnings: Swearing, angst, fluff, pregnancy topics, and age gap (18+)

Length: 4500 words

Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader

Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.

There was something a bit ominous about the way Maverick said, "Rooster. We need to talk." 

Bradley followed him toward the tower immediately, getting more annoyed by the second. This was supposed to be an exciting day. You and Bradley had started telling people you were engaged. It was a shame that Casey was among the first to find out, but Bradley had expected Maverick of all people to remember his plans for the weekend. 

But Bradley didn't say a word until they were inside the tower in private. "She said yes, by the way," he told his godfather blandly. "I proposed after the air show."

Maverick grinned and pulled him in for a tight hug that Bradley barely returned. "That's wonderful. I was just about to ask, but I knew she would say yes." He slapped him on the back before releasing him. "So it's safe to tell Penny now?"

Bradley rolled his eyes and couldn't help but smile. "Yeah. It's safe. She can't ruin anything at this point."

Then Maverick's smile started to fade, and Bradley remembered exactly why he had followed him here to begin with. "We really do need to talk, Bradley, and I'm not sure you're going to want to hear this right now."

Bradley braced his hand on the wall next to him and asked, "Are you deploying me?"

"Not exactly," he replied as if he was trying to choose his words very carefully. 

But Bradley was so used to being spoiled right now, he didn't have the patience for this. He had you and Noah and now a baby and a wedding, too. "Just spit it out, Mav. Please."

He glanced around and cleared his throat, and Bradley's nerves just got worse when he finally spoke. "Your name came up behind closed doors. The admirals have you listed as a top selection for a training mission."

"What kind of training?" Bradley asked, wishing he would just get on with it.

Maverick's voice dropped lower as he said, "Sixth-generation fighters. Nothing that's available in the U.S. You'd be one of the first to fly them for tactical testing."

"You're joking," Bradley rasped, his body frozen as Maverick shook his head. 

"It's no joke. It's also optional. Not your traditional deployment. Nobody is going to force you to go this time. I can't supply you with many more details unless you give your verbal and written agreement to participate, but I can say that this would go a long way toward career advancement."

"Shit." 

You were pregnant. This was not the best time to leave for optional training. But six-generation technology was something he might never get to experience during his career unless he partook in this. It would be years, maybe even a decade, before Naval aviators were flying these jets off of carriers for real missions. He knew exactly what this meant. He could be among the very first to take them up in the air, and his flight details could help shape the way these jets were eventually distributed to the United States and used by the military. "Jesus, Mav."

He nodded in response. "I know the timing isn't ideal for you and your family, but it's something you should seriously consider. Go home and talk to your fiancée about it, and if you decide you want to be included in the meeting on Thursday, let me know."

"Right," Bradley muttered. "Am I dismissed?"

"Yeah. Head home. I'll see you tomorrow."

Bradley should have gone directly home and waited for you and Noah to arrive, but instead he took his time in the locker room. He tried to imagine what it would be like to leave you for a few weeks or months while you were pregnant, but it made him feel too uncomfortable. He could turn the opportunity down without even mentioning it to you. That actually sounded like a pretty good plan. 

While he showered and got changed, he felt guilty in a different way. He didn't want to hide this from you even though all he wanted to do was protect you. And part of him really wanted to fly these prototype jets. If he did, he could leave a lasting impression on the future of Naval aviation even after he was done spending time in the cockpit.

"Fuck," he muttered as he packed all of his things up for the day and headed outside to his Bronco. It was actually pretty late now, and there was no doubt you were at home with Noah, probably making dinner. But Bradley took a detour to the coffee shop first, and then he stood there like an idiot for a few seconds, because he wasn't sure if you were still supposed to have caffeine or not. 

He ended up ordering the decaf version of your favorite drink. Then he asked the barista to borrow a sharpie, and he wrote something new on the cup this time. He stuffed a few dollars into the tip jar and headed home, still completely undecided about what he wanted to do.

---------------------------

Noah was his usual adorable self, and you wanted to be having a good day, but you were exhausted from work and Casey. Dinner was in the oven, and you were taking the time to carefully cut apples into peanut butter snails for Noah to have as his dessert, but Bradley wasn't even home yet. 

You were looking forward to getting changed out of your wrinkled scrubs and taking a long shower, which would be much easier to do if he were here. Everything was easier with him around. You started planning a trip to Disneyland on your phone while dinner cooked, but you wanted to run it past him before you booked anything. You smiled softly, knowing Bradley would tell you to put it on your princess card before thanking you for planning the next family vacation. But you had your first doctor's appointment coming up and thought it was better to go to Disneyland after that. But October was looking promising.

When you heard the front door open, and Skittles scampered into the living room, you felt your body sag against the counter in relief. "Daddy's home," you told Noah, and he pushed his new dinosaur coloring book aside and followed after Skittles. You brought up the rear, but that just meant that you'd get the longest hug from Bradley when it was your turn. 

"Come here, Mrs. Bradshaw," he rasped after he set Noah and Skittles down, and you were tucked in his embrace with your nose buried against him immediately. It was obvious that he was tired and hungry, but he didn't rush anything. He just held you like his life depended on it. Soft kisses teased along your forehead and temple as he whispered, "I brought you some coffee."

Then you noticed the cup he had set down on the TV stand, and you rubbed your cheek against his chest as you read it. "That's adorable, Daddy." He had scrawled Princess +1 on the cup this time, and it made your face feel warm. "But I think I need to cut back on my caffeine consumption."

"It's decaf, Princess" he whispered, his lips and mustache brushing the shell of your ear. 

The soft moan that left your lips had him chuckling as you said, "The baby and I thank you." Then you ditched his arms in favor of the coffee cup. When the kitchen timer went off, you kept your eyes on Bradley as you walked backwards away from him. "After Noah goes to bed, I want to talk about something important. It rhymes with Tisneyland. I thought we could go next month. After I talk to my doctor, of course."

He winced for a split second, but it would have been impossible to miss. Okay. You thought he made it clear he wanted to go on another family trip. Maybe he changed his mind. "Shit," he whispered, swallowing hard. "We can... we can go. No problem. Whenever you want."

The timer was still buzzing, otherwise you would have pressed the issue. Without another word you turned toward the kitchen and grabbed the oven mitts so you could get dinner on the table. But Bradley was acting strange. He even seemed more subdued with Noah which had you worried. 

"What happened at work?" you asked, sliding a plate of dinner in front of him. 

He shrugged. "Just a regular day. But I did tell Nat we're engaged." At least he smiled when he said that, and then he reached for you, looking up at you as you stood next to him. "Hey, I can't wait to go to Tisneyland with you."

You couldn't help but laugh, but you said, "We don't have to go in October. We can go next year or never. I just thought it was something you wanted to do."

"Book it," he said, squeezing your hip before dropping his hand. "I'll request a day off as soon as you book it after your appointment. We can take a long weekend."

Something was wrong, and you couldn't place it. But his eyes were clouded with doubt and your stomach soured so much, you could barely eat your own dinner. This didn't feel like the sweet man who agreed to go to daycare drop off with you this morning simply because you didn't want to go alone. When you offered to get Noah ready for bed, he agreed without really paying any attention to your words. 

"Come here, Sweet Noah," you whispered after Bradley kissed him goodnight, clearly distracted. You got him into his pajamas and got his teeth brushed, and like usual, he was yawning before his head even hit the pillow. You started to read him the book about farm animals that you picked out a few months ago with Bradley, and even though he was sound asleep by page two, you finished reading it just to have a few extra minutes with him. 

Eventually you found Bradley sitting on the couch with Skittles on his lap. When you leaned against the doorway, he held his hand out to coax you forward. "You didn't tell me about your day," he said softly. 

"I tried to during dinner, but it's like you weren't even there," you bit back, not moving an inch. "What's wrong? You change your mind about getting married?" you asked, holding up your left hand and spinning the ring loose with your fingers. "Or about the baby?"

Now he was up off the couch in an instant, Skittles looking rather alarmed by his sudden movement. "Hey," Bradley snarled, pulling you against him with his left hand and using his right fingers to push your ring back into place. "Don't say that. It's never going to happen."

"Then what's wrong?" you asked, giving him no room to continue to be vague and weird with you. "Just tell me."

"You gonna keep that ring on?" he asked, and you saw a flash of everything you loved so much about him in his eyes.

You pressed up onto your toes and kissed him. "Yes," you whispered before kissing him again and again. "I'll keep it on. Just tell me what's wrong."

He pulled you toward the couch, and after he sat, you straddled his lap while Skittles curled up on the cushion next to you. "Nothing's wrong," he whispered, his big hands sliding down your hips to your thighs, stroking you through the thin fabric of your pants. He was staring at your name where it was embroidered on your scrub shirt instead of meeting your eyes. "Earlier today, Maverick told me about something... interesting."

"Go on," you whispered, raking your fingers through his soft hair. "I already know something's bothering you, so just say it, Daddy."

He nodded slightly and kissed your forearm before he finally met your gaze. "It sounds like there's a brand new fleet of aircrafts with technology updates that have never been flown by American pilots before. I'm on a short list of aviators who have been invited to train on these jets overseas, most likely in the hopes that the Navy will adopt these planes in the future."

You nibbled on your lip and considered his words. "So, it's kind of like a deployment?" you asked, still dragging your fingers through his hair as you scooted a little closer. 

"Sort of," he said softly. "But it's optional. And I'm going to tell Mav I don't want to go. I'll be here, okay? We can go to Disneyland next month."

You studied his handsome face, and while he looked more relaxed now that he told you what Maverick said, you knew that wasn't the end of it. You pieced it together in your mind and leaned the rest of the way to his lips. He accepted your kiss as he rubbed his hands slowly along your thighs. You hummed and let your forehead rest against his. 

Your voice was calm as you asked, "But you do want to go, don't you?"

He remained quiet, but he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you so your body was flush against his and your cheek was resting on his shoulder. You relaxed against the steady rise and fall of his chest and the soothing beating of his heart. 

When he finally spoke, his voice was gravelly and deep, and it made you shiver. "The last thing I want is to be away from you and Noah and the baby. I don't want you under the impression that those thoughts are on my mind, okay? That's not what this is."

"I believe you, Bradley," you whispered against his neck. "But this sounds like a big deal. You made the list? Over so many other people? They chose you to try something brand new?"

His voice was a little more forceful as he said, "I do not want to leave you alone right now. It wouldn't be fair."

You kissed your way up his neck until your lips found his earlobe, and you kissed him there, too. You inhaled the smell of his shampoo as you said, "I love you, and I want to support you as much as you support me. If you want to do this, then I think you should."

There was no denying that you felt safer and more loved when you were with Bradley than you ever had before. But this was his career, and it sounded like he had a chance to be part of something huge. 

"You're right, Baby. I do want to go."

You nodded as he held you. "Do you have any other details?"

"No. There's a meeting on Thursday that I can sit in on if I let Mav know I'm interested, but I doubt I'll get a ton of information short of a departure date and maybe a location unless I sign on for this thing."

You kissed his cheek and pulled away so you could look at his face. "Next time, just tell me what's on your mind instead of trying to make an important decision without me."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, reaching for your left hand and kissing your palm and the spot where the band of your engagement ring wrapped around your finger. "But next time, don't even pretend like you're taking this thing off."

"I won't."

--------------------------

Somehow Bradley made it all the way to the meeting on Thursday, his curiosity piqued. When he found out where the meeting was being held, he was even more surprised. 

"Come to Admiral Simpson's office promptly at one o'clock," Maverick told him, and Bradley silently thanked you for clearing things up with Cyclone the way you had. There was no way his name would have made it onto any list if you didn't send the man a glass of bourbon at Warlock's retirement party. 

"I'll be there," he promised. And if he was surprised by the location, he was even more surprised when he showed up to find Cyclone and Maverick waiting for him and him alone. 

"Sir?" Bradley asked, standing until he was given permission to sit. He knew better than to ask a single question about the training before he had some information to work with, but his brain was swirling nonstop. You and he stayed up last night making a list of things he needed to know before making a decision. For example, Bradley desperately wanted to fly these sixth-gen fighters, but he wasn't willing to be gone for months on end. Hell, you still hadn't seen your doctor yet. That appointment wasn't happening until Monday.

"Lieutenant Bradshaw," Cyclone said, pushing a folder toward Bradley as he sat down behind his desk. "We chose you for this training protocol. Only you. If you are unwilling, then we will regroup and try to select someone else. However, time is tight and details are going to be scarce unless you agree to participate. Do you understand?"

"I understand, Sir," he replied, and then Cyclone tapped his fingers on the folder before releasing it to Bradley. 

Maverick was standing near the window, and Bradley got the feeling that his godfather was proud of him. He still wasn't sure why he was the only one here, but as he opened the folder and skimmed the pages, many of his immediate questions were answered.

As soon as he saw it, he shook his head. "You want me to fly to Japan on Monday morning? Because if that's a hard set date, then my immediate answer is no." 

He closed the folder and started to hand it back to Cyclone who was sharing a look with Maverick. "And if we could push it to Tuesday?" he asked without taking the folder.

"I'm listening," Bradley replied, honestly wondering what he had that the other pilots didn't.

Maverick stepped away from the window. "Bradl- Lieutenant Bradshaw," he corrected right away. Bradley realized it was hard for both of them to separate their professional relationship from the personal one they shared, especially when they did things like take family vacations together. "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. You were chosen for your skill set and the way you prioritize communication. We don't want to have to select someone else, especially when we believe you'd be the best pilot available."

Cyclone cleared his throat and added, "Consider Tuesday morning your new departure time. Do you have an answer?"

Bradley blinked at him a few times, glanced down at the information in the folder, and then looked up again. "You need me to give you an answer right now? Sir?"

He nodded once and folded his hands. "Before you leave my office."

---------------------------

You were too tired to do anything after work except pick Noah up from preschool. Seriously, if Casey even tried to talk to you, it was going to be her funeral. But for once, luck was on your side, because she wasn't even there. You signed Noah out without incident and headed home to talk about this special training mission.  

Bradley must have learned his lesson from earlier this week. You couldn't believe he was about to make a decision without you like that, just to try to save you the stress. You could handle it. After your appointment on Monday, you could handle anything that came your way. 

When he got home shortly after you did, he told you immediately that he needed to talk to you. He kissed Noah on the top of his head and pulled you to the kitchen doorway, a frantic look on his face as he stroked your cheek with his fingers. "I'm going."

Your heart plummeted. He really did decide without talking to you about the details. You wanted him to go, but you also wanted to talk about the pros and cons with him first. But in the end, you really had no say here at all. "You are? I thought we were going to talk it through."

"We were," he whispered. "That was my intention, Princess. But they made me decide before I could leave Cyclone's office."

You made a concerned face. "Cyclone's office? How did everyone fit in there?"

Bradley shook his head, his cheeks a little ruddy from frustration or embarrassment, you weren't sure which. "They didn't, Princess. It was just me. I was the whole list of people."

"Oh," you gasped. It was hard for you to understand at times that he was at the top of his career, because he was just as devoted to his life at home. With you and Noah. "Where are you going? And when do you leave?"

"Japan," he rasped, his face full of guilt now. "And I leave on Tuesday morning."

The pounding of your heart was making you feel nauseous. "Tuesday?"

He nodded. "They originally wanted me to leave on Monday, and if that was the case, I was ready to turn it down, no further questions asked."

"You were?"

His eyes went wide. "I'm not missing the first appointment for something optional."

You nodded slowly, because that brought up your next question. You sensed he might be missing subsequent appointments. "When will you be back?"

He wrapped his hands around your hips and pulled you closer to him. "I have no idea."

Then you started to cry, and you felt like such an idiot. You wanted him to go.  You wanted him to have this experience and impact new pilots in the future, but you also thought you'd have a little more time before he left. "Just come back safely," you whispered while he let you cry in his arms.

--------------------------

Bradley noticed right away that you were a little distant. Maybe you needed a day or two to process everything, but in another day or two, he'd be packing and leaving. He thought he was doing what you wanted him to, but you cried yourself to sleep on Thursday. You were obviously exhausted and frankly kind of moody, and now he was kicking himself for agreeing to a training mission that had no disclosed ending date. 

"Fuck," he grunted on Saturday afternoon when he took Noah to the park so you could have some time to yourself. Pretty soon, you'd be on single, pregnant parent duty around the clock for probably weeks on end. Bradley's guilt was really prevalent now.

"Daddy?" Noah asked as he was being pushed on the swing. 

"Yeah, Bub?"

"Can I have a Halloween costume?"

"Of course," Bradley groaned, cradling his forehead in his hand. Halloween was still six weeks away, but he could already imagine the tears in his son's eyes if he wasn't home in time for trick-or-treating. Hell, he hadn't even explained to Noah that he was going away again yet. "You can pick something out with Mommy," he added, his voice harsh now.

Noah looked back at him over his shoulder and started to slow himself down. When he jumped out of the swing, he ran to Bradley who scooped him up. "Can we go home?" he asked. He wrapped his arms around Bradley's neck like he could tell he needed a hug. "I miss Mommy and Skittles."

Bradley kissed his son's cheek. "You know what? I miss them, too. Let's go home." He buckled Noah in and drove slowly. He should probably start packing tonight, but he was just dying to spend some time alone with you. The last thing he wanted was to return to a quiet house and a quiet fiancée right now. You and he were going to need to have another conversation about this, and he already felt like a jerk for wanting to have everything. 

When he pulled into the driveway as the sun was starting to set, you were in the front yard with Skittles on her leash. You were wearing one of your little floral dresses, and Bradley almost ran into your car as he looked at you. God, he was stupid for voluntarily agreeing to leave you. Once he was parked, you opened the back door and started unbuckling Noah and lifting him out like the most devoted mom in the world, and Bradley was about to lose his mind if he couldn't sort this out tonight.

"Hey, Daddy," you said softly as you turned, holding a very sleepy looking Noah against your shoulder. "Should we feed him dinner and get him in bed?"

"I think so," Bradley replied, eyeing you up and down, his gaze catching on your glossy lips. "You look gorgeous. Why are you all dressed up?"

You shrugged like it was nothing. "I just wanted to look cute for you."

His eyebrows shot up in response. "Don't you always?"

A soft smile found your lips as you started to head for the front door with Noah. Bradley followed you inside, and once Noah was eating leftovers, he pulled you into the hallway where he pushed you back against the wall. 

"Does this mean we can talk about some things tonight?" he asked, stroking your bottom lip before kissing you softly. 

You moaned gently into his mouth as his weight pressed against you. "Yes," you whispered. "Of course. We can talk about anything you want."

"You told me you wanted me to fly this mission," he said, and you nodded before you kissed the tip of his nose.

"I know. And I do. I just needed to process everything. The timeline just threw me off a little bit. And if I'm being honest, it's never not going to be scary when you leave."

"I'm coming back," he promised, knowing full well he only had so much control over that. "I'm coming back to my family as soon as I can."

This time when you nodded, you threw your arms around his neck and kissed him hard on the lips. "I know, Daddy," you whimpered between filthy kisses, rubbing yourself against him. He rutted you back into the wall, and you moaned his name as he cupped your ass. And that's when he felt it, firm against his fingertips compared to the softness of your body.

"Fuck," he grunted, easing your dress up inch by inch until he was touching the silicone. 

"Do you want me to put my crown on to match?" you asked sweetly as he spread you open wider with his hands. "I can be your going away present."

Bradley leaned closer until his lips were pressed to your ear. "I want you in bed with your crown on as soon as Noah's asleep. Then I'm going to fuck the absolutely shit out of you. And then after that, I'm going to make love to you until you're satisfied. And then we're going to talk about everything that's going to happen while I'm in Japan until we're both comfortable with all of it. And then we're going to start planning our wedding."

"Yes," you agreed. "That's exactly how I want to spend our evening."

----------------------------

Just a few more chapters left. Do you think he made a good decision? Leaving Princess right now? Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

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[comically-callous]

So I am totally in love with Regulus and I saw you were taking requests for him so I thought I would ask for an idea that has been on my mind for a bit.

So basically it’s grumpy x sunshine with Reggie and Fem!reader. Maybe there in the library and Reggie is listening to reader go over the books she's read like she rambling as Reggie just listen and occasionally comments you can add more if you like!!

If this makes you comfortable please feel free to ignore this request!

OMG YES. GUYS I FUCKING LOVE REGULUS BLACK.

Sorry. I'm normal.

Regulus black x Fem!Reader

A/n: I didn't wanna write about a book no one knew about, so I decided to play it safe and make reader like Romeo and Juliet. Also my requests are open (and I'm always happy to write about my babygirl, pookie bear, pathetic little meow meow, Regulus Black)

Regulus honestly didn't know how he got to this point. Y/n was never supposed to be anyone special to him. They'd been partnered up together for a Herbology project and as soon as it was over, he was supposed to never talk to her again.

But, of course, as always, things couldn't be that simple for him.

And now, here he was, studying with her almost everyday. Studying might not be the best word for it, a lot of the time it was just the two of them hanging out in the library together. But, he wasn't going to admit he enjoyed hanging out with Y/n. Just like how he wasn't going to admit that he'd developed feelings for her.

The two of them sat in the library like they did almost everyday. Y/n was rambling to him about a book she had to read for her history of magic class.

"I just don't understand why assigned reading is always so boring. That's the reason so many people don't like reading, I think. It's because they only read books that they're forced to read in school, and almost all of those books are boring, so they assume every book is boring, and then they hate reading."

Regulus was used to this. Y/n was always quite talkative. She could go on for hours about pretty much any subject. He didn't mind. He liked listening to her.

"The last time I remember actually enjoying a book I was forced to read for school was when I read Romeo and Juliet. But, a lot of people hated reading Romeo and Juliet, but I think that's just because it's written in old-time-y language, y'know?"

"What's Romeo and Juliet?" Regulus asked curiously.

Y/n paused at that. "Seriously?"

Regulus felt himself begin to blush. Was he supposed to know what that was? Did he sound dumb? "I mean, I know it's a book, but..." he shrugged.

"You've never heard of Romeo and Juliet."

He shook his head.

"How is that even possible?" She chuckled. "It's a classic! It's the classic. I thought-"

"Is it a muggle book?"

She paused at his question. "Well, yeah."

"That's why I've never heard of it. My mother doesn't let me read muggle books."

"Not even Romeo and Juliet?" Y/n shook her head. "That's insane."

"Yeah..." Regulus sighed. His mother was one of the reasons he couldn't admit he had feelings for Y/n. His mother would definitely not approve of Y/n. She wasn't the type of person that the Black family associated with. She was too bubbly, too kind, too accepting of others despite whatever differences they might have. Too happy.

"Anyways," Regulus shook the thoughts of his mother out of his head. "What's it about?"

Y/n smiled. "I can't believe I'm about to explain the plot of Romeo and Juliet to someone."

"Sorry..."

"No, no! I'm excited. It'll be fun." She said reassuringly. "Ok, first of all, it's not really a book. It's a play. But, you never get to just watch the play, you always have to read it in school." She explained. "It's a tragedy written by Shakespeare who's like, a super important guy who wrote a bunch of plays during the Renaissance."

Regulus nodded along as she spoke.

"His most well known play is Romeo and Juliet, which is a romantic tragedy about two starcrossed lovers."

"So..." He was curious now. "What happens in it?"

"Are you asking me to spoil it for you?"

"I guess."

"Romeo and Juliet both die at the end." She says. "Which technically isn't a spoiler, because at the very beginning of the play, there's a prologue where they tell you 'Hey, they both die in the end', but whatever."

Regulus didn't expect that. "And you... liked reading this?"

"Yeah." She shrugged.

"Why?"

"Well..." She thought about it for a moment. "I've always liked romance. And even though this one obviously doesn't have a happy ending, it's still a classic. And I like seeing all the different adaptations of it."

"Adaptations?"

"Oh!" She lit up. "That's another thing! Another reason it's so popular is because there are a bunch of different versions of the story. People make movie versions of it all the time, there's this really good musical, west side story that's based off of it." She gasped. "We should watch one together!"

He blushed at the thought. Watching a movie with her? Like a date? "We should?"

"Yeah! I mean, only if you want to. But, I think it'd be really fun!"

"So..." He looked away. "Tonight?"

"What?"

"I mean, do you want to watch it tonight?"

Y/n was a bit surprised he was so eager to do this. "Yeah. Yeah, sure." She smiled. "We can make popcorn, and get a bunch of blankets and pillows, make it a whole experience." She gathered her things from the table they were sitting at. "Does that sound good?"

Regulus nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "Sounds amazing."

"Great." She gave him a quick hug. "I'll see you tonight."

Maybe her eyes were playing tricks on her, but she could've sworn she saw a blush creep on to his cheeks before she turned to walk away.

[thezombieprostitute]

you've written curtis as the pinnacle of man and i lay wreaths at your feet for that but-

:takes a drag from my cigarette (candy):

i want to know if you can pin down a situation where he's responsible for a relationship headed down the drain or its already hit rock bottom OR he's your ex 👀

(context i listened to fast car by tracy chapman too many times)

First of all :steals candy cigarette, replaces it with pocky: At least this stuff has flavor.

Second, I'm glad you like how I write for Curtis. Writing a different kind of Curtis would be quite the challenge because I do want to believe the best in people.

But what about a Curtis who knows you're going to leave him so why bother letting himself get fully invested?

Warnings: Alcoholism, Depression, Implied suicidal thoughts. Please let me know if I missed any!

Growing up the way he did, everyone eventually left. Whether it was his father walking out on his family or his mother drinking herself to death soon after, it sunk home that people leave. His time in the foster care system only reinforced the idea. Families didn't actually want him so he never got his hopes up of sticking around. He knew as soon as he was 18 and no longer eligible for providing his foster family income, he'd be out on his ass. So why bother letting anyone get close?

