#so many characters tags ohmygod

[adaume]

FORGOT TO POST THIS HERE Happy birthday Reigen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tiofrean]

Oh boy... OH BOY... I was reading through comments and tags under that Flint vs. Stede post (and before that in Silver vs. Oluwande post) and OH BOY RANT INCOMING

Feel free to ignore. No, I'm prickly about this.

I LOVE how people are like "Black Sails fans are so mean why are they like that T.T ?" in the tags and comments.

LET ME TELL YOU.

So we have this show that has been marginalized and has been pushed to the side for years. A show that has excellent plot, wonderful intrigue, magnificent representation and well-written, 3D characters that are complex and relatable. You get your edgy queer men (whether you want to characterize Flint as gay or bi, doesn't change the fact that he likes dick whichever way), you get your edgy queer girls (Anne), you get your flamboyant whatever-the-fuck-Jack-Rackham-is (<3), you get sweet gays (Thomas), you get confused bisexuals (Eleanor, Silver), you get straight sweets (Miranda) and straight angery dicks (Woodes Rogers), and competent, edgy straights (Vane). Oh! A competent, master-of-the-house lesbian? Check (Max). You even have asexuals, or that is what I shall forever classify Billy as. You have a f/f sex scene in the first damn episode, ffs. You get threesomes (sexual, romantic), you get couples, you even have Silver in a brothel orgy.

But sexual representation is not ALL! You get goofy pirates (Jack Rackham), you get serious pirates (Blackbeard), you get balls of rage (Flint), you get chill, laid-back sea dogs (Gates), you get competent little weasels (Silver), you get incompetent rats (Dufrense). You also have marvelous extras and side characters (Beauclerc the marksman, Captain Fruit-Fruit, Idelle... OHMYGOD IDELLE <3333).

There's the political plot that's historically accurate, the story's plot that's Flint's big gay rage, there's the sociological context of being painted as a monster, there's the gold hunt, there are ships correctly operated by crews of more than five fucking people, there are guns, blood and realistic injuries. You get quotations and allusions to Shakespeare, Cervantes, Julius Caesar, Marcus Fucking Aurelius, a metric ton of other classical writers. You get so many tropes done right it's astonishing and too effing long to list them all here.

On top of that, there is the picturesque landscape, absolutely gorgeous ships and very accurate portrayal of how life looked back then.

We had to defend that show when it first came out, the actors had to fucking fight homophobic assholes upon the airing of season two (IMAGINE THAT), people who loved it had a hard time going around, although admittedly it's a "fandom" hard time, not a "real life" hard time. We persisted, we persevered, and now we're here, clinging to what's left of our fandom, because we are admittedly all over the place and we don't have "troops" on any one social media, which makes our numbers small in comparison to other fandoms, and makes fandom interactions very limited.

Now imagine that there aired a show... a pirate show promising a lot. And then the show turned out to be an office-type comedy with no lesbian/bi women representation (I may be wrong, but I did watch it out of curiosity, didn't see any, just guys). A show that the whole plot of is just a rendition of the Beauty and the Beast for pirate times with so many historical inaccuracies (couching your crew like a bunch of office workers? Plz. The way they speak and the concepts they talk of that weren't there? It's like they were sitting around a fire, holding hands and singing kumbaya). And don't get me wrong, there's place for those shows as well, and maybe it works for you (and great for you too!).

We tried to ignore it, really we did. We basically gave it the eyebrow-raise-huff-ignore thing that you do on the internet when you want someone to enjoy their stuff and are not interested in it yourself.

But you know what happened? Suddenly there were people on twitter tagging everyone and their dog from Black Sails with renditions of Flint/Izzy (Izzy who comes across as an extreme asshole at best and a homophobic shit at worst and you can't fault people for reading it like this). Let that sink in - our fandom babe Flint, who had his whole life ruined due to homophobia and homophobic assholes is suddenly being shipped with a guy who suspiciously fits the description a bit too much for our tastes. Wouldn't you get angry? Of course you would, we're all very protective of our babes. We are, you are, everyone is. We asked you not to do this, and while I admit that hurling curses your way might not have been the most polite way of asking you to stop, the message was clear enough. What does OFMD fandom do? They all double down. Double fucking down on fanfiction and tagging everything in BS again, pairing Flint and Izzy together, writing things way out of the realm of any possibilities because most of the writers didn't watch BS (I did read their comments on that. They weren't even sorry). If you take such character and throw him into a work of art that can and will be seen as controversial, you should at least have the decency to do your homework on the original work he comes from. Otherwise, to our eyes, you're taking the most wronged man from our beloved show, wronged due to his sexuality, and throw him together with a literal asshole just to see them fuck because they would look pretty (and that's an actual comment from one of the artists, I shit you not). Wouldn't you feel a bit angry about that? I bet you would.

What's worse, people loving Black Sails and not liking OFMD usually point out how narrow the representation is, how improbable the show is and how they're not remotely invested in the plot. It's a cheesy show for your average Sunday afternoon, don't make it into something it's not. It's not a political statement any more than Guess The Tune is.

What's more, when I've seen attempts at people pointing out the obvious flaws in plot, in logic (how many people crew that ship exactly? How is he not dead after being stabbed clean through with a sword?), all we've gotten was "Oh it's not that type of show, OBVIOUSLY", "it's just a comedy, duh" and my personal favorite "you just DON'T UNDERSTAND IT BOOMER". (I'm a late Millennial, thx). Every attempt was chucked out the window. What got me most, tho, was the high praise of OFMD IS THE FIRST SHOW TO [insert whatever queer thing it did supposedly]. No, it's not. There was even a post on twitter that debunked all those claims one by one. I get it, you're happy that you got your gay pirates, good for you. But give credit where credit's due, otherwise you're gonna piss off a lot of people. People who watched our show struggle and crawl so that your show can run today and be fine and accepted widely.

And personally, I felt disappointed watching it because of the lack of representation. Disappointed that Ed turned out to be just as rainbowy as Stede. Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against rainbowy, ultra-sweet characters that are big softies. I love them. But not everyone in the lgbtq community is like that. Actually, it's the minority. There are your sweets, there are your glittery rainbows, but the majority is on the more... inconspicuous part of the scale. And there are edgy people (like myself) who don't like glitter, pink, feathers, fluff and a shitton of other things this show had in abundance. You know what made me wince while watching? When I realized that the only person who I could remotely like for the way they weren't so glittery-rainbowy-sweet was Izzy, and I hated him because he was an asshole. Even Jim got the fluffy af oranges arch. So not my (and others') cup of tea.

So yeah, our recent anger and rabidity is not based solely on one post about an insignificant poll (that you're winning only because our fandom is significantly smaller and most people are dispersed between different sites). It's all those things combined and it's the result of them.

And no, I'm not going to finish it with a "please forgive us if we seem a bit angery, we're coping". Flint wouldn't.

[collegetennisoriginstory]

OK. UM. first of all, hiiii! <3 ok lemme just gush a lil bit:

1. I LOVE UR FIC OHMYGOD HOLY SHIIIIIIIT

2. god, i don't even have the slightest idea of how tennis works, but this is just so????? like?????? you know. and i kinda get how the play goes?? YOU'RE AN AMAZING WRITER GOSH.

3. i actually remembered most of the characters?? considering there's a lot of em, this is practically a miracle. again, you're goddamn amazing. i dont know how. maybe the pace is great, but definitely THE CHARAS ALL HAVE PERSONALITY/DEPTH??? like, i actually even remembered the side charas!!! mike, thalia, diego, felix, that cool ass girl in that shooting game, etc. umh just perfecto.

4. THE TENNIS MATCHES ALL FEEL SO SATISFYING!!! <3333333 omg. i feel like WUOOOOOH u know. i feel so cool playing a cool talented mc omg im loving it (i play a i-win-everything type of mc becuz im a perfectionist with a fear of failure) the matches me on edge in my seat oh gosh <3 and when u win it somehow just go WOOOOOOOH again!!! AAAAAA<3

5. aw, and of course, my beloved rivals to lovers rayyan <3333 *sigh* the slowburn.... (hes actually my first & only one. i go: ohhh tension!?!? and make a run for it. um, if it's ok to ask, is there a lot of content in the romance area as of now or in the future? like, replayability in terms of romance? im sorry if this is rude, i didnt mean to, i suck at words & i wont ask that again.)

6. FOUND FAMILY YAY! FOUND FAMILY YAY! <33333 (we genuinely lack those in the if community pls.) soulmates w/ sam. ride or die diego. very reluctant ride or die G (imma be honest, his name is just so hard so my head for some reason just go Guacamole 😭). aww tobin u very big cinammon roll ill protect u. shenanigans. & others too many to name honestly.

7. help this is just so good i had to force myself to sleep at 3am for a 7am lecture and i sat in the front rows and i put my head on the table and the fricking professor called me out ohmygod- BUT IT WAS WORTH IT GODDAMN!! ILL DO IT AGAIN IF I HAVE TO! HA! i cant wait for the next update- i'm gonna have this fic in my head for the next week oh pls noooooo. (no pressure tho. u do u author! take ur time!!! ill be here to support u, whoo!)

8.ALL IN ALL, I LOVE IT I LOVE THIS I LOVE EVERYONE I LOVE YOU AUTHOR *runs over & hug you w/ consent* <333333333333

ok. um. that's not it but if i continue it's literally gonna be an essay so i'll stop.

author. i will die for this fic. ahaahahahah. if i may ask, what's ur fav IFs? (i really, really love this one so im kinda hoping maybe u have similar taste in IFs eheh. again, im sorry if this comes as rude or insensitive.) oh uh & if my long rambles bother u, i won't send it again sorry.

<333 okok. take care of urself, dont forget to eat healthy, drink water & good sleep. have a nice day :D

Wait. I think I might have missed replying to this I am so sorry!!! It gave me so so much joy. Maybe I subconsciously did not want it to leave my inbox haha.

1. And 2 -> THANK YOU!

3. Gosh this is such a great thing to hear. There are a looot of characters, and I definitely worry sometimes that it gets to be too much, but I think the IF is getting long enough for me to give enough-ish screentime to each character... though it takes me a while to cycle back to different side characters. I cant believe you remembered the cool ass girl in laser tag! :)

4. AWESOME to hear! 🥰

5. Yup, being a character driven IF, there will be a lot of romance (or friendship) beats / moments in the IF (which is already true now). The next couple of chapters will follow the same mix of sports, school and romance / hanging out, so you should already have a sense of how much romance there'll be (it'll just keep unfolding / developing for each of the RO routes!)

