#so look out for that next maybe... probably written as a flashback or something idk

[crow-talks-hockey]

Do I Wanna Know? - an 829 fic from both Nate and Cale's POV (pt 2) [slowburn into established relationship]

Cale had been the first to see it happen. They’d been playing at home against the Knights when Nate had won a puck battle in their end. Nate had flung it out of their end and to Cale the world had become slow. He barely even registered whose number it was, all he saw was Nate crumpling to the ice as whoever it was crushed him into the boards. The sound of the whistles filled Cale’s ears and he noticed Landy was already skating, gloves dropped, towards the Knights player. Cale was at Nate’s side within moments, kneeling beside him and shielding him a bit from where the scrum was happening. “Nate you have to move,” Cale whispered urgently, the forward only groaned in response, “Nate.”

Cale shoved the scrum away from Nate completely, standing only momentarily to shove a couple Knights players out of the way. “Hey! Get the fuck back can't you see he's hurt?” barked Cale, and they skated away. 

Cale dropped back down beside Nate, calling for a medic. He shoved the spark of rage that ran through him away, fighting wasn’t going to help. He should stay beside Nate. “That dirty bastard,” Nate cursed through gritted teeth, his face contorted with pain.

The medic rushed up to Nate, who was trying to sit up a bit on his elbow. Cale gave him a tap on the back and listened carefully to the questions being asked as he stood up and skated back to give them room. Cale hadn’t even noticed the scrum was over, hell, he barely registered that this was a game at all. Every ounce of his focus and concern was on Nate. He felt Landy give him a reassuring bump. “He’ll be alright,” Landy said, his hair mussed from the fight, his lip bleeding a bit.

“I know… are you good?”

“Oh, yeah. I think he had it a lot worse,” Landy pointed out with a smug glance at the battered, shouting Knights player. Landy dipped his head his way, giving him a I-beat-you-bad-and-you-know-it look before facing Cale again.

Cale laughed despite the ache in his chest. “That’s good. We’re gonna kick his ass the rest of the night, right?”

“Definitely,” agreed Landy with a solemn nod and he began tapping his stick on the ice.

Nate was finally to his feet, helped by the medic. He scowled and leaned in on himself slightly and the Cale motioned for the medic to give Nate to him. Nate flung his arm across Cale’s shoulder with a huff and let his weight rest on him. Cale smiled a bit. “You gonna be alright?”

“Sure. It’s just a broken bone or so,” Nate replied sarcastically. “I hate that I’m going to miss more time because of some stupid injury again. You better drop your gloves with him for me. A real boyfriend would,” stated Nate with a pained smile.

Cale rolled his eyes. “You’re insufferable… I would, but I think he’s gonna get suspended for that. I can do you the favor of helping us win, is that good enough for you?”

Nate contemplated for a few moments, he leaned on the boards as they’d made it to the bench. Cale watched him with fond sadness. It hurt to see Nate get injured again. Players had a bad habit of targeting him like that. “Fine.”

Nate was led through the bench door and Cale followed. Nate leaned on the wall and motioned for the medic to step away and go ahead, insisting he could get back on his own. He grabbed Cale’s wrist and rubbed his thumb over it with a small smile. He grabbed his side with his other hand and Cale felt a pang of pity for him. “Thanks for keeping me away from the scrum, by the way.”

“Yeah, no problem, Nate. I’ll play like hell for you out there.”

Nate nodded, and said, “I know you will. I’ll see you at home.”

Cale watched as Nate made his way down the tunnel and murmured to himself, “Yeah, see you there…”

From then Cale’s attention was mostly on the game at hand. His mind was blessedly clear of worry for Nate, as he seemed pretty good. Nate was tough, and a fast healer. He’d be back on the ice before Cale knew it. It helped that they’d beaten Vegas, too. There’d been plenty of intensity, as Nate had gotten hit in the first period and that gave them plenty of time to stew on it. Cale had even hit a bit, and it’d taken a lot of his willpower to not drop his gloves in the blink of an eye. He’d leave that job to Landy;  who’d started another scrum and when Vegas had began one he’d been the one to finish it.

Cale had been happy to leave the eccentric Ball Arena, though. He didn’t bother hiding it, at this point the team had been well aware of him and Nate for months now— they were getting close to their one year anniversary, actually— and Cale had been the first to leave the locker room. He’d headed home immediately, eager to check up on Nate. He pulled into the driveway, finishing up one of the snacks that he carried in his car as he grabbed his water and made his way to the door, keys in hand. Cale quickly snagged a Biosteel from the fridge before coming into their living room where Nate was curled up on the couch. He was in sweats, wrapped up in a blanket, and shirtless with bandages around his chest. Tea sat steaming beside him and Cale felt warmth bloom in his chest. 

Nate was never like this around other people. This gift was reserved for Cale only, a sign that Nate trusted Cale and was comfortable around him. Here in this house, Nate was fully himself. All gruff, tired, and kind six feet of him. Cale appreciated it more than Nate knew. He took a seat beside the forward. “How are you?”

Nate shrugged. “I’m alright. Fractured a couple ribs, I should be back by the end of the month or the start of the next hopefully.”

Cale nodded and leaned softly on Nate’s shoulder. He winced a bit but didn’t ask Cale to move. Nate shifted around and relaxed comfortably after a few moments. He messed with Cale’s hair absently. Cale loved the quiet moments like this. Nate could be a loud and passionate person, but around Cale he didn’t need to be speaking to show that same passion. Here, Nate could show affection with silence. He knew Cale liked it, knew that for him silence sometimes spoke better than words ever could. Cale wasn’t a big talker, he was short and sweet in his words, and he was never the one to speak when he didn’t feel like saying anything. So Nate had never pushed Cale for anything, it was nice. Now, they lay in the quiet, tiredness seeping into Cale’s soul.

Nate was tickling Cale’s back slowly when he spoke again, “You should go to bed.”

“I haven’t finished my drink.”

“Yeah, you haven’t even touched it, though. I can put it in the fridge for you to have tomorrow. If that’s really the reason you aren’t going to bed, that is.”

“Noooo,” Cale murmured. “Not just that.”

Nate smiled with a knowing nod. “That’s what I thought. I won’t be far behind if that’s what you’re asking. We can cuddle there.”

Cale didn’t move. “You’re such a liar, you’d never wake me back up,” he said into Nate’s warm skin, clinging to Nate’s blanket even tighter when Nate attempted to get Cale to move.

“How many minutes did you even play?”

Cale sighed, rolling his eyes. The unavoidable question in situations like this had finally come up. He sat up grumpily. “About thirty.”

Nate gave him a victorious and prideful look and he pointed out, “Exactly.”

Cale stood and crossed his arms. “If I’m going to bed, so are you.”

“Of course,” Nate agreed, even though they both know that Cale would immediately black out and Nate would be up well into the night on his phone. It was the banter they went through every night. Nate would fight to stay in the living room, Cale would fight to bring him to their room so he could fall asleep in Nate’s hold. So far, Cale hadn’t lost once.

