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pandaponderart · 3 years ago

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Underrated Anime Part 1:

Hello my fellow Weebs, I’m back for some more Anime blogging, this time to talk about so not so well known ones. Some that have got forgotten with time, some that new Anime fans have maybe never heard of and the ones that I feel deserve more love and recognition. I’ve been watching Anime for about 13 years so I’ve seen a lot so this will be in at least 3 parts, so hopefully you like this and look forward to more. Til then enjoy, hope you can find some new anime you’ve never heard of thanks for reading and look forward to part 2!.

1. Azumanga Daioh(2002)

Starting off with an older Anime, and one of the best and earlier comedy, slice of life Anime that paved the way for a lot of other Anime in the same genre like Nichijou and Daily Lives of High School Boys. Off the wall and highly unrealistic, this comedy is completely over the top in the best way possible. it’s old but gold and should be crowned as one of the best comedy Anime to exist.

With the most lovable cast, you have Chiyo the 5th grader who is so crazy smart she gets placed in a high school class, then there’s Osaka, who’a real name is Ayumu Kasuga who’s named that because she‘s from Osaka. Osaka isn’t the smartest and neither is her other classmate Tomo Takino who will do anything to avoid studying. Then to balance out the cast is Koyomi Mizuhara aka Yomi, the smart one who keeps everyone in line and Kagura the sporty one. Then of course can’t forget to mention the teachers Yukari Sensei who is anything but the normal responsible teacher and to balance her out Minamo Sensei the responsible one. There’s no real plot with Azumanga Daioh but there’s not meant to be it’s just an over the top comedy slice of life, with moments that will make you laugh from your gut. It’s all about the characters and the ridiculous situations their put in and each one is a lovable idiot that really drives the show. Give this one a shot if you want a show that will put a big smile on your face the whole way through.

2. Eden of The East (2009)

Another older Anime, not everything on this list will be older Anime but there’s so many good ones like this!. Eden of The East is an action, mystery with elements of romance with one of the most unique stories I’ve seen in Anime. It’s a short watch being only eleven episodes with two movies following after which I recommend watching because they continue the story. I’m really surprised not more people know or talk about this show but it need to be talked about more!.

With one of the funniest and most bizarre starts to an Anime, our lead charcter Saki is on a trip to Washington D.C, when she gets in trouble for throwing a coin in the White House’s fountain she’s saved by a naked man who claims to be a terrorist. Not only is this mysterious man naked and claims to be a terrorist, he also has amnesia and is carrying a phone with 8.2 million dollars. Saki befriends this strange man and throughout the story they try to uncover more of his past, his involvment in an incident called careless monday and a dangerous death game with other players. They must also spend all of the money as instucted by the mysterious voice in the phone Juiz as well as try to save the world.

3. R.O.D The TV( 2003)

Ok I know I said this list wouldn’t only be older Anime but I guess the older Anime just has my heart and this one has a special place in mine. One of my all time favorites and one of the earliest Anime I saw and it still holds up to me til this day. It is hands down probably the most underrated show on this entire list and if you only watch one of these Anime please make it this one. The story is completely original, the characters are complex and endearing, there’s action, heartwarming moments, comedy and mystery, I wish there was more Anime like it, it deserves to be a classic.

It‘s a one of a kind show about the paper sisters Michelle, the oldest bubbly bookworm, Maggie the seemingly intimidating quiet giant. Then you have the youngest sister Anita who unlike her sisters hates books, she’s a bit rough around the edges but loves her sisters. Although they aren’t actually sisters they have a detective agency to help find lost books to help pay for rent while also doing odd jobs like being body guards. Their first assignment is to protect the author, Nenene Sumiragawa who is being threatened to be killed at her book signing. The paper sisters aren’t called that just because of their love of books, they can turn paper into weapons and whatever else they please, but each having their speciality. Nenene finds out they‘re paper sisters just like her friend who ‘s missing, Yomiko Readman and asks them for help finding her. They try to help Nenene find her friend, while solving other cases and saving the world with the power of paper.

4. Baccano(2007)

Probably the most well known but also I think one of the most under appreciated Anime, from Durarara’s creator, Baccano. I feel like most newer Anime fans won’t know this one and although it’s a beloved series by many, I still feel it’s underrated. Also another bias opinion shocker, it’s one of my absolute favorites but that’s why it’s here. It’s once again a shorter anime with only 13 episodes but it somehow manages to combine all of the storylines cohesively, it’s a wild ride full of mystery, murder, and magic that will keep you on board the entire time trying to piece everything together. Also warning it jumps around a lot so make sure to pay attention everything pieces together!.

Based in the 1930’s in the prohibition era you have several stories involving different characters going on but they‘re all connected to one thing the transcontinental train, the flying pussyfoot. Yes that’s actually the name of the train, why, still no idea but all these characters from different walks of life end up here somehow. Now to introduce some of these crazy characters, first off the goofy thieves in love Isaac and Miria, who aren’t the brightest but can steal just about anything. Lad Russo the sadistic hit man who loves to see people die, including fantasizing about killing his fiancé one day. Then you have the ones involved in gangs, all In different ones, but nonetheless involved in some sort of crime. First there’s Firo, the youngest of the Martello family and one of the immortals in the show, then there’s Jacuzzi Splot and his partner Nice, Jacuzzi is a big wimp and crybaby but will protect his loved ones with all he’s got and Nice is a bomb expert and his childhood food. Those are some of the main characters it’s such a large cast it’s hard to name and explain them all. This one is a must watch especially if you liked Durarara, jump on the hype train of this wild show.

5. Black Cat (2005)

Now quick disclaimer before I begin talking about this one, I haven’t watched this in years so it may not hold up as well as I’m remembering but when I watched it I really enjoyed it so that’s why it’s here. This was one of the earlier Anime I watched I’m pretty sure my friend showed me it but it caught my interest from the beginning. It’s not the most groundbreaking show to exist and I’ve heard that the manga is apparently better but that’s for almost every show. It’s got cool action, funny moments and a great cast of characters, plus not gonna lie I had a crush on train when I was younger. its just a fun show and definitely worth giving a watch!

Train Heartnett is an infamous cold blooded assassin who works for the organization Chronos, and because of his lack of empathy for killing he’s named Black Cat. But after a chance encounter with a bou hunter named Saya Minatsuki, they become friends and Train decided he wants to leave Chronos to pursue an honest living as a bounty Hunter. However chronos and particular his fellow member Creed Diskenth are not pleased with this and try to get Train to rejoin Chronos. Along the way Train teams up with fellow bounty hunter on the brink of broke Sven, the bio mech weapon and little girl Eve and master thief and seductress Rinslet Walker. Together they try to escape from Chronos and get enough money for their next .

6. Arakawa Under The Bridge(2010)

Where do I begin with this one first off, this is one of the weirdest Anime I’ve ever seen but just like Azumanga Daioh that’s what make it so good. Beautifully animated by Studio Shaft with some of the most colorful and visually appealing animation I’ve seen, it’s pure eye candy. it’s equally as strange as it is hilarious and it’s just a fun time that’s not meant to be taken seriously. So if you want a good laugh and something thats truly one of a kind in story and characters give this crazy show a shot.

The show begins with one of our main characters Kou Ichinomiya getting stuck by his underwear on a bridge by some kids, he falls into the river and is saved by a mysterious girl. Kou is the son of a wealthy businessman and his life motto is to not be indebted to anyone, so when he’s saved by this girl he asks what he can do. He finds out that her name is Nino and what she wants is to fall in love, so she asks Kou to be her boyfriend. At first Nino seems like a regular girl but she claims to be an alien from Venus and lives in a box under the bridge, not wanting to be in debt Kou agrees and begins living under the bridge with Nino. However Nino isn’t the only one who lives under the bridge there are many other strange characters like hoshi, the aspiring musician who wears a star on his head, and the captain who’s a human in a kappa suit. I highly suggest watching this strange sci-fi romantic comedy for something different and fun to watch.

7. 91 Days (2016)

The newest Anime on this list so far, see I told you it wouldn’t be only old ones!, this is also the darkest Anime on this list so far. This has been highly overlooked since it’s release in 2016, it reminds me of baccano and in parts like death note. If you like mafia movies or just a dark gritty story with some light hearted moments, it s short show but nothing is rushed and it’s solid from front to back and keeps you on the edge of your seat.

Just like Baccano, 91 Days takes place in the prohibition era in a town called Lawless where crime is rampant and illegal alcohol sales are thriving. In this town our protagonist Aviicio‘s family is killed by one of the mafia families, The Vanetti Family. He receives a mysterious anonymous letter telling him to return to lawless to infiltrate The Vanetti Family. He tries to befriend the families son Nero, to find an opportunity for revenge, the story keep you constantly guessing if they’ve truly become friends or if he’ll kill him. Please watch this wonderful mafia crime drama of friend vs foe.

8. Yamada Kun and The Seven Witches (2015)

This is one of the ones that I still really want to read the manga for because I just couldn’t get enough of it! i’m still hoping for a sequel one day! The premise of body swapping has been done many times in Anime and cinema as a whole but this one adds a unique enough of a twist to keep it fresh and interesting. I looked forward to watching this weekly each week meeting a learning about each new witch and learning what power they had.

Ryuu Yamada is a high school delinquent who wants a fresh start at a new school, despite the intention to start with a clean slate he soon falls into old habits of laziness and getting into fights. One day he trips on the stairs which leads to an accidental kiss with fellow student Urarara Shiraishi which causes them to switch bodies. Another student Toranosuke Miyamura learns that they can switch bodies and recruits them to his Supernatural Studies club. There they learn about the other seven witches that all have different powers

9. Arslan Senki (2015-2016)

The second to last of the list comes from the creator of my all time favorite Anime Fullmetal Alchemist, while it’s a very different series and not quite as good as FMA it’s still deserves a spot on this list and deserves your time. It’s hard not to compare it to FMA but it really is it’s own thing, and it actually came out before Fullmetal, it’s a historical drama about war and strategy and a character growing into his potential. Just as Hiromu Arakawa is known for there’s still some comedic moments and some great character development and a well done story, Plus if you like this there’s two seasons so there more to enjoy.

Ok I promise from this point forward I won‘t say anything more about Fullmetal Alchemist this is about Arslan Senki, here’s the story. In the year 320 the Kingdom of Pars is at war with the neighboring kingdom Lusitania. Pars is ruled by the ruthless king Andrangoras III who has a son who’s the complete opposite of him Arslan. Although he doesn’t know how to fight Arslan tries to prove his worth by joining the battle, but things take a turn for the worst when one of the kings officials betrays him. The once prosperous Kingdom of Pars is seized, and since Arslan is the kings son he must flee to avoid capture. So he sets off with his loyal bodyguard Daryun to find allies to help take back the kingdom. Knowing that Arslan is still alive he is still faced with pursuers from other kingdoms and the head of the Lusitania army, a mysterious man with a silver mask who knows a secret that could jeopardize Arslan‘s succession to the throne. Arslan is a gentle, kind person that doesn’t enjoy fighting, he must learn to fight and protect himself and gain the courage to lead an army to regain his home.

10. Shingeki No Bahamut: Genesis (Rage of Bahamut) (2014)

Leaving one of the best for last, not to be confused with the popular series with a similar name Shingeki no Kyojin(Attack on Titan) this show is just as good. One of the first shows from one of my favorite Anime studios, Studio Mappa. I had low expectations when I heard this was a card game adaptation from a new anime studio but I decided to check it out despite that and it was the best decision. This has all the elements of a great anime, the beautiful animation, the unique characters and the compelling story and all the cool action scenes are just a plus. There is a second season too but I’ll leave that for another time, ok time to stop gushing about this wonderful show, time for the story!.

Years and years ago the ancient powerful dragon Bahamut reeked havoc on Mistarcia, a land where gods and demons lived harmoniously with humans. The gods and demons manage to seal away Bahamut with the god key and agree to split it to keep him sealed. Now that the the peace has been restored we meet the main characters and one of my favorites the orange Afro haired bounty hunters Favaro Leone. Favaro is constantly on the run from his adversary and fellow bounty hunter Kaiser Lidfard who‘s main purpose in life is to get revenge on him. One day both of their lives are thrown into chaos when they meet the mysterious girl Amira who holds half of the god key sealing Bahamut and wants help reaching the land of Helheim. I also can’t forget to mention my other favorite character and the fourth member of this unlikely crew Rita the zombie necromancer little girl she is just the definition of cool. Then there’s the characters that want to steal the god key the demon Azazel and the knight Jean D’Arc who are constantly in the characters way but you’ll find out more about them in the show. These unlikely heroes must face the threat of the battle of gods and demons, the pursuers of the god key and incoming threat of Bahamut awakening.

#anime #anime gif #anime blog #blog #art blog #blog post #new blog #azumanga daioh #manga #baccano #91 days #eden of the east #arakawa under the bridge #black cat #yamada kun to 7 nin no majo #R.O.D the tv #r.o.d #digital art

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insistonyourcupofstars · 2 years ago

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I am gonna ask you for the full van der humphrey gang: lily, rufus, dan, serena, eric, jenny, AND scott 😘

ooooohhh fun!!!!

alright *cracks knuckles* let's see...

Lily

I quite like Lily. She isn't a character I have too strong opinions on, but I find her to be an interesting character. While I don't agree with her parenting, I find her relationship with Serena and Eric to be compelling. Her speech in 4.10 made me a bit emotional, and as much as I don't agree with her parenting choices (if I have not made it clear enough), I still see her reasoning.

Rufus

My feelings about Rufus are... fickle. It's like, I like him at certain times, and other times he grinds my nerves. I feel that his parenting and how it affected Dan and Jenny wasn't as beneficial as it was presented. That said, I don't... have a STRONG dislike for him because I do believe he has good intentions (even though Hell is paved with those). I just think that he was stifling. I also think he projected A LOT on Dan, especially when he was with Blair. Don't get me started in Rufus and Jenny. He was too hard on her! Rufus just had so many personal issues he tried to get away from his kids, but instead, he made things worse. So, as you can see, I clearly have no strong opinions on Rufus lol (also I will not talk about s6 Rufus. that season I'd fake).

Dan

He's my pretty princess, my babygirl, my personified blanket of warmth. There are so many meta pieces that the mutuals of myth (@terrainofheartfelt , @mysteriesofloves , @strideofpride , and @jochase) have written, so I'm not even going to try right now. That said, Dan is one of those characters that how you view them is CRUCIAL to whether or not you like them (not that anyone could dislike him. That's ridiculous and is not permitted on this blog <3). He is complex in a way that I feel is different from generic complex characters (such as ch*p, or other anti-hero/ bad boy characters that shows directed towards my generation are so taken with). He has issues, so many issues, but that doesn't stop him from doing his best or doing what's right. And that is what matters. That is important. Also, for as much crap as he gets for his style, I have to say I love it. It's nice and cozy and makes me want to give him a hug.

Serena

Serena Van der Woodsen is my precious darling, and I will hear no guff! I know over in our little corner of the fandom (beloveds) Serena isn't treated like trash, but ooooooohhhh it stills makes me tense and heated when I hear Serena slander. She had some much that the writers could have done for her instead of constantly pinning her against Blair or Lily, or putting her with the guest star of the week. Serena is so much more than people give her credit for. She is intelligent, cultured, and lovely. That said, she can also be insecure, selfish, and ignorant. But does that make her any less deserving of love and and respect as a human being? No! *grumbles incoherently*

Eric (❤)

If you want to understand my personality, it is Eric Van der Woodsen. This kid goes through So Much, but he continued to be there for his friends and family. When Jenny had treated him like shit, did he leave her to drown in her own problems? No, he moved past his hurt and he talked to her and made sure that she knew she had someone to talk to. Eric had too little screen time and he deserved SO MUCH MORE! I don't really post much about him, but he is the only character that I put above my blorbos, Blair and Dan. But along with being a deep and beautiful character, he had such bitchy humor, and I will forever love him for that. Anyway, 12/10, live of my life, one of the only tv show characters I truly connect with.

Scott

They really created such an important character to half of the cast's family, and then said "who?". I really don't have much to say about Scott, but he really did deserve more than being created for a drama ploy.

#thank you for sending friend!#lily van der woodsen #rufus humphrey #daniel 'bleeding heart' humphrey #serena van der woodsen #eric van der woodsen #scott rossen #?#the fact that the tags didn't even know him pisses me off

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world-of-puppets · 4 years ago

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Puppetry Lost Media

In honour of reaching 50 followers last week (now 55 followers, as of writing this) I decided to cover two subjects of great interest to me: puppetry (of course) and lost media.

Everybody online loves a good old bit of lost media. Whether it be being a part of the many searches for the media in question, or watching documentaries about them on sites like YouTube. I’ve been mildly addicted to the latter kind of content for a while. From what I’ve seen, though, there aren’t many videos or articles out there specifically covering lost puppetry. So, in no particular order, here are a couple of pieces of lost puppetry I found while scrolling through the lost media wiki.

銀河少年隊 - Ginga shounen-tai AKA Galaxy Boy Troop (1963 - 1965)

Osamu Tezuka is one of the most pioneering figures in Japanese art and animation. Starting as a manga artist in the 1940s inspired by the animated works of American studios such as Walt Disney and the Fliecer Brothers, he adapted and simplified many of the stylistic techniques of both artists to create his own signature style of big shiny eyes, physics defying hair and limited animation. A style that would go on to heavily influence the world of anime and manga as a whole.

But animation and graphic art were not the only mediums Tezuka would dabble in. Ginga Shounen-Tai, or Galaxy Boy Troop in english, was a television series that aired on the public broadcast channel NHK from April 7th, 1963 to April 1st, 1965. Running for 2 seasons with a total of 92 episodes.

The series was a mixture of marionette characters that utilised the Supermarionation marionette technique, popularised by Jerry Anderson’s Thunderbirds, and limited traditional animation. The story revolves around a child genius named Roy who leads a rag-tag group of heros around the galaxy in a rocket ship in order to revive the earth’s sun and later protect it from alien invaders.