He met you at work. Found out you had dropped out of school to take care of your father. He couldn't understand doing such a thing, your father was just going to leave you, why would you do such a thing for him? It took quite some time, but the two of you did become friendly. But Curtis couldn't let himself fully invest in the friendship. Why should he? You were just going to leave him, too.

It shocked him when you asked him out, but he did enjoy your company, even if he could never let himself fully enjoy it, so he agreed. The two of you had fun, but Curtis could never return all of the care and love you gave him. He knew you would leave so he made sure to keep himself safe. You expressed hurt now and then at his reticence, but he couldn't give you what you wanted. He shouldn't give you what you want. You're just going to leave and it'll only hurt him even worse if he does.

Your continued unhappiness only confirms his beliefs. He doesn't understand why you're trying so hard. Why you're pretending like everyone doesn't end up leaving. Are you scared of being alone? He is too, but he's grown to accept the inevitability. He only closes himself off more and more every time you try to "work with him". You're not working with him, he thinks. You're just working to try to console yourself that the inevitable loneliness isn't going to happen.

When you finally do leave, Curtis feels more pain than he expected. He purposefully kept the distance between you so it wouldn't hurt so much when you ended up leaving. But it hurts so much more than he thought it would. He misses you but he knows it's foolish to try to get you back. Maybe he'll take the same route his mother did. Maybe it'll numb the pain for himself while making sure you never have to deal with the false hope of giving him another chance.

Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly

[bonniebird]

Alicent Hightower x Fem!Reader

Requested by Anon

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Request: Anonymous asked: "Lord (Character) has directed me to take her in for charity." Alicent x Fem reader hotd

Alicent paced the receiving area as she waited. She was used to close friends of Queen Aemma’s snubbing her. But most people were appropriately polite. This Lord, however, was testing her patients.

A Hightower cousin of her father’s had come into some trouble with a lord… Gerrad Maller, she thought his name had been. However, she wasn’t certain and wished she hadn’t left the letter with the information she needed in her rooms. The relative had written to her saying that taking in a young lady would settle all the issues their house faced with the Lord without a battle. Which seemed a rather good deal to Alicent so she had readily accepted. How much trouble could a girl be? 

The queen had risen with the dawn and been at the front gate ready to receive the girl in the carriage that the Hightowers had provided to ensure she would arrive safely. Noon came and went, no girl, no carriage. Even Ser Cole had returned and told her the roads were clear for several long stretches and no one travelling to the city had seen a carriage broken down for miles.

“Mother?” Aemond said quietly as he made his way towards her. She was pacing back and forth along the front steps of the keeps courtyard but stopped when Aemond approached. “What is it?” He pressed.

“Rudeness. I use my time. My valuable time…” She complained, though mostly to herself, trailing off not wanting to weigh on Aemond’s mind. When Aemond did little more than take up vigil and wait at her side with her she sighed out her frustration and explained. "Lord Hightower has directed me to take her in for charity."

“The Lord… the one who is Grandsire’s cousin?” Aemond asked, referring to Otto and she nodded curtly. “Have you sent Cole out to check…”

“I have checked the roads twice. Traders have been arriving all day for the market, none have seen a broken-down carriage. She was supposed to be here this morning.” Alicent ranted. Aemond was thoughtful and looked up at the sky for a moment with his arms folded behind his back.

“I suppose… I should be reluctant to leave home. If I were younger. Perhaps I would even snub a queen for a moment longer with my family” Aemond said eventually in a thoughtful way, careful to not accuse his mother of assuming the worst, as she tended to do. Alicent glanced at him and she sighed.

“I imagine you are right.” She surrendered and nodded thoughtfully. The gates before them finally opened and she strode forward upon seeing a carriage with the Hightower sigil on the doors and horses gear. 

“Lady (Y/N), your grace.” A guard dressed in red and black said as he hurried to meet her halfway. When the carriage door opened the girl stepped out and Alicent had to force her face to be as flat and expressionless as she could.

The girl’s hair was matted, clumped up around her shoulders. Her face was hollowed and tired, drawn as if she had seen many horrors and would never heal from such a sight. Alicent swallowed the scolding that had leapt to her tongue and reached for the girl's hand. Being closer Alicent wondered how in the world the girl was finding the strength to stand for she was so thin her clothes hung off her and up close she could see welts and lumps clearly from a beating.

“(Y/N)... I… I hope your travel was… well.” Alicent stuttered out when all other words failed her. At least, the only other words she could find would have resulted in Aemond and Vhagar on the air sent after your attackers like a hound after a fox.

“Yes your grace, thank you, your grace.” You said with a voice so sweet it made tears prickle in her eyes as you gave her the most sincere smile she had received since she was wed to Viserys.

“Come, we shall get you bathed and fed.” Alicent said quickly. Aemond was staring at you in a way that made you shy closer to Alicent. Receiving a sharp look from his mother, Aemond shook himself from his shocked stupor and hurried along behind you both. Alicent led you to the set of rooms that were to be yours and left you with her handmaidens promising that she would return.

Otto was not surprised when Alicent burst into her rooms. “Did we do that? Our house?” She spat out and gestured to the door. Otto sighed and held up a roll of paper which she snatched from his hand.

“It seems our charity may not be enough to smooth this over. Regardless of vows made.” Otto frowned and looked rather troubled. Alicent unrolled the scroll and read, sitting on a chair to the side of her father's desk.

“That brute has other girls? Well, I shall take them. I am the queen and he cannot… Father, the grace of the gods keep that girl alive.” Alicent’s voice was serious and hard as she closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “What must have happened to her…”

“Alicent… She is unaware but the last of her sisters died this morning… that is why there was such a delay in the departure from Oldtown. I have not long received the information.” Otto watched his daughter carefully. Fury built in Alicent and if it were not extinguished she would allow it to build as if it were the last embers in a tundra.

“How many girls?” She asked.

“Thirteen. Eleven legitimate of which (Y/N) is the youngest and only survivor. The two illegitimate children… I believe one lives. I have agreed that House Hightower should take the Maller’s land if possible. After more investigation into what started the issue, we found that the small folk are suffering severely, those who work in his house make wild accusations and if the man flees… I dread what harm he may do. I will meet with the king this evening.”

“I will join you. This is… murder. Brutality! It will not stand.” Alicent snapped out and her hand flew up to her mouth. “I… shall take her as my ward if it will protect her.”

“It may. From more than the father. My understanding is house Maller holds lands that aid with trade during the winter months. I would have to find more but, despite being a small relatively insignificant house, the route they upkeep is valuable.” Otto warned. Alicent nodded and handed him back the letter. She felt an odd sickness as she thought over everything she had learned. 

Alicent tags:

@decadentrebelkitten @samhainrain @moonmaidwn1996 @gillybear17 @ravennoore14 @the-caravello-post @killing-gremlin @aegonandaemondtargaryenslut18 @lchufflepuffcorn @geekyandgay98 @savagemickey03 @kaitieskidmore1 @tronnily

[algolstare]

if you have the means, please help us escape our abusive family

the short version: we need out of here, and if you have the means to comfortably help us, you can help us with getting together the funds to try again to escape here (I will edit the goal when I am able to, the progress shown is for our first attempt earlier this year, which did not last)

the long version.. I don't even know where to begin. Our name is Teddy, and we're living in hell, again, and trying to escape it, again. It was so amazing to be out of here. It was better than anything we'd ever experienced before, in our entire life.

I have been so angry with myself for being unable to keep things that way, we undershot the goal by so much that time because I felt ashamed to ask for more than the bare minimum to get out - no leeway for job searching time, or anything else. It was a mistake to do it that way.. following shame usually is, but what's done is done now, and I am trying not to add any more hurt onto my plate beating myself up over such mistakes.

an update was written for the fundraiser itself, I won't copy it in its entirety to here. I know that everyone has it hard right now, and there is so much hurt in the world, mine is only a drop in an ocean - but I am choosing to believe my loved ones when they say that my life is worth trying to save, and so I am asking for help doing that.

we're doing what we can do on our own - I am back to work that I walked away from for the sake of my mental health before on top of trying to build up less ptsd-exacerbating works, because I feel it is maybe my only shot at a decent steady income, to prevent the same from happening again if I manage to get out of here in the first place. I was not even up to snuff to sell burgers.. It is difficult to cover up bruises in order to look appealing.

but for so many reasons, I can't do this on my own. the hurdle is too high to get over to get out, even though I have by now proven that I can do quite a lot in terms of providing for myself - it's hard to keep anything together when you are also constantly in fear, and hurting, and being threatened, and having to hide any money we make and limit what we do to only what can be hidden, so many obstacles, that we are having any success despite them is proof enough to me that I can continue with this if we can get out. but that's if we get out.

that we even had our first time out of here, was a miracle. I am so eternally grateful to everyone who helped us have that, and to everyone who has been encouraging me and helping to support us while we are here again, it means the world to me, it is everything to me. It feels so amazing to be an adult, and be alive, and have people who care for me, it's so much different from how I understood my world to be before in all the best of ways.

if you are safe, and if you have enough for yourself as well as to extend help to another, please consider helping us. 💟

thank you for taking the time to read this, for even considering to help us, for all the ways you all have shown me the warmth of the world.. words cannot express how happy I am even to be able to continue to struggle forwards.

thank you for your kind words, and for sharing this, for helping in what ways you can, I hope that your kindness is returned to you tenfold, I hope that if you are in a situation like mine that you also can have a way forwards, I hope that you are all safe and well-fed. 🧸💗

[writerslittlelibrary]

Hey could I request a kate x autistic sibling where r struggles with social cues and Kate is protective of them?

Get your hands off my sister, drabble

masterlist requests masterlist

pairing: Kate x autistic sister reader 

warnings: a guy hitting on reader

genre: fluff

words: 850

a/n: this request stirred something in my head I didn’t know I had. I’ve never written for Kate before but now I’m entirely obsessed with this dynamic! (I generally don’t struggle with picking up social cues, so I tried my best with writing this and I apologise if something isn’t entirely accurate:))

(if your name is Brad, I apologise in advance lol)

(more fics are coming lovelies I promise)

You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work

 |——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

Kate had been your big protector ever since you had joined the family. Being your big sister she had always felt a need to protect you, and when you were diagnosed with autism that feeling only grew. Kate was the person you always stuck close to. You’d be by her side when you had started school, and she had protected you and kept you safe.

When you grew older, and boys started liking you, you were oblivious. They’d talk to you, telling you you were pretty and complimenting your outfits. You never picked up on their intentions, merely smiling and thanking them.

When you got even older, Kate started dragging you to parties and such. You had never liked parties. They were too loud in you opinion, with too many people. 

Because of that, you didn’t go with Kate often, staying at home and reading in the comfort of your room. However, this time was different. Kate had told you about a house party that some of her college friends were giving. She had assured you that it wouldn’t be too many people, and that it would be a good party to get out of the house without stepping out of your comfort zone too far. 

And so, you had agreed, going with Kate to the college party.

When you stepped into the house, you had immediately felt easy. The music wasn’t too loud, and the people present weren’t swarmed around each other like a horde of bees. Unbeknownst to you it was Kate who had made sure of that. 

When you entered, Kate had stuck closely by your side, promising you that if you wanted to leave all you had to do was tell her.

After being at the party for about an hour, you had found you were quite enjoying yourself. The people there were nice, and there wasn’t even one person that was drunk. You had even told Kate you would go and get a drink by yourself, so that she could stay and chat with her friends. 

She had agreed and asked you to bring her a drink as well. 

However, when you got to the kitching and poured your drinks, you were approached by a guy you hadn’t seen earlier that evening. He smiled as he approached you, asking if you could pour him a drink as well. 

You happily did so, nodding your head and pouring him a drink. He took it with a grateful smile, and you figured that was when he would leave. He didn’t. 

He stuck close to you and started asking you questions. 

“I’ve never seen you at one of these parties before, are you new?” 

You shook your head. “My sister, Kate, goes to these parties often. This time she asked me to join her.” 

The guy nodded, looking you up and down once or twice. “You’re very beautiful,” he told you.

You smiled. “Thank you.” 

The guy nodded, taking a step closer to you. 

“How about we get out of here?” he asked, getting a confused look in return. 

“I can’t leave without my sister. She is the one who drove us here,” you explained. 

The guy shook his head, laughing slightly, thinking you were just teasing him. 

“How about we go upstairs, find an empty room,” he suggested. 

“Then we would be alone? The party is down here…?” you replied confused.

“We wouldn’t be alone, we’d be together,” the guy continued, getting slightly irritated. 

“I don’t know you. Besides, we wouldn’t be able to hear the music upstairs,” you reasoned. 

By now, the guy was getting frustrated, grabbing your arm and putting his drink down.

“Are you fucking stupid?! I’m inviting you to come upstairs with me, how hard is that to understand!?” he yelled at you. 

You looked shocked at him, shrinking away into yourself as he yelled at you. 

“Get your hands off my sister, Brad!” you suddenly heard Kate yell. She must’ve come to look for you when you didn’t return with the drinks. 

“Relax Kate, nothing was happening. That freak sister of yours is so goddamn stupid, doesn’t understand a thing-” the guy, Brad, started, before he was rightfully interrupted by a fist to the jaw. 

Kate had punched him. 

After he fell to the ground, cradling his face in his hands, Kate had taken your arm, leading you back to the car. 

“I’m sorry I left you alone, are you alright?” Kate asked after you two were settled in the car.

You nodded, slightly offended at the way that guy had spoken about you. 

“What did he mean?” you asked Kate, who simply shrugged.

“It doesn’t matter. How about ice cream?” she asked, starting the car.

You nodded excitedly, reaching for the radio and putting on a song, humming along the lyrics as the car started driving.

Kate glanced over at you once or twice, glad she had gotten there in time. She may not always be there to protect you, but as long as she could, she would happily punch the living hell out of every person that tried insulting you.

Permanent tags: @marvelnatasha12346 @lesbionion @daddipantherr @darkstar225 @saraaahsstuff @marvelwomenarehot0 @screechcat @iheartjohansson @tia-thesimp @swaqcenix @karmasgxrl @marvel-lous3000 @hor1zond1ar1es @lorsstar1st @superlegend216 @ravensinthedaylight

[greenerteacups]

Fair warning: I don't think this is going to be a question, just a few post-latest chapter thoughts haphazardly stacked together under a trenchcoat.

Thank you for this chapter. It made my day to read something almost fluffy (I don't think anything in LH can be called purely fluff, and that's a good thing because fluff is best when it is padding for the plot, and that's what this chapter was).

LH Book 5 has been the beginning of payoff for the Dramione slow burn, and while that is immensely satisfying, it also means there are less milestones to look forward to. I don't know if this was an intentional decision, but I love how you started seeding in another slow burn that has kept us equally invested: the Black family drama.

I love reading anything that does the dysfunctional family dynamic well, and seeing Draco getting old enough to identify it clearly, have questions, testing his boundaries, fighting back against what he's been told to accept, has all been immensely satisfying as someone who has gone through this myself. Your depiction of the Black family dynamics has been /chef's kiss/. * spoiler for chapter 70 * when Draco witnesses his cousins casually throwing information his way, what I wanted was for one of the adults to see how much he needed that information, that connection, and give it to him. My god ❤️ You have written a lonely boy craving family so well.

Back to the Dramione of it all (and this might be a question), I love how Harry chose to approach the contained chaos waiting to unravel around him and just bluntly told Draco what he did. Question: do you think this is something Canon Harry would have done in this instance? Was there a choice to change anything in your characterisation of Harry (with respect to Canon) that resulted in this wonderful, blunt, more-mature-than-many-adults-who-can't-even-identify-their-needs version of Harry?

If not, what canon Harry actions/traits do you think would point to him acting this way?

Thank you! This is a beautiful and very kind trench coat, and I am luxuriating in it.

I will answer your question while continuing to luxuriate: I don't think canon Harry would ever confront his friends about an emotional problem, mostly because because he never does. Hermione and Ron, the two people he's most comfortable with in the world, are feuding for most of HBP, and while he does have a few "can't you guys just get along?" type-outbursts, he doesn't really sit down and ask "hey, what's going on with you? How can I help?" because canon!Harry is, as you might expect for a 15-year-old boy, better at ignoring his problems than solving them. (I also think there's an ingredient of conflict-avoidance in there from his upbringing with the Dursleys, but I'll be the first to admit that's mostly headcanon.)

My Harry is a bit softer — in part because that's just how I prefer my Harry, my favorite scenes with him are those where he's showing tenderness for things other people have neglected. This is the best of him, and this is the core of him, in my opinion. Canon Harry has this marvelous capacity for empathy, and when he chooses to use it, it's kind of astonishing how capable he is of resisting prejudice and caring for people. He's fiercely loyal in defending Hagrid, always. He makes a point of freeing Dobby, who's just spent a book trying to maim him. He refuses to let Sirius kill Pettigrew, even knowing that Pettigrew betrayed his parents ("My dad wouldn't want you to" — sweet boy, you mean you don't want them to, and you understand on some level that's the only thing you can say that will stop them.) He saves Gabrielle Delacour, because even if she would have been safe in the end, he's not leaving a little girl at the bottom of a fucking lake. He reads the Half-Blood Prince's handwriting — Snape's handwriting — and thinks: "I bet he's someone like me." On the basis of handwriting, he empathizes with this person! Harry is constantly trying to save people, and he doesn't ever really tell us why. And we'll never know why canon!Harry does that, consciously or subconsciously, but I have to imagine that every time Harry looks at someone in pain, he sees a lonely kid stuck under a staircase, and he thinks not fucking today.

[thesmpisonfire]

Okay so, I wanna talk about my sonboy Richas, my guy Felps, their relationship, and everything about yesterday as well

So, lets go :D

First thing, Felps actually really don't like taking care of Richas when he's without his armor

Felps has the terrible memory of being the one (together with Cellbit) to watch Richas first death. The three were at a cave and Felps and Cellbit were taken down first and had to watch Richas getting swarmed and die far from their grasp

The death was reverted, but still, when Felps logged in next time, Richas had JUST died to the bull again, so he already had 1 life. It was the very same day, just a couple hours after. Felps always reinforced about the armor, to the point he didn't let Richas take it off even when safe at Foolishs place when he could see Leo didn't wear it

Felps fucking loves that kid, he's just the quieter dad. He won't scream that much, when he panics, he shuts down and focus on the problem. He's the best dad to talk about feelings and often is the one who talks Richas out of his spiraling self deprecating thoughts, while other dads don't have the same touch

Felps has the patience to talk with Richas and hear Richas points. He always is the one talking him into a shower even if it takes a whole trip beforehand so Richas can have fun before it. He sings a lil song to get him through a shower. Ever since he came back from the lab, he trusts Richas a lot with his own strength, he knows Richas can defend himself even better than Felps can defend himself

It means a lot that Felps is the only dad Richas will listen to more easily, even if sometimes it takes a lot of talk and bargain to do so. Richas is a difficult kid, he channels all his sadness and pain into being silly and overly courageous, which means he will be a disobedient kid, he will put himself in danger, he won't listen to his dads if he can make a joke about it and it has been getting worse lately

Richas is Not doing okay, he's constantly scared of losing the ones he love, he feels easily replaceable which makes him panic and act out in 'jealousy'. He has said before he fears his siblings don't really like him and it's why he always wants to have family around, he knows he's a problem and has even apologized to Bad about it once. He thinks he can't express his love through words when he has written so many beautiful things, he paints bc its how he thinks he can better translate his care

Yesterday, after Bad took him and Felps to the graveyard and out of it, Richas went back with Felps and put some flowers around their graves. A small talk started when Felps wondered if the dead eggs were looking down at them, but also couldn't really believe it because they'd be too far up there to actually see anything. Richas then said how people used to tell him Bobby was up in between the stars, but they stopped telling him that 'story'. Then, this talk happened

"Do you think they'd [Dead eggs Richas never met] like me?"

"Ofc they would! Everyone loves you! They'd love you, Richas"

"If I had died today, would I meet them?"

Felps goes quiet for a couple seconds here, then goes back to talking

"Maybe, maybe not. We can never be sure, Richas. What if you died and it's just nothing after, huh? It's a big bet. You can't keep thinking like that and then go throw yourself in front of a zombie horse to find out if they're at the other side"

"Yeah, I wouldn't be able to annoy all the dads, it wouldn't be worth it... I'd miss you all so much" (He used the word saudade)

"Awwn... But you would be dead, Richas. We would be the ones missing you, we would be the ones staying behind"

And to me this is a very telling moment. Because Richas didn't realize people would miss him as well, he just thought about how he'd miss being with the others. He also says how he'd be in hell, missing his family but also laughing at tragedy. When Felps asks why hell, Richas goes "You really think I'd end up in heaven? With the way I am?"

Felps spends the rest of the stream hyping Richas up, telling him how much he's loved and how much everyone cares for him. Felps manages to get through Richas after a while, and they have a nice moment together. Richas already arrived to the square without armor, after having recently argued with Forever about it, and Felps didn't mind bc that area was all lightened up so less mobs were spawning, plus the aforementioned trusts he has on Richas

No one expected the horse because it came from outside the square, right out the border, and literally fell on top of them. Felps was quick to go after it, and Richas was caught out of surprise and got height damage as well, eating through 2 totems (and also having to switch out the other ones from his hand due to the rule)

Felps was smart about the horse, he always hit up high so there wouldn't be any risk of a misclick, he hit crit after crit pushing the horse away so he could better kill it without risking Richas, and he did it! I understand BBHs scare but everything was already solved and Richas was halfway being revived already

If anything, the trip to the cemetery scared Felps more than it did Richas. Richas is well used to the threat of death, he plays with it by jumping into mines and purposefully walking without armor around Forever. But Felps isn't. He wants his kid safe, he wants him alive. Felps was willing to never come back if it meant Richas could have an extra life, he would die over and over for that kid

After everything, he talked with Richas, and the kid didn't rlly need to be convinced to wear his armor now that he knew how the square can be tricky. Felps didn't need to yell, or compare Richas to anyone, or play lil games. Just a talk, and Felps' trust that Richa would now do his part, and he did!

Each mob they encountered next, Richas and Felps stayed side by side. Felps let Richas kill them first bc he knows Richas likes it, but always helping and telling him how he was doing it well. When they were rowing around later in the boat, music playing, Felps went on about how it was all that mattered

Richas was alive, Felps was alive, they got a scare but they were okay now. And it was all worth it for these calm, happy moments. These were the ones that should be remembered, the ones that made it all worth it

[dellalyra]

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗼𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 - ꜰᴀᴍɪʟʏ ꜰᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ

pixie says: i am healing and yes - i have written family formations. this is my fix it fic - canon be damned. family formations is happiness only. this fic is what i would like to see as the ending of the final battle of jjk. cw: angsty at the start, but also sweet, bittersweet stuff, canon typical gore, creative liberties and lots of spoilers if you’re not okay w that go away and mdni bc I said so.

“I won’t ask you not to go.”

“Good. I wouldn’t listen to you anyway.”

“Yaknow, when we were 16 I thought your stubbornness would ease off with age.”

“You’re the one who married me.”

“Best choice I ever made.”

You can’t help but smile at the man laying on the bed beside where you stood. Black and blue bruises fading to green on his usually unmarred skin evidence of the toll the fight took on his body - which he barely escaped with his life. The deep laceration on his stomach only stemmed by the work of your best friend who had cried into your arms several days prior saying she had been terrified she couldn’t save him for you, for the kids.

Yet, she did.

She saved him, and your son.

Your son who spent most of his time asleep, body recovering from weeks of torture and mind melding itself back together with love and care.

Your husband’s cursed energy was burnt out. The usual bottomless pit was drained to bring him back to you and extract your son from his own body. He was injured, his eyes were okay, all six of them and he’s alive and he’s safe and he’s okay.

Then the announcement came.

You all knew it would come.

The final challenge.

Kenjaku’s challenge.

There was no dissuading Yuuji, not ever but especially now he knows the truth of his parentage. Choso too, pain and suffering bottled for 150 years is a powerful motivator. Yuuta - he was going to protect everyone, no matter who he had to face. Inumaki? Was not leaving Yuuta to face this without him. Maki’s rage fuelled a fire within her, the loss of so many people making her ready to ‘bitch slap’ him, as she so delicately put.

To top it all off.

You.

Like hell were you letting these kids go alone. Were you scared? Infinitely. Only a fool would say they weren’t. You knew the risks, a widower, a baby without a mother, weddings you’d never see.

They were risks you had to take.

For Megumi. For Yuuji. Two boys who deserve a love filled future.

For Tsumiki. Your daughter snatched from your hands.

For Nanami. A brother in arms, a best friend, a mentor and a godfather.

For Akio - to grow up safe.

For your ‘Toru. He deserved to not fight anymore. He deserved peace - you both did. He deserved the life you spoke about at night in bed curled in his arms.

For Geto. For the man who was your brother in all but blood. For one half of a whole. For a future ripped apart by trauma and a body desecrated.

Satoru knew you’d go. He held you tight as his wounds would allow and protested his attendance but you and Shoko pointed out to him that his current condition would make him someone to be protected - not vice versa.

He grit his teeth and cursed.

He believed in you. Your strength and courage and immense abilities.

But that didn’t make him any less scared.

He wondered if this was how you felt.

Megumi has been sleeping for going on 24 hours now. You don’t wake him. Neither does Yuuji.

Satoru looks at you.

You sit on the bed beside him.

“Satoru. We both know this might now work in our favour. We both know I might not -” you start, breath shaky but determined.

“Absolutely not. Don’t you dare say it, Princess.” He says, grasping your cheek.