So Nate stood, throwing off his blanket and kissing Cale’s forehead gently. He went ahead into the kitchen, Cale’s untouched Biosteel in hand just as he’d promised. God, Cale loved that man. He fell to sleep almost immediately, warm and comfortable as Nate played with his hair. Life was quiet. Life was good.

~~~

Nate hadn’t known what to do without Cale around. He couldn’t skate or be active, not with his ribs in the condition they were in. So, Nate had been awfully bored. Day in and day out he spent waiting for Cale to come home from practice. He spent time playing games on his console, scrolling lazily through Twitter, but all of the things he distracted himself with got boring. The only routine he had was physical therapy, but even that was monotonous. He’d done this many times before, but it was a lot worse now that he was used to being around Cale a lot. He hated the days when he knew Cale wouldn’t be home because they were on the road. He hated watching games, not playing in them. He missed the ice.

Cale had been steadfast as ever through it all. It was calming, having him so confident and collected. When Nate was scatterbrained and searching for things to do, Cale made the logical calls. If Nate was bored, Cale would easily point out the most obvious options like cleaning something, going for a walk, or even cooking— which Nate was notoriously terrible at. When Nate had objected to cooking, Cale had simply said it took practice and Nate had been unable to argue back. Cale was like that, so brutally and perfectly honest that he was left with no lingering thoughts or questions.

Nate had become infinitely clingier, too. He wanted to be around Cale for as long as he could when Cale was home, following him around constantly. Cale didn’t seem to mind, he never had. Maybe he liked it, being sought after so much. It wasn’t arrogant, but Nate knew that Cale liked being appreciated like that. And that wasn’t even mentioning how much more… intense Nate was getting. It was similar to when Cale and Nate had been secretive. When Nate couldn’t express himself completely and fully twenty-four-seven, it led to overflow at home. It was a good overflow, though. Cale might try to hide it, but Nate knew him well enough to understand that Cale was feeling the same way, too. Touches were more frequent and long, kisses were more passionate, every word became laced with longing. 

Cale had finally gotten a day off after a road trip one night, and the two were able to have time together for the first time in over a week. Nate had honestly been surprised when he’d come heavily down the stairs only to find Cale at their dining room table, eating a bagel with cream cheese on it and sipping occasionally on his coffee. He’d looked up casually, smiling as he took in Nate whose hair was mussed out of control, blanket flung lazily around his shoulders, eyes squinted from the morning light. “Hey,” greeted Cale.

Nate blinked slowly, peering at Cale skeptically. Was he missing something, or was he just bone dead tired? He pointed towards Cale absently. “You… have the day off?” he drawled tiredly.

“Yeah,” began Cale as he stretched back in his seat and yawned. “Jared said I could take a day with no practice, to help regenerate some of my strength from the road trip. I’d have been stupid to miss out on my chance to be around you. I’ve missed you.”

Nate’s expression crumpled into pure, tired joy, his cheeks warming slightly. Cale watched him, eyes glinting with affection. Nate waddled over and took a seat beside Cale, reaching forward to rest his hand along Cale’s peach-fuzz jawline. He watched him for a few moments before leaning in and giving Cale a I-missed-you-too kiss. Cale practically melted into it, and Nate felt him relax comfortably. Nate wouldn’t describe this as aggressive, just… longing. Cale had been away too long. Cale gently pushed him away. “Breakfast is on the counter, one of those liquid IVs, too.”

Nate grinned and ditched his blanket, snagging his food and returning to the table. Nate felt a stab of appreciation as he noticed Cale had made his favorite kind of omelet. He mixed the liquid IV a bit more before taking a long drink of it and setting it down again. Cale’s hand strayed to his, and Nate was quick to interlock his fingers with Cale’s. Nate closed his eyes with a smile, the silence for once comfortable. Cale stood after a few minutes and took his plate into the kitchen, putting it in the dishwasher as he asked, “What do you want to do today? I’d offer to take you to skate, but, we all know how that would go. Is there anything you were thinking about doing?”

Nate shrugged. “I wasn’t expecting you to be home, so, I don’t know. I could ask Shawn if he thinks I’m about ready to skate again, if you wanted.”

“Do you think you’re ready for that?” Cale asked plainly.

Nate stared at him, unimpressed. “Of course I think I’m ready. I always do, and then I ask him and he tells me no. Believe me, I’ve tried.”

Cale strode back to Nate, bending over to rest his arms across Nate’s chest as he laid his face gently into Nate’s hair. Nate grabbed one of Cale’s hands and traced along his knuckles faintly. “You could try asking again,” whispered Cale. “Only if you think you’re really ready, though. Don’t do this just because you’re trying to impress me, we can find something else to do if you aren’t up for it.”

Nate rolled back his shoulders contemplatively, testing how his ribs felt as they flexed and moved. There was a dull stab of pain, but nothing really major. He tilted his head to the side in thought and Cale stepped away, taking his seat beside Nate again. He pulled out his phone and quickly texted Shawn. Luckily for them, he was a quick responder. Nate grinned and faced Cale, eyes glistening with childish excitement. Should he feel this good about it? Probably not, but still he jumped to his feet and snatched his keys off of the counter. “Let’s go,” he beckoned.

Nate grabbed Cale by his arm and heaved him up. Cale was smiling faintly, speculatively. He raised a brow and gave him a knowing look. Nate looked around wildly. “What?”

“Do you think you might be missing something?”

Nate paused. Oh… yeah,  he realized, shirt. Shoes. Hoodie… He should probably get ready first. Nate smiled a bit sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. He hesitated. “It’d make the skate all the more interesting if I just went like this…”

Cale gave him a swift, light punch to his bicep before pulling him forward and giving him a short kiss. “We could at least try to be civil. Now go get a shirt on, I’ll be in the car.”

Nate shook his head but made his way upstairs anyway. Cale got what he wanted. Nate shuffled through his closet, throwing on a plain tee before putting on his socks and shoes. Cale was in the passenger seat when he got in the car and Nate laughed. “Can’t believe you’re making the injured man drive,” he sighed as he turned the keys in the ignition. “Unbelievable, Cale. And to think I thought you loved me.”

“Oh shut up, your legs aren’t broken,” Cale retorted as he clicked in his seatbelt and stared out the window. 

Nate loved this side of Cale. The quirky, lighthearted side of him that made him crack sarcastic jokes that he finally didn’t feel guilty about. After some time, the rest of the team had gotten to know this, but Nate had been one of the first to stop brushing Cale off as just as awkward and quiet as he seemed. Cale was intense in his own way, like the deep cold of icy waters compared to the forest-fire heat Nate had. Cale was also expressive in his own way. He was subtle, yet effective. It had taken Nate all too long to figure that out. Part of him was still jealous at how easily someone like Gabe could pick people apart, but maybe that came with being captain for so long. 

Nate blinked, snapped from his thoughts by the abrupt cutting of the car’s engine. He’d barely even noticed that he’d been driving (which was probably not the best thing in hindsight). He mechanically took his keys out of the ignition and got out of the car, hand resting on the door as he hesitated closing it. Cale watched him from over the roof, eyes squinted in the sun, head tilted at a curious angle. “You alright, Nate?”

Nate closed the door, and walked up beside Cale. He ran his hand through his hair absently and shrugged off the Denver chill. He nodded, lips pursed. “Yeah. Just thinking.”

Cale took Nate’s hand in his own and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Nate smiled faintly. Cale’s cheeks were already pinked with the cold, but Nate didn’t fail to notice how much deeper they got as Nate interlocked their fingers together. He playfully bumped Cale away and the defenseman returned the favor with a laugh. Nate sped up slightly, jogging ahead to open the door to Ball Arena for Cale. Nate bowed jokingly and Cale shook his head. “You’re a dork,” he said as he came through the door.

“Yeah, but I’m your dork,” Nate retorted, not bothering to appear falsely offended like usual. They were alone here, after all.

Cale threw back his head in laughter and they made their way to the locker room to put on their skates. After a few minutes Nate was going through the tunnel, ready to set foot on the ice for the first time in three weeks. Shawn was standing there patiently, he looked up from his phone, visibly noting that Cale was there. “Do you want me out there with you?”

Nate looked towards Cale with a smile. “No. You’re good.”

“Alright,” Shawn replied and patted Nate’s shoulder, “take it easy. If you feel like you need to stop, do it. Go slow.”

Nate nodded and watched him go. Cale went ahead of him and Nate closed his eyes with a grin as he heard skates cutting through the ice. He’d almost forgotten how much he’d loved those noises. He stepped forward, slow to get his stand on the ice. It felt surprisingly good. Cale was watching him closely. Nate dug in his heels and strided forward, the confidence he had on skates so stark in comparison to walking. God, he’d missed this. Cale smiled brightly as Nate skated closer and pulled him in for an embrace. Nate clung to the fabric of Cale’s hoodie and breathed in the fresh, clean smell of it.  He felt Cale’s hand  at the back of his neck, his fingers brushing through the short, brindle hairs. The boards rattled a bit as Cale hit them, Nate had been unaware that they were even skating back.

Nate pulled away a bit, he could hear Cale breathing. His cheeks were deep pink, and Nate was so close he could see the specks of hazel in his blue eyes. The rink was quiet, it was just them. Here in this moment, together. “How do you feel?” Cale asked, precautionary.

“Great,” Nate breathed, “... perfect, actually.”

 “Then let’s do what we came here for; skate.”

So they did, and after a few long minutes of getting his body used to it, Nate was skating almost like normal. Nate felt light with relief. He’d longed for the ice ever since he got injured, and he was finally back. Well, in some way. He kept a steady pace for the better part of an hour, but he could feel his body tiring. Nate shoved the dull sting in his ribs away, and Cale didn’t seem to notice. Not until he’d seen Nate wincing as he skated to where their water was. 

“Nate,” Cale had begun firmly.

Nate took a drink, leaning into himself a bit. He looked at Cale with his most reassuring smile, but the defenseman was unimpressed to say the least. Nate jumped up and sat on the edge of the boards where the bench was. Cale was eyeing him intently, silently imploring him to say the words Nate hated to say. They stayed in silence for another few tense moments, but eventually Nate finally gave in. Nate sighed, Cale got what Cale wanted. Maybe he should be more stubborn. “Let’s stop,” he admitted. Cale remained loss-less.

Cale nodded and uncrossed his arms. For a moment, Nate felt like a kid again, being scolded for staying out on the ice too late and missing dinner. A wave of nostalgia hit him; all the memories of the dock and the rusty net at home that were long since in need of replacement. Of buying posters of Sid and of the pride he felt over sharing the same hometown as his idol. Of begging his dad to go out and use the hose to renew the ice just so he could keep skating. He’d come so far, but standing here, skating for the first time in weeks, Nate couldn’t help but feel like that little kid again. The one who’d only wanted to live up to what his idol had been, and the one who’d always felt like it’d never happen. Hell, he still felt that way and somehow, despite everything, Nate couldn’t seem to shake it off and maybe he never would. 

Maybe Nate was too harsh on himself. Too self-critical to see how far he’d really come. Nate might be competitive and aggressive on the ice, but he didn’t want to boast. Because to him, every step was not far enough, every mile too short. That’s seemingly how it’d been. People loved to put him on this pedestal, but could they really mean it when they said he was better than someone like McDavid? When they sang his praises, did they all really believe he was as great as Ovi, or as stellar as Sid had always been and still was? Of course not. 

Yet, there was still time, wasn’t there? Sid had come into the league red hot, a shining first pick like Nate that was burdened with expectations. How could Nate sit here and say he wasn’t good enough when Sid had taught him better? He couldn’t. Especially not when he was here, right now, loved and accepted for who he was. Cale had shown him that even better than Sid ever had. Between late-night embraces, early morning omelets, and afternoons spent simply existing together, Nate knew that his own expectations for himself didn’t mean anything. He had Cale, and Cale believed that Nate was perfect just the way he was. That was enough. Cale, honest and compassionate, was enough. Nate himself was enough.

[ladyfromaspookyforest]

Stranger Things & The Fly

I was looking at the ST4 DNA board, which I haven't personally spent time closely examining, and I saw The Fly on there. I'm assuming they meant the 1986 version and not the 1958 one because...you know...the 80s. So my immediate thought was "oh. NINA."

But I decided to do a rewatch of The Fly to see what else paralleled, and it isn't just the NINA elements. Rather, there are two separate parts of the Stranger Things 4 story that echo The Fly. Someone has probably already talked about this, but I'm crap at searching for things, so I couldn't find it. SO I'LL TALK ABOUT IT ANYWAY. This will contain spoilers for The Fly (1986).

The purpose of the pods in The Fly is teleportation via disintegration. You put something in one pod, it disintegrates, then reassembles itself in the other pod. Sounds familiar, you say?

This is the second storyline I'll be talking about.

In The Fly, our scientist protagonist, Seth Brundle, has figured out how to teleport inanimate objects, but when he tries to teleport anything living, it goes wrong. I was going to post a screenshot of him attempting to teleport a baboon, but it's maybe too icky for tumblr? Basically, in Seth's own words, "It turned the baboon inside out." Hmm. Reminds me of...upside down? Seth says "Something was lost in translation." So when the baboon was transported by disintegrating and reassembling, it didn't come back right. This is because he says "Computers are dumb. They only know what you tell them." So he teaches the computers to understand flesh (yeah, idk how he did that either). And the next baboon lives! Huzzah!

What does that mean? Maybe that 001's transportation to this other world (which may or may not be the Upside Down...could even be, dare I say, the Inside Out?), something went wrong. We see how mutilated he became and while he lived and Baboon #1 did not, he still ends up looking like a grody sack of meat, just like Baboon #1. Seth apologizes to Baboon #2 about killing his brother in an aside, but the brother comment is interesting. Perhaps meaningless. But with all the weirdness surrounding Henry that we still don't have answers to (like who tf is Edward Creel?) and the time wonkiness we can expect from season 5, it seems possible that there's a different version of Henry (or Edward) that DIDN'T come out as a grody sack of meat.

After the baboon success, Seth decides to teleport himself (dumbass) and it's VERY IMPORTANT that there is nothing else in the pods or else the molecules could reassemble wrong. And a fly gets into the pod with him, causing his DNA to merge with the fly's DNA when he comes out the other pod. Which brings me back to the NINA Project.

The purpose of the NINA project is to do exactly what the pods do accidentally. The NINA project is intended to influence the person in the pod by putting them in there with an external source. So like Seth's DNA changes with the presence of the fly (accidentally), El's memory changes with the presence of the video tapes.

The fact that Seth comes out wrong could indicate that El does too. The video tapes could, in fact, be influencing her to remember events incorrectly rather than truly giving back her genuine memories of events. There are other people on here who have written some really incredible, comprehensive posts compiling evidence of all the discrepancies between what we see in flashbacks and throughout NINA, so I'm not going to try. But at the end of the day, we still don't know why. Evidence seems to support that Vecna is a different version of Henry/Edward than the one El is being told to remember in NINA, and what she's seeing may in fact be a combination of what she's being told to and what she truly experienced. If you were to look at this through the lens of The Fly, El and the videotapes being in a pod together would make sense as a merging of two things rather than as a recovery of her own memories. (How relevant The Fly is, who's to say, it's all speculation for fun)

Of course, Seth comes out monstrous and El does not (*cough* probably). This brings Seth back to paralleling Vecna, as his disintegration and reconstruction in a horrific way alters not just his appearance, but who he is fundamentally. I imagine something similar happened to turn 001 into Vecna.

There's a super weird quote in the movie after Seth merges with the fly but before he realizes what's happened. He's trying to get his love interest to go through the pods and she refuses.

"You're afraid to dive into the plasma pool, aren't you? You're afraid to be destroyed and recreated, aren't you? ...You can't penetrate beyond society's sick grey fear of the flesh. Drink deep or taste not the plasma spring...I'm talking about penetration beyond the veil of the flesh, a deep penetrating dive into the plasma pool." So...WTF amirite? It's sort of a bunch of raving nonsense, but there are key words and phrases in there that really stick out to me. Being destroyed and recreated. The multiple references to the pool. (There is no pool in The Fly. This is a metaphor but there IS one in Stranger Things) The veil beyond the flesh, which could be the veil of...shadows? And of course, it's all about fear.

Brenner tells El "If you go too fast, I'm afraid you could become lost in the darkness. And if you are lost, so are we all." As evidenced by The Fly, going too fast very much did get Seth lost in the darkness. Brenner was even at least partially right about El. He tells her she isn't ready but she leaves anyway and she doesn't save the day. The apocalypse comes to Hawkins. (And Max is lost in the darkness)

I think the clearest parallels with this movie are the pods and the disintegration method of travel. Everything else is me blabbing. But after this rewatch, I am intrigued by the idea of the other Henry/Edward being the "successful" version of a teleportation.

Here are a couple of other quotes I found interesting that I'll just be leaving here for funzies:

"The sheer process of being taken apart atom by atom and put back together again...why, it's like coffee being put through a filter."

"Human teleportation, molecular decimation, breakdown and reformation, is inherently purging. It makes a man a king."

[sapphire-weapon]

maybe it's just me, but I feel like capcom feels like they wrote themselves into a corner with both aeon and ada since re6. like you said before, aeon is a conflict ship, and since re6 so much of that conflict has been brought down. if capcom cared about ending romances, the next leon and ada involved game or movie would probably be the place they would end it one way or another at least narratively logically speaking, so that's probably I think why we haven't gotten those two together in a game or movie since then besides the remakes. and as far as ada goes, I think they've written themselves in a corner with her in the original timeline because they can't put her in a game by herself without leon it seems without the majority of fans not being interested in it (her solo in umbrella chronicles). at least they haven't taken that chance with her character since then. so I'm hoping now that they're making a new timeline with the remakes and being more ballsy, they'll actually do something solo with ada and give her a bigger characterization. or at least let some of us in the writing room and we'll do it for them 😂