Out of the 92 episodes that aired, only episode 67 still exists in its entirety with French subtitles, and the full episode can be found on YouTube with English subtitles uploaded by user Rare TezukaVids. According to user F-Man on the Tezuka in English forums, footage of episode 28 exists but with no audio, and episode 87’s animated segments exist without the marionette segments. F-Man also claims the reason for Galaxy Boy Troop’s disappearance is due to Tezuka not being proud of the series and having all episodes of it destroyed.

Personally, I think it’s a shame that pretty much all of this series is gone. From what I’ve seen in episode 67, it looks really charming. Tezuka’s signature character design style was adapted suprisingly well to marionettes, and the puppetry itself isn’t that bad either. I love the little face mechanisms like the blinking eyes, flapping mouths and others. It gives the puppets a lot of personality and charm. Like, just look at this old mans eyebrow mechanism and tell me you wouldn’t want to watch 92 episodes of this show;

Tinseltown (2007)

Tinseltown was a 15 minute sitcom pilot created by the Jim Henson company under thier Henson Alternative banner. The pilot was commissioned by the Logo Network and aired as part of the Alien Boot Camp programming block in 2007.

The pilot (and likely the series, had it been picked up by the logo network) features a cast of both puppets and live actors as characters. The premise revolves around Samson Kight, an anthropomorphic bull preformed by Brian Henson and drew Massey, and his partner Bobby Vegan, an anthropomorphic pig prefomed by Bill Barretta and Michelan Sisti, as they attempt to balance thier lives working in Hollywood with life as parents to thier sullen 12-year-old foster son, Foster, played by Paul Butcher. Other human characters included Mia Sara as Samson’s ex-wife Lena and Francesco Quinn as the family’s manservant Arturo.

The Tinseltown pilot used to be available on the Logo Network’s YouTube channel, but was later removed for unknown reason. Since then, the pilot has not been made available online. However the characters Samson and Bobby have made appearances in other Henson related works, such as the improv stage show Stuffed and Unstrung, where they played the role as the shows producers, and in a 2011 video on the Jim Henson Company YouTube channel celebrating Jim Hensons 75th birthday.

I find Tinseltown pretty interesting as I feel like it should be more noateable or known, considering that this is (as far as my knowledge goes) the first Jim Henson Company project featureing openly lgbtq characters as its leads, and would have been the first Henson show to do so had it been picked up. As someone who’s interested in lgbtq+ representation in creative media such as animation, I realised that there’s not many examples of canon lgbt characters in puppetry. The only ones aside from Samson and Bobby I could think off the top of my head would be Deet’s Dads from The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance and Rod from Avenue Q. Though, obviously, there could be more I’m not currently aware of. I don’t think the Tinseltown pilot was a masterpiece or anything. After all, there’s probably a couple of good reasons Logo didn’t pick it up for a full series. But I think it be cool if either Henson co. or Logo made this available online again, if just so we could appericate it as an interesting little footnote in the history of lgbtq rep in puppetry.

With that said, considering the pilot’s obscurity and the fact that it’s main couple haven’t been used in any Henson Related projects in almost ten years, as well as the possibility that there may be legalities preventing the Henson company from releasing it such as Logo still owning the rights, it’s unlikely we’ll see the Tinseltown pilot anytime soon.

Sonic Live in Sydney (1997 - 2000)

Sonic the Hedgehog is a fictional character no stranger to multiple interpretations of him and his universe across a diverse range of media. From the more light-hearted and comedic stylings of The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog and Cartoon Networks Sonic Boom cartoon series, to more serious faire such as the Sonic SatAM cartoon and the Sonic Adventure videogame duology. One of the more obscure and stranger adaptations of the character came in the form of Sonic Live in Sydney, a one an a half hour live show hosted at the former Sega World Sydney amusement park in Darling Harbor, Sydney, Australia. Originally beginning as a live show with actors in meet-and-greet style costumes, the show eventually was replaced with a puppet show during its last two years.

The shows plot was set in an alternate timeline whos continuity was a mix of the SatAM cartoon and Sonic the Hedgehog 3, where Doctor Robotnik’s Death Egg crash lands in Sydney, Australia instead of Angel Island and attempts to take over before being foiled by sonic and friends. According to Phillip Einfeld of Phillip Einfeld Puppetoons, the company that made the puppets, Sega felt the costumed actor version of the show wasn’t dynamic enough, and wished to replace it with a version featuring live puppets with animatronics. Both versions of the shows plot are identical.

While Sonic Live in Sydney’s soundtrack is available on YouTube, and some photos of the show are available on the Lost Media Wiki, no footage of either the costumed actors version or the puppet show version have resurfaced. The show was closed down in 1999, possibly due to cost, shortly before the Sega World park as a whole in 2000. So unless there is someone out there who viseted the show between 1998 or 1999 who recorded the show via a handheld camera, footage of both incarnations of the show are likely forever lost to time.

On a personal note, I don’t have much to say on this one other than how gloriously peek gaudy 90s Sonic the set/puppet design is. I have no doubt finding footage of these puppets in action would truly be a silly delight to behold...

Legend of Mary (year unknown)

This one is a little different from the other entries on this list as while the film itself in its entiraty is available on YouTube for anyone to view, the information surrounding Legend of Mary, specifically its year of release, remains a mystery as of writing this.

I have mentioned the film before on this blog so I’ll keep it brief here: in summary, Legend of Mary is a short film retelling of the Nativity featuring the Rod puppets of Austrian puppeteer Richard Teschner. the video was uploaded to YouTube by user canada 150 archive. I looked up the people credited in the film and was able to find most of them, but didn’t find Legend of Mary listed in thier credits, and was unable to find the film on sites like IMDB, tMDB or Letterboxd. I reached out to Canada 150 archive asking if they had any info regarding the Legend of Mary’s release date, and after a coupe of months, they replied saying they didn’t know.

And that’s as far as I got on my search for answers, if anyone of you guys has any information regarding Legend of Mary, then it be of huge help in finding the release date.

Sam and friends (1955 - 1961)

Sam and friends was the very first puppetry television series created by Jim Henson alongside his colabarator and future wife Jane Nebel. filmed in Washington, D.C. and airing twice daily on WRC-TV and the NBC affiliate in Washington, D.C. from May 9, 1955, to December 15, Sam and Friends would mark the first apperence of Kermit (though not yet as a frog) and paved the way for Henson’s iconic and revered legacy in the realm of puppetry on film and television.

With the impact this show had in mind, it may come as a shock to some that almost half of Sam and Friends, specifically, 42 of the 86 episodes, are considered lost. With 16 existing, 8 documented, 9 known from memory, plus 8 existing Esskay commercials and 1 memory-known Esskay commercial. Some taped episodes have been shown at venues such as the museum of the moving image while others have been erased. It’s unknown if copies of these erased episodes still exist.

This post would become far to long if I were too list every episode missing from Sam and Freinds, but if your curious, the lost media wiki article has a comprehensive list of all lost episodes.

Annnd that about it for this post. This type of content is pretty different from the stuff I usually post. So I’m egar to see what you guys think about it. If you enjoyed this article, want to see more like it or have ideas for what puppetry-related topics I should cover in the future. And again, thank you all so much for helping me reach 55 followers. Your support really does mean a lot to me, and I hope you enjoyed this as a follower milestone gift.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed this dip into lost puppetry, and have a happy holiday season!

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teawithshruti · 4 years ago

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How did I keep myself sane amidst a pandemic - My thoughts on books, anime, and restaurants.

Yet another review of The Shining

A plot so well written you would want to go in room 217

Hi there! This blog comes to you from a bored 19 year old who has a knack for reading crime thrillers, watching murder documentaries, and loves watching MasterChef just to see Gordon Ramsay. LOL. And did I mention that she also happens to be a Stephen King fan, because who isn’t? So here is where I try and convince you that The Shining is the best book ever written and how Stanley Kubrick completely butchered the screenplay, as well as why pasta is life.

Welcome to the Rockies!

The story takes place in the town of Boulder, Colorado, where our main protagonist Jack Torrance gets a job as a caretaker of the famous Overlook Hotel. Winters in Boulder are harsh, and the hotel remains closed as travel is not permitted with all the heavy snowfall. Now Jack is a recovering alcoholic with anger issues which led to him breaking his son’s arm prior to where the story begins. This made Wendy, his wife, question her marriage and the safety of their five year old son, Danny. Danny on the other hand isn’t your average five year old who just watches cartoons and plays with toys. He is aglow with a psychic voltage, and has frequent blackouts. In the words of old Mr Hallorann, the hotel’s head chef, Danny’s a shiner. When the Torrances meet Mr Hallorann, he feels an instant connection with Danny. He warns Jack about the hotel and its sinister secrets and how the previous caretaker, Delbert Grady, killed himself and his family. But Jack is sure that this huge and lonely hotel with its splendid views is just what he needs in order to earn back his family’s trust. But going to a haunted hotel with a troubled marriage and a psychic son? Maybe not the best idea. But in his defense, Jack doesn't believe in ghosts. Little does he know that’s about to change.

Snowbound at The Overlook

The Torrance's begin settling in the Overlook. But as winter closes in and the blizzards cut them off from the outer world, the hotel seems to develop a life of its own. Meanwhile, Jack starts growing restless, craving for a friendly drink with each passing day. He also starts experiencing hallucinations, and wonders if they are withdrawal symptoms. Danny on the other hand is experiencing his own share of ghostly sightings, like the terrifying lady in the bathtub of room 217 who seems to have never checked out of the hotel. In one instance, he witnesses her climbing out of the clawfoot tub and advancing towards him with her bloated belly and dry hair as he stands frozen in fear in a blood covered presidential suite. This narrative by King with all its details is the truly the most spine tingling I’ve ever read. Later when Danny’s parents find him in the room, a thumb in his mouth, that is when Wendy truly realizes that they are not alone in that strange big hotel. Jack goes and sees the tub for himself, but the lady from before doesn't want to greet him. Wendy, in tears, sees that both her husband and her son are being tormented by this place and begs Jack to quit the job. Danny later calms his mom down, who is weeping uncontrollably, by telling her not to worry as his daddy doesn't have the shining, so there is nothing to worry about.

Have you never heard of REDRUM?

Sure you have. Read it backwards. Yes, you got it right. And so did Danny after seeing this word in his visions countless times. It so turns out that Danny is much stronger than he looks and after failing to possess him, The Overlook has turned to an easier target - Jack. As Jack slowly starts to lose his mind, he gives in and starts drinking again from the bar in the ballroom. His hallucinations keep getting worse to the point he actually sees Mr Grady, the previous caretaker / murderer, and even has a talk with him. Danny sees his changing behavior and so does his wife, who just doesn't see the man she fell in love with in his cold, distant eyes anymore. With everything going on, Wendy takes Danny to their apartment in the employee wing of the hotel and locks them inside in fear of Jack, who is slowly slipping away from reality. But turns out this move from her proves to be disastrous, as Wendy keeping Jack away from his own son is the last straw for him. In one of his many hallucinations, Jack meets his predecessor, his buddy Mr. Grady and the two have a disturbing conversation about how fun it is to kill your wife. Yes , no one trumps King when it comes to the unique combination of horror and psychological thrillers packed into one nail-biting plot!

In other words...

The only thing I liked about the movie was Jack Nicholson’s excellent acting. Apart from that Stanley Kubrick let go of many crucial parts which were essential to the story. He eliminated the hedge sequence in the book, which was terrifying to just read. The ending was just a complete mess. I get that you can’t exactly get all the details right of a 500 page book, but at least do justice to the ones you have chosen. Anyways I’m gonna go sulk in my room over this. Bye

Is it too late to start Anime?

Hi there! Good to have you back! Ever since pandemic began, everyone’s been locked in their own house. So this led to me taking up a few hobbies like sketching and painting and binging on a whole lot of sitcoms.. My personal favorite is the alluring world of Anime. Several of my friends began watching it and I cannot exactly term it as peer pressure, but I did give in and start watching Anime too. And now my watchlist includes just a bunch of 2D characters with powers that even Superman himself can't fight. So this is my take on how a kryptonian can be defeated with Jutsu, as Mr Naruto would say. Lol. This one is for all the weebs out there.

Manga and Anime are not the same!

To put it simply, manga is a Japanese term for comics and graphic novels, whereas Anime is the term for Japanese animations.. There are many similarities between them, as they both have been created by Osama Tezuka, who is considered as the Japanese version of Walt Disney. Now have you ever seen a simple comic book? The one with black and white newspaper illustrations - like Garfield. Manga is just like that - A book of illustrations. Now we arrive at the perennial question - Manga or Anime, which is better. Both of them are equally interesting, but I personally have a soft spot for anime. The intro theme songs, intense background music, and the beat dropping right before a big fight move, all these factors pack a punch. You don’t get that adrenaline rush from just a book.

My first anime - Demon Slayer

The story begins with the main character Tanjiro, who returns home after selling charcoal in town to find his entire family murdered by demons. Pretty intense right? His sister, Nezuko, survives but there’s a twist - she turns into a demon herself. This makes him vow to take revenge and he sets off to train with Sakonji, who has trained many of the elite members of the Demon Slayer Corps. After many years of training and a painful exam called the final selection, Tanjiro finally becomes a demon slayer and is off on missions along with his sister, who unlike most demons doesn’t consume human flesh. On his missions he meets Zenitsu and Inosuke, who both have excellent powers of their own. My favorite story arc was when the highest ranking slayers, known as the pillars, were introduced. But my words won’t do justice to their powers they possess. So simply get your geek on by watching this short yet amazing series.

The Tale of Naruto Uzumaki

The hidden leaf village is not so hidden anymore! The series I am currently watching is one of the most popular anime from 2020 - Naruto. The story is set around the shinobi villages and their ninjas and how Naruto Uzumaki plans on being the next Hokage [the most powerful shinobi] of the leaf village. He is trained by some of the best ninjas the village has ever seen. Before graduating from the academy, he was a hyperactive boy with lots of energy who just wanted to be the best. After graduation, he was placed in team seven, along with Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha. This team was trained by Kakashi Sensei who is known for wielding his Chidori and even the Sharingan. The sharingan, to put it simply, is a trait passed down in families. The Uchihas are known for their sharingans and hence it naturally comes to Sasuke as well. The mystery still remains unsolved as to how Kakashi got his sharingan, as he is not an Uchiha. But Naruto does have a super power as well. Not technically his powers per se, but we can cut him some slack. After all it's not everyday you get to see a beast like the nine tailed fox sealed away in an 11 year old boy. In my opinion the story picks up Orochimaru’s entry, and it paves the way for Sasuke’s powers in the future. My favorite character has to be Sasuke Uchiha. With his effortless fighting skills and sarcastic yet cool personality, he definitely is an excellent shinobi. You have to start this show right away because once you have seen him use his fire style fireball jutsu.....the world just doesn't look the same anymore.

In other words...

My current watchlist includes Naruto Shippuden, Black Clover, One Piece, and a few other naruto spin offs. Anime was something I never thought I would like, but now as it turns out I can't get enough of it. So bye for now, if you need me I'll be at Ichiraku’s eating ramen with barbeque pork. And if you get this reference, have a bowl of ramen on me. K bye.

Home in a faraway land

Good to see you again ! Do you ever get that feeling of an intense craving for your favourite dish? Like say pasta or pizza? My favorite is pasta, but being raised in India, I can’t say no to a classic plate of butter naan and chicken tikka with a glass of buttermilk or chaas if you please. Of Course you can’t beat the taste of a home cooked meal, but let me tell you about the time I went to this amazing little Indian restaurant in Dubai with my family, and how the food there was absolutely heavenly.

Out and About in Dubai

Skyscrapers, Sleepless nights, Gold Souks and gigantic malls - these are the visions you'd usually get when someone mentions Dubai. Well, they're mostly right! I went there with my family about 5 years ago. We stayed at the Ramada, which was right next to the Dubai Mall. The mall happens to be strategically placed next to the Burj Khalifa and we got lucky enough to see mesmerizing musical fountain shows night after night. The streets are spick and span, and everyone follows the traffic regulations dutifully. We also went for the desert safari, which was no less than an actual roller coaster ride. We also visited the Gold Souk, and oh boy. The name definitely fulfills its purpose, as the entire street is occupied entirely by gold stores. Huge gold ornaments are on display like clothes on hangers. I personally don’t have a thing for gold jewellery, but my mom had the time of her life there fawning and gasping over every store we came across. Shortly after our visit here, we came across this beautiful little Indian restaurant, and you can call me old school but at the end of the day, this girl needs a desi meal, because trust me room service gets boring after a while.

Peshwa - Not your typical 5 star restaurant

Situated away from the hustle of the main city, this place still remains quite underrated. We stumbled across this hidden gem which saved us the efforts of getting back to the hotel for an overpriced lunch. As soon as we entered the restaurant, we could smell the aroma of a classic dal makhani [ a simple gravy consisting of lentils infused with aromatic spices and hints of burnt chillies ] in the air. So we got a table and had a look at the menu and it was almost like being back home. The endless variety of gravies with paneer in almost every single one of them, to at least 6 different types of rotis, a little piece of heaven in this concrete jungle! We went ahead and ordered a simple meal of rotis and some paneer delicacy, along with dal and rice. Apart from the taste of the food, which was just heavenly, the overall ambience of the place in one word, was exquisite. The restaurant lived up to its very ethnic maharashtrian name. The food was served in those traditional style cutlery, reminding us of a simpler time.

A dish you just can’t miss

If you have a sweet tooth like me, you definitely have to try the coconut barfi from this place. Made from desiccated coconuts, sweetened condensed milk, a finely ground cardamom, and a hint of saffron, this dish is a match made in heaven. It was freshly made and we could tell it by the intoxicating aroma of pure ghee [clarified butter]. So just for a day, give yourself a break from watching calories and try this mouth watering dish because here’s something to live for.

In other words…

The next time I’m in Dubai, the first thing I will do is find out if the restaurant is still there. And probably avoid the Gold Souk this time. I will most certainly go for the desert safari, because it’s not everyday you get defy gravity and drive through the sand dunes like in a Fast and Furious movie. Lol. Also thanks for bearing with me throughout this blog. See ya!