6. Hehe found family is my fave trope to insert in stories as well.

7. Hahaha aww oh no fictional college life is catching up to your real college life!!

8. HUG YOU BACK (with consent)!!🤗🤗

[away-ward]

Thank you for your reply, KO! This is the anon from #asked and answered 176.

1 yes i like your fics, i like no apologies the most because we had insights to emmy's career and life in sf. Emmy might find herself boring, but ive always been a busy body reader so i would eat up everything about her personal and professional life in sf. I still hated will there, but thanks to you i hated him 5% less

2 "Ummm. I do think it’s a little weird that you’ve read multiple PD books, and even finished the DN series… especially since you were looking forward to Will. Because I hated Will for the first three books and if I weren’t curious about Emory, I wouldn’t have finished the series at all."

KO, you've underestimated a loyal hate reader's journey of hate reading 😂 i love pd's writing and i love some of their books that were not DN because of the chemistry of the main lovers (theyre not bad as many have said actually), but i still hated the ongoing misogynistic dynamic that they always had in their books. Its like having an author that you majorly like what they do, but their side mistakes were big enough to irritate you so you remember them, kinda thing. Do you have these kinds of author that feel like this towards? To answer this simply: pd's books are like worms for brain for me. Like when i read books by Colleen hoover, or hd carlton, sophie lark, lauren asher, or susanne valnti &peckham. It's the kind of toxicity you need from time to time but still get mad and disappointed by your low expectation at their shit ass plot and mfcs and fmcs anyway, yk. 

KO, i cant lie, im just a hater first, a hate reader second and a reader third 🤣 once i stop, i cnat quit. Like damon torrance, that punk ass devils night philosopher said, sometimes you just want to feel everything including the ugly ones you know, and like michael crist the logician, you just gotta own it, before it owns you, GOD HAHAHAH i cant believe im using them as my metaphors right now!! Please bare with me here.

3 "I also find it equally weird that your first impulse after finishing a series you hate is to go to the tag of the character you hated the most? I mean, I’ve definitely clicked on hot-takes I know I’m going to disagree with and hate-read things, but it’s not my go-to."

hmm? KO, i think... youre just not as toxic of a reader than me, ohmygod, im so sorry! 🤣☠️ im really of those people that will immideately look up one and two star ratings on goodreads so that i know my feelings and thoughts were validated by other haters, lmao! Do not mind me, its not a good thing, but like damon torrance said, live, love, laugh, and hate, you know 🤩

4 thank you so much for your recs, i also actually grew up watching hana yori dongo! I watched the kdrama version too but idk if i'll watch the thai version. I have less patient for dramas now unfortunately, and the last drama i watched was "celebrity" on netflix, and i still havent finished it, even after 3 month ☠️ I used to love kdramas and lee minho was so popular back then, so i also watched him in "the heirs" too. Ohmygod his hairsyles in both dramas (boys over flowers and the heirs) were so funny, but i remember enjoying these stories a lot. I believe these two kdramas were released during the time where kdramas were having a lot more angsty romantic relationship than platonic ones and they both stood out among many others, not only because of lee minho, park shinhye and bunch of k-idols acting there, but also because of the friendships and platonic relationships shown that were fun to watch. It's a break from other dramas like moon embracing the sun, or my love from another star that were romance-heavy, yk. But tbh, i prefer my love from another star and moon embracing the sun more than bof/hyd and the heirs. If there are two recs i'd like to give you, they would be "hotel del luna" and "sky castle". God damn, i cried in every single episode watching these two dramas. They really touched my soul, everything was so good!

5 i havent scrolled through your blog and notice your recs for sempre, but from your recs, i checked and saw its goodreads rating and it's pretty high! Maybe i'll check it out if im interested. Seems like a mafia gang story? I need to be in the mood to be reading mafia stories because my first ones were from reading kpop mafia fanfics from years ago and the latest and the last one were the made series by danielle lori. The made series were entertaining but i noticed that i didnt care much about mafias? Hahahahah idk, and idc much about vampires, and wolf stories either, but i like faes. Not Sarah j maas type of faes, but holly black's and cassandra clare's. The ones that are beautiful, creepy, complicated and loves/have to lie but cant. So yeah, thanks for recommending sempre!

6 as for alex, im tired of her, and honestly i dont want to think about her anymore. I'll pretend nightfall alex never existed, and nightfall will grayson fucking died a gruesome death, becoming of two stupid selfish best friends who think theyre the only suffering in this world. You know this reminded me of a quote by madeline miller's Circe that really fits will's selfish behaviour especially in blackchurch: “He showed me his scars, and in return he let me pretend that I had none.” thats exctly how i felt throughout blackchurch. Because emmy always had to heavylift whatever bullshit that alexwillaydin put out to her. And as someone who was so used to just move forward and not caring about her small losses because she had suffered worse, emmy just had to act like she was okay with all the little hurts and cruelty cause by people, just because she loved them/will and wanted to not give up on him and give him a second chance, because he was hurting and she understood that he cared then (🙄). Good thing, she admitted she was at fault partly too, but god, i hated when she felt like she need to go above and beyond for a man who admitted didnt care enough about her. Gods, these mf men need therapy frfr.

7 "I truly am sorry that it was such a bad experience for you. You’re welcome to stick around, but I’m sure since you hated so much, you’re ready to move on after unloading like that. But it’s all good either way. I hope you’re on to better and better things." 

No need to be sorry, but you're right, i'm starting some new reads right now, and idk why, but kandi steiner, liz tomforde and laura pavlov really do be hitting with their releases!! Like their stories are not dark romance so tat cleansed me from devils night series a bit, and they are so fun to read! They gave me melanie harlow's vibes. If anyone's interested, i suggest checking out Blindside by Kandi Steiner, Right Move by Liz Tomforde, and all of these four authors backlogs tbh. Kandi Steiner even have like a college frat series? Which i havent checked out but it sounds fun, and its called Palm South University series.

I dont have anything else to add as well, thank you for reading my rants, have a nice day! I think this will be my last one, so goodbye!

KO, you've underestimated a loyal hate reader's journey of hate reading

Hey!! Okay. This is very helpful! Thank you for the insight. I’m not a stranger to hate watching/reading and (used to) do it frequently. And I would complain to all my friends about all the horrible stuff that was happening, but they knew I was having a good time.

It’s harder when I don’t really know who I’m talking to, to tell if I should take it seriously or if they’re enjoying the trash like me. We’re completely on the same page in that case so ignore very thing I said about not getting it. If you’re having a good time hating it, I got you!

i think... youre just not as toxic of a reader than me, ohmygod, im so sorry!

I might not be anymore but I definitely used to be, ngl. And I don’t know if you can end up running a DN blog without having some toxicity left in you??? I mean. We’re not here because this work was a masterpiece, am I right?

I don’t currently have any authors I must read/hate-read. Like I’ve said, I haven’t had the time to get into a lot of new stuff lately, and my tastes have changed. They could always change back, since reading is a mood-based activity. For now, though, I’ve left the dark and toxic behind for something that makes me feel good about the world.

i also actually grew up watching hana yori dongo! I watched the kdrama version too but idk if i'll watch the thai version. I have less patient for dramas now unfortunately

Oh my god the Kdrama! It was my first Kdrama. Fond memories. And no worries, I haven’t touched any drama in years. Truthfully, I think the only reason I can get into the Thai version is because of the familiarity.

but from your recs, i checked and saw its goodreads rating and it's pretty high! Maybe i'll check it out if im interested. Seems like a mafia gang story?  

It is, kinda? But it’s really layered, with a good plot and great characters. I could ramble about it for a while, but I don’t think anyone is interested currently, so I won’t burden you with it 😂

holly black's and cassandra clare's

I did really like the folk of the air series, and I read the spiderwick chronicles in middle school, but I haven’t gone back to holly black in a long time. I did want to read the new one but haven’t had the chance.

--

Oof Alex. Now that I know where you’re coming from, I can completely agree. I’ve been re-reading and analyzing her intro in Nightfall and how weird it was; how it derailed everything in the worse way. Sometimes, when writers are stuck on where to go with a scene or plot, there’s a tactic that’s recommended: have someone walk in with a gun. It causes enough of a upheaval to keep the plot moving. I’m not sure if that was what Alex was supposed to do, but it really didn’t work for me for a lot of reasons.

Because emmy always had to heavylift whatever bullshit that alexwillaydin put out to her. And as someone who was so used to just move forward and not caring about her small losses because she had suffered worse, emmy just had to act like she was okay with all the little hurts and cruelty cause by people,

Yes! She had to work so hard just for a little, and what killed me the most is reading her scenes where she agrees with them.

She has the moments of clarity, where it seems she remembers why she did what she did, and she's not sorry, and that she wasn’t to blame for what happened to Will. Then next minute… she’s back to blaming herself for no reason? I’ve said many times before that Emory’s guilt is misplaced, and at certain times, it can’t be ignored that it was really PD pushing this “Emory deserves this” narrative, but I just can’t jive with it at all. There's a question on her good reads page where she says that she thinks Will is the most justified in his hatred.

And just... no. He's not. Literally none of them were justified in their hatred. They had the right to feel wronged. Sometimes we feel wronged, even if we carry some of the blame for what happened. But to say they were justified is just over the line. I really wish PD had more balance when it come to assigning blame. I think this series would have benefitted if one of the themes of the story was that everyone makes decisions, and right or wrong, we have to living with them. These are the consequences.

Like their stories are not dark romance so tat cleansed me from devils night series a bit, and they are so fun to read!

Yeah, it’s always nice to find something new that works! Thanks for the recs. I hope if anyone is looking, they’ll look them up. Sorry I didn’t have more strong female friendships, but they can be tough to find in todays romance climate.

I totally get you not coming back. It was absolutely a blast talking to you and thanks for the clarification! It always helps.

Have a great one, KO

[atlantablack]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Thanks for the tag @queerofthedagger <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

103!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

494,845 - which is honestly insane

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I wrote solely for Harry Potter for a longggg time, but nowadays I just write for Merlin, Stranger Things, and the MCU

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

All I Need (is you and you) - (Golden Trio Poly) (Harry Potter)

Impressions - (Harrymort) (Harry Potter)

On Bending, Breaking & Believing (Merlin) (Merthur)

you were born to be a martyr (you refused) (Harry Potter) (harrymort)

my heart's a hieroglyph, it talks in tongues (Stranger Things) (steddie)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Sometimes! I have a bad habit of opening a comment and going "ohhh i should answer that" and then i promptly forget about it five seconds later so....