I would tend to agree with this for the most part. I don't think that it's impossible now to repurpose Ada's character and break her away from just Leon's story arc, but it's kind of at a point where, like... Dude, she's gonna be pushing 50 by the time RE9 hits.

And I think

-- and it's with a gigantic sigh that I say this, but --

I think the real reason why Ada hasn't come back is because Capcom is afraid to show her as being middle-aged -- that if she's "too old-looking" fans won't like her anymore. She was 38 in RE6, and that's probably about as far as they're going to go. Maybe -- maybe they'll be willing to show early 40s Ada if they think they can get away with it, but that is pushing it. And so, for that reason, I don't think we're ever going to see her in the modern storyline.

And that sucks. It's sexist and it's stupid and it sucks and I hate it, but a major part of Ada's character is, unfortunately, her sex appeal, and men are small-brained little creatures who think that women lose said sex appeal at 40 unless they go full MILF (or just stop aging entirely like Jill).

So I think Capcom is at a loss mostly because they probably feel like the end of Ada's story should be in a major-release title, but... RE8 is in 2020, and they're not going to pull a Devil May Cry and go backwards in the timeline for a numbered game. I just don't see that happening. So now they're kind of stuck because... time has passed and Ada has aged, and that's just the reality of things.

So... like... idk man. idk what they're gonna do. Because the sexist double-standard is real and there's 80% of the fandom just dying to see modern-day 46-year-old Leon so that they can call him Daddy and continue to treat him like the whore he is, so it's in Capcom's best interest from a business perspective to keep him around, so...

Honestly, the end of Ada's story and the end of Aeon may very well be a flashback or even just a file to be found in a game.

And I honestly don't know how I feel about that.

Because if they're going to keep Leon around but cut Ada out of the story... they might have to kill her. And I don't want that. I really don't want that to happen. And even if they don't kill her, like... she still deserves a better send-off than "something something it vaguely happened off-screen something something."

But Aeon as a ship was never tenable in the long-run, and RE6 set the groundwork for that pretty heavy-handedly in some of the files. So, do we really need another numbered title dedicated to this melodrama? I would say no. But, at the same time, is it right to put the conclusion of this story in a, say, Revelations 3? Or a CGI movie? ... Also no, probably.

It's just shitty. It's just fucking shitty and some fucker at Capcom needs to grow some fucking balls and give me 50-year-old Ada before I fly to Japan and start egging cars in the Capcom parking lot.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 320: Deku vs. Class 1-A

Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Kacchan was all “fuck Deku and fuck his stupid goodbye letters, I need to speak to somebody in charge.” Endeavor was all “hello, I am Somebody In Charge.” Kacchan was all “listen up asshole, you need to let us go out and collect our wayward nerd because you stupidly left him alone with All Might and that’s a fast track to disaster right there.” Endeavor was all, “[self-incriminating silence].” Rat Principal was all, “okay sure, have fun kids.” Back in the present, class 1-A was all “hi Deku” and Deku was all “I’M FINE!!!!!” and Kacchan was all “THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D SAY YOU DUMB FUCKING NERD” and so the kids all got ready to fight, because OF COURSE they’re gonna fight. Sorry guys, but yeah it’s happening.

Today on BnHA: Kacchan is all “what’s up Deku you look like a possessed Rorschach test, so anyway how are the new quirks coming along.” Deku is all “they’re coming along like THIS” and uses Smokescreen to try and get away. Kacchan is all “PHASE ONE COMMENCE”, and Kouda, Sero, Jirou, and Ojiro leap into the fray to shower Deku with heaps of love and violence, because this is a shounen manga and kicking someone’s ass while simultaneously proclaiming your undying admiration for them is just how it’s done in these parts. The KoudaSeroOJirou squad then passes the baton to Satou, Momo, Tokoyami, Kaminari, and Shouji, who are all “fuck this mask” and do a bunch of stuff to tear Deku’s mask off because they’re the real heroes. Shouto is all “LOOK AT THE LITTLE CRYBABY, THAT’S RIGHT, GO AHEAD AND FUCKING CRY and by the way let us share your burden please,” and once again I swear this is all very deeply moving and touching within the actual context. The chapter ends with Tsuyu being all “look at me. I’m the cliffhanger now,” and damn.

lol what

I don’t think anyone was expecting that. I mean, not that I’ve got anything against Tsuyu or anything. anyways it’s a very nice cover and I love the colors and I hope this means Tsuyu’s gonna do something badass

also, “Deku vs Class A” -- pretty much the expected title, but it’s still got me hyped nonetheless fuck yeah let’s go

IIDA ANGST

Iida Tenya really said “fuck the uniform code, we’re leaving the helmet at home today.” sorry kids, prim and proper C-3PO Comic Relief Iida has left the building. can I interest you in some Serious Iida

meanwhile Kacchan is all “sup Deku, I heard you got a few more quirks, and might I just add that you look like the Snyder Cut of Detective Pikachu”

“you look like a tarred and feathered squid” okay easy there Kacchan. I mean it’s all true of course, but still

“thank you all for coming” OH EXCUSE ME SON, WERE YOU PLANNING ON GOING SOMEWHERE. LET’S JUST SEE HOW THAT PLAYS OUT

yep and there’s Smokescreen, right on cue

okay Horikoshi, I leave it in your hands. hopefully you can come up with some more interesting combos than my dumbass predictions lol

LOL THIS ISN’T A COMBO AT ALL

“explosions solve everything” -- Horikoshi Kouhei, 2021. something something shockwave, something something handwave ta-da no more smoke. lol okay then

oh, ouch

he would know, wouldn’t he. nice application of one of your many hard-earned life lessons, Kacchan

by the way you guys, just as an experiment, I’m going to try to anticipate some of the discourse this week in the hopes of preemptively addressing it and thus saving myself some time later on lol. so here’s our first test run!

ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “oh my god what a fucking hypocrite can you believe this fucking guy”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: it’s precisely because Kacchan has been in this exact situation himself that he’s able to recognize his past self in Deku now and call him out on it. just because it took him sixteen years to get it through his head that he can’t accomplish every single thing completely by himself doesn’t mean Deku has to go down that same path. so yeah, maybe it is a bit hypocritical, but if you insist that the only people qualified to call out stupid shit are people who have never done a single stupid thing in their own lives, then what you’re basically saying is that absolutely no one on earth is qualified lol. so yeah, I’d have to disagree

and one last unrelated note, I’m willing to bet the whole “you didn’t even say a word before you ran off” thing is possibly the first thing Kacchan’s said in this whole encounter that actually does stem from genuine hurt rather than his tough-love-harsh-truths strategy. I’M TAKING NOTES HERE HORIKOSHI. at this rate it’ll take twice as many chapters as DvK2 for them to hash out all the stuff between them, geez

anyway so I gotta say, so far Deku vs. Class A is looking an awful lot like a DvK3 wearing a hat, trenchcoat, and sunglasses lol

OH SHIT I TAKE IT BACK??

FUCK YEAH, YOU GO KOUDA. and I guess he ditched his mask as well! excellent

so far the strategy here seems to be “Kacchan says all the mean tough love shit while the rest of 1-A balances it out with warmth and kindness”, which actually works pretty well imo. Deku is one of those people that doesn’t usually need a Kacchan Translator anyway, but just in case, this is very efficient

mm but of course Deku is slingshotting himself away with Blackwhip. all right then, who’s up next!

FUCK YEAH

okay but seriously you guys, what is going on with Sero’s face in these last couple of chapters though, it’s really starting to unnerve me. is he trying to emulate Kacchan’s whole asymmetrical facial expressions thing?

in fact let me just quickly hit pause here because,

ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “SERO IS TOGA??!”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: no

oh snap looks like Jirou’s getting in on the action too!

poor Jirou probably spent days racking her brain trying to think of something she could bond with Deku over. is Horikoshi doing these in reverse order of the kids who have had the most interaction with him? that would explain why poor Kouda didn’t get a flashback lol

omg. well that answers that

so by my count, Satou and Hagakure are the only ones remaining in this first tier of kids who Still Appreciate Midoriya even though they’ve barely ever spoken two words to him in their lives lol. so they’ll probably be next, and then we’ll get to the next tier of kids who are pretty good friends with him but not quite besties. and then we’ll move on to the IidaRokiRaka trio, and then lastly, to the boy who is in a tier all his own

BUT FIRST, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

and by “sponsor” I mean the Dekuangst. just in case that wasn’t clear. indeed, many thanks to the Dekuangst for making this all possible

(ETA: okay so this whole “take me away” line seemed pretty weird to me, and sure enough it’s yet another one of those cases where only the verb is specified, and the object is left to the reader’s interpretation. so even though the translation says “take me away”, I’m pretty sure that what Deku’s actually saying is “take you away” -- as in, his loved ones will be taken away by AFO.

and that is literally the way he phrases it, though -- the verb used is “奪う” (ubau), meaning “to snatch away; to dispossess; to steal.” which, god, that hurts my whole goddamn heart though, because for him to say it like that?? not “AFO will kill you”, but “AFO will take you away from me.” he can’t have nice things anymore because of AFO. he can’t be around the people he loves because AFO will hurt them. he can’t have happiness because AFO will take it away from him. anyway so where the fuck is AFO right now, motherfucker I just want to talk.)

by the way can Ojiro just extend his tail to whatever fucking length he wants or what because it’s like twelve feet long in this panel lol

WOOO FUCK YEAH TOKOYAMI

YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!! BUT WHERE’S YOUR FLASHBACK? YOU’VE HAD A BUNCH OF INTERACTIONS WITH HIM, THAT’S NOT FAIR

okay so now Satou’s stepping in which is back to my anticipated order, so maybe Toko will finish his little moment afterward

dskfjfkk

“REMEMBER THAT TIME DEKU BORROWED SATOU’S FOOD COLORING” Horikoshi says, sweating. “AND REMEMBER THAT TIME HE, UM, SMILED IN HAGAKURE’S GENERAL DIRECTION”

actually I am curious about what Hagakure’s part will be because, you know, the whole traitor thing lol

(ETA: funny how we just skipped right over it huh. can we get a traitor reveal countdown started here? definitely getting close to that time.)

whoa lol wtf

MOMO??? THIS HAS MOMO WRITTEN ALL OVER IT DAMMIT

-- SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK

“SORRY MIDORIYA-SAN, I LEFT MY FUCKING CHILL AT HOME IN THE LOCKER NEXT TO IIDA’S HELMET” holy shit lmao

and here I thought she’d get a flashback to her time on the Baku Rescue Squad or something. but nope, no flashbacks from Momo, only terrifying sci-fi torture devices

poor Dark Shadow is such a trooper omg

“why am I the only one who has to make prolonged contact with his smelly disgusting self” taking one for the team there DS

FUCK YEAH KAMINARI NO JUTSU

THE PRICKLY BASTARD WHISPERER STRIKES AGAIN!! don’t suppose you brought any clean clothes you could sneakily force him into huh Kami

okay here we go, so now Shouji and Tokoyami are joining forces

um excuse me this is fucking awesome

wonder how he’ll break free? don’t think he’ll reveal Fa Jin until the end of the chapter, so maybe Air Force or something? idk

TOKO GETS AN EXTENDED MOMENT BECAUSE HE IS A TIER TWO PATREON REWARD LEVEL FRIEND YAY

WHY IS MOMO MAKING THIS FACE LOL YOUR THING WAS WAY WORSE

and Shouji just casually hitting him with what is easily the best comment from anyone yet. too bad Deku’s just gonna ignore it. you deserve better Shouji

KAMINARI OMFG

it only just occurred to me that Kami is currently trapped inside Dark Shadow right along with him lmao omg. realest one in the entirety of BnHA, right here. we will never forget your sacrifice

aaaaaaand Deku’s yeeting himself

do you really hate the thought of taking a bath that much my dude

oh shit the mask!!

-- oh shit the feels

o(TヘTo)

fuck. and I mean, we knew he was crying, that was a done deal. but still, to see him in this much pain is just...

and the acknowledgement that he knows they’re worried about him, but that it doesn’t change his mind one bit. this, right here, is why they have to be a bit harsh with him, you guys. because they’re up against the full, unbridled stubbornness of Midoriya fucking Izuku, and if they don’t match that stubbornness with an equal stubbornness of their own, they basically don’t stand a chance

(ETA: quick note that there is apparently another mistranslation here -- rather than saying that his friends are oblivious to the danger, what Deku is actually saying is that none of his friends have activated his Danger Sense once throughout this entire fight. which I had been wondering about, and it turns out Horikoshi actually confirmed it. so basically none of the kids bears any ill intent toward him, and there’s literal proof right there.

incidentally, as @class1akids​ pointed out, this also casts an interesting light on this chapter in terms of who hasn’t fought Deku yet. not to play the Hagakure Traitor Music for the billionth time you guys, but I’M JUST SAYING lol.)

anyway, but the good news is that they all seem to understand that. and the even better news is that we have reached the tier 3 friends!!

“OR ELSE” lol, great to see Shouto wielding his friendship just as aggressively as Deku once did towards him. I do love a good role reversal

p.s., ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “why is Shouto being so cruel to Deku can’t he see how hard this is on him”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: this is a callback to the classic “even heroes cry when they have to” Shouto line from chapter 137. Shouto is clearly following Kacchan’s lead here and going for the more ruthless approach, knowing that the gentle approach isn’t getting through to him (if anything it’s only making him more stubborn as we saw on the previous page). basically it’s his way of pointing out that even heroes are still only human, and so is Deku last time he checked

ah okay, and there Tsuyu is at last

okay real talk, I get why Tsuyu is included in the tier 3 friends, because she was one of the first people to team up with Deku going all the way back to USJ. but that said, this probably would have had more impact if their most recent interaction hadn’t been like 150 chapters ago

but anyway though it’s still a good speech. maybe not quite a cliffhanger-level speech, but a good speech nonetheless. in a way though, I’m glad to see that Horikoshi seemingly didn’t give a fuck whether he ended this on an actual cliffhanger or not for once

and that “headed toward the climax” part has me excited too, ngl. because if we really are getting to the so-called climax this soon, that makes me even more certain that there is indeed a DvK3 in the forecast. so I presume that next week (or I guess two weeks from now) will be the tier 3s along with the remaining tier 2s like Kirishima and Aoyama

and then after that, well... [orange and green banners being hoisted] [sound of screeching airhorns and vuvuzelas in the distance] [sound of All Might approaching in his car which I didn’t notice until I looked back at this page a second time whoops] THE PROPHECY WILL NOT BE DENIED

[bthump]

So, if you finished collecting your thoughts, what is your theory (-ies?) about how things will be going from here on out (post-ch.364)

Thanks for asking!

This might of course all be moot by now without Miura, but I do still think the behelit was gonna open, probably in the next chapter.

Danann's little expositionary mention of ~someone's~ fate bringing the moonbaby to the island reinforced that again for me. Plus the flashback to Skull Knight losing his shit during a godhand summoning could also be big foreshadowing for it.

And hell I'm even getting half-convinced that the fairy chick in that flashback was deliberately reminiscent of Griff for an actual reason even beyond Miura being self-indulgent, and maybe that reason really is more parallels/foreshadowing. Can't you just picture the same image but with armoured Guts holding Griffith in total emotional confusion?

Like I keep saying, Griffith could get sacrificed with moonbaby, and that possible parallel sure is a straw I want to grasp. Not Griffith dying of course, but maybe weakened, disadvantaged, injured, unconscious? Or maybe a similar image but with Berserker Guts' hands around his throat or something.

And of course I still say that the only possible payoff that could even begin to make up for how awful Casca's magic ooc cardboard-cutout pasted on motherly thing was is if it's just half-assed set up to show that the kid is a viable sacrifice.

Because let’s be real, if the montage in this chapter was intended to establish a bond between Casca and the kid that the readers can get emotionally invested enough in to engage with, say, a new arc in which saving the kid or something is Casca’s new motivation, then... oof. Like I’m sure there are plenty of Berserk readers out there that don’t need or want more characterization than cardboard cut-out motherhood lol, but we know Miura was capable of more. Every single other parent or guardian/child relationship written in the story has more depth and emotion and relevant characterization in it than this one, even like 2 panel wonders like Guts and Shizu.

Plus, yk, Casca realizing that she's the kid's actual mother before immediately frantically rushing out and watching it transform into Griffith has got to be a pretty damn good emotional shock worth opening a behelit for, c'mon. You can't try to address this weird werebaby rapist shit with a conversation or an angry tirade, this requires a whole nother level of response and monster transformation is right there.

Idk about Danann at this point though. There hasn't really been any hinting about sinister ulterior motives with her as far as I can tell, but on the other hand she's so fucking bland lol so if she really is just what you see is what you get then yawn. Nothing has contradicted my theory that she's in cahoots with Skull Knight waiting for the behelit to open on her island, but nothing has leaned in that direction recently either really, so yeah. I'm still gunning for that but idk.

Either way though I think that's what Skull Knight's here for.

After that, though, I don’t know. I always imagined Guts going beast of darkness and escaping/being sent from the island to find NGriff, but now that NGriff’s here and getting teary idk if that’s still what I’m feeling. I guess NGriff could still take off after whatever goes down with the sacrifice goes down, leaving Guts to hunt him down again, but I do think it nudges the door further open for a bigger shift and more possibilities.

NGriff suddenly and unexpectedly appearing in Elfhelm, surrounded by magical enemies who have the ability to stand against him, naked, demonstrating feelings in front of his ex... it’s a neat starting point for him lol, I’d love to see where that could’ve gone. Breaking point, or more denial first? How was Guts going to react to that? Because let’s be real if anything could stop Guts in his tracks it’s NGriff looking at him and crying. Maybe Guts would’ve gone beast of darkness just long enough to actually do something terrible, like kill the mermaid and a few others, before coming back again through more magic (or maybe even NGriff, c’mon I want that Devilman Amon spinoff story but griffguts so bad) and there wouldn’t be a chasing NGriff down narrative.