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oldcurse · 3 years ago

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Different desi anon but my american friends don’t understand this - I think about letting my parents set me up with a random guy because I can’t imagine someone (a girl) loving me enough to be with me despite all of it. Like I should just get the arranged marriage because it’s too difficult otherwise. I feel resigned to do it

Ugh anon I’m sorry you have friends who don’t get it but you can’t even like get mad at them because unless you’re raised with this shit, there is really no way to understand the way we have to live our lives just to survive.

I have definitely been there, that was my plan too. My mom’s plan was to get me engaged at 23 and married before 25. And even though it made so indescribably unhappy, I was ready to sacrifice my life for the sake of my parents reputation. I literally remember surrounding myself with spn and shameless and all the other shows I watched thinking that my time was limited, that my life was good now to make up for all the suffering for the rest of it with a husband that I do not love who I will be forced to keep happy and have children with. All my cousins did it so why can’t I? I truly believed that the life I had, being emotionally and physically abused in my parents home was a “happy” life. Then suddenly, this girl on tumblr started paying more attention to me than anyone in my life ever had. She noticed every little thing and sent me anon messages when I was sad or upset or happy or anything I ever posted about. I had never in my life opened up to anyone, I had never allowed myself to be genuinely me anywhere outside of my blog. And for some reason, when Kari and I first started talking, I just didn’t want to do that anymore and I just decided to not put on a costume this one time. I have no idea why to this day because I wasn’t in love with her from the beginning and she liked someone else anyway so I have no idea why but I was myself with Kari and that’s when I realized HOW MUCH life actually has to offer. And that’s when it hit me how freaking unhappy I was. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life trying to survive abuse and once I realized that everything changed. I wanted to get away, I wanted out and most importantly I wanted to fight. Even if Kari and I did not start dating, I had already made up my mind to fight for me. That’s all I’m asking of you anon too, I know it all seems so bleak and never ending right now because that’s what you were raised to believed. You were raised to believe that there is only sadness and disappointment if you don’t follow the path your parents have paved for you but there is SO much love and happiness that life has to offer. And it does not necessarily have to come from finding a significant other for the rest of your life. You have so much to do and so many places to go and it should never be about only finding romantic love. It sucks because being desi (the western culture doesn’t help either) we’re conditioned into believing that to be true and basically that the whole point of life is just to fall in love and live happily ever after but that is never ever the end in real life and it should not be the goal. I want you to find a way to get to know yourself because that’s what I found with Kari, I finally learned who I am and that’s when I decided to fight for myself because I’m an amazing person and I deserve to be surrounded by people who can see that and support that. Love will come to you when it’s time and it may be romantic love but it could be something else completely and that’s also ok. But agreeing to a life that you don’t want for yourself tag your parents have decided for you, that’s just not an option and the fact that you sent me this message shows that you want to fight, you just need a reason to love yourself and be free after however many years of brainwashing and emotional manipulation you’ve made it through. You want to survive this and I know you can and I will support you through in whatever way I can. I believe in you anon, you will get through this I promise you.

#you got this anon I promise you you have got this #anonymous #asks

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phoenixfell · 4 years ago

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Protecting Yourself & Creating a Good Experience

An unfortunate post necessitated by recent events. The unfortunate truth of reality is that we, as non-psychic human beings, are unable to determine with certainty the motives of other humans around us. If someone claims to have good intentions but are hurting you, are they simply presenting themselves poorly or are they lying entirely? This is a question you can never truly answer, but here I will guide you through some ways to protect yourself while being kind to yourself and others.

You may reblog this if you’d like.

Although this post was created specifically in response to the turmoil in the Avatar: The Last Airbender fandom, it’s not specific to this exact situation and the purpose is not to take a side. The purpose is to encourage everyone to do their part in ending hateful behavior and crafting a good community.

Contents:

0. Don’t send mean asks to people 1. Install an IP Tracker on your blog. 1.a (How to) Install an IP Blocker on your blog. 2. Curating your Experience 3. Making First Contact 4. Analyzing a Message 5. Fiction as Fiction VS Fiction as Reality 6. The Author’s Duty 7. Echo Chambers & Lateral Thinking 8. Accepting Differing Opinions 9. Good Intentions (Pave the Road to Hell) 10. Being Mean is Fun (so do it in non-harmful ways) 11. Morality (Personal, Community, and Legal)

0. Don’t send mean asks to people.

You know, I saw a post some time ago on the internet that basically said: Why do we see so many posts teaching people how to avoid being raped and virtually nothing telling people not to rape others? So, as obvious as this may sound, I’m going to give you a gentle reminder to not send mean asks to people.

Perhaps you are angry. Perhaps something else is bothering you. Perhaps you honestly feel like you are doing the right thing. These feelings are entirely valid and I understand. However, being mean to someone else on the internet is not going to solve anything. At best, it’s going to get you ignored and at worst, it’s going to actively escalate things.

If you feel down, depressed, or upset, consider this service: https://www.crisistextline.org/

US and Canada: text 741741 UK: text 85258 | Ireland: text 50808

It’s a confidential service that will help support you.

On the other hand, if you feel like you genuinely have a bone to pick with someone, take a step back. Get a cup of coffee, or tea; watch a YouTube video, and later on in this post we’ll discuss cooperative problem solving, the importance of word choice, and how to deescalate a situation.

1. Install an IP Tracker on your blog.

This is a very simple and completely legal process. The easiest way to do so is to sign up for Statcounter. This is a website for market and visitor analysis, but it does IP tracking for free, which is what we’re looking for. The site will even guide you through installing it. However--do not post it into the description. In my experiences, this does not work. Instead, click Edit HTML, search for <body>, and paste it directly underneath that.

For this to work most effectively, make sure that you have the Timestamps extension enabled within the inbox in XKit. If you do not have XKit installed, you can find directions on their Tumblr page, here: https://new-xkit-extension.tumblr.com/

1.a. (How to) Install an IP Blocker on your blog.

Although Tumblr claims to give you the ability to IP Block through the inbox by blocking anonymous asks, many people have expressed doubts that it actually works. Therefore, here’s an explanation showing you how to do it yourself. There are three steps to this, all taking place in the Edit HTML section we’ve left off in last section.

Directly below where the web analytics code above ends, paste this:

Directly below the previous command, paste this:

function ipBlock() { var ip = userip; //example: "0.0.0.0", "5.5.5.5", "3.3.3.3", var bannedips=[ "155.555.55.55" ]; var handleips=bannedips.join("|"); handleips=new RegExp(handleips, "i"); if (ip.search(handleips)!=-1){

window.location.replace("http://www.tumblr.com"); }

} </script>

You can customize this script in a few ways. First, bannedips needs to be the ip(s) you wish to block. You can add more by separating them by commas and enclosing them in quotes, as the example shows. Secondly, in the window.location.replace line, you can insert any valid address. Here are some suggestions I give people:

Tumblr homepage. Basic and effective.

A link to a Google search of something, e.g. How to not send mean asks on the internet

Your own tumblr blog, so they get stuck in a refresh loop

A similarly spelled but nonexistent blog, to give the illusion you deleted/moved

Finally, add onload=“ipBlock()” to your body tag:

That should be everything to get it working. If you want to test it, click the link in step two, copy and paste the IP address that is displayed into the bannedips, save, and visit your blog. If it’s working right, you should get thrown off.

If you don’t want your IP Block active, just remove step three and return your tag to <body>.

2. Curating Your Experience

Although Tumblr itself does not allow the functionality, there are ways to ensure that certain words do not appear on your dashboard. XKit has a blacklist feature which will hide posts containing certain words. Also of note is the wildcard feature, which is accessed by adding an asterisk after the word, ex.

nsfw -> Only blocks exactly that word and that tag nsfw* -> Will block any word or tag containing that phrase

However, I would like to gently notify you that there is significant research that actively avoiding content does more harm than good! Only you can know what is best for you, but there is a such thing as excessive avoidance.

3. Making First Contact

If there’s anything you take from this post, please let it be this one thing:

Always be kind. At first. Then tear them a new one if necessary.

The inevitable happens. As far as you can tell, you’re minding your own business on your blog. Your ask box lights up and you perk up, wondering which of your friends is reaching out to you.

Instead, the message is nasty, condemning you for your support of your favorite ship and the theme of your blog.

You’re upset, of course! And you have every right to be! You put a lot of time and effort into this blog and your ship, and to have someone so coldly butt in--you can feel the frustration mounting! Tears are glistening and your body trembles as you type up a strongly worded essay and--

Stop.

It’s okay.

Take a deep breath and step away from your emotions for a minute. Your emotions are valid-- but so are the sender’s.

Instead of starting a fight, be kind. It may hurt. You may not want to be, but I promise you it’s worth it. Here’s a template response:

Hi, anon. I’m really sorry that you feel this way about [thing] and will gladly take it into consideration in the future. Could you please tell me more about why you dislike [thing]? If you’d like to take some time to gather your thoughts, I’d be happy to discuss this issue with you.

Let me confess something. I don’t suggest this out of pure kindness. I suggest this because their response will tell you what you need to know. Remember how the intro talked about how people’s intentions are incredibly hard to figure out? This is a little trick I like to use to get them to play their cards.

There are three possible responses: They respond angrily, they respond kindly and respectfully, or they don’t respond at all.

In the first case, you may get something that resorts to expletives. They may call you names. They may tell you to delete your blog or any other amount of nasty things. It’s very likely that your very attempt at kindness will anger this person! This is a troll/bully whose sole interest is to get you upset and get themselves attention. At this point, you can safely delete and ignore the messages without any guilt.

In the second case, you have a person with a genuine grievance who just happened to address it poorly. Both of you have a duty to humanity to resolve the problem respectfully and politely. You’ve avoided escalating the conflict, you may learn something new and you may even make a new friend!

This also applies to reaching out to someone for the first time. You see someone doing something you don’t like. Oh, it just makes you blind with rage!

Again. I’m going to advise you to stop. Take a deep breath. No one responds well to name-calling and being condemned. There’s a few techniques you can use (see if you can spot them in the template message):

Listen to their opinions

Actively ask to hear their opinion

Ask for clarification

Validate the way they feel

Avoid casting blame

(These techniques work a lot in real life, too!)

Again, there are some genuinely scummy people in life! But, there are many, many more ignorant people. A gentle pointer goes much further than yelling and screaming.

4. Analyzing a Message

We’ve all been there. We’ve gotten a message and we’ve panicked--do they hate me now?! Is this a troll message or genuine criticism?!

Again. Relax. Push aside your emotions and focus on the logical words as they appear before you. Ask yourself if you are reading a tone that doesn’t exist. For example, not everyone puts active thought into choosing between “ok”, “Ok”, “okay”, “Okay”, “ok.” etc. Sometimes an ok is just that. An ok.

Break the message into parts. Find the logical structures and decipher them piece by piece. Someone who throws some very hurtful words into a message may indeed have a point, despite coming off as very crude. Accept that different parts of a message may mean different things. The world is very complicated and multifaceted. Try to avoid sticking labels to things.

5. Fiction as Fiction VS Fiction as Reality

I’ve seen a lot of arguments floating around recently that seem to think that these two ideas exist in a vacuum. It’s simply not true. The ideas are entwined intrinsically--Fiction is both fiction and reality. Fiction was created to mimic reality yet extend it far beyond what can happen in the confines of reality. What happens in reality impacts fiction and what happens in fiction impacts reality.

This is undeniable.

Both of these ideas exist, and as the author it is your duty to figure out what that means for you.

You cannot hide behind Fiction as Fiction to ignore your responsibilities as an author.

You cannot hide behind Fiction as Reality to promote censorship.

Both of these ideas are far too simple for the complicated world we live in. A complicated concept requires complicated solutions.

Every word you write has an impact on the people that reads it. This is the very definition of writing. We use writing as a tool to share emotions. Extend empathy. We use writing to make people cry, to make people laugh, to make people angry.

To deny that this impact exists is to deny what writing is.

But censorship is not an option. Censorship prevents these stories from being told, and quite frankly, no one should have the right to decide what story should and shouldn’t be told, regardless of what is in that story.

What is the solution then? There is no easy answer.

6. The Author’s Duty

When you put words before another human being, it becomes your responsibility as a moral individual to give your best effort into ensuring that those words have a positive impact on the individual.

This doesn’t mean not making them cry. Or not making them upset. It means ensuring that the morals you impart on them are sound and logical.

How one achieves this is up to you.

In general, tone makes all the difference. Writing murder in a positive light versus writing murder in a negative light can drastically alter how the audience perceives your scene.

Empathy, too, can help sway your audience. If your writing must involve racist police officers stopping a young black man, make sure you delve into how unfair this is, how terrifying it is, how this needs to change. Do not normalize it. Do not let it go by without a somber note indicating your awareness of the topic.

Sometimes, the solution is to simply avoid the issue. There are certain topics that only some individuals should write about, and that’s just how it is. This isn’t to say that you can’t write about it, but keep that writing private.

Most importantly, do your research, and ask for help and keep an open mind. It’s a grave responsibility and you may not do it right and that’s okay! Everyone is capable of learning. Everyone is capable of changing.

7. Echo Chambers & Lateral Thinking

An echo chamber is a phenomenon where an individual’s exposure to certain topics becomes self-enforcing because they don’t see, or actively avoid, differing opinions.

Echo chambers are also exactly what happens when a rift this massive opens in a small community.

When Orange blocks Green and starts posting about it, all of Orange’s friends decide whether they agree or not. The overwhelming majority, due to peer pressure, will agree. Many of them will then block Green and the users directly associated with them. In retaliation, Green will defend themselves. Because Orange’s group had already blocked Green, Green’s friends only seen Green’s point of view and will rise in response to the perceived slight.

What results are two heavily biased groups of users that refuse to communicate with one another and many individuals swept into the mess because they don’t wish to be isolated.

Even worse, it turns a complicated and multi-faceted issue into a binary issue. Either you agree with Orange or you agree with Green. The world is not this simple.

Instead, I would encourage everyone to practice lateral thinking of their own accord. I would encourage you to make your own decisions, rather than blindly supporting or condemning the people around you. Everyone has their own opinions about what is or isn’t okay, and that’s perfectly fine. Even your closest friends will have different opinions than you.

8. Accepting Differing Opinions

Once you’ve accepted these different opinions (good on you!) what do you do now? Simply put, the choice is on you! There’s a few options:

Quietly accept it

Respectfully debate it

Avoid it

Escalate it

The first two are pretty obvious, and the third one is where blocking people and the blacklist comes in.

The fourth one is extreme and only recommended for activities causing active, known, measurable harm to other people.

This involves actively seeking a legal entity to handle the issue.

Being mean to people on Tumblr is not a solution. Tumblr is not a place to pursue a justice agenda. There are bigger issues in the world, and I encourage you to find ways to make a difference that will actually be fruitful. Donate to charities. Extend yourself as support to victims. Contribute to research.

Changing the mind of strangers on the internet is not a good use of your time.

9. Good Intentions (Pave the Road To Hell)

This has been a phrase for a very long time.

What does it mean?

Well, I’ll offer my own interpretation.

It means that people often become absorbed with the idea that they are doing the right thing and forget to be mindful of the true consequences of their actions.

It doesn’t mean to not do good things. It means that good is relative and not everyone will find your actions good. It’s important to keep an open mind and realize that just because you think something is good, doesn’t mean everyone agrees.

10. Being Mean is Fun (so do it in non-harmful ways)

Yeah.

It’s okay. You can admit it.

Being mean is fun!

If it wasn’t fun, people wouldn’t do it! In fact, this very blog was created because I found that writing the character being mean was very enjoyable and cathartic!

So, if you find yourself tempted to be mean to people in your life, maybe find another way to get those emotions out. Hell, people on tumblr just might appreciate you taking up a nasty, villainous character that’ll tear their character up...

People love angst. You can take this bad thing and twist it into something good.

11. Morality (Personal, Community, and Legal)

Bringing this long post to a close, I would like you all to end by thinking about what morality really is. In particular, I’d like you to think about morality on three different scales: Your personal morality, the morality of the community you’re in, and morals as described by laws.

You’ll find that these morals don’t overlap.

Or, at least they shouldn’t. Please revisit section 7.

Being aware of morality in these three ways may help you determine how to proceed when going forward.

Do I personally agree with this? Does the community I’m in agree with this? Do the laws have anything to say about this?

None of these are right. Everything has different morals, and it’s up to you to find the exact opinions that fit you.

Don’t let people blindly tell you how you should and shouldn’t feel about a topic, and don’t let people bully you into changing your morals to fit into their perceived moral high ground.

But at the same time, be open. Extend yourself to new ideas. If enough people tell you that something is wrong, it just may be time to listen.

Be you.

Be unique.

Be safe.

And above all, be kind.

Have a nice night, everyone. I hope we can all work to a brighter future.

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frenchtoast-onthe-coast · 4 years ago

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Weekend in Orange County, CA

After living in Orange County for several years, I know firsthand that there are endless ways to spend your time. Below, you will find a weekend itinerary I put together to give you the experience of truly living like one of the locals. Especially now during the coronavirus pandemic, I know how important it is to remain safe. That is why all the places I’ve suggested offer outside eating and dining and involve several outdoor activities, all of which follow the CDC guidelines. Feel free to let me know what your experience has been in OC or which place in California you’d like me to blog about next!

A weekend guide to enjoying OC

Friday - Laguna Beach, CA

First, head down the scenic Pacific Coast Highway to beautiful Laguna Beach. I would suggest checking out the hiking trails at Top of the World, but make sure you have a water bottle and comfortable shoes. If you’re not much into hiking, you can keep driving along the 133 and find your way to the Pacific Marine Mammal Center, where you'll be able to see and learn about some recovering seals. While both attractions are free, the Pacific Marine Mammal Center is ran by volunteers and donations are greatly appreciated.

Afterwards, you can enjoy a beautiful view and dinner at the Crystal Cove "Beachcomber" restaurant at sunset. While this experience may be a little pricey, the panoramic views of Laguna at sunset will be worth it.

If you're driving in from out of town, I'd suggest finding an Airbnb or hotel somewhere in the Anaheim or City of Orange area. With many options for every budget, you'll be right in the center of O.C., having an easy drive to any and all of your destinations.

