#so long as it's not him

[stealingpotatoes]

tried to tell my faithful eunuch Tucker that he was basically tumblr famous, but he was too focused on defending the homestead to care

[aq2003]

this is so cool and also rosencrantz and guildenstern's sign names are killing me lol

[wasabi-gumdrop]

local ladies man’s signature move totally useless against autistic monster enthusiast. more on Kabru’s fumble era at 6

[clowns0up-felix]

Burying vs digging

[raphaerolo]

What if a Jedi's eyes glowed to match their lightsaber tho

[orbitganymede]

self proclaimed guard dog simon who’s never held a conversation with you or even really tried to interact with you at all. he had caught a glimpse of you out on the town and traced you back to your current job, lucky for him, on base. you’re a little freaked out, this mammoth of a man randomly shows up one day and pulls a chair up to your desk, takes out a book and just hangs out for a few hours? even leaves an extra lighter for his cigs in your pen holder. introductions were a quick back and forth on names and that’s about it, sometimes he comments on your clothes or jewelry, he saw your dainty little chain on your neck and purchased an S charm the next day, left it on your desk and that was that. you really shouldn’t be okay with this but he’s kinda intriguing, and the guy that has the office next to yours hasn’t bothered you in weeks, something you’ve been begging for mentally, so really what’s simon doing wrong? he sometimes even brings you a stray pudding cup from the mess, how sweet.

but what really gets you is when you’ve just got in your car, setting your things down, buckling your seat belt, the works, but simon slides in your passenger seat, gives you a look (his eyes look so pretty in the sunlight) and tells you to “take us home”, you’re nervous to say the least, you heard what happened to janet in admin when she told him one of his stacks of paperwork was filed wrong, that she wasn’t gonna take his next one until he fixed his mistake (she’d left crying, cursing his name to high hell, and asking for a transfer) so really what choice do you have.

and maybe he walks into your place, goes straight for where you always store your remote and turns on the channel you like to watch, almost as if he’s seen this routine before, he even asks what face mask you’re gonna do tonight, you wonder how he guessed that you do a face mask every friday night (he suggests the blueberry charcoal one, says it makes your skin glowy (he did not use the word glowy)) you shrug and go on with your nightly tasks, make dinner, do dishes, shower. but what actually makes you stop in your tracks is when he walks out of the bathroom, still steamed up from his shower, butt ass naked and asks you what your favorite position is, pet.

[truuskn]

he's so cute and sillyyy 😫 my goood, look at him, just look at him!! how do we even have the nerve to pump his life with angst? my dude deserves to be happy 24/7

[thisdudedoesntexist]

Danny doesn't know he's the Ghost King, or that he's scaring the shit out of other people.

So, Danny and Jazz moved to Gotham for a new start in their life and un-life ( ignore that he and Jazz are rather young to be moving across the country, ignore that his parents died saving them from the GIW ). They've got an "ok" apartment, and a job at this cute little flower shop run by an eccentric "possibly former supervillains" lesbian couple.

He's even making friends with the ghosts. Like Richard and Mary Grayson (trapeze incident) who are teaching him to fight like a human, if Danny didn't know better he'd think they were stalking those vigilantes. or Dr. Hamish (killer clown?) who's helping Jazz with her studies.

Apparently some time before they met Danny they were just shades who couldn't even manifest, weird. There's also the weirdly active shades telling him where all the good spots to watch the city are and how to find the cheapest prices at stores.

Nobody knows what's wrong with this creepy kid. Every time some mugger even looks in the scrawny boy's direction their loved ones show up and yell at them until the kid's down the street.

Batman tried to investigate the potential meta until he saw his parents waving in a nearby window. Danny's neighbor swares his grandma is haunting him and Danny for some reason, and any time the Joker goes within a city block of ivy and Harley's flower shop/home he becomes blind and deaf by the sheer number of his "volunteers" telling him to die.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

my au where bee goes with megatron and the decipticons instead LOL

[egophiliac]

once again, don't think I'm not still obsessing over 7-12

(eventually I will get back to being less scribbly, whoops)

[rui-drawsbox]

my favorite scene by far. malleus ugly crying silver shocked cuz he never saw him like that lilia just lying there😭 bruv i love them so much

[duckysprouts]

if you were at your worst, if you’re a villain or a screwup or whatever, there is a goth man dressed as a giant bat who keeps coming after you, bothering you. he sabotages your journey of self destruction over and over. ur ready to give up but he won’t let you. you think, today he won’t come. today he will give up on me too. he never does.

[remcadll]

Dick is never going to get to have a midlife crisis because Bruce is going through his for him. also because he will not be making it to 40.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Poppy playtime should have more Harley Sawyer ngl

[cinnamon-flame]

Qibli and Winter annoying each other for fun

[keferon]

Don’t mind me I just like to see him go bananas about cartoonish Autobot rules

Maaan…..if Prowl was in tfp he would spontaneously combust at least once a day