Maybe Casca would be tasked with eating her own sacrifice as the Count seemingly did in his flashback and as maybe all apostles do, and Guts would stand against her. Sadly this wouldn’t get rid of werebaby but seeing that might be worth it anyway.

Maybe Skull Knight shows up to crash the party as he seems to have intended to do when the behelit opens and here we get exposition that reveals a new enemy (Void or Elfhelm?) who Guts and Griffith can team up against.

I’m basically just throwing out fic ideas now lol, but hey at this point maybe that’s all we got, so why not?

[seventeensarmy]

(2) Stuck With You (OT7!Hybrid Au)

Pairing: OT7xReader, Jungkook x Reader, rest will come in the course of the story

Warnings: a tiny bit angst in like the flashbacks, but also combined with fluff, bad written smut , oral (m. receiving), dirty talk, unprotected sex (reader is on pill, but i didn´t write that. Also don´t do unprotected sex!), spanking, dom/sub dynamics, that i described idk.. maybe a bit to obvious.

Words: 3.670

Summary: Planning to train the whole day doesn´t sit well with Jungkook, especially if he gets easily distracted. (Not gonna lie, this is kind of a filler chapter, because I wanted to give a bit more detail to JK´s and readers realationship)

A/N: Next Chapter we´ll have the next member appear, share your guesses?!

Previous / Next 

Chapter two

“And do you know where I want you? On your knees”

Taglist: @imezz​ @anxietylovesme​ @holaaaf​ @ot7purple​ 

(Not my gif)

One year ago ( Jungkook 21 / Reader 20)

 "Stop cheating!", you exclaimed, looking giggling through the mirror, watching Jungkook trying to warm up with you.

This morning he had insisted to try to warm up with you, but he quickly realised, that a ballet warm up looks a lot different than a normal gym warm up.

You were standing and bending down trying to reach your toes.

 Jungkook, being the good boyfriend he is, said he had to watch you do it first, so he'd know how to do it. Naively, you believed him, continuing with your warm up, not noticing that Jungkook didn't participate until you looked up to change the exercise.

"I'm not cheating, I'm practising my patience", he smirked, "You don't know how much patience and will it takes me to not take you right here. Seeing you so nicely bend over for me"

You felt the blood rush into your face, standing up straight to look up to him.

"Don't distract me", you whined, shuddering as his hands roamed over your body, setting on your behind. "I didn't get to train yesterday either", you pouted, remembering the way he didn't even let you leave the bed yesterday.

His grip tightened around your waist, one hand left to bring down a harsh slap on your ass, making you whimper.

"But I'm pretty sure you still owe me two free days, seeing as you trained three weeks non-stop."

You looked away, not wanting to see his smirk, as you realised he was right.

The last years had been rough, but better because of Jungkook.

 After hearing about your parents’ death you didn't know what to do. You were underage with no family, you couldn't live alone.

The lawyer came the next day and had even brought his hybrid, claiming that maybe the hybrid would have a calming effect on you.

After smelling the hybrid Jungkook came stomping out of the room he was hiding in, saying if someone would calm you it was him.

The lawyer had asked you if Jungkook was your hybrid and you admitted that he wasn't. The both of you feared that Jungkook would now be taken to a shelter, but were surprised when the lawyer asked you if you wanted him to be.

You and Jungkook were speechless, Jungkook becoming your hybrid?! You nodded your head rapidly and you could swear Jungkooks eyes were becoming teary.

After that the lawyer asked if you had anyone who could be your guardian and you immediately thought of your nanny and cook.

Unsurprisingly both of the asked adults didn't even need to be convinced. But seeing as they both had their own families and didn't want to move into your house and you didn't want to intrude in their lives, you came to the decision that you would stay in the house on your own and the staff would just come to work like they used to.

Money was a bit trickier; till you were legal your guardians would be in control of the money your parent left you. It was a huge sum and you were grateful, that even though your parents seemed to be travelling a lot they still managed to save up just as much, if not more.

 You and Jungkook should never have trouble with money, even of the staff was paid and bought the food from the same sum.

Now you were 20, last year you got your first credit card.

Hybrid laws were also changed in the last years, allowing them access to education (though not in public school) and even own money, so you also got a card for Jungkook with access to your money.

He started to be home-schooled with you, though he had to start first on the basics like reading and writing. But since its Jungkook, everything he set in his mind he achieved.

 You were planning to stay in Busan till you finished your school, maybe then moving to Seoul. After talking about it with Jungkook a plan was easy made.

You'd finish school here and move to Seoul, you weren't sure though if you'd want to sell your home. Jungkook told you that, if you could afford to keep it, you should keep it.

 Living with Jungkook was one of the best things to ever happen to you, he helped you to get over your parents death in a way no one else could. It had been hard, you couldn't eat and sleep, barley functioning.

It had been Jungkook who fed you when none of the staff could talk you into eating.

He was staying with you in your room, holding you while you were crying and mourning. True, the relationship to your parents was rough, them never being around and pressuring you. But they were still your parents and now they were dead.

 "Kookie, please. Just an hour or so", you begged, it was true, you were training a lot, but you had a performance in a few days and saying you were nervous was an understatement. It was the first time you were dancing in a competition in the age class adult. The people you were competing against were probably a whole lot older than you. “I think you trained quiet a lot the last weeks. A few days rest would help you gain some more energy” Jungkook said frowning.

“I need the practice, I know you don´t like it, but they all have more experience than me. How am I supposed to keep up with them? I have enough energy, I just need to get the choreography right. There are still so many parts that aren´t perfect, did you see my last few turns? If I don´t work on them I don´t even need to show up to the competition. Also, why would you even let me warm up if you don´t want me to practice?”, you were starting to rant, but you couldn´t stop yourself now, hands wildly moving you started to realise how many flaws your dance still had.

Jungkooks hand came up to your face, holding your chin tightly, making you look up and stop your movement. His gaze made you freeze immediately.

Never had you thought that your poor bunny would be so dominant and you never thought you would be so submissive. Though Jungkook told you it was pretty clear from the beginning that even though you are the human, you weren't really in control. You didn't know if you should have been offended, but you couldn't find it in you. You had just scoffed, saying, that if you really wanted to be in charge you could, but saying it felt like lying and your boyfriend just laughed.

There was no other person that you trusted like him, so you didn't mind letting him take control, it kinda took away a lot of your anxiety and stress and you saw that Jungkook was enjoying it too. Finally being able to have some control after living on the streets for years and not being able to control his own destiny.

You were looking up to him, hoping he would at least give you an hour.

He chuckled at your try to convince him.

"You know I don't like you training too much. You're going to overwork yourself again", his tone was calm, but firm, you tried to avoid his gaze, but he still held your chin, not letting you look away.

"Just an hour, please Kookie. Just for my peace of mind. So I won't feel bad"

 You could see him thinking, he was avoiding your eyes, knowing he would give in as soon as he looked at you.

Jungkook groaned, "You get one hour of normal training. Don't even think about pushing more than usual or I'll make you sit on that couch for the rest of the week. And I'm watching."

Knowing it wouldn´t be smart to argue you nodded, hugging him tight. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." He rolled his eyes and sat down.      

You started training, the moves just so flowing out of you, you didn´t even need to think about it. Dancing was the only thing in your life that was constantly there, before you had Jungkook, you had dance. While your parents had always pressured you to do better and told you to take part in competitions, you had still kept your love for ballet. Now dancing felt like the most natural thing to you, that doesn´t mean there weren´t moments where you wanted to quit.

You remember first starting to dance on pointe and how your toes kept hurting even days after. You couldn´t imagine continuing dancing like that, where was the fun in doing it when it was hurting you while doing it. You remember your mother screaming at you when you told her; you didn’t want to dance anymore. She was telling you how ungrateful you were being, claiming that you shouldn´t stop the only thing you were good at/for just because you were weak.

But you also remember Jungkook comforting you when you were crying to him that day, you almost expected him to tell you to quit, because you were crying so much. You knew he didn´t like seeing you sad or hurt, so it would only make sense for him to tell you to stop, but he didn´t. Instead he told you, that dancing was your passion and you shouldn´t stop just because you hit a rough patch.

“It may be hurting now, but imagine how you´ll be feeling once you can dance absolutely free. You´ll be able to do anything you like. Don´t you think that pain will be worth it in the end?” Your first reaction to his speech was a snort, no eleven year old boy could talk like that, you were convinced he heard something along the lines before somewhere and decided to recite that to you. But then you saw the serious look on his face and understood that he knew what he said and he meant it. You went to bed that day thinking about his words, you couldn´t really imagine how it would feel to dance without pain again, you didn´t think that would be possible again. Then the words Jungkook spoke hit you, you wanted to know how it would feel, you wanted to dance.

Thinking back on it now, you realised how stupid you were for even thinking about stopping dancing, but that´s why you were also so thankful for the bunny. You didn´t know how you would have decided without him, maybe you would have continued for your mother and grew to hate it, maybe you would have stopped and suffered the wrath of your mother.

Arms snaked around your torso, stopping your movement; you felt a hand brush your cheek. “Why are you crying?” Jungkook asked softly. You didn´t realise you were crying, you held eye contact through the mirror, cupping his hand with your smaller one and leant back on him. The two of you were just swaying comfortably to the music in the background.

“I just thought about how thankful I´m for you” you said quietly, knowing your boyfriend will hear you anyway. “You are pretty amazing, you know?”

Jungkook grinned before firing tiny kisses to your cheek and jaw, “I know I´m great, but don´t forget that you made me this great.” You shook your head, “You did that by yourself, I just let you be.”

The song faded out, but the two of you stayed this close, still swaying with no real rhythm. “You know, I looked at some houses in Seoul. I think there are some you´d really like” Jungkook mumbled into your hair, before pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. You hummed before finally turning around to face him, “But Kookie, we still have to finish the school year here, before we can go and move out.”

You were a bit confused why he would already worry about your new place; you still had to finish your last year of home schooling. “I know, but I thought, that we could maybe start looking around a bit, also, your school year has like eight months left, which isn´t a year, if I´m correct”

Jungkook looked smug as he realised, you couldn´t really say anything against that, you shook your head and rolled your eyes, “Whatever” You tried to wiggle out of his grip, but the way to strong bunny didn´t let you move an inch.

Instead he gripped your chin tightly, “Did you just roll your eyes at me?” he asked in a low tone, sending shivers down your spine. When you first started dating Jungkook showed already, that he didn´t accept certain behaviours and he had no problem to put you in your place should you forget. After you helped him with his first rut he only got more demanding, but you didn´t mind.

You loved to see him so confident and sure of himself and he loved to see you trusting him so much to let him be. You knew he loved being in charge and having power and he knew you loved feeling small and being taken care of, in a way you could say, that your childhood made you what you are today.

“I´m sorry”, you whimper out, not wanting to meet his stern gaze, silently cursing yourself. You knew that there was a good chance he would punish you, he already punished you for less, and while you loved it and the pleasure it brought, you loved being good for him. You wanted to be praised, be his good girl, the way he would praise you and tell you how good you were being for him always managed to make your heart flutter.

“Look at me” the dominance in his voice alone would have made you crumble to your knees immediately, if it hadn´t been for his grip on your jaw. “Did we forget how to behave now?” he spoke in a condescending tone that made your thighs clench. “First you train too much, then you dare to talk back to me, wanting to train even more, overworking yourself again. And now you roll your eyes at me and can´t even look at me. What am I gonna do with you, you brat?”

“I´m sorry Kookie, I really am”, you whine, hands softly gripping onto his arm. Jungkooks eyes soften for a short bit, before turning hard again. “I believe you are, baby girl. I know how much you love to be good for me, but sorry isn´t going to cut it this time. I think you need to be reminded where your place is. Tell me little girl, do you know where your place is?”

You shuddered, finally looking up to him through your lashes, already knowing what he wanted to hear, Jungkook watched with hungry eyes as you spoke, “Wherever you want it to be, Kookie. My place is wherever you want me.” Your boyfriend hummed in agreement, “And do you know where I want you? On your knees”

Without having to be told twice you sank to your knees, hands already on the zipper of his pants and Jungkook didn´t stop you, as you pulled his hard member out.

“That´s right, my baby already knows what I want from her. Trained her so good, so obedient for me. Go on little dancer, take it in your mouth. If you do good maybe I´ll let you cum today”

With new motivation you took the head of his member in your mouth, before flattening your tounge against his the underside of his dick. You kitten licked him a few times, but started taking him all in after he growled at you not to tease him. You began to steady bob your head up and down and Jungkooks groaning from above you told you, you did everything right. A hand came down to your hair and he started to control the pace, making you gag as his dick hit the back of your throat.

“That´s right little dancer, taking me so well, looking so pretty while you choke on my dick.”  

Jungkook watched you with hooded eyes, your hands tightly gripped the back of his thighs, tears leaking your eyes and the only sound to be heard were Jungkooks quiet groans.  “Ah fuck baby girl, if we keep going like that I´m gonna cum” he moaned and you brought your hands to his balls, trying to make him cum, especially after tasting his pre cum on your tounge.

But Jungkook had other plans, he pulled you off his dick making you stand up. “That´s not where I´m cuming in baby girl. Up to the mirror, hands against it” Before he even finished talking you were already in motion. Bend over, hands pressed against the mirror. You felt Jungkook standing behind you, big hands roaming over your back till they came to rest on your hips.

“Always so responsive for me, good girl” he praised knowing it´s what you´ve been dying to hear. His feet kicked softly against your ankles, making you widen your stance, before he hooked his fingers under your shorts, pulling them down along with your panties.

You whimper as the cool air hit your core, you arched your back, hoping Jungkook would get the hint to finally fuck you. You felt finger tips brushing down your spine till they came to a stop at your core. Whining you tried to push back, wanting Jungkook to touch you where you needed him most, but as he picked up on your neediness he chuckled, his one hand on your hips limiting your movements. “If there´s something my little dancer wants, she should just speak up”

You looked at him through the mirror, hoping your pout would make him soften up and just give you what you want. He caught your pout and smirked, one finger stroking painfully slow over your clit, making your legs tremble. “Is there something you want me to do? You are so wet, I bet there´s something you want. Speak up baby girl, you were so good at talking back earlier”

You whined at the thought of having to voice your wishes, but your whine was quickly replaced by a groan, as you felt his finger leaving your clit. Gone was the only stimulation you had gotten so far.

“No no no, Kookie. I want you to fuck me” you exclaimed loudly. You looked at Jungkook through the mirror, his face darkening and you realised, you may have forgotten something. Before you could talk again, a harsh slap came down to your ass, followed by the next. You first yelled out, but quickly started to find the pleasure in the sting. “Did you lose your manners? Is that how you talk to me? I thought you were my good girl?” he asked, not stopping spanking you and you couldn´t control your cries anymore. You could feel how wet you were and you needed him, now.

“I´m sorry, Kookie. Please, please fuck me. I promise I´ll be good. But please I need you to fuck me”, you begged and almost let out a sob as you felt his thick member slowly pushing into you. “Yes, yes, please- fuck Kookie” you rambled as he completely entered you, not giving you much time to adjust and starting off in a fast pace. Jungkooks hands both found your waist, holding you as he fucked into you. The only sound to be heard was the sound of slapping skin and yours and Jungkooks moans. You threw you head back, letting Jungkook lean forward to leave his marks all over your neck. One of his hands snaked their way between your legs, finding your clit and helping the knot in your lower stomach build.

“Look at what a good girl you can be if you want. Begging like a good girl, letting me mark you up, so everyone knows you are mine- fuck such a good girl” Jungkook moaned making your head loll in bliss. You felt your orgasm approaching, your pussy clenching around Jungkooks length. “Fuck! Keep clenching like that. Are you close, you wanna cum on my dick? Letting me pump you full of my load, yeah?”

“F-fuck, please Kookie. I wanna cum, please, can I cum? Please I-I” you were babbling by know, the pleasure coming from Jungkook combined with his dominant aura was clouding your senses. He chuckled and moaned as he also felt his dick twitch, “Look at you being my good girl and asking. Cum for me.”

At his words you felt white pleasure run over you, you came moaning Jungkoooks name, head falling forwards. Your legs felt like they might give up if it wasn´t for Jungkook holding you. Jungkooks thrust’s starting becoming sloppy, letting you know, that he was also close as he continued to fuck you.

Your pussy clenched around him, causing Jungkook to also finally cum, his finger dung into the flesh of your hips, no doubt leaving more marks. He moaned out your name, along with a few cuss words, before stilling. The sound of your heavy breathing filled the room.