Saturday - Huntington Beach, CA

For Saturday morning's breakfast or brunch, I'd recommend Mama’s on 39 in Huntington Beach. Mama's is laid back and delicious, what a great way to start your Saturday in OC. Their newspaper menus and homestyle cooking give it such a chill vibe. I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, but ordering one of their “Thrifty” brand ice cream milk shakes is an absolute must!

An entertaining way to enjoy your day in Huntington Beach is a nice bike ride. Right up the street from Mama's on 39 is EV Rideables, a bike shop that offers rentals by the hour and by the day. They have many bike rental options to choose from depending on your comfort level. Their offers range from the classic, one gear beach cruiser, an electric pedal bike, all the way to a super sweet, electric tricycle. No matter which you decide on, you'll be getting around in style and sight-seeing like one of the locals.

During (or after) your bike ride, what could be more "so-cal" than enjoying Huntington State Beach and pier for the afternoon? Swim in the ocean, or watch the surfers as you take in the sun and ocean breeze. Make sure to stop at Northside Market down the street on your way in. There you can buy firewood and supplies to make s'mores once the sun sets. Make sure you're early getting to the bon fires, as many others enjoy the night-time memories made at Huntington Beach.

Since Huntington Beach is not one of the California beaches where you're legally allowed to consume alcohol, you'll have to cross the street to one of the many bars when you're looking for a night-cap. If you’re over 21 and your throat is feeling dry, stop into Treehouse at Tanner’s and enjoy the night-time ambiance with an intimate patio, filled with string lights and fire pits to keep you warm.

Sunday - Santa Ana / Orange, CA

For your last breakfast for the weekend in O.C., I'd suggest checking out Santa Ana’s Black Market Bakery where you can enjoy their fresh brewed coffees and espressos along with an in-house and made from scratch pastry or breakfast “Eggywiches” – the Farmhouse is my go-to!

Then, make your way over to Irvine Regional Park (which is actually in the city of Orange). There, you can drive around the scenic, paved roads and check out the Irvine Park Railroad. You can choose from horseback riding, paddleboat rentals, train rides, or go to the Orange County Zoo. If you’re looking for a more relaxing wrap up to the weekend, you can find your way to the snack bar and concessions they have there. You can then head over to a picnic table to play some cards or a game of dominos. With the miles of walking and hiking trails, you can exercise a bit to ease the guilt of all the indulging you’ve enjoyed this weekend. It can be a nice relaxing stroll along the walking and low impact trails to one of the more vigorous hiking paths this historic park – the oldest regional park in all of California – has to offer.

Feel free to head home when you’ve had your fill of OC, just make sure to be out of Irvine Regional Park by 6:00pm, or the park rangers will politely remind you that your memorable experience here must come to an end, but keep in mind: you'll always be welcomed back.

As I mentioned, there are countless ways to enjoy your time visiting Orange County, California. Here is a general link to find how others have spent their time in OC.

(While I have been to and enjoyed all of these places, I do not claim any of these images as my own)

#california #orange county #travel #illustration

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let-it-raines · 5 years ago

Text

Catch Me If You Can (30/40)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

a/n: I am not a fan of the fact that there are only 10 chapters left. Like, not at all. Where did all of this time go? How are we at this point in the story? I feel like I was just writing it!

Anyway, it seems fitting that this chapter posts in a week where a lot of us have gone home to see family because Killian is going home with Emma to meet Ruth😘 Thanks to you all for being you and thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke for reading these words for me and checking my facts!

Found on AO3: beginning | current

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-/-

“Did you know that it’s Friday the thirteenth and a full moon?”

“Thank you, Alec Trebek.”

“No, seriously. That’s what it says on my phone.”

“Love, I know the date.”

“But did you know about the moon thing?”

“I did,” Killian sighs, picking his suitcase up off of the security belt and placing it on the ground while Emma grabs her sneakers. “I read about it the other day, and I am prepared for all of the haunted werewolves to come out to play.”

“Shut up,” Emma laughs before she plops herself down on a bench to tie her shoes.

It’s a little past four thirty in the morning, and JFK is nearly empty of anyone who isn’t traveling in some kind of suit. He and Emma are surrounded by people in black blazers and tailored trousers only traveling with a sleek black suitcase and their briefcase. He and Emma, meanwhile, are both in joggers with t-shirts on (Emma has on his Vandy sweatshirt over hers) and their hair tucked underneath baseball caps.

Emma got in from Detroit late last night, only taking five minutes to kiss him hello and take a quick shower before collapsing on his bed on top of the covers. The only flight they could get so last minute that wasn’t an exuberant amount of money is at the ungodly hour of six in the morning, so Killian insisted that she just stay at his place last night so that they could leave from the same place and save time. Considering they woke up ten minutes before their Uber arrived and could barely brush their teeth before they left, that didn’t exactly work in the whole saving time department.

It doesn’t help that Emma has pretty much been deadweight this entire morning until she started to wake up right before they went through security.

He, on the other hand, is wide awake. Nervous jitters run through his body, his stomach twisting in knots, and for someone who doesn’t get nervous for many things other than baseball, Killian is pretty much a wreck when it comes to meeting Emma’s family. Ruth is the last one, the final piece of the puzzle, and as intimidating as David was to meet, his mother might outrank her.

Killian both wants to spend the entire weekend sucking up to her and thanking her for taking Emma in and giving her the love she’s never had but has always deserved, but that could prove to be a bit much.

Then again, if Ruth hadn’t taken Emma in thirteen years ago, Emma would have never met David. If Emma hadn’t met David, David would have never taken her to the baseball game that truly allowed Emma to fall in love with sports. And if Emma hadn’t done that, he doubts she’d have ever gotten into broadcasting and found her passion there that makes her so damn happy.

The two of them also would never have met, and that thought sends a shiver down his spine.

It’s funny how such little things can change absolutely everything.

Everything.

So, yeah, Killian is most definitely a little nervous to meet Ruth.

“You want to go find some coffee, Swan?” Killian asks Emma as he props his foot up to tie his own sneaker. “I think the two of us are in some desperate need of caffeine.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I don’t think we’ll be able to find a coffee shop in an airport. There are never any coffee places here.”

“I don’t appreciate all of this sarcasm so early this morning.”

She pokes his stomach. “You’re the one who woke me up.”

“We’re going home to meet your family.”

“I don’t see your point.”

“You should.”

“Well,” Emma huffs, standing up and pulling up her pants so that he sees a flash of tanned skin on her stomach, “you should. Onto coffee we go.”

They both grab onto their bags and start walking down the terminal, passing gate after gate and store after store, but everything is black with the lights turned off and bars pulled over the stores. Nothing is open, not even the convenience stores, and the moment Emma realizes this, she stops walking and buries her face in his shoulder.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“There are vending machines,” he soothes. “I think they have coffee.”

“But it’s gross coffee,” she wines before wrapping her arms around his stomach. At first, Killian thinks that she’s being affectionate, but then he realizes that she’s using him so that she doesn’t have to stand on her own. He’s not sure he minds either way. “I need real coffee, and I need it in an IV.”

“Okay, Lorelai Gilmore.”

Emma laughs into his shoulder, the vibrations working through his shoulder. “You’re learning. I’m so proud, babe.”

“I might have watched an episode or two.”

Emma’s head pops up then, the bill of her cap hitting him in the chin. “When?”

“While you were gone. It was on Netflix, and it just kind of happened.”

“Good choice, twenty-nine. Good choice.” Emma’s lips brush against the corner of his jaw, and he tugs her a little closer as his hand runs up and down her back while she presses up on her toes to make contact with his lips. “I need a diet coke or something, and then when the stores open, I’m buying the biggest damn cup of coffee in this entire airport.”

“Whatever your heart desires.”

-/-

The flight is only an hour and a half, Emma sleeps the entire time despite them getting her the biggest damn cup of coffee in the airport right before they boarded, and Killian spends his time answering emails before closing out the app so that he won’t see anything else work-related for this entire weekend. It’s a conscious decision, one he’s happy to make, and it’s almost refreshing to know that he doesn’t have anything to worry about for at least a few days.

Well, anything to worry about except for Ruth Nolan and making sure that he can impress her.

-/-

The taxi they get from the airport takes them directly to Ruth’s house, so Emma doesn’t get much time to show him around, only pointing out a few landmarks. They pass the minor league baseball stadium here, the Portland Sea Dogs, and Emma tells him that she’s never actually been despite having such easy access. She was too caught up in everything having to do with New York and getting there that she never really thought about it. He teases her and tells her they’ll have to go to a game, but Emma turns him down by saying that she needs a break from baseball.

He does too.

So that’ll probably be knocked off the itinerary that Killian is sure Mary Margaret has made. Luckily, though, she and David won’t be here until early evening since they both had to be at work and school for half a day, so they’re pretty much free to do whatever they want with Ruth today.

He’s still slightly reeling from his injury and their fight and everything that came from that. He’s not angry or upset, but this is all still such an adjustment. He should be playing. He shouldn’t be here, but it’s his own damn fault that he is. He screwed up on so many levels, and owning up to it all has been a tough pill to swallow.

Hurting the people he loved nearly killed him, and he doesn’t want anyone to hurt because of him ever again.

In the blink of a bleary eye, they’re pulling up to a quaint two-story Victorian home with brown and white details and bright green bushes lining the brick-paved walkway to the front door. It’s a home, undoubtedly, one much the same as all of the ones in the city and yet entirely different in that he can see vibrant green grass and flushed trees that spread out all over the neighborhood. It reminds him of growing up in Ohio, even if they were not the ones to have the spaciously fenced-in backyard, and a little fluttering of his heart takes place as Killian takes it all in.

He’s always kind of wanted a place like this – away from everything.

“So, this is the place?”

“This is the place.”

“It’s nice.”

“Yeah, I’ve always thought so.” Emma hikes her bag up a little higher on her shoulder and turns to look at him, trepidation written across her face. “We can still turn around if you want to. There are hotels around here.”

“We’re going inside, love.” He leans down and quickly brushes his lips over hers. She tastes strongly of coffee just from the little taste that he got. He’d like to kiss her more, to have the privacy of the hotel so he can show her just how much he’s missed her the past few days of her being gone, but they’re not doing that. “Besides, I believe I just saw Ruth peeking her head through the window looking at us, so it’s too late to turn around now.”

“Yeah,” Emma sighs, “I guess it is.”

Emma steps forward and begins moving up the path, Killian following right behind her, and Emma barely gets a chance to knock on the door before it’s swinging open and Ruth is lunging forward to practically smother Emma with a hug.

Damn. Ruth Nolan is a force of nature.

Then again, she was already for being a single mom most of her life and still taking in foster children, especially one as stubborn as Emma. He can’t even begin to imagine.

He fully intends on finding out this weekend. There are a million questions running around in his mind.

“Oh,” Ruth coos, shaking Emma in her embrace. A dog escapes the front door and comes to sniff at Killian’s feet. This must be Wilby. “I have missed you so much. I think I’m going to have to move to New York so I can see you more often. Do you have room in that apartment of yours?”

“Only if the couch is comfortable for you.”

“I think it may kill my back.”

“No, it’ll definitely kill your back. I have no doubt. It kills my back. Killian’s couch is super comfortable, though.”

“Well, I hardly know the man. I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to sleep over in his apartment.”

“Who cares about proper, love?” Killian teases. “I would be remiss to not let a beautiful woman sleep over at my apartment.”

The words slip out of his mouth before he’s able to stop them, and he immediately regrets them. Ruth may not be Emma’s mom, the title something that Emma still struggles with no matter how much she loves Ruth, but she’s very much a mother figure. Yet here he is spewing words that pretty much scream in her face that he doesn’t care about proper and has been fucking Emma for months now. What a smooth start.

The pit in his stomach becomes a heavy, solid weight, one that’s going to have him breaking the wood of the wraparound front porch.

Shit.

But then Ruth is leaning her head back in laughter, her eyes shining brightly as her hair falls off of her shoulders, and that weight lessens a little bit.

“I’m not much of one for proper either,” Ruth says with laughter still on her lips. She releases Emma and steps toward him, wrapping him in a hug as well, even if this one isn’t quite as smothering. It likely helps that he’s larger than Emma. “Hello, sweetie. SoSo, you’re the infamous Killian Jones I’ve been hearing about?”

“From Emma?”

“No, my grandson. He loves you. I think he was probably more devastated about your arm than Emma was.”

“How did you know I was devastated?”

Ruth pulls back from him to look at Emma. “Intuition told me that you’d be upset over the fact that your boyfriend is injured. Mary Margaret gave me all of the other details.”

Emma’s eyes roll. “Of course she did.”

“You know she can’t keep a secret.”

Killian looks over to Emma to see what she’s got to say, thinking that this first meeting is going rather smoothly, but then Ruth’s eyes are snapping back to him and looking him up and down in a way that has him feeling rather naked under her scrutiny.

Obviously, it was wishful thinking for him to assume he was quite out of the woods.

“You’re much more handsome in person than on TV.”

“Thanks,” Killian laughs awkwardly as he reaches up to scratch behind his ear. “I, uh, appreciate that.”

Emma looks over to him with raised brows that are pinched together, probably wondering when he turned into a stumbling fool instead of someone who can charm anyone, and all he can do is shrug is shoulders at her. She shrugs back before squatting down on the porch to scratch behind the dog’s ears.

“Have you eaten breakfast yet, Ruth?” Emma asks, obviously trying to save him. “We’ve had coffee but not food, and we’d love to take you out to breakfast.”

Ruth waves her away. “Nonsense. I’ll cook breakfast for all of us.”

“You really don’t have to do that, Mrs. Nolan.”

She smiles at him. “It’s Ruth, and yes I do. I hear you’re quite the baker, so you can help.”

“Well, who told you that?”

“Mary Margaret. She’s where I get all of my information, don’t you know? Emma and David don’t give me nearly enough.”

“You know, Ruth,” Killian smiles, “I have heard a little bit about the two of them not sharing a lot of information. You practically have to drag it out of them. I would never do such a thing as keeping secrets.”

Emma scoffs but there’s that loving, playful smile. “Too soon, twenty-nine. Too soon.”

Ruth guides them inside and sends Emma off to take their bags to her old room. Killian raises his brow in question to make sure it’s okay for them to share a room, and Emma simply rolls her eyes before taking both of their bags up the stairs while Ruth ushers him into the living room.

It’s just as homey as the outside. Everything is covered in warm colors from the deep brown of the leather couch to the inviting green of the wall. Two windows sit on either side of the stone fireplace where the television is mounted, and that’s when Killian spots the myriad of picture frames on the mantel, as well as on the bookshelf in the corner of the room.

This is exactly what he’s been so excited about.

(Besides getting to spend a weekend away with Emma where she spent the last of her teenager years.)

There are a few photos of David as a child, ones of him alone and then ones of him with both of his parents. Most of them, however, everyone is a tad bit older. Killian knows that it’s so Emma can be included in all of the photos, and his heart swells a bit at the thought of Ruth being that thoughtful so that Emma doesn’t have to feel left out in any way.

A picture of David, Mary Margaret, and Emma sits in the middle of the mantle. David and Mary Margaret look much the same, if not younger than they look now, but with different hairstyles. Killian makes a mental note to tease David about his shoulder-length hair. Emma, though, is definitely a teenager here. Her face is rounder, far less angled, and he can see the tepidness of her smile as she leans into David in the picture.

“Are you looking at how cute I am?” Emma questions as she walks into the room.

Killian turns to look at her and at the shy smile on her face now, and he opens up his arm to let her walk into him so that her arm can wrap around his back while her head rests on his shoulder.

“How old are you here, love?”

“Um, that’s a question I don’t know the answer to.”

“Sixteen,” Ruth supplies, and Killian doesn’t miss the way she’s smiling at the two of them standing there. “That’s from Thanksgiving. Emma still wasn’t too sure about us.”

“I’m still not.”

Killian squeezes her hip. “Liar.”

“Nope, I’m serious. You’ve only just met Ruth, so I don’t think you can judge her character yet.”

“Oh no, darling, I can. She’s promised to tell me stories about you while we cook breakfast, and that’s good enough for me to love her forever.”

Emma groans and dips her head down. “Just let me sulk, and I’ll come to the kitchen when breakfast is ready.”

“Just like when you were a teenager,” Ruth teases.

The morning is mostly spent in the kitchen where they eat waffles and bacon, which is definitely not on his diet but he’s not playing right now anyways, and he gets to listen to Ruth tease Emma all about what she was like as a teenager. Emma’s cheeks are painted red, the embarrassment very clearly there, but she takes it like a champ and smiles and laughs along even when Ruth tells a story about Emma nearly breaking her arm while trying to sneak back into the house after meeting a guy who she wasn’t supposed to be meeting.

“Not my finest moment,” Emma admits as she bites into a piece of bacon. “And definitely not my finest boyfriend.”

The stories continue, and as the day passes on, Killian’s stomach hurts from all of the laughter. Everything about his time here just seems so…perfect. And he knows that there is no such thing as perfect, but the crisp breeze of the air with the sunshine filtering through the leaves of the trees tells him otherwise as the two of them help Ruth with some of her yardwork. Of course, he hasn’t done yardwork in over a decade, so he’s a little rusty. Ruth and Emma make sure to point that out to him every time he cuts a shrub in the wrong way or manages to screw up turning on the lawnmower.

It was complicated, okay?

And Killian definitely wasn’t aware that this is how they’d be spending the first part of their afternoon. It was not at all mentioned in Emma’s pitch of asking him to come here.

Not that he would have ever said no to helping. It’s good to feel useful when he’s been feeling a little useless lately no matter how well he thinks that he’s handling his injury layoff.

It’s decidedly different than the first time around. It likely helps that the injury isn’t as serious and that Killian knows that the end of it is in sight, even if there’s still bits of uncertainty that no one can answer and predict for him. Yet, it also has everything to do with the fact that the people closest to him know exactly what’s going on instead of him letting it all fester inside of him. Honesty is the better policy this time, even if his hand was the slightest bit forced.

Watching Emma easily guide him through Old Port with a beatific smile on her face may help as well.