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Either my angsty harringrove fic I wrote for Mona - we've made a graveyard out of the bone white afternoon - or my Merlin fic where I made The Darkest Hour worse :) - the weight of one man's grief

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

It's gotta be this steddie fic, I think this is one of the fluffiest things I've ever written - and in the darkness you will see the sun

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! Thankfully I'm not popular enough to get hate on fics, the most annoying thing I get is people being a bit too demanding

9. Do you write smut?

Occasionally, but usually only for sambucky

10. Do you write crossovers?

I haven't! But i have at least one marinating that I do really really wanna write

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of......

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also not that i'm aware of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Impressions - (Harrymort) (Harry Potter)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Ohmygod why would you even ask me this question.... god I guess it has to be either Merthur or Steve Rogers x Tony Stark.... those are the OG ships (excluding any Harry Potter ones), I cannot pick between them and I won't thanks

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Oh god, I have this huge Stranger Things steddie fic that was originally meant to be for the big bang before i dropped out - i only have like 20k? 25k? written and my estimate was like 80k or something....god i'd love to finish it, the plot is Fantastic, but I really just don't know if I'll ever get back to it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Probably prose and uhh someone told me once I was really good at like, narrowing in on the small details, also writing grief

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

writing fluff! the struggle is real and that's mine

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I've done it a couple times but just for like pet names

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I think I'm going to say drawing lines - it's the best character study of Gwen I've ever written and I think she deserves more character studies honestly.

No Pressure-tagging: @alchemistc @m-b-w @yammz @rocketnebulas and anyone else who wants to do it! <3

[indestructibleheart]

Fic Origin Story

Tagged by @doublel27 and my most beloved @stereopticons ❤️

What was your first fandom (reading and/or writing)?

Okay, you’re going to laugh... but I’m pretty sure it was Twilight? The fandom I got really, really deep into was Glee. I’m not proud of that, but here we are lol.

What was the first story you ever wrote (even if it was never posted) and what made you decide to write it?

My first story EVER? Oh boy. I was probably around seven or eight. My elementary school had this program called ‘Pinky’s Press’ (our mascot was a flamingo named Pinky), where we could write and illustrate stories, and they’d bound them into these little books. I was literally in the second grade, so it was probably something like “This is Lollipop. He is a unicorn. He eats apples.” (That wasn’t my story - fuck if I remember what I wrote about, but that’s, like, the gist of where I was probably at developmentally. 😂) My mom probably has the stuff I wrote for Pinky’s Press in a box somewhere, tbh. I don’t know how many I did, but I know I participated a lot lmao. 

My first fic was definitely in the Twilight fandom. It was on FF.net, and I couldn’t tell you what it was about, but I do remember I had a whole series.

What’s a piece of advice you would give to your younger fic-writing self?

It doesn't have to all be angst. It's FINE to let your characters be happy. Please get some therapy. Also, you're queer.

^ This was Julie’s answer and... Honestly? SAME.

What’s an early fandom interaction that stuck with you (be it a nice comment, a friend you made, a fic that got a lot of feedback etc.)?

Honestly, I think the feedback that I got back in the day and the friends that I made through fandom back in high school (a few of whom I still have some contact with!) played a huge role in my continuing to write. Having people tell me they enjoyed my silly little works kept me going, especially back then. Hell, it may have something to do with why I pursued a career in writing.

tldr; Comments and kudos matter, folks. Leave them.

Post a sentence or two from one of your older fics, and a sentence or two from a newer one (if you want).

I could not do that even if I wanted to. I have no idea what my FF.net username was. I am wracking my brain, but... I got nothin. However, here’s something that I’d really like to finish:

Whatever he’s saying dies in his mouth when the door to the café opens and a man he now recognizes slips through. By now, David has memorized the lines of his face; he knows the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles, and how his honey-brown eyes catch the light. He’s already traced his gaze over the slight curl to his hair in those pictures — thought about how it’d probably create full-on ringlets if he gave it the chance to grow. He knows how nice he looks in a suit… but he doesn’t know his name. Just the sight of him fills the empty crater in David’s chest, but he doesn’t know his name. 

“Ohmygod, David,” Alexis says, reaching across the table to slap his arm before looking back over her shoulder. “That’s him! That’s the button!”

He flaps his hands. “Shh!” David demands. “I fucking see him, Alexis.”

tagging: @lilythesilly, @blackandwhiteandrose​, @maxbegone​, @dinnfameron​, and anyone else who wants to share!

[astermacguffin]

I posted 23,395 times in 2022

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#he - 81 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#intactics voice ​consider 3 sides. now consider what ‘3’ means in the absence of any sides a 3 totally divorced from quantity. consider that

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Wait am I just misremembering things or did Lily Sunder and Cas really barely interact in the ep where they resurrect Jack? Because it's like. Here's a man who helped in the murder of your daughter and now he's begging you to help bring back his son. LIKE. HELLO. That's super fucking compelling. I think it should have been Cas who made the "you know how it feels to lose a child; please don't make us lose him too" plea instead of Dean. I think the impact of that scene would be better (and also more convincing given. You know. Dean wanting to kill Jack for a good chunk of their intial relations lol).

The scene could go many ways. You can have an angry Lily, who rubs it in hard, the irony of their situation. How unfair it is that Cas has the chance to do what Lily failed to accomplish for decades.

You can have a more sympathetic Lily, who looks at the face of this worn and weary angel and sees someone completely different from the merciless soldier she met a long time ago.

You can have different combinations of these and more. I wish there were more fics exploring the dynamic between Lily and Cas. (If you have fic recs, PLEASE send them here.)

78 notes - Posted January 30, 2022

#4

One of the most annoying responses I see when discussing S9 Dean's toxic moments is "oh that's just the Mark which means dean is absolved of all moral responsibility for his actions" which is. Huh?????? That's such a boring and stupid response and it's kinda on par with the way some folks excuse everything that late-seasons Dean does by saying "oh that's just Chuck manipulating him, which means he totally can't be blamed for the things he did" which is also soooooooo.

Like. Okay. On the one hand I kinda get the impulse to go straight to a Doylist explanation and blame the writers for writing Dean in such egregious ways (because it's TRUE) but like. Personally I tend to find that boring after a while. This is my weaker argument.

My stronger argument is that by refusing to grapple with the events of canon by transferring the blame to some other external force (blaming the Mark/Chuck for the Watsonian, blaming the writers for the Doylist), the characters aren't really given justice

What I mean by this is that it leaves the characters in an awkward stalemate.

On Dean's part: "If there's a force external to me that I can blame (e.g. the Mark, Chuck) then I don't really need to grapple with the things I've done." This is harmful not just to himself but to the people around him, particularly his loved ones who are typically the ones affected by his actions.

This type of thinking actually hinders the characters' ability to properly deal with the events and possibly make amends. They have no mechanism for moving on other than sucking it up and brushing things under the rug.

Take, for example, Cas' internality in the face of all of these things that Dean did. It's natural for Cas to feel negative emotions in response to All Of That (e.g. anger, sadness, resentment, fear, etc). However, if it's true that Dean really isn't to blame for all of That, then Cas' emotions have nowhere to go. "Dean has tried to murder my son multiple times and I have plenty of Feelings about this but actually it's not his fault because he's been manipulated by God so now I just have to suck up all these emotions." LIKE. That is totally NOT healthy for your psyche, angel or not.

The characters end up not being capable of grappling with the consequences of things because agency and moral responsibility keeps being shifted into these external forces.

91 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

#3

I know that post-canon baby jack fics are usually written for fluff but EYE personally think they should be used for evil more often. I want a non-god, toddler jack who doesn't remember much of the very traumatic first three years of his life but still has some glaring triggers. Like. For example, toddler jack is EXTREMELY claustrophobic. Every time they enter a small and enclosed space, he immediately cries and starts clinging on dean and going "I'M SORRY I'M SORRY PLEASE DON'T LOCK ME UP" and both sam and dean feel their guts turning, knowing that they did that to jack. The only small and enclosed space that jack tolerates is the impala. Anyways. Society if more post-canon fics grappled with what sam and dean did to jack before giving us a "happily ever after".

91 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

#2

Hey folks welcome to another evil and fucked up fic concept from yours truly:

S13. Okay. Dean is still fucked up with grief, and the combination of fear, anger, and resentment he feels towards Jack is certainly not a good mix. Still, he prefers these latter emotions because at least they're actionable emotions. You can run away or fight that which you fear or resent, but what do you do to the rotting void of grief?

All these negative emotions eventually spiral into some form of paranoia, a constant stream of "What if he turns evil? What if he takes even more from me?" Over and over in his head.

Now. What if. While they're searching the bunker for resources to help them deal with Jack, Dean accidentally stumbles upon something in their storage: a metal crown and a set of spikes. A contraption that Crowley left behind—Naomi's tools.

In fear of Jack turning evil, Dean picks up Naomi's lobotomy contraptions so he can program Jack to "not be evil."

When Dean straps down Jack into the chair, he gives the kid his very first smile. "Don't worry, kid. I'll make sure you'll never lose your path."

When Cas is finally resurrected again, everything's fine and cool and happy. And then Jack goes "Oh yeah I have weekly tuning sessions with Dean." And Cas asks. What "tuning sessions." And he watches in horror as Jack puts on the crown that Naomi uses for the lobotomies.

Cas confronts Dean about this. They fight. Cas was about to leave with Jack. Dean panics; he orders Jack to hold Cas down and prevent him from escaping.

With Jack's help, Dean tearfully straps Cas down to the chair and puts the crown on him. "I'm sorry, Cas. But I can't lose you again."

Everything is fine and cool and normal. If Sam notices some odd behavior here and there, he tries not to think too hard about it. Besides, this is the first time that they had been this happy and peaceful for a length of time, why ruin it?

Eventually, however, Sam can't ignore things any longer. His suspicions eventually lead him into finding out what Dean's been doing this entire time.

Sam confronts Dean about it. They fight. When Sam was about to take Jack and Cas away from there, Dean utters a trigger word and makes Sam fall under his control.

It turns out that this isn't the first time that Sam found out what's happening, and that Dean has been repeatedly rewriting his memories this entire time.

At first, Dean just asked Jack to erase Sam's memories. This plan doesn't work long term because Sam either just rediscovers what happens or regains his memories. Dean then ordered Jack to gradually and discreetly feed Sam some grace and transform him into as close as an angel as possible so that the Naomi's tools would work on him as well.