Slowly he pulled himself out and turned you around, so you were standing chest to chest, you both still fully clothed above your hips. Jungkook pulled you into a sweet kiss, “My good girl, you did so well for me. I love you” You melted at his words, but the sweet moment was ruined as you felt his warm cum running down your leg. Jungkook noticed and swept you up in his arms, “Let´s get you cleaned up. How about a bath and then a movie?”

You nodded and relaxed in his arms, you pressed a sweet kiss to his neck and murmured a quiet “I love you Kookie”, but by the tightening of his grip and the smile on his face you knew that he heard you just fine.

 Next

[mayz1er]

talkin abt ily the fic but it’s mostly me worrying so it’s not that great ^_^

guys :( the next cjapter is making me sad :( so much so i had to pause like five times while editing. also i accidentally make it 17k words long instead of 12k i hope u don’t mind :( fuck it’s gonna be a pain in the ass to edit esp since i don’t think ill have any1 to beta read it but it’s ok

i’m also on mobile haha tap tap on my little phone screen. i think i made my writing to incomprehensible. it feels so dense to me and i’m not sure how to fix it. good writing is understandable and i feel like mine is not. that. right now. maybe it’s just cuz it’s so many words idk i got a headache half way thru editing only the last section of the chap.

i accidentally started projecting on present life flashback ranboo migjtve accidentally given him mommy issues?? soz?? but he’s so fucked it i feel so bad this poor kid

i feel like with how stupidly flowery my writing style can be, it’s like i’m romantacizing things i shouldn’t be. i had this problem w blood red presidential ties too, because sure dark topics hidden in metaphors are cool but r they still cool if it looks like it’s supposed to be pretty?? i don’t wanna glamorize things that shudnt be glamorized especially with important topics that effect not only me but the readers that deal w the same issues. i don’t wanna paint a pretty picture of an ugly topic, ykno?

ilybeeduo :( tragic. star crossed lovers or whatever the fuck it’s called. i miss them alrdy. i’ll tell you something, i’m seeing this story as a loop. i outlined this fic in a circle rather than a straight line that ends. do i wanna break the cycle? maybe i do. maybe i will! but u won’t like that ending either tbh. not as in “it’s a bad ending” no it wud just also probably be a little sad. let me tell u a little more. ranboo is a lamb to the slaughter. ranboo is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. PRWTEND LAMB AND SHEEP R THE SAME THING 4 THE SAKE OF THIS METAPHOR. also another worry i have is that i’m conveying ilybeeduo as toxic like i mean yeah a little bit like. FUCK AISIEKOK ok i’m calm. they love each other. they don’t purposely hurt each other. ok ok ok.

i’m actually sick n twisted for this chapter i feel so bad oh god but i’m gonna post it bc i need this out in the world. or at least to the readers LMAO. i wanna say that there’s a distinct lesson to learn by the end of reading it, like how presidential ties was me trying to convey a message of healing and hope. but that doesn’t exist in ily the fic. i’m sorry 2 say that i don’t think i’ll write a healing and hopeful ending. it just doesn’t work out, at least in the time frame i have. maybe there’ll be a sequel. who knows.

i mean it when i think this is a make or break chapter and it’s less so the story and more of my progress in writing. this is either the best or worst thing i’ve ever written. this story is either beautifully inctricate or a stupid piece of shit. ew ok i don’t even hate this fic or my writing that much rn but like that’s what i’m thinking. i feel like i rlly did push myself out of my comfort zone while writing especially this chapter and these characters and the amount of thinking i had 2 do to interlace the backstories and part present future but like. idk. what if it flops???? what if i haven’t improved as much as i wanted to??? eh. idk! i’m just saying things

also i love ily!alliumduo so much i love them so much i totally wasn’t projecting my old friendships on them naurrr id never do thy 🤨🤨🤨🤨

lmao i feel like i’m saying everything n nothing at the same time cuz i have 2 be vague in order to not spoil it. but dont worry i’m alright w my stance on ily the fic it’s just. i want this chapter to be good.

[eberles]

i hate u, i love u

Rafe Cameron

(gif by @toesure :)

Request: A Rafe fic based on the song “I hate u, I love you” by gnash (ft Olivia O’Brien) PLEASE MAJOR RAFE VIBES 🥺💖 @fav-imagines

A/N: I wanted to cry writing this lol idk why but it hit me right in the feels!! it’s kind of all over the place, if anyone is confused by, don’t worry bc i am too!!!! lol anyways enjoy!! (this is probably the first thing ive ever written that goes with rafe’s character) bold = lyrics, italics = flashbacks

Warnings: angst, mentions of drugs, cheating, lying, toxic relationship, swearing

feelin used, but im still missin you and i cant see the end of it just wanna feel your kiss against my lips and now all this time is passing by, but i still cant seem to tell you why it hurts me every time i see you, realize how much i need you

I’ve spent months sitting in my room staring at the ceiling, and at the walls. I did a full Bella Swan from New Moon and let 3 months go by without being present for any of them. I didn’t care honestly...Even after spending all that time alone, i’m not still not healed from the heartache that was caused by him. I still miss him, his scent, his kisses, his clothes, everything. Rafe.

I went out once and he was the last person I wanted or planned to see, but of course, he was the only person I actually saw. Sure, there were other people around, but none of them mattered. Everyone else felt greyed out except for him. He was the only light I could see in those short moments. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, my breath hitched in my throat and it felt like there was no air left to breathe.

After months it still hurts to see him again. It hurts because I realized I still need him even after everything. I hate him. So why do I love him? The feeling of him being the only one I want, the one nobody could ever replace...it’s overwhelming and I can’t seem to shake it. But me? He replaced. It looked like it was easy from my point of view. He needed her, wanted her, and i’m not her.

i miss you when i can’t sleep or right after coffee or right when i can’t eat, i miss you in my front seat, still got sand in my sweaters from nights we don’t remember. do you miss me like i miss you? fucked around and got attached to you.

My head was consumed on thoughts of you. It was constant. Like the leaky faucet in the bathroom or the loose floorboard. Always running, always broken. I miss you. Maybe you’ll come around, but for now...I wish you were here instead. When it’s late and I can’t sleep, I think about you. When it’s early and I can’t eat, I think about you.

“Where are we going?” you giggled excitedly, grabbing my hand from across the console in my truck.

“Shh, I told you it’s a surprise baby, we’re almost there anyways.” I laughed at her giggling like a kid, she had so much excitement in her eyes. She was always ready for anything, even if it was 2 in the morning and I love that about her. I love everything about her.

“Ugh fine!” she groaned dramatically and rolled her eyes in a full circle looking up at the ceiling. “Why are we at the beach?” you didn’t even give me enough time to answer before jumping out of the truck and running towards the sand laughing the entire way to the water. Once I caught up with you, I grabbed your hands and pulled you close into my chest, kissing your forehead. When we broke apart I laid down a few blankets on the sand, noticing you were cold, I also gave you my sweater.

We stared at the stars and talked about anything and everything for hours. It felt magical. We stayed until the sun came up, watching the sunset before driving back to my house for some much needed rest.

Walking over to my closet, curious to know if that same sweater ended up back in my closet after that night. I reached in, digging around not finding anything and decided to look in my dresser instead. Of course, it was folded neatly in the drawer you used to call yours. Grabbing and shaking it out I noticed the light pieces of sand that fell from it. I brought it in to my nose wondering if it still smelt like your perfume. It did. I’m always tired lately, but never of you. Do you miss me too?

if i pulled a you on you, you wouldn’t like that shit, i put this reel out, but you wouldn’t bite that shit. i type a text then i never mind that shit, i got these feelings, but you never mind that shit. you’re still in love with me but your friends don’t know.

To Y/N: i wanna talk, i think...maybe i miss y-

*delete*

To Rafe: I miss you so much, it hurt someti-

*delete*

“Y/N...what’s going on? You’re off in never never land! Do you still miss him?” Kiara asked, gently shaking my knee to gain my attention back to the group. I looked at her and around at the rest of the pogues and put a smile on my face, shaking my head.

“Of course not, it’s been months! I’m so over him, guys. Besides even if I did, it wouldn’t matter.” I tried so hard to sound confident. I hope they bought it. Of fucking course, I miss Rafe. I’m still in love with him for gods sake. I hate that I want him.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Sure, i’ve moved on, but I think about y/n, just about everyday. I guess for me, moving on is finding someone new, but not actually wanting anyone new. I just couldn’t bare to be alone anymore with my thoughts. I deserve better than that, personally.

“Anyways Topper, if y/n wanted me still, she would say so right?” I looked at Topper, silently hoping he would lie to me, just tell me what I want to hear, man. “If I were her, I would’ve never let me go. She’s missing out.”

“Hell yea, dude! That’s the right attitude.” Topper said, jumping up to high five me. Of course, that was the statement he was on board with. I hate that I want you.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

I haven’t been to a party in months, Kiara and Sarah thought that this would be the most fitting post-break up activity for me. Maybe meet a new guy or something. I tuned out when they were telling me about it and just agreed. What I neglected to listen to, was that it was a kook party. So now, i’m at a party alone, since my friends ditched me to dance with each other. And on top of that, I watch him watch her, like she’s the only girl he’s ever seen.

It took less than an hour of being at this party for us to end up in a room alone together.

“You don’t care! You never did!” Rafe shouted, running his hands through his hair, clearly exasperated with this conversation. I don’t even know how it started. One minute I was watching him with another girl, and the next he was hauling me off, away from everyone.

“You don’t give a damn about me, Rafe! How is it you never notice that you’re slowly killing me?” you wanted to yell back at him, to scream at him for putting you through this again, but you couldn’t. He didn’t say anything in return so you continued, “I hate you, and I hate that I love you, Rafe.” I’ve tried to move on, but even the simple thought of dating anyone but him, makes me physically ill. Why does it have to be like this?

“I don’t mean no harm, I just miss you on my arm, babe. Do you ever wonder what we could’ve been y/n?” He’s taunting me by asking dumb questions, as if I wanted this to happen, as if i’m the cause of all of this. Rafe’s the one that was closed off, not me. Of course, he switches the stories and i’m sure everyone at this damn party thinks I left him heart broken.

“You have a girlfriend, why are you even asking me that?” I was starting to get angry, I felt like he was toying with me.

He’s laughing. Of fucking course, he’s laughing at me. This is all one big fucking joke to him. “Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix. Isn’t that what you always told your friends Rafe?” I was furious, how could he act that way after everything? He’s still a child though, that will never change.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

You were right. I did lie to you, multiple times. About where I was, who I was with, what I was doing. I didn’t want you to know I was such a fuck up. You didn’t deserve the pain of finding out I was lying and cheating and drugging. You did anyways though. Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed.

“Rafe! Come dance with me!” I downed the rest of my drink before throwing the glass down and walking away from the new girl I was seeing. I didn’t care anymore.

I don’t want you, Y/N. I shouldn’t fucking miss you. I don’t deserve to! Seeing you again is such bullshit. If you wouldn’t have shown up here, I wouldn’t have said those things to you. Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges, just to create some distance. You didn’t deserve that, I knew it, but at least now you might learn your lesson and stay away. It’s for the best, right?

I hate that I love her, but I can’t put nobody else above her.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

I wasn’t sure if I had the closure I needed, but after that particular conversation with Rafe I felt a little better. I returned to the party with my head held high and danced with my friends. I hoped he was watching me too since i’m not sure what he was trying to do by joking around at my expense. But maybe if he thinks it didn’t bother me he will know how it fucking feels. 

I learned from my dad that it’s good to have feelings when love and trust is gone. I guess this is moving on. I hate you, I love you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[t100ficrecsblog]

an interview with @burninghoneyatdusk​ (she/her) What are you working on right now? Right now I’m prioritizing prompts for the Bellarke Writers for BLM Initiative, which is a mix of new prompts and requests for WIP updates. I just posted a chapter update of my fic Voices in the Water, which is a canon-verse/everyone is a grounder arranged marriage AU with a bit of a twist, and next I’m working on a new prompt. After that, I’ve got three chapters of All Because of You  requested. All Because of You is a modern AU with bellarke as *platonic* coparents. The story is told in alternating flashbacks and present day (every other chapter). The flashbacks focus on them growing closer during Clarke’s unplanned pregnancy and the present is seven years later, where they have to come to terms with their feelings for each other when Clarke gets engaged to someone else.

What’s something you’d like to write one day? I would love to publish a novel one day. For years I had a YA dystopian/time travel trilogy kind of planned but I poked too many holes in it and want to start from scratch in that regard. Another novel I want to write is one that covers three generations of women, looking at mother-daughter relationships, women in society, generational trauma… a lot of stuff. It was inspired by learning about my grandmother’s life more and thinking about how it impacted her relationship with my mother, and in turn my mother’s relationship with me.

For fanfiction, beyond my current prompts and WIPs, I have two other fics outlined. One is an AU inspired by the movie Plus One. The other is a soulmate AU that’s a bit dark and involves immortality, magic, and essentially Bellamy as a villain with a redemption arc.

What is the fanwork you’re most proud of? I think All Because of You will probably remain my most popular, but right now I’m most proud of Voices in the Water. More so than my other fics, it has a more concise plot and I’ve done a deeper dive into Clarke’s character as an Azgeda assassin and I think the reader really gets into her head more than my other multiple POV fics. It’s also my first canonverse fic and I’ve enjoyed diving into that world and expanding upon it where I want.

When did you first start writing fic? I didn’t start writing fic until the beginning of 2019. I first published in February 2019, which was Homesick (It’s a Bittersweet Feeling). It was my first fic and the only multichapter WIP that’s complete right now, so it’s a special story for me.

What frustrates you most about fic writing? I’ve mostly had only a positive experience with fanfic writing. With the exception of a couple stray comments, my readers have been gracious, kind, and most importantly, patient. But I guess it can be challenging when you self-impose pressure because you’re aware that people are waiting for you to publish so sometimes I rush things. I haven’t personally experienced this, but I think that fic writing can also be frustrating when readers feel like you owe them something or unnecessarily offer negative comments that aren’t at all constructive. Some people forget that people are publishing stories for free, in their spare time, often in addition to full-time jobs or school and parenting.

What are your top five songs right now? 1. castles (freya ridings) 2. maniac (conan gray) 3. fired up (grace carter) 4. I am not afraid (g flip) 5. wanna be (betty who)

What are your inspirations? (books, songs, other fic) I take inspiration from all of those things but I would say mostly quotes and random photos on tumblr. I wrote Homesick because I liked the step-siblings/forbidden trope and wanted to write in a small town setting like the one I grew up in. All Because of You was honestly the classic “this is my bedtime daydream story I think about every night” so it’s pretty self-indulgent with the tropes I wanted to use. Voices in the Water was started because I loved the grounder!Bellamy / arranged marriage trope. The wanheda twist came from me reading the 4x11 script to screen with Clarke trying to force herself to shoot Bellamy to save humanity, but realizing that she can’t.

What first attracted you to Bellarke? What attracts you now? I’m not sure I remember a specific moment but I think I remember bellarke being all over my tumblr dash when I started s2 so kind of paying close attention to them during s2. s2 was of course a great season for them and by the ‘knocking on heaven’s door’ scene in 2x16 I was a goner.

Regarding what drew me to them, I think I’ve always loved a good slow burn with the partners/”I’ve got your back” vibe that they have. My first (and biggest) OTP before them was tony & ziva from NCIS which is a really similar vibe although a very different show.

Besides Bellarke, what character or pairing do you like best on t100? I think that Memori is probably my second place ship. Before s7, I would say there was a HUGE gap between my love of Bellarke and Memori, but this season has made me an even bigger Memori fan. I have to say that while I don’t think there was ever a chance of Murven happening, I do understand why people ship it. I think they have great chemistry/a great dynamic and in another life, so to speak, I would have shipped them. 

Regarding characters on their own, I just love all my delinquents, but I think that Murphy is solidly my third favorite character. Raven and Octavia are probably tied behind him.

Why did you decide to start bellarkefic-for-blm? I credit the reason to Kara ( @queenemori ). (Sidenote: everyone go follow her! She’s an amazing fanfic writer and overall just a really positive, awesome person to have in the fandom). I remember reading her post  - and I won’t try to paraphrase, so please take the time to read her it - but in general it got me thinking about how we as a fandom could support the BLM movement in a substantial way that is more than just spreading posts on social media, and in a way that doesn’t lose momentum as time goes on and the movement becomes less “trendy.” I thought about how many people collectively read our fanfiction and how we provide it for free, and if people could just pay a few dollars or however much they can afford and donate that to the cause, we collectively could make a huge difference. So that’s what I’m hoping this is - making a substantial difference in a way that doesn’t fade in time and also uses the power of fandom in a useful way. We have a lot of power if we collectively put it towards something like this instead of fighting over ships or actors or whatnot. I also figured that maybe we’d have readers who weren’t paying attention to the movement and that maybe because they want to submit a prompt, they’d do some research on where to donate, and that in turn helps educate them on the issue - or is at least a start.

