#so many people are still caught up in the politics of 'good vs evil' and it really shows even in the most left leaning circles

[asthevermincrawls]

"War as a moral metaphor is limited, limiting, and dangerous. By reducing the choices of action to 'a war against' whatever-it-is, you divide the world into Me or Us (good) and Them or It (bad) and reduce the ethical complexity and moral richness of our life to Yes/No, On/Off. This is puerile, misleading, and degrading. In stories, it evades any solution but violence and offers the reader mere infantile reassurance. All too often the heroes of such fantasies behave exactly as the villains do, acting with mindless violence, but the hero is on the 'right' side and therefore will win. Right makes might. Or does might make right?"

– Ursula K LeGuin, from A Wizard Of Earthsea's afterward

[faelapis]

i know some of you guys will probably instinctively wince because you got caught up in gamergate during your youth and only reformed/grew out of it later... but i think many would really benefit from watching the feminist frequency tropes vs women series (yes, it's been review bombed to hell and back by anti-sjw types.)

i was a huge fan of it back in the day, watched all the videos - but unlike current discourse, which is (and i’ve also been guilty of this) hyperfocusing on the perceived flaws of a single intellectual property, it took the broader approach that we ought to be critical of just how common these tropes are.

it really helps you look at media with a bird’s eye view, if you’re new to that kind of analysis. seeing your fave there doesn’t mean they’re “bad,” it means that they’re a part of a broader pattern that maybe shouldn’t be so widespread. you can always make justifications for why a certain trope exists within the context of (your favorite media), but the point is the broader discussion, NOT individual examples.

this is part of why it’s so frustrating how many “response” videos will pause the video at a split frame showing an example to mock - trying to “disprove” problematic aspects by arguing about the very particular examples - rather than understanding it as a critique of the tropes themselves. like. guys. the point isn’t whether mario is problematic. the point is how integral damsel in distress narratives and heteronormativity are in video games right up to present day.

this, i think, is also useful when judging the "base intentions" or "base politics" of a piece of media. a huge part of what initially appealed to my feminist sensibilities about steven universe was how it avoided many of the problematic tropes that plague most animation even today.

outside of representation, it also intentionally challenged the notion of hierarchy itself, by making its "heroes" thoroughly flawed and dressing down the notion of the perfect leader. a lot of media will challenge authority, but then just install a "good" king to replace the "evil" one. SU future is super important here, as it challenges the notion of steven as the "good" diamond/leader to replace the "bad" ones. you can't just replace the leaders, you gotta dismantle that unfair hierarchy. good intentions can lead to bad outcomes when someone thinks of themselves as a hero or savior, and hence "above" others. hence, a degree of empathy for everyone in that system is key. you're not better than them, and they're not better than you.

that's also a big reason why the criticism it eventually got was so frustrating to me. there seemed to be little awareness in the fandom how it was still better and had more progressive sensibilities than 99% of the media out there. it was like they thought steven universe was the first cartoon since the 40s to ever have blind spots, rather than that being the norm.

so, yes, there is also individualistic appeal to understanding the commonality of tropes as they relate to underlying systemic issues. when (non-youtube 🙃) critics call something “progressive” or “refreshing,” it’s usually not because they have lower standards than you or can’t see the problematic nitpicks - it’s because they’re able to put it in the context of what most media is actually like. they haven’t hitched their wagon to hating or loving one piece of media. they can't; they have to look at A LOT of media.

i’m far from the first to say this, but this kind of systemic approach is also applicable to things like the bechdel test. the point was never that passing or not made an individual intellectual property “good” or “bad” - it was how. fucking. common. it was for media to center men and male perspectives. it was pointing out that most movies don’t have several female characters who are able to have dialogue about something other than men. yes, trash like showgirls passes. nobody thinks that makes it good.

~drama about individual pieces of media tends to get more clicks and views, and that is occasionally important! i’m not saying individual pieces of media or its fanbases can never be questioned or, inversely, defended (otherwise, how could i justify spending so much time defending steven universe from that big overblown hypocritical backlash?)... but it also makes me sad.

like. i’m 25. i’m not that old, but in fandom spaces i feel fucking ancient. i feel like i'm from a different time in terms of media consumption and analysis - one where me and my fellow lefties knew that all media was in some way problematic.

maybe it was just more "in your face" then, so it was easier to spot... but whatever the reason, i felt like a huge part of leftist analysis was the acknowledgment that everything, even the media you love, is a product of a broader, unfair system. just like people are shaped by that system, too - and that's "the enemy," not individuals or individual works of art (almost like SU had a point about that). the unfairness in society at large will be reflected in the products that culture creates and consumes. so intentions and caring does, actually, matter.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hey. I'm INFJ. I want to ask about relationship problems. The relationship in question is between my ESTJ mother and I. Generally, I would describe our relationship as close and loving, but there is a conflict, and that came from our opposite ideology and political beliefs.

I want to say before continuing that we are neither American or European, so our ideology and politics shouldn't be understood from the "western" side of things, though to simplify by comparison, my views could be described as leftist and my mother's as conservative. I should also add that I used to hold her worldview when I was younger, but changed once I was old enough to form an opinion of my own. This caused my mother to imply many times in our discussions that I am "brainwashed" and dismiss me as "too young" and "too ideological". I should add that the latter (ideological) is a valid criticism. Still working on that.

Otherwise, I often tried to persuade, then later find middle ground with her, to no avail. We ended up arguing many times, until we decided to not talk politics with each other anymore. So, what's the problem, you might ask.

Recently, the political climate in my country got intense. Heated, even. I won't go into details, but there are protests again the government by young liberals/leftists-equivalent of my country. Many of my good acquaintances joined the protest. The government used police force against them, and it got violent. There are young unarmed protestors who were teargassed, beaten, and shot with rubber bullets and high velocity water jets. Some protestors were heavily injured. Some protestors were arrested and incarcerated in horrible conditions. My mother and I agreed to not speak about politics, so I said nothing.

Until my mother, right infront of me, with another family member, openly mocked the protestors, made judgments about them based on the goverment's propaganda, called them a nuisance, and implied that they "deserved it". It's not about her discussing it, but it's about how unempathetic she was when she said those things, towards those young people my age, with similar ideology to me, and how apathetic she was when she said that "nothing's going to change anyway". It was the first time that I saw my mother in that angle, the complete lack of humanity in her words. It still haunts me until now.

So my question to you is, how does one deal with that? I love my mother, I think I always will. I also know that she loves me, or at least the part of me that's still her child. But for a moment, I loved her less, and that frightened me. I began to wonder, what would happen one day if we have to actually take sides, because things are getting worse in my country, not better. This adds to other issues I have in my life and made me more depressed. A part of me tells me that I should tell her about how I feel, but how do you tell someone you love that they're one of the reasons for your sadness?

I'm sorry if this is stupid. I'm sure that this feeling I have is one-sided, and I wonder if I'm being selfish or ungrateful. Maybe it's because I'm too sensitive these days, so I thought if I have an outside neutral opinion, it will help illuminate my clouded mind. Thank you. I hope you had a good summer break!

------------------------

The sentence that sticks out at me the most is: "It was the first time that I saw my mother in that angle, the complete lack of humanity in her words." I would argue that the problem doesn't lie with her. In fact, nothing about your mother had changed. She was still the same woman as before she uttered those words. The issue arises from your perception of her and the standards by which you evaluate her.

I follow world affairs very closely, so I think I know which region you are speaking of. One of the biggest problems in the manner that people think and talk about politics is the tendency to stereotype. Stereotyping is basically a form of cognitive oversimplification. It makes your thinking ability fast but also very dull and blunt, unable to understand situations with the nuance and sophistication that is required for good judgment and decision making.

It doesn't matter which country/culture you are from, there is always some variation of "right versus left". Why? Because in every society, there will always exist an underlying tension between those who don't want change and those who do. You may label these two opposing forces as right vs left, conservative vs liberal, regressive vs progressive, etc, but the fact of the matter is that these labels are gross oversimplifications of people's political belief systems.

When you divide people along an oversimplified dichotomy, it's too easy to stereotype them, in terms of believing that all people on each "side" hold all the same beliefs and values. Stereotyping goes along with the natural tendency of humans to be tribal. You start to view those on your side as being intellectually and morally superior to those on the other side. This leads to dehumanization and even demonization of the other side. In essence, you lose the ability to empathize with people, as long as you believe that they aren't on your side or the "right" side.

It seems that your political thinking has become too stark due to how extreme the situation has become. You have the feeling of fighting for your life because of the way that the situation has been handled by authorities, as they are indeed putting people's lives in danger. Your feelings about the situation are completely valid. But you fail to recognize that your mom's feelings about the situation are also valid. Certainly, there are hard-core fundamentalists and extremists out there that you can never reach because their beliefs and values are not based in any form of reason. However, I don't think your mom fits into that category, does she?

Do you know what it means to have no humanity? You are accusing her of something like psychopathy. Is that really true of her? I don't think so. She said: "nothing's going to change anyway". I don't consider this an expression of "apathy", as you assume. This is an expression of hopelessness. In that sentence, there is a real possibility that your mom is sympathetic at heart, but she disagrees that the chaotic actions of the protestors (i.e. the method) will lead to any meaningful change... and she may be absolutely right about that.

You haven't grasped the nuances of your mom's beliefs and values because your mindset has been so hardened by the extreme nature of the political conflict. This means that, when you engage in political discussion with her, you are unable to: 1) acknowledge how she feels, 2) acknowledge that there is some reason/merit/validity behind her beliefs, and 3) be open-minded enough to meet her halfway.

Put another way: If you met someone who wouldn't acknowledge your feelings as valid, dismissed all of your beliefs and values as completely wrong without proper investigation, and only sought to "convert" you, would you want to communicate with them? Probably not. This is the unproductive attitude that you now both bring to the table. This is the divisive attitude that arises when a conflict becomes too polarized and everyone is forced to "choose a side".

Unless one of you learns to listen and communicate more effectively, what will change? You say that you have tried to find middle ground with her but always end up arguing. Not finding middle ground is one thing, but getting caught up in interpersonal drama is a whole other thing. The option to amicably agree to disagree is always available. If you genuinely respect someone and respect their freedom to form their own beliefs, it shouldn't be hard to agree to disagree. Why do you find it so difficult to let her be her? Ultimately, you're not really interested in "middle ground"? You just want her agreement? Getting caught up in arguments all the time, especially on a recurring basis, indicates poor communication skills that stem from a troubling lack of objectivity. The more you argue with the intent to shame/change the other person, the more you push them away from your side, and the more myopic you get in your own beliefs.

You seem to have fallen into the trap of categorizing her into the tribe that you view as the enemy of your tribe, namely, the authorities that are cracking down on you young protestors. You've started to view her as the enemy, now you can't empathize with her, and even accuse her of having no humanity. You now consider yourself morally superior to her. If there is any possibility that she could be your ally, you've slammed the door on it.

You describe a very dire and desperate political situation that affects everyone, BUT, it doesn't affect everyone the same way. Different people have very different ways of dealing with intense emotions like fear, insecurity, grief, despair, helplessness, etc. Due to inferior Fi, ESTJs have extremely low tolerance for intense and uncontrollable emotions. Remember that one's ability to utilize the inferior function is not much better than a young child. If ESTJs can't neutralize or deflect their sense of powerlessness quickly, the burden of the emotions will quickly destroy them. I don't think you've really understood the thought process behind your mom's words and what is really motivating her "apathy".

Just because someone doesn't agree with your methods, doesn't mean that they don't have anything in common with you. Politics isn't just about good vs evil, as in, if you don't stand up for good, then you are evil. Everyone has their own way of looking at the situation because everyone has their own interests to take care of first and foremost, and everyone has their own ideas about the best methods to pursue. This is true for both you and your mom. It is possible to agree on beliefs but disagree on methods. For example, I'm assuming that you care about this cause so deeply because you care about your future. Sure, your ideas about the future differ from hers. But, certainly, you are both interested in securing your future, aren't you?

History has shown us that young people are always more willing to fight for causes because: 1) they would suffer less immediate material loss than the elder generation, 2) they have fewer life responsibilities, obligations, and commitments to take into consideration, and 3) their lack of life experience sometimes makes their thinking too simplistic when visualizing future implications.

Your interests aren't fully aligned with your mom's in this situation, perhaps because you are from different generations. However, this doesn't mean that your interests don't align in other important ways. At the end of the day, your mom is probably deathly afraid of seeing YOU on the news being beaten to a pulp and disappeared by the police, right? And it may be the case that she's passing harsh judgment on the protestors because she's trying to discourage you from meeting their horrible fate? That's hardly lack of humanity.

To be a good critical thinker, you need to learn to be more objective. Objectivity means understanding all aspects of the situation, or as many as you can manage. Objectivity and empathy often go hand-in-hand. You won't be able to empathize well unless you acknowledge that there might be some aspects of the situation that you're not seeing or understanding. When you take more time to get to the bottom of someone's thought process and why they really feel the way they do, you will discover all sorts of openings to influence their political beliefs in a friendly way. But when you can't even acknowledge that the other side might have an important point to be made, because you are so hardened in your stance, you've created a dead end for yourself.

[theundergroundlondon]

ROMAN BARANOVSKY (RU) VS. OLIVIER FONTAINE (FR)

Roman had been thrilled to find out that he was fighting another Frenchman. After last year’s victory, he had upped the training. It was good on the streets, but it also kept him in shape for the big event - to make sure that the French were put in their place. Stepping into the ring, he scanned his opponent: tall, blonde, cocky. Nothing that Roman had ever dealt with before.

And being placed in the middle, he knew he was going to have to make this a show. It would be embarrassing if people were too bored to watch. So he waited, he wasn’t going to shake the man’s hand, he wasn’t that polite, and waited for the bell

-

Olivier was fighting a battle of nerves that had managed to wind itself into his core, as his feet planted onto the slightly sprung floor, a bounce to his step as eyes of cerulean blue landed upon his opponent, Roman. Instantly he fell into his usual way of checking around the room, landing upon an array of eyes trained to the both of them, sucking in a haggard breath. When he felt like he had everything mapped in his mind, he tried to centre himself once more. He had something to prove, a title to uphold and many people to impress. Taking those few steps to the middle of the ring, eyes dead on the outside. ‘’Let the games begin, Roman.’’ he calls.

-

Roman’s eyes narrowed at the Frenchman’s words. He already wasn’t a talker, so he never would have responded even if this was a regular fight; but there was something about his opponent saying his name that just made Roman’s blood boil. He flipped the man off as the fight started, turning the hand into a fist as he threw a punch aiming at the man’s throat.

-

Olivier managed to scramble back on his feet, dancing now as he hopped from one foot to the other, a beckoning smile taunting as he cocked his head to the side. ‘’That’s all we’ve got?’’ Olivier let himself freely move around the ring; Roman was unpredictable, which was what made this harder than a usual fight that Olivier may have found himself involved in. Trying to watch his body movements to see if there are weak spots; he lunges forward himself, trying to get a hook in, hoping to keep the show alive just a little longer. Anticipation was key.

-

Roman rolled his eyes at the French man - honestly wishing that he would shut up. His words in that horrendous accent just took away from the beauty of the fight - the art form that Roman had worked hard to become an expert in. Though one of the better things about Olivier being bigger is that it took that much more effort to move. Half a second more to throw a punch, take a step, everything because he had so much more body mass than Roman. He dodged the hook, and threw another punch, aiming for the man’s jaw. With a hit, it would at least get things going, and with luck, it would shut his opponent up.

-

How could he have missed that, a drop of his right arm and the connection to his jaw was almost instantaneously painful as a sound of air flew from his mouth, he stumbled back just slightly as the spinning room slowly came back into focus and for the first time the nerves were gone from Olivier as the anger ignited deep within the pit of his stomach? This was now pure rage, but amidst that, the pain was there creeping across the side of his face. ‘’Fuck you.’’ He spat spots of blood landing upon the floor. He beckons him with his hand, now purposefully taunting and luring. It took only a few moments as he watched the steps of his feet before he took a lunge, making his first connection with Roman.

-

He was angry - which was what Roman had wanted. People were more prone to mistakes when they were angry, when they let emotions run their fight. it was a great way to see a person’s weaknesses. They tended to be more prominent when they were acting on emotion. Was it the same for everyone? No. But Roman had fought enough people to see the trend. Roman smirked at the blood on the floor, he always as a fan of making his opponent bleed first. 

The lunge caught Roman off guard - he didn’t expect a man of that size to move that fast, but it was a learning experience. Enough of one that he could see what Olivier did and adapt, not to leave that kind of opening again. He felt his nose crack, and the blood seep down, and while he knew that Vika would be annoyed that his nose was inevitably broken. He moved back, walking around the ring for a moment, looking for a weak spot, before quickly turning on his foot, going to try and kick in the man’s knee. 

-

The sound of a crack and the sight of gushing blood gave him the dose of confidence he’d been sourly lacking throughout the day, as he hopped from one foot to the other. In his time training they’d always told him to be light on his feet, for a man of his statue he needed to be able to move around in order to get his attacks in from different positions and angles. Seeing that he’d finally managed to land one on Roman, the crowd was a battle crowd — screams for both their names could be heard from each side. He was sure Evelyne was watching somewhere; he didn’t have time to look.

But his moment was fleeting as he felt the world slip from beneath him as he hit the deck with an almighty crack. His knee was most likely out of place, as cerulean eyes looked for a second and tears welled in his eyes — the pain was almost unbearable as he let out what could only be described as a feral animal growling in the face of danger. He would not cry. Instead he let his mind go his job, there is always a way out, he thought. He saw it straight away like it’d been staring him in the face, Roman’s leg. Reaching out he took no time to grab both his hands around Roman’s ankle as he yanked it from beneath him, the thud satisfying. 

‘’If I go down, you come with me mother fucker.’’

-

How the fuck does this asshole keep talking? 

Roman thought to himself, pain radiating through his body as he hit the hard floor. It took a second to recalibrate and work through is body. He didn’t think there were any major injuries, though he was sure to be bruised not that long after the fight. But Roman didn’t care about that. Glancing at his opponent, he noticed the tell-tale signs that Olivier’s knee was dislocated. The man wasn’t getting back up. 

It was Roman’s time to shine. 

Rolling over, he straddled the man’s chest, and began punching. With the height difference gone, and Roman with the advantage, his aim was the man’s face. It would only be a few more punches before the man was unconscious - and Roman would no longer have to hear his annoying banter anymore. 

-

It only took a few seconds before the weight was on top of him, each hit sending a searing shot through his head, sure enough the damage would be lasting. His knee added to the pain that was mounting up as each second passed, he was grasping for anything he could get his hands on; Roman was prepared and way too powerful. Olivier knew there was no way he was going to be able to get back up on his feet at this point, trapped beneath him and struggling to move. THINK. His mind was screaming as another hit pushed his thought process to halt for just a second, he managed to open an eye that was already beginning to close up. The eyes. 

His eyes. 

It was like a new lease of life had been poured into Olivier, a new found strength as he reached up with both hands quickly, thumbs heading towards Roman’s face, just one kick move and his thumb had jabbed into the left eye, and the right just a few seconds after. He screamed in anger, pain and emotion as he used every ounce of strength he had left to push inwards. ‘’I hope to god I fucking blind you, you absolute russkaya pizda.’’ Using the Russian language to hurl his insult to the other male.

-

Roman had assumed that the fight was over. It was cocky, but normally people in Olivier’s position didn’t keep fighting. So when the man’s thumbs were in Roman’s eyes, it took him by surprise. The pain rushed through his eyes, through his brain, and when he pulled away it didn’t disappear. HIs eyes watered and his vision went blurry. And that was the point that Roman knew he had to finish it. 

Even with blurry vision, the man’s face hadn’t moved. And Roman’s punches were coming faster, with more intensity. It took a second for him to realize that Olivier was unconscious - that he had most definitely won. Roman got up, but there was something that still stayed with him. The talking, the bastardization of his mother tongue, just the general arrogance of the French. And with an evil, monstrous grin, he stomped as hard as he could on the man’s throat. Hard enough that if there wasn’t damage to his larynx Roman would be legitimately surprised. 

Maybe that would finally shut him the fuck up. it was at least worth the shot as he left the man on the floor of the ring. 

[sullustangin]

Trope Stuff I Don’t Like

This post is like “chocolate vs vanilla vs Gotcha, I hate ice cream” :  it doesn’t matter.

Enemies to Lovers

Let’s be clear; it’s one thing where it’s two people caught on the opposite sides of a war that happen to fall in love.  They’re not personally enemies; it’s politics and an accident of fate. I’m fine with that. Rivals on different teams -- it’s sportball, we can get over wearing different jerseys.  Enemies to lovers can work when it isn’t too personal and the matters of difference are not high stakes or completely insurmountable.   

However, if it’s “enemies to lovers” where Person A was abused, raped, mutilated, tormented, persecuted, prosecuted, or relentlessly pursued by by Person B, and Person B does not does not suffer consequences for those actions or does not have experiences that cardinally change their views or character, that’s not love on Person A’s part -- that’s Stockholm Syndrome.  It’s particularly galling when Person A just magically forgives them or finds some rational as to why they deserved Person B’s actions; that’s a battered partner’s story, not a love story.  Nor is it ok when Person B rapes/tortures/harms/traumatizes Person A, which causes Person C to be the comfort for Person A and then it’s happily ever after for A and C.  All of that turns me off.  Any redemption arc has to be well-considered and well-written.  Any healing arc has to be equally well-considered and well-written.  Both of them are very, very challenging. 

Smart Characters Turn Dumb if They Aren’t Lawful/Obvious

I see this particularly in neutral/chaotic characters.  Lawful characters are pretty easy to write -- they have a set code of conduct that complies with the society they belong to.  They are orderly, and any mistakes they make are due to their own internal systems and their stringent adherence to that.  That makes sense -- there’s a sequence of decision making that is easy to see, because it fits with the general world view, whether they are good, neutral, or evil.

Neutral/chaotic characters can be more impulsive, and it’s really easy to fall into the trap of just making them do stuff for the laugh or comedy relief.  However, most characters do have internal systems of priorities they go by; they’re not just as straight-forward  or instantly accessible as a lawful character’s.  Neutrals abide by the laws most of the time, but their personal views do matter as well.  Chaotics don’t care about what a society says is right; they do the right thing because they personally feel it.  It’s more work to write those internal systems or the thought process, because they are so individualistic.  In the hands of a fan, a chaotic character can be reduced to an inept, impulsive dumbass, and a neutral character becomes wishy-washy.  That strips them of intellect and many skills they canonically have, often in order to raise up a favored canon character or an OC.  I like chaotic characters, and neutrals fascinate me, so seeing that reduction bugs me.

People Age But They Never Mature; alternatively, Children Are Just Very Short Adults

I acknowledge that not every adult acts like an adult all the time; they can be as petty and selfish as young children that are still learning about sharing and not calling people names.  However, younger authors sometimes write a character in their 30s or 40s in the exact same fashion as they  write their teenage child or their younger counterpart (if there’s a de-aging or time leap involved).  It doesn’t work, unless it’s purposefully dysfunctional person/dynamic. 

The inverse is also true; older authors miss the mark when their youth is so far away (or they’ve chosen to forget or reframe so much in rose-tinted glass) that they can’t be sympathetic, and everyone under the age of 25 is a brat.  Alternatively, everyone acts like a mature adult, even the 5-year-old, who now has a very advanced agenda and endgoal for his personal character arc. 

Real life 5-year-olds still eat crayons and go to the ER for sticking stuff up their nose. Real life 5-year-olds can also give court-accepted testimony about how their father threw their mother through a wall. Characters need nuance, and they also have to grow.

If you’re writing a longer series or different snapshots throughout the character’s life, there should be some salient, persistent characteristics about them that don’t change (unless they have a tragic/catastrophic event occur that changes those cardinal features).  They’re not as cynical or tired when they’re young.  They don’t know everything, and they don’t know they don’t know everything when they’re young. At the same time, time wears on a person, and experiences informs them; they do change, for better or for worse. Time can soften, and time can harden.

Age and the Sex Thing (something less serious than the others)

Tagging on from “People age but they never mature,” I see some problematic physiology in stories written by younger authors that have not had .. erm.. intimate or extensive contact with older adults. Folks, the early 20s body is much more resilient and quicker to recover than the 25+, 30+, or 40+ body. 

Whenever I read a story wherein the male lead in his late 20s or even older is constantly having a hard-on because of their romantic interest -- the narration mentions the event regularly when these characters interact, even if it’s an a VERY public space and the exchange is not sexual in nature-- I can guess that the reader is not yet that age. The same goes for when a female character is just ready to go like magic in any place, any position, no foreplay.  Can it happen like that for adults outside of their early 20s?  Yes, but it’s not a consistent or dependable event. The human body changes as it ages; more effort is required to get up the mountain as.  Even for people in their early 20s, sex just doesn’t magically happen, nor is it perfect for both partners by default. 

(Caveat:  PWP and smut fics can toss this out the window, especially when it’s just about getting two characters into bed -- people like fantasy sex where there aren’t complications or problems or consequences. Go for it, have fun. But if you’re writing a more serious fic or a slowburn that happens to have sex in it, please don’t make me think “yet another wild boner appears” every chapter. )

[joyofcrime-elinorhigh]

 Hello everybody, my name is JoyofCrimeArt, and legacy can be an fascinating thing in regard to animation. Since cartoons are made with the intent of being seen years or even decades after they're created, it can be interesting to see how the general consensus people have about a series can change over time. One day you can be on top of the world, and your series is loved by critics and audiences alike. But then, something happens. Sometimes it's a specific episode. Other times a season. Maybe it's a controversy within the fandom. But whatever it is, something happens that causes peoples opinions to turn. And suddenly your show has gone from being universally praised to becoming much more divisive. And when something like that happens, it can be hard to recover. It happened to Steven Universe.  It happened to Rick and Morty. And it happened to Star vs. the Forces of Evil.

 Created by Daron Nefcy,  Star vs. The Forces of Evil  premiered on the Disney Channel and Disney XD in 2015,  and quickly became one of the hot cartoons that everybody was talking about. It makes sense, as it came outright around the time where more continuity based fantasy series were really starting to take off, so it's natural that it became a hit. While the series was generally well regarded upon its debut, as time went on the series became much more of a "love it or hate it" type of show. And while that's not too uncommon for any show that amounts a large flowing, what makes Star vs. so interesting is that it seems like nobody can seemingly agree when the show got bad, if it did at all. Some people say the quality dipped after the first season. Others say the third. Some say the fourth. Others say that the show was good until the finale. And some say that the show was solid throughout. This divide among fans is why I feel confident calling Star vs. The Forces of Evil one of the most divisive shows of the 2010's, even if the debate around it isn't nearly volatile as other series. But now that the series has ran its course I have to ask, does it hold up? Did the show really go down hill, or is the hate undeserved? That's what I'm here to find out.

 I feel like I'm in an interesting place to talk about this series because, while I tend to try to keep up with all the big name animated show coming out, I actually didn't watch most of Star as it was running. I watched the first season until my family cut cable right before the finale of season one (You know, around the time people started to care about the show.) And only caught up with the show in the last year or so while doing research for my "Top 30 Cartoons of the Decade" list. So I went into the series mostly blind with the exception of a few spoilers. I just felt like this was important to point out as I feel it may have an effect on my view of the show.

 Also, while I usually try to go spoiler free when I do a general overview of a series, for this review I may have to go into some spoiler territory. Since this series features an ever changing status quo, as well as a lot of major characters who aren't introduced until late in the series' run, doing this review completely spoiler free would be difficult. So I'm going to be doing this review under the assumption that anybody reading this has already seen the show, and are just curious to hear my take on it, or don't care about being spoiled.  So if you wanna go in blind I suggest you sign out now.

 But to everyone else, let's dive in and talk about Star vs. the Forces of Evil.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hJ5ecrpp8k

 Star vs. The Forces of Evil stars (He, get it. I'm funny.) Star Butterfly. A princess from the dimension of Mewni who, upon her fourteenth birthday is given a wand of unbelievable magical power. However, after causing nothing but trouble with her new found powers in her world her parents decide to ship her off to Earth, where she can be somebody else's problem. There she befriends a human boy named Marco Diaz and the series mainly follow these two as they go on all sorts of magical adventures as they battle all sorts of evil monsters and ne'er-do-well who want to take the wand and use its power for themselves. Or at least that's how the series goes at first. As the series goes on it begins to focus more on the world building, as Star and Marco discover that the kingdom of Mewni isn't as great as they first believed, and are forced to battle political corruption, conspiracy within the royal family, and the generation spanning systemic racism against monster kind.  

 The best place to start when talking about the show are the characters. Lets start with the main leads.

 We got Star, your typical fun-loving, ditzy, hyperactive action girl. Which seems to be a common trend in Disney Channel cartoons now that I think about it. But she does enough to stand on her own. She's a fun character, and an overall good lead for the series. I admit that her bratty nature and general stupidity could turn some people off, and there are times  where it can get a little annoying, but I never minded it all that much. I think that's kinda suppose to be the point of her character. She's a royal, and spent her whole life with a silver spoon in her mouth. So it makes sense she would be a bit selfish and be unaware of the world around her. And she does improve over the course of the series, as she begins to take her job as a princess more seriously and spends much of the series actively fighting against monster prejudice. Though I'd be lying if some of these less desirable elements of her character don't continue to pop up every now and again, even later in the series and especially in the last couple of episodes. Also she's kinda a sociopath. Like especially early on in the show there are like...a lot of casualties to Star's antics. I'm kinda surprised Disney let them get away with that.

 Also, can I just say that I am sick and tired of people asking "When is Disney going to include their first LGBTQ+ princess, completely ignoring the fact that Star is bisexual as fu*k. Like, come on now!

 Marco is also a good lead. He's a neurotic, responsible, karate student who often acts as the straight man to Star's antics. However, I like the fact that he's not a total stick in the mud. Sure he's more cautious than Star is but he's still capable of getting in on the adventures as well. He comes across as a realistic teen with his own set of flaws. Namely his insecure nature and general social awkwardness. I also like that due to his expertise with karate he's able to hold his own in a fight even without magic. He always feels like Star's equal and never like a sidekick. He and Star have a great dynamic in general, and the two play off each other well. They contrast with each other and It feels like the two really cover each other's flaws. And it's kinda refreshing seeing two characters who are so different manage to genuinely get along with each other.  

 But of course, we also have the forces of evil that the shows title so clearly mentioned. Each season focuses on a different villain, and something that I really like is how all four major villains are introduced relatively early on. So the show doesn't suffer from that "Dragon Ball Z" type thing where it's like "Haha! I know you just defeated the villain, but now's there's an even BIGGER villain who we just haven't happened to mention until now!" They've always around in the world, and many of them even start out as joke villains only to become more serious later down the line. And they manage to do that in a way that feels very believable.

 The best example of this is the shows first villain, Ludo. Who upon introduction is portrayed as a completely comedic villain who Star could easily take in a fight. But things change when a new more serious villain, Toffee, usurps him as the season one antagonist. Stealing his castle and army in the process. Come season two and Ludo is left alone, having lost everything, and is forced to toughen up in order to get back what he once had. He builds a new army, stronger than his first. He finds a new castle to form his base in, and becomes a genuine threat to our cast. Scrappy underdogs villains who lost everything might be one of my favorite tropes in fiction. Other examples of this trope used effectively would be Peridot in Steven Universe and Jamack in Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeast. However, while those shows use this trope as an opportunity to have these villains go through a redemption arc, Star goes the other way and uses it as an opportunity to make a character become more of a threat. That said, he never loses the comedic charm that made his fun to watch in the first place. Part of me honestly kinda wish that Ludo stayed the main villain of season two, instead of being usurped Toffee yet again. That said, the episode "Princess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic Bell" does a good job giving his arc a satisfying conclusion.