“Satoru. Listen to me. If I don’t come back, I want to go with the knowledge you’ve heard all of this. If I die, take Megumi - go find Akio, bring Shoko and the students. Leave Japan. No more fighting, I want you to live. I want you to see our sons first day of school, Megumi’s graduation, all of it. I want your world filled with love and happiness even if I lose I don’t want to be avenged. Fuck vengeance, just live. Live for our boys, make a shrine for ‘Miki, and Suguru, and Nanamin.” You say, tears flowing.

“Y/N, please - please don’t talk -” Satoru says, head buried in your neck.

“I have to. It’s important to me. You deserve to live, ‘toru. You deserve love, and happiness.”

“How can I have those if you’re not there?” He says.

“Because we have two beautiful boys who adore their daddy very much, and I’d never be gone completely. You - Gojo Satoru - have been the light of my life, the blood in my veins and the air in my lungs since we were 16. I am so, so grateful to have had you in this life, and I know you love me the same.” You say, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“I’ve loved you since the moment you got mad at me for picking a daisy a ladybug sat on. I can’t imagine an existence without you, and it runs so deep that I think my soul has merged with yours. You have always, always, been everything to me - and every day I’ve loved you more. My, sweet, brave girl.” He chokes.

All you can do is let out a watery laugh as you kiss him, soft and gentle.

“You made me promise to come home. I need you to do the same, princess.” He says, and you stick out a pinky finger which he takes in his own.

“Pinky promise.” You say, because you’re going to do everything to come home to your boys.

You stand, and yelp as a large hand smacks the globe of your asscheek.

“Go kick some cursed booty, Princess.” He says, smiling.

“Aye, aye, captain.” You blow him as kiss and he catches it, pretending to eat it.

The door softly closes behind you.

Seeing Kenjaku again was jarring. Satoru was right, your eyes saw Geto - but your soul knew otherwise. An oppressive power circled him as he teased and taunted before Choso lunged and the battle begun.

Curses swarmed like locusts all around, and you all moved in perfect formation - you fought back a comment that the mornings they grumbled at training were worthwhile after all.

Inumaki brought up the rear, a layer of protection casting an eye over the battlefield.

Maki - wasn’t the Maki you saw the last time you witness her in action. She’s lethal, a hurricane of destruction and terrifying rage as she brutally slaughters all in her path, and you swell with pride.

Yuuji and Yuuta - seamless in tandem with each other as strong fists flung them toward Yuuta’s swinging blade as they cleared a path to the centre.

Choso was engaged directly with Kenjaku - screams of rage and fury built of years of trauma swirled through the air along with shards of pure crimson as father and son clashed.

You were everyone’s back up, flashes of green pulsing around as soon as anyone became too close for your comfort to any of the others, protection second nature in your subconscious as you ripped through enemies with dagger and claws, ripping limb from limb to exorcise the curses and the raw grief in your body.

Out of the corner of your eye, a lethal looking serpentine curse lunged toward Yuuji - currently wrestling another monstrosity and you knew he hadn’t noticed it - you wouldn’t get there in time. Just as you shouted his name as it was inches from his head a whizzing rushed past your ear and toward the curse, which you saw crumble in a heap beside a gaping Itadori.

You move to run to him, but you don’t get far before a voice sounds from behind you.

“Looks like I still need to do everything around here, eh, Itadori?”

That voice.

You both spin on your heels, and behind you, hammer in hand - stood Nobara Kugisaki.

You blinked.

Presumed dead, as Shoko had refused to speak of it - she had done it.

Shoko had healed her too, and black leather eyepatch covered one side of her face but she was smirking, a hand on her hip.

“No fucking way! ‘Bara!” Yuuji says, barrelling toward her - his honorary twin sister.

He scoops her up and she thrashes.

“Put me down you oaf! I nearly died, don’t kill me again!” She shouted.

“You’re really here, Nobara?” You say, tears flooding your eyes.

“As fabulous as ever, Y/N-sensei.” She winked and threw herself into your arms.

“Eh - as much as I love this vibe guys could I have some help please, Itadori?” Comes the voice of Yuuta, snapping you all out of it as Yuuji drops his best friend and runs away to him calling ‘sorry, senpai!’.

Nobara runs to your left - to provide back up for Maki as the frenzy resumes.

Hours pass, but before you can comprehend how many - all that’s left is a smirking Kenjaku surrounded by 7 warriors.

You stride forward, dropping your blades and stopping right in front of him.

“What are you doing?!” Shouts Maki.

The clatter of the daggers is sharp against the silence. Kenjaku’s blank face looks down at you.

“I know you’re in there Nii-chan. I know you can hear me. I’m sorry we couldn’t save you, but we love you. All of us. ‘Toru and I had a baby, you’d love him. I’m also sorry for what I’m about to do.” You say.

In the blink of an eye, you whirl back your fist and drive it straight into his nose. The curse reels as he stumbles - unexpected force from your smaller body fueled by rage.

The momentary distraction works as you begin to pull out your trump card - hoping to weaken him before he can use his.

You hear Inumaki shout ‘shield your eyes’ to all the kids as your body begins to emit a strong, golden light - searing everything in its path as a screech echoes from Kenjaku - the tarmac beneath you bubbling from the energy emitted as you shout: “Cursed Technique - forbidden technique - sunbeam.”

As the screeching ends, and the light fades it’s visible effect is clear as patches of skin have melted from the body leaving bone exposed and the top of the head protecting the brain of Kenjaku is exposed - with you panting on your knees as Kenjaku attempts to regain himself. The fury on his face alerts Yuuji who grabs Choso who immediately understands, running toward you to scoop you up and away. Yuuji barrels toward and everyone begins to scream as you see Kenjaku’s hand making the sign required.

Uzumaki.

You all brace for impact but the shockwave and death of Yuuji never came. When your eyes all open, a black dome is covering the area both men were. It’s solid surface impenetrable - no matter who you were. Just as you think to summon your domain to override you look - that’s not a domain with traces of Kenjaku.

Those traces…

Yuuji Itadori.

“Stop! Stop! No domains!” You shout to the kids.

“What?!” Maki responds.

“It’s not Kenjaku’s. This domain - its Yuuji’s. This is Yuuji’s domain! He did it!” You say, beaming - pride and astonishment mixed with exhaustion.

“She’s right. This is my brothers energy.” Choso agrees.

“Holy shit, it is.” Nobara chimes in.

“We can only wait.” Yuuta says, anxiously leaning on his sword.

This battle was between the two in the domain now, having no idea what Yuuji’s domain would be left you all blind.

You were gently sat on the ground, a characteristic you learned was intrinsic to Choso by now - someone who you have grown to count as a very special friend over the last few months.

You wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Nobara curled up beside you, as Maki filled her in on all she’d missed. You didn’t miss the whimper when she was told of Megumi’s imprisonment.

And after 20 minutes, Inumaki’s soft voice jolts you all.

“Look.”

The domain was fading, melting from above.

It lowered like melting ice and the dust within cleared until a backlit figure stood beside a crumpled lump on the ground. The figure was heaving air into their lungs.

The body walked forward.

“YUUJI!” Came 7 voices.

The lump. Kenjaku. Corpse mangled and bloody and a grizzly mass of brain matter was coating the ground as slowly disintegrating into dust.

He did it.

He killed Kenjaku.

“Little brother, you did it! Are you hurt?” Choso grasped his exhausted younger brother and Yuuji shook his head and you saw a weak smile on his bloodied face.

“Y/N?” Itadori rasps.

“Yes, sweet boy?” You smile, hand on his cheek and tears on your face.

“Can we go home now?” He says.

You huff out laughing.

“Let’s go home, sweetheart.”

Yuuta on one side and Choso on the other, helping the exhausted boy - they all began to walk away.

“Are you coming?” Nobara asks, as you crouch down beside the corpse.

You whip out your phone, clicking a contact and pressing the share location button.

“You guys go ahead. I’ll be there soon. Yuuta, help patch up Yuuji.”

They all exchange looks but go ahead anyway.

You sit down. Looking at the body, and fix the top part of the head so it sits where it should.

Before long, you hear footsteps behind you and someone sits beside you.

“He’d go crazy if he saw his hair that messy.” Shoko huffed.

“He’d probably blame Satoru.” You respond and she smirks, lighting a cigarette.

“You hurt?” She asks.

“No. Just… tired.” You say, leaning your head on the shoulder of your best friend.

“Me too.” She leans to close his eyes.

“He would have been so proud of all of us, Koko. He always said you’d look hot in a lab coat.”

“He would have had Akio hanging from him 24/7 too, kids always loved him for some reason.” She mentions and you both laugh. Her head rests on yours.

There’s silence for a few minutes.

“He looks peaceful, doesn’t he? Like how he used to look when he’d sleep on my lap under the tree.” Shoko says, voice thick.

“We can pretend for a moment that he is just asleep.” You say.

“I’m glad Satoru isn’t here.” You confess and she nods.

“Koko?” You whisper.

“Yeah?” She says, squishing her cigarette out.

“We can take him home now. Do it right.” You say, tears forming again.

“Somewhere close, so I can sit and have a smoke with him sometimes.” She agrees.

You stand, holding your hand out - the remnants of your cursed energy forming a floating box of vines around the body, neither of you could carry him so you’d create a way to transport him home.

You turn your hand to her, the vines levitating behind you.

She grabs your hand.

“Let’s go see your husband.” She says, wiping her face as you walk hand in hand back to base.

Walking toward healing, and a safe future.

[natti-ice]

Would You Have Me?- Sirius Black.

Pairing: Sirius Black x fem!reader

Summary: Y/N is the only person in Sirius’ life he truly cares about, he wouldn’t mind if it was only them

Warnings: modern high school au!, written in third person (she/her pronouns) (1.6k words)

Author's note: this is a reupload, I wrote this a while ago!

Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated<3

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The final bell rang, it was Friday hundreds of students poured out of the school doors ready for the weekend. Y/N was among the swarm of kids, headed toward her bus. Thankful it was the weekend, this week had been a lot on her. Off in the distance, she could hear her name over the loud voices. Looking around shielding her eyes from the sun, she could see a tall boy headed her way. 

It was Sirius

"There you are," he said when he reached her, throwing his arm around her shoulder "Where are you off to?" he asked

"My bus" she pointed to the big yellow vehicle

"C'mon, I'll take you home" he offered

"Really?" she asked

"Yeah, you can tell me all about your day"

They walked to the student parking lot, Sirius drove a black '89 Dodge charger. It was a little squeaky, but he loves that car. 

He opens the passenger door for Y/N, closing it once she was in. Sirius Drove the long way to her house so they could talk longer.

"How was your day, dear?" he asks pulling out of the campus

"It was fine, I'm glad the week is over. Everything has been a lot lately" 

It was their junior year, everyone is starting to worry about their futures. Their career, college, exams, everything stressful. 

"I know what you mean, it feels like we have to know everything about the future before it happens" he replies

They continue their conversation all the way to Y/N's house. They've always been able to tell each other everything without feeling judged. Nowadays, it feels like you have to make sure everything is perfect because the whole world is watching, waiting for you to fall.

He was her safe place, and she was his. 

Sirius pulls up in front of her house, parking the car.

"Thanks for the ride, Sirius" she says opening the car door

"Of course, love. Hey, do you wanna hang out tomorrow?" he asks

"Yeah, sure I'll ask my parents. I'll text you" she answers

"Great, I'll see you soon then" He smiles

"Bye" she says closing the door.

He waits for her to go inside before driving off like he does every time. He sees her almost every day, but he still gets excited when they hang out. It's like a new experience every time, even when they've done it one hundred times before.

-

When he got home, he waited anxiously for her text. Her parents have never said no before, but it still made him a little nervous. He's made sure over the years that her parents liked him, he didn't want them to think he was just some guy who was only hanging out with their daughter to get in her pants.

He started his homework that probably won't get finished till Monday morning, checking his phone every few minutes.

Finally, after what felt like an hour, she texted him

parents said it's cool What did you have in mind?

 Movie? Wonka is still showing. Stay at my place after?

Timothee Chalamet? HELL YEAH! Definitely down for a sleepover

 Great! I'll pick u up at 4

See you then! <3

He was happy that she could come, he liked being able to get out of the house and escape with her. Everyone has family issues, his family was distant from each other. It was almost like they were roommates, not a family. His parents didn't care if he was gone or if he had someone over.

His brother stayed in his room most of the day when he got home from school. Their bond was limited to short interactions in the dining room on special occasions.

Y/N was his real family, she was always there for him whenever he needed her. At school, many people claimed to be his friend, they'd say hey in the hallway or talk about some game that happened the night before. None of them would actually have a real meaningful conversation with him.

He didn't get why he was so popular, he was sociable and easy on the eyes sure, but nobody knew the real him. It seemed like they had all made a false version of him in their heads. A mysterious ladies' man who could have anyone he wanted.

That wasn't true at all, he wasn't a mystery at all. He was very open once you got to know him, only Y/N had ever made the effort to do so. The whole 'ladies' man' thing was really funny to him. He'd never had a serious girlfriend, a few dates here and there but nothing real.

Many of those girls thought that him and Y/N had a thing going on so they would stop talking to him completely. At first he didn't know why they would think that, he thought their friendship seemed very platonic. Then he realized some of the things they would do seemed a little too friendly.

That didn't stop him. If he was honest, he didn't care about those girls at school. If there was only one girl in the world and he had to pick her. It would be Y/N. Always Y/N.

-

Saturday came around, Sirius waited all day for 4 o'clock. He didn't like to be late, he pulled up in front of her house a few minutes early so he could greet her parents.

Turning off his car, walking up to the front door. He rings the doorbell that has a little camera on it. A few seconds later, her mother opens the door

"Sirius, how are you, dear?" she asks bringing him in for a hug

'I'm great, Mrs. L/N. How's everything?"

"Everything's fine, Y/N should be ready by now." she told the boy "Y/N, Sirius is here!" she yelled up the stairs

She came down the stairs, a small bag in her hand. 

"Sorry, had to make sure I had everything, are you ready?" she asks Sirius

"Yeah, I'll see you later, Mrs. L/N" 

He and Y/N get in his car, driving to the local movie theater. 

That movie was almost 3 hours long, but that's okay. They didn't mind sitting in a dark room together in silence. It was much later, the sun was starting to set when they headed towards Sirius' house.

His parent's car wasn't in the driveway thankfully, awkward hellos are never fun. They realize they're starving and order take out.

Once it finally arrives, he takes her up to his room. Passing by Regulus' room, she could hear gunfire from some video game.

"Don't mind him, it's like he's married to the game. Hardly comes out the room" Sirius explains opening his bedroom door.

It was relatively clean, only because he knew she was coming over. His walls were lined with movie posters from the 80s and now, some of his favorite vinyls, and photo booth pictures of him and Y/N from various locations.

He made sure his space represented him. The real him. 

They spend the next couple of hours eating and watching random videos on youtube until they got bored of it. Putting on Evermore on as background music as they talked.

Both of them are sitting on the floor, Sirius leaning against the wall, Y/N against his bed

They jumped from topic to topic as the night progressed, getting into the more personal topics. A few weeks ago, Y/N started talking to a boy named Kevin. She seemed to have liked him until she stopped talking about him.

Sirius had been curious about that for a while, he thought it was a good time to ask

"Whatever happened to that Kevin guy? I thought you two were getting serious" he asks

"Oh him? That's long gone" she shrugged, "He said he just didn't feel anything for me" she explained, she didn't show it but she was a little hurt by the boy's words.

"Oh my god, he sucks. Anyone would be more than lucky to have you" He was mad that anyone would treat her like this. "Fuck that guy"

"It's alright, I didn't need him in my life" she wanted to get the topic off her "What about you? Anyone new in your life?"

"Nah" he smiles "I don't want anyone new, honestly"

"What do you mean?" she asks

"I'm happy just having you in my life, sometimes I wish it could always just be you and me" he says in a low voice

"That would be great, honestly. Just us against the world" she agrees

"Y/N?" his voice barely above a whisper, fidgeting with a ring on his hand

"Yeah?" 

He swallowed before replying, "I think I'm in love with you"

"What?" she laughed nervously, he got up and sat next to her

"When I think of my future, having a family and owning a house, you're there right next to me. I've tried to convince myself that it's only because there isn't anyone else in my life" He pauses searching her face for any sort of bad emotion "I know now, it's because I don't want anyone else in my life but you"

Y/N's brain was all over the place, trying to figure out what to say. Sirius has been her rock for so long, she had a small crush on him. She didn't think he would ever reciprocate it

"I don't know what to say" she admits

"That's alright, you don't have to say anything. If you're willing, maybe we could see if this goes anywhere?" 

She reaches down grabbing his hand, lacing her fingers with his. "I think we can make it work" she smiles "After all, we're still getting married at 30 right?" she laughed

"Right Right. A pact is a pact, dear" he smiles

She gives him a small kiss on the cheek, slowly pulling away. Their faces were dangerously close together, warm breath fanning against their skin. Y/N closes the distance. Their lips perfectly fitting each other, just like they were made for each other.

Sirius pulled away, not wanting things to get carried away. Y/N rest her head on his shoulder

"So, what color should our invitations be?"

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join a tag list!

[writtenonreceipts]

a/n: Bonus points if you can point out where one of my (many) mental breakdowns occurs.  She’s a bit of a disaster.  I literally don’t know where this came from…

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas @aelinschild!  Written as part of the @rowaelinscourt secret santa exchange. Thanks for putting up with me and my myriad of asks.  It’s been wonderful to get to know you these last few weeks! <3<3<3<3

Find the companion Elorcan piece here! Set just a few months before the main events of this story.

AO3 Link here

Warnings: nothing major, non-explicit/passing mentions of trauma/abuse, very brief mention of drugs ~25k words

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

Until the Dust Settles

A golden sun set behind the Oakwald Mountains, casting long shadows across the long stretch of land that made up Whitethorn Ranch.  The acres were a makeup of subtle rills and hills where horses could run for ages and the flatter earth where a decent sized garden yielded a fair amount for the farmers market in the spring and summer. 

The land had been in Rowan Whitethorn’s family for over one hundred years—it was the only home he’d ever known.  He’d grown up racing horses through the vast fields or spending winter chasing down animals that had gotten loose in a storm.  He would admit that sometimes it was a hard life to live—the constant work, the fear for the animal’s safety.  But it certainly had its benefits.

The spring and summer that actually made the land worth having.  Not only because there in the farther outreaches of the countryside, things seemed untouched by society—which really was the only thing worth mentioning.  But it also allowed for the most tourism and when most people came to visit that ranch.

For nearly twenty years now, Whitethorn Ranch was mostly known for its outreach program for troubled teens.  When kids needed time away from home where it was for depression, anxiety, trauma, misbehavior—they came to the ranch.  

It had started ages ago when Rowan’s great-grandfather came to own the land and took on the runaways who were escaping bad situations.  His great-grandparents accepted anyone who came by the ranch as their own and the attitude extended through the generations.  By the time Rowan’s father gained the land, things had turned to be more professional.  

The ranch used a mix of therapy modems and simple outreach to help those who needed it.  They offered day visits for schools, riding lessons, even month-long visits and stays for extreme cases.  It was careful water to tread sometimes.  Recently, Rowan had been more conscious about making sure the kids who came felt safe and wanted.  He never accepted anyone who was forced to come, unless he could talk to the kid first.  Even then, he knew that help only helped when someone actually wanted it.

But now as Rowan stared over the golden horizon, he wondered how anyone could turn a sight like this down.

He tightened Goldryn’s reins and clicked his tongue, directing the horse back to the stables.  It had been a long day of checkouts and clean up.  This late in the fall, most people only came by for tours or field trips.  Business wouldn’t pick back up until May at least.

For now, the ranch would rely on its usual borders.  There were a few families that owned horses but didn’t have the land to keep them, so Rowan rented out stalls and charged for care.  It kept him busy enough in the slower months.  Him and Lorcan, his best friend from college, made things work though.  It had taken a great deal of convincing to get Lorcan to come out here, but the grumpy bastard enjoyed being outside and this job presented plenty of opportunity.

It certainly helped that Lorcan had recently started dating Elide Lochan, who was a staple to the small town.  And Rowan had to admit—they were good together.

As he rode down a worn path along the paddock fence, Rowan could see a shape waiting for him in the distance.  He grimaced.  There was only one person that would be so intent on talking to him.

He slowed Goldryn to a trot, knowing he couldn’t avoid the inevitable.

Leaning against a fence post with her arms crossed and golden blonde hair hanging in loose curls was Aelin Galathynius.  Brilliant, beautiful, and a pain in his ass.  She had come to the ranch almost six months ago after graduating from a top university specializing in trauma.  She was exactly what he needed for what he was trying to accomplish here and exactly the right person to drive him insane.

Rowan pulled Goldryn to a stop at the fence gate and stared down at Aelin.  Her cold blue eyes stared right back up.  She’d long since traded her fancy clothes and high heels out for jeans and t-shirts.  She even wore a baseball cap on occasion.  And yet the change of close did nothing to diminish her looks.

“I need to talk to you,” she said.  She didn’t flinch when Goldryn stamped her feet with a loud snort.  Another thing Aelin had improved upon, not being jumpy around the animals.  Though, she did eye the mare with a bit of distrust.

“It’s outside of my office hours,” he replied.  “Try again tomorrow.”

Aelin scowled at him.  It was the same excuse she used on him when he needed to talk to her, he didn’t see why she should be so upset to have it thrown back in her face.

“That’s what you said yesterday,” she said.

“I know what I said.”  He adjusted his hold on the reins and shrugged. “It’s been a busy few days.”

He jumped off of Goldryn’s back, landing in the earth with a soft thump.  He could just as easily have Aelin open the gate for him, but he was convinced she would have tried to scratch his eyes out if he’d asked.  Keeping one hand in the reins, Rowan unlatched the gate and swung it open towards him.  Goldryn snorted again, huffing as she backed up a few feet to make room.  

Aelin too had taken a step back but she didn’t go far.  She was several inches shorter than he was, even in the boots she wore, but still taller than the average woman.  She had a lean, athletic build Rowan had seen put to good use.  When some of the kids got restless on their extended stays she would workout with them, go for runs, turn hay bales, the whole nine-yards.  She wasn’t weak by any means.

“What do you need, princess?” he asked as he led Goldryn through the gate, locking the paddock again behind him.  He kept himself between Aelin and the horse, mostly because he knew she still wasn’t comfortable around the larger animals and even he wasn’t that cruel.

Still, Aelin almost stalked off right then.  Rowan could see it in her eyes, the tilt of her chin.  It wouldn’t have surprised him if she had.  Hell, he’d never met anyone as stubborn as Aelin Galathynius.  Not even one of his horses had as much attitude.

But he knew she needed something and even though it killed her, she uncrossed her arms and kept pace with him as he set off toward the stables.

“Don’t call me that,” Aelin said flatly.  She flicked her hair over one shoulder as she kept her steps purposeful, even when she stepped in a small hole and nearly went careening forward.

Rowan tried to reach out and steady her as he kept Goldryn reined in, but Aelin waved him off.  She straightened herself out and got on even footing before she continued to scowl at the ground.  She’d always been like that too—refusing help and insisting she could manage things on her own.  She was damned near worse than Farasha.

“Easy,” he said.  He was talking to the horse, who was yanking on the reins a bit too hard.  Aelin of course would never miss an opportunity to glare at him.

It was a shame they hated each other; Rowan decided.  Because try as he might, he couldn’t ignore the fact that she was one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen.  Between her blue eyes, the golden waves of hair, the mischievous tilt of her lips—he’d be a fool not to acknowledge it.  But Aelin was also impossibly stubborn.  She fought him on everything.  She was opinionated.  She was selfish.  She was—

“I want you to open up another week for kids to come and stay over Christmas and New Years,” Aelin said.  She adjusted the yellow and black flannel she wore, eyes straight forward.

She was going to drive him to an early grave.

It was Rowan’s turn to stumble as he spun to look at her. “You what?”

Goldryn snorted, pulling on the reins again.  Oh she was mad at him.  They were a few minutes late to dinner now and she knew it.  Damn horse.

“An extra week for kids to come stay over the holidays,” Aelin repeated.  She didn’t flinch from the way he turned his own glare on her, only kept walking with that insufferable tilt to her chin.

“Why?” he asked.

Christmas—any of the holidays this time of year really—always made for a quieter time on the ranch.  People were more content to stay at home and put off their problems a little longer.  It wasn’t until after that people realized how much they hated their circumstances.  Even then, they didn’t seek out his ranch for anything more than daily horse rides.  Nothing to actually problem solve.

“It’s a hard time of year for kids,” Aelin said.  

They reached the stables and she helped slide the great door open.  Immediately, the heating system blasted them with a warm gush of air accompanied by the scent of hay, manure, and feed.  It was a scent Rowan had grown used to and, strange as it was, he took comfort in.

Rowan handed Goldryn off to one of the stable hands who took the mare to her stall.  Turning to Aelin, Rowan crossed his arms over his chest, taking her in.  She had a fiery determination about her and he knew he wouldn’t be able to brush her off easily.

“Open up an extra week so these kids can have a safe place to come,” Aelin insisted. “There’s a program with the city—”

“Please, Aelin, I know what that means,” he said, already walking away.  She could trail him and make her case if it was so important. “I won’t actually get paid for the extra costs.  The city pretends to take care of all the funding but doesn’t actually give me what I need.”

“I’ll take care of it all,” Aelin said, indeed following right after him as he moved to the feed barrels.  She even managed to dodge the droppings from the lone pig that wandered the stables. “I’ll keep up the communications with the program.  I know the director, she’s not a flake.”

Rowan had heard things like this before.  Sellene had tried to get him to take state funding before too, all that resulted in was mounds of paperwork and audits.

He opened the feed barrels and started scooping portions into waiting buckets that would go to the various horse stalls.  Aelin took one of the buckets as soon as it was filled, her manicured fingers wrapping around the handle.  