No, it definitely helps.

She’s such a force of light in his life, even if she doesn’t like admitting that sometimes, but the fact almost seems reinforced after having been apart from her and facing the thoughts of what his life may be like without her in it outside of being someone who he works with.

Frankly, it would be kind of dim. She’s integrated herself so easily into every aspect of his daily routine, and while at first, he thought it really only had to do with her clothes in his closet and her shampoo bottles littering his shower, it’s more in the way that he’ll be sitting with Elsa and look over to see her texting Emma or the way that whenever he wakes up in the morning and she’s not in bed with him, his first thought is to check his phone for a text from her. It’s ridiculous and yet also…not.

She annoys him more than anything or anyone in the world, but he also loves her more than anything. It’s easy in a way that it’s never been before, and Killian wonders if this feeling of fluttering deep in his belly is what he was missing in the past.

They grab a late lunch at a quaint little seafood place, one he can tell is family-owned simply from the atmosphere, and instead of sitting inside, they settle down at one of the umbrella-covered tables outside so that they can have a view of the ocean with the salt-water breeze wafting over them.

He’s missed the water.

Of course, he’s been around it living in Manhattan and traveling to several places around the country that are surrounded by water. Hell, he’s even been back in it in the three years since the accident with Liam. But it’s been a long damn time since he’s sat and simply enjoyed getting to spend time near the water.

During the off-season, he and Emma are going somewhere that’s surrounded by water for at least a week, and they’re not going to let any outside distractions get to them. It’s making plans for the future, and that’s all that he wants right now.

(Some would call it baseball mating season, and while he doesn’t plan on them reproducing anytime soon, they can sure as hell practice.)

They get a call that David and Mary Margaret are nearly there when Emma is showing him some of the lighthouses while using a ridiculous voice that she calls her “tour guide” voice, so they quickly gather their things and start walking back to Ruth’s car since she absolutely cannot wait to see the rest of her family and refuses to have them be at her house before she can get back to her house.

David and Mary Margaret get there first because they are apparently the fastest drivers on the planet today.

And Leo practically tackles Ruth in all of his ten-year-old glory when he sees her.

That’s how Addy and Lucy are with Elsa’s parents too, and Killian imagines that being a grandparent is a hell of a lot of fun since you aren’t in charge of molding a little person into a functioning human being. You just have to give them candy and all of the things their parents don’t want them to have.

Or, at least, that’s what he thinks Ruth does.

(That’s what he does as an uncle and wishes his mom could have done as a grandmother.)

They all eat takeout dinner together from an Italian place that Emma and David swear by, and while it’s certainly not the best thing he’s ever had to eat, it’s pretty damn good. Then again, he’s had so much to eat today that his stomach very well may explode soon. He’ll have to get up and go for a jog in the morning.

But right now, it’s a little past ten at night, he’s been up for over eighteen hours, and all he really wants is to sleep. His body is dragging enough that he imagines he’ll have no trouble falling into a slumber as soon as his head hits the pillow.

He’s wrong.

Because then he sees Emma’s teenage bedroom and sees just how empty it is. It’s absolutely nothing like her apartment in New York full of throw pillows and blankets and every artificial plant known to man with a colorful paintings above her headboard. Everything here is rather…beige.

Emma walks out of the bathroom where she’s been getting ready for bed, and he watches as she rubs lotion up and down her hands and her forearms. “Why that glum look on your face? Are you still trying to figure out better ways to argue with David over soccer? Because that dinner conversation is long over. I thought Leo was going to climb on top of the table and start beating on his chest or something equally ridiculous.”

“Hm, no,” Killian chuckles, opening his knees so that Emma can step into them and his hands can find their spots on her waist, warm flesh against his fingertips.

“Then what?”

He blinks up at her, not entirely sure if now is the right time to ask, but then he sees the glint of his mom’s ring falling against Emma’s chest and is reassured in who he is to Emma. “I can’t help but notice that your room here is not quite as colorful as your room at home.”

Emma sighs, and he squeezes her hip in response so that she looks down at him and smile. “It’s kind of a stupid reason. You don’t want to hear about it.”

“I’d love to know more of your beginnings, Swan.”

“Haven’t you heard enough about them today?”

“There is never enough information, love.”

She smiles and reaches to push his hair back off of his head, her hands a magic touch as they move through the strands there. “I’m not a sentimental person. Or, I wasn’t.” Her right hand leaves his hair to find the chain around her neck. Killian’s heart stutters at that movement. “And I never trusted that I was going to stay in one place for very long, so if I had the chance to decorate my room, I didn’t. I kept everything I owned in a little box that was always ready to go.”

His heart may actually break for Emma in this moment, the sad reality of what she’s telling him something that’s hard for him to take in. He can’t imagine what it must be like for her to have lived that way.

“I think this place worked out for you, though.”

“Yeah, it did.” She smiles again, but Killian can see the twinge of sadness in the corners of her lips. “You sure you still want to know about these beginnings of mine when they’re a little bit sad?”

“Like I’ve said before, love, we make quite the team, sad backstories and all. I do, however, think that you need a little something on these walls of yours.”

“I think all of the home décor stores may be closed.”

Killian winks. “Well, I think I’ll just have to get a little creative then.”

His hand slides around her back to squeeze her ass before he’s pushing Emma back from him and getting up from the bed to walk out the door. Everything is darkened with the lights turned off, and since he doesn’t want to wake up everyone else in the house, he uses the flashlight on his phone and quietly walks down the stairs to find his way to the kitchen where he knows there were sheets of paper in the printer as well as a few pens in a cup right behind it. Emma is on his heels, questioning what the hell it is he’s doing, but he doesn’t tell her until he’s grabbing the paper and a thick blue marker.

“What are you doing?” Emma hisses.

“I’m making you some artwork for your wall.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“It’s endearing.”

“You say that about every weird thing that you do.”

“Because the weird things are endearing,” he corrects, looking back at her and smiling. “What kind of drawing do you want? I’m pretty talented, if I do say so myself, but it’s been awhile since I’ve drawn anything.”

“Just…do whatever you want. I’m going to fix myself a hot chocolate. Do you want one?”

“Does Ruth have any tea?”

“I’m going to make you the hot chocolate. It’s better than tea.”

Killian rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t protest as he starts sketching out what he can remember of the view of the lighthouse today. It’s rough, definitely not his best work, but considering his original plan was simply going to be writing her name out, it’ll have to do for quick work.

Strange things happen when he’s far past tired.

“Milady,” Killian sighs, picking up the paper as well as a bit of tape before walking the few steps toward Emma as she sits on a barstool at the island with two cups of hot chocolate, her mug piled up with whipped cream and sprinkles of cinnamon, “I present to you your artwork for your wall.”

Emma’s eyes glance over it before glancing up at him with a slight smile on her face. “You’ve got to sign it.”

He taps the corner of the paper where he’s scribbled in his number. “Already done.”

“Ah,” Emma laughs, “how could I have missed that?”

“You were distracted by the beauty of the picture.”

“Exactly.” Emma presses up over the countertop and leans forward to quickly brush her lips over Killian’s, and while a part of him wants to deepen it, he doesn’t want to get carried awhile while here. “Thank you. That is very sweet of you to do.”

“Endearing, right?”

“Sure.” She shakes her head and slides his mug over to him so that he can have some of his hot chocolate. “I hope today hasn’t scarred you for life, especially since you still have to survive tomorrow.”

“It’s been fun, Swan. I’ve been…I think it’s gotten me majorly out of my own head. I needed that. And I liked getting to see you be so happy. My only complaint is that I’m under strict instructions not to make your bed squeak. I don’t like that rule.”

Emma reaches over to slap his shoulder, but he moves it out of the way quick enough that she doesn’t get it. It also causes a slight twinge in his shoulder that reminds him that he needs an ice pack for tonight. He hasn’t gotten to put ice on it all day. So, he turns toward the fridge and opens up the freezer, grabbing one of Ruth’s ice packs, and placing it on top of his shoulder before turning back to Emma whose fingers are tracing over the drawing.

Emotion lodges in his throat again, something that’s been happening quite a lot tonight, and it’s what propels him forward to step behind Emma’s back and wrap his arms around her stomach before resting his chin on top of her head.

“I’m not going anywhere, Emma,” he promises, meaning every word. “Not unless you tell me to go. So, you can plan on hanging paintings and making plans and keeping little trinkets in more places than a box. I love you more than I know how to tell you. That’s not going to change.”

Emma audibly sighs, something that he feels under the palms of his hands, before leaning back into Killian and simply staying in that spot so that he can breathe her in.

“I love you,” she breathes out as her head tilts up so that her lips can move across the underside of his jaw. “Let’s take the hot chocolate upstairs and go to bed.”

“And your picture?”

“Yeah, that too.”

-/-

Killian’s arm tingles, the feeling nearly gone, when he wakes up in the morning and finds Emma’s body pressed around it. This isn’t how they fell asleep, not even close, and he’ll probably never have use of his arm again. It doesn’t seem to matter, though, and he flexes his fingers a bit before nuzzling his nose into the back of Emma’s head in an attempt to get to go back to sleep.

They were up until maybe two in the morning talking, sleep never really coming to either of them no matter how much they both wanted it, and judging from the dim light coming through the blinds on the window, it’s still early yet.

He desperately needs coffee. He’s probably not going to be able to go back to sleep, and he desperately needs coffee.

Slowly, Killian begins to extract his arm from Emma’s grip, stopping when she flinches, and after several careful minutes, he’s able to quietly get off the bed and step out of the room, leaving her door cracked so as not to make any kind of noise. He walks down the hallway and uses the guest bathroom before walking down the stairs and wandering to the kitchen in search of coffee.

To his surprise, David is already there sitting at the kitchen table with his laptop open and a cup of coffee sitting next to him, the smell wafting toward Killian.

“Hey,” Killian greets. David nearly jumps out of his chair and knocks everything over, and Killian can’t help but laugh at the shock on his face. “Did you really not hear me coming down the stairs?”

“I, uh, I – ” David is stuttering, obviously at a loss for words, and Killian can’t quite figure out what’s going on. He doesn’t think Dave is usually this flustered in the mornings. “I wasn’t expecting you or Emma to be up this early.”

Killian shakes out his arm, still trying to wake it up. “Believe me. I wish I wasn’t up. Do you always work this early in the morning on a Saturday?”

“No, I don’t, but my phone wouldn’t stop buzzing with emails this morning, so I came downstairs to see so it wouldn’t wake Mary Margaret up.”

“Ah, I turned off my emails this weekend for that exact reason.”

“You probably shouldn’t have done that.”

“What’s that, mate?” David coughs in response, and Killian steps forward to the table and sits down across from David, confusion running through him as his stomach twists and turns. “Seriously. What?”

David can’t look at him, not really, and that doesn’t help calm any of Killian’s nerves as he tries to figure out what in the world is going on with him this morning.

“I didn’t know this was happening, I swear. I’d have stopped it if I got one whiff of it, but there’s been an article.”

“An article?”

David turns his computer around, and Killian reads a headline that he’s always expected to see and yet has always hoped to avoid.

The Truth Behind Killian Jones: A Story Told by His Father.

“Fucking hell,” he murmurs, his eyes taking in the picture of his father that’s plastered on the screen. Killian hasn’t seen him in years, actual years, and yet he looks exactly the same. “What kind of shit is this?”

“It gets worse.”

“How could it possibly get worse?”

“Look at the journalist.”

Killian’s eyes glance toward the screen again, his gaze finding more words he didn’t want to see.

Walsh Osborne.

As in Emma’s ex, Walsh Osborne who she still works with at ESPN. Though, this article is decidedly not on ESPN’s website.

Holy fucking shit.

Killian’s got to go back to bed. This isn’t real. This is all some kind of messed up nightmare that he’s experiencing, and soon, he’ll wake up and none of it will be real. And yet Killian keeps scrolling through the article, skipping the words to instead look at pictures of himself that Killian hasn’t seen in years. His father shouldn’t have these pictures. Liam should have all of them. And yet, somehow, he doesn’t.

Childhood pictures are nothing, though, at least for right now, when at the bottom of the article are pictures of Killian and Emma standing in the airport yesterday with Emma’s arms wrapped around his waist as well as a picture of them kissing in his car from who knows when. Then there’s one that he knows is from the hallways of Yankee stadium in what was supposed to be a private room.

“Everyone knows about you and Emma,” David tells him.

This is too much. It’s all too much, and he doesn’t know how to handle the reappearance of his father and the very public reveal of his private relationship.

Fuck.

#catch me if you can #cs fic #cs ff #captain swan fic #captain swan

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ailahveyou · 4 years ago

Text

PUZZLE OUT; A REFLECTION

“I embraced who I am and I don’t want to stop.” - Supergirl; Kara Zor-el

How do you define ‘YOU’? How hard can it be to be ‘YOU’? - these questions help us understand more of what may ourselves have to pop out. In the midst of the journey you have in life, there are certain areas that you question and that we are about to find out.

These past few weeks we’ve had our classes in our GE HUMS 101, we learned about talking and recognizing LIFE in different aspect and perspectives of philosophers and sociologists. We gained more knowledge about the SELF. So let me give you a little tour of what we discussed and so you can catch up.

On the first part of our tour, this is about SELF THROUGH PHILOSOPHER’S PERSPECTIVES. This topic involves different philosophers explaining what they think about the self’s essence that is present in us. As you can see, with these philosophers we learn and reflect each of their ideas about ourselves.

Just like our friend above this text, Socrates, one of the early philosophers, paved the way of questioning and discovering more about self. He introduced the SOCRATIC METHOD to allow human beings to gain more knowledge. Not just questioning, we also tend to observe ours. The self has levels that we already know and some that needs to be discovered. in our daily lives, we tend to ask ourselves who are we gonna be today or how can we behave with what’s gonna come. These components on this topic helps us recognize more and just like me, I just learned that when you intact all the philosopher’s ideas you can get that greater picture of yourself and could understand more.

So let’s say good bye for a little bit to Socrates and let me introduce you to some Sociologists whom discussed about SELF THROUGH SOCIOLOGICAL PERSPECTIVES.

Society is a big influence to an individual. It can either demand, command or request. They tend to change behaviors with the people around you for acceptance and it will mirror yourself of what you’ve become with the influence of social norms. As I observed, people nowadays, mostly teens, are looking for acceptance within the society. they tend to change their self-identity for the sake of fame an acceptance within their peers. It’s not that bad we tend to change ourselves of what we feel and for the better.

For example, Hua Mulan - the Chinese lady whom applied for the Chinese army as a man to help her father and bring honor to her family. Mulan was never the perfect daughter but she tried to do everything her family requested so she could bring pride and honor to her family. However, she failed to accomplish the request and disappointed of what happened with her and the matchmaker. She was in awe when she knew that there was supposed to be one man that can represent their family to apply for the army. Her father was sick and she couldn’t stand it. She ran away with her horse and the guardian spirit that her ancestors gave her. Before she deployed herself, she cut her hair and wrapped her breast as if she was not a woman so that the army will accept her. She hid her true identity for months as Hua Ping, she trained and she felt she found her self by being who she is. Then until the end, she revealed herself to the people as a woman. At first, they wouldn’t accept a woman in the army as if it’s a crime. But then she truly recognized her potential and alongside everyone accepted her even her colleagues.

There is good and bad of the influence that society can bring but the important thing that we should know that we have to recognize of what is better for us and even healthier to what we bring and cultivate among others.

Let’s just leave Mulan right there and move on with our tremendous tour. Let’s go and talk about SELF AS EMBEDDED IN CULTURE.

Culture. Culture is one’s way of life. Just like religion, traditions and lifestyle. It’s like a pattern that we do with our lives that we believe and follow.

Like me, as a Pinay, I practice by saying ‘opo’ and ‘po’ to the elders, being hospitable to visitors, likes to party and gather and also we, pinoys, celebrate the longest Christmas vacation. This culture that we have that we share is the bondness and this allows us to identify of who we are. Similar to the phenomenal series Harry Potter, a ficitional story by J.K Rowling. The novels chronicle the lives of a young wizard, Harry Potter, and his friends Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, all of whom are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Harry lived his life being a muggle (human) but everything changed on his 11th birthday. Harry went to the world of Witchcraft and Wizardry and learned different cultures and beliefs as a wizard. He shared the bond with his three friends and learned the meaning of magic and power.

I realized that culture is not the behavior itself but the bond and understanding that allows us to bond and share with different people to experience more. The shared culture you have is how you define yourself on how you deliver it and show it to others. Culture influenced us within our daily lives up until this century. This also bring us together as a nation through diversity.

So, carry on!

We are gonna talk about the PSYCHOLOGICAL PERSPECTIVE OF THE SELF.

The self has many facets that help make up integral parts of it, such as self-awareness, self-esteem, self-knowledge, and self-perception. In the basis of psychology, the mental state of the self allows you to think, act and evaluate. For me, the psychological perspective of the self is really important because it constructs the idea of one’s identity to achieve. For example, as we grow up we tend to observe our parents and analyze of what they are doing. Also, we tend to copy and idolize them of what they are doing.

On this lesson, we learned how to be aware with one’s self and also by understanding. Being influenced by the people around your environment makes yourself vulnerable and attached so we have to make sure we choose the right path we take. So thumbs up for that!

We quickly continue to the WESTERN AND EASTERN CONCEPT OF THE SELF.

Western people are ideally aware of themselves. They objectify themselves as INDIVIDUALS purely. They are autonomous. While, Eastern self is believing that there is no meaning of the self that is independent.

Both of them play important roles within the different sides of the world. I believe the Western Self’s single-mindedness can be a weakness and also a strength, not just in our daily routine but also in different aspects. Eastern Self within us helps us appreciate the togetherness of one’s community and by depending and helping. Maybe both of them, don’t go good together but I believe that each of them have strong perspectives within different circumstances.

Moving along...

Let’s talk about THE PHYSICAL SELF.

The physical self refers to the body. Both external and internal. It is the temple of what we desire. People nowadays tend to get insecure with their bodies, mostly girls. It’s hard to say that most of them feel pressured by what they see in magazines and even the social media empire. Social media is technically perceiving the perfect body image of a person should and will have. That’s why they tend to buy stuff to maintain their beauty and body forms.