 Speaking of antagonist, let's talk about Tom Lucitor. Star's demon ex-boyfriend. While not a season spanning villain like Ludo or Toffee, he has several appearances early on as a recurring antagonist only to go down the more traditional "redemption arc" route later on. And I just want to say upfront, Tom is one of my favorite characters. Not in the show, but in fiction in general. It would of been so easy to make Tom your generic "toxic boyfriend" arch-type but even early on it's made clear that even though he's an antagonist, he isn't pure evil. His love for Star is genuine, but the problem is that he hasn't earned it. He tries to improve himself and become a better person but his own anger issues and jealousy keeps getting in the way. Specifically jealousy of Marco because he seems him as a romantic threat. But as time goes on, he does become better. He learns that he and Marco have a lot in common and eventually accepts that he can't make Star love him, and lets her have her space. And that, ironically, causes Star to becoming willing to open up to him again. They become friends and eventually get back together. But what I like is that while he has gone through efforts to improve and work through his problems, they still persist throughout the series. He's still very insecure and is looking for constant approval from Star. He still is jealous of how close Star and Marco are even though he has become friends with both of them. And it's shown several time that Tom tends to put his own problems above the problems of others. It shows that even though he wants to change and is willing to change, that doesn't mean that change come easy. It takes time and can be a long process. These are realistic character flaws that make Tom such a more complex and relatable character in my eyes. I relate a lot to Tom with his desire and constant struggle to improve as a person, and I feel like it's a struggle that's easy for a lot of people to relate to. Also...he's just such an edgy dork. He's...he is good boi.

 Another fantastic character is Eclipsa. Introduced about halfway into the series, Eclipsa was a former Queen of Mewni who was imprisoned in crystal due to dabbling in dark magic and for running away from her arranged marriage and marring the King of the Monster, Globgor. The show builds up mentions of Eclipsa early on, with characters talking about how evil and dangerous she was. Eventually she becomes free from her prison (cause lets be real, whenever there's a villain sealed away somewhere you KNOW they're going to get out.) But surprisingly, when we see her she actually doesn't seem that evil. She's polite, kind, and is even willing to go through the proper legal channels to prove that she isn't as bad as people say she is. She is an excellent example of a morally ambiguous character cause for the first several episodes we the audience don't really know if she is actually a good person who's just been judged too harshly by society or if she is actually evil and this is all an act. As even as the show goes on and it becomes clear that Eclipsa is a good person at heart they still manage to keep the audience guessing. Much like Star, Eclipsa can be kinda selfish and impulsive, making her a bit of a loose cannon.  Despite the shows title "Star vs. The Forces of Evil" Eclipsa goes to emulate one of the shows major themes. That life isn't that black and white.

 The show deals a lot with shades of gray when it comes to its characters, as all characters have there own motives and backstories and relations with each other that can make them either allies or enemies depending on the circumstances. An example of this is the Magical High Commission, a group that monitors magic across all the dimensions. throughout the series it is shown that they stand on the side of Mewni. So in season two when Mewni is being conquered by  Ludo and Toffee they're good guys. But just like most most people in Mewni they hate monsters and believe that Eclipsa is evil. Making them antagonist in seasons three and four. Their motives stay the same, but their role in the series changes.

 However despite my praise not all the characters are  great. In fact the show can be kinda hit or miss with their cast. The characters that are great are really great, but then you get characters like...

(Art by JelloApocolypse)

 You know what, I have to be honest. I kinda like Pony Head. I know a lot of people say she's annoying and selfish and contributes next to nothing to the plot...and they're right. But I also just kinda like her. I think what makes her more bearable to me is that she's kinda disliked in-universe. Even Star, who is Pony Head's best friend, often times get sick of her crap. Real talk though, can we all agree that Pony Head is basically just a discount Lumpy Space Princess from Adventure Time?  Like, they're nearly the exact same character.  

 A character who I don't like as much though is Glossaryck, the magical spirit guide that lives in Star's spell book. I never really got his deal. Sometimes it seems like he likes Star and genuinely wants to help her become a better magic user, while other times it doesn't seem like he really cares. He dies in the beginning of season three only to come back a few episodes later acting like a wild animal and yelling "Globgor" over and over again without any explanation as to how or why. Than at the end of season three it's revealed that it was all an act and he was fine the whole time. Like...why? We later learn that is a highly recognized historical figure in Mewni. Why is he yelling his name? And why does nobody question why he's doing this? I can buy that Star and Marco might not know who Globgor is but most everybody else seems to. I keep expecting that moment for his motivations to click. Where it's revealed how everything he's done was all an elaborate ploy to help Star or something, but it never really happens. Though my opinion of him does slightly increase in season four, but that's just because Keith David took over the role of voice actor. And adding Keith David can make anything better.

 Some characters can even change in quality between seasons. Janna is this edgy punk girl who joins the main cast in season two as a new friend to Star and Marco. I liked her well enough in season two even if some of her more abrasive elements could be somewhat obnoxious. She's more or less absent for most of season three. Then come season four she returns and I found her more annoying. I don't know if her character got worse or if it was just the fact that her character didn't work as well in later episodes after the show had become more dramatic. But near the end of the season, they give her some long overdue character growth. Not a lot, but some. And I found myself liking her more.  

 There are other characters in the series as well, and they tend to vary. Star's mom, Moon is a BAMF and I like Buff Frog a lot. Jacki and Kelly are fine characters, though I admit there's not that much to them outside of being love interests for Marco, though they still have there own personalities. King River's kinda annoying but I've seen worse examples of the "dumb dad" trope and Alan Tudyk gives a great performance.

 And since I don't have time to go over my thoughts on EVER character in this series, I'll do what ever online review does when they don't have time for nuance. Create a tier list!

 If It's not apparent by now, the characters in this show run the gambit. With the best ones being some of my favorite characters of all time, and the worse one's just being generally annoying. However, if there's one thing that this show excels at is not painting things as black and white. No character is evil without a reason and all the heroic characters have un-heroic flaws to their characters with unique motivations that make sense for their characters. (For the most part anyway.)

 The shows animation is also really good. Featuring thick outlines and a lot of nice coloring on the characters. (Even if some of the background colors can be a bit drab at times.) Most of the first season is done in flash, but it's good flash, which does well to accentuate the character expressions and the fluid action scenes. Part way through season one though the show's animation changes to more traditional animation. I think there is a bit of a divide on which style people consider to be better, but I personally prefer the look of the later seasons. The bouncy look of the early season one episodes look good, but I don't know how well that would of worked in the more dramatic and somber moments that happen later on.

 I also appreciate the world building. The first two seasons are set mostly on Earth in the town of Echo Creek, but the last two seasons changes things up and focus much more on Mewni, allowing us to explore both settings. I know some people don't like the change as it resulted in several of the characters introduced earlier being written out of the show but I never really minded that. I think Mewni and the cast of characters who inhabit it are on the whole more interesting than the people of Echo Creek. (I mean does anybody really miss Sensei Brantley?) Plus the change in setting allows us to get a bit of a role reversal with Marco being the fish out of water, and Star having to show him how her world operates. And even if you do prefer the Earth setting we still cut back to it on occasion. And when you add it all up the total series runtime between the two setting is fairly evenly.

 I like how characters can kinda come and go in this series, as it shows that the world doesn't revolve around Star and Marco. And it allows the writers to see which characters people gravitate to and focus on them while keeping less interesting characters out of the way. It also allows for character arcs to actually have conclusions, without the need for them to be drawn out just for the sake of keeping characters around longer.

 Let's talk about themes for a moment. Specifically the main theme of prejudice and  systemic racism in the show. It's handled...okay. It's kinda standard stuff and it doesn't go super complex on the issue, but for what it is it works though. That being said the show can be a bit confusing in terms of what counts as "monsters" and what are just regular races in this world. Which can make the metaphor a little muddled. I get that the idea is that there is no difference, and that monsters are only deemed as bad as an excuse for mewmans to justify their mistreatment of them, but it can still be confusing as to who's oppressed and who isn't and to what extent. I feel it would be even more confusing for a younger children watching who might not understand all the nuances of this stuff. However, the way the show tackles this isn't bad either. And the fact that the show tackles this element at all is admirable.

 But who cares about systemic racism! That's not the real reason people are watching this show! We all know that everybody is really here for the shipping!

 Yeah, as the series went on the shipping seems to become a much more major element within the series. So much so that to many the increased focus on the shipping is often cited as one of the main elements that caused the show to go down hill. However I never really minded it. I mean Star vs. has always been a bit of a love letter to the shojo/magical girl genre and romance is a very important element to those types of shows. So it makes sense that it would be used here. And I think it's used pretty well here overall. These are just kids struggling through these types of feelings for the first time, So it makes a lot of the stupid decisions that they make feel a lot more believable. But if this kind of thing isn't your cup of tea, it might end up bothering you. Because they do devote a good amount of time on it.

 But you're probably wondering, who do I ship? Am I team Starco or team TomStar? And honestly, while shipping has never been something I've ever gotten too invested in, if I had to pick I would probably have to say team Starco. Which may be surprising as I previously went on and on about how Tom was one of my favorite characters of all time. But this is the way I see it. Tom's whole arc is about learning how to get over his jealousy and controlling nature regarding his relationship with Star. And it's shown that even after he's dating Star, and has everything he thought he wanted, he still couldn't fully get over his hangups. Even though he loves Star and Star loves him, it's clear that the relationship still isn't exactly the most healthy. And it's clear that they are going in different directions in their lives. Tom knows what he wants. To be with Star. But Star doesn't know what she wants. Not all relationships have to end because one person does something wrong or because one of the parties involved is a bad person. Sometimes two people just aren't compatible in that kind of way. And seeing Tom be the one to break up with Star shows just how far he's come as a character. Plus, like I said earlier, Star and Marco have great chemistry. And I do genuinely see them working as a romantic couple, beyond the fact that there the two main leads.

 Besides, StarTom is technically incest so....

 *record scratch!*

 Oh wait, you didn't know about that.? Yeah, according to the official "Star vs. the Forces of Evil Magic Book of Spells" Star's Great Great Great Grandmother Rhina Butterfly was in a relationship with John Roachley, a second cousin to the Lucitor's. Now granted that would mean that Star and Tom aren't THAT related. But still. Incest none the less. Not that it even matters anyway since all of the Mewmans are descended from like five random people!  

Seriously, this is some Ishigami Village levels of incest we got going on here.

 But despite how heated the flames wars can be, I think we can all agree that Tomco is the best ship anyway. Like come on now.

 So yeah, even the shipping elements didn't bother me. To be completely honest, while the show did have some problems here or there, I found myself enjoying the show well into the fourth season. But I knew it was coming. Since I was watching the show months after the series had concluded, I had heard things about the finale. A finale that figuratively "cleaved" the fan base. But in order to talk about the finale we have to go a few episodes back and talk about the episodes leading up to it. Obviously spoilers ahead.

 To briefly recap, at this point in the series Eclipsa had become Queen of Mewni along with her husband Globgor after Star relinquished the crown to her. And many of the Mewmans are upset by Eclipsa's new "pro-monster" policies had left to live with the former Queen Moon. Meanwhile Mina Loveberry, a legendary monster fighter from generations far gone, had begun building up an army to invade Eclipsa's castle and take Mewni back from the monsters. A lot of people I hear don't like Mina as a final villain, but honestly I was surprised by how threatening they were able to make her despite how goofy she is. And her backstory about basically being a magically altered super solider driven to the point of insanity really helped to make her sympathetic. (Like I said, in this show everyone is painted with shades of gray. Even genocidal lunatics.) She invades with a Solarian Knight, a giant magic powered mech and it takes all of our heroes working together to barely defeat it. Until it is revealed that it was only one of many. It's an amazing twist that really leaves you wondering "How are or heroes going to get out of this one." Up to this point I was digging this final arc. But that's when I finally got to it.

 To me, the moment where Star vs. the Forces of Evil got bad was the moment it was revealed that Moon was working with Mina to reclaim the thrown from Eclipsa.

 It just doesn't fit Moons's character to do this. While it is shown throughout the season that Moon does not agree with Eclipsa more extreme policies, It was still shown that while Moon may be against Star's decision to give the crown to Eclipsa, she acknowledges that since Star was queen at the time and was within her right as queen to decide what was best for the kingdom. And in previous episodes she seemed generally happy not having the responsibility that comes with being queen anymore. But now she suddenly wants her kingdom back? If she wanted it back, all she had to do was say so from the start. At the start of the season most Mewmans still hate Eclipsa. It would not be that hard to stage a coup if she really wanted, especially since the magic high commission and all of Mewni would be on her side. Why would she work with Mina, who Moon knows is insane and racist even by Moons standard? Sure Moon and Eclipsa definitely don't see eye to eye on a lot of things but Moon still wouldn't want her dead, and Moon knows that Mina wants to kill her. I know she thought she could control Mina's army but that's still a big risk. It seems uncharacteristically reckless for a character as intelligent as Moon to make these choices.

 So then, after it turns out that Moon can't control Mina's army, our heroes are basically screwed and are forced to hide out in a special tavern located at the edge of the universe to wait things out while Mina begins rounding up all the monsters in Mewni. They are all trying to figure out a plan on how to possibly defeat Mina's army when Star suddenly goes on a rant about how magic is bad. And this idea had been brought up a few times in the series, but overall had never really been portrayed as a major aspect. But suddenly the show treats this as if it's all the magics fault, and that everything would be better if it was gone. And that's when Star comes up with the genius plan to use go to the magic dimension to destroy all the magic. Thus making Mina's forces useless. And while I admit that yes, they are very much been pushed to a wall here, this has to be one of the most overkill ideas they could of possibly think of!

 Now, I've seen a lot of people online saying that by doing this, Star would be committing mass murder on a multiverse scale, potentially destroying many universes. And I think that is a bit of a reach. From what we see in the series, it seems to me at least that magic is kinda a rare thing in the universe. That's why so many villains are trying to steal the magic wand away from Star. And I see very little implying that there are whole universes that are reliant on magic outside of Mewni. THAT SAID THOUGH, this would result in the deaths of a lot of innocent people. But Star really only seems concerned with the fact that once magic is destroyed, all people who come from parallel universes will return to their home universe, meaning she won't be able to stay with Marco. Which makes Star seem beyond selfish and generally pretty horrible.

 Hekapoo, one of the high commission members, despite being made of magic and knowing that she will die from this, is totally on board for this plan because plot. And our heroes travel to the magic dimension to destroy all the magic. Which they do. Defeating Mina's forces and leaving her powerless. She still manages to escape however because nobody decides to actually, you know, try to arrest the person who just committed a political coup and nearly whipped out an entire race. They just let her walk off, because she's powerless now. I mean what's the worse she could possibly do, right?

 So yeah, Mina is defeated, but everybody is sent back to their home dimensions. But somehow, through the power of love I guess, the universes of Earth and Mewni begin to merge. Thus allowing Star and Marco to be together. Happy ending, I guess? I don't know.  Like Star and Marco being together is treated as a good thing. But we also see humans screaming as there world have now been overrun by monsters. Is this suppose to be a joke? A bittersweet ending? I'm not really sure.

 In concept the idea of a universe merge is actually a pretty interesting idea. As it feels like a natural progression of the shows themes of racial tolerance and mutual understanding. Now that we've gotten semi-tolerance between monsters and mewmans we could now have an arc about trying to bridge the cultural gaps between the humans and the mewmans. Plus it would be a good way to appease both the people who enjoyed the earlier seasons focus on Echo Creek, and fans of the later seasons who preferred the stories set on Mewni. It's not a bad idea, but it needed to A.) be set up better and B.) needed more time to be fleshed out. I get that it's designed to be a sequel hook, but it's not like this is something that the series had been building up to to the point where we the audience can put together what happens next. As is, it's just weird.

 So yeah, the last couple of episodes of Star vs. where a total mess. It's fitting that the finale to Star happened to come out the same day as the finale of Game of Thrones. While I'm not going to act like there weren't some parts I liked or some good ideas sprinkled throughout, this finale was pretty bad. How do you have a show that preaches acceptance and equality and end it with a genocide?! But hey, genocidal problems call for genocidal solutions am I right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ufmrn7BCuA

My God, It's Dragon Ball Super all over again.

 And the worse part is that the series didn't have to end this way. Cause the show actually had a pretty good episode about half way through the season, "Cornonation" which would of acted as a great series finale! With the series ending with Eclipsa as Queen and ruling with Globgor by her side, with the mewmans finally accepting monster kind. You'd have to change a few things, like rap up Mina's plot and put Star and Marco together, but other than that it could of really worked. Admirably it may end up feeling more like a finale for Mewne as oppose to a finale for Star but it would thematically fit with the message of the series. Or if you really wanna keep this finale more in tack just don't have Star destroy the magic. Just have Star, Moon, and Eclipsa go off and do the one thing the three of them had never tried doing. Working together. And have them defeat Mina the old fashion way. They even allude to this idea in the tavern episode before Star goes on her whole "We gotta destroy the magic" kick.

 It is a bit ironic to think that a show that's whole message is about unity could end up being so divisive with it audience. I genuinely believe that had the show ended on a better note, people would look back on the show more fondly. Despite the flaws. To the people who don't like Star vs. The Forces of Evil, I can understand where you are coming from. Even if you ignore the finale there are things to not like. A lot of things aren't very well explained and the show has its fair bit of plot holes. The series can be repetitive with its frequent shipping and "racism is bad" episodes. And some of the characters can be a bit annoying, including our main lead at times.

 That being said though, I have to say, I can't bring myself to hate this show.

 I don't know what it is, but I just found myself getting really invested into this series. Maybe it was due to me hearing so much bad things about the later seasons that I had low expectations, and while that may be part of it I don't think that's the whole reason. When you watch as many cartoons as I have, and for as long as I have, it becomes harder for things to impress you. Sometimes it can feel like your just checking shows off of a box, which is something that I've been trying to improve upon. But watching this show, it brought me back to the way I felt back in the early 2010's when I first started getting into these types of series.  For all of Star's flaws, and trust me there are many flaws, it felt like it was doing something unique. Like it was in it's own little world that wasn't quiet Adventure Time and not quiet Steven Universe. And the series stuck with me after I finished watching it, which is surprisingly kinda rare. It's why I became interested in doing this review in the first place.

 Star vs. the Forces of Evil is a flawed show. Very flawed. But I'd rather have a flawed show that's unique than a perfect show that's something I've seen a million times. And while I may not be a fan of how it ended, I don't think that should completely take away from all the good that this show has to offer. This show isn't going to be for everybody, and If you somehow made it this far into the review without seeing the show than I hope I've said enough to help you figure out if this show is right for you. But for me, despite everything, the series still has it's magic.

 What did you think of Star vs. the Forces of Evil? I really genuinely want to know on this one.  Did it go downhill and if so than when? Leave those thoughts in the comments down bellow. Please fav, follow, and comment if you liked the review. And have a great day.

[theirishhalfling]

31, 32, 39!

31. Tell me about your current party!

I have three current parties in three games and don’t want to play favourites, so bear with ;)

The-one-where-I-play-a-paladin:

  -    Watcher, human paladin-swashbuckler, a doormat in human form, crown prince of not-Spain, just wants to do help people but by god is that still a lot to hope for, something of babysitter who gets ignored more of the time, was adopted by/adopted a god who’s a vampire, has daddy issues, and all his charisma is in his hair

  -    Axaliah, half-elf barbarian-sorcerer from the north, very much a sulky teen who likes to get her way, loves the cold and ice magic, and makes Watcher despair the second she opens her mouth 99% of the time

  -    Gallaren, warforged cavalier, a noble literal suit of armour, pretty down to earth and reliable, has a super cool metal pegaus called Cheval, and someone who’s finally a civilised face who Watcher could seek solace in

  -    Vetrak, kobold arcana cleric, the newest member of the group, “can you help me with this problem? Oh okay I’ll just follow you instead…:(”, a master of sass, a massive fan of dragons, likes to ride on Galleran’s shoulders, and is the only one who can get away with insulting Axaliah

The-one-where-I-play-a-bard:

  -    Zeke, gnome bard-warlock, everything must be purple and gold, thinks he’s about twice his height and acts it, a lover of the violin, not the most polite of fellows, a little bit of an alcoholic, has memory issues but not because of the drink, and has a love-hate with his feylord patron who he finds rather attractive but also likely killed everyone he ever knew

  -    Solomon, half-orc paladin, down-to-earth, a little slow but has some smarts hidden in there, the (usually) voice of reason, a wall of steel who’s perfect to hide behind, spent a while living in the feywild, and the only one to know Zeke has holes in his memory after they blurted secrets at one another trying to solve a puzzle

  -    Fred, human wild magic sorcerer, who has somehow only been a potted plant once, has blue crystals in his face, very French, might as well be a bard as he likes to play the ‘peep-de-bag’ (bag pipes) a lot of the time, likes to travel around on his broom, and occasional argues wind vs string instruments with Zeke

  -    Xanthie, wood elf monk, very much a natural girl, doesn’t like being unable to see the sky, can come across as a bit blunt, knows what she wants and will get it, stole a magical horse and flaunted the fact in front of its owner, curb stomped two innocent pixies because she hates fey, and nearly got caught alongside Zeke breaking into a mansion

The-one-where-I-play-a-warlock-and-has-had-two-sessions:

  -    Eziah, aasimar warlock, the typical holier-than-thou fellow, just wants to impress his patron and earn points, but is actually rather selfish, and is a flashy one who likes his gold

  -    Lao, aasimar monk, pretty much a hobo who’s never seen a bath in his life, all hair, all tattoos, all the anger and vices, and the kind of person you’d cross the street to avoid

  -    Darcath, eladrin ranger, on the run from some nasty fey, has no qualms in killing things, very straight to the point, and nearly caused a TPK thanks to the aforementioned nasty fey

  -    Burge, human druid, an actual teenager but very polite and will call you out on your cursing (Lao), hid under a table during an orc assault, very attached to his horse and cart, and is on the lookout for his missing father

32. Most memorable NPC you’ve encountered in a game you played in.

This is tough, because I’ve come across a lot of NPCs across a fair few games. I think I’d say a young NPC king called Jason from the first game I played with Dekker.

The DM used him as a bit of a comedy character, who the fighter of the group hated and the others didn’t respect because he was so naive, and was essentially a Dekker fanboy. But from a character perspective, Jason was the first person who was actually, y’know, nice to Dekker. 

I think Jason believing Dekker was a hero was partly responsible for him actually deciding that maybe he could change as a person. And, in a game of many, many deaths, Jason actually survived. And made Dekker a godparent to his kids once things were cleaned up.

39. Favourite villain you’ve defeated?

This is also a tough one, because as villains go, there have been them across campaigns, but they either have yet to be defeated or we didn’t actually get to defeat them in necessarily a satisfying way.  So I can’t necessarily answer this question properly because it’d be easy to pick a boss we’ve fought that was fun, but I wouldn’t call them a ‘favourite villain’.

In Dekker’s game there was an evil NPC king we loved to hate, but his defeat was incredibly lacklustre and swallowed up in a generic mass combat. And the main villain(s) in that campaign we didn’t actually get to defeat ourselves – they just… Died.

On the other hand, the villain in Watcher’s campaign is great, but we’ve yet to defeat him (if we manage it haaaa). He’s a solar, so a nice twist on the good slant of an angelic being, who wants to wipe the world clean (again, he was stopped before). And since we were the ones who re-released him into the world, there’s nothing like the crippling feeling of responsibility and guilt weighing down your shoulders when tackling a villain. He’s been busy killing our loved ones, potential allies, wiped out a large city and is likely stalking us as he gets up to no good in the background.

[chocoluckchipz]

Dance with Me, Chaton - 4

Read it on A03, WattPad, FF.net

Written for @ladynoirjuly2019

< Previous

4. Babysitting

Chat Noir: Okay, so, if we’re doing this we’ve got to give everyone a code name.

Ladybug: We already have them. Chat Noir and Ladybug?

Chat Noir: But what about M Agreste?

Ladybug: Why does he need one? We can call him The Boss.

Chat Noir: Too obvious.

Ladybug: What’s wrong with that?

Chat Noir: Nothing unless someone hacks us? We'll be in huge trouble.

Ladybug: :thinking: Won't they see us giving the codenames in the first place?

Chat Noir: We’ll delete these messages.

Ladybug: I feel like it’s easier to agree than argue OTL

Chat Noir: You’ve got it, my Lady.

Ladybug: Okay fine. Let’s do Hawk.

Chat Noir: Hawk? O_o Why?

Ladybug: Because hawks symbolize creativity, wisdom and determination. M Agreste is a hawk.

Chat Noir: Pfft. No? He’s more like a moth. Cooped up in his room all day with fabrics around him.

Ladybug: Hawk.

Chat Noir: Moth.

Ladybug: Listen. If anyone will hack us it’s better to have a more noble code name for him. Just in case.

Chat Noir: And I’ll take full responsibility but he’s a moth.

Ladybug: And you’re stubborn. Okay, fine. Let’s combine them. Mothy Hawk?

Chat Noir: Hawky Moth? LOL

Ladybug: LOL Nope. Hawkmoth? Or Mothhawk?

Chat Noir: LMAO Let’s go with Hawkmoth. It sounds more evil.

Ladybug: Hawkmoth it is then.

Ladybug: So, what do you propose we do? How do we convince them to do something about those designs?

Chat Noir: :thinking: Tbh, I haven’t really thought about any strategies yet. Let’s see what’s realistic at this point at first. I get it that there is no time for creating new designs?

Ladybug: Nope. With a month left till the big show? No way.

Chat Noir: What about pulling them?

Ladybug: We’ll lose at least 10 out of 15 outfits from that line. Not really an option either.

Chat Noir: So, fixing the existing once?

Ladybug: That’s the only way I see it.

Chat Noir: So let’s do this. We’ll sketch the existing designs sans the abomination and present it to him and idk maybe a survey of the company’s employees on which version they prefer? To show him that people hate his “innovations.”

Ladybug: Yeah. Only the issue is no one has access to the full collection apart from Hawkmoth himself. Multiple designers worked on that line over a few months and even they don't know which outfits made the final cut and which didn't. You know how Hawkmoth likes to keep his lines as much a secret as possible to prevent the leaks?

Chat Noir: I admire your adaptability, my Lady ;3 Using the code names already.

Ladybug: LOL I won’t admit that I retyped that message a few times because I kept writing his real name XD

Chat Noir: Still impressive, Okay so we need access to his collection. Suppose we’ll get it. What’s then? I can’t really draw.

Ladybug: Then you’re lucky I can. But I really don’t see how we can get them. Rumours say he keeps everything on his work computer under the state-of-the-art security system.

Chat Noir: Oh shoot. I have to go, my Lady. Let’s think about it and chat later?

Ladybug: Sure. My cue, as well. Thanks for doing this, Chat.

Chat Noir: My purrleasure.

Adrien put the phone away as he noticed Kagami approaching. She was typing something on her cellphone but as soon as she caught him in her side vision, Kagami smiled and waved.

He smiled. Not so subtle, are we, Ladybug?“Good morning, Mlle Tsurugi.”

“Call me Kagami.” The girl smiled at him, putting her cellphone away. “I thought we’ve been over that yesterday.”

“Yes, we’ve been.” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry. I haven't gotten used to this yet.”

She chuckled. “You’re socially awkward, Adrien. That’s adorable, but we’ll need to work on that. A future leader of such a company as Gabriel needs to exude confidence.”

“Right.” Adrien straightened subconsciously. “I’ll work on that.”

“Should we go then?”

“Your shadow for the next few days is ready.”

Kagami smiled, her eyebrow arched. “Good. Because I have quite a few things to show you today.”

And so, Adrien’s mission to confirm that Kagami Tsurugi was the mysterious Ladybug had started. It fitted splendidly. She was fierce and brave and wouldn’t take nonsense from anyone, including his father. Though, with him, she’d held back, expressing her opinion in a polite but confident way. Although he couldn’t confirm her drawing abilities, mentioned in this morning’s chat, that didn’t dishearten Adrien. He’d find a way to do so later without bringing unwanted attention to himself. He couldn’t risk her learning his identity now, not when they’d only just started their conspiracy online.

***

Chat Noir: I hope your day was enjoyable, My Lady.

Ladybug: More or less. Had a lot of work and babysitting to do.

Chat Noir: Babysitting? At Gabriel? Or you skipped work?

Ladybug: LOL. Nope. Babysitting at work. I had a tail following me everywhere today. An intern to educate.

Adrien bit on his lip. Universities had just ended their school year, and Gabriel had a lot of interns following many of his regular employees. It could’ve been anyone. Or Ladybug must be being smart and calling him an intern, so she could still mention her troubles without revealing her identity.

Chat Noir: Were they annoying? It doesn’t sound like you’ve enjoyed the experience calling it babysitting.

Ladybug: XD No they were fine. It’s just a term we’re using for interns. “Babies” because they have no idea what they are in for. And as such, having an intern is babysitting.

Chat Noir: LOL Fitting. So? Do you have any ideas regarding our project?

Ladybug: Sadly no. I’ve thought of showing crazy designs vs regular ones to a third-party and ask their opinion and then show the results to Hawkmoth, but that’ll be leaking the designs. We’ll get fired immediately.

Chat Noir: Didn’t we discuss surveying the company? Not a third-party?

Ladybug: I don’t see how anyone’s opinion inside Gabriel can convince him to change his mind. Someone Hawkmoth admires has to tell him and we all work for him. Not exactly that admiring.

Chat Noir: Well, then we’re thinking more. Say, Ladybug, can I ask you a question?

Ladybug: Shoot, but be quick cause I’m about to call it a day.

Chat Noir: Got it :3 I was wondering what got you to change your mind and go for this? Trying to convince Hawkmoth again.

She took her time to reply, but when she did, Adrien straightened in his seat.

Ladybug: Do you remember how I told you Adrien Agreste was a stuck up antisocial prick?

Chat Noir: Clearly.

Ladybug: Well. Happens I was wrong about him, so I thought if I was wrong about him, I might be wrong about his father not be willing to listen and change.

Adrien huffed and typed.

Chat Noir: Oh, you were right about Gabriel Agreste. Let me assure you. He’s pretty unchangeable and doesn’t like to listen. Believe me. Talking from personal experience.

Ladybug: That’s a pity.

Chat Noir: But he can bargain.

Ladybug: That’s something. The hope lives on ;)

Chat Noir: Let’s hope so, but may I ask what made you change your opinion on younger Agreste?

Ladybug: I guess, meeting him myself. I might have previously formed my opinion on his character based on rumours, the fact that his BFF was Chloe Bourgeois and he dated Lila Rossi. I mean what sane person would hang around those ladies?

Chat Noir: You know the Lila rumours are false, right?

Ladybug: They are?

Chat Noir: Completely. I’ve heard him say himself. In fact, it quite surprised him to hear them. He’d met Lila just yesterday, and it wasn’t anything he’d love to repeat.

Ladybug: But he’s still friends with Chloe?