“The Cavarre Foundation wants to help kids,” Aelin continued.  She grabbed another bucket. “They’ve already got a list of kids they can send over.”

“Then they can wait til after the holidays,” Rowan said.

He hefted his own buckets and went to the first stall.  A yearling named Quinn was already waiting for his feed.  His owners were aiming for the colt to be a stallion and show for congress.  Quinn had a bit too much attitude to take to that sort of training, he’d be better as a rodeo horse or in the fields, but Rowan wasn’t being paid for that commentary.

“Watch it buddy,” Rowan warned the colt as he opened the stall and eased toward the trough in the corner.  Quinn nickered and pranced a bit, but ultimately didn’t give him any issues.

Aelin waited outside the stall, the tension in her body obvious.  She should just go and catch up with him later.  He would have suggested it too if she didn’t immediately start talking again.

“What if their home lives aren’t the best?  These kids have been selected from a few of the foster homes in the area and recommended by psychiatrists that this would be a beneficial healing opportunity.”  Aelin dodged around a worker moving hay, this time landing one foot in a pile of pig dung.  She didn’t flinch. “Isn’t that what this ranch is about?”

No it wasn’t.

Rowan opened the door of Hessina’s stall.  The mare was pregnant, due in late February, and had to be the sweetest horse he actually owned.  Rowan offered her a nose rub that she eagerly accepted.

“Are you even listening to me?” Aelin asked as Rowan closed the stall again.

“Hard not to when you won’t shut up,” he muttered.  He couldn’t tell if she’d heard him or not--her scowl remained perfectly etched on her face and she betrayed nothing as she walked with him to the next two stalls.

It didn’t take long to get most of the horses fed and ensure they had plenty of water.  The night wasn’t set to get too cold, so they wouldn’t bring out the blankets.  The heating system worked well enough to keep things warm but not freezing and these horses were all conditioned and bred for the chilly winter weather as it was.

By the time Rowan was ready to head back to the main house it had almost darkened completely outside.  Another long day done only for it to continue tomorrow and the day after.  He’d only been officially running the ranch for five years and he was ready to be done with it.

After making sure everything was set for the night, and checking in with the shift leader, Rowan decided he could leave everything as it was.  Lorcan would be in tomorrow to do a once over.  As the lead stable manager, he oversaw the functioning of the workers and the horses.  He even did a bit of training on the horses.  Not that Lorcan would ever admit to doing so.  

“You still here?” Rowan said to Aelin as he headed back to the cold night.  It was a twenty-minute walk, but the weather had been decent enough that he hadn’t wanted to bother with his car. 

“You never gave me an answer,” she said.

They walked across the long drive that led straight to the main house.  The road wasn’t paved, only gravel packed dirt that wound it’s way around the property.  When kids were staying in the cabins, Aelin had a room designated for her in the house, but she usually just went back into town where she rented an apartment.  As far as he knew, she was still planning on leaving when they reached her car.

“I already told you no,” he said.

It wasn’t an easy decision to make; opening the ranch up for a week.  Especially over the holidays.  He knew that Lorcan didn’t care about this time of year and there were a few ranch hands that wouldn’t mind the extra time to work.  But if the city program never paid him, he could never pay for the extra work.  And while he knew he could handle the work on his own if necessary…well, Rowan just didn’t see the point of approving this.

“It’s a lot to take on without much warning,” he added, before Aelin could rise up in a defensive retort. “Give me a day, alright?”

They finally reached the main house with its large wrap-around porch, the whitewashed wood, and three-story windows.  His cousin was probably inside already cooking up a meal that she’d filmed for her Instagram page.  It was the kind of house for a family, for someone with more to their name than Rowan did.  Sometimes he really hated coming home.

Aelin car, a small two-door Audi, waited from where she’d parked it that morning.  Rowan would be very interested to know how she planned on getting around once the snow started.

“I’ll take on any extra work you need,” she said, “cooking, cleaning, I’ll care for horses—”

“You hate the horses,” he said.

Her mouth twisted to the side. “I’ll do what I need to do.  Please, Rowan.  I think this would be a really good opportunity.”

Rowan didn’t know what surprised him more: the fact that she said please or used his first name.  He made the mistake of meeting her gaze, the gold undertones of the blue bright in the porch lights.  Shaking his head, Rowan muttered a curse.

“I’ll let you know in the morning,” he told her.

Aelin nodded once. “Thank-you.”

It was the most civil they’d been to each other in a long time.  Usually their exchanges ended in accusations, shouting, and name calling.  Aelin too seemed caught off guard by it.  She stepped back, digging for her keys in her pocket.  She nodded again before returning to her car.

Rowan remained outside as she made a quick U-turn in the large gravel drive.  She disappeared into the night quietly, the taillights soon lost as she curved down a bend in the road.

“Dammit,” he muttered.

Rowan already knew the answer he would have to give Aelin.  It was one he’d have to give his entire staff.  And he knew no one was going to like it.  Come new year he was going to sell the ranch to someone new.  And just like that the legacy his family had left him would be gone.

…

As she drove down the highway into town, Aelin found herself wringing the steering wheel of the car while imagining it was Rowan Whitethorn’s neck.  She knew, she knew, he was going to tell her no.  He would text her first thing in the morning and tell her that her request would be denied.  That the thing she actually cared about wouldn’t see the light of day.

He was a bastard.

She’d known it from the first day she’d met him so many months ago.  

It was her first full day in Oakwald, having left everything behind in Terrasen, and she was ready to start anew.  She’d expected things to be hard.  But she hadn’t expected Rowan Whitethorn to look at her with such contempt and tell her that she really had no business being there in the first place.  As if he hadn’t hired her just a week ago to fill a vacancy in his staff.

Not to mention the look he’d given her clothes, her car, everything about her was some big cosmic joke.  

Aelin sighed and turned off the highway to the bar where her one real friend worked.

Her little Audi was out of place among the trucks and SUVs.  She just needed to make it another two weeks without any bad weather and she’d have access to her new car.  Locking up, she hurried into the bar, already relishing the warmth awaiting.

In the span of one minute, the cold November air nearly sucked the life out of her.  The bar was a welcome reprieve as it was always kept at a decent heat.  Even with the scent of cigarette smoke lingering in the air, it had a comforting air about it.

Aelin went to the counter and slipped into a stool right next to Lorcan Salvaterre.

“Seriously?” he growled at her with a malicious side eye.

“It's the best of both worlds,” Aelin said with a cheeky smile. “You don’t like sharing your girlfriend, but she’s my best friend.  You still can talk to her and freely ignore me.”

Lorcan was not impressed by the explanation.  Back in the city, Aelin would have done everything in her power to avoid a man like him.  He was massive with long black hair and enough scars to indicate bad news.  His leather jacket strained with his broad shoulders and thick muscles.  And while Aelin would admit she had a thing for guys of a certain physique there was something dark about Lorcan that she couldn’t explain.  Which made it all the more surprising that he and Elide had started dating.

“Hey, Aelin!” Elide appeared from the swinging doors that led to the kitchen, carrying a tray of appetizers for another table.

“Hey!” Aelin called back.

Just a few months ago, Elide had told her about the confession she’d overheard where Lorcan admitted his feelings for her.  It had led to a heated kiss and a night that Elide said was the best of her life.  It was the only explanation Aelin needed or wanted.  She was glad her friend was happy, even if it was with Lorcan Salvaterre.

“Glad to see you’re still grumpy as ever,” Aelin told Lorcan.  She snagged a few pretzels in one of the many bowls set up along the bar.  She’d long gotten over her germ contamination worries.  

Lorcan grunted and sipped his beer.  Aelin rolled her eyes.

“You’re just like Whitethorn,” she said.

Another grunt.  Well, it was better than utter ignorance she supposed.

Elide appeared a minute later.  She leaned against the counter and raised a brow.

“Wow, you actually chose to sit next to Lorcan,” she said, “I’m proud of you.”

“I figured it would be better than making the old man upset that you would choose me over him to talk to,” Aelin explained.  “Besides, I think he’s warming up to me.”

Lorcan cut her a look that only had her grinning.

Elide snorted a laugh. “Yeah, besties the two of you.  What would you like to drink?”

“Just a coke,” Aelin said, “I should get home soon.”

“Coke and mozzarella sticks coming up,” Elide said with a wink.  She glanced at Lorcan. “Babe?”

Lorcan stared at his girlfriend for a long moment before registering what she said.  The corner of his mouth picked up in a smile and he shook his head.  

“Nah, I’m good.”

Elide only smiled fondly as she got Aelin her coke and went to put in an order for mozzarella sticks.

It was strange to Aelin just how enmeshed she’d gotten into this small town just in the past few months since arriving.  She never thought she’d find a place to belong more than in Terrasen, but there was something about Oakwald that she couldn’t deny enjoying.  It certainly helped that she and Elide had become such quick friends.  

But really, Aelin was glad to be out of Terrasen.  She needed a new start.  A new life.  Here, no one knew her history, her parents, anything beyond the fact that she was the new therapist on Whitethorn Ranch.  And she liked it that way.

Elide returned a minute later, her thick black hair piled in a new bun atop her head.  She often worked doubles all week long without much time for herself, let alone to date anyone.  But Aelin had learned a long time ago that Elide was as good as they came.  She worked hard, cared harder, and was one of the most genuine individuals she’d ever met.

“How was the ranch?” Elide asked.  She set another beer on the bar for Lorcan without his needing to ask for it.

“Good,” Aelin said, “it’s been slowing down.  But if Whitethorn wouldn’t be such an ass, it would pick up.  I pitched him my idea for the extra week over the holidays.  He’s just going to say no, though.” Beside her, Lorcan made a noise.  She shot him a glare. “What?”

“Nothing,” he said, “it doesn’t matter.”

He looked up when the bar door opened and a few of his friends came in.  He rapped his knuckles on the counter before standing to go join them.

Aelin looked back to Elide. “How can you like him?”

“Because I do,” Elide said simply.  She leaned across the counter with a sigh. “I’m sure Rowan will approve your idea.  It’s a good one and he knows it’s what his ranch is for.  Take him the numbers and notes you came up with.  He can’t say no to concrete evidence.”

Aelin nodded absently.  When she’d come to Oakwald it had been in part to get away from Terrasen.  But it had also been a beckoning call from her cousin and his wife.

Lysandra Cavarre-Ashryver had been a close friend of Aelin’s for years when they’d grown up together in Terrasen.  They’d lost contact when Lysandra’s foster family took her across the country.  Aelin too had lost contact with her cousin after a series of messy family drama.  It was only after Aelin’s…accident a few years ago that they’d slowly reconnected.

And to be honest ever since talking with Lysandra and Aedion again, Aelin had slowly started feeling like herself.  It had only taken six years.

“I just…I really think it’s a good plan, especially for those kids,” she said.  This entire thing was the only thing keeping her afloat right now.  A job that gave her purpose, a chance to reunite with her cousin…it was better than being left with the reality of potentially going back to Terrasen.

Aelin shuddered at the thought and sipped her coke.  The carbonation danced on her tongue as she swallowed.

“He’s going to say yes,” Elide said.  She gave Aelin another look of assurance before going back to the kitchen to check on orders.

Aelin didn’t know what to think.  Elide had to be on her side, that’s what friends did.  But Elide was also not the kind to cling to false hope.

“Yeah,” she said to herself.  She had to believe that this would go right.  Because the alternative…well she didn’t want to think about that.

…

“What do you mean no?” Aelin asked.

She stared across the desk at Rowan who looked utterly passive as he sat in his chair, fingers steepled before him.

They were in the office of the main house where most of the “on paper” business of the ranch was taken care of.  Aelin had spent a bit of time here over the last several months.  Mostly to force Rowan to listen to her on a subject.  And just like all the other times before it was proving to be hostile and unproductive.

The office was simple in decoration with only a few framed pictures of Rowan’s dad, granddad, and great-granddad, a few knick-knacks on the shelves, and medals and certificates of recognition that the ranch had received over the years for various horses that had made nationals and other such things.

 Aelin didn’t like the room very much.  The rest of the house had a homey feel, but she believed that was because Sellene lived on site while she went to school at the local community college and hosted an online cooking show with Instagram.  It was Sellene that added the feminine touch to the main concourses.  Rowan hardly seemed like the domestic type.  If things were his way the entire house would be empty save for a display of guns.

“I mean no,” Rowan said.  He didn’t even look apologetic as he delivered the news.  “It’s too much work for the ranch in this season.  Most of the workers are already leaving until things pick up in the spring.  And if you can’t guarantee payment then I’m not putting in the risk.”

She pulled out the binder she’d curated with Lysandra and dropped it on the desk with a thunk.

“I have the costs and benefits listed, what the program will offer in payment before and after, they have releases all lined up, the programs director is willing to come down and help with whatever is needed supervision wise for the kids.”  Aelin flipped the binder open to the different graphs and spreadsheets. “If you’d just look it over.”

She was trying desperately to keep her voice even, to keep from shaking and revealing too much, but Aelin could feel a familiar sense of panic rising within her.  This was happening.  He was going to turn her down and she would be left with the solid evidence that she couldn’t even do something as simple as start a therapeutic program on her own.

“Aelin,” Rowan said.  He leaned across the desk and placed a hand on the open binder.  He didn’t even bother to look at the pages of carefully crafted data.  Instead, his stupid green eyes bore into her with what Aelin could only describe as pity.

The bastard was pitying her?

She slid the binder away from him, protective of it and all the work she’d put into its contents.  

“Fine,” she said.  She shouldn’t have been surprised.  In the last seven months of knowing him, he had always been cold and heartless. The kind of person that Aelin should have known better than getting into business with.  He wasn’t any better than—

“I have three conditions,” Rowan said suddenly.

Aelin snapped her eyes back to his.  He couldn’t really mean—

“First, you’ll be expected to pick up extra slack from the workers who already have approved time off for the holiday,” Rowan said, “and you’ll have to convince Lorcan to work over time.”

Aelin blinked at him. “Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“No strings attached?”

“Well, I doubt you’re going to get Lorcan to help.” Rowan shrugged, leaning back in his chair. He paused as if considering what his next words would be. “He doesn’t like helping people very much.”

“I know he doesn’t like me,” Aelin said, her body still thrumming with excitement. “No need to sugar coat it.  What was your third condition?”

Rowan adjusted the cuff of his shirt. “The program director needs to have at least a quarter of the payment to me by tomorrow afternoon.”

“She can have it to you by today,” Aelin said automatically.  She knew that just like her, Lysandra had been waiting for an opportunity like this to come along and had made sure she had sufficient funding all lined up.  Plus, there was Aedion who would go to hell and back if it meant getting Lysandra something she wanted.

Rowan didn’t seem convinced that her words held much weight but he only nodded. “Alright.  Then from the twenty third to January second you’re in charge.”

“Deal.  Done.”  Aelin agreed automatically.  She would have given him the twenty in her wallet and her library card if it would make a difference.  Which it should.  Her library card was worth gold.

Despite his agreement, displeasure was plain to see on Rowan’s face.  He still didn’t like this plan.  Well he could just suck it up.  By the time Aelin was through and was able to execute all the ideas she had—he would see.  This was going to be a brilliant idea, one that could easily become a new tradition for the ranch.

He held out a hand toward her and Aelin stared.  Did he want to shake on this?

“The binder,” he said, one silver brow raised.

Aelin felt a bit of heat rise in her cheeks, but she forced it back.  This binder was her baby.  Quite literally the thing that had pulled her through her master’s program, and hopefully to a doctorate.

“You’re going to be mean to her,” she said.

“It’s a binder.”

“It’s my child.”

Rowan’s lips parted in surprise.  Well, it wasn’t the first time she’d caught him off guard.  It was his turn to stare at her, those green eyes boring into her with such intensity Aelin would have thought he could actually see into her soul.

“I need to know what you’re going to put my ranch through,” he said.

Aelin pursed her lips.  She knew she’d have to relent, but handing over the binder felt like handing over a piece of her and she didn’t think she was ready for that.  Rowan’s hand still wanted expectantly and she glanced down at it.  His palm was upturned and she could see the roughhewn calluses on his fingers and knuckles.  His skin was clean though, the nails neatly trimmed and no dirt tucked in the nail beds.  She’d never quite realized just how big Rowan actually was, in all these months.  And here he was holding out a hand to her and all she could do was stare.

Like a maniac.

She dropped the binder into his hand.  He barely twitched.

“I’ll just wait to hear from your…friend?” he asked.

“Lysandra Cavarre,” Aelin said.  Technically Lysandra Ashryver, but Aelin really didn’t want to go into the complications of last names and what they meant.  She’d made it this far without any association to her past, she could keep it up a while longer.

“Lysandra,” Rowan repeated, committing the name to memory.  He nodded and accepted the binder onto his desk. “I’ll leave you to it then.  You’ve got a lot of work to do if you think Lorcan’s going to agree to this easily.”

“Oh, he’s even more of a bastard than you,” Aelin replied quickly.  She smiled as sweetly as she would if she were talking with someone she liked. “But I’m best friends with his girlfriend.”

With that, Aelin rose from her seat, collecting her bag as she went.  When she reached the door, she turned back and smiled again.

“You won’t regret this.”

Just as she was pulling the door of his office shut behind her, she could have sworn she heard the soft murmur: Mala save me.

Aelin smirked to herself as she walked back through the house.  If she was adding just a little bit of extra misery to Rowans day, she didn’t suppose that would be an issue.  The grumpy buzzard deserved it.

She passed the kitchen where Sellene was sitting at the counter, a pile of books for school in front of her.  Pausing, Aelin rerouted to just say hi to the Whitethorn cousin.

Sellene, a few years older than Aelin’s twenty-five, had always been a staple of the ranch.  Even when she was doing her schooling, she’d taken time off to help raise her younger brother Endymion after their parents passed, she was almost always at the ranch.  Now that Endymion had gone to his own college of choice, Sellene was now able to pursue her own desires.

“Hey, Sel,” Aelin greeted.  She went to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle.

“Hey Aelin,” Sellene said. “Rowan giving you a hard time?”

“Has he always been so cranky?”  Aelin asked.  She sighed and leaned against the counter as she rested her elbows on the granite.  

Across from her, Sellene chuckled. “I guess you could say that.  Just be glad he likes you.”

“Please.” Aelin rolled her eyes. “He hates me.”

“If he hated you, do you think he’d keep you around?” Sellene raised a brow in question. “He’s an ass, but he knows you work hard.”

Aelin wasn’t so sure of that.  Really, she was convinced the only reason Rowan didn’t kick her off the ranch was because there were no other options for therapists to come out into the area.  It had only taken half a day for Rowan to call her in for an interview when she’d first applied.  The job offer came the next day.

“Whatever you say,” Aelin said. “You want to help me piss him off even more?”

Sellene sighed. “I would love to, unfortunately I am going to be headed out to visit Endymion during his break.  It’s harder for him to leave his job.”

Aelin shouldn’t have been surprised.  In the few months she’d been a part of the homestead she’d learned quickly that the Whitethorn cousins were a tight knit group.  Still, it would have been fun to pit Sellene against Rowan at least for a little bit.

“That’ll be fun,” she said.  “I’m sure he misses you.”

“Oh, I plan on embarrassing him to no end,” Sellene replied seriously. “He’s eighteen and thinks he’s the smartest person alive.  The boy’s gotta learn some humility.”

Aelin snorted a laugh.  Honestly, it was the same thing her own cousin would have said about her. 

Sellene shut down her computer sighed. “But I am going to miss this place.  It’s always the best being here during the holidays.  It’ll be weird not to see it all.”

It was a strange sentiment to share and Aelin didn’t quite know how to respond.  But she didn’t have time to ask about it.  It was already getting late in the day and she needed to call Elide to enlist her help.  And then tell Lysandra to send a deposit Rowan’s direction.

“Let me know if you need anything,” Aelin said, she’d have time to get more information from Sellene later.

“Yeah, good luck, Aelin,” Sellene said, smiling softly.

Aelin offered a wave before she hurried out of the house, phone in hand.  

It only rang once before Elide answered.

“Elide?” she asked. “I need your help.”

…

For some reason, Rowan had thought that Aelin wouldn’t succeed in meeting the three conditions he’d set out for her.  Because, really, how would she be able to convince Lorcan of all people to work over time?

He supposed this was his first lesson in not underestimating her because not half an hour after Aelin left his office the morning, he’d approved the project then he got a call from one Lysandra Cavarre asking for routing information that she could send money to.

By the end of the day, he’d gotten a text from Lorcan.

Your girlfriend’s a menace.

Rowan had stared at the message for entirely too long.

Not my girlfriend.

Lorcan’s brief response said more than anything else could: right.

The brief exchange caught Rowan off guard.  Not only for the fact that Lorcan didn’t insult Aelin, but the mere idea of calling her his girlfriend.  She was the bane of his existence.  In the entirety of her time on the ranch she’d demanded change, created chaos, and riled him up with all her little remarks.

Aelin Galathynius sought to drive him insane.  Even when he tried to return the favor, nothing he did seemed enough to deter her.  She only rose to the challenge.  He guessed he could respect her for that.

Three days after striking the deal with Aelin, Rowan woke early, as he usually did, and headed to the stables.  They still had two weeks of preparation before the holidays but there was still plenty to do.  

Rowan dressed quickly before heading to the kitchen where Sellene had left a smoothie and protein bar in the fridge for him.  When there were kids or other guests staying in the cabins, there was a bigger fanfare made for breakfast.  For now, this was usually what he got.  He’d much prefer making his own food, but he always appreciated the effort from Sellene.

He grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl as well and headed out to his truck.  It was barely four-thirty in the morning but that was the life he’d set out for himself.  He’d barely made it down the deck stairs when he noticed the other car sitting in the drive next to his.

Aelin was leaning against the side of her tiny car, wearing a large flannel and jeans tucked into a pair of boots.  In her hands she held two thermoses.  

“What?” She called out to him. “Did you sleep in?”

Rowan crossed the yard toward her. “The sun isn’t even up.”

“Yeah, I hate it.” She took a long sip from one of the thermos’ before thrusting the other at him. “Here.  Black like your soul.”

Rowan stared at the thermos for a minute before he accepted it. “Thanks?”

The morning was dark, not even the horizon had started lighting, yet Rowan could still see the amusement playing in Aelin’s eyes as she watched him.  Her hair hung in a long braid over one shoulder, a few tendrils escaped around her temples.  She didn’t wear any makeup and still there was something so striking about the way she looked.

“It’s not poisoned,” she prompted.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, taking a sip of the coffee.  It was strong and bitter, just as he liked.

“You said I’d need to help pick up the slack,” she said, following him as he walked to his truck. “So here I am.”

If he were being honest, Rowan was surprised.  Aelin had never stuck him as the type to do manual labor.  Or really work for that matter.  Her wealth and status had been obvious the first time he’d met her.  Then there was the car, the designer clothes, the manicures.  When he’d hired her, all he’d received were glowing referrals.  Another surprise.  Even now he was still trying to reconcile his initial impressions of her to who she really was.

“Here you are,” Rowan agreed.  He gave her another once over, unable to help but notice the curve of her hips beneath the open flannel.  Dammit.

Shaking his head, he unlocked the truck.  He could practically hear his mother yelling at him for not opening Aelin’s door for her, but his hands were full.  Besides, Aelin didn’t seem to notice.  She hopped up into the front seat.  Her movements were graceful and easy as though she’d done so a hundred times before.

Rowan settled into his own seat and started the truck up.  There was a small layer of frost on the windshield waiting for them.  His least favorite part of the day was waiting for the heater to get into gear and finally warm up.

“Are you always up so early?” Aelin asked suddenly.  She was huddled in her seat, staving off the chill which was the only thing about the early hour that seemed to be bothering her.

“Yeah,” Rowan said. “Unless Lorcan’s going to be in early.  But I told him to take the later shift until he comes in for your event.”

Aelin hummed at that as she took a long sip of her own coffee. “Interesting.  You should get more sleep.  It’s good for you.”

“I’m in the wrong business for that, princess,” he muttered.

“Don’t call me that,” Aelin said.  She cut him a glare, her lip curling slightly.

“Why not?” he asked.

“Because.”  Another sip of her coffee.

Rowan said nothing and tried clearing the windshield.  It cleared well enough.  He at least wouldn’t be out on the open road, so a few skiffs of remaining ice weren’t the end of the world.  Putting the truck in gear, he backed up a bit before turning.

“Are you always such a morning person?” he asked as they headed down the long drive.

“Hell no.” Aelin made a face. “If I had it my way I wouldn’t get out of bed until noon.  This is my second round of coffee.  Do you have any idea how much I am not looking forward to today?  It’s going to be miserable.  The worst.  I hate mornings.”

She spoke with such vehemence that Rowan wondered if there really was a way for morning to be such a real entity for someone to hate.  It was also amusing, especially the way her nose crinkled in disgust.

“It’s a beautiful morning,” he said, clearing his throat. “You can’t hate that.”

“It’s pitch black and I can see my breath,” she deadpanned.  Sighing she adjusted in her seat. “C’mon, buzzard, you wouldn’t rather be in bed still?  All warm and snuggled up?”

“No,” he said.

Aelin chuckled in that nonsense sort of way she had. “Hmm, right.  Even you have to admit a lazy morning in is fun.  With the right company.”

Rowan stared staunchly forward.  Though, he could still see that insufferable grin of Aelin’s out of the corner of his eye. 

“Ignoring me now?” she pressed.

The sight of the stables had never been more glorious.

“No, you’re just impossible.”

“Thank-you.”

Rowan parked the truck in its usual spot and tried hard not to smile.  He settled with an eye roll.