This bit is from jay @casnation , thanks for this: Sam repeatedly wakes up and tries to get Cas and Jack out of there but they’re programmed to take him to Dean if he does this. Like, he could totally escape if he didn’t try to save them every time.

There will be a point where the brainwashing gets so severe that they basically lose their personalities in a way that even Dean cannot ignore anymore. And so he "reprograms their personalities back" based on Dean's perceptions of them.

Crucially there will also be a point where Dean realizes just how bad he's fucked up (ideally in conjunction with the realization that he's living with three husks with zero personality), but he's trapped himself into a corner. Because he KNOWS that the moment he undoes the programming, they would all run the fuck away from that bunker and leave him alone. And he would rather reprogram them ad infinitum rather than face the consequences of what he did.

Another incredible quote from jay: "Pygmalion carving himself not just a lover but a family."

More stuff below the cut (specifically how Mary reacts to All of This when she returns from the Apocalypse World):

Dean does NOT have the guts to lobotomize his own mother. He can stomach doing it to Sam and Cas because he's already pretty good at ignoring their autonomy. Which means that Dean has to employ more subtle methods of hiding things from Mary.

He can order Cas to reaasure Mary that "everything is fine." He can also order Jack to distract Mary by bonding with her.

Here's another bit courtesy of jay: "Mary notices something is up with Sam first and Dean just says “How would you know? I’ve know him his whole life, he’s fine, you’ve only been back a year!"

Another jay bit: "no thoughts just mary looking up and realizing the bunker is a clockwork recreation of her fantasy of married life with john with cas as her role. and she has no idea what to do"

I have no idea how to end this. We can go with the more horrific route where Mary never discovers what's truly going on and so they're all just trapped there, Pygmalion and the family he carved.

The other option is that Mary finds out. This has two potential outcomes: (1) Mary convinces Dean to undo the programming. They all run the fuck out of there and leave Dean alone to face what he did. Or, (2) In a desperate attempt to keep his family together, Dean orders Jack and Cas to hold Mary down and make her forget what she discovered. The story ends with Dean, tears in his eyes, putting metal spikes in his mother's skull.

(Also. I want y'all to know that there are more fucked up parts to this but those shall remain in the dark corners of our discord chats lol)

124 notes - Posted March 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hypothetical destiel pairings that are sooooooo important to me:

- stanford era dean and s15 divorce arc cas

Imagine Cas seeing a version of the love of his life that doesn't carry the amount of baggage he currently has. A version of his love that has not yet pointed a gun to his son.

- s4 cas and s13 widower arc dean

Imagine Dean seeing this version of Cas. He's so young! And he still haven't died a single death for you just yet. You look at this angel and think: you haven't fallen in all the ways that matter just yet.

- endverse cas and s15 divorce arc dean

Imagine Dean experiencing a whiplash when endverse Cas confronts him and says "in the worst ways, you're a lot similar to my Dean. Sometimes I think you're even worse."

- faith dean and emmanuel cas

You're dying. You're dying and your dad won't even answer the phone but here comes this man, this faith healer who looks you in the eye and says "you're not a machine, Dean." Who looks at you and sees someone worth saving, someone who you can barely see.

- post-rapture cas and mark of cain dean

"I serve Heaven, I don't serve Man. And I certainly don't serve you." Imagine a post-lobotomy Cas seeing his charge at his very lowest and seeing what he's told confirmed by his very eyes. That the Righteous Man is not who he thinks he is.

- s3 dean and post-swan song cas

You're going to hell. You're going to hell and you can't stop it but here comes this angel who has fallen for you, who rebelled against heaven for you. And you can't stop thinking whether or not you were born with this rot, with the curse to poison everything you touch. But the angel says "I would fall again a million times if it means I get to protect you from perdition."

125 notes - Posted January 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[retvenkos]

ohmygod i just saw the new west side story and let me just fangirl for a second without being critical because !!!!!!!! i have thoughts: (spoilers under the cut but like,,,,, yeah. you knew that.)

SO MANY THINGS TO LOVE OMG I LITERALLY JUST GOT OUT OF THE THEATRE TEN MINUTES AGO LET ME SEE IF I CAN REMEMBER THEM ALL.

MIKE. FAIST. giving the people what they want sIR!!!!!!!!!!!!! he did such a good job and made riff sO. compelling. and i love that for him. man really said he’s gonna give it his aLL. and he dID. god bless you mike faist,,,,,, i understand now why i suddenly saw an uptick in riff fics in the wss tag, asdfghjkjhgfds. he dID THAT. love you sir!!!!!!!!!!!

and not to be a Ben Cook Stan on main but ben cook doing officer krupke???? making me enjoy the song that was generally ~meh~?????? GOOD FOR HIM. it’s what he dESERVES.

and that honestly brings me to my next point but!!!!!!!!!!! they let the jets be kids!!!!!!!!!!!! there were so many scenes that made them kids and it literally makes the entire story that much more of a gut punch because they’re just children! it doesn’t excuse it no sir but it makes it tragic and just,,,,,, amazing. that scene where they were playing with the gun?? or the whole officer krupke scene? or even the playfulness of i feel pretty or maria putting on lipstick only after bernardo has left and can’t chastise her for it????? asdfghjhgfdfghjhgfd. beautiful story telling right there. 

(i kinda still wish we got to see more of the sharks in general, and more of the sharks just being kids, but it’s fine it’s fine.)

BUT SPEAKING OF THE SHARKS LET ME JUST TALK ABOUT THE SONG AMERICA REAL QUICK BECAUSE!!!!!!!!!! they’re dancing through the streets!!!!!!!!!! not just on that rooftop!!!!!!!!! they’re not confined to one small space but are able to claim the streets for themselves!!!!!! idk, i just,,,,, loved that we got to see them out. there. not confined to hiding in the shadows or the rooftops or the dark. i kinda still wish we had a rooftop scene, simply because i like the aesthetic of a rooftop, but DANCING THROUGH THE STREETS. it’s what they deserve.

and while we’re on the topic of the dancing!!!!!!!! can i just say i love that they did long takes???? that they let them dance and show off their skills????? so glad we had some good choreo that could be showed off properly. i aDORE IT.

and aNITA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARIANA DEBOSE WAS GIVING ME EVERYTHING AND I ADORE HER FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!! the most engaging character, quote me on that, she stole eVERY scene and it’s what she deserves. asdfghjhgfdsdfghjhgfd her humor!!!!! her dancing!!!!!! her gRACE!!!!!! her anger and her sadness and her disgust overflowing at the end!!!!!!!!! ariana debose did that and i don’t think this movie would have been as good as it was without her. give ariana debose all my money and all my love. she probably doesn’t need it but it belongs to her regardless.

and how could i forget bernardo????? i love his side story of being a boxer (kinda wish he got to beat up on tony a bit more since his fighting prowess was really built up to but eh.) and i love his relationship with anita. give me more of tHEM, thank you. david alvarez was honestly giving me so much, making my love for bernardo so much more valid. he had so much depth and was going oFF in so many scenes. he was giving the camera his everything.

also!!!!!! the choice of having maria and tony ~go behind the bleachers~ for their first meeting was doing so much for bernardo’s righteous anger. wonderful choice that really Heightened The Stakes. love that sm.

also,,,, while we’re here, i might as well mention ansel elgort. he did good! i don’t like him, personally, but he gave a very solid performance. i like the backstory they gave for tony. it really added to his complexity as a character (and moved it away from a romeo & juliet story line, but honestly that’s a concept for a different day) and gave his motivations reasoning. i have Many Thoughts on how they changed up the song Cool just because it’s one of my favorite numbers, but what they did with it was so eye catching! so fun! so creative! so amazing! thank you for that rendition of cool, because riff got another song and the whole Gun plot was really well done imo. it shows up already smoking and very clearly has Relevancy and thematic meaning and then the way they fight over it in cool? A Concept™ let me tell you. a fully certified, ~bon appetit~ meal. i was fed.

(but also, like,,,, when i listened to the soundtrack a few months earlier, i couldn’t help but feel like ansel elgort, in his solo songs - like maria and something’s coming - was just a little behind tempo. or maybe he just didn’t have the Up And At ‘Em i wanted. watching the show, it’s not so noticeable, and the dancing and choreo during something’s coming really helped, but,,,,,,, just,,,, jump the gun a little, tony (no pun intended). have some pizazz. some life. think that something is coming.)

and okay!!!!! i have held my silence for far too long!!!! rachel zegler was hERE. and she did so much?????? girl gave maria so much agency, and if you weren’t a strong maria fan now, i think you will be because while, yes, they girlbossed maria just a little bit, it makes sense, it feels in character, it was really just a magnification of opinions the other maria already had, and honestly,,,,, zegler pulls it off so well it doesn’t even feel like that’s what they did. idk it just felt like they amplified her character. they didn’t ~Modernize~ her because it was still maria, with just a tad bit more spine. idk idk. maybe i’m just in love with rachel zegler’s performance, who knows? the only time you could argue they took it too far was when she kisses tony behind the bleachers but also???? that tracks???? she was sO. READY. to dance with boys and wear red and go to the dance and experience things! it makes sense imo.

(one critique i have, though, is that her big moment after tony dies and she takes the gun from chino felt a little........ tame? maybe it’s just because i was a Changed Woman when i watched natalie wood’s maria (i know i know but sTILL) go feral. after tony’s death, and i wanted something closer to that. i wanted her to scream at chino and the alley and everyone else!!!!!! i wanted the death of tony to be when she contextualizes the death of bernardo and is filled with hate and gutted of everything else!!!!! because when bernardo died, she just shifted all of her love and hope onto tony and couldn’t lose him and was willing to give it aLL up, but then she loses tony and it’s like she’s lost everything all over again!!!!! because she has!!!!!! and she screams at everyone around ‘you murderer’ because they aLL murdered bernardo and tony and riff and she takes the gun and it’s shaking in her grasp, and she points it at eVERYONE. not just chino and then she says ‘how many can i kill and still have one left for me?????’ and i just!!!!!!! so many eMOTIONS happen in that scene and like,,,,,, i wanted more of them from this version. it felt like the height of the conflict was riff and bernardo and anita, and maria and tony were sidelined in the final 10 minutes of the film. idk idk. i also just wanted her to hold onto him just a little longer. make it feel like it was a big a deal as it was.)