Chat Noir: Yeah, but only because he wasn’t allowed to attend a public school, and she was the only one around. Though I’ve heard they are not as close now as they used to, and he’s got normal friends in his university.

Ladybug: You know quite a lot about him, don’t you?

Chat Noir: Side-effects of working close to his father. Nothing unusual.

Ladybug: Right. XD Well, I’m glad he's a decent person. He seemed to be. Anyway. I have to go now, Chat. Goodnight.

Chat Noir: Goodnight my Lady.

I’ll see you tomorrow, he whispered into the silence of his room.

_______________________________________________________________________

Next >

[katiesclassicbooks]

Review: Watchmen by Alan Moore Illustrated by Dave Gibbons

Synopsis:

Watchmen is a graphic novel that was written by Alan Moore and illustrated by Dave Gibbons. It was published in 1987. In the midst of the threat of nuclear warfare, the world is reimagined as if super-heroes really exist in this graphic novel. The group of super-heroes also known as the watchmen, presented in this story are all psychologically complex. We get glimpses into their pasts and their different viewpoints. They all have different viewpoints on how to save the world. Also, complicated and imperfect morality. 

Storyline:

I was hooked and astounded by this multi-layered story. There really was so much packed in here. This shows a world that is overshadowed by potential destruction and Armageddon. A world plagued by the threat of nuclear warfare. Yet, in this world super-heroes are real and what are super-heroes for except to save the world? It’s so much more complex than that though. These super-heroes are flawed. They are just as human as everyone else (well most of them) and have been shaped by their pasts. They all have different viewpoints about the world, saving it and fighting crime. All of which are interesting, all seem morally complicated and none seem like exactly the right answer. Also, the question is asked ‘who watches the watchmen?’ What is behind it all? Does anyone really have the right to make decisions on behalf of humanity or other people? If superheroes existed would they have that right? Do policemen and the law have that right? Do political leaders have that right? Does anyone have that right? I’ve read that Alan Moore is an anarchist and within that theme of ‘who watches the watchmen?’ I can see his anarchy seeping through. This story was so engrossing, thought provoking and wonderfully executed both through the storytelling of Alan Moore and the artistic talent of Dave Gibbons. 

Setting:

Watchmen is set in a slightly altered 1980’s where some of the history has changed a bit because of the existence of superheroes. The setting was great and since this is a graphic novel was shown through art rather than described with words. I really did love the art style in this graphic novel. I mean, this is the first graphic novel/comic series I have ever read so I don’t have anything to compare it too, but I really did love it. My favorite color palette and setting was when Dr. Manhattan was on Mars. I loved the blue and the pink. All those images when he was there were so cool. Perhaps the scenes on earth were so busy, that the simplicity, space and yet beauty of the drawings of Dr. Manhattan being away from it all just kind of did it for me. 

Characters:

The characters and the concepts they explore are what really made this book. Through their exploration all the themes of the novel emerge. First of all there is Rorshach. He is ultra pessimistic and you could say even potentially a nihilist. His focus is smaller and he sees the worst of humanity. It seems like he thinks it’s hopeless, but yet relentlessly fights evil. He doesn’t seem to look as much at the big picture as the others though. While I liked Rorshach in a way and he was an interesting character, he was not a favorite. Then there’s The Comedian. He also sees the worst in the world. He sees the world as a big joke. Therefore he decides to cash in on the joke and reflect humanity’s worst qualities. Sure he’s a superhero, but he also works for the government. He was not likable to me for obvious reasons. Ozymandias was a favorite character of mine, although I didn’t completely agree with or admire him. In fact, what is so great about these characters is that you don’t agree with or admire any of them completely. They and their ideologies are all flawed. Ozymandias has a utopian, optimistic vision for the future. He wants to bring a resurgence of all that is great about humanity such as knowledge and art etc. His idol is Alexander the Great. He says that people in the 20th century either were taking a pessimistic or optimistic approach. Seeing the potential for enlightenment or seeing it all as hopeless and almost wishing the world would end. (Don’t think much has changed in the 21st century either). He obviously sees the potential for humanity. He is known as the world’s smartest man and he sees that everyone taking sides and fighting wars just constantly leads to division and can now lead to mutually assured destruction. He decides that humanity needs a threat from outside in order to unite them. I really liked that concept and his vision for a utopian future. The problem is, that plan leads to the sacrifice of the few for the many. Which, morally doesn’t seem right and most definitely not a perfect plan. While he has good intentions for the long term of humanity, he is still very egotistical and seems like he wants to conquer the world. He is the one that really brings up the question ‘who watches the watchmen?’ because he is the one that changes that fate of the world. Did he have the right to do that though? I thought it was interesting that within this story there was a guy reading a comic book about pirates and it paralleled the main story. It was juxtaposed really well and this one image stuck out to me in it. This one man is trying to make it back to his hometown to save everyone from a ship that will take everyone to hell. He has been shipwrecked and is left on an island with a bunch of corpses. He sails to his hometown on a raft that floats on the corpses. The image of him going to save everyone from hell, yet being propelled there by the corpses of others really tied into the rest of the story and what I feel Ozymandias does. It was a good image for what people do in war regardless. Jon or Dr. Manhattan was perhaps my favorite character. I loved his sections. He is the result of an experiment gone wrong where he was completely disintegrated, but he reassembled himself and now has super powers. Timelines got messed up with him and he experiences all time at once. I found him utterly fascinating and the section where it talked about how he experiences all time at once really got me thinking about the nature of time. I put the book down for awhile after that part because I got so caught up in my own musings on time. He also questions whether anything even made the world. He says its a clock without a clockmaker. He says nothing ends. You could say that his views are similar to the meaninglessness that Rorshach sees. I think Rorshach is so much more nihilistic though and I almost feel like Jon shows infinity and infinite potential perhaps. Jon becomes separate from humanity. He doesn’t see how in the grand scheme of things humanity serves any great purpose. He wants to detach from it all. He starts to do that, but then another character named Laurie reminds him of the miracle of life, so he returns for a bit only to become disgusted and leave again. He seems to want to detach from humanity and feeling. Sometimes though it seems he misses and might long for human connection. While he represents disconnection and wanting to disconnect from humanity, Laurie and Nite owl aka Dan seem to cling more tightly at the end to human connection. As the world has gotten more divided people have become more divided. Laurie sees death around them, she’s been confused by her past and she’s been disappointed in trying to be in a relationship with someone as disconnected as Jon. Nite Owl has fallen into boring middle aged retirement and feels a sense of impotence. All these factors bring them together to both try and fight crime and to connect with each other. Laurie I feel is more driven to connection. Nite Owl gets a thrill and feels important when he is fighting crime. These are the complex characters of Watchmen and I understood all of them and yet didn’t quite agree with any of them at the same time. They show different reactions to the world and humanity. Pessimism vs. optimism. Connection vs. disconnection. 

Did I Like It?:

I absolutely loved Watchmen! I wasn’t sure what I would think of the graphic novel medium or this story and it absorbed me, it made me think a tremendous amount and I just think it is a masterpiece that’s very powerful!  It impacted me and I will be thinking about it for a long time to come. My love gave this to me to read as it is his favorite book and he thought that I would get it and appreciate it. I am so glad he did! He was right and I can’t wait to discuss it more with him. Noting how much I have loved his recommendation, I think I’ll be keeping him around for awhile haha. He also recommends V for Vendetta, which I want to read soon now as well. 

Do I Recommend It?:

Yes! So highly. To most people. Doesn’t matter if you think you won’t like a graphic novel or superheros. This book demands to be read. It contains so much and is just a fabulous thought provoking creation. 

~Katie 

[coldcomputersoul]

Star and Marco’s Bogus Journey Episode 3: Waking Eclipsa

Summary: It’s a hoot and a holler when Ludo causes a major political crisis on Mewni. Meanwhile, Star is convinced that Marco is still alive and tries to convince everyone else.

Star vs. the Forces of Evil belongs to:

© Daron Nefcy

© Disney Television Animation

Sealab 2021 belongs to:

© Adam Reed & Matt Thompson

© Adult Swim

[theme song]

ACT I

[The episode starts with Ludo sitting on the royal throne all alone in the darkness. Meanwhile, a massive crowd of people bang their pots and pans in front of the castle as a form of protest. The noise is so loud that Ludo can hear it from inside the castle, causing him anxiety. Cut to three months earlier. Ludo is about to give a special announcement to the citizens of Mewni from the royal balcony, but he’s too short to reach the microphone]

Ludo:

[to the guards] Ehem... [the guards remain still] I said: EHEM!!!

Guard:

Oh, right...

[The guards bring Ludo a couple of boxes so he can reach the microphone. They also lift him up and set him in place]

Ludo:

[standing on the boxes] That’s better… [holds the microphone] Is this thing on?, okay… Citizens of Mewni: As many of you already know, today I’m speaking to you in my role as acting king due the detention and subsequent arrest of Moon Butterfly and River Johannsen, who were caught conspiring against me during a police operation. Now, although a trial date has not yet been scheduled, it is expected to take place within... two weeks at most.

[The audience starts talking among themselves]

Ludo:

However, that’s not the only reason I’ve summoned you today, you see: There have been some... rumors circulating lately regarding princess Star Butterfly that I would like to clarify… first of all: I want to confirm that princess Butterfly is indeed missing, she ran away three days ago and we still don’t know her whereabouts, however… any rumors about princess Butterfly joining a resistance group are 100% false, so I would like to ask you to stop spreading misinformation, please.

[The journalists talk among themselves]

Ludo:

Finally, I would like to announce that despite the current political crisis we’re going through right now, I have no plans to resign and cede my power to the parliament, so I’ll continue in my role as acting king until further notice...

[Ludo’s announcement causes mixed reactions among the audience]

Manfred:

[to the audience] Your majesty will answer all your questions now...

Journalist #1:

Mr. Avarius, does this means that your wedding with Star Butterfly is officially cancelled?

Ludo:

Well, me and my cabinet still didn’t discuss that possibility yet, as right now we’re too busy with some other issues that are far more important, so... I can’t give you a proper answer to that question.

Journalist #2:

Mr. Avarius, as the acting king of Mewni, what are your powers?

Ludo:

According to the law, I’m allowed to take major decisions regarding taxation, foreign policy, police reforms, and so on and so forth… however, I can’t pass new bills all by myself, nor change the constitution. Those are powers that only the parliament has.

Journalist #3:

Mr. Avarius, what will be your plan of action to solve the current unemployment crisis?

Ludo:

We’re gonna create hundreds of thousands of new jobs by spending over $9000 billion in business spending to boost our economic growth by repealing several policies of my predecessor.

Journalist #4:

Mr. Avarius, what policies of the Butterfly administration are you planning to repeal?

Ludo:

Well, for example, I’ll replace the social pensions in favor of an individual capitalization system to allow all the workers to administrate their own pension funds.

Journalist #5:

Mr. Avarius, what are your thoughts on the MPPA*? (*Mewni-Pixtopia Partnership Agreement)

Ludo:

It’s a terrible deal, just as terrible as the person who signed it AKA Moon Butterfly. I’ll renegotiate a better one and we’ll be 10 times richer, you’ll see… okay, I’m tired, no more questions...

[Ludo gets back inside the castle]

Manfred:

Your majesty, there are still some journalists outside the castle, what do you…?

Ludo:

Send in the guard dogs to get rid of them...

Manfred:

Sir, the dogs are feeling sick right now.

Ludo:

Then, just send in the guards for crying out loud!!! and tell them to use pepper spray if it’s necessary… God, I’m surrounded by idiots… I’ll be in my room.

[Ludo retires to his room to have some privacy. Cut to Janna walking to school while chewing bubble gum. Suddenly, she hears a noise coming from a bush in front of the school]

Janna:

What the…?

Star:

[from inside the bush] Psst… Janna, it’s me Star...

Janna:

Star? What are you doing here? I thought you went back to Mewni for good...

Star:

Look, it’s a long story and right now, I don’t have time to explain. I need you to tell me where’s Jackie.

Janna:

Jackie no longer study here, she is moving out...

Star:

Really? Where?

Janna:

To France...

Star:

[panicking] No, no, no ,no, no!!! this can’t be… and just when I had something SO important to tell her… Is she gone?

Janna:

Not yet, she moves out next week. so, you can visit her at her house if you like...

Star:

Great idea!

Janna:

Now, would you please tell me what are you up to? not that I care, I’m just curious...

Star:

There’s no time for that, look… [gives Janna a hand-drawn map] meet me at this place at 6pm… I have very important news to tell you, but I also need Jackie to be present, do you understand?

Janna:

Uhm, Star… [shows the crudely drawn map] this map is garbage... 

Star:

[sigh] The meeting is at the junkyard outside town, okay? there’s an abandoned 60’s van next to a pile of old tires… it’s unmistakable, trust me. 

Janna:

Got it. I’ll there at 6pm then...

Star:

Good, now if you excuse me, I have to go. Don’t tell anyone that you saw me, okay?

Janna:

Sure...

[Star uses her dimensional scissors to leave. In that moment, Hope and Leah show up]

Hope:

Hey Janna, who were you talking to?

Janna:

Uhm, I was… talking to this magical talking bush? [beat]

Leah:

Really?

Janna:

Yeah...

Hope:

Ooh, that sounds like fun, I want to talk to him too… [talks to the bush] hey there fella… [beat] oh, I think he doesn’t like me.

Janna:

Don’t be silly Hope... he’s just being shy...

Hope:

Oh, that’s so cute.

Janna:

Whatever...

[Cut to Hekapoo (still frozen in a crystal) inside the dungeon. In that moment, a mysterious shadow wanders around the hallways and unfreezes Hekapoo]

Hekapoo:

WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I’LL…!!! Huh? Where am I?

Rhombulus:

[o.s] Inside the dungeon, I just unfroze you...

Hekapoo:

That voice...

[The mysterious shadow reveals itself as Rhombulus]

Hekapoo:

Rhombulus?! What the hell is going on?! Why am I in the dungeon?! What happened to Ludo?!

Rhombulus:

Take it easy Hekapoo, I’ll explain you everything, but first to need to calm down...

[Hekapoo takes a deep breath and calms down]

Hekapoo:

Okay, I’m cool now… would you please explain to me what in heaven’s name is going on?

Rhombulus:

Right… so after I froze you...

Hekapoo:

Wait… you were the one who froze me?!!! you damn traitor...!!!

Rhombulus:

[covering himself] Hekapoo please, let me explain to you, I swear it’s not what you think...

Hekapoo:

[sigh] Fine, I’ll listen to you… [crosses her arms] proceed.

Rhombulus:

Right… so after I froze you, Ludo promoted me to do your job, but that’s not the important part… like… Queen Moon and King River were caught trying to hire a hitman to kill Ludo, so they’re no longer in charge… and...

Hekapoo:

What?! When did that happen?!

Rhombulus:

Five days ago, but wait: I’m not done yet.

Hekapoo:

Wait, there’s more?!

Rhombulus:

Yes, because two days after the king and queen’s arrest, princess Butterfly ran away from the castle and no one knows where she is...

Hekapoo:

My God, you know what this means? Ludo has unlimited power now...

Rhombulus:

Not exactly, he’s still being limited by the parliament, but it’s only a matter of time before he finds out that he can remove people if he wants to.

Hekapoo:

You’re right, we gotta act quick if we want to stop him… I’ll just open a portal and...

Rhombulus:

Don’t do that!!! after princess Butterfly escaped from the castle, every dimensional portal is being guarded by the secret police… that’s one of the faculties Ludo gave them in order to maintain order.

Hekapoo:

So, what’s the big idea then?

Rhombulus:

Listen, at the end of this hallway, there’s a secret exit on the bottom right side of the wall, just push the big blue stone and you’ll enter into an abandoned corridor that will lead you outside the castle… once you’re outside, you head right into... [censor beep sound] that’s where the resistance is forming...

Hekapoo:

Wait, are you talking about... [censor beep sound] like, the… [censor beep sound]

Rhombulus:

Exactly, now hurry up, there’s no time to lose… [starts punching himself]

Hekapoo:

[raising an eyebrow] What are you doing?

Rhombulus:

I’m hurting myself in order to make it look like I put up a fight to stop you… [keeps punching himself]

Hekapoo:

Oh, you don’t have to do that… here, let me do it for you...

[Hekapoo starts beating Rhombulus]

Rhombulus:

[lying on the floor] Ouch! ouch! okay… I think that’s enough Hekapoo.. ouch! ouch! wait… please… that really hurts… Aaargh! have mercy… oh God… Aaaaah! [Hekapoo stops]

Hekapoo:

There you go, now it really looks like you put up a fight.

Rhombulus:

[writing in pain] Thank you Hekapoo… aargh!... you’re the best...

[Hekapoo runs away from the dungeon, but suddenly, she hears a familiar voice coming from one of the doors]

Queen Moon:

Hekapoo, is that you?

Hekapoo:

Your majesty, it’s me Hekapoo… are you okay?

Queen Moon:

Yeah, so far River and I are just being locked up, but how about you? do you have a plan?

Hekapoo:

Rhombulus told me the exact place where the resistance is forming, I’m planning to join them. Do you want me to get you out?

Queen Moon:

No, that won’t be necessary, we’ll be okay, however… I want you to do me a favor.

Hekapoo:

What do you want from me?

Queen Moon:

If you find Star… [takes a deep breath] I want you to promise me that no matter what, you will protect her from anyone who tries to hurt her… I know I’m asking you too much and you have to look out for for yourself too, but… Star is my only daughter and I don’t know what would I do if something happens to her, so please… take care of Star...

[Hekapoo simply smiles at her]

Hekapoo:

Don’t worry, your majesty, I won’t let you down...

Queen Moon:

Please, just call me Moon, at this point I’m not a queen anymore.

Hekapoo:

Whatever you say… Moon...

[Both women smile at each other. In that moment, Hekapoo hears some steps coming her way]

Hekapoo:

Oh crap, here comes one of the guards… [runs away] wish me luck Moon...

Queen Moon:

I’ll do it...

[Cut to Jackie carrying a box that says: “memories” and putting it in the trunk of a car. She notices that next to the box is a red belt that makes her think of Marco for a moment, then she takes a deep breath and keeps her way, but suddenly...]

Star:

[right behind Jackie] Jackie...

[Jackie gets startled and falls to the ground]

Jackie:

Star? what are you doing here?

Star:

There’s no time to explain, I need you to… [notices the red belt] Oh my… [takes the red belt] this used to belong to Marco, isn’t it? I remember he worked so hard to earn it... [her eyes get teary]

Jackie:

[standing up] Star, what’s going on?

Star:

[wiping her tears] Right... I want to tell you something very important...

Jackie:

What is it? I’m all ears...

Star:

But not here, I want you to meet me at the junkyard outside town at 6pm. Janna will be there too...

Jackie:

Wait… 6pm? but Star, right now I’m a little busy, you see… my mother took a new job and...

Star:

...and you’ll move out to France. Yeah I know, Janna told me about it, but please Jackie: This is very, VERY important and I need to know that I count on you to be there... [gets on her knees] pleeease...

[Jackie watches Star getting on her knees and thinks about it]

Jackie:

Okay Star, I’ll be there...

Star:

[hugging Jackie] Oh, thank you so much Jackie, it means so much to me to know that I can always count on you.

Jackie:

[hugging her back] That’s what friends are for...

Star:

Okay, I gotta go now… see you at the junkyard...

Jackie:

But Star, before you go, don’t you wanna talk about…?

[In that moment, Jackie’s mom shows up (her face is still unseen)]

Jackie’s Mom:

Jackie...

Jackie:

Yes mom?

Jackie’s Mom:

It’s getting late, did you pack your things in the car? 

Jackie:

Oh yeah, I did it, I was just talking with my friend right… [she turns her head but Star is now gone] here...

Jackie’s Mom:

Jackie, is something wrong?

Jackie:

Nevermind. I’ll just go upstairs for my skateboard.

[Jackie gets inside the house. Cut to Ludo practicing magic spells in his room]

Ludo:

[holding the wand] [taking a deep breath] Okay, one more time: Mega Narwhal Blast!!!

[A couple of sick narwhals come out of the wand and fall on the floor]

Ludo:

[throwing the wand] YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! F***ING WAND!!! I just don’t understand what am I doing wrong… God, this pisses me off!!!

[In that moment, Manfred shows up]

Manfred:

[opening the door] Your majesty...

Ludo:

What are you doing? I thought I told you to never interrupt me while I’m alone in my room, you sicko.

Manfred:

But your majesty, this is an urgent matter...

Ludo:

And so is my privacy, have you ever stopped to think about that?

Manfred:

But, your majesty...

Ludo:

[mocking him] But your majesty… shut the f*** up you irritating idiot, don’t you see I’m…?

[One of the guards show up in the room]

Guard:

Your majesty, there are riots in the street right now...

Ludo:

What? Why didn’t you tell me before?!!! ugh, you people are so incompetent.

[Ludo runs to the meeting room along with the guard. Manfred just watches him leave with utter disgust]

Ludo:

[talking to the guards] Okay, I want you to tell me what the hell is going on right now.

Guard #1:

Well, you see… it all started with an old man arguing with a police officer, but then...

Guard #2:

Then the officer did something that… well, see it for yourself:

[A couple of guards bring a TV screen to the meeting room, then one of them uses a remote control to turn it on]

News Anchor:

...after being shot in a drive by shooting, Mewni’s state hospital finally confirmed the death of Blinky the clown at 4pm eastern time… in other news: Mewni lived a massive riot at Polybius Square after an elder man was brutally beaten by a police officer. Our field reporter, Tyrone Maggotbone is on the scene: How is everything over there Tyrone?

Tyrone:

[in front of a riot] Jeff, this is without a doubt one of the most unprecedented riots I’ve ever seen in my life. Hundreds of thousands of Mewmans are fighting against the police without an inch of fear… it’s like, these are levels of violence that we’ve never seen among mewmans before, I mean, look at this… [the camera shows a group of policemen kicking an old lady on the floor] are you getting this? Jesus Christ, that’s violent.

News Anchor:

Any idea of how this conflict escalated so quickly?

Tyrone:

Well, luckily for us, someone recorded the entire conflict that started this protest on his phone, I’ll send it to you so… there you go.

[The video shows an old man holding a sign that says “bring back social pensions” and a police officer approaches him asking him to leave, but they start a heated discussion which ends with the police officer banging the old man’s head with his stick, causing the outrage of everyone among the crowd]

Tyrone:

Now, I don’t know how this is going to end for the citizens of Mewni, but one thing’s for sure: This is an incident that people will never forget...

[The TV turns off]

Guard #1:

So, what are you gonna do about…?

Ludo:

Tear gas.

Guard #1:

Wait, what?

Ludo:

I want you to stop the riots using tear gas.

Guard #2:

But your majesty, don’t you think you should…

[Ludo pulls out a gun and shoots him in the leg]

Ludo:

What was that? Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were questioning my authority for a moment. Anyway, use tear gas on every person who dares to even hold a sign, no exceptions. Do I make myself clear?

Guards #1 & #3:

Yes sir...

[The guards take their injured co-worker to the hospital]

Ludo:

[thinking to himself] The people of this country think they can make fun of me, huh? well, the joke’s on them because this is just getting started.

ACT II

[Cut to Jackie heading towards the junkyard on her skateboard. Once she gets there, she sees Janna along with Marco’s parents, Sensei Brantley, Gustav, the Morrisons, Alfonzo and Ferguson]

Jackie:

[fist bumping with Janna] Hey Janna...

Janna:

[chewing bubblegum] Hey Jackie...

Jackie:

Could you please tell me what’s going on?

Janna:

Well, you’re asking the wrong person, because I’m just as clueless you right now...

Sensei Brantley:

Hey, I was told that we would get free candy. I want my free candy.

Gustav:

This better be good. I missed my cooking class for coming here.

Alfonzo:

Hey look, it’s Star...

[Star suddenly appears from behind the van]

Mr. Diaz:

Star, what’s the meaning of this?

Ferguson:

Yeah, why did you call us?

Star:

I’m so glad you asked that question, because the answer will certainly blow your minds… now, we all remember our dear friend Marco, right? a regular teenage boy with a lot hobbies including videogames, cooking, karate and even ballet… yes, he was great dude with a lot of potential, but sadly on a dark turn of events he sacrificed himself in the name of the greater good.  But… what if he didn’t really die and he’s more alive than ever before?

Janna:

[raising her hand] Uhm, excuse me, but… what the hell are you talking about?

Star:

That’s a very good question Janna Banana… and in order to answer it, first I want to show you something in my phone that will give you a clue of what I mean… take a look:

[Star shows them a clip from Sealab 2021 (from the episode “Der Dieb”)]

Star’s Phone:

Murphy: Now who's ready to beat some ass?

Marco: [steps forward and kneels] I'm in.

Murphy: I dub thee... [knights Marco with the bat] Sir Phobos, Knight of Mars, Beater of Ass. Be a hitter, babe.

Stormy: Hey!  I wanna be a Martian Knight...

[Marco steps over to Stormy, now brandishing a bat]

Stormy: ...with... you guys? Maybe... get... one of them bats?

[Marco hauls off and knocks Stormy in the crotch with the bat; Stormy falls to the floor]

Debbie: Oh my God!

Quinn: What are you doing?

Murphy: Silence! I am enforcing the sacred law of the Red Planet.

Sparks: It's not 'Martian' law. It's-

Murphy: [to Marco] Sir Phobos?

[Marco walks over to Sparks, offscreen. We see the bat flying around and hear lots of thumps and Sparks' cries]

Sparks: [off-screen] Oww!!! My hand!!! You crushed my hand!!!

Mrs. Morrison:

Is this a joke?!

Mr. Diaz:

Star, you better have a good explanation for this!

Star:

Don’t you get it?! [points at her phone] This right here is Marco, OUR Marco. He’s trapped on another dimension and we gotta get him back.

Janna:

[giving her a pat on the back] Okay Star, with all due respect, I think you need some help, because you’re clearly out of your mind...

Star:

I’M NOT CRAZY!!! Marco is still alive and this is the proof...

Jackie:

But Star, that’s just a TV show. Just because there’s a character that shares the same name as Marco doesn’t mean they’re the same person.

Star:

But it’s not just the name. They have the same hobbies, the same personality traits, the same haircut... how can you not see it?

Gustav:

[standing up] Alright, I have enough of this… I’m leaving now...

Mr. Morrison:

Yeah, we’re leaving too...

[Everyone starts leaving]

Star:

Hey, where are you going? don’t leave me here all alone. We gotta get Marco back!!!

Janna:

Listen Star, if you want my advice: Get a good psychologist. For your own good.

Star:

But I know I’m telling the truth. Jackie, please: Tell everyone that I’m not crazy.

Jackie:

[scratching her head] Eh… well… maybe this time you should listen to Janna...

Star:

[shocked] But jackie… I thought you were my friend...

Jackie:

I am your friend Star, that’s why I think you should get some help. You can’t live the rest of your life in denial. Marco is gone, and he will never come back, and if you keep lying to yourself like this… well, let’s just say you’ll end up hurting everyone else around you… please Star… Star?

[Star stares at the floor in complete silence]

Star:

[whispering] Get out...

Janna:

What did you just say?

Star:

[screaming] Get out!!! All of you!!! Now!!!

Jackie:

But Star, we’re your friends...

Star:

I don’t have any friends here… leave me alone!!!

[Star turns away and hides inside the van. Jackie tries to follow her, but Janna stops her]

Janna:

Jackie don’t… that’s not a good idea.

Jackie:

but, I can’t help myself Janna. She looks so vulnerable.

Janna:

Yeah, but I know she’ll get over it one day. She just needs some time alone to mourn Marco, that’s all.

Jackie:

[sigh] You’re right. it’s not up to us.

Janna:

Come on, let’s go. We’ll be back tomorrow...

[Jackie and Janna leave the junkyard. Cut to Ludo having a meeting with the parliament and the Magic High Commision. He just walks around in circles over the table while rubbing his chin]

Ludo:

So, let me get this straight: You were at the dungeon looking out the prisoners, right?

Rhombulus:

[looking down] Right...

Ludo:

...and just when you went to check Hekapoo’s cell, you noticed she was gone, right?

Rhombulus:

Yes.

Ludo:

So, the attack was before of after you noticed she was gone, or...?

Guy #1:

Your majesty please, with all due respect: Don’t you think we should be discussing about more important issues? [covering himself] please don’t shoot me...

Ludo:

This is important you nincompoop, a highly dangerous prisoner escaped from the dungeon and I need to know every detail about it to evaluate what kind of security measures should I implement in the future. Stupid bureaucrat.

Guy #2:

Excuse me your majesty, but… what my colleague over here meant by “more important issues” was to talk about the overall discontent of our citizens.

Ludo:

What’s the big deal? I thought you already took care of them. Did you use tear gas to disperse the protesters like I told you to do?

Guy #3:

That’s not the point your majesty. The people reject the entire new system. According to our last poll, your approval rating is only 3%. Queen Moon’s approval was 30% at worst.

Ludo:

Meh, who cares about that? polls are misleading anyway… the people need some time to get used to the new system, that’s all… besides, I’m sure the economy is doing just fine.

Guy #4:

Eh, not exactly...

Ludo:

What? But how can this be? my economic plan was flawless. Explain yourself...

Guy #4:

Well, aside from the fact that nobody has been able to adapt to the new pension system, or the spending cuts you did on education that left several teachers unemployed, the unions are calling for massive strikes due the low wages and unfair contract terms.

Ludo:

Those filthy smurfs!!! [snaps his fingers] Okay, I got it: From now on, unions are forbidden and every person who joins or tries to create one will be punished by DEATH!!!

Guy #3:

But your majesty, that’s against the constitution.

Ludo:

Well, change the damn thing for f***’s sake!!! I’m just trying to solve the problem.

Guy #1:

Your majesty, don’t you think it would be easier if you just apply more sanctions to big companies so they are forced to provide better work conditions to their employees?

Ludo:

Are you nuts?! That will make me look weak and pathetic. We’ll boost the economy by raising tariffs on imported goods instead.

Guy #5:

Uhm, yeah… [scratches his head] speaking of which: The Pixie Empress called this morning to complain about the the changes you made at the MPPA, and...

Guy #2:

We told her it was non-negotiable, so she withdrew from it, and now we lost our main phone service provider.

Ludo:

Ugh, that tinkerslut!!! that’s it, we’re going to war!!!

Guy #4:

Are you insane? that will cost us trillions!!!

Guy #3:

Not to mention their army is like: TEN times bigger than ours. They will pulverize our soldiers.

Ludo:

Look, I’m perfectly aware how hard must be for you that some of our good men will probably die during this bloody conflict… but it’s a sacrifice I am willing to make for this country.

Guy #1:

We won’t let you!!!

Ludo:

[getting angry] Are you questioning my authority as king?!!! I can get you killed for your lack of respect, you know...

Guy #4:

[standing up] Your majesty, please try to be more reasonable. We’re doing our best to come up with a solution to all these problems and you just keep treating us like garbage.

Ludo:

Well, maybe it’s because you’re garbage. I mean, look at this mess. This country is falling apart and I can’t do anything about it because my hands are tied by YOU!!!

Guy #4:

You can’t blame us for your failed policies!!!

Ludo:

Why not? You’re the ones who are keeping me from making the changes this country needs.