Has it been as successful as you’d hoped? So on the positive side, I do think it’s incredible that in about six weeks we’ve raised nearly $1250 and have been able to donate to a variety of organizations. I’m incredibly grateful for the authors donating their time and the enthusiastic readers participating. I don’t mean to sound negative at all, but if I’m being honest, I do feel a little frustration at the lack of participation across the fandom as a whole or maybe more specifically across the AO3 readers. I know that my WIP chapters average about 1k hits per update. That’s a lot of people. Even if you cut that in half because maybe people are rereading, that’s still 500 people. So why are only about 20 of my readers donating to this initiative? I think it’s a bit discouraging when you look at the percentage in that way. 

That’s not to say that I don’t understand that some aren’t financially in a position to donate, but I’ve made it clear that there are other ways to contribute (e.g. signing petitions, writing to politicians) and there hasn’t been traction with that either. So I think that in general, something is always better than nothing and it has in no way discouraged me from continuing this. But I’m hoping that more people are able to participate as time goes on. It’s truly a win-win situation of generating more fanfics for readers and donating to an important issue, so I hope to see the percentage of fanfiction readers submitting prompts increase and am doing what I can to continue spreading the word about it. 

I guess in summary what I’m saying is, I’m proud of what the fandom has done so far, but let’s step it up. We can do more, we can do better. Maybe people will get pissed I said that, but idk. If you read fic and can buy a $3 coffee, you can donate to this cause. It’s important. As was Kara’s point, let’s not see this momentum fade when the BLM movement becomes less ~trendy~.

What are some things you’d like to recommend? Instead of writing an essay about all the fics I love, I’d like to link both my bookmarked fics which is my complete list of bellarke fic recs.

I also want to recommend visiting the Bellarke Writers for BLM Initiative writers’ page - these writers are incredible so please go check out their existing works and continue requesting prompts for the BLM movement!

On the note of BLM, I'd also like to link this article. It's older, written in the aftermath of the Charleston attack, but it remains one of the most thought provoking pieces I've read on race in our country.

it was my honor to interview burninghoneyatdusk! honestly, if you aren’t reading Voices in the Water, which is Bellarke except Clarke is an assassin, you should be. it haunts me. she also organized the very cool bellarkefic-for-blm. 

[currentlyreadingmanga]

Toilet-bound Hanako-kun Chapter 14: The 4pm Bookstacks (Part 4)

Previously: a lot happened. A whole lot. We’re finally learning about Hanako’s backstory and boy oh boy was it tough to read. And the worst part is that we’ve barely even scratched the surface of his story and I already was on the verge of tears. And I think this flashback isn’t over yet. So this can only mean good things for my sanity as we go through the rest of the chapters. It’s :) gonna :) be :) just :) great :)

Now onto the next chapter!

I don’t know if I’m emotionally prepared to keep going after the last chapter but my curiosity is also kinda killing so we’re gonna pummel through anyway! 

.................................................. (ಥ﹏ಥ) I’m so sad and it’s only the first page oh boy

It looks like we’re starting right where we left off but it looks like Hanako is employing a tactical move that I like to call “swift and sudden change of subject”. And I get that he clearly doesn’t want to talk about it but sigh I wish he would.

There’s the lunar rock! Oh, that’s interesting. He says that it fell right in front of him when he was about four years old. Tsuchigomori doesn’t really believe it’s an actual lunar rock, but Hanako says that he thought he wouldn’t, but that that won’t change what he believes

...baby boy ♡o(╥﹏╥)o ♥♡ sweet baby boy look at that smile 

BUT more importantly

“We”, you say, huh? Okay, so before when the suspicious green-haired girl said “is yours like that, too?” I had asked a lot of questions since that comment had opened various possibilities. The main theories I had at the time was that maybe if more than one person summoned Hanako, then maybe different versions could appear or even that it could have been the same Hanako but acting differently depending on the person who called upon him. And this “we” comment could still point to something similar, maybe hinting that he has multiple personalities. But it also makes me think of another answer that I can’t believe it didn’t cross my mind earlier: could it be that he has a brother? Would that even work? Like, it would mean that his brother has to be dead too, right? So idk, maybe it wouldn’t be possible, But they keep hinting at this idea that there’s “another Hanako”, so I think I should keep various options on the table just case.

....................baby boy

I’m sorry for gushing so much but he just looks so excited about his rock and the moon I :(((( I’m very torn because he’s adorable but he’s also covered in bruises and cuts and I just want him to be safe even though this is the past and nothing can be done now

Also! The fact that he said that this rock is his prized possession and now it is Tsuchigomori’s yorishiro (aka the object with the strongest emotional connection he has in his possession) says a lot about their relationship, huh? He really must care a lot about Hanako, much more than he lets on.

But yeah, Tsuchigomori wants to go back to the important subject at hand but once again Hanako uses “swift and sudden change of subject” and it’s super effective! It’s really taking all of my self-control not to post every panel with smiling Hanako here, he’s too precious, hel p. It seems like he really likes the moon and probably space in general and that’s really cute

o h

The way my heart just sank oh my fucking go d child please get away from the window Tsuchigomori please get him away from there

(;;⚆ _ ⚆ )  Tsuchigomori pl e  a se get him down from there before I have a heart attack

Oh okay, he’s back, mostly, kinda. He’s still on the window sill, though, and it’s giving me anxiety. I really need him to step back inside the room. God, I would have panicked just as much as Tsuchigomori right there jfc

Okay so, after slapping Tsuchigomori’s hand away when he tried to help him (which, hello, physical manifestation of his own unwillingness to get help), Hanako mentions how Tsuchigomori has said before that he’s worried about him and that he wants to help, and the teacher confirms that yes, that’s the case

..............................god, I think I kept mentioning it last chapter too, but there’s something so powerful about the way Hanako was drawn in these last two chapters. He’s clearly the same character we have come to know, but there’s such vulnerability and humanity in the way he’s portrayed that it really tugs at your heartstrings. He looks so small and vulnerable, just like the child he is. A child that has seen and experienced too much but who still smiles to not worry those around him.

Ah, speaking of which

;u;

So yeah, here’s where he gives Tsuchigomori the rock. And the latter is surprised to be receiving it since Hanako did say that this was his most prized possession. Hanako says that whenever he looks at it, he fees as if he could go anywhere..........okay, that just brings up more questions, because why would he give away something that gives him hope?

..................oh. Oh no, I don’t like the implications right here, no sir

...........................................fuck. I really really don’t want my hunch to be right but. this really implies that he could have decided to end his own life. Because then he wouldn’t need his rock, not if he was bent on “not going anywhere”. And he’s saying it with a smile too what does that mean ...........I..........okay, let’s keep reading

It looks like the memory is over and we’re back to Yashiro and Tsuchigomori in the nurse's office. Wow, it’s night already, this whole ordeal really took quite a while.

Tsuchigomori confirms that what Yashiro saw where indeed the memories housed inside the yorishiro and oh! That’s right! That means that Hanako was the only person to have successfully changed their future, at least according to Tsuchigomori. How exactly did he change it would be the question to ask now. 

Tsuchigomori starts to talk about the significance the moon landing had on society at the time since before that “going to the moon” was just another unattainable dream that only existed in people’s imaginations. But then it became reality and the world was full of hope because it opens the door to dreams that before seemed so unattainable now seemed possible. And how, among this cheerful climate, there was one boy who at that moment decided he wouldn’t be going anywhere.

Then he mentions that, as his teacher, he was worried about him, or so he pretended to be. Ah, okay. he says he “pretended” because he had already read his book, so even if he kept asking Hanako to tell him what was happening to him, he already knew. Hmmm, he says that he’s just “a supernatural pretending to be human” and that’s why he didn’t think much of it, but I honestly don’t think he would have been so indifferent if the book said that Hanako was gonna die soon (I’m assuming that conversation we saw wasn’t too much earlier in Hanako’s life since he didn’t look that much younger and the classroom sign said “2-2″ so he probably was in junior high? I think). So maybe the way his future change really was with him dying. Did Hanako die before he was supposed to?

oh

Oh, that’s.........that’s heartbreaking. He really did die too soon, way too soon. Fucking hell, that’s not what I expected at all. Like, when Tsuchigomori first mentioned that one person had been able to change their future, I had imagined that it would be a positive change, you know? Because usually, those type of scenarios play out with the person avoiding a bad situation that would be detrimental to their future. But it seems like here it’s the opposite.

Also, just imagine being in Tsuchigomori’s shoes in this situation. Like, you’re worried about the kid but then you find out that he's gonna be okay: he'll become a teacher after he delves into what he's passionate about. So you relax a bit, since what’s been written in the books never changes. But then, one day, suddenly and unexpectedly, that boy dies, that same boy who smiled at you and seemed to have such a bright future ahead of him. His life was cut short and now he's another being that haunts the school you work at. And you tell yourself that there was nothing you could have done since the future had never changed before, but a part of you whispers the "what ifs" every time you see his face on the hallways and it’s just. again, I repeat: heartbreaking.

;u; look at this good man. He really is a softie on the inside.

Oh dear, it looks like she’s really shaken up. Can’t say I blame her, that’s a lot of heavy information to digest in one go.

Awwww and of course, there are Kou and Hanako barging into her room, because these loud boys are loud. Also, Kou should know by this point that Hanako doesn’t have any regard for personal space with anyone so, yeah, it’s kind of a lost cause lol

Oh, sweetie...The whole ordeal was really emotionally taxing on her. Like she says there, we all knew that he was a ghost from the start but learning about his life makes us face the fact that he’s also alive at one point. He was around Kou and Nene’s age when he died. Again, we knew that deep down, but now the fact that his future was cut short is impossible to ignore. That’s the reality of the situation and Yashiro has a lot to think about after this. She’s still only, what, fifteen? and it is a heavy burden to deal with.

Oh? He probably notices that something is off by her reaction? Does he know what she saw when she destroyed the yorishiro?

Okay, so he goes to confront Tsuchigomori about it

Hmmm, so yeah, like I thought at the beginning of this arc: he’s probably not ready to actually share the details of his life with her yet. And honestly, after the last two chapters, I see where he’s coming from because this is a lot to unpack.

........oH

(ಥ﹏ಥ)

(TдT)(TдT)(TдT)

[omophagias]

bookposting #22

tender is the night, f. scott fitzgerald: 3.5 stars, i’d say. i really do like his prose style. it…there’s some l-word, i forget which—languid, that’s it. it felt very languid. i was less a fan of the flashback parts, partially because i didn’t like being in dick’s head as much as i liked being in rosemary’s. it also sometimes felt like fitzgerald was kind of wobbling around on the border between “no, obviously dick isn’t meant to be a sympathetic character, he’s a self-destructive asshole” and the, like, not being really sure whether he was extending that “you shouldn’t like him!” to the part where he marries his teenage psychiatric patient. (fortunately the autobiographical resemblance didn’t get that far…?) really what i was mostly thinking by the end was, damn, fscott and zelda, i really wish you’d lived in a time when it was easier to get divorced. but, you know, on the list of books about people just really fucking themselves over, this is one of the better ones. i think i got it because i can’t / couldn’t stop thinking about “patient is the night” from over the garden wall.

the fire next time, james baldwin: 5 stars easy. i really wish i’d read it sooner; i ended up reading it because i bought my roommate a copy for his birthday and wanted to be able to write him a decent further-reading list to go with it. i just was completely awed by the facility with which he was able to touch on so many different things and draw them back together into a whole, and he was such a writer. i don’t know that i can really talk about "down at the cross” right now without just quoting massive passages because it just speaks so completely for itself. read it.

trouble the saints, alaya dawn johnson: three stars? this is kind of hard to talk about because i theoretically like a lot about it. alternate-universe 1930s-1940s where at the age of 10 some people of color gain a power called “the hands” along with occasional semi-prophetic dreams, “the hands” basically give you one superpower like “can see a person’s worst deed by touching them” or “can sense threat to oneself”, protagonist’s power is unfailingly perfect aim, which she uses to kill for the mob. i think maybe it was a marketing issue, because from the blurbs and so forth it seemed to be being sold as much more of a straight up and down fantasy noir, which is absolutely not what you’re getting. it’s extremely character-driven and thematically very concerned with passing, liminality, justice, ancestral trauma. i will say i didn’t care as much for the middle third, i thought dev’s narrative voice was not interesting, especially compared to phyllis or tamara. it’s…i don’t know, i think it’s interesting and it’s definitely something i’d enthusiastically recommend to other people but i just didn’t really click with it. maybe a prose issue, idk, it got kind of dense sometimes in a way that didn’t really work with the plot, imo.

the story of silence, alex myers: rating…i don’t know, i feel like it might be a book that’d improve on rereading, provisional three because i felt a bit disappointed. retelling of the roman de silence, a 13th century french poem about a lord who, due to inheritance law, raises his afab child silence as a boy and which i haven’t yet read (which might be one of the reasons it didn’t click, i couldn’t tell if/where myers was deviating from the story beyond the obvious change to the ending—in the poem, silence ends up married to the king; in the book, silence escapes that fate and the fate of being forcibly externally gendered in general). i think that probably its best strength is as a prose adaptation of the poem, because it definitely has the feel of, like, the better prose adaptations of arthurian poems (which this is, merlin is in it). but on its own i’m less sure; there’s not really a lot of character exploration. i’m gonna donate my copy because it’s a 400-page hardback and i don’t want to pay to send it home, i can get a paperback in the states.

wakenhyrst, michelle paver: two stars. oy. a very boring gothic horror with not enough horror and far too many diary entries from the main character’s terrible father. remarkably unsympathetic treatment of the housemaid who is being, frankly, sexually exploited by said father. also i felt like there were digs being taken at margery kempe, which is less serious but still annoyed me. paver really, really likes doing epistolary/diary-based horror—she did it in dark matter, which i did like—but these ones are just not well-done, the shift back and forth between them and the main character’s perspective doesn’t do much, and the horror—which as far as i can tell is the maybe-real ghost of the father’s sister who he let drown in the fen when they were kids coming back into the house—is just not given enough room to get really settled and also not really successfully integrated with the big spooky 15th century painting that’s also part of the whole thing somehow.

one-way street and other writings, walter benjamin, trans. j.a. underwood: three stars again? i don’t know; i think that a lot of it was very well-written / translated but i was missing the referents to actually engage with it. also i was really, really tired when i read the first two essays. i did like “one-way street,” it felt kind of like invisible cities in a way, and “hashish in marseille” was funny because like dude we’ve all been there, we’ve all been high and unable to stop staring at people’s faces. i think overall the things that i understood i liked but i didn’t understand as much as i wanted to.

the dunwich horror and other stories, h.p. lovecraft: three and a half, four, something in that neighborhood, graded to the lovecraft curve (a curve somehow squamous and rugose!). overall the stories were pretty well-selected—the dunwich horror is definitely one of his best, the thing on the doorstep is very interesting as a story, like, thematically; the dreams in the witch house didn’t work as well for me because it is kind of about a guy double-majoring in math and folklore too hard (and what the fuck is “non-euclidean calculus” anyway, howie), accidentally discovering teleportation, and then getting chased by a witch and and her half gef the mongoose / half vladislav cat familiar in the form of evil shapes, the lurking fear really dropped the ball at the end and is basically a dry run for the rats in the walls; i had no idea what was going on in hypnos, and the outsider is a decent sort of twilight zone-y tomato in the mirror couple of pages. i think really what i found most interesting about this collection is that it made it very clear to me that lovecraft was deeply, deeply obsessive about eugenics. which, i mean, i’d already known he had the ingredients for it (seething, all-consuming racism; classism of the “augh the inbred hillbillies!” type that was very foundational for american eugenics; his personal concern with / fear of hereditary mental illness; interest in what was in the 1920s cutting edge science) but i hadn’t quite put them together until looking at the dunwich horror and the lurking fear and their presentation of rural new englanders, combined with the, you know, his stuff about innsmouth (as always i say: THE FISH PEOPLE DID NOTHING WRONG) and the racist implications therein, which crops up in dunwich and in thing on the doorstep, the way all three are very, very concerned with genealogy / heredity… shouldn’t have taken me that long to figure it out. one thing i did like about the lurking fear was the moment when the narrator, atop the hill where the abandoned house of the ill-fortuned and vanished martense family stands, looks out over the plain and suddenly realizes that the weird earth mounds in the area are all radially emanating from that hill. it’s an actually effective spooky moment! i thought it was gonna be giant mole people! it isn’t, it’s the martense family having somehow managed in 100 years, through some really committed inbreeding, to devolve into weird voiceless subterranean cannibalistic hominids. boo.

[quarterette]

Utawarerumono: The False Faces ep 13-25 Liveblog

Gonna just straight up do individual episode comments, since the second half is gonna be denser in content. As with the first half, this is a rewatch and will have spoilers for the games.