“Let’s go buzzard,” Aelin said.  She threw the door open and hopped out of the truck. “Show me the ropes.”

If there was one thing Rowan knew to be true—it was going to be a long day.  Though as he clambered out of the truck himself, the thought didn’t seem as heavy as it once may have been.

…

In the end, the day wasn’t bad.  In fact, things ran far smoother than Rowan had been expecting.  He’d thought that by having Aelin shadowing him things would go a lot slower and he’d have trouble getting everything done, but she was a ready student.

She handled feed buckets with ease, tied perfect knots on the first try, she even mucked stalls without complaint.  If Rowan didn’t know any better, he’d have said she’d spent time in a barn before.  A lot of time.  She seemed to know her way around the equipment, knew the terms, and sometimes reacted before he even needed to give instruction.

When he tried to ask her about it, she told him he was insane.  

It wasn’t the first time someone had lied to him, but he figured it wasn’t worth trying to needle the information out of her.

The routine continued for the rest of the week.  Aelin would be at the ranch first thing in the morning with coffee and they’d work all day together until dinner when they’d return to the main house.  

“You know you still have a room in the house, right?” Rowan asked one morning. “You don’t have to do this back and forth.”

“Oh,” Aelin looked out her window as they passed familiar pastures. “I guess…I figured you wouldn’t want me there?  Sellene’s gone and all, why not have the place to yourself?”

It was true, Rowan often enjoyed his time alone unless he went into town to have a drink with Lorcan, Fenrys, and Connall.  A recluse, Aelin had called him on occasion.

The strange thing about it was…Rowan didn’t think he would have minded Aelin being around more.  She drove him mad, more often than not, but even in the last few weeks (days really) there had been a subtle shift.  One that he didn’t know how to identify.

“Your friend is coming with the new group of kids, right?” Shifting the conversation seemed the safer option so he didn’t hesitate.

“She and her husband,” Aelin agreed, he didn’t miss the look she gave him. “They were planning on staying at the house, if that’s still alright?”

“Yeah, we’ve got plenty of space,” Rowan said.  The house was enormous with five separate rooms and four bathrooms.  His great-grandfather had always wanted a home to welcome as many guests as possible so new additions were added on continuously in the early years.  His own parents had hoped to keep the house full of children.  In the end, it was only Rowan who waged war upon the floorboards.

Aelin nodded absently, her fingers drumming on her thermos absently. “I’ll come up with them and stay the week before and during.”

“Alright,” Rowan said.  The drive to the stables that morning was the same as ever with only another light dusting of snow falling from the sky.  As late December encroached, it wouldn’t surprise him if they were due for a storm.

“They’ll be coming tomorrow, I think,” Aelin said, “Lys and Aedion.”

Rowan started. “Aedion Ashryver?”

In her seat, Aelin visibly flinched.  She covered it almost seamlessly as she tossed her hair over her shoulder and sat up a little straighter.

“He’s an ass,” Aelin told him. “Though, very good looking.”

Rowan could only stare.  The Ashryvers were practically celebrities in the world of horses and ranch work.  Evalin and her sister Andra made waves when they were young for their work in showing horses, not just in contemporary riding, but racing, and rodeo.  They’d set a standard for those that would come after as they changed the equestrian world for years to come.

He didn’t know much of what had happened to either woman after they’d aged out.  Only that they continued to run a ranch out in the countryside of Terrasen for breeding and training.  He knew there had been a scandal of some sort five or six years ago involving a rider and a trainer, but the story evaded him.

When they got to the stables, Lorcan’s own truck was already there and he’d turned on the floodlights to help beckon in the rising dawn.  They were still a week out from when the Christmas group of kids would come, so Lorcan shouldn’t have even been there.

Rowan glanced at Aelin who didn’t seem the least bit surprised at the sight.

“How did you get him to agree to this?” Rowan asked.

“I can be very convincing,” Aelin replied simply. “And Elide.”

Not sure he wanted to know the full details in that, Rowan let the rest of the conversation drop.

As always, Lorcan remained in his quiet way.  He went about his usual duties without comment, only nodding in acknowledgment as Rowan and Aelin entered the stables.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping in?” Rowan asked.  He rested his keys on the rack beside the doors, not yet ready to take off his coat to the morning chill.

“Couldn’t,” Lorcan replied with a shrug.  He nodded to Aelin. “Regretting your choices yet?”

“Nope.”  Aelin smiled brightly.  She took a long sip of her coffee and went to the row of shelves reserved for personal items.  

Lorcan shot Rowan a look that he ignored.  They’d had plenty of conversations about Aelin and the week she had planned for the holiday.  Besides, if Lorcan couldn’t say no to Aelin (even if Elide wasn’t a factor) they were both idiots.

Knowing better than to try and tease Lorcan about how quickly he’d fallen for Elide, he crossed the stables to where his friend was working on preparing some equipment.

“What’ve you already taken care of?” He and Aelin had gotten a slightly late start for the day--a mix of him waking up late and the frost and Aelin needing to steal breakfast from him. 

“Not much,” Lorcan admitted, “everything’s pretty much good.  The vet’s coming around for check-ups this afternoon.”

“Do you know how the cabins are looking?”

Lorcan shrugged. “Probably about the same as when the last group left.”

That shouldn’t have surprised him. “We’ll go take a look then come back to help prep for the vet visit.”

“Sure,” Lorcan said.  He glanced to where Aelin was kneeling before the ranch pig, dubbed Ex because it had been Endymion’s turn to pick a name.  The finalists of names fell between Frank and Excali-wilbur and Endymion did not disappoint.  “Have you told her yet?”

Rowan scowled. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Sure,” Lorcan said, scraping off a bit of dirt from an old bridle set. “Keep telling yourself that.”

The words sat heavy with Rowan the rest of the day.  He knew that Lorcan just liked screwing with him on occasion.  But there was also a part of him that worried if there was truth to Lorcan’s ominous words.  He really didn’t see what it mattered though--whether he was going to sell the ranch or not was his own business.

He really didn’t see what the difference was if he continued to owned the ranch or not.  Sellene and Endymion hadn’t expressed any in taking the land over for themselves and they were the only living relatives Rowan knew about.  Theirs were the only opinions that mattered.

Still, by the time he and Aelin finished getting the cabins ready for the guests in the coming weeks, he couldn’t help but feel a niggling sense of guilt.  He kept tamping it down of course.

It wasn’t until mid-day that the vet came around that Rowan was finally able to turn his thoughts in different directions.  They had two pregnant mares in the stables that year which was the biggest concern Rowan had.  They’d both foaled before but there was still plenty of room for things to go wrong.  Besides them, there were six other horses to be looked over.  It was usually a two-day affair, especially when weather got a little dodgy, but the vet seemed confident they’d finish up by the end of the day.

While the vet was in with Farasha, Rowan realized he hadn’t seen Aelin for a bit.  He might have had his misgivings about her, but she’d proven herself to be responsible and attentive in all her recent duties.  Even if she didn’t like horses.

Rowan glanced around the main floor of the stables before heading to the back stalls where the two pregnant mare’s were settled.  It was the warmest part of the large barn with the largest stalls.  His boots scuffed in a bit of hay as he went and he almost missed the soft voice talking to the horses.

Diana and Hessina, thankfully got along alright.  Sometimes pregnant mares could get a little feisty with each other, but the two had been inseparable when they’d been born the same season almost six years ago now.  Rowan remembered the day.

He stopped just outside Hessina’s stall and what he saw made him question just about everything he thought he knew.

Standing in Hessina’s stall with a set of brushes and other items was Aelin.  She carefully ran a curry brush over Hessina’s coat in methodic movements.  All the while she continued to talk softly to the mare.

“Alright, mama,” Aelin said, “let’s get you cleaned up.  You deserve it don’t you?  Especially before baby gets here, huh?  Look at you so pretty standing here for me.”

For a minute, Rowan thought he’d wandered into an alternate reality.  In all the months of her being on the ranch, Aelin had never approached one of the horses so willingly.  She’d kept her distance from the barn and the animals beside the pig and the goats.  He’d never have expected her to spend time with any of the horses, let alone grooming them.  And doing so with obvious practice and ease.

“I thought you hated horses?” he found himself saying.

Aelin froze.  It was the first time he’d ever caught her off guard.

“I never said that,” she replied.  She traded out brushes and ran a shedding blade over Hessina next. 

“You’ve never spent more than a minute with any of the horses in all the time you’ve been here,” Rowan said.

He entered the stall and grabbed a brush to use on Hessina’s mane.  Somehow, no matter what he or any of the stable hands tried, the long hair always got tangled even if they were careful to brush it the day before.

“That doesn’t mean I hate them,” Aelin said.  Her voice was soft, lilting in that way she’d used when she was addressing Hessina specifically. “Not when they’re such pretty girls.”

Her long fingers ran over Hessina’s sides, pausing over the swell of the mare’s belly.  It seemed as though she knew exactly how to handle a horse.  Or at least where to massage a pregnant mare’s muscles effectively or how to run a flat brush over the coat to leave it gleaming.  Truth be told, he’d never seen Hessina looked as relaxed as she did now under Aelin’s ministrations.  No matter what Aelin said, she was a natural.

Rowan tugged at Hessina’s mane with as much care as he could.  But he noted the twitch of her ears.

“Sorry,” he murmured, knowing he’d pulled too hard.  He glanced back to Aelin. “Seriously, you’ve never spent this much time with the horses before.  You know how to care for them.  And you can make a decent knot.  I thought you were a city girl?”

Aelin shrugged, walking to Hessina’s other side. “I am a city girl.”

“No.” Rowan shook his head. “There’s more to you than that.”

They stood across from each other now, more or less.  And Aelin wouldn’t meet his gaze as she brushed out Hessina’s other side.  Her lips thinned and Rowan knew she was thinking deeply on something.  

“I used to read all the horse books I could,” she finally said, “made my mom buy them all for me.  I had a whole bookshelf devoted to them.  And then I grew up.”

Her hands paused, fingers grazing over a few stray bits of Hessina’s mane.  A stray thought took her mind far away from that place.  Far enough that she stopped brushing entirely.  Hessina took offense to that and nickered, dipping her head back towards Aelin.

Chuckling, Aelin reached out and scratched the mare’s nose before she continued brushing.

“What about you, Whitethorn,” she asked, blue eyes sparking with delight as she finally looked at him. “Were you always in a horse boy phase or did it come suddenly?”

He rolled his eyes. “I grew up on this ranch, it’s all I know.”

Aelin paused at his words.  She looked as though she wanted to something, but the words were lost on her.  Instead, she shook her head and nodded at his work.

“You’re making that worse, aren’t you?”

“No,” he said defensively.

No matter what he said though, Aelin came over to take a look at the work he was doing on the mane.

“A girl’s pride is in her hair,” she said, whether to him or Hessina, Rowan had no idea.  

He could only watch as Aelin took over detangling and brushing.  Her hands were soft as she tugged and brushed.  Occasionally she would murmur something and give the mare an affectionate pat on the neck.

What he didn’t notice was how close he and Aelin were standing, not at first.  But the second he realized it; it was all he could think about.  He could feel the warmth radiating off of her and he could still smell the lemon verbena of her shampoo in her hair.  Even with the bit of sweat and dirt that lingered on her skin.

There was something about watching the methodical way she worked that was mesmerizing.  Nothing seemed to frustrate her as she went even when something didn’t detangle immediately or if she had to make a bigger mess in order to get things right.  She would only hum under her breath and continue.

“Do you—” she began to speak and spun almost directly into him.  She made a small noise of surprise and stumbled just a bit before Rowan reached out to steady her.  “Hell.  Sorry.”

She blinked up at him with those bright blue eyes and he noticed a ring of gold around the pupils adding to that light that always seemed to illuminate her.

Gripping her arms, he waited until she regained her footing before slowly pulling away.

“You good?”

Aelin nodded; mouth parted slightly as though she were about to say something.

The illusion shattered when Lorcan called out from the main stable.

“Whitethorn, get out here!”

It was probably better that way—for Rowan to leave Aelin there.  She turned back to Hessina and kept talking with those soft words and gentle inflections.  Whatever spell had been over them was long gone.  Though that was for the better.  Rowan didn’t need to get close to Aelin.  Not now.

So, he tried to forget about the last ten minutes and went to help Lorcan with whatever it was he needed.

…

When she was eighteen, Aelin had her first serious crush.

It was different than all the other little sparks she’d ever gotten before.  It was different, new, and completely reckless.  Oh, she’d never acted on it, not exactly.  And maybe it was better that way.  Because in the coming year (and several years after) Aelin would come to realize that boys, men, would never treat her well.  Especially not the ones that had country written into their bones.

So when she came to Whitethorn ranch at the beginning of the summer, she’d told herself it was for the experience.  It was for the work she loved.  It was for the kids who needed help.

And then there was Rowan.

They’d clashed the entirety of their working relationship and Aelin really didn’t know how she’d lasted as long as she did.  And here she was now, on the brink December and the New Year right around the corner.  

She sighed and straightened the small room designated for her at the main house.  Rowan had let her off for the two days leading up to the main camp days when Lysandra and Aedion would be arriving.  

The room was the next biggest aside from the master suite that Rowan slept in.  With its own bathroom and the large window that overlooked the back western side of the ranch with the mountains in the distance—Aelin loved it.

It was already decorated with a few things of the Whitethorn family.  A few black and white photos from the early days, hand embroidery frames, and a few porcelain figures in the inlaid shelving.  It was simple and homey and for whatever reason, Aelin didn’t feel the need to change anything.  Except for the piles of books and a few pictures of her own family.

As she straightened things up, and prepared the bedroom across the hall for Lys and Aedion, she couldn’t help but think of the last few days with Rowan.

She didn’t know how it was possible, but they hadn’t killed each other.  There weren’t even any attempts.  Sure, their words held just as many barbs as before, but it felt different.  Or maybe she was just hoping there was something different.  

For as much as she complained about how small Oakwald was and how difficult working on the ranch and the therapy work here was--she wanted to make this home.  She wanted this to be a place she could put down roots.  Here, no one knew her past.  No one knew who her family was.  No one knew every little detail about who she was other than simple being Aelin.

Her phone started ringing at the same time a series of honks echoed from the front of the house.  Grinning, Aelin answered the phone already knowing who was on the other line.

“Are you here?” she demanded.

“Bitch, what do you think?” Lysandra said on the other line.  In the background Aelin could hear Aedion: stop honking the horn, Lys.  She knows.

“I’ll be down in a second,” Aelin chuckled.

She flew from her room and down the stairs of the house.  She barely bothered with the slippers waiting by the front door before she threw the front door open.

The SUV hadn’t even come to a full stop before the passenger door opened and Lysandra got out.  Her long dark hair hung loose and she wore a simple gray sweater and jeans.  She screamed when she saw Aelin and ran across the yard toward her.

Aelin met her halfway, pulling her friend into a hug.

“I’ve missed you so much!” Lysandra was saying as she continued to hug Aelin. “It’s been so boring without you.”

“I’m sorry I left you alone with Aedion,” Aelin teased.  She pulled back, grinning.

Aedion huffed as he came around the SUV.  His blond hair, so similar to Aelin’s, long enough to just barely fit into a low tie, his handsome features slightly distorted with a scowl.

“I love you too, Aelin,” he said, trying and failing to hold his disapproving look.

Aelin launched herself at her cousin.  It had been a while since they’d seen each other between work and distance.  But she was grateful he had chosen to come and help both her and Lys.

“You do love me,” she insisted, “I introduced you to your wife, after all.”

Aedion pulled back with a roll of his eyes. “Yes, I’m forever in your debt.”

“I know,” Aelin said seriously.  She then turned and linked arms with Lysandra. “C’mon, I’ve got a room ready for you.”

Her friend didn’t immediately follow through, instead turning in the cold morning air, taking in the sweeping blue skies and acres and acres of land surrounding them.

“Seriously, Aelin, where are we?  This feels like a step out of time.”

She’d thought the same thing when first arriving. “It’s better in summer and you're not freezing your butt off.”

Indeed, during the winter the sun could be out and bright and happy like it was now, but it was still cold enough to want to literally crawl into a fireplace and never come back out like some sort of dragon.  

Aedion offered to get the bags, letting Aelin and Lysandra head up to the house.

“So,” Lysandra said as they went to the kitchen. “Where’s Rowan?”

Aelin rolled her eyes. “He’s at the stables finishing things up.”

“But he’ll be here later?” Lysandra pressed; one brow raised.

“Yes.”

“And you’ve been sleeping under the same roof and nothing’s happened?” Lysandra scoffed and accepted a proffered glass of water.

“Please, Lys, he’s my boss.  And an ass.” Aelin turned to find snacks or something else to offer while her cheeks flushed at Lysandra’s words.

“Mm-hm,” Lysandra hummed with obvious doubt.  “I’ve looked him up, he’s hot.”

“Lysandra!” Aelin spun on her friend who let out a cackle. 

“You should see your face,” Lysandra laughed. “You know I’m right.”

“He’s made my life miserable,” Aelin said, “and, like I said, he’s an ass.”

“Right.”  Lysandra merely sipped her water and sighed. “You keep saying that.”

Much to Aelin’s appreciation, Aedion entered the house, bags in hand.  She left Lysandra in the kitchen and showed Aedion to the room she’d set up for the two of them.  It was the one room just a little more isolated than the others, but that just made it feel a little cozier.  Which she didn’t think they’d mind.

From there, the rest of the day was relatively nice.  Even with Lysandra’s continued teasing about Rowan.  Thankfully, she kept most of it up when Aedion wasn’t around.

Aelin gave them a tour of the house and immediate grounds before heading out to the cabins reserved for the kids that would be arriving in the next several days.

She and Lysandra were able to go over the various activities and group sessions and plan out where each would take place and how transport would work.  Thankfully, the main house was a good central point and should the weather stay nice, walking wouldn’t be an issue.

“There’s supposed to be a storm,” Aelin said at one point, “but they’ve been saying it would happen for two weeks now, and nothing.  I think it’ll just hit Denver and move on.”

That was the hope.  But Aelin wouldn’t let herself worry about a snow storm right now.  They had a contingency plan in place, but the weather had been cooperating thus far that she doubted it would be an issue.

Later that night as they were fixing dinner, Aedion broke out his excellent cooking skills with a chicken and vegetable skillet, Rowan finally returned home. 

“Welcome back, Buzzard!” Aelin called when she heard the door open and shut.  She also heard the way he paused while trying to decide if he could get out of being social. “We just made dinner, come join us.”

Lysandra shot her a look, but Aelin ignored it.  Instead, she got an extra plate ready as Rowan slowly trudged into the kitchen.

“This is Lysandra and Aedion,” Aelin said, “Lys founded the group that we’re hosting next week.  And her husband, Aedion, is the muscle.”

She didn’t know why she didn’t mention that Aedion was her cousin, but the admission just felt off.  Aelin had spent so long distancing herself from her mother’s name and the attention that it got that it just felt natural not to bring it up.  Besides, that wasn’t the point of this visit or the event they’d worked so hard on.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Rowan said, he didn’t smile, but Aelin supposed him joining them all for dinner was good enough.

“We’re just running through the week,” Aelin said.  She handed him his plate which he accepted. “Is there anything you wanted to talk about with the itinerary I gave you?”

Rowan didn’t answer immediately.  He settled in his seat next to her and took a bite of his food, thinking.  Or just avoiding talking.

“Nah,” he said after a minute. “Everything looks fine.  There’s going to be ten kids in total?”

“Maybe eight,” Lysandra spoke up, “it’s a little hard to get exact numbers right now.  Some kids are being shuffled so close to the holidays and their guardians are being…difficult.” She made a disgruntled sort of face. “But I know for sure eight of them are ready to go.  The other two we’re waiting on some consent forms.”

It wasn’t anything surprising to Aelin. But they would make the best of it and hopefully all the kids they’d planned for would come.

“There’s plenty of room no matter who chooses to come,” Rowan said, “so that’s not a problem.”

“You said you’re not going to be around on the Friday after Christmas though, right?” Aelin asked.  He hadn’t told her why or what he was doing, just that there was business on the ranch that needed taking care of.  She thought better than asking for more details especially when he was so guarded about the affair in general.

Rowan paused for a heartbeat in his ravenous eating and Aelin almost wouldn’t have noticed if not for the way his eyes skirted to hers and dipped away just as quickly.

“I’ve got a meeting planned most of the day,” he said, “but if anything goes wrong—”

“They’ll be fine.” Aedion spoke up with a wave of his hand. “If there’s anyone who knows how to embrace chaos to her advantage it’s Aelin.”

Aelin rolled her eyes, passing the water pitcher around the table. “I stole my dad’s truck once and it worked out fine.”

“I’m talking about the time you set off all those fireworks and nearly set the house on fire, but thanks for proving my point.”  Aedion grinned at her glare.

Rowan only shook his head from beside her. “What the hell kind of childhood did you have?”

“Normal, perfectly normal.” Aelin said.  Desperate to keep the conversation moving and away from any revelation of how she and Aedion were related, she kept talking.  “Besides, none of that will be happening this week.  I didn’t have time to find any fireworks.”

“Please,” Lysandra said, “you don’t even try not to cause problems.  Remember in college you stole that frats keg?”

“Because Archer Finn plagiarized my report on Edgar Allen--you know, he was an ass that’s all that matters.” Aelin had done a lot of questionable things in the name of justice.  But stealing that keg was damn near the top of the list considering the fact she nabbed it in the middle of the biggest party of the semester.  Truly remarkable. “So it was less of a problem and more karma calling his name.”

“So,” Rowan said, glancing over at her, “you really have been a menace all these years?”

She should have been affronted by his teasing but with the way he was actually smiling with amusement burning in his eyes and the levity of the night—Aelin found she couldn’t be mad.  Because here, for this small moment, Aelin wasn’t scared about what the future might hold.

…

Despite the teasing of her cousin and Lysandra, Aelin really did exist best in chaos.  She wasn’t at all intimidated when the week officially started for the outreach program.  She didn’t even have panicked stress dreams about it either.  Everything had been planned out in detail.  It was going to be a success.

And everything her friends had done to help make it possible just warmed Aelin all the more.  Between all that Lysandra and Aedion did on their end, to Elide volunteering her days when she wasn’t needed at the bar, and Lorcan willfully helping out (through whatever bribery Elide had offered), everything started off without a hitch.

The thing about therapy that Aelin loved the most was the breakthroughs.  The understanding that came with trauma and healing.  It was often a long hard journey, but it happened.  And when you worked with kids?  It made the work all the better.

The week wouldn’t be focused on the talk therapy of it all though.  Mostly they’d be going on hikes, cooking in the main house, learning about the horses and caring for them, and then a little of the therapy side.  This week was about feeling safe and finding joy in an otherwise hard spot of life and Aelin was determined to help offer that bit of peace.

After all the kids arrived, twelve total and ranging from twelve to seventeen years old, everything continued as expected.  The kids were paired off closer to their ages into the two different cabins and it all seemed to be working for the best.

Aelin found that two of the younger kids, Evangeline and Luca, were the more hesitant of being there.  Despite Luca’s outgoing nature, Aelin could tell there was a bit of worry in his attitude as he always seemed to look to her for approval in any of the activities they did.  Evangeline always sidled over to Lysandra.  It wasn’t a strange occurrence, just one they needed to be careful with.

Though, if Aelin knew Lysandra like she did, her friend had done work with Evangeline before and was fiercely protective of her now.  

“How many s’mores can these kids eat?” Rowan asked one night.

They were having an outdoor campfire with s’mores and other treats while Elide of all people told scary stories.

“Sugar is an essential food group, buzzard,” Aelin reminded him, “especially for teens.”

They stood just a bit away from the fire pit outside two of the cabins, just far enough away to not be distracting.  It was Thursday meaning the week would officially finish out on Monday and the ranch would be able to return to its usual winter hours and day to day functions.  Aelin was a little upset by the idea, but she was sure Rowan was as giddy as he could be over the prospect.

“I thought that was just you,” Rowan said.

Aelin kicked him with the toe of her boot.  If her hands hadn’t been stuffed into the pockets of her coat, she might have flipped him off.

“Ha, ha,” she said. 

“Seriously,” Rowan continued, “I’ve seen the stash you think you’re hiding in the kitchen.”

“Chocolate is good for the soul,” Aelin sniffed, “and I recommend the occasional indulgence as a therapist.”

Rowan shook his head, looking out over the fields behind them.  A ghost of a smile fell across his lips and even in the flickering shadows of the fire, Aelin thought it was the most beautiful sight.

“Occasional indulgence, sure,” he murmured. 

“We can’t all love kale as much as you do,” Aelin said.  She’d seen what he came home with from the store.  Kale and zucchini and any myriad of health foods.

He only smiled at her and Aelin felt it like a punch to the gut.  She had no idea what had happened in the last few weeks, but somewhere along the way the loathing had simmered away to…appreciation?  Admiration?  Whatever the feeling was, she didn’t know where it came from, but it was here all the same.

“Thank-you for agreeing to this Rowan,” she said, before she could lose her nerve. “For agreeing to let us host this week and letting these kids come here.  I know it’s not the most convenient thing.  But I know it means a lot to them.”

And me, she added silently.

His smile fell just a touch. “Aelin—”

Whatever else he was about to say was swallowed up by Lysandra announcing it was time to head off to bed.  The quiet contentment of the night disbanded as the kids all voiced their complaints and pleads for another story.  Apparently Elide’s tales about bloodthirsty witches were all the rage.

But it was well nearing eleven and they’d all been up late enough as it was and Aelin herself was exhausted.  They rounded everybody up and had them filter off to their cabins.  Elide and Lorcan would serve as chaperones that night, giving Lysandra and Aedion a break.