Guy #4:

[groaning loudly] Jesus F***ing Christ!!! this is SO pointless, it’s like talking to a child!!! [stands up] that’s it: I’m out of here… [walks away]

Ludo:

HEY!!! GET BACK HERE!!! WE’RE NOT DONE YET!!!

[Everyone else starts leaving as well, including the Magic High Commission]

Ludo:

Oh yeah?!!! fine… I don’t need you to run this country!!! I can do it on my own!!! [he is now all alone at the meeting room] God, being king is frustrating!!! I wish I could have someone to teach me...

[In that moment, Miss Heinous quietly sticks her head in the door]

Miss Heinous:

Uhm, excuse me… Is this the meeting room?

Ludo:

Who the hell are you?! How did you get here?!

Miss Heinous:

Well, I told the guards that I had an appointment and he just let me in...

Ludo:

Ugh, note-to-self: Fire all the guards and replace them with robots.

Miss Heinous:

Look, I understand that you’re busy guy and don’t like to be interrupted, but… if you just give us a minute to talk with you, we would like to make you an offer you might find interesting.

Ludo:

Wait… us? I thought you were alone.

Miss Heinous:

Oh, right… silly me...

[Miss Heinous opens the door and reveals she’s with her minions Gemini and Rasticore]

Miss Heinous:

Allow me to introduce myself: My name is Olga Heinous and these are my personal assistants Gemini and Rasticore. say hello boys. [they make a reverence] I’m the former headmistress of St. Olga’s Reform School for Wayward Princesses. I have my CV right here if you wanna verify for yourself...

Ludo:

School? Oh, I get it. You’re here to complain about the education cuts, [sigh] listen lady: I don’t know who do you think you are, but let me be clear on this: I’m not gonna change my policies. End of story.

Miss Heinous:

No, wait… I’m not here to complain at all, on the contrary: I would personally like to thank you for your excellent job regarding domestic policy.

Ludo:

Domestic policy? What are you talking about? there are still riots on the streets.

Miss Heinous:

Yeah, I know, however: If it weren’t for your police reforms, the situation would be ten times worse.

Ludo:

Finally someone who gets it.

Miss Heinous:

However, while I do think your policies are good, they’re far from being perfect, and that’s why I’m here, your majesty… [makes a reverence] to work with you.

Ludo:

[raising an eyebrow] You are?

Miss Heinous:

Of course, you see: Before I got kicked out from my own school, my crew and I created a new kind of educational system that not only was capable to break our students on the outside, but on the inside too. A prison for the mind if you will. However, one day a princess called Turdina came out of the blue and destroyed my entire job… [has flashbacks of Princess Turdina] All of a sudden, my students became free-thinking rebels: Wild, unpredictable, incapable of being disciplined. Somehow, their minds were no longer mine to control them. All thanks to that one princess...

Ludo:

That’s terrible.

Miss Heinous:

After I lost my school, my job, my reputation, there was nowhere for me to go, in fact: To this day I still live in my car and the only company I have are my dear Rasticore... [gives him a pat on the head] and this deformed freak over here… [points at Gemini]

Gemini:

Hello...

Ludo:

Well, that’s a cute little story and all, but I still don’t understand why should I let you help me.

Miss Heinous:

Wait, I’m not done yet, you see... [has flashbacks of her reading several books] once I lost everything, I spent several weeks analyzing my failure. Day after day I read every book about mind control and discipline to figure out what I did wrong, but after months of pointless research I came to a realization: Maybe, it’s not about take away their freedom, but rather make them believe they have freedom...

Ludo:

Wow, I… never thought about that...

Miss Heinous:

So, what do you say? Let me be your political adviser, and I promise you’ll become the most popular ruler on Mewni since Queen Festivia.

Ludo:

Do I have to become a nice person?

Miss Heinous:

Nope, you can still be as much of a douche as you please.

Ludo:

Well, in that case welcome aboard Miss Heinous. [shakes her hand] I’m sure it will be a pleasure to work with you.

Miss Heinous:

On the contrary your majesty: The pleasure is all mine.

[Cut to Hekapoo arriving at some unknown location (that looks like hell) where a crowd of mewmans and monsters gather around. In that moment, she finds Kelly and Pony Head among the crowd]

Hekapoo:

Kelly? Pony Head? Is that you?

Kelly:

Hekapoo? Oh, thank goodness you’re okay. We thought you were dead.

Hekapoo:

Where’s princess Butterfly?

Pony Head:

[to Kelly] Don’t tell her anything!!! remember that she works for the government and will probably rat us out if we speak.

[Hekapoo and Kelly just look at her with an scornful facial expression]

Pony Head:

[feeling awkward] Eh… I mean… just kidding… come on, can’t you take little joke? he-he...

Hekapoo:

As I was saying: Do you know where she is?

Kelly:

I have no idea, but one thing’s for sure: You won’t find her in this dimension.

Hekapoo:

Wait, how do you know that?

Kelly:

Because we are the ones who helped her in her escape.

Hekapoo:

Really? wow, it must have been difficult for you, I mean with all the guards around watching the place and stuff...

Kelly:

Oh, you have no idea, like… first we had to sneak into the castle while avoiding the watchdogs, at first we tried to climb our way in, but fortunately Tad found a loose stone in the wall and...

Pony Head:

After we got in, I had to take everyone to the top room where Star was with a rope tied to my neck and then Tad said something about a loose bar and blah blah blah, long story short we escaped from the castle and gave Star a pair of dimensional scissors, but that’s all we know so far, I swear...

Hekapoo:

And you don’t have any idea of where she could be, do you?

Kelly:

Unfortunately, Star didn’t tell us where she was planning to go, but I’m sure she went somewhere safe and will be okay.

Pony Head:

Yeah, I mean, it’s not like she’s hiding on Earth or something like that, because that would be really stupid and Star knows better, right? RIGHT?

[Hekapoo and Kelly look at each other very concerned]

Pony Head:

Oh my God, she’s hiding on Earth, isn’t it?

Hekapoo:

I have to go there and find her.

Kelly:

But how? All dimensional portals are being watched by him, you could reveal her location to Ludo if you do that.

Hekapoo:

But she needs someone to protect her, don’t you get it? It’s only a matter of time before he finds out and send their thugs to get her back. If only there was a way to get there without using portals, I...

Random Guy:

Shhhhh… the rally is about to start...

Hekapoo:

Rally? What rally?

[In front of the crowd there’s a stage with a demon servant ready to make an announcement]

Demon Servant:

[holding a paper] And now, your demonic majesty prince Thomas Draconius Lucitor will address you to discuss the current crisis our country is facing.

[Tom gets on stage while holding a microphone. The servant makes a final reverence and leaves]

Tom:

Thank you Frank… Now, we all know why we’re here, right? These hard times we’re living today, this whole crisis that it’s like nothing we’ve ever seen before, we must put a stop to it, but in order to do that we need organization. So, the first thing I would like to propose to all mewmans, demons and monsters is to set aside our differences and come together to face this powerful enemy that doesn’t respect anything, or anyone for that matter, I’m talking of course about Ludo Avarius.

[Everyone starts booing at the mention of Ludo’s name while holding Anti-Ludo signs]

Tom:

Yeah, yeah, I know, I hate Ludo too, but listen: If we REALLY want to take him down, we have to do the smart thing and join our forces to achieve this common goal we all have. Look, I know it hasn’t been easy for any of us, we have our differences and we all know it, but is in times like these where the will of the people is put to the test, and who knows, maybe… JUST maybe, if we’re successful, we’ll realize we have more in common than we thought. So, what do you say? Are you with me?!!!

[The crowd starts cheering at him]

Tom:

Now, that’s what I’m talking about, and with all said and done, I have great news for you: As you may know, Pixtopia just withdrew from the MPPA and shut down all their services on Mewni, however… as we’re speaking right now, a group of my best lawyers and negotiators are reuniting with the Pixie Empress to bring their magic dust to us without any interference from Ludo’s government.

[The crowd starts cheering once again]

Hekapoo:

Wait, did he just say “magic dust”? [walks among the crowd] Hey, I have a question!!!

Tom:

And last, but certainly not least: I recently spent a good amount of my fortune, two hundred four million dollars to be exact, to buy you helmets, pads and gas masks so you can get all the protection you need on the upcoming protests. Bring it on boys!!!

[Tom’s minions fly around the crowd giving helmets, pads and gas masks while the crowd cheers even louder and start singing a song with the same melody of “The Star-Spangled Banner”]

The Crowd:

♫ Ludo go f*** yourself… You are worse than the plague… We will seeeever you head and… Serve it up on a plate… ♫

Tom:

Well, that’s all for today people, and don’t forget to assist to next week’s rally at Polybius Square at 4pm. Don’t forget I count on you, so don’t let me down [winks at the crowd] See you later...

[Tom gets off the stage while the crowd keeps cheering at him. Meanwhile, Hekapoo tries to make her way to the stage. Cut to Tom at the backstage celebrating along with his life coach Brian]

Tom:

That. Was. Incredible!!! I mean, did you see the way they all cheer up for me? Ah man, this is the best day ever!!! High five!!! [he gives a high five to Brian] And all thanks to you Brian... 

Brian:

Don’t mention it master Tom, after all, it’s part of my job. [opens a bottle of soda and drinks it]

Tom:

Oh, don’t be so modest, you know I couldn’t have done this without you, so… you want me to take you to a Big Boy, or something? [gives him a pat on the back] come on, flapjacks are on me...

Brian:

Well, that sounds nice and all, but...

[In that moment, one of Tom’s minions enters the room]

Tom’s Minion:

Master Tom: You have a visit from someone who says she needs to talk with you immediately. She says it’s something important.

Tom:

Wait, did you just say “she”? let her in...

[Hekapoo enters the room escorted by Tom’s minions]

Tom:

Hey, wait a minute… you are that fire chick from the Magic High Commission… Hek-a-something…?

Hekapoo:

Hekapoo... now listen to me: You said you can get pixie dust, right? cause I need a huge favor...

ACT III

[Cut to Ludo and Miss Heinous having a private meeting at Ludo’s room. Heinous walks around in circles rubbing her chin while Ludo just watches her in silence while sitting on chair]

Ludo:

So, what do you think we should…?

Miss Heinous:

[interrupting him] Shhh… I’m thinking...

[Miss Heinous keeps walking around in circles for a while. Ludo gets tired and falls asleep]

Miss Heinous:

[shouting] I GOT IT!!!

[Ludo wakes up startled and falls off the chair]

Ludo:

[standing up] What? What? What? Where am I?

Miss Heinous:

I just came up with the perfect plan to make you popular among young people.

Ludo:

Really? And why took you so long?

Miss Heinous:

I’m sorry your majesty, but it was too much information to process in order to get it done. No offense, but you’re not exactly the nicest guy in the world.

Ludo:

[sigh] I know that, why do you think I hired you? Jeez… So, what’s the big idea?

Miss Heinous:

Okay, here’s the plan: Everyone loves a hero, right?

Ludo:

Right...

Miss Heinous:

This notion of a brave, fearless warrior facing the adversity, overcoming the obstacles that come his way in order to achieve his goals, or save the people the loves. That’s where the appeal is.

Ludo:

Okay, I think I know what you mean, but how exactly will I become a hero? I mean, just the idea of having a hand-to hand combat nice makes me wanna piss my pants.

Miss Heinous:

Oh, but that’s the whole trick your majesty: It’s not about make you look like a hero, but instead make your opponents look so bad, that people perceive you as a hero.

Ludo:

I’m not following you...

Miss Heinous:

It’s quite simple really. Just like the story of David and Goliath, people always tend to look out for the underdog, so in order to make you a hero, we’ll turn your enemies into the huge, evil monsters you should fight to save Mewni. In other words: You’ll become king David and they will be your Goliath.

Ludo:

Oh, now I get it. I must say, I’m starting to like this idea and all, but... how are gonna change people’s perception of me? I mean, I only have a 3% approval rating.

Miss Heinous:

Just leave everything to me your majesty, after all: If we want to achieve our goal we have to go one step at a time.

Ludo:

Well, if you say so...

[In that moment, one of the guards opens the door to make an announcement]

Guard:

Your majesty, the rioters came back. They’re making some kind of rally at Polybius Square.

Ludo:

What?!!! Send the military and them to shoot those terrorists right in the...

Miss Heinous:

[interrupting Ludo] Wait, don’t do that!!!

Ludo:

Huh? Why not?

Miss Heinous:

Look, just let them have their rally, trust me.

Ludo:

Aw, but I hate rallies...

Miss Heinous:

Listen to me: If you decide to respond with violence, not only will you legitimize their movement, but you’ll also lose the few approval you already have. Be smart and play safe, please...

[Ludo takes a moment to think about it]

Ludo:

[sigh] Okay, I’ll do as you say… [talks to the guard] Cancel the attack, but send a brigade of police officers to watch the surrounding areas.

Guard:

Yes sir… [leaves the room]

Ludo:

Are you sure this will boost my popularity?

Miss Heinous:

Of course it will, this is all part of the plan. Just let them have their puny little rally for now, because soon enough you’ll have them eating out of your hand.

Ludo:

Excellent...

[Ludo and Miss Heinous start laughing evilly. Cut to Star crying inside the van at the junkyard. She looks a picture of her, Marco and the girls, but decides to delete it]

Star:

[thinking to herself] Oh Marco, even though it’s only been a few of weeks since you’re gone, somehow I can still feel your presence all around. Now, I don’t know if it’s because I’m going crazy, or I just can’t accept the reality and move on like everyone else, but one thing’s for sure: Things will never be same again now that I’ve lost you...

[Star closes her eyes and keeps crying in silence surrounded by darkness, when suddenly she hears a whispering, echoey voice that says: “Go further down”]

Star:

[opening her eyes] What?! Who said that?!

[The voice now says: “Down the spiral”]

Star:

Who are you?! What’s going on?!

[Star gets out the van in the middle of the night and follows the mysterious voice that keeps repeating “Go further down” and “Down the spiral” over and over]

Star:

[running across the junkyard] Wait… Where are you? What do you mean by “Down the Spiral”?

[She keeps running around searching for the voice, but suddenly: The voice stops]

Star:

[breathing heavily] Hey… don’t go… don’t… [gets on her knees] oh, who am I kidding? maybe I’m really going crazy and I’m just starting to hear voices… I mean… is there a way this could possibly get any worse?

Hekapoo:

[o.s] Princess Butterfly?

[Star gets startled for a second, but then she turns her head and sees Hekapoo right behind her]

Star:

Hekapoo? What are you doing here? Were you doing those voices I’ve just heard?

Hekapoo:

[raising an eyebrow] Voices? I don’t know what you’re talking about, anyway… thank goodness I found you. I’ve been looking for you for hours, but Janna wasn’t very specific when I asked her where...

Star:

Wait, did Janna tell you I was here?

Hekapoo:

Well, yes.

Star:

Ugh, what a friend… and just when I thought this situation couldn’t possibly get any worse, now it turns out she spilled the beans on me, so you can take me back to marry that knucklehead Ludo.

Hekapoo:

I’m not here to take you back to Mewni.

Star:

Really?

Hekapoo:

On the contrary: I’m here to take you to a safer dimension so Ludo can’t find you. Mewni has become a living hell since you left, so trust me: It’s better for you to stay away.

Star:

What the hell happened on Mewni?

Hekapoo:

Well, after you disappeared Ludo assumed the position of acting king and ever since then he turned Mewni into a neo-fascist dystopia. He doubled down police enforcement, banned every form of protest and suspended several civil liberties.

Star:

Oh my God, that’s terrible.

Hekapoo:

And the worst part is that since your parents were arrested for attempting to hire a hitman to kill Ludo, they’re being kept in prison and no one is able to get them out.

Star:

Jesus Christ, we gotta do something.

Hekapoo:

Forget it princess, it’s too dangerous. Just so you know: I had to get here using pixie dust instead of a dimensional portal because even those are being guarded by royal soldiers.

Star:

But we can’t just sit back here and wait for something to happen, the lives of our friends and families are in grave danger and you know it.

Hekapoo:

I’m sorry your majesty, but I promised to your mother that I would protect you, so my answer is no.

Star:

[groaning] You’re unbelievable. It’s like the only thing you know how to do is follow orders, I mean, where’s your sense of individuality? Do you even have any dream? A personal goal in life, of something like that? Or maybe you’re just a selfish, cold hearted bitch, just like my mother... 

[Hekapoo gets angry at Star, so she slaps her in the face]

Hekapoo:

Now listen to me, you ungrateful little brat, because I’m only gonna say this once: You have no idea how much your mother has sacrificed for you to be safe, even at the expense of her own life, so the least you can do is treat her with the respect she deserves.

Star:

[rubbing her cheek] F*** you!!!

Hekapoo:

Besides: You wanna talk about selfishness? What about you princess? after all, you’re pregnant with Marco’s child, aren’t you? Are you telling me you’re willing to put that baby’s life in danger along with your own just to prove a point? I’m pregnant with Marco’s child too, and I don’t wanna risk myself or my upcoming baby just to save you. Have you ever thought about that?

Star:

[turning her back on Hekapoo] Leave me alone...

Hekapoo:

So... no snarky remarks on that one? Huh, why am I not surprised? Well, maybe it’s time for you to just grow up and cooperate with me for a change.

Star:

I didn’t ask for your help...

Hekapoo:

Well, tough luck sweetheart! because you have no choice.

Star:

I’m not going anywhere… [sits on the floor with her arms crossed] you understand?

Hekapoo:

Princess, please… you’re only making my job harder than it should be.

Star:

Well I’m sorry, but your job is not my problem.

[Hekapoo takes a moment to figure out a way to convince her]

Hekapoo:

You know, Janna also told me that you’re convinced that Marco is somehow still alive, is that true?

Star:

And what do you care about that?

Hekapoo:

Because just like you princess, I still remember Marco and would give anything to see him again, but I guess you don’t care about that either.

Star:

You’ll just think I’m crazy like everyone else did.

Hekapoo:

I give you my word that I won’t think you’re crazy, so please: Show me what you know about Marco.

[Star thinks about it for a few seconds. Cut to Star showing Hekapoo the inside of the van. She uses the flashlight of her phone to search for something across the floor]

Hekapoo:

What is this place?

Star:

It’s the inside of a van. It’s a human vehicle that I’ve been using as a house the last few days.

Hekapoo:

Why have you been using a vehicle as a house?

Star:

It’s a human thing, you wouldn’t understand.

Hekapoo:

So… you’re telling me that humans use their own houses as vehicles?

Star:

Not at all of them, just the ones that don’t have a roof over their heads.

Hekapoo:

So, there are humans that live under roofs they call houses, and the ones that don’t have roofs live inside vehicles they call houses, even though they’re not roofs? God, humans are weird... 

Star:

I’ve found it!!!

[Star shows her a notebook with all the information she’s been collecting]

Hekapoo:

What is this? wait, let me just… [uses her powers to create a flame to light up the place] there you go.

[The notebook contains images of several Sealab 2021 episodes along with their respective airdates, production codes, summaries and footnotes. The pictures with Marco have a red circle drawn around his face]

Star:

Okay, these images are from a TV show called Sealab 2021. It’s about a group of scientists living in an underwater research station for research purposes, but because of their sheer incompetence and unprofessional behavior they blow up their lab in almost every episode.

Hekapoo:

[rubbing her chin] Okay...

Star:

Now, after watching the complete series three times in a row and doing some research, I’ve found out that this show… is actually a parody of another show called Sealab 2020. 

Hekapoo:

Eh, I don’t understand what does this have to do with…?

Star:

Wait, I’m not done yet… The original show aired in 1972 and the parody aired in 2001, almost 30 years of difference, after doing more research I discovered that between 1970 and 2000 the United States spent around 13.5 million dollars in underwater research stations alone... that’s like 88.6 millions if you adjust it to today’s standards.

Hekapoo:

Wow, I didn’t know you were so good at math.

Star:

Well, to tell you the truth, I asked some help from Alfonzo for that one, but anyway: The reason I’m telling you this is because of this character over here… [points at Marco]

Hekapoo:

Well, he kinda looks like Marco.

Star:

That’s the whole point: The full name of this character is Marco something something Diaz something something something Marquez, he works as the station’s engineer, and not only shares the same name as OUR Marco, but he is also a bit stubborn, has large muscles, knows karate, how to cook, has large muscles, doesn’t speak spanish very well, is a bit corky, has large muscles, he’s even a bit of a ladies’ man… did I mention he has large muscles?

Hekapoo:

Okay, I admit those are a lot of coincidences, but how are you so sure that THIS is OUR Marco?

Star:

Well, remember when Marco attempted to destroy the Espercrystal while it was embedded in Toffee’s body? you know, when Toffee turned into that gigantic mass of flesh and stuff...

Hekapoo:

Yeah, I remember that...

Star:

The last thing we could see before they disappeared was that giant upward spiral of magic energy that quickly vanished into thin air, so… my theory is that maybe, just MAYBE, Marco wasn’t actually disintegrated, but teleported into a different spacetime, something that goes beyond any dimension we have knowledge of. Something like... 

Hekapoo:

A different realm.

Star:

What’s a realm?

Hekapoo:

In the Magic High Commision that’s how we call those places that are beyond any dimension we have registered in our archives, it’s like when you have a map and you reach the edges into unexplored territory.

Star:

Wait, so... do you actually believe me? You don’t think I’m crazy, or something like that?

Hekapoo:

No, not at all, in fact: I think your theory makes a lot of sense considering that realm travelling can actually bend some of the rules of spacetime.

Star:

[getting excited] Oh my God, you know what this means? We can get Marco back!!! [starts jumping for joy] Hooray! this is the best day ever. Using your knowledge and my bravery and determination we’ll be able to find him on wherever dimension he’s in...

Hekapoo:

Wow, wow, wow… now hold your horses for one second princess: realm travelling is nothing like the dimensional travelling you’re used to. We’re talking about a whole new level in spacetime journey that goes beyond my understanding, so… No, we’re not going anywhere.

Star:

But we gotta get Marco back!!! I thought you loved him...

Hekapoo:

Look, I love Marco as much as you do princess, but it’s too dangerous and I promised to your mother that I would keep you safe, so this conversation is over.

Star:

[making a puppy face] Pleeeease...

Hekapoo:

No.

Star:

Oh, come on...

Hekapoo:

I said no, and even if I agreed to do it, I still don’t know how to travel. The only person I know that knows about realm travelling is...

Star:

Who? Who knows about realm travelling?

Hekapoo:

I’m not gonna tell you.

Star:

Come on, just tell me… I promise I won’t do anything. Scout’s honor!

Hekapoo:

Don’t try to fool me, you’re not even a scout.

Star:

[taking a deep breath] Okay, you asked for it: tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me...

Hekapoo:

OKAY, OKAY, I’LL TELL YOU!!! BUT FOR GOD’S SAKE: CUT IT OUT!!!

Star:

It always works...

Hekapoo:

As I was saying: The only person I know that knows about realm travelling is Queen Eclipsa, but she’s still frozen in the crystal dimension so we can’t go there. End of story.

Star:

Sure we can, we just have to use some of that pixie dust of yours and that’s it. Easy peasy lemon squeezy...

Hekapoo:

Okay, first of all: Rhombulus is the only one who has the ability to unfreeze people, and he no longer works on the crystal dimension, and second of all: We’re not going.

Star:

[groaning loudly] You’re just like my mother, you… wait a second: You said that my mother sent you to protect me... which it means you still work for my family... therefore, I’m actually your boss...

[Star looks at Hekapoo with a grin on her face. Hekapoo gulps out of fear]

Hekapoo:

Princess please, just take a moment to consider it...

Star:

Too late, I’ve already made up my mind, so… [puts her arm around Hekapoo’s shoulders] Beam me up Scotty!

Hekapoo:

Me and my big mouth...

[Cut to a group of protesters having a celebration in Polybius Square. There’s people dancing in the streets, people putting up anti-government posters and even people burning an effigy of Ludo. Tyrone, the news reporter is on the scene]

Tyrone:

[holding a microphone] I’m here at Polybius Square where a massive event is taking place right now. Thousands of people gather around for the third consecutive week on what is seems to be the biggest march in Mewni’s history. To give us more details, we have an exclusive interview with none other than the organizer of this entire movement: Tom Lucitor. [the camera shows Tom next to Tyrone] How are you today Tom?

Tom:

Very excited Tyrone, you know, I never thought this movement me and crew started three weeks ago could become so massive, I mean, look at all these people right here. This certainly goes beyond all our projections.

Tyrone:

Right... Moving to another topic, there have been some reports of lootings taking place around the square, as well as some acts of vandalism that some people attribute to the protests, what do you have to say about that?

Tom:

Nothing but isolated incidents Tyrone. I’ve been organizing this movement from day 1 and I’ve spoken with a lot of people, and let let me tell you: The vast majority you’re watching right here are pacific and have nothing to do with the looters. Besides, I can guarantee you that 2 out of 3 looting incidents are hoaxes made by the police in order to discredit our movement.

Tyrone:

Really? How does that work?

Tom:

Well, first they pay a group of people to put on some masks and attack a bunch of previously selected stores and small business they capture on video, and then they post it on the internet to...

[Cut to Ludo and Miss Heinous watching the news at the meeting room]

Ludo:

[panicking] Oh my god, they found out about the hoaxes. The plan is ruined!!!

Miss Heinous:

Relax your majesty, this is exactly what we wanted.

Ludo:

[raising an eyebrow] It is?

Miss Heinous:

Of course!!! In fact: The rise of that demon boy is the best thing that could have happened to us.

Ludo:

Really? But how? I don’t get it.

Miss Heinous:

Elementary, my dear Ludo: The best way to make you popular is to find someone that people can hate more than they hate you, don’t you understand? By dragging Tom down, we’ll discredit your entire opposition making them look dishonest. In that way we can shift the narrative to turn you into the lesser of two evils. It’s politics 101 basically...

Ludo:

My God… That’s brilliant!

Miss Heinous:

Now, the only thing we have to do is find some dirt on him, but how are we gonna do it?

Ludo:

You leave that to me, I know the perfect guy...

[Cut to Rhombulus trying to create dimensional scissors at Hekapoo’s fortress. However, all his attempts so far have failed miserably, resulting in a pile of deformed scissors]

Rhombulus:

[putting his hands around the fire] Almost there… [the scissors turn out okay] Yes!!! [but then they stretch and deform] Oh, F***!!! [throws the scissors into the pile] Who am I kidding? I don’t know how to make dimensional scissors, Ludo will blow me into smithereens for this. [sigh] If only Hekapoo was here to teach me how to do it, I mean, she makes it look so easy...

[In that moment, Hekapoo appears out of nowhere, pounces over Rhombulus and puts a magical knife around his neck]

Hekapoo:

Well, maybe you should lower the fire’s temperature for next time, you knucklehead.

Rhombulus:

Hekapoo? What are you doing here?!

Hekapoo:

Oh you know, just paying a visit to an old friend to ask him a small favor.

Rhombulus:

Do I know him?

Hekapoo:

Ha-ha, very funny, now go grab your stuff cause you’ll take us to see Queen Eclipsa.

Rhombulus:

Us? What do you mean by “us”?

[Star appears from behind one of the fortress’ pillars]

Star:

Is he ready Hekapoo?

Rhombulus:

Princess Butterfly?! What’s the meaning of this?!

Hekapoo:

The less you know the better, trust me. Now do as we say and everything will be just fine, okay? OKAY?! 

Rhombulus:

[sweating] Okay, okay, I’ll do as you say...

[Cut to Rhombulus taking Star and Hekapoo to see Queen Eclipsa at the Crystal Dimension]

Star:

[sigh] How long till we get there?

Rhombulus:

We’re here.

[Rhombulus shows Star and Hekapoo the giant crystal block where Eclipsa is frozen]

Rhombulus:

Okay, this is Queen Eclipsa. Can I go now?

Star:

Wake her up...

Rhombulus:

What?! Are you serious?! Do you have any idea who Queen Eclipsa is?!

Hekapoo:

Do as she says, now! [points the knife at him]

Rhombulus:

Okay, okay, I’ll do it. Heaven forgive me...

[Rhombulus uses his powers to unfreeze Queen Eclipsa, but only from the shoulders up]

Queen Eclipsa:

[waking up] Huh? What happened? Why am I awake again?

Star:

[making a reverence] Queen Eclipsa, I came a long way to ask you very important favor...

Queen Eclipsa:

Wait a minute: Moon, is that you? What happened? I thought that spell I gave you to defeat Toffee was enough to take him down, maybe you just mixed up the words...

Star:

[standing up] I’m not Moon Butterfly your highness. I’m her daughter Star Butterfly, and right now I need your help.

Queen Eclipsa:

Let me guess: You’re here because you need to know a particular spell that only I know, don’t you?

Star:

How did you guess?

Queen Eclipsa:

It’s the only reason people have woke up lately, believe it or not.

Star:

So, can you help me?

Queen Eclipsa:

Mmmm… Can you bring me a chocolate bar from that vending machine over there?

Star:

What?!

Queen Eclipsa:

I’m sorry, but I make my decisions better on a full stomach, I hope you don’t mind.

[Star looks at Hekapoo for a moment]

Hekapoo:

[sigh] Don’t worry, I’ll get the bar...

[Hekapoo goes to the vending machine and gets a chocolate bar, then she gives it to Eclipsa]

Queen Eclipsa:

[tasting the bar] Oh, but is is a lemon bar. I wanted the cherry flavoured one.

[Hekapoo starts grinding her teeth as she goes once again to the vending machine to get a cherry flavoured bar, but this time the bar gets stuck inside]

Hekapoo:

[getting angry] SON OF A… [punches the machine, breaks it and gets the bar, then she gives it to Eclipsa] Here’s your stupid bar.

Queen Eclipsa:

[tasting the bar] Ah, that’s better… [eats the whole bar]

Star:

So, can you help me now?

Queen Eclipsa:

Okay, tell me what you want to know.

Star:

Phew! finally… I need you to tell me how to travel through dimensional realms.

Queen Eclipsa & Rhombulus:

DIMENSIONAL REALMS?!

Rhombulus:

[to Hekapoo] Hekapoo, did you tell her about the realms?! that’s against the royal code.

Hekapoo:

Shut up...

Queen Eclipsa:

[to Star] Listen kid, I don’t think you understand the sheer magnitude of your request. Realm travelling is a life-changing experience that can really mess up your mind, and honestly: I don’t wanna take the blame for contribute on your own self-destruction. Please try to understand me.

Star:

But, you’re the only one who knows the spell to do it. Look: this is not about me being morbidly curious or anything like that, I need to know because the love of my life was absorbed by a giant spiral of magic that took him away to another realm and I want to get him back, please...

Queen Eclipsa:

And how did you know he was absorbed into another realm?

Hekapoo:

Because it was absorbed along with the Espercrystal.

Queen Eclipsa:

The Espercrystal?! Oh God, not again...

Star:

Did you know about the Espercrystal?

Queen Eclipsa:

Yes I do, and let me give you some advice: If you do this, I swear to God you’ll regret every single second of your entire existence, so be smart and stay out of the realms.

Star:

But you don’t understand… [gets on her knees] the thing is: I’m pregnant with this boy’s child, I found it out just a few weeks before he disappeared, but I couldn’t tell him in time… and who knows? maybe if I had told him about my baby, he wouldn’t sacrifice himself to save us from that evil crystal and its evil powers, so every time I think about him, I see myself carrying the weight of his loss for the rest of my life, so please… just give me this opportunity, that’s all I ask for.