Opening Comments: Man there’s not much movement in the animation but its beautiful all the same.

Ep 13:

- *spit take* why are they sending Rulu? IDK if it was because the directors weren’t informed about the whole “baby of the family” detail because I can’t imagine Shis letting this happen

- Interesting how instead being of a secret force that Oshtoru sent, Haku and gang are now the accompanying force to Rulu and Atuy.

- I’ll be pleasantly surprised if Entua makes more sense in the anime than in the games

- oh wow Dekopompo is even worse in the anime, straight-up running off on his own.

Ep 14:

- I like how instead of Atuy catching the arrow the twins have a force field. Granted, it make Atuy even more of a non-entity

- the extreme long shots of the CGI soldiers are really nice. I don’t feel like we see the loss of formations as they come into contact with each other often in war anime

- why are the twins running like that - imo that way too much movement for dainty girls (maybe I’ve watched too much anime)

- wow they totally recontextualized retrieving Shinonon and cut down a lot of potential runtime.

- did they seriously remove Atuy’s bloodlust

- you know open-eyed Ougi is growing on me, him and Nosuri have such lovely eye color

- poor Maroro

Ep 15:

- I’m relieved that the adaptation art makes Raiko look less like Lelouch. Always seemed like lazy design to me, him and Mikazuchi look nothing alike.

- did they introduce the telepaths in MoD? I can’t remember.

- that triple-take of Zeguni dying was just silly. If it were one slice x3 it would have been fine but this... Oshtoru be flexing with that mountain.

- I never really felt calling Witsu an Eva was quite right but with the Akuruturuka.... yeah I see it.

- truly we are in the war arc proper now.

- Heh wouldn’t it have been interesting to have the proxies’ subservience kick in instead of having the twins shield Haku. Oh well missed opportunities. IMO it would have worked well with the accelerated timeline the anime needed to achieve.

- what is with the triple takes this episode

- ah haku wasn’t even able to save them gg

- post episode revisiting the VN comments:

they hint at the telepaths, and as I thought the Vurai razing the city wasn’t in the VN. It was a good showpiece and works with Vurai’s characterization, but messes with Haku’s as a cost - the VN suggests that Haku inherently can be ruthless (he suggests scapegoating Moznu for Anju’s kidnapping, which the anime totally skips over), while it looks like the anime is gonna use this mass destruction as the reason for steeling his heart. I can’t say I hate that the writers chose to have the main characters in the fray, but it definitely requires more suspension of disbelief that everyone got out okay compared to the VN.

- Interestingly we don’t see Oshtoru’s mech form at all. I do like the increased bro scenes between Mikazuchi and Oshtoru

Ep 16:

- Yeah we immediately feel the ripples of that last episode changing Haku’s trajectory... its a logical trajectory but... ugh. I’m not sure how I feel about such a contrary Haku. It wasn’t really a thing in the VN? So frustrating augh. Utawarerumono was never a story big on moralizing about war... and the anime writers aren’t doing a great job adding it in.

- I’m 99% sure they pulled some of Ukon’s lines for comforting Haku here from a conversation they had in the VN waaaayyy back around the gigiri fight, making the scene all the more frustrating. The concepts of powerlessness and loss of life is something that Haku had been introduced to the moment he woke up and had already been working on dealing with. I can’t say its an invalid take that he’d be shook over mass destruction (I mean, most people would) but it’s a sharp deviation from the VN.

- Oh wow they’re totally gonna retool the banquet to deal with haku’s trauma instead of him dealing with his memories of being the LAST OF HIS KIND aren’t they.

- yeah they did

- oh god don’t say the word seduce haku, rulu’s gonna die from blood loss

- lol i don’t remember the twins being tied up

- rulu is dead

- and now haku is dead too. I think only Ougi and Yakutowaruto escaped unscathed.

- this did give me the bro bonding that I had been missing in the show thus far. Not enough drinking scenes! like literally the VN is literally just baths and booze between the action lol

Ep 17:

- ah finally the flashback episode. lol all the crunchyroll comments are like “watch the first season”.

- haku calling his new buddies family... oof mito’s knowing gaze makes it all the much sadder

- Haku:”did you need to go that far” Mito: “lemme do it again with Tuskuru”

- hah “reposition your camera” nice, easy way to not show his face

- heh stares at your sister-in-law’s butt, that’s actually a pretty subtle hint without adapting any of the monologue from the VN that he kinda had feelings for her

- damn this is probably the most complete vision of the future we get in any medium

- hey to be fair the ameterasu blast was mutsumi and not exactly a product of mankind fighting each other - but it does go to show just how little Mito knew about what was actually going down

- to continue with my frustration, we see that haku is called out by his bro that he has a habit of “conceal don’t feel” so it makes his emo bit last episode even more jarring - though in hindsight I guess his depression comes less out of the blue for his friends now - its just that the reason is misattributed

- oof “make up for lost time”

- ooh I like the final scene with Woshis as the delegate to Tuskuru. The VN did fine without it but man what a cliffie for those watching the first time.

Ep 18:

- oof we’re not going to have any shinonon/kiwru antics are we

- man I can’t wait to see Benawi - he was my favorite chara in Uta1 after Touka

- wow they really did just ignore the fact that Kiwru is the prince of Ennakamuy and cut him out of the party

- dugh never mind I don’t like ougi’s open eyes here

- speaking of ougi they totally glossed over his role as reconnaissance

- and have they even mentioned that nosuri is trying to retake their clan’s name?

- cocopo still best bird

Ep 19:

- of course you’ll be sweaty haku, boro boro only wears that brown undershirt in tuskur smh

- i love how all of the dads we see dote on their daughters so much

- of course only now do they mention the fact that atuy and haku are drinking buddies and we just have to take it at face value

- actually seeing those sailor uniforms in action make atuy’s regret that much funnier, the stills don’t quite do it justice (though really, it’s the sound effects carrying the team)

- lol the background soyankekur antics are great

- cocopooooo noooo damn this romance with mukkur is great

Ep 20:

- huhu woshis was allowed down to the underground garden huh

- benawiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

- dang they didn’t use the hot air balloon ;-; so disappointing like if they do it this way they won’t even get to retake the supplies ;-;

- i guess its a good way to hint at kuon’s identity

- something is wrong with kurou’s face

- also where the fuck is nosuri - i know kiwru is a lost cause for this show but nosuri too? they really are trying to wipe out the tactics seen in the VN

- i do think the line about kurou’s line to kuon about “ripping the country in half” is nice - can’t remember if it was in the VN but at this point most of the good lines seem to be coming out of the VN

- ugh the twins are such a cop out, still think they should have went with the hot air balloon strategy

- we hardly knew ye mito

Ep 21:

- dang I’m pleasantly surprised by these CG soldiers

- bye bye munechika, still salty you can’t turn into a mech

- oof “I’m sure my mom was someone like you” this show lives and breathes on dramatic irony

- bye bye anju, what was the point of actually having oshtoru there when the tea was delivered? makes him seem more incompetent than he is, though entua was nowhere to be seen - imo for the best

- oshtoru, an honorable man through and through, giving up your mask, lowkey too honorable for your own good

- okay one of my favorite things is how regularly dekopompo is ignored during the generals’ council meetings; overlapping voices isn’t really a thing in the VNs due to its nature as a written medium first and foremost

- oh interesting Oshtoru’s men are coming to defend him that’s new

- oh no torture time ;-;

- post episode VN notes: ugh they also dropped the Woshis power grab of locking Dekopompo and Raiko outside of the gates

Ep 22:

- Yes go be a dad Yakuto and stop Nekone from doing stupid shit please oh please oh please

- Man they are seriously retooling oshtoru’s downfall aren’t they - wish it didn’t come off so crudely planned. Like, y’all know Oshtoru is loved by the people, did the generals not think some sort of rioting would happen if you let that info go public? Granted the original plot of having Entua sneak the info out is pretty contrived... but at least it better preserves the perceived competency of the generals by forcing a smaller timeframe in which everything goes down.

- man people watching this will be so confused next season when they realize Kiwru is a prince

- wut Kuon you should know you probably won’t be able to get info to the princesses once y’all leave. Good that Shinonon is going on ahead to Ennakamuy though.

- eh are they’re gonna try leaving by sea this time? even though Ennakamuy is in the mountains?

- secret tunnel ~ ♫

- aw no Evenkuruga reveal for Nosuri and Ougi. Though, I guess the anime never established that their base was in the Hakuorokaku basement...

- you know, since they just generalized the jamming barrier it’s kinda nice to see that the gang had to sneak in the hard way. IMO that’s one of the “game design justifies the plot” moments - the VN tries to keep everyone together so you can have all your unit options when fighting, but let’s be honest smaller strike teams work at times.

- oh hi Honoka, you’re not arrested here? guess not.

- oh god have they been translating Atuy’s “onii-san”s as “mister” this whole time? I can’t say that “love” was a better translation but that’s just tragic

- I wish we got more hints that haku actually has been doing some training (aka the SRPG parts of the game) rather than these random moments of competency and knocking out the guards.

- good god oshtoru your honorableness is gonna be the death of you. how can you trust Vurai. Seriously idk how it’s gonna turn out here, but Vurai literally wants to see Anju dead in the VN.

- ok i lie splitting the party was a terrible idea. they are taking way too long to convince oshtoru to take a stand. these men are way too stubborn. jk its fine

- whelp there goes the boat

- aw yeh Yakutowaruto lets go

Ep 23:

- Yakutowaruto continues to be a badass

- ugh and of course Oshtoru gets hurt, and he’s not gonna tell anyone

- ok I’m enjoying how acrobatic these twins are

- the plot change ripples continue to be seen; there’s no distractions at the gates since dekopompo is inside the gates. Raiko’s strategy stuff does make for good tension tho.

- ugh the fact that Soyankekuru is in the capital is gonna complicate things. The moment Atuy is seen to defect he’s screwed. That’s gonna change the timeframe of things second half.

- lol Kuon god powers time, hope there weren’t too many casualties. Poor Nosuri now has two sacks of people to deal with...

- ok I feel like I’m seeing more poor art quality this episode

- wow it seems that everyone’s on board for some arson today

- bruh don’t take him through the sewers Oshtoru’s wound’s gonna get infected

- oh god who thought it was a good idea to give Rulu a blade.

- Cocopo best bird. Period. MVP.

- Soyankekuru, what a guy.

Ep 24:

- ooh mech fight in the city? oh nvm its just a sword fight. a sword fight between two beasts. thank god vurai ain’t that dumb

- wait they said there was a barrier in the palace, but i don’t think there was a barrier for the outer walls? why the frick didn’t the twins just teleport out for the last bit? they were pretty close to the gates... unless they needed the gates open anyways?

- vurai? not dumb? scratch that, good god do y’all not care about the safety of the people? guess not cuz it’s MECH FIGHT TIME (ok, if we’re honest oshtoru’s the one who initiated so yes he’s equally dumb)

- water vs fire, groudon vs kyogre, this is what animation is all about YASSS

- the twins’ shield is too OP

- haku please stop indulging Nekone

- will the twins actually be able to seal Vurai? they were kind of trash at doing their job in the VN (though they did have the good excuse of being exhausted for this particular instance)

- ok that nekone running sequence is jank

- damn haku blocked that punch? oh no he’s on fire

- looking like nekone’s “it was my fault” is gonna be part of a cascade of setbacks rather than the final blow. I’m kinda glad - the VN’s take was probably the most exasperating part of the whole story - gutwrenching but also made me want to punch her. I’m up for arguing whether or not taking that away was a good thing

- oh no the salt. no. how could you put it at the post-credits scene.

- vurai’s confirmed dead? that could be a problem next season.

Ep 25:

- dang what an opener giving us no info just kuon looking sad. we had emo haku now get ready for emo kuon i guess

- nuedori is probably my favorite song after kimi ga tame, such a good song to overlay the time skip over

- man anime viewers must be so confused. like they saw Haku and Oshtoru get out of town but only Oshtoru show up. man this is so effed up.

- no not the fan noooo augh  brokoro in the kokoro

- sad nekone really sells it doesn’t it

- dang I knew Ennakamuy was surrounded by mountains but I guess the anime went and interpreted that as a CRATER

- at least kuon didn’t leave until later in the night?

-i know the twins did a spell in the VN as well but seeing the visual change between haku and oshtoru is a bit silly

- what’s with the flower field that’s so cheesy

- i can see why someone said laughed rather than cried during this particular use of kimi ga tame - the alternating shots to his saltification is just silly, there’s so many prettier shots for showing people dissolving - like the VN gave you a very serviceable “standing on a cliff as the sun rises and you fade into dust” why didn’t you take it

- side note in the VN i was imagining it something like this scene from CCS but different lighting (sorry I could only find the english dub on short notice, timestamp at 1:13:24):

- also how could you get everyone off model during such an important part

- you know what I’m just gonna pretend that there was some really bad production crunch so they had to do a rush job smh

- i do like this orchestration tho

- oh god the cheese never ends, now it’s raining

- that said it’s not terrible, but definitely missing something compared to the VN

- haha with some of your decisions next season you might just end up in Denebokshir Haku. jk we all know how it ends

- boro boro ;-; yes go hug your kid she needs all the comfort she can get

[aparticularbandit]

State of Bandit Fic

it’s been a couple of months since i posted one of these and i’d like to have one done by the end of the year SO here we go. under a read more for length.  my apologies, mobile users.

plans for the rest of the year:

roisa secret santa goes up next monday.  i still don’t know what i’ll post on the monday after that.  i have another chapter ish of falling written, but idk if that’s a direction i really want to go with that novel.  maybe, maybe not.  idk.

word count maintained 2k during november with only a few hiccups.  this month the first couple of weeks i had multiple days where word count was less than 1k.  i’ve gotten it back up to 1k and think that the sudden jump from main focus on roisa hp au to main focus on rss was part of the issue there (when i go and make sure i get 1k in the hp au, i tend to hit 2k again, so there’s that).  i plan to try and maintain the 1k to the end of the year with the hope that i reach a total of 400k written this year (at the end of november, i was at approximately 381.5k - give or take a few - which means i only needed to write 18.5k this month.  i have at least 11.5k in various other non-roisa hp au projects from this month, not including any word count from second writes, and i know i’ve done at least another 1k (probably 2k or more) in the roisa hp au - so i should be hitting that if i keep up the 1k minimum).

that Christmas project i said i started last year and wanted to finish this year won’t be finished in time for Christmas most likely so my apologies.  :/  it just takes more mental thought for less word count and my focus right now is on rss.  sorry.

plans for next year:

i’m very tentative on these, but this is what i’ve been thinking about (and may or may not actually do):

focus on five days a week at 1-2k with saturdays and sundays off - still plan on keeping word count on one of those days but giving the other one for second write for the monday update because i’ve found that trying to do the second write and final edits and get 1k written is really hard for me to do, especially with longer updates.  so i’m not going to push myself for that.

this also potentially allows me an additional day to spend editing or drafting other projects - like the roisa hp au or mexican stud or stuff like that which i want to be finished and go through another edit and possible betaing before posting - and while that might not be immediately, i like that space being open and available.

focus on finishing the rough draft of the first book of the roisa hp au and hopefullly get it through a second draft and betaing and polishing so that maybe it starts getting posted in july or august.

i was thinking july but we’ll see.  i don’t want to lock myself into something like i did with ACAL this year, and while i like having it set up for the beginning of the school year, i’m not sure that’s enough time.  i haven’t done this kind of editing/drafting/betaing before on a project - with the exception of noir fic, which...hasn’t been posted and got stalled in the fourth draft.

i also think that this would be in place of the monday updates instead of a separate update as i originally planned.  because this first book is currently 16 chapters long, that would give me multiple months to focus on other projects while they’re updating - and that time off was something i really wanted in july and ended up getting mostly in october and november.  so we’ll see.

possibly hosting roisa fic week probably around july 4th and then possibly hosting rss next year, as well, but with a longer application time (probably all of october, but unsure).

possibly pick-up lines month for january into february in time for valentine’s day.  still not sure.

more focus on personal projects.

i want to write my original fic and i’ve been focusing on fanfic and that’s not a problem but i should do some writing on my original fic, too.

not sure what this means yet because i plan to maintain monday updates because that’s been a good schedule for the past however many months and i like having that schedule.

i did set up a blog for that fantasy thing i mentioned a while back, but it’s...more complicated and something i want to ease into before bringing it up real big.  so.  in the wings.

time off from social media in january.

not sure how i’ll be doing this either, but i just want to take some time off from facebook/tumblr/twitter/etc.  i don’t think full blackout because i plan to still be posting links to chapter updates and such here, but i’ve found...i get really worn-out and waste so much time and i just.  want to see what happens.  idk.

so that’s that.

and then general fic updates:

posted but incomplete fics:

if you lived here, you’d be home now

no change from last update

started a reread, maybe that’ll help

jane: the real story

no change from last update

might be dead fic; i’m not super interested in continuing this

blame soulmate timer au

heart in motion

no change from last update

luisa and the child

aka the sequel to luisa and the fox

no change since last update with the exception of some brainstorming

sin rostro

holding off because other projects are louder right now.  still excited for this idea, though

emilia antonia

started the next chapter.

probably going to be focusing on this as one of my primary focuses in the new year.  actually i should poll about this.

falling

have another chapter written but not posted but not sure if want to keep that direction or not

started the chapter past that one as well

aftershocks

all of the current chapters are posted

back to back-burner

debating a flashback chapter

the time of your life