AND WAIT THE BLOCKING FOR THE TONIGHT SCENE!!!!!!!!! how they’re literally separated through so much of it!!!!!!!! how it gave me the ~romeo climbing to reach juliet~ vibes!!!!!! how maria still keeps distance between them with the ladder once he makes it onto the balcony, only to then reach him!!!!!!!!!!!

I also loved how the singing was a little like,,,, in universe? like, sometimes with movie musicals they break into song and no one like,,, remarks on it? it’s loudness? it’s sometimes over the top nature? and it’s fine in a stage production because ~suspension of disbelief~ and whatnot but in film it can sometimes feel.... idk, clunky? but they remark on it sometimes and it just made it feel more a part of the story telling. idk idk.

and the one hand/one heart was actually so good??? how they included the conflicted dialogue in the middle??? the way it was in both english and spanish??? okay, then. just make me love their love i guess.

i liked how they addressed anybody’s a bit more. anybody’s was definitely a character will potential, and this version knew it. i like how anybody’s and tony had a bit more of a friendship in this one - with the brief scene at the dance, and anybody’s claiming tony believes in his ability to be a jet - i wish a little bit, though, that the movie capitalized on that when anybody’s goes to take tony to hide somewhere. but also like,,,,, the movie was getting a bit too long. i know i know. there was already a lot there, i get it.

i loved how somewhere wasn’t sung by tony and maria (i know, shocker!) but it comes at such a tricky time in the narrative, i’m glad that it was more a ~theme~ than a conversation? i also like how they showed that a somewhere could happen. not without its faults, and not without its hardships -  like the idealistic tony and maria hoped - but it did in fact, exist. i also think it leaves maria’s acceptance of tony a little more ambiguous, which is nice since a lot of people’s main problem with maria is sLeEpInG wItH tHe GuY wHo JuSt KiLlEd YoUr BrOtHeR. and like,,,, yeah. big issue. it’s not great. it still happens. it bothers me too, but also, like,,,, don’t use that as a crutch to dislike maria? it’s a fair argument, but i hate that it’s the only one i hear. give me a better reason to dislike maria!!!!! be creative with your criticism!!!! this way, how it all went down is a little ambiguous. we’re not sure how maria exactly feels, and that’s how it should be!

i love love lOVED the inclusion of rita moreno!!!!!!!!!!! she has aLWAYS given me everything and coming back?????? doing the movie?????? giving such deep moments with somewhere, the ‘maria is dead, tony’ scene, and the whole ‘i’ve watched you grow up and this is what you’ve become’ part?????? give her my everything. my heart and soul. rita moreno!!!!!!!!!!! what an absolute star.

oh!!!!!!!!!!! the moment where the somewhere theme started to play and it’s cut off by the train before tony and maria’s date!!!!!!!!!!!! obsessed.

maria wearing a blue dress at the end when she rushes toward tony!!!!!!!!! because tony (and the jets) have been washed in blue and bernardo (and the sharks) in reds and browns and she’s effectively chosen!!!!!! she goes from white, with a splash of red - really just for show more than anything else - to a full on blue ensemble! many thoughts. it reminds me of how, in the 2010 revival, maria sings in spanish almost exclusively, but in A Boy Like That/I Have A Love she switches to english halfway through the song because she’s chosen tony!!!!!! i love little things like that!!!!!! stating her position thematically!!!!!!!

also,,,,,,, hehe dresses go ~swish~ when they dance pretty.

the whole ‘you’re so tall’ bit when maria and tony met behind the bleachers was giving me eVERYTHING. wow, i actually loved them and adored that.

i’m sorry but everything about anita and bernardo made me go absolutely unhinged and!!!!! the flirting through the hanging fabric!!!! the kissing behind the fabric!!!! the whole ‘in english’ tease!!!!! they’re in love your honor, and it always makes me gasp, then, when maria says to anita “you were in love, or so you said” because how very dare you???? how dare you imply anita did not love him????? can you not see it???????? is it not right there before you, maria?????? stOP comparing you and tony to them pLEASE. and the way ariana debose breaks down at that line!!!!!! girl UNDERSTOOD THE ASSIGNMENT and i’m on all levels except physical sOBBING on the floor of this chilis.

did i mention that picking out newsies cast members was so much fun? my mom literally asked me “how many of them do you know?” and i had to laugh.

the cinematography was decadent. so!!!!!!! pretty!!!!!!! so!!!!!!!!! admirable!!!!!!!!!!!

everyone’s already mentioned it, but the impending doom of the entire neighborhood being torn down anyway was honestly a really interesting theme of the story, and i’m glad it got it’s screen time here. i mean, i remember in the 1961 version, you saw some parts of the neighborhood already bulldozed or marked for it, and the fact that it was brought up was really compelling! i think it honestly helped shed so much tragic light on riff’s character, specifically, because for him, the entire conflict is about turf only. whereas with the sharks it’s less so about that and more about,,,,, not being harrassed and stolen from and cheated and killed, so to see that all of the fighting would truthfully mean nothing at all - and to know that going in - really does something for riff that the 1961 version doesn’t. he’s so desperate here, and for what? he even remarks on it! he says he doesn’t know why! damn....... this movie really did that.

and cHINO????????? it’s actually kinda funny how little plot relevancy he’s had in the past, for being the one to shoot tony in the end (although, the argument could be made that there’s strength in tony’s death having very little rhyme or reason to it) but this version gave him something and !!!!!!! how did they know to choose the shy one in the funky glasses???? how did they know he’s always my favorite????? how did they come into my home, decide what would specifically make me engage with chino, and execute it so well???? i’m glad chino had something to give to the story, but i’m sad he had to be the shy one in the funky glasses. i’m sad he had to be my favorite tropes. why did they have to massacre my boy?

(also.... uhh...... side note, but were any side character’s names used frequently enough to be remembered? baby john was always given more relevancy than the others, so it’s fine i knew his name so soon, but i honest to god didn’t know who ice was until like,,,,, 5 minutes to finishing. and why are the sharks still not given as many names as the jets? i just...... i want to know who action is. who juano is. who indio is. even who a-rab is (pLEASE tell me they renamed him though. i thought maybe he was ben cook but did cook’s character even have a discernible name? i’m bad at remembering without subtitles.) or what about maria’s friends? consuelo? or what about rosalia? i know i’ve watched the 1961 movie and read the script more times than others so i probably learned these names from sheer exposure alone, but i need to know their names. maybe when it comes to disney+ i’ll finally know bc subtitles......)

and the costumes!!!!!!! the dresses!!!!!! the cut off shirt for riff!!!!!! and bernardo’s entire color scheme that was just,,,, *chef’s kiss*. i kinda miss the purple suit from the 1961 version, but his red tank top????? thank you, sir. 

that’s all for now, but when i think of more things later, i will add them.

[its-tortle]

ohmygod. wow. this is absolutely insane. i'm just some nineteen year old that drinks too much wine and has a million wips and thinks too much about fictional characters. i cannot believe that there are 500 of you here; five hundred people that like my fics or the gifs i reblog or care about what i have to say. i am incredulous and also bursting with love.

i've only been actively on tumblr since february or march 2020, and to think that so many of you have found me, and that i have found so many of you, in such a short time is wonderful. i've made so many genuine friends here, and cannot thank you all enough for how kind and welcoming you have been to me, even given how laughably late i was to this fandom. i know that tumblr is by no means an all happiness-and-rainbows place, but it really has been for me. i have had one (1) single rude experience, and about ten thousand kind ones to counter it. you make tumblr feel safe and happy and friendly.

from the bottom of my heart, thank you. this site has meant so much to me, and i'm so grateful for every. single. one. of the five hundred people here that make me feel heard, seen, and cared about. thank you for all your reblogging and support, for every tag that has ever made me laugh, for every excited ask or question or prompt i have ever gotten. if you have shown up in my notes even once, i see you, and i appreciate you. you make this tortle very happy.

✨ now, for a celebration of sorts! ✨

i have about 500 things i'm working on right now -- i was hoping to have one of my longer fics done for my 500 celebration, but y'all were too fast for my slow ass -- but it feels wrong to leave you with nothing, so here's what's up.

for the next week (up until midnight on wednesday, june 16th) my ask box is more open than ever! if you want, please feel free to stop by, anon or not, to send any of the following:

a single word prompt - send me one (1) word, be it a piece of dialogue or a place or a color or an item, and i'll write ~500 words of a ficlet for you. if you say nothing, else, i will assume you're requesting stucky, but i'm also happy to write some evanstan. if you're my mutual and you have a more specific request, slide into my dms and i'll probably be more than happy to comply. (please keep in mind that i still am not comfortable writing outright smut!)

a mini playlist request - send me one of my fics or a ship or a trope or even just a vibe, and i'll put 5-10 songs together for you! i'm bisexual, so my music taste is excellent.

any question or comment whatsoever - this always stands, but this week i'm more open than ever. (as long as your question isn't super sexual or an invasion of my privacy) i'll be happy to talk to you about my views on life and love and fandom or my daddy issues or my favorite ice cream flavor. so, ask me whatever you might want to know! or just talk to me! send me pics of your pets! tell me about your day! share a funny story with me!! knowing you all is the greatest joy.

you're all my besties. i love you so much. ❤❤❤❤❤

~ luisa 🐢

[alicetgwdlm]

according to the bf commentary it’s actually shopper no 3 . I am having an identity crisis I do not know what to do

it won’t let me reblog my other post but here’s me being annoying and asking about bf but !!

[crestfallercanyon]

hii

fanfic asks for when you've settled down again for the holidays - no rush <3

-

favorite fic you wrote this year

(my fav of yours was the thomally safe haven 'genfic' (these heavy hands aren't sure) and the thomally safe haven smut (he goes down easy for me, read it if you want to make yourself happy), just saying <3)

longest completed fic you wrote this year

(bc ohmygod your word count in general is :0(impressed) )

fandom you enjoyed writing for the most this year

(say maze runner or else prepare for stabbing (bisexual))

most memorable comment/review

favorite fanfic author of the year (*sits here ready with my notepad to write down recs*)

and one last one that i think is fun:

shortest fic you read this year

-

right. as always tea is incapable of keeping it short. happy holidays crest, ly <33

tea you should do these too because I want to ask you questionss (and pay you compliments because I have loved reading your writing this year too)

So, these were questions from the fanfic end of the year asks, and it looks like I'm being asked about 1, 7, 11, 21, 27, and 29.

Okay, so for 1. favorite fanfic I wrote this year.