Hopefully it would put a stop to a small issue growing between Luca and one of the other boys, Aelin didn’t know all the details as Luca refused to talk further about it, but she was worried nonetheless.  And even if she wasn’t sure about the idea of Lorcan as a chaperone, Rowan assured her that he was surprisingly good with kids.  Aelin decided she would trust Rowan on that front, and let the issue slide.  For now.

…

Friday dawned dark and chilly.  The sky was full of gray clouds that stretched as far as the eye could see.  It made Aelin feel boxed in even if there was still just as much open air as before.  But those clouds hung low and didn’t budge.

She tried to not let it bother her, it was bound to happen eventually.  And in this area the weather was always changing.  By the afternoon there would be a break in the clouds and the sun would return.  Or else they’d just get a light skiff of snow.

The day was being treated as a small rest day, of sorts.  The kids had helped cook breakfast for everyone, played a few games outside, and they were now headed out to the stables to help build a shed for the goats.  

It was less of build and more of a supervision.  If the kids wanted to help they could, if not, Aelin had it on good authority the goats enjoyed chasing people as a game.  Plus, one of the stable hands that had volunteered to help out was a master sling-shot expert and could take the kids to the side of the barn to practice their skills (on non-living targets).  

They got to the stables just after lunch and clean-up.  This was going to fill most of the rest of the day and then lead into a few individual sessions with the kids.  No one had mentioned that it was Christmas or anything of the sort and none of the kids seemed to be having any major issues.  But Aelin wanted to have a chance to talk with them and see if this week had helped them at all.  From what she could tell it hadn’t done any irreparable damage, but kids could be excellent at masking their emotions if they really wanted to.

As the building commenced, Aelin took note of Rowan’s truck outside the stables in its usual spot.  Beside it was another car, a Tesla of all things.  She’d thought Rowan was supposed to be in a business meeting, not at the stables.

She made sure the kids were all occupied doing what they were supposed to, or at least just having fun, before she walked over to where Lorcan was exchanging water for one of the troughs.

“Is Rowan here today?” she asked without preamble.

Lorcan raised a brow and leaned against the fence, balancing the empty blue water barrel beside him.  “What?”

“Rowan,” she said, gesturing to his truck. “I didn’t think he would be on the property today.”

Looking away from her, Lorcan ran a hand over his jaw.  It was obvious he was trying to decide what to say exactly and that made trepidation rise in Aelin’s throat.

“He’s here, I can’t tell you more than that though.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” Lorcan said, pushing off of the fence, “that you can talk to Rowan about it.”

He walked away then, leaving Aelin to mull over the words that she already didn’t like.  She watched him trek back to the stables and a part of her expected to see Rowan walking out as though waiting for that exact moment.

It was foolish, she knew.  Whatever worry was gnawing at her gut was unfounded and she didn’t need to get caught up on this.

Aelin forced herself back to where the kids were helping out with nails and plywood, a few had wandered off to stack crates together which the goats started climbing on with ease.  She came to a stop beside Lysandra, stuffing her hands into her coat against another stiff breeze.  The air smelled cold, if that could even be a scent.  But she didn’t know how else to describe that stiff, clean sterility.

“What’s up?” Lysandra asked, leaning into her.

“Nothing,” Aelin replied, glancing one more time at the stables.  “Nothing, it’s fine.”

Lysandra didn’t look convinced.  She remained quiet though as she returned her attention out to the paddock of goats and kids.

Aelin did her best to try and pay attention to the kids and offer encouragement and commentary where needed, but her mind was elsewhere.  Which, she knew was stupid.  She shouldn’t be thinking about Rowan and what was going on with him and his “business meeting” if that’s what was really going on.  And she shouldn’t even care whether or not it was for business.  Right?

A part of her did care though.  A part of her wondered what his meeting was about and why he hadn’t gone into detail about it with her.  She knew they weren’t technically business partners, but she did a lot of work for him all the same.  And the things that she did were specific to the business and therapy modem that Whitethorn ranch was known for.  Shouldn’t she be at least a little involved?

Half an hour later, Aelin had almost completely distracted herself until she heard the sound of Rowan’s low voice.  She spun towards it, already knowing what she would say to him.  But the second she turned it wasn’t Rowan that caught her attention.  It was the well-dressed man walking beside him.

Aelin felt her entire body seize up as a cold numbness swept through her.  Static crackled in her ears and her mouth went dry.

Because there beside Rowan was the man who had ruined Aelin’s life.

With auburn hair hanging loose around his face and gray suit that never seemed to wrinkle or stain--Arobynn Hamel looked the same as the day Aelin last saw him.  She still hadn’t been released from the hospital after the accident, still unsure if she’d be able to walk again, and still unsure what her life would look like.  But she’d held on to hope.  She’d held on long enough for him to come and place blame directly on her shoulders before sauntering away as though he couldn’t have cared less about what happened to her.

She’d been nineteen then.  Nineteen and convinced that he was supposed to be the answer to all her problems.  That was the thing about glorifying people when you were a kid, you never understood just what a dangerous game that was.

She tried reaching out for Lysandra, but her friend had entered the goat paddock to help hold a few boards in place.  She was alone.  Alone and watching the second Arobynn saw her.  He immediately made a b-line towards her.

“Well, well,” Arobynn said as he approached.  Just as he’d always been, he had that cold arrogance about him.  It was the same sort of swagger than everyone in their circles had.  The kind of money and stature, that he was better than everyone else around him.  He had to be in his mid-thirties now.  Though, he didn’t look it.  He was just as handsome as ever. “Aelin.  What a pleasant surprise.”

Aelin had to swallow before she could answer.  Swallow and look past that perfectly charming smile he wore. “Hamel.  What are you doing here?”

Arobynn merely smiled, stretching his arms. “You don’t know?  Rowan and I are in the midst of a business deal.”

Behind Arobynn, Rowan appeared.  He looked just the same as he always did: brooding, stoic, and pissed to hell and back.  His green eyes flicked between Aelin and Arobynn, scowl deepening.

Aelin felt the pit in her stomach grow and she swore she was going to vomit.  She did her best to remain in control of her emotions as she looked at Rowan.

“What deal, Rowan?” she asked.  Though, she already knew the answer, didn't she?

“I’m buying the land,” Arobynn answered before Rowan could. “I’ve been expanding my business, didn’t you know?”

No, she didn’t.  Because Aelin had done everything in her power to avoid anything that had to do with Hamel in the last several years.  

As though sensing her distress, Arobynn flashed another sharp smile. “I look forward to working with you again, Aelin.  Just like old times, isn’t it?”

There was nothing she could say.  She couldn’t trust herself not to yell or scream or cry or any combination of the three.  That would be showing weakness.  And she was not weak.

“I’ll have my attorney look over your offer,” Rowan said quietly, drawing Hamel’s attention again. “We’ll be in contact.”

“Good,” Arobynn said, “I’d rather see this done sooner than later.  Whitethorn.”

Without any semblance of pleasantries, Arobynn left them and returned to his car.  That stupid silver Tesla that looked like a box and had no business being out on a farm.  For all Aelin cared it could go crash in a borough and get waylaid by hay and snow.  It wasn’t until the car silently pulled away and back down that Aelin felt her own voice return.

“You’re selling?” It was more of an accusation than anything.

Rowan straightened; arms still crossed over his chest. “Yes.”

“Why?” At least her voice wasn’t shaking.  At least she still sounded somewhat in control.

“Because I have to,” Rowan replied, but he looked away from her and Aelin knew that wasn’t the truth of it. “The why doesn’t even matter Aelin, you wouldn’t understand.”

A laugh escaped her.  Of course she wouldn’t.  Because she’d only been here a few short months, she wasn’t really a part of the life here or any of where the ranch had come from.  But she’d still put her blood, sweat, and tears into the ranch.  She’d wanted to see it succeed, that’s why Rowan had even hired her as a part time trauma specialist, wasn’t it?

“I know enough about this place,” she said, “it’s a staple of the community, of honest good work that no one else does, Rowan.  I know that much.  I understand that much.  That it’s helped more people get unstuck from life than just about any other program I’ve seen.”

He only shook his head, hand running through his hair.  The silver locks fell over his brow and for a moment, for one brief moment, Aelin thought she saw a part of him that she could reconcile with.  A softer allusion of the hard contours that Rowan often displayed.

“My reasons are my own,” he said firmly.  His eyes sparked with anger as he watched her. “And it doesn’t really matter beyond that. I can't keep doing this.  And--why do you even care?  It won’t even affect you that much.  Hamel’s going to keep it as a horse ranch mostly, and agrees with the work going on.  I don't think he'd change much.  He obviously likes you, so you can do whatever you want.”

Aelin couldn’t hide her flinch.  She tucked her arms around her middle more as an effort of protection and hiding than anything else. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Please, Aelin.  You don’t need me here,” Rowan said, “this place will do well enough without me.”

“So you’re giving up?” She could only stare at him.  This wasn’t the Rowan Whitethorn she’d come to know, the one that she fought with on a daily basis.  This was someone else entirely.

“It’s none of your business, Aelin.”

“I’m a part of this ranch, aren’t I?  I’ve been here for months, and for what?”

“I never asked you to stick around.”  Rowan let out an exasperated huff. 

“He’s not a good man, Rowan,” Aelin said.  Most of the fight had gone out of her, replaced with dread and pain. “You don’t want him buying this land, your home.”

“He’s rich, what does it matter?”  Rowan pressed. “He’ll be able to do more with this place than I ever could.”

Aelin could only shake her head.  Yes, Arobynn was rich.  Rich enough that he could whatever he wanted, consequences be damned.  She tilted her head up just in time to catch a snowflake on her cheek.  The small chill was electrifying on her hot skin.  Slowly, more flakes continued to fall, fat and thick it looked like the forecast had finally chosen to be right.

“I can’t do this,” she finally said, “I’m going to check on the kids.”

She didn’t wait for Rowan to try and call her back.  She didn’t realize until she was entering the goat paddock that she had wanted him to.

…

It wasn’t until later that night as the kids were eating that Aelin had a moment to talk with Lysandra.  The snow had picked up and continued to fall throughout the afternoon driving them all inside, which after a week full of activities and being outside continually--it was a welcome break.

They were inside one of the cabins, pizza and soda spread out for the kids to enjoy.  Almost everything about the day had gone well.  If you didn’t count the Hamel matter.  The distraction and reality of what her life was spiraling towards wasn’t the best way to head into individual sessions, but Aelin had learned long ago how to compartmentalize.

Now, she was able to feel a little more relaxed as she and Lysandra were able to sit back while the kids started a terrible round of UNO.

“He’s so lucky I didn’t see him,” Lysandra said around a mouthful of pizza. “I would have kicked him in the balls then dragged his ass around from the back of a tractor, you know I would’ve.”

“I know,” Aelin assured her.

She picked at her pizza, appetite long since gone.  All she could think about was the fact that she’d seen and spoken with Hamel.  And she’d survived it.  

It was strange, being faced with a reality you thought was finally put behind you.  But that was life, wasn’t it?  You just kept learning the same lesson over and over again.  She just wondered what she was supposed to learn this time around.

“Did he say anything to Rowan?” Lysandra asked. “Does Rowan know anything?”

“I hope not,” Aelin said.  That would just be icing on the cake.  

Her past was a mess as it was.  Rehashing it and telling her side of things after someone had already been exposed to the lies of the story—well it wouldn’t do any good.

Still, Aelin didn’t want to think that Rowan knew about what had transpired.  Or if he’d think any different about her over it.  Most people did when they learned the truth and even if she was mad at him, Aelin didn’t think she could bear Rowan looking at her any different.

The story began back when she was sixteen.  Sixteen and in the throes of series equestrian training.  And she wasn’t the type to show in the dressage.  Aelin was a competitive rider in barrel racing, jumping, and the grittier events.  Her former trainer had just moved and who was to fill the position than Arobynn Hamel.

His methods were brutal and his words were cruel.  But young as she was, Aelin could only see what he could make of her.  And her parents had been none the wiser either.

Even after the drugs and borderline abuse.

Aelin shook off the memories. “It doesn’t matter if Rowan knows or not, does it?  He isn’t going to stick around.  He made that clear.”

“Are you going to stay,” Lysandra asked.  Her voice was painfully soft and Aelin had a hard time meeting her friend’s eyes.

“No.  I can’t…I can’t be around Hamel again, Lys.”  Aelin set her uneaten pizza aside. “After everything…I thought I finally had a place, you know?  That this was a good fit for me.  Even if Rowan’s an ass and doesn’t like me.  I liked the work.”

“Maybe if you talked—”

“No.” Aelin shook her head, cutting Lysandra off before she could even begin. “Rowan won’t talk it out.  He’d just sell the place faster if it meant getting rid of me.”

Lysandra sighed. “I don’t think you’re giving him enough credit.”

Aelin narrowed her eyes. “Whose side are you on?”

Lysandra didn’t answer, instead waving as Elide walked through the door, leaving a blistering trail of snow outside behind her.

“I hope it’s alright to stop by,” Elide said with a smile.  She grabbed a piece of pizza and settled between Aelin and Lysandra. “Lorcan’s still finishing up at the stables.”

“Good,” Lysandra said, moving over so Elide had plenty of space. “We need to talk sense into Aelin.”

“I’m not a miracle worker, you know,” Elide replied.  She grinned all the same and nudged Aelin’s leg with her foot. “What kind of sense are we talking?”

Aelin groaned, shaking her head.  One of the counselors took a few of the kids to the other cabin to prepare for bed.  It was nearing that time where they would all turn in.  The growing storm outside made the night feel sleepy and dark.  Not that Aelin minded.  Sometimes a lazy night was just what she needed, especially when she could curl up with a book.

“Lysandra thinks I’m being too hard on Rowan for deciding to sell the ranch,” Aelin told Elide, careful about how loud she spoke.  She didn’t want to risk upsetting the remaining kids or the other counselors.

Elide’s eyes widened at the news.

“You can’t tell—” Aelin said quickly.  She shouldn’t have even told Lysandra about Rowan’s plans.  Even if Lorcan already knew about Rowan’s decision, it was just in bad form for Aelin to be gossiping out it.

“I won’t,” Elide assured her.  “I promise.”

What Aelin had done to deserve friends like Lysandra and Elide, she didn’t know.  As she tugged on the end of her braid she didn’t know where to begin.

“I know I don’t really have a hand in this ranch or can’t tell him what to do,” Aelin said, “but I’ve put so much work into it that…”

Aelin let her words trail off.  Did it really matter what she’d done?  He obviously didn’t care enough to listen to her.  She couldn’t care.  She shouldn’t.  Because in the end, she always came out alone.

She was going to tell her friends that she was fine and it didn’t matter when the shouting started from the other cabin.

--

Back at the main house, Rowan and Aedion were settling everything in for the night.  After baking four giant pizzas for the kids (delivery drivers refused to drive all the way out to the ranch and the weather had taken a bit of a chilly turn) they settled in to watch the latest football game.  

What he didn’t expect was for Aedion to strike up a conversation.  

“You know,” Aedion said as a commercial break started, “I’ve never seen a place like this ranch before, it’s pretty remarkable what you’ve done.”

Rowan really didn’t know if that was true.  All he’d done was come in after his grandparents and parents established everything for him.  The last few years it felt like he’d barely been treading water.  Until the last few months when Aelin had swept in with her binders and her plans and damned conspiratorial smile.

“I haven’t done much,” Rowan replied.  Mostly kept everything afloat as best he could. “It’s mostly been Aelin bringing things back to life.”

It really was an apt description of the woman.  She was vibrant in the way she approached everything she did.  Never did she let anything pass by that was half-hearted or untended.  Rather, she made sure it was taken care of properly.  It was probably what made the fall season so successful.  No…no probably about it, it was what made the season one of the best in several years.

“She does tend to do that, doesn't she?” Aedion laughed. “It’s annoying as hell, because then she thinks she’s always right.  Which, I mean, technically she is always right, but she can’t know that.  She’d be insufferable if we told her.”

Rowan shook his head in agreement.  Though, if he thought about it, Aelin had enough confidence that even if she were wrong about something she would make things work in the end.  She had the faith and the sheer force of will to see something accomplished that an obstacle was merely a stepping stone to what she wanted.

“So,” Rowan began, a thought occurring to him as he thought about his own understanding of Aelin. “How do you know Aelin?  I never got that story?”

That earned him an amused look from Aedion who sat up straighter.

“She’s an Ashryver, you know,” Aedion said slowly, “as in Rhoe and Evalin Ashryver Galathyinius.”

Rowan froze at the pronouncement and slowly, painful understanding washed over him. “What?”

In the chair across from him, Aedion shook his head, blond hair falling in his face.  

“Doesn’t surprise me that you didn’t know,” Aedion chuckled wryly. “She doesn’t use her mom’s name very much, considering...But yeah.  Ashryver-Galathynius.  We’re cousins, were raised together through just about anything.  I was there in all of Aelin’s training when she really got into the horse scene.  She was the national champion in racing and show three years in a row until the accident.”

Rowan could only stare blankly at Aedion.  He didn’t know how he’d missed the similarities, hell, their eyes were even the same.  Why wouldn’t Aelin say anything?  Especially when he had given her so much crap about being a city girl.  She could have shut him up without any effort.

Though, at Aedion’s mention of an accident, he remembered something vaguely happening in the world of showing and competition.  That side of the horse world was something he’d never stayed completely caught up in.  Especially not years ago when he’d been so busy with taking the ranch over.

“She was nineteen, it was going to be her fourth year in a row of winning that championship,” Aedion explained, “and she’d put herself through hell for it.  She kept herself in the best shape, hardly ate.  Was always training.  Her trainer—” a sour look flashed over Aedion’s face— “her trainer wouldn’t leave well enough alone and always pushed her further than anyone should go, not at that age.  It was never proven, but I’m pretty sure they slipped her drugs and the horse too because they were racing barrels which is Aelin’s best event and next thing you know the horse gets spooked and Aelin goes flying.”

Aedion paused, running a hand over his jaw as he stared into the fireplace. “It’s a miracle she wasn’t paralyzed.  Or worse.  Arobynn never even got a slap on the wrist for it.”

Rowan’s gut churned in a sickening way.  “Arobynn Hamel?”

The dark look in Aedion’s eyes was answer enough.

Rowan remembered all the times in the last several months of how he’d berated Aelin for her lack of knowledge on a ranch, how she shied away from the horses.  He’d accused her of so many things that he just hadn’t known about.

“She recovered eventually,” Aedion said, “but I don’t think she was ever the same.  She never got on a horse again after that.  But she volunteered a lot at various stables back in Terrasen or at those camps for kids with autism, y’know?  Kinda like what you do here.  And then she got her degree and has talked about applying for a doctorate.  Damn.  She was always going to become something.”

“I didn’t know, about her past, I mean,” Rowan murmured.  His fingers tightened on the drink in his hand, long forgotten in the conversation.

“It’s why she tends to drop her mom’s name,” Aedion said, he shot Rowan a wry smile. “She doesn’t want that to be all people associate with her.  Her parents love her, don’t get me wrong, but they always put so much pressure on her.  Rhoe and Evalin practically raised me too and I got the same treatment.  The Ashryvers aren’t known for weakness.”

If there was anything Rowan had learned in the past week, it was the truth of that sentence.  Aelin was so much more than the city girl he’d first thought her to be.  Everything she had done in her time on the ranch had been to help the kids and families that came through.  She had worked so hard to turn this place into a functioning therapy ranch and she’d done a damn good job at it.

And he’d gone on to sell the ranch.

Not that he really owed the explanation to anyone.  Sellene was guilt-tripping him enough as it was.  But he’d found the last few months to be more bearable.  Somehow.  Impossibly.  Even with Aelin being as difficult as she was sometimes.  But that was what he liked about her.  She challenged him.  She made plans and got things done.  She was fearless.

And he’d gone on to sell the ranch.

The one place she’d said made her feel like she was coming home.

“I need to--” Rowan began, already reaching for his phone so that he could call her.

He didn’t get far though when the front door opened with a loud thud.  Rowan was on his feet in an instant, for some reason thinking it would be Aelin.  Instead, it was Lysandra and Elide with a very distraught Evangeline.  The young girl had tears streaming down her cheeks and snow was still melting in her hair from the storm raging outside.

“What happened?” Rowan demanded, already sensing the trouble afoot.

Evangeline shrunk back into Lysandra, shaking slightly.  Rowan doubted it was from the chill.  He cursed himself for adding to the girl's distress.  If he remembered correctly, Evangeline was in between foster homes as the last place was unsuitable.  That scar on her cheek was fresh enough that Rowan could guess what unsuitable meant.

He softened his voice. “Is everyone alright?”

Evangeline squeaked, her hair falling in her face.  Behind her, Lysandra made a soothing sound as she gently brushed Evie’s hair back.  Her glare cut right into Rowan making it clear what she thought about him.

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” Lysandra said, “you’re not in trouble.  Just tell Rowan what happened.”

Evangeline sniffed loudly and nodded. “It was Luca.  He and Derek got in a fight when we were playing a game and Luca left and I told him not to but—” Evangeline forced a shuddering breath “—but he left anyway out in the snow.  So I went and got Aelin and Lysandra.”

“Aelin went out looking for him,” Lysandra finished quietly.  She gave Evangeline’s shoulder a tight squeeze.  “But it’s turning into a blizzard out there, I don’t know how far either of them will get.  We left one of the other counselors to keep an eye on the rest of the kids.”

All Rowan could register in that moment was Aelin is out in the blizzard.  It took his remembering that they were all looking to him for answers for him to snap to attention.  He turned to Elide.

“Lorcan?” He asked.

“Finishing up in the stables,” Elide said, “he’s probably still there.  And probably let her take a horse.”

Rowan doubted that.  Even if Lorcan wasn’t fond of Aelin, he wouldn’t let her go out in this weather.

“Try calling him,” Rowan said, “see what he knows.”

When Elide nodded and stepped away, he looked back at Evangeline who was still shaking against Lysandra.

“It’s alright, Evangeline,” he said, “you did the right thing by letting us know what happened.  Are you still cold?”

“N-no,” the girl stuttered softly.

Rowan held out a hand to her anyway. “Come have a seat by the fire, I’ve got hot chocolate in the kitchen too.”

Hesitantly, Evangeline accepted his offer.  He got her settled in the chair he’d vacated and found one of the many fleece blankets Aelin had left lying around.  After wrapping her up, Aedion had his phone out and played a Disney movie to distract the girl.

The adults huddled together in the kitchen while Rowan readied the promised hot chocolate.

“Lorcan said that Aelin took off on one of the mares,” Elide said quietly.  She still held her phone to her ear, the call with Lorcan active. “He wants to know if he should go after her.”

“I’ll come out to the stables now, have him wait for me,” Rowan replied.  He pulled a freshly heated mug from the microwave and dumped in a cocoa packet.  It wasn’t the best but it’s do in a pinch.  Besides, knowing that Aelin spent so much time up here there was bound to be whipped cream in the fridge and marshmallows in a cabinet.  “I’ll ride out with him.”

Lysandra took the mug from him. “Then go.  I’ll finish this.  I don’t know about riding horses.”

Rowan looked at Aedion who shrugged.

“I mean,” the other man said, “I know how to stay on.”

“Good enough,” Rowan said.  He turned to Elide next. 

“I’ll wait at the barn with blankets and flashing lights,” she said before he could get a word out. “Now let's go, the snow is only going to get worse.”

It was more than enough to kick the rest of them into action.

After finding all the spare coats, socks, and blankets they could, they piled into Rowan’s truck and made the quick trip across the drive to the stables.  All Rowan could focus on was the snow.

It no longer fell in thick innocuous fluff, rather it had turned to tiny flecks of ice that could cut skin.  The heavy wind didn’t help anything either.  The weather had quickly dissolved from mediocre to abysmal in the span of an hour.  The snow was no longer sticking to the ground, instead billowing in icy white clouds all around them.  Any semblance of being on an actual road was lost.

Rowan tried not to let it bother him.  He tried to remind himself that Luca wouldn’t get far in this weather.  Aelin was an experienced rider…even if she hadn’t been on a horse in nearly ten years.  His gut still churned in trepidation and a mild sense of panic set his heart to racing.  It was fine.

They reached the barn to find the side door open and Lorcan’s outline waiting with two horses already geared up and ready.  

Piling from the truck, Rowan threw on his coat and grabbed the thick goose down parka for when they found Luca.  He wrapped a scarf around his face as best he could to protect from the wind.

Aedion had the same idea.  He’d also found a hand to pull down over his hair and ears.

“No,” Lorcan said as soon as he saw Elide’s smaller form emerge from around the truck. “Absolutely not.  Go back to the main house.”

Had her arms not been full of blankets and spare coats, Rowan expected Elide would have flipped her boyfriend off.

“Make me.” She gave him a look that offered no room for argument and slipped into the stables.

Lorcan turned to Rowan, fury clearly written in his face.

“She’s going to stay back and keep the lights on for when we make our way back,” Rowan told him.  “She’ll be fine.”

In any other situation, Rowan was sure Lorcan would have argued further.  Instead, he passed off the reins to Goldryn.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” he said.  He then turned to Aedion to offer the other horse.  Rowan had no doubt a third was already saddled and bridled just inside the doors.

Rowan made no promises as to what sort of decisions he would be making.  He merely got one foot in the stirrups and hauled himself up.  They’d wasted enough time and he wanted to get out there and find both Aelin and Luca.

“Rowan!” 

He turned to see Elide running towards him.  She waved an object in one hand, a flashlight.

“Phones will be useless,” she explained. “And I can’t find any walkie-talkies.  Morse code, yeah?”

Smart.  He accepted the light and clicked it on and off again. “Thanks.”