I learned that self-esteem is really important even if you do not have the perfect body image. People tend to judge the other people’s body image and some of them end up being depressed. Yet, it is much more important to be beautiful in the inside

Being beautiful is not just by having a pretty face but also with a beautiful soul. Our forms do not measure the weight that social media carries. We do not have nothing to prove and no one to impress with. It’s the personality that counts! . The thing you have to prioritize is how you avoid to intoxicate your inner self. You have to smile, be thankful and optimistic, and have a healthy and good attitude.

So let’s give that a big round of applause, folks!

Let me tell you something that I learned about SEXUAL SELF.

Sexual self is not just what you think. Some people misunderstood these type of perspective just because it has the word, ‘SEX’, on it. Well, you’re wrong! So, let me clear things up. Sexual self is the totality of all sex characteristics, includes with the reproductive systems, different STDs, puberty, sexual arousal, etc. Sexual self invites us to learn more of what we have rather than we think. It tells us how our reproductive system works and changes throughout our entire life even on experiencing sexual arousal.

It also talks about different components of love; on how people exchange or make a bond with their shared feelings for one another. Also, the awareness of teenage pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

So, if you’re reading this blog, I would definitely give you a perfect example. Have you heard or watched the series Sex Education? Just let me know, okay?

I’m gonna give you a quick summary about the story. In reference with Google, High school student Otis may not have much experience in the lovemaking department, but he gets good guidance on the topic in his personal sex ed course -- living with his mother, Jean, who is a sex therapist. Being surrounded by manuals, videos and tediously open conversations about sex, Otis has become a reluctant expert on the subject. When his classmates learn about his home life, Otis decides to use his insider knowledge to improve his status at school, so he teams with whip-smart bad girl Maeve to set up an underground sex therapy clinic to deal with their classmates' problems. But through his analysis of teenage sexuality, Otis realizes that he may need some therapy of his own.

This story is pretty nice with the topic about the sexual self, it allows teens to be more aware of what they do. Sexual self is really an important role to an individual, it helps to build a wall of self-awareness since teens nowadays are being pressured of what they see and also they tend to give there all just to be loved then some of them lead to teenage pregnancy/pre-marital sex and others may lead to death due to complication with some STDs.

Some are confused of what they feel and who they feel like being to be. It’s better to embrace who you really are and going out of your closet rather than being who they don’t want to be.

I just want to say and reflect that this generation that we have is unstoppable but it can yet be controlled. We can help them to educate themselves properly and being more aware of these things within the areas of their sexual self because it’s better to be safe than be sorry.

Moving on, let’s talk about the MATERIAL SELF.

The material self is the manifestation of one’s identity through his/her possessions. It can be their house, car, pet, and even clothes that you wear. They feel sentimental to a specific value. There is nothing wrong whether you define yourself from the the things you buy, you always have to make sure that you won’t lose yourself, even your credit card.

Material possession can be reflection of you hardwork (Belk,1988). It can also affect your personality and the way you see yourself. There are some people who get sick, literally sick, from being a compulsive/impulsive buyer. It could cause depression, anxiety and even death. Being satisfied with things is not a problem but we have to make sure that we do need it and not just go hoarding stuffs. So, one of the best Confessions of a Shopaholic shopping tips is to think first. Before buying anything, ask yourself a series of questions: Will I wear/use this more than once? Is this purchase going to affect me in a good way? Does this item match other ones in my closet?

For me, being materialistic also has it’s negative effects, being boastful and also decreasing of the budget that you have. People to tend to be jealous with others of what they have because merely the mass or social media manipulates each individual’s mind, mostly females. People measure you things for you to be accepted by them. In the bright side, people tend to measure success also through the amount of things they possess because that individual is seeking high level of achievement or in Layman’s terms - HE DESERVES HIS HARD WORK AND SATISFACTION. Just like by buying a phone with the money you earned from your first ever salary. Materialism has its ups and downs, as long as it doesn’t destroy the your identity and your pockets.

In the other hand, SPIRITUAL SELF.

Spiritual self is the inner essence of your life force.

Spirituality generally refers to the meaning and purpose of one’s life. Spirituality talks about worship, religion and act of faith. It doesn’t mean that we do have different beliefs and religion that doesn’t mean that we are different from each other. We strive, we suffer and we succeed. All of us experience the same virtue of life and it is in us on how we try to make it worth and different.

Spirituality also talks about logotheraphy - which is the pursuit of human existence as on man’s search for reflection. It is also a method that psychiatrists use to help their patients reconnects with themselves and stop being isolated with depression and anxiety.

I believe and I doubt; everyday we do not experience SUCCESS, VALUE, AND SUFFER. Life is not sweet if it’s not a roller coaster full of surprises and life is simple but not easy. Whenever we feel down, we come back and pray to our life force. We make ourselves feel optimism and faith to get back to ou feet. We reflect and meditate of things that makes us happy and worthy. No matter how hard and destructive life can be, you will never forget what is your true purpose in this world and we should go back to grounded in soil and fulfill.

I’m gonna give you a quick overview about the POLITICAL SELF

Political self begins defining politics. Politics exists in all human societies. It can be in school, family and also churches. Popularly visible in governments. This helps to be more focused and considerate with your knowledge and responsibilities. This will help the self to maintain an environment where people can participate and learn about dominance, freedom and rights.

As a democratic country, we have the right to vote. This resembles the importance of having human rights and free will.

I learned that we should know what is right from wrong about this. We can also be leaders and followers in our own way. People have power in their palms and also in their voices. I believe that the political self can provide the cultivation of individuals’ decision makings and also about their rights not being deprived.

Lastly, DIGITAL SELF.

Technology is fantastic. We send emails, watch movies online and just even use our phones to order food without going to the restaurant. Isn’t that amazing?

Digital technology is at the peak of our horizon. Technology influences the quality of life and the ways people act and interact. Technology is everywhere, we sleep with it and we even go to work with it. The whole world revolves around digital. But how does this affect ourselves?

People, mainly teens, are so obsessed with social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat). Digital self allows you to express or share yourselves through the internet. People tend to be more interested having ‘hearts’ and ‘likes’ rather than loving themselves. They depend of what people might say and to impress to get their social approval. As a matter of fact, you can also gain money with these ‘likes’ and ‘subscribers’ you have just like on Youtube. Take Cong TV as an example.

It may also change your life in a good or bad way. You’re taking all the risk for it. Just like the movie, Nerve, where this young girl, Vee decides to join Nerve, a popular online game that challenges players to accept a series of dares. It's not long before the adrenaline-fueled competition requires her to perform increasingly dangerous stunts. When Nerve begins to take a sinister turn, Vee finds herself in a high-stakes finale that will ultimately determine her entire future.

Another one is Xander Ford - keeps on being bashed just because people see him as senseless and has a horrible attitude. However, this may lead to social suicide. People being rejected and being embarrassed then end up getting depressed.

I do agree that digital technology is pretty amazing but it can hardly be forgiving.

Like what I said, Digital technology has it’s side effects, you can literally be hacked and also been taken hostage for SOCIAL IDENTITY THEFT or FRAUD. Criminals are also in the deepest areas in the internet.

So we have to make sure of what we put on social media and even in the internet and the internet does not measure who we are and how we are loved. They even see it as a wasteland where people shed their tears and not to mention it’s also where we can store our memories for a lifetime. We always have to remember that we should THINK BEFORE WE CLICK

I think that sums up our tour. Before I end this blog, as you can see I am very fond of Supergirl. She strives her way out of the shadows just to know what is her purpose and to know more what she can do just by understanding herself. I just want to let you know that it is really hard to understand ourselves. We keep on trying to ask the same question over and over again.

People cannot define ‘YOU’. You are the only one who can define yourself.

This subject made me realize that I am greater that who I knew I could be. That is it. No amount of words how grateful I am to realize that it is really important to understand yourself and to figure out your purpose in life. In addition, this subject helped me thought that knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom and mastering yourself is the power and strength. You have nothing to prove and no one to impress with.

Sometimes understanding yourself is pretty tough but when you reflect and get all the pieces together. As long as you have hope and faith within yourself, I’m pretty sure you’re gonna know what purpose in life that you have and so that you can influence others through a lighter path.

#UnderstandingTheSelf #BeYou #Self-Awareness

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strawberryybird · 5 years ago

Note

So whats your favorite thing about each of your fe3h favs? Anything you could just go on a long rant about for any of them? or interactions between them that you wish had happened or wanted to happen.

Waking up in the morning and going through all of the drunk blogging and “-thank-u-for-weathering-my-deep-need-to-be-liked-and-given-attention-off-main-I-guess” if this isn’t a whole mood on its own I don’t know what is. Anyways it sounds like you had fun and it was definetly fun reading everything. I hope you are feeling okay the day after everything. And to tack on a random question which fe3h character would you want to get drunk with if it was just the two of you?

Hi Hello!! thank u for enjoying my drunk blogging !!! and for the asks!!! (and the lovely comments on my fics actually hi there ur wonderful!!!) i’m currently cursing the damage i’ve done to my sleep schedule and suffering under my (truly deserved) hangover lmao ;p apologies u don’t get drunk me, only uncaffeinated hangover me, but we talk to the same degree and make the same spelling errors lol

ah yes.. im a fountain of moods (all of u still with me here are saints hhhh)

ok content time:

the second one first: i absolutely want to get drunk with ferdinand von aegir. the man’s a hop, skip and a vodka shot away from a mess. i love him. he’d be full of conversation and would buy the rounds every time as a true nobleman should !! he’d probably be really good at instigating drinking games but horrible at playing them.. i love party gay ferdie von aegir.

i’m going to LIMIT the faves i list because truly i love them all very much but i have to at least pretend i have some restraint and i don’t want to make this even More of a wall of text it’s going to become . SO

edit: ok i started writing this at like. half ten pm. when the fuck did it become monday.

edit edit: Disclaimer time: these are my conclusions and my conclusions alone. I’m not saying I’m objectively right or correct. I’m very much approaching this from an English Lit-ish point of view because that’s just how I look at a lot of media. I’m not asserting my opinions or conclusions as the only viable to interpret this media, and if anything I say offends you then I am sorry, it was not my intention but I acknowledge that I have hurt you. This is not the exhaustive list of my thoughts on the whole thing, there’s a lot more depth and detail I didn’t go in to.

My favourite thing about Edelgard is the Everything, but notably I really love her proud nature and how in VW it quite directly gets her *spoilered*, and in CF it’s integral to her success (bc it’s her own rigidity within herself that keeps her standing i think) and I Like Tragic Characters (and it’s very elinor dashwood). because it’s one of the qualities that can throw her character into a villainous light & it’s really interesting !! but at the same time.. it’s not quite ‘pride’ purely, and it’s kinda the wrong word. it’s some mixture of determined/stubbon, anger, self-reliance, and that really hard veneer of personality u develop when you’re around people who aren’t healthy for you to be around, and the very very critical need to be right about the choices you made because the weight of the consequences would kinda ruin you if you weren’t. (the dean winchester effect huh) and wrap that up together with a big scoop of ‘i believe my way is right’ (’and my way Has to be right’) and then u get a lot of what i LOVE about Edelgard’s character

My favourite thing about Dorothea is really how she was the character that Hated the war. genuinely the contrast between white clouds dorothea & timeskip dorothea Breaks My Heart EVery Time I See Her !!!!! that and Spoilers!!! (her last words in AM unrecruited is edelgards name and i literally had to stop and cry about it for five minutes.) she’s one of the characters that post-war doesn’t have a Massive political stake in the war - like there’s her anger towards the current class system (another reason i bloody love her PLEASE give me angry feminine characters) but i think it’s her bonds with edie (or byleth&whoever if recruited) that keep her actually fighting in the war & it’s kinda different and i like that (actually i think she parallels/sends up/contrasts really really nicely with mercedes in that way)

my favourite thing about Marianne is just everything. how she finds worth within herself if you play VW (and the very very harrowing hc that she didn’t if you don’t), how she’s full of a quiet rage for the crest system but you eek it out of her as you play the game. how she’s still loved by the deers despite her appalling mental health (fight me on that canon) and the game essentially has her ‘save’ herself by finding worth and life within herself. i love her so much ok. (i also love her because she committed identity theft.. she and i share a name with the second dashwood sister oho (but i don’t use that name on the internet hhh) (also because my favourite shakespeare play is king lear (no really it is), my birthday is in red wolf moon too, i used to have very long hair i wore in a plait most days for school, little 11 and 17 year old me acted Exactly like white clouds marianne did & genuinely i love marianne von edmund to pieces but God it hurts to see her in game sometimes bc her journey mirrors a lot of mine & i love this character. so much.) WOW that was a lot. am i sure im not still drunk

so claude is not only one of my favourite characters in the whole damn game, but also shares the name of one of my favourite painters so i simply have to love him ;p however i can’t give a proper opinion on him yet because i haven’t finished playing deers yet :( but !! i love how (as is with all the lords) he has a veneer of personality to him, but in contrast to Edie where it’s quite seemless with her actual personality, Claude’s veneer of personality seems very opaque and plastered on. i may or may not just be wildly imagining things but he’s a very different personality in his lower supports with Lysithea than he is in his B support with Marianne, for instance. like, i love characters that are obviously a lot more socially intelligent than i could ever be, and claude is *chef kiss* BEAUTIFUL ON EVERY LEVEL.

i’d wax lyrical about Ingrid too but honestly there’s many better people out there with the good ingrid content than i could do. shortly, i love the New Take on the pegasus knight archetype she brings, and i really like her perspective on femininity !!! she’s such a good character & she brings so much to the game and to the pegasus knight character too!!!!! she’s such a bright personality and altho i wish so many of her supports weren’t centred around make-up (hhh dorogrid fans i pray for you), i think she’s really going to pave the way for whoever’s next in that character slot. (like, you can’t tell me she’s not an offshoot of Phila from awakening lmao)

no ok i’m adding in Hubert because i love this vampire man. i really really love the devoted servant archetype and we all know i love edelgard’s tragedy. and i love hubert. so much. the way he enables edelgard in pretty much everything is just so so interesting to think about, and i love his intensity about it. he’s like the ever present reminder that edelgard’s will kinda has to work otherwise the potential consequences of her being wrong are personified in hubert imo. it’s only touched on in VW in his letter but like. god i wish we got more but it’s a wonderful starting block. i love his comic relief as well, he’s such a fun character to have !!!! and also i have so many hubert fics in my bookmarks that just Get him. i love hubert. oh i love hubert.

i’m going to cut myself off there because . that’s just a LOT.

as for characters i would sell a limb to have them talk to each other, honestly it’s Edelgard/Marianne. (and only 51% because of all the projection i have going on with those two ok don’t at me i k n o w). that support chain would be too powerful and honestly i wish they had one becuauese it would have gone so Hard about what Edelgard was doing and what Marianne thought about it, and how they connected over it & they probably would have had their supports set over cups of tea or smth .. it would have been amazing.

(but i’d rather have nothing than an awakening-level-content support where they talk about eating fucking bear meat instead of talking about how they grew to trust each other with and their ability to save the fate of the world HUH AWAKENING. (i’m salty about fredrobin forever)

also hilda/dorothea supports . we were robbed. they’re best friends and you can’t actually tell me otherwise. they run the disaster bi chat of garreg mach. honestly i just would Love a support chain for them that starts with them talking about self care routines and something really small like accessories or perfume and it goes into how self-esteem and how dorothea has to find the same worth in herself as hilda so easily can. (hilda’s the queen of self esteem she’s a babe) and in CF they could have dialogue and then we cry about it. and in SS they talk about how they both chose their place with Byleth and not at edie/claude’s side like i’m just free balling here it could be Anything and i’d love it.

also big shocker .. dorothea/marianne supports . they both hate themselves in their profile CAN THEY PLEASE CHAT.

also i accidentally fell in love with the claude/edelgard ship and i desperately need them to interact on the same level that edie and dimitri get to because.. aren’t there supposed to be three main characters huh intsys .. and like i get what the game goes for with two of the lords embroiled in a personal war against each other at the heart and the third actually finding something close to the truth because he’s not involved in age old grudge matches but at the same time That’s one of the things that really really falls flat for me in the game. dimitri’s villain is edie, edie’s villain is big dragon wife, claude’s villain is the lack of communication that everyone in fodlan suffers from apparently. lack of communication and lies. ymmv with what im saying rn but i would have preferred if all three lords had strong personal ties to each other and in Each Route it was brought up. or just snip dimitri’s dialogue out of CF because i have beef with how that WHOLE moment went down on so many accounts hhhh honestly it makes me angerey to think about lol

.. back on topic- can the lords pls talk to each other because it would be SO interesting in white clouds and i like seeing how their personality presentations clash

also . can i marry manuela yet. my crops are dying here.

.. im so sorry about this but it’s midnight and i’m too tired to edit so. have this. thank you so much for the questions!!!! very kind (and brave) of you to ask me!!!!! i had a lot of fun writing all of this & as always if anything you didn’t quite /get/ i’m happy to re-explain myself!! :)

#ask #OH HELL THIS IS A POST HUH #fe meta #i mean it's not its just me having opinions rather loudly on ur dash #also that paragraph about edelgard is pretty much what i keep in mind to write her for my rtau fic #this is LONG im SO SORRY but NOT SORRY AT ALL #ur an actual angel if u sat thru this all #anyway. thank u so much for the ask that's so kind of u and i sent this mess back out into the world #my apologies oml #ok it's gone midnight im hitting post before i chaneg my mind #kalinary

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notquitejiraiya · 6 years ago

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Just a very short fic [1,287 words] in appreciation of the wonderful artwork of our Nara boys done by the incredible @trubwlsum. Check his blog to see it if you haven’t already!

His art is so inspiring, and the serene feeling I got from this drawing moved me quite a lot. I hope this little tribute does it at least some justice.