This is hard, because I already struggled narrowing it down to five, and now I've got to narrow it down to one.

Think I'm going to go with distract me from my last disaster.

This is a coldflash fic where I finally felt like the dynamic I wanted between the two of them played out. I think this one was the tipping point where I finally hit a stride and stopped doubting my portrayal of the characters. I genuinely think my coldflash post-this fic is much better than pre.

When I Say You Are Killing Me was a close second.

7. Longest COMPLETED fic I wrote this year.

Shuffle at 25,898 words. I was hoping it'd be Conflicts of Interest, but that got delayed the past month. But Shuffle it is!

11. Fandom I enjoyed writing most this year.

NOT DUE TO YOUR COERCION TEA but I would have to agree it is The Maze Runner.

The Maze Runner is my childhood playground that I know all the nooks and crannies in, and it's very easy for me to make up new worlds in the tunnels or dream big at the top of the slide. I read the books as a child, have watched the movies growing up, and I know most if not all the characters very well.

The Flash is a brand new city where I greatly enjoy one or two neighborhoods and the rest kind of intimidates me. Not that I don't want to explore, but it's just not easy. I do love writing Coldflash. However, I have fallen out of interest with the CW's DC shows. There's so many spin-offs, it's just kind of hard to keep up.

21. Most memorable comment or review.

(brief aside: sorry to everyone who I haven't responded to recently. I love you all. I'm just a little backlogged. I'll get to you I swear).

Most memorable? Y'know, there are so many people who kept coming back and talking to me. Not all of you have usernames that I know of, but I've had so many wonderful comments and encouragements, I really can't thank everyone enough. I was actually pretty new to fanfiction, and still feel very new to the fandoms I write in, but everyone's been super supportive. You hear these horror stories, but everyone is so nice! So thanks everyone, especially @sophiainspace, @its-tea-time-darling @sproutwings, @graeae, @un-ah, @qlala (special note to you because the first one I thought of was when you told me you read What's Mine is Yours on the floor), @onceuponabluemoon, @coldflasher, @mylittleangelxxx, @hoesaekyoongi, @dunne-ias, and anyone else who I did not tag -- you're all lovely people who have made my year.

27. Favorite Fanfic Author of the Year

So... terribly, I don't pay that much attention to authors when I read. Here's the three that come to mind and their fics I most frequented:

blacktreecle/towine -- Adagio (Fire Emblem: Awakening)

@un-ah -- a woman wert thou first created (The Maze Runner)

moondown -- get well (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)

29. shortest fic I read this year

I don't read a whole lot of fics under 1000 words. So this was hard for me to think of. I looked at this little tumblr post that @un-ah wrote and it clocks in at 115 words. I like this one, and all the discussions that proceeded.

Happy Holidays to you! Thank you so much for the asks! These were hard questions but I thoroughly enjoyed answering them -- and gosh knows there are probably responses I'll think of later and be like "darn" but rn, this is the vibe.

fanfic end of the year asks,

[nextstopparis]

fic tag game - thnk u for thinking of me @southfarthing 🥺❤️❤️

how many works do you have on ao3?

29..... its rlly bothering me i need to get one more up gbjjhbhb

what's your total ao3 word count?

130,758 (???? WHAT???? I DONT THINK IVE EVEN SAID THIS MANY WORDS IN THE LAST TWO YRS WTF)

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

ive only written for merlin:)

what are your top five fics by kudos?

1. all the things we did not become, 2.08 fix it fic for glompfest

2. he won't tell you that he loves you (but he loves you), a lil fluff for merthur week 2020

3. frozen deep blue (you painted me golden), angsty arthur returns fic bc i sort of got annoyed by the idea that the only issues they would encounter would be arthur adjusting to the modern world.

4. how it was supposed to be, like pre s4 fic (except uthers already dead lol) based on a tsoa scene that i sob over every time.

5. build a house in paradise, modern au slice of life fic full of domesticity.

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

yes i do! it might take a WHILE though bc im just. bad at things. idk i get stressed over saying thank you to strangers online ok leave me alone. but yes id o eventually. (at least i have thus far)

what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

omg. OMG WAIT LOL i was gonna say none bc i dont tend to do angsty endings BUT I DO HAVE ONE!!! (well two, but thisis the angstier one i think): tell me why this has to end is pretty angsty although it does. like. end as the show did lol. well anyway. omg i completely forgot abt that fic:/

do you write crossovers? if so, what is the craziest one you've written?

i dont write crossovers

have you ever received hate on a fic?

errr not that ive been made aware of lol.

do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i do not write smut.. the closest ive gotten is alluding to it skdjncjsnc

have you ever had a fic stolen?

lol why would anyone want to steal my fic skjdncskjncs but no

have you ever had a fic translated?

nah

have you ever co-written a fic before?

NO BUT ID LIKE TO ONE DAY i think itd be really cool:(

what's your all time favourite ship?

well hm. *looks at entire blog dedicated to merthur and like 600 bookmarked fics also about them* ummm,,,, thats a really hard question aha...

whats a WIP that you want to finish but dont think you ever will?

is it a wip if its still just an idea that i havent actually written anything for??? its based on gold rush by taylor swift (ohmygod im so annoying) and i REALLY like the idea but i think im just too scared to start it bc like. it deserves better than me u know sjdcnksdjnksnc ugh.

what are your writing strengths?

my english teacher in hs once told me that im good with voice which is great for writing crack i think

what are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue, plotting, tenses really kick my ass too bc i can never decide if i want to do it in the present or the past. like wtf

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

errrr.... i dont really have that much of an opinion on it? it would be nice to understand what im reading though,,

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

m...merlin..

whats your favourite fic you've written?

invent the future. its the longest thing ive written which already makes it something im really proud of, but i also just like the ideas i explored in it about forgiveness and justice and the nature of destiny and stuff (wowzers im sort of so-fist-o-kate-id huh). it started out as a single sentence and then accidentally became a pendragon siblings relationship repair fic which. i mean. whatever lol. also its the first merwenthur fic ive written which im pleased abt bc i LOVE THEM. and OKAY. so maybe its also just 60k words of an arthur character study. GOSH leave me alone...

tagging: @shana-rosee , @witchmd13 , and @queerofthedagger (if you want ofc!!)

[viscountessevie]

This could be reaching a bit but why do I feel like more people have suddenly gotten interested in Fran because her new actress is more 'conventionally pretty'? Nearly every quote on the official tweet or post here and on ig has been like "wow she's gorgeous she looks just like Daphne now." SOmeone here mentioned that they wished the actress they'd gotten had the same body type as Ruby and I'd have to agree, it feels wrong to have Fran with a Daphne/Phoebe-esque figure now when Ruby was very much not

Omg you're not reaching and the WAY OUR MINDS WORK!! I was thinking of doing a post on this after answering my asks but alot of asks came in hshshs so I'm glad you asked and reminded me! Thank you anon :)

I was just feeling really sad on Tumblr after talking to a friend who was excited about Frannie when she wasn't before - as she should Frannie is a brilliant character and I'm glad she's getting attention even if its not with Ruby - and went to see if Twitter was missing Ruby too.

There's JUST SO MANY comments like "Ohmygod now she looks so interesting to me! I'm going to pay attention to her now" or "THIS is the face that took Michael's breath away" and just little comments like that. I don't know these people - I dunno if they meant to be malicious or backhanded. But like why do you all who like Hannah and clearly couldn't care less about Ruby have to bring looks into it? Can yall stop being weirdos for one minute and just be happy Frannie is getting an arc or more scenes since we're getting a bigger name?

Like if you're sad about Ruby leaving, be sad and mourn with me but don't attack Hannah for her looks. You're allowed to be skeptical about her pulling off Frannie because we haven't seen her in a role like that before (correct me if I'm wrong yall I don't know her full filmography and role types).

On the other hand - a bigger hand now that everyone has their attention on Frannie - what we AREN'T going to do is put down Ruby's version of Frannie. I literally saw someone on the tag basically calling her boring and that Hannah will have "more personality than her and book Frannie." Sorry to YOU for not seeing it but Book Frannie always had a delightful personality. And of course, Ruby didn't draw people like the GA and non-Fran fans in, she was never given the chance to.

As @psyche-edits so eloquently put it here while it's not the exact comments on their post I've seen on my dash and Twitter, it's in the same vein of putting Ruby down to hype up Hannah and that's not cool.

You can hype one or the other without putting one down and you can hype them both up! Be grateful we had Ruby for the last two seasons (I know we barely had her but it's not like they didn't cast Frannie at all) and be excited for Hannah can do.

If you have shit to say about any of them keep it yourself and PMs, we don't need tearing down of their looks and Ruby's vibes not being good enough on the dash or in the main tag.

As for the body type line, I got another ask just focused on that so I'll answer that in a bit and link it here!

[kae-karo]

"911? I'd like to report a loser" + venti

SDFJKLDSJFKLJKDSLFKLJDFS anon this is EXCELLENT thank u so much lmao

[send me a dialogue prompt from this list and a genshin character!]

tags: xiaoven preslash, background tartali, college au (based a bit on this post - x)

----

This is a bad idea. He should turn around and text Zhongli that he’s feeling unwell and go home. Get into bed, fall asleep. Wake up with the dawn and go about his usual schedule.

But he made Zhongli a promise, and he will see it through, no matter the toll it takes on him.

With a shaking hand, Xiao turns the handle of the front door of some nondescript house - currently made less nondescript by the thud of loud music and flash of colored lights - and steps into the party.

“Dibs!” someone shouts, loud and nearby and Xiao’s head swings around, his face warms, but nobody’s looking at him. The place is a cacophony of voices and noises and music, he argues to himself, so there’s no reason to get so keyed up over nothing. It’d just startled him. 

Still, he pulls out his phone.

Xiao: I’m here by the front. Someone just yelled ‘dibs’. Don’t make me suffer this alone.

He hits send, then tucks his phone back into his pocket and glances around. Recognizes nobody, of course, because this is a party filled with people from Zhongli’s classes and department, and Xiao is an outsider. 

Why did he have to tell Zhongli he was standing by the front? He should’ve found somewhere less conspicuous to stand, somewhere he could tuck himself away in a corner and avoid the eyes that seem to drift to him from every person that passes. 

Hell, why did he have to come at all? Zhongli would’ve let him out of it if he’d protested enough, or claimed some imperative homework or project or exam coming up. 