“Just find them.” Her dark eyes were pleading but nothing else about her smaller stature betrayed any of her worry.  When Rowan nodded in assurance, she turned back to the stables.  Rowan tucked the flashlight into the front of his coat before finally turning towards the direction he thought Luca would have gone from the cabins.

As the wind picked up and sent another cloud of snow to wash over them, Rowan tensed for a moment before urging Goldryn on.  They had some ground to cover before they made it to the cabins.  But it had been at least twenty minutes since Luca had run off.  Even with the terrible weather, a determined kid on the run could do a lot of damage.

“C’mon girl,” Rowan called, nudging Goldryn into a canter.

He knew this land better than anyone.  And he wouldn’t let anything happen to Luca or Aelin if he could help it.

…

Ice cut into Aelin’s skin as she and Farasha continued through the snow.  She hadn’t thought to grab a scarf or face covering, hadn’t thought to find a thicker coat.  The best she’d grabbed was a thin lap blanket.  All she’d heard was that Luca ran off into the storm after an argument with one of the other kids.  She would have thought about strangling Luca if she weren’t so worried about him.

“Luca!” she called out, wincing at the cold wind nearly choking her own voice.

She hadn’t even let her own panic take over at the thought of riding again.  She’d saddled up the large horse in record time and told Lorcan to ready two other horses for him and Rowan to come search with her.  It hadn’t even occurred to her that Rowan may not come, may not care as much as she did.  But even if she was pissed off at him, she couldn’t imagine that he would stand idly by when a kid was caught out here in the weather.

Her fingers were stiff as she gripped the reins, grateful at least for that bit of distraction.  It had been ages since she’d been on a horse and ridden.  After breaking her back in a nasty fall and dealing with the repercussions from Hamel, she had sworn she would never get on another horse.  She had sworn she would never return to this life.  But here she was because all she wanted to do was help the kids who needed it.

She shuddered and not just from the cold.

The terrain wasn’t terrible, even with the way the rolling snow covered the ground and how dark the night had gotten.  Even in the last seven months Aelin had grown used to the land.  She’d spent hours walking, running, and just enjoying the ranch.  Between walks with the kids she worked with or helping with moving the small herd of goats from pasture to pasture—Aelin felt like she knew the ranch as well as anyone.

Yet, as the wind continued to howl and the snow beat relentlessly against her side, Aelin had the sickening feeling she was getting lost.  She fumbled for her phone and pulled up the flashlight.  It hardly made a difference, in fact, the light was swallowed up almost as soon as it left the phone.

Aelin bit her lip to keep from cursing.  She didn’t want any more cold air in her mouth finding its way down into her lungs.

How long had she been out here?  An hour?  Two?  How long would Luca last with just his pajamas and simple coat?  

Beneath her, Farasha grunted.  It would only be a matter of time before the horse had had enough and would insist on turning back.

With numb fingers, Aelin patted the horse’s neck.  They would find Luca.  They had to.

The only logical direction Luca could go from the cabins was the main house.  But if he were too embarrassed or upset, he may just go in the opposite direction.  But all there would be was darkness.  Empty and heavy.  Or…or maybe…

Aelin thought back to the first day Luca had arrived and when she’d showed him the old homestead.  It was an old cabin that Rowan’s great-grandfather had first lived in upon buying the land.  She’d told Luca the same story Rowan had told her: with hardly any money his great-grandparents made that tiny cabin a home until they could till the land and make a living come spring.  They’d survived against all odds and used it as a sign of a new beginning.

Spurring Farasha on, Aelin took off for the cabin.  Luca had been enthralled by the story, asking question after question, he even asked to visit the cabin a second and third time.  

Okay, okay, okay. It was the only thing Aelin could think that wouldn’t send her into a different sort of plummeting thoughts.  

Even as the icy wind and sharp snow continued their assault, she told herself that everything was okay.

Aelin was beginning to lose hope, letting the soul wrenching feel of dread rise up within her.  It had been too long.  There was no sign of the cabin nor of Luca.  

This was her fault.  It was all her fault.

A flicker in the distance caught her attention.  A shadow mingling with the already thickly cloying shadows and manipulations of the storm.

“Luca!” Aelin yelled.  As Farasha continued diligently on, the small old cabin came into view and there, trekking towards it was a small hunkered shape. “Luca!”

The shape stopped and Aelin heard a voice in the wind.  Hope rose within her, beating against the dread and panic.

“Hold on!”  Sensing her urgency, Farasha pressed on, though Aelin could tell it was with reluctance.  

It took several agonizing minutes to move the few yards closer to the cabin but they made it.  And there, trying desperately to reach the old cabin was Luca.

Aelin let out a string of curses as she slid off of Farasha.  She gripped the lap blanket in one hand, keeping it close as she ran to Luca.  The boy couldn’t reach out to her, his arms wrapped tight around him.  His coat was too thin for this weather, his old boots unlaced.  Aelin swore his skin was blue, not just his lips.

“A-a-aelin?” he stuttered, the sound of her name was too soft from his mouth.

Aelin threw the blanket around him.  She pulled him against her and wrapped her arms around his middle as she tried to rub warmth into his limbs.

“What were you thinking?” she asked, unable to curb her own panic.  “Luca.  Luca.  Luca.”

The boy trembled against her.  He was trying to talk, to apologize, but Aelin kept him tugged against him so tight his words were muffled.

Ice stung Aelin’s eyes as she pulled away and knelt before him.

“Are you okay?” she asked, speaking over the sound of the wind.

He nodded even as his body still shook.  Hell.  

Aelin drew Luca back against her side. “It’s going to be fine.  I’ve got Farasha and we’re going to get back to the house.  Everything’s fine.”

She wasted no time in leading Luca to the horse.  She boosted him up into the saddle, helping him scoot as far up as he could.  Aelin braced herself as she scrambled up on the horse behind him.  The motion wasn’t as smooth as it could have been.  Combined with lack of practice, cold, and, admittedly, fear, Aelin didn’t let it bother her.

Once settled, she pulled Luca against her chest and reached for the reins.

“We’re alright,” she told him.  What else could she say?  “We’re going to go back to the house and get you warmed up.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Luca chattered. “I knew I shouldn’t have left.”

Aelin shushed him gently. “It’s okay.  Everything’s okay.”

Luca trembled against her chest but fell quiet as he tucked his face into the blanket, she’d given him.  The wind had picked up and snow swirled around them.  Aelin squinted, trying to keep ice from pricking her eyes.  It only made tears start to well and track down her cheeks.  In a matter of seconds, she could feel her skin freeze.  Aelin dared not blink for fear of her eyes freezing shut.  Instead, she tapped her heels against Farasha’s side.

Even with the added load of Luca, the horse surged forward.  Aelin had no idea if they were headed in the right direction.  All she could do was hope that the horse had a better sense of where they were than she.  But with how dark the night had fallen and the increased snowfall, Aelin couldn’t help the panic welling within her.  She had found Luca, sure, but that was only half the problem.  

Now they had to trek back through the storm to the stables.  Aelin guided Farasha as best she could, but the sheets of snow that swirled around them certainly didn’t help.

To ease her own worry, she wrapped an arm around Luca, keeping him close.  He was still conscious, which was good.  She tried asking him questions to make sure he stayed that way but after a few rounds of feeling like her throat was freezing and Luca’s continued shudders--she stopped.  

Come on, she thought to herself.  She was strong enough to do this.  Strong enough to get Luca back safely.  Even if no one else thought much of her--she could see this through.

And then what?  She’d be out of a job.  Likely forced to move back to the city and she didn’t want that.  She didn’t want to stay here either if what Rowan said was true.

If Arobynn Hamel took over the ranch Aelin knew she couldn’t stay.  Hamel was cruel to say the least.  Vindictive, arrogant, abusive.  He had pushed Aelin beyond her limits and was the reason her life had changed forever.

She wanted to hate Rowan for what he had planned.  But how could he have known?  She never talked about her past as it was.  It wasn’t even any of his business if she did leave.

Damn him.  Damn him for giving up on this place in the first place.  And damn him for making her think that she almost had a home here.

A shiver rolled through Aelin’s body.  How could she still feel the cold?  Everything was numb at this point.  She didn’t even know how she could remain upright in the saddle, let alone hold the reins.  But the cold had settled in so deep that it was simply an extension of who she was now.

They passed by a fence post that Aelin didn’t recognize.  Or did she?  Was it the one along the easter paddock?  That meant they were near the stables right?  

The top of the post only had a thin layer of snow on top, the barbed wire extending along to the next post already had icicles forming.

As if sensing her unease, Farasha moved a little faster.  But, really, there wasn’t much the horse could do.  Not in these conditions.

Aelin tilted her face up to the sky, as though that would do anything.  All she could see was the mass of snow and ice continuing to fall.  The gray sky overhead a mass of terror and pure power.  Never had she felt so insignificant until that moment.  She was a small speck in comparison to the universe overhead.  

She dropped her head again and stared forward, willing herself to see some chance of hope.

There was nothing.  Nothing but white.  Nothing but gray.  Nothing but--

A flash of light.

Aelin straightened in the saddle and stared at where she’d seen the flash.  She hadn’t imagined it.  She couldn’t have.

There it was again!

A quick flash followed by a longer one.  The flashes continued in somewhat the same manner, like morse code.  

Aelin’s fingers were too stiff to try for her phone.  She would have dropped it before managing to get it unlocked.  All she could do was guide Farasha towards the light.  Aelin had never learned morse code beyond SOS.  But she’d been out on this land plenty of times and she knew there weren’t any strange flashing lights around.  And these flashes seemed too deliberate in any case.

It was the only reassurance she could hold on to.  That and keeping Luca in one arm.

Another few minutes passed on until Aelin could hear a voice on the wind.  She didn’t register it at first, but it was familiar.  The shout came again; long and steady.

“Luca!  Aelin!”  Their names were drawn out into multiple syllables but it was someone shouting for them.

Not just someone.  Aelin would have recognized that voice anywhere.

The flashlight beam grew stronger the closer they got and Aelin could soon make out a shape sitting astride a horse.  

“Rowan,” she whispered, more to herself than anything.  Because who else could it be. “Rowan!”

It was only a minute later that had Goldryn loping toward them with Rowan.  He still had the flashlight in one hand, beaming brightly against the night.

“Aelin!” he yelled.  He drew in close, close enough to grab her shoulder.

The flashlight helped illuminate him enough that Aelin could see the taut lines of his face, his eyes wide in panic.  The scarf around his lower face had fallen away and snow was building up in the creases.  But it was him.  He was here, staring at her like she was the greatest damn thing he’d ever seen.

“We’re fine,” she said, loud over the storm. “But we need to get Luca warmed up.”

Rowan dropped his gaze to the boy who was still pressed against Aelin’s chest.

“Let's go,” he said, “it’s not that far.”

Aelin could only nod as he turned Goldryn and led the way to the stables.  Farasha, blessedly brilliant beast that she was, followed without any prompting.  

The tightness in Aelin’s chest loosened with each step made.  They had made it.  It really was going to be alright.

Quicker than Aelin realized, the stables came into view.  Bright light from the floodlights broke through the storm and she could see the doors were cracked open just a bit.  Two other horses were by the doors being tended to.  It took Aelin several moments to realize it was Lorcan and Aedion waiting there.  They soon disappeared into the barn, taking the two horses with them.  

When Rowan and Aelin reached the stable doors, both men had returned.  Lorcan wasted not time in coming to Aelin’s side.  He grabbed Luca from the saddle, hauling the boy into his arms and taking him inside.  Aelin could only stare after.  She had no idea if she could move, let alone blink.

It wasn’t until Rowan appeared in her line of sight that she did blink, miraculously without frozen eyes.  She had no idea when he’d gotten off his horse but here he was right beside her.  He reached out, one hand going to her side as he gently tugged her off of Farasha.

She fell into him.  It was an accident, really.  But her body was still numb and she might have been in shock, but she went tumbling off of the saddle in as inelegant a dismount as could be imagined.  Rowan’s arms stayed around her, keeping them both upright.

“I got you,” he murmured into her ear.  He kept a firm hold on her as she slowly regained her balance.

Somehow, he still had warmth to share.  As he kept her tight in his grasp, Aelin could practically feel her own body leeching it off of him.  She was desperate to feel anything other than the raging cold threatening to freeze her entire body.  

Lorcan appeared in another minute and helped with Farasha, Aedion took control of Goldryn.

Rowan led Aelin into the stables that were already infinitely warmer than the storm outside.  There seated on a few bales of hay was Elide, well at work with getting Luca wrapped in a fresh blanket and tugging a hat over his head.

“You’re half frozen,” Rowan said.  He kept walking Aelin away from the opened doors of the stables.  “What the hell were you thinking?”

Aelin could only stare at him.  

The familiar scowl was in place and his brow was furrowed as he worked to get her out of her wet coat.  A thin and useless coat, he pointed out.  He replaced it by draping a thicker one over her shoulders, holding it in place when she didn’t take it herself.

All she could do was stare at him.  He had come for her.  He had gone out into that storm and came to find her.  Luca too.  But with the way he was staring at her and brushing the messy strands of hair from her face--all Aelin could really process was that he was here for her.

“You’re fussing,” she managed to whisper.

“Of course I’m fussing,” he said, incredulity spreading across his face. “Aelin, you’re freezing.”

Of course she was.  She’d spent the better part of an hour (more?) searching through a blizzard on a horse looking for Luca.  Her entire body shook with cold and a mild panic of what she’d just accomplished.

Rowan tugged the coat tighter around her as he kept talking.  But Aelin couldn’t hear what he was going on about.  A shrill ringing started in her ears blocking almost everything else out.  And then the shivers wouldn’t stop.  Her entire body was shaking and it was all she could do to stay on her own two feet before she pitched forward straight into Rowan, vision going black.

…

When Aelin woke, she found herself surrounded by a thick warmth that engulfed her.  It was far welcome from the dreams of freezing snow and wind that she’d had all night.  Grateful for the thick blankets tucked all around her, Aelin snuggled in deeper, breathing in a familiar scent of pine.

Her eyes snapped open with sudden awareness.

She wasn’t in her own bed.  

Pain lanced through her head as she tried sitting up.  The sheer weight of the blankets piled on top of her was enough to keep her down though, for at least a minute longer.

What the hell had happened?  Her body ached as though she’d run a marathon and she was certain her toes were frozen solid and—

And there had been the blizzard.  And Luca.  And she’d gotten on a horse and rose out into a blizzard to find him.

That thought alone spurred her on.  She shoved the thick quilts aside, pausing only at the patchwork of the top blanket that was a blend of greens and silvers in a pattern she couldn’t quite make out, but it was handmade.  She could tell that much.

Aelin then realized that she was in Rowan’s room.  If not for the scent of pine and the obvious splashes of green throughout the decoration, then the picture on the bedside table.  It was of a boy no more than ten with a shock of silver hair standing on a dock that overlooked a lake.  In one hand he held up a fishing line with a giant fish dangling from the hook.  Beside him was an older man, his father, who had a proud grin on his face as he wrapped an arm around the boy.  And there was another picture of a woman with tan skin and brilliant green eyes smiling down at a bundled baby in her arms.

She was in Rowan’s room.

The thought shocked her enough that she remained seated on the edge of the bed right up until the door opened.  Mind still reeling, Aelin could only watch as Rowan himself slowly stepped into the room.

He stopped immediately upon seeing her awake and sitting up.  Dressed in his usual attire of jeans and flannel she almost would have guessed she hadn’t been asleep that long.  If it hadn’t been for his disheveled hair or the stubble on his chin and cheeks.

“You should be asleep,” Rowan said.  He held a cup of water in one hand and slowly walked it over to her, setting it on the bedside table she’d just been examining.

“I was,” Aelin replied, even with the short words her voice rasped with disuse and exhaustion. 

Rowan who now stood just before her, his knees brushing hers, reached out and brushed a few messy strands of hair from her face.  His fingers were warm against her skin and the calluses rough as they scraped gently along her cheek.  The expression in his eyes held something Aelin wasn’t sure how to read.  She’d thought she’d gotten decent enough at interpreting Rowan that it unsettled her just a bit.  

Instead of the depthless sea of green she was so accustomed to, he was now guarded and hesitant.  Compared to his usual assurance and confidence--Aelin was at a loss of what to say.

“Drink this,” Rowan said, filling the silence.  He pushed the glass of water into her hands along with a few pain pills and the granola bar. “And eat.  The pills will settle better with something in your stomach.”

Aelin set the items aside. “I’m fine.”

“Aelin.”

The warning in his voice had Aelin’s hackles rising.  She set her jaw and glared right back at him.

“I’m fine.” 

They stared at each other, neither budging.  And they could sit there all day for all Aelin was concerned.  She wasn’t sure how long she’d been asleep or of any of the other details of her passing out, but she did know she was still pissed Rowan and she would hold out for as long as--

“Please,” Rowan said, voice uncharacteristically soft, “just eat something.”

The breath stilled in Aelin’s lungs.  When had she ever heard him say please?  It was such a strange word coming from him that Aelin automatically reached for the granola bar and unwrapped it.  She took a few bites before swallowing the pain pills with some of the water.

“Happy?” she asked, placing the water back on the bedside table.

Rowan, as expected, remained silent.  When he turned aways from her, Aelin thought he was going to give her some peace and quiet, but he was only putting a little distance between them. Which was probably for the best considering Aelin was having a difficult time breathing normally when he was so close.  She would blame it on nearly getting hypothermia.  That was it.

“Do you have any idea how stupid it was for you to go out like you did?” he demanded.  He’d stepped back closer to the window, pale light filtering through the thin curtains to illuminate him enough that Aelin could better see the outlines of his face and the stiff way he held himself.

“I was trying to find Luca,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “What was I supposed to do?”

“Get help,” Rowan said, “it was a blizzard Aelin, what if something had happened?”

“Exactly.”  She rose to her feet, blinking back the fuzzy blackness along the edge of her vision.  She wasn’t going to let him berate her. “I couldn’t let something happen to Luca.  He was my responsibility.  It’s a miracle I found him at all.”

Aelin waited expectantly for him to say something else.  To continue to tell her how stupid she was, how upset he was.  That she’d made mistake after mistake.

But he didn’t.

Rowan stood before her, hands on his hips and lips pressed tight together.  Silent.

“I wasn’t going to leave him,” Aelin said, and she was shocked to find emotion beginning to clog her throat. “I couldn’t.”

And then Rowan did the absolute last thing she expected.  He hugged her.

One moment he was two feet away looking as mad as she’d ever seen him, the next he was pulling her into a bone crushing hug.  His arms wound around her, one hand buried in her hair to keep her close.  It took Aelin a few seconds to reorient herself but she carefully returned the hug.

Several different questions and emotions swam through Aelin’s head.  Most of which dealt with the variety that Rowan was actually displaying affection of one sort or another.  He wasn’t a stone wall of silence in that moment but someone who cared.  At least, that was how she chose to interpret this display.

“It’s alright,” she found herself murmuring. “Everything’s fine.”

She realized belatedly that the anger she’d felt rolling off of him was actually fear.  That he’d been scared for her.  She marveled at it really, that Rowan Whitethorn would be worried about her.  

Aelin gently eased back, just enough that she could look at him with a bit more clarity.  Her entire body was still brimming with exhaustion, she could feel her own tiredness thudding through her bones with every beat of her heart.  It was only a small, dull ache though in comparison with the unyielding depths of Rowan’s dark eyes.

She didn’t go far though.  The warmth radiating off of him was welcome, feeling almost as though she were back in bed and wrapped in the many blankets.  Being so close to him was strange, different.  She’d never allowed herself to get so close to him before that now, being held by him--she couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so safe and secure.

“Sorry,” Rowan said, though he didn’t release her entirely as one hand trailed softly along her side.

Not knowing how to navigate any of this--Aelin avoided a direct response.

“How’s Luca?” she asked.

“Fine,” Rowan said, “he woke up twenty minutes ago and is perfectly fine.”

“Good,” she said, genuine relief flooding her. “That’s good.”

“We had him and Evangeline stay in the house, Evie stayed in your room,” Rowan went on to explain. “Because the weather was so bad, Lorcan and Elide stayed the night too.  They’re with the rest of the kids down at the cabins.”

“Rowan, I,” Aelin began, knowing that she did at least owe him a little of an apology.  In part for her recklessness (though they would both know she wasn’t really sorry) and for the way she acted after learning about Hamel. 

“Don’t,” he said, quick to cut her off.  His fingers dug into her sides grounding her right where they stood. “You don’t need to say anything.”

“I’m sorry,” she said anyways, he gave her an exasperated sort of look that made her smile. “Not about Luca, I stand by going after him, but Hamel.  There’s more to that than I’ve told anyone.”

Rowan cleared his throat, eyes flicking away for a brief moment before resettling on her. “Aedion might have told me a little about that.  And about…”

He trailed off when Aelin turned away.  She didn’t know why she did, why she wanted to ignore her past and lock it back up again where no one, not even she, could find it.  But she did.  Because she knew how it sounded, how it looked.  The spoiled rich girl from the good background with everything at her beck and call falls into a mess of drug use.  Even if she hadn’t known about it.

When the backs of her knees hit the bed, Aelin collapsed onto the mattress.  She was exhausted anyways and really just wanted to sink back into the blankets and fall asleep.  Maybe pretend none of this had ever happened.

“I ended the deal with Hamel,” Rowan said.  “Literally just got off the phone with him to tell him I wasn’t selling anymore.”

Aelin felt her jaw fall open as she stared up at him. “You what?”

If there was anything he could have said to shock her, that was it.

“I’m not selling,” Rowan repeated.  He looked as serious as he ever did, not a fleck of emotion on his face.  It was a strange beauty he held, Aelin thought at that moment.  The hard planes of his face, his sharp jawline, and the full curve of his lips—all of it combined together in such a way that nearly stole her breath away.

“Why not?” she whispered. “Not to him or not at all?”

He swallowed, throat bobbing.  Aelin thought it curious, why would he care about this so much to end the deal that, as he’d said, would bring in a great deal of money?  And why would he care enough to not want to talk about it further?

“No deal at all,” Rowan said, “my attorney’s processing a formal citation for it now.”

“Why?” she asked again.  Why did she care so much?  Was it her own love for this ranch that has somehow developed over these brief few months?  Was it no more than the desire to know that Hamel was getting screwed over? 

This time when he came towards her, Aelin didn’t move.  She only watched as he slowly drew closer until once again, his knees knocked against hers.  He hovered over her, his broad frame blocking out the light from the window.  But he wasn’t imposing, wasn’t a cruel thing engulfing her.  It was just Rowan.

“I couldn’t do that to you,” he said. The admission sent shivers running along her arms, racing down her spine. “Not after, everything.”

“Everything,” Aelin repeated, trying hard to ignore the way her heart was hammering in her chest and how her stomach dipped at the low timbre of his voice.  “It was the binder, wasn’t it?”

She couldn’t help the teasing words.  The binder that had outlined this week of kids coming to the ranch had included a brief plan of continued action to take on seeing more progress made for various revenue opportunities for the ranch.  Really, Aelin hadn’t expected Rowan would read much into it.

Rowan snorted a soft laugh, head tilting up as though he were looking to the heavens for help.

“Yeah, I guess that was it.” His words weren’t convincing.  Not even in the slightest.  Especially not when Aelin saw that small spark in his eyes, the way he was so close yet still so far.  And Aelin, despite everything that had happened, wanted him closer.  Rowan, she knew, was too chivalrous and wouldn’t do anything to push her over whatever line they were toeing.

She reached up, fingers grazing the hem of his shirt, the fabric soft against her skin.  

“I told you it was—” Aelin never had the chance to finish teasing him further when he swept in to kiss her.

It was a soft brush of his lips against hers, barely anything at all.  And still it made her breath catch, caused goosebumps to race over her skin.  She arched into him, eagerly seeking out of his touch.  She couldn’t remember the last time someone had made her feel so wild in her own skin.

Rowan cupped her cheek with one hand as he drew her closer. The deepening kiss nearly drowned her.  He paused only once, hovering before her in a silent question.  Aelin responded by fisting her fingers in his shirt and dragging him to her.  His lips turned insistent against hers, drawing a small sound from her throat.

In all her time at the ranch, Aelin had never known Rowan to be so gentle or careful.  But the way he treated her as though she were something to be cherished, something to be loved—it had her heart seizing in her throat.  

She wanted more, needed more, and given the way Rowan’s hands ran through her hair and down her sides she knew he did too.

Which, of course, was when a soft knock came at the bedroom door.

“Aelin?”  It was Lysandra come to check on her.

She and Rowan broke apart, putting just enough distance between them.  There was no guilt or regret in Rowan’s eyes, rather a promise just for her.

Aelin straightened, adjusting her mussed shirt.  “Come in.”  She reached for the half-eaten granola bar and started to finish it off, just so she could have something to do with her hands and maybe detract from what she and Rowan had been up to.

The look on Lysandra’s face said she wasn’t convinced.  She raised a brow, fixing her look solely on Rowan before turning to Aelin.

“I told him not to bother you,” she said.

“I was already awake,” Aelin said honestly.  

Lysandra hummed, her mouth curving into a smirk. “Sure.  Well, there’s a real breakfast downstairs.  And Luca wants to thank-you in person for finding him.”

“Thanks, Lys,” Aelin said.

Her friend waited a moment longer before turning to leave.  She left the door open behind her.

Aelin waited until Lysandra disappeared down the stairs before she rose to her feet.  She was tired and still a bit achy but she knew that if she and Rowan remained up here any longer it would only result in an embarrassing call out.  That or Aedion would be sent to collect them.  And for her cousin's health and Rowan’s own sanity, Aelin thought it best not to avoid the inevitable.

Automatically, she reached out for Rowan and took her hand in his.  She laced their fingers together and gave him a small squeeze.

