#so many people get him wrong and when i read their stuff i'm like who is this man

[taisho-era-secrets]

Foreplay Headcanons for KNY Men

Just doing this for Kyojuro, Sanemi, and Obanai because I have these characters on my mind currently and I can't really come up for headcanons for the others, so I won't force it.

Kyojuro Rengoku

Kyojuro is a man who wholeheartedly believes that foreplay does not just start in the bedroom and that it's not just a physical thing. He believes that foreplay involves setting the mood and is an entire day's work. He'll will do anything to make you feel relaxed and ready for intimacy, both physically and mentally. It's almost a compulsive thing for him also, he can't just... go straight to the bed and get to it. He has to plan it all out and make sure that you're both absolutely ready.

He'll make sure the estate is clean, there is dinner prepared, and the linens are washed. This doesn't mean that it's perfect, by any means, but he at least gives it his all and puts every ounce of his passion into the task. Sure, he's not the best at cooking and he's not the best at cleaning, but this doesn't mean that he doesn't get better every time he does it.

However, when it comes to getting you undressed, this man freezes up at least for a few minutes every. single. time. He still gets flustered and a bit overwhelmed even if you've been intimate or naked around him for years. It will always be like new to him. Don't worry, he shakes it off quickly, but not before showering you with so many loud complements that it makes you also flustered. He's definitely a man that will thank you for taking the moment to be intimate with him before doing anything also, he's just a gentleman like that.

Sanemi Shinazugawa

I'm sorry to be the one to say this, but in my heart I know Sanemi would not be great at foreplay. At least, not at the beginning. He's a quick learner, he'll get there, but it's the mixture of his impatience and his insecurity over being intimate that causes him to really fumble the first few times. Not to mention, it's his natural instinct to constantly want to get things like this done quickly- you never know when an enemy could strike. It took a while not only to calm him of his own nerves, but to suppress his demon slayer mindset.

It really just took you two sitting on the futon and talking together to really break through that ice. The last thing he wanted was to hurt you, and you were both in a very vulnerable place- for you, physically but for him, emotionally. Sanemi isn't one to take things slow, but he will for you. And the desire to want to do better and to give you what you deserve overpowered those bad habits he had, but it was all very gradual and took a lot of patience. It took many nights of just... touching, nothing penetrating, his fingers tracing up your legs and hips.

He would actually be the one to admit he needed to step back and breathe. His breathing would be shaky, his palms and forehead sweaty, he knows this isn't something he can just fake through.

His brief style of foreplay is pretty permanent for him, but there are a few occasions that he really lets his guard down just enough to have longer moments of intimacy with you. Those are cherished, of course, but you always know that they don't just come out of the blue. There's always something that triggered him into needing to soak up more of you- a close call during a mission, something that reminded him of his deceased friends or family, etc. There's always more to it but you know better than to be nosey.

Obanai Iguro

Obanai is very similar to Sanemi when it comes to the emotional state he's in at the beginning, except he was a bit quicker to learn and prefers to linger a bit more with foreplay. He was more willing to put his own emotions aside because in the end, he wanted what you wanted- what you needed. It still took time, but eventually Obanai's method of foreplay became more apparent.

He prefers lingering touches throughout the day that give you the hint that he wants you in bed, and that build up is really exciting. He'll either invite himself out to do whatever it is you're doing or he'll ask if you'll accompany him for the day, then the real fun begins for him. He'll pretend to "accidentally" brush his hand up against yours, sit close enough to you to have your legs barely touching, or use any excuse to touch your face, neck, or back. If you mention it or try and call him out, you'll see the sides of his cheeks come up and his eyes squint at you, hinting at a little smile of amusement. He'd never make you uncomfortable, but he loves to tease you.

Obanai also does not like to tell you directly that he wants you, he wants you to figure it out on your own. It's a bonus if he gets you to say it out loud to him, his eyes widening a bit with both shock and arousal if his soft, occasional caresses get you to say that you want him.

Obanai is a fan of gentle touches when it comes to foreplay. He's very careful with you and went out of his way to learn about massage techniques just to make you more comfortable. He really enjoys control play being incorporated into foreplay too, whether it's bondage or teasing until the other tells them what they want. And this can switch around too, he enjoys cleansing the palate and letting you lead from time to time. Foreplay is his favorite part of being intimate for this reason, really lets him see different sides of you.

[pyrriax]

ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏

[desperatelyseekingcannibals]

Telling Hugh Dancy about trans masc Will and more...

As some of you already know by now, I went to Boston Fanexpo this past weekend for another stop on the unofficial Hannibal 2024 Reunion Tour.

I had planned to do autographs on the Friday before the Hannibal panel and had brought some gifts for Hugh which included a copy of Adapt. Evolve. Become: The Genderqueer Fandom of NBC's Hannibal, which I compiled and edited last year. I also got him to sign my own copy (above).

It all moved quite quickly, but I did have the chance to explain that it's a volume by and about trans, non-binary, and genderqueer Fannibals that includes art, fics, essays, and personal pieces. He seemed intrigued and I said I hope he'd have the chance to read it and that the art isn't explicit/sexual but some of the fics are - he laughed and said he appreciated the warning.

It was all quite the whirlwind, especially after coming all the way from the UK, so I was absolutely mortified when I remembered the next morning that I had talked with a few trans Fannibals who had specifically asked me to let him know that he/Will is a trans icon. So I went back up to see him again on the Saturday morning when it wasn't too busy (and get more stuff signed) and this is what happened:

[I wrote notes down right after so this is as close an account I can get without having filmed it!].

Me: I saw you yesterday Hugh: I remember (smiley-friendly) Me: I gave you a book Hugh: I remember (smiley-friendly) Me: well, I forgot to tell you. A few trans Fannibals reached out to me to tell you that Will is a trans icon to them and we all love you for it. Hugh was surprised (in a nice way) and I was pretty much going to walk away then - job done and feeling like time for me to stop bothering Hugh lol. But before I could walk away he sort of held out his hand to stop me and said something along the lines of - I don't mean this in a disrespectful way, don't take it the wrong way... I'm genuinely curious- I get that it can be about identity- but what is the connection to Will and being trans? Luckily - my essay in the book is exactly about how Will can be read as trans, so I sort of gave him a summary of that. I explained that (obviously) both Will and Hannibal can be read as queer, and that - especially as both characters have dominant masculine and feminine traits, it's also easy to read them both as trans or in some way genderqueer. He was nodding and agreeing, so I further explained that with Hannibal, he is fully formed - he's already whatever he is - which Hugh also agreed with. But that Will is still becoming, still transitioning and therefore can be more relatable to trans fans who see that journey in themselves. So although it's not necessarily the same journey - there is enough to it that it resonates with trans people. I said that in the show there is also the added bonus of Will being seen and accepted for who he is, just as trans people wish to be. He was nodding along and agreeing with me and then he thanked me for explaining that. It was pretty quiet previously but I'd been there a few minutes so the queue was building up a little but he was so focused on me - so genuinely intent on hearing what I had to say and learning more. SO I CARRIED ON. (lols) I explained to him that it goes further than the show, that we have found a community in the fandom and that many trans people have a catalyst in their life that sparks their journey - like Will had in his friendship with Hannibal. For us it might be a person, an event, or even a TV show. I explained how the fandom are so supportive of trans people - that we are SEEN. That I for one wouldn't have been able to afford top surgery without the kind donations of Fannibals back when I was not in a good place (mentally or financially). That we all help each other and for some of us that has been life-saving. He did the hand on heart thing and said "wow" and was clearly moved. I said to him that so much of this is in the book, that I completely understand if he doesn't want to read the fanfic, but I really hope that he will at least read each of the personal pieces - that each of the fics and art also have a little write up from their creator about what the show and/or fandom has meant to them and their gender journey - how important this has been in our lives. He repeated a couple of times that he would definitely read it. I thanked him and he held out his hand and gave me the most genuine hand shake I've had in my life.

I want to really stress here how much this was instigated by Hugh. That he really wanted to know more and understand and didn't even look at the slowly growing queue but was instead intently focused on knowing more about the trans Fannibals and about why this show and the characters mean so much to us.

I then went off and spoke with a few Fannibal friends in the queue before getting around the corner to another Fannibal friend and having a bit of an emotional moment/breakdown. I can't even explain how grateful I am that he gave me the opportunity to explain all this to him. And I was especially glad I got to tell that Will is a trans icon because I'd have felt terrible if I'd have not done that after people had asked!! Thank you for trusting me to pass that message on for you!

💖

I know for many of you Adapt. Evolve. Become: The Genderqueer Fandom of NBC's Hannibal might have gone a little under the radar. So here is some more about that >>

It was compiled last year for Trans Hanni Day, edited by Max Turner of (and in conjunction with) A Coup of Owls Press - and published under Max's ACoO imprint.

It features essays, personal pieces, fanart and fanfic by and about trans, non-binary, genderqueer and otherwise non-cis Fannibals.

IT IS FREE TO DOWNLOAD, however we ask that if you do that, please consider donating to one of the linked trans orgs if you can afford to (or a similar organisation/charity of your choice).