He blows out a sharp breath, then stumbles back as someone rushes past him - yes, he knows well enough how to manipulate Zhongli. And Zhongli knows well enough that he’d never dream of doing so.

With a huff of irritation - and a quick glance confirming that he hasn’t received any messages from Zhongli - Xiao stomps off in a random direction. If Zhongli isn’t even here yet, he’ll-

“Xiao!” Relief floods Xiao’s veins at the voice, and he turns to find Zhongli waving at him from down a hallway. Light shines behind him, haloing him in yellow-white. Xiao weaves his way through other partygoers milling about, drinks in hand or- gods, or making out against a wall. His stomach drops as he squeezes past them, heat flushing his cheeks for no particular reason.

“Xiao, I’m thrilled you were able to make it.” Unlike the rest of the guests, Zhongli has a glass of wine in hand, and he takes a sip before wrapping Xiao in a one-armed hug. Xiao leans into his side, for just a moment, pretends he isn’t here, surrounded by a million people he doesn’t know and-

“Zhongli!” Xiao startles at the voice, swears it sounds unexpectedly familiar. Against all reason, he grits his teeth when Zhongli releases him.

“Venti?” Zhongli’s gaze fixes somewhere past Xiao, and Xiao doesn’t turn quickly enough. The guy races over, nearly slams right into Xiao on his way to Zhongli, and Xiao stumbles back a few steps.

“Zhongli, ohmygods, I just-” The guy - Venti, apparently - groans, then, and buries his face in Zhongli’s chest. Xiao ignores the sudden wave of jealousy. “Some hot guy just walked- he just walked in! Walked right in, and d’ya know what I did?” 

Zhongli casts a glance at Xiao, huffs out an amused breath. Venti tips his head back, stares up at Zhongli just as he turns his attention back to the guy.

“What did you do?”

“I shouted ‘dibs’.” A pause, and it takes a moment for those words to filter into Xiao’s head. Then his face burns with heat, and his eyes go wide, and panic floods his veins - this is the guy who’d-

“Ugh, what am I gonna do?” Venti laments to Zhongli. “I mean, he was- he was just so pretty, I probably freaked him out…” Zhongli’s hands land on Venti’s shoulders, and he pulls him back just a bit.

“Did you? Have you spoken to him since, ah, that incident?” 

“I can’t talk to him, did you not hear what I just said?” Venti whines, and Zhongli nods sagely. 

“Perhaps it’s unwise of you to assume that he’s offended by the comment. For all you know, he-”

“He might’ve found it endearing!” Some other guy - gods, how many people does Zhongli know? How many people are there, that he’s so comfortable with that they can swing an arm over his shoulder and hang on him like they’re- Xiao cuts off that line of thought. He’s not the only person entitled to Zhongli’s time or attention.

Venti huffs out a breath, pulls back and crosses his arms at this new guy. 

“In fact, this lovely gentleman you’re speaking of might’ve fallen head over heels for you at the first sign of- uh…” He glances at Zhongli, and Zhongli quirks a brow. “Whatever you said. Or did.” He grins back at Venti now, and even Xiao is a little irritated by him.

Venti shoves at the guy, which does very little aside from make him burst into laughter.

“Xiansheng, Venti’s bullying me,” the guy whines, tucks his head into the crook of Zhongli’s neck, and Xiao’s stomach swirls with something unkind. Especially unkind, because Zhongli’s lip ticks up at the corner, and Xiao can see the lightness in his expression. Xiao crosses his arms over his chest, tries to bury that bad feeling deep down and ignore it. Zhongli deserves good things.

He blinks, startles when Venti whips out his phone and holds it up to his ear. 

“Hello, 911?” Xiao’s eyes widen, but Zhongli does not look particularly concerned by this, so Xiao exhales slowly and tries to calm down. “Yeah, I’d like to report a loser?” 

In spite of himself, Xiao coughs out a breath of unexpected amusement - it’s not really that funny, except that it kind of is, for how absurd an insult it is.

It is at this point that Xiao realizes his mistake - Venti whirls around at the sound of his almost-laugh, and his eyes go wide when they land on Xiao.

“Hot guy!” he yelps, then slaps his hands over his mouth, and it takes Xiao a terrified moment to realize that he is referring to Xiao. In his panic, Xiao’s gaze flicks up to Zhongli, only to find him smiling. 

“OhmygodsI’msosorryIdidn’trealizeyouwere-”

“Breathe, Venti.” Zhongli’s voice, and Xiao pretends he’s saying it to Xiao as well. It takes an unexpected effort to make his lungs function, and his skin feels impossibly hot. Just as warm, he expects, as the bright-red flush on Venti’s cheeks.

Venti lowers his hands just below his chin, and he gives Xiao an apologetic sort of smile.

“I have had a lot of drinks and I- you’re just, you’re really pretty, and it’s not an excuse but I, uh-” Venti breaks off there, then turns to Zhongli with a panicked hum. “Help?”

“Venti, this is Xiao. Xiao, an old friend of mine, Venti.”

“Great, introductions made. Xiansheng,” the other guy, still hanging on Zhongli’s side, interrupts. “Can we leave now?” Xiao’s stomach turns at the way the guy stares at Zhongli’s lips, the saccharine-sweet and seductive tone.

“Ugh, gross,” Venti speaks Xiao’s thoughts aloud. “Get a room.”

“That’s the plan,” the guy says with a grin and a wink, and Venti grumbles something under his breath as he turns away.

“C’mon, Xiao, let’s find somewhere we don’t have to watch them make out for an hour before Zhongli finds his shame.”

Xiao startles at the warm hand that slips into his, and he glances over his shoulder as Venti leads him away.

Zhongli catches his eye, then offers him a reassuring smile.

The panic swirling in Xiao’s stomach quells a bit, and he turns back to find Venti grinning at him.

“I know we got off on a weird foot,” he says as he drags Xiao through the crowded space. “But do you think we could start over?” 

Xiao’s hit with a wave of fresh air as Venti drags him outside, and the cool evening breeze does wonders for the heat still lingering on Xiao’s cheeks. Venti slides to a stop a distance away from the nearest people, then drops to the grass and tugs gently at Xiao’s hand.

He glances around, a little uncertain, but...but he would absolutely rather be here than around Zhongli and...that other guy. And better this than being surrounded by a sea of warm bodies and loud noise and-

“Okay,” he says as he lowers himself to the ground beside Venti, and Venti grins wide.

“Hi,” he says as he extends a hand - the one he’d just released from holding onto Xiao’s. “My name’s Venti, nice to meet you!”

“Xiao,” he says as he takes it, and a smile touches the corner of his lips. “Likewise.”

[sunsetcurve]

so...the last year has been rough. for everyone. but i’ve been lucky in a lot of ways, especially with the people in my life, and i wanted to take a second to thank some people on here. because genuinely, you guys mean so freaking much to me. i’ve had a lot of online friends in my life but none that feel so much like family. these are the people who have carried me through the last year, who’ve made me feel seen and heard and supported me in all my endeavors and just been wonderful to me all around. i love you guys, and happy new year <3

i’m about to get into it now. and i’ll try not to cry too much along the way.

@neshatriumphs​ nesha, when i say that you’re our fandom mom i mean that you’re my family, i mean that you’re my biggest supporter, my inspiration, my rock, the person who makes me want to be my best self, all the time. i can’t explain to you what your support has meant to me over the years. whether it’s leaving me incredibly kind notes on my fics that make me want to write more just for you, or sending me asks when you know i’m feeling down, or just making me laugh with your hilarious takes, you have always, always been there for me. you’re the toughest person i know and you make me want to keep pushing every day. you’re so incredibly talented; your ideas are just always stunning and inspired and despite being humble about it you’re amazing at everything you do. your art, your writing, your aesthetics, all of it. loeg and share-a-lair were just spectacular and such a show of how complex and original and smart your writing is. barring just your talent you’re also an inspiration in how passionate and kind and dedicated you are. you care for others everywhere you go. you come on here and constantly make me want to be a better person. it’s not just me, either—you’ve taken on the role of helping all of us in any way you can, and you just make us feel loved and supported and give us someone to always look up to. i love you. plain and simple, you’re my family, and i’m so, so grateful to have you in my life.

@juliesdahlias​ you know when you meet someone younger than you and you’re like how do they have this much talent in their body? and you can’t even be mad about it because you just want to root for them and you want good things for them and you think of them like a little sibling? that’s me around you all. the freaking. time. pearl, i’m constantly blown away by how smart and driven and passionate you are. you have so much talent to offer the world and i love seeing you thrive more than anything. you inspire me every freaking day; i mean, your tiara thief drabbles literally made me pull my fic out of my drafts for the first time in months. every time you post it’s something iconic and beautiful, whether its your fics or your edits or your headcanons. and not just that, but you’re so incredibly supportive of everything i put out there. like with ths, the way you latched on to it and are one of our biggest fans and made content for it literally as soon as we started!! that was amazing!! you’re just such an incredible person in every sense of the word; you’re talented and hilarious and kind and passionate and i love you so so much. i cannot wait to watch you do amazing things because i know you’re gonna be one of the greats. ily. 

@ciara-knightly i can’t even put this into words. i’m sitting here trying to say it right and every time i start i just turn into “!!!!!!!!” cause i love you so much. i know i’ve said this before, but shona, you’re honestly like my older sister. this whole year of just, really getting to talk to you beyond tumblr has shown me how honestly kind, passionate, smart, and supportive you are. talking to you is one of my favorite things in the world, whether it’s rambling about tiara thief, or discussing feminism in media, or just getting life advice. you always know what to say to lead me in the right direction and reassure me that things are gonna be okay. i look up to you more than i can tell you; i’m constantly inspired by your talent and your drive. you’re endlessly supportive and you make me laugh all the time, and i hold literally every convo we have close to my chest because it means so much to me to just be able to have them with you. i’ll never be over the fact that you basically discovered jatp, or us talking and making predictions for weeks before it aired, or us plotting out the whole dystopia novel together—which, even though it didn’t really pan out, was such an amazing experience because i got to do it with you. and i absolutely scroll back through our convos on a regular basis to scream over our tiara thief headcanons. everything i’ve done with you has been incredibly fun and meaningful, so what i’m trying to say in this very long winded way is that i’m so, so glad i know you, and i can never thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. 