finished posting bitches get glitches

rafael’s fic - and the rest of this series - is one of my potential primary focuses in the new year.  i’m still really excited about this series and where it’s going.

have working titles for both rafael’s and petra’s fics.

apparently michael, who i hadn’t planned to have involved, is maybe going to actually show up.  i’m thinking his first appearance might be in petra’s fic, but i’m not sure on that point.

unposted fics:

where the lightning splits the sea:

aka roisa hp au

the first book rough draft is probably going to be my primary focus in the new year, as i stated above.

currently in chapter eleven of what i expect will be sixteen.  chapter lengths vary, so it’s possible that when i go through the second write i may change chapter divisions so that they aren’t too long for ao3 postings.

i’m still super excited to be writing this one and super excited to jump into this fic so - i haven’t hit burnout, which is amazing.

mexican stud

aka rosalint fic

no change from last update

probably a primary focus in the new year as stated above

everything’s coming up roses

no change from last update

various other soulmate aus

no change from last update

epic superhero crossover

aka jtv/tick/timeless/supergirl/x-files/agent carter/person of interest crossover

possibly also to include proven innocent and deputy in a tie-in with the x-files aspect - re: how to get mulder and scully directly involved and not just have the syndicate and world-building aspects

still getting bigger

obviously i have added in person of interest as part of the crossover - primarily because i pulled in wendy mcnally - bridget’s character - from one of the episodes not because i’m pulling in main characters or themes (although there’s a possibility of that)

i have started bits and pieces of this

mexican stud, obviously

mostly dottie/lint stuff

and then a few thousand words in collateral damage, which is basically the wendylu fic that explains what happens with luisa in the three years after rose’s death

the primary fic taking place three years after rose dies but there are a lot of other interconnecting fics that cover that period and earlier, etc.

i want this to be a primary focus, but it’s...complicated

timeless/noir fusion fic

HEY I STARTED IT

IT SHOULD BE REALLY COOL

LOOK IT’S EXCITING AND I WANT TO WRITE MORE OF IT

basic premise: lucy teams up with amnesiac!assassin!emma as they delve into secret societies and etc.

emma is an assassin and has amnesia.

rittenhouse doesn’t suck.

carol doesn’t suck.

lucy is still a history professor, but at amy’s behest (YEAH AMY’S ALIVE), she went to a smaller university somewhere else instead of going into carol’s department

idk who else will show up in the fic yet - emma probably has one of the machines but i’m not sure which one yet either, so that means probably should look at rufus/jiya/mason and maybe flynn BUT not sure

noir is very female-focused with no male main characters so trying to mesh that with timeless is complicated

the focus would need to be on emma and lucy and their relationship

as a result, this will likely end up being prestmore.

sorry not sorry.

there are other projects i’ve considered - like one with nymphs kind of related to something else, and pick-up lines month like i mentioned above, AND ALSO @only-freakin-sunflowers AND I MIGHT BE BRAINSTORMING A COLLAB PROJECT - but i think that’s a good place to stop for now.  ^^

[only-the-gentle-survived]

just realised i haven’t written down any of my initial thoughts/theories from the perfectionists pilot so here goes before tonight’s ep probably proves me completely wrong

nolan’s killer

my first thought was claire (she’s shady af), but the more i think about the parallels they set up between ali and taylor, the more i think taylor might’ve pushed him? i’m not entirely sure why at this point - maybe a possible motive might become clearer as the show goes on - and if nolan did text ali to meet him then i’m not really sure why he’d trust her already, unless he already knows her? unless it’s just because he knows her past and thought she could help?

but considering ali gets the text from nolan asking to meet him in tonight’s preview, surely it’s possible that he could’ve mistaken taylor for her on the roof? after all, they kept reminding us how alike they both look and it was dark... maybe he didn’t realise she wasn’t ali until it was too late. that’s my theory for now anyway, although i’m sure it’ll change every ep as we find out more

(another wilder theory - if mona does know taylor is alive and is possibly in a relationship with her as people are speculating, is it possible that he could’ve asked to meet mona thinking she could help but taylor intercepted it and went there to kill him? sounds crazy but you never know with pll)

mona’s involvement

well i called the whole talking-to-people-through-mirrors thing from the first scene... it was clear to me that they were trying to make us think mona was losing it again. the most obvious suggestion imo is that claire/bhu know mona’s past and probably hired her for that, so they got her on side to “help” them (for what purposes idk yet) - but they’re exploiting her mental illness to get her to spy for them, despite knowing how dangerous that could be, and she’s gonna end up starting to spiral for real. and i think ali will be the one either to figure it out or who mona confides in to try and make sense of it all, which is where they’ll grow closer

but i also wouldn’t discount the theory that mona’s imagining all of this, especially after the “safe place” line that sounds suspiciously like a therapist - i really hope it isn’t that, purely because i just want them to write mona’s mental illness properly for once and give some decent rep, but i wouldn’t put it past them and it would fit with how they tend to write her character

oh and the line about her reasons for being in paris “escaping her”? obviously we’re meant to think that means alex and mary are on the loose somewhere (which i’m all here for if it means i get troian on tp at some point for flashbacks), but i’m still not 100% convinced the dollhouse in paris was real... maybe she imagined the whole scenario, and she’s been in therapy for it (which is all going to be undone by claire’s manipulation)? so she might think she’s better and that she’s working to try and find out the truth about something for beacon guard, but it could still all be a hallucination (but i’d much rather it not be)

either way, janel is absolutely killing this season already and i cannot wait for what’s to come - this is her time to shine and i couldn’t be more proud

other random thoughts

• the car that followed nolan to taylor’s cabin wasn’t mona’s - could it have been claire? especially if she did kill him

• caitlin seems too obvious a suspect, but I would love for the perfectionists to not actually be the victims this time and to be involved somehow

• they’re definitely setting up possible pll cameos in season two (particularly emily - i feel like towards the end of the season we’ll see ali try to reconnect with her)

• it crossed my mind from the taylor similarities that there’s still a chance they could somehow link it back to bethany young/her being related to ali somehow (yes it’s far fetched but this is pll)

• from the secrecy and the way they’ve all been hinting, i’m convinced mona’s new love interest is a girl (we been knew forever that she’s decidedly not straight so it’s what she deserves)

• ali and mona’s friendship is everything we’ve deserved since season one pll and it’s already the heart and soul do the show as far as i’m concerned

• i’m in love with eli brown

that’s all i can really remember but hopefully i’ll be back with more thoughts after the next ep - if anyone wants to chat about theories etc feel free to hmu!!

[praphit]

MA: Free Booze & Pizza Rolls!

Octavia Spencer has gotten into the horror movie game, and it's a big deal!- or is it?

You don't always need to go paranormal or supernatural with demon dolls and angry ghosts. You don't even have to go super villain style like Jigsaw. Sometimes, it's scary enough just having everyday people who snap and start doing evil.

We've had a long movie history of stuff like that:

That old movie "Basic Instinct" - Sharon Stone, baby! Making her mark! 

I don't remember much about this film; I'm not positive that I even saw it, BUT I DO remember the world losing it's mind with her... police station questioning... crotch revealing scene. And then, people died or something. That info alone makes for a ridiculous movie, so there was probably more to it than that - A crotch and many deaths. I don't remember, exactly. If you see the crotch you die, maybe? Like a medusa crotch? Instead of stone, you just fall out. Idk. No, I think there were people turning to stone. Maybe some snakes were down there too. Idk, I may have just invented a new movie; I can't remember. But, it's buck wild!

We had my man Jack! 

My fave horror movie "The Shining". Which is extra scary because Jack plays a creative type. And we creative types are always just a bad day away from chasing somebody with an axe.

50 Shades! You may say "You're wrong there, Praphit! That movie was about sexy time! Stalky, freaky, kinky, sexy time" You sure?

Replace this dude stalking Dakota Johnson 

with let's say - this dude

(Tyler, the Creator) and I bet that some of y'all will think differently.

And even as recent as a few months ago - I think Dennis Quaid was in a movie where a young black couple gets trapped in a house with him on a bender or something.

Or was that a true story? I don't remember.

All of these people have the same thing in common - they're all white.

Now, finally, Octavia Spencer is breaking barriers. "MA"

From the trailer, you'd think that this movie will be thrilling, sure, but ALSO kinda wacky; like it could have an early evening BET slot. Let me stop that right here -  there ain't nothing wacky about Ma. Ma means business.

The set-up is good:

We've got a group of high school kids who I hated from the beginning. Looking back, it's not so much all of them, but two of them. Let that be a lesson, kids - the most outspoken people in your group will define your group; don't let assholes define you. These are some of the most obnoxious, sex-crazed, alcoholic kids I've ever seen. They'll drink anytime. Right after school - drank! School night with a big project they haven't finished, due the next morning - drank! Their love of alcohol is what gets them into trouble in the first place.

They meet Ma as a stranger, walking her dog. They ask her to buy them alcohol. It's not long after that, that they end up in Ma's basement 

and something extremely odd/creepy/effed up happens... BUT, Ma has free booze and pizza rolls, so the kids let it go. This happens time and time again. Ma crosses the line into crazy or creepy or even violent, the kids know something's wrong, but alcohol brings the party back to Ma's.

There are a bunch of flashbacks to show what happened to Ma back in the day to make her this crazy and eventually violent. And this is where, I think, the movie messes up.

Get on with it! Give me some context and get to killing! But, then when they finally get to what happened to her (not until the 3rd act btw), you're like "Huh... that was weird. Awful, but... what?" They lead you to think that something else is going to happen to her, but then... THAT! It's original, I'll give them that. But, that doesn't warrant all of her craziness and violence. To be fair, not much would warrant all that she ends up doing. You know?? Just get a good therapist and move on with your life. Or drink and suppress your issues; you're in the right town for that, apparently.

And there are so many issues going on here that are never really talked about: I mentioned the alcoholism, but there's some cancer stuff, there's some racial stuff, there's some peer pressure stuff - one kid (who's a pastor's kid) goes to parties and pretends to be sleep, so she doesn't have to drink and get in trouble by her pastor father. That actress spent the whole movie asleep! 

There's one black kid in the group who is only there to be black. He actually tries to be the voice of reason in the beginning of the film - he's like "We don't know this chick. What are we doing?" They look at him like "He's saying words, but... where's the color?" He quickly gets back onboard with being the funny black dude. There is a lot to unpack here, but... nope, gonna keep it moving. Ma does something to that black kid towards the end which is questionable (on a race level), especially due to the fact that the role of Ma was originally written for a white woman.

Plus, this movie (before the killing) takes a real dark turn. The kids find something in the house and... it's very screwed up, but then the movie never gets to that. We eventually get to the killing, but the kills aren't even that satisfying. For one, they're too quick, and for two, we still don't really get why Ma is doing all of this. It's not so much what happened to her as it is she's simply crazy.

This movie had so much potential. Juliette Lewis is in this as well. She has def played some crazy roles. I wish she would have teamed up with Ma.

You gave me a bunch of kids to hate, and barely touched them. You spent 85% of this movie giving me set-up and a backstory that didn't payoff. You dipped your toe in serious issues and then ran off. KILL!

Let's go back to "Basic Instinct" Sharon Stone used her power of her medusa crotch mightily! Flashing and killin throughout the movie! Maybe Sharon Stone, along with Juliette Lewis, should both be in this movie with Octavia Spencer. Call it "Maz" Picture Octavia Spencer doing the robot dance with the kids, making out with young boys (which does happen in this movie - very disturbing), and poisoning kids. Juliette Lewis could do kind of a Rambo thing with a bunch of weapons. Or...

 ... or whatever the hell is going on here. Just unleash her on the kids and tell her “Just do you.”

And Sharon... spreading wide and bodies droppin, baby! THAT'S a movie! This??!

*sigh* sadly - Grade: generous D

[good-wine-and-cheese]

20th Century Boys Feelies

Alright here it comes this is just a big ol’ dump of my feelings about 20th Century Boys. Since a lotta people who follow me haven’t read it (and also just because it’s stupid long) I’ll keep it under the cut!

Plot

This was a fun kind of story to read! It was a bit strange in that it felt almost more innocent than Monster, despite the fact that much much worse things happen in 20th Century Boys that threaten the entire world as opposed to the much more self-contained story that Monster was...but I think that has to do with the nature of the story itself. It really does read like the kind of story a bunch of kids would put together, so as terrifying as everything is, it’s hard not to forget that (at least for me). It felt a lot more adventurous and light-hearted as a story. Which isn’t to say that the threat wasn’t felt - it definitely was, it just had a different feel to it. Also the approach to realistically dissecting certain themes in shows (like giant mechs) was fun for me.

Narrative Style

I think one of my favourite things about 20cb was actually the way the story was told kinda back and forth across various points in time. When we got flashbacks to childhood, we only ever saw exactly enough of a particular scene to keep the mystery going while also feeding some new details. It was a very effective way to make me keep reading so I could see that scene again and get more information the next time. It could be a bit difficult to follow sometimes (particularly at the end, when more stuff gets included) but tbh it wouldn’t be the same if it was told differently. 

There was also the humour that really caught my eye (moreso in the way it was shown visually). Kyoko especially had some very comedic facial expressions - it really felt like I could ‘hear’ her sometimes which usually I have a hard time with when reading. 

Characters (as a whole)

God are they relatable. The thing about 20th Century Boys’ cast is that...there’s something that I can see of myself in almost all the characters. I love Monster’s incredibly complex cast, but in terms of relatability, a lot of them are in some way above the average; genius surgeon, wealthy family, super detective, criminal mastermind. 20th Century Boys is just about a buncha people with average jobs that get shoved into a heroic role and I have an easier time seeing myself in them. Especially as kids. Which is something else I need to talk about tbh!

Not only are they really well written as child characters, they also deal with a lot of issues as kids that I can remember having...so it’s really easy for me to sympathize. Like this kid was bullied...that kid just wants people to notice him...they had their special base destroyed..they’re all very human feeling. Also those little “kid issues” are written in such a way that even if they’re menial and silly to adults, there’s a lot of drama and pain behind them. And to kids that is incredibly painful so it really hits you.

20th Century GIRLS

Alright I gotta say something about the female cast of 20CB. For one thing there was a pretty wide variety, which is a nice improvement from having maybe 3 in Monster. Not only are at least 4 of them major players (one even the protagonist for a considerable amount of time) but they’re even in many cases the driving force. Sure the guys do a lot, but it’s the women who are really the go-getters and progress the plot. Like I could go into detail about this but just in general like....a lot of the things that happen in the story are either initiated or progressed by the ladies and that’s awesome tbh. 

Yoshitsune….

Alright special mention here to Yoshitsune because if there’s any character I didn’t expect to care so much about it’s him. First starting the manga I expected that he and Maruo would sort of get pushed into the role of “Kenji’s sidekicks” - but then we end up getting so much more out of both of them.

Yoshitsune in particular is a character I really relate to, much more than I thought I would. A lot of his issues as an adult and as a kid are/were things I really feel so his development (and especially the stuff we see in the virtual reality) was a real heavy hitter for me. I had to actually break from reading for a little after one scene in particular because it was way too real (...of course if I’d have kept reading I would have gotten the closure but yanno)

Outside of being relatable what I really love about Yoshitsune is that even though he’s not a fighter at all, and incredibly shy and weak, he still defends the group’s hideout, and is sort of the grit that keeps them together. In the big fight with the twins we really get to see that, but also in the summer of grade 6 he’d gone ahead and started to rebuild the secret base by himself (and then of course there’s all that he does as an adult). Idk I just really like characters like that, who maybe aren’t very strong or brave but go that extra mile to make sure the group is looked after.

Fave Moments

There’s a bunch of really good scenes here, but I think the ones that really stuck with me were the quieter scenes, without action and fighting. I mean Otcho being an absolute badass was a delight and all, but the scenes that really stuck with me were the ones without fighting.

The biggest one is when Yoshitsune’s group went to take over Friend’s headquarters and what looks like a giant all-out battle quickly just becomes a bunch of people walking calmly through the front doors because Yoshitsune just talks them all down from violence. It’s an incredibly powerful scene to me.

Kenji and Chouno facing down the police and just singing is also amazing (and really solidifies Kenji as a fave tbh). Definitely this is one of the more memorable lines of dialogue from Kenji. 

And the last one was when Sadakiyo talked to his old teacher and he remembered him...seeing the photograph was really sweet and sad and the closest I came to crying tbh

Jeez, okay well that’s all I can think to say right now….it was a really fun (long!!! But fun) ride with a very relatable cast and very fun plot. I wound up relating to the story a lot more than I thought I would (I went in more or less blind). I’ll probably re-read it sometime in the future, because I feel like it’s one of those stories that needs to be read more than once to really digest everything (a LOT happens and all) and I’ll have a different experience the second read through.

I just wish we could’ve seen Yukiji actually flip Otcho that one time she thought he was an enemy lmao

Maybe Billy Bat next….we’ll see