It can be purchased on Amazon, however, as the proceeds go to charity, and Amazon only gives royalties, more is earned/given if bought directly via Max's shop.

Dearest trans Fannibals, please know that YOU ARE SEEN!

[teenytinyjimin]

i miss you, i’m sorry (j. jungkook)

nothing happened in the way i wanted

every corner of this house is haunted

and i know you said that we’re not talking

but i miss you, i’m sorry.

summary: the first time seeing each other after the breakup is always the hardest. but seeing each other when you're still in love? an absolute nightmare

pairing: jungkook x reader

word count: 2k

tags: angst, smoker!jk, brokenhearted!jk, equally as brokenhearted!reader, why did they even break up in the first place?, featuring reader’s bestfriend!jimin, also jimin is sexually ambiguous let's keep it that way please

warnings: none, alcohol/nic use but nothing too intense, kinda sad but it's a happy ending i promise

author’s note: idk why i keep making my fic names and stuff inspired by songs, i guess it just helps me beat writers block.

also i wrote this in second person, lmk if you guys prefer that over third. i personally find third person fics easier to write, but i'm sure second person is easier to read for some of you. enjoy my angels!

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Bars weren't really your thing.

If you were going to be honest, they were miles better than nightclubs, but still not your thing. It was something about the air that just rubbed you the wrong way. Perhaps it was all the creepy old men that turned you off of them, or just the fact that there's not much to do besides sit, drink, sit some more, maybe play some pool and... sit.

Jimin, on the other hand, loved bars. He loved being able to sit there, look pretty, and watch as absolutely anyone and everyone flocked over to him to start a conversation. It admittedly fueled his ego, and he loved the feeling of being the center of attention. However, he didn't love being at bars alone. Being so drop-dead gorgeous meant that about twenty times the amount of creeps bothered him than the average bar patron. Many of them figured that a pretty boy like him was sitting there waiting to be swooped up by a sugar daddy. Let's get one thing straight – that wasn't him. He had plenty of money. He just wanted to have a little conversation, give a little kiss here and there maybe, and dip at the end of the night with his bar companion by his side.

Unfortunately for you, that bar companion was usually you. It was certainly a compliment for Jimin to want to bring you along with him instead of any of his other gazillions of friends and other social connections, but it was quite exhausting for you to be in a bar pretty much every day of every weekend. He liked the attention, but you didn't. If it were an empty room with nothing but you and a bottle of rum, you'd have a blast. But what bar in Itaewon was going to be like that?

Alas, here you were, sat at the end of a bar with your friend sitting next to you. Something about the light in the building made him look extra beautiful tonight, his skin shimmering like the most precious of diamonds and his eyes deep and full of allure. At the moment he was making small talk with a lady on the other side of him, one who was definitely at least twenty years his senior but didn't look a day past thirty. Sighing, you drop your head down to look at your drink, a half-full martini glass that held a rather disappointing cosmopolitan (you weren't a vodka fan anyway, it wasn't the bartender's fault).

You wanted to be home. That was the only place you ever wanted to be these days. At home, cuddling your darling kitty in bed, and sleeping your days away. Maybe a year ago you would have loved being out and about, but now it feels more like a burden than a fun activity. And you know that Jimin doesn't mean any harm in doing what he does, but seeing him talk with so many people over the course of the night and being so happy is almost a bit gut-wrenching for you because you can't be as happy as him.

You began to feel the blood rush to your ears and your face get warm. Something was wrong, you could sense it. Everyone has those gut instincts when something isn't quite right, and this wasn't just an instinct, it was like a neon sign. A neon sign that read DANGER. Perhaps it was just you feeling rather anxious and overwhelmed, but either way you were craving the comfort of your home.

"Hey, 'Minnie, can we-" Just as you turned to Jimin to softly ask him if you could go home or at the very least switch bars, you felt a presence behind you. It wasn't just an I'm here to order a drink presence, but rather an I'm here for you one. Realizing that Jimin wasn't even listening anyway, you froze, waiting to see what would happen. And that's when you heard a familiar voice that you thought you'd never hear again.

"Hey."

You didn't want to turn around. You tried to stay as still as a statuette for as long as possible, however the more you thought about the man behind you the more you felt the urge to turn around and take a bite of the forbidden fruit. Taking a deep breath, you slowly turned until you were face-to-face with your ex, Jungkook.

"Want to talk outside?" Not yet looking at him directly, you hesitantly nodded before quickly looking back to Jimin and then standing up. You left your purse there, figuring that your friend would grab it if he changed locations, and began trailing after the tall tattooed figure that navigated his way toward the door.

As the two of you stepped out into the cool autumn air, you crossed your arms and leaned against the building. Your heart was between your ears at this point, buzzing at what felt like 200 beats a minute. It was stupid for you to have even left Jimin's side, you thought, because now you were alone with your ex of all people and God knows what this boy has up his sleeve.

"You look good," Jungkook said gently as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and placed one between his lips. "And I know what you're going to say, you're so full of it Kook, but I mean it."

"Since when have you started smoking?" You asked, ignoring his previous two statements and gesturing toward the pack in his hand. He shrugged. "Couple weeks after I last saw you maybe? Not a big deal."

"You know that stuff's bad for you."

"I don't think sitting here third-wheeling with Jimin and his beau of the night is any better."

"You don't know Jimin, don't act like you do," You said, completely taken aback and offended by the words coming out of his mouth. "And I'm having a good time, thank you very much."

"Doesn't seem like it. Weren't you about to ask him if you guys could leave?"

"I was having- What?- Is there a reason you asked to talk to me out here?" You were struggling to form a complete sentence. This man always knew how to leave you speechless, but now it was just irritating. You watched as Jungkook leaned back onto the building with you and shook his head, giving you a toothy grin before lighting the cigarette in his mouth. "Nah. Just figured you'd have more fun out here talking to me and getting a break from it all."

"You know he's waiting for me, right? I should go back inside." You stand back up straight and begin walking back into the bar, however you feel a warm hand wrap gently around your wrist and tug you back. "Hey hey hey," Jungkook called. "He'll survive a few minutes without you. Just chill with me. I'm not asking you for anything, just a second of your time."

You turned to face your ex-lover, your eyes finally meeting his for the first time that night. Even after all this time of being apart, those beautiful doe eyes still yearned for you, and yours for him. With a shaky sigh, you brush his hand away and return to where you were standing. "Exes don't hang out like this, Jungkook."

"Woah, you're pulling out the full government name on me now?" The boy teased, puffing a cloud of smoke from his mouth. "Should I be offended?"

"I'm setting boundaries," You crossed your arms and kicked at the ground beneath you. "Nicknames are for friends or more than friends, which we aren't."

"We aren't strangers either though."

"That doesn't matter. Not friends."

"Alright, fine," Giving up, Jungkook looked down at his hand and flexed it awkwardly. "Just trying to be friendly."

"Friendly?!" You said frantically, finally having enough of his antics. "You don't need to be friendly. We broke up and that's the end of it. Exes aren't friends. They go their separate ways and when they see each other again – if they see each other – they ignore each other. I don't get why you're doing this psychological warfare bullshit on me."

"Exes can be friends," He breathed out in protest. "Can you even tell me why we broke up in the first place?"

You remained silent. The truth was that you didn't know why you broke up either. It had been almost a year since the whole ordeal went down, and you were still confused more than anything else, even more than you were hurt. All you can remember is that you guys went through some bullshit ‘mutual breakup’ that apparently neither of you wanted in the first place. The only reason you even agreed to it is because somewhere within you, you felt like perhaps you weren’t deserving of such a wonderful relationship. And the only reason Jungkook agreed to it is because he thought that it’s what you wanted.

"No, seriously. What went wrong? What did I do? I just want some closure..." His voice became increasingly softer as he kept speaking, which only meant one thing. You stared at the ground intensely, refusing to look up and see his teary eyes.

You felt his hand gently wrap around yours and tug on it as a plea for your attention. Jungkook was your weakness, the only person you'd willingly do anything for, and he really loved to take advantage of that without even realizing he was.

You peered up at him hesitantly, worried that you'd find yourself in tears the second you saw the ones pouring from his eyes. Sure enough, when the eye contact began, you were driving yourself forward into his strong arms and dampening his shirt with your tears.

Jungkook's embrace felt the same as it did the last time you felt it. It was still so warm, so inviting, so loving. Never once did you feel unsafe in his arms and this moment was not an exception. As you sobbed into his shirt you felt his hand move from around your waist to the top of your head, stroking your hair gently.

The two of you stood there for what seemed like hours, simply letting all emotion out while enjoying the company of one another. While Jungkook has been exceptionally transparent in expressing the fact that he's heartbroken about the situation between the two of you, it's safe to say that you feel equally as devastated. This man was once the love of your life and the only one you ever needed, but now everything about him except for his embrace feels foreign. This was someone you once saw yourself building a life with, but now it's shattering to think that he has a life after you.