Queen Eclipsa:

[sniffing] Oh, that is just so sad… but life’s a bitch kid, you’ll just have to learn to live with it.

Star:

Oh, come on!!! I’ll do anything you want me to do… [makes a puppy face] Pleeease...

Queen Eclipsa:

[moved] Aw, I hate when they make that face. Okay, I’ll tell you what you want to know.

Star:

[standing up] Hooray!

Queen Eclipsa:

However… I want something in return.

Star:

Oh, you want more chocolate bars? No problem, I’ll just take these bars left over here and...

Queen Eclipsa:

I’m not talking about chocolate bars. What I want in return… is to be free.

Hekapoo & Rhombulus:

WHAT?!!!

Queen Eclipsa:

That’s right: no freedom, no secret. Simple as that.

Rhombulus:

Forget about it Eclipsa, princess Butterfly will never agree to set free someone as dangerous as…

[Star grabs Rhombulus arm and uses it to unfreeze Eclipsa’s entire body]

Rhombulus:

Hey, that’s my arm!

Queen Eclipsa:

[giving Star a pat on the head] Now, that’s a good girl, and because I’m a woman of my word, I’ll tell you the secret you want to know...

[Eclipsa whispers the secret on Star’s ear. Star simply gasps as she hears it]

Queen Eclipsa:

And that’s basically all you need to know. Now, If you excuse me: I have some unfinished business I have to attend, so… arrivederci… [flies away]

Rhombulus:

[following her] Hey, get back here… [leaves the scene]

Hekapoo:

So... what did she tell you? Star?

[Star stares into space for a few seconds, then she looks at Hekapoo]

Star:

The wand. We gotta get it back.

MARCO VS. THE FORCES OF LOVE - EPISODE 18: WAKING ECLIPSA

[lanx-reads]

The Blood Diamond Review

Final Rating: ***/***** or 5/10

You’re a Vampire Hunter. Killing Vamps is what you do. No exceptions. Ever... right?

Antoinette Drake never chose her role in life to be that of a Vampire Hunter, yet now her main mission is to quell the misdemeanors of the NYC vampiric underworld. But when a new nightclub is opened by the handsome and notorious vampire Henri Sinclair, she finds herself taking on more than she bargained for.

The last thing Antoinette wants to do is get wrapped up in Henri’s cryptic games, but if she wants to unveil his plans and save her sister’s life at the same time, she might just have to get closer to a vampire than she ever has before...

Even tho @authorrjcity​ is my friend and fellow mutual and writer, I did indeed promise her a 100% brutally honest review of her book. As it stands, I am of course reviewing this as a critique and judging her as an author and nothing else. I also wanna note I am reading somewhat outside my preferred genres to a degree! So that also affects my rating.

Since I am still wading my way through how to write these reviews, I’m gonna try a new tactic that kinda combines my previous review styles. I will be breaking my review into numerous sections: Characters, Plot, World Building, Writing, What I Liked, and lastly, What I Disliked. 

There will be minor spoilers in this review, so just a heads up if you want to read The Blood Diamond spoiler-free! 

Writing:

I want to note that I am not the biggest fan of first person. I find it kinda stiff to both write and read and incredibly limiting. Likewise, I personally think that this book could’ve benefited from a pure third person style rather than sticking with first person. Furthermore, The Blood Diamond did have transitional scenes written in third person due to the fact that information had to be given to the reader and Toni couldn’t be around to narrate it. Personally, I didn’t really much agree with this artistic choice, as it would’ve been much smoother if the entire book stayed in first person, but merely bounced around different heads as needed. 

Minus the issues I had with the POV the writing was decent. I do feel like Toni had too many stock sentences in her narration at times, like “Well, yeah” and “Hmm...” and such that were distracting and could’ve been cut out without changing the story at all. Sometimes Toni had thoughts as if she were talking to the reader, which was also a little distracting at times. 

Another artistic/style choice I didn’t like was the fact that Toni’s direct thoughts weren’t italicized. Instead of being written like [This is a thought, Toni thought.] it was written instead like [This is a thought, Toni thought.] which sometimes made reading her direct thoughts a bit confusing as they ran into the narration. 

The author also uses a lot of epithets and describes eyes as “orbs” a couple of times, which are pet peeves of mine. Nothing inherently wrong with either, but they did ruffle me a little. Another pet peeve of mine that popped up was dropping a Twilight reference. Considering how long ago Twilight was published, I feel it was a bit awkward. I think this sentence could’ve easily just been cut out and replaced with the general “Have you been reading vampire romance novels or something?” as then the sentence would be funny in the sense that its pure irony (though I also have a huge weakness for irony as a plot device so...). 

Lastly, though the book was pretty clean from typos and mistakes in the beginning and the middle, but near the end I counted a lot of mistakes popping up. I only caught one actual misspelled word, but mistakes such as writing an instead of a and using a dash rather than a hyphen did find its way into this book. A couple of other mistakes were some capitalization errors (The Order vs the Order vs the order in describing a political group). 

Now, everything I have stated so far is mainly just. Little pet peeves of mine and things that can be overlooked more or less. However, the one negative aspect of the writing that stuck out like a sore thumb to me was the fact that setting descriptions were rarely, if ever, used. The most description the author used was saying what type of room someone is in, or a club, or a mansion or apartment, or whatever. However, these places weren’t actually ever really described, which sometimes made it hard to visualize certain scenes. The lack of setting descriptions also made certain scenes in the book pass by too quickly. In some places this worked, however in others, I feel the lack of a slowed down pacing did a real disservice to building up tension in some places. 

Characters

There are quite a few characters in this book! I will be talking about the side characters as a whole group to keep it simple, but talk about the main characters individually. 

Toni: 

Toni is easily a main character you will either really enjoy or dislike. She tends to be sarcastic, though not always witty. There are at times inconsistencies with her character, such as the fact that she has destroyed some pretty powerful vampires, but doesn’t seem to be very good at planning ahead and rushes into things at times, which although is a interesting and good flaw for this sort of book, doesn’t match with what we’re told of her being an infamous hunter among vampires. That being said, Toni is overall a really fun character. She has a couple of pretty popular tropes included with her character (such as parents dying via a vampire and such...) but those things didn’t really bother me as I like those tropes well enough. 

Henri:

Henri is a character I can honestly say without a doubt that will become a fan favorite. Broody, though not above mockery, secretive, and dangerous, he employs numerous popular vampire tropes, yet there are scenes in which he inverts them to a degree. He isn’t a good person at all. He’s killed people and is a clear vampire, which is always fun and refreshing to see. Though he is a powerful vampire, he’s also not the most powerful vampire to ever exist or anything. Another part of him I liked is that though he acted like he knew everything and was in control of things, he really wasn’t, and that arrogance in many ways lead to many downfalls for him. He’s a fun character I would love to see more development of. 

Gavin: 

Gavin is Henri’s twin brother and in many ways is the polar opposite. He’s narcissistic, psychopathic, outgoing, and overtly sexual. He’s a genuine asshole and though there are points where he feels a bit like an archetype, overall Gavin, like Henri, will most likely become a fan favorite as well. He has a certain villainous charm to him where every time he pops up, you know some exciting shit is gonna go down, and you’re sitting on the edge of your seat. 

Robert: 

Warning: Major Spoilers

Robert seems to be the Big Bad of this series, but as a big bad, I have to say he is a little underwhelming. His backstory was monologued to us in the climax, which was a little uninteresting. If instead Toni had to slowly uncover the identity of who he was over the course of the book, I feel the plot twist relating to him would’ve been a lot more powerful. He’s described as a pretty stereotypical vampire and besides being evil we really don’t know much about him. He seems to be younger than Gavin or Henri, which makes me wonder as to why he’s a master vampire and their master in the first place. 

Not much of his personality was given, and his motivations seem a little flimsy. Hopefully, the sequel will shed more light on him and flesh him out as a villain more because as of right now, he’s a little bit forgettable. 

Liz: 

Liz is Toni’s younger sister and though she is told to us to be a major part of Toni’s life and her only family left, we really don’t get to see much of her. We get to see her a little bit near the end of the book, and she starts forming a more interesting personality then, but overall we’re left with too little too late due to the plot twist. I do wish she was given more of a chance to breathe and grow, as I feel that fleshing out her character would’ve made the plot twist at the end a lot more weighty and emotional. 

Ethan:

Ethan is Toni’s best friend and fills the roll pretty well for the most part. Though he pops up quite often, he has a pretty general personality and isn’t the most memorable of characters. 

Micah: 

Micah is a side character, but is one of the more interesting ones. Though I do wish to learn more about him as some secrets of his are both exposed and kept under wraps, his personality is a little hard to place. The sort of character roll he fills doesn’t quite match the personality he is given. Though I do wanna learn more about him, as a character he is a little bland besides the roll he is given in the plot. 

The rest of the side characters: 

The rest of the side characters such as Giselle, Melissa, Stephan Church, Hannah, Clary, and the like are a bit of a mixed bag. They have a lot more clear personalities than some of the main or more important cast of side characters and have clear quirks in the way they talk and such. That being said, we really don’t learn much about them, and a couple of these characters do fall into archetypes I am not a huge fan of (such as two of the female characters just kinda being jealous bitches to Toni...) Some of the other side hunter characters, such as Hannah and Clary, are used very sparingly. Hannah, who is a faerie, only really pops up in the beginning and end of the book while Clary is mentioned briefly in the beginning, then finally gets a little screen time at the end. 

Considering how big this cast of characters is, I do hope that all these side characters are given more development in the sequels to come. 

Overall, the characters weren’t too bad! A little bit of a mixed bag- some were quite interesting while others less so. The only real issue I had was some of the names of the characters being a little out of place. Such as an age-old vampire being named Andrew, for instance, and I personally wouldn’t have called the Big Bad Robert of all things (unless that’s purposely done to be a bit comical, tho Toni never finds his name a little funny...) Despite the little inconsistencies in character naming, and in some characters in general, they overall worked well for this sort of book and plot and were fun to read about overall! 

Plot 

The plot is a little difficult to describe, if I am being honest, as the plot drifts quite a bit in this book. Sometimes, it’s really focused and other times, not so much. I would say its a mystery, but there is little foreshadowing and the mysteries themselves aren’t touched upon and after a while, become quite vague, leaving you a bit confused. 

Overall, the story is about Toni trying to bust The Blood Diamond and the vampires within it for illegally turning humans while also trying to figure out who the master vampire is, who is the one pulling all the strings and causing the violence in the first place. Unfortunately, this plot is dropped pretty quickly and instead, the subplot of Toni and Henri’s relationship and him Marking her takes over for a good chunk of the book.

I think one of the biggest weaknesses of the plot is its reliance on the readers to understand the world building and how this system of vampire hunters work. However, this system isn’t given a lot of screen time and at times, the plot (and world building itself) gets muddied. There are many places where I feel like if the world building had been fleshed out a bit more, it would’ve helped the plot a lot. Such as why doesn’t Toni, and by extension everyone else, know who the master vampire is? Why are certain vampires not archived in the system? Though the latter is brought up at one point, it’s not really touched upon, and I personally felt that it could’ve been part of the overarching story and a puzzle piece of the mystery this book was trying to build. 

At times, the overarching plot of the book felt a little everywhere, and thus when the climax at the end happened, it wasn’t quite as powerful as it could’ve been.

Furthermore, the pacing was a little odd. The book was a fast read for sure, but in places it needed to slow down, it didn’t, which led to it not being as emotional as it could’ve been. 

There are also a couple of scenes I feel could’ve been cut out. 

I also want to note that this book does not end with a clear stop. Not everything is wrapped up whatsoever, and thus, this book by itself is an incomplete story. This isn’t a negative point or a bad thing at all! It’s just how this book is written and set up. A lot is built up for the sequel. 

Though this book never felt “plot-less” by any means, the plot never felt like the focus of the book either, and instead felt muddied and a bit vague. However, I think this is less the plot’s fault, and more of the fact that the book could’ve been a bit longer to accommodate some changes and that the world building could’ve been fleshed out more to give definition to the plot elements present. 

World building 

Out of everything in The Blood Diamond, I think the world building is its weakest aspect. Though these is no infodumping, which is always a good thing, the author also doesn’t really give us a chance to learn about the world. Since Toni already knows about the world more or less, she doesn’t explain much, so you’re basically thrown in and hope you can hang onto the information that’s thrown at you. 

Furthermore, there are points in The Blood Diamond where I think not everything was thought through. How does the Agency keep vampires and other supernatural creatures hidden? Vampires themselves aren’t discreet and there are numerous times where there are “supernaturals only” places around. It’s never explained if they are hidden or if normal humans are compelled to not enter via magic. Furthermore, if the Agency has to tell family of the victims of vampires of the supernatural world, how has the truth not gotten out yet? And also especially with all this taken place in the modern world and a densely packed city, how have vampires, or other supernaturals, avoided being caught on tape or anything? 

The Agency seems a bit small for the setting as well and at times, a bit unprofessional. The entire system of this government isn’t explained the best either. The Agency is what I suppose are like cops while The Order is closer to something akin to the FBI I am guessing, but it isn’t exactly clear. The Agency also seems to work as the judge, jury, and the police, which gets even more confusing and doesn’t fit in with how America is run as a country either.

Vampires and their powers are also not that well explained. Other supernatural creatures, such as werewolves and witches, are mentioned but not touched upon at all or fleshed out, making them feel more like an afterthought. 

There is also a scene midway into The Blood Diamond with some mermaids in the NYC rivers. Though there were a lot of cool ideas in this scene, the scene itself felt completely and utterly pointless to the rest of the book and felt more like something in there for a sequel or to try and world build a bit more. However, the world building should’ve been tied into the plot. If less of the plot had been on Henri Marking Toni and more focused on fleshing out the plot, the world building could’ve gone along with that, and overall both world building and the plot could’ve been a lot stronger.  

What I Liked 

I know that it sounded like I didn’t like this book with how much negativity is in this review! But trust me, there is plenty I enjoyed about this book as well, and I will list out everything I did enjoy in this section below!

I enjoyed Toni’s narration and her character.

Henri and Toni’s romance was interesting.

I really enjoyed the powers we did see from the vampires. Some of them were very unique.

Hannah. Just. Hannah was adorable I enjoyed her a lot! 

A lot of the names in this book I liked too. Such as The Blood Diamond and La Luna and such! 

A fast-paced and quick read overall, which is pretty good! 

Toni staking vampires was always a fun treat to read about.

Giselle. She was great. Like I said, there are a lot of side characters to enjoy here. 

Woman friendship between Toni and Clary at the end was fun. Though it stuck out a little, I did like that the author confirmed that Toni was bi/pan and that Clary is at least, not straight either. 

The plot twist, though it had its problems, was good in theory. 

I enjoyed the idea behind Marking as well as compulsion. 

Actual forensic science was used in a scene near the end, which was a pleasant surprise in a book such as this. 

Though I did mention a couple of pointless scenes, the pointless scenes themselves were at least interesting to read even though they went nowhere. There weren’t any slow paced, snore-fest parts, which is good. 

The print itself in the book was pretty big, which was easy on the eyes for me. 

I think this book, if just read as a piece of light entertainment with vampires and mystery, is great. 

Honestly, I really did enjoy reading another vampire book again. I haven’t in a while, so it was fun to go back to reading vampire fiction. 

Near the end had some showing of Toni working with some other hunters on what seemed to be pretty standard run-of-the-mill cases, and that was really fun to read about. 

What I Disliked 

The stuff listed here are further nitpicks that personally made me cock my head to the side. Nothing major enough to discuss in the above sections, however. 

Too many teenagers in things like clubs. Unless you’re counting 18 year olds as teenagers, then I guess it fits, but I found it a little distracting. 

It seemed like only women were the victims of vampire attacks all through this book. It kinda rubbed me the wrong way. 

At times, Henri and Toni’s romance squicked me out, especially there is a point where he feeds on her without her consent and the fact he does assault her. That being said, he does apologize for the feeding from her and admits he it was wrong and though its a little vague, it’s explained he was being controlled by the Mark, just like Toni was. The assault, though it does rub me the wrong way, makes sense as he was defending himself against her. 

Some of the descriptors at times felt a little cliche, such as “raven-black hair.” 

Toni’s supposed infamy for being a badass vampire hunter usually didn’t match up to her as she actually acted in the field. 

Near the end of the book, Toni was knocked unconscious about three times, including once during an action scene. I was a little annoyed at this. 

There was no explanation how any sort of “clean up” was done after vampire attacks. There didn’t seem to be a protocol, which mixed me up. 

A lot of the timing of events felt off to me.

Dream/nightmare sequences were used to tell us Toni’s backstory. I feel like this could’ve been woven into the actual story and narration, as the way the nightmares were written didn’t feel natural or convincing. 

I wish there was more of a focus on the supernatural creatures and how they work cases. 

The slang for vampires at times seemed a bit childish and random. In one sentence, Toni will think of them as purely “vampires” and the next, they’d be call “vamps” or “blood suckers.” 

Final verdict

The Blood Diamond is pretty middle of the road for me and sits at a 3/5 stars, which basically means “good” to me. The rating of 5/10 also matches this. The Blood Diamond has its problems, but if you can look past those, and are looking for a fun and light piece of entertainment, it may fit what you’re looking for. 

What really knocked off those two stars were the world building issues, the muddy plot (that romance took over), and some of the writing issues I had stated above. 

That being said, a lot is promised in the sequel, and I do hope the sequel gives us readers world building, a better crafted mystery, a more focused plot, and details our established characters a bit more. I would definitely rec this book to people who enjoy vampire books and miss reading them and those a fan of YA and tired of the dystopian genre currently being passed around. 

***/***** or 5/10

[robonomics]

Robinhood vs. Wall Street

Yesterday, social media and the news was full of thoughts about the stock market. It all had to do with shares of GameStop and what happened with it over the last couple weeks.

GameStop is pretty clearly in a shitty situation as a going concern. It’s has billions in sales, but hasn’t had a profit in a couple years. Unless it changes it’s brick and mortar business model will cease to exist. It’s main business is game sales after all: just a piece of software that can be digitally transmitted. As a result, the shares have been heavily shorted by tons of hedge funds, making it one of the most shorted stocks on the Street.

Many retail, or mom and pop investors, didn’t see the picture that way. Some even thought that bringing on a new member to its Board, a guy originally from an online pet supplies company called Chewy, would revamp the model back toward profitability. They started making bullish bets, both buying the stock and placing call options. Nothing unique here. Then they went and sold their idea like a salesman on a popular Reddit forum for traders call wallstreetbets. Again, nothing unique here. However, something was different this time about this particular idea. It actually caught on. It then lead to a short squeeze for the hedge funds. What’s that? A short squeeze is where a short position loses (the price of the stock went up), and the seller of the short position has to buy out stock at a higher price than they expected because the options contract ended and they have to deliver shares to the person they borrowed the shares from. Just like that, the little guy outplayed the big guy. It may have had something to do with the fundamentals.

But this is where things went awry. That wallstreetbets forum at some point figured out that if they collectively work together and place tons of call options and buy shares of the stock, it would continue for force another short squeeze come the next Friday expiration (options always expire on Fridays for whatever time period they last, whether weeks or months). Because the stock was so heavily shorted, unlike most other stocks out there on the market, it wouldn’t take much pushing up of the price in order to create a snowball effect. More sinisterly, the faceless, nameless people using Reddit openly talked about how they wanted to manipulate the stock in order to force another short squeeze. Then another. Then another. Unlike normal market manipulation, where a single or small number of people with large leverage push their weight in order to drive a stock’s price one way or another, this was being done by a huge number of little guys. And they weren’t being quiet or tacit about it. They blatantly said what they were doing.

The price of GameStop’s stock went from $17/share on the first day of trading in January to $347/share by January 27th. Nothing at all changed about the fundamentals or information pertaining to the company’s future performance in this time. Sure, maybe some investors became aware of the information about the stock that they didn’t know before. Hey, who’s looking at GameStop on a normal day anyways? But we’re not blind, and the Reddit forum wasn’t quiet about it either. This was pure and unabashed market manipulation. Not even speculation! Just flat out pump and dump. Seeing how high the wave can ride and get out before it crashes.

In the last two days, broker trading platforms, like mine at TD Ameritrade, put a stop to trading in GameStop and various other “meme stock” securities, the group of heavily shorted positions favored by people on the wallstreetbets forum. Volatility was too high to deal with, and I suspect they are worried regulators will soon be down their backs for allowing it to happen, given the high risk that mom and pop investors lose it all, and possibly then some, when the bubble eventually bursts. The brokerages took a beating yesterday for it. The target of all the outrage was Robin Hood, a relatively new brokerage app that is popular with Millennials and retail investors. It’s reputation is for hosting mostly unsophisticated investors attracted by the ease of the platform’s design, making it easy to buy and sell stocks, and importantly options, with zero commission fees. People on the Street refer to stocks popular on the platform as “Robin Hood stocks”, a snub at the stupidity of the cheap investment that only gains in price because of retail investors buying name brands that they know, completely detached from the fundamentals of the company’s future earnings prospects (Hertz, airlines, Nokia... GameStop). I understand that I now sound like a Wall Street snob without the income to back it, but after 20 years of researching stocks and understanding how they work, the analogy to ignorant investors during the Dot Com bubble of the late 90′s and early 2000′s shows why Robin Hood stocks are named with such disdain.

Anyways, retail investors, and populist political pundits were pissed that Robin Hood halted trading. (Robin Hood specifically halted buy or call orders, but not sell orders, which is a fair criticism, but that’s not the main focus of the outrage). The reason: this was the little guy getting even with the big guy, and the so called democratizing force in trading, Robin Hood, caved to the evil hedge funds. While I certainly love a David win over Goliath, this is not the same, at least there isn’t publicly known proof or evidence yet to confirm the suspicions. First off, people who can afford to trade in options tend to be well capitalized given all the margin requirements necessary. Sure, they are still a retail investor, but they aren’t struggling for cash to begin with. So David is usually doing fine financially to begin with, even though he isn’t even close to as big as Goliath.

Outside the comfortable lifestyle most of the traders likely already have, it’s not clear why the particular Goliaths they went after were targeted. Citadel, Citron, Melvin Capital, and the other hedge funds that lost billion from this appear to be grouped together as bad simply because they are hedge funds. What did they specifically do? Well, they are accused of a host of things, but none seem to be specific to them, just to hedge funds generally. It’s an attack on their status. Now I’ve hear a few accusations about these hedge funds, Citadel in particular, front-running orders; that is, having a buy or sell order sent to them to broker a deal for, but then doing the exact order request for themselves and then doing it for the order that was placed with them in order to take an extra cut of money on top of the bid/ask spread they get for commission from their market making activities. Confused? Look it up. Anyways, they are accused of front-running, which is illegal. They were even fined for it in the past by regulators ($700,000 for what I expect was a lot more in profits). Citadel is certainly not playing fairly. They are an evil goliath. The others, I don’t really know, and have not researched too far into.

What I mostly see though, is public justification for one bad act because of the past bad acts of another (Citadel), or another group (hedge funds generally). The little guy got it’s chance to attack the big guy for all the years of its parasitic behavior. And while I don’t have too much sympathy for the goliath hedge funds in this story, I don’t likewise think the traders here are members of the Boston Tea Party. Why is it bad when a goliath manipulates the market, but not when a group of small investors do it? Is it just because of the concentration of wealth? I assume it has to do with the redistributing effects of wealth from the goliaths to the victorious Davids, but the story hasn’t quite ended. The manipulation will eventually stop it’s momentum, and once it does, the people who will be hurt most are the late comer mom and pop retail investors who can’t get rid of their losing shares quick enough. Then the wealth transfer ends up benefiting only the early arrivers, but screws over all the late players to the game. Hell, there’s a good chance that hedge fund will be able to spot the top better and place put orders magnifying their gains on the crazy volatility in the shares. So in the end, it may just be ignorant Robin Hood investors who get screwed because the smarter small players fixed the game to their advantage.

How’s that for democratizing trading? On that point, the whole idea that Robin Hood was wrong for stoping trading because of it’s goal to “democratize trading” is stupid. Robin Hood is new to the game in the brokerage industry. Fidelity, Charles Schwab, TD Ameritrade, etc. have all been around for decades. Just because a new player entered the market with a slogan to democratize trading doesn’t mean they did anything revolutionary. In fact, the only thing they did of note was be the first to introduce free trades. Otherwise, everything they do has existed for years. Marketing to millennials better than the existing firms doesn’t mean you’ve democratized Wall Street, it just means you’ve gotten more people to join the club than previously existed. And the club was open to anybody to begin with! So the cries about how they halted trading is anti-democratizing wall street is dumb. To me, it’s a fair attempt to pull the punch bowl as the party gets going to prevent the sloppiness and ensuing hangover the fun lovers have blinded themselves to in the heat of the party.

But we will see how things go in the coming days. I could be wrong.

I��m most interested to see what the SEC and DOJ do with this. Market manipulation is illegal. But is it really market manipulation if a large group acts? Sure, there is always a tidbit of truth to the original decision to buy or sell an eventually price manipulated stock, but we know this wasn’t fundamentals driven trading. But how do you go after a group of nameless, faceless user names in a chat room who’s identities are potentially difficult to come by? There’s a strong chance that silent observers of the Reddit forum got in on the action, so how do you know if they tacitly agreed to the collect action or not? Importantly, how do we stop this from happening again? It may make it scarier for short sellers to pile so heavily into stocks in the future knowing that a group of mischievous investors working together can force a massive snowballing short squeeze on small stocks with relatively low trading volume.

I wouldn’t care so much about this event (so what, a bunch of hedge funds lost billions; I’m not particularly upset). But the strong favorable reaction towards blatant market manipulators upsets me. One bad act is not remedied by another bad act. Two wrongs don’t make a right. That whole thing. I think people have conveniently blinded themselves to what happened because of how good the story of the little guy beating the big guys sounds. But in this case, the little guy is also doing a wrong thing. So they shouldn’t be celebrated, encouraged, and heralded for it. After all, they were simply acting in a way that made them rich, for all the convenient societal righteousness they may claim. But alas, maybe they see themselves as modern day Robin Hoods (even though the “poor” they’re giving to happen to be themselves).

I’m sure there will be cool interesting articles that come out of this event in the future. Maybe even a sweet documentary or episode in a mini series. I’m eagerly awaiting to see what they have to say, especially from an author who actually understands how stocks work and can explain what’s happening from anything but a politicized view.

[ceescedasticity]

Scedasticity’s ofic family kudzu master post

(mostly so i can keep track of who’s shown up... wow this is longer than I was expecting)

“The Aquitaine Incident” (trigger warning)

Cathal Faerbaen

Gebhard Schwarzwald’s Dysfunctional Family

Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About (trigger warning)

Chernobog and Avdotya’s Reign of Terror (trigger warning)

Belenes-Elgezabal Gascony Feud

Tenth-Century Greenland

Decline and Fall of the de Lares Montium

The Faerbaens vs. British Politics

Egle Wolflin vs. Her Siblings’ Love-Lives

The Schwarzwald Bargain

al-Djinni

Alfven

Asuryas

Belenes (Complete Belenes tree)

Coppenal

di Larsmontim / de Lares Montium / other variations

Faerbaen

Felices

ha-Nef

Koszcey

Llyrion (Complete Llyrion tree)

Oshunmare

Schwarzwald

Tuathdan

Wolflin

DARRAS AL-DJINNI AL-ANDALUS b. 956: Started a fight but it never did get violent (Decline and Fall of the de Lares Montium, postlude)

KASIF AL-DJINNIYYAH b. 900: Really that would be enough to make anyone leave (Decline and Fall of the de Lares Montium, 3/5)

AMINA AL-ZAHRA b. 740: Was peripherally connected to the Aquitaine Incident but her notes aren’t really about that so I’m mostly sure I didn’t include her there…

IDHUNN ALFVEN b. 821: This situation is unacceptable so let’s blame EVERYBODY (“The Aquitaine Incident”, 6/6)

SEREJS ALFVEN b. 896: The Alfvens go to Eastern Europe! Okay, actually that was his dad, Serejs was born there.

VALBRAND ALFVEN: I mean if you want to be charitable he wasn’t taught not to (“The Aquitaine Incident”, 3/6)

VALDÍS ALFVEN b. 960: Xenophobia cannot defeat the lure of discovery and lucrative intercontinental smuggling (Tenth-Century Greenland, ¼ probably)

VIDHARR ALFVEN b. 960: Not the most knowledgeable tour guide ever… (Tenth-Century Greenland, 3/4 probably)

BELATZ ANJANAS: Fortunately Faery realm social politics aren’t free of groundless rumormongering, either, so he probably wasn’t caught totally off guard

MANISH ASURYAS b. 1750: It could also have been better

PERIYANACCI ASURYAS b. 1288: Politics? Carefully calculated appearance calibration? *bats eyelashes* Me?

SUDARSHAN ASURYAS b. 1778: It was worth a shot, anyway.

ALIBERTA BELENES: The Vikings were QUITE bad enough, the whole mortal virginity obsession thing was NOT needed (“The Aquitaine Incident”, 2/6)

AURÉLIE BELENES b. 1958: Seriously Aurélie you’re a strong enough Faeblood thirty is barely STARTING your prime

DENIS BELENES b. 1262 and MARGUERITE DE PROVINS: tbh she’s the one the entry’s about (The Belenes-Elgezabal Gascony Feud, 5/7)

DONAR BELENES: Angry; grieving; hurt; NOT HELPING (“The Aquitaine Incident, 4/6)

ESTIENNE BELENES b. 1231: Aaaaaand not just arguing. (Belenes-Elgezabal Gascony Feud, 4/7)

GENEVIEVE BELENES b. 1751: It just. Wasn’t her country or her cause.

GILBERT BELENES b. 1040 and ELFLEDA SILVATICA: Gilbert we’re trying to be STRATEGIC here

GUILLAUME BELENES b. 1198: Arguing… (Belenes-Elgezabal Gascony Feud, 2/7)

KEMEN BELENES b. 851 and THORKATLA ALFVEN b. 850: Making peace, 28 years after “the Aquitaine Incident”

MAXIMILIEN BELENES b. 1777: Probably got written off as stupid more than he should have (also Marie Mercier)

REGINHARD BELENES b. 982: He probably could have regained more functionality if he’d gone to Thalassan or Gahn Nef for help but he had other things to do

THERESE BELENES b. 986: RUDE, Liban, very rude

THIERRY BELENES, 1165-1203: He really can’t be blamed for the cover story, having been dead at the time

CORNELIA COPPENAL b. 1874: Maker of questionable race-related designer baby choices & igniter of ensuing controversy

DIEDERIK COPPENAL b. 1799: You may notice some verbatim overlap with Linnet, sorry

DIEDERIK COPPENAL b. 1954: No, really (read after Hubrecht)

HUBRECHT COPPENAL b. 1909: [cue up video of that person in the bird of paradise costume doing the display dance]

ULRIKA-MARIE COPPENAL b. 1846: Enough is enough, sheesh

GAIUS DE LARES MONTIUM: Had a good idea, but it sort of backfired on him (Decline and Fall of the de Lares Montium, actually 2/5)

MARIA DE LARES MONTIUM b. 929: Also noping… (Decline and Fall of the de Lares Montium, 5/5)

PANDOLFINUS DE LARES MONTIUM a.k.a. BUNDAR AL-DJINNI b. 925: Yeah, he’s noping out of this trainwreck. (Decline and Fall of the de Lares Montium, 4/5)

PANDOLFUS DE LARES MONTIUM b. 871: The de Lares Montium family is not doing so hot (Decline and Fall of the de Lares Montium, 1/5)

LYNDWEN DE MYRDDIN: As someone more than half Faery, who lives in the Faery realm, but with significant human ancestry, Lyndwen is a Mortal-blood. The de Myrddins are a Mortal-blood family.