Father & Son

Shikamaru had been told by dozens of people that his life would change when he had a child; that he’d sleep less, that he’d have far less time alone, and that his wife might become even more of a nightmare at times—although he was never to mention that to her if he wanted to keep his head. But the thing he’d been told the most was that his perception of the entire the world, of its meaning and his place within that meaning, would alter—disfigure into a completely different form to what he was used to.

Of all of the things he’d been told—most of which he had found to be true—none of them had hit him quite like that final one.

When he found out he would be a father, Shikamaru hadn’t known how to feel. Not because he didn’t want to be, but because how on earth would he know how? But they were right; every single person with every single item on that list. The day Shikadai had first been placed in his arms, a bundle of blankets and tiny tufts of black hair, he felt something wash over him that he had never felt in his life.

He had thought that he had loved his friends until he met Temari, and who’d changed his life so wonderfully over the years. And he’d thought he’d loved Temari—which of course he did with his whole heart—until he held that little boy close to his chest. That feeling was the love that he had been meant to feel his whole life, and it hit him so strong that first day he met his son that, from then on, his wife had a million more reasons to refer to him as a crybaby forever.

Now that day was some time ago, and those little wispy hairs had grown and formed their own little ponytail to mirror his own. Gone were the silent gurgles and mindless flailing of tiny limbs. Those had been replaced by little giggles and the constant urge to grab at his father in any way he felt necessary; pulling his hair, tugging on his earlobes, or wrapping his hand—barely bigger than Shikamaru’s middle finger—around the man’s thumb.

He knew his son was bright and that he had to relish this feeling of holding him on his hip, the little baby-grow softer to touch than anything the boy might ever wear again. “You never want them to grow up,” his mother had told him. “You were much less of a handful as a baby.”

And Shikamaru, unsurprisingly, had to agree. Holding him here like this, knowing for a fact that when Temari got home she would resume her attempts at teaching the toddler to speak, he wanted to live in this moment forever. As he gently bounced his son up and down, ignoring the tugging on his hair—the one thing he wouldn’t miss in years to come—his eyes wandered around the living room, and something caught his eye.

A picture, in the centre of the shelf. It was one that he must have stared at longingly a thousand times, but for the last year and a half, Shikamaru felt like he had barely recognised its existence—his mind had always been elsewhere. But, as his gaze locked onto it, a feeling ran through his body that he just couldn’t explain.

He shuffled over toward the shelf, listening to Shikadai’s happy giggles as they moved together, and picked up the elegant frame with his free hand. There, surrounded by smooth wood, was the only picture of himself and his father that he kept in his own home. There Shikaku’s hand rested on his shoulder, a subtle smile gracing his lips as the lines around eyes told the true extent of his glee. Without thinking, Shikamaru leant down to place a gentle kiss upon Shikadai’s forehead, his heart sinking at the thought of how tiresome taking that picture was; how bored the fifteen year old the photo depicted seemed, and yet his father didn’t seem phased. As it had for years, this small, biting regret nipped at his brain. He really should’ve tried harder…

And then it hit him, the most surprising feeling of them all.

Holding Shikadai, having a son on his own, made him love his father more than he ever had before.

It had taken years, too many years, for Shikamaru to understand the depths of his father’s love for him. But now, holding his world to his chest he knew he’d do anything to protect that little soul; the bundle he was now, a little rascal or the young man he’d become in a flash of light, Shikamaru would always be there to look after him. Nothing mattered more to him.

Shikaku had lost his life a hero, at least in the eyes of his son, and that son only now knew why his father had been so calm and so okay to go. Everything was alright because, in dying, he had saved his son’s future. He paved the way for Shikamaru to live his life in a better world. He had been calm because he understood; he had been calm because of how much he loved him.

Staring at that photograph, the young man knew that didn’t matter what it might take from him, even if what was taken was the breath from his lips; if Shikamaru could do anything to give Shikadai a chance at the best life possible, he would.

This newfound perspective made him feel guilty that he’d never appreciated the world that his father had laid out before him.

A tear began to bud in his waterline, falling before he could blink it away.

“I’d give my life for you to come back, Dad, and meet him. But I’ve got my own little problem now,” he whispered, placing the frame back down and wiping his eyes with his free hand. “I better give him at least as long with me as I had with you, huh?”

As if he understood Shikadai pulled on the developing beard growing on Shikamaru’s chin, and with a groan he turned to face is son, pushing away his tears to softly chuckle at the happy little boy.

“You see him?” he mumbled, pointing at the photo as he hugged him. “That’s your Grandad, Shikadai. Yeah?”

Shikadai palmed in the direction of the frame and looked Dad his, as confused as you’d expect any baby to be, so Shikamaru simply pressed another kiss on his forehead and sighed softly.

“He would’ve loved you, kiddo. And you would’ve loved him.”

Who am I kidding? he thought to himself, biting his lip. He does love you.

He held Shikadai close and looked down into those big teal eyes, the most gorgeous feature the boy had been passed down. “If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t be here. And Daddy wouldn’t be here either, strangely. Or even Mummy.”

The little boy giggled, reaching for his face once more, but Shikamaru simply smiled knowingly as he looked down.

“One day you’ll understand what he did for us, Shikadai,” he mumbled, his voice quaking with heartache. “And you’ll be as proud of him as I am.”

As he looked down into his sons eyes, Shikamaru swore he suddenly felt a change in the air—a calmness—as though the world was truly shifting toward something wonderful, and all was okay. His eyes fluttered shut as he rubbed the symbol of his clan that graced his son’s back, remembering fondly the feeling of his father’s hand gracing his shoulder.

“We’ll do you proud, old man. I swear we will.”

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kinfriday · 5 years ago

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Wandering Hops: Epicenters and Fears

Fear makes things bigger in your mind than they are. This is especially true in my case taking that I have an anxiety condition.

For me, there is very little chill, and every issue, even a perceived issue can become a massive crisis in my head in an instant. This is one of the reasons I hike. Conquering miles and rough terrain, helps turn down the volume on all the static surging around and empowers me in my day to day.

At least, that’s how it normally goes…

Loowit Falls, at first, absolutely terrified me. As said in previous blogs, research is the key to a good hike. Before I set out on a trail, I check reports, check what the forest service (State or National depending) has to say. I read reviews on All Trails… and consult guidebooks if I have them.

Knowledge can make the difference between a great hike, and an utter disaster, so it helps to do your homework beforehand.

Cliches seem to be multiplying today, so let’s move on, shall we?

Selecting this hike, I knew it to be a challenge. It’s rated as hard, clocks in at a whopping 14 miles, and is a there-and-back-again hike. Any time spent going downhill in the beginning, means uphill at the end, and vice versa. As you can see from the altitude graph, this was going to make the end especially tough, but as I was reading, it wasn’t the physical challenge stressing me out, but the trail reports warning me of ledges with severe drops, gravelly sandy trails, and grueling up-hills that did.

Still, I’d been feeling strong the last month, making miles, and conquering hikes. Long hikes are my thing (more to come on that later) so a 14 miler seemed a logical next step.

With my chest tingling with excitement and a touch of fear, I told my team… “I’m gonna do it.” Or as Maya would say… YEET.

So now it was time for the research to really begin. I began looking at the topo maps, and followed the trail on google earth. I made my plans, talked to my husband, and began to get the logistics worked out.

Saturday, 0430, I was up and getting ready for my biggest hike to date, and all the while I was doing final gear checks, looking at maps, all that fun stuff, my nervousness beginning to build.

Then the husband woke up, around 630 as he often does before a hike, just to spend some time with me and said, in fearful tones.

“Bun, I’m worried about this one.”

I just smiled and said. “Me too, but I have fallbacks in place, and if it’s something I don’t think I can do, I’ll turn around and reassess.”

Then, he rose, hugged me, and began pricing life insurance policies.

I shit you not… this happened. I’m about to leave on a massive, monster hike, INreach SOS beacon charged, maps printed out, checklist double checked, and I’m looking forward to a nice encouraging talk with my husband, and he leaves to check on life insurance policies.

It’s moments like this that keep a marriage together, I tell you.

Full of confidence, I set out on highway 504 towards Mt. St Helens, the Spirit Lake Highway, only to run into a very unusual type of traffic in Toutle Washington.

Come to find out, there was a bike rally scheduled for the day of my hike, and there were hundreds of them on the side of the road, making their way to Johnston Ridge, the very same place I was going.

Now, I can almost hear you reading this, and shrugging, no big deal right? Well for most people that would be true, but for me, well… driving is something that makes me feel anxious, my mind likes to mess with me, and so for many years I didn’t. It’s only been recently after a lot of work and dedication that I’ve felt safe getting back behind the wheel again and now I had to deal with bikers everywhere, some of whom were so bold as to occupy the car lane, and refuse to yield.

On top of this, the weather turned foggy as I entered what is colloquially known as Big Foot Country, so as the long and windy road took me towards the parking lot, I was feeling more, and more stressed.

The day was beginning to feel cursed, my confidence was getting shakier by the moment, and I hadn’t even set out upon the trail yet.

Finally arriving at Johnston Ridge, the trail head, almost 4000 feet in elevation, the fog was even thicker. I couldn’t see more than 10 feet in front of me at any given time. Still, that was enough to sight the trail, and there were others there, getting ready for their own adventures. It was a motley mix of hikers, tourists and those waiting for the bikers to arrive as they picked their way up the road, but hey, at least there were porta-potties.

After taking a few centering breaths, and strapping on my gear, I set off, hiking towards Boundary Trail, which would eventually take me to Loowit Falls.

This entire section of Mt. St Helens is filled with history, making this trail an even bigger draw for me than others. Boundary Trail #1, was founded way back in the first decade of the US Forest Service. In 1911, Park Rangers rode horses from ridge to ridge, patrolling what was then the border of two national parks, Ranier and Columbia.

Loowit Falls on the other hand, is of the newer type of history. After months of erupting back in 1980, one morning a 5.1 earthquake struck the already battered region, and an entire wall of Mt. St. Helen’s crater collapsed, and turned into a hellacious landslide, ultimately opping a peak before crashing into the valley below, inundating Spirit Lake.

Loowit Falls was one of the many new features that arose out of the cataclysm shaping the region, up on the mountain itself, directly in the path of the former landslide.

First though, I had to get there, and the hike starts off easily enough. There’s an observation loop that lets out to the Boundary Trail, that’s made more for tourists than hikers, so the first little bit is paved. Soon though, it gives way to gravelly dirt before angling down zig zagging and switchbacking, but I’ve seen all that before. Been there done that.

And there’s another cliche…

After about a mile and a half in, still wondering if I should really attempt to go for the falls, socked in by fog I came across a sign showing the trails in the area along with this picture…

Nervously, I set out from there, heading towards my decision point. I could have gone left, or right. Left had an easier hike, that went up to a peak, ending at around 10 miles covered, with less elevation gain, but to my right, shrouded in fog and mystery, was the hike I came to conquer.

This was the real moment of truth. All I had was my research that said it could be challenging. Some reported the height could be intimidating, others said it was merely tough.

What should I do?

Taking a (figurative) leap of faith, I decided to for it, comforting myself with the idea that it was ok to turn back if things got to intense, and began to descend down the trail, and the mountain, making decent time. The pillowy shroud of fog continued to lay across the trail granting me no wider vista than 5 or 10 feet, but the path was wide, and while I did get closer to edges I still had plenty of room.

Eventually things leveled out and I could tell I was in a valley as the fog slowly began to lift, and I’m thinking is that it? Really?

From my perspective there had been nothing to be truly afraid of. The descent wasn’t especially challenging and I had felt safe the entire time. Unlike the husband searching for life insurance, this buoyed my confidence, even though I had eleven miles still to go. With a bounce (hop?) in my step I set out, the fog continuing to lift, revealing more of the stark landscape around me. Black and red lava rocks dotted landscapes that were in some places sandy, other places akin to moonscape, sparkling with volcanic glass and in others, covered with thick shrub like trees, or coated in wildflowers of amazing colors. Chipmunks ran to and fro, eating flowers and wondering if I was going to feed them, while birds flew overhead.

Then it happened. Suddenly the clouds broke and there was a literal mountain in front of me, emerging out of the fog like some giant from the dusty tomes of mythologies. Mt. St. Helens lay before me in all its majestic glory, and off in the distance, a light glinted off a fast moving waterfall surrounded by volcanic sand.

That was my half way point, where I would turn around and come back, Loowit Falls.

I stood there for a moment and took it all in. The vista before me left me awestruck by the power of nature. Then, taking a deep breath, I dug in my trekking poles and began to hike.

And hike….

Then hike some more…

As I went traffic fell away to a few familiar faces, I’d pass them, then they’d pass me as we took alternating breaks, until finally around 2pm, I rounded a switchback, and heard for the first time the roar of a waterfall.

There it was, right in front of me, the moment I had been waiting for. Loowit Falls, in all its splendor, flowed relentless down the mountain as the wind howled off the glaciers above, chilling the air to what felt like the mid to upper 40’s.

Buttoning down my outer layer, I made my way to a flat spot, laid my pack out and had lunch, reveling in my victory only for my open pack to flop over and spill out on the ground, voiding its contents. I went from resting to scrambling as I dove for my glasses and meds, hoping they wouldn’t fall off the edge.

In some ways, it reminded me of the day so far, there was a sensation of “emotional breathing” to the experience, stress followed by periods of ease, akin to the contraction and relaxation of breathing. Up and down, in and out, oh shit to okay…

And this was the halfway point, soon I’d have to go back the way I came, picking my way back up the mountain I had descended to get back to the trailhead. The only difference being, was that now I knew the trail, I knew what to expect, so I hoisted my pack, tightened down my straps, took some water, and got back on the trail.

My speed increased, as the air warmed and I left the slopes of St. Helens, making good time across the dramatically stark volcanic plains. Gradually, I began to feel more accomplished than I had in a while and, by the time I had hit ten miles I was riding high. With four miles left to go I charged forward, eager for the challenge.

Then I started to climb. All of the descent from the morning, had to be repeated, this time going up. This is where it got grueling, as if the trail was attempting to punish me for every step I made down upon it just a few hours before, but there was nothing else to do but push through it, keep pace, and enjoy the view as I ascended, granting me new perspective now that the fog was gone.

There were places where it was quite steep, and the drops quite far, the morning’s fog had hid all that from me, but there was room, there was space, it was something to respect, but it wasn’t anything to fear.

All of that worry, all of that concern, and if I had let it stop me, I wouldn’t have been there.

Humbled by that revelation, sore from the elevation I was having to make, and humbled by a day full of experiences, I pushed myself up the trail. Soon there was the last arcing climb, until I set my feet on the pavement of the observation trail yet again, and just beyond was the parking lot.

Setting my gear in the well of the passenger seat, I popped an electrolyte tab into my water and watched it fizz as I nibbled a Clif bar, feeling like the master of my own little universe, resting from the exertion of the day. Once I had some time to recharge, I put the key in the ignition, put the car into drive, and had a major anxiety attack.

The problem with anxiety attacks it that you know, rationally, everything is fine. The problem is your brain isn’t listening to reason. I worked through my coping skills, and tried to get myself centered, but nothing was working. I was exhausted from the hike, and the worries of the day, and it was all crashing in on me at once, amassing as a parade of my biggest fears, and inner demons within my mind.

I made it about three miles before I had to pull over. I stopped in at the Coldwater boat dock, the location of last week's hike, and took a few more deep breaths, walked around the car, and tried to get my mind right. Finally I messaged my husband letting him know what was going on.

Messages travel slower by satellite than text, and so I had some time to sit. I looked out on the parking lot, at the strange bathrooms that looked like forgotten temples, and it reminded me that I had hiked twelve miles last week, and today, I had hiked fourteen…

That caused my brain to stop and pause for a moment, like rays of sunshine penetrating the gloom.

I had excelled through challenges, walked along ridges, and managed my water. I was capable, I was competent, and I was ok.

In the face of this revelation, the anxiety began to let go, and a lightbulb went off in my head. I had a weapon now against it, a reminder, that I was stronger than I thought, and as the messages came back from my husband and other supportive folks, the anxiety withered away.

In spite of all of the difficulties of the day, I had made it, and now, all I had to do was drive home. Turning the car back on, and setting into drive, I carefully made my way out of the parking lot, already thinking of next week's adventure.

#hiking #adventure #mtsthelens #wanderinghops #studioprey #rebeccamickley #pacificnorthwest #trailreport #amblogging #blog #pnw #anxiety #fear

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officerjennie · 6 years ago

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Naruto Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Pre-Slash, Magic-Users A commission for @kitsunekage88 - hope you like it!

Commission and Ko-Fi info in blog header :) Click the link or continue below to read!

Traveling alongside a high ranking fire elemental hadn’t originally been on Tobirama’s To-Do list. Interfering in anyone’s business seemed so unlikely it was laughable at this point in his life, so used to minding his own, taking work where he could and never staying still long enough to learn the names of those around them let alone help them. Growing attached enough to a cause to care was as foreign to him now as it had once been a part of his nature.

What exactly had possessed him to aid in this venture, then, he couldn’t really say. The part of him so against careful analysis of himself wanted to say it was merely for the sake of preserving what was left of his powers. Too many dragons had been lost already, the earth’s magic dwindling further and further as their blood seeped into the ground. Jealousy was a nasty beast that drove men mad, and the ancient sky gods said to be too intertwined with the planet’s life force to cause any harm, even to defend themselves from their impending extinction.

Protecting one, preventing yet another dragon slayer from slaughtering a sacred animal for its scales and bone, should have been his reasoning. Stopping a magicless human from felling that which gifted the world what they could never use was surely enough to allow another pair of boots to march alongside his own, to sit across the campfire from another person for the first time in years.

It hadn’t been the only reason he’d stayed rooted in place at the inn all those nights before, voice cracking with misuse when he’d agreed to aid the Uchiha with his mission.

Their destination was the forest region at the northern border of their territory, at the foothills of the Senzu Mountains. Any path, dirt or paved or otherwise, had been left behind them several hours hence, the crunch of leaves beneath their feet only accompanied by the chattering of squirrels and the incessant grumbled curses under Madara’s breath. Even after traveling in each other’s company for weeks now, his pride had apparently not yet healed from the blow of asking for aid, no matter that it was necessary. An elemental might need no conduit to call upon their powers but it came at the cost of being limited to their bloodline’s element. With the hanging trees and brush becoming denser around them with each step, it was all too clear fire would do more harm than good here.