You pulled away after a while, refusing to make eye contact as you wiped the tears from your eyes. This all felt entirely pointless. It was obvious that nothing went wrong in the relationship yet here you were, no longer in one. You couldn't begin to imagine what Jungkook had been going through since you guys broke up considering the fact that for you, your entire world turned upside down.

"I'm sorry," You managed to choke out before you felt Jungkook's hand gently guide your face up to look at his. You watched him stare at you for a moment, taking in your features, before his lips began to curl into a soft smile. "Mmm. Yeah. You're way too pretty to let slip through my fingers."

Feeling your face turn hot as a blush crept to your cheeks, you let out a soft giggle before you were cut off by a familiar pair of lips meeting yours.

"JUNGKOOK?" You heard a voice call out. The two of you pulled apart, eyes wide. Shit. You forgot about Jimin.

[shuenkio]

Midas touch | 선우 (͡⁠°⁠‿⁠ ͡⁠°) 엔.하.이.픈 ᝰ.ᐟ

Paring: Sunoo X Male!reader ᝰ.ᐟ Genre: Suggestive, Fluff.

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Synopsis: Big boy is upset and sulking knowing that you'll be working as a makeup artist on the other members

Cw: slight Curse, jealous, a lil possessive.

Non proof read / Eng is not my 1st.

This is a work of fanfiction, do not throw unnecessary tantrums on this nsfw/sfw blog. ©Shuenkio

AᝰN: Sorry to my anon that I didn't do justice for this to be smau :( after thinking and write through for a while I'm okay with the suggestive instead. I hope you don't mind and give it a go >< thanks for the idea .

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Every fans dream was to be close to their own idols, such as work as stylists, make up artists, managers and so on. But little did they do, there was no love involved. Work means work, you can't go to work just to love your idol, you go to work for passion and living, isn't that right? Common sense.

However it was one in a million that you get chosen as a male make up artist for one of a popular boy group, ENHYPEN. Yet that was in the past, actually you've worked for them for God knows how long, ever since their Debut era, Given-Taken. If somebody asks how many things you've witnessed watching them grow, Proud is the only answer.

Being this young, and getting to walk in the same journey with the 7 boys, it's truly life changing, not only watching them grown, your mindset, maturity, emotional have grown too. You get to pinpoint what's right or wrong.

Present time, the one and only member that you've been working for the ultimate is Sunoo. To say how experienced you were with him, is quite easy. Sunoo is a guy who's easily outgoing, fun to talk to, making you feel exist, being by his side is never bored just sometimes when he's bored, he's scrolling his media.

➽──────────────❥

Making your way to the music show make up room, because ENHYPEN just came back with a new repackage album. There'll be tons of work for shooting promotions music shows, make up is very... Important.

Today is different, the boy's manager approaches you with some other new staff as well. He announced that you will be moved to work with another member, that turns out to be Jungwon for the next few months since the former staff took their break, while Sunoo got a new female staff member. Somehow it makes no sense why you have to move, when the new staff could go right to Jungwon but soon, was explained by the manager himself, that Jungwon suggested he wanted to work with you, also Sunoo is getting along pretty well with girls so why not. It clicked after the manager in the state, nothing more to be curious about.

Get to work right after, as you are doing make up for Jungwon, the leader seems happy that you agree to work with him while he chit chat with you how he had seen your work, your calm presence, and your aura around Sunoo and other people as well which response by your chuckle. Is that all he wanted? Silly boy. Beside that, Jungwon would find many dad crack jokes on you, practice his flirty skills out of the blue that affect you a lot, finding yourself tummy freeze from laughing.

Unbeknownst to you, Sunoo is upset and sulking on the other side. He was pouting all the time as the new female staff did her job quietly, and didn't dare to ask why. He was seen taking a deep sigh, chin resting, and introvert the whole time. Not when he heard Jungwon is flirting with you, all the goofy and cheese stuffs hearing from the other side that would make him hot. Yet he bottled it up, waiting for the right moment to have a talk with you?

Nearly time up for the attendance for the promotion shooting, the manager would ask all the members to get prepared, pee or drinks and essential things to do, that could delay the time. Coincidentally, as you are making your way to the bathroom, you see Sunoo was there too, but it seems like, when he looks at you, his eyebrows furrowed together just like you did something to make him mad.

Just like usual, best friend for many years, you go up and ask what's wrong with him, politely when he responds back making you surprised.

"M/n you never know who I am but... Seeing you with Jungwon makes my heart hurt!! Come back to me" instead of throwing a tantrum, Sunoo jotting his bottom lip out, pouting on the edge of crying as he speaks.

What is going on really, this is not sad but funny.

"oh gosh Sunoo snort i never knew you'd cry for this, but it's just a few months. It's not like

I only did it on him bias, sometimes I'd work on other members too including you, stop sulking it's not Sunoo anymore" You claim, explain how it works, as results that does light him up a lil bit, before flashing you a bright smile like he used too.

"Hug? Please~"

" sigh Okay, Hug" intended your arm open, as his talk frame wrapped around your small body. His hand smoothed over your back in slow, soothing circles, and you could feel the unspoken comfort in the way his chin rested on the crooked of your neck. All at once, the naughty hands of Sunoo grope both of the cheeks behind your back, His hand found your cheek with a touch that was both rough and unintentional, the calluses of his fingers brushing against your skin like an afterthought.

"Sunoo!? What's this behavior" You whine, as his hand feels your butt cheeks, carelessly on it as if he worships them, giving them some attention in case they need it but that's just him.

"but I miss this saur much, well I think it's bigger than mine now the last I've touched it, haha" Sunoo wheeze under his throat, as he pulled back his hands away and handed up like a police officer arrested him.

"You naughty boy, you're only sunshine in front of the fan but not for me" Blushing, tinted on your face. Crossing your hands over your chest, turn away from his playfulness. At some points his touch does make you feel the unspoken strange too, it kinda... Hot?

"okay okay, I won't do it again M/n don't be mad at me. Oh they're calling! See you later, I'll treat you to a cup of coffee after this, mwah" Blowing the sweetest kiss, before disappearing out of your sight.

Exhaled softly alone in the rest room, you find yourself thinking about his sudden touch earlier that does magic on you that can't be forgotten easily. It's just a few weeks apart from him before the comeback, but he grows more bold? Sigh deeply.

"Shit, why am I rock hard over this. Pull yourself together M/N!"

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[gotholdladywithadhd]

Unpopular opinion, probably.

So I've read many metas, and thought a lot about it and have come to my own personal conclusion about the final 15.

I'm taking it at face value.

Because it was the most human Crowley and Aziraphale have probably ever been and I think that is at least part of the point. Love makes people stupid and they are navigating a very human thing in very unhuman circumstances, and it's hard enough to do as a human in human circumstances!

I think Aziraphale believed the Metatron about Crowley bc he was expecting the worst when TM mentioned Crowley but instead got the one thing he wanted most (him and Crowley together and safe, not Crowley being an angel. ) Crowley was absolutely the carrot here. (and no I do not think Crowley would have been safe or happy, but that's besides the point.) I can't tell you how many times I've believed patently ridiculous things because I wanted to believe them so badly even though if I was looking at the same situation objectively from an outside POV I would see how ridiculous it was, so I totally get it. This isn't to say I think Azi had a real choice to go to Heaven or not and I think he did understand that as well, but I get the temptation the Metatron threw out to him, I really do.

As for Aziraphale literally saying all the wrong things to try and get Crowley to come with him? Um yeah been there done that too, the nerves take over, the brain shuts off, the mouth goes into autopilot pulling stuff out its ass, and "WITAF did I just say?" happens.

Crowley not taking any of it well and only hearing what he expected to hear (I'm not good enough for you bc I'm a demon and you only really want me if I can be an angel) *and* also being more able to see through heavens bullshit bc he has lived it, and can see it from the outside, *and* all whilst being the most honest and vulnerable he has ever been with Aziraphale in 6,000 plus years (or in fact possibly to anyone, ever. the closest before this admitting he was lonely to Azi during the Job minisode,) *then* hearing what he took to be the same Heaven will save us line from Azi was enough to trigger a massive bout of RSD and a broken heart. Everything was supposed to "vavoom and sorted! " and instead the stupid awning broke and everything went wrong. I think I've said it before that at this point Crowley can't hear anything over the sound of his heart breaking into a million pieces.

That's a whole lot to pack into the brief moments before Azi has to leave with the Metatron (who let's be honest was rushing him before he could change his mind) esp when neither of them are used to discussing their relationship openly. They didn't have time to think, to ask questions, to share information, (like hey guess what really happened to Gabriel?) Crowley tried to communicate as much as he could about his feelings with the kiss but Azi didn't have the time to properly process all that and said the wrong thing again and Crowley was rejected (he thought) again and it all just went so very wrong. You can't fix a 6,000 year relationship in 15 minutes, you just can't no matter what the story books say.