NEREUS DE MYRDDIN: …Ooops?

PERSEPHONE DE MYRDDIN: Possibly born sometime in the eighteenth century? It’s really hard to tell sometimes.

ELLEN DEXTER: AWKWARD. (The Faerbaens Bet Too Much On British Politics, 5/8)

FULGENZIO DI LARSMONTIM b. 1904: There are… multiple reasons, not all of them covered here, most people are happy to embrace a joke on Fulgenzio

VESPASIANO DI LARSMONTIM: The weird apostrophes seem not to show up on my actual blog!

VITTORIA DI LARSMONTIM b. 1941: Cornelia this is all your fault (okay not really)

ALDONTZA ELGEZABAL b. 1530: Cut your losses and go on

ARGIÑE ELGEZABAL b. 1165: Arguing… (Belenes-Elgezabal Gascony Feud, 3/7)

BASAJAUN ELGEZABAL b. 1299: It was his idea (The end of the Felices, 3/5)

BIKENDI ELGEZABAL b. 1323: Most likely little if any of it was his idea (The end of the Felices, 2/5)

EKAITZ ELGEZABAL b. 1265: Didn’t start it, but REALLY wanted to finish it (and not like this) (Belenes-Elgezabal Gascony Feud, 6/7)

LOPEITZA ELGEZABAL b. 1565: A lot of expectations, but not as many as Llewella, since no one was expecting her to go retake the nonexistent stronghold

NAHIA, KOLDOBIKA, and AINTZANE ELGEZABAL: There’s probably more that could be written about them and hasn’t been (The end of the Felices, 5/5)

NEKANE ELGEZABAL b. 1349: Could have officially become Nekane Felices, if other families hadn’t gotten suspicious of her father (The end of the Felices, 4/5)

URRACA ELGEZABAL b. 1530: Not the irresponsible twin per se, but certainly the more exciting one

ADAIR ELPHINSTONE b. 1710: Not the first or the last Elphinstone to be a little too emphatic about the family’s minor status, but one of the best remembered

LINNET ELPHINSTONE b. 1799: How ya gonna keep ‘em, down on the farm…

ANEIRIN FAERBAEN b. 1642 and CAOIMHE TUATHDAN b. 1652: It’s pronounced “Keavy”. I think.

ANGHARAD FAERBAEN b. 1614: DAMMIT. (The Faerbaens Bet Too Much On British Politics, 9/8: They do NOT bet too much but still get burned)

BRANWEN FAERBAEN b. 1328: DAMMIT. (The Faerbaens Bet Too Much On British Politics, 4/8)

CARYS FAERBAEN b. 1714: Just came out to have a good time and is… definitely having a good time

CATHAL FAERBAEN: But he WASN’T an evil sorcerer!

CERIDWEN FAERBAEN b. 1271: She’s not asking you, she’s telling you (The Faerbaens Bet Too Much On British Politics, 3/8) 

GLENYS FAERBAEN b. 1204: Dammit. (The Faerbaens Bet Too Much On British Politics, 1/8)

GWILYM FAERBAEN: You really can’t blame him. (The Faerbaens Bet Too Much On British Politics, 2/8)

IORWERTH FAERBAEN b. 1745: Some people aren’t cut out for parenting really

LÍADAN FAERBAEN: Beating people up in continental Europe was supposed to be her father’s thing (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 13/22)

LLEWELLA FAERBAEN b. 1403: Had a lot of expectations to deal with (The Faerbaens Bet Too Much On British Politics, 7/8)

LOWELL FAERBAEN: Also a lot of expectations (The Faerbaens Bet Too Much On British Politics, 8/8)

RHODRY FAERBAEN b. 1581: As long as I’ve got the tree handy…

ENRIC FELICES b. 1241: Just the arbitrator (Belenes-Elgezabal Gascony Feud, 7/actually 7 it turns out)

EULALIA FELICES b. 1330: It definitely sucked to be her, it’s not clear how much of that was her husband’s fault (The end of the Felices, 1/5)

FERRAN FELICES b. 799: Not helping and also not really invited (“The Aquitaine Incident”, 5/6)

ALAINNE and SUSANE FILSELFE: They did TRY to get things settled. (Belenes-Elgezabal Gascony Feud, 1/7)

ELGIVA FREWER b. 1725: Even most first-generation halfbloods end up at least materially comfortable, Faery do that much to provide, buuuut sometimes someone slips through the cracks. They often make it through on Faery-fueled luck and charisma anyway.

LIUDVIKA GIEDRIUS b. 1784: Back to an actual Koszcey-by-blood this time, not that it’s advisable to call her that (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 17/22)

MARIOTA GYLDENHELS: Right, but also English. (The Faerbaens bet too much on British politics, 6/8)

LEAH HA-NEF b. 1825: least foot-draggy of the big damn heroes (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 15/22)

SCOLASTER HA-NEF b. 1308 and IBRAHIM BEN ELIJAH: One tragedy among many, but it always stings more when you think you could have stopped it

IRUNE, IZAR, ILUNTSO, and IZOTZ ITURRIZA b. 1635, 1636, 1637, and 1638: The kids didn’t do anything wrong… I mean we can’t be 100% sure ANYONE did anything wrong, it just really looks that way

KAMINOJISOU MINORU b. 1749: He… presumably had his reasons…?

AFANASI KOSZCEY “THE PREVIOUS” Part 1, born in original body sometime before 1590, died for real in 1805 (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 1/22)

AFANASI KOSZCEY “THE PREVIOUS” Part 2, born in original body sometime before 1590, died for good in 1805: he was bad before and now he’s worse (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 6/22)

AFANASI KOSZCEY b. 1757: the original one, as in not the body-stealer (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 5/22)

AFANASI KOSZCEY b. 1790 “THE NEXT-TO-LAST”: Really dodged a bullet on the whole body-getting-stolen thing (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 7/22)

AFANASI KOSZCEY b. 1859 “THE LAST”: Problematic, but at least not blatantly terrible? (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 21/22)

AVDOTYA KOSZCEY: Afanasi the Previous wanted immortality, but no one quite knows what Avdotya wanted (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 10/22)

CHERNOBOG KOSZCEY: I mean when you’re named Chernobog it’s understandable if you feel your career goals are limited (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 11/22)

MATRONA KOSZCEY a.k.a. MATRONA WOLFLIN a.k.a. MATRONA GINTAROVA: sometimes you just have to walk away, and also there’s a story behind her marriage but I don’t know what it is (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 3/22)

MISC KOSZCEYS: Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 22/22

MORANA KOSZCEY b. 1813: It may have kind of sucked to be her, but it’s really hard to tell how much (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 18/22)

MSTISLAV KOSZCEY: Should probably get more credit than he does for being a normal person (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 19/22)

RUSALKA KOSZCEY: nothing funny to say here sadly (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 8/22)

VASILISSA KOSZCEY: The one everyone likes (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 9/22)

BEATRIX LESLIE b. 1860: Or Underwood, really, but she kept using Leslie despite her estrangement from her father, so…

ANCAMNA LLYRION b. 1310: Not here to reprimand the entire country of England for you, Vespasien

ASHERAT LLYRION b. 1595: Would almost certainly have been able to veto it if she tried (The Llyrions Marry Everyone, in no particular order, 2/13?)

BRANWEN LLYRION b. 781: Did not ask to deal with Viking-related family feud/diplomatic incident and yet here we are (“The Aquitaine Incident”, 1/?)

BRANWEN LLYRION b. 1105 and MARAJIL AL-DJINNIYYAH b. 1110: Worked out pretty well (The Llyrions Marry Everyone, in no particular order, 8/13?)

CERNUN LLYRION b. 1349 and SABINE BELENES b. 1355: Probably not arranged as such (The Llyrions Marry Everyone, now shifting into approximately chronological order but we’ll see, 11/13?)

CERNUN LLYRION b. 1532 and DEIRDRE TUATHDAN b. 1537: Yes, everyone’s thinking it, but you don’t need to SAY it… (The Llyrions Marry Everyone, 13/many possible others but most of them aren’t as interesting)

CORDELIA LLYRION b. 1522: Because it was there

DYLAN LLYRION b. 1038 and PERIYANACCI ASURYAS b. 1042: Best remembered for Periyanacci’s writing. (The Llyrions Marry Everyone, in no particular order, 9/13?)

FAND AND LIBAN LLYRION b. 969: Major Faeblood families – worryingly powerful mages negotiating delicate alliances or backbiting rumormongers?

LIBAN LLYRION b. 1260 and PIRAMARAYAN ASURYAS b. 1258: Everyone is a little on edge (The Llyrions Marry Everyone, in no particular order, 5/13?)

LLEW LLYRION b. 728 and FINNA ALFVEN: Vikings. Yep. (The Llyrions Marry Everyone, in no particular order, 4/13?)

MANAWYDAN LLYRION b. 1107 and RHIANNON FAERBAEN b. 1106: Not really a dynastic marriage exactly since there was no Faerbaen family prior to this… getting in on the ground floor maybe? (The Llyrions Marry Everyone, in no particular order, 7/13?)

MANNANON LLYRION b. 1251 and CHECHEGENE SHOLMOJIN b. 1264: SPEAKING of nonaggression pact marriages… (The Llyrions Marry Everyone, in no particular order, 10/13?)

NIAMH LLYRION b. 1681: Strong Faebloods+industrialization=:(

NJORD LLYRION b. 644: A Llyrion really should have known better

PONTUS LLYRION b. 1558: It was the timing that was unusual, really. (The Llyrions Marry Everyone, in no particular order, 1/13?)

RAN LLYRION b. 905 and KAMIL AL-DJINNI b. 902: It was a tense couple of centuries in the Mediterranean. (The Llyrions Marry Everyone, in no particular order, 6/13?)

RUSALKA LLYRION b. 1727: as far as anyone can tell she never actually knew anything shady was going on (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 4/22)

THETIS LLYRION b. 750 and ADALBERT BELENES: You may remember Thetis from the Aquitaine Incident (The Llyrions Marry Everyone, in no particular order, 3/13?)

THETIS LLYRION b. 1454 and STEVEN WELHAM: I really don’t have any interesting information about these two unless I want to get into why a Faerbaen descendant is a Welham, which ties into the whole Second Faerbaen Lost Cause Incident… (The Llyrions Marry Everyone, 12/13)

AYOKUNLE OSHUNMARE b. 1815: This reeeeeally wasn’t his problem but he helped out anyway (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 14/22)

YEWANDE OSHUNMARE b. 1787: What?

ISIDORA PETRONOV b. 1914: Whoops just kidding here’s Alexei’s grandmother (Egle Wolflin vs. her siblings’ love-lives, 6/5: tangentially related)

KATERINA PETRONOV b. 1794: She on the other hand definitely appreciated how many metaphorical bullets she narrowly dodged

VLADIMIR PETRONOV b. 1798: Not sure he ever really appreciated how many metaphorical bullets he narrowly avoided

AGAFYA PETROVA: Fully aware what a trainwreck of a family she was marrying into but did it anyway <3 (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 20/22)

ALBRECHT SCHWARZWALD b. 1574: I don’t think anyone would blame him… except probably his brother and nephew

ALBRECHT SCHWARZWALD b. 1781: Being the long-awaited son isn’t really a picnic either (Gebhard Schwarzwald’s Dysfunctional Family, 5/8)

ALBRECHT SCHWARZWALD b. 1982: It would have been a hard choice except it was the only thing he could live with

BERGELMIR SCHWARZWALD b. 1747: The GOOD Sieghard continues to earn his reputation as the good one

CÄCILIA SCHWARZWALD b. 1781: Someone in this family has to be responsible and not spite-driven (Gebhard Schwarzwald’s Dysfunctional Family, 7/8)

CLAUS SCHWARZWALD b. 1908: I feel bad for him but he really shouldn’t have done that

GEBHARD SCHWARZWALD b. 1736: But he just wanted a soooooooon (with bonus fully-human wives #1 and #2) (Gebhard Schwarzwald’s Dysfunctional Family, 1/8)

GERDA SCHWARZWALD b. 1604: Okay but where was this technique 150 years later when Gebhard was obsessing about it?

GISELA SCHWARZWALD b. 1689: It really was a very well-strategized exit

GUNTHER SCHWARZWALD b. 1869: Would he have approved of the stuff his sons got the family into after he died? No. Would he have managed to stop them had be been alive? Also no.

HILTRAUD SCHWARZWALD: Vindictive? That sweet, proper maiden aunt? (Gebhard Schwarzwald’s Dysfunctional Family, 2/8)

INGEBORG SCHWARZWALD b.1775: Not irresponsible or spite-driven but did kind of nope her way out of all the drama (Gebhard Schwarzwald’s Dysfunctional Family, 8/8)

IRMGARD SCHWARZWALD b. 1775: Find her picture under ‘well-behaved women seldom make history’ (Gebhard Schwarzwald’s Dysfunctional Family, 4/8)

KRIEMHILDE SCHWARZWALD b. 1967: Thanks to her nephew it turned out not to be an issue but she had every reason to worry

LEONHARD SCHWARZWALD b. 1810: For some reason this guy always strikes me as more boring than I think he really is?

ODILIA SCHWARZWALD: Leaving the continent was probably not a bad idea (Gebhard Schwarzwald’s Dysfunctional Family, 3/8)

OTTO SCHWARZWALD b. 1545: It’s not ALL his fault, just… a lot of it 

SIEGHARD SCHWARZWALD b. 1711: The GOOD Sieghard

SIEGHARD SCHWARZWALD b. 1841: The BAD Sieghard

ULRIKA SCHWARZWALD b. 1784: Baby of the family (Gebhard Schwarzwald’s Dysfunctional Family, 6/8)

WIBEKE SCHWARZWALD b. 1769: Got left out of the ‘Gebhard Schwarzwald’s Dysfunctional Family’ sequence because it required too much Koszcey background, but wasn’t significant enough to make it into the Koszcey sequence

NERISSA SIBLEY b. 1966: It’s like finding out you’re a lost princess, but with extra embarrassing family curse and a really inconvenient iron sensitivity

HONOVI SOYOKAI b. 1832: …Apparently the Western Oshunmares just don’t make very good in-laws? Excellent friends and allies, just really annoying in-laws.

ARWELA SWAIXWE b. 962: All that studying was good for something (Tenth-Century Greenland, 2/4 probably)

NORSAQ SWAIXWE b. 959: Presumably had some sort of alias while pretending to be Spanish or Russian, but I’m not sure what it was (Tenth-Century Greenland, 4/4 probably)

TANEMGHURT TAYYURT b. 1068: When alliance matches go bad

CUSIRIMAY TERRAZES b. 1804: IN-LAWS

MALINTZIN TIACAPAN b. 1744: I should probably decide whether or not she was a first-generation halfblood…

DEIRDRE TUATHDAN b. 1179: Reacted prudently, unlike SOME people.

FIONNGHUALA AND FIONNTAN TUATHDAN b. 1950: Seriously it’s not strange at all

DOROTA VONDRACEK b. 1956: She wasn’t blameless in the marriage falling apart, just less of an asshole during the divorce (Egle Wolflin vs. her siblings’ love lives, 3/5)

ALEXEI VYSHINSKI b. 1961: You could say QUITE A LOT about the eccentricities and interpersonal problems of his parents and grandparents but luckily for them that’s not our point just now (Egle Wolflin vs. Her Siblings’ Love-Lives, 5/5)

SOPHIA WELLS b. 1968: NO, not Desideria.

AUDRA WOLFLIN b. 1963: She wasn’t expecting joy, but she wasn’t expecting this bad a reaction either. (Egle Wolflin vs. her siblings’ love lives, 4/5)

AUGUSTINAS WOLFLIN b. 1957: He could have handled that better (Egle Wolflin Vs. Her Siblings’ Love-Lives, 2/5)

AZUOLAS WOLFLIN b. 1839: not surprising he ended up with a bit of a chip on his shoulder (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 16/22)

DAINA WOLFLIN b. 1809: She WAS happy

EGLE WOLFLIN b. 1954: Well, someone DOES need to be in charge… (Egle Wolflin Vs. Her Siblings’ Love-Lives, 1/5)

GINTARE WOLFLIN: apparently lives in a Gothic novel now, have those even been invented in the 1660s (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 2/22)

ROZE WOLFLIN: In the first draft when everything was over she just sorta died but fortunately for her the author is older and wiser now (Why The Koszceys Are Still Trying To Live Down Their Reputation After An Entire Century Of Nothing To Complain About, 12/22)

[simkjrs]

Hi please PLEASE talk to me abt the socioeconomic state of japan in bnh verse I am SO interested to hear ur thoughts? I'm a poli theory major and let me tell u im a SLUT for fic that deal w the political/social repercussions of fictional happenings

sure thing! 

disclaimer: i only just graduated high school so i’m pulling all of this out of my ass one semester of macroeconomics i took in senior year. feel free to add onto or correct any of this 

edit: if anyone wants to use this for reference when writing boku no hero japan, feel free! i’d appreciate any credit, but it’s not necessary. 

--

what really got me thinking about the socioeconomic state of boku no hero japan was probably the difference between orudera junior high (bakugou and izuku’s school) vs. yuuei, both of which are in the same city, musutafu. orudera junior high gives off the feeling of a school that’s a bit run down; not terrible enough that it obstructs the kids’ education, but enough that you think the school probably can’t afford to keep it in good repair. 

here’s a screenshot of bakugou and izuku’s classroom:

and then here’s izuku’s desk, which has details indicating that it’s in slight disrepair: 

if you go back through the chapters and look at the setting at yuuei, it’s spic-n-span. just super clean and well-kept. it’s an entire world of difference… so already there is this huge disparity between the junior high school in izuku’s neighborhood, and yuuei, which is a 40 minute subway ride away (chapter 3).

makes sense that yuuei would be so nice and expensive if it’s the most prestigious hero academy in the country, right? but there’s more details too, like this brief exchange between bakugou & iida right at the very beginning: 

bakugou’s resentful comment about iida being an “elite” really only makes sense to me in the context of economic disparity. let’s infer that soumei junior high is better funded, better equipped, better everything in general. of course bakugou will resent iida for that, especially coming from the more ill-maintained orudera junior high. the difference in their economic status is already apparent. 

this isn’t even going into the difference between yaoyorozu’s incredibly rich status vs the rest of the class vs uraraka, who has decided to become a hero because she wants the financial security, and who also lives in an apartment by herself and skips meals to save on money. so even within the class itself there’s a huuuge difference in economic status. 

you could just think of it as the individual circumstances of the characters, but i think it’s more of a systematic problem – see, again, the difference in infrastructure quality between the different schools (the public school is not doing so great but yuuei is doing fantastic). maybe the city is poor, or maybe all of its funds go towards repairing the constant property damage from villain attacks, or maybe there’s just some areas they don’t care to maintain. either way: just by traversing different parts of the city you’ll probably see big differences in how well the neighborhoods are kept. 

and now, for a different question: if this is the golden age of peace, why are there still so many villain fights? 

looking at chapter one (the first villain we see is a guy who stole a purse and then tried to fight back when he was caught) and chapter 115 (villain activity increases sharply after all might’s retirement), i feel like… these attacks are driven by financial need. look at this: 

a group of adults gathered to commit crime… just to steal a register from a convenience store. that’s such a small sum of money! but they were so elated to get just that amount. it seems like the kind of thing that would happen if you were strapped for money, right? 

and then the villain from chapter 1: why would he fight so hard just because he got caught stealing a purse? he stopped the trains, for pete’s sake. all i can think is that a) he needed the money he’d be able to get by selling the purse, or b) he knew he wouldn’t be able to afford the fines, and that’s why he fought. 

maybe i’m reading too much into this, but based off these crimes, plus the other details provided above, i really feel like there’s a growing problem in boku no hero japan where there’s an increasing disparity in wealth. 

another thing to consider: in the golden age of peace, you’d have to be pretty stupid, pretty reckless, or pretty desperate to commit a crime where heroes frequent. (or you’re a black market dealer and/or evil.) if you’ve got an increasing number of people who are poor, who are dropping from the middle class to under the poverty line, or who have no upwards economic mobility, then you’ve got plenty of people desperate enough to try some petty crime for the sake of just a bit more cash for rent this month. that would be enough to explain the frequent villain fights that heroes get into – which are common enough that people will stop by and watch the show on their way to work. (chapter 1) 

this is really just a theory… but what could you use to explain why there’s a growing number of people struggling to make ends meet? 

here’s some factoids about japan (this article is from 2016): 

its real wages were falling, and as such, had weak domestic consumption; people buying less & saving more, or people just not having the money to spend in the first place, resulting in less money circulating in the economy and causing the economy to slow down. efforts to stimulate wage growth in 2015 did not make it down to the workers 

there was an increasing number of people with non-regular jobs, part time jobs, etc. as opposed to full time jobs, so they couldn’t get the financial security of a full time job (source)

one in six people in 2014 were living in relative poverty. this rate is higher among single mothers and among middle aged men without families, i believe. 

japan was like, 39th of 41 developed countries in terms of child poverty (the higher the number, the worse it is). something like that

this is despite japan having a high labor participation rate and a low unemployment rate, and also a low violent crime rate 

basing boku no hero japan off of actual real world japan’s current economic problems: we could surmise that, in boku no hero japan, although nominal wages are rising, real wages are falling; infrastructure spending is poor and disorganized, geared towards repairing villain-inflicted property damage and not enough towards everything else; and people are finding difficulty holding onto jobs (as seen with uraraka’s parents) and are forced into low-paying, part-time work, and may find themselves struggling with debt. 

oh, and here’s a quote from the guardian (jan 2017): “experts say programmes to help needy children are underfunded and held back by bureaucratic inefficiency and political apathy.” 

so it’d actually be quite viable for boku no hero japan to be doing quite badly, economically, and to be struggling with wealth inequality and other super fun things like that. 

boku no hero japan is also like centuries in the future, one where villainy is commonplace, so it’s not a surprise that people’s response to struggling to make ends meet would be “well, i have a pretty good quirk. if i’m lucky, i think i’ll be able to steal some cash, and i’m desperate enough to do it, too.” SO, my personal guess, is that this is a biiiig portion of the crimes that heroes fight. 

i mean, it doesn’t really make sense for villains to do so much… villain-ing… when there’s footage almost every single week of the heroes taking down yet ANOTHER criminal. why do they keep coming out of the woodwork? why’s there still enough criminals to keep all the heroes in business? ‘cause they’re desperate and need the money, probably. which is understandable. so even if you eliminate a villain, you haven’t addressed the economic problems that drove them to become a villain in the first place; hence, there’s always someone else rising up to take their place. 

on that note, let’s take a closer look at the hero industry! 

in chapter 1, horikoshi gives us a brief history of heroics. quirks emerged, the government wasn’t sure what to do to combat quirk-related crime, heroes emerged, and heroes eventually became sanctioned by the law. and when that happened: 

so that’s pretty cool! seems like heroes aren’t specifically a government institution, but they are affiliated with & rewarded by it. makes sense, since heroes have to work closely with law enforcement on some matters, anyways. heroes =/= police only because heroes are specifically there to combat quirk-related crime. 

but times have changed since then, as shown in the latest manga chapter: 

“it’s all about entertainment and approval ratings and whatnot.” 

we know from the stain arc that heroes are still paid by the government: 

‘given my status’ – in other words: his hero ranking? popularity? how respected he is as a hero? hmmm. 

uraraka’s mentor that arc explains that heroes are sort of “paid on commission” by the number of crimes they can resolve, but said commissions usually get sent their way by the police: 

but to get your name out there (both to the police and to the public), and to become higher ranking in the popularity polls, you need to cultivate a public image, too. get yourself some attention. 

so to cultivate a public image, one thing that heroes can do is to conduct a fight in a public, open space where anyone can see. apparently this happens often enough that izuku would actually regularly run into one of these fights on his way to/from school, and would stay to take notes and learn from them. villain attacks are ALSO frequent enough that apparently all might keeps arriving at yuuei late because he stops to help out: 

in other words, villain attacks and fights are a regular, almost quotidian experience. more on that in a sec. for now, just think about how the heroes benefit from public fights: they get to show off, and their fights are broadcasted, and they can get a boost in their rankings. fighting against a villain, they don’t just have a motive to do their job and save people; they have a motive to grab the spotlight and show off. popularity boost! we actually see this happen in chapter one, when mount lady leaps into kamui woods’ fight and defeats a villain in one kick. 

so, as a citizen, you may be grateful to the heroes for saving people – but you might resent them for turning these situations into a spectacle for showing off. incidents sometimes turn into competitions between heroes. if you take that a step further, you might think some of the heroes are only helping because they want to look good. and hey, that’s not the kind of person you’d want to entrust your life to, right? 

because heroics is now partially driven by entertainment and image, heroes are all forming their separate hero agencies to try and differentiate themselves. for example, this list: 

while they work together to fight crime, they have to battle for popularity and attention… they probably even have to vie for commissions/crime cases from the police. they all need to make themselves stronger, cooler, & a better choice than the other hero agencies. it’s something of a conflict of interest. you can imagine sometimes that gets in the way of cooperation (i.e. endeavor’s forever grudge against all might. y’all should read the illegals spin off.) 

and if you’re battling for popularity and attention… it would also make sense for you to center your hero office somewhere with lots of crime, and lots of people to see you fighting crime. right? urban centers would provide plenty of both. what about slums, and the underground, and the outskirts, then? these are places that news reporters and cameras can’t reach easily – and possibly might not want to travel to at all. these are also places where passersby and onlookers might run away instead of praising you. you won’t get a lot of return (in terms of publicity) by working here. so if you’re business-minded… you’re not going to conduct your hero investigations here. 

i mean, yuuei even has a business department. heroics is a business. you make money off of this, and you have to sell your image to the police and the public. if you focus more attention on places that are profitable to you, then the other areas lose. there’s no way around that. 

so poor neighborhoods, bad neighborhoods, camera- and television broadcasting-inaccessible places get the short end of the stick. the heroes don’t go here as often, because it’s not profitable. (well, the heroes probably come down here if they get a police commission. but where are they if a spontaneous crime happens, hm?) meanwhile you turn on the t.v. and you see like five heroes show up at one battle downtown, which is complete overkill. you’d feel pretty resentful, right? do the heroes think your area of residence isn’t worth protecting, just because it doesn’t get them as much attention? do the heroes think it’s okay to just ignore your area of residence? fuck that, right? heroes are supposed to serve the public, and you’re still part of the public too, right? 

that’s gonna build up more resentment between bad neighborhoods & areas v.s. the areas that heroes frequent (often urban, downtown, lots of people to witness their good deeds). and it definitely builds up resentment towards heroes who aren’t so discreet about the money-making aspects of their businesses. 

like: all might sells merchandise. okay, understandable. present mic has a radio show (which probably gets paid to run advertisements). okay, that’s pretty cool! but then you get things like this: 

a hero using their public service, publicly paid hours… to shoot a commercial and make themselves a little bit of cash on the side. if you’re in one of those areas that heroes don’t frequent so often – wouldn’t you be pretty furious to find out that the person who’s supposed to be fighting crime in your neighborhood just made $500,000 by filming a commercial instead? 

you’re going to turn on the television and see ads with pro heroes in them – pro heroes who used their public service hours to do something for their own profit. this isn’t to say that heroes can’t film commercials, or make money on the side. if they’re helping people, it’s great that they can make a living! but they’re making that living by pandering to the entertainment industry when they’re supposed to be… you know… helping people. even kendou (in the picture above) comments that it’s not very hero like. the next page, momo replies that this aspect of the hero business is ‘unavoidable.’ ads, entertainment – it’s all part of the hero industry now. 

and they don’t feel that good about it. 

if all this conjecture is true, then – as grateful as people are to the heroes – they might be quite critical of the hero industry itself, and the heroes that embody the worst parts of it. i’m not surprised that there are a whole bunch of people who feel “othered” by heroes, and by society as a whole. 

like… that’s no excuse to be a villain. stop that. but it would certainly be a reason for people to dislike the hero industry. AND it would explain why it is that stain’s ideology resonated so deeply with other people. 

AAAAND that’s basically the rundown of what i think the socioeconomic state of boku no hero japan is like. sorry this was horribly long

[fountainpenguin]

Hey, now that we're touching on the subject in your writing, want to tell us more about Sunnie and the gang? You know, personalities and who is playing host to which spirit? That kind of thing?

Yeah, I touched on them in THIS post, but admittedly that was very superficial information, and some of the information is slightly outdated too.

To be fair, I thought I’d have more time to introduce you to each spirit and host one at a time, since they weren’t supposed to appear in my works yet. “This Is Halloween” was originally going to be about the mirror caves throughout Anti-Pixie Isle for ~foreshadowing~ reasons that you’ll see later, but then this happened instead. Sorry for the info-dump. But not very.

Okay, so let’s talk about the zodiac spirits again. Luckily for me, I can just steal some of this stuff out of the Anti-Fairy worldbuilding dump I’m posting on the 7th since there’s no fanfic update that day, and link back to this post. 

Be aware that this post is massive. But when you’re ready to learn, here you go.

NATURE SPIRITS AND ZODIACS

What is the point of you creating nature spirits for your fanfics?

Giving Anti-Fairies culture that doesn’t totally revolve around evil. Don’t get me wrong- this is definitely a ‘fic about Anti-Cosmo’s rise to power. It’s an “innocence to corruption” type of story. 

However, I see canon Anti-Cosmo as a guy striking out mostly because his people are majorly discriminated against by the Fairies. I needed reasons for him to believe his people deserved to not be discriminated against, and reasons for the Anti-Fairies not to think, “Well gee, maybe if we stopped attacking people, they would accept us!” So, the way Anti-Fairies appear in my works is, many of them are good, cultured people who just happen to feel the urge to make mischief and deal with bad luck. 

They’re bearers of bad news, but you shouldn’t kill the messenger, so to speak. Many of them are offended at being called evil. We’ll watch Anti-Cosmo get past the point of caring and embrace the evil title. That was one of the harder things for me in writing Frayed Knots, but I think I did okay.

Anti-Fairies are creatures of bad luck, so I started by giving them a zodiac and major beliefs in astrology, fate, destiny, horoscopes, and I built out from there. This was also my way of explaining things that appear in canon, like the Darkness, or the temple to the chicken seen in “Chicken Poofs”. Additionally, many Fairies believe the stars are Fairy warriors. Anti-Fairies believe they’re stars. H.P. belongs to a religion that believes fairy dogs can die. In the show, Sparky stated that they can’t, so the Zodii believe they can’t. Different stuff like that so I can encompass as many bits of canon in the show as possible.

Finally, it was nice to create an entire culture so starkly different from H.P.’s, who grew up in Fairy World in my fanfic Origin of the Pixies. Considering the mixed feelings between Fairies and Anti-Fairies, it seemed appropriate to give them drastically different cultures and beliefs. Additionally, many fans love the Anti-Fairies and wanted to hear more about them in the show, so I wanted to have fun with this. I also wanted to keep my readers engaged since Frayed Knots is my second fanfic and has to cover some of the same worldbuilding stuff we already saw in Origin. I wanted to keep some unexplored territory.