“I never did thank-you,” she said, stepping closer to him, willing to snatch just one more moment.

Rowan arched a brow. “For what?”

“You came to find me,” she said, “even after everything.”

His face softened and Rowan brought their clasped hands up between them, brushing his lips across her knuckles.

“I’ll always come if you need me,” he promised.

Aelin smiled, unable to help it.  For the first time in ages, she felt a small bit of joy begin to kindle deep in her chest.  Where once it might have scared her, now it was a welcome feeling, one that she would keep close deep within her.

“C’mon, buzzard, before she sends Aedion up to get us.”  She tugged him to the door with her so they could join the fray awaiting downstairs for them.

And over the next few days, Aelin wouldn’t know what the future would bring.  She didn’t know if anything would happen between her and Rowan or if this was some strange moment shared together.  She didn’t even know what would happen with her career.

What she did know was that she wanted to fight for it, whatever may come.

…

Epilogue—Six Months Later

It was the howling of a dog that woke him at six in the morning, not his usual alarm.  At first, Rowan was keen to ignore it and instead try to fall back asleep.  But the dog howled again, mostly out of need for attention than anything else.  He rolled over in bed, one arm reaching out to the warm body beside him.

“Your child is calling,” he grumbled.

Aelin cursed from where she was tangled in the blankets. “You’re the one that bought her.”

Indeed, Rowan had purchased the dog that let out another howl outside.  He’d figured if he were going to keep the ranch, they should have a dog.  What he hadn’t planned on was the little demon to end up being almost exactly like Aelin.  He should have known.

Snorting a laugh, Rowan tugged her closer, ignoring the way Aelin’s blonde hair was splayed out messily, nearly engulfing him.  He wrapped a hand around her waist, keeping her close.  She was soft against him; curves and angles fitting perfectly with him.  No matter how many times they woke like this, he didn’t think he’d ever get used to it.

Aelin rolled over in his arms so they were face to face and she could hook her leg over his hip.  Already she had one hand buried in his hair as she settled down again.  Rowan cracked an eye open to watch her.

Eyes closed and a look of contentment on her soft features, Aelin still remained the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.  The nightgown she wore was a poor excuse for covering.  The thin straps had fallen down her shoulders and left her chest almost perfectly exposed.  The hemline rode up far along her thighs.  And he was well aware she wasn’t wearing underwear beneath.  

He had no idea how they’d come to this point—no idea how he’d managed to not screw things up beyond measure.  Given the way they’d started—they by all means should still hate each other.  But here they were, tangled together in a mess of limbs.

He realized too late that she’d opened her eyes.

“Staring?” she asked.

“Always.”

Aelin grinned in that delightfully bright way she did.  It was enough to strike any man dumb.  Taking advantage of his distraction, Aelin swooped in for a quick kiss.

“I’ll take care of the dog if you make me pancakes,” she said, already climbing out of bed.

Rowan, however, had another idea.  He snatched a hand out, catching her wrist to pull her back down on the bed.  Aelin yelped in surprise, nearly falling on top of him.  She caught herself though, one hand braced on the mattress next to him.  Golden hair fell around them as a curtain, a tangled, messy curtain.

Leaning up, Rowan caught her mouth in another kiss.  This one far more than a simple peck.  Aelin sighed against him as one hand trailed along his bare chest, her fingers working in soft caresses at his side.

As he deepened the kiss, Rowan sat up and wrapped an arm around Aelin.  He pulled her fully into his lap, fully intending to have a proper morning together when the alarm clock finally went of and that damned dog started another round of howls from outside.  Groaning, Rowan tried keeping her close for just a moment longer.

“Sorry cowboy,” Aelin said breathlessly as she pulled back. “Our child is calling.  And you’re going to be late.”

She brushed her fingers through with a fond smile before getting out of bed.  This time Rowan let her go, though he wasn’t happy about it.  

Aelin threw on a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt before she ran downstairs, calling for Fleetfoot the entire way.

In the six months since the blizzard that brought them together, many things had changed.  Normally Rowan would have shied away from it all.  Change never meant anything good.  It meant things would be different, that there was a new reality set forth before him.  And, always one to stay the course, he’d never pursued much beyond what he already knew.

But he supposed the change Aelin wrought within him was just what he needed.  And not just in keeping the family ranch.  But she made him want to be different, to be better.

After he changed, Rowan headed downstairs.  Aelin was outside with Fleetfoot, the golden lab that was supposed to be a herd dog but much preferred human company than goats.  He watched them through the kitchen window as Aelin threw a ball for Fleetfoot to chase.  

The golden sun already illuminated the sky setting everything alight.  Spring came swiftly and full of new opportunities.  And for once, Rowan didn’t dread it.

Even though he was running behind, Lorcan would kick his ass for it, Rowan whipped up a batch of pancakes and already had a few on the griddle by the time Aelin and Fleetfoot scampered back inside.

Fleetfoot pranced around happily and dashed into the kitchen to make sure Rowan knew she was there.

“Yeah, yeah,” Rowan said as the dog rubbed against one of his legs. “Go ask your momma for treats.”

Aelin instead fixed Fleetfoot’s food dish with the allotted portion of kibble.  Though, Rowan knew the dog would get at least one treat before the hour was out.

While Fleetfoot attacked her breakfast, Aelin came and wrapped her arms around Rowan’s middle.  She pressed her forehead into his back and sighed as she rested against him.

“You didn’t have to make pancakes,” she told him quietly.

Rowan flipped the few that were on the griddle before turning to accept a full hug.  He brushed the escaping bits of hair that flew from her bun out of the way and shrugged.

“I wanted to.”  

“Hmm,” Aelin hummed and pressed up onto her toes to kiss him.  Chaste and sweet, the kiss still held a lingering promise of what exactly she wanted to do to him. “Well, thank-you.  But you should go.  Lorcan’s going to be pissy enough as it is.”

“Yes dear,” Rowan said.

He let Aelin take control over the pancakes and grabbed a protein bar from the fridge before heading out for the day.  He paused when he reached the door looking back at Aelin as she pulled the batch of pancakes from the heat.

“I love you,” he said.

She looked up, blue eyes dazzling with her smile. “Love you, buzzard.”

The door closed softly behind him as he hurried down the porch to his waiting truck.  Beside it was the SUV Lysandra and Aedion had left behind, taking Aelin Audi with them once the snow let up.  The chrome silver was spattered with mud and dust looking as though it perfectly belonged where it was.  The sight brought a small smile to him.

His truck rumbled down the road to the stables where they would already be preparing for the first spring camp of the season.  They were expecting fifteen kids in total with another week planned for the wait-listers that hadn’t gotten in the first time.  

The day after the blizzard, Rowan officially terminated any agreement with Hamel that had been talked about, just as he’d promised Aelin he would.  They’d faced some backlash, but it was remarkable just what a few loyal names could do to help make things right.  Though, Aelin’s own determination in not letting the man have any more control over her said enough.

Now she worked in town at the singular therapy office, providing help to those who wanted.  When she wasn’t there, she was at the ranch helping him and continuing to plan and host events for more kids and individuals seeking help and comfort for their traumas and other mental health concerns.  Just like she’d always wanted.

Rowan drove past the wide-open field of the ranch his family had called home for over a hundred years.  And when he glanced in the rearview mirror at the ranch house fading into view behind him, he hoped that it would remain that way for a few more generations after.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

<3 reblogs appreciated.

[desultory-novice]

hi dess! probably the wrong person to ask but it's just to immensely confuddling... is there a solid lore explanation for how sectonia turned into a bee? i wanted to write a body horror thing for her but i wanted it to be lore accurate and it's just all so convoluted !

Wrong person or not, it is impeccable timing! Both because of Triple Deluxe's 10th Anniversary (in Japan time) and the fact that I've been intensely studying those scenes for my own anniversary piece! Which is, err, running late.

Here is what we can garner about Sectonia's transformation abilities based on the available information + insights the game gives us.

[Pause Screen Lore]

VS Sectonia Vine

"Sectonia's family(1) have parasitized, taken possession of, and controlled countless lifeforms."

1) This word is often translated as "clan" as in a large gathering of members who are not necessarily family but belong to a specific unified group. IE, this could mean anything from "she and her direct family members have this ability" to "all spiders within a certain classification have this ability" to "all spiders have this ability".

I sometimes HC that possession is something all female spiders possess, because I like to imagine her people being a Queendom and that'd be a good reason for it, and also because of The Dark Crystal's "Wings? I don't have wings." "Of course not. You're a boy." (Which just feels so Taranza + Sectonia coded to me)

(I say "sometimes" because I'm also very fond of trans-girl Sectonia HC.)

VS Queen Sectonia (2)

"Sectonia, beautiful and menacing in form. She has [placed herself] inside the world tree..."

VS Sectonia Soul (2)

"I have parasitized and changed bodies so many times, I can no longer recall...which of them was my original self..."

(This pause screen lore is written from Sectonia's POV.)

So, yes, Joronia/Sectonia is a parasite.

She attaches to something and makes it part of her body/swaps bodies with it. If we look at the difference between her queen-form and her flowered-form, we understand a few things about this process: she takes her current body, as well as the body of another living organism and fuse them together. IE: 1 + 1 = 1

She retains some visual aspects of her previous body after a "switch" (she still has the bee head, collar, and wings, for example) and gains the greater (?) amount of traits from the new body.

This would mean that after her first swap, she probably still looked a little like "Joronia." (Something like a messed up version of those matching toys where you have to align the head, torso, and legs.)

What this also means is that in order to look like "Queen Sectonia" who is so completely different from what Taranza and Joronia look like, she would have had to swap bodies a lot. (Not to mention, she is BIG. It is possible her last body-swap wasn't even to a bee/wasp but something large she absorbed to gain the qualities of its size! Or maybe she stole something large for the size and then stole something with a super thin waist to get that hourglass figure XD)

Planet Robobot's Clone Sectonia lore tells us that "countless species" were found in the Dream Stalk's DNA "stretching over 1,000 years" so this does indeed seem to confirm she did this a frightening amount of times over a long period of time.

It's safe to say you will probably find no one creature in the Kirby-verse that looks similar to Queen Sectonia, as her body was custom crafted with parts from countless critters.

We also get a few visual insights into how parasitization looks...

...Upon her initial defeat, she begins giving off a massive amount of glitter/sparkles/insect scales. 

This visual is interesting as, if she was already reaching for a new body after her defeat, it is possible this is the first part of the process. Shedding her initial body. If not, this could either be a sign of her current body failing/dying or her parasitic control over it weakening.

She raises up, does some hand movements, lets out a wave of magic and begins to glow brightly. When we check back in on her, she has expelled her wings (she has them back in flower form but they DO appear slightly different. More petal-like and droopy. See above.) and wriggling tentacles appear from behind her...

You can debate that these are the Dream Stalk's vines wrapping around her, but they don't seem to behave the same way. (They don't have leaves either, which the vines do.) Thus, I think these are "appendages" that specifically appear as part of Sectonia/Joronia's transformation process. If you think about the way insects emerge from their cocoons, I can imagine these as tendrils as coming out from a "split/crack" that slowly forms in her back...

There's a LOT of light and time and struggle involved in the process but this could be just because the Dream Stalk was such a large and powerful target, being rooted into Popstar itself. If she's done this hundreds or thousands of times before, it is possible there is a shorter version of this for things she already overpowers.

...Though, the grimdark part of my brain imagines things like Taranza using his magic to hold one of her struggling targets down while she enwraps it with her horrible parasite tendrils. If Dess hasn't said this before, I'm less interested in soft, sad boy Taranza and much more interested in "1/2 of a gleeful villain couple" Taranza, who is so captivated by his beloved, he happily joins her in all sorts of horrendous things - leading military invasions in her name, assassinations, putting down rebellions, capturing new victims for her, all things he IS implied to do in game through Dedede -  only turning a blind eye to it because he believes in and is infatuated with her and thus, this must be the right thing to do. Right...?

-

In summary, what we can glean is all pretty bad. Sectonia doesn't even "swap" bodies because the bodies she absorb all get used up and can be said to be "dead" from the moment she inhabits them. Though you can even argue this, as, once she is defeated, the Dream Stalk seems to regain its individuality after her absorption. If you're re~ally into horror, you could take this to mean that some aspect of her victims consciousness is carried on from body to body...!!!!

Also, swapping from body to body appears to be more of a melding process anyway, which could also be pretty darn horrible, depending upon how much control you think she has over which traits she inherits from her victims. If it's entirely her choice, it's simply a matter of how many bodies until she's found the traits she believes "perfects" her ultimate vision of herself - plus how many times she changes her mind. If it's NOT then she's probably gone through an insane amount of swaps/victims, discontented at the results and insisting on trying again and again until it turns out "right."

And there you have it! Joronia's transformation into Sectonia is both deeply pitiful and deeply, deeply frightening!

[axcel-lucci]

Death will never keep us apart.

Trafalgar Law x fem!reader

Note: established relationship, also... Slight... Angst?

"You can do it, (y/n)!" Bepo encouraged as he held her hand

It reassured her through deep pushes just to push their son out of her body.

"(Y/n)! One more, I promise this'll all be over soon!" Law said as he was the one aiding her.

"If fucking 47 hours in labour is 'soon', I'm fucked!" She yelled as she basically death gripped on Bepo's paw making the poor bear cry a little on the inside.

After all that, the baby was safely delivered.

She could could feel herself slowly getting weaker as she breathes I'm air.

"Hey..." Law called as he pulled of his gloves and his mask, "you did great..."

He kissed her forehead, "don't worry... They're taking care of the baby, cleaning him up and feeding him... Bepo, can you go and get the other bed ready?" Law said as he held her hand in which she weakly gripped unto.

The bear nodded and left, but not without taking a peak of the cute baby boy.

"Hey" he called, more sternly now, "are you alright?" He asked, worryingly as he checked her pulse.

Her pulse was gradually starting to get weaker, and weaker as she breathes heavily.

"(Y/n)..." He called, no response.

He called again, still no response until he felt the pulse suddenly disappear

"(Y/n)! No!" He yelled before holding unto her tight, "please...!"

...

"What... Where...?" (Y/n) muttered before looking around to a white void she found herself waking up at.

She remembers giving birth and...

"Am I..."

"Yes, you are dead." Someone with a smooth voice said behind her as she turned around to see an angel smiling down softly at her

"What... No. No! I can't!"

...

"(Y/n)! Please, please, please wake up!" Law begged as he did all procedures he can think of just to have her heart beat right back.

The crew held on to the now sleeping baby in their arms, afraid that if they handed him the baby... He'd lose himself.

....

"What do you mean? Your life has come to an end, is it not?" The angel smiles with its voice, "is it not enough rat you have successfully delivered a baby boy, changed his father's life for the better, and found a family...?"

"No. It's not enough. I grew up without a mother, I... Don't even know who my mother is... I don't want to come a time when... Even my own child doesn't know who I am. And Law... My husband... He... He lost so many... I promised him I'd stay by him until the end-"

"This is the end." The angel said, almost annoyingly, "your end, that is"

She frowned, "no. Bring me back. Now." She demanded, "my baby... My husband..." She grumbled, "I can't leave them. I don't want to leave them."

"But this is your fate, the fate that our creator has written for us..." The angel reasoned

"No. I do not accept this creator. I do not accept whatever fictional stories they're writing. I do NOT accept whatever they do. What, are we all just a doll to them??" She questioned

"That's not-"

"Shut. Up. We are not dolls, I am a mother and a wife. You are an angel. Not puppets and specially not dolls." She growled, "either you bring me back or you'll have to drag me kicking and screaming to the depths of hell"

"Angels don't go to hell..." The angel cried a bit before sighing deeply; "you know... When the creator said you'd be resisting... I didn't expect them to mean... This..."

"Well guess what, I won't be resisting if you bring me back. My husband is waiting for me, he cannot raise a child because he himself is an inner child... And it's my job to protect my children." She huffed

The angel just stared before sighing, "you seriously are a crazy woman... Most, if not all, the people that die come willingly... But you... You're different... I guess that's a mother's love... Huh?"

She just stomped her foot, "bring me back or I will seriously inflict irreversible damage to you and your piece of shit morals."

"Woah! No need to get so verbal...!" The angel gasped, "okay...! Okay...! I'll... I'll send you back..."

"That's what I thought."

"Gosh... The creator is so gonna scold me..."

...

"(Y/n), please...!" Law yelled as he kept giving her CPR

"Captain..." Shachi said, "I think it's.."

"No! She's not dead...! I know it!" He yelled before turnin to his crew, will visible hurt and anger in his eyes but tears kept spilling out, "get me a fucking blood bag instead! And make sure it's her blood type!"

"Y-yes sir...!" The crew nodded as Ikkaku held on to the sweet baby boy, unaware of what's happening around him.

He turned back to (y/n) only to slowly cup her cheeks with his hands, they were shivering... Trembling...

One would think a surgeon's hand would be steady and precise but...

His hands were shaking as he cupped her cheeks and desperately called out to her in almost a ragged whisper, "please... (Y/n)... Come back... I can't raise him alone... I can't raise our baby alone... I can't... I can't live without you... Please..." He begged while softly yet shakily kissing her in hopes that she wakes up, "... Please" his voice quivered.

He slowly starts to lose hope and accept her death, "please... Just... One more time... Please..." He cried.

The stoic and cold demeanour washed away by the fountains and rivers of his continuous tears.

Law kissed her lips, softly yet shakily before one of his hand hold hers in a tight grip, "please..." He muttered, "please wake up..."

A few moments later and he felt her hand twitch making him gasp and stand up straight, he could feel her hand grip his again as she tried her best to open her eyes only to close them back up from exhaustion.

One of his crew finally came back with a blood bag and law immediately hooked it to her, "(y/n)...!" He slowly smiled before she lifted a hand to his face.

Her hand missed when she tried to hold his face due to the haziness of her vision, "Law..."

"Rest up, my love..." He said before wiping away his tears, "and as soon as you wake up, you can see little Cora." He smiled before kissing her forehead

"Law... You bastard..." She laughed weakly, "I still don't appreciate the literal hours of my labour."

"I know... My love... I promise, I'll take good care of you and the baby forever. Just tell me what you need, I'll give them to you"

She smiled, "give me a kiss... Please?"

"Yes..." He smiled before kissing her.

...

She slowly woke up to the smell of isopropyl alcohol and anesthesia as it slowly wears off.

She ground before lifting a hand to rub her eyes open.

"Dear...! You're finally awake" he smiled brightly as he stood beside her bed and helped her sit up

"Ow... Ow..." She groaned, "is this fucking normal?" She frowned as he massaged her body

"Yes... It is."

"Dammit... I'm so not having another child." She huffed while crossing her arms

"Aww... But I want three children..." He pouts cutely making her huff

"Yeah yeah... Me too" she grumbled, "wait...! What happened to baby Cora?!"

"Shh... Here..." He smiled and motioned to a small hospital bed meant for babies beside him.

He slowly took the baby to his arms, supporting the places he knew needed to be supported and hands it over to her.

She gladly took the baby into her arms as he sleeps peacefully in a blanket Klione knitted for him.

"Oh... Law..." She smiled as she stared at the literal "copy, paste" of law and his child, "I'm upset how he looks so much like you and yet I'm the one who almost died"

"Come now..." He muttered and hugged her waist, "I'm sure he has your traits." He smiled before kissing her shoulder, "and... Thank you"

"For what?" She looked at him with a small smile

"For staying... I thought you were gonna die, too..." He mumbled

"Law..." She smiled before kissing his cheek, "fun fact, I grilled that angel right open as he tried dragging me off to the afterlife"

Law laughed softly, "so... Even death won't keep us apart, no?" He smiled.

"I guess it is..." She chuckled, "also... It hurts like literal hell, law... Can I have at least some pain meds??"

Law chuckled before nodding, "but you can take them later after eating..." He kissed her forehead, "I love you so much..."

"I love you more..." She smiled and kissed him.

He smiled before kissing back.

[countrymusiclover]

6 - Here's to Aerys Targaryen

Part 7

The Lion Knight and Dragon Princess

Tags- just send an ask to be added @cdragons @kmc1989 @starkleila @noirrose21-blog @lover-of-books-and-tea

Hearing the chamber door open behind me where I turned my head around seeing a young girl who looked to be the right age of 15 or 16 with auburn hair tied up in a bun and gray Stark eyes staring directly at me with confusion written on her face. “Who are you? This is my chamber, not yours.” 

“I'm your new lady in waiting, my lady.  My name is Clarrise Arther.” I curtsied before her with a weak smile hoping she would find me alright. 

She clasped her hands together in front of her stomach. “How long have you been a lady in waiting?” 

“I actually just started today. But I am a quick learner.” I said with confidence in my voice. 

The Stark girl paused walking towards me. “Who hired you?’ 

“Tyrion Lannister, Lady Stark.” 

Sansa clicked her tongue sitting down in the chair by her vanity. “Alright. Could you brush my hair?” 

“Of course.” I replied doing as she asked and I found myself thinking about Amber when doing so.  I wish my father hadn't sent her off to another area of the castle to work rather than be able to hang out with me. 

Hours later it was daytime when I began to stroll the hallways on my own. I could make note of how much everything had changed inside my former home.  The family portraits and Targaryen flags had been torn down and burned leaving no existence of my family's rule.  Somehow with the swaying of my dress I could see the bits of fire ash on the stone floor on the now clean floor before me.  This wasn’t anything like my home growing up was. 

“You monster. Myrcella is my only daughter. Do you really think I'll let you sell her like a common whore?” I heard the Queen's voice coming from the shut chamber door that I had passed. 

I backed up pressing my ear against the wooden door to listen. “Myrcella's a princess. Some would say she was born for this.” 

“I will not let you ship her off to Dorne like I was shipped off to Robert Baratheon.” Cersei growled in his face. 

Tyrion responded back. “Dorne is the safest place for her.” 

“Are you mad the Marvel's loathe us.” 

He said back. “That’s why we need to seduce them.  We're going to need their support in the war your son started.” 

“She'll be a hostage.” 

He corrected her. “A guest.” 

“You think the piece of paper father gave you keeps you safe.  Ned Stark had a piece of paper too.” She bared her teeth. 

Tyrion replied softly. “It's done, Cersei.” 

“No.” 

His voice moved away from the door. “You cannot stop it.” 

“No!” Cersei must have knocked over things on the table because I heard glass shattering. 

“Just how safe do you think she will be if the city is sacked. Do you want to see raped, butchard like the Targaryen children. Make no mistake they'll mount her pretty little head on a spike right beside yours.” Tyrion warned her and I shook in fear when he mentioned the death of my siblings. 

Cersei shouted at him. “Get out!. Get out!” 

“Vaella.  I didn't expect to see you out here.  What's wrong?” Tyrion bumped into me when he rushed out of the room. 

I responded by rubbing the back of my neck not meaning to spy on the young lion and his sister. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spy.” 

“Don’t apologize for spying. That is one of the key things you must learn when you play the game.” 

Knitting my brows at him I asked. “The game. What do you mean?” 

“The game that is surviving this world of politics and fending for yourself.” Tyrion responded looking up at me. “Always know as many people as you can.  You have to be one step ahead of everyone you encounter.” 

My father had taught me that lesson the night he died. 

“You wanted to see me, father.” I slowly walked forward with Jaime standing near the bottom stairs, hand resting on his sword handle.  

My father sat on his throne scratching at his bleeding hand that he had cut on the metal chair when he say down. “You will be Wed off to Tywin Lannister.” 

“What! No, I won't.” I sharply snapped back at him. 

My father raised his voice. “You dare defy my orders, child.  I have already claimed your brother Rhaegar a traitor but I never expected you. Guards, seize her!” 

“Your Grace, surely you can spare her. She's your daughter.” Jaime softly spoke to him. 

My father sent him a glare. “Be quiet, Lannister!” 

“Father, please don't do this.” I winced when two guards grabbed my arms and held me tightly in their grips. 

Aerys Targaryen rose from his chair shouting down to me with such furry in his voice. “You have betrayed me, daughter. You are no longer loyal to me and for that I sentence you to die.” 

“My king, she's your daughter.” Jaime attempted a second time doing his best to not let too much emotion cross his facial expression. 

He didn't care not change his mind. “Shut up! Vaella Targaryen I sentence you to die. Burn her like the others.” 

“Your Grace, Robert Baratheon has reached the gates.” Another guard entered the throne room. 

My father sat back down on his throne waving his hand. “Let her go.  We have other traitors to attend to.” 

“How do you plan on doing that?” 

Horrifying words that would haunt me for the rest of my life came from his mouth. “Burn them all - burn them all!” 

“Vaella! You need to get out of here right now.”  Jaime helped me up from the ground and I gripped his forearm for balance. “There’s an escape hole under the tunnels. Go to the tunnel and my brother Tyrion will be there. Look for blonde hair and he's short.” 

“What about you?” I asked feeling my heart trying to beat out of my chest. 

He holds my shoulders in his hands. “I'll make sure he doesn’t send the guards after you. But I just want you to be safe.  You are one of the only people I care about.” Nodding my head I ran up the stairs and around the corner yet I halted in my tracks hearing my father utter those words over and over. 

“Burn them all!” 

Hiding behind the nearest pillar I peaked my head around watching Jaime slowly stalk behind my father who had risen from the throne shouting those three words over and over repeatedly. “Oh my god!” I shrieked, clutching my eyes closed after Jaime’s sword was stabbed into the back of his back and his body collapsed to the steps after he drew his sword out. 

A few other guards and Ned Stark entered the room quickly with Robert Baratheon all stunned at the sight before them. “Crown who you damn well like.” Jaime grumbled sitting on the throne with his half stained in blood sword.  Holding my hands over my mouth I couldn't form words knowing the realm would never be the same.