It's about two people wanting the same thing but not being able to get it (yet) because of circumstances and personalities. All of S2 was about them seeming to be closer than ever (and in many ways they were) but really they were opposed at almost every turn. (in RL not the minisodes, those actually showed them working together and coming out okay mostly, if you don't count wee Morag or Crowley getting dragged to hell) The way they both handled the Gabriel situation, how they both worked to solve the mystery, even how they tried to make Nina and Maggie fall in love were all either done alone, or in opposite ways. I've said it before and I'll say it again, as it was pointed out right in ep1, their exactlies aren't the same and until they are, they aren't going to be able to be together. The one time they did work together in the season, they produced a 25 lazuri miracle. That is the point of the final 15, and the whole season 2 in my opinion.

They'll get there in the end though!

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Alright, so there's been a lot of chatter about some of the most common racist takes in the fandom lately, and I know most people aren't engaging in good faith but I'm gonna spell some things out anyway. Here's a handy-dandy White Fan's Intro to Racist Fanon 101

Why is it racist to depict Ed as uncontrollably violent?

Because he's not actually depicted that way in the show. OFMD goes out of its way to depict Ed's relationship with violence as complex and intensely traumatic for him. Because he has so many hangups around violence, Ed is one of the least violent characters in a show full of violent characters. He is always shown giving people many chances before they're able to push him into reacting with violence.

Even if you think you're just doing a character study on a guy who is really very complex and nuanced, please take the time to consider if you're assigning more weight to Ed's violent actions than those of other characters or assuming he's worse than he actually is (for example, Ed never physically hurt the crew during his kraken spiral, just Izzy. His crime was being a shitty boss, not going on mindlessly violent rampages).

What do other common fanon depictions of Ed that are racist look like?

The biggest ones are depicting Ed as untidy/messy, as illiterate, and as needing a white man (most often Izzy) to clean up after him. I hope I shouldn't have to spell out why these are racist, but please keep an eye out for them in the fanon you consume so you can be critical of how you respond when they pop up.

Are you saying that all Izzy fans are racist?

Liking a character is morally neutral. Insisting that the viewpoint of an antagonistic character is the lens through which the show should be understood, though, especially when that antagonistic character's whole deal in the first season of the show was trying to control the behavior of the brown lead so he could gain power for himself, however...

Just please consider - why do you find Izzy's tears more deserving of sympathy and compassion than Ed's?

But my hot take/fic/meta doesn't say anything about Ed's skin color!

It doesn't have to. Most of the racist takes/fic/meta out there don't mention Ed's skin color explicitly. Racism doesn't just look like saying "this character is a brown man so he's bad." Everyone who grows up in a racist society (that's everyone on the planet, btw, you included) has biases to unlearn, and those biases impact how you interact with the world around you, including with the media you consume.

The thing is, OFMD isn't a subtle show. It's very consistent with telling us who Ed is, how he responds to situations, and why he behaves the way he does. If you find it easier to throw all that aside in favor of believing what a white antagonistic character tells you about him, then you should really take a bit to examine that.

And here's the most important thing to keep in mind:

This is not about you.

Trust me, it has to be pretty damn bad for fans of color to call out racism in fandom. Every time we do, we know we're gonna harrassment and just some truly awful shit in our inboxes. But you, random white fan who Did A Racism? No one is out to get you. No one thinks you're an awful person for including a racist trope in your stuff, we just wish you'd examine it so we can make this fandom a better place for everyone.

I have had amazing discussions with white fans who saw my posts on fandom racism and wanted a sensitivity read or a check so they could fix an instance where they uncritically included a racist trope. But most people who make similar mistakes will just double down and insist they didn't do anything wrong, and that makes fandom a worse place for all of us.

Fans of color deserve to feel safe and included in this fandom, and we're just tired of feeling like we have to beg to get some circles to see poc as people. You can do your part by being critical of these tropes and your reactions to them when they pop up.

[acesinferno]

What if (Portgas D. Ace X Reader)

I made a big long post talking about how just a simple little phrase affects my everyday life. So I'm going to start putting it to use and maybe doing a 'what if' series for my favorite characters from One Piece. Like I said in the post all of this writing is for my own comfort, but I'm posting it in case someone like me who spends all their time reading fan fiction wants something to read.

Synopsis: Ace lives after Marineford but has to deal with the deaths of people on the crew dying. His best friend and partner is there to comfort him when he feels responsible.

Additional stuff: Hurt/Comfort and Fluff

Potential Trigger Warnings and other mentions: Mentions of Death, Spoilers for Marineford Arc, Grieving, Strong Language, Bathing/Washing

Word count: 2.5K

Pairing: Portgas D. Ace X GN! Reader

"Ace?" You call out as you walk into his cabin. It's been almost three weeks since Marineford and the deaths of your captain, Whitebeard, and so many other good people on your crew. Ace hasn't stepped out of his cabin since. Marco has had to go in to even change his bandages. 

"What?" He snaps as he turns his head toward you at the door. He looks like a total mess. His hair looks like a rat's nest, his face puffy and red from crying, and he just looks completely miserable. 

"Brought you some food." You motion to the tray of food in your hand. Ace never turns down a good meal. You walk over to his bed and sit down on the edge of it. He doesn't meet your gaze as you get a better look at him. His cheeks are gaunt and pale. The color and life you've grown accustomed to in them are gone. He looks to be a shell of his former self. 

"Don't really want to eat right now, partner. Thanks, though." He sighs. You set the tray down on the blanket adjacent to him and scoot closer to his side. He barely even glances up as you move. Once you're completely side by side next to him, you make a point not to look at him. 

"Ace. Talk to me. I really can't stand seeing you like this. It's not like you whatsoever." You tell him, blindly reaching to grab his hand and hold it in your own for reassurance. He mumbles something entirely incoherent. "What? I didn't hear you?" You question. 

"I said it's my fault! It's all my fault! If I hadn't been set to be executed, then no one would have gotten hurt! No one would've died! Pops would still be here!" He cries out. Ace has always held himself to a much higher standard than anyone else, thinking he has to work hard for people's love and approval. 

"Ace.... What happened, it wasn't your fault. Everyone there knew the risks that were included to get you back; we didn't care. We chose to risk our lives because we wanted to save you. End of story." You tell him. "Tell me. If it was Marco on the chopping block or Jozu or even Whitebeard himself, would you have wanted to leave them?" You ask him with a pout.

"That's completely different, and you know it." He scowls as he speaks. His arms going up to cross over his chest in a huff. He's glaring at the side of your head as you continue to face forwards. 

"How is it different?" You interrogate. "I don't see a difference. In fact, it makes total sense. You're the second division commander, Ace. That's not a title to let go of lightly. You're a high-ranking officer in the crew." You state, he scoffs as you bring up his rank. "You're also our family, Ace. Pops called you his son; that's not something to forget either. You're also my best friend in this whole world." You admit. 

"So many people died. So many good crewmates, including our captain. I'm not worth all of that." He winces. When you finally look over at him again, you see tears forming in his eyes. Ever the caring best friend, you lift your hand and cup his face in your palm. 

"You think you get to decide that? The people who fought to save your life decided what you were worth, and it was a whole damn lot." You grin at him. "So are you going to tell them they're wrong? Going to sit here and rot in your bed when people sacrificed themselves to see you continue to live and to thrive? I don't think that's very grateful at all, Ace." You explain as you caress his cheek with your thumb. "Make 'em proud, Ace. I know you have it in you." You voice your opinion on him out loud to break through to him. 

"It's not that easy." He proclaims. "I still feel like shit for getting put on the chopping block in the first place. I'm not just going to magically feel better about myself. They're still gone. Not coming back." He explains with an exasperated sigh, his hands on his chest, falling to his lap. 

"I didn't expect you to magically feel better, Ace. No pretty words can fix every feeling you have in an instant. You've got to work for it. Work to feel better and to learn to cope properly. But hoarding yourself away in your room and wasting away isn't the move." You profess. "Ace, it's going to take time. I know that; you know that. But you don't have to go through this alone. I'm right by your side." You tell him. Your other free hand goes to the other side of his face to force him to look you in the eyes. 

"What if I can't do it? What if I can't move on from this? You'd be wasting your time on a lost cause, partner." He looks so vulnerable as some of the tears start to fall down his freckled cheeks. 

As your thumb comes up to wipe the tears off his cheeks, you reply with a whispered tone. "What if you can, Ace?" He looks shocked. "What if you can move on from it? What if you prove Pops and everyone else right? What if you continue to live and make them all proud? Did you ever think of that?" You question. Tears are streaming down his face at a constant rate now as he takes in your words. 

Before he can fully gather his thoughts and respond, you move your hands from his face and wrap around his torso and pull him into a hug. He so obviously needed one. "Besides, you've still got Luffy to watch out for. Can't have you stuck in bed for the rest of your life. He needs his big brother." You laugh lightly as you hold him against you. He doesn't even try to respond as he soaks your shirt in tears.

"You've got your whole life ahead of you, Ace. So many people who wanted to see what amazing things you can accomplish. It's worth a try. I mean, really, what have you got to lose?" You hum as you hold him, rubbing soothing circles into the skin on his back. Running your hands up and down his Jolly Roger tattoo. "I'm sure Pops is waiting in the afterlife to see what great things you'll achieve." You announce with a smile on your face.