AND, I wanted Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda to be kept busy a lot of the time, which is why we don’t see them with Foop in the later seasons. I didn’t want them to be purely working on evil plans, since it seems their son would have wanted to get in on that action. Instead, I gave them a culture that has super strong traditions and beliefs, and made Foop the oddball who still has loyalty to his culture and reacts badly when he sees Fairies mock it and the Anti-Fairies, but he still thinks most of it is dumb and doesn’t want to get in too deep, so therefore pulls away from his parents and does his own thing.

I knew I’d be writing an extensive ‘fic that would probably take me years to finish, so I needed to have fun.

Don’t worry- while Knots does include a lot of nature spirit stuff, the zodiac still just Anti-Fairy culture and isn’t what I would call “the main plot”. This is still an FOP fanfic that tries to stay close to canon without veering the story into tons of OCs. Anti-Cosmo will be doing a lot of things in this story that have nothing to do with the nature spirits. We don’t even meet Sunnie until the war over godchildren is over. Then we get a big burst of nature spirit stuff before it fades out and we pick up the other plotlines again.

What are the levels of nature spirits?

Wise Ancients - Major deities; for all intents and purposes, they’re gods. I prefer using the terms “nature spirits” and “Ancients”, but they’re basically gods.

Ex: Mother Nature (Space), Father Time (Time), Tarrow (Reality), The Hocus Poconos (Unreality), The Grim Reaper (Death), The Cycling Hen (Life), Prince Morn (Light), Princess Eve (Dark)…

Those are all the Wise Ancients I’ve thought up at this time. More might come later. They’re the overarching set, and the other spirits are their children. 

The way I see it, space and time existed and mixed together. From this union, Reality was created. Reality gathered the sentience to take on solid, sentient form, and taught Space and Time how to take shape like him (Mother Nature and Father Time; Tarrow’s name obviously comes from tarot since he’s also viewed as the influencer of luck). Others followed suit.

Spirit Bears - Also considered Ancients, although they are always spirits of the land. They’re a subset of the Ancients who can only kiff-tie (I’m using that term to suggest reproduction in this sense) with other spirit bears. They’re basically personifications of different lands rather than aspects of nature. In Origin, we see H.P. doing paperwork and political things to get Pixie World recognized as an official World. In Knots, we see Anti-Cosmo dealing with the birth of the new spirit bear cub who represents Pixie World. Same timeline of events, but they play on different fields.

Ex: Fairy World (Tír Ildáthach), Anti-Fairy World (Hy-Brasil), Pixie World (Sprigganhame), Anti-Pixie World (Solis Infinitum), and what I suppose we would call Fairy Refract World (Avalon). 

Things like Patio World and Mattress World are small towns that don’t have bears. I’m not sure about Hairy World and Scary World yet, but I’m leaning towards those just being nicknames for different planes of existence, so they don’t get bears either.

I drew a comic that I plan to color and upload about H.P.’s interpretation of the spirit bears vs. Anti-Cosmo’s. I also drew H.P. holding Sprigganhame in one of my Inktobers.

Demigods - The children of the Ancients. The term “demigod” is meant to be all-encompassing, so it always refers to the children of the Ancients, exception being people like Tarrow who are considered major deities and therefore Ancients. As far as you’re concerned, I have listed the Ancients above, and their children are the demigods.

Ex: Dayfry (Love; Friday), Saturn (Fire; Saturday), Sunnie (Water; Sunday), Munn (Sky; Monday), Twis (Soil; Tuesday), Winni (Breath; Wednesday), Thurmondo (Leaves; Thursday)

They’re major spirits. Imagine it like, Tarrow is Zeus, and the demigods seen here are the other major gods on Olympus. 

There are other demigods (Ex: spirits that symbolize good harvests, good fortune, friendship, patience, travel, wood, stone, certain types of animals) who have similar powers to our gang, but while they might have small shrines, they don’t have official Temples. I mean, maybe some do, but that sounds complicated for my worldbuilding, so let’s not get into that.

Proper ways to address them would be as “the Seven” or “the zodiac spirits”. “Deity” is another acceptable term, as is “nature spirits”, though nature spirits refers to nature spirits as a whole, and zodiac spirits refers only to the Seven.

Minor Spirits - The children of the demigods. Some of them might have the same masteries as actual demigods, but if they aren’t born of the Ancients, they aren’t called demigods. Powers get watered down through the generations.

Ex: Multiple spirits of mist, clouds, lightning, mud, oxygen, etc. 

Anything you get when two aspects of nature combine. Periodic table level and stuff. Also known as lesser spirits. There are hundreds if not thousands of them, but they’re not as important . Like I said, they tend to be combinations.

I feel like it’s also worth pointing out that Fergus Mór mac Eirc’s Wikipedia page lists his mother as “the mist”. Literally the mist. Thus, I decided that H.P.’s namesake here (H.P.’s name is Fergus in my headcanon) is the grandson of Sunnie. This gets increasingly interesting when you do further research and find out that Fergus the Great died in a “freak storm”. Apparently, Sunnie had a temper tantrum and he got caught in it. H.P. is terrified of Sunnie as a result. Considering that I dropped Anti-Cosmo in the Water Year at random when I originally decided he was born in the Year of the Black Lake, this is very interesting to me.

Additionally, when minor spirits have kids, you go even smaller. This is where you get guardians of individual rivers, mountains, or particular forest groves.

Nature spirits are “everywhere and everything”, but they all have a single manifested form that embodies their sentience, heart, and that they use to communicate. If they want to talk to you with words, they have to haul their manifested form all the way to where you are, which is often inconvenient if they’re light-years away. Even they can only travel so fast. Otherwise, the most they can do is mess around with their aspect of nature (their “mastery”). For example, by making streams bubble or leaves fall or wind blow.

So, all those signs you think you see in nature in answer to your pleas? Pure laziness. They usually only get up when they have really important messages to deliver, or they’re on the run. If you pray to them, they might be interested enough to respond, but they’re not going to get up to do it and tell you directly. They just shake branches and stuff to signal that they’re paying attention. Super simple stuff that is easily waved off as coincidence by those who don’t believe.

It’s a whole network of spirits, but don’t try to keep them all straight. Focus on the main seven.

Who are the zodiac spirits?

Seven nature spirits who are the grandsons of Mother Nature and Father Time. They each represent a different element on the Fairy zodiac, and are named after the days of the week, which was my way of excusing why the days of the week were called such in the cloudlands long ago. I cared.

Each of the zodiac spirits is a son of a deity called Tarrow the Luck-Twister (also called “the cosmic jellyfish”). He’s basically the deity of fate, and since Anti-Fairies are obsessed with luck, you can see why they like him. 

However, each of the zodiac spirits has a different other parent (whom they tend to draw their element from), so they’re all technically half-brothers. Since nature spirits can produce children with either sex, some have a mother and some have two dads. Sunnie is an exception who was created asexually; he’s the water spirit and was formed from Tarrow’s tears after he got dumped by the Hocus Poconos.

I mean, the zodiac spirits are basically major region Legendary Pokémon, and then the minor spirits are each region’s lesser Legendaries. The Ancients would be Mew, Arceus, Rayquaza, etc. They’re above the main region Legendaries.

How does sex/gender work with the nature spirits?

Any nature spirit can deliver an “energy manifestation” (“child”) after they pair. The less dominant spirit will be the one to do so (*Dramatic music* The Fairy zodiac is organized according to age/dominance of the zodiac spirits). The “parent” who is “pregnant” with the spirit can decide the spirit’s sex, because some animals like insect queens can do that but I didn’t get to use that on the actual Fairies, so I gave it to the nature spirits instead because I don’t know.

My favorite dumb joke is that Tarrow is the ultimate dominant spirit against every spirit except for one, The Hocus Poconos, and this is actually the reason why he’s head over heels for her, because she’s the one that’s different. He only had one kid with her - Dayfry - who is his obvious favorite. The other kids were borne by their other parents. Nature spirit pregnancy only lasts for like thirty seconds after the spirits separate, I feel like I should point out.

Nature spirits have “true forms” and “projected forms”, as I will explain later in this post. While their true form would be their biological sex, the gender of their projected form may be different. Everyone interprets the spirits differently, remember? So if you interpret a biologically male water spirit as female, then the projected form you see would be a female water spirit. The nature spirit still interprets himself as male, and while he is aware of your interpretation, it doesn’t change the way he himself sees himself, which is his true form.

What are the Zodiac Temples?

Buildings in the cloudlands that are open places of worship for anyone who wishes to come, regardless of race. Anti-Fairies are by far the most frequent visitors. Aliens aren’t common since this is the Fairy zodiac here.

Each Temple has a public area that’s all decorated. That’s where most people visit. You can also visit one of a few more private side rooms so that you can meditate in peace and place your offerings in the provided dish.

The most important room in the Temple is the echo chamber, and only camarilla members and anyone of their zodiac who have been given explicit permission can visit there to meditate. 

The Temples were created during the Sealing War, when the zodiac spirits were considered too powerful and imprisoned. Their manifested forms are inside the echo chambers of their Temples, bound with magical golden chains. As such, while they can still communicate by creating aspects of nature, they can’t go anywhere except inside their Temples.

Sometimes when you’re in their Temples, they’ll appear to speak with you, but only when they want to and their advice should always be taken with a grain of salt- they generally have their own agendas in mind, and even when trying to help, they struggle to comprehend mortal affairs.

As a general rule:

Dayfry (Love) - Knows his name carries a lot of weight and doesn’t like to throw that weight around. So, he rarely reveals himself. However, if you appear to be desperate and crying, you can probably bring him out; he hates seeing anyone miserable.

Saturn (Fire) - You can win him over with impressive offerings and displays. He’s a sucker for flattery, but probably won’t show up if there’s nothing in it for him.

Sunnie (Water) - Sometimes appears if you seek his advice and he finds you interesting, which usually means intellectual. If he doesn’t think you’re worth his time, then you aren’t and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Munn (Sky) - Will reveal himself to almost any Sky year who asks, as long as he’s impressed. He rarely gives out advice, good or otherwise. Mostly he just listens to people while he eats the offerings they brought, and cracks jokes.

Twis (Soil) - Reveals himself next to never, even to his own camarilla representatives. Mostly, he only approaches a Soil High Count or Countess. No one beneath them has enough power to interest him. He’s a stubborn butt.

Winni (Breath) - Doesn’t always appear, but when he does, he’s nosy and likes to tell you what to do. Likely to get offended when you reject his advice, even when it’s terrible.

Thurmondo (Leaves) - Might appear if you push him hard enough, though he’s pretty nervous and spacy and doesn’t like offering suggestions. Not too helpful.

A nature spirit who gets “killed” while out and about will wake up again in their echo chamber. Like the shaman’s reincarnation site in Populous: The Beginning, though I don’t think many of you know that computer game. I was raised on it. No Temple means no reincarnation, so any Temple lost will send the camarilla into an immediate frenzy to rebuild it.

On the subject of Populous, your mana charges faster when you have a higher population. I borrowed that idea for the zodiac spirits too. More people born in their year on the zodiac boosts their power. People of their zodiac actively practicing in their name (namely, visiting a Temple) boosts their power further- no matter what race those visitors are, or which Temple they’re in.

So yeah, if you’ve ever wondered why they refuse to strike their own people, it’s because it hurts them. They have more fun knocking each other’s forces down and cutting each other’s powers supply than they do actually paying attention to the political and moral skirmishes going on. You probably shouldn’t ask them to help you out in times of war. They’d just as easily wipe out your allies who were born under different zodiacs. They play for their own team.

What do the zodiac spirits do?

Act as impartial votes on matters that concern multiple races, mostly (like the Bake-Off and the Olympics). We saw Mother Nature in “Balance of Flour”, but her children and grandchildren sometimes take the role of judge instead. They’re all in agreement that Nana’s brownies are delicious, much to Anti-Fairy irritation.

Mostly they chill at their Temples, snack on their offerings, and badger people to make monuments of them. It’s more complicated than this, but this is all you need to know for now. Just realize that the nature spirits have their own agendas and don’t like sacrificing their wants for mortals, and you’re good.

Yes, they are very powerful and they could snap their fingers and grant you a miracle as long as it falls within their zodiac influence, but that would be bad storytelling. Their powers are what got them into their high positions. They’re considered deities for a reason. But nowadays, their powers are limited due to being bound to their Temples. Mostly they just talk to you and give advice instead of solving all your problems.

What do the zodiac spirits NOT do?

Don’t worry - No major quests in the name of the spirits, no cryptic prophecies, and no manipulating anybody’s life without their knowledge. No major cosmic games that we’ll see Anti-Cosmo get dragged into.

The spirits definitely have their own agendas and sometimes use mortals as means to achieve an end, but the “cosmic game” they’re playing right now is ~mostly~ a competition about who can get the most worshipers and monuments. Like I said, it’s more complicated than this and there are rules that I as the author need to know to keep them in check. We can go into that one day if you want, but let’s get deeper into Knots first. These are the basics. All you really need to know is that Sunnie is a sore loser and he rage-quit a long time ago, so he doesn’t join the current play until he gets his hands on Anti-Cosmo.

But the “cosmic game” isn’t some major world-shattering thing. It just gives the spirits something to do to play with each other. Everyone’s gotta have something to work towards, especially when imprisoned.

The spirits are minor gods who are easily bored and need the camarilla to play card games with them and read bedtime stories more than anything else. Anything that keeps them entertained. A bored or angry spirit is the kind of spirit who will mess around with nature to the point that it’s annoying (Ex: Sunnie might dry up a river, whereas Saturn may make a volcano erupt).

What are true forms, projected forms, and manifested forms?

Manifested form - The single being that basically holds the brain and heart of the element or aspect of nature in question. Ex: Death is a huge thing. The Grim Reaper is Death’s manifested form. This is his soul, his brain, his mouthpiece, etc.

True form - The form a nature spirit was born into. The spirit sees himself in this form. For example, Sunnie’s true form is as a creature made of black crystal, with lynx-like ears. He has turquoise eyes and wears a turquoise cloak. He has really long white hair. That’s how he sees himself. That’s the way Anti-Cosmo sees him when they kiff-tie. It’s taboo to discuss or make monuments in the shape of a nature spirit’s true form. Immortals, however, can’t see projected forms, and only see true forms.

Projected form - The way a mortal interprets a nature spirit. This would be Sunnie’s water genie form. The Darkness projects the black and red vortex we saw in “Wishology”. Tarrow projects his jellyfish. Their true forms show very obvious weak points on their bodies, typically their chests. I mean really, really obvious. Flashing and glowing kind of obvious. Projected forms don’t show those weak points. Anti-Cosmo interprets Sunnie as a water genie, but Sunnie can’t see what Anti-Cosmo interprets him as; that’s his projected form. Sunnie only sees himself in his true form.

What does it mean to host / take a nature spirit’s favor?

A favor (spelled “favour” in Knots) is a piece of jewelry in a zodiac color. It can be any small token or piece of clothing. The spirits generally have a form they prefer (listed by spirit below), though shapes and sizes may differ, especially based on the personal preference of the one carrying it. The spirits are not technically the favors, though sometimes it’s believed that they are.

It’s very important to note that the spirits ONLY take members of the Unseelie Court as their hosts. Namely Anti-Fairies. This is because Anti-Fairies turn to smoke if they’re “killed”, and automatically regenerate within a few seconds or minutes. This means that if another member of the Unseelie Court, like another Anti-Fairy, turns to smoke near them, their particles might get mixed together when they reform. The same is true for the nature spirits, who turn to steam. Their particles combine as they regenerate. That’s kiff-tying.

So this is all… sort of a cross between “Miraculous Ladybug” and “Steven Universe”, apparently. But also Populous: The Beginning. Listen, I already had to drop my original plan of Anti-Cosmo’s accidental influence over bad luck when I discovered “Milo Murphy’s Law”. I refuse to drop the nature spirit stuff too.

As of now, 4 of 7 favors are held by the camarilla. Twis is extremely picky about who he gives his to, and Dayfry’s favor was lost a long time ago and hasn’t yet been found. Which spirits have active hosts depends on the camarilla at the time. When a new High Count / High Countess takes power, their old camarilla shifts out and a new one is called.

If you’re carrying a zodiac spirit’s favor but you’re not on the camarilla, you have to return to the Temple and return the favor to the spirit. That spirit then chooses if he wants to take a new host or take a break for awhile instead. Sometimes the break-ups can be difficult and a spirit will refuse to accept the new camarilla member, and instead throw a fit until the High Count or Countess reluctantly reinstates the old. Sometimes the extinction burst can’t be endured /shot

If a spirit has a host, they can split their awareness between their manifested form, their Temple, and as many hosts as they have, viewing all locations simultaneously. A spirit with no host is limited to viewing only their immediate surroundings and their Temple.

Rogue spirits can take hosts too, but rogue spirits usually avoid the cloudlands because that’s the territory of the main spirits and they don’t want to infringe. They hang out on Earth or other planets in the universe where their parents or older cousins won’t boss them around. Rogue nature spirits can only manifest their favors as simple beads on a simple string. You may have noticed none of the zodiac spirits has a necklace design. Those are considered “simple” and are for rogues. The zodiac spirits are too haughty for that nonsense.

There could be a few Anti-Fairies who’ve met rogue spirits and have agreed to carry their favors, but that’s something they’d likely want to keep to themselves. I don’t imagine rogue spirits are looked on very favorably. But it probably depends. A small town might worship a particular rogue who sticks around their area and always selects hosts in that town. Who knows.

The seven zodiac spirits mutually agreed to only have one host at a time for quote-unquote “cosmic game” purposes to cut down on power-playing. Thus, as a rule, they default to one of the two camarilla members for their zodiac. Because it’s Anti-Fairy culture to hold the camarilla position and retire with dignity if replaced, that creates a regular turnover rate and prevents the spirits from being stuck with someone who refuses to give their favor back and dies alone with it somewhere.

I mean, there’s no rule saying they HAVE to pick from the camarilla. But that generally gives them the most influence over politics, and it would certainly cause a stir among the Anti-Fairies if a random commoner was running around representing them and attracting attention.

What does it mean to be bound to a Temple?

First, I want to point out that the chains binding the zodiac spirits are gold. On the mural in the Blue Castle, the chains are painted on with inrita, the chemical that drains Fairykind magic. Touching the chains in the mural makes an Anti-Fairy’s skin tingle, and their fingertips will go numb for about two minutes. Inrita has no effect on the nature spirits, but inrita is painted on the mural to remind the Anti-Fairies that gold has a similar, painful effect on the nature spirits that inrita has on them. That probably won’t ever come up in Knots. We’ll see.

Being bound to the Temple means the zodiac spirits have a manifestation of themselves chained within their Temple. However, this is a bit difficult to explain, so I’ll do my best. Technically, the zodiac spirits still exist on Plane 23. Plane 23 isn’t physically “higher up” than the other planes. It overlaps every plane. Passing into Plane 23 puts you on the spirit level, and the spirits can wander around and see people, even if they can’t directly interact by touching them or anything. They’re like ghosts.

The zodiac spirits are bound to the Plane 23 version of their Temple. Therefore, you won’t see them every time you visit the echo chamber, although they can see you. They can choose if they want to create a manifestation of themselves within their echo chamber, which is pretty draining, but they can do that and will if they want to talk to you. It’ll knock them out for a week afterwards, though, so they can’t do it with everyone.

Okay, so then we get this:

Sunnie’s manifestation there is what Sunnie can use to communicate with Anti-Cosmo directly, using his mouth and words. That’s the aspect of Sunnie that Anti-Cosmo kiff-ties with. What this means is, this Sunnie turns to steam and Anti-Cosmo turns to smoke through a special ceremony where Anti-Cosmo agrees to carry and care for Sunnie’s favor, and then, well… knives are involved.

You’ll just have to watch things unfold in Knots to see how that goes down: All you really need to know is, Anti-Cosmo is basically Sunnie’s yoo-doo doll when they’re kiff-tied. Sunnie can feel everything Anti-Cosmo feels, as well as see the world through his eyes and hear through his ears. Sunnie used to be able to see the universe without a host, but he can’t do that while he’s bound. When Sunnie broke his tie with Anti-Cosmo in “This Is Halloween”, we saw Sunnie’s manifestation again. That’s the little Sunnie. The Prince of Water is still at the Water Temple, and has the ability to vaporize his manifestation at any time. However, if he did that, he wouldn’t have any other manifestation, and would completely cut off his awareness of what was going on in the Castle.

The Prince of Water can continue creating manifestations to talk to other people in the echo chamber even while kiff-tied with a host. As I believe I mentioned, the zodiac spirits can create lots of manifestations of themselves. However, it’ll knock them out for a week, and the manifestation will disappear if it isn’t tied to a mortal host. And, for “cosmic game” reasons, the zodiac spirits all agreed that they’re each allowed only one host.

Technically, because Sunnie quit, he’s not bound to that rule. He can have as many hosts as he wants as long as he’s not playing, but he would have to rescind all but one to enter the current play. However, that would be out of character for him and then he wouldn’t be Sunnie. When Anti-Cosmo meets Sunnie, Sunnie explains that he hasn’t had a host for… I think it was nine hundred thousand years. He’s a sulker.

Okay, are you following? This is where it gets trickier. The Princely forms of the nature spirits can still interact with one another despite being bound. Imagine that Plane 23 is an empty white void, except the zodiac spirits can see all the Temples. If they weren’t bound, they could see everything. So, the Prince of Water can basically go as far away from his Temple as he wants, floating in an empty white void, until he meets another spirit. Probably the Prince of Soil. 

They can hang out, talk, picnic on food from their offering dishes, kiff-tie, whatever they want. They’re just in a white void that occasionally has floating Temples. The golden chains stretch forever. Like I said, if they weren’t bound, they could see all of Plane 23. But while they’re chained, it’s a void for them.

That’s what it means to be bound. The kids are grounded from playing outside unless they’re supervised by a host, but they can still play with each other inside and hang out in their rooms. So obviously, Winni and Thurmondo are together like, all the time.

Don’t really know how much we’ll get into this in Knots. We’ll see hints of Anti-Cosmo floating in the white void when he kiff-ties with Sunnie the first time.

OKAY! That was the encompassing overview that I was going to share in the worldbuilding post next week, but it’s fine, you can have it now.

Now, let’s look at each zodiac spirit in more detail. Their powers were mentioned in a previous post. Now we’ll look at them more as people and demigods.

TARROW: The Cosmic Jellyfish

Deity of creation, fate, and destiny. Not technically represented on the camarilla. His color is red, and the First General wears a magical red cloak with a jellyfish clasp. The First General does not host Tarrow or carry his favor, but only strives to act impartially and make the final call if the camarilla get locked in a debate. He is meant to act impartially.

The cloak is mostly only worn when appearing before the public, especially during ceremonial events. Anti-Buster, the First General before Anti-Cosmo whom we see in Knots, adores it and wears it almost everywhere, except when he’s sleeping. He thinks it makes him look dramatic and you will see him constantly swishing and flicking it during this story.

DAYFRY: The Hummingbird, Leader, and Peacemaker

Love Years: 1989, 1996, 2003, 2010, 2017; Fairy New Year starts March 15th)

Mastery: Love, balance, loyalty, duty, politeness, gentleness, sacrifice, honor

Parentage: Reality (Tarrow) x Unreality (The Hocus Poconos)

Preferred Favor: Amethyst ring, usually worn on left middle finger

Modern Medium: None (Would probably be Anti-Kanin (Caden))

Overview: Dayfry is the King Solomon archetype- the wise leader of the zodiac spirits… or at least that’s what he tries to be. In reality, he’s a social creature who loves getting his family together to play games and enjoy the holidays. He tries to balance them all out by rushing around and soothing everyone, and keeping them from strangling one another.

All the zodiac spirits gave their names to the day of the week they were imprisoned in their Temple. Coincidentally, they were all imprisoned on different days, in the order of their birth. Wow! Amazing mythology coincidence! Dayfry, of course, gave his name to Friday. Friday is the first day of the week in the Fairy calendar. The work day starts Friday afternoon, and it goes until Wednesday afternoon. People get Thursday off, since the Big Wand gets recharged on Friday morning as we learned in “The Big Fairy Share Scare”, so obviously it must be running at its dregs on Thursday, and people don’t want to use magic or go out and about too much. Friday is a late start day every week. Nice. Additionally, Friday the 13th obviously occurs on Friday. Thus, Dayfry is a very respected deity  in Anti-Fairy culture.

Because of this, Dayfry doesn’t get out much. He may be social with his brothers, but he’s shy around mortals because he’s a huge celebrity. Also, he doesn’t like kiff-tying much. I’m sure he’s done it with a host before, but it’s just not interesting to him. We’ll only see him once in Knots, briefly, when he arrives to visit at the new Water Temple with all his brothers before it gets consecrated with Anti-Cosmo’s blood.

As previously mentioned, Dayfry is the only child Tarrow had with the Hocus Poconos, and is his dad’s obvious favorite. He’s present in spirit at a lot of ceremonial events, but he likes to stay out of the limelight. Like I said, shy celebrity archetype.

Note that Munn is the spirit of kindness and caring for others, whereas Dayfry is more the spirit of acting professional even when you have to work with someone you don’t like. Dayfry is the spirit of swallowing your pride “for the greater good”, of loving the people and prizing the community as a whole above yourself. Additionally, Dayfry is more the spirit of thoughtfulness and wisdom whereas Sunnie is education, logic, and hard facts.

Everyone is always shocked to hear that Dayfry is single and possibly aromantic asexual. But, well. Spirit of youth and virginity, I guess. I figured that a spirit of Love should either be completely asexual or completely pansexual, and since we’ve already got Tarrow running around… yeah, I went with asexual. Also, he’s purple. That’s obvious. He’s the spirit of balance, after all, so it just makes sense that if all his brothers are paired up, he just hangs out by himself as the odd one out. Not that he really minds. You could say that he gave his gift of love to mortals.

Temple: High South (Navy) Region - Plane 4 - Crowfeld, Anti-Fairy World

The Love Temple isn’t far inside the border of Anti-Fairy World, as it’s one of the places that non-Zodii Fairies frequently visit too. It’s actually the church-like building where Cosmo and Wanda were married as we saw in “School’s Out: The Musical”. I mean, come on, guys. It’s purple and people get married there. That was obvious.

Dayfry’s Temple is mostly your stereotypical place of worship. It’s a reverent, quiet area that allows peace and self-reflection and whatnot. It’s shaped like a circle and his echo chamber is in the very middle of it.

Bonds:

Dayfry is on decent terms with all his brothers. They mutually respect him. As the spirit of Balance, he has healthy purple bonds with all of them. However, he has no interest in kiff-tying. He just kind of does his own thing.

SATURN: The Lizard, Warrior, and Team Dad

Fire Years: 1990, 1997, 2004, 2011, 2018

Mastery: Fire, energy, comfort, emotional strength, passion, family, justice

Parentage: Reality (Tarrow) x Light (Prince Morn)

Preferred Favor: Ruby bracelet 

Modern Medium: Anti-Julian (Electro) (Note- I pronounce his name with the ‘H’ sound. I… I don’t know. He’s just always been that way for me.)

Overview: Saturn is the energetic, passionate warrior always willing to take up arms and fight to defend his loved ones. If you mess with his family, you mess with him. He’s even willing to deliver the first blow if he suspects you might mess with his family, though he’s not quite as paranoid about everything as Sunnie is.

Saturn is short-tempered, but as the embodiment of Energy, he’s also super productive. This guy gets things done, and fast. Quality may be questionable sometimes. You can perhaps see why he doesn’t get along well with Twis, who prefers to take things slow and do them right. In mythology, Saturn is the guy who cuts corners, and always has to be humbled by going back and doing them over again more carefully. Though when he doesn’t want to, sometimes he gets frustrated enough to set things on fire. Obviously, when volcanoes erupt, Anti-Fairies panic that someone has horribly offended Saturn.

Saturn is also said to have created the first genies, on level with the creation of Adam and Eve. These genies are called Asja and Galeras, and were mentioned in THIS post awhile back. As a genie breeder, Anti-Cosmo obviously has an interest in Saturn, and visits his Temple when facing major decisions regarding his genies.

So, Saturn is the warrior who cares deeply for his family. That’s probably his main personality trait: His passion. He stands up for what he loves and acts as a brave captain leading the armies of the nature spirits in battle in mythology. He’s easily irritated and revenge-seeking, definitely not someone you want to upset. He tends to devise sick and twisted tortures for those who offend him. He’s not exactly sly and subtle- he’s just the unstoppable, terrifying force, and if you engage him in battle, you will almost certainly lose.

However, he’s not so hot-headed that he’ll forgo logic to fight you. His military training always takes priority. Saturn isn’t the rash enemy who charges you when he’s taunted. He’s the brilliant battle captain who will organize his troops, calculate your weak points, and destroy you. He relies heavily on his faithful strategist, Sunnie, to help him organize his forces, although Sunnie usually tries to calculate plans that result in the least amount of people getting hurt, whereas Saturn is the guy who does care about casualties, but considers them a necessary evil to be sacrificed to win the war if need be.

Previously, I pointed out that the Fairykind don’t have important beliefs about solar or lunar eclipses, because they can’t see those events from the cloudlands. Though, they do have the Fairy-Clipse. Anyway, it seems appropriate to state this again seeing as Saturn is the child of the sun / light / day god and Munn the child of the moon / dark / night goddess. There aren’t any myths about Saturn, Munn, or their parents in regards to solar or lunar eclipses.

Temple: Far West (Maroon) Region - Plane 6 - Shadeblink, Anti-Fairy World

The Fire Temple is shaped like a chocolate chip. It’s all black, smooth, and shiny, with colorful windows where different flames burn behind the glass. There’s a transparent column in the center of the Temple where waves of fire flicker from the bottom and head up towards the top, and burst out occasionally like a colorful volcano. The echo chamber is at the base of this column (not transparent).

This Temple will most likely appear in Knots, probably more than once, but I haven’t gotten to that point yet.

Bonds: (Ordered from “best(?)” relationship to worst. Note that the Anti-Fairies took note of the bonds that the nature spirits share, and believe that similar relationships extend to those born in their year. For example, Saturn and Munn have a close bond, a “yellow” bond, so therefore they believe that Fire and Sky years are naturally compatible.)

Yellow - See Munn’s yellow section

Blue -See Sunnie’s blue section

Pink -See Winni’s pink section

Purple - See Thurmondo’s purple section

Green -See Twis’ yellow section

SUNNIE: The Turtle, Scholar, and Strategist

Water Years: 1991, 1998, 2005, 2012, 2019

Mastery: Water (+ ice), focus, tact, introspection, education, logic, tranquility

Parentage: Born of the tears of a god

Preferred Favor: Turquoise brooch, clasp, or badge 

Modern Medium: Anti-Cosmo (Julius)

Overview: Sunnie is basically a self-serving conspiracy nut who takes advantage of Anti-Cosmo for his own gain, but only when he wants to. He doesn’t like going out of way for things like that. That’s wasted energy, and isn’t practical. It took he and Anti-Cosmo a while to warm up to each other, but they’re usually a good team who work well in sync, especially when studying and making plans. It’s just… they have opposite attitudes about a lot of things. Sunnie will always prioritize survival, especially of himself, whereas Anti-Cosmo prioritizes things like protecting or helping others, even if it puts him at risk. 