@bitchmilsky lizzie, i literally think of you like you’re my little sibling. my weird, crazy, hilarious, incredibly kind and supportive and creative and amazing little sibling. ever since i met you you’ve been nothing but fun and friendly and wonderful to me. your posts never fail to make me laugh and i love seeing whatever you’re up to, even if it’s video games that i understand nothing about. you have so many fun ideas and you’re so freely yourself, it’s honestly inspiring. the things you make are always adorable and every time we go live together and chat i always have so much fun, and talking and i just want to meet you in person so badly because i know we’d be an amazing, unstoppable duo and that you’d make me laugh until my sides hurt. i’m still waiting on that cross-country road trip. we could roll the windows down and belt our way through the entire hd musical soundtrack, and it would be epic. for real, though, you’re one of my favorite people ever, and i hope this year brings you nothing but fun and good things because that’s what you deserve. i’m sending you a million virtual hugs and also booty shorts that say poggers on the ass. i love you <3

@zackmartn i know i’m gonna start crying right now because i love you so much and i’m trying not to because i just did my makeup but dammit, nikki, i just love you so much. i remember when i first came on here and was afraid to talk to you because i was like “ohmygod she’s so cool she’s the king of this fandom she’s amazing” but i thank god that you reached out to me every day. i honestly can’t imagine my life without you; you’ve been such a presence in it for so long that you’re inseparable from it. even the times i’ve gone on hiatus i’ve been stalking your blog from a distance like “i just wanna know what she’s up to...”. you’re honestly like an older sister to me and you’re one of the people i admire the most; you’ve been through and continue to go through so much and yet every day you come on here and decide to be a freaking light to all of us, to make me smile, to support me literally endlessly. like, the amount of times you’ve driven me to near tears from your reviews of my writing is ridiculous. the freaking umana fan club?? the way ths is one of your top tags??? it’s just...insane and such a show of how boundless your support is. and that’s not even getting into how freaking talented you are!!! i stare at your gifsets all the time!! and your fics like....holy shit you literally created this whole universe that i’m so freaking invested in and is better than literally anything that canon could ever do, and i know i’m honestly terrible at responding to messages but i hope you know you never have to start holding back with me. most of the time when i get stuff you send i have to sit there and get my thoughts together and that takes forever, but i love love love reading it anyway. the way you get excited about the things you love is everything, it’s something that i really really love about you, and i hope you continue to keep that passion and love for everything. and i hope that this year brings you nothing but good things, because you deserve that more than anyone. i love you. 

@willexs eliza, babe, i know we joke all the time that we were put on opposite sides of the ocean because we’d be too powerful if we were together but i really think it’s true. imagine us meeting. the universe just wouldn’t be able to handle it; it would implode. listen, you’re literally like my twin, my other half. we have so much in common that it’s honestly ridiculous. we operate on the same brainwave, and every time we talk i’m blown away by how easy it is and i honestly love it so much because i could not have picked a more talented and creative and fun person to work with. writing ths with you has literally been like...one of my favorite writing experiences ever. i can’t believe that it started on such a whim because it’s such an important part of my life now and getting to have you next to me while we figure this whole thing out is honestly the best part. it’s not just all the characters and dynamics we’ve created, it’s the fact that i can send you incoherent ramblings at ungodly hours and you’ll pick them apart, it’s the 3-hour phone calls to make playlists, it’s you always making me feel heard and inspiring me. it’s this like...excitement of building towards something amazing with someone i love. you understand me on this crazy and fundamental level, and sometimes it blows my mind how similar we are and how well you know me without us having even met. i feel like we’re the embodiment of “nobody gets me like you”. and i know i’ve said this before, but i really do think you make me a better writer. i love how you make me laugh, i love that you always have the best takes and i love how talented you are with your incredible adorable art and your fics and your gorgeous edits and i love that we egg each other on and hype each other up. i love that, despite being on opposite sides of the ocean, we’re still best friends. and i love you <3

​@cactus-con lou!!!!!! i literally just...ahh i love you so much!! i know i’ve said this before but you were the first person i talked to in this fandom, and you made me feel so freaking welcome. and that has never changed. talking to you is so easy and natural, and you make me feel loved and heard all the time. i love getting to share stuff with you because you always always always hype me up. not just that but like...your talent?? literally unmatched!!! you’re amazing at everything you do it’s ridiculous. i love love love all your artwork, i could stare at it literally all day. you have so much talent and i literally cannot wait to watch you do such great things with it. i just...you’re such a wonderful person to everyone around you. you spread all this love and support and kindness and i think you’re one of the most genuine people i know and i’m so so glad i know you. i hope this year treats you so well because you deserve nothing but good things. i love you. <3

@owenjoyners where do i even start?? brooke, you’re like my other twin. i know i’ve said this before but it’s literally insane to me that we’ve known each other for less than a year because it feels like i’ve known you my whole life. you are such an incredible freaking person. you’re funny and you’re kind and you’re talented and you make me smile every damn day. i love getting post notifs from you because i swear to god i light up every time. your gifsets are always gorgeous, and i’ve watched you learn and improve and you’ve gotten so good, it makes me so happy every time. your art??? you say you’re just starting out but i can’t even tell you how much i love it. your fics!!! you’re good at everything and it’s honestly ridiculous. and it’s not even about your consistently amazing posts, i also just...i love talking to you more than anything, even if we’re just simping over owen together. you make me laugh all the time and you always hype me up; you’ve let me ramble about my fics and helped me get my ideas together, you’ve talked stupid life stuff like school and college with me, and you’ve given me someone to go to whenever i need it. i think of you as one of my best friends and i can’t get over how fast we clicked or how easy it is to talk to you. i need you to come visit me so i can give you so many hugs and we can have a sleepover and talk for literally hours on end. in the meantime, we need to call again sometime because that was honestly so much fun. i love you with all my heart. 

and some people i want to say thank you to, because even though we don’t talk as often as i’d like you’re still amazing, and you make me smile all the time, and i love seeing you on my dash or in my notes: @taylorswiftrulestheworld @onplanetmars @dr-rigatoni @swellviews-finest @symphonic-concert @molinasmercer

[miraculouscontent]

OHMYGOD I just saw your tags on your last Grade for Each Other ask on your Lukanette blog and it just hit me how that line that Fu said at the end of Origins has SUCH a sour taste to it now all things considered up to this point?? Like dear God above it really just now hit me like a ton of bricks??? Any thoughts or analysis you wanna share feel free ‘cause I’m like going nuts with this epiphany right now????

I mean, first of all--kjdngjnfdgjdfg you read my taaaags!

And secondly, sure! I don’t mind!

(for context, this anon is referring specifically to the line, “Those two are made for each other!”)

Nice ego stroke there, Fu, by the way. He might as well have been like, “What good choices I’ve made! It sure is impressive how great of a guardian I am despite my sentimonster murdering everyone in a temple over one hundred years ago!”

The thing that’s always gotten me about dEsTiNy is just that it usually feels contrived. Like, I frankly don’t want to hear about “destiny,” I’d rather be told and shown why I should be rooting for these two characters to get together.

So far, I have nothing, and the logic of “well they’re the ladybug and cat and therefore they’re soulmates/meant to be/mAdE fOr eAcH oThEr (the latter of which could’ve been a meta joke but doesn’t work in the context it's given)” is... well, silly.

Not to mention that it just comes off as an excuse to slap them together for screen time. Let’s be real; how often do Marinette and Adrien hang out outside of class (when them being in the same class was coincidence) + being superheroes (which is also coincidence)? Okay, now add that in with how many times they’ve hung out because other people purposefully meddled and made it happen (”Kung Food”), or because one of them interacted with the other only for someone else (”Animan”/”Frozer”/technically “Gorizilla” as well since Adrien came upon Marinette by accident and only asked to hide out at her place because she happened to be who he found).

If people wonder why I ship Lukanette and Adrimi over the love square (I don’t mean to turn this into a ship-centric thing but it’s important to my argument), this is just one of the reasons why. They might’ve come together by coincidence (Marinette being on the Liberty for a music festival with circumstances leading up to her being chosen to find Luka and Adrien happening to be in the fencing class that Kagami joins), but when they meet and hang out together, it’s because they’re choosing to.

(look how HAPPY Adrien is in that right picture; JUST LOOK AT HIM)

(also, Luka is smooth as silk, as always; straight to the point and honest, which is what Marinette needs in her life)

And then you look at it from the love square’s side, because people can say however much they want how, “Well, the show isn’t over yet! They’re going to build a closer bond and fall for each other’s other side by the end!” but why hasn’t that happened yet?

From Episode 1, Adrienette is the lighter equivalent of Adrimi. Marinette and Adrien are in the same class, they’re supposedly friends, they have the most screen time out of everyone else, yet we’re three seasons in and for what?

Lukanette/Adrimi versus Adrienette is the difference between a connection being made and a connection being forced.

And if the argument is that they can’t be together actively because they’d “fall in love with each other too fast” and then the show wouldn’t have its romance subplot, that certainly isn’t working for LadyNoir.

The reason this comes back around to destiny and Adrien being “made for” Marinette is to point out the cruelty of saying that everything that happens to Marinette (either because or for Adrien) is just meant to be.

All the suffering she goes through in her pursuit of Adrien is meant to happen. She hasn’t gotten him yet, not because he’s the wrong guy, but because it’s “not time yet.” You guys all saw in “Chat Blanc” (where she’s canonically tried five hundred and sixty two times to get Adrien’s attention, by the way) that Lucky Charm gave her an eraser when she could’ve just told Adrien that the gift was from Marinette and Nathalie wouldn’t allow her to hand it over, but “destiny” said no, you have to go back and tell your friends that you couldn’t do it and also you get the knowledge of knowing that giving the guy you like a gift nearly caused the end of the world.

They’re meant to be and only when the show decides that they are. Marinette is kept far away enough from Adrien to where she can’t be actual friends with him, but close enough to where she can still pine and think he’s all that. If she chooses Adrien, it’s either going to be because destiny (like, learning he’s Chat and they’ll just magically get together) or because Luka will be taken out of the equation in some way (I’m going to burn a thousand bridges if they pull the “well, I like him, but I don’t LIIIIKE him, and that’s okay because you can’t force love,” thing). The idea that they’re going to get together because they’re “made for each other” is ridiculous when I’ve been shown no actual evidence of that and it boils down to the showrunners being like, “oh, they’re made for each other, but they can’t even be basic friends yet because we say so.”

They’re made for each other in the literal loosest sense of the word, in that the creators made them to get together in the end, and all the garbage Marinette has to go through is just “meant to happen” and “to forward her character.”

You know, because I fully expect a fourteen-year-old girl with a thousand responsibilities to find time to work on herself.