He nods against you as his sobs get louder. You can tell he just needed to let this all out. He's been bottling this up for weeks now. As you sit there and hold him, you begin to hum soft sea shanties to calm him. His sobs quiet into soft cries and then go silent, but he doesn't move against you. When you look down, you realize Ace has fallen asleep against you. You can't tell if it's his narcolepsy that knocked him out or if it's just been a long time since he's slept. Just the state of him lets you know how rough he's been on himself after everything. 

As you hold him, you begin to think it's more of the latter. You maneuver the two of you down on the bed and cover you both up, careful of the food you brought in. He's sleeping soundly pressed up against you, though he's lying completely limp. You decide to watch over him for the next few hours, foregoing your own sleep to make sure he gets peaceful rest. 

It's going to take a long time for him to fully recover and be back to his old self, but with you there by his side, you're sure everything will work out. You won't let your best friend stay in this hole forever. No way, no how. 

After about nine or so hours of him sleeping, he wakes up to the sun rising through his porthole window. He looks groggy as he wakes up, blinking like he's confused about what he's cuddled up to. "Good morning, Ace." You say in a teasing tone. "Someone cried himself to sleep in my arms last night. You must have been exhausted." You giggle. His face turns red as he averts his eyes from your gaze.

"Come on. I'm not letting you mope any longer." You tell him. "We're getting you a bath and taking you to Marco's office so he can change your bandages." You declare as you get out of the bed and grab his hands to drag him out with you. He groans as you pull him out but stands before he can fall onto the floor. 

"Marco's left me the stuff here to change the bandages myself. Do I really have to go to his office?" He whines as he gets yanked further into the bathroom. As you let go of him and start to fill the tub up with warm water, you look up and see the state of his bandages. 

"Have you even changed them once since he left the stuff?" You ask as you see how grimy they look. "It looks like you've laid down on the deck and rolled in the dirt everyone's tracked on." You comment. Once the water is filled up to an adequate level, you turn your attention to him completely. You begin to unravel all the bandages and see the damage that's left after this past month of healing.

Though his wounds look ten times better than when he first acquired them, there's still a long way to go until his physical health is back to its' peak. A lot longer to go for his mental health as well, that you know for sure. You try not to stare too long as you take in the yellow healing bruises, the large burns on his chest and back from Akainu's attacks, and the scrapes and cuts from some kind of sea stone weapons. 

"Come on. Let's get undressed and take a bath together." You grin at him. He blushes a bright red but doesn't object. He sees you take off your clothes first and climb into the tub. "Hurry up and get in, Ace; you look like someone's dragged you through a puddle of mud." You motion for him to get in the bathtub in front of you. He sighs but follows your instructions. He quickly sheds his shorts and climbs in with you. 

The water is already steaming warm, but just having Ace in with you seems to make it feel even hotter. As you grab the washcloth and begin to suds it up, Ace relaxes and leans back against you. He's completely boneless against you. You begin to clean him up at a slow pace so he can enjoy the feeling of being taken care of. 

Starting with his face, then moving down to his neck and collarbones, and then continuing your trail down his body, cleaning off all the dirt and muck on him. As soon as you're done with his skin, you move onto his shaggy hair. Normally looking pretty greasy, you decide it's high time you clean it and get the knots out of it. 

You have to start at the bottom and work your way up. Slowly going through each piece of his hair and working out the tangles with your finger, you know you're going to have to brush it when you get out to totally get the job done." Always had such greasy hair before, Ace. Wonder what it's going to look like shampooed and conditioned." You tease him lightly as you continue to lather his hair up thoroughly. 

"Maybe if you shut up and kept working, we'd know quicker." He scoffs with a blush on his face. You can tell you embarrassed him there with your words. You continue your ministrations for a few more minutes until you know it's time to rinse it out. You grab the hand-held sprayer and hose him down, taking good care not to get any in his face. After he is rinsed, you begin the process all over again with the conditioner. 

"Don't get feisty with me, Ace. I'll drown you like a wet dog with this thing." You threaten as you motion to the sprayer. He rolls his eyes and makes no motion to react. After a few minutes lathering his hair up again, you rinse him one more time. "Alright, hot shot. Get up. Going to have you dry off, and then I'll bandage you back up. Where's the stuff Marco left?" You quiz him. 

"Should be on my dresser, near the door." He sighs and stands up and gets out to dry off. You quickly move out as well. Grabbing the towel and going out to grab the care package, while you're out there you grab him some underwear and soft sweatpants and borrow yourself some clothes as well. You quickly slip on the stolen clothes and make your way back to where he is waiting. He's leaning against the sink counter with a towel wrapped around his waist. You set Marco's supplies on said counter and quickly get to work applying burn cream and soothing ointments to the wounds that litter his skin. 

Ace makes no motions of pain or any indications at all that you're even there. He's staring straight ahead into the wall as you begin to wrap him up in the bandages. "Hey, partner?" He speaks up in a soft tone. "What if I want to try? What if I want to get better, to not waste their sacrifice?" He gulps; his voice is quieter than usual, like he's scared of your reaction. 

"Then I'll be right here to support you every step of the way, Ace. Simple as that." You tell him as you tie up the bandages that are wrapped around him. As soon as you're done and stand back up straight, you're wrapped in a strong hug and caught up in a kiss. The hug was something you'd come to expect from Ace, but the kiss was new. It was filled with love and passion as you began to kiss him back. 

He pulls back first, breathless. "Thank you." He whispers out against your lips. "For always standing by my side. I know I'm a lot to handle. Luffy got that after me. But you've never once doubted me. It's going to be a long road ahead to get fully better, but I want to travel it with your help." He sniffles, tears pricking his eyes again as he leans back in to place another chaste kiss against your lips. 

He's right; the road would be long to recover fully from the losses, the grief, and the guilt. However, there's no one better to walk through it with than with a partner by your side. Ace just lucked out and found the best partner in the world to help him. And you, well, you got him. The greatest partnership of all.

[nitpick7]

i feel like the life series fandom has not properly utilized the angst potential of the wildcards yet. and maybe i just haven't read enough posts or fics yet, which is definitely possible, but i'm gonna ramble anyway. (disclaimer: i've watched every pov but probably will get details wrong anyway.)

session one. pearl goes off, alone, away from her group for just a bit. just to mine a little bit more, get some iron. she's crouching at the edge of a cliff to get a better look at the cave, when suddenly the ground isn't underneath her anymore. she doesn't even slip, doesn't have time to react, she just falls.

session two i've thought about so much that i started writing a oneshot (unfortunately still a wip). everyone having to eat rocks and ores and wood and just so many things that they are not meant to eat... but they're all literally starving and real food doesn't fill them anymore. so they're biting into anything they can get their hands on, just hoping and praying that it fills them and doesn't poison them or make them float away... the terror every time the food changes? scrambling to find the next items to eat. ough.

the SNAILS. god. the snails. those things are cute but deadly. bigb, start of the session, seconds after the wildcard activates, hearing something and seeing something and then he's dead. gone. he's gone from peacefully mining to dead in seconds flat and everyone instantly knows just how deadly this one will be.

the speed one... has less angst potential. it's more just the constant fear, being constantly on edge, not used to the speed everything is moving at. they're frustrated at being too slow or their brains aren't moving as fast as their legs, or it's the very start of the session and they're frozen in time with no idea what's happening.

triviabot is less about the trivia itself and more about how it makes everyone act. sabotaging their friends and enemies alike, hiding bots, feeding people false information. they can't trust anyone in that session. but the moment they can trust someone, they latch onto them. someone gets a question about an ally and books it across the server to ask them about it, hoping their bot is still there when they get back.

more on triviabot: there's also the effects if they get something wrong. the robot voice is crazy because to themselves, they sound perfectly normal, but no one can fucking understand them. they're just unable to communicate and don't know for how long. or they're knocked down a few hearts, unable to be fully healed. constantly hurting at least a bit. being equipped with leather armor that they can't take off, unable to protect themselves. tripling in size, not being able to fit anywhere or do anything because they're so big. or their snails coming back, slower but still terrifying.

the mobs one... the very first thing that happens is everyone's beloved pets being killed. unless they happened to have the resources for a nametag beforehand. bdubs almost lost his horse! lizzie spent forever trying to collect mobs just for them to be murdered again! and the trial chamber. grian, joel (who didn't even want to be there), etho, scar; already in the midst of battle, and then all the fucking mobs change? they were terrified in real life, do you know how good that could be in fics?

you may think that there is little angst potential from superpowers. you would be wrong. again, it's less from the wildcard itself and more from how it makes people act. impulse teleporting ren into an obsidian box full of water in order to prove ren was lying about his power? that shit's CRAZY. WHAT THE HELL. impulse literally tried to drown ren to prove scott's point! and like good for him but!!! holy shit!!!!! or grian, who should know what he's doing, losing pearl's ability mid-air and falling to his death - grian falling to his death? (and obviously the listener symbolism with martyn and jimmy. we know we can do stuff with that.)

the final session is just. all of that. but combined. and more wild. it's everything all at once, randomly activating and deactivating, no one knows what's going on and it's a mess. just confusion and chaos.

so. yeah. there is my ramble, i might do smth with this but i might not. please add to this if you have more wildcard related angst, i will love you so much. Ɛ:

[nemesis-writer]

[Unwanted Ransom(Chapter 6)]

Masterlist Oxytocin

TW- some shows of mental illness

10 years ago...