Sunnie doesn’t really get the concept of honor, and will frequently take the coward’s way out by running off when things get tough. He doesn’t like to get involved, and when he does, it’s out of necessity. He can be very blunt and calculating, not afraid of stepping on people’s feelings in order to relay accurate information. However, he has low self-esteem and gets panicky and flustered in the face of criticism. He’s easily offended when holes in his plans are pointed out. He’s a scholar and a strategist. Book-smart, but not people-smart.

As previously mentioned, Sunnie is a strategist who puts his all into thinking, and so he’s also a very sore loser. While he doesn’t yell, he pouts and sulks a lot, and will often vent to Twis as Twis plows his fields. Captive audience, right? Sunnie is a complainer, but as a strategist, he does like to try and fix things. But only after complaining and sulking and having his feelings soothed. He likes having his back stroked and patted while he sprawls across your lap.

Sunnie is the scholar who loves to learn. He’s the guy you’d make offerings to when you have major exams coming up. He also has some stereotypical cat-like behaviors, such as sitting on your keyboard when he wants attention and knocking things off desks and cabinets just because he can. You can scold him, but he’ll give you that, “Try me” look and try to stare you down.

In addition to the liquid form of water, Sunnie is also the demigod of snow and ice. Technically he can also be the demigod of boiling water and steam, and he is, so long as we’re talking about steam from water. Fairies turn to dust and Anti-Fairies turn to smoke, but the nature spirits turn to steam. Sunnie has nothing to do with that.

Despite his sacred animal being the turtle, Sunnie is a very agile creature, and this gift extends to those who carry his favor. He’s quick on his toes and capable of rebounding off walls and ceilings with ease in a fight. One of the highlights of Anti-Wanda’s life is the time she convinced Anti-Cosmo to dress up as one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and take advantage of Sunnie’s agility field bonus. He denies this ever happened.

Temple: Central Star (Purple) Region - Plane 3 - Inkblot City, Pixie World

After H.P. knocked the old Water Temple down because of reasons, Sunnie’s bonds broke and he escaped. Anti-Cosmo chased him down and ordered H.P. to build Sunnie a new Temple. As such, the modern Water Temple was rebuilt in Pixie World, coincidentally also fulfilling the requirement of the law that in order to be legally called a city in the cloudlands, a place must have a Temple on the premises. Funny how things work out sometimes.

The modern Temple is square and very fancy. H.P. spared no expense, much to Anti-Cosmo’s horror at the over-the-top tackiness of the place. It makes its first (fully-built) appearance in “Sunnie Rise”.

The echo chamber is in the “undercloud” area, in the basement.

Bonds:

Yellow - See Twis’ yellow bond section

Blue - Saturn is Energy, Sunnie is Focus. Together, as Stone, they act as though hyped up on coffee and energy drinks.It’s worth pointing out that when I say, “as Stone”, we’re not talking about Gem-like fusion here. No. The Prince of Stone has two forms- either Saturn wearing Sunnie’s favor, or Sunnie wearing Saturn’s favor. It’s usually the first way around, Saturn being more dominant by nature. It’s the same title, even though the two are different.

The personality, mannerisms, agenda, and speech pattern of the more dominant spirit will remain intact, with just a bit of influence from the lesser spirit creeping in (for example, Sunnie’s agility bonus, or Saturn’s battle training); it’s not quite as harmonious a union as Gem fusion. It’s just one spirit borrowing the other one’s powers for a boost. The other spirit is essentially along for the ride, with no ability to control the body- they merely observe the outside world from a passive standpoint while the dominant spirit draws from their energy.

Basically, imagine Saturn wearing Sunnie’s brooch, his personality intact, but hyped up on energy drinks and with the grace of a dancer. The personality is the same, but the physical condition here (energy drink influence) and level of ability (agility) are different. The Prince of Stone will work ceaselessly on whatever task you set him too, usually without getting too distracted. 

And of course, when they come apart (the more dominant spirit takes off the less dominant one’s favor), the less dominant spirit will be “pregnant” for about thirty seconds before giving birth to - you guessed it - a spirit of Stone with a personality and interests similar to whatever was just going on with its “parents”. The title of prince is reserved purely for when two demigods wear each other’s favors, though, and isn’t passed on to the energy manifestation. The “child” is simply called a minor spirit of Stone.

Pink - See Thurmondo’s pink section

Purple - See Munn’s purple section

Green - See Winni’s green section

MUNN: The Albatross, Prankster, and Traveler

Sky Years: 1992, 1999, 2006, 2013, 2020

Mastery: Sky, acceptance, compassion, hope, faith, cheer, speed, safe travel

Parentage: Reality (Tarrow) x Dark (Princess Eve)

Preferred Favor: Sapphire piercings (usually earrings), but for those uncomfortable with piercings, his favor can even manifest as headphones 

Modern Medium: Anti-Wanda (Venus) 

Overview: Munn has a cheery disposition, quick to joke and look at the bright side, though he does have his nervous moments. However, he would rarely be described as “sad”. He gets disappointed at times, but he usually shakes those feelings off without dwelling on them much. He’s just a naturally happy guy, even in very stressful situations.

Munn plays the antagonistic role in much of Anti-Fairy mythology, as he’s viewed as a prankster who often taunts other spirits and creatures and gets into trouble. As the spirit of compassion, he’s a bit backwards in Anti-Fairy society. Anti-Fairies are often kind towards each other because they’re a social species who gather in colonies, but Munn takes things too far by suggesting they make friends even with people who have wronged them, like the Fairies. Gross.

As I mentioned, his prankster nature tends to get him into trouble. He’s a spirit of scouting, stealth, and the arts of escape, and loves to learn people’s secrets. He’s not the blabbermouth that Winni is, though they have been known to team up on occasion to gather information (and do things like set up the Wind Wand on the blue moon in the Vegon system while embodying the Prince of Wind).

Munn may play the antagonistic role in much of Anti-Fairy myth, but he’s still a very nice guy. He just gets excited and puts silly plans into action that usually result in stealing someone’s sacred item and realizing as he runs off with it that yeah, he probably shouldn’t have done that. His brothers generally catch and scold him, and he gets punished for his offenses, but no one’s ever upset enough with him that they would go as far as destroying his Temple and then hunting him down and killing him. They’re still family, after all.

Still, Munn’s adventures aren’t limited to the zodiac spirits, and he appears in mythology as the guy who pulls crazy stunts such as taunting Death and opening the gates of the spirit world into the living realm. Munn is the guy who would stumble across an ancient scroll about how to resurrect the dead and then follow it because, “That would be hilarious if this actually worked”. But, being Munn, he’ll probably mix at least one of the ingredients up, and end up with more than he bargained for.

Sometimes he tries to solve problems on his own, though most of the time when he knows he’s in trouble, he’ll flee to Saturn for protection, to which Saturn’s deadpan response when his half-brother comes skidding in is, “What stupid thing did you do this time?” But, those two are very close. Most people don’t like to mess with Saturn, and will let Munn off with a warning. Most of Munn’s punishments involve Munn helping to clean up the mess he made and return anything he may have stolen, and grovel his apologies. Saturn lets them do that. He just doesn’t like people hurting his family and will step in if they’re punishments entail lots of violence, is all.

Munn is also the demigod of fast, safe, and enjoyable travel, and the guy you would want to make an offering to, perhaps along with a copy of your planned route, if you’re seeking his blessing before a journey. His field bonus is Speed. Anti-Wanda, you see, was a brilliant choice for the Anti-Fairy to sprint during the Fairy World Games. Munn’s speed bonus extends much more to flying than it does to the ground, but Anti-Wanda is still a fast little gal.

Temple: Far East (Pink) Region - Plane 7 - Comet Falls, Fairy World

The Sky Temple is hardly the place you think of first when you think “temple”. Munn cares less about being worshiped directly than he does making people happy and enjoying himself. His place tends to be a wild party all the time, and a lot of sketchy things go on here. Comet Falls is a party town as it is- it’s the place where they had the clock tower that we saw in “School’s Out: The Musical”, when all the godparents were thrilled about the change of the season for their godkids. Anti-Wanda has been able to navigate it without getting into too much trouble, though.

The echo chamber is in the upper, dome-shaped part of the building. The Sky Temple is not scheduled to make any appearances at this time, though I have a loose Prompt about Anti-Wanda planned that will probably end up there.

Bonds:

Yellow - Saturn is Energy, Munn is Acceptance. Together, as Lightning, they are the embodiment of fun and new discovery in a relationship, and their bond is viewed as one of pleasure, exploration, playfulness, excitement, and perhaps a bit of lust. Together they’re seen as spirits who represent the honeymoon phase of a relationship.

Blue -See Winni’s blue section

Pink -See Twis’ pink section

Purple - Sunnie is Focus. As Cloud, they embody everything between playful teasing and deadpan sarcasm. You basically get Sunnie with speed powers and punk piercings, never missing a beat as he roasts you. It’s worth noting that Anti-Wanda carries Munn’s favor and Anti-Cosmo carries Sunnie’s, so these two could take on their Prince of Cloud state every time their hosts decide to be intimate. 

In case you haven’t figured it out by now, this is the joke from that one Inktober piece I drew about Foop saying he just got “the talk about where clouds come from” as he stares accusingly at his parents. It’s also a very funny joke about the giant cloud that accompanied Foop’s birth.

Green - See Thurmondo’s green section

TWIS: The Donkey, Farmer, and Merchant

Soil Years: 1993, 2000, 2007, 2014, 2021

Mastery: Soil, dedication, work, ambition, planning, harvest, physical strength

Parentage: Reality (Tarrow) x Some random gravity spirit Tarrow took an interest in, but whom Twis never really knew seeing as he was abandoned after

Preferred Favor: Thick brown belt with a citrine buckle

Modern Medium: None

Overview: Twis is the “solid as a rock” archetype in Anti-Fairy myth, stubborn and proud. He’ll usually be polite, if a bit gruff, unless you offend him, in which case he’ll probably leave and not come back. He holds long grudges, even if he doesn’t act on them quite as much as Saturn. For the most part, Sunnie is the only one who can sway his mind when he’s being an especially irritable grump. 

He’s a dedicated worker who doesn’t cut corners and will get the job done and get it done well, but at his own pace. Don’t rush him. He hates to be rushed. He doesn’t like criticism, or people in general, and is reluctant to reveal himself to anyone of less authority than a High Count or High Countess born in the Soil year. With exception of relying on the sunlight and water to grow crops, he prefers to work alone and will be extremely frustrated if you try to help but you don’t measure up to his standards. He doesn’t see working with young kids as a way of teaching or bonding with them, and instead will send them off anywhere to get them out of his way. He takes pride in his work and doesn’t like it when his stuff is messed with.

Twis is the spirit of harvest too. He works in tandem with Sunnie to grow crops. He’s also a spirit of bartering, as Anti-Fairies believe that all land has life which is represented by a spirit bear. Twis, then, is the helpful spirit who carries messages to the spirit bears if someone is too embarrassed to pray to them directly. He’s the spirit who gives you strength to stand in front of a crowd, even if Winni is the spirit of communication and memory who helps you find your words and speak clearly.

Twis recognizes what people want and is always willing to put forth the effort to ensure all parties are happy. He’s the merchant spirit who is there when you strike up deals in the marketplace. He’s the careful planner who is there when you are struggling with funds and trying to stick to your budget. He’s a spirit of making deals and keeping loyal to your promises above all else. If you remember, H.P. was born in a Soil year. I think that’s fitting for the Head Pixie.

However, while Twis may be a spirit of work, budgets, and planning, he’s not so much a spirit of charity. He’s very much the ant in “The Ant and the Grasshopper”, a believer that you reap what you sow. He doesn’t enjoy straying from his plans or making sacrifices for someone he can’t prove has put forth their best effort. Of course, he doesn’t like watching these people work either, because he has things to do, nor does he like them working with him. It’s a complicated feeling. The guy just doesn’t like social interaction much, and only Sunnie seems really able to get through to him. Even that’s because Sunnie is helpful and practical, and emotionally distant.

You would think he would be a brony or something, having an affiliation with equines and all, but ain’t nobody got time for that when they live in a paradise with temperate climates year-round. There’s so much to plant and harvest! Also did I mention that he will completely work himself to exhaustion, because he will.

Temple: Lower East (Teal) Region - Plane 5 - Mudhale

The Soil Temple is built straight into a mountain, and it’s the entrance to many cave systems throughout Anti-Fairy World. It collapsed during the early years of the War of the Sunset Divide. H.P. was actually born in the year it collapsed, which is appropriately named the Year of the Fallen Mountain.

After the war, the Temple was restored to its former state. It’s in the same location and is more stable and less likely to collapse now. The echo chamber is deep in the back, among caverns of glowing mushrooms and interesting fauna. Twis doesn’t like visitors and wanted his chamber out of the way.

H.P. and Anti-Cosmo visit the Soil Temple in “Dust to Dirt”.

Bonds:

Yellow - Sunnie is Focus and Twis is Devotion. Together, as Mud, they are the embodiment of loyalty in a relationship, and their bond is viewed as one of tenderness, sweetness, warmth, and pure affection. Together they’re seen as spirits who represent companionate love (the post-honeymoon phase of a long-term relationship).

Blue - See Thurmondo’s blue section

Pink - Munn is Acceptance. As Sand, they embody peace and friendship.

Purple - See Winni’s purple section

Green - Saturn is Energy. As Ash, they embody instability and resistance. Saturn is a creature of passion, and Twis isn’t much for emotions. Saturn likes to rush, Twis likes to take things slow. Twis sees Saturn as sloppy, and Saturn sees Twis as slow. They wouldn’t kiff-tie willingly unless there was a huge emergency. They just don’t get along.

WINNI: The Leopard, Teacher, and Healer

Breath Years: 1994, 2001, 2008, 2015, 2022

Mastery: Breath, communication, health, teaching, sewing, rest, self-care

(Note: Anti-Fairies don’t believe in medicine, because it doesn’t work on them like it works on Fairies. They believe in either praying for miracles or in herbal remedies to soothe pain even if they don’t cure sickness. So instead of being the “spirit of medicine”, they consider Winni the spirit of “remedies”.)

Parentage: Reality (Tarrow) x Life (The Cycling Hen)

Preferred Favor: Beryl button or pin (Anti-Bryndin wears the button on his scarf, Foop / Hiccup would wear it on a vest or coat were they to take Winni’s favor) 

Modern Medium: None (Anti-Bryndin hosts him in Knots)

Overview: Winni is the neat-freak homemaker of the family, who cleans his echo chamber obsessively. Between his nosiness, big mouth, his obsession with cleanliness, and living in a very frequented Temple, he’s the most likely to manifest himself, but you’ll probably get a tongue bath or preening in the process. For someone who so despises dirt, it’s a little surprising that he gets along much better with Twis than he does with Sunnie. Then again, it’s mostly Sunnie that finds Winni annoying rather than the other way around. Winni is still somewhat young for a spirit, and looks up to his elder half-brothers greatly.

Even so, Winni embodies the bossy mentor archetype. What he wants done, he wants done his way, and soon. He’s a bit of a jack-of-all trades, which means that many things come easily to him, which means he struggles to understand why other people can’t seem to measure up to his standards. Though he easily gets frustrated, he tries his best to shrug things off, put on a happy smile, and once again go over his instructions in careful detail. He doesn’t mind repeating himself, but he does get upset if you don’t want to listen to him.

As the spirit of medicine and herbal remedies, Winni obviously knows what he’s doing there. However, he has his set mindset about what helps what, and isn’t good at keeping up with the allergies of individuals, or even noticing if he’s just given them a deadly poison that wouldn’t kill a nature spirit. He means well.

Winni is basically the demigod of teamwork. Sunnie much prefers to work alone. Thus, the two of them are opposites, and because Anti-Cosmo plays on Sunnie’s team, Winni is a bit of an antagonist in Knots. Doesn’t help that he’s the spirit of Communication, and he’s a people-reader and a bit of a manipulator. He’s also horribly impatient, nosy as I mentioned, and a massive blabbermouth. In his free time, he enjoys all types of knitting, weaving, sewing, and embroidery. Most of the zodiac spirits prefer offerings of food, but Winni enjoys offerings of newspapers that keep him updated on the goings-on of the outside world, and he becomes super flattered if you make cross-stitches or sew plushies for him.

His inability to keep his mouth shut most of the time may have something to do with the fact that he screams every morning like a rooster, despite the fact that the rooster is Thurmondo’s sacred animal and Winni’s is the leopard. Maybe his mom and the little Leaves spirit rubbed off on him. The way I see it, Winni’s true form is actually heavily based off a rooster because of his mom, but because he spends so much time with Thurmondo, the rooster became associated with Thurmondo instead of him.

Temple: Lower West (Green) Region - Plane 3 - Godscress, Fairy World

The Breath Temple is also known by the name Temple of Healing. It’s a place of rest and strengthening, and rapidly speeds up the healing rate of all inside it- especially for magical creatures like the Fairykind. It contains a magical fountain, because in addition to being Populous trash, I am also confirmed Age of Mythology trash and I had to reference the Healing Spring.

Winni’s echo chamber is in the middle of the giant fountain. It’s like a volcano, but with healing water.

Bonds:

Yellow - See Thurmondo’s yellow section

Blue - Munn is Acceptance. As Wind, they embody politeness and structure.

Pink - Saturn is Energy. As Lava, they embody laughter and joy.

Purple - Twis is Devotion. As Roots, they embody oaths and fierce loyalty.

Green - Sunnie is Focus. As Blood, they embody sorrow and anxiety.

THURMONDO: The Rooster, Inventor, and Caretaker

Leaves Years: 1995, 2002, 2009, 2016, 2023

Parentage: Reality (Tarrow) x Death (The Grim Reaper) 

Mastery: Leaves, curiosity, courage, initiative, understanding, mercy, humility

Preferred Favor: Jade circlet or tiara, usually of overlapping metal leaves

Modern Medium: Anti-Kyler (Rufus)

Overview: Thurmondo is absentminded, tending to get lost in his own thoughts as he thinks up new inventions, or wanders off after an interesting falling leaf. He’s the type who doesn’t mind being alone to work, though he does love people, and talking to them, as he finds them fascinating and loves to hear stories. He’s generally low-maintenance, though he’s nitpicky about special ceremonies and insulted when they aren’t done to his specifications.

Namely, Thurmondo knows his place as the youngest and submissive. He and those born in his zodiac are often followers rather than leaders. A stickler for tradition, Thurmondo becomes upset when, for example, someone born in his year attempts to lead someone of another zodiac through a ceremonial dance. Traditions like that. He’s paranoid about getting in the way and a bit superstitious that if doesn’t play his part, order and structure will collapse.

He has a shy nature, though if pushed far enough, he will make an effort to stand up for himself. Of course, the results of that effort depend on the reaction of whomever he’s standing up to. Thurmondo has a brave heart, but also a humble one, which can lead him to second-guess himself. This prevents him from rushing into battle like hot-headed Saturn, but the more Thurmondo starts to second-guess himself, the more nervous he becomes. 

He used to be bolder in his younger years, but Winni’s really done a number on him; now, Thurmondo is viewed as more of an awkward and cowardly spirit than the clever inventor he once was. He still picks at his projects, but he doesn’t spend as much time on his research as he’d like to. His 24/7 relationship with Winni keeps his mind pretty busy. He’s easily distracted and can’t split his attention between separate tasks like Sunnie can.

Thurmondo may not be the one you would seek out for advice most of the time, but he would be the one you pray to when you don’t think you can go on any longer, especially when in unpleasant circumstances like abusive relationships (not even romantic ones necessarily). Thurmondo is the spirit of pulling through, the one who wants you to succeed and escape even if he can’t.

I wrote a potential Prompt about him and Winni, but because of the nature of abuse and coercion, I’m still deciding if I ever want to share it. If I do, it will be towards the end of the project, where only those with the determination to make it through the rest are likely to find it.

He’s basically given birth zillions of time and has oodles of children. The little guys never seem to last long, though. They often get… eaten.

Temple: High North (Blue) Region - Plane 4 - Near the FGP, Fairy World

The Leaves Temple is a quiet museum at its back, and the area at the front is full of puzzles, games, toys, and stuff to experiment and play with. Lots of fun for kids. the echo chamber is on the top floor.

Thurmondo’s Temple first appears in the distance during “Cotton Candy Oatmeal”, and is later visited in “Letters and Numbers”.

Bonds:

Yellow - Winni is Communication and Thurmondo is Curiosity. Thurmondo is also the spirit of change, especially the seasons. His spring form is one of innocence and discovery, of tentativeness and losing virginity. His summer form is one full of passion and delight. His autumn form is one of uncertainty, shame, passive-aggression, and reluctance. Finally, his winter form is one of fear and struggle, the relationship between him and Winni a drastic power imbalance of lust and abuse. Every winter, Thurmondo swears he’ll keep his memories and remember what Winni is like in winter and avoid falling back into his trap, but he loses his memories on March 14th every year, and with the new year, Winni patiently teaches him that he’s a nature spirit all over again.

Together, as Oxygen, they are the embodiment of uncertainty and hope in a relationship, and their bond is viewed as one of development, learning, realization, adaptation, and teamwork. It’s worth pointing out that from Winni’s perspective, the pair are literally creating oxygen when they’re together, so when Thurmondo resists him, Thurmondo is literally strangling people who need oxygen to breathe. Additionally, as a spirit with the ability to heal at an extremely rapid rate himself, Winni has some difficulty comprehending physical pain in others. Due to the oxygen thing, he’ll freak out when Thurmondo isn’t around, and is willing to use his powers of Communication for dirty manipulative tricks to make Thurmondo feel selfish and worthless when he wants to take a break.

Winni’s winter form has a better understanding that what he’s doing is wrong and might even feel guilty for it if you press him, though he’ll still shrug it off because he thinks he’s just doing his duty. In his autumn form, he is completely 100% convinced that he’s doing the right thing and that the people need them. In his spring form, like Thurmondo, he can also be viewed as a spirit of losing virginity, though he’s the “rite of passage” and “coming into adulthood” type of losing virginity as opposed to Thurmondo’s “wanting to give it to someone you love” or “the time just feels right”, because of course he is.

Together they’re seen as spirits who represent staying together out of necessity for the benefit of their children. Abusive relationships aren’t good from a human point of view, but for Anti-Fairies, who end up in relationships with those their counterparts do, it’s comforting to know that Thurmondo is sticking it out. When they remember the abuse Thurmondo takes from Winni every winter, suddenly the faults in their own partner don’t seem so bad.

Blue - Twis is Devotion. The weirdest thing is, Thurmondo’s field bonus is Copycat. Despite being the automatically submissive spirit, he actually can influence the mindset of those he kiff-ties with. As the Prince of Mulch, Twis’ Devotion combined with Thurmondo’s Curiosity would give you Twis’ body and personality, but instead of being devoted to farming, Twis would suddenly find himself super interested in Thurmondo’s inventions and research projects. Good luck dragging him away from those.

Pink - Sunnie is Focus. Again, Thurmondo has the power to influence the spirit in control, though whether he knows he’s doing it or not is up to debate. The Prince of Dew will lose Thurmondo’s spaciness, and is instead a brilliant mastermind who will rapidly learn anything and everything about whatever you give him to study.

Purple - Saturn is Energy. The Prince of Nitrogen is fast and furious, easily distracted, and prone to running off after anything that catches his attention and tackling it into submission. He’s super touchy-feely and will poke your face.

Green - Munn is Acceptance, but he’s also the spirit of compassion. Munn is a spirit of consent and joy, and when he and Thurmondo aren’t kiff-tied, he views his youngest half-brother in his hormonal summer form. However, when they are together, the Prince of Fungus gets slammed with all of Thurmondo’s burdens and self-doubts, and becomes overwhelmed with grief and shame. Munn doesn’t know how to deal with Thurmondo’s emotions, so the Prince of Fungus shuts down, withdrawing into himself and being mostly unresponsive, apart from the occasional snarky comment. He’s not too helpful and has a scathing outlook on the world at all times.

It’s super rare for Thurmondo to kiff-tie with other nature spirits, though, considering the hold Winni has on him. I can’t imagine any situation in my works when it would come up. Thurmondo’s fate is pretty set, and this post is simply here for you to think about the different possibilities that could result. But you shouldn’t really expect to see them in practice.

Here’s an overview zodiac kiff-tie chart. The background color of each box shows the color of the bond. The color of the text is the default dominant spirit.

There you go! That basically covers everything you could possibly need to know about the zodiac spirits! Whom you won’t be seeing until like Act 3, but okay, you do your thing and I’ll do mine.

[afflatusafrica]

Book Summary_ The 48 laws of Power by Robert Greene

Power is an integral part of our societies and lives. In “The 48 Laws of Power”, Robert Greene distills 3,000 years of history into 48 laws to help us understand how we can masterfully acquire power and avoid being manipulated or crushed by others. In this summary, we’ll briefly outline the 48 laws of power. For the full details, examples and tips, do get a copy of the book, or get a detailed overview at a glance with our complete book summary bundle.

No one likes being powerless, yet we don’t take well to power-hungry people due to our modern ideologies of fairness, equity etc. It’s important to realize that power is amoral—it’s neither good nor evil. You can choose how to use power once you have it, but it’d be foolish to dismiss power as bad or unimportant. In fact, there’s much that we can learn from the masterful scheming of the aristocratic courts of the past—those who can subtly charm, deceive and manipulate without others’ awareness can rise to power without others’ resentment or resistance.

Greene encourages us to think of power-play as a game. You can use this book to learn about power in general, or study and reflect deeply upon the ideas to truly understand people and the world you live in.

• Don’t judge people by their declared intentions, but the actual outcomes of their actions. People who claim to reject power due to moral values are often the true manipulators (or are simply naïve).

• To master the game of power, you must fundamentally shift your perspective, learn and practice new skills including the ability to master your emotions (so they won’t cloud your judgement), objectively examine the past and future (to learn and identify problems) and accept deception and masquerade as a part of human interaction (not something immoral or ugly).

The 48 Laws of Power Book Summary_overview

LAW 1: NEVER OUTSHINE THE MASTER.

• In your quest to impress the people above you, don’t flaunt your talents too much. If your superiors feel insecure, they’ll find ways to replace you. Even if you’re currently in favor, don’t take it for granted as you can easily fall out of favor with the wrong moves.

• Instead, make those above you seem superior and smarter than you, e.g. ask for their help and attribute your ideas to their great advice. Give them the limelight rather than outshine them.

LAW 2: DON’T OVERTRUST YOUR FRIENDS. USE YOUR ENEMIES.

• Don’t hire your friends for familiarity or as a favor. Friends are more likely to envy and betray you, and also limit your power since it’s harder to keep a professional distance. It’s better to hire people with the skills and competencies to advance your interests.

• In fact, your enemies can be more useful; use them to create a sense of danger or rally people to your cause. If you can win over a former enemy, he’ll also have more to prove and is likely to be more loyal than a friend.

LAW 3: MASK YOUR INTENTIONS.

• Many people are open books: they can’t control what they say or they mistakenly believe that honesty can win hearts. It’s better to retain the upper hand by hiding your goal till you’re ready to strike.

• Here are 2 effective tactics to conceal your true purpose:

(i) Throw people off the scent by pretending to support an idea or position that’s opposed to your true interest. Or, share a heartfelt thought on something unimportant—people will mistake your sincerity for honesty and believe you when you lie later on.

(ii) Distract and misdirect people with a smoke screen. Show them something they’re familiar with so they’ll let down their guard and be led in the direction you want them to go, without realizing your true intent. Combine this with other smoke screens e.g. a poker-face, noble gesture, or setting a pattern (then breaking it later).

LAW 4: ALWAYS SAY LESS THAN NECESSARY.

• The more you say, the less impressive and in-control you seem to be and the higher the chance that you’d say something foolish.

• Powerful people tend to say little. This makes them impressive and intimidating; people can’t guess what they’re thinking and hang on to their every word and reaction. Short answers and silences also put people on the defensive; when they try to fill the silence by talking, they give away useful information.

REMAINING LAWS : THE 48 LAWS OF POWER

Here’s a quick overview of the remaining 44 laws. For more details, do get the book or our complete book summary.

Law 5: Protect your reputation at all costs, since your reputation shapes others’ expectations.

Law 6: Be conspicuous & stand out. Bad publicity is still publicity.

Law 7: Get others to do the work and take the credit. Save your time/energy while building your base.

Law 8: Make people come to you, so you hold all the cards.

Law 9: Win through actions, not argument. Prove your point without offending people.

Law 10: Don’t get infected by misery and misfortune. Associate with positive, successful people.

Law 11: Make yourself indispensable, so it’s harder to cut you off.

Law 12: Disarm people with strategic honesty & generosity–use these as tools to win people over.

Law 13: Get help by appealing to self-interest, not goodness.

Law 14: Be a spy. Gather intelligence to know your opponents.

Law 15: Crush your enemy totally. Don’t give them a chance to recover.

Law 16: Raise your value through absence and scarcity. Don’t let people take you for granted.

Law 17: Keep others in suspense by being unpredictable. Keep them second-guessing.

Law 18: Don’t isolate yourself behind a fortress. Have eyes and ears everywhere.

Law 19: Know your opponents and who you’re dealing with.

Law 20: Stay neutral as long as possible to maintain your independence (vs committing to 1 side).

Law 21: Make your victims feel smarter than you, so they drop their guard.

Law 22: Use surrender as a tool. Bide your time for retaliation.

Law 23: Concentrate your forces. Don’t spread them too thin.

Law 24: Be a masterful courtier to balance the various players and power brokers.

Law 25: Create your own identity and use it like a costume.

Law 26: Don’t dirty your hands. Get others to do your dirty work.

Law 27: Create a cult-like following. Play on what people want to see/hear.

Law 28: Act boldly, so you seem confident.

Law 29: Plan till the end, so you won’t be caught by surprise.

Law 30: Make your achievements seem effortless. Don’t show your real success secrets.

Law 31: Control the options but let people think they’re in control.

Law 32: Play to people’s fantasies so they keep following you.

Law 33: Find your opponent’s fatal weakness to break their defences.

Law 34: Act in the way you want to be treated. Be regal and authoritative.

Law 35: Master the art of timing. Strike only at the right hour.

Law 36: Feign disinterest and ignore what you can’t have.

Law 37: Dazzle people with spectacles so they don’t see what you’re really doing.

Law 38: Hide your unorthodox thinking. Pretend to blend in.

Law 39: Stir up waters to catch the fish. Make your opponents reckless while you stay calm.

Law 40: Beware the free lunch. There’re always strings attached.

Law 41: Chart a new course rather than try a big man’s shoes.

Law 42: Strike the shepherd to scatter the sheep. Isolate the leader.

Law 43: Win both hearts and minds. Appeal to both feelings and logic.

Law 44: Unbalance and confuse with the mirror effect (mask reality with illusion).

Law 45: Introduce change gradually. Drastic reforms bring resistance.

Law 46: Don’t seem too perfect or you’ll invite jealousy.

Law 47: Don’t push too far in victory. Know when to stop.

Law 48: Be formless and unpredictable.

For each of the laws, Greene presents a range of stories and examples involving kings, emperors, nobility and famous people from various countries and cultures over 3000 years of history. These examples range from court politics and power struggles to courtship and warfare. Greene systematically lays out the laws, interpretation of the laws, stories to illustrate these laws and the exceptions to the laws if any.