He paused as he felt a shift in the air, stopping next to a young oak just tall enough to avoid being smothered by its brethren towering above. Something pulled at the edge of his senses, tugging at the magic in his veins, and whether or not it was a warning or a call he could not tell.

“Why on earth are we stopping here? I see no dragon or slayer, mage.”

“Quiet.” Fingering the silver talisman hanging around his neck, he stepped closer to the oak, removing one glove with his teeth to place his palm flat against the rough surface.

Madara’s indignant squawking slipped away with his conscious awareness. Becoming one with the greater stream was dangerous, leaving a small part of himself behind each time he reached into it but he did so anyway. Followed the endless tracks like spiderweb fractures on glass, felt the pulse of something beyond his understanding, overwhelming enough to be just around the next corner but never quite able to find what he was-

There.

It took more effort to pull himself back together than to let go, but that was nothing new. His tracking had felt like seconds to him though by the look on Madara’s face it must have been some time. It left Tobirama panting, blood trickling out of his nose but he wiped it away with little care, slipping his glove back on and taking a moment to gather his wits.

“East. It’s due east.” He hated how breathless he sounded, how he didn’t feel like himself after (it had been far too many years since he had stopped feeling like Tobirama, so much of him lost in small increments. Yet every time felt like a fresh wound that made him long for the comfort of the family he’d lost touch with long ago).

Giving Madara no time to respond, Tobirama set off immediately toward the source of heavy energy so dense it made the air thick around them.

Tobirama may have never seen or sensed a dragon before, but he knew a powerful being when he felt it. And that energy had been massive and very much alive.

The quiet lasted only a few minutes between them, the whole while Madara’s steady gaze burning a hole in Tobirama’s back. If it wouldn’t have been a waste of precious energy to fight with him Tobirama was tempted to snap and demand what the issue was. Madara solved that mystery for him either way, walking faster to catch up and frown thoughtfully over at him.

“Sure you’re going to make it, mage?”

His tone lacked its usual verbal sneering, barely sarcastic enough to not be sincere concern. Not knowing exactly what he was supposed to do with that, Tobirama stopped to send a seething glare his direction, clenching his fists to stop the exhausted shaking in his arms.

“Spare me the unnecessary concern and worry about keeping yourself in control. The last thing I need is to deal with a forest fire brought on by a temper tantrum.”

“Temper tantrum?” Small flames flickered to life in black hair, and Tobirama used the moments it took Madara to breathe through his frustration to duck under a low hanging branch and continue onward.

Sheer stubborn will was all that kept him going until dark. By the time Tobirama allowed himself to rest black had crept into his vision, and he all but collapsed against a vine covered tree trunk, any and all camp setup left to his companion as unconsciousness took him.

The midday sun greeted him through the thick canopy overhead. It was quiet around him but not eerily so, air heavy but not suffocating. Before opening his eyes Tobirama took stock of his state, making sure he’d fully recovered from slipping into the magical pathways the day prior.

When he lifted his head, Madara stood not far away with a large hawk perched on his arm. He seemed unconcerned by the sharp talons digging into his skin, head titled to the side as the bird clacked its beak.

Madara chirped, and it sounded so close to an actual bird sound Tobirama snorted in surprise. It earned him a sharp look from his companion, and a squawk from the hawk as it took off, leaving behind a deep cut on the arm it had been perched on.

“I didn’t know you spoke bird, Uchiha.” Despite his drawling tone, it was admittedly an interesting and unexpected talent. Not that he thought Madara could truly speak an avian language, just that he’d been clearly attempting to communicate in some fashion.

“I wasn’t speaking bird, mage.” Tobirama rolled his eyes at the obvious statement, finally pulling himself up while Madara continued. “She’s trained to understand my commands - how do you think I planned to track the hunters in such a large forest?”

He had a good point, though Tobirama wasn’t going to admit it out loud. Instead he rolled his stiff shoulders and dusted some of the dirt and leaves stuck to his cloak.

“Since you asked for my expertise, I thought it understood that I would be doing the tracking. Why else would I have wasted time locating the dragon if not to find our quarry?” Without being able to sense the hunter’s magic, since they lacked even a drop in their system, he couldn’t exactly track them. But knowing what the hunter was here for made that getting around that hurdle easy.

“Well I hadn’t planned on having help.” Madara crossed his arms with a huff, ending the conversation with a childish jerk of his head and something too dangerously close to a pout to be good for Tobirama’s sanity.

Before his brain could make any insane connections between that expression and anything even remotely close to the word ‘cute’, Tobirama turned away and busied himself, crouching down to search through his pack for a late breakfast.

It took another two days travel to reach the heart of the forest. Location wise it was no where near the center, but the magic was so thick there it near sparked across his skin, the trees so old and tall they blocked out the sun. Yet though the sky was not visible, the forest around them was lit by something unseen, so bright they could have traveled on during the night if they had wished to.

The fact that the forest was not only surviving but thriving with a giant fire-breathing reptile residing there had Tobirama understandably baffled. If it weren’t for the otherwise in-explainable force they were making steady ground towards, he wouldn’t have believed it to be the right place at all.

But even Madara had begun to sense the energy, every so often shaking himself with furrowed brows at the odd sensation. So further in they went, climbing over twisted roots and pushing past plants that had grown well over three times the expected size - making Tobirama more than thankful for the unusual lacking fauna population. Dealing with a fifty pound squirrel or a two ton bear weren’t exactly up there on his bucket list.

Early afternoon on the third day, Madara held out a hand to stop him without warning. When Tobirama sent him a sharp look he merely pointed at a low hanging branch, gesturing towards where his hawk sat staring off beyond the trees ahead.

They crept up close, discovering the forest opened up to a clearing. In the center sat a giant stump, several men tall at its highest and far too wide to measure by sight alone. The clearing around it was bare of trees, instead filled with wildflowers and splattered with berry bushes, a sea of color surrounding the umber brown bark that almost seemed alive despite obviously being long dead.

This was the source of the magic, the heart of the thrumming woods. He had little doubt that the stump was the dragon’s den.

His suspicion grew stronger when he spotted the hunter. Two of them, as a matter of fact, communicating through hand signals he couldn’t fully make out from their hiding spot in the tree line.

Madara already had his weapon in hand, a gunbai previously strapped to his back that was no doubt usually meant to fan his flames. He raised a single brow at the odd choice even as he pulled a scroll out of his pack, running a finger over the seals to activate them and pull out his staff. Not his choice weapon, but without a natural water source it would take too much energy to use that element efficiently in battle. A blunt bit of sturdy wood could knock most people out with enough force; the fact that it was a conduit of its own only made it even more useful, giving him the option of earth magic if it became needed.

Sneaking up on the hunters proved easy, and one went down in an instant when Tobirama cracked his skull open with a swift strike. It was a bit of bad luck that Madara didn’t manage the same, Tobirama turning around to find him struggling against his opponent, fan against blade, the elemental baring his teeth as they pushed against each other to see who would falter first.

Not wanting to too obviously steal his thunder, if only because he’d never hear the end of it, Tobirama called to the plants around him using the earth conduit embedded in his staff. Such magic wasn’t his strength, but it bent to his will with a little effort, roots tangling around the hunter’s feet to give his companion the advantage.

The resulting victorious and near feral grin on Madara’s face as he stood triumphant sent an odd shiver down his spine, and Tobirama looked away quickly to not have to analyze the feeling further.

Checking the bodies was a necessary evil, needing to find whatever magical item they’d used to track the dragon. Stolen magic, if his gut was right, and even knowing the amulet might be useful to him didn’t stop Tobirama from snapping it to pieces. Nothing was worth using magic taken by force, ripped from the user’s body, a part of them lost forever. He knew all too well what it felt like to lose parts of himself, but at least his were lost to the greater stream by choice.

With the threat dealt with, their mission of sorts was complete. Madara seemed ready to leave immediately, leaning against his gunbai, head tilted back to watch his hawk circling above them.

But something gave Tobirama pause. A familiar thrill down his spine. The urge to discover, smoldering curiosity, still muted as every emotion was to him but trying its best to tempt him anyway.

Scientific discoveries had lost their flair to him years ago. All his hobbies had fallen to the wayside, more victims of his sensing magic. Interest sapped out of him, leaving him to wander aimless and hoping to stumble upon a purpose once more.

A dragon lived here. A dragon. Creatures that had went into hiding centuries ago, almost abandoned to legend by most since so few living had ever seen one. Just inside the stump. And it begged to be discovered.

“What are you doing, mage?”

Madara sounded baffled, almost concerned, but Tobirama paid him no mind. Instead he wandered around the stump, finding the part with the lowest height and judging the best way to climb it.

“Wait, what are you doing?”

“Just a minute.” The first few feet were easy, though the sputtering behind him was rather distracting. He ignored all of Madara’s spewed protests, slipping and cursing as he caught himself once more, pulling himself up further.

The last step, last foot of bark, had his heart beating fast. Hands shaking with excitement. One of the original magic users, one of the very beings that had given the earth and all the races therein magic, created the greater stream that connected so much of the world. Just beyond this last foot of bark, a dragon-

It wasn’t there.

He stopped, halfway pulled up on top of the stump. Blinked unbelieving at the empty ring of just more grass, just more flowers.

No dragon. No reptile of any sort. And nothing to suggest anything had ever lived there.

“Are you coming down sometime today or not?”

“It’s not here.” He whispered the words, only vaguely aware he’d done so, flooded with disappointment. Swallowing it back the best he could, he leaned back far enough to look down at his companion. “It’s not here, Madara. The dragon. Nothing is.”

“Then hurry up! I’m tired of eating granola and berries, get down here so we can leave!”

“Alright, I’ll be down in a second, don’t set anything-”

The ground shook violently, cutting him off. It was enough to throw him off balance, scrambling to find purchase but unsuccessful as he was pitched backwards off the stump.

His back hit something hard though it wasn’t the ground. The groan of protest and steadying arms around his waist clued him in, though his mind was quick to focus on something much more important than the fact that Madara had saved him a nasty fall.

The ground wasn’t shaking. The stump was. Bark peeling away from the dirt and grass around it, as if the roots were digging themselves up, leaving deep groves in its wake.

Only once a massive snout appeared, one giant eye rolling about until it spotted them, did it finally click.

“Dragon,” Madara breathed in awe behind him.

“Technically, a lung dragon, but yes.” His voice was pitifully small as he took in the creature towering over them, the branch-like knotted horns atop its head, the lack of wings at its sides. The way its scales clacked together as it shook itself, the ground rumbling and forcing the both of them to shift their weight with it. It sounded like bamboo in the wind, like the wooden wind chimes the elders in his home village had been so fond of.

Neither of them moved. Tobirama found himself holding his breath as the dragon’s eye moved over and passed them, its head moving up and down as it sniffed the air about the clearing. Madara’s hands tightened around his waist when its shadow fell over them, though it shifted soon after, focusing in on the two corpses laying still on the ground nearby.

The cry it made when it sniffed the bodies went straight to Tobirama’s heart, eyes falling closed against the mournful sound, throat tight. It pitched lower as the dragon scooted its head towards the dead hunters, flowers and bushes sprouting forth where its nose touched the earth, the one big eye Tobirama could see full and wet.

A single tear fell down its scaly cheek as it turned towards them, long tongue flickering as if to taste the air. With its neck stretched out against the ground, it nudged forward closer to them until it was but an inch from Tobirama’s face.

He’d never been more frightened in his life, and yet he felt no ill will coming from this beast. Without even being able to communicate with it he could tell it didn’t mean them harm, though Madara didn’t seem to be as convinced as him, a low whimper escaping him that he would no doubt deny later.

After a few moments of stillness, nothing but the gentle breeze moving about them, the dragon inched forward to nudge Tobirama once - and the force of magic that shot through him at that single touch nearly brought him to his knees, left gasping and clutching at his chest when the dragon pulled away with a pleased shake of its body.

It trumped on off to another side of the clearing, stretching and shaking once more while Tobirama all but gawked at it from where he knelt on the ground. Then the dragon flopped itself back down, the force shaking the trees and sending Madara yelping to his bottom, both of them staring at the ancient being that once again resembled nothing more than a giant stump.

“What...just happened?” Madara’s confusion was understandable, but it hardly registered. Tobirama was too dazed at the moment, too busy running an inner analysis of all the things he could feel, all the parts of him that had been lost suddenly slotted back into place.

“It healed me.” He sounded small, felt small, compared to such a being, and it took several minutes for either of them to recover enough to be on their way once more, looking over their shoulders until the inconspicuous stump fell out of sight behind the trees.

By the time they made it to town a little less than a week later, it still didn’t seem real. After all the time spent as less than, being fully himself again was almost overwhelming, mind whirling away with the storm of thoughts around what had happened to them.

“You know, there are probably more out there.” Tobirama eyed the man at his side in his periphery as they entered the local inn, the burn of curiosity coming back like an old friend. “More dragons. More hunters as well.”

Madara’s frown didn’t have a hint of displeasure in it, huffed breath more a show than anything else as he headed straight for the bar, waving down the tender to bring them their first hot meal in weeks. “If that’s an invitation, mage, it’s a poor one. Gonna have to do better than that.”

They both knew he didn’t. Not after what they’d seen, the benevolent majesty that had shown itself to them, the creature powerful enough to shatter the trees around it and crush them - that had mourned the passing of those who would have done it harm, as if their deaths had torn into its heart.

If protecting such a creature hadn’t been reason enough to travel together before, it was more than enough now. And without even discussing it they left town together the next day, originally meaning to part ways but now set on the same path.

He might have never considered traveling with a fire elemental before, used to being alone after all his years as a vagabond. Madara was certainly an odd choice for a companion as well, quick tempered and full to the brim with snark. But Tobirama realized quite quickly that he didn’t mind the company all that much, feeling at easy with another person poking at the campfire, another pair of boots beating the dirt down as they tracked another rumor across country.

And if there just so happened to be other reasons keeping him at Madara’s side, other interests beyond scientific discovery, it would hardly be Tobirama’s fault he found himself falling for the man who had dragged him out on his adventure - and had inadvertently saved him by doing so.

#MadaTobi #madara #tobirama #fanfiction #mywriting #commissions

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occultspirits-blog · 5 years ago

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Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven” influenced Modern Art, here’s how.

Hi all and welcome to Spirit’s blog. Today I wanted to discuss one of my favorite poems, “The Raven” by Edgar Allan Poe. This poem is a Romanticism literature piece, that has a talking bird, sorrow, loss, and a bit of delirium. If you have never read it in it’s entirety, keep reading, and if you have and love it like me, well enjoy.

The Raven, by Edgar Allan Poe

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore —

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

“’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door —

Only this and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow; — vainly I had sought to borrow

From my books surcease of sorrow — sorrow for the lost Lenore —

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore —

Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain

Thrilled me — filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;

So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating

“’Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door —

Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; —

This it is and nothing more.”

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,

“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;

But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,

And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,

That I scarce was sure I heard you” — here I opened wide the door; —

Darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,

Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;

But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,

And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore?”

This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!” —

Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,

Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.

“Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice;

Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore —

Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; —

’Tis the wind and nothing more!”

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,

In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;

Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;

But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door —

Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door —

Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,

By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,

“Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven,

Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore —

Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,

Though its answer little meaning — little relevancy bore;

For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being

Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door —

Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,

With such name as “Nevermore.”

But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only

That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.

Nothing farther then he uttered — not a feather then he fluttered —

Till I scarcely more than muttered “Other friends have flown before —

On the morrow he will leave me, as my Hopes have flown before.”

Then the bird said “Nevermore.”

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,

“Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store

Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster

Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore —

Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore

Of ‘Never — nevermore’.”

But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,

Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;

Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking

Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore —

What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore

Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing

To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core;

This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining

On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o’er,

But whose velvet-violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o’er,

She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer

Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.

“Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee — by these angels he hath sent thee

Respite — respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore;

Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil! — prophet still, if bird or devil! —

Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,

Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted —

On this home by Horror haunted — tell me truly, I implore —

Is there — is there balm in Gilead? — tell me — tell me, I implore!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil! — prophet still, if bird or devil!

By that Heaven that bends above us — by that God we both adore —

Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,

It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore —

Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting —

“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!

Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!

Leave my loneliness unbroken! — quit the bust above my door!

Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;

And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,

And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;

And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor

Shall be lifted — nevermore!

Now that we are all on the same “page” 😉. Edgar Allan Poe was an American author, editor and literary critic. He was born in Boston,MA, on January 19, 1809. He wrote “ The Raven” in January of 1845, and it was instantly popular. He was one of the first writers to ever make a living wage as a writer. He published many short stories and poems in his life. He was also a major contributor of bringing Romanticism to the United States.

For those who do not know Romanticism was an art movement that started in Europe in the 18th century. It focused on emotion in art and individuality of man. There is also connection to the scientific advancements of that time pertaining to nature. There was special attention to the emotions of fear, shock, awe and apprehension, before this time period there was mostly only religious figures and artifacts as art. This was the time for man and all his inner workings to be in the “lime light”.

This time period saw many talented artists across all forms of medium. For example: William Blake (poet/painter), Francisco Goya (painter), Eugene Delacroix (painter), J.M. W. Turner (painter), Edgar Allan Poe (author) and many others. These artists were pioneers in the era of man, to say, they paved the way for man to be self aware.

So now you may wonder how this pertains to our time. Well, any form of art is composed with a viewer in mind, the job of an artist is to cause the viewer to have the intended emotion. If you see a picture of someone scared, you scan the scene to find out why and become fearful when you find the source. This is the entire point to modern art, to convey emotion. Even TV commercials rely heavily on the basics of art, to sway people into buying their product or service. So if what we strive to achieve is emotion, then the Romanticism movement is the first introduction to combining art and emotion. They were the forefathers of modern art. So the next time you see art, and feel something, remember that started in the 18th century. Blessed be.

*If you would like more posts like this one, please tell me in the comments, I would be more than happy to write them.

#occult #art history #the raven #modern influence #edgar allan poe

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