"Xerxes come on say something this is a safe place."

"Then why is there a camera?"

"It's there just in case you get-"

"I get what, crazy? Yeh, lady I know the drill"

"It says in your file that you have gone through multiple doctors in the past since your mother's death."

"And what makes you think you can fix me?"

"Because you are special, you have so much potential, and you put it all to waste."

"Who cares? My so called 'family', if I can recall they abandoned me, neglected me, and one of the little brats scarred me." Yep you obviously know who I'm talking about

"Xerxes, don't put the blame on others."

"You've been married for 15 years, three kids, one teen, one toddler, and one infant.

You're parents are divorced and no matter how many times you and your husband hate each other you wanna stay married in order to prevent the same trauma you had pass on to your kids.

Did I get it correct? Oh wait don't answer that I'm always correct." I sighed laying my head down.

"And you've become observant when it comes to hurting others, see I've studied your pattern of behaviour based on the reviews all your other doctors have represented to me before I took this case. And boy was it a long read.

Technically I'm entitled to tell you anything that could help you. And you thought that you could go through me?"

"I don't give a fuck what people say, who do I trust? No one, if a friend wants to jump on train tracks, don't expect me to hold their hand.

I don't give a damn what they insinuate about me anymore, I am an Amala never a Wayne, so I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to." And with that I abruptly stood up and grabbed my bag, I head out there.

The only reason I went there because, my 'dad' heard that I got into a fight and handcuffed the brat in the janitor's closet.

Just suck it up Xerxes, in a few years, you can finally escape them.

'Just suck it up' That's the advice I'd always tell myself no matter how much I cried, scream, or hurt myself.

Present...

"AHHHH, PETE, THERE IS A FUCKING BUILDING!!!!" I screamed as I held on tight to him.

"JENNY MOVE YOUR HAIR, OH SHIT!!!" he lost a bet so he had to swing me from Vincent's house to dad's. When we finally descended, I sighed and laid on the floor for a while.

"Y'know MJ would normally puke with this." He sighed.

"I'm built different" And I walked normally inside my house, I didn't feel any signs of...

fuck

oh wait

Oh shit

never-mind

I rushed to my bedroom's toilet and hurled a lot. Gosh, I should've listened to MJ. With that I washed my face, and brushed my mouth. I went down-stairs ignoring my surroundings.

I kinda had a crush on Pete for a while, but then I met Vincent and felt like Pete is a brother to me.

"AYOO, PETE LET'S GO WATCH SAW 2-" I immediately cut myself off when I saw, something I thought was a dream.

oh wait

it can't be

tell me I'm dreaming.

OH SHIT....

"Hey baby bird-" Richard stuttered, and tried to hug me.

"Back off Grayson, dad what the fuck is going on."

"Xerxes-"

"Who said I was talking to you limp-dick? Now dad seriously what the hell is going on here?" I looked at dad with puppy eyes, gosh I'm so adorable.

"Now, they just came here to drop your stuff." He explained.

"They are not my things they are Xerxes' things, I only things that I need are what I have now." I stated, as I looked at the cunt who ruined my life, I only sighed.

"Xerxes-"

"Zip it Timothy, or I'll tear you're tongue from your head." I stated, I've been watching the Originals again, and might I add, Nikklaus' has been looking good.

"Xerxes-" Jason tried to start. But I cut him off with a glare, he then corrected himself.

"Jennifer, we miss you and we apologise-"

"For what? Neglecting me? Abandoning me? LEAVING ME TO DIE?"

"We didn't mean to." They all protested.

"Bullshit!"

"Language!" Dad sighed.

"When is my birthday?"

"January 7?"

"No, it's September 8, what the hell is wrong with you people?" I was eager to run and ditch these people and run up to my room.

"Xerxes, you're my sister come on." He tried to grab me, but I dodged it and grabbed his hand spinning him downwards. Thanks Nat.

"Touch me one more time, and your arm won't be the only thing that will hurt."

I immediately rushed upstairs and ran to my room, locking it, which activates voice-recognition. Gosh, I was so angry with them. I started to get really angry and accidentally punched a hole in my wall that was connected to Morgan's room.

"JENNY!!!" Oh fuck.

"SORRY M! I'll fix it later." And with that I just dropped onto the bed. I grabbed my phone and texted Vincent.

Jinx- Hey V

V- Hey Jen, how r u?

Jinx- My previous fucked-up family is back now

V- damn, wanna hang tommorow? 🙂

Jinx- Sure, but I gotta lotta hw tho 😢

V- call me if you can then 🤙🏻

And with that I decided to lay down and wonder how fucked up my life could get. I started to fall asleep so I decided to shut down all of my devices, in order to avoid the annoying sound of the 'Brady Bunch' trying to text me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N- It could've been longer if my dumbass didn't accidentally delete my first draft, could've been so much better.

Taglist

@lunayaps, @not-aya, @iluvcatzz, @vanessa-boo, @ivyrose9194

[princesstarfire1234]

TLDR: I fucking despise ship art and fanfics that infantilize Orion Pax / Optimus Prime

Okay so I just wanna put my thoughts out here right now because I've not seen many people talk about it and it honestly bothers me a lot...

So, it's no secret that I ship MegOp and stuff right? I like and have reblogged a bunch of art of them before and I will keep doing so, but something about how this place (or more certain parts of the fandom) portray the ship gives me major icks and I fucking hate it so much

Detailed thoughts under cut ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Case in point, a massive part of the TFP fanbase likes to ship Orion and Megatronus and I get that, I get why people like shipping those two but it's the WAY they do it. A lot, not all, but most of the fanart surrounding Orion Pax and Megatronus is him being like the smaller and more submissive one of the relationship which fine, whatever, but most people just end up drawing him REALLY small like ik he's shorter than Megs who was a gladiator and all that and he was an archivist but jesus christ... Aside the size which is weird and all but it's really all about the rampant infantilization of the guy. When they remove all agency from the character and act like Orion is gonna fucking combust the moment someone confronts him or tries to fight him like no... I've not read Exodus but I don't think Orion being a nerdy book guy is gonna make him THAT soft, this is still the same mech who became PRIME like cmon

I don't know the exact words for it other than "infantilization" but like y'know what I mean right?? I'm not gonna name blogs but there's this one AU on here where Orion is blind and it has this cutesy artstyle which is fine but I vividly remember reading a comic on that AU where some thugs confront Orion and he's all like sobbing and shit and has to be saved by someone and it's... so you made him disabled and also a crybaby and absolutely incapable of anything??? Does that NOT give you an ick of sorts or seem weird??? God I don't even know anymore because I've seen many people seem to like that so I'm just scared I'm the weird one and wrong for this lmfao... Maybe there's smthn im not getting, you tell me

Anyways this post is getting real long, but this kind of "infantilization" also applies to certain fanarts of TFA MegOp, I always thought the ship was bordering on kind of strange (since TFA Optimus is like the equivalent of some 20-something college dropout and Megatron is implied to have been doing the war stuff way way way back like Ratchet's time) but I won't get into that, I just don't ship that certain brand of the characters myself, but it's fine, do what you want with it. Just know that I have seen art of those two where they treat TFA Optimus as this sort of incapable cutesy uwu boy (aaaghh)

So yeah.... hahahaha stop infantilizing characters and taking a ship where they're both grown ass big men and like straight up turning the other one into some weird ass incapable version of the character that lacks any and all agency and honestly bordering on being really icky as fuck, thank you, idc if you make Optimus the bottom or whatever, that's not what I mean, cya ✌️

[kirain]

Please don't get me wrong, I like gale well enough, but he turns me off because I get the impression that he wouldn't care much about what I have to say. He's so intelligent and wise and he clearly has years and years of education and study under his belt. So what on earth could I even talk to him about without boring him to death? Because honestly, I like to talk, like, a lot. I'm just as passionate about stuff but not nearly as knowledgeable and I fucking hate that look on people's face when they're blithely listening to stuff that bored them? Im not knowledgeable enough to have anything to offer him

This is ironically how Gale feels about himself. He feels like he has absolutely nothing to offer anyone, which is why he went after the orb in the first place. He felt inadequate for a goddess, and he feels inadequate for Tav. The idea that Tav is attracted to him genuinely shocks him, too, because from his standpoint ... who could possibly love him? He's just a guy who screws everything up. That's why he's so elated when Tav shares their feelings with him.

He knows magic, but he doesn't know the world. He's clueless in certain areas. Despite being so knowledgeable and passionate about magic, he wants to know Tav. He doesn't care how intelligent or unintelligent you are, he only cares that you're a good person. I haven't finished his romance yet, but I've made some pretty silly decisions (like licking a dead spider) and he's still sticking by me. His desire for Tav isn't transactional at all. In fact, he'd probably find your question "what on earth could I even talk to him about without boring him to death" perplexing. The answer is anything! Gale's passion is learning and sharing knowledge, and if you talk to him about a subject he's already well versed in, he won't shut you down, he'll just match your enthusiasm. I'm playing as a wizard, and every time I've spoken to him about the Weave or books or anything my character knows as a result of her background, he gets excited, not bored.

Moreover, Gale's hobbies mainly consist of reading. That's it. He likes to sit on his balcony and read. I'm sure many people would consider that boring, and he knows it. That's why he gets agitated when you first meet him. He blatantly tells you his hobbies and everything he loves; reading, writing poetry, his cat, so when you ask him to elaborate or say "tell me the real you" he gets a bit defensive. He dodges the question about his past and anything regarding the orb, but he was also being 100% honest about who he is. He does love reading, he does write poetry, he does worship his cat, but that's all he really has going for him and he knows it's not substantial. At least not from his perspective. He's insecure.

Mystra was his entire life. He was secluded from childhood by a groomer and only had Tara and tutors on the side. Then he lived alone in his tower for over a year, fearing death, regretting his mistakes, and reevaluating his life. Companionship is literally the best thing you can offer Gale, because it's the only thing he truly wants. Even just a simple friendship means the world to him. Anything else you bring to the table is an absolute bonus. Don't forget, when you reach his maximum affinity he responds to your queries with, "Always a delight to speak with you."

[rockscanfly]

@noshirdalal's cameo response to the following prompt:

Before the gang breaks apart and Arthur gets sick, what does a happy future look like to Charles? Has he ever even thought that far ahead at that point? Based off the scene in Shady Belle at the campfire when he discusses how trapped he feels in the cycle of violence that's been his life up until that point, Charles has struggled with thoughts of suicide in the past. Is there a point before the end of the epilogue where he's found hope? Charles seems the type of person to throw himself into becoming whatever the people he cares about needs in that moment. Before leaving Beecher's Hope for Canada, is there something he's wanted for himself?

Once again, Noshir blew my expectations out of the water and left me with even more questions than before. Does Charles hesitate to start a family when he hears what happened to the Marstons? Does he end up tracking down Jack, picking up yet another obligation from a fallen brother?

Does he ever find a way from under the curse he believes follows him, or does John's death and Jack's heel-turn into the life finally crush that hope out of him? Is that when Sadie re-enters his life?

I'm so grateful Noshir opened up his cameo to talk about Charles and his headcanons and I encourage everyone else to go throw questions of their own his way.

Full transcript of the video below the read more:

(/transcript start) Rocks, hi! What a beautiful question, and I’ve been thinking about my answer a lot. 

So, you’re right. I mean, Charles has had a really hard life. A really hard life. You know, the people dearest to him when he was little were either taken from him or completely failed him. And his life has been hard ever since. And I think that he’s done a lot of stuff that he’s not proud of in an effort to survive and to find his way. And violence is always kind of peering over his shoulder. You know, he can feel it there. 

But for all that, I would actually counter that the central pillar of who Charles is, like the thing that makes him who he is—is hope. 

I read somewhere once that true courage is having the worst day of your life and putting your head on the pillow and telling yourself ‘tomorrow will be better’. I think Charles has had many, many, many nights like that. 

Because I think that if he didn’t have that hope he would despair. And then I think he would surrender to the, you know. Kind of base urge to just do whatever you need to to come out on top. And I think if Charles ever felt that he’d be a terrifying dude. A terrifying guy. And I think he fights that urge every day. 

That’s really astute what you said about, kind of you know, he—he kind of takes on and fulfills whatever role it is the people around him need him to be. I think that’s very fair to say. And I think we most see that in Beecher’s Hope. 

Because, Charles’ best friend gives up his life to ensure that John has the chance at a new life. And I think when Charles learns how things went down he doesn’t even really kind of consciously register, but he just picks up that, that obligation, right? He inherits it from his friend where he fell and vows to see it through. 

And so he does, you know, he helps John build a home and a new life, right, a new start. 

Imagine everything they’ve been through, all the things they’ve done, and then having the audacity. The courage to say, you know, no, I’m not gonna. I’m not gonna let my son be a part of this cycle. I’m gonna break this chain and give him the chance to know an honest hard day’s work without ever looking over his shoulder for the law or the people that he’s wronged. 

I think Charles would do everything in his power to help John realize that life because if he can help John do that it means that its possible for him as well. And I think he leaves Beecher’s Hope fully convinced that, like. They’ve done it. If John can walk this path, like. Jack will never know a life like Charles and John and Arthur knew. What a gift. 

Charles’ father may have failed him. But in John, Charles gets to see what a father could be. And in his own way he gets to be a, a part of that. 

So I think he, he leaves Beecher’s Hope and heads to Canada thinking, you know: ‘Maybe I can do it, too. I can go somewhere where no knows me, find my people, and tomorrow will be better.’

Which is probably why it just kills me that at some point he would hear about what happened to John. 

‘Cause, I think, for all that hope Charles has a really hard time with being happy and with being at peace. I think when things are good with the gang is when Charles is most nervous, because that other shoe is gonna drop, right? That's how his life has always gone. When things go well, disaster is right around the corner. And so I, I’m sure like, when literally like when the gang is celebrating I think Charles oftentimes isn’t there because he’s off walking the perimeter or scouting around. He’s literally looking for that storm that’s coming. It's just in his nature. 

Oh, it would break his heart to know that everything Arthur did, everything he did, everything John did to keep Jack out of it—it wasn’t enough. 

(/transcript end)

[fwckriley]

I've read lots of fanfics and headcanons about Ghost with partners who are usually kind, pure, like a angel, all flowers and butterflies and stuff etc. I get it, but no offense, and looking at it from another perspective, when you think about people who have experienced childhood trauma, they tend to repeat certain patterns. I'm not saying that every person with a traumatic past will have a toxic relationship.

But, you see: I personally believe that Ghost would never give a chance to someone he deems "perfect," innocent, pure, because that's completely opposite to how he sees himself. How could he be in a relationship with someone so different from him? How could he be understood by someone who doesn't have a certain darkness within? I'm not saying it wouldn't work, but I think a part of him would never fully reveal itself out of fear of being judged. On the other hand, I believe he would also seek out people who, in some way, are unattainable, to reaffirm that little voice inside him saying he doesn't deserve to be loved. Of course, none of this is really true, but that's how the mind of someone with many traumas tends to work.

I think he would avoid relationships and commitments for a long time, and wouldn't be able to choose someone outside of his field of work. "Normal" people could never understand the things he does, they could try, but never fully comprehend. In my opinion, he would fall in love, without realizing it, with someone from his field of work, probably a teammate with whom he shared many experiences. Someone with whom he has a deep connection. And, as I mentioned at the beginning, I believe he would unconsciously seek out more complex people. I see him attracted to people with a similar outlook on life, who are tougher and more realistic. Who share a darker sense of humor. Who have also experienced some kind of trauma in the past, so they can understand how he feels. I imagine him in a relationship with someone who has these characteristics, and unlike him, is ambiverted or extroverted. Someone who challenges him, calls him out when he's wrong, or is determined. Someone honest, but not rude. Someone funny, smart, creative. Someone with a thirst for adventure and a spark, to contrast with some parts of him.

But honestly, I can't picture him with someone he deems pure and perfect. He doesn't feel worthy or even attracted to that. He tends to surround himself with people who are similar to him because that's where he feels comfortable. Just to clarify, it doesn't necessarily mean that this partner in question would be a bad or toxic person, but simply someone similar to him. I believe Price is the best example of that, who is good but not innocent, not entirely right.

In the end, I think the relationship with the chosen person would be a challenging but functional one. Not toxic, not abusive or destructive, just difficult. Traumatized people are human and fully capable of relating to each other, but it takes patience and determination, and a lot of work. I think that over time, they would improve greatly. Because Ghost's biggest fear is one-sidedness. He needs to know that he is protecting and helping, but he also needs to feel protected and helped.

[thestrangestthlng]

Thoughts and prayers rants...

So, now that I've had almost 48 hours to marinate on this and cycled through my emotions, I am in a much better headspace to talk on the whole 9-1-1 of it all.

But this bears repeating: We fell in love with Tommy because he made Buck fall in love with Evan.

So, first and foremost, I've decided that canon stopped for me at 8x05. lol. I am going to continue with my BT train like that shit show didn't happen. And for me, for a while, I am going to let the show end there. I will go back, probably after the hiatus, but not how I was. I do love all the characters on this show (some more than others) and I still want to be able to see their journey, but I need a break from that manipulation stunt. I'm still going to share all the positive BT stuff I see and all the beautiful Lou content I see.

Secondly, now that I am over the initial hurt of the breakup, I'm just mad. We were manipulated intentionally with 8x05 for us to feel worse when the break up happened. That was unnecessary. And that was cruel. And I know that a lot of this is because it was the icing on a shit week. Emotions were already raw due to the election and it was reallllllyyyy bad timing for this, but that doesn't make the way they did it okay, just that it can explain why there was such a strong reaction for many of us, on top of the completely justified anger.

Breakups happen, and that's okay. If it was the end of Tommy's time on the show, that's okay. I am a Buck girlie and I always will be. But... the breakup was reductive, stereotypical, and just poor storytelling. I get they want to leave doors open a crack, because you never truly know, but turning him into an OOC stereotypical biphobic gay man is disgusting. You had this beautiful thing and you shat on it. I am going to do another post about my personal relationship with groundbreaking storylines next.

That was a miscommunication. That was a breakup where someone chases after you and is like wtf actually just happened. It felt like whiplash, because that is not how breakups are formulated in media. You know how else you could have written him out of the story?

At the date (and the basketball tickets are actually a really sweet touch when you think about it) Tommy could have told Buck that he got a job offer in another city or state or that his parents are ill and he has to go home to take care of them and asked Buck to go with him. At the apartment, it could have been buck telling him that as much as he could see a future with him, he can't go with him.

Would it have sucked? Yes. But it wouldn't have induced this amount of rage.

For over six months Lou and BTs have been at the receiving amount of a ton of vitriol. And that's not to say that there weren't antagonizers on this side of the fence or that BTs never did anything wrong, but this isn't a both sides bullshit piece. People can suck everywhere, but only one "side" harassed an actor and his family with death threats, he read about the "stoning" calls, used slurs on a regular basis. All of this persisted for months for it to turn out that he was the only one who seemed to give a shit about the story and it's representation. There honestly doesn't seem like there would have been anyone better for it.

You know what's ironic? It was the Buddie's hate and vitriol that pulled me into fandom and made me love Tommy and then Lou. When they would run their mouths, I would look into it and I found a man who genuinely seems like (he is still someone we don't know) a wonderfully kind, sweethearted, genuine man. He looks like a bundle of light and his smile can warm even the coldest hearts. So their vitriol made me a fan. So thanks BoBs.

Buck and Tommy wasn't just about Buck's queerness and definitely not about "wanting to see two white men kiss". It was about our love for Buck. We saw him happier and more fulfilled than he's ever been. We see his life being lived and full of love and stuff and joy.

Again:

We fell in love with Tommy because he made Buck fall in love with Evan.

And you know what, not matter how reductive and all the phobics that breakup was, they can never take that away from us.

[taki118]

Kirishima and Other Women

Among the criticism and complaints of Raise Wa Tanin Ga Ii aka Yakuza Fiance the most common is about how Kirishima "cheats" but what if I were to tell you this aspect of him actually serves an important point within the narrative? Because it does, in fact it serves a few.

First and foremost this is common in the Yakuza subculture. The series is a bit of a send off to Yakuza subculture and media with references that tend to go over your head unless you are into it (most go over mine). This is no different. While this isn't as narratively important it is important to know overall, the series embraces all things Yakuza the good and the bad (unlike some other Yakuza series but that not a rant for here) And like it's implied pretty much all the guys in the series to it to some degree yes even Shoma. I only have some knowledge of this myself so I won't get into it but I would recommend looking into cause it is interesting and makes sense for the series to incorporate on some level due to this and it would feel wrong to not mention it.

Now lets go onto to something more meaty and kinda spoilery, so don't read (though I don't think it will ruin your enjoyment)

So these other women actually help to better understand Kirishima and his relationship/feelings towards Yoshino. One detail the anime leaves out is who these women are and they are women. All college age or older, and all some kind of working professional who has skills or connections Kirishima does not have. Remember Kirishima is not technically Yakuza so he does not have access to resources that actual members of the group have but because he is involved with that world still he has to find a way to make up for what he resources he lacks. The safest resource he has found over the years is women.

Just like how Yoshino unintentionally raises the ire of women, Kirishima does the same to men both intentionally and unintentionally. He has difficulty connecting with people which is a topic in and of itself, but because of this he has learnt how to gain connections on a superficial level so he only does so with those he can feel some control over or feel safer. AKA Women. Kirishima knows he's attractive, and he knows how easy it is to charm people but those had an ongoing connection with are those who understand it's a game and want something back.

It's all quid prop quo, he does something for them and so they in turn do something for him. FYI I'm pretty sure what he's getting out of it isn't psychical pleasure, information, connections and a safe house for sure but actual enjoyment from sex? Not likely again the anime doesn't show it very well but many manga readers have noted how disconnected Kirishima looks during these moments. (Which I will fully get to later) It's an exchange when Yoshino calls him gigolo she's not wrong, and there is a greater discussion to be had here about how early Kirishima started doing this and all the messy stuff that comes with it but because we don't have enough information on how that started I won't get into it. (and its a little off topic)

Overall all though this shows the audience that Kirishima has a kind of warped view of sex and intimacy, he views it as a resource he can use much like his fighting ability, to him it's the same thing. At least at the start.

When Tsubaki tells Kirishima that he is actually very easy to understand when she has Yoshino there to compare, I believe this was a hint the author was giving us. To understand Kirishima and how he really feels about Yoshino who just need to look at how he is with other women.

It is INCREDIBLY telling that the closest thing Kirishima has to an ex-girlfriend is Nao, because notice how that term is never used within the story by the pair as to what their relationship was. Nao calls Ozu an ex but not Kirishima, he's just a guy she had a fling with (with a weird age gap) even though she seems to care more about him than Ozu (another deep dive I'll probably do). Kirishima also never uses the term, he does note that he did like her to some degree more than likely a little more than the other women he has similar situationships with but it was still at its core transactional. They both wanted what the other could offer more than them as a person. (also just fucking for weeks isn't a relationship) Kirishima always keep everyone at a distance, keeps everything close to the vest, makes sure the situation is advantageous to him so he can't get screwed over, every single one. Except Yoshino.

You see it constantly in the series as Kirishima WANTS to connect with Yoshino. He wants to better understand and connect with her in ways he has never bothered to before. In fact you can argue that Kirishima is actually more emotionally unintelligent than Yoshino as he has such difficulty in understanding what Yoshino wants from him. He's so use to being fake, to acting the way women around him want him to be that it throws him through a loop that Yoshino doesn't want that. She forces him to be a person not a persona.

Because of that, like Tsubaki says, he is desperate to understand and connect with her unlike with the women who he is connected to in a superficial way. I know it weirdly upsets some viewers that these women "Know" Kirishima in a way Yoshino hasn't but they don't actually know him Yoshino does. People often conflate love and sex as being the same thing but its not, sometimes it overlaps (and like that should be the standard but its not). This series sort of forces you to confront that assumption, because the real moments of love are in the smaller things.

It's Kirishima helping Yoshino with her garden, its him trying to get her focus on him, its him talking to her about mundane things, its him seeking out the things she wants, its him telling her his birthday, and yes it's him sleeping with other women to keep her safe. A LOT of people don't realize this but it is right there in the text he only reconnected with Nao because it would make the situation in Osaka more advantageous for him to keep Yoshino safe. There is a very good likelihood that if the situation would 100% not get Yoshino involved that Kirishima would have just stayed out of it. (which like damn sucks for you Nao) In actuality Kirishima likely would have preferred just a normal trip to Osaka with Yoshino (even though the chaos does help him confirm his own feelings again) Kirishima wants to desperately to be connected to Yoshino in anyway he can but you don't see that in how he is with other women, and it's in seeing that you can see his authenticity.

For further reference to something I noted earlier look at how Kirishima looks in these scenes with women both during and after sex.

There's little to no actual emotion or care, he operates almost robotically like you see when he fights someone he doesn't really give a shit about. It is something he's doing cause he has to not cause he wants to. Now compare these reactions to how he reacts when he finds out he accidentally/unconsciously felt Yoshino up

It's this flurry of emotions you can't even fully quantify like he can't even fathom he really did that. Kind of a strange reaction to give to someone who has done way more for way longer, but it makes perfect sense if you remember love and sex are different. With these other women he didn't care, sex didn't mean anything they could have been anyone and in all honesty if he could get away with not doing it he'd probably prefer it. But he loves Yoshino so he actually cares, he is actually turned on, he actually feels something.

THAT is the point of the side women. Kirishima is very hard to understand his character is a mystery for a majority of the series (and to a degree still is) these women help to solve that mystery if you take the time to really look at what's happening and not get parasocially angry that he is "betraying" his love for her. In his mind he's not because love and sex are different, sex to him until Yoshino is just a tool, its one of the many things that Yoshino changes in him over the course of the series. Lets not forget that one of his side women actually makes him realize the situation with Yoshino isn't all that great (the scene is better in the manga) cause he doesn't have the emotional intelligence to realize that himself and is a catalyst for the two actually growing closer. Like I keep having to cut myself short cause I'll just go off on how wonderfully complicated and uncomplicated Kirishima is as a character, but this is an important aspect to understand and shouldn't just be written off as "He's a red flag".

These women give us insight into how Kirishima is Pre-Yoshino and shows us how far he's come Post-Yoshino, in a way that could not be done otherwise. So maybe it makes you uncomfy for a bit but it's not bad writing it serves a purpose that could not be done otherwise.